#i havent logged onto tumblr in so long

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

Lesbian ships are stupid

That's not what your mom said while we scissored the night away 😘

[mixtercandy]

ccandy candy hi hiii we havnt talked in forever its like ah hald 4am ofor me i wan t you to know i love you /p youre an AWESOME FRIEND i wish you showed up more on mt dash tumblr is so mean

ISSAK HHIIIIIIIIIII!!!! WAAAHHH I HAVNT TALKED TO U IN FORVEVER EITHRR BESTIE UR AN AWESOME FRIEND TOO U KNOW THAT RIGHT WAA

[askmarshandbroflovski]

In response

((OOC

i checked this blog today to make sure it hadnt been deleted and saw a few things in the inbox. i want to clear up a couple of things. if this is the last post to ever hit this blog, so be it, but heres the endcase:

no, i decided not to make the end comic. i wrote this story nine years ago with someone i loved very much. it sort of became a net for my feelings about my loss and addiction. it was messy and weird and put a lot of my perspectives on display. ive been clean for two years now and i think its okay not to tie up this story with a neat end. like stan and kyle, i graduated and i got older and i have a career. thats all it would have been. i would have tried to ascribe some deeper meaning to making a dumb thing in high school, and i would have tried really hard to make it feel like the way things were back then were okay. i dont really feel like revisiting it. comics are hard. it took me a very long time to write and create something that can be read in maybe an afternoon. maybe you just had to be there. by following stan and kyle for as long as it took, you followed me and my coming to grips with being a person. really, this was just longform vent art about whatever dumb bullshit occurs to a high school junior. but i know it helped some people and entertained some other people so, i will be leaving it up. i just dont think ill ever slap a neat bow on it. my story wont have a neat end and neither will stan and kyles.

no, i wont end the craig blog either. i havent logged into that one in a while and i think if tumblr wants to wash it away thats okay. it was a way for me to reclaim some control over a narrative and maybe explore some deeper feelings (surprise, my birth father Also went missing, who knew) but it ultimately didnt amount to much. whatever happened to craig is up to you. my interpretation wasnt liked much anyway, and to have an askblog, you need people to be curious about the premise. i didnt connect as much with it and the frustration associated with running a project like that outweighed whatever i got out of it. i still dont know what that was.

anyway. i moved onto writing dnd campaigns and i am still alive. i still make art sometimes. i still get anxious when i see the inbox notifs, but these days, 9 times out of 10 its spam. i hope you guys all liked the south park post-pandemic aged up specials. i didnt, but im nitpicky and kind of bitter about the idea altogether. i havent seen an active askblog since 2017 but hey. be nice to people who make things. if you feel so inclined, maybe go make something for yourself. id like to thank the people who were curious and had fun here. id like to thank sekrit, neggy, rachel, five, ozzy and nadia. id like to thank everyone who let me tell my story. its just not over yet.

[basilarium]

GOING ACTUALLY INSANE OVER TADC I LOGGED ONTO TUMBLR FOR THE FIRST TIME AGAIN JUST FOR THIS I HAVENT MADE FANART IN SO LONG BUT THERES SOMETHING ABOUT TADC THAT ITCHES MY BRAIN

[angel-uhrr]

here we fucking go again

so you broke up. and this time, it seems like it’s the end. and you know logically that there’s nothing that can fix it but healing and time, but of course you miss him and of course you log onto this stupid fucking blog because of course you come in here everytime that you feel like garbage. 

the personal tag on this tumblr is rapidly becoming a diary of all the shitty things that have happened in your life - your first failed relationship (fuck you t*******), your depression from first year undergrad (and again in first year grad school), your rejection from med school, and now your second failed relationship. prime yourself for more entries from me when im too distracted to work because lord knows that this breakup hurts more than the last one because this guy is a genuinely good guy. 

or at least i think he is. i want to believe he is. i didnt spend three years with a guy who isnt a good guy. i didnt spend three years with a guy who didn’t love me the best way i have ever experienced in my life (although i don’t really have that much experience with it). i didnt spend three years with a guy who made me feel less than in any way, i spent three years with a guy who learned how to love me and wanted to keep loving me. 

he just mistook love for feelings when love is, in fact, choices. i cant really fault him for that. i cant even say i havent been there. but part of me will always wonder what couldve happened to us if the conversation went a different way. 

1) if he told me sooner, maybe. 

2) if i didnt rush into suggesting to break up, perhaps. 

3) if we took the time we said we would apart so he could make the decision that he had to make with clear eyes, i don’t know. 

that’s not what happened though.

here’s where i do a very long rundown of why those what ifs are not going to help you. 

1) if he told you sooner: he didn’t. that’s on him. you can’t do anything about this so don’t even consider this one. he didn’t. and even if he did, you don’t know if this outcome would’ve happened regardless. 

2) if you didn’t suggest breaking up: that’s not only on you. that’s on both of you for agreeing about it. 

but also, even if it was all on you, that’s a natural reaction to how things went. say you didn’t suggest breaking up, what would you be doing right now? calling him and feeling like he isn’t in it? doubting the kind words that he tells you because of his lack of feelings? trying to work things out with someone who clearly, so fucking clearly wasn’t sure if he wanted to? no. angela, no. you deserve to be with someone who, despite feeling that way, tells you firmly and confidently that he wants to make it work with you no matter what. no second thoughts or hesitation whatsoever just because of something as flimsy as feelings. 

3) if we took our time apart: that was also on him. he should not have played with your feelings by asking you out like that. he should not have tried to make you feel like he had a decision when he didn’t. he should not have used the words that he did to ask you out tomorrow when he didn’t know for certain that he wanted to be with you. no. no. that is not how it works. not to mention, this time right now? this is time apart.

it’s just time apart with no false hope that you will be together again. and that is what you need to properly focus on yourself. you know it too, you aren’t a dumb bitch. you’re in fucking grad school, near halfway done for pete’s sake. you’re quadruple published and are more than this relationship. you know it too. because you’re so smart, you’ll know exactly what im going to say next: 

getting better to get back together should not be your focus. 

get better for your own sake. get better so you can walk the earth proud of yourself. get better for the loved ones who did choose to stick around and walk you through this challenging time. 

you told him a billion and one times that “i was happy with my life before you, if we end, i can be happy again, because i am my own person.” you meant that shit. and he is the same, he can be happy on his own too. and should be. 

anyways, all this to say that you are amazing. come on here to vent anytime you’re bothering your friends a little too much. i’m always here to listen. 

