#i hope they survive and chuuya just remembers this so he can laugh his ass off

[starglow-xx]

hello! may i request headcanons for chuuya having a crush on someone who's dense? like he could ask them out in the most straightforward way possible and it would still go over their head?

yes, yes of course you may!

sorry this took so long! my computer was out of commission for abt a week (or two..??)

but this is also my birthday writing piece for chuuya!! (4/29/21) i even added a small drabble thingy in addition to the hcs for the occasion hehe

from where i am, it is about fifteen minutes past midnight so it’s officially chuuya day here!!

happy birthday chuuya i love you! you deserve the whole world and everyone is willing to fight tooth and nail to ensure your happiness! we love you! 💗💗

anyways, i hope you all enjoy this! i kinda had some writer’s block but it was still a lot of fun to write! there might be some mistakes, but i’ll scan over it again later. reader is gender neutral! have fun!

chuuya having a crush on a dense! reader

nakahara chuuya x gn! reader

im cackling somebody help him

he’s frustrated bc you can’t take a hint or a thousand but he can’t even be mad bc he’s whipped

“look at you all dressed up today, wanna go out later? my treat?”

“oh really? thanks chuuya-san! you’re such a nice friend. i’ll go invite the others right now, i’ll see you later!”

“...”

fast forward to later in the evening and he finds himself at a little restaurant with the black lizard + higuchi and akutagawa

sigh

in unison all of them go, “thank you for the meal chuuya-san!” (except aku and hirotsu are quieter & and gin just a nods hehe)

“no problem” (ꐦ ´͈ ᗨ `͈ )

gin only pats him on the back in sympathy

he spends a lot of time trying to think of ways to make it absolutely and undeniably clear that he has feelings for you

he always fails

“(y/n) i like you”

“i like you too chuuya-san”

“really?”

“mhm”

“t-then will you—”

“you’re a really great friend! and superior too”

“...nevermind”

“oh were you saying something?”

“nah, just forget about it”

tachihara is laughing in the corner of the corridor

dont worry, chuuya made sure to get back at him

chuuya’s been pinning after you for years and frankly, his failed attempts to woo you has lead everyone to the breaking point

and i mean everyone

yes, even aku

hell even dazai

but dazai also thinks it’s funny, so he doesn’t mind all that much

okay bye bye dazai-san this headcanon set isn’t abt you rn

PLEASE EVERYONE FEELS SO BAD FOR HIM

they knew even if he kissed you, you still might not get it

so they decided to help him

super secret mission get chuuya and (y/n) together is a go!

they’re still working on a proper mission name, don’t mind them

they had a super secret strategy meeting!

you can bet your ass that they nearly got nothing done

akutagawa & kaiji weren’t much help, neither was higuchi, mori, or elise

tachihara nearly got killed for a thoughtless comment

“just tell them chuuya-san!”

“i already fucking did you ass!”

gin, hirotsu, and kouyou were the most helpful !!

hirotsu and kouyou both agreed on the idea that chuuya should try courting with bouquets of flowers instead of flat out asking you bc they knew you found them pretty

(even if you don’t identify as a female, flowers are for everyone no matter gender or sexuality! so let’s normalize giving flowers to everyone <33 )

gin didn’t speak but she used cards to communicate

everyone knew that you weren’t stupid (you wouldn’t have survived in the mafia if you were) but they did know that you were only stupid when it came to all this lovey dovey stuff

i mean, if chuuya gave you flowers every so often, there’s no way that you wouldn’t piece it together at some point

right...??

but kouyou assured him that even though you wouldn’t get it right away, you’d appreciate the gestures and that he’ll stand out more

she even said that if someone gave her flowers, she would appreciate it, whether or not she reciprocated their feelings

it takes guts to be so up front with your feelings after all

gin and hirotsu only nodded with her explanation

once again, this only provoked a reaction out of tachihara

“what do you know gin? i get the old man and kouyou-san, they’re grown, but you? what do you know abt courting? or flowers? what are you a girl?”

