#i have more feelings abt this list that boil down to it's okay to be aro or ace bc of trauma but i'll save them since i'm short on time and

[captainaikus]

Uh hi. I've never done something like this before but all I wanted to do is that I wanted to tell you how incredible your works are. It's amazing and tbh it makes me inspired to try make works of my own which probably won't go well since I lack the courage and motivation. I'm sorry for what happened to you earlier with that person being so quick to assume but overall I just hope you're all cooled down from what happened earlier. That's all, I just came here to tell you that. I hope you're doing okay and healthy both physically and mentally/emotionally? . Also as a reminder, pls remember to stay hydrated and eat at least something don't starve ahaha. Uh yeah anyways hope you for the best. 💕💗

-Anon 💙 (uh I've never done this before so pls don't uh mention my mistakes if there's any. I didn't reread this—)

Hi hi pretty! ٩꒰｡•◡•｡꒱۶

Tags : talks abt depression, mentions of coping mechanisms, and basically the reason why i started writing here

Thank you so much for reading my works! You have no idea how much it means to me to know that i inspired someone to write; even if my image isn't looking the best rn- but that's one of the faces of being a writer of any kind.

As for the writing part. So, I've been on tumblr for over four years, reading for the first three and posting things in the past one. The first post i made was a post regarding a Bakugou work and it was nsfw. I was really scared cause it was the first time i had done something so bold and i lacked the courage for it but i really wanted to get my work out there. and cause i was determined to, i decided that i was gonna do it. it wasn't the best back then cause i had no sense of a writing style- and now that i think about it my writing style was cringe. i have the mind to take those works down, but that is a sign of how much i worked to get here. from barely making a 100 likes, i made 200, crossed 300 and so on and have a lot of followers as well.

but for me it was never about the likes or followers i got, it was all about what i wanted to do and there is a whole list of that - some of them being that i wanted to make something self indulgent (yes i still read my tears, your comfort esp aiku's part before sleeping on bad days and i'm making more works) or could be because i wanted to get an opinion out here as a way of expressing myself; but most of all it was creating content for you guys. Cause i know a lot of people comfort on tumblr. and when i wasn't doing so well in my later teen years, i took to tumblr to comfort cause it was healthy coping mechanism - and reading things here had always made my day. and i wanted to do that for someone.

I know that the first move always seems scary, there will be trips and stumbles along the way, there will be times when you feel sad about not getting likes or the drop in followers or have a rivaling author/ writer, times when you have your idea stolen- as it has happened with me before. but that shouldn't stop you; now my writing is purely for the purpose of self satisfaction and the itch of writing an idea that can make someone's day.

That's my motivation and rather than forcing an idea, it is best to let it come to you naturally and taking your time with it. Enjoy writing the fic and it really shows in your work. don't sweat the details, that comes with the more you practice. and if you need advice or writing tips come over to my side blog or ask away here. I'd be happy to help! (๑•͈ᴗ•͈)

As for how i'm doing? kinda sleepy. Happens when i'm emotionally stressed out or having my blood boil from something someone said. As for the anon, i got one sentence : jumped to conclusions too early and even tried to interrogate me And since i wasn't having any of it, cause i don't have to prove myself to anyone, i deleted it - like this person doesn't even know me and were quick to assume things abt me; and decided to sleep over the fic and move onto the next best thing - making more fics and enjoying it cause i am not gonna let someone behind an anon affect me ꒰✿ˊᗜˋ ꒱ ‹3

I had a sub sandwich with water and listened to ice cream by heiakim to cheer myself up ૮ ෆ ´ ˕ ` ෆ ა

i know this thing isn't permanent and it shall pass- but thanks for dropping in! Do you want an anon in case you want to come back an just rant or talk? whatever you want really ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ♡

[asterekmess]

Been seeing you getting hate mail and while I absolutely can't understand why anyone would go to all the trouble to make some one else feel bad... I also kinda really love the discourse on Scott? Like YOUR RANTS oh man. On point. Always. Tbh I tried giving Scott a chance... He is the main char after all... But I was like??? Wtf? That dude does nothing but refute others and does whatever he wants. And this was when I didn't particularly like Stiles either (first time watching Teen Wolf). But then I got to know more of him and like Tony he went asshole to lovable asshole—seriously, Stiles might not be the ‘nicest’ but he tries and his heart is in good place—while Scott is just... self-righteous. Someone pointed out that he sees people as possessions and that irks me too that I can actually see it being true. The dude has literally nothing going on except for being the one that gets bitten. And the Romeo-and-Juliet-esque romance he has.

Okay, okay, where was I going with this?? Right. LOVE YOUR RANTS. People need to understand that Scott not being liked isn't because of his race or anything trivial like it—he just happens to be—but because of his actions. Or inactions, as it were. *remembers the pool scene and Scott saying he's busy and resists the urge to chuck a shoe at him*

Basically, love you, love your work, and love your words! ❤️

I've talked with some friends about it, and our number one issue sort of...boiled down to the hypocrisy of the show? I....sort of rant a lot here, and I would add a Read More, but I can't find the option anymore?? I fucking hate Tumblr. EDIT: I found a post that told me how to do it!

So, since he's the character I focus on the most, let's talk about Stiles' morality. Because, you're right. Stiles is an asshole. He does some fucking awful shit in the first season, and even if he had a Reason to do it, it was still bad. And I still don't like it. But I understand it.

Stiles' lack of shits about what is 'lawful' is literally established in the first ten seconds of the show. He's a sheriff's son who sneaks onto people's roofs in the middle of the night bc they aren't answering his calls, who listens in on his dad's work conversations and is willing to fuck up a crime scene because he's so excited about getting to see a dead body. He doesn't care about laws. He doesn't even care about most basic manners (invasion of privacy much, with having Scott sniff Lydia to see if she liked him?). He's a dickhead, even to the people he cares about sometimes. But personality and morality aren't the same. Stiles' entire actual morality system is based around whatever he needs to do to keep the people he loves safe and happy. Lying to his dad so he doesn't get murdered by hunters? Totally fine. Telling Scott that it was "Jackson's own fault" that Scott attacked him with superstrength and dislocated his shoulder, so Scott doesn't feel like an asshole? That's just best friend duties! He will lie, steal, cheat, and he will kill to keep his loved ones safe (let's not forget this boy threw molotovs at Peter, knowing damn well what they would do to him). We can headcanon all we want about all the different people who are in this group of loved ones, but the list is canonically very short: Scott, his dad, and Lydia. Later on, like, past s3B? It includes Derek. Canonically. Stiles puts his life and the lives of others he cares about on the line while he lies to the matriarch of the Calavera hunter clan, to save Derek Hale. Derek is just canonically a part of that group now, and he fucking knows it bc Stiles is his anchor (that's canon too bb). End of Story, Sterek or no Sterek. It's why we get that insane number of lookbacks when Derek is dying before his evolution. Because Stiles is being forced to choose between two people who are BOTH in his ride-or-die group. He Cannot Pick between Scott and Derek, until Derek begs him to leave.

SO, yes, Stiles does fuckface things, and I don't always agree with what he does, but it is ACCURATE TO HIS CHARACTER. He is morally grey. He NEVER CLAIMS to be pure or good or just or righteous. Stiles knows who he is, and he stays true to himself. And I love him for that.

The same goes for a bunch of other characters! For Peter, who is strikingly similar to Stiles, in that family goes above literally everything. Screw the idea that he was following Derek around waiting for the chance to steal back the Alpha spark. That man put his life on the line (his second life, no less) to get the shit beaten out of him until Derek let him help save Derek's life Again and Again. Family Comes First.

