#i kept rewinding and just watching for details

[steddieas-shegoes]

read my lips

for @steddielovemonth prompt 'love is staring at his lips when he talks'

rated m | 1,799 words | cw: suggestive language, implied sexual content | tags: mutual pining, getting together, first kiss, platonic stobin

👄👄👄👄👄👄👄👄👄👄👄👄👄👄

"Steve? Earth to Steve." Robin waved her hand in front of his face, successfully pulling him out of the daydream he'd been in for who knows how long. "He walked away nearly two minutes ago. You gotta get your shit together, man."

Steve looked around, trying to find where Eddie went. He'd been talking to them both about a show his band was invited to perform in a few towns over in a couple weeks. Steve was listening to him go on about trying to buy a set of special edition picks at the record shop they'd be performing in when he got distracted by the way Eddie's lips kept smirking around his words.

The scarring along his cheek made his smile more crooked than it was before the bats, and Steve couldn't stop staring.

Not for the reasons strangers on the street would, not even in the way that Dustin or Wayne sometimes looked at him, like they were still upset at the way the world turned against Eddie.

No, this was entirely because every time Steve started to watch Eddie talk, he got distracted thinking about those lips on his. This time it was way less work appropriate.

He turned to Robin and groaned.

"God, this is bad."

"You don't say." Robin set a stack of tapes on the counter next to Steve. "All these still need to be checked in. Then you can go get distracted by thoughts of Eddie's lips on your neck or whatever."

"If only it had been my neck," Steve mumbled as Robin started humming loud enough to drown him out.

"Stevie, you work too hard," Eddie's voice said from right behind him only a minute later. "You should take a break."

"I just had my lunch 30 minutes ago. I can't take another break," Steve refused to make eye contact, refused to get captured by that sinful smile.

Eddie's hand landed on his shoulder. "Aren't you the one in charge right now?"

"You think I'm over Robin?"

"I think you think you're over Robin. And that should be enough. Just sneak away. She won't even notice. Look, she's yelling at a kid in the corner," Eddie poked him to get him to turn around and look. "Poor kid probably didn't think anyone who worked here cared if he snuck into the R section."

Steve finally turned around and let out a snort. "That's the third time that kid's tried to get back there in a week. He's just an idiot."

"Well...she's distracted. There's no other customers. Take a break!" Eddie was grinning at him and Steve was already under his spell.

"Fine, but only a few minutes. She'll be pissed if I leave her to do all the rewinding and shelving," Steve agreed because he had to.

Because Eddie was looking at him like he was up to something and he wanted Steve to be up to something with him. Because he'd do anything that made Eddie's crooked smile bigger, anything to hear him let out that giggle he tried to hide when he was being mischievous.

Eddie tugged on his arm and pulled him out from behind the counter, holding a finger to his lips to shush him when he started to tell him to stop.

He led him to the back office, which was usually locked if Keith wasn't in, but had been left unlocked the last two shifts because Robin was in charge of closing out the registers.

"I know for a fact you shouldn't be in here. I'm barely even allowed in here," Steve whispered.

"No one will know," Eddie said as he sat on the edge of the cluttered desk. "It's not like Family Video is stashing away government secrets."

"I said the same thing about Scoops Ahoy and then got tortured by Russians, so I'd watch what you say."

Eddie's smile dropped for a moment.

Steve had never gone into details and Robin had just shrugged it off when Eddie asked her about it. She said she was grateful she had Steve through it all and that was that.

"Do you suspect Russians might be hiding under Family Video?" Eddie eventually asked. "If so, I think we should head out. I'll get our coats."

Steve shook his head. "Nah. Think the Russians got the hell out of Hawkins after Starcourt."

"Good. Wouldn't wanna have to deal with Russian torture trauma on top of all the bats and being stuck in the Upside Down for days trauma," Eddie snorted. "So, what're you doin' after work today?"

"Uh." Steve admittedly didn't hear most of what Eddie said. He was too busy watching his lips form around words. "Hm?"

Eddie's smile fell. "I asked what you're doing after work. Are you okay? You seem kinda out of it today."

"Yep, I'm fine. Might just be getting a migraine or something." Steve looked down at the floor to try to concentrate. "I'm probably just gonna heat up some leftovers from movie night last night and shower and go to bed."

"You want company?" Eddie asked.

Steve felt his heart stop. "In the shower?"

He looked up at Eddie, that perfect smile growing on his face.

"I meant for dinner or just to hang out, but if you need help in the shower, I could probably arrange that," Eddie was teasing. He was kidding. He had to be. Right?

“I’m…I don’t-“

“Don’t hurt yourself, Stevie,” Eddie laughed. “Offer’s there if you want it.”

Steve was too busy staring at Eddie’s tongue licking his bottom lip, imagining that tongue licking along his bottom lip.

“Jesus Christ,” Eddie whispered.

“Hm?”

“You know, I started wearing chapstick and waited for you to finally give in.” Eddie’s lip quirked up. “But you haven’t done anything except stare. You gonna do something?”

“Do what?” Steve was clueless as to what he was talking about.

“You gonna see if they taste as good as they look?”

“I’m not sure what you mean.”

“Kiss me, Harrington. You gonna do it or not?” Eddie sighed.

“I-“

“It’s alright. Been waiting for weeks now. You wanna?” Eddie didn’t move from the desk. “Not sure they’re gonna be as great as you seem to be picturing every time I talk, but hopefully they aren’t a complete disappointment.”

Steve kinda figured he should go ahead and kiss him before he started to get lost in his own world again.

He stepped up to Eddie, watching as his face shifted from amused to anticipatory. Steve’s hand rested on Eddie’s knee, mostly to help keep his balance.

He was feeling a little lightheaded with the recent development.

“You really want me to kiss you?” Steve asked as he leaned in, resting his forehead against Eddie’s.

“Yeah, I really do.”

Steve watched his lips the entire time, enamored with the way every part of his mouth enunciated every word. Everything felt important when Eddie said it.

He tasted and felt better than he looked, especially when his hands came up to cup the sides of Steve’s neck, fingers scratching at the roots of his long hair.

Steve whined into his mouth, sinking against him as Eddie took control and deepened the kiss.

“You’re both lucky I’m willing to pretend that I’m not seeing what I’m seeing and that I’m willing to close this door and leave you alone for ten minutes. Mostly because I was so tired of Steve losing every remaining brain cell anytime Eddie talked.” Robin’s voice filtered through the small office, causing Steve and Eddie to pull apart quickly, both wiping at their mouths. “Ten minutes. Not a second more. Pants stay on. Got it?”

“Got it,” Eddie agreed.

“And hands stay out of pants!” Robin said as she closed the door.

“Dammit,” Eddie sighed.

“Ten minutes is long enough to make out,” Steve tried to suggest, leaning in to kiss him again.

“Ten minutes is long enough for a lot of things. Tell me where you want my lips.”

It would be rude teasing from anyone else, but from Eddie, it just made Steve feel seen.

“Anywhere. Everywhere. Wherever you want them,” Steve gasped out, still feeling like he might be dreaming.

“So you’d be okay with them…here?” Eddie whispered against his neck, soft presses of his lips against his skin. “Or here?” Steve’s shirt was pulled to the side for Eddie to suck a bruise into the crook of his neck. “Or maybe here?” Eddie’s hand pressed against his half-hard cock on his jeans. “Oh, sweetheart. Had no idea you’d be so ready for me.”

“Yes, you did,” Steve argued.

“You’re right. But it’s still nice to see and feel. Maybe I could taste?” Eddie asked as his hand wandered along his waist line.

“N-now?” Steve stuttered out.

“I have-“ Eddie checked his watch. “About eight minutes. I could get you off.”

“With your mouth?”

“Well, yeah. We can’t make a mess, can we? This is your place of employment, Stevie. And it’s a bitch getting cum out of a carpet like this.”

“You know from experience?”

Eddie dropped to his knees. "I made an educated guess. So. Mouth. Yes or no?"

"Yes," Steve replied, unbuttoning his own pants. "Jesus, yes."

Eddie's mouth was even better than Steve's imagination gave him credit for. They only need three of the minutes they had for Steve to finish, and another two minutes of Steve's hand working Eddie over for him to finish, too.

"You could've said something sooner," Eddie said as he tried to fix his hair. "Or just kissed me one of those times you were trying to stare through my lips."

"I didn't think I was being that obvious before today," Steve said as he tucked his shirt back into his pants and slid his vest back on.

"Sweetheart, you've been obvious since day one. I've just been waiting for you to realize that you needed to make a move," Eddie crowded him against the desk, hands on his hips and a playful smile on his face.

Steve watched his lips the entire time.

"Like that," Eddie continued, raising a finger to trace along Steve's lips. "You watch them when you don't even realize you are."

"Sorry."

"Don't apologize, Stevie. Love it," Eddie kissed the corner of his mouth before stepping back. "You better get back before Robin comes in here and glares at us until we catch on fire or something."

"You comin' over after I get off?"

"You just got off," Eddie joked. "But yes. As long as I can actually help you in the shower."

"Help me? Or distract me?"

"It can be both!" Eddie opened the door and held it for Steve to go through. "I'll take care of you."

Steve smiled to himself as he walked away. "I'm sure you will."

[dragondemoness]

Kyoko kirigiri with a male reader that has the power to save and load and uses it during the killing game to save everyone.

