#i just wish my brain and body wasn't that much of a road block

[cabi-leodrann]

I, lowkey, wanna try to make lil' comics about Cult of the Lamb. The thing is, I always start making comics, but never finish them (except for 2 that were like, one shots). And, I don't know, kinda scared of making the first step for, probably, stupid reasons.

Imma try to sleep on it, it is 4am here, after all. Making the post in hope of not forgetting.

Good night people

[angelsanarchy]

Glass Houses: Jack Thurlow x Y/N Series CH 18 -> CH 19

Tagging:@roryculkinluvr@thatsthewrongwallcraig@icarus-star@cc-luvr@madamemaximoff06@shady-the-simp@quicksilversg1rl@s-0lar@kristennero-wallacewellsver@ophelialaufey@mayathepsychic1999@x-prettyboy-x@rorylover71@auggiethecreator

TW: Mentions of molestation, SA, pedophilia

Jack couldn't shake the feeling he had when he got home. It wasn't a bad feeling but more of a curious feeling. Had his parents really talked about him the way Mrs. Fletcher had described? I wasn't like he kept in touch with them like that. He would call for holidays but he rarely visited. He never really felt like going back made much sense because of how independent they seemed. Once he left, it was like they had just started living again. He walked out of the kitchen with a mug of tea that Dr. Carty recommended to calm his nerves at night and sat it next to the piano.

He sat down on the bench and grazed his fingers over the keys, not applying enough pressure for sound. He remembered what it felt like hearing his father play the keys while his mother played her violin in the early evening hours during the weekends. It was hard to think about his childhood now that he knew the truth about his brother and what happened to him. It was hard to think about the things he had blocked out from being a kid that his father only brought to light in his own death.

His fingers started playing the keys without thinking and he almost felt hypnotized by the sound.

"Pick up your tempo Jack. You know this song isn't meant to sound depressing." His mother's voice crept into his head making his fingers stumble. He shook his head trying to clear her from his consciousness. She was the last one he wanted poking around in his brain. The more he played, the better it sounded. He didn't hear the door open but when the floorboard creaked, he looked over to see Y/n standing in the living room behind him.

"Sorry it was so pretty, I didn't want to interrupt." Y/n explained.

"It's fine." He gave her a soft smile and waved her closer. She sat down next to him on the bench and watched him continue to play.

"I just wanted to thank you for coming by and talking to my mom. You were all she could talk about until she went to sleep." Y/n smiled at him.

"Hopefully that's a good thing." Jack smirked.

"Oh it's a nice change from her trying to set me up with literally anyone that comes to the front door." Jack couldn't help but laugh at the thought of the very homosexual mailman being pressured to ask out Y/n by her well-meaning mother.

"I just hope she didn't say anything to upset you. I know we really haven't talked much about your parents but she did mention it was an accident." Y/n didn't give her condolences but she did put her hand on his leg which gave him comfort.

"Y-yeah. They were going on some sort of trip. They did that a lot. The accident report says something must have run out in the road to cause the wreck. I was pretty close with my dad, not so much my mom." Jack explained and watched Y/n's hand rub comforting circles into his leg.

"I kind of had a mental break when I came home last year to deal with it all. They said it was a fit of hysteria. Seeing hallucinations of my dead mother, I thought maybe she was the reason for all of the bad shit in my life and tried to murder her ghost. It was a real show." He tried to laugh it off and Y/n turned her body towards him. He let his hands fall to the tops of his jeans and she stroked his hand carefully.

"Apparently my father had a lot of demons he didn't feel like he wanted to share with me until after his death. Also explained a lot of my mother's resentment towards me too. A part of me wishes I never found any of it but I guess if I was going to find out I was molested by a neighbor and his brood of pedo friends, he didn't want to be the one to have to sit with me in therapy." Jack had never verbalized anything about his sexual assaults to anyone. Dr. Carty could barely get him to acknowledge that it was real when they first started doing sessions together but it made the local news so there was facts backing up what he tried to chalk up to delusions.

Jack waited for Y/n to stumble over herself apologizing or to pull away from him in disgust but she didn't. She couldn't to stroke his hand until he glanced over towards her, trying to meet her eyes.

"Linda is actually my adoptive mom. She was my case worker before she adopted me but my birth father would molest me until I was about nine. One of my babysitters actually called the police when she noticed all the bruising in places no child should have any. I got super lucky with her. She treated me like I was her own, never pushed or prodded when it came to treatment. I even still attend a lot of those sexual assault survivor groups." Y/n opened up to him and he hadn't noticed he had flipped his hand over to hold her hand while she spoke about her childhood trauma.

"I had no idea about that shit happening until I came back here. I still can't really remember it." Jack squinted like he was searching his brain.

"Sometimes its better not to search too hard for those memories. Our brains tries to protect us from shit we don't need to drag to the surface because it didn't make us who we are." Y/n gave his hand a squeeze and he finally met her gaze.

"And if you decide you want to try to figure it out, you aren't alone." Jack couldn't understand how freely she spoke about things that were so life altering with him. They've only been friends a few months and he barely wanted to talk to Shanda about it when he found out.

"How are you so...open about all this shit? I mean your mental health shit and your trauma? I'm still in the stage where I feel like a piece of shit psychopath every other day." Jack felt her grip tighten on his hand.

"There is freedom in knowing that bad shit has happened to you but it's not you. I wasn't always this well adjusted." She added with a laugh bringing his hand to her mouth and kissing the top of it.

"You're smart, Jack. You're capable of being free from the the things that happened to you. We all have bad shit but how we move through life is up to you." Y/n tucked his hair behind his ear and he leaned into her hand.

"Have I told you that you're probably the best thing I've discovered since coming back home?" Jack smile softly and Y/n rubbed his cheek.

"No but a girl doesn't hate compliments." She returned the smile. She didn't stay too much longer after their conversation because she said she had to work but Jack didn't feel overwhelmed when she left.

Typically when talking about the wounds in his life he felt like he would instantly retreat within himself and need to call Dr. Carty but not tonight.

Tonight, all he wanted to think about was the next time he would get to see Y/n. Talk to her. Be in her presence. Touch her. He just wanted something in his life that made him feel good and she was quickly becoming that for him.

[skiyoosmi]

post-break up heartaches

verse 1. in the car that used to drive us to our home

⤷ kuroo tetsurou, oikawa tooru — more characters coming soon

⤷ verse 2 | verse 3

⤷ play. never let me go by ghostly kisses, forget about us by clinton kane

commissions: open

⇢ KUROO sighs for the umpteenth time of the day. he was so fucking exhausted and his body's about to give in to sleep any moment now. work has been beating his ass; there was this newbie who kept on messing up the documents needed by the board and for the whole day, he had to be the one to fix said issues. it's not like he wasn't paid enough for that; if anything, his paycheck was one of the most beautiful things he laid his eyes on— but god, even his body has its own limits and yet...

"ya.... yer not supposed to do this anymore. y-ya left me, remember?" you slurred, index finger pointing right at his chest as he circled his arms around your waist, huffing as you practically dropped all your weight on him. here he was, suddenly given the task of having to take you home after your supposed-to-be designated driver, miya fucking atsumu, also drank his brains out with you.

"be patient. still heartbroken because of you, y'know?" kenma softly tells him despite the tipsy feeling lurking in the back of his mind, shaking his head as he looked at you, whose system finally shut down and were now dozing off in the black haired man's arms.

"..... still?" he mumbles, looking down at your figure and he feels his heart contract with pain all over again.

"you can't expect her to be fine immediately, kuroo. it was your wedding day, supposed to be the greatest day of her life and yet it became the worst one... you left her at the altar alone."

he didn't reply anything— or rather, he was unable to. because what can he say to refute the truth? nothing. instead, he proceeded to his car with you still in his hold. he places you on the passenger seat, locking the seatbelts before jogging to the driver's side.

the car ride was calm as you slept soundly with your head occasionally hitting the window lightly as it swayed from side to side. he was sure as hell that if you were sober right now, you wouldn't even have the thought of seeing him cross your mind. he just knows for sure that you despise him with your whole being... at least, that's what he thought until...

