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#i just get sort of burned out
a-sky-of-diamonds · 1 year
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*barges into your house through your window*
so how we feeling about the limited life finale?
VERY happy :DD
I've been rooting for Martyn since Last Life, when I first started watching his perspective*, and honestly don't care that much about the angst of betrayals or anything – I was rooting for him SO hard in the last three series (and especially this one because I think he said there wasn't a series 5 planned at that point yet and I needed him to get a win ok) and it's FINALLY happened and I don't care what happened to get there. He deserves the win, especially after coming 3rd in the two previous seasons. Aaaahhh
*(gather round for backstory time under the cut)
Basically I watched Grian for 3rd Life, and later on watched Scott's perspective too (and started to watch Cleo's too, it was really good I just never got around to finishing it), but didn't actually watch any of Dogwarts (actually because of the perspectives I watched, during the battle of the red desert where Scott and Grian lost their first lives and Jimmy permadied, I remember really hoping Grian would kill Martyn and was really happy when he died to a skeleton... how times change, huh...). But people were talking about it and I was curious, and I think what finally pushed me to watch their POV was a Renchanting animatic I saw ("I hear a symphony" by Ratzy – if anyone hasn't seen it please do it's incredible. You can interpret it as either romantic or platonic, I interpreted it as the latter (I'm not super into shipping, I'm an aro who isn't that big of a fan of romance so I mostly tend to stay away, and in my opinion deep friendships can be just as important if not more than romantic relationships), but either way it hits like a truck and please guys, just watch it)?
Anyway, since I already knew Ren from Hermitcraft I was like "you know what, I'm going to try watching Martyn for a change, I want to see what his perspective is like". So I began watching it, and found it REALLy good, and right around that time, Last Life came out? So I decided yeah, I'm still going to watch Grian, but I'm definitely watching Martyn's perspective too (especially after the voice). And at the start I was still more invested in Grian's perspective, but I think around episode 4/5 it started to shift, and I think when episode 6 came out I decided to watch Martyn's perspective first (Grian hadn't uploaded yet and I needed to know what happened) and that was a big thing because I'd always watch Grian first and I was breaking from that (also Grian is still an amazing content creator and I do watch him sometimes, it's just preferences shifting over time). And it stayed that way for the rest of Last Life, and I'd say near the end was the time he became my main POV (I'm not sure if I watched Grian's last two episodes?). And I'm honestly SO glad that happened, because??? all the lore and storytelling in last life??? is absolutely incredible, and as someone still so invested in the meaning, story and coherency of 3rd life and sort of still holding Last Life to the same standard when it was very different, the voice lore provided such a cool narrative to watch, and it's definitely one of my favourite perspectives in the whole of the Life series (with Grian 3rd life and Pearl double life coming close).
And then it stayed like that, with me rooting for him each season (and he got SO close in last and double life too), also occasionally watching Pearl first for Double Life as well and following her perspective a lot, and same with Limited Life but with Scott.
And so yeah after 3 seasons and twice coming SO so close, he completely deserved the win, and I'm honestly really happy he did what he did at the end instead of engaging in that fight – if he came so close and didn't win again I'd be pretttttty sad (though happy for the winner).
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st-hedge · 3 months
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Cleaned up the sketch of these dinkdonks a little bit. The names have stuck with me so the weirdo on the left is definitely Ono and on the right is Yudai. I still don’t know about the fox thing but calling it Mikan like the orange is pretty fuckin cute
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worldsewage · 4 months
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"much to Valentine’s dismay." oohhg can I know more...I got a bowl of rice to offer
Valentine is an Octarian elite who has no interest in abandoning her role as such, she is undyingly loyal to the Octarian Army and excelled in military school and was placed in a school designed for elites, she was constructing weapons for as long as she can remember and has ZERO thoughts of ever abandoning the domes. She has made something of herself here and she has issues with communication and comes off blunt and aggressive at times so she struggles keeping/making friends, so the approval of her superiors and the trust the army puts in her is a love good enough for her.
Until Satua, at least.
Valentine, also, has no idea how they found themself in the metro, she woke up with a sense of urgency and a few strange blank memories that made her piece together— with Craig telling her he needs help— that she (probably) needs to act, and help the people around her in order to save something. She has no idea what, and has a building frustration inside her that she can’t name. She thinks she’s doing something bigger than herself. She acts, for a moment, as a hero— an agent 8 in the metro, she plays into this role and feels angry and needed and vital, then more of her memories come back and she gets hit with the Guilt… feeling like a bystander who is trapped inside their own body, watching themselves do and say things they can’t control as her memories idly return, clueing her into the person she is, or was.
