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blackidyll · 3 years

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oh no. I've started playing tears of themis because of youuuu~~ (TヮT) could i trouble you for a few tips? for instance, when I should spend my tears? I don't know if the 30 visions for a guaranteed SSR is worth it ... ?

hello friend! ╰(*°▽°*)╯ i have to admit i cackled when i saw your tags on the episode 6.2 preview gifset. welcome to tears of themis!

okay, i have some (hopefully) useful advice about the game, but first, i'll tackle your question by explaining the most complicated thing about the game for beginners - all the different banners and the resources needed for each of them.

(i ended up rambling a lot under the cut, so just search for the TL;DR if you want a quick answer!)

Firstly, there are three types of banner currency in ToT (i laugh that the acronym of this game is also crying tears LOL).

From the right - normal tears. normal tears are used to pull on the permanent, rotation, event and birthday banners.

Middle - S-Chips, which can be converted into normal and special tears (special tears are for limited event banners) at the rate of 180 S-chips to 1 tear.

And on the left, the red gems are purchased with real world money and convert to S-chips at the rate of 1 gem to 10 S-chips.

Unless you plan to spend quite a bit of money to buy gems, S-chips are the currency of choice to keep because that allows you the flexibility to convert to normal or special tears as needed, depending on the banner you would like to pull on. Warning: Normal tears cannot be used on limited event banners, so if you convert your S-chips all to normal tears you'll be out of luck for limited event banners. Special tears are specific to each limited event banner and will only be available once the event appears.

Also, pity (the maximum number of pulls at which you are guaranteed an SSR) exists in ToT. Pity resets whenever you pull a rate up SSR. Most banners will have two or more rate up SSRs; if you pull a rate up SSR (say, Luke's), your pity will not reset if you pull the same Luke SSR again, but will reset if you pull a different SSR (like Artem's).

So, the banners. There are a LOT in ToT.

Permanent banner. Uses normal tears. Normally pity is 100. The answer is yes, definitely invest in that one-time, maximum 30 pulls to get your first SSR. And once you get your SSR, then never ever ever touch the permanent banner again!

Rotation banner. Uses normal tears, pity at 100. Pity transfers between rotational banners. Every couple of weeks this banner rotates between the permanent SSR cards, two of which will get the rate up. (Each Love Interest/LI has two permanent SSRs). Generally, we advise saving your s-chips/tears for the event banners since those cards are limited, but it's not the end of the world if you'd like to throw some pulls in here.

Event banner. Uses normal tears, pity at 100. Pity transfers between event banners. There are two SSRs in this banner, usually with accompanying rate up SRs. Basically, pull here if you like that event's specific cards! After the event, the cards won't be available again until a rerun a few months down the road. The upcoming event banner is Electrifying Night, with Vyn and Luke SSRs.

Birthday banner. Comes around each LI's birthday. Pity transfers between birthday banners. Uses normal tears and pity is at 90. Only the birthday boy's SSR cards are in this banner (his two permanent SSR plus the birthday SSR), and only his birthday card will trigger the pity reset. So if you like a particular LI and only want his cards without any of the other boys coming to spook you, pull on the birthday banner! The next upcoming birthday banner is Artem (late April) followed by Marius (June).

Limited event banner. Uses special tears which you must convert from S-chips during the event duration. Pity at 100. Pity does not transfer across events. Each LI has an SSR card (4 rate up SSRs in total). Previous special events had a rolling schedule where two LI's SSRs have rate ups on a given day and the pity is shared (reset once any of the 4 SSRs are pulled).

(Special mention - we should have the Anniversary event in July to celebrate the first year of global ToT! This uses special tears and so a lot of people are saving their S-chips because each LI will have their own banner with their permanent and one event SSR in the pool, and the rate up anniversary SSR card in question is a confession card.)

Regarding pity - it is very possible to hit hard pity in ToT. So if you're very unlucky pulling on an event banner with two SSR rate ups, you could need 200 pulls (hitting hard pity, getting the SSR you don't want, and then hitting hard pity again) before your preferred card comes home.

Also note the pity transfer. The pity carries forward within that same type of banner only, so you can pull 20 times in Electrifying Night, and if you didn't get any SSR, those pulls transfer to the next event (Revisiting Youth), and so you would be guaranteed an SSR in the new banner within 80 pulls. The pity for limited event banners do not transfer, so if you don't have enough pulls to guarantee your SSR, my advice is not to pull! Or else you could pump in 70 or 80 pulls into that limited event banner and come out with no SSRs, and have no pity built or resources for the next events.

TL;DR - invest up to 30 pulls in the Permanent banner to get your guaranteed SSR. Then save your S-chips and tears for the event cards that you want! Since Global runs about a year behind the China server, we can view the upcoming event cards. For normal event and birthday banners, you can freely pull and try your luck (sometimes SSRs will come early and you'll pick up SR cards along the way) since the pity will carry to the next banner. However, if you are aiming for limited event cards, make sure you save your S-chips to convert to special tears that are only available during that particular limited event. For limited event banners, only pull if you have enough to guarantee at least one SSR card, unless you'd like to try your luck and are totally okay with the possibility of not getting any SSRs (or spending additional money to ensure you do).

Some other tips that I remember as a new player!

Enjoy playing the main story episodes! Each episode has one of the boys as your investigative partner, so you get to know them better that way. Each first play through earns you S-chips, so it's easy to rack up S-chips in early game :) Starting episode 4 will also unlock a lot more game functions.

Prioritize leveling up your SSR and SR cards as you will be using them long term. However, in early game because I had very few SSR/SR cards, I also leveled some R cards just so my deck would be stronger and I could fight higher level battles for better rewards. Just focus on the R cards that you have more stars/duplicates for (they will have higher stats) if you need to strengthen your deck.

Try your best to clear Trials of Themis, which gives you S-chips at first clear and unlocks higher rewards for Temple of Trials. Temple of Trials gives you weekly S-chips (up to 400 weekly).

Do your dailies and weeklies - any resources you collect now will help out later. You also get Energy Drinks which will refill some of your AP.

Events are great ways to earn S-chips/Tears and other resources! Even if you don't pull on the banners, the events are usually fun and sometimes you can earn free cards (Artem's SR will be free if you hit certain criteria in Electrifying Night, for example).

Events aside (some of which may be tedious or have repetitive gameplay), ToT is pretty easy-paced for me. The gacha and collecting cards is an important part of the gameplay - each SR and SSR has an associated card story, and will unlock either a text or a video message - but the main story of course is available to everyone, and so are the boy's personal stories (up to chapter 2 at the moment). Some of the events - especially the limited ones - also have good plotlines, and you will have lots of interactions with the LIs as well as the plot of the story itself. The card stories tend to be more light-hearted and romantic, but some of the event storylines can get quite dark. I like the range the game offers, although I can see why that may bother people who prefer either an otome game or an investigation game only.

I also love the main character. She's very well written. She's not just a placeholder for players to self-insert themselves in her place to interact with the LIs - honestly, I think half the fandom wishes she were a romanceable option as well XD.

okay, this is soooooo long, i'm sorry. but i love this game a lot and please feel free to ask me anything! I think you picked a good time to pick up the game - the Electrifying Night event should be quite lowkey and stress free, so you can focus on the main story and leveling up your deck and see if you want to stick with the game long term. And it's about four months to the Anniversary, which gives you enough time to save up if you're going the F2P or minnow-spender route.

I hope you enjoy the game and getting to know each of the main male leads! I have my bias but all of them are endearing in their own ways. I replayed some of the earlier episodes to refresh my memory for when episode 6 released, and there's been quite a bit of character and relationship development. I'm excited for you to experience it!