"i'm sorry, tetsu. please come back," you whimper in your seat, voice quiet but he heard it nonetheless, "tell me what i did wrong so i can fix it."

the pitiful sounds and mumbles you made struck kuroo right in the heart and which makes him pull over an empty but safe road, just a block away from your (previously shared) apartment. looking over your form, he finds himself reaching out to touch your face, caressing your cheeks as drops of tears fell down slowly on them, "you didn't do anything wrong. you were fine. you were so perfect."

you squint your eyes at him, probably wondering if this was real or just a part of your drunken imagination. nonetheless, you hiccuped, "y-you... you left me and i... i still can't even bring myself to hate you... i just wanna ask you why? i just want to understand."

he thought he also knew the reason why but every single time he thinks about it, he's only led to one conclusion: because he was a coward. no way was this any of your fault— it's definitely not your fault that right at that moment, as he stared at the mirror, wearing the black suit you chose for him, the sudden fear of commitment loomed over him. it's not like it was your fault he suddenly got scared of losing you the way his parents lost each other. but now he thinks it's ironic, because he lost you anyway.

maybe... just maybe, if he had just met you where you stood at the altar, instead of leaving you alone in it, maybe he would've been happier. maybe his days would've started more with a smile from you as you helped him fix his necktie before going to work. maybe, the working hours he spends in the shitty corporate world would've been more worth it if it meant he can come home to you at the end of the day. maybe... maybe he wouldn't have to be stuck with this lump in his throat as he wonders what could've been happening if he just chose to show up and vowed his life to you.

but he didn't.

"i realized i wasn't just ready to tie my life with anyone yet. that's all there is to it, yn."

so with a heavy feeling stuck in his chest and a quiet promise to never see you again for the sake of not hurting you further, he starts the car's engine again, ignoring the words you replied but he was sure they will haunt him for a very long time... again.

i can wait for you no matter how long it takes, tetsu, you know that.

⇢ OIKAWA gives you what seems like a guilty smile as he stands in front of you, opening his arms and gesturing you to come closer. but the stoic expression on your face takes him back to the reality that the last thing you wanted to do today was to actually fetch him from the airport. it just so happens that his three best friends were caught up with work that they had no choice but to send you, the main ex-bestfriend slash ex-girlfriend, to him.

why did you agree when you practically loathe him with your whole being? well, it was probably because you weren't the devil who would reject your friends when they were literally on their knees as they begged you and for some reason, you thought he'll look pitiful going back to his home country after five years with no one to welcome him. yeah, that's it. it's not like you're still in love with him or anything.

"my car's just around the corner," you begrudgingly walk towards the car park with him quietly following. at the moment, he knew better than to get on your nerves or else there would be war. he hates that this happened to the both of you but he can't blame anyone else but himself. because who wouldn't hate their ex-boyfriend if they suddenly broke up with them over a phone call?

tension filled the car as you both sat beside each other. perhaps, this was what other people were talking about when they say that it's impossible for exes to be friends again, to not feel any awkwardness because you were sure as hell that the word "awkward" was an understatement of your situation right now. nevertheless, your eyes couldn't help but wander to his figure as he adjusted his body, opting for a more comfortable position in the passenger's seat.

he looked more youthful and you felt bittersweet— proud that his whole aura screams of "success" which meant that gone were the days where he longed to get that winter cup trophy, nor the times when he overworked himself and put a strain on his knee which led to countless arguments with you. if anything, he looked happier and it sucks because you're not even close to feeling that way... not without him.

"i heard you've finally gotten yourself your own condominium? that's great, yn!" he exclaimed as soon as you began driving to your destination, a hope lit within him that maybe you might just respond to him. just one smile, that's all i need, he thinks.

but you remain focused on your driving, choosing to reply with a single nod and a soft "yeah..."

disappointment fills his heart as he faces the truth that your relationship has really been ruined, along with your friendship. all because he was foolish to think that he couldn't handle the physical distance between you two. realization dawns upon him that he just made that same distance worse as you pull your heart further away from him.

"... i actually bought it for the two of us, you know?" he whips his head to your direction in surprise, heart clenching as he watch you let out a sad chuckle, "i just... i thought it would be nice if we had a place to permanently stay at and for you to have a home to go to when you're at japan. but yeah... i guess things doesn't go our way sometimes, does it?"

"i'm sor—"

"it's okay. i'm fine now," you quickly reply, shaking your head but keeping your eyes on the road. he tries to ignore the tears that start to form in them because he has no right to stop them, knowing full well that he was the one who caused them in the first place.

as if on cue, you halt your vehicle in front of a familiar apartment and much to your dismay, you find yourself looking back in the past when you used to live in that same place, making wonderful memories with the chocolate haired lad with you. you clear your throat to stop the sob that desperately attempts to escape your throat, "uhm... we're here."

"oh, yeah. we're here," he numbly states, already missing you despite the mere inches of space separating the two of you. you just felt so far away and he hates it. but this was the path he chose so he gets out of your car along with his things, turning to you once more, "uhh... thanks for the ride, yn. i know you probably hate me but yeah... it's very nice of you to put that past us and i guess i just want to say sorry for hurting you... i just..."

"i don't hate you, tooru," you softly tell him, "i just don't want anything to do with you anymore. to see you this happy, without me, is like a slap in the face because i'm not. it still hurts and i'm not fine. i just hope this will be the last time we'll see each other. be safe on your trip back to argentina. welcome home."

and with that, you start the car's engine again, no longer having the energy nor the strength to hear his reply. but he wishes you did because as he watches your car drive further away from him, he can't help but wish that he can take back time so that you don't have to go to that condominium and instead, go inside the home you once shared with him.

but i'm not happy, yn. because how could i call this place my home when you're not here with me?

at that moment, unbeknownst to the two hearts that long for each other break at the same time, you finally let out the tears and cries that you've been keeping since you saw him, knowing that no matter how much you try, you'll never be as happy as you were with him— simply because he left you with a hole in your heart that no one else can fill.

© SKIYOOSMI, 2021. reposting, translating, editing, copying and any kind of plagiarism are strictly prohibited, thank you.

[muffindaddystyles]

KISMETS.

Harry Styles x fem!reader.

Slow burn, platonic love and jealousy clićhes.

Fluff! Fluff! Fluff!

Frenemies and dad!harry.

Author's Note: The concept's kinda weird but if you've watched F.R.I.E.N.D.S and Phoebe Buffay carrying child for someone. You've got it my pal!

MASTERLIST LETS TALK! PART 2 PART 3 PART 4

"Can ya stop breathing like, THAT!?" She whisper yells twisting to give him a sharp glare full of spleen elbow poking at his side abs, "Like what!?" He half squeaks peering down at her with doe eyes palms flat at sides to convey his surprise.

"Like a train engine whistling -- it's annoying." She mutters rolling her eyes and turning back to listen to instructor.

"Now, I can't even breath without ye' comin' fo' me throat?" He grits with a kink of brows and when she confirms with a no --- He gasps dramatically. It's gonna be a long journey of Hell for them. Harry hates her hormones. Little bitches.

Or

Y/N is carrying a baby for Harry and his girlfriend ---  but something went downhill.

//

Twinkling droplets of crystal rain pelts against the bricked road subsiding harsh noises of surrounding but a nettled groan caught everyone's attention ‐‐‐ stares turning in direction. Have you ever wanted to just disappear under a warm invisible cloak and enjoy the drollery aspects of life without worrying? Because this is what Y/N wants at the moment as she stands under the bus stop shelter with few people beside her and the british showers starts pouring mocking at her for not carrying an umbrella with her.

Everyone leaves when the bus didn't arrive — who remains behind's Y/N huffing and pouting wishing for rain to stop. When it didn't she muttered a 'fuck it' before risking catching a cold and stepping under the pitter patter with her books atop her head for less damage.

Trying to punch in the passcode of society's gate with shivery fingers perhaps it opens before that startling her wet-y self. Similar car drives near her and a head pops in from inside with his big goofy smile and crinkles by his charming eyes, "Ni!" She exclaims pushing away the drippy hair sticking to her lips with her pinky.

"Pet you're gonna catch a cold. Want me to drop ya?" Niall kinda yells over the rain's loudness. She sighs fog whirling infront of her. Shoves her hand in her trench coat's pocket to seek for heat instead it's all icky and drenching.

"No it's just a tiny walk away. I'll manage — call me will tell ya how my class went." She waves him looking at him from her shoulder while rushing away towards the most elegant house in the block. Niall gives her a thumbs up from before getting out of sight and she tries to hop over the puddles of water to make it to doorsteps.