akutagawa choked on his cough, higuchi on air, and on the other side of yokohoma at the ada, dazai is cackling

yes, dazai somehow placed a listening device onto chuuya’s hat and was listening in

don’t ask how, it’s dazai

“DAZAI GET YOUR BANDAGED ASS OFF THE COUCH AND STOP LAUGHING”

anyways

the next day, chuuya did what was barely discussed and for once, things actually started to look up

until they started look to down again

at first, it actually looked like you understood his intentions after he gave you a bouquet of flowers

literally everyone was leaning against the opposite hallway you two were in and then they got excited !!

especially chuuya !

but then your expression sort of changed...??

and then in their heads they simultaneously went, “oh no”

they knew that expression

it was very familiar when you tended to friend zone chuuya

but boy let me tell you what you said next made them facepalm and or make their jaws drop

“ah, so you really are friend zoning me huh chuuya-san; what a shame, i really did like you”

LEMME TELL YOU WHEN I SAY THAT CHUUYA WAS DISTRESSED I MEAN HE WAS DISTRESSED

you liked him??

him of all people??

he wasn’t complaining, no of course not, but he still couldn’t believe it

but that wasn’t what he was really focusing on right now

what in any form or language did it say he was friend zoning you?!

flower language apparently

chuuya chose to buy the bouquet of yellow roses, pink carnations, and yellow carnations bc he thought you would appreciate the brighter colors, and so that you’d remember them better (because remembering them, meant remembering him)

but ooh boy

altogether, they meant the exact opposite message he wanted to send

someone help him pls

“you see chuuya-san, yellow roses mean friendship, pink carnations mean gratitude, and yellow carnations mean rejection; sooo in a nutshell, these pretty much say ‘thank you for being my friend, but im rejecting you”

no one can tell if tachihara is crying or wheezing

and dazai is having the time of his life

yes, he started listening in on him again

and chuuya is just stunned

like speechless and unmoving stunned

is he just bad at this whole courting/dating thing?? it’s only been one day and of it and somehow he was the one doing the rejecting??

“thank you for the flowers chuuya-san, i’ll be going now; i’ll make sure to let this affect our friendship. i’ll see you tomorrow!”

you passed by the not so subtle group of people

“tachihara-kun..?? are you alright?”

just for context, he was leaning his forehead against the wall using his forearm

again, it was hard to tell whether he was crying or wheezing

“i-im okay (y/n)-san...i think c-chuuya-san has it worse than me”

“...okay..?”

BACK TO CHUUYA

he’s still frozen poor baby

but it’s okay bc after like 5 more seconds he’s chasing you down the hallway you were walking in

kouyou, with a knowing smile on her face, ushers everyone away towards the opposite direction

she received some whines (ahem, tachihara and mori) but silenced them by summoning golden demon

but it’s okay

if they run fast enough, they can see what happens through the security cameras

chuuya caught up with you and tried to explain everything but he was exhausted

emotionally, physically (bc since when did you walk that fast??), and generally just tired with the whole situation

he just wanted to call you his; was that too much to ask??

as explosive as he can be, he can be calm and collected too

and he really did try to be that way as he talked with you but it was very difficult at the moment

the dumbfounded and confused look on your face his face twitch with annoyance and his heart started beating faster bc god you were cute

BUT THATS BESIDES THE POINT RIGHT NOW

thank goodness after what seemed like years, you finally somewhat understood what happened

you didn’t understand completely but it was something

The two of you stood in the middle of the unusually empty hallway facing each other, you with the bouquet still in hand. It was quiet as you and Chuuya assessed the situation.

You looked at him skeptically and he stared right back you with his gorgeous blue eyes.

“...So you do like me Chuuya-san??”

“Yes”

“And you were trying to court me just now, not friend zone me??”

“Yes”

You got most of your questions out of the way, but there was something that you’ve been wondering about for quite a while.

“...So you’re not gay for Dazai-san??”

“Yes, im not wait—GAY FOR DAZAI?? THAT MACKEREL??”