Scott's morality is...confusing as fuck. I thought at first he was similar to Stiles, in that family came first, but...while he's protective of his mother, he also does a lot of stuff that puts her at risk without seeming to care/worry (like leaving Peter alone with her once Stiles hits their car, so he can chase Jackson) (or asking her to come to the high school when he's convinced there's a bomber in it)? Seriously, he's more protective over Allison, than his mother. It's very black and white the rest of the time. Very "this bad" "this good." And if you do "bad" then you are bad forever, while if you do "good" you are only good until you do "bad." The Betas were "good" until they asked for the bite, and then they were "Bad." Derek was "bad" when Scott met him and scared him, so after that, no matter how much "good" he did, he remained "bad." But only when it suits him. Allison is good even when she does bad, because he wants her to be good. Chris is good even though he's done mountains of bad, because of the minuscule amount of good that Scott has seen him do, because Scott wants him to be good. Even DEUCALION is good, despite the crazy CRAZY amount of bad he's done and despite having seen him do NO GOOD, just because Scott wants him to be good. Lying to those closest to you is bad, unless Scott is doing it, and then it's good, because he knows HE is good. Killing people is bad, unless Scott is doing it. Letting villains go is bad, unless Scott is doing it. Biting people is bad, unless Scott is doing it. Protecting family is good even if it requires killing or lying, unless it's not Scott doing it. Revenge for past slights is good, unless it's not SCOTT doing it. And you try to understand it! You try to say, okay, then he's morally grey, got it. He plays with the rules to suit his own morality, whatever. Except that Scott, the other characters, and THE SHOW ITSELF, are all telling you otherwise! They all say that Scott is morally pure. That he is good and righteous and lawful. That he always does the "right" thing, and that when he does "bad" things, it's justified and he had to. THE HEAVENS THEMSELVES say Scott is somehow better or more righteous than the other characters by MAKING HIM AN ALPHA OUT OF NOWHERE. (I'm talking abt canon here, not going into deaton conspiracy theories) It's like....Like in the hate mail response I did, where I pointed out that Every Single Thing people get angry at Derek for doing, Scott did too. Lying, killing (or at least attempting it), attacking innocents, losing his temper, keeping secrets, refusing to work with someone who could help, etc etc etc. Everything Derek has done that is morally "wrong," Scott has also done. And that's okay! Doing a bad thing doesn't make you a bad person, and even if it did, Scott is ALLOWED to be bad! GO FOR IT.

Except that he is sinless. It isn't that he learns from the bad things he does, it's that they aren't treated like bad things in the first place. Because Scott did it, and Scott always does the right thing.

Derek's behavior is reprehensible at times, but the show ADMITS that and frames it as bad. Frames it as him doing a bad thing when he scares Isaac or throws Peter or tells Erica who to date. And that's fine, because Derek is established as not being morally pure.

But SCOTT IS. And because they were so desperate to make him continue being "Pure" they didn't frame the things he did as wrong, or if they did, they absolved him of it immediately, using the exact same reasoning that works for Derek's situations, but this time Actually Accepting it.

He scares Stiles, well it's because he's scared. He throws Isaac, it's because he's upset. He attacks Jackson well it's because Jackson was being a dick. He orders Allison to date Matt, well he had a goal to accomplish. Every reason is treated like a fucking doctor's note that erases the bad things he does.

Being scared, or angry, or retaliating to someone being an asshole, or trying to protect himself, was NEVER a good enough reason for Derek to do ANYTHING "Bad." It was never an acceptable excuse.

IF IT WERE: If the show were making a statement about how fallable people are, how they do bad things, but they do them for a REASON. How people will do wild and terrible things out of fear, and how that doesn't make it less bad, but it makes it understandable, so don't demonize them out of nowhere. If that were the case, I would HAVE BEEN FINE WITH IT.

Scott is held to COMPLETELY different standards than everyone else in the show! And I DON'T mean that people held him to higher ones. They dropped that bar so fucking low. Anything was allowed, and any excuse was good enough.

He made out with a girl who was dating someone else, who his best friend was in love with? It's just the full moon, he's angsty about losing Allison. He ducttapes Liam to a bathtub and starts throwing random phrases at him that he hated Derek for saying to him? He's freaked out! He doesn't know what to do with a bitten wolf! It was an accident! He works with a mass murderer behind people's backs without telling them the whole story? Am I talking about Gerard or Deucalion? Who fucking knows. Either way, it's okay, because he was protecting his family. He plots to murder a cancer patient slowly and painfully by replacing meds that likely included painkillers with mountain ash, and the uses someone else's body to deliver the killing blow, and it's okay because he was just being smart! He was just working ten steps ahead! He was saving his mom and the whole town! Who cares if it DIDN"T WORK?

He walks into his ex-girlfriend's hotel room and scares the SHIT out of her while she's naked and alone in the shower? It was the wolfsbane. It doesn't matter that no one else's impulses included HARASSING someone. He lies to his girlfriend's face about her own life because he doesn't think it's important enough for her to know (who am I talking about, come on, take a guess, which one is it? Allison or Kira? Trick question: it's both). He was just being kind! He didn't want to worry her! He didn't want to make her feel bad! She didn't need to know!

I'm so far off track it's not even funny. My point was that Everything the other characters in the show are demonized for or framed as evil or bad or wrong for doing, Scott is shown to do and it's treated like at minimum a comedy, if not a Perfect Brilliant Strategic Move.

God, fucking hell. I mean, the PARALLELS you see in this show, between Scott and others. The scene of Alexander Argent going to the hotel after being bit? That bit where he pulls his shirt up in the mirror? It's a near PERFECT replica of Scott looking at his bite at Deaton's. They paralleled SCOTT MCCALL with AN ARGENT. Deaton has this whole line in S2 where he's bitching at Derek about "the person you should trust the most doesn't trust you at all" And then seasons later, we have Scott look his best friend in the eye and refuse to trust him, only to get upset later because Stiles doesn't want to work with him anymore and he "lost them." Scott goes running into Derek's house in S1 to accuse him of killing the bus driver, and when he can't get a real response, he EGGS HIM ON by accusing him of Murdering his SISTER, just to get Derek to react. Which is the EXACT same thing Kate did when she showed up and wanted Derek to lose his temper. Scott is CONSTANTLY paralleled with villains and assholes, and constantly does the things that others are persecuted for. But instead of feeling regret or learning something from it, instead of growing AT ALL. Those actions are treated as good. We are told they are righteous. And clever. That they are what heroes do. AND YES: There are parallels between Derek and Stiles' behaviors and villains/morally grey characters! Of course there are!

BUT THEY AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE THE TRUE ALPHA MAIN CHARACTER. SCOTT IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE GOOD GUY. HE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO MIMIC/EMULATE THE VILLAINS, AND HE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE REWARDED WHEN HE DOES IT ANYWAY.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again; I understand the urge to think that the Teen Wolf writers did all of this on purpose. That they built Scott up as an unreliable narrator, so that we're forced to come to terms with a protagonist who isn't good, and we watch them fall into a villainous role while thinking all the while they are a hero. That all these parallels are intentional and the writers just couldn't Tell us what was going on bc they didn't have enough power.

And sometimes I play into it. I will lie to myself about Scott being the 'narrator' of the entire show, and that we're seeing it all through his eyes so of course things are biased and conflicting, just so I can actually Enjoy watching it.

But I think it's absolute bullshit that this was done on purpose. It wasn't. The parallels appeared because they Wanted Scott to do the badass things that they had all the villains doing, throwing people and being sneaky and clever, and stopping the bad guy, and they didn't want to deal with the fact that they were having him do bad things. So they just pretended he wasn't and refused to acknowledge that they'd already punished other people for doing the same exact shit, but somehow Scott was getting rewarded. They wanted Scott to be the hero, so they made him the hero, and screw everybody else.