The water she brings from outside pooling at the dark timber floor - it trails behind her past the pink door as she rushes jumpy-ly where the most hot's in the house and apparently it's more than she expected, "ouch. ouch my eyes!!" She screams covering them at the sight of Harry butt naked pinning his girlfriend against the wall near fire place. Her face turning into a tomato at the horrendous raid but she seems pissed and well . . displeased that Y/N ruined a mind boggling orgasm for her.

Before, they could disattach from eachother to unravel their humiliation Y/N jogged up to attic into the guest room slamming her forehead against the door to knock away the embarrassment. She always barges in Harry's house without announcing but sometimes she forgets he isn't alone everytime his girlfriend comes to live by every two weeks (it's his fault too that he never locks the main door as anytime anyone's coming at his place). Changes into clothes she forgets at her visits, tries to dry her hair with a towel that no-more smells like Harry but expensive fabric softeners and has a pep talk for a minute to show herself down infront of them.

Instinctive voices coming from the Kitchen and she pads towards it. They act like nothing happened. Like Harry wasn't dick deep into Chessie moments ago. Harry ushers her to barstool and hands her a cuppa tea moving on with a kiss to her head. It still gives her butterflies even though how many sense awakening scoldings she gave to herself at 3 ams.

"'M sorry." She squeaks with a wavering smile wrapping her palms around the mug. Harry cackles softly brushing the underbelly of his nose as Chessie cordinated the cutlery drawer, "'s okay moppet. we finished our business when ye' left." Y/N almost choked on her hot beverage gulping it down when Chessie shocked gasp throwing little socksies that were laying ontop of the counter at Harry. Are those of toddler? Adam's out of town so there's no way it could be his daughter's socks. Maybe Chessies's one of friend's?

"Should've called me t' pick y'up. Niall was loafin' around too —- wear it you're turnin' blue, pet." He comes back with a swarmy chunky knitted sweater Anne gifted him at his birthday handing it to Y/N and sitting opposite of her pulling Chessie with her wrist into his lap clearing his throat to bring Y/N's attention back from eyeing the socks on the floor. Her eyes flicker between them chest tightening at the love and glow that radiates from Harry when he looks at her.

No. She's not jealous. Mightyyyy bit yeah –- cause she could never be this lucky to have someone as Harry. He's the most caring towards her since ten years been her compass to the home she wanted, her anchor saving her from sinking and the sixth sense of a blind to her. In fact she thinks he's her soulmate and not every soulmates needs to be romantically involved some could watch them growing beautiful in love. Y/N's doing it. Admiring the maturity of his life with the person that truly makes him enough---or she thinks so.

"How was ye'r meditation class?" Harry asks (she took a semester off as she was unable to haul the burden'; Harry convinced her how her health should be her first priority) breaking a cookie in two giving half of it to Chessie who thanks him with a kiss in return, "Was good been feelin' great!" She chirps pulling the sleeves of the sweater that's drenched in cinnamon vanilla-y smell with lingers of what comes of as Chessie's scent. She assumes they cuddled shit loads.

To subside the gnaw in her brain down she finally asks the question pointing at the sock that nobody gave a heed to pick up, they stop chewing looking at eachother to come up with something. Chessie's face distressed knowing Harry wouldn't hide it from Y/N. He tells her everything and sometimes it could be too personal to share.

"Erm. . I bought 'em — 'cos. . " Harry stammers and Y/N smacks her hand atop her mouth avoiding from giving a shocked reaction, "Oh my goodness ye' guys are pregnant!?" It was enough to make Chessie flinch and hike down Harry's lap.

"No! 'S not what ye'r thinkin'." He shakes his head making Y/N confused. "Then you bought it fo' your fingers? Cause that's the only body part it could fit." She teases him to break through the insight tension around and he chuckles shaking his head grabbing Chessie's hand rubbing her knuckles how he used to when Y/N's anxious and over the edge.

"We want to have a family." His words low as he looks at Chessie but she shrugs in return as 'in it is what it is'. Y/N stomach twisted at that. The thought that one day He's gonna have a family of his own and the little bubble that Y/N would be privy to made her throat dry. Because she has no-one despite Harry and he deserves the whole world not just baby keeping Y/N everytime.

"So . .? What's the problem?" She raises her brows looking between them noticing Harry's fingers fiddle with the flower tea mats, "There are complications from Chessie's side." Chessie sighs in disappointment and Y/N ponders over the idea, clocks working and spindling wildly in her mind.

"I could do that for you guys — since I took a semester off --–" She puts the offer nervously and both of their jaws went slack Harry with an adoring grin while Chessie in hitting shock. "--Erm we could go through a traditional surrogacy."

"Are you sure?" Chessie asks squeezing her shoulder and Y/N nodded taking both of their hands, "Anything for ye' guys!" Harry's eyes glossing over and he leaves his spot sprawling his arms calling for her, "Gimme a hug pet. Life saver ye're - we're gonna take care of ye." They group hug tightly and excitedly.

Sometimes actions could speak much more than words because the lies that words hold could ruin the great bondages.

. . .

They went through the medical procedure two days after Her, Harry and Chessie being guided by their acquired doc. She was nervous and sweaty but Harry's presence beside her soothed out any negativity that was building inside her brain. By womb the babies would be Harry's and Y/N but legally Chessie's and Harry. She's just wishing that everything goes alright cause that happiness of them is million worthy to her.

People might call her stupid and brainless for going through sickness, crankiness, back pains and the pain during labour just to give those babies to someone else (she's too afraid to call them her's cause she knows her emotional attachments could be very destructive) but she loves Harry and love makes you do those thingies.

At the moment she's on the toilet seat eyes bolted shut counting threes with the pregnancy test in her wavering fingers. "Please it better work." A squeal of surprise leaves her lungs when her eyes fell over the two positive lines quickly dragging her panties over she tumbled outside where everyone's waiting for her.

"You guys are pregnant!!" Sounds dumb right? She announces loudly. Harry's and Chessie's heads perked up while everyone cheered beers spilling from the rims. She flashed grins to each one of them splitting her gaze away from Harry giving Chessie a celebratory kiss.

"Thank you. Oh my god, love! Can't belive it." Harry held her from shoulders giving her a toothy smile and it puts her off that Chessie didn't say anything just a nod along Harry. "Me too." She breathes out as he leads her to sofa sitting her cautiously. "We'll visit the doctor tommorrow." He reassures popping his head from Sarah's neck as she hugged him tight.

"We're gonna have a little Y/N and Harry running and pooping it's nappies soon." Everyone went silent. A grimace on Y/N and Chessie's face. Niall doesn't know when to shut up does he? Y/N's gonna strangle him alive. Harry laughed out aloud not caring about the thick tension in room, "I'll rip ye'r hair if you'll turn me baby into a golf freak Niall." His baby.

Niall raises his hands in defence, "No guarantees Harold."

. . .

They had a check-up and Y/N indeed's pregnant. Harry's over the moon. Kissing her forehead. Thanking her for millionth time – to the point she told him to let her watch telly in peace and shut up. Chessie bringing her organic vegan dishes that Y/N isn't a fan of but eats nevertheless under Harry's stern gaze. "'S not about them only I want ye' to be healthy too, pet. Can't be selfish now can I?" He'd insist.

When she'd be sick he'd be at her side giving her back rubs while Chessie stood at the doorframe of washroom. Y/N thinks since she's pregnant her womanly instincts has gotten more sharp as she sensed something's off between the pair.

He'd be at her flat early morning waking her up to have a morning walk with him not giving in her grunts and whines. Who'd want to leave their crispy warm bed to just be out in the cold? A fool like Harry only. Making her brekkie afterwards as a reward giggling and massaging her shoulders when she'd gobble down food like a greedy squirrel, "Easy there love. 'S all yours."

Chessie's back at LA. They had a small argument because Harry wants her to be participating in all of this as much as he's. But, her priorities are not set for this. They never were.

Y/N was at Harry's place nibbling onto chocolate cupcakes Anne sent specifically for her with a note ("my grandchild shouldn't be privy to their Nana's bakin' skills all my love to Y/N." along a winky smiley) when she spilled cold milk all over her nooked tee-shirt. Harry gave her his clothes to change into and baby wipes but she warded him with a scoff that water exists. She has become more feisty with each passing day.

