#i have avoided talking about this game but this is my exception lemme walk you through this

[irregodless]

dude this game sucks so bad im gonna kill everyone on the planet then myself

[anderjak]

i'm just gonna be a hyperfocusing goober for today, so let me have this

so i really like the pikmin games. for the longest time, i was no good at them, because my brain was a disorganized mess. however, by god, i tried, mostly because there is something inherently infectious about the core of this franchise that hits right on a mechanical point, and i mean this about every game (except Hey! Pikmin, because we all kinda quietly agreed we wouldn't talk about that one, which, hey? c'mon. it's good. it's just a weird spin-off.)

so, lemme talk about each game, and how the developer decided to approach each title.

it's a long one, and i don't expect anyone to be, like, hanging on to every word, but I CARE A LOT ABOUT STUFF LIKE THIS OKAY

okay you got warned so here you go:

pikmin 1 was a launch-window game that popped in a little under a month after the release of the simultaneously maligned and dearly beloved Gamecube. those of you with a big ol' trivia brain will remember that the old Super Mario 128 rumors, including its tech demo of all the li'l marios running around to show off the Gamecube's processing power, would act as the seed idea for what would eventually become Pikmin: The Game. alongside the bizarre and fun Super Mario Sunshine and Luigi's Mansion, it was one of those games that showcased how early on Nintendo didn't really consider itself in competition with Sony or the newcomer Microsoft, cuz, like, who was making a game like pikmin. nobody in major publishing and development, that's for sure.

it's a simple concept: you're a li'l guy leading 100 li'ler guys around to collect ship parts from your very destroyed spaceship that got you there in the first place. natch, the nature of the world is largely out to kill you and all your diminuitive minions. whereas Overlord would take this concept for the purpose of murdering everything in sight and generally causing chaos (which would itself be the seed idea for a PS Vita game built on the inbetween point of Overlord and Pikmin, and it was aggressively okay), Pikmin was more about structure and strategy and planning and, on occasion, taking a chill moment to build up your numbers to lick your wounds and make up your losses.

taking its camera angle low to the grass to present the mundane as gigantic was an inspired move, clearly showcased by just how lush the world was for its time, and how simple a concept it is to make the everyday seem larger than life and fantastical. y'know, like Honey I Shrunk The Kids, but you're managing a hundred kindergarteners who are all weirdly just obedient enough that you can have 'em fetch stuff for your own singular ends. (who doesn't envy that JUST a little?)

add to that the three different pikmin suited for different situations, and you have a game with some nice, unexpected complexity. your bog-standard rank-and-file red pikmin have the added benefit, apart from being adorable, of being completely and utterly fire resistant, and are the strongest attackers in the game. yellow pikmin have great big ears and are lightning-proofed, alongside being incredibly chuckable, able to reach areas others cannot. blue pikmin, however, can handle water just fine, able to walk underneath as easily as on land. each areas' challenges are built around ensuring you have and use the right pikmin for the job, as sending the wrong pikmin can mean that heart-breaking death rattle that everyone wants to avoid.

the game was notoriously short -- one could spend about eight hours on first play if they figure out the controls and strategies early on -- and so for many, it acted as a neat launch window novelty. for me, the concept carried it for multiple playthrough attempts; as terrible as i was at it, the core mechanics, limited though they were, seemed primed for teasing out a near-limitless well of ideas. and, well, clearly, that novelty continued for many, as it would get a sequel not too terribly long after.

one thing to point out is, with its short length, it actually has an in-game timer -- not just the day cycle, where you gotta get yourself and your li'ler guys aboard your respective ships before sunset, but also a 30-day timer. if you couldn't manage to collect the critical parts in time, it's game over, buddy. try again.

it's semi-roguelite in that way; it was perfectly possible to beef it so terribly that you weren't guaranteed to wind up finishing in time. however, the game… really isn't terribly tough, so most managed pretty well. the 30-day limit felt like an arbitrary limitation, especially on additional playthroughs, which, apparently, Nintendo agreed with.

enter Pikmin 2. now, for the record: i don't… love this game. however, how it approaches being a sequel is utterly fascinating to me, as I think I understand why it chose to handle its new mechanics.

gone is the day timer, and new is the extra partner: Louie. with the ability to swap between two leaders or have them work in concert, multitasking became the backbone of this game… well, I mean, in theory. we also swap ship parts for treasure, as the crux of the game is paying off Olimar's employer's massive, crippling debt. thankfully, you have all the time in the world, because Hocotate Freight, the aforementioned employer, doesn't have continual interest applied to their loan. weird. but acceptable. (god, can you imagine a constantly ballooning debt goal to clear for this? someone mod the GC original, I wanna know how impossible it would be.)

there's also new pikmin: purple pikmin, who are large, can shake the earth when they're tossed (thus doing quite a bit of damage as an opening gambit), and have the strength of ten pikmin when carrying stuff; and white pikmin, which are tiny, great at finding and digging up hidden treasure, and also they'll fucking kill you if you eat one, being highly poisonous. they're also heavily poison-resistant, so feel free to send these tiny children into gaseous areas free of worry. balancing out when to yoink out these new ones -- which can only be created from specialty flowers where you exchange one of your core three pikmin, rather than growing them naturally -- becomes an additional hazard, so it's easy to be incredibly precious with these new types.

alongside that, bombs are added, which can be exclusively carried by Yellow pikmin. great for blowing up stone walls, and great for blowing up a nasty enemy in your way if you're not too precious about those bombs -- which do go away if you collect 'em all, and you gotta wait another day to pick up more.*

(note: it's been pointed out that bomb rocks were a Pikmin 1 feature, not 2; also, electricity wasn't really a feature in Pikmin 1 at all! thanks to folks tagging for this correction, though it's funny how inconsistent the games are about these sorts of things -- not that it's a huge deal.)

what's also added… are dungeons and a mission mode. dungeons, in theory, are fascinating, as they are sectioned off portions of the game meant to challenge the player. while the overworld segments are largely identical to the first game in basic scope -- one of the areas is even reused, though much expanded -- the dungeons add an honestly overwhelming amount of content.

these bits are interesting: you can't get more pikmin, so if you lose one, that's it (with, like, one technical exception). all enemies picked up after defeat are converted into a pittance of in-game currency. thankfully, the timer of the overworld is completely absent, For Reasons. (and thank goodness for that.) you're down there to find new treasure and maybe the occasional ship or suit part, get into scraps, and that's it.

i'd sort of figured, three years after the original's release, they took the claim that the first game was too short and too easy to heart, as this feels much more of a white-knuckle game. dungeons also feature unique enemies not found elsewhere, including that motherfucker the WaterWraith, an invincible steamroller that chases after one of your two leaders relentlessly. i hate this guy so much as he is sorta representative of the issues i have with this game.

now, this game was critically acclaimed, and for good reason: it was more of a really neat idea for a game, expanded with new stuff that made it highly replayable. what's not to love? however, an issue i kept running into is that there are two hundred plus treasures in the game to find, and, after eight hours (roughly the length of Pikmin 1 on first play), you'll be in good shape if you get half that. there are a lot of dungeons, and you can hit the game's first clear condition well before you've even found a good handful of dungeons.

since each treasure has a set amount of currency attached to it, you would naturally (and, largely incorrectly) assume the most dangerous dungeons hold within them the most lucrative treasure. in reality, it's a pure numbers game: most treasure, save for in the final dungeon, are worth a fairly small amount that still adds up quick. instead, the deepest dungeons, which ironically are also the most dangerous for many reasons, hold the most potential for treasure, and these bits… i will be honest, wear me out.

the volume and frequency of these dungeons do an interesting thing to a game that is otherwise fairly short and concise: it brings about fatigue. it puts a quantity-over-quality aspect to the game that works in its detriment, though the designs of these dungeons, by and large, are tight and concise, with just enough randomness to make even samey-looking areas still feel just fresh enough. you don't always start in the same area on each floor, and enemies aren't consistently laid out in set positions.

this is probably the only game in the series so far that instills in me a sense of dread when I reach a new dungeon, and it has a lot to do with pikmin 1: each day has a set length that's easy to predict, and dungeons throw a huge wrench in that. you don't know how deep things go until you're done, so you wind up setting aside time some other day to tackle them -- and you should do it that way! because those dungeons will chew you up and spit you out if you let 'em!

anyway it's great and i don't like it. you should play it. just don't go in expecting the experience to have the same satisfying loop as Pikmin 1, because it does, but it does so in sneaky, exhausting ways if you aren't prepared. it's a game meant for replays, where the first play is the worst.

now i get to talk about how much i fucking love Pikmin 3.

gone are dungeons, for the most part, and we wind up with a game much more in line with the original. the narrative is more front-and-center, focusing on three squad members who reunite after getting separated during a crash landing, and are trying to find a way off the planet while also conveniently harvesting the planet of its fruit and seeds. the central macguffin is juice: every time you collect a piece of fruit, it's converted to juice to be placed in a growing stockade of vials, each one giving a whole day's sustenance shared amongst the whole squad. rather than a hard deadline, your task is merely to make sure you don't eat more than you gather, changing the first game's hard time deadline into a more casual affair where each day can be taken on its own. considering you'll ultimately wind up with more juice containers than there are pieces of fruit to gather, it's a decidedly less stressful affair.

new pikmin naturally are added here, including rock pikmin -- craggy li'l guys great for dropping on enemies, and especially good at breaking glass and crystal -- and flying pikmin -- the only other type capable of moving over water alongside blue ones, and capable of uprooting the strange pink vines which have grown all over the place. unlike pikmin 2, these new types can be grown the same way as the standard three, and they had the big brain genius move of combining all the sources of pikmin, the Onions, into one device, making team management and composition infinitely easier.

the name of the game for Pikmin 3 really is sanding down all the friction of the first two, and making a modern entry that felt like it was learning how to provide more fun with better, more intuitive controls and more complex tasks. the world is filled with more puzzles, so the game provides a new Charge, which sends all pikmin in a group toward your target, and the ability to swap between entire teams of pikmin without accidentally tossing an errant one. GAME CHANGER. you can also send your other squad members out on their own on automated paths (one-way, sadly) so you can stay on the move at all times.

with the dungeons gone, Pikmin 3 isn't a particularly long game -- though Mission mode returns, as well as mission-like Side-Stories starring Olimar and Louie from Pikmin 1 and 2, going over the events before and after the main game in a bit of a comedy duo-style cheap excuse to play some tightly constructed timed missions that are frankly more fun than they have any right to be. it's a generally well constructed package which seeks to fatten up its stores with a variety of modes rather than attempting to pack in everything all in the story, which works massively to the game's benefit and maintains its core loop incredibly well.

its final dungeon is also worthy of note: while it is a dungeon in all ways similar to Pikmin 2, it maintains its time crunch, and adopts a roguelite mechanic of maintaining your progress, even if you fail and have to retreat. any shortcut created is retained in future plays.

i mentioned the WaterWraith in Pikmin 2 earlier, and while there is a similar creature here that I won't spoil (you should play pikmin 3, it rules), the rules and conditions are very different. while it's ever-present and looming, it more acts as a slow timer to keep you mobile. it can crawl up walls you can't, and take shortcuts otherwise unavailable to you, but it isn't particularly keen on killing you, just impeding your progress. it can be damaged and stunned temporarily, but it's utterly unkillable during this dungeon phase.

with those two elements, I figured out why I didn't have a great time with Pikmin 2, and it really just has to do with very different goals. Pikmin 3's final area is a dungeon in a lot of ways, with a focus on time management, multitasking, and puzzle-solving, but it mostly acts as a stress-test for the skills you've learned so far. meanwhile, Pikmin 2's dungeons almost feel like you have to flip a switch in your brain: you can move as slow as you want, which means the game is allowed to crank up the difficulty and create some unique challenges not faced anywhere else. pikmin 3's final area is a test of everything you learned: pikmin 2's dungeons are a new skillset you have to build on the fly.

and I suppose this is where my friction is with 2: it feels like two otherwise very good games smashed together, without as much consideration toward maintaining the skills and understandings developed over casual play between those two modes. if you're like me and keep going into pikmin 2 with the thought, "oh boy! more pikmin!" you'll get your face smashed into the floor. fun! and pikmin 3 simply isn't that kind of experience: it has its own goals which feel distinct from both, and it also makes me realize how good Pikmin 2 is, even if it's my least favorite so far, for one simple reason:

it is its own game. much like pikmin 1 and 3 are their own games. they each hold an interesting "spirit" of the core mechanics, and try to find new challenges and interest which make them feel less like subtle iterations and more like distinct flavors. they're all ice cream, but sometimes you're in the mood for chocolate, vanilla, or rocky road.

but what if you want butterscotch in a waffle cone

pikmin 4 ain't out yet. but it DOES have a fairly extensive demo containing the first portion of the game, and hoo boy does it take some liberties. somewhat similarly to 3, you don't play as Olimar or Louie, but a whole new crew, out to rescue folks who landed on the planet… only for your ship to crash and now you need rescuing. the game takes a more "survival" approach even when compared to Pikmin 3, but not in a resource management way; instead, it's more like a base builder-lite, with iterative upgrades and unlocking features which alter your play in micro- and macrocosmic ways.

this entry allows you to create and name your own li'l guy, and even drops the other squad mates as functional on-field components in favor of a dog who is less capable as a squad member and more capable as a transportation/assault vehicle. seriously, Oatchi rules. there's a home base where time doesn't move and you can talk to all the folks you rescue and navigate menus exchanging gathered resources for new abilities, gear, and more. it sounds intense, but honestly, it's all boiled down into accessible and simple systems that are pretty easy to read and interface with.

they also weirdly changed the camera; gone is the more isometric approach in favor of something closer to a third-person shooter, though it never quite feels like, say, Gears of War. while you can zoom out for a nice top-down approach, I kinda love how this game handles its camera: everything feels way more massive and intimate at the same time, and with the upgraded visuals (even beyond Pikmin 3), everything's got that umami that Nintendo is known for when they apply their efforts to, say, food or nature. they're alarmingly good at it, and it's weird.

however, they also did something i got scared of initially: dungeons are back. and in much the same form as they used to be. sssssort of.

the thing is, they did a lot of quality of life upgrades, allowing you to select which pikmin you want at the entrance before diving in, and not requiring you have everyone in arm's reach before moving on. the dungeons also feel, so far, more like puzzle areas than combat zones, so in spite of the timer being eradicated for this one (it's still around for the regular overworld segments), I haven't gotten the inclination that this title is going to commit some of the same exceptional and unique challenge that Pikmin 2's dungeons offer.

what's more, they're also used for transportation: many dungeons lead you to new areas in the overworld that are otherwise inaccessible, which means dungeons are no longer just a conveyance for weird enemy bullshit or an excuse to get a whole bunch of treasure (though you very much collect treasure in this one, much like 2). the added functionality and lessened reliance on combat makes 4 feel cozier initially, and, while the controls are still Nintendo Weird (seriously, they will never be satisfied making a control scheme that everyone is satisfied with, because they will never let us remap things ourselves, the fools), they largely stay simple and more than get the job done.

it's an experience that, unlike pikmin 2, made me immediately go, "oh, i canNOT treat this like pikmin 1." i was constantly reevaluating my relationship with the game and what it was expecting of me, and, by the end of the demo, i was more enraptured with the idea of sitting and enjoying the experience longterm than i was prior.

i don't know how well the final product will shape up: i'm worried about dungeons because i do not like pikmin 2 very much, and i worry that the upgrade systems will feel needlessly tacked on and make the game feel arbitrarily longer than it should be. i worry it'll be a much longer game than it needs to be! however, its core loop comes off as far more satisfying, and the new systems like gathering castaways and fellow crew members, building bridges with your own materials instead of relying on clearing paths to arbitrary piles of shards, and Oatchi are all things i want to keep playing with.

more than i think any game prior in the franchise, Pikmin 4 feels like a toybox. however, it's gonna live or die based on how readily it lets you play with its toolset, and if it doesn't strike the right balance, it's going to falter in a lot of the same ways as most weird experiments Nintendo's done to its flagship franchises: otherwise fine but ultimately creating unnecessary friction between itself and the players it hopes to please.

[elthadriel]

hi hello 😁

for the ship ask game…

lemme ask: codywan, fox/thorn, and i always want to know more about lepi/rion bc ur boys live rent free

You're evil Tru.

We'll do this out of order for... reasons

fox/thorn

What made you ship it?

I actually have no idea. I probably read something? Have any of our friends written it? Maybe it was that?

When I'm new to a fandom I'm game for pretty much any ship before I start getting salty, so I might just have seen art and been like "awh, that's sweet" and then I wrote fic for it and I was lost.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

Pining

I want these two making pathetic eyes at each other for fucking ever before anything happens.

I think Fox is all sharp edges and as a rule the people he's closest to are all sharp edges too. I think he struggles with vulnerability and Thorn is just patient and doesn't have a sharp edge in his body. I think being treated kindly by someone who won't rise to any of the bullshit Fox tries to start is good for getting him to stop posturing.

And I think Fox is good for Thorn as well, though it takes a little longer for that to become apparent. I think Thorn can be a people pleaser, I think he puts people before himself sometimes to his detriment and I think Fox being the stubborn bastard that he is helps Thorn be comfortable taking up more space and putting up firm boundaries on what he'll allow.

On an angsty note, Thorn dying is delicious angst, as is Fox falling deeper and deeper into Palps bullshit. I'm a sucker for stories about people watching their loved ones go down bad paths and when unable to stop them drawing a line in the sand. If Thorn walking away is enough to get Fox to actually examine what he's doing, who knows.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I've said this before, but I don't like the uwu'ing of the CG. I'm only interested in Fox when he is very aware of the fucked up things he's doing for the chancellor and is justifying them. And I think that conflict is key to what I like about Thorn/Fox.

lepi/rion are my beautiful boys

What made you ship it?

So these are OCs obviously, so I didn't really start shipping it as a made them to be shipped.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

I like that there's some opposites attract stuff. Lepi is cheerful and bouncy and Rion is sullen and very introverted. They're both neurodivergent, sometimes in ways that don't mesh well eg. when Lepi is stressed he gets antsy, he talks and moves around and talks more, while Rion gets overstimulated when he's stressed.

I like that they had to work at it. They want this to work and so they talk about it and they get better at communicating their needs and how to slot together.

They're also just very sweet.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Uh... I think the only unpopular opinion I could have is that due to O66 this will inevitably end in tragedy, which considering how you specifically feel about that will be popular or unpopular 😂

Putting codywan under a cut so people don't need to see me being negative all over the place

As you well know, I don't ship codywan

Why don’t you ship it?

I don't like how fandom characterises either of these characters, particularly Obi Wan. I shipped it when I first entered the fandom and have gone more and more off it the more time I spent in fandom. I'm not gonna get into details because I'm not actually here to start fights, but I can rant about this for hours 😂

What would have made you like it?

An entirely different fandom

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

Honestly, not really. I have so soured on this ship that I do literally everything in my power to avoid having to see it. I won't read fic that even mentions it in passing. I don't even make exceptions for my friends stuff anymore.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

hi yes im still alive

DON’T MIND ME, I’M JUST--

HAVING A MOMENT TO PROCESS ALL THE LORE AND STORY CHAPTER 6 JUST DROPPED ON US, I CAN BARELY WRITE

AHHHHHHH, I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS 😭 kjdbbaufbiafafvoaybo LEMME PUT ON MY THINKING CAP AND THROW SOME STUFF OUT ASDYUBUASDLI;AGVUOQIB;VI You’ll understand why I used Leona’s face here even though it’s Idia and Ortho’s chapter after you read my thoughts--

***Chapter 6 (and other main story) spoilers below the cut!***

Okay, just to keep it simple, I’ll try to keep things in chronological order!

First is a bullet point list of my thoughts on chapter 6 so far, then all my questions and theories (mostly a biggish theory on Ace) are at the end of the post.

Expectation: Idia cowering in his room, Vil and Rook busting down his door using Epel as a battering ram, dead Ortho theory confirmed

Reality: SWAT TEAM RAID ON NRC, DORM LEADERS (sans Kalim) AND JAMIL GET KIDNAPPED

Admittedly, I’m disappointed to see that the injury Grim inflicted to MC was basically just a cat scratch and nothing more. I thought it would be a lot more impactful if MC had to deal with juggling the realization that Grim has betrayed their friendship and trust while also on the verge of death (or at least while being severely injured)... And given how MC reacted to the attack at the end of chapter 5, I would think whatever struck them was much more substantial than just a cat scratch. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say either the script got scrubbed by Disney, or the intent was that MC was still woozy from VDC / OB Vil, MC felt so betrayed that it shook them emotionally, or that MC was just that weak by default that they can’t defend themselves against cat claws.

Hey, Ramshackle’s finally getting renovated! Proceeds to immediately get destroyed again--

I feel like????????? They tried to retroactively explain why Neige won to try and mitigate the uproar over how VDC ended. There’s some dialogue between the VDC group about how they didn’t perform at their peak because of having just walked out of dealing with OB Vil, and how Neige’s fans were going to vote for him anyway because they resonated with his background. Honestly, I think they should have moved on from that sore spot instead of bringing it up again, even if how chapter 5 ended didn’t personally bother me.

BOOM, HERE COME THE TWST TERMINATORS--

NOT GONNA LIE, THOSE STYX GUYS LOOK HOT SO COOL

AAAAAAND IT’S KIDNAPPING MONTAGE TIME, KIDS

JOABSFHUPAUABDBADB CALM DOWN, RIDDLE??????? YOU’RE GOING TO COMMIT ARSON IN BROAD DAYLIGHT--

Okay, I know this chapter’s focused on Ignihyde and Grim, but the standout part to me (so far) has been the scene where Leona’s being kidnapped. Historically, Leona has not been a character that I like (excluding that one time I had to pretend to like him for a game). I feel like he’s one massive missed opportunity (he didn’t show up much in chapter 2, he’s pretty similar backstory-wise to his Disney counterpart compared to the other Dorm Leaders, he didn’t seem to learn anything or become a better person even a LITTLE after chapter 2, etc.). I’m not a fan of his lazy and arrogant attitude either (even if it is justified by his backstory). But here? THIS IS THE LEONA I ACTUALLY LIKE AND WANT TO SEE MORE OF. 

LIKE????? I CAN’T DESCRIBE TO YOU HOW MUCH I LIKE THIS SCENE???? Yeah, we have Leona fighting STYX at first, but as soon as he realizes who they are, he wises up and surrenders because he knows better than to resist arrest. AND NOT ONLY THAT, but he uses King’s Roar in a smart way--to turn the falling greenhouse glass panes into sand so they don’t hurt anyone nearby (namely him and Ruggie).

And after he turns himself in????? LEONA TELLS RUGGIE TO TAKE CARE OF SAVANACLAW FOR HIM!!! THIS is what a real leader would do. He looks after himself and his people, but he knows when to surrender, AND he leaves his “kingdom” (the dorm) in good hands while he’s away. THIS is the Leona I want to see.

AJBDUASHPFBUABFIABIYFBIPFAAFIAF I ALSO REALLY LIKE HIS SASS WHEN HE JUST THROWS HIS HANDS UP AND ASDBIASBIABAIODDAYOFAIPPADAIDB SAYS “I’ll go with you, but be careful while escorting me, okay? Despite my looks, I'm a precious prince. I’ll get sick/dizzy if you drive recklessly.” SARCASTIC SASSY SMARTASS??????? IF YOU HAD MORE LINES LIKE THIS, I’D LIKE YOU MORE

I love how Azul’s still talking about capitalism/how he can profit from Idia (apparently the Shrouds are like the TWST equivalent of Google??????) as he’s being escorted away by the agents?????? IF I WERE HIM, I’D BE PISSED OFF THAT THEY INTERRUPTED MY BOARD GAME????? At least let the man finish first--

Damn, everyone’s being tasered???????? And apparently all the STYX agents are equipped with anti-magic plates? I guess Bind the Heart can just eat shit then--

Lilia’s ringtone is cute, period.