This turned out way longer than I expected, but hope you like it 😆

Also, I wrote this a fat minute ago, but I forgot to post it while thinking that I did, so sorry about that 😅

Kyoko Kirigiri with a Male S/O who can Save and Load Progress Like a Video Game

Much like Kyoko, you didn't seem to have a labeled talent

You either didn't have an Ultimate Title, refused to talk about it, or simply forgot

Kyoko was interested in you for that reason, and even though she couldn't place it, she felt... Strangely connected to you

You progressed through the killing game together, and after some time, you and Kyoko grew even closer

Little did she know, you were actually completely aware of what you could do

You had the uncanny ability to rewind time to where you last marked it, reminiscent of saving progress in a game and resuming it

After the killing game was announced, you kept saving progress like a maniac

Every morning and every night, just in case

You were able to successfully prevent deaths, but of course, more victims and blackeneds kept appearing

It was quite disheartening to see, so you decided to continue saving, but not load it back until the killing game reaches the end

You were the only one who was conscious of every rewind, but Kyoko started to become suspicious

As secretive as she appeared to the others, you were somehow even more so

You were both singled out by Byakuya for not revealing your talents, but she noticed that you didn't insist that you forgot yours like she did

Something felt off to her, and she couldn't help but feel that you knew something she and the others didn't

And after uncovering more secrets and finally learning her Ultimate Talent, she was sure you had one too

She confronted you, and you finally admitted what you could do, and what you have done

Kyoko was flabbergasted, and naturally doubtful at first

Since you were the only one who remembered every event before rewinding, you explained in detail who the previous victims were, their killers, and even their weapons and clues they left behind

THEN you managed to convince Kyoko

It was a pretty intriguing talent, and she wondered how you managed to convince her father to let you into Hope's Peak, considering how bizarre it all sounded

Then she figured you could just rewind time if he refused you, though you couldn't remember regardless

Kyoko asked you not to rewind time unless it was absolutely necessary, since you were both close to uncovering the secret of the school, and she didn't want to lose that progress

You then proceeded to compare her to a gamer who forgot to save their progress, which earned an unamused stare from her, though you could see her trying to hide a smile

Fast forward to the Mukuro Ikusaba trial, where everything was going wrong and Kyoko was on her way to execution

You swore to rewind time so you could undo it, though watching your partner get crushed to death was no picnic

True to your word, you brought her back, and soon enough, your talent was finally brought to light

Everyone gave you shocked looks as Junko, who constantly teased you as Monokuma for being a nobody, was practically seething in rage

All her despair could have been undone, and she was grasping at straws to get you executed

But naturally, it wasn't possible whatsoever, and she was dragged to her execution screaming in rage

Your classmates asked if you could rewind to the day the Tragedy started, but the problem was since you couldn't remember that day at all, you weren't sure if you could do that

It was like deleting a save file, never to be recovered

You also worried about undoing your relationship with Kyoko, but she only gave you a kind smile as she took your hands and insisted that she was sure that wouldn't be a problem

With that in mind, you rewinded to the previous day, and went backwards to every single save point until everything suddenly turned white

You soon found yourself at classic Hope's Peak, and thankfully, you remembered everything about the killing game

You wasted no time in stopping Junko and halting her plans for world takeover

Everything was normal again, and all your friends and classmates were safe

And more than that, you didn't lose your relationship with Kyoko at all, instead just reverting back to its original stage

[lostinthewoods1991]

Rocket Science???

The other day, I was watching a yesteryear actress recount the distressing details of how she was sexually exploited at the tender age of eighteen, how a man, who was way older than her and in a position of power, groomed her into being his sex slave. While I was happy to see comments under the video that expressed solidarity and support, I was disappointed to see a few comments that took to victim shaming and blaming, as always. Despite her articulation of the experience being crystal clear, some people still seem to have a hard time wrapping their heads around the idea that somebody can feel emotionally and mentally trapped in abusive and exploitative relationships such as these. "If she didn't want it, why didn't she say no"? "Why is she saying it now, after so many years"? "If she didn't resist, it means she wanted it too. Isn't she now playing the victim to gain fame and attention"? Ever since discussions on the Hema Committee Report have surfaced, I've been coming across these comments and seeing them makes my blood boil, every single time. No matter how many times one explains this, why do some people still act like it's way beyond their comprehension? Are they completely devoid of the mental faculties needed to grasp emotional complexities and nuances? I do not know. You have a problem with it? Say no. React instantly. Fight. Be brave. How simple. The onus is still on the victims to stop bad things from happening to them because "men will always be men" I guess? Nothing new, I know.

Coming back to the interview with the said actress, I couldn't help but think of two incidents in my life where I was unable to comprehend/process/respond to what was happening to me in the moment. One was years ago, back when I was in college. I was going somewhere, by bus. To my left side, next to where I was sitting, there was a man standing. I wouldn't even have noticed him if what happened afterwards didn't happen. Somewhere along the way, the bus suddenly jolted forward after a halt and to my horror, I felt the man's hand searching for my chest. I looked up and he withdrew his hand. I noticed he was an old man. Even the hair on his hand had greyed. I assumed it was a mistake. Perhaps, it was just the old man's hand being shaky. Maybe he didn't know where to hold when there was a sudden brake. However, the next time there was a jolt, his hand came searching again and his palm literally cupped around one of my breasts. This time, his hand felt stronger, more sure of what it was clutching at. I remember the rage that welled up inside me. I impulsively pushed his hand away so hard that it hit the iron handle in front of me. That's all I did. I didn't even have the strength to look up. All I wanted was to get out of the bus. I got up and somehow gathered the courage to turn around and look at the man. He didn't seem to even notice me anymore. I remember feeling confused. Perhaps, it was a mistake indeed? How's he pretending to have done nothing? Isn't he the person who did it? Or was it somebody else? I wanted to confront him but my voice wouldn't come out. It was almost as though I had lost my ability to speak, like I had even forgotten every language I knew. When I got down from the bus, the world was a blur. My whole body was in a state of shock. I don't even remember the rest of that day. All I remember was my shocked and confused state of mind. I think I wondered for days if it was a mistake, rewinding, trying to remember the manner of his touch, not wanting to acknowledge it at the same time. My mind kept oscillating between denial and horror. Years later, when I narrated this incident to my brother, the first question he asked was, obviously, "why didn't you react?". All I know is, it had taken all my strength to even push that wretched hand away and that too, impulsively. I only wanted to get out of the bus. I am not somebody who is comfortable confronting strangers and besides, I wasn't feeling entirely sure if that was the man who touched me, given his ignorance looked so genuine it even made me wonder if I made up the whole thing inside my head.

The second memory comes from a more personal space, which blurs the lines between right and wrong even more. I assume (or rather, hope) that most people would think of their first kiss as a good memory. For me, it only brings about feelings of shame, confusion and self-loathing. I remember it was a moment where I was feeling vulnerable, but not so vulnerable that I would want somebody to go out of their way to comfort me. I was talking about something that concerned me and was in need of some emotional support for sure. I remember leaning in for a hug and that's all I wanted. This was a person I was hanging out with. I take responsibility for all the mixed signals I must have given to this person, owing to my own conflicted state of mind. In retrospect, I can clearly see that I wasn't, at any point of time, in love with him. Instead, I was forcing myself to feel things I didn't organically feel. I am able to say this with conviction today because I know a thing or two about love now. Or rather, I think I know who/what/how I am when I am in love. Back then, all I had was an experience from school that could hardly be called a relationship. I was naive enough to glorify it nevertheless. During the time I was hanging out with the said person, I was at a stage of my life where I was trying to redefine love in ways that seemed more sensible and mature to me. The fact that he was, probably without realising it, being forceful and demanding (yet another thing I recognised only in retrospect) clouded my judgement. Returning to the moment, I needed the hug. But, he proceeded to kiss me. I didn't believe we had reached a point of intimacy where I wanted it. I didn't want it but I couldn't say no. I don't think I realised I had the right to say no. I was already feeling as though I had no choice but to oblige, like I owed him something because he was trying to support me. There's the part of the interview where the actress mentions how she felt disgusted inside her head but her body still responded to the man's touch because of purely biological reasons. Because I had never been kissed before, my body responded to it but I remember wanting to vomit soon afterwards. Again, I take responsibility for all the parts where I myself must have come across as confusing to the person. This isn't to vilify anybody. I'm merely trying to say how such situations could involve things more than a simple "yes" or "no" could explain. While all that I felt was disgust, the person was quick to assume that I liked the kiss. Soon, I was asked why I wasn't willing to say I loved him even after I let him kiss me. My thoughts went haywire. Was I in love? Maybe I was and I was in denial? Maybe the affection I had for him could grow into love? I had affection for sure. Back then, I did think of him as a simple-minded, open-hearted, innocent person. Added to that, I was grateful for his company. Why would somebody want to spend so much time with me if that person didn't love me? Maybe this was what love was meant to be? If I said I didn't love him, wouldn't it look like I used him? Wouldn't that make me a horrible person? Besides, don't I owe love and availability to him? This was to become a pattern in the relationship. The things I did from a place of obligation, sense of duty and self-induced guilt were turned around by the person as "things I took from him". He convinced me that I was "taking" things from him when in my head, I was thinking I should "give" him atleast a few things he seemed to want, always feeling inadequate because I was shoving feelings down my throat and there was only so much shoving I could've done without wanting to throw up. To make things worse, I had manipulated myself into thinking that if not him, there was nobody else for me. I just had to be with this person. I had already built a mental prison for myself and started living my life inside it, telling myself it was for my own good.

Years later, when I told a friend about the kiss, about how I convinced myself that I had feelings for this person for the simple reason that my body had its reactions, she responded to it with empathy. I don't know what I would've done if there weren't people like her in my life who didn't offer me that kindness. All she said was, "Oh, you poor thing". This was the beginning of a relationship in which throughout the four-five years I was with him, I would always have a manual kept ready in my mind, every time I felt conflicted (which was, quite often). This person ticked all these boxes for me, so it was love indeed. While it looked simple enough, I think only I was aware of how much internal conflict I was battling in that relationship.

What I narrated is nothing, in comparison to the horrors the actress went through. I know there's no need to compare one person's bad experiences with another's but objectively speaking, I cannot even begin to imagine what she went through. There are women who low-key brag about how they reacted to things on the spot, how they shamed, exposed and confronted their abuser, how they said "no" right away. Good for them if they were able to do that. But, I wish they had empathy for the women who weren't able to do that. Not all of us have lived the same lives, we are all wired differently and we are, as such, emotionally complex beings. There are multiple factors that determine our responses to specific situations, the "choices" we seem to be making and the intensity in which we feel the things we feel. "If she didn't want it, she wouldn't have continued being in that relationship for years" - is an oversimplification of all such factors. We still have a long way to go when it comes to understanding realities like grooming, gaslighting, violation of consent, abuse and exploitation, to name a few. Today, I might be better equipped to say "no" but to insist that everybody needs to know it by default isn't fair. I end my rant by saying just this. If all this still comes across as rocket science to you, your conscience is probably in need of a rewiring.

