#i honestly think this is why things feel like they've gone backward

[theghostofashton]

.

[itsclydebitches]

I'm angry about Ted leaving to go back to Kansas but thinking about it, it is in character? Ted is not a person that would ask his ex wife and son to uproot their entire lives to go to London for him he is however, the type of person to put his own wishes and happiness on the back burner to make his loved ones happy. Also, realistically coaches usually don't stay coaches long, so it doesn't make since to ask his family to move to London when he might not have that job forever? So yeah Ted leaving sucks but it does make since if you think about it. Perhaps we will get a special with him coming back to Richmond one day? I can't wait for all the fix it's that are coming tho!

You and me both, anon!!! I fully plan to immerse myself in fic this weekend, as I know the speedy writers will have gotten at least some stuff up by then :D And I never thought about a special... Honestly, I've been praying for a Season Four after that ending (even though it would feel weird after the show "finished") but hell yeah, I'd take a short, canonical special to patch at least some of this up.

Regarding his characterization, I do think Ted has made great strides when it comes to speaking up for his own wants and needs. Just this season I'd point to things like his judicious use of the Diamond Dogs (turning to others for advice before making big decisions, something he notably didn't do with Kansas), his playful "You know how I feel about winning and losing, Trent" (acknowledging his newfound balance between striving for professional goals and people pleasing), and his entire speech to his mom, complete with cursing her out multiple times (recognizing when he hasn't been treated well and acknowledging that with full emotion behind it, rather than trying to bury it all behind a smile). I think that last one is nicely paralleled with what Beard and the others think is happening with Ted and Nate. Meaning, they believe Ted is once again burying his anger and feelings of betrayal, not realizing that he's already worked through his disappointment and come out on the side of forgiveness. The point though is that until Beard realizes that Nate is simply him X number of years ago -- a friend of Ted's who betrayed him and now needs a second chance -- he continually calls Ted out on (supposedly) burying those emotions and the need to acknowledge them.

All of which is to say that one of the (smaller) reasons why the Kansas ending hurts is because it does feel like Ted has gone backwards in terms of his growth... but I do get where you're coming from. 100%. Ted remains an incredibly self-sacrificial person, even after all the work he's done, so I think we could make a case for him being averse to putting Michelle and Henry out like that, or even putting them in the position of making a choice by saying, "I've decided to stay, you decide whether you'll move here or we'll keep this long distance." So yes, it's potentially in character for Ted -- or at least a Season One/Two version of Ted -- but that still leaves the rest of the cast OOC as a result. If Kansas was meant to stem from the flaw we've seen Ted embodying since day one -- AKA putting aside his own happiness to make it easier on someone else -- then EVERYONE should be calling him out on it. He has a support system now that is tailor-made to spot Ted's unique pitfalls and, like they've done in the past, gently and even not-so-gently correct him. If this was Ted's line of thinking, I would expect the writing to have him verbally acknowledge that at some point, leading to one of Rebecca's exclamations of "Bullshit!" Roy going, "That's fucking stupid." Beard muttering an "Oh my god" and looking like he's reading to kill him, a la the Paris assumption. Higgins shaking his head, Trent hesitantly raising a hand with a pointed correction, Keeley coming in with a bucket-load of concern, the team all sharing confused mutterings as they try to work through this ridiculous perspective, Ted's actual therapist getting to talk to him for the first time in an age and providing professional insight.

It might be in character for Ted to self-sacrifice like that, but it's out of character for everyone else to just let him do it. So we're left with this strange, dual reading of a) Ted is Totally Happy about going back to Kansas... he just doesn't look or sound or act like it. Funny that! or b) Ted is Very Unhappy about going back to Kansas and everyone around him (with the exception of Rebecca a bit) just shrugs and accepts that when they've never let Ted wallow in his self-damaging decisions before.

As for the other bit, I don't know anything about coaching, but I do know that Ted Lasso has played too fast and loose with those rules for it to really matter. I don't think we can argue for realism now when we started this whole story with a totally unqualified American football coach getting hired, the kitman is made a coach in like a year, Roy accepts his job by dramatically walking onto the pitch in the middle of a game... Even if coaches don't last very long irl, it's not like the show has ever adhered to such real world rules before, so there's no reason for them to start informing our reading of the story now.

[ghostlytalkin]

Addressing some much needed things

I'm going to address some things that people have sent to other blogs about me that I know need to be addressed. I'm writing this to make things clear.

The comment about 4/20 also being hitler's birthday

That was fully insensitive and I acknowledge that. I know my apology seemed ass backwards and trying to excuse it. I don't want to excuse it. I said something insensitive, I was told it came off as insensitive even if it wasn't meant to be that way. I fully apologize, it was wrong and I own up to the fuck up. I'm not in the jewish faith, I do have a step grandmother and friends that are of Jewish faith and talked with them about it and let them dress me down for the comment and then I actively looked for resources to better myself about it. I don't want to hide and I can understand that makes me as bad as some of the people I've posted about.

Are you Eevee on discord?

Yes. I wasn't really hiding it and I knew that somebody would figure it out and out me. I know people have had issues with me for one or another reason. I just ask you don't harass people that do know me and have been friends with me. I've also gone by Evie, Demitri, Demi, Kole, Cobi, and Evan at different times in my life while trying to find my identity. The names Demitri, Demi, Cobi, and Evan I have not used on tumblr. I used Kole I think for a year before I got into indie tumblr and dropped it.

Rave Siren/Draven Siren & his brother Kale

I made Rave when I was identifying as a trans man and as gay. My self insert kind of character that I was/have been using for years to help with trauma. Kale was supposed to be the older brother I wish I had to protect me. I was the older sibling protecting my younger siblings in situations and during a bad time I made Rave and his brother as a coping mechanism. I'm not perfect for it, I can def see the issues I've brought with him and have retired him. This was a coping tool when I was young that I clung to. I am very sorry for causing issues with him for people. You can tell me to fuck off. He's retired now and won't be used.

Do the findrps mods know about you?

Yes. I was open with them about my blog and I've talked with them regarding it and told them about things I've gotten that I think they should know. I don't have any power to kick or ban people. I mostly just let people know when they've broken a rule regarding promos and give some opinions. That's all I do. I've told them I will do whatever they wish regarding my modship. I know people want to see me leave but I consider them my friends and I don't have a lot of those right now. I do not have access to their tumblr and would never get rid of anything sent as I don't have authority and that makes me uncomfortable. Right now I am taking a few days away.

Why don't you shut down your blog?

Even with people that hate me, some of the information I've posted has helped somebody feel heard and like they're not crazy. I did mess up over tagging rpt and breaking the tag. I don't know what the future this blog holds.

Talking over groups

I didn't know this was what I was doing, I am sorry. I shouldn't and I didn't realize that I've been doing that and nobody has said anything. I can learn from that and do better to shut up. Sometimes I think I'm being helpful and if nobody is saying otherwise I don't know better. I'm willing to learn and do better. Again, I am sorry for the harm I caused doing this.

Name Dropping

I've mentioned some people, both that I have positive experiences with and negative. I realize now that not everybody will take that well and those I have positive experience with I shouldn't have shared. With Dev I honestly did not know what was happening and Dev and I have been talking since then. Mentioning other rpts I don't know if that's taboo. It's been a long time since I did an rpt and back then other rpts mentioned other rpts. If that's changed I didn't know and those I have positive experiences with I won't be naming anymore. For the negative experiences, it started little and people sharing and me sharing my experiences.

Gender-bending/Cis-swap

I don't condone this. idk why people are thinking that. I said I thought bender-bending was switched for cis-swap because years ago there was a huge argument about it. I don't think it's good and for me it's even triggering at times. I don't like it, I think it's stupid, it doesn't make sense to me.

Posting a slur

I realize now that was a bad idea, it was heat of the moment. The ask has now been removed and I've given an apologized to the one affected. I did alert them I had posted it but I shouldn't have. this is a learning experience for me and something that I can better myself regarding.

Other Items

If you are comfortable, even on anon, tell me the things you've seen me do that is harmful. Things that I've done to make you or others uncomfortable. I want to learn and do better. I'm not using any excuse for behaviors, I genuinely want to know so I can do better and learn what has hurt people and how I can fix myself. I don't want to be the person that keeps hurting others without knowing. I want to learn what I've done is wrong and correct my behavior. This is learning for me, I am trying to learn and change myself. I am really, really sorry for the harm that I have caused. I can't express my regret and the hurt I've caused people.

This next part will be under read more but I want to address this while I'm sitting in the hospital waiting to get checked into grippy sock vacation. I am not looking for Sympathy I want to be transparent about what is going on.

Last night after being outed by rpcvent, which please don't send them hate, my inbox was flooded with death threats. Ranging from sl*tting my wrist which I have a history of SH, to being ab*rted, to much more vile things I don't feel comfortable saying. As well as being misgendered. I am not mentally well, I hide it and have been getting help for suicide idealization. Reading the anons coming in I had a moment of weakness and decided to try and do what the anons said.

I was taken to the hospital and I won't go into much detail but I am awake, waiting to be admitted to a mandated psyche ward to be watched. I let one of my friends have access to this blog to delete the anons that caused the issue. I will not have my phone, and when I return my therapist will read anything that people have sent about me to help me work though and fix myself.

[clovermotors]

ok i’ve been thinking (really shouldn’t tbh).

Lando is the son of the boss in a big crime syndicate. He knows what his father does but he doesn’t want to follow in his fathers footsteps, or take over when he retires, and that’s okay. He does the odd job, nothing too dangerous, he’s precious cargo after all. A handsome new member catches his eye, his names is Carlos. There are rules against fraternisation within the organisation but they can't help falling for each other. When it turns out that Carlos is actually an undercover agent, Lando must decide between love and loyalty.

Also Doctor Zhivago but make it Carlando. I’ve been thinking about that one A LOT.

listen i saw doctor zhivago and thought about hotel trivago so please do not count on me for that

BUT. KARENINA. UR MIND!!!! ABSOLUTELY. ABSOLUUUUTELY. PLEASE. FCMDJKEDHRMWMD

i threw little ideas that floated into my mind here im sorry i just could not resist

I SAY. GO AHEAD AND THINK WHAT YOU WISH TO THINK. i think of carlando aus 25/8 and maybe i dont finish writing them but that's okay with me because honestly we think for fun. and we think fun.

It's not like Carlos is careless, or whatever. But perhaps, the one time he is, it's for the worst thing of his life. He knows, too, perhaps its his fault for letting Lando wander around on his own.

One look. One look at the file in Lando's hands and he knows what he's holding, sees the coffee stain on the folder where he splashed a cup of it when he was looking through it at a local coffee shop. The file about the crime syndicate they work for.

And honestly, he really, really should've known better, because falling for the son of the crime boss you're trying to nab has never gone well in any situation. Feelings ruin everything. Carlos knows that much.

Lando meets his gaze, and just like all the other times they've crossed glances, Carlos can't tear his eyes away, no matter how tortured Lando looks, ignoring the devastation and destruction that Carlos notes down, and the loss of amber specks that make his eyes look green under the light, and-

"Carlos... why- why do you have a case file on... the company we work for?" and perhaps, and just maybe, just maybe, this is the first time Lando has ever approached him with such apprehension. The waver in his voice is gentle, like the swaying of a boat riding the waves.

Carlos thinks about what he's about to say and hopes Lando is ready for the big one. God. It's easier to tell the truth than a lie. He knows where his morals stand.

He breathes in. "Let's start from the top, okay? Hello. I'm Carlos Sainz Jr, undercover agent for the CIA," Carlos takes his badge out from his pocket. He can hear Lando's breath hitch.

"investigating about a crime syndicate documented under the name of Adam Norris. Nice to meet you."

Carlos watches, heartbroken and heartached, as the wave of realisation, the wave, all consuming. God. This badge that he's always been proud of. Carlos looks at his face, so babyish and hopeful of the world, and him now, with lines all across from stress, and a singular beam of hope. Perhaps this beam will diminish and flicker now, and Carlos watches again as Lando has to steady himself, grabbing the chair.

He takes a step closer.

"Don't. Carlos, please, don't." Lando cries out, and his voice cracks. Lando staggers backwards now, and god, this distance is something that aches, something that kills. Holding his badge- for it is the only form of courage he can muster left from the ruins of himself- he takes another step closer.

If this is the truth, if this is the impact of the truth, if this is the wreckage he has to pick up, sieve through, rebuild, he'd tell lies for the rest of his life.

[romansrgn]

ch. 8

"I can't believe we just did that." Braelin shook her head in disbelief.

Dante looked down at his naked girlfriend."You regret what happened?"

"No, of course not. I'm just surprised that this was the place we decided to, you know—"

"Make love?"

