#i hope theres leftovers

[aro-ortega]

thinking about cal gaining weight bc he has enough to eat for once in his life <3

[vanillabat99]

I slept okay last night!! Called my girlfriend for awhile and it helped a lot :3 Unfortunately, I woke up at 7AM, so I'm not too happy about that, otherwise I'm doing okay!! I have couple little things to do today but I think I'm gonna just play video games after :3

[sillystrawvial]

im worried im being too mean to daishoe

[pettyprocrastination]

God i forgot how much I fucking love bookstores

[yunogf]

I still not over jaehyun told that one nctzen pretty. now he kiss... with another women... 🚬

[sillyandquiteawkward]

sillys (not so) lil info dump about how to be a human being. smiles

htbahb is an album from glass animals, of which notably, all the songs align with different people's lives, perspectives, and feelings, also of which are shown on the (various) album covers. so the easiest way to go thru the story is song by song. but i will show you the album art so you can get a gist of things before we go into details.

these are just some of the various album covers for htbahb, theres a bunch of them, but we dont need to see all of them to see the different lives of our characters.

1, Life Itself

this is our main character for life itself. you can call him a bit of a nerd if youd like. apparently his name is chuck rogers. they dont all have names.

hes an inventor, loves ray guns and strange technology, but as noted in his song, feels like he was raised with expectations hell never be able to achieve. his father as a child said he would be a superstar, but nowadays, he cant get a job and he lives with his mom. hes struggling with finding himself and his place in society and hes doing drugs and feeling like hes absolute rock bottom with everyone being against him. he feels alone and attacked and retreats back into his car or grandmothers basement and keeps folding back into himself.

in the music video for life itself, hes only seen in a few scenes, leading the charge against [popular st] with a smoke bomb as [mamas gun] watches knowingly from the sidelines as perhaps the real leader behind the assault. they seems to be accomplices with each other, as they ride in the car together and seem to be specifically looking for [youth].

2. Youth

now the main character for youth is tricky, it seems like we have two characters for youth, the small child, and assumedly, his mother the waitress. i think i like the interpretation that the mother is the main character for this song, and the child represents the album as a whole. alternatively i also like the idea that the child is youth, and his mother represents [premade sandwiches]. but for the most part, they are just both the characters for youth.

youth is a mother talking about her child, and to her child, almost in a detached sort of way as if they arent able to see each other. a mother speaking her hopes and dreams to her child. somehow these two have been separated when the child was young, perhaps through giving up to adoption, or hinted in the music video, abduction. she wishes best for the child, urges them to feel their mother at their side, and notes that theyve got her eyes. she lists off her wishes for them to be happy and have friends, and be silly. this perhaps is for the best, that they can be happy even without her. i particularly like in this song, the wordplay makes it sound like the singer is counting one, two, three, four, five, when they are singing other words like boy, to, free, funny, and fly respectively.

in the music video for youth, the child is seen almost haunting the mother as she works as a waiter, appearing in several locations playing and running around as she remains dutiful to her job. they briefly sit looking at each other in the same hotel room he had been taken to in life itself's music video.

3. Season 2 Episode 3

this is the main character for season 2 ep 3 and i think one of the cool changes between album covers, as we see a fully done up girl all put together with her make up on, and in the other, someone a bit more silly with her makeup removed. this might be the way she sees herself vs how other people see her.

the song is the lament of a boyfriend to his girlfriend, who seems to be glued to the couch, watching shows, getting high, not changing her clothes, and eating day old leftover food and most notably, mayonnaise straight from the jar. at the beginning of the song, the two of them are high together, however he soon sobers and realizes she refuses to get sober along with him. he tries to convince her that their relationship wont work if she keeps being like this and doesnt try, but she wants him back the way he was (high as well) and views him as a nag. she still makes him happy, but sometimes she makes him sad to see how she lives. even after an acceptance from the boyfriend that she wont change and will never be vertical and golden like he wants and that the relationship will never work out, the song ends hinting that hes picked up getting high with her again due to her calling him a killjoy and wearing him down.

in the music video we watch the girl splay out on the sofa, surrounded by her mess watching tv and doing nothing. halfway into the video, we are brought into the game she plays, as she battles [life itself] [cane shuga] and [the other side of paradise], all of which are men who could possibly be the boyfriend figure.

4. Pork Soda

this is our main character for everyones favorite pork soda. hes an older man, who for the most part seems pretty happy. wonder if hes harboring some long lost feelings or something.

the song opens with a street performance unintelligible to a normal listener, its like passing by a conversation, you are only able to hear bits and pieces of the spoken words. once the song starts you hear a story about this guy's girl who used to be fun and adventurous and would take him along with her. in the same breathe hes begging to go back to the days they were happy together. it seems like they fell out of love, or are in a struggling relationship bereft of communication or the passion it once had. shes only happy when theyre having sex together, and just looking at each other causes him heartache. the song talks about pineapples in my head, and being brain dead, as well as other references to diminishing mental facilities, that perhaps in their age, theyd forgotten about each other.

the music video gives us probably the most clear story line, as we see the wife prepare a meal before sending it through a dumbwaiter into the basement for the husband. there he sits alone, watching tv. up above the wife plays with their dog, imagining the dog is the younger version of her husband. all of her time is dedicated to the dog, and all of his time is dedicated to the tv. they have forgotten they love each other and live in the same house, but live in separate worlds. only after the dog destroys his tv and the husband destroys the floor above him and under her feet, do they finally get back together as he catches her as she falls, surprised and exhilarated for the first time in forever. and things seem to be better as they finally occupy the same room together again.

5. Mama's Gun

This is the main character for mamas gun. shes a victim of the perception of her mental illness. i think this is my fav song of the album.

during the song, the woman initially admits that she took her gun and made her husband go to neverland. however she also says she loved him a lot and he was perfect. through bits and pieces of the lyrics you can come to the conclusion that she has some sort of psychosis, or perhaps schizophrenia in particular as she notes many different voices and figures talking to her. the song references dr swango, a doctor who killed his patients, however he insists to her that him and all the other voices in her head are too from neverland, and that she was a murderer just like him. is she really guilty of murder? what really happened? the flute played during various instrumental parts of the song is a sample from the carpenter's mr. guder, a song about a man who does what hes supposed to in society and his job and gets nothing from it. karen carpenter herself was a victim of her own mental illness and they say that theres a specific purpose for the sample chosen. once the lyrics pick back up, the voices again pipe up and tell her she was a murderer, even the voice who had never spoken says so, so he must be telling the truth right? during the final bit of the song, it seems like her husbands voice joins into her collection of voices, as he bears a cheshire smile and asks her to lay with him once again, and that hes waiting for her. in the end, its unclear what happened with her and her husband, as she goes back and forth saying she was violent, she was doing nothing. this song was inspired by a story they heard of a woman going into a drug induced black out for a month and reappearing in another state with no memory, and the lingering fear that shes done something terrible wrong, and never being able to have the closure of knowing what happened.

theres no music video for this song, but we see her appear in life itself. she and [life itself] drive to the hotel where [poplar st] is holding [youth] captive and attempt to break into the room hes in.

6. Cane Shuga

this is our main character for cane shuga. hes exactly how he seems, a rich white guy who is, of course, using that cane shuga all day everyday.

cane shuga presents a dialogue from two parties, two people in a relationship. the singer promises he wont do coke anymore, that he wont be a john doe in the hospital. the chorus however is the high he rides on, where he thinks hes hot shit, hes 007 james bond, hes as powerful as kim jong, with a popped collar as he looks into the glare of the mirror and hypes himself up after using in the bathroom at work. hes untouchable. the second chorus is his partner, giving up on him, their love has burned up, just like his drugs. theres a humorous line of putting their foot down saying ive had quite enough, but corrects themself and sarcastically says or lack there of, that they arent being given anything anymore by him. regardless, their verses and conversation is short. the chorus of his high is the main focus of the song, and repeat over and over as the days continue.

[cane shuga] appears in season 2 ep 3's music video as [season 2 episode 3]'s potential lover. their stories do seem to entangle, they both are drug users dealing with partners who want to stop using. some people say that he is her partner, that he stops using for her, but falls back into the habit. however this doesnt exactly line up with her song, as she doesnt want him to stop. i think its part of that unreliable narrator theme weve seen in previous songs. people have different experiences with each other and get different messages due to the issue of communication. im not exactly on board with these two being together, but i do understand where people are coming from with this take.

7. [Premade Sandwiches]

this is a spoken word interlude, sped up and pitched down. there doesnt seem to be a character paired with this song, and on cd this song is simply a bonus track hidden behind cane shuga. on first listening its very difficult to catch what is being said, but over and over the speaker is talking about standing in line for various things. this song discusses mindless over consumption of drugs, of buzz words, of natural foods for your dog, watches, new clothes made to look old, the junk drawer filled with phones you dont use, with pens that dont work, with random shit you never needed just piling up. people stand in line and they dont even know why.

8. The Other Side Of Paradise

this is our main character for the other side. hes gonna be a basketball player and make it big babyeee.

so its a bit unclear and vague in the lyrics, but it seems our narrator and the basketball player used to be close friends. he even seems to be in love with the basketball player, calling him my love. but the basketball player leaves their home in new orleans to go chase his dreams out west and make it big, leaving our narrator's side. he told the narrator not to worry but after phone calls, it seems like basketball boy got a girlfriend. hes gloating to the narrator, hes got a girlfriend now, hes got a gold camaro, hes made it big, meanwhile our narrator is at the payphone hearing all this and his world turns in slow motion. no longer is the basketball player his baby blue anymore. hes moved on, hell never have another chance to love his friend. hes so angry and hurt, but he balls up his fist almost in a fight or flight reaction, and settles for the ghost of his love. hed always hoped for a paradise where they could be together but it seems like fate had other plans. he laments the basketball player for ditching them, saying here in new orleans people dont leave and ditch their lady (him). he wants to be loved and pampered by him, not her. heres where the vagueness comes back, the narrator seems to be so distraught that he rather kills himself, or finds that his body looks wrong, perhaps that hes not a girl that couldve been loved by the basketball player.

he only ever appears in the music video for season 2 ep 3 as one of the bosses [season 2 episode 3] defeats, claiming ball is life. there is a music video that was recently released for this song, however it does not depict the basketball player.

9. Take a Slice

this is our main character for take a slice, hes a bit of a slut but he makes it work :) the spoken intro to this song is the real recording the band took while talking to a male fortune teller, so the sausage candle is rather real or a lie from the fortune teller.

take a slice regales the story of a young man who finds pleasures in the sultry sexual aspects of life. hes sucking on cigarettes in a way freud would roll in his grave, hes painted his nails dark, has piercings, hes asking for another slice of cherry pie, cherries being a symbol for all things sex and lust. hes smitten with the idea of being a prize to be sought after, and after trying sex work for the first time, realizes this is the job for him. hes going to fuck his way through college, and sleep during class dreaming of you. wink. hes rolling in the dough, hes got a gold car, hes maybe dabbling in drugs too, and hes filthy and he loves it.

10. Poplar St

ms moore is the main character of poplar st, and shes a cougar, and not the good kind.

a young boy lives a typical suburban life. hes got bandaids on his knees and hes climbing trees. but one day, he sees mrs moore and mr keats have sex. immediately this drags him out of his childhood, hes such a man now that he knows what sex is. this is the first step of her grasp around him. as he gets a bit older, his mother calls her prosti-tits and looks down upon her. but the boy looks up to ms moore, despite his mothers words. mrs moore sees his desperation and pulls him into her clutches. theres a very specific voice crack when her teeth sink in deep and the note hes singing falls flat. this bit of pain expressed is highly contrasted with the chorus coming back in, the boy once again considers himself a real man, a true romantic, this is what all men dream of, isnt it? but there are dead flowers in the sand, hinting that these roses arent just romantic. the next bridge plays and interesting word switch up. it starts out with her begging him for more as she sits in her underwear, and then switches to him begging her for more in his underwear. theyve both wasted their days, but when it comes to his youth and her age, the only one wasting their childhood is him. the song concludes with mrs moore calling him up collect (so he has to pay for the phone call, not her) one day and breaking up with him. and then it all gets pulled out from under him and hes just a boy again. this tells the sad tale of how men and boys' sexual assault and grooming often is pushed to the side because they think this is how things are supposed to go, that they are supposed to have sex and to be used and abused from a woman is supposed to be an achievement. but really all it is, is abuse that leaves him feeling terrible.