[thegloweringcastle]

A Million Lifetimes

Happy holidays to @sideralwriting!! My dear, I appreciate your patience with me as I navigated life (& the gift swap) this holiday season. It has been SUCH a delight getting to know you these past few weeks and I look forward to hopefully staying in touch after the swap! I'm sorry this isn't my best work, but I hope you like it nonetheless. I tried my best to add small little details you might appreciate, and I know it's not great but I hope it may bring you some joy. <3

And the absolute biggest hug and thank you to @acotargiftexchange for being so patient with me - I'm sorry I had to be *That Person* this year. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart<3<3<3<3<3

No warnings to be found! Just silly feysand fluff and shenanigans.

_~_~_~_~_~_~_

Many people use the holidays as a time to reflect on all which has changed. Some measure how much they’ve grown as individuals, others use it as a way to mark the end of a long, grueling year - seeing the short break as a way to signify a year’s worth of change and prompt improvement for the months between the next holiday.

Feyre and Rhys, on a similar note, liked to use it as a way to track how many times they have found each other, over and over again.

***

This time the wind blew gently; not hard enough to urge people inside, but not so gentle that it went unnoticed. In the crowded holiday market of Velaris, two people huddled closer together, sharing heat and smiles.

“I’m just saying,” Feyre’s words formed between them as frosty clouds. “I still think that the winter we spent in Greenland was better than the one in London.”

“But Feyre darling,” Rhysand’s words were not as clear as Feyre’s, thanks to the scarf he kept tight around his face. “London!” 

“Yes, London, but it was early nineteenth century London and we had just run into each other - quite literally - from slipping and sliding through sewage.”

“Oh, darling, you forget how I so smoothly saved us from certain doom.” He tugged the scarf away from his face, rewinding it around both of them.

“You didn’t save my shoes, that’s for certain.” She huffed. “All I’m saying is I believe you’re looking at it through rose-colored lenses.”

He chuckled. “I’m not going to win, am I?”

“No, my love. You’re not.” She offered him a pat on the cheek - a consolation.

They wandered between stalls of vendors, watching the holiday lights and decorations in quiet awe. Feyre itched to blend the colors together on canvas, perhaps make a mashup of every holiday she’d ever spent with Rhys. There would be golds and reds from the market they currently walked through, but there would also be greys and browns and greens. Light and shade, with a fair share of tears to balance out the smiles. It would be… chaotic. And perfect. A strange, haphazard image that perfectly depicted their lives. 

She tugged on his hand, drawing them to a stop in front of a Bavarian craftsman.

“What about that christmas in Germany?”

“That was a pretty good year. Bloody cold though.” He shivered, as if just the thought of it sent chills down his spine. “I think it’s still one of my favorites of our firsts. It was refreshing to see you so at ease. Remember how simple it was that year?”

Yes, Feyre remembered that life well. It was among her favorites, she supposed; one of their cozier lives.

***

Feyre could feel the cold seeping through the window of the train even on the farthest side of her bench. Her lace gloves didn’t do much other than look pretty, and not for the first time she grew irked at women’s fashions for being so terribly impractical. Sure, petticoats galore were plenty warm in such low temperatures, but not very easy to maneuver; and narrow-heeled boots weren’t especially stable in slush and ice.

Nonetheless, she was enjoying her travels. Watching the world blur past the window was meditative - reassuring. There may not have been much left for her to escape, but being on the move was the only way to ensure peace and quiet - and the only way for her to feel less adrift in her search for… whatever it was she thought was missing.

The train drew to a halt, wheels screeching against the tracks as it stopped for a station in Munich. The hustle and bustle of people unboarding began immediately, luggage being jostled down the aisle and people rushing past. It was a wonder Feyre even noticed the booklet which tumbled to the floor - she wouldn’t have, if it hadn’t fallen from the pocket of a man with violet eyes.

She leaned over, snatching it during a break in the crowd while trying to keep track of her stranger. Right before he stepped off, his gaze found hers.

Her heart tugged, and before she knew it, Feyre was out of her seat - belongings snagged at the last minute - and braving the crowd to follow the man with violet eyes. The notebook couldn’t have been more than thirty pages or so, yet it sat heavy in her hand as she navigated the crowded station, ducking between people and dodging around suitcases. Feyre realized that she had lost sight of her stranger, but there was a sense of urgency she couldn’t shake. It wasn’t until she was panting for air and had almost certainly gone in circles that she slumped onto a bench, setting her things down with a clatter and letting the book fall open on her lap.

She knew it was rude to look, but it was unlikely that she would find the owner to return it. One peek couldn’t hurt; if it was a grocery list - well, nothing terribly personal there. If it was notes, or perhaps a novel in the making… She was an artist too. It would be fine.

Still, she wasn’t quite prepared for what she found on that random, worn page.

In that icy chill

Of those depthless blue eyes

I see only warmth

I wonder

How might it feel

To succumb to you

Adrift in your blue

“There you are,” A voice deep as night stood out over the din of the train station. “From the train. I’ve been looking for you.”

Feyre snapped the book shut with a resounding thwack and stood abruptly, only to be pinned in place by a pair of violet eyes. 

“I’ve been looking for you too. For a while, I think.” She held out the journal. “This is yours?”

“Indeed. Thank you for finding it for me.” Their hands overlapped, making it impossible for Feyre to let go.

“This may sound odd, but for quite some time I’ve been looking for something I think I lost. You seem to be good at finding things,” She could listen to his voice forever. “Perhaps you could help me once more?”

Even as he asked, the pieces began to fall into place. Sounds of past lives ringing through to the present, urging her to hang onto him. Memories returned to both of them, and his grip moved from the journal to her hand. 

“Of course.” She smiled, watching carefully for a crinkle around his eyes. “I would love to.”

***

“I have to admit, all those skirts were warm, but they sure were a pain to deal with when nature called.”

Rhys’ laugh boomed between the aisles of vendors. “And it made it much more challenging to undress y-”

“That’s enough!” She clapped a hand over his mouth before he could say anything too filthy. “We are in public, Rhys!”

He smirked. “I wasn’t going to say anything.”

“Yeah, sure you weren’t.”

“I think it’s you who let her dirty mind get carried away.” His grin was impish.

“If I have a dirty mind it’s only because you’ve rubbed off on me.”

He put his hands up, surrendering. “Whatever you say, love.”

They wandered some more between vendors, debating over their favorite holidays together and which first-meeting was their best.

“I thought it was funny when your friend introduced us,” It was a memory that Feyre often thought of, no matter how plain it might have been. “Not sure if it was the best, but it was… normal.” Out of everything, that had to count for something, right?

Rhys laughed loudly, grabbing her hand even tighter. “And he kept meddling in our business no matter how clear we made it that we were together.”

“It was flattering to know he thought we went well together, at least.” She wagged a finger at him, laughing slightly. “At least it was better than the one where you saved me from being burned at the stake. That was pretty horrid, wasn't it?”

He pulled her close, teasing and hinting at a kiss. “At least I got to play hero for you.”

“Oh,” She dragged it out. “That’s right, because we were early in the game and I was, at the time, still half convinced you were a complete prick. Yes, you did need those extra points.”

He hummed, half in amusement and half in agreement. “What about that one we spent at that inn? That was one hell of a time.”

“The place with the armadillos?” She shivered. “Unfortunately, I do remember that.”

***

Feyre did not like the high desert for two reasons. Reason one: The air was too dry, it hurt her skin and chapped the inside of her nose. Reason two: there were too many creepy crawling critters that wanted either to kill her, to eat her, or to steal her body heat.

It didn’t matter if it was winter and most animals had either migrated or gone into hibernation underground. She did not. Like. The. desert.

“Almost there, darlin’.” Rhys encouraged, ignoring the fact that she had just chewed him out in an hour-long tangent for “dragging her into the middle of nowhere for a single, stupid job in the blasted desert during a snowstorm”.

“I thought the desert didn’t get snow.” Feyre was pouting. She knew she was pouting. Unfortunately, she was too uncomfortable to care.

“This is the high desert, love. It’s a bit more dramatic than what we’re used to.”

“Rhys,” She pulled their horses to a stop and faced him. It was getting harder to see as the snowfall grew heavier. “Please tell me we’re close. I don’t want to cut this life short, I especially don’t want to cut this life short because of one stupid decision.”

“I promise you, darlin’, we’re not far.” He turned to face forward, pulling out his compass. “There’s a small town just around this bend. We’ll stay there ‘till this weather clears up.”

Feyre didn’t waste her energy responding - she wanted a hot drink and soft bed now. 

Sure enough, Rhys hadn’t been lying. There was a town - small and rundown though it was, Feyre was just grateful they wouldn’t freeze to death in the most miserable place on earth.

Rhys held the door for her, the two of them stepping into an inn and stomping the snow from their boots and shaking the ice from their scarves and coats. 

“Howdy there and welcome, I’m Shirley and I sure am happy to see you. What can I do for you lovely folks tonight?”

Feyre looked up from where she was struggling to undo her buttons, ready to charm the lovely owner for a room, before letting out a startled gasp.

The woman - Shirley - held an armadillo to her chest as one might hold a cat or puppy. A snake rested coiled on the hearth, another few armadillos trundled between tables at the restaurant. Other patrons sat at the bar normally, seemingly unconcerned with the lizards crawling around the counters.

“W-we um-”

“Howdy ma'am.” He stuck his hand out, not once looking at the armadillo the lady held. “The name’s Rhysand, this here’s my lovely wife Feyre. We got caught in the snow and were hoping you might be able to spare a room for the two of us?”

“Of course! I hope you two don’t mind cacti too much. Any concerns? You know what, doesn’t matter. I’ll grab a key and show you two on up!”

“That’s perfect. Thank you, ma’am.” 

Not even thirty minutes later they had gotten a room and were getting ready for bed. Or, Rhys was getting ready for bed. 

“Rhysand, you know I love animals. I adore animals. I do not, however, adore snakes. Or any desert dwelling creatures. They're gross, and dusty, and out to get you. Remember that Christmas in Australia? Boiling hot and everything was trying to kill us.”

“But darling, that’s Australia.”

“That’s irrelevant!” She huffed. “My point is, I want to celebrate our first christmas in this life somewhere other than an Inn filled with wild animals.”

He grabbed her hands, stopping her pacing and making her meet his gaze. “We will. I promise.” 