[drabbles-of-writing]

Hey Drab can you tell use what other Au's you have planned also feel free to make a whole list we would love to hear your ideas :) !

okay SO disclaimer; I don’t plan on posting or writing abt other aus anytime soon, I still wanna catch up on the other ones (aside from Ninjago or Storybook I might post for those soon) BUT here are a few ideas I have YET to write but want to and have written at least Something for

Ninjago AU: Y’all already heard of this one. Got a whole 5 chapter thing planned you don’t even KNOW

Storybook AU: Started a one shot, haven’t touched it in a few weeks. I’ll Get To It

Mafia AU: I have the ideas,,,,,nothing else skjethkrjthkrjth

Society AU (aka the only new AU I have anything written down for): Do y’all know the game Inside by Playdead? The Blackout Club? the Cyberpunk aesthetic? mash that shit together. the gangs in a world were government doing like mind experiments on unknowing townsfolk of isolated Bonesborough, who have no idea the rest of the Boiling Isles (the Bigger Area) is in decaying shambles of failed experiments. Luz has a dope cyberpunk mask, she vibes in the cornfields w her friends, occasionally fights the Blights who work w the scientists, Eda is one of the Boiling Isles survivors who isn’t from Bonesborough, its a whole Thing. More heavily based off Inside, but we have a few other elements here and there.

Wolfwalkers AU: God its been so long,,,,,I probably still want to start this someday? I don’t even know anymore but my temptation is still there I Swear

Cryptid AU: SOMEDAY,,,,SOMEDAY I’LL WRITE AT LEAST A SINGLE ONE SHOT FOR THIS BULLSHITTERY,,,,,,,,,

Siblings AU: Yeah,,,,,,I have a one shot planned for it,,,,,,its abt B!Luz teasing her sisters for being bi for green girl when shes also bi for green girl,,,,,,yes I gave them names,,,,,,,,,,what of it

[thegeminisage]

additions & modifications to this list can now be found in the ace character post tag. keep it going!!

here is a list of other characters besides breath of the wild zelda (who i already mentioned is demisexual) who are on the aro/ace spectrum also written by Me, An Asexual™:

sans & papyrus from undertale (aro/ace, toby fox told me so himself behind a walmart dumpster)

varric tethras from dragon age (asexual and ???romantic, It’s Complicated™ with bianca - but he could be aro/ace because he’s an arrow ace!)

josephine montilyet from dragon age (asexual and biromantic, only romance-able character with no sex scene aside from solas who i could also make a decent case for)

the real sherlock holmes, bbc’s queerbaiting bullshit can kiss my queer ass (also aro/ace, do i even need to explain this one, the oldest aro/ace character Ever)

lightning farron (aromantic & homosexual, one of the only ff protags not to get ANY sort of romance arc, not even HINTS, has enough trouble with feelings without bringing romance into it)

katniss everdeen from the hunger games (aro/ace as evidenced by her complete ????? when she was trying to play up her romance on camera)

erik lensherr from xmen (demisexual and biromantic, dude can carry on a relationship w/ someone long enough for them to get fridged but you never see him initiate it unless he’s trying to manipulate someone)

castiel from supernatural and DON’T laugh at me for still having supernatural opinions (asexual, ???romantic, doesn’t really get sexual attraction like at all but he still loves dean winchester)

speaking of supernatural, claire novak from @cambionverse (aro, mostly heterosexual but possibly with some bi leanings she doesn’t want to act on for personal reasons) ben collins is aro/ace, jesse turner is maybe demisexual but panromantic

derek hale from teen wolf, don’t laugh at me for still having teen wolf opinions either!! (asexual, possibly demisexual but not aromantic, while he has no problem falling in love he almost never initiates sexual encounters and seems uncertain in them & while this may be because he was sexually abused (that thing w/ kate was abuse, don’t test me) i prefer to think it’s because he doesn’t experience sexual attraction or only experiences it rarely/only for ppl he really cares about)

natasha romanoff from the mcu (aromantic bc in general everything she’s been thru has kinda fucked her ability to figure out feelings. not asexual tho, likes to bang)

lucy penvensie from narnia (aro/ace, it just never interested her even in the timeline where she grew up)

toph from avatar (aromantic, didn’t seem that bothered by the fact that it didn’t work out w/ her husband & never really got with anybody else)

hannelore ellicott-chatham from questionable content (not sure where on the spectrum she is but this is Canon)

merida from brave (aromantic as evidenced by her total lack of interest in marriage even as a someday thing, POSSIBLY asexual as well since she’s in her midteens and seemingly has yet to show that kind of interest in anyone)

L from death note (has anyone ever embodied “cake > sex” so well in their entire lives? no i didn’t think so)

luna lovegood from harry potter (demisexual, typically not interested until she forms a connection with someone)

technically i also think jkr said somewhere charlie weasely was aro/ace bc he’s too busy thinking about dragons

remus lupin from harry potter is queer but he also gives me gray-ace vibes it’s difficult to say.

faith connors from mirror’s edge (aro and possibly on the ace spectrum as well, too busy saving the world and doing kickass parkour to care about all of that)

and there’s nothing you can do about it (ง'̀-'́)ง fite me

& also pls reblog with YOUR Asexual Faves™

[ladyfl4me]

I know you like that good sweet worldbuilding, sooooo if you could add just one thing to amnesty canon, what would it be?

JUST ONE THING? JESUS FUCKING CHRIST YOU CAN’T DO THAT TO ME. THAT’S NOT FAIR. I’ll give you options and then, in a hypothetical universe, I’ll pick one and Make It So for amnesty canon. it’s almost 1:30 in the morning where i am rn, so bear with me.

If i may, for the first one, i would do a switch: i would remove the reconciliation in its entirety, and make the villain some sort of political intrigue/antagonistic force within Sylvain, making the light figures from there instead. I’m basically just spitballing all the things that I am going to do in TCOS here, but like. 

Okay, by keeping things centered on Sylvain, that would be a powerful thing to add. It could have been a possible domino for Griffin to push to do more Sylvain worldbuilding, and make them more fascinating as a society for the protagonists to interact with. Griffin called Earth and Sylvain sister planets, and then didn’t follow through on that connection at all, making it an artificial bond by fantasy space America trying to start a puppet war. Christ. You can’t reduce an entire planet down to one culture and set of political ideals. By making the villains have a more direct relationship to Sylvain, you might get a hell of a lot of nuance. 

That’s not to say i didn’t like the Reconciliation plotline; i think it was really thematically interesting and had a lot of symbolic weight. I just feel like it superseded a lot more interesting potential ones in Sylvain, which got abandoned. Like! The exiles thing! Dani canonically has parents and a brother-- what’s up with them? The drama surrounding that!  How do the councilmembers relate to each other? What are their individual politics? Alexandra’s dead fucking father - what kind of society puts a child  in charge, unless it’s a dire fucking emergency? What happened to her dad? What’s their technology like? Their culture? Their music? What has Sylvain done to try and stymie the quell in the past, before they got to where they are today? Why has that failed? A gateway to all of this could have been opened if Griffin had decided to make Sylvain as a whole more significant, and while the “these two forces are actually being threatened by a third greater power” thing is cool, i wasn’t entirely convinced.

And if i couldn’t remove the reconciliation, i would add this: there are other sylvan communities all over earth like the lodge. The lodge is a microcosm for a much bigger sociocultural migratory phenomenon that crosses galaxies. The two planets have been connected for centuries, if not millennia; you cannot look me in the eyes and tell me that there aren’t sylvan communities embedded near major geothermal hotspots the world over. 

“wait tin don’t they need energy to survive -” Barclay and Indrid had those crystals, and those kept them alive well enough. I specifically cite Indrid because that guy never once showed up at the hot springs for a dip, and seemed to be just fine living off his crystal - whereas the exiles who didn’t have a crystal had to make do with the springs. Like. Just imagine a whole society of crystal-wearing sylphs operating a society in the woods near a ski resort in Colorado, or a few miles from Yellowstone. Or a bunch of sylphs who’ve wired crystals to [throws dart] Manhattan’s power grid, and have created a gentle web of pseudo-sylvan energy over the whole city to give the sylphs and their descendants there sustenance. The idea of there being sylphs who were exiled to earth and formed their own communities - or sylphs who left lawfully and formed their own communities near gate locations, having children and settling on earth - is fascinating to me, and is completely in line with the lore griffin already has set out given how the gate travels.

