#i have to scrabble it together in the same way

[toothyblowjob]

so i recently decided that, while i am still An Entire Man, my gender is complex in a way that i feel can only really be described as genderqueer. and i really like the way i explained it to my boyfriend today--"identifying as genderqueer is my way of acknowledging that there's no blueprint for what i am. i have to carve out a space for myself, because there's not one already."

[peachesofteal]

Light on - single mom/neighbor fic - reader POV - 18+ MDNI Simon Riley/female reader

“Ye dinnae have tae worry.”

Johnny, Simon’s friend, or coworker, you guess, croons to the two of you, happy faced Emma bobbing in his arms. She’s perfectly content with him, her affinity for big strong men clearly grown since knowing Simon, when she took to him like a duck to water.

Still. You’ve never left your baby in the care of a stranger.

Simon, somehow, senses the hesitance. Sees the tepid enthusiasm, a big palm settling at the middle of your back, mouth leaning close to hover above your ear. “If you’re not sure, we can stay in.”

“No!” You settle as quickly as you can after the blurted admission, embarrassment simmering away in your gut. “No, sorry. I trust you... I trust your judgement.” You motion to Johnny, who’s watching you with a serious expression. “I’m sure it will be fine, it’s just-“

“You’ve only ever left her with me.” He finishes for you, and you look up at him, relieved to find soft brown eyes crinkling with understanding, sweetness. The tender affection you’ve come to know so dearly.

“Just that one time and- and she’s so little.” At the same time, she yawns, little chest rising and falling with a big exhale, tiny lids begrudgingly drooping shut. She’s just going to be sleeping anyway. Just go.

Another voice whispers in the back of your mind. One you haven’t heard for quite some time, urging you forward from beyond the light.

Be brave.

Dinner is great. Better than great, even. It’s… wonderful. Perfect. The restaurant is decked out for the holiday, and there are lights of every color strung from the rafters, soft music wafting and weaving through the throng of diners, low light accompanied with candles dotting each table. The food is delicious, aromatic and rich, and both you and Simon eat until you’re complaining of feeling too full, one last glass of wine settling into your veins with a giddy effervescent that makes you giggle just a little bit too much.

“We’re not due back for another hour.” He muses, after the check’s paid and you’re both lingering by the door, his warm hand squeezing yours. “Want to walk?” He motions to the green space across the block, the one that’s got a big tree glowing in the middle, flanked with a residential street all lit up, more lights and decorations shining into the night.

“These houses are pretty.” You murmur, cheek smushed against his bicep, arm wrapped around his like you’re a koala, and he’s your tree. Your shelter.

“You like ‘em?” You take a left, peeling off into the park, steps naturally in stride, and he adjusts, pulling his arm free to wrap it around your shoulder, heart warming in your chest when you feel his lips come down across your head overtop your hat, the touch alone enough to make you feel toasty all the way through your boots.

“Yeah. Always wanted Emma to have a yard, y’know?” You sigh. It’s not out of reach, so much, but everything was easier with two incomes, and before it was just you and her, you felt like the dream was nearly attainable. Nearly there. “One day.” You slow to a stop in front of a tree, it’s long trunk stretching towards the sky, barren branches wrapped in string lights, and turn expectantly, face tilted. Kiss me, you hope your expression tells him. Make me yours.

His mouth covers yours, fiercely, lips parting to work tongues and teeth together, fingers scrabbling across clothing, seeking, touching. You trace along the hem of his shirt, up under his jacket, his skin shivering beneath your touch, muscles tensing, shaking in the night. Your palm splays flat against his ribs, his abs, and you hum into his mouth, thighs pressing together at the feeling of him reacting to your touch. He’s been such a gentleman. So perfect, with you in his bed. He looked away, every time you tried to prance into the room in a too small pair of sleep shorts. He averted his eyes, when you rolled over without a bra on, breasts loose in your sleep t shirt. Even cuddling, waking up together, going to sleep... he was respectful. You wish he was just a little more willing… to be bad.

You tried not to think about the alternative. The idea that he’s seen your stretch marks, and stomach, enough to make you feel a little sick. You’ve been strategic about it, big shirts, hips covered, but what if…

You bury the thoughts. The dread and spiral that feels like circling the drain. The wine makes you feel bold, it makes you feel desperate to know. Does he want this?

“Simon.” You gasp, hardly separating yourself to speak. Instead, you feed your words to him, hoping they’ll sink through, hoping they’ll make sense. “I need- I want you to touch me.” He pulls away, hand cradling your cheek, leveling you with a serious look.

“We don’t have to rush this, sweetheart, I-“

“I’m not rushing.” More tongue. He tastes like the whiskey from dinner, and the tannins of your wine. Like the bread and the oil, rich silky texture, earth and salt exploding in your senses. “I’m ready.” You find his hand, pulling it from your cheek, dipping low to crawl up under the bottom of your sweater, until his knuckles are brushing against the skin of your diaphragm. There’s a sharp intake of breath and then-

His hand folds over the curve of your breast, thumb slipping inside the fabric of your bra, stroking across your nipple. When he feels it, firm against his touch, he groans, pressing closer, his body crowding yours against the tree. The width of his frame shields you, and he drifts low to your skirt, teasing his touch across your lower belly, fingers dipping into the waistband.

“You think you’re ready for me?” He hums in your ear, teeth grazing against the shell. You shudder, soft whine slipping free, and he shifts, hard cock swollen in his jeans, now pressing between your legs, making you throb for him beneath tartan and cotton. “Are you sure, sweetheart?” He slides his hand down, searching beneath your skirt, grazing along the outside of your panties. You close your eyes when his finger slips inside, stroking through where you know you’re ready, where you’re so wet, clit pulsing with desperation for him. He circles your entrance, dipping inside you and then out, stroking over your swollen bud, making you jolt and whimper in his hold. “Fuck.” He breathes.

“Yeah, I’m-“

“You’re soaked for me.” He kisses you, long and deep and furious, still working his finger gently back and forth. “This pussy been wet all night, honey?” Your eyes nearly roll back into your fucking skull, words failing on your tongue.

“Simon… I- yeah.”

“Want me to take you home, take care of you?” He presses deeper, heel of his hand making contact with your clit, thick finger sinking into you, moan swallowed by his mouth. “Think you can be quiet enough so you don’t wake the baby?” He thrusts, pressure grinding upwards, your walls clenching desperately. You nod frantically, but he doesn’t stop, keeps fucking up into you with his finger, bringing you dangerously close to the edge quicker than you ever thought possible.

“Fuck, I-“

“Shhh.” He hushes, mouth wide on your cheek before slotting his lips against yours and pulling free, finger falling away from your body. You watch with wide eyes as he brings it to his lips, slipping it inside to taste you, lashes fluttering like he’s dining on some sort of decadence. “I’ll give what you need sweetheart.” His forehead touches yours. “I’ll give you everything. I promise.” He swears, and something glints in his eyes, something serious, nearly predatory, severe and dedicated, so intense that it makes you shiver.

“Okay.”

[ckret2]

please more evil ford please i stare with my puppy eyes for this i am obbsessed

Yeah all right, I've been working on some art. (For context, we're talking about this Evil Ford.)

Evil Ford is Evil as in "cheerfully works with Bill even after learning his full plot" and "is totally ready to conquer and/or destroy the world." But other than the shocking lack of basic ethics and the supervillain objective he's mostly the same guy—which means he still cares about his family. He's hoping to get them to join in on the world conquest plan.

Forty-odd years ago he went off to college promising someday he'd be a big shot scientist who changes the world and he'd make his family a fortune. If taking over reality doesn't qualify he doesn't know what does. The family can join him and his buddy Bill and rule the universe together. Pines Pines Pines Pines!

Unfortunately for him, the rest of the family still has normal moral compasses. And also they've met Bill.

Bill can't currently possess Ford due to Reasons; but even though he can't get in the driver's seat he still has permission to ride shotgun at any time. Ford talks to him pretty regularly. He HAS been caught doing this. Stan thinks he's just gone a little nutty from thirty years of isolation.

Naturally, since he was always on Bill's side, Ford's perception of events during Weirdmageddon is a bit different:

I finally made an official Evil Ford New Costume Character Design, check out his exciting totally different brand new look:

I decided that, since Ford is still basically the same person aside from his terrible life goals, he'd probably have the same fashion sense. And so... nothing changes except two tiny details lmao.

But he DOES have tattoos:

I traced a canon character model and took off its top to get a base to slap tattoos on, and then went dang... they gave him a big head and arms. He looks goofy. Anyway,

His forearms have less incriminating tattoos—just a birch tree and a sunrise. (The sunrise looks like the Journal 3 "The Muse Has Spoken" page.) The red text is the "triangulum entangulum" ritual; if anyone asks he'll go "it's uhh an ancient Sumerian poem about how great science is." It's not until he's topless that it's like "oh so he's a CULTIST cultist." The one exception is an unconcealed Eye of Providence on his right palm—but it's in an ink that's only visible in certain lighting. It's there so at any time he can point his hand at something and go "Bill are you seeing this BS?"

Of course, he still has the "hey now, you're an all star" neck tattoo. I didn't have room to draw it.

As you can see, he's made being Bill's right hand man a core part of his personality. Rather than spending 30 years scrabbling around the multiverse desperately searching for a way to destroy Bill, he spent 30 years chilling in the Quadrangle of Qonfusion as Bill's specialest favoritest Henchmaniac, and only scrabbling around the multiverse occasionally for fun & profit.

Here's a photo Bill & Ford took at a Nightmare Realm house party like fifteen years ago, three minutes before Bill started an argument and set the house on fire.

Most people have their wild party years in college, Ford has his in his 40s.

[i-like-writing-stuff]

the other five; part 2 [ five hargreeves x reader ]

okayyyy so it’s not my best work and i hope it is not too rushed or cheesy i have my best and i hope i didn’t crush y’all’s expectations 😭😭 writing this i literally gave no shit on the paradox psychosis, it’s also an AU where they did save the world, and not to mention again that everyone, including reader and five are around 32, basically the same age as the rest of the family

hope y’all still like it tho 🥹🥹🥹

part one

“I can’t believe how bad you suck at Scrabble in every single timeline, my love,” Five laughed, shaking his head in disbelief as you threw a wooden piece at him over the table, offended to say the least;

“I can’t believe what a piece of shit you are in every timeline!”

“Oh, she’s also a sore loser in every timeline!”

As you threw yet another wooden piece at the man before you, you couldn’t help but get infected with his contagious laugh and burst into giggles as well. Five was smiling from ear to ear, as he was heavily laughing, with a hand over his chest, as his other one was resting peacefully on top of yours on the table.

You were sitting on the rug, on each side of the coffee table in your living room. It was a peaceful Thursday night, and you didn’t really have anything planned. You worked all day, so you figured that a glass of wine and some chocolate to snack on while watching a movie would be a decent end of the day, but a couple knocks on your door changed that.

It had been a while since you met Five, a couple of weeks maybe. Nothing short of a miracle helped you save the world for good this time, but that’s a story for another time. Things were actually looking up for you, as the Hargreeves siblings were all safe in one piece, as well as your own parents. Viktor was visiting you in the States a lot more often, Allison, Klaus and Claire resumed their day to day lives, Luther was trying to reabilitate the old mansion for good this time and actually own it, Ben and Jennifer were happily together, as Diego and Lila were doing their best to save their marriage for the sake of their three children.

As for Five, last you heard he was still in the CIA, but that was about it.

The Five from your timeline, that was.

The Five standing in front of you, he was an entirely different story.

After he comforted you the day you and Five broke up, you tried to prioritize your interests and went back to help the family stop the apocalypse. In spite of how much you wanted to just lay in his arms until you went completely numb, you knew that if that’s where you were meant to be, you’d find your way back eventually.

And you did.

“Fuck me, that was draining,” You rubbed your face, falling onto the dusty leather couch with a loud thud, next to Allison.

“You’d think we would get the hang of it by now,” She sarcastically said, letting her head fall on your shoulder.

“If there’s a fifth apocalypse, let’s just let it happen,” Klaus suggested, as some of you couldn’t help but nod in agreement.

“At least this one wasn’t Viktor’s fault,” Luther pointed out, making Viktor waive his arms;

“Excuse me?”

“I’m swear I’m gonna kill myself,” Ben rolled his eyes bored as ever. On the surface, that was.

“Jesus Christ, what the fuck?” Lila raised her brows at the man.

“Do it later, we literally just saved your sorry ass,” Five pointed out.

“And to think that after all this shit, on Monday I’m back to delivering packages…” Diego deeply sighed, as you all turned to judge him.

The nine of you were standing in the middle of the old mansion, trying to catch your breath after your hardest efforts yet to save the world. It was a mixture of everyone’s powers, a droplet of a miracle and lots of yelling around, but eventually you did it. You could finally breathe again and not worry that tomorrow may not come.

However, it didn’t mean that you weren’t suffering anymore. You tried your everything to keep your composure around the Five from your timeline and Lila, since apparently even Diego was willing to make amends. He loved his brother and his kids far too much, as well as his wife. He was willing to put it all behind, after all, you were given a second chance and he was not going to waste it.

“Am I going crazy or is that another Five?” Klaus pointed towards the main entrance to the living room, as your Five walked in with a slight smile across his lips and his hands in his pockets;

“I wouldn’t have bet my last two cents that you idiots would have actually managed to save the universe.”

