#i just wanna not feel like this | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

endearingly-vicious-sweetheart · 1 year

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New Years

and here we find ourselves fast approaching another years end but also a new beginning.

at least that what it should be

should feel like

but as

fate

would have it I once again find myself not seeing much to look back fondly on and even less to embrace the newness of the future towards.

as unoriginal as it feels I am woefully, tremendously, deeply, and secretly so very worried about this next year.

I don’t need it to feel as oppressively imposing as it

but it …..does.

another birthday awaits me next year and it’s the birthday everything changes.

A crossing of the threshold of life and while I have battled and won against the fear of age the beauty industry insists and tirelessly tries to poison me with

I have not defeated the social contract.

The expectations.

The dreams and hopes

that by —— I’d have something to show for it.

1. A savings account

2. A 401k

3. A home

4. A stable income

5. practical and commendable life skills

I have none of that and each new years I enter jt feels less and less appropriate

and even less like anyone cares.

Perhaps however I simply need to grow up.

Stiff upper lip and stop whining.

All the horrific catch phases meant to tell a fellow struggling human “ get with the program.”

…….and if the program has ….exhausted me?

has left me behind, insulted me , wore me to bone , corrupted my mind and frozen my heart….and my ability to offer geace to the one person who needs it most……

myself.

what then?

The year is fast approaching and I am once again staring it down bubbles in hand , confetti at the ready and heart heavy because …

this is the year for change

and I am not up to the task this year.

#thoughts #anxiety things #just saying #i just wanna cry #i just wanna not feel like this #i wish this were a poem #poetry

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eruhamster · 2 months

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not to be annoying but i do think a lot of people mischaracterize falin. shes got the most drastic canon v fanon thing going on. which i guess makes sense bc 1. we dont see much of her and 2. lot of the fan stuff are anime-onlies that have seen even less

but i think like a good 90% of the time i see falin-centric art or posts im like hrm hrm hrm thats all wrong no nope no-siree

she's just a cool chick that takes life as it comes, doesn't hold grudges even against a mother that apparently was trying to beat the magic outta her, finds her older brother the coolest person in the world, and has autism about observing life (and death, she loves the ghosts she has a connection to) and nature and taking care of things (including taking care of her brother, which is why she's even in the dungeons; she saw her scrawny mess of a brother and decided she had to fix that).

and i think my favorite part that people don't talk about is... she would have done the same for marcille or laios if it were one of them that was eaten. you could see it in her eyes:

it's what shuro misunderstands about her. it's easy to see her feminine, cute, good girl pieces and forget the rest of her. but she loves things to an ends-of-the-earth extent; the kind of caring that makes you a little insane. and that's how I think she and laios end up on the same page with their weirdness. they have different interests, but they are the same level of committed to those interests.

it's easy to love her, because she probably loves you just as much, if not more.

EDIT: for the love of god stop reblogging this only to add some comment or tag or reply saying 'op you forgot [BLATANTLY FANON INTERPRETATION]'. falin as we know her is not a pushover/people pleaser/infantilized, see this version of my post. also stuff like 'female shuro was in love with laios in the genderbent comic' and 'falin was going to marry shuro because she felt bad' are just things you made up in your head

#idk i love her #dont take this as insulting i like when people do anything with her i just wanna vomit my feelings #dungeon meshi #another example of this is how she takes the dragon with her when she's resurrected #it isn't like her to leave that little thing behind #wriggling helplessly in the grass #she picked that little thing up and took it with her without a second thought

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oars · 9 months

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#i feel like tge fact im apprehensive about posting this is kinda proving my point #the way everyone talks about both weight gain and weight loss is just horrendous #like idek if i could fit all i wanna say in here especially while im at work but #i so badly wish people could be normal about weight gain and talking about it #its like if youre not in some constant state of wanting to lose weight people want to kill you #god forbid you want to put on weight to feel more comfortable in your body outside of muscles and a butt #fatphobia is a given thats a whole other few paragraphs #im grateful i have mutuals and friends who are normal but ill have or hear these convos and go #ok i feel sick. why do i feel this way why do you feel that way.#anyways i think fatphobia is one of the worst things to ever happen

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inlovewithaspiderguy · 4 months

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mmm.

