#i haven't read warriors in years but i already know at least one of these will happen

[kazoosandfannypacks]

📚

You seem like the kind of person who would be interested in my favorite of my unhinged AUs.

Basically it goes like this. In Episode I, Obi-Wan skipped through the great Trials of becoming a Jedi Knight because he was the first Jedi to kill a Sith Lord, Darth Maul, in over a hundred years. (This is canon. I read The Official Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Movie Scrapbook obsessively as a kid before I had unrestrained wookieepedia access. Do not question my deep lore knowledge.)

However, in this version of the story, someone points it out during the Clone Wars. It's just an offhanded comment in a council meeting. It shouldn't amount to much. But one of the other masters, thank The Force no one remembers who, offhandedly mentions that "Wait, didn't we find out Darth Maul is still alive a couple months ago?" and another council member jokingly makes a remark along the lines of "Shouldn't Obi-Wan's knighthood status be revoked?"

That would've been the end of the conversation, except that Master Kenobi and his padawan are there for the conversation, and Anakin appreciates the humor of the situation a little too much.

"Of course, the experiences he's already gained on the field are more than sufficient to make up for what's lacking in Master Kenobi's trials," Mace says, "he shouldn't require any further action."

But Anakin, who has secretly seen Obi-Wan hold his head up a little too high at being the only living Jedi to kill a Sith, and has heard him bring it up at more than one occasion, begins snickering, if not outright laughing. He apologizes for his impertinence, stating that he finds it funny that he now outranks his master by a technicality.

So, although the council agrees Obi-Wan can retain his knighthood, Obi-Wan decides that, no, he's always been a follower of the rules, he's not gonna let the rules slide on this one, either. And with that, he requests the council's permission for a Defintely-Not-Selfishly-Or-Spitefully-Motivated-Mission-To-Hunt-Down-And-Kill-Darth-Maul-For-The-Good-Of-The-Galaxy, which the council concedes to, because knowing the Disaster Lineage, either Kenobi would find a way to do it anyways, or Anakin would attempt to beat him to the punch and gain the title of Master behind their backs.

Obi-Wan spends the rest of the Clone Wars chasing down Darth Maul, and though he is unsuccessful at killing the fallen Sith warrior, he does manage to drive him off Mandalore and prevent the Duchess from dying, so that's at least a little consolation.

Anyways, because of all this, Anakin isn't nearly as upset about not having the title of Master when he's given his seat on on the council, because, hey, look, Obi-Wan's on the council too, and he's not even officially a Jedi Knight yet. In fact, Anakin argues that he's just killed Dooku, and since Darth Maul is still out there somewhere, he's the first Jedi to kill a Sith in a hundred years or so, right? Doesn't this grant him the rank of Master?

The entire council sighs at this technicality, but "right, Master Skywalker is," and because he's been given the title that he's more than earned by then, Master Anakin Skywalker never turns to the Dark Side and Order 66 never happens.

📔 send me any book emoji and I'll tell you about a fanfic idea that I daydream about but haven't written

[troutfur]

Tonight is Writer's Choice night because I said so and because I binged the whole of the new book over the course of my day off and it gave me ideas.

Tomorrow we're back to taking prompts from the audience, in accordance with my guidelines, but as a clarification since I've got more than a handful: Mapleshade's Vengeance is in fact one of the books I haven't read. And I'm not sure it's a book I even want to read. After the whole "yeah it's totally a good idea to write an article telling kids that if they don't jump into a flooding river to save someone else they're going to Hell, just get social media to shut up" fiasco from last year it just has left a sour taste in my mouth.

Preamble out of the way, enjoy Sunbeam's ThunderClan polycule, feat. pfurr dynamic worldbuilding:

On the night Nightheart went missing, Sunbeam went into her new nest feeling dejected. The whole of ThunderClan had been buzzing with a celebratory atmosphere but hearing her mate had left had her double-guessing herself at her decisions so far. The cryptic reassurances from StarClan Squirrelstar conveyed to to her had for sure not had remotely close to the intended effect. With no clear reason why he was gone she was left wondering if Nightheart’s wenwi --his maternal grandmother-- was even telling the truth or just trying to save face for her awbyyo --her bloodline.

As she settled in to sleep, Sunbeam felt a paw prodding at her side. “Hey.” Sunbeam raised her face to see the tortoiseshell face of Nightheart’s sister.“I know you haven’t officially joined the pfurr, but... would you like to sleep with us? At least until my brother’s back.”

“I...” Sunbeam was a bit taken aback. She turned her face towards two other cats cuddled with each other, their faces expectantly towards her. Those must be her empf --her nestmates-- Sunbeam guessed. “I thought Nightheart slept alone. He did mention you but with how he spoke I thought he was a--”

“Oh no, no!” the molly was quick to interject. “StarClan no, he’s not nearly bad enough to be a hug’koo.” In their language that was a word meant ‘cuckoo’, but it could also mean a cat that had been expelled from a nest. “He just has fallen into the habit of sleeping on his own. Being made a warrior late and all.”

“But he left his Clan to court me,” Sunbeam protested. Having let that slip out she wanted to swallow back her tongue. Berryheart would certainly have thought that an offense grave enough and she hoped upon reconsidering Finchlight wouldn’t agree with that view.

“And he’s not going to lose his place in his birth pfurr from that,” Finchlight said with a shrug. “You just try again the other way ‘round. The elders may say it’s disrespectful but I’ve always thought it was jus the smart thing to do.”

“It’s not like I have a sibling to share a nest with who I care about offending,” Sunbeam mused, rising to her paws as she followed Finchlight back to her nest.

“Really?” she asked. “An ul-arramew? You don’t very much act like one.”

“No, it’s not like that,” Sunbeam said. “I have two brothers in fact. But one of them took a SkyClan mate and the other was not very pleased. And so...”

“Oh,” Finchlight said. “I’m sorry I pried.”

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Sunbeam said. “What’s the courtship period for if not for meeting your soon-to-be mate?” The word she used there was empf for in their language there’s no distinction between one’s romantic partner and any other cat one share a nest with.

“Settle in,” Finchlight offered as she carved her space between alongside the other two cats, a golden tabby tom and a pale brown molly, who were already settled on their nest. “It should be enough for all four. We had it expanded for Nightheart forever ago but since he insists on being by his lonesome.”

“Hey,” Sunbeam greeted with a flick of her tail which the other cats responded to in kind. Though everyone in the nest was cozy and fit rather neatly the atmosphere didnt’ seem yet conducive for actually going to sleep. “So... Nightheart never mentioned any other empf other than her sister. When did you all start courting?”

Myrtlebloom and Bayshine went wide-eyed in surprise for a moment before clarity dawned on them and they gave an amused purr.

“We didn’t court,” Bayshine --the tom-- clarified. “We’ve just... kinda always shared a nest.”

“Pryyp?” Sunbeam piped up.

“Our wipfurrs” --that means mothers-- “were always close. And Sparkpelt had not been in the right mindset to nurse or take care of Finchy or Nighty towards their first moon or so. So they nursed with us and the habit of sharing a nest just kinda stuck.”

“Did he never tell you?” Finchlight asked.

“No, he didn’t,” Sunbeam said in surprise. “That’s lovely of her and lovely of you. When he spoke of ThunderClan he always stressed other things.”

“Typical,” Bayshine said with an eyeroll. “Such a complainer that Nightheart. There was once towards the beginning of our apprenticeship when he...”

The nest continued gossiping about their missing member until sleep overtook them. As she drifted off into sleep, with her head rested on the soft fur of her soon-to-be empf she began to give off a purr. There may be a piece of their nest missing but now she could work on loving and being loved by the rest of them.

[ancientgreekyuri]

hi hope !! i remember reading ur wonderful writing abt how asterius's feelings for dia developed, but what about theseus and dia ? how did they fall in love with each other, if i can ask ? (@dmclr)

Heehee thank you for the question ^.^ I have a fic in the works about this very thing but it'll definitely take me about a million billion years to finish 💔 I'll try to keep this brief though... knowing me it's gonna be so, so long.

— Some background... Theseus and Dia met when he was about 22 and she was about 20. Theseus at this time had already making a name for himself as a hero and adventurer, and was now trying to gain his father's recognition. His father Aegeus, who at the time was already an older man, did not recognize the sword and sandals he'd intentionally left behind for his son to one day claim. But Medea, Theseus' stepmother, did. If Theseus was recognized by his father, it'd mean her own son, Medus, no longer had claim to the throne!! So she sent Theseus on a test- he was to travel to northern Attica, and slay the Cretan Bull. This bull, created by Poseidon, was rampaging the fields of Marathon... and, coincidentally, this very bull happens to be Asterius' blood-father. That's a story for another time though!

— Dianthus at this time lived in Oenoe, which was very near Marathon. Outside of the bull issue, there was a terrible drought affecting Marathon and it's surrounding territories. Oenoe, however, remained fresh and green... this was a result of Dia's powers as a nymph. Some began to see Dia as a goddess due to this! ...However, the whole situation was very distressing for Dia herself. She hated being put on a pedestal, and she hated even more that she couldn't help the surrounding lands. She felt a lot of guilt and shame about i...

— Cue Theseus coming in 😱 he's there to deal with the bull problem! A beacon of hope! And not only that... he was a very interesting stranger. Theseus at the time was merely the prince of podunk nowhere (a mountain-side village called Troezen), but he was a prince all the same. There was a nobility to him, a strength Dia had never seen before... I wouldn't call it love at first sight per say, but it was certainly fascination at first sight. At first she merely peeked in at him (Theseus did Not enjoy this but she ran off whenever he noticed her 😭), but eventually they actually talked... and Dia realized she had an opportunity. She may not be able to end the drought, but(!) if she aided Theseus in slaying the Cretan Bull, she could at least do something for her community.

— The two of them initially began talking with this in mind... but of course... they began to get a bit distracted... Theseus found himself very interested in Dia. She was unlike anyone he'd met before, and he felt understood by her in a way he'd never felt with anyone else. And Dia loved how Theseus made her feel, how he would always praise her, and his genuine warmth. It was a youthful love between them, but it blossomed all the same... (Dia wasn't Theseus' first kiss, but Theseus was Dia's first kiss!). Eventually, he proposed to her 😱 after he was recognized as Athen's heir, he would return and make her his wife. Dia agreed.

— The day Theseus slew the bull came, and he succeeded with Dia's aid. He ended up riding on it's back all the way to the city of Athens before sacrificing it to the gods (Usually Apollo or Athena depending on the source you read, I haven't decided which I prefer)! And Dia would have waited for him...but a nobleman from the neighboring region of Boeotia expressed interested in Dia, and Theseus himself was sent to Crete's labyrinth soon after being recognized as the son of Aegeus. I haven't figured out what exactly happens with Dia after this point, but Theseus never sees her again while they both live.

— The two of them only meet again in the afterlife! You'd expect something momentous, but... the way it happened is a little silly. Theseus overhearing some of Elysium's other warriors talking about a half-nymph girl with a strangely masculine name who worked within Elysium's newly constructed library... and he was like HAHN!!!!!!! And rushed over almost right away 😭 even though it'd been many, MANY years... that initial connection between them never truly went away. Theseus re-proposed to Dia fairly early on as well 😭 impulsive, sure, but Dia just as impulsively accepted! Though Theseus had some things he wanted to do before holding any type of ceremony, and one of those things was finding Asterius again.

