#but also i think the best thing for me mentally is to avoid certain topics in any context

[gothmods]

More and more i feel like taking a hardline stance that unless there is reasonable evidence a user is a danger to others i will simply block/unfollow/avoid and generally deal with things privately wherever possible is best for everyones safety my own included

[bunnyswritings]

ur blog is soo helpful !!!! ive been looking into writing more lately and this is like a godsend <3 i was wondering if u could do some starter tips?? like stuff to avoid as a new writer :o ps. hope ur having a wonderful week!!!

ahhh, hello!! this is such a sweet message, and thank you, i hope you have a fruitful week ahead too ♡ i'm so glad you're writing more lately- i'll def do my best to provide some starter tips (though i'm really also a starter myself 😅 so i hope you like these, and feel free to let me know what you think!) also, just to put it out there that these are what i found helpful personally / what i think will be helpful, and may / may not resonate with everyone. Also, this topic is soooo broad and there are a million things that can be covered, but for now I'll just keep it short and go with stuff to avoid (or rather, approach differently) as per request. if you / anyone else would like another post for more specific writing tips, feel free to drop it in my ask box!

Some general writing tips — stuff to avoid; little things to not overdo

over-planning

overusing fancy vocabulary

over-describing

over-criticising your work

over-comparing

more details under the cut!

Over-planning — plan the general outline, direction of your plot, message of your story, characters and their rough personalities; yes, do all that well! good planning makes for a good story, but i think it's helpful to remember that sometimes things don't pan out the way we envision them to. and it's important to let certain things go, appropriately of course. if your initial storyline doesn't quite fit the characterisation of the protagonist etc (and vice versa), then perhaps it's time to rethink things — and NOT be too hard-up about it. [tldr: be flexible!]

Overusing bombastic vocabulary — i'm sure you've come across millions of writing advice pieces that aim to spruce up your vocabulary with bombastic phrases. by all means go ahead and pick a few that fit the mood and style of your writing. otherwise, i'd say that sometimes, less is more. throwing in fancy words for the sake of it may not be as helpful as you think. there should be a fine balance between using words that add flavour + help to illustrate nuances and using words to make your piece seem complex. simplicity goes a long way, as i've learnt. but having said that, building up a solid repertoire of vocabulary / good phrases is always helpful, the key thing is using those phrases in the right context. definitely easier said than done, so i suggest reading your favourite author's works couple of times through and pick up their way of using language to their advantage.

Over-describing — narration, descriptive language are great, and can really help to nudge your story in the right direction. it helps set the scene, the mood, and all these are critical in writing... BUT! not the same can be applied to describing actions. not every single action has to be written out explicitly — an example: she walks over to the kitchen, turns around, and opens the refrigerator. she then takes out a canned drink, and places the drink on the countertop... etc — you get the point. some things can be left implied, rather than explicit.

Over-criticising your work — ahh, the age-old piece of advice. i do it all the time, and you probably do too... sometimes, being harsh on yourself and on your work may seem like the only way to better yourself and push your limits, but often times, i personally find that this is counter-productive both on the physical and mental front. it wears you down, it is a nidus for dejection and negative vibes. i think the way i try to get round this is by taking pride in my own work; telling myself that 'this is something i wrote, these are my ideas put into prose, these are my thoughts written on paper'. the caveat here is that avoiding being over-critical of your work DOES NOT and should not mean avoiding proofreading. proofreading is extremely crucial to check for grammatical and structural errors (i recommend doing it once or twice yourself, and if possible, getting a fresh pair of eyes to do the same).

Over-comparing — this ties in nicely with the previous point. take pride in your work! this is something original from you and you only, written in your unique style. having authors/writers whom you look up to is essential in moulding your writing style and habits, but should not be the sole focus when you write. remember that every writer is different, every piece of writing is different; this goes even for pieces with similar plots / tropes / character personalities. nuances, subtleties and underlying messages can come through very differently when written by different people. after all, our life journeys are all personal, which is a factor influencing the way we convey messages across through the written word.

and... that's it for now! i really hope that this helps. honestly, i'm scratching the surface here, and there are lots more i can talk about when i have more braincells >_<

feel free to drop any other requests or questions in my ask if you'd like ♡

[mushigima]

Ghost headcanons because I love me a mysterious masked man

König headcanons can be found here.

-> a very literal man. A lot of people around him might think he’s a mystery but they’re just blinded by the mask - if you actually interact with him on a daily basis you’ll quickly find out that he’s very straightforward and transparent at and off work.

-> also starting off strong with the fact that I believe he’s generally not a jealous person, not even in a relationship. I do think he has his insecurities and he def gets in his sappy moods once in a while but generally knows that yearning for things he has no influence on is very contra productive. Tries his best to always stay in the moment and to not get into his head too much (because he usually does).

-> But on the other hand I can see him being a tat…possessive... Being possessive doesn’t translate into him being very emotionally reactive about it tho. Makes sure that his fears of losing what’s ‘his’ stay fears and realizes them as purely imagined. Again, I think he knows very well that he’s an avoidant person. However, if he gets insecure and therefore struggles with possessiveness, it starts with a flicker and then a spark: usually hes good at catching it. It won’t start a fire within him. But if it does he’s getting into his head, being suspicious. Will translate into on and off behavior or him being more closed off at worst.

-> 100% clenches his jaws at night. Ghost is a certified neurotic, change my mind. Integrates specific rituals to sort out his mind in his routine if it’s possible (are all of these so called rituals healthy?? Not so much but as long as it keeps the thoughts into place he’s fine with it). Has tried out certain fidget toys like those small fidget cubes and has kept them near his bedside table or in his pockets from once in a while.

-> This one is a bit goofy but I can see him being the type to snore so loud the whole house will wake up when he’s drunk and passes out.

-> Also the type to push his body beyond belief and proves the hypothesis that under adrenaline humans are more capable of what we think of. Will rase the bar constantly and earns a lot of admiration for his dedication.

-> Actually really enjoys reading. Mystery, thriller, but also folklore and philosophy books. Could also listen to a few ‘work and grind’ podcasts or audiobooks when he feels his mental health and stress levels are kicking lmao but generally finds comfort in the dark and mysterious. Definitely has studied stoicism at one point in his life but knows that his temper gets the best of him.

-> Listens to ambience music and rain sounds, also uses them to help him fall asleep when insomnia is hitting hard.

-> If he ever catches genuine interest for something its becoming a niche/special interest he’ll be very particular about. Really enjoys learning and doing research until having a good grasp of the topic/skill. This might also be due to him being just a liiiiittle bit competitive.

-> That being said if he’s not doing his job he’s actually the curious type but is just very good at not acting out on impulses. If he feels save he would roam around a store for a while and look at every object, but the military (and life to an extent too) kinda excorcised the ‘child-like’ qualities out of him. If you’re lucky you see them possess this 6’4 man once in a while and he’ll be gone, lost in his thoughts thinking about this and that, observing nick-nacks like a crow that found a shiny silver spoon lol.

-> Deep, deep down is veeeery sentimental. Has no pictures in his apartment except for a box with a few pics of the boys and him underneath his bed. Reminds him of things he deems as important. Would keep one special item of yours at his place that he keeps looking at once in a while.

-> Don’t look at me but I believe this man has a wide knowledge of birds. Is very fond of them. A nerd and not ashamed of it (but no one really knows, except for soap maybe). Used to spend his time watching birds as a child, still enjoys looking at them when he’s out on a mission and has a bit of free time. Is actually comforted by their presence. He’s equally amused by their funny nature, impressed by their intelligence and also very emo about the fact that he was jealous of their ability to be free and go wherever when he was younger.

-> He’s a silent learner. Learns by observing. Especially people. He could notice that you might have some sort underlying communication issue that affects your dynamic and weeks later he comes back from the shadows and is actually tending towards your needs. Things just run smoother now and you wonder why. Will absolutely not change character and personality for you or bend himself in every direction to please someone, but is quiet aware of his own short comings. He also likes to solve problems before things escalate. He might also be a liiittle bit of a control freak.

-> That being said he is very stubborn if he wants to change and work on himself or not. If he’s comfortable sitting in his own misery because it hasn’t negatively effected his life so far why should he? His red flag is thinking that having intimate connections with people can exist without him getting changed by them in the slightest. Commitmophobe tendencies are triggered by the consequences of genuine intimacy.