[ira-hydrangea]

Oh my gooddd Hello iram do you still remember me 😭😭 i legit havent logged onto tumblr for so long loll. But wanna know who my fsvourite duo is? Luisa and epel, look at my face and tell me that Epel would be mesmerized by her -🧸

AHH!! I THOUGHT YOU DISSAPEAR!! WELCOME BACK! Even though I also disappeared for 3 days long for my mid-exam preparation.

And yes! Epel will learn a lot from Luisa. I have a feeling that they will meet behind Vil's back for Luisa to train little Epel. It always goes overboard so Vil will find out and lecture both of them.

The opposite of Luisa, Epel will try to get away from Isabella. Hello! Her personality is almost the same as Vil's. And her attitude is one of the things that he didn't like. Second, Vil and Isabella are pretty much close, so sometimes Isabella will tell Vil about the secret training.

[zooone]

mutual love!!!! inspired by @gaytoadwithapopcicle (anon love will come tomorrow,,, ,.,,.,.,.,, im tirired)

@lyssys - oh my goodness where do i even begin. um. the whole reason why im even here???? the whole reason why i love logging onto tumblr?????? the whole reason that im inspired????? uh. hello??? literally greatest person ever. ive said this before but they remind me of mumza and niki... as caring and sweet and open as mumza and as beautiful and empowering as niki!!! the best of the best... huge inspiration for me,,, and im lowkey still shocked that she was my first mutual and she (wonderful amazing beautiful lyss) asked me (rambling bozo) to be moots! but nonetheless it was absolutely amazing ofc!! i worship them soso much. deserves the world <33

@sardonic-the-writer - insanely similar to lyss'- where do i even begin. i used to literally freak out to your amazing writing. again, v v surprised that they (absolutely cool, insanely talented sardonic) asked me (someone who used to reel over their work and inhale it like air) to be mutuals!!! aaa i remember when they first asked,,, i recently hit 100 nd was playing guitar when i saw them ask to be moots! i had to put my instrument down so i caan get up and jump w joy :)) but anywho very very talented! and accepting as well, i dunno how they were able to withstand me and lyss spamming them w scrunkbut /affectionate. also the whole reason i have like half of my mutuals :DD couldnt have done it w/o u man :)

@gaytoadwithapopcicle - MY MANNN!!1!!!!! my pal my guy my brotherein my homeslicicle my bro...... another instance in which i got rlly happy when they asked to be moots!!! like okqoabajwjsjwmwnwbsmdm this insanely cool person wants to befriend me???!!!?!???? i was shocked, to say the least. but toad is so so so cool!!!!!!!!! im exteemely flattered to be their first mutual and i hope i made a well first impression of how it feels to have a moot!! but v v v kind and sweet and respectful!! i feel v safe and welcome in their dms and theyre the coolest absolutely

@harbingerofheartbreak - yet another moment that i was shocked when she asked to be moots (man, i really am a fuckin loser, huh? /pos) honestly one of the most, if not the most, talented writer i know. the grammar they use is immaculate whilst also being still comprehensive,,, the way they show emotion is picture perfect,,,,,, and to say that way she writes stories to flow so well it blows me away is an understatement!!!! if they released a book id be the first to buy /hj,,, but aside from their amazing talent, they're also so so so sweet too! v supportive of others work, and wont hesitate to be the sweetest ever!!! aaaa i love em sm :)) <33 /p

@gh0st-b0ys - a huge issue i have w myself is that i often think im too annoying, by ghostly never made me feel like that. id post something absolutely idiotic, and still get happy when they would like it!! didnt matter what it was, as long as i get a like from them, everything is alright :)),,,, also they said that they idolized me?!?2!1?1?1??1?!3?1!!?2! wtf!?2!?!????????!1!1?! /pos waaa i cant express into words how happy that made me feel.... i idolize people all the time and to know that someone is like that towards me makes it sm easier to get out of bed. and even tho we havent had a lotta interaction between each other,,, i just wanna let em know that theyre insanely cool :Dd

@pebblebrainlovejoy - proud to say i watched them grow 💪💪💪💪 i feel like a proud older sibling whenever i see their blog. i remember seeing one of their newer works (cant remember what it was but at the time it only had like 2 notes) and i thought "this is actually amazing,, this persons gonna blow up, i swear." and they did!!!! and im so so so proud of them!!!!!1!!1 honestly, i love seeing their blog on my dash and it makes me the happiest whenever i do. absolutrly amazing writer as well!!! i respect them not only as a mutual vut as a writer definitely. cant even describe how happy their work makes me,.,,, like its amazing,, i would recommend it a thousand percent to people absolutely <33

[nako-doodles]

pick 5 people that make your fandom experience wholesome and write a small paragraph about each one of them 💖

this ask is so stanking cute? buckle in im going to be talking for a very long time 🤣🤣🤣 *taps mic* lessgetit

@cafejoon tate the sun to my moon the stars of my sky the vampire gf of my dreams, where do i even start? im so incredibly grateful that however many moons and however many suns ago we discovered we practically have the same bday, and further discovered our red string of fate via baby shark. its been just an honor and a joy knowing you and talking to you and just being your moon and basking your solar brilliance. heres to another couple millennia together darling. 🥰🥰🥰

@stargazingjin rebecca the jk to my jin the funniest dorkiest person i know the other half of my chaos braincell the most talented photographer E V E R i love you 🥺🥺🥺 youre always so down-to-earth and the bright spot in my days of thunderclouds and lightning (very literal lately) and the hot chocolate on my sleepless nights. cant wait to be the most embarrassing duo at the airport with you darling 🥰💖✨

@jincentvangogh vero the reason why i dont need to go to the gym to get abs i love you 🥺🥺🥺 thank you for indoctrinating me into all of the hip anime and for basically curating your tiktok foryoupage to be for the two of us. our daily min yoongi kim namjoon christian yu nanami kento induced mental breakdowns is honestly what keeps my skin clear. its an honor to be a thirsty hoe with you love 🤣✨😉

@mintagust reka your the flying buttresses to my gothic cathedral the min yoongi of bangtan. thank you for always being so supportive and loving and funny and for always sending me msgs 🥺🥺🥺 they make logging onto this hellsite so worth it i love you so so so much. its an incredible honor to see your artwork and gifs i hope you always send them my way 🥰💖✨