Sure enough, the storm had passed by the time they woke in the morning. They were up and at’em in a hurry, Rhys’ compass taking them to the next town over in time for a holiday spent indoors, together, and most importantly away from wild animals. 

***

“I think I still have that compass, somehow. I remember finding it again in an antique shop in that area a few lives ago, then I tucked it away for safekeeping - and the future. Sort of like you do with our rings.”

At the mere mention, Feyre brought hers up to the light. It glimmered beneath the street lamps, scratched and nicked from centuries of wear. Some people may have been bothered if their wedding rings had been so damaged, but Feyre just saw it as lives well lived and loved.

She shrugged. “So that may not have been my favorite, but it wasn’t the worst. In hindsight, it was a more entertaining year, so I can’t hate it.”

Rhys’ shit-eating grin dimmed, shade by shade. “I know which one was my least favorite.”

It was Feyre’s too.

They both sobered and held one another a little bit closer.

*** 

In all of their lifetimes, through dozens of centuries, it was the longest they had been apart; the loneliest they had ever been, too. 

War had a tendency to do that.

In this particular life Feyre had been teaching art classes at an elementary school, biding her time while waiting for something. Someone. There was a pain in her heart amplified by a holiday season spent alone. It felt like every day the rain would just fall and fall and fall, unbroken by sunshine or snow. Even ice would have been welcome - anything to cut through the long, unending shadows. 

She sat in a late night diner, avoiding returning to an empty apartment while sipping burnt coffee over a half-finished portrait of a man with raven hair and violet eyes. Something familiar, someone unknown. Behind the counter a server switched the radio to a news channel broadcasting the latest updates from overseas. 

Had she known that her next life would be so much fuller, she might not have been so hopeless. Had she known that, a lifetime from then, memories would come rushing back and the stranger in her painting would not be so strange, she might have been less disturbed by the sheer number of renditions she had made of the same man.

Alas, she did not know these things. She didn’t even know the cruel twist of the universe - the war? -  taking from her the man she didn’t know she waited for. And so for many many more nights she sat in silence with a tepid, burnt coffee (she preferred hot chocolate) and endless half-finished portraits, always hoping for the rain to stop.

***

Children rushed past them, dodging around holiday shoppers and festival booths with shocking agility. Silence hung between them like a clock’s pendulum at its peak, ready to come falling down at any second.

He squeezed her hand. “It made our next-first-meeting even better, I would say.”

Sparkling lights of all different colors turned to smudges in the background as Feyre focused her gaze on Rhys; on his violet eyes. Some things about him had changed, especially after the war, but his eyes stayed the same. The way he smiled with his entire being remained the same. Reliable. Constant.

“I think I would have to agree.”

***

With time their memories would fade. They would begin again, growing into new lives and apart from each other, but they were inevitably always nudged back together. And each time, they remembered one another a bit more easily.

So when Rhys settled in after the war and his new neighbor felt like home, all he needed was a light push in the right direction.

That day in particular had been windy and icy. Roads were closed, businesses were shut down, students were off of school. The universe handed Rhys an excuse to seek out his neighbor on a silver platter: the power went out, and Rhys knew his apartment was the only one with a classic wood-burning fireplace.

She answered after only the first knock.

“I have hot chocolate at my apartment and a working fireplace - if you need. Hot water too.”

Her gaze was soft, and she didn’t hesitate before agreeing.

They kept that year simple, soft, easy. It’s what they needed - something comforting. She stayed even many hours after the power had gone back on and the world had returned to operating in full-swing. They fell into easy company as years long since passed came rushing back, and a new promise was made to never be separated for that long.

***

They still had yet to break their promises.

“I thought that was very domestic, even for you.” Feyre grinned, exchanging a few coins for a small cone of roasted chestnuts.. “But I wonder if maybe we’d earned it. So many different adventures and lifetimes… maybe it’s good that we finally have the time for things like hot chocolate and wood fires. And roasted chestnuts.”

His lips turned up, the creases around his eyes softened. “Maybe you’re right.”

When it inevitably grew too cold outside and even their shared scarf and intertwined hands weren’t enough to keep them warm, the couple navigated through the crowded streets towards their shared townhouse. 

Cozy, small, but most importantly - theirs. 

He took her jacket, she put away his hat. He put the kettle on, she got their mugs and measured out the tea. They moved fluidly together, silently; familiar over so many different lives spent together. It wasn’t until they had settled in together on the couch, warmed pumpkin beside steaming tea on the coffee table, that Feyre spoke again.

“I still don’t know which of our holidays is my favorite. Maybe I don’t have one.”

Rhys reached out to tuck a lock of her hair behind one ear, cupping her face with the movement. “My favorite one is the one with you.”

“That’s most of them - I don’t think that counts as any single one, as romantic as it is.” She placed a kiss on his cheek. “But you sure are a sweet talker.”

“Then it’s this one, right here, right now, with you. When we can finally have forever.”

***

In every one of their meetings and partings, Rhys and Feyre fell together into one single life. Whether it grew from eye contact across a supermarket, a quick handshake in a business meeting, or simply bumping shoulders on a crowded sidewalk, and no matter how it ended, there was another life waiting for them. Homes to be lived in and loved, holidays to be spent bundled up together in a bubble outside of time.

It was the general consensus between the two of them: The best lives were the ones spent together.

[creepichan]

My dream about Logan, Thomas, Virgil and Orange

Okay so. I had a dream about a new episode and was so raw and cool, i had to write it down somewhere.

Note: in my dream i was so excited that I jumped to parts of the episode, not being able to watch it in one piece. It also had an unimportant sideplot so the “scene” has cuts here and there.

Thomas has some problem and orange starts to take over. Framing orange as „rage“. But Thomas is unaware of this and just gets angrier every day

At one point he sits at a table with virgil and talks with him about smth. Until Thomas breaks out in a lighthearted chuckle and says:

„Oh virgil, thats why from all the sides I hate you the most“ Smiling calmly, as if he didnt just drop the rawest line of the whole series.

And virgil is understandably shocked and doesn‘t know how to respond

Then commercial break. Side plot stuff happens until there is a cut back to the mainplot.

Later same setting but with Logan. Thomas called him because Logic would surely be able to help him.

Thomas wasn‘t understanding himself. Why he was so angry at seemingly nothing. Why he told virgil that he hated him. He was angry and yet panicked.

Logan listened to him rant but felt the orange aura pressing into the foreground. Within Thomas and himself.

At one point Logan knew he had to leave. So he stood up and tried to brush Thomas off.

„Nope sorry thomas, nothing that can be done“

„But can‘t we-„

„I apologize, you‘ll have to figure that one out yourself. I am no help here“

Which he said very fastly, as his main focus was to get out of the situation. Leaving Thomas by himself and his turmoil of feelings.

(Also a little detail, during the whole thing Logan was stressed out too but did a good job at hiding it. He even had his tie untied and hanging over his shoulders. He looked like he didnt get much sleep)

From here on out I was freaking out with excitement, since I felt a plot arc coming I had anticipated for a long time. So i kept rewinding to watch scenes again. And hovering my cursor to different parts of the timeline and seeing little previews. So this is why I only remember the following in little parts of different scenes:

⁃ Logan in the bathroom, having his Jekyll and Hyde moment with Orange.

⁃ Logan trying to calm himself

⁃ Logan puking out something orange

⁃ Logan trying to clean his shirt and making himself presentable again

⁃ Stitching his tie back together again

⁃ Only slowly calming down again and managing to separate himself from the anger

While all of this, Thomas is talking with his therapist and friends. Making him slowly calm down again and returning to his normal self. Which was the reason for orange letting go of Logan again.

Then i woke up. I got too excited xD

The reason I was so hooked on this was because we could see a direct connection between Thomas and his sides. Orange not only influencing the side but Thomas and his behavior as well. And vice versa too!

We saw Thomas as this angry, violent and out-of-character person. Which felt really intense. Also seeing Logan lose control like that was… something.

So yes. Im sorry if this makes little sense. I wrote this right after waking up so i wouldn’t forget.

[capricious-bastard13]

I've watched Jack's (Jacksepticeye's) playthrough of MyHouse.Wad, and at first, because I only heard of Doom and never played it, I let it play in the background. Until Jack's voice starts reading the attached letter to the game.

My thought immediately went, "This is something, and I feel like I'll like this something." I rewind it and watched it from the very start to the end. But I felt it wasn't all that it was, I bounced from his to the comments, explaining the game and all being recommended to play it for yourself. I don't have the resources to do so, so when I saw a comment about a video explaining it, I looked it up. The video lays out the house and the different ways you can go from point a to point b. I've seen Power Pak's after watching Jack's playthrough. And just now, I've watched Pyrocynical's video and theory on it.

There's two that stood out to me, near the end; he lays out the theories and practically dismisses the queer interpretations of it. Until now, I've always been in the camp of "Thomas and Steve were a couple, but due to the time period, or their families, they kept it hidden." When watching Pyro's video, I started realising, why were there pills on the bathroom floor, why the crib, the ring? And I felt like Pyro was nearly there, he was so close to putting it together.

But he dismisses Thomas perhaps being trans or that Steve and Thomas are gay--calls a "fat stretch" and "Level difficulty: Medium" respectively.

I've prefaced all this, because as someone who's transmasc, it felt invalidating. For months I've seen this game--although I never played it and only watched it--as a queer story of grief and loss, of processing that loss, of going through stages of denial, of reliving memories, of just wanting to reach an end where you feel at peace, of looking back on that journey and thinking to yourself that you've made it--past the hardships to a place where you can feel at peace again.

MyHouse.wad being as ambiguous as it is but leaving all these little tidbits is as when it comes to art, hard to piece together. But hearing about how there's also a trans interpretation of made me perk up, thinking, "oh, it's going to be talked about in detail," only to be disappointed.

So, despite being that MyHouse.wad has probably had this interpretation ("tHeOrY") put up already, I still felt compelled to write my own view on it using the pieces that I know of--but, there might be details that I describe vaguely because I don't remember them all that much.

We get tiny little small glimpses of Thomas through Steve's entries, of introduction we get along with the link to download it. And even just from the descriptions of the items in the game like the ring, the die, and whatnot. And the first thought is, "oh, they're gay, but they're not out," which is a sad thought, yes. But I held that interpretation close to me. It's a journey of Steve trying to get through his grief, of plunging in to his thoughts, dismantled and breaking apart as they are. The rawness of everything, of how for him, it probably felt so fresh still and this game, of going through their mod map is his way of processing--never mind how it consumed him, as he said.

