#i just think that they all and also i think that screw the higher ups <3 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jeanbie · 6 months

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HIGHER THAN HEAVEN ★ masterlist.

pairing: levi x reader

genre: university au | warnings: sexual content, fem/afab!reader, masturbation, listening-to-the-other-fucking, sexual tension, slut/whore shaming (men being pigs), "slutty"!reader, mentions of spit | wc: 10.7k | ♬

note: why has this been a wip for like...a year? also i always like to try out new versions of levi and i feel like he'd actually be just a normal kinda grumpy guy in a modern setting so i hope u guys like my uni!levi interpretation ꒰* ॢꈍ◡ꈍ ॢ꒱.*˚

⏤ Levi wants to be mad that his neighbour keeps screwing guys really loudly. But how can he be mad when she's just so goddamn pretty?

It's the third time this week.

Levi knows what it means to let off steam, and he knows that exam season has just finished. For the last few days, the volume of noise where he lives has climbed exponentially; flats throwing parties, yelling in the hallways and laughter outside his window.

Levi's happy, too, that his exams are over, but he has to admit, he thought there might be moral standards from the people he called neighbours.

He sighs, momentarily tapping down the volume of his music as he hears what he thinks might be his neighbour against the shared wall. The sound is fleeting, and he almost thinks he's making it up, and then he hears her soft whimpers and two hard thuds against the thin separation between their bedrooms. Levi waits for a second, blinking, and then he closes his eyes.

He's never really met his neighbour. It's been around eight months of living next door to one another, and he doesn't think he's actually ever seen her. Once, he decided he'd try to confront her when she left her room, but just kept missing the opportunity.

Unlike his previous three years of university, Levi had decided to bunk alone for the final climb of his undergrad degree. His friends would all be upstairs somewhere, either in studios of their own or sharing six-bed flats amongst themselves, but God knew that Levi needed the space this time around.

In his first year, he'd shared with quite possibly the worst human beings he'd ever had the displeasure of knowing. He spent more time at Erwin's flat than his own, which is why he ended up moving in with him in his second year. Then, he took a spontaneous study abroad for his third year (spontaneous, as in all of his friends were doing the same thing, and there was no way he was staying here on his own when they were out having the greatest times in different countries), and now, in his fourth and final year, Levi just wants to know that being alone doesn't have to be a luxury.

He needs the space, and the quiet. Granted, his studio is spacious, although it would be perfect if he wasn't on the ground floor with little to work with for a view. Eight months down the line, and he's still waiting for that promised peace and quiet.

There are two other people in this hallway, but his next-room neighbour, Room A, is by far the most interesting. He knows that the people in Room D are party animals, and during freshers week, they made that fact glaringly obvious. Room C are ghostly, silent most of the time until they remember that they, too, have music to play to block out other people's noise.

Levi likes being in Room B because it's not too far from the exit. If he were to open his door, he'd be adjacent to Room A; the space is so tight that he's not even sure they would be able to leave or enter at the same time.

The list of what he thinks he knows about his next-room neighbour is longer than what he actually knows. He knows for certain that she's female, and that she cares about the cleanliness of her flat. If Levi's not listening to the sound of other people's mess, he can hear her vacuuming every other day, which he can respect.

Levi knows that her name is Y/N, because he's heard it being called a few times, both for business and pleasure. He also knows that she's in her final year, just like him, because once he overheard her on a phone call complaining about her dissertation. That's about all he knows confidently.

The rest is speculation, things he thinks he knows from listening: he thinks she sleeps with the radiator off, because he always hears the switch in the morning. He thinks she keeps her keys on her door because he hears them clink when it closes, and he thinks she mumbles to herself sometimes, because the walls are thin and if she's not on the phone, then who could she be talking to?

Finally, Levi thinks that she might be a bit of a whore, and he means it endearingly, because the amount of times Levi has heard her fucking somebody is becoming ridiculous.

At first, Levi tried to be understanding. After all, it wasn't like she was screwing guys in the hallway. She was in her room, in her own time, and he tried to come to terms with that simply being out of his hands. The noise was unfortunate, yeah, but he could always put his headphones on for an hour or so.

Then it just kept happening, like clockwork, like some sick joke.

After about the sixth time, he was fed up. He'd thrown his headphones down, scowling angrily as his eyes flickered to the time in the corner of his computer screen — 1:23am. It was bad enough that he was working all night on his stupid assignment, and now his neighbour was screwing some asshole so loudly that he may as well have had no headphones on in the first place?

At least she sounded good.

Levi had deliberately ignored that thought for a while, until he heard her having sex with some guy a few months ago. He'd sighed, like a routine at that point, and remained seated on his couch, the remote in his hand ready to raise the volume of the football game on TV.

The noise was faint — if Levi had to predict based on the floor plans of their rooms, she'd probably be on her bed — but if he strained enough, he'd be able to hear her mewling, the even fainter sounds of slapping skin.

He sat there, silently, listening in like a priest taking confessions in church. His silence was judgement and equal measures of fascination. Having never really listened to her before, Levi never knew she sounded like that. Submissive, but seductive, dirty and slutty. Hm.

He had learned to respect her sex life — even creating his own for a while, too, giving her a taste of her own medicine. If anything, that only made things more lively in Room A. Somehow he blames himself for it having got to this point, presently, where he sits listening to her for the third time in a week — and it's not even Friday yet.

16:34 Levi: she's at it again 16:35 Erwin: AGAIN???? 16:37 Hange: isnt this like the fifth time this week? 16:37 Levi: third

Levi turns his chair to face the other wall, looking up at the blank plaster. There's another thud against it, and he blinks, his brows raised slightly. Is she fucking someone against the wall?

16:39 Furlan: theres no way its that bad 16:40 Furlan: send vid

After skimming over the texts, Levi's eyes flicker back to the wall. Then, he rises up from his chair and walks towards it, angling his body with his ear to the noise. Now that he's close, he can't hear a thing, and he scoffs — typical — and prepares to move away.

"Mphf — damn, bitch. You're more of a slut than I thought."

Levi stops.

Bringing his phone to his legs, Levi slumps his shoulder against the wall casually and almost cranes to listen. Without seeing anything, he feels like a fly on the wall. He hears someone with a deep voice grunting — he doesn't care about them — followed by occasional gasps, much softer, honeyed, elusive.

"You thought I was a slut?"

Levi hears her voice quivering, but there's little hurt in her tone. It's all lust, and he can hear the smile in her words.

For a second, Levi hears her body thud against the wall again and he flinches backwards. She must be directly on the other side — if the bricks weren't there, her body would be up against his own.

"Dunno what I thought," the male voice says, strained. "Wasn't-expecting-this. Shit, that's tight."

"Mm. You like it?" There's a beat of silence, and the faint sounds of breathy moans, high in an octave that sends goosebumps pricking over Levi's arms. "You like me?"

"Like your pussy. Shit, girl."

With every imagined thrust, Levi can hear her moaning, her voice raising as the pace fastens. Levi stands there, his eyes zoning out on the crack under his door and eventually, he pulls back. There's a slight ringing in his ears, and blood rushes to the tips.

16:51 Levi: phone can't pick up the volume 16:51 Levi: just trust me

It happened two more times before the weekend rolled by, and Levi thought that she must be on a conquest of bedding every guy on campus. Half of him thought it was to spite him specifically, although he wasn't even sure that she knew what she was doing was bothering him so much.

Friday evening had been a strange eve of silence, but he still felt on edge, as if waiting for the sounds to emerge. The weekend soon enough rolled by with no more sexscapades, and he felt almost a sag of relief in his shoulders.

Levi had just gotten out of the shower when he heard a knock on his door.

"Oh. It's you."

When he pulls it open, inwards on his own room, Levi props his weight against the door and stares out at Reiner, who is holding a light board under his armpit. Reiner holds it out to him with a nonchalant shrug and holds the door open with his foot as Levi takes the board with a raised brow and plonks it onto his bed.

Reiner stands in the doorway until he comes back, not quite daring to enter.

"I need one of those," Reiner offers in conversation.

"Well, you've got a job, buy one,” Levi replies, making Reiner smirk. "If you've broke it, then you can pay for it."

Reiner throws up his hands, "Hey, they don't call me the gentle giant for nothing."

Levi's face drops into a disapproving frown, "Nobody calls you that."

"You're right," Reiner sighs with a charming grin and then folds his arms.

Reiner and Levi know one another from one of their elective classes, and by some magical fate — or a wild coincidence — Reiner had been a mutual friend of one of his closest friends since first year. He also lives upstairs on the third floor, alongside some other guys and a girl that Levi didn't know very well, but had met once at a party and had kissed. He'd considered bringing her back to his room just to torment his neighbour but passed up the temptation.

Thinking of his neighbour, Levi's eyes quickly dash to her door, wondering if she might be inside and listening to them. Reiner doesn’t catch the look — or maybe he does, prompting him to his next sentence.

"You should come out tonight," Reiner suggests.

"Where?"

"A few of us are getting some drinks at Sonny's," he says. "Feel like I haven't seen you properly since that party, like, what, three months ago? You should get out more, have fun." Then, Reiner's smile widens and he, too, glances to his left to Room A, "Escape your sex fiend of a neighbour."

Levi might have cringed at the thought of her listening in, but to his surprise, he found a thrill rush through his body. Maybe she was listening right now, curled up to the door.

"I don't like Sonny's," Levi replies.

"Oh, you've been there before?"

"No. But I saw it on Eren's Instagram once, and it looked awful, sorry."

Laughing, Reiner shrugs his shoulders. "I don't care. It's just nice to get out. Really — what if we changed bars, would you come then?"

Just as he says that a soft thud can be heard from behind him, beyond the walls of the thin hallway that houses Levi’s room and his neighbours'. Levi almost cranes to catch the sound, half expecting his party animal hall-mates from Room D to come bounding inside, dressed in flamboyant attire to listen to loud music whilst getting ready to hit the town for the Friday deals that bars boasted of to rowdy students.

Instead, the door just to the right of Reiner swings open and a young woman steps inside. Levi blinks — depending on which direction she goes in, Levi's life could get a little bit more interesting.

Levi knows that he’s seen her before in the common room, chatting to other friends around a pool table, or shaking a vending machine with a stranger to try and free an overpriced bottle of Dr Pepper from the machine's claws.

Levi blinks once again, and Reiner turns at the sound of the door creaking open, and the breath almost leaves Levi's body in one giant exhale when she steps in their direction, towards Room A.

Ah. So this is Y/N.

Reiner's eyes move up and down with intrigue as she — you — step closer towards them. Judging by your almost surprised gaze, and the flit of your eyes as you look between them and the door to Room A, even Reiner knows that you are the aforementioned sex fiend, the famous neighbour who screws guys all the time and makes Levi all hot and bothered.

Nothing is said — there is nothing to be said. For a split second, you pause, judging the space past Reiner to your door, to your sanctuary, meanwhile, the two men size you up, intrigued by your very existence. Levi feels his conversation skills run dry — what could he say now that you were here?

He has to confess, against his previous wishes, that you were pretty. Beautiful, even. He tries to downplay it by thinking about you pushed up against the wall with a cunt full of someone else's cock, but if anything the thought only makes things worse.

As you push through the awkward silence of the hallway, Reiner slightly inches closer to Levi, as if to give you space as you stride by. To their surprise, you do so with a lifted gaze, having the nerve to look shy, guilty, friendly.

Everything would be easier if you weren't his type, weren't Reiner's type. Levi thinks about that for a second as his friend devours the sight of you, and Levi feels his stomach dip. He's never even spoken to you before, but he feels like Reiner has just crossed a boundary somehow.

The fact of you being as pretty as you sound, as desirable as Levi imagined you had to be to bring so many people back to your den (either irresistible or slutty, but sometimes those went hand in hand and he knew it) just makes the dull ache in his abdomen worse, his heartbeat fluttering ever so out of pace.

As you pass, you peer over at the two men, gazing at Levi in particular. You even look around him, eyeing his room. Then, when you look back at Levi, it’s as if something clicks — it was as if you registered that this man had been enduring your fucks and flirts for weeks and weeks on end, and had been courteous with not complaining once.

You look at him, over him, sizing him up greedily. Levi moves from foot to foot in a way that looks impatient, although he isn’t sure he's fully convinced you of his indifference when you smile charmingly, your cheekbones full and round.

"Hello," you say — Levi almost buckles. He's only ever heard your voice through walls and doors, never face to face. He blinks dumbly, says nothing.

"Hey," is what Reiner offers with a wide grin, his gaze flickering to your body and then back to your face. But you don’t look back, only look over Reiner's shoulder to Levi, and then turn to your door and thrust the key into the hole.

Your door untwists, unlocks, and in you go. After it closes and clicks with the lock, Levi hears you shuffling in your room, and then he finally looks back at Reiner.

For once, Reiner says nothing. He raises his eyebrows and pulls a face, one that Levi rolls his eyes at, and then Reiner claps his hands together and announces his silent leave.

Levi watches as if frozen in place as Reiner leaves the hallway, and when his own door closes with a slight tick, he strains to hear you beyond the wall, but can hear nothing.

A whole day has passed since then, but Levi can’t stop thinking about it.

He hasn’t left his room all day, to the stressed displeasure of his friends. The hallway has been frozen in a quiet stillness, with nobody coming and going at any point. Levi hasn’t heard you stirring since you walked past him and Reiner the day before, but he supposes he’s just thankful that he has no fears of being bombarded with sex for hours on end, or minutes at a time depending on which loser you lure home.

Levi drops his plate into the sink, sighing with both hands flat on the side of the counter. To the left, he casts a dirty glance out the window, looking at the grey landscape beyond the glass. The car park to the hotel that is tucked neatly behind his building is virtually empty, and the giant lake-sized puddles ripple with rain. He felt like it always rained here.

Listening to the rain, Levi finishes his ritual of cleaning the dishes and then turns off the tap with another sigh. It has just been too quiet today — unnervingly quiet, in a way that makes Levi feel more on edge than at ease. He's been craving this taste of silence for so long, but now that it’s here, everything just feels off.

He pinches the bridge of his nose with an irritated exhale and moves through the thin archway to get to his bedroom, near the front door, when he hears something beyond the threshold of Room A next door. Levi stops in place.

The noise is so faint that he almost misses it. He leans his head closer in the direction of the wall, waiting for the next sound to give when he hears it again — a breathy whimper. The whimper transforms into a moan, one that Levi can hear as clearly as he would if he were in the room. There are no other voices, and Levi pulls away from the wall quickly like it's on fire.

No. It can’t be.

Levi finds it both annoying and amusing when he hears you entangled with some random guy every other day, but just the possibility of it being you, and you alone, in your room with nobody but your fingers, makes Levi’s throat tighten.

Before, it felt as though your sex life was a performance intended for Levi to listen to, but now that it’s just you, the moment feels private and intimate, and Levi doesn’t know what to do.

The moaning continues, staggered, stuttered, falling and rising in a tempo he knows only the hand of the moaner can create. By now, he’s somewhat of an expert on your noises, how you respond to whatever your partner is doing — the unfamiliarity of your pleasure tonight has thrown him off, and all Levi can do is apologise in his head and pull himself back against the wall.

He’s come this far listening to you play with others. It would just be unfair not to hear how you really like it when you’re alone.

Levi can’t be sure what it is you’re actually doing; he’ll have to leave it to his imagination to conjure up the perfect image of you on your bed, legs spread, fingers stuffed up your cunt. He closes his eyes as he leans his head against the plaster, quite literally straining to hear every gasp leaving your mouth.

The world seems to slow around him, the sounds of your one-man show all he can hear. All of a sudden, he’s thankful for the unnatural silence of the hallway outside so he can hear it all.

What he pictures is lewd and perfect; you’re biting your lip probably, trying to contain yourself as you plunge your fingers deeper inside your pussy, curling them in a way nobody else can. The lights are dimmed, but in his mind, the picture of your body is crystal clear; the shape of your body is outlined by light, shadows cast attractively around the perk of your breasts, the glisten of crystalline sweat on your skin.

With your chest rising, Levi watches in his mind as your thighs quiver, your knuckles pushing against your opening — if it was possible to get more of your finger in there, you’d do it.

Your fingers slide in and out covered in wetness, each plunge inside accompanied by another moan that makes him shudder. Levi’s ear is flat against the wall, his cock hardening uncomfortably beneath his joggers.

All of a sudden, the shame of eavesdropping washes over him and he pulls away, breathing heavily as he moves from the wall to the bathroom. For good measure, he slams the door behind him, immediately turning on the tap and washing his face. What was he thinking?

Thankfully, there’s nobody to greet his ashamed walk back into his bedroom. He rubs the side of his face with a groan and glances back at the wall. For a moment, he pauses, but he hears no more sound.

Levi’s been in a sour mood since the weekend, and nobody around him knows how to solve it.

At first, it had started with the dream he’d had; the dream where he’d shoved your head into a pillow and fucked your brains out, which woke him with a start and another guilty walk to the bathroom. Then, he’d turned up late to his class and simultaneously discovered that Reiner had, in fact, broken the light board he loaned him the other week.

After that, he received a bitchy email from the receptionist at his building about upcoming fire alarm inspections, and because he’d been too busy looking at his phone, Levi had slammed into a group of first-year girls in the library and caused one of them to drop all of her books and her coffee on the floor. Now, his wallet was five pounds lighter and his expression was sour, and no matter how hard his friends tried to coax him out of his foulness, it was no use.

“At least you bought her another coffee,” says Eren with a shrug as he watches the flustered first-year disappear out of the student café with her friend.

“Not the point, dipshit.”

“It’s probably ‘cause of the lack of sleep this man gets thanks to his harlot neighbour,” Hange suggests, their shoulders hunched as they finish up one of their handouts for their evening class.

At that, Reiner looks up from his phone and adds, “Hot harlot neighbour.”