11. Agnes

this is agnes :) i think it was mentioned at some point that he takes pictures of people when they arent looking, so to me, i like to think hes the one capturing everyone pictured in this album. bear witness to other humans.

the song starts out where the singer is appearing to try and comfort agnes. how did it get this bad, agnes used to just take pills and smoke a little, somethings changed perhaps. the singer notes agnes is just going through the motions every day, numb, and nervous, but hes swelling with emotion all the same. here the singer laments he wants to hold agnes like hes mine. theres a longing sadness in the lyrics. the next verse confirms the worst, while agnes was perhaps a genius when it came to the romantic, he was a deeply depressed and lonely person. he started to rely on the drugs and the alcohol he used to use recreationally, just to live a normal life. and he ultimately commited suicide. the singer wonders where the agnes he used to know went. however the singer reconsiders, and accepts that agnes did his best, life must feel so unbearably long when its soaked in sadness, living a false life filled with depression. so it goes, the singer thinks, but cant help but to feel lost. the only thing he can think of is agnes, perhaps considering all the art agnes made, all the photos he took of other people, perhaps just thinking about his friend in any aspect. grief is funny like that. on the vinyl record, this song's last seconds repeat over and over until you stop the machine from playing, like a lingering memory you cant stop thinking about.

the agnes music video is much different than the others, as it focuses on the singer, dave bayley as he sits in a centrifuge and attempts to sing the song. this causes a very physical reaction and he struggles to even lift his hand, by the end of it hes sweating profusely and unable to catch his breath, but he persists and continues singing. he mentions this was a mere fraction of what someone going through depression could feel like. during the music video as well, he appears to be looking across from a mannequin, perhaps the stand in for himself once hes put himself in agnes' shoes.

thanks for reading if you did i love being insane. all of these are my personal thoughts on the album, and might not exactly match up with your interpretation, but i have tried to keep to what we believe is what glass animals had in mind for the album and these characters.

[gatorbites-imagines]

may I request Scott McCall x male reader smut where Scott a bottom I have not found a fic where scott is a bottom anywhere and I love to see more support for this fandom pls

Scott McCall x male reader

Ficlet

Scott has always had a special part in my heart ever since I watched Teen Wolf years ago. You are so right about the lack of bottom Scott content, so I hope this helps scratch that itch a little bit.

Reader is a kanima-wolf combo, like Jackson, cuz I love the kanima plot. did someone say tailplay? cuz theres tailplay.

I had a lot of fun writing this ngl, hope you guys enjoy.

Scotts claws dug deep groves into the floor, a high-pitched whine leaving him as the powerful flexible muscle of your tail curled around his middle, dragging him closer to where you were crouched near the shadowed corner of the room.

The day had been spent high strung on your part, as Scott had seemed to make it his mission to tease you. From sultry looks as he bit his lip, or the way he would push his scent at you specifically to leave you agitated. He seemed to take it as a win when he caught your tongue flicking out between your lips, tasting the air as your leftover reptilian instincts demanded of you.

You had been a kanima when you were bitten, around the same time as Jackson. It stemmed from similar issues to Jackson, something deep and emotional that left you feeling like you weren’t in control of yourself. You had to live up to very high expectations set by your parents, who were very strict about everything you did, also making it impossible for you to accept your sexuality at the time.

But with the help of the pack, you came to accept yourself, and like Jackson, you turned into something more of a hybrid, a mixture of a kanima and a werewolf. Unlike Jackson, you always fell more back onto your reptilian urges than the wolf urges, which was why you were now hissing softly as your slitted eyes bore into the naked back of your lover as you dragged him towards you.

With a flick of your tongue, you could taste the strong arousal in the bedroom, Scott’s bedroom, the faint scent of precum reaching your heightened senses. With a rumbled hiss, you wrench down the pajama pants Scott had been wearing, striking your lightly scaled hand across his naked ass. “You’re so dirty Scott, you were waiting for me, huh?” you hiss, squinting up at him as he looks at you over his shoulder, a slight squint to his eyes that told you that your guess had been correct.

Your tail released his middle as he laid out flat across the floor, lifting his hips just enough for you to pull his pants all the way down and off without tearing them. A whimper left him as your claws ran across his thick thighs, groping the muscle underneath with an appreciative hiss. “So needy” you mumble, digging your thumbs into the dimples of his back, making him keen breathlessly.

Your pupils shrank into slits as you watched how his muscles tensed, his back arching so beautifully as Scott shuffled his knees apart, trying to fit your torso between them as you scraped your sharp teeth across his lower back. The threat of your venom had only ever served to arouse him further, the possibility of being completely paralyzed sending a bolt of thrill and lust through your lover’s entire body.

It was something you had only experimented with once or twice, when you both had felt a little more in control of your more beastly half. But as of now, your tail lashed out, knocking something random off a shelf in the background. Scotts softly glowing eyes met yours as he looked back at you again, audibly gulping and whining softly, almost beckoning you to touch him more.

Spreading his cheeks apart, your tongue started to roll out of your mouth, ready to slither inside him to spread him open the way you knew he loved the most, until you saw the familiar shiny sheen across his pucker. “Did you prep yourself Scott?” you asked with a slight lisp, your longer than humanly possible tongue still hanging out of your mouth.

Instead of answering, Scott simply blushed and buried his head into his folded arms, his knees shuffling to allow him to lift his hips farther, giving you all the answer you needed. Instead of teasing him further, you crawled up his body, letting your torso drag across his back until your chest was pressed against his back, chin hooked on his shoulder.

Your tail coiled around one of his thighs, far up enough that part of your warm scales brushed around his pouch, making him twitch and moan, eyes fluttering shut at the feeling of smooth scales against his skin. “You’ve always been such a freak Scott, never imagined you’d be so turned on by scales” you snicker, tone teasing but also thick with want, half hissed as your tongue felt too long for your mouth.

“Maybe I should just fuck you with my tail instead, what do you say?” you murmur into his ear, the tip of your tail just barely pressing against his slick pucker, making Scotts hips flex as his jaw drops in a soundless moan. You knew it was a fantasy of his, you bet hed even let him fuck him when you were still just a kanima, ruled by a master and mind not your own.

You had seen his search history, you knew the kind of stuff he was into, and if that just so happened to always involve a lot of stuff that was similar to your anatomy? Who would have to know but you, Scott, and God.

The tip of your tail just barely pressed inside, your tongue reptilian tongue pressing against his pulse point as Scott moaned, head falling to the side to give you as much access to his throat as possible. It was an extremely submissive pose for a true alpha like Scott, but it always served to make you feel a deep feral rush, to somehow get someone like Scott under you and writhing.

But before your tail could breach the loosened ring of his hole, you pulled it back, doing your best to ignore the whined out “no, no, please” from Scott. Instead, you reached down and undid your belt, quickly releasing your hard length and letting it rest between the globes of his ass, rolling your hips against his to let him feel it.

“Next time, my cute little alpha” you tease, your sharp teeth scraping hard enough against his shoulder to make blood bead up at the bites, but they quickly healed over, only giving you a slight taste. “Please, please, please” Scott whimpered, sounding almost near tears. Its seems you hadn’t been the only one worked up all day, as Scott almost outright panted for your touch, your cock, your tail, anything.

You swore you could see him drooling as you finally press inside him, his hips shoving back against yours hard enough, that if you weren’t holding him still, he would have impaled himself onto your dick almost immediately. A slight warning hiss-growl left you, as if warning him to stay still. A rumble left him in response, his inner alpha seemingly feeling disrespected by your display, even as Scott arched and moaned for more.

Scott was only given a moment to adjust, just how he liked it, before you started moving your hips. A clawed slightly scaled hand was placed between his shoulder blades, shoving his face harder against the floor as your hips struck against his own, his noises rising in volume and neediness.

Scotts claws ached as they dug into the floor, his fangs flashing as his jaw dropped, open mouthed gasps and moans leaving him as the noises were punched out of him, tongue almost hanging out as drool ran down his chin.

As you struck his prostate, he almost wailed, but before that noise could leave him, the tip of your tail was shoved between his teeth, pressing down against his tongue, and tickling the back of Scotts throat, only making his eyes roll back as he groaned.

Your noises were akin to chuffing as your hips slammed against his, claws digging into Scotts back and hip hard enough to draw blood as venom filled drool dripping from your mouth and down into the divot of his spine. Scott gagged as your tail shoved deeper into his mouth, part of it pushing down his throat as he moaned and sucked on it like it was your cock, spit and drool running down his chin and creating a puddle under him.

There was no way for him to beg with words for you to go faster, but Scott was able to wrench one of his hands from the floor, reaching back to hold onto your hip, urging you to go faster, deeper, harder. So, with a deep hissed growl, you did, striking his sensitive prostate with the precision of an expert, making him keen around the scaley meat of your tail.

You weren’t even sure when Scott came, his cock squirting across the floor in thick white spurts, his eyes rolling back as the euphoria crashed through his body and making him tighten around you. But you were too consumed by your own pleasure, hisses and growls leaving you as you kept pounding into him, taking great pleasure in the wet slick noise of your hips meeting his ass, and how it left him moaning and crying out for more.

When you finally reached your end, you crushed your hips against his, your sharp teeth digging into his shoulder as you came, cumming deep inside him in the way you knew he loved as it made him feel so full of you. Your tail withdrew from his mouth with a wet sputter, strings of drool hanging from the deep green scaled to his pink wet mouth, a noise so high pitched you barely heard it as he came a second time.

Purring filled the room as you held Scott, grinding lazily into him as you milked your mutual orgasms as much as possible, before Scott finally slumped, completely limp and panting. You would think you had injected him with your venom with how limp he went, but in reality, it was just the post orgasm bliss.

With a soft kiss pressed against the already healing bite, you carefully pull you and get Scott to his feet, shuffling him into the bathroom to get him cleaned up, maybe even give him a nice warm shower so you two can be washed up. After getting him dressed in a new part of pajama pants, you tuck him into bed, expertly cleaning up the mess of blood, drool, and other bodily fluids left on the floor. You’ll have to find a way to fix the groves you guys left in the floor, but that was for later.

When all was said and done, you could finally allow yourself to crawl into bed with Scott, the scales on your skin receding for the most part, claws and sharp teeth disappearing to where they came from, and your eyes returning to your usual ones. The only thing that stayed was your tail, which curled around Scott in a loving embrace as you pulled him close to your chest.

Scott let out a soft huff, snuffling closer to your neck before he went limp once more, almost laying completely on top of you, basking in your presence and scent as he felt safe enough to be completely vulnerable, sleep quickly rushing up on him. You didn’t feel tired, so like usual, you laid back and held Scott as he snored softly, one hand rubbing up and down his back as you scrolled your phone with the other. His body heat always left you feeling sluggish afterwards, some kind of reptile reaction, but it made you feel safer to watch over him as he slept, so that it what you did, until Scott was ready to wake up again.

[dawnoftime22]

"...and it just did."

| W.M ( -> N.R)

Undeserving of a Love Like Yours, Chapter 5

Chapter Warnings: A very emotionally packed chapter, relationship problems, cheating, arguing, anxiety, overthinking, andd...just be prepared.

Summary: The truth unfolds itself easily on a special day.

Series Summary: When you're stuck in a complete hole of confusion and hurt with the one you thought you loved most, a certain redhead finds her way into your life.

Word Count: 8.7k (...oops)

Category: Angst.

