#i haven’t improved as much as I’d like because I don’t draw as much as I should

[ato-dato]

I found my one and only gomens fanart from 2019 so it had to be redone. Naturally.

[idolomantises]

I think I’m gonna discuss this once and hopefully never have to bring it up again. Originally I wanted to talk about it on Twitter but people are very disrespectful when it comes to mental health so… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Basically, I haven’t been doing so great, mentally. Nothing bad has happened to me, I’m safe and surrounded by people I care about, and it’s been like that for months. I just, I haven’t been feeling good.

For people who do follow me on accounts like Twitter and Instagram, you may have noticed I haven’t posted anything new since January. I was struggling to feel motivated to make something for my main accounts despite having countless ideas I’d love to work on. I feel better now and do plan on getting something done in March, but that sudden lack of motivation is pretty rare for me. Art is not only my job but a big hobby for me, I just love drawing. I did get some nsfw art done at least.

I don’t know what really prompted my mental health decline, I’ve been getting a few worried messages and fanart because someone insulted my art. But that didn’t hurt me at all, it actually boosted my account and patreon.

I guess I just… got sad?

I have a really bad tendency to suppress and even ignore my trauma and feelings of guilt. And I guess one day I really sat with my thoughts and I just, lost it I guess. I have so much traumatic memories and sudden and intense feelings of self loathing, something I’ve never felt in almost a decade, that it got overwhelming. I couldn’t reassure myself, I couldn’t really talk to anyone about it because how do you confront things that happened years ago? You feel almost irrational. It’s just memories that haunt you, it’s nothing physical or tangible and yet it’s a crushing feeling of anxiety, self hatred and resentment.

I was crying almost every day, and crying so much that my eyes kept hurting long after I was done, and I could barely see my own screen. I’ve had paranoid thoughts about myself and others, thoughts I can’t get into because they’re so deeply irrational. I was feeling suicidal urges and thoughts of self harm. I don’t see myself doing it, but it’s so frequent and overwhelming it’s like I’m already planning my suicide note.

I was talking to my therapist about it, that I was starting to hate being alive. That I hated living. That I could spend the next 50 years of my life with no more conflict or trauma and I’d still be in intense misery and turmoil. They’re feelings I couldn’t really bring myself to tell friends about because what could they say? How do you calm yourself down and reassure yourself. I can’t even talk about my trauma verbally without crying. And it’s funny because sometimes minor irks started to affect me negatively. I was feeling anxious about what to draw because I didn’t want to do deal with homophobic backlash.

I went to a therapist, I talked to friends, Ive been working out more and eating better, I did everything I should do to improve my mental health and all of a sudden a single night just sitting in my room destroyed everything I was slowly building up over the past 5 years.

It’s been really difficult for me. I think also, I just felt so much guilt over not being the best person I could be. I decided to lessen my online usage, not just for my mental health but because I really wanted to work on being a better person. I want to stop hating myself and letting my trauma push me down and I want to do just be better and do better as a person. A lot of people have been very forgiving and kind to me but I don’t feel like it’s enough and I want to do more and I want to feel better about myself. I want to give everything I can to people around me. I’ve been going to therapy a lot more lately and things are getting better for me, but it’s been a very slow process.

I just want to repeat that nothing serious has happened to me. Nobody attacked me in a way that negatively affected my health. A lot of people, friends and strangers have been really nice to me these past few months. I just was doing a lot of self reflecting and unintentionally forced myself to confront a lot of my trauma. I’m saying trauma a lot. I don’t want to get into depth about what I endured because it’s my business but people who do know me know how bad things were for me. I don’t want to feel like that again. I want to feel better, and I want to do better.

Sorry for the long read. That’s just how I feel.

[yan-may-fire]

ive struggled with art block for years and feel very discouraged because im already 19 and feel really behind so many people. im really stuck and dont really know what to do to get out of it and try and improve. as an amazing artist, do you have any tips on how to kind of start from scratch? like how do you learn ... stuff

I’m really sorry that you feel stuck, it’s not a pleasant feeling and I’ve experienced it myself many MANY times. First, let me preface, that your age is not that important. I’m turning 26 in a couple of months and I know there’s still SO MUCH I can improve on, I know artists who are younger than me and can do breathtaking art. I also know artists who didn’t even start drawing at my age, who started drawing a little later in life because they felt like doing art. So, who are you competing against? Why are you competing? Is self expression not goal enough? I’m not a professional artist, I don’t want to adhere to some industry standard, and most of all I don’t want to feel behind in an area that is so, SO personal to me.

Now, to the feeling stuck part. I’d love to say that in art, you’re always improving. Well, it’s not exactly the case. There are artists whose work doesn’t change for years and they feel content in what they do. Are they stuck? Not really — they feel fine. When you feel stuck in your art, it means that your brain has caught up to your physical ability and went beyond, it starts seeing flaws you haven’t noticed before. You’re very young still and have PLENTY of time to work up the pure handcraft of visual art. What I recommend is, start analysing what your hands are doing. Find an artwork in which you admire the skill of the artist and try to replicate the way their brushstrokes or lines work. Find a screenshot with really good colours and try to make little thumbnails with the colours and the shapes that you see. Don’t go for actually replicating screenshots, define a goal and don’t worry about the rest. If it’s the creative part you feel stuck on, my go to advice is always — stop and take a break. Go outside and look at your surroundings. Watch a movie, go down the rabbit hole of YouTube tutorials on how to restore a night stand (not obligatory), go to your local museum and just. Look. Let your brain wander in how beautiful mundane things are. How pretty are the faces of the people on your bus. Love what you see and with love comes art.