“Is she actually?” asks Erwin. “I don’t know if I can trust your judgement in women, Reiner.”

“She is beautiful,” Levi mutters reluctantly, his face still drawn together with irritance. Admitting that fact only makes him feel worse, especially when the memory of his dream creeps back into his mind. He sighs and rubs his neck. “But she hasn’t really made any noise in a while.”

“Maybe she’s on her period,” says Eren unhelpfully.

“Whores are on the pill,” Porco adds, suddenly reminding Levi of his presence. The blond-haired guy sits to the right with a coffee in one hand and a bagel in the other.

“Don’t you think it’s kind of sexist to call her a whore when I know most of you probably have higher body counts?” replies Isabel. She’s crept up on the knit of friends, but contrary to normal, her being here doesn’t make Levi feel any better. Right now, there are simply too many witnesses to his misery.

Eren shrugs. “Fine. Then she’s a slut.”

“As if that’s any better,” Isabel says dumbly. “You guys are pigs.”

“But she is beautiful,” Reiner says again. “I’m telling you — it’s a miracle Levi hasn’t made his move yet. If I lived next door to someone who looked like that…” He trails off. Levi cringes. How did he end up being friends with the worst people in the world?

Reiner sells Levi as actually having enough confidence to get up and knock on her door, when the truth of the matter is that Levi is too afraid to even approach the wall when he hears a noise anymore. In the time between him listening to you finger-fucking yourself and him having such an out-of-pocket dream about you, Levi hasn’t even wanted to listen to anything he hears outside of his room, too afraid of what he might do or think if he hears you again.

Besides, what would he even do? It’s been almost eight months of sharing a wall, and he’s come no closer to knowing you or anything about you. You’re as familiar to him as any stranger in this café, but the only difference is that he’s heard the way you whimper when your cunt is stuffed with cock and you’re up against the wall, which most people would have trouble competing with.

When you know how someone sounds when they’re most likely cumming on someone else’s dick, it’s an unbeatable bond.

Levi looks up at Reiner as if to say something, but then his eyes are drawn to the doors to the café. They widen suddenly, and after watching his expression shift, Reiner follows his gaze and looks over his shoulder.

After a few seconds, he whips his head back to the group and hisses, “That’s her!”

The speed at which their heads turn is almost funny to Levi, and he might have laughed had he not been so full of mortified fear at the sight of you.

You look pretty today — really pretty. Pretty in a way that Levi can’t even begin to make sense of considering the only way he’s seen you so far is in glimpses, in the corridor dressed in comfy clothes, or stark naked with his dick up your snatch in his head. His whole body fills with a sticky heat as he narrows his gaze on you, hoping that by staring you might disappear like a mirage and spare him the embarrassment due to come.

But nothing ever goes the way Levi wants it to. He breathes in heavily when your gaze pans across the room as if you’re searching for someone, stopping with a comical wide-eyed look of surprise when you see a group of six or so people all watching you with strange intensity.

Levi is not at all prepared for the way your brows knit together in confusion as you assess the strangers, only to raise in acknowledgement when you finally look at him for a moment too long.

Words are not needed to convey the silent series of events that spiral after that look. Levi knows instantly what you’re thinking and what it means. He knows that you know he’s told everybody about you — and he knows that you know he knows who you are and how often you do what you do.

There’s no way of explaining how confident he is that you’ve cracked the code in your head — he doesn’t know anything at all, only that when your face brightens into a smile he knows he’s screwed.

So fucking screwed.

“Oh shit, you were right,” Porco says after a while of mutual silence, and Levi is strangely grateful for the distraction of his voice as he turns back to his friend. “She’s hot!”

“And you’re being fucking loud, shut up,” Levi grumbles, his face scrunched into such a tight frown that it hurts to hold it. “Yes, that’s her. So what.”

“She’s looking at you,” Hange says rather unhelpfully. They’re sitting with their elbows on their spread legs, head low as they glance at you over the top of their glasses. Their brows are so high they might as well become a part of their hairline as they say a few seconds later, “Still looking.” A beat, and then, “Still looking.”

Levi huffs quietly, trying to find something interesting on the low table in the middle of the group to latch onto. All he can find are some of Hange’s papers and Porco’s bagel wrapper — neither are particularly inspiring to stare at, but he stares anyway, acutely aware of the heavy weight of your gaze on the side of his face as you approach the coffee counter.

“Maybe it’s because you’re all fucking gawking at her,” Levi replies stiffly.

To their credit, the group does their best to mask their very obvious staring, but Levi already knows that their hanging mouths have caused irreparable damage. He makes it a point not to look back over at you, and based on how his friends try to busy themselves with random things, he guesses you’ve reluctantly looked away from them and are currently buying something.

After today, Levi will never come here again — he’s just suddenly remembered that you’re real, and the notion of seeing you out in public just became his next biggest worry.

“Maybe you should go and say hi,” Isabel suggests, her mouth full around a bite of brownie.

Levi looks at her with an incredulous look. “And why would I do that?”

“She’s your neighbour,” Isabel replies slowly. “It’s polite. And friendly.”

“I’ll go and say hi, if you want,” offers Reiner. When Levi throws him a dirty look, he says, “What? She smiled at me before. I might be her next conquest.”

“Not much of a challenge for her,” Levi mutters. Besides, you weren’t even looking at Reiner back then — but as soon as the thought comes to his head he immediately exiles it. He’s not going to stoop as low as to fight Reiner on it; it will only deepen the hole he’s dug himself now that he's opened his mouth and told people about you.

After around four minutes, Levi has exhausted all possible resorts of interest around the table and anxiously rubs the back of his neck. Reiner still has his head looking up towards the coffee counter, but the others have mercifully ceased their curious staring. He levels his breathing and takes a quick swig of his tea, all before absentmindedly turning his head to look over his shoulder.

Your back is facing everyone, your head thrown back in laughter at something someone next to you is saying. Levi represses the urge to bristle at his own thoughts of what you might be laughing at, what possibly makes you laugh and smile — what coffee did you order, or maybe you are a tea person? Hot chocolate? Levi’s face falls into a narrow look of horror — Jesus Christ, he’s in so deep and over what? The sound of you?

Levi decides that he’s possibly gone insane after a long four years in academia and rests his cheek on his shoulder for a minute, gaze low. His friends are right, to a fault; he could just talk to you, scratch the itch until it’s gone and he can relax and live like a normal human being again. But that would involve taking initiative and actually confronting you, which in the grand scheme of things seems like a terrible idea.

He’d rather just forget about the delusional display of heated fantasies he’s conjured up after getting just a peek at you.

“Oh, shit. She’s looking again.”

It’s embarrassing how quickly Levi looks back at you without even thinking about it.

Sure enough, you’re looking back at the group, a cup of something steaming in your hand as your friend leads the way through a cluster of tables towards the double doors leading out onto the wide front courtyard. The screaming voice in his head is commanding Levi to look away, but he just can’t.

He watches you as you look back at him, mapping out every detail he possibly can while he has the chance to just look without any consequence, and feels his breathing constrict when you smile, so softly that it knocks the literal wind from his lungs, and raise your free hand in a wave.

And he doesn’t even move.

Somewhere behind him, Levi hears Reiner snigger and the brawny guy lifts his own hand to wave back at you, a grin plastered on his face. Your eyes barely move to look at Reiner in acknowledgement before locking back onto Levi with an almost hopeful look, and now would be a great time for Levi to move or do something in response, but he doesn’t. And he doesn’t know how to respond when your smile deepens into a smirk, almost like that was exactly what you wanted him to do.

“Why does she look down bad?” Eren asks quietly, making Porco cackle with a laugh that makes you look away and slink after your friend. Levi affords himself the time to watch you go, watching the way your ass moves in your jeans, the way your breasts bounce in that shirt, the way your waist looks and the way your hair moves and the way your smile widens—

“You’re a lucky son of a bitch,” Porco says, shaking his head with an amused look on his face. “If I lived next to someone who looked like that, and looked at me like that—”

“Well, you don’t, so fuck off,” Levi snaps. Wrong answer: the boys in his group laugh even louder, and Levi wants to shrink to the size of an ant and drown in his tea.

God. Levi realises with a gigantic sigh that today has been a long ass day.

Levi rubs his hair with the towel and glares at his reflection in the mirror. He stares, long and hard, and frowns at what looks back. For a guy who is to be considered “grown”, he cannot believe how stupid he's being, how stupid his brain is.

He has never once had a crush on somebody he’s never even met before, and only actually seen properly about two times. In the long four years of being in this city, Levi has never entertained an interest in anybody, mostly because he felt he didn’t have the patience for a relationship nor the time, which is why the way he’s feeling now is all the more bothersome — and even worse when the person he’s having trouble understanding his feelings for is someone he’s barely met, never talked to, and knows likes cock more than the air they breathe.

It is simply outrageous that he likes you so much. And he’s not even sure if what he feels would qualify as liking you.

Levi has never spoken one word to you and has never made any effort to do so, but alongside the audible archive of moans he has of yours in his memory and the mapped-out beauty of your face, Levi can distinguish that the pooling pit of desire in his tummy is closer to a crush than it is just general appreciation. And this feeling sucks.

Suddenly, Levi thinks back to seeing you in the student café and physically cringes at his reflection. All that for what? A smile? He is pathetic — Levi cannot believe that he has become such a strange man, and it is entirely your fault for being so pretty. And sounding so fucking sexy.

Levi hangs his towel on the small heated towel rack and washes his hands, hoping that in a metaphorical sense, it will wash away all of the terrible thoughts he’s having. Then, he shakes them dry and flicks off the bathroom switch, striding back into his room with a sinking feeling of emptiness.

He makes his way to the kitchen and looks longingly at the kettle. A cup of tea would do wonders for the creeping headache forming in his skull, but like the idiot he’s suddenly turned out to be, Levi instead leans up on his toes to grab a bottle of whiskey from on top of the fridge and finds an accompanying glass to pour himself a drink.

It’s been a long day, and he needs something strong. Quite frankly, Levi thinks he also deserves it.

For most of the evening, Levi entertains himself with his whiskey bottle, a glass and whatever the hell his TV can pick up in the black spot he calls home. He’s not sure how many glasses he’s had by the time he hears the corridor door swing open with its alarmingly loud squeal, but judging by how the room seems to tilt on its axis, Levi would wager a guess as to believe he’s had at least more than six glasses.

He feels his heart in his ears, pounding like a war drum, and he immediately reaches for the remote and turns down the volume. Like a cat, he feels his ears prick at the slightest sounds, and quite quickly, it’s as though stones are weighing down his stomach when he hears a boyish kind of snigger in the hallway, followed by the sound of keys in Room A’s door.

Please no. Not right now.

Not when Levi’s trying to come to terms with the unnatural feelings he’s somehow garnered for you.

Levi hears you shush the guy of the night and push open your door, its hinges moaning with relief when both of you stumble inside and it closes with a click. It’s almost embarrassing how quiet Levi has gone in an effort to eavesdrop — as much as he dislikes the idea of you being fucked by some random guy, he has to admit that he’s come to find some enjoyment in the vision of you being destroyed, in the music made by your pleasure. It took a while to admit it, but now that he has, it’s like a weight being lifted.

Once again, he is left to wonder what you’re doing when he can no longer hear your moans or the guy’s stupid voice muttering: Levi’s imagined you stumbling through the narrow passage past the bathroom and towards your bed, arms snug around the guy’s chest. You’ve probably sat down, and the guy is between your legs holding your face with his hands.

Only you haven’t. Levi hears a familiar thump against the wall and his eyes widen excitedly.

“Get this shit off.” Levi hears the guy grunt unhappily, and, hey wait, when did Levi suddenly end up listening so close to the wall?

“You don’t like it?” you ask, your voice so quiet through the thin layer of brick separating you from Levi’s ear.

“Like it better when it's not on,” the guy groans, and a few more thumps against the wall sound along with a strange dragging noise that Levi presumes might be your back. “God, you’re so hot.”

Well, that they can both agree on.

Levi closes his eyes as your voice begins to rise, foolishly high and breathy and in a way that makes Levi’s dick harden under his clothes. He pictures your face in his head, thrown back in a twist of pleasure, and fights the urge to grip his cock with his hand — he loses the battle and curses as he grabs his dick and begins to pump his wrist.

Levi leans his back against the wall and dips his head low to his chest, his eyes unwillingly fixed on the sight of his own cock hardening in his hand. Levi acknowledges that jerking off to his neighbour having a shag is a bit weird, but it could be worse, and as long as you can’t see him, he doesn’t care.

He tightens his grip around his dick and drags his hand up and down, biting down on his lip to keep his satisfied groans from eliciting any unwanted attention.

On the other side of the wall, you feel the brick behind your head as the stranger lifts one of your legs up over his shoulder, falling to his knees like a beggar and lifting the bottom half of your skirt up over your hips. At some point during your ungracious entry into the bedroom, the man managed to slip down your panties and now has full, unrestricted access to your cunt, and wastes no time pushing his head between your thighs.

Feeling the man’s tongue running flat up your slit, you moan breathlessly and stare up at the ceiling. You’ve fucked so many men it’s impossible to remember all of them, but you never get bored of the feeling of someone’s tongue up your pussy. Your heart stammers in your chest as you peer down at the stranger; his face is pushed between your legs and hidden from view, leaving you with nothing but dark locks of hair to gaze at, hunched shoulders and a pale hand pressing into your leg.

Admittedly, the only reasons you picked this stranger to approach in the bar had been because of the way he looked, and you close your eyes and let your jaw hang open in pleasure, all while your thoughts linger on who you pretend is between your legs instead of him.

“You taste amazing,” the guy groans into you, and you smile pleasantly. Everybody likes being complimented, don’t they?

“Yeah?” you ask, smoothing one of your hands up around your tit, “It’s all yours.”

The guy groans, as does Levi, who’s listening so loyally that he might as well smash a hole in the wall and look through. Nothing is left to imagination anymore; it’s as if you’re narrating your night just for Levi’s sake.

“Yeah. You’re right. This pussy’s mine,” the guy laughs, nipping his teeth against your inner thigh and making you squeal unexpectedly.

“Come on,” you rasp, worming your fingers through his twirly locks of hair with a slight grip. He winces and looks up at you from over your stomach, eyes dark and wide with the pain of your fingers tightening around his curls. “Fuck me, big guy. I want your cock.”

Levi’s wrist quickens. He blames the whiskey for the strangled little pathetic sound that burns in his throat, but there’s no way you heard it. Although these walls are so thin that he can hear every sound you make, there’s no way you can hear any of his noises. The logic defies Levi at that moment.

“God damn, you really are a needy girl, aren't you?”

No, you’re not, Levi thinks. Only you are — you grin down at the handsome man removing himself from between your legs and shuffle closer to grab a taste of yourself from his lips. He groans into your mouth, one hand on your ass and the other around the back of your neck.

With his arms around you, the man guides you towards the end of your bed and ungracefully drops you down, groaning when you bite your bottom lip and stare up at him with an expectant look in your eyes. Levi could only dream of what makes the stranger growl like that as he strains to listen in. You open your legs to invite him in, watching as he pulls a condom from his back pocket and takes his jeans down to his ankles.

Levi’s cock is throbbing, the tip an angry shade of red as he swipes his thumb and smears a slip of pre-cum across the curved edge. Levi inhales deeply, feeling his whole body stiffen as he pulls his fist up and down, the fingers on his other hand grazing across his balls with a sensitive flush. He hears you moan outrageously loud and his wrist trembles — he must have slipped it in.

You tighten your legs around the stranger, pulling him and his dick further into your cunt, the wetness of it slippery and inviting and divinely powerful. Every man you’ve had up there has made a comment on how good it feels, and as the guy moans loudly and tells you it’s the best pussy he’s had, you think of your neighbour; his surprised expression when he saw you in the café, the way his friends threw him looks when you smiled.

You know he’s been listening (if he hasn’t, then he’s admirably unbothered or deaf), and the thought excites you wildly.

You look beyond the man and to the wall, imagining your neighbour staring at the brick with a blank expression. Maybe he’s angry that you have another man over. You hope he is.

Biting back a laugh, you moan for good measure and match every thrust with a sound. The guy stuffed inside of you mutters a string of curses, chest puffed with pride, oblivious to the vision you have in your head of your neighbour snug between your thighs, his face steeled into his usual displeasure.

“Mmf, yes,” you whine, a little louder than you usually would. “Right there.”

“Say my name,” the guy growls, slapping your thigh rather sharply, “like a good girl.”

You flush, knees practically bent over to your chest as he folds you in half. For a second, you can’t even think of his name, don’t know if he ever even told you. Instead of wounding his pride, you drop a few girly moans and hope it distracts him, which it does. You wonder what would happen if you were to moan out your neighbours name — if you even knew it, that is.

“Oh, god,” you moan genuinely and close your eyes as the man sinks his cock in further. Thank goodness this man’s dick is long, you think, feeling the tip brush against a weak spot inside of you. The mattress beneath your spine is shaking uncontrollably, and the man peers down at you with a glint in his eye.

Levi’s head leans back and a breathless groan escapes — fuck, he thinks, but there’s no time to take it back, and certainly no chance he’s been heard.

Unbeknownst to Levi, your ears prick up curiously. The man snug inside of you looks at your face with an equal amount of curiosity, his hands wide against your skin as he fucks you at an unmeasurably quick pace. It’s as if he has somewhere else to be than here, but the pressing wrinkle in his forehead deepens as he fucks you harder, nails digging into your skin, spit flying from his mouth to your breasts.

“My friend said your pussy was good, but I didn’t think it would be this good,” the guy says, his voice raspy. All you can currently focus on is the squelch between your legs, and for a hopeful sound of annoyance from your neighbour.

When nothing comes, you opt for staring up at the guy with wide eyes, as if the thought of being passed around a few friends shocks you. In actual fact, you could care less, just as long as you both feel good.