@thatredwine erl! thank you for always sending me the cutest funniest asks and tagging me in the bestest jin content on this hellsite. im not sure what i did to deserve such a fantastic person to bring so much joy and serotonin in my life, but i am grateful everyday for your presence. i hope whatever is stressing you out has been banished from the mortal plane 😌🥰💖

@yoongisbengaliwife t youre just such a bright spot in this fandom im sure im not the only one absolutely in love w you. you bring so much joy on your blog it always kinda feels like a beach vacay every time i got on tbh. ur eid selfies yesterday were so cute i literally turned into heart eyes emoji. thank you for being so supportive and iconic 🥺🥺🥺

@taemaknae nicole youre just so creative and talented with all your edits and mbs and icons and headers it always blows me away. i can always tell who is using your headers and icons bc of your style which is like. super sexy of you 😳😳😳 i love reading your tags and it truly blows me away that your my moot??? like in what universe?????? anyways thank you for sticking up for me and being so iconic 🥲😎🥰

@jinbestboy ugh em you improved my tumblr experience at least a hundredfold by establishing the jinie moot club tbh. thank you for being so funny and loving and jincredible in the tags i love love love reading through them. im sorry i havent been able to keep up w the posts but as soon as im not a zombie im coming back just you wait....just you wait........🤣🥰💖

@luvsjoon cat when i tell you i go on your blog at least once a day to cleanse my vibes and get some serotonin pumping......i read your blog like the morning paper. youre such a happy and bright and sweet presence on my dash.e thank you for being you im a life long fan of you tbh ✨💖🥰

@gimbapchefs nat how do you literally write the funniest captions and come up w the most hilarious gif comps like????? *shakes empty cap* spare funny bones pls. anyways youre such a cool person i look up to you a lot. thank you for blessing us plebes with your iconique self and i cant wait to see what other beauties you make 😳✨💖

@jung-koook sky ill be honest w you. im still shook your my moot and like?? talk to me??? the day you followed back i literally almost accidentally unfollowed you bc i was too busy freaking out. i am in love w you and your content and how quickly and gorgeously you pump out a+ content. youre one of the reasons why i love being on this hellsite thank you for being a pillar of this fandom 🥰💖✨

@koolabjamun aahana darling youre so incredible. you have such a big heart and are central to so many world-changing community bonding things here. im literally always so fucking in awe of you and proud to be your moot. keep being such an iconic human ill try my best to support you ✨💖✨

@seoksjin ellie i kid you not if those hp moving pics were a thing irl, i would print every single one of your gifs out and hang them on the walls. every time you gif jin i ascend to the 7th dimension i astral project to alpha centauri i literally melt into a non-newtonian solid. thank you for being such a jintegral part of being a jin stan🥺😳🥰

@blondesuga melissa if i could marry your giffing style i would. your coloring on your gifs are so fantastic im just permanently shedding heart shaped tears when i see your content. anyways ill be permanently moving to your seokjin boyfriend gifs this has been my written advance notice 😳😋🤣

@taejinnies anj im very much in love with your sexy fifth dimension unable to be perceived by mere mortals galaxy brain. your content is so unique and beautiful and funny and iconic i just. god. im literally one ill adviced chaosing away from getting down on one knee tbh ✨💍✨

@rosebowl sharika hello its me the girl who is very much in love w you. your 100 days of jin is partially why im just barely hanging onto my sanity and also constantly on this hellsite. i love seeing you in my notes and on my dash its such an honor being your moot thank you for being loving and iconic 🥺🥰✨

@jihopes jules youre just such a warming loving iconic talented cornerstone of this fandom thank you for tagging me in your tag games and being so funny and iconic and casually one of the most talented people i know mwah 💖😳😎

and lastly: thank you to everyone following this chaotic mess of blog and interacting w me even tho im shy and get flustered easily 🥺🥺🥺 seeing you on my dash and in my activity honestly makes all of tumblrs flaws and malfunctions worth it i love you ✨✨

[viostormcaller]

Thinking about it, it kinda sucks just how little new horizons has.

Like... I love the game to pieces and maybe this is just bc im in a shitty mood (which i am) but like... god this is gonna be long and ranty and I'm sorry in advance that mobile tumblr doesnt have the read more feature

For starters, holidays are all scheduled on the company's terms, meaning in 7+ years or so there will be no more in-game holidays because by then they'll probably be thinking about/getting ready to release the next installment of the series on whatever console is out at the time and they won't want to update new horizons anymore. And adding onto this, you need the internet to download the updates. What happens to the players who don't have internet?? Can they just never experience the holidays like bunny day and toy day and turkey day? That takes a HUGE part of the fun of the series out right off the bat. Sometimes making everything rely on the internet is a bad idea. Idk if anyone can like tell me if having no internet means you can't take part in the holidays, but like... god if that's true thats really sad.

They recently took out the hybrid flower and big fish islands, which makes no sense whatsoever why they would do that to a game that has so little, but ok?? It's not like that feature was hindering the gameplay any

There's a lot of furniture but Not a Lot of Furniture, you get me? They took out EVERY set except the classic set (renamed "antique") that you can buy for an insanely high price, and the log and wooden block sets that you can craft, but other that that it's all unrelated items that aren't part of any set, aside from the cute set and diner and throwback sets which as far as I can remember are the only other sets you can buy in the game. No alpine, no ranch, no minimalist, no princess or gracie, no modern or sleek, none of that. And 90% of all the buy-only furniture in the game is just the color variants. You can't even customize them! And it's hard as fuck to find the color variants you want, much less for completing a furniture set

And speaking of which, your starting villagers don't get their default house interiors. Your first three + your two starters from the tutorial days have the same generic layouts. You NEVER see what their houses are supposed to look like, and even if you give them the wallpaper and flooring they're supposed to have (if you figure that out online somewhere), their house doesn't change (I tested this with Sherb and was kinda disappointed).

And stuff is so EXPENSIVE. I know it adds a challenge but my final loan was NEVER 1 mil+ bells in New Leaf. And you can't even expand the extra first floor rooms you get. I'm literally getting less for WAY more. The biggest rooms you get are the basement and upstairs rooms. The first floor rooms aside from the main room really don't have a lot of space and with the different furniture they DO offer, I don't have a lot of room to put things in. But it's not like I can even afford it anyway -- just a freaking air conditioner was 63,000 bells. In New Leaf it was 2500. That's a MASSIVE jump. And the kitchen items are so freaking expensive, as well.