Evil funfact: Theseus abandoned Ariadne on Naxos for a variety of different complicated-yet-selfish reasons... one of the smaller reasons (but a reason nonetheless) is that he was still hung up on Dia.

[magnetarbeam]

I get that Spar is one of those characters that mostly exists because the writers took a bunch of retcons and scotch-taped them together, but I still think about him way too much.

Like, okay, so he inherited Jango's memories, and having those experiences to refer to gave him context about the way the clones were treated that none of the others would have until they were deployed and got to interact with the wider galaxy. He realized that they were slaves, and from his memories of Galidraan he was very convinced that the Jedi wouldn't care any more than the longnecks did. He got out while he could, because there was nothing else he could do.

And then he went around taking random mercenary work for a few years, and I'm imagining in that time he put a lot of effort into figuring out how to define himself as an independent person. Yeah, he's influenced by both the training he recieved on Kamino and the memories he inherited from Jango, but he's not Jango, and he's definitely not going to be a slave to the Republic and the Jedi like the others.

(Did he feel any level of connection to the other clones? Did he want to get any of the others out? Did he decide they wouldn't understand because they don't know the same things he knows?)

(I'm sure some of that is answered in the books I haven't read.)

Obviously by the time the war starts, he considers himself qualified enough to be the Mand'alor after Jango's death. He knows what the Mandalorian culture is all about, for equally obvious reasons, and it's easy to claim he's Jango's son because of the obvious resemblance, unless the average galactic citizen knows enough about the GAR to know that every clone trooper has that face. (Obviously the Republic propaganda wouldn't show their faces, but anyone who has been told who the template was would at least have reason to be suspicious in a case like this.)

Which leads me to the subject of his time as Mand'alor and his performance in the role. I know he decided to take up the role because of Jango's death, but I don't know if he decided that immediately after the First Battle of Geonosis. If he did, though...

I believe it's established that Spar's Mandalorian Protectors were formed in the image of Jaster and then Jango's True Mandalorians, who followed the traditional nomadic merc warrior lifestyle for themselves, but seem to have generally been content to coexist with the New Mandalorian civilian government and let them be recognized as the legitimate Mandalorian government by the rest of the galaxy. If Spar is trying to do something reasonably close to that, he would likely provide a banner that could be flocked to by the more reasonable traditionalists. You know, the kind of people who would have been True Mandalorians before Galidraan, but because of what happened there they decided to either stay out of things and just defend their families or tolerate Death Watch because they were the only traditionalist faction with any influence left, radical though they were.

As an Alpha ARC, Spar would be an extremely competent fighter in his own right, and I have no reason to believe he wouldn't pass that on in any training he did of the forces he had under his command as Mandalore the Resurrector.

Probably the most interesting part of this character to me, though, is how he relates to the Jedi. Again, he expects them to be no better than the Kaminoans because he remembers what happened on Galidraan, which I guess is why he eventually pledges his forces to the CIS. But we, as people familiar with the themes of TCW and whatnot, understand that he's wrong about that. The Jedi are pretty much the only people who care to understand the clones and recognize them as individuals who are worthy of care and rights and putting in effort to keep them alive. But Spar doesn't know that, because he left long before he could experience it, and all he has to base his judgements off of is what he already knows and Palpatine's propaganda.

I imagine stories about Spar would be pretty heavily circulated among the rest of the clones, although by the time the war starts those stories probably been twisted beyond recognition by all the links they've passed through since the events happened. I don't think it's much of a stretch that the vode at large would not have favorable opinions of him, except maybe ones in, like, the Coruscant Guard and Krell's unit. For most of the time, Spar is mostly just kind of a subject of idle conversation with little relevance to the daily lives of the clones. But after he places his forces under the Separatists, it suddenly becomes very personal.

The set of ideas I have about Spar that I think about the most, though - and some of this is where we get into canon divergence - revolve around how Maul's takeover of Mandalore and murder of Satine and Pre Vizsla leaves Spar as the immediate choice of leader for Mandalorians seeking to oppose Maul. This is a big part of how I imagine the Siege of Mandalore would have taken place in Legends, where it's Mandos of various motives under Spar's command who are taking the planet - and thus control of the system and sector - back from Maul, instead of a force from the Republic. If it is to fit within the context of him giving his forces over to the CIS and stuff, it would have to be a lot earlier than in Disney Canon, but as far as I know it might be possible to line it up in such a way that it still happens after Ahsoka leaves the Jedi.

Her point of relevance to this is that Spar is more than competent enough to understand that barring things like just bombing out Sundari - and causing collateral damage that he would want to avoid even if just for the sake of PR - he needs a Force-user on his side to stand half a chance against Maul. He hates the Jedi, but he can at least put up with Ahsoka because she left the Order. A couple of the former Death Watch people that now answer to Spar, including Bo-Katan, have personally seen Ahsoka in action, and they can vouch that she's probably the best chance they have.

And here's the part where I can't really imagine the progression of events sticking to canon, at least without yet another convoluted retcon: The dynamics between Ahsoka and Spar. The thing is, she experienced the war from the perspective of the Jedi, who also weren't given much of a choice when the Republic told them to lead the army. She got to know the clones under her command on a personal level, and she realizes how fucked up the treatment of them by everyone else is. If anything can make Spar not hate the Jedi, it's her. It also helps that she would know that the Jedi were acting on misinformation at Galidraan, although that doesn't completely absolve them of blame.

I have more to add to this barely coherent series of thoughts, but my attention span has dried up for the moment.

[semie78]

Hey do you have any good Code Lyoko fics that focus particularly on angst or the trauma the Lyoko Warriors went through? I've been trying to find some good ones, I saw you mention a fic where Yumi went to therapy and I was wondering if there were any more fics out there thay examine the trauma the warriors faced.

I'm a week late but hello~ I have a few recs but not all of them fit 100% on examining their trauma, you might have read these already but I hope you enjoy them! (and if anyone has anymore pls share!!! I haven't gotten a chance to read much lately)

Out of Time by That_G3_Obsessive

Dr Elaine Charpentier was well-respected in her field. As one of the best psychotherapists in the Paris area, she was no stranger to strange and difficult cases. However, when fifteen-year-old Yumi Ishiyama came into her office with reports of troubles at school, something seemed off about the girl. For starters, no one had been able to find out what exactly the problem was. Well, if there was one thing Elaine loved, it was a challenge. She was determined to figure out exactly what Yumi's problem was... Whatever the cost. This is the therapy fic that anon mention if anyone is curious it's so good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And So They Lived by Sheep_with_teeth

He was staring out the window at the rapidly darkening sky when his phone buzzed, and his heart jumped into his throat. Adrenaline shot through him and then drained away, leaving him flushed and dizzy. U kn com bk now. It didn’t say XANA. It never does anymore. Now all his phone screen ever tells him is: You are a normal teenager, Odd Della Robbia. We’re sorry for any inconvenience that war over the entire planet might have caused you. Please get back to your regularly scheduled programming of being a dork with roommate problems. Another message popped up on his screen, a real one: Buy twinkies. This one is more light hearted and more odd/sissi focus and I definitely need to reread this again<3

Goodbyes by amorekay

"Did you read my diary?" Odd stills, and then turns his head toward Ulrich, frowning. "Yes," he admits, hesitantly, after a beat. A short but good one~ man I miss kay's fics <3 def check her other works too

You might need me more than you think you will. by amorekay

If Sissi's noticed that Aelita's nightmares have gotten worse steadily over the past week as she looks paler and paler in class, she's not going to admit anything.

Solace by dame_de_la_chance

Odd has been avoiding Jeremie for some time now, and Jeremie attempts to get to the bottom of his strange behavior. This fic man!!!! I love fics like these and even tho this fic doesn't mention it, if you like the garage kids plot with powers on earth chance has some other fics you can read like that!!

Old Habits Die Hard by BewitchingNotes

Everyone's having trouble grasping the fact that they aren't the Lyoko Warriors anymore. Sissi knocks Aelita down during gym and finds herself being kicked to the ground by Odd.

List by lunesolei

Here-in lies the twenty-five things Ulrich is unlikely to mention. Here-in lie the twenty-five things Yumi keeps quiet about. Here-in reside the twenty-five things Jeremie doesn't really disclose. Hear ye, hear ye, here-in are the 25 things Odd doesn't really bring up. THIS SERIES MAN IT'S SO AMAZING DEF ONE OF MY TOP CL FIC RECS I DONT KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN IT, EACH STORY HAS SUCH A GOOD FOCUS ON THE CHARACTERS AND IT JUST GIVES YOU A WHIPLASH OF EMOTIONS. It's currently on odd's chapter which has 5 chapters left then aelita is next, but yeah I really like this one everyone should check it out.

Saturday Morning Cartoons by YoshiStack

Their fight is over, but sometimes old habits still die hard. At least it'll make a great story one day down the line. Yoshi's fics >>>>> def read their other works!

Celui qui n’avance pas, recule by quiter10

Odd organizes a videogame tournament, Sissi gives the okay, and Jeremie reflects on the past, present and future—because whether he likes it or not, life goes on. Really great read love all the little details put in!

15 by YoshiStack

Kiwi has been a very good boy for a long time. He'll be 15 in June. I apologize this one is just pain B')

That's What Friends Are For by YoshiStack

In the aftermath of the Franz Hopper incident, the others realize they never got a chance to properly celebrate his birthday. Jeremy has feelings about it. And he's bad at feelings. kids being kids with a mix of pain my favorite B')

[princesscolumbia]

Smokin' Hot

Was having an absolutely miserable night last night, so even though I was not planning on posting this one until Monday, I felt like I needed a win so I finished it up early and shot it off into the universe. I'll be posting the next chapter of Double Isekai tomorrow, so stay tuned.

Oh, and if you haven't read the two previous stories in this series (don't worry, they're one-shots), here's the links:

The Joketsuzokunichuaan Saga

Description:

What if there was a "Spring of Drowned Warrior Woman?" And what if the Amazon tribeswomen were obligate impression procreators instead of just having a silly law about marrying outsider men who managed to defeat them?

Notes:

And, most importantly, what if you could write such a series without it being squicky 'bad end' fetish porn?

Like a Cat in Heat

Dragon's Lair

Summary:

Kasumi doesn't want to remember

Notes:

This one is...different from the other two entries in this series. If you know me at all, except for certain themes (Celestia is always Sunset's mom somehow, Ranma is always at least NB, if not transfemme, context is king, etc.) I don't like repeating things. Considering I already "repeated" Ranma's curse with Herb for "Dragon's Lair," I didn't want to give someone in the Phoenix tribe a Joketsuzokuniichuan curse and call it a day. A good part of this fic's story and structure can be laid at the feet of Tamsyn Muir and the way she told an absolutely batshit insane, totally off the wall, MAGNIFICENTLY managed Harrow the Ninth. If you haven't read The Locked Tomb yet, you won't have any idea what I'm talking about. If you have, you'll see exactly what I mean fairly quickly.

Preview below the cut:

"This," said Ku Lon to the gathered Saotome-Tendo families, "Is Plum. Yes, like the fruit. Her family have been serving as guides for Jusenkyo for as long as records of the springs have been kept. She took over from her father a couple of years ago and has been doing a far sight better a job than he did...and she's also exceptionally brave."