And what I consider to be the best ending; the real beach, with a heart on the sand, initials--"S and A, forever". Who's 'A'? Isn't it supposed to be 'T' for Thomas?

I've seen how 'A' could be for "Allord", Thomas' last name, and at the time, yeah, maybe it is A for Allord. But what if it isn't? What if 'A' is the deadname--using that initial, despite it being a deadname, was probably used to protect them, protect him-Thomas. To be seen a heteronormative couple to get away from the hate, the stares, the animosity.

What about the excerpt of their death? Thomas' photo clearly being of a man? Well, that's just it. It's an indication of how the family has accepted Thomas for who he is and to honor him properly, used what a photo of what he looks like now, of who he really is. Proudly too, showing him as Thomas Allord, age 35, in the newspapers. This is their son, brother, and husband.

This is certainly something that will be labeled as a "fat stretch". The crib, then? The pills? And the bloodied bathroom? Perhaps, Thomas had gotten pregnant, experienced a miscarriage in the airport bathroom and had to be rushed to the hospital. As Steve puts in the description of the baby bottle; "It wasn't meant to be." And as he writes in his journal entry, he had a dream, a baby crying in the attic, in the crib, a still born baby.

Perhaps, Thomas was ready to carry the baby--their baby and due to complications, what happened, happened. They'd already bought the crib, but put it away, and we see, maybe both of them had hope that they still had a chance, clinging on.

"If Steve and Thomas are together as you say, then why does Steve refer to Thomas as "my friend" or "my childhood friend"?" Living through life closeted brings habits, unfortunately.

I've grown up without realising that I'm trans, and it was only the past few years where I've realised that the gender I was given and raised to be, isn't who I am. Despite my family knowing, they still call me with feminine pronouns, I get referred to as "sister", or "she/her" a lot of the times. And it's become the biggest norm for me that they just fly by my head without even noticing it, without getting the chance to say "that's not my pronouns".

Is this a "weak" point of the "theory"? No, because I see it as valid. People who aren't out or don't have the chance to express who they are live day to day with being misgendered, seen as someone they're not. I don't want to say, "everybody experiences this" or that there are people who don't go through intense dysphoria that it becomes crippling; I'm just saying, that for me, this is how my day to day is today, what it's like--a sort of cynical indifference to it that boils beneath the surface of my skin.

Or, this is Steve's way to be ambiguous; Thomas was Steve's friend first before they reunited, gotten married, lived together, after all.

Maybe, he wanted to detach himself in his grief and longing. A way to protect himself from the immense loss he's going through and this is his way of doing that. By saying that Thomas was just a childhood friend, it probably eased the pain just a bit.

Or, Power Pak states in his video, isn't it strange how explicit names are never--if ever, rarely-- given. Thomas' name doesn't show up until February of 2023. Steve's name is never used. Maybe, Steve wasn't the one who wrote the journal; a third party who saw the effects of loss on Steve, instead?

In the newspaper clipping of Thomas' life, it's stated how he reconnected with his high school crush, got married and moved in with his partner. The ambiguity could mean that the family simply didn't want bigots to be bigots toward their loved one.

In Steve's clipping detailing his life, he also reconnected with his high school crush. "Soulmate", this person is described as. And like with Thomas', "partner" is used, rather something explicit like, "husband" or "wife."

Although, "wife" can't be correct either since Steve doesn't have a partner listed who outlived him, simply his family.

With MyHouse.wad being as up for interpretation as it is, there's ways of reading into things, one can take it however way they want to, where they want to.

And I, personally, like to think that Steve and Thomas are happy together, with their cat, cuddled up together in their home.

You picked up Die. "Roll for intercourse?"

I feel so helpless, like I can't do anything to bring him back. I feel so sad and it feels like my heart is heavy. I can't help but think about all of the fun times we had together growing up. All of our adventures, our secrets, and even our arguments. I miss him so much and I can't believe he's gone.

You picked up Ring. "I do."

I attended the funeral of my childhood friend, and I was overwhelmed with grief. As I looked around at everyone else in the room, I could feel the sadness in the air... I never imagined that I would be saying goodbye to my friend so soon.

You picked up Wine Bottle. "Drunk Buddy." You picked up a Bauble. "Christmas makes me happy."

Happy Valentines day to the only person I ever loved. For a short time, you brought a little happiness to this painful existence called life. I hope we can be together again one day.

You picked up Baby Bottle. "It wasn't meant to be." You picked up Pill Bottle. "Refill needed." You picked up Full Pill Bottle. "Feelin' fine."

You picked up Game Controller. "It's my turn."

Somewhere, in another dream, the version of myself that winked back is sitting on the real beach, happy and content, knowing life is finite, there is no afterlife, and happiness is found in the small things around us that we can control. Happiness has to be fought for.

[acaplaya-musings]

Voiceplay Visuals: Friends On The Other Side

This was one I was ridiculously eager to get to, because it is an absolute visual treat!!! Layne and the rest of PattyCake Productions really went all out with this video, and I think that it might actually be the most movie-accurate video for a Disney cover that Voiceplay has ever done (and although some things are changed, it's all so amazingly cool that you don't care in the slightest!). Also J None came back for this one to take the lead as Dr Facilier! Heck yeah! Let's get into this! (Oh and nearly forgot to mention: this was uploaded in mid-October of 2021 and was Voiceplay's Halloween upload for the year).

We got Cesar as Prince Naveen (perfect casting btw) (also he looks a bit different without more of a beard, but I don't hate it), and Eli as Lawrence, Naveen's servant (also another Eli Eyebrow Raise! And a strong one, too!)

PattyCake Productions has their own YouTube channel where they create videos based around Disney movies and Disney characters (often writing original songs for them) and it shows. They really went off with the costuming and set design (better than Disney would do with a live-action version of their own, almost definitely)

(Also peep Geoff lurking in the background, which I don't think any reactor has noticed when watching the video)

A more full-body look at J's costume (and cool staff!), plus Geoff and Layne as voodoo spirits! (Also note how Geoff is, once more, the one with the most-exposed arms/shoulders (love that for him 👌)

Geoff was asked on a Patreon Q&A or something like that if the thumb-down-the-side-of-the-head movement had any meaning to it, but no, he just thought it up himself as a little interesting/spooky/cryptic gesture (I mean... it worked??)

(Also there's so much detail to his outfit and I love it! The subtle patterning on the vest! The things that may or may not be fingerless gloves! The metal boney-finger things hanging off the shoulders! All the things around his neck! (And yes, he's still wearing the necklace he wears all the time)

And shoutout to Layne, who as you can see in the photo above this one, is wearing basically just as much stuff around his neck as Geoff, and he's got a (fake of course) bone through his nose as well? (I know the official audio is all overdubbed anyway, but I wonder how hard it is to beatbox with something like that on/in your nose?)

Now this is goddamned clever. How do you split the vocal lines of a single character up between multiple vocalists while still making it make sense in-universe? Well in this case, you have Dr Facilier work some voodoo magic so that he and/or the spirits are singing through Lawrence and Naveen, kinda sorta possessing them! The video is enhancing the song itself!!!

I actually went and watched the original Friends On The Other Side scene on YouTube (which I haven't done in ages), so I could better make comparisons, including screencap comparisons!

"I got voodoo-"

"-I got hoodoo-"

(also rip Hei Hei)

"-I got things I ain't even tried!"

Man they really did nail this, huh?

Also I just realised that after "Naveen's" little "I got friends on the other side" solo, while "Facilier" is echoing it as he sits down, "Lawrence" is attempting to get "Naveen's" attention with his eyes, and making facial expressions/head movements that can basically be summed up as "Hey! We need to leave! Now!"

(Seriously it often pays to focus on different people when rewatching Voiceplay stuff (or in my case when scanning for interesting/screencap-worthy moments, to rewind specific parts to focus on different people))

"The cards! The cards!"

Geoff was absolutely hamming it up during this section. It's kinda hilarious and I love it. Go off, my dude 😂😁

Very smooth editing!

Pfft 😆

(Also Eli's acting was phenomenal in this and I swear he kept one eyebrow raised for at least half the whole video)

I love the expression on Geoff's face here that no reactors have seemingly picked up on, like he's both expectant and eager for "the real fun" to begin

Also check out the details in Layne's outfit! It seems that he's got the same things on his shoulders as Geoff does (except over sleeves instead)

Geoff: "Oh yeah now it's my time to shine!"

Okay so I'm definitely counting those as fingerless gloves. Also shoutout to Eli for the lighting once more!

"Reformation central!"

There's a lot going on in this picture. And also this moment made more sense after I rewatched the original scene (just that Voiceplay are swapping out the amulet for a shrunken head (fair - it's probably a lot harder to find an amulet that bites 😂))

Firstly, nice bit of acting/visual storytelling from Eli and Cesar there, and secondly, hey that's the magic lamp from Aladdin in the background on the left there!

And I haven't talked about it a ton here, but J 100% understood the assignment when it came to playing Dr Facilier. He even did some of the same kinda dancing/moves as in the original scene, like the side-to-side head movement on "I hope you're satisfied" (it was so smooth!)

Man, what a video. Disney could NEVER

Voiceplay always does something mind-blowing for Halloween. It might not always be something you expect, but it's always something that gives us plenty to talk about!

[writtenbynath]

The lights in the livingroom were turned down low as they watched tv. Raf lounged in his recliner with one leg over the armrest and the other folded under him. His vibrant green tattoos contrasted with the black silk robe and black briefs he wore. Josie lay on the couch in her soft purple onesie, clenching a videogame-inspired stuffie against her chest. 

The animated show on the tv was violent and gory interspersed with vulgar humour that made them both chuckle on cue. When the scene turned suspenseful and the villain mind-controlled someone with shimmering magic in their eyes, Josie gripped her stuffie a little tighter and whimpered. Raf glanced at her but said nothing, keeping his eyes on the screen showing the character tremble as they fruitlessly struggled to fight off the magical power invading their mind. Quietly, Raf made mental notes of all the details that might have caused his Princess to whimper.