Braelin raised a brow, surprised at how intimate it sounded. "Is that what we did?"

Dante thought for a moment, and honestly, he wasn't sure. Don't get him wrong, he slept with his fair share of women and could honestly say what he and Braelin just did felt different than the night of fucking he's grown accustomed to with the previous women he had been with, But at the same time, it felt that it was too soon to call what he and Braelin did "making love." Especially since he knew she had some unresolved feeling for her ex despite the constant declarations to him about wanting to see where they could go.

"I think you and I need to put some clothes on before someone walks in and sees you naked, and I'll have to kill them." he kissed the tip of her nose.

Braelin rolled her eyes and stood up."Right because seeing me naked with a swollen belly is every man's fantasy."

Dante gave her a look, "You're only saying that because you don't see yourself the way I do. I just had you and already want seconds."

Braelin popped her hand on her hip. "Seconds?"

"You're right; Sixths is more like it." He smirked, burying his head in her neck. He loved that she smelled like him.

Braelin kissed him lightly on the lips. "You didn't even take any pictures."

"You underestimate me, baby. I managed to get twenty shots before getting in between those sweet thighs of yours."

Braelin laughed. "Ok, this is not a story I'm going to tell the kids once they're old enough to see the pictures themselves."

Dante snorted, shaking his head. "Sex? Check. Photoshoot? Check. How about dinner at any restaurant of your choosing?"

"Didn't we do this backward?"

Dante shrugged. "We can still have sex afterward."

Braelin lightly shoved him. "Ass."

Roman looked over his shoulder at the hand that was placed there.

"Don't be too disappointed. It's only your wife."

Roman sighed, "Do you want to keep doing this? I asked you to meet me here so we could talk, not argue."

Janelle nodded, "I'm here, and like I said, despite your infidelity twice. I'm still willing to work out our marriage."

Roman remained quiet after hearing that.

Janelle wasn't sure what she was doing. She's never been the type of woman to be ok with her man fucking around on her, and she still wasn't. But like she said before. She and Roman had too much history, and they've been through way too much to throw it all away. "I'm not trying to make this difficult. I want everything to go back to the way things used to be."

"I need to do something I should've done a long time ago and be honest with you. Do I still love you? Yes. Do I love still love, Braelin? Yes, and honestly, even after all these years, I still haven't stopped. What happened between Braelin and I shouldn't have happened, but I don't regret it. But what I do regret is how this is all affecting you, and that's why I think we should get a divorce."

Janelle smiled sadly. "I keep telling myself I owe myself more than what I'm giving right now. I'm trying to hold onto something so good and beautiful at one point because despite where we are now, our love was something to fight for, and I thought you felt the same."

Roman nodded, "I do. I did, and that's my point. I need to figure things out, and it's not fair to you or anyone else if I stay in a marriage that I swore before God that I would be in forever. When in reality, I have never done right by you."

"But You think you're doing right by Braelin? You're not. The three of us have been in this entanglement since college. But like fools, we all participate in it because, for whatever reason, we convinced ourselves that you were the right man for us."

Roman snorted, "You never wanted to work on our marriage. You didn't want me to go back to Braelin."

Janelle shrugged. "Despite what I feel about her and the situation. Neither one of us deserves to be led on by you."

"That's not what I'm doing."

"No, you're playing the field. Rounding the bases to see which girl you want to play with for a little while, but then you'll get bored, and then, of course, history will repeat itself."

Roman chuckled darkly. "Yea, and that never stopped you from spreading your legs for me every chance you got either."

Janelle slapped Roman hard across the face. "I was stupid to think you were worth my effort, let alone the time I've wasted on making this work. I wanted to keep you because I love you, but despite that, I realize I'm not in love with you. I know that now because no woman who could truly love themselves would be willing to be a second choice for a son of a bitch like you."

Roman pointed at his wife. "That's what I always liked about you, Janelle. You never hold back, and I appreciate that, so let me return the favor." He stood up, towering over her wrapping a strand of hair around his finger. "Even though we had our good times. You were never her. You will never be her."

Janelle snorted, removing his hand from her hair. "Right now, you'll never be Dante. You remember him. Braelin's boyfriend. You know the same boyfriend she fucked in the middle of her maternity shoot."

Roman's large hands flexed, and his eye twitched.

"Of course, you didn't know that, so let me shed a little light on the subject. According to my good friend, who happens to be the assistant to the makeup artists who did Braelins makeup. Those two were too busy fucking each other's brains out to notice that the building wasn't empty. But I can't blame her. Dante is fine as—"

Hearing enough, Roman walked off, leaving Janelle alone.

Janelle smiled. She would gladly give Roman his divorce; although she did love him, she no longer wanted his cheating ass. She can admit that to herself, but she will be damn if she allowed Roman to get his happy ending after all the pain he caused her. It was one thing to cheat once but twice and then got the woman he cheated with pregnant. He can get the fuck out of here with that.

But was Roman alone in this? No, of course not. It takes two to create a child, and in Janelle's mind, Braelin was guilty as sin and should also pay for her part in this betrayal. But she wasn't going to play the role of the wicked ex-wife. She was going to show Roman that he can't snap his fingers and get everything he wants. So her plan was simple. Give Braelin the happy ending she always wanted, and naturally, it wasn't going to be with Roman.

Roman ignored questioning stares as he walked past them. He immediately dialed Braelin, "Answer the phone, damn it."

"Hey, Rome, you ok?" Naomi asked, immediately noticing the tension in his frame. "Is Braelin ok?"

Roman glared at her while hanging up the phone. "Where's your cousin?"

Naomi raised a brow at his tone, "Probably busy since she didn't answer your call, and with the way your attitude is right now, I'm glad she didn't."

Roman snorted, "Right, because I'm the big bad wolf."

"More like an indecisive fuck boy with good intentions. You don't want to hurt Brae, but somehow you always do. You two are friends who settled on co-parenting, but somehow that's not enough for you. You need to control every aspect of her life because you want to be her life."

"That's unfair and not true. I want what's best for her, even if it's not me. You know that."

"I know that you want to believe that, but your actions speak louder than those pretty little words. You have gone above and beyond to insert yourself into things that don't concern you. You two are not together anymore. Move on."

Roman knew Naomi was right, and despite his actions, he wanted Braelin to be happy, and with Dante, she was delighted. But he couldn't help but covet what he knew was his "Let me ask you something. If you and Jimmy broke up and after everything you two have been through together, would you accept him being happy with someone else? You would find it easy to sit back and watch someone else take your spot. Just like that."

Naomi shook her head. "You know Janelle is actually in this predicament, and I bet to you she seems like a real bitch for being hurt that you want to start over with the mother of your children. But the truth of the matter is you two are the real villains of the story, not her."

"At Least you're honest."

Naomi closed her eyes before turning around to see her cousin standing there. "I didn't mean to--"

"Yes, you did, and you're right. I know I can't take back what I did, and for that, I'm sorry because our actions caused someone else to get hurt in the process, not once but twice. I fucked a married man and got pregnant with his children. It was low down, and as a woman, it was disrespectful as hell. I'm the bad guy, not her."

Janelle clapped her hands, seemingly having heard the entire exchange. "That's the first step to redemption. Accountability, but it doesn't absolve you for what you did."

"It doesn't, and I can't say sorry enough to you, and I know that you can't forgive me--"

"It's not that I can't. I won't forgive you, Braelin. That's the difference. You willingly opened your legs for a married man not once but twice, and because of this affair, you got pregnant knowing I was having issues."

Roman opened his mouth to interject, but Braelin held up her hand, stopping him from commenting any further. She didn't need to be protected from this, especially since she knew she was the one in the wrong.

Braelin bit down on her bottom lip. "I didn't know." she defended. "I found out what was happening with you after I found I was pregnant. That's why I didn't want to say anything because it would be another slap to the face, and I couldn't hurt you like that."

"It's too late, Braelin," Janelle yelled. "I'm hurt either way, and the worse thing about this whole thing is that I'm not even surprised Roman cheated with you because this was always our favorite dance. The three of us. But, what I was surprised about was how weak-minded you still are when it comes to him." Janelle pointed to Roman. "And at first, we could blame it on how young and stupid we were, but the truth is only one of us is still stupid," she said before walking off, leaving Naomi, Roman, and Braelin alone.

"I didn't know you were— that she was." Naomi didn't know what to say to her cousin. She didn't attend for her talk with Roman to end with her cousin being dragged in front of what she can now see as the entire fucking locker room. At some point during the argument, they must've gotten the attention of some of the other superstars, "Maybe we should go somewhere else."

Braelin was numb. She came to Roman to ask what the emergency was since he had called her and texted her ten times. The only reason she didn't answer the phone was that she was already in the building. "No, I'm fine. I just wanted to let you know that I did a maternity photoshoot today.' Braelin looked around the arena of people who still occupied the room.

Roman tensed. "Really, and you didn't think I would like to attend?"

Braelin furrowed her brows at the question. "What are you—" her phone rang. "Hey, baby," she said, looking over at Roman and Naomi before excusing herself.

Naomi ran a hand through her hair. "I never attended for anyone to find out like this. I pushed too far and—"

Roman didn't like that their business was now on full blast, but he could admit it was nice to be open and honest with everything, and it made what he had to do next that much easier. Janelle wasn't the bad guy, but she wasn't the victim Naomi was trying to paint her out to be. He knew she had some tricks up her sleeve, and he'd be damn if he allowed her to interfere with him and his family "Yea, maybe a little. But Janelle is up to something."

"Janelle is not my concern, and considering all the shit you already have to deal with, she shouldn't be yours either."

Roman snorted, "It's hard to tell whose side you're on these days."

"I'm on the side I've always been on, and that's Braelin."

"Oh yeah? It seems like you're more on Janelle's side, and I'm not sure why that is. You and Janelle aren't friends, but from the way you're acting, you two have been friends for years. Braelin is the one that needs you right now. So instead of throwing what we did back in her face every second, maybe you should try to remember she needs you right now." Roman said, walking off. He had a meeting with Paul Heyman. He'll talk to Braelin later.

"I'm glad everything went alright with Tata. Send him my love, ok."

"I will. We're still on for tonight?"

Braelin grinned. "Of course. I should be done here before 9. They don't have much for me so that it might be sooner, and then I'm all yours."

Dante liked the way that sounded but deep down inside; he could never get himself to believe it. "You promise?"

Braelin heard the double meaning behind his question, and now more than ever, she wanted to make that promise to him, "I promise, I'm all yours. I'll see you tonight, baby."

Naomi peaked her head into the room once she heard her cousin end her phone call. "I want to apologize to you."

Braelin stuffed her phone in her pocket. "For what? None of this is your fault."

"It's not, but I don't want you to feel like I'm not on your side. Because I am. I've just been on edge since after Jimmy's surgery."

Braelin sighed, "I know that you've been through a lot lately, and of course, I know you're on my side, Nao. But it just feels like you're punishing me sometimes."

Naomi grabbed Braelin's hand. "I'm not punishing you. Yes, I'm-- I'm upset that this happened. Honestly, I knew what kind of hold you and Roman had on each other. I wish that I intervened before things could get more complicated for you."

Naomi loved Roman like a brother, but after Roman broke things off with Braelin to give his relationship with Janelle another chance, she witnessed Braelin's heartbreak live and in color. If it weren't for Jimmy talking her down, she probably would've killed Roman for what he did to her cousin.

"I don't need--"

"You almost stopped wrestling after you lost him, remember that?" Naomi whispered heatedly.

"I remember, Naomi. It wasn't my finest moments, and I sure as hell don't want to relive them. It hurt. It still does. It's why I'm scared as hell to give my heart to Dante out of fear that he's going to do the same thing Roman did to me."

"Then you need to be honest with him. You're making promises to him that are going to be impossible to keep because you can't stay away from your ex, and now that you're pregnant with his children, it's going to be even harder to keep that much-needed distance."

Braelin whipped the loan to tear that rolled down her cheek. "How did I manage to fuck things up this badly? I didn't want to hurt anyone, but I ended up hurting everyone."

Naomi laughed. "It's your talent, I guess."

Braelin pinched Naomi. "Bitch."

"Just think about what I said, ok."

Braelin nodded. She suddenly wanting to see Dante now more than ever.

Paul Heyman stood at the end of the table, eyeing both Roman and Vince McMahon. "I think this partnership could be beneficial to everyone."

Roman nodded. "A heel turn is unexpected, and it could be what I need to make things more interesting."

Paul grinned, "I agree, so what do you say? Do we have a deal?" He said, extending his hand.

Roman eyed the hand in front of him for a while before shaking it. "We have a deal, and since Jimmy's injured. I want Jey along for the ride."