Now on to the learning part. This one is way less poetic because, well, the theory behind art is an academic field and I’m not an expert in it. There is a sea of decent art tutorials on YouTube, ranging from colour theory to multiple point perspective. If you have an artist who’s very skilled and happens to have a YT channel, watch them and really think about what they’re doing and why. I can’t stress this enough, if you want to actively learn something, you have to watch critically. If you have any spare money, you can invest in an art basics course too, god knows my brain expanded 40 times when I finally attended one, and I’ve been drawing for years before that. If you don’t have the finances for that — don’t worry. First, learning is a process and attending a class just sometimes accelerates it. Second, attending a class later in life does NOT mean you missed an opportunity. Rounding up, outside of any means of formal education you can still learn some useful things. Start with the basics, with the “boring” stuff (and I use parenthesis because drawing boxes is really fun actually), with “how to draw a straight line and what is line weight” and not “upper limb anatomy” or “advanced colour theory”. You’ll get there eventually, I promise. Just like I mentioned all the way in the beginning of this awfully long reply: it’s not a competition!

I hope this was useful in any way and I wish you lots of luck and patience. And love what you do, regardless of what other people do.

[thefinalcinderella]

Tsurune: Irodori no Issha Episode 13 - Summer Memories

Yeah I totally planned to release this during the summer...all according to plan

Also I’m still trying to figure out how to upload the audio dramas...should I upload it to google drive or mega? In a zip file? Give me suggestions below

Nanao, Seiya, Ryouhei, Kaito: Let’s work hard together!

Kaito: There’s so few people!

Seiya: Well, it is a self-study day after all

Nanao: The girls are all taking the day off as well

Seiya: Takigawa-san isn’t here because of shrine duties. And Tommy-sensei will come in the afternoon.

Ryouhei: Oh...how’s Minato?

Seiya: His fever went down, but we can’t say that he’s back to normal

Nanao: Is today the third day? We’ve been working hard this whole summer.

Kaito: Isn’t he impatient to draw a bow soon?

Seiya: He tried to come, but we forcibly sent him back to his room. He said he’s going to properly sleep, but...

Kaito: Then, should we begin practicing?

Seiya: No, we have a big job to do today before Tommy-sensei can come.

Kaito: W-What kind of big job

Seiya: Cleaning the boys’ changing room!

Nanao, Ryouhei, Kaito: Geh!

Nanao: Wow~ we really made a big mess, haven’t we

Ryouhei: We had tournaments, joint practices, training camps, Nationals, so we couldn’t really clean~

Seiya: Everyone cleans the kyudojo together, but the boys and girls are in charge of their own changing rooms.

Seiya: This is a perfect opportunity, so let’s clean this place up and welcome the new semester with a good feeling

Ryouhei: Wow, look at this. It’s all worn out~

Seiya: That’s Minato’s rubber bow.

Kaito: He used it that much?

Nanao: He’s really tenacious

Minato: He even endured Takigawa-san’s high-handedness. I think he accomplished it really well

Kaito: Masa-san was no match for a “bow fanatic”

Seiya: Mmm? Some kind of note? Yugake, custom made, outer border, leather cord...

Ryouhei: Oh, that! That’s mine...

Nanao: Were you going to replace your yugake?

Kaito: Didn’t you just buy one? 

Ryouhei: No, I...I just wanted to get stronger quickly so I won’t slow everyone down. I thought I’d improve if I changed my yugake.

Seiya: But, you didn’t buy it?

Ryouhei: Yeah. I know the only thing I can do is to work hard

Nanao: There are no shortcuts in learning. And in the same way, there’s no kindou in kyudo~*

Seiya: Now I found a DVD behind the shelves. Whose is this?

Ryouhei: ?

Ryouhei: “Beginner’s Guide to Yoga”?

Kaito: Whose DVD is this? Who is the one who secretly doing yoga?

Nanao: Now that I think about it, I saw Kacchan secretly putting a DVD in his bag once

Kaito: Ugh...

Kaito: Well, you see... I was looking up things about dantian breathing and found out that it’s similar to how you breathe in yoga, so I thought I’d watch it for some reference. What’s wrong with that?

Ryouhei: That’s so cool!

Seiya: So, was it helpful?

Kaito: They say that natural and correct breathing can create a regular, balanced mental state. Masa-san said the same thing before

Seiya: So, is this shamen uchiokoshi book yours too?

Kaito: No, that’s not mine

Nanao: I guess it’s mine?

Ryouhei: No way, Nanao, you also became obsessed with shamen?

Nanao: No, rather than admiring it, it’s more that I want to deepen my knowledge of kyudo.

Nanao: I want to know why there are other schools. Once I knew that, I might know more about shoumen uchiokoshi than I do now

Kaito: Hmm

Seiya: Book learning and actual practice. Both are important

Nanao: Yeah. I didn’t plan on focusing so much on kyudo in my high school life, though

Ryouhei: It kinda feels like all of us

Kaito: Are total “bow maniacs.”

Nanao: Yep

Minato: Sorry, I’m late...

Everyone: Minato!

Minato: I’m fine now. My fever dropped a while ago. So I’m okay!

Seiya: Kaito, Ryouhei. Hold Minato down

Kaito and Ryouhei: Got it

Minato: Fweh!?

Nanao: Okay, Minato. Turn right around and go back to your bed

Seiya: I'll lock the door and go, so you guys go ahead

Nanao: Roger that, president!

Minato: But I just came here!?

Kaito: You’re recovering! Don’t push yourself

Nanao: No one’s a bigger “bow maniac” than Minato

Minato: I haven’t drawn a bow for three days...

Ryouhei: You’re gonna be fine. The target won’t run away

Seiya: You can come right away after your fever is down

Kaito: You’re so obsessive...

[artsinus]

Quick little drawing Progress check

Tbh i’ve been thinking a lot lately about art and stuff, and it really does feel like i’m stuck right now. These past few days, i’ve barely drawn at all, so ye sorry for not being an artist.

Y’know, i’d rant, but not before at least showing a quick drawing of hanying

It really feels like i’ve entered a road block for art right now, because i feel so… mid. Average in every criteria, i mean. My progress in art has slowed, my style shows no improvement or originality, and my shading is subpar. I know in order to draw better, i need to draw more but… what do I draw?