#solowinged #tears of themis #i'm a minnow-spender - only bought the monthly packages twice - and i'm also a planner XD #i literally picked the cards i want and refuse to pull for anything else just so i can guarantee those cards #i'm -lucky- in the sense that i have one major bias only so i'm okay not to collect the three other boys #but i'm also not too unhappy if they come home instead of my bias #so far all the SSR cards i've played have been interesting!#but honestly the card designs are all so beautiful that my finger itches a lot to pull sometimes #this game tests my willpower and hoarding tendencies like nothing else XD #replies #*

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cal-kestis · 4 years

Text

If I Could Never Give You Peace

(Javier Peña x Female Reader)

Gif by @pedropcl [original gifset]

Summary: Two years after resigning from the DEA, Javi finds himself in Los Angeles, haunted by glares of gunshots and blood-stained hands. He’d succumbed to the idea that he’d never have peace — doesn’t deserve it after everything he did in Colombia. Then, she moves in next door and maybe, he thinks, things could be different. “I hope this doesn’t scare you,” she whispers, her fingers still tracing shapes over his head. “But I care about you, Javi, a lot. I think I could fall in love with you someday...” She exhales, a quiet, shaky sound. “I think I’ve already started.” Word Count: 4,357 A/N: A Reader-insert one-shot with a nameless female reader. No “Y/N” or "you," but the reader can be anyone. Inspired heavily by Taylor Swift’s “Peace.” How many TS references can you find? Lol. Tags: Fluff, Angst (with a happy ending), Mentions of death (but no one dies, I promise), Alcohol, Cigarettes

[Read on AO3]

The rain is always gonna come if you're standing with me... All these people think love’s for show, but I would die for you in secret... Would it be enough, if I could never give you peace? — Taylor Swift, Peace —

When Javier Peña handed in his DEA badge and gun two years ago, he knew he couldn’t stay in Texas. Not forever.

Texas held too many familiar faces, old friends calling him a hero when he felt like a villain. It held too many ties to an old version of himself he’d rather not remember… muddied images of him with a beautiful woman, an abandoned altar, and a shattered promise. No, he couldn’t stay. Not even for his father.

So, Javier Peña and the unwelcomed overcast of his nightmares found a one-bedroom apartment in sunny Los Angeles.

In time, he realized he needed the city: constant motion, endless traffic, and hoards of busy people who would never remember his face. He could blend in. He could be alone.

He could have a clean slate.

But each night, glares of gunshots flashed behind his eyelids and invisible bloodstains marred his calloused palms as if to remind him:

He could never have peace.

Then, she moved in next door.

The first time he saw her, he only caught a glimpse. She and her boyfriend, he assumed, held towering stacks of brown boxes in front of their faces — sweating as they lugged the dusty weight into the empty space.

For a moment, he considered offering some neighborly help but decided against it — When have you ever cared about being a good neighbor, Javi? — closing himself in his quiet apartment with a glass of whiskey.

The second time he saw her, she came knocking on his door the next night.

“Hi, neighbor,” she smiled brilliantly. And for a split second, he swore he felt something foreign flutter in his stomach, but dismissed it as the after-effects of spoiled dinner. “I just moved in next door and wanted to introduce myself.”

He could not take his eyes off her. His gaze stayed glued to a small bead of sweat trailing a slow path down from her hairline, where she’d pulled it back with a makeshift scarf-headband. The droplet slipped down her cheekbone, over a smudge of dust that had settled in from her moving boxes. It drifted down the curve of her jaw, dipping into the slope of her neck until finally hiding away below her tank top. And by some miracle, she only needed to repeat her name for him once before he came out of the trance.

“Sorry.” He gulped, removing the cigarette dangling from his lips. “Javier.”

He extended his hand and she met him halfway. Soft. So soft.

“Good to meet you, Javier.” She smiled again. Flutter. “I’m sure you’re busy. Just wanted to say hi. I’ll see you around.”

And just like that, she swiftly turned on her heel to walk the few steps back to her door, bare feet strutting off, flaunting her daisy dukes, and — God help him, he’s a man and she’s beautiful — he stared.

The nail in the coffin?

When she opened her door and gave him one last smile over her shoulder, she winked.

No, he could never have peace.

—

After that, he hardly ever sees her.

Part of him feels relieved, unduly wary of the strange flutter he’d feel just thinking of her name. The other part, the traitorously curious part, dreams of catching another glimpse of her glistening skin or a quarter note of her honeyed voice. He’ll never admit it out loud, but he finds himself often wondering if her boyfriend gets to enjoy her sun rays and melodies. Lucky bastard.

He blames his roaming thoughts on the fact that it’s… been a while.

This is what you wanted, he’d remind himself when he’d wake to an empty bed — a stark contrast to his time in Colombia. This is the way things should be.

Just when he starts to believe those words, he finds her crumpled on the floor in front of her apartment — the contents of her purse strewn across the hardwood beside her, palms pressed firmly against her eyes. One tiny sniffle and a tremble of her shoulders, and he melts into a puddle beneath her muddy sneakers.

“Hey,” he whispers tentatively, voice raspy with cigarette smoke.

She jolts at the sound, immediately wiping her face with her sleeves and plastering on a saccharine smile.

“Javier,” she tries to say, but her voice breaks on the vowels. “Sorry, I was just— rough day. And to top it off, I think I left my keys inside. I tried Jerry but no luck.”

“Jerry’s a shit landlord,” he sighs, earning a nod from her. He takes out an old, faded receipt from his pocket and kneels in front of her, finding a pen amongst her spilled belongings. “Try this number. He’s usually fast. Can get you back in your apartment tonight.”

He hands her the scribbled receipt and she takes it with a real smile, albeit small. “Thank you, Javier.”

He nods, a tiny dimple forming in one tanned cheek, before getting up to unlock his apartment. The door clicks but he stands there for a moment longer, listening to her waning sniffles as she throws her things back into her bag. His eyes screw shut tightly, a silent war waging behind his forehead, his fingertips feebly trying to rub it away.

He sighs long and heavy when he realizes which part of him has won.

“Would you... like to come inside my place while you wait?” He mutters, mainly to the floorboards. “I’ll put on a pot of coffee.”

“Okay.” Her smile is warm like the sun, despite the cloud of tears still glazed over her eyes. “But you don’t strike me as a cream and sugar kind of guy.”

“No,” he admits with an amused smirk. “But I’ve got some old whiskey, older milk, and a phone you can use, toll-free.”

“Thanks, Javier,” she sniffles. “Coffee sounds nice. But hold the booze and tainted milk.”

And that’s how she ends up in his apartment, sitting at his small dining table, slowly sipping from his coffee mug, using his landline to call the locksmith.

Maybe it’s the caffeine or the three (stolen) pink packets of sugar she found in her purse (“It’s not stealing. Diners offer dozens of them in cute little boxes, I mean practically gift-wrapped, and I modestly accepted three.”), but coffee gets her talking the way alcohol coaxes even the darkest secrets from iron-barred lips. She just broke up with her boyfriend. Or he broke up with her — found some younger, hotter-than-her aspiring actress in Hollywood and left her in the dust of the boxes she’d just unpacked.

“Sorry,” she whispers. “You’ve been so nice. Really, Neighbor of the Year,” she laughs, but he thinks it sounds off. He wants to hear the real thing. “And here I am, taking up your space, drinking your coffee, and dumping all my problems on the table. Tell me if I’m talking too much, Javier. I tend to—”

“Javi,” he says, furrowing his brows as if mildly stunned by the two syllables he just spoke. She looks confused. “You can... call me Javi, for short. And I don’t mind listening.”

“Javi,” she tests the name on her tongue, smiles. His stomach flutters. “A good name for a good guy.”

The argument dies on his tongue the minute he thinks it, even though she’s horribly, terribly wrong.

Sometimes you gotta do bad things to catch bad people.

If she knew...

“I should be out of your hair in 20 minutes anyway,” she says, breaking him out of his dark reverie. “Locksmith’s on his way.”

When she finally gets back into her own apartment, Javi jostles her doorknob, double-checks the lock, and knocks on wood for good measure.

“Find your keys?”

“Got ‘em!” She chirps, jingling her lost keys. “I’m gonna have to memorize that number.”

“I’m next door, too, if you ever need anything.”

“Me too. I can lend you some sugar for your sad-man, bitter coffee,” she jokes. “Thanks again, Javi.”

He sends her a tight-lipped smile and a short nod, a familiar weight settling in his chest as he turns back to his lonely apartment.

“Would you like to come in for dinner?” She asks, quiet and suddenly timid. “I’m no chef, but I’ve never made a spaghetti I couldn’t tolerate.”

He opens his mouth to refuse but she beats him to the punch. “It’s the least I can do after you helped me out. Please?”

And it’s the way she asks that gets him. The way “please” seems to fall from her lips like an unanswered prayer. He wonders, maybe she’s just as lonely as him.

So, he walks into her apartment, she smiles, and his stomach flips.