"Plum not know who to trust. Just know Ku Lon and Xian Pu good to Plum when mother die. So Plum come here when Jusenkyo start to dry up."

Kasumi fidgeted as surreptitiously as she could under the restaurant table. She knew she didn't really have a place at these discussions. She wasn't a martial artist, she wasn't bonded to or wed to one of the Joketsuzoku, and she didn't have any dragon blood in her family line. She was here because she was the 'matriarch,' for whatever that title was worth, of the Tendo family and so honor demanded she attend. She at least had the reassuring company of Hiroshi and Daisuke seated with her at the same table, today wearing some rather silly maid costumes in their female forms. The three of them had bonded over the fact that they had the least ability to do anything for anyone in this rarified atmosphere of condensed power and martial skill.

"Wait, the springs're drying up?" Ranma gaped, "Aint they been around for, like, thousands of years?"

Plum nodded, "Springs guarded by Joketsuzoku, kept clean by Musk, and fed by spring in Mount Phoenix. Three tribes, three legs of stool, is balancing act."

Ku Lon spoke up when confused looks spread through the non-natives to the Juusendo region, "While we don't have records of the origin of Jusenkyo, the legends of our peoples tell of the Amazons, the Musk, and the Phoenix working together in a sort of...mutually assured destruction peace treaty. The Musk would master the springs themselves, the Phoenix keeping the source of the springs safe, and the Joketsuzoku keeping the outside world from discovering the secrets of the springs. And in the middle of it all," she pointed with her cane to Plum, "The guides, only there to observe and to keep wandering visitors safe and direct them to the Joketsuzoku."

"Four months ago we got word of some serious troop movements among the Musk," Nabiki almost unconsciously put her hand on Jian's knee with a gentle squeeze, "They were positioning units in concerning ways, but once it was clear that the Joketsuzoku weren't the target, Ku Lon and I decided to take a 'wait and see' approach. We expected that if this was unprovoked Musk aggression, then the Phoenix Tribe would send someone to the Joketsuzoku to ask for help, part of the balance of power in the region. But instead...?"

"We got silence," interjected Ku Lon. "We, that is, the village sent emissaries, but they were turned away before they even got to the foot of the mountain. We then sent peace envoys to the Musk to see if they were acting on some sort of aggression from the Phoenix people, but our warriors were attacked without provocation. Fortunately, no loss of life, or else this would be a drastically different kind of meeting."

The Elder Emeritus sighed and sipped at her tea, "At least we have an idea why the Musk reacted now, if the Phoenix are interfering with the flow of the water from Juusendo, then the Musk, who use the springs regularly for their...barbaric purposes, would have noticed first. Why they didn't come to us..."

"Because my father is a fool," snapped Jianren. "He believes that men, and specifically the Beast Warriors of the Musk, are all that anyone needs for true power. He will see this as a personal attack against him, specifically, and everyone else is complicit in the crimes he imagines are being committed against him."

"Idiotic old lizard," grumbled Ku Lon, "What is more distressing is the news that the Kaisufuu has been found." At the expected blank looks, she explained, "There are two artifacts that were created to work in tandem with the Springs of Jusenkyo. The Chiisuiton, or Locking Ladle, and the Kaisufuu, or Pot of Liberation. When a silly young prince," Ku Lon nudged Jianren gently with the head of her staff, "So foolishly thought the best way to acclimate himself to the sight of a naked woman was to use his people's traditions to make a mistress of a monkey," Jian had turned beet red and was clasping her free hand over her eyes, her other hand held by an impishly smiling Nabiki, "He, now she, fell victim to the Locking Ladle, which was then lost when Ha Bu fled rather than deal with the ongoing shame of being a princess in a land where women were considered to be barely above animals."

"Legend said that the two artifacts will point the way to each other," Jian interjected, "I thought to take the ladle and pail with me to find the kettle, but then I was ambushed by some highwaymen in the deep backwoods of China. I overpowered them, but the pail and ladle were lost in the battle. That...that was the moment I swore off my birth name and became Jianren."

Kasumi watched as Nabiki leaned into her wife and the two cuddled for a bit. To her left, Hiroshi and Daisuke looked on as well, satisfied smiles like book-ends on their faces.

"Given the kettle was lost centuries ago," continued Ku Lon when it became clear that Jian wasn't going to say anything further, "It is only reasonable to conclude that the pail and ladle were recovered somehow and then used to track down the Kaisufuu. If only one artifact was the possession of either the Phoenix or the Musk, it would be bad. But given the Musk have been behaving defensively and the Phoenix have halted the flow of the springs, we have to assume that the Phoenix tribe has both artifacts and are preparing to use them for some reason we cannot know without more information."

The more experienced warriors, politicians, and martial artists began speculating, though it was clear they were going to be talking in circles. Kasumi looked over to the other two girls at the table and reached out, clasping Hiroshi's hand, "You don't have to do it, you know."

They both turned to her with confusion etched on their faces. In a bit of the puckish karmic humor Jusenkyo was known for among those who studied the magics of the springs, where Daisuke had the more common dark black hair of most Japanese men and Hiroshi had lighter, shaggier brown, almost blond hair as a man, as women their hair colors were nearly exactly reversed, though Daisuke's girl-form hair was closer to dirty blond than light brown. They had similar builds to each other, which had led to some interesting clothing swaps on occasion. Of course, they both had a masculine sense of feminine modesty, which is to say nearly non-existent, a fact for which Nabiki and Jianren had taken shameless advantage of over the years.

"What're you talking about, Kas-chan?" asked Daisuke innocently.

Kasumi just swept Hiroshi's hand into a two-handed grip and bore into the part-time woman's eyes with her own, "You know Jian is capable of taking care of herself, even against her father. Please, you know how much it will hurt Jianren, and Daisuke and Nabiki will be heartbroken."

The two boys-turned-girls looked at each other with sad, defeated expressions. "C'mon, Kas-chan," drolled Hiroshi as she turned to the older woman, "You know that's not how this conversation went."

(Read the whole thing on AO3)

[xiv-wolfram]

Far From Free - Comic Script

Endwalker - lvl 85

Wolfram almost turns into a blasphemy and then does the healer role quest. (It starts out Rough but this is a happy one.)

CW: Alcoholism, Mental Health, PTSD, mention of past suicide attempt, hand-holding

Wolfram Saga Comics (Chronological)

This is the script for a future comic. Posting for those who don’t want to wait to get the story. Numbers indicate frame number. A/B mean a frame is split.

Part 1

Night shot of Ala Mhigan palace. Narrator - "You’ll want to have read at least all the other EW comics before this one for context. Wolfram has been working with the Scions to address the Final Days. After fighting Blasphemies in Vanaspati and Radz-at-Han he received a summons from Ala Mhigo stating that they needed help with a powerful Blasphemy there. He arrives and goes straight to Raubahn's quarters. The last time they saw each other, Wolf had just discovered he was no longer possessed by the voidsent. He had an emotional reaction to the news as well as many questions that would have to remain unanswered as the world needed him. Also relevant - Raubhan basically started the Eorzean equivalent of a support group for his fellow Ala Mhigan soldiers during Shadowbringers after seeing how many of them had similar struggles to his own. Wolf doesn’t know about it."

Wolf enters Rau's condo in Ala Mhigo. Straight face. Rau greets him at the door.

Wolf smiles, looking exhausted - "Hello Commander Aldynn. I came as soon as I could - You have a blasphemy you need help with?"

Rau grins - "Why thank you for accepting my request - Wolfram Vought, Champion of Eorzea and Warrior of Light. Oh and… I believe you’re a Flame Sergeant now? My apologies. I should have checked with my son before your arrival."

Rau laughs. Wolf, confused. Thought - 'Of course I immediately make an arse of myself…I'm so tired…'

A) Rau smiles warmly - "Hells Wolf - I just wanted an excuse to speak with you and figured help with the blasphemy was an added boon." B) Wolf embarrassed - "I'm sorry Rau. I'm ashamed of my recent behavior with you. I thought formality would make this easier."

Rau smiles and pats Wolf's shoulder in a reassuring gesture - "Don't worry about formality. You have nothing to be ashamed of. However, there is something I need to discuss with you." Thought - 'He's already so tense. Looks like he hasn't slept in days…Is this a bad idea?'

Rau gestures to an armchair, concerned - "This will be difficult to hear, but I believe you need to in order to move on. Please come in and take a seat." Thought - 'Now more than ever…what he's going through is dangerous. I have to tell him. I hope it helps more than hurts.'

A) Wolf, sitting down, worried - "Alright then. What is it?" B) Rau sitting down, looking at Wolf with a thoughtful expression - "After you left Garlemald I had many questions on the nature of voidsent. I wondered how it could just be...gone. After twenty years."

Wolf nods, looking tired - "I wondered the same, but haven't had the time to properly question the "how" of it all. I can hardly believe it’s gone… and would it be able to come back somehow? Am I *truly free*? I’m trying to focus on my duty but it’s been weighing on my mind."

A) Rau smiles sadly - "I thought you may have that concern… I have a theory. If you would like to hear it? It's horrible, but it makes sense. …is this something you feel up to talking about right now?" B) Wolf curious - "I've had a world's worth of horrible lately. Why not a little more?"

Rau worried, gestures to a bottle of wine on the small table between the armchairs - "Well it's... Why don't you have a drink while I explain?" Wolf eyebrow raise - "No thank you. Go on." Thought - 'Maybe I should…suppose it's there if I need it.'

Rau nods and continues - "After I returned to Ala Mhigo I had a contact in Ul'dah speak with some …unsavory people. A guild that knows much about voidsent. The summoning rituals and pacts between mortals. They also spoke with members of the thaumaturge's guild who had successfully banished one from another member."

Wolf slightly annoyed, eyes closed, hand in head - “I wasn't idle all these years. I went in search of a way to rid myself of it. I never told anyone my story directly of course. Every banishment ritual I found puts the caster in just as much danger as the person possessed.”

Wolf looks worried - " I could not risk another's life just so that I may be free of my burden."

A) Rau nods - “Well - I sought my own answers and came to the same conclusion.” B) Rau smiles sadly - “Which was that if the hellhound bound within you was banished it would be no small thing. You would have known. Which leaves only one conclusion.”

A) Wolf furrows his brow. B) Ru apologetic face - "That it did not reside within you." 

A) Wolf shocked and angry B) Wolf stands up, yelling - “ NOT THERE?!?! THEN WHAT THE HELLS HAPPENED TO MY VILLAGE?” Rau getting out of chair, worried.

A) Rau stands up, worried /deny - “No! I only meant - “ B) Wolf raging - “WHOSE BLOOD WAS I COVERED WITH?! WHOSE BODIES DID I BURN?! WHOSE -”

A) Rau gets close and covers Wolf's mouth with his hand - "Pray, calm yourself - lest you confess your crimes to all of Ala Mhigo. I know the possession was real. I meant after the deed was done." B) Wolf confused face

A) Rau takes his hand away. Wolf calm but confused "... What do you mean?" B) Rau smiles apologetically, resting his hand on Wolf’s shoulder - “What do you remember? Exactly. “

Wolf looks sad, looking down, eyes tearing up - “Well… I summoned the hound. It took over before I could even communicate with it. Killed the Garleans, villagers, and then my family. Almost like it was saving them for last. My grandmother was able to suppress it before she died, but told me it was there, dormant, and that I must have strong willpower and control my emotions to keep it contained. I went to the falls to jump. Stood there for what felt like hours, but I couldn't do it. I went back to the village for some supplies and my parents’ rings. Then set everything to torch before fleeing to Gridania.”

