#i hope the post comes out ok the ask looked fine in my askbox but in the post editing thingy on mobile it looks like a wall

[staretes]

thank you for the kind tags on my baizhu fic !! (also finally followed you 😭)

you don’t have to respond just wanted you to see, thanks again <3

NO PROBLEM DUMBI!!! actually i should be thanking you for feeding us 🫶🫶

also this is our moot declaration post now 🤝 we are now moots

[seelestia]

HI HI NEW WRITING MOOTS <3 <3

o gosh heizou would have immediately found me out lol oh i see you!! helloooo <3

aaaa thank you ;w; hehe i’m a lil proud of the voicelines thingy! i just posted the full thing today and i might want to do it for the other series too maybe in the future! the code itself is nothing too complicated actually, just basic HTML / CSS / JS!! given time and the knowledge anyone can do it haha hnggg i’m glad the lore was interesting i was nervous it would be too cliche or boring lol

he’s a very fine gentleman ok give him the appreciation he deserves /j aww that does sound adorable!! and slkdjfsljdf pls you’re making me blush 🙈 yup yup!! i am just here to have fun and i shall remember to do what makes me happy <3

will albedo succeeds in wooing you?? or will susbedo realize that he has fallen in love with you??? or will you decide to ditch the two ‘bedos and look for a more suitable partner like zhongli??? we may never know….

👀 wdym lia come on now i merely chose that intermission from my collections of intermissions… zhongli being picked is just a coincidence… and i definitely haven’t been spending time at all with mr. zhongli, no no….

…. ok look i mean now that i’m off anon and you’re free to explore my account, you probably know about my… ahem… affection…. towards a certain refined, gorgeous, voice-like-velvet-eyes-of-molten-lava-drop-dead-gorgeous man…. sooo…. i’m just gonna to simp openly in your askbox now hope you don’t mind 🤭 /lh

wdym when YOUR brain is just as big, if not bigger than mine??? look at all your ✨amazing✨work!!! so beautifully written, exquisite storytelling and description 💯💯💯 i love your work sm too <3 <3 <3 hehe hope you enjoy binging the masterlist!!

you're right, it doesn’t ;w; i love xiao’s playstyle so much, it’s just so high-paced and gets me super engaged, so yeah definitely recommend to pull him next if you can!! and omgggg 15 pity kazuha…. i lost 50/50 to qiqi at 77 pity and kazuha only came home at 66…. at least xiao was kind and came home at 43 pity last time (altho i lost 50/50 to jean first slkdjflksjdflkjsdf). i wanted klee too but… kazuha ran me dry… super glad i stubbornly persisted tho, his synergy with xiao is really good!!

funny you ask that cause i’m saving up for hubby’s next banner :D but also…. same!! al haitham looks interesting ;)) and i heard from my friend that dori will have an ‘adorable’ kind of gameplay (kinda like klee), so she’s on my radar too!

hello, rin !! >:) ah yes, heizou and his dearest sidekick named, "intuition". 🔍 hehe, me and my emo albedo theme says hi too~

yeah, let's leave the 2bedo's in dragonspine and go search for that one fine man in liyue harbor FJDWKKDK ignore the teleport waypoints, the journey by foot will be worth it <3 (/j)

AS YOU SHOULD???? IT'S SO COOL I'M FLABBERGASTED??? the live version makes me float to cloud nine, aaaa. the way zhongli talks about his spouse so reminiscently and lovingly + the graphics >>>. oh my goodness, they help sm with the immersion !! you've outdone yourself, rin !! even if it's a simple thing in your eyes, i still think you did an amazing job ;D

[ talks about unreleased sumeru characters under the cut !! ]

if i ever create a genshin oc and want to make a cool edit for them, i'll definitely ask you for help! (/hj) rin best editor in my eyes <3

rin, it's either you've specifically typed his name when you're searching for that intermission or you've already used that gif before, hmm. 👀 either way, you seem quite smitten with him and by all means, do as you please. walk side by side through the streets of liyue, share a few stories and knowledge, have a meal and some drinks, be merry with him! ꒰˘꒳˘๑꒱