#i mean I knew it #emo brainrot #mcr #re: last post #i just wanna not feel like this #headfirst for halos #bullets #tired #kms mention

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ronanlynchbf · 10 months

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tshirt that says NO LIVE ORGANISM CAN CONTINUE FOR LONG TO EXIST SANELY UNDER CONDITIONS OF ABSOLUTE REALITY

#i literally JUST finished hill house a few days ago and i already want to reread. Badly. it's sooo so so soo sooooooooo good <33333!!!!!#also completely enamored by shirley jackson's writing style i NEED to read everything she has written ever like right now..#opening lines of ALL TIME btw 👆❗❗❗#r.txt #the haunting of hill house #ALSO i've seen commentary videos on the tv show they made of hill house but from what i remember of it it's SO different from the book???#i think they were all siblings in the show which is??????? like why would you change that part?? i love sibling relationships as much as the #next guy but i feel like the fact that none of them knew each other was such an essential part of the story like why would u change it....#also eleanor was like. an entirely different character who was also already dead in the show i believe??? and dr. montague doesn't exist??#hill house could've been really good as a show idk why they changed it up like that...like was the original story not interesting enough for #you or something?? WHO decided to make that change i just wanna talk 🤨

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devilfruitdyke · 1 year

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we need to destroy the idea that girls should wear makeup. normalize bare faces on prom queens and flower girls and cheerleaders. no products at all instead of '7 product simple makeup routine.' no more 10 step skincare and regular facials and dermablading and gua sha just to be comfortable with yr natural face. i want to see eye bags on the funny librarian and acne on the swim coach and wrinkles on all our adult role models. i want to see a 16 year old girl that has never tried putting on eyeshadow. i want to see a 7 year old girl who doesn't have to go out and buy powder for her dance recital. i want to see trans women and girls everywhere to never have to wear makeup, regardless of how well they 'pass.' no more 'contouring to look masc' either. a post-beauty industry world is possible

reblogs are on but if you bring up the stage makeup point that i have addressed three times yr blocked on sight ☹️

#this is me warding myself against the b arbie m ovie shitstorm. </3 #too many teenage girls have had 'bimbo feminist' thrust upon them by the attention economy + consumer-feminist culture #its ok to just be fucking lame. like you can still be fem/me and stuff while doing it #there is a world where you can feel comfortable in yrself even if you arent Aesthetic #the makeup industry is trying to hinder this tho #plus i saw that post thats like. 'the reason we see a lot of casual pseudo-gender-essentialist and choice feminism rhetoric...#... is because we have fewer posts now that have basic feminist messages'#that resonated so i am the change i want to see in the world #i wanna try and make a r iot g rrrl masterpost for anyone getting into that side of things later so lmk if you want to see it

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placesyoucallhome · 7 months

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Size/Height difference poses

I love height differences aesthetically, but posing them can sometimes be a pain! So to cater to those that also struggle with posing smols and tols, I have a few options-

Meant for art of any type and ask memes, for drawing, writing, photography (like gpose!), ect. Gender nonspecific and for any sort of relationship type, romantic, platonic, and antagonistic!

#art meme #pose meme #height difference #drawing meme #ask meme #this is less about sending me things and more i wanna see other people use it #i have things i need to draw you people need to reblog so i can send things #idk why people don't use pose memes for gpose its not just about drawing #also i wanted obvious options for the smol being something other than soft uwu delicate sort #let smols be gremlins #i just need to feel like ive done something because i currently feel like a useless pos

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anotherpapercut · 2 years

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just had an absolutely sickening conversation with a 20 year old I work with wherein I had to impress upon her that her and her friends need to be extremely cautious going to the gay clubs right now with increasing attacks happening. make sure any very young, very newly adult queer people in your life know that we're a family and community and part of that is being willing to fight for your siblings lives if they're under attack. even if it's a person you despise, you stick up for your family and they will stick up for you. we are all we have. the cops refuse to help, and so do most people outside the community. we cannot survive without each other

#go in groups! leave before closing! bring something that can be thrown at someone! park close!#heart breaking #i dont wanna talk to the 18 year olds coming for the first time excited to have fun about how they have to be on guard at all times #i want kids who are just blossoming into the adults theyre going to be to have a safe place to feel loved and nurtured #im only 23 for christs sake #why am I having to talk to a 20 year old like im their 60 year old grandparent #i just want to feel safe with my community in what is essentially the family home

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its-the-ratdawg · 5 months

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Hannibal fans who don't believe in hannigram are so funny to me. bc dude. if they're not in love. what the fuck was all that (the entire show) even about???

#like theres.. realy no other explanation #for everything that happened in that show #like if you really truly believe they do not have any sort of feelings for each other i just wanna talk #lkke realy i just wanna hear your perspective #will graham #hannibal lecter #hannigram #nbc hannibal

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rahabq · 2 months

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