Rau smiles sadly, caressing the side of Wolf’s face - "I'm sorry to make you relive it, but I need specifics." Thought - "So those were his parents rings I packed up after we ended things…" Wolf looking at him sadly, more tears in his eyes.

Wolf looks away, miserable expression, light tears falling. Thought - ‘It’s been so long since I’ve talked about this…’ Says - “I remember bits and pieces. Sometimes I was in my body - watching through my eyes, but with no control. At other moments I was somewhere else... A dark place. I remember -" 

Wolf’s head bent down, weeping, covering his mouth. Rau worried, puts arm on Wolf’s back - “Pray continue. I'm so sorry but I need you to go on.” Thought - ‘Thrice damn me for making him go through this again.’

Tumblr mandated break.

Wolf closes his eyes, face streaked with tears - "I remember tearing my parents apart… Claws shredding them to pieces... There was blood and viscera everywhere. I only knew their bodies afterwards by their wedding rings.”

Rau holds him, worried - “That must have been awful." Wolf resting the side of his head against Rau’s chest, crying with a haunted look - “It was... Hungry... So hungry. And *happy*. The thing was *happy*. …*I was happy*?”

A) Rau looks sad, light tears in his eyes. - “That wasn't you, Pup. It was a monster using you. B) Wolf buries his head in Rau’s chest *muffled* - “It was so hard to tell where I stopped and it began.”

Rau holding him close, protectively - “and next?” Wolf *muffled* - “I don't remember. I was in the dark place again. The only thing I’m grateful for that night was not seeing whatever it did to Ana and Klaus.” Rau thought - ‘Why would it spare him that? …after the joy it felt showing him what it did to his parents?’

Wolf moves away, looking at Rau sadly with tears in his eyes - “and then... I was back. My mind had control once more. I was on the road just outside of town on my back staring up at the stars. My grandmother was a few feet from me, her small broken body barely clinging to life.  I rushed to her. She whispered her warning to me and passed. There was…anger in her eyes. She looked at me with a hatred I’d never seen from her before save for the few times she’d spoken of her parents.”

A) Wolf crying, looking at Rau with a pleading expression - “Was that enough?” B) Rau smiles sadly - “I believe so. Your account supports my theory.”

Rau takes Wolf’s hand, frowning with worry and guilt - “Wolfram… I’m convinced your grandmother banished the voidsent. That act was what killed her.”

Wolf furrows his brow and looks away with a lost expression - “You mean she… lied to me? …about all of it?” Raubahn nods and smiles apologetically - “Aye, exactly that.”

Wolf falls back into the chair, bent over, looking at the ground. Confused - “Why? Why would she -”

Wolf looks up at Rau in horror - “- she thought I would do it again! She thought I was so weak and selfish that I would be consumed by the hunger for power. As our ancestors had been.” 

Rau steps forward and puts his hand on Wolf’s back comfortingly. Wolf doubles over, head in his hands. - “Everything… everything I’ve done. …Everything I *haven’t done*. Everything I’ve given up. …It was all because of a *lie*. A lie she felt she told to protect others from *me*. She… she saw what I really am… she saw the monster.”

Rau crouches down, worried - “Wolf, it was horrible what you did, but she judged you incorrectly. You have done great things. Helped so many people. You are no monster.”

Wolf starts having the blasphemy aura, lost expression - “Why didn’t she kill me? She was powerful. She could have been rid of me and the hellhound both. Why didn’t she kill me?! She should have killed me!”

A) Rau shocked. B) Rau worried, kneeling down in front of Wolf, hand on his arm. Thought - 'Dammit! I didn't think! We should have dealt with the blasphemy before I told him! I’m such a fool!’

Rau pulls Wolf’s arms down away from his face with his forearm. Thought ‘…Maybe it will work for this too?' 

Rau holds Wolf’s chin to make him look him in the eyes - "Wolf - please hear me. Look into my eyes. Focus on my voice. She was wrong! She didn’t understand the kind of man you are. What you did sprung not only from revenge or a hunger for power, but from a desire to protect your loved ones. She made assumptions based on her own past. You are a good man and this world *needs* you. *I need you.*”

Rau still holding his chin, eyes tearing up but he’s putting on a smile for Wolf - “I know it doesn’t feel this way right now, but this is a *good* thing. Her lie prevented you from the life you wanted…the life we wanted. Yet now that you know the truth you can finally decide what you want for yourself. I love you with my whole heart. I'll be here for you through anything. No matter what form our bond takes. I'm sorry for my behavior lately. This is too important to throw away as I did - especially when you were simply trying to protect me. Even if all you desire of me is friendship - you shall have it.”

Wolf’s aura starting to fade. Rau smiles encouragingly - “You are loved by so many others as well. Where would the Scions be without you? How many times have you aided them? Made them laugh? Saved them from certain death? Hells, cooked them dinner? They are your family. It would devastate each and every one of them to lose you. You have so much to stay around for. Do not let this despair consume you."

The aura fades from Wolf and he puts his arms around Rau. Wolf crying and resting his forehead against Rau’s, eyes closed. Rau smiles, arm around Wolf - “You’ll be alright. Everything will be alright.” Wolf sobs. - “Th-Thank you…thank you…” Thought - ‘That was… far too close.’

Camera zoomed out. Wolf sobbing - “thank you…thank you...”

Part 2

Some time later. They’re sitting back in the chairs conversing. Wolf confused - ‘ - yet one thing I don't understand… I've literally woken up and watched my hands become claws. Seen them covered in blood.”

Rau ponders - "Well…the mind is a powerful thing. I’ve had nightmares where I wake up and see things for a moment as if the dream isn’t quite over. Hells, I even feel my arm sometimes." Wolf looks worried  - “You’re saying that it was all in my head?!” Thought - ‘So I *am* mad… if anyone knew…would they still trust me to save this star?’

A) Rau smiles warmly - “...Yes, but there is nothing to be ashamed of. When people see terrible things, sometimes those things have a way of staying around.” B) Wolf - “So…my episodes where I can’t breathe and my heart races haven’t been a hellhound trying to rip itself out through my chest but were - what? A reaction to being reminded of my possession and the death of my family?” Thought - ‘I’ve never seen him so comfortable talking about this kind of thing before. …something has changed with him.’

A) Rau smiles calmly - “Aye, very possibly. I’ve met some other people with a similar condition recently. I should have realized the similarities with your episodes. There were so many little signs… even back when we were together. Not just the nightmares or the times you went into a panic. Like how sometimes the smell of roasting meat made you ill. Or that day at the market - where a child was screaming because his mother wouldn’t get him a sweet and you covered your ears as if you were in pain.” B) Rau smiles sadly - “There was a lot that I didn’t notice those days. Perhaps I didn’t want to notice… because then I would have had to acknowledge my own struggles. I’m so sorry for not being who you needed back then.” Thought - ‘It’s likely not the right time to mention that I am that person now…’

A) Wolf surprised - “Gods that…that does make me see things in a new light. It’s more rare now, but it still happens. When I was trying to save this village in Thavnair from Blasphemies - as I ran through there were so many bodies burning. The stench was unbearable. Once the fighting was over I actually stopped to vomit. Got out of there as fast as I could.” B) Wolf ponders - “So this is …wounds that don’t heal properly… yet in the mind? Like a scar on the soul?”

Rau smiles sadly - “Aye, well put. With the proper care, I believe our scars can heal in time. In fact… There is a group of former resistance members here who have these struggles, among others. Occasionally we meet and check in with each other. If you would like to join us sometime we’d be happy to have you. They are sworn to secrecy as some of them have also committed crimes - yet even then you need not divulge more than you are comfortable with.”

Wolf surprised - “This helps them? Talking to each other has lessened their struggles?” Thought - ‘I suppose this explains the change in him…’

Rau beams - “Aye, those I spoke to said that the frequency of their episodes reduced as well as their nightmares. Of course it is not my place to suggest what you do but… I simply wanted you to know that you’re not alone.”

Wolf smiles sadly - “Please give no thought to “your place” when it comes to me. It hurt to hear everything tonight, but there is also a sort of peace in knowing the truth no matter how painful. You’ve given me a lot to think about Rau…Thank you.” 

They stand and hug (friendly). Wolf thought - ‘It's amazing how supportive he is.... I don’t deserve such kindness…’

Wolf pulls back a bit and looks at Rau, tearing up. - “I'm so very sorry for everything. If only I had known all of this earlier. Things would have been different. …I think both our lives would… look different …perhaps.”

Rau smiles sadly, thought - ‘Alright Raubahn Aldynn, whatever you do - *do not* kiss him right now.’

Rau steps back, smiling - “There is nothing for you to apologize to me for. You were deceived. Now you know and can move forward with that knowledge. Doing what you feel is right for you. I will always be your friend and support you however I can.”

Wolf smiles awkwardly, hand to head, looking at the window - “Well, would you mind supporting me tonight by letting me sleep here? I bet that window seat would be cozy with a few blankets. I'm scared to be by myself after what just happened. I'm meant to save the world from those things, not become one myself. We can find and destroy it first thing tomorrow. ”

Rau smiles - “Of course my friend, you're welcome here. Indeed the window seat is good for a nap, but the bed is more comfortable. You take it. I daresay you need a good night's rest after everything.”

Wolf blushes lightly - “Well you know, it does look quite large. I don’t see any harm in sharing… if you’re alright with that?”

Rau smiles awkwardly - “Aye, no harm at all. I'm alright with anything you want…anything at all.” Thought - '”Anything”! Seven hells all he needs is for me to stop coming on to him!'

They’re in bed laying *VERY* far apart facing away from each other. Wolf smiling, eyes closed - “Thank you again, for everything. Goodnight my friend.” Thought - 'He truly is the best person I know…' Rau smiling, eyes closed - "Goodnight, Wolf.“

The next morning, Wolf is spooning Rau. Rau holds Wolf’s hand to his chest.

Wolf’s eyes closed. Rau smiles. Thought - ‘Suppose there's no harm in pretending to be asleep until he realizes what he’s doing…’

Rau’s eyes closed. Wolf opens his eyes, smiling at Rau in front of him. Thought - ‘He looks so peaceful… would be rude of me to move and disturb him…’

Part 3

Zoomed out shot. Wolf and Rau walking around the market in Uldah.

Rau looking around, worried - “Gods...why did she choose now of all times to run off? What if she's been abducted, or run afoul of a beast?” Thought - ‘Could she be in one of these pots?!’

They stop in the alley between the Sapphire exchange and Pearl Lane. Wolf puts a hand on Rau’s shoulder, winks and smiles - “Worry not. If my favorite little sister Alisae was missing I’d be upset too, but we’ll find Liara.” Thought - ‘Not that I’d call her that to her face…she’d either blush or punch me.’

