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#i just felt like rambling for a very long time about my feelings and my blog
zoeyslament · 1 day
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Feeling sappy tonight, mutuals appreciation
Where to start other than with my very first mutual, @felt-squirrels aka one of the few people who was there during my newsies era which we've agreed not to talk about. yay!
and then @sydneyofalltrades who I think is probably my long lost sibling? like we are linked somehow, ily syd ur the best :)
then there's the rest of the rtc moots or at least people i met through rtc! @4pplec0re, @kittieshauntedourfantasy, @confess-thy-sin, @margo-mania, @gay-little-axolotl and several other people ily guys ur awesome :)
special shoutout to @spookysplatt for sharing multiple hyperfixations with me, also pls dm me when you watch workin boys i need to know your thoughts!
THE RP BUDDIESSSS!!! @lauterishotter (didnt wanna tag ur main), @jben073, @wonder-never-wander, and @pastriibunz who will hopefully be back soon!! some of my first friends in the hatchetfield fandom, thank you guys so much for being there
@raspberrysmoon, we've started talking more over the last little bit! thank you so much for helping me with my uhm...concerning writing. lets put it that way. also thanks for putting my fave on your fave characters list thats fire
@bellqmione zazz I gotta admit i was terrified of you for a long time but you're just one of the most amazing people I've met on here, all of your takes about Linda Monroe are correct, I wish you many Barnroe fics written in your honor
special shoutout to @cherrieguroo who put up with my oc + zoey ramblings for like 2 hours last night, that was absolutely awesome of you to do tysm
@ethereal-bumble-bee, @thecrabbybarista, @eldritch-flame, @alergic-to-peeple, and @saveugoodmadam, friends from my other site ily guys thank you for sharing 2 different hellsites with me
@fireworkss-exe, who got me into rtc and is basically the reason Im on Tumblr in the first place. also I JUST saw that your little about line thingy says 'i feel so sigma' and its sending me
@toastyquail this is your reminder to watch out for starepaw
and lastly, my love @well-liked-but-ineffectual. I'm on my puter rn so I cant type it but. butter emoji.
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34saveme34 · 9 hours
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MOST INCOHERENT MARWARE RAMBLING INCOMING
I'm so obsessed and I must talk because I love the amount of potential here
like it's. villain x hero's silly sidekick. that's hilarious
like think about it. Puzzles didn't quite get to Mario like to the others
babe's collateral and did he make Puzzles regret that
their dynamic
just the silly in general. I love the early time ship art "what those antennas do" hell if I know but Mario is keen to find out.
it's silly fun! really cute and fun, especially when it stop Puzzles in his tracks. When he expects fear or devotion and instead he gets such a weird and unexpected and chaotic form of adoration with which his heart (if it is still there) cannot handle. it's beautiful. Mario in general just having feelings for him. It's so good
but also I wanna explore the like, specific eroticism that you can put into the Hunt. The way how Mario hunts Puzzles because he craves Entertainment and he'll have it No Matter What, it's so disgustingly amusing and something I could think about forever. I never really understood this before but these 2 REALLY made me understand. Mario smashing every single TV on his way until he finds His One and the Hunt is over? I'm so fucked up, I'M SO F U C K E D
ngl I realise a certain part of the fandom would probably call me a freak for this. I'm calling them catholic guilt ridden
anyways!
the emotional. oh the emotional. Mario already had a different thing going on when it came to villains
I think he is like, the best candidate in general to help Puzzles in redeeming himself. Mario can be SO caring and like like like
it's just ONE facet of this, this isn't how it starts but over time it would become such an important part of this because he grows like, genuine attachment
but the most important thing in the beginning would be is that he's casual. He also has like. a very specific type of emotional maturity, which some people like to call inconsistent writing, I like to call it a quirk and acknowedge it with my whole heart
but it would like, allow the 2 to speak on like, more casual terms
where Puzzles isn't a danger anymore and Mario just so happens to be there at the right time, say the right words
the rights words for Mario to just so obviously see that Puzzles needs a friend so so badly and letting him have it
this once, maybe he can prove to be a cool friend
and oh would he.... oh my goooood would he aaaughgh
because at his core, like, Puzzles isn't evil for the sake of evil, he's evil to obtain what he wants
so like, if he isn't obtaining anymore kdsldlsk I bet he could be fun. Mario would make him touch grass, they would go places together, have some silly adventures together, some more chaotic than the other
a dynamic that would form between the 2 where Puzzles becomes just a bit too soft that he lets Mario get away with things he shouldn't
maybe even helps him because he finds it fun anyways
considering what he was before..... finding solace in chaos and forgetting perfection for a second there...... he finds perfection right beside him....... maybe like, for example in the middle of a food fight Mario causes because they gave him shitty spaghetti or something and Puzzles just seeing the glee on Mario's face over the fun chaos and just. Feeling something in himself. And he wouldn't, for a long time, realise that it's love. He never felt it before
I can almost imagine him turning to romantic movies and such, trying to figure out if the feeling fits. Because it's so so intense in him, he never felt anything like this. He can't talk to anyone about this, he has no other friends in all this. And oooh dhslksdjsd ooOOhOohK?,s,,s,s dsooooooooohhh,,, dsdldk
guys I think he would create. Idk I just think. ijust think .
having experiences in life now, things that just keep replaying in his head, as he is starting to have a life. he would create something from his own head. And it would be like a love letter to Mario. And he would GET IT. And by it I mean. You know. 😲😳😳😳😳😳😳don't make me say it............
okay okay.......!!! He would get Puzzles's homosexual ass.
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turtleblogatlast · 17 days
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Thinking about the Don Suave scene and what it means in terms of LGBTQ+ representation because my brain does nothing if not torment me with random topics to ramble about on the regular.
Anyway, I just wanted to ramble about why I like the scene but to get it out of the way - the scene can very easily be interpreted in so many different ways, and all of them are valid. I personally see it as Leo having at least some attraction to a man. And the following is an explanation of my own interpretation and thoughts on it and what it means especially for Leo’s portrayal in the grand scheme of things.
