#i just need to avoid some places .
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People are already whining abt the flag on grahams plushie be for real 💀
#ohh it doesnt represent me .. ok plushies arent made to represent you it represents him#plus its being released like. right at the start of pride month . so its def related to that#god forbid people get a cute pride flag with their plushie that represents said character#‘b but what about me im not lgbt’ … take it off?#if you see a pride flag and IMMEDIATELY have an issue with it. thats uh. thats a problem!#graham is lgbt and always has been suck it up .#heres to hoping this will drive out any homophobes who are FOR SOME REASON in this community#ugh i just needed to complain a bit#its so tiring. so exhausting . im tired of ppl complaining abt how lgbt people express themselves#this isnt just an issue with the plushie this is a general thing#ESPECIALLY approaching pride month. this always happens#theres a SPIKE in homophobia bc theyre desperately trying to silence us#i just want to enjoy pride month but its so hard to bc homophobes get so much louder .#and it ends up just being. exhausting. anyway#heres to a hopefully happy pride month this year .#i just need to avoid some places .
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confused. are the screeners out or not? reports conflict.
because if so, journalistic integrity is kinda dogshit for some folks? did social media on this topic just become unusable for the next FOUR WEEKS while people in the know make reveals like the character spoiler today?
#c’mon i’m okay with low-key spoilers but we have 4 whole ass weeks ahead of us ppl#and i resent like hell that i’ll have to avoid the entire? iwtv tag? to stay unspoiled for potentially major shit bc damn#the lead-up is a big part of the fun?#kitten daddy’s going to be real with you he NEEDS THE SEROTONIN HIT from the deranged vampires bc he is going through The Horrors rn#like point me to the place on the internet where i can celebrate the promos and press and fic and art and interviews without#someone slapping me in the face with their knowledge bomb dick#i was not emotionally prepared for AprilMay to be that weird liminal space where#people like that one person who was perhaps struggling with some mental health issues vowed to the fandom she filmed her character marrying#ldl in s2#and you have to play a tiresome game of guessing if you’re dealing with troll fever dreams or leaked information neither of which you want#you just want your daily dose of the deranged vampires#i mean if you’re cool with screener spoilers and you’re tagging accordingly god bless but#not everyone’s using the Haha This Is A Screener Spoiler tag#and i’m already tired
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New OC time, and for every person to call him an animal Wrau adds another tally to his shit list-
Ough fuck my hand broke
#wrau#vulpimancer#oc#ben 10 oc#ben 10#fanart#it was a very interesting challenge to make wrau look pissed without eyes but i couldn’t use human standards#i looked at angry dogs to reference a more canindea face to snarl with- especially since adult vulpimancers (outside of ben 10k) go lipless#(or perhaps are a particular clade but i like the lipless look)#i hope he looks pissed enough he’s going to beat the shit out of you#it’s hard to come up with alien names when literally all vulpimancer characters are unnamed save for hero titles#so i decided to based wrau’s name off of a transliterated text of the sound that his name is#(by looking up what ‘woof’ is in different languages and just mixing and matching consonants and vowels)#on vulpin he goes solo and just fucks around in the numerad of intergalactic junk piles#real nasty places that tend to be avoided because sharp twisted metal and obscured vision does not mix well#that and the obvious ‘there is nothing of value here’ plants don’t grow here animals don’t graze here there is nothing to live off of#vulpinic tortugans have been here a while and have done some stuff with engineering and mechanics but not as good as the tortugan settlers#who were the ones who got stuck on vulpin in the FIRST PLACE#so while vulpimancers don’t desire nor feel the need to develop technology as a whole they’re apex predators already#(no i will not be debating their predator status- considering their teeth they have a varied diet if not a generalist species)#wrau wants to flip the bird to everyone else in the universe that turned his country into a landfill and forced his folk out of their land#they already gotta share with the weirdly hot mini towns of the tortugan who still have their eyes in the pitchblack planet#as a note: wrau is a weirdo and weirdo vulpimancers who metaphorically look to the stars are really just out to prove something#it’s just that wrau specifically is anger incarnate even to the baseline irritation of interplanetary vulpimancers#who feel the universal perspective of vulpin in its entirety weigh on their shoulders and only their own#as even vulpinic tortugan cannot speak for them for they are a descendent species of the KNOWN tortugan noted for old planetary colonisation#yeet that’s a tag ramble an d i have no idea how cohesive that is yeet
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hmmmm i may be back. tentatively
#i still have a ton of stuff to do irl ahah but also i miss being here i miss my moots.....#i will still try to avoid being here too much until like early to mid may but i can. hang out and put some stuff in the queue at least#anywayyyy whats up did i miss anything super important!!!#i also deleted my ig so that's one time-consuming social media account gone. yay <3#fr i hate that place its just 90% ads n recommended content#el.txt#also i've been playing a ton of sdv during my break. so much that it's gotten in the way of all the irl work i need to do#so its not like this site is the issue. i will always find a way to avoid the assignments that have been piling up since last fall !!