THE DETAILED DESCRIPTIONS, HELP. yes, i can feel your affections from a mile away and who am i to go against your wishes? >:) you'd do this for me if i word-vomit about heizou or that one fancy commissioner too 🤝 (/lh)

you're the best at coming up with ideas while i excel better in elaborating them a teeny tiny bit, so i'd say i am naught if i don't have my partner in crime to release plot bunnies with me !! and ofc, i will! your works are a jar of expensive candied petals to me like they are so simple yet so eloquent fjwkkdksk love em <3

mhm, xiao's playstyle really said "you better focus here." because i remembered being taken aback because his e skill is SO QUICK and as a kazuha main back then, the lack of having to hold the e skill shocks me. (/j)

your struggles to get kazuha... he saw you with zhongli and left the chat. (/j) i'm glad he has come home for you tho! zuha is super fun to play + the less cooldown bonus with double anemo on your team !! and about qiqi... hmm, let her be the unofficial adoptive daughter of zhongli and his spouse 👀 fun fact: qiqi is the only standard chara i don't have! my c1 mona is staring at me menacingly as we speak.

your hubby's shield is on another level, i think i might try my luck with him??? if i win the 50/50, that'd be cool but if i lose, then it means guaranteed al-haitham >:) OOO, DORI !! i saw her gameplay's leaks and she's so cute??? a little merchant on a squishy creature swinging a claymore <3 once upon a time when my klee used to have lost prayers as her weapon before i gave it to heizou jfkekdksk she says hi with her dodoco tales!

[nepenthendline]

S/O that self-harms and has an eating disorder -  Tsukishima, Tendou and Sugawara

TRIGGER WARNING AHEAD: SELF HARM AND EATING DISORDERS

I’m dumb and accidentally posted this half done so thats why the requests are in screenshots 

I’ve added these two requests together as they’re about the same topic. Firstly I just wanted to let anon though that I’m absolutely fine writing about these topics so you don’t need to worry! I will, however, make it extremely clear on these posts about the trigger warnings and I won’t go into intense detail so that it’s more accessible, I hope that’s ok! And thank you for your lovely words! 🥰🥰 I have added trigger warning tags for those who need to blacklist this, but please please let me know if you need me to add any others

I know there are so many people who are struggling with these issues, especially at the moment with covid, I’ve been there too and I’m still dealing with these things myself so I want you to know that if you need to talk to someone, or you’d like an emergency request, then my askbox and messages are always open. You are not alone, you are not ‘strange’ for dealing with these things, and I promise you things will get better, I’m already proud of any progress you have made and you should be too. It’s ok to have worse days and to fall back into negative spaces, you’re human!

Also, these will be following my own mental health hcs of these guys that I’ve already posted so check that out first!

Tsukishima:

Tsukishima is the one who understands this the most

he’s been there, he’s struggled with those things and he is still fighting

if you didn’t tell him upfront about your struggles, he would have easily found out by himself quite quickly

since he has been through it himself, he knows the warning signs to look out for, so when you start covering your arms more often even with the hotter weather, or make a passing comment that you aren’t hungry at meal times, he knows it’s his time to step up as a support system

he isn’t going to be particularly forward about it, he’s not the type to come up to you out of the blue and ask questions because he knows some of them can’t be answered, so he takes things into his own hands

he spends more quiet time with you, just the two of you cuddling in your bed as he brushes his fingers over your body

while it may seem like a usual calming display of affection, he is really searching your body for any marks or wounds that are new

he tries to coax your feelings and worries out of you, telling you that you can trust him and that he isn’t going to run away

he knows that he can’t expect you to open up without him doing so either, so he lays himself out for you

he tells you what he has been through, he shows you the scars on his body, he lets you into his heart and his head so that you know you aren’t alone

once you both spill your stories, you don’t talk about it much after that, you both know what is going on so it’s just a matter of taking care of each other

regarding food, he isn’t going to force you to eat huge meals, because he has a small appetite even when he’s eating perfectly fine

but he is going to try and get you eating little amounts consistently throughout the day

you don’t want to eat a full meal? that’s fine, but he is going to be passing you little snacks every few hours so that you at least have some fuel in your body

he’s a smart guy, he knows how the body functions at its best and he will do his best to teach you too in hopes that knowing what your body needs and how it reacts to certain situations will aid you to treat it better

he’s not going to wrap you up in bubblewrap and shield you from the world either, but he will do his best to make sure that there isn’t anything you can easily hurt yourself with in your reach

he’ll put sharp objects on the top shelves, saying it’s just to piss you off about your height

he also always keeps a first aid kit on him in case of emergencies, something he has gotten into the habit of over the last few years

he’s not going to sit there and tell you everything is going to be perfect or to just ‘get over it’, it’s going to be a long process with both of you learning and fluctuating every day, but you’ll both get there eventually

Tendou:

Tendou is extremely attentive, he knows exactly when your mood has changed or if something is wrong

he’ll leave it for a little while to see if you’ll come to him yourself, but if you don’t, then he’ll start asking questions

they start off as simple, casual questions to check up on you, like ‘how are you feeling today?’, ‘how was your day today?’, before they go into specifics if he feels like you aren’t being honest with him

he’s the type of guy that makes ‘jokes’ about his depression, even going as far as joking about suicide or self-harm, and when he notices you flinch ever so slightly at his words, he knew what was going on

he brings it up one day as if talking about the weather while reading manga together

“you’ve been hurting your own body, haven’t you?”

he tries to keep the conversations a light-hearted as possible, saying how you are now ‘scar buddies’ as he lifts up his shorts to show you his thighs

he understands that what he says isn’t really going to do much, but he’s still going to shower you with compliments and affection in the hopes that it brightens your mood and distracts you even a little

distraction is his main way of helping you - if he can keep you busy then there’s less chance of you hurting yourself in his eyes

he’s going to call you over or turn up to your room unannounced with a book in hand to read together, or invite you to cuddle with him as you have an anime binge session, he also wants to make sure you’re getting outside enough so walks to get ice-cream and sit in the park happen frequently

he knows he can’t ‘cure’ you or actually make things better, so he mentions about seeing a therapist if you aren’t already and he will support you every step of the journey if you do decide to seek help

like Tsukishima, he also has a smaller appetite in general so he doesn’t expect you to eat tons

he uses prompts often to try and get you to eat more, such as “babyyyy I’m hungry, let’s go down to the cafeteria together and get some food ok?” or “I bought this jumbo pack of ramen but I can’t eat it all myself, come give me a hand?”

he likes getting you sweet treats too, they often make him feel a little perkier so he hopes they will for you as well

he isn’t going to give them any details, but he will ask his team to keep an eye on you if he isn’t around

he likes to use rating systems with you to determined how you’re doing in the day, whether that be on a scale of 1-10, or texting him a particular emoji that signals if you’re having a bad day

he will never get mad or annoyed at you if you relapse, he understands its a journey that will have it’s ups and downs, but he always reminds you of how far you’ve come and how proud he is

Sugawara:

out of these three boys, Sugawara is the one who understands this the least

he’s never dealt with this issues himself, and he has never been around those who have besides those who struggle with anxiety

even though he can’t empathise, he is naturally an extremely caring person so he wants to do his best to understand

he reads up on self-harm and eating disorders to learn about how they originate, how to notice warning signs and what he can do to help you best

he comes to you a lot as well, asking if there is anything he should know or that he can do for you

while he may not notice these issues themselves straight away, he is always checking up on you in general so he can tell if there is something a little off

it breaks his heart to know that you intentionally harm yourself and it takes him a little while to wrap his head around it

he knows he can’t do much to help the issues you face directly, so he makes sure you are keeping up with more general self-care, such as showering, getting some little exercise everyday, indulging in your hobbies and talking to him and other friends

if you need to rely on him for a little while you’re trying to get back on your feet then that’s fine with him, he is more than happy to remind you to do things to take care of yourself and help you do them too

Sugawara is the most forward when it comes to you getting help from a doctor or therapist

he has a couple serious talks with you about how you need to find a method of battling this, whether that be therapy or medication

as much as he wants to be, he can’t take this away from you

he starts stocking his bag with emergency items too, things like bandages, healing ointment or any safe foods that you can eat

to help your eating, he does his best to make food become part of your regular routine in hopes that it will make eating become more familiar and less daunting

this means regular meal times and creating lists of safe foods with you that you feel you can eat better than others

he will do his best to make sure all your meals have the right nutrients for your body and also recommend you take vitamin supplements daily in case you have a bad eating day and cannot get them through your food

it frustrates him that he can’t do more for you, or that he can’t understand exactly how you feel, but he never shows you that

he will always have his arms open for you if you need support and he will never ever blame you for the struggles you deal with, he reminds you constantly that there will be better days and he is going to be with you through all of them

[scorpiosanssexy]

(For the roommate matchup) I'm an INFP and a Leo and I'm pretty shy, I also have social anxiety so I don't like meeting lots of new people. I spend a lot of my free time playing video games (mainly Nintendo), sewing, and reading manga/novels. I love sweets and make pretty great brownie and even though I can cook I don't enjoy it much so I avoid doing it. I also listen to music and yt a lot. I'm an early riser and often have my friends over for anime binging nights. (1)

{Though I never have more than one or two over at a time. I'm a pretty messy person but I keep everything clean, a big problem is I have long, thick hair that sheds everywhere. I don't play sports but I go out for lots of walks (mainly with my dog). I have asthma and hayfever and often keep a fan going in my bedroom to keep it cool. My friends describe my aesthetic as 'modern pastel grandma' soft colours and cosy things with a modern twist (particularly quilts and knit sweaters). Thank you :)}