Long-winded interpretation under the cut!
Now, to start with, it’s important to me that in the scene Leo looks at Don Suave in the very beginning and then for the entirety of the rest of the time the man is on screen, Leo’s eyes are closed. Yet, in the end, he is still visibly enamored with Don Suave, happily cuddling up to him as he’s being carried away.
You can very easily interpret this as Leo being spellbound and that’s honestly super valid and I believe he likely was at least somewhat in the beginning, but considering how fast he looked away and how he never looked again, I personally think it makes more sense to read it as Leo just finding the man attractive, at least somewhat. (For the record, I personally headcanon Rise Leo as bisexual with a heavy preference for men, but I want to be blunt when I say that any interpretation is valid. Literally any. Ace, pan, gay, bi, none of the above or a mixture of something new literally all of it is more than okay and fair. Hell you could even interpret this entire scene as more romantic attraction than physical and it would still work. Anything goes!! Don’t bother people, guys, really.)
The main reason I take this scene to be at the very least LGBTQ+ adjacent isn’t just because of how it’s portrayed, but because of who Leonardo is. Not in terms of Rise of the TMNT, but in terms of the entire Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles™️ franchise.
Leo’s a character who, while changing with each iteration, has still at his core been around for decades upon decades as “the blue one”. One fourth of the team. He’s the one most are going to look at as the Leader, and oftentimes he is the one closest to having the title of Main Character. Not to say the others aren’t just as important, but Leo’s presence in the A plots of basically all TMNT media is often something very main character-esque.
And that’s very, very important to note. Here we have a Main Character of a prolific and decades long-running franchise distributed by a children’s television network. You can play around with his and his brothers’ characters all you like, but there is always going to be challenges to dodge around, especially since this was still in 2018-2019.
For example, you can play around with their designs so long as they’re color coded turtles, but their sexualities? Now that’s tricky.
“But what about Hypno and Warren?” Not main characters and also they’re Rise originals. They have a lot more room to play around with than a character like Leo does. But even talking about main characters in the franchise, you could arguably have an easier time playing around with Donnie or Mikey’s sexualities than Leo or even Raph, as (unfortunately) the former two tend to get more B plots, so they’d likely have had a little more leeway (still not a lot though.)
So, where does this leave us?
It leaves us in a place where outright stating and/or showing undeniable proof of Leo’s attraction to men is very, very difficult. So, workarounds!
Workarounds like the entire Don Suave situation.
To be honest, as left up to interpretation and lowkey and deniable as it is, this whole scene means a lot to me because of who Leo is as a character. It’s just nice when we get so see even the bare bones of representation with characters that have been such a large part of pop culture for decades, y’know? Even if more would be so much nicer, this is better than I thought we’d ever get for these boys.
And, again, literally nothing I’ve said is the only way to interpret it, I’m more than happy when people interpret media on their own honestly, it’s just something I’ve been thinking of lately and I was wondering if others felt the same way.
Whatever you think when you interpret this scene or Rise Leo as a whole, I just thought this would be interesting to think about, even if it was ramble-y, haha.
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strangewiggles · 7 months
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You were spilling all my will out I was bleeding my last brains It's nothing like the nothingness That normally numbs one's pain
Goodbye, oh goodbye
some closeups for you
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be-good-to-bugs · 1 year
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2023 / oh to be such a lesbian that your crush turns into a god and changes the laws of the universe itself in order to change your fate. meduka meguka you truly are like no other.
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stinkrascal · 1 year
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even though it was buried in the tags of my last text post, that text post was the first time ive ever admitted to any of my ocs having The Diagnosis which is also My Diagnosis which means ive just somewhat admitting to having The Diagnosis which is My Diagnosis and wow that was extremely nerve wracking but it also felt nice to get it out there. this is my coming out post i guess
#definitely gonna delete this later i just wanted to ramble for a minute#idk why but this specific diagnosis was the most difficult thing to come to terms with#being diagnosed with adhd and bpd that was nothing but THIS ONE? it ruined my life for at least a few months#which is so silly bc when other people have this diagnosis i think nothing of it#but when its Me it just brings out this horrible complex inside of my heart#so having an explanation for that kinda stung you know. but hey its there now#a lot of this journey has just been me trying 2 unlearn the harmful stereotypes abt myself as far as The Diagnosis is concerned#and learning to treat myself kindly in spite of my insecurities which at times feel like a direct byproduct of my diagnosis. its a lot#but yeah. Yeah. idek what im trying to say anymore#shoutout to my homies who felt like aliens their entire childhoods only to be diagnosed later in life we are so strong and whatever#kisses you on the forehead#also tbh it feels good to project it onto my ocs. it makes me feel better about myself#making brie autistic as shit makes me feel more normal because in my head im like well shes living her best life. why cant i#and all the straud kids too. theyre still living their best lives and theyre totally confident w themselves and they accept their diagnosis#and they accept its just a part of them you know!! nothing to be ashamed of. so why cant i#THIS IS SO LONG IM SORRY im very emotional right now. ik this is kinda weird but i really want to find the confidence#to talk about this without feeling embarrassed about myself. autism rocks !#this is literally the autism website idk why im nervous right now you are all literally autistic why am i so nervous LOL
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yo9urt · 4 months
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beat beegee three last night!