CROWLEY CALLED STYX TO CAPTURE GRIM???? GRIM IS OFFICIALLY A SCP THAT NEEDS TO BE CONTAINED????

WAIT WHAT CROWLEY’S BEING KIDNAPPED TOO??????? Oh well, the school is probably safer in Trein’s hands anyway--

askhlbfbilhidbabbidasb RIDDLE WAKES UP POST KIDNAPPING AND HE’S USING LEONA AS A LAP PILLOW?????!

How does it feel to be held in a room against your will, Jamil? Yeah, don’t like a taste of your own medicine, do you?

OH HI IDIA, NICE YZMA MAD SCIENTIST GETUP YOU GOT THERE

Wait, what????? THAT’S IT?????? SERIOUSLY???????

MAN.

I have so many questions??????? Specifically about STYX and what they do, and how the Shrouds are tied into all of it.

So they say STYX is a specialized unit called in to quell serious Overblot cases. And if Crowley called them to deal with Grim... well, bad times ahead for Grim. STYX has also been studying Overblot for a long time, which is why (I think?) they captured Riddle, Leona, Azul, Jamil, and Vil. 

There’s been some allusions made between Grim and Stitch in a lot of fan art and fan theories I’ve seen, since their struggles have some parallels: that being them struggling to decide if they are “good” or “bad”. I don’t know if this was intentional on the part of the TWST writing team, but regardless, it’s a really good concept that plays into the themes of TWST itself. There’s no good, there’s no evil, no black and white--most of the characters we see may be BASED on villains, but that doesn’t MAKE them villains. They are good, and bad, in their own ways--and now Grim is dealing with that crisis as he fights to keep his sanity and avoid completely succumbing to Overblot.

Though Idia seems to be involved with STYX’s research, it doesn’t sound like he personally gave the order to retrieve those test subjects (or at the very least, he’s not happy about roughing up the test subjects), it sounds like the orders came from other people in the organization. His parents, perhaps?

They mention briefly that Idia’s parents are asking him to “come home”, so it must be for something urgent. Are they worried about his safety? But Idia’s lines at the end of chapter 5 lead me to think he is estranged from his family, since he straight up rejected a job offer linked to them (Olympus Corp is owned by the Jupiter family, and the Shrouds are a branch family of Jupier), and says something like “I’m not welcome anywhere”. Has Idia done something to disgrace him from the rest of the family? Or is it more of a self imposed/self inflicted statement, given that he always says he’s “cursed” and acts like he’s guilty of something that deserves scorn?

Why is Idia participating in STYX research, even if it means experimenting on his fellow students (and fellow board game enthusiast Azul)? People are speculating that he wants to use blots to fully revive Ortho (if dead Ortho theory is true), or that Idia actually has heroic intentions (he wants to know more about blots to prevent OBing from happening?), but at this point??? Literally anything could happen?!

In future parts, I’m guessing Pomefiore, MC, and Adeuce will team up to break Jamil and the Dorm Leaders (except Malleus, Malleus got left out again www) out? And HOPEFULLY we get to see Rook’s Unique Magic or at least more screen time, since I feel like he got so little in chapter 5... Another thing I’d like to see is Ace and/or Epel getting their Unique Magic, or at least starting to develop it. It’s really mostly Ace I want more details for.

A theory I’ve been holding onto for a long time is that Deuce getting his UM will spur Ace on to become jealous (since he has always seen Deuce as an idiot/”lesser” than him), and that will cause a rift in the friendship, or for Ace to throw himself into a dangerous situation to prove himself (he has done it before with Riddle)... and has his ass rescued again. This would make Ace even angrier, since he feels like everyone is treating him like a little kid or rubbing it in that he isn’t “as good” as they are. I don’t know where it would go from there (I’m sure TWST would get creative), but ultimately it would culminate in Ace making amends with everyone and rushing in to save them from either Grim or Idia OB.

I don’t think Ace would discover his UM in a similar manner as Deuce (Deuce had to embrace his own stubbornness and straightforwardness, but as the term “Unique” Magic implies, the way a magic develops and manifests is “unique” to the user). While Deuce has to learn to accept his own way of thinking, I believe Ace is already sure of his own way of thinking and has totally accepted it. I think what Ace has to deal with instead is coming to terms with his fickleness. We’ve seen him time and time again treating his loved ones kind of callously, from constantly bullying MC, Grim, and Deuce to ghosting his own girlfriend and flaking on people when they are counting on him to do a task.

The issue with Ace isn’t that he isn’t aware, it’s that he is aware and he seems to think this behavior is totally okay. He demonstrates little to no remorse in what he does and says, and he doesn’t seem to care about the consequences either (how many times does he get punished by Riddle, yet he keeps doing the same dumb things over and over?). Ace appears to operate under the mindset of always being in the right, or (if he’s in the wrong), he won’t really acknowledge it, or he will wave it off as “no big deal”--and I think that’s his greatest weakness.

In the scenario I described earlier, I mentioned that Ace’s jealousy will cause a wedge between him and his friends, and I think this will play into him realizing the error of his ways. When he has finally driven away all of the people that supported him, what will he have left? Nothing. Then maybe Ace suddenly finds himself relating to Idia, or to Grim, who have Overblotted and are in a similar emotional state as he is. Confused and lonely... and that energizes him to pitch in again, even if all he has is wind magic up his sleeve. Everyone could be shocked that Ace has returned, and in that moment, he could finally realize his true potential and unlock his Unique Magic!

(Maybe that’s too specific, but that’s a scenario that I’ve had playing in my head for a long time!)

... Buuuuut given that Ace has gotten little to no spotlight so far in chapter 6, I’m not sure if they’ll lean into him developing his UM yet (unless they pull a chapter 5 and really start addressing Ace in the latter half of the chapter like they did with Deuce). Seeing as chapter 6 is dealing with a lot of heavy topics (death, Grim lore, Overblot lore), I’m thinking maybe the TWST team will push off Ace’s UM development to chapter 7???? The only way I can see it happening in chapter 6 is if the chapter is SUPER long, or if the writing is REALLY good or really bad. 

Anyway, I’m keeping my fingers crossed!!! I’m so excited for the rest of chapter 6... I hope that we don’t have to wait too long for it!

[4stars-uswnt]

Nothing to Worry About [Christen Press x Reader]

my first imagine/fic! got bored during quarantine so this is what i did with my time. any feedback is welcome! (also lemme know if i should write more) :))

Christen’s eyebrows furrow, as she watches you walk down the aisle of the bus, stopping to sit next to Alex Morgan, one of your best friends, instead of your usual spot next to her. Distracted by your absence, she doesn’t notice Tobin plop down in your spot.

“Where’s (Y/N)?” Tobin interrupts her friend’s thoughts. Christen gives no response, still looking in your direction, wanting your attention.

“Chris?”

Finally pulled out of her daze, Christen turns to her best friend, confusion and annoyance welled up in her eyes.

“She’s sitting with Alex.” She mumbles.

Tobin lets out a hum, sensing her friend’s disappointment. “I wouldn’t worry about it too much. (Y/N) probably just wanted to rant to her about Kelley’s antics last night.” Tobin shrugs it off and puts her headphones in, chilling before the game.

But Christen couldn’t just let this go. Her and (Y/N) had been bus buddies for as long as she could remember. Sparing another glance at you, she noticed you weren’t even talking to Alex, instead only listening to music. She racked her brain for anything that she could’ve done wrong but came up with nothing.

Once again, Christen was pulled out of her daydream by Tobin tapping her shoulder, indicating they had arrived at the stadium. Christen looks over towards where you had been sitting, hoping to see you still there, but the seat was empty. Were you avoiding her?

—————

Music fills the locker room, as the USWNT prepares for their Olympic qualifying match against England. Everyone was focused on their pregame rituals, Alex with her pink pre-wrap and Ali with her high bun, but Christen couldn’t focus, not when you wouldn’t even look at her.

On the other side of the room, you are just finishing tying your cleats and go to put your headphones back on. Tobin, whose locker is right next to yours, notices your leg bouncing up and down and your hands fidgeting with the hem of your jersey.

“Hey (Y/N), you alright?”

Barely hearing Tobin over your music, you turn to her and give her a nod, but not without nervously biting your lip. Returning to your music, you space out with your legs continuing to bounce and your hands still fidgeting.

Tobin takes the time to watch you, and thinks back to your behavior this morning on the bus. Maybe Christen did have something to be worried about.

—————

The game is in full swing, England roughly playing with tackle after tackle, trying to get revenge for the World Cup. Megan, Tobin, and (Y/N) had started on top, meaning Christen now sits next to Alex on the bench.

Christen watches as you play a diagonal ball out wide to Tobin, who then dribbles down the side line, faking more than a couple of England defenders out before sending a cross in the air towards Julie.

The entire bench watches as Julie Ertz does what Julie Ertz does best, as she heads the ball down away from the goalie and into the corner. The bench leaps up in cheers, as the usual celebration erupts from the crowd and the USWNT themselves.

As the ball moves back towards center field and the teams take their positions, the bench settles down, and Alex notices that Christen, who is usually one to be clapping and smiling when they score, is still sitting down with a slight frown.

“Press!” Alex hoping to get a reaction from the other forward. “We scored!”  

Christen watches as Alex takes her seat next to her. She knows Alex is one of (Y/N)’s closest friends and probably knows what’s up with her. After a moment of internal conflict of whether she should pry and ask Alex or just wait to talk to (Y/N) herself, Christen lets out a sigh.

“Al?”

Alex turns to the other forward.

“Can I ask you a question?” Christen asks hesitantly.

Alex nods. “Sure. What’s up?”

“Has (Y/N) said anything to you? I mean she’s been acting distant all day, and I’m just worried that I might’ve done something wrong, but I don’t really know what to do, and I just want to make sure that I—”

Alex interrupts her. “Christen. You’re rambling.” Christen’s cheeks flush, as she looks down at her lap.

“Sorry,” She mumbles, “I just don’t know what’s wrong, and you’re her best friend…” She trails off.

Alex gives her an apologetic look. “Don’t worry about it, Press. But if it makes you feel better, she hasn’t said anything to me all day either, except for the occasional nod or shake of the head.”

Christen lets out a huff of frustration. What is going on with you?

Noticing the other forward’s mood, Alex tells her, “You have nothing to worry about. She’s probably just really nervous. This match is a big one for her, you know with England and all, but she’s also starting, and it’s one of her first times playing for Vlatko. Just talk to her about it.” Alex encourages, giving the older woman a reassuring smile.

Christen nods, trying to calm herself down. “You’re right. She’s probably just nervous. She always gets like that before big matches.”

As she continues to watch the green eyed forward, Alex hopes that she’s right, for Christen’s sake.

—————

The locker room is once again filled with Pinoe’s music, as the USWNT celebrates their 1-0 win against England, Julie’s lone goal putting them ahead. Most of the team is up and dancing, led by Crystal and Sonnett, and some of the youngsters are playing charades with Kelley, but (Y/N) is still sitting at her locker, lost in her own head.

Christen takes in a deep breath, finally deciding to confront you about what’s been bothering you. She sits in Tobin’s locker next to you.

“Hey.” She gives you a soft smile.

“Hi.”

“Are you okay?” She puts her hand on your knee to stop it from bouncing. With that, you look at her for the first time today.

“Mhmm.” You give her a slight nod. Christen looks at you skeptically, not believing you.

“Are you sure? Because you’ve been distant all day. And I thought it was just because you were nervous for the match but you’re still acting a little off, and you’re fidgeting so I just wanted to make sure—”

“Will you go on a date with me?” You blurt out, interrupting Christen’s little ramble.

And with just your luck, your outburst comes right as the song ends, leaving the locker room quiet, so the rest of the team could hear your voice. The whole room turns towards where you and Christen are sitting. Even Vlatko turns his attention to two of his best forwards.

You feel your cheeks warm. Christen’s eyes widen, looking more confused than she did before. Trying to keep this conversation as private as possible, although there was no point, as the entire team is now listening to what you both have to say, Christen leans towards you.

“What did you say?”

You close your eyes and take a deep breath. “I said, will you go on a date with me?”

Christen lets out a little chuckle of amusement, as her eyes sparkle and her smile widens. She cups your cheek and pulls you in for a quick kiss. You happily accept her lips against yours, smiling into the kiss. Quickly pulled out of the bliss, you realize Christen still hasn’t answered your question.

“So is that a yes?”

You hear a couple of laughs from the team and a loud snort, which is no doubt from Kelley. You ignore your teammates, no matter how much you adore them, and focus on the woman in front of you, awaiting her answer.

Christen observes you, noticing the eagerness and nervousness written across your face. She gives you a smile, one that is only reserved for you, giggling at how adorable you are.

“(Y/N/N), you do know that we’re married?”

With that, the USWNT explodes with laughs and smiles, amused by your behavior. By now, you’re sure your whole face is red, as you turn to hide your face in your wife’s neck, giving a slight nod to answer her question.

Christen gives you a quick kiss to your temple.

“Is that what you’ve been nervous about all day, babe?”

You bring your face out of her neck, and smile sheepishly. “Maybe…”

Christen bites her cheek, attempting to hide her smile at her wife’s actions. “I love you.” She kisses you. “So much.” She whispers against your lips.

Before you get lost and melt in your wife’s kisses, you pull away.

“So is that a yes?”

She rolls her eyes lovingly at you and places a kiss on the top of your nose.

“Pick me up at 8.” Christen gets up from her seat and heads towards the bus. Looking back at you, she smirks, “And don’t be late.” She throws you a wink, leaving you sitting in your locker, with a lovestruck grin on your face, ignoring the teasing from the rest of your teammates.

—————

The next day at breakfast, as you’re up at the buffet getting food for both you and your wife, Alex sets her plate down across from Christen. Just as she’s about to take a bite of her fruit bowl, Alex spots a hickey peeking out from the older forward’s sweatshirt. Alex gives her a knowing smirk, as Christen blushes.

“I told you you had nothing to worry about.”

[colorseeingchick]

hi enya! i’d like to request the self ship date for your 200 event!! congratulations again 💞

right now i’m currently in love with murasakibara 🥴 i really like him because well he’s just so cool even though he’s “lazy” and the fact that he snacks a lot is cute and also relatable because i feel like i’m always snacking as well. plus his determination is admirable even though he always whines about being tired, which is also relatable. and he’s just so pretty!!! agh maybe it’s the long hair or maybe his height but he’s just so pretty i cant 🧎‍♀️💞

as for myself, we both know you know me pretty well 😌 but for some hobbies, i dance, i can cook & bake i’m just to lazy to or don’t have the stuff for it, i love to read romance manga, i like roller skating, and of course watching anime/moves/tv shows!!

Meg have mercy on this monstrosity I've created. This is the DEFINITION of carried away.

Premise: You had plans with your friends to hang out, but last minute they had to cancel. When you walk out to the main hall of the dorms, you find Murasakibara snacking on some food and watching TV. You were the manager of Yosen, so you considered Murasakibara a good friend, even though you two hadn’t really hung out without other people around. When he asks you why you look down, you tell him that your schedule was now (undesirably) empty. He has a solution.

“Why don’t we do something?” He pauses the rustle of his hand rummaging through the chips.

You look up at him from your spot on the floor (you’d been lounging around in your pjs, a large stuffed animal acting as a pillow as you sprawled out on the ground). “Like what?” You weren’t used to Murasakibara asking to do things, especially not with you.

“We can go, get food? Or something.” he wouldn’t look you in the eyes, but you didn’t care too much. A huge smile crossed your face as you jumped up, quickly shuffling towards Murasakibara on your knees, opting not to stand. His eyes go wide as he sees you approaching him.

“Really! Will you really go with me?” You look at him, leaning against the couch he sat on.

“Yes. I already said I would.”

“Ahhh, you’re the best, Mu-kun!” You leap up, wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders (you can barely get them around to his back), before running off to get changed. “I’ll go get ready quickly! I’ll be back!”

You didn’t see the way his face erupted pink- but don’t worry. There was time for you to see later.

You throw on a pink crop top covered in tiny cows and a pair of ripped jeans- if you were going out, might as well look a bit cute, you think to yourself.

Stepping out into the hallway, you’re shocked to find Murasakibara...trying? With his appearance? He had a decent sense of style, you knew, but he usually just defaulted to a graphic shirt and joggers. Finding him a black fitted shirt with ripped jeans and chains of his own was surprising, but very welcomed. He had one of his huge zip up jackets on, though.

“Murasakibara, you look so good!” You cheer at him. Running to him and grabbing his hand, you tug him (well, try to) out the door. “I’m hungry, let’s go.” While slow, he followed you, internally noting how small your hands were in comparison to his. “I’m driving.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know. Don’t crash us.” He teases as he reclines your passenger seat as far back as possible.

“Ah, excuse you-” you nudge him. “Where should we get food from?”

He stares at you, looking at your features illuminated by the street lights. You’d already started driving, but who knows where to. “Wherever you want.”

You ended up driving to your favorite restaurant in the area, a diner with food on the cheaper end with great quality. It was comfy. As you and Murasakibara sit down, you’re greeted by a young male waiter who takes an obvious interest in you.

Actually, uh. Well, it’s obvious to Murasakibara. Not so much to you.

“How are ya doin’ tonight?” His flirting wasn’t obvious per say, but Murasakibara sees the way he looks at you. The waiter manages to ignore the death glare that was sent his way, though. After you both order your food, you noticed Murasakibara’s pout and glare.

“Hey are you okay?” You ask him, unsure of what had unsettled him.

“Just hungry.” he waves your concern off. “...so, how was your day?”

You assumed he was trying to avoid the work of carrying the bulk of conversation, which was pretty in character, so you happily chatted away, telling him about the stupid things that happened when you went shopping in the morning and when you got your nails redone.

When your food came about, you thanked your waiter when you noticed a pin on his shirt.

“Oh my gosh, is that a Red Riot pin!?”

“It is! Are you a My Hero fan?”

As you expressed your love of Kirishima, you were surprised when the waiter seemingly abruptly excused himself.

“...I wonder what that was about.”

“Mm. eet was ooddh” Murasakibara responds, mouth stuffed. His demeanor was relaxed, but had you turned around moments earlier you’d have seen that his eyes were screaming murder.

After eating your shares of food and talking about random things, you were ready for the check.

“I’m paying for you.” Murasakibara says.

“You don’t have to, Murasakibara-kun!” You’re quick to respond.

“I’m paying.”

“No.”

“I’m paying.”

“Are you sure?”

The waiter walks up to you both, hands clasped and a nervous look on his face. “So, are we doin’ a split bill or-”

“I’m paying.” Murasakibara says to the waiter.

“Got it. He’s paying.”

“Hey, I’m serious you really didn’t have to! That’s not fair is it?”

“You always buy me snacks and things. Lemme pay for you this time.” His tired eyes gaze up at you, something unspoken lingering behind them.

“Fineee, but I’m paying next time, okay?” He smiles at that, so you’ll take it as a yes.

~~

Driving back to the dorms, a sign catches your eyes.

“Oh my gosh, they’re open!” You cut your previous train of thought short.

“Ehh? What is?” Murasakibara turns to you, curiosity heavy in his voice.

“The new roller rink! I love roller skating I’ve wanted to go for so long. Can we go?” The question slips out of your mouth before you realized you’d asked it.

Murasakibara just stares at you from the passenger seat in silence. “What a pain.”

“Wait, really?”

“Go before I change my mind,” his tone was whiny as he stared out the window, resting his chin on his hand propped up on the car door. You let out a delighted squeal as you drive to the rink.

~~

“I’ll be sitting here.” Once you two enter the rink, Murasakibara sits on the side immediately. It takes a lot of pleading and tugging on his arm to get him to come with you.

After getting the skates (and the people behind the counter struggling to find a pair in the back big enough for Murasakibara), the two of you entered the rink. In your excitement, you glide through the rink, going fast in a circle and smiling wide. It’s only once you come around that you realize Murasakibara hasn’t moved. He’s still by the side of the wall, holding on.

“What’s wrong?”

“...” the blank stare on his face and the irritation rising on the corner of his lips said everything.

“You don’t know how to skate, do you.” You hit it on the head. His pout exaggerates as he tries to slide forward, losing his balance at even the smallest movement.

“I promise it’s not that hard, I can teach you!” you’re grateful that the rink was empty except for you two, the 3 workers, and some other teens who were minding their own business on the other side.

He listens to your instruction, moving away from the wall, and glides forward three times before slamming onto the ground.

“Ahh, are you okay?” you reached out to help him up. You’d seem him slam to the ground harder in games, but the concern was real nonetheless.

But he just waves you off and manages to stand on his own. This process repeats for a couple more times, with each passing time Murasakibara getting better and better.

“You’re such a fast learner! It took me a while to learn.” He wouldn’t say anything but he glowed from your praise. All that being said, he was still slow to move. You didn’t mind taking the initiative and grabbing his hand, holding it as you got him to skate with you. Admittedly, it gave you butterflies (you’d wanted to hold his hand properly for such a long time, instead of just tugging him in a direction before letting go). His hands are giant compared to yours. ou could barely even see your hands while he held it, except for your bright pink nails. But he held your hand tight the entire time, quietly keeping his balance. As you two started to go faster and faster, you gained good momentum till Murasakibara miscalculated on a turn and ended up falling. Unfortunately (or fortunately) for you, his hold on your hand hadn’t let up.

“AH!” You fall back onto the giant man who met the grounds only moments before you do.

“Shit, are you okay?” It’s his turn to ask you. When you burst out laughing, he lets go of his baited breath quietly.

“That was so fun!”

“Are you...hurt though?” Showing concern is hard, he thinks. It’s hard to do without his face burning up.

As you say “I’m fine, you cushioned my fall,” you both notice you’re still on top of Murasakibara, your chest pressed against his stomach. Out of shyness you shuffle away, hurrying to your feet. “We should get going,” you remark, trying to get out of the rink. But not without falling onto your face.

“Oi- Meggie-chin!” That sounded like it hurt.

By the way you sputtered and shook your head, he could tell it shook you a bit. He was able to help you get back on your feet and roll you to your shoes (he really did learn fast).

“Let’s go home. I’m hungry.”

“There’s a convenience store next door! Let’s go get some snacks!~” You seemed unphased by your fall at the thought of more food, running out the door to the store.

Yeah, it was no surprise Murasakibara was down bad for you. What more could he have wanted than a girl who loves food the way he does?

~~~

The store was illuminated with neon lights, the isles neatly organized. As Murasakibara snagged snacks off every wall, you were checking out the dairy product isle.

He comes up beside you, noticing the way you shivered.

“What’s wrong?”

“I can’t decide what type of ice cream to buy. Or if I want ice cream at all. It’s so cold in here! But what if it’s hot back in the dorms and I’ll want ice cream then?” You pause to think. “Ah! I can’t decide.”

Your sight is blinded when a warm fabric falls over your head. “Take my jacket. Then decide.”

As you pull the jacket off your head, you pull it over your arms. It was giant on you. The ends came down to your mid thigh and the sleeves consumed your arms. But it smelled of his cologne and was so warm. Blushing at the fact your crush gave you his JACKET, you happily grab 2 cartons of ice cream in celebration. As you walk up to the register, you see Murasakibara with 2 cartons of strawberry milk.

“I know you like them. We can drink them back at the dorms.” You never recalled telling him you liked strawberry milk, even though you did drink them quite often. But you didn’t take him for the kind to notice that.

~~~

“I had a lot of fun, Murasakibara-kun.” You smile as you both walk back into the dorms. “We should do that again. Maybe. But only if you want to!”

“I wanna watch that show.”

“Huh?” You didn’t know what he was talking about.

“My Hero. You were talking about it earlier. I haven’t had time to watch it, so if you wanna watch it with me you can. I guess.”

Your crush asked you to watch tv with him? Big dub!