And speaking of houses, for someone who was literally in the real estate industry in the last game, tom nook adds very few house exterior options. And the even more shitty thing is that a lot of the colors straight up don't match. They couldn't even add a plain white roof.

God and the fucking DIY recipes. I know I've said this before on my other tumblr but the RNG for this game is the worst I've ever fucking seen. There is no reason why, two months into the game, I can be given a recipe for a simple DIY bench, which EVERYONE LEARNS IN THE TUTORIAL. Who the fuck am I giving it to?! No one, because literally every player knows it already, and you can't gift diy recipes to villagers! And I keep getting repeats of recipes. My villagers give me fruit DIYs all the time, it's so rare for me to get any new ones. And two days in a row I've gotten the recipe for the deer head mount thing from the same villager. New recipes should 100% take the priority before repeats. This game is slow paced, sure, but that's just frustrating. It doesn't make me excited to learn more recipes, it makes me feel like I'm never gonna learn any new ones because I'll get the same fruit DIYs for a week straight.

And speaking of which, you can't put trees, bushes, or flowers in your storage, which to me makes literally no sense. I can fit a giant ass fountain in my storage but I can't put a flower plant? Really? And speaking of storage, for a game that added 300 whole slots for mail instead of the usual 10, I will never understand why they decided to halve the amount of items a player can order a day from the nook shopping, AND make it so that it takes a whole day to get there instead of making deliveries at 9 am and 5 pm like in New Leaf.

And the fact that they made it so hard to get non native fruit and flowers and shit??? Like they at LEAST added Lief so flowers aren't as much of an issue anymore, but you actually have to travel to other people's islands just to get all the fruits?? I know you have to do the same thing in New Leaf but the reason why this is an issue for me is because you have to pay for online access, meaning most of those nook miles for planting all the fruits are locked behind a paywall unless your villagers can gift them to you. And your mom, when you first start the game, has a chance of giving you the one fruit that's on the non-native fruit mystery island, meaning you'll only get ONE new fruit and not two separate ones (for example, my sis got pears from mom but her non native fruit islands have cherries i believe. I got pears from mom and my fruit islands also have pears. Doesnt help that that's the one fruit i hate lmao). They also took OUT a bunch of fruits, like mangoes, durians, lemons, bananas, lychees, persimmons...

And the fact that your nook miles rewards are ISLAND LOCKED. That is the WORST SHIT. Not everyone has the ability to play with others, bc no internet or no money for the subscription every month. Not everyone WANTS to play with others bc maybe they get social anxiety (like me, which is why i havent asked for things that are impossible for me to get even though i want them for my island or house), or maybe they simply just don't want to. But the fact that each island has their own color variants of the same goddamn rewards that CANNOT BE CHANGED makes me so upset. I do not want nor should I have to rely on others to get the items I want because my game doesn't have my preferred color variations. And it's not like I'm far enough in the game to have anything worth trading for said items, nor do I have the bells.

And Isabelle does next to fucking nothing and I'm really irked about how they made her character in this game. Yeah she's cute, but that's ALL she is. She became more ditzy than anything else. She doesn't let you know about visitors in the town or the plaza or if a bridge or incline was built bc of a completed donation goal. Like really useful info to know would be if Flick or CJ is in town or who is selling stuff in the plaza. Flavor text is nice but if that's all you say 24/7 it loses its charm. In New Leaf she was helpful and hardworking and super focused and on top of things. Idk why they changed that aspect of her. I know her role in New Horizons isn't as big as it was in New Leaf, but still.

And then there's glitches that STILL haven't been patched (as far as I know anyway), like the game-breaking villager corruption glitch (which you'd think nintendo would have made a priority but they're too busy removing other features it seems) or the house exterior glitch.

And it's bad enough that your game saves to your fucking system a la Fantasy Life. But even WORSE, no one can have separate islands on one console. It's not enough to own two copies of New Horizons. Each player has to own one copy of the game and a whole new Switch just so they can play on their own islands. Parents can't usually afford that (aka $360 for each kid give or take) so for a game marketed towards kids, I don't know why they thought that was a smart move (well, I DO know, and that's because money, but still). And to top it all off, cloud saves are not supported normally. If you lose your game or your switch and aren't subscribed to nintendo online, well, it looks like all your progress is gone! And there's nothing you can do about it. And they directly claimed that they did this just so people can't manipulate the game because it's supposed to be played in real time. But people can still fucking time travel by setting the system's clock! They achieved nothing except to make the players frustrated!!! If you make a game you need to accept that the player is going to play how THEY want to. You shouldn't try to make everyone conform to the way YOU want them to play. That just makes you a controlling asshole and the game loses a lot of its fun.

This game was 60 bucks and they took so long to make it and we ended up with less than we got in New Leaf. The main thing they gave us was a shit ton more clothing items (which I really like). Like I said, I love this game to pieces and it's actually one of my favorite games right now. There's so much I love about it -- I certainly don't hate it or anything. But this game has SO MANY flaws, a lot of which are needless. And I think the kid in me just misses the days where you can pay for a game and get the whole game right away. No updates in tiny batches, no content locked behind paywalls, no day one patches, no reliance on internet connection and multiplayer... mainstream companies have all gone really downhill with that shit and it just disappoints me to no end. But because Nintendo is kid-oriented, I think that's where it hurts the most. It was supposed to be accessible, family friendly fun like back during the days of the Wii and the DS. But companies get so wrapped up in competing with each other and trying to make the most money that they forget about all that. I dunno. It just sucks.

If you read all this, god damn I'm surprised XD I got super ranty and I apologize. But I'm in a sad mood and I after learning about features they've taken out I just had to get all this off my chest. It's been weighing on me since the game released, especially since for months prior this game was all I could think about and I was really looking forward to it. It just let me down in a lot of ways, I guess.