-> he’s either a Capricorn, Sagittarius or Scorpio change my mind!!!!! (you can’t)

-> Yes, he is indeed a cuddly person!!! I will die on this hill, it only really shows when time and place is appropriate and he will be subtle about it but will start mewling when you hold him and stroke his back gently, intertwine your fingers and make sure to lock your legs around his!!!! Loves becoming a human pretzel with you when he has time to relax fully, but especially when you’re about to go to bed. He’s also a big fan of you laying on top of him, will start holding you or caressing you right away. He does it all the time, absentminded. Reads a book? One hand is in your hair, combing softly through it. You’re waiting in line at the grocery store?? At first you didn’t notice but his hand found yours and now his thumb is tracing circles on your hand. Def very subtle in public but enough to let you taste his sweet affection once in a while.

-> This one is one of my favs but he’s a dude that’s not getting embarrassed. Not only because most things are simply normal but because he doesn’t care. He has to make sure none of his team mates die at work you think he cares about dirty kitchen dishes?????? A pimple?????? A burp or fart?????? You must be joking if you’d think he’d waste his time thinking about these meaningless things when existential dread is all that fills up his mind.

-> Enjoys playing card games. It takes him a while to get warm but he is keen on winning. But almost always looses in the last round coming out second. Enjoys the fact that it’s a team activity the most.

[tinyladofladdies]

welcome to tinyladofladdie's ! blog . . 𖦹°‧★🐚

about this page . . ˙✧˖° 🫧 ⋆｡˚꩜ :

i felt compelled to make a blog centered around sharing ✞the Gospel of Jesus Christ✞ on tumblr. the internet and technology oftentimes tend to be the source of a lot of evil and secular living, but i believe that for modern-day Christians, with a sudden inability to avoid technology in most spaces, if we are going to use social media, we can add a lot to the internet space to glorify God in the way we present ourselves online.

i want my page to be a safe space to share the Gospel, share testimonies, talk about Christian issues as well as how to navigate modern topics as a Christian, ask questions, and seek help 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 ( keep in mind, i am no mental health professional nor pastor. if you are facing a serious crisis, i will pray for you and do my best to help you with biblical advice, but i would highly recommend seeking immediate sources of help if something is more troubling than any help i can provide. )

🌊☆⋆｡🪼 if you’re a Christian and want to participate in this blog by testifying of God’s goodness, sharing advice, answering questions, or just interacting, feel free to stick around! please remember to operate through God’s grace and truth and represent Christ well as you interact with this blog. 𓆉︎ ࿔*

𓇼🧉❀🐚 if you’re a non-believer and find my page interesting, or a non-believer interested in asking questions / finding information (whether for the sake of skepticism or for the sake of seeking salvation), you’re also welcome to stick around! you’re so loved here regardless <3

𓆝 ⋆｡𖦹°‧🫧 heed . . while this page may eventually contain topics that are controversial at times, i believe there is a difference between conversation and argument. all people are welcome to exercise their opinions, questions, etc., but the last thing i want is for this page to become a place of toxicity or for anyone to feel mentally drained after a conversation. arguing for the sake of insulting or bringing anyone down, asking questions in bad faith with the intent to trap, mock, etc., are not what this page is for. disagreeing in a conversation is normal and not discouraged! starting an argument for the sake of bringing toxicity to my page is not welcomed or encouraged (see below for more details on how to interact with this blog!)

🌊☆⋆｡🪼𖦹°‧★ how to interact . . ˙✧˖° 🫧 ⋆｡˚꩜

｡ﾟﾉ 🪸🪼`◌ some ways that i encourage anyone to interact: come as you are, share what’s on your mind regarding the topics spotlighted on this page, ask questions, share your perspectives, seek safe space, reassurance, or advice. <3

Ꮺ °˳◌🫧`˳ how not to interact: trolling, bad faith “questions,” only entering or starting a conversation on this page for the sake of disrespecting Christianity (vs. asking a genuine question and simply disagreeing on a topic), insulting others, anything along these lines.

while i understand that the culture of today commonly uses certain phrases that many don’t think twice about, i respectfully ask that whether you are Christian or not, you do not in any way use the Lord’s Name in vain when commenting, asking, or submitting on my page. any blasphemy or disrespectful remarks about God will be removed & blocked. thank you.

◌🌊🐚Ꮚ°˳´ about me !

๋Ꮺ🗯️ you can call me scotty or little lad! the former is not my real name and the latter obviously isn’t, but both are alias’ i would like to be addressed as here on my tumblr. i commonly use little lad or something along those lines as an online username, and that phrase reminds me of scotland, which is part of my heritage and scottish gaelic is a language i am currently attempting to learn, hence where “scotty” came from.

˖°𓇼🌊⋆🐚 i am a ✞follower of Christ✞, currently attending and serving a non-denominational Christian church in socal. i am an 18 year old girl and still a senior in highschool as of now (graduating soon!). some of interests of mine include: learning about history, theology, and religion as a whole, marine biology & chem, music/choir, certain video games, TV shows, and movies [franchises], the ocean & sharks !! i have many miscellaneous interests and things i eek ! over, so honestly either ask more if ya want or wait to unlock the lore as i casually show how much i love some random small thing online from time to time. i love making friends so please don’t ever feel intimidated to interact with my blog simply for friendship purposes!

˚˖𓍢ִִ໋🌊🦈 if you’re ever interested in learning about my viewpoints on specific theological topics, feel free to ask in the ask box or in a comment or message! theology, Christianity, and religion as a whole is such a complex topic that i cannot list every in-and-out of what i believe regarding church history, theology, etc. however, one other label i would give myself is “Bible-believing Christian,” on all topics of all time periods, what God defines as right and wrong remains regardless of culture or personal feelings!

◌🌊🐚Ꮚ°˳´ some other resources:

what is the Gospel? ✞

my testimony ✞

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝

｡ﾟ 🪸🪼 creds!

copy & paste symbols: xiaosworld & moontslight

dividers: roseraris

[pristinekanesays]

 🦋 Life Is Strange: Mental Health Headcanons

 🦋 warnings: heavy topics, mentions of psychical and verbal abuse, mentions of mental illness, kate's suicide attempt, a gif of warren beating the shit out of nathan which is funny to me, mentions of my literal enemy mark jefferson

 🎧 A/N: I was feeling a little silly, goofy even. This idea popped into my head as I was writing some relationship headcanons but I decided to write this instead, the relationship headcanons will be out later today though probably or tomorrow. ツ (this took like 9 hours)

 🦋 Chloe Price:

  💾 An attachment to Rachel who turned out to be just really only leading her on and giving her false hope, a dead father who she keeps seeing in her brutal nightmares, an abusive stepfather who we see hit her after a certain choice and has probably hit her before on several occasions, a mother who rarely takes her side and a best friend that's dipped only to come back and not tell her.

   📼Her emotions can change in a split second from 0% to 100% almost immediately, she's seen smoking which she probably uses to drift away from reality and ease the way she feels.

  📝I think that from research and playing the game that Chloe has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), from her trust and abandonment issues, being unable to take control of her emotions and the meltdown she had in Chaos Theory.

  🍂Kate Marsh:

 💾 Kate is so deeply traumatized by what Nathan did to her, drugging her and promising that he'll take her to a hospital (he lied to her, he's an asshole). Only for Victoria to spread a video of her kissing complete strangers for the whole school, town and her extremely religious family to see.

  📼Her room is unclean and messy, things are spread across the floor including books and clothes, when she's at her desk she looks noticeably tired with red, puffy eyes from crying. Inside her room, it's dark and her mirror is covered up (afraid to look at herself, i think she's beautiful by the way.) When she's on the roof threatening to jump, she's correct that we don't know her mother but she apparently thinks that Kate is already on her way to hell.

 📝I think from how her behaviour is in the game that she has Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) & Depression.

 📷 Max Caulfield:

 💾 She's gone through hell and back, watching her best friend get shot and finding out that she has literal powers that can rewind time. Then having to rewind and save Kate's life, rewinding to stop Victoria from going to Mark Jefferson and ending up in the dark room, saving Chloe from getting killed by a train and shot by Mark, finding Rachel's dead body and ending up in the dark room herself.

  📼Max seems to be pretty socially awkward and just focuses on photography entirely, she probably struggles making friends and communicating with others.

  📝I think that Max has Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD), from her tending to avoid certain social decisions and her problems communicating with other people. Also, she could possibly have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) after the Life Is Strange events take place, from her time in the dark room and constantly having to rewind and save Chloe's life.

 🎭Rachel Amber:

 💾 Rachel sort of has to have everyone's eyes on her, you know? The popular girl that everyone knows, especially after she goes missing. Finding out that her dad's cheating on her mom, who turns out to actually not be her biological mother, that shit would fuck with anyone's head.

  📼She's described as a huge flirt from the way she acts with Frank and Chloe but she's leading them both on at the same time, putting a huge strain on both of their relationships. Chloe's convinced that Frank is a huge creep (a little) especially since he has her bracelet but Chloe refuses to believe that Rachel would have did that to her. (going behind her back, lying to her.)