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idk. i feel like since there's 0 easily accessible, free, genuine help for people with severe self-harming tendencies it makes sense that people turn to online self-harming communities? honestly most of the self-harm prevention stuff i see on here or on tiktok or in health class or whatever doesn't actually apply to people who severely injure themselves (yeah yeah all self harm is severe i mean to the degree which people are physically hurting themselves)/are addicted/have been doing it for years... so i think immediately discrediting these communities as being "pro" self harm is a) just incorrect and b) ignores the fact that these spaces are some of the only places severe self harmers can find community/support and advice on wound care.
#i dont think that they should exist on platforms w an algorithim (like tiktok) bc unwilling ppl could see it#but i dont think they're inherently bad#some people including myself will just never ask for help or go to the er even when it's super bad so there#needs to be places where you can find wound care and learn what specific areas to avoid so you dont kys#tw self harm
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alright that’s enough of that. you’re destroying my door jams.
@whumpasaurus101
#yeah time to pick up hampster bawl.#hyperfixating on this style of lighting rn 0.0#whump art#tiny whump#tiny whumpee#my tiny frog son#lee#akias art#lil lee is still tryna RUN FURUOUSLY IN PLACE— THINKING ITLL ESCAPE HANDS#AAA this is me procrastinating on working on my procrastination wip to procrastinate from working on the real wip and—#we’re like 3 levels of ProcrastiCeption deep at this point#I need to take a shower and wash off all my bulshit#time to blast gucci flip flops on loop to avoid depression in favor or LITTY AT ALL TIMES#much to the begrudgementte of my neighbors#hampster bawl#that’s right we’re back on HB POSTING#tiny boy baby tiny eheheeheeehe#so smol#this started as ‘it’s just gonna be a quick sketch’ hence the messy lineart but then oh now we need to do color now lighting oh ok can I#can I get some anti-adhd juice PLEASE#plsssss#my post#my art
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people who are afraid of the pets they own are so crazy to me like why are you doing that to yourself 😭
#‘oh i can’t pet them they bite’#either the animal is so stressed out they can’t be fixed#and should probably either be put down or rehomed to a place more accommodating#or they need medication#or training#why… not try some of these options#instead of just like… avoiding a living being in your house
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It's lovely when I read a book and some random paragraph in it hits me in the face like a train at mach speed
#◜✧ . ❪ muse. tobias. ❫#ask to tag#Before this I was catching up with the Doctors are Out webtoon too and atm it's an arc where an abuser#got back to his victim bc he and the authorities dgaf about upholding his restraining order like bro I GET it. I get it. I KNOW#Tobias showing up like that one surprise 'heyyy' girl meme gif bc he's the solution (<- getting rid of them Permanently): >:)#No matter where I look this guy manages to weasel his way in. I cannot escape#Now I'm thinking about how Wammy's orphans have such different perspectives on what they should do and what justice means...#to some of them (ex Near) it means catching sb legally by mostly lawful means and yeeting them into prison#to others (ex Mello) it means catching sb by any means necessary but still trying his best to avoid murder#and then to others (ex Tobias) murdering these people who he knows will escape sooner or later anyway is justice in itself#You try to put Wammy orphans down at a table to come to a collective agreement on how they should operate and they simply Cannot#Watari mildly fucked up when he made them ALL headstrong and under the belief that they're always the right one in the room#I bet any of them comes up w a cohesive plan and there's sb in the room IMMEDIATELY pointing out why that plan isn't it 😭#Obviously they'd still synch with each other if need be (ex Mello & Near) but forbid they work TOGETHER together as more than ~2 people#Tobias and Near would be such a funny duo esp. bc Near sees people resorting to murder as wrong and disgusting no matter if it's valid#meanwhile Tobias sees lawful justice as nothing but a farce because 99% of the time it does nothing besides giving a momentary#ego boost to the person who caught the criminal. and then beyond that it's no longer their business if the criminal escapes or not#but it IS very much everyone else's business; and why many live in terror daily wondering if their nightmare will return tomorrow#to be fair Tobias couldn't care less about their feelings 99% of the time either but Watari DID teach him to enact justice. and to him#getting rid of the root of the problem rather than locking it up IS justice. He perceives the problems from much closer than#other Wammy orphans ever have. He's RIGHT THERE in the middle of it whereas they're in some safe place far away from the victims#plus their backgrounds are far too different from his own to reach a consensus too... you can't make him believe prison = justice#just as you can't make them believe murder = justice. But I do think people would prefer Tobias' approach far more than idk Near's#again it's not like Tobias cares about how he's perceived by the people he saves! (or if he's even perceived at all) but I can imagine#going to sleep knowing the person/people/group/etc having it out for you no longer exists is a much more heartening sentiment than#hearing they've been sent to prison; from where they can send sb else after you or from where they can escape in due time