“Asshole,” You giggled, getting up to run instantly into his arms.

Five was taken aback by your sudden excitement for a mere second, as he stumbled a step back, but not wasting another second to wrap his arms around your waist. He walked you back from the diner to the train station that would take you back to Five, and eventually back to your timeline a couple hours ago, but if you were to be honest it felt like forever since the last time you saw him. In spite of being literally yet not really the man who crushed your heart that day, you found such an intense comfort in him, it was stupid.

You were still grieving your old relationship, you were still heartbroken over what had happened. Six years with Five on your side were not that easy to get over, but this one truly helped you feel better. He was so thoughtful, so sweet and kind, yet sarcastic and sassy, he was totally your perfect match, which was insane since you thought that your ex-boyfriend of six years would be your soulmate.

“I hate you,” You declared, crossing your arms over your chest, “You have no business making fun of me- you’re like a hundred years old.”

“Don’t- Don’t go there and make it awkward,” Five instantly said, raising his hands in front of you, “You’re making me feel like a pervert.”

“As you should,” You lightly shrugged your shoulders, watching as he rolled his eyes playfully.

The two of you started spending a considerable amount of time together lately, as he managed to make himself comfortable in your timeline. He couldn’t remember the last time he was so happy, not only because he had lost his own Y/N, but he also hadn’t seen his siblings in such a long time. In his timeline, they didn’t manage to save themselves after Reggie reset the timeline at Hotel Oblivion, so getting his family back in a way was surreal to him as well.

Five felt alive again and it was all because of you.

All because he stumbled upon the love of his life that day in the subway system, the same woman who brought him back to his family. Maybe they weren’t actually the ones from his timeline, but they were his family nonetheless.

“Okay, one more round so I can shut your trash mouth again,” Five declared, straightening his jacket, as he leant over the table to rearrange the board.

“I can think of another way you can shut my trash mouth,” You smirked, leaning forward on the table as well, resting your weight on your elbows.

The two of you took things surprisingly slow. You couldn’t deny the instant connection, after all- you were a couple in every single timeline. But you couldn’t help the need to avoid the rush. Sure, you held hands sometimes and bump your knees under the table, or he would place wild strands of hair behind your ears and you would sometimes fix his tie for him. You also tended to share tight hugs that lasted maybe a second too long, or linger some touched here and there, but you neither of you ever had the courage to bring it up in a discussion.

You had never even kissed.

“My, my, is my little Y/N getting impatient?” Five mimicked your smirk, lightly grabbing your chin between his index and thumb.

One thing you knew for sure was that you didn’t have feelings anymore for your ex-boyfriend. There was no doubt about that. You just didn’t feel it would be wise to jump into another relationship so soon with his doppelgänger, but after these past few weeks you were so done waiting.

If there’s one thing you learned from saving the world one too many times it definitely was that you should not be wasting precious seconds.

“Aren’t you?” You asked, looking into his eyes, trying to figure out where he stood on all this.

“I’d wait for you decades, darling,” Five confessed, running his thumb across your bottom lip in a gentle manner.

He loved the feel of you, every square inch of your body- he couldn’t get enough of it. He would touch anywhere possible, he wanted to pepper kisses along every part of you, but he did mean every word he said. He did want to wait for you for as long as you needed until you were ready to be with him, truly.

“Promise?” You couldn’t help but wonder, as Five let go of your chin to put some fallen strands of hair behind your ears, “Would you actually wait for me?”

“It’s not even up for debate,” He nodded, getting up from the floor, straightening his three piece suit.

He offered you his hands, as he lifted you to your feet as well. You didn’t know exactly if your legs were numb because of how long you’d been sitting crisscrossed on the floor, or simply because the man before you made your knees weak with one smile, but you knew for certain that you never wanted this night to end.

Five cupped your cheeks in his hands, as you naturally rested your hands on his chest. You were so smitten by him, but in all fairness- how could you not be? He was doing everything right, giving you all the love he had and a bit more extra, while still being his true sassy self that you loved so much.

“Kiss me, please,” You whispered, looking into his beautiful eyes, feeling as you were slowly losing yourself into the moment.

Five smiled as he leaned in slowly to give your lips a light peck, as careful and attentive as possible. His long fingers found their way into your hair, as your own arms wrapped around his neck to pull him in closer. He took that as his cue to go in for a more passionate kiss, capturing your lips with his in just a matter of seconds, losing his whole being in that moment to wrap himself around your pinky finger.

Anything you wanted, he would go through the ends of the world to get it for you- and that was an understatement.

[papercorgiworld]

Revenge of a simp

Pick your guy: Mattheo Riddle or Theodore Nott

You have been in love with him since forever, slowly you make your way into his life. When he breaks your heart you and Cedric Diggory team up to get him jealous.

So happy to have finally finished this. I really hope it’s good. Not too sure about the title though… Definitely let me know if there are any mistakes.

Warning: save to read until the smut warning, or if you want you can just skip ahead to the smut…

I. You fell first

You liked him and it was obvious. Then again that was kind of the point. After a year of crushing on the guy, it was time to slowly wiggle your way in his life and so far so good.

You talked regularly, mostly before or after class, having small discussions about the material or brainstorm on a project. During the weekends you heard and saw less of him, because he was usually with his small circle of friends. However, most recently you had started to win over Pansy which meant that you tagged along sometimes when they visited Hogsmeade, but even then he spent most of his time talking with his friends. But the most important thing was that you were getting closer to him, you were going to conquer your crush. And today was a magical day.

A small paper butterfly landed on your desk and you frowned, opening it very carefully, wary of any possible pranks. You read it and immediately felt your cheeks heat up. You tried to calm and cool yourself down with a deep breath, before turning around to him and nodding.

Meet me after quidditch training?

Maybe? Please?

M.R.

You nervously waited for Mattheo to finish showering and stared around the quidditch stadium, quietly daydreaming. Suddenly you feel a hand on the small of your back and quickly turn around. “Ready to go?” You smile, but look a bit puzzled. “Go where?” He gestures at the books in his hands. “The library, I really need your help with my history assignment.” You stare at the books and nod. This sure wasn’t the romantic date you were hoping for, but you still get to spend some time with him.

Spending time with Mattheo in the library wasn’t disappointing at all. He settled close to you and gave you all his attention. “I’m so happy to have you here with me. It makes so much more sense now that I understand the assignment properly. I must’ve been distracted when Binns explained it.” You laugh as he eagerly writes some stuff down. “Always happy to help. I could give you my notes. I write down a lot, probably too much, but I like some background information on the events, makes it easier to remember.” He stares at you and smiles. You return his smile awkwardly, tilting your head a bit to ask: why are you staring?. He shakes his head and lets out a soft chuckle. “Sure, your notes will definitely be helpful.”

“Hey, Matt, you joining us up?” Pansy asks as she points her finger up, which refers to the astronomy tower. Mattheo nods and offers you a sweet smile. “Thank you so much for your help.” You try to hide your disappointment and force a smile. As he scrabbles his books and papers together Pansy looks at you. “Are you going to tomorrow's party?” You stay quiet for a moment, you hadn’t really thought about it. “You should. If you want, we can meet beforehand.” You look at her like you’ve fallen in love with her. “Yeah, that would be nice.” She nods.

“What was that about?” You hear Mattheo’s harsh whisper as they walk away. “I could ask you the same?” Pansy whispers back and you can’t help but stay put a moment to think it over.

Meet me after training?

Please?

T.

You were eager and got there early, too early. He had only just landed when you arrived at the quidditch pitch. “You’re a bit early.” He chuckles as walks up to you all sweaty and panting. “I know, but I can just sit in the stands as you shower.” You feel yourself get flustered as he carefully watches you. “The weather is nice, so that’s why I’m early.” You try to sound as casual and convincing as possible, but his soft chuckle is proof of how nervous you sound. “I’ll be quick.” He just says and joins his friends in the direction of the baracs. You sigh, hating how much of a fool you can be when you’re around Theodore. Merlin have mercy, I’m so down for this guy.

Theo watches your hands fiddle as you stare at the clouds. “Hey dreamy, you ready to help me with my potions project?” You jump a little as his voice startles you. You nod. It wasn’t the first time you had studied together, but you were confused that he asked you for help since he was a star student despite his lack of effort. Even more absurd was that he apparently needed your help with potions. You get up and walk towards him. “Potions? Why would you need my help with potions?” You ask with your eyebrows knit together. “I mean you’re like a potions genius.” Theodore laughs at your dramatics, obviously not that good with compliments. “I want some extra credit with Sluggy so I’m writing an essay on Mandrake Restorative Draught. And then I remembered that you wrote an essay on Mandrakes so I thought you might be able to help.” Your eyes get all shiny, you’re happily surprised that he remembered.

While you search for the best books on Mandrakes Theo follows you around questioning you about all things Mandrake. When you try but fail to reach one of the books on the top shelf he is eager to help, but you are surprised by how close he comes, locking your figure between his body and the books. “This one?” He asks with his eyes on yours, referring to the book and you nod, hating the feeling of your face heating up. You feel saved when Pansy shows up. “Theo, you joining us up?” Pansy asks as she points her finger up, which refers to the astronomy tower. “Of course, be there in a minute.” Theodore answers, expecting Pansy to leave. However she stays and smirks. “(Y/n) wanna meet up before the party tomorrow? We can get changed together, it’ll be fun.” You frown for a moment. “I wasn’t planning on going, but I would love to.” Pansy smirks. “Good.” You don’t notice Theodore’s annoyed expression at Pansy and just watch him pass you. “See you later.” Is all he says and you hear Pansy snicker as Theodore growls something under his breath.

II. The kiss

Getting ready with Pansy was a blast. She made all your worries disappear and gave you a massive confidence boost. You stare yourself down in the mirror, checking your outfit and make up, when Pansy pops up next to you in the mirror and kisses you on the cheek. “You look fine, babe, stop stressing about. And lets! Get! Some! Guys!” You laugh wondering if she was really this hyped or she took a shot of something.

She holds your hand as she guides you through the dancing drunks to first get drinks, then dance with some of her friends and finally to the corner where the guys are drinking. When you arrive you notice they’re all focused around Theodore and George who are playing some sort of card game. “I know how to play cards Fred!” George complains as Fred keeps on muttering. You frown, but quickly notice a few galleons on the table. Oh now it makes sense. The next moment Fred and George are bickering and the Slytherins are celebrating. You laugh at their drunk enthusiasm, but suddenly all the laughter seems to go quiet as you lock eyes with him.

Mattheo

When your eyes meet a genuine smile spreads on his face, before he suppresses it and forces his lips into a line. The sparkle in his eyes remains and the corners of his mouth still tug at a smile as he takes a few steps towards you. You look up at him. “Hey, there. Lucky night?” You ask pointing to the table with scattered cards on. His arm snakes around you and he pulls you close. “You have no idea.” You can smell the alcohol, but aren’t bothered by it as you’re too busy enjoying being in his arms and pressed up against his chest. "Let's dance.” He doesn’t wait for an answer and moves you a little further from his friend group to somewhere where there’s enough space to spin you around. You laugh at how playful and drunk he is. Neither of you are bothered by the looks you’re getting.

It was like lightning hit you. He spins you around and immediately pulls you back into him, a little rougher than before. You stumble a bit, but he holds you tightly against him, safe, where you should be. You have no idea what goes through his mind as he looks at you with intense eyes, but it was all you in his head. With one arm around you, his free hand reaches for your face and holds you as he kisses you like no one was in the room. You hesitate for a moment before kissing back and you’re pretty sure you hear Theo and Enzo cheer.

When you break the kiss in need of air, Mattheo slings his arm around your neck and pulls you close to give you a kiss on the cheek. You’re convinced you’re blushing like crazy at this moment, but with Mattheo’s arm around you, you feel safe. All too soon Mattheo is pulled away by his friends to join in some ridiculous drinking game.

When it gets late, or rather early, you and Pansy say your goodbyes and you get one last sloppy kiss from Mattheo, but he’s quick to turn back to drinking. You can’t help but wonder if that kiss actually meant anything.

Theodore

Theo walks over to you grinning and you meet his glinstering eyes. “Remind me to never play games with you.” I say, referring to his ice cold victory and he just smugly raises his eyebrows. His arms reach around you pulling you close to him and his lips move to your ear. “Let's join the crowd and dance.” He pulls away a little to see your expression and you can smell a combination of cigarettes and firewhiskey, but the most intoxicating thing about him are his eyes, which seem to drown in yours. You give a small nod in agreement and he walks you to the center of the room. He never lets go of you and now that you’re surrounded by dancing people he pulls you even closer. You can barely wrap your mind around what’s happening, so you decide to let yourself be guided by Theo’s warmth.

You don’t hide your gaze and just adore Theodore as he sings along with the music in a playful way while his intense eyes never leave yours. You should’ve seen it coming, but you didn't, it came out of nowhere. One moment he was resting his head against yours and the next his lips were roughly moving over yours and biting at your soft lips. It was a drunk kiss, but it felt so passionate that all doubt left your body and you kissed back with the same intensity and desire. When the kiss finally breaks Theodore pulls you close, squeezing you a little too hard, but you weren’t going to complain.

