#i just finished it at 1:30am and I regret nothing it was so good

[leejeann]

Sometimes I go a year with hardly reading anything and then I somehow read a fanfic long enough to be three novels in a trenchcoat in like 3 days, and I'm just sitting here like so uh hey brain, can we do that more often???

[strangerthingslover69]

Your Russian Professor ~ part 1

You have recently joined Hawkins University and are studying Russian, you’ve always love the language and wanted to learn it you also thought it was kind of sexy. It’s your first day and you take the empty seat at the front ready to learn. Only one small problem. You can not stop undressing your professor with your mind No warnings ~ Just inappropriate thoughts and flirting, definitely sexual tension ~

Your alarm goes off at 6:30am, it’s a Monday, looking a bit gloomy outside but nothing can put a dampener in your day. Today is your first day at Hawkins university. You moved into the dorms last week so you could get settled into your new home for the next few months. You’ve picked to study Russian. You’ve always been fascinated with Russia since you were little, your grandparents were from there and they use to tell you stories about their homeland. Your favourite ones included the snow, you were born and raised in LA so never really experienced snow. It sounded magical.

You got up and headed to your shower, you somehow had managed to get a room just for yourself so you could be as free as you wanted. After your shower you got dressed, you wanted to look nice but feel comfy so you went for a a pair of black ripped jeans that complimented your curves and a simple tank top with a zip up hoodie, you put on your trainers and was ready for your day. Before you went to class as it was still early you walked to the cafeteria to grab some breakfast. You opted for some yogurt with granola and berries and a coffee. As you sat down and started to eating your breakfast you browsed your Russian language book. Even though your grandparents are from Russia you never learnt it, you regretted that. You tried to but would get frustrated and confused as it looked all jumbled up. But this year you decided to crack on and attempt to learn it properly. Once your breakfast was finished you put your book into your bag and got up to put away your dishes. As you stood up you turned quickly and bumped into someone spilling the remaining of your coffee down them. You were mortified. Day one and you do this well done Y/N.

‘Shitting hell, I am so sorry! I’ll pay for any dry cleaning.’ You say in a hurry gathering a clean tissue from your pocket trying to clean the mess you’ve made. ‘Don’t worry, accidents happen’ a hand grabs your wrist to get you to stop rubbing his shirt, you are really just making it worse. You look up at the mystery person who you’ve covered in coffee. It’s a man who you think is his late 30’s or early 40’s. The bluest eyes you’ve ever seen and what you think is a quite strong Russian accent. You had to look up quite a bit you were only 5 foot and he was at least 6 foot. ‘Sorry, I should have been more careful’ you say in a small voice. The man takes the tissue from your hand and gives you a reassuring smile, ‘do not worry, honest. I didn’t like this shirt much anyway’ he said with a chuckle. ‘You best get to your class, they’re starting in 5 minutes.’ He said pointing to the clock. ‘Oh shitting hell, great first impression me being late, sorry again!’ You said as you were about to leave. ‘Miss…?’ The man asks. ‘Y/L/N’ you reply. ‘Miss Y/L/N, you need your bag no?’ He asks taking it from the table and passing it to you. ‘Shit, sorry…again. Thank you!’ You say taking it from his hand, you make a quick exit and head to you class. ‘Well done Y/N great start’ you say to yourself. You reach your classroom door, guess the teacher is late too you think to yourself you sigh with relief. Looking around the room as you walk in there’s one empty seat at the front. Of course there is. You plonk yourself down, the classroom isn’t too big so not overwhelming, maybe only holding 20 of you. You fumble into your bag and pull out your book setting it down on your desk. ‘Sorry I’m late, had a little spillage on the way. (Gesturing to his shirt) But never mind here now, доброе утро класс‘ (good morning class) you look up and instantly recognise the beautiful blue eyed man who you bumped into only 10 minutes ago. You can feel yourself going red, hoping no one will notice. He sets down his bag and books in the table, taking off his blazer. You can see his muscles through his sleeves, it hugs them quite nicely. He hasn’t seen you just yet. He turns to the chalk board and writes Professor Antonov. As his arm writes the letters you can’t help but look at his physique. His trousers tucked into his shirt, they are quite tight to on his bum. You wonder how good he’d look with nothing. Your mind snaps back to reality when he turns around scanning the classroom. His eyes meet yours, you shift uncomfortably in your seat. He gives you a warm smile, it helps you relax but not for long.

‘Each week you will have five key words to remember, you will need to remember how to pronounce them correctly and write them correctly.’ He turns around to write five words on the chalk board. He beings to read them out, ‘Привет, школьный класс, Америка, учиться and Извините‘ these are the five words I would like you to memorise, hello, classroom, America, learn and sorry’ he says sorry looking at you with a smile. You are definitely the same colour as a tomato now. You wonder if that last word was planned or a last minute change? As you write down the words in English you try to also copy the Russian lettering but are struggling. You continue anyway, there’s no way you’d be able to ask for help. Not from him, you really don’t know how you are going to make it through this class. He is so distracting with everything he does. The way he moves around owning the room. The way he speaks in English with his sexy accent and then his Russian native tongue, you are feeling very flustered so much so you have to take off you jacket. As professor Antonov is telling you about your assignment (to write a piece in Russian about yourself) you lean forward your chest resting on your arms pushing you boobs up revealing more cleavage. You didn’t notice this but he sure did. You see his eyes wonder down to your chest then quickly looking away as he finishes the class. ‘So you all understand? Good. Assignments needed by the end of this week, I need to see how well you are starting and to see if anyone needs any one to one help.’ He says as he dismisses you all from class. He sits down in his chair and you get your belongs together. You wrap your jacket around your waist and hesitantly make your way over to his desk once everyone has left. ‘Excuse me, Professor?’ He looks up at you with those dreamy eyes. ‘Everything okay Miss Y/L/N?’ His voice sends goosebumps all over your body, you wrap your arms around you self hoping your hard nipples don’t peek through. ‘I-I just wanted to apologise again for this morning. I can send your shirt to the dry cleaners o-or I can buy you another one’ you offer. Professor Antonov chuckles and stands up leaving his desk to stand in front of you. His hands lifts up and he puts it on your shoulder, ‘don’t worry about it. Honestly. I’ve got plenty more’ you shiver at his touch. ‘холод? (Cold) he asks as he clearly seen you shiver. You look at him confused but before you ask what it means he takes your backpack off your shoulders on pops it onto this desk. He reaches around your waist and unties your jacket. His hands brush past your hips making you shiver again. He knows exactly what effect he has on you. He knows you’ve only just met. He knows your his student. He knows the at least fifteen years older but he doesn’t seem to care. He lifts your jacket and places it onto your shoulders. Then he passes you your bag. ‘There you go Miss Y/L/N, nice and warm.’ He says to you as he leans on his desk to sit upon it. He takes out a post it note and pen and write something down on it. He passes the note to you. ‘This is my email. In case you need any help. No disrespect but you looked a little lost today ягниться (lamb) Email anytime and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Okay?’ You nod taking the note, ‘thank you Professor.’ He leans in a little closer to you ear. ‘Please call me Dmitri.’

[kirkwallgremlin]

Tagged by @pinkfadespirit to answer some questions

Three ships: Carver x Alistair, Carver x Isabela and Alistair x Warden but especially Brosca (or Aeudcan I guess <3)

Last song I listened to: the chemical worker’s song (process man) bc it’s been on a ooop in my head since I saw this video this morning

Currently watching: nothing really tbh, i keep meaning to finsh watching shadowhunters and I’ve been thinking I should try watch the rest of the witcher that I started back last year when it came out but every time I try I get distracted and realise I haven’t paid attention to anything actually happening so I end up watching the Santa Clarita diet, the good place, Brooklyn 99 or crazy ex girlfriend on a loop in the background... I just saw a post abt a new Carmen sandiego season tho so hopefully that tomorrow bc I tend to be able to focus on that but who knows

Currently reading: uhhh nothing? I still need to catch up on your Night Shift fic and I’m trying to decide if I want to start reading another long fic now I finished the other one I was reading but who knows, my brain isn’t a fan of reading right now still ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

How’s it going? I should have gone to sleep over an hour ago lmao it’s almost 1:30am, I’ll probably regret still be awake now tomorrow morning, but hey it’s going well overall 👍

My brain isn’t working to tag other people but I figured if I don’t do it now I’ll forget and it’ll never get done lol

[mylifeasaserver]

My Day As It Happened: Mother's Day 2019

9AM: My stupid ass wakes up because my stupid ass volunteered to go in early because my stupid ass wants more money for storm chasing.

9:30AM: My stupid ass finally gets out of bed. I rush through the shower and head to work, making the critical mistake of missing breakfast when I have a long day ahead.

9:45AM: My stupid ass shows up to a packed parking lot with a ton of people out front. I get out of my car and some jackass in the parking lot asks me if I know how long the wait is. I inform him that I don't, I just got here. He tells me to call and find out for him, I decline. He tells me I'm lazy, in return I call him a jackass.

9:50AM: I walk in and I'm informed that I have 5 tables waiting for me - they know I always show up early so they went ahead and sat me. Joke's on them though, I only came in early because I have to poop. The GM is very displeased when I tell him I'm going to the employee bathroom and it won't be safe to enter until the door handle stops glowing.

9:56AM: I have successfully completed one of those dumps that really gives you a boost and improves your mood - deny it if you want, but you know exactly what I'm talking about.

10AM: After a thorough hand washing because I'm an asshole but I'm not disgusting, I find out that the GM went to each of my tables while I was ascending to another plane of existence and informed them I was on my way but would be a few minutes. Since they had a seat, all were comfortable with a couple minute wait.

10:15AM: All 5 tables have drinks and their orders are in. I stacked the tickets and put them all in at once. The GM tells me not to do that, but has no response when I ask him which tables I should've ignored in favor of a slower approach. It's now I'm told about our sales contest.

10:20AM: A server in the next section over asks me to pick up a 2-top she's too weeded to take. I agree. It's my newest friend Jackass, from the parking lot. OH BOY! He asks me if I regret giving him grief earlier since now I'm not getting a tip, and tells me to be honest. The smug look falls off his face when I tell him I don't care, as I'll have more than enough tables today so his non-tip won't even register. I'll still give him passable service though. He orders.

10:55AM: All 6 of my tables have their food, full drinks, and their check. All of them, even Jackass, are happy with the level of service they were given. I know because Jackass was the worst tip at 13%. It was nice that we could reach some level of understanding.

12:15PM: The kitchen comes to a standstill. No orders leave for 15 minutes, and none of the servers know why. I never did find out. I didn't ask either, so there's that.

1:30PM: We're off wait, and sections are adjusted for the night servers. Most of us get a 5 table section. The hostess, the really good one, starts apologizing to me. She double sat me 2-tops and doesn't want me to get mad at her. I laugh because double sat 2-tops is nothing. She's a good kid. I tell her if any server gives her shit about such a ridiculous thing to tell them to go bus themselves.

2PM: I get double sat again - a 5-top and a 10-top, but right next to one another. Company policy is anything over an 8-top requires 2 servers, but company policy can go fuck itself.

2:15PM: The 5 top has ordered, the 10 isn't even all here. I cleverly get drinks for those that are there, because that's less I have to do later. One of the adults spills his water.

2:20PM: The water mess is cleaned up, and the people at both tables have a good laugh as I give the adult a kid's cup. Now having a good time, both tables interact with one another and me. A good tip is all but guaranteed. I have no other tables, so I take the time to fuck around with people in my section.

2:30PM: The rest of the 10-top arrive, and they all order what I recommend. All ten of them - this really bodes well for the sales contest.

3PM: The 5-top is happily chatting with one another after finishing their meal. At this point they can camp all night and I wouldn't care. The 10-top is happily eating the food I recommended. Since the window (where food magically appears in the kitchen for servers to run, for those of you who don't work in a restaurant) is clear and I have no dirty tables, I start walking around the dining rooms looking for dishes to take or refills to get to help coworkers. I find two tables that say they've been waiting 25 minutes for service.

3:15PM: I find out that Duckface showed up, checked in with the hosts, and then promptly got sent home because she wouldn't put her goddamn phone away. Nobody thought to tell the hosts. Now I have tables in 2 dining rooms. Delightful. Their orders are in and I offer both tables a free dessert for the inconvenience.

4PM: Both neglected tables have eaten and enjoyed their free dessert. I tell the GM what I did and he flips his shit - telling me I can't go giving food away. I tell the GM I planned to pay for the desserts myself and show him the slip to prove it, and then tell him I'll buy anything I want for my tables. I get enough off of both tables to buy the desserts 7.5 times over. I know how to handle annoyed people.

5PM: I have no tables anywhere in the dining room, but the hostess who sucks at her job decides to try something new: following rotation. Soon I have 3 tables. All are super chill people.

5:30PM: The GM asks me if I can take a 17-top on my own. I look at my three tables - none of which need a damn thing - and tell him that yes, I can take a 17 on my own. Company policy clearly only applies when it's convenient, so I can conveniently circumvent it when it suits me. I make a mental note to remember this table for when I defy policy in the future.

5:45PM: I only have the 17 people at this point. Their order is in. They have drinks.

6PM: The order for the 17 top comes out of the kitchen. 3 steaks were overcooked, 2 plates had the wrong sides, and 2 of the delivered plates weren't what was supposed to be part of the order. First thought I have? HOW DID I FUCK IT UP SO BAD? Wasn't me. Fortunately, the steaks were mid rare, sides are an easy fix, and the other 2 plates were an easy fix. The people were cool about it. I do not offer free desserts.