Was discarding the tee when her gaze fell over the sveltest of bump in the mirror taking her breath away. It makes her realize it's all real. She never touches her belly in fear if she'd she will never stop. Now, when the pads of her fingers skim alongs the skin it strips shivers down her spine. She always wanted this. Not in this scenario though. Shaking her head of the thoughts she slips Harry's hoodie over it climbing down the stairs and it causes Harry to snap his head in alert. He stops chopping the carrots spinning to see Y/N standing feet away from him.

"My baby bump's showing." Her voice almost a whisper and it widens Harry's pupils as his hands fell in air midway between them hesitant to reach her, "Can I see?" She bobs her head shyly cheeks blazing red while revealing the bump for Harry to see. It's not like he hasn't seen her before. He has. But, this's more intimate than all of that. It made him fall on his knees. He's a sensitive person in general. Pure from heart but during this period it seems like he's pregnant not Y/N which's quite amusing too.

"She's beautiful." His gaze full of adoration. "She?" Y/N furrows her brow with a smile. He bobbed his head with a grin, "Think so our baby's gonna be she." Now that's the problem cause Y/N doesn't know which ours he's talking about.

"My pregnancy instincts says it's he." He scoffs, "Bet!?" She rolls her eyes forwarding her fist to do the hand shake they do while betting, "If you loose your pink macbook gonna be mine." They solid the deal with their traditional shake.

"Can I touch it?" Harry's asks politely. When she gives him permission he spreads his warm palms flat against her tummy tongue tied with the affection boozing in his veins for the baby that's not out in the world yet. Y/N eyes flutters and her fingers twitches by her sides from carding them into his hair. This's wrong she scolds herself. Her hormones all over the place.

"You wanna send a picture to Chessie?" At this his lips thinned and he gave her a curt nod standing up to fetch his phone, "Sure. But she might be busy..." on the verge of spitting his words in vile.

. . .

Y/N was reading a crime mystery book. Stroking the side of her baby bump carelessly. Cosy in her blanket hoodie telly murmuring in the distance. "Your dad's taste in books is shit, innit?" She peers down with a smile. It's the first time she's talking to them. "We'll read loads of good books together so that when you'll grow up – I could know what to gift you on Christmas." She tries to grab more popcorns from the bowl but it's empty. "Wanna be best aunt out there!!"

"Will you miss me? As much as I'll when we'll be separated?" Tears well up at her waterline. She huffs through her nose running her hand down her belly several times. It's coming; the breakdown she was toiling for days. "I know it sucks I cant be your mommy." Her cravings kicking in and all she want's a strawberry oreo icecream.

"Oh no. Seriously? I'm sad and ye' lil bean want an ice? Let's call your daddy and see what he got." She rings him and he picks up on the third one. Voice groggy from the sleep. She wants to feel bad but she isn't when all her taste buds could think of is strawberry flavour.

"'M cravin' strawberry ice-cream bad. . . Is it possible for ya to bring one?" He's already throwing duvets off his body reaching for his phone and wallet, "No worries pet I'll be there in tick."

"What the fuck Harry? It's three in the mornin'." Chessie groaned from beside him throwing pillow at her face. "We already stored her fridge with alot of food — " She squints about to change the side.

"She's carrying a baby for us Chess. Ye should know better since ya didn't wanted to." She sits up like bullet folding her arms against her chest.

"Thank you for throwing it at my face, H." He doesn't even spare her a glance walking outside and Chessie wants to scream at the top of her lungs. Why did she even agreed to this?

. . .

When he bought her ice-cream she throws herself in his arms kissing his cheek and he giggled in return feeling good when her bump pressed against him. They ate ice-cream with a bantering mess discussing names of the babies, the one that Chessie and Harry decided, him telling her about the little onesies they bought hearing that Y/N stood up taking out a little bag from the chests of drawers.

"I hope you wouldn't mind." She mutters showing him the lil knitted gloves and Harry slid his palm above her's wrapping them snugly, "I don't want ye' to think ya can't love on 'em 'cos after all it's ye'r womb they belong too." Her lip wobbles at his words and she stuffs her face against his chest fisting the hem. It fred away butterflies inside Harry. He sucka his lip. He shouldn't be acting like this. He has a girlfriend that he's gonna have a baby with. They're happy or atleast he thinks so.

They've been bestfriend for years and those feelings never drowned him. Is it because now she's having his babies? Maybe? Harry tries to convince himself.

When he looks down Y/N's drooling onto his shirt deep into slumber. He pecks her hair slipping his arms under her to hold her firmly against his chest. Laying her on the bed tucking her under blankets.

. . .

It sounds like multiple thuds as doctor hovered the ultrasound device over her gelled cover belly. Her belly growing way faster than it should. Her gaze glued at the ceiling fingers crossed. Harry and Chessie holding hands tight gazes fixed at the screen both of them confused at the disoriented image. They all were on the edge of their seats waiting for their turns. Y/N wished that someone could give her a huge warm hug to soothe her nerves down. But, in the first place she shouldn't be worried about the gender as it's none of concern but theirs. It's getting hard day by day.

"It's twins!" Doctor announces chirply getting a wave of silence in return. But, soon the room filled with happy giggles and gasps of Harry as he went to hug Chessie who's expressionless from shock. Y/N pouts wishing it was her. Smiling at doctor when she squeezed her hand in consolation. She's frightened though. How could she deliver two babies? To deal with the roughness that comes along them? Gonna be pretty hectic.

"We hit a jackpot, innit?" He grins down at her kissing Chessie's cheek last time before leaning down to hug her. "Gonna be super carin' with ye' now." Y/N gives a pat to his back in return awkwardly eyeing as Chessie left the room hastily.

. . .

It rakes against the wood harshly as Chessie glided keys of Harry's house towards him without a word. He puts the baby guide book aside arching his brow, "I can't do this anymore. I want an out." Dread. Seeping down Harry's bones.

Guarding himself down he grits, "What do ya mean you want an out? We agreed with full consent of yours Chessie." She shakes her head furiously.

"I didn't sign up for two of 'em Harry I could barely be there for one!!" He puts his elbows on his knees head lowering, "But you wanted to have a family with me didn't ye'?" His eyes tearing and she throws her head back in annoyance finding it difficult to make him understand.

"No. No – No. You wanted a family! Because of your continuous protests I gave in. Told you I wasn't ready for all of this bullshit now we are here." She emphasises. Harry stands up from his seat towering her pointing a finger at her.

He's rageous. Could burn this house down. How could she be so mean? Cowarding back at the last moment.

"Don't call it bullshit." He spits full of venom for the woman he mighty love and she snaps her head other way, "Congrats she finally ruined us and couldn't be more happy – now that she's having your mother fuckin' babies." He stumbles back knocking the coffee table lungs congesting.

"Don't drag her in all of this she's innocent." She laughs ironically looking him square in eyes yelling like a maniac, "Gave her your sperms now you can't hold back from fucking her. I knew it. You were fucking her behind my back weren't you?" She thinks of him like that? A cheater? He loved her and she always thought he was cheating her.

"Don't yell. I don't want to see ye'r cruel face when I come back home." He tries not to croak mustering strength to walk away from her. Exposing himslef to freezing weather locking himself in his car and crying his heart out. Sky crying along him. He punches the steering wheel brutally shouting "why's?" Head falling atlast as he thought of all his dreams shattering at his feet.

She caged him instead of giving him shelter. Replaced the butterflies he used to get from her with a burning hell in his pit, should've been mother of his children now she's just an ex.

The excruciating part is how he's gonna tell Y/N about this? She'll be crushed.

. . .

"Oh my god . . ." It was the roar of thunder that startled her but something else took her attention away. That tinsy kick protruding the taught skin of her belly, ". . . which one of you?" She was extra happy today. It's swimming in her head. It's just a thought but sharing it with Harry wouldn't kill someone. She wanna ask him if she could've one of the babies. It's just she's too much into the moment that she forgot she still have a degree to complete. A career to pursue and a life she always wanted.

When there's a knock at door she tries to stand up with the support of armrest a hand on her back. A gasp falling from her mouth at the sight of Harry's clothes soaked and another when he looks up with bloodshot eyes. Tears dried cheeks and heaving chest seeming utterly devastated.