When he lets go of you, the first thing you notice is how you had forgotten about all the people around you, but they had seen it all. Eyes of jealousy and eyes of shock were all around you. With his arm still around you, he guides you back to Pansy and his friends. With a butsqueeze he says his goodbye to you and joins his friends in another game. You’re left baffled at what just happened and join Pansy on the couch. When you announce you’re leaving all you get is a cheeky wink which has you questioning if the kiss meant anything at all.

III. The heartbreak

The next morning you quickly figured out how this was gonna go. All of Hogwarts was talking about your kiss, except for him. As much as it meant to you, you were forced to downplay it. Luna spent her entire day checking on you, worried you would break at the smallest inconvenience. “Drunk people kiss at parties.” You told Ginny. “It probably meant nothing and that’s cool.” You tried to sound as nonchalant as possible but failed miserably.

However, as bad as it sounded when you were forced to say it, it was worse to hear him say it. You spotted him a little further down the hallway.

“I was drunk and she was just there.” I was… convenient?

”She’s been simping since forever, it was just an easy play.” Simping? Easy play?

You turn around, heartbroken. You had a crush on the biggest ass ever.

However, you miss a vital part of the conversation.

Mattheo

Pansy rolls her eyes. “Sure, Matt. You’re definitely not falling for her at all.” She turns on her heels annoyed with his pathetic tough act. Mattheo frowns and turns to Theodore and Enzo. “I don’t have a thing for (y/n).” Lorenzo can’t hide his smile and Theo is grinning at his pack of cigarettes. When Theodore meets Mattheo’s annoyed eyes his face turns a bit more serious. “If you want us to believe that you’re gonna have to stop the staring.” Enzo nods and adds: “And you’ll have to stop asking her for help with assignments we know you’ve already finished.” Mattheo clenches his jaw and snatches Theo’s cigarettes, before pushing them aside and walking away. “Whatever.” He mutters and Theo and Enzo can’t help but grin at their friend in denial.

Theodore

“Yeah, she’s a simp, but you like it.” Mattheo sings the last bit with humor and Theodore rolls his eyes. “It’s pathetic.” Theo argues with annoyance in his voice, but Mattheo just grins. “Isn’t that how we like our girls?” This makes Theodore’s eyes go a little darker, whether the statement was true or not Theo didn’t like Mattheo’s outspokenness about it and reaches for his cigarettes. “Last night’s kiss clearly meant something.” Blaise’s serious voice makes Theo roll his eyes again. It was conversations like these that made him smoke as much as he did. “No. It didn’t.” Draco’s grinning gets even worse and his tongue pokes the inside of his cheek. “Then explain why you need her to help you with potions? Were you out of legitimate excuses to spend time with her?” Mattheo snickers. “Yeah, and what’s up with the staring?” Theodore pulls away his hand holding his pack of cigarettes so Mattheo fails to snatch it. “I don’t stare.” Theo’s voice warns them to stop teasing. When he walks away Blaise raises his eyebrows and Theodore growls when he hears his friends fall into a fit of laughter.

IV. The masterplan

Clearly upset you make your way to your common room intending on hiding in your dorm for the rest of the day. You try to keep yourself from crying as you speed walk through the hallways. You keep your head down to avoid making eye contact, but suddenly you’re forced to look up as some stumbles into you. Cedric Diggory. Walking backwards out of a classroom fully engaged in a conversation and laughing he had walked into you. “Oh by Helga, I’m so sorry.” He immediately apologizes and reaches for your arms to keep you steady as you take a few steps back. When he realizes it’s you, a happy smile tugs on his lips. Even though he was older, Cedric and you had been good friends since first year. You were constantly lost, but leave it to the handsome and sweet hufflepuff to help out first years. You try to force a smile in return, but it turns into something awful and Cedric cheerfulness ebbs away as worry makes his brows knit together.

“Dudes, I’ll meet up with you later.” He tells his friends and swings his arm around your shoulder. “Talk to me, (little puff/ dearest raven/ sweet slytherin/ brave lion).” You try to push him away. “Uhm nothing, I’m just on my way to my dorm. A headache, you know.” You make up the lie on the spot and point to your head, but Cedric isn’t having any of it and pulls you closer. “Sure, but who’s the cause of your headache? Snape? That annoying prefect we talked about last time?” You don’t know how, but he manages to make you laugh. You remember how you’ve always confided in him and not once had he broken your trust. So when you’re in an empty hallway you decide to fess up about your crush, the kiss and what you had heard him say.

Cedric stares at you and you can’t figure out what exactly he’s thinking until he finally speaks up. “I’m not one to throw punches, but excuse me for a moment.” He says and turns around, but you grab his arm and pull him back. “No. It won’t do any good. Plus you’ll get hurt, I don’t want that.” He huffs. “I could take him.” You try to hide your smile as he flexes his arms. “Okay, maybe not a fight, but he has to pay in some way. I mean does he not realize what an amazing person he’s missing out on.” Your eyes glinster as you watch him. Yeah, why couldn’t that idiot see me?! Suddenly something in you clicks and you look Cedric up and down, before pursing your lips with mischief in your eyes. The hufflepuff in front of you frowns as he sees trouble. “You want to help me make him realize he’s an idiot.” Cedric nods, slightly wary of what you’re planning. “Want to be my fake boyfriend?” A cheeky smile tugs on his lips. “I thought you would never ask.” He jokes, but he quickly turns serious. “He is so going to regret taking you for granted.”

V. He fell harder

The plan was simple: hold hands, snuggle, spend a ridiculous amount of time together and simply act like Cedric was the only guy at Hogwarts. Meanwhile Cedric was being a perfect fake boyfriend, he walked you to your classes and held your books. You spent every meal together, sitting uncomfortably close to each other. When no one was around you would spend your time laughing at your own behavior.

But as much fun as you were having pretending to be over your crush, he was far from having a good time. An intense feeling of jealousy settled in his stomach and made his heart ache in a way that turned his eyes lifeless.

Mattheo

Theodore gave Mattheo a soft elbow so he would stop staring at the Hufflepuff table, but he didn’t budge. Mattheo was too busy hurting himself by watching Cedric’s arm hang over your shoulder. When Theodore again shoves his elbow in Mattheo’s direction he looks at Theo with a troubled look. “That’s toxic behavior right. It’s like he owns her or something.” Pansy immediately snickers at Mattheo’s words, making him turn towards her with a scowl on his face. “If you were truly a good friend you would do something about it.” Pansy raises eyebrows at Mattheo's argument. “I love it when karma’s a bitch.” Pansy says looking away from Mattheo with a content smile, not getting involved with his jealous act.

Mattheo ignores Pansy, not ready to admit that maybe he was in the wrong by assuming you would wait for him forever. He looks back over to you and instantly regrets it as he now has to watch Cedric whisper something in your ear that makes you laugh so beautifully that Mattheo feels his heart being ripped from his chest. “Stop looking.” Blaise says when he sees Mattheo’s face fill with pain. “I don’t get girls. Two days ago she was still simping over me like a lost puppy and now it’s Cedric.” No one really wants to respond to Mattheo’s statement, since how Mattheo had treated you wasn’t fair but at the same time they knew he just needed a little more time to come to terms with his feelings. Enzo turns around to look at you and Cedric. “Honestly, it’s not that surprising, they’ve been hanging out since first year. Guess he just finally made a move.” Theodore stares at Enzo for being this blunt about the situation. Mattheo looks at Lorenzo with an unreadable expression, before looking at his plate. “Good for him.” He eventually mutters. After two more bites he gets up and leaves the great hall, you watch him from your cozy spot next to Cedric and you can’t help but miss Mattheo despite how much he had hurt you.

Theodore

He entered the great hall and immediately his eyes rolled at the sight of you next to Cedric. He joins his friends at the slytherin table without taking his eyes off of you. “That’s just inappropriate. She’s basically on top of him.” Enzo turns like the obvious person he is and looks back at Theo, grinning like an idiot while Theo is far from pleased. “They look cute together.” Mattheo’s wide eyes shoot up at Enzo, before he looks at his heartbroken friend. “Yeah. Sure.” Theodore mumbles and finally looks away. “There’s other girls, mate.” Mattheo says before patting Theo on the back. This for some reason hurts even more, Theodore hates the idea of moving on from you. “I don’t get it. Why is she suddenly into him? It makes no sense. She was into me. I mean it was obvious, right?” Enzo raises his eyebrows at Theo’s agitated voice, but before anyone can say anything he continues. “Like, why would she go for that?” His eyes move back to Cedric whispering something, apparently hilarious, into your ear making you giggle.

Theodore grits his teeth. You were so pretty with that slight blush on your face. He used to get to see that every time he talked to you and he loved it. He loved you and now that he had finally realized that you were in some other guy's arms. Pansy’s snickering pulls Theodore away from you, but he avoids her and looks straight back at his plate. “Did you seriously expect her to wait for you forever? Gods, you men are so simple.” Blaise turns to Pansy. “Can you be any more insensitive?” Pansy shrugs. “Like he was when he let her run after him for almost a year.” Suddenly there’s a loud clattering noise as Theodore throws his fork onto his plate and gets up. All the guys judge Pansy, but she couldn’t care less.

With Cedric’s arm around your shoulder, you watch Theodore speed walk out of the great hall. You can’t help but chew your lip wondering if you’re on his mind at all.

VI. You played the game too well

The week went by and you hadn’t talked to him once. Only one or two stolen glances. However, you expected everything to change at tonight’s party.

“Definitely jealous.” Cedric says as you meet his eyes in the mirror. “Really?” You ask, unable to hide your childlike joy. “Yeah, trust me. The staring is so obvious. It’s almost embarrassing.” You chew your lip at the idea that your crush is actually interested in you. “Which is kinda why I think you should talk to him.” Your eyebrows knit together at the Hufflepuff’s words. “Why? He accused me of simping. He should apologize to me.” You turn around to face your fake boyfriend who sat on your bed smiling. “Yeah and I think he should, but I fear you might be expecting too much of a slytherin with issues.” You look at him a little confused and he sighs. “Look (y/n), you’re clearly still into the guy which I don’t think is your best move, but I won’t judge….” You frown. “That’s judging.” Cedric tilts his head in an apologetic way and continues his argument. “The thing is I don’t know if he’s going to start begging…” Your eyes are focussed on Cedric since you clearly haven’t caught on and Cedric tries to explain it as simply as possible. “I fear he might just act out like a toddler that just has his candy taken away. We’re playing this game really well and as confident as he pretends to be I think he won’t reach out if he thinks you’ve forgotten about him.”

Cedric left to get changed for tonight’s party and you continue to get ready as well. You mind dwelled on Cedric’s words. Part of you wanted to reach out and talk, but you also didn’t want to prove how much of a simp you really were for him. He might not be jealous at all and then I would just make a fool of myself. He should come to me… and he will… tonight. With determination you stared yourself down in the mirror. Tonight he would simp for you.

You jump to the music with Cedric and Luna by your side. You’re having a great time, but still your eyes darted around the room. It was past midnight and you hadn’t seen your idiot of a crush yet.

However, his eyes had been on you all night.

Mattheo

Leaning against a wall with a drink in his hand he watches you be pretty and have fun. It was gut wrenching to see you with someone else. He cursed himself and down his drink. When he moves to place his empty cup on a table a very flirty and drunk girl approaches him. With one dance move she wraps his arm around her own body. For a moment Mattheo’s eyes scan over the girl’s body moving against his, but then his mind goes back to you and he searches for your beautiful figure in the crowd.

To his surprise you’re looking at him. His heart starts pounding now that your eyes are on him. But then he notices you’ve stopped moving. He’s not sure, but it looks as if all joy had been drained from your figure. The girl in Mattheo’s arms whispers something in his ear, but he doesn’t even proces her words as he watches you look away from him.

When he sees Cedric look over to him and say something to you he gently pushes the girl in his arms away. The next moment you push Cedric away and move towards the exit, Mattheo desperately tries to follow you. You were clearly upset about something and he just knew he needed to be with you. His heart started racing even more, he hadn’t talked to you in a week and he was unsure what he would say or do if he caught up to you.

He had pushed everyone aside and was only seconds behind you, but when he finally got to the hallway you were nowhere to be seen. His worried eyes darted around until he heard soft sobs and knew by the aching of his heart it was you.

You were standing just behind a corner, in a dark hallway, trying to keep yourself quiet so as to not draw any attention. Your mind was still in the moment where Mattheo was looking at the girl in his arms. The kiss you two had shared was just out of convenience, he wasn’t jealous, quite to the contrary he was over you… if he was ever interested at all. You want to let your body slide down the wall since your sadness is making your legs tremble, but suddenly Mattheo’s hand reaches for your side keeping you steady. Your eyes scan him up and down, not willing to believe it’s actually him. “What happened? Did Cedric do something?” You immediately shake your head, but it takes a while for you to answer as your throat still feels dry. “No.” Your voice is shaky and Mattheo’s thumb caresses your cheek wiping a few tears away.

It’s this gesture that pisses you off. “Go back to that slutty thing.” You snap and push away his hand. He’s shocked by your reaction, but after a second of confusion his eyebrows knit together. “Is that what this is about?” There’s a hint of frustration in his voice. You grit your teeth annoyed with your own jealousy. Frustration boils up, this was not how it was supposed to play out. He was supposed to be jealous. “You said I was an easy play. You don’t just kiss people for the fun of it, Mattheo. I wasn’t simping over you. You hurt me.” Your rant doesn’t make a lot of sense to Mattheo, but those last words trigger something.