Y’know, sometimes i feel like i’m in need of a go-to character for me to draw whom i could draw in a jiffy. Cough Lin Fei cough Caspian. I was thinking a while ago, but I really just don’t have any characters I really fricking love to the point of obsession. So, i thought, maybe it’d be easier to just create a character for me to draw, right? Well, turns out i’m absolutely butt cheeks at designing characters. I do have one character I really like right now, and it’s Kayoko from BA. Thing is, she’s not immune to art block because really, i still haven’t drawn her enough. I started to actually draw way later than everyone, starting to become serious only during last summer break. This means I don’t have as much time to develop my character knowledge as everyone else. For me personally, it just feels like i’m way behind everyone else. Well… actually maybe that’s way it should be. I started latte. So i guess it makes sense.

[nobodysdaydreams]

1, 5, 32 and/or 71 for the ask game! Hope you’re doing well, don’t forget hydration and sleep!

At long last I am beginning to clean out the inbox. Thank you Katie for the hydration tip and for the asks!

(1) Do you prefer writing one-shots or multi-chaptered fics?

This is a hard one to answer. One shots (I consider anything less than 20k words a one shot because I have a problem, and I don’t think I can write real one shots😔), are easier in that they don’t take as long, and I can get the idea out, show you all my story, and get feedback relatively quickly. However, once a one shot is written, it’s written, and then it’s back the drawing board to come up with new ideas. Whereas with really long multi chapter fics, the idea keeps going, there’s always something new to think about, another “one shot” or character moment or twist to weave into the story, and I love seeing your reactions and how invested different people get into different subplots and storylines. What is frustrating about multi chapter fics is that there’s a lot of delayed gratification involved for me and for you as the reader, because I have twists and ideas in SOS that I want to show you and talk about and I can’t yet, because we’re not there yet, whereas for something like the Martina Redemption fic, it’s technically a multi chapter fic, but they’re short chapters, and I wrote it all over a long weekend. Whereas I’ve been writing SOS since January and rotating the idea for it since before I even got a tumblr so… yeah that’s over a year now dang. So I’d say multi chapter fics, with the acknowledgment that there is probably a balance to be had somewhere in between the two extremes. SOS is a lot of fun to write, but I don’t think I could commit to writing another huge multi chapter fic at the same time, whereas it’s a lot easier to balance multiple wips when they’re one shots.

5. Do you like constructive criticism?

Interesting question. About my writing or in general? For my writing I’d say yes, but so far I haven’t gotten any. Which might be a good thing, although I did say when I first started writing fic, “hey I’ve never done much or any creative writing before, so if you have any feedback on things I can improve, please let me know”, but I haven’t gotten anything yet so I guess that means I’m doing okay? At least I hope. As for criticisms of myself or my blog in general, I’d accept constructive criticism on that too, as long as it’s worded nicely and doesn’t trigger my RSD.

32. Name three of your favorite fanfic writers.

Ah, fishing for compliments I see /j /lh. But please do not make me choose so many of you are so good! I want to tag every fic author in the fandom, and yet I’m so paranoid I’ll forget just one or two people and would never forgive myself. So besides you @myfairkatiecat (obviously), I’ll say the authors whose stuff I’ve read the most recently: @sophieswundergarten (for her amazing Sticky fic I seriously cannot hype that one up enough), @phtalogreenpoison (the Reynie is Curtain’s prodigy AU is incredible), and @heyitsthatonesmolgay because I am waiting on the edge of my seat for the greatest fear AU it sounds so good (check out snippets here and here)!

71. When it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, etc. ?

Very good question. For my longer stuff, I start with the scenes and moments I have pinned down in my head that inspired the fic, bullet point the scenes in chronological order, and then write in the details that go in between and ideas for how to get from bullet point A to bullet point B and how I can write in additional “one shots” or impactful and interesting character moments to make those transitions seem less like plot filler and more exciting and fun to read and have it add something to either the characters or the story. Then when I’ve already written part of my fic, I still try to keep track of unfinished plot threads, cliff hangers, or things I plan to explain later (e.g., What happened with Sticky’s parents? Where did Isaac and Lindsey go? What’s up with Miss. Perumal’s past?). As for the characters, I do try to take the time to flesh out minor characters, because you can do that a bit more in a novel vs. tv format, but I also try to make sure I keep the main characters interesting and don’t create an unbalanced plot. I’ve talked about this before, but an unbalanced plot happens in a lot of shows where a few characters have these big mysteries that the whole fandom is super involved in and then these other main characters either end up with filler or their character development gets backtracked and rerun because they don’t know what to do with their storylines (this was one of my season 3 worries when season 3 was gonna be a thing and you can click the link to read more if you’re curious). I try to make sure all the main characters get some focus, and I also do that by letting some characters establish themselves before I start writing about other ones. For example, in SOS, that started as mostly Curtain and his friends, I establish a sense for their dynamic, and then Nicholas and his friends came into the story, and I’m slowly bringing more focus on Rhonda and Number Two, and as I’m going into season 2 I plan to write a lot more with Number Two especially, because of all the time she spends with Curtain and Nicholas in the compound.

I hope this answered your questions and thank you so much for the amazing asks (and yes, I will be drinking water). I hope you have a wonderful day! 🥰🥰🥰

[mrs-gucci]

𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 (HC’s)

𝘦𝘥𝘥𝘪𝘦 𝘮𝘶𝘯𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘹 𝘨𝘯!𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

idk, here are some random hc’s. been feeling like I’ve been posting into the void as of late, but here I am anyway. I think we can all relate to this situation & need in some way or another, so I made it gender neutral for everyone to read & enjoy!

warnings: mentions of work troubles, he gives you a back massage, but other than that it’s just fluff :)

|| 𝖊𝖉𝖉𝖎𝖊 𝖒𝖚𝖓𝖘𝖔𝖓 𝖒𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙 ||

You’ve been quiet, much too quiet for Eddie’s liking. Sure, you’re not always super outgoing, but still, you’ve been quiet. He’s worried.