"Pet what happened!?" She grabs him from elbow pulling him inside and he falls onto his knees smashing his cheeks against her showing tummy -- a sob recking through him, "Harry you're scarin' me. Tell me what happened is everything okay?"

"Chessie don't want these babies - sh-she didn't wanna ruin her career but atlast agreed . . . n-n now she doesn't want 'em 'n wants an out." He stutters. White noise deafening Y/N's ears and she steps back with expressions as if she's scared. Horrified of the future.

"It means she never had complications? She just didn't wanted her body to go through all of this." When Harry didn't fill in to her inquiry she flopped onto sofa from the shock shoving her face into her palms giving out a cry of hurt at her stupidity.

"God. I'm such an idiot!" He shakes his head crawling towards her with sad eyes and lil hiccups, "No please don'tcha say that. We'll figure it out yeah? Never wanted this t'happen." God. How bad he wants her to assure him that it'll be alright.

"You'll figure out what, huh!? Leaving them just like she did!?" Swear Harry felt a dagger jabbing it's way into his heart more upsetting tears spilling down his throat. "I hate you guys. They're none of your babies from now on. . ."

"Leave." She orders him wiping her tears roughly with the sleeve of her jumper. Running out of breath with each sniffle. Raises her hand stopping him to step forward and protest, "I said leave before I make you!!" He nods inhaling breath of remorse looking at the ceiling for a second then to her.

"Before, that want ya t'know. I still want 'em. They're mine. How could I not? love 'em. Hope ya'll forgive me." Then it's just sobs of Y/N taking over the buzz of telly as the door ticks. He didn't leave though. He's too afraid to. His back sliding against her door knees closing against his chest letting it all dawn upon him. His green luscious orbs hooding with sadness and the fluff of his curls.

Dunno if Y/N would be able to forgive him.

. . .

He woke up to a boot nudging to his thigh squinting up to find Niall stating down at him with consoling eyes. Poor Harry slept in the hallway. His neck sore and limbs stoned.

"Heard it 'lad. Was suspicious with Chessie long way." He helps Harry stand up patting his shoulders, "Y/N called ye'?" He grogs rubbing his eye with knuckles. When Niall confirms he quips with pleading eyes in a low whisper knowing he'll get his hair ripped if that furious little mama bunny will find him outside.

"Ye' think she'll forgive meh?" Niall chuckles to light up the situation, "'course H. Do ya think our pet's that ruthel—" He bites his tongue. Harry's gaze following the snap of his neck when the door opened revealing Y/N in a lilac chunky sweater. Puffy eyes and swollen lips. Harry feeling like a dickhead at her condition. It's all his fault. Then their eyes fall at the piping hot cuppa of tea in her hand.

With a stoic face she hands it to Harry and pulls Niall inside slamming the door at curly boy's face. So, she knew he was there sharing a door with her the whole night.

. . .

"Isn't it a good thing thou, love?" Niall smiles. He's chill in all of this. Watching it unwrap. They were meant for eachother Niall thinks so, "You wanted one of 'em and ended up havin' a whole bean can." She groans throwing her peach plushie at his chest. A smile swirming up her lips at his silly statement now that she's more stable less sad.

"You're the absolute worst, Ni!" He holds her cold hands tugging her close to make her look, "Want ya to forgive H. He did nothin' wrong, pet." When she pouts ruffling the silk strands of her rug with her feet he grabs her chin.

"Remember how happy he was? Don't go mad on him yeah?" She bobs her head not meeting his gaze. Meanwhile, there's knock at the door and Niall takes it laughing to himself softly at the box of doughnuts with a note.

"What is it?" He's already flopping beside her hooking his nimble finger around the white doughnut with rainbow sprinkles, "If I'd have known pregnant ladies gets treated this way. Would be havin' one baby every year." She smacks him in belly and unlatches the note reading it with a sucked lip.

Ye'r antenatal class's tommorrow. Don't forget to take ye vitamins :)

How gentle, calm and optimistic Harry could be needles her some.

. . .

Harry's waiting for her in the car fiddling with the radio. He isn't gonna lie. He's been going through a heartbreak. To cope with it he wants to accompany Y/N in her parent craft classes. When she waddles towards his car cosied up in a yellow baggy sweater and a cardigan Harry remembers she stole from him ages ago he mighty scrunched his nose in adoration at her cuteness.

Her nose pink and cheeks flushing as she slips into her seat, "Can you stop bringin' me stuff. I know how to take care of myself." She nips at him when he forwards her a kale smoothie. He doesn't seem to mind. Both, of them knows very well she's trying to avoid drinking it. She finds it yucky!

"Wanna take care of ya'll is all." He mumbles putting it in her side's cup holder. Ya'll .She regrets it instantly. Damn his puppy eyes!

. . .

"Mr. Styles and . . . Miss Y/N." The instructor calls them and they both raises their hand awkwardly as if in elementary school. "You're the parents of twin right?" She asks. Y/N wanted to say that their supposed to be parent ran off from the fear. But, she couldn't. Could never. It'll be like rubbing salt to his wounds. Bestfriends don't do that shit even in their most anger.

"Yes." She confirms. When Harry didn't. Scared if he might say something wrong. "Ok then! Lay your mats n' have a seat." Harry guides her with the little of his hand on her back. Her shoulder nudging his taut chest, and goosebumps pimples at her skin when his fingers brushes the side of her belly as he helps her sit down.

She takes an all rounder of the room and none of the parents looks like they're here to prepare for war unlike them. She shyly waves at the two mothers beside her and Harry twinges his lip equally flustered as her.

They start with relaxation and breathing exercises. Telling Y/N to let herself loose in Harry's arms. She fumbles with the hem of her sweater when his fingers gingerly winked at her sides and the lull of his breath hit her earlobe.

"Can ya stop breathing like, THAT!?" She whisper yells twisting to give him a sharp glare full of spleen elbow poking at his side abs, "Like what!?" He half squeaks peering down at her with doe eyes palms flat at sides to convey his surprise.

"Like a train engine whistling -- it's annoying." She mutters rolling her eyes and turning back to listen to instructor. "Now, I can't even breath without ye' comin' fo' me throat?" He grits with a kink of brows and when she confirms with a no --- He gasps dramatically. He hates her hormones little bitches.

It's gonna be a long journey of Hell for them.

. . .

"Are you hungry?" He asks turning the heat on knowing how cold her feet could get in the span of seconds. She huffs trying to buckle her belt and it squirms a fond smile out of him at her cute effort to be put in place due to her bump. If he'd coo. She'd rip him into tiny bits. It's better if he gazes away.

"Does it mean emptying your pocket?" She arches her brow sinking into her seat. "Bitso. . " He chuckles softly drumming at the steering wheel.

"Then I'd love to." She adds with a smirk. Clasping her hands atop her heart outta excitement. It makes him shake his poof of hickorey curls at her silliness.

They end up taking a takeout of onion loaded cheese burgers. Greasy fries. An iced-tea and a box of cookies from Babara's shop a block away from Harry's house.

"Wanna choose fo' ye'rself?" He asked her before going inside and she denied with a worried expression. Not knowing how she'll explain all of this to Babara who's her one of the good friends from UNI. Harry respects that. If she isn't ready to talk about it he isn't gonna pressurize her. They've been dodging the serious talk since she let him take to parental classes. Knows one day or another they've to decide how it's all gonna work.

. . .

Good food can make you more high than actual drugs. Licking their fingers off now they feel all sleepy and lazy sitting on the comfortable sofa watching telly with hooded eyes.

Harry's cheek smushed adorably against her baby bump ears tuned into what his babies are talking about.

"You know what? 'S not about winners or loosers. Bu' I won." She bubble hiccups slumping deeper with sugar rush hitting her. "Huh? Harry mumbles eyes drooping. The cotton balls of snowflakes glittering outside, collecting at the window and foging them up.

"I get to have babies of my bestfriend and this nice foodddd — 'n what did Chessie got? No babies and no happy feeling of being their mother." Harry shots up from his snooze blinking up at her and she quickly takes it back regret eating her alive, "'m sorry it slipped."

"No!!" He almost shouts cupping her cheeks making her look at him. His dimples deeps that someone could scoop them like an ice-cream. He gives her an eskimo kiss that makes her veins run with glittery blood.