“I hurt you? You left me out of nowhere and just… just forgot about me… suddenly you’re all over Cedric. Watching you in his arms, hurt me, every god damn day, (y/n)!” He is so close to your face, it’s intimidating, but you don’t back down. “Good. Now you know to never take me for granted.” Your words are stern and calm him down in a way, so he can now finally connect the dots. His breath is still unsteady, but his eyes have calmed down. “You and Cedric aren't actually dating?” Your heart is still racing, but your anger has subsided. “No.” You whisper. “I really thought you were.” There’s a sadness in his voice that makes you feel a little guilty, but he doesn’t allow you to think about it because the next moment his lips crash onto yours.

The kiss is harsh, almost punishing, but you still desperately embrace it. Your hands make their way up to his neck and hair while he pushes himself into you, earning a soft whimper from you. You had been longing for this for so long, this was the real thing, this was Mattheo’s raw love. “Don’t ever play games like this with me again.” He warns, voice husky and dark, before kissing you with even more lust than before.

Theodore

Seated with his drunk friends Theodore stared at you, like he had been doing for the entire night, only looking away to reach for his drink on the table in front of him. He had barely even gone out to smoke, it was confusing how he continued to torture himself by watching you be happy dancing with some other guy. Theo reached for his drink, when suddenly a very tipsy girl slipped her hand on his leg and settles next to him on the couch. “Theoooo.” She sang as her other hand snaked to the back of his head playing with a few strands of his hair. Theodore stares her down before rolling his eyes and returning his gaze back to you.

It felt like the air in the room was being sucked away as your eyes looked directly at him. He was happy to know you still knew he existed, but it only lasted for a moment. You look almost disgusted with him and immediately turn away from him, making Theodore frown. The next thing confuses Theo even more as he watches you shake your head at Cedric and head for the door. Something was wrong and he just needed to be with you, he felt drawn to you and quickly made his way through the crowd.

When you’re finally outside you can no longer hold back tears. Theodore wasn’t jealous and he wasn’t going to be begging for you tonight. Your plan failed and now you were even further away from him than ever. Sobbing you speed walk to get as far away as possible, but you don’t get very far. His large warm hand wraps around your wrist and pulls you into his tall body. “What happened?” A worried Theo meets your eyes and his free hand snakes up to your face, cupping your cheek.

”You!” You snap and take a step back. “You said I was a simp, I was easy.” Theodore is baffled at your angered voice and the tears that continue to stream down. “You should’ve never taken advantage of me and kissed me.” Theo frowns. “I-I didn’t mean to-” He can’t think of anything to say. He did say those things and maybe he did take advantage of you, but he never meant to because he truly cared about you. He loved you. His silence makes you sob even louder. “And then you just jump the first girl that approaches you. Do I mean nothing to you?” At your question Theodore grits his teeth. “You mean the world to me, but you were suddenly off with Cedric like I didn’t exist. What was I supposed to do?” His eyes are filled with anger and desperation, making you look down at your feet. It’s your sudden silence that makes Theo suspicious. “Don’t tell me you started dating him to get me jealous?” You wisely decide to keep staring at your feet, avoiding his piercing gaze.

He grabs your chin, demanding an answer. “We’re not actually dating. I just wanted you to see me.” Theodore looks away from you as a mix of emotions surges through him. No words can explain how angry and in love he is with you, so after a nasty curse in Italian he pushes you against the wall and slams his body against yours. His kiss is intense and leaves you without air. He rests his head against yours. “Let tonight be a reminder to never play games with me again.”

VII. Smut! bonus: exactly how I like you

Mattheo

You ignoring Mattheo for a week had gotten him more hot and bothered than you realized, but now that he finally had you alone in his room you were gonna find out. He knew you wanted him, so there was really no need for him to be polite about it. He shuts the door behind him and breaks the sloppy kiss to forcefully turn you around, pushing you against a wall. “I want you naked and underneath me.” He whispers in your ear as he unzips your dress. He kisses your shoulders as he lowers your dress until it slips down your perfect figure. His already hard dick pushes against your ass through the fabric of his pants, while he squeezes your breasts through your bra. A whiny moan escapes you as you feel your panties soak, earning you an animalistic growl from deep down his throat. “This is what you’ve wanted for so long, isn’t it? Me having my way with you?” You nod and a sloppy sound of agreement leaves your lips. You can feel Mattheo’s smirk against your skin, but he immediately goes back to focusing on your body, taking off your bra and turning you around so your perked nipples are faced towards him.

Slowly his hands caress your boobs, his mouth hangs open in admiration of your beauty. “You belong to me.” He squeezes your breast and presses his lips against yours. “I belong-” With one hand playing with your nipple he earns a moan from you and presses his smirking lips against your temple waiting for you to finish your sentence. “to you.” You breathe out so beautifully it makes his dick twitch in his pants. “Damn, you need to be fucked so desperately?” You nod and his hand slips to your drenched panties, making you whimper in embarrassment as a filthy smile appears on his face. “Fuck, princess, I love you so much, you’re so desperate for me.” You hear the hunger in his voice and softly buck your hips as he inserts a finger. You cling to his shoulders as the movement of his fingers makes your knees go weak. You cry his name as circles your clit, wanting more of your needy whiny moans.

“Please, Mattheo, fuck me.” You beg as your moans turn into whimpers. His smug smile stays in place as he watches you. “No. You’re going to cum for me.” He demands and curls his fingers in a way that has you instantly climax. While you’re still feeling all the sensations of your orgasm rush through your body, Mattheo picks you up and walks you to his bed. He slips off your panties and just watches your wet cunt as he uncaps his belt and reaches for his hard thobbing cock. You moan at the beautiful sight of Mattheo jerking between your legs. You’ve wanted this exact thing for so long and happily spread your legs a little wider, making him smirk. “I love a good girl.” He whispers darkly as he crawls onto the bed and lines himself up with your entrance. “You are going to take me so well.”

At a slow pace he works himself into your pussy, making sure to stretch you without hurting you. “You’re deep.” You whine at his size fully inside of you. He leans down and kisses you, before moving his lips to your ear. “Yeah, but I’m also fully inside, which means I’m yours.” His hoarse voice has you throw your head back, giving him the signal to start pounding into your desperate cunt. There isn’t much mercy in Mattheo as he grabs your thighs and slams his dick into you again and again and again… As you feel your second orgasm approach you arch your back and he selfishly chases his own high, knowing that you’ll come any moment. As he fills you up with his seed he can’t help but think about how much of a simp you are for him: exactly how I like you.

Theodore

“Let tonight be a reminder to never play games with me again.” Well, you surely were never going to forget tonight and you already knew that when Theo dragged you to a nearby classroom. In between sloppy kisses he had reached for your hand and guided it to his pants, where you eagerly started to pump his dick. When your hand was soaked with his precum he unzipped his pants. “You want me?” You nod, feeling your pussy get wet at the idea. Pleased with your answer, his mouth is back onto yours. “Then get on your knees.” He demands pulling out his hard member. With your mouth already hanging open you lower to your knees. Theodore smirks at the view of your desperate mouth. “I love how compliant you are.”

You struggle to take him whole, but you want to so badly and Theo grips your hair. “Slowly love, give yourself some time.” You take his advice and let him guide his dick in your mouth, fucking in slowly but steadily. “Merlin, you're beautiful on your knees for me.” He moans as you keep your eyes on him. Your eyes get teary as he gets slightly rougher, but his strokes your hair reassuring you. “If you continue to take me this well, I’ll eat that needy pussy of yours.” You almost roll your eyes at his words making a mess of your panties. Only moments later his seed fills your mouth, you struggle to swallow but do so non the less and that view alone almost gets him hard again.

Still panting himself he pulls you up and works down your panties. Your hands grip the desk behind you and for a moment you worry which classroom you’re actually in, making you yelp in pleasure as his mouth digs in on your soaking cunt. You cry his name over and over again as his tongue fucks your pussy, making your legs give in a little but luckily Theodore takes a firm hold of your thighs and keeps you in place. Feeling supported by his strong arms one hand lets go of the desk behind you and settles in Theo’s hair. “I want you, Theo. Please, it’s okay, just fuck me already.” You beg, but it only makes him force his face deeper in between your legs, making your stomach twist just before coming on his tongue. “Now I’ll fuck you.” You hear his husky voice from between your legs and your eyes roll back.

His cock was hard again and he was harsher than before as he turned you around and bent you over the desk you had just held onto. With one brute tugg he pulls your bra and dress down so your breasts are exposed to the cold air. With one hand playing with a boob his other is free to guide his dick inside of you. You cry out his name as he picks up the pace rather quickly. “Isn’t this what you wanted?” He asks and you can imagine the smug smile on his lips. When you don’t immediately answer he starts pounding into you even harder. “Yes. Yes this is what I wanted.” You whimper as your face gets teary. Finally having what you wanted from him felt better than you had ever imagined. Your desperation and Theo’s powerful thrusts had your clit thobbing in seconds and your walls clenched around his cock as you came for a second time that night. Tightly holding onto your breasts Theodore watched his dick slide in and out of you, overstimulating your pussy, until he came for a second time as well. Gods, this was exactly how he liked you: simping for him and filled up with his seed.

Picture source: https://pin.it/6AnYUtD1c

[avatar-anna]

i saw this post on and got inspired. enjoy!

"It was nice running into you."

"Yeah, yeah, you too. It was—I'm glad we could catch up."

You held your bag in both of your hands and leaned back on your heels, waiting for the sudden tension to cease. Harry scratched his neck awkwardly while you looked down at the cobbled streets beneath your shoes. When a minute passed and neither of you said anything, when two couples excised themselves to walk past you, you finally decided to break the silence.

"I'm headed this way."

"Me too. We can walk together?"

"O—Okay."

Harry extended his arm out, a clear message for you to go first, so you did. For a split second, his hand grazed your lower back in that protective gesture he always used to use when you walked anywhere. But that had been when you were together, and now you weren't, and even though his hand merely hovered awkwardly behind you, you swore you could still feel it.

"Your hair looks nice. I don't think I've ever seen it so short before," you said, needing to break the silence all over again before it consumed you.

"Thanks, I, uh, I shaved it a few months back. It's finally starting to grow in."

It must've been soon after your break up, you realized, quickly doing the math in your head. A change, a fresh start after the end of a long relationship. You understood that, knew neither of you needed to comment on it, or the fact that you no longer wore the necklace Harry bought you for your first anniversary, though you'd seen him glance down at the missing piece of jewelry multiple times since you ran into each other.

"It's cute," you said, resisting the intrusive urge to reach up and touch his hair, instead clasping your hands behind your back.

"Are you across the bridge?" Harry asked, gesturing to one of the many bridges that stretched across the Tiber.

"Yeah. How'd you know?"

Harry shrugged, the canvas bag on his shoulder slipping a fraction. "You always liked Trastevere."

You smiled, charmed by how Harry still seemed to know you so intrinsically. "And you? Are you staying in Prati?"

Harry shook his head before waving to a fan who had spotted him. He didn't stop, though, and kept walking beside you, asking about your family, specifically your grandmother, who was his Scrabble partner nearly the entirety of your relationship.

"Good. I play Scrabble with her on the weekends now. I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm not a good enough opponent, but she'll never say it to my face."

"Graceful as always, your nan," Harry nodded in agreement. "Probably wouldn't say the same thing about chess, though."

"No, probably not. Do you still play?" you asked, tilting your head up to look at him.

He was so close, close enough that the sleeve of his green shirt grazed your bare arm. Close enough that if you really wanted it to the back of your hand could graze his. Instead you shifted your hand away.

"When I can," Harry said, his mouth twitching as if recalling a memory. "I've been focusing on writing most days, but I play whenever I'm stuck."

"How's that going?"

"How's work?"

"Sorry, go ahead," you said, blushing a little. Would it always be this awkward around him? You hoped not. Harry had been a friend first, and even though you knew you shouldn't,y you missed his companionship some nights. Lots of nights. Most nights.

"No, you go. Catch me up on all the latest drama at work."

So you did, falling back into familiar, neutral territory as you brought Harry up to speed on your co-workers.

Before long, you'd made it to the apartment you were renting, your palms suddenly warm as you searched your purse for your keys. You were stalling, you both knew it, but Harry didn't comment, nor did he leave, didn't offer any reason to finally say goodbye.

You knew this was where it was supposed to end. That a chance encounter with your ex in a foreign country really shouldn't have gone on this long. You knew that, and yet...

"Do you want to come in?" you asked, scrambling for any logical reason as to why Harry should follow you into your apartment. "I—I, uh, I could make us coffee and—"

"Please. I mean—Sure. That would be...that would be fine."

Relief flooded through you, though that was quickly replaced by a guilty sort of anticipation as you unlocked the door to the main building of the apartment, as Harry followed you up a couple flights of stairs, as he waited once again for you to unlock a door. When you were inside, when you set your things down on the small dining table, you turned to face your ex.

Harry's gaze was once again lowered to your collarbones, to the place where the necklace he gave you used to sit. Then he met your eyes, the expression in them clear. It was the first time you'd seen them since running into him today. He'd kept his sunglasses on the whole time, perhaps to hide his expressions more, because now that you properly met his gaze, you saw it all. Those green eyes you still loved so much betrayed his every thought, and you knew yours probably did as well.