Josie made no attempt to hide her feelings as the scene unfolded on the tv, she gasped and let her mouth fall open when the screen focused on the villain's mesmerising eyes. She blushed at the convincing job the voice actors did to convey the mind-controlled character's helplessness and the villain's dominating presence, and at the compelling art that set the scene. When the scene concluded and the hapless victim crumpled to the floor at the villain's feet, Josie moaned.

"That's hawt…" she muttered as she sat up and zipped her onesie open, revealing her cleavage as she fanned herself. 

"Mmm hmm…" Raf shrugged noncommittally as he kept his eyes on the tv, where the action continued with the heroes swooping in to rescue the mind-controlled person from the villain's clutches.

Josie shifted on the couch, turning towards her husband as she batted her eyes at him. "Dragon… Is there anything else you'd like to do tonight?"

He paused the show and shifted, putting his feet down on the floor. "Did you have something in mind, Princess?"

"Oh, I don't know…" She turned to the paused screen as she ran her hands through her hair. She hesitated for a second and then reached for the remote. "Can I just rewind and see it again?"

He snatched the remote up before she could touch it and then leaned back as he played with it in his huge hands. "See what again?"

She wiggled and whined, flailing her hands at the screen. 

"Use your words, Princess." Raf grinned wickedly. "I don't understand what you're going on about."

First, she let out an exasperated sigh, then she threw her hands up in the air. In a high-pitched, fevered tone she started to rant. "Rafael Dragonskin, you motherfucker, you know how much mind control turns me on, and you know you've conditioned me so that whenever I'm horny, I get a little trancy and a lotta submissive, and that fucks with my ability to express what I want. Also, that scene must have turned you on as well, I know where your dirty mind goes and it's usually right fucking there, that's exactly where you want me, that hot shit is exactly what we like to do, so don't you pretend you need me to spell it out, because…"

"Princess." His deep voice cut her off in a commanding tone as he rose from his seat. "Come here."

She gasped and her eyes grew wide. Her breath quickened as she stood and walked meekly to the spot his hand indicated, where it immediately grabbed her shoulder, pushing her to turn her back to him.

She shuddered as she stood there, waiting for him. The rush of anticipation mixed with the fear of knowing she was in trouble. At least she was relieved from any eye-contact for now, that made things easier. The bashfulness and the shame about her mind control kink always made her bratty; sass was so much easier than being honest about her feelings. 

"Oh, Princess…" His voice was rich and low, giving her goosebumps as she felt his breath on the side of her neck. "I know that scene gave you all the feels. I know that you imagined yourself in their place. Caught. Defenceless. Vulnerable and exposed." His hand moved to the nape of her neck and then crawled up into her hair to make a fist and control her head.

As he forcibly tilted her head to expose her neck, she couldn't suppress a high-pitched moan. The delicious feeling of pressure as he grasped her hair tightly made her eyes roll up into her head. Everything went quiet; the urge to flail and struggle against the shame fell away, causing her arms to go limp and making her knees weak. 

With a hungry growl, he reached over with his other hand and yanked the zipper of her onesie all the way down. Held by the hair, her back was arched and the garment slipped off her shoulders to rest on her hips and around her wrists. He growled again as his free hand groped her now naked tits, carelessly caressing the nipples with his knuckles. 

A long drawn-out, wordless moan escaped her lips as she trembled under his touch. The still powerlessness of this moment made her slip into a trance in and of itself. There was nothing left for her to do, nothing she needed to think about. Nothing but surrender.

"Listen carefully, Princess. I know you can't take much more than this." His deep voice caressed her skin and crept up into her head. "Soon, you will pass out. And when you wake again, you'll be utterly mind-controlled, completely enthralled. I wonder what that would feel like. Will you be fascinated by my commanding voice? Will you be captivated by my alluring eyes? Will you be docile and submissive, or will you feel alarmed by your inability to resist me? I'm curious to find out. But first…"

His grip on her hair relaxed somewhat as he spoke, but now he gripped more firmly, exposing her neck once again so he could lean in for a hungry kiss. She gasped and melted in his arms, her knees turning to goo. He leaned forward and released her hair in order to gently let her sink down to the floor where she lay in a zonked heap. 

Raf paused for a second, taking a deep breath. His erection twitched in his briefs as he looked at her unconscious body on the floor. He straightened his robe and then sat back down in his seat. After a good ten seconds of just letting her lie there, he said: "Rise, Princess. Stand up."

He said 'rise', she realised as her legs shifted and she moved to sit with her hands on the floor. Her hands slipped out of the sleeves of the onesie, it became a loose-fitting, awkward pair of pants. He said 'stand up' not 'wake up', and she could feel that in her bones as they moved. She could feel it in her foggy head and in her dazed eyes as she opened them. She was not awake, no, this trance was something else…

She stood up and her glassy, unfocused eyes immediately found him, like there was a spotlight on his face. She noticed her breathing, faster than usual because of the arousal surging through her veins, but nothing else was going on. She stood and she waited for the next command, her mind blank, her body still except for the goosebumps on the naked skin of her chest. The serenity of being this submissive and controlled was unlike anything else she had felt before. Serene and so very aroused…

"Look at me." He commanded as he rose from his seat and stood in front of her.

Her eyes immediately and helplessly focused on his face, but no other part of her moved. She felt suspended in time and space, with this heat raging in her crotch.

"Let me tell you how this works, Princess." His rough hand reached out to tenderly caress her cheek and jaw. "The best conditioning works because there's a reward. Every time you obey me, you're rewarded with more of these delicious mind controlled feelings. Every time your body does exactly what I say, every time you think what you're commanded to think, you'll sink deeper into this mind-controlled state."

He grasped her wrists, one by one, and posed her arms stretched out in front of her, mumbling: "There. That's right. Deeper."

As she stood there, like a zombie, it was as if her brain injected a rush of happy, horny hormones into her bloodstream. Over the years of doing hypnokink, that word 'deeper' had become a trigger that took whatever feelings she experienced in that moment and then amplified them, like an immediate second dose on top of the first one. 

Raf nodded with approbation at the way her eyes crossed involuntarily and the way her body trembled with each breath. "Every time you obey me. Close your eyes."

Darkness engulfed her with another rush of exquisite pleasure and her mouth fell open as she moaned helplessly.

He gently pushed her arms down, one by one, waiting for her little shudder of pleasure to subside after each one, and then he touched her chin, moving her face to look up at him. "Take a deep breath and open your eyes, Princess. And then wake up all the way awake."

There was a sense of vertigo as she opened her eyes, as she saw his excited grin and realised what was going on. Then, the rush of submissive pleasure hit her like a weighted blanket being draped over her, and her eyes rolled up into her skill with another uncontrolled moan. All the way back down into trance, and then even deeper than before.

"Very good, Princess. Now come with me." He steadied her with a hand on her back as she swayed on her feet, and then guided her back to the couch where she sat down beside her with his arm around her shoulders. "Now do it again. Take a deep breath and open your eyes, waking all the way up for just a moment."

She didn't quite remember how she got to the couch. She looked at him, feeling woozy and confused, and then she felt the world fall away again as she sank down deeper into that submissive, mind-controlled trance.

"Good. So obedient." His deep voice was raw with passion as he quietly hugged her on the couch. "Now I want you to touch yourself. Your hand knows exactly how to do that and I bet your cunt is dripping wet. So obey me. Rub your clit until I tell you to stop."

Deep in her submissive bliss, she wasn't quite aware of her hands crawling into her onesie to start drawing little circles around her clit, so the roiling pleasure snuck up on her and she let out a deep, guttural moan.

"Now I want to see you do it again." His hot whisper made goosebumps run from the side of her neck all the way down her arm. "Take a deep breath and open your eyes, waking up all the way."

The realisation of what was happening came to her with a sharp intake of breath, seeing the thirsty look in his eyes, and noticing her hand between her legs, uncontrollably pleasuring herself. And then came that drop into deep surrender, her eyes rolling up as she groaned with raw need.

"I wonder how many times we can do this, Princess, before one of us can't stand it anymore." He whispered. "I can't wait to find out."

[strawberrystar7]

Ngl I am kinda jealous. I’m not from the USA so I don’t have access to the movie Ladybug & Cat Noir on Netflix. You guys can just watch it as many times as you want. We had a movie theater release of the movie in the country I live in, starting in the beginning of July. I went to the movie theaters on the first weekend the movie was out and it was nice. Don’t get me wrong, watching a movie in a movie theater on those massive screens is great. The movie was nice too. The animation was great and I loved the songs but I did have a few problems with the writing. I felt like it was a bit rushed in a sense. Not in the way that they took too little time to write the story but I felt like they put too much into the movie. I felt like some things should have been kept out and put in a second movie so that they could focus more on specific details without having to neglect other stuff. I did like the overall story and how it was portrayed, tho there was something about how Gabriel was handled that I didn’t like.

Gabriel couldn’t get himself to hurt his own son. Yes this makes him a more sympathetic father figure compared to the show but I feel like someone who would go so far to hurt an entire city for selfish reasons would also hurt their own family. The fact he didn’t just goes against everything I know and have experienced myself. And yes, I know that Gabriel in the beginning of the movie didn’t want to terrorize Paris but the thing here is that he got more and more corrupt the more he used the Miraculous. Someone who falls into that kind of corruption will eventually hurt their own loved ones. Maybe in the beginning he wouldn’t hurt his son but I feel like by the end of the movie he would have fallen down so far into this hole of corruption where his love for his son would not be enough to make him stop wanting to pursue his goals.

Anyway, Gabriel aside and while I do think the movie has it’s issues I also I think the movie is good. Maybe not the greatest but I think it’s good. I have to admit that while I had enjoyed watching the movie in the movie theaters back then I wish I could just open Netflix and watch the movie whenever I want. The only way for me to watch this movie legally for a second time would be to either go to the cinema again (the city I live in still has viewings of this movie) or to wait until they publish the movie for home video and streaming in my country but that usually takes a couple of months after the movie stopped airing in theaters. I mean there still are viewings of the movie at the movie theater in my city so I could technically go and watch it again but that would cost me around 10€ just for a one time viewing of the movie. It’s just not cost efficient. Homevideo or streaming would mean I either pay a monthly fee of around 10-12€ (streaming) or a onetime payment (DVD/Bluray) and could watch the movie as many times I want. So yeah… I’m kinda jealous of Americans since they have the Movie on Netflix. Idk I just want to rewatch the movie since there are some details that I simply can’t appreciate in the movie theater because you can’t exactly pause or rewind a movie in a theater.

