#i have so much imposter syndrome im a FRAUD and i have tricked everyone here into following and liking my shit | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

misstodr-blog · 6 years

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If Impostor Syndrome has you feeling like a fraud, read this:

I’m not good enough.

I’m not clever enough.

I’m not motivated enough.

I’m simply just not enough.

From my own experience, and from what I’ve been told by friends and colleagues, thoughts about not being good enough are common during PhD. It’s this overwhelming, crippling feeling that you’re some kind of fraud and that you don’t belong in academia. That feeling has a name: Impostor Syndrome (IS).

Disclaimer: Although I’ll be talking mainly about IS and academia, IS can strike in any career path or any part of your life.

IS is regarded as a physiological phenomenon, and not a mental illness, where people believe they lack crucial skills despite evidence or past experiences that demonstrate their capabilities. Interestingly, when the term was first used (by psychologists Suzanna Imes and Pauline Rose Clance way back in the 1970s), it was associated with high-powered, successful women. Nowadays, it’s more broadly noted as a phenomenon anyone and everyone can experience. It has been linked to disorders such as Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) which focuses more on the social element of feeling like you don’t belong.

My own personal experience with IS is ongoing but I first noticed it when I returned to my PhD following a medical-related break. I knew I was behind with my work, despite obtaining an extension, and I couldn’t help but compare my progress with other people in my department. I’d constantly have this lingering feeling that I wasn’t clever enough and I ignored the fact I’d successfully completed two degrees prior to being selected for my PhD by telling myself I got lucky. At it’s worst, my IS got to the point where I was so frightened of going to the lab to start an experiment in case I made a mistake and I was revealed as a fraud. Naturally, though, progressing is all about making mistakes. Trial and error.

I can’t sit here and give you tips and tricks for managing feelings of IS or breaking free of its grip completely. As I said, it’s still something that I experience regularly. However, the most important step that I’ve found to help is recognising that what you’re feeling is IS. Being able to put a name to those intrusive thoughts can give you an explanation of sorts and, to an extent, it allows you to alleviate some of the blame and pressure you’re placing on yourself. I also found that a simple Google search of “Impostor Syndrome” and “Impostor Syndrome in academia” provided me with so much useful information - be it self-help, the history of IS or just an acknowledgment that it’s a common phenomenon and I’m not alone. I would like to say though, If this is seriously affecting your day-to-day life and you feel as though you’re struggling, please consider reaching out and talking to somebody. I’m a huge advocate of counselling/therapy and verbalising your intrusive thoughts in a safe place can really help the process of understanding, managing and healing.

If you’re reading this and you relate to some of the things I’ve said, please feel free to share your experience of IS or similar situations (only if you’re comfortable to do so). My Ask Me Anything is always open and I’m more than happy for you to reblog this and add your own comments.

Here are some websites/information sources that helped me understand IS and also write this post:

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/sep/19/fraud-impostor-syndrome-confidence-self-esteem

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/real-women/201809/the-reality-imposter-syndrome

https://www.verywellmind.com/imposter-syndrome-and-social-anxiety-disorder-4156469

https://theresearchwhisperer.wordpress.com/2016/02/02/imposter-syndrome/ (adacemia and IS specifically)

Until next time!

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