7PM: The 17-top is done eating. Prebussing is done. Checks are split and delivered. The hostess asks me if I mind being skipped in rotation so I can help another server who is having a rough time of things. I may have misjudged her, so I'm glad I follow my own advice and don't give the host(esse)s any shit. I don't care if I don't get any other tables at this point of the night since I'm due to be cut soon. The server in need of help has a particularly difficult table that's trying to do their best to be the most pain in the ass group in restaurant history. She has 2 other tables that I more or less take over. I more or less don't take the tips though, because that's not helping. I make a mental note to remember these tables for when I need help in the future...just in case.

7:10PM: The Table of Pain has successfully given their server a mini breakdown, and while she's composing herself the good manager makes a grave mistake and asks me to care for this table. The regret of this decision could weigh on her for quite some time, depending on how this plays out. The table is four bastardly old people who aren't happy with anything and hate everything. They seem to freely hurl insults at me as they did the server who is still out back.

7:15PM: I've decided that I give zero fucks about what these people think. If they want to be pissy assholes I will happily deliver a reason for it. They inform me that every time they come to our restaurant the food is bad, the service is bad, and our prices (which are pretty fucking cheap) are too high. I tell them it's mighty stupid to keep coming back when things are that bad, but that's more on them than on us. Much to my disappointment, they respond favorably to this treatment. They must have assumed I was joking.

7:20PM: I tell the Table of Pain that since they clearly don't know how to order food I'm going to order for them (coincidentally the dinner in the sales contest.) Again, they bewilder me by responding favorably to it. I decide that if they like abuse that I'm here for them. I allow them to order sides and I put the order in.

7:30PM: The Table of Pain officially becomes mine, and the other two that I more or less took over have left. Oh goody. I refill drinks at my sole table, and tell them that I don't care whether they want more to drink or not so they can deal with it. I think I have this figured out.

7:45PM: The food arrives. I put the main course (same for everybody) down on the table, and tell them they can figure out who gets what side, and then I put them down wherever there was room. The good manager hears this and drags me into the office to ask me what the hell I'm thinking.

8PM: I'm cut. I'm also not going to give the Table of Pain a chance to say they were ignored.

8:30PM: The Table of Pain is done eating. I tell them they can figure out splitting the check on their own and they decide to surprise me by using the word "please" in asking me to split it for them. I say "Fine, if you're gonna be nice about it." I split the checks and tell them to leave and not let the door hit them on the way out. They clearly must assume I'm kidding. Again I'm dragged into the office so the good manager can try and figure out what the hell I'm thinking. If they complain I'm being written up. SO SCARY!

8:35PM: The Table of Pain flags down a server and asks for the manager. She goes out. They tell her they actually enjoyed themselves "for once" and their waitress gave them a hard time and they liked it. MOTHERFUCKERS I WAS TRYING TO PISS YOU OFF SO YOU WOULDNT COME BACK! Now I get to clean my section, do my sidework, and roll silverware.

8:45PM: Reap the rewards of a 4% tip from the Table of Pain and discover the hostess that I previously thought sucked at her job had already cleared and wiped my tables for me. Now I'm tipping her out because despite company policy forbidding it, my GM has taught me to ignore policy when it suits me.

9:15PM: My side work is done. My section is cleared. I find out that I won the sales contest - and it wasn't even close - and one of the prizes offered was to skip rolling silverware. **for those wondering, the other choices were to get cut early one night this coming week, choose your section, or a free meal** I gleefully claim my prize of not rolling silverware and run the hell out of the building. All in all, a decent mother's day to work. Decent money too.

Normally I don't use my blog to advertise for anybody or anything, but my friend Jess has started doing art commissions. I enjoy her work and have ordered a painting for myself. Even if you don't want to buy, give her page a visit and say something nice. And if you do want to buy or have questions, talk to her. She's a good friend of mine and she's super nice. -J

theart-ofjess.tumblr.com

[arrianna21]

~Freedom Aligned~

Life as a Runner is not as easy as everyone thinks. While mostly consisting of being a courier that run on the rooftops to deliver packages and messages, it was important to always keep moving. When your hard ass mentor tells you to practice at the crack of dawn, he makes sure you put in the effort.

Game: Mirror’s Edge: Catalyst

Word Count: 4,742

You run.

Vaulting over the glass wall, you run past the fancy black couches accompanied by white tables.

Stopping at the outdoor patio, you admire the city skyline, the large bodies of water and trees unavailable to the rest of the citizens. It was beautiful. Unlike the quiet breath of life, neon billboards and neverending power of technology could not compare to the sight in front of you.

Tranquil environments, like the one before you, was something ordinary Employs did not experience; it was something you’d only seen once, maybe twice in your life. It had been some time since you made the choice to leave behind the life you once knew, only to give it all up to become an outcast.

You didn’t regret it. Not because you hated your life, no not that, rather it was because you didn’t want to be molded into whatever civilian society wanted you to be. Not after witnessing a Runner hide in your home while the police looked for them.  The blond’s nonchalant and almost cocky attitude was something you would never forget. While you had threatened to call the authorities, he called your bluff instantly, and patiently waited until said authorities called off the search. That had been five years ago and it was only until you became a Runner yourself that you would run into the same Runner again.

“Are you there yet?” an impatient voice asks in your earpiece.

“Almost.” You automatically respond, breaking out of your reverie as you continue making your way to your destination.

“Hurry up, it’s going to be morning soon.”

“It is morning, 4:30AM to be exact.” Thankfully the weather isn’t too chilly despite you being on the rooftops.

Yoongi, one of the best Runners, and also your mentor, wanted you to practice one of the dashes in Ocean View, a more affluent area in the city. Dashes were time trial exercises for Runners. They had to get to a certain point within a set time, but where that point was no one was told how to get there. It forces them to look for alternate routes when on missions.

While you had only seen Yoongi run a handful of times, the first one being your chance encounter, you knew enough to know that he was good and had definitely earned his high Runner status.

Running up the next wall, you stop in the shallow pond, having reached your destination. “Okay, I’m here.” You report.  

“About time. I sent the location to your map I want you to get there as fast as you can. Start whenever you’re ready.”

Checking the map, you pinpoint the little red arrow that wasn’t far from your starting point. Just jump across a couple of buildings and you’ll be there in no time.

You take off running, the clock starting automatically as you jump down onto the little walkway and barrel roll, ducking under the first vent. On the other end, there’s another vent you have to duck under and then you springboard off the glass railings.

Landing on the next building, you run through an extravagant waterfall, glowing lights changing colors as you pass by. You follow the hidden Runner symbols scattered along the path, inconspicuous red arrows guiding you. Running past more couches decorated with luxurious purple pillows, you hop over the glass barriers and run down a set of stairs, climbing up a wall and turning to springboard off of a potted plant. You run up another wall to get to the next floor, sprinting in between two glass gardens before grabbing on to a zip line. Sliding between the gap separating the section of buildings, you let go and climb some shorter walls until you turn the corner, finishing in another gorgeous glass garden.

“Done,” you pant.

“2 minutes and 10 seconds. You followed the arrows, didn’t you?”

“Well, yeah. I can’t take a shortcut on the other side of the building because there nothing there besides windows. It’s not like I’m going for 3 stars or the fastest time.” To be honest, you never really cared about being the fastest Runner, you just wanted to do some delivery and covert jobs because you enjoyed it. The Scrip that came with it was also nice too, as having some money helped keep you fed.

“Change of plans, your goal is to get 3 stars. To do that your time has to be 55 seconds exactly.” Yoongi tells you.

“55 seconds! How the hell am I supposed to do that?”

“Get creative,” is all he says.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” You mutter to yourself, but he still catches it. “Trust me, brat, I most certainly am not.”

And he very well meant it.

                                   ~*~

“Again,” Yoongi tells you.

“I got it down to 1 minute and 3 seconds! Isn’t that close enough?” you complain, slumping against the window of the white garden. Your body feels extremely hot from the workout and the cool glass feels wonderful on your skin. You didn’t know how many times you’ve run back and forth between the buildings.

“Close, isn’t going to cut it. Now get your ass back to the start and go again.”

“Considering the fact that I found the quickest, and possibly the only way to get here, I count that as a win.” You retort.

“After how many attempts?” he dryly asks. “It’s not my fault it took you so long to figure out that you should go through the building instead.”

“Do you not remember the last time I tried to take a shortcut through a house?”

You had been doing another dash similar to this one and you tried to save some time by going through someone’s apartment. Needless to say, you had accidentally destroyed their kitchen by landing on the dining room, which resulted in expensive dishes being broken.

“That was pathetic,” he snorts. “You should be lucky no one was home.”

“At least I didn’t take a break and lie in some poor girl’s bed,” you huff.

“You were fine. I’m sure you probably washed those precious sheets after I left anyway.” He counters. “At least I hope you did because they sure as hell didn’t smell pretty.”

“Oh, shut up!” you yell as you make your way back up to the start.

A few more tries later and you were finally under a minute, clocking in at 56 seconds. It was an improvement to say the least, but that was the fastest you could get, fluctuating between 56 and 58 seconds. Unless you stumbled or didn’t land a jump properly. You were very certain some parts of your body were bruised.

“Keep going.”

“Ugh, Yoongi.” You whine.

“Suga,” he interjects. Everyone had to call him Suga when talking online because the more notorious Runners had to remain anonymous in their identity, just in case.

“Suga, I can’t get any faster. I’m taking all the shortcuts and even perfected the landings. It’s not possible.”

There’s silence on the other end. “Fine. Then you’re not going on the mission.”

“What?”

“If you can’t get 3 stars on a simple dash, then you’re not cut out for a mission.”

You say nothing before you sigh harshly, breath turning into a low growl as you run back to the start.

“Asshole,” you grumble.

“Brat,” he fires back.

Using your MAG rope to grapple the side of the building, pulling you up so you can go back to the start. At this point, you wouldn’t be surprised if you could do the run blindfolded. Almost blindfolded, you correct to yourself when you climb up the enclosed garden and step around the open gap in the ceiling, remembering how you missed seeing it that last time.

“You know I have to do the mission for Agust,” you say to him, running up the wall.

“Yeah, I know. Why do you work for that prick again?”

Agust was the underground crime boss of Glass. There was speculation that he was Dogen’s successor to help keep the business alive, but no one knows for sure. From what you could gather from the few times you’ve been in contact with him, was that he has no allegiance to anyone. Granted, he seemed to be a little more lenient/sympathetic to the rebels, but again, it’s only an assumption. Everything about the man could only be guesses and rumors because no one has ever seen him, not even the people who exclusively work for him.

“Isn’t it obvious? He pays good Scrip and money is money. Plus, I think I’m one of the only Runners he trusts, considering the others rarely do missions for him. At least someone has faith in me.” The last sentence being muttered under your breath.

“I do have faith in you,” he argues, “I just push you because I know you’re capable of doing better. Besides, if you need Scrip-”

“No!” automatically shooting down his offer. “I’m not desperate and I don’t want to take money that you earned. I’ll get to 55 seconds one way or another so don’t worry about it.”

Once you get back to the start you immediately begin running the way you came. This time you adjust your route along the way. While you enter the building and jump down, when you get to the glass gardens you instead hop over the railing before it rather than vaulting up to the roof. You land better as a result, rushing to get to the zip line and spring boarding past the tree before scaling another wall. Running around the corner to get to the end, you immediately check your time in anticipation.

55.27 seconds.

“Yes, I got it!” you cheer, though your happiness is short lived by a crackle in your ear.

“Not quite. You barely missed the 3-star mark so do it again.”

“Oh no, you don’t You said 55 seconds and I would be done! Do you not see the two fives next to each other?” you point madly at the numbers even though you know he can’t see them.

“I told you that to get 3-stars, you needed to get 55 seconds exactly. And even then that’s cutting it close by a few milliseconds.” Yoongi informs you.

“You’re mean.”

“I’ve been called worse.”

Half a dozen attempts later and you were still stuck. Even going through the same motions wouldn’t reward you with a victorious finish. It wouldn’t be long before people and guards start moving out and about, going on with their day or surveying the area for Runners.

At one point, you even waited 5 minutes before starting the stopwatch and stood around for 55 seconds. Your scheme doesn’t last long, being foiled 15 seconds later.

“If you were remotely smart, you would go off camera and pretend that you’re not trying to cheat.” Yoongi drawls.

You curse your stupidity, forgetting that Runners could hack into the cameras across the rooftops. It was even more embarrassing because there just so happened to be one pointed directly at you, your mentor watching through the lens.

While you walk back to the beginning, you make sure to flip your middle finger as well before disappearing out of the screen.

“Yeah, fuck you too, brat.”

As you return to the start, you remember the pathway and wonder how else you can improve your time. Going through the motions, you slide under the same two pipes you’ve seen plenty of times, but you change things up by staying to the left and jumping over the small glass barriers at the waterfall instead of going through the open middle. It results in getting your clothes wet, but you don’t care as long as you could save time.

You run past the same couches, cutting across the patio with big umbrellas and running through the same building. Leaping over the guardrail, you roll when you hit the ground and sprint past more fancy black couches. Vaulting over another barrier, you slide down the zip line and go in between familiar white trees before running up the last wall.

Your shoes slide on the slick floor, dislodging the leaves as they flutter around you as you run to the center of the garden. Panting, you check the time with mild trepidation.

54.57, a 0.70 difference.

“I did it. I actually did it, Suga!” you laugh breathlessly.

“Good,” is his praise. “Now I never want to hear some stupid bullshit about you not being able to do anything.”

“Got it. Wow, holy shit that was insane, but so exhilarating.” You let your body drop onto one of the sofas, pure relief overcoming you as exhaustion creeps in.

While lying down on the thick cushions, you watch the white leaves, colored pink by the purple lights, flutter through the gentle air until they touch the ground. The gentle wind breeze glides around the now tranquil and quiet space. No one was nearby, no voices at all, and you feel at peace.