A/N: this chapter has been eeeeverywhere with me. I wrote it in the car, at work, in my bedroom, and even at a hotel room. but, I hope you all enjoy<3 it's a whole lot, so it was quite difficult to finish, but february's over and I have more free time again!

also theres a playlist for this series out now :] in case you need something to listen to while reading. be careful while scrolling the songs to avoid just bits of teensy spoilers<3

Series Playlist

| Started on 10/01/2024, 12:16 PM |

| Finished on 05/03/2024, 3:45 PM |

Masterlist | Series Masterlist | N.R Masterlist

<- Chapter 4 Chapter 6 ->

"What is there to say?"

|——————————— ᗢ ———————————|

You drag your feet across the wooden floorboards, making your way towards the kitchen. Here it is again, the same routine. But yet this time, you see a sticky note left on the marble counter, illuminated by a dim overhead lighting.

You furrow your eyebrows, but go over to read it anyway, the bright color a big difference to the white counter. 'might not be home until tomorrow,' was written on the piece of paper. Your heart didn't drop as much anymore. Your shoulders only droop a little, as if just a teensy bit more weight had been added.

A quiet breath leaves your mouth. Your hand picks up the sticky note and scraps it up within your palms, throwing it off to a nearby trashcan in the kitchen. Who else needed to read it anyway? It was only for you. Only for you.

You shook your head of the remaining thoughts you had of her, but she couldn't quite leave your mind at least once. Always there. Always lingering. As if you had been cursed. But in honest truth, the only curse you had upon you was the spell of love.

Today was a special day. Key word on the was. Some type of hope swirling in your heart maybe had you looking forward to this day, but all of it had just gone down along with the piece of paper in the trash. Your eyes also flicker to it once more, seeing the many other colored paper sitting scrunched up with the one from just now. At least she had the decency to still leave notes.

But, today was, of course...your birthday. And out of all the people, your favorite person was certainly not present. Maybe she had forgotten, you thought. Maybe she just didn't care enough this year...no, how could she?

You snap yourself out, having stared off at the sunlight shining in through the windows. You go to the fridge to see what was still in there. A bitten sandwich from last night, and some leftover chickens, but your lip forms a line and you close it, your hand dropping off to your pocket to retrieve your phone.

It was currently 9:45 AM, the digits frozen still on the same numbers until the full sixty seconds passes by. Your mind was in a haze, but your stomach was empty and it urged you to find some food. Were you just going to go out by yourself? Your body seemed to stop you from even going to the living room. Take-out was an option, but instead you simply laid your phone down on the counter, it making a small noise, the textures clashing.

You put your head in your hands, covering up your face and sliding your fingers across your skin, your palm cupping your own cheeks as a way to get a grip of yourself.

Your phone came up with a notification of your calendar, getting out with a reminder of your birthday. What great timing. You clear it off your screen and unlock your phone, roaming the apps.

Just as you were about to push yourself off the counter and grab the last of the food in the fridge, your screen changes without you touching anything. The contact name came up with...Carol?

Your face relaxes a bit and your thumb hesitantly goes to pick it up rather than tap on the red button, the ringing going away. The phone goes along with your hand when you put it against your ear.

"Hey Carol." You say casually, trying your best not to sound too questionable, as it wasn't usual that she'd call you. You hear some distinct voices whispering in the background of her side, one sounding like a young kid.

"Hey, just wanted to call and um...check in on you?" Her voice ended up sounding questionable instead, and your face goes into a confused reaction, although a smile growing on your lips. You let out a small chuckle, your eyes roaming the space of the room as you thought of your words.

"'Check in on me?' Come on, you rarely do that." Your hand goes to grab a nearby notebook that's been left on the counter, saved for recipes. "What's up?"

"I just wanted to say happy birthday to you. Maria reminded me and she and Monica got me to...call you." You assume she had a small pause in her sentence because she was looking over at the other two people in the room with her, which was who you had heard earlier.

"That's nice of her. And thank you." The pages of the book was soft against your hands, your fingers tracing and fiddling with some as you smiled softly at the thought of Maria scolding Carol for having forgotten.

"Well that, or, I would probably not have any pancakes for myself right about now." She says, her mouth nearly sounding like it was full. You'd guessed it was.

"Even though you were threatened to wish me, thank you." You add on, laughing gently as you did. There was a page you landed on in the notebook with a cookie recipe. One, specifically where you and Wanda had made together, having shared a wonderful memory that day.

You could feel your heart beat within your chest, the pace going quicker as your eyes looked over the words written on the paper that was accompanied with smiley faces and hearts here and there.

The smile on your face had definitely faltered. You take in a deep breath, letting it out once you let yourself close the book. Carol's voice snaps you back to reality, having remembered you were talking with her.

"I'm kidding, I would've called you up either way. Really though, how are you?" Your teeth sank down on your bottom lip, probably enough to puncture the skin or leave a small mark, but you let it go once you talked.

"I'm...fine. Other than sitting in my house alone not knowing what to do than sulk in bed or contemplating my life choices." With that answer, the blonde definitely knew something wasn't entirely right. She stays quiet for a while, perhaps thinking.

"Do you wanna go out and hang at the bar? We can do some karaoke if you want that as a birthday present." She offers, and the attempt makes you smile weakly. She never really knew what to do for your birthday, not being the type to do birthdays more than just a simple wish to them. But for you, she'd offer to hang out, which is what you love to do most of the time.

"Sorry, but I don't really feel like partying or anything right about now. Well, tempting, but, I just wanna relax." You say quietly, sliding the recipe book back to its original place.

"Okay, then..." Carol trails off as her mind tries to come up with some more ideas. You were about to think she was going to just hang up sooner or later, but then you hear her voice continue with a more interesting take.

"There's the mall." You raise your eyebrows. She couldn't see you with you being over the phone, but she just knew you were probably surprised. And you were.

"And what would we do there?" You ask, your mind unable to conjure up the slightest of an imagination of going to the mall with her in a casual situation.

"Well, we could grab some ice cream, buy some things, go to the arcade, go...I don't know." She suggests, just nearly giving up. She wasn't good at this type of stuff really, she's simply basing it off of the times she and Monica hangs out together. You could at least picture the straight line her mouth forms when she finished her sentence, and you had to resist a laugh.

"Ice cream does sound really good." Your mind opened a little with the simple thought of ice cream. Even though the comfort of your bed and the couch seemed nicer, it's not a lot of times she ends up inviting you to hang out like this anyway.

"The mall it is." The blonde says, and you can hear some clatter over the phone. She had finished her pancakes, you supposed.

"Am I driving or...?" You trail off, fiddling around with your fingers and sliding them against the marble counter, the coldness a difference to the sunlight coming from the window.

"I'll pick you up." You then hear the sound of keys, and you couldn't back out anymore. She was driving to your house to grab you, and it'd be impolite to cancel.

"Okay." You say under a breath, feeling heavier with every second that goes by. The guilt and anxiety was eating you up, but the date on the calendar just next to the recipe book had your mind getting out of the thoughts.

"I'll be there in 10. Please don't be glued to your bed when I arrive," She said, to which you let out a quiet chuckle. You couldn't really tell if it was in a stern way or a soft way, but it definitely pushed you a little more to get up and change your clothes.

"I won't. See you here." You say gently and the end tone sounds out, making you pull your phone away from your ear.

With that decided, you push yourself off the counter, slowly going off to the bedroom. The closet opens easily, revealing the same clothes you see every day. You shuffle through some of the hanged shirts, looking at what to wear.

Soon enough, you pull one out. It easily slides off, brushing against the many other shirts within the closet. Your eyes don't linger on the other ones that weren't yours, and you close the door after grabbing everything else.

Later on, you get finished up with changing your clothes, and now you were only waiting for Carol to arrive. There was something that prickled within your heart, like a roses stem with thorns, a worry that maybe she changed her mind and she actually didn't want to hang out with you. Maybe she was only doing it out of sympathy? But that can't be true. What about all the times she's driven you back home when you got a little too many drinks?

...You take a deep breath and turn away from the wall you were staring off into like it was the abyss. Instead your hands checked that you had everything on you, like your phone, keys, and your watch.

Then, the sound of a car pulling up at the front of the house made you look up, your eyes carefully watching the windows. You see a Nissan outside, and it was obvious it was Carol arriving.

Quickly, you got off the couch while your phone made sound, definitely a text message from her that she's arrived. You open the front door, going outside. Her blonde hair could be seen clearly through the car windows, confirming the person in your head.

You make your way to the car, opening the front passenger door. "Hey," you say gently, going in and and closing the door along with you.

"Hey." your greetings were simple, a usual thing to happen. Carol glanced at you while you buckled in, giving you a small smile before starting to slowly position the car back to the roads.

The car had some old soft rock playing, filling up the quietness. It also had you already moving just a little to the beats, staring out the window as she drove you both to the mall. She's always had good playlists. Sometimes you'd even have an urge to ask her to give you some of her cds.

"So, what are you aiming to steal my money for today?" She jokes after a song, her eyes focused on the roads. You let out a small chuckle, looking over to her.

"I'm not letting you spend your money on me for something that isn't a drink." You shake your head, fiddling around with your fingers in your lap. The blonde notices it when her eyes flicker over to you for a second before returning to the roads.

"It's your birthday, Y/N. You have to have a little fun. Let loose," she says, and you raise an eyebrow, turning your head to her. The last two words were new, at least when it comes out of her mouth.

"Maria's words, not mine." she quickly stated, making a smile grow on your face. You stop fiddling with your fingers and instead intertwine them with each other, your gaze going back to the window.

"Come on, any ideas?" The car stops at a red light, and she looks over to you. You stayed quiet in thought, although nothing much came up. She sees only the side of your head until you made your decision.

"We'll do yours," you say, having unable to think of anything. Your mind was clouded over. Honestly, a part of your body just wanted to lie in bed hopelessly the whole day, but something else pulled you.

"Then it's settled," she nods, the steering wheel turning with her hand as she made a right. You think over her words on the phone call earlier, 'Ice cream, buy some things, arcade', and you start to get just a bit more excited.

"Ice cream first?" You ask, looking to her with hope. She furrows her eyebrows and makes a face to you, and your lip forms a tight line, like a child asking for something and getting scared of the answer.

"Of course ice cream goes first." The car goes forwards once more, the light having turned green. You cheer quietly, and she gently shakes her head at your antics. At least she got you to release the emotional tension you had in your body. Even if just a little.

The rest of the car ride consisted of singing and dancing, the conversations being light. The weight on your shoulders got lifted up just a little bit more. When you were about to arrive and she was going to park, 'Please Mr. Postman' started playing and your face brightened at the intro.

She raised her eyebrows at your quick happiness at the simple song, but smiled and laughed at how fast you got into singing it. Really, it's always been a main song for whenever you hanged out, but it's been so long since she saw you sing it, she got surprised. Soon enough though, she sang with you, the two of you moving in your seats to the words.

When the song ends, she turns off the engine and both of you get out the car. The parking lot wasn't all that filled up, so it was a chance there weren't many people in the mall.

She puts on her cap and walks to the entrance with you behind her, the noise of crows and other birds made sound, echoing from somewhere afar as you made your way to the sliding doors.

The cold air of the mall quickly greeted you like a slap of reality in the face, like waking yourself up with a cold shower after laying in bed for too, too long. A way to make you feel more alive.

The ice cream shop wasn't far, and with how little amount of people were here, the two of you got to go to the counter right when you arrive to order your preferred flavour.

Your eyes watch the ice cream get put on the cone, and you do a little dance when your hand got ahold of it, while Carol was giving her money to the cashier of the total cost.

The cashier smiles at the two of you and says their 'thank you', making you smile back before turning around, Carol easily catching up with you from your slow walking.

The two of you walk and enjoy your ice cream, the coldness definitely making you more free feeling. There were clothing stores, shoe stores, little snack shops, and every other thing you could ever imagine. You passed by each one though, but you did point out some cool looking things here and there to Carol.

