#i just wish i could go somewhere else | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

magicstormfrostfire · 7 months

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#sometimes i feel so torn #its no longer a safe place #but i have nowhere else to be #i just kind of wish i could fade away into something else #somewhere else #like friendships naturally do #but i dont have a space where i can.#it feels so strange #like time wasted #but i know that things dont revolve around me and people have their own lives and troubles #im not mad at that #i could never be mad #i just wish i could go somewhere else #start over #break old ties #start new ones #but right now im just fading in and out. waiting.

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spector · 3 months

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Came home from a long walk with groceries and like. Brother I think I got more walkies in me. But I think I’m gonna force myself to use that energy to scrub the entirety of my bathroom…

#i genuinely was like aughhh I wish I had a longer walkkkk but then I had no idea where to go plus the groceries … the ‘ceries….#even now I’m like I could unpack and just go grab another coffee from somewhere else but maybe I’m gonna try being productive …#ive been meaning to deep clean my bathroom for weeks now

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eggwishing · 5 months

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our couch was moldy anyways

#mindy firefly #august #somewhere out there. like when you look at a photo of our earth you're in there somewhere #ocs #drawin this while kinda bored. which is smn i dont usually do ...#i feel liek i always gotta be inspired when i draw or else it'll come out looking awful #but. this turned out alright!!!#can't listen 2 that dismissive voice in my head #draw draw draw!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#wish i could lore dump about mindy and august oouuuh #but gotta do more than that 2 make other people care about em #i need 2 capture the emotion their characters #anyways #the couch represents their relationship. it got all moldy from being where it shouldn't #they kept it outside bc they couldn't fit past the doorway of her house #and got weathered n yucky over time from being all exposed 2 tha elements and shit #basically begging to be thrown out bruh Skull emoji #she loves him but she's about to go hunt him down and kick his ass for being a huge wad #i think after this the sidh just spits the couch back up at her #all gross and burned and stuff but still in one piece #she gets really frustrated that she can't throw it out and just stews in a quiet rage for a few days #decides to just tie it to her house and set sail #maybe she even tries to patch it up piece by piece #or get it inside somehow later on. maybe she removes the doorway or something

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fuitygummy · 4 months

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#genshin memes #stole this from insta #which means it’s probably stolen from somewhere else #oh ms furina we’re so in it right now :’)#personal fuity shit #but yea I don’t think I can keep going anymore #I want to kms it’s that bad #college is destroying me #social anxiety and the resultant loneliness is hitting me with hammers #wish I could just walk into the sea and disappear misteriosly forever

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stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage · 3 months

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Me, when Sebastian joins my party for the first time: Okay, this time I'm not going to forget about you, Sebastian. I'm going to make an effort to use you a lot this playthrough so I can better understand you.

Also me, immediately forgetting about Sebastian while finishing Act 2 and making it halfway through Act 3 before I finally notice his Faith quest: ......................Oh. Right. My bad.

#da2 #dragon age 2 #sebastian vael #listen in my defense..........i don't like bringing sebastian anywhere sksksks #okay look i seriously tried but every time i bring him somewhere i always think man i wish i had brought someone else #and also i do just forget about him! i finally added him to my party at one point and he had 24 points to spend...#that's how long i neglected him after i promised myself i was gonna use him more and then i didn't #it's not that i don't like sebastian as a character though i do tend to side eye him A LOT... it's just that i like everyone else more #even aveline like i'd take aveline over sebastian any day and that's saying something... or is it? i have a lot of feelings about aveline #whereas my feelings about sebastian could maybe fill a thimble...it doesn't help that in my canon run as a mage hawke #i romance anders and well... sebastian wants me to kill anders and my hawke is like 'do i approve of blowing up the chantry? complicated.'#'am i breaking up with anders for this? absolutely. do i still love him? mmhmmm. am i going to kill him sebby? i'd sooner set varric aflame #then sebastian threatens to bring an army to kirkwall and leaves so i can't say i have the greatest opinion on him #even the time where i did kill anders and he stayed in my party he was just... there #and then he glitched out and started t posing while asking if ed ever found out what anders wanted to do in the chantry so..... yeah #but even this playthrough where i'm playing as a lady warrior with a different personality and everything... i'd just rather use anyone els #also keep him away from bethany i do not approve sksksks she's too good for him #i want to understand and see the different angles of him like with the other companions but i've yet to convince myself to do it #also sebastian romancers out there can you like... explain? genuinely can you explain the appeal? i'm curious #because of all the love interests in da2 i look at sebastian and you'd think i'd maybe be more interested? but it's like...#i know about the chaste marriage and everything like that's fine i don't need sex to be a thing in the relationship but it feels less like #an asexual romance and more like... y'know... being with a priest and i guess that's just not one of my kinks? sksksks #i guess there's also the prince angle but i romanced alistair in dao and kept him a grey warden i don't really care about royalty power #and i don't have issues with him being a part of the chantry [well i do but yknow what i mean] since i romanced cullen in dai #and his whole deal with the chantry and magic and shit makes his romance interesting to me but sebastian is just.... a bit too much i think #i don't know i'd like to understand because i really don't but i also keep forgetting about him