—

Months pass by with this new routine. He joins her for dinner at least once a week, if their schedules allow. If not at the local diner where she infamously loots sugar, it’s usually at her place. For one thing, although it’s usually pasta, she tends to have more appetizing (read: edible) groceries stocked up than him. But if he’s being honest, something about her apartment just feels more like… a home.

Framed smiles of her and her loved ones line the walls. With each visit, he finds himself studying a new one, imagining the story behind each snapshot. (He noticed after their first dinner, she’d thrown out the photos of her ex, replacing them with Polaroids of the city.) Piles of pillows stack up neatly on her couch, vibrant hues and patterns decorating the space. He adores the soft waves of music always floating around her space. She plays a different record each time, but somehow, each one compliments the sweet tones of her voice perfectly.

Her place feels brighter than his too, and he’s not sure if it’s the east-facing windows or if it’s just her.

Soon, he doesn’t need to decode the photos on the walls anymore. She tells him more than she’s told anyone before — about her hometown, her family, what she studied in college, her travels, her favorite books, her irrational fears, her dreams.

He tells her considerably less, especially when it comes to his time in Colombia.

For now, she doesn’t mind. She likes the way he watches her when she talks — brown eyes soft and warm, brows pinched together as he takes in each word, the ghost of a grin tugging at one corner of his lips when she gestures dramatically.

He realizes, one night after dinner, he comes home smiling now. And he thinks the nightmares have started dwindling, ever since that first dinner.

Maybe, he lets himself imagine. Things could be different.

—

He calls for you over and over, shouting until his throat burns and the echo of his frantic voice pounds in his ears.

“Where are you?” He screams.

The narrow hallway is dark, familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. He crushes his body into the hard wall, arms sliding roughly against cold brick as he tries to keep himself concealed. The gun in his hand feels icy and impossibly heavy, and his arms tremble as they lift the weapon higher, rounding the corner.

“Llegas tarde, Peña,” a deep, gravelly voice sneers. “You’re too late.”

“Tómame!” Javier yells. “Tómame en su lugar.”

“You would die for her?” The voice chuckles. “Llegas tarde.”

The voice’s shadow moves, revealing a smaller shadow crumpled on the floor — lifeless.

“Javier! Javier!” A distant voice chants, accusing him. Boom! Blaming him. Boom!

“Javier!” Boom!

The pounding sound wakes him up with a jolt, and his sweat-slicked chest rapidly rises and falls as he reaches for the gun inside his bedside table.

Slowly, Javier creeps to the front door where the loud pounding started. But when he peers into the peephole, he only finds her — looking as tired and distressed as he feels. A wave of relief floods through his overheated body.

She’s wrapped up in a blanket, a worried look wrinkling her forehead.

He puts his gun down in a drawer and lets her in.

“What time is it?” He asks.

“Almost 4 in the morning.”

“What’s wrong?” He demands, suddenly worried about why she’d be waking him this early.

“You tell me,” she says, frown lines still etched by her eyes — mirroring his own tired marks. “I heard you yelling. I was worried, Javi.”

“It was...” he starts, squinting as the images flash in his mind again. “Just a dream.”

It only takes one glance into his eyes for her to reach out to him, pulling him in by his neck until he nuzzles into hers.

He breathes her in, holds her like he’s not sure she’s real, like she might be gone tomorrow. “It was just a dream,” he echoes, but he’s not sure who he’s trying to convince.

“It was just a dream,” she repeats after him.

She pulls him by his hand toward his couch, sitting down before patting the space beside her. And just this once, he allows himself to let his head rest in her lap, lets her drape her fuzzy blanket over him, lets her soft fingers draw slow circles in his hair, lets her lull him to sleep with mumbled whispers he can’t quite make out, and lets her ward off the lurking darkness like a nightlight.

He’s asleep before he can hear the quiet secret that spills from her lips.

“I hope this doesn’t scare you,” she whispers, her fingers still tracing shapes over his head. “But I care about you, Javi, a lot. I think I could fall in love with you someday...” She exhales, a quiet, shaky sound. “I think I’ve already started.”

She comes over to his apartment more frequently after that. Whether to bring him dinner or just sit on his couch in comfortable silence, she doesn’t like to leave him alone.

And maybe, she’d rather not be alone either.

—

He doesn’t remember how she convinced him, but here he is... sitting at a crowded bar drinking water, watching his tipsy neighbor bouncing alone on the small dance floor.

Every so often, some cocky drunk comes up to put his hands on her waist and tries to dance with her, but she plasters on a faux smile and shakes her head at them, muttering something while nodding in Javier’s direction. Each time, they sulk away and he chuckles.

Finally, she bounces over to him, tugging at the sleeve of his leather jacket.

“Dance with me, Javi. Please,” she draws out the word, an octave higher than normal.

And despite himself, he follows her voice like a sailor enthralled by a siren’s song.

She puts her arms around his neck, swaying her body against his. And then she shouts over the music, “I’m so glad we’re friends.”

And the heart on his sleeve falls straight to the floor, clanging loudly in his ears like metal.

‘Friends’ is more than you deserve, he reminds himself.

But then she continues, resting her head against his chest, her index finger coming up to tap a tantalizingly slow beat over his collarbone. “Good friends,” she sighs, lifting her gaze until her chin digs into his heart, her lips just inches from his. “Really… good… friends.”

She’s kissing him before he can even process the feeling. And despite his better judgment, he lets her. She’s everything warm and soft and good, with just a hint of alcohol — and he’s what you get when you turn those words upside down, jumble the letters, and crumple the paper into a jagged ball. But he craves the way her curves somehow fit perfectly against his cold, shattered edges. And he knows he shouldn’t.

So, when he feels her tongue trace along the seam of his mouth, he gently pulls away, hands rubbing soothing circles on her shoulders.

“You’ve had too much to drink, cariño,” he says. “Let’s go home.”

“Okay,” she whispers, smiling with half-lidded eyes, drawing her finger across his mustache then below his ever-pouting lip.

She’s passed out in his car by the time they’re back home. When he unlocks her apartment door for her, she stays latched onto his arm as he turns to leave.

“Stay,” she whispers.

“I—”

“Please?” She asks, in that way he knows he can’t fight. “I don’t want to be alone.”

And just like that, the door closes behind him and he stays.

He finds her an oversized shirt to change into, helps her wipe the smudged mascara off her face, and holds her until the sun rises.

When she wakes, the space beside her is empty but warm and indented, the shape of his body lingering in the sheets. A full glass of water, ibuprofen, and the phantom taste of Javi’s lips are the only other traces of her really… good... friend.

—

He’s not avoiding her… per se. But it’s a long, lonely week later when he sees her again, on an uncharacteristically rainy Sunday outside their apartment building.

“I just got home,” she blurts after standing there dumbfounded for a good minute. She nods to the soaked brown paper bags in her arms. “Groceries. Uh, obviously. Were you...?”

“Forgot my umbrella,” he answers.

“Same,” she chuckles awkwardly, droplets hanging on her lashes and the ends of her hair, only partially covered by her hood. “Obviously.”

“Here, let me help you.” He takes the bags from her, keeping the door open with his foot as he waits for her to head inside.

“Thanks, Javi-er.”

He follows her upstairs silently, his wet, squeaking shoes punctuating each slow and heavy step.

“I can—”

“Let me just—”

They fumble and dance around each other in her doorway as he sets her bags in her apartment. And, as if to torture herself, she decides to stand under her door frame when he leaves to grab his umbrella, waiting the longest minute of her life for him with a forced smile.

He waves his umbrella at her after locking his door. “I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah.”

He nods and walks back down the stairs.

“Javier, wait.”

He pauses, his back still facing her, drenched shoes balanced on two different steps.

“Can we talk?” She hates the way her voice sounds when she asks, tinny and trembling. Clearing her throat, she clarifies, “About what happened... at the bar?”

He sighs, screwing his eyes shut tight and rubbing his forehead.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” he says, low and barely audible as the rain starts picking up outside. And he walks away.

She’s stunned still, watching as his figure shrinks with each step he takes away from her. He’s already out of the building by the time frustration fuels her feet to follow him into the rain.

“Like hell there’s nothing to talk about,” she yells over the downpour, hair quickly sticking flat to her face. “Javi, we kissed!”

