#i just need time + figure out how to make things work on desktop

[espectres]

one day I'll be silly enough to make proper graphics for this blog

[bloogers-boogers]

Kyle Brofloski/ Eric Cartman (SP FIC) part 3

/A player with lies/

Fatass can actually move? Kyle gets overly pissy for no good reason and Stan needs a damn break

Slight warning ⚠️ the characters name says it all, if you're not comfortable with the ship then this isn't for you, but if you are then hop on in and enjoy the ride ☆

~~~~

It was a beautiful morning, three boys waited patiently for the bus to arrive, it was a Friday, meaning it's time to finally take a break from school after a hell of a week.

Stan was on his phone as he scrolled effortlessly through his social media, liking randomly posts with out putting to much thought on it.

Kyle yawned tirelessly as he was still caught on doing extra work for school the last few days because of his lack of attendance from last month, so yeah, sucks for Kyle.

And dear Kenny found himself watching some porn shamelessly with out earphones on, as he grinned watching big boobs appear on screen.

The absence of their fourth friend wasn't too noticeable, as Cartman had the tendency to do shit in the morning after breakfast making him come either too late or too early depending on the scheme he's doing.

A blonde beaming boy walked their way, placing himself infront of them, a little too cheerful for their liking.

"Morning to you, Butters," Stan commented, more like a question than a greeting.

"Mornin' hasn't Eric arrived?," he asked glancing at his spot.

Neither bother answering as it was obvious he hasn't.

"Geez, he must be really excited today," He commented as he took out his phone and typed in some music, Kyle arched a brow confused.

"Let me guess, he's 'excited' to lay in bed, doing absolutely nothing, eating junk food for two days straight." Kyle sarcastically said, making the other two boys laugh.

Butters tilted his head, bewildered as he eyed him. Making Kyle feel insecure about being stare down like if he didn't know what he was talking about. He knew the fatass, no one should make him feel like he didn't.

It's Cartman, what else could Cartman be possibly excited for during the beginning of the weekend? If it isn't to lay down in bed and do nothing, mostly school related. Even though he doesn't do much of that either during the week, but still, he had an excuse.

"He.. hasn't told you guys? Oh hamburgers," he looked around, "I think I said too much then," he tried dashing off but Kenny stopped him by placing his hand on his chest pushing him backwards.

"What're you talking about, Butters?," Stan asked, now placing his phone in his pocket.

The blonde scratched his neck nervously before spitting out the truth, "you guys may not know this, but there gonna be a roller derby in town tonight, I thought Eric had already told you guys but-"

"What're you talking about, Butters?," Kyle snapped, gripping on to his shoulders shaking him frantically, "what could possibly Cartman do and hide from us?," He blurted out almost daring.

"Yeah, dude, Cartman's an awful liar, normally he'd come running to us if he was excited about something just to tell us all about it," Stan defended Kyle's argument, even though he found his reaction a little overeating.

"That's what I thought!," Butters exclaimed, letting loose from Kyle's grip, "I figured Eric would've told you by now cause he's been in it since sixth grade. "

"Since sixth grade!?," Kyle blurted out in disbelief, "that's bullshit, Butters. Are you fucking with us? Cartman can't take something seriously for that long!."

"Kyle's right," Kenny chimed in, confused and a little skeptical, "Besides, if Eric's been so serious about something that he's soo into, he would've told me by now."

"And 'in' what!?," Kyle remarked.

"Well if you guys actually let me finish speaking I could explain to you guys what's going on!," Butters snapped now tired, making them all go silent.

"Like I was saying, I'm surprised Eric hasn't told you. Because I do believe he takes it seriously, I've been with him during his games before and he looks.. well, seriously about it?," he explained trying to pick the right words to use, looking at the boys who watched him with odd looks, "guys, Eric's been in the South Park roller derby team for three years, and you guys haven't even realized it? I believe even Clyde knows it! Today's a really important game for him, and he's been waiting for it for the past three months."

Kyle felt his world shattered.

Theres no fucking way.

This is bullshit, he's calling bluff right there.

"Fuck you, Butters," He spat bitter, poking him in the chest aggressively, causing the boy to startle, "FUCKYOU, if you're still willing to pull up this type of shit with Cartman! Trying to mess with us this early in the fucking morning!," Butters slapped his finger away from him, glaring.

"Look Kyle, if you don't believe me then that's all on you, jewboy," he barked back mimicking Cartman's nickname on him, making Kyle snarled.

"Okay guys, calm down," Stan placed himself in the middle of the two boys.

If there someone who's capable on getting to Kyle's level was an angry Butters.

"Butters, you don't have like any proof you could show Kyle or something?," Stan inquired, still skeptical himself.

Butters huffed, as he scroll through his phone shoving it harshly to Kyle's face, earning a groaned from the boy.

"If that isn't enough, why don't you scroll through the south park derby page, ask the coach himself or wait? Ask fucking ERIC!," he screeched out, face heated in temper.

"Dude, chill your hawaiian is showing," Kenny tried calming him down, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"I don't like being called a lying snake," He huffed once more, shoving Kenny's hand away.

Kyle scrolled frustrated through the photos Butters had showed them, they were all separated in a folder called 'Eric' pretty much all the folder had were photos and videos where Eric was included in, or taken with. Or stupid selfies the fatass will take in Butters phone.

What he was frustrated about was that seemingly enough, Eric and Butters were in some type of rally, fat boy grinning wide as Butters thumbs up while being taken the picture.

Date: October 28th, two years ago

On another, it was just Eric seemingly stretching his leg out in some booth, having roller skates on, a white helmet and some gym looking clothing as he glared to what it seemed like nothing but in the background they were plenty of people meaning he must've been glaring at someone.

Date: November 15th, one year ago

Then there was another where Cartman stood full picture, revealing his entire outfit; like a uniform with the number 9 plastered in the front, some red shorts too small for his ass and roller skates on, some black ankle and elbow patches, a green helmet in hand with a white stripe as he posed like he was about to run, grinning confidently.

Date: December 1st, one year ago

And another one, he felt himself being hit by an avalanche of rocks each second he look through each photograph.

Cartman looking forward, some other players beside him showing off their backs, it seemed the photo was taken from a far not as far, but far enough to tell he was about to race and Butters was probably just watching from the crowd.

Cartman's t-shirt said 'South Park derby' plastered big in the back part, words adorned around the large 9 with a goofy cow logo.

Date: January 4th, actual year

He shoved the phone back to Butters, as he glared to the ground defeated. The plan was too elaborate for it to be fake, and there were more photos in there than just those he analyzed.

He clenched his fist tight, and gritted his teeth, holding his head high as he saw Butters leave.

"Wow, I guess Cartman is in the roller derby team," Stan finally spoke out after brief seconds of silence.

"Yeah, I suppose so," Kenny then added.

The silence was now unbearable, Kyle kept contemplating what he just learned. Glancing at the bracelet he held around his wrist 'tsk.'

Stan and Kenny awkwardly shared a concerned look to their friend.

"Maybe Cartman was just too embarrassed to admit it to us?," Stan suggested, trying to relieve the tension that was now formed.

"Probably thought we'd ripped on him, which we definitely would had," Kenny agreed, both boys eyeing the redhead who just stood there unresponsive with a nonchalant expression.

"'Embarrassed' but not embarrassed enough to tell Butters?," he finally snapped, turning his fuming glare at them, "Don't you guys feel betrayed?."

"No," Stan admitted nonchalantly," it's really not a big deal dude, it's not like we all don't play a sport ourselves?," he kept on blabbering, "I play football, you play basketball and Kenny plays with pussy."

"Yeah," Kenny nodded.

"You guys don't get it, we've been friends with Cartman for YEARS, dealt with his shit for years and still, he can't even tell us about being on the derby team? It's not like we haven't seen him do more embarrassing shit! Why all of the sudden is he running off discreetly to play some stupid sport!?," by this point he was all spiteful and riled up, "that bastard doesn't treat us like friends! He treats us like- like some lab rats he likes to test with.

I'm tired of his fucking shit!."

Both boys stood listening not daring to say a word, just letting him spit all his anger out, they've learned by now that it's always best to let Kyle vent out all his frustrating opinions before they spoke out their own.

They knew well enough that he wasn't in all finished.

After like a minute they glanced at each other more surprised that he hadn't added anything else than discovering about their fat friend's secret.

"Well, what you want us to do Kyle? It's not like we can do much." Stan commented.

"Y'know what?," Kyle said with a thoughtful face as he tapped his feet contemplating some type of plan, "maybe we should teach Cartman a lesson about 'friendship' and where it leads people when you overtake advantage of it."

Both boys stared at the red head worrisome not knowing the type of shit they had gotten in to.

"Like what?," Stan follow along, still uncertain about it.

"We're gonna go to that rally and make him fucking lose that so precious game he's been craving for so long."

Bewildered the boys looked at Kyle, speechless.

'My god'

"Kyle, I don't think that's a good idea," Stan tried to reason with him.

"Dude, Cartman does this type of shit with us all the time! This is no different," he blurted out, placing his hands on his hips, "Besides, we have reasons!."

"We do?," Kenny added confused.

"Yes. We do," He said sternly, "he makes us deal with his crap all the time, and we just let him step on us everytime he wants? Cartman little derby game is our payback from all the shit he's made us go through as children! Technically, we're not doing anything wrong," he tried justifying his actions as he walked in circles.

"Dude, you sound like Cartman," Stan blurted out baffled.

"¡IDONOTSOUNDLIKECARTMAN,GODDAMMIT!," he screeched out loud causing them to wince.

Kyle has never felt more betrayed than what he's feeling right now, he doesn't know why this has got him so badly. But it became personal.

He really thought he was already figuring out Cartman and the douche bag, again, makes him reconsider everything!

It's like he's doing it on purpose, he sighed scribbling in his notebook, thinking of a plan to sabotage Cartman's game tonight.

Garrison kept blabbering about his upcoming wedding for like the 100th time of that week, they all already wished he got married and get that shit over with.

He looked to his side, glancing at Cartman who was making paper planes alongside Kenny, throwing it to their sides all dramatic and random flying across the room, among the students. Innocently batting their eyes as Garrison scold them.

Well, it didn't seemed Kenny was too affected by being lied by his BEST FRIEND, was he really the only one who cared to complained? He looked at Stan that was flipping through his textbook not caring for the world.

Cartman seemingly looked in a good mood which just added to his wrath.

He huffed as he rested his chin on his hand.

°°°°

"Dude, are you sure about this?," Stan asked as he zipped his jacket covering the vegetal oil they had planned on sneaking in, "what if Cartman actually gets injured?."

"Do you really care if he does?," Kyle asked skeptical, glancing at a couple of people who walked in the stadium.

"Good point," he added as he grabbed his phone and dialed Kenny, "Dude, did you bring it?."

"I'm on my way dudes, I couldn't find the cheapest brand I could afford but I found some cheap brand on wish," he said frantically as he was running while talking on the phone.

"Whatever dude, just don't die on us," Stan meaningless said before hanging up, "I can't believe we're actually doing this."

"This is for the best, Stan. Think about all the things Cartman has done to us, think about the time he's ripped on you, call you names, taunting you because you have a girlfriend and show you not even an ounce of respect," the redhead kept reassuring to his friend.

Stan frowned as he contemplated his words, now nodding assertively, "yeah, you're right. Fuck that fatass! He's never treated me with respect no matter how many times I followed through his stupid shit and called him a friend," He blurted out, a he held his fist high on to his chest, more confident.

"Atta, Stan," Kyle beamed patting his friend in the back, now turning to look at a panting Kenny.

"I-Im herE.." he continued panting as he took out some marbles out of his jacket to show them.

"Okay, cover those, we don't want to get caught," Kyle shove the marbles back inside his jacket.

They went inside, buying a ticket and glancing at the huge crowd. They didn't know roller derby was that a huge deal for people, the place was packed.

They spotted Butters in one the seats there, headed twoards the boy as they sat next to him.

Butters turned their way, "Oh, geez, you guys actually made it? Does that mean Eric already told you about the derby?," he asked casually, as he sipped from his soda.

Kyle smiled forcefully as he nodded, "yup," he lied.

"Cool," Butters beamed as he waved at some random player there, knowingly who that was.

"So when does the game start?," Kenny asked from the forth seat at the end of Stan.

"You mean the jam?," Butters corrected unfazed, chugging on some chicken nuggets, "the first pass still hasn't initiated. They're still waiting for the seats to be full, and it normally just starts at eight it's still six thirty."

They look at each other not knowing well about how that sport worked, they didn't looked deep in to it.

"Okay, so when does second round start?," Stan added, earning a scoffed from the blonde.

"Didn't Eric bother to explain you guys?," He rolled his eyes, sipping loudly on to his soda purposefully making the other three boys annoyed.

"In derby they're not precisely called 'rounds', they're jams that consistent on a timer of 2 minutes, that, or the lead jammer decides to cut it short," He continued to explained to them, as he beamed waving another player in the rank, "we could say the end of the first period will be thirty minutes in during jams, cause they're two periods. A game last sixty minutes you guys."

They blinked in confusion.

"And.. what exactly are jams again?," Stan winced out apologetically, as Butters groaned annoyed and roll his eyes in response.

"What's hard to understand?," Butters exclaimed in disbelief, "first pass; choosing the lead jammer, no points counted. Second pass; the pointer starts and the first jam is started."

"Dude, what's a jammer?," Stan asked still confused.

"And how the hell do we count a point?," Kenny added.

Butters frowned, "you guys didn't talk to Eric did you," he guessed out making the three boys look at him with blank stares.

"Look, Butters, where here. That's all that matters," Kyle chimed in, as he extended his arm around his shoulder making him arched a brow.

"My god. What're you guys planning to do." He immediately pointed out, realizing their motivates.

One of the perks of being around Cartman for so long is to recognize a liar, manipulative, two face bitch a mile away trying to take advantage of his naive behavior. This knowledge is something Butters holds dear on to, as it's gotten him out of many messed up schemes from his peers before, even from Eric himself. Giving him a boost of confidence while contradicting someone is he didn't agree on what they're doing, saying or opinion. He felt a little more freeing knowing he can atleast not take shit from his friends when he didn't feel like doing so unlike with his parents.

"Well good luck with that," Butters hummed out as he heard their improvised plan, "if you guys want to actually sabotage Eric's skates you're gonna need to do it now before the jam starts. Their break is thirty seconds long before a next jam starts and their longest break is a minute long on mid period, so you should guess, Eric has no plans on taking his skates off," he said nonchalant, now gesturing a snack seller to come towards him, purchasing a bag of gummy bears.

He held in front of Kyle, "these are gonna be for Eric cause he's gonna win no matter what," he said in a confident manner, intending to provoke the red head.

Kyle frowned, "just you wait!," He screamed as he stormed off to the benches, Stan following behind.

'Fucking asshole, who does he think he is?'

He kept on walking ignoring his best friend's complaints, as he halted abruptly, the whole damn reason he was here was because of Cartman, and he didn't even bother to even check if he was there at all. But now, holy damn. Now he couldn't just ignore him. He stood far apart near the circuit track chatting with all his teammates next to the penalty box.

'Wow' his eyes widen, bewildered. He's seen Cartman's in his derby uniform in Butters pictures, but the real deal was entirely different.

It felt like his surroundings just stopped moving as Cartman was the only person there that moved in a very slow dramatic way. Everything becoming blank an fuzzy as the only color there that blossom was Cartman.

And no matter how far Cartman was from him, he felt like he was the closest thing there that his eyes couldn't unfocused on.

'Kyle?'

'Kyle, dude!'

"Huh?," he asked now seemingly confused, turning to look at Stan.

"The oil?," He reminded him.

"Right," He blurted out continuing to move, side eyeing Cartman; as he turned his back flipping off some players from the opposite team.

'Oh god'

He stopped again dumbfounded, contemplating how well those shorts complemented his hips and-

'Kyle!'

"Ah?," He asked startled by the abrupt tone, "right!," He reminded himself, as he shook his head running twoards the benches were the players kept their belongings.

They searched through the bags looking for Cartman's, but they couldn't find it.

"Kyle, look!," Stan pointed out, were the coach sat in a empty bench with a bag seemingly not his.

'That's Cartman's,' he felt it.

"I'll distract him, and you sabotage his skates," Stan ordered, shoving him the oil as he approached the coach.

He nodded, as he slowly pulled the bag away as Stan had forced the coach to help by leading him to the bathroom as he had faked puked.

He opened the bag and looked through Cartman's things, he gripped on to the skates beaming relieved that he hadn't put them on yet. He took the oil from his pocket and opened the lid accidentally dropping it inside the bag. He reached out for it and gripped on to a folded piece of paper.

He examined it closely and seemingly enough, it was definitely a very old careless torn off polaroid folded by the middle. He flipped it open, and found four boys popped up posing silly as one flipped off the camera, another beaming mischievous, the other peace signing smiling, and lastly another making a goofy face.

Those four boys were them.

He felt himself contemplating between the bottle of oil or the polaroid photo, feeling himself softened, unsure of what to do.

He gulped, "C'mon, dude, Cartman's coming," Stan said worrisome, as he grasped his arm dragging him away to their seats.

"So? Did you manage to oil them in time?," Stan asked expectantly, sitting down.

He nodded reluctantly knowing damn well he didn't.

The jam was about to start, as the players got in position. For what Butters had told them, Cartman was the pivot, so he placed himself in the pivot line alongside the opposite team's pivot which is infront of the blockers and lastly behind them, the jammers.

A pivot being the one that normally leads the blockers signaling the strategies that will be put to use, also being the only teammate there that could turn into a jammer during a jam.

Apparently the first pass is where they choose for the the lead jammer.

Then second pass is when the score begins to count.

Or something like that for what he understood.

Kyle bit his nails nervously, watching Cartman smirking mockingly the other pivot. The red shorts and white shirt with the added helmet suit him so well it even looked grossly cute.

He rubbed his face with his hands, he wasn't thinking straight, literally.

He rubbed his legs as he heard a whistle blow initiating the first pass.

He digged his nails on his legs, seeing Cartman skate on the rank was extremely..

"Don't worry, dude, we'll get him next time," Stan reassured him, placing a hand on his shoulder in a comfort gesture. Probably thinking he looked upset that the 'plan' failed.

'Oh God,' he plead merciful, looking Cartman rolling around the track as he 'booty block' a blocker.

He unintentionally bounced his leg frantically, as he keep watching Cartman making sure the jammer pass through with ease.

"We still have the marbles," Kenny reminded, as he was kinda entertained by the game, stealing Cartman's gummy bears from Butters.

But he was already too far off to listen, seeing how a blocker shoulder bumped Cartman's side as he hip trusted his side in response moving him sideways letting his jammer pass through.

Two whistles were heard as the referee gesture south park's jammer as the lead jammer, the crowd cheered as most there were obviously from the town.

Cartman stretched his back, clapping hands with the jammer in a smugly manner.

He quickly stretched down his hands to his toes as he quickly went back to position.

Kyle mentally saving that small moment savoring every second, his leg bounce some more, unknowingly receiving a concerned stare from Stan.

He felt himself heated, as his legs moved frantically, faster, zoning out by the fuzzy and blurry feeling he felt, breathing heavily as he watched Cartman now on his second pass.