I know you said just one thing, but i am still sitting here and thinking... If i wasn’t going to make it a worldbuilding thing, i would make it a character thing. I would dig the knife with stern to make him more of a developed character in arcs three through to the end - or at least make him more of a bad guy. I’ve talked about the “stern looks out the window during the post-arc-3 interlude, catches Boyd Mosche taking pictures of the lodge before his meetup with Ned, intercepts him, makes the mistake of hearing him out, and teams up with him in a quid pro quo effort to take down Ned in exchange for shade tree” AU at LENGTH. It is one of my favorite Amnesty AU concepts to think about. I still think that those two would be an absolute villainous powerhouse if they’d met in canon. (i have my own thoughts about them, related to the versions that show up in TCOS and TMWCIFTC, that i’ve been sitting on for longer than I’d care to admit, but, well. That’s for another time. Yes that’s an invitation to ask me to yell abt it if you’d like, their development in TCOS has taken a fucking U-turn that i’ve been excited about for a while and i like talking about my fic lskdjlskdjf) 

But if not that, I would probably just make Stern quit the fucking FBI, man. Idk what to tell you, the only good cops are the ones that quit and the fact that he stayed an FBI agent, with a team there observing the gate, and was implied to be rewarded with a romantic relationship with his former prey, never sat right with me. I could accept it if he left the FBI and was shown to try and make up for his mistakes. Four good deeds for every bad, and all that jazz. But alas.

I know i listed three things but hey, these would not all be implemented simultaneously. It’d just be one. So it still kind of counts! A lot of this bitching boils down to the fact that Amnesty-the-story and Amnesty-the-DND-roleplay-podcast are not necessarily the same level of quality in my head; as an overarching story, I think Amnesty might have worked better as a TV show or book series, in terms of its narrative, even though the TTRPG aspects of its execution were awesome. A lot of things I would want to add would suit this podcast as a Balance-length epic or a piece of textual narrative literature, not necessarily a podcast. Sorry for the long answer, it is 1:30 am and i just think a lot about the holes in amnesty meta and What Could Have Been because my specific AU bread and butter is trying to patch them lsjdflksjdf

ask me anything! all asks will be answered

[love-dreams]

together thick and thin

jimin/reader | college!au | genre: angst, fluff

synopsis: Jimin doesn’t know how his idiot friend could have dated you when he can’t even get you to notice him.

contents: friends to lovers, mentions of alcohol, break ups, mild swearing

note: THANKS FOR 100 NOTES!!!! here’s my first fic in celebration, jesus i respect all fic writers so much more now, it’s so hard to finish a fic...

wc: 2.5k

song rec: hellevator by stray kids, shoot me by day6

⇁⇁⇁⇁⇁⇁⇁

You sighed when another one of your roommates handed you her pile of laundry to fold, an apologetic smile on her face. You didn’t mean to get drunk, all you had wanted was to relax and get to know some people...

But obviously your dumb butt couldn’t stay away from the drinks, you cursed at yourself. 

Huffing angrily, you dump all the laundry out from the basket onto the floor of your room.

“Hey, you good?” a voice called from the doorway.

Looking up, you see Jimin leaning on the doorframe, a sucker in his mouth, a worried expression on his face. You force a smile at him and pull your hair up into a ponytail. 

“Here, I’ll help.”

Before you can make out a reply, Jimin’s already walking closer to where you were sitting on the floor of your room. 

“You look pretty miserable, [Y/N],” he said while squatting down next to you. “You know, if you don’t want to go to the parties you don’t have to.”

“I want to go!” you swatted him aside with a pout on your face and started to fold the first piece of laundry. “I’m doing fine, I promise. Don’t worry about me. Although I may not want to drink another sip of beer after this.”

Jimin chuckled and grabbed the first shirt he could see to neatly fold it on his lap.

“I’m kinda worried about you,” he whispered underneath his breath. “I don’t like to see you drunk, and heck, I know it hasn’t been easy for you, but hang in there, okay?”

You ignore his words for a while before sighing and continuing to fold the laundry. 

“I know, Jimin. I’m trying to move on. It’s just...I just feel like I’m never gonna find someone right for me, Chim.”

In response to your comment, Jimin could only smile sadly. 

⇁⇁⇁⇁⇁⇁⇁

“Hey, aren’t you Jungkook’s ex?” 

You froze in fear before scrambling to pick up your things even faster, throwing your notebooks into your backpack, scrambling to rise to your feet.

“Whoa, chill.”

You looked down at your feet before replying meekly, “I think you’ve got the wrong person,” and then trying to squeeze past him out of the classroom. Suddenly, you felt something pull you back to that mysterious person. 

Looking back at him, you tugged at your arm frantically, trying to make him loosen his grip. Seeing your panic, Jimin released your arm immediately, apologizing profusely.

“I’m so sorry about that. I didn’t mean to startle you or anything. I was just curious since…”

Before he could continue, you were already out the door.

⇁⇁⇁⇁⇁⇁⇁

It was after another party that Jimin decided that it was enough. He couldn’t stand the sight of you drinking your sorrows away and becoming a mess afterward. 

“Jimin…” you moaned out as he tried to get you to sit in the cab. You threw his hands off of you and defiantly stared into his eyes before breaking out into a drunken smile. “Why you...so serious…? I wanna go back and paaaarty!”

Jimin sighed, “C’mon [Y/N],” before opening the door and motioning you to get in. You pouted at him but still got into the car by yourself. He let you lay on his lap to sleep for awhile before taking out his phone to text the others. 

As he was texting, he heard some murmurs come out of your mouth and gently leaned closer to listen.

“Kookie….why you leave me?” 

Hearing you talk about your ex made Jimin’s blood boil, but as your best friend all Jimin could do in response is sigh and shush you.

“I’m not Jungkook, [Y/N]. Remember? I’m Jimin-”

Jimin froze in shock when you threw your arms around him, drunkenly whispering into his body, “I miss you sooooo much, Kookie…Why...”

And that was when Jimin’s heart dropped. It wasn’t the fact that you still missed your ex that made him heartbroken. It was the fact that Jimin was never going to be enough.

It was during that car drive, that Jimin experienced the pain of unrequited love. 

You woke up with one hell of a hangover just as Jimin had predicted. Your head was pounding, and you stank of sweat and alcohol. Groaning, you stumbled into the bathroom to get yourself cleaned up, taking a shower to wash off the smell of sweat. When you came downstairs, there was a bowl of ramen and a note saying, “Eat this to feel better. -Jimin”. You smiled at Jimin’s cute handwritten note and sat down to enjoy your breakfast. Pulling out your phone, you quickly texted Jimin a message.

> thx for taking care of me! 💜💜 

Within a few seconds, a ding was heard from your phone, and you quickly picked it up to read Jimin’s response.

< no prob.

Frowning at Jimin’s cold reply, you felt just a little guilty for getting drunk at a party again, but you shrugged it off. Jimin should be used to you being hungover anyway. 

It was just your way of grieving. 

⇁⇁⇁⇁⇁⇁⇁

“You know...Jungkook isn’t that great.”

You ignored Jimin’s comment and continued typing on your computer.

“Hey!”

Jimin shut your laptop to reveal his grinning face. 

“[Y/N]...give me attention,” he pouted.

You rolled your eyes at Jimin, before opening your laptop again and trying to focus on writing your essay. “Go to someone else, Jimin. I’m trying to work here.”

Jimin pouts one more time at you before giving up and turning back to face the front of the auditorium. Suddenly, you heard a pencil being slammed down on the desk, causing you to look up in surprise. 