Soon enough, you come upon a pet shop and your eyes widen, your lips matching with a smile. You walk towards it, wanting to look at all the animals. Carol had to walk faster so she didn't lose you.

There were parrots, cats, dogs, hamsters, fishes, bunnies, and even some lizards. Your mouth was agape as you stared at some of them, but you walk over to the cats.

"Aw, look!" You point at an orange cat, who's sitting patiently with it's tail smoothly flicking back and forth as it watched people pass by.

Carol was looking at the dogs until you called, making her go over to you to see what you were melted at. As if you hadn't already from the other little animals.

"This one is so cute." You lean forward and capture the attention of the cat, making it stand up and walk closer to you.

Carol's head tilted slightly and her eyes squinted as she inspected the info of the cat. The name, the breed, the date and place of birth... "...Goose. Huh."

"I want to take it home." You blurt out as you let the cat follow your hand around, and its head moves here and there instead of its body. It was a playful cat, a paw going up here and there to reach out to you.

"You should get it if you love it that much." Carol says, with her usual deadpan voice that you honestly find amusing. Although, for this, your face turns deadpanned instead and you stare at her, making her raise your eyebrows at you. It was nearly a staredown.

"Danvers, I cannot take care of a cat...let alone myself." You gesture to the cat, and it looked at you questionably. Your shoulders slump a little at the last words of your sentence, and Carol frowns a little.

"I'm sure it'll be able to help you cope or something." Really, she was thinking in her head of surprising it to you as a birthday present for later tonight when she sends you home.

"Why don't you get it? I think Monica would go crazy." You glance back at her, and she purses her lips, staring at the cat. It was the most vibrant color of all the other cats.

"And Maria would go crazier." She said, turning to you for a second but then going back to the entrance of the shop instead, perhaps making her escape from you flipping the table to her.

"You can convince her." You say, the volume of your voice going up a little considering she's farther away. You take a quick glance back at the cat, hesitating to leave, but going away to catch up to the blonde.

"No, now, we are going to the arcade." You laugh when you hear her stern voice, although something in you knew she had a thought about getting it.

You looked around as you walked, seeing the arcade not far away now, the place lit up by machines and screens. But something caught your eye and made you look twice.

Were you dreaming? Well...having a nightmare? You felt like so. Your body definitely didn't react in a good way. Honestly, your heart felt like you were about to have a heart attack with how fast it was beating.

Carol's hat made shade for her face from the sun coming through the mall's glass roof as she walked. She stops along with you when she noticed, confusion filling her face at the sudden stop.

When she follows your eyes to where you were looking though, immediately her eyes widen and her face was in complete shock just as yours were.

A brunette, green eyes...green jacket...

It couldn't have been.

You look closer on the face, and it was. And her hand was not swinging by itself as she walked.

It wasn't with your hand either, because you were plenty of feet away from her.

It was with someone else. Something in the back of your mind felt like they were familiar, although you couldn't even dare focus on that.

Your whole day-- well, your whole world fell apart right then and there. Just like that.

You can feel your heart beating up to your ears, and it felt like time stopped. And not in the good way. Oh, you wish. You wish it was the time you saw her green eyes staring back at you and the whole world only felt like it held the two of you. But not anymore.

Maybe it was the numbing adrenaline rush of the shock coming through, but you take in a deep breath, ripping your gaze away. You couldn't bare to look at the sight anymore.

You clench your jaw, your hand gripping itself in a fist. Your eyes pooled with tears and Carol looked at you, her own misery at finding out the truth obvious on her face, although she was mostly worried about you.

"You know what? Maybe we can...do this another day." You say, trying your best to not let your voice shake entirely, but it did falter.

"You don't wanna--" She was about to suggest trying to distract yourself with the arcade, but at the same time, nothing could make you feel better after seeing such a thing.

"Just take me home." Your mouth moved quickly and you spoke quietly, your eyes flicking back to the spot where she was walking, but she was out of sights already.

You turn around and walk fast, not wanting to linger anymore. Carol walks with you. There was nothing said as you made your way out and to the car. The lovely sounds of the birds chirping now fell on deaf ears as your legs kept you moving.

The car door opens easily with the pull of your hand, and you get in, but you were careful to not slam the door. Carol gets in after you, and turns on the engine.

Her eyes go over to you. You already had your seatbelt on and had settled in your seat, staring out the window. She was about to say something, but she held her tongue, not wanting to make matters worse.

And what would anyone have to say in this anyway? Your lover left you, replaced you with someone else, and broke your heart. 'It will get better'? The only path to take was to go through the pain and that was it. Until you somehow get back up again.

The music starts up once more, and it didn't make you happy as much anymore. You couldn't even focus on it if you tried. You were trying to blink away the tears and ignore the way your throat was swelling up on the inside.

Carol drives you back home safely, keeping her eyes on you here and there. The ride was quiet other than the music, but it was obvious the tension was high.

There were questions unsaid, many going around in your head, but you didn't wanna trouble her with all of them, and she probably wouldn't know what to answer them with anyway.

Soon enough, you arrive back to your house, and you gently unbuckle your seatbelt. At the corner of your eyes, your tears were starting to seep out, just a little.

Carol makes sure she says something before she regrets just being silent, "Hey," she said quietly, and you look at her, your eyes shining with unshed tears. It was the softest you've heard her voice yet.

"I'm always here, if you need me," she says. She knows it won't be much, but it needed to get out of her head. You nod, and sniffle, trying your best to not cry just yet.

You don't say anything back. If you did, you would've broken right there. Instead, you pull on the car handle and open the door, getting out.

Carol watches you as you leave, and she makes sure you get into your house safely before getting out the driveway.

You close the front door of the house, locking it, and freezing in your tracks, taking in a sharp breath before letting it out as a sigh. You nearly hoped it didn't happen, that you would only do that and just wake up from sleeping right now.

But then you let out a sob and lean back on the closed door. You hide your face in your hands, closing your eyes as you started crying, and your chest wracks with broken sobs.

How could she do such a thing? Did she not love you? Were you simply not enough? Too much? You couldn't stop yourself with the questions roaming your head, overthinking everything as you go. The kindest soul with the warmest heart, now broken into a tiny million pieces just because someone couldn't talk about their feelings. Yet you seem to always find a way to blame yourself for every situation.

Sure, maybe even if she did talk to you, your heart would still break, but would it have felt like this? Would it have felt like your lungs were going to collapse from your cries?

You sniffle, and try your best to steady your breathing, but you couldn't, so you just let it do whatever it wants. You wipe your eyes with your sleeve, but the tears keep flowing, so it barely did much.

Fatiguely, with a heavy body, you made your way to the kitchen. You wanted to go to the bedroom, but it was so far, and everything in there would only make your head spin even more. The couch was a choice, but your eyes linger on that recipe book you had looked through this morning.

Your hand twitches to grab it, but you bite your tongue and instead grip the counter, letting yourself slide down on the kitchen floor. You clutch your legs and curl up. The grip your hands held with the fabric of your jeans were enough to probably rip them.

You still had hiccups leaving your mouth, tears leaving your eyes, and you were definitely about to sob once more. The kitchen tiles blurred from your vision getting clouded with tears.

Your hands clumsily reaches in your pocket to grab your phone, and you somehow made it to your homescreen.

The phone was set down on the floor, your hands shaking as your tears rolled down to your chin and dropped down to stain your shirt.

You look up, trying to gather yourself up, but of course you couldn't. Your body needed to let the emotions out, especially after such a situation.

For a few more long minutes, you sat helplessly on the kitchen floor, your breaths going with their own minds instead of your own. You take a few deep breaths, your legs splayed out in front of you before you sniffle and take one last deep breath.

You sat up a little more properly with the little energy you have, and slide your phone just a bit closer to yourself, your fingers gliding across the screen as you opened your calls app, and hovered your finger over the contact name.

You tap on it, trying your best to recollect yourself before she picks up. Your teeth bites down on your bottom lip, every tone of the calling sound making your heart beat faster.

It ends, and her voice comes through.

"Hello?" There's the soft voice. The gentle, soothing voice that lured you into falling in love.

"Wanda." Your voice nearly faltered, but it kept a little of it's stern tone. Your hand slid down to the kitchen floor, the texture keeping your emotions steady, at least enough for a couple minutes.

"Hey, what's up? Did you see my note?" She asks. She's been lying to your face all this time and you didn't even know it. How blind were you?

"Do you know what day it is today?" You ask, ignoring her own question. You sounded so calm in your own anger you honestly nearly even scared yourself.

"No...what?" She was confused, and you could imagine the innocent act of a face she made.

"It's my birthday." You put simply.

"Oh..." that was all that sounded on the phone, and you knew the call didn't get cut off. She just didn't know what to say.

"I'm sorry I didn't stay Y/N, I...forgot." She says slowly, and it was obvious she was trying to tread her tracks carefully.

"I can come back tonight, I promise." You almost didn't want her to, but you needed to talk it out. You didn't say anything else, not wanting to talk about everything else over the phone.

"Goodbye, Wanda." You whisper, your voice breaking at the end. You were sure she noticed it, but you'd want her to anyway.

You ended the call, tapping on the red button. That wasn't the end of it yet, of course, but for now, your hand only rests on the floor, your body falling limp against the cabinet.

She calls, but you don't hear it. The phone rings, on, and on.

You clench your jaw, tears filling up in your eyes once more. Your hand weakly silences your phone, and for the next couple more minutes, you lay crying, until your throat was dry and your muscles ached from sitting on the floor.

|——————————— ᗢ ———————————|

The sun had gone down by now, and the moon came out of hiding.

You were no longer on the kitchen floor, but you were on the couch, curled up like a cat. You haven't done anything but cry ever since you got home. Only right now, your tears had dried, staining your cheeks

You hear the front door unlock, and you feel it coming, the moment you've been dreading.

The brunette appears from behind the door, closing it as she went in the house. Her eyes roamed the place, and eventually, it lands on you.

She lets out a sigh of relief when she realized you were still here. You let out a heavy sigh as you sat up properly.

She heard it. Even with the distance, the quietness of the room captured it. Her heart beated harder in her chest.

"Y/N, please, I'm sorry." She pleads as she makes her way to the couch, having carelessly kicked her shoes off, leaving one tilted on its side. You haven't even said anything yet, and you almost feel sorry yourself.

"Hey,"-- You were sitting right beside the armrest, so, she leans over and gently puts her hand on your cheek. --"I love you. I'm sorry."

You gently push away her hand, turning to look at her with your jaw clenching. She can see the anger in your eyes and it had her giving you a little space.

"Do you?" You say, your head moving slightly, and she notices the way the corner of your eyes seemed a little red. You weren't even looking at her. That was only the second part of the situation.

"Yes!" She says her eyebrows furrowed. She raises her hands in exaggeration before moving one up to her hair, sliding it back as she let out a breath. "...Why is that difficult to understand?"

"Well, maybe because you didn't even say anything when I said it to you just a few days ago!" Her mouth opens, and you assumed she was about to argue that she was drunk during that time, but she lets out a scoff, and that's even worse.

"You're pissed off about that too?" She seemed mad, and you nearly regret even blurting out the sentence.

You close your eyes with your hands, just wanting this to end even though it's just started and just barely scratched surface of what you need to talk about...or argue. You hoped it was the first one.

"Of course I am, Wanda! Where have you been?" You try your best to keep calm, but your voice was laced with anger. Hers though, was higher volume than yours.

"At work!" She walks around to the front of the couch, and you slide your hand down your face. Her face looked so believable, but you knew it wasn't the truth. You saw it with your own eyes.

"Bullshit." You whispered, looking at her with tired eyes. She gets confused and sits down on the couch, her eyes focused on you. You shift your position.

"What? I'm not ly--..." Her voice was a little high of a volume, and she doesn't finish her sentence when she hears you take in a shaky breath.

"...I...saw you." You said quietly, and Wanda, having been caught up in trying to make you believe her had to go quiet in thought of what exactly you mean.