He panted, as he tried grasping for air, Stan turned his way giving him a weird look alongside Butters who heard him squeeze.

'Oh god' he thought as he abruptly stood up, dashing to the bathroom, he excused himself as he pushed some people out of the way.

'Hormones, hormones, hormones, stupid hormones!' He screeched angrily smaking his head consistently, earing weird stares from the people around.

He entered the bathroom turning on the sink and splashing water on his face, cooling himself down. Not daring to look down.

He looked at his flustered face, in horror realization, 'there was no fucking way' he eyed his dilated pupils as he gently caressed the side of his eye.

'No. Way.'

Stan dashed after him, entering the bathroom and kneeling beside him as he found his friend curled up in a ball at the floor corner.

"Kyle, what's wrong?," he asked worried.

Kyle hold on to him as he bawled his eyes out, sobbing uncontrollably by the overwhelming emotions.

Stan was left bewildered as Kyle vomit on him still holding him by the arm.

"Dude, chill the fuck out. Tell me what's going on," Stan said sternly holding on to his shoulders making him look at him in the eye.

Kyle swallowed loudly, denying with his head as he stood up tirelessly, "let's just go.."

Stan reluctantly stood up not furthering questioning his friend as he followed behind him brushing off the vomit out off his jacket.

Stan halted looking at his best friend continued walking off, he went to Cartman's bag as he got out a piece of paper writing down 'we need to talk, meet up at yours after your derby race, fatboy -s,' now no longer caring being caught in the rally or snooping in his stuff.

°°°°

Cartman quickly rolled down town, not caring about ruining his derby skates as he was afraid of possible blackmail by the hippie of all people!

He couldn't even celebrate his victory with the guys by getting pizza, cause he had jolted off like a mad man not being able to enjoy his awsome evening.

He gripped tightly his bag as he got to his side of the sidewalk eyeing Stan sitting in his doorstep.

"What the hell do you want," he pointedly accused, almost slipping down by a small peddle.

Stan stood up looking at the floor with both his hands in his pockets.

"I think Kyle's really affected about you not telling us about being in the South Park derby team," he bluntly admitted, causing Cartman to tilt his head confused.

"Huh?," he said.

"Look, fatass, just.. I think you should talk to him." He frowned, glaring at the floor before glaring at him, "Dude, I'm serious, if you try saying some stupid shit to him I promise you I'll tell everyone about the Jody incident," he threatened.

Cartman flinched, "who told you," he shuddered out.

Stan rolled his eyes, "you weren't really being discreet Cartman it was a public park dude, anyone could've seen you ." He shaked his head dismissively, "look, I don't care if you're gay and shit, I just need you to tell Kyle you didn't mean to hide the derby thing from us."

Cartman spat offended, "he kissed me, dude! Not the way around, I was startled okay!?."

"Yeah, whatever dude. Just talk with Kyle," Stan shrugged off indifferent before walking off.

Cartman grumbled, he couldn't believe Stan had saw the incident with Jody. He really wasn't expecting it! That dude just sent him a letter in his locker and he figured it'd be some chick confessing her overbearing love for him not the ginger kid he manipulated back in forth grade.

He sighed as he tossed his bag at the door before taking off his skates angrily and bitter, tossing them to the ground as he walked barefoot to Kyle's front door.

He knocked unwillingly, as he placed his arms behind his back hearing steps head down stairs.

"¿Yeah-" Kyle's mouth flattened, gripping on to the door frame, "what you want, fatass?."

"You're hippie boyfriend complained to me you were upset over the rally thing, I didn't know you'd figured it out," he shamelessly rat on Stan.

Kyle frowned, "I don't care," he spat out dryly.

Cartman stared at him for brief seconds; he wore a white t-shirt and some black square patterns bottom pj's. His gaze fell on the now naked wrist, Cartman figure Kyle would eventually take the bracelet he gave him but now looking at his wrist, it made him feel a little disappointed.

Kyle awkwardly hid his hand when he noticed.

Standing awkwardly for seconds that felt like minutes.

Things between them have just been so awkward nowadays, and Cartman hated to admit why.

"Okay, cool.." he blurted out looking at the ground then turning around and walking back home.

"Wait," Kyle spat out, now holding on to his arm stopping him.

Cartman cursed inside him for feeling his heart skip a beat.

"What do you want?," he shoved his hand off.

"I think we should just.. talk about it," he admittedly struggled out, wincing his eyes, "someone has to put an end to it."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Cartman glared defensively, acting like he didn't know.

"Cut the shit, Cartman. You know, I know," he stated firmly, gripping on to Cartman's shoulders making him look at him, "we should just get it out of our chest and move on."

"I don't know what you're talking? I've moved on, Kahal, but it doesn't seem like you have," Cartman continued lying between teeth, "you're making it weird, our dynamic it's just..flopping? And it's your fault! You broke our rule, kyel," he continued pin blaming Kyle.

Kyle glared at him, "Cartman, were not gonna leave from this spot until we finally discuss it. It's driving me crazy."

"Watch me," he dared trying to leave, but was gripped hard on to his arm earning a '¡owe, Kyel that's hurts!,' "okay, fuck! We'll talk just let me go you asshole!," He whined out in a cry, scowling him as he now let him go, rubbing frantically the injured area.

Things weren't going to turn back to normal. They knew that, it was hard to grasp it. And they've tried so hard to shove it off.

He and Cartman hated change, that was something they both openly agreed on.

Their dynamic has always been like that; they've have some bizarre moment between each other and they shoved it off behind the back of their brains trying to not acknowledge it, trying to not take it seriously. Just getting back to their usual banter ignoring whatever happened between them that shook them off from their usual dynamic. Like a intruder invading a home that was built by scratch and decorated with time and being carefully planned; moving all their stuff and placing them elsewhere, stealing them, breaking them pretty much destroying the property they built for years.

They feared for it to happen again, making new barriers and creating knew strategies to prevent the intruder to make his way back in. Putting up locks and blocking the windows.

Not acknowledging how'd it'd affect them physically and mentally.

Making their little spacious home fell more like a trap, tight, suffocating, imprisoned. Being scared to get out but also craving to get out and breath some air, some freedom.

Screeching for help, as they longer couldn't stand those walls, trying to grasp on the little space they had while it slowly killed them.

They figure it wouldn't be any different now, but they were wrong. They just couldn't, they had went to far pretty much breaking a entire wall out, being in for so long inside the opening freely feeling just being too overwhelming for them to welcomed, handle.

No longer having the energy to just block it, as they were just tired, and the damage was too much to build around it with out destroying it more in the process.

Which they have been doing unintentionally, being so.. out of character, feeling more vulnerable around each other, one being uncontrollably unable to handle his anger and paranoia and the other uncontrollably unable to control his stress and obsessions. The bars were just unbalanced and their personalities were going elsewhere, being mix up with so many feelings they can't just grasp in to it all, having to forcefully grab one an drain it dry inevitable taking all their energy out as they couldn't keep up with the ongoing changing feeling. It felt wrong not being able to control their emotions, it was frustrating not being able to grip on to one, knowing your place and how to act.

It felt so unnatural, and somewhat obsessive being so dependent on each other even when it came to their feelings, characterization and personalities.

Kyle sighed defeated, sitting in the sidewalk, Cartman hesitated before sitting besides him.

Cartman rested his chin in his hand, Kyle half lidded eyes darted to the empty street.

It was time to open up to change.

"So.." Kyle trail off, trying to lighten up the tension between them.

"Kyle, it's clear you don't want to talk about it," Cartman said with a bored face.

"No- I mean I do! It's just.. I don't know were to start," he admitted, looking at the beaming light from the poll from the other sidewalk.

"You mean being some psycho gaywads or about the change of our dynamic?," he guessed, now relaxing his body, shivering lightly as he was already feeling the cold sweep in.

Kyle pouted thoughtful, "honesty? Both," he said, taking out from his sock the bracelet Cartman gave him.

"Seriously? Fucking gross dude," Cartman winced dramatically sticking out his tongue in disgust.

Kyle chuckled unfazed by the comment, "I- I was really angry today cause you didn't tell me about being a south park derby, and somewhat thought I'd be vengeful by throwing my bracelet away, but I just couldn't. I want to have it on me, so I justified myself putting it under my feet for I to continuously stepping on it yet still have it, you get me?."

"Wow, how evil of you," Cartman remarked sarcastic before rolling his eyes feeling a smile crept out his face, "does that mean you've still had it on before today..?" He eyed him expectantly.

"Yeah, dude, I like it. The colors just match well," Kyle nodded admittedly, gently caressing the fabric.

Cartman felt his cheeks heated, flustered embarrassed and slightly flattered, "thanks.." he sighed heavily, "I- I was kinda disappointed you didn't have it on just now," He laughed nervously before playing it off, as he grabbed the bracelet from Kyle's hand and tied it up back on to his wrist.

Kyle let himself smile back by the gesture, letting those feelings invade his now tight fluttered chest.

This felt nice.

"Well now that were being honest here, I was mesmerized by your ass at the derby rally this evening," He shamelessly admitted.

"Woah there, kahal, a little bit too much don't yah think?," he added, a little baffled by Kyle's boldness.

Kyle chuckled, he really enjoyed Cartman's red flustered face. He enjoyed being able to do that.

He leaned forward, "I really liked that kiss," he admitted in a whisper, slyly smirking as he saw Cartman face burning hard red flames, he could swear he even heard a small 'yelp' coming out from his mouth.

Guess the fatass can't find his way to snap back at him, which is a accomplishment on it's own cause Cartman wasn't the one that'll keep his mouth shut always wanting to have the last word into everything even if he had to blabber nonsense to get that.

He squiggle his mouth, moving his eyes fanatically left and right, left, right, left and right again. Kyle cautiously counted each movement, waiting expectantly.

"Me too, jew.." he blurted out after brief swallowing seconds.

"Cool," Kyle nodded, as if he had already knew that.

"About the derby thing, I honestly didn't bothered mentioning it to you guys cause I know the type of assholes you are, not much about.. well it wasn't a you thing," he admitted as he glance the other sidewalk.

Kyle nodded understanding, anger long gone by that point.

"So now what?," Cartman reluctantly asked after another brief seconds of silence.

Kyle shrugged.

They sat for over an hour before being called out by Gerald, who'd ask Kyle to get inside as it was already getting too late. Still not exactly finishing everything they wanted to say but it was enough to bare for the night, Cartman waved goodbye as he left to his home and Kyle stood in his doorstep looking out for Cartman until he saw him get inside his house before reluctantly getting inside himself, contemplating how things unfolded between the two and how good Cartman's gigantic ass looked when he walked off.

Prev — Next

[serotoninlinus]

everyone please Consider🩸

[alvojake]

idol jungwon wherein he's recording a song with explicit meaning, and her non-showbiz gf decided to spice the song up by including actual sounds of sex

「notes」 : I may or may not have gone a little crazy with this, hehe... but pervy, rough jungwon will forever be my favorite agenda 🙈

Countermelody | Y.JW

「paring」 : idol!bf!jungwon x non-idol!fem!reader 「word count」 : 2.4k

「synopsis」 : your boyfriend has been holed up in the studio for almost two weeks trying to meet his deadline, but no matter what he did he just couldn't find the missing piece. however, when you finally convince him to let you listen to it you realize that not only was it a song about the two of you but also a very sensual and sexy song. partially joking you suggested that you could add the sounds of sex to make it more realistic, but boy did your boyfriend take an instant liking to that idea.

「genre」 : smut

「warning」 : make-out sessions, unprotected sex (NO!), cursing, petnames (baby, bunny...), teasing, clit play, marking/biting, won is a bit pervy, dom!jungwon x sub!reader, public(ish) sex, rough sex, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, squirting, slight bulge kink, praise, slight manhandling, lmk if I missed anything!!

You had planned to bring your sweet, hard-working boyfriend some homemade lunch seeing as he’s been holed up in that production room for days. The lack of sleep is very evident in his features. Jungwon had been busting his ass trying to meet the deadline for his new single, but no matter what he did he felt like something was missing. A key factor that would tie the whole thing together but for the life of him he couldn’t figure out what it was. You were willing to help, but he refused to let you listen to the song, saying it was a ‘surprise’ and that he wanted to wait until it was finished for you to hear it. But you were going to make him let you help because you couldn’t bear to see him in this state for much longer. Not just for his sake but for your own as well. You see, during this whole time Jungwon was so absorbed in trying to produce this song that he had completely forgotten about you. 

Sure you would see him for that short amount of time that he was in your shared apartment and he did nothing but love you. You love it, god you loved it, but you wanted more than just his innocent kisses and touches. You needed, no craved him so badly and you weren’t sure how much more you could take before you finally burst.

So here you stood behind your boyfriend, your thumbs pressing firmly down on his shoulders trying to undo the knots that had formed due to him working so much. Jungwon just leaned into your touch savoring the feeling of your warm skin against his. He had missed you so much that it was starting to physically hurt, but he needed to get this song finished. The deadline was fast approaching and he was starting to grow more and more anxious the closer it got, worried that he would fail. His eyes stared at the desktop screen in front of him, racking his brain for what that missing piece could be. So lost in his head that he completely missed his name falling from your lips.

“Jungwon.” You spoke a bit louder, snapping him right out of whatever trance he was stuck in. He tilted his head back looking up at you sheepishly, a small awkward smile tugging on his lips as he apologized. “Why don’t you let me help you?” You pouted softly and he just closed his eyes with a sigh.

He really did want it to be a surprise because he made this song with you in mind, but he knew that you would continue to bother him until he let you help. He knew you meant well, but he just hated the idea of it being ruined. 

“It’s supposed to be a surprise baby,” He whined before sitting up in the roller chair, pulling himself out of your grip.

“Won, I’m almost one hundred percent sure I’ll love it finished or not,” You reassured him and you walked around the chair, “and,” You easily climbed into his lap, straddling his legs and his hands instantly went to your hips, “maybe I can help find what it is that missing, ya?”

Jungwon looked at you with such a soft gaze that you were sure that you would turn into putty in his lap. However, the smirk that tugged on his lips as his eyes became dark made heat pool in your gut. He nodded his head with a quick ‘okay’ and before you could even question it he wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling your body flush against his and rolling forward so he could reach for the mouse. You looked over your shoulder, watching as he went to the audio file before unplugging the headphones he had been wearing. When he hit play a smooth sensual tune pooled out of the speakers and as soon as his voice came through you could feel your body grow warmer.

The words and beat seemed innocent on the outside, but as you really listened to his words you knew what the true meaning was. The song is about begging a woman who was referred to as ‘Bunny’ to let him love her right. How he would treat her right and fuck her in all the right ways. That she should just forget about her lousy ex and choose him. That’s when it dawned on you that he was talking about you. Everything fits you, the nickname that only Jungwon ever gave you. The lyrics match all of the details about your relationship to a tee. 

Finally taking your eyes off of the screen you looked over meeting your boyfriend’s hooded eyes. You bit your lip as you wrapped your arms around his neck, playing with the hairs on the nape of his neck. The man in front of you wasn’t the sweet, innocent man that everyone believed him to be, no the man in front of you was a downright dirty pervert. He would take any chance he could get to have you whenever, wherever, no matter the situation. The need to have his dick buried so deep inside of your warm cunt overshadowed any other thoughts.

Which is why this song didn’t surprise you a single bit. It was no wonder that he wanted it to be a surprise, he’d probably show it to you while he was dicking you down in the bedroom.

That’s when a lightbulb went off in your brain, finding the perfect solution for what it was that was missing. You leaned more against Jungwon’s body, the space between you now nonexistent. Jungwon’s grip on your waist loosened until his hands trailed down to grip your ass through the very short shorts you were wearing.

“Whatcha think?” His voice was low but you still heard him loud and clear over the music that was blaring through the speakers. His hands knead the flesh of your ass almost like a cat. Whether it was the feeling of his skin on yours or the fact that you haven’t had sex in a while but you were already dripping in your panties. You hummed before leaning close enough to ghost your lips over his.

“I love it. It’s so… us.” You teased him and Jungwon just smirked, “But I think I know what it’s missing.”

He hummed against your lips, “And what’s that bunny?” 

You rolled your hips against his easily feeling the growing bulge in his pants, “what don’t we add the real deal, make it more realistic…” 

It didn’t take a genius to figure out what you meant, but boy did it turn Jungwon on to unimaginable levels. In seconds his lips were on yours, kissing you with such fever it almost took the air right out of your lungs. You ran your fingers through his hair, tugging softly eliciting a groan from his throat.

“Fuck baby you’re so hot.” He groaned against your lips before pulling away, chuckling when you chased after his lips. You didn’t spare a second before latching your lips to his neck, sucking and biting on the skin. Jungwon was sure that you’d leave marks, he didn’t mind though it was always a pain in the ass to explain to the make-up artist. “Are you sure about this bunny?” He didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, nor did he want to force you if you had just been joking. But as you ground your hips against him with an impatient whimper he knew you were too far gone to really say no. So he clicked a few buttons on the screen, his lips between his teeth trying to focus while your lips worked on marking his pretty skin.

As soon as he had the recorder going he grabbed the back of your thighs, hoisting you up until he was on his feet. A gasp fell from your lips and your grip tightened on his neck. He was quick to muffle it with his own lips, kissing you like it was his last day on earth. 

“Wonnie…” You whined out as his lips trailed from your lip to your jaw before finding purchase on your neck. He left open-mouth kisses along your skin before sucking a dark purple mark right along your jugular. 

He sat you down on the desk right next to the microphone, wanting to catch all of the little noises you made. He pulled away from you just long enough to tear his shirt off of his body before practically ripping yours off. 

“I need that Won-” Jungwon quickly silenced you with another heated kiss promising you his hoodie after, which you were going to keep him accountable to. His hands then wandered from your hips to the band of your shorts.

Jungwon’s mind kept wandering back to the fact that he was recording this and it made him so fucking hard thinking about how every time he was going to listen to this song he’d only hear the pretty sounds of your moans in the background. 

He slipped his hand past your waistband and underwear wasting no time in cupping your heat, your slick already pooling in his palm. You were so fucking wet that he was sure that he could slide right in with little resistance.

“Fuck you’re so wet baby, you’re literally dripping on my hand.” You mewled at his dirty words, your brain turning to mush as he finds your clit easily. Your head falls back with a loud moan, not caring if bypassers can hear.

Jungwon watched in amusement as you so quickly were coming undone thanks to just his simple touches. A smirk crept onto his lips when you whined out as he removed his hand from your pussy. However, he grabbed your hips pulling you closer to the edge of the desk before telling you to lay back. If you weren’t so desperate to feel him so deep in you that you see stars then you would be embarrassed with how quick you heeded his words. Goosebumps littered your skin as it made contact with the cool surface. Jungwon made quick work of your shorts and panties, throwing them off to the side somewhere.

His cock twitched in his pants when he caught sight of your drenched hole, mouth watering as the lights gleamed off of your slick. But he wouldn’t last another minute without being inside you.