Vince looked almost skeptical by the idea, but he trusted Paul and Roman to take this new storyline to new heights. "Fine, I'll leave you to it."

"So, here's what I think we should do--"

"We need to involve Braelin somehow," Roman said, interrupting Paul.

Paul blinked. "What?"

"You heard me. Since we're introducing this new heel turn and turning it into a family affair, I think it's only fair to involve not only Jey but Brae."

Paul Heyman had no issue involving more of the company's top talent but last heard, Braelin was close to retiring. "Umm, sure. But I thought she was retiring. "

Roman took a sip of his water. "She was, but now she has a reason not to."

Paul looked confused. "Explain."

"It's simple. She can't wrestle while pregnant, and since she's carrying my children, it'll add more layers to the story while giving her a reason to stick around."

Paul wouldn't call himself a manipulative man in the slightest. He was a smart businessman that knew how to make any situation work in his favor in the name of good content. However, that didn't mean he was against it, or he didn't know it when he saw it and if you asked Paul what Roman Reigns was doing was a manipulation at his finest. But whatever worked, and if Roman wanted Braelin a part of the story, then that is what's going to happen. "Whatever the tribal chief wants. The tribal chief gets."

Roman smirked, "That's what I like to hear."

AN: I know it’s been a while but I wanted to start the new year off right. Thanks to everyone who still reads and comments on this story on both here and wattpad. Stay safe and happy reading!

taglist:  @queenofthearchitect @calicina @never-sawft-princess @5dsinyourdirection @fancybarbii @aria725  @lustyromantic   @kai1996en @angelbaby908 

[handonhaven]

I wasn't planning on talking about this, but ever since the trailer and the summery of episode 1 came out certain people have gone into overdrive. Pretty much all the same stuff they always say. "Hope should just dump Landon, he doesn't deserve her love and devotion" 😑😑😑 and "They made Hopes whole story just be about a boy. Why does Landon/Handon get so much screen time over all the other characters?" Etc etc.

Okay look Landon is the only one who's actaully earned Hopes love and devotion. Everyone else just acts as if they're entitled to it. With how they always treat her(very unpopular opinion I know but it's true).

Hopes story has never been all about Landon. It's always been about saving everyone else, doing what's best for everyone. Even if it means sacrificing herself and what she wants/what makes her happy. Season 3 was the first season she actively put herself and what she wants first(and even then she still was doing what was best for everyone else at times). And a part of that just so happens to be Landon because she loves him and he's the one who makes her the most happy. And in 3x05 when Hope was in the therapy box was a whole give a way. That she's just tried and done always putting herself last and sacrificing what she loves(ie Landon and what else she just doesn't want to sacrifice anymore) just to save everyone else. And I honestly don't blame her for some of the things she did in s3, not excusing what she did not at all. But at the same time I don't blame her.

Now what I'm about to say might upset some people but there's two reason why Landon/Handon gets so much screen time is bc 1. Landon is a lead and at the very core of legacies is Handons story, so of course they'll be getting more screen time. And I think 3x16 was trying to drive that home of a lot of people. As well as about a 100 other that have been shown/said throughout the show.

2. The other reason why other characters don't get much screen time or even a storyline is bc more often than not is bc the writers/showrunners just don't really care all that much for those characters. One example of that is Rafael. And as much as I love his character, you can just tell the feeling wasn't the same for them. Bc he was gone for must of s2 and when he was around they made him be all about his feelings for Hope. Same thing goes for the twins. You can just tell that they didn't really want to have them in the show in first place(even Juile herself said she didn't want the twins. But things change I guess). Because they've haven't been doing anything with their characters, they've done more with Cleo's character than they have with the twins. I think the most I've seen them do with the twins was the whole dark Josie storyline. The rest of the time their storylines have been about love interests. I'm not sure if I forgot any of their other storylines bc once s3 hit I just kind of stopped paying attention to their storylines(not bc I don't like their characters but bc their stories just kind of just keep going around in circles and I really don't want to watch the same thing over and over again). And idk if in season 4 they're going to start giving the twins and other characters more screen time/ more storylines but I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't.

Wow sorry that got long haha. But any thoughts on this?

It’s just the same old thing with the antis, can they really not think of anything else to say? But yeah, everything you said. What is it Landon has to do to earn Hope’s love and devotion? You’re so right, he treats Hope far better than any of the other characters do, unpopular opinion or not, that’s the truth. He’s not done anything that’s made him undeserving of her love. And for them to even say that after he went his whole life without being loved is horrible. And I’m so tired of them saying Hope’s storyline revolves around a boy (especially when all most of them want is for her storyline to revolve around Josie), because exactly! They must not be paying attention to the show if they don’t see that Hope’s storyline has always been about her being the hero and saving everyone. Which is why them saying that Landon is all Hope cares about and all she thinks about contradicts her actions throughout the show when she has continuously been there for everyone. And yep, to the point where she has sacrificed her own happiness with Landon for the sake of everyone else. And yes, I loved Hope’s development in s3 because she was finally putting herself and her happiness first. And that didn’t mean that she no longer cared about her friends because, like you said, she was still trying to be there for them and do what was best for them too. And exactly, Landon is the one who makes Hope happy, and I felt so bad for her in the therapy box in 3x05. That really did say it all, you could definitely tell that she’s so tired and just wants to be happy for once. And same with in 3x10, when she said “we can never just be happy,” it never seems to end for her. And I don’t blame her for what she did in s3 either. And you’ve also gotta consider that everyone had pushed her into a position where she was most desperate and left with no other options. Plus she also didn’t even think Lizzie or Josie would be in danger in 3x08, and she believed they could make it until the dark magic started to infect them and then she apologized. But what she did still ultimately ended up saving Landon from the prison world, otherwise they may never have found another way if they hadn’t created a rift.

And very true about screen time for Handon. People still refuse to believe that Landon is the male lead despite Aria’s name appearing right after Danielle’s in the credits and Julie literally saying that they casted Aria to be the leading man of Legacies when he auditioned for TO. Both Hope and Landon are the leads of the show, and yep, their story is the main story, so obviously it’s gonna get more focus. And yes, that’s been made clear throughout the show.

It does seem like the writers don’t care as much about the other characters. And I love Raf too, don’t get me started on the way they treated him. And it’s so weird because it seemed like they had bigger plans for him at the beginning. It took them a while to find Peyton, if I remember right. And I thought he and Landon were gonna be the brothers of the show, it seemed like they were setting up a love triangle of sorts with them and Hope (not that I wanted that), but then, like you said, he was hardly in s2. It’s like they scrapped any plans they had for him and didn’t know what to do with him after s1, even though there was so much potential.

And yeah, same with the twins. But idk if Julie said she didn’t want the twins on the show? I just thought having them on the show, at least as mains, wasn’t always part of the plan. They had always talked about a “Hope spinoff,” no mention of the twins. Julie had said Hope and the twins wouldn’t be friends because of the age gap. And from 5x12 of TO, I’d guess they hadn’t planned on them being mains for Legacies at that point either, otherwise they wouldn’t have made the age gap so obvious. And they had no interactions between Hope and the twins either, yet they made sure to establish a relationship between Hope and Landon in that episode. So I do feel like Handon was always part of the plan and they most likely decided to have the twins be main characters later on. And that really does show because they don’t seem to know what to do with them anymore either. True, they definitely did more with Cleo last season than the twins, and I do feel like the dark Josie storyline was the last real storyline they had. And I agree, their storylines now mostly have to do with love interests, and they do feel repetitive or just like they’re not going anywhere. And people will complain about Handon being repetitive, but look at what they do with the other characters, it’s far worse. Despite there being some repetition with Handon, like with them being separated and being put through horrible things all the time, there’s still development and progression. But with the rest of the characters, I feel like there’s hardly any progression at all. I feel like they’ve even gone backwards with some of the characters as well, especially last season. I actually thought the writing for the twins, and all the characters, was pretty good in s1. I liked all the characters and was interested in their storylines, but now, especially after s3, I’m just not interested anymore. S3 really changed my mind about some of the characters tbh, mostly because of the way they treated Landon and Hope. So idk if they’re gonna give the other characters more screen time or better storylines in s4 either. But honestly, because some of the characters have kinda been ruined for me, I’m not even sure if I’d care much if they did give them more of a storyline. I’m really just watching for Hope and Landon at this point, ngl. But hopefully, for everyone else’s sake, they can do more for the other characters next season that other fans will enjoy.

[r3b3lgrrrrrrrl]

A LunaTic and her Gunn (Part 89Xs1) "Dangerous But Sweet"

@lovemythsworld

@creatureofthen1ght-v3

@crystalbaby12

Don can't find any of them anywhere for Check Out. No one is answering their doors or phones. Not even the responsible ones, like Ashleigh, Bullet or Benny.

Annoyed, he heads to Colson and Luna's suite. He HATES dealing with them, ever since they first met. Especially her.

The door is slightly ajar, concerning Don for a moment. Entering the room cautiously, he finds The Ten of Them sleeping on the floor. Curled up and splayed all over each other like little kids on the mattresses.

Rolling his eyes, he mutters "Fucking idiots." Before speaking loudly. "What the HELL is this shit? You better put these fucking beds back. I'm not explaining your fucking slumber party when the hotel charges the lable for damages."

The rude tone and words coming out of his mouth stirs them. Groggy, with monkeys beating drums inside their heads, they all wish he would just GOOO AWAAY.

Luna opens her eyes. Giving him a death stare.

"Will you EVER be cool, Don?" She asks him with a sigh.

"Will you ever NOT be a fucking bitch?" He fires back at her.

"YEOO." The bass in Colson's voice vibrates Luna's body as his head flies up from behind her. "Watch your FUCKING mouth, Motherfucker when talking to my girl." His tone is fierce in defense of Luna. "Matter of fact, get the FUCK out before you make me get the FUCK up." He warns before laying back into their warmth.

"Bye, Don." Luna states in a monotone voice.

"I don't know how either of you have a fucking career." He spits out.

The Ten of Them are irritable from their Trip last night. With NONE of them liking this DickHead at the moment. Brains still linked, his comment hits them all.

"BYE DON!!" The Ten shout in unison, none moving.

"Indigent Fucks." Is thrown over his shoulder as he storms out, slamming the door behind him.

Getting comfortable again, those that awoke go back to sleep. Fuck Don.

--------------------------------------------------

Colson is performing tonight at MidLand. Finally up and dressed, they're all there. Moving slowly, but they're there. Even before 2P at that. Hanging out back. Burning as they recount the night before. No one skates. They sit, stand or lean. The struggle is REAL.

Luna's starving. She needs cheeseburgers, pineapples and coffee in her life.

"Hook it up?" She asks The Boys.

Offering to Take Care of Them All to their Oh My God, Yes Please's.

Dressed simply in dark shades, her Yankees hat, ripped jeans and a black crop top, Luna pulls off Colson's jean jacket. She was cold earlier but is starting to warm up in the sun.

Slipping in between Colson's legs, she wraps her arms around his shoulders. They lean cheek to cheek for a minute. Breathing each other in. Last night being so intense, they can still feel the raw emotions.

"I'll be back. Text me what you guys want from McDonald's. Love you." She kisses his cheek lightly.

"Love you.... Don't forget we gotta pick Emma and Case up at 430P..." He reminds her to her nod of agreement.

Grabbing Sam and Ashleigh, they take a walk. Burning and sipping on water along the way.

-------------------------------------------------

The Boys take The Girls being gone as an opportunity to run a light rehearsal. Focusing on practicing the Sublime song Colson wants to cover tonight.

-------------------------------------------------

Luna's a bitch. Luna's a bitch who doesn't like to be ogled. Luna is a bitch who can't STAND creeps. Luna's an even BIGGER bitch when she's recovering from a drug binge and CATCHES someone acting creepy.

And thaaats's exactly what leads to what happens in the grocery store.

In the produce section, Luna's wandering around with Ashleigh looking for fresh cut pineapples. Sam's towards her left, in a cross aisle on her phone facing the wall.

Rounding the corner into another aisle, Sam now comes directly into Luna's eyesight. So is a man moving around weirdly in the same aisle as Luna and Ashleigh. He's facing towards Sam. Watching him as her and Ashleigh begin to walk passed, something makes Luna look down.

This pig, is standing in the aisle, behind his cart. He has his hand down his pants and is jerking off to an unknowing Sam.

It feels like slow motion as Luna sees what he's doing, life hitting fast forward once she fully realizes it.

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!" Luna screams.

Grabbing the back of the cart and shoving it into the man with all her might. Knocking him down backwards on to the ground, she then moves the cart. Stomping his hand in place on his dick with her right foot.

"What the fuck, Loons!?!" Sam comes rushing over.