She swallows down a lump in her throat, her eyes catching yours.

"Saw me?" She asked, her voice reducing down to almost the same volume as yours.

"You...were with someone else." You were shaking and your breath was trembling. You willed everything in your body not to sob while trying to get the rest of the sentences out. Her eyes widened at your words, and that was it.

"And I know it's not another person, because I saw your face." You point your finger to her, gently pushing on her chest with it to enunciate your words. Gently. You were never the type to lash out or be rough even when you were angry.

She goes quiet. Both pairs of your eyes were welling up with tears, that much was obvious. Any other words she's had before had died in her throat.

You see a tear rolling down her cheek from the side, and you held your hands back from wiping it off.

She looks at you, guilt swimming in her eyes, and she takes a shaky breath in before letting it go.

"...There's really..." She looks away from you, unable to even stare back at you. Your heart felt heavier than you knew it could.

"...nothing I could say or do to make you feel better." She said tearfully, her lips going down as she thought of her next words. She swallows her collected saliva again. That hit you like a million little glass pieces piercing through every part of your living, loving soul.

There really was not much she could reason with other than the fact that it had been true. She's fallen out of love with you, but even she didn't want to admit it.

"I've been with someone else. I...wanted to tell you. I just didn't know how." She admitted with her shoulders going up at her last words. There it was. The truth coming straight out of her mouth. Your lips nearly trembled, but your teeth sank down on it.

"How...long?" You ask, and you almost didn't want to know, but for the sake of closure, you urged on. She stays quiet, her own hands gripping the couch.

"How long, Wanda?" You pressed. Was it a month ago? It couldn't have been longer than that.

"Only after eight months of us moving here." It was before you even had your break. You made the math quickly in your head. You moved in a little more than a year ago, so it's been...six months?

You had been in this devouring hole for six months, and you hadn't even realized it. And she didn't tell you or break up with you. Instead she requested a break. No wonder your hope had died to sparks and to nothingness.

"What?" You whispered under your quivering breath, your head tilting in disbelief as your eyes spilled out in silent tears.

"Wanda." You say her name softly. She looked down in her lap as you let out another breath that nearly sounded like a sob. She sniffles, and you know the both of your hearts are breaking.

"Why?" You ask, although it was more of a thought from your head that spewed out unintentionally rather than a logical question. She couldn't answer. She didn't have an answer herself. It just happened. That's how it always is.

"...I thought you loved me." Your voice was small, as if speaking any louder would make the entire universe disappear in fear, just like your love had.

"I did! Or, I do!! I don't know!!!" She blurts out, not being able to decide which one. Her body had deflated at the high chance of losing you tonight.

"So you fell out of love with me completely?" Your eyes watch her carefully, and just for a vivid moment, she hesitantly, just barely nods.

"And you didn't think to just...break it off." You whisper, although it was more of a sentence to yourself. But she heard it anyway. It was obvious what you were pointing towards in your sentence. She sighs. She knows she's taken a step she couldn't take back.

Really, how can someone bring theirselves to having a full conversation about falling out of love? It's a difficult thing to do. Sure, you'd be heartbroken either way, or somehow you would have been able to work it out, but you supposed something else in you just wished you hadn't suffered all those months hoping for absolutely...nothing.

The two of you sit in the silence of what you'd think is death, not knowing what exactly to do with it all. The love you once had was gone. Or at least...hers.

Something spins around in your head. It's been spinning for ages since she had called to take a break, and you had hoped you never had to say it, but what else was there? You could start over, but this love had already started over before. Or had tried to. Technically it was both. This was the end of the road.

"...It's over." You whisper out into the room, and Wanda finally glanced up at you, her face full of heartbreak. Even though she probably saw it coming. You've seen that look before, and your stomach was about to collapse at even a second of it. You kept the eye contact though, needing to fully close this.

In a way, you searched her eyes, for some reason, still searching for anything that once was. But there wasn't anything but hopeless desperation.

"No...no please, I need you." She says, taking breaths in between as she cried. You hated seeing her like this. But you hated going in circles just as much.

"If you really did, then you wouldn't have done such a thing." She had nothing else to say to that. It had been your breaking point. You averted your gaze and stood up, hesitating for a moment, but eventually going off to the bedroom as she sat there in the consequences of her actions.

You walk into the room and close the door, locking it right after. You gently lean your head against the door, while silent tears freely move down your skin. The supply of water in your body was definitely infinite for today. A part of you wanted to laugh at the mere thought, and just to cope, but you were too tired to even do so.

You take in a breath, looking up to the ceiling as you felt your throat swell up, but you try your best to be quiet. You'd hate for her to hear you sob in the other room. She might be doing the same thing herself. You squeeze your eyes shut for a short time, wishing for it all to just stop.

And technically it's about to.

Gently, you push off the bedroom door and your legs take you to the front of your closet. The next move was obvious.

Your hands clenched theirselves as your eyes stare at the closet doors. You take a look around the room, taking in the space with your eyes lingering on some parts. The book Wanda hasn't finished reading. She stopped reading it ever since she started to disappear. You should have seen the signs.

The little teddy bear she got, the daisies you got her in the corner of the room, the DVDs she has in the TV stand, the music collection you have next to it.

You rip your gaze away and let your hands open the closet doors. A travel bag and a luggage bag was just under the hanged clothes, sitting within a compartment.

With trembling hands, you slide both out, putting them on the bed and unzipping them. It was the same bags you used to move into the house.

You grab some of the clothes you once shuffled through just earlier this morning, making sure to remember which ones are Wanda's, and not yours.

They were placed into the bags, and you stared at the folded shirts. They looked wrong. You throw your head back with a sigh, frustrated. The bed dips when you sat on it, the bags moving along just a little with it.

What are you thinking? The promise to stay, to fight through it all, it had all fallen apart. The one person you didn't leave after just a few months, and yet here you are. Packing. You let your body fall down completely on the mattress, legs dangling while you stared at the ceiling.

How many times have you stared up there? You don't even want to know. Before you lost all motivation and your emotions ran slow, you slowly prop yourself up to your arms and got back up. If you stopped now, you won't be gone in the morning.

Toothbrush, toothpaste, everything else you need and all the essentials. The last of it gets stored in the empty parts, and with the quiet sound of the zipper zipping, it was done.

With a relieved sigh that you could now simply lay on the pillows, your arms splayed out, your body giving up the last of its energy. You definitely couldn't get up anymore to do anything else.

This was the last night you were sleeping in this bed.

The crickets couldn't be any more louder with filling up the silence. You hated it. It felt too short, but all at the same time, it feels like it's gone on for too long.

Your vision faded into black as your mind stayed loud, up until it crept into your dreams. She slept on the couch that night.

In the morning, you woke up heavy and go through everything as if you didn't even sleep. Not even a cold shower helped you. Honestly, it might have just helped numbing the pain in your chest instead. You gather your items, gripping your bags tightly.

What if you just drop them and simply isolate yourself in the room? No. You shook your head, walking over to the door.

Your hand remains on the cold door knob for a short while, and you almost stay long enough to have it warmed up from your skin. It gets twisted though, and you open it.

If not for the sleeping figure on the couch, it would have been an empty room. You walk out to the front door with your eyes lingering on her.

Maybe her love was too good for you anyway. You just couldn't give her enough. Or too much. It didn't even make sense anymore. There was no in between your heart and mind could agree on. Even you didn't know what you were thinking.

Just as you click open the lock and went to open the front door, she slowly awakes. The shuffling makes you turn to look at her. You catch the realization and sadness in her eyes when you locked sights. Damn the loud clicks and creaking sounds of the doors.

"Where are you going?" She asks, but it was more of a question, than her wanting to stop you.

"Somewhere that isn't here." You say quietly, like a secret thats not meant to be said. She stares off into a space in the room, lost in thought.

"I really am sorry." You hold your breath a little longer, waiting for her to say something else. But she didn't.

There wasn't anything possible to heal the broken love you held. Maybe if she gave in, but her hands had been touched by someone else and her lips...perhaps had met another's.

"I love you." You whispered impulsively, although quiet and quick, it made sound to reach her ears nonetheless.

But yet, she was silent.

You stare at her for a second more, and few seconds too long to say you're determined in leaving. She wasn't looking at you.

You take a step to turn, and the door slides open with the pull of your hand.

You take another, then when you're outside and the door closes gently, the quietness of it all consumed you.

You check your belongings, you had your bags, your watch, your phone. You have everything except for her.

You check your last pocket, and in it were the keys to the house. You slide it off and it clinks, a familiar sound that you hated made your heart skip a beat every time you heard it.

You leave it off somewhere at the front of the house, and you hope you don't remember where you put it.

It all blurred together as you went to your car, turned on the engine and drove off. Of course you had a plan in mind. You've thought about it a hundred times, but you never thought you'd go with it.

The car arrives to a stop, near the place of your favorite cafe. But you aren't going out. You just needed to drive away from the house.

"Fuck." You cursed under your breath and slammed your fist on the steering wheel, and somehow your hand had slid down to the horn, making you bump into it and the car beeped loudly. You jumped, and looked around alertedly, but no one was there. The sidewalks were empty.

You relievedly let out the breath you were holding once you made sure you were in the clear. Thankfully, it wasn't lunchtime or the weekend.

"God," the word comes out under your breath as you shook your head. The thoughts in your head were harsh, and your shoulders slumped at it.

"How could I have ever possibly thought I was actually the one?" You whisper to yourself, staring at the logo of the car, still somehow shiny, just sitting there in between the controls even from how much you've driven the car.

You grip the steering wheel, but then you notice your arms being covered in a certain cloth. One all too familiar, one you chose in instinct in the morning. You look down on the sweatshirt you're wearing, and it was obvious. It was Wanda's.

You clench your jaw and your hands move to peel it off yourself, the sweatshirt turning into a jumbled up piece of clothing that was inside-out. You didn't even want to look at it, so you threw it to the backseats. You'll deal with it later.

Soon, you went to grab your phone, your hand shaking as you turned on your phone, trying your best to find a certain contact. You hold the device tighter, trying to stop the shaking. But you couldn't.

When you found it, you were hesitant to tap on it, your mind loud of everything bad that could happen. But it was Kate. You take in a shaky breath and tapped on the call button, exhaling your breath as you put your phone to your ear.

"Hello?" Her voice comes out gently. The kinder tone almost makes you let out a breath of relief. Your shoulders relax only a little though.

"Kate?" You ask in a whisper, fiddling a little with your steering wheel and tracing the round shape, the texture brushing the skin of your fingers.

"Hey, what's up?" It was still gentle, but there was a hint of concern in it. She can already tell something was wrong even though you barely said anything.

"Um...I..." Your breath was shaky, and she could hear it. On the other side of the phone, Kate was frowning, but she stayed quiet as she gave you time to get your words out.

You were nibbling your bottom lip as you thought about how to talk about your situation, and in the midst of the moment-- "...Wanda and I broke up," you spew out the words, your mouth not even caring to follow your mind anymore.

"What? What happened?" She was certainly shocked, and you look out the window, trying to distract yourself while at the same time speaking to Kate.

"She was with someone else," you say. The florist you once saw a few months ago came out of his store, greeting a customer outside. It was like you were watching a scene you were once in, in another person's view.

"Oh, shit." She swore out unintentionally, the surprise taking over her mouth. "Sorry," she apologized quickly, and you can imagine her blinking to get ahold of herself. It almost made you let out a soft chuckle.

"...I'm sorry, Y/N. God, I could never imagine Wanda would have done that." Kate said quietly. She adored your relationship together, that much was true, but she also saw the parts of Wanda that you wish weren't true. Yet this, this was an unexpected turn.

"...And since I left the house, I can't even sulk in bed or anything." You let out a gentle breath of a laugh, but it was more of a nervous one.

"I mean, I should've had a plan but-- we'd just keep seeing each other and it just...hurts." The florist had said goodbye to the customer who bought the flowers. He seemed happy as he rewrote some things on his little chalkboard. That man was definitely living his best life.