[crying-overit-all]

logging onto tumblr to post about halston right now. ive been in a rut of depression to be honest. its been like this for two weeks. ive been so uninspired. ive barely (re)blogged anything within the past two weeks and thats been my cry topic over the past two days. i just dont feel inspired like i used to. and this is relevant because halston put stars in my eyes - at least it felt like it. seeing the beautiful costumes, set designs, cinematography and of course, ewan mcgregor, one of my favorite actors on my screen was something i really needed. one of my biggest interests is costume design and historical dress, but ive lost some interest over the past month and that makes me feel so lost. after watching halston though, i feel like spending hours on pintrest looking through 1960s-1970s magazines, cars and of course outfits. i just feel so stimulated again. of course i cried at the end of the series though. pretty much anything with ewan makes me cry tbh LOL. if not that then i just get very emotional and feel strongly towards the film. at the end when he was just looking off into the ocean and describing how he felt/feels toward the color blue - that was just so beautiful to me. i havent seen the ocean in so long and i miss it so much. i always feel at home when i hear the waves crash and look into the blue horizon. so yea, that scene was just very powerful to me. i highly recommend, especially if youre into costume design. its only five episodes so you can watch it within a few hours.

[lynxandbadger]

yo whats up yall its sure been a hot minute since i logged onto this account lol

is phandom tumblr still like ,,, active ,, ????

i havent watched any dnp vids for so long omg 😩 actually thats a lie i was watching some old school dnp games the other day aldskfjasldfj i miss dnp like fuck my dudes theyve been part of my life for over seven (7) years now and thats an entire third of my life what the fUCK

anyway with all the shit going on all over the world (u know the thing) im home and doing nothing so you mAy just see a bit more of me idk whomst knows we’ll see i doubt theres anyone left on my blog who will see this but like if u are hey hmu im bored 😩 i probably wont reblog anything ill just like ,, lurk ,, maybe make an edit or two ,,, idk ,,,

actually theres a big project that ive wanted to do for so long that maybe ill try to do while were all here chillin online waiting to see how things turn out

if any of you are reading this and are active on phandom tumblr let me know if you like wanna help me out by like idk telling me how the state of phannie tumblr is these days and some other stuff idk fam i just barely remembered this idea a few minutes ago and it was never a well fleshed out plan or even a plan at all really just a vague idea that i wanted to try because im BORED AS FUCK and im back to being at home on the internet just like i was in my peak tumblr years 😩😩😩😩

okay this is long ill wrap it up now bye bye yall hope youre all doing well

xoxo eloise

[jenonctcity]

Hi! I just recently logged back onto tumblr (after like...3 years? I think), and I found your writing. I must say that I ABSOLUTELY LOVE YOUR WRITING!!!!! I'm sorry I havent reblogged much, but first I have to reorganize my blogs and fix my tags (and block old "friends") But I DEFINITELY WILL REBLOG AND SPREAD YOUR AMAZING WRITING!!! I just wanted you to know, and thank you for sharing your work, I will fix my stuff to spread my love for your work ASAP! -😍😘💚 M__________ anon

Hey! Wow that’s so long since you’ve been on tumblr!! I’ve been on here for the past 8 years without a break 😂😂 thank you!!! Wow that amount of support makes me super happy! 💜💜

[7scorpion]

Basically Arthur x Micah

Sorry guys i really wanted to write this fic but i got tired halfway thru because i started focusing on my oc a little bit... its kind of messy since i havent written in a while but its basically that

also i only post on tumblr mobile so im preemptively apologizing for the non read-more'd post

Rated R to be safe

Cowboy hatefic

"Talk to me Cowpoke." That old, not quite as southern accent hummed from above a dim oil lamp. Leaning shoulders onto the post of Arthur's tent, Micah set a downcast glance from the brim of his leather hat. Eyes searching the warm, glistening-- pathetic, 'brother' before him. He caught his own thoughts again. His wide, well used palms gripping the edge of his cot upon hearing his voice, strong, but still so ... entrancing?

"Now what? Can't you see I'm busy?" Curtly, Arthur shot back, accompanied by his most serious face.

A chuckle, or two, then Micah sighs again "Ain't you never heard of courtesy? I'm asking you to talk. You can't come back from a job in a huff, causin' a scene and NOT expect Dutch to send someone to check on 'ya" He lied.

Micah came to see Arthur on his own accord. Something always stirred him when Arthur was enraged. Wether it be his incessant comments causing it, or, some unfortunate crossing the big lug's path the wrong way. Micah's seen him shout until he was red in the face, and it sent shivers up his spine. It infuriated him, but he had never had a better orgasm in his life thinking about that deep reverberating shout. The way his lips pulled back over his teeth, his blue eyes lighting with impulsiveness, nearly feral. It was almost a bonus for Micah, knowing from the moment he touched himself to the thought, he had to wind Arthur up constantly. Just to hear that deep visceral sound again.

"Really. Dutch, sent YOU. Of all people, to discuss this with ME." Arthurs voice raising just in that little accusatory tone, had gotten Micah to swing up straight, locking eyes with Arthur. "Oh yeah, Cowpoke. Why? You tellin' me I'm not your favorite around here?" Thick sarcasm, the usual cadence out of Micah's lips as it peels into a grin. A disgusted grunt from Arthur is returned; rejection. It helps with the process, Micah tells himself.

Arthur stands from his cot, clothes unfold from his chest. Dark eyes lock on the little bit of chest hair peeking from Arthur's linen that drives Micah wild. There was something so dainty about him? Beautifully male. Micah stirs his hips again, adjusting his growing discomfort.

Arthur steps closer, eyes meet. Micah shoots his glance down for a moment, he cant stand it for long. Piercing eyes, sad, wonderful - Vile. He gives a low growl at Arthurs new position.

"Git on. I'm not dealing with your shit right now." The words fall out of Arthurs mouth with such certainty, and Micah disliked that.

Detouring around Arthur's pitiful excuse for a blockade, Micah steps to his cot feeling welcome to a seat.

"You think yer being funny? What do you want from me?" Arthur half pleaded, now standing over Micah as he was before, watching the rat bastard make himself comfortable. This was one of Micah's favorite angles to view his Cowpoke, with his strong jaw highlighted by the lamp. Thank the Lord he isn't married.

Micah shook his head. "Well, who do you think you are coming into camp like a bat out of hell?" Micah halfheartedly pitched back, as it was all he could think of.

Plain desperate to continue on. Still dazzled by the beads of sweat on Arthurs cheek. He watched his blue eyes roll like they were falling out of his head, so clearly over what Micah intended to 'pull'.