#mine#VERY LONG TAG RAMBLE INCOMING. WATCH OUT#anyway. i was and am absolutely blown away#i understood why its so beloved basically as soon as i started playing it but by the time i got to the end iw as like yeah#this deserves goty and all the actors and writers and everyone who worked on it deserves every award and 1 trillion dollars#it could be because of recency bias lol but i think late act 3 ended up being my favorite section of the game#which i wasnt expecting! lots of people seem to dislike it and i understand why (frame drops + overwhelming amount of content etc.)#but idk i really loved it. the iron throne and house of hope alone (i did those a couple days ago) were STELLAR#yesterday's tasks included killing gort and then going to the morphic pool and finishing the game and i was just enraptured the whole time#the morphic pool and everything that comes after it were just INCREDIBLE#one of the things that stuck out to me the most about the game the entire time i played it but *ABOVE ALL* in act 3#was the way it makes the stakes feel REAL#the companions are so well written and well acted that i felt genuine attachment to them and they had huge emotional impacts on me#like when i got to the pool i was actually kind of afraid of whatever was coming (i had a rough idea of WHO i would meet)#(but not what would happen or how the fights would go)#and when i turned to my companions and i was like umm. do you think we can do this#and shart was like yes we can :) think of everything we did. that wasn't luck that was US#and la3'z3l was like 'THE GITH WILL BE FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' i was like YES MAAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#and i felt so reinvigorated like i was still nervous but i was like well if they believe in me i can do anything#and i am#1 lae'zel defender (not that she needs a defender because shes insane in battle but you know)#so when she was like WE WILL WIN i was like OKAY!! YES WE WILL!! WHATEVER YOU SAY MAAM!! I LOVE YOU!!!#shes so cool shes like my awesome best friend who is not real but i love her anyway#shart is also my best friend but in a different way (i like to think her and my character just bonded really hard over the course of the st#ry especially both being half elves idk i just love them and by the end it seemed like they built a really beautiful friendship)#anyway back on topic. the stakes felt real because of the companions AND because of the npcs and attention to detail#for rp purposes i had my character keep a few notes in his inventory that were just from random unspecified npcs#but they were like 'dont let gortash win' 'i dont want to die to the absolute cult' etc. as like a remember what you're fighting for thing#i just felt so strongly pulled into the world of the game the whole time especially at the end i was like holy fuck#i gotta save all these people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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banditosong · 9 months
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Tonight by Tyler Joseph is what I'm feeling rn
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aroacedavestrider · 1 year
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Worried for you every time I see your system bitchcount go up. Get well soon yall
hrk well…! hiya im yoi!! (yoimiya genshin) and im answering this one cause im the most recent split hehe. honestly its kinda like….. i dunno were just trying to cope with stuff i guess! i split back toward the end of our fall semester when shit suddenly got really bad after a really good period, (im talking grade dropped from an 85% to a 59%!!! yikes) and, well…….im naturally a cheery person! so i think thats just kinda what we needed during a time of extreme stress and disappointment and i know i am sure happy to provide!!
last time someone split before me was shoby (shinobu genshin) and that was back in may when we were finally kicking our really cringe ex to the curb anddddd we needed a strong assertive force to do it! and shobys been really good at actually getting us in the mindset to sit down and do important tasks ever since. :)
so yeah it does suck that a lot of the time we come about cause something huge happens and were like “uh oh, how do we cope with this?” but i think were here for the better and were all like a little family! im happy to be here and im happy to introduce myself to daves friends on tumblr dot com!! and thank you for your concern too, were doing better ^^
🎇 yoi 🎆
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mrs-kelly · 1 year
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Hiiiii I just woke up from a long afternoon nap with Charlie and I’m so loveydovey, I’m so soft, I love him so much that my heart is gonna explode 🥰
#it’s been a good long while since I’ve been able to just lay down and hug my pillow and pretend like I’m chilling with Charlie 🥰#I mean maybe a little more than a week ahfkfl but when you’ve been together for like a month a week is a long time 😂#anyway ahdjfl I didn’t really dream about him I don’t think#but the whole time I was sleeping it felt like I was in his arms and that was rly nice 🥰#I woke up and it was like I could feel his presence with me; it was so so nice ❤️#that’s the thing about Charlie. it’s part of why I feel so strongly about him#he’s so easy to imagine; his vibe is very easy for me to conjure#if I believe he’s with me while I’m sleeping then it feels like he is#and right now it really feels like I just woke up next to him so 🥺💕 I feel so soft 🥺💕#I’m still all snoozy so I might be rambling a bit but#I’m just gonna say it. I think if there’s ever gonna be an f/o that can capture all of my attention. it’s gonna be Charlie#and I’ve thought it before about a lot of f/o’s and it didn’t turn out to be true but#there’s something completely different about my relationship with him#I just. I feel like Charlie would really be crazy about me#of course sometimes I doubt bc that’s what I do but#even when I was doubting it wasn’t that he loved me. it was whether I deserved him#there’s actually no doubt in my mind that Charlie would want to be with me#and in turn I’m head over heels for him#every day I wake up and I just wanna be with him so much#and he makes me laugh and he makes me happy and I love to talk about him#and I just think. if I’m ever gonna reach a point in my life where I ‘settle down’ so to speak shfkfl it’s gonna be with him#idk ahfjfl I’m still snoozy tho so maybe I’m not making sense#just know that I love Charlie a lot ok ❤️ ahdkfl#ren speaks#renlie#im gushing out here folks
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timeisacephalopod · 1 year
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Love atheist communities that hate Christianity but reproduce every single issue Christianity has right down to the racism, wild misogyny, and of all fuckin things evangelizing atheism by sending religious people rude ass 'gotcha' type reactionary content to like idk, recruit people to atheism the way Certian Brands of Christian recruit literally anyone to their religion.
Like yes this atheism is what I see a lot of white men participating in, but like how dense do you have to be to only ditch the GOD part of religion and nothing else while claiming you're intellectually superior to religious folks like a great many incredibly talented and smart people in various sciences weren't religious?