If things were different, you might have envied the families who lived in these extravagant homes. Even though Runners have the ability to run and hide through the wealthy and modern houses, the owners didn’t care. Almost as if they enjoyed showcasing their fortune and wanted people to know it.

“Suga, do you ever wonder what it’s like to live on this side of town?” you abruptly ask, turning your gaze to the rotating camera scanning the area.

As much as you enjoyed the view, you would still rather live your life as a Runner, wanting to keep your freedom no matter what. Despite the money and fancy parties along with the high social status, you had no interest for it. These hiCastes were under heavy surveillance just like everyone else, if not more, being kept under a watchful eye by each other, enemies, and KrugerSec alike.

“Not really. Too pretentious if you ask me. Why, you thinking of moving to the rich part of town?” he scoffs and you snort in return.

“Hell no. I was just asking.”

“I’m sure it’s nice and all, but no thanks.”

“I don’t blame you. Living like a normal Employ while your every move is being watched and tracked? I’ll pass.”

You continue to bask in the early morning, relishing it while you can until the door leading to the rooftop garden slams open, the loud noise startling the birds in the trees and causing them to fly away. A group of men walk out and you climb over the back of the couch, hiding behind the furniture.

“What the hell?” you say when you see the group of guards surround a disheveled man in a suit.

“What is it? Why’re you hiding behind the couch?” The door is right under the camera so the Runner can’t get a good view.

“A bunch of KrugerSec are messing with someone, a hiCaste I think.”

“Can you get out of there without being seen?”

You take a quick peek around the side before quickly reeling back upon seeing the figure shrouded in black.

“No, I can’t. There’s a Sentinel.”

Sentinels were the highest trained guards in KrugerSec and they were extremely difficult to fight. Not only were they strong, they were also fast, easily able to dispatch a person or Runner in the blink of an eye.

“Shit! Stay out of sight. Wait till they leave and then get the hell out of there.”

“Why would they be messing with a hiCaste? It doesn’t make any sense.”

“I don’t know, but it’s not our problem.”

“Please, just give me more time. I can get all the information, but it’s not easy.” The man tells them, fear evident in his voice. It was shocking because you’ve never heard a hiCaste beg. Then again their lives were hardly ever in danger.

“We don’t want to hear any more excuses! You’ve already the Conglomerate once and it’s rare that they give second chances.” One of the guards tells him and you hear a grunt as the man is shoved.

Leaning around the arm rest you count the guards. One Sentinel, one Enforcer, and two Guardians. Minus the Sentinel, you could take them out easy.

The man rights himself and stands up straighter, an act of faux bravery, as he glares at the guard. “You can’t do this. I’ve given almost all the documents, pulled all the strings I can, and used over half of my resources. I may work for the Conglomerate, but I still have power.” His words are meant to be threatening, but his voice undermines them by wavering.

“Unless the Conglomerate think you’ve gone deviant. Then your services would no longer be needed.” The Enforcer pats his gun lightly, a menacing reminder not to rebel. “Come with us peacefully and we’ll sort this out shortly.”

“They’re gonna take him away.” You whisper frantically at the realization.

“Don’t even think about.” Your mentor’s words cut off any thoughts of stepping in, or at least they try.

“You can’t do this, this is illegal!”

“An innocent man is about to be taken away, I can’t just sit and watch.” you whisper to Yoongi.

“I don’t care who it is. A Sentinel is there, Y/N, they’re not going to play nice and they near impossible to fight.”

You knew that, of course you knew that, but it felt wrong to not at least try to help.

When the hiCaste refuses to comply, one of the Guardians nods to the looming Sentinel who approaches the man, grabbing ahold of him as he proceeds to drag him towards the door.

The man begins screaming and fighting back in return, flailing madly as he yells. “Help me! I’ve done nothing wrong!”

“Suga, I have to do something.”

“Y/N, I’m serious. Stay out of this.” He growls darkly, a strong warning you were meant to listen to.

“I’m sorry but I can’t,” is all you say.

As much as the hiCaste looked down on you and the Runners, they were still civilians just like everyone else. So you do what you have to do.

You vault over the couch, wall-running on the side of the greenhouse and kick the first Guardian, knocking him out as he runs into the other wall.

“You are in breach of policy, submit now!” a guard yells though you ignore him, responding by simply attacking him.

Pointing his gun at you, you disarm the Enforcer before he gets a chance to shoot you, kicking him in the head.

Only two guards are remaining, but before you can take out the lesser challenging one, the Sentinel strikes first. He hits hard, the force sending you to the ground and you scramble to your feet before he can retaliate. Shots ring out as the other guard picks up the gun and begins firing at you. You run around the glass enclosure to try and put distance between you and them. Running up the wall, you do a 180-turn and kick hard at the Sentinel. He stumbles briefly, but it’s not enough to bring him down.

Going back around, the Guardian starts shooting at you and you jump, getting ready to kick until the Sentinel yanks you back. You roll backwards and dodge the incoming punch, nearly running into the hiCaste who ducks out of the way while you turn to run up the wall but the strong guard is one step ahead as he grabs you by the shirt and pulls you down. Legs flailing, you try to get out of his grip while the other guard prepares to shoot you.

Surprisingly, he is stopped by the hiCaste who tackles him and they begin fighting for the gun, pulling it back and forth between them. Bullets fly out through the struggle spraying around you and the Sentinel though the guard doesn’t seem to mind at all. The Sentinel eventually throws you to the ground, kicking you harshly and you cough, struggling to crawl away. More bullets ring out and they hit the camera above the door, destroying it in the process.

You can hear Yoongi cursing in your ear as he loses visual of you and the fight, but you can’t do much to reassure him when you are backed up against the wall of the garden. The Sentinel swings at you and you barely move out of way, his gloved fist punching into the glass and causing it to shatter. Maneuvering around behind him, you repeat your previous actions and run up the wall so you can spin around and kick him. This time you actually manage to break his helmet, the plastic cracking, revealing a green eye and a nose through the hole.

Running around the space to gain momentum, he chases after you and after doing a loop you spin around to wall run while you hit him with all the force you can muster. The punch is enough to knock him unconscious and the guard falls over. You do as well, panting as sweat pours across your body while you slide to the ground. Through the adrenaline, you barely hear Yoongi shouting your name in your ear.

“Y/N! You need to get out of there, now! The Wire is going crazy with chatter and there are reports of a hostile conflict in Ocean View. What the hell did you do?” Yoongi screams.

“It’s okay, the Sentinel is down.” You pant tiredly, rising to your feet unsteadily as you prepare to leave before reinforcements come.

“Thank you.”

You look at the sound and see the man drop the Enforcer’s gun, looking even more disheveled though he seems relieved.

“If you hadn’t stepped in, they would have interrogated me for information and then killed me afterwards.” He explains, confirming your worst fears and yet his words also solidify your interference. “Let me repay you.” The man says, stepping towards you.

“It’s no problem really.” You tell him, but he doesn’t stop until he abruptly shakes your hand. There’s something in his hand as he passes it to you and you see it’s a piece of paper.

“Here’s some money as compensation.” He tells you before walking away and going out through the door, leaving you confused in the broken garden.

“Kid, they’re sending another Sentinel. You need to get the hell out of there!” Yoongi’s desperate voice yells.

His voice disrupts your train of thought and turn to see more guards gathering on the rooftops. You don’t need any more incentive as you stuff the paper in your pocket.

Already exhausted from the fight, you run through the open apartments you had been previously admiring, dodging around more tables and luxury sofas. When you get to the wide gap between Ocean View and Eden Village, you know they won’t be able to catch up as you swing across with your MAG rope. You can hear the blades of a helicopter as the VTOL approaches. Sliding down the incline inside the museum, shoes skidding down the orange interior until you crash through the window at the bottom.

While you run across Eden Village, you hear the crackling static of radios and see a group of guards patrolling the area.

“It’s that Runner!” One yells when he spots you and then immediately begin coming towards you.

“Don’t try to fight them, kid, just get home.” Yoongi tells you upon seeing the group on the cameras.

You shove past them when they approach, not slowing down at all while you splash through the various waterfalls on top of the building. The VTOL’s spotlight shines down on you, the bright light reflecting in the windows, a contrast to the still early morning sky. Taking a shortcut through Crystal Valley, a small area clustered with buildings, where you proceed to lose the guards and the helicopter by moving inside the bright blue buildings until they can’t find you.

When everything quiets down, you eventually emerge outside and make your way through Shimmering Heights as you run towards the lair. Running past the blaring billboards and loud televisions, you are reminded of the stark contrast of Ocean View. While this area shared the same colors of purple and blue as the hiCaste city, its environment was loaded with technology galore instead of having trees and infinite waterfalls. You knew you were close to home when all you saw were white buildings and nothing more.

Going underneath the transit tunnels, you run along the metal grates, and swing across the giant gaps where trains raced by. Spring boarding up some boxes before going through a doorway, up a flight of stairs and you were safely in the Lair. Safe in the sense that KrugerSec couldn’t get to you.

When you turn the corner, you find Yoongi already there waiting, pacing back and forth across the large room until he sees you.

“What the hell were you thinking?” His low voice only makes his dark expression even more terrifying as he stalks towards you.

“I was thinking of helping someone who was in trouble.” You reply, getting upset at his accusatory question.

“And for what? A damn hiCaste?” he scoffs.

“They were going to take him away and then kill him after they got what they wanted.”

The blond breathes harshly in frustration. “Y/N, they had a fucking Sentinel. KrugerSec doesn’t just send one out for no reason.” He pauses, raking a hand through his hair, messing up the bandana around his forehead, as he continues to glare at you. “Why did you do it, huh? Was it to prove a point?”

“No! Yoongi, you know it’s nothing like that.” You say, walking towards the open window, leaning against the wall so the breeze can cool you down.

“What about money? Figured you do this good deed and the guy would pay you some big money as a reward?”

“What?” you look up and find Yoongi’s narrowed eyed staring at the note the man gave you before he left. “I didn’t do it for anything, I did it because it was the right thing to do. That’s it.”

He shakes his head before crumpling the note and tosses it on the desk. “No, that’s not it. You went up against a Sentinel even though you’ve had no training. You’ve only fought the Shock Protectors once.” Crossing his arms, he regards with disappointment and you feel irritated at the helpless feeling it gives you.

“Why are being like this? Yeah, I’ve never dealt with one before, but I took care of him. And even if I hadn’t I know how to get away.”

“That’s not the point.”

“Then what is? Enlighten me.”

“The point is, you acted irrationally.”

“How, by not listening to you?” you smart off and the glare he sends has you wishing you could take back the question. Any more prodding and his face would be the same color as the red bandana on his head.

“No,” he replies, upper lip curling into a sneer, “by not fucking planning. You immediately started a fight without thinking and it almost got yourself killed.”

“Well, I’m sorry! Next time I’ll be sure and take 5 minutes to think of a plan when I’m in a dangerous situation.”

His eyes close as his fingers dig into them and he sighs heavily. “This isn’t a game, Y/N, you need to start thinking about the rest of the Runners instead of going around playing hero.”

“That’s not what I’m trying to do. And I would never put the other Runners at risk. If I got captured, then it was because it was my fault and I’ll do better next time.”

Yoongi stills, his fingers stop rubbing his eyebrows before he directs his gaze to you. “You’re an idiot if you think everyone gets a second chance.” The air seems to chill as he stalks out of the room, his blond hair is the last thing you see before he disappears around the corner.

Sighing in exhaustion, you wish the release of air would help relax the tightness in your chest, but it doesn’t. Walking to the desk to retrieve your crumpled note, you see another piece of paper next nearby.

Congratulations and good luck, Brat

-SUGA

A/N: So…this is longer than expected. Can you tell this is the idea, the story that started it all? When I was playing this game for the first time, I could not get Yoongi out of my mind. For some reason I could just imagine him in this world and I couldn’t get out of my head. Then I started thinking about other members in other games and lo and behold, VideoGame!BTS was born! I really hoped you liked it and please leave me feedback, it really helps and I love hearing your thoughts! Thank you so much for reading!

[thestrangerwolves-blog]

Wolf Moon - Part 2

Season 1 Masterlist

Word count: 1614

Warnings: none

Note: Sorry it took me so long, guys! God, I'm not good at this. I have a test week coming up, but after that school will be over. Then I'll have time to wrte again. Sorry, guys!

Y/n, 2:13AM Scott, are you okay?

You stared at your screen, sending another text when he didn’t respond.

Y/n, 2:14AM Scotty?

Y/n, 2:14AM We’re so sorry for leaving you behind in the woods!

Why wasn’t he answering?

Y/n, 2:15AM Please say you’re alive.

You decided to give it a sec. When he didn’t react, you grabbed your phone again.

Y/n, 2:30AM SCOTT!

Y/n, 2:38AM C’mon!

You started to get really frustrated.

Y/n, 3:04AM Scott, please answer!

He didn’t answer. He probably wouldn’t. You gave up and tried to sleep. Then, a few minutes later, you heard your phone buzz.

Scott, 3:30AM Hey, just got home. Got attacked by some wild animal. Don’t know what it was. Pretty nasty bite, man!

Relief filled your body. You didn’t even read the text, you just immediately answered.

Y/n, 3:30AM Scott! Oh, thank god, I thought something terrible had happened!

After a few minutes, you realized what he’d said.

Y/n, 3:46AM Wait, what? Are you okay?!

Scott, 3:50AM Yeah, I’m okay. Tired, tho. Goodnight, Y/N/N xx.

You grinned. Goofball.

Y/n, 3:51AM Sleep well Scotty. See you tomorrow. Oh, ps, make sure you’re not gonna bleed to death tonight. Okay loveya <3.

“Okay, let’s see this thing.” Stiles said. Scott lifted his shirt and showed a large white patch with some blood leaking through. Stiles ooh-ed and you frowned. “Oh my god, that’s- ew.” You squirmed. Stiles tried to touch it, causing Scott to jump a little.