"I wan' ye' to be the mother of me babies." No hesitation. No dithering. Just him asking for the tinsy bit of her heart. For her forgiveness. For the love they've kept blind eye for years. "We'll figure this out, yeah?" He murmurs their lips brushing and breaths kissing. Pulling back with a forehead kiss.

She lives for forehead kisses makes her shallow tin heart explode with glittery firecrackers.

She nods to give him the affirmation that she wants what he wants.

.

[min-chery]

Whiskey and smoke | KTH & PJM

Pairing: Taehyung / Named OC / Jimin

Rating: 16+

Warnings: Bartender Taehyung!au / Rich Jimin!au / vague mentions of sexual assault / drinking / smoking / Written in OC's POV

Summary: She has been bound to follow orders all through her life. Living a life of restraint, Taehyung had become her only source of relief. And one day, he and a very handsome stranger from the bar take a decision that rocks her damned world.

Word count: 2.9k

I swirl the amber liquid in the glass. Pegs after pegs of whiskey already In my system. It does me more good than harm. Has been doing it for the past 4 years.

It has become my companion over the years. I don't lose myself it. Never will. I find myself when have it by my side. I find the confidence I crave for. The world becomes brighter than it ever possibly could.

The bartender keeps a close eye on me, his lips forming a pout. He's sometimes the only one who cares about me. And I'll gladly indulge myself knowing I'm not unwanted.

"I'm alright Tae. It's not my first time drinking." I wave him off.

"That's why I'm worried, noona. Another family gathering?" He inquires.

"Hmm. And a few important clients from his company."

"You should tell them this isn't the life you want, Val. You're drinking yourself to death at this rate."

"It's not that easy." I sigh.

"It is that easy. You've never tried to know that." He whispers harshly.

"Don't act as if you care." I sneer. He talks as if it's that easy to confront them. Them. My manipulative parents.

"I do care, okay! You think I asked you out thrice because I don't care? All you've done those times was throw the same shitty excuse at my face. You won't understand how much I care, Valeria. You're too drunk to even try and understand how hard I'm trying to see you as just a bestfriend when we know we both are not just that." He looks disappointed in me for the first time and it breaks my heart. I look straight into his eyes without letting myself waver and he stares with the same intensity. He finally gives up, slamming the shaker on the counter before heading to the other side of the bar.

To hear him call me by name and not 'noona' or 'Val' makes me almost tear up. I sniffle, pulling my hair towards my face. The world blurs and the scenes from my first time meeting him take over.

It was in high school I first saw him. My bestfriend introduced me to this club. Back then this building had been used as a hangout spot for people interested in motorsports. Jungkook and I sneaked out from school on multiple occasions to meet with the people here. It was everything I had ever wished for. I had nothing to hide about among those people. Didn't have to pretend who I was. There was always free alcohol here. And the first time Jungkook brought me here, a guy had draped his arm over my bestfriend's shoulder and said "Who have you brought here with you, Jungkookie?"

He had smiled so wide at me, I wondered for a second if I was in heaven. How could someone have been so beautiful and been a human?

Jungkook had introduced us to each other and left us alone to get along. And we did. We got along so well and so fast, we were surprised. He talked my ear off about a girl he loved. Narrated so many stories about their happy life together. They sounded so happy and in love, that it struck me like a flash of lightning when he said she cheated on him multiple times. His eyes that had been scrunched up in a smile all afternoon and had suddenly taken a glossy sheen to them.

It had been the first time I had seen a man cry. I remember wondering if I could ever soothe him. If I could see him smile once again that day. But he recovered pretty quick. He had found something else to hold onto and love. Motor racing.

The sound of a throat clearing rings beside me and I lift up my face to look at the person. A man about my age peers at me from above his glass of scotch. There's a slight hint of a smile on his lips as if he's watched the previous conversation with Tae and finds our little fight amusing.

I sniffle and glare at him, which only makes him smile more openly. He sets down the glass on the counter and wipes the liquid off his plump lips with the back of his palm.

"Don't worry about him. He'll come around soon." He says, voice gentle and laced with a teasing smile.

"And I don't need a stranger telling me that about my bestfriend." I snicker. It makes a foul emotion crawl through my skin. To see an outsider talk about Tae, my Tae, as if he knows him better than I do.

"My my I should've probably introduced myself first. I'm Park Jimin. Taehyung's roommate." The smirk that's settled on the man's lips is so frustrating, it makes me want to punch him square in the nose.

"Do you smoke?" He asks. For once it feels like he's not mocking me. I nod, placing my hand in his when he extends it.

It's then I realize that I'm following a man that I've met for the first time outside. Beneath the arrogance, he seems like a gentleman by the way he's curled his fingers around mine. A fragility in the way he handles me.

We walk a few blocks away from the club. Music from the place we just left still faintly following us. Jimin then sits on the clean sidewalk, looking at me to sit down too. And I do. Sitting so close to him, I take to opportunity to really absorb his features into my brain. 'He's beautiful' is the conclusion my mind comes to.

He holds out a cigarette, waiting for me to put it between my lips. I part my lips open for him to do so. He gulps before doing so and then proceeds to take out his lighter. The orange light the flame produces shines on his face making him look handsome in a different way.

His eyes lift up from the cancer stick in my mouth to my eyes and fall back on my lips. He's quickly moving away from me as if he's scared of the effect I would have on him.

I take in puffs of the smoke, let it fill my lungs with the toxins. I still don't understand why it relieves me, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't. It's just as good of a friend of mine as is the alcohol.

"So you're the one who's been hooking up with Tae for so long." He says, pushing away the silence that had engulfed us. I nod, letting out the smoke I'd held in my mouth.

"I've known Tae my whole life. And I've seen him cry only a handful of times. The first time was back in high school. When he cut his ex-girlfriend out of his life. For good." He grits out the final part, eyes unfocused as he recollects his memories.

"And then a couple of years later. When you told him about your family. He didn't tell me anything other than how he thinks they're the shittiest people in your life. Didn't go into much detail about it. Just cried in my arms all night until he fell asleep." He's now looking at me with a soft look in his eyes.

"He told me he loved you that night. I always teased him about this Valeria who had his heart. Still has it. The last time I saw him cry was when you rejected him. The first time." I remember that day, I considered it the worst moment of my life. And Jimin wasn't the only one that saw him cry that day.

I woefully smile, feeling a lump in my throat grow bigger. Taking another long drag of the cigarette, I flick it onto the road. It doesn't fall far from me though. Jimin is stretching towards it and tossing it into a waste bin close by without lifting his ass up. He's smirking once again, winking at me. I laugh at his attempt to impress me with his aiming skills.

"They are shitty people. My family. I'm only something they use for their publicity stunts. Attending their business parties, walking around in rich gowns for the men to see. They never for once asked me what I wanted. All they've done is throw things at me and demand at me to be what they wanted me to be." I laugh, but it's anything but with happiness.

"I've abandoned my dreams to be a living doll for those people. I've had strangers my father's age run their filthy hands over my body. And he watched, that man. Watched his friends make his daughter feel like dirt. Can still feel the fingers of the guy my dad wants me to marry on my bare back from just hours ago." My voice cracks, tears no longer being able to be held within the confines of the waterline. As they tumble down my cold cheeks, I wrap my arms around myself. Feeling naked in my backless dress.

Jimin rustles beside me, shrugging his blazer down his shoulders and wraps it over me. He giving me an apologetic look which I wave off. I'm too tired to deal with the problems in my life.

"Why won't you agree to be Tae's girlfriend when you love him? The guy your dad chose is obviously a pathetic excuse of a man."

"I'm not the kind who stand up for themselves. I kept telling him that I'll never be able to turn down my father's order if he asks me to marry a rich businessman. I'd have to cut Taehyung out of my life and I can't do that to him. He deserves someone way better than that." I sniffle, wiping my face free of the moisture. Jimin's letting my words sink in, thinking of a response.

"Look, I've not had a great family either. Left them behind when I was really young. I let them know how forcing their decisions on me was not worth losing me. So, I understand how you must feel. But it's always nice to have someone fight for you, fight the whole world with you. And with Taehyung in your life, I don't know if there is anyone who'll be as careful with your heart as he is."

"Stop trying to set me up with him." I laugh.

"Just saying." He replies, his eyes closed into crescents as he joins in my laughter.