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herearedragons · 3 days
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Pillars Of Eternity playlist: The Devil Of Caroc
full playlist
The Oh Hellos - A Kindling, Of Sorts
[instrumental]
Tarja - Victim Of Ritual
Hysterical, tragical Victim of ritual Cynical, critical Victim of ritual She's a killer, killer
Disturbed - Inside The Fire
End your grief with me There's another way Release your life Take your place inside the fire with her
Placebo - Infra-Red
I'm coming up on infra-red There is no running that can hide you 'Cause I can see in the dark I'm coming up on infra-red Forget your running, I will find you
Disturbed - Run
I've spent a lifetime planning out your destruction You're never gonna witness another day A lonely lifetime planning out your destruction, with no other function You really don't know how long I've waited for your destruction
Disturbed - Old Friend
You can't escape your judgment I hear them calling out your name Do not beg for mercy now You never showed any to them
The Birthday Massacre - Destroyer
This is a tragedy, I meet with it gratefully It's my execution, and you're joining me When night expires across this town, I'll light a fire to burn it down
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I've had some ANF thoughts today. Y'all know how much I hate the "love triangle" aspect of the story with Javi, Kate, and David, right? If you can even call it a love triangle; it's more of a "David and Kate never felt like a married couple to begin with and now Javi has the chance to bone his sister-in-law as if that's not a weird thing to do at all👍" thing, so... not great.
I'm also just not fond of Kate as a character in general. She's pretty good in ep1, but after that it's a slippery slope as she's relegated to the injured love interest for Javi. There are interesting aspects to her, like how she's resourceful and on top of things, she keeps track of herds and overall is shown to be incredibly smart. But, she also has moments where she has to let herself be emotional and a little panicked because she knows she needs to get it out of her system in order to focus. She gets frustrated with Gabe and says things she shouldn't, and she just.... I dunno, does dumb shit sometimes? And that would be fine if it made sense... but it doesn't.
I was always more interested in the Garcia brothers aspect of ANF, and felt the story would've been improved if it focused more on Javi and David, their relationship as brothers in the past and how different it is after they've found each other again in the apocalypse. One of the best scenes in the entire game is the rooftop scene where David ask Javi to stand with him.
And so I was thinking about ANF this morning and what could be done to make Kate fit better in the story and like...it hit me: Kate should've been their sister.
No, seriously, hear me out: Kate should've been written to be the middle child of the Garcia siblings instead.
Do you know how much that would fix? Throw that stupid love triangle in the trash. It was never good, it did nothing for Kate's character, and now David and Javi don't have to bicker about who she's married to and who gets to bone her, okay? No bullshit fight at the end!
David was already married once, just let him be divorced or a widower, and a single father. Javi can have a new love interest; hell, give him two if you want, let him be a bi king over Eleanor and Tripp- wait, no that just creates another love triangle, damn it-
Anyway... if Kate was their sister, then her entire character overflows with potential that wasn't there before.
I say make her the middle child who was stuck with two rivaling brothers, one a military man who became a single father and the other a professional baseball player who lost it all in a gambling scandal.
What about Kate? Perhaps she's a single woman who doesn't know what she wants in life. She doesn't want to settle down and have kids like David did, but she also doesn't want to sink so low like Javi did. She wants to travel, but needs money to do that so she does what she can save up, but there's always something that makes her dip into her savings.
Y'know... like her father getting sick and needing to pay for treatments, which Kate is happy to give up those savings so for a chance for him to beat cancer, but there's always that little bit of bitterness lingering inside her that keeps saying, "it's never about what I want, it's always about David or Javi, I'm going no where, I'm no one, even I don't know who I am or what I want, what am I doing? Papa got sick, so Javi ran away again, and so did David when he reenlisted, and who got left behind to take care of everything? Me, it's always me left to take care of Mama and Papa, and the kids, and everything else!"
Maybe she acted as a mediator between the brothers, too. They always relied on her when they were pissed with each other, they vented all their problems to her, and she always tried to get them to connect on something, but never found that right thing.
Hell, this way she could get along with the kids better, too. She's just Aunt Kate. She always volunteered to babysit them for David. She and Gabe still have their tiffs due to clashing attitudes, but there's no "you're not my mother!" vibe.