“It was too dark to see much, but I’m pretty sure it was a wolf.” Scott told. “A wolf bit you?” Stiles said in awe. “Uh-uh.” Scott hummed.

“No, I don’t think so. It couldn’t have been.” You said. “I heard a wolf howling.” Scott said with a ‘try to explain that’-tone. “No, you didn’t.” You pondered. “How do you know?” Stiles asked.

You rolled your eyes. “California doesn’t have wolves, you dumbasses. Not in, like, sixty years.”

“Really?” Stiles and Scott asked in sync. “Yes, really. Can we just believe y/n for one single time?” You said.

They both stared at you for a second, then turned to each other, turned back and stared at you with looks of regret. They didn’t believe you. Great.

“Well if you don’t believe me about the wolf, then you’re definitely not gonna believe me about when I tell you I… Found the body.” Scott told. Your eyes widened with surprise and Stiles jumped a little. “Are you kidding me?”

“No, man, I wish. I’m gonna have nightmares for a month.” Scott whined. Drama queen. “Wh- Oh my god, that is… Disgusting, but pretty cool.” You said. “Dude, that’s freaking awesome! I mean, that’s seriously gonna be the best thing that’s ever happened in this town since…”

He got distracted by the beautiful, somehow perfect Lydia Martin. She was a friend of yours, but for some reason always ignored Scott and Stiles. Oh, and an important detail: Stiles was hopelessly in love with her.

“…Since the birth of Lydia Martin. Hey Lydia! You look…” Lydia brightly smiled at you as she walked by the three of you, not even spending a second looking at Stiles nor Scott. “…Like you’re gonna ignore me.” He looked at you with a defeated frown. “Sorry Stiles, I don’t know why she doesn’t talk to you. I can’t do anything about it.” You apologized.

“I know, I know. It’s Scott. Scott, you’re the cause of this, you know. Dragging me down to your nerd depths. I’m a nerd by association. I’ve been scarled nerded by you.” You rolled your eyes and grinned as the bell rang. The three of you turned and walked into the building. The new school year had officially started.

In the first class, you sat next to Scott and in front of Stiles. Your teacher was a chubby man, probably in his late 50s, maybe in his 60s. He was writing something on the whiteboard in front of him, standing with his back to you. “As you all know, there indeed was a body found in the woods last night.” He began. Scott and you looked over to Stiles, who winked and soundlessly snickered.

You looked around and saw that the three of you were the only ones actually listening. People were quietly talking, passing notes, applying make-up and playing on their phones.

“And I’m sure your eager little minds are coming up with various macabre scenarios as to what happened. But I am here to tell you that the police have a suspect in custody.” The teacher turned around, revealing what he had written on the board. “KAFKA’S METAMORPHOSIS”. We looked over at Stiles again, who had a confused frown on his face, then he shrugged at us.

“Which means, you can give your undivided attention tot he syllabus which is on your desk outlining the semester.” You groaned. This was the last thing you wanted to do right now. You wanted to start writing, when you saw Scott flinching next to you.

He looked around, picked his ear, then froze when he looked outside. There was a girl sitting on a bench, going through the stuff in her bag. She was calling someone, then hang up when the principal walked up to her. She must’ve been new.

“Scotty, are you okay?” You whispered. Before he could answer, the door of the classroom opened. The principal walked inside, the girl following. While the principal introduced her as Allison Argent, I observed the girl a little.

She had long, dark brown curls that were draped over her shoulders. Her brown eyes looked around the classroom nervously, her hand fumbling with the gloves she was wearing earlier. You saw Scott staring at her in complete awe.

Allison sat down in the chair behind Scott, and Scott immediately turned around with an awkward smile, handing her a pen. She frowned at the pen, then looked at Scott and smiled sweetly while taking it. She quietly thanked him, while he turned around with a proud smile on his face while the teacher continued the lesson.

When class was over, you were basically kindapped by Lydia. “Have you seen that new girl, Allison? She seems really cool. I wanted to invite her to the party this weekend. Wanna walk with me to talk to her?” She asked. “Yeah.. Sure.” You said. It’s not like you didn’t like Lydia, but sometimes you felt like you couln’t really be youself around her.

You decided to ask her something. “Hey Lydia, is it okay if I invite Stiles and Scott too?” “Who?” “Stiles and Scott. My two best friends, the boys I’m always hanging out with?” You said. You hoped for a yes. “Oh. Them. Whatever.” You took that as a yes.

“That jacket is absolutely killer. Where’d you get it?” Lydia asked Allison when you were at her locker. You saw Scott staring at Allison with heart eyes, and Stiles was discussing something with a random girl.

“My mom was a buyer for a boutique back in San Francisco.” You hummed with impression. Lydia pointed at Allison with a smirk. “And you are my new best friend.”

Lydia’s boyfriend, Jackson, appeared behind her. “Hey, Jackson.” Lydia greeted him with a kiss. Allison and you just kinda stood there , awkwardly looking and grinning at each other.

Lydia turned away from Jackson to talk to Allison. “So, this weekend, there’s a party.”

“A party?” Allison asked. “Yeah, Friday night.” You answered. “You should come!” Jackson finished.

“Uh, I can’t, it’s family night this Friday. Thanks for asking.” Allison confessed. You personally didn’t believe her, but you didn’t blame her for not wanting to hang out with Jackson and Lydia. They could be absolute jerks sometimes.

“You sure? I mean, everyone’s going after the scrimmage.” Jackson tried to convince her. “You mean like football?” Allison asked. Of course she didn’t know that lacrosse was the sport in Beacon Hills High School.

“Football’s a joke in Beacon. The sport here is lacrosse.” Jackson laughed with a cocky smile. “Guys, is it okay if I go tot he field already? I want to talk to Scott before practice.” You said.

Lydia and Allison nodded and sent you a friendly smile while Jackson just kept talking about his success in lacrosse. Such a selfish reptile. (hehe)

“Scott!” You called, jogging up to him. “Hey.”

“Hi, Y/N/N! Something wrong?” He greeted. “No, not necessarily. Um, earlier today, I saw you looking a little weird, almost like you were… lost. It was right before Allison was introduced.” You noted.

“Oh, yeah. That… that was nothing, don’t worry. It-It was probably just a fly irritating me or something.” He muttered.

Stiles walked up tot he two of you, his hands full of his lacrosse gear. “Scott, if you play, I’ll have no one to talk to on the bench. Are you really gonna do that to your best friend?” He whined. You coughed loudly, trying to prove a point.

“Y/N, you’re not here every practice. You aren’t even always at games!” Stiles explained. “Well I’m here now!” You snapped.

Scott ignored your discussion, answering Stiles. “I can’t sit out again. My whole life is sitting on the sidelines. This season, I make first line.”

As he walked towards the field, his eyes were drawn to Allison, who sat down on the stands with Lydia.

You had a minor inside debat about who you were gonna sit with; Allison and Lydia or Stiles? You decided to join Stiles, since he now sat all alone.

You jokingly poked him in the ribs, causing him to quietly laugh. Then you heard the coach yelling. “Let’s go! Come on!”

Practice had officially started.

 Tag list: (tell me if you want to be added or removed)

@prof-scribbles @logophileharry @jurrasicpork @koizorahana @thebestof-spn

Inspired by: @bilesbilinskix

[thetaiseytales]

Week 5

21st December 2016

2:00pm

Mum and I collect every year to send presents to mum's and children in need who live in local refuges. I was 40+1 weeks pregnant, very depressed and very very uncomfortable but I'd been looking forward to delivering the gifts so much that I ended up having such a lovely day that day. It was my last day as me, my last day living life as I then knew it...

Although I suffered with crippling prenatal depression, I was so ready (well, materialistically ready) for Taisey. She was called exactly that from about 25 weeks. Her bedroom was set up, wardrobe bursting with clothes that (thankfully) were handed down through the family! Bottles were sterilised, blankets were washed and nappies were filling my house to the brim... But had I packed my hospital bag? Had I f*£k.

Maybe it was the fear of actually giving birth that stopped me from doing it properly. I took my PJ's and clothes, nappies, bottles and milk for Taisey and that was it! I wasn't prepared at all because I wasn't prepared to even enter that hospital to give birth. I hadn't been in hospital since I was born. Never had an operation, never even broken a bone... I was painstakingly scared and it ruined my whole pregnancy, that and the sickness. I threw up all day, every day from about day 21 to the very end and it was hell on earth. I also worked full time which also sucked the life from me but I am thankful because it prepared me for the exhaustion that is parenthood.

Mum dropped me home after visiting the refuge where I met some friends. My partner was having a 'lads night' so we were bound to our true home - the kitchen! I remember my friend Sam saying to me, "wouldn't it be weird if your waters broke right now!" And we laughed because it was such an inconvenient time, house full of people and 4 days before Christmas.

4:25pm

I picked up a brush to sweep the kitchen floor and, 90's babies you will know this, I had a 'That's so Raven' moment.

I felt a pop.

I didn't say anything and walked to the toilet that was thankfully downstairs in our house at the time! I looked down and it was green. I knew what it was straight away. I felt all the colour drain from my face as I walked back into the kitchen. I popped my head around the living room door and said "Babe, don't mean to alarm you but I think my waters have just gone..." I don't think a single person in that house had an ounce of blood in their faces! "And on a Wednesday!" I heard one of Curt's friends say as I was on the phone to the midwife explaining in detail what kind of green 'it' was. Lovely.

Curtis asked me if I was ready and I told him not to panic because we'll be coming back home soon anyway to wait... All I can say is thank God he packed me a bag because what followed was a whirlwind!

Just as we were leaving my friend Amy came through the door. I remember wrapping my arms so tightly around her, she was the only person in the whole house who had been through what I was about to. I genuinely don't think I'd have made it through labour without that hug. She looked me dead in the eyes and said "you got this!" I definitely had something but I don't think it was 'this'...

We got in the car and as soon as we hit Chivvy roundabout I was contacting for 1 minute, 2 minutes apart... I remember my mum trying to stay calm for me but she knew this baby was coming and fast! We walked into the hospital and I was crippled over in pain. I hadn't cried much until that point. It all hit me at once, she was coming. I was about to become a mum... On a Wednesday!

5:00pm

I'm in a lift in the hopsital doubled over in agony, clutching the bar as I hear the ping to tell us we'd arrived at the right floor. They lead me into a ward and examined me as I fidgeted in what I thought was 'pain'... Little did I know this was a mere raindrop in an ocean in comparison to what was coming.

After examination they took me straight up to delivery, this alone made me panic. I was terrified. I had no idea how I was going to deliver this baby. All I knew is that I wanted drugs and I wanted all of them and I wanted them now.

I begged for some pain relief as they told me I was 7cm dilated. A HCA passed me the gas and air which seemed to block out a lot of my labour yet reduce NO PAIN. I felt every single part of my labour from start to finish and I couldn't be more proud of that considering I wanted to feel absolutely nothing and would have loved a c section in the beginning! I know many have pain relief-less births but I, Zoey Tout, actually did something worth while!!! For the first time in my life I achieved something and my god did it hurt!

7:00pm

There are midwives and nurses all over me and this labour is in full swing! They are promising me pain relief as I scream down the ward in agony! No pain relief comes. Not even a shot of pethidine to calm me down... I'll still never know whether this was a good thing or a bad thing but I do regret the gas and air. It's blurred things that didn't need to be blurred and it didn't help with any pain!

8:00pm

I'm 9cm. "Zoey, your baby probably isn't going to cry when she comes out, she may be taken straight away!" I heard someone say... Fine by me at this point as I was so mentally ill I had no attachment to her yet.

I felt this force go through me and I knew I was about to start pushing! "I need to push!" I screamed. "Funny that..." I heard my midwife say... I hated that woman by 8:15. If you ever get to delivering babies and it's starting to irritate you, change profession for goodness sake. Thankfully I had a wonderful student midwife at my side who held my hand and talked me through the whole process.

One thing I remember about birth is that they told me I smashed it but I genuinely put zero thought into the whole thing. My body took over and I had my baby.

It was last push time... Her head was there, 'would you like to touch her head?' I was asked. "Absolutely not thanks." Was my reply, "just get her out of me!" The last thing I wanted to do was to feel, see or even think about what was 'down there'!

8:25pm

Last push was over and my very red and wrinkly little baby was laying on my chest screaming her lungs out. I couldn't believe it. My body started going into shock as I writhed on the bed below our brand new little life. 15 minutes after birth I was in the shower and begging to go home. I didn't want to be there just as much as the midwife clearly didn't want to be part of my labour so get me home!

1:30am

We burst through the door, our little one in tow. The house looked like a bomb had hit it but all I could think about was crawling into bed. Taisey held my finger the whole night that first night and slept straight through, it was bliss and we have always been thankful for her incredible sleeping habits!

I was up at 9am and out the door Christmas shopping the very next day... Crazy, I know 😂

[anaabaalistic]

December 18th , 2021

1:58am

I lied . I’m coked out of my mind right now and I put on the song I fell in love with you too . “I move , U move by John legend” it’s been so long since I did coke , and I thought it’d be a good idea . Now I’m sitting here regretting it all . I know your ex was an addict and honestly I know I’m not I do it once or twice a year , but today I wanted to be out of my head but it did the opposite, at first I was okay I was watching a movie just vibing and taking swigs , I had nothing to say then suddenly my mind raced to you . I am so angry on Sunday it’ll be 3 weeks since I last saw you and on Monday the 20th it’ll be 2 weeks since we last spoke . I’m having a really hard time not texting you right now . It’s 2am and I miss you so much , I remember when you use to wake up at 2:30-3:30am and randomly text me saying TE AMO , it always warmed my heart to wake up to that and I wish you’d do it again . I wish we could’ve kept doing what we were doing I know it was unhealthy but I was happy with whatever part of you I could have , I can’t remember the last time I touched you , I was drunk that night & we had sex . I remember small parts of it , I remember vividly when you finished and you told me to give you minute and went up and kissed you on the cheek , it was always my thing when I’d finish fucking you . I remember the first time I did that it was February 28th I know because I saw a video of us in the car , you got all teary eyed . It was so cute . I miss you I miss us a lot today . Everytime we had sex it was so passionate it was filled with roaming hands , biting lips , neck , tracing every part of you with my tongue , touching you was magic . It felt so right probably the best sex I ever had with anyone , I never let you fuck me because honestly I couldn’t trust you , but when I touched you , you gave yourself up completely , every part of you was exposed , and I’d stare into your soul my fingers inside of you while you moaned and when you pushed my head into you I would melt and do exactly what I knew you wanted . I miss that so much , we could literally never keep our hands off eachother , everytime was amazing . I don’t have you anymore and now she gets that part of you , I hated knowing that when I’d finish fucking you, you’d go spend the next day with her and probably do the same . It was your eyes I fell in love with the most , the way you’d look at me I would get lost in you . Every single time you looked at me I’d feel chills run down my spine it was the best feeling I’ve ever had .

[electric-mindfulness-blog]

Seb and Ed

This is a continuation of a story I found a while ago, it’s a story that really resonated with me, I’ll post the links at the end.

It’s been two years. I hadn’t thought about Ed for all that time until today. A letter arrived in my flat, a week after I moved in, I had just finished uni and had a decent job, and was planning on having a housewarming party. I had been out to collect supplies at around midday, and when I arrived a letter had been posted through, or rather slipped under, my door. It had three words in a familiar, unjoined chicken-scratch style writing.

To Seb.

Then underneath, slightly smaller, as if the writer had been hesitant,

Ed.

It took me several moments to realise I had been standing in the doorway of my flat, staring at the letter for at least a minute; I had dropped my bags, cans, bottles and tubes of snacks and junk food falling across the floor. It was only when the woman from the opposite flat came out and asked me if everything was ok, that I snapped out of my reverie. It hadn’t registered that I had simply dropped two large bags of shopping: she looked distinctly concerned.

“Yeah.. I’m fine, just had a moment” I grinned, unconvincingly, but she seemed placated. She nodded with a frown and retreated back into her flat.

Shoving the letter into my back pocket, I scrabbled across the floor to pick up the detritus that had spilled from my bags, moving unnervingly fast, as if cleaning a crime scene.

Later that day, sat in my room I glared at the letter, unopened, on my windowsill in front of my desk. I willed it to open itself, to save me the task. Needless to say it didn’t. Eventually after trying to distract myself from it for two hours I couldn’t resist it any longer. I ripped it open on one end and tore the letter out, my eyes absorbing every word on the page one letter at a time, savouring the familiar scratchy writing.

Seb,

It’s been a while, I’ve never known what to say to you, and I’ve never been brave enough to call or text. I’m so sorry for how I treated you, I was in a bad place. Luring you into a setup like that was a shitty thing to do, and I really wish I hadn’t done it.

Truth is, things got worse after you left Birmingham. Me and my flatmates fell out, they left and I eventually had to leave as well, I’ve been living with Catherine for a while. Like you said, she is a good friend but.. she isn’t you.

I saw the post you put up about a housewarming party, and I’m sorry to say that I asked one of your friends for your address, I couldn’t help myself. If you want me to come then I will, if not... I understand.

Ed.

I read it and reread it several times. Several thoughts raced through my head, the first of which being how pissed off I was that he had effectively stalked me to get my address, and actually come here, second I was more enraged that I hadn’t been in when he had delivered it. I don’t know what I would’ve done so perhaps it’s best I wasn’t. And finally, a deep pang of guilt in the pit of my stomach for how I had walked out all that time ago, and the empty space in my life that had appeared since I had pushed him away.

He had been my friend since primary school, we had done everything- literally everything- together, we always sat next to eachother on the bus, we would walk to and from school with eachother, we fancied the same people and fought over the same stupid shit, but we were thick as thieves. But what he did had hurt me, not physically, but it hurt me in a dark and unspeakable way, unspeakable because I hadn’t thought about or revisited what happened with him two years previously; I’d also not met with any other men or women since.

The letter had thrown me. Throwing it down on my bed, I picked up my phone, and flicked through my contacts. I thumbed to “E”, and scrolled down until I saw his name. It seemed to stand out like a beacon .

Eddie.

My thumb hovered over his name for a second. Do I call? What would I say after two years of radio silence? “Hi Ed you fucked me over and lured me into a two hour fuck sesh that I thought was a trick to help you break up with your girlfriend”?

No.. I should text. I thought, less awkward that way. I hope. I tapped the little message bubble next to his name, and tapped out a brief message.

Got your letter. Come down a day before the party, 3:30pm Saturday.

Again, my thumb hovered. Before I could second-guess myself, I tapped send. Part of me hoped it would flash and say “message send failure” but no such luck. It sent through instantly, and no less than two seconds flat after it had arrived, the little “sent” became “read”. My breath faltered, it was strange being this close to him but so many miles away at the same time. The thought the we were almost staring at eachother through our words gave me an uneasy shiver.

See you soon.

I clicked my phone off, it’s Wednesday. I thought two days. Shit.

I busied myself by cleaning the flat, moving furniture, rearranging shelves and crockery, anything to distract me from the thoughts whizzing through my head. The following two days passed in a blur.

Saturday morning came, I woke up at 4am, and sat in my bedroom on the bay window, panes wide open, leg dangling out five storeys over the main road. There was no traffic, save for the odd early morning worker, and some cyclists. I picked up a pack of cigarettes: empty. I swore and threw the pack out the window. I slid back inside, throwing on some joggers and a baggy old T-shirt from the bottom of my draw, threw on some trainers and headed down the stairs- the elevator was yet again out of action- and out the door of the flat. I jogged to the local offlicense, and grabbed a six pack of some imported beer, and a few packs of Marlborough superkings. I ambled slowly back home, my head alive with every possible outcome of the day. This could be the total end or the new beginning of us I thought. I sat on the bench outside the flat building for a half hour, listening to the sounds of the early morning, birds, distant car engines, late night party-goers straggling home, laughter and tears. It reminded me of the morning after the night before with Ed. I cursed out loud. Violently, scaring several small animals nearby.

Back inside my flat, still groggy from sleep, I checked the clock, the red digits flashed 4:30am in its repetitive rhythm. How had it only been a half hour? I slipped out of my shoes and joggers, and threw on a long, dark green dressing gown. I wondered into the kitchen, put the beer in the fridge, and opened one of the packs of cigarettes. I sat back on the windowsill and lit it. I hadn’t smoked in a long time, and I savoured the first breath, holding the flame at the end and inhaling deeply. My breathing slowed. How long have I been hyperventilating for? And why?

But I knew why. I was seeing him for the first time in what seemed like forever, though it had only been two years. I had so many questions, so much anger and sadness and feelings that I hadn’t dealt with since I had left. And it scared me. I sat on the windowsill for a long while, reminiscing, and half dozing, all the while chaining the twenty pack, leaving a gap of barely five minutes between the last and next.

It was only when my alarm went off, signalling 6am, that I snapped back into reality, the city was alive now, traffic bustling below me, shops opening, rubbish trucks and postmen. I slipped inside and got changed. I looked into my mirror and froze. The T shirt I had grabbed from the bottom of my draw was his. Ed’s. It was a baggy old concert tee, scribbled on and doctored, ripped and safety-pinned and stitched and patched. Everything about it screamed Ed. I was torn between throwing it out of the window and crying at this point. Instead, I had a roiling wave of rage wash over me, and I slammed my fist into the mirror: I instantly regretted it. The weak frame buckled from the force of impact and my hand went straight through; shards of glass rained down onto the floor, and I gained a Large ugly slash and several stinging cuts across the back of my hand. I yanked off the shirt and wrapped my hand up, heading to the kitchen to clean it up.

After finding a dated first aid kit buried under the sink, I managed to properly bandage my hand and forearm with sturdy, albeit old, medical wraps and adhesive tape. I glanced at the microwave, the shining green numbers emblazoned 7:45, it was still dark outside, the sky was gloomy, as it had been all autumn, making it seem a lot darker than it should have been. I threw the bloodied shirt down on the counter by the sink, I’d come back to that later. I went and lay down on my bed for a while, finishing off the first pack of cigarettes, and rattling off some essays and letters on my laptop. A few hours later, my room stank, even though the window was open, the cigarettes had carved their odour into the walls, and the old porcelain ashtray was full to overflowing with ash and dogends, and there was a strong smell of my own B.O, and of stale tea and incense. It all mingled together to form a not entirely unpleasant but strong smell that strongly resembled the inside of a youth club. Or a brothel.

It was now 1:30 and the sounds of the city had dulled to a hum that I only just registered. I made myself some food, sat down and waited. Having moved all the furniture around, I was sat on a large, blue, five-person sofa in the far corner of the room, the door directly in front of me. My phone buzzed.

On the train now, eta one hour twenty minutes

Nothing I can do now. I stared at the text. It’s really happening I thought. I had secretly been hoping to myself that I would wake up suddenly, but the dull throbbing ache of my pulse across the back of my hand reminded me, all too painfully, that it was happening, however much I wished otherwise. I lit another cigarette, and as I did, I heard a familiar, slightly high pitched voice drift up through the open window, swearing at someone. He’s here. No backing out now. Steeling myself, I went to the door, the phone on the wall rang. I lifted it up, pressed the button marked with an old cinema ticket with “admit one” on its front and put the phone down. I wonder how he got in the other day. Another question to add to the list. I unlocked the front door, and sharpied an arrow on the front. Below I scribbled

This way for the party>>

And I went back inside, leaving the door slightly ajar, to my room, again leaving that door open too. I still had the cigarette in my hand, but it had burnt out. The smell of stale tobacco hit my nostrils and I threw it out the window, taking a fresh one from the pack and lighting it. No sooner than I’d taken the first drag, I heard a voice behind me.

“So you still do lucky lasts then?” He was nervous. His voice was a little pitchy, but it was him. His delicate southwestern accent pulling his A’s out. Laasts.

I inhaled sharply, and turned slowly. He looked.. stunning. He didn’t appear to have aged, his thick black hair was a little longer, and had a deep green streak through it, he was wearing fur lined denim jacket and black jeans, with a red scarf and fingerless gloves to guard against the cold. He seemed skinnier, his eyes were gaunt and his jaw was more prominent than I remembered. But it was ed. I ran forward.

Fin.

https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/college/straight-guys-messing-around/ these are the original stories

[toomanysurveys9]

Has the last person you kissed met your father? the last person i kissed was my son and he has met his grandfather. he lives with us. and jacob has obviously met him too (he’s the last person i kissed romantically). What’s your favourite breed of dog? i love my brother’s akita. but i tend to fall for the mixed breeds. that’s what both of my dogs are. Who is the first person you saw this morning? jacob and wyatt. What would you like to do right now? i don’t know. drink something maybe?

What was the last thing that was on your wrist? i don’t remember. maybe a hair tie? Do you think more about the past, present or future? probably the present these days. just taking it all day by day. When was the last time you spoke to your brother? sunday night before they left our house. Are you outgoing or more reserved? more reserved for sure. Can money buy happiness? eh. not complete happiness, but money can definitely help a lot with some things.. What was the last thing you drank? a glass of water.

Do you swear in front of your parents? my mom i don’t care. but i don’t in front of my dad really because i know he doesn’t like it. When you say you don’t care, do you mean it? not always. Do you know anyone who has messed up your life? just me. Honestly have you kissed someone of the same sex this week? i have not. Who knows you better than you know yourself? i don’t know that anyone knows me that well. not anymore. Have you ever kissed a blonde haired blue eyed person? i have not. Who last texted you? jasmin. Do you listen to music when you’re down? i listen to a lot less music these days. but sometimes. Do you still talk to the person you had your first kiss with? we’re married and i’m pregnant with our second child. What would you do if you found out you were pregnant to the last person you kissed? we’re going to go with the last person i kissed romantically, which is jacob, and i am pregnant by him. Will your next kiss be a mistake? nope. Have you ever stayed in a hotel? quite a few times. Have you ever dated someone who was not good to you? yeah. jacob has his moments.. Ever been told you were loved by someone who didn’t mean it? probably... Have you ever been cheated on? yeah. towards the beginning of our relationship, jacob cheated on me with his ex. it was just a kiss, otherwise i never would have stayed. Are promises important to you? not really anymore. they always get broken. What’s a fact about the last person who texted you? she’s married to my cousin, scott. Doesn’t it drive you nuts when people think they ‘need’ to have a bf/gf? a little, sure. but i mean. whatever. it’s their life. What is one thing you spend way too much money on? my kids. lol. If you could have something right now, what would it be? someone to hang out with. friends. Are you texting anyone? no. no one talks to me anymore. Do you find it hard to trust others? i do. and i think it’s just going to keep getting worse. Can you honestly say you’re okay right now? yeah. i’m okay for the most part. Have you ever worn the opposite sex’s clothing? yeah. i wear jacob’s shirts a lot. Are you slowly drifting away from someone? it seems like it... Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? most people, yes. but not everyone. Does anyone know your passwords other than you? jacob might. i have gave them to him before. with the exception of my tumblr. that is only mine. What was the last thing you spent money on? lunch stuff for jacob. Are your nails done? they are not. they very rarely are done. How many people have you kissed in this month? jacob and wyatt. Hug anyone last night? wyatt. Who are you talking to? no one at the moment. every now and then, i talk to lilli and wyatt. What’s your middle name? dee after my mom’s foster mom. Where will you be 12 hours from now? in bed. unless i’m in the bathroom. but probably bed. Does the person you like, like you back? i don’t know. i know i go through this a lot. but i just. don’t know. i want to say he does, since we’re married and pregnant with our second... but i don’t know. Where’s your girlfriend/boyfriend at? i’m married, and he’s probably headed home from work but i never really know for sure. Can you make yourself cry? i can’t cry on demand. Is your current hair color mostly your natural hair color? it’s all my natural hair color. What color are your socks? not wearing any. Who have you texted in the last 24 hours? jasmin, jacob, kayla, and erin. Do you like someone? i... yeah.. i still do. Current mood? okay. kinda feeling blah a little. but i’m okay. Who were you with Friday night? family, minus jacob. was celebrating lilli’s birthday. Were you in a good mood last night? i was in an okay mood, but kind of felt hurt. i get tired of doing everything on my own. i know jacob works almost every day for us, but he does nothing with wy. i’m raising wy pretty much all on my own, and it’s going to be the same i’m sure when ellie is here. and i kind of wanted jacob to go with us to the store because he’s literally done nothing with us in a very long time. but he didn’t. and he never does. we barely talk. we barely have a relationship at this point... we’re just roommates who share soon to be two kids and have sex occasionally when he feels like it. What should you be doing right now? nothing. Do you have a reason to smile right now? wyatt and ellie always give me reason. Think back to June. Were you in a relationship? yeah. Would you hug the last person that you hugged again (besides family)? i don’t know who i last hugged that was not family. Where did you sleep three nights ago? i slept on the couch for awhile, but then i went to my own bed after jon and jake were done playing ark. Have you argued with anyone today? nope. Are you ready for kids? i am going to have two in november, and i already have one, so i better be. lol. What do you tend to drink a lot of? lately, water. although i’ve barely been drinking anything... Is there someone you can spend every minute with and be happy? wyatt. he’s my only happiness.. Have you ever woke up crying from a bad dream? yeah. Finish the sentence: A relationship cannot work without ____ time together and communication.. Do you have any friends? i hope so. i think kayla is just going through some stuff so we haven’t been talking as much. Who was the last person you gave your number to? i don’t know. erin put my number in her friend kayla’s phone, if that counts. Are you married? i am. Who are you texting? no one. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 3 months? obviously. What if someone asked you to be in a relationship with them? i’d say no since i’m married to jake. What is your hair looking like right now? i haven’t brushed it so not great, but it has looked worse. What woke you up this morning? jacob’s alarm, and then wyatt. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy? depends. but generally, rainy. Blue or orange? blue. i don’t like orange much. Who made you cry last? jacob. What do you regret doing anything lately? nothing comes to mind. Last person you had a fight with? i don’t know. i haven’t really fought with anyone. you have to care to do that. Where were you 2 hours ago? upstairs in my bedroom with wy. Do you eat breakfast? when i’m pregnant, i do. Do you have plans for tomorrow? we might go to the fair, but i’m sure my mom is going to back out so no. Can you recall the last time you liked someone a lot? When was it? i can. i currently do. Will you be in a relationship in the next month? yeah. Will you talk to someone on the phone tonight? doubt it. unless jacob decides to call. Have you ever trusted someone too much? story of my life. Have you ever made someone cry? i probably have. Believe in love at first sight? as a mom, yes. but not the romantic kind. Ever dated two people at once? i have not. Who is your last missed call from? my sixteen year old sister, erin. Are you “with” the very last person you kissed? the very last person? no. he’s my son. What do you do before you go to bed? get wyatt to sleep. it’s usually a lot of flipping sides, and he occasionally will still nurse. but he nurses a lot less so we’re getting closer! Do you wake up to a good morning text? nope. Have you ever had to block anyone online? yeah. a handful of time. Do you miss anything? i do but it doesn’t matter. Are you okay with the life you live? for the most part, yes. How did you get your last bruise? i honestly don’t know. probably hit my leg on something. It’s 4 in the morning and someone is throwing rocks at your window, who? no one i would know. Where were you around 3 PM yesterday? i was at home. napping with wyatt. Where were you at 1:30am? in bed, sleeping. Last time you got a text message and smiled? i don’t remember. Do you regret kissing anyone you have kissed? not really, no. Are you in a relationship? i am. Have you ever made a boy cry? yeah. Are you afraid of thunder and lightning? not generally. Are you scared of ending up alone? not really. more afraid of if something happened to make us split up, he’s already made it known that the house, cars, and basically everything is all his. which is fine. all i need is my kids. but he said he’d take them too... he can’t even take care of wyatt now... Did you sleep alone last night? nope. with wyatt and jacob. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? noooo. Have you ever dyed your hair? it’s been a very long time, but yes. Are you currently looking forward to anything? november or october, whenever ellie makes her appearance. How often do you hold back what you want to say? alllll the time. Is the last person you kissed older than you? nope. Do you think that in the end, everything will fall into place? i hope so.

[kitty-bandit]

Meme Time

tagged by: @errantknightess and @faeriexqueen!! Thank you both!!

gonna just... put this under a cut because it's so freaking long XD

last

1. drink - oolong tea

2. phone call - from Gerhard

3. text message - from Gerhard

4. song you listened to - Crave You (Ted & Francis Dub) by Flight Facilities (been using it to write smut to XD)

5. time you cried - I... don't recall? I think it was yesterday. I teared up watching that ice skating performance to Yuri on Ice

ever

7. kissed someone and regretted it -

8. been cheated on - yes

9. lost someone special - yes

10. been depressed - ues

11. gotten drunk and thrown up - just the one time ;A;

fave colours

12. blue

13. purple

14. pink

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends - yes!

16. fallen out of love - no

17. laughed until you cried - omg yes

18. found out someone was talking about you - YUP

19. met someone who changed you - nope

20. found out who your friends are - oh, I already know

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - yes XD

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - all of them

23. do you have any pets - 3 cats, 1 dog

24. do you want to change your name - nope

25. what did you do for your last birthday - went out to eat at a sushi restaurant, then went down to Bentleyville to see the Christmas lights

26. what time did you wake up today - 5:30AM, someone save me ;A:

27. what were you doing at midnight last night - trying to sleep and not salt with my friends XD

28. what is something you can’t wait for - buying my own house

30. what are you listening to right now - the sound of the airvents at work

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - yeah

32. something that’s getting on your nerves - antis :'))))

33. most visited website - Tumblr

34. hair colour - currently, blonde

35. long or short hair - very short

36. do you have a crush on someone - ah, does my husband count? I still crush on him XD

37. what do you like about yourself - eh, I dunno. I can write well and I'm done taking shit from anyone

38. want any piercings? - already got many, but I've dreamed of a lip or eyebrow piercing

39. blood type - B negative

40. nicknames - Kitty

41. relationship status - married

42. zodiac - Scorpio

43. pronouns - she/her

44. fave tv shows - currently (stuff still running): Brooklyn 99, Grace and Frankie, Bob's Burgers, and VLD

45. tattoos - I do want some, but I have none

46. right or left handed - right-handed

47. ever had surgery - yes, I've had hernia surgery when I was 3, I had my tonsils out when I was in middle school, and I've had oral surgery twice.

48. piercings - navel, 3 in one ear, 4 in the other ear

49. sport - what's a 'sport'?

50. vacation - I want to visit Japan and all of Europe

51. trainers - say what?

more general

52. eating - sweets, Chinese food, and sushi

53. drinking - water or tea is about all I drink

54. i’m about to watch - nothing rn, I'm at work

55. waiting for - work to finish, even though I just got here XD

56. want - to get my freaking writing projects done so they stop hanging over my head

57. get married - been there, done that, got the t-shirt

58. career - I'm currently good where I am, as a technical writer for a large insurance company, but I would love to work I a library, or switch my writing job to a company I don't loathe. also, I want to publish books of my own

which is better

59. hugs or kisses - hugs are better

60. lips or eyes - lips, they don't stare back at me and make me nervous XD

61. shorter or taller - I love short people omg

62. older or younger - both are good and have their perks

63. nice arms or stomach - god don't make me choose. but if I had to, it would be arms

64. hookup or relationship - relationship, all the way

65. troublemaker or hesitant - troublemaker

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger - no

67. drank hard liquor - yes

68. lost glasses - yes, though just sunglasses

69. turned someone down - aah, I guess if you count the people who used to come into Walmart when I worked as a cashier and asked me out on dates (or the one guy, to marry me) (or that other guy who wanted me to be in a ""photoshoot"" for ""school"") then yeah? but they were creepers creeping on a young college girl who couldn't run away.

70. sex on first date - more like no date and sex, but circumstances were... different.

71. broken someones heart - if I have, I don't know about it.

72. had your heart broken - so, so many times

73. been arrested - nope

74. cried when someone died - yes

75. fallen for a friend - that's basically my MO

do you believe in

76. yourself - on the rare occasion, yes

77. miracles - sometimes

78. love at first sight - I do

79. santa claus - no, I'm too old for that

80. kiss on a first date - oh yes

81. angels - a bit, tho maybe not angels exactly

other

82. best friend’s name - Diana. even though she's gone, she'll always be my best friend

83. eye color - blue/green

84. fave movie - how dare you make me choose, but okay. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the original live action movie (it was the first movie I'd ever seen in theaters and to this day I'm a TMNT fan)

85. fave actor - Not super big on following actors/actresses, but I've been enjoying Josh Keaton and his twitter (Shiro loves you, baby.)

Tagging: aaah...? shit no one I guess xD my brain ain't working.

[thepurplewriter333]

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people. Thanks for tagging me @fanwriter02! :D

LAST:

1. Drink: Water 2. Phone call: My sister 3. Text message: @fanwriter02  4. Song you listen to: “Heroes” by Peter Gabriel. And thinking about Stranger Things while listening to it makes me want to cry. 5. Time you cried:  Last night, listening to sad music and watching sad things. (I cry a lot, okay? :P)

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: How could I date someone twice if I haven’t dated once? 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Yeah, my dog tried to kiss me back. 8. Been cheated on: No. 9. Lost someone special: Yeah..... 10. Been depressed: Yeppppppp! 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nope

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12. Purple 13. Blue 14. Red

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: Yep! 16. Fallen out of love: Noooo 17. Laughed until you cried: Totally! 18. Found out someone was talking about you: Ohhhh boy, YEAH. 20. Found out who your friends are: I discover more things every day, yeah. 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Facebook is too addicting for me, so I don’t have it, so NO.

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Don’t have facebook! 23. Do you have any pets: ..... YES. I have five rowdy dachshunds with huge mouths and even huger attitudes. Plus a few fish that are probably neglected. 24. Do you want to change your name: Yeah, because it’s reallyyyyy similar to my sister’s name, and I just want something different. 25. What did you do for your last birthday: Nothing, really. Then I cried at night. *shrug* It really was an awful day. 26. What time do you wake up: Depends which day, but usually in between 7:30am-8:30am. 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Hooked on The Goldbergs. 28. Name something you can’t wait for: Stranger Things Season 3, and HTTYD 3! 29. When was the last time you saw your mom?: An... hour ago? 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: My family’s health. 31. What are you listening to right now: My neighbor mowing the lawn. It’s quite soothing, really. 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I feel like I have, I just can’t remember where... 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: My sore throat. 34. Most visited website: Google Docs. 35. Mole/s: I don’t THINK I have any.... 36. Mark/s: Lots and lots and lots and lots of freckles. A scar on my right elbow, and a few scars on my legs (can’t remember where I got them). 37. Childhood dream: Police officer.  38. Hair color: Dirty blonde. 39. Long or short hair: Short, only goes a little past my shoulders. 40. Do you have a crush on someone: No 41. What do you like about yourself: I have a good singing voice (sometimes), I play guitar pretty well, I write good, I’m smart, I’m good at acting... yeah, ‘bout it. 42. Piercings: One in each each 43. Blood type: Don’t know, don’t care 44. Nicknames?: Pinecone Face. Don’t ask. CLASSIFIED. 45. Relationship status: Single 46. Zodiac: Virgo 47. Pronouns: She/her 48. Favorite TV Show: Bonanza or Stranger Things 50. Right or left hand: Right 51. Surgery: None (yet) (because I have a bad feeling) 52. Hair dyed in different color: Nope 53. Sport: I’ve done: soccer (1 season), cheer-leading (1 year) (is that a sport?), basketball (4 years), and swimming (2 years). 55. Vacation: I’ve been all over the U.S. Yellowstone twice, Jackson Hole, Mount Rushmore, New York, San Fransico, Oklahoma, etc. And I’ve been on a cruise to Mexico once, and Niagara Falls a few years back. 56. Pair of trainers: Self Esteem and Creativity 

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: Nothin’. 58. Drinking: Water. 59. I’m about to: Go make a hot drink for my sore throat. 62. Want: SPANISH WORK TO BE FINISHED ALREADY. 63. Get married: Nope 64. Career: Out of work  65. Hugs or kisses: Hugs... I’ve wanted to hug so many people lately and I don’t know why! xD 66. Lips or eyes: Eyes! They’re a “window to the soul.” ;) 67. Shorter or taller: I’m shorter... :(!!! 68. Older or younger: Younger 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: I have swimmer’s arms, so nice arms. :D 71. Sensitive or loud: LOUD. I tend to use my outdoor voice a lot more than my indoor. xD 72. Hook up or relationship: N/A 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Troublemaker, most likely. I speak before I think, act before I plan. :D

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a Stranger: Noooo 75. Drank hard liquor: What the-?? NO. 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: YES. And let me tell you- losing contacts while out of the house is NOT FUN!