#winters ramblings#its so funny that the so called 'skeptic' communities on youtube and reddit claimed ti be SOOOOO skeptical of things#but never took a fuckin second to check their misogyny or racism and badically applied shite christian values to everything they do#but think they arent doing that because they openly denounce god. like bestie youre doing ALL the same shit i have a problem with#in teligious spaces except you have the balls to claim youre inherently smarter and more intellectual#which is why youre SO SMART you cant figure out how to be a halfway decent human being#like its so funny when i see athiests like this around where it feels like religion is the only thing they felt held them back#and not in the ways PoC queer people and women deal with- THEIR athiesm is usually rooted in#'christians told me i was black because i have the curse of ham and thats fucking racist as shit' or some other discrimination event#plus your average religious truama and in my case just a lack of desire to participate in religion and also no belief in it#but then you have white dudes whove never had a real problem in their life doing all the same shit as them Nasty Christians they rail on#without a H I N T of the irony while also wondering why it is that their spaces seem so... homogeneous lmao#almost like women PoC and queer people know all you did was reject the GOD bit not any of the underlying discrimination tendencies#no need for them to unpack that i guess because theyre Very Smart Skeptics they dont seem to think#that they believe just as much dumb shit as any religious or non religious folks out there except theyre insufferable about it#also the nonsense of science being inherently opposed to religion like tell me you know nothing about the history of science#without saying you have NO IDEA what youre talking about. so much science was trying to understand gods creations#science and god arent diametrically opposed to each other and in fact went hand in hand for a long time#not as much any more but ill bet a huge number of scientists are still religious because being smart#doesnt mean youre an athiest like HELLO youre not smarter than anyone for not believing in god#the same way you arent smarter or better FOR believing in god lmao
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sheogorad · 2 years
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ohhh man. reading soft harrykim fic and i just... ohhhhhhh god. i am a decorated member of the homo-sexual underground. and i am extremely touch starved.
#there is just... something about them#they're like. they're guys. they're literally old men. and they're masculine. and they love each other. they're men in love.#it's fic where they're masculine men being gentle and soft with each other. and i just. i feel so... oh my god#like i don't know how to properly describe it but this is like the first time in forever that i'm Shipping something to the point of#reading fic about it. and the last time it ended up being like... i was writing my own as a way to figure out my gender and sexuality so#it ended up morphing into this thing that is very distinctly Not Masculine as a whole#it's hard to describe but i projected a lot of pain as well and it just. it served a purpose but it's not who i am now? and it doesn't#represent what i want in my life now if that makes sense. but harrykim does and it just sends me to this place... i just Yearn#i haven't felt so deeply emotional about fictional characters in a long while and i certainly haven't read fic in a long time#so like reading fic that's just. two middle aged men who are both masculine and are independent people with problems and emotions just...#it is sending me y'all like. obviously some of the fics are really not great and enforce roles and personalities that just. suck. and are#super ooc as well. but the ones that i've been enjoying are so balanced and just make me crave a relationship so fucking bad#like i know i'm projecting again but it feels different and better this time and it's just. they're MEN. OLD MEN. MASCULINE.#there's no weird power dynamic in the fics i like. they're equals with personalities and problems and they're MEN. i'm just. this is really#getting to me now that i'm way further into my transition and am very firm around my gender and sexuality. /I/ am a masculine man. i am#am a homosexual adult male who is masculine who loves other masculine men. i'm not macho. i'm masculine. and i love that in other men#so reading about it is just... my BRAIN!!!!! mha HART!!!!!!!! mah SOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i know i'm rambling i just... i am Yearning so Deeply and i just want what they have... i wanna be an old man in love w another old man...#where is my hdb. like yas king we stan a recovering alcoholic who is working on being a better person and moving past his traumaaa#also...... dad bod...... facial hair.......... i even love The Expression............... and he's DISCO............ I Want Him.#i could fix him........ i could make him better................ i could disco with him.................... no one look at me i'm YEARNING#anyway it's 4am so lmaoadso goodnight i'm gay as fuck sdjakaflh#.txt
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itsamarlfox · 11 months
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Everyone saying across the spider verse changed them as a person this is me every time I watch contact I'm going to go feral
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nathaslosthershit · 2 months
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A Much Needed Interview (OP81)
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(Part 2 of Teen Dad) Summary: After the shock of Oscar revealing himself to be a former teen dad, he joins an interview in the hopes of clearing everything up and limiting the overwhelming amount of questions he has been getting.
“Oscar, it is nice of you to sit down with us. I know it has been an interesting few weeks for you and your family. How are you guys all doing?” The interviewer asks.
‘Yeah, y’know, I had expected to one day have to open up about it all, but I never thought I’d have to do it the way I did. It has been fine, obviously my kids are young enough to not be impacted because they aren’t on social media, but it has been strange for my fiancée who is now getting hundreds of requests on her private account. I have sort of decided to take a break from social media because the response has been overwhelming and like none before. Mostly positive but I think a few people have gotten the wrong idea so I was hoping to clear everything up.” Oscar rambled. He was more nervous about this interview than any he had done before.
“Of course. Why don’t we start at the beginning, how did you and your fiancée meet?”
“We actually met at one of my races. She went to support one of her close friend’s brothers. After the race that I sadly didn’t do too well in, I saw her with her friend and I was kinda frozen in my spot, immediately head over heels. Sadly, it seems like everyone but her noticed. I was too scared to do anything so I just watched her leave. I think I sulked for days, totally regretting my decision to do nothing. A totally heartbroken 16 year old. I looked for her every single race until she finally came back a few months later.”
“Oh please tell me you finally got the confidence to shoot your shot.”
“Nope! I just stared at her and stuttered when she caught me looking then ran off. I then had an amazing race, I think part of me was just trying to make up for the embarrassment and luckily it seems my car got the memo. After the race she came up to me and asked for my number.” God, he was blushing profusely at the memory. He knew he would be getting slack for this for a very long time. 
“Such a story! The young Oscar Piastri was no ladies’ man.”
“He was absolutely not. Soon after we started dating.” Oscar awkwardly laughed, sensing what was about to come up.
“And then kids came shortly after?” The interviewer asked with care in his voice, certainly able to sense Oscar’s change in attitude.
“Yeah. Uh, obviously not planned. I don’t think many people plan to become parent’s at 18. It was a shock… I didn’t handle it the best at first, something I think I will always regret. She was scared and while so was I, I should have been more supportive. I was embarrassed for a while. Felt like a total idiot. I didn’t tell anyone outside of my family and made them swear to secrecy. I also began to isolate myself from friends because I couldn’t bring myself to tell them but also felt terrible lying. A few months in I finally snapped myself out of it and began to focus on all the wonderfulness that was to come. I loved her more than anything and I would be lying if I said I hadn’t already imagined a life together in great detail. By the time we found out it was twins, a boy and a girl, I was ecstatic.”