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they make me so
#tm#the way she immediately goes along with him there's no hesitation and then she immediately puts them in the same boat i want to scream#because there's a way to read this that it's actually too much faith; she trusts him and his methods - weird though they usually are -#maybe too much - the 'one day i'm gonna get fired because of you; that's just how it is' route#(which is like that excellent tag i saw - that lisbon's 'a rebel with the trauma of having to be responsible' -#like she likes breaking the rules and jane breaks them in fun ways (usually) and his rule-breaking gets results#- the 'people might ask why you signed on with me in the first place' bit alsosheskindofinlovewithhimnbd)#but on the other hand there is a bit of 'such little faith' too because yes he gets results but she knows firsthand (and repeatedly)#that he runs the risk of hurting - himself; others; her - while he gets those results#and she's putting them in the same boat she's making them equally responsible for anything that happens#*unequally actually she'd take the brunt of any punishment/backlash as they both know#and you COULD (and i do) see that as her trying (maybe unconsciously) to temper him; to pull him back from going TOO far#whatever you're doing you're not doing alone; remember this is on me now too don't go too far#CAN'T YOU SEE THERE'S PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT YOU; WHO NEED YOU#and like does the tempering always work? no; obviously; for multiple reasons#but for her to - on whatever level - think that she would be enough FOR it to work? much to think about#(it's crazy how it's so clear that on some level they both know she's the most important person to him#but they're also just....tucking that fact away until a moment comes when they can actually think fully about what it means#(which would have to be post red john but also they're just avoidant bitches too afraid to look too close i love it)#anyway i'm back at work so i'm back to thinking too much about tv shows that ended 8 years ago it's so cool and stable#(also rigsby just going along with it too lkfasdj i just adore them)#FUCK THE END OF THE EPISODE BARK BARK I FEEL CRAZY#TERESA LISBON YOU'RE SO IMPORTANT TO ME LIKE SHIT
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More and more i feel like taking a hardline stance that unless there is reasonable evidence a user is a danger to others i will simply block/unfollow/avoid and generally deal with things privately wherever possible is best for everyones safety my own included
#not about recent events as such im just generally thinking about how easy it is for shit to be weaponised as a means of public humiliation#but also i think the best thing for me mentally is to avoid certain topics in any context#the ways in which people call out certain things are just as stressful as the thing itself because ultimately the impact is the same#<- the impact being it stirs up a lot of stress and dread and puts me in a place where im a lot more prone to thoughtspiralling#some things i can really only handle in very careful conversations#and idk i think i need to be more serious about preventing myself from getting to that point where i am more vulnerable to spiralling#this is very vague because i genuinely really struggle to even name the specific things that trigger me#to be clear though this isnt about bigotry or general cruelty
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do you ever write out a post and then remember the reading comprehension on this site is abysmal and you can practically feel the potential shitty comments and think "actually no this isn't worth it"
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#vent post#there are these posts about accessibility and tone tags and the way people use trigger warnings on discord and stuff like that#and one of them is like ''the way people spoiler triggers on discord is wrong and doesn't actually help and you shouldn't do it like that''#and it's been like. the exact form of warning that worked for us when the ''correct'' way wouldn't have actually helped at all#I haven't seen the posts in a while but I've seen some of them multiple times before and they always piss me off#and I just fucking want people to realise that people have different access needs#yes that format of warning or tone tag or whatever might not work for you but your experiences aren't universal#and it'd be shitty for me to say that formatting it in a way that works for you is wrong just because it doesn't work for me#but that fucking goes both ways#but I just know if I actually posted the very carefully worded post I typed up about it someone would take it in the worst possible faith#''don't spoiler the word in the warning and don't only spoiler that word and none of the rest of the text''#what if the word itself is the fucking trigger. what if I need you to leave the rest of the text unspoilered so I can figure out what it is#without actually having to see the word because I can back out and avoid a panic attack as long as I don't see the word itself#this isn't even a hypothetical this is something we had to deal with last year#and discord servers with that specific format were the only places we could guarantee we'd be able to avoid being triggered by it