[fictionfixations]

twst spoilers (im looking through this through the lens of twisted wonderland)

I have a bunch of movie DVDs so I’m watching them.

watched part of the little mermaid (i ended up stopping cause the rest of the audio after the deal was just gone and there were more and more frame freezes and cuts)

and then aladdin

Anyway since I’m on a twisted wonderland fixation I wanted to watch the movies I had. So I’m going through little mermaid. I don’t think I have the second

..there’s one at 80 mins. It says disc 1. The other is titled ‘Ariel’s beginning’ idk the difference??? apparently ariel's beginning is the third movie, and a prequel. i didnt get around to watching it cause at this point im tired)

Guppy is an insult (i swear ive heard floyd call someone a guppy but im not sure where)

THE TWEELS EYESSS (and the white glowed yellow???? Or is that an artistic choice??? i have no idea what they did because i couldnt hear them and i didnt figure out how to turn on subtitles or rewind )

I love the yellow fish so much (hes just explaining it while lacking so many details you cant really follow)

Triton a shit father???? No I hate the crab (hes. kind of a bad influence.)

Ariel can. Be out of water with her tail? And speak? And

breathe???????? huh!?

SHES ON SAND AND ISNT DRYING OUT??? (so her only problem with it is that shes not human. and thinks he'll only get with her if she's human. it feels kind of dumb but i guess it kind of isnt if they have this huge thing against merpeople but they dont even know they exist? although there could be negative consequences ofc if they did find out but i really dont think ariel's aware of that. or if she is, then whyd she go so close if she knows they could be a danger??? ???

..i mean. its better than signing away your best magic for TEST answers. and then working for the lounge for the rest of your years at school??? with probably no pay. like. seriously?? people just accept things?? i mean i know nrc wouldnt accept kindness. but. ..apparently accept azuls deals without reading...)

'Beautiful girl singing.' (or it was beautiful singing voice) (What if she was a siren???? like cmonn) I couldn’t hear what happened to Ursula that left her away from the others ngl

...Tritons really the kind of dad to destroy Ariel’s stuff when she reveals she’s in love with a human. Okay yeah I don’t take back my thought of him being a bad dad

Well it’s human stuff but srsly???

THE FAN TURNED ON (curse non-soundproof walls) DURING MEETING URSULA ('poor unfortunate soulsss') IM CRYING NOOOOO (i didnt know how to turn on subtitles. i only figured it partway around watching aladdin :( )

I can’t hear the deal :(

Weird that Ariel still got married (and had like the foundation thing that helps merpeople get used to land??? i forgot what it was but it was because a princess in like the sunshine lands blah blah blah) Meanwhile Ursula is just. Admired fo being so kind. Do they not know??? then again they do admire jafar while he also still lost. ..i mean the stories twisted ig so we cant really know what happened. if it followed the movie or if something else happened. In twst* Sound disappeared. I think it’s the movie dvd cause there are weird cuts

im. gonna end it there because otherwise im not gonna understand a thing

aladdin go brr

The frame froze on jafar closing the parrots mouth 😭

I FOUND WHERE THE SUBTITLES ARE oh my god were the crackers a reference (in the game kalim kept shoving crackers in grims mouth and i was just so confused???) I just wanna give the tiger a hug (i dont remember what gender but so so cute when turned into smol bby)

I can’t really blame animal sidekicks that cause an issue in stuff (and kind of annoying) since I got attached to grim and I hated him for the longest time lol (anyway abu ended up helping out by stealing the lamp anyway when before there liekly wouldnt have been a chance. so. good on him)

Jafar just keeps calling him Abooboo throughout the movie. …i cant take it seriously its the funniest thing ever

Why is jasmine surprised (or at least look surprised) she could’ve just assumed jafar was mistaken since Aladdin said he went in disguise and stuff to hide why he was there????

Who the hell would believe jafar’s word? The sultan. But jasmine hates jafar!

Jafar only wanted to be with jasmine to get power??? So why does he want her now? I refuse to believe he’s in love ew

EWWWW THEY KISSED (well she did it to distract him while aladdin was making his way on the plan to stop jafar. but EWW it didnt even work because he saw aladdin's reflection in the crown!)

So gross HOW OLD IS HE!?

So glad jamil wasn’t like that but also it’s not a romance game thank fuck

'Still just second best’ OUCH thats rough hearing that insult

and its deserved. but also knowing jamils backstory makes it ow, although jamil never really. went as far. ....like. nobody actually dies. theres no attempt at killing someone excluding overblot actions and actions pre-blot BECAUSE its on the way about to overblot that what you normally wouldn't do you kind of do, and i really doubt you can be blamed for that when it kind of just. removes your morals, sort of? lowers your inhibitions. but like. makes what caused it so much more intense so then you break and boom overblot

something like that.

[stray-kaz]

Three Day Hire : a Leo Grande x reader FF : seven + epilogue

18 and up, y’all.

Sunday morning, you were slow to get up, slow to get ready and slow to eat breakfast, scooting the bacon and eggs around on your plate until they had turned cold and virtually inedible. When you left the dining room, your luggage was already waiting for you, Leo’s leaning up against it. It all looked small and inconsequential, even though it had been witness to some of the more memorable memories of your lifetime thus far.

Leo carried most of it to the waiting car, bearing the brunt on his shoulders, much wider than yours were, physically and psychologically. Looking back at you sitting on the porch steps, he saw how lost and sad you were, compared to the semi hopeful girl you were when you arrived, hand in hand with him. He remembered his first day with you and wished he could rewind the time and do it over again with you, just to get the details right and make sure he hadn’t forgotten anything.

“Hey, baby.”

You looked up at the sound of his gentle voice and smiled sadly.

“Hello.”

“So sad, beautiful girl.”

You shrugged and let him help you up off the step and down onto the drive. He slung his arm over your shoulders, tucking you into his side.

“Hey!”

You stiffened against him and he glanced over his shoulder, frowning when he saw Millie pacing quickly towards him, her eyes like two bullets trained on your back.

“You didn’t say goodbye” she accused, reaching out to pull at your shoulder. “You said goodbye to everyone else but not me. Why is that? Why do you look like a kicked puppy this morning? Did the king of sex break up with you or something? Look at me!”

You spun, fists clenched, but Leo got there first. Eyes hard as jade, voice lowered, he got right in her face, his body crowding hers. You watched him, awestruck and gratified.

“Millicent” Leo growled, dragging out every hated syllable. “Drop it. Let it go. She doesn’t want to look at you, okay? With any luck, she’ll never see you again. Goodbye. It wasn’t nice to meet you.”

She stared up at him, eyes wide and gulping like a goldfish. Without another word, he turned on his heel and took you to the car, making quick note of the fact it was the same one from the club night. He held the door open for you and then climbed in after you, slamming the door shut.

“Thank you for what you said” you said quietly.

Buckling his seatbelt, he glanced over at you with a faint smile.

“You’re welcome. It might have been a bit much, I admit, but -”

You shook your head, cutting him off.

“It wasn’t” you assured him. “I’ll be quite happy never having to see her again.”

He nodded and you shuffled over to lean your head on his shoulder, closing your eyes as the engine growled to life and Reginald drove away, leaving the holiday home in a cloud of dust.

Leo was prepared for the flight home, now knowing your fear of flying, and was holding your hand the second your seatbelt was secure. You kept your eyes closed until the plane was in the air and all you could see was white and blue.

“I’m sorry your stories about your sister were true” Leo told you, pressing a kiss into your hair. “I’m sorry she doesn’t love you the way you should be loved.”

You nodded against his shoulder.

“Does anybody love anyone how they should be loved?”

Leo fell silent, thinking about that. It occurred to him that you were probably right and that maybe you were a little bit wise, and even braver than he was for admitting it. Maybe there was a little bit of Gryffindor in you, too.

To your surprise, Leo followed you into the same cab when you left the airport.

“Aren’t you going home now?” you asked, puzzled. “You have no more obligation to me anymore, the weekend is ov-”

He kissed you to shut you up, pressing you back against the car door.

“I’m following you home” he murmured against your mouth. “On the house. This is all for me. And all for you.”

Half an hour later, you were crashing through your bedroom door and falling onto your bed, unmade from the last time you slept in it days ago, comfortable and familiar, silver and white. Leo’s hands were up your shirt, but he didn’t bother undressing you this time, instead just pulled your underwear down, along with his shorts and underwear, and tipped you over onto your hands and knees to face the headboard, skirt still on.

You arched over and dug your hands into your pillow, shaking as he entered you, the stretch as sweet and earth shattering as you remembered from the previous two times it had happened. Leo pushed the hem of your skirt up and out of the way so he could see what he was doing, his grasp on your hips tightening as his snapped against you, making your thighs tremble and your breath hitch, your eyes closing against the pleasure.

You cried out on his name so many times over and over, the letters blurred together into a mess. He tapped the same blackout spot again and again, until your mouth opened on a silent scream and he held you up against him until he came with a whisper of your name and collapsed with you in a jumble of limbs and too many clothes.

And then when he was sure you were okay and breathing normally again, in the heavy afterglow, he told you about his life, the real one that had morphed into this new, shiny cover story he didn’t let anyone see behind. You held his hands as he told you about his mother, what she had seen, and how she had forced him out of his home and named him dead. And he told you his real name.

As the light started to change out the window, Leo dressed and walked to the door, shouldering his backpack and gripping the handle of his suitcase. One hand on the doorknob, he turned to look back and blew you a kiss.

“Goodbye, baby” he said quietly, peacefully.

And then he opened the door and closed it. Gone.

Epilogue : 4 months later

You had never felt more anxious in your life. You paced in front of the door to your flat, wondering for the fiftieth time if you were making a mistake.

You had booked Leo again, but had given no indication what for. Nevertheless, when he knocked, you couldn’t keep the smile off your face as you opened the door and let him in. He kissed your cheek and closed the door.

“It’s nice to see you again” he told you, smiling. “I wasn’t sure I would. You’re just as beautiful as I remember.”