"Got another cigarette?" I ask as I move in closer to him. He worriedly looks at me and then nods. Once again lighting it up, he places it between my lips.

I take in a long drag and hold the smoke in my mouth. I watch Jimin gulp as I move in even closer to him. I blow it to his face, his eyes growing hooded as he looks at me through the toxic air. I pass the stick to him, asking him to do the same. He follows along, hollowing out his cheeks and blowing it to my face.

It makes my core thrum from the intensity of the scene. A hand with the number '13' tatted on the wrist holding a cigarette and the puff of smoke encasing the two of us. We've come incredibly close to each other, faces just centimeters away. He's slowly leaning in, eyes locked on my lips as mine on his. Our noses brush, a spark going straight to my brain.

I shift my head to the side, eyeing his soft ears. I lift up a finger to gently tug at the earring, toying with it as I breathe in his cologne. The soft flesh of his earlobe tend me irresistible and pull me in to press a kiss there.

Jimin's arms have wound themselves around me, his nose buried in my hair as I kiss his ear. Somehow, my mind has deemed him a safe place. Him being Taehyung's roommate playing a large role in my trust in the man I've met for the first time today.

"Val! Jimin-ah! Is that you two?!" Taehyung calls out, rushing towards us. I jump up from the sidewalk, walking towards him with Jimin trailing behind. As Taehyung nears us, he opens his arms. My eyes blur with unfallen tears and I smash into his chest.

He wraps himself around me, forming a protective embrace. I fist his black shirt at his chest, cuddling and making myself smaller in his arms. His hands run through the length of my hair, his cheek smushed at the top of my head. He's my warmth on a cold night and without him, I'd fall into a pit of eternal winter.

"I'm sorry, Val." He says, not letting go of me and I'm glad he didn't. I wasn't ready to leave his embrace yet.

"You had a tough time and came to the club for some relief and me being a dumbass lectured you." He says against my hair.

"Don't call yourself a dumbass." I pout, weakly hitting at his chest. His laughter fills my ears, along with Jimin's quiet chuckle. I look up at Jimin from where I'm buried in Tae's torso. He looking at us with newfound adoration.

"I'm sorry though." He mumbles.

" 's okay."

I'm being moved away from Taehyung's chest after a minute, but still held towards him by my waist. Taehyung looks at Jimin, a quiet conversation between them. And Jimin walks closer to the two of us, his hands going around Taehyung's shoulder.

"Hi baby." Jimin coos, making a faint red dust across Taehyung's cheeks. Jimin then places a kiss on his lips, a quick peck before they're both looking at me.

"I've been wanting to tell you something noona." Taehyung starts, his hands tightening around me.

"I and Jiminie have been roommates since high school. And we've decided to move to The States."

It hits me like a flash of lightning when he says so. He's moving away. Far away from me. And somehow it invokes a deep fear in me. Jungkook also moved to the US after college. I feel dizzy realizing I'd be left alone in the hands of my family. And I'd rather die than let that happen.

"Tae..." I whisper, the tears running down my cheeks almost instantly. His eyebrows pinch in worry, hands holding my face. His thumb brushes my cheekbones, catching the tears as they fall.

"I found an amazing photography program at one of the colleges and it fit right in my budget. I won't even have to get a student loan for it. It was our dream remember? Me taking photography while you took business courses." I nod. I remember talking about it right after we hooked up for the first time. I had laid on his chest, his arms holding me as close to him as possible.

"We're both being stagnant in our lives, Val. How long do you think we can keep hooking up? You're going to leave me behind the second you get engaged to a stranger." His eyes are filling up in pain.

"I'm coming with you, Tae. I'll suffocate here without you. Don't leave me, Tae. Don't leave me." I'm sobbing hard in his arms, clutching hard at his waist as if it would stop him from going away.

Jimin moves in, taking both me and Tae into his arms. He places a gentle kiss on both of our foreheads.

"We'll take you with us if you want, moonlet. You've got a week to yourself before we move. You can take some time and think about this decision, alright? We need you to be sure you want to come with us." he speaks benignly.

"I don't need more time. I want to come with you." I say with determination.

"That's good, Val. Jiminie will take good care of us. He's got a huge apartment in New York. Got a shit ton of money. He's really kind too. And god the things his dick makes you feel." Taehyung groans, throwing his head back and then breaking into laughter. Jimin and I join in, basking in the warmth his smile provides. We both love this adorable boy with a boxy smile and I'm sure it is seen in our eyes.

"You're making me sound like a sugar daddy, you idiot." Jimin says, hitting him softly at the back of his head.

"It is true though." Tae laughs. "Looks like lover boy's starting to feel things for you, noona."

Jimin blushes, trying to stand tall and not shying from our collective gaze. In the end, he gives up, stuffing his face in the crook Taehyung's neck.

"He doesn't have a problem with polyamory too. He's the full package, this guy." he smiles, ruffling Jimin's hair.

We don't stay there for long after our conversation. We head to Jimin and Taehyung's apartment and I stay the night. We all spend time getting to know each other better. Me and Jimin bond very fast, learning we're both similar in a lot of ways. I and Tae let Jimin in on our stories from years ago. I and Jimin even kiss for the first time that night, leaving us warm and blushing.

As the night progresses and we lay in each other's arms on the living room floor, I realize I'm being given another chance at life. Maybe running away from the people who birthed you isn't the best way to start your life again. But it feels good. To finally leave behind the toxicity. In a week's time, I'll be free. And I intend on making the most out of my life after.

[namestaybutfriendscallmetrash]

Parks and Wrecks

Fic #2 of the day for @davekatweek 2017 Day 5 Prompt "Leave it up to Fate"

The prompt I used in in the link below, and okay maybe it wasn't exactly random but that's still okay right? Right?

http://otpprompts.tumblr.com/post/158049080336/person-a-is-super-sad-and-its-super-late-so-they

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: M/M

Fandom: Homestuck

Relationship: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas

Characters: Dave Strider, Rose Lalonde, Karkat Vantas, Roxy Lalonde (Mentioned), Gamzee Makara (Mentioned), Kanaya Maryam (Mentioned), John Egbert (Mentioned)

Additional Tags: Tumblr Prompt, Davekat Week 2017, Day 5, "Leave it up to Fate" Day, hardly any romance but whatever right, alternately titled "Taylor has a problem and can't stop writing pesterlogs because they're pretty", tw for:, abuse mention, Mental Illness, (unspecified)

Read it on Ao3 through the link below or under the cut :)

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11769885

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]

TG: rose TG: heu rose TG: whre are you rigght now TG: rpse TG: rose TT: Dear gods Dave are you drunk? It's nearly midnight! TT: What do you want? TG: i need yu to comr gett me TG: quicjly if posssivle TT: What? Where are you? TT: And what's going on? TG: th park TG: itss hapenng again TG: pleaase help m TT: What park? TG: cannt read the sing TG: fuck i cn hardlt see TT: I need to know where it is if I'm coming to get you. TG: h sometingg TG: maybe higglans TG: highlad TT: Highland? TG: plese come egt me0 TG: m freakin the fuccout TT: I'm on my way, just sit down and wait for me.

You shut your phone off and shove it in your pocket with shaky hands and try to remember what your psychiatrist told you to do about these attacks. Deep breaths, silence, stress ball, vitamin d? You have no idea, and it's making it worse.

You all but throwing yourself onto the bench beside you, the only one free of the influence of any streetlight.

All it took was a stroll along the side if the road, a piece of gravel kicked into a street sign, a distinctive clang of metal, and it all hit you like a damn semi.

Swords, swords, why did everything sound like swords? And why did the sound make you shake, make your scars tingle?

You pull your legs up onto the edge of the bench and wrap your arms around them tightly, shutting your eyes to block out what little light the nearest streetlight throws and wait for your sister.

...

Eventually you hear tires on gravel, and when you take your hands away from your face you hand see headlights nearby.

You sit upright immediately and stare at the black sedan, which has now stopped in the parking lot hardly 60 feet away from you. A short, dark dressed figure gets out of the driver's seat and you stand.

“R-Rose?” You call, and it turns to look at you.

You're running before she has a chance to answer, bridging the gap between you in seconds and all you hear is a startled yelp as you cling onto her like a toddler that lost their mom in the supermarket.

“Rose thank fuck you're….” a lot less curvy than last time and also have no boobs…?