Jimin grinned at you and placed down the folded piece of paper daintily before skipping out of the auditorium to meet his friend. 

Shaking your head in annoyance, you pick up the note anyway and read it.

“Jungkook isn’t that great if he couldn’t see how cute you are 💜 -Jimin”.

After finishing, you couldn’t help but notice your mood change. Smiling, you slipped the note into your coat pocket, and continued back to your work.

⇁⇁⇁⇁⇁⇁⇁

It’s been two weeks since that party and Jimin has decided that it’s best if he keeps his distance.

For the sake of your friendship with him. 

But it’s so hard not to text you every so often to make sure you’re okay, or to meet up after classes, and he’s sure that you’ve noticed that he’s been avoiding you. Jimin admits that he’s a coward. He knows he doesn’t have the courage to confess his feelings because he’s scared. But Jimin also knows that your breakup has negatively impacted you and he doesn’t want to push things too fast. At the end of the day, Jimin acknowledges his duty as a friend first. 

All he ever wanted was for you to be happy.

Ruffling his hair, Jimin shakes out thoughts of you and tries to concentrate on his homework, but his concentration doesn’t last long when he hears his phone ringing.

Jimin already knows the caller ID is you, but still hesitates to pick up.

“Hey, Jimin!” 

Jimin cringed when he heard your chirpy voice out of the phone. Calming his racing heart, he replied monotonically, “What’s up?”

“Um...Well we haven’t met up for awhile and there’s a new movie out! Wanna see it together?”

Jimin’s heart pounded uncontrollably as blood rushed through his head. “I-I...I don’t think I can go, sorry [Y/N].”

What you said after that was blurry to him, but when you hung up, all Jimin could do is sigh in relief. He slumped down in his chair and ruffled his hair in frustration again as he picked up his pen and started doing his homework.

Jimin just couldn’t get you out of his head.

Over the next few days, Jimin flooded himself with to-do lists, busying himself to the point of exhaustion. Anything to get his mind off of you. He spent hours in the school practice room by himself to perfect choreography and missed meals lots of times. It got to the point that even you had noticed even when Jimin was ignoring you. 

You reached out to Jimin multiple times only to be turned down over and over again. You were almost at your breaking point with Jimin before you received a text. 

< Can we meet up?

< i need to talk to you abt smthing

Confused and worried, you quickly texted back:

> chim, you okay?

> sure when and where?

You waited for a while for his response, pacing back and forth in your small apartment. 

< yeah i’m fine.

< on the rooftop your place. tomorrow 9

Sighing in relief, you agreed.

> okay!

⇁⇁⇁⇁⇁⇁⇁

Jimin doesn’t know what he was thinking when he sent you that text. What did he even want to talk about? Maybe he just wanted to see you.

“Urgh, Tae, what do I do?”

“Just tell her you liker her, man. Ain’t that hard,” Taehyung replied from his seat on the couch, not even looking up from his phone. 

Kicking the couch in frustration, Jimin bursted out, “Hey, pay attention! I’m actually being serious!”

Looking up, Taehyung looked surprised at his friend’s sudden outburst. Suddenly, Jimin felt bad for taking out his anger on Taehyung, and quickly apologized.

“I’m sorry Tae. It’s just... things have been a mess recently.”

Lately it felt like all of Jimin’s emotions have been on edge and now, they were finally bubbling over. 

Taehyung nodded understandingly, putting down his phone for good measure. “I get it. But I still think that you should talk to her. You’re not being fair by keeping her in the dark, y’know?” 

Jimin sighed, knowing that Taehyung was right. “Yeah, I know. We’re gonna meet up tomorrow.” 

Taehyung smiled, showing his boxy smile and clapped his friend on the back, “You got this, man!” 

That night, Jimin lied awake in bed, pondering about all the possibilities that could go wrong. Worst case scenario? You hate him forever and stop being his friend. Best case scenario? You like him back. 

Jimin already ruled out that best case scenario. You had long shown him that you weren’t interested in any romantic love with Jimin. That best case scenario was more imaginary than a scenario.

Although it’s already been half a year since Jungkook broke up with you, Jimin knew that you were still devastated and he just couldn’t put his own interests above yours. It just wasn’t fair to you.

By morning, Jimin had made up his mind. 

⇁⇁⇁⇁⇁⇁⇁

“Oh my gosh, guys, what am I going to do?” you sobbed on the living room couch.

You were currently freaking out in the living room with all of your roommates surrounding you. Why? Because you were scared that Jimin hates you now. 

“Just hear him out, [Y/N]. You’ve been friends for like half a year now, what’s the worst that could happen?” said Rosé, from her spot on the carpet.

I pushed him away.

“I think Jimin’s proved himself trustworthy, don’t you think?” continued Nayeon. 

I forced all my grief onto him.

“If he turns out to be an asshole, I’ll kick his ass, don’t worry about it,” assured one of your roommates. 

I’m responsible. 

After all your roommates had their turn talking to you and left for the night, you sat on the carpet of your bedroom, feeling still a little stressed. 

Hearing the door creak open, you lifted your head to show red eyes and tissues surrounding you. Irene was standing at the doorway this time, with a worried expression on her face.

It reminded you of how Jimin had looked a few weeks ago.

“[Y/N], are you feeling alright?” asked Irene kindly, not wanting to disturb you.

You shook your head, took a tissue, and blew into it hard.

Sighing, Irene walked over to where you were sitting, threw all the tissues into the trash bag she was carrying, and plopped down right by you. 

“I think...that you’re thinking about it too much. I know that you’re worried, but think about it like this. You guys have been together thick and thin. Don’t let something as trivial as this get in between the two of you.”

You looked up at the ceiling, trying to blink away your tears. “I just...feel like I pushed another person away. Just like Jungkook.”

Irene nodded understandingly, “I get what you’re feeling, but Jimin’s shown you unconditional support ever since Jungkook broke up with you. The two of you are practically best friends! Do you really think that Jimin would leave you like Jungkook?”

Slowly, you started to agree with Irene. Jimin wasn’t like Jungkook. Jimin had been there when you had needed it most. 

Confidently, you turned around and told Irene, “Yeah, you’re right! Jimin’s still my friend and tomorrow, I’m gonna give him a piece of my mind for ignoring me!”

Your roommates cheered outside. 

⇁⇁⇁⇁⇁⇁⇁

Sunday came and the two of you were both stressed out to meet. 

Irene’s right, you thought. I shouldn’t be afraid. 

While Jimin was pacing back and forth in his dorm, you and your roommates were dressing up, making sure to look as good as possible. Finally, when the clock struck 9:00, you started heading out of your apartment, to the highest floor possible.

Shivering while pushing open the door, a gust of chilly wind blew in, causing you to pull your cardigan tighter around you. 

Looking around, you saw Jimin standing at the edge of the rooftop, gazing out to see the city skyline with the beautiful setting sun. Jimin turned around, the sight of his face made you want to run over and hug him with relief. It’s been two long weeks without your best friend and you wanted him back. You missed him.

Walking over to him, you stood by him and remarked, “It’s cold tonight.”

Jimin smiled sheepishly, ruffling his hair in embarrassment, “Sorry about that. I didn’t check the weather.”

The two of you leaned against the railing, admiring the landscape.

Breaking the silence, Jimin turned to you, “I-I want to apologize.”

You looked at him in surprise and quickly responded, “What are you apologizing for? You wanted the best for me and I was stubborn. You’re right. I need to move on.”

Jimin sighed and refused to look at you, “I...shouldn’t have forced my thinking onto you. I was being selfish and self-centered….I’m really sorry [Y/N].” 

Irene really was right. Jungkook would never have apologized. Maybe...it’s time to move on. 