It was hard to say who moved first. If you grabbed the front of Harry's shirt before he wrapped an arm around your waist and fisted your hair in his other hand. But none of it mattered when your mouth met his, when your hands traveled up to cup the sides of his face, your thumbs tracing the familiar planes of his face.

A graze of his teeth against your bottom lip had you gasping, had him smiling as if that was the exact reaction he'd been hoping for. You responded in kind by dragging your nails down his scalp, satisfied by the groan that vibrated against your mouth as his tongue caressed yours.

"This isn't—It's not—" you tried to say, losing focus as Harry left a trail of kisses from your jaw to the base of your neck and back up again. "This doesn't mean—"

"I know," Harry breathed, his forehead pressed against yours as he toyed with the bow that held the front of your blouse together. Your breath hitched as his knuckle grazed your exposed stomach. "This doesn't change anything. Now take this off."

You almost made him do it just because he ordered you to, but you knew why he wanted you to be the one to untie the knot of your blouse. It meant you were saying yes to this moment, it meant you were saying yes to doing whatever it was you were about to do.

So you pulled at the blouse until it came undone, leaving it open so it revealed a strip of bare skin going right up the middle of your body. The rest you would leave up to him.

Harry shrugged out of his own sweater and t-shirt before reaching out to push back the shoulders of your shirt until it was off completely, falling into a puddle of fabric at your feet beside his. His gaze alone was too much and not enough, more explicit than it had any right to be. He stood there and drank you in for a full minute as if in a daze, taking in every mark and imperfect like he was reacquainting himself.

It was hard to get the words out, but you managed. "Still broken up?"

"Yeah," Harry said, his eyes still roving over every inch of your body that he could see. Then he blinked as if remembering the situation for what it was. "Yeah, still broken up."

There wasn't much left to say after that, really.

[navybrat817]

Oh, this smirk!

The Rejects

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader, mentioned Steve Rogers x Female Reader, mentioned Bucky Barnes x Natasha Romanoff

Summary: Bucky address the elephant in the room.

Word Count: 1.1k

Warnings: Flirting, friends with benefits (not Bucky x Reader), light angst, tension, Bucky Barnes (yep, he's a warning)

A/N: This was meant to be something else completely, but the muse did what she wanted. ❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

“You jealous?”

Looking up from the Scrabble board, you suppressed the urge to roll your eyes at Bucky’s smug expression. “Jealous of what exactly?” you asked, downing the rest of your drink and not flinching at the sting.

“Come on. You know what,” he answered, crossing his arms as he leaned on the table. “Or do I need to say it?”

“Please, enlighten me,” you said as you placed a square on the board. You knew exactly what he was referring to, but you’d play his game. “Go on. Don’t be shy.”

“Steve and Natasha sleeping together,” he answered.

Big boy actually said it.

You allowed the eyeroll to happen when he smirked. They left the two of you alone almost an hour ago and it was a feat that you went that long without acknowledging it. “No, I’m not. Why would I be?”

Bucky pointed at you with his beer bottle. “Because you used to hook up with Steve.”

“And you used to sleep with Natasha,” you said without skipping a beat. That wiped the smirk off his face. “So sorry you got stuck playing Scrabble with a reject like me.”

You didn’t have super soldier hearing the way he did, but you heard his teeth grind when he selected his next piece. “You’re not a reject,” he said above a whisper.

Neither of you spoke as you kept playing. After a bad mission months ago, you slept with Steve. It wasn’t a big deal. Adrenaline was high and he gave you the release you needed. Expecting it to be a one time thing, it surprised you when he shoved you against a wall days later. You fell into a “friends with benefits” arrangement with him after that.

While he treated you well enough, you both maintained that it wouldn’t go beyond sex. From what Natasha told you, she had a similar arrangement with Bucky. It worked for your needs.

You were content.

Until you noticed how Steve and Natasha’s gazes lingered on each other after briefings. How easily they fell in step beside each other despite their sometimes opposing views. She trusted the Captain, which wasn’t easy for the former spy. Steve respected her and that said something. You accepted that they needed each other and quietly removed yourself from the equation.

Bucky did the same.

“You know what? I am jealous,” you admitted, the game forgotten at that point. “But not because they’re sleeping together.”

Bucky’s cheek twitched, like he didn’t quite believe you. “Then why are you?”

Glancing down the hall before you looked back at Bucky, you sighed. “As happy as I am for them, I'm a little sad for myself. Because they found something in each other that no one has found with me,” you told him, narrowing your eyes when his slightly widened. “What?” you asked. If the former Winter Soldier made fun of you or laughed, you wouldn’t hesitate to smack him because you weren’t afraid of him.

“Nothing,” he said, the index finger on his vibranium hand tapping the table in a fast motion. “I just understand how you feel.”

Shame flooded you for thinking he’d poke fun at your vulnerability. He wasn’t a bad guy. Far from it. In fact, Steve never got jealous or insecure when you talked to Bucky and Natasha hadn’t either. They encouraged the two of you to become friends. Looking back, it was easy to think they supported the friendship to phase you two out. But you knew that wasn’t the case.

They weren’t cruel.

What would’ve happened if I slept with Bucky instead of Steve? Is it wrong that I’ve thought about that more than once?

“So, why are a couple of 'rejects' like us who are not jealous of our former lovers sitting here playing board games instead of going out and looking for ‘the one’?” you teased.

“Because I was too chicken to ask you out tonight, even after I got the okay from Steve.”

What?

You blinked once. Twice. “Your best friend, who has been inside me, is cool with you asking me out?”

He winced at your choice of words. “Well, when you put it like that. Yeah?” he replied, before he straightened up, confidence filling those pretty blue eyes of his. “I don’t give a fuck that you slept with Steve. I’m asking you out.”

Your smile turned a little warmer and you reigned your claws in. “You want to take me on a date?” you asked, your heart swelling when he ran a hand through his hair and nodded. "If this is just to fill a void, I don't think it's a good idea."

If Bucky needed that, you understood. But could you do that again? No. Not with him.

"I'm asking because I want to, doll. You're a badass and I like your company," he said. That was a big deal since Bucky only seemed to like a handful of people. "And if you’ll let me, I’ll ruin you.”

Fuck.

“I don’t know,” you said in a singsong voice, stretching and purposely sticking your chest out to draw his gaze to your breasts. “We’ve both done the whole friends with benefits thing before and-”

He reached across the table to take your hand. “You wouldn’t be my friend. You’d be my girl.”

Your stomach did a funny flip, something you hadn’t felt in a long time. The word “yes” was on the tip of your tongue. Because you had a right to be happy. All of you did.

I slept with Steve. Natasha slept with Bucky. Steve is sleeping with Natasha. The next logical step is sleeping with Bucky, right? Who knew math could be fun?

“What would Nat think?” you asked. Though you were certain she had no feelings for Bucky beyond friendship, you didn’t want her to be uncomfortable just because you were fine with her and Steve.

Your phone buzzed a half a minute later with a text from the former Black Widow herself.

“Go for it. He'll be good to you and you deserve it.”

Bucky chuckled when you looked back down the hall. “Steve and his fucking hearing,” you muttered before you threw your head back. “Stop listening to our conversation! That’s rude!”

“Sorry!” Steve yelled back.

You smiled at Bucky, the atmosphere lighter even with the tension. “Okay. You beat me in Scrabble, you pick where we go for our first date. I win, I get to pick and no complaints.”

His eyes lit up as your heart raced. “Deal,” he said, the smirk slowly appearing on his face again. “But the loser has to play the next game naked.”

“Game on, Barnes.”

So, there we go. 😂 I hope you lovelies liked it! More of these two with A Couple of Cuties. Love and thanks for reading. 💙

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[captainuranium543]

Ft headcanons nobody wanted part 2

-natsu will occasionally get genuinely jealous over his friends owning appliances for heating. Why should they need those things when they have him, if they just call him over her do a way better job then any of those stupid gadgets. He finds out gray owns a hair dryer and immediately becomes a jealous ex girlfriend. He confronts Lucy in her apartment one night acting so serious he she doesn't even get mad that he broke in, then just goes "care to explain this?" And puts a lighter on the table.

- Wendy is very very quiet. Creepily so. Not elaborating but I think you can imagine the kinds of situations this leads to.

- Mira's eyes glow in the dark and it creeps everyone the fuck out

- erza has the worst hoarding problem. Her dorm room is entirely piled floor to ceiling with boxes of meticulously organized random items she refuses to throw out for some reason

young Mira: "alright this is ridiculous why do you even have this"

Young erza: "say what you want but when you need 746 packets of Mcnolias sweet and sour sauce and find your supply baron I'll be laughing"

- levy is one of the few members of the guild who actively sought it out to join. Before fairy tail she was an orphan and a student studying magic. She left to join fairy tail to learn more about magic in general from real world experience.

- laki will sometimes build creepily realistic wooden statues of her guild mates and leave them around in inconspicuous places so when you find them they scare the shit out of you. Sometimes she hides them too well and it takes years to discover them.

- Lucy has actually written several unpublished novels and the only other person who's ever seen them is levy. Lucy thinks their crap but levy carefully annotates every single one.

- laxus used to occasionally be forced to go on jobs with erza and Mira when they were young both to help and to make sure they didn't kill each other and he hated it.

- I think I might have said this before but I firmly believe levy, Lucy, freed and jellal later on all form a book club because they love reading, the problem is they all have vastly different tastes in book so they can never decide what to read each week and usually just end up playing Scrabble and talking shit about their various teammates

"please guys trust me this one's good"

"I am NOT reading Colleen Hoover Lucy and that's final"

- this one's based on city hero but I personally believe erza and Erik find a shocking common ground over motorcycles. Erza likes vehicles in general and Erik took up bike racing as a hobby, since discovering this is the longest they've been able to be in the same room together without someone throwing a punch.

- Wendy visits lamia scale regularly still to hang out with chelia. she usually brings romeo and they all go out to do whatever dumb kid stuff they want. (Tbh I just like her having friends her own age)

-lucy sometimes randomly lets her rich girl's heritage show in random conversation and it's always jarring. You'll be having a normal chill convo with her and then she'll look you dead in the eyes and ask you what colour your personal carriage was growing up.

- Natsu is genuinely a really good cook he just has a terrible taste so nobody wants to eat his food. For reference he only ever cooks his food because he enjoys doing it to him it tastes fine either way.

- if you had asked the fairy tail guild who the scariest guild member was in early season 1 the answers would have been erza, guildarts, laxus etc all the usual suspects. Once season 2 starts however the answer is unanimous. It's juvia. Juvia is fucking terrifying when she gets mad. You don't realize how scary water can be until it's filling your lungs and as your vision blurs until all you can see is her merciless stare.

- Mira and freed can drink blood for demon reasons. gray can too after getting devil slayer but he thinks its gross. Surprisingly so can gajeel because of the high iron content.

- gray the type of guy who's bed has only the smallest thinnest blanket on his bed and usually it's on the ground cuz he gets too hot

- meanwhile erza is the type of girl to have so many pillows, blankets and plushies on her bed you wonder how she fucking sleeps in it. Mf has a NEST.

- Lucy isn't even surprised anymore when she finds people in her house, she doesn't know how they keep getting in and honestly she doesn't care anymore she's to tired to deal with it.

- freed plays a lot of really fucking weird instruments. Idk it just seems like something he would do.

- bixlow can speak most languages and it's always really surprising when he randomly says smth like "oh yea I can speak ancient nirvid no prob" like that's totally normal

- if laxus and freed ever did get together (in my heart it's cannon) evergreen and bixlow would be their biggest haters. Yea they love them and they're happy for them but also EW. GROSS. GET A ROOM.

[djljpanda]

Same anon from https://www.tumblr.com/djljpanda/729765849772228608/hi-just-discovered-your-tumblr-and-thought-id-say

May I be snow anon plz? Also...can't help but imagine one funny senario with all cookies, you can involve beasts or not if you want:

Imagine if y/n was naive and innocent and can get easily distracted....like two cookies could be duking it out for their attention only to discover y/n got distracted and was now watching a butterfly on a flower...like if the cookies took their eyes off y/n for too long or something, y/n wanders off lmao! Also can imagine y/n being confused why cookies are fighting eachother, not realizing it's for their attention.

Bonus if you want...if you want a playful naive fighter y/n senario too: imagine if y/n sees two cookies fighting, thinks they are sparring or play fighting...and just runs up and joins in!

Y/n, seeing two cookies duking it out for y/n's attention but y/n doesn't understand that: oooh that looks fun!

Cookie 1: their eyes should be on me!

Cookie 2: no, they should be on-huh?

The two cookies, turning to see y/n running straight at them with fire in their eyes: WAIT Y/N NOOOO!

*both end up punched in the face by y/n who thought they were sparring or having some sort of fun fight and wanting to join in!*

Y/n: did I win? 😃

Fallen Hero’s/Beast x Reader

I remember you snow anon.

This all happens before their fall from grace.

Now Reader cookie has been traveling with the hero’s for quite awhile now as she was encouraged by the five to join them. But along the way all of them had developed feelings for the cookie.

Innocent Reader, always sees these cookies as friends and would be confused on why they scrabbled allot with each other, just to hold your hand? Now you hate to say that the butterfly flying around was the reason you got lost. But not for long as you saw Eternal sugar cookie come flying down, “oh I was so worried about you how could you get lost like that”. Eternal sugar cookie was always the first to find you and he sit did upset the others.