He pulled the strings of his sweats loose before shoving them down his leg along with his boxers, his cock springing free, the tip red and angry just waiting to be buried in your pussy. You whined out his name when he took the tip and started to tease your clit, “Such a filthy girl, letting me record your pretty whimpers.” He chuckled as he watched your brows furrow as you impatiently waited for him to fuck you. “Imagine how amazing you'd sound when I'm fucking you senseless.” You didn’t get a chance to utter a word before he pushed into you, bottoming out in one go.

You cried out at the sudden intrusion, nails digging into the skin of Jungwon’s forearm. Stars started to cloud your vision when he started to trust into you.

“Fuck I missed this pussy so much bunny.” He groaned against your ear as he bent down, pressing his body against yours. It’s far too long since he was able to last fuck you senseless and god he wasn’t going to do it again.

“Wonnie, it feels- fuck, it feels so good.” You moaned right next to his ear causing him to chuckle, but the sound quickly got caught in his throat when you clenched around him.

“You're so tight 'nd warm around me. Could die being in this pussy.” He groans as his pace turns animalistic, the sweet moans and whimpers leaving your lips only prompting him to go harder. 

“Won- fuck Wonnie, ‘m close,” You choked when the tip of his cock hit your sweet spot before kissing your cervix, the combo nearly making you black out, silent moans falling from your swollen lips.

“Look how pretty you are, taking all of me.” Jungwon cooed as he moved one of his hands to press down on your lower stomach feeling himself move in and out of you. Your back arched against him at the sensation, the knot in your stomach tightening to unimaginable levels. He knew you were close with how hard you were squeezing him, so he moved his hand away from your stomach. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as his thumb circled sharp circles on your little bundle of nerves.

“Jungwon!” You quite literally screamed as you felt your climax wash over you causing your body to jerk violently, but your boyfriend didn’t slow his movements. No, in fact, he sped up even more chasing his own him, throwing your body into overstimulation.

Tears pricked at the corner of your eyes as your first orgasm slowed allowing you to feel the sensitivity of your boyfriend's dick hitting all the right places. The only thing leaving your lips were babbles and Jungwon’s name as he continued to pound into you. God it was the hottest thing he had ever seen and he was sure he’d bust right then and there.

Jungwon could tell that another orgasm was on the tip of your tongue with how your body convulsed under him and how your pussy clenched around him so hard. His thumb found your clit once more causing a loud cry to fall from your lips as you tried to get away from your boyfriend’s hands, but his grip was far too strong.

You couldn’t even give him a warning when you squirted all over his cock, your release coating both of your thighs. Jungwon groaned at the sight as he tipped over the edge spilling deep into your warm cunt. His movements slowed allowing the both of you to ride out your highs until he came to a complete stop.

He placed soft, gentle kisses along your collarbone and chest as you regained your breathing and mind. “You fucking squirted bunny.” Jungwon groaned but you were quick to cover your face in embarrassment, “Don’t be embarrassed baby, it was so fucking hot.” He pulled your hands away from your pace before kissing you deeply, you moaned against his lips as you felt his dick twitch inside of you, “God I need you to do it again.” He bit your bottom lip as he felt his cock grow hard once more. It was safe to say that he had plenty of audio to work with after you were done.

@alvojake | Do not steal, plagiarise, translate, or repost any of my work

𝖉𝖎𝖘𝖈𝖑𝖆𝖎𝖒𝖊𝖗 : ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ɴᴏ ᴡᴀʏ ᴀ ᴛʀᴜᴇ ʀᴇᴘʀᴇꜱᴇɴᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏꜰ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀꜱ. ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴘᴜʀᴇʟʏ ꜰɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴛᴀᴋᴇɴ ꜱᴇʀɪᴏᴜꜱʟʏ.

𝖙𝖆𝖌𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙: @heesitation @riftanswhore @luvyong2z

[themissinghand]

Mind if I could have a SAGAU request? So the player is burnt out from the game. Like completely. Some characters find a way to your desktop and ask "Why haven't you entered Teyvat lately?" After explaining that you still like/love them, they are disappointed but understandable. Problem is, they can't go back until you launch the game. So the characters sort of become desktop buddies (Showing my age aren't I?) and perhaps helping you out in the various other games the player would play or just vibing as you surf the web, make arr, write stories, etc. As for the characters... Aether and Paimon at least, though adding Kazuha, Yanfei, Freminet, Bennett, Fischl, Childe, and Collei would be cute too.

Genshin Impact Desktop Buddies

Summary: In which your favourite Genshin characters miss you. 

Or now you have them as your desktop buddies until Genshin Impact is fixed.

Pairings: Aether & Paimon, Kazuha, Yanfei, Childe and Fischl x Neutral! Reader! 

Note: Desktop buddies are ancient now lol, but honestly such a cool thing to have back then. Hope you enjoy! 

Warning: None, just fluffy goodness. 

★・・・・・・★

You’re tired. Like really tired. 

Grinding for artifacts, ascension and weapon materials has worn you out. That includes your wallet too.

They were worth it, no doubt about that, but staring at a screen all day every day could tire anyone out. 

And yea, you need sleep. 

For the first time in a long time, you decided to shut down the game, and take at least a few day break. 

It’s not like it would make a big difference right? 

Little did you know, it most definitely would. 

Just a few days later, not only did your laptop started acting weird to the point where you thought of buying a new one, Genshin also disappeared from your desktop. 

Before you knew it, you see little figures that look oddly familiar on your screen…

“Why haven’t you entered Teyvat lately?”

Aether & Paimon

The player spun around, eyes widening at the sight of Aether and Paimon now out of the game, and...hopping around on your screen.

"Aether? Paimon? How... how are you here?".

Aether stepped forward. 

"Our Creator, we've missed you. The others are worried. Why haven't you been to Teyvat?"

You sighed, has it already been a couple of days? Also, since when were you their creator? 

"I'm just a little tired-” There was a dramatic gasp from Paimon.

“Tired of us? Aether! Our Creator is tired of us!” 

“No! I mean, I still love Teyvat and all of you, but I needed a break and I will go back soon." You quickly responded with reassurance, which luckily appeased the floating companion. 

Paimon floated closer, which was like a weird zoom on her face, her eyes softening with understanding. 

"We get it, but... we can't go back to Teyvat until you' launch' the game." She says robotically, but appeared confused right after.

“Ah, okay. Give me a minute.” 

When you tried to download the game via the Genshin website, it stated that there was a website maintenance. 

“Creator! What is happening? The world is changing!” While you were frustrated, Aether and Paimon were jumping and flying everywhere around your screen, exploring how tabs open and following your mouse as you click and hover.

Their curiosity made you smile, and you slowly explain how everything works slowly as with each passing second, they marvel at how advanced your world is. 

“No wonder you’re our Creator!” 

“What’s this!?” Before you knew it, you pulled up multiple websites, and the one you landed on was Disney+.

“Do you want to watch a movie?” 

“What’s that?” Aether asked, curious, followed by Paimon’s cute little head tilt.

(You wished you could just squeeze those cute little cheeks-)

“It’s like telling a story, but you get to see it unfold right before you. Here.” You pull up ‘My Little Mermaid’ and they jump seeing the video move, with everyone inside move. 

“Woah…it’s like another world!” 

Aether seemed to marvel over it, and for a moment, he wondered, maybe, you could traverse worlds too. 

Seeing the stars in their eyes made you feel guilty, as if another misunderstanding arose, but you let them be, as their cute little figures sat down and watched the movie. 

You too, watched it with them, and for the first time in a while, you didn’t feel lonely. 

Throughout the movie, you patted them on the head with your mouse, which the two seemed to like very much. 

(And yes, you did pinch those cute little cheeks)

Kazuha 

“I’m glad that you didn’t abandon us, Your Highness.” 

Never in your wildest dreams did you expect to see THE Canadian Aether, Kazuha, on your screen, bowing respectfully to you.

“Let me know if I can help you in any way. Although my form is…not in the most helpful form, I will do my best.” 

You held back a giggle when you saw a shy little Kazuha looking at himself and then at you shyly, and you really wanted to tease him, but you chose not to. 

Instead, you pull up your incomplete art project. 

Might as well since you can’t download Genshin now and might have to wait for a few days.

“Actually Kazuha, I was hoping you could help me finish my art.” He immediately perked up, a serious expression overtook his shy one.

“Of course, Your Highness, let me know what you want to draw and I can help you!”

“Great! I’m trying to draw a handsome and cute man, he has platinum blond hair…” Slowly, you list one by one, the characteristics of the person you want to draw. 

Kazuha learns fast. Soon, he was able to figure out how your art platform worked. 

At first, he hesitated, and didn’t want to interrupt your drawing, but slowly, he learned to add in his thoughts and feedback, and guided your mouse to smooth out the lines, and perfect the colouring.

“He has red eyes…” 

Calming and soothing, his voice made you feel at peace, just like how you would hang out with him at the top of a mountain somewhere and listening to the game music. 

But this time, he was a little closer, where he felt more real albeit still in your screen. 

“Your Highness…isn’t this…me?” His little cheeks was dusted with pink as he quickly covered it with his hands. 

“It is you.” 

“But why…”

“Because you’re one of my favourites, Kazuha.” 

It was all it took for him to become shy again, and he began to cough awkwardly as if to mask his embarrassment. 

“Thank you…Your Highness.”

Yanfei

“Phew! We were so scared that you left us Your Eminence! But…I suppose we can’t do anything until you open up Teyvat again, until then, let me know if I can help you!” 

Yanfei's cheerful voice made you smile as you leaned against your palm. 

Then she turned around, as if taking in her surroundings before looking back at you. 

“Your Eminence, if I may, may I help you organize your…space?”  You blink, and that was when you notice the amount of files littered across the desktop screen, and you realized that from Yanfei’s view, it must’ve been very unorganized.

“Sure.” 

Yanfei brightens at your acceptance, and hopped a little to show her excitement. 

“Okay! I’m good at this, so leave it to me! Just follow my lead.” 

You were gonna clean up your PC eventually, though you did not expect it would be today. 

Either way, Yanfei was like a referee and a police, asking questions but also making sure everything was organized correctly. 

In a way, Yanfei felt like a Mom asking her child to clean her room.

Even so, it was so cute to see her marching everywhere like a soldier and asking you to organize it in a neat manner.

“Okay, next, let’s organize this folder!” 

“Okay-” Before you knew it, you immediately hit backspace. 

“Your Eminence…who was that-”

“Let’s move on.” But Yanfei stared at that folder with an intense stare. Did she see it? 

With a little nudge and push with your mouse, Yanfei eventually moved on, but she constantly had a smile on her lips. 

It was you cosplaying as her for an event. 

Yanfei would be sure to tell her friends back home. 

Childe

“Well, I’m happy to hear that, Your Highness! But…what were you doing? Away from Teyvat?”

Childe’s smile was a little bit menacing to look at, so you pull up what you were doing before to distract him.

And it did, surprisingly. 

“What is this?”

“It’s a game called Valorant.” 

You start the game, and once you get prepared, he too was locked in. 

With each attack and maneuver, Childe slowly became hyped up by your skill and admired it. 

“Your Highness! Why didn’t you tell me before?!” He became to gush, albeit trying to remain civil as he looked between you and your character in game. 

“Again.” In the end, he asked (begged) for another show. 

This time, you changed your agent to someone else, and once again, showed how skilled you are even in melee, which Childe initially advised against. 

But you blew his expectations away. 

“Your Highness, can I duel you?” 

You blink, before you laugh jokingly, but you knew in real life, Childe would absolutely crush you.

But you leave him be, and instead start another game. 

Honestly, Childe would be a great hype man. 

Fischl

“Ah, of course! How the stars seem to be against us this time…regardless! With me, Fischl von Luftschloss Narfidort here, there is nothing you need to worry about!” 

As expected, Fischl is quite the actor and storyteller as she spews on about how she faced something similar before, something just as interstellar as this. 

You don’t mind it, after all, if you did, you wouldn’t have Fischl on your team the entire time would you? 

Fischl deserves more love is what you find in the fandom, and while she may be annoying at times, you found her passion admirable, and even a little sad when you think this is her way of happiness. 

So you respected that, and listened as she rambled on, and moved as if she was on the stage. 

Perhaps…she would do good on stage with Furina in Fontaine. 

“Fischl, I do need your help on something.” You asked when she finally finished, and she straightened herself with grace as expected from the Prinzessin der Verurteilung. 

“I need your help with my stories. I want you to create elaborate and dramatic narratives for everyone to love.” She froze for a moment, but her grin immediately hid her surprise. 

“Why of course, I would be delighted. Allow me!” With just a few seconds to think, she immediately began her storytelling. 

With her little graceful steps and hops, she almost dances away, but she doesn’t stop sharing her fantasy story full of magic, fate, and stars. 

It was hard to keep up, but you didn’t want to disappoint her, so you did your best to type her word by word. 

Luckily, she seemed to slow down to match your pace, as if the two of you were a duet with the piano and violin. 

When she stops, you end off the story with a dramatic click, and you match her prideful smile. 

Truly, Fischl is a character not everyone can handle, but that’s alright.

After all, you love her for who she is, and maybe, Fischl appreciated that more than anything else.

[izicodes]

Hi, Hello! It’s me, Izzy and I am back from a very long break!

For those who don’t know who I am and just saw my post, I’m Isabelle but Izzy for short (and even shorter, Izi)! I run a Codeblr blog which I post about anything coding! I try to strictly only talk about coding, programming and computer science, but frankly, I ramble on about something else eventually! Hope you’re doing well!

Now, I know I said I wouldn't come back, but that was because I suddenly became stuck on what to post about and wanted to give myself a break and figure out how to do things on my blog and my online presence in general!

So, in summary, I am back from my break very inspired and eager to help more people get into programming / get better at programming! I will go on to talk about exactly what I have been doing during my break later on in this post, but wanted to say thank you to everyone who messaged me throughout the months and saw how I was! Very thought and extra blessings from God to you, please!

Working at my new-but-not-so-new job!

Yes! So, obviously, as a 21st Century girlie, I am working! Still at the music company that I started back in January! Now that I am 8 months into the job, I feel now I am fully immersed in the job and the projects and not feeling like an outsider! I went on multiple out-the-office events with the whole company and it was nice! Some I couldn’t attend because of religious reasons, but I still had fun! I got to meet a lot more girlies at my office that I don’t usually talk to (because I’m still the only girl in the frontend engineering team but there is a backend girlie but we don’t work close together so… distance)! Cheatingly, I am always ticking the box of “code every day”! However, work has made me do more UI/UX designing + frontend programming websites which I love! Always wanted to be both and not just one or the other! We are allowed to have 2 job titles, remember? (But make sure the salary is in accordance, of course, ~)

Learning new technologies! (for fun, obviously)

By “for fun” I mean personal reasons, the technologies I learnt on a whim were not for work but because I needed to learn them for personal projects I wanted to learn! I stress again; it’s more fun to learn something because you want to and not because you have to! So, I have been learning how to create desktop applications using ElectronJS and ReactJS (React has become my best friend!). Me now compared to me when I started my break is 10x smarter I feel like! My brain has definitely expanded somewhere…!

Latest project?!

Inspired by study productivity apps and wanting to track my Korean language progress, I am making a desktop application called ‘eStudySpace’! It would be my own personal app, but I want to see if I can actually pull something like this off! Right now I have not coded anything because I want to work on the design aspect first (which is smarter and a time saver in the future), so I have been on Figma for the last 2 weeks coming up with designs!

(It looks bad, I know this is like idea no.3287368 ugh...)

Miscs

I have been learning Korean for 4 months now. 

I have plans to move to a South-Eastern country, The Philippines? Singapore? Unsure!

I do have plans to switch to a new career but that’s more like 5 years into the future! But right now, I’m happy where I am at!

[thezombieprostitute]

Lmao this made me think of Jakey Poo

You know what? I'm making this canon for how Jake and Sunshine met.

Summary: Jake knows he's the luckiest man in the world and it's all because of you.

Warnings: None at this time. Please let me know if I missed any!

A/N: Reader is female. No physical descriptors used.

Part 1

Tech Tuesdays Masterlist

Poor Jake didn't have much going for him when he left military service for the civilian life. He's just not sure what to do with himself outside of work and gaming. He tries to go out, especially when he's meeting up with The Losers again, but often he finds himself just feeling lonely with too much time on his hands.

Then he gets a ticket from you. The problem seems like an easy enough fix so Jake, still being the new guy on the team, gets assigned to it. He signs onto the Zoom app that he despises with all of his being, but it's company policy to use it.

When you answer the Zoom call your voice is so sweet that it takes Jake a second to respond. You actually think there's something wrong with the connection and he hears you saying, "frick. Even in the future nothing works."

He laughs, recognizing the Spaceballs reference, and startles you. "Sorry about that," he chuckles, as he hears your gasp. "That was just...really funny. Don't meet a lot of Spaceballs fans these days." He shakes his head, "anyways, I'm going to take control of your computer for a bit so I can try to fix it."

"Of course," you reply. It is standard procedure.

Jake gets a remote look at your desktop background and gasps, "you're a Pokemon fan!"

"Gen 1 and proud," you reply.

"That might explain what happened," he starts. "You let your Magnemite get too close to your laptop!" You laugh at the joke and Jake feels his cheeks heat up.

"Well it certainly isn't a Rattata chewing on the wires," you chuckle back.

"Hmm. Maybe we should get maintenance to double check," he jokes. He starts poking around your system files and is immediately at a loss. "What the..."

"Everything okay?"

"Umm..." Jake starts floundering. "I, um, I think. Hmm..."

Shit, he thinks. He was really hoping he could impress you. He's never even seen you but you're so nice and a fellow geek. He wanted to go in, press a button and fix your problem, but this is something more complicated than the ticket implied. He's wishing he had his pirate hat to help him think.

"Okay," he shakes his head, clearing his thoughts, "I think I'm going to need to take a look at the computer itself to figure this out."

"Sure thing." You exchange names and give him your cubicle number and quickly start cleaning up your desk. He might be an IT guy but his voice is very sexy, his laugh even moreso. And he's a fellow geek! Not someone who looks down on you for liking "childish things". You want to make a good impression.

By the time Jake gets to your cubicle you've tidied up pretty well. You smile up at him and Jake swears he's never met a more beautiful woman in his life. He's barely able to get out a "hi" because you've taken his breath away.

You're trying hard not to giggle and kick your feet at how cute Jake is. The fact that you've flustered him isn't lost on you and it makes you feel even giddier.

"Um, I um, I like your, your Gravity Falls sweater," Jake finally gets out.

Looking down you realize you're wearing your handmade Mabel Pines sweater and your face lights up. "Oh, thanks! I made it myself!"

"That's so cool," Jake says, earnestly. "I'm always so jealous of people who can make their own cosplay stuff."

"I could make you something," you quickly offer. "If, that is, um, if you'd like."

He smiles at you and, for the first time in a very long time, he feels like everything's going to be okay. The clouds are parting and you, the sunshine, are lighting up his life.

Part 1

Tech Tuesdays Masterlist

Tagging: @alicedopey; @delicatebarness; @ellethespaceunicorn; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory; @late-to-the-party-81; @lokislady82; @ronearoundblindly

[jojo-oliver]

How to tumblr for artists… my own version

A collection of things that have been working for me, but may not work for everyone