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ceaselesswatchersspecialboy · 5 days

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I can honestly understand Jon’s frustration at the start of s1 very deeply as someone who volunteered/worked at my school library for like half a year, and we hadn’t actually had a Librarian for a few years, so everything was fucking everywhere and me and the new Librarian were drowning in a sea of misplaced books, and one time I spent hours organising the Non-Fiction section, only to come back the next day and find that the year 7s had moved EVERYTHING around.

I also kept finding Ws in the A section, and we hadn’t even gotten into sorting these books by genre there was that much disorganisation!

I suddenly got hit by the memory and all my rage came back to me… the horror. On the bright side I learned how to index things correctly and that was wonderful for my autistic little heart.

But oh my god. Why did we not have a librarian for years. That was years worth of mess and only me and the librarian were around to manage it.

Gertrude I love you but personally I would want you DEAD for leaving the Archives unorganised. I know she did it for good reason but I’d honest to gods resurrect her and kill her again if she did that to me. It would be personal.

#pip posting #I do wish I was there again…. better than college . please just let me organise things all day #BUT GOD SERIOUSLY WHO LEFT IT IN THAT LEVEL OF DISARRAY #WHO #WHY #OH ANDDONT GET ME STARTED ON THE BOOK RETURNS #we had a little box where you’d put books you were returning so we could put them back in the right place #but sometimes the box and the very clear sign would go ignored and I’d just find books I’d definitely organised SOMEWHERE ELSE!!#BECAUSE SURE!!!#ahem #pray for your local book store workers and librarians guys #they go through so much ….

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ottiliere · 1 year

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I love crawling out of the depths, opening up tumblr, and seeing your art. I love it.

it is quite interesting how social media can fall to the wayside, and people on the internet can just disappear forever if they really wanted to! I admit I struggle to keep up with "public accounts", they are uniquely stressful and I solute your hibernating tenacity. always lovely to see you resurface regardless, thank you very much for the lovely compliment...

I will say in case any of my dear followers were wondering where i've gone for the past month and a half, for weeks i've been pondering how to even broach the enormity of the topic that is: I made the mistake of thinking about my most favorite character for more than 2 minutes in one sitting. I intentionally go out of my way to avoid this and have many strategies to evade this occurring because every time I do enter a sort of hermetically sealed mental chamber where it's just me and him and his life and I begin to ignore all points of previously established social contact and also my health indefinitely. It's difficult to convey the emotional experience of this or its psychic magnitude. and it's hard to say "guys i really love this character!" because that's just words. you can't see it. the 10 years of obsessively thinking about some guy so intensely on&off cyclically until you've made 20 different worlds he's living in... how does one convey the depth of these without artistically depicting them as you see them to be...? i am trying to figure it out. currently planning a longform comic for my favorite and several smaller comics for others, but logically an individual can understand this takes a while... he and I have had multiple rendezvous over the past decade and I wish I had more "historical" art to show but for many of these years I have been a bit too physically disabled to draw, the past several weeks have been spent attempting to recreate his ideal form as he exists in my head. he is starting to come around!

I typed up three separate disquisitions last month to try and explain my feelings on him and none of them felt like the proper vessel to communicate this concept. which is likely for the best. the obvious answer is "just draw him". fine with this being the case, difficult when I have so many drawing ideas I'm now sitting on 100+ works in progress and they just keep accumulating since my brain generates these like an old laptop you leave in the corner of your room to mine bitcoin. in a way I'm content with this being a very "personal" experience thus far, shared with me and those in my inner social circle (really cannot emphasize to my readers enough how fandom can poison your constitution without self-checked moderation). however... I yearn to meet others who are as passionately involved with him as I am, because I think we could coalesce our ideas, and passion, into something beautiful...