A) Rau smiles awkwardly - "You're right, I know, but it's hard not to worry. Wolf.. May I ask you something a bit odd?" B) Wolf raises an eyebrow, confused - "Go ahead."

A) Rau ponders comically - "When you speak of your found family - the Scions…why do you think of yourself as an older brother?" B) Wolf confused - "What do you mean?"

Rau smiles awkwardly - "Pup she's 16. You're old enough to be her father. And you certainly act like it. So…why do you see yourself as a brother?" Wolf surprised, blushing - "Oh…gods you're right! Why do I do that?!" 

Rau /deny - "I'm sorry, forget I mentioned it. It's nice that you're young at heart. I'm just an old man who doesn't understand."

Wolf grins and points threateningly at Rau - "I've warned you before to stop calling yourself old. We're practically the same age. So I'm happy to kick your geriatric ass if you don't speak kindly about yourself."

A) Rau grins flirtatiously - "Of all the things you could do to it, that's what you'd choose?" B) Wolf turns red, looking away - "I um… I didn't. I mean. I um, no you des-" Thought - '!?!?!'

Wolf standing, arms crossed, looking in the opposite direction and blushing. Rau grinning - "Oh calm down I'm just teasing you. Bit if a distraction from the Sultana situation." Thought - ‘Ah, the rare flustered Wolfram. I’d enjoy this much more were I not concerned for Nanamo.’

Wolf still blushing with eyes averted but smiling - "Oh. Ok then…Come on, let's keep searching." Holds out his hand to Rau. 

A & B) (close camera, big focus on the lewdness) Rau takes his hand. 

They keep walking while holding hands, passing the spot where they had their first kiss 15 years ago. Rau thought - 'This is nice…although I hope he's not feeling pressured. I need to give him room to process everything that's happened and focus on his duty to our star…Aye, but a little hand holding is innocent enough.'

Wolf smiling but internally freaking out. (Indicate with *?!?!?!* light text around him) Thought - 'Why did I do that?! It was almost instinctual! I haven't decided anything…I still don't deserve someone like him. The manner is different than I'd thought but I'm no less broken. Is this leading him on? Am I simply comforting my friend?! Damnit what am I doing?!'

Rau beaming. Thought - 'Clearly he's still interested in me… but will he admit it to himself? He overthinks everything…After he saves the world I may need to do some convincing.'

Wolfram Saga Comics (Chronological)

[squigglywindy]

Squiggles Ranks the Chain

It's time to rank the chain.

I don't know why I did this. I really don't. It was hard. I love them all. And my favorites in general don't align with my favorites to write and this list is changing every day but here it is anyway. I've told a few people I was going to do this eventually, so here it is. The List. Go ahead, come at me. But do so understanding that I love them all dearly. But, I love some just a little bit more than others. Or, at least, relate to them and rotate them in my mind with more frequency.

Proceed at your own risk

@triforce-of-mischief @silvercaptain24

9: Time. Oh, Time. My guy. The old man. The tired Old Guy surrounded by youngin's. I relate to him in my soul. I love him, I want to hug him, I wish him all good things al the time. I love his dynamic with The Boys, his entire thing with Malon, all of it. But somebody had to be last. And at the end of the day, it's Time. Although my least favorite Link still occupies a bigger piece of my mind than any other fictional character ever, so there's that.

8: Twilight. Twi. My Brother In Y'all. My lil country wolf boy who I love so much. I wanted to put him higher; it was a struggle. Maybe it's because he's been dying for a year and we haven't gotten as much content to love him for; I dunno. Either way, somebody had to be number eight. I'm sorry my lovely Wolfie.

7: Legend. What a legend. (Hah, couldn't resist). I hated him for a long time. Yes, I was projecting my frustration with ALttP onto the poor guy, but still. I was stuck in the game when I started reading still am but that's not the point, and then there he was. And I was just 'ah no. It's him'. And then he seemed like a jerk, and I was just like: 'figures'. And then??? Whoooo boy this guy can fit so much character development into him! He's so sweet. He's so soft. He took me out in Sunset 13 with his lil face.

6: Hyrule. The fluffy lil dude. He's like a human puppy he's stinkin' adorable. He's my Swiss Army Knife when I'm writing; my guy has a tool for every occasion. He's just so soft and sweet and has magic hands??? Very cool. I don't have a lot of coherent thoughts to say about him but I love him very much.

5: Wild. Ah, Wild. The man I thought would be my blorbo. BotW has my heart, and naturally, I thought he would do. And he does! He's a little chaos gremlin. He's also Dramatic and I love him for that. I have so much fun writing him because literally anything goes and somebody out there will be like 'yeah. Classic Wild'. What can I say that hasn't already been said about this controversial lil guy everyone seems to either love or hate? What a maniac. Respect.

4: Warriors. I didn't have a whole lot of feelings about him before I started writing, ngl. Hadn't played HW, didn't really know who he was, all that jazz. And then I started digging in and oh my gosh I can't go two stories without beating him up I love him so much. He's my go-to projectee. I love to hurt him and look at him and I love the dynamic he has with everyone. He is Very Cool.

3: Four. He's just the whole package. A nice lil mashup of someone who has never done anything wrong in his life ever, and someone who has definitely killed someone with his bare hands. Not to mention he is Smol. Like lookit him it's almost like he could be a backpack (shamelessly references my own absolutely unhinged story). And? And??? He's chronically miserable I just wanna give him a hug.

2: Sky. I just love him. He's sweet, he's squishy, and he's just so darn relatable. Standing there. Left in the dust, because running is hard. Just chillin', watching the world pass by from whatever random spot he's chosen to exist in. It's like looking in a mirror. He just loves his brothers and wants them to be okay and he's just wonderful.

1: Wind. I know many of you probably didn't see this coming. I hope you braced yourselves for the surprise. Number one, Blorbo Prime, my number one scrunkle, The Windy Boy. Where to even start? He's just an absolute terror, hacking up the bad guys with the big boys. And his lil face? It's so smooshable. He is babey and menace all wrapped up in one. The child that I wrap safely in my trench coat until it's time to torture him again. He lives on a pottery wheel in my mind, spinning around at unimaginable speeds. The blorbo ever.



[skyllion-uwu]

you're in a damian mood so damian

DAMIAN MY FRIEND AND BESTIE

favorite thing about them

He's very sassy and neurodivergent

least favorite thing about them

This is about Wayne Family Adventures in particular since I haven't read any main comics about him yet but he's a 9 year old and somehow able to perfectly articulate his feelings?? Unrealistic, he needs to get angrier often and just be angry

favorite line

"My teacher said I should try to make more friends at school. Apparently, the other students find me intimidating, which is absurd. I'm delightful." (He says while attacking a training dummy with a sword)

brOTP

Jason and Damian!! They have a lot in common and I think they're my favorite brother bond in the Batfamily

OTP

None, your honor, he's aroace

nOTP

I don't really know any ships with him, but like I said, he's aroace so none of them would vibe with me

random headcanon

Did I mention he's aroace? /j Okay that doesn't count because I already said it. He's a HUGE Warriors fan and drawing and writing stories about his OCs. The OCs are parallels to him and the people in his life. The fics are also parallels to his life. His cat self is named Robinpaw and his story is his mom (Dewclaw) had him with Batstar, the leader of a different clan (which is a big taboo). He started his apprenticeship too young and Dewclaw didn't want him to die, so she took him to Batstar's clan and asked him to raise him instead. Since then, Robinpaw has reached six moons and works hard to one day be the best warrior ever

unpopular opinion

Uhh can't think of one. Come back to me later

song i associate with them

We were just talking about this earlier but yeah he heard this in an AMV and his life was changed forever

favorite picture of them

Could not decide between these two

[mygeekcorner]

Book Ask game:

8, 20, 32, 44, 48, 54, 133, 135

8 a book you finished in one sitting

Crown of Wishes by Roshani Chokshi, I think I devoured it in like 10 hours. Got a wicked sunburn but I couldn't put it down. It's the (mostly) stand-alone sequel to The Star-Touched Queen following her younger sister and her adventures as she ends up in the underworld. It has a much faster pace but just as beautiful writing and I'm very grateful to @imaginarydragonling for buying it for me when the library took to long to get it here <3

20 a book that got you out of a reading slump

The Dark Days Club by Alison Goodman kicked me out of my novel paralysis when I finally picked it up after having left it on my shelf for like a year. Don't judge me, we all do it. But it was so easygoing and full of life and joy for the world of demons and corseted demon fighting they were telling us about and I think I read the first two in like a week and was then bouncing off the walls waiting for the last one to be released so I could know if my theories were correct. (They were, it's YA not rocket science. But that's still rewarding too)

32 your favourite nonfiction novel

Prins Solsken (Prince Sunlight) by Ebba L Levenhaupt, it's the published diary of Sophie von Fersen from when she was 17 to about 19, documenting her romance with Prince Fredrik Adolf. My grandmother had it and I would always read it when I came over so when I was in like 8th grade she gave it to me and I still think about certain diary entries from time to time

44 your favourite fantasy novel

Fuck this is so much harder than the next question since that's like 98% of the stuff I read, the selection pool is way too big lol. Since a certain boy wizards memory got tainted I don't have any one book that I'm quite as .. obsessed with .. so I'll just take something I really really enjoyed reading and haven't already talked about in this ask game. I really liked The Belgariad Series by David Eddings when I was growing up. I haven't actually read it in years now so I'm sorry for not going on as long a rant as it deserves, but I have a huge fondness for Garion and his Aunt Pol and one of these days I really should pick them up again.

48 your favourite sci-fi novel

I haven't read much sci-fi but I really did enjoy Neuromancer by William Gibson. My old DM lent it to me when we were going to start playing Neotech to get me in the right headspace for space adventures. Not really a genre I pick for myself but it's not bad, just something I'm unused to so it takes more brain-power to get what's happening than in fantasy where I'm more familiar with the tropes going on.

54 a book with the best opening line

Ok so like it's not the opening-opening line. But it's the last line of the prologue so I'm still saying it counts since it's how the story starts. It's from Elantris by Brandon Sanderson and it goes

Elantris was beautiful, once. It was called the city of the gods: a place of power, radiance and magic. Visitors say that the very stones glowed with an inner light, and that the city contained wondrous arcane marvels. At night, Elantris shone like a great silvery fire, visible even from a great distance. Yet, as magnificent as Elantris was, its inhabitants were more so. Their hair a brilliant white, their skin an almost metallic silver, the Elantrians seemed to shine like the city itself. Legends claim that they were immortal, or at least nearly so. Their bodies healed quickly, and they were blessed with great strength, insight, and speed. They could perform magics with a bare wave of the hand; men visited Elantris from all across Opelon to recieve Elantrian healings, food, or wisdom. They were divinities. And anyone could become one. The Shaod, it was called. The Transformation. It struck randomly - usually at night, during the mysterious hours when life slowed to rest. The Shaod could take beggar, craftsman, nobleman, or warrior. When it came, the fortunate person´s life ended and began anew; he would discard his old, munndane existence, and move to Elantris. Elantris, where he could live in bliss, rule in wisdom, and be worshipped for eternity. Eternity ended ten years ago.