Suddenly Kate's her own person and not just an object the game throws at you for the brothers to grunt "she's muh wife!" "but I love her, too!" at.
ANF becomes the story of these three siblings who experienced the worst night of their lives together: their father died after a long battle with cancer, their mother is distraught, Javi didn't show up in time, David's drinking on the porch and Kate's trying to look out for everyone. Then the outbreak happens, their father comes back as a walker and bites their mother, David rushes off with her to the hospital while Kate and Javi take the kids...
Years later, Kate and Javi have accepted that they've lost their parents and big brother, and they're doing what they can to keep their niece and nephew alive... until Kate gets shot and they reunite with David, because then everything gets extra complicated with the three siblings trying to repair broken bridges and survive together until they hit a breaking point where Kate gets sick of David's shit. She's done trying to be nice and play mediator, she's ready to do what she thinks is right and an argument breaks out... and Javi's forced to choose between his brother or sister, and the tragedy becomes about being unable to save one of them... not matter what, in the end, Javi will lose a sibling because no matter how hard he tried, they still fell apart.
And that's just the tip of the iceberg.
I just really hate every plot they give Kate, y'all. She was done dirty.
And I loathe love triangles that involve two siblings [usually it's brothers] falling in love with the same person, okay? I don't have the patience for it, I just want all of those love triangles to go far, far away from me forever and never bother me again.
Anyway, do you love this thing I do where I show up after months of inactivity to slap something like this down before scurrying away? Because I'm scurrying now.
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shallowseeker · 17 days
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Worth pointing out... Dean is a soldier.
In this episode, 5x03, he came all this way expecting to die with Cas facing an archangel, which is the thing he may arguably be the most afraid of in this particular moment (with the recent stuff with Lucifer, Michael, etc)
...all because Cas asked.
Dean's used to risking his life for loved ones, friends, and fellow hunters all the damn time. Like... the sad thing IS that when it comes to risking his life for others? It hardly registers.
Back in 2x20, we saw that when faced with happiness, Dean remembered John's "heroic" example.
DEAN: It's like my old life is, is coming after me or something. Like it like it doesn't want me to be happy. Course I know what you'd say. Well, not the you that played softball but... "So go hunt the Djinn. He put you here, it can put you back. Your happiness for all those people's lives, no contest. Right?" But why? Why is it my job to save these people? Why do I have to be some kind of hero? (begins to cry while talking) What about us, huh?
It's what most, nearly all (?), of the soldier-coded characters tend to do. I think too of Mary in Apocalypse-word. The sad part is that, in many ways, the real Mary is even more of a soldier than John was.
MARY: (looking uncomfortable) I, uh...Boys, um...About that. [Dean and Sam look at their mother, confused. Mary sighs.] MARY: I’m not going back. DEAN: I’m sorry. What? MARY: I fought beside these people. I respect them. I respect their cause. You can’t expect me to just abandon them. SAM: No, Mom, that’s not -- You heard what Lucifer said. We have 31 hours -- MARY: I -- Sam...Dean...I know what you went through to come find me. [Dean scoffs at that. He is obviously upset.] MARY: But these people are being slaughtered. They need me here. DEAN: (getting angry) No, we need you, Mom. We do.
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cerise-on-top · 6 months
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saw you write for madness so i’m new! if its alright could i req sanford and deimos comforting their s/o after a breakdown?
if i req again i’ll probably be ⚡️ anon if it’s not taken. tysm + love ur writing!
Hey there! Yes you can! I hope I did the request justice! And no, I don't think that emoji is taken yet!
Sanford and Deimos Comforting Their S/O After a Breakdown
Sanford: The moment he sees you crying he’s rushing over to you to aid you in any way he can, crouching down to seem less intimidating and putting a hand on your shoulder to show you he’s there for you. He’s going to ask you a rushed and concerned “What’s wrong?” before intently listening to anything you have to say. Sanford will likely pull you into a tight hug. It won’t be crushing, he’ll actively try to be more gentle than that, but it will be tight enough for some air to leave your lungs. If you’re about to fall apart then he’ll hold you together. Although he knows that the worst of the worst might be over already, he’ll still hold you tight and be quiet for a moment, hoping that that will help you at least a little bit. Sanford isn’t one for distractions if he knows he can help you, so he’ll ask you what’s wrong and how he may be able to help you in that moment. If he’s unable to help you in any way shape or form he might feel as though he’s failed you if it’s particularly bad, but if you just need some cheering up then he’ll try. He’s very big on cuddling, so he’d love to hold you and cheer you up like that, if you allow it. However, if you’re not big on physical touch or just don’t want to be touched too much in that moment, then, once it’s not as obvious anymore that you broke down, he’ll go on a walk with you. The scenery may not be particularly nice, but it’s better than sitting around and doing nothing. He can be rather chatty, plus he’s a trustworthy guy, so you can tell him about anything you need to get off your chest. He’ll listen, he’ll give you advice, he’ll seek out revenge for you, anything you need. Will even cook a homemade meal for you if it cheers you up, and he’s a pretty good cook.