“I’d love to! Just let me know when, okay?”

“Next Friday?”

~~

Jumping onto your bed, you squeal into your pillow as you process the fun hangout you had with your crush. You hadn’t really been on your phone much, so you finally decide to check it.

“New message from: Enya-chi” : swiping on the notification, you see-

IASIUDHFOSIJDF MEG UR GOING ON A DATE WITH MURASAKIBARA!?!?!?! GET IT GIRL ;)

Unsure of how she knew and it being called a date, you videocall her.

“MEG oh my God how was it!” “Wait wait wait Enya what do you mean “date?”

She looks at you in shock. “Bro, I was with Kise, Aomine, and all them when Kise got a call from Mu-kun and he said he asked you on a date and wanted advice. What do you MEAN you don’t KNOW what I mean by date!!?? Ma’am!!!!!”

As you think back on everything that happened throughout the day, the implications of it being more than a hangout started to settle on you. Your face burned a bright red.

“Earth to MEGGG~ oh my God did he really not tell you it was a date?” She dissolves into hysterics.

"No!!!???? He just asked to hang out!"

“Meggie-chi he’s an idiot! He was supposed to tell you. He probably forgot okay?” Kise’s voice cuts through as he jumps onto the screen.

“He didn’t forget he definitely just didn’t have the nerves-” Aomine’s voice can be heard in the background.

“So when’s the next date~” Kise and Enya wait expectantly for your answer.

Oh my God.

Let’s do this again.

“Oh my I asked him out again, and he said next Friday.”

“I think you’ll be seeing him sooner than that though. You have to return that jacket you’re wearing.” Enya giggles, a broad smile on her face.

At the realization you still had it on, you hang up, too overwhelmed to talk.

This was about to get interesting.

---------------------

Funnily enough this only took like an hour total. But yeah i'm crazy I'm sorry you're friends with a crazy girl meg

[cristalknife]

Kadam Week 2021 Day 5 ~ Been There, Done That, Lemme Be...

This is me trying to not start something on a platform only to post solely somewhere else aka AO3 and ff.net  you can find the complete list of Kadam Week 2021 prompts and you might find more stories on the Kadam Week 2021 AO3 collection

That said, today prompt is April Fools Day While I'm not 100% sure on this story hitting the mark, it has at least some of the prompt's elements, revolving around April fools and one of the two options, namely both Kurt and Adam hating pranking... so here we go, I present to you Been There, Done That, Lemme Be... (Or how a joke between Adam and Kurt became a new Nyada's yearly tradition.) (or read on ao3)

Adam didn't mind the differences between his home country and the states that much, not on most days at least.

April first though was the exception, usually Americans' tendencies to go overboard were amusing, but he could admit that in the past few years being on this side of the pond made him look back fondly and longingly to how things were back home.

For one, back in England, the tradition of pranking lasted only till noon, which made only half of a terrible terrible day, and easier to avoid.

But here in America, the whole day was game, and Adam didn't like how easily pranks escalated.

The fact he never had fond memories of the practice didn't help much either.

It was only by a lucky chance, that the previous years, April first fell on days when it was completely ok for him to call in sick or disappear without any suspicions.

While he blessed such coincidence at the time, it was something he somehow regretted now. Because he was unsure on how to broach the subject with Kurt, nor how it would be received.

Simply disappearing for twenty four hours without a warning, was not something he could do to his boyfriend, not when he knew said boyfriend was capable of worrying over the smaller things...

He wasn't that comfortable raising the issue, but it was something they needed to tackle together.

Adam didn't want April fools traditions to be something they got upset about and potentially snap at each other over mere ignorance.

It so wasn't the kind of talk he wanted to have, but clear communication was the key and so a talk they would have.

Without knowing it yet Kurt was facing a similar dilemma.

He never had the chance to walk away from April first, so the possibility had never ever even crossed his mind, especially since in his experience it had always been one more day where it was just more of the same…

Probably with a more cruel edge to the ‘pranks’ done to him, since apparently the date gave permission even to the kinder people to just disregard anything he might feel...

So all in all it was just one more day in his usual life.

The main exhibit example of the escalated condoned cruelty of April fools had been their outside furniture being nailed to the roof...

Everyone simply laughed it out, while his dad had to have the roof repaid adding more expenses to the list of bills to pay...

In a way Kurt had always tried to appear unaffected and bored by the repetitiveness of the jokes and pranks sent his personal way.

The substance in question might have changed during the years and the occasion, but the prank itself had stayed the same. The over unoriginal and completely lacking any creative inventive of trowing a balloon or a container filled with one of the many possibly disgusting choices.

So nothing new compared to the daily slushie facial he got in high school.

In the lucky years when he was younger, it was just chalk powder and or dirt, then the boys hit their fascination for the disgusting and the pee balloons, the slimes and eggs appeared.

The seemingly most innocuous one had been a natural blueberries smoothie… That managed to destroy a complete outfit with stains that never came out.

But now that he was at Nyada, despite having found out how surprisingly similar college was to high school, he had slightly higher hopes for this year.

If the others students were as busy as he was, then hopefully there wouldn't be any time for the traditional pranks.

At least not on school ground, and since some of his professors had been grumpy dragons on Valentine's day, by simply seeing the exchange of flowers and chocolates in the hallways, to the point that the message that not such foolishness and disruption would be tolerated in their classrooms, became the daily mantra. Made Kurt held a tiny candle of hope that he might get through that day unscathed this year.

The only uncertainty came from Adam and the rest of their friends...

The Apples were a playful and excitable bunch on a normal day, though he was pretty sure that any kind of mischief from them would be geared more toward being funny than malicious.

And despite not having known them that long, he was sure that if he asked them to ease up, they all would make everything stop immediately.

But the whole idea of the day was still making him a little anxious, with all his bad experiences, while he was always the one neither amused nor laughing, everyone else seemed to find his situation pretty amusing...

With Blaine he basically never had to worry, his ex was always too needy of being the centre of attention that never bothered to follow any kind of traditions if it didn't benefit him...

And Adam was nothing like Blaine... Which made Kurt all the more worried he'd end up flip out and explode at his boyfriend, over something insignificantly small and harmless.

But it was also exactly the reason why in the end, Kurt shouldn't have been as surprised as he actually was, in receiving a text from Adam on that subject, simply saying 'Can we please talk about April first’s expectations?'

Despite the calm 'Sure, I'll be there in half an hour unless there're troubles with the subway. See you soon xxx' Adam got from Kurt, his nerves were not as calm or collected.

Hopefully Kurt wouldn't be too disappointed. Adam knew there could be pranks not meant to hurt, but he had seen too many backfire to be comfortable with the whole principle.

His uneasiness got gladly interrupted by the doorbell announcing Kurt's arrival.

"Hellu darling" Adam greeted with a smile, he was happy to see his boyfriend even if he wasn't too thrilled about the topic they were about to discuss.

To Adam's surprise and joy Kurt hugged him and pressed a light kiss on his lips before saying "Hi there"

Adam smiled back and pointed to the kitchen where the kettle was on the stove “Tea before we talk?”

Kurt chuckled but nodded following Adam “Such a British offer, I’ll take a cup of what you’re having, thanks.”

Adam chuckled a little himself. It was more a personal preference than a real national trait, he knew quite a few fellow Brits who couldn’t even stand tea, but it was a gesture still common enough that the saying hadn’t died out yet.

Once they both sat at the table with their cup in front of them, Kurt was the first to start their talk "About April fools, is there any chance we might skip the practice altogether? I'm not overly fond of pranks and if we could avoid their cruelty I'd really appreciate it."

Adam sighed relieved then smiled nodding grateful "Believe me darling, if only it was feasible I would have tackled this year's April fools like usual, namely skipping the day altogether. It is the one day a year I miss not being back in England."

Kurt tilted his head curiously and asked "How so? And by that I mean why would you miss England on that specific day?"

Adam grinned at the quick correction, apparently Kurt had already figured out to ask clearly for things he wanted to know.

He knew it was maybe a slightly petty exercise to force on his boyfriend, but it did have the advantage of promoting and teaching how to communicate better, which was a good thing for the both of them.

"It's not like the pranks were better, if that's what you're wondering, but there is the tradition that pranks should happen only until noon and if someone pranks after noon then he is the April fool... A tradition that translating in having to hide only half day instead of the whole day..."

Kurt considered it for a moment then nodded "You know, I never thought of that solution, mainly because in my experience it wouldn't matter anyway, the only real difference on April fools compared to any other day was that more people laughed when something happened..."

Adam frowned and took another sip of his cooling tea, to refrain from offering once more to burn to ashes the kind of place that would allow such things to happen on daily basis...

“I wish we could just pass through a token space, get our stamp of been there, done that, lemme be and then be free for the rest of the day. That would be a relief if only possible.”

Adam’s outburst was more on a joking note, however Kurt was looking pretty lost in thoughts, humming softly before asking “But what if we had such place, let’s say like a table on the cafeteria with an April first menu, and at the end a pin and the request that anyone wearing a pin to be left alone...”

Adam listened interested and wondered reasoning aloud “You know, if we take this idea to the Deans we might actually get the faculty behind it and have at least the school day free of worries. It would be something… I know I’d appreciate that...”

Kurt looked up, panic evident in both his voice and eyes “Wait, you mean it isn’t safe? I thought that with the majority of the faculty acting like grumpy dragons with a toothache no one would dare... Or that at least we’d all be too busy for that?”

Adam snorted and shook his head “Oh Darling, there’re times I forget you’re still a sweet innocent wide eyed freshie... On the contrary, the odds are beyond scary... But if we get the faculty behind that then we might make it happen… And believe me, most professors would love to wear such a pin for the day and delight in enforcing the safe space.”

Kurt pouted a little at Adam’s description, but in a way he knew he was, eyes were still full of wonder for the school, despite the nasty discovery about it being so similar to high school.

But he had to defend himself so he quipped playfully “So, oh wise and jaded senior, what is your take on the idea, think we can pull that off instead and get the whole school an almost prank free zone?”

Adam pondered the question a little and asked back instead “But what could we put on the menu? I can only think of a couple of tea brews that taste like something else, one like chocolate and another like coffee”

Kurt grinned getting excited “What about variations of the theme of the meatloaf cupcakes different combination of meat patty with coloured mashed potato piped on it to seem like frosting with cherry tomatoes or parmesan on top of them as decorations.”

Adam hummed interested, “Talking of cheese it could be fun to have as opposed to those the sweet grilled cheese sandwiches, where you use pound cake instead of bread”

Kurt chuckled looking mischievously “Do you think we can manage to ask the cooks to also add apples’ fries?”

Adam snorted and playfully pointed a finger at Kurt in a mocking scolding before tutting “Cheeky aren’t we? You really want everyone to know who did it with such a signature?”

Kurt laughed carefree, almost to the point of tears “As if the gossips in our school wouldn’t have passed that information through the whole theatre social circles grapevine way before lessons start on April first...”

What had started as a half joke, in front of two cups of tea, shared by a couple who didn’t care for malicious and cruel pranks, was found by the faculty as an intriguing alternative, to a day of growling and shouting at college students acting like kindergartens.

On April first the students found at the front door the announcement that complementary ‘Been There, Done That, Lemme Be, NYADA 12-13’ pins were distributed in the cafeteria for everyone wanting a pranks free day on school grounds. Any student reported or found by the faculty, pranking someone wearing the pin would be reported to their Major’s Dean for appropriate support (read additional remedial homework) for having been unable to read and understand one of the many big announcement’s signs present on the front door and in the main halls all around their school...

In the cafeteria there were multiple choices on how to earn one’s pin. Including, but not limited to, try out one of the alumni kindly sponsored ‘surprise’ food, which for safety reasons were all properly showing the list of contained ingredients.

Officially speaking the Nyada’s faculty took the credit for the event and for the prank free April fools during the AY 2012-13.

The grocery bag containing apples, a pack of sugar, ground cinnamon and an unsigned card with just the words ‘Thank You’, found in the Auditorium 2 the next day, told Kurt and Adam that someone knew exactly who was behind it.

And from the confused faces of their Apples it was not someone from their group. ~The End~

[dragoler]

Embrace the Void - An Optimistic Outlook

This is a theory post about Hollow Knight and contains spoilers, so if you haven’t completed the game you should probably not read this post. This was originally posted to Reddit but i’m putting a copy here too. It is my belief that the Embrace the Void ending does not spell doom for Hallownest as is often believed, and here I want to present the evidence as to why. Much of this information will be common knowledge, but I've included it to support my greater point.

Firstly I want to establish that the Shade Lord (or Bill if you're so inclined) is indeed the Knight and not a dormant god or amalgamation. The ancient civilization that predates Hallownest is said to have worshiped no god, instead worshiping the void itself, taken from Lemm's comments on the Void Idol:

Inspired or mad, those ancient bugs. They devoted their worship to no lord, or power, or strength, but to the very darkness itself.

Lemm is not the most reliable of source, but this is supported by the Abyss statue that holds the void bowl when the Knight dream nails it before acquiring the Void Heart:

...Void... Power... Without unity...

Void here is considered a power, but without unity void becomes nothing more than a writhing pool of liquid with some very interesting properties. Now, I have seen it argued that void has a mind of it's own due to some of these properties, but the game actively tells us that it does not. The original description for the Hall of Gods reward statue depicting the Embrace the Void form used to read ‘Void Given Mind’, but ‘Mind’ was quickly changed to ‘Focus’ in a patch. This makes it clear that Team Cherry wants to avoid the association of void having a mind, at least when it comes to an ‘untarnished’ entity. So what causes that weird mind-like behavior? Well, lets talk about what it naturally does first. Void is naturally adverse to light, this is evidenced by a lore tablet found in the king's void workshop:

VOID, yours is the power opposed.

The king is a being of light, so it makes sense for him to consider it opposed to him. It is also evidenced by the lighthouse in the Abyss being used to suppress the void sea, preventing it from lashing out. Void also consumes soul, evidenced by the apparent need for the lighthouse keeper to be kept supplied with the stuff (though most bugs cannot utilize it for spells, if a bug were to become low on soul this may be a way to top up without the use of a hot spring), but also naturally shown by the Knight's capabilities (this could also be attributed to their status as a higher being) and how the shade cloak consumes soul projectiles that pass through it. The soul totems built by the civilization who worshiped the void are another possible avenue of evidence, they were likely constructed from void in its solid form and are used to contain soul. As soul is said to be found in the air, it's possible these totems would be able to extract it as well. From the Deep Focus charm description:

Naturally formed within a crystal over a long period. Draws in SOUL from the surrounding air.

Going back to the Abyss lighthouse, the strongest piece of evidence for the void having its own mind comes from the lighthouse keeper's dream nail dialogue:

...Turn it off?... Cannot...

My King. I'm sorry... The sea calls...

It is apparent that the void had exerted its will over this bug, but here I get into the most important property of void: void is impressionable. Void starts empty but it does not necessarily stay this way, the king used molds to shape void to his will for the creation of the kingsmoulds and wingmoulds, but it can do this organically as well. The most obvious example of this is the Hollow Knight who was "tarnished by an idea instilled", which is strongly hinted to be the bond formed between it and the king. A more extreme example of this exists in the Collector, a seemingly rogue, armourless kingsmould who for whatever reason spent a lot of time around another bug who imprinted upon it. Evidence for this comes from the dream nail dialogue of the husk you find the Love Key on:

Too long... spent together. We become as one...

This is all evidence for void being shaped by others, so what of the lighthouse keeper? Well, this bug was in the unfortunate situation of being right next to an ocean of the stuff. Husks found in proximity to void have void in their eyes, giving evidence that the void manages to get inside of them. Although usually it's just a small amount it is enough to kill them, and in this case, also influence them. Void is opposed to light - void vapor infiltrates the mind - void tells bug to turn the light off.

Okay that was a bit of a tangent but back on topic. After the Knight acquires the Void heart it gains control over the void. Shades no longer attack, tendrils no longer lash out and the Abyss statue changes its dream nail dialogue:

...Lord of Shades...

Furthermore, Bardoon has this to say:

Ohhhmmmm... Tiny thing... It evolves beyond that Wyrm. Such union in a single being. A strength before unseen. Would it too challenge nature? It could perhaps defeat it.

Pretty much everyone agrees that the Wyrm is a god, so if the Knight has truly evolved beyond the Wyrm, that should make it a god at this point as well. Gods in Hollow Knight are not very clear-cut from other bugs, they tend to be more powerful and longer lived, but still remain mortal and vulnerable to the ravages of time (at least when in the physical realm) and physical harm. The Godseekers in particular muddy the water on what can be considered a "god", but even without them there is a contrast in power between the higher beings. Despite not gaining any additional physical prowess, the Knight attaining godhood at this point, particularly as it was already the offspring of higher beings, would not be a far-fetched concept.

So if it is already a god, why did the Godseekers not notice? Because they weren't looking for it. The Godseekers attune through the dream realm by connecting to the minds of bugs, but the Knight is mindless. The Godseekers were only able to find the Hollow Knight because of the Radiance within:

O Gods of Hallownest, graciously thee open the way to this greatest of Pantheons! Thy voices grow closer and thy resonance draws Us ever higher!

Pray will We, Attune will We, until that spark of divine light shines from the deepest darkness!

And still they fear it for its silence:

O bound one, thy silence nearly deafens Us. Foolishly we feared thee, yet only by thine providence shall We find the one We seek. The God sleeping within...

Which is their deepest fear of all, taken from the tuner memory dream nail dialogue:

What gods, to save Us of Our silent mind?

So where am I going with this? Well if the Knight was already a god, then why should its behavior change so dramatically just because it gained a bigger, scarier form? I want to bring attention now to the Dream No More ending. The start of the cutscene that plays during this ending is very similar to the void breaking out of the Godseeker during the Embrace the Void ending, but here it comes from the Black Egg instead. If the scene had cut before showing the void dripping down from the lanterns then anyone would be forgiven for fearing the worst, but it doesn't. After the Black Egg dissolves into void, we see a pool of void disappear from around Hornet, then Hornet wakes up alive and unscathed. Why doesn't it consume her? Because the Knight is in control of it. Later, we see the siblings in the Abyss peacefully returning to their rest, giving us a bitter-sweet ending.

Now to add onto this i'm going to start analyzing the Knight's character. Not much direct characterization is given besides ‘it is empty’, and obviously everyone's Knight is going to act differently depending on how it is played, but there is characterization that can be inferred. Firstly, from what the Knight does regardless of what we want it to do. The Knight always slows to a walk when around Dirtmouth, NPCs and certain sites of significance, I interpret this as it being respectful (interestingly it also slows down around the Radiance statue at the top of Hallownest's Crown, so it seems to understand the religious significance of the site even though it is opposed to the deity). Also in this category are the endings, one of which I've already gone into and i'll get to Embrace the Void and Delicate Flower later. Next would be actions the player can chose to perform, and most players will for gameplay reasons. These include saving Sly, saving Bretta, freeing the grubs and placing the Grey Mourner's delicate flower on her dead lover's grave site. Lastly are choices you get that you don't have to follow and there is no benefit to doing so, these would include giving flowers to other NPCs and sitting beside Quirrel at the Blue Lake, and Marissa at the Pleasure House. The Knight is also a rather aggressive character, but with a few exceptions it only attacks creatures who are infected or insane. The exceptions to this would be if it is attacked first (Hornet, Dung Defender) if it challenges a boss to combat (Mantis Lords), is requested to attack (Nailsmith), it enters a non-lethal dream fight, or the one being attacked really deserved it (Millibelle).

The Knight is not incapable of performing bad actions however. It can leave Zote to die to the Vengefly King (though it cannot kill Zote actively), it can cause Hornet to be trapped with it inside the Black Egg, it can dream nail away passive ghosts and the worst crime of all - it can murder Menderbug! On balance however, the Knight is a generally benevolent character.

I think it's time to address the Vessels in the room, literally - the cutscene you see after completing the Pantheon of the Knight for the first time. This one is strange, it depicts the siblings as though they are alive alongside the Knight and young Hollow Knight before an exchange occurs - the Radiance roars, her light is revealed above, and then the void rises up to meet her. What is odd about this scene is that the Knight can see it without having the Void Heart, but I think I have an explanation for it. When the Knight defeats the Pure Vessel for the first time it becomes attuned with it, by proxy of relation this attunes it with the minds of its other siblings as well. in Godhome, characters attuned within the dream are represented in living form unless they become "gods" while dead, such as the dream warriors and various animated husk bosses. The Knight seeing the siblings together, followed by the void rising up to pursue the Radiance is an indication that they all share a common desire to snuff her out, even when the Knight doesn't have control over them. This can be taken as evidence that the shades are a part of the Shade Lord but I do not think this is the case. As mentioned above, characters attuned to the Godhome enter in best form and none of these siblings are attuned as shades, so they show up in Vessel form (The Hollow Knight presumably shows up in this second form only due to the Knight's attunement with it). Furthermore, no shades show up to assist the Knight in defeating the Radiance at the peak of the Pantheon of Hallownest, meaning the Shade Lord could only be composed of the Knight and the raw void you see rising up during the fight.

So now for the Embrace the Void ending itself. Upon defeating the Radiance we see the Shade Lord descend from above and wrap the Godseeker up in void tendrils, then the scene cuts to her physical body leaking void before the void bursts out of her violently. We cannot know exactly what the entity was doing here, but it's likely that embracing the Godseeker was a means for it to escape into the physical world. The Godseeker does not seem to be afraid of the Shade Lord but rather in awe of it, and there is evidence that despite how devastating its emergence appears, like with Hornet, she survived the ordeal:

Punish this shell, o God of Gods! Blast Our frail, worthless form to ash. We welcome thine fury! Desire beyond desire!

This dialogue is taken from the Godseeker game mode which is set after the Embrace the Void ending, she also thinks this in dream nail dialogue:

We bequeath our all. Our shell. Our mind. We are naught but vassal before thee, o glorious God of Gods!

The Godseekers are a collective hive-mind contained within the body of a single individual. The Godseeker you interact with in Godhome is the lead Godseeker and her shell is her own, so when she refers to ‘Our’ shell she is almost certainly referring to the physical shell they all share. Unless the Godseekers have lost all touch with reality and now only exist within the dream, this indicates that they still have a living body. Although their attitude towards the Knight has shifted... dramatically, they still appear to be perfectly aware of everything that is happening.

After the above mentioned scene we see Hornet watching the infection wither from the Black Egg temple, and then she is startled by the emergence of the Hollow Knight, now free from it's restraints. The Hollow Knight being alive as its own entity serves as further evidence that the Shade Lord is not composed of the siblings shown in the Pantheon of the Knight cutscene, as the young Hollow Knight was a part of that. At the end of this scene, the player gains the Embrace the Void achievement which has the description ‘Ascend the Pantheon of Hallownest and take your place at its peak’. Your place, it is the Knight specifically who is at the peak.

Possible counter points:

You cannot leave Godhome in Godseeker mode, which could be taken as evidence that Hallownest was destroyed. The Knight's physical form has been irreversibly altered, however just like Godseeker their dream form can be different, so they can only exist as the Knight within the dream world now.

Why did the Embrace the Void ending cut away from Godseeker when it did if not to imply something terrible happening? Dramatic effect, uncertainty, possibly you are meant to draw parallels with the Dream No More ending yourself. I'm only here to shed doubt on the Shade Lord being a malevolent entity, not to definitely state that nothing bad will happen.

Why can the Knight bring the Godseeker a delicate flower if not to protect Hallownest from what would emerge? The Knight doesn't know anything about the delicate flowers, as mentioned in dialogue from the White Lady:

There is rare power hidden in those frail petals.

To hold it so close, one must surely be unaware of its nature...

It is my belief that up until this point the Knight had been protected from the flower's power by its ‘holy shell’ born from the White Lady and Pale King. Upon shedding this shell and becoming one with the void, the flower reacts by banishing the Shade Lord along with the Godseeker who still harbors it.