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back when i first read a neon darkness i became crazed and knew i had to make a playlist for damien. i've liked damien since the bright sessions for a reason i cant even properly verbalize or even understand because ive never been someone who likes antagonists very much. robbie just has this self-destructive loneliness that i want to study under a microscope
highlights are small red boy, from which the mix is named, as well as crack baby, sleep, and sunrise, sunset.
#the bright sessions#a neon darkness#damien gorham#robert gorham#tbs#fanmix#looking at this again im shocked at how many repeated artists i used......... i usually try to avoid that but i guess hes just a ajj boy#i still need to read some faraway place sowwy..
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hans zatzka (1859 - 1945), interior with a lightly dressed woman and a lute player, at the swan lake, fairy dance // seventeen, circles (2022)
#hans zatzka#seventeen#svt#circles#mine mine mine#kpopxart#art#finally found the art pieces to combine w the lyrics that made me want to start this blog in the first place!!!#i watched that dingo video when it came out and i couldnt stop thinking of circles ever since#ive basically memorised the meaning of the lyrics now#i think this will forever be one of those songs that will make my heart feel warm and my hands tingle with a need to hold someone else's#producer!woozi is really good at making that type of songs#anyway some fun facts about hans zatzka i learned a long the way:#he would paint a lot of religious pieces#but hes mostly remembered for his fairylike and magical scenery/settings#he'd get inspiration from wagner and just create the gorgeeeeous and dreamy paintings#AND lastly my dude has like 6 pseudonyms or so because he was like under some contracts that restricted the amount of paitnings he could#produce and sell#and so to avoid the penalties he just stuck a moustache on his face and maybe even added a hat and said huh zatzka? idk him#im just another guy who is VERY good at painting fairies and fantastical beasts#so far the art history lesson in my tags
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not me importing my anti-air defense worldbuilding h/cs into ishgard bc I can
#saint.txt#long post#ishgardposting#tl;dr in my personal project one of the big things is that (one) military has had to evolve alongside gryphon riders for a long long time#who's biggest threat are information gathering and the fact they drop flechettes and are nigh-untouchable by anything even each other#even with firearms (which are still very early tech-wise) so anti-air defense is paramount#the biggest results being that *everything* has a roof on it to mitigate stuff falling from the sky.#cities are cramped and avoid open space as much as possible. anti-bird spikes but scaled up on steep roofs so that birds can't land.#buildings are made of non-flammable material like stone when possible. open areas exist mostly as corral zones so that tired birds#must land there and can be easily surrounded on the ground.#but the flashiest is killwire which is basically just wire strung between tall buildings that discourages flight below a certain level#and is difficult to see especially at speed or at night#and if you hit it. well. the idea is based off motorcycle accidents where people have hit wire fences on farms so I'm sure you get the idea#not all of it will apply to Ish.gard but I highly believe that's exactly why Ish.gard is 98% built out of stone#as are all their forts and important structures like bridges. I also believe realistically most streets should be roofed if possible#and open space is kept at a minimum even if daniffen's ward exists. anti-dragon spikes consisting of slots to put lances in on roofs.#Ish.gard might not even have much of a need for 'traditional' forts with huge walls and such bc 90% of their enemies fly so their fort#designs might get a little wild after 1000 years of war. w/ magitek via stephva.nivien you might even electrify the killwire.#ofc some of it already seems to exist - ish.gard's roofs and spires are built *very* steep which would make a dravanian landing on them#difficult and even without that most of them are covered in spires and spikes anyway but. ofc there's the dragonkillers and such too but#ish.gard is a city built on 1000 years of war and hyperspecialized to fighting dragons that fly we really could make it look like that too.#I want to walk into ishgard and immediately know this is a place built on war bc everything about it is hyperspecialized and utilitarian#to fulfill that purpose. look up in ishgard and the stars are replaced with glittering wire.