“You were drunk,” he says, just loud enough for her to hear, still walking.

“I wasn’t drunk,” she argues to his back, remembering with perfect clarity exactly how his lips felt on hers. “Just a bit braver. Javi, stop! Look at me. Please.”

And like clockwork, he turns slowly but doesn’t move any closer.

So, she closes the distance to stand beside him under his umbrella, taking in his features without the obscurity of rain.

“What are you running from?” She wonders, reaching for his fidgeting hand. “I would never hurt you. I—”

The line between his brows looks deeper than usual, as if they’d been stuck in that pinched position for weeks. Shadows lay in rings beneath his eyes, accompanied by smaller lines that carry untold stories she hopes he’ll entrust her with someday. His mouth is parted just slightly, as if to say something he knows could change everything.

And it does.

“I have to go.”

Her hands are empty and wet when he leaves. And the rain buries his parting words into the pavement.

I don’t want to hurt you.

—

She doesn’t hear from him for two weeks. Doesn’t even catch a glimpse of him.

The rain sticks around longer than usual for Los Angeles, making her apartment feel cold and gloomy. But maybe, it’s just missing him as much as she is.

Then, while she’s folding her laundry one night, she hears his door rattle and practically bolts to her own. He’s there. Keys in hand, rolling luggage in the other, hair tousled like he’s been pulling at it with his fingers. He looks at her when she opens her door, just for a beat too long, before hiding away in his apartment.

She sighs, closing her door in defeat.

But just as she starts getting ready for bed, she hears two knocks at her door, heart beating rapidly as she slowly makes her way to open it.

“Hi, neighbor,” he greets her softly, and the sound of his voice after so long without it nearly brings her to tears.

“Where did you go?” She asks. But she really means, Why did you leave?

“Texas,” he says. “I... needed to see my dad.” But he really means, I was scared.

“Oh.”

“Can I...” he mutters. “Can I come in please?”

She hesitates for only a second before stepping aside and he looks around like he hasn’t seen the inside of her apartment hundreds of times already.

He stops near her bedroom, where a new picture hangs proudly: a goofy, blurry photo of him stashing three pink packets of sugar in his shirt pocket.

“It’s the only photo you’ve let me take of you,” she says quietly, standing next to him with a wistful smile on her face. “I miss our diner dates.” But she really means, I miss you.

He doesn’t respond, just silently walks to her couch and sits, fingers rubbing circles into his forehead.

Minutes roll by slowly as she watches him from the other side of the room, battling with some invisible hand covering his mouth, holding on until the end to keep the words locked up.

“I’m not a good man,” he whispers, so softly she almost doesn’t hear it. “I’ve done things I’m not proud of... back in Colombia. I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready to tell you. I think a part of me is still there, fighting some unwinnable war. Hell, even before Colombia, I—”

Muddied images of a beautiful woman, an abandoned altar, and a shattered promise flash in his mind.

“Fuck. I can’t shake it,” he says, looking up at her with red-rimmed eyes, waving the invisible iron shackles on his wrists to show her. “Any of it. The nightmares...” He recalls her shadowy body and a dark, menacing voice. “They’ve followed me for years. I—” he looks at her, eyes darting across her face. “I could never give you peace.”

His head hangs low and a wayward curl brushes against his forehead. Despite how much space he takes up on her couch, he looks so small, defeated — the weight of his past crushing him into this tiny, torn, crumpled-up piece of paper covered in red-inked, scratched-out sentences.

“Javi,” she whispers, but he doesn’t meet her eyes. So, she crosses the room and kneels in front of him, her palms reaching for his cheeks and lifting his gaze to hers. “Javi, who said anything about peace?”

The wrinkles deepen between his brows as he studies her, tries to understand what she means in the cloudy orbs of her eyes.

“The past is the past. We’ve all done things we can’t speak of. And sometimes at night, we live it all again. God knows I’m far from perfect. But I know you’re a good man, Javi. I see you,” she tells him, stroking the curves of his cheekbones with her thumbs.

“I’m not—”

“Do you trust me?” She interrupts his argument. He stares at her, blinks, before nodding once.

“Then trust what I’m saying. You’re not perfect. But you’re good.”

His eyes close as soon as she sees water beginning to pool behind his lashes.

“I’m not asking for peace. As long as I get to be with you, it would be enough.”

And then his lips are crashing into hers, pulling her into his lap until he’s covered in her. The sound he makes when they touch is devastatingly beautiful, like she’s a balm soothing his freshest wounds and healing his oldest scars. It feels like his entire body has exhaled — lungs deflated, bones liquified, mind released from a decades-old straitjacket. If not for gravity, he could float from the way his stomach is fluttering. His shoulders lower and he sighs as if he’d been holding his breath for his entire life until this moment.

He’s drowning in her, submerged to the top of his head. But he can finally breathe.

“I’m sorry I ran,” he whispers into her skin. “I’m sorry I left, cariño,” he kisses just below her ear. “My dad said I was the biggest asshole on the planet for leaving. I’m sorry, baby. So sorry,” he licks the seam of her lips.

“Mi alma, you have no idea,” he sighs when she parts her lips for him. “How much I love you.”

And she captures the words on her tongue, kissing him with a ferocity that says, Yes, I do.

“Want to know a secret?” She gasps when his lips trail down her neck. Her voice is barely a whisper, as feather-light as her fingertip skating across his shoulder.

He hums, a soft, lazy smile stretching his lips wide, so wide.

“I don’t think it’s possible,” she says, staring into his deep brown eyes. “That I’ll ever love anyone more than I love you, Javi.”

Her finger stops, retracted to shield herself after such a heavy confession. His eyes blink slowly, head lifting off the couch cushion.

He doesn’t say a word. He only stares at her, the softest smile on his face — his edges blurring into gentle curves in front of her very eyes.

“You’re it for me,” she finalizes.

And then they’re crashing into each other again and again and again.

End Notes: Look, it’s been almost 10 years since I sat in a Spanish class and watching Narcos only restored 3% of my limited vocabulary. Here’s what I got from Google Translate: “Llegas tarde.” = You’re too late. “Tómame!/ Tómame en su lugar.” = Take me!/ Take me instead. “Cariño” = Darling, honey “Mi alma” = My soul P.S. Please let me know if I missed any tags/triggers!

#javier peña #narcos #pedro pascal #javier pena #javier peña x reader #you know i've fallen deep when i start writing #your honor she's simping #mine*

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sassy-ahsoka-tano · 2 years

Note

Hi Mila. I know you’re really busy but I wanted to know if you’ll be posting soon!! No pressure, I just want to know how your schedule is working rn 🥺🤍

hi nonnie :) thanks for checking in

i've actually gotten a shit ton of writing done today sjssj and should be starting to queue stuff to post later this week! i'm probably going to take the rest of august just to finish cleaning up the blog and get caught up

BUT i'd say you can expect several fics like maybe 6-7 and a few blurbs to be posted starting Sept. 1

i hope to also be opening up my requests again by like next mon (sept. 5) just in time for autumn HEHEHEHE

i also already have a few ideas for some stranger things fics that i want to write before i reopen my asks as well :)) i'll keep y'all updated but in the meantime enjoy the gifsets and nice pictures that i've been reblogging ❤️

#answered #updates

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thisweekingundamwing · 3 years

Text

This Week in Gundam Wing 11-17 April 2021

Here’s this week’s roundup! April 11-17th!

Remember to give your content creators some love! Be sure to join in on the events at the bottom! And remember to send in any new works you see or make next week!

~Mod Hel

Fanfiction/Snippets/AU Ideas:

EmiAysu

Floors are Friends https://archiveofourown.org/works/3060526

Duo Maxwell, Chang Wufei, Quatre Raberba Winner, Heero Yuy, Trowa Barton

A simple raid goes drastically wrong.

lunesolei

Of Starting Pistols and Old Memories (Ch. 4) https://archiveofourown.org/works/30313110

Trowa Barton/Heero Yuy, Trowa Barton & Heero Yuy, Mariemaia Khushrenada & Heero Yuy, Trowa Barton & Mariemaia Khushrenada, Mariemaia Khushrenada & Lady Une

Post-Endless Waltz, Recovery, Coming of Age, Background Slash, could be friendship too

Mariemaia hoists herself out. Her feet slip on the smooth floor and gooseflesh erupts on her arms and back. She climbs onto the block and wiggles her feet against the gritty texture. A couple deep breaths, back arched, legs bent, and toes dug in. Her eyes narrow as she moves her arms into position. “One-”

“Go.” His voice startles her and she does a half jump, landing in the water in an undignified mess. She resurfaces and he gestures for her to resume her position. “Lady Une says you’re on the swim team, you shouldn’t be scared to jump in. Go when I say go.”