Chuuya did a double take. What in heavens name made it seem like he liked that suicidal maniac?? Why would he choose him if he had you?

Like he would choose him anyways; or ever consider him as a possible romantic partner.

“Oh, so you are?”

“NO! I SAID I LIKED YOU DIDN’T I?”

“Well yeah, but I thought you liked Dazai-san too. As annoying as he is, he can be quite charming—”

He was out of patience at this point (nope definitely not because you were talking about Dazai who told you that?) and just decided to kiss you.

You immediately melted into the kiss and kissed him back with the same amount of love and feeling.

Letting the bouquet fall to the ground, you wrapped you arms around his neck and his put his on your lower back and brought you closer to him. After a few more moments, the two of you broke apart for air.

The two of you, slightly out of breath, leaned your foreheads against each other and just basked in each others presence.

Chuuya looked into your (e/c) eyes and asked you just a little bit above a whisper, “Now do you get my intentions and feeling?”

You blinked at him before breaking out into a grin, “Hmm I’m not sure; do you wanna do that again Chuuya?”

The red head only blinked back at you before rolling his eyes, a smile present on his handsome features, his heart fluttering at you using his name with the honorific.

“Dumbass”

Smiling cheekily at him, you pressed a kiss on his cheek and started dragging him towards the lobby to take a walk around the building perimeter, knowing that the two of you can’t be too far from work.

The way down to the lobby was mostly in comfortable silence until you said something that made Chuuya want to bash his head against the wall.

“You know, you could’ve just told me you liked me Chuuya. It’s not like I would’ve said no.”

Once again, as the rest of the more power mafia members watch from security cameras, it is hard to tell whether Tachihara is crying or wheezing of laughter.

omake !!

The two of you just started making your way around the building when suddenly a very familiar voice came from Chuuya’s prized hat.

“Chuuyaaaa!! It was about time you stopped being a chicken, Chibi!”

Removing his hat from his head, he started yelling at it not knowing exactly where the listening device was planted.

“TEME! HOW DID YOU—”

“And (y/n)! I would congratulate you, but I think I would rather offer you my condolences. Why him?! He’s just a slimy slug. OOH OOH how would you like to join me in a double suicide?! A shame it won’t be a lover’s suicide but it’ll annoy Chuuya so I think it’ll be worth it! ”

“YOU—”

“And please don’t kiss while I’m listening in. You made me lose my appetite! And it was such a shame! I was eating crab using Kunikida-kun’s money! Do you know what you’ve cost me?!”

“DAZAI YOU PIECE OF—”

“Ah! Kunikida-kun is here! I have to go!”

You can hear something is the background that vaguely sounds like, “DAZAI YOU WASTE OF BANDAGES STOP USING MY MONEY”

“DAZAI DON’T YOU DARE LEAVE IM NOT DONE WITH—”

*Click!*

The click sound from the hat revealed that Dazai disconnected.

Chuuya twitched and glared furiously at his signature hat hating that the voice he hated the most came out of it.

“Aww, I didn’t get to talk to Dazai-san”

Chuuya whipped his head towards you, a look of mock (or real) betrayal showing on his features.

You laughed at him before taking the hat out of his hands and placing it on his head.

He shyly looked away before muttering a thanks making you smile wider. Just as the two of you were about to start walking, a small explosion erupted from his hat; it was likely that Dazai made the listening device self destruct.

“DAZAI YOU BASTARDD”

At the Armed Detective Agency, a certain suicidal maniac hid from the wrath of his current partner as he thought about the wrath his old one.

“Hmmm I wonder if Chuuya would finally stop wearing his ugly hats if I blow all of them up...”

as always, reblogs and shares are appreciated! i hope you all stay safe! and just in case nobody told you they loved you today, i love you! you are enough! <3

writing belongs to me! please do not plagiarize! the reblog button is there for a reason

[silentnightafk]

Ballerinas Can’t Play Chess Part 2

"Did you... love me?"

"Chuuya-"

"Lie... to me."