"Bro. You see this shit." Luna points to his hand trapped in his pants. "He was fucking jerking off to YOU. RIGHT FUCKING HERE."

Sam's reaction is the EXACT same as Luna's. Word. For. Word.

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!!"

She screams also. Bringing her knee up high, Sam starts to stomp down on the dude.

"You like jerking off to girls who don't know it? You fucking freak!" She continues to shout.

Luna joins in. Ashleigh standing back like the night in Chicago. Watching Sam and Luna stomp and kick the fuck out of A Jack Off Johnny of Kansas City.

"Let's see how much you like yanking it in the grocery store after that, Motherfucker." Sam spits on him before they leave him bloody and whimpering on the ground.

The two employees watching don't bother to aid the man or stop The Girls. His actions being unacceptable, they decide to leave him there.

Walking towards the door, Luna spies the fresh fruit she wants. Making their purchase, they leave the grocery store and head to McDonald's.

"Was he really whacken' off to her?" Ashleigh asks in uncomfortable disbelief.

"Yeah, dude." Luna says, disgusted.

She hates the world on a regular day. Today it's extra.

"I seen his fucking hand stuck down his pants, Ash." Sam says with a shudder.

"Why are men so gross..." Ashleigh complains.

Her low serotonin makes her sensitive to sadness. While Luna and Sam are both prone to anger and violence.

"Because there ain't enough women who ain't afraid to beat the fuck out of them when they act gross." Sam states angrily.

She's not wrong. 

"How do you guys know how to do that?" Ashleigh asks quietly.

"What?" Luna cocks her head towards her.

"Not be afraid of men and beat them up the way you do? I would never know how to do that." She says honestly.

"It's a NY thing." Luna blows her off.

Looking at Sam. Some words shouldn't be said. Just as some reasons never need to be relived.

------------------------------------------------- 

Sitting on the back loading dock of the venue, The Ten of Them are reunited eating their fast food and fresh fruit. Having so many bags of burgers, fries, nuggets and pineapples. Ten different sodas and iced coffees, The Girls had to snag a shopping cart to get it all back in one piece.

The Ten of Them are all still pretty miserable. Luna offering up a Xanax to whomever needs. That would be 8 out of 10.

Sitting next to Colson as she munches on a double cheeseburger, Luna's legs are swinging wildly. She loves beef and cheese. Almost as much as she loves Colson.

"Is that blood on your shoe?" Colson asks her, confused and slightly concerned.

"Damn it. That Motherfucker." Luna growls as she lifts her leg to see the tiny splatters.

"WHAT Motherfucker?" Colson now demands.

His possessiveness amuses to Luna. Sucking her teeth and preparing for his reaction, Luna tells the Tale of A Jack Off Johnny of Kansas City.

"Why the fuck didn't you call me?" He insists once she's finished.

"Imagine that...." She says dryly.

Putting her pinky and thumb to her ear, like a phone. She bobbles her head and wiggles her straightened shoulders. Voice and body mimicking a 1950s housewife.

"Hiii Honey, would you mind coming down to the local grocer. I've got a sexual predator trapped here under my foot but still need you to come defend my honor for me. Please?"

She changes her tone as she shoots him a Look with a "Yeah. No."

"I fucking hate when she acts like this... Like she's fucking invincible... She better never...." He doesn't even want to finish the thought. Knowing that his brain is mush and his girlfriend is a psychotic bitch with no fear.

"You're fucking insane." Is all he says, shaking his head as he bites into his burger.

"And you're beautiful and I love you." Luna tells him, nipping any argument in the bud.

Once they've finished eating, Luna and Sam borrow Baze, their instruments and stage to rehearse. Luna doesn't have a name for the Ellen song, she just keeps calling it, IT.

--------------------------------------------------

Watching Luna from SideStage, Colson's phone rings. It's a number he doesn't know.

"Hello?" He answers.

"Hi. Colson? It's Francis, Luna's friend. We met at your house in LA for her Tea Party..." Frannie introduces herself.

"Oh! Hey! Yeah, what's up?" He asks, moving away from the stage.

"I hope you don't mind but I got your number off Sam to that maybe we could touch base about Luna's birthday?" Frannie asks, striking fear into Colson's heart.

"Oh FUCK... I forgot her birthdays coming up." He knows her birthday, he just sometimes doesn't know the actual date of the day he's living in. Many occasions sneak up on him. Ashleigh usually catching them first. Plus, his brain is more wonked out than usual.

"Uhhh... Yeah... What were you thinking?" He opens his apps to check the day of the week it falls on.

"Well, Paris and I always throw her a party out here... Or we used too. We didn't the last two years... So we wanna do that.... Is there a date? Because we were thinking the 19th, not knowing what you guys have planned with this and the wedding and all...." Frannie trails off.

"Fuuuuckkk... The wedding. We don't even know when we're doing that...." Frannie hitting Colson with layers of reality he can't deal with.

"Uhmmm... Shit man. We're on tour right now and haven't really talked about any dates or even her birthday. Fuck, I feel like an Asshole." Colson winces when he instinctively rubs the back of his head, forgetting his new ink.

"Okayyyy... How about we throw her the party on the 19th. You have my number now... If you think of anything just hit me up. Sound good?" She asks.

"Yeah. Thank you. I'm sorry I'm such an Asshole with all of this.... I've never had a serious girlfriend like this before...." He says sheepishly.

"Soooo... You think you should just jump right to wife in three months?" Frannie's trying not to sound sarcastic but she can't help it.

"YEAH. I do. And so does Luna, since she did say Yes." Colson begins to feel slightly defensive.

"I'm sorry." Frannie backs down. "Luna and I are really old friends and I just think it's quick. When do you guys get back to LA? We'll hang out. Before the party." She suggests an olive branch.

"Yeah, deff. And me too. We're done at the end up this month. Call Luna and set something up and I'll keep us and whoever free on the 19th." Colson agrees with an irritated sigh.

"You have people?" She asks.

"Yeah, is that a problem." He doesn't like having to deal with Luna's friend right now.

"No... Not at all. I just need a head count for the space size." She replies to his Oh.

Asking him to text her a list, he agrees. Apologizing again for being rude before they get off the phone. It's false. Not caring who's daughter she is, Colson decides he doesn't like Frances.

---------------------------------------------------

"If they don't have a date... Maybe it just won't happen." Frannie thinks after she hangs up. It's not that she doesn't like Colson, she doesn't know him. Just like she didn't know the guy she married six months after meeting him. Now she can't get her dad's guitar back or rid of him.

-------------------------------------------------

Once off the phone Colson immediately calls Ashley.

"Yellow!!!" She answers, cheerfully like her words.

"Hey Ash..." Colson sighs, relieved to hear a friendly voice.

"Sup Kells?" She asks, concerned.

"Francis just called me about Luna's birthday party?" He tells her in a confused tone.

"Her and P are doing that this year? Oooh!! That's gonna be so fun!! We haven't done it for the last couple... I wonder why she hasn't called me yet..." Ashley babbles as Colson listens emotionlessly. "What day is it? Kells! What day is it on?" Ashley snaps him back.

"Uhh... Friday the 19th....?" He answers, still lost in his conversation with Francis

"Ewww... I'm pretty sure I'm already.."

"ASH!" Colson cuts her off. "I'm freakin' out Dawg. I don't think Francis likes me. I know I don't like her. Luna's birthday is in less then a month. I have nothing planned. We're supposed to get married next month and we don't even have a date. FUCK, I don't even think Luna has one dress, let alone two!!" He spouts off.

"Whoa man, chillax.... It's gonna be alright." Ashley laughs at him. "First. Fran'll be fine, she's projecting her own shit right now. Second. Have you talked to Loons about any of this or are you just freaking out because of Frannie?" Ashley digs for the root.

"I'm just kinda freakin' out." He admits.

"Talk to Loons, Kells. She may already have something in mind. You don't know. Just make sure you keep the 19th open if you really don't wanna get on Frannie's bad side." Ashley teases him.

Colson sighs and thanks her. Really glad to have her as a friend.

--------------------------------------------------

"DAADDDYYY!!!!" Casie comes running up to Colson.

Emma trailing behind her, the two women greet each other warmly. Hugs and How Are Yous before Casie squeezes Luna's guts out.

"I can't breath, Dilla!!" Luna pretends like she's choking to Casie's laughter.

Colson giving her a piggyback ride out of the airport. Luna helping Emma with Casie's luggage as they chat with each other.

--------------------------------------------------

Sat together for a late lunch at Border's Cafe, Casie colors as the adults order food and drinks.

"How's the wedding planning going?" Is the first thing Emma asks Luna and Colson.

"What the fuuuuuuckkkk...." His brain groans.

"Ahhh... You might be able to help if you wouldn't mind. I need a planner for Cleveland. Nothing big. Just a little get together at the house after." Luna says to Emma.

"Yeah, I have a friend who owns a catering business." She suggests.

"That'd be perfect." Luna says graciously.

"When are you guys gonna do it?" Is the dreaded question.

"Monday, the 29th." Luna says nonchalantly.

Colson whips his head over to look at Luna.

"We have a date?" He asks with a mixture of shock, relief and a little bit of jealousy.

Luna's face lights up with excitement. Grinning, she leans over to kiss his cheek. "We doooo!!! And it's really freaking awesome!" She shines as she pulls out her phone. "Look... TownHall only marries on Mondays and Fridays. So.... Ash cleared your schedule from the 29th till here." Luna points to the Sunday of EstFest. Looking up into Colson's oceanic eyes, she gives him THAT One Look that made him fall so deeply in love with her. "Meaning.... We are having a seven day wedding celebration with the possibility of two of them being somewhere...." Lost in her enthusiasm, Luna suddenly remembers where they are. Changing her last word. "Awwwwwesome...." Followed by another Look.

"SEVEN DAYS?!" He exclaims. Looking at her like she just cured cancer. Forgetting the jealousy of not being included in picking the date. "Seriously?? Seven days? That's fucking SICK, Kitten. Where you wanna go?" He asks, pulling her in for a kiss on the cheek.

"We'll figure that out later..." She shrugs.

The server coming to set their food down. Refilling their drinks.

"Do you have a dress?" Emma asks.

She likes to watch the interaction between Colson and Luna. It gives her some insight to what kind of environment her daughter is exposed to when with them.

"I do..." Luna begins to speak.

Colson cuts her off.

"Yo. I legit was just freaking out on the phone with Ash over all of this. The date, your dresses, your birthday...." Colson rambles on in relief.

"My Ash...? About my birthday?" Luna questions him as they eat.

"Yeah... We haven't talked about that one either. Got any secret plans there too?" Colson has a little sass to his tone, last night still lingering.

"I haven't really thought about it... Come on, C... This month has been insane. I only figured out the dates with Ash yesterday when we were getting The Bus cleaned. I'm gotta head out Monday night for NY. I need to rehearse with this new bassist before Ellen. Which ironically worked out because, I can stop at a friend of mine's so she can fit me. I also gotta look at a brownstone in Brooklyn Heights while I'm there too. I tried to work our schedules together because I wanted you to check it out with me but you'll be in Idaho. So, I'm gonna meet back up with you in Anaheim probably. Shit is non-stop. You know this, Sugar." Luna explaining one day of her life next week. Emma tired just thinking about it.

"You need to see the Dr too." He reminds her.

"Motherfucker!!" Luna's mind bursts just as Emma opens her mouth.

"You okay, Luna? You sick?" She asks.

Casie's head pops up. Proving kids are always listening.

"Did the blueberries get you!??" She asks with wide eyes.

Luna can't help but laugh with Colson at Casie. Explaining to Emma her allergy and side stepping her with the explanation of an Annual Exam for work. It's not a full lie.

They enjoy the rest of their lunch. Emma choosing to catch a flight right black to Clevland. With hugs and kisses, she promises she'll see Casie in a week. Pecking Colson and Luna GoodBye with tight hugs. Reminding Luna that she'll send her the contact information for her friend as she gets into her uber.

--------------------------------------------------

"Wait!! Look what I got!!" Casie pulls off her school bag with excitement.

They're still standing on the sidewalk outside of Border's. Waiting for their own uber as Casie digs through her bag. Popping up once she's found what she was looking for. Proudly displaying two homemade, beaded bracelets.

"I made these for you. They're Love Bracelets. Because you're in loooove and I love YOU." She grins as she snakes her head at the two of them.

Casie makes both of their irritated souls lift with happiness. Cold hearts melt with adoration. Slipping hers on, Luna squats down to hug Casie.

"I love it, Dilla. I'll wear it everyday." She promises.

"Me too, Peanut!!" Colson scoops her up, attacking her with kisses.

"Daaaaad!!!! Stooop!!!" She laughs uncontrollably.