"Please, not now. I really don't have time for this." Arthur groaned, before collecting his gun belt from his chest. "I'm going for a ride, be gone when I'm back." With that, the younger cowboy sauntered to his horse and saddled up. To ride his stress away until sunset. Micah sat enraged. Utterly boiling. His plan turned, and it hasn't worked in weeks. This was his final attempt to get that sweet release from hearing Arthur raise his voice. Weeks had gone by and the man nearly seemed passive, Micah couldn't get a rise, not even out of himself. Micah left Arthurs tent dejected, he needed something new. Simple wordplay wasn't working anymore. Striding to the campfire, Micah mulled his plans and options, for him it was dire. He held his open palms over the fire, squat on a log, eyes glossed in thought. Oblivious to the negging of the stragglers at the evening fire. Nearly desperate for a piece of Arthur's emotion.

Hours feel like days. Sitting, waiting, checking of pocket watches. The sun had gone down nearly two hours ago. Revelers of the camp were loudly singing, mostly out of tune. Micah had sequestered himself as usual at a table, whittling to pass time. His final decision was simply, to try again. Maybe this time he would break the camels back and get a rise. A deep sigh. Relief at the thought of being able to feel it again. To himself, Micah hoped at least some of the campers would be asleep by that time. He lit a cigarette and took a deep drag, closing his eyes. Desperately trying to reconjure the image of Arthur in his mind. Shouting for his life. Wonderful, wild, absolutely intoxicating.

"Mister Bell." A familiar low, drawl, dripping with honey drifts through Micahs ear. Eyes open in a flash, and dart upwards to the source; his cowpoke walking past him, with a relaxed grin.

Waves of disappointment overtook Micah. Arthur was calm, his plans were ruined. Stunned silence was exchanged, Micah's eyes darted back to his cigarette. Moments passed in thought before the cigarette was thrust between his lips and pulled to the end, nearly burning his fingers. Micah tossed the ember laden paper to the ground and tailed after Arthur, blind from his disappointment turned rage.

Arthur stood in his tent, wiping his face of the few beads of sweat with his back turned. Unaware of Micah's steam whistle mouth coming up behind him.

"Who do you think you are coming up to me like that!" Micah shouts down at the other man, causing him to whip around on his boot heel. Arthur's face twisted to a look of confusion and offense, he wasn't even aware he'd done anything.

"What in the hell are you talking about?" Arthur argues, in a lower voice, noticing Hosea had laid down for the night a few feet away after joining the small festivities. Micah shoved Arthur forward with a strong right arm, extracting the wind from his chest for a moment. Just like that, Arthur's mood turned. He thrust his arms forward and shoved Micah down.

Trying to catch himself, Micah grasped for anything. The post, the table, then, the ties to Arthur's canvas tent and tumbled to the ground. They barely noticed the canvas had fallen around them before they continued to throw punches inside of Arthur's tent. There was a limit to this Cowpoke's patience and Micah was finding it every time.

"I don't have time for this!" Arthur shouts before landing his beautiful, horrible fist into Micah's face. He sat above Micah attempting to restrain him. "What in the hell is wrong with you?!" Strained shouting through gritted teeth. Upon hearing which, Micah needed to adjust his hips under Arthur to accommodate his new rise.

Noises of resistance, grunts and shouts ensued before Micah found an opening. Arthur slipped on Micah's hips and felt something jab him, for a moment he was sure he was stabbed. With a swift motion, Micah flipped his favorite cowpoke onto his back, a new angle. He'd never seen this perspective before, his Adam's apple so pronounced, cheekbones... that chest. Nearly losing his advantage staring into Arthur's flesh, he resettles firmly, pressing the young man's arms over his head. "Now tell me why you do this to me." Micah uttered words he never thought he would. He felt as though he exposed himself for what he was. Obsessed. "Oh, you just cant help yourself, sick bastard." Arthur mumbled through labored breath followed by a low breathy chuckle, his eyes now trained on Micah's pronounced member. It took less than a moment for Micah to return to earth from Arthur basically calling him a freak. Blood pumping and a deep stare, sweat beads forming, deep, deep breaths. Slower and slower.

Lips meet. Fast and sloppy. Arthur's exposed chest shines under his oil lamp, coarse dirty hands grasp and grab at him. "Get naked, pretty boy." Micah growled, crawling upwards and jerking Arthur to his feet by his open shirt. They couldn't keep their hands off each other to do that.

Kissing desperately, chest to chest, the warmth stimulating that little dead part of their soul for passion. Assisted undressing, hats tossed without a care, physical absorption into the act. The world disappeared around them as they fell to Arthur's cot.

Hand jar, petroleum creme. God's gift to horny cowboys without a woman in sight. In this case, horny cowboys with no interest in the women in sight. Much more consumed with seeing how the other reacts to their provided pleasure. Arthur let himself be laid out, and Micah take over. After all Dutch DID want him to start trusting him more.

Not a delicate touch was exchanged as Micah ferociously tore open Arthur's button down and Arthur tossed Micah's hat away. Micah wasted no time, stepping up quickly to undo his current partner's pants, yanking downward without a care. Arthur couldn't complain, he was still wrapped up in all the groping of his various erogenous zones.

He wasn't going to allow himself to be completely nude, after all this was just impulsive and quick. Arthur was also still dwelling on the possibility that someone might be so inclined as to check on them. Though, who really would want to find out the source of those sounds. Micah unstraps his pants, allowing them to fall below his knees, and Arthur's immediately thrown back into the moment.

"You like what you see, pretty boy?" Micah's dark smug chuckle rings in one ear and out the other as he stares at the younger man sat before his hips. Arthur wasn't a man who needed to ask what he had to do next, he coated his hand in the petroleum and got to work.

[i-luvsang]

hi moon!!!!

dont find this creepy but its an old friend of yours and of course im far too scared to switch off anon but maybe you can guess?

i havent logged onto tumblr for weeks now but ive had such drastic changes in my lifestyle that i havent felt the need to either. but at the same time whenever im down or feeling low i think of this platform and i think of the joy that ive felt being here. you were the first person i interacted with, and the first person ive talked to after leaving my account for good.

ive missed you an awful lot. you were the biggest source of comfort to me as a lonely child who was at the lowest point of her life. just talking to you gave me such a feeling of content. when i think about that point of my life i cant help but cry. somehow in a few months i think ive grown up so much.

theres no point to this ask, if only just to check how youre doing. i hope youre happy and having a great time. if theres any sadness i hope youre able to heal from it without hurting too much. i wish you have a beautiful day, everyday.

i love you.

maybe this is too bold but its honest

--TvT

hi hi hi im so so sorry it’s taken me so long to reply, but i wanted to cherish this message a bit and then i went on hiatus but i’m here now!! and this is not creepy or too bold or anything and i can’t tell you how much this message means to me my dear. truly truly, this is all i could wish for in my life, to be someone’s comfort, someone’s warmth, someone’s moon in a cold dark night. and im so happy that it seems you’re feeling better. i really appreciate you checking up on me and i’ll say i’m doing pretty okay. not the best but i’m chugging along haha.

my dearest!! i love you, i love you, i love you. i wish you a beautiful day, week, month, year, because you deserve it and so much more. i hope we can still talk more in the future because i’ve missed you and i really really enjoy talking with you. i love you!!!