But at times while you were out doing something’s the rest might start fighting. Let’s say you were leaving to go collect some wood for the town you and the hero’s were helping with. Burning spice cookie, shadow milk cookie, and silent salt cookie had joined you while eternal sugar cookie and mystic flour cookie stayed behind in case if any other cookies may need their help.

But as time went by the two cookies had started to argue as both thought that they will treat you better which led to them about to physically start fight till they heard you and the others returned. When you questioned the two cookies they just pushed off the question while they helped you with the wood you collected.

Fighter reader, here you went with eternal sugar cookie, burning spice cookie, and mystic flour cookie to help some cookies with food. As you four left silent salt cookie and shadow milk cookie decided to spat together but as it continued they truly did started to fight as the topic of you came up. But both were token off guard as they were both knocked to the ground as all confusion went away they look up to see you smiling with the other cookies looking along. “You should have told you two were going to spar I would have stayed back”, you smiled helping the two up as you all got ready to go and help other cookies civilizations.

Other cookies that can fit your scenario-

Affogato cookie and Caramel Arrow cookie

Raspberry mousse cookie and Raspberry cookie

Lilac cookie and Scorpion cookie

Lotus dragon cookie and Longan dragon cookie

Red velvet cookie and Dark choco cookie

Linzer cookie and Crème brlee cookie

[prettybaby-reid]

Criminal Minds topics I could write an essay about:

-Haley is over-hated and many of the things people used to justify disliking her are reaches and actually don’t mean anything in actuality. you can simply just not like her character, but acting like you have real “moral” justification is just delusional atp.

- in 4x22/5x01 when Foyet attacks Hotch in his apartment, it’s 100% s/a in some form. whether it’s in the traditional sense or not, Foyet clearly intends for it to have the same effect on Hotch.

-Yes Elle was valid to a certain extent for shooting the rapist in her second to last appearance, it was 100% not the same thing as Hotch murdering Foyet in episode 100.

-Spencer is highly baby-ified by the fandom and it’s insufferable to watch the way people treat other characters for offhanded teases they make at him.

-Jj wasn’t wrong for not telling Spencer that Emily was alive. Jj was wrong for continuously letting Spencer come over for 10 weeks to cry about it, knowing that Emily was alive and she was playing fucking scrabble with her. She could have easily said she wasn’t able to handle everything and let him go to morgan/garcia.

-The writers of criminal minds know how to write episodes and plotlines, but they don’t know how to write consistent character ideas and backstories. they also don’t know how to properly write characters trauma. immediately after Jj is kidnapped, they’re all in a bar together…that doesn’t make sense. she should be in a hospital or at home, not keke-ing with the homies.

-Although the writers are inconsistent with backstories, some of the things people think “don’t add up” actually do add up if you thought for longer than 5 seconds.

-the Cat Adams plotline and Cat as a character is so good until Reids prison arc when they say that Cat had the other girl s/a him, that’s so out of bounds for her. She hates men for what they do to women, specifically the violence men perpetrate towards women, more specifically s/a and domestic violence…why would she s/a Spencer.

-On the topic of the Cat/Spencer s/a topic…that’s definitely a pullover from the fact that it was supposed to be Hotch who was in prison but they had to switch it after Thomas Gibson left. I have an idea of what it could have originally been considering it was supposed to be Hotch/Mr. Scratch, but no solid proof.

[stars-tonight]

Hiiii!! Love the event that you are doing! Sounds so fun! Can I have Milk and Cookies with never have I ever? I’m so excited to see who it is lol!!!!

Love your writing style!!!

ANIMAL SHELTER DATE (FT. USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI)

milk and cookies → ushijima wakatoshi

never have i ever → animal shelter date

synopsis: you take your large, stoic boyfriend to the animal shelter to look at cute animals. pre-established relationship. fluff

word count: 776

“‘toshi, come look!”

you practically drag your boyfriend to a cage where a tortoiseshell cat sleeps. “how cute!”

ushijima tilts his head, studying the animal. an animal shelter wasn’t what he was expecting when you had asked him to hang out today. when he realized where you were taking him. . .

well. he went along because he wasn’t about to say no to you. you had seemed so excited at the idea of going to an animal shelter--he knows you adore animals. and maybe it’s just that: going to see cute animals.

but ushijima can’t help but feel sorry for them. they don’t fit in anywhere; they live at the shelter, sure, but shelter life isn’t suitable for any living creature. people come and stare at them, coo at them, take pictures. much like some of his own fans. ushijima pictures himself as a rabbit, stuck in a cage all day long with nothing to do but sleep and chew on carrots. he looks through the bars of his cage, and he sees his fans holding up signs with his name and face on it, sticking their fingers through the bars to try to pet him.

he contemplates setting all the rabbits free, but then decides that would be inappropriate.

you had booked an hour at the shelter; all the animals are for you to meet and play with. the worker will be in the room next door in case you need her; she gives you each a bag of treats and explains which ones are for which animals. you listen extremely attentively; ushijima tries to pay the same amount of attention as you, but his mind keeps drifting to long ears and carrot sticks.

eventually the worker leaves you two alone. you sit in the center of the room, and immediately a sphynx cat goes over to you, sniffs your fingers, and plops himself into your lap. you laugh, the sound like tinkling bells, and gently stroke the top of the cat’s head.

ushijima is still awkwardly standing. he looks around at all the animals, and his gaze lands on a german shepherd. this is his type of dog--big, strong, and silent. while the other animals are playing, tripping over each other and scrabbling to get the treats you throw to them, the german shepherd is calmly sitting off to the side, ears perked up as if on the lookout for danger. he tentatively reaches out a hand to the dog; within a couple of minutes he is absent-mindedly stroking the large canine as it lays by his side.

for most of the hour, the two of you stay in comfortable silence. your relationship is often filled with long periods where no one talks; ushijima obviously isn’t a big talker, and while you’re a bit more outgoing, there’s no need to fill every second of every day with words. sometimes you do something together that keeps you both busy--this is one of those times--but other times you just sit next to each other, each doing your own thing quietly. and both is fine. ushijima likes it that way. you do too, some peace and quiet in an otherwise chaotic life.

“are you going to meet any animals aside from that dog?” you tease him. ushijima frowns, studying his options.

“i like him,” he says finally. you chuckle to yourself, trying to imagine your boyfriend cuddling a persian cat.

“i’ve been wanting to do a fundraising project with this shelter for a while,” you admit. “with some good marketing, we could host events to raise money. more money means better conditions for all the animals. maybe some would even be able to get adopted. it’s super exciting.” your eyes shine hopefully.

ushijima looks at the german shepherd sitting next to him. “that would be good,” he decides. “permanent homes.”

“yeah,” you agree. “somewhere for them to stay forever. somewhere they belong. now come, look how cute this bunny is!”

you deposit a rabbit on his head. he blinks hard, and his eyebrows crease as he feels its claws digging into his hair. it’s mildly uncomfortable, but he doesn’t care much. the sunlight is shining on your face. you look so happy, so hopeful. you’re an angel. and where angels go, sad places become hopeful.

ushijima realizes that animal shelters are sad places, where homeless animals stay. but they are also hopeful places, where homeless animals heal and get a second chance at life. besides, the rabbits all look pretty happy, and his german shepherd certainly isn’t having a bad time here.

as your laughter rings through the room, ushijima realizes that maybe animal shelters aren’t so bad.

A/N: hi! you were actually one of the first blogs i followed and i'm so excited to be moots! i hope you liked your blind pick 🫶

[jennamoran]

The Far Roofs: Systems

Hi!

Today I’m going to talk a little bit more about my forthcoming RPG, the Far Roofs. More specifically, I want to give a general overview of its game mechanics!

So the idea that first started the Far Roofs on the road to being its own game came out of me thinking a lot about what large projects feel like.

I was in one of those moods where I felt like the important thing in an RPG system was the parallel between that system and real-world experience. Where I felt like the key to art was always thinking about the end goal, or at least a local goal, as one did the work; and, the key to design was symmetry between the goals and methods, the means and ends.

I don't always feel that way, but it's how I work when I'm feeling both ambitious and technical.

So what I wanted to do was come up with an RPG mechanic that was really like the thing it was simulating:

Finding answers. Solving problems. Doing big things.

And it struck me that what that felt like, really, was a bit like ...

You get pieces over time. You wiggle them around. You try to fit them together. Sometimes, they fit together into larger pieces and then eventually a whole. Sometimes you just collect them and wiggle them around until suddenly there's an insight, an oh!, and you now know everything works.

The ideal thing to do here would probably be having a bag of widgets that can fit together in different ways---not as universally as Legos or whatever, but, like, gears and connectors and springs and motors and whatever. If I were going to be building a computer game I would probably think along those lines, anyway. You'd go to your screen of bits and bobs and move them around with your mouse until it hooked together into something that you liked.

... that's not really feasible for a tabletop RPG, though, at least, not with my typical financial resources. I could probably swing making that kind of thing, finding a 3d printing or woodworking partner or something to make the pieces, for the final kickstarter, but I don't have the resources to make a bunch of different physical object sets over time while I'm playtesting.

So the way I decided that I could implement this was by drawing letter tiles.

That I could do a system where you'd draw letter tiles ... not constantly, not specifically when you were working, but over time; in the moments, most of all, that could give you insight or progress.

Then, at some point, you'd have enough of them.

You'd see a word.

That word'd be your answer.

... not necessarily the word itself, but, like, what the word means to you and what the answer means to you, those would be the same.

The word would be a symbol for the answer that you've found, as a player and a character.

(The leftover letters would then stick around in your hand, bits of thought and experience that didn't directly lead to a solution there, but might help with something else later on.)

Anyway, I figured that this basic idea was feasible because, like, lots of people own Scrabble sets. Even if you don't, they're easier to find than sets of dice!

For a short indie game focused on just that this would probably have been enough of a mechanic all on its own. For a large release, though, the game needed more.

After thinking about it I decided that what it wanted was two more core resolution systems:

One, for stuff like, say ... kickstarter results ... where you're more interested in "how well did this do?" or "how good of an answer is this?" than in whether those results better fit AXLOTL or TEXTUAL. For this, I added cards, which you draw like letter tiles and combine into poker hands. A face card is probably enough for a baseline success, a pair of Kings would make the results rather exciting, and a royal flush result would smash records.

The other core system was for like ... everyday stuff. For starting a campfire or jumping a gap. That, by established RPG tradition, would use dice.

...

I guess technically it didn't have to; I mean, like, most of my games have been diceless, and in fact we've gotten to a point in the hobby where that's just "sort of unusual" instead of actually rare.

But, like, I like dice. I do. If I don't use them often, it's because I don't like the empty page of where to start in the first place building a bespoke diced system when I have so many good diceless systems right there.

... this time, though, I decided to just go for it.

--

The Dice System

So a long, long time ago I was working on a game called the Weapons of the Gods RPG. Eos Press had brought me in to do the setting, and somewhere in the middle of that endeavor, the game lost its system.

I only ever heard Eos' side of this, and these days I tend to take Eos' claims with a grain of salt ... but, my best guess is that all this stuff did happen, just, with a little more context that I don't and might not ever know?

Anyway, as best as I remember, the first writer they had doing their system quit midway through development. So they brought in a newer team to do the system, and halfway through that the team decided they'd have more fun using the system for their own game, and instead wrote up a quick alternate system for Weapons of the Gods to use.

This would have been fine if the alternate system were any good, but it was ... pretty obviously a quick kludge. It was ...

I think the best word for it would be "bad."

I don't even like the system they took away to be their own game, but at least I could believe that it was constructed with love. It was janky but like in a heartfelt way.

The replacement system was more the kind of thing where if you stepped in it you'd need a new pair of shoes.

It upset me.

It upset me, and so, full wroth, I decided to write a system to use for the game.

Now, I'd never done a diced system before at that point. My only solo game had been Nobilis. So I took a bunch of dice and started rolling them, to see ... like ... what the most fun way of reading them was.

Where I landed, ultimately, was looking for matches.

The core system for Weapons of the Gods was basically, roll some number of d10s, and if you got 3 4s, that was a 34. If you got 2 9s, that was a 29. If your best die was a 7 and you had no pairs at all, you got 1 7. 17.

It didn't have any really amazing statistical properties, but the act of rolling was fun. It was rhythmic, you know, you'd see 3 4s and putting them together into 34 was a tiny tiny dopamine shot at the cost of basically zero brain effort. It was pattern recognition, which the brain tends to enjoy.

I mean, obviously, it would pall in a few minutes if you just sat there rolling the dice for no reason ... but, as far as dice rolling goes, it was fun.

So when I went to do an optional diced system for the Chuubo's Marvelous Wish-Granting Engine RPG, years later, to post here on tumblr ... I already knew what would make that roll fun. That is, rolling a handful of dice and looking for matches.

What about making it even more fun?

... well, critical results are fun, so what about adding them and aiming to have a lot of them, though still like rare enough to surprise?

It made sense to me to call no matches at all a critical failure, and a triple a critical success. So I started fiddling with dice pool size to get the numbers where I wanted them.

I'm reconstructing a bit at this point, but I imagine that I hit 6d10 and was like: "these are roughly the right odds, but this is one too many dice to look at quickly on the table, and I don't like that critical failure would be a bit more common than crit success."