Cupping Jimin’s face softly, you brought his gaze up to look at you. You saw his red, puffy eyes and tear tracks on his cheeks. His nose was red and his cheeks were too. 

Jimin had supported you and loved you all this time. Now it was time for you to return the love.

Bringing your face close, you kissed him.

[theritaminute]

What about some jonmartin w/ Jon finally telling Martin that he cares abt him

Thank you!! This took a little while because I had plans yesterday, but I hope it’s okay!! It ended up being…A Little Long.(send me prompts)

Under any other circumstances, Jon would probably try toremain professional and polite when writing an email to his boss. Under thesecircumstances, however, Jon is down two ribs and up one three day, horriblytraumatic experience in a coffin that buries people alive. And Peter Lukasdoesn’t even ever fucking read hisemails.

So instead of being polite, Jon curtly informs Lukas where heand Basira are going, why, and how long they expect to be gone. He probablywouldn’t even send the email if not for his experiences suggesting that thingscould go horribly wrong, and it would be a good idea to have a record of wherethey are in case a rescue team needs forming.

What Jon does notexpect is for Martin to read the email. Or show up in his office while Jon is finishingpacking for the trip.

“What the fuck is this?” The stern but familiar voicestartles a yelp out of Jon as he spins around, half looking for something todefend himself with. He softens immediately when he instead sees Martin,despite the outraged look on his face.

“You’re here,” is all he can say, try as he might to come upwith an answer for the phone Martin is shoving in his face. “What’s this?”

“That’s what I want toknow,” Martin’s voice is dripping with something angry that Jon has neverheard from him before, not even when he’s had the man’s anger directed at himself.He takes the phone and holds it away from his face to where he can see it.

“My email? But how did you-“

“How exactly do you think things get done around here withoutPeter reading work emails. I have to go through them and relay importantinformation to him. What is this, Jon?”

“Have you read…allof my emails to Lukas?” Jon feels the blood drain from his face, rememberingone in particular where he had deprived himself of sleep for so long that he hadwritten extensively about how terrible of a person he was for taking Martinaway from his team.

Martin flushes, though out of anger or embarrassment Jon can’ttell, and grits his teeth, “Yes, Jon. Answer my question.”

“I explained everything in the email,” Jon doesn’t know whatelse he wants to know, “Basira and I are going to stop the Dark’s ritual. Weshould be back in a couple of weeks.”

“By yourselves? Do you have any idea how dangerous that is?”

“Some, yes,” Martin’s expression tells him that his joke isnot appreciated, “We’ll be alright, probably. No one will even be there, theritual doesn’t take place until the winter solstice.”

“Do you really believe that?”

“No, but putting ourselves in danger is kind of in our job description,isn’t it?”

“No, it’s not! You’re an archivist, you should be…archivingthings!!”

“I am The Archivist, Martin. There is a difference,” Jontilts his head at Martin’s pained expression, “What are you doing here, Martin?Why did you come to see me when you have been so adamant that we can’t meet?”

He stutters, the anger had bled out of him during theirargument and now Martin just looks helpless and scared, “Why do you think I’mdoing this, Jon? I made an agreement with Peter to keep you safe- to keep everyone safe. You can’t just go gallivantingoff and putting yourself in danger every month, I- I need you to be safe.”

“I don’t think that’s an option, Martin,” Jon says softly,wincing at the little noise of protest Martin makes. He steps forward, and whenMartin doesn’t flinch back, doesn’t do anything but tilt his head down tocontinue looking Jon in the eyes, desperate, Jon reaches a hand up to cup hisface. “I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you all before, that I have been and stillam reckless in trying to fix things. I don’t know what Lukas is promising youbut Martin, I need you here. On my team. Not knowing where you are, or whatcould be happening to you has scared me more than almost anything.”

Martin gives a nervous laugh and a look of disbelief, andJon smiles.

“Alright, not anything,but we both know the situations I have gotten myself into. It still ranks quitehigh on that list, and I just…I need youto be safe as well, I need to know you’re not in danger because,” he takes astuttering breath and licks his lips. All the words have just been pouring out,and he isn’t sure how welcome his next will be, but he’s powerless to stop themcompletely. They’ve been boiling inside of him for so long that he feels like hecould explode. “I care about you, somuch. Don’t give me that look, I do. I know I have mistreated you and takenyou for granted. I don’t deserve to have you on my side, but-“

His words are cut off when Martin sweeps down and captures Jon’slips in his own. In his eagerness, he catches his own lip on Jon’s teeth whilehe is still talking in a way that is painful more than it is sexy, but Jonlaughs lightly and moves his hand from Martin’s cheek to his hair, the other reachingup to fist into his sweater.

For a moment after Martin pulls away, Jon keeps his eyes closed,pretending he isn’t minutes away from going on some dangerous mission to stopyet another apocalypse. Then Martin says his name, soft and sweet, and he hasto open them to look into Martin’s. And Godthey’re so nice, and deep, and brown, and they look like they could contain theentire universe.

“I’m sorry I should have-” Martin is saying, startling Jonback into the moment, “Was that okay?”

Jon breathes out a laugh and relaxes, suddenly realizing thathe has pushed himself up to his tiptoes. “That was fine, Martin. It was, ah, itwas good.”

Martin is grinning, his nose crinkling like it does when heis actually happy, something Jon has seen very little of. As if he can’tresist, he pushes himself back up and steals another quick peck before steelinghimself.

“I still have to go.”

Martin’s smile takes a sad turn, but he nods and whispers, “Iknow.”

“I will be back, though.”

The anger is back then, not full force but enough that hisface changes and his jaw sets. Jon has to struggle not to find the way he worksit attractive. “I don’t need you to lie to me to placate my feelings, Jon. Youdon’t know what’s going to happen.”

“No, I don’t,” Jon admits, and swipes his thump over Martin’scheek in a move he hopes is comforting, “But I will come back. To you. I will.”

He feels confident in this, and his belief seems to convinceMartin, who relaxes. “But you do have to go.”

“I do. Soon, too, Basira is waiting.” Martin takes on adesperate look, like he wants to try again to convince Jon to stay, but hedoesn’t say anything, just nods again. “Will you…Um, will you wish me luck?”

Martin laughs and leans in again, and when their lips meet Jonfeels a confirmation that, if for nothing else, he will come back to theInstitute to experience this again.

[liminalhymnal]

Top ten of your favorite villains in general👀👀

OMG ty for sending this in! OKAY SO you said villains in general so this list spans across different media but ANYWAYS here they are in no particular order or reason, just the first ones in my brain.

1. Dracula from Castlevania because he was driven to go ham bananas all because he loved his wife so much that he was willing to give the finger to god by becoming immortal, just to prove god didn't have the final say and blah blah long backstory cut short THIS MAN LOVED HIS WIFE ENOUGH TO SUMMON A HELL ARMY 2. Lil' Slugger from Paranoia Agent is a good one because you don't know until the end of it whether he's a supernatural force or a real serial-maimer that goes after people with a bat. I'm always a sucker for good symbolism tbh. Though the series deals with some real heavy stuff, if you like thriller horror anime and Satoshi Kon movies then this one is good! 3. Eliade from D-Grayman; look, so spoilers BUT it basically boils down to "scary monster that pretends to be a human falling in love with a human pretending to be a scary monster". Though not only do I like her design, but thinking of her backstory & how she seemed to genuinely love Count Krory in the end & how he still loves her 😢 4. Doma from Demon Slayer because I love his design but God. He's such a Douche. That's it. Enough said. Don't blame me. 5. General Tartar from Splatoon 2. This sludge AI saw a second wave of sentient life emerge and saw it starting to copy humanities mistakes, THEN decided the only way to correct such was to blend smart children up in a literal goddamn blender to make DNA goo. And when that plan almost got messed up he was literally going to destroy civilization to start from scratch. Even for an AI its a super fucked up plan for an intelligent telephone to cook up. 6. Jorogumo from xxxHolic because she's not quite a villain per-se, even so idk to me 1 spider does not equal 1 eye considering how many babies those hellspawns can have and how many eyes they get when we humans have only two. A whole bag of spiders for an eye sure but c'mon. I'm not good at math but that doesn't seem fair BUT she did it to teach an important lesson and in Rei she seemed to care about the mermaid so 🤷‍♀️ 7. Kira Yoshikage in jjba to me is peak villain-y, because he doesn't ham it up nor is he too serious, instead he knows how to pick his battles....but just because you can taunt & beat up a highschooler doesn't mean you should. Or stop to change his socks. Idk he's calculated but petty, and ultimately his pettiness is what gets him in the end. Plus its funny when compared to other JoJo villains who want to take over/reset/control a part of the world, at the end of the day he's just a Salary Man who wants to live a quiet life while hunting for his odd fetishes. A certified weirdo. 8. The Mad Sorcerer from Dungeon Meshi. If you haven't read it I won't spoil you because its GOOD but with a sick title like that do you need to know anything more? jk but their evil reason is a classic trope and despite the evil it was done out of love SO YEAH plus I like how their pupils change time to time because unusually shaped pupils are always peak design.