What about the roar of the Shade Lord we hear in the scene after the Pantheon of the Knight? If it hadn't been pointed out to me that this was a roar and not just the noise of the void rising up I wouldn't have even noticed honestly. You have to take information found in the game files with a grain of salt, this can be foreshadowing or the ‘voice’ of void even when not united, though void having a ‘voice’ at all is a rather contradictory idea...

So in conclusion, given what we can extrapolate about the Shade Lord and the nature of the player character, I don't think there is good enough evidence for it to become a malevolent entity within Hallownest. Thank you for reading and please tell me if I've missed anything!

Tl;DR: Bill is the Knight, Bill is a cool guy, please don't be scared of Bill.

[uswnt-owns-this-homo]

What A Time To Be Alive (Lindsey Horan x Reader)

a/n: so I was planning on having this out like a lot sooner, alas, schoolwork wrecked that idea... I got the title idea from a TikTok (Yes I’m very ashamed)... thank you for the prompt!

prompt: hi! could you do either emily sonnet or lindsey horan (doesn't matter which one u pick!) x fem where they're just doing cute stuff together in quarantine? i love your work! :)

It’s only my first week of quarantine and I’m going crazy. Between my insane work schedule, and Lindsey’s tournament, on top of NWSL training, we’ve barely seen each other.  We’ve been focusing on ourselves, staying at our own apartments, which is where I so happen to be. I’ve been staying here, not wanting to disrupt Lindsey’s routine, or to throw her off her game. Which I now greatly regret. As soon as the virus hit, I wanted to bring some things over to Linds’s house, and hang out there, just in case, but avoided asking for fear that it would distract her. She’s been under a lot of stress, with Em’s upcoming move, and the recent SheBelieves Cup. But now I wish I would have sucked it up and asked her. 

I’m getting ready for another day working at home, calling in for some takeout and coffee for breakfast, putting on a sweatshirt of Lindsey’s and pulling my hair into a simple ponytail. I set up my laptop in the living room and grab my phone, planning on calling Lindsey later. I’ve just sat down and opened up my laptop when I hear someone knocking at my door. Damn, this delivery boy deserves a big tip, that was fast. I grab my wallet and start to pull out the money, opening my door, only to be greeted with Lindsey, instead of my takeout.

“Look, I know they’re saying to stay by yourself, isolate, but I’ve missed you these past few weeks and wanted to come see you,”

I drop the money before I launch myself at her, going up on my tiptoes and cupping her face.

“Linds, thank you, so much. We can hang out here, or at yours? I just got takeout and coffee, so we can eat?”

She laughs and nods.

“Yeah, we can chill here, I’ll stay the night maybe?”

I pretend to think for a moment and she slaps my shoulder. I laugh.

“Well, we could do that, or we could go over to yours later, and maybe then we can see Emily during quarantine, that is if you’re cool with me hanging for it?”

She beams and picks me up. She swings me a bit and sets me down, She  clutches at my Thorns sweatshirt and kisses me. Not like a gentle, “I haven’t kissed you in forever” type kiss. No, this is a full on “How can you get what I need so easily” type gig. I grin and wrap my arms over her shoulders, feeling the muscle underneath near perfect skin. 

“Now I see why the firm wanted you, Y/N, you’re a freakin’ genius!”

“God, I missed you,”

I scoff and blush, taking her hand and pulling her to the couch.

“Okay, you sit here, I’ll make you a latte, or whatever it is, and you can just sit here and look good,”

She nods and grabs the remote while I go to make her a coffee. The doorbell rings right as I’m finishing it up, and I quickly walk to see Lindsey thanking the delivery boy, and paying him, my money still on the floor.

“Linds, I know I did not just see you pay that delivery boy,”

She grins and bends down to grab the money off the floor, handing to me and taking her coffee.

“Okay, then you definitely didn’t just see that, right?”

We make our way to the couch and divvy up the food, slowly drinking our coffee and talking about what has been going on. We finish and I grab her arm, pulling her down to where we’re laying on the couch, her big spooning me while I grab my laptop.

“Okay, so I technically have work today, but I only have one conference, so I’ll just work here until I have to get ready for that?”

She nods and gets a Netflix movie up and running, turning the volume down low enough to avoid distracting me. I slowly but surely make my way through the mountains of emails and work, letting out a sigh when I see that I need to start getting dressed for a client conference. Linds sits up and I smile, kissing her gently on the cheek.

“Okay, this should take half an hour, maybe an hour at max, and then I can get a bag together for you and Emily’s?”

She grins and gives me a kiss, nodding her head and going back to her movie.

“Yeah, babe, no problem, I’ll just hang,”

I smile and go to start doing my makeup and to put on my dress shirt, not bothering in nice pants, leaving me in just my boxers. I walk through the living room, making sure Linds sees me before I quickly make an iced coffee.  I go to my set up in the kitchen, making sure I have all my files and everything that I need.

A call should only last up to an hour. So, why did this one run close to 2? I groan as the stubborn client finally hangs up the call. Linds comes up behind me and gently rubs my shoulders, laughing when I sigh.

“I swear, you’d think they’d treat me better if they want me to take their case,”

She gently pulls me around, placing her hands at my waist and gently swaying, my head tucked under her chin and my arms up around her shoulders.

“Well, they obviously don’t know how awesome you are, or how cool, or pretty, or caring, or a whole lot of other mush that is definitely going to be used as blackmail later,”

I chuckle and detach myself, shaking out my stiff muscles and heading towards my room. I make quick work of packing, putting in a week's worth of shirts, pants, and some slip on shoes, as well as a couple dress shirts, and one pair of god forsaken dress slacks. I get some necessities and also grab the switch, looking at Lindsey, who’s taken perch on my bed, scrolling through her phone.

“Right, this quarantine, I’m getting you back on the switch, no if’s, and’s, or but’s. It’s happening, and I don’t care about the vow you have to the team. We’re playing the new Animal Crossing or else,”

She just looks up and shrugs. I finish gathering everything and throw it into my duffle, grabbing my keys and pulling Lindsey with me into the kitchen.

“You and Em have bad coffee, so I’m taking that, and then I thought I could stop at the store and grab some baking stuff, maybe some paints, or something?”

“Yeah, sounds good b. Em is going to the store later though, so we can either ask her or have her get that stuff,”

I nod and we walk down to the car, hauling my laptop and work bag. I put my stuff in my car and Lindsey gets in her car. I wave and get in the driver’s seat.

The quarantine with Emily and Lindsey is going great. We’ve painted… everything. We got a hold of Emily’s shoes, and painted them Orlando colors, kind of as a final send off for her move. We painted some clothes, and the best one yet. Emily’s face. She fell asleep first one night, and we couldn’t resist. We (Lindsey) painted her up as a clown… She was not a happy camper when it wouldn’t come off, leaving her with huge red splotches on her face. 

Today is Bake Day. Emily and I have been trying to get Linds to play smash bros with us, to no avail. So, we’ve compromised. Today Lindsey and I are going to bake, while Emily stays away from the kitchen (to this day we still don’t talk about the Thorns Cook Off Fiasco), and then tomorrow we will have the mario bros switch tournament of the ages.  I double check the cookie recipe before getting out the flour, sugar, and other things that we need.

“Ah, shoot, Linds, the butter is supposed to be softened,”

Emily bursts into the kitchen, laughing maniacally. 

“I read somewhere that if you put butter under your armpits, It will heat it up to room temperature!”

She swipes the butter before we can stop her, thankfully doesn’t take it out of the wrapper, and shoves both sticks under her arms. I groan, go to the fridge, grab a beer, and push her gently.

“Okay, you’re definitely going to leave, get tipsy, and for the love of preath, put the butter down,”

She continues to laugh, but does as I say. She slowly unearths the butter, squeezing it and whooping.

“Ha! It did soften! So I was right. I think I deserve a ‘oh thanks Sonny, how kind’ don’tcha think?”

I roll my eyes, shove the beer into her hands, and take the butter. She walks off into the living room and I turn to Lindsey, who has a look on her face, her nose scrunched up, eyes watery.

“Hey, you know she’ll be back to terrorize us at every chance she gets.. This isn’t going to change much, except maybe there will be less pit butter around,”

She laughs, coming and giving me a hug.

“God, how do you always know what I need to hear?”

I smile.

“Well… you have kind of a really expressive face, and I’ve known you for years,” 

We quickly set about mixing all the ingredients, everything going well until I go to put the eggs in, only to be hit with a huge handful of flour. I slowly turn to look at Linds, who’s grin drops.

“Wait, lemme get this straight, I mean, not straight, cause I’m not, you know what I mean, you just threw flour at me?”

I hear her whisper a “oh fuck” before she sprints for the living room.

“Sonnett, you grab her or so help me!”

I hear rustling and struggling and grin widely as I carry the bag of flour into the living room where Emily has Lindsey pinned to the floor, dodging her flailing limbs.

“Son, you don’t understand! She’s gonna get me, oh god,”

I cackle, upending the whole bag of flour over them as Emily’s eyes widen.

“Y/N, DO NOT.. THIS IS CARPET!”

I just shrug.

“Looks like payback’s a bitch, isn’t that right Linds?”

She coughs and nods. I grin.

“Okay, I’m going to go finish the cookies, you two can sweep, right?”

Sonnett looks ready to argue, but Lindsey just nods.

“Yes, babe. Of course, babe,”

I laugh.

“Come on, I’ll help, then we can finish them,”

   We make quick work of cleaning up the flour before I stop dead.

“Linds, I forgot to add the flour to the cookies before I dumped it,”

Emily bellows with laughter.

“Looks like we’ve got two options… floor flour, or weird flourless cookies, nice Y/N,”

So it turns out that floor flour cookies aren’t that bad. The three of us (Lindsey and I, plus Emily playing her switch in the kitchen) ended up scraping together enough of the flour to complete the cookies. I grab one as I tug Lindsey down onto the couch, handing her a cookie and kissing her cheek.

“Okay, next step is Animal Crossing, Mama needs crazy shells Linds,”

We sit there for a few hours, losing track of time as Lindsey drapes her arm over my shoulders, our legs entangled.

“This bastard! I cast that pole perfectly, the dumb fish,”

Lindsey took over for me a couple hours in. We’re fueled by coffee and cookies.

“Hey, Linds, when’s the last time we heard from Sonny?”

She just shrugs and keeps playing. I look at the clock and see that it’s 4:45.

“Hey babe, it’s like almost 5, we should probably go to bed,”

She sighs but shuts down the game, handing me the switch and giving me a peck on the cheek.

“I don’t even know where I am babe, this is why the switch is bad… we lost like 4 hours,”

I laugh.

“I’m sure you’ll be saying that when the little animals sing to you… I’m not tired yet, you wanna paint Sonnett’s face again?”

I’m pretty sure the whole apartment complex can hear her screaming to the mirror the next morning, trying to scrub the clown makeup off for the second time… The rest of the quarantine is going to be good, I can just feel it.

[rise-above-the-grave]

beware stained glass shards

for @dekusmynamecryingsmygame​. you said angst was fine, so uhhhh have some mf-ing erasermic angst I guess. please note that a) I am brand new to this fandom and am still figuring out headcanons and characterizations. hopefully I didn’t screw anything up too bad in that regard...but if I did, please at least be gentle in your critique :’)... b) I wrote this in...about 4 hours, all completely after midnight. it’s not gonna be my best work :/ but I did my best! and I wanted to get this up asap so you could see and read it sooner rather than later.

tw for: canon-typical injuries, hospitals (and everything that goes along with hospitals like doctors, nurses, surgeries, etc.), some implied (it’s only implied!! and it’s super duper uber vague) nsfw stuff, and an off-screen (debatable; maybe-it-was, maybe-it-wasn’t) suicide attempt. (was it a suicide attempt or a villain attack? I don’t even know myself! - at least not yet. read it however you wanna read it. I purposefully leave it open for interpretation.)

and if you don’t wanna read it because of that even potential suicide attempt, lemme know and I’ll write you something else, Peachy... alkdsjflkjdsf unfortunately I have a bad case of “I didn’t think this through” after midnight, and I didn’t even think of that possibility until I was basically done writing it. at that point I was like “It’s 5:30 and I need to sleep, I might as well post this on the off chance they do want to read it...” if you don’t wanna read it tho lemme know and again, I’ll write ya something else tomorrow <3

----------------

He falls.

There is lightning, there is thunder, there is rain—and for an instant (a second, a heartbeat, a breath), he is a swallow, a sparrow, a falcon. He flies with invisible wings, the air is caught beneath him and above him and before him, the world spreads out into infinity below the raindrops hanging suspended in the air. The lightning gilds his dark hair in quicksilver, the thunder that follows an instant later shakes his bones, and the rain that drives him to the earth soaks his clothes into a second skin.

He falls, the asphalt of the alley that runs beneath the comet of his body rising nearer and nearer in a rapid sequence that he thinks, distantly, should be alarming.

I should be afraid, he thinks.

This is going to hurt, he thinks.

Hizashi—

And then there is pain, and there is fear, and there is darkness gilt by lightning, silence shrouded by thunder, blood watered by rain.

---

Yamada Hizashi is 22, desperate, and dangerous.

He is older than he thought he would ever be. When he was young, he had imagined himself living to the infinite age of 50. He would look at himself in the mirror hanging in the bathroom, fingers combing through hair he imagined going silver, palms smearing smooth skin he imagined going wrinkled and weather worn. He would pluck at the band t-shirts he’d wear under too-hot, too-heavy jackets with fidgety hands, wondering what he’d wear then.

I’m gonna be a hero! he’d told his moms, and when they laughed and hugged him and told him, You’re going to be the best hero there is!, he believed himself immortal, invincible, inevitable.

And he was. He was immortal, invincible, inevitable. He could be hurt, he could be beaten, he could be knocked down. But no matter what—no matter the pain, the struggle, the difficulty—he healed, and he fought until he was victorious, and he stood back up. No one could keep him down. No one could diminish him. No one could threaten his impenetrable view of the future.

And then—and then Oboro. And it had all crashed down around him, like so many shards of shattered stained glass.

With Oboro goes his heart. His future. His eternity. He is taught, with the sharpness of stone, with the heaviness of rubble, with the choking taste of dust, that death lurks in the most innocent of shadows, that pain waits in the wings of the theater, that certainty is a lodestone chained around your neck.

Nothing is certain. Not everything can heal. No one is invincible.

He stops thinking he’ll live to 50.

He stops thinking he’ll live past 20.

“Fuck you,” he spat, and Shouta flinched as if he’d been struck, the Happy birthday that had been on his lips dying a silent, painful death. “Fuck everything.” Without warning—without even fully processing what he intended to do; he just hurt, and he needed something, someone, to hurt with him—Hizashi threw his tumbler against the wall behind the bar. The shelf the tumbler hit broke, and a cascade of bottles and liquor crashed to the floor in so many shard of glass and fragments of dreams and spreading rivers of blood.

There was a shout, and then Hizashi felt Tensei’s and Nemuri’s hands on his shoulders, heard Shouta’s voice sounding unusually placating and apologetic as he spoke to the bartender who had rushed over.

“Get him out of here,” Shouta snapped a few seconds later, turning and looking straight at him with death in his eyes. For an instant, Hizashi almost felt guilty. Then Tensei and Nemuri were dragging him away from the counter, away from the gathering crowd, away from the bar.

“Idiot,” Tensei muttered as Hizashi listed against him in the alley behind the bar, all at once too drunk and too sober to function.

“Idiot,” Nemuri sighed, guiding him into the cab, buckling the seatbelt across his chest and waist and then letting him collapse against her shoulder.

“Idiot,” Shouta hissed at him as he undressed him and shoved him unkindly into bed.

He stops thinking he’ll live—and so he stops caring. He drinks too much. Eats too little. Throws himself into his work with a single-minded mania.

His relationship with Shouta suffers. They grate, like two broken ends of a once-whole bone, the nerve that is Oboro’s death still laid bare between them. Shouta can’t sleep without Hizashi in his bed; Hizashi can’t sleep unless he’s alone. Hizashi drinks to drown his memories, his emotions, his pain; Shouta tries to starve his out. They argue about it, until Shouta erases Hizashi’s quirk and Hizashi throws a punch—about Shouta’s energy pouches, about Hizashi’s whiskey. About the lights Hizashi wants to leave on at night. About the socks on the floor inside the door. About the uncapped toothpaste left by the bathroom sink. About the half-eaten takeout sitting in the fridge. About the nights Shouta will disappear without warning, without a trace. About—

Hizashi wonders if it is his fault the day Shouta walks out, slamming the door behind him.

Shouta doesn’t come back.

Hizashi drinks more. Eats less. Works harder. Does anything, anything to distract himself from the event horizon opening inside his chest.

I’ve lost my best friend, he thinks, curled up alone and unable to sleep in a bed that had once held two.

For the first time in years, he wishes someone was sleeping beside him.

It is dangerous. He knows this—knows the risks, knows that the rewards are negligible compared to the ruin it could bring him. His career is on the line. His future hangs by a thread.

Hizashi doesn’t care.

He isn’t going to live past 21 anyway.

Only a few of his partners know who he is. Those that do keep silent. It is never wise to paint a target on your back, and Hizashi makes it clear that he doesn’t want a relationship, isn’t looking for a connection—that there is no reason for them to think there is anything between them but drunken carnality.

He learns fast how to duck cameras—and how to attract them. He learns how to avoid reporters, except when he wants to talk. He learns how to sidetrack paparazzi with glamour shots. He finds he is good at this game of chess, of Russian Roulette, of cards built into fragile palaces. He is good with people, good with crowds, good with playing the symphony’s strings.

I’d make a damn good villain, he thinks one night before he drifts off to sleep, a cute blond whose name he can’t remember already asleep beside him.

And then he thinks of Shouta—of Eraserhead—and the guilt he’d swallowed eight months before, when Shouta had walked out and left nothing but empty shadows where he’d been, threatens to choke him. He barely makes it to the bathroom before he vomits, bile tasting of too-much alcohol and too-little food, of regret and shame.

What am I doing? he thinks, leaning his forehead against cool porcelain.

“Are you okay?” the cute blond asks. He stands in the door to the bathroom and looks down at Hizashi with concern in his pale eyes.

“Get out,” Hizashi says, not looking up.

“But—”

“Just—just go.” And then, softly, voice breaking halfway through the only syllable that matters, “Please.”

The cute blond leaves, and Hizashi is left totally, utterly alone.

---

“You’re listed as his emergency contact.”

Hizashi stares at the window overlooking the city and sees nothing but smears of too-bright light against a stormy night. Sees nothing but the unknown caller ID flashing up on his phone screen after its ringing had woken him. Sees nothing but the memory of Shouta’s face just before he’d turned away and stalked out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him.

What had they even been fighting about? Hizashi can’t remember.

“I’ll be right there,” Hizashi says, unsticking his throat just long enough to remember what he’s supposed to say.

The line clicks dead, and Hizashi stumbles blindly out of bed and into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. He throws on a jacket, a pair of boots, a set of headphones. Ties his hair up in a bun to keep it out of his face and, hopefully, dry once he pulls the hood of his jacket over his head.

The trip to the hospital is spent in a haze of emotion, fear, and dread. He can’t parse any of it, though. Can’t understand it, give voice to it, give structure to it. All he knows is that he is feeling, and that he is afraid, and that he is certain that the scythe has finally fallen once again—only once again it hasn’t come to reap his life.

The hospital is bright against the rain-swept night, clean and sharp and stinging. Hizashi feels bad about the mud he tracks in, feels bad about the water he drips on the floor, feels bad about the lingering scent of gel and hairspray that seems to hang around him no matter what shampoo he uses.

He tells them who he is, who he is here to see. The nurse helping him looks at Hizashi with a curious expression that he is too strung out to try to interpret, and then leads him down a maze of white corridors that he knows he will never remember. They stop outside a door in the ICU, and the woman rests a hand on his forearm and says something Hizashi does not hear. Then she opens the door, and Hizashi steps into the room.

Shouta is unconscious on a bed, surrounded by machines. His chest rises and falls with intubated breath, and two IVs are hooked into the backs of his hands. His eyes are closed beneath the purple and black bruising shadowing his face, and Hizashi can just see more bruising peering out above the bandages swathing his chest.

“How—” He chokes, unable to form the words that he needs to say.

“We don’t know,” the nurse says. “He was found in an alley by a couple of drunk college students. We think he fell.”

“Fell?” Hizashi repeats dumbly. “But he never falls.”

The nurse is silent. Whatever she is thinking, she does not share with Hizashi.

For that, Hizashi is grateful.

“Is he going to make it?”

“We don’t know,” the nurse admits. “He has to stabilize before we can use any healing on him. If he survives the night, his prognosis will be good—but it’s a big “if”.” She hesitates, then says, “It’s a good thing you came.”

Hizashi moves to sit in the chair pulled up to Shouta’s bedside and sinks into it. He does not see the nurse watch him with concern—does not hear her pager go off a few minutes later. He does not even notice when she disappears through the door, or when the door clicks shut behind her.

For a long time, Hizashi is silent. There is too much to say—too much he needs to say, too much he wants to say, too much he can’t say. The words sit heavy on his tongue, in his throat, behind his teeth. They are stones in his stomach, glass in his lungs, thorns in his heart.

He opens his mouth. Closes it. Opens it again.

He laughs weakly.

“You always did have a way of leaving me speechless, Sho,” he says at last. His voice is a clap of thunder in the silence of the room.

Hizashi sighs and buries his face in his hands.

“Please wake up,” he whispers through his fingers. “There’s so much I have to tell you. So much you have to know. Like, you have to know that I—I’m sorry. For…for everything.”

He swallows. His throat constricts, and his breath comes in shaky gasps.

“I can’t lose you too,” he says to his palms, because looking at Shouta is too much. His voice is hoarse and barely audible and pleading. “Please, Sho…”

The machines beep. The vents rattle. Shouta’s false breath hisses.

And Shouta doesn’t wake, even when Hizashi begins to cry.

---

Hizashi is asleep when the doctor comes in, just after dawn. He startles awake at the sound of the door closing, blinking blearily and turning his head to stare at the tall, dark man. The doctor smiles at him, and goes to check on Shouta.

He had survived the night. That much, at least, is a relief.

“We still don’t know,” the doctor warns Hizashi. “But we can start to be hopeful.”

They take him away for another surgery. This time, they promise Hizashi, a healer will be involved.

Hizashi stands, stretches, and goes in search of food. He finds the cafeteria, and buys a meager breakfast that smells bad and tastes worse. When he looks at his phone, he sees that he has missed calls from both Tensei and Nemuri. He shuts it off and shoves his phone back into his pocket to deal with later.

He’s going to have to call his agency soon, too, but he has a few minutes until that call is critical.

He spends a quarter of an hour sitting at the hard, plastic table in the cafeteria, staring out of the window at the overcast morning and thinking. He thinks about what he is going to say if—when—Shouta wakes up. He thinks about what he is going to say to Nemuri and Tensei. He thinks about his choices, and about the certainty of death, and about the possibility of life.

He thinks about Oboro, and about Shouta, and about how he lost one and how he might lose the other.

Hizashi stands, shoving his chair back so hard it topples onto the floor with a bang. What few others are in the cafeteria stare at him with varying degrees of irritation and wariness, until he rights the chair and walks away with a casual wave of apology.

He calls Tensei.

Tenya is running around in the background, laughing maniacally, and Tensei is distracted during the call in spite of his concern. He promises to come by the hospital when he can, though, and tells Hizashi to call Nemuri. Hizashi promises he will, and hangs up.

Nemuri is unusually quiet as Hizashi tells her what he knows of what happened, and while he tells her that Shouta is back in surgery. When at last she speaks, she only says, “You were still his emergency contact.” It is not a question. It is barely an observation. More than anything, it is a revelation.

“I guess so,” Hizashi says, cradling the phone between his ear and his shoulder as he feeds a bill into one of the vending machines. His breakfast had been bland, and he wants sugar.