So after some wrestling with things I wound up with a dice pool of 5d6, which is the dice pool I'm still using today.

If you roll 5d6, you'll probably get a pair. But now and then, you'll get a triple (or more!) My combinatorics is rusty, so I might have missed a case, but, like ... 17% of the time, triples, quadruples, or quintuples? And around 9% chance, for no matches at all?

I think I was probably looking for 15% and 10%, that those were likely my optimum, but ... well, 5d6 comes pretty close. Roughly 25% total was about as far as I thought I could push critical results while still having them feel kind or rare. Like ...

If I'm rolling a d20 in a D&D-like system, and if I'm going to succeed on an 18+, that's around when success is exciting, right? Maybe 17+, though that's pushing it? So we want to fall in the 15-20% range for a "special good roll." And people have been playing for a very long time now with the 5% chance of a "1" as a "special bad roll," and that seemed fine, so, like, 20-25% chance total is good.

And like ...

People talk a lot about Rolemaster crit fail tables in my vicinity, and complain about the whiff fests you see in some games where you keep rolling and rolling and nothing good or bad actually happens, and so I was naturally drawn to pushing crit failure odds a bit higher than you see in a d20-type game.

Now, one way people in indie circles tend to address "whiff fests" is by rethinking the whole dice-rolling ... paradigm ... so you never whiff; setting things up, in short, so that every roll means something, and every success and failure mean something too.

It's a leaner, richer way of doing things than you see in, say, D&D.

... I just didn't feel like it, here, because the whole point of things was to make dice rolling fun. I wanted people coming out of traditional games to be able to just pick up the dice and say "I'm rolling for this!" because the roll would be fun. Because consulting the dice oracle here, would be fun.

So in the end, that was the heart of it:

A 5d6 roll, focusing on the ease of counting matches and the high but not exorbitant frequency of special results.

But at the same time ...

I'm indie enough that I do really like rolls where, you know, every outcome is meaningful. Where you roll, and there's never a "whiff," just a set of possible meaningful outcomes.

A lot of the time, where I'm leaning into "rolls are fun, go ahead and roll," what it means to succeed, to fail, to crit, all that's up to the group, and sometimes it'll be unsatisfying. Other times, you'll crit succeed or crit fail and the GM will give you basically the exact same result as you'd have gotten on a regular success or failure, just, you know, jazzing up the description a bit with more narrative weight.

But I did manage to pull out about a third of the rolls you'll wind up actually making and assign strong mechanical and narrative weight to each outcome. Where what you were doing was well enough defined in the system that I could add some real meat to those crits, and even regular success and regular failure.

... though that's a story, I think, to be told some other time. ^_^

[lukolabrainrot]

So let's do a little bit of a recap. We get the Italy trip with Luke and friends where we got that weird pap picture. We also got Luke alone a lot of that trip. Alone on the boat also when watching the fireworks. A was on the opposite side. Then they get back and Nicola start dropping songs that are Luke coded and scrabble games making a statement. Then we get a picture of her and Luke, where she says there you go speaking to the fans because she knows that the fans are going to enjoy and tear apart the picture. Followed by Luke sending out a message to his fans, letting them know about the other imposter pages looking like he lost his best friends (even though the photo old it still a picture he picked). Then we get a picture of Nicola at the festival where everyone is assuming eamon is in the background. Then people started shipping her and Eamon. a week later we get one pictures of Jake and Nicola at that same festival.. the next day we get even more pictures of Jake and Nicola. Now we get Rory unfollowing sienna. Fan pages reporting on it and then he follows her back.. I might've missed a few things cause it's a lot. I don't know about you guys but life for me doesn't always line up like this. It's normally messy. Kind of seems a little too planned out for me. Maybe it's just me but this is kind of weird. It's all weird. They're moving weird. Now you have DM stating we don't know if Nicola and Jake are dating when she's been alluding to that for months all of a sudden now she's backpedaling. I don't know guys. I'm not the smartest person, but this is all looking real funny when you put it all together. One more thing I would like to add before I end this summary Nicola knew Jake. We know cuz she went to the opening of his show. She said an interviews that Luke is someone that she doesn't have any other type of relationship with anybody else in her life the way she has with Luke and that there's genuine love there between them.

Anon, I would loveeee to hear more of your thoughts on what's going on, because my head hurts 🙃

[cassolotl]

Results of the nonbinary name survey

Hi folks, just thought I'd throw together a quick report about nonbinary names based on the recent survey.

The survey ran from 4th until 13th May, and there were 5,179 usable responses. For this one I won't share the full spreadsheet of all responses, as it contains potentially identifying information. Having said that, you can find a spreadsheet of the information I can share with you here. Every name entered only once has been redacted.

Most popular names

Let's kick it off with the main reason I did this survey, finding the nonbinaryest name:

Alex was #1, with 1.6%, which is 1 in 62 nonbinary people.

Here's the full top 10:

Alex - 1.6% (83)

Jay - 1.2% (64)

Sam - 0.9% (49)

Charlie - 0.7% (36)

Max - 0.7% (36)

Ash - 0.6% (33)

Robin - 0.6% (33)

Rowan - 0.6% (31)

Kit - 0.6% (30)

Eli - 0.6% (29)

Name length

I'm familiar with the stereotype that nonbinary people choose names by taking 3 letters from a bag of Scrabble tiles, or that nonbinary people take letters off their given names until it's one ungenderable syllable, and I would like to take this opportunity to add that these are both excellent ways to create new names. :D

This graph takes a rolling median name length from the whole list, and it shows that generally speaking the most popular names tended to be shorter:

The average name length was 5.1 characters long.

This seems to support the stereotypes, but I feel it's worth mentioning that we can't know for sure whether it actually does, because for all we know, binary people's names might show these kinds of patterns too.

Number of names per person

Participants could enter as many names as they wanted, in a list separated by commas. That made it pretty easy to count them, and it turned out like this:

That's fairly straightforward, most people have only one name.

Problems with survey design

Overall I definitely feel that the survey had some flaws. I knew in advance that there would be some people who have more than one name that they like more or less equally, but for some reason the first question I came up with assumed that you have one name that you like most and then required a single answer from a list stating how that name happened to you - leading the respondent to a different section based on that answer.

What if you've got two or more names that you like equally, and one was given to you by your parents when you were born that you use for work, one is a nickname based on that name that evolved between you and your family and friends as you were growing up, and one is a name you chose yourself and your closest friends call you that? That's pretty much an impossible question, isn't it?

And there were several other questions in the survey that took that approach, making the data from those questions basically useless.

I didn't think it would cause problems for so many people, but it did, and I have learned my lesson there.

However, there was a question asking you to list all your names, and that's what I used to make the ranked list. I don't see how people with more than one name that they prefer completely equally (i.e. those people who would be thrown out of the survey by an impossible required first question) would prefer different names from people with one name only, so I think the ranked list is probably approximately okay, and same for the number of names per person graph and the average name length.

Implications

I haven't decided yet, but I definitely think there's scope for doing this survey annually - but separately from the identity/titles/pronouns survey, for anonymity reasons. It could be fun to track popular nonbinary names over time, similar to the popular name lists for babies that are usually split by boys'/girls' names. It might be a bit meaningless unless I collect country data as well though, which is why the list currently reads very....... American..........

Now that I've learned a lot from a big and not-so-well-designed survey run on my personal account, I'd feel more comfortable designing something a bit more fit for purpose, and running it from the @gendercensus accounts to hopefully get more participants.

~ Fin ~

[mothiir]

duty performed

I wrote this in half an hour and will be taking no notes. @the-raven-lady owns most of Elias, Isaiah owns the rest. For more stories of these two - not together - see our blogs. If you haven’t seen them before Isaiah is a primaris Black Templar and Elias is an ancient former night lord who is chilling with the Templars for reasons

cw for blood, grossness, and Elias enjoying his food too much

—

—

“Brother,” Isaiah says, patiently. “Please may you remove your teeth from my pectoral? I cannot thrust to your liking while you are attached there.”

Elias’ only response is to chew, his jagged teeth scything through Isaiah’s flesh — the only sign of the considerable effort it takes to do so is the tendons twitching in the older Marine’s jaw. It hurts, but not terribly so. Besides, any wound suffered in service to your battle brothers is a badge to be worn with pride.

Isaiah sighs, and readjusts himself minutely. The fact that the bunk is still intact is testament to the architectural skills of the grandsons of Dorn, given what the two Astartes have been up to for the best part of an hour. 

Of course, the cessation of movement prompts an irritable, burbling snarl from Elias.

“I cannot do both.” Elias has buried his face into Isaiah’s chest, dropping his legs off Isaiah’s shoulders to do so, and thus Isaiah cannot penetrate him as deeply as he demands. ”Bite elsewhere.”

Elias grumbles something into Isaiah’s flesh, gnawing deeper. Isaiah’s brow furrows — not with pain, but concern.

”Brother, are you receiving proper rations? I understand that biting is often sexual in nature, but your continued attempts to consume parts of me has me worrying that your calorific needs are not being met.”

He goes to pinch at Elias’s hip, gratified to find a slight pudge of fat there, nestled over broad, sharp bones. Elias snarls protest, clawing down Isaiah’s back, opening up gouges that start to heal almost before they have a chance to bleed. With a frustrated, strangled growl, Elias claws again — deeper this time, sticking his fingers under Isaiah’s skin, as though Isaiah is a beast to be stripped of its hide. 

It feels unusual. Not terribly pleasant, but Isaiah simply turns his thoughts from the sensation, focusing on the way Elias’s breathing shifts a little as Isaiah hooks his hands under Elias’s knees, lifting them higher.

”There — is that angle to your liking?”

The only response he receives is the obscene sound of Elias chewing at his pectoral — the wet, sloppy sounds of the former Night Lord beginning to drink. 

Isaiah readjusts himself. He knows what he is aiming for — it is here somewhere —

There.

Elias burbles a strange mess of sound, part wail, part squeal — all abruptly cut off as he bites Isaiah afresh, as though by removing a chunk of Isaiah’s body he can exorcise the memory of that noise. Isaiah does not chuckle, for this is a serious matter, but he cannot help a smile.

”Yes — I knew you would like that.”

“Hmmmmggggfff,” Elias manages, his eyes black and empty as the void between stars, his pale flesh streaked with Isaiahs’ blood. His hands scrabble at Isaiah’s back, fingers trying to prise inside the wounds that he had opened up not three heartbeats ago. He utters a querulous sound of dismay when he finds smooth skin. 

“I heal swiftly brother. Apologies,” says Isaiah, his balls slapping against Elias’ buttocks as he picks up the pace. He fucks with the same single-minded intensity that he fights or worships with: there is a goal, and he will achieve it. Nothing will distract him. Each thrust spears into that tender bundle of nerves that has Elias snarling and biting at him, because Isaiah is a Templar, and they always strike their target true.

It’s delightful — Isaiah loves nothing more than being useful to his brothers, in whatever way they need. This is what Elias needs. 

(Isaiah has his own wants, of course, but those must be sublimated to the good of the Legion.)

(If he could he would have his hands around Elias’s throat until those clever dark eyes grew glazed and giddy and his mouth grew slack — or he would chew and bite and Elias heals swiftly but Isaiah is swifter and crueller— put Elias on his hands and knees and —) 

(No. His wants do not matter. One day, he will be Captain, and Marshal thereafter. It is written, and so it shall be, and the role of a leader is to sacrifice all and gain nothing but martyrdom and — )

Elias rips up, and away, tearing loose a mouthful of Isaiah’s flesh, which he promptly chews and swallows, blood between his teeth and streaming down his chin. He forces his mouth up against Isaiah’s — less a kiss, more a heated, drooling mess, as the pair lick at each other’s mouths, teeth clacking together — and when Elias cums it is with a snarl that sounds exactly like Isaiah’s chainsword cutting through bone. Isaiah, his mouth scarlet, his hair a tousled bloody mess, pauses, cock sheathed deep within Elias as cum spatters across their abdomens. 

“Shall I keep going?” he says, and Elias huffs laughter.

”Damn Primaris,” he says, then smacks Isaiah’s thigh, like he would a prize bull. “Get to it.”

He leans back into the bunk, pillowing his head on interlinked fingers. Isaiah hefts his battle brother’s legs up onto his shoulders once more, folding him almost in half as he once more begins to see to his duty. 

[sketches4mysw33theart]

To Indeed Be A God

The title has almost no bearing whatsoever on the writing, I'm just obsessed with the Dead Poets Society right now.

Pairing: Henry Winter (The Secret History)

Summary: A drowsy morning at the country house with Henry Winter involves a row around the lake, a breakfast picnic, and falling asleep in the boat.

Warnings: Google translated phrases, please let me know if these are wrong!

Check out my previous Henry Winter piece!

I awoke to a throbbing in my head, a contrasting harmony to the soft twittering of birds floating in through the open window. I couldn’t resist the groan that forced its way from my mouth. It felt as though my head was being split open repeatedly, like a misguided executioner was standing at the head of my bed and swinging an unsharpened axe.  

It was several moments before I moved at all after I had rolled over, my body feeling scarily heavy yet weightless at the same time. I had little desire to so much as breathe manually, let alone open my eyes and face the merciless joy of the sunlight.  