That line, "Eternity ended ten years ago", lives in my head rent-free ever since I read it over a decade ago. I don't know, it just comes with such a gut punch but also intrigue, don't you just want to Know More? OwO

133 a book that you came across randomly and fell in love with

Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern, I needed something to read while waiting for the bus and this was the only pocketbock I could afford that sounded somewhat cool. I've never picked a better bus-book in my life! Every line is perfect, the way it just flows and every line is more gorgeous than the one before? The way it builds up all the characters and environments and both breaks and heals your heart? Amazing, absolutely breathtaking.

135 recommend any book you like!

I had a good time reading old school fantasy when I was gifted The Magicians' Guild by Trudi Canavan a few years ago. Very classic story of a poor girl being taken in and showing them all that she's the best. And of course plenty of politics in the wizard tower, as it should be.

Thank you for indulging me in this!

[darling-archeron]

Hi! I'm kind of new to the fandom and I'm looking for good Feysand fics. Do u have any reccomendations for fics/authors? 🍓

Welcome to the fandom! I've read so many amazing fics by so many amazing people over the years, so this list will by no means be comprehensive, but I'll do my best and it'll definitely get long anyway! I hope I didn't bother anyone by tagging them because I'm not mutuals with everyone on this list.

@illyriantremors on both Ao3 and Tumblr has some of the best fics I've ever read. Unfortunately, they left Tumblr and the fandom several years ago, but they have some serious gems. Some of my favorites include a nearly-complete rewrite of ACOMAF from Rhys's POV, and my personal favorite feysand fic of all time, Beneath the Stars, (And its sequel, Between the Stars!) which is a fantastic modern AU.

@quakeriders on both ao3 and Tumblr has so many good one-shots and some multichapters that live in my head rent-free! One of my faves is her demon!rhys AU; and if i get burned, at least we were electrified.

@writtenonreceipts on both ao3 and tumblr has a lot of great fics with really interesting premises. If you're into throne of glass they also write quite a bit for that fandom!

@themoonthestarsthesuriel on both tumblr and ao3 has so much amazing writing! Their fic The Bet was such a wonderful ride.

@mmvalentine on both ao3 and tumblr writes fantastic feysand AUs. I'm still working my way through a lot of their writing, but their tattoo artist au The Bargain is terrific.

@the-lonelybarricade/TheLonelyBarricade on Ao3 has so much amazing writing for a variety of ships! I recently devoured her A Court of Faded Dreams, which is a really unique concept involving Feyre being sent back in time to the beginning of ACOTAR.

@bookofmirth/ABookandACoffee on Ao3 is one of my favorite sources for levelheaded and sensible opinions in this mess of a fandom, and she is also a talented writer! Her fic Turning A Page is so well written, and she has quite a few oneshots for a variety of ships including Feysand.

@arrowmusings on both ao3 and tumblr has a lot of great content that will absolutely destroy you in the best way possible I promise.

@live-the-fangirl-life has so many wonderful feysand fics, as well as a lot of throne of glass writing if you're in that fandom.

@thesurielships has a ton of feysand fics that I adore! If you're a swiftie she has an evermore songfic collection.

Another writer who left the fandom and is also now inactive (to the best of my knowledge) is @sarahviehmann / sv_you_know_who_I_am on Ao3. Before ACOWAR came out they wrote their own version called A Court of War and Starlight that I personally haven't read, but it was immensely popular around the time. Their modern AU My Fair Warrior is really well done as well.

Since you're familiar with my blog, I'm guessing you've already checked out my writing if any of it interested you, but I'm WordsAndWishes on Ao3.

I also went down by bookmarks list on Ao3 and picked out a few of my favorite fics.

Dear Darling - penpal AU!

Going for Gold - Olympic AU - this one does focus more on Nessian but there is plenty of feysand goodness, also a lot of great sisterly relationships.

It's Nice to Have a Friend - Incomplete but a gem! A Modern AU

The Castle of Dreams - Feyre ends up as a tutor for Rhys's sister who just so happens to be a princess.

Don't Look Back - a hs AU that is so much fun and an absolute ride!

What Happens Under the Stars - feysand finds healing together in a modern au. Feyre and Rhys and their journey are written in a very unique way that I love.

If You Hold Me Close - fake dating at an elucien wedding!

Nox Industries - Rhys is a CEO and Feyre applies for a job at his company.

I just know I'm forgetting a ton of people but I hope this is a good starting place!

[mangotelevision]

Okay so I think I'm pretty solid on my Katelyn backstory for my rewrite so I figured I'd share it. I say pretty solid and I'll probably edit it or do something funky with it in like a week but here you go

I was really torn on wether or not I wanted to give Katelyn the menphia relic and I'm still not positive about it but here's what I've got so far. Okay so this really out there and all that but it ties Elizabeth with hyria and the Demon Warlock so I think it's pretty cool

Liz in my rewrite is a witch that trained under Hyria during the times of Irene, something idk the full thing yet but Irene was looking for people to wield her newly made relics and because Liz was the apprentice of hyria she was top of that list, but because she was friends with Micheal/the demon warlock she wasn't given the relic and instead it was menphia. some tai lung and master shifu type shit breaks out, her and hyria get into this big fight about how Elizabeth didn't deserve the relic and it's this whole big thing

This is the event that broke the relic that was used for the jury, this is also how Liz was put into the other dimension with her ally Micheal

Years later something happened that reopened the portal, I haven't decided what yet, but Liz and Micheal are free they go and cause some chaos, this is where Travis and Katelyn come into play. They still don't meet until season two, but their stories are somewhat similar

Katelyn is Elizabeth's attempt at making the perfect host for the relic, the training until her bones broke and all that, the constant use of fire magic that burned her from the inside out kind of stuff. Erik has fire magic and Liz is a witch from the human wyvern war, so she was really hard on Katelyn and all the training stuff because she wants Katelyn to wield the relic to spite hyria and the dead divine warriors who started the war that killed her wyvern friends

It never happens, hyria finds out about the Katelyn training and the magic experiments and fights liz again, this time putting her in the hands of the elves so they can keep an eye on her and keep her away from her children

Katelyn is sent to her father but stuff happens Liz escapes and goes after Katelyn again, the house gets burned down, Liz wants to fill Katelyn with rage a fire her own harsh training hasn't been able to do, to help her wield the fury relic, she sets the house on fire effectively killing everyone and making Katelyn believe it was all her fault and all that, really just giving this kid more trauma then what she needs

(later you find out Kasey's alive and working for the king of tula but that's not until season three)

Garte was already sent a letter by Erik to ask to train Katelyn to use her magic for good (this is before he gets manipulated by shad and Zane). This is also how Katelyn ends up in okhasis and this is the start of the jury trials, I also wanted her to know garroth and the romeave brothers before the events of season one, she doesn't know them well but at least they've interacted

I want her being a compatible relic holder to be a big plot point, she was trained from a very young age to be it's keeper but that just makes her not want to use it, it's this whole thing and I haven't made up my mind if I want her to use the relic or not yet, so yeah. I'm currently leaning towards Lucinda wielding the relic as of right now

This is all I got so I hope it was understandable, sorry I'm typing fast and don't feel like re-reading this. I'll probably elaborate on this whole trainwreck when it's not midnight

[thatsgay-writes]

Azula x Reader

Summary: You join Azula and help take over Ba Sing Se, plus some added fluff.

Warnings: Light cursing?

(You are a female.)

You never agreed with the Fire Nations beliefs. You didn't think they deserved to rule the world. You were Admiral Zhao's kid and were meant to take his spot when he died. Because of your dads high rank and age similarity with Azula, you two trained together. And maybe that's why you couldn't leave... God knows you wanted to and you had so many chances to do so. But you had grown up with Azula, seen what she had gone through. All she ever wanted was at least a sliver of the love her mom had given Zuko. When your dad disappeared you took over his role as Admiral. Azula was annoyed that you were now being shipped out with a bunch of soldiers to do her fathers dirty work. So she pulled you in to one final mission with her and her friends.

Dressed up as a Kyoshi warrior was weird. You wondered how they even fought in these ridiculous get ups. You also felt that the make up was a little over the top. But they must be doing something right too, because Azula could not stop staring at you. Yeah she used to stare at you before, but when you would look at her she would just smirk and look away. Now though, when you looked, she would blatantly check you out, looking you up and down, before biting her lip and looking away. And if your blush had been bad before you were sure it was worse now, not even the make up could hide it. You had always felt something more towards the princess than friendship but kept it to yourself not wanting to get on the Fire Lords bad side or even Azula's. But these past few days have you thinking that maybe, just maybe, she felt the same.

You watched in shock as Aang, the avatar, rose up in his avatar state. You looked around frantically for Azula in case you needed to make a quick get away. When you finally saw her, she was standing behind the avatar, you watched in shock again as she sent lightning right into the avatars back. You cringed as the lightning shocked him and caused him to smoke as he fell to the ground. Then you hear yelling come from behind you to see a giant wave come up from behind and wash everyone away. When you got hit by the wave you panicked for a moment trying to find something to grab onto before you felt yourself get pulled up. You put your arms around the neck of whoever pulled you up, as they put there arms around your waist and pulled you closer to them. When you looked up, you were surprised to see that Azula was the one holding you. She was sporting a huge grin while watching Katara take Aang out and away from the battlefield. When she finally looked down and saw you looking at her, her smile softened a bit before taking a hand from your waist and using it to move the hair out of your face. You blushed at the action before hearing people moving behind you. You hastily pulled away from Azula at the noise, knowing that she wouldn't want to be caught in a compromising position.

Azula stood in front of the earth kings throne as she and Long Feng had a stare off. You stood next to the throne, a little nervous. You believed in Azula fully but Long Feng was a wild card and you didn't like wild cards. However, you relaxed when you watched Azula sit on the throne and Long Feng bow. She ordered them all to leave before she grabbed your hand and made you stand in front of the throne and her. You looked at her questioningly before she pulled you into her lap, causing you to blush and look down. Azula chuckled at the action before putting her finger under your chin and lifting it. "Now that I've captured Ba Sing Se, I feel as if I deserve a reward." You looked at her in confusion causing her to scoff. "Don't look so confused. You act as if I haven't caught you staring or let you catch me staring. Honestly, waiting for you to make the first move has been such a bore." Your eyes widen in shock as your realize that she felt the same way, you honestly thought her and Ty Lee and a thing going on. When Azula realized that you weren't going to move, she took matters into her own hands and gripped your chin harder before pulling you into a kiss. When your lips connected you lost your breath. You had imagined kissing Azula many times but none were as good as this. You had expected her lips to be chapped but your surprise they were smooth and had a light taste of cherry. You don't think you could every look at cherries the same way again.

"Ahem." You heard from your right, causing you and Azula to pull away. You eyes widen at the sight of Zuko standings there, arms crossed in front of his chest. "I need to speak to Azula... alone." He stated barely giving you a second glance. Azula sighed before standing up, with you now being carried on her front. "You always were a cock block, weren't you Zuzu." She said rolling her eyes as she placed you down in on the throne. "I'll be right back to celebrate and get more of my reward." She winked before turning around to walk away with Zuko. Leaving you a blushing mess sitting in the throne.