They talk for another few minutes about nothing in particular, and as Hizashi unwraps his candy bar and begins to eat, he is struck with the notion that Nemuri is just trying to distract him. He appreciates it. Before long, though, she hangs up with a quick goodbye, and a promise to come to the hospital after her last patrol.

Hizashi crumples the empty wrapper and tosses it into a trash bin, and wanders his way back toward Shouta’s room.

He calls his agency once he is seated by Shouta’s still-empty bed. He tells them there was a family emergency, and that he will not be able to patrol today. They are surprisingly accepting of his feeble excuses, and Hizashi wonders if someone else had already contacted them. Probably Tensei, he decides. That was always the kind of thing Tensei thought of.

His phone calls made, Hizashi settles uncomfortably into the hard, plastic chair to wait for Shouta to be brought back. He tries not to think. He mostly fails.

He thinks of Shouta. He thinks of Oboro. He thinks of invincibility, and of shattered stained glass, and of birthdays. He thinks of a broken shelf of liquor bottles. He thinks of screaming at Shouta in their apartment, so angry he’s lost control, and of Shouta silencing him with a red-eyed stare. He thinks of broken promises, and broken hopes, and broken dreams.

They bring Shouta back in sometime around noon. He is still unconscious, but he looks a little better than he had the night before. The bruising is lighter—more red and purple than black and purple—and he is breathing on his own. Some of his color has returned as well, though he was never anything but pale.

The nurses leave again, after telling Hizashi things he does not hear, his attention fixed on Shouta to the exclusion of all else. He wonders, vaguely, as he feels them leave the room, if they had figured that out, or if they had just finished telling him what they had to say.

The seconds drag into minutes as Hizashi waits, the minutes into hours. Hizashi sits, stiff and sore, in the chair by Shouta’s bedside, watching his chest move beneath the bandaging, watching his eyes flicker beneath his eyelids. He wonders what Shouta dreams of.

The doctor comes in again. Leaves again. Hizashi ignores him.

Nemuri comes, but does not stay long. She talks, and Hizashi listens with half an hear, saying nothing as she tells him about her day, about her night, about everything but her worry over Shouta. It’s there, though, lurking beneath every strained story, every forced laugh, every brittle word.

Nemuri is older than him and Shouta and Tensei—but, like Tensei, she had found them adrift in the wake of Oboro’s death, and like Tensei she had decided, “These are mine, now.” Hizashi is grateful for it most days.

It is only after Nemuri stands and presses a kiss to Hizashi’s cheek in farewell that he speaks.

“They think he fell,” Hizashi says, not looking anywhere but Shouta’s face. Nemuri freezes.

“But he never falls.”

“I know.”

“Do you think—”

“I don’t know what I think,” Hizashi says, short and sharp. “And neither do you.”

Nemuri hesitates. Then says simply, “Okay.” She leaves without another word.

---

Tensei visits for an hour, and when he leaves he promises to return later in the evening so that Hizashi can run home to shower and change clothes. Hizashi agrees without really knowing what he’s agreeing to.

Night has just well and truly fallen when Shouta’s eyes flicker, then open. He looks around, taking in the lights and the ceiling and walls—and then his eyes fall on Hizashi, and he freezes.

“Hey,” Hizashi says.

Shouta turns his eyes away and stares up at the ceiling.

“Uh,” Hizashi says, feeling suddenly awkward and tongue-tied. “Thanks for leaving me as your emergency contact.”

Shouta grunts. Hizashi wonders if he can even talk right now, or if it’s too painful.

“Look, Sho…” Hizashi grimaces. “Shouta,” he corrects.

Shouta looks at him again, eyes flicking over to his face. Hizashi rubs the back of his neck, and tries to figure out how to say what he wants to say.

“I know this is a bad time,” he says finally. “But I have to say this before the doctors come rushing in, and before you get up the strength to kick me out.” Shouta’s eyes narrow at him, but Hizashi isn’t looking at him anymore—is staring, instead, at the edge of the bed.

“I’m sorry,” he blurts out. “For…” He takes a deep breath. “For everything.”

Shouta looks back at the ceiling, and does not speak.

Hizashi calls the nurses. They come quickly, and Hizashi excuses himself from the room so that they can fuss over Shouta in peace. By the time they are done, Tensei is back, and Hizashi finds himself kicked out of the hospital until he has showered, changed, and eaten a full meal. He agrees to the terms grudgingly, but only because the memory of Shouta not even being willing to look at him is still fresh in his mind.

It haunts him as he showers, as he changes, as he walks to a small take-out restaurant a few blocks from his apartment and places his order. He wonders if he should even go back to the hospital, or if Shouta would prefer it to just be Tensei there.

He almost decides he would.

Tensei calls him just as he’s finishing his dinner, though.

“You on your way back?” he asks.

“Yeah,” Hizashi says, because he can’t quite bring himself to be selfless enough to say no.

---

Shouta is still awake when Hizashi walks into the room again. He looks at Hizashi when he opens the door and steps inside, then looks away again before he can close it. Tensei notices the silent exchange with a pensive look, but says nothing.

“Well,” he says, standing, “I have to go. I’m babysitting Tenya again tomorrow morning, and that little monster drains more out of me than twenty villains.” The soft smile on his lips belies the cutting words, though, and Hizashi knows that Tensei would give the world to his little brother if given the chance.

“Thanks,” Hizashi says, and claims the chair Tensei had just vacated.

Silence fills the room in the wake of Tensei’s departure, heavy and awkward and uncomfortable. Hizashi looks everywhere but at Shouta. Shouta stares at the ceiling.

“I…” Hizashi begins at last, entirely uncertain where he means to go with his next sentence but knowing he can’t bear the silence any longer.

A sigh cuts him off. Then, abruptly, in a ragged voice, Shouta says, “I’m sorry.”

Hizashi finally looks at him, startled. “For what?”

“For…everything,” Shouta says. “For walking out. For not being there for you. For ignoring you when you needed me.”

“Shouta, I…” Hizashi swallows hard. “I dug my own grave. I don’t expect you to dig me out. I never have.”

“Maybe that’s your problem,” Shouta whispers. “Our problem.”

Hizashi frowns. “What happened, Sho?” he asks suddenly. “How did you fall?”

“Someone pushed me,” Shouta says without hesitation. “I didn’t see them until it was too late.”

For the first time in seven years, Hizashi isn’t sure if Shouta is lying.

“Okay.” The word tastes like ash on Hizashi’s tongue, but there is nothing else he can say. Not now, anyway. Not yet.

Maybe not ever.

Shouta is silent again, but it is a different kind of silence. Hizashi waits, knowing he is preparing to say something. At last, after a few heavy moments of pregnant waiting, Shouta says, “Can we start over?”

Hizashi looks at him, surprised. “I’m not sure that’s going to be possible,” he tells Shouta.

“Maybe,” Shouta agrees. “But…try again, then.”

For the first time in over a day, Hizashi smiles. “Yeah,” he says. Then, again, “Yeah. I’d…like that. I’d like that a lot.”

Shouta nods, just a little, against the pillow behind his head. He closes his eyes.

“Will you be here?” he asks, voice already thick with sleep.

“Yeah,” Hizashi says, knowing what he’s asking. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Shouta nods again, eyes still closed, and in seconds his breathing evens out into a soft, sleepy cadence.

Hizashi settles back into his uncomfortable chair, preparing for another long night of half-conscious sleep. It’ll be worth it, though, he thinks. Anything is worth having my best friend back.

And for the first time since the stained glass of his invincibility shattered, Hizashi thinks that maybe, just maybe—if Shouta is at his side—he’ll see his 25th birthday. Maybe even his 30th.

Maybe even his 50th.

[jennifersylvesters]

not so subtle - part five

Pairing: Harrison Osterfield x reader Word Count: 7.2k~ oof Warning: swearing, angst at the end A/N: happy chrimas. it’s criman. merry crisis. merry chrysler. damn i wanted this to come out earlier, but i guess that’s life. i am what people would call, er, swamped. i kept having to push this back because i’ve been busy, but i definitely wanted to get it out before christmas. plz say a prayer for me this holiday season as i work two jobs. just kidding. kinda. hopefully you enjoy! like always, feedback is appreciated/loved aka i want it. please. 

Things were different between you and Harrison now. You were convinced that all these minuscule moments added up and now actually meant something. What happened on Thanksgiving couldn’t have been a fluke. It was a moment.

Naturally you expected Harrison to text or call you. Any form of communication really. But after Thanksgiving nothing came. Despite your eagerness for something to occur, he seemed to be on a completely different wavelength. You told yourself that he wasn’t used to being in relationships, that this was a serious decision he wanted to take slow. Still, you wanted some sort of sign. Send an owl with a note, for fucks sake.

Except a week later, you begun having doubts. While tapping through Instagram stories, your jaw dropped as Harrison featured some random brunette. He was in a club, clearly drunk as he planted a kiss on her cheek. The girl giggled with absolutely no self control as Harrison boisterously cheered about Arsenal winning a game.

He was just having drunk fun. That’s alright. That’s totally fine.

Yet a couple days passed and you still received nothing but radio silence. Your hope was dwindling when you saw Harrison posted a new snap story one night. You quickly clicked on the circle, ignoring the homework scattered on your desk.

The phone screen changed to a video of Harrison lightly snoring with no shirt on. Oof. The screen then panned to a redhead who filmed herself kissing the top of his sleeping head before bursting into a smile. Your gritted your teeth as the next snap was a photo of Harrison sound asleep with heart emojis around his head. It was captioned “look how cute he is” with a heart eyed emoji.

So this was your sign. Reality sunk back in that Harrison was nothing more than a player and that you and Noah definitely misread the signs.

Santa, for this year I’d like a nice, faithful boyfriend. I’d also like to knock out Harrison Osterfield.

With Christmas approaching, you decided to hell with Osterfield. You couldn’t be concerned about a boy who wasn’t even trying to message you. Not that you were checking anymore. No, you needed to follow your original plan of just committing to your studies. And that’s what you did.

Most nights were spent wrapped up in the library or in your room studying, trying to make sure you knew all the material for your upcoming exams. Boys? Unnecessary distractions. Love? It didn’t matter. Did you really need it? No. But did you still want it? Unfortunately. God you felt pathetic.

It was inevitable that you would need to go out eventually, but you avoided it by all means. Why be miserable outside when you could wallow in self pity in the warmth of your apartment? The only time you bothered going out was to buy Christmas presents. While you knew you could order gifts online, you worried about whether the present would arrive before Christmas. No, you needed to brave the stores for this one.  

You headed to a nearby shopping complex on the weekend, trying your best to pick nice yet affordable presents for your family and friends. It wasn’t like you could just ball hard with the measly amount in your bank account. As much as you loved Kimberly, there was no way you could buy her a new KitchenAid mixer like she talked about. You choked when you saw the discounted cost, shaking your head as you briskly walked away. She would just have to settle for a lovely apron instead.

Shuffling around the Target, you knew you neared needing a shopping cart as you attempted to balance multiple items in your arms. Even though you knew better, you still chose to browse the store pretending like your arms weren’t getting sore with the weight of the gifts.

Unable to see in front of you, you collided into someone causing all of your items to spill from your arms. Of course. 

As you scrambled to pick up all your items, the other person quickly apologized and began helping you collect them. Picking up a pack of socks, you looked up to see a familiar face.

It was a boy in your lit course named Steven. Despite being a rather big class, he crossed your mind from time to time. Steven was one of those students who occasionally spoke and surprisingly had something intelligent to add to the conversation. While you didn’t know him well, what you did know was that he was incredibly handsome. It made sense why girls and some guys eyed him; his messy brown hair and crooked grin would make most people swoon.

Steven grabbed a shopping basket nearby, placing the items he grabbed into the basket. You politely thanked him as he handed the shopping bag to you.

“Oh, hey! You’re in my lit class” he noticed before you could walk away. “It’s...It’s Y/N, right?” You nodded, surprised that he remembered you. While you contributed in class from time to time, you only answered when you knew the answer in fear of looking like an idiot. “I’m Steven, by the way.” You nodded your head once more, not wanting to add that you already knew who he was. No way you planned on giving stalker vibes.

“Yeah, I’m just doing Christmas shopping for my family. Kinda struggling with the presents for some of the girls” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. You bit down on your lip as he stretched slightly, causing his shirt to raise and exposing a bit of skin. Lord, please control the thirst.

“Did you want any help?” you offered.

“Oh...Yeah! I mean, if you have time. I don’t wanna bother you or anything” he blushed, shrugging his shoulders in a nonchalant manner.

“No, it’s totally fine. I was just shopping for friends but I’m actually struggling with a couple of gifts for my guy friends.” You omitted how you weren’t sure what to get for a celebrity who had more money in his bank account than you’d probably ever see.

“I can definitely help with that if you want” he suggested. You accepted his offer, and the two of you begun wandering around the store to find the perfect gifts.

The next couple hours was spent scouring the store, helping one another decide what gifts would be best. You laughed at some of his suggestions, especially when he proposed trying on an Elsa dress to see if it was the right size for your cousin. He made you feel relaxed and it felt so easy to joke around with him. Things felt smooth and almost effortless around him. The longer time you spent with him, the more you understood his appeal.

By the time the both of you finished and paid, relief washed over you knowing that all of your Christmas shopping was complete. All you needed to do now was wrap them. Easy enough.

The two of you made your way towards the parking lot, slowing down once he pointed out he would be heading in a different direction than you.

“Hey, listen. This was really solid of you.” He lifted up the bags of goodies and smiled that crooked grin that had people swooning. Ooh. For a second, it got you too. “I probably would’ve messed this whole thing up.”

“It’s really no big deal” you waved off the comment.

“Well, it was to me.” The two of you shared a smile as you rocked back and forth on your heels. The look lingered a little longer than you expected, and you turned away. You didn’t want to be pulled back into another thirst trap. Not today. It wasn’t till he cleared his throat that you turned right back around. Perhaps a little too quickly. Damn it.

“So listen...There’s this white elephant party next Friday that a couple of my friends are throwing. Did you maybe wanna go with me? It’s always really fun, and my friend Toby always does a drunken karaoke performance of Cher - voice and all.” His invitation took you by surprise. You weren’t expecting to get invited to a party, especially seeing the two of you never hung out before now. But how could you say no?

“Yeah, I’d be down for that” you nodded. He smiled that ever popular smile and you felt your heart race. You hadn’t noticed before, but he had the cutest dimples.

“Great. Lemme just give you my number so I can text you the address.”

The two of you exchanged phone numbers, handing each other one another’s phones to speed up the process. As you finished saving your contact information, you heard someone call out your name.

A scowl instantly appeared on your face upon seeing Harrison approaching. Steven noticed as he glanced from you to the Brit.

Harrison raised an eyebrow as he came over, eying the pair of you. “Hey. I thought that was you. Haven’t heard from you in a while” he commented, placing a hand on your arm. Immediately you yanked away. Harrison blinked, pushing his now free hand into his pocket.

“Been busy.” It wasn’t much but it was enough for Harrison to realize that the two of you weren’t on good terms. He sighed, rolling his eyes.

“Ah, yes. So busy. Forgot how you just happen to live life in the fast lane” he sarcastically quipped before shaking his head.

You scowled once more, remembering the videos you saw of him. He had the nerve to act like those weren’t big deals? Not in your house. All you wanted to do was go back to mutually disliking one another. Couldn’t he extend the courtesy and do the same?

“Hi. I’m Steven” your classmate introduced himself to Harrison, extending out a hand.

“Harrison” he responded shaking hands. When they dropped, Steven placed his bags down and threw his arm around your shoulder while Harrison shoved his into his pocket once more.

You weren't really expecting Steven to do that, but the gesture wasn’t unwelcome. So you did your best to relax your shoulders, pretending like your relationship with Steven was more than just acquaintances.

“So how do you and Y/N know one another?” Steven asked leaning closer into you.

“We’re friends.” It was a curt response, causing you to scoff. When had the two of you become friends? If anything, your relationship was one of enemies. Friends? Please.

“Just ‘cause Tom and Emma are dating doesn't mean that we're friends.” The comment visibly irritated Harrison who ran a hand through his hair.

“Is that what you told Noah? Cause even he didn't seem to buy that” he snapped back.

“What does Noah know? He also thought we were d-” you stopped in your tracks, not wanting Harrison to know what Noah thought. The idea would've just make him laugh, suggesting that Noah was totally crazy. Yup, totally crazy.

“Noah thought what?” Harrison asked, clearly vexed about this scenario.

“It's nothing” you dismissed, but he wasn't giving up that easily.

“Noah thought what, Y/N?” he repeated himself.

“It was nothing. Just Noah jumping to conclusions.”

“You and I both know that kid wouldn't say anything without having a strong gut feeling.”

“You don’t know that!”

“Yes, I do! Noah isn’t that type of guy to start any drama” he argued, yanking at his hair once again. He was right, but you didn’t want him to have that satisfaction.

“We don’t know Noah that well.”

“Oh? Who’s th-”

“You know what? Fine. Think that about Noah if you want” Harrison cut Steven off, obviously having no interest in what the other boy planned on asking. Why was he acting like this, ramping up his douchebag attitude with every word? Why did he even bother approaching you in the first place? God, he made you furious. “Are you going to the Christmas party, Y/N?”

“I’ll see you if I see you” you responded coldly, not wanting to deal with Harrison any longer.

“So you’re going” he affirmed. When you didn't respond, he nodded his head. “Good. Should’ve expected it since your best friend’s one of the hosts. Well, I’ll see you there.” Before you could stop him, Harrison pushed Steven off of you. Your classmate stumbled back a bit, and Harrison took this time to quickly peck your cheek before turning on his heels and heading off.

You wiped at your face like a child, wishing he hadn’t done that. Still you couldn’t hide the tinge of pink that lit up on your face.

“What was that dude’s deal?” Steven asked, voice on edge.

“I’m so sorry. I dunno. He’s just my best friend’s boyfriend’s best friend. He just likes giving me a hard time” you explained. Was that all?

“He’s kinda an asshole.” He turned and looked at you before he continued. “No offense.” You didn’t realize your fists clenched upon hearing his insult. Were you getting mad about someone talking shit about Harrison? No, that didn’t seem like you. Of course you and Harrison were enemies. Steven wasn’t wrong. Right?

“Yeah...I guess” you responded, relaxing your hands.

“Hey. Thanks again.” And just like Harrison, he leaned in and kissed you on the cheek causing your face to flush. Oh okay. He grabbed the bags he set down before heading to his car. “See you in lit class” he called over his shoulder.

“See ya” you mumbled to yourself, unsure of what happened.

Harrison seemed to flood your social media feed after that incident. If you looked at Tom’s Instagram story, Harrison was always beside him. When you checked out Emma’s snaps, there was always a glimpse of the dirty blond in the background. He was everywhere. The worst was when he posted photos with different girls, all beautiful and all infatuated with Harrison. Did you expect anything less? In normal circumstances you’d be fuming at how Harrison acted. What kind of narcissistic asshole did that?  

But things had changed. Even though he dominated your feed, it didn’t bother you much. By now Steven managed to creep up and occupy your thoughts and time, pushing Harrison to the side. After your holiday help, he constantly invited you to hang out.

From studying to group hangouts with his friends, you slowly joined Steven’s world. It was as if he brought you to a place you’d never been before. He was kind with you, always asking and praising your opinions. There was an ease to everything about him.

You loved talking with him and felt you could ramble without feeling embarrassed. In turn he trusted you with details about himself. You learned how he was fiercely protective of his younger sister, always intimidating boys who even looked her direction. He told you how he couldn’t stand the taste of kiwis and tomatoes, claiming they were disgusting. Whenever you studied and joked around, he laughed loudly and insisted you were one of the funniest people he ever met.

The more you learned about Steven, the more you wanted to stay a part of his life. It wasn’t just him. Even his friends welcomed you in with open arms. Of course it made sense that a great guy would surround himself with positive and warm friends.

You enjoyed this normalcy of having a regular crush. No worrying about embarrassing him at premieres. No panic about not fitting in due to your status. Simply put, there were no complications. Something about liking a hot guy who had a regular status felt so right.

During the night of the white elephant party, you rushed around the apartment while your roommate and her girlfriend relaxed on the couch.

“Where are you heading off to dressed like that?” Kimberly asked as you snatched up a discarded necklace from the coffee table and put it on.

“I’m dressed normal.” No, you weren’t. You chose your best outfit, something you felt complimented your body well. Content with the necklace choice, you searched for the perfect pair of earrings to complete your overall look.

“You’re dressed very cute. Like overly cute” Kimberly replied, now turning to sit up and watch you. “So where are you going again?”

“I’m going to a white elephant party. Um, Steven invited me.” You hastily scurried to your room to find your favorite hoops, hoping she wouldn’t pry. Of course you knew better.  

“Steven, huh?” Sarah popped her head up from above the couch as well. “Who’s Steven?”

“Just this kid in my lit class” you brushed it off, doing your best to ignore the butterflies in your stomach. You found one hoop and begun searching for its missing pair.

“Just some kid, huh?”

“I mean, he’s cute” you admitted, finding the missing hoop and putting on your earrings.

Sarah and Kimberly said nothing, just sharing smiles with themselves before eying you as you exited your room.

“Stop looking at me like that.” You grabbed the gift you chose for the exchange off the kitchen counter. Hopefully someone would want a half-off hair straightener.

As you entered the living room, Kimberly and Sarah still focused on you.

“So what’s the deal with Steven? You’ve never talked about him before” Kimberly pointed out.

“To be fair, we just recently” - you paused, trying to figure out the right words - “became friends.”

“Ah, okay. Is he a nice kid?”

“Yes, mom. He’s a nice guy” you joked.

“And Harrison?” Sarah questioned.

“What about Osterfield?” you snapped, hands resting on your hips. Just the mention of his name brought you into a foul mood.

“Didn't you guys have that-”

“If Lil Shit wants to play around, I don't care.” The way your voice rose up an octave indicated otherwise. “I'm not gonna be one of his little flings who jumps on his dick whenever he calls.” The two of them exchanged glances. “Not that I would ever be” you added hastily.

“So who cares about his stupid Instagram stories and those really pretty girls? I don't care.” The couple raised their eyebrows in unison.

“I don't!” you insisted. “I'm gonna have a great time without that asshole. In fact, I’m gonna enjoy this party and not even think about Lil Shit. I'm allowed to suck whatever dick I wanna. And you know what? Maybe I will!”

“How very heterosexual of you” Kimberly dryly commented.

“I mean, if that's what your apparently horny heart desires,Y/N, go for it” Sarah shrugged.

“It is” you claimed, convinced that you didn't need Harrison in your life.

Jitters consumed you as your Uber dropped you off at the party. Even though you hung out with his friends, this felt different. It felt like an initiation to prove your worth even though you knew it wasn’t a serious occasion.

Ringing the doorbell, you fidgeted in your clothes. You found yourself second guessing your choices, but there was no turning back now. You could hear music playing throughout the house and it grew louder as someone opened the door.

“Hi. I’m Y/N. Um, Steven invited me?” you nervously introduced yourself to the stranger at the door.

You heard your name being shouted before Steven rushed over to the entrance. “Hey! You made it!” he exclaimed, pulling you in.

He began showing you around the place, introducing you to the friends you hadn’t met along the way. All of them were just as friendly as those you previously met, pulling you in for hugs and acting as if you were an old companion they hadn’t seen in a while.

Slowly you eased into the spirit of the party, finding it almost effortless to have a good time.

It didn’t go unnoticed how Steven kept his arm around your waist the entire night as the two of you stood around. When you were ushered to the couch by one of his friends, he pulled you close by his side.

This familiarity felt so warm and inviting, and you wondered if this was all in your mind or if he felt the same connection. You knew you couldn’t ask at that moment, at least not with the gathering going on. So instead you enjoyed yourself, laughing at the promised yet horrendous Cher performance by the infamous Toby.