As I lay there, eyes closed firmly, hands grasping the thin silk duvet, flashes of the previous night came to me as though through a camera’s lens.  

The dinner, a large affair to mourn the passing of the twin’s beloved dog. The wine sloshing in the Abernathy’s prized crystal wine glasses. Those same glasses raised in multiple toasts and clinking together like blood-soaked moths in the candlelight. Charles at the piano playing melodies of sweet summers past. The bottle of Bourbon passed between us without a care for tumblers. Francis plucking Camilla from the armchair she had curled herself up in to stumble around the library in a clunky dance. Bunny’s face, lined with confusion and acidity, watching us all through rolling eyes. Richard’s reflection, gaping at the chandelier-lit room through dazed eyes, as I stared out of the window, looking for stars but finding only my own distorted face.  

And Henry, tall and proud and stoic and quiet. Him I could picture clearly, as sharp and focused as a still life portrait. He’d drank as much as us, more, yet he’d never fizzed over like we did. Only watched from the sofa as we exploded like fireworks, flashing reds and yellows reflected twofold in the whites of his eyes through his glasses.  

Then, me falling into place beside him, head spinning in dizzying circles even as I laid it back on the plush sofa cushions with my eyes shut, light popping behind my eyelids.  

Then, him whispering to me, the soft, cold anchoring of his deep voice, but either I couldn’t tell what he was saying, or I was not in tune enough to listen.  

Then, I was there, waking up in bed. 

I opened my eyes when the pounding in my head began to lessen, allowing the bird song to wash over me rather than suffocate me. The thick curtains were open, weak sunlight creeping across the oak floor and furnishings, lighting them up like whisky. It was cool, that early morning chill before the last of the lingering summer heat could settle in again.  

I watched the floor for several minutes, praying for my headache to cease. Of course, praying never did anyone much good. Henry would be disappointed.  

I didn’t have a clock in the room I stayed in during nights at the country house. Francis’s great aunt, whose room that used to be, couldn’t stand them. She felt they made her rush.  

Still, I could guess it was early. There was no noise. Francis wasn’t singing in the kitchen as he made breakfast, Charles and Camilla weren’t bickering meaninglessly in the depths of the house, Bunny wasn’t honking his laugh at some ridiculous jibe. There was nothing except pure tranquillity.  

I knew of one other person, for certain, who would be up so early. That was motivation enough to get out of bed. Still, it was a struggle. My body fought it as I sat up, pushed myself to my feet, scrabbled through my bag for clothes, and checked myself over in the mirror to make sure I looked presentable. 

Finally, I exited the room, closing the door with a soft click behind me. The hallway was quiet, eerily so, and I paced down it, focusing on the soft, luxurious carpet against my bare feet over the pounding of my head. 

On the stairs at the end of the hallway, Francis was curled up, still fully dressed, like a small child unable to stay conscious on a drive back from the beach, snoring obnoxiously and fiercely cuddling a near-empty bottle of whiskey. His overcoat tails were tangled between his bent legs, pale, slender ankles poking out conspicuously from his half pulled-off socks. In the country house, this was not an uncommon occurrence. 

I clambered over him, trying not to catch his limbs or face with my foot. As though sensing my presence as he slumbered, Francis uncurled his body, spreading himself out across several steps and out of the way of my bare feet. Smiling, I leant down to pat him gently on the cheek, careful not to disturb him. He looked incredibly peaceful, for once.  

I left Francis on the stairs, snoring in the shadows of the half-shuttered windows, and headed towards the library. There was a fair chance Henry would be there and, if not, I would likely spot him on my way over. 

As expected, it did not take me long. Henry valued the morning hours, the weak light illuminating the thick pages of his books, the quietness of a dawn tainted only by the songs of the birds.  

He was sat outside, of course, fully dressed, a suited silhouette through the ornate glass doors, a splatter of ink against the canvas of autumn. Although I pushed open the doors as softly as I could, his head shot up as soon as it began to squeak. 

“Good morning,” he said, with a smile. “Drink up.” A slight gesture of his hand brought to my attention a full glass of water and a sleeve of ibuprofen sparkling in the cool, creeping light. 

“Good morning,” I mumbled, fumbling with the package in my desperation to push out two of the pills. When I managed to do so, I swallowed them quickly with a large gulp of water, which I drained gladly straight after.  

Once I’d swiped at my lips, I took the few steps to his seat. Standing behind him, I rested my hands on his broad shoulders and bent down to press a kiss to his cheek. I caught the smile on his face, which did little to lessen the furrow of his brow. 

“How’s the translation going?” 

This question elicited a heavy sigh from him. “It’s all wrong, unfortunately. The verbs won’t translate well, and these sentence structures are ridiculously tricky.” 

“Boreís na to káneis éfkola agápi mou,” I breathed into his ear, bringing my fingertips to his sharp shoulder blades. You can do it easily, my love. 

He laughed. “Óchi ótan eísai étsi, den boró.” Not when you’re like this, I can’t. 

I hummed humorously, spreading my massaging fingertips along his taut shoulders. Spread out before us was the house’s garden, as pure and fierce as Eden, coming swiftly to life in front of my eyes. The sun was just emerging, lingering in the far east like God, watching His creations come to life as on the seventh day. Henry was watching it too, finally relieving himself of his books in favour of the glitter of the autumnal flowers, Gomphrena and Didiscus and Goldenrod. 

It wasn’t often I was up early enough to catch Henry on mornings like this. Despite our circumstances, we never shared a bed during our stays at the country house, primarily because Henry didn’t want to disturb me during our short vacations, or so he said. But also, because, I believe, he was rather shy about our activities around the rest of the Greek class. They knew, of course – we were never as subtle as we thought - but, still, there was something prudish lying within Henry. Or perhaps it was possessive. Not that it matters now, I suppose. 

“Let’s go to the lake,” he said, suddenly, startling me from my observance of a large bee bumbling its way drunkenly through a flowerbed.  

“Now?” I questioned, surprised. Henry enjoyed the mornings because of the quiet solitude they offered him, the time to be alone with his books and his papers. Things he valued even more, I think, than me. 

“Would you like to?”  

I was still sleepy, even more so after taking the ibuprofen Henry had laid out. Still, I could picture how lovely it would be: the drowsy, sun-laced walk through the dandelions and uncut grasses, the heady smell of nature flourishing around us, the somniferous sound of waves lapping at the gently rocking boat, the mesmerizing feeling of floating on air. 

“Yes,” I said, “I would, actually.” Henry was always confidently persuasive. Eerily so. Not that I would have needed much persuading, really. I just liked to think there was something magic about him.  

He sighed, stretching out his aching limbs as he got to his feet. Pre-emptively, he removed his jacket and folded it meticulously, leaving it on the seat of his chair. “Good. Perhaps we should take breakfast with us?” 

It was a wonderful idea, and we slipped back inside to prepare a breakfast picnic: a full bottle of orange juice, a half-full stoppered bottle of champagne left over from the previous night, a package of strawberries, a selection of pastries bought from Camilla’s favourite bakery on our way to the country house the previous morning, and a packet of large blueberry muffins.  

With our breakfast packed in an old wicker basket, we set off into the morning sun, meandering through the budding flowers and tall grasses, clasped arm in arm. It wasn’t a particularly long walk to the lake, but we lingered meaninglessly on the way, I to admire the nature and wildlife, and Henry to momentarily relieve his arm of the picnic basket and watch me with a smile when he thought I couldn’t see him. 

Eventually, we made it, and eagerly hopped into the lonesome boat oared at the makeshift jetty, picnic basket still in hand. Considering it was so early, Henry was alive with vigour, and rowed eagerly, pushing us quickly to the centre of the lake. He had been somewhat withdrawn over the last few weeks, particularly during our days at the country house, so seeing him come to life among the falling birch leaves was a gift.  

We covered one lap of the lake at a fairly quick pace, talking about our latest classes, Julian’s theory of Dionysiac architects (which was, essentially, that the secret language they spoke was more akin to modern day English than any other language throughout history), and the startling resemblance that morning of the pond and surrounding countryside to Jan Brueghel the Elder’s ‘Odysseus and Calypso’ - one of my favourite paintings.  

Henry slowed as we began our second lap of the lake, and I watched his concentrated expression in the water’s reflection.  

“Aren’t you tired?” I was feeling a little peppier now, despite the rhythmic sound of the waves lapping gently at the boat, and I knew Henry had been up significantly longer than I had. “Can I take over?”  

“No, you don’t have to do anything.” I was still watching him in the warped shine of the water, and he caught my eye through the fairy-dust covering of birch leaves. “Just sit right there and look like you do.” A smile flittered across his face briefly, and I shook my head, laughing.  

“If you say so,” I said, still laughing. Henry rowed on and began to fill the silence with his stream of thoughts on Heraclitus’ ideas of opposites, and how the philosopher decreed Hades and Dionysus as the same God, a belief Henry was strongly against. Occasionally he’d break his speech to mumble a suggestion for his translation, which he no doubt tucked away into another corner of his mind for later. 

At some point, I lay back across the seat of the boat, head coming to rest on the lip, one hand stretching over to trail in the lukewarm water. Francis had said once that one of the neighbours had seen leeches in the lake, and Bunny always swore blind that there were water snakes in there. Yet, still, we all went out on it as often as we could, swimming and fighting and trailing our hands through the ripples.  

Listening to Henry speak tantrically and feeling the warm water kiss my fingertips was as delicious and satisfying as being carried in Charon’s boat across the rivers separating the worlds of the living and the dead. I wanted it to last forever. The best kind of purgatory. Psuche. 

But eventually, we did come to a stop, once Henry, with some difficulty, had managed to turn the boat and situate it towards the centre of the lake. I sat up and stretched, groaning at the creak of my bones.  

As I heaved the picnic basket up on to the seat, Henry balanced the oars properly, wiped at his brow, and rolled up his sleeves, eying the cutlery and plates I was laying out. He must have been starving.  

I looked to him to ask if he had any preference for pastries as I began doling out them onto our plates, but the question died on my lips when I saw a constellation of bruises flowering in a strange pattern along his freshly revealed arm. They were fresh, a shocking purple tinted with red. 

“Henry,” I exclaimed, croissant held in one frozen hand. “What in God’s name have you been doing?” 

He furrowed his brows at me, following my eye line quickly. I saw him flounder for a moment, but in a flash, he was as composed as the Queen’s Guard.  

“Don’t fuss, it’s nothing. I fell in the garden yesterday morning, those damn dogs left more garbage on my front path. Is that for me?” 

I believed him, of course. It was a perfectly sensible answer, and certainly not the first time something like that had happened. If only I’d known... 

I gave him the croissant, and finished plating up the food as he poured two Mimosas into the old teacups we’d packed, using far more champagne than orange juice. We ate in a comfortable silence, broken sporadically by random thoughts and anecdotes; we were both slipping into fatigue once more now the sun was fully risen, not too warm against our skin, and the inebriating smells of flowers and the birch trees were reaching out to us, woody and smoky like winter night’s gone by.  

Four Mimosa’s later (between us), we had finished our breakfast, and were lying, nearly unconscious, in the boat, which was very slowly bobbing its own way around the lake once more. Henry was stretched out completely, arms acting as a pillow, and I was tucked in on my side next to him, resting my head on the broad stretch between his shoulder and chest. 

God knows how long we stayed there in the boat, moving listlessly without direction or need, bumping lightly against the bank until one of us made the effort to lift a foot and push us away, listening to the birds' tweet and fly above us, feeling the gentle caress of the birch leaves across her skin, hearing the soft intermingling of our breaths just over the gently lapping water as it granted us passage, seeing the shades of light and dark through the shield of our eyelids. Zoe. The divine life of God. 

When we were roused, the air, the very nature around us felt different, alive, charged. The sun was crawling towards the centre of the sky, but several dark clouds were on its heels. Hours must have passed.  

I came back to life first, awaking as though from death’s sleep, drowsy and confused. What came to me, however, was the distant call of my name, the familiar cadence of the voice. Francis. It was Francis.  

As his shouting got closer and slightly more frantic, I pushed myself up with one hand braced against the smooth wood of the boat’s sole, using the other to first wipe the sleep from my eyes and then shield them from the sun.  

Francis was on the far bank, heading towards the small jetty, and waving his arms as though welcoming in a plane. He was, I noticed with some amusement, still wearing the same clothes he was in when I’d stepped over him that morning. I waved my free hand at him, and he shouted my name again. “Are you insane? We’ve been looking everywhere for you. Is Henry with you? It’s gone 12, you know.” 

I couldn’t muster up the energy to respond to him, but I did lay a hand on Henry’s shoulder to shake him awake. With a bit of resistance, he came to, and sat up in the same sluggish manner as me, stretching out his arms, back, and neck. 

Francis called to him now. “Henry? Henry! Bring the damn boat in, will you? Julian’s coming to dinner tonight, and I need everything to be ready.” 

Henry waved his fingers at him, a dismissive acknowledgement, a king sending away a disobedient courtier. Finally, he opened his eyes, landing his gaze directly on me. He smiled, pressed a kiss to the corner of my mouth so quickly I did not have time to respond. “Piso ston politismó,” he said lowly, a melancholy look setting in his features. Back to civilization.  

He situated himself carefully on the seat while I stayed where I was watching him like I was at the feet of one the post-Socratics. He picked up the oars once more and started rowing us back to bios. Back to life.