"Where are you gonna go?" She asks, and you go silent. You couldn't go to Carol's. You wouldn't. She's living with Maria and Monica and you probably wouldn't have a room to sleep other than in the living room on the couch. You wouldn't want to intrude on her living conditions anyway.

"I don't...really have anywhere to go to, so anywhere, I guess." You sink into your seat, looking down in your lap to stop staring at people. Kate was silent for a moment, and you're guessing she either didn't know what to say, or is thinking about something.

"My place is available to you if you want to come. You're always welcome here," she offers, and your eyes relax while your fingers fiddle with theirselves, thinking it over.

"...If that's okay with you. I mean, I don't want to intrude on anything--" You add on after quickly, but you get cut off by Kate.

"It's fine. Don't worry about it, I've missed having you hanging around. And I promise you, I have two forks and spoons now so we don't have to share one or get a plastic one from Mcdonald's that'll break after a few minutes." She jokes, and that actually made you laugh.

"Okay. Okay, thank you, Kate. I'll be there tomorrow." You sit up more properly, getting ready to drive to the airport. You hadn't visited her in a while, so you already had money ready.

"I will be there to pick you up. Okay? Do not get a cab," she says sternly, and you take in a big breath only to let it out as a small sigh.

"Kate," You say sternly back, wanting to protest and not burden her more. But she hums in disagreement. You know she cared about getting you safe and being the best friend she is, but your head was killing you.

"No. No, Y/N. I am not letting you cry in a cab awkwardly first thing you get out the airport." She argues softly, and you let your shoulders down in defeat. At your silence, she waits.

"I'll let you know when I land." You give in, your voice small.

"Okay, good." You can hear the relief in her voice, and your lip tugs up into the smallest smile

"See you, Kate." You were about to end the call, but she speaks up again.

"Hey."

"Take care of yourself."

"I'll try."

"See you."

The call ends, and you start driving.

end of chapter 5.

Series Masterlist <- Chapter 4 Chapter 6 ->

---------------

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[coffee-ground-bones]

thinking about how differently i simp for characters.

aventurine, dazai, and scaramouche rambles, all lowercase written in 1st person POV

with aventurine i want to caress his face and pepper it with kisses until his mask falls and he turns into a blushing mess. i want to cuddle with him while watching a movie and play with his hair and call out the plot ahead of time. i want to drive to the local coffee shop and find a nice table where we both work on our shit, even though i cant have caffeine and he would rather have whiskey. i want to spend hours in his arms when im upset and i want him to spend hours in mine, as many as he desires (although i hope the tear filled ones would be few, not out of repression but out of those troubles being healed)

then theres dazai. i want to choke him but i dont know if its in a kinky way or in a murder way. its probably both. i want to walk around with a fond smirk as he does the most stupid shit and i make fun of him for it. i want to flick his forehead even though hes a bit too tall for that to work out lol. i want him to kiss the back of my hand and ask for a double suicide so i can say "yes! i just have a few things to clean up first, does 80 years from now work for you?". i want to get to know the people he cares about and the people who care about him so we can all make fun of him but love him in the end.

i want scaramouche to call me insignificant, to degrade me to tears with his words and love me to tears with his actions. i want to hear his thoughts and privately tell him "thats not very nice, kuni" and get into a small married couple spat. i want him to rant to me about how someone is completely wrong about something and teach me all the intricate details of his point. i want to give him all the bitter foods and for him to give me all the sweets, together we can eat anything our way and wont have any leftovers in the pantry or fridge.

im sure im missing more, and i left out the more... sexual thoughts, but there are so many of those. this is just what came to mind:)

[chihirolovebot]

being so normal and regular abt modern domestic physouma . he makes sure phys takes their antidepressants every single day. he knows when theyre having a bad day , when they curl up on the bed or sofa under the weight of a bunch of blankets, head turned against the sunlight , and he's just sort of there, hovering ,never leaving them alone. quietly opens up all the windows and brings them food under the guise of having leftovers . holds them a little tighter when they sleep. and you know he kicks up a fuss if phys doesnt want to share the bed ( or couch, or wherever because ouma can sleep anywhere ) .

like whatever . phys likes buying flowers and plants to look after because it gives them a routine and something to get out of bed for even on days when they dont feel like it. they make ouma sneeze but he'd die before he says anything about it.

theyre both bad at cooking but ouma can make a couple of basic meals and phys likes experimenting . i think phys makes breakfast and ouma makes tea/dinner and beyond that they Scavenge . phys drinks a relentless amount of tea and hot chocolate but ouma isnt allowed caffeine . neither of them like spicy food . phys likes making eggs in the morning but is finicky about texture and finds that the safest way for them to eat them is either as an omelette or hidden in something else ( ouma encourages them to keep making eggs because theyre good for you ) .

they have a strict laundry day because they both know they'd let it slip otherwise , ouma because he hates doing it and phys because they'd get distracted and forget.

phys starts working a salaried job with the professor as soon as they graduate university ( which they do at seventeen or eighteen ) and he buys them a cute little apartment in the city. ouma moves in not long after they get together ( maybe they met at hopes peak .. ? ) and they share the space . and phys watches this apartment with a nice view of osaka turns into Their Home. every time they come home from work exhausted , sensory overload with stuff sticking to their neck and shoes too tight and hair in their face , ready to throw their bag down and scream—they see him . curled up like a cat on the couch or experimenting (to detrimental effects) in the kitchenette or sometimes just waiting for them to come up and they just feel themself light up .

incompatible sleep schedules but once phys is asleep Theyre Asleep so its okay . they go to bed anywhere from 11pm-2am and ouma will go with them but not sleep for ages . combo of fucked up sleep schedule , undiagnosed insomnia and trust issues abt falling asleep in front of someone first . hes a creep and stares at them whilst they sleep bc he finds it kind of adorable and also , like , theres a person so close to him in a way that he never thought there would be , like theyre here and theyre asleep and vulnerable and they trust him and its so surreal he has to jam his fist in his mouth before he screams sometimes . hes a stick insect once hes asleep btw . phys wakes up at 7am and hes clinging to them like a koala bear.

the Big Light never get used . they have so many lamps and phys loves stringlights so much . ouma find fun and cute and creative ones with coloured lights and cute shapes and they hang them up everywhere , all over the doorways and walls, and instead of doors they have those beaded curtains that hang down because they both like how they swish and ouma loves using them to make dramatic entrances and exits .

casual touch . sleepy nights curled up on the couch watching shitty 70s spy flicks , ouma with his back to phys' chest with his head lolling on their shoulder whilst they fiddle with his hair to keep their hands occupied .

[soothinglee]

even if my heart stops beating⏤✰

seungmin x reader | 1.6k✔︎

my notes⎯ hello everyone ! I know it's been a while since I've actually wrote something ! I actually got hit by a bus! yeah I had to sue this company called "writers block" and I finally got a settlement! (also happy new year!) I recently (like a week ago) got into Kpop, specifically Stray Kids ! I've read some fan fictions (shameless) about some of my favorites and got inspo to write one! thank you @soobnny . also I haven't wrote anything in a while so i'm a little rusty, i'll be as good as new soon!

warning⎯ mentions of vomit (used as word vomit) and crying.

genre⎯ angst to comfort.✔︎

songs⎯ six feet under; billie eilish | pretty boy; the neighborhood

the old rusted clock that came with the condo you and seungmin bought sits perched on the top of the fridge. Its old, wooden frame slowly caves in on itself as time goes on.

not even an hour or two ago you had happily entered your home to start cooking dinner, not even worrying about showering first because you were so excited to have dinner with your boyfriend.

even going out of your way to spend a hundred dollars over the amount you usually spend to give seungmin the greatest 'welcome home' feast. he and the rest of stray kids had been on tour for the last couple months, traveling all over the world to perform at concerts and do collaborations with other idols to promote their new albums.

sure, it had been lonely, being by yourself all of the time, the only glimpse of your boyfriend you could get is when he could facetime you for 2 minutes or when he responded back to a text 4 hours later. but you understood, you knew what you were getting yourself into even when you started becoming friends with him.

if anything, you were strong, understanding, and flexible to when he couldn't make it to something like a movie night or date when his plane arrives later or practice runs over.

the only thing now, is that he had promised you that he could make it on time to dinner. sending countless 'I swear ill be there' texts and swift calls ensuring his presences at the dinner table during his dance rehearsals.

but now you were sitting at the table alone. a cold jajangmyeon sits in the platter in front of you, a similar on across the table from you. looking up at that old clock the hour turns to 10 and he's officially 2 hours late. it wasn't unknown for him to run a little over his time but this was unbelievable. you curse yourself for being naive and truly thinking he would keep to his word.

as you get up and clean the meal that you created you feel a little piece inside of you break, watching your hard work spill into the leftover containers like your tears. this was embarrassing, waiting around like a puppy in hopes your owner comes home. you were loyal and hopeful to a fault but wasting time and money like this was just unacceptable.

by the time seungmin walked through the front door it was half pass midnight and you had situated yourself infront of the t.v watching a new drama a colleague from work recommended.

"(name)." he calls out, you hear his shoes hit the wall as he takes them off, and then theres a shuffle as he organizes them on the shoe rack. you hear him leave his keys in the bowl on the desk that was by the front door, his footsteps growing louder as he nears the living room.

"(name)." he calls out again, seeing you lay in a cocoon of blankets in the dark, he think maybe you're sleeping so he quietly discards his winter coat on the back of the couch. he flicks on the lamp on the other side of the couch to bring in some light. though when he comes around to sit down he finds your eyes wide open, "why didn't you answer me when I called?"

"why didn't you come on time like you promised?" you quipped back quietly, suddenly too exhausted to have any conversation with him. you try and sink further into the thick blanket as you watch the Netflix symbol load and the next episodes intro plays.

you can't see his face but when he sighs and shifts in his spot you can hear the hesitance, "you already know why, practice ran late, like always."

"whatever."

"'whatever?' what's going on with you?"

"nothing." your tone is snipped but honestly you couldn't care less. somewhere in your soul you feel as though this might be a little extreme of an reaction but there is only so much patience you can give one person. you constantly make time for him and this relationship, so why couldn't he move things around and do the same for you? your eyes remain on the television.

seungmins eyes dart quickly to the t.v and then back to you, noticing that your full attention isn't on him, so he leans over you and goes to grab the remote from your hands. at the sudden loss of contact you make a move to try and get the remote back from him but he effectively powers down the t.v and discards in on the coffee table.

"I'll only repeat myself so many times, what's going on?"

it was like a newfound energy fizzled at your toes and pushed itself up and towards your head, your body springs up from its sideways position and you angle yourself to face seungmin.

though the light was somewhat dim due to only the lamp being on, he could see the red-rim of your eyes and the dried streaks of tears sticking to your cheeks. obviously, it had been evident that you had been crying.

seungmins eyes soften for a moment, he reaches out to try and smooth out the puffiness of your cheeks but as soon as you see his hand coming you push it away, "you were crying?" it comes out more of a statement than a concerned question, but the worry was still evident in his tone.

"duh," you start, suddenly feeling uncomfortable in the tense space, you find comfort in the carpet on the ground. you were feeling...nervous. you didn't want to cause anymore problems but things won't get solved unless they are discussed, which in all honesty, the thought of confrontation in the first place is feared.

you need to get it out, you can't stop living like this. deep down you know he cares but you have to stop going off of assumptions. either he's going to show up or not, it was clear already that you showed up no matter how busy you were.

"do you even still love me?"

the question tumbles from your lips before you could even process what you were saying. maybe it wasn't what you wanted to convey exactly but it was definitely a start.

"what?" his airy voice sounds dumbfounded which makes sense. the intense look you're giving him plus the profound, out-of-the-blue question throws him off guard.

of course he loves you, why would you ever think anything different? "where is this coming from?"