He knows work has been hard for you lately but you haven’t told him anything, which is fine, he respects that. You’re the type to carry all the weight on your shoulders and most times, it hurts you and he hates that. He wants to be there for you.

So when you come home, again wearing that fake smile on your face, he can’t hold back anymore. He asks what’s up, what’s been going on with you.

At first, you brush it off like you have been for the past couple months, but Eddie knows you’re bluffing. He knows you so well, he knows that something’s up.

Never forcing you or pushing you too hard, he simply steps up to you, puts his hands on your shoulders, and smiles softly. “I love you and I’m here for you. I just want you to know that. I’d never judge you. I just wanna be here for you, Y/N. I don’t want you to be sad or depressed or stressed, not with me.”

Months of built-up stress and anxiety and sadness suddenly boils over and you break down, just falling apart in his arms. He holds you tightly as you cry, kissing the top of your head and your temples, wherever he can reach.

You tell him everything, all that’s been going on. Your shitty boss, your annoying coworkers, that promotion you almost got but then were passed up by someone who has worked there less time than you...all of it comes pouring out.

And Eddie? He just listens. He just holds you and wipes your tears and is just there for you. It’s exactly what you need at this moment, just someone to listen and hold you. Somehow, Eddie always seems to know what you need.

After you’re calmed down a bit, he drags you to the couch and pulls you onto his lap, caressing your tear-stained cheek as he leans in to press a kiss to your lips.

“I’m glad you told me, thank you,” he hums, looking up at you. “I love you and I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time. But I know you’re strong and you can make it through this, it’ll get better, I promise. It might not be soon, but I know your time will come, baby.”

His words are comforting. You’re so lucky to have someone like Eddie in your life. “Thank you, Eds. You’re the best...I love you so much, baby.”

The two of you talk for a bit, just talk. He listens more, gives you advice and comforts you through the whole thing. He’s so patient, you really appreciate & love that about him.

Once you’ve calmed down and centered yourself again, Eddie insists on giving you a back massage. 

Now, I personally feel like he would be really bad at it at first lmao but he’s very eager & willing to learn and improve. Plus, he’s got those nice, skilled fingers, so once he learns, he’s got it mastered within minutes.

He massages your shoulders, your back, your thighs, your hips, your ass (because he can’t not touch it...he loves your ass). He leaves kisses pretty much everywhere he touches, even though you’re still fully clothed. 

After that, he rushes to the bathroom to draw you a bath, putting your favorite salts/oils into the water before helping you undress and step into the tub.

I think he just enjoys watching you take baths. a friend and I had this discussion the other day and I love the idea of him just sitting in the bathroom with you, watching you relax and take a bath. He just loves being with you and being in your presence, so he’s perfectly content just watching you in the bath!

Eddie is such a thoughtful and caring partner, he’s just the best. I wish I had an Eddie when things are hard in my life :(

stranger things general taglist! @steves-robin​ @alexxavicry​ eddie’s taglist! @shadowbr-uc-e-blog​​ 

wanna be tagged in my ST character writings? fill out my STRANGER THINGS TAGLIST FORM !!

****

I feel like a bit of a broken record lol, but my requests for stranger things characters (eddie & steve) are open :) check out this post for more details!

[quibbs126]

And here’s an actual themed collection of drawings, featuring the Bronev family

The first one is just a headcanon of mine that Rachel had just the meanest glare, and that Desmond inherited it. If anyone who’s been in Targent long enough sees that glare, they kind of immediately know that’s Rachel’s (and by extension Bronev’s) kid. Not sure I portrayed how intense the glare is supposed to be though

Anyways, after that I just decided to draw the Bronev family being cute

I don’t think I’m very good at drawing small children in proportion to adults, I probably need to improve on that

I drew them all in the outfits we see in the AL credits just because I like to imagine that’s their outdoor/adventure outfits, and that these would be taking place in that hypothetical pre-Targent Bronev family game, where these would be their outfits

Speaking of which, to be perfectly honest they could totally do that. I mean, so long as you don’t reference Hershel Layton or Descole too much, if someone hasn’t played Azran Legacy they could very well have no idea who these characters are, other than one of the kids looks like Professor Layton and the other is named Hershel like him, but I don’t think that’d immediately tip someone off, considering those are two separate facts. You could just as well assume these two are merely references to the character. And plus, because Professor Layton exists in a world without a set timeline like our own, you could easily assume that this “game” would be taking place in the 60s just like the rest of the games, despite it actually taking place in the late 20s or so, so you could just assume this is happening parallel. And because personally, I’d put this hypothetical game around a year before everything goes down, there wouldn’t really be any references that could spoil things for people, unless you just so happen to be playing Azran Legacy but haven’t finished when playing this game

Granted that’s all hypothetical talk, but at the same time I really would mind a puzzle game featuring a family like this, you could do a lot with the dynamics I think

But yeah anyways, hope you enjoy the drawings

[quitefair]

Fanfiction Writer Questions!

Was tagged by the very lovely @optiwashere some time ago, and I've only just had the chance to sit down and take a crack at this!

Not gonna tag anybody, but if you read this and want to do it, consider yourself tagged!

(Also this is talking about a lot of fics that I've written but not published because well... that's just how it's been lmao...