 📝Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD), it seems to describe her and her behaviour pretty well. Her emotions, her powers , how she started a whole fucking wildfire and her very unhealthy behaviour.

 🎬 Victoria Chase:

 💾 The Queen Bee! It's obvious that she was born into a wealthy family due to her expensive jewellery, clothes and very expensive camera equipment. (I see why Nathan and Victoria get along, they're both rich people who slightly get on my nerves.)

  📼From what she said to Max, it's obvious that she's jealous of her and probably afraid she'll take the spotlight or her place probably. She wants to be liked, the center of attention and if she isn't then she'll have a fucking fit. (I'm gonna have a BF, a bitch fit!) It's also obvious that she's very close with Nathan and aware of his unstable behaviour, their relationship can be seen as romantic or just friends. (i don't ship them, more like brother & sister.)

 📝It says on her profile that she could possibly have Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD), seductive behaviour, self-centeredness and constantly seeking reassurance or approval.

 🎮 Warren Graham:

 💾 It's my favourite dork! He's literally 16 and in a school specifically for seniors, smart much? It's said that he probably advanced a couple grades on his profile due to him being pretty smart.

 📼He's seen a few times fidgeting around, he's literally unable to stay still apart from when he's getting his picture taken. He acts without thinking like how he beat Nathan Prescott's ass (twice) and I get the vibe he'd also struggle focusing on certain tasks.

 📝I couldn't find anything on Warren but personally i think he has Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) from what I said earlier, he's unable to stay still, acts without thinking and struggles focusing on certain tasks. (like loving me back)

 🧨 Nathan Prescott:

 💾 He's a horrible person and I don't defend this man but I do feel bad for him, physically and verbally abused by his own father, used by Mark Jefferson all because he's rich and easy to manipulate. He went down all the dark paths in the world for a fucked up dickhead (i literally despise mark jefferson, i will beat his ass.)

 📼It's obvious he's mentally unstable and everyone around him knows, they just don't care except for his therapist. It's heavily implied that he suffers from paranoia, anxiety and psychosis. From his scary ass drawings and a letter from his therapist directed towards his father detailing how Nathan is `disconnected from reality`.

📝Nathan is confirmed to have Bipolar Disorder and Schizophrenia from the medicine (Risperidone, from his profile) that he takes which is used to treat both of those things. And possibly, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) which could have been brought on by the abuse he endures from his father. (i'll beat his ass as well.)

[b0njourbeach]

I think I saw someone ask this the other day, but what are your thoughts on Azul?

You saw right, though I've answered the question in a rather silly way the first time. Mainly because I have many thoughts of Azul, yet not a single word comes to mind when I try to write them down - This is why, dear anon, your request was for a long time in my inbox. I certainly haven't forgotten you, it just has been an issue that my words don't wish the way I wish bur now here I am, ready to talk about our dear Teenage Businessman!

Book 3 spoilers, mentions of Eating disorders

There are certainly a few topics that are questionable or even judged upon the fandom, some also seem to forget that Azul is more than his contracts and his shady ass business. Some view him as manipulative while I believe he just saw stupidity in humanity and took this weakness of mankind and turned it against those who were foolish enough to not ask questions. Azul has never lied in his contracts, not a single time. He provided what he had offered and taken what he was entitled to take. Let's take the main issue of Book 3: The contract Ace, Deuce, Grim and many others had signed: Offering their magic for a study guide - If they'd make it to the top 50, they'd get their magic back. If not, they become the Sea anemones that are to follow Azuls every order. He provided the guide and it helped everyone who has gotten their hands on it - Did he lie? He didn't. All he did was *exactly* what people had asked - Nothing less and nothing *more*. And that is the exact point: He didn't give information if he wasn't asked for it. Or ayuus contract: He took Ramshakle, he provided what the Freshmen needed - He didn't lie. In fact, he offered more than he had to: The Potion. The twins interfered but was it against the contract? It wasn't. As I see it, Azuls contracts are much like the wish of a genie: If you wish, be most specific or live with the consequences. You don't want anyone interfering with your stealing? Should've said so, simple as that.

What Azul made the "Villain" was the naivety of those who signed their name on the contract.

But there's more of Azul than this. I think it's justified of what he does. People are stupid, people are naive but most importantly: People are cruel. Especially kids are worse than any demon from hell. If you're being bullied as a child or even up to being a teenager, you'll be emotionally fucked for a long time, if not forever. You'll become insecure of whatever you've been bullied of for something that'll feel like eternity. You want to avoid this very thing, no matter how important it is supposed to be in your life. It'll cause you to break down at some point just for you to pretend like nothing happened afterwards - Especially if you've built up the very picture of someone who's got it all together like Azul did. While he pretends there's no issue, I refuse to believe that he doesn't have an Eating Disorder. Being bullied for your weight as a child (which is - in his case - not even really justified since you basically compare an octopus to a fish. A comparison that is found in every sense of the equation) leaves a mark. A deep, burning mark. Avoiding mirrors, pictures, tight clothes or being seen by anyone without your clothes. You can't tell me he's willing to get rid of his childhood and not have an eating disorder, that he wants to pretend the little healthy octopus child didn't exist and that he can look in the mirror without suffering. It's Canon that he's strictly taking care of his weight - But it's also Canon that his favorite food is fried chicken, possibly the worst choice for strictly keeping your weight. A diet is all good and stuff but strictly starving your body of certain things will only cause mental distress.

I can see he's a sensitive soul, trying to hide behind the mask of sheer confidence and superiority. His only friends are the two weird guys who didn't leave him alone - Sure, they're not the best choice but having two eels by your side is better than being alone. Whether the relation between these three is toxic or not, they depend on each other - especially Azul depends on Jade and Floyd and by the way the twins reacted to Azuls overblot, I'm confident to say that they also depend on him. After all, they might "Can't stand" each other as they'd say, they still stuck around even though there are many reasons to be "like the others" and turn away.

There was something else I had in mind but it just won't come to me right now, so I'll leave it at that for now. All I'm gonna add is that I'd really like to hug Baby Azul and tell him that he's perfect the way he is. To be his friend and let him know that it doesn't matter how he looks like because no matter how much you Weight, if your nose is crooked or if you're labeled "ugly" by modern society, it's your heart and soul that is meant to be you; not your mortal vessel.

[m0ri4rtyssh1fting]

MY SHIFTING JOURNEY

For those who don't know me hi, I'm Elisabeth and this is my blog about shifting. The purpose of this blog is to share my journey and avoid misinformation, also accompanying you on your journey!

Now let's talk about my journey, how it started and how it's going.

I learned about shifting in 2020, on shiftok, when there was still a lot of misinformation about it. I immediately became interested in the topic and made my first attempts to shift in a DR of Harry Potter. I remember that I mainly used the raven method with special subliminals for my DR. After a while the first breaks began, because I tried to shift every night and this took a lot of energy from me.

I realized later that I needed to reprogram my mindset, and it was the best choice I could have made. This has changed my perspective on shifting a lot and I still recommend it to beginners today.

During my breaks I started to become better informed, study the information we have and started to understand what was holding me back from shifting (mainly mental blocks). It happened to me that I wanted to shift, but was blocked and at that moment I understood that I had to take my journey back into control, so I forced myself to unblock myself, because I knew I wanted it. And guess what? I had my first two shifting symptoms (to be differentiated from the symptoms of body falling asleep, a distinction I may make a post on) three years after the first attempt. This motivated me a lot because it showed me for the first time the progress that was taking place in my journey.

The first time I had a symptom it happened like this: I had just woken up and it was morning, there was a lot of light in my room and my mother had to tell me some things, so after listening to her I got back into bed to sleep again. I remember thinking "I'll try to shift later" and then I just let my mind wander over my thoughts until I lost control of them. I only realize now that I had some sort of REM activation. At a certain point, however, while I was thinking and my body was falling asleep again, I started to feel dizzy, while I saw colored lights (I think this was the result of my thoughts) and I started thinking "fuck I'm shifting!" and repeating these phrases to myself in distraught while I continued to feel symptoms. Out of emotion I decided to open my eyes so as not to shift and I got up in my CR. All of this happened while there were noises in the room, lights, and even my mother going back and forth. I was in a simple comfortable position. This experience totally freed me from the fear that the external environment could influence my shifting experience. The reality is that the only thing that matters is really us.

Some little informations about my routine etc

DRs: just Hogwarts for now, the same since I began my journey.

Scripts: I started with a paper one but now I use the Lifa App on the play store.