His next few thrusts knock the wind out of you, and Levi clings to those pitched sounds like they’re his new lifeline. Pumping the length of his cock with his hand, Levi clamps his eyes closed and tries not to become self-aware of what the fuck he’s doing, instead focusing all of his energy on the twisting ache in his stomach and the dull groan of his wrist bones.

What Levi does next horrifies him. His hips jerk suddenly, his breathing laboured as he imagines himself in your room between your legs. Just the thought of looming over you, chest bowed over yours, your legs over his shoulders as he sinks himself into your cunt. The look of pleasured joy on your face, that stupidly beautiful smile lifted so high.

In the swirling darkness of his closed eyes, Levi conjures up images of you flustered and naked, covered in sweat and cum and as your breasts bounce the shine on your body curves — fucking hell, he’s in so deep, he’s so fucked.

“Oh! Oh, there, yep, there — hmpf!”

Levi hears you so loudly that it’s as if you’re panting it in his ears. He fists his dick almost furiously, feeling the creeping heat move across his body like a wildfire. The phantom illusion of your body underneath him pulses, the feeling of your cunt wet and squishing around him feels so real he might believe it if he weren’t uncomfortably self-aware of how screwed up he is, fantasising about a girl he’s never even talked to before.

Even through the wall, Levi can hear your bed rattling against the opposite wall, each slap of skin as the stranger fucks himself into you; Levi zeros in on the sounds and produces the perfect scene in his head, one that makes his dick twitch in his hand and his feet slip slightly across the wooden floor.

His chest rises and falls heavily, his hands trembling, his balls so sensitive he’s resorted to clinging to the wall like a rock climber with one hand while he pumps his cock with the other. Listening to you being fucked stupid is going to make him cum all over himself, and for a split second, that seems fine. That would be okay.

“Goddamn. You’re tighter than I expected,” the guy says, which sends Levi over the edge.

He groans softly at the floor and feels his whole body trembling as the coil in his stomach suddenly releases, and a string of cum shoots from the end of his cock. Levi keeps pumping, cum falling down his hand and to the floor in a grossly filthy manner, one that he’s trying his best not to stress over as he focuses all of his energy and thoughts on the hand wrapped around his cock and how badly he wishes it was your pussy gripping him instead.

When he does open his eyes, Levi blinks away the blurry tunnel vision and tries to catch his breath, now uncomfortably aware of the sticky mess covering his hand and the floor around his feet. For a second, he feels complete bliss — until the ringing in his ears subsides and he hears you whining in that pretty fucking voice you have, and the shame washes over him like a bucket of cold water.

Levi forces himself up off the wall and stares back at it, almost as if it might transform into a window for you to gape at him, the dirty eavesdropper who just had an orgasm over a daydream and the sound of his neighbour fucking some random guy. He blinks in horror.

The guy screwing you groans like an animal — a dying animal, Levi thinks bitterly, until he realises that he’s the first person to have orgasmed in the strange threesome and he isn’t even in the room.

Although guilt is consuming him, Levi can’t commit to pulling away yet. He might as well see it through to the end now that he’s become a part of it all.

Your cunt clenches around the guy’s cock like a vice, coaxing whatever last reserves of self-restraint he has before he grunts out a loud, “Fuck!” and slams his hips into you one last time, filling the condom with cum.

You feel the warmth bulging inside of you — lucky for someone to have gotten off in this exchange. Your pussy throbs and you squirm unhappily, hoping he might keep going.

“More?” the guy asks, breathless and shocked. “For real?”

“Mm. More, I need more,” you tell him, your walls fluttering around him. “Please, please give me more—”

No, no, no, Levi thinks in a panic. Please no more! As if being subjected to listening to some guy cumming after being in your pussy was bad enough, Levi wants nothing more than for it all to be over so he doesn’t have to listen anymore. He knows he could easily put in earphones and tune you both out, but that’s not the point.

Still, he feels a sudden rush of bitter hatred when the guy slaps your skin and makes you whine, all before laughing and pulling out. Levi hears nothing for a moment until he hears a drawer pulling open and slamming shut, and he thinks in a hot flush that he’s about to have a terribly unhappy night listening to you getting screwed again.

You watch the stranger shake his cock for a moment once the old and used condom is off, and he quickly puts on a new one while he’s still hard and admirably shoves himself back inside. Your wet warmth welcomes him back encouragingly, and there’s no trouble keeping him hard once you’ve gripped him back inside. The man shifts himself inside of you and moves in and out, his eyes trained carefully on your face as if assessing your enjoyment.

He creeps a hand between your legs and thumbs the hood of your pussy, and your eyes flash open with surprise at the feeling of his thumb on your clit.

“My god, you’re fucking gorgeous,” he comments, and Levi curses.

This can’t go on! Levi feels his mind reeling and he refuses to take responsibility for what his body does next; he wipes his hand on his joggers and glares at the door. Taking a few strides towards it, Levi forgets the cum on the floor and grabs one of his jumpers, pulling it over his head as he grabs his five seconds of courage by the balls and swings his door open.

The sound of you being fucked is made even more pronounced in the hallway. Levi’s never admired his other hall-mates until now, because he knows they’re all either listening in the same horror as Levi used to or they’re out somewhere missing all of the drama. Still, Levi feels his heart thumping wildly in his chest as he raises his fist, and without thinking any of it through, he bangs his hand on your door three loud times.

The sounds cease.

Levi hears a flustered “fuck!” and a confused moan, each one from a different person, and now that he’s knocked, Levi knows if he does a runner, you’ll only know it was him when his door shuts in the now uncomfortable silence. Standing in the hallway, he knows he has to live out his embarrassment and see it through.

The stranger pulls out of you in a fluster, staring down at you with surprise. “Should we answer it?”

You crane to listen, half-hoping it was a knock on someone else’s door and not your own, but you reluctantly glance up at him in shock and pick yourself up off the bed.

“Um…” you start, flustered and scanning the floor for something to put on. You spot your dressing gown slung over the chair at your desk and reach for it, giving the guy a pointed look as he scrambles for his underwear. You hoped it wouldn’t have, but the vibe is killed rather cruelly by whoever is banging your door so loudly.

Tying the cord around your waist, you pass by the guy with a sheepish smile and smooth a hand across his chest. In a way, the stranger is surprisingly handsome, especially considering you only picked him out for the way his hair looked. He grins after a while and grabs his shirt, holding it in his hand as he leans to kiss your lips and slither past you.

“Lemme get it,” he suggests, already making his way to the door. You let him go without protest, simply standing to the side as he reaches the door, twists the handle and pulls it open. The map of muscles in his back tense when he sees Levi standing outside.

“Levi,” he says dumbly. Levi blinks in confusion. How does he know this guy, and more importantly, how does this guy know him? The stranger seems to pick up on his blatant confusion and shifts uncomfortably, “It’s Samuel. I live in Isabel’s flat.”

Levi visibly grimaces.

This city is just too small and he hates it so much. Why the fuck did the guy fucking you have to be someone in close connection to one of his closest friends, and why the fuck did it have to be the guy involved in the sex Levi has just jerked off to?

“We met?” Levi decides to ask.

“Not officially,” mutters Samuel.

Levi ignores him and glances back into the darkness, schooling his features into disinterest with all of his strength when he sees you standing in the shadows.

The revealing V of your dressing gown attracts his attention, his eyes trained on the curving line of your breasts pushed together by your folded arms. He looks up to your neck and face, shining with a thin sheen of sweat, and then finally acknowledges your face.

Your makeup is smudged in a way that makes Levi’s cock twitch again, but he refuses to feed in to the pleasure he so badly wants to seek at the sight of you, fucked-out and equally surprised to see him standing like a loser in your doorway. You take a single step forward in what looks like wonder.

“What…are you doing here?” Samuel asks hesitantly.

Levi remembers he’s there and glares at him. “I live next door.”

“Oh,” says Samuel.

“I don’t care that you’re fucking. Trust me, I don’t.” He’s lying. “But can you be quiet about it?”

His voice cuts deep, making Samuel flinch, but in Levi’s peripheral he sees your face twist into an amused smile, your feet shuffling across the wooden floor to arrive by Samuel’s side.

“She’s not that loud,” Samuel attempts to say, in a pathetically unenthusiastic voice. Even he must know to an extent that you’re actually extremely loud.

Levi’s brows raise. “It’s not her I’m bothered about.”

“Oh,” Samuel says again. He turns to look at you like a deer caught in the headlights, but when his face drops at the look of amusement on your face, something tells Levi that Samuel may have expected you to defend him the way he just tried to defend you.

Samuel’s eyes narrow and he snatches himself away from the door to find his shoes and phone. “Whatever man. She’s a slut anyway, you must be used to it by now.”

Levi hums, his eyes on you as you look back at him, unmoving, unbothered. Your eyes drop suddenly to his bottoms before pulling back up with your brows raised. After looking down with reluctance, Levi spots the cum he wiped on his joggers in a smudge across his thigh and he pauses.

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

He can’t think of any other words.

Samuel slips his shoes back on and levels a dirty look in your direction, but you just smile sympathetically and wish him goodnight. He mutters something rude under his breath and barges past Levi on his way out, and Levi makes a point of watching Samuel go whilst trying to pretend that neither of you has just spotted what is drying to a crusty stain on his joggers.

Levi continues to stare down the hallway even when the door has slammed shut and Samuel has disappeared, but the sound of your feet shuffling on the floor makes him look back. He must be a good actor, because your brows furrow for a moment when you lock eyes, as if you aren’t sure whether or not he’s angry.

Of course, Samuel had been right. You were a loud fuck, you were a bit of a slut, and Levi is very familiar with the guests coming and going from your bedroom. But none of that matters at all now he’s here, looking at you hidden underneath a dressing gown, your lips parted with hesitance.

Levi stares at you for a second, wondering what he could possibly say to you now that the chance is right there. He should have known he’d say something stupid — Levi copies your facial expression and clicks his tongue: “I know you can actually do better than that.”

His words take you by surprise, but he watches as your wide eyes soften and your smile twists — his stomach churns, thrilled, enamoured. If he was stupid, he’d push himself into your room and kiss you, but luckily, he’s exhausted his daily dose of stupidity and fallen back into his usual state of normalcy.

“Oh, really?” you ask sarcastically. This is the first time he’s heard you talking since your shy little hello a few days ago, and without a wall between you and some dude’s dick up your pussy.

Levi hums, weaker than before. “Him, of all people?”

“Well, I don’t pick them for their personality,” you tell him, and he blinks as he realises that you’re actually discussing the people you bring back to your room. Levi lets it sink in until it does, deep in his stomach, and he feels his neck burning.

Suddenly, Levi is uncomfortably aware of how aware you are; you know you’re loud, and you know Levi can hear every moan and cry and whimper, every thud against the wall, every gasp of breath, every boy. And something tells him that none of that is accidental.

“...Thank god for that,” he drawls finally, his gaze hardening on your own. This time, you hum, mockingly, and tilt your head while you look at him.

Levi doesn’t know how long he stands there for. All he knows is that the tension between you is so thick it’s almost choking him. He doesn’t even know if you can feel it too — the unimaginable jolt of sexual tension coiling around his body like a snake, his whole body vibrating excitedly.

It would be so easy to move forward towards you. Levi doesn’t even think you’d refuse him. The sultry look in your eyes is inviting, enticing, and he lets his gaze wander back to the slip of skin above your breasts before he snatches his gaze back.

“I’ll be more quiet, if that’s what you’d like,” you say after a while.

He doesn’t say anything at first. Just looks at you for a second, weighing his options. Then, his gaze softens and he grunts — no. Be as loud as you want.

You seem to understand, for the smile widens into a pleased grin. “Alright. Sorry, Levi.”

He prays that you didn’t just see his body flinch as you said his name. Levi grunts again and waves his hand dismissively, turning for his room before the excitement of everything makes him become stupid again. He’s done enough stupid things today, thank you!

“Night, Y/N,” he says through clenched teeth, and if he had looked back, he would have seen the smile widen to a degree he could have never even expected, the confirmation you needed being your name on his lips, a name he would have only heard had he been listening.

Levi refuses to give in to his dumb urges and leans his back against his door when it shuts closed, listening shamefully as you hesitate before closing your door behind him. Finally, he lets out an exhausted breath and closes his eyes again.

For fuck sake. He’s a moron.

A moron who wants to fuck his neighbour, and is pretty sure that you know it.

Would you let him?

Levi stops himself from groaning like a pathetic loser when he thinks of you again, this time opening your door and letting him in, slipping the gown down your arms so that your breasts fall out for him; his hands grabbing them, pushing you back on the bed you were just being fucked on; his dick slipping inside of you, your cunt clenched around him, lips on his hands, cum filling you up like a cake, pooling out of you—

Levi feels his cock twitch again. He sighs loudly.

He’s going to need another shower. Preferably a long cold one. Hopefully cold enough to send him into shock and kill him, just to spare him from the humiliating reality that Levi Ackerman has become an infatuated sad fuck with a raging hard crush on his stunningly sexy neighbour.

Levi groans again. Fuck.

#levi ackerman x reader #levi x reader #levi ackerman smut #aot #attack on titan #aot x reader #attack on titan x reader #aot smut #levi smut #attack on titan smut #levi ackerman #aot levi #snk #snk imagine #aot imagine #levi imagine #jeanbie

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theminecraftbee · 10 months

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Joel turns around. Martyn is standing there. His eyes are a burning red that gives Joel the heebie-jeebies. If anyone would know to be scared, it's Joel! He would! He'd recognize a mad dog if he saw one anywhere!

Anyway, all of that is to say that his high-pitched scream had been totally justified. "Oh my word Martyn what are you doing here?" he says, clutching his hand over his heart, several feet further back than he'd been thirty seconds ago.

Martyn snorts. "Is the sign not for me? Figured there was no one else it could be for."

"The what?"

"The sign."

Joel turns around. Outside his base, the other Mounders have hung a helpful banner: "SORRY EVERYONE YOU LOVE IS DEAD <3".

He'd told them it was kind of rude, hanging that up. Sort of made light of the whole thing, really. His wife and Mumbo and Jimmy had died, guys, don't be idiots about it. Bdubs had loudly told him that he was TRYING to be helpful, Joel, geez, why don't you appreciate his efforts? Pearl had shrugged and said they don't exactly make cards for this kind of thing. Joel's pretty sure they do, actually but...

Sorry everyone you love is dead. Hah.

"My wife is dead, Martyn," Joel says.

"Who, Lizzie or Jimmy?" Martyn says, weirdly dark. "Anyway, my husband's dead, so--"

"Your what?"

"Mumbo and I got married one time. Everyone forgets that for some reason."

Joel has to think about it a while. "Huh."

"Yeah. Anyway, you've still got the other Mounders, huh? Don't know what you're crying about. Thought the sign had to be for me. Thought I'd show up. Get cake. Kill some people. You know how it is."

"If there's a TNT minecart in my base, the first thing I do after I turn red is kill you," Joel says.

"That's not really how it works this time," Martyn says.

"Yeah, well, screw you," Joel says. "Also, they didn't make me any cake. I should ask them for that next. Hah. A cake."

"You know, maybe don't ask for that? Parties tend to go wrong in this game."

"And who's fault is that, huh?"

"Hey, don't look at me! Or, do. Since I'm going to kill everyone, on account of everyone I love being dead and all. Really convenient excuse for murder, that. I should use it more often, if it didn't involve the crippling grief," Martyn says.

"Oh, please. At least you tend to have people to love in the first place," Joel snaps.

"Oh, right, that is your curse, isn't it?" Martyn says. "Sorta broke it last time, but you do tend to get isolated and a bit crazy. Hey, I wonder if we're the ones who traded, actually what with the whole wolf thing."

Joel blinks. "What?"

"Oh, we're all cursed," Martyn says. "After all, They like it better that way. Hey, do you think Jimmy's curse transferred to Lizzie, got cancelled out by the fact Lizzie tends to die stupidly, or got broken? Personally, I'm thinking random fluke, when it comes to canary nonsense."

Joel stares at Martyn. His throat is dry. "What?"

Martyn stares back. "Hey, I'm the mad dog this time," Martyn says. "You probably shouldn't be the one growling."

"Well then, you should stop saying stupid shit," Joel says.

"Stupid? Please. It's obvious everyone is cursed. Nothing to be done about it but to play into the--"

"NO ONE IS BLUMIN' CURSED," Joel shouts, his vision suddenly red and blurry in a way it shouldn't be when he's still on yellow. "NO ONE IS BLUMIN' CURSED. THERE'S NO SUCH THING! YOU'RE JUST, JUST MAKIN' UP REASONS IT ISN'T ALL A TRAGEDY THAT EVERYONE I LOVE IS FUCKING DEAD, MAKING UP REASONS THAT IT--NO ONE IS CURSED! IT JUST HAPPENS! IT JUST HAPPENS! IT JUST FUCKING HAPPENS! AND WOULDN'T IT BE BLUMIN' NICE IF THERE WERE A HIGHER POWER BUT THERE ISN'T SO SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT CURSES!"

He's panting. Martyn is staring at him. He stares back, a snarl on his teeth, the echoes of wolves and of grief, grief, grief, grief playing at the back of his throat.

"Joel?" Martyn says, hesitant.

"My wife is fucking dead. My best friend is fucking dead. One of my new possible best friends is fucking dead. Sorry about your husband, I guess? Get out."

"Bold thing to say to the guy who can kill--"

"I SAID GET OUT!"

Martyn stares at Joel a moment longer, and Joel finds he's not scared of the madness in his eyes at all.

Martyn leaves.

Joel realizes he's crying. The tears turn into giant, ugly sobs. Sorry everyone you love is dead. Sorry everyone you love is dead. Sorry everyone you love is dead.