“I go when I want to go,” she growls. She isn’t sure how she feels about Lady Une telling others about her activities. Especially him. She resumes position though.

“Not if you want to win.” Her shoulders stiffen. “Loosen up. Go.”

All Mariemaia wants is to be left alone while she practices her swimming and tries to survive the school year. She doesn’t know why she’s surprised that doesn’t happen - it’s not like the universe has been on her side in the past. Especially when it comes to meddlesome Gundam pilots.

katopiyo

Ice https://archiveofourown.org/works/30480678

M/M, Duo Maxwell/Quatre Raberba Winner

Canon Insert,Coping…?

Anything that happens, happens, Duo tells himself, but that doesn’t mean that he never gets upset.

Aphelion https://archiveofourown.org/works/30705581

M/M, Duo Maxwell/Quatre Raberba Winner

Established Relationship, Developing Relationship, Early Relationship, Domestic Bullshit, Mindless Fluff, Bread is god is bread

“I don’t inhale cake-” Quatre protests, but gets hit in the nose with another chocolate chip. “Stop wasting food!”

Bluff https://archiveofourown.org/works/30724526

M/M, Duo Maxwell/Quatre Raberba Winner

Taking in the light of Earth’s glowing full moon, Quatre felt as though he could believe in anything.

He could use some of that faith right now.

@tziganecaffiends

They Stumble That Run Fast https://archiveofourown.org/works/30701066?view_adult=true

M/M, Chang Wufei/Treize Khushrenada

Chang Wufei, Treize Khushrenada, Duo Maxwell, Vingt Khushrenada

Explicit, Rape/Non-Con, Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Business Trip, Sex Work, teen wolf cameos - Freeform, MHA cameos, Cameos, Porn, Porn with Feelings, Pretty Woman References, Waiting, Power Imbalance, Power Dynamics, power imbalance awareness, Tropes, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Team as Family, Dysfunctional Family, Wufei and Duo go into business, Post-Eve Wars (Gundam Wing), Angst with a Happy Ending, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Resolved Sexual Tension, Sharing a Bed

His first knock was met by the door opening immediately. Five looked... well, honestly, Treize would have jumped that in a heartbeat, money or no money. He was shorter than Treize by a few inches, hair rumpled, pillow lines on his face. "He's definitely going to kill me," Five sighed, and moved to allow Treize to step into the room.

Treize waited until he closed the door, and then closed the space between them, setting hands curiously at Five's waist to see how immediately receptive he was. His pajamas matched, soft silk, worn a little and softened in a way that told him it wasn't an affectation. "He won't have to know. Hello."

Boundless as the Sea https://archiveofourown.org/works/30747161/chapters/75887108

M/M, Chang Wufei/Treize Khushrenada

Chang Wufei, Treize Khushrenada, Lady Une

Explicit, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Sexual Slavery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rape, Past Abuse, Rape Aftermath, Trauma, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-Canon, Post-War, Post-Eve Wars (Gundam Wing), Survival, Frottage, Demisexuality, Ongoing trauma and assault, but it ends well, Tropes, Dermail makes a handy big bastard, Oz wins, Pegging

Rolling over hurt. Wufei gave a grunt of sound, body aching even as he forced his eyes open to a ceiling that he didn't recognize. It was white with no embellishments, no gold flake, nothing, and adrenaline hit his bloodstream, forcing him up more quickly than was good for him.

He didn't know where he was. The windows were tall and arched, the walls were a soft blue, and the floor looked to be wood, natural and well-waxed. A chair pulled up to the side of the bed, a pillow and a blanket piled into it, and he could distantly hear classical music.

Wufei wasn't in his room, and he wasn't in any room in the brothel. Wufei wasn't even sure as to precisely when he should start panicking, but the best answer seemed to be any second now.

weno

Perfect https://archiveofourown.org/works/30472821

M/M, Duo Maxwell/Quatre Raberba Winner

Light Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Violins, quat perfectn’t, Short One Shot

No violins were harmed in the making of this fic

Fanart/Crafts/Photo Manips:

@alphaikaros

https://alphaikaros.tumblr.com/post/648127388883058688/month-of-quatre

Quatre Raberba Winner

@cloakandfire

https://cloakandfire.tumblr.com/post/648310393547227136/college-au-in-which-zechs-and-noin-learn-anatomy

Zechs & Noin

@duointherain

https://duointherain.tumblr.com/post/648670572325306368

Heero Yuy

@gwkimmy

https://gwkimmy.tumblr.com/post/647883786946805760/blargh-im-late-colored-and-edited-a-manga-cap

Relena Darlian-Peacecraft

@keiko1183

https://keiko1183.tumblr.com/post/647434916737548288/its-3x4-day-again

Trowa/Quatre

Photosets/Gifsets/Screenshots/Manga Pages:

@cuteciboulette

https://cuteciboulette.tumblr.com/post/648271266529394688/look-ive-found-my-scan-the-cover-of-heero

Heero Neko

https://cuteciboulette.tumblr.com/post/648361841609818112/heero-koneko-grow-up-well-p-link-to-dwl-behind

Heero-koneko

https://cuteciboulette.tumblr.com/post/648543074355757056/doujinshika-25-ans-im-really-not-into-that

Noah (Duo & Quatre)

@meggie-stardust

https://meggie-stardust.tumblr.com/post/648413786056851456/was-doing-gw-stuff-with-bettertasting-last-night

Relena’s friends

Calendar Events:

@gundamzine

Rhythm Generation 2021

Contributor Applications are Closed! https://gundamzine.tumblr.com/post/647270927091007488/applications-are-officially-closed-thanks-to#notes

twitter link: https://twitter.com/gundamwingzine/status/1335010999401762816

Meet the Mods: https://gundamzine.tumblr.com/post/636708854145613824/come-on-over-a-meet-your-2021-zine-mod-team-head

Check out the blog for the Zine schedule!

@gundam-wing-pride

Gundam Wing Pride 2k21, 30 Days of Pride https://gundam-wing-pride.tumblr.com/post/648237909672083456/incoming-transmission-faq

@gwartserver

Month of Quatre https://gwartserver.tumblr.com/post/647282114067333120/month-of-quatre

@gwcocktailfriday

Cocktail Fridays!

Post responses on Friday, during Happy Hour between 3 & 5 pm in your own timezone.

Here’s the prompt for Friday, April 23rd! https://gwcocktailfriday.tumblr.com/post/648720472593268738/cocktail-friday-post-responses-on-friday-april

In need of Summer/Fall(Autumn) prompts!

@gwlemonyshenanigans

- May 1-31: Lemony Shenanigans will be posting works!

Spotlight Friday! https://gwlemonyshenanigans.tumblr.com/post/648674843443822592/spotlight-friday

@oztober-rust

Welcome to Oztober Rust

We’re an up and coming Gundam Wing event with a slight twist! This page is still a work in progress, but you’re welcome to join us over on discord and get a feel for the event.

@seasons-of-gundamwing

Summer Event Voting https://seasons-of-gundamwing.tumblr.com/post/646220556727877633/seasons-of-gundamwing-okay-wingers-its-time-to

@thisweekingundamevents

Events Calendar https://thisweekingundamevents.tumblr.com/post/644080386309275648/events-calendar-update

If you are hosting an event currently, or are planning on one, hit us up with links and dates! We’ll add them to the Calendar and reblog your notices to get the word out!

#Gundam Wing #This Week in Gundam Wing #Weekly Roundup #11-17 April 2021 #(Sorry it's so late!)

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shlbigbang · 3 years

Text

FAQ

Who are the mods?

The mods are symphorine (@symph0rine on tumblr and twitter, symphorine on AO3), shards (@shards-of-divinity on tumblr and AO3), kep (@huldraism on twitter, drifloon on AO3) and vesh (@dryadfangs on twitter, decidueye on AO3)

Is this only for the show?