Methods: at the moment I'm trying one that I heard explained by a shiftoker which involves a meditation of about 10 minutes, then a sort of countdown from 100 to 0 with affirmations, and finally the use of the 5 senses to perceive the room (and focus only on that and not on the entire DR) where you want to wake up. I also want to try REM activation.

That's it, if you have any questions you can comment or leave them in the box, even write them to me in dm. Soon I will post explanations of some methods or some things that have been useful so far in my journey. Good luck shifters, trust yourselves!

[drill-teeth-art]

I had a few gripes about some episodes/things that I felt could've been done better. Can I ask for your critiques?

Welcome to Otto's Critique corner. Here are my guidelines for discussing critique with me for everyone's reference.

Repeat after me.

It's okay if we disagree on the flaws of Earthspark. Other people will have different opinions and preferences. Just because someone disagrees with me doesn't make them a bad person. (This is something I spent some time learning and understanding when I was younger, so I always like to add it as one of my rules.)

We will not use this critique space as a platform to be rude to others. We may point out flaws in others' arguments and note where we disagree, but this is a space of discussion and not harassment.

If we feel too worked up by the topics, we will step back. We are responsible for our mental health and emotions. We are capable of stopping ourselves from lashing out at others, so we will be mindful of our emotions.

Onto the main critiques under the cut. Feel free to ask me to expand on certain things as you like.

More of a technical writing issue, but I think the action scenes are written ineffectively. They all feel very slow paced. It comes across as when characters are not in frame, they aren't doing anything. It takes way too long to accomplish things for this reason that would resolve the conflict faster. The characters also actively choose to not do the obvious solution for plot reasons. So for people who write action scenes and such, this is stuff to watch out for. Your characters can do things when they're not in frame, you just have to imply it well enough. Writing conflict is more believable when you write in reasons why they can't do an easier solution. Like the terrans and Bumblebee literally could have gone to get Optimus and Megatron before going back to get Grimlock. If I remember right, one of the characters even suggested it. But they just didn't do it. The obvious plot patch is to have their radios be broken or Optimus and Megatron don't answer and they don't want to leave Grimlock alone too long. But that isn't addressed, and that can read very frustrating to the viewer that the characters ignore the obvious solutions.

Onto the thematic critiques. Now to be fair, this story is incomplete as of now. I try to avoid fully critiquing something that lacks it's full context, but here are my thoughts on what I see so far. To begin, I am a fan of nuanced writing. I love villain redemptions done well and hero corruptions written well. It's important to show that people can change for the better and that good intentions don't justify certain actions. These are pretty easy to mess up writing though, and since I think it's such an important thing to write well, I tend to be harsher critiquing it. Again, it is okay if you disagree with my analysis or agree but want to add a point or agree with most but want to point out a detail I missed or even my own bias. Discussion is good.

Thematically, I think Earthspark shies away from confronting it's own major themes too much. Earthspark has heavy themes around oppression, alienation, trauma of the past haunting the present, and discovering that many people treat others they don't understand cruelly and choose not to understand them. These are very heavy themes, and (assuming the best intentions) I think the writers aren't bold enough about them. As a smaller in world example, Robby encounters his old friend who has biases against Transformers and repeats harmful talking points. Robby doesn't really say all that much about it, choosing to just take his terran siblings and leave. Now, this writing choice I don't have a huge issue with. It's not one person's responsibility to do the educating to someone about their bias. I would have personally liked to see the writers let Robby get angrier, but I don't mind the "I don't have the energy to explain this to you and it's not my job" approach in this instance. Later Robby's friend fixes the graffiti on the bridge to not be a hateful message. Now, it is nice of that character to do that, but I'm frustrated that we saw no substantial confrontation and education. We as the viewers were not shown that this character was more directly confronted with their own biases, and that's somewhat of a pattern that is frustrating. Megatron at the memorial park after the terrans reenact his war memories in front of him doesn't get mad at them or explain to them that war and trauma isn't a laughing matter. At least he doesn't explain it explicitly which I would like to see. But this happens a lot. Megatron expresses to Optimus he doesn't like the devices GHOST is building that control Transformers' mode they're allowed to be in. Optimus sort of vaguely says they have to do this for the greater good, and the topic is dropped. Robby walks away from his friend without explaining why it's cruel to buy into anti Transformers rhetoric. The topic is dropped and suddenly the other kid has a change of heart. Nightshade and a nonbinary person have a discussion about gender that I personally really hoped would go deeper. The topic is dropped as the scene changes after a few sentences.

I feel like the way the writers aren't diving into their themes more is frustrating. It comes off kind of insulting to me. And I am sure that isn't the writers' intentions. And again, I don't think Earthspark is an all bad series or that others shouldn't enjoy it. I know good representation is a huge struggle, and I'm actually really happy to see Nightshade as nonbinary rep even though I also wish they explored more with them. It's just frustrating to see the writing shy away from getting into the representation they're boasting so much that I can't even tell what they're trying to say about their own themes.

(Please no huge spelling and grammar errors fingers crossed.)

[strayheartless]

Hi. Little bit of a tone shift from me, but I need to set these rules now or else someone’s gunna get hurt or badly triggered. And I’ve done the math, It will be me.

So, as much as I didn’t want to do this, I have to set some hard rules surrounding my ask box. Namely what you guys can and can’t send me. Usually I am all for people using their imagination but this morning I opened my inbox to something that hit WAY to close to a certain topic and it’s not okay. I’m not playing the name game but just be assured I’ve run it past certain people who have assured me I’m not in the wrong for this one.

So here’s the ask rules:

Please do not send me major triggering topics. Non con of any kind is a hard no for me when writing or reading for various very personal reasons and I NEED you all to respect that.

Dead dove do not eat will be deleted. I don’t feel like I have to explain why.

Cannibalism. Again not explaining that. Don’t send it please.

Kink. I’m not that kind of blog. I don’t hate it but I don’t write it. If you send it to me you won’t be answered.

Please keep it PG-13. Not because I think tumblr should be a PG-13 place, but because I personally don’t want to write it.

This one I can’t believe I’m having to highlight. Underage content. NO! Now, this one is not only common sense it is also DEEPLY and very PERSONALLY triggering to receive. Don’t. There’s a reason I have a hard age-up policy on ships. And there’s a reason I don’t interact with underage tumblrs. STOP IT. I want to be nice to everyone who messages but please, for the love of all that is good and holy, Not that.

Lastly, body horror. Now this one has some grey area because it’s pretty difficult to avoid in the FF7 fandom, but what I mean is hard line body horror. It doesn’t matter if you give me the triggers I’m still not gunna answer it. The cut off point is the typical implied stuff that comes with the territory of the fandom.

I will always tag things as best I can. I am very aware of triggering people and if there’s ever something you want me to be more careful of, just shoot me a message. This is a two way street here. But please respect these hard line no’s. For the sake of my own mental and emotional well-being I CANNOT keep receiving these.

[doodle-pops]

Elves' General Headcanons on Having a S/O with DID

Request: I'm torn between how the elves would react to a s/o with DID or the opinions on male x male relationships. - Anon

A/N: This is a very interesting question here anon. Now, I've stated that writing/addressing topics like mental illness makes me very wary because I do not want to insult someone through misinterpretations. I tried my best to not go into full on descriptions to get anything wrong.

Please do not engage in the act of faking mental illness for 'aesthetic' purposes. If you happen to be suffering symptoms of a certain illness, seek professional help, don't self-diagnosis. There are people out there with real mental illnesses and it's heartbreaking to them to see their condition be treated as a trend.

My sincerest apologies if I got something wrong.

Warnings: mentions of the words abuse, trauma, depression, and mental illnesses. If topics on mental illnesses make you uncomfortable, then do not engage with this post. You are responsible for your own media consumption.

⇴ In today's world DID is still a very big mysterious mental illness that has similar symptoms to other illnesses which makes it difficult to identify.

⇴ You, their s/o who is very much aware of your condition would baffle a lot of them when you explain your illness.

⇴ Many will be shocked to learn about you being mentally ill. I think mental illness at their time wasn't given names or identified like the way we do now, so you would have to explain your symptoms.

⇴ Informing them that your condition was a rare case and it is uncommon among your folks would leave them worried.

⇴ Your lover would question you on all that you knew about your illness so they can provide as much assistance as possible and avoid worsening it.

⇴ Is there something that triggers it? Is there a way to reduce panic attacks and anxiety?

⇴ They would assist you with all that they can to ease the worry and stress, and if you're in the process of healing, they would be at your side step by step.

⇴ One common form of obtaining this condition is trauma or abuse from a young age. This is perhaps the most terrifying thing you could inform them of.

⇴ Their biggest thoughts would be on who was the cause of your abuse or trauma.

⇴ This would also further clarify their confusion as to why you appear depressed or moody from time to time.