After Toby took an elaborate bow, Steven lifted you out of the couch to perform a duet with him. You jokingly groaned, shaking your head. But with everyone cheering you on, you followed his lead to the front where he chose a mystery song claiming it was a classic. As “The Start of Something New” from High School Musical began playing, you burst into laughter. It was a good thing you knew it, playing up the part of an ever so shy Gabriella. Even so, you weren’t prepared for him to take your hand and twirl you around when the two of you sang in unison.

And you realized how fun this was with Steven. There was something about the way he kept holding your hand even after the two of you finished bowing and the way you could feel him watching you. It was simple yet held such significant meaning. At least you hoped it wasn’t just you.

When the party ended, Steven walked you outside where you waited on your ride. The two of you spoke about how finals were going and you laughed as he recalled an amusing event that happened in class a couple days prior.

Your fingers kept bumping into one another and you found yourself wanting him to grab your hand again. But in your mind you wondered: “Am I allowed to want more?” You knew that once you cared too much and it wasn’t reciprocated, you were playing yourself. “Please give me a sign” you prayed as his knuckles gently touched yours.

Steven slowly took your hand in his, intertwining fingers. You looked up at him and the two of you locked eyes. He slowly leaned in towards you, and your eyes fluttered shut at what you knew was coming.

It was a simple kiss, but it was enough to get your heart racing. An attractive boy was actually into you? And actually made a move? It felt like a dream, yet when your eyes opened there was Steven’s green eyes twinkling back at yours.

“I think you’re amazing” he whispered. You heard a car pull up to the curb, but you didn’t want the moment to end. He kissed you once more before finally letting go, allowing you to get in to your Uber.

He wished you a good night, closing the door for you. Once you were a couple blocks away, you realized you had been smiling so wide that your face was sore. So this was happiness? This was what it was like for someone to like you back? Oh, you could get used to that.

This was it. This was what you were waiting for. It wasn’t complicated. There weren’t any heartbreaks involved. It was nothing but pure bliss.

Even with exams around the corner, you obsessed over Steven. The two of you constantly texted one another, allowing you initial plan of being studious to fly out the window. Most days were spent being around him or thinking about him.

You felt bad not inviting him to Tom and Emma’s Christmas party, but he didn’t know about Tom. While you knew Tom wouldn’t mind another friendly face, you weren’t sure how Steven would react. Would he freak out and lose his mind? Or would he spit at Tom and tell him that his Spider-Man sucked? Obviously they were opposite ends of the spectrum reactions, but you didn’t want to deal with the potential chaos. Plus you wanted to keep Steven to yourself for just a bit longer. It was a bit selfish, but you were allowed to be. Right?

Plus one person you knew wouldn’t enjoy seeing Steven’s face.

You hadn’t seen him for a while, which honestly was fine by you. In fact, you hadn’t wanted to see him. After the white elephant party, your totally minor crush from before was long gone. Goodbye old terrible feelings. Hello horny new ones.

That was until the night of Emma and Tom’s party.

You flipped through channels on TV, waiting for Emma to arrive. The plan was for her to pick up and drive you, Kimberly, and Sarah to the party. The doorbell rang prompting you to click off the television before greeting Emma. Your face dropped when you opened the door revealing Harrison on the other side. God fucking damnit.

“Where’s Emma” you questioned, skipping the formalities of greeting him politely. He lost that privilege, especially after the last time you saw him.

“Helping Tom. She asked me to pick you guys up” he explained.

“Are you serious?”

“Yup.” He nodded his head, clearly enjoying the irritated confusion crossing your face. “Looks like I’m your ride. Or your knight in shining armor.”

“More like an idiot who happens to own a car.”

“Eh. Not your best insult.”

“That’s cause I’ve been too busy to perfect my lines.”

“Oh, so that was a line?” his eyebrow quirked up.

“Yeah, a line to have you fuck right off” you instantly responded, afraid he might’ve taken your last quip seriously.

“Aw, you can do better than that, Lil Skunk” he tutted, pretending to be disappointed.

“You don’t deserve my best, Lil Shit.”

“Oh, Harrison’s here” Kimberly piped up from behind you. Glancing back at her room, she called out “Sarah! Harrison’s finally here! Let’s go, babe!”

Why did Kimberly sound so nonchalant about Harrison’s arrival? She should’ve been shocked and outraged by his arrival. Perhaps not outraged but at least a little surprised. “You knew Osterfield was coming to pick us up instead of Ems?”

“‘Course we knew” Sarah revealed as she tugged on her jacket, pulling Kimberly’s door shut.

“And you didn’t tell me?” Your hands snapped to your waist, glaring at the group.

Kimberly shrugged while Sarah just let out a laugh. The trickery of them all.

The group shuffled out of the apartment and into Harrison’s car. As Sarah and Kimberly piled into the back, Sarah pulled the door close before you could follow. Yanking on the car door handle, you shouted for them to let you in, but they deviously shook their heads and pointed for you to sit in the front. Grumbling under your breath, you slid into the passenger seat.

On the car ride to the party, Harrison chatted with you despite your snippy tone and one-word retorts.

“Surprised you didn’t invite one of your ‘special’ friends” you grunted as you avoided his question about how exam were going.

“What’re you talking about?” Shit. You hadn’t expected Harrison to catch that bit. Guess he had better hearing than you thought.

“Those girls. From your stories” you elaborated just barely.

As he slowed down to a red light, he turned and fully looked at you. “Are you jealous?”

“Pfft! No! Why would I?” you sputtered. It was enough for Harrison to know better, know what you actually meant.

“Whatever you say, Lil Skunk.” He turned back to focus on driving, watching you fidget out of the corner of his eye.

When you finally arrived at the party, you hopped out only to get immediately greeted and hugged by Emma. She walked you around the house Tom rented for the night and you gawked at the glamorous sight. Tom spared no expense in decorating every inch of the place with Christmas trees adorned with ornaments and lights twinkling in every room.

The best part of the entire party had to be the open bar. Seeing as you hadn’t enjoyed Halloween’s drinking festivities, you planned on making it up during this party. Initially you ordered a spritzer, unsure if you really wanted to get drunk. Was that doing the most? Spotting all the couples in attendance, all concerns about going overboard went out the window. How in the world did everyone find someone to love them for the holiday season? You regretted not inviting Steven, wishing someone would wrap their arms around you by the fireside.

Strangely enough you found yourself spending most of your time with Harrison. He approached you after your third drink, this time a gin and tonic rather than a spritzer and with a heavy emphasis on the gin. Shoutout to Kenneth the bartender for the major hookup on that.

“What’s that - your fifth drink?” he asked with a cheeky grin.

“It’s my fourth, I’ll have you know” you corrected him, pointing his direction letting the drink slosh out of your cup.

“Ah, yes. Of course. How dumb of me. Sorry I couldn’t figure out how drunk you were.”

“M’not drunk!” you retorted indignantly.

“‘Course you’re not” he sarcastically agreed, sliding down to take a seat next to you.

The two of you proceeded to argue with one another from which drink was best for this party to the greatest video game of all time. Some things he would have agreed with you on, but he found it much more entertaining seeing you get riled up about your passions.

As you later waved your arm out to insist that Tom Hardy was the best Tom in the Marvel universe - Tom Holland included - you accidentally smacked Emma who rushed by.

“Sorry!” you slurred as Harrison took your cup from you so you could hug your best friend without spilling your drink all over her. “Didn’t mean to do that!”

“It’s alright, Y/N. Should’ve been paying attention, but I was kinda looking for someone to grab a couple more candy canes and cider for the party” she explained.

“I can do that!” you volunteered, raising your hand as if you were in class.

“You haven’t got a car” Harrison stifled a laugh.

“Even if you did, you’re not sober” Emma added.

You shook your head and slapped your cheeks. Quick fix. “I’m sober!” you insisted as Harrison laughed and Emma shook her head.

Standing up from the bar, Harrison pulled his keys from out of his pocket. “We can grab those things for you, Em.”

Oh, no. There was no way you were going with him. Shaking your head once more, you stomped your foot in irritation. “No, you go by yourself then. I’m not coming with you.”

“You’d leave me all alone and defenseless?” You bobbed your head up and down in response causing him to laugh again. “I’ll buy you those chocolate candy canes you love so much” he coaxed you. Had you told him your preference in candy canes or did he just remember? You weren’t sure. Still, you liked the idea of having those.

You paused, pretending to mull over the decision. “Fine, but I get shotgun” you announced. Harrison rolled his eyes and nodded. Of course you would get shotgun. Where else would you sit? The back? But in your drunken state you weren’t properly thinking things through.

Emma thanked the pair of you before hurrying off to help with hostess duties. Letting the alcohol consume your actions, you found yourself skipping to his car before jumping in.

“You’re like an Uber driver” you commented to Harrison, giggling at how funny you thought you were.

“Am I now?” he asked as he entertained your idea. He started the car and as he pulled out of the driveway, you nodded your head. “Would you give me a five star rating for driving you around?”

“No, you’d get a one. Get better playlists, Osterfield.” You laughed uncontrollably at the ridiculousness of it all while he laughed at your silliness, obviously enjoying every second of your drunk commentary.

When he parked in the grocery store lot, he helped open your door and watched you carefully as you fumbled out. As he placed a hand behind the small of your back, you found yourself leaning in towards him. Of course it was to steady yourself and nothing more. Of course.

The two of you shuffled around, him pointing out how you would get lost in the store without him as you argued that you could make your way around easily.

Somewhere down the line the bickering felt natural, no malice underneath either of you words. You weren’t sure when or how but now you found fighting with him oddly...Nice. What the fuck?

No, you weren’t going down that road again. You knew better. You reminded yourself that you had someone who cared about you that wasn’t going to toy with your feelings. Not getting played like Boo Boo the Fool this time.

The two of you split up as you insisted that you could find your favorite flavor without his guidance. When you finally found them, you grabbed a couple boxes letting them pile up in your arms. You turned around to find Harrison but instead spotted Steven a couple aisles down.

God, Steven looked so good. With a dark hoodie and a maroon beanie, he looked like a model that it took your breath away. Balancing the boxes in one hand, you were about to raise your free hand when a girl approached him. She wrapped her arms around his waist and he turned her direction. Steven wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in close before kissing her deeply.

Oh.

You sobered up quickly as you watched the scene unfold. As she pulled her head back and smiled up at Steven, he crinkled his nose before kissing her once more.

Oh.

The candy cane boxes tumbled out of your arms and crashed to the ground, yet the couple didn’t notice. The two were too preoccupied with one another’s presence, Steven cupping her face before she said something that made him pepper kisses along her jaw.

Oh.

“Lil Skunk, I found-” Harrison begun but saw you frozen in place and cut his sentence short. His eyes followed your stare to see what you saw. His eyes shut and he took a deep breath. When he opened them, he winced knowing that there was nothing he could really say to you in that moment.

Your heart pounded loudly and you struggled to breath. Your bottom lip trembled, still focused on the sight that was breaking you with every second.

Harrison quickly grabbed your hand, guiding you away from the scene. Still you couldn’t tear your eyes away from Steven and the beautiful girl he now laughed with. Was it the same things you laughed about at the White Elephant party? Or was she funnier than you? Were your jokes lame in comparison to hers? But the biggest question that haunted you the most kept repeating over and over: had that night and that kiss meant nothing to Steven?

It wasn’t until Harrison stepped to your other side, blocking your view of the couple, that you finally stopped staring.

As Harrison went to pay he held your hand in his, glancing at you every so often. Your eyes stared off into space, not focusing on anything in particular as you kept thinking about Steven and the mystery girl. You went through the motions as Harrison opened the car door for you, telling you to get in. He found himself repeating his words, instructing you to buckle your seatbelt until he finally watched you click it in.

The street lights washed over your face yet all you could do was thinking about the scene. As it replayed over in your mind, you felt almost numb. Your eyes glossed over, remembering how he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear before leaning in to kiss you. Had Steven meant it? Or were you the practice round for the real deal?

By the time Harrison parked outside the party, you still weren’t all there. It was as if your mind was preoccupied by the numbness to think of anything else. You could hear him calling your name, a clear concern when he repeated himself a third time. “We’re here. You can unbuckle your seatbelt.” When you didn’t move, he decided to release it for you. It slid off your chest and back into the holder, not phasing you in the slightest.

“I think you’re amazing” Steven’s words echoed in your mind. But do you?

You heard your name called and by the fifth time, you finally turned and looked towards Harrison. “Y/N-” he started, leaning towards you. Why was he looking at you like that? His pained expression only added to your confusion. You turned away, facing towards the window.

“I think you’re amazing.” Then why did you kiss her? Why did you look at her like that? Why were you holding her?

Without any prompt, you begun telling Harrison about the night of the white elephant party. As you spoke, you heard your voice getting heavier with each word. It felt like you were choking out every syllable until finally you couldn’t take anymore, and you finally broke. You burst into tears, sobbing heavily. Why couldn’t he have liked you? Why were you never the one?

So many questions filled your mind and it poured out in tears in response. You weren’t sure when it happened, but Harrison gently wrapped you in his arms, stroking your hair. You sobbed with only the sound of the boy next to you whispering to let it all out. And you did as you were instructed, crying harder and louder until you couldn’t cry anything else.

“I’m so sorry” Harrison murmured as he held you close. “I’m so so sorry.”

Once you exhausted yourself from crying, you felt your eyes growing heavy. You didn’t want to fall asleep, but there was something comforting about Harrison’s arms that you couldn’t help but doze off. All thoughts about the party, the mystery girl, and Steven vanished as your eyes shut.

When you finally opened your eyes, you realized you were no longer in Harrison’s car. Slowly turning your head, you blinked trying your best to wake up from your tired state. You looked up to see Harrison carrying you.

Noticing you stirring in his arms, he looked down and softly smiled at you. “I’m just bringing you back to your apartment, love” he explained. Oh, God. He hadn’t called you by that in a while. There was something about that nickname that always made your heart flutter.

You sighed deeply, resting your head against his chest.

It was strange having him carry you into your apartment with such ease. And yet this kindness was more than welcome.  

Lightly kicking open your door, he placed you down on your bed. Before you could say anything, he begun tucking you in. He murmured that you needed to get rest. The idea was tempting, yet you found yourself trying to get up.

“C’mon, love. Just rest, alright?” he persuaded you to lay back under the covers.

“What about the party? I have to explain things to Emma” you insisted though you didn’t move.

“I already let her know that you weren’t feeling well and that I was taking you home” he explained. How kind of him to cover like that. You wondered how that conversation transpired but knew he would brush it off as no big deal and refuse to explain.

“Just get some rest” his voice encouraged, eyes finally softening as you relaxed into your bed. Right as he was about to leave, you grabbed his hand. He turned and looked at you.

“Am I-” you stopped, nervous to continue your thoughts out loud. But something in Harrison’s warm glance asked you to continue. “Am I just not capable of being loved or something? Like am I just never gonna be someone’s special person?” you choked out, tears starting to form again.

He quickly took a seat next to you. “You are. And you will be” he attempted to reassure you. “That guy-” Harrison paused, brushing his free hand through his hair. “That guy’s a fuckin’ prick. He’s an idiot, Y/N. He has no idea what he’s missing out on.”

“That other girl was so pretty, though. So much prettier than me-”

“Stop it. Don’t do that. Don’t…” he seemed lost for the right words to comfort you.

“I’m probably gonna die alone, and they’re only gonna find me because dogs will be eating my body” you sniffled.

He smiled at that one, grazing a hand on your face to wipe away the tears. “I promise you that won’t happen.” Don’t promise what you can’t keep.

Right as he was about to stand up and leave, you squeezed his hand. You didn’t want him to go. At least not yet. Something about his presence felt comforting and you wished you could just intertwine your fingers with his. Was it okay to want more with Harrison?

“Will you stay? Please?”

Harrison looked startled by your request. After all, no swearing or calling him by his usual nickname? You even added please with no sarcastic tone. Obviously this wasn’t the relationship he was used to. He looked at your door before turning back and nodding his head.

He kicked off his shoes and took off his jacket; the only time he let go of your hand was to take off his coat, but quickly grabbed hold of your hand once more as the jacket hit the ground. You scooted towards the other side of the bed, allowing him space to join you.

“I mean it, Y/N.” You could feel your eyes getting heavy. “I meant everything I said.” It was hard keeping your eyes open even though you wanted nothing more than to keep taking in his features.

His voice murmured for you to sleep, lulling you to rest. You closed your eyes as he told you how strong you were and how you deserved so much better. But who was better?

You felt him gently caress your cheek and kiss your forehead before you finally dozed off.

Soft chirps woke you the next day. Your eyes fluttered open and looked towards the window to see light seeping in. Last night felt like an out of body experience, as if it wasn’t particularly real. Yet you knew there was no denying all the events that occurred.

You turned to see the other side of your bed empty. No Harrison at all. Sitting up you looked at your side desk, hoping to see something. No note. Nothing. You rummaged through your purse to find your phone at ten percent. There were a couple texts from Emma and Tom, but no message from Harrison. You charged your phone before sighing and falling back onto your mattress.

And there was the truth of it all. He could give you false hope, make you think something might’ve been happening, but he never stayed. After all, you weren’t his. To him you were just Lil Skunk, a friend of a friend’s. He could say otherwise, but you both knew better. You were just a pastime, someone to tease until he moved onto better things. He could find prettier girls to occupy his time so why waste it on you? The empty space said it all: Harrison didn’t and wouldn’t ever like you in that sort of way.

Even if Harrison was right about what he said yesterday, not even he stayed for you. Not really.

tags list: @sleepybesson, @tomhaz | @butithasntkilledyouyet, @chims-kookies, @choke-me-sweet-pea, @highladyjel, @sadnoelle, @sleepwalkingdragon, @soccerstud004, @spider-mendes, @thefallenbibliophilequote

part six | part six [clean-ish]

[diyunho]

The Joker x Reader - “The Work Wife” Part 3

You’ve been working for The Joker for the past 10 years: you speak and act for him and no matter the circumstances, Y/N is always there to take care of everything he needs.  The King of Gotham might not be married, yet he has a perfect partner: his work wife.

Part 1      Part 2     (Part 3 as voted HERE)    Part 4     Part 5

5 months later

“Are you just gonna sit there the whole time?” The Joker splashes the water in the Jacuzzi while you look outside, not even hearing his words. “Hey, I’m talking to you!”

“Oh, I’m watching everything to make sure it’s safe,” you finally pay attention and analyze the surrounding buildings from behind the smoky windows belonging to the second floor of “Serenity Day SPA”; it’s one of the businesses J owns, primarily operated for money laundering.  The rooms upstairs are never used by anybody else except him: he seldom visits and actually uses the amenities since the place is very luxurious.  

“We have 15 men with us, I think we’re OK. Come on, lose the suit and relax,” The King of Gotham requests your presence in the hot tub because you seem absent minded today.

“I’m good,” you mumble and continue to search for any signs of suspicious activity out there even if so far nothing seems out of the ordinary.

“You know how much I hate to extend my invitations twice,” he watches you take a deep breath and gaze his way.

“I don’t have anything to wear,” you come up with the easy excuse and J gestures towards the variety of dressers containing bathing suits, swimming shorts, towels and fuzzy robes.

“Use theirs!”

“Ughh,” the exasperation reaches his ears and it’s not approved.

“Maybe one of these days you could just, you know, drop the attitude?! Only a mere suggestion; don’t lemme stop you from annoying me!” The Joker growls as you choose a random attire and start changing behind the panel as fast as you can, hoping he will shut up.

“Don’t lemme stop you from annoying me” speech is usually between 10--15 minutes long and you are certainly lacking any eagerness to put up with it.

“Why do I have to get in there?” you protest his orders and emerge into a floral bikini bottom with the matching bra.

“Because,” J huffs and completely lowers himself in the bubbly water for a few seconds, then gazes your way. “I must say Y/N, you look decent for a fossil.”

“I’m not a fossil!”

“You turned 36 last month. Basically ancient for my scaling system,” J taunts and smooths his wet hair, thinking that the usual extra feistiness is not present within his work wife today. You step in the Jacuzzi, half afloat until you reach his side.

“Your scaling system sucks, that’s why you don’t have a steady girlfriend,” you lift one of your eyebrows in order to underline the accurate reality.

“I only need company that takes care of my needs for the night; you take care of the rest so I’m fine,” he pauses and waits for the sour remarks to continue but they don’t.

You’re awfully quiet, definitely preoccupied by more important matters than the usual dispute he’s searching for.

“What’s the matter?” J elbows a distracted Y/N.

“Today…” and your voice cracks,” today is Kai’s birthday.”

That’s why she’s like this, he thinks and moves closer to you.

“Wow, the first snowflakes,” you sadly smile and change the subject because you feel you’re suffocating.

“Yeah, I like winter,” he adds on the topic in his usual way of dealing with things. “Much easier to get rid of dead bodies.”

“So charming,” you candidly reprimand. “That’s why women are flocking from all sides; one better than the other.”

“Precisely,” the insolent Joker is glad you’re getting absorbed into his little game; it kind of feels a major part of his daily life is missing if you two don’t clash and he’s aware he has to put in extra work today in order to obtain the desired outcome.

“Please enlighten me so I can prove a point:  when is the last time you went on a date?” you turn towards him, interested in what he has to say.

“Ummm… three nights ago,” J immediately replies.

“One night stand is not a date! As usually, I had to get rid of her in the morning and I’m getting tired of taking out the trash,” you scoff, irritated. “You should have kept the girlfriend you had two years ago; she wasn’t bad.”

“I got bored,” he dismisses your suggestion and stretches his legs under water while you have more to include on top of the earlier statement:

“It’s exciting to see you’re satisfied with bimbos that think you have a stamp collection to show them at the penthouse or drunken ones that you marry on a whim at the sham drive-thru chapels around town.”

“Yes, it is exciting indeed,” The Joker winks and Y/N is done with his crap.

“You know what J ?!!”

Oh boy, here she goes! J grins because he’s getting what he wanted:

“You know what J ”speech is usually between 8--14 minutes long and by far his favorite; you usually blur out a list of judgments about his behavior that you don’t agree with and it falls on deaf ears, yet it’s worth it.

“Mister J,” Frost suddenly knocks at the opened door. “Sorry to interrupt but the weather forecast is showing an imminent snow storm about to hit Gotham in less than 3 hours. Traffic will be hectic since everyone would want to finish what they have to do before roads are closed. Would you like to leave now in order to avoid that?”

The Clown Prince of Crime smacks his lips, debating:

“I suppose so,” then addresses you: “Hold that thought, Y/N! You know how much I love to hear your opinions,” the sarcastic smirk makes you shake your head in annoyance. “I guess is better if we bail than having to deal with the craziness on the streets. Tell the crew we’re out of here in 10!”

“Yes sir!”  Frost complies and you discern the shouted instructions on his way downstairs.

“Right when I was getting comfortable,” J sighs and sinks under the fizzy water one last time while you’re already getting out of the Jacuzzi.

“You can continue at the Penthouse,” you remind the King of Gotham he actually has the same hot tub at home.

“I guess I can,” the grouchy voice mumbles.

The Joker watches as you dry yourself with a towel, his eyes lingering on the only tattoo you have: the Japanese kanji rows inked on your back containing the phrase you’ve been using for years as an inside joke.

He stalls leaving the steamy ambience for a few more seconds before finally abandoning his temporary oasis.

You switch back to your black suit behind the bamboo panel and come out to help him finish up. The white, furry winter coat is placed on his shoulders while J elects to modify the plan:

“Y/N, I want to spend some time at my cabin instead of returning to the Penthouse.”

“Are you sure?” you start walking beside him, surprised at his choice. “With the snow storm you’ll be trapped there for days.”

“It’s fine; I’ll have you to keep me company,” J brushes off any projects you might have like he always does.

“I rather stay at my apartment.”