"well it's just that every time we have something planned your work gets in the way. I spend hours and hours getting ready, trying to look my best, just to waste the day sitting on the couch waiting for you to come home. sometimes I'm waiting so long I fall asleep! I put so much effort into being a good girlfriend! hell, I even spent over 100 dollars on dinner tonight because I knew you had a hectic day, it took me two hours to make it just for it to go cold and put into a container,"

your voice chokes up, full of exhaustion and disappointment. you feel the tears pooling in your eyes but have no energy to stop them. you really want to quit the word vomit but there's no point, theres more to be said.

"I try so hard to not get disheartened but it gets so hard when you don't even try. sometimes I feel like you don't even care about this relationship anymore, like you don't care about m-"

just as you were about to finish your words were muffled by hands on your face, and lips on yours. seungmin had kissed you to stop your rambling. you couldn't help but to feel relieved and somewhat offended.

"stop." he whispers as he takes a breath, his hands still on your face, foreheads connecting, "please stop." his voice crack under pressure, its subtle but at the lack of distance between you two you can hear it so well. your eyes are closed, trying to get your own tears at bay but hearing how emotional he's becoming breaks you. a sob teeters at your bottom lip but you force it still.

"don't you ever think that I don't care. I always have." he pauses and wipes the stray tears on your face with his thumbs, "I'm so sorry I've made you feel like this. god I'm such a bad boyfriend, this is my fault."

you try to move away to comfort him but he holds you in place gently, you sniffle and reach up to brush the bangs from his face.

"I promise you I'll be more attentive, ill take you out everyday, spend as much time with you, cook for you, miss practices all the time just to make sure you know I care about you."

"you promised earlier but you didn't come!" you cry, recounting how long you waited.

"I know!" his voice quivers as his hands tremble, lightly shaking your head, "I know...and i'll never forgive myself. you don't know how much you've shaped me into the person I am now and I- I have no clue what I would do without you. I just have a poor way of showing it."

you grip on his wrists, mimicking him with your eyes squeezed shut, you stopped trying to keep the tears in awhile ago, letting them fall freely into your covered lap. "how do I know I can trust you? I'm so sick of feeling like this."

"I promise you I will prioritize you more than anything, Idol life, dancing, singing- whatever, does not come before you. I won't leave you hanging like this anymore, i'm sorry I didn't pay more close attention to your feelings," his bottom lips shakes as he takes another deep breath, he opens his eyes and you can see pass the tears and sorrow a new found determination.

"even if my heart stops beating, you're the only one I need."

past your wary judgement...you believe him...

[chaoscriess]

hi hi hi ! ik i just started following, but i dig your stuffs ! was hoping to request 130 with ghostface bc i need it, thanks for your time friend !

yeah yeah absolutely!! u earned a follow for your kind words :') this prompt gave me smut vibes so I added that to the end, there will be a warning incase that's not what u wanted

𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒! 130.

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒! cussing, ghostface, knives, kinda dubcon but not really cause reader has a crush on ghostface. reader takes off his mask during the smut but doesnt see his face

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐓𝐖𝐎! smut after the second gif, daddy kink, choking, degrading mixed with praise, spanking 😁 dirty talk during sex, idfk for some people that's an ick, kinda a breeding kink, yes I know it's not realistic for them to cum at the same time but I do not give a flying futuristic frog fuck.

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒! I loved this. on mobile, format might be weird. lowercase intended, unedited, double periods intended. no indication of which ghostface it is but ghostface is male so,,yeah. afab reader but theres no indication of that until the smut

ghostface x reader

it was halloween! finally!

you had been waiting since early august for halloween to come and it finally did

it was nearing midnight, and the sound of children knocking on your front door had finally come to a halt

so now you were sitting on your couch and piling leftover candy into your mouth

you were very glad you bought extra this year

you were watching a movie on your tv, some indie horror film your roommate recommended to you

it wasnt great, but you still enjoyed it enough to keep watching it

honestly, the only reason you kept watching it was because the killer was really fucking hot

it reminded you of something... what was it..?

oh, right.

that killer that had been terrorizing your town

you didnt know who was under the mask, but you couldn't keep yourself from fantasizing about being kissed by him, held by him...fucked by him.

honestly, he was hot.

really fucking hot.

you were just about to fall asleep when you got a call

"hello..?" you were curious as to who would be calling this late. "hello, y/n." oh shit. that fucking voice, that was ghostface! fucking ghostface, holy shit. "hey ghosty" you decided to fuck with him, not caring why he was calling. "excuse me? call me that again and I'll gut you like a fucking fish." your face scrunched up, and you huffed, sinking into your couch. "okay fine, jeez. what do you want, anyways?" he chuckled in response and you heard a tap on your window. you turned your head as fast as you could, your heart was racing now. you wouldn't admit it, but you were scared.

you heard floorboards creak behind you and felt a hand on your shoulder. suddenly, you couldn't breath, you couldn't think, and you couldn't move. this was not like the movies. not at all.

for some reason, he spared you.

sliced up your arm a bit, but he didnt kill you.

you wondered why

a week later, you found out why.

how? well, he visited you again. but this time, it was for a different reason.

just as you were about to go to bed, you heard someone step into your room. huh, that's weird, nobody was supposed to be awake

whatever, you were too tired to care.

but when you felt someone get into bed with you and wrap their arms around you, you got up and almost screamed

but when you looked on your bed and didn't see anything, you wondered if you were just half asleep or going crazy

until you felt someone put their hand over your mouth and wrap their arm around your waist.

you were fucking terrified

"what's wrong, darling? 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗽𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴." he sat his chin on your shoulder, taking in your scent. he chuckled and hummed to himself, the room was silent besides your heavy breathing and he could hear your heartbeat.

18+! smut starts here!

"if I take my hand off your mouth, do you promise to be good for me? you gonna be a good little pet for ghosty?" shit, why was he here? and why the hell did he call himself ghosty? did he like it when you called him that? damn, you made a whole ass serial killer a simp for you. to be honest, you felt like god. you nodded eagerly at his words and smirked when he slowly and hesitantly took his hand off your mouth. "ghosty, huh?" he scoffed and wrapped his hand around your throat harshly, shutting you up quickly.

he dropped the hand that was around your waist down into your pants and began rubbing you through your underwear. you could hear him groan softly under his mask and you heard his breathing pick up, he was obviously turned on. you smirk again and let out a moan, just to see how he'd respond. he tightened his grip on your neck and told you to be quiet, and you remembered that your roommates were asleep. your smirk widened as you reached upwards, taking off his mask and tangling your fingers in his hair, gripping roughly as you moaned again.

he pulled away and harshly pushed you onto the bed, pushing your face into your pillow before pulling your pants and underwear down and smacking your ass. "so pretty.. all for me". you could practically hear the smirk in his voice as he ran his thumb along your cunt, picking up your juices and using it as a lube to rub your clit. he muttered 'god, so fucking wet' and pulled up his robe, pulling down his pants before entering you harshly.

you cried out at the pain and lack of warning or prep, but soon the pleasure overcame the pain as he roughly thrusted into you at a fast pace. you didn't care that your roommates were asleep, your moans were all you could hear now besides the sound of his hand hitting your ass repeatedly. "shit, shit, shit! fuck, daddy, feels so good!" he laughed at you as he kept his pace but raised your ass in the air to get a better angle into your cunt.

"shit, such a pretty little cockwhore. you love my dick, dont you baby?" you nodded quickly, too cock dumb to speak. "use your fucking words, slut". jesus, he really wants you to talk? well fuck him, you're too tired. he scoffed at your silence and smacked your ass, harder than he had before. you moaned loudly at the pain mixed with pleasure and tried your best to form an intelligible sentence.

"yes! fuck yes, I love your cock! fuck, wont ever fuck anyone else! just you daddy! so fucking good!" he smiled at you and reached forward to grip your throat as he felt himself getting closer and closer to his high. you were nearing your orgasm as well, a string of curses leaving your mouth as you pushed your hips back to meet his cock with every thrust. he squeezed your throat one last time as you came, your pussy was squeezing around him, leading him to do the same and you felt him finish inside you. after a few more thrusts, you felt him pull out.

when you didnt hear him for a few minutes, you turned around. you were confused as to why you didnt hear anything, but it clicked when you saw your window open. that dick, he left you laying there all fucked out.

yeah, your roommates definitely heard you. and he definitely came back the next day.

and the next, and the next

and probably the day after that

but you never once complained

[minthara]

i extracted files and searched for Minthara's name, some snippets (I sadly cant see who says them AND its really hard to tell one line from another) and it shows the romance is either bugged or they cut it out of the game

its all jumbled up, so theres 100 % more i cant find, but it doesnt mention her name. i did not add lines i personally encountered in game

SPOILERS

pregnancy

So, Minthara has one in the proverbial oven?

I hope we're not finished with our current labours before Minthara drops her egg. War is the perfect nursery for a child.

Minthara with child… Somehow I can't picture her sitting around the campfire, knitting baby booties…

Minthara's pregnant. A new life, a little one, sprung from all this fuckin' chaos.

companions about/to minthara (GUESSED BY ME!! IT DOESNT SAY WHO!!)

It's funny seeing you so smitten, Minthara. Didn't think you were able.

How curious - I've only ever known Minthara to moan with pleasure when somebody's losing a limb.

So, you and Minthara, is it? I suppose that little spark we shared has been snuffed out then. I don't blame you though - she is a… compelling prospect.

And you're carousing with Minthara.

Not interested in Minthara's leftovers, I'm afraid.

Any doubts about falling for a foe, Minthara? Or does that just add spice to things?

Minthara's something of a closed book, but I suspect a heart of gold lurks beneath that stern countenance.

So. You and Minthara. Wow. Impressive.

I bet Minthara is fun.

To choose Minthara over, well, anyone… It's certainly a brave decision. One might hazard to say reckless. Stupid. Fatal…

I hope you and Minthara are very happy together. Or miserable. Whatever she prefers.

Right. Well, far be it for me to stand in the way of true love. Or anything else Minthara wants, for that matter.

What about Minthara? Weren't you guys in some kind of horrific power play masquerading as romance?

Hey, so, what's romance like in the Underdark, Minthara?

And you favour Minthara, no less. I thought you valued yourself. Minthara certainly doesn't.

pc to/about minthara (GUESSED BY ME!! IT DOESNT SAY WHO!!)

Amorous passions usually make people more considerate, Minthara. Kinder. Sympathetic. Better at cooperating.

Even my people know the value of a carefully crafted coalition, Minthara. Is our own alliance not a case in point?

Who do you love, Minthara?

I'm yours, Minthara.

I've decided to pursue a relationship with Minthara. I thought you should know.

You've judged my affections wrongly - I am much closer to Minthara!

It was only sex, Minthara. Do you have to be so dramatic?

I'll do it. Just please - don't hurt Minthara.

Yes. I'm yours, Minthara.

She comes in here, into our camp, and lays hands on my Minthara?!

We'll find your family, Minthara. And slaughter them. Would you enjoy that?

You think I'm beautiful? Oh, Minthara.

narrator (GUESSED BY ME!! IT DOESNT SAY WHO!!)

You slept with the drow Minthara. You pleased her.

The guard is happy to let you pass - Minthara is rather less happy about your choice of words.

You slip into Minthara's mind while all her attention is focused on saving her own skin. You can feel her guilt everywhere, writhing and churning. All it takes is one little push…

idk

Who knows how long the real Minthara has been strapped to Orin's altar? We owe it to her to bring her back safely. She would do no less for you or I.

You're that True Soul that's been chumming around with Minthara, aren't you?

Care to share any of Minthara's weaknesses? Or would it take too long to go through them all?

And Minthara is - eh. A friend of yours, I am sure.

Distract her with thoughts of your night with Minthara.

Orin, masquerading as Minthara… That certainly explains her vociferous antipathy towards me.

And what more beautiful terror can there be than that wrought by Minthara and her love?

Why so surprised? Minthara murdered her way out of the womb.

I'm glad to know you have a softer side, Minthara. I was beginning to think you rather heartless.