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

13 at the moment. I’ve deleted a few things that I’m not entirely proud of/works that I’m planning on rewriting and improving upon.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

26,031 (my WIP folder has almost 100k words, if we want any comparison)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mainly Dragon Age! Although AO3 is misleading… I’ve only got 7 fics on there for Dragon Age. But these don’t include the ones I’ve deleted and also the literal hundreds of WIP documents in my writing folder. It’s become quite a problem. I’ve also been writing for Baldur’s Gate 3 a bit more recently, but those fics are on hold because of lack of time/motivation/the fact I’ve not finished the game yet and want to do my research and understand characterisation and plot better.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. a lesson in grief (T-rated, Vi/Caitlyn from Arcane) 2. slip away (G-rated Gen-fic from Hades 2020) 3. Names (G-rated Fenris/Female Hawke from Dragon Age) 4. Anxious Grief (T-rated, Cassandra Pentaghast/Male Cadash from Dragon Age) 5. Fear and Forgiveness (G-rated, Dorian Pavus/Male Adaar from Dragon Age)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to! Every single comment I get is like fuel to my brain so I love and appreciate each one!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I think I did toy around with a fic where I left Hawke in the Fade. The process of getting into Fenris’ headspace during that was way too painful for me to continue.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of my fics tend towards happy endings, even if they pack a lot of angst in the body of em. Of the ones I’ve got published, I’d say Names.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I haven’t, but then again I post so rarely and sporadically so people forget I even exist huhu.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

… Yes… (and that’s all im gonna say)

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I’ve not written crossovers per se, I’m more of an AU kinda guy. Though there’s definitely an ancient story I wrote back when I was like 13 that had like, every single bit of media I’d ever loved merged into one, and the excuse was that I’d just read His Dark Materials and wanted my own universe where everything I loved existed at once. COMPLETELY self-indulgent shit.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I know…

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope! At least not that I know of.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Again no… I’ve not done a lot of stuff huhu!

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

It’s the one and only. The girls that live rent free in my head. The girls that deserve everything. (It’s Josephine Montilyet/my Inquisitor from Dragon Age Inquisition)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

It’s the Dragon Age Inquisition rewrite I’ve been complaining about for the longest time. It’s become the pet project I keep poking at whenever I have the energy to. All my Tashak/Josephine fics are set within this, and honestly at this point, instead of making one large fic, I might as well just post the disjointed chapters separately even if they don’t make sense. I’ve got WIPs in the folder from 2016. It’s out of control.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I’d like to think I’m good at descriptive writing, at drawing the reader into the scene and pulling them along with the story.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I’m so bad at dialogue it’s not even funny. Also, my writing can tend towards too much rambling – I guess that’s just because it’s the way my brain works.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

The only other language I’m fluent in is Malay, and I really can’t imagine myself writing in that unless in very specific circumstances.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Dang, I think it was probably for BIONICLE. Way back when I was like, in secondary school.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Published? Names. There’s stuff in there I still feel jealous of, even today. Unpublished – a bunch of stuff for Aforementioned Dragon Age Rewrite. I should really post stuff from there at some point LMAO…

[crescencestudio]

Devlog #25 | 11.28.22

Hi everyone!

How have you all been? We are slowly approaching holiday season, so hope the end of the year has been bringing some moments of rest and connection with loved ones <3 We are back with another devlog, so let’s get into it! 

Writing

Writing has been where the bulk of my time has been spent this past month. I’ve been working closely with Wudgey, our developmental editor, to flesh out routes, endings, and information cohesion between everything. We’ve officially finished the route summaries for each character, and I’m quite happy with how the lore, endings, and character development has turned out! I think the magic, backstories, and characters have really come to life after talking with them, so I’m eternally grateful <3

Aside from that, my big, big focus has been Kayn’s route. I’ve begun writing the actual script for their route based on our outline and am currently sitting at ~25k words. At first, I was beating myself up a lot with the progress --- I felt like I wasn’t moving fast enough. But now that I’m actually seeing that number and realizing that’s from one month’s work, I’m pretty proud with myself, haha! This is just a rough draft, and it doesn’t include fleshed out choices, the fun characterization scenes where we get to just have fun with the LIs, etc., but I’ve written up most of the basic plot (I’d estimate about 80%). I anticipate this first draft without fleshed out choices and extra characterization scenes will end at around 30k-35k words, so almost there!!!

Art

Last time, I showed you all one of the BGs Vui had finished. And honestly, most of the art development process has been on Vui’s side since I haven’t been spending as much time on Alaris art (((you will see why below LOL))). Above is the most recent background I got back from them, and I’m honestly blown away by how it looks. I find it so unbelievably stunning and can’t believe it’s going to be featured in the game. Hope you all like it as much as I do and are just as excited for future BGs Vui cooks up! 

I have been working on some CGs, but I’ll be keeping those a secret for now hehe ^^

Additional Features

Finally, the sound and music! I’ve already started receiving some of the voiced lines back from the VAs for the demo portion. I haven’t gotten a chance to review them yet since I’ve been preoccupied, and they’re not ~as~ time sensitive. But I’m hoping to start reviewing the lines next month and hope to have a better idea of how the characters are sounding! Regardless, I’m very excited to give them a listen <3

I’ve also been working with Peter for song composition for the soundtrack. We have three songs complete, specifically the main theme song, romantic/tender track, and the tense track. I’ll be previewing them in the near future, so be on the lookout!! 

"Market Research” 

I’m going to have to start unironically having a spot for fanart highlights, haha! Lately, I’ve been trying to improve my rendering and other aspects of my art that I don’t have as much comfort with. Because I don’t want to only draw Alaris all the time, I use other works as a way to practice my art, so that when I work on CGs and sprites, I’ll be able to use those new techniques to hopefully deliver a better visual product for you all! 

I was quite proud with how all of these came out. This month, I took a dive into Mystic Messenger and Blooming Panic, two games I’ve heard so much about but have never gotten the chance to play. I felt so inspired with both of them since I have little exposure to chat-based games and fell in love with the GUI (the discord layout of Blooming Panic is especially creative!!), characterization, and voice dynamics between the cast. 

While playing games doesn’t seem directly related to game development, it helps me see what’s out there and improve on things to bring to Alaris. I’ve already gotten a lot of ideas floating around that I hope to implement, so I hope you all look forward to it! Until next month, and I wish you all an early safe, warm, and happy holidays!!! <3

[hiddenjam]

Some help for my mom - UPDATED

Hello friends, you probably don’t know who I am since I haven’t been active here from years, and I rarely post anything, some of you even messaged me wondering if I was still alive, I'm so sorry if I ever worried anyone, I'm alive! I just don’t have time and motivation to be active these days, thanks a lot for you lovely persons who dmed me tho ♡ this and other reasons are why I regret letting my depression drown me for too long, because I’m feeling so tired right now, so lonely, but I’m also feeling desperate and helpless because I need your help. So my mom has been very sick from some time ago, but just recently, she got diagnosed with a brain tumor, and she needs a surgery urgently, like doctors gave her 2 months if we do nothing, and 1 has already passed, but the cost its high and I don't have enough money to help her.