⇴ The most common symptom of DID is the presence of two or more personalities/alters.

⇴ Alerting them of you having more than one alter within your mind would both fascinate them and confuse them, so a further explanation would be needed.

⇴ To calm them down, you do your best to reassure them, that as long as you are away from stressful or any traumatizing situations, they shouldn't have to worry about the switch.

⇴ If the switch does happen, it could be abrupt. One minute they were talking to you and the next minute, your other alter stepped in.

⇴ This happens when you're feeling anxious or depressed or sometimes the mentions of abusive topics, your alter would switch to help act as a coping mechanism.

⇴ The part that gets them the most is when the switch happens, they haven't the slightest clue because it could be so calmly. It's only until you started appearing confused mid conversation that they'll realize a switch happened.

⇴ Elves tend to love a lot stronger than us due to the fact that they connect with the fëa rather than the hroä.

⇴ So, your respective elven lover will stand by your side and learn all about your other alters and how to identify them should an appearance be made.

⇴ They would learn to love all the other alters that you have because to them, they are a part of you and they love all of you.

Masterlist

Taglist: @spidergirla5 @givemaedhrosahug @eunoiaastralwings

If anyone wants to be tagged, click the link or request in the asks.

[rissynicole]

Oh god on your tags on that bad taken post. Same experience. I swear sometimes people who get really deeply into fandom discourse, regardless of what side, end up sounding like QAnon truthers. Like super paranoid, going in about the same topic constantly, steering every conversation back to whatever their bugbear is, increasingly coming to more catastrophising, overblown conclusions about banal things. You end up not even able to talk to them normally in the end…

Glad to know I’m not the only one who has had this experience.

Without going into too much detail, my anxiety and overall mental health really can’t take a lot of that sort of thing. I need to curate an environment where I’m not at risk of feeling like people are going to turn on me the second I don’t mirror their opinions to a T. It can be jarring to see someone act so passionately towards something, and it makes it very hard to believe that their friendship isn’t reliant on me holding the same opinions on whatever they’ve decided to devote all their mental energy to. Sometimes, even if I generally agree with a person’s opinion, if it’s framed super condescendingly or aggressively, my first instinct is to be repelled by it.

I think, ultimately, people get sucked into certain topics, and fall victim to group polarization. That’s extremely easy to do in online spaces. Then they get more and more passionate and vocal about it. That’s also easy to do—we all have a platform. But when it gets to be too much, and it’s all I see from that person, it does drive me away.

Fandom drama, out-of-hat and mean-spirited opinions, increasingly extreme political ideologies (the latter is a big one as I try to avoid politics altogether on Tumblr) are all reasons I’ve unfollowed mutuals who, on the whole, I do have every reason to believe are good people. Most of the time, it’s nothing against the person. I just need to do what’s best for me mentally.

*this isn’t a vague post towards anyone. No one’s done this recently. Just a conundrum I’ve encountered a handful of times in the past.

[kaibacorpbros]

KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER. ( REPOST DO NOT REBLOG ! )

NAME: Mew

PRONOUNS:  She/her or They/them

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION: Tumblr IMs or discord - if we’re mutuals I 1000% prefer discord though because... ugh dumblr misbehaves a lot lol

NAME OF MUSE(S): Seto and Mokuba Kaiba. I also have some sideblogs with Diva/Aigami, Jounouchi, Kisara, Priest Seth, the ignis from YGO vrains, and two OCs Hermit and Riley!

EXPERIENCE/HOW LONG (MONTHS / YEARS?): im bad at math and years but loosely did chatroom rps in 2013ish but only started doing proper rp about 2 years ago I’d say!

PLATFORMS YOU’VE USED: chat rooms, tumblr and discord

BEST EXPERIENCE: Too many to say honestly? like everything there’s been some ups and downs but I have gotten to meet some awesome people that have become good friends and I’m forever grateful to rp for that.

RP PET PEEVES/DEALBREAKERS: Hoy boy alright buckle in. For one, I can’t only do oneliners. For crack or the like it’s fine but if that’s the only way someone rps I can’t.

Also can’t with people who have sporadic activity but each time they relaunch their blog(s) they start over and start a buncha new stuff yelling that they want attention and to do so many things only to poof and when they come back to rp they do the same thing all over again and you never/barely actually get to RP with them. On a related note because these things tend to go together--when someone is constantly remaking their blogs.

I also will politely bow out on people who’s main desire for rp is sexual and/or romantic ships. You do you, but that’s not for me I’m here to tell a story first and if that happens to include a ship cool but there are more stories than just people falling for each other and going on dates. Also on this topic people who overly post sexual things several times a day. It’s okay to have a sexual muse but idk man I really don’t need to be seeing all the lingerie they like and posts on their favorite ways to have sex and their kinks 5 times a day. This aint p*rn hub. Likewise if someone spams with romance posts their ship(s) and never shuts up about them and just constantly harps on how in love they are and nothing else

Big dealbreaker is when I try and set boundaries for my own comfort and someone goes off on me and tries to gaslight me into thinking that I’m overreacting or I have no reason to want to avoid a certain kind of content. Like, nearly everyone’s rules say they’re chill with tagging triggers for people or avoid topics in conversations if asked and etc and yet when you try and do that some people bite your head off. 

Another one is when rpers can’t be assed to do good research to 1) make sure they aren’t writing anything harmful or 2) just be?? generally respectful to the culture whatever your piece of media you’re rping in comes from? I don’t expect people to know everything about Japan, but idk maybe do stuff like google if Christmas is celebrated over there and if so how and also maybe a general idea of what their idea of death and the afterlife is like when the series takes place in Japan?? Just. Google at a minimum jfc.

FLUFF, ANGST OR SMUT: I’m a big sucker for angst and I don’t think that’s a secret 8) . The other two have other things going for them but man, I just like that emotional gutpunch. I like to watch muses break. Physically or mentally or both : >

PLOTS OR MEMES: Both! I like a mixture of stuff. Like usually I like starting something via memes but then plotting from there!

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES: Longer! as I said about the not being able to do oneliners thing. Buuuut of course if whatever is happening between the muses is a light or funny thing of course it will be shorter and I think that totally has its place and is good because sometimes I don’t have the braincells to do bigger replies lol.

BEST TIME TO WRITE: Nights are now my day with my job but even before that I always did better at night lol

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S): We have some things in common yeah! I think it’s natural to like characters that you have some things in common with, because like acting it helps you portray them better. Like how when an actor becomes a parent for the first time they tend to start wanting to play characters who are also parents.

Tagged by: @sakurarisen thankies Poms :D

Tagging: @lightyourpyre @kingofblueeyex and you!

[purplesurveys]

1856

Do you know anyone who has a hearing deficit? No, don't think so.

What is the average number of customers that stop by where you work? Doesn't really work that way in our industry, but I'd say the average number of accounts a team handles within our agency would be 5-6.

When you are having a bath, do you have the water low, medium, or high? Is this referring to temperature or height? as someone with no bathtub and would not be familiar with terms lmao. Anyway, I'll answer both ways - I like my water lukewarm but leaning towards hot, and I like it able to cover up to my neck so it feels like I'm swimming.

Do you know exactly what a physician is? Would you ever want to be one? Sure, and no.

Does your phone have a stopwatch? How often do you use it, and what for? It does, but I don't use it unless I'm rehearsing for a presentation that needs to be limited to a certain length (20 mins, 30 mins, etc) as some clients request that. I don't really have use for a stopwatch, otherwise.

What is your surname? If you could change it, what would you want it to be? I'm not sharing that and don't prefer a certain one over mine.

Do you know anyone who pronounces 'ketchup' with 'catsup'? Nope.

Speaking of cats, what is your favorite colours for a cat? I don't have a favorite color on animals lol, they're all beautiful.

What are you methods to remind yourself of something important? I have a to-do list that I keep updated no matter what and no matter how busy I could possibly get. If a day is particularly hectic and I feel like drowning in all the load, I take it a step further and place times on each of my to-do tasks so that I manage my time wisely.

So for example, Item 1 can be "Do this report - 10:30 AM," item 2 is "Review teammate's draft - 11:30 AM," item 3 is "Reply to so-and-so's email - 1 PM," so on and so forth until I get to organize everything until 6 PM.

What are your opinions on fake sugar? Do you use it? Why or why not? I dunno really, I don't think I've even had it before.

Would you ever want to study sociology? Why or why not? That'd be great. I looked up the sociology electives and majors from my university and now I'm asking myself why I never took any of them up, hahaha. The topics are right up my alley, plus you can say it's related to history/social history and that makes me very happy.

If you had to have a porch for your house, what colour would it be? I'd go with white or black.