[dejaentends]

omg i havent logged onto tumblr in so long :’) i still have mutuals. i only logged on to look in the wolfstar tag :/ 

[enaasteria]

Answered Asks // 2

Under the cut~~~

Anonymous said to enaasteria: April 15th 2017, 9:14:00 pm · 6 months ago Ok, don't answer to this because I will not see it anyway. I was @jamlesspyo and I say was because when you'll see this my blog will already be deleted, personnal reasons. So I want to tell that you are one of the most amazing writer I had the chance to read a story of. You are also the sweetest person so thank you so much. I hope that one you will have enough confidence in yourself because you deserve it so much. Love you and stay healthy

I will answer this bc you might come back and I’ll def miss you. Thank you for all your warm encouragement and help throughout my struggles and I couldn’t have asked for a better reader/friend. Miss you and wishing you all the best!

Anonymous said to enaasteria: April 20th 2017, 10:59:00 pm · 6 months ago you might not read this for awhile and when you do you don't have to reply, but i just wanted to tell you that all of your writing here is beautiful and amazing! finishing your story is so worth waiting for and i can't wait to read the ending! thank you for sharing your writing!

You might not think this after you read chapter 16. It’s a kind of flargh chapter but needed to be in there so T_____T I’m kinda nervous about it but hopes everyone enjoys and feel it was worth the wait.

Anonymous said to enaasteria: April 23rd 2017, 1:14:00 am · 5 months ago Freaking heck, you are an amazing and professional writer!!! I'm reading through Apartment 5108 now and I can't think of words even close to satisfactory enough to compliment your writing!! All the best for your writing and future endeavours! :)

Ahhhhhh you are too kind to me. Thank you so much for reading and no worries. please don’t stress over what to write or compliments because I enjoy any kind of feedback tbh. Spazz messages are the best!

@sassyunicorns2​ said to enaasteria: May 11th 2017, 8:31:00 am · 5 months ago I won't lose hope! I know you can do it, because you are an amazing writter and you always have great ideas!!! I am here in the other part of the world cheering for you! 🙌 FIGHTING!! 💪👊 P.S.: I'm sorry for the errors.

I hope you enjoy this chapter and thank you so much for your continued support. It means so much to me and I’m so glad you love this story!

@whosexo​ said to enaasteria: May 11th 2017, 3:57:00 pm · 5 months ago SEND 💖 THIS 💖 TO 💖 THE 💖 FIFTEEN 💖 NICEST 💖 PEOPLE 💖 ON 💖 TUMBLR 💖 IF 💖 YOU 💖 GET 💖 5 💖 BACK 💖 YOU 💖 MUST 💖 BE 💖 PERFECT 💖 Miss you hope you're doing amazing!!

No words can amount to how much i love you too! I apologize for my year long disappearance. I’m a terrible person. UGH. But I shall blame it on work and daily stress. T___T Hope you are well too, love!

@dream-exo-fantasy said to enaasteria: May 11th 2017, 3:58:00 pm · 5 months ago SEND 💖 THIS 💖 TO 💖 THE 💖 FIFTEEN 💖 NICEST 💖 PEOPLE 💖 ON 💖 TUMBLR 💖 IF 💖 YOU 💖 GET 💖 5 💖 BACK 💖 YOU 💖 MUST 💖 BE 💖 PERFECT 💖 (A side message: I hope you're not stressing too much about writing. Take your time and stay healthy 💕)

You are the sweetest and thank you so much. 2017 was unfortunately the most stress filled year i’ve ever experienced but hopefully the latter end will treat us all better, yeah? T.T

Anonymous said to enaasteria: May 12th 2017, 1:46:00 am · 5 months ago wah yay! okay take your time! i (and many others) can't wait to see your masterpiece! 💕

Love you!

Anonymous said to enaasteria: May 20th 2017, 12:32:00 am · 5 months ago So I was wondering did ahri told sehun about what happened to her while sehun went after jiyul like she drank the juice and was taken to hospital or did sehun already knew or anyone told him bc I think you didn't mention that?..

Soi definitely told him---actually her wrath probably yelled at him and was infuriated with his poor actions. he probably got scolded by everyone tbh.

Anonymous said to enaasteria: May 29th 2017, 6:07:00 pm · 4 months ago Youre probably busy with apartment 5108 but i really hope you do come back to keepers! Chapter 1 left me on edge and im still eagerly waiting for the next part!! Much love sent your way❤️❤️❤️

I CANT WAIT FOR KEEPERS. I want to write it two ways but I might just do two endings bc I’m a sap and a total angst fest lol

Anonymous said to enaasteria: June 5th 2017, 8:41:00 pm · 4 months ago enaaaaaaa i miss yoooooouuuuuuuuu ):<

I MISS YOU TOOOOOOOOOOOO

@unsungthoughts said to enaasteria: June 5th 2017, 9:19:00 pm · 4 months ago Apartment 5108. I'm beyond in love w this story! I was so into the story to the point where I could literally feel everything, the emotion esp. It is truly an amazing piece of writing. I'm new here (since yesterday and just finished 5min ago) --cont.cont.-- and yet to explore ur other stories, which I will definitely do cz I LOVE YOUR WRITING SO MUCH 💕

You make me blush! I’m so happy you enjoyed this story and I’m glad it made you feel things. I hope 16 treats you well and that you’re having a great time on tumblr! welcome, welcome. AND I LOVE YOU TOO

Anonymous said to enaasteria: June 15th 2017, 11:47:00 pm · 4 months ago power through love! you got this! 👏🏽👏🏽

I was jamming to POWER as I wrote this chapter. Lord knows I needed the help. orz

Anonymous said to enaasteria: June 23rd 2017, 2:25:00 pm · 3 months ago this is kinda random but Charlie puth's Attention reminds me of Red 😅

Imma go listen to this and add it to the playlist! TY ANON!