9. Crona from Soul Eater may be listed as a villain but listen. I've adopted them as my own because they deserved WAY BETTER and people get nasty with them (I'll murder those people with a brick I s2g). The sheer HOPE in their eyes at the prospect of friendship...💀💖😭 plus their severe social anxiety is #Relatable 10. Uhhh not necessarily one villain but the group of girls from Rule of Rose really do embody those vibes that "people who were girls that got bullied by other girls" can only pick up and understand. No high-stakes really but in a horror game where you don't even really get to do anything abt what they do to the protagonist until the end really ramps up the helpless feeling in the game. (Also the shit game controls. Combat is notoriously awful)

[uniformbravo]

“quick” life update while i wait for my ipod to charge

(do ppl even still use ipods in this day & age. whats spotify)

i never made any posts abt it but i started the new semester & im taking 2 classes, it’s funny actually bc i waited even more til the last minute than i usually do to figure out my classes & spent the 1st week of school trying to see a counselor to find out if i still needed classes and that’s a whole other story for a whole other day but long story short the answer was no but i decided to take a couple anyway

mainly because every time im not in school The Depression takes over & i just needed something to Do so im taking intermediate painting (even tho painting 1 made me want 2 die every day) and animation (even tho i’ve already decided i don’t want to be an animator????)

so heres the thing, okay, since these are classes i don’t need in order to fill any requirements or anything i had to pick them based on nothing, really, like my main reason for taking classes this semester was to give myself something to do, right. i picked painting because my friend had told me she was taking it so i was like yo i’ll just do that too bc we had fun last time & it’s a good way to stay in contact. originally that was gonna be my only class bc i knew it’d be a lot of work and time but then i talked to my school’s art counselor about transferring to another school after im graduated from here and i’d said i was maybe interested in storyboarding so we looked at schools with animation programs and i decided super last minute to just take the animation class here and Boy what a mistake

last semester i was talking on here about a computer art class i had considered taking but dropped bc it seemed kinda... shitty?? because i hated the way the teacher taught and i felt like i wasn’t gonna gain anything from the class??? well animation is taught by the same guy and hhhhhhhhh he’s so fucking unhelpful it’s such a nothing class

see i was hoping to learn some hand-drawn animation basics like timing, squash & stretch, the fucking bouncing ball assignment, shit like that, right. the teacher was like “today we’re gonna go over the 12 principles of animation” and i was like “sweet i’ve heard of that this’ll be good” & literally he brought up a list, read off most of the names, briefly described a few, and told us to google it if we wanted more info like?? holy shit dude????? thanks for nothing oh my god

i’ve been taking a lot of time practicing animating in flipnote studio on my 3ds and watching youtube videos and i’ve been learning so much more from that than anything explained by my teacher bc godddd. basically what the class boils down to is like. flash animation. so far we’ve been working in adobe illustrator and animate & i cannot stand illustrator. i know it’s a good and useful program and if i wanted to i could learn how to use it & eventually get used to it but just the way he teaches it makes me want 2 slam dunk my computer

the computer art basics class was strongly recommended to be taken before this class but tbh i don’t even think that’s the issue here because i tried to take that class and his method was the same; he does a demo on screen that you’re supposed to follow along and do with him and he explains what hes doing as he goes but he goes so fast that if u miss a step ur fucked 

and it’s not just that he goes fast, it’s also that theres no understanding of the program itself, like ok u know how in math there’s all these formulas where if u just plug numbers into them it gives u the right answer? i always understood formulas better when i knew what each variable stood for & why the values were being added or multiplied together because then it made it easier to extract the information i needed from word problems and also helped me memorize the formulas themselves easier because i could make those associations between numbers and purpose. i had the groundwork of the formula, so i could apply it to all kinds of situations

this class is like, he only gives you the very specific formulas required to accomplish very specific tasks in the programs so i can’t make the connections to figure out how to perform other tasks and i get super lost every time & it’s super frustrating & i could ask for help because he comes around and helps people who need it but i sit in the back corner so he never really even looks my way so i feel like i can’t get his attention w/o speaking up or getting up to go get him & i get lost so often that it’s really just a pain to ask him every single time

i just hate when i have a problem in one of the programs & i just have absolutely no clue how to fix it or even work around it? im used to photoshop and illustrator is just so opposite that my brain doesn’t want to work with it so im. 100% floundering in this class

we have 2 assignments during the whole semester, the first was a group project where we hand draw a 3-second animation (~30 frames) and that was literally the very first thing we did in the class with no prior guidance and honestly i suspect that the only reason he assigns it is to fill the requirement for a group project (which i know is a thing bc a lot of my past teachers have talked about it being a thing) so it was literally just. a nothing project

the second assignment is our final which is a 90-second animation (~1080 frames) and we have basically the rest of the semester to work on it, so about a month and a half-ish? and all we’ve learned how to do so far is motion tweening in animate, basically. i mean we did a ball-and-string thing which was kind of different but it mostly involved a lot of copy+paste bullshit in illustrator & also like automatic shortcuts & stuff, there was really no drawing involved at all

also it’s one of those classes where everyone just kind of messes around and does their own thing like?? i saw one girl reading manga on her computer & these two dudes at my table were comparing yugioh cards & i hear like 50 thousand conversations about anime every day & i mean im not one to talk tbh but it’s just the atmosphere, it feels like u either know what ur doing or u just fuck around w/ ur friends and im in the “neither of those” category and the girl who was reading manga is in the “both” category bc every other time i’ve looked over there she’s got this amazing masterpiece on her screen that she made in illustrator & i die inside every time what the fuckkc 

he showed us examples of final projects from last semester and i noticed that some of them were done traditionally or in programs that were obviously not illustrator so i asked him about it & he said it doesn’t have to be done in illustrator/animate as long as it’s 90 seconds long so Guess What i think i’m just gonna make it somewhere else lmaooo i mean i feel like it’s a missed opportunity bc i have these programs at my disposal & im not even using them but god amn. god fuckign damn

im thinking of animating it in flipnote bc that’s what i’ve been using & im pretty familiar with it by now but im not sure because there are some important things im not sure i’ll be able to accomplish with it like backgrounds (which are another requirement for the assignment) and i don’t want to back myself into a corner, especially with how little time i have to do it, so idk for sure. my other idea was to use clip studio paint but i have the pro version which only lets u use 24 frames per animation which totals out to a whopping 2 seconds so idk if i want to have to deal with that bullshit either. right now im considering making the rough animation in flipnote so i can figure out the timing & shit and then slapping it into clip studio to finalize everything (or technically i could even do that in photoshop, since im more familiar w/ it & can probably work faster there- from photoshop it’d be a matter of copying the finished frames into clip studio to export into 2-second clips & then compile those in movie maker & then bam finished animation)

so!!! it’s a lot of shit im dealing with in this class & im just like. if im doing it this way then why do i even need to show up for class. what am i even in this class for im just basically making an animation on my own time with my own resources using none of the techniques taught in the class. im only doing this animation because it’s an assignment for the class im not gaining anything from. it just seems so pointless & the only thing getting me through it is the thought that i could possibly put this in a portfolio somewhere down the line, and for that i’d want it to look nice and not rushed so im thinking that for the sake of finishing the assignment i might just use my rough animation so that i can spend more time on the “nice” version afterward

aaaanyway it’s um Late for me & i went on about this for too long but i needed to get it off my chest tbh, i’ve been thinking abt making this post for like 2 weeks so there u go. i didn’t even talk about my painting troubles good lord. if you’ve been wondering why i havent been online as much lately This is why. also bc im a huge loser and 100% of my free time has been going into watching anime bye