“Well mate, I don’t blame you for your feelings. I definitely would have been a terrible father at 18 so I salute you.” The interviewer joked.
“Honestly, I had the same thought for a while, even when I was excited to have kids. I had so many doubts about it, I mean how could I not? But when it came down to it, I couldn’t afford to be anything less than a great father. Of course I had my moments, and still do years later, but I wouldn’t be able to let myself be anything less than I am. If you love your kids enough, you find a way.”
“How did having kids so young impact your career? Obviously it didn’t hurt it too much considering you are in your second year driving in Formula 1.”
“Well, I decided I wouldn’t advertise my situation unless a team was very serious about me. Prema knew, Alpine did too and of course McLaren does. All were welcoming and accommodating, as much as they could be. I don’t think I would have gone with any of them if they weren’t cool with it though. I realized the minute my kids were born I would give it all up for them, which scared the hell out of me.”
“That is admirable. All these years later you are still with their mother, correct?”
“Yes! I asked her to marry me over break. Everyone close to us had been confused as to why it took so long but we had discussed marriage together many times and made the decision that because our relationship moved so fast with having kids so young, we would wait a bit. I mean, we are still young but I honestly couldn’t wait any longer. She is everything to me and the most wonderful mother my kids could have.”
“Have your kids been around the paddock yet? I assume they are old enough to understand what you do.”
“They have been to the factory and come with me to meetings when we haven’t had a sitter for them. Luckily, they are both very well behaved in public, they also really like watching the races on tv and have somewhat of an understanding of what I do. They don’t believe I actually drive the car though.” Oscar rumbled. Trying to convince his twins that yes, their father actually does drive the cars they see going super fast, has been an ongoing issue. They seem to believe he is tricking them but have no problem believing Uncle Logan and Uncle Lando drive the cars. It has definitely humbled him immensely.
“Well you will have to fix that soon huh? Will they be attending races in the future?”
“I am trying to work that out with my fiancée actually. They are almost four so we don’t want them traveling too far, I also don’t believe they will be able to be entertained solely by the race the entire time so we have a lot to deal with. But I think seeing them on the paddock supporting me will be one of the best moments of my life. I selfishly can’t wait for them to come.”
The interview wrapped up shortly after that. Getting to reminisce on the start of his relationship and how far they have come and how many wonderful things are in the future put Oscar in a deliriously happy mood. He couldn’t wait to get home to his family. 
Walking through the door, he was immediately welcomed to the sound of toddler meltdowns. Fully entering the house, he saw his very tired fiancée rubbing her face as she tried to calm her babies down. Clearly this had been going on for a while.
Despite how upset she looked, she immediately perked up at seeing Oscar had returned. But that immediately went away as she remembered the screaming kids and how messy the house and herself were.
“Sorry honey, I know you are probably so tired after the interview and meetings earlier and these two missed their nap so they are so cranky and I just-” He cut her off with a kiss. Once he pulled away she looked at him, perplexed. A kiss from Oscar was never unwelcome but it was the last thing she expected at that moment.
“Hey, look at me.” He said as he put a hand on her cheek. “I love you and our little family so much and you never, ever have to apologize for something as trivial as this. Why don’t you go get in the bath and relax a little and I will try to wrangle these two, okay?” 
In her eyes, Oscar had never been hotter than he was now. Now it was her turn to surprise him with a kiss, even more passionate than the first. They would have continued if it hadn’t been for more screaming from their two kids.
Still, Oscar wouldn’t change a thing.
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steddieas-shegoes · 1 month
Text
Steve got the tattoo the day they held the very small, very secret service for Eddie.
He knew he had to get it somewhere hidden, didn’t wanna answer questions, not even from Robin.
The E+S on his upper thigh was precious to him, all he had left of the promises they made to each other as children and again as teenagers.
Eddie was Steve’s, even if he wasn’t here, and Steve would always be Eddie’s, even if Eddie no longer knew.
But eventually, the end of summer came, and the kids wanted to have something normal. Normal for them was a pool party that ended in a sleepover, and Steve didn’t have much choice about making it happen.
He wanted them to have something normal.
So he got his bathing suit on, forgetting the tattoo was in a spot that might show in it, and tried to have fun with them.
Robin noticed and then Max noticed, and once he’d tried getting out of the explanation twice in a row, Dustin and Will noticed.
So he just explained that he lost a dare with Tommy years ago and that got them to stop asking.
But he found himself crying in the shower that evening, trying his best not to make any noise as sobs wracked his body and it got harder and harder to breathe.
The only thing that snapped him out of it was the knowledge that Eddie would want him to go back downstairs to be with the kids. He wouldn’t want to see Steve like this.
He kissed his fingertips and pressed them to his tattoo, just like he’d done every single day since he got it.
And then he went downstairs to be with the kids.
His one rule during sleepovers at his house was he still go to sleep in his own bed. Sometimes Robin would join him, but most of the time, he slept alone.
He couldn’t sleep.
He could feel the exhaustion deep in his bones, but every time he closed his eyes and tried to drift, he’d get an overwhelming feeling of being watched.
His eyes would open and he’d look around, confused and frustrated.
And nothing would be there.
Which was good, great even. He didn’t want there to be anyone or anything there. But he did want an explanation for this feeling.
He sat up in his bed and sighed.
Maybe he could-
Something was definitely in his bathroom. The door had been closed earlier, like it always was, and now it was halfway open.
The light was off.
Steve stood from his bed silently, crept to the bathroom with his nail bat raised, and considered what would happen if he died up here.
“That’s a depressing thought even for your melodramatics, sweetheart.”
Steve barely resisted screaming at Eddie’s voice.
“Oh god. I’ve finally fuckin’ lost it,” he said as he turned the bathroom light on.