What makes a person physically beautiful to you? Vibrant, genuine smile; healthy teeth; glowing cheeks.

Would you rather have a hospital become a church, or vice versa? We don't need any more churches here.

Would you miss winter if it never came back? Why or why not? Not really the best person to take this question on.

Do you notice a pattern with people who were born as the middle child? Yes for the most part, and I know this because I have a sister who's the middle child haha. She's *very* independent, is the one who avoids all conflict, way more responsible than my brother and I would ever be, and is down for anything in all contexts.

Did you ever play around a hydrant when you were younger? No.

Does bad weather ruin your day? Why or why not? To be honest no, because I like the rain. The only time I feel like it's my enemy is when it rains on a day when I have to drive, because that shit can be terrifying especially when it rains too hard that you can't see anything on the road.

What is one thing stopping you from becoming a veterinarian? All the big brain, science-y stuff that goes behind it, I guess. Even if I take all the courses in the world, my natural paranoid self might not trust myself when it comes to giving the correct dosages, being confident about diagnoses, identifying the best medication to give... things like that. I also don't think I'm mentally strong enough to handle emergency cases.

When you read 'bass' just now, was it read like the fish or the instrument? Instrument.

If you wear them, what is the average length of skirts you wear? I don't wear skirts but if I had to, I'd go with maxi ones.

Do you spell it like 'cheque' or 'check'? Also, do you even use them? Cheque, because check can mean so many things and I hate being confused haha. No, I don't.

If you had to live your life carrying a shield, what would its design be? Just a plain pastel purple one, idk.

[ardn632-jacquelinekan]

Final Written Statement

Coming back into assignment two I was initially unsure about what to create, the spectrum of what we could create was so wide meaning the possibilities of what stories you could create were endless. While the journey to creating the final composition in the first half of this semester was a tricky road, I learnt so many new skills that will be useful in my professional career and I was super happy with the final outcome of the image. The scene depicted a train station in the middle of nowhere with two horses in the forefront of the image. It was made to represent the feeling of not understanding where you’re going in life but still taking that journey regardless. A lot of what I create stems from emotions that I have felt at some point in my life and how I thought would best convey that through imagery. I think that photography should be something that is both meaningful to you and that people can also relate to or connect with. With this part of the semester, I was working towards developing my own personal style that built upon all the things that I learnt previously. This project has given me the opportunity to deep dive into a whole new form of photography that I have never explored before. Looking back at all the work that I have done in this course, one of my strengths is portrait photography so that’s what I normally try to lean into more. 

The focus of this second assignment was to explore and think about how images can depict a certain truth. Through this, we had to think about why we should always question the things we see especially since we're in the age of digital manipulation but at the same time still appreciate the art. Thinking about the future of my photography and what I am passionate about, I want to work towards my work being published in magazines or large-scale prints. I’ve always wanted to create unique shoots for brands or artists and photograph them. If I were to explore a new type of photography it would definitely be concert photography as that’s one of the main inspirations for getting into this passion. 

Stagnant is an photo series that aims to discuss and shield light on mental health and the societal pressures it can have. My emphasis was to create images that were non-fiction based and depicted the truth about living with different issues. The images showcase both my perspective on the problems as well as the research that I have done to ensure that I am not portraying a false narrative. I tried to blend the line between fantastical and believable imagery to highlight the hidden sides of mental health that many might not associate with it. I was inspired by an article I stumbled upon by the photographer Steph Wilson who created a project that “visualises various symptoms of and coping mechanisms for anxiety” (Wang, 2016). Looking at the images I thought it was so interesting to see how someone visualises how they’re feeling. This was the main model that inspired me to go forward with creating compositions within this topic. Each of these images represents a different side of mental health, I wanted to create something new without skewing the message that is being conveyed. The first image of the series showcases the side effects of social media addiction and it making it feel like there’s always a looming presence around you. Always needing to be perfect and aesthetic in order to seem likeable. The second image is a reflection on ones personal mind state, as often the phrase “I’m Fine” is used a lot in order to avoid further questioning and keeping up that put together facade. The last image of this series also talks about the same phrase but focuses on self doubt in the words that you believe is the truth because of how many people think they can have a say in how you feel. I have also included what the images would look like if they were to be the front cover of a mental health magazine or editorial. 

Creative Review. (n.d.). EXPLORING MENTAL HEALTH THROUGH PHOTOGRAPHY. Retrieved October 12, 2022, from https://www.creativereview.co.uk/exploring-mental-health-through-photography/ Wang, E. (2016, September 9). Photos that bring mental health issues to life. Dazed. Retrieved October 12, 2022, from https://www.dazeddigital.com/photography/article/32717/1/steph-wilson-s-photos-bring-mental-health-issues-to-life

[idiacide]

Hello! I've always struggled with my appearance. A few months ago I decided to start losing weight, but I tend to take things too far sometimes and ended getting extremely sick. I think I passed out at one point (probably not, just being dramatic maybe lol). Anyways, could I request the dorm leaders + grim (If possible and platonically ofc. I love him, he may be getting us in trouble but he's adorable) reacting to MC getting sick or passing out from lack of food? If this kind of thing makes you uncomfortable it is fine for you to ignore it. Either way thank you!!!

Also, I'm getting better. I learned that not everything has to be taken that far. 😅

No worries man. Also I’m tagging this as ED both because that’s more likely to catch general blacklists of the people who need it, and also because I do headcanon Riddle and Vil to some extent as individually having struggled with eating disorders. However, I want to be clear that I am not assigning you, asker, with an eating disorder. That’s between your doctor and you. Hope you’re doing well out there.

Also as a general disclaimer: while I will NEVER go out of my way to be intentionally triggering or edgy, I try to stick to believability with the characters when I write stuff like this. That means that some, if not all of them, may have a response that isn’t technically a good or correct thing to do. Real people don’t come with handbooks, they can say and do the wrong thing from a place of love and concern. Especially with complicated issues like body image and mental health. All this to say: please assume that their intentions are good even if their actions are clumsy. And as always, if I ever write something for someone’s request that legitimately triggers them, real people take priority over writer ethos. Message me to let me know and I’ll happily edit it out, since this is about escapism over proving my chops as a writer.

Last clarification: for the sake of this I’m going to allow the reader to still want to lose weight. That is a choice that you are allowed to make for your body, and just saying “but youre already beautiful” isn’t really helpful in that scenario.

 TW: Eating disorder/ED, sickness, passing out

Grim: Grim functionally has no idea what a human’s average intake should be. By default he’s going to use himself as a metric, but his go-to with food is to just sort of inhale everything in sight. That’s also not exactly healthy for a human body, so he’ll just assume that whatever you’re doing is probably what’s best. That is, until you start getting sick. Suddenly you’re a lot more low energy than normal. You keep having to quit tasks midway through to get a grip on your nausea. The fainting is most dangerous of all. For as much renovation as you do on Ramshackle, there are plenty of places where there are still loose floorboards or even half exposed nails.

It makes him more nervous than he cares to admit, but what’s most frustrating of all is that he can’t understand why you’re doing it. If you’re so hungry your body is knocking you out, just eat something!!! Why is this so difficult to understand?? Body image issues are so far beyond what he understands that you may end up in more than one out and out fight on the topic. He gets so frustrated and upset, and it tends to manifest in lashing out at you.

Ultimately, the onus will be on you a little bit to come up with an actionable plan. You need to explain to him your intentions, while also providing him with some caveats about things that you won’t do. For example: “I will avoid eating snacks after a certain time, but I won’t restrict myself to one meal a day.” The ghosts can help you come up with something a little more sustainable for your body. Grim may not be much help in the planning process (or, even now, understand why this is a thing that you want), but he’s enthusiastic in helping you enforce the wills and won’ts if it means he can help you stop feeling so sick all the time. It makes him feel like a protector, helping you take care of yourself. And hey. He’s proud of you for working for what you want, even if you do go overboard sometimes. Good thing his henchhuman has such a noble sorceror helping them out!!!

Riddle Rosehearts: I usually headcanon Riddle as struggling with disordered eating of his own. For him, its less about body image and more about discipline and maximizing outputs. We see those seeds planted early. His mother was very obsessive about regulating his intake, as well as the types of foods that he was allowed to eat. I don’t believe she was intentionally starving her son by any means, but I also believe the fact that Riddle is so small can partly be attributed to the fact that he was being held to a standard of an “average” body rather than something more curtailed to what his body specifically needed.

He kept those behaviors well into high school, keeping careful track of his calories and even going so far as to keep a food journal for the sake of orderliness. Trey did his best to tempt him with sweets, and it helps that most of Heartslabyul’s traditions involve the consumption of sweets by the Queen’s Law. But he’s still in the process of recovery, especially when its hard to regimen yourself out of a regimen.