Before heading back to the fire nation Azula decided to take you on a date. You and her hadn't really talked about your relationship status since your first kiss but you had started sleeping in her room since that day. She decided to take you to the newer zoo in the putter ring. (The one that Aang made in that episode with all those short stories) To say you were excited was an understatement, you loved animals. Of course you never told anyone this, not wanting it to make you seem weak. But Azula knew all about your secret obsession, she may or may not have read your journal/diary. Azula made sure that she had guards blocking the entrance/exit to the zoo to not let anyone in. As much as she enjoyed keeping of the façade of a cold hearted bitch, not that it was hard, she wanted to truly relax and be herself. Azula truly trusted you and knew you would never leave if betray her. So she spent the whole day being herself with you. When you would get excited and start practically jumping up and down, she'd hold your hand in hope to calm you down. When you'd lean on the half wall to try and see the animals better she'd come up behind you, wrap her arms around your waist and lean her chin on your shoulder. You loved this side of Azula and you knew that when your back in public it would all end. So you spent the day holding her hand, cuddling in to her as you walked, kissing her. Anything you knew would become scarce once you were back in the real world.

Sadly, everything come to an end. You didn't want the day to be over. You were having so much fun. As you walking towards the exit of the zoo Azula stopped suddenly. You turned around to look at her in confusion. "Azula is everything..." "Be mine." Azula interrupts you. You know she meant it as a question but it came out as more of a command. You raised an eyebrow at her in response. "I... don't do that to me... you know what I meant" she rolls her eyes before trying again, "Will you be mine?" This time you smiled happily before pulling her into a kiss. You tried to kiss her as long as possible but you couldn't stop smiling. "Of course."

*Time Skip*

Zuko barged into Azula's room, letting shock wash over his face as he noticed you laying next to her. Zuko opens his mouth to yell before seeing Azula put up a hand to stop him. She slowly and as carefully as possible, untangled herself from you before walking out into the hall and closing the door behind Zuko. "What do you want?" She asked already annoyed with Zuko interruption. Zuko wanted to ask about what was going on between you and his sister but refrained, seeing as Azula was already so pissed. "You told dad I killed the avatar. Why? What do you gain from this?" Azula smirked at her older brother. "You've been trying to get into dads good graces again. You've returned home a hero. You have been going after the avatar for all these years. You might as well be the one claim his death. Besides what does it matter the avatar is dead now anyways. If he wasn't though... dad wouldn't be happy." Azula ends her sentence with a cheeky smile. Zuko tried to suppress his emotions. He sent Azula a glare before opening his mouth to respond. But before he could they both heard the door next to them creek open. "Azula?" You mumbled out, trying to wipe the sleep out of your eyes. "The bed got cold. I looked around and... oh" you said ending your sentence, just now noticing Zuko standing across from Azula. Azula smiled at you before turning back to Zuko, "As much as I'm enjoying our little... conversation, I am needed elsewhere." Azula turned away from Zuko, not even letting him respond, before picking you up, walking into her room and closing the door behind you. She laid you back on to the bed before going around to her side and climbing in. Almost immediately you latch on to her and fall right back asleep. Azula spend a few minutes admiring you as you sleep before closing her eyes with a smile on her face, hoping to dream about a future with you.

[yarrowleef]

will u still b posting a lot of warrior cat stuff tho ?

lmao i completely forgot to actually answer this ask from 2 weeks ago oops.

short answer, yes, but probably steadily not as much over time.

Longer answer, although I have honestly been considering moving away from warriors for a while, I want to emphasize i’m not talking about an immediate permanent change like “on this date I will never again mention the name of warriored cat in this household!!” I’m just talking in long term, I can’t foresee myself being so focused on warriors forever and if I manage to gather any kind of online audience, I don’t want that to be the only thing they expect. I’m sure i’ll still read a battle cat book now and again (or at least summaries) if only for curiosities sake, and make jokes about canon and w/e, but my patience with canon has been growing thinner by the year and my interest in the books is starting to feel like a weird addiction probably fueled by having a fandom to interact with that most books just don’t have. Warriors is like terrible potato chips for my brain, really addicting even though it hurts my mouth. I want to branch out into books I actually think are good, and the honest truth is that despite its occasionally good moments, overall i simply don’t think warrior cats is... good,, and I don't think it ever has been. Especially as someone who’s primary interest in fiction rests heavily on character writing, which is probably warriors weakest point. It’s comfortable nostalgia-fueled junk food, and I like junk food, but I can’t just keep eating potato chips forever especially when I already worry i’ve subconsciously absorbed bad habits from it.

Aside from posting the last chapters of my tallstar’s revenge rewrite on my other blog (sometime this week, god willing) I will say there is one rather big warriors OC-centric fic I have bouncing around in my head that I’d like to do a lot of big illustrations and writing for (maybe even make an audiobook narration for it to make it more accessible ‘cause it seems fun). I planned on making it my final “big” project dedicated to the Warrior Cats world. One last hoorah to get all the rest of my ideas out of my system, and then pivot to focusing more on original stuff. It’s a story that for several reasons can’t be converted into original fiction, so if I write it, it has to be like this. I’m going to be vague about it for now because I don’t want to repeat  past mistakes of hyping it up for a long time before i’m 100% sure what the finished product will be, or if there will even be a finished product as my motivation is a fickle beast that can abandon me at a moments notice, and I don’t want to do what I did with my tallstar rewrite where i force myself to finish even when I get burned out (as glad as I am that i managed to finish such a big project, it was also really rough to write at times). 

so, idk, we’ll just see how it goes. If I do write it, it will probably take a year or two if not more, since I envision it as 2-3 books (I haven't quite determined if i have enough plot for a trilogy, it could end up a duology). So it’s a ways off either way, but that would be my last phase of being super warrior cat focused, and after that project is completed, I don’t foresee myself making much notable content for the series, oc or otherwise (but...i’m not sure how much of a difference that makes, lets be real, I feel like I hardly “make content” anyway?? does the amount of canon fanart i’ve posted even break double digits? i can’t remember, it’s hard to recall wtf i’ve actually been doing here for the past 5+ years lol. Now that I think of it, I’m not actually sure what it is people follow me for. Is this place even distinguishable from every other war cat blog?? who knows, i’ve never seen myself as a reliable ~fandom content creator~ im truly just vibing)

Again, don’t expect any big immediate changes. These are just thoughts I have floating around my head. I’m not good at planning, right now all this means for all of you guys is I may also occasionally make posts about other animal stories and maybe oc animal art here and there amidst the cat posts, rather then keeping all that stuff on a separate blog.

[revchainsaw]

The Crow (1994)

Alright Cult of Cult. Do I really need to introduce this one? Let's get all 90s and gothy and maybe brace ourselves for a bit of cringe, but like in a fun way. It's the Holy Grail of Hot Topic, 1994's the Crow Starring Brandon Lee.

Sermon

Apparently before the auto industry totally crashed Detroit was already a total fucked to death pile of burning shit, or at least that's what the crow would have you believe. Sorry Bruce Campbell, and other people from Detroit, but mostly Bruce Campbell. According to the Crow the city of Detroit is the kind of place where gangs of warlock anarchist arsonists will bomb buildings, and murder and rape whoever they feel like and then walk around bragging about it the next day with absolutely zero consequences. Funny then that if Detroit was so bad they had to go to film this movie in Wilmington North Carolina which is definitely a fucked to death pile of burning shit. I can say that, I'm from there and I got the fuck out. My brother is going to kill me if he ever reads this. (It's okay, these are all jokes people). Did you know they also filmed the Super Mario Bros movie there ... also cuz they needed a really shitty looking distopia. Moving on ...

The ludicrous criminality of the Crow's Detroit is particularly on display on Halloween. In Detroit (apparently) Halloween is known as Devils Night and it's legitimately just a night of pure lawlessness and chaos and kids aren't even safe to get candy, except later when we do see trick or treaters. Eric Draven, hunky goth rocker who sort of looks like he could be Bruce Lee's Kid and his fiance are murdered by a gang of vicious criminals. One year hence, Eric is resurrected by a mystical crow (that is actually a Raven), to exact his revenge on the gang that murdered him.

He paints his face like sad Alice Cooper and refuses to listen to Joy Division, just covers. He murders Tin Tin (a knife guy) just for his long gothy duster, he murders Fun Boy and forcibly ejects heroine from her arms and tells her "Go be a good mom now" which actually works. (have I told you about our Lord and Savior Sting? He gave me the strength to get off drugs), he blows T Bird up dick first, and then comes for Skab? Scraap? Scooby? in a meeting of all of Detroits villains and just about kills them all.

He is supported by the most 90s little girl to have ever graced the screen, and I am here for it, and Officer Albrecht, who's played by Ernie Hudson but I like to call him Zeddemore: The Most Underrated Ghostbuster. The leader of the bad guys, who I cannot beleive wasn't played by Brad Dourif or Tom Waits, is pretty interested in the occult. He keeps his witchy girlfriend around and she makes him fun dishes like smoked eyeballs, and her main use is that she knows that the Crow is the Crows weakness. They set Tony Fucking Todd on the bird, and I guess you just have to hurt the bird and not kill it, and Eric loses his healing factor and other macabre undead powers.

The Crow, Jimmy the Raven, pecks out Dr. Girlfriends eyeballs, I honestly forget how Tony Todd gets offed, and Top Dollar gets Gargoyled (that is impaled on a gargoyle). Funnily enough that is more Gargoyle related impaling on screen then in the actual movie Gargoyle: Wings of Darkness where a Gargoyle is supposed to have impaled a guy.

The Benediction

Best Feature: Injustice League

In the Crow we have not only a set of super memorable villains but they are played by the bad guy all stars. John Polito as the most lowly of the bad guys as a kind of sleazy pawn shop owner who buys ill gotten gains. Tony Todd, who's size is really on display here, the freaking Candy Man is in this movie. T Bird is the head of Top Dollars goons and is played by David Patrick Kelly, you might know as the "Warriors Come Out and Play!!" bottle guy from the Warriors, or as Jimmy Horne from Twin Peaks, and of course Top Dollar himself is played by Michael Wincott. Wincott is not a particularly celebrated actor but has played villains effectively in Robin Hood, the Three Musketeers, and Dead Man.

Best Set Piece: Detroit Style Hot Dogs

The Set design of the Crow is perhaps one of it's most fantastic features. It's very moody and ethereal. It's just real enough to not take you out of the film, but fantastic enough to set mood and theme above realism. From Eric Draven's apartment, to the church where the final battle occurs they are all fantastic. I think that's why I really wanted to shine the spot light on a very minor set piece that would get nary a mention but just as effectively represents the qualities I was just talking about and that is the Maxi Doggs Hot Dog Stand, where a lot of the films exposition for audience surrogates takes place.

Worst Effect: Freeze Frame

At a few points in the movie the film makers made a strange decision to do these freeze frame transitions. I only noticed it twice in the movie where it was particularly stupid. I'm sure the film makers at the time thought it was a moody and atmospheric choice that highlighted the suffering that Eric Draven was going through, but it didn't age well. If you don't have the sensibilities of a goth girl from 1994 then it's very very hard not to laugh at just how self involved the movie is about it's super sadness.