Anonymous said to enaasteria: June 24th 2017, 11:31:00 pm · 3 months ago ena, i just wish you can fathom 1/16 of the greatness you've omitted onto the exo fandom. you're writing is absolute perfection. fandom writers are just not appreciated enough! you're art is just as important than the art exo creates. you are able to create a story and a character. just think about that. a person and their life. real or not, you've created a character all of us can relate to in one way or another. i hope you keep finding joy in what you do and never lose this passion. 🌺

I remember reading this message 3 months ago and it made me want to cry. Thank you so much for your kind words and thank you for appreciating fanfiction as an art form. I think this writing is such a lost art and people don’t appreciate the time and effort going into a story. But reading this made it so worth it and thank you so much for your kindness!

Anonymous said to enaasteria: July 7th 2017, 7:22:00 am · 3 months ago Omg i just followed you now bcs of apartment 5108 and others too. Geez why i havent discovered you then?! Seriously for me its really hard to find fanfic that matches with my reading style gosh its pretty damn well written and you succesfully made me feel like im the character. You mess my feeling hun'. You did it. Seriously youre one of the best writer i ever known in tumblr. Im looking forward to ch 16 and others too. I hope u doing well!!!! Lots of love from your lovely reader💛

Thank you so much for your kind words! It’s such a huge compliment to see you hold my writing to such a high regard and I hope this next chapter doesn’t disappoint. I’m so glad you like it and please let me know what you think of the rest of the chaps!

Anonymous said to enaasteria: July 7th 2017, 12:45:00 pm · 3 months ago I've been following you for about a year now and DAMN HOW I LOVE YOU. Its been a year since you last updated Apartment 5108 but you still log in to check on your fans. Writers block is an ass but all you need is some inspiration and then you'll be firing away with the Seahri feels. or Ahrun feels. However you decide to ship them. Also Chanyeol is my fav and the fic you wrote called Two killsss meee. THANK YOU! Also, I'm Egyptian. Pretty cool knowing you have international readers eh?

I’m so sorry you’ve had to wait so long for a chapter!!! It’s so amazing how there are international people reading this and I can’t thank you enough for your kindness and also for sending me this comment but ALSO SEAHRI. LIKE THIS KILLS ME AND ITS SO CUTE AND ADORABLE.

Anonymous said to enaasteria: July 7th 2017, 1:56:00 pm · 3 months ago Hey Ena! Just wanted to tell you that I literally open your page every single day (its been 3 months LOL) , just to check if there's any update for apt5108, no rush but that just show how much i adore your work, i just freakin' love your story! I never felt so desperate waiting for the next chapter.. but I believe good things take a long time, and I believe your work could be one of the good things, even better the best thing!! Love, Your biggest fan💕

IM SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT. I don’t know what to say other than this year has been a mess and a true struggle but I dearly wanted to write this chapter and forced myself to do it and post today. I’m so sorry if it wasn’t worth the wait but hopefully it’s a good continuation to their story T____T

@sehun---addict said to enaasteria: July 20th 2017, 10:07:00 pm · 3 months ago Personally i would rather wait until you finish the story and post it in one go bcs waiting game for each chap is pure torture . Much love♡

I wish I could’ve posted it all but 16 nearly killed me to just finish so I hope this is a good chapter to hold you off until 17 T___T

Anonymous said to enaasteria: July 20th 2017, 10:14:00 pm · 3 months ago In reference to your tag in the previous ask- I think posting the chapters as you finish them would be preferable for me. That way I wouldn't have to wait as long for another update? But I'm wondering if writing it all and posting it generally at one point would be easier on you, so that it could kind of be one and done. Either way, I appreciate you taking the time to write this story! You are so incredibly talented and I find it so kind that you take time out of your day to write.

16 is going up soon. I hope you enjoy it and I’m so sorry for the wait. Thank you for your patience and I hope you read with low expectations because I’m a bit nervous about this chapter. It’s excruciatingly long T.T

Anonymous said to enaasteria: July 20th 2017, 11:46:00 pm · 3 months ago please post 16 when it's finished! that way we can have a new chapter at a time to enjoy!

It’s going up!

Anonymous said to enaasteria: July 23rd 2017, 4:47:00 am · 2 months ago I know I'm late but about the end of appartment 5018 I'm really curious about Polaris. Will it be build ? Will it be insignifiant ? I really like it so yeah that's what I'm most curious about :)

This will be addressed in 17! :D

Anonymous said to enaasteria: August 2nd 2017, 9:53:00 pm · 2 months ago same anon who recommended moondust~~ i have another one for you ena ^^ it's the house we never built by gabrielle alpine <3 best of luck on the story!

Imma check this out after I answer these messages and add it to my playlist! Thank you so much!

@yoruu-gen said to enaasteria: August 21st 2017, 1:01:00 pm · a month ago Happy Fanfic Writers Appreciation Day to my most favorite fanfic author in existence ❤ Apt 5108 is by far the best thing I've read on this website and I look forward to continue stalking your Google Docs 👀 I'm so thankful that you pulled me out of the writer's block abyss and I hope I won't disappoint in the future lol. Thanks for always being such a great friend and for always dying with me about our biases 😅 Love u lots~~

YOUUUUUU. I LOVE YOU. I also thank you so much for helping me with this chapter. You are such an inspiration and I know you feel like you’re not that great of a writer but honestly---you are one of the two I really, truly, look up to on this platform. I always enjoy your words, your stories, YOUR STRUGGLES with your biases but also so thankful for your friendship. 

Anonymous said to enaasteria: August 26th 2017, 9:36:00 am · a month ago Red is my favorite fic and it impacted me so much in a way i can only be thankful. Getting away of a one-side love relationship was really a big choice i should have made before but it's really scary to do so. Reading Red helped me aknowledge what i was doing to myself after denying it for too long and i finally decided to take care of myself for once. So i'm thankful because your amazing way of using words helped me realize i should do what's better for me and no one else. Take care of yourself

Red is honestly one of my favorites too. It was so easy to write (compared to apt) hahaha and although Sehun wasn’t a good character in it, I enjoyed the progression of how real the characters were? Like---this happens in real life and not all things end happily with rainbows and butterflies. It is a struggle to see a person go through something like this but it’s also a testament to their character and their willpower to walk away from it and say when they’ve had enough. I hope you’re doing well, anon.