77. Turned someone down: No 78. Sex on the first date: NO, AND THESE ARE GETTING VERY PERSONAL 79. Broken someone’s heart: I don’t THINK so...? 80. Had your heart broken: By a friend, yes. It was not a nice time. 81. Been arrested: NOPE 82. Cried when someone died: Yep... 83. Fallen for a friend: nope

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84: Yourself: After contemplating seriously in a long, hot shower, YES. 85. Miracles: God works in mysterious ways-- yes. 86. Love at first sight: Probably...? 87. Santa Claus: Nope 88. Kiss on the first date: I guess so

OTHER:

90. Current best friend name: Kristen 91. Eye color: Blue 92. Favorite movie: I can’t choose just one, so here’s a few! Brother Bear, Big Hero 6, HTTYD, Me Before You, and Howl’s Moving Castle.

Tagging: @katurdish @animalsarepeople2 @writerofberk @hello-em75 @leffie-draws-fanart @raide-draws-fanart @lenle-g @avataviking @astridthevalkyrie @goldeneyeddragon101 @queenelinor @margarethelstone @misslittlejoe @bonanzaismylife @skrillqueen @rafxsulfuslovestory @httydtlk @thelastinspiritdragonrider @crazy4dragons @guestbusters

[phatjosh180]

RACE RECAP: Mt. Nebo Half

Okay, before I go any further I have to get this out of my system — NEBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Okay, that’s much better. This is one of my favorite races and has been over the past 5-6 years — it holds my half marathon PR of 2:09:25 which I hit in 2013. A time that seems eons ago if I’m being honest.

As much as I love this race — I was rather wish washy on whether or not I was going to do it. It was supposed to be one of my last long runs and tune ups before the Revel Big Cottonwood Marathon, but — yeah — that didn’t happen thanks to setbacks due to my back, ankle and a nice bout of bronchitis and walking pneumonia.

I’m not going to rehash a lot of those setbacks — because I’ve been working hard getting past them — and I’d much rather work forward then mettle in a mindset that won’t take me anywhere productive. It’s been a very inconsistent and difficult year that all I really want to do is get past it instead of keep poking it with a stick. But, of course that’s all easier said than done.

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A post shared by Josher 🏃🏻‍♂️🏋🏻‍♂️🥩 (@runfitketo) on Aug 25, 2019 at 10:35am PDT

I initially signed up for Nebo last year — almost immediately after last year’s race. Which isn’t very rare for me. But, back in June when I got knocked out for three weeks because of the bronchitis and walking pneumonia I purged a lot of my 2019 race schedule because the illness killed my marathon training. So I ended up transferring my Nebo bib to the Haunted Half in Salt Lake City instead.

And, then less than a week later I had a change of heart. So, I signed up for the race again. Because of course.

I did so knowing this would be my first half marathon in nearly four months. I did so knowing I wasn’t trained like I’d want to be. I did so knowing it was going to majorly suck. But, I also did it because I knew I needed to do it. If I was going to improve my running I knew it wasn’t going to be sitting on the sidelines waiting for it to happen. This felt like a good enough place to start.

I didn’t have a time goal mainly because I knew there would be a marathon behind me. So I just wanted to really just do my best, run and have fun. My friend Amanda, who’s getting ready to PR at the Revel Big Cottonwood Half Marathon, sacrificed her race to run with me — knowing it was going to be well below her pace. I was very grateful she was willing to do that for me because I won’t lie — I didn’t really want to do this race alone.

Then there’s the anxiety of knowing I was going to be over three hours on a race that holds my PR — at 2:09. As much as I try not to compare those times to now — how can you not? But, I’m not the same person or runner that I was six years ago and I need to come to terms with that somehow. Because it’s definitely easier said than done. Anyways, a lot of these frustrations and anxieties were swirling within me leading up to the race.

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A post shared by Josher (@josherwalla) on Aug 24, 2019 at 11:39am PDT

The lead up to the race during race week was a mixture of familiarity and anxiety. Usually my anxiety is tempered by familiarity. But, my race anxiety has been long gone for years it was hard to place my feelings of anxiety. Some of the anxiety was because I wasn’t where I wanted to be physically — I’m about 15-20lbs. above where I’d somewhat like to be (that’s all another story for another day thanks to med changes, etc.), my back is inconsistent and my ankle hates me on any given day.

Instead of driving down to Payson from Bountiful the morning of the race (about an hour drive) I journeyed down on Friday night and stayed in the Hutchings camper trailer. I was going to sleep on the grass, but I’m glad I didn’t because the sprinklers would have soaked me around 2am. Plus, I actually got decent sleep which helped ease a lot of the pre-race anxiety.

After the bus ride up the canyon we were off at 6:30am. I started running with both Amanda and Coach Blu. But, after about 3-4 miles Blu cruised down the canyon because he had to be somewhere by 10am. So that left me and Amanda the rest of the race to fartlek down the canyon. Which we very much did.

Well, it wasn’t so much a fartlek, because Amanda let me set the pace, but we did intervals of about three minutes running, 30 seconds walking. That changed about half way through the race to about three minutes running, one minute walking. As part of our game plan we’d also walk one mile of the race — which I chose mile 8-9 because it’s the one part of the race I hate the most. It’s hot, flat and sometimes smells like horse poop.

When Amanda and I were making a race plan my only goal I had — besides finishing the race — was to have fun. I’ll be honest, that’s kind of been my default game plan as of late. And, we had fun. We had a lot of fun chatting with new friends, the sweepers (who passed us — heyo!) and of course all of the aid stations. It’s always a party running with Amanda and she really helped keep me distracted throughout the race with her sense of humor, mom jokes and Hamilton soundtrack karaoke skills.

But, she also went all Biggest Loser on me and got into my head a bit. Especially during the stretches I’m sure she knew I was struggling. The one thing she said during the race that stuck with me the most was — let go of the brakes.

In downhill running the easiest way to run is to lean forward and just run. But, I was holding back. I was slowing myself down by leaning back and shuffling more than striding. As soon as she pointed this out to me it was easy for me see this too — and I knew better. I knew exactly what I was doing.

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A post shared by Josher 🏃🏻‍♂️🏋🏻‍♂️🥩 (@runfitketo) on Aug 25, 2019 at 10:40am PDT

So I really focused on letting go of the brakes for the rest of the race. I let the quads just do their thing. I might not have had the juice like I have had in the past — but, the motion felt familiar and more fluid. As I focused on my gait I started to really internalize what other breaks I needed to let go of, especially in my running.

I think I’ve been pumping the breaks a lot the past couple of years. There’s been a lot of hesitation here and there regarding my health — whether it’s been my thyroid, back and/or ankle. It’s been frustrating and I feel like I’ve been pumping the brakes for various reasons. But, what it really boils down to are doubts and fears.

I can’t tell you how much more apprehensive I’ve become to push my limits here or there because of my back. It really does a mental number of you, because you want to push yourself at a degree you know you can push yourself, but on the other hand, you don’t want to because you could lay yourself out for a week if you screw up your back again. It’s a crappy cycle of mental madness.

I can’t let those fears stop me. I know I can’t stop. If I stop the doubts, fears and health problems win. So why am I pumping the brakes? What am I afraid of? I know I’m not afraid of success. I know I’m not afraid of failure. I think what it really boils down to is afraid of losing a sport, lifestyle and community that has changed my life. That’s what I am afraid of losing.

But, I realized something while reflecting on this all during the race. I will definitely lose it all if I am too afraid to not take risk at all. If I risk nothing I gain nothing. And, I don’t want that. I don’t dream of winning races, I dream of growing old with this sport. That is why I must risk more than what my fears and doubts want me to risk.

Anyways — that’s a lot of deep and heavy thinking for a race report. But, that’s where my head and heart stayed for most of this race. It was a real gut check of my priorities, abilities and desires and I totally blame Amanda. She was the one who told me to let go of the breaks.

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A post shared by Josher (@josherwalla) on Aug 24, 2019 at 6:57pm PDT

Once we were out of the canyon the last mile or two were in the valley taking us toward the finish line at Payson Park. It got pretty ugly hot, especially since I was wearing a black running shirt. But, at the mile 12 aid station my friend Tiffany handed me an ice cold Diet Coke — it was truly the best Diet Coke I’ve ever had in my life. I may of guzzled it and had sea lion burps for a good half mile, but I still have no regrets. It hit the spot!

After making the final turn toward the finish line I had such a feeling of relief and gratitude. It was a tough race which I did in 3:22 hours — not my best time — but I didn’t care at all. I was done. I gave it everything. And, not only was I finished but after going through all that mental inventory for a good chunk of the race I felt recommitted to doing what I needed to do regardless of the hand dealt to me.

My legs were completely dead and that felt great. Not only was it a reminder of what I did, but a reminder of how much work that’s in front of me as well. And, that’s exciting me. I may never reach certain goals of mine, but I can sure as hell work hard toward them — and that’s what I need and want to do.

Past Mt. Nebo Half Times

2013 – 2:09:25 2014 – 2:18:45 2015 – 2:40:02 2017 – 3:02:55 2018 – 2:43:15 2019 – 3:22:44

My Next Five Races

Revel Big Cottonwood Half Marathon; September 14, 2019

The Haunted Half: SLC; October 19, 2019

The Haunted 5K: Provo; October 26, 2019

South Davis Turkey 10K; November 28, 2019

New Year’s Revolution Run; January 1, 2020

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A post shared by Trails & Pavement (@trailsandpavement) on Jan 21, 2019 at 7:46pm PST

RACE RECAP: Mt. Nebo Half was originally published on Life In The Slow Lane.

[butterflies-and-muse]

Tag game

Thanks for tagging me @sing-for-muse !! Omg and the wonderful @my-dark-shines tagged me too thank you sm!! Alright here we go

THE LAST: 1. Drink: Water 2. Phone call: My sister 3. Text message: I usually use DMs, and that would be my friend Shailah. But if it has to be text its my sister. 4. Song you listened to: Fairly Local - Twenty one pilots 5. Time you cried: I don’t remember

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: yeah.. I have.. 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: No 8. Been cheated on: No 9. Lost someone special: Yes 10. Been depressed: oh yeah 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: haha no I’ve never drunk

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12. Red 13. Blue 14. Black

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: Yes!! 16. Fallen out of love: hmm I don’t think so 17. Laughed until you cried: ohh yes 18. Found out someone was talking about you: I don’t think so 19. Met someone who changed you: I believe so 20. Found out who your friends are: I’m not totally sure what’s being asked here, but I think so 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Fun fact- I actually deleted my Facebook a long time ago because Ive had since I was like 9 and it was pure cringe.

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friend do you know in real life: If you replace Facebook with Instagram, then its almost all of them 23. Do you have any pets: Yes!! I have a cat named Bella and she may or may not hate me 24. Do you want to change your name: Another fun fact- I have a pretty unique name but I happen to share it with a porn star.. So that’s nice. I guess I would like to change my name, but I don’t think I will. 25. What did you do for your last birthday: I invited a lot of my friends to my house and we ate tacos 26. What time did you wake up: uhem.. uhh definitely not 3 in the afternoon because I fell asleep at 6:30am,, definitely not that one 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: I’m pretty sure I was practicing the piano 28. Name something you can’t wait for: Season 3 of vld!! 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Like a few minutes ago 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I just really wish I could see my friends more (fun fact #3 I recently moved) 31. What are you listening to right now: At this moment? Well nothing, but thanks for giving me the idea to listen to music while I finish this post. 32. Have you ever talked to a person named tom: Close, his name was tommy 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: LoTS, I don’t think this post needs to be 6 pages long though. 34. Most visited website: YouTube and Tumblr

RANDOM INFO 35. Mole/s: No, but lots of random dark freckles, unless you consider that a mole 36. Mark/s: Yes!! 37. Childhood dream: I believe a scientist 38. Hair color: Brown with blonde ombré 39. Long or short hair: Long 40. Do you have a crush on someone: Maybe 41. What do you like about yourself: That I have made wonderful friends 42. Piercings: Just some ear piercings 43. Blood type: Is it bad that I don’t know? 44. Nickname: I have a few, but my main is Angie 45. Relationship status: Single 46. Zodiac: Aries 47. Pronouns: She/her 48. Favorite tv show: At the moment it’s vld 50. Right or left hand: Right 51. Surgery: No 52. Hair dyed a different color: Yes 53. Sport: I used to play softball and volleyball ..the good old days when I actually did something with my life 55. Vacation: Mi casa 56. Pair of trainers: I do not know what this is

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: I’m actually currently eating these weird cinnamon things 58. Drinking: Is this asking if I drink, or what I drink. Idk but I’m just gonna say water. 59. I’m about to: Sleep ..sometime, probably. Actually that’s a lie. 61. Waiting for: Ik this is like the 3rd time I’ve mentioned this, but I have no life. Vld. 62. Want: I just really want some french fries right now 63. Get married: I don’t know if anyone would actually want to marry this 64. Career: I would love a career in music, but as that is unlikely I do really like science. Maybe an astronomer. 65. Hugs or kisses: Both 66. Lips or eyes: Eyes 67. Shorter or taller: I’m pretty average 68. Older or younger: Younger 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: uhhhh 71. Sensitive or loud: Probably loud, but actually both 72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Depends who I’m with

I did most of this tag but my tumblr is being really glitchy and keeps deleting my progress, so the full tag is at @sing-for-muse 

I tag: @exogenesis-lights @we-were-kissing-gods @youwillneverownmeagain @ohmisbelieverr @spiral-static @hoverboard-howard I kind of just tagged some random blogs so I hope you don’t mind

[ely-en]