Worst Feature: Tragic Accident

Solely based on the film itself, it is that very gothic and dated sensibility that hurts the Crow. The little sarcastic dance he does when he flees the police, quoting Edgar Allen Poe, and bowing to Albrecht. These affected behaviors that I'm sure seemed snarky and right on to the target audience only serve to make Eric Draven seem like an unbearable neck beard edgelord and not the troubled dark soul he's supposed to be. I'm sure at the time it seemed unique and gothy but that shit went out of style for good reason, people could see through it. It's a shame that the Crow himself was some of the cringiest parts of this movie now that I'm seeing it as an adult and not a 13 year old middle class boy with no real problems.

This however is not the low point of the movie. It's not news now and if you're reading some dudes review of The Crow on Tumblr then you probably already know the story. The worst thing about The Crow is that Brandon Lee was horrifically killed on set while filming this movie due to some negligible prop malfunctions. A series of unfortunate events that lead to the actor spending 6 hours in surgery fighting for his life before eventually passing. It was not a quick or painless death and it's really impossible to watch the movie without an appreciation for the fact that this kind of fun dark adventure was going to be a vehicle for Brandon Lee's career wound up taking his life. He was 28. I really wish I could have just bitched about the goofy goth stuff and moved on, but that's not the world we live in.

Best Effect: The Gargoyling

Maybe I should have called this best kill. But I'm not sure which it is. The slaying of Top Dollar at the Climax of the film was just super effective. The pointed wings impaling his chest and that horn coming out of his mouth, it was morbid and excellent and just fit the tone of the movie perfectly. I mean how many other movies can you say Cause of Death: Impaled on a Gargoyle.

Best Bird: The Raven

I tried very hard to look up the name of the bird that primarily performed in this movie and could not find anything. There was a Raven once upon a time called Jimmy the Raven, but that was in the 50s and I don't think birds live that long. There was a team of Ravens performing as the crow, they were chosen over crows for their larger size, and more imposing silhouettes. I just think it's so wonderful to see these often maligned birds get a chance to show off their talents. Corvids of all kinds are incredibly intelligent creatures. Im a sucker for animals, if you haven't already figured that out. I really liked seeing the ravens hit their marks, particularly the one whos job it was to drop the wedding ring into Sarah's hand at the end of the film. You can see that greedy little bastard do his trick and then look of camera at his trainer like "treat please!". It's very cute.

Best Actor: Top Dollar Performance

I'd love to take this opportunity to just put praise upon Brandon Lee, he truly gave everything for this role, but unfortunately with what was put to film we actually have very few character moments with Eric Draven. Stuff happens to him, and he does killings and fights. There's definitely some personality, but I felt like I walked away knowing almost nothing about who Eric Draven was. He was clearly a good dude but that and a few hobbies and a relationship and you don't really have a character yet. He's unfortunately not given a lot of acting to do, instead just relegated to stunts and action sequences. That were notably cool.

The bad guys in the Crow have a lot more character and among this who's who of character actors, Michael Wincott takes the cake. Hell he was standing next to Candyman himself, Tony Todd and still stealing the scenes.

Best Character: A Few Good Apples

Is the best character in The Crow really going to be the cop? The commissioner Gordon stand in? yeah, it is. Not to be political, but I don't like cops, but I guess in a world with magical birds and eyeball smoking I can suspend my disbelief and let Ernie Hudson be #1 cop dad. His character is really the heart of the film, since all Eric can do is brood and fight, we have to care about someone in this movie.

Best Sequence: Halloween Party

The best sequence of the movie is of course the scene where Eric Draven busts in on the Devil's Night party planning commission. I think Top Dollar brought Scrappy Doo there just so he could lure out the crow, knowing the baddest assholes in all of Detroit would be gathered it was likely that somebody was going to kill the beast, or if they couldn't at least Top Dollar could get a feel for his enemy. It's a bullet flying action sequence with a ton of weight. I can't put my finger on this all to common weightless third act problem that big budget super hero and action flicks have nowadays, but whatever that issue is, the Crow does not have that issue. From this point on the Climax feels earned and I am invested. For that reason, The Crow is honestly better in spite of its awkwardness, than many of the super hero movies out today.

Worst Sequence: My Guitar Gently Weeps

Speaking of brooding or fighting. The best sequence was fighting, the worst is brooding. I get that Eric was in a band or something, but didn't he have shit to do. It seemed like it was a cool idea for a shot, but for like a whole seen, watching somebody play an 80s guitar solo, that stood out so brazenly from the choices of music in the rest of the movie was extra corny. It felt like someone's( dad trying to relate to their kid. Oh you like Music. The Dresden Dolls eh? Oh man, then you're going to love Slash's Snake Pit!

Summary

The Crow is dated. It is iconic but I wonder how many of the people that hang that poster on the wall have watched that movie since they were kids. It's interesting how what i've liked and disliked about this film have changed so much sense I was a kid. It's a cheeseball fiesta. If you have matured at all beyond thinking that being sad is the same as being deep then you're going to like it a little less than you did when you were younger, but it is still solid. There's not much to hate on. I'd watch it over and over again. I was really afraid it would not hold up at all, but returning to The Crow was a completely positive experience.

Overall Grade: B

[solacefruit]

Not an ask from the ask game - but do you mind explaining how you came up with some of your worldbuilding for MAMS?

- The Elders arranging pairings for genetic fitness

- the winds

- Housekeeper names

And which piece of worldbuilding has you feeling the most of that 'smug these things fit together in a logical and intriguing way I haven't seen much of elsewhere' feeling?

Hello there! I don’t mind explaining the thought process behind these, so sure, I’m happy to chat a bit about these world-building features. This will all go under a readmore as usual, so answers below!

The elders’ role.

It’s my opinion that elders would be highly valued in every clan, although their specific duties and cultural role might vary. Even before I started writing fanfiction for Warriors I always intended to give elders significant political and cultural weight, and I had a collection of little thoughts about how that might look like. For many years, one of the things I knew Windclan elders did was essentially host a micro-democratic system--i.e., they would vote on issues after a long debate, so as to give each cat an equal voice in the final decision. 

Some elements of Windclan life are decided exclusively by the elders in this way, and the arrangements are one of those elements. The arrangements came out of two thoughts for me: the first being that Wind (the founder) is a mother and a leader simultaneously, which I felt set a precedent for Windclan to allow mollies to have litters and hold power; and the second being the canon visitors to Windclan, whose purpose there was very unclear and honestly not really plasuible to me. In canon, they just come chill for a while and there’s not really any benefit to Windclan allowing them to do so. 

So from those two thoughts, I went: okay, what do the visitors offer the clan that would incentivise Windclan to invite them back every single year? And the answer is fresh bloodlines, particularly as the cats of the visiting group change so frequently as they are joined by newcomers. Likewise, I considered what impact it would have for Windclan to have a leader who also had experience raising kittens, and the answer was that she had the insight to know an insular, unmoving clan would not last. Hence why she also came to an accord with the barn cats of the nearby farmlands.

The combination to those two factors made it clear to me that Windclan’s tolerance--and even enthusiasm--for the visitors came from early in their history as a failsafe against inbreeding, and it seemed right to me that the elders--who long ago would probably have been Wind’s closest friends, the cats who helped take on some responsibility while she raised her litter--are the ideal thinktank for tracking bloodlines and deliberating on appropriate matches for warriors. It seemed like a neat and realistic solution for several problems. 

The nine winds. 

I knew I wanted to include a significant and unique element of Windclan culture in m.a.m.s. because it’s the ideal environment to do so, being a bigger story than my previous ones. The nine winds developed out of both Doylist and Watsonian interests for me. 

The Doylist (in-universe) reason is that canon suggests Windclan views themselves as intensely spiritual because of their position as closest to the stars and/or Moonstone (?)--but that didn’t really click with me, because all the clans feel they have a deeply personal, powerful relationship with Starclan. I felt there had to be more to their everyday relationship and “we sleep under the stars” doesn’t actually cut it for me as a notable cultural practice that justifies that feeling of connection. I wanted to be true to Windclan’s sense of being in conversation with Starclan, in a way that most suited their lifestyle and territory. Hence, the wind as divine messenger. 

The Watsonian (out-of-universe) reason is that I considered Windclan’s supposed connection to Starclan and stars, and then I thought of astrology, and then I thought of “what if astrology but actually interesting and potentially valuable?”, and then I devised the nine winds. Sorry to anyone who finds astrology fun or valuable, but for me, I don’t really find it compelling conceptually because (and obviously this is a super basic, watered down definition, forgive me) it is predominantly about explaining who you are based on when + where you were born and accounting for why you act or feel the way you do.  

That feels stagnant to me, so I wanted to take the concept of astrology and go, “what if it tells you who you can/should become?” and that felt very right and much more in line with stories I like to tell. I loved the idea of life as a work-in-progress, nebulously guided by ancestors, and I enjoy the difficulty in disproving the nine winds: either the wind is right because you could stand to be more x, or the wind is right because you became very x (as you should have). An emphasis on interpretation was important too, so that each cat has a personal relationship with 1. their own harbinger and 2. the day-to-day movements of the wind generally. 

As a side-note, I was also aware that systems of categorisation--Hogwarts houses or whatever else--are very appealing to readers, and I had a feeling people would go a little wild for the nine winds as a concept. I’ve so far been pretty good at predicting what it is that people really like in my work, especially as far as world-building goes, and it always makes me excited when I know I’ve about to share something new that I think everyone will go a bit mad for. 

Housekeeper names.

I wanted to achieve a few things with Cypress in m.a.m.s., and one of them was that I really wanted his relationship with Talltail to develop out of a cultural miscommunication that only becomes visible to both parties in hindsight. In the end, of course the relationship is very real, but from Cypress’ perspective, I needed something to push him to take the leap into the unknown, because I felt just curiosity and a desire for adventure weren’t quite enough to make him leave the comfort and safety of his home. But a noble, handsome traveller who turns up on his doorstep with interesting stories and a quest, who almost at once offers his name to Cypress in gratitude for his hospitality? The boy thought he’d fallen directly into a cat romance novel. 

I also felt that the sacred secret of one’s name is a super interesting cultural counterpoint to the clans, whose names and naming system exist to be known and as a way to identify each other. I got the idea initially from Old Possum’s Book of Cats, actually, a long long time ago, and have always found the thought of every cat (and particularly pet cats) having a private name pretty delightful--especially as kind of this last fierce independence, the one thing that is theirs and theirs alone. 

Personally, I also just love any kind of ritualised social conduct--another reason I love court intrigue. The sharing--or not sharing--of names has so many subtle little ramifications, and while I didn’t explore those in m.a.m.s. I love to think about it. 

And which piece of worldbuilding has you feeling the most of that 'smug these things fit together in a logical and intriguing way I haven't seen much of elsewhere' feeling?

I think they all go together really well and a lot of what makes this story feel unique is the combination of all these little things happening concurrently--or at least that’s my theory! I think of all the things I’ve written in m.a.m.s. the nine winds are probably the most intriguing, though, by virtue of implying much but sharing only a fragment of the whole? But that’s just a guess. 

I think the nine winds as a concept is the thing that is most specifically a me creation and probably the most unlikely to have been developed independently by someone else, so I’ll go with that! Admittedly I very rarely read Warriors fanfiction, so I can’t be sure, but I don’t think there’s anything quite like what I’m doing out there at the moment. 

Frankly if there was, I like to think I’d already know about it, because I’d be their biggest fan. Thank you for asking, and I hope these answers are interesting!