^dio brando

#lucy art #might seem humorous to you that I get so emotional over dio brando every day that I get nauseated and sometimes cry. but tis my atlas #i could not tell you if jojo is actually good by the way outside of sbr which is the best part objectively #dio relapses occur ~once every 2 years and whenever they do i reread dio the invader thirty times and nothing else in the series #hes the only character ive ever bought merchandise for..I hated history until I met him now i can't read any kind of fiction but historical #sorry by the way to use your innocuous compliment as an excuse to talk about dio. wish it was not contrarian to my nature to just make #''posts'' publicly unprompted. i prefer to journal... i don't know how active I will be after this post even. will likely just go back to #sitting with him in a dark room until I finish any/all of the projects I've started #which is mildly unfortunate since I love to collaborate in the marketplace of ideas... my compatriots are out there somewhere #jojo is more popular than it was ''back in my day'' i don't know maybe some of you guys like it. asks always welcome lord knows #I've already pestered my friends with thousands of words about him already over this past month #sidenote: sasha askblog is not abandoned + never will be... it is a fun side project. like many things in life. much planned for him too

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newfeeling77 · 7 months

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why do men insist on spitting on the ground every 30 seconds theres 3 guys waiting for the bus w me just smoking n spitting everywhere. maybe you dont like cigarettes that much actually

#thats like #my number one pet peeve if u could even call it that bc i think its just basic human decency #not to spit everywhere like a drooling fucking animal #+ throwing butts on the ground n smoking in a group of strangers who wish u were dead fucking go somewhere else

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opens-up-4-nobody · 5 months

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...

#sometimes i find the degree to which i cannot concentrate very alarming #like bro i canno read. i have so much to do but i wanna sleep forever #i just have to get up and go somewhere else. normally id go transfer algae or run but im stuck inside and .y fingers r all cold #usually its just in the morning that I get thr high distress so its prob the meds #but yesterday was kinda fucked. ugh.i just need to run around but i cant #i have such a sinister combo of: brain stops me from being able to b productive and if im not productive i am compelled to do horrible #things. mood issues and 0cd is horrible. horrible feedback loop #i just wish i could breathe. itll b fine. eventually itll b summer again and itll b fine #its like someone's squeezing my throat. like im sick but i kno its just that im anxious #i was doing so well the past few days in terms of reading and productivity despite the distress #and im trying to b kind and roll with the punches but its so hard #like i kno i need to relax and not resist bc resistance makes it worse but it's just hard and im worried this is how itll always b #i wish i could go back on lamicta1. i felt way better on low dose of that then i do on low dose of abi1ify. its so hard to stay on this #just bc of how my head works. and like things were complicated with the lamicta1. maybe i wouldnt habe had a reaction if i didnt get a #tatto0 while upping the dose but now im marked as allergic so i prob wont b allowed to try any of thr anti convulsive type antidepressants #ugh. i hate this. its so frustrating #unrelated

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potential-fate · 5 months

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why would I want to focus on work when I can instead look through my old pleasantview story and see what I can turn into short fanfic oneshots on AO3?

#my posts #I wish I was kidding but I simply cannot focus today. >_>#the oneshot thing is just something I recently thought to do because I'm honestly never going to do anything else with it at this point #like for fucks sake it's been... what 4 years? since I touched it? at least????#I have like #all these random scenes that no one has even seen based on it #or based on headcanons and shit #and a few older scenes reworked anyways.#so my brain said “well you could polish them up and post them somewhere they don't need to be in order?”#and here we are #potentially pleasantview

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labgrownmeat · 4 months

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agh i was on such a good roll with my injections for a while but these past few weeks i keep getting super anxious about it and it ends up hurting. really fucked it up today bc i flinched going in. idk why its been psyching me out so much recently

#i wish i could just go in somewhere once a week after work and have someone else do it lmao

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samuraisharkie · 1 year

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If you’re putting off loud ass firework tonight in the suburbs around other houses, let it be known I hate you. nearly kills my dog every year.

