#i keep referring to myself in third person just so that i can see the he/him in action and it makes me feel so giggly every time

[iz-star]

Some thoughts about Zayne in "Adventure above clouds" event:

Like I've explained here, I've been having a bad feeling about Zayne's fate in the next main story updates, and after finishing Zayne's route in "Adventure above clouds" my feelings of uncertainty are just increasing.

So, I'm going to write down some thoughts I had while playing his route, especially about him wearing Dawnbreaker's variant outfit "Shadowfall dawn", which might be a bit interesting for some.

Disclaimer: I would like to pride myself as a Zayne connossieur but that's actually quite far away from reality. I'm a Zayne main and I devour every piece of info that there is about him, however my interpretations and opinions are my own and can be wrong. I'm someone that sometimes tends to overanalyze so, it's up to you if you agree or no with my takes! I'm also always open to be corrected ❤️

Let's get strated with by saying that in this event, Zayne was undoubtedly and utterly perfect. He's honestly all what he's always been: Sweet, patient, cute, smart, funny, gentle, caring and a lot of other things, the only difference here is that he's more prone to show his affections openly and straightforward which only showcases his development as character. It's like he finally feels at ease by expressing himself, especially around MC. When I say he was perfect, I'm not talking at how lovely he was (he's always been lovely anyway) but more like, he's natural, he feels less stiff, totally happy with MC and himself, smiling most part of the time and showing his love even through words, to the point MC says this:

Since Snowy Serenity he's been more direct at expressing his intimate thoughts towards MC. For example, in previous cards he would always refer to her as "someone" and even refer to him in third person: "Someone thinks it's special treatment" [Drunken Intimacy] "He can't ignore you even if he wants to" [Tranquil Heart] "Recently, a certain someone ocupies my mind. Whether I'm walking, eating or sleeping, I keep picturing myself with her" [Heartstring healer] to mention a few.

It's in Snowy Serenity that we have a clear change in his way of expressing his feelings. He starts with "I don't want the person I like to get hurt", in here he's still using the third person but the message is really straightforward "the person I like" and as the conversation goes by and it becomes more meaningful, deep and intimate, he leaves all his chains behind and says "I need you, I have never denied that". This card is all about communication, even he admits that he's always been bad at saying what others want to hear and still, he's trying.

In Hidden Motive, this behaviour keeps going. When MC says that the lights behind him are beautiful, he looks at her and replies "Indeed, very beautiful". Because his eyes are fixating in her, she clarifies that she's talking about the lights but without hesitation Zayne replies: "I know. I was talking about you"

And I'd like you to recall Drunken Intimacy because this is like a paralel with Hidden Motive, since both cards were made for lovers' day festivities; Drunken intimacy for Valentine's Day and Hidden Motive for Qixi festival which is lovers' day in China. Not only they are like cards that go hand in hand but also showcase Zayne's and MC's character develompment and how their relationship has changed:

See the difference?

In Snowy Serenity and Hidden Motive, there's a focus on improving communication, being honest about their needs and feelings (Zayne saying "I'll survive" at MC's concern and her telling him that he'd better stop talking in Snowy Serenity and MC talking about her "last wishes" before dying and entrusting them to Zayne and he replying that he didn't come all the way here to listen to her talk about that nonsense) and finally, getting both physically and emotionally closer.

In this last event, "Adventure above clouds" it feels like the result of this devlopment is finally paying off all their effort: they're both happy working together to solve the escape room, showing open affection, talking about the future and the past ("Us in 50 years" "Our childhood memories" or how was Zayne's university years without MC and the big difference now that he has someone to watch the falling snow with). They talk about how they're each other's sun, how they keep each other warm. When Zayne says that the snow will show them the way and they both "pray" it kind of reminded me of Master of Fate. They getting at the top of the Ice Palace reminded me of Foreseer.

(It's like we've reached peak, literally lol. Ok, bad joke, that's why I love Zayne).

And once all of this has happened, once they've gone through all this develpment, they've come this far together, even bits of the story reminded me of Zayne's myths, and they've talked about the past and the future, what's next?

Zayne mentions eternity.

Zayne has mentioned eternity a couple of times, like in one of the PV's where he's wearing End of Depths outfit ("As the cosmos dances to the tune of eternity, life will reach the fathomless depths of deepspace") and in some of the texts that show up when you level up your affinity with him ("I want to turn every moment into eternity).

In here, he doesn't mention eternity directly, but it's implied when he says "Every snowflake will rememember your name. As well as our story". Eternity is just another way to refer to death for immortal people. It's like Zayne is saying "Your name and our story will endure in the snow even when we're no longer here". We often talk about the memories we leave behind in this world once we part from it, who will remember us? What are the proofs that we existed and lived in this world once we're gone? Will our story fade away? In here is like Zayne is just promising her that their love won't be forgotten.

Let's remind that one focal point in the story is immortality. We know that MC it's immortal and even in the main story, when Zayne it's explaining things about the protocore in MC's heart, he mentions that he doesn't know too much about it, however he knows that her protocore creates a shield around her when she's attacked and that she will live long enough to discover its misteries (kind of reminds of the Creatio Protocore that Foreseer gave MC but that's another talk for another day).

Whether if Dr Zayne knows about MC's immortality or he doesn't, that's something we don't know yet (altho something tells me that he knows, but I won't be explaning this here, if you're curious about it just ask), however we know two things:

1._ Zayne it's against using protocores in human hearts to reach "immortality". To him, death is still essential to life.

2._ Even knowing this, he also knew in his heart that he would do everything in his power to prevent MC's death and he seems to know that something bad is about to happen.

Master of Fate and Foreseer already proved these points. Master of Fate had to kill MC for the greater good but decided to say "fuck it" and instead chose to seal her powers. Foreseer also broke the rules for her sake and gave her the Creatio Protocore, going against Astra's will in order to cure her illness and extend her life (probably one of the things that caused her immortality?). She's always been the exception to every rule in Zayne's book. Something tells me that things with Dr Zayne won't be the exception.

And now... we have to recall something about Zayne's first PV.

Ever since the beginning, Zayne's route was presented as something with angst. It's interesting to hear these unknown voices saying "Won't you regret it" "She will not come back" "You've paid the price"

This whole PV makes it look like Zayne puts MC to sleep in order to protect her (like with MoF) so she wouldn't "come back" ( revive with the help of her aether core) and then... he loses control of his evol and freezes the whole hospital? Dies in the process? These are just speculations and can be wrong, however we simply know that something bad is happening there and, if we recall them talking in "Adventure above the clouds" and "Us in fifty years"... this PV kinda shatters the hopes for them to have a life as long as that. However, 5* memories and events are not exactly connected to the main story but I think they kind of... interconnect somehow? I'm still wondering how the devs are going to relate each ML route with the Main Story. The announced that they are going to release more "Main Story Branches" from September to December, and I don't know if by saying "Branches" they meant routes? Or simply referencing to the way they've released the main story until now, with each chapter dedicated to each LI? Either way, those are questions for another day.

Now, let's remember this:

"When you and the world wake up, I hope we do not meet again"

A quote that kind of leads us to Zayne's next lifetime: Dawnbreaker.

I've mentioned above that there are bits of Zayne's route in Adventure above clouds that reminded me of MoF and Foreseer, but now it's also time to mention the most obvious thing, the Dawnbreaker reference in this event, of course: "Shadowfall dawn":

There are two things about Zayne's look here:

1._ He's wearing the variant version of Dawnbreaker's outfit.

2._ He also has a halo above his head.

And these two things together create an interesting concept considering that Dawnbreaker Zayne, the serial killer is considered the Grim Reaper, his whole aesthetic is dark, it's even clarified in his anecdotes that his wardrobe was full of black clothes. To see him with a brown variant of his outfit wouldn't make sense at some point... So, of course, Doctor Zayne being his opposite, the one who instead of ending lifes, saves them to the point of exahustion, wears the clear variant outfit, looking like an angel.

Were have we read this before?

Of course, Doctor Zayne is in the opposite role of Dawnbreaker Zayne and even tho Doctor Zayne is always wearing black clothes outside of his lab coat, it's actually wearing his profession's clothes what completes the aesthetic with Dawnbreaker: The Guardian Angel (white) and The Grim Reaper (black).

However in Adventure above clouds, Zayne is not wearing his lab coat cause he is not in his Doctor role. He's just being Zayne, he's being himself, what he is. He's being free, like I commented at the beginning of this post. Still, the fact he's wearing Dawnbreaker's variant with a halo seems a bit supicious considering what I've already pointed out, right? It could also be that I'm simply looking too much into it, but I also believe in the power of foreshadowing, especially considering that we all know that Zayne's birthday is coming next and it kind of connects with Dawnbreaker.

In the story of Adventure above clouds, of course there is a reason as to why everyone is wearing an accessory, in Zayne's case, it's because his role is being "Winter's emissary" just as MC, so she is also wearing one, however we all know that "Winter's emissary" it's more likely to be a fitting title for Zayne than for her. Recalling what it's been previously mentioned here, he says "With Winter's Emissary by your side, every snowflake will remember your name, as well as our story".

Zayne is saying that he'll be by her side in the snow, he is promising her eternity in the snow and with the halo above his head, it is clear that he kinda looks like MC's Guardian Angel, the one who is always going against his duty to ensure her safety, the one who pursued a medical career in order to take care of her heart disease, the one who is always on the lookout for her health and tho stric, still indulges her a lot. Aren't angels emissaries as well?

But you know, in order to become an angel, you first have to die? Doctor Zayne didn't have to die in order to fullfil his role as a doctor, however this one is simply Zayne. Emissaries never stay, they always have to return to the ppl who sent them. Will Zayne return to snow?

What was Zayne's reply to MC's post again?

At the end, all of this are nothing more than supositions that of course, it'd be very happy to get wrong. I wouldn't mind ending up looking like a clown if these theories are wrong and we get to spend a lot of time and precious memories with Zayne. I genuinely just want to see him being happy after all these years of respressed emotions.

[himbocoups]

˗ˋˏ Epistolary Yearning ˎˊ˗ | 18+ Only

synopsis: a series of letters, speckled with notes of budding romance and longing, exchanged between a newly married couple separated by seas and the ongoing war the emperor sent his commander to end.

pairing: duke!lsm x reader (gn afab)

genre: epistolary form, historical fantasy, romance | smut

tags: arranged marriage, mentions of a war, dk and yn accidentally invent the concept of planes, two people very much falling in love | degrading, fingering, guided play, honey play, marking, mirror play, pet names, praise, pussy slapping, riding, spitting, squirting…

wc: 5.13k

message from nu: fueled by my love for historical, fantasy, and isekai manhuas. big thank you to my beta readers (@heartkyeom, @aceofvernons, and @multi-kpop-fanfics) for reading when I was playing with the format of this fic + @junkissed with helping out with the syntax for this one very confusing line I wrote. also summoning @onlyseokmins bc I told her I'd tag her once duke!dk was finished <3

himbocoups's masterlist

Letter One - YN

My Lord, 

How are you? I hope your trip is going as smoothly as planned. 

It has been a while since I last heard from you. As Summer comes to a fading end, Autumn threatens to wash the foliage to hues of brown and auburn. And I sit at the library nook beside the window, taking quill to parchment against the cover of a heavily bound book and scratching against blank pages before I can muster the courage to write to you. I do sincerely apologize if this attempt seems strange. 

Though I pity our brief time together, the only things I familiarized myself with are your scintillant eyes. Maybe instead of feeling as dull as the color of nature, I’ll think about how the color is reminiscent of your eyes. Eyes, these beautiful jewels seem to reflect the light through your smile. I can’t help but imagine myself as the last person to see them every night as I lay beside you as we drift off into slumber. Would it be too forward of me to say that the thought of growing fond of you, not just your eyes, is slowly appealing more and more to me? 

However, I do have hesitations as I am left alone to roam these lonely halls in a place so unfamiliar to me. It would be a pity shall I reach familiarity with my surroundings before I become familiar with you. Or even worse, to have you forget your familiarity with me. 

Please be safe for me. Hurry home soon.

Letter Two - DK

My Jewel,

For someone who longs for familiarity, you need not create even more distance between us through formalities. And my love, you need not refer to me as your Lord. Love is all I ask for, as love is what you will always be to me. Albeit, I do find it disheartening to read that you think of me so lowly. I could never forget someone as precious as you, even if you do not believe in your preciousness. 

Nevertheless, I, too, pity the brevity of our time together. Marriage agreed upon through an exchanging of letters by our guardians, now our marriage follows suit in the epistolary form. Yet no descriptive access through penmanship could ever grant the feeling that blossomed inside me and continues to bloom since I first laid my eyes upon you. And on the eve of the third week of our matrimony, I was whisked away to end the war. I do sincerely apologize for my absence. 

On this rocking ship, all I can do is stare into the swirling sea in search of a passing merchant ship with letters to deliver. The birds that soar above me seem to provoke me with their independence, cawing in hearty guffaw at the fact that this poor man can never take flight at any moment back into his lover’s arms - where he feels most at home.

Maybe we should take giant birds instead of ships, soaring in the skies and reaching our destination in an instant. How wondrous that would be. 

But I am an equally lonesome Commander among his squadron, a man who keeps the first letter from his lover in the pocket against his breast and his wedding band around his neck. Just thinking about how you were thinking about me while writing that letter, still thinking about me, conciliates any disarray in my mind. And I promise you that I will make you feel loved for the rest of your life, even if our love is only budding. 

I will lead my men well. Then I will lead myself home. To you. 

Letter Three - YN

My Dokyeom (If it is fine to refer to you in this way),

I do have to admit to my shyness, how my face flushed with heat when you referred to me as your beloved. Your “love”…my goodness, our servants nearly called the doctor over when they saw my state of awe. Although, I do apologize if the language in my initial letter seemed blunt or made you feel even a hint of sadness that I accidentally made you for a man with a cold demeanor. 

You wrote: “Maybe we should take giant birds instead of ships, soaring in the skies and reaching our destination in an instant” in our last exchange. What a preposterous idea! But what a new discovery to find that you are as funny as you are charming. Shall we commission a local alchemist to create potions that magnify tiny sparrows to large ships? Or shall I ditch my archery lessons in exchange for nights in your magnificent library, scouring the archives with the hope to find a recipe to an enlarging potion hidden in a romance novel? 

Oh, how I wish everything could be as easy as depicted in romance novels or that one Opera we went to watch. Days consume me on end. Not in the way in which I consume much of my leisure time by staying in the places we frequented in our time together, but in the way in which time passes by so slowly it feels like the concept of time is consuming me instead. I wish it were you who were consuming me even though I do feel it through your love. Because I, too, keep your letter near me. And I trace over the areas your quill indented the parchment, so much that I sometimes end up smudging the dried ink with my hand. 

I do miss you...even more when everything around me reminds me of you. Because you, who makes silly promises about a budding romance, will also be the receiver of my elementary promise about my slowly collecting love for you. 

P.S. They are close to finishing our portraits. I have yet to decide where they are to be hung. 

Letter Four - DK

My Love,

My Seokmin. Seok. Min. Mine. Beloved. Love. Dearest. Husband. Equal. Anything but Duke, Lord, Commander, or Dokyeom is welcome. How I wish for the day I get to hear my name leave your lips through a soft murmur, laughter, greeting, whisper, and mayhaps even a whine. 

Honeymoon was cut short by my trip across the sea. We are finally on land. In front of me is a crackling campfire whose glow conceals the redness of my cheeks, dappled with jubilance from reading your last letter. 

My dearest shy and humble lover whose metaphoric propositions of love are anything but reticent, I have annotated my favorite portions and circled words that I replay in my mind as a source of comfort. However, like what you did with your quotation of my imaginary bird ship, I must reference a few nuances in your letter that I find interesting. Particularly, I find that you must be careful in formatting your syntax, my beloved — for your way of language is enough to drive a sane man mad. Just think of me: a sane man before I had you and now a man slowly falling madly in love with you. 

Referring back to how time achingly consumes you, your “I wish it were you who were consuming me. Although I do feel it through your love” causes me to quiver in a way that is only shared between two lovers. I am a man whose honeymoon was interrupted by the king’s call, a man who is weeks without his lover, a man who has needs - desires. And your need for me to consume you? I can only pluck it out of context. 

If everything around you reminds you of me, then I must tell you that I hope your reminder does not make you suffer as how I suffer. My love, do you know how painful it was to lay in my bed while the ship continually rocked back and forth? It was reminiscent of our second week together when you decided to mount me in bed, your beautiful opalescent undergarment covering an action so lewd that it could never be named in public. Yet I was a man on a ship with his aching cock in his hand, imagining his newly beloved on top of him who squeezes him tightly as they ride his lap. 

No hand could ever replace the fervor of having you rock me, leaning forward to kiss me down my naked chest while sucking and licking the thin area of skin right above my collarbone. How warmly your walls enveloped my own, squeezing and contrasting with every glide you make. I couldn’t help but twitch in you, trying to hold in my selfishness by grabbing onto your thighs - kneading and feeling the skin fill the areas between my fingers. But you bounced on my lap like a bunny in heat, causing my hands to trail further upwards until they lay on your ass…I wanted to worship you by turning myself into a throne, a marble stand so others could be in awe of you for centuries to come. 

Mouth unable to talk, your kitten drooled onto my lap and coated the surface with liquid lust while you whimpered as I praised you for treating me so well. I scooped the syrup from the maple tap and brought it to my mouth to suck; even now I can still feel your sweet syrup rest on my tongue and swirl in my mouth. Yet there I was on that boat, losing my mind with my hand on my tap. Bed sheets soaked with my sweat, I could only imagine that it was your sweat-glistened skin that stuck against mine. It was but a shame, and still is but a shame, that the image of you collapsed against my chest with exhaustion when your thighs trembled with such a quake only exists as a memory. How long would it take for me to turn the memory of me looping my arms around your back and pushing your upper body against mine, feeling you build and crash through a scream, into our reality? 

The land is no better than the sea. Truly, it must be treason to think such impure thoughts while riding on my finest stallion to head to our base. I am a Commander, a Duke for God’s sake. But the bouncing, the clopping - oh, beloved, my skin pricked with heat so much that I thought bandits were ambushing us. The pain I felt while I waited for my swelling to go down - I am utterly embarrassed to admit I almost released while riding in front of my men. 

How I wish I could come running back home to you. Shall I single-handedly overturn the monarchy so we can be equal partners to the throne? So that we can be rulers who need not leave our estate? Just give me the word, and the empire will be yours. Then I would never need to leave your side. That I guarantee. 

P.S. Hang the portrait wherever you please. Perhaps the ballroom so I would always be with you during the night of the balls. 

Letter Five - YN

My King,

How mad of you to write such vulgarities, to suggest usurping the throne only if it means being able to stay with me. You are a Commander. You are a Duke. You are one of the King’s men. Do you not fear the inevitable consequences that you would face should your letter be opened by anybody other than myself? Do you not fear what would happen to you if your lust-driven joke was wrongly taken for treason? I must say that despite everything, I found myself dipping a finger into your words and listening to my juices sing your letter like lyrics. 

Your words comforted my ache at my core, skillfully fighting fire with fire to extinguish my burning forest. However, if you were to turn into a mere object – a chair, a throne, a stand – I would never be satisfied in your worship. ‘Tis true that I would like to be worshiped by you like the first time your palm cupped my face in private confinement under the shade of the gazebo in the garden. With nobody around us, your face softened to reveal the most beautiful smile I have ever seen. Earnest eyes flittered to and fro as you studied me in awe and whispered words of praise. Up until then, I never even knew you could worship a person such as me. Yet, you, a mere stranger I met a few hours ago, placed a kiss upon my lips as soft as the petals on the flowers that surrounded us. 

If worshipping me means an inanimate you, I don’t think there would be anybody who could worship me with such sincerity and reason as you do…and I quite like the animate you even if the animate you screamed at the bug upon your sleeve. I couldn’t stop laughing then. And when you looked back at me with those bashful eyes, I knew this would be a marriage filled with laughter.  

Laughter, as I have recently learned, doesn’t only exist jovially. No. Reading your comment about my syntax, I almost erupted in a peal of sinister laughter. My poor lover with his cock in his hand and his quill in his other and his attempt to warn someone with such an extensive educational background about their syntax…you are too pure for this world. Should it make you feel better in any way, I have also thought about you in ways such a person in my stature should never. 

The other day when I was particularly distracted by the particular “unease” that had been building inside me, I accidentally launched a practice arrow into the wind. Chasing it, I happened upon our agriculture stables where the young workers sit and milk our cows. I swear, I must have been in such a delusional state to feel such a rush just from watching the motion of our cows getting milked that I ran off to the kitchens without picking up my stray arrow. 

Can you believe it, my dear? Have you been thinking of me differently since I admitted to almost leaking when I saw the cows getting milked? Would you think of me even differently if I told you I thought of you while talking to our ice sculptors? If you can quench my thirst on my loneliest days, I can only imagine what taking you in paired with ice would feel like for both you and me. 

Mayhaps, we should convene in the kitchen at night after the bell strikes twelve when all of our kitchen staff have retired. I want to kiss you with cherry-stained lips, watching tint transfer onto yours as I play with the seed of the fruit in my mouth while I wait for our cups of tea to steep. Kissing, I hope, would act as an analgesic for your painfully sleepless nights. Still, I find it abstruse that a kind, gentle, and good man like you would live such a cathartic life as a commander. Enerverated in every way as I am, I can only offer a somnolent kiss in hopes of luring you to sleep before your tea can fully steep. 

“What is a man without his honey,” you would say. Then I would ask you to specify what type of honey you are referring to. 

You would reply with this cheekiness in your voice while your lips pull into a wide smile, “the syrup.” If I’m not wrong, you would peck the top of my head while you reach over me to grab the jar that the cook keeps at the counter for you to easily access. Because the man with a honeyed siren voice that often procures lullabies for me to fall asleep also has a taste for the pollinators’ syrup. 

As you can tell…we are not simple people. We are not a regular couple. We have exchanged letters for longer than we have physically been together. So when I tell you to close your eyes to try to find your honey, would you? If I blindfolded you with a kitchen towel and told you to search for the dab of honey I swatched on my body, could you do it? Would you go to the lengths just to search for the honey to your tea?

Would you use your nose and sniff along my skin, searching for the floral and fruity aroma? Gently picking up my arm and bringing it to your nose, would you gently guide your nose along the surface of my skin in a position so intimate that you feel my arm hairs tickle the tip of your nose? Would you guide your nose upwards along my arm until you arrive at my collarbone, sniffing and docilely licking areas you think to be as sweet as honey? 

Imploring you in your reconnoiter, I must keep quiet as I watch you blindly explore every groove of the topography of my body. I imagine myself tilting my head towards the side to allow you access to the side of my neck, sharply breathing in as you nose the area in which I am the most sensitive. I see you hesitate for a second before planting your supple lips against the skin as if to sample before making a decision. To your surprise, what coats your lips in a sticky and sweet amber gloss is the honey I placed on my neck slowly trailing towards my collarbone. And I watch you intently as you lick it off your lips, leaving a translucent liquid sheen. 

Affected by a magnetic lure, you would somehow find yourself in front of me, your head positioned right above the slowly trailing bead of honey. It starts with a lick, hot tongue against cold skin. I can’t help but feel how the bumpy texture of your tongue cleans and pulls its way up my neck. After the hot saliva hits cold air, you take off the kitchen towel and look at me like a puppy waiting for its owner. 

“Such a good boy,” I murmur as I take the towel from your hand and wrap it around the nape of your neck to pull you in closer. “How does it taste?” 

What is more, is that I hope that in that moment my heart is not the only one that is beating as fast as how a hummingbird flaps its wings. My greedy husband, you back me against the kitchen island until you are pressed firmly against me as I watch and feel you bite and suck a garden of flowers across my neck and chest. Your large hands find themselves around my thighs, kneading and squeezing them so much that the fabric of my night clothes bunch in the palm of your hands. So I maneuver your hands around my waist, and you spin me around and bend me against that counter so I can feel you push yourself against me. 

“Be good for me,” you would command while undressing me. 

Then I would feel it, hands spreading my legs and fingers prying my ass apart, and then your warm and flat tongue against my kitten. One single lick would make my knees buckle. But you eating me out from behind, the way you knead my ass while you take your time swirling your tongue against my lips and lapping up my juices would make me come in an instant. Your tongue presses against my nub while your nose digs itself into my opening almost to the point where you’re fucking me with the tip of your nose, yet it is me who begs for air. And you keep my liquid on your tongue as you rise from your knees to pull my head back until I’m looking at you and your swollen and burgundy lips with my head tilted backward. 

And you pry my mouth open with your hand and watch me catch that sweet honey on the tip of my tongue. 

My dear, I am much too hot to even think about what comes after you let go of my jaw. My tenses in this letter are all mixed up because I’m so caught up in my delusions that I mistake dreams for reality. I feel ashamed to revert to such elementary composition when I am clouded by lust. But in this sensory game of wits, who do you think would win — the explorer or the explored? 

P.S. I’ve had our painting temporarily hung in our dining room as I cannot even bring myself to think about the possibility of hosting a ball without you. The great ballroom has been collecting dust since the first month you left for the war. Besides, invitations to the first ball of the season have long been sent out. I attended and made some acquaintances. Are you proud of me? Are you missing me as much as I am missing you?

Letter Six - DK

My Sweet,

Loneliness is when you are trapped by your stillness while everything around you splits into two and crumbles. And you are stuck in the open space of where everything once was, you in your bubble of muteness as the world crashes and breaks in a cacophonous roar. The feeling that engulfed me during these past few months was beyond my description of loneliness. So with a happy heart, I am telling you that the war is over. I’m coming home soon to hold you in my arms, to show you what this world that surrounds you is truly like — delicate and with the warmth of a glowing morning Sun that promises juvenescent Springs until the end of time. 

Regarding your question about the potential winner of the sensory game you described in your last letter, whether I am the person exploring or explored, I know I would always be the victor as only a true victor can call you “his.” My sweet love, I hope to stick by your side as long as I prefer honey in my tea and you by my side when I sleep. 

However, with a slightly interruptive transition, I have a few requests regarding the contents of your postscript. That is:

One, I am wholly and with every fiber of my mind, soul, and body proud of you. You, my shyest lover who sought friendship in your moments of loneliness, I love you so. Yet I find myself utterly in distress that I cannot co-host our tea parties until later should you hold one in a few days. Our estate is boring, and it must be tiring seeing the same things and people every day for the past few months. I urge you to go out more and explore so I can come home to plentiful stories told in your voice. I want to fall asleep to your descriptions so I can dream of how you see the world around you. 

Two, of course, I am missing you. Even if I were a few yards away from you, I would still miss you. I am currently bothering our treasurer in regards to spending the rest of our budget on a winter wonderland in which we would freeze the entire world so I could easily and quickly sled back home like a seal off an iceberg. However, our treasurer is insistent on saving the budget for lodging, travel, and sustenance. I, for one, think I am right.

Three, I think this might be my last letter in a while as when this stack of parchments finally reaches you, I would almost be home. So I am struggling between keeping this short and straight to the point or long and thoroughly eloquent with everything that I want to write and say to you. Instead of coming to a conclusion by myself, I bid you farewell until we meet again with this set of instructions within my set of requests for you. I’m sorry if the format of my letter makes it very hard for you to read. Like how you described your delusions, I often find myself alone at night imagining you by my side so much that I feel your physical presence next to me. 

Four, as for our portrait in our dining room, I must ask you to perform a favor for me as I have not seen the finished painting myself. It is a test regarding the “likeness” of our portraits that can only be performed by yourself. When you wish to perform the test before I arrive, please excuse all our staff who stay by your side during dinner and ask to eat alone. Should they give you looks, please say that it was requested by me. 

When you are alone, I need you to get into a position in which you can look at yourself through the large mirror that is mounted above the low mantle towards the end of the dining room table. I assume our portrait is hung on the wall at the other side of the dining room table, am I right? If you move the plates and sit on the table, you should be able to look at both your entire body and our portrait through the mirror. Do not worry about making a mess my dear. 

Perhaps this test may be a little lewd for a dinner setting. But after your proposed rendezvous in the kitchen in your last letter, I suppose this test would be nothing to you. 

Look at yourself in the mirror. Can you imagine me behind you, slowly kissing down your neck as I undress you while the candlelights flicker beside us? Our shadows cast against the walls that surround us tell the story of two lovers slowly conjoining into one. And I sit you against the front of my naked body, bending your legs and positioning them so you can see all of you through the mirror.

My love, can you see your lips unfold into a beautiful bloom, leaking with its sweet nectar for your man to taste? The sweet nectar, the glistening substitute to the honey our staff brought alongside our dinner rolls, rolls off the flower and soaks the tablecloth beneath you. Tonight I am not doing anything except revel in your beauty like a man awestruck by something so exquisite that he cannot do anything but stare. 

I want you to imagine that the same me in the portrait is the me you imagine to be behind you, the very me who writes this letter and instructs you on how to pleasure yourself for the night. Suck on your own fingers, my darling. Bring your fingers to your lips, and let me see the way you ready yourself before the pleasure comes. Because what I want is for you to fuck yourself well for me so that after you’ve squirted all over the dining table your pussy continues to throb so much that you confuse it for your beating heart. 

Don’t be shy. Bring your soaked fingers to your folds, and trace along the lines of the petals. Look at how they seemingly open and close as your stomach jerks in reaction. Slowly rub yourself up and down, coaxing that beautiful sigh that I know too well out of your mouth. Feel the pads of your finger mix with your juices, slipping easily and making your hand glide smoother. 

Are you looking at me through the mirror? Are you begging me to instruct you in other ways to satisfy your lust? Do you want to rub your pearl and flick it with your finger in a way that makes you clench and collapse? 

What is it, honey? Are you whining for me to make you feel good? But this is your guided session. Don’t you see yourself through the mirror, so pathetic looking that you would do anything that I tell you to do? Then take that same hand you used to tease yourself and slap your pussy for me. Bring the hand back and bring it down on your pussy quickly and with so much might that the sound of palm against tender skin echoes throughout the empty dining room. 

Don’t you feel pathetic? Getting off from you slapping your own pussy? Doesn’t it please you and make feel so dirty at the same time? When you’re striking your palm against your pussy over and over as your other hand unconsciously reaches upwards to knead your sore nipple, are you looking at yourself through the mirror? Are you still imagining me sitting behind you on our dining table, whispering and taunting you as you attempt to come undone? If your head is not completely clouded with lust, when that pussy is throbbing with such pain and pleasure, you will take your finger to your entrance and insert it slowly so you feel your warm and wet insides slowly swallow your finger the further in it goes. 

Let your mouth hang open as you plug yourself with another finger. Fill the lonely dining room with your sweet moans for me. Listen to your kitten squelch and leak the more you pump yourself so that a warm and hot feeling grows in your stomach, making you clench your body tighter and tighter. Scissor your fingers, and fill up that empty space where my cock usually rests. When you release, pull out your fingers as you come on the tablecloth and look at the cream I miss the most. 

You’re so perfect, you know that? You’d look even more perfect when you’re on your knees with your fingers underneath you and inside of you. Bounce for me my sweet, ride your own fingers as if you’re riding me. Massage yourself with your other hand, grabbing and kneading your breasts and your nipples as I do for you. Can you see yourself through the mirror more clearly when you’re in this position? Do you see how messy and needy you look while you’re pathetically riding your own fingers? Do you wish they were mine? Do you wish they were my thighs? 

Open your eyes for me as you reach another wave of ecstasy. Look at me in the eyes, the man painted next to your glowing figure as you reach your last high. I know you can do it. Scream my name if you love me, and squirt as if your pussy was crying for the man you love. 

Turn your head around when you’ve caught your breath. Look at our portrait. Do you see how I’m smiling at you? 

I’m proud of you, my love. Thank you for holding on for so long. I’ll be home soon. 

P.S. I love you.

Copyright © 2023 Himbocoups. All rights reserved.

[livesworthlivingau]

Lives Worth Living Chapter 24

ISAT/Two Hats spoilers below! CW: Negative self talk.

"I... I heard you had a bit of an... 'episode'?" (Loo-... Vale asked, looking to you with a nervous glance. You finish pouring their cup of tea as they sat at the table, pausing for a second while looking away.)

"Y-Yeah... I... I found your star..." (You say, looking down at their chest, seeing a bit of that scar through their clothes. They bring a hand up to place over it, lowering their head a little.)

"... I'm sorry to have caused you so much worry." (You sit down across from them, staying silent for a moment before finally forcing some words out.)

"What happened?"

"... I made a wish... I wished for a life of my own, so you could keep yours and I wouldn't need to steal it from you... Of course the Universe couldn't just give me what I wanted without having a little fun first though, so it sent the star in my chest supernova~!" (They begin to explain with that oh so familiar smile plastered on their face... Despite them looking so different, you'd still recognize it anywhere.)

"So I had to tear it out of my chest... It hurt worse than anything I've felt before, even worse than swallowing it and feeling it burn out my insides... I did die for a moment there I think, if Nille hadn't been there it might have stuck." (They note with a playful smile, finally lifting their tea to sip it.)

"N-Nille?!" (You weakly shout, not having expected to hear her name during all of this.)

"Oh! Yes, I forgot to mention that, didn't I? After I... well.." (They fall silent for a moment, looking to you then away again... You lightly place a hand over your heart for just a moment, you both knew what they were referring to...)

"After that, I ran and ran and ran... And ran straight into Nille... Heh... Imagine that, running from my problems, only to run right into the person you all were looking for..." (You lower your head a little, unsure how to respond to that. They seem to notice this.)

"Sorry... These are my problems, not yours. Regardless, we started travelling together, and she's been helping me... figure myself out, I suppose? Where I fit in this universe now that there's no going back..."

"L-Loop-" (They wince heavily at being called that, you quickly cover your mouth with your hand.)

"S-Sorry... Vale, I... You'll always be welcome here." (You offer, you know the gesture probably won't mean anything, but it's the truth, and they need to know that.)

"... I don't think the others will feel that way when they learn what I did to you..." (You both fall silent for a while after that. They were right, your family loved you too much to just let that slide... but did they have to know?... Could you keep lying to them forever?...)

"Stop, Stardust... I know that look..." (You perk up, looking back over at them... you forgot how bad you got at hiding your 'thinking' faces over the years.)

"It has to come out, they deserve to know... and I deserve whatever punishment that brings..." (You pause for a moment, gathering your thoughts, trying to find some sort of solution to this. You look back at L-Vale, come on, get that into your head, VALE! VALE! VALE! They look really distressed about this. You lay your hand on the table, offering it for them to take. They blink a bit, looking back up at you, then your hand again, hesitantly bringing theirs up to lay onto it. You give theirs a firm, comforting squeeze.)

"I thought I'd lost you... twice now... I won't let a third time happen." (You say, as confident as you can through your raspy voice. They give a slight smile in response, squeezing your hand back.)

"Thank you, Stardust... I'll do my best to make things work this time..."

(You both sit in silence yet again, occasionally sipping your teas, it was a bit more of a comfortable quiet now as you were just glad to have them back.)

"So what happened to your voice?"

"... Do you remember when I said the island's name?" (They suddenly choke on their tea, coughing and struggling for air as it went down the wrong pipe.)

"Stardust?!" (They shriek with worry. You wince some, shrinking into your seat a bit again.)

"Long story... Really bad nightmare after losing you..." (You try to explain succinctly, They seem especially worried about the mention of a nightmare, furrowing your brow and tilting your head a bit.)

"What?"

"... What?"

"Why do you... did something happen?"

"N-No? Whatever do you mean?" (They stammer out, quickly bringing their fake smile back... You sigh a bit, but drop it for now.)

"So, you've been travelling with Nille?"

"Yes, she's really quite something else." (They chuckle a bit, a soft smile on their face now.)

"Yeah she is... she got me out of a few bad spirals..."

"Oh, right, she would have been there for all that time, wouldn't she?..." (Vale brought a hand up to the back of their neck, rubbing it lightly, seeming to be nervous about what they were going to ask.)

"... Was she happy?"

"Huh?"

"During that time... was she happy?... Did she have a good life with you all?..." (They looked back down at their cup, staring into the tea for a minute, you were a bit stunned, unsure what to even say to that until they look up back up at you expectantly.)

"... Y-Yeah?... Sorry, did you mean something specific or?"

"... Tell me about it, please?" (The look on their face almost looked... desperate?)

"O-Okay... Uhhh... Her and Bonnie opened a lil restaurant in Bambouche eventually? Her and Isa hang out a lot, they've got a lot in common actually." (You say with a bit of a chuckle, sipping at your tea to help soothe your still sore throat. You peek back over at Vale, who was looking away nervously... a light blush across their face...)

"V-Vale?..." (They jump back to attention, quickly shaking the look and blush away.)

"Yes~?"

"... D... Do you..." (You blink a couple times, trying to piece things out before the realization finally hits you like a boulder.)

"YOU AND NILLE?!"

"Wh-What?! Wh-What about us?!"

"YOU LIKE NILLE?!"

"TH-THAT'S PROPOSTEROUS!!"

"Oh that's so cute!! You two would be so good together!!"

"Sh-Shut up! Th-That's just ridiculous!!"

"Then why are you blushing so much~?" (You grin wide, their face nearly lightless from how deep the blush was. They looked furious, about to yell, only for your comment to completely shut them up, crossing their arms with a frustrated pout.)

"hehe... She never wound up with anyone by the way... I think she said something about never meeting the right person?"

"... Not like that's changed..."

"Hey..."

"J-Just... just drop it please, Stardust... She's far better than I deserve anyhow..."

"... I'm sure we both thought the same about Isa..."

"... You're the one who earned your happy ending, not me..."

"Vale... Come on, you know that's not fair to you..."

"Just drop it... There's nothing more to discuss..."

"... Does she feel the same?"

"Drop. It."

"Okay! okay!" (You surrender with your hands up and a slight chuckle. Your face falls to rest in a content little smile.)

"I'm really glad you're back, Vale." (They roll their eyes a bit in response, sipping their tea curtly with annoyance, causing you to laugh weakly again.)

[kl125]

I’m a bit tired of the criticism surrounding the Percy Jackson show. Not the fact that criticism exists, because I agree with a lot of what’s being said, but people acting like there’s an intellectual superiority linked to hating the show. This is long, so here’s a “keep reading” for you.

No one said it would be a perfect book to TV adaptation. Even Rick said they would change some stuff, because he was given a chance to go back and reevaluate the original story. Personally, I think Rick’s writing is better suited for books, and doesn’t translate well to a TV show format (referring specifically to his writing for the screenplays), and there’s some jarring pacing issues moving from scene to scene. Not to mention, of the whole series, The Lightning Thief is one of the weaker stories, simply because Rick wrote it early in his career, and he had the chance of slowly improving with each new release. And I agree that simply saying, “Well, Rick approves of this adaptation,” does not excuse it from having flaws.

That being said, I still very much enjoy the show. Walker, Leah, and Aryan are carrying the story fairly well. I like their dynamic, and it gives a new perspective on Percy being an unreliable narrator, seeing as PJO is written in first person, but the show is portrayed in third person. Also, for people saying, “$15 million per episode, but where did it go?” The salaries for the cast and crew, the props, cameras, costumes, makeup, royalties for using certain songs, and some decent CGI, among other things. It adds up more than you think.

Now, if you don’t like the show, that’s fine. If you want to voice your criticisms, that’s fine. But please don’t act like your opinion is the only one that matters, and that anyone who actually enjoys the show is dumb or blind to the problems. People can enjoy things just…because. For me, there are MANY things I like which have TONS of evident problems, but those problems aren’t enough for me to give it up.

Also, “show don’t tell” is a good philosophy to have when telling a story, but we need to remember that this first season has to do a LOT of heavy lifting exposition wise. It has to cover a number of Greek mythology stories and character backstories, and weave them into the plot, in a relatively short amount of time. Yes, we have the benefit of eight episodes, but even then, there’s not enough time to dive deep into ALL of the intricacies of mythology and backstories. I think the episodes could stand to be a bit longer, and I think some scenes need have more breathing room so that the audience has more time to process what’s happening. As for why Percy seems to know everything, it’s stated multiple times outright that Sally told him the Greek mythology stories. They are ingrained in his brain, and Percy is very smart and quick.

Finally, there are a NUMBER of shows that had a pretty disappointing first season, but went on to improve with each new season. We should treat these criticisms as suggestions for improvement, instead of completely writing off the show. It’s not perfect, and that’s to be expected, but it’s still so early. We need to give shows time to grow and improve.

Anyway, if you’ve read all this and still hate the show, that’s fine. No one is stopping you. I fully respect that opinion, and I’m not here to change that. I just think there are more constructive ways of handling things like this than going on TikTok and being like, “Hot take, but the Percy Jackson show is actually garbage.” It’s about open conversation and constructive criticism and the hope that things will improve with time.

P.S. The irony of me writing this whole post portraying myself as intellectually superior is not lost on me. Everybody is entitled to their own opinions, I just hope we can be more productive when sharing them. That’s all.

P.P.S. If you really don’t like the show, and you think it’s objectively terrible, then don’t watch it. No one is forcing you to keep up with it each week.

[hannahssimblr]

“Clóda,” one stone. 

“Clóda,” another. 

“Fuck sake,” I murmur to myself, then throw a third, bigger one, which smacks off her window so loudly that I’m briefly paralysed with fear that it has broken the glass. Thankfully it hasn’t. She comes out onto the balcony.

“There you are,” she says quietly, peering down at me in her garden as I drop my handful of stones and wipe the dirt on my thighs. 

“Yeah, here I am. This is a bit Shakespearean isn’t it?” 

“Huh?”

“Like, you know, 'but soft, what light through yonder window breaks…. Defy thy father, refuse thy name', et cetera,” I pause before clarifying, “Romeo and Juliet, no?”

“Oh, I did The Merchant of Venice for my Junior Cert.”

“I thought you’d have still gotten the reference.”

She leans over the balcony to point to a precarious looking trellis against the wall, “If you climb up that thing you’ll be able to reach me.”

“Right,” I say, and press my foot against the flimsy timber to test my weight, “You know I’m like, nearly thirteen stone?” 

“You can try.”

“And if I break it?”

“Hmm, try not to,” she suggests. 

“Right,” I brace myself by slotting my fingers into a gap between some brick facade on the side of the house and I haul myself onto the trellis, and it groans but doesn’t give. “I’m good, I think I’m good.”

From there it’s not so bad. I nimbly move up the wall, grab hold of the sun room gutters and grab a hold of the balcony railings, where I find myself thrilled in the way a child is, having climbed somewhere he is not supposed to climb, the king of the castle overlooking his vast land, though I can’t really see much in the dark countryside, save a few car headlights in the distance, the lighthouse flashing over the bay. 

“Um, here,” Clóda hisses, and I realise I have briefly forgotten my objective, but the rest is easy, I just swing myself over the railing and I’m up. 

“Nice that you’ve a balcony,” I comment, “I don't know many other people who have one of these.”

“We built this house a few years ago, and for some reason I wanted a balcony in my room, I don’t know, I was like, ten, and it was a stupid idea because it’s mostly too cold out here to even make use of.” 

“Useful now though, huh?” 

She tucks her hair behind her ears and bats her eyelashes at me, “yeah I suppose it is.”

She pushes the door open and we creep into her room where the only light is from the glow of the television screen in the corner. It’s clean, very clean with no clutter or clothes lying around, which always freaks me out for reasons that I cannot explain. The idea that a person would have the interest or discipline to keep their bedroom clean is odd. If a person's bedroom is a mirror to the inside of their mind, then the lack of chaos in hers is foreign and unrelatable. 

While she switches on a pink fringed bedside light I throw myself down on the neatly tucked duvet just so that I can mess it up a little bit, to mark my territory like some kind of wild dog let loose in a palace. I peer at her CD collection and mess that up too by pulling one out and showing it to her, “Jesse McCartney, huh? You a fan?”

She goes pink and grabs it out of my hand, “Yeah I used to be, I dunno, not so much anymore, I don’t know why I still have that.”

I grab another, “Who are the Jonas Brothers?” 

“Oh, they’re-”

“That guy in the middle has a pretty wild haircut, would you fancy me with that?”

“No,” she giggles and takes that CD off me too, then slots them carefully back where they were, “I have some silly stuff, I probably shouldn’t have it all out.”

“Nah, well, look, you have some great stuff here, how ‘bout this? Black Holes and Revelations? I love this album, you know I saw Muse live last year.”

The mattress sinks as she sits next to me, “Really? Was it when they came to Ireland?”

“Nah it was in the states.”

Her eyes flash with intrigue, “like, America?”

“Mm, yeah.”

“That’s so cool.”

“Is it?”

“Yeah, that you just, like, go to America and stuff. I don’t know anybody who’s gone to America yet, and I want to go so badly.”

I shrug, “well you should, then.”

“How often do you go?”

“Not often, I was there last year and then before that…” I try to remember, “I think I was maybe twelve. It takes a long time to get to where I’m going, you know, from here you can only get to New York and then you have to get a connecting flight and all of that,” thinking about the ordeal of it exhausts me, but Clóda is leaning forward in fascination, as hearing the words ‘New York’ come out of my mouth has sent a thrill through her. 

“What do you go for?”

“Just to visit family and stuff.”

“You’ve family there?”

“Of course, did you not know that my dad is American?”

She frowns, “Well you sound a little bit American but I thought… I don’t know, really, I thought you were putting it on or something.”

“What, like, for attention?”

“I don’t know,” she shakes her head, impatient, “where do you go?”

“Well… I’ve some family in California and some in New Mexico, which is like, a state in the southwest, kinda wedged between Texas and California, if you can imagine that on a map,” I leave out poor Arizona just to make it easier on her, because nobody here knows what the hell a New Mexico, (‘no, no not Mexico, New Mexico’) is so it’s best to keep it concise. 

Clóda is nodding vigorously, “California, like, LA.”

“Kind of. Like, my dad comes from a place called San Bernardino, which is-” I take her wrist and trace a line on the soft skin of her inner arm, “-to the east of LA, say, an hour or two away, depending on the traffic, yeah? And then his family, like his aunts and uncles and their parents, who we used to visit sometimes, they’re living in a place way up north,” I run a gentle trail all the way up to the sleeve of her t-shirt, “to the very tip top of the Sacramento valley in this rugged, gold rush town…” I lift my eyes to her and she’s staring at my hand, following the motion of my finger as I skim the tip of it over her shoulder and across the taut skin of her collarbone. I prepare myself to say more sexy things about the Sacramento river and the rolling hills and the central valley and whatever else I usually bang on about whenever someone asks, but she looks into my eyes and says: “Is there an Abercrombie where you go?”

“Huh?”

“Abercrombie and Fitch.”

I frown, “Yeah?”

“Oh, wow.” She pushes me onto my back and lays on top of me, gazing down at me with fervid glitter in her eyes, “If you go back to America this year, could you buy me something from there?”

I search in her eyes for some sign that she’s joking and determine that she isn’t. She really wants me to do that. “Yep, sure,” I say.

“Ah, that’d be amazing. You know the way they have those bags too? The ones with the black and white pictures of the guys' bodies on them? Well there was a girl in my class who…”

And I zone out and I stop listening to her as she talks about laminating the bags and carrying school books in them, and I wonder if she will even notice the glazed over look in my eyes as I let my eyes unfocus and stare into the middle distance between her and her pastel pink walls and ask myself some serious questions. 

Do I like her?

She’s pretty though.

Sure, she’s pretty but is she fun? 

She likes Muse.

She’s not even very nice though, is she? She’s said a few weird things in the past.

Yeah but I’ve had sex with her now.

I can’t really stop talking to her or anything, can I? That’d mean I’m a dickhead. 

But would I rather be a dickhead or be miserable?

Maybe both outcomes will make me miserable. Maybe I’m just pre-programmed to be a miserable person. Or am I just cursed?

I zone back in for a moment, “...and then Mr. Brennan confiscated all of them, and there was this whole thing where the parents council…” What is happening? 

“Uh huh,” I say, “Uh huh… uh huh, what? That’s crazy,” God she is really pretty though, the kind of pretty that’s hard to find, and it’s not like there’s anyone else around, is there? It’d be awkward to stop seeing each other now with two whole weeks left of the summer. 

Beginning // Prev // Next

[cosmerelists]

Who is the In-Universe Audience for Tress?

[Spoilers for Tress of the Emerald Sea!!]

This list is dedicated to the person at the DragonCon Tress panel who asked this question of the panelists and did NOT receive a good answer (or really any answer at all), in my opinion. So for you, friend, I went ahead and reread Tress and tried to collect all of the evidence about the identity of the audience that Hoid is telling the story to. Has this already been done on Reddit or other forums? Undoubtedly yes but I just wanted to see what I could discover on my own. Here are my findings!

My theory: Hoid is telling the story to a group of apprentice storytellers on the planet First of Sun. Some Rosharans are also present...or maybe just Sigzil. Allow me to explain each part of my answer!

1. Hoid is telling the story (but to an audience who also knows him as Wit)

This we know because he literally identifies himself as Hoid the cabin boy...but he also makes a couple of Wit-related puns, including:

"And with it went my sense of humor, my sense of decorum, and my sense of self. The last one stung the most, since it appears my sense of self is tied directly to my wit. I mean, it's in the name."

"Everyone can use a little more Wit in their lives."

This suggests the audience knows him both as Hoid and as Wit. More on that later!

2. The setting: First of Sun

Wherever the story is being told, it's a place with oceans made of water that have sea creatures (these things must be specified in a Cosmere setting). Hoid often alludes to the audience's familiarity with ships, including:

"Now, I know that on your planet, steering a ship isn't that big a deal."

"I know that sailors fear storms on your planet. It's common among almost all seafaring cultures I've met."

"As I've mentioned, on your planet, you may be accustomed to the helm position on the ship being relatively unimportant."

"But you come from a world where things live in the water."

That it is specifically the First of Sun is suggested by two quotes in particular:

"I can understand why you would want tales of people like Linji, who tried to sail around the world with no Aviar."

"Yes, like the speaking minds inhabiting the ships you've seen landing on your planet."

Aviars are native to First of Sun, and we learn in Sixth of the Dusk that space ships have visited that world.

3. The audience is a group of people

This actually came as a huge shock to me, as it's only revealed near the end, as far as I know. Hoid suddenly says:

"A sailing ship is a strange thing to control--I'm sure some of you know."

Some of you! Some of you?! So the audience is not a single person, but a group of people.

4. But there are also people from Roshar present...or maybe just Sigzil

Now, this may be controversial. But it seems possible that the audience also includes off-worlders, from Roshar and maybe from Scadrial as well. Certain references certainly suggest a Rosharan frame of mind:

First, there is the fact that they know him as Wit, which is Hoid's Rosharan incarnation

Second, there is this line: "Well, now that is a gemstone that truly glitters, friend." Perhaps there are big glittery gemstones on First of Sun too, but that sure seems like a Rosharan idiom.

Third, there is this line: "I assume you have no idea what a Luhel bond is....Unlike the Nahel bond, which trades in consciousness and anchoring to realty, the Luhel bond trades in physical matter." The Nahel bond is how surgebinding works on Roshar, and Hoid assumes the audience knows what that is.

It's possible that only Sigzil is present, and that Hoid keeps making asides to him, which would be pretty cute, to be honest.

5. Maybe Scadrial is represented too??

As for Scadrial, well...there's just the fact that Hoid calls himself a Worldbringer:

"Worldbringers like myself spend decades combing through folk tales, legends, myths, histories, and drunken bar songs looking for the most unique stories."

"Worldbringer" is a Scadrian term; the Rosharan equivalent would be "Worldsinger." This might not mean anything about who's present--perhaps Hoid is spreading the notion of Worldbringers to other planets like First of Sun. But I wanted to raise it as an interesting possibility.

6. The audience is comprised of apprentice storytellers

It becomes clear at the end that the people Hoid is talking to want to learn to be paid for telling stories:

"With a few tips, he wasn't so boring after all. Secretly, I'll tell you that you aren't either. Anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to lower your value. Don't trust them. They know they can't afford you otherwise."

This suggests that his audience want to learn to not be boring and to be paid to tell stories--so apprentices then, perhaps. Hoid also indicates that this audience knows him, and are not just a random crowd he gathered for the occasion:

"It's called the transitive property of ineptitude, and it's the explanation for anything you've seen me do wrong ever."

Hoid refers to other planets casually, suggesting an audience that wants to learn about other cultures and places, another key aspect of being a Hoid-style storyteller:

"Compared, for example, to the depth of the Lilting Abyss on Threnody, the spore seas are practically ponds."

So! That's my theory: Hoid is using the Tress tale to train a group of would-be apprentice storytellers on First of Sun, and maybe Sigzil or other Rosharans are there too.

What do you think??

[who1ssheesh]

If you're still doing it I can't wait to see the prompt with squalos s/o being buds with Xanxus 😂

Squalo's S/O being buds with Xanxus

Pairings: Squalo/Reader, Xanxus/Reader (PLATONIC)

Notes: yes. absolutely. i live for those two idiots. This one is long af compared to Xanxus' one and I can't explain why. But I had so much fun with this, Xanxus is a soulmate in a bro-ish way????

Warnings: good ol swearing, brief mentions of sex (not much really), probably OOC and terrible english (ur not my teacher ha ha)

• First of all, holy shit that’s impressive?

• Second of all, must be mentioned that Xanxus kinda….doesn't see women as friends? He looks at them sexually right away. Or so he thought

• Third of all, Squalo gotta be terrified

• Fourth of all (that's a lot of counting) Squalo situation is not having any drama as Xanxus' does, he is a pure comedy gold and so is his relationship with you. That's what no daddy issues does to you, but what do i know

• Not comedy as if a clown comedy, but a good harsh bri'ish comedy - insert Utopia reference. Squalo is more than confident in you since you obviously date for some time for him to move in with you and therefore reveal you to his boss.

• I'll tell you a secret btw, Xanxus probably guessed he has you because Squalo is a loser cuck and started to act differently.

• I think Xanxus doesn’t give a shit enough to just bust into Squalo’s apartment for any stupid reason as if it’s his own. So if you at least haven’t heard of him as your boyfriend’s boss, you’re going to meet him in person

• Xanxus coming up and breaking your door just to nap:

🧍

• Squalo never told Xanxus where he lives, that bitch just knows

• Never in his life Xanxus expected to see one day a shmoll girl there and not hear screaming at the top of one’s lungs. He still says Squalo is a fucking virgin loser femboy ugly ass haha lol lmao, he can’t be deprived of those shitty jokes…

• I mean it, Xanxus can get pissed seeing you too being lovey-dovey but I'll expand this drama later

• Xanxus is basically your adopted stray cat, deal with it

• Squalo won't say this out loud or says this very...covertly and probably insults you along the way, but anyways he really appreciate you dealing with all that bullshit. He does indeed value strong character - you don't need to wield a big sword or shoot a gun, but going through his path even though you can be confused or scared means much. He knows a lot of cowards who can shoot a gun, so...Squalo looks much deeper than that. Shark, ocean, DEEP, get it<<<<<<</////??????? I'll see myself out.

• He is lowkey terrified but...also chill? Unlike Xanxus, he doesn't overthink (at least not much). He of course draws a line at some things - at first Squalo was really mad at his boss staying...alone....with you....at you house (he is jealous) cause Xanxus is immoral bitch and would try to fuck you if he wants to.

• Also is you start gossiping or making fun of him with Xanxus, holy shit Squalo is quick to start raging. It's one thing to gossip and laughing at some bud, but doing so about your partner is a huge red flag for him. If you have any problems. come straight to Squalo he is an adult and prefers just discussing problems.

• Well, Xanxus also will certainly not respect you for trying to spill out your bullshit on him and talking shit about his captain. He has standards. (And not because he is a little uwu girl and actually deep DEEP like ocean bottom deep cares about Squalo)

• “The fuck happened here?”, Squalo is on edge, to say the least, seeing stains of blood around the apartment and you cleaning it with a clearly annoyed expression

“So your boss-“

“My boss?!”

“-got over again”

“AGAIN???”

• So, the situation: Squalo, as a person who values trust in relationship the most, is really pissed (sad….) you’re keeping the truth away from him, and you, thinking he’s aware his boss is chilling around since…..well, Superbia is his right hand, makes sense?

• You didn’t know about their burning hate for each other. Gotta be jealous, his love to you will never be as true, fiery and emotional as his undying HATE!!!! for Xanxus

• You screaming “get a fucking room, deepshits” when they start arguing again

• You probably got Xanxus with an insult. Obviously. Sorry, you’ve signed a pact, nothing in your life will be normal again, just like your boyfriend (he’s a little unstable. Just a little)

• Xanxus haven’t been around your house for long - leaving more work for Superbia and leaving right after, quickly patching a quick wound and stealing alcohol, of course

• You’ve been quieter than a mouse, thinking you shouldn’t be involved in Squalo’s business, but one day Xanxus was noticeably not feeling good, ready to pass out, so…you helped him obviously

• Xanxus being Xanxus didn’t thank you, got pissed because air was too warm for his liking or smth and was whining that actually you did a poor job tending his wound

• “Bitch, I will kill you in your sleep?” sent him away, he honestly found this hilarious (we’re talking about your audacity here)

• You got a chuckle out of him, whick you didn't think about much at first, but a Squalo's shocked expression said everything. You can be proud

• Lowkey Xanxus doesn't separate you two together in his mind, you both are a one Superbia homunculus in his mind. Maybe that's why Xanxus with Squalo's s/o feels so....included for all three of you compared to other way around lol

• Even your jokes are on the same line istg

• Xanxus feels even...bittersweet.

• He is...kinda cautious? He knows Squalo is capable of getting out from the devil himself (remember how may times he "died" in manga lol), but you...well...he double checks every visit. Xanxus is very brutal and, unbothered and nonchalant but very smart. Makes sure no one is on his tail.

• Don't get me wrong, it's not in a sweet family way, but you kinda start having dinners together? Both are bitching around but you notice in the end they start having a human conversation instead of their regular unga-bunga

• Xanxus likes this

• Xanxus feels home

• Unlike Squalo, he can't show his devotion to save his life, so you just know there is a "useful friend of a friend that can solve some problems with a call". But I'll tell you, Xanxus will double-check if something is serious, not just throw problems as subordinates.

• Mafia is not flowers and sunshine. Those two have had a conversation "what to do if Squalo dies". Xanxus probably threw a glass at him and said to not be an idiot, but he didn't say no. You're the first person he can call at least an acquaintance, so...

• Well, that counts when we talk about older Xanxus, I'm sure he is mellowed out by that time (+ just enough time for you and Squalo to establish your relationship)

• He's not the type to get over at 2am if there's a problem lol. Maybe he can miss a call cause he's a heavy sleeper. But if anything, you have his subordinates at your place.

• He will teach you to drink. Will laugh his ass off when you fail to beat his ass at drinking competition again and Squalo is having a heart stroke on the background

• Xanxus will turn you in a copy of himself just to piss ofs Squalo lol

• You learning his mood by the intonation he says 'trash'

• Also you calling him janitor or sum in return. Varia horrified you dare to do this, and Xanxus laughing. He still shoots your way though...

• If you're not Italian, you MUST teach him swearing on your native language. Also tell him if there is any local alcohol (of course)

• "Yeah, I teached him coupla words", you laugh, looking obviously happy being a useful friend and having a surprisingly cozy chat with Xanxus.

Squalo is very confused by that. "What the fuck, but he DOES know this language already?"

• I'm sorry but so many sex jokes. Xanxus doesn't give a shit what you do there in the bedroom (until you invite him over ahaha joke unless), but he's going to be a little shit

• Xanxus is 12 yo btw.

• "Can you suck him off so he shuts the fuck up or smth?"

• LITERALLY LOOKING AT SQUALO "NO BITCHES????"

• This idiot fools around sometimes and throws 9-yo-school-bully insults lol

• "He said he wants to marry /insert random woman name/ when he grows up". 25+ y/o Squalo looking at him just:

🧍

• I hope you two have a cat. Xanxus will feed it. Raw meat and everything a fluffy boy shouldn't but it's Xanxus we're talking about. Literally a teenage edgy teen "ITS NOT A PHASE MOM" at your house.

• Naps on your bed ONLY to leave hiss smell of tabaco, whiskey and a heavy cologne. He 100% heehaws thinking about this - Squalo will NEVER be able to have sex if there is reminding him of Xanxus, like an instant turn off. You always try to complain to Xanxus about this absurd situation but start laughing to the point of crying, Xanxus becomes HYSTERICAL at these moments.

• He will teach you how to shoot. Usually he just drinks there and says you're pathetic while you try. But he keeps inviting you himself, so....Xanxus is a little sappy shit. You only use Squalo's photos as a target, so you get sad a bit and probably tell your boyfriend afterwards. He will say he wants to kill you both or smth.

• Xanxus bringing you ideas in your bed. "Hey so you can tie him up and beat to death as a foreplay".

• He will make you rank up bodies of other women he finds hot. Also if you're a girls' girl, Xanxus will ruin this completely. Basically like "just by looking at her tell be if she's a bitch"

• Xanxus enjoys if you talk shit about someone cause he is the same way.

• He will drag you into his shitty gang ideas. If Squalo could go gray-headed again, he would.

• Squalo looking at you both beaten up anf almost getting caught by the police: "why are you like this."

• To be honest, you may be having a serious talk with your man. Squalo is unironically worried, he did a LOT to keep you away from mafia but here you are. If you are very good at convincing (20 CHA lol), he can just a little bit become convinced that you getting hardened can be useful for mafia life "just in case".

• Also MAYBE he can notice the influence Xanxus has on you. Feminine clothes change to leather jackets and grunge, your knuckles even being bloody way too often, you may be smoking more frequently. Squalo is kind of chill with you finding you identity, but if you start wearing feathers in your hair HE LOOSES HIS MIND

• Xanxus will personally train you, if you ever discover your flame. They will have a fight about this with Squalo.

• Xanxus is proud of you tho. One day he will say this, I'm sure

• People know your bond, they know he does appreciate your opinion even in Varia business, and even anything happened he knows Varia is in the right hand - Squalo is more than competent and there is a little angry copy of himself so Xanxus' spirit always haunts Vongola till the end of time. hehe

• You are a badass little sis. He has never had a family, but that...feels nice.

[formulafics]

Hi there! I just wanted to come on here and say firstly I love your fics so much like they are amazingly good and also wanted to say keep up the good work :)

And secondly what tips would you give someone who wants to make their own smau?

And I hope you are having a good day/night ❤️❤️

A fic writers guide to figuring out how to create your own smau’s, and not lose your mind doing it!

A/N: Hi! Thank you so much, I appreciate it 🥹🫶🏻 Also, i’m sorry it’s taken me a while to answer you! <3 Since I get asked this quite a bit, I went ahead and made an ‘official’ post for it. You can ask any other questions in the comment, or through my ask box!

First and foremost, I’ve made a few posts about this, and as I always say, i’m still figuring it out myself, so take this advice lightly, as you may not agree with all of it as you make your own works! This is solely from my experiences as someone who’s been writing and making fanfictions for at least 4 years.

✎ ✐ CREATING SMAU’S 📱

This account is the first account i’ve made Social Media au’s on! Therefore, i’ve only been doing these for a little over 4 months.

My first tip is to play around with your layout! When you read smau’s, i’m sure you notice that almost every fic has a different look. There’s no right or wrong way to do it, just mess with it until you find what you like!

My second tip is to use whatever app your creating in the fic as reference. What I mean is, even though I do not use twitter, I have it downloaded so I can look at tweets and the responses, in an attempt to mirror that in my works! Same goes for instagram, and any other social media app you use! I also use the profile pictures that the drivers have by looking at their pages, as well as what other drivers/celebs like their posts.

Add on to the second tip: While I suggest doing that, It is up to you! Youre creating a fictional story and if you’d rather take the likes and responses into your own hands, that’s okay! That’s a part of learning what you like, but I added it as it’s something that I personally find incredibly helpful at times.

My third tip, and possibly my most important one is to have. a. layout. Fanfictions, for me, are so much easier to create when I take the time to lay it all out! You can either make a draft on Tumblr or use your notes app to just make bullet points of the order your story should go. It doesn’t have to be perfect, but it’s genuinely so helpful in allowing you to keep track of your story, as well as not missing any of the points you want in your fic! I find that if I make a smau without a layout, there are often small mistakes that I only notice after it’s posted, and while it’s not that bad, It’s still much more satisfying to not have those mistakes.

My fourth tip is working smarter not harder. That’s not to say that if you don’t use these things, you’re not smart - in fact, to any smau creators that edit everything themselves instead of using a generator, mad props to you. However, if you’re interested in the generator, I use it for my twitter posts! I also added some other apps I use when creating my fics.

⌕ TWITTER GENERATOR LINK

-> used to create my twitter threads

⌕ COPY AND PAST SYMBOLS

-> symbols used in my fics, and to decorate my blog!

my symbol archive: © ★ ❀ ⋆ ⤷ ⤻ ⌕ ⌇ ⌗ ✎ ✐

⌕ PICSART

-> used to crop pictures, add filters to them, as well as the border you see on my tweets! it’s free (with some restrictions if you don’t pay), but still has a good selection of ways to edit.

⌕ PHONTO

-> the best phont app i’ve come across. used to create my header and any pictures you see with words on them, such as the header for this here post!

⌕ CANVA

-> i don’t use this one a ton, mostly because i forget about it, but it’s incredibly helpful for creating magazine esque covers, and i usually would use it for adding an article to my fic!

My fifth tip is to not worry about the length of your smau. It doesn’t matter if your fic is one instagram post or 20 of them, just do what you want to do, and what you enjoy doing!

Other than that, I honestly don’t have many tips! Just take your time, use inspo when needed, and have fun with it. At the end of the day, people just enjoy having more content of their favorite drivers!

✎ ✐ WRITING FANFICTION 💻

While I have yet to write full fanfictions on this account, a majority of my time in the fanfiction universe has been spent writing, so here are some tips for that, if anyone wants them!

1. Take your time: It’s so easy to get into the “I just want this done” mindset, but that is not helpful at all! It’s important to try and remember that there’s no deadline for you to complete your works. Slow and steady wins the race. I once wrote a 15k word fanfiction and it took me over two weeks, and even then, I tried to rush it, and that gave me MAJOR burn out. In fact, after that fic, I deactivated the account I had, and took a long break from something I enjoy, writing.

2. Use inspiration to your advantage: Even if you already have a good plot and layout for your story, it never hurts to find pictures and prompts that you can include. Take the time to understand the overall vibe/concept of your plot, then take to tumblr to try and find some pictures that fit it! This can also help motivate you when you’re feeling writers block.

3. As with the smau’s, have a layout. When I write fics, especially long, in depth pieces, I like to break the plot apart and write in portions, then add it together at the end, rather than one straight shot for the whole thing! I hate when i’m in the middle of a story and realize I completely missed a certain scenario I wanted to have in the fic, or when I forgot to emphasize something.

And those are all of the big tips I have for writing!

✎ ✐ THE MENTAL ASPECT 🧠

While writing and creating fanfiction is fun, and can be a stress reliever, it can also be a stress inducing activity, especially when you run an account doing it. As someone with ADHD, and a chronic overthinker, I have tendencies to stress myself out with a number of things, so here are some tips on avoiding that.

First, remember that this is a hobby. This is supposed to be fun, so if you aren’t having fun, consider stepping back. Try to determine why you’re not enjoying it, and go from there.

“I feel overwhelmed with requests.” Almost anyone who writes fanfiction has likely been here - so, know you aren’t alone. When requests start overwhelming you, I would suggest to close them, then take a break from them! Remember that they are requests, not requirements. If you don’t like an idea or aren’t motivated to write it, do not write it. As much as it can suck to have to deny a request or put it on the back burner, it’s not worth forfeiting something you enjoy.

“I just don’t know how to write/create this” That’s okay! Like almost anything in life, it’s a process of learning. Yes, it’s frustrating, but try to remember that this will probably teach you something that will be helpful in the future! If you do not want to take a break, consider looking at prompts and inspiration for your story. Take the time to reflect on your original plot or idea, and either try to change things, or add things that help your idea come together. Also know that if you’re struggling with ideas, many fic writers are probably willing to help you out! While I can’t speak for everyone, i’m more than happy to help.

“I want to write, but at the same time, I don’t enjoy it that much.” This is a feeling that you either understand or don’t, and it’s a good thing if you don’t, but is completely okay if you do! This is a sign of burnout or writers block, and unfortunately, many of us go through it. Like any other hobby, when you do it for an extended period of time, or hyperfixate on it all the time, you may find that you want to do it, but can’t enjoy it. Time should fix this, but you can also reach out to other writers, or even those who read your work! When this happens, either take a step back to remind yourself why you enjoy writing, or take on a new idea, with no commitment. Just write something that comes to your mind, and hopefully it’ll allow you to unclog your brain. (That sounds kind of mean, but I don’t mean for it to lmao.)

Secondly, if you can have a friend or mutual that will help build on your ideas, that is so incredibly helpful. Even if said person is just there to provide some prompts or pictures when you need it, it’s a life saver. That being said, I know not everyone just has this, so the least I can offer is my own inbox and dms.

Huge shoutout to @renarots. I’m sure by now you guys are used to me mentioning her in my fics, but she truly truly has helped me so so much and I cannot imagine making these fics without them. 🥹❤️ And also they’re one of the best friends i’ve ever had, echo chamber aside.

Lastly, write whatever the fuck you want to write. Fanfiction is a world of its own. There’s room for any and everything. As long as you aren’t being downright offensive and harmful, write whatever it is you’d like to, because there is bound to be a number of people who absolutely cherish your work. That’s part of the beauty of this app.

[physalian]

Hey there!

Working on a new WIP and I challenged myself to try out third person! I'm in the drafting stages but I was curious how you evade 'head hopping' and using the name of your character over and over again to describe action when using third person. I'm so used to first at this point (even in my reading) that third almost feels so disorderly. Hope this makes sense, love your content!

Are you doing third person omniscient or third person limited? TPL is basically first person, just using third person pronouns. Generally, you want to make a new paragraph whenever the topic changes, the subject (person or thing you’re writing doing an action) changes, or someone new starts speaking. That's not a rule, just a guideline. As an example of what you might do, here’s an excerpt from my first chapter where the narrator is male, and he’s traveling with two other men.

—

Heavy thatched panels make up the door, thick as his torso, slathered in mud and covered in frost on the outside. Elias wants to expect daylight, snow so blinding white he’ll have to squint for the first time in his life. He won’t be able to smell fresh air beneath his fur mask or see it in its full might behind his goggles.

When they open, the winds from the blizzard are still blowing, and snow has piled up to his hips. If he stretched out his hand, Elias doubts he’d be able to see his fingertips.

Yarren leads at the front of the tether, booting up with his snowshoes without care for the bitter wind. Elias can’t move, numb already to Lalo securing the tether around his waist. Lalo knocks on his goggles and Elias brings his fist to his forehead. I’m ready.

Courage or no, the freeze sinks its teeth into his soul the moment they leave the cave. Every step feels like there’s stone weights on his ankles and a boulder against his chest buffeting him back. His eyes are open but his goggles frost over as fast as he can scrape it off, led on blindly only with the tether tugging at his hips.

How long or far they walk eludes him. Elias sweats beneath his furs despite the cold, parched and delirious and sore from coiling every muscle in his body. He’s walked further in a single straight line on this trek alone than he has his entire life.

When they do stop, the wind has died down enough that Elias doesn’t have to brace just to stay upright. He scrapes at the frost off his goggles with numb fingers, mask so heavy and thick with it he might as well be breathing through mud.

—

In this snippet, I name the character taking action every time I change the character acting, and use their pronouns in between. Color coded for reference. Elias is the narrator, so I can go through quite a few pronouns before having to use his name again.

If this was a more dialogue-heavy scene between those three men, you'd either have to resort to using all their names more frequently to keep track, or epithets. In my case I'd swap Yarren for "his chief" or "the chief". Try not to get too contrived here by using "black haired boy" or "older man" for example, as it doesn't read very naturally. Even then, try going back and rereading your sentences out loud to figure out where you need to clarify action with a name. There's not some golden ratio for name-to-pronoun and you're better off over-naming than under-naming. Avoiding head-hopping takes some practice. Any time you start describing the thoughts, feelings, and intentions of the non-narrating character, you are head-hopping. You can get away with it by having the narrator observe their behavior and assume thought, feeling, and intent based on their movement, tone, and expression.

Hope this helps!

[red-handed-tamarin]

tam is opening writing REQUESTS (free)

CURRENT QUEUE STATUS: DOING THIS AGAIN BUT QUEUE IS CURRENTLY FULL

These are not commissions, though in some administrative ways they may be treated as such (i.e. a queue with limited slots, attempted adherence to prompts, due dates / limited time turnaround etc.). I will be opening up a queue to write pieces FOR FREE. See below for guidance!

~~

How many slots will be open?

For now I'll be opening three slots at a time. This seems like the most manageable number for me at the moment but could change in the future.

~~

What is the word count limit for requests?

The absolute minimum word count will be 300. The maximum word count offered will likely be 1000, but in general, I'll be shooting for the 500-800 word range.

~~

What kind of requests are you taking?

There are MANY things I'd be very happy to write, so don't feel limited by the will-write list below; anything not specifically blacklisted can be requested, but I reserve the right to turn down any request for any reason at any time.

WILL WRITE:

fanfiction, original fiction, or nonfiction (such as meta)

first, second, or third person

OCs, reader inserts

any non-PWP genre

a variety of formats

most kinks

incest

ao3 categorical archive warnings: rape, underage, graphic violence, character death

WON'T WRITE (BLACKLIST):

real people fiction (rpf) involving anyone who is NOT the requester; I'm willing to write the requester into the story if that is desired

harry potter or any jk rowling content

pure smut (I'm just no good at it)

scat/watersports

woundfucking

MASTERLIST OF MY FANDOMS (wip) (don't feel beholden to this, I'm just providing it for inspiration and reference)

~~

What do I need to include in my request?

The following elements are critical for any request (please ensure they are included!):

characters/ships and what media they're from

a specific scenario

a desired resolution

squicks / do not writes (DNWs)

whether you are OPEN to nsfw content or would prefer all SFW

information about an OC or self-insert: name/nickname, pronouns, physical description and style, personality, relevant backstory points

Optional elements include (I can't make any guarantees but I'll see what fits!):

preferred genres

favorite tropes

any and all additional information about OCs/self-inserts. I'm very interested in every little detail, please share!!

Here are some examples of strong, viable requests:

"please write yusuke and kuwabara from yu yu hakusho having a beach day together with a kiss at the end! I don't like poly, so please don't include that, and I'm not interested in NSFW at this time. I also prefer fluff and friends-to-lovers, and I don't mind if it's first person."

"I request dick grayson and jason todd, both batman characters, training together while jason is robin. it can be open-ended, but there should be a mutual attraction there. jason can be and probably should be underage in this, but not younger than 14. would love to see nsfw content if the mood strikes."

"I'm looking for someone to write for my OC, who is a pokemon trainer based on myself. here's a link (x) to my character's profile on my tumblr. it would be really fun if this OC could be shipped with brock; they're both 15 at the time. I really want them duking it out at a pokemon gym. my character should win and then brock should ask my character on a date. please keep it SFW and pretty vanilla, but I really like flirty text messages, so if you wanted to make textfic part of it, that would be cool."

"can you do some analytical nonfiction about anakin's relationship with droids in star wars, and how it has to do with his history as a slave? I personally think he personifies things that people depersonify because of that, but I'd like to know your take. if you have anything to say about sexual violence please tag it and put it under a read more, that stuff upsets me."

~~

How do I submit a request?

You can submit a request either on or off anon on tumblr, or you can use this google survey!

Notes:

Writing pieces will typically have a turnaround of two weeks or less. This is NOT a guarantee.

Once written, the piece will be posted publicly to my AO3 and I will tag you. Please let me know if you want to remain anonymous! Requests CAN be made anonymously on tumblr, but I won't be able to tag you upon completion, so please make sure to subscribe on AO3!

I will never knowingly use AI for any aspect of my writing.

Please signal boost this post!

[wayfayrr]

I've been wanting to play around more with reader's relationships with the other links in househusband au, as well as writing for other interactions that might not happen within the main story. For this one it's Cal and reader bonding over tarot cards!

the reader in this is gender neutral however, they do get referred to as mum by Cal so just a heads up if you don't like gendered terms being used!

"Is there any reason you'd like to learn to read these so badly Cal?"

"... well you taught Wind and Wild, didn't you? And that it's a family tradition… So I should learn, shouldn't I?"

There's more he isn't telling me, some other reason he doesn't want to admit. I won't pry, if he doesn't want to talk about it there's probably something sensitive there. He's practically my third son at this point though, if he wants to open up to me it'll be his choice. 

"You don't have to unless you want to link, I'm not going to force you alright?" 

"No, I'd like to know how to. Please [Name]"

"I'll start by giving you a reading then, that way you can see how I do it. Then you can try on your own afterwards."

The way Cal's watching me set up my cloth and unpack my cards would be unsettling if it were anyone else, but I know why he struggles more than any of the other links socially. He's focused on my hands though, like they'll tell him every secret he needs. Shuffling my cards is almost more natural to me than breathing, so even with his eyes on me, I don't make a single mistake. 

“[Name], you dropped one of your cards…”

“You see that’s one of the things with tarot, sometimes the cards that resonate most with you or the person you're reading for, force you to see them by coming loose as you shuffle…”

It’s the tower. No, I'm not teaching him this only for the card that defines him be, this. It’s fine, I can play it off. Just shuffle it back in like nothing happened.

“Or I just accidentally dropped it and there’s no meaning to this one.”

“You dropped it again.”

“I think I’m just being a bit clumsy honestly.”

Why does it keep falling out, I already know this about him. I know he’s going to have to go back and that he has this ahead of him, but can’t he be happy? Just for now?  Stop just telling me what I already know, please just let him have some hope, please. With how many times it’s fallen out, I have to tell him what it means. It would be cruel of me not to, but still… Is it so bad of me to want to give him some hope?

“... Mum, if it keeps falling out it has to have a meaning. I can handle it if it’s bad, please can you just tell me?”

He… that’s the first time he’s seen me as a parent. The first time he’s called me that, and it’s… I have to explain what it means to him even if I struggle to say it. Even though I want to protect him more than anything else, I can’t hide this from him. It wouldn’t be fair…And… I’m crying. He doesn’t deserve this, he’s just a kid. Why does he have to have the fate of Hyrule on his shoulders?

“The tower it’s… It’s mostly associated with danger, crisis and destruction. I’m so sorry Cal, I - you deserve so much better, I didn’t want to tell you.”

“You... I- don’t…”

How incredible am I? Now he’s crying as well, and that’s the last thing I wanted. I should’ve stopped myself from crying, he needs someone being strong for him right now, not this. 

“Is- would it be alright if I…”

“You don’t need to ask sweetheart…”

Cal was the link I thought would be the least likely to throw himself into my arms like this, but after being told that danger is the only thing you’re seen as associated with I don’t blame him for breaking down. Holding him right now is the least I can do, because no matter how hard I try I can’t seem to stop myself from crying and well what kind of parent would I be if I didn’t comfort my son? 

“I don’t think I want to go back to Hyrule mum. I don’t, I-I can’t”

“You don’t need to worry about that for now, just… I’m here for you, you’re not alone baby.”

“I- I’m the youngest knight in the history of Hyrule, I trained for years but even still, even still… I…”

This is the most emotion I’ve ever seen from Cal, the most words he’s ever said to me, I just - I just wish it was for a better reason, anything but this. The way he’s clinging to me, how he’s wrapping himself up into my hold, how he’s just breaking to pieces and I don’t even know how to comfort him… I never want to let him back to Hyrule, how could I when I know what's waiting for him, but do I even have a choice? For now, I’m just going to hold him close to me until he feels alright, even if that means I have to stay here for hours. Especially if it means that I have to sit here for hours, he deserves everything I can give him for comfort and more. 

“I failed… I couldn’t do it… I’m not l-like the others here… I don’t know what you see in me…I’m a failure…”

“It’s not your fault Cal, you’re not a failure, everything was against you. You had so much more to fight than the others, more than you ever should’ve. You never should’ve had to fight. I’m so sorry Cal.”

He doesn’t even have the energy to speak at this point it seems, with how his words are coming out as muffled whimpers and sobs.  Why did Hylia ever think it was a good idea to force children to become heroes, to have their lives ruined by this immense guilt and trauma because she can’t handle her own problems?  It makes sense he acts like Sage, he is a version of him from a different time period after all but them crying themselves to sleep on me is one trait I wish I never had to learn they shared. After he wakes up I won’t rest until he’s found something in this world he genuinely enjoys, something to take his mind off of everything. Has he ever had the time for hobbies before? For now though, I’ll stay here with him for as long as he needs. Until he wakes up, longer still if he wants me with him.

[livingdreams97]

Rhaenyra Targaryen -"The Personal Guard." (Part 4)

Rhaenyra Targaryen x Male reader/oc

Summary: The barely known third son of Lord Lyonel Strong, surprisingly ends up becoming the personal guard of none other than the Targaryen princess, after an incident in the forest.

Words: 4.239

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Masterlist

WARNING: Smut

Rhaenyra's POV

As soon as he turns to me , I can see all kinds of feelings flash through his eyes, from anger, sadness, betrayal, pain, and I can see his body tense up in my presence.

Y/n: What are you doing here, princess? - he asks coldly and I can't understand his attitude.

Rhaenyra: I thought we had agreed to call each other by our names and put formalities aside when we were alone.- I commented confused, looking around me and observing the place for the first time.

Y/n: It happens that I have realized that it is not appropriate. - I listen as he says and I turn my gaze towards him, seeing the muscles of his jaw contracted.

Rhaenyra: Has something happened? - I ask confused, taking a step towards him and feeling my heart ache when he takes a step back.

Y/n: I don't know.- He speaks with a certain irony. -I am not the one who enters other people's rooms without knocking and dressed as a page.- He points to my clothes with venom in his voice and I open my eyes surprised at his tone of voice.

I just keep watching him, confused by his behavior towards me and a little hurt by the way he talks to me. But I realize something. That when I entered his room, he thought I was his brother, and that means that Ser Harwin was probably in this room shortly before me.

Rhaenyra: You know.- I whisper with my eyes open.

Y/n: I don't know what you mean by "I know" - he makes quotation marks with his fingers. -But if you're referring to your night out with your uncle, yes, then yes I know.- he assures and I swallow heavily because of the nerves at his answer.

Rhaenyra: I can explain it.- I quickly defend myself, walking towards him and trying to grab his hands.

But when he sees me walking towards him, he shakes his head and steps back again, letting me know he doesn't want me around right now. Which hurts me, because in these months we have become very close and he is the person with whom I feel most comfortable.

Y/n: You don't have to explain anything to me.- He denies between his teeth. -What you do, or stop doing with your uncle or any man is none of my business.- he assures me, withdrawing his gaze from me, as if looking at me disgusted him or something similar.

Rhaenyra: Of course I have to explain to you.- I assured him with certainty, trying to keep my voice from shaking from the pain of his obvious rejection. -I want to explain myself to you, I want to tell you that it has happened with total sincerity, I want it to be your concern and I want you to believe me, because your opinion about me is more important than my own father's.- I assure him giving a step toward him with each word.

Y/n: It's not necessary, because I'm just your personal guard and not your confidante.- He shakes his head, still not looking at me and not reacting to my closeness.

Rhaenyra: But I want you to be my confidante.- I assure him, stopping in front of him.

Y/n: I don't.- He denies trying to get past me, but I grab his arm and stop him.

Rhaenyra: Don't run away from me.- I beg, feeling the stinging in my eyes, because of the pain of his attitude and rejection of me.

Y/n: I'm not running away.- He denies trying to release his arm from my grip, but it only makes me hold him tighter. -I'm drawing the line of our professional relationship.- he excuses, managing to break free, but I lunge at him and grab his dark blue shirt so tightly my knuckles turn white. -Let go of me, princess.- he asks me with obvious anger.

Rhaenyra: No.- I deny sticking my body to his. -I'm not going to let you go until you've listened to me.- I assure him with all the security and seriousness that I can have at this moment.

Y/n: You must let go of me and go to your chambers, princess.- he tells me seriously, placing his hands on mine and trying to free my hands from his shirt, but I just hold on tighter.

Rhaenyra: No.- I deny without stopping looking into his eyes. -I'm not going to let you go until you listen to me and I make sure that you're not angry with me.- I assure him with all the security in the world.

Y/n: And what do you have to explain to me?- he asks with some sarcasm. -That you've been hanging around the city, disguised as a page with your uncle and doing God knows what with him?- he asks venomously, still trying to let go of my hands.

Rhaenyra: I want to explain to you that for the first time in the eight and ten days of my name I have been free, I have left the castle without the need for an escort, that I have seen incredible things that I would never have imagined and yes, it has been in the company of my uncle; who has helped me to live all that.- I say with emotion, trying to make him empathize with me. -But believe me, I would have preferred a thousand times that it would have been with you to live everything I've experienced tonight.- I assure him with complete sincerity and I feel how he stops moving his hands.

The room goes completely silent, while we stare at each other and he processes what I just told him.

As time goes by, I dedicate myself to appreciating the warmth of his body due to the closeness between the two of us and his characteristic smell of pine and apple. I carefully observe his brown eyes, which have some green flashes and despite their normality, for me they are the most special of the seven kingdoms.

Y/n: Has something happened with your uncle?- he asks with some fear in his voice in barely a whisper, without taking his eyes off my eyes.

Rhaenyra: I'm not going to lie to you.- I answer with some fear. -My uncle has taken me to a brothel and in a moment he has kissed me.- I tell him and immediately I see how his eyes harden. -But I pushed him, I don't want my uncle Daemon to kiss me, I don't see him that way and the kiss has only reaffirmed what I already knew.- I try to explain as quickly as possible.

Y/n: Has he taken you to a brothel and kissed you publicly?- he asks with obvious anger and I can only nod in response. -I'm going to kill him.- he growls, trying to break free of my grip and leave the room.

Rhaenyra: No, stop.- I ask without letting go of his shirt and pulling him towards me so that he doesn't leave the room. -Everyone was busy with their pleasure, no one has noticed our presence and if they did, they won't say anything.- I assure him trying to reassure him.

Y/n: And what if it's not like that?- he asks worried. -What happens if someone has seen you? If that person tells it and the rumor spreads? - ask a little stressed. -Your reputation will be tarnished, they will doubt your purity and it is possible that you will lose your position as the successor to the throne.- He speaks in an accelerated way and I can't help but be moved by his concern for my image.

Rhaenyra: Nothing will happen.- I assure him trying to reassure him. - I've barely been in the brothel and the kiss only lasted a few seconds before I pushed it away.- I tell him, seeing the insecurity in his eyes.

Y/n: But what if it's not like that?- he asks still worried.

Rhaenyra: We're not going to put ourselves in the worst and we're not going to anticipate events either.- I say calmly, still seeing a hint of insecurity and concern in his eyes.

Y/n: But what if ... - he starts but I interrupt him before he can finish.

Rhaenyra: But nothing.- I deny with a small smile. -You haven't asked me.- I remind him with a slightly playful look.

Y/n: Ask what?- questions confused and not understanding.

Rhaenyra: What the kiss has reaffirmed for me.- I answer biting my lip with some nervousness.

Y/n: It's none of my business.- He denies with a grimace, but I can see the interest and curiosity shining in his eyes.

I stare at him with a raised eyebrow, trying to decide whether to tell him or leave him curious as he is. Because he may say one thing, but his eyes tell me another and I'm not sure what to do.

POV You

I can see the amusement in her pretty lilac eyes, the way they sparkle, and the size of her pupil. She remains silently watching me, with her left eyebrow raised and I can't help but feel an unknown warmth in my stomach.

Rhaenyra: But you want to know.- she assures loosening his grip on my shirt and resting the palms of her hands against my chest.

I can feel my heart pounding inside my chest, both from the princess's closeness, and from the warmth of her touch on my nightgown shirt and her sweet lilac scent filling my nostrils.

And I know that the princess can also feel the rapid beating of my heart under her palms.

Y/n: You're wrong.- I deny swallowing hard, stifling my curiosity and trying to normalize my heart rate.

Rhaenyra: Don't lie, not to me.- she whispers bringing her face closer to mine. -Your heart beats fast and I don't think it's because of me. ¿Or is it?-s he asks in barely a whisper, raising one of her hands to the nape of my neck and pulling it to bring my face closer to hers.

Y/n: Princess.- I whisper trying to stay sane and trying to create distance between us, but she presses her hand hard against my neck so that doesn't happen.

Rhaenyra: My name.- she whispers a few centimeters from my lips.

Y/n: What? - I ask overwhelmed by the warmth of her breath against my lips.

Rhaenyra: Say my name.- she murmurs brushing her lips against mine and causing me to lose all the sanity that remains in my body. -Say it.- she orders me in a whisper.

Y/n: Rhaenyra .- I barely finish muttering, before her lips attack mine with fervor and I return the kiss with the same fervor.

The princess's hands run over my torso, while the kiss continues to be fast and lustful.

But as soon as I feel her hands lift my shirt, I grab her wrists with my hands and pull away from the kiss immediately.

I watch her breathlessly, seeing her dilated pupils and the rise and fall of her chest. I shake my head, looking down at her hands and knowing that we shouldn't cross the line of intimacy.

Rhaenyra: My uncle's kiss has reaffirmed that I'm in love with you and that it's you I want to marry.- she tells me and I open my eyes surprised without being able to avoid it.

Y/n: Rhae that can't be.- I immediately deny calling her by her nickname.

Rhaenyra: Why not?- she asks with confusion. -You have not taken the vows, father accepted that you were my royal guard allowing you to take a wife and lands.- she reminds me rightly.

Y/n: But I doubt that he would allow me to marry his daughter, the heir to the throne and the one who won't gain much from a marriage with a third child.- I list her honestly.

Rhaenyra: I don't care if i don't gain anything from our union.- she immediately denies, letting go of my shirt and holding my face by the cheeks. -I'm the heir to the throne, the seven kingdoms will be mine and there's nothing anyone can offer me that I don't already have or will have when I'm queen.- she assured me with a soft look.

Y/n: So why do you want to marry me? - I ask confused.

Rhaenyrae: Because I love you.- she answers simply. -Because as much as it annoys me to agree with my mother, I have fallen into the worldliness of love and I only hope that you reciprocate these feelings.- she admits with a somewhat sad smile.

Y/n: Of course I do respond to your feelings.- I confirm placing my hand on her cheek and caressing the soft skin of her face with my thumb. -But I want the best for you and as much as it hurts, that's not me.- I deny with all the pain in the world.

Rhaenyra: And what if you are, what if you're the most suitable person for me and the one who really makes me happy.- she says without separating her eyes from mine. -Allow me to decide what suits me and what I think is best for myself.- she begs me and I can't deny her anything.

Y/n: You're right, you decide. - I accept and a huge smile appears on her face.

Rhaenyra: Then make me yours and give me the pleasure of being mine.- she says lowering her hands to my chest and grabbing the edge of my shirt again.

I take a deep breath and let her remove my shirt. Her hands run over my now exposed torso, while I watch her carefully and notice the amused smile on her face.

Y/n: What do you find so funny?- I ask with a small smile.

Rhaenyra: I don't know.- she answers sincerely, looking into my eyes and letting out a little laugh.

I shake my head, cradling her face in my hands and bringing my face closer to hers to kiss again.

Y/n: Are you sure?- I ask separating from her lips to breathe, before joining them again with the same hunger as before.

Rhaenyra: Are you questioning me, Lord Strong?- she asks me with a serious tone of voice and with her face reflecting the opposite: fun.

Y/n: Of course not, princess.- I deny, amused, hugging her around the waist. -I wouldn't want to be burned or eaten by Syrax  for doubting you.- I assured her, biting my lip to keep from laughing.

Rhaenyra: I hope so, because it would be a shame if the future king consort dies for his insolence towards the future queen.- she laughs hugging my neck again and pulling it down to bring our lips together again.

The kiss begins slowly and with a touch of fun due to the small laughs that escape us. But immediately the kiss turns to one faster and full of passion.

She starts walking backwards, causing me to walk forward and follow her without breaking the kiss.

But in a quick movement she separates from me and pushes me by the chest to separate me.

Rhaenyra: Take off your boots.- she orders me and I see how she starts to do it, so without letting go of the laces I quickly take them off.

She laughs at my speed, doing the same as me and causing me to give up this time. Then I see her look at my pants and gesture with her eyebrows for me to take them off.

So with some insecurity and nerves, I place my hands on the string of my pants and untie the knot under her watchful eye.

I swallow heavily, taking a deep breath as I place my hands on the sides of my pants and pull them down quickly from the nerves.

I look up from the ground, taking in the woman still dressed before my eyes and her gaze on my body.

I can see how her eyes roam my naked body, stopping more time in my crotch and with a look full of lust.

I watch her completely still, detailing how the pupils of her eyes amplify and how her lower lip is bitten down hard. I watch as her hands move to her own pants and in two seconds they are around her ankles.

My eyes scan the pale, smooth-looking skin of her legs carefully. Walking the length of her legs, from the ankles to where her long oversize shirt of hers shows.

She stretches out a hand towards me and without hesitating for a second I approach her accepting it.

Our eyes connect again and I can see every mark of her beautiful lilac eyes. While we look at each other intensely and without saying a word. Rhae moves our hands and places them over the knot of her shirt.

Then she slides her other hand into the one at my side and repeats the action.

I understand what she means and as soon as her hands free mine, I undo the knot that holds her shirt together.

At any moment do I separate my gaze from hers, trying not to intimidate her and transmit all possible security.

Rhaenyra's POV

I feel how the cold night air hits my exposed skin and the contrast it makes with the inner burning that my body feels.

My shirt falls open, exposing more skin and allowing the air to caress the new skin. I feel the warmth of Y/n's hands settle on my shoulders through my shirt and I swallow heavily at his piercing gaze.

I subtly nod, letting him see that he can take off the only piece of clothing I have left and that prevents my body from being completely naked in front of him.

Immediately I feel like in a firm but delicate movement my shirt begins to descend through my arms, leaving more skin visible to the air per second and leaving me completely exposed.

Unlike me, Y/n keeps his gaze on mine at all times and that makes the warmth inside me increase.

Once completely naked and at his mercy, I grab his hands with mine again and move them to my breasts. Where I'm sure he can feel the rapidity and pounding of my heart.

As soon as I start to move his hands, his eyes follow the trail heavily and when his hands touch my breasts I see him swallow hard.

I move my hands up his arms, sliding them down to his neck and pulling him back to me .

Rhaenyra: Touch me.- I whisper against his lips, feeling the tension of the place and the nerves on the surface. -Please.- I beg in a strangled way when he doesn't move his hands from my breasts.

But my plea is heard, since immediately his hands squeeze my breasts and a moan full of pleasure breaks through my throat.

Our lips meet again with force, in a kiss full of passion and my body trembles at the intensity of the kiss.

His hands leave my breasts, moving over my sides, moving behind me and down to my ass.

He pulls my ass towards him, causing our bodies to stick together completely and I can feel every inch of his body. I can feel his arousal against my stomach and I can only pray that I don't break with what I've seen before, and what I'm feeling right now

He squeezes each of my butt cheeks, causing an electric shock to travel from the area to my crotch and a moan to escape my lips.

The moan causes our lips to part and I open my eyes for a moment to appreciate the small, almost imperceptible freakles on Y/n's impeccable face.

But my observation is short, when he brings our lips together again and sticks his body closer to mine if possible. His hands move down a bit to the back of my thighs, where he puts some force and lifts me off the ground.

I break away from the kiss, letting out a small startled cry and grabbing onto his neck as he lifts me off the ground.

Y/n: Has the princess been scared? - he asks amused, when I have surrounded his waist with my legs and his hands hold me by the ass.

Rhaenyra: Shut up.- I growled putting my hands inside his hair and pulling him to kiss me again.

With this new position, I can feel the firmness of his arousal much better, and I'm sure he can feel mine. In the new position, his member rests right against my crotch and a wave of chills runs through my body.

In my cloud of pleasure and lust, I can feel the softness of the bed sheets against my back and the weight of his body on mine.

I have never thought that having someone on top of me was so nice and exciting.

Y/n: Are you ready? - I hear how he asks in a whisper against my ear, leaving a light bite in the area and squeezing my thigh with his hand.

Rhaenyra: More than ever.- I nod, opening my eyes and watching each of his movements.

I see how with the hand of my thigh he grabs his member and brings it closer to my entrance. I take a deep breath, grasping the forearm next to my head and letting the air out slowly as he enters me .

My face contracts, when I feel discomfort and a slight pain at his intrusion. So I try to move to make it go away and I think it makes it worse, because I feel a stronger pang of pain.

Y/n: Shhh , don't move Rhae.- he whispers against my lips, leaving light kisses on them and placing his hands on my thigh again. -If you move it will hurt more, wait a bit.- he whispered affectionately, moving his lips over my face and planting delicate kisses on it.

I do as he tells me, staying still and closing my eyes to enjoy his show of affection. I focus on how his hand moves gently over my thigh, on the softness of his lips against every part of my face and neck and the warmth that emanates from his body on mine.

Rhaenyra: It doesn't hurt anymore.- I whisper after a few moments, opening my eyes again and connecting our gazes. -I promise.- I assure him when I can see a touch of insecurity in his eyes.

I feel how he continues entering me , causing me to close my eyes and I can feel how every nerve in my body twitches in pleasure.

As his hips sway faster, I feel my walls wrap around him and my body tremble with excitement. I can't help moaning with each movement and each new point that he touches inside me .

In a wave of courage, I push him aside and quickly climb onto his body, sitting on top of him. Without thinking twice, I grab his member with my hand and place it at the entrance to my crotch, beginning to slide down on it.

I throw my head back, feeling the new depth at the position and how my insides expand more at the intrusion.

Y/n's hands are placed on my lower back, helping me with the movements and swaying of my hips. I feel his heavy and erratic breathing against my neck, along with his wet kisses in the place causing my vision to cloud over so many stimulations.

I can feel the discomfort inside me, the pressure in my lower stomach and the tension in my toes.

I move faster on him, pulling his hair back and pulling his mouth away from my neck so our lips can meet again. But the kiss becomes difficult, due to the frantic breathing of both of us and my accelerated movements.

So I put my forehead against his, feeling his accelerated breathing hit my lips and listening to his moans and slight growls with my eyes closed.

But from one moment to the next, my body completely tenses up, causing my back to fully stretch and an immense wave of pleasure running through my body. I can't help the loud moan that comes from me , when my walls close completely around him and I feel something hot inside me.

As soon as my back relaxes, I drop my forehead against his shoulder and try to steady my breathing.

Y/n drops his back onto the bed and I can feel his heart racing against my chest. I reposition myself better, to be more comfortable and hug his torso with the little strength I have left.

Y/n: are you okay? - I hear with difficulty his question, because of his erratic breathing and my cloudy mind.

Rhaenyra: Better than ever.- I answer swallowing air, feeling my mouth completely dry and my body completely relaxed.

I close my eyes for a few moments and immediately I feel something soft and warm on my back. Y/n's arms wrap around my body and cradle me against his body lulling me to sleep. An involuntary yawn leaves my lips and I simply let the accumulated fatigue take its toll on me.

The last thing I'm aware of is the kiss he leaves on my forehead and a good night, before everything goes black.

[mistchievous]

Hey! I saw your post about pururing's account, and that your post has been reblogged by lots of people who I pretty much always agree with (including you). So I went to the account's posts and scrolled down, expecting to roll my eyes, shake my head, etc.

But as I read the artist's and others' most recent responses, I started thinking about art forms like Kathakali (I'm South Indian) where face paint of different colours is used as narrative devices and to represent characteristics. If I were to represent a 9-1-1 scene in Kathakali style, I'd need to depict faces of certain characters with colours like white, yellow, black, red, etc depending on the character and their role in a particular arc. So an actor who is portraying someone of Asian descent might be shown with yellow paint on their face to depict not their race, but their gender.

The Western-gaze would see this as "yellowface" and offensive. But shifting perspectives and taking into account the background of the artform and the artist would clarify that this is a difference in context.

I don't know if there is a right or wrong here. If a show began in a Western context and depicts the Western context, does that mean Western audiences can demand that it never be depicted in contexts they're unfamiliar with? Do artists have to stay true to the context of the artform, or do they stay true to the context of the subject being portrayed? Even if this question doesn't have a binary answer, what's the difference between acceptable and unacceptable practices, and who gets to have a say in deciding that?

I just think that these are the more pertinent questions that need to be asked and discussed in this situation. By narrowing things down just to whether that artist was right or wrong without considering such nuances, I feel like we're all risking being smugly superior without realising that we're actually in a bit of an echo chamber.

Hi, anon! I want to thank you for this message. Truly. I do think we sometimes find ourselves in an echo chamber. It’s for that reason that I try to be careful when I make posts like that. I rarely reblog callout posts, and I rarely make them. This is the third one I think I’ve ever made, and I can’t think of any I’ve reblogged off the top of my head.

Callout posts to me only become necessary when you’ve exhausted all other options. And in this case, I only made it myself because it seemed as though those speaking out were being ignored – including people of color. I know that a lot of that has to do with how heavily some of those blogs block and how much they’ve been blocked in the past. So, I chose to make a post under my own name because I knew more people would see it. From what I understand, while a few people do have me blocked, I’m not widely blocked in this fandom. All that being said though, posts like this can still be incendiary and dangerous, and I don’t make them lightly. It’s why I tried to keep my explanation and language as mild as possible while explaining the issue at hand.

That being said, because I approached it in that manner, there’s a lot that the general public isn’t privy to just by scrolling that person’s account.

I’ll start with what you are privy to and how I think it’s different from the Kathakali style you refer to in your message. The defenses this person gave to their coloring choices have little to do with culture and more to do with style and perception. They pulled stills from the show in an attempt to explain the color palette they used, but as an example, in this picture here, Jee is clearly lighter than Maddie, her white mother. And you can see in real reference photos using these actors that this is not the case. That is just a fact.

They didn’t explain away this issue with cultural artistic differences. They explained this issue using pictures and color picking and defending their perception with some alarming messages in DM.

That brings me to some information you were not privy to. This is an example of one of the messages I was shown in private by someone who was trying to talk to this person one on one about everything going on here.

They state that they drew Jee that way because she’s lighter than her parents, which is just a bizarre and untrue statement to make - particularly in reference to Maddie. But then they went on to say she’s going to get lighter as she grows older. Even if that is true (which I don’t see why it would be because what?), it has nothing to do with her skin color now.

A lot of this artist’s work is limited to black and white sketches. But if they’re going to choose to add color to their work, it should accurately represent the people of color they're choosing to portray regardless of the artist’s own skin color.

I understand this is a different style of art than the art we normally see, but I don’t see how that would change the fact that twins that play Jee should not be portrayed as whiter than Oliver Stark and Jennifer Love Hewitt who are both white actors. It’s kind of a manga style from what I gather, but from everything I know about that, it shouldn’t have an effect on coloring choices.

And again, the artist themselves says they colored Jee lighter because they perceive her to be lighter and think she will become lighter. That is… problematic to say the least.

It is still complicated though because I think you’re right about Western vs. Eastern art forms and gazes. I really do. I’m a white woman from the West, and that skews my perceptions immensely. I try to understand things as best I can, but I’m not perfect, and I know I’ll make mistakes. But I do not see how the art form here makes the work immune to criticism.

What I know and what I knew before making that post was that there were enough people who were upset by it that it deserved being looked into. And then so many of those voices were being lost in the void that I wanted to do what I could to help. That may not have been my place. What I knew was that my voice would have a greater impact though, and so I used it.

I personally believe this artist to be in the wrong, especially after being shown some of the messages they sent in DM, but the question of what’s acceptable and unacceptable and who gets to have a say in deciding that is a complicated one. I normally wouldn’t feel I personally should have shared an opinion here at all because I’m white and from America, but when other voices are getting lost, what do you do? Do you stay quiet? Maybe I should have, but that’s not the choice I chose to make.

I do encourage everyone to look into the situation for themselves and make determinations for themselves, even if I put a bit of a spotlight on that person’s blog and voiced my own personal opinion. But everyone should definitely realize that what you’re seeing on the public blog isn’t all there is. Not by a long shot.

I really hope I answered some of your questions and that this made some amount of sense.

Please feel free to message me again on or off anon if you want to discuss it further or if you think I've made a mistake. That goes for anyone. My DMs are open.

[this-is-a-dystopian-parable]

Reacting to the new Three Houses photos!

My Three Houses brainrot is setting in and I have to keep myself from going insane and/or spoiling myself before I see it. So lets go through the new photos released by Playbill yesterday (May 3rd)! My predictions below, but I don't know any more than you do so there won't be any spoilers!

Right off the bat. The set? STUNNING. Giving Octet/Comet/Ghost Quartet if it had a proper set. The concept of the show is an open mic night so the bar setting is a given, I love the little tables with menus, makes it very Great Comet. I love how many of Dave's shows are set in a specific place that the performance factors into. You are at an academic lecture, a jazz club, a church basement. Wonderful job by dots.

Love that the Grandmother and Grandfather double as the bartenders/waiters here. A note about the cigarette from the playbill, these are herbal cigarettes that are actually smoked for real, they just don't have any effect. Just a fun fact for realism.

ONSTAGE BAND lets gooooooo. You can see the other two characters sitting at the two little tables downstage.

No thoughts. Pretty :)

DRAGON DRAGON DRAGON DRAGON

I'm SO curious why he's here. I had assumed, naturally, that the puppet in this case would be the Wolf. But no, there's a dragon here??? My prediction is that this is either connected to the video game references in the show (we'll come to that), it's a puppet a character made, or it's some hallucination/dream sequence.

Dragon is sitting at the bar??? He's havin a drink??? Oh my god???

Band onstage!!!

You can see how close the audience is in this one!!!

More that are close-ups. My only note here is that the background behind the bar is different! So I assume it changes between characters.

HERE WE ARE. THE SIMS PLUMBOBS. THATS SO SILLY. I'm also really curious about the way Dave would use the context of the Sims in this show. Like I'm predicting it's going to be more than "people playing video games stuck at home" but will also have some comment about socialization and human connection. Since Mia Pak doesn't have one here, I feel like we're likely to see an Octet style form where during each person's individual story, the others act as a side characters.

Oh my gooood he is so unhinged and silly. What is he up to. The intense glare. The plumbob again. My prediction is that he will sort of hang around and antagonize from within each person's story, taking on different roles and acting as an omnipotent force.

ALSO. ELECTRIC GUITAR. Giving Beowulf but also The DJ. I guess that's what I'm leaning towards with his style of antagonism, he's just there to poke fun at them and be mean and have fun. I love him, he looks like he's having so much fun.

I love the boxes but it's also really surreal, because I JUST did a show in October that was also about quarantine and featured tons of cardboard boxes. Seriously. The playwright had decided to clean up the house during quarantine, and put things into boxes to keep them organized. But he fell into depression and for months just lived out of the cardboard boxes he didn't have the energy to unpack. This show was about a depressed woman who couldn't sleep, and was haunted by a Pierrot clown and a puppet. Anyway. I'm getting similar vibes here.

Those are all my thoughts on the photos! But I have a couple more from the updates to the program, which you can access here.

The characters have new names added to them! It's now Susan/Shelob, Sadie/Pookie, and Beckett/Zippy. I wonder what these are about, if they're just other characters they play within the stories. My prediction is though that they're either online names or related to the Sims bit mentioned earlier.

According to the program, there are only THREE musical numbers. Not acts, "musical numbers" that's the exact wording.

First House: Susan

Second House: Sadie

Third House: Beckett

Coda

Dave Dave Dave. Maybe this is a previews thing, and the different names just haven't been solidified? Either way, I support doing whatever he wants from a show standpoint but I'm curious how it would translate to an album. Of course, that's a problem for another day!

Woof. Long one. Thank you for sticking with me here and stay tuned because I am going to be sharing a LOT more about this show as it develops!

[emelinstriker]

About those 3 Anon messages recently...

Yes, there's 3 now. Third on came up while I was finishing typing about the 2nd one.

tl;dr context: peeps defending a fictional 2D lego character, questioning the morality of esau (despite the lack of lore context), as well as for some reason a personal attack on me... also smol chinese jesus??? :'D

DISCLAIMER:

I respect y'all's opinions and headcanons and whatnot. It's all valid. However. I expect respect on my own opinions and headcanons return. That's literally all I'm asking.

That's common sense and I will from this point on just delete anyone else's anon asks if they try to argue with me about my standings on these matters mentioned in here. Or this post in general.

There's literally no point in arguing over words written in a story, or debating whether or not pixels on a screen are hot or not.

With that disclaimer being said...

Case 1:

I'm fully aware of the entire discussion thing of Nezha being eternally 12 and all that, but I'm also fully aware of how LMK Nezha is more of a parody on the original. LMK Nezha is more of an adult 2D character who took the characteristics of the source, but then was turned into an aged-up parody.

It's not weird with the context of how things even came to be in the AU. It does involve a form of "infection" that changes those that are infected. In ESAU it's just slightly different from my original story's OCs to appeal more to the Reader. There are people out there who seek comfort in their own superiority complex too, especially if they can never explore that part of themselves normally. If that doesn't appeal to you, that's fine. But don't assume it's weird just because you don't like it if a fictional master/servant relationship isn't for you.

Now, this ask wasn't really bad or directly disrespectful. That was just basic questioning on the general relationship of the AU as well as the LMK Nezha being 12 discussion. So I went to bed, cuz I didn't wanna respond with my rather aggressive response to the topic. Like, I ranted about it to my Discord server, but it was already around midnight and I knew I'd come off as aggressive, despite the logic and facts, if I just copy n pasted the way I phrased the rant. So I went to bed. But then I woke up to an essay in another ask...

Case 2:

I'm assuming this is the exact same person, based on the timeframe and the writing style..? Maybe even the same person who asked that question about whether I'd make Nezha's relationship towards the Reader romantic or platonic..??

For the sake of this entire thing being unworthy of an unnecessary discussion, as well as the fact that the person sending this isn't worth directly responding to if they hide behind an anon face, knowing they would get flamed, I will solely respond to these for my actual viewers, who do enjoy ESAU.

As in, I noticed how almost every single point is easily arguable. Like, they literally just made it up as if every single relationship between the Reader and their champions is romantic. Which couldn't be further from the truth. This is a point I wanna get more into due to how it covers the Master System more. A random anon sending me questions, or rather statements, like this doesn't deserve to get a detailed response to this directly either. My viewers do deserve more insight though. Be it to avoid more people thinking this is automatically grooming, or just to give interested people more lore dump.

To keep it short: Everyone who wants to be a Reader, is a Reader. I myself am a Reader of fiction, which is why I use my persona to fill in the Reader's space in any drawing I do for ESAU. Which is also why Macaque referred to their Master currently being female in that one drawing- Because in that moment, in my drawings, I'm technically seen as their Master.

So when you see the champions swap between their Master using non-binary or female pronouns, this is why. If you see me draw them referring to their Master as a "she", they're referring to basically their current Master in that exact moment. However, literally anyone else can also be placed in that spot.

Whenever I refer to a Reader's reincarnation, I usually mean either "the same person, but another life" OR "different people of the same/a different life". As in, the Reader can imagine themselves having had multiple past lives, or their "past life" is actually another Reader. We're all the Reader. That's why I kept saying the Master System is rather philosophical.

The Reader can imagine themselves if they met their champions as a child or as an adult. However, nothing in ESAU is forced to be romantic or sexual. If you were born as a prince/princess/royalty, that doesn't mean your servants are immediately destined to be romantic or sexual with you, right? That entire portion is up to the Reader to decide and imagine. I do not control what another person thinks of and imagines. If they chose to pick a darker path, the fuck do you want me to do about that? Unless it ends up hurting anyone, or they actively push the topic onto others, I see no issue with however a Reader wants to think up what happens in their life with their servants. All I do is create material for others to play with.

Except for the First Master, any other Reader can be considered either the same person or various people. That's up to the person behind the screen, whether they feel more comforted with one idea or another.

On the Nezha being 12 topic... Do people know what a parody is, I-

LMK Nezha looks more like THIS-

Not as young as THIS-

And he was never said to be 12 years old in LMK. Nor does he look 12, act 12, speak 12, sound 12... LMK needs to be seen and accepted as more like a parody AU of the original story, if that wasn't obvious enough. I find it funny how they brought up my own age though-

Cuz yeah, I'm 21, almost 22, and I do understand the difference between reality's religions, fictional 2D pixels, and the difference between the source and a parody. Wow. Shocker. I know.

Or as I said it in tags earlier today-

Also I'd just like to add… If we go by the theory of specifically LMK Nezha still being 12, despite literally thousands of years having passed, his body being depicted as a fully grown adult in basically every single goddamn aspect of his character within the show… Literally all he got is his paperwork saying he's 12. Like- LMK Nezha would literally just be one of those people that were born on February 29th. Just him not getting any birthdays. Do you assume after literal thousands of years, with his body and mind being mature, and only his paperwork saying he's 12, this dude wouldn't be tryna explore more of himself and his interests, wh-

Like- LMK Nezha isn't the original source Nezha. Simple as that. Just accept it's a parody and be done with it. If you don't agree with it, that's your opinion and I respect that. But don't you dare fucking push that opinion on others who do actually accept the show as a parody and wanna live out their fantasies in said parody.

Your opinion does not mean it's the opinion of others.

Like, the entire age thing in LMK is such a headcanon thing to the point where no one seems to have a solid age, besides maybe MK, who I've seen people calculate his age for due to his driving license and all that. LMK Nezha is confirmed to be depicted as an adult within the show, which is the headcanon I'm going with, regardless of whatever bullshittery people are trying to argue with.

In conclusion: Nezha may be eternally 12 in a story. But that story is NOT Lego Monkie Kid.

On a side note, something I found ironic and funny, is if an aged up character isn't allowed to be sexualized, then I guess if someone ages a character down, suddenly that original source of the character is no longer allowed to be sexualized either, just because that character suddenly has a younger version of themselves. It's not even the younger version that's being sexualized. That literally is the entire logic of this debate on not wanting a fictional character to have an aged up version of themselves.

Good job, nobody wins. I guess nothing can be sexualized at that point- But then again, Rule 34 wouldn't exist then.

Okay, but now this, THIS is where I got REALLY annoyed, cuz NOW we're getting into more personal territory of nitpicking at ESAU. And those who know me are aware of how I go Asian mom mode when my creations, or younger friends and mutuals, are being wrongfully disrespected.

In general, their entire point is a snowflake-behavior nitpick. Branding is also seen as a way to claim ownership over something. The torture part is basically just the pain of it. I could've also just have the champions have one of those toy stamps for lil children be slapped onto them if you really wanna snowflake it all for tHe PrEcIoUs cHilDrEn...

C'mon. I grew up with FNAF and Creepypastas. Which tend to be usually two of the first fandoms I see children get interested in and hyperfixated on. Mentions of brandmarks that have fully healed ain't nothin' at all.

Like, I literally met a boy who was 8ish years old, who was so happy and hyped about FNAF that he asked me to draw Freddy and Bonnie.

Creepypastas also might make one edgy for a while, but they do grow A LOT from it once they leave that phase. So far, everyone I've ever talked to about Creepypastas in the past became such a good person. Because they look back, and recognize morals so much better. They have seen what bad things can happen and we all know where to draw the line between what's fine, and what's not. Nitpicking on LMK Nezha and ESAU doesn't mean anything since it's just that, nitpicking. I know where to draw the line, but this line these people set is a line no one but themselves can imagine.

Show children bits of reality's darker side and they will know how to deal with the knowledge much better and faster as they grow. That wasn't even just about branding, but I'm tired of people saying how we need to keep children safe. Well yeah, keep them safe physically, but they will never fucking grow and become more independent unless you fucking let them think and process the good AND the bad for themselves.

Also on the topic of adding content warnings- Like, the fuck do you want me to even add? Those asks other people sent of the Reader being basically raised by their servants need no warnings, X Readers in general need no warnings, the brandmarks need no warnings cuz they're just there as aesthetic symbols for anyone not invested in the lore, LMK Nezha needs no content warnings-

Literally the only content warning I'd ever need to add is something like gore, which I do admit I didn't add on the ESAU!Nezha X Reader one.

And I'd just like to add a little something that made me raise an eyebrow: They complained about me going against "Wukong's celibacy vows" when they literally admitted to actively looking through the LMK X Reader tag. While that doesn't necessarily mean they would marry or bang Wukong, that means they're at least curious or interested in what a relationship with any of those characters would be like. Which by all means, would not be possible without it being fiction/fanfiction, and without them having some curiosity or interest in the 2D show of LMK.

Like you're literally telling me I'm practically hurting a fictional character's feelings on the matter, but then turn around and try to get with another character.

Fanfiction and AU's are a thing, man. It's all opinions, headcanons, and literally made up shenanigans. And there's nothing wrong with it when it differs from one person to another.

But dumping empty accusations onto me, someone who thinks more logically than emotionally, literally doesn't help your case. Like, you're debating whether or not this 2D character would actually give a shit if someone would wanna bang them cuz they look hot to the other person.

Case 3:

This one just got dropped into my inbox as I finished typing out the last paragraph and just- This is literally just a unnecessary and only somewhat personal hatred thing at this point- But I'm wheezing at the idea of a smol Chinese Jesus-

Bro, as someone who was forced to be Christian on paper, but never gave a shit about it, because Religion doesn't prove anything or form you, I really don't care. And even if that were the case, I wouldn't complain. It's all fiction dammit. You're again, defending pixels on a screen. Besides that, that wouldn't even be the original source character, again. Also in general, honestly, I see any religious story as fiction anyway. Cuz that literally is what a religion is- You put a belief onto someone over a being/a story-

If you're religious, I respect that. But so do you have to respect that I'm not exactly religious myself.

Case 3 was probably the most directly aggressive one of the 3, but also the most unmeaningful one and so unnecessary one... as if that would be the one to prove a point.

Anyway, rant over, I'm done with this.

If I see any other personal hate on me for not sharing the same fucking opinion on such a niche debate, I'll just ignore and delete it all. This is such a pointless topic.

ESAU is supposed to be a comfort zone for those who actually do feel connected to it. If you don't, that's fine, I fully respect it. If people believe Nezha is 12, I respect that. But don't push that onto those who literally are just here to have a nice time away from shit like this. If you wanna "keep the children safe", fucking keep them away from this sort of nowhere-leading discussion topic.

Literally look at Genshin's Twitter Community, this just feels like the exact same type of unnecessary drama I see there.

And no I will not tag these 3 anons. If they respect me enough, they will either just keep quiet or block me and move on. I don't mind. But I refuse to let this bullshit be a whole ass discussion when I'm just trying to have a good time connecting to my viewers after a long day at work. If they look for a fight for some reason, I won't give them one. They can pick someone else for this bullshit, it's not worth my time as it's all OPINION AND HEADCANON-BASED.

And such debates don't end in peace. So I'd rather be the bigger, more mature person and just say "This is the line. Discussion over. We're done here".

Have a nice day, anyone who actually is nice and respectful towards others and their own takes/opinions on things! Weekend's here now tho so y'all ESAU lovers might see some wholesome lil doodles! :D

[indignantlemur]

I was wondering if you had any advice for beginners writing a long fanfic?

Thank you.

Hello! I actually do have some advice, though of course I must stress that what works for me is not necessarily what will work for others.

I'll break this down into two categories - general and specific.

🖊️GENERAL WRITING ADVICE:

🌟FIRST: Find a process that works for you to stay on track.

Some people find making a diagram or a mind-map of ideas and plotlines helps them stay on track. Some people make a bullet-point list of what they need to accomplish in each chapter. Some don't even bother making a list at all, and write on the fly.

Personally, I've found that making an outline helps me immensely. I can flesh out the outlined points as I need to, throwing in possible bits of dialogue or descriptions that come to me when I think about a scene I've planned, and I can move each plot point around as needed. Not only does this keep me organized, but if I need to take a break from writing, I'm not left floundering when I come back to it. I can pick up the threads right away, because I know exactly how and where I left them and what they're meant to tie into. I keep all of my plot notes on a separate document that I can switch over to (or keep open on a second screen, or even just open on my phone, really) and I reference it constantly.

I do this for shorter stories as well as longer ones, and the key to make this approach work is understanding that the plot points and tidbits I have prepared are guidelines. Only the bare bones are set in stone, and even then I give myself as much flexibility as possible. Sometimes, the scene develops in such a way that I can't include the dialogue or descriptions I'd hoped to because now it doesn't make sense - and that's fine. I save the defunct bits, cut and paste it to a junk drawer document where I put all my missing and cut scenes, and see if I can reuse them in the future. No writing is a wasted effort.

🌟SECOND: Get a second pair of eyes on your work.

Find a beta-reader, or a very good friend who isn't afraid to tell you when something needs work. Ideally, both. Beta-readers are worth their weight in gold twice over (I love you @emilie786!) and will help you with the grammar and the flow of the scene, often catching mistakes you miss. Some beta-readers only want to proof-read, and some want to be more involved in your writing process - clear communication about goals and expectations is key!

Likewise, a writer-friend who's willing to look at your work while it's still rough and give you feedback on it (becoming your alpha audience, as it were) is an amazingly helpful person. They can help you by suggesting different takes on a scene, or alternate phrasing when your writing feels a bit awkward in places, or even workaround for plot problems and any difficulties you run into. I frequently chat with @the-lady-general about our different writing projects, and it's been immensely helpful for both of us.

🌟THIRD: Be prepared to kill your darlings.

So, you've written a thing. You worked hard on it, poured your heart and soul into it, and you love it to pieces. Of course you do! Only... your beta-reader had torn a scene or a character to shreds, however kindly, and now you have to cope with rewriting it.

A kneejerk response a lot of new writers have to this is to get defensive and upset - I've been guilty of this myself, in the distant past when dinosaurs still roamed the Earth. I'll tell you now what someone should have told me then: sometimes, a person has to be cruel to be kind. A beta-reader or a friend telling you a scene needs work is a gift compared to your story being panned by negative reviews after the fact, especially if you are the sort to put a lot of emotional value on your reviews (as many of us do).

When this happens, because it inevitably will, listen.

Step back, take a day or two to reset your brain if you need to, and then review what your beta-reader told you. Look at it objectively, without emotion. If you cannot, bring in a friend or mentor who can help you do so. Go over what's been said, the chief complaints and concerns, and open up a new document. Copy the scene. Paste it over. Rewrite the scene in the new document, taking all of the advice given to you into account. Once you're done, take a break. Make a cup of tea. Grab a snack. Go for a walk, even. When you're done, come back and read both the original and rewritten scenes.

You may very well find that your writing has benefited from the exercise, if nothing else, but I suspect you will find you like the rewrite a little better.

🌟FOURTH: Writing tutorials and guides are goldmines.

If you're struggling with writing a scene, or even if you just think it doesn't flow the way you want, look at what other writers who can write these scenes suggest. I struggle with action scenes, personally, and I've been referencing a lot of guides for Hoarfrost (which is still in the works but getting closer to completion!) to shore up those weak points in my writing.

Heck, I spent a literal week reading nothing but smut guides and writing tutorials, learning everything from phrasing to atmosphere-building, before I felt brave enough to try writing TSKW, never mind actually posting chapter 44 of Emigre. My ads haven't been the same since. The VPN did nothing.

Of course, a thesaurus is a valuable tool as a writer, but learning how to stitch your words together to create a scene is more than just knowing twelve different synonyms for the word "said." To that end, I would say that there is absolutely nothing shameful about taking inspiration from other writers and published authors, or from guides and tutorials. So long as you're not copying another's work or borrowing their ideas without permission, of course.

And, finally,

🌟FIFTH: Don't be afraid of writing badly.

I started writing when I was 8 - silly, nonsensical things with no particular plot or plan. Charming, but terrible. I got into fanfiction at 12, and the stuff I wrote was beyond cringe-inducing. Mary Sues, flat descriptions with no life to them, using too much emotion or too little, unrealistic reactions and irrational decisions from every character unfortunate enough to be involved - you name it, I wrote it.

All of this is a perfectly normal part of writing, even if I'd rather walk into the sea with a canon ball lovingly bundled in my arms rather than let any of it see the light of day ever again.

Through these horrible, absolutely godawful first steps into the world of writing, I grew. I got negative reviews, and supportive ones. I took breaks and tried again later. I wrote and rewrote. I erased entire documents and started from scratch more times than I can count (which I kind of regret, hence my advice to make a junk drawer document). I spent weeks, months, even years using my maladaptive daydreaming to hone scenes, refine characterizations, and tweak plot ideas. I have stories and worlds in my head that have been percolating for a literal decade or more, and they still don't feel ready to put onto paper yet - but if I don't start despite that, they never will be.

So don't be afraid of writing badly, and certainly don't let that fear stop you from writing at all. After all, churning out a rough, unrefined first draft is the first and most important step to learning how to write well.

✒️SPECIFIC WRITING ADVICE

The first, best piece of specific advice I ever got when starting out was this:

🌟Describe the scene as if you were describing it to a blind person.

(I always took this advice to mean someone who had recently lost their sight, rather than someone who would have no shared frame of reference for visual descriptions, but you're quite welcome to interpret it differently.)

The colours and shapes we readily think of when it comes to describing a scene are important, but what about texture? Scent? Taste? Scent in particular is hugely important to people because it's directly linked to our memories, but sound and touch are also very important for setting a scene. By excluding those details, you are robbing the audience of layers of immersion.

Think about the sights and scents and sounds around you as you go about your day. How would you describe them? The smell of coffee from across the room - is it earthy, bitter, burnt? Is Karen from accounting eating fish tacos again, despite multiple complaints, and now the cloying, oily aroma of microwaved fish has saturated the entire office? What about the warmth of sunlight streaming through a nearby window against your arm, the way the light catches on the hard edges of the furniture and the highlights in a woman's hair. What about the sound of your shoes against the floor as you walk, the click of heels and the shuffle and squeak of sneakers? Think about how you would describe what you're wearing, beyond bare facts. The softness of the fabric, the sturdiness of the construction, the weight of the material - how would you put them into words?

Spend time actively paying attention to the world around you, to conversations and scenery and people, and ask yourself: how would I write this?

The second piece of advice may seem contradictory, given the first, but it's worth hearing anyway:

🌟Sometimes less is more.

Descriptions and explanations are an important part of story-telling, enhancing the scene and building the world around it, but there's a time and a place. We don't need to know every single descriptive detail about the main character in the first paragraph, or even the first chapter. We don't need to know the entire history of the new alien species the moment we meet them, or even for years after the first encounter. We don't need to wade through ten pages describing how strange and bizarre the alien trees are, nor do we need three different descriptions of the shape of each leaf on every branch.

Learn to space out your expositions and descriptions. Treat them like sprinkles - they look better when they're spread out over the whole cake, rather than clumped in one spot.

My third bit of general advice is this:

🌟Don't rush it.

It's really, really tempting to rush towards that one amazing scene you have planned out in your head - the one with the big emotional impact, the plot twist, the big scene - but don't! Hold off! We, the readers, don't know about all the details that lead up to that scene. We don't know about the layers of meaning and all the build up that leads to that great pay-off. Without that, we simply won't get it. We won't understand what you're trying to convey, or why it's such a big deal.

Take the time to build up the story, to show us how your characters learn and adapt and grow with each challenge. That journey is important. It might feel tedious, like a slog you have to get through to get from Point A to Point B, but we need it! We need those scenes, those moments, in order to stand where you want us to stand when the big scene begins, to know what we need to know and feel what you want us to feel as we watch it happen.

And finally, my fourth and final bit of specific advice:

🌟Wish fulfillment is fun, but realism is what draws us in.

We have all made Mary Sues, Gary Stus, and every possible permutation of them, even if we never quite put pen to paper with them. Many folks who get into writing start by imagining a character who serves as a kind of wish fulfillment or power fantasy put into writing. It's perfectly normal - but the thing to remember is that those characters are a bit... bland. They don't struggle. They don't fail. They don't lose. Or if they do, it's not in a meaningful way. That kind of character is so divorced from reality that it breaks the readers' suspension of disbelief.

Everyone alive has a combination of talents and failings, weaknesses and strengths, insecurities and weird quirks. That's part of the Human experience. A perfect, flawless character defies that experience, and thus we cannot relate to them. The character becomes flat and uninspiring to the audience, and once that happens all that remains is apathy. When there are no stakes, there is no investment. Why should we care about a character who will never fail against even the most overwhelming odds? We already know the ending, because the character cannot lose.

So I urge you to really look at your characters. Some folks recommend taking "Mary Sue Litmus Tests" and such to get a rough idea of how your characters might be received, and those are certainly useful tools - but they are not the only tools at your disposal. Read constantly. Watch films and documentaries alike. Try out new show and book genres, even the ones you don't think you'll like. Really look at the people around you, at how they act versus what they do, and how their unique combination of personality traits and flaws coalesce into a perfectly ordinary person. Inspiration is literally everywhere around you, if you look for it.

Now, everyone creates characters differently. Some folks start with an idea, or a core concept, and build the character around that. Others make characters more procedurally (wherein those "20+ questions about your OC" posts are actually quite useful), and some even use generators to slap a bunch of traits together to see what sticks. Some characters seem to spring fully formed from the ground one day, and others can take years of tinkering to really come into being.

Look for inspiration everywhere, and you'll eventually find a way that works best for your writing.

...I know, I know. You asked for advice and I wrote you a book. If you've made it this far, kudos. Writing can be a lot of work, but never let it be anything other than a labor of love.