"I blumin' hate caring about people," he says to no one at all through choked breaths, and he kicks a rock at the banner for good measure. It pokes a little hole through it and bounces off the dick-shaped tower behind it.

"Someone really should have made both of us a blumin' cake, they should," he says next, and he sits down until Pearl runs over, having heard the shouting. His face is red and his vision is still swimming. She stares at him, gathers him in her arms, and cries with him, and for the life of him, he doesn't know if that's any better.

#secret life smp #secret life spoilers #a bee fic #joel smallishbeans #martyn inthelittlewood #ONE MORE FOR THE ROAD THIS SESSION HAS INSPIRED ME TO WRITE APPARENTLY.#anyway the life series is a tragecomedy and everyone copes with that differently i think #i am trying to really CAPTURE the simultaneous tragic and comedic vibes here #anyway. opposing views on curses and causality in the face of grief huh?

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feistyvirghoe · 2 months

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𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒₊˚*ੈ♡⸝⸝🪐༘⋆ ❝ 𝐖𝐇𝐎𝐒 𝐊𝐄𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐀𝐁𝐒 𝐎𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐖𝐇𝐘? ❞𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒₊˚*ੈ♡⸝⸝🪐༘⋆

*this is not meant to stir up drama or to be messy, i was curious and in this digital age that we’re living in it’s easy for people to keep up with you by also staying hidden in the shadows, this is just uncovering the who and why this or these people have been keeping tabs on you, weird weird world we live in but it’s good to be aware instead of oblivious.*

pick a card disclaimers ೃ🩷⁀➷

pick a pile u feel most called to, the one u cannot look away from, the one that is pulsing, go with your gut, always trust yourself, and if u feel called to more that’s cool baby boo! there’s more for u!

these are general and for a vast amount of ppl, don’t get ur undies all twisted up bc it’s not resonating, it’s normal and it’s fine, this just wasn’t for u! <3

these are extremely general collective timeless readings and they’re meant for entertainment purposes, please don’t take things so seriously and also realize my readings are for people above 18!

╰┈➤ ❝ [ ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ who ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡> i feel like this is a person you guys have moved on from, like you’ve accepted them for who they are and whatever happened between the both of you. it’s like remembering this person has you breathing more deeply, to stay calm and not exaggerate the feelings you have towards them.

> this person is like really obsessive over you, to keep you fucking stuck and confused. like they’re still holding onto something like a grudge against you, but you’re more peaceful and zen

> this is an ex lover for you, or someone you were close with at some point. i keep saying “keeping pile” like they’re trying to fucking keep your energy attached to them, like anything they can find on you they’ll just engage and get lost in you, your business, what’s going on with you.

> this feels like a person with heavy masc energy who’s coming off as a bit arrogant, as if you’d never walk away from them. okay so they’re just giving off conceited, a bit delusional vibes, like they’re hyping themself up and putting themself on a pedestal but they’re honestly someone who floats around, like they’re onto the next and they can’t stand that you left them, basically u just walked away and said enough is enough and let them go, but THEY still want to keep that fucking rinky dinky ass chain strong and durable, but there’s nothing there for you.

> there is so much strife and chaos and just a bunch of messy shit going on in their life, they can’t escape it so i guess the only solution is to go back to the person they screwed over omg what?!

>it’s like they want you to feel like it’s your fucking fault for whatever happened.

>yall are so over it omg, i was about to wrap this shit up bc i was just getting like annoyed, like that “what the F ever” type of vibe

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ why ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡> i feel like they’re keeping tabs on you because of this worry, some sort of deep regret and they’re scared, idk being haunted by thoughts of you. they’re everywhere and they seem a bit unstable tbh, they aren’t thinking clearly at all.

>another thing here is that you probably have been through the ringer with this person and you have moved gracefully, not going after them and avenging yourself by seeking revenge, you took the high road and just left this person where they are

> now that you’ve moved on, they feel as if you’re outshining them, you probably are and you don’t see it, but you’ve learned so much and gained a lot of helpful fucking information to help u grow and move on to something better and healthier for you, so now it’s like for them, you’re shoving in their face, this is giving like EXTREME DELUSIONAL ENERGY.

> see you are shining bitch! i am not sure how they know or think they know so much about you but you’ve listened to god or whoever you believe in (i persona think they’re all one but don’t quote me) but you’ve just listened to even your higher self because you know what’s best for you. they’re handing you this beautiful majestic, bright fucking stick and it’s yours, it’s all yours to take and this weirdo is disturbed by your new beginnings as if it shouldn’t be meant for you uhhhh wtf?? i mean unless you’ve done some shady shit i can understand but i don’t think so boo, this or these people are just fucking coming from a place of heavy insecurity and feelings of being inadequate. this is for you and what do they say, what is really meant for you will never pass you by.

> you’ve taken back your power, your energy, just you took back you, lol taking yourself to the fucking car wash to clean all that weird shit off of you, coming out squeaky clean ready for the brighter days ahead of you! and that’s amazing as hell, bc this is can tell was not easy and probably caused some crazy shit to happen to you as well, but you’re not a problem boo and don’t take on their projection and warped narrative of you!

> live your life to the fucking fullest and never apologize for that shit! esp no apologizing to fucking bozos who have done you wrong and then want to gaslight you into thinking that you’re the problem and that everything was your fault. shit happens for some reasons we can’t even understand and i know it frustrates me too but it’s outside of our control and we have to accept it and move on and that’s what u did, i mean im seeing it here rn boo w the 5oC reversed. you did it, so be proud of yourself because overcoming these tough ass emotional and mental challenges is fucking scary and tiring.

take care to you lovely people and embrace this new beginning okay <333 i love you. ] ❞

╰┈➤ ❝ [◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ who ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡> this is someone who you cut ties with, someone who you ended things with, im getting someone who feels heartbroken by you and left out in the cold

>could be more than one person, like a group of people, but these people are struggling right now

>these are people disturbed by your happiness, your joyful spirit wth, anyways, they’re not doing so well, like things have been taken away from them whether that may be literally or figuratively, but they’re feeling like their scorned, as if this is your fault

>this is someone who doesn’t want to grow from whatever happened, the first card i pull is always the person who’s reading this, their energy and you’re coming out as the sun, a youthful spirit, someone young and childlike, like the innocence not like acting like a child lol

>but this person could also be acting childish too, like a bit ignorant and petty. do you even know these people, there’s so much going on here

>this pile is so confusing, we have a queen of swords, a queen of wands, king of pentacles and the prince of pentacles, like who are these people??

> idk why im crying right now and in tears lmfao, like this pile is confusing me heavy and it’s really annoying me, maybe it’s like this person or these weirdos want you confused

>the energy is just really frustrating and irritating me so i’m pulling newer cards for you to get better messages.

>this person is just annoying the fuck out of me bro, but it’s someone with many fucking options, someone who can’t seem to stay committed to one thing, they’re pulled every which way and idk if it’s your irritation or their irritation i’m picking up on, someone who wants you back

>this person could be an air sign or have those placements somewhere in their chart aqua,libra, gemini

>they feel like they’re down in the dumps right now, someone who just played with you, they see you moving on and now they’re feeling some type of way about it, they’re very emotionally unstable

>they could also be a water sign, but this person is just in shambles, freaking out emotionally, missing you heavily, but they’re just so fucking unstable dude, they have a low self esteem and feel like they’re being overlooked by everyone

>nothing seems to be going their way and it’s pissing them off, maybe that’s why i was irritated, like they’re throwing temper tantrums bc that emotion that took over me was gross and i wasn’t acting like myself, someone fucking pent up over you, not to be rude but this mofo may wanna come in with some weird fucking energy/vibes

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ why ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡> they’re trying to change their ways it seems, or their just being slapped in the face with the realness that comes with living life here on earth as a human.

>they want something new with you and as in new i mean love, like they’re want to come back and re-light a spark in this connection. but there is none, nothing is happening and they’re purposefully being blocked off from talking to you

>but even if they did come close to you, the whole thing seems like it may turn into like a fucking emotional meltdown, like spazzing out on you

>they’re not allowed near you bro, it’s like they want something new with you but they’re not giving up their weird party lifestyle, like always clubbing and drinking and never really taking much responsibility, it’s sad, they’re not confident within themselves and they’re just watching you shine

>watching you move on to newer paths that have been set out for you, like they’re seeing you as a temptation too, wanting u sexually, i mean you turn this person on yeah but their energy is just weird, like “look at me”

>i don’t understand why they don’t want to give up on this, like extremely fixated on you, as if it’s their job to fucking watch you, they’re a fluid person but they ain’t fucking committed

>like listen to this line “i just wanna fuck my 🥷 in piece but all of my old 🥷 still love me” from hiss by meg thee stallion, hmm, all bc u either literally moved away from them or just got your ass up and left them where they are, it’s like they’re still holding on to this thought of you taking them back, as if you’d welcome them with open arms..

>does this person just grind your damn gears because i’m extremely repulsed right now, idk why they can’t give up, it’s like you’re their last option, how insulting in my opinion

>like oh now im seeing you for who you truly are, excuse me?? as if they couldn’t appreciate you when you were there in their fucking face!! talk about a delayed reaction to you leaving their ass behind, sorry i’m so blunt yall (just fucking weird energy from this person)

> you’re coming out as an empress/emperor and honestly you just need to let go of this person, like i would recommend not engaging with this person, their intentions are creepy, ugh ew, like they’re worried about who you’re basically with right now

>like so fucking consumed and obsessed with you, why do they care so much ahhhh but then the “i don’t know why im so obsessed with you” card came out LOL!

>girl/boy/YOU…just let your spirit team take care of it, like seriously they are there and it’s not your duty to fulfill, they’ll reap what they sow, and it’s like they’re reaping it now..

>during this pile i was just so frantic and overwhelmed my goodness! please take care of yourselves and idk if they’d ever reach out and say something maybe that’s why they’re just watching u bc u intimidate them, you don’t fuck around and you’re not dumb so for them to think that they can come in and try to get one up on you is delusional.

>i do have to say this though, there was another group of people but they were all fucking confusing too, like it was a mix of good and bad yall

>someone is watching u quietly and waiting for an opportunity with you, to give u good good love but it was like taken over by jealous, envious people, like i could be wrong but that’s how it was feeling, you got many eyes on you and whatever you’re doing, cleanse yourself baby bc some of them are good and want to approach u for good reasons but then there are the weirdos, ughaahhahahah your pile is wild dude and i can go on and on about it!

>like i honestly want to do a reading for you all and ask about the people who aren’t karmic that are keeping tabs on you…like the decent kind people who are keeping tabs on you and why, like getting into it and uncovering what spirit wants to show me so i can pass it onto you.

>i hope u enjoyed or well got something interesting out of your reading, this pile felt so crazy lol, babe it’s probably how u have people over you, just going crazy like you’re living in their head rent free

>i mean yeah they’re keeping tabs on you to see what you have going on in your life, so impulsive too, like they don’t know how to control themselves..like they want to get into your secret club, they don’t want to let you go bro, like still holding on to any piece of you and of course there are pieces of you on the internet esp if you have some sort of platform where you post and what i mean by post is posting anything, just being urself on your social media accounts..

> i pulled some more to see why they want to get into your lil club and it’s literally coming off as hedonistic? to just like have fun like how yall used to, it’s sex sex sex for them, that and also what they can get from you, you’re so understanding and it’s like they miss how generous you were with them

>but u have so much of yourself to like get nothing back dude, this is all about taking from you, as if it belongs to them, i swear this person just needs to get it figured out and fucking heal and do some shadow work, like just take a look at themselves and see the ugly shit they seem to avoid my goodness!

>yall got people obsessed and squirming over you lmao! love u guys and be safe okay mwah! <333 ] ❞

╰┈➤ ❝ [◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ who ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡> this is someone who has young feminine energy, even if they’re not biologically a female, it’s what’s coming out, basically a page, but there’s resistance here.

>this is someone who’s life is just feeling out of place, i mean karma is just doing its things, seems like this is someone who burned you. did some weird shit regarding your relationship with them.

> again an ice out feeling, they may be an aries, sag or leo, or scorpio, pisces, cancer, you or them. i feel like this person may want to contact you but they’re not sure how to go about it.

>i mean they’re feeling heartbroken, i feel like they can only watch from afar, as if they’re scared to get close to you? it’s weird, they’re lonely rn like just keeping to themselves away from people

>whatever happened between you two has them not wanting to give up, that’s a bit of why they’re lurking on you, but this is like tearing them apart inside, this break up between you two, doesn’t have to be romantic but it could.

>this is someone coming off as insecure to approach because they may not feel good enough to come back to you, you cut them off and now they’re just erratic, i don’t know if they’d actually try to contact you bc this isn’t that reading but even if they did im not sure it’ll get through to you.

>they hid some shit from you, or they’re just hiding, stalking you, i mean this is that reading, who’s keeping tabs on ya 🤣 but this is like a lil charmer, they seem to know how to get their way.

>literally a prince charming here, but mr charming is out here fucking around w weirdos, and what i mean is like the enabling of people that we surround ourselves with, it’s not a good crowd, people who like to party, idk drink, fuck around with each other, do drugs and shit, and another thing is they may also be feeling like it’s not that emotionally fulfilling.

>i mean fucking around with people who aren’t really good for you and who don’t care about you, that’d make someone who has a heart feel a bit bored with their peers.

>they could be a pisces or have cancer in their chart, or they’re also disillusioned, not seeing things clearly, making up stories, even gaslighting themselves into believing a different scenario. you could’ve been really close like they were apart of your family type of close, someone apart of your close circle, they just feel close.

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ why ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡> seems like they want to hold onto you because you fulfill them emotionally, like your love, your heart, your tenderness, they miss you, like they’re don’t want to see you with anyone else.

>trying to find you, figure you out but maybe you don’t even post crazily and they can’t find anything out about you..like a dead end.i feel like they’re holding onto hope that you’ll open up yourself to them again.

>this is just sad dude, you probably impacted them in a way that most people don’t, your sweet heart and how you can give so much of that love that’s within you, so effortlessly, they just miss you a lot.

>you guys probably did so many things together, like little adventures and exploring with each other, happy times with you and they’re reminiscing, i mean they can’t get over you, you’re all they can think about.

>they could be the avoidant type, not really addressing what the real issues are and brushing them off, if they hurt you and treated u badly don’t hold resentment in your heart, forgive for you not for them and if not that’s okay, do what feels best for you.

> i feel like they’re not meant to be riding along with you on this journey we call life, like whatever happened between the two of you, it’s irredeemable and it’s like they know they fucked up bad but they can’t seem to to take those heavy emotions so they just go and escape, avoiding their feelings in front of others but alone they’re in despair and just fucking depressed, heavy feelings, just melancholy…i feel like this is forcing them to take a look at what happened and address those issues but they’re holding out.

>they could be looking at old photos of you, pictures of yall together or just you alone…like that’s another way for them to hold onto you, they are also holding on to you and keeping tabs on you seeing when the right time is for them to come back in and speak to you

>they’re feeling you, like missing you sexually, they’re desiring you, lusting, obsessing over you, i mean they could even be jacking off to you, masturbating to your photos, they’re definitely angry, idk these feelings mixed together is scary, like the obsession, then the desire and then the fucking rage, ready to pop off and do some unhinged shit.

>i feel like the divine stepped in for you and pulled you away from them for a good reason, weird intentions on their side and it’s like they want to stay hidden until their timing is correct and then they’ll attack? or want to try and attach themselves to you again, please don’t fall for the bullshit and be discerning for real!!

>there’s this needy feeling to them, like they’re a big man on the outside but a baby on the inside, hiding who they really are, were they a bit iffy when it came to expressing emotions? and being vulnerable. this could go so many ways but was this like public or many people close to you knew about this, like people had to get between you two?

>know your worth and my advice is to just leave them alone if they do try to come your way again, let yourself explore the newer finer things coming into your life or just embrace where you are right now even if it sucks ass, at least you’re not near this person, they’re a karmic for ya, someone who just brought a bunch of chaos and drama but lessons too, take time to yourself to heal and not jump into anything too fast, don’t blame yourself for anything and take this lightly, i don’t wanna stir up too much for yall omg.

>thank you for reading this and taking your time to check out my pac :), hope u guys have a lovely rest of ur day <333] ❞

╰┈➤ ❝ [◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡> who ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡>> okay so this is weird and i really hope this resonates with someone but it seems like this is a gang of fools, yeah i said it…like a group of people you don’t even know and they’re trying to seek some sort of justice but u probably know who the ringleader is, apparently you know something about the stalking, the creeping, the fucking lurking.

>they’re hiding yes, just watching and spying on you, im not sure if you’re the one who’s completely oblivious to this but it’s like a family dynamic, maybe it’s a group of people who are like family to each other, but there’s this secretive shit going on.

>it seems like u barely know any of them, they’re strangers, and then there’s like a mother figure or someone who’s like in a group and their the “mom” friend. they could have cancer or aqua somewhere in their birth chart. or that could be you im picking up on, place it where it fits and if it doesn’t that doesn’t mean it’s not your pile boo!

>this is catching me off guard, im feeling a group of people that travel together, like all locked in w each other spying on you, this is so fucking weird. a group of people that are working together or just watching you together pissed, mad.

> i feel like they’re gathering and like mocking you, berating you together, are these people that barely know each other but they’re pulled together and clicking bc of their secret animosity towards you. they’re trying hard as fuck though, to keep this shit a secret.

>we have the “beware of anyone from the past wanting to enter back into your life” so it could be someone you were sexual with at one point and they’re feeling some type of way, or they did some dirty shit involving sexual relations..

>if they keep it up they’re gonna experience some weird ass shit coming their way, like freak accidents by trying to send the evil eye your way, seems like this is a team effort bro, like fucking gang stalking wtf, please take cleansing baths, like throw some florida water in w your soap, or sage before you jump in the shower, whatever works for you, palo santo, sage, dragons blood sage, cedar sage etc.