Dear User

congratulations, we have found you a potenial roommate. We have throughly looked through your application and we hope you are happy with your result. Below this post are all the details about them 

Yours Sincerely 

The Accomodation Team 

Name: Sawamura Daichi

Birthday: 31st December (Capricorn)

MBTI: ENFJ

Congrats you might have just bagged yourself the best roommate possible 

Daichi here a dealt with all sorts of personalities so if you are bit shy to him at first he doesn’t mind if he has to take charge and lead the conversation 

However, he would never do something to the apartment without your consent first

As a Leo you will apprciate Capricorn ability to organise and take action. You come up with the ideas whilst Daichi actually makes them come true 

He is also very understanding when it comes to your social anxiety and will probably set up some boundraies with you in regards to having people over (eg: has to alert you 2 days before or something along those lines) 

Daichi strickes me as an animal crossing lover, like he loves to fishing and bug hunting, he gives all his fossils to blathers yes he is that person

You too would visit each other’s islands and Daichi would give you tips on how to get rarer fish

Daichi was never a big manga reader to begin with however you have introduced him to it and he now loves it because of you 

At the end of the day you willl both discuss the Manga in great detail (kinda like bookclub) 

You know those house rules from earlier, yeah no one is allowed to give manga spoliers we need this rule on tumblr lol

It is canon that he is a big eater so Daichi likes to make dishes high in protein so they can fill him up . that’s what she said

He probably also cooks for the entire village so there is always enough food for you when you get back, with Daichi as a roommate you hardly have to cook 

Once in a blue moon when do make your brownies, it actually makes his day, I do not see him as a baker so he hardly indulges in sweet treats all that often

Daichi is absolutely fine with you having your two friends come and watch anime with you, just as long as you don’t stay up too late (what a grandad) 

He sometimes likes to accompany you on your dog walks when he is not busy. I see him as a guy who lives for long nature walks and will happily chat you you or just walk in a comfortable silence (you can choose my darling user)

Seeing as you are an early riser, you do have to be his personal alarm clock.

It’s not like he sleeps until midday but Daichi hates having to rush around in the morning otherwise he is grumpy for the rest of the day so he really appreciates your early wake-up call 

Now, depending on stressful the day is depends whether or not Daichi cares too much about your hair shedding girl i have that same problem hit me up so we can talk

I think if you are sharing a room with Daichi he would ask you to hoover the place quite a lot (seems fair if he does all the cooking) 

I am talking once every two days 

However he is in awe of your sewing, like as a gift for his birthday you made him a jumper and now he always wears it around the house 

His teammates take all of their unifrom to you, a buttom came undone or yeah Daichi’s roommate can sew it back on 

You are a life saver 

Now remember the rule about Daichi having people over 

I feel like he only allows Suga and Kiyoko round (tananka and noya are banned because they accidently broke the coffee machine) 

You and Suga really vibe, like he i fell he also has that cottagecore aesthetic so you always make him really nice coffee and you two sit and drink it (with your brownies) and just talk about books and manga 

You and Kiyoko have sewing afternoon together , Tanaka and Noya from the windows are having nose bleeds right now 

When it comes your asthma and hayfever he is literally the CEO of checking you have your inhaler at all times 

He just agressively cares ok 

He sometimes stops of at the store to buy some hayfever tablest when he knows that theire is high pollen that day 

Your actually apartment itself looks like it came from a ghibli film no cap . suga is jealous af 

You have to have fake plants tho because your hayfever plus you don’t have to take care of them 

Overall, you have a dependable, caring and slighly protective roommate 

Other Potential Matches: Hinata Shoyo and Kenma Kozume

Askbox is still open 

[lilywoood]

Small Bump 3/?

So here I am with part 3, once again I want to profusely apologize for not posting the last prompts yet it’s just that this story is really occupying my mind and I feel like I need to write it before anything else, I still plan on posting the prompts but it’ll take a bit longer and for that I’m deeply sorry.