All this to say, it absolutely does not take him very long to pick up on your symptoms, and he feels horrifyingly guilty about it because he worries he may have contributed to it somehow. Once he gets over that, he confronts you very directly. He wants to know how long you’ve been struggling with it, as well as what your long term goals are and what you’ve been doing to achieve those goals. At times, it can feel like an interrogation, but you can also see that he’s very visibly trying to gentle his language. He doesn’t want you to feel like he’s MAD at you, just that he happens to be very invested in your own well-being.

The two of you reach an agreement. Riddle will help you research dietary needs and supplements. He wants to help you achieve your goal, even though he has some hesitation about where the impulse comes from. He loves you very much, no matter the shape that you’re in. Still, he won’t deter you from taking steps you need to feel ok with yourself, as long as you promise to let him help keep you healthy and happy in the process. Helping you helps him also be a little bit gentler on himself: its easier to cheat a little if its to help your partner fight off some nausea. Worst comes to worst....its almost impossible to say no to one of Trey’s tarts, on occasion.

Leona Kingscholar: Whether its sleep, food, homework, or exercise, the only consistencies with Leona’s biopatterns is that they are INCONSISTENT. He eats when he’s hungry and sleeps when he’s tired, at pretty much whatever time that happens to be.

As a result, its gonna take him a lot longer than it should to notice anything’s off with you. Normally your boyfriend’s pretty observant, especially when it comes to you. But this is one thing that just never really occurs to him to be worried about. In the wilds its a good sign to be fat and happy. It means you’re provided for. So it doesn’t totally sink in with him that this is a thing that you’re struggling with. If you don’t eat when he’s around, well, probably just weren’t hungry. If you have lower energy levels than normal, he’s drowsy pretty much 24/7 and will happily take the excuse to have both of you tuck away in his room to sleep.

Then Ruggie tells him you passed out in the common room, and some pieces click together. He starts watching you, starts probing Grim with a few quiet questions, as well as Ace and Deuce. When did you eat. If you did, how much? All under the radar and usually behind your back.

Leona’s not really the kind of person to openly confront you about this kind of thing, at least not at first. Its not just laziness. He knows himself enough to know he’s not really equipped to talk anyone through self-image issues, and doesn’t want to risk making it worse by saying the wrong thing. If you worked harder to hide it from him it’d be that much harder to make sure you’re not killing yourself.

So his tactic instead: if he’s eating, you’re eating. He never makes a big show of this, though you do notice his schedule is suddenly getting a little more regular. He’s in the cafeteria more and more often at regular meal times, and through some trick you’ll never fully understand he manages to get you to come with him. Even when at home, he’ll push some food on you and point out when you’re just pushing it around your plate without actually eating anything. Never angrily, never trying to shame you, just. Keeping an eye on it, and letting you know that he has an eye on it. Leona’s never commented on your body before but now you notice a slow uptick in honest to god compliments. Nothing big or overblown, it’d raise suspicion, but just carefully letting you know that he appreciates what you look like.

Its not a substitute for actual coping strategies. On some level he knows that. And if you continue to get sick, he will eventually work himself up to an actual conversation about it. He won’t tell you what to do with yourself. Both of you prize your independence too much to take well to that. But, and tell anyone this and he’ll kill you: he’s kinda fond of who you are. Be a real shame to hurt yourself trying to become someone else.

Azul Ashengrotto: Well he sure as hell resonates with self-image issues. Azul is definitely no one’s poster child for a good relationship with food. For however much you assure him that he was cute as a kid and would still be cute now, he’ll never stop trying to distance himself from that chubby octopus child he was. However, while he certainly exacts a tight control on his caloric intake, I never really see him as tipping the scale into full on disordered eating. He has plans, big ambitions, none of which he can execute on if he’s too sick and fatigued to do much of anything. His diet is regimented, but always catered to his actual needs, and he does know how to give himself a break when he needs it.

The way he TALKS about it though is pretty rough for someone with your issues. Its like he can’t stop himself from mentioning that this dish would go right to his hips, or that he’d look bloated, or how fattening it is. Always a breezing comment, always meant to be halfway self-deprecating. He honestly doesn’t notice that its bothering you until he starts to notice you’ve been withdrawing more and more recently. You’re not your usual self, you talk about being tired and get dizzy frequently.

And then it hits him all at once.

The apologies come bursting out of him one day. Fervent, insistent, almost teary. He feels awful, like he singlehandedly managed to cause it in you. He knows that’s not case, knows even more that trying to make it about himself isn’t helpful to you at all. But he’s horrified that he might have made you feel as worthless as he used to feel as a child, something he never wanted for you. 

Once you work through the initial melodramatics, he talks you through what you want to do from here. If you’re still committed to losing weight, he can help with that. Your boyfriend is nothing if not utterly thorough, and to top it all off a pretty good cook. He can help you put together a diet plan perfectly curtailed to your needs and goals, as well as provide you with some genuinely tasty supplements to make sure you’re meeting nutritional needs without going over what you want to consume in a day. No matter what, though, he’s going to be putting more concerted effort in making sure you know that he finds you physically attractive. He appreciates the necessity of having a drive. But you have to be sure you’re doing it for you, not just to satisfy the gazes of people who don’t deserve to have an opinion on you.

Kalim Al-Asim: Oh he noticed almost right away. For as oblivious as Kalim can be: the man does love to throw a feast, and his love language is showering you with all the delicacies he can offer. You might get away with waiving off a dinner or two, but consistently turning him down is sure to get him to notice. Especially after everything that happened with Jamil, he knows how to be watchful for the needs of the people around him, including the ones they’re not ready to tell him about.

Kalim confronts you very openly and frankly early on, asking why you’re turning down food and if there’s something that he’s doing wrong. Even for the more reserved and confrontation avoidant, he makes this conversation surprisingly painless. There’s concern there, but absolutely no judgement. He genuinely just wants to know what’s going on with you, and if there’s anything he can do to help you out.

Kalim is also the most likely to get an explicit confirmation from you about exactly why it is that you want to lose weight. He wants to support you no matter what, but he also doesn’t want you going overboard because you’re worried about what he thinks of you. He thinks you’re gorgeous, tells you so as often as he can, and he wants you to know he means it. However, if its for health reasons or just to get you comfortable in your own skin, he wants to support that as best he can (while still making sure to take care of you too). You’ve been reckless with yourself, but that doesn’t mean he wants to make you feel like he doesn’t trust you.

Ultimately the biggest hurdle is some basic lifestyle incompatibilities. For as much as he does mean it when he wants to support you, its easy for him to forget about you watching what you eat when he starts offering you treats. Still, it does help offset the issue of you avoiding food altogether. And he won’t pressure you if you legitimately tell him no, just smile and pat your hand as he eats it himself. Its an implicit bargain between the two of you. He won’t push you to go over your limits, so long as you’re careful about watching your health. He asks Jamil to help him learn how to cook some healthier dishes so you can still have something to snack on if you would like, and this man will go above and beyond to pamper you on days when you’re feeling a little sick despite your best efforts.

Vil Schoenheit: Like Riddle, Vil has struggled with disordered eating in the past. Someone as image conscious as he is kind of can’t help but be particularly obsessive about that part. While he’s gotten better about it, he still decidedly has bad weeks, especially leading up to a major photoshoot or some other event where he’s stressing himself sick about looking his best. Like Azul, he also doesn’t make a secret of the control he exercises, and is very vocal about the nutritional qualities of whatever he’s presented with.

Unlike Riddle and Azul both, though, he does a very bad job of not being mad at you when he realizes what you’re doing to yourself.

Vil adores you. Its hard to tell sometimes from an outside perspective. He’s still himself in many ways, still careful of giving himself away too much and still more prone to be critical. But you’re someone deeply precious to him, and he’s never for a second let you forget that fact. So finding out that you’re harming yourself in this way....it feels like a slap in the face. Not only are you secondhandedly implying that his taste for perfection has dimmed, but you’re harming someone he loves very deeply. Did you honestly think he wouldn’t find out about it?!

The confrontation turns into a long lecture, Vil, moving you through the list of every single good feature you have, as well as horror stories about what could have happened to you if you had kept this up. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t sort of trying to scare you. It was ultimately had snapped him out of the worst of it: the fear that he would permanently damage himself in some way and be unable to work. He just keeps going and going, how could you do this, don’t you realize its dangerous-

And then he realizes that you’re in tears.

It forces him to backtrack almost immediately. Quickly apologizing and shifting to comfort mode while he works out what to do next. His intention honestly isn’t to punish you, it just....it frightens him. When he sees you like this. Especially when it hits so close to home on his own poor coping mechanisms. He doesn’t know the right thing to say or do here, but he can recognize when he’s lashing out rather than being helpful. And this is, before anything else, about helping you.