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡> why ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡>> because they’re jealous of you and have nothing else better to do with their life. envious of your belongings because it seems like they don’t have shit for themselves, i mean with how negative this energy is, i can see why shit keeps delaying and failing, cmon dude.

>lemme break it down, they’re envious of what you have and your image, how your coming off to those around you, your beauty and maybe even how naturally alluring you are, it always sound cliche but your light you emit.

>it’s like they want to be you, they hate you so fucking much but want to be you, even your money as well, or the abundance within you, but it also feels material, like you may look “wealthy” “rich” “high maintenance” my goodness???? and this disturbs them, just a group of hateful envious mean people.

>they’re either hiding behind their screens just jealous, you must be a fucking god/goddess bc this envy is disturbing like hating someone because they’re pretty, i understand being a lil envious of other people’s features and being lighthearted about it, like awww i wish i had her nose or whatever, but you still accept yourself and your “flaws” were all different and unique.

>i personally think it’s a bit fucked up how everyone wants to look like everyone they see on social media, and we don’t even look like that, it’s all a facade, like we age, we gain we lose, we grow, we’re always fucking growing and changing dude…shit happens to us in life..just go out and walk around your town and see how uniquely beautiful we are, so many different forms of beauty, just like with flowers too, it’s boring being the same and looking the same and doing the same thing as someone else, be true to you and accept yourself for who you are, we can always change! it’s the way of life fr!

>no this is a bit deranged, it’s like a habit for them to watch you and stalk you basically, that’s what they’re doing. this may be a scorned lover but it can go a MANY WAYS hahaha..they’re like trying to make u feel insignificant by literally indirectly talking shit about you on their social media.

>this feels like one sided beef bro…i mean it may be put to a stop and if this is a fucking full on deranged stalker im sorry and please keep yourself safe and well. take the right precautions and keep your accounts private if you’re on any social media accounts. these people are so weird(you’ll notice i keep saying it but that’s what it is, fucking weird…disturbing)

>they clearly don’t like you even if they pretend to and they’re like the little minions from despicable me, just a bunch of clones, trying to get people to shit on your name and full on slander you but oh they’re behind closed doors because they’re cowards.

>i feel like you’re just making your fucking money, minding your business, doing what you gotta do and these people have the audacity to just yap and yap about you, especially if you take care of your body or do whatever you need to, to make sure you stay healthy and happy.

>it’s giving, they really really dislike you because of your self care routine, whatever methods you use to just flat out take care of yourself. this is just weird dude.

>i feel like you figured something out about this scorned love, someone who feels betrayed by you but i bet they did some weird fudged up shit and you broke the fantasy, you opened up your eyes.

>major confirmation is the “they secretly keep tabs on your every move” card, damn…just stalking you, it’s fucking weird and creepy, like keeping up with whatever you got going on eeugh

>youre effortlessly shining and beautiful, honestly even if you’re not a woman you have the the empress. divine feminine energy is just radiating off of you, a calm passionate, sexy, patient, gentle loving person bro! i feel like they really hate your fucking looks, why are people so envious and jealous nowadays.

>but they’re the same people to copy you and try and steal your shit as if they did it first fr! a bunch of damn copycats, people who aren’t comfortable with themselves, they don’t know how to be content in their own skin, but then they’re also beating others down and shit talking, a bunch of nasty ass poopoo breath yapping and spouting nonsense.

>im in so much pain right now wtf, like a punching feeling, in my gut and then my back as well, so i’m not sure if you’ve been feeling that way too but like i said above, cleanse yourself!!!! go on etsy and find a good practitioner to help you do a protection spell, even if you do or don’t know these individuals just explain what you’re feeling to them and the situation and they’ll do the rest, all you have to do is believe <3 but you’ll be okay, just don’t feed into the drama, these people have self esteem issues and i can relate but this is just beyONNND just out of hand like wtf??!

>seems like their behavior is about to be put to an end, keeping up this BS, you’ll see how shit plays out, you may hear from someone or see it for yourself but they’re not gonna be able to run away and hide what they’re fucking doing..

> please go and seek someone to help you cut these cords, like hex breaking spells/rituals, someone who’s legit and real with you. protect yourself and your energy, they have shit intentions and its deliberate. all of this is just to fuck with you and make you feel some type of way and i’m sorry pile four yall don’t deserve that shit from these weird folk. they’re adamant about hating your gifts, your spiritual gifts.

>i hope you guys remember who tf you are and stay in that damn power, know thyself fr! all parts of you, knowing they can’t fucking mess with you, knowing that they’ll get their karma and it’ll hit, it won’t miss.

>sending you guys love and support, hope u have a good rest of your day and prosper, go shine you beautiful angel!!!] ❞

thank ya thank ya thank ya, for stopping by and checking out this PAC, thank you for the support and i appreciate it in advance to lmk what ya thought by liking, reblogging and commenting, i like hearing from yall, like how it resonated lol and if it didn’t don’t be an ass man haha ass man 💀 anyways thank you again and i’m sending love to you guys, MWAH MWAH MWAH!!!!! 💋

@anitalenia for the cute ass dividers <3

#feistyvirghoe #black tarot readers #pick a card #tarot readings #pick a pile #pac #tarotblr #tarot pac #tarot reading #tarotcommunity #spirituality #who’s keeping tabs on you #333 #234 #18+ pac #18+ tarot #pick a photo #pick a card reading #pick a pile reading

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c1qfxugcgy0 · 2 months

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adventures in QA

(previous post in this series)

My shop in Advanced Midbody - Carbon Wing (AMCW) at Large Aircraft Manufacturer (LAM) is at the very end of the composite fabrication building. Hundreds of people carefully lay up a hundred foot long slab of carbon fiber, cure it, paint it, and then we totally fuck it up with out of spec holes, scrapes, primer damage, etc. The people who write up our many defects are from the Quality Assurance (QA) department.

Every single screw and rivet on a LAM aircraft can be traced back to the mechanic who installed it. Back when even everything was done in pen and pencil, it was joked that the paper used to produce an aircraft outweighed the plane itself. Now that everything is computer-based, of course, the amount of paperwork is free to grow without limit.

(Haunting the factory is endless media coverage of an emergency exit door plug popping out of an Advanced Smallbody - Upengine (ASU) plane during a routine flight a few months ago. Unlike that airframe's notorious problems with MCAS, this was a straightforward paperwork screwup by a line worker: the bolts were supposed to be tightened, and they weren't.

As a result the higher ups have visited hideous tribulations on non-salaried workers. Endless webinars, structured trainings. Here at the Widebody plant we have received a steady flow of refugees from the Narrowbody factory, hair-raising tales of receiving one hundred percent supervision from the moment they clock in to the second they clock out from FAA inspectors who can recommend actual jail time for any lapse in judgement.)

A single hydraulic bracket Installation Plan (IP) is around four brackets. The team leads generally assign two bracket IPs per mechanic, since each bracket set is something like a foot apart, and while working on the plane is bad enough it's much worse to have another mechanic in your lap.

Let me list the order of operations:

One: Find where you're supposed to install these brackets. This is harder than you might think.

Firstly, it's a hundred foot long plank of carbon fiber composite, with longitudinal stringers bonded to it to add stiffness. The stringers are pilot drilled in the trim and drill center, a truly Brobdingnagian CNC mill that trims off the composite flash at the edges and locates and drills part holes for us. But there's a lot of holes, so you must carefully find your set.

A minor difficulty is that the engineering drawings are laid out with the leading edge pointing up, while the wing panels in our cells hang from the trailing edge. Not so bad, you just rotate the paper 180 when orienteering, then rotate it back up to read the printed labels.

A major difficulty is that the drawings are from the perspective from the outside of the panel. But we work on the inside of the wing (obviously, that's where all the parts are installed) so we also flip the drawings and squint through the back of the paper, to make things line up.

Large Aircraft Manufacturer has a market cap of US$110 billion, and we're walking around the wing jig with sheets of paper rotated 180 and flipped turnways trying to find where to put brackets.

Oh well, we're paid by the hour.

Two: Match drill the aluminum brackets to the carbon fiber composite stringer. I can devote an entire post to the subtleties of drilling carbon fiber, but I can already tell that this post is going to be a miserable slog, so I will merrily skip over this step.

Three: Vacuum up all the carbon dust and aluminum swarf created during this process. This step is not optional, as your team lead will remind you, his screaming mouth clouding your safety glasses with spittle at a distance of four inches. LAM is very serious about FOD. Every jet airliner you've ever ridden in is a wet wing design-- each interstitial space is filled with Jet A. There is no fuel bladder or liner-- the fuel washes right over plane structure and wing hardware. Any dirt we leave behind will merrily float into the fuel and be sucked right into the engines, where it can cause millions in damage. No place for metal shavings!

If you are nervous about flying, avoid considering that all the hydraulic lines and engine control cables dip into a lake of a kerosene on their way from the flight deck to the important machines they command. Especially do not consider that we're paid about as much per hour as a McDonalds fry cook to install flight-critical aviation components.

Four: Neatly lay out your brackets on your cart, fight for a position at a Shared Production Workstation (SPW) (of which we have a total of four (4) for a crew of thirty (30) mechanics) and mark your IP for QA inspection as Ready To Apply Seal.

Four: Twiddle your thumbs. Similarly, we have three QA people for thirty mechanics. This is not enough QA people, as I will make enormously clear in the following steps.

Five: Continue waiting. Remember, you must not do anything until a QA person shows up and checks the box. Skipping a QA step is a “process failure” and a disciplinary offense. From the outside, you can observe the numerous QA whistleblowers and say “golly, why would a mechanic ever cut a corner and ignore QA?” Well...

Six: QA shows up. Theoretically, they could choose to pick up the mahrmax you prepared for them and gauge every single hole you've drilled. But since we're three hours into the shift and they're already twenty jobs behind, they just flick their flashlight across the panel and say “looks good" and then sprint away. Can't imagine why our planes keep falling out of the sky.

Seven: Apply the seal to the bracket. P/S 890 is a thick dark gray goop that adheres well to aluminum, carbon fiber, fabric, hair and skin. Once cured, it is completely immune to any chemical attack short of piranha solution, so if you get any on yourself you had better notice quick, otherwise it'll be with you as long as the layer of epidermis it's bonded to. LAM employees who work with fuel tank sealant very quickly get out of the habit of running their hands through their hair.

Eight: Now you wait again. Ha ha, you dumb asshole, you thought you were done with QA? No no, now you put up the job for QA inspection of how well you put the seal on the bracket. Twiddle your thumbs, but now with some urgency. The minute you took the bottle of seal out of the freezer, you started the clock on its "squeeze-out life." For this type of seal, on this job, it's 120 minutes. If QA doesn't get to you before that time expires, you remove your ticket, wipe off the seal, take another bottle out the freezer, and apply a fresh layer.

Nine: Optimistically, QA shows up in time and signs off on the seal. Well, you're 100 minutes into your 120 minute timer. Quickly, you slap the brackets onto the stringer, air hammer the sleeve bolts into position, thread nuts onto the bolts, then torque them down. Shove through the crowd and mark your IP "ready to inspect squeeze out"

Ten: Let out a long breath and relax. All the time sensitive parts are over. The criteria here is "visible and continuous" squeeze out all along the perimeter of the bracket and the fasteners. It is hard to screw this up, just glop on a wild excess of seal before installing it. If you do fail squeezeout, though, the only remedy is to take everything off, throw away the single-use distorted thread locknuts, clean everything up and try again tomorrow.

Eleven: QA approved squeeze out? Break's over, now we're in a hurry again. By now there's probably only an hour or two left in the shift, and your job now is to clean off all that squeeze out. Here's where you curse your past self for glopping on too much seal. You want to get it off ASAP because if you leave it alone or if it's too late in the shift and your manager does feel like approving overtime it'll cure to a rock hard condition overnight and you'll go through hell chipping it off the next day. You'll go through a hundred or so qtips soaked in MPK cleaning up the bracket and every surface of the panel within three feet.

Twelve: Put it up for final inspection. Put away all your tools. (The large communal toolboxes are lined with kaizen foam precisely cut out to hold each individual tool, which makes it obvious if any tool is missing. When you take a tool out, you stick a tool chit with your name and LAMID printed on it in its place. Lose a tool? Stick your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye, pal, because the default assumption is that a lost screwdriver is lurking in a hollow "hat" stringer, waiting to float out and damage some critical component years after the airplane is delivered.)

One tool you'll leave on your cart, however, is the pin protrusion gage. There is a minimum amount of thread that must poke outside of the permanent straight shank fastener's (Hi-Lok) nut, to indicate that the nut is fully engaged. That makes sense. But there's also a maximum protrusion. Why?

Well, it's an airplane. Ounces make pounds. An extra quarter inch of stickout across a thousand fasteners across a 30 year service life means tons of additional fuel burnt. So you can't use a fastener that's too long, because it adds weight.

On aluminum parts, it's hard to mess up. But any given composite part is laid up from many layers of carbon fiber tape. The engineers seemed to have assumed that dimensional variation would be normally distributed. But, unfortunately, we buy miles of carbon fiber at a time, and the size only very gradually changes between lots. When entire batches are several microns oversize, and you're laying up parts from fifty plies and an inch thick, you can have considerable variation of thickness on any given structural component. So you had better hope you had test fit all of your fasteners ahead of time, or else you'll be real sorry!

And, if you're really lucky, QA will show up five minutes before end of shift, pronounce everything within tolerance, then fuck off.

And that's how it takes eight hours to install eight brackets.

#avgeek #large aircraft manufacturer

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house-of-lovin · 1 year

Text

legally binded

Jenna Ortega x F!Reader

masterlist | next part

Summary: After getting caught in some hot waters with the press, you are forced into an unexpected agreement with America's sweetheart, Jenna Ortega to save your career.

Warnings/Tags: famous!reader, mentions of hard substances, intoxication, mature language, real people (do not read if any of these makes you uncomfortable)

Note: Wrote a quick one, I don't usually write about real people so (this is all fiction, don't take it seriously) Can you tell I'm procrastinating on my other WIPs.

Word Count: 2.1k+

“Blacking out at a strip club in Vegas, are you fucking serious?”

Jake, your manager’s voice thunders around the office.

You sink lower into the armchair, casting your eyes down – ashamed. From your peripheral, you can see Jake pacing up and down behind his desk and yanking at his tie; roughing up his usually neat-suited appearance.

“Is it bad?” You gather the courage to ask.

There was a lot of shit that Jake lets you get away with. He’s known since you were a young teen with starry-eyed dreams. Except, your dreams did come true. You were living it, working with respected directors and actors on prestigious sets and projects; it was a shot in the dark that you would ever become a working actor much less a critically-acclaimed one but Jake took a chance on you.

But no one had warned you just how much you had to give up in order to keep succeeding at your dream. Work breeds more work, is that what they say?

Well if that’s the case, it certainly felt like it. Since your first big break, you haven’t stopped working. Seemingly flying to every crevice of the Earth to show face at yet another event they had scheduled on your calendar.

You could barely name the day of the week.

Being in your teens in the public eye was not easy and it hasn’t gotten any easier as you entered your 20s. So they can sue you for trying to have some fun for once in your life. Granted, you may have gone overboard with it… that much you can own up to.

“Is it bad?” He scoffs, reiterating your question in a mocking tone and if it were anyone else you wouldn’t have been able to stave off your annoyance. “Try the end of times… you got locked up in jail. For possession of coke. You can imagine the headlines.”

You wince, clamping your eyes shut. Yeah, that is bad. “It wasn’t mine! It was–”

“Oh, I know whose it was!” Abruptly stopping, he swipes a finger in your direction shutting you up. “You and your little boy-toy can say goodbye to each other ‘til Liv and I fix this goddamn mess.”

“I didn’t know he had it on him, Jake. And he’s not my boy toy.” Your nose screws up in disgust.

“It doesn’t matter anymore. The media caught wind of your weekend away in Vegas with that singer. Did you really think no one would recognize you with a famous musician in a strip club? They have pictures of you in cuffs, Y/N – you’re lucky you didn’t get pressed with charges for drug possession.”

You hear the tired disappointment in Jake’s voice and feel guilt crawl around in your chest. No words seem to be good enough to fix the mess you created so you stay silent. You can add this to the list of headlines he has had to clean up recently. You keep your head down, like a petulant child called into the principal’s office – which in this situation, was an accurate comparison.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me, Y/N.” A higher-pitched voice echoes behind you and theoretically, if it were physically possible to pass through atoms, you’d be 6-feet under the Earth’s crust.

Far, far away from Liv.

“I already gave her the talk, Liv. We haven’t got the time. What’s the plan to fix this?” Jake crosses his arms, one elbow propped to hold his heavy head up. The bags under his eyes were a clear indication that like you, he also hasn’t slept since he bailed you out of Clark County Jail – a mere 10 hours ago.

All you knew is that you were waking up in a cold, dingy cell with a nasty hangover and an officer shouting from behind steel bars that someone had posted bail for you. Next thing you knew, you were being escorted out the side entrance of the building and into a blacked-out Escalade then driven to a private tarmac where a jet was waiting to take you back to Los Angeles.

Liv is also someone you accredit your success to. Jake and Liv are partners and often represent clients together. You liked to call them each other’s work husband/wife. Liv is a tough lady, only in her early 30s and already one of the most sought-after PR agents in Hollywood; has a boss-ass bitch attitude and a resting bitch face to match. Where Jake often played the good cop with you, Liv was guaranteed to be the complete opposite.

Liv rounds the desk, standing beside Jake. She was dressed in business casual clothes but her hair wasn’t done like it usually was – a sign she had rushed over here upon your arrival. Staring you down with a menacing glare before rolling her eyes. “You’re not gonna like it, but I don’t care because we’re way past doing things your way.”

You sit up, a little scared. Liv is not one to mess around with. If she says it’s something you won’t like, you might as well go dig up your own grave. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I have an idea as to how to get some heat off your shoulders. Just until the press can find something else to fuss over.” She waves with a hand, furiously typing on her phone.

You and Jake shared a look, waiting for her to continue.

“Well, are you going to tell us or not?” Jake huffs, throwing his hands in the air. Was he the only one in this damn room that felt like the sky was falling?

A knock interrupts before Liv can respond. “Hold that thought… Come in!” She holds a finger up, shoving her phone in her back pocket.

You turn around, curiosity getting the better of you. Only, it was Jake’s assistant popping her head in. “Sorry for interrupting, sir. I know you said not to disturb you unless it was urgent.”

Jake runs a tired hand on his face. “Just get to the point, Em.” He says, not unkindly.

“Miss Olivia’s guests are here for the meeting. I was wondering if I can let them in?” The young assistant says timidly. Anyone can feel the thick tension in the room. No doubt she also saw the headlines plastered all over the internet of your face. There was an urgency in her mannerism that told you she wanted out of this conversation as soon as possible.

“Yes, let them in! Don’t make them wait.” She waves frantically. The door closes, leaving the three of you alone for a moment.

“Liv, what is this?” Jake asks before you can.

“Y/N, control your anger and be kind to our guests. This is for you, remember that.” She plasters a large smile with her last words as the door opens; multiple voices can be heard behind you. What the hell does that mean?

“Miss Ortega, great to officially meet you and Sarah, thank you for meeting us on such short notice.” Your head snaps to the side as Liv steps out from behind the desk to greet the people behind you.

The sight has you struck dumb. Why is Wednesday Addams in your manager’s office?

Granted, you know who she is. Who doesn’t? You can barely drive down any highway in L.A. without seeing her face plastered on some sort of billboard or building. But why is she here, in this office?

“Y/N I’d like you to meet Miss Ortega…” You were still rooted in your chair, just staring at them like an idiot. An uptick of a brow is raised as Jenna watches you remain unmoving.

“Get up.” Jake kicks the back of your chair as he rounds the desk to greet Jenna and her manager, gritting under his breath. You spring up at the thud, rubbing your back in annoyance.

“Nice to meet you, Miss Ortega.” You extend your hand when she finishes greeting Jake.

She stood a good few inches under you, dressed casually in loose pants and a hoodie. She had a pair of sunglasses pushing her hair back, which was tied in a messy low bun; headphones around her neck.

You two have never crossed paths in all your years in Tinseltown – which was surprising considering you two are around the same age. There might have been an event or two that you had attended at the same time but you have never had the chance for a formal introduction. It wasn't difficult to see why the whole world was buzzing about Jenna Ortega.

“Just Jenna is fine.” She slides her hand in yours, sending a small, shy smile. The sparks you feel when your palms connect has you flinching almost imperceptibly. You see Jenna’s eyes snapping toward your connected hands telling you she may have felt it too. But before you can think too hard on it, you’re pulling away from her grasp.

“Let’s all sit down, so we can tell you why you’re both here.”

Jenna takes the armchair to your left, and you fight to keep your sight straight ahead. “There’s no easy way to break the news. But here’s the CliffsNotes version. Over 24 hours ago, Y/N was arrested in Vegas. The press is having a field day, they already have the paps planted outside her house and every location she frequents. Our solution… a PR relationship, just until all of this has died down.”

You stare deadpan at Liv. Out of all the years, you have known her, this has to be the most balls-to-the-wall, bonkers shit she’s ever said to you.

“What?” A sweet voice piques beside you, voicing out the shock you weren’t able to verbalize.

“A fake relationship, sweetie.” Her manager, Sarah says in a much sweeter tone than Liv could ever muster.

You can see her shake her head from your side eye. “We agreed to no PR stunts like this, Sarah.”

“I know, Jen. But with the recent controversy online… we just think this may be a good look. Liv called me last night and we came up with this plan and thought it couldn’t hurt with both of your situations.” At least her manager sounded apologetic.

Jenna scoffs, feeling irritated and ambushed. “No offence, but I can handle a few nobodies online. And my situation is nowhere near as bad as hers. If anything how would pairing me up with someone who does drugs be good for my image.”

Your head snaps to her, nearly growling, “Watch it. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

She bites back, turning to glare at you. “Is it not the truth?”

“No.”

“We got a drug user and a liar, great.” She mutters under her breath.

“Okay stop! You two don’t have a choice,” Sarah speaks up, sending Jenna a look you didn’t care enough to decipher.

“Get someone else,” You say to Liv, ignoring everyone else around you. “Literally anyone else, please.”

Jenna puffs out an incredulous scoff. “Screw you, dude.”

“Screw you too!”

“Jenna!” “Y/N!” The adults of the room shout over one another, chastising you both.

“That’s enough!” Jake shouts, getting you to break your intense glaring at the other actress. Jake’s tone slightly scared you, he was never one to raise his voice. And you knew you were balancing on some very thin and fragile ice with him at the moment.

“This is the plan and that’s final! Jenna, everyone sees you as America’s sweetheart after the success of Wednesday. As much as it sucks, everyone is watching your next move, personally and professionally. And Y/N, you’ve been in the press for literally all the wrong things this year, and yet, the public can’t get enough of you. It’s good publicity on both sides… So you two will learn to get along – for the sake of both of your careers.” He says with a tone that leaned on threatening and you didn’t have the balls the challenge him on that.

You had worked too hard for the life you have today just for it to be thrown away by a careless mistake. So if you had to buckle down and act in love with one of the most annoying people you had ever met, in world-record time, then so be it.

“How long…” You mumble, dropping your head in defeat.

“Three months at most. Less the quicker people forget about your night at the county jail.” Liv answers.

“Fine…” You conceded.

A few seconds of silence ring out before she answers, “Fine…”

●●●

Jake and Liv @ Reader:

I swear there's a SpongeBob meme for everything.

#jenna ortega #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega x you #jenna ortega x fem!reader #wednesday netflix #legally binded

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radioisntdead · 5 months

Text

Adore

Alastor x reader

Warnings:

This is short, not my best work I WILL REDEEM MYSELF. Alastor is implied to break in at the end.

Good evening folks!

APOLOGIES FOR THIS BEING DELAYED, I accidentally deleted the whole thing and then I just laid on Barnaby out of defeat and slept.

ANYWAYS HERE'S WEDNESDAY'S ANGST, or Wednesday's poor excuse for angst, the original was better.

I'll be posting another angst fic later today, hopefully, it's either gonna be with Lute or another Alastor one

Song

A-one, two, three, four

You completely and utterly adored Alastor, how could you not?

He was quite charming! Sure he was a cannibalistic murderer but that for some reason wasn't a deal breaker for you.

A side effect from being in hell probably or possibly because you were just as screwed up as he was just in a different format!

Everything you do, it sends me

You had met him while working at Rosie's emporium, Rosie had asked you to make some tea while she taught Alastor the newest slang she had gathered.

Higher than the moon with every twinkle in your eye

Turns out you both had so much in common!

Both of you had gained deer attributes after your fall to eternal damnation, had a strong distaste for the lustful cravings of the flesh, thought cannibalism was neat, Rosie was a dear friend, and held a fondness and strong preference for the years you were alive.

You strike a match that lights my heart on fire

Rosie being the matchmaker she was decided to nudge the two of you together, after all she saw how well you and Alastor matched together, and it worked! Of course it did.

When you're near, I hide my blushing face

You and Alastor fit together perfectly, like pillows and blankets, like shoes and laces.

And trip on my shoelaces

He'd take you dancing, hand gently placed on your waist when you would dance more classically, or you'd have arms and legs frailing around like a octopus when you'd give more energetic dances a try.

Grace just isn't my forté

The two of you enjoyed cooking together in the kitchen, Jambalaya, curries, biscuits and gravy, pasta, gumbo, baked breads and whatever else you could think of, you made together.

But it brings me to my knees when you say

You'd help Alastor out with his radio broadcast, by either proofreading his scripts or finding an unfortunate sinner to make an appearance with their screams.

Hello, how are you, my darling, today?

You didn't know where things went wrong, everything was going well!

I fall into a pile on the floor, deer love is hard to ignore

At least you thought so, the last day you spent with Alastor the two of you had made a lovely dinner together, you had set the table with fresh flowers, a candle or two.

When every little thing you do, I do adore

After dinner the two of you danced to some jazzy song from his era, and he twirled you around.

We're as different as can be

His hand holding yours.

I've noticed you're remarkably murdery and I'm slightly less murdery

His red eyes staring adoringly into yours.

We balance out each other nicely

You gave him a kiss on the cheek before you went to sleep that night.

You wear fancy shoes in the snow

You had awoken in the morning and Alastor wasn't there.

You assumed he had stepped out and he'd be back soon.

In mid-July, I still feel cold

But as the clock continued to tick and the red skies turned into a deeper red you were worried but you knew he could handle himself maybe he just got caught up in something? Perhaps with that TV guy he was 'friends' with?

We're opposites in every way

Hours turned into days and days into weeks,

No one had heard from nor had they seen Alastor.

You looked everywhere for him, asking around, desperately trying to find out where he went.

but I can't resist it when you say

Vox apparently tried to get him to join his little V themed posse and Alastor rejected him, rather harshly and also broke his little TV antenna while he was at it.

Hello, how are you, my darling, today?

Rosie hadn't heard from him either, and obviously you wouldn't be asking around if you knew where he was.

I fall into a pile on the floor

Weeks turned into months and before you knew it those months became years.

He was just gone, leaving only traces of his existence.

Puppy love is hard to ignore, when every little thing you do, I do adore

For the first few years you would frequently pop into his radio tower, hoping that maybe, just maybe he would be there for some reason, and when he undoubtedly wasn't, you cleaned the place up, keeping it in tip top shape.

Finding words, I mutter

Once it hit the five year mark you stopped popping in, allowing dust and whatever else to consume the radio tower untill further notice.

Tongue-tied, twisted

You stopped hoping that Alastor would just waltz on into your shared home, with that yellowed grin of his and static following.

Hoove in mouth, I start to stutter, Ha, ha, Heaven help me

You stopped looking for Alastor.

Hello, how are you, my darling, today?

Seven years, he was gone for seven years,

He was back and he didn't have the decency to even pay you a visit? You had to hear about his return from him publicly beefing with Vox.

I fall into a pile on the floor, Puppy love is hard to ignore

If Alastor wasn't going to come find you then you wouldn't go out of your way to find him either, even if that hazbin hotel where he was residing was only a 30 minute walk away.

When every little thing you do, I do adore

Alastor didn't intentionally ghost you, his absence was only supposed to be for a short while.

Unfortunately he was foolish enough to make a deal that had kept him away from you for seven long years, his dear friend Rosie had been kind enough to fill him in on your activities since his disappearance but not before scolding him harshly for not even having the decency to send a postcard.

Every little thing, ba-ba-ba-ba

He had been back for a time now, how rude of him to not pay his dearest a visit! After all you were looking for him until recent years right?

Every little thing, ba-ba-ba-ba

Alastor was someone you completely and utterly adored once.

And unfortunately he still adored you to some degree considering he was standing in front of you in the doorway of the house you had once shared, he was as smiley as ever, his grin grew larger as he saw your confused expression.

"Good evening my darl-" he was interrupted by you slamming the door in his face.

Every little thing you do, I do adore

It seems you weren't as excited to see him as he expected, oh well! Good thing for him that you didn't bother to change the locks.

Good evening folks my apologies, this is more comedic then angsty, hope you enjoyed though I will redeem myself.

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x you #alastor x reader #alastor x you

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inbarfink · 11 months

Text

Okay, so here’s the thing about Zim and GIR…

When talking about the idea that Zim might have some affection towards GIR - a lot of people bring up the fact that, like, GIR is even still functioning in the first place. After all, why would the Famously Sadistic and Callous Invader Zim keep around an evil minion who messes up as often as GIR does? Rather than scrap him for parts or just throw him in the trash? ….Unless he had some sort of emotional attachment to that minion in the first place?

But that’s… I’m actually not sure that argument 100% works. Because there’s one important variable that argument discards. GIR isn’t just a regular ol’ robotic minion - he is a special top-secret model SIR Unit personally gifted to Zim by the Almighty Tallests.

Zim cannot fully discard GIR as a worthless garbage robot that’s nothing but a hindrance to his mission the same way that he can’t discard Earth as a worthless garbage planet with no value to the Irken Empire - because that would be confronting and admitting that he is not actually a great and respected Invader in the eyes of his Tallests.

But I still think there are some other evidence to the idea that Zim likes GIR. Because, I mean, Zim is incredibly lenient towards him.

Zim… feels bad for yelling at GIR and making him cry.

Zim. Feels. Bad. For. Yelling.

This alone is incredible evidence for Zim’s affection towards GIR.

And that is absolutely not something Zim will do for just any minion. Just look at how he treats his Computer, and not to mention all those poor saps from Hobo 13.

The fact that in his deluded world, GIR is supposed to be a top-of-the-line personal gift from the Tallests certainly plays a part. But I also think that while these delusions might explain why he doesn’t throw GIR in the trash… Zim is very good at twisting reality and logic and his own ideology for the sake of justifying his own selfish desires.

If he actually wanted to hurt GIR, he could’ve very easily rationalized it as ‘you are supposed to be the bestest most prided minion in my army of doom and a personal gift from the Almighty Tallest themselves therefore I will hold you to a higher standard and punish you accordingly’. But instead he is incredibly lenient with GIR and his constant screw-ups and obnoxious whims.

So my read of why Zim is actually fond of GIR in his own weird way is very much tied to, like, a Big Thing about how I read Zim’s character in general. Which is, Zim’s delusion, like Ogres, has layers. Like, there are some aspects of reality that just genuinely never penetrated his thick Irken skull - and there are some things he does realize on some level even as he tries as hard as he can to convince himself otherwise.

So I think on some level, as much as he outwardly denies it, Zim is aware of how much he messed up things for the Irken Empire in ‘Impending Doom 1’ and how the Almighty Tallests really view him. This is basically how his thought process is described in the Pilot -

And it’s also supported with how Vasquez describes Zim’s similarities to Dib in some of the ‘Florpus’ interviews.

Dib is obviously painfully aware of the ways his father does not respect him - but for Zim to similarly want to prove his own amazingness to the Tallest, he has to be aware on some level that the Tallest don’t acknowledge that he’s amazing. And I think it also matches with his interactions with the various Tallests in the ‘The Trial’ Flashbacks. Because he wasn’t originally that feverishly devoted, eager to prove himself and deluded about being beloved by the Tallests as he is right now.

That’s a trait he has developed either in response to his spectacular failure in ‘Operation Impending Doom 1’ or just to Red and Purple - who already knew him beforehand and decided they can’t stand him - rising to power. He is aware on some level of how the Tallests perceive him, and while he cannot consciously acknowledge it, his behavior is him overcompensating for it.

And I think… Zim projects this aspect of himself on GIR. He sees himself in GIR. Not the self he wants to see, the hypercompetent and beloved Invader. But the self he keeps denying - a devoted and loyal minion who despite messing up sometimes (or rather, all the goddamn time), is always eager to please and driven to prove himself.

Which… is also not a fully accurate view of himself, but like I said, it’s Layers of self-delusion. But that’s subconsciously how he perceives his own relationship with the Tallests and how he perceives GIR’s relationship to himself.

So Zim being so tolerant of GIR’s constant screw ups, never really seriously punishing him, always putting him in important positions in his schemes, always acquiesce to his stupid and annoying whims… that’s because he sees himself in GIR, and that’s how he would like the Tallests to treat him, that’s how he pretends the Tallests already treat him, and so that’s the treatment he gives GIR. He believes he deserves these infinite second chances and high-ranking roles in all of the Empire’s universe-conquering plans despite his constant failures and that’s what he keeps doing with GIR despite being just as frustrated with him as the Tallests are with Zim.

And the thing is, because of Zim’s Extreme Projection to the Max - he kinda got the entirely wrong idea about GIR. Zim is not exactly that eager-to-please loyal drone of the empire - but GIR is not that at all, not even remotely. While GIR might have some affection towards Zim, he doesn’t care at all about the mission - much less being ‘allowed’ to do Important Things Vital for the fate of the Zim’s latest scheme. He would much rather goof off and watch TV then be given any sort of responsibility.

Again, the cupcake scene is very illustrative. Zim thinks GIR is upset because he feels very bad about screwing up their mission and thus is immediately forgiving - but GIR was only sad because he ran out of Cupcake to eat.

With how distractible and chaotic and generally detached from reality GIR is, it’s… kinda hard to determine when he’s trying to obey Zim’s orders but failing and when he just never really gave much of a shit about them in the first place.

But he’s usually not even a little bit bothered or upset about the idea that his inaction has put his ‘master’ in mortal danger.

I guess the funny thing is, like, there are times where Zim needs an extra pair of arms or eyes on board - times where he needs the skills of… maybe not GIR but at least a hypothetical fully-functional SIR Unit. But there are many other occasions where GIR is nothing but a burden and annoyance to him and the thing is that they both would’ve been happier if GIR was just allowed to stay home to watch TV and eat babies but Zim keeps putting him in important positions because Zim likes GIR but he’s unable to understand what GIR is actually like beyond an image of all the projected insecurities he can't admit about himself.

And of course, as we all know, if GIR was actually driven to fulfill their mission - that turns out very bad for Zim very very quickly.

#invader zim #iz #zim #zim iz #iz zim #gir #gir iz #iz gir #zim invader zim #gir invader zim #invader zim gir #invader zim zim #tallest red #almighty tallest #tallest purple #invader zim tallest #the almighty tallest #the tallest

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oleander-nin · 6 months

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Hi Nin!! Can i request the platonic yan Draxum with a human reader? Ty!!!

Platonic Yandere Draxum Headcanons

A/N, not important: I hope it's okay I did headcanons👍. I think I'm finally off my hiatus, so hi guys. Also, do you like the new format? I didn't change much, but y'know. Any criticism is welcome, constructive or not. This is supposed to be a gender neutral reader, so if I screwed up somewhere, please tell me. - Ollie

CW: kidnapping, infantilization, isolation, dark themes, yandere themes(I think that's all?)

Words: 470

Summary: Platonic Yandere Draxum Headcanons

Pre-redemption arc:

Keeps telling himself he’s going to mutate you. He hates humanity, but here you are, someone he surprisingly tolerates. He wants to mutate you, to use you as a test subject, but he can’t make himself actually do it. He doesn’t know what’s holding him back, but he knows he doesn’t want anything to go wrong when it comes to you.

He’ll probably keep you in his lair until he’s decided what to do with you, not willing to let you go and have you possibly alert the human world to his plans. Especially since he usually ends up monologuing to you a lot.

Is protective with you and will treat you like a servant or a minor assistant. He likes to explain what he’s doing science/mystic wise, even if you don’t understand. While he’s not the most patient, he’ll not fault you for not knowing what he’s talking about. You’re just a human after all.

After his lab explodes and he has to go to the surface, he’s even more determined to not let you leave his sight. He doesn’t want you talking to the foot, or other mutants in case they hurt you, so he just keeps you near him. Especially since you’re now somewhere you’re more familiar with, and have a higher chance at succeeding at escaping him.

Post redemption arc:

Still protective of you, gets grumpy when you complain about being stuck in the apartment. He doesn’t want you to leave, especially since the foot and Big Mama know what you look like because of all his dealings. He’s paranoid that one of them may grab you to use you against him.

Still doesn’t let you return home, even with you now living on the surface with him. He thinks your old family and friends don’t matter, especially since you have him to hang out with. Now that he has his job as well, he has a proper way to provide food and such for you. He sees no reason for you to leave, even more so since he doubts you’d come back.

Treats you like a small child no matter your age. Yokai live for hundreds if not thousands of years, and Draxum is definitely aware of this. You know nothing compared to him, and your life experience is negligible. You’re young and fragile and need him to help you through life. He can teach you everything you could possibly want to know.

Thinks you’re weak because you’re human. In a sense, he’s right of course, but he takes it to the extreme. He’ll act like your glass or refuse to let you do things you want because he thinks you’ll end up hurt. Unless he needs you to help him with something, he or Huginn and Muninn do everything for you.

Tag list: @f1oricide @itsyagurlchip @lordfreg @acutiewithagun @rottmnttmnt2012 @lixnininotnay @lexiechr @ssak-i

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chaoticace2005 · 7 months

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Why Sir Pentious got redeemed:

1. He was killed so his soul got re-evaluated (if so what happens to all other Sinners who die?)

2. He got redeemed a millisecond before Adam killed him, the intent of sacrificing himself being enough to get into heaven

3. He was destined to be redeemed when he put his pride away and confessed to Cherri

4. Being in Heaven or Hell is based on whether or not you believe you’re a good person. At that moment his opinion of himself shifted enough to qualify for Heaven.

5. He racked up enough good points to be redeemed, as did Angel, the only reason he’s there and Angel isn’t is because Valentino owns Angel’s soul.

6. Susan owned Sir Pentious’ soul, keeping him tied to Hell. She died at that very moment though, releasing him.

7. Susan is a bad bitch and can’t die. But she saw how stupid he was about to be and was like “I give up”, releasing him.

8. The universe knew that Adam was going to die and there always has to be one Alex Brightman in Heaven. They couldn’t take Fizzarolli because they don’t want to deal with Asmodeus, so they defied their own rules and took Sir Pentious.

9. He didn’t get redeemed. His design was just re-used and this is a totally different Winner, the story just ended like this to give us hope

10. He didn’t get redeemed, this is Charlie’s hope of what did happen because she can’t accept his death

11. All of Hazbin is a story being told by Frank, and he added his boss going to Heaven because that’s what he believes happened (either a conspiracy theory or that’s what the Hazbin crew told him.)

12. Using a war machine to kill people was the last sin he needed to repent for, the fact he was redeemed before Adam’s blast is just luck.

13. Adam’s blast beamed Sir Pentious up to Heaven

14. Adam’s blast is actually a de-Sinner, usually it kills people but because Sir Pentious didn’t have a lot of Sin-juice he was reborn

15. He chose that moment to convert to a born again Christian. He was born again.

16. He sneezed and an angel blessed him

17. This was another “fuck you” from the universe: he kissed the girl he liked and made a family only for it all to be taken away

18. It’s a Good Place situation where he thinks he’s in Heaven but it’s really not and this is just extra torture.

19. He’s in purgatory and this is what he’s dreaming.

20. It’s a test by the higher ups in Heaven “OH you think heaven is good for Sinners? Wrong!” Then they chose a guy who was starting to find happiness in Hell to prove their point that Sinners can’t find joy in Heaven

21. His death was so anticlimactic the universe felt like it had to give him a second chance.

22. Vox is a heavenly official in disguise (the TV is just a mask.) And told him back in episode 2 to kill himself, Sir Pentious sacrificing himself fulfilled that wish, so the universe redeemed him for fulfilling Vox’s challenge

23. Lilith ex-machina came in last minute like a girl boss and saved his ass. Her powers transcend time.

24. That’s Sir Pentious’ clone, which Pentious had programmed to be released the second he died (there may be tons of Alex Brightmans in the world, but there can only be one Sir Pentious.)

25. Charlie learns how to redeem Sinners in the future. She also learns to time travel, so she grabs Sir Pentious at that last second before he died, helps him get redeemed and then chucks him back into the timeline because screw the consequences.

26. Alex Brightman got amnesia and said “H-huh?! Where-where am I?!” during recording. Everyone though he just ad-libbed a line and tried to make it fit in.

27. The Eggs are secretly gods. They blessed and saved Pentious before Adam could kill them.

28. Emily saw what he was about to do and pulled a lever. It was the right lever.

29. Last minute someone realized the play on words with Pentious’ name (Sir Repentious) and added this scene in

30. Alex Brightman was originally not going to return to the show, so Pentious and Adam died. Later things changed and he could return, but most filming had already been done so they took him aside and filmed that final scene separately and added it in.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel memes #sir pentious #sir repentious #stupid hazbin hotel lists #hazbin hotel crack #alex brightman #adam hazbin hotel #cherrisnake

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livwritesstuff · 7 months

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Question- do Steve and Eddie (mostly Eddie) only do the fun, lighthearted pranks? Does Eddie ever try a “meaner” prank (i.e., “I hit your car with mine,” *waking from a dead sleep* “get up my boyfriend is coming,” ‘not saying I love you before leaving,’ etc.)? How does Steve (yes, he’s a therapist, but there’s still a trauma response because of what he went through) react to it?

I 100% think Eddie pulled some shit earlier in their relationship (like, pre-kids era) that he learned real quick not to repeat for the sake of his relationship with Steve (which he really does value, no matter how many of his behaviors might contradict that).

Like, maybe he once answered a phone call, and when Steve asked who it was (it was Robin), he said, “Oh, no one. Just my other boyfriend.”

(Robin just said, “Jesus fucking Christ, Eddie,” and hung up).

Steve did not appreciate that one at all, obviously.

I also feel like Eddie might have gotten somewhat lax about Hazel’s adoption (because it was their third go of it at that point and they already had her older sisters and they had the same judge as the last two, which made it basically a shoe-in in Eddie’s eyes, so he didn’t really feel like he needed to be all that checked-in), and maybe Will is learning how to use Photoshop for editing at the time, so Eddie sends him a picture of Hazel being tossed up into the air by Eddie and asks him to edit it to look like she’s way higher up than she actually is because, to him, that’s funny, and he thought Steve might find it funny too.

He turned out to be very incorrect. Steve was incredibly upset, and they ended up having a very long argument about it (because, in Steve’s opinion, that photo in the wrong hands meant game over for their adoption case, and he would never forgive Eddie if he did something to screw up the adoption).

As Eddie gets older, he finds the mean pranks less and less funny.

I feel like the only people who really find those meaner pranks funny are young people – kids and very young adults, so Hazel sees that leave without saying I love you trend on TikTok and doesn’t see any issue with it at all, but when she tries to convince Eddie to try it on Steve, he outright refuses.

“Oh c’mon,” Hazel goads, “I bet it’d be funny.”

“Nope,” Eddie replies, because he knows for a fact how that kind of thing cuts deeper for Steve than their kids realize, “Not doing it, Haze. Give it up already.”

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gabrielsbubblegumbitch · 8 months

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I’m sorry but can you write more stuff about Vox being a gaslighter? I’m actually obsessed with your analysis

Thaaanks I'm obsessed about them too~ 🩵❤️

So, Vox is like the ultimate gaslighter. Manipulation and brainwashing? That's his whole freaking business plan. I mean, come on, the Voxtek slogan is "Trust Us," and somehow, people actually do.

Oh, let's talk about Voxtek - he's the worst, most manipulative boss ever. He's always pulling stuff like withholding essential information for a task someone's supposed to do, then publicly blaming them for screwing up. And he's sneaky about it too, acting all concerned and disappointed instead of just yelling. It makes people feel useless and insecure, so they bust their butts trying to please him and win back their colleagues' respect, never daring to stand up for themselves. Plus, he's a pro at keeping relationships between higher-up managers tense and distrustful by spreading rumors and creating a competitive vibe. And don't get me started on how he's a total hypocrite - Voxtek, like every other company, preaches its values and missions to create this fake sense of safety and purpose, but then he goes and acts against them or lets someone else do so. It leaves people feeling confused and helpless because they can't play the game when the rules keep changing. Let me tell you, Satan might work hard, but Voxtek's HR department works even harder.

And manipulating people on a personal level? Way too easy for him. People who don't know him well enough think he's some kind of genius (bless their hearts), so they give him way too much credibility. It's crucial for him to be seen as competent because that's how he stays in control. That's why he loves to question the competence of his business partners (Not to be that guy, but those numbers don't look great. Are you sure you can handle this? I don't want to waste my money.) or Valentino (Babe, I've got this. We both know you're not great with financial planning.). Thought hardly ever works on Velvette because she's got zero bullshit tolerance.

Now, when it comes to Valentino, Vox has zero remorse about gaslighting him. To him, gaslighting isn't even violence; it's just a way of handling things, all neat and effective. Why bother yelling and arguing when he can just manipulate Val into agreeing with him? It's like what we saw in episode 2. And even when Val has every right to be angry because Vox acted like a jerk, Vox tends to devaluate his emotions (I don't have time to deal with another temper tantrum, Val; You're always so pissy, why can't you just chill?) or tries to make him doubt his own reality (Maybe you'd remember it better if you weren't high all the time.). He hates arguing with Val, but also is unable to admit that he's wrong, so in his mind, undermining Val's ability to call him out on his bad behavior is a way of keeping their relationship healthy. But it's risky because sometimes Val sees through his manipulations, especially when they're about his feelings, and then things get even messier.

I like to think they trust each other when it comes to serious stuff, like protecting each other from outside dangers, but at the same time, it's like Mr. Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss is married to Mr. Manipulate Mansplain Manwhore - you never know if he's being genuinely nice or if he's trying to get you to do something.

#hazbin hotel #vox #voxval #valentino #hazbin vox #valentino hazbin hotel #staticmoth #headcanon #ask #you know i actually work in HR and sometimes i actively think about voxtek as an organization which is weird

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themousefromfantasyland · 8 months

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Was Star really supposed to be Asha's love interest in the beginning of the development of Disney's Wish?

I keep seeing this being brought up everywhere, appearing even on Trivia TikTok videos about the movie, but as far as I know this is coming from a deeply misunderstanding of the development process.

The main idea is that Star-boy was supposed to be Asha's love interest and that At All Costs was supposed to be their love song.

Seeing the concept arts of Star-boy I can see where most people are coming from. I'm also think that Asha and him are definitely shippable.

However, in the Art of Wish, Star-boy was just the third stage of the character development, and on that stage he was meant to be Asha's deceased grandfather reborn. On the first stage he was supposed to be a shapeshifter and on the final stage a ball of pure energy.

You can say they missed the opportunity of having Star stay as a magical boy like Peter Pan, but it's clear that on that stage his relationship with Asha was probably going to be platonic. No romance here.

Then why do At All Costs sound so much like a love song?

Luckily for us, Jennifer Lee, one of the writers for the film and chief creative officer of the Walt Disney Animation Studios, and Julia Michaels, the songwriter for the movie, gave an interview to Variety explaining their reasons.

The song “At All Costs,” sung by Asha and King Magnifico, was important to Lee. The song navigates the importance of the wishes to each of them, and the two are emotionally aligned here. Lee pushed for a song expressing this. “You had to understand what it felt like to hold someone’s wish in your hand. How do we viscerally understand that when you’re with them, you feel like you’re holding someone’s raison d’être?” she says. “You can’t do this in any other way but song.

Since there was no love song in the film, Michaels wanted to write a song that as a standalone sounded like a love song that could be played at weddings. Yet in the context of the film, it’s about the heroine and villain. Says Michaels, “How cool would it be if we wrote a song that if you listened to on its own, it sounds like a love song, it could be something you could play at your wedding, or be a lullaby to your kids, just something really beautiful, but when you watch the film, it’s the heroine and it’s the villain.” She continues, “You realize they’re coming about this both from various points, one from a very selfless standpoint and one from a selfish standpoint.”

Basically Jennifer Lee wanted a song about the importance of the the wishes for both Asha and Magnifico, but Julia Michaels wanted to write a love song. As there were no opportunities to write a love song, Michaels wrote At All Costs to sound like one.

But in the demo, they sing "Love you, as one does", instead of "Promise, as one does"?

Probably Julia Michaels wanted to write a love song, but had to tone it down so as to not confuse the audience. Clearly, it didn't work that well.

Disney is lying!

Why would Disney lie about the development of Wish? As far as I know, there's nothing to hide, no scandals, no controversies.

Jenifer Lee is literally the chief creative officer, the highest ranking position of the creative team within the Walt Disney Animation Studios. She along Allison Moore WROTE the screenplay and she is part of the team that came up with that story. Wish was her brainchild. Why would she need to lie?

Maybe higher ups like Bob Iger and Bob Chapek screwed with the project. That's completely possible. Maybe we learn later some big and super shady controversy in the development of the movie.

But, by the time being, with all the evidences available, Wish seems to be the story she and others of the studio wanted to tell, even if general audiences reacted badly.

And so far, no evidence of romance.

Unless someone comes out with some legitimate evidence of the contrary, Star was never supposed to be Asha's love interest, and everything else is consequence of fans being dissatisfied with the end product and wanting for something more Disney-like.

#disney #wish #disney wish #star x asha #disney concept art #wish 2023

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ramblingthoughtsofayoungadult · 9 months

Text

Unpredictable, Part 7-Limoreau x black!fem!reader fic

A/N: Thanks for your patience with this next part. Please let me know what you think!

Warnings: some sensuality, sexual references, and swearing

Words: 4.3k

Taglist: @badbishsblog, @gardenof-venus, @darksoul100

Series Masterlist

The first thing I noticed was a pair of voices. One was deeper while the other was higher pitched. I could not see anything or make any sense of what they were saying. It was like I was in a sensory deprivation tank, and I was just…floating.

How had I gotten there? How did I get out of there?

When I tried to move my arms, they wouldn’t move. It was the same with the rest of my body. I tried to open my mouth to ask for help but it was like my lips were glued together. My body began to tingle, and I could feel the panic begin to rise from the pit of my stomach.

Please…someone…help me.

Then, one of the voices got closer to me. “Y/N…Y/N, wake up! Come on, Y/N!”

I knew that voice…it was Andre. Then, I felt a strong pair of hands on my shoulders shaking them. The jostling made me want to flinch but instead, my eyes finally flew open, and Andre stared back at me. My eyes scanned the area for a second and my shoulders slumped, and the panic dissipated when I recognized we were in Cate’s dorm.

“What…happened?” I asked slowly.

Andre sighed. “Cate said you passed out.”

“I did?”

I glanced over at Cate, who was standing a few feet away. She hugged her stomach and smiled tightly.

“Yeah, I think the strain I gave you was too strong,” she explained.

At her words, the image of us sitting on her rug and laughing as we passed her bong flooded my memory. But, there was something off about it and I couldn’t explain why. All I knew was that I never passed out after smoking with any of my friends. Maybe there was a first time for everything?

“Oh,” I muttered.

Andre helped me to my feet. “So, how’s the investigation going?”

“Investigation?” I repeated.

Andre frowned. “Yeah, about our memories and what the hell happened at Dusty’s.”

It was like a lightbulb went off in my head and I remembered that we all had two days of our memories wiped. I vaguely remembered talking to Jordan and Marie about it, but I had a nagging feeling that we also talked about something else. For the life of me, I couldn’t remember it.

So, I told Andre what I knew, and he nodded as he processed.

Cate slowly approached us. “That’s why you came here, Y/N. You were stressed because you figured out who it was and didn’t know your next move.”

Immediately, an image of me pacing in Cate’s dorm while she actively listened flooded my brain. There was something off about that memory too but, maybe I was thinking too much.

“Oh.”

Andre’s eyes lit up. “You figured out who it was? Give me that name so I can handle that son of a bitch now.”

I remembered figuring it out and I remembered feeling conflicted about it. But, when I thought about who had done it, my brain felt fuzzy.

“It was Rufus, Y/N figured out it was Rufus and was nervous about how to approach because of my history with him,” Cate interjected.

Something shifted in Andre’s eyes as he faced Cate. Suddenly, I wanted to be as far away from him as possible.

“After that, he had the nerve to screw with all of us?” Andre seethed.

Cate nodded, eyes watering slightly. “That’s why Y/N was so scared, and I thought smoking would help. We also talked about her feelings about other things and right when it got resolved, she passed out.”

Even though her voice was strained, she rattled off everything confidently. There had to be something wrong with my head because I did remember opening up to her about Jordan and Marie, but I didn’t remember smoking or discussing Rufus. But, since Cate was the most sober out of the two of us, she had to be right.

Andre turned to me. “So, you’ve figured yourself out?”

My face warmed and I started shifting my weight from foot to foot. “I guess.”

While knowing how I felt about both Marie and Jordan was liberating in one way, the thought of telling either of them was terrifying. I didn’t know how I wanted things to work out either and going into that kind of conversation without a plan was daunting.

“At least something good came out of this. Do you know where Rufus is?” Andre asked.

“He’s at Dusty’s.”

My mouth moved quicker than my brain and part of me wondered where that came from. However, neither Andre nor Cate questioned it as they hurried out of the dorm, and I trailed after them.

Andre was a force to be reckoned with as he stormed into Dusty’s place with Cate and me right behind him. If looks could kill, anyone he made eye contact with would be in serious danger. He charged into the living room, interrupting whatever conversation Rufus was having with Marie and Jordan.

“Andre, what are you doing here?” Marie asked.

“I’m here for him,” Andre growled, glaring at Rufus. “He’s the one who messed with our heads.”

Andre started to charge Rufus but Jordan stood between them and Marie was at his side.

“What? No. Didn’t you tell him, Y/N?” Marie asked.

“Tell him what?” I replied.

“About how Rufus couldn’t have done this. We only came back here to try to get some more answers out of him but he keeps repeating himself,” Marie explained.

“He sounds so pathetic, I kind of believe him,” Jordan added.

Her words sounded familiar, but I was lost; it was like she was speaking another language and quizzing me on it. At the same time, though, I felt something in the back of my head, almost like a key turning.

“What are you talking about? Y/N’s the one who figured out it was him. She just told me,” Andre bit.

“And she’s never wrong,” Cate added.

I shook my head. “Why would I tell Marie and Jordan one thing and you two something else?”

“Maybe you were confused?” Cate suggested.

“Can someone just keep him away from me?” Rufus wailed from his cowering position on the couch.

“The more you talk, the harder I’m gonna beat your ass into the ground.” Andre tried to rush forward but Jordan easily held him back.

“Breathe, Andre.” Jordan’s voice was even but even they must have understood that an angry Andre was going to be tough to talk down.

Marie stepped away from Jordan and walked closer to me, a slight frown on her face. “Y/N, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing…I…I don’t know. I’m just---”

The ringing pain in my head cut me off and I yelped as I grabbed my forehead.

“Y/N!” Marie carefully grabbed my shoulders.

“What’s wrong?” Cate asked.

But I couldn’t respond, the pain was almost mind-numbingly bad. However, the fuzzy and clear thoughts continued to battle in my brain, knocking into walls I didn’t know were there. I didn’t know how much time had passed but when it was over, all I could do was slowly look at Cate.

“You,” I whispered.

“What?” Cate replied.

“You…did this. I don’t know how I figured it out, but I know you did this.”

As I backed away from her, I realized that Marie’s hands were still on my shoulders, and it was like she was pulling me away from her. A new kind of tension took over the room as Andre straightened up and glanced at me.

“What are you talking about, Y/N?” Andre asked.

“She’s confused,” Cate insisted.

I shook my head. “I’m a little fuzzy but I have this weird feeling I wasn’t always like this. I have a feeling that I wasn’t in your dorm to smoke because I was afraid of Rufus or the other stuff we talked about; I figured it out.”

The silence in the space made me hyper-aware of everything; Andre was much more relaxed compared to when we came in and his eyes darted between Cate and me; Jordan strode towards Marie and I; Marie’s grip on my shoulders tightened; and Cate stared at us, eyes practically begging.

“That makes a lot of sense; you’re smart enough to pull something like this off and we wouldn’t have noticed if you touched us,” Jordan observed.

“Come on, why would I do something like that?” Cate challenged.

“I don’t know but I do know that Y/N doesn’t lie,” Andre affirmed.

I had never seen Cate backed into a corner. She was always so articulate and quick-witted that she could get out of everything. It was strange watching her squirm and I couldn’t help but coil away from her in anxiety of what she would do in such a new position.

She opened and closed her mouth a few times. Then, she looked at her boots for a while. After a few moments, she hiccupped and her shoulders shook.

“Why did you push us, Cate?” I whispered.

Cate looked up at me, tears running down her face. “I just wanted everyone to be happy.”

“Happy? You thought making us lose our memories would make us happy?” Andre spat.

“I can explain,” Cate insisted.

“I don’t want to hear it,” Andre muttered.

“I do,” Marie stated. “I want to know exactly what made you do this to us.”

“After she gives us back our memories,” Jordan insisted.

Cate agreed and I texted Emma to come to Dusty’s so she could recover her memories.

For a second, I thought that recovering my memories would be painful and overwhelming, but it wasn’t. It was like a montage of everything that had happened. All the smells, touches, and feelings were unfamiliar but comforting at the same time.

When Cate let go of my face, I backed away from her.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

I couldn’t answer her. Instead, I glanced at Jordan and Marie, who both looked sheepish since they had gotten their memories back before me. Knowing exactly what happened that night added a whole new fun layer to the conversations I knew I would have to have with both of them.

Emma, who was standing next to me, playfully nudged me and wiggled her eyebrows. “I expect all the dirty details later.”

I playfully shooed her and stepped aside so that she could get her memories. Andre was standing on the other side of the room, stewing. He was the first to get his memories back and he’d been sitting like that since.

“Wow,” Emma exclaimed when Cate finished.

“That’s everything,” Cate muttered.

Emma gave her the dirtiest look possible and called her something that made me flinch. “I’m gonna go find Sam.”

She rushed out of Dusty’s, leaving the five of us in the living room. Cate looked at us helplessly and I felt something hard in my chest.

“You can explain now,” Marie encouraged.

Cate sighed. “Shetty said that you all needed to forget about the Woods; that it was too dangerous. She said that I’d be protecting you.”

“Wait, Shetty put you up to this?” I asked.

“She asked me to do this; she said that I would be helping you!” Cate insisted. “She said that Sam was too dangerous for any of us to get close to and I was trying to protect you----you saw what he did at Dr. Cordova’s!”

“That’s not a reason to mess with our heads, Cate,” Andre scowled.

“You could have talked to us; we could’ve figured something out,” Jordan mentioned.

“I’m so sorry,” Cate whispered.

Andre shook his head. “I’m done.”

He stormed off and Marie wandered after him. Cate’s eyes bored into the side of my head, and I forced myself to look at her.

“Y/N…”

“I…I need some water,” I mumbled.

My feet carried me to Dusty’s filthy kitchen and I started searching everywhere for some water. Suddenly, I was parched, and as my vision got blurry, I understood why. Then, I started focusing on my surroundings.

“I see five empty beer cans, I smell four different strange smells, I am touching two cabinet doors, and,” I paused at the heavy footfalls, “I hear one pair of footsteps.”

Jordan looked down at me for a second and I couldn’t read their expression as they handed me a water bottle. I backed away from the cabinets and accepted it.

“Thanks,” I said.

The water was a relief and I sighed when I finished gulping.

“So,” Jordan started.

“So…”

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

I laughed humorlessly. “Exhausted is the only thing I can think of. I feel like my brain was the ball in a game of ping pong.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

Jordan glanced at his hands. “Yeah but, I still feel shitty about everything.” “Everything?”

Jordan’s eyes snapped up to meet mine and he almost looked panicked. “No, shit, I didn’t mean last night; I mean with Cate messing with us but especially you.”

I hesitated and fumbled with the water bottle cap. “Oh.”

“Yeah, you should’ve seen yourself earlier; you looked lost and confused and I hate seeing you like that,” he rambled.

Despite the reminder, Jordan’s words made me feel giddy inside and I tried to keep the smile off my face. I had to take the conversation slowly.

“I hated feeling like that, but I appreciate you backing me up,” I expressed. “You and Marie.”

Jordan grabbed my free hand. “I know you and I know that your intuition is always right.”

I hoped it was right then as I sipped some more water. “So, about last night…”

Jordan hesitated and released my hand to rub the back of his neck. “Yeah, um, we should talk about that.”

This was new. Since I knew them, Jordan was always one of the most confident people in the room. They always looked people in the eye and had no problem seducing anyone they wanted. I only saw them flustered a couple of times but never when it came to anything romantic. It was kind of sweet.

“I know you said we were ‘okay’ but I also don’t know what that means since this is all new to me,” I admitted.

It took a few seconds for the words to sink in and once they did, Jordan’s eyes widened.

“You mean that last night was…”

I nodded and fumbled with the bottle cap. “And I know that guys freak out when a girl says that or they have some weird fetish about it, which is kind of why I’ve been avoiding talking about it with anyone. But, when you said things were ‘okay’ I felt really sad; like you were blowing me off.”

“No, shit, I didn’t mean it like that,” Jordan insisted. “I haven’t had the best experiences hooking up or dating people since most people only want one side of me. So, I tend to push my feelings away to avoid any…complications but I just didn’t want things to be awkward between us or for you to feel any pressure.” “But didn’t that just make things more complicated?”

Jordan groaned and ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, but the last thing I ever wanted was to blow you off or make you think that I blew you off. I’m really sorry, Y/N.”

I softly grabbed his hand with my free one, smiling at how his hand easily swallowed mine. “Just don’t do it again. I’m also super offended that you thought I didn’t like both sides of you. I mean, I kissed you when you were in female form.”

Jordan paused and eyed me for a second. “I thought that was so you could win.”

Okay, here it goes.

“The winning part was nice but I’ve also wanted to kiss you for a while now.”

There, I said it, it was out in the open for the most part. I could hear my heart beating in my ears as I watched a variety of emotions play across Jordan’s face. Then, he smirked.

“So, freshie’s had a crush on me for a while?” he teased.

I smacked his chest. “Why do you have to say it like that? You ruined it!”

“It does explain why you can’t keep your eyes off me,” Jordan sang.

“How would you know unless you were also looking?”

Jordan paused and scowled at me. “I miss when you weren’t this comfortable with me.”

“Really? You want me to be scared of you again?”

“Not scared but slower with comebacks.”

I laughed and swayed our clasped hands. “You’re the one who kept telling me you wanted to see me grow.”

“And I’m glad I got to see it.”

Was this why all the Si Chi girls in committed relationships grinned so wide their concealer creased when they saw their boyfriends? Were they all this good at making their hearts flutter and making them feel comfortable at the same time? Was this what everyone was chasing?

“Now what?” I asked.

“Now it’s whatever you want.”

It was like they were in my head sometimes, forcing me to do things that I avoided.

“What if I want you and Marie?” I asked.

As soon as I said it, the familiar anxiety rose somewhere around my heart. It was exciting and nauseating at the same time.

Jordan’s eyes widened. “You’re full of surprises, freshie.” “I keep surprising myself,” I admitted. “But, I know you two like each other and I like both of you and I feel weird even though I just poured my heart out. I don’t want to make things weird with either of you so if you don’t want to do this or stay friends or anything, I can deal with that.”

I wasn’t sure if that last part was true, but I wanted to give Jordan an out. They didn’t sign up to be in a relationship with me and another person anyway. Seeing them all the time would be painful too but, people got over breakups or relationships that never started every day.

All of a sudden, Jordan’s thumb gently wiped my left cheek. It was only then that I realized that I was crying and smiling simultaneously. He seemed concerned and I opened my mouth but he spoke first.

“You don’t have to act happy when you’re really scared or miserable around me,” he stated.

His words almost made me cry harder but he continued.

“And you didn’t let me answer your question. I’m open to exploring things with both of you…in a relationship.”

I gasped and covered my mouth. “Seriously?”

Jordan laughed and nodded. “Yes. When you caught us in her dorm the other day, we both wanted to talk to you but all this shit with GOD U got in the way. We tried to talk to you but, you avoided both of us until Dusty’s party.”

“Oh.”

“And then we skipped talking and went straight to sex.”

“Jordan!”

“What? It’s true.”

Thanks to the recovered memories, I did recall diving further into Rush Week festivities to distract myself. I also recalled how they separately tried to corner me at Dusty’s party and how we eventually---

I shivered at the thought and let my hands fall to my sides. “But, what if Marie---” “Look into the future if you’re that nervous about it but, I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”

I huffed. “I can’t use my powers right now even if I wanted to.”

Then, I wondered why I never thought of doing that earlier. Was I that busy with uncovering the conspiracy with the school and house recruitment? Or was it something else?

Jordan’s jaw clenched. “I can’t believe she messed with your head that bad.”

“And after I spilled my guts to her. I thought she was my friend, but a friend wouldn’t do that to me.”

“I don’t get why Marie wants to hear her out so bad, especially when she hasn’t known Cate as long as us.”

I sighed. “I think it’s because she’s the type of person to see the best in everyone and she must still see something in Cate.”

“I never got people who acted like that.”

“Maybe this is your chance to learn.”

Jordan smirked. “Look at you being optimistic about this already.”

“It’s just a possibility,” I muttered.

Despite that, my face and body felt warm all over. It was like I just had some hot tea on a cold night. It was different than usual happiness, I felt elated. So, the thought of her rejecting any part of this was even more gut-wrenching.

Then, one of Jordan’s hands softly cupped my jaw, almost like he was handling a porcelain cup or a baby animal. He tilted my head up to look at him and his eyes seemed to bore into my own.

“Is this okay?” he whispered, breath tickling my nose.

I nodded.

“Say it,” he quietly requested.

“Yes.” When his lips touched mine, I mewled, and I tried to pull away as the embarrassment clouded me. However, Jordan just pulled me closer, grinning into the kiss. My hands roamed from his neck to his taut shoulders and then his chest. Jordan’s hands slid to the small of my back and pulled me closer to him. When we separated, he smiled, revealing his dimples that appeared on rare occasions.

“Why did----” “Don’t overthink it and go find Marie, freshie,” Jordan insisted.

Walking away from him was surprisingly difficult; it was almost like they had a magnetic field around him. Somehow, I stumbled away and started searching the other rooms for Marie. As I wandered, I wished that I had found the time to make a spreadsheet of all the things I could say. I was never good at improvisation and needed a plan when speaking with people.

Somehow, it worked with Jordan, but I had no idea how things would go with Marie.

When I opened the next door, I gasped when I found Cate slumped on the bed. She leapt to her feet when the door opened and her eyes were stunned when she saw me.

“Sorry, I was looking for someone else,” I grumbled.

“Wait!” she called as I turned away. “Y/N, can we please talk?”

Her statement lit a fire in me that I didn’t know was there. Immediately, I whirled towards her.

“What else is there to say, Cate? You manipulated all of us because Shetty told you to,” I hissed.

“I’m sorry, I never meant to hurt you or anyone.” She approached me slowly, almost the same as a hunter would a bear.

I scoffed. “Your intentions don’t mean anything; you hurt all of us.”

Cate stopped a few feet away from me. “I know and I want to make it right.”

It was as though we were talking in circles, and I was so tired, physically and mentally. I didn’t know how much more of the conversation I could take.

“Make it right? You gaslit me in front of all of our friends and pushed me to the point where I can’t even use my powers!”

Cate’s eyes widened. “What?”

I nodded and pinched my nose bridge. “Yes, ever since I came to from whatever dimension you sent my mind to, it’s like my powers are on mute.”

Cate flinched and crossed her hands in front of her. With her red eyes and slumped shoulders, one would have thought she was the one whose head got messed with. It incensed me that she acted like that but at the same time, I wanted to hug her.

“I panicked and I was just trying to get you to stay quiet. I shouldn’t have done that but Indira said that you’d benefit from it,” she whispered.

“Why would she think that?” I wondered.

Unless she didn’t.

Cate smiled sadly at me. “All I know is that she wants the best for both of us and I don’t think she’d lie about that.”

“But what about the others? A-and why did you get to remember when we couldn’t?” I questioned.

Cate sighed. “I don’t know. I just wish I could fix it.”

Even without my powers, I knew there was a fraction of a fraction of a possibility for Cate to fix any of this mess. At the very least, Cate would not be able to fix it alone.

Despite my better judgment, I stepped closer to her. “If you could figure out a way to pass all your finals and keep us all from getting caught from going off campus, you can probably figure out a way out of this mess.”

Cate sniffed. “Yeah, Andre did not make it easy last year.”

“No. I remember Jordan and Luke had to literally drag him off a party bus one night.”

Cate laughed. “And he kept yelling about how they were cockblocking.”

I crossed my arms over my chest. “And this isn’t me saying that I forgive you or anything. I’m just saying you might be able to make things better.”

My words didn’t seem to shock her as she nodded slowly. I couldn’t help but wonder how Dean Shetty got her to do all of this and how she thought I could benefit from this experience. This was the same woman I vented to about my parents, anxiety, Si Chi, and my goals. She was the same woman who helped me set up regular meetings with Brink to test my powers.

So, why had she made one of my best friends do this?

I reached out to touch Cate’s shoulder but as soon as I made contact, she disappeared. Actually, the room and Dusty’s house overall were disassembled like Legos. I was surrounded by the forest and the sight of a bright gray sky. I circled around several times but I didn’t see anyone else.

“Hello? Is anyone there?” I called.

It was such a stupid idea but it didn’t hurt. I swallowed and started treading towards the forest.

“Cate? Jordan? Marie? Andre?” I called.

A breeze whipped past me and I jumped but, this breeze was warm and it had been colder out lately.

“You forgot about me that easily?” a familiar voice teased.

I slowly turned around and choked out, “Luke?”

#black!reader #jordan li x reader #gen v x reader #limoreau x reader #marie moreau x reader

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