I know I said before I was going to do commissions, but my time has been shortened since I also work long hours and taking care of my mom at the same time its really tiresome, physically and mentally, not that I complain in helping her tho. So maybe this year, hopefully I’ll make some progress with that. I'm sorry I'm rambling, I'm not very good with words, back at the matter… 

I’m feeling REALLY ashamed to be asking for help, but like I said Im feeling desperate to help my mom, I only live with her and I need her just like she needs me right now, she’s suffering a lot, and the feeling of helpless its horrible because I can’t help her like she needs to. 

So please, please, consider donate to make her surgery, she doesn’t have much time left, even if its a small donation, every cent no matter the amount its important to us, and it will help to do it as soon as possible. 

And if you can’t donate but still wants to help, then share this link to reach to others, really, anything right now its important to me, thank you for reading, and thanks a lot for your help.

Tbh I still don’t know everything about this tumor, but I shared more info and details in the fundraiser link, and even if you need a commission (I mean a drawing for a donation) you can dm me, I've never done a commission before, but I will try my best to do it, really by this point I’d do anything to help my mom. 

Thanks a lot and take care ♡ ♡ ♡ This is the donation page: https://gofund.me/347d39a2

EDIT: My mom survived the surgery with the help of everyone!! Thanks a LOT for all donations & shares! by changing the doctor we managed to give her a second chance in life 🥺 Also the tumor turned out to be benign!

Her doctor talked about her case on facebook !

SO GLAD we found him, the first doctor was charging us 22k while this doc charged us 10k (I put 3k from my saves) and it turned out all good! its amazing the improvement that my mom has shown ever since the 1st day of the surgery. And she's smiling 🥺❤️

Right now the only problem is the radiosurgery, and its another expense 😭 I dont know when this gonna end, but docs say hopefully is the last time, the probability is never 0 but she will need to be checked from time to time. In the meantime I will share the fundraiser for the radiosurgery, yeah I know, its shameless, but I really hope not to be in this position ever again after this. This time, Im no afraid of the outcome, I'm hopeful but need to be patient.

Once again, please, I need your help, I dont know If I should do another post about it, but for the moment I will just add it here in the ogpost: https://gofund.me/da136114

Once again thanks for your consideration <3

[avenyl]

Hello.

Is saying hello even appropriate at this point?

Uh, hi. I’m not back yet, I think. But I’m working on it. I’m sorry for the radio silence on literally every front but I’d be lying if I said I knew why it happened.

I just want you all to know what’s up in case that’s something you’re curious about. For those who are, read on. Those of you who aren’t, that’s alright. I’m glad to have you around anyway.

TL;DR I tell you what’s up but in like, ~700 words because I have no self-control.

I’m pretty sure my last login was sometime around February 2022. Can’t believe it’s been over a year and a half! Feels so weird to acknowledge that I’ve been away from art, something that’s been a constant in my life up until this point, for almost two years! Wow!

Those of you who saw the last of my posts already know what my mindset was like at the time. Honestly, I can’t really say it’s improved much, if any. Looking at the art I’ve put out so far makes me feel miserable, for a lack of better word. I’m not gonna elaborate on the feelings because I’m certain all of you have had them at some point. I had hoped they would vanish in time, but they did not.

I can’t tell if these feelings are related to what was going on in my life at the time (they probably are but I haven’t connected the dots yet), mostly because I don’t feel like anything particularly bad happened that could’ve boosted these feelings for me. In fact, a lot of good things happened. Some bad things happened too, as they usually do in life. So, to spare you the details:

-I met someone and we’ve been in a relationship sinch March 2022 (he’s great and we’ve been living together for almost a year now);

-I failed to graduate in 2022 but I managed to fix that at the beginning of July this year (finally!);

-I worked three different jobs in the meantime (not simultaneously) to afford rent, and those took up most of my energy;

-I’ve been on and off different meds while trying to figure out what works for me;

-A lot of family-related events happened in the year I’ve been gone and I’m sure there’s more to come;

-I’ve been reading a lot, and I honestly feel like that sort of became my outlet when drawing felt like too big of a challenge;

-I’ve become even less interested in pursuing the major I’ve been working towards so far, and I’ve decided to stop at my bachelor’s and maybe try my hand at some other profession somewhere along the line.

The last one did me in, honestly. Seeing all my colleagues and friends graduate while I sat back really took a toll on me and I don’t think I’ll be able to recover from that one for a while. The inferiority I felt regarding my art and the progress I’ve made so far combined with not being able to do the one thing everybody around me seemed to be able to do almost effortlessly and, well… it didn’t feel very good.

I believe this is what made me disappear. Honestly though, I’m not 100% sure—it could’ve been something else, and it feels weird to blame my sudden departure on something like my mental state, given that I don’t feel much different now, and I didn’t feel particularly different then. Just existing and getting by has been challenging for years.

But I feel like I might be ready to try drawing again sometime soon. I’ll probably expand my horizons a bit. Don’t get me wrong, dragons are fun and I won’t give up on those, but you’ll probably be seeing a bit more variation from me in the future. I might even give humans a go! Oh boy!

(Not yet though. But soon, hopefully.)

Lastly, I think I want to rebrand my online presence. I feel like I’ve changed quite a bit since I opted for this username, and it no longer feels like me. So, if you see a stranger on your dash, fear not! It’s probably me, trying out something new. I think that’s going to be my first move.

It’s a start. It’s more than I’ve had for over two years, and I might just give it a go. I hope to see you along the way!