[hastybooks]

prompts that i need to nuture more

hey, since it's december 12th 2017 in my time zone and word count for this year has been a woeful 70,000 because life is a tire fire-- here's a list of all of the prompts that are languishing in my drafts. and what i thought about them:

Ooh Carey totally ties Alex up right? I feel like that usually involves edging, but after the end of your last ficlet I'm totally imagining Carey going the overstimulation route w/ her eye emoji eye emoji

ahaha ok here goes: rope work, lots of pinching, maybe a. gally spread-legged while carey teases all the orgasms out of her with everything in her arsenal. fisting?

okay but surely the guys did something ~special for peks after sweeping the blackhawks (omega!verse if you're feeling it??)

boils down to pekka getting rimmed the fuck out and roman sucking him off after making the rest of the team massage his aching hips and thighs

oooh more of the shea/jos werewolf au??

er, first thought was marking/watersports SO

Okay but now that I've recovered a bit from that fic I wanna know what happens next!! Does Alex actually get sent down again? How long is it b4 he sees Carey & PK again & does he get super nervous abt it?? Does Alex worry abt "but did it ~~mean anything or do they do this all the time?" Can they figure out how to make threesome phone sex work in the 70s? Does Carey finally get to tie Alex up? (I have Thoughts abt them doing that & like. ignoring him to make out+more) So many important questions!

ed. note: this i do actually have an outline for and solid plans for how it'd go; this will be a reality in the not-too-distant future

uhhhhhhH so tell me more about these.... 'extra special' videos nicke and elias make for ovi?

low-key top nicke making elias work himself on his dick? plausible.

i keep looking at that giftset of juuse after his first shutout and that boy is smiling so hard, surely he got a reward when he got back to the locker room s u r e l y.

classic gangbang, tbh. with a spot of crying and being told he deserves his reward.

Ugh I've been so pissed w/ what the Habs have been doing w/ AGally lately, I feel like I want something w/ him & Jo where like. Alex is kind of petty and maybe doesn't deliberately seduce him per se but his mindset is kind of like "k buddy u may be the new golden child but you're not that pure & perfect~" (It doesn't rly help make him feel better tho so maybe he goes to vent to Carey afterwards & Carey puts him down & helps take his mind off it)

LOVE hate sex and goalies knowing best especially when it comes to wildly jealous wingers. just a bunch of images in my head but you know. jo looks like he's a total brat whenever the occasion presents itself

Fic prompt: Yannick Weber-- fittest, most positive player in the locker room. At least in someones opinion.

this would be a stupid, fluffy story about how roman is Realest around his old buddy and bitches about being captain while being a pillow prince.

[vintagemiserie]

since i havent posted my writing on here in forever, have some. post-apocalypse. there’s lore if u guys wanna ask abt it hehe

They had just gotten settled in Midway, their cabin so much more comfortable than the tents of the past. It had been a few months since it was built but still Lewis couldn’t help but feel thankful as he lit the fireplace. Hell, they even had a bed. People always complained about the privileges couriers faced, with their larger meals, radios, and weapons, but those who complained didn’t know how lucky they were.

His pot was filled to the brim with snow, of which he’d add more until the pot was nearly boiling over, and set it over the fire. Potatoes, butter, and trout—Lewis was salivating already, unpacking the first item on that list as he waited for the water to begin steaming. “Hey, Daniel, would you mind getting more snow? I’m not sure I got enough,” he said, loudly, so that his partner could hear him.

Daniel didn’t reply, though, which was odd. He was typically so attentive even if he struggled with his poor hearing. Lewis glanced over toward the bed, not wanting to leave the fire unattended, and saw Daniel sitting there struggling with pulling off one of his layers, panicked. “You okay, Daniel?” Lewis asked. He still didn’t get a reply, so Lewis took the pot off the fire and stepped over. “Dan, what’s going on?”

Eventually Daniel managed to get his sweatshirt off, and when he did he gripped one of the sleeves and presented it to Lewis. There were splotches of blood soaked through it. “When I fell, I guess I…” Daniel said, barely audible. The shirt underneath had a thicker display of red on his elbow.

Lewis didn’t reply immediately, standing there slack-jawed. But he’d have to pull himself together, act as the leader Daniel expected him to be. “Okay. Okay, take off the rest of what you have on, okay? We need to clean up your arm and wrap it up so it doesn’t bleed, okay?” He put a hand on Daniel’s cheek as Daniel nodded and began unbuttoning his next layer of clothes; Daniel stared up at him, his mouth parted slightly and still searching for words he would never find.

Soon enough Daniel was down to just his undermost shirt, one that thankfully was short-sleeved. His elbow was covered in dark, sticky blood, trailing onto a dyed-red forearm. They both stared for a moment, uncomfortable, before Lewis had to step away to get their first-aid supplies. He also grabbed the pot and a spare rag. When stepped back only a minute after he stepped away, Daniel was shivering and tears rimmed his eyes.

But the injured boy kept himself put together as Lewis cleaned his arm, sterilized it with the little bottle of alcohol they had in the first aid kit, and wrapped it up. Really, despite the amount of blood, it wasn’t all too bad—there were a few big scabs and most of his elbow had turned darker with bruising, but that was the worst of it. Daniel was biting his lip and was shaking profusely.

“Okay, Daniel, I’m going to clean up your shirts and then we’ll get dinner going.” Lewis said. Daniel looked awful, utterly tired and utterly cold. Lewis grabbed a spare blanket and threw it his way. “You can cozy up with me once I’m a little more prepared, okay?” 

“Okay,” Daniel murmured in response, wrapping himself up in the blanket. No wonder he’d been so out of it after his little fall, Lewis figured as he started soaking the bloodied bits of fabric. He didn’t have the patience for fully getting the stains out, more focused on making sure they were clean and wouldn’t stiffen up in the cold whenever they’d start leaving the next day. He soaked them all and then hung them up in front of the fire, then resigned to heading back out to replace the now pinkish water with snow.

Though the entire occurrence couldn’t have taken more than half an hour, Lewis was exhausted and starving, and having to restart the boiling process just made him anxious. Once he got enough snow, though, he sat before the fireplace and let himself rest.

Around the time Lewis set their lot of potatoes in, Daniel must have pulled his prosthetic off, because he heard a dull thunk and the creak of his crutch as he stepped over. He dropped himself in Lewis’s lap and immediately began pulling Lewis’s coat around himself.

“You’re tired,” Daniel said in that soft voice of his, as if he didn’t look like he was about to pass out himself. “You sleep, Lew.”

“We agreed that I was in charge of dinner tonight. You’re hurt and you need to relax rather than worry about overcooking the trout,” Lewis said, letting a hand run through Daniel’s hair. They’d need to wash themselves thoroughly once they got to the other campus, given how rough the day’s trip was. He leaned over to his backpack and found their pan, getting to work on frying their trout despite Daniel being just a tad in the way.