“I dunno. You still got it, baby. Even if you lost some weight in your ass.”
Eddie, or something that looked and talked like Eddie, was sitting on the sink in the bathroom.
“I did like those little swim trunks, though. Hope you wear those again for me.”
“What the fuck.”
“You know, that’s exactly what I said when I woke up alive. Kinda thought I was dying. Imagine my surprise when I didn’t.”
Steve held his bat tighter.
“Eddie? How?”
Eddie hopped off the sink and stepped closer, slowly, so he wouldn’t scare Steve.
“Not sure. But it’s not the craziest thing that’s happened.” Eddie wanted to touch him, Steve could tell. His hands were clenching into fists to resist. “I know I’m not human, but I’m close enough, I think.”
“Close enough for what?”
“To love you.”
Steve dropped the bat and fell against Eddie, burying his face in his neck and breathing him in, not caring about the dirt or sweat or grime clinging to his skin.
It was Eddie, and he’d take him any way he could have him.
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I’ve been trying to get back here for so long.” Eddie’s arms held him tight enough to bruise. “Won’t happen again, won’t leave you again.”
Steve’s sobs were loud, but trying to contain them physically pained him. He’d been in enough pain for months. He had to let these out.
He felt Eddie waving his hands behind him, but then heard Robin’s rambling and decided to turn.
“-and he’s been distraught for months but didn’t tell me anything and then I saw his tattoo earlier and I thought, well, must just be a joke you guys had. And then I was like, no, can’t be, because you barely spoke. Or at least I thought you did. Clearly I’m wrong. I’m super wrong. Wrongest I’ve ever been maybe.”
“Robs.” Steve’s choked voice silenced her. “You know how I told you to go for it with Nancy because I really didn’t have feelings for her?”
“I don’t see how this is relevant, but yeah.”
“She protected me, both of us, really, so we could be together. Offered to pretend to date me so no one would get suspicious.”
“Steve. Steve Harrington. You had a beard?”
Eddie snorted. “I know you said she was funny, but I’m pretty she’s my second favorite human now.”
Steve rolled his eyes. “Yeah. I’ve been with Eddie for forever. I mean, since we were kids practically.”
Robin was silent. A rare thing for her.
“Robin?”
“Sorry, just taking this in.”
“Yeah, Eddie being alive is a lot-“
“Not that. That is gonna come a lot later once I stop and think about the fact that he’s some kind of zombie.” Robin leaned against the doorway. “The fact that I came out to my best friend and he didn’t return the favor. That is queer code, Steve.”
Eddie laughed, and Steve let out another sob. He’d missed him so much, missed his laugh, his arms around him, his heartbeat-
“Eds. Eddie.” Steve lifted his head and pressed both hands to his chest. “You-“
“Ah. So I don’t seem to have a heartbeat anymore. As far as I can tell, I did actually die.” Eddie shrugged as if this news wasn’t absolutely insane. “So my best guess is vampire since I prefer blood to brains. But I can get by without it for a pretty long time.”
“How long?”
“Well, I haven’t had any since the day I woke up. Which is a few months according to your calendar.”
Robin held her hands up. “I’m going. Good luck. The kids are gonna flip.”
“Do not tell them. Not yet.”
Steve needed tonight, needed to have Eddie to himself before everyone else stole it for a while. He wanted to be selfish for the first time in a very long time. He knew Robin would understand.
“Sure thing. But you’re gonna have to be quiet. You’re lucky none of them heard you crying.”
Steve nodded and curled back into Eddie, placing a kiss against his neck.
“Glad you’re back Eddie,” she said as she left.
“I need a shower,” Eddie said. “Think it’ll wake the kids?”
“Nah. They slept through a tree falling in the yard last month during a storm. Just need to be quick,” Steve pulled away to start grabbing what he’d need for a shower, but Eddie pulled him back on, running his nose along his neck and sending chills down his spine.
“You wanna join me?” He asked.
“Of course I do. But we won’t be quick if I join you,” Steve smiled.
A real smile. One he realized he hadn’t had on his face since spring break.
“You wanna wait in bed for me, then?” Eddie beamed back at him.
“Can I stay in here? I don’t-“ Steve sighed. “I don’t wanna leave you.”
Eddie’s smile softened into something endeared. “Yeah, sweetheart. You can stay. Talk to me. Tell me what I missed.”
Steve told him about everything he could while he showered away the Upside Down grime, watching his shadow behind the glass door of the shower to make sure it never disappeared.
They made sure the bedroom door was locked before crawling into bed together, Steve laying on top of Eddie like he always did before.
He was heavier, but Eddie never cared.
Steve slept so long, Eddie had no choice but to go downstairs in the morning so no one would wake him up.
The chaos that ensued was nothing short of overwhelming, but Eddie didn’t mind.
He was happy to back with all the kids, even if they asked incredibly inappropriate questions about his body to find out what he was.
When Steve finally came down, he was still half asleep and barely registered the open-mouth stares of everyone as he came up to Eddie and rested his head on his chest, wrapped his arms around his waist.
Eddie smiled down at him and kissed the top of his head.
“Morning, sunshine.”
“Morning, baby.”
“Sunshine?!” Dustin yelled.
“Baby?!” Mike yelled louder.
“Make them go away,” Steve sighed against his neck.
“You don’t wanna explain?” Eddie asked him, half joking.
“Not today. Scare them or something.”
“You think Eddie can scare us? We’ve all almost died!” Lucas said.
“Fine. Eddie and I are together, have been forever. The tattoo on me is our initials. Get out of my house.”
The kids just stared at them in silence until Steve finally turned from Eddie and put his hands on his hips.
“I wasn’t asking. Get out.”
The kids scrambled to leave, making promises (threats) to come back soon.
Robin waved as she walked out with them, throwing them both a wink and knowing smile.
“So how long do you think we have until they come back?” Eddie asked, rocking them back and forth gently.
“Few hours maybe.”
“I can do a lot in a few hours,” Eddie nipped at Steve’s ear, making him shiver and laugh.
“You got super strength with your new life?” Steve grinned at him.
“I wouldn’t call it super, but I could definitely carry you back to bed.”
Steve jumped up and wrapped his legs around Eddie’s waist, arms around his neck.
“Carry me to bed, then, Eds.”
“Anything your heart desires, Stevie.”
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medium-rare-bimbo · 9 months
Text
Mean! Perv! Billy Hargrove x innocent! Pastor daughter! Reader
♡masterlist♡
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MINORS DNI
Contains: Dub con, somnophilia near the end
༺*:゚・✧・:*:゚・♡ readmore ♡・゚:*:・✧・゚:*༻
♡ He would see you around town with your short dresses and the rosary hanging around your neck
♡ he thought you were so cute but you stayed away from him like the plague, your father told you all about billy hargrove how he was a womanizer, too consumed by lust, how he was no good.
♡ you had never actually spoken to billy, you had made eye contact a few times but you would quickly run off, that is until he was dragged to your father's church by his dad
♡ there he saw you standing near your mother at the front of the church, while your father gave a speech about something he didnt care about. He watched your doe eyes wonder around the church paying more attention to the stained glass windows
♡ he came up to you as everyone was talking, he stalked behind you noticing you were nervously playing with your fingers as if you didnt know what to do with your hands. You jumped when you felt his breathe on your neck
♡ shocked to see billy Hargrove of all people behind you, he cornered you against the wall trapping you from escaping.
"I- um cant talk right now m-my dad is probably wondering where I am I have to go-"
"Hold your horses princess, I just want to talk about our lord and saviour"
"You can talk to my dad he- um he knows a lot more than me"
♡ he somehow manages to keep you talking to him, enough to get you to ramble and prolong the conversation
"That is a lovely dress, it looks so beautiful you"
"Thanks my mom got it for me- actually she gets all my clothes, I'm not allowed to buy myself clothes without her permission- BUT I- i dont mind, I like what she picks out, makes me look nice a-and I dont like choosing things I'm very indecisive and I would probably be there all day so I'm actually happy she chooses my clothes because-"
♡ he simply stares at you while you talk not interrupting simply listening to you speak. He knows he makes you nervous, the way your eyes dart everywhere except his is laughable
♡ unfortunately the conversation is cut short by your father and his dad
"Billy hargrove, come to make a mockery out of my daughter?"
"No sir I've actually seen the light, your daughter was just telling me about you gorgeous church and how much of a loyal man you are to god. Honestly sir I have so much respect for you"
"I- well thank you- I've been doveted to our lord for as long as I remember it's nice for someone to finally acknowledge my efforts. I'm happy to help you find your way to god and banish those demons for good, your father and I were just talking about hanging out at my house perhaps you can come along, I'm sure Y/N is happy to help you with your journey"
"That would be lovely sir"
♡ who knew it sould be so easy to get access to you when he fuel your father's ego?
♡ the next week billy happily went over to your house, you were sat at the dining room table with a bible infront of you as well as some other books and sheets once again refusing to make eye contact with him as your father lead him to you.
♡ you meekly asked him a few questions about how much he knew and where he would like to start off on
"Wherever you would like doll"
♡ billy didnt pay attention to anything you were saying this time, too busy looking at the photos around your house and the decor. He only looked back at you when stumbled over your words and looked like you were on the verge of tears
"What's wrong sweetheart? You okay?"
"I- um I just dont think I'm the person you should be doing this with- i- I dont know why my dad put you up to this- I've never done this before I dont know what I'm doing"
♡ he smiled as tears rolled down your cheeks, your lips forming a pout which sent a shock down to his forming hard on. He placed his hand on your thigh causing you jolt
"That's okay, you're doing so good for me already. I already feel like a worthy man"
♡ you placed your hand on top of his, playing with his fingers as he massaged circles into your soft skin.
♡ he slid his hands further between your thighs, now feeling up your flesh and slowly making his way to the flower in between your legs
"Y-you cant do that you shouldnt be touching there- I- were not married- I'm going to go to hell if you do that-"
♡ you made no actual attempt at removing his hand, simply holding his wrist as he stared at you smirking, he glanced around to see if anyone was near.
"You're not going to hell it's not like we're doing anything against the lords rules, I'm just touching you. It cant be bad if it feels good, can it?"
♡ he grazes his lips over yours letting you smell the cigarettes and mint gum on his breathe, soon removing himself from you and turning to the table as the adults walk in
"Everything going okay In here?"
"Absolutely sir, Y/N here was just telling me about easter"
♡ your meetings soon became a scheduled event and nothing else had happened since that first meeting
♡ that was until your father had left you alone with billy, a horrible mistake on his part
♡ when he first noticed the quietness in the house he was worried he got the wrong date that is until you meekly walked out of the shadows and lead him to your usual spot at the dining table
"Where's your parents?"
"Hes out with your dad I- i think they're fishing.."
"What about your mom?"
"Shes at her book club..."
♡ the giddiness in billy was comparable to a child on Christmas. over the weeks he had gained your trust, convincing you that he was serious about god
♡ so when he suggesting going to your room instead you agreed (although hesitantly)
♡ walking into your room he immediately noticed the cross hanging above your canopy bed which was pushed against the wall. The curtains around it almost highlighted your sleeping area.
♡ he quickly noticed how embarrassed you were, perhaps it was the stuffed toys, or the light colours, or the photos on the walls?
♡ you ushered him on the bed quickly preferring him to not stare at the immature state of your bedroom, although you would prefer posters of your favourite singers, pictures of your friends you were unable to at wishes of your father
♡ much like your first meeting billy let's you ramble, his eyes focused on your lips, he isnt sure what you're talking about especially when you bite your lip when reading out your notes
"Have you ever kissed someone before?"
♡ the question makes you choke on your breathe, whipping your head to face him. spluttering out a sentence
"What?! Why would you ask me that?! I- cant kiss anyone- I- I'll be in so much trouble- I'm not allowed to kiss anyone-"
"Would you like to?"