[doberart]

Dober Mike: ¡¿What the fuck, Who are!? (Grabbing a bat from the basement). (He just enter the basement to search for tools for his uncle)

(He just have happen to appear in this place by miscalculations of dipper)Mike Pines:¡¿Wait put the bat down, I AM-, uh man do I seriously still have that!??

Dober Mike:¡¿Still have what!?

Mike Pines:¡¡¡My Mulett!!!, I mean jesus i think I...I mean we leave the punk phase behind us after the accident!!

Dober Mike: Well, at least I don`t look like a walk out of Terminator or Rambo: First Blood.

Dober Mike: ¡¡Enough I am going to send you to dreamland until I get answers you robotic doppelganger!!

Dober Henry:¿What happen, Michael, couldn`t find the tools? ¡¿What the heck, two mikes?! (He just enters the basement to see what the heck is yelling about and what was taking too long)

Mike Pines: Look see it's what it looks like, well, it does actually, but I am not a doppelganger of father, I just landed in the wrong place on the wrong time!

Dober Mike: Yeah and I am Mary Poppies, ¡say your prayers!

Mike Pines: Coming from the dimensional counterpart with bad hairstyle choice.

Dober Mike: ¡Watch it, you-!

Dober Henry: Wait he is telling the truth, Mike, he is you.

Dober Mike/Mike Pines: ¡¿What?!

Mike Pines:¿But,how?

Dober Henry: I mean, you didn`t expect that your own Uncle will forget his own nephew sarcasm or what.

Mike Pines: Well, he does have a point.

Dober Mike: Agree.

Hey, it's me again, I'm here to ask you a favor or more permission to write a one-shot story with your Michael Afton and SonicCrazyGal Michael Afton in Ao3, but if you don`t want me to do that is okay, but I would like if you can draw this dialogue in your iconic art style of this idea, I know there isn't so much about your fnaf au, but I am a fan of both your fnaf, batim, and batdr art and aus too, and it will make happy if you could draw this into a little comic and free to alter the dialogue if it's needed (I just 18 yr old) so you know and if you can then at least I am happy that I show this to you because I enter to animation was because of you and your art. And I think some people also see you that way as a way to improve in our own ways if you know what I meant. Anyways have a good day and afternoon!

That would be a silly scenario. Haha. I appreciate that you like my AU idea and my Mike, but at this time I’d like if you wouldn’t write for the AU just yet. I haven’t fleshed out many details and I’m not sure when more will get developed, so for now I’d like it to stay unwritten. I don’t mind fan art of my designs, but this AU so far is just a few drawings and scrambled ideas I have yet to put together. I don’t know when I’ll get back to it or when I’ll make more, just depends on when inspiration strikes. :)

I’m glad you like my art and ideas and thank you for your kind words and for asking first. It’s always nice to know I can help inspire someone in their art journey. I always love to hear about more and more people getting into art. I wish you the best of luck with your studies and journey in that. Hope you have a good afternoon/evening as well!

[saijspellhart]

I think people are afraid to approach you because for the time I've known you, I've seen that you tend to snap at random people or misjudge their intentions as antagonistic. You also focus so much energy on what you don't have (notes, comments, etc) or on a single annoying person here and there, than express appreciation for the fans you do have.

Acknowledgement where acknowledgment is due, I am prickly when I perceive someone to be harassing me.

Why? Because I do not receive the occasional “annoying person here and there,” I receive lots of harassing, guilt trippy, rude, or entitled messages every single day. The amount of “please update,” “why haven’t you updated?” “Have you abandoned your fic?” “When are you going to update?” is just overwhelming and anxiety inducing. And I delete most of them. I only respond to a few, and it’s usually to remind people to not do that sort of thing. You can only receive so much anon hate and rude messages before it erodes your patience away. People would not even relent when my mother died and I said I’d be on hiatus. They STILL sent me mean/guilt-trip messages on anon. You only see a small percentage of the hate mail I get, and I’m honestly not obligated to share my entire inbox with you. Suffice to say I’ve had to have friends and family vet and delete my emails and notifications before because I got so much that I went spiraling into depression.

If someone genuinely messages me with kind words, patience, and the intent to have a conversation then I am delighted to engage them. I am so extremely chatty. But when someone approaches me to send me guilt-trippy, pressuring, or harassing messages, then I am not delighted to engage them. And 90% of the time I delete them. Because I don’t like having an inbox filled with those comments on any of my socials.

As far as wanting more notes, comments, etc. When? When in the last two, three years have I made posts bemoaning that my work isn’t receiving enough attention? When have I asked for notes?

Are my fans not appreciated enough? I respond to very many of my asks with doodles and drawings. I’ve spent my birthdays before drawing cute arts for my fans just so I could respond to their birthday wishes with cute doodles. I’ve done art and writing giveaways, I’ve accepted fanfics prompts for pairings. I’ve done art doodles and kiss drawing prompts. I leave dedications in my fanfics to certain fans. I’ve given away free shiny Pokémon for the Pokémon games. And when fans ask me to read their fics, more often than not I go check out their work and leave feedback.

TO FANS: if you are feeling unappreciated. What are ways I can make you feel more appreciated? I’d be delighted to know ways I can improve in showing my love and appreciation.

[childofaura]

I'd be interested to see your takes on Okuma Yugo, I think their first was the first male Grima, and their art has improved so much since then, and even then with Grima I can only say it just looked a little off? They also do marvelous work on male chests

I’m on my phone right now so I apologize if any photos I post turn out wonky or with bad quality.

But you’re right, Okuma Yugo’s first piece was Grima M!Robin, and while he was very nicely stylized in Yugo’s unique drawing… well, style, I’d say Grima looked a little funky because of how big his eyes are and how small the head is in comparison:

But don’t let that throw you off too much; Yugo has some outstanding perspective even just in his piece for Grima:

And look at those effects, and look at the expression! Overall Yugo has a very distinct style, and they ABSOLUTELY improved with Halloween Grima:

I actually didn’t realize it was the same artist because it was so drastically different from OG Grima up there.