"Okay, okay..." He laughs, setting her down. "Here.."

He reaches for Luna's hand. Taking a picture of their gifts. He posts it to his Insta.

"Peanut made us Love Bracelets. My kid is deff the coolest 😭🙏🏽💖 #estfest can't come fast enough. 😈🔐🐈"

---------------------------------------------------

Back at MidLand, everyone's BackStage. Alcohol still flows but they've moved smoking outback. Away from Casie.

Coming down the stairs, Luna catches Casie drumming on the wall. Snagging a quick picture of her favorite little human with her favorite tall human in the background.

"That's gonna be my family..." Luna's eyes well up as she thinks of them lovingly.

"Looney!!!" Casie calls for her once she sees her. "I'm goin on stage with Dad tonight!" She grins excitedly.

"Yeah?" Luna beams at her. "What are you gonna play?"

"What I Got." Casie responds proudly.

"THE GOODNIGHT SONG!!" Luna shakes a giggling Casie. "Make sure you don't fall asleep on stage!!" She teases the little girl.

"Looney... It's too loud to fall asleep on stage." She states as a matter of fact.

"You're right, Dilla. Silly me." Luna laughs as she shakes her head at herself.

-------------------------------------------------

The show is wild as always. The Boys making about a 90% recovery by time they hit the stage. Running through the same setlist as most of this leg of the tour. Casie sings all of her dad's songs SideStage with Luna, Ashleigh and Sam. The Girls still passing a bottle but skipping the joints.

Luna dips off to change before heading OnStage. Dressing in black leather pants and a sheer open back black long sleeved top. Her ass looks phenomenal. Colson can't keep his hands off her while they're OnStage together.

Holding her from behind by the waist as he sings the last line with her, he nuzzles into her neck. Sending electricity through her body as she brings her hand down his face delicately.

"Y'all know we're getten' married, right?" He grins at the crowd's explosion. "We're doin' it at EstFest... Three day fucking RAGER!!" He shouts to the room's wild screams.

"That's right..." Luna chimes in. "This year we're extending it until Sunday with two special surprise performances for you guys. It's gonna be FUCKING WILD!!!" Luna laughs.

"WHO'S COMEN' TO CELEBRATE WITH US!??" He shouts as his fans roar.

He turns to Luna. "You think they'll come?" He asks

"I think they'll come." She answers him before turning back to the audience. "You gonna miss a helluva party if you don't...." She teases before kissing Colson.

"See ya there!!" Luna shouts as she glides OffStage. Right into a tiny Casie.

"Looney, I'm hungry." She pouts.

"We better fix that before you have to perform, hunh? I think we've got Pizza Bites on The Bus, wanna check it out with me?" Luna asks to Casie's nod.

Checking their time with Ashleigh, they have 45mins. Luna takes the little girl's hand in hers as they head off on their mission.

--------------------------------------------------

"You're the best, Looney." Casie states as she munches on pizza rolls.

"Thanks Dill. You're pretty rad yourself, kiddo." Luna smiles at her.

"So, you and dad getting married means you'll be my Looney forever?" She asks.

"Yup. Forever and ever." Luna answers as her heart swells.

"I want a sister NOT a brother." Casie stresses her request.

"WHAT?" Luna asks her with a scrunched face.

"When people get married, they have a baby. I want a girl baby." She explains.

Casie is freaking Luna the fuck out. "Where the HELL is Colson when I fucking need him..." She thinks. Not knowing how to answer.

"Well...." Luna sighs. "I'm preeeetty sure you don't get to pick whether it's a boy or girl. And, how about we get married first and have fun with you. Then maybe a baby might come.... But they don't always."

"FUCK... You should've shut up 10secs ago, you fucking idiot." Luna mentally scolds herself.

"Why?" Casie asking the question Luna knew was coming.

Luna has no idea what to fucking say. How do you tell your 10yr old, soon-to-be step daughter, that she's the only kid you like. That idea of birth and pregnancy makes you want to jump off of a bridge.

"Uhhhhmmm...." Luna chooses science. "You know how my body gets mad at me with blueberries?"

Casie nods.

"Sometimes babies are like blueberries and they just don't agree with some people's bodies..." Luna is struggling hard.

"So you'll die?" Casie asks with terror.

"Oh FUCK my life...." Is all Luna can think.

"No... No... Case, no.... It's just, sometimes blueberries aren't for everyone and sometimes babies aren't for everyone too... Does that make sense?" Luna asks her, confusing her own self.

"I guess." Casie pops up.

Dropping her dish in the sink. She washes her hands.

"Ready?" She asks.

"Yes." Luna has never been more ready in her life.

--------------------------------------------------

With the venue dark, Colson's voice quiets the crowd.

"I brought my Queen out here tonight... Now, I'm gonna bring out my Princess. Come on, Case." He calls her out.

He starts on his acoustic.

🎼Early on the morning, Rising to the street,

Light me up that cigarette, As I strap shoes on my feet🎶

Grinning at Casie, nods at her. She comes in with him. Changing certain lyrics.

🎶I got a Dalmatian, I can still get by, I can play the guitar, Like a motherchucken riot🎶

They sing before Colson hits the guitar solo. Having sang this song together all her life, they hit the notes and lyrics flawlessly. Not missing one beat.

🎶Never start no static, I just get it off my chest, Never had to battle With no bulletproof vest, Take a small example, Take a tip from me, Take all of your money, Give it all to charity, Love is what I got, It's within my reach, And the Sublime style's still straight from Long Beach, It all comes back to you, You'll finally get what you deserve, Try and test that you're bound to get served, Love's what I got, Don't start a riot, You'll feel it, When the dance gets hot🎶

Luna goes wild from SideStage. Cheering them on. Colson looking over Casie's head to grin at her. Loving her more each moment that she doesn't drive him crazy.

"THANK YOU KANSAS CITY!!! YOU WERE FUCKING SICK!!!! GOODNIGHT!!! Colson shouts, ending the show.

Holding hands with Casie, he kisses her on the cheek before passing her to Ashleigh. Colson hasn't fucked Luna all day and is dying to climb inside of her.

"We'll be back." He calls over his shoulder as he takes Luna's hand.

--------------------------------------------------

"I'm gonna rip these fucking pants off you." Colson says in frustration with Luna's zipper in between kisses. Out comes the blade again.

"No! I love these pants!!" She stops him, peeling them off herself. "Can you handle the fucking shirt?" She asks turning around for him to unzip it.

Zippers down, they're both naked in less then 30secs. Colson gripping Luna up by the ass and setting her on the edge of a table. He pushes his large dick inside of her warm pussy as she wraps herself around him.

"How come ever time I fuck you it feels like the first time?" He moans out.

"Cuz this pussy was made for you, Lover." Luna purrs into his ear.

Thrusting her hips into him as he bounces her body off his dick. They fuck each fast with a fierce hunger.

"My dirty girl likes it rough, hunh." Colson pants as he pulls Luna's hair back.

Sinking his teeth into her neck, making her buck harder. Clawing his back as she begs Yes Please.

"Mhmm... Take this fucking dick." He demands.

Making her body quiver, Luna losses all control. Gripping him harder, Luna fucks another two orgasms out of herself before Colson drops his load inside of her.

"FUCK." They both breathe out, sweaty and sex stained. Like usual, they hold each other as Colson rests in his favorite place. Both beyond content in each other's arms.

"We gotta get Case..." Luna reminds him.

As they clean up and change, they burn a joint together. Colson jumping on her so fast in the dressing room they didn't even light an After Show Sex Joint.

Just as they're about to walk out, Colson puts his large hand against the door. Stopping her.

"Wait. We get married on Monday and don't have anything to do till EST on Friday?" He asks.

"Yeah..." Luna smiles out the answer.

"You figure out where you wanna go. We gonna have ourselves a proper mini honeymoon, baaaaaby." He says in a weird country accent.

"I fucking love you." Luna cheeses as she reaches up for another kiss. ---------------------------------------------------

Word Limit (1 of 2) To be continued.......

[ionlyspeakinmyheroacademia]

Late Nights and Lavender Tea

series masterlist ☕️ 

Pairing: Izuku Midoriya x Ochako Uraraka

Warnings: Some lauguage, gets a lil steamy at some parts, slow burn, MAJOR SPOILERS

Summary: After a year of friendship, Uraraka realizes that she is totally in love with her best friend, Midoriya Izuku. There's just one slight problem. She's in a happy, committed relationship with Iida Tenya.Or is she? As their relationship progresses, she sees a side of Tenya that scares her- and she wonders if she made the right choice to get with him in the first place. And her resurfacing feelings for Izuku aren't helping her case, not in the slightest.Midoriya Izuku always avoids romantic relationships, but he simply cannot avoid his feelings for Uraraka Ochako. She's taken, but Izuku can't help but hopelessly pine after her. After seemingly the millionth late-night talk over tea, he realizes that he's head over heels in love with her. He's in love with a girl who's off-limits. He can swallow his feelings for her sake, of course.That's okay with Izuku. If she's happy, he's happy for her. It's really okay, honestly.Teenage relationships are hard. That's one thing they've both realized.

Notes: This is my first fic, let me know what you think! (cross posted on ao3)

Chapter 3: Katsu’s a Bitch for the Drama

Ochako watched proudly as her boys received their medals. Tenya had tied for third with Todoroki and Izuku had taken first, just barely beating Bakugou in the finals. Bakugou had been angry, but he seemed to be somewhat calmed down, despite muttering foul words under his breath when he thought no one was listening. 

She had been so worried throughout Bakugou and Izuku’s match. She could see the determination in Izuku’s eyes to win, and he almost didn’t. He had used too much of his flying it seemed, he had sunk down to the ground, and barely landed a powered kick on Bakugou before knocking him back and scooping him up with his black whip and throwing him backward, just barely out of bounds. Kirishima had been extremely frightened, running down to check on his boyfriend. 

Ochako had honestly been surprised Izuku hadn’t held back with Bakugou. She knew he had always had a soft spot for him, and she never thought he’d be so violent. But that was how it went in the Sports Festival, and honestly she was glad it was over. She was so proud of Tenya and Izuku. 

“Congratulations on third Tenya!” she cried, throwing herself towards him and hugging him tightly around the neck. He hugged her back, but not with as much enthusiasm. He seemed angry with her for some reason, and she couldn’t figure out why. 

“Come with me,” he whispered in her ear, and pulled her into the building before she could congratulate Izuku, who was surrounded by their other classmates, minus Bakugou, Kirishima, Sora, and Todoroki. 

“What’s going on Tenya?” she asked, when they were in a closet right inside the building. “Are you alri-” She was cut off by his lips crushing against hers. She kissed him back for a moment, then pushed lightly against his chest. “Hey, hey, whoa what’s going on? Usually you wouldn’t do this unless we were where no one else would see- are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” he huffed. “Am I not allowed to make out with my girlfriend?”

He didn’t let her answer, just pressed his lips against hers again, and put his hand on her back to pull her closer. She squirmed slightly under his strong grip, uncomfortable. She didn’t know if it was the shelf digging into her back, or the fact that Tenya had never been this rough with her, and it was making her nervous. He pulled away, looking to see the shelf in her back, and pulled her closer so that she wasn’t touching it, pressing her against the wall next to it instead. 

“Sorry about that,” he mumbled, and brought his lips back to hers. She was starting to panic slightly, her breath quickening, heart-pounding, and she pushed Tenya back, gasping. 

“I’m sorry Tenya. I don’t know what’s going on, but I don’t feel comfortable making out with you when you’re like this. I think you need to calm down,” she said breathlessly, moving to open the door. He mumbled something incoherent. “What was that?” she questioned, turning to face him again. 

“You know, it wouldn’t kill you to just be with me every once in a while. I was kissing you. I’m your boyfriend Ochako. I’m sure you wouldn’t mind if Midoriya pressed you up against the wall and kissed you like that, would you?” he barked, ignoring the dumbstruck look on her face. “Well? Would you?”

After a moment of shocked silence, Ochako finally regained her voice. “First of all, why are you doing this? We’ve been doing so well. And honestly, I don’t like this side of you. Come find me when you’re done acting like a child,” she retorted angrily, pivoting and hurrying towards the doors to the dorms. She didn’t let herself cry until she was out of earshot from him. And even though she knew he could catch up to her easily, he never came.

…

Later that night, after avoiding Tenya all afternoon, she was sitting in the kitchen staring at a cup of lavender tea. She was lost in her thoughts, so upset over Tenya, that she hadn’t gone to dinner with the rest of them, and couldn’t sleep. 

“Hey,” she heard someone call softly, and felt a hand on her shoulder. “Are you okay Uraraka? I haven’t seen you since before the awards ceremony.”