♡ that quickly shut you up as you looked up at him, he tilts his head at you and moves closer to you, his breath making goosebumps rise on your skin
♡ he kisses your unresponsive lips, too shocked at what is happening to kiss back (not that you knew how)
♡ when he pulled back you were staring at him, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape. He grabbed your stuff and set it on your vanity, his hand traveled to your side and pushed you on your back
♡ he towered over you, your breath hitching in your throat, his arms either side of your head. He leaned down and pressed his lips against yours, it took a while for you to relax and try to follow his movements but you eventually got the hang of it.
♡ just as the man himself things got rough quickly, his hand in your hair and his tongue entering your mouth. You melted against him wrapping your arms around Billys shoulders
♡ when you broke apart for air your lips were puffy and swollen, billy was looking no better his hair was disheveled and his eyes were half lidded.
♡ he kissed the side of you face travelling to your jaw then towards your neck, where you gripped his shirt as he licked a stripe over your neck.
♡His hands wondered down to your chest, pulling your sundress down to reveal your bra to him
"Wait! Wait wait I- billy i cant- we shouldnt be doing this we should stop"
"Sh sh shhh just take what I give you"
♡ his hands continued their exploring, flipping your bra to reveal your soft nipples, leaning down his breath soon hardened them making you whimper
♡ he kissed your right nipple while rolling the left in his hand, the hand unattended drifted down your thighs and under your dress
"Billy stop- we cant do this i- I- I'm gonna get into s'much trouble"
"It cant be wrong if it feels good baby"
♡ he continues kissing and fondling your breasts, his hand slipping to your underwear pressing a thumb against your clothed clit making you jolt your hips with a loud whine.
♡ he chuckled against your chest moving his face to meet yours
"That feel good? Want me to do it again?"
"I dont know- I dont know! Feels weird.."
♡ he kissed your mouth and let's his other hand wander to your thighs. he pulls back to get a full view of you, your thighs spread, your lips puffy, your tits out. A sight that would make the devil groan, which is what he did.
♡ he plays with your thighs and your clothed cunt, soon sliding the piece of fabric to the side to get a better view of your forbidden fruit. He watches as your fluids leak from you, clamping around nothing and clit twitching from the harsh temperature of the room
♡ he places his thumb over your clit watching you jerk against him, clearly not used to stimulation, he circles around it then leans down pressing a kiss against it (maybe a quick suck too)
♡ the action makes you cry
"Billy 'is dirty"
♡ he slides with finger in you, the heat and tightness of your body almost making him cum in his pants. You're mewling underneath him and he gives you feelings you've never experienced
♡ his fingers work you open aiming to make sure you're able to fit his cock. When he pulls pants down to his thighs and grips his cock, your eyes are wide and full of second thoughts. Being the gentlemen he is he grabs your hand and makes you feel it
"S'hot, 'n it feels weird"
"Supposed to be hot gonna make you all warm"
"S'not gonna fit, your fingers felt too much, cant take this.."
"Cant take my cock?"
"Dont say that! That's dirty!"
♡ he drags his cock head over your clit, the heat of it shutting you up.
"I'll make it fit baby"
♡ he pulls your thighs apart and wraps his arm around your head, his body encapsulates yours as he pressed his cock inside of you. The stretch hurts and leaves you grabbing as much as billy as you can, he whispers praises to the side of your neck as he desperately tries to hold back.
♡ after an intense 5 minutes of him rubbing your clit and getting you to relax he starts thrusting, soft and slow but soon picking up as you unconsciously buck you hips into his. Your bed shook and you cried into his neck as he defiled you for any other man
"That feel good?"
"Ah- Feels big! 'Feel so full ngh- too full!"
"Yeah? Ya think your god would like this?"
"Gon' be In so much trouble billy"
"Ngh fuck- I'll be your god baby, I'll never get mad at you- fucking take it for me- you'll be my most devoted follower, c'mon say I'm your god, say it, say it for me baby 'n I'll make you feel so good c'mon say it"
"My god- y- your my god"
"Good girl, fuck-"
♡ as you reached orgasm you tried to push him off telling him that you were gonna pee, luckily for him you werent strong especially when you were getting your beliefs banged out.
♡ you came with a wail wrapping your legs around his waist, trapping him inside you, his hips stuttering as he came inside you.
♡ thus a sneaky beautiful relationship began
♡ hed take you for dates at his favourite cafe ordering milkshakes then stealing the cherry placed on top of yours then making jokes about once again "stealing your cherry"
♡ he steals your underwear especially when hes been teasing you all day, he likes the juices you leave behind, likes sucking on them, cumming on them, keeping them for himself and returning them soiled
♡ let's you come to the pool after hours just so he can fuck you in the water
♡ definitely buys you thin white bikinis just so he can see what's underneath when they get wet
♡ has grabbed a lollipop from your lips and pretended to fuck your mouth with it, you're none the wiser and assume he wants you to get the most flavour out it
♡ touches you in church and whispers how gross you are
"You're disgusting, really letting me touch you in the house of god?"
♡ flips up your skirt all the time, he blames the wind even if theres no breeze.
♡ he had dinner with your parents and had his fingers knuckle deep inside you the entire time, liking your juices if his fingers when dessert came out
♡ comes in through you window just so he can see you without prying eyes, he either wakes you up like a normal person or he wake you up by eating you out/ fingering you
♡ has had phone sex with you multiple times, he treats it like a confession booth and hes mostly degrading you the entire time
"You're fucking disgusting thinking about my cock, you're supposed to be a child of god" - says the man with your panties wrapped around his cock
♡ has gotten you drunk before and made you grind on his foot while you suck along his cock
♡ chokes you with your rosary when hes fucking you from behind, pulls on it like a leash
♡ taught you how to masturbate by sitting you infront of a mirror and touching you, you never fully learnt because billy has no self control
♡ bites you in places that arent visible to your parents, says you've been bitten by the devil
♡ spits in your mouth all the time
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