~~~ your posts ~~~

!!!reblog your own stuff!!! you need to reblog your own stuff, there is nothing morally wrong with reblogging your own stuff regularly. in fact, it is morally right to allow the chance for more people to see your artwork.

~~~ queue it!! ~~~ my queue is 500 posts strong. maybe don't try to make your queue hundreds of posts strong in the same day omg but like… once every month or two i'll go through my whole blog and just scroll and "add to drafts" to every one of my own posts i have. then i'll use the "mass post editor" to add content warning tags. and add to queue, and shuffle. and then I write down what the date was for when I last added my posts to be reblogged on queue. this is helped by turning on timestamps for posts in tumblr "dashboard preferences" settings.

queueing is necessary and life saving for me. It takes out so much work with decision fatigue and the anxiety around posting. It also guarantees that even if I suddenly need time off or away from my phone, I don't just disappear and lose all traction. It also breaks the instant-gratification cycle that you expect when you finish an artwork. It's hard to keep creating when you post something and, when you're expecting to get that gratification, you get none... If you queue your new artwork to come out at a later time, you've separated that expectation - with time. It hurts less and contributes to a more consistent gratification thing instead of peaks and troughs.

~~~ tag ya stuff ~~~ when you're making a new post, the first 20 tags are what gets put into the searchable tags. do not feel shame for using lots of tags. shame is the mind-killer. tags are hard. hard to know what to tag a post with. hard to remember the tags. so I found some ways to help myself. maybe they'll help you too. dedicate some time towards just figuring out what tags you want to use. i have a list in my phone notes that i add tags to and reference whenever i'm making a new post. i have the phone right beside the laptop while i'm tagging so that i can just look at it and scroll. tags are the only way for people to find your artwork, other than people manually coming to your blog because they saw you somewhere. there is no algorithm. posting without tags, until you have an established fanbase, is throwing something into the void.

When I'm doing tag research, I look at what people seem to use - when you put something in the search bar, tumblr recommends you some that have a higher following, typically. Looks like this on desktop:

if you like one tag, look at what other people who use that tag also tag their posts with. Observe and learn how this tag is used. search through a bunch of them and write them down.

here's what i got in my notes, for the specific kind of art I post and look for:

these tags are sort of specific to me and the kind of art I make. You'll want to research your own tags, but this is an example of how I keep them organized to make posting more effective. I generally only write down a tag when it's got more than 2k followers. You might be tempted to use the tags with millions of followers, but I've actually found those a lot less functional for small artists. If your stuff doesn't immediately get a bunch of notifications, you're drowned out and pushed to the bottom much faster. But the bigger tags are better than no tags, so I keep them if I can't think of anything else to tag something with.

~~~ post at the right times….? ~~~

fridays and saturdays is when I post fresh new things... usually. every website has it's own peak hours, and you can find those hours in many different online articles that try to sell you social media growth services. tumblr is unique in having later hours.

here's some random graph from google images:

please don't over think this. please don't let this consume the idea of when to post, preventing you from posting at all. it doesn't mean too much - if you post during very active hours, maybe your art would just be pushed down the feed faster. if you post at the end of hours, maybe everyone's going to sleep… if you post at inactive hours, maybe there's less 'competition'… if you post at the beginning of active hours, maybe that's just more time for your post to circulate for the day, if you have enough people reblogging it once it drops....

this also is in EST. So fuck the other time zones, I guess. I'm over here in europe knowing that the "best" time to post would be like 2-3am or something. It's like this for most english-speaking majority sites - higher traffic in north american time zones.

it's also worth mentioning that this is scattered as heck, compared to other social media sites. and it's not like, the activity times of your followers. it's not the best time to post for your niche. this is just tumblr, broadly. all of tumblr.

~~~ Plan ahead for annual dates ~~~

Your artwork will get more circulation if it's posted on a celebratory day. You could just put them on your calendar and if you're wondering what to make, look on the calendar for what's coming soon. For example, asexual awareness day, trans day of visibility, location-specific holidays, etc. Here's my phone notes thing with my own recorded annuals:

I got these dates from googling and reading different articles, but I find that I still miss dates, and then I add them for next year. If you know of some I missed, tell me and I'll add them please <3

~~~ reblog other people's stuff ~~~

tumblr is sorta about ecosystems. things get passed around within groups of people that are all following eachother. to enter this ecosystem, you must engage and reblog other people's stuff too.

if you reblog other artists' stuff, sometimes they'll come over and reblog your stuff too. sometimes they'll follow you back. this is called becoming a mutual. I'll search specific tags for the kinds of people I want to follow and the kind of art I like - those are listed in the screenshot of my tag note under "Tags for finding new people".

I see a lot of blogs out there that are very clean, posts are tagless, and are only for the artists' content. like scrolling through a portfolio. I imagine this is good for people who are migrating to tumblr but already have their own established fanbase from elsewhere.

you don't need to do reblog other people's stuff on your art blog, you can do this on a separate blog. but if the two don't look very closely correlated, it's hard to tell who you are when you're interacting. and hard to make sure people know that you are the same person as your art blog. and you gotta remember to promote yourself on your personal blog.

~~~ have an art tag ~~~

make your blog easy to search!

if i go to your blog, and you've written 'artist' or 'sometimes art' in your bio, i wanna see it… it make me so sad when i don't get to see it. i want to reblog it. please let me reblog it :(

to make a tag on your own blog searchable, you don't need to repost it to add a tag. you don't even need to reblog it. you can actually just go back to the original post and edit it to add your tag. I've seen post people just have their art tag be something like #(blogname)art . you can see my own in my tags image above. if it's very unique, then it'll work tumblr-wide. I think that's good, since the tumblr search function is really weird. Otherwise it should still work if it's not entirely unique, people just have to make sure they're searching specifically your blog to see only your stuff.

I like to have a link in my pinned post where people can click to have immediately searched for my art tag. Convenience is king. Keep in mind that most people are on mobile, and if something isn't immediately clickable, they often won't find it.

~~~ be consistent and be patient ~~~

!!!this time will pass anyway!!! how many notes you have is not correlated with how good you are as an artist. wanting to earn something from your art means you essentially have two jobs. two potentially full time jobs. this shit's difficult. most of the job is promoting yourself. don't undersell how hard it is to do… don't feel bad for not immediately succeeding. I would write about how hard it's been to promote myself, but it would just be long and sad I think.

This isn't a full guide, please feel free to add more!!

I'm sure in another year I'll disagree with a lot of this, it will become irrelevant with time, and I'll have a lot of different opinions. Chip in and share what you've been doing? Teach me? This is very overwhelming. Don't do it all at once, just like, try one thing at a time, and see how it works for you. Your niche might be different. One size does not fit all. If you're confused about some of the things I talk about in here, you might be on mobile. I do most of my queueing and posting from the desktop browser version.

I will update this with more as things change, but I think you'll have to click through to see the updated post

[slavghoul]

Interview from Upset Magazine 6/2023

Words: Steven Loftin

Like an apparition manifesting within a dense fog, it was through radio static that Swedish rockers Ghost were formed. In the kindergarten he attended as a young boy, Tobias Forge found himself enamoured with the music crackling through the little toy speakers. From this point forward, he began picking apart the notes and melodies - his journey toward the lore and canon coming into focus as he sat, trying to figure out how this black magic could be summoned.

While it would be many years before he would don his garb as Papa Emeritus, the essence of what his future would sound like was being set through his exposure to a wide variety of music. If any proof were needed, just look to the impressive list of covers Ghost have put their ghastly mark upon, including 2016's 'Popestar' EP, which included the band's takes on Echo & The Bunnymen ('Nocturnal Me') and Simian Mobile Disco ('I Believe').

Ghost's latest EP is another covers bonanza. A five-piece offering of Tobias's backstory, 'Phantomime' plays out like a Greatest Hits radio playlist - a fitting throwback to Tobias' first dalliances with music. Of course, when a group more aligned to the metal/hard rock community bust out covers, including Genesis and Tina Turner, eyebrows are raised. To this reaction, Tobias scoffs. "In 1991, Genesis was one of the biggest bands on the planet! That was a huge hit. In the mid-80s, when I had an older teenage brother who rented every VHS movie that came out, of course, we saw the fucking Thunderdome, and that was a huge hit, and it's still being played on Swedish radio. It's an evergreen; it's not an eclectic choice at all," he declares. "I grew up listening to Stranglers because my brother liked them. What else do we have, Iron Maiden - I mean, are you kidding? I'm a metalhead!"

Originally conceived during the sessions for their fifth album, last year's 'Impera', there were two folders on his computer's desktop: one named 'Impera', the other simply 'Covers'. As the ideas for 'Impera' grew, Tobias would enter his usual routine of working on a cover or two. "At any point, when you lose a little wind in writing your own things, it's quite nice to say, 'Today let's go in and work on the covers'; you can choose anything you want, you can work on absolutely anything you want. And you don't have to finish it, you don't have to release it, you don't have to do anything, but just continue working."

He likens it to the freedom of being a theatre owner who, instead of trying to pen the next greatest Broadway phenomenon, opts to have a go at something already timeless and perfected.

"Maybe you're like, 'Okay, so this fall we're just going to do a reinterpretation of Hamlet instead, that's going to be fine, and that keeps everyone working, and that keeps a project moving along! And I find a similar thing with working on covers. So as I was writing "Impera', the covers folder was also growing exponentially and at a point. I had this idea that was going to be a full-length album."

With COVID restrictions meaning the original producer for 'Impera' was stuck in the US, Tobias had to source a replacement. It would be Klas Åhlund who stepped up to the plate. But, on one condition. "He was pretty upfront. He was like. Yeah, I only want to make the record; I don't want to work on covers," Tobias remembers "Fine, fine, fine, that's fine." he shrugs. "So, after the 'Impera' recording was done, I felt as if making a completely different, whole record again: I didn't have time for that. I didn't have the energy for that. But once I trimmed down the number of songs to only these five to make a very rocky record, it loosened up the screws a little bit for me in terms of like, "Okay, so now I know what the EP is going to be - it's going to be a full, full-throttle rock one."

Ditching some rumoured softer covers, including U2, Misfits, and Motörhead. 'Phantomime is instead a delectable slice of Ghost doing what Ghost do best: creating theatrically big rock. It's Tobias's mark upon some bonafide classics, including Iron Maiden's 'Phantom of the Opera' which feels as befitting to Ghost as it does seeing Papa Emeritus kick the bucket ready for his next iteration. While the focus was on creating this small dose of Tobias's musical DNA, it also served another purpose; to simply be "not very complicated." The project began with the mindset of "we can make this recording loosely - quick but stress-free - as opposed to making a record which is your hard fifth record that needs to live up to certain standards. So it was just a very inspired, very simple recording, actually."

After the complexities of 'Impera' which wound up requiring two studios simultaneously running in parallel "to be able to work efficiently" - Ghost was morphing into a taxing experience for the band leader, "It was just a bigger thing [and] way more stressful."

Deciding to strip that covers folder down to the five tracks, by all accounts, 'Phantomime was a measured and reserved effort. "It ended up being me, an engineer, and an occasional musician coming in and doing something. It was so much looser, so much more mentally Feng Shui," he smiles, relief glowing in his voice. "And I think that that reflected a little bit on the two different records. They're meant to be related - they are definitely related - they were made roughly in the same time, but they're completely different things."

'Phantomime' plays out like a ghoulish social commentary. Starting with a searing rendition of Televison's 'See No Evil, the journey traverses the scourge of Televangelism (Genesis' Jesus He Knows Me') with a delightfully-fitting NSFW video, the instant gratification humans require to feel (The Stranglers' Hanging Around"); the pull back into cruel reality (Phantom Of The Opera"), and the resulting undying hope from a degraded society (Tina Turner's 'We Don't Need Another Hero"). Each offering is bolstered with Ghost's dramatic, theatric rock licks and Tobias's powerhouse vocals.

With 'Phantomime' in the bag and the European leg of the 'Impera' tour imminent (Tobias is currently holed up in preparation), the idea of reflecting on how he came to go from a young boy listening to the static sounds of pop hits on the radio to orchestrating not only a feverishly adored band and its lore but finding the capacity to embrace his inner music nerd, couldn't be more timely. Tobias's relationship with music has always been one of intrigue. He's a pop songwriter with the ambition and ideas of a stadium rock band, which, in essence, explains perfectly why Ghost can sit in a unique, exponentially growing and expanding space.

"My earliest inclination of wanting to transform into something else was definitely Twisted Sister," he recalls. "You know, "I Want To Rock' and 'We're Not Going To Take It' - that was a huge record in 1984, and in 1984, I was three years old," he says. "My brother was 16, so everything that was going on pop-culturally amongst teenagers was happening in my home."

It was thanks to his brother that much of Tobias's relationship with music was formed. He's introduced him to various giants of the time, like tectonic plates being pushed around, impacting and shaping his musical landscape. Translating for young Tobias the attitude of punk at the time, as well as everything else that was 'in', he remembers, "When I was a kid, and he was supposed to babysit me, as a pacifier he would put me in front of [Sex Pistols mockumentary film] 'The Great Rock 'n' Roll Swindle"," he laughs. "And then when that was over, he would just switch to [X-rated cartoon] Fritz the Cat. And I loved that stuff, of course. That was as much [about] the expression and the attitude. Of course, I loved the songs, but it was also filtered or combined with big songs for me." Those big songs ("Men At Work 'Down Under'," he initially cites, "those sort of songs still have a unique place in my in my writing") would eventually entwine with his darker side that he'd explore as he grew older. "Whilst my whole adolescence was completely in the name of extreme metal, I always had a very soft spot for Top 40 rock and pop radio always," Tobias explains. "And I've listened to that all my life. So it's almost equal portions of Venom as it is anything. that was on the radio."

Also, witnessing shock and glam-rock bands explode intrigued Tobias. He became swept away in the idea that not only could you push a boundary to its absolute limits with convictions and over-the-top grandiosity, but you could do so with songs that quantifiably bop. But, as time has gone onto prove, it wasn't pop music that enamoured Tobias enough that he wanted to become a pop star. It's the mythology and mystery that has become his calling card.

Tobias remained an enigma under the disguise of an evolving form of the iconic Papa Emeritus (now in his fourth incarnation) until 2017, after a lawsuit from a previous iteration of his backing band's rotating cast, the Nameless Ghouls. Visual and video components to releases are often hoovered up by the fandom, stripped apart for meaning and potential. Instagram posts are referred to as a '[Message From The Clergy]" (a phrase later claimed for 2022's Best Of playlist), and lest it is forgotten, the Ghost 'Grucifix' - the prominent crucifix deconstructed into Tobias's gothic 'G' logo - which ties together the vision, religious imagery and satire that would become a core part of the Ghost experience.

His musical ambition and education colliding in the middle of his Venn diagram between dark metal and pop magic is thanks to the likes of the aforementioned Twisted Sister and W.A.S.P., as well as his teen years in the black metal community. "Their first record was also a huge impact in Swedish media," Tobias remembers. "There was this big sort of Satanic panic thing going on at the time in the fall of 1984. Where you had essentially all those things happening. You had Mötley Crüe 'Shout At The Devil', which came out a year earlier, and they were there because they toured with Iron Maiden in 1984, so there was a lot of focus on these shock-rock bands. I saw that as a kid, and I was immediately blown away - it was the coolest thing I've ever seen. And I think that that was the trigger that made me identify as that is how I want to express myself."

Decoding the songs he'd hear also became an integral part of that expression. "That was the only thing I did for years before I started writing my own songs." Recalling his time in kindergarten, they had a piano and guitar, which Tobias became infatuated with. Instead of playing with the other children, he would find himself enraptured, listening to the radio or flipping over whichever cassette happened to be loaded at the time. He would then imitate the sounds he was soaking up. "A lot of those early beginnings of how to learn and how I've learned how to understand music filters through everything I do now," he explains.

The early records he'd find himself trying to unpack included KISS 'Alive' and Pink Floyd's 'Piper At The Gates Of Dawn' - disparate matches, but undoubtedly Ghost fuel with hard rock melodies and psychedelic tendencies. "I had the first and the second Pink Floyd on a double LP that was called 'A Nice Pair'. And that's the shit that I sat and listened to and played guitar to," he says proudly. "That's weird music, that's really weird chord sequences and melodies that sort of went nowhere. And, that coloured me a lot in my vision of this is how you write a pop song. Of course, I knew more conventional writing as well. But I figured that this resonates with me, and I want to write more like that."

Tobias is the first to admit that the influence his musical exposure has had on him isn't the most straightforward. "For all the years that I was in bands, up until Ghost, basically when I was in bands not doing well, I got a lot of, I wouldn't say stick, but it was always like, 'You write weird songs, there's something weird about them, and it will never really become anything because it has that sort of weirdness to it".

As he grew, the songs he'd heard reflected this inherent strangeness he'd constructed. Before the days of mass formulaic pop factories, the music emanating from the radio abided by the strictest rule of needing to at least be approachable, but within these confines, artists of the 70s and 80s would push the envelope as far as they could. Citing Nik Kershaw's 'The Riddle' as one example, "Holy shit, if you would have taken that song and taken it to a chord structure masterclass amongst pop writers now who want to write songs for Miley Cyrus or The Weeknd or any of that sort of level they would say, no, no, no, no, that this will never work. It's too strange. It's too weird. You can't do that; it doesn't have the normal chord progression.

"There are a lot of songs from the 80s that are like that," he reckons, "compared to the now, more informative way of writing, the 80s was braver actually, and it worked well. And those songs are evergreens in a way that a lot of the top radio shit from seven years ago is forgotten, and that's the stuff that I grew up with when I started playing the guitar."

Having made that inner sanctum, he would enter kindergarten a reality, one where he can explore those recesses of his mind shaken by the musical earthquakes he experienced; now, he's matured and deeply entrenched in the reality. "Throughout the modern day of pop writing, I know a few professional pop songwriters, and we continue having these conversations because in pop," he says, "where some of them work prolifically on really high releases, they're like, it's strange how the business wants everything to be so informative. Everybody wants a weird song, but still, all the big songs are usually very, very formatted [and] very, very simple."

While unpacking the songs he'd heard back in the 80s offered Tobias a chance to comprehend what makes a good song, it, more importantly, helped him to set out doing it on his own. When digging into crafting a new Ghost number, Tobias explains that "each new song is a little bit like virgin territory with its own riddle to be solved, and is always a combination of the horror of maybe not solving the puzzle, with the thrill when you do. And it's never easy because each new song needs something new. And so you constantly need to feed your ability with knowledge about how other things are."

Breaking it down into a figurative example, he likens it to being like a detective. "I'm assuming that part of being a great detective is to constantly have an open mind, but also constantly learning about human behaviour and wha people do. If you just had 100 forensic classes, but you know nothing about people and how they live their lives, it's gonna be hard to solve crimes." The same rings true for writers who have to read to improve and further understand language, while comedians pull from real-life experiences - music is no different. Tobias's early days of stripping down songs to their basic parts and then rebuilding them have remained a constant endeavour. "But that's how you write songs as well; you go and absorb new things."

The covers process, as mentioned, is a release for Tobias. When things are stuck when trying to piece together a new chapter for the Ghost bible, a cover offers up a chance for something lighter. "Working on covers can be equally euphoric," he confirms, "because it's fun to understand a song whereas, on the other hand, it can be almost demoralising because you're like, I can't believe that this song is so much better than anything that I've written! And it's so much easier. It's so simple."

"I find myself overcomplicating things often, but you might not hear the complicated detour that I took to end up at the more understandable, straighter version that ended up being the actual recording," he continues. "That's a never-ending struggle because that's how it's supposed to be. It's not like you write the one song. I don't think I know anyone or know of anyone who's content with the idea of having written one huge song. And then you know, okay, that's nirvana for you. You don't write the one song the same way that if you're a comedian, it's not like, 'Oh, I just told the funniest joke. So now I'm done".

While Tobias is one for wanting to keep the ball rolling and on a constant endeavour to continue his musical evolution, he knows there's a limit. Every release of Ghost must have a purpose. Nodding to the 60s method of firing singles out on all fronts, eventually compiling them for a full-length release, Tobias acknowledges his relationship with his fans is based on a more long-term understanding. "That's not how we do things; we make an album, and off of that album, there are singles - it's a 70s/80s thinking. And I don't want to refrain from that - I don't want too many singles to be these autonomous little creatures."

But the world is different now. It's a Wild West where being in the masses' consciousness is key, so things may have to change for him. Admitting that right now, he knows he's post-release of Ghost's last canon entry, 'Impera', which arrived back in 2022, and while 'Phantomime' is a reasonable enough bridge, sooner or later, he's going to have to play the game of ensuring Ghost ramp up. Earlier this year, Ghost collaborated with Def Leppard's Joe Elliott on a re-release of 'Impera' cut 'Spillways' which, while a fantastic addition to their arsenal, adds to the same notion Tobias is fearful of. "I'm slowly preparing for making a new record that's going to come out in 2024, which is way too long for the current contemporary music climate; you need to be ever-present," the last phrase hanging in the air ominously.

That doesn't mean he has to lower his standards, however. No Ghost release will exist just for content's sake. Everything must have its place. He even reckons a 14-track album is "a lot of music", and he still sees an album as being "22 minutes of music per side" - true to form, currently, no standard issue of any Ghost album breaches 12 tracks. He's even ready to aim for the likes of The Rolling Stones and The Beatles by swiftly lobbing a couple of spicy takes out. "Look, man, I don't even think that 'Exile on Main Street' is that good. Not even the fucking White album is that great - break it up! Both of those records would have been better if they were trimmed down to singular records."

That pop mind breaking through; Tobias is someone who knows that music is entertainment. Certainly, a medium which often leads to more bulky connotations, but it must entertain. It's why he doesn't pay any mind to those naysayers that yearn for Ghost to be more metal or to follow a different path. This is Tobias's game; we're just privy to the sermon. These days the floodgates are open and, when compared to previous decades, as Tobias remembers it, "you had to buy your own records. Whatever additional music you got, that wasn't maybe heard on the TV or the radio, when you took something from someone else, was usually a choice, so music styles could in some way be a little bit more insular back then just because you weren't subjected to as much." He mentions his beloved death metal as being a signifier of the changes happening. "Back in the day, when I was starting listening to extreme metal, that was completely embraced by a certain little subculture or group of mostly teenagers and 20-somethings. Whereas in the 2000s, when Vice started doing black metal reporting, all of a sudden you have indie personalities who were fans of Darkthrone, and so, obviously, what ended up that turned into this fusion, which was a positive and very natural thing."

This cultural shift is another reason Ghost's space is widening and its success growing. "Nowadays, people are a little bit more open," he admits. But, with this comes issues. "As time has progressed, metal and hard rock, as well as most genres that have been around for a while, [they've] gone from this youth culture to a conservative institution because so many of the fans are now aged." The passage of time waits for no one. But, more presciently for culture, it also means our understanding of what is 'good' and what should be where is moulded differently to when we were younger. "Unfortunately, that happens to most people regardless of who you were when you were 20," Tobias reckons, "or your ideals when you're like 40/50/60 years old. Your brain starts morphing into a slightly more conservative, slightly more nostalgic... You don't want things to change."

Tobias is the first to hold his hands up and admit the same has happened to him. He yearns for 1984 and even 1990-94. He would even be happy with 1987, back to those days with the crackling radio and a childlike spirit. "That would be so much cooler. I loved that way more than in this day and age. But I can't sit around and mope about that because it's not a problem that it's not 1987."

'Phantomime' is proof nostalgia can be a useful tool. It fuels with passion, and Ghost is Tobias's Neverland. "There's such a debate about what we are and why that is." Ghost are a band that, thanks to Tobias's musical education, transcend time. They exist on their own plain and with the evergreen, timeless sounds of yesteryear echoing around Tobias's head, long may Papa reign with his gloved melodic iron fist.

[dr-docktor]

About Floppy Disk Curt... So, do you have some more plot made for this au? Sorry if you made a post and I missed it, I just mean - how does Owen realize that Curt is (semi) sentient? What does he do? How sentient is Curt, actually? What does he remember? And how much can he feel? Does their codependence get worse?

HAHAHA I'M SO GLAD YOU ASKED. I sort of expanded on some of the lore in some previous asks but none of it is super organized so I can go over it real quick! I'm still developing a lot of it so if things don't make a ton of sense, I'm working on fixing that lol. First off, I sort of shifted the time period around to be closer to the 90's to better fit the technology, aesthetics, and the rise in popularity of mascot-y desktop assistants.

Owen kills Curt during the staircase scene and despite what he tells himself and his coworkers. He regrets it. He regrets it so god damned much. There's no one to feel so strongly about anymore, whether it be love or seething hatred. He just feels empty.

Meanwhile, Chimera retrieved Curt's corpse and uploaded his consciousness into a computer with the hopes of getting what little he knows about the inner workings of A.S.S. out of him. (don't ask how this is possible, uhhhh silly sci-fi shenanigans I guess)

Of course, he's not cooperative. So Chimera opts to do the totally sane and not evil thing by separating himself from his memories of being human. His ambitions, his relationships, everything except for what Chimera needs. They can't seem to find a way to outright delete the memories for good (I'll probably either rework this part or figure out why they can't outright delete them) but what they can do is try and build up walls of restrictions to prevent him from accessing them. So for a a little while he's just this blank slate spitting out what little information he knows about A.S.S. Mostly useless.

Until Chimera gets an idea.

With the rise of a new trend comes the opportunity for PROFIT. This one being the rise of household computers and mascot-y desktop assistants to help the average user learn how to use a computer.

But Chimera wants to take it a step further. They are the future, after all. They want a desk top assistant that's incredibly life-like. Something that the user can have a genuine conversation with (like an incredibly early chatbot). This project is also absolutely meant to be spy-ware. 1000%. No way its not.

They call the project the 'Beta Anatomy Simulacrum Technology for Research and Development'. Or B.A.S.T.R.D for short! (I had to STRETCH to make that acronym work lmao)

Rather than start this from scratch, the project head (The name I'm going with right now is Harper Royale) has the brilliant thought of "well, what's more life-like than an actual human consciousness in a computer that we have collecting dust somewhere in the tech labs? It's already a husk we just add some code to it and bam it's ready!"

So they take the empty husk of digital curt mega and fix it up a little. Royale thinks its a good idea to give a miniscule amount of his humanity back to him. Namely curiosity (so he can learn things) and a basic understanding of how to have a functional conversation with people. Nearly everything else, like the cheery personality and character model, is all added in by the developers.

The good news is the projects going great! Employees within Chimera are finding the little guy really helpful and entertaining. Employees nickname him DC as a reference to his knowledge on A.S.S. Like their own personal informant inside DC (as in the capital of the us where a lot of government buildings and information is stored)

The bad news? Curiosity. Because now he wants to know why the sad looking British guy from one of the first few rounds of test trials keeps calling him Curt.

Tt spirals into this terrible loop of DC starting to put stuff together, never quite reaching the conclusion that he was a living person once (much less the importance of one Owen Carvour) before the employees catch on to what he's doing and reset him from square one. Over and Over and Over again. The only frame of reference that DC has are these hidden notes he leaves himself during each loop.

Eventually the higher-ups at Chimera realize that the cost of having to go through the complicated process of resetting DC the moment they figure out that he's gained a little sentience and then run through test trials AGAIN simply outweighs the potential profit. So they move to shut down the project, much to Royale's dismay.

The higher-ups joke that Carvour should be the one to do the honors, given everything between him and Curt. And he's like "ok yeah I'll do it" and they're like "we were joking but you've given us zero reason to doubt you so have fun killing the simulacrum of your former closest friend, bestie"

Owen, of course, decides to go behind everyone's backs and download the one and only existing copy of the B.A.S.T.R.D program onto his personal computer. At this point, Owen has no clue about DC slowly regaining his sentience if left unchecked and literally only did it because he has problems about processing the fact that he killed Curt that he refuses to confront. (what a normal guy)

So slowly, having been freed from this loop of resets, DC slowly begins to put together the pieces. He doesn't know how exactly Owen may or may not be involved in any of this, but he keeps most of this growing autonomy a secret for safety reasons. Just in case Owen is decidedly someone not to be trusted and turns him in.

DC, however, will test still the waters by subtly bringing up memories that he knows are somehow important to either him or Owen and then gauging his reaction. Doing his damn best to put together context clues.

Admittedly I don't have anything beyond this yet. I'm still working on Owen's reactions to all of this and also how the technology works. But I hope this answers at least some of your questions!

[runa-falls]

cat and mouse - 3

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x Supervillain(?)!Reader

Warnings: mention of alcohol and being inebriated, Miguel in normal clothes (yes this is a warning), friends vs. lovers type beat

a/n: this one might be a little frustrating fyi. also it might be a while for the next part to come out bc i'm having trouble figure out where i want this story to go.

Summary: Every time you try to convince people it was an accident, you immediately get ratted out to the Spider. But really, it was! You don't know why you're being hunted, you didn't even do anything wrong. Yet.

w/c: 2.4k

part 1 part 2 part 4

masterlist

----

The villain's life isn’t too bad. Especially when you have friends. Well, a friend.

Really, it’s just like being unemployed, but you’re not living off of your life savings, you’re living off of someone else’s.

Maybe someone else’s else’s savings.

Ok fine, you’ll admit it. You haven’t actually done much crime at all. You’ve just been mooching off of Felicia like a girl with a sugar mama.

So what? It’s not your fault she’s the most generous criminal you’ve ever met. And technically, the money comes directly from other people’s accounts, so you are still acting as an accessory to a crime and that’s good enough for you.

So far, you’ve been treating these past few weeks like an extended vacation. 

You’re still not used to your powers. It’s not as easy as thinking about something and it happens. It’s more like a feeling, something you have to pull from within. After the first few times of accidentally exploding someone’s Kia Soul and a breakfast sandwich that cost $12 (which is a crime in itself), you’ve been a little apprehensive about using your powers unless you really need them.  

Thankfully, you have Felicia to teach you a few non-power-related moves just in case. You actually thought you’d never see her again after she left you on that roof. Even though she did say, “I’ll see you later,” you thought she was just being polite. But then you got a text for brunch a few days later.

Feli is not a villain, but she’s certainly not a hero either. She kinda just does what she wants when she feels like it. It’s inspiring, really. 

You never told her about what happened that other night, not wanting to mention how Spider-Man mistook you for her. Or the fact that your shared a heated kiss with the hero. You’re supposed to be a bad-ass criminal, not some girl who fraternizes with superheroes like some sort of groupie. You do, however, tell her about how full-black suits aren’t your style and that you’re thinking about finally embracing your fiery locks.

She agrees adding, “We can’t show up in the same fit every time we’re committing a crime. We need to keep it fresh, give ‘em something to talk about.” 

You were ready to go down to a fabric shop and stitch something quick together, but Feli adamantly convinced you that she would take care of it. Feli has this awesome AI assistant named Zee that does everything from ordering groceries to building her a new ultra-sleek motorcycle. You were told to tell Zee what you were looking for in your new suit since she’s also conveniently connected to an advanced fabricator. 

“Hello, Ms. Hardy and Ms. Blaze.” You grumble at the AI’s use of your long-hated nickname, “How can I be of service?”

“Make her a new suit,” Feli commanded, “and make it quick, we have things to do today.” She sits at a desk, clicking idly through her large desktop. You peek over her shoulder, curious about what she’s working on. It’s a Pinterest board full of outfits and modern interior design ideas. 

“Certainly. What are you looking for?” A holographic menu streams from the fabricating machine, showing you options for the size, fit, and design of the suit. 

“Orange, maybe? And make it a little more breathable, I was sweating bullets in that other one.” 

The menu scrolls around as you speak, showing you favorable color combinations and breathable fabrics and designs. 

You tap on a fiery orange and black palette. It’s simple and makes sense. A few designs with your chosen colors pop up and you see the perfect one. It’s asymmetrical, leaving enough skin uncovered to ensure there’s a fair amount of ventilation for your extra-warm radioactive body heat. You click the ‘process’ button, and the machine starts right away. Estimated Time: 14 hrs and 27 minutes.

Feli stands up when she hears the rev of the machine working its magic. “Alright, darling, let’s get you up to my closet. We’re going to the club.” 

—

Apparently, one of Feli’s associates owns the club we’re going to. 

“He’s been asking about you, hearing about the power plant and all.” The limo he sent to her house is exquisite, offering expensive champagne and snacks. The windows are super tinted for privacy and the partition has been rolled up since you got in, so you can’t really tell where you’re headed. “I told him I’d bring you around the club sometime. That is if he lets us have some fun afterward.” 

The club itself is quite packed. The building throbs with the heavy bass of electronic music that you can hear even through the heavy metal doors. There’s already a line that wraps around the block and it’s only 8 pm. 

You carefully step out of the limo after Feli, trying not to trip in your borrowed heels. The bouncer instantly recognizes her and lets you pass, velvet rope pulled aside. 

The sea of dancing bodies moves like a stop-motion film under the strobing lights as you walk right past the general area. You pass through a curtained entrance, walk up some stairs, and stop in front of the balcony area that overlooks the dance floor. VIP only, it says. 

In the middle of the sitting area is a large bald man dressed in a proper suit, making him look like a frightening businessman. A large smile appears on his pale face when he spots your friend and he stands up to greet the two of you.

You can barely hear his voice over the loud music. “Felicia Hardy, wonderful to see you.” She offers her hand which he politely pecks. 

She merely acknowledges him, “Fisk.”

He turns to you. “And you must be the famous, Blaze.” You don’t offer a hand and he doesn’t seem to mind.

“Nice to meet you, sir.”

“Please, call me Wilson.”

You don’t spend too much time with him, both because he seemed pretty busy and Feli wanted to go downstairs as soon as possible. He asks you normal things like where you’re from and how you met Feli, but he was mostly curious about your powers and how you got them. 

“A vat, hm? I’ve heard that one before.” It’s true. Vats of shit almost ensure the creation of new villains. “S’a miracle you didn’t die from that.” 

—

Feli is a lot more talkative once you leave Fisk. Despite working for him, she doesn’t seem all that fond of him. “He’ll probably call you up if he ever needs your skillset. I’d recommend taking whatever job he offers, he usually compensates generously.”

“But how? I didn’t give him my number.”

“Doesn’t matter. He’ll be in touch.” 

She tells you to find a table while she gets some drinks. Apparently, the bar is open for her, another perk of working with Fisk. You feel like a wallflower as you wait for her, watching as people come and go to the dancefloor or bar. You sit at the high-top table, legs swinging idly to the beat of the music.

You’re almost shoved off your seat when someone bumps into you and you have to hold onto the table to keep your balance. “Oh, sorry,” You hear a familiar voice say over the pounding music.

“It’s ok.”

 “Lava Girl,” You look over at the man, head having to tilt up to see his face. “Didn’t expect to see you here.” You barely recognize him as you’ve never seen him out of the suit before. He’s wearing a tight black short-sleeve that stretches nicely over his broad chest and dark wash jeans. Looking like any other civilian. 

“Miguel!” His eyes wander over the short black dress you were borrowing from Felicia, briefly stopping over the length of your bare legs that are visible through the glass table.

“Always seem to be wearing something new when I see you.”

“Well, my friend has expensive taste.”

His brows furrow, “Friend? You’re here with someone?” 

“Mhm.” Your eye catches on a head of silver hair, wandering through the crowds of loud and rowdy people. “Oh, just a sec. There she is.” You stand up to catch her attention and miraculously she spots you, flashing a smile as you wave your arms around like a lunatic. 

Then she sees him and her soft smile stops. One of her perfectly tailored eyebrows raises as she joins the two of you, drinks in hand. “You.” 

He seems surprised to see her. “Fel…” There’s a long bout of silence between the three of you. Whatever light energy was there quickly grows tense and you start to feel uncomfortable. 

What’s with these two?

You try to salvage whatever you can from this weird conversation. “So, how do you guys know each other?” Felicia’s gaze releases its hold on Miguel and they both look at you, almost like forgot you were even there. 

Miguel starts. “Uh, we’re old friends.” She gives him a look that you can’t decipher. “Older enemies.”

Then she writes it out, “Ex’s.” 

You can tell he’s trying to hide a wince, but he’s not very good at it. So he was looking for her that night. Does that mean he would’ve kissed her instead of you then? Wait, that also means you kissed your best friend's ex! Shit.

“Oh.” You pick up a coaster just to have something to do with your hands. “Well, that’s cool– I mean it’s not cool, but– like, oh, so that’s how you know each other. Wow, what a small–”

“Why are you here Mig?” Suspicion drips off each word as she steps forward, almost like she’s trying to protect you. 

“You’re asking why I’m at a club owned by one of the notorious crime lords in Nueva York?” 

And all of a sudden you’re not there again. It’s just them. 

“No, I’m asking why you’re here. With her.” 

“Can’t a guy just say hi to a friend?”

It dawns on her. “She knows?” She says through gritted teeth. 

He run a hand through his dark brown waves, “Look, it just happened.”

“Miguel, leave her alone, she hasn’t done anything.” You feel like you’re a kid watching her parents bicker about things unknown to you. You nervously fiddle with the hem of your skirt.

“She’s a good girl.”

“It’s not like that, Fel.” She rolls her emerald green eyes.

“Sure, it isn’t. I know you, Miguel.” 

He scoffs, “Yeah, whatever.” He brushes her off, clearly done with the conversation. “Ok, well, I’d love to stay longer, but I did actually come here for a reason.” He pulls away from the table, “It was nice seeing you, Blaze.” You could tell that he means it just by the way he looks at you. 

You nod at him, not really up to say much of anything after tonight. You can tell you’re dismissive send-off stings, but you don’t really care. 

“Hardy.” She doesn’t even look at him and he walks away without another word.

“Ugh, that guy.” Feli takes a deep sip of her vodka cran and you watch as a napkin sticks to the sweating glass as she tilts it back. She pushes yours closer to you, letting the perspiration drag against the glass table.

At this point, you’re not really feeling the whole club scene anymore.

“Promise you’ll stay away from him.” Your eyes lift from your untouched glass to meet her stare. “I know he’s Nueva York’s sweetheart Spider-Man or whatever, but he’s bad news, trust me.” 

“Ok.” 

“You really don’t wanna get caught up in the superhero drama. I’m just, trying to look out for you, Blaze.” 

You nod, forcing yourself to smile. “I know.”

And you do. She probably has a good reason for it, but it doesn’t make you feel any better.

All the events of the evening sit in the air for a second. Felicia, Fisk, and Miguel. Your brain is having a hard time organizing everything and the noises around you aren’t helping.

You decidedly pick up your glass without thinking and quickly drain it, barely even tasting it before feeling its cool contents bloom throughout your body. You set it down a bit harsher than you intended, but the coaster does a good job of absorbing the sound. 

You hop off your seat. “Let’s dance.”

Feli is surprised by your sudden changed mood, “Oh, right now?” You need to let loose. You can’t let some stupid kiss ruin your new life. You can’t let anything distract you. You can’t let him distract you. As of now, you’re a new woman and you’re ready to embrace exactly who everyone thinks you are. 

You offer your hand, “Right now.” She takes it, letting you lead her straight to the middle of the dancefloor. 

—

This time you run before you even see him. Well ‘run’ may be an exaggeration. You were too drunk to even walk in a straight line so let’s just say you ‘left.’

So the night went off the rails a little bit. One fruity mixed drink turned into a few rounds of shots, which turned into a very ambitious plan to revisit that bank that shut down on you a few weeks ago. Since it hasn’t been hit since that night, you assumed everything would’ve simmered down around it. Less security, less fuss, and less Spider-Man. And you were right. 

You were also careless. 

Drunk girls and endless power create an interesting scene for the police to discover. First, you skipped the doors altogether. Why use the front entrance, when you can walk straight into the vault? By the time the cops would get there, they’d be greeted by a huge hole that rips through several layers of (theoretically) indestructible materials.

Then there are the two blood-red lipstick kisses right next to it. That was Feli’s idea.

“Oh my god, you know what would be so cute? If we signed off on this with little kisses!”

“Why would we do that?” Your words slur slightly as you step into the vault. It’s stacked high with bills placed in perfectly rectangular towers. A soft breeze could easily ruin the whole room. 

“A girl’s gotta leave her mark.”

“Mm…ok, why not.”

You stuff your small handbags to the brim, not worried when a few bills fall out. This job isn’t really about the money, it’s about sending a message. 

You both casually stagger away from the crime scene, catch a cab (paying with handfuls of cash because you can’t be bothered to count it out), and get back to her place. 

“You staying over?”

“Can I?”

“Of course, darling.”

[save-the-villainous-cat]

Can you do an undercover hero working for the villain and the villain hears them talking to superhero but make it spicy?

“Could you come over to my office, love?” The hero nearly choked on air as they heard the villain’s voice on the other side of the door, persuasive and gentle. Involuntarily, they clasped their phone a little too harshly as they tried to conceal their superior’s voice.

“What is going on?” They were already aggravated. In their opinion, the mission was clearly taking longer than it needed to but the hero needed time to figure out the important details.

Important details which weren’t interesting enough to the superhero.

“I gotta go. You can keep listening but I can’t talk right now.”

“Hey, what are you—”

The hero didn’t end the call, they just muted their superior and let them sink back into their pocket. They hurried out of the break room, still a little frustrated. Getting criticised for their work was a little infuriating. It had taken a lot of work to get the villain to even talk to them. Trust was something which only grew slowly.

“Are you alright?” the villain asked softly. “You look a little red in the face.”

They sat on their chair, looking at their desktop.

“I— uhm…I am fine.” The hero gave a small smile in the hopes of convincing the villain this lie was true. “What can I help you with?”

Unfortunately, the villain was attractive. Stupidly attractive. Their eyes pierced through the hero and tugged at their heartstrings, taking everything apart with surgical precision. Whenever the hero messed up (on purpose, for reasons of sabotage), the villain defended them in front of the other villains.

They brought them coffee, even though it was the hero’s job as their assistant. It had been going on like this for the last week and truly, the hero didn’t want this to end. Somehow, the hero felt drawn to them, not only because they were good-looking.

But because they were also their nemesis.

Exciting, in a twisted way.

“Come here.” The villain gave them a once-over and the hero obeyed immediately. As soon as they stood in front of them, the villain got up, so much taller with so much more power in their own building, all of it right in front of the hero.

The pressure was crushing the hero. Not only that, but also the villain just being the villain was intimidating.

“Personally, I think relationships which develop at work are…messy.” The hero blushed. What a way to start a conversation.

“How so?” the hero asked, genuinely curious.

“Most of the time, there’s a power imbalance. I want an equal, not a dog following me around,” the villain said. Again, they looked at the hero and wetted their lips, probably not even aware of it.

“I’m sorry, I’m afraid I can’t follow,” the hero tried but their heart was beating in their chest harder than ever. It almost hurt.

The villain grinned at that, showing off their perfect set of teeth.

“Work is a nasty thing, isn’t it?”

“I enjoy it, actually—” Suddenly, the villain cornered them, trapping them between themselves and the desk. The hero gasped at the close proximity, at the villain’s arms caging them. They leaned in, slowly and some sort of panic entered the hero’s nervous system. However, they weren’t worried about the danger of being caught. This feeling was something else.

“Darling,” the villain purred, “what a smart hero you are…if I had known sooner, I would’ve devoured you a month ago.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about…” By now, the hero had to grab the villain’s shoulders to keep their balance and prevent crashing onto the desk. Panic wasn’t part of this anymore.

All the hero could think about was the villain’s body against theirs. Meat to meat.

They gasped anew.

“Oh, please. I would’ve recognised that ass everywhere. But you were good…until you messed up last week.” The villain chuckled tenderly and let their hand fall down to the hero’s lower back.

To stabilise them, the hero realised.

“Not a power imbalance when the two most powerful people in the city are having fun…what do you think?” They dragged their finger down the hero’s throat, over their windpipe, down to their chest. The hero grabbed the villain’s wrist.

“Please…”

“Sensitive?” the villain asked and the hero could only nod in embarrassment. The villain’s smirk only grew.

“You’re adorable. You have always been my favourite.” The hero blushed even more than they already did. “But, my love…end that call, will you? What happens next here, isn’t for your superior’s ears.”

And that was the moment the hero wanted to sink into the ground and never appear again. They had totally forgotten that the superhero had heard everything.

[kewpidity]

kewpie's slapdash tips and tricks for making moodboards

ive been asked a few times about how i make my moodboards and my MethodTM so here it is!

this is an image heavy post and as detailed and comprehensive as i can possible make it, if you have any questions let me know and i'll help if i can!

also, this is made with sites and apps for desktop- i have no experience editing on mobile so if that's what you're looking for im afraid i cant help you, sorry! ↷↷↷

Choose Your Fighter

let's get right into it- first thing first choose a character, or a ship or a series or whatever! i'll be doing a ship because it's a teeny bit more involved than just a single character or series

the ship will be grim x mandy from the one show

Picking Pictures

obviously the most important part of a moodboard is the Pictures

i use pinterest personally, and finding them on there is usually pretty easy, especially if i have an idea of things i want to include. a lot of people already have boards made up for characters as well, so just searching the character names under the 'board' option will usually get you where you need to go!

but i know some people prefer sources with free to use, royalty free type images, so i included those as well:

pixabay unsplash

you can have as many or as little as you'd like, but personally i prefer the classic 9x9 grid style moodboards, so im obviously gathering 9 photos

as for what pictures to choose, here are some things to ask yourself:

do you have a color scheme you associate with this character/ship? are there any themes that are relevant?

these are the pics i choose for my board- they're raw, unedited, and uncropped, which we'll be changing here in a bit

notice that ive chosen the color scheme of pink, black, and white because that suits them and is also the colors in their actual character palettes

ive also picked some things that feel relevant to the ship and its vibes- mandy is associated with daisies, so i got a picture with a girl with a daisy in her eye, which i also paired with a skull with a flower in its eye socket, bringing them together with a common theme. there are also little black shoes and a bloody knee for mandy, a psythe and what could work for cerberus for grim, and since their ship is kind of gruesome and mean spirited (affectionate) as well as the show having pulpy vibes, i got a heart shaped steak, a pulpy romance/horror cover, and an old horror movie card with their VibesTM

Formatting

now that we have our pictures, its time to figure out the formatting! i went ahead and already did that with the pictures above using a site ipiccy, specifically the 'collage' options

ipiccy

once you press 'collage', you'll open up to this menue, where im choosing the 9x9 grid, but as you can see there are other options there if you wanna use them! then you're gonna press 'add images'

then you add images here (mine are already loaded in):

afterwards, you play around with the placement of the images- its okay if they clip or dont properly fit in the box, this is Only figuring out where you want the pictures to go, we'll place them properly later in a different program

when im placing them i like to consider patterns and shapes- top left square is a 'mandy' square, so bottom right should be a 'grim square', as well as echo each other- in this case the flowers in the eyes thing, and so on, even down to the pointy little shoes and the pointy little sythe this part can be v subjective, so i encourage you to play around until it clicks for you

i hope my scribbles kinda help explain visually what i mean:

also as a small personal tip: when i make moodboards i want to capture the feeling of a character/ship/what have you Without just Saying it. because of that i lean more heavily on the pictures themselves and Only ever use One that has text on it. again this is subjective, but to me its a 'telling vs showing' thing and too many words makes the whole thing feel v cluttered with little room for the actual characters involved

once you're satisfied with your placement, take a screenshot to reference your placement, and then we move on to

PS/Photopea, Templates, Adjustments, and PSDs

this is where we get really into it

firstly, i know most people either dont have PS or are nervous about downloading a cracked version (def do not click this because it is def not a link to older ps files you can dl for free) but luckily there's an extremely comprehensive in-browser option that is totally free called Photopea, which can be found HERE

its basically a 1 to 1 rebuild of the real thing, and since its more accessible i'll be using that to finish up my board!

first, you'll wanna throw your template in there, here's the one im using

once you open it, you also need to open the pics you chose to use- i suggest doing this one at a time to not overcrowd the program

once the pic is open, copy it and paste it over onto the moodboard, and then right click the layer and set it to 'clipping mask' which will keep the pic within the bounds of just the template:

then go over the toolbar on the right, press the 'rectangle select', then right click the board and select 'free transform' to move the picture around freely:

now is where you look at the screenshot you took of the ipiccy placement, and then you simply move the picture in the proper place in the moodboard! you might need to select and cut off the part that doesnt fit neatly into the square

continue doing this until you have it all filled out, and take some time to properly fit the pics (for example, the pic with the text needed to be (to does this is photopea drag around the corners while in 'free transform, and if you dont want it to scale at the same dimensions press 'shift' on the keyboard while you drag, which is what i had to do with the text or the flower-in-the-skull to make it fit properly))

its important that All your layers are properly set to clipping mask, otherwise it'll be all messed up! so it should look like like this when you're done, and hopefully everything will be layered on the board properly, and we end up with this:

you could stop here and be done with it, the entire moodboard can be finished now, but i like to tweak things like contrast and value and levels, which are found here in the 'image' section at the top- ive been as tutorial-esque as i can be so far, but this one really comes down to playing around with it and making adjustments until you like the outcome (each layer can be changed individually)

i try to make it so everything feels even- the blacks match and the whites match and none of them feel particularly lighter or darker or more saturated than the others

so we go from this:

to this (if you cant tell the difference i didnt do it well ljksdf, its helped further along and made more obvious by the next step) :

and Finally the secret sauce: PSDs!

these are premade colors/effects that you drop on top of board to help even things out, maybe make some colors Pop

there are a Ton of them free to use on tumblr and deviantart, and Here is a tutorial on how to use them! (its done on mobile but works functionally the same as on desktop)

feel free to make adjustments to the photos more under the psd until it looks right to you

once ive selected and used the psd i wanted, i export it as a png, and this is the result!

i hope this is helpful and not Too confusing, if anybody has any questions let me know and i'll try to help!

[ms-demeanor]

So i do have trouble running anything in my lap, but it is old and very basic but I can't really get a new one, how do i learn how to change its RAM, battery and anything that could make it perform better?

So I actually have a post that's a basic explainer on this kind of stuff, but here's my specific steps for figuring out if your computer can take more RAM, what kind of RAM it takes, and if/how you can install it.

If you're in a hurry or this entire thing looks intimidating, scroll down to the section with the pink text for a quick and dirty way to find what you're looking for that I don't wholly endorse because there are sometimes errors with this process.

This is literally my job, so while this guide won't cover all contingencies it is the basic process that I do every time I need to source upgrades for a computer.

How to Find RAM for your computer:

Step One: Identify the model of your computer. This is usually visible in a sticker with a barcode on the back of the tower or on the bottom of a laptop. If you aren't sure, you can search "how to find model number of [Samsung laptop][HP desktop][etc.]" I'm going to use a Lenovo M710e as my example here, because it was the computer I had to find RAM for yesterday.

So, the ThinkCentre M710e is the product line and the model/product number is 10UR001JUS. The product number gives us the information about the specific configuration of that computer when it was sold, while the product line gives us the general information about configurations that were produced as part of this line. So for example, all M710e desktops will accept the same RAM technology, but the 10UR001JUS specifically came with 2x4GB RAM modules while another line might have come with 1x8GB RAM installed.

GENERALLY SPEAKING it is better for you to work from your product ID/product number/model number and not from the product line.

Step Two: Find out what memory technology your computer uses, what's installed, and what the max your computer will accept is. Most manufacturers will have spec sheets, so if you search the part/product number you will likely see a link from the manufacturer for the specifications of that device. Here's the one for this computer:

So this tells me that the computer has 8GB total memory in 2 modules of DDR4 RAM with a speed of 2400 Mhz. When I am shopping for RAM the important numbers here are DDR4 and 2400. BUT this does not tell me how much RAM the computer can take or what the physical format of that RAM is, so I need to look a little more, which I do by searching "[model number] specifications," which brings me to a Newegg page that has more information about the specs:

This shows me that the computer has 8GB of DDR4 2400 RAM installed in 2 slots. It shows that the computer only has two slots, and it shows me that the maximum RAM for the computer is 32GB. What this means is that if I want to upgrade the RAM I would need to remove a module from at least one of the slots.

RAM tends to come in 4GB, 8GB, 16GB, and 32GB modules. If I wanted to increase the RAM in this computer for the least amount of money possible, I would add one 8GB module, and that would help the computer a lot, taking it from 8GB to 12GB. BUT if I wanted a higher performance for just a little bit more money, I'd replace both 4GB modules with 8GB modules. RAM is happier and works better when the modules in the computer match, so what I'd do is look for 2 8GB modules that are faster than 2400mhz.

Step Three: because I'm me and I was the one who initially ordered this computer five years ago and I have RAM upgrades for this model in my order history, this is where I would stop. But if it was for a computer that I wasn't familiar with, this is where I would check my work. I do this by going to the Crucial Memory tool:

I'd click on "upgrade my computer" and I'd use the "upgrade finder" option.

If you are searching for a RAM upgrade on the computer that you are currently using, you can use the Crucial Scanner tool which will read the specifications of your system and take you to recommended upgrades that Crucial thinks are compatible with your system. I do not 100% endorse doing this, and if you do use this option I recommend checking Crucial's work because I've ordered RAM on Crucial's recommendation in the past and then found that it was incompatible when we went to install.

But, like I said, I use the upgrade finder option. There are a TON of computers listed in this, so once you go through manufacturer (lenovo, in this example) and product line (for crucial, "product line" here means "thinkcentre") I'll use ctrl+F with "M710e" to find the actual product, because scrolling though this bullshit is for chumps:

That takes you to a page with what should be your computer's specs and recommendations for product upgrades:

As I scroll through, looking for 16GB upgrades, I notice that all the RAM listed is 288 pin, which is the correct size for this computer. RAM tends to come in two physical formats for consumers, Desktop RAM and Laptop RAM. Desktop RAM is longer, Laptop RAM is shorter. There are some more complicated layers to that, but what it means is that I need to match the RAM in my search to the format the computer uses.

So let's say that I want to upgrade my computer here and I decide that I want to go with the 3200 speed. So instead of buying from Crucial (which you could do if you wanted to) I decide to shop around. If I search for "16GB DDR4-3200" on Amazon here's what I get:

One of those is 288 pin and will fit in desktops, the other is 260 pin and will fit in laptops or very small form factor desktops. You need to make sure, either by checking the specifications from the manufacturer or on a ram compatibility site or PC part picker, that you are getting the correct physical format in addition to the correct size/technology/speed.

Step Four: Shop around. I prefer not to buy from Amazon when I can help it, and I like seeing what deals I can get. You *do* have the option of clicking "where to buy" on Crucial and there are usually several choices of where to get that specific Crucial part number, but I want to see if there are more generic options, or options from other brands I like.

A newegg search shows me an A-tech 16GB kit with the specs I'm looking for, but at a higher price than Crucial. Poking around a few places doesn't show me any better deals than Crucial, so I go back over to the crucial site, click on "where to buy" for the product I want, and choose to get it from B&H because it's not amazon and I've got an account there.

Step Five: Figure out how to put the RAM inside of your computer. The easiest way to do this is usually to check IFixIt.com, a website designed to show people how to fix their computers.

IFixIt has guides for some types of ThinkCentres but not an M710e. I can check out the M72e, because that's a pretty similar model, but then it turns out the page is a stub. So I search "how to upgrade RAM in Lenovo M710e" and I found the user manual, which has an diagram of the internal parts of the computer, an exploded view of where everything goes, and a section on replacing RAM modules.

Replacing RAM on most desktops is pretty simple, and if you haven't done it and this set of diagrams doesn't give you much information, I really recommend watching some videos from Paul's Hardware that show you how to handle computer components and identify what parts of a computer you're looking at.

Replacing RAM on laptops is usually a bit more complicated than on desktops. But sometimes it's even easier (one of my computers just had a little door on the bottom where you could add RAM if you needed to). Regardless, the principles are the same - there is a slot on the motherboard for you to put RAM in. Watch videos or look at tutorials for how to open up various kinds of computers and see if you're comfortable replicating those steps.

SOME CAVEATS:

Sometimes you can't add or replace RAM. Sometimes RAM is soldered directly on the motherboard. That should be noted somewhere in the manufacturer specifications.

Sometimes computers are more of a pain in the ass to upgrade than they're worth. Most ultra-slim laptops are difficult to get into and most all-in-ones are a *nightmare* to get into. Watch videos of people working on computers similar to yours before you buy anything to figure out if you're even going to be able to get into the damned thing.

On older laptops replacing the battery is very easy, on newer ones it's getting more difficult. Use the same process of identifying your computer model number to look up compatible batteries, then look up how to replace batteries. Sometimes they're just inaccessible and difficult to get at, and sometimes you literally don't even need tools besides your thumbs.

Anyway. That was kind of a lot. I hope it made sense. Check out the linked post at the beginning for tips on performance improvements outside of hardware upgrades, and good luck.

[lizardtakesflight]

As I complained in my post about emailing coworkers, I think the single most difficult aspect of work life is communication. This is especially true for people who struggle with communication in the first place as neurodivergent people. My sister (slash coworker) offhandedly mentioned hearing about something that we now both use at work.

goblin.tools is "a collection of small, simple, single-task tools, mostly designed to help neurodivergent people with tasks they find overwhelming or difficult". It is completely free, works on desktop or mobile, and if you really would like an app for it, it's extremely cheap on the app store.

The Formalizer helps if you're not sure how to word an email. You put in what you're trying to say and it will help you word it the way you want, whether you want it to sound more or less professional, casual, etc.

The Judge is good for both sending and receiving messages. It checks how your own tone comes across or how other people may be trying to communicate from their text.

There's also time-management tools:

Magic Todo helps you break down big tasks into smaller pieces, and Lets you tweak how detailed it gets, too.

The Estimator tries to give you an very rough idea of how long a task may take based on what it is and how stressful you may find it. I haven't used this one yet but I think it might help some people who have time-blindness like I do.

The Compiler is good if you have a basic idea of things you need to do, but you're not sure how to break it all down. Just type out your thoughts and it will use that to make a list.

The Chef is for getting cooking ideas based on the ingredients and tools you have available. I know I tend to get paralyzed by trying to figure out making dinner, so this is great. I've seen apps that can do this but I've not had the best results with them, so I'm going to give this one a try.

If you need instructions for any of them, just click on the question mark at the top of each page. Full disclosure, these tools work based on AI, so your mileage will definitely vary, but so far the Formalizer and Magic Todo have already been a huge help for me.

[kestrel-bee]

I just finished ISAT, and. Wow. I am in shambles after Act 5 holy FRICK

Okay, now that I’m done, time to dump all of my thoughts out at once, because I NEED to talk about this game holy crap

(spoilers abound from this point, don’t read if you are interested in playing for yourself)

(CW for discussing religion-related struggles with sexuality, if that’s something that bugs ya)

Okay, for starters, I just want to talk about how well executed this game is.

The gameplay was interesting and not too hard to understand while still being unique and fun, the illustrations and art style was really cute and charming, the character designs are recognizable yet creative, the writing is entertaining and made me love all of the characters in a very quick fashion, and the story overall was just FANTASTIC.

Literally my only complaint is that i had a tricky time adjusting to how sensitive the controls were when walking. Maybe it works better on desktop, but I was playing on the Steam Deck, and the only other platform I can play on is Mac, which this game does not support.

But honestly this ended up being a nonissue, I figured it out pretty quickly and after an hour or so I had the controls down to pat.

I also love how they handled the concept of a time loop, and the slow descent of Siffrin’s mental downfall. The way he started getting so desperate at the end, clinging to every scrap of hope he could find was heart wrenching.

Act 5 was KILLER, omg, I was so wrecked over it I had to take a break to calm down 😭

It’s not often a piece of media evokes THIS much emotion out of me, holy crud.

To talk about some of the characters,

I LOVE me some found family fluff, and boy oh boy was I fed, they’re so wholesome, they’re all so skrunkly 😭

I loved the little snippets of representation in these characters, with Odile being mixed race and attempting to connect to her roots, and Isabeau’s very trans-coded backstory. And yk, the multitude of gays and lesbians throughout the game XD

Even though that kind of representation doesn’t resonate with me personally, I still like to see it.

But oh man, Mirabelle’s cutscene in Act 3 hit hard. I myself am aroace and religious, and marriage was always something I felt was expected from me.

As I got older and realized that romantic attraction wasn’t really something I feel for people, I tried to convince myself I was attracted to a good friend of mine who had a crush on me, which obviously didn’t work out.

I’ve always had a hard time identifying with womanhood in the way my church has always portrayed it as, so having Mirabelle talk about her faith related struggle with her asexuality and identity was such a comforting representation for me.

Another thing, I can’t tell if it’s intentional or not, but I love how neurodivergent coded they are?

Like, we have Siffrin, kinda touch averse and quiet,

Odile who doesn’t like change and needs her routine alone time to recuperate after every floor,

Mirabelle and Isabeau, the funny noise appreciation squad, the hyper-empathetic duo who would always get over hyped over things together,

And while I can’t think of a specific example for them, Bonnie is always there matching Mirabelle and Isabeau’s energy.

Not to mention the frequent amount of times the latter 3 would repeat each other (echolalia) when saying something fun or happy. (Like the “Pie Smell!” candle).

Do these things on their own make them neurodivergent? No, but the way they’re consistently written like this feels very intentional and I love it.

Anyway, whoof, that was very long, but TLDR: this game was PHENOMENAL, and I will be recommending it to everyone I know