No! We realise the name might be misleading, but this is for people who have seen the show, read the book, or both! You don’t even have to have seen/read it all, but in that case, beware of spoilers.

Is this only for certain pairings?

No! As long as what you want to write about is within the rules, you’re good! You don’t have to write a pairing, either. Gen fics, with or without background ships, are absolutely welcome!

What is the minimum wordcount for fics?

The minimum wordcount is 8k words. There is no wordcount cap; you can write as much as you want!

What kind of art can artists participate with?

Drawings (both digital and traditional), fanvid, and gifsets/manip set are all accepted! They will have different requirements.

What are the art requirements?

For drawings: at least one finished piece, according to what you'd consider fully finished in your style, and a second piece that can be less finished (i.e. maybe you don't add a background or shading) For fanvids: a video at least 30 seconds long. For manips/gifsets: at least one 8 gifs gifset, or two manips, or a mix (for example, 4 gifs gifset and 1 manip). Of course, if you feel particularly inspired by a fic, feel free to do more if you want!

If I am a writer and already have a beta, do they have to sign up as well and claim my fic, or can they stay “exterior” to the event?

They should sign up as well, and you should both contact us to let us know you’ll work together! Your fic then will be marked as already claimed by your beta during the claiming rounds. This is mostly so we can keep track of who’s involved, and have a way of contacting your beta for check-ins and in case of problems. This also means they will get an invite to our discord if they’d like to join it!

Will this bang be allowing NSFW or dead dove content?

We will be allowing NSFW (as long as it isn’t about the minor characters, i.e. Chengling and any kids), but not dead dove content that exceeds canon typical stuff.

For example, there are torture scenes in both the show and the book, so it’s okay to include equivalents in fics or art, but if you were planning on writing 8k of only detailed torture, then that wouldn’t be allowed. If in doubt during the event, you can always ask a mod if what you’re thinking of would be allowed or not!

Do writers get to choose what kind of content they do/do not want for their fic? (Like yes to drawings and no to vids, for example?)

No, writers will not get to choose what kind of art they will get. That’s in the interest of fairness, but also so no participating artist gets left out! Of course, as a writer, you can still discuss with your artist what they’re intending to make, but they will have the final say on that.

Can we participate as an artist and writer team that is predetermined?

No, sorry, artists and writers cannot form a predetermined team. It kind of would go against the idea of the event, the forming of the team and working with new people is most of its purpose. Of course it would be easy to “cheat”, but we are trusting participants to not do that!

Can I sign up as writer and artist?

Yes, you can! We will have a separate signup form for writers, artists, betas, and pinch hitters, so you’ll just have to submit both a writer and an artist form!

I want to write an AU, a friend who is very familiar with the AU setting is already helping me brainstorm and would be up to sign up to beta it but they haven’t watched SHL. Could I still have my fic up to be claimed by someone actually familiar with the characters?

Yes! Although this is a bit of an edge case, nothing is technically preventing you from having several betas; we simply want everybody to have at least one, which is why we are providing one through the event. In this particular case, we would still like your friend to sign up so they can give us ways to contact them, and for you both to then contact the mods to let them know. If they are unfamiliar with SHL, though, they should tell us, and will not participate in claims. You will also be quite low priority if we end up lacking betas (in which case one of the mods will probably pick up your story for beta reading).

Are there options to go forth with if I am not comfortable working with my beta?

Yes! If you aren’t comfortable working with your beta (or if as a beta you are not comfortable working with one of your writers), contact the mods and we will arrange for you to get a new beta (or if you are a beta, we will arrange for somebody else to take your place).

How fully made will the fics be when artists claim them?

You will claim fics based on summary and/or outline, as well as AO3-style tags that would apply. Tags will indicate pairings, main characters and tropes, so you will have a general idea of the focus of the fics! We might also indicate the writer’s rough estimation of their final wordcount, but you will not know how far along each writer is in writing their fic.

If I already have an idea for a fic and I would like to “claim” that idea, would that be possible? Or are you guys okay with accepting multiple entries of the same premise?

We are not regulating fic premises! You don’t need to claim your idea or make sure nobody else is doing anything similar before you write it. Technically, if everybody wanted to write a fluffy coffee shop AU, then everybody would be free to write that. The “claiming” part is only for artists and betas to say which fics they’ll work with.

If we are not comfortable working with minors, is there any way for us to know in the claiming process?

We do not have a particular system for this. A safe bet, if you’re claiming fics, would be to claim NSFW works, as we did establish that people should be 18+ if they want to depict NSFW. If you’re a writer, you can always message us and say that you do not want your fic to be claimed by a minor, and we will add that as a note during claimings.

As always, though, if after claims you find that you do not work well with the people who claimed your fic/whose fic you claimed, you can always message the mods to try to arrange something.

Do you have contacts for any sensitivity readers in addition to betas who may sign up? It’s my first Chinese fandom so i want to ensure i get someone(s) to look over it from a culture perspective.

Unfortunately, no, we don’t have any particular sensitivity readers contacts. You may try to find somebody to do that by yourself (in which case, good luck!). You can also look around for resources, I have seen a few threads and links pop up recently. Finally, you can also look for a beta who would be able to do sensitivity reading as well. It’s not guaranteed that someone who can do that will sign up as a beta for the event, but we can put it as a note during claims so betas can see it and claim accordingly!

Other than that, your best bet would be, I think, to ask on the BB Discord server if anyone can do sensitivity reading/knows someone who can.

Can ongoing works in AO3 be submitted?

No, ongoing works can't be submitted. We would like writers to submit something that hasn't been published yet; a wip, or even a complete fic, started before your signup time is fine, as long it hasn't been published elsewhere. Of course, a new fic is fine as well.

With everything going on currently, is the schedule going to remain the same for now?

It will stay the same for now, yes. However, since our next check in is next week, we will reevaluate the schedule after people have checked in, and might modify/extend it depending on people’s answers.

However, regardless of whether we make changes to the schedule or not, you can still ask for extensions or any other arrangement or help you need! That’s what we mods are here for.

#faq #just trying to set up links for mobile users dont mind me

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365days365movies · 3 years

Text

Time for some adjustments.

Because lemme tell ya...it’s May, and I’m already tired.

Time to face the facts. 365 movies within a year is...difficult, especially when you have a full-time job, adult responsibilities, yaddayaddayadda. So, we’re gonna downshift gears a bit. I’m definitely gonna watch 365 films...but we’ll see if I get it done in a year. Sorry if anybody’s disappointed by this post, but I’d rather deliver quality posts to people, rather than burn myself out with work and movies. Plus, hey, I love movies; let’s not turn this into an actual chore.

Everything else? Staying the same. Here’s what that means.

Genre-by-month: I’ll still be watching movies of specific genres every month. Since there’s still a liiiiiiiittle bit of May left, look out for a few more science fiction reviews before this month ends. Especially one movie that I REALLY need to get to, and that I’ve hinted at all month. Look at my main blog page to understand a little bit more.

Recaps and Reviews: As you might have noticed, I’m missing a few Reviews. Again, that’s mostly just because of the overload I’ve been experiencing as of late. Well, no more of that. I’ll be making the time to get recaps and reviews done, and I’ll be keeping up with the main style of my posts up to know. Because, honestly...I kinda really enjoy doing this, especially when I’m not on a self-imposed deadline.

Schedule: We’ll get there. I’ll be sure to update thoroughly between reviews, and you’ll still see regular posts from me. Not sure how regular it’ll be yet, but I’m aiming for at least (at least) one per week. That’s actually practical! And eventually, when my schedule lets up, it’ll be more than that.

Other Posts: I’ll still be reposting a bunch of GIFsets from across this site, and they’ll often give an idea of what I’m watching currently. Some of those GIFsets will even be my own, probably! And who knows: I may write some short blurbs on those sets as well, depending!

Suggestion Box: This one’s new! If there are any films in a specific genre that you think I should watch or prioritize, tell me ASAP! I’ll add it to my mounting list, but I’ll definitely throw it in there if it isn’t already! If there are any films you think I need to see, PLEASE let me know!

Coming Soon: Another new addition! I’ll be updating my page every month with a list of films of the appropriate genre, with some proritized over others in terms of the ones I’m planning on watching, or that are on my Must-Watch List. I may diversify these posts over time, but that’s the current plan. At the end of this post, I’ll tell you what my plans are for May, and you’ll need to look for for June as well!