If you want to be on Small Bump tag list don’t hesitate to hit my askbox it’s easier to reach out for me this way ♥️

Tag list :

@diazbuckleysworld @felicitous-one @gxtop @cherishingstydia @translucent-bisexual @profangirl1999 @zola9612 @impossiblealice @sergeant-barnes-and-his-captain @meloingly @shipping-queen @my-name-i-we @reecedaddario @fyeahhipsterdoctor @evan-diaz-buckley @duckcollectorus @graciemma16 @snorlaxishere @fandomfullofgayness

Words count : 1306

Song : Don’t Forget about me - Cloves

—-————————————————-

He knew there were a baby in him, knew that Eddie and him created a new life, a new person, a new soul but the reality of the situation didn’t really hit him until that famous Monday, until he had to lie to Bobby and call sick to get his first ultrasound.

—————————————

He never felt more alone than now, in his obstetrician waiting room surrounded by families and couples, surrounded by people having one another’s back...

They were a time where Eddie used to have his, but it was over now, since that famous night something changed in their dynamic, as if Eddie was discretely trying to distance himself from Buck, as if he regretted meeting him...

He had learned to accept it though, mend his broken heart and acknowledged the fact that he would never be it for him, Eddie would never need him like Buck had needed him, never choose him like he had choose him, never love him like he loved him...

He was coming to term with it when the secretary finally called his name, he could feel the pitying looks of people when he rose from his chair, hear the whispers, the critics, it was deepening the wound in his heart.

-Mr Buckley, the secretary called again seeing as he stopped midway, Dr Stevens is waiting for you, she smiled kindly, leading the way...

———————————-—

The room wasn’t dark as he pictured it, it wasn’t cold either, the walls were painted with different shades of yellow and covered with kids drawing, he couldn’t help but chuckles at some of them.

Doctor Stevens was setting the material for his ultrasound letting him time to mentally prepare himself, everything would be real after it, it won’t be suspicions, it won’t be a false alarm, today he’ll meet his miracle.

-Whenever you’re ready Evan, she smiled encouragingly

-I’m ready, he stated clearing his throat.

He unbuttoned his pants before lying, he raised his shirt, glancing quickly at the little bump.

-You’ll feel a bit cold but it’s normal, she explained, it’s just the gel ok, she asked, Buck only nodded and winced when she put cold gel on his skin.

She started moving the probe, searching for an image, it lasted two minutes before he started to see something, or more exactly hear something.

Something close to the faint echo of drum, it was a weak sound at first but the more Doctor Stevens moved the probe the more the beating got louder until they could clearly hear it.

Thump...thump... thump...thump... thump...thump.

He could feel himself tear up, he could hear the laugh bubbling out his throat, joy was coursing through his veins, happiness and an unconditional love for this teeny being burned his heart.

-Did you hear that Edd... he laughed looking at his right, before interrupting himself by remembering that Eddie wasn’t there, he would never be there.

Doctor Steven smiled sadly at him, never commenting on it, Buck was thankful for that.

-Do you want me to print you three copies, she demanded squeezing his shoulder.

-If you don’t mind, he smiled forcefully, trying to hide his sadness.

————————-

He couldn’t keep his eyes away from the picture, it was blurry, black and white and he couldn’t really see his child but he knew they were here, he knew it was his baby, his light, his hope, he knew the weird white thing was his and that was enough.

Even if he was glad everything was good for both him and his child, even though meeting them for the first time had been the happiest thing that ever happened to him he couldn’t help but feel saddened by the fact that they were alone, that he’ll never be able to give his child the family he deserved.

——————————

He’d promised Maddie he’d call her after his appointment, she was with him every step of the way after all, he knew she would be happy, thrilled even to learn that everything was alright still he couldn’t help but want to distance himself from everything and everyone right that instant, he wanted to throw himself another pity party; wanted to go home and sleep the day, wanted to numb the loneliness he felt.

Maddie didn’t gave him the choice though, as he was starting his car, his phone started to ring with Maddie’s picture flashing.

-Hey Mads, he answered softly, putting her on speaker.

-Hey yourself, she retorted cheerfully, so how was the first appointment, she quizzed never being one for beating around the bush.

-Everything is fine, he answered mechanically, I’m three months along, he counted, baby is healthy and growing normally, he added, I’ll know what it is in two months, he smiled.

-That’s good, she sighed relieved, everything is ok so why are you so sad Ev, she demanded worry clear in her voice.

Buck frowned of course Maddie would be able to read him even from afar, of course she’ll know that something was bothering him, still he wasn’t sure he wanted to tell her why he was upset.

-Ev, she called, I’m on your side you knows that, she asked, you can tell me I’ll never judge, she reassured him talking with her mom voice.

-I was alone Maddie, Buck told her sadly,

-I’m so sorry Evan I tried to have the day off to be with you, she apologized profusely passing back and forth, next time I’ll be there, she promised.

Buck shook his head laughing sadly, only Maddie would blame herself for something she wasn’t responsible for.