She turned to see Izuku, hair messy and sticking in all directions, brows slightly furrowed in concern, but his eyes were soft, and he was smiling slightly, but it was full of warmth. She shook her head, and felt the tears start to fall. 

“Hey, hey, shhh,” he murmured, putting his arms around her softly. She tried to ignore how it made her heartbeat rapidly. She sobbed lightly into his T-shirt, staining it with tears. He pulled her back and looked into her eyes. “What happened Ochako?” 

She smiled at the use of her given name and wiped her nose with her arm. “Tenya and I had a fight today.”

“Over what?” he asked. 

“Nothing, it was stupid- it doesn’t matter…” 

“If it made you cry, then it’s important to me.”

“Well,” she sighed, sniffling. “I don’t know, he was being so rough, and he was upset, and when I asked him why, he got mad, and just retaliated with ‘am I not allowed to make out with my girlfriend?’ and then he just got rougher and it made me nervous, so I pushed him away, and that made him really angry, and he said things I hope he didn’t mean…” she said breathlessly, choking down sobs as she spat out the words. “I don’t know what happened, I don’t know if it was him getting third place or what but he’s always been such a good sport and he’s never been that rough with me before,” she sobbed, tears slipping down her cheeks. 

Izuku pulled her close to him, wrapping his arms around her and letting her cry it out. 

“I’m sorry,” she said quickly, wiping her eyes and nose. “I shouldn’t have forced that at you-”

“No, I’m glad you told me. We’re best friends, we tell each other everything, right?” he said, and grinned at her, wiping a tear off her cheek. She then realized how close they were, and pulled back quickly. 

“So… congratulations on placing first! I wanted to congratulate you, but I…” 

“That’s alright,” he said, clearing his throat and smiling at her. “Thank you. I’m honestly really surprised.” They looked into each other’s eyes, lingering for a few seconds too long. Ochako cleared her throat and looked down at her mug. 

“Do you want some tea?” she asked, turning away from him to hide the flush rising on her cheeks. 

“Uh… sure,” he said, his voice shaking slightly, not enough to be noticeable to a normal person, but she knew Izuku, and to her, it was as loud as a siren. She wondered if it was from their eye contact. Probably not, I mean, he does like Tsu, so if he is uncomfortable, it’s only because you are, she thought and busied herself with making him a cup. 

“So…” she said innocently after they had been sitting and drinking their tea in silence for a few minutes. “How has the whole thing with Tsu been going? You still like her right?”

“Umm, about that-” he started but was cut off by Bakugou. 

“What are you two nerds doing down here?” he asked, his voice bleary from sleep. 

“Uh, we couldn’t sleep so we were having some tea,” Ochako said quickly. 

“Whatever Pink Cheeks,” he said sleepily, and walked over to the fridge, grabbed a cookie, and started back for the elevator. 

“Wow, it’s late! We should probably go to bed,” Izuku said, smiling softly at her. He turned around to set his cup in the sink and started towards the elevator behind Bakugou. 

“Wait!” she burst out. “Thank you. For everything.”

His smile was breathtaking when he replied; “Always.”

She watched him go, smiling and sighed when he got on the elevator. She shook her head, slapping the side of it repeatedly. What is wrong with you Ochako! You have a boyfriend! Stop thinking about Izuku! Her brain was berating her, but her heart was melting, she was just so happy. She had almost forgotten about her fight with Tenya, and when she got back up to her room, she fell asleep and dreamt warm and happy dreams compared to her usual restless nightmares. 

The next morning, Izuku was heading towards the kitchen when he saw Iida and Ochako. He felt a swell of jealousy and a stab of pain as Ochako stood on her tip-toes to kiss Tenya on the lips. He looked away, his appetite gone, and flopped on the couch next to Sora and Todoroki. 

“What’s wrong Midoriya?” Sora asked, taking in his friend’s expression.

“Nothing,” he grumbled, and Todoroki looked towards the kitchen and then turned back, nodding. 

“That’ll do it,” Todoroki stated plainly. 

“I guess they made up,” Sora said, after taking a peek. “Iida was so torn up yesterday, he said he really messed up, I don’t know what he did, but it seemed bad, he was so upset…” 

“I know, I talked to Ochako last night.”

“Ooh, Ochako? Since when were you two on a first-name basis?” Todoroki teased quietly, so the others didn’t hear. 

“Oh shut up,” Izuku said, giving Todoroki a look. Todoroki laughed, and Sora elbowed him in the ribs. 

“Um, ow,” Todoroki yelped indignantly. 

“Oh hush,” Sora teased, kissing his boyfriend lightly.  

“Can you two quit it?” Izuku mumbled. “Can’t you see I’m trying to mope over here?” 

“Why are you moping, Midoriya?” Kirishima prompted, popping up from behind the couch. Sora, startled, fell over onto Todoroki. Bakugo stood up next to him, looking annoyed (per usual), causing Sora to throw his hands in the air in exasperation.

“Is this about Pink Cheeks, you idiot? You really need to get over yourself,” Bakugou practically yelled. 

Izuku’s face blanched. “Kacchan! What the hell is wrong with you?” He swiveled around in his seat, pushing Bakugou violently out of the way to see that they were no longer there. He breathed a sigh of relief while simultaneously feeling hurt. How did she forgive him so quickly? She was so upset yesterday… 

“Why the hell do you think it’s okay to push me you idiot? Don’t think I won’t blast you into the sky!” 

“Calm down babe,” Kirishima said, setting a gentle hand on his boyfriend’s shoulder. “Anyway Midoriya, sorry we were eavesdropping, we just couldn’t help ourselves. Katsu over here is a bitch for the drama.”

“Shut your piehole Ei,” Bakugou muttered, earning a grin from Kirishima. 

Izuku laughed. “It’s alright, I guess. Just don’t be so loud next time, Kacchan.”

“Don’t tell me what to do nerd,” Bakugou muttered, but was smiling slightly at his boyfriend. 

“So… what are you gonna do about Uraraka?” Kirishima asked, cocking his head to the side slightly. 

“I don’t know, I’m kind of hopelessly in love with her, so it’s awkward to be around her without other people there, and we keep running into each other in the middle of the night, and honestly Kacchan, if you hadn’t shown up last night, I probably would’ve confessed to her. And that wouldn’t have been good, considering she went right back to Iida this morning, so she obviously loves him, not me, which I already knew…” he was rambling, his friends looking on sympathetically, except for Todoroki and Bakugou, Todoroki was staring down at the ground, a look of concentration on his face as he watched a bug scuttle underneath the couch. Bakugou was rolling his eyes, watching Izuku with a sneer. 

“You’re an idiot Deku, you know that? How could you fall in love with your best friend? You’re hopeless!” Bakugou laughed maniacally, doubling over, and earning a swift kick from Kirishima right in the shin. “Why the hell did you do that Ei?!” he asked, hurt creeping into his voice, as he stopped laughing, looking at his boyfriend with puppy-dog eyes. It was very out of character for Bakugou, and Izuku almost laughed. Kirishima lovingly ruffled his spiky hair, grinning, and looked back to Izuku, still smiling, while Kacchan’s face was set in a deep pout. 

“You’ll figure it out Midoriya, don’t worry about it,” Kirishima reassured him, patting the green-haired boy on the head. “Anyway, Katsu and I are gonna go eat now, eavesdropping is taxing work,” Kirishima said, earning a laugh from the boys on the couch, and a mumble of agreement from Bakugou. 

Izuku watched the couple walk away, Kirishima throwing his arm over Bakugou’s shoulders and Bakugou just shrugging it off, smiling, and then turned back to Sora and Todoroki. 

“Well, now that we have internships coming up, I’ll at least have a week to think about what I need to do about Uraraka,” Izuku said, massaging his temples. 

“Yeah,” Sora replied, and then brightened suddenly. “So where are you going for your internship?” 

“I don’t know,” Izuku answered truthfully. He most likely had lots of offers coming in from different agencies, but he wasn’t sure. “I might go back to Endeavor’s agency. After all, I did learn a lot when I was there before.”

“That’s where I think I’m going as well,” Todoroki said, nodding. “As much as I hate the bastard, I’m still getting used to using my fire all the time.” 

“No fair! You two get to go somewhere together while I go off somewhere else!? You guys’ll be having all kinds of fun without me!” Sora whined, pouting. 

“Well, I guess I’ll just have to make it up to you then,” Todoroki proposed, leaning in to his boyfriend and kissing him lightly on the lips.

“I’m going to take that as my cue to leave,” Izuku said quickly, standing up and hurrying towards the kitchen to grab a Pop Tart before Sora could protest. 

Now, where are the Pop Tarts again? I could have sworn they were in this cabinet, he thought, rummaging through the boxes. 

“What are you looking for Midoriya?” he heard a voice from behind him ask. Iida. Izuku turned around, forcing a smile onto his face. 

“Just grabbing a Pop Tart, well, I would be if I could find them,” Izuku answered, taking in Iida’s disheveled appearance, his lips a bit swollen, hair tousled. He could see Ochako sitting at one of the tables next to Yaomomo and Jirou, her hair looking like she had tried to tame it after someone (cough-Iida-cough) had run their fingers through it wildly, her cheeks flushed as her friends teased her. 

“Can we talk?” Iida asked, his head cocking to the side. “Preferably outside?” 

“Um, sure,” Izuku gulped, turning back to the cabinet. “Just let me get my Pop Tart first.”

“Alright,” Iida said unwillingly. “By the way Midoriya, the Pop Tarts are in the other cabinet.”

“Oh, duh. Thanks Iida,” Izuku laughed, walking over to the other cabinet and opening it to see the Pop Tarts sitting right in the front. Of course. He opened the box, pulling out a strawberry one and ripped off the wrapper, biting into it absently. He wondered what Iida wanted to talk about, although he had a pretty good idea. He wasn’t looking forward to getting chewed out, even though he knew he deserved it. He sighed, watching Iida walk towards the doors to the courtyard, and discarded his wrapper before following. 

Izuku walked out into the courtyard, preparing himself for a lecture. 

“Midoriya, we need to talk,” Iida started. Izuku nodded, bracing himself for the harsh truth that he needed to get over Ochako, that she was Iida’s, not his. “I just wanted to apologize for the way I acted yesterday, I don’t know what came over me, to be honest. I guess it was getting third place or….” he trailed off, anger flashing across his features before wiping clean again. “Anyway, I was harsh with you yesterday, and I felt I needed to apologize. I hope you can forgive me.” 

Izuku stared at him in shock, disbelief coloring his face, before he shook it off and smiled. “Of course Iida, don’t worry about it.”

Iida bowed, smiled at Izuku, and walked back into the building. Izuku felt weak in the knees. He had been so nervous that Iida was going to yell at him, or at least get angry. For the first time since Iida and Ochako had been dating, Izuku had felt that maybe, just maybe, she liked him back, and would be his if he asked. He had been ready to fight for her, he realized with a jolt. He would’ve fought Iida for her. It scared him a little. He’d never been the type to just fight people, he wasn’t like Bakugou, who just threw himself into fights constantly, who constantly wanted to fight. 

But for Ochako? Izuku would do anything. But she was with him. At least she’s happy, he thought, as long as she’s happy…

[quaylinsims]

True to his word, Henry had the coach driver stop in a town on the way to his cousin's house. At first glance, it was super cute and historic. Everything looked to be from around the Civil War era. Much like Henry's suit and the stagecoach and the "roads" and...

Henry bought a newspaper and asked where one could go to find a pre-made dress for a little girl. He was directed to a corner shop. When we got there, I looked out and noticed the dresses and everything else were also from the 19th century. Henry's newspaper said 1850.

My heart began racing, and my head began pounding. Thoughts started flashing through my mind: How did I end up in 1850? That shouldn't be remotely possible! How do I get home? Can I get home? Do they have plumbing? Does my family know I'm gone? I hate those ruffly hoops skirts. How do I live in an era where women can't even vote? Does my family think I'm dead? Will I ever get home?

I started hyperventilating. Henry patiently waited for me to calm down, and I knew he had no idea how to help. Still, he tried. He put a cautious hand on my back and rubbed it slowly, gently.

Think! Think! One thing at a time! I need to wear clothes. This man is helping me. One thing at a time.

I slowly regained my composure and let Henry know I was ready to go.

Inside, the shop was very girly. The man behind the counter greeted Henry, who in turn said he needed to buy me a few dresses.

A few? Wow.

The man finally looked at me in my tent, his eyes widening. He quickly glanced back at Henry as if to size him up, but the latter was calm as ever.

Soon, I was trying on dresses.

Then our destination rose up amid the fields .s book, and Henry gave him some money.