Minthara Baenre. It is fair to say her intimacy is not easily won. Nevertheless, I did. Tried. (ORIN??)

My good friend Minthara is the funniest person I know.

Orin thinks Minthara's abduction is an ultimatum to kill Gortash.

status

Partnered with Minthara

Orin abducted Minthara. She told us that she'll release her if we kill Gortash.

Minthara is in Orin's clutches.

searching for "baenre"

It is true. Surface food lacks flavour. House Baenre banquets were legendary.

[sxftkxssxs]

if your comfortable with it, could you please write something about the m6 (or just Asra and Julian) with an anorexic mc? as someone kind of struggling rn I could use the comfort, but if your not comfortable with it I totally understand 🌻

Oh I definitely can!! I hope this helps, even though its forever late :((

Anorexic mc (main 6)

Asra

He's going to be the most worried about you

He'll do anything he can to support you, and I mean anything

Asra would make sure the things you both eat are things you are okay trying, and he definitely tries to make eating more enjoyable for you

He always checks in on you to make sure you aren’t pushing yourself too hard.

He’s always so proud of you, making sure you can hear him say it when you’re in the privacy of your room. It’s often mixed in with soft whispers of praise.

might invite you to cook with him, if you accept, the kitchen ends up a little more of a mess than before (why is there flour on the ceiling..?)

Faust likes to wrap and squeeze you when you have a hard day. (She’s very cold and now you are too!) 

Julian

At first he’s probably a little stumped, but he’s a doctor. he knows about these things

He makes sure he doesn’t get too carried away with the doctor talk, you’re safe from doctor lectures

Malak will often perch on your shoulders, only squawking at Julian a mild amount

Julian doesn't push you too hard, and often leaves you little reminders that you're doing amazing (though you can't really read that chicken scratch doctor handwriting..) 

He tries his best to be there for you when it gets harder, offering to sit with you while you both eat together, dramatic support when you do well!!

Overall he's such a sweetheart, and he makes sure you're not being too hard on yourself

Nadia

Nadia worries almost as bad as Asra does, but she doesn’t always let it show

She’ll take this into consideration for every meal that's planned

She makes sure any meal you both have won’t be too much for you!

Nadia shows how proud she is of you with soft touches outside of the privacy your rooms provide. When inside the privacy of her own spaces she’ll often invite you to bathe with her. (if you turn that down I’ll go in for you).

if you have a really bad day she’ll have them make something a little less, extravagant

Muriel

He won’t have much to say, but you can tell he remembers from other things he does for you

He’ll quietly ask you if you’ve eaten or if you’re alright if he notices anything off

The food he makes always suits your tastes and always looks like someone put a lot of care into it

Muriel makes sure to eat with you, taking a seat beside you

Inanna will still gladly accept any leftovers, although she’s much less eager to snatch it right off your plate

He tries to show he’s proud of you, he gets a little smile on his face every time you two eat together. Inanna often snuggles up to you after you all eat and won’t get up for anything

Muriel won’t be disappointed if theres some things you just can’t bring yourself to eat, either he or Inanna will eat it 

Portia 

Portia definitely has concerns

She’s more of a baker but she can make (some) foods for you if you’d prefer!

She’d likely ask Julian some questions, or just let him spew as much as he knew on the topic 

She’ll encourage you to hang out with her in the kitchens eventually, and everyone working there would be incredibly supportive

Pepi sometimes steals from the kitchens for you, bringing you little parts of things you like (and a leaf once!) 

Portia shows she’s proud of you loud and clear, big hugs and kisses are absolutely part of the routine

Lucio

He’s got a lot of spirit I can tell you that

Most likely won’t be paying much attention to your plate or anything other than the conversation you’re having

he’ll take some time to process why you might not wanna eat- he genuinely thinks you’re amazing no matter what

Lucio is all about fun and making things not seem as bad, so that’s what he does-

He’ll tell you about things he’s done in the past, things he’s planning on the two of you doing, all of it

I think he’s always got to have a hand on you in some way, so depending on what you two are eating he might draw circles on your unused hand, or link pinkies with you.

Mercedes and Melchior often nudge you, slipping their heads under your arm occasionally. No one can ever tell if they’re trying to encourage you or beg for scraps…

[nattinatalia]

Concept: Tres Leches goes missing from the fridge for a gathering all to find out EZ and Mia ate half of it and theres a little trail from the kitchen to the playroom lmao 🤭🤭🤭 (Make them like 6 or 7)

“I swear to you, it was right here.”

“Then someone must’ve eaten it because it can’t just disappear.” You tell your husband.

It was Maggie’s birthday and all she wanted was a small party, and for you to bake her a tres leche cake. Of course you agreed on it, no questions asked.

But you could’ve sworn before heading outside to finish decorating, you had left the cake in the refrigerator so it could continue cooling off for a bit more.

“It wasn’t me, I swear.” Jack closes and opens the refrigerator a third time.

“Bubs, it’s not going to magically appear everytime you open and close it.” You shake your head.

“What are you guys doing?”

You turn to the voice of your brother in law. “The cake I baked for your mom has somehow gone missing.”

“Oh, I took it out and placed it on the tabl- what the, where is it?” Clay is standing by the table now, confused like you and Jack.

“You took it out and left it at arms reach?” Jack asks. “Meaning my little spawns could’ve reached it.” He smirks, already solving the case of the missing cake.

“Jackman, I told you to stop calling them spawns, you’re just like Druski.” You walk out of the kitchen but notice a trail of milk leading to the playroom.

Jack and Clay following behind you. Jack laughs, “They suck at being sneaky, they left evidence.”

“Hush, your mom will kill me if she finds out I helped.” You hear someone say inside the playroom.

You’re standing at the doorway with your hands on your hips glaring at them. “Mom already knows and she’s mad.”

The three of them gasp and turn to look at you, cake all over their faces.

“HE DID IT” Mia and Ezequiel point at Sunni.

Sunni let’s out a shock sound and glares at the kids “It was your guy’s idea, I just helped”

Jack and Clay make their way inside the playroom to grab the kids, while Sunni is sitting down in the kids table you had there for them to color.

“I hope you know my wife is going to rip you to pieces.” Jack smirks, carrying Ezequiel.

Clay smiles, hand in hand with Mia, “Sis, don’t beat him up until after I’m down cleaning this little cake thief up.”

“Y/N-“ Sunni starts, wiping the leftover cake from his mouth. “I can explain.”

You nod, “Okay, explain.”

“Wait what?” He asked confused, most likely thought you weren’t going to give him the chance to explain.

You motion to the floor. “You three left a trail of milk and crumbs, you’ll clean that up.” You lift a finger up, “And you’ll have to tell Maggie why her cake is store bought.”

“But she-“

Jack tosses his car keys, “I’d start heading to buy one, mom will be here soon.”

Sunni stands up and runs towards the door but quickly comes back. “If it makes you feel any better, the cake was delicious. Evil spawns and I approve.”

“SUNNI.” Jack shakes his head in amusement watching him run out.

“Cakey was good mama, goods jobs.” Ezequiel gives you a thumbs up.

You groan, “I can’t even be mad at you, my sweet boy.” You smile and carry him. “Let’s go get you cleaned up.”

[thebibliosphere]

Hey! I saw on your posts that you have MCAS. I might as well, so I was curious about your symptoms and how you got diagnosed. I've got intestinal reactions to a suite of food that have been escalating in recent months. But my skin test came back negative for all of them and for the pollen they might be caused by (birch). I'm getting some blood tests in January and an EpiPen. But I'd love to chat about your symptoms and diagnosis journey. ❤️

Hello friend. Sorry to hear you might be suffering as well. If you want to peruse my #mcas tag, there's a lot already in there.

I also test negative for a lot of food allergies, both on the skin test and the blood test, but thats because MCAS allergies are not always the result of true IgE-mediated allergies, but our mast cells being wonky and triggering other mechanisms within the cell that lead to mast cell degranulation which manifests as allergic reactions and sometimes full-blown anaphylaxis.

The reaction can take several hours to days to appear, which is why we can eat something fine one day, but if we eat it again the following day, we react. (leftovers are the worst offenders because it allows time for histamine to build up in the food. If you want to keep leftovers, freeze them and reheat the next day.)

It's also why some of us experience slow-acting anaphylactoid reactions as opposed to the rapid onset anaphylaxis most people are familiar with.) Other true IgE allergies, like birch, can cause cross-reactions, the most common of which is oral allergy syndrome, which is possible to have alongside MCAS or by itself.

Aren’t bodies ‘fun’?

If you suspect MCAS, something you maybe find helpful is doing a low-histamine diet to weed out the worst trigger food offenders from your diet.

The SIGHI histamine food list is the most comprehensive and up-to-date list for spotting any potential red flags in your diet that may be affecting histamine levels:

A dietician is advised to help you with this, as a low histamine diet is very low in nutrients and shouldn't be done long-term to avoid malnourishment. However, some of us wind up on it long-term due to the severity of our MCAS and require prescription supplements and also sometimes IV infusions. Fortunately, now that I am stable and getting better, I have been able to put more foods back into my diet, which is the hopeful end goal of treatment. (I was down to 2 safe foods in 2019 and was starving to death while my then-doctor insisted I had an eating disorder. After proper treatment with mast cell stabilizers and treating an underlying case of pernicious anemia, I’m now up to 25!!! 🎉🎉🎉)

Unfortunately, not all healthcare providers “believe” in MCAS or histamine intolerance though Covid has changed a lot of minds. (Nothing like patients going into idiopathic anaphylaxis in front of you to change your world view real fucking quick). If you encounter one of those providers, move on as soon as you can. They’re not up to date on current medical research and are doing a disservice to their patients.

Thankfully, at least here in the US, many younger doctors seem to be coming out of med school with a basic grasp that mast cells can go rogue and that MCAS is real and the lesser-known though just as severe cousin of mastocytosis.

Sadly, they’re primarily still being taught to test for it using the mastocytosis method (checking the blood for elevated tryptase levels), which is not always indicative of MCAS because, unlike patients with mastocytosis, our tryptase levels fluctuate based on flares. Theres also a 24-hour urine test you can do which is more accurate but, again that’s unreliable because it requires stringent temperature regulation (nothing like having a bucket of pee in your refrigerator for 24 hours) and if the urine isn't kept as cold as possible right up until the moment of testing, the results could give a false negative.

I test negative on every single test (except biopsy, which many doctors try to avoid) and would need to be tested during a bout of anaphylaxis, which no ER is going to pause to do. Fortunately, a lot of doctors are now diagnosing based on clinical presentation, patient history and how patients respond to initial treatment of mast cell stabilizers.

There are a couple of more heavy hitters they can try, but the most basic are a combination of your run-of-the-mill h1 and h2 type histamine blockers, commonly sold over the counter as Zyrtec and Pepcid. (obligatory: always check with your doctor before starting any new medication)

The tmsforacure website has a list of MCAS friendly doctors in the US:

(I do not recommend any of the Mayo clinics, sadly. I’ve yet to hear from a single fellow mastie who’s had a good experience with them or come away feeling like a person afterwards. It seems a lot of their testing is aimed toward mastocytosis and is rooted in some weird bias of wanting to keep MCAS seen as ‘rare’, when really it’s just rarely diagnosed.)

You can also usuay find doctors in your area by checking out local support groups on places like Facebook and Reddit. The Reddit groups are pretty good, tbh.

Oh, and it would help if you also looked into whether or not you have a Vitamin D deficiency, as vitamin D is required for mast cells to remain stable and even a mild deficiency can mess us up.

A chronic lack of Vitamin D in our society has also been linked to an increase in things like asthma and other allergic diseases. So that one is just good for everyone to be aware of.

I likely missed something in that deluge of text, but hopefully some of it was useful to you. If you want to ask more specifics or even just chat my inbox is (usually) always open. My health is not great right now, so I’m struggling with my IMs but I always try to respond to asks.

Take care! Rooting for you to get the treatment you need.