#first day of disability month is flooded with panic inducing noise. fuck America #could you losers drive out to open country that’s flat to let out fucking industrial level fireworks.#I don’t mean the small driveway ones or even just one or two smaller ones #I mean the ones that fucking send a shockwave through the whole house like a bomb is dropping.#nothing BUT those it sounds like a war zone out here #I hope you people set ur house on fire #killing birds bats and bugs and more #y’all aren’t even celebrating veterans like you think you are. every vet I’ve ever talked to or heard of HATES it.#putting people in danger to blow out ur eardrums setting off massive fireworks at close range.#y’all are fucking annoying #I wish there was like. etiquette for fireworks this time of year.#where you could put a sign out like ‘this neighborhood as a very anxious senior dog’ or ‘this house is sensitive to loud noises’#’this house as someone w PTSD’ etc. but no everyone is supposed to get over it and shut the fuck up #and if we don’t like it we’re joyless funkillers #and if the sign is out then you have to find somewhere else away from that house to set off your fireworks.#and if you can’t find a spot without signs then you fucking get over it and have ur burger without ear shattering noise #or you know. go watch PROFESSIONALS set off fireworks instead of risking yourselves your neighbors and everything around you #I’m sorry if ur 4th of July is ruined bc you could set off industrial professional level fireworks then you genuinely need psychiatric help #if you set off a few. this isn’t about you. if you’re putting on a fucking show stopping finale this in fact is #every Fourth of July is a borderline extinction event for wildlife too. animals can die just from the sound.#they DO die. there’s a massive amount of dead animals found every year after nationwide firework events like this #y’all are killing the wildlife and then scratching ur dumbass heads going ‘huh I wonder where the fireflies went’#you know what’s prettier than polluting the air with pyrotechnics? fireflies! where are they? you killed them!#i LIKE fireworks too. I just don’t like them in my neighborhood by my novice neighbors surrounding me on all sides.#not every single house needs to set off fireworks. fucking stop it

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skrunksthatwunk · 2 months

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found out that rascal's owner took him again while i was out, and he's probably not gonna be back since the semester's almost over. i don't even know if his owner's coming back next semester, if i'll ever see him again. if he'll ever see me again. why do they wait until im not around to do this? why do they never let me say goodbye to him?

#i didnt really get to process it bc i found out when i was hanging w a friend but. im processing it now #sigh.. i dont know. i dont know.#at the end of the day he is and has always been someone else's cat. i can't control what she does with him #no matter what i think of it. she can always take him away. but every time it happens im just. im tired yknow?#it's worth it to me to have him around. i love him dearly and i want him to be in a home where he's actually cared for (which i have done my #best to provide) but he's just. not mine. and every time it happens i back up and think man. im such a sucker.#i don't think people manipulate me often. not in an ongoing way i mean. i don't think ppl see me as valuable enough to most of the time.#but damn. she really found my weak spots didn't she. free petcare courtesy of one chump who can't live without animals around. sigh #he deserves stability but he deserves love more. this weird shared custody thing is better for him i think. and frankly i also love him.#im not the priority here but my feelings are like. there. him being taken away without even telling me first hurts. i'd like to be able to #say goodbye to him. im not saying he has to stay or this has to go on but couldn't they just.. consider my feelings a bit more?#just bc you're fine with dropping your cat off somewhere for weeks not knowing when you'll see him again and not visiting doesn't mean i am #and i kind of feel like my roommate is part of this. after all it's not like his owner can just break into our room and take him #and if im always out when they do it there's a chance roomie's just shipping him off whenever she gets sick of him.#she's done it before. even after she agreed so vehemently with me about never wanting him to go back to such treatment and stuff early on.#she's been spraying him for little reason lately too. and i mean i get being a little more cautious with some things bc her neck's broken #but she's really fixated on how much he smells and bites and stuff and talks about how if i wasn't around she'd consider eating him #and then other times she's like that's my pookie. i don't get it. like yeah i tell rascal to fuck off sometimes bc he hurts me but it's not #like a hateful thing. i dont resent him for it i'm just annoyed sometimes bc he's maiming me a little. he's my baby. how could i loathe him?#so it makes me think that roomie might be blaming his transfers on his owner bc she doesn't want me to judge her #and like. this is her room too. it's not her fault she's more bothered by the smell than me. if she doesn't want to be bitten and clawed all #the time i can sympathize. i don't wanna force her to house him. but i wish she'd just be honest with me i guess #like. what if his owner decides to give him away without telling me? i'd take him in in a heartbeat. even though i know it's a bad idea.#but i'm worried he'll fall out of my reach completely. and at the very least I'd like to be able to say goodbye first. that's all.