“No, you’re coming.”

“Seriously J, I don’t want to be dragged in the middle of nowhere. I like that place in the summer and that’s pretty much it,” you try to make him forsake his ideas and pay attention to the stairs you’re both descending.

“I’ll let you know when I give a damn,” The Joker scoffs, signaling some of the men waiting along for his passing to follow.

The door leading towards the secluded parking lot on the north side of the building is already opened and you walk outside, mad he doesn’t care you’re not in the mood to visit that accursed cottage during the crazy weather that will soon hit the area.

Two henchmen are already waiting by their cars and you slowly blink for a few seconds, feeling the snowflakes melting on your face. The faint sound of the bullet shrieks by your ear and you instinctively turn towards J, his eyes already looking down at the fresh wound that’s beginning to stain the white coat.

“What the..?!” he touches the blood in disbelief, suddenly out of breath. You are quick to push him against the nearest SUV, screaming at the others:

“Sniper!!! Get down!”

The goons already outside scatter behind the cars in the parking lot and you help The Joker sit on the ground and press on the oozing injury, the red spot exponentially growing each time he forcefully inhales.

“Shit…” he moans and you gesture at the men that didn’t make it out of the building, including Frost.

“Stay inside! There’s a sniper!!”

“What do we do?” Jonny yells and you shout back:

“Everybody regroup inside!! Stay low and sneak out through the other side of the property! Go in groups of 3 and sweep the surrounding places, maybe we can catch whoever did this! Take the rest of the team and call for reinforcements!”

“You need help?” Frost peeks from behind the curtains, ready to aid if required.

“I’m OK, I don’t need an escort!”

You open the car door and help The Joker crawl in the back seat; he’s wheezing louder and louder due to the painful lesion.

“Keep pressure on it!” you gather his coat around the wound as much as you can, this way it soaks up the blood. “I’ll take you to the doctor; just hang in there, alright?” an apparent composed Y/N creeps on the driver’s side, twisting the keys in the contact.

“It fucking hurts,” J groans and his acknowledgment makes your heart beat faster:

The Joker has a high tolerance for pain so if he says that it hurts, it means the discomfort is beyond what a normal person would be able to tolerate.  

“Hang tight!” you begin to drive, keeping close to the concrete wall enclosing the parking lot, watching him through the rear view mirror. “I’ll take the back streets,” you mumble and immediately accelerate, taking a sharp turn once the protection of the wall is over. The tires screech under the abrupt impact and you speed towards Madison Avenue, having to distance yourselves from the shooting range as soon as possible.

“How are you doing?” you gaze at him and the only answer is a growl.

The Joker’s teeth are clenched together; he couldn’t say a word even if he’d wanted to.      

You nervously squeeze the steering wheel, paying attention to the road again.  

“I think I can make it there under 40 minutes,” the affirmation makes him shiver: the pain is becoming so unbearable he feels he’s going to pass out.

Another turn on Coldwell Boulevard and the last thing J hears prior to losing consciousness is Y/N’s warning:

“Hey, don’t fall asleep!”

**************

The Joker gradually opens his eyes, trying to adjust to reality. You’re sleeping in the recliner close to his bed and the venue seems familiar: it’s the same private clinic you were taken after the unfortunate events that left such a deep scar on your cheek. He’s groggy and a bit confused, a typical secondary side effect of all the medications present in his body.

“Nurse…” J whispers and has to gather his strength to say it louder since you didn’t hear him. “Nurse! Wake up!”

This time the exhausted Y/N promptly snaps out of her troubled dreams, gasping when she realizes The King of Gotham is glaring her way.

“You’re awake,” you jump out of the recliner and move close to him, so happy to see he’s out of danger you actually smile.

A rare occurrence these days.

“Why are you wearing scrubs?” J licks his lips and you reach for the cup of iced water on the cupboard, offering some to the patient.

“We’ve been here for 2 days: it’s easier to blend in, just in case,” you explain while waiting for him to finish drinking.

“What’s the verdict?” he taps his fingers on the pillow, seeking your company for the requested briefing. You lie down next to him and relay the main points to the weakened Joker:

“By the time we arrived, you’ve already lost a lot of blood. You had a clean wound: the bullet went right through; almost pierced your kidney, only half an inch away from disaster. They couldn’t stop the bleeding and I was scared you’re not going to make it,” you gulp and touch his face, upset it was such a close call.

“Why? Were you afraid you’ll be unemployed?”

“Basically. You pay well.”

“True,” J utters. “Do we know who did it?”

You remove your hand, the immediate change in attitude making him aware you’re displeased.

“So we do know,” he figures, wondering why you look at him like that.

“Yes.”

Perfect silence; you are flustered, that’s for sure.

“Well?” J yawns, tired and drained.

“Do you remember your last flame? The one I got rid of 5 days ago?”  

No answer. Because he can kind of tell where this is heading.

“Apparently, she didn’t like that you threw her away the next morning so she did something about it. Thank God she can’t aim that well, I’m sure she tried for the head.”

J is speechless since he was expecting a different outcome.

“The Great Joker, taking down by one of his one night stands. How stupid is that?!” you hiss and try to calm down the urge to strangle him.

“That is quite stupid, my reputation would be ruined,” he tries to joke since he knows he’s going to hear about it forever. “Is it fair to assume she’s not around anymore?”

“I made sure,” you frown, scooting closer to him again. “If you were planning to sleep with her again, she’s not available.”

He grabs your waist, loving the bitter expression written all over your being.

“Any other news?” he changes the subject, delighted you’re so worked up.

You cut him some slack for the moment, sharing your observations:

“I think one of the nurses likes you. She keeps on lifting your hospital gown, checking out the area.”

“Probably to see if I need my bandages changed,” J grins, satisfied with the little confession.

“Or maybe checking out your components,” you honestly reply.

“Components!” he chuckles and regrets it the next second: the sore wound is definitely there.

The door opens and you grumble in a low voice:

“That’s her, that’s the nurse.”

“Quickly, fix my hair,” The Joker demands and you comb the green locks with the tip of your fingers. “How do I look?”

“Like crap,” you sigh, unable to repair too much due to the present misfortune.

“Dammit,” he completely covers the both of you with the sheet, shielding the intimacy of the discussion from any prying ears.

“Miss Y/N, it’s not safe to be this close to a recovering patient with a raw injury. There’s the risk of infection. Could you please go back to your recliner?” the woman requests out of concern for the medical staff’s own safety: she knows that if something happens to The Clown Prince of Crime while under their care, they will pay for the consequences.

“Make me!” you sneer from under the covers, irritated with her plea.

“Yeah, make her!” J growls also and it’s a red flag for the nurse to leave before one of you snaps. The care giver leaves some medications on the cabinet, planning to return later.

“Try not to contaminate me,” he pouts and you roll your eyes. “I already sacrificed a lady’s interest in me by siding with the competition.”

“You’re so full of it,” you kick his knee, careful not to touch the stitched laceration.

He has no clue how much it terrified you that he almost died on Kai’s birthday; it would have been unbearable to think each year at the same date about two men you care about no longer around.

*************

After 3 weeks

The Joker was released from the clinic yesterday and went straight to the cabin in the Willow Woods, hauling a vexed work wife with him against her will. You sure detest the place in the winter time; there are days it snows so much you can’t even walk to the shed to restart the generator. But he said the fresh air will make his recovery a piece of cake and for once you didn’t argue with the bullshit reason.

You are so worn out after taking care of J 24/7 that the tempest going on outside doesn’t bother you. Y/N dozed off one hour ago and the strong wind sweeping the wilderness slams branches, snow and frozen leaves against the windows.

A strand of your hair is being tugged by the crabby King of Gotham; he has insomnia and of course he sneaked into your bedroom after drinking 2 cups of chamomile tea that did absolutely nothing.

“Y/N, are you awake?”

You barely make eye contact, the brain fuzzy from all the restlessness you dealt with in the past weeks.

“My back is stiff,” The Joker indirectly implies a massage would be more than welcomed.“Did you hear me?” he pokes your shoulder when you nap again.

“Why won’t you let me rest?” you finally blur out, wishing you were at your apartment and not in the boonies at the cottage you can’t stand.

“I can’t work out for a while and my bones are cracking every move I make. Plus, I can’t sleep because your dumb tea didn’t work. Are you gonna do anything about it or not?!” he loses patience describing his hardships to the woman that should know all about them.

“Don’t nag me!” the unexpected response containing what J usually throws at you makes him search his mind for a sour admonishment.

In the meantime, you get on your knees and slap his side so he can turn face down, beginning to rub his back along the dragon tattoo since he won’t quit bugging you.

“That feels awesome,” he grunts when your hands work around the tight muscles keeping him up at this hour of the night.

“Jesus, one knot after the other!” you blur out frustrated, trying to relax the stubborn tissue under his skin.

“Told you I‘m stiff; I wasn’t lying. Keep going,” he motivates the grumpy Y/N. “Aren’t you happy that you still have a boss to take care of?”

He senses your fingers stopping, then restarting and something that sounds like sniffling.

“Are you crying?” the muffled question arises from under the pillows.

You wipe your eyes with the sleeve of your fleece pajamas, watching the flames in the fireplace crackling in the darkness. The Joker reaches his left hand backwards and grabs yours, pulling you next to him again. There’s no resistance from your part and his face moves on top of the cushions again.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing…” you bite your cheek and refuse to say more on the topic.

You don’t really have to though; The Clown Prince of Crime is neither stupid or blind.

“I’m still here old girl,” he emphasizes due to his twisted desire to get you out of your misery while still being a jerk.

“I’m not old,” you defend your 36 years of existence like you always do.

“According to my standards you are,” the silver teeth maliciously glisten 2 inches away from Y/N’s lips.

“Your standards are pure crap,” you sulk and he wraps your arms around his neck, compromising at last:

“Probably…” and your sudden kiss takes him by surprise and in the same time it doesn’t.

That’s new, The Joker thinks and enjoys the opportunity of making out with the feisty Y/N that clings to him so tight he cannot move.

“I think I’m still out of commission,” he purrs in between kisses and you couldn’t care less.

“That’s fine,” you smile and give him a second to catch his breath.

“Wait…Wait…” J carefully debates. “Ummm…On the brighter side, I believe we might be in luck but you’ll have to do the hard work giving my present situation.”

“That’s fine too,” you accept his proposal and lean over to whisper:

“Don’t worry, I’ll be nice.”

**************  

7 months later

“Did you get what I asked for?” The Joker barks at the smuggler that’s taking too long searching the metal crates from the last shipment received yesterday.

“Yes, Mister Joker, just one moment. I know it’s in here, I saw it myself.”

“I don’t have a moment!” the impatient King of Gotham retaliates and the dealer picks up the pace, relieved to finally discover the item buried inside the box.

“Here you go Mister Joker,” something resembling a booklet is being handed to J.

The opulent wedding ring beaded with purple and green diamonds stands out on The Joker’s finger and the smuggler’s eyes get big.

“Oh, you got married Mister Joker?!”

“Yeah, two days ago,” he gets ready to bail since he’s late for his own honeymoon trip to Las Vegas.

“Congratulations!” the guy has nothing better to do than offer his best wishes.

“Why??” J’s mood switches for the worse. “You think I got a good bargain out of it?! I didn’t !! She’s been nagging me for 11 years; I just made it official !”

“I’m sorry Mister Joker,” another wrong reply escapes the dealer’s lips.

“Why are you sorry, hm?” the pissed Prince of Crime raises his voice. “You think I can’t handle my own wife?!”

You are waiting for J next to your car, playing with the bottom of your short summer dress. There was certainly a commotion going on until a few moments ago when the noises stopped; you’re about to check on it but J is coming out of the building, brushing pieces of glass off his clothes.

“What happened?” you inquire.

“I got you a present,” he avoids replying and gives you the booklet.

“What is this?” you open it, confused. Nothing but a bunch of stamps neatly organized inside.

“A stamp collection, Y/N! You always complained that when I brought girls at the Penthouse I said I have a stamp collection to show them when in the matter of fact I didn’t. So I fixed the issue: these are actual stamps I can show them; very valuable: I paid one hundred thousand dollars!” he boasts in front of an annoyed Mrs. Joker.

“No girls, no stamps!” you flip the expensive collection straight into the trash can near you.

“Wha’… What are you doing?!”

“No girls, no stamps!” you repeat, urging him to get in the vehicle.

“How dare you?!“ he has an outburst that you don’t pay attention to. “You’re fired!”

“No I’m not,” you calmly go around the car since you’re the designated driver for the vacation. “Come on, get in,” you reach from the driver’s side to open the other door for him. ”Traffic will be horrible across the Bridge of Angels. We have to leave,” you pat the passenger’s seat and J is hesitating. “You really don’t need that stamp collection; you have me.”

“Pfft,” he huffs and enters the car, not wanting to admit to himself that his work wife is right.

Actually work wife and wife.

No matter what anyone says, now there’s finally no difference.

Also read: MASTERLIST

AO3 account - same blog name: DiYunho

[disappearinginq]

First of all: Thank you for replying :) What do I want to see wrapped up...? God appearing would be a bit too much wouldn't it be? Maybe a sign or something from his side? But I don't know, like Chloe knows everything. Maybe one of the archangels fixing the mess that happened. and oooh hugs. thank you for considering my thoughts :)

I will always answer asks from people who bothered to read anything I wrote. The day I don’t, assume I’m dead. 

But no lie - God actually was going to make an appearance. The original version went that Samael and his brothers in an all out fight accidentally killed Chloe (I think I made it that Ragiel, in an effort to hit Samael, missed and got her instead) and that’s what snapped him out of Delilah’s influence. Except then it got super complicated, because it’d originally been based on everyone thinking Samael was the worst of Lucifer, when really, Lucifer was the worst of Lucifer, and Lucifer in a fit of rage destroyed the Earth by ripping apart the boundaries between Earth and Hell and letting everything from Hell swamp the Earth....and God showed up because Chloe wound up meeting him a la Sam and Dean in the Garden in Heaven style, but...anyway. It was already almost 100k words, and I figured I should be wrapping things up, not making things more complicated, so I decided Lucifer was going to save himself instead. 

BUT - because you were kind enough to give me an answer, here’s a preview of what I have written (but I’m not married to), and lemme know if this is a direction I should pursue, or if you would prefer the final chapter be IMMEDIATELY following the previous one. 

 There was no such thing as normal.

One of those beautifully crafted lies humanity liked to sellitself.

After everything – everythingbeing an entirely mind-warping view of the world, the universe, life afterdeath, the cosmic forces of the existential nightmare that was being human, andthe new found and not easily ignored knowledge that her partner and her friendwas proof of a higher power – Chloe didn’t know what to do. What to think. Everythingsince meeting Michael and Gabriel and allof them, there’d been no time to stop and think about what exactly was going on. To consider all of theramifications, and all that it meant that Lucifer wasn’t human, that there wasa God with a capital G, and…now that she hadtime to process it, it just made things worse.

Somehow, breaking through to Lucifer was the easy part.

Which just explained how much of a shit show circus herreality had become.

The part that really, well and truly threw her though, wasjust how fast everything tried toreturn to normal.

After the better half of…weeks? Months? It felt like yearsfrom her point of view – of investigating serial killer cultists who used magicto try and steal Lucifer’s soul or rip him in half to jump start an apocalypse,of seeing him destroy downtown LA with an epic battle between his brothers andbarely managing to avoid Lucifer killing himself out of spite…

After all that…

Monday mornings at the precinct seemed surreal.

She burned herself twice at the coffee pot because she wasn’tpaying attention where she was reaching, zoning out as she tried to go over again what exactly she’d witnessed. Shewalked face first into a glass door, much to a patrolman’s amusement, becauseshe couldn’t keep her mind off the sight of magnificent, damaged wingssprouting from her partner’s back. She misfiled three separate warrants becauseshe couldn’t stop herself from picturing the almost reptilian features of afully enraged archangel as his brothers threatened to literally drag him toHell bound in chains.

But most of all, she couldn’t stop thinking about the look onhis face when he admitted just how lost he truly was – not just as Lucifer, butas Samael.

And she didn’t know what to do about it.

She stayed away. She didn’t know what to say, or what to do.There was no one to really talk to – Dan hadn’t been there for the finalbattle. He hadn’t seen just how far gone Lucifer had been, or what he wascapable of. Hadn’t seen him turn a crowd with little more than a whisper in aneager ear.

She wanted to talkto Michael. Or Gabriel. Or even Ragiel or Azrael. Any of them. All of them. Itdidn’t matter. But no matter how many times she tried to…contact them…she wasmet with stoic silence. It was like past the moment where Lucifer savedhimself, they ceased to exist. They didn’t stay. They didn’t warn they wereleaving. They said nothing and were simply gone. Maybe she was doing it wrong.But she had asked Dan how exactlyprayers worked, because maybe she was just doing it wrong. Maybe she didn’tmake the right gesture, maybe she hadn’t said the right words.

She just wanted toknow what she should do.

After days of silence, she understood Lucifer’s frustrationwith his biological family. Prayers became littered with vague threats ofviolence, and language that would make a sailor blush. She even caught herselfonce doodling a haloed stick figure getting whacked with an umbrella before shesighed and crumpled the paper up in frustration.

If she was being truly honest, she was more frustrated withherself than angels.

The desk across from her remained noticeably empty, a starkreminder that all was not right in the world.

Lucifer hadn’t come in since…well, actually, he hadn’t beenat the precinct since before he wastaken. It’d been weeks since she’d seen him at work.

She eyed her cellphone.

She could call him.

She should callhim.

But every time she her finger hovered over the ‘call’ buttonon his number, she chickened out.

Because what couldshe say?

Despite her confidence that Lucifer could make his owndecisions and save himself…she felt ridiculous thinking she could offer animmortal being with phenomenal cosmic powers anything like advice.  Or comfort. She’d thought she could look pastthe new reality she found herself in. Lucifer was still Lucifer.

Except he wasn’t.

And she wasn’t the same, either.

And every time she thought back to a moment or an instancewhere she lectured Lucifer on humanity and what was right and wrong, she felther cheeks start to burn from embarrassment. It must’ve been like listening toa talking monkey try to tell a god about the world. And now, when she suspectedthat they both needed that connectionto someone who maybe understood, she found herself flailing.

She tried to rationalize that he hadn’t called her either.That must mean he wasn’t ready to talk yet, right? Or maybe he just needed timealone. He had narrowly avoided death.Ish. An undoing of a soul. That must be traumatic, right? She hadn’t wanted tosee anyone, except her daughter, after she’d been shot, either. Maybe he wasthe same way?

Facing mortality for a mortal was one thing.

She couldn’t even begin to imagine what the sameconfrontation meant for an immortal. Lucifer once treated his mortality as agame, but it was one thing to experience the novelty of pain for the firsttime. It was an entirely different matter to consider death.

Chloe stared at her phone. Maybe he wouldn’t pick up.

Maybe he would.

She wasn’t sure which scenario was worse.

Every time it buzzed, she snatched it like a fat kid snaggedfree cake, hardly daring to breathe until she realized that it was just ane-mail from someone else. A text from her mother. A picture from the babysitterand Trixie.

At night, when her shift was over, she purposely took thelong way home, cruising past Lux, telling herself every time that this time would be the time she stoppedin.

Except it wasn’t.

Lux remained shuttered and closed, devoid of the pulse thatgave the building a life of its own. Somehow, what happened there seemed tolinger. It might have been her imagination, except that others seemed to feelit too. No one lined the sidewalks waiting to get in. No one approached thebuilding, peering in windows to see when it would re-open. People skirted thesidewalk, crossing the street without really seeming to know why, because oneblock later, they stopped and looked around, confused as to why they crossed inthe first place when their destination was the other side of the street.

There was no evidence of what happened. Nothing every made itto YouTube, or the news, or any other media platform. She assumed it was thearchangels at work – or at least, some other cosmic force. She had nothing elseto explain why one night, downtown LA looked like an aftermath scene for amonster movie, and the next day like nothing happened.

And stranger still…the more she tried to recall exactly whathappened in the aftermath, the less clear her memories became. Was it stress?Was it shock? Was it the frailty of the human mind? Was it something…or someone…else entirely?  

She sat in her car outside of Lux, parked just beyond thehalo of a streetlamp, staring up at the darkened building. Lucifer couldprobably answer her questions. Now that he didn’t have to answermetaphorically, or she knew that he wasn’tbeing facetious, it would probably help them both. Right?

Or maybe it would just make it worse. At least now she had abunch of ‘maybes’ or ‘what ifs’ that she could easily shrug away or make up ananswer that while perhaps being utter BS would make her feel better at night,and not like someone was staring at her from on high no matter where she was.

God saw all, right? How much was all? What kind of pervy God were they talking that?

She sighed and growled in frustration, grabbing the steeringwheel with both hands as she let her forehead drop against it. “Uggghhhh, why does everything have to be so goddamn difficult?”

“Because that’s how the world works.”

Chloe screamed, and almost hurled herself out of the carbefore her brain even processed who’s voice it was.

Maze sat in the passenger seat, feet up on the dash, one armpropped on the open window, sucking on a lollipop of all things, lookingcompletely unimpressed by Chloe’s cardiac arrest.

“Maze,” Chloehissed through clenched teeth as she reflexively put a hand to her heart. “Areyou trying to kill me?”

Maze considered it for a moment, cocking her head to one sidebefore pulling out the stick candy with an audible ‘pop’. “No,” she said. “I am wondering what you’re doing with yournightly drive-bys though. Seems a little stalker-ish, even for you.”

Chloe declined to answer, because she didn’t have one.Instead, she changed subjects. “Where have you been, anyway? I haven’t seen yousince…” she actually had to think about it. When was the last time she saw Maze? The night Lucifer disappeared fromthe penthouse? And how long ago was that?“Since before Michael and Gabriel showed up.”

Maze flat out laughed at that. “Well, duh,” she sneered, lips pulling back an almost feral snarl. “Demonsand archangels are no bueno. We gothistory. I wasn’t about to get in the middle of all…” she waved her lollipoparound in a vague circle, “that.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be Lucifer’s bodyguard or something?”Chloe pointed out.

Maze pursed her lips, raising one eyebrow. “Aren’t yousupposed to be his partner? Where have you been, besides skulking outside theclub like some sort of creeper?”

Chloe cringed, looking away.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Maze said. She fell silent fora moment, sucking on her candy. “It’s the kind of tragedy I expect from his Dadby now.” Maze glanced skyward through the open window of the car. “Giving himexactly what he wants, in the worst way possible.”

She considered it for a moment. “How…” she stopped, trying tothink of exactly what she wanted to ask, whether or not she wanted to know thetruth. She chewed her lower lip. No. She didn’t need to what Maze meant – notreally, not from her. “How is he?”

Maze leaned forwards, looking up at the darkened penthousethrough the windshield. “Different.”

Chloe didn’t ask any further.

Thunder rolled gently in the distance. Another spring storm,coming across the Pacific.

“What are you waiting for? Permission?” Maze snapped. “Go.”

Chloe reached for the ignition. Maze was right. She didn’thave the right to sit out here and stalk someone who clearly wanted to be leftalone. Lux was empty for a reason. He hadn’t come to work, hadn’t called,hadn’t reached out for a reason. Sheshould know well enough what it was like to have someone who didn’t listen toboundaries.

Maze slapped her hand away from the keys. “Not leave go, go see him go.” She pointed towards the club’s front doors. “It’snot locked. He’s in the penthouse. Go.”

Chloe began to shake her head. “No, he hasn’t invited me, hehasn’t reached out – I need to respect that –”

Maze growled in frustration, and for a moment, sounded lessthan human. “Oh, for the love of – he’s not thatdifferent. He hasn’t reached out because youhaven’t said anything. He thinks you’re just like everyone else who’s everfound out the truth about him, and so far, he’s right. Now go.” She wavedtowards the club.