You look up at not Rose's extremely confused and slightly alarmed face.

“Shit, shit,” You pull off the visibly uncomfortable stranger, face going even whiter than usual.

Not literally though. You're albino so it's more like a figure of speech in your case.

“I'm sorry, you're not Rose, shit,”

“Yeah, no. Sorry?”

“God damn it, I'm, no, shit,”

You shove your violently trembling hands in your pockets and turn away from the guy because it's getting worse even faster now, and you really don't want anyone to see you like this, not even a stranger.

Speaking of stranger, you hear a cautious sounding footstep behind you.

“Hey, um, are you, like, okay?”

You don't turn around, just nod your head.

“Y-yeah, just… looking for someone.”

Good one, Strider.

The guy behind you seems to shuffle in place like he wants to say something, but he doesn't. That's probably for the best, he's got one of those voices that can't be quiet and quite frankly you can't handle that right now.

You back over to the dark bench and sit down again, trying and failing to control the shaking in your shoulders. You look over at the guy and he's staring, but once he realized you can see him he turns back to his car.

“Where the hell are you Rose…” you mutter under your breath as you put your head between your knees. You wish you hadn't gone out tonight, and you really wish you hadn't turned down John's offer to drive you home. ‘It's cool bro I'm only a 10 minute walk that way, save your gas’ was, in hindsight, not your best decision tonight.

Judging by the fact that someone just sat down beside you and cautiously placed a hand on your arm, smother hugging someone before you were sure they were Rose is pretty high up there on tonight's regret scale, too.

“Hi, so I know you said you were fine, but I kinda think that's bullshit and I'd be an ass to leave you here alone, so…”

He trails off, and you have to look up and make sure it's that same guy because that same grating voice just got really soft somehow.

He half smiles at you nervously when you turn your head enough to look at him out of your left eye, and you sigh shakily.

“Thanks, but I really am fine. I'll be back to my usual cool self in no time, I'm just down a bit right now, you know like, uh, shit I don't know, just whatever.”

You really wish your voice didn't sound like you were on the edge of tears. It doesn't help that you're on the edge of tears, wait what the hell why are you crying now?

“Fuck off, I'm not leaving until someone shows up to take you home.”

You tuck your head back between your legs and you feel hot tears begin to run down your cheeks.

“So who's Rose? Girlfriend? Oh, or ex maybe? Shit, sorry-”

“Sister. Rose is my sister.”

“Oh.”

You'd laugh at the total ass he's making of himself right now if you weren't in the middle of having a mental breakdown. Thanks a lot past traumas.

“Does she know you're here? I can call her to come get you, or something, if you want…”

“Yeah. She's coming.”

You don't know when he took his hand off you but you know he did when he shuffles awkwardly beside you, then goes silent for a minute or so. His voice cuts in just when you had almost convinced yourself you were home and it was Rose beside you.

“I, uh, I'm sorry if me being here is stressing you out or something… I can leave if you want.”

You don't say anything.

“It's just that I used to have a friend who would do this all the time, I mean break down alone at night, he usually came to this park too.”

You think he's balling his fists in his lap by the way you can hear skin and fabric brushing together.

“That stupid kid, he'd just drag himself here and wait for me to come get him, balled up under the slide and spouting nonsense at no one. I wish he'd have fucking realized he wasn't… Nevermind. He doesn't matter anymore.”

You actually kinda want to see where that story was going, but you're finally moving into the exhaustion stage of your little fit. Your eyes still sting from the tears that stopped not long ago and your eyelids desperately want to cover them. You think maybe you shouldn't let that happen, you don't want to add ‘falling asleep in a public park’ to the list of stupid shit you've done tonight.

You sit up, but let your head hang lazily in front of you. You make no effort to move it when you speak, either.

“He wasn't what.” You sound half dead, and you hope his voice can keep you from flatlining.

“He… he thought he would be fine if he just waited for me there every night. He'd get high out of his fucking mind, wander the streets in a stupor then come here when he started to feel bad again and wait for me. I'd find him passed out, crying, biting his fingers, pissing himself, you name it. But…”

He gulped.

“I'm not a doctor. I couldn't help him with the after effects or the mental problems he was trying to escape. He wasn't safe like he thought he was.”

This time the silence was worse. You peer at him through your left eye again, and he's staring off into the pitch black sky.

“You okay man.”

He looks at you suddenly like he didn't know you were there before scowling and turning his head away.

“Me?”

He's gone back to the loud voice, but you don't really mind at this point.

“When the fuck did this turn into my therapy session? You're the one who tackled me in the parking lot in search of your surely more stable sister.”

You snort with as much humor as you can muster, which is none.

“Hey how about instead of talking about my fuck ups you tell me why I was assaulted today?”

You turn your head back down with uncertainty. As much as you usually love spewing your personal life at people, you feel kind of weird about talking to a stranger about this part. Apparently the guy could tell, because when he speaks, his voice seems kind of panicked.

“Fuck, sorry, you don't have to say anything, you don't even know me-”

“I'm not good at change.”

You don't really know why you said it. It's true, you guess, but it's not really the root of the problem.

“I'm 22 years old and I just moved in with my Mom, for the first time. It's… Really different than what I'm used to.”

You yawn, and slouch a little further down on the bench. You think maybe it should be Rose you're retelling this story to again, not whoever this poor guy is, but she's not here and he is. Too bad it's not a couch like you're used to.

“It's so nice, so much better than before. Before was… Really bad. But I didn't know how bad it was until I had something good. Does that make sense…?”

You look to your left fully for a response this time. The guy nods, his fluffy hair nodding with him.

“You don't know what you have until it's gone, but… worse.”

You face forwards again.

“Exactly. And now that he’s- it's gone, I'm learning that my brain got just as fucked up as my body did.”

“I'm really sorry to hear that… uhm…”

His voice was soft again, and you turned your head so see him staring awkwardly at you, his dark eyes peering out at you nervously from the mess of coarse black hair that hung around his face.

“Dave. Strider.”

He looked away, clearly embarrassed that he hadn't asked sooner.

“Thanks. Oh, and I'm Karkat by the way.”

You stretch your legs out in front of you, which you're starting to be able to feel normally again.

“Nice to meet you Mr.Karkat, and welcome to Dave's mental trauma- the only talk show where literally no one wants to be there.”

The guy- Karkat- chuckles a little bit, then sighs.

The two of you sit for a few minutes which seems to translate to ‘an uncomfortable amount of time’ for Karkat beside you, because he's fidgeting and keeps opening his mouth like he wants to say something but quickly turns away any time you start to turn your head towards him.

You guess about five minutes total have passed when you get up and stretch, about ready to start walking home. You're about to turn around and say bye or something when he finally speaks up.

“So, Dave…”

You make a short “Hm?” and half turn to see him on his feet as well, standing a surprising foot shorter than you- how did you think he was taller when you were sitting beside him?

“Do you need a ride home? Because I've got my car here, and I'm not busy... or whatever.”

You decide not to take any chances this time.

“Sure, thanks man. Here, give me your number and I'll text you my address so you can put it on maps or whatever.”

He complies, and you send the message before following him back to his car and getting in the passenger's side.

You hear him start up the car and mess around on his phone for a minute, then he pauses before shifting gears.

“Wait, you're like three blocks from here- couldn't you have just told me the way to your place?”

You don't answer, and instead keep your head rested against the door and your eyes closed.

The car starts backing up and you smirk as you hear an exasperated “Asshole,” from the driver.

…

tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

TT: Dave where are you, I'm at the park on Highland like you said. TT: Hello? turntechGodhead [TG] is an idle chum

TT: Come on, don't worry me like that then stop answering me. TT: Dave if you don't answer I'm calling Kanaya to come help me find you. TG: oh hey rose TG: wait did I say highland TG: i meant henson TT: That's half an hour from here, are you serious? TG: sorry TT: Whatever, do you still need me to come get you? Or are you fine now? TG: im fine just talked to some guy who showed up instead TG: he drove me back to mom's place too by the way TG: and don't worry about hunting him down like some deranged stalker bent on thanking people for me, I gave him my number so we're cool TT: That's great to hear, TT: Leave it to you to hit on a stranger after dumping your feelings on him. TG: im the king of getting ass, and not even a panic attack can slow me down TG: you know how it is/span> TT: Yes Dave, of course. tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG]