#i havent watched one punch man in a hot minute

[ragingtwilight]

gonna stream, wondering if i should stick on more penny, start one punch man, or continue with songs what would u guys want?

[dr3amofagame]

Sooo... how about that reveal that c!Sam wasn’t feeding c!Dream? I mean, we all knew it was coming, but still. The auto food dispenser probably broke or smtg bc when c!Sam came down, c!Dream asked if he was there to give them potatoes. (Also with him being shaken up by learning c!Tommy is alive, c!Sam might not remember or care to feed c!Dream, who has none of his stores of potatoes left.) So, assuming the dispenser is broken and he doesn’t know, why would he come down in the first place? 🟩⛏?

hello anon !! yeah that reveal ,, dang, we already knew that c!sam had presumably been starving c!dream, but to see not only c!dream but c!sam confirm it as well as it having lasted AT LEAST a week ,, d a n g . they are Not pulling any punches in this arc (which, i mean, judging on the q stream, isnt exactly surprising anymore,, but still)

in the prison guard stream, we see how the dispenser works - it’s not automatic as much as it’s remote, as c!sam or the prison guards still need to press a button in order to dispense food. he also says “i havent even been around to feed the prisoner” or something along those lines in tommy’s stream, so we can conclude that the decision to deprive c!dream of food after c!tommy’s death is INTENTIONAL,, which i mean. again. yikes. 

anyway, here’s a snippet of c!dream finding out that the “automatic” feeder isnt as automatic as he might’ve thought - here, the dispenser + crying obsidian are installed at around the same time, so it’s between bad and sapnap’s visit

tw: starvation, disordered eating, abuse, mental illness, self-hatred, toxic relationship, gaslighting, disturbing imagery, dark content, c!sam/warden!sam critical (again, be careful with the content warnings)

Dream stares up at the hole in the obsidian, barely able to make out a glint of metal in the dark chute. The dispenser, just as expected, doesn’t respond to his glare, refuses to whir and click in the way that indicates food, and Dream bites his tongue, mumbles curses under his breath.

“Prick,” he blows a breath through his gritted teeth, only more irrationally angry when the dispenser, as expected, ignores him. “Some automatic dispenser, Warden.”

The walls don’t respond. Nothing responds, here, besides the dark dark thoughts swirling in his brain, and he thinks he’d prefer it if those didn’t - or maybe he doesn’t, because company is company, even if said company is the same litany of blood anger revenge pain you deserve this you deserve all of this you have destroyed the world now lie in the bed you have made pounding at the base of his skull. He drags his hand down his face; every minute is an hour, and every hour is a minute. Time has no meaning when your only frame of reference is eternity.

Even so, even he can tell that it’s been a long time since he’s had food, even by his usual standards - several days, at least, because the ever-present ache of hunger in his gut had swelled into something angrier, demanding, no longer as easy to ignore. Another stabbing round of pain nearly sends him to his knees, and just as he always he does, he clings to the feeling, gathers it into his hands, grabs it by the edges and directs the sharp edges into the words he spits at the indifferent walls. Let the Warden hear him - what can he possibly do?

Just as it always does, the fury in him peters out, drains, leaves him alone in the middle of his cell. He sinks the ground, arms wrapped around his stomach; a part of him wants to laugh at the irony. Some people think of silence as emptiness, void; he knows now that it’s anything but. Silence is suffocating, thick, so present that anything he says seems to get lost within it seconds after leaving his mouth. It grows and pushes into his limbs, becomes a weight tied around his throat, expands into the air in his lungs like a slowly inflating balloon until it’s pressed into every corner and space of the cell, every corner and space of him, taking up so much room that he can hardly breathe around it.

The hunger hollows him out, and the silence fills the space that’s left; Dream wonders how much more there is for him to lose before he’s completely empty, just a husk filled with the same liquid misery that drips down the walls. He wonders if anyone would care- laughs. As if.

“Dream.” The intercom crackles; Dream perks up at the voice, spine straightening against his will, and his hands tighten into fists as he realizes - prime, how pathetic is he, now? The voice deepens, becomes more insistent. “Prisoner.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m here. Or maybe I’m not; you better come and check, yeah?” A humorless smile tugs at his lips, and a static-filled sigh comes through the speaker.

“This isn’t the time for games, Dream.”

Dream rolls his eyes. It’s not exactly the time to be a dick, either, but you don’t see me complaining. A flutter of something warm, joyful, rises in his chest at the sound of something- someone, other than his own voice, and he strangles it with a hand wrapped around his own throat - he won’t let them break him, won’t let himself become desperate enough to crave the attention of a man that hates him - he won’t- he can’t-

“Do you need something? Or were you yelling at the wall for no reason again?” Sam’s voice is steely, indifferent, on a knife’s edge between apathy and anger. “Don’t waste my time, prisoner.”

Dream bites down the snarky reply sitting on his tongue, breathes in, out through his nose until the fury is no longer blinding.

“Your fancy automatic jig is broken. The potato one. It’s not- working.” The hunger fogs his mind, makes it hard to think. He feels caged and weak and pathetic and he hates it.

“That’s because it’s not automatic.” Footsteps echo on the speakers, Dream tapping along to the rhythm before he realizes and stops himself, and a moment later the familiar whirring and clicking of the metal box comes from behind him and a small pile of potatoes fall down and splash into the water. “There. Is that all?”

Dream feels the fury rise, again, but doesn’t quite to keep the words back, this time.

“So what was the point of the whole automatic feeder, asshole? You’ve changed nothing! What’s the difference between that thing and you coming over to my cell besides that you’ve wasted a couple stacks of redstone? Congratu-fucking-lations, you’re a goddamn genius-”

“It’s remote now, so I don’t have to come into your cell.”

“Oh, so it’s just the good ol’ Warden looking for more ways to make the prisoner suffer, huh? Should’ve figured, you fucking self-righteous prick-”

“Dream.”

His mouth shuts with a click, a flash of fear searing through his muscles, white-hot, and by the time he’s blinked back the ringing in his ears the silence has stolen all the words from him, once again. Pathetic, he screams in his head, but his jaw remains firmly locked in place - the Warden’s won, per usual, and they both know it.

“Is that all?” He sounds impatient. Part of Dream wants nothing more than to never hear his voice again, and the other half of him rails at the idea of being alone with his thoughts once more. All of him hates himself, and all of him hates the silence; they’re the only two constants in this place. “You’ll have to speak up if you want anything.”

“How- long was it, since you last gave food?”

Static for a moment, then another. “It’s only been about a day.”

“Bullshit.”

“You’d know if you took care of your clock instead of destroying it, prisoner.”

“I’d know if you were less of a fucking prick.”

“Behave, and you might get it replaced.” The Warden’s breathing is harsh, almost labored - he must be angrier than Dream thought, then. “Speaking of which, you won’t be getting any for a day after this stunt.”

“Ooh, I’m so scared. It’s not like you don’t do this - what, every other day?”

“Do you want food or not?”

Dream’s teeth grind against each other; he breathes in, out. He hates this, hates the potatoes, hates the Warden, hates himself. Hates the way that a part of him recoils at the thought of making the Warden angry at him, reaches desperately for a chance to earn his clock- his approval. Attachments are weakness, he tells his traitorous heart, knowing that it, as always, will fail to stay away.

“Yes. Thank you.” The pleasantry burns on his tongue, tastes worse than the bitterness of raw potatoes that seems to be the only thing it knows, anymore.

“Good-bye, prisoner. Don’t make me come into the cell.”

The intercom cuts off with a click, the space that the static made immediately filled by silence. Dream watches it blankly, jaw sore from how tight it had been clenched, and begins to work his way through the first potato, nibbling at the pale flesh just enough to tide over the worst of the pain.

This is fine, he tells himself, and the walls stare at him impassively. He’s not sure they believe him.

He’s not sure how much longer he can believe himself.

[iscribble]

pairing | youtuber!renjun x student!reader genre(s) | fluff, slice of life, strangers to potential lovers, college au word count | 1.8k summary | you’re always the type to be punctual, so it takes you by surprise that you’re willing to give up your time for something else - someone else, rather; a stranger.  author’s note | havent written in so long that i just had to put something out there. im really sorry for being so inactive! :( 

An extended but lonely crack slithers down the bathroom mirror, grazing your reflection on the glass that is opaque with moisture. Through the corner of your eye you perceive one-fourth of the aged, spreading tree outside your apartment whenever the old creaking door swings open with the wind. The quiet—but prominent—plop of the water that leaks through the apertures on the pipe hits your ears, and it is only after a while that you find it fills the little space between your toe and the tip of your shoe. The leak doesn’t bother you though. Neither does the crack, nor the random wind gusts. A yellow lip balm bounces in your palm, cap greasy from applying too much on your finger. You would exchange a mere lip balm for a heat pack, but you put it on anyway. The harsh cracks on your lips are now tucked away underneath a tacky layer of cream, and you find it amusing how easily it wears away. 

You are late, for the first time in months. Nothing really bothers you as much as glancing at the clock and seeing its hands where you least expect them to be.

In your defense, it was an afternoon class. You don’t usually have afternoon classes unless your professor needs to reschedule, which, inevitably, resets your agenda for the rest of the day. You, on the other hand, are not used to rescheduling. So when you can’t feel the warm shaft of sunlight skim across your eyelids, instead, only the feeling of cold air brushing past your skin and the faint sound of your alarm, you jolt awake, guilty of sleeping in. You try not blame yourself though—this doesn’t happen everyday and you are still not used to it. 

The station is disposed with a boring facade and a duller interior. The giant vintage clock shows 15:18. The three seater bench still holds too many people.  There is that man with the navy-coloured down jacket behind the counter, uninterested in the regulars who flock to their respective platforms. These are the same sequences, the same faces, like people are helpless boats going with the current. You scrunch up your nose, admitting you are one of them too. 

You make your way inside the train, opting to sit near no one else. It takes a while for you to settle down, but when you do, you catch someone looking at you. Harbor gray coat, brown hair, black mask. You don’t recognise him anywhere on campus. You think maybe he attends one of the afternoon classes, but you don’t assume further. 

15:29.

You leave the train with a spring in your step, but not out of enthusiasm. The familiar crisp white frontage of the building comes into view, your heart skipping a beat as you think of the worst that could happen upon stepping inside the lecture hall. One strap of your tote slides down your shoulder, and just as you are about to pick it up, the other strap goes loose and drags your bag down with it. A couple of coloured pens roll out, you grumble to yourself and crouch down to stop them from rolling any farther. You fail at this, when you turn around to pick up a blue pen and realise that someone else beat you to it. The stranger from the train. 

“Got it,” he chuckles, and you feel embarrassed. He returns your pen, but his eyes don’t stop at your hands. His gaze lowers a short distance, you’re almost sure he’s looking at the brick road beneath you, but you’re not really sure why. When you stand back up he vaguely shakes his head, like he’s been thinking about something else, but you don’t miss it.  

“Thank you,” you say, too fast that it almost sounds insolent. 

“Don’t worry about it,” he returns with a smile behind his mask. “I’m Renjun, by the way.” He extends his hand for you to shake. What’s he doing? Why's he acting like he’s about to proceed with an interview or something?

You learn that he really does want to “interview” you. “I’m a youtuber,” he informs. It is only then that you realise someone else is standing behind him, occupied with a camera. 

“Oh,” you eventually reply, but nothing else. He waits for the typical “that’s cool!” but you are too quiet, Renjun can practically hear someone making a fuss about her peppermint hot chocolate being too hot in the distance. “Do you mind if I ask you a few questions? It’s for a youtube video.” He speaks up. You say nothing at first. Your fingers that hide underneath the rib-knit cuff curl into a ball. You feel the crack that litters your lower lip flaunt itself, the thick lip balm that conceals it long gone. You seem even more conscious of your worn out shoes that somehow feel damper than they already are. Putting your weight on one leg, you try your best to decline him in the most mannerly way possible. 

“I’m really sorry but I’m actually late to class.”

You can’t see his smile but you know it falters. His glasses droop a little, you see the red marks on the bridge of his nose. “I see.” Is all he says. He looks back at his friend and shrugs. “Thank you, anyways.” Your stomach churns. You don’t want to be the reason he leaves empty handed, yet he is leaving, empty handed and all. Somehow, your concern for punctuality slowly withers away.

“No, wait,” you catch his fingers just before he turns the other way. He winces. Not because of the sudden swell of your voice, but because your hands are a little too cold. You steal a glance at the watch on your wrist. 15:32. Renjun finds your eyes. He doesn’t say it, that your hands are too cold, but he takes them in his own, warming them up. Strangely enough, your whole body heats up at the gesture. 

“Class can wait, whatever. What’d you want to ask me?”

Renjun’s eyes all but light up. He signals for his friend to start filming. “Alright, a few questions about college, I’m going to try and guess your major.”

“Oh, that’s new,” you raise an eyebrow. “Did you come up with the idea?”

“Nah,” Renjun laughs, he brings up a hand to push his hair back. “Just following a trend.”

15:33. You nod. “Alright, go on.”

You notice a few things about Renjun. The way he speaks, like you’ve known each other for a long time. The way his hair isn’t exactly brown, rather russet, a little red. When you look closer into his eyes, you see they match his hair. You wish you could see his lips, see if they’re as cracked as yours, if he puts lip balm on a little too much, but the black mask he wears that almost reaches his eyes tells you it’s too early for that. Perhaps, if he lowers the article just a few inches, you’ll understand that the circles beneath his eyes mean that he’s equally as tired as you. He asks you questions, not rushed, and though you are definitely late to class, you couldn’t bring yourself to care anymore.

“Might have an idea,” he looks to the camera tentatively, then back to you. “Chemistry?”

“You’re good,” your compliment reaches his ears. “How’d you guess?”

Renjun punches the air in glee as if he won the lottery. “Honestly, couldn’t get a single clue from what you said. But I saw your Analytical Chemistry book peeking out from your tote when it fell.” 

“Whoops, my bad.” You share a laugh. 

“And as a thank you for the—” he scrutinizes his watch, “—five minutes I just took from your time, this is for you.” A heat pack. You didn’t know how much you needed one until your hands reach for the item almost immediately.

15:38. You squeeze the pad as heat begins to radiate from it. Renjun’s friend lowers the camera as soon as you’re done filming, and it is then that Renjun seems like he has something else on his mind.

“Uhm,” he half-whispers. You look at him, confused. “Your shoes.”

You know what he means. Your shoes leave ambiguous trails of dirt, just slightly. Renjun notices it though. Your shoes are rather soggy, like they were deliberately dipped in water. Traces of soil scatter the outsole, centimetres up and you’ll see a small patch of fabric, sewn on to cover the hole that’s exposing your toes. You tremble slightly, bringing your right foot behind your left in an attempt to hide it from him. No one has ever pointed it out.

“Oh. They’re old, but, they work.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” he scoffs lightly. “Let me buy you new ones.”

“No.” You realise that comes out too abruptly. “Please, that’s really unnecessary.”

15:39.

“You’re late to class,” he reasons with you. “At least let me make it up to you.” The obscure rift on your bottom lip bleeds a little. You like to bite it whenever you feel nervous. Renjun reaches for his phone in the pocket of his ivory trousers and hands it to you. 

“We can go over the details through text,” he subtly looks at his friend, wanting to know if the gesture is okay. “If you don’t mind, of course.”

15:40. You give in. Your fingers are stiff—you realise you’re giving your number to a stranger, so you take some time to secretly ponder over the situation, although you hate to admit Renjun feels more like a new friend. He sends you a message once you give him his phone back just to make sure you get his number. 

“Thank you,” you smile at him. “That’s really kind of you.”

15:41.

You hesitate before a hand comes up to wave at him and his friend, though the heat pack is still crushed between your fingers. Renjun pulls his mask down for the first time, and it would be weird to say you were waiting for it. For his smile. You can perceive through the white fabric whenever it shifts that he is smiling underneath there, but now it’s irrefutable, the evidence that he actually is smiling, and you’re glad that’s the last thing you see before the customary sight moulds into view, once again. 

If someone had told you this morning that you’d be willing to sacrifice your punctuality for a stranger, you’d knock some sense into them. But as you stand before the doors to the lecture hall, phone in your grip as you stare at the cerulean waters you fancy as your lock screen, no, rather, the notification that overlays it “let me know when you’re in class, i feel responsible lol”, the unusual feeling that blooms inside your chest reminds you that you could live a little less orderly and a little more self-willed.

15:43.

You’re thirteen minutes late. Though now, nothing really bothers you as much as not being able to concentrate in class because he’s all you can think about. 

[tomdiddlyumptious]

HEY ANON WHO SENT THIS, I COULD DO EVERYTHING BUT THE SMUT BECAUSE I NEED TO READ INTO IT AND LEARN SOMEMORE, I JUST REPLACED IT WITH CUDDLING!

Warnings: language, arguing? A lil violence to your wrist, weave grabbing and bodyguard running! NOT PROOF READ OR BOLD, IM JUST KINDA LAZY TODAY!

A/n: oh god what did I just write?

T.H| You Shouldn’t Go Out Anymore

We all know he is gonna feel some fuckin way y/n, don’t fight it” your friend said, sipping her cherrie slurpie after you all left the club.

“Well I don’t know what to say, I was fucking around with anyone I was just handlin my own” you let out a ‘tuh’ as you looked out the window.

“This is a man? You have been out since what? 6” your gay best friend stated, handing you your Reese’s as you only rolled your eyes.

“This is your stop, good luck babe, although you can most definitely handle your own” you opened the door as she pulled up, grabbing your stuff and hopped out the door, big ass mistake. You didn’t fall but your knees didn’t agree with you.

As your friends laughed you flipped them off and closed the door, fixing your purse as your heels clanked against the stone, you walked up to the door step, grabbing your keys and putting them in the door, before you could twist it was already opened by you great full.... angry? Boyfriend.

You jerked your head at him and came in the house, taking off your heels and going into your shared room, throwing them in the closet.

“Where’d you go?” He asked from the kitchen, soon angrily coming into the bedroom. “I got caught up in some traffic” “bullshit, where did you go?” “To the club? Why else am I wearing this?” “Why is your hair fucked up?” He asked, looking at your figure. You shrugged “I have no idea” you bit your lip as you walked up to the mirror attached to the closet, trying to unzip yourself. He stood there watching you with his jaw clenched, you could see him but you tried to ignore it your best, it wasn’t happening.

“Thomas what the fuck is your problem?” “My problem? Why are you out so fucking late!?” He raised his voice. “Why? I’m here aren’t I!” You yell back. “Why are you avoiding the fucking question, you fucking cheated didn’t you? Your a fucking slob” “A slob?” You cock your head at him, furrowing your eyebrows. “I AM SOBERRRR!” you yell at him, he only ignores you so you dance around him yelling “soberrrr! I am so soberrrr! What’s 2x2? Fourrrrr”. “Can you be serious for two minutes?” “Not when you don’t know what your fucking talking about, wanna know why I was really late?” You snapped back and he only nodded, you threw the Reese’s at his face “maybe I should’ve cheated on yo dumbass” “fuck you!”

“Haven’t you already? Unzip me” his face all scrunched as he walked up and unzipped you, you turning around and his face so close to your own “I went to the fucking store Thomas, they don’t sell snacks at the club” “did you drink at all?” “No thomas, there was just an achol free club where we all sing Barney, I love you, you love me” you smile, tilting your head to the side. “Well I’ve been sitting in this bed waiting for you” “then wait some more baby, wait some more” he grabbed your wrist pulling you closer, him towering you “look smartass, if you want to go bloody fuck around you can, just stay away from me, you don’t answer your phone, you stay out late, you have the fucking audacity to come home and try to talk to me as if I did something wrong?”

“No I’m actually talking to you like your dumb, because you are, get out of me!” You snatch your wrist back “next time you touch me I swear to god I will punch you square in yo fucking face” you take off your dress and grab your suit case, rubbing your wrist because it hurt, like hell. You know he wouldn’t ever hurt you and maybe he was caught in the moment but you were pissed. You took out all of your clothes and threw them on the side of your bed.

“Where are you going? You don’t have anywhere to go” Tom said, grabbing the clothes on the hangers and putting them back up. “Thomas put my shit down” and one thing you both knew, it is your shit, you bought it because you aren’t one of those types for when the time comes he takes everything that he bought for you.

He hesitated before he put it back on the bed “you aren’t leaving me” “I make my own decisions” you started to fold up your clothes as Thomas left, walking into the livingroom taking in what all happened.

You walked up to the door and slammed it, hissing in pain from the slight sting in your wrist, you only pushed yourself more by folding everything and throwing it in your suit case.

You set it next to the door and sat on the bed “fuck” you whispered to yourself thumbs on your temples and your hands rested on your eyebrows. it isn’t your fucking fault at all and you needed to know that but right now you’ve never ever had these kinds of fights with Tom, it was just about dinner or something petty. You ended up falling asleep.

You woke up and found yourself in the messy bedroom, hangers everywhere and suit case still next to the door. You grabbed your phone from your purse that was also on the floor, calling your friend, Imani.

“Yes” she said, you only bit your lip. “We had a fight” you went to the bathroom and grabbed a towel, “I know” “how?” “It’s Thomas, and your sarcastic as hell” “well I’m leaving” “the house or the man?” “havent talked about it yet” “well you should, I got to go, text me the apartment though” you let out a hum and hung up, turning on the shower to a warm feeling.

You got dressed and flat ironed your hair sitting on your fluffy pink chair that matched your marble vanity. Then he walked in “hey” he whispered. “Hi” you said back, taking out the last section. “Are we like... not together anymore?” He asked, sitting on the bed watching you. “A break” you said, turning back to him as he nodded. “Can I ask why your doing your hair” “no Tom” “okay” his lips in a thin line.

You unpacked your stuff, getting comfy in your new but not replaced home. You were gonna move in with one of your friends at first but them you knew you wanted some alone time for yourself, you scrolled through your explore page on Instagram- stacked with zodiac signs and Evan peters, skinny girls in bikinis, generic ones.

As you scrolled through you thought ‘maybe I should- nah’ you looked in the closet looking at the small bikinis and the tight skirts and tube tops. Sooner or later the door opened revealing-

“Tye? What are you doing here?” You asked, your gay best friend entering. “I’m not the only one, and don’t come over here talking to me like I’m the enemy” “shut up” you stood up and gave him a hug, soon revealing Imani also. “You know for a fact that we was comin over, yo hair is poppin” she said “stiff where?” You shook it, silky.

Over the few days that you’ve been alone Toms been doing actually pretty well, he did miss you of course but he also did freak out and get mad that you weren’t accepting his calls, he didn’t know if you were safe until-

“Stop!” You laughed, currently in the Pool with the most smallest bikini EVER- the hot red just making your skin shine, your hair done, sunglasses on, teeth white, feet done nails done, okay? Everything is done, by your wallet to.

Tye and his muscular lil boo, throwing pretzels at you. “Have fun!” Ray said, “we didn’t take you here for no reason” Tye added both of them sitting down in the seats while you were in the pool, leaning your elbows on the brim “I know!” You lift yourself up, little did you know Imani was taking pictures of you, from behind of course, your ass the main course of the picture, everything about you was just so sexy, like you had a magnet on you that everybody needs to be attached to, but luckily that was Thomas. Did I mention it was a public pool? “Look at Jesus, he’s starring at you” everyone grabbed there black tinted sunglasses, making sure nobody could see yours and your friends eyes you looked. “Sexy” ray said, “nice and hairy, it’s time for a grown man y/n” Imani said, basically dissing Tom because it doesn’t look like he has any hair on his body ‘golden beauty’ as he’d call it.

“I don’t know, what if he’s like a hobo or something?” You said, coming up to Tye and laying down between his legs, resting your head on his pec. “Your right, he might be hairy in the business to” ray commented, making everyone laugh as Tye played with your hair. You smacked your lips as ray took out his phone “stoppp!” You said, knowing what he is doing to embarrass you, he made a boomerang of him zooming in on Jesus, but acting like he was recording himself. He labels it “JESUS?” and posted, making everyone else but you repost it on their story. “Y’all do to much” you sigh, rubbing your forehead.

“What the fuck is this? Jesus?” Tom said, sipping his beer. Looking at Harrison who is trying to hold on a laugh “you might have to fuck some since into her if ya know what I mean” a chuckle leaving his lips. “She isn’t fucking around, just leave her be” Harry rolled his eyes, all Tom was doing is looking at him phone, every, single, day. “You think she likes him? Or might have sex with him?” “You are literally so bloody annoying, what do you think?” Haz glares at him. “Well I don’t know! Fuck! She wouldn’t” Tom didn’t even wanna think about it, having another hand on your neck, hearing you moan someone else’s name, opening your legs for someone else.

“Might wanna check her profile” Harrison shrugs, Tom nods and checks it, clicking on your story and finding you say “hallelujah” while your laying on someone, a chest. You soon flip the camera “put your legs down!” You slap them, making whoever it is chuckle, you zoom in on Jesus and end up getting caught, your phone drops as the story ends.

“Your fucked” Harry laughed “shut up!” Tom said, throwing the bottle cap at him.

“No this didn’t happen, I don’t believe it” you hide in tyes chest while everyone laughs at you “stopppppp!” You whine.

You smiled as you got in your tight dress, orange and spaghetti strapped that shows a bit of your side boob, you wore thigh high black boots, your hair flat ironed again, inches inches inches, lace front, lace front, lace front, Self love yeah? You put on your dangle earrings, lipgloss eyelashes just lookin so pretty.

“You ready?” Ray asked, coming in with his loose oversized shirt and jean shorts, converse, he looked good of course but never over top, it isn’t his thing. Tye on the other hand came with a black loose unbuttoned loose shirt and black dress pants, a new pair a j’s wouldn’t hurt anybody right?

Imani didn’t like dressing up so she came with a yellow ripped crop top and black cargos with some combat boots everyone’s hair done.

No drinking and driving, you all had money of course and you were planning on just taking care of yourself, so when you got there you just went to the bar.

Of course a lot of eyes were on you, all races all genders, but you could care less. “One shot of-“ “a Shirley temple, get this fine young lady a Shirley temple” Tye said, “we don’t need you losing your mind in here, y/n” “whatever but yes please”

“Of course gorgeous” the waiter winked at you. “Ooo” Tye said making you slap his arm “where is Imani and ray?” You asked Tye, he only pointed at the dance floor, the shoes helping both of them dance better.

“You should dance” “you and I both know I look like I’m getting electrocuted” he laughed as you got your drink, taking the straw and sipping it. “Can’t we like get a table or something?” You asked, Tye nodding and asking you to step forward, a gentle hand behind your back trying to keep the drunkies away.

About an hour in is when Imani started to party “IMANIS A LESBIAN?” you shouted, only enough for you, ray, and the to hear as they eye her on the dance floor. “Aw shit, here we go again” “private story activated” Imani just making out with the girl non stop.

“Oh fuck- we need to save her!” You say, watching as they giggle and record her. “Let her have her fun, she will just wake up in another girls bed and be happy” “she looks like she has an std” “how?” “She’s way to pretty” you laugh at tye “AH- HAIR PULLING? OH MY” “BAHAHAHA” you all scream laughing, Imani must of pulled to tight because that lace came off, as Imani pulled away and looked at her her eyes got bigger, she slowly lifted the lace compared to her head, “oh my fuckin god she’s gonna do it” “no she isn’t” “yes, yes she is” she ran off.

The lace in the air as she disappeared like a magician “OH MY FUCKING GOD” Tye posted it, you instantly took out your phone, biting your lip and seeing the missed calls, but ignoring it and opening Instagram, finding tyes private story and posting the post on your own.

“That’s sad, I feel bad for the girl” ray said, holding in his laughs as he looked at the and started cracking up. “We should’ve saved her-“ you got caught by heavy breathing “what the hell happened?” “Sis, you drunk forreal” you only shook your head “yo hair is lookin mad frizzy, let’s go sneak somewhere” you say getting up. “Look at y/n, sober but crazy” “shut the fuck up” you leaded them into this little space where the hallway is, not supposed to be there but fuck it. You found an iron “let’s get you back on track” you say, plugging in the iron “girl no” “it’s going to help” “that is hella ghetto” “you hair is lookin hella ghetto” as it got done heating up she took out her phone “look at her” “I’m making your hair look good, the fuck you expect? Hermiones bag so I can pull out a flat iron?” You picked up the iron and took her hair making the part straight first before pressing down. “Why y’all laughing?” You say looking at Tye and ray giggling in the background “you hookin her up that’s- that’s a good friend” and just like that, POW, her lace was lookin fresh.

“Now that we are here should we take some pictures?” Tye asked, everyone nodding as you set up your phone against the wall, everyone posing, you squatting, ray laying across all of you infront, imanis tongue out and Tye throwing up the finger, it went on for a while so the laughs were covered by the bodyguard walking in. “ Oop” “RUN!” Ray yelled, how the hell is you finna run in heels? Ray the fastest, Tye behind, Imani after him and you trying not to roll your ankles. “Get back here!” You don’t even now how but you made it infront of everyone, leaving them eating your dirt as you went to the exit “HURRY UP!” you yell “WE ARE FUCKIN TRYING! HOW THE HELL YOU RUNNIN?” Tye yelled, you opened the door everyone running out and you know behind them, the big ass guard almost catching you but you locked and shut the door, giving blowjobs did give you some extra skills.

You all ran to the car, hot and sweaty “I GOT IT ON RECORDD” Imani yelled making you all laugh. “You a real dumbass” you said, ray starting the car as everyone’s breath was heavy. You pulled out your phone on live, a lot of people entering “bitch we made it out!” “Sure did!” You switched the phone to behind the camera revealing ray and Tye in the front seat. “It was a crazy ass night” “I’m ready to take a fat ass nap” Tye joked. “Shit forreal, my piggies is killin me” you say giving your phone to Imani as you took off your heels. “Hold up- look at this” she said, putting her phone under yours showing your fans all y’all runnin and the big ass bodyguard getting dusted.

You sighed as you laid on your bed, already missing the night and taking off your dress after posting the pictures, which had the bodyguard in the back.

Buzz buzz

You saw the caller ID and huffed, rolling your eyes and leaving you in only your panties.

“She still won’t answer” Tom sighed. “Well did you expect her to? She just ran away from a bloody bodyguard she might be tired” haz said making a point. Tom only nodded his head looking at your recent pictures from the past few days, big pearly whites everywhere, ass boobs everywhere, just you everywhere. “Fuck it, I’ve called her and called her, I’m going over” “go ahead we aren’t stopping you” Harry shrugged “it might just be the best option” Sam nodded.

You turned on Cartoon Network but adult swim was playing, Robot chicken which actually scared the shit out of you. You heard a knock on the door, you mentally screamed and got up, going to your door but covering your boobs before answering the door.

“How did you find me” “I guess you could say your friends miss us together” Tom simply said, now looking down at your figure “is someone in here?!” He asked, voice slightly raised. “No thomas, come in!” You snatch him by his arm, he steps in and you close the door, not holding your boobs anymore you go to your room.

He follows you in your room, watching you as you put almost shirt. “You looked good tonight” “you were watching me huh?” He only walked up behind you taking the back of your neck and bending you over on the bed , pressing his self on you and reaching over to whisper in your ear “I guess” he pressed kisses to your neck, soft delicate ones as the coldness of his ring digging in your colored skin.

“Thomas what do you want?” You ask, clearly annoyed. His movements stuttered as he just sat on the bed, you stood back up straight and put on your shirt to sit next to him. He looks at you then down at the hardwood floor “I miss you” “and that was your way of showing me? You miss me or my body?” “I miss all of it” you put your legs up to your chest. “Really?”

“Yeah” he nods, turning to you “can I?” He asked and you nodded, he pulled you into a hug. “I love you and I was worried about you honestly, I have no idea what happened to me that night, I guess I was trying to hide me being vunrable” he whispered, your head on his shoulder as he speaked to you.

“Well I was just hungry ya know” you chuckle, making him let out a distant laugh. “I-yeah, it was a good chocolate” “you ate it?” “Yes I did” you both laugh. “But I seriously want to apologize, I don’t own you and you don’t deserve to be treated that way, at all. I love you, y/n” he whispered, taking your hand and playing with your fingers.

“I love you too” you look at him and he smiles, kissing your forehead to your nose and down to your lips. “Can we-“ “I’m tired, can we just lay down?” “Of course darling”. He helped you get rid of your makeup and you both laced down, both of you only on your underwear and your tops exposed, skin to skin as you both just admired each other, taking in each other’s scent and pressing kisses randomly as the tv ran in the livingroom.

[misterbitches]

Dude yong jie’s character is literally unbearable this is like how not to write a vharacter 101

Our first intro to him is stalking, then PUNCHING someone in the LIVER bc the person he “loves” was fucking drunk and he blames his best friend? Then his mom is like “lmao actually um hes psycho” so anything they try to do retroactively like how they peppered in HIS DAD DIED A BLOO BLOO but previously it was also his OWN MOM going “im afraid he’ll lose his humanity” so not only was there no breathing room then it’s bumrushing him into their lives as best friends and it doesnt work. This dude sucks and he isnt even fun to watch. You know how breaking bad has one of the most abysmal main characters of all time but all of us were fucking ENGROSSED but the show made it clear that every enemy he faces, even the DEA, we want THEM to win (it is also a class analysis but woreva) so i am like wtf they show us literally nothing here. He’s just there. Wasting space and being awful. What is the purpose of his character in ssu’s life? Once you rape someone it is fucking over full stop but he didnt even fucking manage to start off in any compelling fucking way. Absolutely bonkers dude Esp bc theres at least a base moral code ie DONT HARRASS GIRLS UR “INTO” and thats why mei fang the absolute mad lad beaut was like “lmao nah i hate u”

Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo?????????????????????????????????? WHERE IS THE WRITING HERE? WHAT IS THE SCRIPT? awhat is the PROGRESSION? This is such an insanely fucking dumb plo5 point i rly cannnnjnnntoeiwijshsgsgsgsgsgsgeggwiwowiw GORL

Lets talk abt the good things in the characters (theres none for yong jie hes just there being a little bitch)

Li cheng - himbo dumbass “manly” cutie and the manly stuff is fun cos it gets heaped on and yet every bit of him can be extremely “feminine” and jubilant. Great.

Muren - seems >:O but i rly like that hes actually pretty open in his own way. Side note: he is so thin and willow-y i rly loke tall pretty boys (and all women lmao) and he doesnt do it for me but He suits the character like his body and the way his character is. Also u gotta be weird and he is

Hsinng ssu (girl im never gonna learn how to spell their names it’s too much work cos the eng alphabet andnromanization is terrible) - mild mannered, good son, a homosexual confirmed confirmed g”(awesome!) great friend, good brother (and i guess his reward is being raped, great message!) and someone ppl like

The establishment of the three of them and their distinct personalities happens within minutes and then we meet

Yongjie - what about him? He may have an MI, okay, but we dont know for sure and oh gee that doesnt matter actually bc u have to get urself treated and also not be terrible. Not even psychopaths do the shit he does BC THEY HAVE TO GET HELP. Why the parents didnt get him help and are just realizing their son is terrible? Who knows . His purpose seems yo be “boy obsessed with brother like his actual brother” i dont care id they arent related in that way bc that’s not the fucking crux of incest and it is so insanely Fucked every thing to do with incest is almost always a disgusting powe r issue. WHAT PURPOSE DOES HE SERVE? WHAT DO WE ONOW ABOUT HIM OTHER THAN HE IS A FUCKING JERK AND AN IDIOT AND SUCKS AND I HATE HIM AND THAT HE WANTS TO STALK AND ATTACK THIS REALLY AWESOME FUCKING DUDE OK

There’s no returning point deom rhe line they croased byt theyb set him up for failure. Even in the fight hes a fucking cheater hes a goddamn immature rat they know he fucking sucks but he just sits there and waits for everyone else to move around him. A fucking selfish prick with nor edeeming qualities snd hes also a violent rapist stalker. Really great that thry have no clue how to make this dude actually have any humanity or likeability. Hes the man from 365 days basically except not even that hot and at least he kidnapped her but “WAITED” for “CONSENT” but in that movie’s world nothing mattered and it was bad and the point was to have a horny movie. But this show is for younger ppl and also IT HAS RULES AND IT KNOWS WHAT BAD ACTIONS ARE???? Soooooooooooooo in all these other dumb salacious books there seems to be just a mutual agreement that it’s fucked up but totally normal i their movie’s universee (it isnt and it is still just bad filmmaking)

Also it is up to yong jie to figure put how to get over it and understand that his brother is concerned for him. Bc it is. His brother. There’s a reason that incest is never advisable and thays bc there is no way in that situation that people aren’t somehow being coerced. There has to be a sort of split in the pursuer and the person being pursued bc one person is not thinking that way. (This is why people who find out they are related after the fact and havent grown up together is something thatms really unfortunate. They had no idea and they have to grapple with that but that is another scenario and it happens bc THEY DIDNT GROW UP TOGETHER.) i have experienced this from a (not immediate) fam member and i was the vulnerable one, had less powr, that is how it must go.

Thats why the power imbalance is scary and none of this is acceptable but it begs the question how did they get to this point? But the show doesnt even address that bc they cant bc theyre not original. And power imbalance does not mean automatic absolutely not territory. Theres things we dont like (in my casee i hate age gaps a lot) but i will avoid that.

I havemt seen “right or wrong” and i have no desire but from what ive garnered from ppl i like who liked that episode, the show outlined the moral issues with it. Idk if they did it in a way i would have preferred (again no desire) but at lesst from what ive heard it...tries? Idk i dont see the need for these if they dont give us a reason why these ppl should be together and there’s several lines that cannot be crossed that were. Basically it’s like stockholm syndrome now and there’s no choice for him, it goes beyond power imbalance and “legality” so to speak and now it’s just entrapment.

Theres not even avoiding or enjoying. Even for MODC as stupid as i found the secondary rship and negligent even like ok. Fine. Whatever. His boyfriend is 100 but at least it was semi agreed upon. It is what it is, go forth. I will criticize it but at least it was the story and as stupid and gross as i think it is and they will probs break up (idc what the show says) at least there are set ups that can make us see “why” it works and oh, gee, their whole rship relies on a different fucked up but at least at some point it could possibly be transcended. The foundation of youngjie is “rape entrapment and aw now they are in lvoe” BITCH NOOOO???? Where is the REASON? And why should we root for them? (There is none and when the Thing happens it is now impossible for that not to be absolutely foundational to their rship lmao and that is never something that goes away.)

I would like to say theres nothing romantic int he flashbacks i know thats what theyre trying to twll us but the actor is 30 and that child is like 8.

Im not missing the point bc i see it with my eyes and it sucks. If you cant even write the character well then how do you interest something heavy and work out the links? The only solution is yongjie dying i mean fucking off forever and hsing ssu not letting him into his lifeXni doubt we will get that but at the very least they cannot end up together and that will be their crowning fucking achievement over the waste of time bullshit plot this was. Imagine actual conflict that wasnt so deeply fucking traumatic and, oh, again WHERE ARE THE PARENTS? They fucked up SO FUCKING BADLY. This gives people the wrong idea about how these things work. God he is truly a shitty character and his ass isnt even fat so wtf bitch why am i here!

[ajokeformur-ray]

I watched Joker tonight and typed out my thoughts as they occurred to me. Unedited; typos are guaranteed. I did this a few months ago and really enjoyed looking back at my thought process and I wanted to do it again so that I can look back and know that what I feel is real and true in my darkest times.

You're welcome to skip this; it's under a cut for ease of doing so. Warnings for occasional sexual comment lmao. There’s no self shipping in this, I don’t think.

word count: 2, 575.

I’M SOBBING and I’ve only just pressed play.

Heart squeeze Chest much ow

THERE HE IS

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nooooo baby omg don’t pretend - let yourself hurt if it hurts. Don’t pretend. 

Carnival Carnival Carnivalllllllll 😍😍😍😍😍

I am a Simp for one clown and his name is Carnival

Someone help him, I????

That sign hit Arthur as hard as my love for him did ksksksk

MY EYES BE LEAKIN💔💔💔💔💔

bb nooooo

Oh honey let me kiss those bruises and replace the marks of violence with love, hm? You’re safe with me.

Breathe, my love. Don’t fight the laughter. Let it out, let yourself go. 

Screams into a pillow because????? much sad must kiss

“have you been keeping up with your journal?” LIKE HE HAS TIME

oHHHHH boi’s close to losing his shit

Do it, Artie. Give ‘em hell.

“I think I did” YOU TELL HER!!💖💖💖

I want to be his cigarette. Where’s Satan??? I got a new deal for my blackened soul which he took at half price😂😂😂😂

I’d have my hand between the door and his head so fuckin fast I swear

“I just don’t wanna feel so bad anymore” yep SAME

ohhhh peekaboo🥺🥺🥺

this makes me giggle ksksksk i watch this scene when i feel sad bc it always makes me happy for the time it’s on

he’s so good with kids; he doesn’t have to try and think about what’s funny, he just does it, he’s himself and it works

FUCK OFF LADY CAN’T YOU SEE HE’S STRUGGLING????

give

him

back

his

card

casually wrinkling my nose against tears lmao

ohhh the way he looks up at those stairs from the bottom

i can feel his exhaustion

me too, my love

step step step step

god i wanna get him the fuck outta gotham

and into my arms and a soft, warm blanket

“eat. you need to eat” LITERALLY WHAT I TELL MYSELF EVERY DAY IN HIS VOICE BC OTHERWISE I JUST WOULDNT EAT???? I’m losing so much weight asdfghjk its not enough tho

SUPAH RATS

Did Arthur come up w that joke or was it actually a Murray joke????

HIS VOICE IS SO SOFT IM CRY??🥺🥺🥺🥺

“I WAS PUT HERE TO SPREAD JOY AND LAUGHTER”

YOU DO BABY, YOU DO!!!! EVERY FUCKING DAY!!!!

go deepthroat a cactus randall - youre already a bit of a prick so🙃🙃🙃

“THE GUYS THINNK YOU’RE A FREAK BUT I LIKE YOU”

HOYT. YOU CAN GO SIT ON A CACTUS TOO

FUCK OFF

😡😡😡😡

“WHY WOULD ANYONE STEAL A SIGN”//”WHY DOES ANYONE DO ANYTIHNG?” HOYT YOU’RE SO FUCKING ILLOGICAL HERE IM????? ERIKA DOES NOT (ALSO WILL NOT LMAO IM A STUBBORN BIITCH) COMPUTE

Can arthur fuck me like he pounds the trash/????🥵🥵👀

those dark curls.... that crooked tooth... must kiss.🥺🥺🥺

pennys casual cruelty makes me so fucking angry

foreshadowingggggg ~  *JAZZ HANDS*

ugh the way he dances with that gun im👀🥵🥵🥵

he enjoys the power of it and his breathing gets deeper asdfghjk

clumsy baby omggggg i just COOED 🥺🥺🥺🥺

okay maybe im stupid but i genuinely dont understand this “senior who needs to graduate” skit i’m??? how is being an intro to western civ student funny im???? someone explain???

but also dont bc fuck that guy lmao arthur’s hilarious

true millenial humour (and brit humour lmao we’re dark asf)

THE WAY ARTIE TWIRLS HIS FINGERS AROUND HIS HAIR AND DANCES IN HIS SEAT IM???🥺🥺🥺

wanna curl up on his lap at night when hes writing and go to sleep with a 

blanket around our bodies🥺🥺🥺🥺

when arthur wears a shirt at home you KNOW it’s a daydream

THAT CROOKED TOOTH IM WANT KISS.

WAIT IS IT CALLED STAND UP COMEDY BC YOU STAND UP... AND ITS COMEDY???

23 FUCKING YEARS, PEOPLE... TO REALISE THAT🙄

WHEN CARNIVAL CAME ON SCREEN I NTHE HOSPITAL I MADE A PORNOGRAPHIC NOISE LMAO I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

IF YOURE HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT, SHOOT MURRAY

WOOPS WRONG LYRICS

😂

“doctor of laughter”🥺🥺🥺🥺

doctor i have a case of the Big Sad can you... do an exam? 😉😏

NO BB DONT BEAT YOUR HEAD UP THERES PRECIOUS CARGO IN THERE

in what world does chucking cold greasy chips in a girls hair being “nice”???

lmao fuck these guys

ohhh honey breathe. dont fight it, my love, just breathe.

my heart’s breaking for you, you sweet thing🥺🥺🥺

i love you so so so so so so so much ugh you’re an actual fucking angel

just breathe darling

i need to get you a cup of tea with honey in it, your throat must be so sore

ohhhh baby im so sorry

i’d take every single punch if i could

i’d die for you

i wish i could protect you

i wish i could look after you

and take all those hits

and kill those guys for you

im so sorry

sobbingggg

YES GOOD MAN THANK YOUUU

KILL THOSE ASSHOLES LMAO DESERVED IT

yeah i have a grey morality... im similar to deadpool in that way tbh

carnival comin’ to kill your insecurities

8 bullets in a 6 chamber???? mm-hm

DONT FORGET YOUR BAG THATS EVIDENCE

AND THE WIG

RUN BABY RUNNNNNNN

GO GO GO GOOOOOOOOOOOO

RUN LIKE THE WIND BULLSEYE

THE SOUND OF HIS FEET SLAPPING THE PAVEMENT IM👀

OOOOOH JOKER’S WAKIN’ UUUUUUP

fuck he’s so hypnotic

the way he runs his hand down his lower stomach asdfghj🥵

must kiss the inner tendons on his wrists and lick the blood off his face 

must kiss

he moves like water

fuck hes so fluid

bathroom scene = the scene in which my heart and vagina clench at the same time

im WANT

T POSEEEEEEEE

“i still owe you for that, dont i?”

PUNCH OUT IS MY FAVOURITE THING E  V  E  R

D O N T S M I LE

UGH I FUCKING HATE being told to smile if i don’t fucking want to so BIG mood

PLEASE SHUSH ME THE WAY YOU JUST SHUSHED PENNY IM???

but also dont lmao bc i’ll think you’re mad at me and i’ll hide in the bedroom for the rest of the day lmao i’m sensitive✨✨✨

i wanna sit on his lap and still his bouncing knees

“thats not funny”

fuck off penny yes it is

I JUST CHOKED ON MY COFFEE IM???

“but i do” god the  P O W E R

ugh that fucking sexist piece of shit comedian can choke “women look at sex like buying a car” 🤢🤮🤢🤢🤮

chauvinistic pigs can die thanks

his lil trip upstage im cry🥺🥺🥺

ohhh baby. just breathe, darling. it’s okay to be scared. dont fight it. just breathe. 

he and i both cover our mouths when we laugh/smile in the exact same way and it makes me feel closer to him

how can they think hes laughing at himself when hes literally gagging????

people only see what they wanna

the Penny imitation is👌👌👌

s m i l e

i remember when i came home from seeing this for the first time, i got home and dropped to my knees to cry in the bathroom. it was such an emotional release and so much love and i played smile to try to make myself smile but i only made myself cry harder lmaooooo ~ 

smile and thats life are my go-to songs if i gotta cheer tf up

danger sign = neither works

he looks so soft after his “date”🥺🥺🥺

“thats life” yeah but murray you dont even leave the studio so how do you know????

ngl arthur’s anger scares me.

anyone so much as raise their voice at me and i’ll cry really bad and i will shut myself away for the rest of the day and quiet anger terrifies me so his banging abt in the kitchen would freak me tf out😲

angry bb😭

he controls his anger so fast though omgggg ~ 

that soft please sends me

idk where it sends me lmao

down below probably

BARE FACED CARNIVAL OMG THIS SCENE IS SO CUTE

I LOVE THE MATCHING COLOURS ON ARTHUR AND BRUCE TOO ???

okay but the implication that arthur always carries a clown nose on him is🥺🥺🥺

hes such a good clown im?????

lmao im enjoying the show more than bruce is skskskk

arthur’s lil chuckle makes me🥺

his HUMMING im??? soft?????

his brows are so strong and dark omggg ~ he’s so beautiful

OKAY i’ll be honest i’ve seen this alfred/bruce scene and the thomas bathroom scene later on and the penny flashback scene a 100 times and i still dont fucking understand what did or didnt happen regarding arthur’s parentage im????

 ive seen interpretations to say he is thomas’ son and some to say he isnt and i still cant decide so? im stupid i guess 🙃

“a clown thing?” the  s a s s

“it’s exit only” yeah so’s my ass🙃

if i was there in the hospital room i woulda turned that tv off as soon as i realised what clip was gonna play

murray’s cruelty is d i s g u s t i n g

lmao hes an asshole

arthurs lil clap from joyyyyy ~ 🥺🥺🥺

did i say murray???

i meant  m u r r a t

🙃🙃🙃

sneaky baby

wayne hall either has super bad security or arthurs v quick on his feet

🤔🤔🤔🤔

he looks so good in red omggg ~ 

f o r e s h a d o w i n g

arthurs smile when hes watching chaplin is how he smiles when we all gush to each other abt him and ourselves!!!

hes so cuuuuuute🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰

“told me what” 

ohhhh honey🥺🥺 im so sorry. “crazy” is a trigger word for arthur; it made him start laughing in the bathroom with thomas

“touch my son again ill fucking kill you” yeah?? touch my arthur again and i’ll fucking kill you🙃🙃🙃🙃

^^^ that ones a joke do not come at me

the clerk in arkham was nice to arthur - he, gary and sophie are the good gothamites.

none of it was enough to stop his descent into joker, though, and i’d even say it was too late right at the beginning of the film, too... 

his sock puppet thingy “they cut all those” is such a Joker thing to doooo ~ 

the way arthur’s laughing in the hall at arkham turns into sobbing is gut-wrenching omg the poor thing😭

i wanna hug him and protect him and help him to process this in a healthy way

sweetheart, if i could take all of your pain and put it onto me... i so would. i’d do it in a heartbeat.

i wanna get you into a hot shower, make you some food and sit and listen to you. we can either sit in silence or you can talk to me, my love, and you will be heard and understood and loved.

“i had a bad day”

IT’S OKAY I DIDNT NEED MY HEART ANYWAY OMG YOU POOR SWEET INNOCENT THING IM LOVE YOU🥺💔

THAT ENTIRE LATE NIGHT SCENE LAUGH/SOBBING GOT ME -

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

i just wanna hold you and protect you and help you and love you

I’m so fucking sorry, darling. i wish i could take it all away from you

“i havent been happy one minute of my entire fucking life”

NO ONE SHOULD LOOK THAT ANGELIC AFTER COMMITING MATRICIDE IM????

get

that

fucking

gun

away

from

your

face

boi dont test me ill fucking go feral or - no, tell you what, i’ll point the gun at me and see how you like it

im looking respectfully at the green speckled undies scene....👀👀👀

“coming” 😏😏😏

“my mum died im celebrating” and “i stopped taking my medication” and you STILL stayed in the apartment with Arthur????? dudes those are 🚨🚨🚨 signs

woe betide anyone who underestimates arthur fleck lmaoooo

randalls death scene makes me laugh every time omg i feel so vindictive

get WRECKED

i wanna lick the blood off his face. i really want to

ngl i think i have a blood kink... 

“dont look just go” ME WITH MY ACNE WHEN I SEE IT IN THE MIRROR 😂😂😂😂

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER 

ASDFGHJKL

J

O

K

E

R

ERIKA.EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERRRRRR

😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 MY BABY MY MAN OMG THERE HE IS IM CRY???????😭🥺😭🥺😭🥺

my mind is literally blank rn im just staring and crying and smiling so hard my face hurts????? im love him so so so so much

sweet thing’s so used to pain he gets HIT BY A CAR AND KEEPS GOING????

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU

hghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

euirrrrrrgkjbgkfbirsghigrbugr

*incoherent keyboardsmash to portray utter love*

ohhh baby no dont cry. oh honey😭 i wanna sit on your lap and kiss your tears away

“i love dr sally”

you have a WIFE at home

“DO YOU REMEMBER?” THAT WAS YOUR CUE TO APOLOGISE LMAO GET FUCKED MURRAT

he’s so CUTE

omgggg ~ 

my hearts gonna give out its SQUEEZING SO HARD IT HURTS

YOU MOCK THEM, BABY!!! THEY GOT IT COMING

“i wanna get it right” hes so passionate

my comments have deceased in number bc im just too starstruck and in love to even think clearly lmao

jokers all i know rn and this is the most peaceful ive felt in WEEKS

im sobbing

ugh fuck this hurts so BAD

youre speaking the truth, darling. im so so proud of you and i love you so much

“THEY COULDNT CARRY A TUNE TO SAVE THEIR LIVES” LMAO INSIDE JOKESSS

literally sobbing right now ugh what the fuck youre in so much pain and in the middle of a breakdown and no one saw you

ugh baby im so sorry, you deserve so much better

you tried so hard and you were gonna fall no matter what

IN THE WHITE ROOM

“hi” baby they cant hear you but im COOING 🥺🥺🥺🥺

you’re so fucking cute

say the word and ill burn gotham to the fucking ground for you

i wanna sit atop that car and cradle your head in my lap and wipe the blood off your face and help you stand up and be there for you and and and😭😭😭😭😭😭 i love you so so so much. 

i’d be so much worse off without you in my life. you brought a splash of colour which has never dimmed or faded. it never will. 

b l o o d    s m i l e

=

im wearing my inside on the outside now and it still hurts

angel💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

i see you and your pain. i love you.

i see you, angel. 

his genuine laughter is🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

that cute lil “ksksks” he does im🥺🥺🥺

i always laugh with him omg the two of us are laughing together ugh its the closest i will ever get to sharing in his joy

 t h a t ‘s    l i f e

i love the hallway daaaaaaaaaaaaaance ~ 

them hips dont lie😉😉😉

i love you i love you i love you i love you omg the sun’s like a halo ugh i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you im singing along to thats life while i type out how much i love you at 220am lmaooooo ~ 

i   l o v e    y o u

[sainadazai]

When your crush is angry all the time

Ch. 1

Something fun at an all girls school

Chapter 1

Something fun in an

✨all girls school✨

•○●○•°•○●○•°•○●○•°•○●○•°•○●○•°

"Alright, despite how much the staff have opposed the right for students to watch t.v. during school time....our principle believes that this is actually going to be informative. Now girls, students with all sorts of quirk and backgrounds can be accepted to U.A. I expect you all to respect the people on this t.v as your future colleagues. NO JOKES."

"Pst..wish she would just shut up so we can see the hot guys..." Maiyumi whispered to no one particular

"I know, I haven't seen a man since I got kidnapped last year."

"Most of us havent seen anyone since being kidnapped, or you know, FUCKING ARESTED!" Y/n whisper-yelled. She was still very pissed that even though, she was obviously kidnapped-and meant to be killed- the fucking police blamed her. Dad chalked it up to them being jealous, but y/n really wasn't having it. Imagine it's the third time you were kidnapped and tortured before the age of 16, and it was supposedly your fault. 

Technically, they could've arrested her for burning down the building two weeks later, obviously while empty, she admitted that was wrong. Still, they got what they deserved, and she got frozen yogurt from down the street. As she would say: now that's proper treatment after a kidnapping 😎

"L/n thats enough, we all know the story by now, and we do not need to hear it again"

"But you shoulda been there, the audacity of them to say I was working with those guys!?! Those villains were way below MY level. I mean c'mon, if I was a villain i'd be way cooler than those nobodies."

"Oh.my.god. y/n I love you, but shit up so we can watch hot U.A. boys fight each other!"

"Ms. Hitoka!Unacceptable, we are here to learn from our follow young heros, not sexualize them"

"I heard midnight is gonna be there," Katna whispered towards the group, front the back of the room. Mind you, she was in a position to pounce, considering, much like her classmates, she hadn't seen a boy in years. 

"MIDNIGHT IS SOOO HOT" y/n yelled, forgetting that their teacher was in the front cursing herself for not accepting that sugar-baby job, and never meeting these obnoxious and horny teens. 

"For FUCKS SAKE, JUST WATCH THE TV"

As the teacher yelled all heads turned to face her and ignore their previous conversations. Y/n and Maiyumi had grown soft smiles, finally welcoming back the teacher they know and love. 

You see, LADY STATIC was an ex-pro hero, her quirk was projection. She could pick up any video signals from any device and project exactly what the device was seeing, or playing. She called all cameras her bitch....several times. So, as far as teaching went, she could only last a couple of minutes of seriousness in the beginning of class each day, before she erupted in a fit of lewd comments, brags, and most importantly curse words.

The black screen of the tv suddenly turned on revealing the large stadium that must be where the festival would take place. Y/n didnt really want to watch, it made her kind of sad knowing there were kids out there with the energy to try at something so dumb. A competition where you stay within grade, with supervision, and limits, and rules, and no real risk. It all sounded boring to her. She would either want to sit in bed eating and watching anime, or actually feel something. 

The idea of a battle where you aren't risking your life seemed pretty dull to her. See...y/n along with her best friend maiyumi, was an adrenaline junkie. Those two were the biggest non-villain troublemakers the world has yet to see. 

Finding it fun to jump off bridges, run across intersections, and fight each other with no rules or precautions. After living a life where most people you meet want you dead, and most of your life has just been trauma, everything gets more and more boring. Until you don't even mind risking your life just to feel something. 

However, what y/n did feel, very frequently, was horny. She wouldn't lie and say that she has indulged in some things, despite there being only girls in her private hero academy. However, she craved men, simply because they were something she hadn't had yet. So in the nature of being royalty, if she hadn't had it, she wanted it.

"..booo"

"How could say that, you meant to be representing our school"

"Not my fault the rest of you are just stepping stones to my victory."

Y/n finally focused back on the screen, she was seeing a very up close image of a blonde boy with red eyes, this being the first man she saw since the police 5 months ago. Her eyes lit up, and sub-consciously her body started to glow different colors. Shifting as quickly as the Led lights in her dorm. 

"Mind your quirk princess" Saina, the class grump-who lowkey crushes on y/n- sneers. 

"Aww, sorry, thanks for reminding me daddy" Y/n responded, feigning innocence but still not breaking eye contact with the screen. 

She mentally focused on subsiding her quirk, but it took awhile for her to completely stop glowing. 

Once she was y/n watched the first parts of the festival, noting exactly what that blonde boy was doing. Not without checking out some of the other students. Obviously, but something about those red eyes had her enticed. So she made sure to focus on him. 

As she watched she learned that his quirk was fire, and he used it very differently than she did. She scribbled down a random note about it to make it seem like she was studying and trying to improve herself. Then, focused back on every intricate curve of his face instead. How he scowled, he really looked angry, but being one of those U.A. kids, she couldn't help but doubt he really had anything to be angry about. 

Soon the girl found herself imagining him in some sort of serious situation, what could make somebody so angry? 

And before she knew it, his fighting figure disappeared from the tv as an image of midnight replayed him, announcing that he had one his fight. The last fight wasn't it? Meaning that the rage boy must've won the whole thing. y/n really wasn't impressed, obviously he was only fighting other U.A. students. How hard could that be? However, she was excited that he won for some reason.

While y/n watched him she couldn't help but wish she was the one fight. Oh to be punched by that man.  Every kick he would throw sent goosebumps down her body. Plus when he used that quirk, shit was it hot. Pun intended. Fire seemed like such a simple quirk, but simple works best. That  last fight against Todoroki, that excited her. 

See, y/n liked adventures away from the school ground, and since she could fly..well. She knew Todoroki.  He was always considerate enough not to be weirded out by her when she would sneak into his house, her parents knew his dad well, so she pretty much only knew that one place.  He was logical and so he understood that she isn't really perverted, she simply hasn't seen boys in a very long time.  Todoroki figured if he hadn't seen a female in three years he might become more fond of them as well. 

"Now lets award the metals" 

She looked up at the screen to see a podium holding the winners and runner ups. Atop it was the boy, he was announced as Katsuki Bakugou. He was chained to the post and attacking the air, and y/n found this insanely hot. She assumed that since Todoroki hadn't given his all, that boom boom might be upsetting. However, she never expected to see this beautiful sight on the tv screen of her classroom. The sight was stuck in her mind for days. 

She thought about it during dance class. 

She thought about it during quirk training. 

She thought about it during lunch.

During "sleepovers"

During missions with her boss - gang orca

During meeting with the principle

Even during visit time with her parents. It was then she decided she had to do something about it. Now, even though most girls at her school looked down upon U.A. the parents and staff didn't. For the girls it was about how truly jealous they were that those students, even with lesser power, would get to become heros. While us here, would become noblewomen, or princesses or be married off into other famous quirk families.

Y/n only was jealous because her mother spent more time with U.A. students than with her and her brothers. Seeing her mother was midnight, yes, the pro-hero. While that sounds cool, it isn't. Her mother and father dated for 1 month before getting married on a whim. Her father being a prince was something mom always described as FUCKINZg SEGGSYYY. Yes, you could blame midnight for y/ns horny behaviors. 

Unfortunately for midnight, royal quirks don't mix with other quirks. None of her children have her quirk. Her daughter has Elementus total control, her middle son has Elementus manipulate, and youngest son has Elementus transform. So she is left with a 7 year old that can turn himself into water if he doesn't want to get in trouble....yeah. So that at home life was strange...

"Mom, dad, I wanna be hero"

"Bullshit, no you don't bahaha"

"I do, mom"

"Why"

"Dad, I wanna help people you know, like mom does. I wanna make the world better instead of just becoming a queen and sitting in a house all day." Y/n lied, she would love to sit around doing nothing while her rich, king husband did all the work. Then she could just eat and watch anime and be unbothered. However, in the moment, y/n forgot about her dream future. All she wanted in that moment was to see boom boom everyday. yuh, I said it..boom boom.

"Babe, she has a fair point...plus its not like chiyo can do anything with his quirk"

"What do you mean?! CHiyo's quirk is so cool dad, one time he took all the oxygen out of my bod and then I couldn't do anything, it was so cool!"

"see...."

"Yea,yea i see"

"My love, can't you just recommend her to U.A. so you can keep an eye on her. We both knew she was destined to be a hero at some point."

"Uhm. Babe. She only wants to go so she can see boys."

"What?!My princess would never, you heard it, she wants to help people. Our sons would never say such things, we should proud, love"

"Honey, she is lying."

"No, I'm not a mom, I could care less about boys. All the girls at this school can do the same things, if not better. "

"Y/N! I love you so much my precious horny little fuck"Her mother sprang up from her seat and embarrassed her. 

"I can't believe this is my life.." dad sighed. 

"But yeah, that proves your point honey, if she is gay then she must mean it. Yayyy. N/N is coming to school with meeee!!"

"I- yeah mom."

[sporesgalaxy]

You know what? Fuck it. Here's the whole ass WIP script for the Danny Phantom/Ben 10/Deadpool crossover nightmare, which is called #follow ur crossover dreams, by the way. I think copy-pasting on my phone is gonna delete some italics but whatever.

Reminder that it's still a really early draft with a lot I plan on changing (wade Motormouth wilson doesnt say nearly enough bullshit, for starters), but hopefully u will enjoy it. happy birthday to me, my gift is letting myself share ideas without maximum effort

[BEN is running through a crowd of high school students, excitedly. He is on his phone] BEN: C'mon, Gwen, just tell me where to go! I wanna fight some bad guys today! It's been weeks! [GWEN is on a computer] GWEN: Ben, for the last time, you are NOT going into this alone! We aren't even sure what's causing this yet! Seismic activity at this scale is totally unheard of around here, and whatever's causing it-- BEN: Is gonna get it's butt whooped by the one and only Benn Tennyson! BEN: Don't worry, I can totally handle this! GWEN: Yeah, cause things always work out perfectly  when you say that. BEN: Just give me the location, and you can catch up with me there! GWEN: No, Ben. I'll fill you in when we know more, but.until then, don't run off. [BEN is dejectedy watching TV at home, when suddenly, there is another earthquake. Soon after, a newswoman reveals the epicenter just outside of town, and Ben gets an idea] [BEN gets off a public bus at a bus stop far outside of town. He looks out into a dry hilly wilderness, and down to his phone gps to confirm he is going in the right direction.] BEN: all right...I didn't wanna risk timing out before I got there, but I think I'm close enough now... [BEN places his phone gps at his feet, closes his eyes, and slaps the Omnitrix] [BEN transforms into Stinkfly] BEN: Well, I was hoping for XLR8, but I guess I can work with this? [BEN picks up his phonr and flies off] [when he reaches the epicenter BEN finds, embedded into a large hill, an abandoned lab of some sort.] BEN: ooOh [BEN enters the lab, and shortly times out, becoming human again. He sort of tries to sneak, but is clearly too excited/curious to be very effective] [The lab is full of rusting, inscruitable equiptment. Finally, Ben enters a natural cave turned testing area deep inside the lab, a cavernous room machinery littering the floor. There seems to be a fixation on machinery that we would recognize as Danny's parents' portal, but not embedded into a wall, so like a door attatched to a tube. Spare parts and dissasembled prototypes rest along the edges of the room, and a few assembled peices rest towards one end.] [Ben stands on the far south end of the cave, looking around at all of the strange wiring and such.] BEN: I wonder if this is Plumber tech... [BEN kicks a bundle of cords on the floor, and the sound echoes through the room.] [Then, a stranger sound eminates from somewhere just outside of the cavern. And another, similar, closer sound is accompanied by a visible flash. And then-- in a green streak, DANNY bursts into the air in the cavernous space, and then hits the floor and skids. When he stops, he turns human as he falls unconscious] [BEN has no fucking idea what is going on] BEN: uh...h...HEY. ARE YOU...OKAY? DANNY: ... BEN: HELLO? HELO-O? DP: ya think he's dead? BEN: AUGH!!!! [BEN jumps violently, very surprised by Deadpool's presence, and takes a step back] BEN: Who the heck are you?! DP: Call me Deadpool! [BEN gives him a look of utter disbelief. That is the stupidest superhero name he's ever heard. He's about to say that, but then,] DANNY: [groans] DP: [hops down. Puts a hand out, signalling for Ben to stay] Stay here, kid. [Ben is offended to be belittled even if it's reasonable. He stands with an angry look on his face for a moment before following just a few steps behind deadpool, hand at the ready above his watch.] [DP veeery cautiosly walks over to Danny and then....abruptly switches gears, standing up straight and gently bumping the boy's shoulder with his foot] DP: hey. hey. get up. DANNY: five more minutess.... DP: ...7Your mom made pancakes? [DANNY's eyebrows furrow. He groans again. He props himself up, and rubs his head. He's covered in dirt and some blood. He opens his eyes and his expression is full of exhaustion and dread as he processes his unfamiliar surroundings. He looks up at Deadpool] DANNY: ...........I don't smell any pancakes. [DEADPOOL and DANNY stare at eachother for a moment. DANNY seems to be waiting for something. He suddenly looks at BEN, incredulous] DANNY: So are either of you going to attack me, or are we having a staring contest? BEN: I dunno, are YOU going to attack? [DANNY is so tired. He's had a long day] DANNY: I'd prefer not to, but it tends to happen a lot. DP: Well that's depressing! BEN: Well if none of us are fighting, I have a question. BEN: Where'd you two come from? DANNY: Ghost portal. DP: Time travel. BEN: ... BEN: You're not giving me much to work with, here. [BEN points to DANNY] BEN: Especially you. I get time travel, I can live with that-- DP: Thank god. BEN: --But, "ghost portal?" Like a portal for ghosts? Are you dead?? [DP slowly prods Danny with his foot again. Danny is too busy suddenly realizing that he's in human form to be concerned with that] DANNY: I--uh-- BEN: Was that what was up with the green energy? DANNY: Maybe I just went through the ghost portal, ok? I--where are we? BEN: Somewhere on the outskirts of Bellwood, Nevada. DANNY: Nevada? BEN: Nevada DANNY: Huh. DANNY: And why are you here? BEN: [excited to sound smart] There was some unnatural seismic activity around here, and I came to check it out, see if it was anything nefarious. BEN: [cocky] You know, usual superhero stuff. [Danny is a little shocked. He's never really met another superhero before, who wasn't a clone, or accusing Danny of being evil or something] DANNY: oh. BEN: What? DANNY: You're...you're really a superhero? DP: You're like 12 is that safe? [What is the deal with all these young superheroes but say it funnier] BEN: I'm 16!!! DP: Children trying to be superheroes never works out well, trust me kid. BEN: I'm not a child!! Why do you care, huh? DP: Cause I hang out with a lot of superheroes and the heroism business has never done anyone's mental health ANY favors. [DANNY puts his hed in his hands] DANNY: Ugh, tell me about it. BEN: Ha! You AREN'T a normal kid! DANNY: oops. BEN: What can you do?? Do you have GHOST POWERS? [DANNY bites his lip] DANNY: What about you? Do you have powers? BEN: I can turn into any of hundreds of aliens! DANNY: ...care to show me? [BEN looks at the Omnitrix. It's still timed out] BEN: ...in theory... [Danny raises an eyebrow] [meanwhile, Deadpool loses interest. He starts climbing on stuff, looking at the scattered tech.] BEN: Uhhh...can it wait a minute? I just flew here. DANNY: What?? BEN: [gestures to watch, grinning sheepishly] Alien tech! BEN: I swear I'll show you later. What about you! Show me yours! [Deadpool arches an eyebrow at them in the distance] DANNY: ...I guess, since you already guessed it... BEN: What are you so worried about? Ha, haven't you ever met another superhero before? [Ben was sort of kidding, but...] DANNY: BEN: DANNY: Uh, no. Not really. BEN: ...So do you fight bad guys all on your own? DANNY: Uh, yeah? I'm kinda the only person who can. [Reconsiders, and adds with bitterness] Well, the only one who can and will. [Ben thinks about that for a second. He knows how it feels to think you're the only person who can save the world, but Ben is usually wrong when he assumes that's the case. He doesn't like imagining how he'd feel without all the support he's gotten in his hero-ing career. He's genuinely concerned for Danny.] [Danny notices the concern in Ben's expression. Ben seems to be about to say something, but Danny suddenly feels insecure about being pitied. He finally stands up, brushing himself off] DANNY: But like, I have friends, and plenty of tech they can use to help me out. I'm just the only...I guess I'm the only superpowered person willing to deal with fighting ghosts all the time, okay? Whatever! I've been at it for 2 years, I'm used to it. [Ben then adds something together in his head] BEN: Wait, have you never heard of me? Ben 10? DP: Wow! Humble! BEN: No, seriously! Never? Have you ever seen any aliens? DANNY: Uh, no? BEN: Where are you from? DANNY: Colorado. BEN: I've saved the world, like, several times. [DANNY and DP raise an eyebrow each] BEN: Publicly!! People know about me! I'm a big deal!! This is--You guys aren't from here. I need to take you to the Plumbers, so we can-- [A portal powers up again. DANNY seems to suddenly remember something. He goes stiff] DANNY: Oh no. BEN: What? Is that the Ghost Portal? DANNY: Yeah. And you're about to meet the guy who punched me through it. [DP rejoins them to look at the threat] DP: Oh, now that you two have your shit figured out, I should mention I'm from another universe. BEN: WHAT! You said time travel! DP: Yeah, time travel gone horribly, horribly wrong. BEN: How??? I've time travelled a few times and never seen anyine mess it up that bad. DANNY: Yeah since when does time travel take you to other universes? DP: OH SO WE'RE ALL TIME TRAVEL EXPERTS HERE ARE WE??? I'm not telling you two how to live YOUR lives! DP: How about I start bragging about being a superhero expert! Neither of you even know what an X-man *IS!* BEN: Like from the comics? [DP looks at Ben. He won't say it out loud but his expression says "WHAT THE FUCK DUDE"] [BEN shrugs]

[time to get DISJOINTED!!! Here's 2 comic transcripts]

...[some fighting I havent written yet]...

DP: DANNY WHY IS YOUR GHOST DAD SO HOT?? DANNY: HE'S NOT MY DAD. PLEASE DON'T CALL HIM THAT, IT'S A WHOLE *THING* WITH HIM-- [VLAD beams] VLAD: Now, Daniel, is that any way to speak to your father?? DANNY: SEE?! Now he'll never shut up about it! VLAD: I've had enough of your sass, young man! You're GROUNDED. [VLAD spikes Danny into the ground HARD.] [DP is pissed off now. He reaches for his katanas.] DP: Ok I get the picture.

...[more unwritten fighting]...

VLAD: Well, now that I have your undivided attention-- [DANNY has just been punched into the ground. He's sitting up, now] DANNY: --You can start the evil monologue. Joy. VLAD: Evil is such a reductive word. Don't you ever get tired of being beaten half to death to protect people that couldn't care less if you lived or died? [DANNY stands up, with some difficulty] DANNY: You *would* think having a conscience is exhausting. [VLAD is taking a lazy step towards Danny every few moments] VLAD: ...Have you noticed where we are, Daniel? VLAD: Because it isn't Amity Park. It's not even in the same universe as Amity Park. VLAD: And it's not anywhere your idiot father will ever bother finding, seeing as it has nothing whatsoever to do with ghosts. [VLAD is standing over Danny, now] VLAD: Do you know what that means, my boy? VLAD: Nothing I do here can spoil my reputation. VLAD: And none of your little friends are coming to save you. [VLAD places a hand on Danny's shoulder, gripping too tight] VLAD: So VLAD: I'm going to make you the same offer I made you the night of the reunion VLAD: One. Last. Time. VLAD: Either abandon Jack and let me teach you how to really use your powers, [VLAD summons some ghostly energy between his hand and Danny's shoulder] VLAD: Or force me to make poor, dear Maddie file a missing person's report that will never be resolved.

[wow direct segue into comic!]

..[just a tad more unwritten fighting]...

[Vlad has Ben by the neck very far up in the air, and Ben is frantically pressing his Omnitrix] VLAD: [cackles] Goodness, I think your powers might be even more tempermental than Daniel's! It's a little sad, honestly. I was looking forward to a real challenge for once. DP: [on the ground, a distance away] Superpowers shmuperpowers [cocks gun, and fires a couple of shots at Vlad] [Vlad was watching DP talk, unimpressed. He becomes intangible, clearly no longer interested in Ben, allowing him to plummet to his death] [After becoming tangible again, and without breaking eye contact, in a flash of pink energy, Vlad is right in front of Deadpool, and violently pins him to a wall] DP: AWH, you can teleport?! That's not even fair!! VLAD: [close to Deadpools face, crushing his neck harder] No. It isn't. And that's just how I like it. DP: [choking] [thinking] don't say harder daddy don't say harder daddy don't say harder daddy [cut to Ben falling through the air, desperately, repeatedly smacking the Omnitrix] BEN: PLEASE WORK PLEASE WORK PL-- [Danny swoops in and catches him] BEN: [clinging to Danny, obviously spooked but trying to be cool] Thanks! DANNY: [amused] Don't mention it. [Danny puts Ben down on the ground] BEN: Um..where are your legs? DANNY: Oh, they uh...they just do that sometimes. DANNY: Is something wrong with your watch? BEN: [glares at the Omnitrix] It just does this, sometimes. [Danny sees something coming] DANNY: Well you'd better fix it fast! [Ben looks up just as Danny turns them both intangible, seconds before Deadpool is sent hurtling through them and into the ground] [BEN is grinning, watching his hands as they turn re-tangible] BEN: That is SO COOL! I've only ever gotten to do that to myself! Y'know, as an alien! [DANNY was looking at DP's crater, but turns to BEN, surprised at the genuine enthusiasm] DANNY: [maybe blushing a little?] Uh, thanks! [BEN grins at him, and Danny smiles back. They're cute.] [Deadpool's hand pops out of the crater, waving (flailing)...reassuringly?] DP: Don't worry about me, all he did was break [groans] most of my bones. [Danny grabs Ben and pulls him out of the way before Vlad fires an energy blast at Deadpool] VLAD: Still think you can manage without superpowers? [DP sits up painfully and slowly, and coughs] DP: Ac-- [Vlad hits him with a copious amount of energy blasts for an unnecessarily long time as he slowly lowers to the ground] [When Vlad lands and stops firing, he turns around to face Danny and Ben] VLAD: Where were we, Daniel? [Danny is horrified. He's gripping a fistful of Ben's shirt like his life depends on it, expecting to have to save him a third time. Ben is a bit shaken but still determined, and holds his hand at the ready over the Omnitrix] VLAD: ...That was rhetorical, my boy. I had just asked you a very simple question. VLAD: [turning his gaze to Ben] And I don't want to repeat myself. [Ben is not quite picking up on Vlad's thinly veiled threat. Danny, bug-eyed, follows Vlad's gaze to Ben, and is clearly absolutely terrified to be responsible for the deaths of two people he just met. Danny tightens his grip on Ben's shirt.] DANNY: ...I-- [a gunshot hits Vlad from behind. Vlad is completely shocked] [behind him, DEADPOOL is sitting up in the crater, charred to all hell but somehow still alive. He appears to only have one (barely) functioning arm left, which is holding the smoking gun] DP: I never said I didn't have any superpowers, jackass. [DP narrows his eyes] DP: I just like guns. [DP tries to shoot VLAD a few more times, but VLAD has turned intangible, and flies to a safer distance] Vlads gonna say some shit and run off Im not done yet but hoo boy. Oh man.

[cordytriestowrite]

Late Night Study Session

Bucky x Reader

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4

Summary: Finally, the handsome Steve Rogers takes up your offer to be study buddies and you swear you could make it more if only Bucky Barnes wasn't everywhere you turned. (College AU)

Bucky had to pry your arms off of him after shutting off his motorcycle, obviously in good spirits despite your fear. When he pulled the helmet off your head your sense of hearing returned and you could hear the indistinct thumping bass coming from the two story house you stood before.

"Come on, let's get in there. Get our party on." You turned back to Bucky, catching him in a silly yet graceful set of moves. His tongue touched his upper lip and suddenly you found your tension slip away. You laughed genuinely at him and allowed him to put his arm around your shoulder and lead you inside. This is the stress relief you needed. Sure a bath would have been nice, but drinking and partying with friends was the quintessential college stress reliever. Bucky opened the front door confidently and led you inside.

The music was even louder inside. You felt the bass in your chest and allowed yourself to slow and take in the scene. There weren't tons of people from what you could see. A handful were dancing in the living room, a smaller amount were standing in the open kitchen playing beer pong, and looking straight through to the back of the house you could see a large firepit and a few faces illuminated by the flames, including Tony's. You pulled Bucky's attention away from the kitchen and pointed outside. You expected him to release you, to join the group playing beer pong and leave you to your friend, but his arm remained around your back as you both made your way through the house.

"Babe, you made it!" Tony bellowed as soon as you opened the sliding glass door. He moved precariously around the flames to hug both of you around the middle and place big, wet, drunk kisses on your cheeks. You laughed along with the rest of the partygoers enjoying the open air.

"Sorry we're late," Bucky began, catching everyone attention and settling down the giggles. "But someone," he glared playfully at you, "was being difficult."

"Oh that's just like her." Tony scoffed. It really wasn't 'just like you' and though you tried to protest that flow of conversation ended and everyone easily went back to their own repartee. You could only glare not-so-playfully at Bucky as Tony made his way back to his seat.

You were being guided yet again by your ever present nuisance to a set of empty camping chairs in between an unfamiliar man and....

You pulled yourself out from Bucky's side at the sight of Steve. Did he think you two were together because Bucky's arm had been so comfortably across your neck before? Shit, you didnt even know he would be here! Why didnt he tell you? Why didnt he ask you to come with him? You feel the tension slowly build back into your chest. If it wasn't school you were stressed about it had to be your love life. You were about to take the seat next to Steve, hoping to salvage your single image and restate your availability when you were forcibly moved one seat down by hands on your hips. Of course Bucky would literally interfere with you and Steve.

The men started a discourse easily, including Sam who was sitting next to Steve. You felt awkward watching them chatter on when you were so obviously not invited to join them. You suddenly felt alone, even bitterly wishing Buck's attention was back on you.

"Hey, we havent ever been properly introduced. I'm Bruce." The stranger next to you offered his hand, which you took after an embarrassingly long moment, offering your own name.

"I know." He said with a small shrug, "Natasha talks about you all the time."

"Oh, you know Nat?" Your curiosity was piquied at the connection to your roommate.

Before Bruce could respond Nat opened the sliding glass door and joined you outside, as if summoned by the sound of her name. She carried two red solo cups in one hand right toward you. Your brow was furrowed as you watched her settle into Bruce's lap and hand him one of the cups.

"Hey roomie." She said casually, taking a long sip from her cup.

"Hey." You continued to stare at the canoodling couple. They seemed too comfortable to have just met, and too innocent in their touches to be a casual hookup. You could only come to one conclusion.

"Are you two dating?" You finally asked. Bruce and Nat nodded in tandem. While Nat's face remained ever impassive, Bruce looked at you quizzically.

"Its been about a year now. Did Natasha never tell you or something?" He laughed out the question as if it was an unbelievable thought. Nat's eyes didn't meet yours as she took another sip from her cup. Bitterness rose like bile in your throat and you felt it burn through to your eyes. You laughed along with Bruce but the sound was empty.

Sure, your roommate kept you at a distance, always vague about her past and personal life, but after three years of living in tight quarters you thought she would have told you she was dating someone, especially for almost a year. There was so much you had shared in an attempt to connect with her and right here in front of your own eyes was something she chose to withhold. You felt betrayed in a way, and now so much lonelier than you had felt only minutes ago. Your mood was tanking fast.

"I'm going to grab a drink." Your voice came roughly as you announced your exit to nobody in particular. You stood from the chair and made your way inside, not looking back.

You let the heavy bass mix around the bitterness and loneliness as it shook your empty chest. There were too many people around, the living room was too loud and the kitchen was too bright. A drink would have been nice but right now you needed to wipe your eyes of the tears you were struggling to keep from running loose. You turned down a short hallway in search of the bathroom and found it behind the second door you opened.

The bathroom was quiet and clean and if it weren't for the muffled babble and laughter that occasionally broke through your sniffles you could believe it was okay to wallow here forever. You cleared your nose and wiped your eyes hurridly, not wanting to be gone for too long or monopolize the bathroom. You were splashing some cold water on your cheeks when a rough knock came to the door making you jump. You checked your face again quickly assessing your red rimmed eyes before opening the door, keeping said red eyes downcast.

"Sorry." You apologized to the awaiting patron. You moved out of their way to allow passage only to find yourself pushed unceremoniously back into the small room.

"Why are you crying?" You heard Tony ask as he closed and locked the door.

You found fresh tears making their way down your cheeks and you didnt bother to wipe them away. You sat on the closed lid of the toilet and allowed your closest friend to offer his metaphorical shoulder. His real shoulder was too busy leaning against the door, barring it from any escape.

"Did you know she had a boyfriend? I didn't. She didn't tell me. She never tells me anything, Tony. I thought we were friends."

Your head remained lowered as you revealed your heart, but as always Tony was there right in your face. He shook your shoulders none too gently and his eyes met yours.

"Who needs a friend like her when you have a friend like me, huh? Am I not good enough for you?" You allowed a giggle to push it's way through the lump in your throat and Tony's face exploded with his million-watt smile. He landed a gentle punch to your chin before grabbing your cheeks, pulling and pushing them until your laughs echoed against the small, tiled walls.

"You always got me," he whispered, staring at you lovingly. You nodded in agreement. "And you also have that hot piece of ass out there. I'm sure he'd be happy to take your mind off of the roommate drama."

You rolled your eyes, moving your hands to Tony's shoulders and shaking him as roughly as you could.

"He's not anything to me Tony, you know I like Steve. All Bucky has done is get in my way." Your grumblings did nothing to change Tony's mind. You found your melancholy replaced with exasperation, which was probably Tony's intention.

"You keep telling yourself you like Steve, but look in here," he pushed a finger harshly into your chest, "and in those trashy books you're obsessed with and realize you've always been about the bad boys, darlin'."

You were about to protest, come to Steve's defence as well as your own, but Tony pulled you up and opened the door, pushing you out before you could say a word.

-

With Tony Stark by your side it was hard to remain gloomy, that's why you loved him despite all his other...qualities. He kept your mind occupied with dancing and gossip and your hand always held a cup or a can. Tony must have also made sure Natasha and Bruce kept their distance, as you didnt see them the rest of the night.

"Middle." Sam called his shot before the small ball soared through the air and bounced off the rim of the middle cup. Sam, Steve, and Bucky groaned from their side of the table while you, Tony, and Thor jeered. Thor was a nice addition to the night, and as the host of the party it was hard to say no to letting him join your game. He had an arm on him and good aim.

"Far left." Thor called in his deep, accented voice and you watched it sail with bated breath. The ball landed perfectly within the called cup, not even touching the rim. Another cheer errupted from your team.

"Good thing you're letting us stay over Odinson," Sam shouted over your celebration. "Because I'm fucked up. That's the only reason we're losing."

"All losers are welcome in my home." Thor boomed, his arms extending wide. You ducked out of the way of his long reach, but he only grabbed you by the waist and hoisted you into his side. "And winners too of course."

You laughed and wriggled from his grasp, his jovial spirit not effected by your discomfort. Your eyes flicked to Steve, to see if he held any jealousy in his eyes, any longing stare at seeing another man's arms around you, but his focus was on his turn, the ball already in his hand ready to throw.

Steve managed to take out another cup, bringing you down to a tie with three cups remaining. With your turn you stepped up to the table. You were by far the weakest link on the team, though Thor more than made up for your terrible aim. You didn't bother calling your shot and just hoped you could make it into one of the three cups.

"You ain't gonna hit it Drools." Sam heckled. You ignored him, only focusing on the cups at the end of the table. Pale and dark hands alike began to wave just over the cups, making you nervous.

"Cut it out guys I'm bad enough as it is." You whined.

The hands ceased their teasing and you took your shot, missing the table entirely. The ball landed in Bucky's awaiting hand.

"My turn sweetness." You had discovered the more Bucky Barnes drank the more pet names he gave you. Sweetness, doll face, babydoll; it's like he forgot your name entirely.

The ball landed with a plop and the merriment switched sides as the men pulled ahead.

"Drink up." Bucky teased. You glared as you pulled the ball out of the lukewarm beer, bringing the cup to your lips and drinking the liquid down.

-

"You fought a good fight." Bucky consoled softly, wrapping his arms around your middle. You scoffed.

"Dont patronize me Barnes."

You pushed against his chest halfheartedly. The hour was late enough to be considered morning and you found you were ready to allow the night to end. Bucky laughed sluggishly in your ear as he rested his head heavily on your shoulders, breath exhaled warmly onto your neck.

"Let's get him to bed." Steve whispered, entering your vision beyond Bucky's large shoulder. You nodded and Steve pulled his friend from your arms, letting him lean against his side as everyone made their way up the stairs, not one person successfully climbing the steps without stumbling. Thor opened the door on the right.

"Guest bedroom. Bed, couch, floor. Figure it out."

You all called a chorus of thanks as he headed into his own room on the left, throwing a hand up to wave goodbye without turning around.

"I call bed." Tony rushed into the room before everyone else. He let himself curl up on the far side of the bed and judging by the snores promptly passed out.

"I got a bad back." Sam groaned, rubbing his lower back for emphasis. No one protested when Sam fell heavily onto the mattress next to Tony.

"Me and Buck can take the floor. You take the couch okay?" Steve, ever the gentleman, offered.

"The couch is big enough for two people. I dont mind sharing." You bit your lip, hoping Steve would take you up on your offer to share the close quarters of the couch. You released your lip to grin widely when Steve nodded.

This was your moment. The moment you had been waiting for. The moment your breath would mingle with Steve's and your lips could meet in the blissful quiet of sleepy drunkenness. He jerked his chin at the couch and you rushed to place yourself upon it, you turned onto your side to allow Steve plenty of room and make it easy for your head to rest on his chest as you fell asleep.

But then Steve was depositing Bucky onto the couch next to you, lifting his legs onto the cushion before looking up at your shocked expression. He smiled his beautiful, perfect smile and you almost missed what came out of his plush, kissable lips.

"You're a good friend."

Tag list is open! @dugan365 @m-a-t-91 @kali-mav @ohhhotstan @becauseismellgood @hawaiiantozier @cami23593 @ishipmybed @soldierplum @temenetomson @minniesugakookie @elwenia @sweetpeasprincess @kali-rambles @friendly-neighborhood-lich-queen @dafnouche @to-be-a-sunshine @vquezada84 @snortswithgiggles @lilypalmer1987 @imarockstar45 @marvel-baddies @spacezombiie @sebbystanlover-vk @lexthetexbruh @kitkatkate45 @janineabad @ellaenchanted91

[royalmokwamonster]

May 14, 2022 ; T-2hours

@6:15PM

believe me or not future me, yeah I have been sitting at the back of Fit4Me building where it is shady right after my longasss 8h shift - which I havent had a shift in a hot minute ‘mind you

so yeah, the cat is out of the bag... legit the day after, I even wrote here.

madre was going to wait on his day off but he kept buggin’ yada-yada-yada about coworkers looking for a place w me and other yt people...

im good tho, this car is full of gas, there is enough breeze for me to be chilling in the backseats, listening to my accoustic playlist 

I mean not fully sketched out where I am parked; like at first I was chilling in the drivers seat but like BRUH I need to elongate my legs after standing for nonsense hours lol

like it’s in a way hidden but then again it’s quite exposed to a common road in front of the wall, just enough shade.

okay anywyas, should I have been the one who told dad? or was is skillful that mum did it? why don't I feel much pain (as I thought it would be).. is this cheating in a way because I didn’t tell him and I got the messenger (mom, duh) to do the nasty work?

like ya, that was cheated out of me in order for him to get the memo to stfu yet “have mercy on me” -- what.

the last 2 hours I: officially sent the PDF form of voluntary withdraw, visited the spot where me n T would enjoy the view, researched plane time & train times, I even watched one Baekhyun/Sehun/Taehyeon/Jaehyon interview LOLS

why am I affraid to go in the house?

madre did had a valid reason that I would've cried when he would've stared the nonsense questions and one-sided listening.

madre acc has gotten better keeping her calm -- she’s (sorry im lowkey crying bc this playlist is getting my feels) dealt with all sorts of punches of hiskind. 

iiiiiiiii just don't want to:) is that a good enough answer? I feel like it isn’t... but I just don't want to risk it yk, I strongly believer the kettle is the fucking burning ~ there is no suck thing as water under the bridge - NAUR BC even the arguments madre was telling me,,, one of it triggered her.

omg I saw Brook and Gabby at work... like what the fuck:)

ku kept asking why didn't I left right after exams..?

honestly, I wish I could give an answer - was a procrastination to tell him (yea maybe) - did I want to spend time want to spend time w madre after she arrived from her trip - was I still adjusting myself out of the school-routine - did I want to catch up w all the Kpop interviews I've been waiting to watch when I got the time (that's why I also didn’t want to work)

I still can’t believe I got a higher grade in Crime than psych LOLS - no because I was re-reading my exam answer and BRO that shit sounded too fucking fancy that even I know going through - like it looks like I put time n effort for this damn question to be answered, trying to clean the whole kitchen table hoping no crumbs left 

ew, my nipples are atm perky and hurting;.... nature bc why did I gain the freshman 15---- lie 20 ;’////

I am not fond of my appearance - looking back of grad me (brunette me); cant believed I thought I didn't do enough....when really I did, unfortunate I didn't give myself enough cred.

okay update, I saw again that bald, big backpack muscular white man sOO I changed locaation -- currently in the corner parking lot of the old Chapters, yes it is still pretty visual where I am, lowkey should I higher my windows of am I cool for now? I dunno 

I honestly have nowhere to go, so that's why im chilling in my car 

-- I just don't think it would be correct, especially in my sate of mind - to be inviting myself somewhere so they could petty me.? yk YK im pretty glad tho that I brought this computer with me LOLL, I should've brought my book but o well 

I really don't know what to pack when I leave to be quite honest, most of my bottoms aren’t at my likings - same goes with my tops ..... especially w the fact I gained wait 

I don't even think I weight THIS much previously- so what now, how do I make this shit disappear? laxatives because for a fact I ain’t so committed as last time (brunette me) to be fasting hella intensively - well to be fair, every hangout of T n I, we would always walk no matter what,,, I was technically on that grindgrind

it is currently @6:51 PM, it is still nice out, still tolerable chilly air in the car

I don't know if I still want to wait it out a bit more longer bc - No, is it wrong to be feeling unsafe at home 

and when I say that, that who fucking knows right? I guess I have been dramatize with all the stories from previous times ago and like something inside me is waiting for “my turn >:) “ since everyone has gotten a “slap” in the back someway somehow 

this is annoying.

[like-why]

The types and what I think of them based on what I've seen from my friends(and probably a little insulting)

~as an INTJ

INTP - quiet - can make a bitch face that makes you cry - probably thinks u stupid - says that MBTI is shit - fashionista - has an ENFP friend(“ENFP no!”) - savage - that friend who has ultra weird ideas when drunk - probably most adorable smile on earth - smart - most of the time just rising eyebrows and blinking

ENTJ - bossy af - prima ballerina - she is beauty she is grace - she will punch you in da face - always in warm socks - also an actress - knows how to build things - basically good at everything - will shout at you if you do something wrong - probably slept with almost all male friends

ENTP - a n n o y i n g AF - never shuts up - meme queen - so loud - not funny jokes - make up queen - at least smart - thinks she’s better than you(and maybe she is) - if you take a sip from her mug u die - has an ENFP slave - kinda selfish - another fashionista - if she laughs the whole room laughs with her - soooo much self confidence wow

INFP - THAT SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE - garbage lord - writer buddy - has ton of OC’s AND GAY SHIPS - cannot into decisions - junky food - understands(really) - don’t like loud people - constant lala land - savage without even noticing - 4w5 - has 8 minute long video of herself eating french fries on her phone - impressive self control - cute laugh - cute - the best person to rant with

ENFP - can’t stay in one place for a minute - suddenly disappears in a middle of a party - daydreaming a lot - cheerful - likes to drink A LOT - too many friends - nice for everyone ugh - that laugh which sounds like a puppy riding a pink bicycle in a tuxedo - can bring ENTP back to earth

ENFJ - mom friend - has too many friends HOW IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE - gonna steal your friends without even noticing - likes fancy drinks and kitschy things - obsessed with doggos - sudden outbursts of anger - hypochondriac - really anxious when driving - doesn’t understand a concept of a personal space

ISTJ - another bitch face - can rise one eyebrow HOW U DO DIS????? - doesn’t understand memes - smart - lack of self confidence - secretly hates u - wears comfy clothes but looks so good - has a lot of savings but hardly ever uses them - they knows better ok? don’t even try to tell them that they are wrong - don’t particularly like pets - perfect teeth - so so so smart once again - sometimes are rather calm but sometimes… don’t ask

ESTJ - that kid who asks too many questions during your presentation - constant bitch face - hot - stingy - falls asleep during parties - a rant person - bossy - hard working - teachers like her

ESFJ - will help you EVEN WHEN YOU HAVENT ASKED FOR HELP - has a lot of friends - drinks a lot - hard-working - daddy’s little princess/mama’s boy - assertive - smoking a lot - tells everyone what to do

ISTP - white Kanye West - would kill u if u did something with his shoes - likes weird electronic genres of music I can’t even name - on 9gag all the time - knows all memes - League of Legends pro player - can make funny faces - looks like he was angry - black humor(especially likes jokes about Jews) - awkward silence gains a whole new meaning

ESFP - the whitest person I know - “what do u meat it was sexist?? it was funny!!!!” - only wears yellow pants - likes PE teacher probably a little too much - can’t find a girlfriend - will massage your feet if u don’t watch them properly - has stupid ideas - likes basically every person - drinks wine at parties even though he says that true man should drink only vodka - don’t know when someone is mean to him

ESTP - loud - hey lets go to the another city and get drunk!!! because why not - class clown - talks about her life too much like seriously - and also about various secretions of her body - probably gonna end up in jail - smart and stupid at the same time - lazy - has problems with concentration - talkative - has problems with self-esteem which she covers acting out like a douche

Don’t take this personally lol

[mad-ncity]

Ten Soulmate AU

Soulmate AU where you and your soulmate share the same pain

hello whos ready to suffer

jk i wont make another angst

at least this one wont be

shall we start

its funny how one moment you could be just fine and the next youre in a serious amount of pain

like so much pain you could barely walk

“y/n you should really get that checked out”

“what? im fine! dont worry about me doyoun-aHHH CRAP”

“told you so”

“shut up doyoung or im goin-OK I NEED TO GO TO THE DOCTORS PLS HELP”

so you went to the doctors to see if it was anything you did but turns out its your soulmate who is inflicting this pain on you

and at first youre like ‘ok cool’ but then youre like ‘wHY HAVENT THEY GONE TO THE DOCTORS YET WTF’

best thing the doc could do was give you pain meds

so here you are, walking with doyoung when you see some street dancers

“damn theyre so good”

“theyre good but im better”

doyoung then proceeds to make a fool of himself

and the best worst part, people were staring

and not in the same way the people were staring at the actual dancers

“just to clarify, i dont know him”

so you just walked limped away from your embarrassing friend

but your limping didnt go unnoticed

a certain thai dancer noticed but he didnt approach

he instead helped the hot mess that was trying to dance

“hey hey bud um no lets not do that”

“ok fine ill stop showing my awesomeness. thank you to all my fans watching”

…

“where did y/n go???”

man he must have really been into it if he didnt even notice you leave

“your friend? they left a few minutes ago but they didnt look too good are they ok?”

“actually we just came from the doctors office because theyve been having knee problems”

“…wait why am i telling a stranger this?? Y/N WHERE ARE YOU!!”

he eventually caught up with you

“dONT LEAVE ME AGAIN”

“dont make a fool of yourself in public again”

anyways

ten is standing there after yall left

and hes like “hmm knee problems maybe i should ask them for any tips on dealing with the pain”

oblivious af

so its been a week since that day

anD THE PAIN IS STILL THERE

if you ever meet your soulmate youre throwing fists

not just because theyre making you go through all this pain but for not taking proper care of themselves

you havent been outside in ages because of your knee

but doyoung thinks some exercise should benefit you

so he takes you out for a walk when yall see those street dancers again

“doyoung i s2g if you start dancing im leaving”

thankfully he doesnt

and at the end of their routine ten notices you guys

“ahh! youre the bad dancer!”

“yep thats me! wait what do you mean by bad?? im a godsend”

“what ever you say doyoung”

“y/n if i wanted to i could tickle you and you couldnt run away”

yeah its time to shut up

“y/n are you his friend that has a knee problems?”

“yes i am but its technically not my fault. my soulmate has a problem with taking care of themselves”

“wow thats a shame i was going to ask you if you could help me with my knee problem but i guess i cant ):”

…wait

doyoung reacted before you could and punches your arm

“dAMMIT DOYOUNG IM GOING TO GET YOU”

you and ten are both in pain now

thats when one and one clicked for ten

“aHHHHH WE’RE SOULMATES. YOU MUST BE IN PAIN WHY ARE YOU EVEN WALKING????”

remember how you were going to throw fists? well thats exactly what you do

“pls stop hurting me ;-;”

“why havent you gone to the doctor?? your knee has to be killing you does anyone know about your knee? do you know how much pain youve put me through, mentally and physically? ive been worried sick about your knee and you bet your ass we’re going to the doctors right now”

thats when he slows you down and pulls you into a kiss

“im sorry about putting you through that much pain i didnt really think that much of it but lets go to the doctors now, ok?”

“stop being a cutie i s2g ill hit you again”

cue a laughing ten and a flustered y/n

[bizzaro-stormy-blog]

Like, Questions and Stuff?

eeeeeee i dont think ive ever been tagged in one of these so thanks @latenightgaymer you are the bees knees!!

Where do you currently live? 

portland oregon

Where would you prefer to live if given the option, and why?

oregon is my home, i used to have a dream of moving back to seattle and buying back the house my grandfather built but the city has changed and so have i.

 the weather is usually perfect here (we have had waaaaay too much sun lately) theres green literally everywhere and it feels alive. 

i have always thought about alaska for the same reasons + snow

Shoe size?

14 us its hard to find cheap and nice shoes in my size

Is there a movie/book/show/game you’re looking forward to? What about it has you most excited?

i really want to borrow the scarlet gospels from my friend i know its not a new book but i want to read it super bad, also comic books from another friend (too many to list honestly but Trees, Wytches and the wicked + the Divine are at the front) id also like to read a physical copy of kill six billion demons when i can afford it.

 im super excited for the second seasons of westworld, legion and american gods aswell as the next seasons of Killjoys, the magicians, archer, my hero acadamia, steven universe, shameless, van helsing, its always sunny, RPDR and like all of the netflix shows, im also looking forward to the rest of the seasons of the good place, the orville and the mick...i might watch too much tv. 

im super excited for the .hack gu remaster, the last of us 2, shadow of the colossus remaster, cyberpunk 2077 and bloodborne 2 as unlikely as it is (miyazaki grant us a sequel as you once did for vacuous darksouls)

Wine, or hard liquor?  What is one of your preferred drinks?

i dont drink, thats not to say i havent just that it took soo much for me to feel even a tiny bit light headed im pretty sure i cant get drunk and dont see the point. im a water man and on the occasions i have soda dr pepper and root beer are king, if not lemonade i guess

Physical touch, do you enjoy it?  What’s your favorite spot, what spot do you not want to be touched?

im a bit weird here, i tend to recoil and flinch if im touched (probably a result of growing up with an older brother who used his size to be physically controling and abusive aswell as various other people in my life who have treated me as a punching bag) especially around my chest i tend to curl up and get defensive (again probably the result of an older sister who thinks twisting my nipples so hard they bleed is an apropriate answer to a disagreement).

on the other hand i am very physically affectionate i love to hug people, touch people, hold people, bite people (not in the sexy nibble way so much as the "bro did you just fucking bite me?!" way) anything really if im around other physically affectionate people which is kinda rare as there are like 2 physically affectionate people in my life and i only see one on a regular basis

Go into your YouTube history and provide the link to the 7th video in the list.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbq01mubZqc

though i had to open a video to get to my history so i guess its technically

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rnq3VBQu_kI

What was the last song you listened to?

This Song By RAC ft Rostam

Do you have any thoughts on ‪Nick Jonas‬?

Who?

Water or silicone based?

well gee im a water based life form myself but id be interested in meeting a silicone based life form :p

The most illicit controlled substance you’ve partaken in?

does doctor prescribed Vicodin count?

If you could get your friends/family to watch one specific gay movie, which one would it be?

i would have to say closet monster though i think of that less as a specifically gay movie and more as a delve into the stress and pressure of someone transitioning into adulthood coming from a broken, dysfunctional and traumatic childhood, its honestly such a great movie.

 now a movie where the plot is specifically gay? the weekend, its simple sweet and is easily relatable for most people, honestly i love this movie because it doesn't over dramatize a relationship and makes the characters feel real,

orientation aside its just a good human story

Do you listen to podcasts?  If so do you listen to them while you’re doing something else?

not often its almost always a one off or the savagelovecast, i used to listen to professor blastoff regularly but stopped for some reason, usually im reading or writing and want something not as easy to zone out to as music and not as distracting as silence

What do you do on a Sunday?

not much save check for manga (i know im a neeerd) or webtoon updates which usually ends with me frustratedly remembering Tower Of God updates on Mondays

Birth sign and zodiac?  What do you like most about both, what do you like least.  If you could pick which would you prefer?

ok so in advanced astrology is not much more than a novelty for me and i generally believe signs and what not to hold no sway over real life, i do find it interesting how they can sometimes get portions of peoples personalities and lives right but i would rather attribute that to the trillions of factors that went into the conception and birth of a person before the position of far away stellar bodies (ie babies born 9 months after valentines day probably have romantic parents so they themselves are romantics? idk dude).

that said i am a Taurus and my zodiac sign is the dragon i love them and would never change them, while i dont believe they hold any greater meaning to me i do feel the bull and the dragon represent me more as symbols of myself, though strangely i cant seem to escape them (along with crows and bears...idk dude my conscious and unconscious worlds are strange).

In front of my salad?

Bitch if you would stop breaking into my house to eat your salads you wouldn't be seeing anything you dont want to.

Last book or comic you enjoyed?

uuh physical book? shiiiiit its been a minute but it was ether a david sedaris book or a reread of the water mirror series. 

comic books? old man logan was amazing and i always reread Dango Sunshine occasionally. 

if webcomics count then kill six billion demons, a better place, avas demon, paranatural, gunnerkrigg court, cassiopeia quinn, unsounded,  gloomverse, mokepon and i just reread both Vibe and JUNE (if you havent read any of these please check them out they are amazing)

A kink or fetish you have,  can you explain how it became one for you?

uhmmm i dont know dude im pretty vanilla i dont have allot (read any) experience so im pretty open to trying anything really, i dont know dude even if im outwardly an asshole sometimes when it comes down to it so long as you arent forcing yourself upon someone or something unable (unaware, underdeveloped or unable to fully understand what it means) to give consent im open to you and will atleast try to understand you and your kink and maybe participate with you if thats your goal....

....ok so i might have one fetish? tattoos are hot af that is all...

Supply the link to either an image or video you think will bring a chuckle to those following you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0c29Cu_8bQ

imma just tag yous guys cause you are the collective best

@sbot12 @bonefireheart9 @that1cameraguy @incredible91 @dammitcat @mapcus

[glowstickhaloboy]

AU where keith accompanies lance to get a tattoo

so like. lance expects pain. he knows that getting a tattoo will hurt, he just doesnt know how much.

so he brings keith along with him.

thats the thing. keith is lances rival (but also kinda his friend, so it isnt weird to ask him to watch lance get a tattoo) so lance would never  n e v e r  show weakness in front of keith, even if he was getting a needle repeatedly buzzed through his skin

(lance is not terrified of needles, but that doesnt make him their biggest fan)

he made his appointment like a week ago, and since he was doing something small, they were able to squeeze him in much faster than hed thought they would be able to. suddenly, he has to quickly muster up his bravery.

“are you okay, man?” asks keith as they walk into the shop. “you look kinda pale.”

“what? im fine. shut up. mind your own business.”

“pft.”

lance almost feels bad, but hes more distracted by the fact that hes about to permanently mark his skin with ink. like. forever.

and its a worthwhile tattoo, its his aunts name on his shoulder because she passed away last year, and a lot of the adults in lance’s family have the same tattoo and he wants to prove that he’s not a baby anymore, but its still a big commitment

lance and keith are taken to the back room, where a guy is literally in the process of getting a tattoo done, which should not be a surprise in a tattoo parlor, but still lance kinda stares like he cant believe hes really here

keith nudges him. “are you sure youre okay?” he asks again. its the genuine concern in his voice that steels lance’s resolve. bastard.

“i am fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine Keith, what part of that statement dont you understand??” he glances back at the dude with half a dragon on his back. gulps. “totally fine.”

“because if you arent sure about this,” keith continues, “you shouldnt do it.”

lance scoffs. “im sure, keith. dont be ridiculous. and since when did you care? besides, i already made a downpayment, so if i dont go through with it, im out 60 bucks.”

keith shrugs. “whatever you say.”

so eventually the guy getting dragon-ed leaves with more of a dragon, not all of it, because apparently huge tattoos are done in sessions (by hour how can someone be okay with getting needled for h o u r s at a time???) and the artist wipes down seemingly everything in the room with disinfectant. lance is grateful for this. it gives him plenty of time to bolster his courage again.

the artist explains everything through to lance, and he doesnt know why hes still nervous. he really doesnt want the needle to hurt. he doesnt want to regret the decision in three months. he doesnt want everyone to make a big deal out of him getting a tattoo.

he has to take off his shirt because the tattoo is going to be on the back of his shoulder. hes been using humor to cover up his freak out this entire time, but now if he laughs he’ll mess up the tattoo, so he just has to lay there, trying not to look at keith, and listen to the pandora station the shop has playing.

finally, just as its about to start, even though keith is there, lance admits to the artist, “the anticipation is going to be horrible if im not facing you-”

“relax, man,” the artist says. “im not gonna leave you hanging. I’ll tell you before i come at you.”

and lance is like. okay. you can do this. brave face time. keith is right there. time to impress him.

and then the needle starts buzzing and lances eyes must go as wide as saucers. keith hides a snicker behind his hand and lance glares at him harder than he glared at uncle ricardo when he went for the last quesadilla at lance’s sister’s wedding. “i dont see you getting stabbed over here, keith,” he says.

keith shrugs. “you chose this,” is all he says.

“damn right i did, and its important to me, so stop making fun of me, you nerd ass jerk face.”

keith sobers. “youre right, sorry.” hes still smiling, though.

and, okay, there is pain. theres definitely pain. but its honestly not horrible. thinking about what it was going to be was definitely worse than going through it. lance isnt a wimp, he finds a rhythm to breathe in and grits his teeth past the burn.

all in all, the tattoo does not take more than fifteen minutes. lance is actually surprised by how fast it goes. he stands when the artist tells him to and twists around to check out his back in the mirror.

his heart soars. it looks awesome. he may or may not tear up a little.

the artist helps lance bandage the tattoo and gives him instruction for aftercare, and lance returns the favor with a generous tip.

keith is holding out lance’s shirt, and lance flushed when he realizes that hes still naked from the waist up. he snatches his shirt and tugs it back on.

“it does look really good, man,” says keith.

lance is practically glowing. “it does, doesnt it?” he says. “my family’s going to love it.” and then softer, “i love it.”

keith punches lance’s arm lightly. “you should. and, for the record, i was surprised at how well you kept it together. except for gritting your teeth once, you really handled yourself.”

lance’s blush deepens. “were you watching that closely?” he asks, embarrassed.

keith doesnt say anything because they reach the door to the shop. he holds it open for lance. lance catches a whiff of the pizza place across the street.

“dude, i am starving. i havent been able to eat all day, i was so nervous. you wanna grab something to eat? my treat, since i dragged you all the way out there.”

keith--keith--smiles. “i’d like that,” he says.

once theyre seated inside, lance asks, “so come on then, if you were getting a tattoo, what would it be?”

“i already have one,” keith says, stone serious.

“really?! where??”

“on my foot. its a wolf’s head that says courage. its spelled out in the teeth.”

“no way! youre lying to me right now! i gotta see this!”

keith rolls his eyes. “obviously im lying lance. but if i had to get one... i dont know. i would want something personal. but i feel like i dont have enough pieces of my own life to pick something out yet.”

lance stares for a second. blinks. “keith, that is literally the saddest thing anyone has ever said to me. you arent waiting for your life to stumble back towards you! youre living your life right now. who you are right now is, well, who you are. and your life is what it is. even if youre not, i dont know, complete, youve still got to have things that are important to you.”

“yeah.” keith looks down at the table, folding a closed sugar packet. “i guess youre right.”

their pizza shows up. they dig in, and the conversation turns lighter. lance surprises himself by thinking how much hes enjoying spending time with keith. keith, of all people, makes lance happy. like he has any right to.

“alright,” keith says at last, his mouth sort of full. “it would be a massive cock over my heart.”

lance chokes. “KEITH.”

“because of how much i love cock, lance, you see, its whats most important to me-”

“WHY ARE YOU SAYING THIS TO ME.”

keith breaks and starts laughing. “Shh youll get us kicked out!”

lance stifles his heart attack with great difficulty. because keith, who lance had the biggest hate-crush on in the history of hate-crushes, just told lance that he loves cock, and lance has one of those. and it is definitely getting the wrong idea from this conversation.

“i retract my question on the grounds that you are not taking this seriously,” says lance, blushing furiously.

keith nods. “thats fair.”

they recover quickly and finish their pizza. as theyre walking out, lance realizes that he really doesnt want their fun day together to end yet. he invites keith back to his house for video games or a movie or whatever, and hes sure hes going to be shut down. but keith, surprisingly, accepts.

halfway into the movie, keith breaks the stiff canal of distance lance placed between them on the couch to say, “lance. you know ive been hitting on you all day, right?”

lance chokes again even though there isnt anything in his mouth this time. “oh yeah?” he stammers. “well, m-maybe you’re so lousy at it i couldn’t even tell!” his voice sounds shrill. his face is burning. he cant look keith in the eyes.

“i thought that might be a possibility,” keith says coolly. “that’s why im telling you know: i have a crush on you, lance.”

“You cant just say stuff like that!” lance protests, waving his arms around defensively. “what am i supposed to say back to that?”

“hopefully, something like, ‘wow, me too, keith, today has been the most fun ever.’”

without looking at keith, lance slowly melts leftways on the couch, so he ends up pooled somewhere in keiths general area. “i had fun today,” he says. “i think youre hot. and nice. but thats all youre getting out of me.”

keith laughs, and lance decides he could stand to hear that again. all in all, not a bad day

[monbabi]

Can you do them reacting to their S/O being good at baking but horrible at cooking?

ofc!! sorry it took so long exams have been kickin my ass

shownu

• u two are baking brownies for the boys since theyve been stressed lately and u wanted to do something nice for them• shownu watches in awe as u expertly pour in and mix the brown batter in the bowl• u always had some kinda magic touch when it came to baking, u knew how much sugar and flour to add in and when to add the vanilla extract• it just made shownu smile bc wow how cute is that ur working ur butt off for some sweet treats for him and his members• “hey (y/n) i’ll take over the stirring can u make eggs or something? i havent eaten all day”• u freeze and give him a smile• “sure”• u hand him the bowl and walk over to the fridge to grab some eggs. easy enough right?• u crack the eggs into the pan, not failing to leave some egg shell in the yolk thats starting to sizzle in the pan• u turn to shownu whos diligently mixing the batter, workin up a sweat • tbh he looks real good• hes totally shirtless, wearing grey sweatpants and to top it off, a cute little pink apron that looks like its gonna bust open at the seams• u lean against the stove, basking in the appearance of this actual adonis in an adorably domestic setting • unfortunately u totally forget that stoves are hot and pull ur hand away as it stings with heat• shownu puts the bowl down and rushes over to u, holding ur hands and blowing frantically at them• “babe are u okay?” he asks worriedly, his eyes watching ur reaction closely to see if ur in any great pain• u reassure him “im fine” until u hear the beeping of the fire alarm• “oh my GOD”• u turn around to see the pan totally covered in SMOKE and shownu switches the stove off • ur kinda upset that u cant even make eggs for ur boyfriend but shownu just chuckles and kisses ur forehead• “next time i’ll cook okay?”