That hit Chloe like a sucker punch to the gut. It was onething to stay away because that’s what Lucifer wanted.

It was another thing entirely to abandon a friend in need whodidn’t know how to ask for help.

“Okay, I just…do I need-” she glanced back over and Maze wasgone. Chloe heaved a sigh. “Of course she vanishes into thin air. What demonninja bartender doesn’t? Using a door would be unrealistic, right? Who does that? No need to say good-bye, oranything. Pfft.”

She made sure the windows were up, the door was locked, anddarted across the street before she could change her mind.  

(*(*(

Lux was silent. Eerily so. Not like the sound proofing Samaelhad, or the frigid temperatures, but like all the electronics were shut down.The bar was dark. The screens were off. The central air wasn’t on.

The last time she was here, she witnessed Samael rend his brother’swings from his back and throw him down into Hell through a tear in reality shewatched him create.

The columns were repaired. The piano replaced. The glasspicked up and everything polished to a glass-like shine.

Everything looked exactly the same as it had beforeeverything started on the surface, and yet somehow…still felt dead underneath.

As she watched the numbers climb towards the penthouse, shehad a sudden urge to hit the emergency stop and climb the rest of the way bystairs just to draw it out.

She needed the extra time. She had no idea what to say. Shedidn’t even know where to start. Would he even see her? She hadn’t felt thisnervous facing down Samael, and she’d seenwhat he’d done.

Lucifer was a friend. A bestfriend.

Who was an archangel who fell from Heaven, ran Hell, andthen…took a vacation in LA.

Yeah. She could do this. She could totally do this. Yep. Onehundred percent, she owed this to Lucifer, she owed it to herself, she –

The final ‘ding’ echoed like a gunshot in the tiny space. Shefelt her heart hammering in her chest like she’d run a marathon and she wasn’teven sure why. She wasn’t afraid ofLucifer. She hadn’t been afraid of him as Samael. Michael, Gabriel, Death – she’d faced them all withoutfeeling like this. What the hell waswrong with her?

Maybe she should leave. She should go, she hadn’t beeninvited, it was too soon it was-

The doors slid open and she froze.

The penthouse was destroyed.

Absolutely destroyed.

The piano was upended against the marble walls, the bench inpieces flung to the other side of the room. The bar and every bottle shattered.Bits of glass peppered the floor. Expensive alcohol leaked from broken bottles,drying where it lay on the black floors.  

Ta daaaaah! 

[thnxrick]

❍ ─ hey dudes !! i feel pretty hype to be here. i’ve been rewatching gg for the past three weeks and pretty much neglecting my creative side/avoiding all of my writing friends. i was rping in another fandom on discord and i just started to lose inspo, y’know that flame was starting to blow out. on a whim i decided to check out the rp tag on tumblr again ( i haven’t rped on tumblr since 2016 btw ), and whaddya know, the second post i see is from a gossip girl rp. ─ could’ve been a coincidence, could’ve been a sign ?? idk. point is that i’m here !! and i’m really hoping to fall in love w/ writing again. 

ok, lemme introduce you to a boi i made up 48hrs ago.

A LITTLE MORE OOC

// so um, FUNNY STORY, when i joined i was planning to fill up a connection from another roleplayer here as their brother, but they were gone as soon as i was i accepted looooool. so now i lack a sibling and i took their last name. ah well, gotta make due with what you’ve got i guess. 

// that being the case, it sort of inspired me to make a VERY convoluted family tree for him. i’ll touch some bases, but i’ll probably make other posts getting more into it i suppose. 

// just to be clear, i’m going to keep it canon that he has a sister named olivia, i was straight up coming up with a lot of relationship HC’s before approaching the mun, and some where based around that character’s profession. i like what i came up with so i’m planning to keep it that way.

// let’s just say olivia isn’t on gossip girl’s radar. ─like a jenny humphrey from season one lmao. 

THE SKELETON 

.･:*:･ﾟ’ twenty one, cismale, roderick bordeaux was made in the upper east side and attended st. jude’s. he still resides in new york, and is currently a model who progressively grown weary of his profession. they are staying up til’ 4am laughing at memes, mischievous looks, suggestive stature, eccentric humor, silk tuxedos. onlookers say they resemble shawn mendes. ( al, 19, idc, cst. )

FROM THE BEGINNING 

roderick grew up with two older siblings and two very wealthy parents. 

his family is very popular in the social scene of manhattan, we’re talking generations on both sides of their family.

they’ve always kept up appearances and have made bountiful donations to noble and not so noble causes.

his father ( lawrence ) is exemplary businessman and his mother ( keighley ) is a retired actress who’s found her life as a socialite a “profession” on its own.  

his relationship with his parents had its moments of toxicity and neglect but overall he’s never been resentful towards them as he realized the privileged life they handed to him and his siblings. 

rick has always had a penchant for doing stupid things and getting away with it. he gets bored easily !!  but to be clear his intentions are usually positive. his parents barely know of his ventures, they’re not very interested in GG to keep up with it either. he is the youngest─ he gets off the hook a little easier than his siblings do. you bet your ass they envy that.

he’s always been academically inclined, but school was never really his priority. he spent most of his time at constance with his friends. he’s a social butterfly at heart, and he wasn’t one to stick to cliques. basically getting along with almost anyone. always open to making more connections with people. doesn’t mean he lacked his fair share of enemies. 

up until then he was unaware of any other type of life. party, fun, drama and the occasional responsibility. things took a bit of a turn after high school though.

BEFORE THE FALL

first of all, his ex-girlfriend’s-mother married into his family. holidays already came with the uncomfortable “greeting family you haven’t seen for months to years on end” how the hell are you supposed go about it─ “oh hey we’ve rubbed genitals together, we’ve hated each other for a while and now we’re cousins, want a turkey leg” ??

second, his father wanted college, roderick didn’t, but obliged after his father threatened to freeze his accounts.

for three years, he attended harvard, likely due to his parents connections i might add─ he almost claimed the title of a lit major, but in retribution for a new revelation about his parents, he quit.   

WHAT GG DOESN’T KNOW....YET

in his third year of college rick picked up a course in theater, dance and media, partially due to the crush he had on another student. during his attendance he met a classmate who he quickly befriended. one evening she invited him to her birthday party, and to say it changed his world would be an understatement.

after spending more time with her and her family, he felt strangely attached to them, he desired the type of relationship she had with her parents. and soon enough the universe offered him a truth that could make that a reality.

turns out his parents weren’t really his parents. rick was involved in a tangled plan filled with lies and deception. ─his close friend from college ?? was his sister.

this was a lot to take in for rick, he had an entire genealogy that he didn't know about, and they were seemingly everything he wanted in a family. of course this was conflicting. he loved the people he grew up with unconditionally, but his loyalty wavered the more the truth was uncovered.

A GENERATIONAL FEUD 

 his “parents” didn’t even want him, they were blackmailed by his biological grandmother ( thalia ) to keep him away from his biological parents. his grandmother disapproved of his biological father ( lloyd ) and wanted nothing to do with him or his family. 

her distaste was unwarranted however, completely biased. her issues were purely against his mother ( harlow ). they have toxic history together, and share a hatred for each other. so much so that they put aside their disagreements to work together. there was no way in hell harlow would share her surname and it’s perks with thalia’s offspring. and thalia wasn’t planning to have a familial tie with harlow.

harlow promised to take away lloyd’s life of luxury if he married rick’s mother ( rowan ). 

thalia called for some favors owed, and successfully managed to manipulate rowan and set her grandson up for “adoption”.

unfortunately for the high class devil’s their game only played out for a few months, lloyd and rowan loved each other too much to let go. the loss of a child and the loss of luxury wasn’t enough to keep them apart. 

they eloped against their parents wishes, and lost everything. by their early twenties, they were no longer royalty of manhattan, they were “nobody’s”. practically disowned. if it meant they cut ties with their sadistic families, it was fine by them.

rick’s biological parents searched for him, for years, they almost divorced as a ploy to get information from their parents, but it lead them to more questions than answers. it was eventually a mutual decision to end their search, the pain was too overwhelming to continue.

call it fate, who would’ve thought the search would end with academic career and their daughter. 

CURIOSITY KILLED THE CAT

understandably, rick was extremely upset with his “parents” and ultimately detached himself from them. 

he quit school, and disconnected himself from most of his friends for a while. it was necessary to go over his options alone. and soon enough he planned an intervention. in four months time, he planned to expose his parents in public at an uptown charity event honoring them. 

he told four of his closest friends about his strategy requesting for a helping hand, and they willingly accommodated him. 

all except for one. one of the four ratted him out before he could pull it off. and his “grandmother” ( genevieve ) was informed and immediately warned thalia and harlow of the proposition. 

they took matters into their own hands, and made things very personal. suddenly grandma genevieve wasn’t as sweet as she had been.

rick’s ex-girlfriend-now-cousin was instructed to seduce and drug him in his loft, if she failed to follow through, her mother would suffer the consequences. 

with much hesitation she compelled. and on an odd night out she convinced him to catch up, and eventually got him drunk enough to have him pass out on his couch. she called their grandmother right after and waited 10 to 15 minutes for a sign to leave. there were a few stern knocks on the door by two men in very posh tuxedos, she was conclusively excused by their entrance. 

THE SECRET GOSSIP GIRL KNOWS

his cousin-ex-lover left his loft around booty call hour. lacking a walk of shame... but stamped with a very guilty face.

off schedule─ his housekeeper arrived to his loft a bit earlier than usual, having much to do that day. her extended family was coming in from out of town for a familial celebration. and we all know how important family is, don’t we?

she suspected rick was working early as well, and went down the list of her duties. her first priority was his restroom, as he generally left wet towels on the ground after his morning showers. however the only elements she found were scattered pills and emptied bottles on his bathroom floor, along with rick... in a bathtub filled with water looking a little too pale.

with a disheveled 911 phone call, she preformed crucial CPR, and an ambulance shortly arrived─ rick was sent to the hospital to have his stomach pumped, and the bordeaux’s made a private entrance, feeling troubled with emotions of guilt and regret. 

in recovery rick denies the suicidal accusations but was sequentially sent to a rehabilitation center against his will. 

he spent his summer in connecticut, and his family lied to keep press away from their charity event. to what the public knows, rick pursued his modeling career further and traveled through europe for the summer. 

AT A CROSSROADS

all forms of communication were taken away from rick, and he spent most of his time at rehab trying to reach out by bribing his nurses.

one of his nurses fell into his bribe and let him make contact with his cousin. out of fear she confessed and delivered his SOS to their grandmother.

sooner or later, his grandma showed up─ grandma.. thalia. to most and to gossip girl? a stranger. 

she proposed a settlement with roderick, he was to forget about his biological family and continue mingling in his social circle as if nothing ever happened for exchange of his freedom and his family’s freedom.

he begrudgingly agreed to it, and flew back to new york with built up resentment and a thirst for retaliation.

he’s back home now, as if nothing ever happened. last he heard his biological family tried to invite him to their halloween feast. but no word after that.

as of now, his course of action is to figure out what “bestie” ratted him out. what did thalia, harlow or even genevieve have on them. and what could he do about it ??

if all attempts fail, we still have gossip girl.

LMAO MORE OOC

ok ok ok ok ok, ik it’s a lot of shit to read. i’m sorry but not really, i enjoyed myself waaaay too much to truly feel guilty about it. SO idk if you’ve noticed but, i took a lotta of inspiration from the show since i just finished the series again. ─i figured rick is a dumbass but he doesn't lack that much morality to do something awful without warrant. I’LL BE SHOOK IF YOU REALLY READ THROUGH ALL OF THIS BUT HEY IF YOU WANNA PLOT W/ ME PLEASE DO. i have a connections page that has to do with normal connections and it also has connections related to everything you’ve read here !!  feel free to im/dm me at anytime, or like this so ik you’re interested in plotting w/ me, i don’t mind hitting you up. OKAY, MUCH LOVE EVERYONE. 

[rainydayimagine]

Companions reactions when someone says you should date

Cait: when someone suggested you two should date she didn't even break a sweat! She simply looked at you and said "dude even they're aware. When are you going to ask me out?" Which caused you to become the flustered mess.

Curie: you two went to Daisy in Goodneighbor to buy supplies and junk for a settlement when you and Curie geeked over something. That's when Daisy laughed and told you two "I haven't seen anyone love each other like you two love each other in a long time." Curie flushed red and you cleared your throat, also blushing. "We're not... together." You mumble nervously. "Well honestly you should! You two obviously like each other!" She laughed. You blushed as red as a tomato and Curie was even worse.

Deacon: Don't let this little shit fool ya, he's a complete chicken to admitting when he likes someone. Especially when that someone is you. You two were talking at HQ when Tom sighs. "Honestly, when are you two date?" He asks. You flush red and Deacon avoids eye contact at all costs. "Ahaha... What makes you say that Tom?" You ask nervously. "You two have been traveling all the time, and you two also flirt all the time, you keep this up and we'll have a pool to see how long it takes for you to date." Tom sighs setting a wrench down. That's when Deacon spoke up. "Any chance I place a bet in?"

Hancock: it was a dark and stormy night. Like. For real, it was actually a dark and stormy night. The rain wouldn't ease up and you found yourself in a room alone with Hancock. The exact thing you've been trying to avoid. You weren't sure if he liked you or not. But you most definitely liked him. It drove you crazy and you wanted to tell him, but you were terrified he was going to say no. He looks out the window. "Looks like it's not stopping anytime soon." He says. The door opens and a wash of relief came over you. It was Fahrenheit. "Sorry, damn Mutants outside the gate again." She said sitting down next to you. A long awkward silence filled the room. "Okay. Wow."Fahrenheit mumbles. "Let's talk!" He says. "Okay. About what-" "do you two have a thing for each other?" Fahrenheit asks. You blush red. "Well judging by the looks on your faces, you do. So why don't you two just date already? The sexual tension is annoying." Fahrenheit states. "Ah...haha." You mumble. Hancock scratches the back his neck. "LET'S PLAY A DRINKING GAME." You blurt out. Yeah, you got plastered.

MacCready: You two were helping mama Murphy. Well you insisted on working, while MacCready rested. You knew he was overworking himself. "So mama Murphy. What do you see in my future?" He asked as you picked up a wrench. "Hmm... I see your son. He's older, wiser. And I see... well I see Y/n." She says. You freeze in place and MacCready cocks his eyebrow, confused. "You two are... In love." Mama Murphy says in a gaze. You sigh. "You--" you drop the wrench by accident and wince as it falls on your hand. "Ow! Fuck that hurt." You hiss. MacCready gets up. "Lemme see." He says. Mama Murphy smiled to herself. She didn't really see you in love. But she was tired of the two of you looking at each other like lovesick puppies and not saying anything.

Piper: you decided to help her with the paper since she was falling behind because of your wacky adventures. You sat at a table for five hours when finally you got up to get water. You walked over to the fridge and opened the door when Nat spoke up. "So are you and my sister dating or something?" Nat asked. You slammed the fridge door like you saw a ghost inside and turned around. Piper was a blushing mess. "Because you're over alot and--" "nAT!" Piper squeaked pulling her hat over her face.

Preston: Diamond City. The green jewel. Such bullshit. You were framed for thievery. You sat in the cell loathing the guard as he sat there flicking a can off his desk. Finally the door opened and it was Preston. "I'm paying Y/n's bail." He told him putting the caps in his hand. The door opened and you shot out and hugged him. "THANKYOUTHANKYOU!" You said. Preston chuckled patting you on the back blushing. "Yeah, yeah, you're lucky your boyfriend came to your rescue." The guard said. "We're not... T-together." You mumbled blushing like crazy. "Uh huh. I soooo care." He said walking away. Preston chuckled nervously. "So... why were you in here?"

Bonus!

Gage: you didn't like to admit it but all the Raiders scared you. Well everyone except the one you took a liking to. Gage. You and him fought side by side, and something about him saving your life caused feelings to arise. What he wouldn't admit however, is that he liked you too. You got back from the Commonwealth, making sure the factions hadn't gone to war while you were gone. You stood inside the saloon when Mags saw you. "Hey boss. Doing the usual check up?" She asked as Gage stood beside you. "Yup. Didn't do anything too crazy did you?" You asked. "Ha. I didn't do anything too crazy, no." She said. You don't know how but you fell into a good friendship with Mags Black. Made absolutely no sense, since she hated you in the beginning. But you grew on her. Gage spoke up "boss, you have another cut on your face." He pointed out as it bled. "Dammit" You muttered reaching into your bag for a bandage. You took it out and Gage took it from you "I got it." He said placing the bandage on your face. Mags rose a eyebrow. "You two finally asked each other out?" She asked. You turned red and Gage froze. "whAT!?" you squeaked. "Uh... right.. boss.. I've been meaning to talk to you..." Gage mumbled.

[letshargroovetonight]

First, lemme say, wow. You gave me goosebumps and I loved it. "he feels the flick of billy’s tongue against his lips, and steve opens his mouth for him, gives in so billy can lick inside." favorite part. so, my question is this: when do they meet again? does billy play it like it never happened? does steve become the aggressor? this was so beautifully abrupt, I'm dying to know how it would bloom into something more.

ahhh! i’m so so glad you liked it ❤️  (PT. 1 for anyone who’s interested)

and here’s some more! steve admitting to stuff and things go from there!? hope you like this too hoppppppp! 😘 

they weren’t avoiding each other before, but billy definitely is steering clear of steve now. the only time steve has seen billy in the last couple of days is in the biology class they share in the afternoons.

and then during basketball practice. but billy is making sure to keep a fair distance between them at all times. to the point where coach even seems to notice.

“billy if you play like that for tomorrow’s game, you better believe i’ll bench you real quick,” coach scolds billy after he lets steve move right past him for a layup.

billy looks about ready to spit after coach says that. the second coach blows the whistle to end practice, billy storms off the court.

billy’s sulking in the locker room and when tommy makes a mocking comment about “hargrove’s pissy attitude,” billy slams his locker. tommy’s got an oh shit look on his face as billy comes towards him, but billy pushes past him, heads back out to the hallway without a word.

they win against westfield high the next day - billy has no qualms about playing in his normal rough and tumble style when it’s against the other team. he swipes the ball right out of the forward’s hands to get hawkins back in the lead during the final minutes of the game.

mark campbell announces in the locker room that he’s having a party at his tonight to celebrate.

“you going, billy?” steve hears tommy ask from behind him, probably trying to get back in billy’s good graces.

“what do you think?” billy responds. billy is never one to miss a party, especially one in honor of a basketball win.

steve wonders how hard billy will work to keep away from him at the party.

the entire team and half the senior class is at mark’s house later that night.

a group of them are huddled outside around the fire pit mark has got in his backyard. mark’s talking excitedly to steve from across the fire about their chances of making it to state this year. he’s got his arm around his girlfriend, cindy.

billy slides in between cindy and tommy, who’s been whispering in carol’s ear for the last five minutes. billy’s got a cigarette hanging from his lips and a can of beer in his hand.

“you asshole, fucking go smoke that over there,” cindy spits out at billy as he blows a cloud of smoke into the air. billy chuckles, takes another drag from his cigarette, lets some smoke out of the side of his mouth towards cindy.

“hargrove,” mark says, eyes narrowed as he turns his head towards billy. he juts his chin over to the side of the house.

“fuck you guys,” billy sneers, smoke streaming from his mouth. he blows another puff at mark and cindy before chugging the rest of his beer. he drops the can on the ground and walks away.

“asshole,” mark mutters under his breath.

“anyone else getting really cold?” mark asks once billy’s out of sight. the group mumbles in assent and he kicks some sand over the fire to put it out. everyone files up the stairs to the porch, hustling back through the sliding glass door into the kitchen where there’s more beer waiting.

steve lags behind, waiting to see if billy will come back around or if he left in a snit. it wouldn’t the first time he’s left a party without telling anyone.

billy strolls into the backyard again a few moments later. when he sees that steve’s the only one left outside, billy eyes him warily. he looks like he might make a run for it.

it’s certainly not a look steve is used to seeing on billy.

steve takes a step towards him.

“you didn’t have to run away, you know,” steve starts out, his voice low. he tries for a placating tone, wanting billy to understand it was alright, what happened between them.

“you didn’t do anything wrong,” steve continues.“not going to lie though, you did catch me a bit off guard.”

billy just stands there, staring at him. steve takes in a deep breath, readying himself for what he’s going to say next.

“and i can’t stop thinking about it,” steve finally admits it out loud to himself, and to billy. billy eyes widen at that.

“can i kiss you?” steve asks. and he’s laying it all out in the open now - that he liked billy kissing him and he wants to kiss him again.

“here? now?” billy asks, incredulous. his eyes flick up to the sliding glass door as if to confirm no one is spying on them.

steve gives a quick nod which sets billy in motion. he walks up to steve and grabs for his hand, pulls him under the porch where it’s dark except for the light from the kitchen streaming down through the cracks in the wood.

and just like their encounter at the baseball field, billy has steve pressed against the siding of the house. he kisses steve desperately, as if he couldn’t stop thinking about the other night either. steve kisses him back just as desperate.

they break apart to catch their breath and steve grabs at billy’s shoulders, pushes him backwards. steve doesn’t miss the way billy’s face seems to fall at how steve is holding him away.

but then steve whips them around and billy huffs out a surprised laugh. he lets steve press him against the siding now, then licks into steve’s mouth again.

steve presses himself flush against billy’s body as they continue to kiss, his mind reeling when he feels the press of billy’s hard cock against his.

he curls his hands tightly around billy hips, pulls him in impossibly closer. they grind against each other and the friction of it feels really fucking good on steve’s cock. and if the muted gasps falling from billy’s lips are anything to go by, it feels fucking great for billy too.

steve slots his thigh right up in between billy’s legs, feels the hard length of billy’s cock as he rocks down on him now. billy got his hands gripping steve’s arms tightly, his legs clenching around steve’s thigh as he rubs himself off against the muscle of steve’s leg. 

he mouths down along steve’s jaw, pants wetly into his neck and it doesn’t take long until billy grunts out, his body jerking. he presses a whimper into the skin right below steve’s ear as he comes.

bringing his head back a bit, steve takes billy in, how he looks completely blissed out. billy’s eyes drift over steve’s face before he leans in for another kiss.

looking down, steve gets a hand between them to brush his knuckles against the wet spot spreading out on billy’s jeans. billy hisses, bats his hand away. he gets in another kiss to wipe the smirk off steve’s face.

“you can’t tell anyone,” billy says into the corner of steve’s mouth. he brings his palm over the crotch of steve’s jeans, squeezes at steve’s cock.

“i won’t” steve promises, his voice strained. he bucks into the warmth of billy’s hand.

billy pulls away to give steve a serious look.

“i mean it, you ca -“ billy begins again, but stops when the sliding glass door is thrown open and footsteps creak out onto the porch.

“harrington? you still out here man,” mark calls out.

steve looks at billy, who looks about ready to bolt again.

“just finishing up a smoke,” steve calls up to him.

“alright, we’re about to open another keg,” mark replies. they listen to the retreating footsteps, for the close of the door.

“listen,” steve starts, but billy isn’t looking at him. he’s looking at his watch.

“i have to go,” billy says, quietly, almost to himself.

“i told you before. you don’t have to run away,” steve soothes.

“i have to go, “ billy repeats, his voice hard now, a fierce gleam in his eye so different from the soft look he had before, right after he came.

“okay, okay,” steve says, holding his hands up.

he lets billy slip by him and with that he’s gone back around the house. a moment later, steve can hear the camaro rev up and drive away.

steve waits there under the porch for another couple of minutes so that he doesn’t go into the house with an obvious bulge in his jeans.

“harrington,” mark shouts when steve gets back inside. he slings an arm around his shoulders, brings him over to the keg.

“is hargrove still out there pouting?” cindy asks snidely from her spot manning the tap.

“he left, i think,” steve says, takes the cup of beer that’s handed to him. he chugs it down, pushes his hand forward for another fill up.