And so, for this post...

Well, almost. I know that this isn’t the best news for some of you, but I’m definitely still around. Maybe not a daily occurence, but I’m not sure how many of you check for me daily anyway. And if you do...well, geez. I’m truly touched. But I ask, stick around! There’s more to come. For May, for example...

And beyond that, well...next month is gonna be weird.

June: Experimental and Art House

#user365 #365 days 365 movies #365 movies 365 days #science fiction may #art house june #cinema #fil #film review #film essay #usergilli

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ohmyshownu · 3 years

Note

Hiiiii it's showbebe anon!!! It's been a while but i just saw that u left ur job & wanted to check in. You're doing awesome. That job seemed really draining & there are so many better places out there!!! U got this friend!!! Also, to quote the hamilton musical (lol), "Angelica reminds you, there's someone in your corner all the way across the sea" 🥰🥰 really happy for u & always rooting for u

(Also shownu's cosmopolitan shoot...my god. He is so. Hot. But also sooooo cute, nooooooo im not strong enoughhhhh😖😖)

a;skdf showbebe T____T hellooooo my friend 🥰 thank you so much for your warm encouragement! This job certainly had its downfalls, but I’m still very grateful for the experience and the ways it helped me become stronger. I’m super excited to be starting a new chapter in a new city! I move in just a few weeks so I’m currently going thru the pain of having to pack lol. I’ve never seen hamilton but that is such a lovely quote ;;; thank you for sharing it 🥰

ahhhhhaskldjas I saw that they JUST now released the behind the scenes like a year later lollll thank u cosmo for knocking us showbebes de*d again o(-( do you have a fave look from that shoot? I really like the green jacket with the mesh shirt under,,,,,whew what a treat!

uwu I hope you’re doing swell my love!!! Is life treating you okay? If not I will run over and force it too!!! >:/ huhu if you ever need anything I’m always here for you okay? <3 Under the cut I’ve put the rest of your asks that I’ve failed to answer in a timely manner......you’re so wonderful thank you for always coming back to shout with me about shownu and to give your support T^T

True_for_you15/status/1283376119710756866?s=19 here is sn cheesing HARD after mbb sang at the wrong time 😆

ilovejujumuch/status/1346401119866507264?s=19 sn doing a sexy dance??? Maybe??? Ppl were heralding this fansign vid as him being 30 & newly liberated lol, he's so goofy i love him🥰

jeonville/status/1345668933987127296?s=19 a ridiculously good jh cpt hook edit 👀

I hope u feel better or that these links at least briefly raise ur spirits 🤗🤗 - showbebe

HOOOOOKAY THAT JOOHEON ONE THOUGH SKDJFS he’s soooo *sweats* his stage charisma is really something else lorrrrddd i need to go lie down mister lee jooheon pls spare me OTL

Just stopping by to say that you are wonderful! I saw u reblogged this rlly pretty jjong gifset - shinee's lucifer was the very 1st kpop song i heard & i was immediately drawn to jonghyun. Absolutely love his voice 😊

i hope ur doing ok - there is someone on ur side over in this corner of the internet!! Here's cute & elegant shownu to raise ur spirits: twt narangayo/status/1404804831022309397?s=20 - showbebe anon🤗

jonghyun’s voice is so so so beautiful~ it’s like being wrapped in a warm blanket next to a fire while drinking a cup of tea or hot chocolate 😊 soothing and comforting, but can still take your breath away with its power and sincerity.

ahhh ballerina nunu !!! hehe cute ^-^ I love when he gets playful like that and just does whatever. Especially when whatever he’s done makes him smile and he gets those lil crinkles next to his eyes TT^TT

Hiiiiiiii its been a while, how are you doing?? This is showbebe anon. Our lovely dude is enlisting v soon, and i was feeling a bit bummed - but super happy he'll get time off from the hecticness of idol work & happy that he plans to still post. Thought I'd just drop by and see how you're doing! Sending u cute nunu vibes: NUGOMM/status/1335249193644904459?s=19

weeps I still can’t believe he’s enlisted. I’m like okay you’ve been gone long enough now! time to come back!!!!! but same, I’m happy he’ll have a more normal schedule and can rest and eat lots! What do you think about his nunu vlogs? I feel so spoiled that we get nunu-specific content! It was so sweet that the other members insisted on going to see him off T-T jooheon didn’t want to let him go *sobs*

ooooooooo smiling nunu thank youuu he’s so cute ;;;;; I looooved his hair from fatal love era maybe a little too much haha now he’s (nearly) bald (but still looks so dang good hello??!! that’s shownu for you--always so handsome!)

#replies #anon #showbebe anon #heh i forgot i made these cute lil goms line break a long time ago #your messages always make me so happy ;;;;#i truly hope you're doing well!!!#i need to pay more attention on twt so i can share cute nunu videos with you too :D #oh !! i read all the volumes of yona that are currently out!!!#now i just have to read the rest of the chapters online to catch up hehe #i don't think i'm too far behind? maybe like 20 chapters??#eeee can't wait to see what happens!!#okie i'm going to eat a snack now !! take care lovely!!!!!

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fmasecretsanta2020 · 4 years

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Interest Check Questions Answered!

Mods Tas, Waddi, and Flour have reviewed your interest check responses, adjusted our rules and schedule, and are ready to respond to all your questions about the event. To begin, we’ve pulled quite a few questions from your interest check responses and are publicly answering them below the cut.

Want to learn more about out the 2020 FMA Secret Santa? Check out our FAQ, rules and schedule.

Have a questions about this event? Don’t be shy! We’d love to respond. Send us a tumblr ask!

‘Tis almost the season! Sign-ups open on Monday, October 19, 2020!

I’m new in all of this, so I’d like to know what’s the purpose of the check-in dates. What do we have to do in those?

The first check-in is just to make sure that you are still interested in participating and are ok with your assignment. We understand that real life can get in the way sometimes. We ask that people let us know as soon as possible if they think they need to pull out. The second check-in is to ask when the gift will be posted. The reason for this is that last year we had several dropouts who confirmed they were going to make a gift at check-ins but did not post a gift. The second check-in will allow us to assign to pinch-hitter sooner.

-Mod Waddi

Maybe the second check-in is too close to the posting time? If a pinch-hitter is needed.

Thanks for your thoughts, anon. The second check-in is a little late, and we will adjust our schedule to give you five days between the second check-in and the posting period. However, we are keeping it at a later date for a pretty good reason.

Unfortunately, we assigned most of our pinch-hitters at the end of the posting period last year. We had several dropouts who confirmed with us at our midpoint check-ins but did not post a gift. To avoid that this year, we’re having two check-ins, and at the second check-in, we will ask you when you plan to post. We understand that some people need less time than others to complete a gift, but everyone should have started and have an ETA for completion five days before the posting period. A late second check-in might help us make sure everyone receives a gift on time!

-Mod Flour

Could you perhapse have multiple days for assignments incase someone has a personal issue with someone they are supposed to make content for and can let you know?

We certainly understand where you’re coming from with this suggestion. Unfortunately, since we give people 72 hours to respond to each moderator contact (and we will be asking our participants to confirm that they accept their assignment), separate assignment days would have to take place over (possibly) weeks—6 days at least for 2 assignments, 9 days for 3 assignments, 12 days for 4 assignments, etc.—if we waited for each wave of participants to accept before moving on to the next. We feel that this approach would significantly cut into the creation period. Additionally, the sign-up application will provide a space where you can list people that you do not want to receive a gift from or make a gift for. We encourage everyone to be honest on their application, and if someone is uncomfortable with the person they are assigned, contact a moderator sooner rather than later.

-Mod Flour

what about art styles that don't really do clean lineart but do include colors/complexity/etc, or multiple sketchier drawings/comic strip type things?

Thank you for this feedback. As writers, we appreciate you pointing this out. We will do our best to take this into account.

-Mod Waddi

A minimum of 8 gifs could be a lot if it's an edited gifset. I can see it being okay for a slightly colour-changed gifset with a filter over it, but for more creative gifs it can be way too much.

Thank you for this helpful feedback! This is exactly the kind of thing we want to hear. Admittedly, all three moderators are writers. We do our best to make good rules, but sometimes we don’t take all the variables into account. We’ll lower the minimum from 8 to 4.