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fingertipsmp3 · 2 months

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Also I can’t figure out if my life genuinely does suck or I’m just having an existential crisis because my period starts in approximately 48 hours

#it does make me worse ngl. i wish i could just yeet my uterus #i was just starting to think about how all my days are the same and it’s boring and i’m boring #and i never see anybody or meet new people or make new friends #working from home is all well and good until it makes you want to [redacted]#and you all can say ‘just leave your house!’ as much as you want but living in a small town and having no car is not really conducive #to getting myself out there #i mean my town literally has about a dozen businesses and half of them are sad pubs. the others are like hair salon; co-op; church; butcher #2 takeaways. and yeah there’s parks but all of them are kind of dire #maybe i could start getting the bus places. going somewhere else. idk #i have been thinking about taking a trip but wherever i go i still take myself and it’s like i’m in this state of permanent malaise #too nervous to talk to anyone and too impatient to linger anywhere or enjoy anything #everything i do i rush through so i can do something else #and i think amongst it all i’m just reckoning with the fact that i’m never going to be remarkable. i mean neither is anyone else really #but i always thought i’d write a novel or become a college professor or something but i’m not smart enough and i don’t have enough words #or ideas in me. not really. i’m not a creative i’m just an imitator. always have been #and i could live with being unremarkable because we all are in the cosmic universe but i still don’t think i can live with rotting #in my hometown. but then it’s like how do i get out?#i signed up for an online course just to vary things a bit. just to get some enrichment in my enclosure #it’s this slow realisation that i thought i Wanted to work at home. i thought i liked the peace of it. just me and the computer screen #but no i like to work outside and then come back to my home as my sanctuary. i have to leave it sometimes to really appreciate it #but no one wants to hire me for an intellectual job because i’m not actually that smart. and my body is too broken to work in hospitality #anymore. or is it. i mean for god’s sake i can run three times a week but i don’t trust myself to be able to stand for hours #i’m thinking about throwing myself on the mercy of my old boss like hey. i fucked up. do you have any shifts for me? i’ll do weekends #i just don’t want to lose my fucking mind #maybe i’ll text her tomorrow. the worst thing she can say is no #personal

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belladonnafleur · 3 months

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I hate people with dreams because I wish I could give up mine !!

#this isnt' meant to be a deep post im just screaming into the void #im back in the city and there is just this deep sense of dread and I wish I could call my friends and talk abt it but everyone who would #understand is too busy #I have one fren who I think mite but shes busy #I have one midterm this week and im still scared of my prof even tho ik she means well and I rightfully pissed her off last last week #I want to leave the committee I work for completely #I want to leave this school completely!!#aaaaaaaaaaa #I want to go grad school #I also just look online and I wish I went to a diff school than this one #bc my family does NOT have the money for this school if Id just waited and gone somewhere else I would not be in this much DEBT #ik i was in a tough situation a few yrs ago and HAD to just pick a school + get out #but still #I think just. if my life events hadn't been so shit and bad #if I hadn't been in such a Bad place during and after the pandemic id be at a diff school #one that didn't make me feel so BAD and one that didn't put me in so much debt #some of why im pissed off and anxious is lit my fault #I burned some bridges and hurt ppl and pissed them off!!#but yn when u make a mistake and everyone around u will def define u by it #bc me rn #I just need to leave and not come back #or if I do not come back for a long time #I wish I could pack my shit and do the rest of the sem online #the only thing I'd miss is choir bc I love it #all of my friends (most of) are in choirrrr #its the way choir is the only thing that makes me feel good I hATE everything else

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hotlinepanda · 6 months

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It’s hard to let go man

#I’m doomed to live an eternal cycle I think #i want to be saved from it because right now I’m powerless #no matter what all my friendships and relationships are doomed #it’s hopeless and there’s no end #help me please #somebody #why have I been cursed with this body and this stupid mental illness #why can’t I be normal why can’t I be happy #why am I doomed to forever feel pain #why am I doomed to be unhappy #I wish I could control my feelings I wish I could open up to people but I’m so scared #useless and worthless #Selfish #why can’t I let go #why can’t I let go and just be normal #why do I cling on even if I will get hurt #I Just want out of here I don’t want to live in this world anymore I just want to be somewhere else forever with nobody around #somebody please help me

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