-No Mads, he sighed, I was alone, he insisted.

-Oh, she stated understandingly stopping her passing,

-Yeah oh, Buck chuckled passing a tired hand on his face, they were family there you know, he counted, couple holding hands and rubbing the other back and I was alone, he pursued.

-Evan, Maddie tried before being cut.

-No Mads let me finish, he sighed with a lump in his throat, I was alone and the only thing I could think of when I heard its heartbeat, he smiled drying his tears with the back of his hand, you know when I heard it, he articulated difficultly, I forgot he wasn’t there, when I heard it I turned my head thinking he and Chris were there with me, he laughed tiredly, and I realized that I was alone, his voice was shaky and tears falling freely, I was alone Mads, he whined.

-Evan no, she called, you’re not alone, she frowned passing her hand through her hair, I’m sorry I wasn’t there, she apologized again, I’m sorry He wasn’t there, she pursued before Buck cut her again

-You know it made me realize how foolish I had been all this time, he spoke

-What do you mean, Maddie asked confused,

-When we slept together that night, he counted, I wasn’t that drunk, he avowed, and I don’t think he was either, he breathed, I foolishly thought that maybe just maybe he felt for me what I feel for him, he took a deep breath, and then I woke up alone, they were no notes, he didn’t text, didn’t call and that made me realize that maybe he wasn’t into me, Buck chuckled drily, maybe it was just pity,he whispered, he was drawn to me because of loneliness, because I was there, maybe it never was about feelings, he croaked, if I hadn’t be there maybe it’ll have been someone else, he stated gripping his phone tightly, he...he’ll never love me as I love him Mads, he suffocated.

-Oh Evan, Maddie sobbed, I’m sure it’s not that, she tried, anyone can see how he deeply cares for you, she added softly,

-Then why wasn’t he there, Buck asked finally breaking down, why wasn’t he there when I woke up Maddie, he cried.

—

Maddie never felt so powerless in her life, after hanging up with her brother she stayed on the break room for ten more minutes, she wanted to be there for him to support him, but she knew, deep down she knew she wasn’t what Evan needed.

She sighed deeply looking at her phone screen, looking at the contact page that was open, debating with herself wether she should press call or not, it wasn’t her secret to share, yet she couldn’t help wanting her brother happiness, closing her eyes she raised her finger deciding to let destiny decide if she was going to call Eddie or not.

[builder051]

I’m just a ghost running scared (a Natasha/Bruce sickfic)

Thank you for your votes and suggestions.  For the question of who you’d rather see get whumped, Bruce won, though it was a close call. (Writing his POV also saves me from having to describe the Hulk, since he doesn’t remember the episodes…)

There’s a bit of Nat anxiety in here too (thanks @plotmatsu for the tip), but it doesn’t rate as angst at all.

To the anon who suggested some teasing from Tony and Clint: Sorry, that didn’t make it into this one (it was getting longer than I wanted it to be), but I’m sold on the idea being part of my headcanon.

I’m going to add these guys (and their ship) to my repertoire for Heroverse.  I’ll post an updated “What I’ll write” list when I open my askbox (soon, I promise), since I’ve been making some changes.

This is roughly canon and set before Age of Ultron.  Also kind of long.  And kind of a fluff monster.

_____

Since moving into the tower, Bruce has been hesitant to set foot in the gym.  He went in once to walk a few miles on the treadmill, but the sight and sounds of Captain America battling a punching bag and Tony boxing with Happy at opposite ends of the large room had made him anxious.  Since then, he’s taken his walks in Central Park instead.

It’s alright, since he doesn’t need to train in order to have strength in battle.  And he gets plenty of time to bond with the team over pancake breakfasts and movie nights.  Bruce spends most of his free time alone, either working in his lab or reading or meditating in his room.  Things are quiet and predictable.  And that’s how he likes them.

So when Nat knocks on his door one morning and asks if he’d like to play at capoeira with her, he has no idea why he says yes.

They warm up awkwardly, stretching and shifting foot to foot on the mat, a few yards of empty space between them.  Bruce assumes Nat will tell him when she wants to really get started, but every time he sneaks a glance at her, she drops her gaze to the floor.

Is she shy? Bruce wonders.  I’m shy.  Black Widow can’t be shy.

“Alright, so, you know how to do this?” Nat finally asks.  She stands perfectly balanced on one foot as she holds the other behind her and stretches her quad.

Bruce nods.  “The basics, yeah,” He says.  “But mostly from, you know, reading about it.”