Deimos: He, too, will rush to your side and ask you what happened, if you need anything and if he can help you. Deimos’ approach to helping you consists of cheering you up by distracting you. He knows a few good jokes he can crack that might get you to smile, but he’s not opposed to listening to you either if you need it. Doesn’t have too much good advice to give that isn’t needlessly violent or chaotic, so you’re better off going to Sanford for that one. However, he’ll do what he can to get you to smile again. Hell, if you want, he’ll pay for some fast food as well. Fast food is always good and appropriate in his eyes, so why wouldn’t it be for you? Some good food always cheers him up when he’s upset, might work for you as well. He’s not the best with words in more dire situations, but he tries, although he really won’t know what to say. Yes, he prefers listening in those situations, even if he can be a real chatterbox otherwise. If his jokes don’t get you to smile, then his brain short circuits and he goes quiet. He actually goes more serious then as well. You can then proceed to talk to him about all that serious stuff and he’ll respond honestly. Might even open up about some of his own struggles to show you you’re not alone, that he can relate to you, if your struggles are similar. He’s really not trying to diminish your struggles, just wants to show you he cares. You will likely end up with an impromptu therapy session together where you both talk about your issues, but you will likely grow closer as a result. If he knows you’re okay with it, then he’ll wrap his arm around your shoulder and pull you closer to him so that your head rests on his shoulder. You should really rest up for the day, he’ll make sure that tomorrow is a brighter, nicer place for you.
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svturn-exe · 1 year
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MADE IN GLORY half·alive - creature
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todayisafridaynight · 1 month
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NO YOU’RE SO RIGHT ABOUT THE MAJIMA STUFF THOUGH. GOD. God forbid you speak poorly about the fandom silly guy etc etc. I rt’d one post about someone being annoyed abt majima getting an insane amount of merch (especially compared to other characters- even other PLAYABLE characters) and suddenly my TL is filled with ppl taking it as a personal attack….. like?? Settle down???
My one fear is that instead of Mine content we’re just gonna get Majima Saga 2 for yk3 and rgg will call it a day. WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO SAY ABOUT THE GUY !!! GENUINELY!!!
at this rate we’re going to have a complete record of Majima’s life from birth until modern day bc you knowww they’re never gonna let the cash cow die or retire. + god I lowkey need the 3jimas to break up Now so saejima and daigo can stand on their own again (w/out being overshadowed by Majima)…. Saejima especially… I miss the days when he felt like a character………
(I may have a lot to say on the topic) (he’s a fun character but at this rate I’m getting so sick of the fandom around him)
gen is kinda funny how when there's the Monthly Critique Of Majima post on twitter the rggtwt part of the tl is flooded with majima fans being upset. its like clockwork really LOL
as for saejima, i do miss him being solo... like he's funny with majima at times, but as wack as Y4 was i still really liked his coliseum scene, and his prison adventures in Y5 were a real treat too..