… Until I saw Grima’s damage portrait and I thought, “Oh, that’s them all right”:

And uhhh… yeah, they do enjoy their chests, lawl:

I actually think, according to sources, Yugo is a woman so this all tracks. And given the overwhelming amount of female characters in ridiculous poses and losing clothing, she’s just giving us the equality we deserve. Though for fairness’ sake, I will say that some of the damage portraits are a little… much, especially Halloween Grima. His little pinup pose up there could be toned down just a bit. But she brings a lot of great posing, coloring, and expression otherwise. The only thing I can think of criticism-wise was the aforementioned goofy damage art for Halloween Grima and sometimes their perspective looks a little weird, like Ascended Joshua’s hand:

Additionally, they haven’t really drawn female characters or a wide variety of male characters. According to their Twitter they do draw women, so I’ll half-revoke that criticism.

Overall, Okuma Yugo is a very solid 9/10 (and I really really REALLY want her to draw Shura ;w; )

[summmeister]

A look over the art I made in 2022

Once again, a year has flown by, and I’m none the wiser to the sheer amount of progress I’ve made with my art over the past 12 months. It’s astonishing now to look over all the drawings I’ve created, comparing the earlier ones to the later ones, and seeing clear as day how I’ve gained a clearer eye for detail, style, and consistency.

In this post I’ll be going over the past 12 months of my art and briefly explaining any pieces that stand out, showing how they made an impact on how I approach the hobby of illustration.

JANUARY

To kick off the year, I participated in HillelArt’s Rhythm Heaven art collab! I both contributed an art piece and helped with the project itself, creating the grid and frame that artists would use to draw their pieces around. I also created a much more in-depth reference sheet for Skweeb, a major upgrade from the previous, more lore heavy sheet I had made in November of 2021.

FEBURARY

February was an… interesting month, shall we say. There was a trend involving, well, I mean I feel like the images explain themselves. I feel oddly compelled to do this again, and I have no idea why.

MARCH

March was a depressing month for me. I was having an odd crisis around my art style and where I should go with it. Some of these pieces look very different than anything else I had put out this year! I ended the month with a drawing of Jevil. My second attempt at drawing the character, in fact. I hate this drawing. To be quite honest, I think it’s the worst thing I put out this year. I hated it so much I immediately went in for a second attempt. It would be finished the next month.

APRIL

On the 1st of April, I finished my newest Jevil drawing. I’m quite proud of this one, I think it’s one of the best things I had put out up to that point. A lot of my friends agreed with that as well. It’s put together fantastically. This drawing also marked me switching my pen that I use in Clip Studio Paint to Real G-Pen. The less blurry lines allowed my art to stick out more, I feel.

This month, I also created the main artwork for Skweeb that I continue to use, even now. I think I’ll update it soon, but it’s lasted for longer than any of the previous “Renders” I’ve made.

MAY

May was generally uninteresting. I was busy with college work, so I didn’t experiment too much. I continued to improve this month, experimenting a little with smooth shading. I also made a piece I will only show and not talk about whatsoever.

JUNE

June was, again, generally uninteresting, But I did create 4 new original characters this month! It had been a while since I last create new OCs, and I felt a drive to create new ones. I do quite like them, although I admit I haven’t given any attention to them since, and I should create new follow-up art for them.

JULY

During July I participated in 2022’s Art Fight! Because of this, there’s only a couple drawings from this month that aren’t related to the event. However, these couple pieces I feel are important. They’re both Don’t Starve drawings, predominantly featuring the character Wortox. These are an extremely large bump in quality to what I had been making previously that it actually scared me a little. I was worried I wouldn’t be able to follow up to the first drawing, but I luckily proved myself wrong and proceeded to make a new piece of art I’d consider even higher quality than the previous. Quite happy with how July ended up!

AUGUST

August was a very dead month for art. I was VERY burnt out from making so many pieces for Art Fight, so there’s only one drawing from this month, however, it’s no small drawing! It’s a large collection of my favorite demons and imps from media that inspire me.

SEPTEMBER

September marked the first month I’d try to experiment with art more, and actually being successful! I started off the month with remaking emotes I had made earlier in the year, under a new style which would stick out much more. I like how these emotes turned out, and the style works well for both Dark Mode and Light Mode users! Next up, I created the character Lucy, which you’ve likely seen me post about recently as I redesigned her only a few days ago! (As of this post.) I also created this moody and atmospheric drawing of a plague doctor, where I tweaked around with colours to show warm lighting.

OCTOBER

Skweeb turned one year old! I made a fan art collage to celebrate, but that’s not really original art. This month, I was also given access to a drawing tablet with a screen and used it to create a drawing for Klei’s yearly Halloween fan art event for Don’t Starve Together. Once again, I’d experiment with smooth shading here, coming out to very interesting results indeed! While I’m firmly sticking to flat shading for now, I can definitely see myself to returning to smooth shading in the near future as I attempt to get better at it. I think some surfaces look much better when shaded smoothly!

NOVEMBER

November was another month that doesn’t have much of note except… Courtney… I don’t have much to say. No, not at all.

DECEMBER

And finally, we arrive at December! THIS MONTH!!! I experimented with editing colors on drawings to match the atmosphere, with blues for colder environments. As you could likely guess, I tried this out with a Christmas profile picture. I think it came out quite well! As well as this, I (VERY recently) Decided to switch to a community CSP pen for my drawings, as I’ve grown a little tired of the rougher pen look. As of right now, I’m quite happy with the change, although feelings can always alter down the line!

Once again, we arrive at the end of the art recap. While most people simply just put together a simple image, I like to go into detail how I was feeling throughout the year and anything that might have changed how I approach illustration. 2022, suffice to say, contains maybe even more progress than 2021!

Last, but certainly not least, I, once again, have redrawn my first ever piece of art I made when first delving into this hobby. I hope you like it!

Bring on 2023!