“Mm.”  Nat gives a sly smile.  “Well, it’s a little different in practice.”  She drops her foot and assumes a low stance.  “Don’t worry.  I’ll go easy on you.”

“What?  You don’t…  I can…”  Bruce can barely wrap his tongue around the words.  He doesn’t have a competitive spirit.  He should be grateful she’s not intent on taking him down.  But something makes him speak up.

“I’ll go easy on you…at first,” Nat amends.  She taps her palm against the outside of her thigh, starting a slow beat.  “I don’t have any music, but is this ok?”

She’s asking about the tempo.  To which the answer is yes, it’s fine.  The way the fabric of her leggings ripples slightly after each strike is fine too.

“Mm-hm.”  Bruce nods and forces himself to look into Nat’s face.

“Good.”  She keeps up the percussion and starts moving her feet in a measured pattern, swooping her torso and eventually raising her arms to chest height.  Bruce mirrors her.

They move through the ginga for a few moments, until the rhythm of the steps feels natural.  “Ok, ready?” Nat asks.

“Yeah.”

The word is barely out of Bruce’s mouth when Nat feints at him, causing him to scoot back several feet.  His heart hammers as if he’s witnessed a jump-scare.  He takes a breath and slides back to his original position, feeling stupid.

“You’ll be ok, even if you get hit,” Nat says, jabbing toward him again, this time with her elbow.

“Yeah, I know.”  He’s not worried about hits, though the instinctual fear of being struck is part of what’s raising his blood pressure.  He needs to calm down.  “I’m more worried about you.”

Nat rolls her eyes.  “I’ll be ok if you hit me.”  She aims a kick at Bruce’s knee.

“Jesus Christ,” he mutters, quickly sidestepping.  “That’s not what I meant.  If I turn into, you know, the other guy…”

“You know this room is engineered to withstand any damage ‘the other guy’ can do, right?”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I want to transform and damage stuff.”  Bruce initiates a swipe toward Nat’s knee, and she easily dodges.

“If you want to train as you, or if you want to train as him, it’s fine,” Nat says, parrying Bruce’s attack with a punch to his ribs, which lands. The impact isn’t too hard, but it still smarts.

Nat pauses, her fist still against Bruce’s side.  She cocks her head.  “Whatever you choose, you need to train a little harder.”

Bruce’s irritation rises toward anger.  He aims a kick at Nat’s calf, barely brushing her as she leaps backward.  

Breathe.  Cam down, he tells himself.  Don’t get mad.  A halo of green shimmers around his peripheral vision.

“You can turn,” Nat says.  “I’m not gonna get mad.”

Breathe.  Breathe.

“I don’t fucking want to turn!” Bruce explodes.

And that does it.  He swings his fist toward Nat, and he feels himself expand, bursting out of the confines of his t-shirt as pure rage fills his mind.

***

“Banner.  Hey.”

Someone taps his cheek.

“Bruce?”  The voice sounds familiar, but it’s filtered as if it’s coming from the end of a tunnel.

His head aches.  Bruce peels his eyes open and struggles to blink away the blur that still holds tinges of green.

Shit.  Where is he?  What was he doing?

A face framed with red hair swims into view above him.  “Hey.  You ok?” Nat asks.

“Ugh,” Bruce scrubs the heel of his hand over his eyes.  Sweat drips down his temples toward his ears.  He wishes he could answer with a confident yes and disappear into his room, but he doesn’t trust himself to sit up yet.  He hopes his gym shorts survived the transformation.

“Do you need me to get someone?  Are you hurt, d’you think?”  Nat clasps his shoulder.

“I’m ok,” Bruce croaks.  His voice breaks with the effort.  Sick clamminess creeps over his body as nausea begins to well up in his chest.

Nat still looks concerned.

“Did I do anything?  Did I hurt you?” Bruce asks.

“No, no, everything’s fine,” Nat says hurriedly.  “But just, are you ok?  You don’t look good.”

“Well thanks.”

“I’m serious.  Did it go wrong or something?  You’re not supposed to be in so much pain…”  Nat squeezes his arm tighter, then seems to check herself.  “Sorry,” she mutters, loosening her grip.

“This is normal,” Bruce groans.  He shoves himself up on one elbow and pauses for equilibrium to catch up.

It doesn’t.  He’s silently grateful for Nat’s touch.  It assures him the world isn’t actually tipping beneath him.

“It can’t be,” Nat says.  “You look really sick.  I’ve never seen you like this before…”

“That’s because—”  Bruce pauses to swallow thickly.  “I usually try to be alone while I, uh, recover…”

“You shouldn’t have to.”