#snap chats#like you say one mild comment about majima in passing and then you have mates acting as if you burned their crops#like .. its never this serious .. also i think people have the right to be a littttttle miffed that other charas barely get anything#its starting to change with the plushies and saejima/akiyama figures so thats great but. still a way to go LOL#its just esp Lol inducing because kiryu and ichi are protagonists so it makes sense for them to get stuff#but majima is quite literally a side character that wasnt meant to have this much popularity#the concept of a chara becoming popular by accident isnt bad thats not the thing- its even cool when that happens#its just sometimes you just see people act really entitled to stuff for that character while every other chara is ignored#and then the same people acting surprised when others go 'actually ive had a bit enough of this guy'#honestly if they did another majima segment for a hypothetical yk3 id laugh. like id be a bit annoyed but id mostly laugh#cause truly what else is there. he's like a comic book character we just gotta keep making situations for him til hes 90#idk. just so funny majima's been given a sort of 'weird' protagonist status#and i say weird because he IS a protagonist but just compared to how he actually functions throughout y1-y6. lol. lmao even#like youre right in that majima's a fun character but he really is better in just small doses imo#or. at least i need people to relax on the idea of a 'majima gaiden' or making him any more prominent in the games than he is now#anyway i cant be bitter posting my dad is being funny as hell. he got us bracelets and he was like#'in our family you and i are the only ones who like these. makes us cool' and i was like 'yeah dad we're so cool'#and this old man is just 'we're so cool ☺️' LIKE PL E A S E THE EMOJI TOOK ME OUT. i love my dad. all bitterness is gone from my heart#anyways bye if rgg gives majima a saga in yk3 im gonna livestream playing that and only that#not even yk3 just the majima part 😭😭😭😭
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topicaltropic · 3 months
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oops! all wips
#dndads#1st img is morgan . tried to solidify the type of person that would marry glenn & jodie and its like#manic pixie dream girl meets wife under bedsheets. fun loving carefree extremely irresponsible i imagine shes as much a bad mom as glenn is#a bad dad#close family dinner for each day of the week#i imagine its very depressing cool for kids sad for adult/college life meals#i had like a pmv/animatic of tmbg erase to nicks everything but ill never finish it sadge!#comic in the middle i was gonna do like a immediately after the final where willys defeated and schools out for summer norm and scary run#into eachother while theyre walking home#and scary would ask whats wrong and normal would be like#well knowing that the entire world ended because of me has been sort of weighing#on me yeah“ and then scary would go ”normal...do you wish that *was* the reason?“ which would lead normal getting dumbstuck cuz she hits#the nail on the hammer. and then hes incredibly defensive and hes like uh b buh NO !!! MAYBE !!! and scary would share her experience#but itd make normal more resentful cuz hed be like well it all worked out for you in the end with you and your dad and you mom who all love#you. and then scary would get irked and start to call him out but then now that the bottles been uncorked his resentment would start#spilling out.#“you burned my house down! i thought it was *my* family that had the connection with the doodler ! but why- when- ”#and normal would be so frustrated and he couldnt get his words out and hed refuse to look at scary while she looks at him w/ the hardest#look of conflicted sympathy and pain#and all she could say would be stop comparing yourself to me and shed mean that in the most compassionate way possible and norm would just#be like i know#and then the bus would come and scary would have to go but shed look back and then be like “am i still coming over saturday to play#and him busy crying would just give a thumbs up#god now that i write this out maybe i will draw it i have a little bit of time left why not#to me i think scarys someone normal would have the easiest time being mean to#one because of his latent misogyny and this like unconscious superciliousness he holds towards her yet shes the one receiving the#validation he sorely craves and knowing if theres anyone he could talk to and whos understand what hes going through its her so though he#isnt able to be emotionally vulnerable or engage in a deeper level but he does feel comfortable enough to lash out at her#last pic is if nick woke up post doodlerized and found himself on cassandras couch (where the teens placed him) and shes there to greet him
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ccbatman · 3 months
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actually so evil how much of hal's internal world gets obliterated with the rewriting of his relationships with jessica and martin.