wonho

• “baby are u hungry?” wonho comes into ur shared room where ur sitting in bed on ur phone. he wraps his arms around ur waist and nuzzles his nose into ur neck• u smile at the sensation. “mm kinda? what do u wanna eat?”• he gives u a knowing smile and u sigh and get up from the mattress• “ramen?”• he smiles and takes a hold of ur hand, stroking ur index finger with his thumb • u know me so well"• the two of u chase each other to the kitchen and u grab the very familiar plastic bowl labelled shin ramen • u rip off the lid and unlock the hot water dispenser, filling the bowl to an unsteady level where the water is teetering around the edges. u put the bowl in the microwave and punch in 50 seconds• all seems well until u hear some popping noises from inside the microwave• “um. babe”• “yea?” u ask, too scared to turn around and see what happened inside the microwave• “did u take out the sauce packet before adding water and putting it in there?”• “oh my g-”• BEEP• wonho moves u out of the way and opens the microwave, his face contorting at the smell of burning plastic and the sight of ramen sauce power all over the inner surface. some soup flowed over the top too• u laugh nervously, put ur hand over wonhos, and close the microwave. u head over to the fridge and take out a plate• “how about we eat the macarons i made yesterday?” u give a sheepish smile• a smile creeps onto his face and a goofy laugh escapes his lips. ur hysterically laughing and he’s bent over his knees, so thoroughly amused by ur antics• “man i dont know how u do it. but yea i’ll take a macaron” he opens his mouth. u pop one into his mouth and he chews then hums with delight• “these are so good??? what happened just now? are u the same (y/n) i know and love?”• u two laugh again and he puts u in a playful headlock and plants kisses on the top of ur head

minhyuk

• u got a text earlier that ur boyfriends gonna come home late so u wanna surprise him with a nice meal• u can bake a mean cake but ur not too confident about ur cooking abilities• but u’ve baked minhyuk so many cookies and cakes and cupcakes ur worried for that boys blood sugar• so after watching 3 youtube tutorials u try to make kimchi stew, one of his favorites• u roll up ur sleeves and get to work. u throw some broth and vegetables into the pot• u cut some kimchi then some fishcake some spring onions u get the pork out of the fridge• u think its going well • until u get a text from minhyuk that he’s on the way home• according to ur calculations he was supposed to be coming home late• shit• u do some quick math if u boil the stew at maximum heat for 2 minutes u’ll finish in time before minhyuk gets home so u crank that stove up and • KACHOW the pot overflows• soup is everywhere, the kimchi is on the floor, ur kitchen looks like a natural disaster• “honey! where are u???”• he comes into the kitchen sweaty from practice and ur just on the floor crying next to ur empty pot, food is scattered around the floor• “oh baby what happened?” he cooes at u and crouches down next to u, wiping ur tears with his thumb• u barely manage to get a sentence out• “i-i tried to cook u” u hiccup, “something but e-everything just fell apart” • he kisses u on the forehead and stands up to grab his phone• “well i like pizza. how about we order some pizza and we watch kitchen nightmares yea?” u flinch at kitchen nightmares. “okay how about we watch house hunters” u nod frantically and smile• totally ignore the mess on the floor• u clean it up eventually dont worry

kihyun

• u made a deal with minhyuk that at the next house party u were gonna cook something to bring and kihyun was gonna bake a cake to bring along with the food u made and in return he was gonna make a video of himself flicking a booger and post it on instagram• the problem? minhyuk knows u cant cook for shit and kihyun cant bake for shit • kihyun originally protested saying “he doesn’t want his house to end in flames” but after minhyuk kept egging him on saying he was a wuss, he threw on his apron and started reading martha stewart books• so u and him are in ur kitchen, face in hands and sitting at the counter• “why did i agree to this”• “why did i let u agree to this”• u sigh and slide off the stool. “i mean i can make like, fried rice right?” kihyun groans. “knowing u it might result in a call to 911” u shoot him a glare. “hey bobby flay at least i know how to bake a cake”• he scratches his head and gets off the stool. “how about we make this a competition between ourselves. whoever makes the better dish wins”• “ur on yoo kihyun”• its like iron chef u two start scrambling around ur kitchen, opening cabinets and packages • u lift the lid of the rice cooker and groan in frustration as u see a clean, empty container• kihyun indulges himself in a shrill giggle until it abruptly stops when he’s opened the last cabinet and found no cake mix• “u’ve got to be kidding me” • u hover over the grey pot, finally shutting off the faucet when the rice grains look like they’re drowning in tap water • kihyun’s throwing sugar, flour, and eggs into a bowl, trusting his “chef’s intuition” that he doesn’t need measuring cups for a mere cake• u throw the soggy rice into the pan and just start adding stuff u think will taste good together in there. zucchini, bits of kale, ketchup, leftover chicken that probably has been sitting in ur fridge for at least 2 weeks • it smells pretty goddamn awful but when u look over at kihyun u think u have a good shot at winning• he’s gotten green food coloring all over his hands and t-shirt and the batter’s completely runny• “how u doin ogre there”• “im never doing this ever again”

hyungwon

• u two are laying on opposite sides of the couch, sitting up to show each other dog pictures and whatnot• u see a video on instagram showing u how to make this yummy looking beef over rice thing• u lean over hyungwons knee, excitedly showing him the video and how u should make it for him• he gives u this knowing look • “(y/n) do u remember the last time u cooked something?”• “no why”• “i was taking a nap and u tried to make this weird chicken thing u saw on youtube”• “uh huh”• “and when i walked into the kitchen”• “yea?”• “i have never seen so much fire-”• u playfully slap him on the thigh, pouting. “i forgot to turn the stove down while it was boiling!!!” u huff, turning away while crossing ur arms• hyungwon laughs and sits up to ruffle ur hair• “but u made it up by baking cupcakes to give to the very nice firemen who saved our apartment”• u giggle and bring ur knees up to ur chin, reminiscing in the time u almost burned down ur entire apartment complex• hyungwon sits crosslegged facing u, staring at ur face• “what?”• “im just wondering how the hell u managed to do that”• “no cupcakes for u then”• he whines and the two of u share a laugh and settle back into the sofa to continue laughing at twitter memes

jooheon

• he never fails to send u a text asking if u’ve eaten yet and if ur free, to go out and get lunch together• its the sweetest thing and u decide u wanna do something nice for him• so u roll up ur sleeves and make a lunchbox for him. its kinda childish but it seems easy to make and for ur……limited cooking skills, its ideal• ur in the kitchen, scraping an egg off the pan as it burns to a crisp• “aw man that was the last egg,” u whine, looking at all the failed prototypes on a plate next to the stove• u begrudgingly roll up the burnt egg in the lunchbox and set up some lettuce on the side, trying to make it presentable at least• now time for the Meat• the last time u cooked meat was when u and jooheon were out eating kbbq and whenever the tongs were in ur hand u’d somehow toss the meat in a way that cooked it. lets say well overdone• jooheon had to call a worker to get the fire down even tho it was at its lowest heat. nobody on the restaurant knows how u did it• so yea ur not the best at cooking meat but hey second times the charm• so u slide the beef into the pan, satisfied with the sizzling sound that came after• now the hard part. knowing when to flip it so it doesnt slowly burn into charcoal. so u just keep flipping it mindlessly, too scared to let it burn• the beef is just NOT turning the brown that it usually does when jooheon cooks it and u settle for when the beef is a weird brown, pink, red—u dont even know what color it is but its 12:30pm and jooheons lunch break is about to start• u shrug as u pack the lunchbox. u made cookies before this mess so• u drive up to the building complex and climb up the stairs to his studio. u punch in the passcode and pop the door open• jooheon hears the door click and turns around in his chair, giving u that sweet dimpled smile • u show him the lunchbox and bag of cookies u’ve been hiding behind ur back and he opens his arms to bring u into a hug• “how did i get so lucky?” he kisses the top of ur head and sits u down on his lap• he turns the chair around and u place the lunchbox and the cookie bag on his desk in front of his monitor and open it• he has to stop himself from laughing, the corners of his lips trembling to rise into a smile. u flick him on the arm, a smile growing on ur own face. “shut up i tried my best!!!!!”• jooheon kisses ur temple, a small chuckle leaving his lips still dumbfounded by the mess of food in the lunchbox• “i made cookies?” u suggest• “yea we can share those” jooheon closes the lunchbox

changkyun

• u guys ate out at this one restaurant that had really good pork stir fry• so naturally u two went to the internet and searched up recipes to cook at home, inspired by the dish• after finding a seemingly easy recipe online, u and changkyun head to the kitchen and grab whatevers in ur fridge• oh by the way its 1 in the morning so theres no supermarkets still open • it sounded like a good idea at the time• anyways u two are jus rummaging through ur kitchen, substituting whatever needs to be substituted• “hey kyun we’re outta sugar”• “we have lucky charms”• “that works” • u and him lay out the shabby ingredients on the counter• pork? eh leftover hot wings should do• bok choy? iceberg lettuce thats been sitting in ur fridge for 3 months• but at least u have soy sauce• u start choppin up the lettuce, slicin and dicin and ignoring whatever wilted leaves u see bc hey food is food• changkyun: hey how do i start the stove• “…….ur kidding right”• u put down ur knife and walk to the stove, hesitant to turn any knobs• “um its this one right?”• u switch on the stove on the inner right corner which seemed fine to u…….until the roll of napkins next to it caught fire• “HOLY SH-” “HOLY SHIT”• the fire alarm starts beeping and u freak out and start blowing on it until changkyun shoves his hand into ur face. “DONT BLOW ON IT ITLL GET BIGGER” • “WHAT DO WE DO THEN”• luckily ur dating the son of a scientist so he grabs a pot lid from the cabinet underneath and throws it on top of the fire, stopping the flow of oxygen and u hear the sizzle of ur bounty napkins • u and changkyun breathe out a relieved sigh and u lean on him• u suggest making cookies tomorrow and changkyun insists on putting lucky charms in them• u roll ur eyes, “yea yea whatever lets clean up and go to bed”

[mildlymaddy]

Ask and you shall receive I guess. ;)

Lilo future!fic, in which both are single, Liam’s got two kids, and I end up calling Liam’s first-born “James” because the fucker still hasn’t shared his actual baby’s name with us.

Liam was in over his head. He knew it, and it only served to annoy him further. This was stupid. He was a grown-ass man. He had kids for Christ’s sake!

 There was absolutely no reason for him to angst over the meaning of a bloody text message.

 Especially not one that said, Im not gonna comment until Ive tried it myself.

 Louis had added the sunglasses emoji at the end, which was nice but didn’t help Liam figure out whether he was serious or not.

 And knowing whether Louis was serious or not felt quite bloody important, considering the message Liam had sent him right before had been: Then she said i was lousy in bed, like, can you believe?!

 Liam took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

The thing was, lately, there’d been quite a few of these messages from Louis. Like, Liam didn’t want to jump to conclusions or anything, but ever since Louis had come back to L.A., single and determined to take over the world with Liam (there’d never been any question of whether Liam might have other plans, but then again he’d only been too happy to join in. Endless touring was less appealing at 38 than it had been at 23, and writing for others with Louis had always been part of his dreams), they'd gotten… close.

 And they'd always been close, obviously, even once time and distance had made their friendship more quiet and soft, had turned cuddles and pranks into yearly birthday messages and dinners that had to be planned months in advance, but even in their hay days it had never been… it’d never been like this.

 Or maybe Liam was just too old to remember exactly how flirty Louis used to be. But he'd watched some old 1d interviews, just to see, and while Louis teased him a lot and touched him even more… it just wasn't the same. Liam was sure of it.

 Except, of course, for all the moments when he wasn't.

 He started typing a reply, then deleted it, staring at the blinking cursor on his screen with increasing desperation. It had been 10 minutes since Louis had sent his message and the longer Liam waited, the more awkward his reply would be, no matter what.

 “Daaad, can you stop jiggling your leg? I’m trying to watch my show!”

 Liam looked up from his phone to find his daughter glaring at him from behind her fringe, earbuds plugged firmly in her ears to listen to whatever she was watching on her phone, curled up on the other side of the couch. He wasn’t sure how him jiggling his leg two seats over was disrupting her focus, but clearly it was, and she huffed again before turning her attention back to her show, mumbling something Liam couldn’t make out but which was most probably along the lines of “grown-ups suck.”

 He’d never realized, back when he’d started a family, that that meant dealing with moody teenagers down the line, and not just adorable babies and cute 8-year-old kids. The wake-up call had been brutal (and his mother’s amused look the first time he’d complained to her about the ungratefulness of teens a little uncalled for). The fact that he only had them one month out of two since his divorce didn’t help things any.

 “Sorry, sorry,” he mumbled, leaving the living room to go lock himself in the first floor bathroom, phone clutched in one sweaty hand.

 He sat on the edge of the bathtub, legs resuming their nervous jiggling, and felt his heart doing a sickly somersault when he saw the notifications telling him Louis had sent another string of messages. That was it; he’d missed his shot by waiting too long. Louis had moved on to another subject and-

 That was a comeon, in case you cant tell.

I mean unles you CAN tell and yure not interested.

Which wouls explain why you havent written in 15mn i guess i should take the hint

Fuck thiss awkward forget i said anything.

 Liam read the words over and over again, just in case they’d morph into some inane discussion about playing dog sitter for Louis or setting up a writing session, but they remained the same.

 Louis had been hitting on him?

 Louis had been hitting on him.

 ...

 For all that Liam had been convinced something was going on, getting actual confirmation of it felt like taking a deep breath under water.

 “Fuck,” he muttered, desperately trying to keep his breathing under control.

 It wasn't until moving dots popped up on his screen to show Louis was writing yet another message that Liam finally sprung to action, clumsily typing his reply and sending it before he could second-guess himself, typos and all.

 I wqsnt sure yu were skirting

 He blinked at his screen. Fuck. Stupid predictive text. When had he even ever written the word “skirting”?!

 I meant flirtng*

flirting*

Fuck

 Liam groaned. Maybe if he chucked his phone into the toilets he could pretend that those last messages had been a bug.

 He'd always thought this kind of thing would get easier with age (well mostly he'd thought he would get married and live happily ever after...), but if anything, this felt worse than he remembered. How did anyone ever hook up with anyone without keeling over from the stress of it all?!

 The cheerful “blip!” of a new message brought his attention back to the screen.

 Does that mean you dont midn?

 Liam swallowed around the lump in his throat. He was pretty sure he was supposed to feel relief but for some reason all he could feel right now was rising panic. Surely this was a mistake, his brain pointed out. This was all a misunderstanding. He was getting Louis’s meaning completely wrong.

 Still, he made himself write back, I def dont mind. Imall for flirting.

 Dots came and went on Louis's side of the chat for quite a long time after that, leaving Liam ample time to worry about the ways in which he could have misunderstood Louis's messages (admittedly, he couldn't think of one, but that's how it worked, right? That’s the reason people felt so mortified afterwards), until finally Louis's answer popped up on his screen.

 Im gonna be horribly blunt here im sorry but i wanna make sure. So if i drop by your house tonight with two bottles of wine and push you against tye wall and snog you senseless youre ok with that right?

 The relieved laughter that burst out of Liam’s mouth surprised even him, and he let himself slide to the tiled ground, his heartbeat going wild with happiness as he tremblingly typed back, ive got the kids so might be best not to but i woudlnr say no to some snogging on the weekend?

 He pressed Send and rested his chin on his bent knees, staring at his phone like a lovesick teenager, which is exactly how he felt right now. This was ridiculous. It was also the best Liam had felt in months.

 A shriek coming from the ground floor dragged him out of his bubble and he struggled back to his feet, frowning, but the stomping of feet on the stairs and the vengeful “Emma I'll punch your teeth in!!” made him reconsider. Possibly staying in the bathroom was safest for now.

 A door slammed down the corridor, then he heard Emma yelling back, “I'll fucking tell mum, you tosser!” before another door slammed shut, a little closer.

 He really wished she’d stop using the mum card. First because that was unfair for Cheryl, and second because… well, he could be fearsome too, damnit. He wasn’t just the “hot, goofy dad” (as amusing as having Emma’s friends mooning at him was, mostly because his 20-year-old self had forever been preserved online).

 He had to go talk to them both, but a glance at his phone showed him Louis had sent another message.

 I dont know if ill still want to snog you then, payno. 3 days is a long time.

 Liam grinned. Far away from fighting teenagers, something warm was unfurling in his veins, spreading through his body, carrying with it a faint thrilling note, just enough to make his heartbeat a little irregular in the nicest of ways.

 Ill make it worth the wait, he typed back, biting his bottom lip around a smile. His heart was heavy with happiness in his chest and he never wanted the feeling to go away again.

 He’d never considered the possibility of falling for someone he’d known since he was a teenager, but now that he was, he was starting to wonder how it hadn’t happened earlier. How he’d gone without.

 I expect you to, Louis sent back.

 Count on it.

 There was renewed stomping in the corridor, then the noise of a door banging open and a shout. Liam sighed.

 Gotta mke sure the kids dont kill each othr. Talk later?

 He stared at the dots as Louis typed his answer, unwilling to get out into the fray just yet, unwilling to let go of his own slice of teenagehood. He couldn’t make out the words that were being yelled down in James’s room, but they clearly weren’t anything he could tolerate. He really needed to step in.

 Anytime.

…

<3

Oh god pretend i dind’t sent that.

You know what screw it.

<333

Liam beamed down at his phone, sent a heart back (or ten), and stepped out of the bathroom.