5. Sir, bakit ka umalis? (Kasi ganun)

Hey Tumblr! It's been a while. Last time I logged in was the time I wanted to make weekly updates about my life. Looking back at my previous post, I was sad because I'm unemployed because back then I thought work will give you life. In a way, that's still true because of bills and stuff. But, right now after 2 years, 2 job titles, and 3 companies later, I'm unemploye d again but right now, I'm looking for life. Having said that, I'm not writing now on how I'll be in constant search for exitentialism. I'm writing right now because my students keep asking why I left. Yep, I had students because in a way, at the back of my mind, even though I never wanted it, I always felt like being a mentor (maybe because of too much anime, see: Soujiro Hiko or Eikichi Onizuka... weeb -_-). For this post, I'll be speaking in Taglish because I'm conyo that way, I'm kidding for those who don't understand e-sarcasm. I just want to convey the ideas in a way that my students will understand, in their mother tongue. So, para sa mga Alien na babasa nito, eto na. Sana wala na masyadong magtanong: 1. I never planned to stay long - I know my strengths and weaknesses. I'm a deep thinker (PAYABANG!) but I'm not a talker. Kinuha ko yung opportunity magtura para masanay ako magsalita sa harap ng maraming tao. Kinakailangan ko sanayin magsalita kasi sa tingin ko kailangan ito sa career na pinaplano kong puntahan. So, sa plano ko, after 1-2 years lang ako magtuturo pagkatapos magfofocus na ko sa pagkapsych major ko. Yun naman talaga inaaral ko hanggang ngayon. 2. Traffic - Pag nasa Pilipinas ka, di na dapat excuse ang traffic sabi nung first boss ko. Walang lugar sa Pilipinas na hindi traffic. Siguro, hindi dapat traffic nilagay ko as reason, parang mas appropriate ang time constraint. Nag-aalarm ako 4am everyday, pero mga 5 something na ako kumikilos. Dapat kasi 5:30am nakaalis na ako ng bahay, latest is 5:45am, para makadating ako sa school ng before 7am. Normal lang naman diba? 1hour something yung biyahe, bakit ako nagiinarte? Pauwi. 4pm ang out ko pero maaga na yung 6pm nasa bahay na ko. Pauwi naman, anong problema ko? From 7am-2pm nakatayo ako, magdamag nagsasalita. Gusto ko magpahinga kasi may iba din akong responsibilities after work. On my part, alam kong negative mindset to, don't worry guys I'm trying to fix this part of myself. I'm blowing it out of proportion pero kahit mahirap, kailangan mag-adjust. 3. Studies - Mayabang ako eh. Inisip ko kakayanin ko magwork ng Mondays-Fridays then Saturdays for my Masteral Studies then Sundays for chores. Sabi ko, bata pa naman ako, malakas ako. Then POOF! I became Koko Crunch. Yung tipong madali madurog. Sinubukan ko naman kayanin yung work ko pero pag dating ng Saturday, sabihin na lang naten na hindi madali mag MA. Kailangan talaga mas malakas ka sa isang daang porsiyento ni Toguro (Ghost Fighter/Yu yu Hakusho reference). Ang assignment ko due in a week pero pang 1 month yung effort na kailangan mo bigay. Okay OA, pero mahirap talaga siya lalo na kung nahihirapan ka ibudget yung oras mo everyday. 4. Simple Physics - Sa mga di naka-gets, tanong niyo yung 9A batch 16-17. Ayoko sana siya pagusapan dito kasi wala naman na ko talagang hard feelings sa kanya pero I can't deny na I was getting to the point na umiinit yung ulo ko, nawalan ako ng gana pumasok dahil sa kanya. For those who don't know me personally, I don't like the idea of "hate", kahit na nandiyan naman talaga yung negative force na yan. As much as I wanted to see the good in everybody, it came to a point na I feel attacked pag kinakausap niya ko (not a good sign for a good leader, take note everyone). I'll admit na I made mistakes, huge mistakes that could have had major implications to the company and to myself as a person. I wanted to redeem myself pero by that point I wanted nothing more to do with her. In a way, para lang maganda pakinggan, I put myself in exile from my students because of those actions. I WAS working for my students, not for her. In all honesty, I respect her as an educator, she seems like the type of person who can get a point across and get things done. But, since the start, I never liked her as a person, I don't hate her, the proper term may be I'll always be indifferent towards her. I just wanted to get that out. As I said earlier, I don't have hard feelings. I'm still wishing the best for everyone, including her. 5. "Hindi ka nandito para maging mabait" - Nung sinabi sa akin itong mga salitang ito, dun ako napaisip. Matagal, mahirap, pero napaisip akong iwanan yung mga students ko. Sa nagsabi sa akin nito at sa kung sino mang makakabasa nito (I have 3 followers right now who are more less inactive on Tumblr), be careful what you say. No matter what your intention is, be it good or bad, it can leave a big impact on a person. Sinabi saken yang words na yan kasi I was being too friendly with my students and the day before that na late ako (hehe) sa isang klase ko kasi I was talking to one of my students who needed someone to talk to. Let's just say I got caught up with the idea with helping everyone who are feeling what I used to feel. In short, pinagalitan ako pero wala akong pake, kapal ng mukha ko eh hahaha Joke, di ko na maalala yung pagalit saken kasi iniisip ko yung student ko na yun. 6 words was all that it took for me to realize na hindi ako nagtrabaho para makipagkaibigan, ang trabaho ko magturo. Then, few months later, I filed the resignation. Marami pa kong reasons kung bakit ako umalis. Lima lang sinabi ko kasi baka pag dinagdagan ko pa baka maging author na rin ako sa Wattpad (shoutout nga pala sa nagbabasa ng I Love You Since 1892, sayo lang tong special mention yung iba assumera lang hahaha). Anyway, sinabi ko itong reasons na to kasi madami na nagtatanong nagiging inconsistent na yung sagot ko kasi nga dami ko rin reasons kasi nga pinagisipan ko mabuti. Syempre, share ko din sa inyo yung mga natutunan ko sa mga experiences kong yan: 1. It's nice to have a plan. Di ko inexpect na mageenjoy ako sa pagtuturo pero kailangan kasi alam pa rin natin yung mga priorities natin as individuals. Hindi man ako nagtuturo sa oras na ito, open pa rin naman ako makipagusap sa inyo. Malay mo mafeature yung kwentuhan naten sa next blog ko hahaha 2. Spend your time wisely. Easier said than done pero di naten maiiwasan na maramdaman na kulang ang oras. Ang mahalaga ay kung nagamit mo ba ang oras mo para mas maimprove ang sarili mo. Sa mga biyahe ko pauwi, sinubukan ko magbasa ng libro (di ako reader, I never finished a novel my whole life aside from comics/manga). Masakit sa mata, nakakahilo lalo na pag dumaan sa humps yung jeep, pero natuto ako. 3. Never stop learning. Mahirap ang school. Boring makinig sa teacher. Isipin mo na lang di naman para sa kanila yung mga pinagsasasabi nila sa harap. Para sayo yan. May mga students diyan na akala nila magaling na sila kasi medyo magulo magsalita ng english yung teacher nila meron din naman na masita lang ng teacher yung kalokohan nila ng konti feeling na niya pasan na niya yung mundo. Bakit ko sinasabi to? Di ko din alam hahaha But seriously, take every opportunity to learn and grow as a person. Maraming nagbabago. Hindi pwedeng kung sino ka kahapon, ganun ka pa rin ang alam mo bukas. Kailangan matuto. Kailangan mag-level up. 4. Huwag kayo matakot. "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering" sabi nga ni Master Yoda. Everyone has their own way of expressing themselves. Try to see each other in a good light. Walk in their shoes (pero pag napupuno ka na walk ON their shoes joke hahaha). People keep hating on the things they don't understand because we let them. Don't force yourself to be liked by anyone, if you feel tension from someone give them space. Learn from them, improve yourself. Respect everyone. 5. Help yourself first before you help anyone. Di mo malilinis yung salamin kung madumi ang tubig (much deep, so wow). Take the time to get to know yourself more, know who you are as a person. Sabi nga ni MJ (Angeles? hindi Michael Jackson kasi), start with the man on the mirror. So ayun nga, masyado akong nagenjoy maging teacher, feeling ko naglalaro ako pero parang nasobrahan kaya minsan nalilimutan ko na kailangan ko pala magturo ng lessons. Do I regret it? No, there's so much more to teach than just grammar and math. The world is your classroom, don't let your mind be stuck on the four walls of a room. Magtuturo pa ba ulit ako? For sure, kahit na di teacher ang tawag saken I still want to share what I learned before I bite the dust (eww). Miss ko ba ang APEC Roxas? Oo naman, you'll never forget your first. I'd like to continue talking to everyone. Isipin niyo na lang Sarahah ako tutal uso naman siya ngayon, anonymously ko sasagutin tanong niyo. Alam niyo naman kung paano ako makakausap eh hahaha Pagod na ko magtype. Be happy Roxas/Pasay, hindi lang APEC, pati yung mga nagtransfer na na feeling nila nakalaya sila joke hahaha Be happy mga Alien.

[i-am-wesley]

tag game

I was tagged by my babes @worldpeacebutinagayway and @rosevanillatea

Rules: answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people.

THE LAST

1. drink: water...boring but true

2. phone call: my dad

3. text message: @cat-fur-everywhere 

4. song you listened to: ever since new york by harry styles. it’s so chill and it gives me good vibes

5. time you cried: saturday because people kept touching the exhibits at the art gallery 

6. dated someone twice: nah son 

7. kissed someone and regretted it: nope and hopefully wont

8. been cheated on: thankfully no

9. lost someone special: sadly too many, mostly family 

10. been depressed: fuck probably 

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: nope not into that 

3 FAVOURITE COLOURS

12. blue!! holy shit blue is just the most beautiful colour... especially when it’s kinda grey too 

13. pastel pink i guess... kinda hated it for ages then grew out of it 

14. yellow and green are growing on me cause they’re funky fresh 

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

15. made new friends: probably, although i’ve more improved existing ones 

16. fallen out of love: not that i can think of 

17. laughed until you cried: several times..,.,., like two days ago

18. found out someone was talking about you: nope, doubt that anyone would be

19. met someone who changed you: i’ve changed i think, but not a lot and not because of anyone else

20. found out who your friends are: same as they’ve always been 

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: probably 

GENERAL

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: i’ve met all of them at least once 

23. do you have any pets: yas one tortie cat named europa and a couple of chickens 

24. do you want to change your name: not really 

25. what did you do for your last birthday: had a picnic in a park with mates and went to white night in town it was so chill

26. what time did you wake up: like 4am sadly but i didn’t get up till 6:30am 

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping thankfully 

28. name something you can’t wait for: getting out of high school boy howdy 

29. when was the last time you saw your mum: i’m sitting a meter away from her

31. what are you listening to right now: rizzoli and isles tbh 

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: too many jesus christ 

33. something that is getting on your nerves: half my teachers 

34. most visited website: school emails and tumblr 

35: hair colour: naturally it’s dark brown but currently it’s really light blonde 

36. long or short hair: mid length??? idk it’s on my shoulders 

37. do you have a crush on someone: between learning a language and two folio subjects??? who has the time??

38. what do you like about yourself: my artistic talent?? i guess 

39. want any piercings: so many more. at the moment i really want my seconds, septum and industrial done. can’t for school tho 

40. blood type: does anaemic count???

41. nickname(s): rubes, rubus, mum and dad used to call me pumpkin 

42. relationship status: single...unsurprisingly 

43. zodiac: pisces!! fish represent 

44. pronouns: she/her generally but they/them would be fine too

45. favourite tv show: criminal minds?? i think?? or stanger things 

46. tattoos: there’s so many that i want but i am a tiny baby and i’m not old enough. really want to get the moon phases first on my inner forearm 

47. right or left handed: boring right hander 

48. surgery: i had stitches on my scalp as a kid and i need my tonsils out soon 

49. piercing: standard ear piercing 

50. sport: i go to the gym..periodically 

51. vacation: i wish 

52. pair of trainers: i avoid mine 

MORE GENERAL

53. eating: nothing sadly 

54. drinking: water 

55. I’m about to: go to bed tbh

56. waiting for: the episode to finish 

57. want: a fucking break 

58. get married: in this economy??? 

59. career: is failing art student a career path cause i’m on it 

WHICH IS BETTER

60. hugs or kisses: depends, probably hugs tho 

61. lips or eyes: have you considered lip eyes (eyes)

62. shorter or taller: well i’m pretty tall so???

63. older or younger: we’re all ancient and forever 

64. nice arms or nice stomach: arms are more fun to draw 

65. hook up or relationship: well well well take me to dinner first at least 

66. troublemaker or hesitant: i have the exasperation of a troublemaker but i cry if anyone yells at me 

HAVE YOU EVER

67. kissed a stranger: nope no thanks 

68. drank hard liquor: hell nope 

69. lost glasses/contact lenses: i lose my sunnies all the time but thankfully haven’t lost my prescription ones 

70. turned someone down: in primary school if that counts 

71. sex on the first date: nope, would need a date first anyway

72. broken someone’s heart: maybe idk

73. had your heart broken: by lost of things 

74. been arrested: regard troublemaker answer 

75. cried when someone died: who hasn’t 

76. fallen for a friend: yes and no, i love them all (not da bois tho they don’t deserve me) but not that way 

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

77. yourself: occasionally 

78. miracles: i’ll believe it when i see it 

79. love at first sight: not really 

80. santa claus: yeah we’ve been surfing together 

81. kiss on the first date: if ya feel like it 

82. angels: if they’re out there they aren’t hanging with me 

OTHER

83. current best friends name(s): scoot and rheen are the loves of my life 

84. eye colour: one time @1ded5sos said they looked like a van gogh painting and i cried. they’re kinda blue grey??

85. favorite movie: dead poets society owns my ass and i would die for those boys 

boy howdy that was long 

i’ve not got 20 frens but i’m gonna tag @cat-fur-everywhere @1ded5sos and anyone else who sees this and wants to have a go