It’s a sweet sentiment, but Bruce has to turn toward his shoulder as he quells a queasy belch.

“You really don’t look good,” Nat says, biting her lip.

“I really don’t feel good,” Bruce admits.  “But it’s normal, I promise.  Being the other guy takes a lot of energy.  It leaves me kinda…wiped out.”

“This is just, like, low blood sugar?”  She stares at him in disbelief.

Bruce nods and shrugs.  “You try having every cell in your body reconfigure itself twice over…”  He finally gets himself to a seated position, but vertigo still threatens to down him.  He bows forward with his head between his knees.  “Sorry,” he mutters.

“No, it’s no problem,” she says.  “What helps it?”

“Time, I guess?  Gatorade?” Bruce says to the floor.

“Something to eat, maybe?” Nat suggests.

“Eh, I don’t know.”  He’s too nauseated to think about eating.  Even fluids seem questionable at this point.

“Maybe some crackers?  Or ginger ale?  Something to settle your stomach.”

“I’m ok,” Bruce insists.  “You don’t have to, like, wait on me or anything.”

“I’m not gonna leave you to suffer either,” Nat says, “Despite my reputation.”

Bruce lets out his breath.

“I’ll be right back, ok?”  Nat pats his shoulder and gets to her feet.

***

The shakiness fades while Nat’s gone, but the urge to throw up doesn’t.  Eventually the nausea rises into a flow of saliva over Bruce’s back teeth, and he scrambles to his feet to dash into the bathroom.  The sink is closer, and the prospect of changing altitude to kneel in front of the toilet makes him feel like passing out.

Bruce gags harshly over the basin.  He can’t remember how long ago he had breakfast or even what he ate.  He grips the edge of the counter with white knuckles as a surge of sour bile splashes up.

“Banner?” Nat calls from the gym.

“Shit,” Bruce mutters.  She probably thinks he’s up and vanished.  He retches again, and the sound betrays his location.

“Oh.”  There’s a crinkling sound as Nat sets her provisions on the floor, then she appears at his elbow.

Bruce cringes.  “Sorry,” he breathes.  She shouldn’t be here, seeing him like this.  It’s gross.  It’s crossing a line.  “You can…go.”

“No,” Nat says.  She pats him on the back.  “I don’t want to leave you alone like this.”

“Like I said,” Bruce pants, spitting out strings of mucous and bile, “It’s normal.  I mean, I don’t always get sick, but, you know…  I can…take care of myself.”

“You can,” Nat acquiesces.  “But I’m still not gonna leave.”

“Jesus Christ.”  Bruce shakes his head.  He ignores the reverberating pain behind his forehead and turns on the faucet.  He splashes his face, and icy droplets run down his neck and bare chest.

Nat hands him a towel.  “There you go,” she whispers with a sympathetic smile.

“Ah.  Yeah.”  Bruce isn’t sure why he doesn’t just say thanks.

“Do you want something to drink?” Nat asks.  “I brought…”  She gestures to what looks like half the pantry in a pile beside the door.  There’s water, ginger ale, and Gatorade in three different flavors, plus a few packages of crackers.

“Not really,” Bruce says into the towel.  “I mean…not yet.  That’s…a lot.”

“I thought maybe you’d need to refuel.”

“Yeah, in, like a few hours maybe?”  A tremor of exhaustion plays through Bruce’s arms and legs, but the queasiness hasn’t faded yet.  “I’m still…ugh.”  He shakes his head.

“Is there something else I can do?”  Nat reaches out awkwardly.

“Naw.  I should probably lie down.  Then think about, like, slowly sipping some water.  Balancing electrolytes.”

“I can take this stuff up to your room,” Nat offers.  She bends to scoop up the bottles and boxes.

“I didn’t have you pegged for one to be so helpful,” Bruce says, abandoning the towel on the counter.

“Like I said.  I don’t always live up to my reputation.”

"Yeah...”  Bruce sighs vaguely.

“I’ll keep reminding you,” Nat says, swatting his arm with a bag of Goldfish crackers.

“Sure.”

***

Bruce sleeps for five hours.  When he wakes, groggy and still suffering a headache, he swallows 20 ounces of Gatorade in one gulp.  He reaches for his phone, hoping he hasn’t missed anything important.

He swipes away the usual news updates, then pauses when he comes to a text message.

Nat: Let me know when you’re ready to refuel.  There’s a place around the corner that makes the best meatball sandwiches.  I’m buying.

Bruce lets out his breath in nervous apprehension.  Then he stumbles out of bed to find a shirt.