"I really appreciate this, Henry," I said when we were back in the coach.

"Mr. Baldwin."

"What?"

He sighed.

"It is inappropriate for a young girl to call a man by his first name. Honestly, child, did no one teach you manners?"

Shit. I really messed that one up. That's right. 19th century. I have to be proper. I've read a lot of period novels and watched a lot of period tv. Thank you, Bridgerton. I can do that.

"Apologies, Mr. Baldwin," I correct. "I can do better. Your generosity is deeply appreciated."

I even bowed my head a little and offered a sheepish smile. He looked stunned at my reversal.

"That is much improved," he said. "Now then, Miss Swan, we will be going to my cousin's house. He is Mr. Tobias Nickelby. He has many... people in his... employ... I trust you will be well-behaved?"

"Of course, Mr. Baldwin."

He nodded and fell silent, reading his newspaper. I recalled some genealogical research I had done and the newspapers I had searched for obituaries. They published a lot of local social news, like who was passing through, who was visiting whom, whether my grandparents' homing pigeons made it back to Cleveland. I smiled and quietly chuckled to myself at the memory. I wondered what was in this newspaper.

We had to stay in an inn that night. We weren't far from Mr. Baldwin's cousin's house, but it was too far to venture further in the night. He rented me my own room for my privacy. I was grateful. It did not take me long to fall asleep, what with the eventful day and all.

We were back on the road in the early morning, eating breakfast at dawn and heading out of town. By noon, we were almost there.

"Now remember, Miss Swan, you are to call my cousin Mr. Nickelby."

"Yes, of course, sir."

He smiled.

We took a turn east. Thick trees on the right, vast fields on the left. There were men and women out working in the fields, wielding tools and carrying baskets.

Then our destination rose up amid the fields and we turned down the long driveway.

To call Mr. Nickelby's home a house was an understatement. It was a lovely mansion. Lovely until I got a closer look around me. All the workers wore tattered clothes, and none was white. Except for the odd fellow here or there just standing around barking at the others.

I wanted to cry. This was the past. I knew that. This was 1850. Of course slavery was still a thing. But to see it...

"I don't want to be here!"

Mr. Baldwin quickly turned his head at my outburst.

"I can't!"

"What ever is the matter with you?"

Mr. Baldwin sounded more surprised than upset.

"Th-this," I stammered, tears beginning to fall. "This is-isn't ri-ight!"

He looked out as we neared the plantation house's front.

"You are not wrong, child," he nearly whispered. "But we must be respectful of our host."

I wasn't sure if I could do that. I shook my head.

"How is your imagination? Can you pretend they are not there?"

I must have given him quite the stare because he looked back at me with shock.

"Remember your manners."

His tone was almost scolding, but before I could say anything, he was hopping out of the coach.

Mr. Nickelby -- whose formal name I use out of respect for Mr. Baldwin, not the vile filth that owned humans -- greeted his cousin with a roaring "Welcome!" Mr. Baldwin gestured to the coach, and said something about me. The former waved a greeting in my direction and escorted Mr. Baldwin inside.

I had to leave the coach.

I stepped foot onto a working plantation, and I shuddered. I knew from school and documentaries and movies how frighteningly awful they could be. I looked around for something that didn't seem tainted by malevolence, and I saw a small tombstone under a tree.

"That there was Mrs. Nickelby's favorite tree," said a voice behind me.

I turned to find a beautiful woman in a yellow dress and an apron standing about four feet away. I could just make out a scar on her left brow under her hair and a tattoo on her right wrist. She caught me staring at it.

"Come, Miss. There is a room for you."

She led me upstairs to a very frilly room.

"Thank you," I said, my voice catching in my throat.

I caught sight of her tattoo again. I knew it was a brand. I wanted to cry again.

"I am so, so sorry," I say, trying not sob.

"I'm surprised you care, Miss. If I may say so."

"Of course you may. And I promise you: this will all end one day."

She gave me one of those looks adults give children when they've said something so innocent that their naivity is both adorable and sad. I knew this look; I'd given it to my nephews. It broke my heart that she didn't have that hope.

I did not go down to dinner that night. For the next three days, Mr. Nickelby entertained Mr. Baldwin, and I ate what little I could in my room. I never met his daughter, and she never tried to introduce herself to me. Though I understood we were about the "same" age.

Finally, Mr. Baldwin knocked on the door.

"Come in."

He entered, took one look at my I-just-finished-ugly-crying face, and frowned.

"What has you so upset, child?"

I couldn't talk about how I was stuck 171 years before my "present" and so far removed from those I cared for, but I felt I could possibly mention the horrors I knew about and even had seen from my window. I took a deep breath.

"I hate this place," I admitted. "Enslaving humans beings, it's just so wrong!"

He pulled the chair from the corner to the side of the bed.

"Just yesterday, I saw an overseer whip a man so violently that--"

I had to pause. I didn't think I had more in me.

"It was awful. The crack of the whip. The blood. I could tell what it was even at night."

I buried my face in my hands and tried some deep breathing exercises.

"I am sorry, Miss Swan. No child should have to see that."

I looked up at Mr. Baldwin.

"No human should have to endure that," I answered.

My tone was harsher than I would have liked it to be, but Mr. Baldwin didn't show any shock or disppointment.

"Well, we will be leaving in the morning," he said, rising from the chair. "Hopefully you will feel better once we are on our way."

Through the lens of the 21st century, it nearly enraged me that he wasn't more upset by things. Everywhere I looked, everything I saw reminded me that I was in 1850, yet I could not wrap my head around what I knew to be an ass-backward, hateful, ignorant way of life.

It was somewhat of a relief that Mr. Baldwin at least also disagreed with what those in the south were doing.

It took two weeks to get to Philadelphia. I was relieved to be in the North. I was just about to ask Mr. Baldwin if I would be staying with him.

"I have written ahead to a cousin of mine here in Philadelphia," he told me over breakfast. "She is a teacher at a school for girls, and I have secured you a room there."

I was stunned.

"Do not leave your mouth hanging open, young lady."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Baldwin. I'm just surprised."

"Why? You can read. You are an intelligent girl. Why shouldn't you go to school?"

Well, I can't disagree. I've always loved school, but it's a little elementary for me, my dear Baldwin. I do have advanced degrees.

"You are always so generous, Mr. Baldwin. I wish I deserved it."

"I will leave you with an allowance, and I will send more regularly."

I was speechless. This sort of kindness always made me feel uncomfortable, and I couldn't understand why anyone would want to dote on me.

"Why are you so kind to me, Mr. Baldwin?" I asked quietly.

He smiled and placed his napkin on the table.

"Come, I want to make a stop first."

The stop, it turned out, was for me. Mr. Baldwin took me to a bookstore on our way to the school and told me to pick out anything I wanted. Of course, the books I really wanted to read weren't out yet. But I found a few.

"This may be the most generous thing you've done for me yet," I smiled.

"I'm glad you're happy," he he said with a chuckle. "We are near the school, so you can always come back here."

"Oh, I will."

I wondered about the possibility of somehow getting home and bringing some mint condition first editions with me.

He wasn't wrong; the school was very close. His cousin, much nicer to look at and not a slaver, welcomed us in. She was warm and comforting, not unlike Mr. Baldwin. He left as night fell.

She showed me to my room, which I would share with another girl, Anne. Anne was quiet and very hard to get to know; she mostly ignored me. When I wasn't in class, I was often upstairs reading, sometimes under my blanket, but only when the sun was bright through the windows.

I received regular letters from Mr. Baldwin and his wife, which I did not expect. She seemed like a lovely woman to know. I hoped I would get a chance to meet her.

The Baldwins went to Boston for the holidays. Mrs. Baldwin's father was there, and he was ill. I was glad she had a chance to visit with him. I was homesick, too. I wondered how my mother was and if the nursing home was treating her kindly.

I frequently visited the bookstore, found a few others, and scanned newspapers for any bizarre stories that could be like mine. But to no avail. I had no other way to figure out how to get home.

Late in the spring, I received a letter from Mrs. Baldwin inviting me to stay at their home for the summer months.

[shhhselah]

What A Wonderful Life...

​Friday, May 17, 2019

2:35pm

​​"What an interesting life you've caught me in the middle of...."

I caught myself saying this out loud a few weeks ago. That date overhead to be exact.

Life is such a journey. Such a process.

Constantly, we're growing, changing, evolving- never really staying in one spot or settling into one modus operandi. Have you ever heard the phrase, "A master piece and work in progress?" That's truly a concept I feel slips the mind of so many. Even ourselves. We know that we're changing and adjusting, but, honestly, we don't always agree with, like or desire the change we find ourselves going through. Sometimes that change alters us physically, and it may not always be flattering or pleasing.

And other times, we witness emotional, mental and spiritual transformations that either excite us, or frighten us. I've experienced this. We all have. (And actually, correction- I ​​am experiencing this. A season that rattles me because I don't recognize my spiritual surroundings.)

We all have those moments where you take stock of who you are versus who you used to be and find yourself to be a current stranger to the you once known. A stranger in your own body, a foreigner in your own thoughts.

​​When did I get so defensive? When did I become so broken? Why did I stop trusting, smiling, opening up? When did I stop talking, believing, hoping? How did I stop loving? When did I stop truly ​​living? What happened.... to "me?"

And you know what can be so damaging and yet helpful all at once? ​​M e m o r i e s.

See, while it's good to recall memories, it's so harmful to ​​harp on them. We were made to live in the present, it's why our breath comes and goes so steadily instead of staying behind in one spot that we have to consistently travel backwards to in order to reach. We were designed to live in the moment.

Those memories are a blessing. They're an opportunity to view and learn from every present you've ever found yourself in, every gift you've gotten to live in- so that you can walk a little straighter, wiser and freer in the next....but the moment you start harping on those past presents, you neglect all the undivided attention this current one requires. And you live in a duality that brings both anxiousness and confusion.

You bring a nasty case of comparison into the mix. We tend to split our time between nostalgia, trauma, reality and delusions of grandeur. Past. Present. Future.

The both good and bad times of the past, the ever steady action of the present and the unknown possibilities of the future. We live in them all and somehow expect our present selves to maintain order and a standard of satisfactory being that appeases each viewpoint.

Let me set you free here and now-

You will ​​never be completely like your old self- you've gone through too much. So much more than that self of even ​​days ago has experienced. I'm starting to learn and accept that, but it's hard for me on some days when I liked the old version better. What gives me hope, is knowing that God has a greater design for me that He didn't leave in the past, but lays peacefully in every step forward I take. If the past were better, I'd be there. But it's not. There was something there that was still obsolete, untapped and lacking.

What's more, you will ​​never be like your future self- they've witnessed more than the present can presently tell you. Secrets that God has purposed only time to hold.

And understand, your present self is constantly being prepared for the future and shaped by the past. They're under a lot of work. But that work is null in void if you don't allow them to soak up every moment they're in so they can pull something from it and be molded by it.

​​What an interesting life you've caught me in....

Who we're used to being and used to being known as, isn't going to always be the truth of who we are and will be. So set yourself free to forever be a work in progress and masterpiece all at once.

Set yourself free to live life and experience life as it comes. If the day is unpredictable, why can't your growth process be? Don't set restrictions on yourself. Live. What's meant will come and happen, because you have a sovereign God who always starts what He finishes (​​Isaiah 46:9-11). And He calls you His workmanship, His clay, His skillfully and wonderfully made creation in whom He delights.

Trust me, He has an attention to detail and His attention is all yours. You're worth it, and truly, He loves it. So be free, and live in the beautiful, yet startling vulnerability of being creation, where you don't have to constantly create yourself- forever loved and governed by Almighty above.

"12 Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me His own. 13 Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. 15 Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything (in any point) you think otherwise (differently), God will reveal that (make it clear) also to you. 16 Only let us hold true (live up to) to what we have (already) attained."

Philippians 3:12-16

Don't ever feel like you have something to prove. What God has put in you is intrinsic. The areas you walk into were made to build you, be a catalyst that sparks your nature and be a field in which to practice, hone and shine in who you are. You were created for those places.

Your only job is to BE. God will continue to sculpt exactly what that "being" looks like at any given moment, whether seemingly good, bad, ugly or pleasing. That's a part of Surrender- ​​ceasing resistance, submitting to an authority greater than your own, to give up possession of, to deliver up."

Give up your ideas of what you should do, who you should be, and where you should be. It's an act harder done than said, but it's a journey that is best walked with the Creator- who has all the finer details etched out and all the possibilities accounted for- purposing each one for good. (​​Psalm 37:23, Proverbs 16:9, Romans 8:28)

Do you know the difference between Evidence and Proof?

Proof is a biased concept. It seeks to discount one thing and support another.