#hal jordan#empyrean posting#ok going in the tags because im not actually v confident in my understanding of his character. i read all of his 80s/90s stuff but forgot#90% of it but ANYWAY.#so much of him just does not make sense with how geoff johns characterises him and his relationships with his parents particularly the#parallax stuff simply because of how much his relationship with the guardians and their apathy/'betrayal' is influenced by hal's original#relationship with his dad. like at its heart it's pretty much the same dynamic in how hal blindly trusts and sort of idolises the guardians#despite their repeated infractions in hope of... something in return just as he had with his father and the abuse he suffered at martin's#hands. that's what makes his anger at the guardians make sense when it does show itself because the relationship parallel didn't stop there.#as with martin hal gets nothing for his devotion. he gets nothing for doing everything that's asked of him and more and it ends the same way#too: with a man in the sky burning like a newborn star. and you lose so much of that nuance and intrigue behind that if you just make#jessica the 'bad one' because!!! you cheapen it!!!!#the whole idea of hal is that he has his father's face but his mother's scars#(to me). in the sense that they both reacted to martin the same way with that cognisance of who he was as a man yet inability to pull away#because... love. both the love they had for him and the conviction that he did or could love them too. and jessica arguably did eventually#but also she didnt did she? because she held onto that notion of love till the very end. the few scraps she had she ballooned outwards until#they became the whole. but hal didnt have even that and he spent his whole life chasing it & running away from wanting it at the same time#like i think there's something so interesting to the fact that he had to be convinced that flying was what he wanted to do. how much of that#was touched by his father? the fear that he was already too much like him than he could bear to be? he already had his face now he had his#dreams and longing for the sky. how much more could he have before he began repeating the cycle?#and at the end he even had his father's death. burning in the clouds. like there's so much there and that's not even touching on how it#impacts his relationships with other heroes. not just in the sense of why did kyle clark and diana get to keep their close yet complex#relationships with their moms when hal had to lose his (although yeah why did they) but also just how he lets himself come across to them.#because it's on purpose right? that he lets them think his reflection of his father is born out of unadulterated love for a man worthy of it#? he has his father's job he wears his father's jacket he smiles his father's smile. what else are they supposed to think.#and isnt that interesting!!! that this man who is so committed to being good & just can lie so casually to people he thinks of as friends!!!#can you see how that might be his mother through and through!!! in how she might have glossed over the abuse to other people and herself!!!#can you see how in spite of it all he might want to be perceived as his father that paragon of masculinity and resent that he is not!!!#do you understand how everything he loves has been poisoned!!! im thinking of that scene where he tells bruce about watching martin die &#wouldnt it have been so much more interesting through this lens. how he is both revealing & obfuscating at once. i hate the change sm
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opens-up-4-nobody · 5 months
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...
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torgawl · 11 months
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i'm too mentally unwell for this (people shoving ragbros angst in my face at 10 am)
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yoinkschief · 1 year
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Hello Jay, I would like to hear your headcanons about Tom and his mom 👀👀👀 Go on, speak into the mic 🎤
AAA HI NEIL I'M SO GLAD YOU ASKED
Taps mic 🎤 ahem
Buckle in cause this got absurdly long I did not expect to get this long omll
So I guess I'll begin when he was younger,, when his mother and father first got married they were just going into their 30s, and while weren't actually trying for a kid they did end up having one: Tom
Barbara (Tom's mom) was ecstatic at having a kid whereas Peter (Tom's dad) was terrified, he knows he has anger issues and is very aware of how he's gotten easily frustrated with children in the past and doesn't want to get angry towards his soon to be son (though Barbs has been a dear with helping him and his anger, truly he'd be in jail by now if not for her)
Fast forward a bit, Tom's born and while Peter isn't magically cured of any anger issues, Tom is just the sweetest little guy and he, genuinely throughout his fatherhood, has not once gotten angry at his son. Gotten angry a good few things, but his son and wife weren't in that list
Tom is also born completely nonverbal (this is a little reference to how 2004 he's drawn without a mouth,,, I know that all the characters are at this time because mmm animation but in most fanart of 2004 only Tom is the one kept without a mouth because that and his one eye gives him creechur vibes I love it so I incorporated it like this) due to his autism, and he did get formally diagnosed early on due to this
It's a bit of a struggle trying to figure out what he's saying but he's a quick learner for how to read and write so if he can't get what he's trying to say through hand motions or actions he'll go and write it down (at least when he gets around 5yo, the years before were hard and they had to learn a weird, Tom version of sign language,, to clarify not actual sign language just learning what motions of his mean what)
One interaction I think about a lot with Tom and his mother is in Tom's youth when he's, maybe, 4? And he sees his mom shave her hair for the first time. Tom didn't like the sudden change as she looked like a different person and was having trouble understanding why it was gone
It took Barb a while to fully understand what he meant, why he was crying and whatnot, but finally able to sit him down in her lap he started making a lot of motions towards his own hair and then Barb's, and the interaction goes something like this:
"Are you talking about my hair?" Barbara quietly concerns, gesturing to her now bald head.
Tom made small grunts with wide eyes, rocking in his mother's lap incessantly.
"Okay, okay," She nodded holding her son's hand gently in her own- less so holding and more resting them in her own. "It's gone, baby."
Tom didn't seem to like that answer, shaking his head no with his hand reaching up to grab and tug at his his in distress. His eyes were screwed shut, why would his mom do that? But Barbara was quick to respond with carefully holding her son's hands again, their fingers interlaced as he squeezed on her hands instead in his temper.
"You don't like that it's gone?" She tilted her head to the side, bringing Tom's hands away from his face and towards her chest.
He shook his head no with an upset grunt, swinging his hands (and by proxy his mother's) side to side to drive the point further.
"Ohh,, pumpkin," Barbara gave Tom a sad smile, resting their hands in her lap as she gave him a small, reassuring squeeze.
"It’ll be alright-”
Tom hated that answer more, giving a frustrated noise as his eyes started welling with tears.
“Honey,” Barbara frowned at the tears coming out of her child’s eyes, it hurt to see him so upset, gently running her thumb along his cheeks to swipe them away. “I’m still mama, I’m still you mom.”
She led Tom’s hand over her heart, letting him feel the steady beating of it. The constant and steady pattern of thumping seemed to entrance him for a moment until his mild rocking and distressed noises slowly came to a halt.
“See? It’s still me, baby.” She cooed, running her thumb along the back of her son’s hand. “My hair is gone, but I’m here.”
“Sometimes, in life,” Barbara began, setting Tom’s hands down in his lap again now that he was calmer. “things change, and we can’t control it. Like my hair, you couldn’t control that, could you?”
Tom looked up from watching his hand feel the steady movement of her heart pumping, looking up at his mother’s face. He still looked displeased and upset, but less so, even going as far as to reach for where her hair used to be, trying to grab at the air around her head like it was still there. Fruitless.
She held his hand again, pressing it against her cheek with a broad smile, one she gave him often. He couldn’t keep his resentment for long, giving his own goofy smile back with a giggle. The way her gap tooth showed when she smiled that big was forever burned into his memory, only disappearing from her face so that she could kiss the palm of her son’s hand.
Tom shook his head, frowning at the thought but keeping a wide eyed expression to his mother as she continued her lesson. She smiled to him once again.
“Well, that happens a lot in life.” She sighed, cupping Tom’s cheek in her hand. “And no one likes it, you’re not alone for thinking that. But what you can control is how you deal with the change. Like how you showed me how upset you were, so now we’re talking about it. Do you feel better about it now?”
Tom took a moment, eyes casted down as he thought on it. He gave a small nod as he looked back up at her.
“Good.” She beamed. “And from now on, I’ll do my best to let you know beforehand when I make a change like that, alright?” She kissed Tom’s forehead, causing the child to give a small giggle. That was her favorite noise.
Now, Tom was always a Mama's Boy (not in a derogatory way, he just loved his mom a whole hell of a lot) but even moreso after his father died. They both were grieving and so it caused them to cling closer together because of it, to the point that had it not been for his friend (at the time only Matt, but later Edd too as this was before Tord was introduced to the friend group) he probably would've completely self isolated
They do a ton of things together as Tom gets over and they both eventually heal from Peter's death, baking, sewing, shopping, watch movies, anything they can do when they have the chance to hang out together
They were so close in fact that Barbara was genuinely the first person he came out to for being nonbinary (He/They pronoun user :) ) and of course she loved him unconditionally, but he didn't even tell Matt, Edd or Tord (now in Highschool and having been introduced to delinquent) that yet
However, later in his highschool years, around late Junior year (11th grade) or early Senior year (12th grade) of highschool his mother dies as well. Not from a freak bear with a gun attack though, instead from Pneumonia, which is something she tends to get a lot and always had in her youth, and while it usually isn't fatal and there is treatment and whatnot and she definitely took as much as help as she could, this time just hit different it seemed.
This really fucked with Tom during some of his most important years of his life and caused him to go into a BIG depressive episode for a long long time
Side note that I guess also kinda applies: Had it not been for Tord being just as stubborn of a jackass as Tom, he would've completely self isolated. Edd and Matt helped a lot in his youth but he also had his mom to encourage him, but now with his immediate family all gone he didn't see much of a reason to interact with people. And where Edd and Matt lack in persuasion, Tord more than makes up for in the lack of giving a fuck and would literally drag Tom outside even if he was kicking and screaming. This is mostly because Tord is second only to Tom himself in how durable he is, like a brick shithouse (built like one, too) and not afraid to make Tom hate him if it meant getting him better in the long run (a running theme I have for their relationship :) they're less so "GRR I HATE YOU I HOPE YOU DIE /GEN" and more of like have this weird understanding with eachother where like "I'll literally kill you if you touch me but I'd kill anyone you touched you" type beat, unafraid to get the other to hate them for the greater good because they have the understanding that they wouldn't do something so wildly stupid for no reason. Yes that plays into The End and the future events of WTFuture)
I love them so much oh my god you have zero idea
Anyway, TL;DR
Tom and his mom are extremely close and helped each other get through the worst of times while Tom continues to learn the lesson of "everything changes, it's out of your control, and you can only control how you proceed with it"
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deoidesign · 1 year
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please take as much time as you need to rest and recover. burn out is so hard and takes so much to heal from. your art and your supporters will still be here when you get back :) take care <3
Thank you very much
Unfortunately, my situation doesn't really allow me to take the time I need. I've got a ~two month hiatus scheduled for my midseason, but much like my first hiatus I'll most likely be working double time during it...
It's unfortunate because I could really really use a bigger break!
Having the time and flexibility to work on other projects really fires me up and keeps me going, and being able to take a guilt free day off for family and friends is necessary to my mental health, and I've been having to turn people down lately...
This is a very kind message, and I'm sorry to vent in response! But I just feel transparency about the pressure I'm under is necessary and important. I'd love to take the time I really need, but due to deadlines and that pesky "needing money to live" I can't.
But, once the series is over I intend to take a pretty big break before I start whatever I'm doing next! I've got so many short stories and projects planned that I want so badly to get to, I can't wait to really get to truly dive in to them!
#im so sorry to take a nice message and respond like this! but just... trust me haha i know my supporters are genuinely here for me <3#but webtoon... not so much unfortunately. i mean im sure i could take a longer break but theres the looming anxiety#that ill get in trouble or itll ruin my chances of working with them again etc etc#i took this week and i genuinely took it off. sort of? i flew to a convention which was exhausting#and i did paintings that i hope to print eventually#and i. started planning and prepping for a Kickstarter. for time and time again...#so ive still been working the whole time. but i love working!#i just... like to be able to work on things OTHER than time and time again...#and unfortunately for a few months. more than a few months. i haven't been able to do anything outside of it.#even all of my paintings have been for it cause i cant afford to switch my mindset!#my first hiatus i moved. worked on a pitch for my next series. and then i made two episodes a week the entire time#and i still ran out of episodes...#i dont know if im just not fast enough or if something is wrong with my brain that i have to fight to get it to focus but.#yeah i mean ive been burned out! been really burned out for like a year now#i can tell by how much better i feel after literally 1 week of doing anything else#and how tired i feel explaining this and knowing ive got another 3 months before i get another break#ok sorry i vented a lot more in the tags. it's hard to explain all of this eloquently and i like my posts to be somewhat professional#asks#anon#vent#delete later#and also how often my brain keeps wanting me to like. beg for 'nice words' from other people#(i always stop myself from asking people for compliments and stuff because otherwise i get very carried away and do it too regularly)#(people are very nice to me all the time. the kindness is endless and i need to let myself recognize and appreciate it rather than seek more#(its sort of a mental health thing I've been trying to like... force myself to do)#(for myself and my longevity but also for others sake lol. ive been bad about it in the past)
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atopvisenyashill · 5 months
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AND ANOTHER THING i do think it’s very clear who the dance 2.0 is going to involve when adwd opens with jon, dany, and tyrion. like lol, lmao, that’s not subtle. but that doesn’t mean tyrion is ALSO a secret targaryen. instead ✨my opinion✨is that this is implying that tyrion will be the real power behind One Of The Dragons Involved…and tyrion introduces us to this whole entire insane new plot line that seems to come from nowhere about a third dragon being alive.
and then we got f&b which is just like, a lot of different people jockeying to be the power behind whatever dragon is sitting that throne and how important that close advisor is to keeping any sort of control on power, which is again, not subtle aksjd. SO YEAH, i mean whether tyrion DOES everything he’ll get accused of is probably going to be of heavy debate, but that man isn’t name dropping viserys ii every other convo just to be a targaryen all along. he’s going to be corlys, he’s going to be otto, he’s going to be septon barth, he’s going to be his father writ small - the person actually pulling the strings behind a dragon, not a dragon himself. i think his part in the dance is going to be very similar to all of theirs, which is to say, the moment he rips his own power away from whatever dragon he picks, is the moment that dragon is slated for death. it’s the moment they are SCREWED.
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