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Bro no joke, forgetting that not everyone hates capitalism and then having to try have a reasonable conversation with someone about buying things... *eye twitch*
#to explain we will have person A - person B and then me#so person B is asking me if its ok to buy stuff from ebay - because i am a person that tries to avoid buying from amazon etc#and im like yeah should be because its independent sellers mostly - to be fair though yall. i barely buy anything online because i hate#online shopping. i try to buy things in person instead#anyways insert person A whos like 👁👄👁 oH aRe YoU oNe Of ThOse PeOpLE ThAt DoESNt pUrCHasE frOm AmAzON#yall im sighing just thinking about this conversation omfg its so stupid#anyways queue me explaining that yeah. i try to avoid it if i can because i dont like my money going to some motherfucker who doesnt need#the money (person B pipes in that jeff bezos is on the way to becoming a trillionaire which is Not Good 🙃 . thank you B now i will go on)#A then goes on to explain all the benefits to amazon “what if you want something the next day” i ask if theres really anything you truly#need right away like that. we used to live in times where you would have to wait or find it in a shop. A says “oh but its so cool and#convenient“ and i say sure. because they have the money and grew their business of being more 'convenient' than other businesses#A says “oh but the customer service is so good. if i want a return theyll do it straight away with no questions and maybe even give me#credit too“ and im like yeah. because they can afford to do that. ”sometimes independent sellers are in there too“ ok so buy from them then#If You Must but i can guarantee you mostly dont. not to mentuon theyre probably only on there in the first place because amazon has made it#so its one of the most popular places to use instead of anywhere else#and it went on. i just stopped talking eventually because it eas one of those situations where the other person was not fucking listening to#the point i was trying to make. which is that if you really have to. ok do it whatever. i get that its a bit impossible to avoid sometimes#im not gonna sit here and pretend when ive not been able to get something anywhere else i havent got it from there. but the point is to#actually think about WHY youre buying stuff and WHO the money is going to. because websites like amazon especially have created such a trend#of overconsumption. that you just buy stuff and then buy prime because oh its so cheap and useful and comes right the next day! and you dont#consider why any of these things are true. whos getting fucked over in the process. that you are one of the people getting fucked over!!!#lord i could go on but i shant#point is. genuinely do what you want like deep down i do not care it does not affect me and i know its not so straightforward#but people who just BLATANTLY and actively SUPPORT rich people (forgot to mention A kept talking about how the whole site was smart and that#Jeff was a genius blah blah) can you sit and realise that this whole system and that FUCKING Imbecile of a man are!!¡! a problem!!#i wish i could articulate it better but im leaving it at that#good morning yall xD#le text post
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I've wasted four years of my life man.
#I know that it's not my fault. that my plans were scuttled by covid. but there's something so painful that my biggest achievement#this entire time is that I have my own room.#and I don't even have all the proper furniture in it either!#I don't have access to any place to put my clothes because either the drawers are inaccessible#and the only person who can move the stuff so it is accessible has since decided that watching ncis is a better pasttime#like man I get it the adhd inability to start things runs strong in this family but when you get upset at me for not doing anything.#just fucking entirely stopped communicating and the avoidant behaviour too#and I can't access my wardrobe properly because I need the space to move furniture about and I don't have that because all my stuff's#in boxes still and I can't put that somewhere else until I have my drawers#this is the last year I can get my shit together before I seriously will just. vanish into dust#and we're only nine days in and i want to off myself#things were better in 2018 and 2019 when I was waiting and imagining what freedom would be like#instead I got chained back because 'oh we love you!' no you don't. well maybe some of you do#but I'm a convenient inconvenience.
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