Evidence is objective. It has no agenda. It is simply there, and its presence tells a story.

The story of God's existence is in the evidence of creation- our world. He tells us this in ​​Romans 1:19-20.

Trees, animals, the ocean, the wind, birds, bees, flowers, and even our complex DNA, they have never moved to prove anything. They simply exist and operate in their nature, and have been a consistent testimony to something greater.

We have sought for years to understand their origin and complexity, ​​our origin and complexity. They derive from the same Caretaker who clothes the fields of grass and feeds the birds of the sky.

​​"25 'Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? 28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

34 Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.'"

​​Matthew 6:25-34

You will always feel behind and be behind when you have something to prove.

God is always with us. In every moment. Living in the past or future holds no meaning, it's a trick of the enemy that keeps us between condemnation and striving desperately and futilely beyond grace.

​​"8 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast. 10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."

​​Ephesians 2:8-10

I've had a habit of pointing to the past to remind God of where I can't go again or where I was better off. I also have a habit (which was the entirety of my 2018), where I take the snippets of what God has shown me He has for me, and I drag Him around and try to drill Him like a sergeant to get me there. The year was saturated with impatience, exhaustion, resentment, bitterness, envy, confusion and hurt.

This life is not yours when you're in Christ. It's His. ​​​​Galatians 2:20 ​​tells us that,

"I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who lives, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me."

And in being His, there are plans, achievements, dreams, timings, and revelations that He's taken on the responsibility to deliver and create. This is not yours to carry.

Why carry something on your own that God told you He'd do Himself? If He put it on your heart, it's for Him to do, not you. Why try to do God's job and be Him? How futile. We fail and stall out when we attempt to take His plans, make them our own and go running off with them.

There is a partnership called Faith. That leads us to Obedience. But we can't obey who we do not serve or even acknowledge. When striving in our own efforts, understandings, assumptions and desires, when do we have time and room to consult the One who prepared our good works ahead of time?

Stay steady with Him in the now. His grace has covered your entire timeline, but reap the benefits of the fresh mercies He purposed for this moment.

​​"22 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;

   his mercies never come to an end;

23 they are new every morning;

   great is your faithfulness."

​​Lamentations 3:22-23

Don't try to run ahead. Take it from me, it leaves you bitter and worn.

Be spoiled by the God who has already completed the works.

​​"9 Remember the former things of old,

For I am God, and there is no other;

I am God, and there is none like Me,

10 Declaring the end from the beginning,

And from ancient times things that are not yet done,

Saying, ‘My counsel shall stand,

And I will do all My pleasure,’

11 Calling a bird of prey from the east,

The man who executes My counsel, from a far country.

Indeed I have spoken it;

I will also bring it to pass.

I have purposed it;

I will also do it."

​​Isaiah 46:9-11

Prove nothing and never strive . Like evidence, just be, and watch yourself ever unfold on this journey of life as God unravels all the beautiful secrets He's placed down on the inside of you, tucked neatly away in the timeline of your path.

Time to be set free, darlings.

Live. Presently.

[lovethesoftkpopbabies]

Congratz on your new blog! Finally someone else in the kpop fandom likes chubby things! I saw on your list that you like BAP soooooo... is there any way I could request BAP reacting to their s/o noticing they've gotten a bit softer and cuddling/playing with their new chub?

Awww, thank you Anon! Thank you for being my first ask! ^^ Sure thing, I love B.A.P. and that actually sounds hella adorable oh my gosh. >w

Also note: Yongguk’s is also shorter, but I felt his was appropriate and didn’t need as much added on. ^^

Anywho, I hope this is okay~!

B.A.P Reacting to their S/O noticing they’ve gained weight and cuddling/playing with their new chub:

Yongguk:

 "…Jagiya, what are you doing down there..?“ His voice was soft and curious, ending with a light chuckle as he tilted his head down to look at you. 

 "Nothing.. I see you’ve been eating well.” You mused, a knowing smirk on your own lips- You two had been cuddling on the couch, and you couldn’t help as you had been poking and patting you’re boyfriend’s now softer, more prominent tummy out of curiosity. Considering how lanky he had always seemed since the two of you had been together, this was an interesting (though certainly not unwelcome- development.) You witnessed a heated blush dust your boyfriend’s cheeks.

“Um.. y-yeah.. American food was very good.” He said simply, quietly, grin growing brighter despite his reddening expression. 

“I’m glad, I was worried about you taking care of yourself being so far away.. you look very healthy, Gukkie..” he looked at you, probably studying to tell if you were joking or serious. Regardless of that, you cuddled closer to him to which he readily complied, pulling you closer into his arms. You nuzzled closer to him, giving his softer frame a squeeze. “Plus you’re even better to cuddle now..” This was certainly the truth; he felt warmer and softer in your returned embrace, all the more to cuddle close to and reside within his arms. 

    He said nothing more, but he chuckled before he turned his face into your hair, feeling his grin grow even wider before he pressed his lips to your soft locks. “I’m glad you think so.. maybe I’ll keep it for you.”

Himchan:

     “Y/N-ah.. stop playing with my fat, I already know I need to lose weight.”  You two had been on a flight in a jet home together, alone where you had leaned close into his seat, holding a glass of champagne as you had found yourself cuddling him, subconsciously rubbing his rounder belly with your free hand in the process. He had gently pushed you away, turning away now, looking hurt to face the window.

     “Chanie…  I wasn’t doing that to remind you to lose weight. I was doing it because I like to- I like it when you’re soft..” you said just as gently, still in your seat beside him. He gave an unconvinced look and sighs. “You’re saying you like me when I look like a pig?”

     “You don’t look like a pig. You look handsome, just like you’ve always looked.” You said in a serious tone, taking his face in hand and turning him to look at you, a gentle hand cupping his chubbier cheek. “Please don’t be this way. Don’t be so hard on yourself. I think.. I think you look lovely, I’m not worrying anymore about you not eating and over-exerting yourself. Aren’t I allowed to love you regardless of your size?” you argued, before reaching down once more and patting his belly again. “Besides, I like this. I really do like you like this.” He gave you an unsure look for a few moments, before he nodded slowly, trying to hide a smile. 

“You’re so kind Jagiya, that’s why I love you so.” 

     “That’s better.” You smiled brightly in return getting close once more and raising your glass again, holding it up to toast.”Now, let’s toast.. to my Himchan, for being a handsome man regardless of his size.”

      He smiled brightly and held his up in return- “To my Jagiya and her beautiful heart, for loving me without restriction.”   

Daehyun: 

   “Jagiya, what are you doing? That feels good..” your boyfriend smiled at you as the two of you had been out at lunch together for a little while now. You curiously had been squeezing and rubbing his tummy experimentally, not used to the soft, squishy abdomen your boyfriend was now sporting. Even if it was now a little more taut than usual from the meal.

   “Careful, the other members will say that your eating is catching up with you..” you teased with a wide grin, leaning over to place a kiss on his nose. 

   “So what? I like to eat, and I don’t see a problem with it.. I enjoy eating with you too much to worry too harshly.” he said before his face fell slightly. “Unless.. do you not like it? I can always start working out more again if you don’t.. If you liked my body better before I wish you would have said something..” his face seemed to be forming into a worried expression now, which you immediately tried to ease. 

    “No, that’s not it, not at all! I actually do like it, I really like it- I promise. I like seeing you happy and eating well, Dae.” you assured him, taking his free hand that wasn’t holding his chopsticks and giving it a reassuring squeeze. His face soon lost its worry and his relaxed smile was present once more. 

    “You… really like it?” he seemed almost confused for a small moment before his look changed from worried to mischievous. “Don’t sound too excited Jagiya. I may just have to eat more if you like it that much…” he teased, holding a piece of food out in front of you with his chopsticks accusingly before quickly popping it into his mouth with an amused expression. 

Youngjae: 

     “Y/N. Don’t.” was all he said, pulling out of your grasp. You stared at your boyfriend lost; all you had done was walked up behind him and given him a hug around his waist, squeezing his tummy. You had noticed as you two had gone out to eat more often, he had started to soften, but of course you didn’t mind this. 

“Jae, what’s wrong?” you asked, voice thick with concern. He said nothing, but he did toss his phone towards you, flopping onto the bed before it could touch you. You glanced down at the phone, open was a photo the two of you had taken the other day, then you noticed the comments below it. 

“Oppa you look so big lately… what have you been eating?”

“Youngjae should get under control before Y/N leaves him.” 

You stared at the phone in shock, face twisting at the pure ridiculousness of such callous words. 

“Jae.. please don’t take those comments seriously.. I love you just as you are, I like soft men.” you said to him, straight and earnestly. He still didn’t look convinced, searching your face for any doubt or joking. You paused for a moment, before adding- “Besides, don’t you think if I didn’t like it I would’ve told you?”

   You didn’t give the boy a chance to answer- as you were too busy letting your hands duck down, and your fingers tickle his plush, newly soft sides. Youngjae couldn’t help but fall backwards onto the shared bed, laughing heartily and trying to pin your hands down to save himself from such a fest. Once he had finally caught your hands, pinning them to each side of him as you loomed over him, both breathing heavily and still giggling with gasps of air, he finally smiled and leaned up to kiss your nose. 

   “I- I’m still not sure how to feel about it. But if you really like it.. and if you’re here to make me feel this nice all the time despite those comments.. I think I could get used to it. Promise me you’ll always be here to cheer me up?”

Jongup:

     You had tried for a while to hide the fact that you really liked how your boyfriend Jongup was looking nowadays. His body was getting softer, rounder, and honestly you were doing everything you could to keep your hands off of it, just so you wouldn’t embarrass him or make him feel weird in any way. He hadn’t really outwardly acknowledged this change in his appearance, so you assumed he didn’t want it brought up. That doesn’t mean however, you didn’t get to touch at all. 

   You had found ways to sneak a few touches and grasps here and there; wrapping your hands around his waist when you passed him, snuggling up and spooning him in bed after he was asleep. This had been one of those times, where you had assumed he had drifted off by now, so you decided to go in and wrap an arm over his torso, resting it gently on his belly, fingers grazing the fabric of the shirt he was wearing ever so slightly. You had expected him perhaps to shift a little in his sleep, or make a soft noise. What you didn’t expect, was to hear right amidst the silence and darkness of the bedroom-

“Y/N, how come you only hold me like this when I’m asleep?” 

You froze, wondering and hoping to the heavens he was simply just talking in his sleep.. and that it just happened to be very accurate to what was happening. However, the light was switched on and your boyfriend now sat up in bed, propped up on his arms staring at you, clearly waiting for an answer. 

“I.. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable..” you said, feeling your cheeks heat up. 

   “Why? Because I’ve gained weight? I thought at first it might make you uncomfortable too.. until I felt how much more you touched me after it had happened. Why is that? Do you like it?” he asked teasingly, leaning an arm forward and resting his head on his fingers with a knowing smirk.

   He let out a chuckle when your response was a roll of your eyes and tossed pillow in his face.  

Zelo:

The two of you had been spending a lazy day together, sitting on the floor as you had been flipping through a scrapbook. The book had been given to Zelo as a gift from you, including all of the photos of you two, him and his hyungs over the years the two of you had been together. You currently sat as he had resided behind you, longer legs wrapped around yours as your head and back lay comfortable in the space of his softer chest, his head resting on top of your own. Your hand traversed up his side and gave his plush side a squeeze, him initially pulling back a little.

“Are you alright?” you asked him, worried you had pinched him or hurt him somehow. 

“Look at me, Y/N. That photo there- I should still look like that.. everyone sees it. I’ve gotten fat.. why haven’t you left me yet?” his voice sounded suddenly hurt, and you were confused he could even ask such a thing to you over something so small. Immediately, you turned to face him.

    “No. Zelo, you look at me.” You took his face into your hands, squishing his cheeks slightly. “Believe me when I say, you look fine. Sure, you may have a six pack anymore but do you really think I’ve been here this whole time with you because of that? I love you for you, not for abs or fame or whatever else. I think you look just as fine now as you did then.”

 “.. Are you sure? Please be honest with me, Jagi. Do you really not mind it?” he asked, giving his body a wary glance before meeting your eyes again, eyes wide and vulnerable, almost like a puppy who knew it was going to be in trouble after doing something wrong.

     “It’s more than alright with me, it’s cute. I think you’re really cute, as if you weren’t cute enough already before.” you teased, nudging him playfully. Your precious maknae of a boyfriend couldn’t help but smile after that.  

     “Well.. if you really think it’s cute.. then maybe I can make use of it.” his voice perked up significantly, leaning his head to one side and feigning an innocent looking expression, though his smile revealed it was anything but pure. Perhaps you had made a mistake giving him the power of knowing just how much you enjoyed his new look.