"Just this once."

Warning: Major Character Death

Word Count: 1703

Read on AO3

The periodic dripping of the kitchen tap was the only sound that echoed throughout the hollow apartment. One would think that there was not a single living thing in this lifeless house, unless they glanced upon the broken man leaning against the wall as he sat on the floor, empty instant noodle cups and 2 nearly empty bottles of water littered around him. He stared unseeingly at the wall, occasionally tightening his clutch on the phone, letting the warm metal bite deeper into his palm. A gun laid on the other side of him, close enough to reach, but far enough so as to ensure it does not tempt him. Not yet, at least.

It had been 3 days since Dazai had raced to the airport in Kunikida's car, traffic laws be damned. Every red light crossed was another minute closer to Chuuya after all. He had hoped with desperation that he would make it in time, and prayed that Chuuya would listen. He should have realised. A few months was never going to be enough for Chuuya to leave the Port Mafia for him, even when they were throwing him to the dogs.

Chuuya was afraid of death. That haunted look in his eyes which he couldn't quite hide that day told Dazai enough. Yet, Dazai knew that Chuuya wouldn't leave. His loyalty to the mafia was far greater than his fear for death. And Dazai hated him for it. He hated him for being so selfless, hated him for finding a home at a place where Dazai had found nothing but pain. He hated him for choosing the mafia over his life, for throwing it all away at just one order. He hated Chuuya for choosing the mafia over him. But who was he to complain? After all, he was the one who left first.

Dazai wanted to believe that Chuuya would survive. He wanted to give himself hope that such a mission wasn't enough for Chuuya to just leave like that. Chuuya was passionate to a fault, caring even in a organisation where feelings were death's lure. He felt too much, cared too much, and yet was so strong that nothing could defeat him. Chuuya was a raging inferno, a blaze that could only diminish under the greatest of typhoons. He burned bright in a life of darkness, destroying anything and everythinf that stood in his way. A mere organisation, such a light downpour wasn't enough to snuff out a flame like him now. Right? A fire like Chuuya could never die so quickly.

But deep down inside Dazai knew that Chuuya was meant to die on this mission. A solo mission in a foreign country to destroy an organisation with an unknown amount of manpower. Chuuya was supposed to go down with it. This was all part of Mori's sick and twisted game.

"Remember this, Dazai." Mori had smiled at him, that sly, merciless smile.

"Betray me, and you'll wish you were never born."

Dazai had all but laughed then, at the mere age of 15, returning Mori's grin with a cold and empty one of his own.

"That's nothing special, I already wish I was dead."

"Oh, but Dazai." Mori's grin widened. For the first time in his life, Dazai felt a bone-chilling fear settle send a shiver down his spine. He kept his face controlled, and forced himself to stay rooted to the ground

"There are things way worse than death."

This was his checkmate. First was Odasaku. Now it was Chuuya. One by one, Mori slowly moved his pieces, playing them carefully. Dazai watched the chess board intently, convinced that he would win. The moment he left the mafia, he knew that he could never let himself be close to Chuuya ever again. But how could Dazai leave? Chuuya was the only one who ever made him felt genuine happiness, even though he never showed it. And Mori knew that. With Chuuya gone, Dazai would truly be in a state worse than death.

Music cut through the silence in the room, the lyrics of La Vie En Rose ringing out. Dazai snapped back to reality, picking up the phone immediately without checking for the caller.

"Chuuya-"

"Da..zai."

His heart froze in his chest, eyes widening slowly as his words died in his throat. Static came from the other side, the only sound. The battle was over it seemed. Tears began to roll down his cheeks as Chuuya's heavy breathing joined in the static, the only implication that he was still holding on, though barely.

There were a million things Dazai wanted to say, yet he couldn't find the proper words to use. His eloquence had all flown out the window the moment he picked up the call. He wanted to scream apologies, wanted to beg for him to hang on. He wanted to spill assurances and concern out of his mouth, and tell him that he would survive this, he would come home. But what was the point? Why spill lies when all it would leave is the heavy melancholic realisation of the harsh truth which is reality?