-Mod Flour

I tend to write a lot when I get excited; would it be a problem if I write more than 1k?

Not a problem at all! We totally understand this excitement and allow our Secret Santas to produce at or above the required minimum for their specific type of gift. When creating these gifts, please take into consideration your assigned person’s likes and dislikes.

Two things to keep in mind:

1) Please consider the number of days for creation (a maximum of 47 days). Assignments will go out on November 15, with two check-ins occurring on December 1 and December 15. All gifts must be 100% complete before posting between December 21, 2020 and January 1, 2021.

2) If you decide to produce your gift above the required minimum, please do not expect your Secret Santa to do the same. As long as they meet the minimum requirement, it is considered a complete gift.

-Mod Tas

I think they're mostly fine, although, would ships that have them meet when one is a minor and the other an adult, but they're currently both adults be allowed? I understand that this exchange is a way to build bridges in the fandom, but I'm not sure if that's going to work if one of the most popular ships is completely excluded.

Yes, as long as you portray both characters as adults when including romantic or sexual content in your gift, you are free to ship whoever you’d like to (besides incest) no matter when they met. Our rules prohibit major/minor sexual or romantic relationships—minor meaning 17 years old and under and major meaning 18 years old or older. As long as you’re not including sexual or romantic tones that take place when one character is a minor within your otherwise adult/adult ship gift, we’re good. Keep it all non-sexual and non-romantic until both characters are adults.

(As an aside, some people may remember that this exchange had an additional exception for major/minor shipping for small age gap relationships last year; however, no one took advantage of that exception, and it complicated the rules quite a bit. Therefore, we decided to draw a hard line and leave it at that. There’s no judgment there; we’re just trying to craft rules that work for most people.)

Please also keep in mind that we also allow alternate universes and canon-divergent situations in this exchange. A hallmark of fandom is being free to imagine! We feel it would be almost impossible (and unfair to the differing, though equally valid points of view in the FMA fandom) to set ages for every character and then to enforce such a restrictive rule.

-Mod Flour

I think the exchange should allow M and E works, and to create/receive them you have to be 18+—but in order to not pressure minors to self-identity, have the question of whether they're over 18 be optional. (So it's basically, "If you're interested in NSFW and meet the age requirement, check this box.") And unless I misread the definition of pedophilia, it seems to exclude kid/kid relationships. Which I don't personally enjoy, but I know some people like kidfic or "through the years" fics, which are pretty harmless IMO as long as they're not physical/sexual.

We hear you anon. My fellow moderators and I have had many conversations about the rating of this event. We think it’s best to stick to a blanket PG-13 rating. However, there is a footnote that you might be interested in:

This Fullmetal Alchemist Secret Santa Gift Exchange takes no stance regarding “Mature” or “Explicit” content added to the original Secret Santa offering. Please post additional content separately from the Secret Santa offering (separate reblog, post, or additional chapter). Such additions or continuations are at the discretion of the gift giver.

The second part of your comment requires a more in-depth analysis. While there are some restrictions, kid/kid ships are not completely excluded. We exclude sexual interest, sexual attraction, or sexual relationships between any character and another character who is 13 years old or younger. We don’t have many shipping exclusions for characters who are 14-17 years old as long as they are shipped to other 14-17 year old characters.

Specifically, our rules prohibit pedophilia (which we define as a sexual interest, sexual attraction, or sexual relationship by any character to a character who is 13 years old or younger) and major/minor sexual or romantic relationships. While we regret that the pedophilia definition is overbroad, in that it can define someone under 16 years old as a pedophile, subdividing the rules further would make them even more complicated. To grasp the intent of both the pedophilia rule and the major/minor exclusion as it affects kidfics, look to our wording, particularly the part where we say sexual interest, sexual attraction, or sexual relationship.

To wit, sexual can be defined as, “relating to the instincts, physiological processes, and activities connected with physical attraction or intimate physical contact between individuals.” For example, if an 8 year old and a 9 year old hold hands and walk down the street having thoughts about how special they are to each other, we would not consider this sexual. If that same 8 year old and 9 year old hold hands and think about wanting to act intimately while jaunting down the street, we would consider that sexual. Innocent physical contact alone wouldn’t break the rule; it’s a character’s intent that matters most here.

Therefore, a participant can make a through-the-years work with a prepubescent setting included so long as any kid/kid shipping is not sexual in nature. To the extent that these rules may appear to allow romantic relationships between minors of all ages, all I have to say is that it wouldn’t be PG-13 to have a 9 year old with a romantic, albeit non-sexual, interest in a 16 year old (or vice versa). I haven’t run across a a lot of media with older minors being romantically linked to younger minors in the fandom, so I’m hopeful that we don’t need to be too worried.

Oh my, that was long. I hope that helps explain our rules a little better.

-Mod Flour

Just a question: out of curiosity, will this event be having a discord server or some other way for the members to talk to each other?

There will be no discord server for this event. Several reasons include:

1) Secret Santa identities should remain anonymous until posting dates. No participant should be able to figure out who their Secret Santa is,

2) we want to avoid conversations which may allude to a participant’s specific gift,

3) after a long consideration, the moderators have decided that this year’s event will be conducted via Tumblr platform only. All participants will need to have a Tumblr account in order to be contacted via the chat.

-Mod Tas

there are a lot of options for the type of gift that can be created-- can the person being gifted ask to have a specific gift (ex: art only)? thank you

Yes, the person being gifted can request for a specific gift. However, the sign up form will also ask for a backup gift type that the participant is willing to receive. The mods, to the best of our abilities, will match up a participant with a Secret Santa who will be able to produce said gift.

Assignments will go out on or after November 15, 2020. Should you have any concerns with the person assigned to you--their gift requests or otherwise, please contact one of the mods as soon as possible.

-Mod Tas

Will there be an option (if ships are allowed) to opt out of ships of adult/minor characters over the age of 13?

The sign up form will ask your likes and dislikes (i.e. favorite pairing or preferred genre), including what kind of gifts you are not and are willing to receive. If you prefer to opt out of a specific type of pairing, please note it during sign up.

Based on the rules of FMA Secret Santa 2020, “Media containing, suggesting, or portraying incest,* pedophilia**, or minor/major sexual or romantic relationships*** is prohibited.” The age of majority is defined as 18 years old.

Adult & minor relationships, which are non-sexual, non-romantic, and bear no indication that it would become such, are allowed. We are also allowing alternative universes, which may include characters depicted as younger or older than their canonical age. If a fanfic or a fanart depicts canonically minor characters as adults, they will need to explicitly state this.

-Mod Tas

If you are looking for other moderators to help facilitate, I'd be interested in filling out an application.

Oh, thank you! This is a really kind offer. We decided earlier this year not to run formal moderator applications, and we are unsure if we need any other moderators at this time. However, we may review this. If you’re interested in helping out, just message @waddiwasiwitch or @flourchildwrites on tumblr, and we’ll go from there.

-Mod Flour

I haven't participated in this before so I don't know if tvis is already a thing, but I think that during sign ups you should have the chance to write a list of topics, characters, and ships that you would rather not do for the exchange, because there's a difference between respecting ships from a distance and having to draw your notp.

Yes, an option for specifying likes and dislikes will be available in the sign up form. This is the case for both what gift you will create and receive. We will be matching people whose interests align, and we will take likes and dislikes into account. The more information provided in the form, the easier our job will be.

-Mod Waddi

Manga edits/colorings okay?

Yes, that's a wonderful gift! In fact, we're going to add manga edits/colorings to the category of gifts available by a recipient’s request or suggestion just to keep the idea at the forefront. If a participant requests a manga edit/coloring or if they say they are flexible on their application and you indicate you'd like to make one on your application, we'll do our best to send you their way during matching!

-Mod Flour

Are sculptures ok with this?

That is a very interesting question. As this gift exchange is entirely digital and doesn't involve physical gifts, we are unsure what that would look like. Us mods were talking about it, and we were wondering if it would be possible to show us an example of what a gift like that would look like. Please get in touch with either myself @waddiwasiwitch or mod @flourchildwrites by Tumblr message. We would need to know more to answer your question. When a gift is unusual, it means we need participants who will be open to such a gift too.

-Mod Waddi

#fma #fullmetal alchemist #gift exchange #secret santa #fmasecretsanta2020

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