Past the initial meltdown, what he offers you is this. He wants to take the reins on your dietary plan. He knows how to create a meal schedule that will still keep you full of energy while carefully toning you down. He can’t promise exactly the body that you want, but he can promise that you will shed some weight if that’s honestly what you want, as well as keeping you to a healthier version of yourself. If you can stick to it and not going, he promises not to micromanage or hover over you. He won’t stick his nose where its not wanted, at the risk of triggering you both, but the tradeoff you have to offer him is that you promise to take care of yourself to the best of your ability.

He loves you very much. Never for a second doubt that. He’s a discerning eye when it comes to beauty.

Idia Shroud: Idia honestly noticed a lot earlier than he ever let on, but was hesitant to bring it up. For one thing, he’s not exactly the picture of health himself. He sustains himself on a hummingbird diet of hard candy and baja blasts. One bite of a vegetable might honestly send him into shock. For another (related) reason: he hates when people comment on his food choices. It feels unnecessarily scrutinizing, and also like he’s making fun of. He did start noticing that you weren’t eating as much as you used to, but he went for a while without commenting on it. Not wanting to embarrass you if it really was just a coincidence.

Then you faint standing up too fast from his bed and wake up to a very panicky Idia hovering over you and babbling at a thousand miles an hour about how you’re dying, you’re dying on his bed and its all his fault and he doesn’t know what kind of wasting disease you’ve contracted but its probably because he cursed you with his presence or something and now-

Once you can get a word in edgewise and explain yourself...First off, he doesn’t tolerate any bullshit or language tricks on your part. Despite his terror of confrontation Idia has a great nose for lies. One way or another he’s somehow worming the truth out of you, leaving him...honestly kind of at a loss.

He has body issues of his own. He hates pretty much everything about himself, how tall he is, how his face looks, his weird proportions and creepy grin. But if he had a solution to them he wouldn’t exactly be in this mess, now would he? So how is he supposed to solve someone else’s? Does he even deserve to lecture you when he’s failing this challenge in so many ways of his own?

What he does (eventually) manage to get out is: if you really want to do this for yourself, he won’t stand in your way. But he worries. He worries when you don’t act like yourself, he worries when you’re sick. So...you’ll have to meet each other halfway, ok? Otherwise...ok he doesn’t actually want to make threats but you get the point!!!

Its a clumsy and frequently inefficient process. He starts keeping a lot of healthier snacks around his room for you to snack on whenver he notices you’re looking a little pale. The two of you finally manage to agree to eat at least two actual meals a day, and send picture proof to each other when you can’t eat together (Ortho pulls you aside to thank you for that). He’ll also offer to get you set up with a bot on your phone to dish out regular reminders to drink water and eat, as well as a way to log your progress on your way to your goals. When he’s feeling particularly bold, he likes to include little notes in there too, small tokens of affection that he’d never have the nerve to say out loud.

He doesn’t know what he’s doing. But he knows that he wants you ok. Only one of you can be having a self-confidence spiral at a time, deal?

Malleus Draconia: Also slow on the uptake. His general detachment from human concepts of time and mortality basically means that he doesn’t really have a strong sense of how often you should be eating. Not to mention, avoiding Lilia’s cooking is just basic common sense, not necessarily indicative of some deep issue. When you start having health issues, he’s obviously concerned, but readily swallows whatever excuses that you give him.

It takes consistent expression of symptoms for him to realize something might be more wrong than you want to let on. He confronts you very directly, showing you that impossibly grave look on his face whenever you try to wave it off. He wants the actual reason, no matter how embarrassing it may be.

The problems you’re experiencing are a little hard for him to grasp. Immortality tends to detach you from too much concern about the shape of your body. He can’t exactly shapeshift (well. Not as far as you know ;) ) but he’s been many shapes and sizes in his time. Lilia even more so. None more or less valuable than the rest. Your body is the vessel which houses the self, fae wisdom says, and the only rule is that the preservation of that self is a good above all else.

Still. He recognizes that this may be a case where the limitations of mortality may add a certain urgency to your actions. He likes your body. But if you don’t, and you seriously wish to pursue a change which will make you more happy with it, then the best he can do is offer you the support you need on that journey.

However, Malleus won’t tolerate you harming yourself. For any reason. Its rare he’ll encroach on your independence, but if you continue to be faint and dizzy he’ll quickly...encourage you to eat or drink something. Won’t let you leave his sight until he’s certain you do. He’s not above spying on you either, making sure that you’re taking care of yourself even when you don’t think he can see. You may have to tell him off for this on occasion. You’re not a child. But he’s firm on this: life takes priority over aesthetics. He’ll do whatever it takes to preserve life, healthy, full life, when it comes to you. 

[relishingwriter]

Terrible Love (Addison Montgomery x Reader)

Themes: Angst. Pure angst.

Author's note: I do not feel like this is my best work yet, but every time I listened to this song I imagined this sad fic with Addison, so here it is! I promise the next one will be pure fluff though.

You and Addison were together for almost a year now. You both fell in love when she was trying to work things out with Derek, and after she left him, you were certain that the hard times were over. Or at least you thought so.

Suddenly, Addison Montgomery wanted to be the chief, and she was doing everything in her power to achieve it. Now, she fully dedicated her time to teaching interns and putting crazy hours into surgeries.

"Addie?" You whispered into her ear, laying down into your bed. This was a familiar scene: Addison would avoid you at the hospital just so you could arrive home, have sex, and sit in silence. It felt like you were walking with spiders.

"Love," she whispered back, pressing against you. You sighed and turned off the lights, preparing yourself to sleep. Before you became fully unconscious, a thought occurred: Addison was thinking of leaving Seattle.

…

"Hey," Addison said as you entered the kitchen, smiling as she cooked the one of the few recipes she knew: eggs with bacon. "Do you know what you are dreaming of?"

"What do you mean?" You asked, frowning as you sat down at the table.

"It's just... You seem to be having nightmares. You keep muttering some weird things during your sleep, and sometimes you seem to be shivering." She explained, staring intensely at you. Like she was ready to caught you up in a lie.

"Maybe I am dreaming of spiders," you shrugged as you kept it cool. For the last couple of weeks, you've been dreaming of Addison leaving without any warning: you'd get to your apartment at the end of the day and all of her things were gone. Although you knew she would never do this, you also feared the truth behind her recent cold attitude. You both stayed in silent for a couple minutes until she finished serving the plates at the table.

"Come here," she said, hugging you.

…

After that conversation with Addison, the silence and nightmares stopped. Your love grew warm again, and you guessed she also felt like you were leaving her: she could be very insecure from time to time. Everything was perfect, except from the current stress from rounds.

"Y/N, you're on my service today." Addison said, smiling wide at you, and you retributed the smile. As you arrived in the OB/GYN area, she pushed you into a room with a serious look on her face. You mentally prepared yourself for whatever was about to come.

"I know you're only an intern, and that you love Seattle and its rainy and cloudy days, but I am thinking of moving to L.A," Addison started, putting her hands on your shoulders. "You don't have to give me an answer now, but just think about it, okay?"

"I don't have to think about it," You started with a smile, putting your hand over hers. "I love you."

...

You were excited to move to L.A. It would be a contrast to Seattle: sunny days, happy people, streets filled with artists. Who would be unhappy with this, right?

Or at least that's what you kept telling yourself.

You were in love with Addison, and as foolish as it was, you would do anything to stay near her. Even if it meant leaving your friends and career slightly behind. Rolling your eyes, you sighed, ignoring all the signs and thoughts telling you this was, indeed, a bad idea.

…

You were one week from leaving to L.A and your anxiety was through the roof, and as if nothing could get worse, Addison texted you that you two needed to talk.

The on-call room was never so intimidating.

Deep inside of you, you knew you couldn't follow Addison into the rabbit hole. Leaving everyone and everything behind was crazy, and you did not feel like she really wanted you to go. After the conversation the two of you had, she never mentioned the topic again.

As you stayed concentrated into the war going on your mind, you heard the door opening. There she was.

"I think you'll want to sit down for this," she started, grabbing your hands. You nodded, sitting down on the bunk bed. "I don't want you coming with me. You're too young, inexperienced, and you would resent me forever for taking you away from Seattle Grace. I know how much you love this place, and I am sorry for even asking you to make this huge decision within two weeks. And I am rambling. I am sorry," she spoke out of breath. You stared into her eyes, and kissed her.

"I am sorry too," you mumbled as you both gasped for breath, thinking to yourself how everything fell apart so quickly.