"Why has your voice gotten so small, Chuuya? Has it shrunk like your height?" It was the only thing Dazai could let himself say. If he strayed from this game of insults they played, he wouldn't be able to hold back his sobs.

"Shut up you... waste of bandages..." He huffed out a laugh, trying his hardest to suppress a sob that threatened to escape. He hated how small Chuuya's voice sounded, hated how it shook with effort and the excessive breaths he had to take to say just a simple sentence. He closed his eyes, imagining Chuuya's small body in his arms, both of them braving the cold wind of France together like they used to.

Silence settled between them again, the static and Chuuya's breathing the only sound once more. He let the tears continue to flow, but made sure that not a single sound escaped his lips. Chuuya didn't need to handle his crying ass right now. All he needed was a person by his side.

His tears fell faster as Chuuya's voice started getting shallower, and he knew time was running out. There was so much he wanted to say, so many things he wished he could do. Odasaku flashed before his eyes, his broken body drawing shallow breaths, and that body slowly transformed into Chuuya's, in the exact same state.

"Dazai." Chuuya's voice shocked Dazai out of his reverie, the strength in it coming as a shock.

"Did you... love me?"

His eyes widened at the question, tears stopping all at once. His grip on his phone tightened, an intense ache engulfing his body.

"Chuuya-"

"Lie... to me."

"Just this once."

He shut his eyes tight, wincing at the plea. Chuuya never begged, and Dazai never wanted to hear him beg. A man like him should never have to beg for something, not to anyone. Taking a deep breath, he steadied his breathing.

"I didn't love you."

A pause. Soft laughter started to travel from the phone, breathy and broken, followed by a series of coughs. He could hear the sobs that Chuuya tried to hold back, and the only sound on his side of the phone was the soft pitter patter of teardrops on wood.

"I'm sorry."

I'm sorry for leaving you.

When silence fell upon them again, Dazai moved for the first time in the day. He reaching his arm out towards the gun by his side, fingers steady on the trigger. Bringing it slowly to his temple, a click resounded as he released the safety. A sharp intake of breath travelled from the other side of the phone.

"Don't." Chuuya's voice was strained, like it took too much energy to choke the word out. His finger on the trigger froze, hand falling slightly. No. Don't do this to me Chuuya.

"Chuuya don't-"

"No!" Chuuya coughed once more, a wet sound like as though chocking on blood. There was not much longer left.

"What should I do?" His voice shook, his grip on the phone shaky as everything came crashing down on him.

"Live... please..." Tears sprang into his eyes again, the gun shaking against his temple.

"Live to continue to bring happiness to others. Live to stop another person from living the same wretched life as us. Live to fulfill your promise to Odasaku, and now your promise to me."

How a dying man was able to say so many things when he had so little time left was unbeknownst to anyone, but all one can say is that there were things more important than life and death. And in that moment, Dazai knew that he couldn't say no. And so all he did was loosen his hand on the gun by the temple, and made up his mind.

"I see."

"Wait for me, Chuuya."

He held onto the small chuckle that escaped through dying breaths, and held his own as he listened to Chuuya's breath slowly die out. Static was the only sound remaining on the other end as a scream echoed through the room, a cry for the what ifs and what could have beens. A crash of metal on concrete, the clatter of a gun thrown aside.

If he was there, he would have seen the small smile that spread dripping with blood. If he was there he would have noticed the way Chuuya grasped tightly on a bloodied photograph, staring at a smile so bright on a face with a bandaged eye with blurry eyes. He would have seen the slow mouthing of the words I love you on shaking lips, the tears that constantly rolled down to join the evergrowing puddle of blood underneath.

But he didn't. And so all he could hold onto was the final words of a man who made him feel from nothing to everything, to the words of a man who wanted nothing more to live and in his dying moments chose him to spend them with. And with that he whispered the same words as he did all those years ago to  another dying man.

"I'll do that."