“So are you” you replied, and facepalmed yourself as Leo laughed.

He put his backpack down, crouched and started to unzip it, but you stopped him with a hand on his shoulder and he looked up expectantly, hesitating.

“I didn’t book you for sex” you said quietly.

Leo stood up and looked down at you.

“So why am I here?” he asked, puzzled.

You took a deep breath and lifted your shirt, turning side on so he could see the swell at your belly.

“Wha-?”

He stepped back and stared, starry eyes wide.

“How...how far along?”

“Four months” you said shyly. “I wasn’t sure if I should tell you, but then I realised you deserved to know.”

You could almost see the cogs turning behind his eyes and you were about to tell him not to worry, you’d be fine on your own, when he took a step closer and held out his hands.

“May I?” he asked.

“Of course. Go ahead, Leo.”

You nodded and he placed his hands tentatively on either side of your bump. An expression of surprise came onto his face and you waited, watchful.

“It’s so hard and so soft at the same time” he said, awed, as he traced your skin with his fingertips.

You giggled a little and covered his hands with yours.

“It’s a boy” you said softly, and fixed your gaze on his.

Leo stared again, not sure what to say.

“I would like to name him Connor, if that’s all right with you” you said slowly, your voice steady. “That name deserves a fresh start.”

With trembling hands, Leo cupped your face and brought his lips to yours, tender, pouring out, grateful.

“I would like that” he murmured against your mouth. “Thank you.”

“But I need you to know you don’t have to stick around. I can do this.”

He shook his head, his nose rubbing against yours.

“He’s my son. He’s my responsibility.”

“But you don’t -”

Leo kissed you again then, stealing your breath and your words.

“We will figure it out, baby” he told you, grinning. “My job’s a little unusual, but we’ll make it work. So...your place or mine?”

Tagging: @fineanddandy​ @slippinginto-theairwaves

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has read to the end! This story fulfilled itself in ways I didn’t expect, and the ending? You can thank Daryl McCormack in The Randomer for it. I am a sucker for a man with a baby. Keep your eyes peeled for a Christmas themed Leo x reader oneshot, featuring baby Connor.

[neurotypical-sonic]

I'm constantly thinking about the big, otherworldly versions of Sonic's friends and Eggman as Sonic is aimlessly and unconsciously floating through the Shatterverse, as well as the lines they say:

Eggman: "One day I'll destroy that hedgehog, and the world will be a brighter place for it, lit by neon." Tails: "As long as I'm around, you'll always have a wingman!" Amy: "The forest is the most beautiful place on earth." Knuckles: "I don't need the details, just tell me who to smash." Rouge: "You may not like the way I do things, but I get things done!" - There doesn't seem to be anything particularly special about these lines, but they do present us the most basic aspects of each character

Amy: "Hey, I may be the one who can bring everyone together, but there's only one hedgehog they'll follow into battle." - Very bittersweet in hindsight knowing Amy's empathy and compassion has been stripped away as a cyborg, as well as Sonic having to learn to bring everyone together

Tails: "I don't need an army when I've got a friend like you, Sonic." - Again, very bittersweet knowing Sonic saved Tails from a lifetime of depression and torment

Eggman: "I will rule the world, and no rodents are going to stop me." - Again, nothing that noteworthy because we know the Chaos Council do end up ruling the world but Sonic and friends will inevitably stop them

Amy: "We'd follow you anywhere, Sonic." - This kinda goes hand-in-hand with a theory of mine that the Shatterspace counterparts aren't separate entities from the main guys, but they're the actual main guys

Tails: "Nothing could break our friendship, Sonic." - EASILY THE MOST WORRISOME LINE

YEAH NO SAME. When I first watched it I kept pausing and rewinding it because it is VERY obviously foreshadowing. I do have many thoughts and theories on it, but I'm so tired rn and can't think enough to type them out sndjdkd. Also prime comes out in what, an hour? I guess we'll find out soon enough!!

[darckcarnival]

What is it like to see your loved ones die so many times? How numb have you grown to the smell of death around their corpses, to see them alive next, only for death to rip them away from you once more? What will you do once this loop breaks and they are dead and gone for good?

Oh... That had been entirely unexpected, and not something of which the half vampire had wanted to be thinking about what so ever. The repeated instances of watching those around her die, over and over again, only by some cursed miracle for them to be alive in some way- but not remember her. Or maybe they do, but everything is so far undone it doesn't matter. Only small details here and there- time was cruel, as was reality, made worse for a creature so steeped in unaging eternity to see the same thing. To leave deep burnt scars upon the psyche and memory.

Yet, she has experienced this all the same. The permanency of it all, some never coming back ever again. Their graves long since grown over, or worse not even having a chance for that, and just... Lost, somewhere unknown...

The woman may have spent most of her life as this creature of the night, watching the world move every onward while every tick of the clock taking its slow toll upon those around her. The years digging their claws in upon every single person she knew and cared for. Like an ominous warning that there could only be so much available. But did it matter? If she was forgotten and left behind each time...? Not that it made a difference anyhow. The woman had missed out on many years already- either from forces outside of ones control, or from her own poorly chosen action or not saying a damn thing.

Darck grit her teeth with a tightened jaw, pursed lips, and crossed both arms. Uncomfortable tension tying itself in knots through her joints. "It's like a never ending loop of pain and woe. Imagine seeing your friends and family on a cycle, or an instant rewind button, loosing them and repeating. But you're the one that knows. Not something I'd wish even on my worst enemy. I.. .I wouldn't say I'm numb too it. Every time it still hits me like a freight train. Perhaps worse than the last. Makes me feel more... Protective in a way. And far more cautious with my actions and what I let slip sometimes. It's agonizing."

For a moment there was a brief hunger, or need... Not for feeding- but rather for a possessive instinct. 'Could turn them', the vampiric side thought into her internal conflicts. Give them speed and strength to counter anything, let them have freedom again from whatever was keeping them... But none of them would want it. Sure, the offer could be made, but Darck would never, ever, force such a thing on someone else. Some of those were too damn young anyway! She lived this life every day, and those she cared for so much deserved better than that. Deserved to live any sort of life they could get their hands on, not the never ending walk she had now. Even if the knot in her throat was slowly tightening like an invisible noose.

"... I don't know what I'll do... Be broken far more than I already am I've no doubt. There is only so much one soul can take. I'd be filled with regrets that will never leave... And yet-" Darck's voice cracked then, a shaken inhale being taken. She knew that was drawing closer. Dangerously so. The fate waiting as the Sword Of Damocles kept swinging. Loneliness sinking in, reminders around every corner. Even to sit in the same room of someone she cares for so much, it doesn't make a difference, does it?

"I can't." She muttered once, quietly. Before raising the voice louder. "I can't. I just can't-" The vampire turned, and left.

She needed air. And a drink.

Anywhere but here.

[willandmichael]

how long did it take you to watch the van scene the first time? about how many times did you rewind? did you catch the lip glance right away? did you think it was heading in a byler positive direction when mike was talking? how about when will was talking? were you happy/disappointed by the painting? how did you feel by the end of it? how devastated were you by will's crying?

whoaaa so many questions, thanks for asking!!<3

- the 1st time i was watching it w my sister in the living room as soon as it dropped so we didn't pause at any time iirc 😭

- i didn't rewatch it as soon as it came out, but i kept seeing clips of it on twt! i wasn't a Byler Shipper™ yet when vol2 dropped. actually i was really mad that will was being treated like shit again so it took some time before my anger dissipated and i started noticing the little details

- nope i didn't catch it right away, i noticed once i started getting byler edits on my fyp 🤧

- yeah actually! i was extremely fed up w mlvn anyway so when mike was talking i was CHEERING 📣 MLVN IS OVER

- when will started talking i wanted to crawl into a hole, cause i was so excited for vol2 .. but when he started lying i could only shrink into myself. i swearrr me and my sister were speechless, we were both pointing at the tv like 🫵🫵🫵 he's lying omg he's talking about himselfffff

literally live iza reaction:

- i was a bit confused at first tbh 😭 i don't even know what i was expecting the it to be but it was not a painting of the party fighting a dragon i was like WHAT IS TJIS?🧐🤨???

- how i felt??? i was EXHAUSTED cause it was too many emotions happening at once. i was pissed at mike, and i was already mad at him for acting like a jerk in vol1 so watching the van scene for the first time was NOT a good look for him (like i said wasn't a byler back then so i wasn't seeing mike through a more refined lens, PLUS i was pissed at st for making me wait a whole fucking month to see will's heart being crushed.. the fact that it was literally right after pride month didn't help lmao)

- when will started crying i felt so ANGRY over this storyline, and i was extremely sad for him, i just want him to be happy;;; my heart was hurting so much, he's my son :///

whoa i feel like i went down memory lane even though this happened just 4 months ago

[mineofilms]

End of the Beginning

“Is this the end of the beginning? Or the beginning of the end? Losing control or are you winning? Is your life real or just pretend?” "End of the Beginning"

Going through my writings for the past year when I kept coming across instances where things just do not make sense to me. Not the words I write or topics I talk about, but rather ‘some’ of the takes of these topics by the random minorities of INTERNET TROLLS, Internet Subcultures, and others. The problem in general with Internet Subcultures are Internet Subcultures. However, I have already written about that and those extremely short and not very well thought out opinions of said topics of mine.

This year was marked by life after Hurricane Ian, with damage to the house, only now being repaired. Due to inflation, rising insurance premiums and cost of living going up while monies coming in are either static or going slowly in reverse we had to make serious concessions as to what we wanted for our home. The house is forever changed. We won’t get the pool cage replaced. The insurance pay out was half of what it will cost for a new one and the insurance for it could buy a brand new pool cage every three years. We went over a year without one, adapted our lives and maintenance around that and it has worked out to a point where we had the time to think about what we actually wanted and how much we had to pay with for it. Now that we have a real concept of what we want we are slowly getting that done.

I started the year’s Blogging on my fitness history and journey over the years. I am still at it. I have learned to train smarter, around my current limitations and I feel I look good for what I have had to go through with my ability to still train at a high level. This past year I wrote about the Buffalo Bills more than I have in the past over a one year span. I am probably not done. With how Buffalo is these days, there is usually something worth discussing every few weeks, let alone months. I wrote a lot about redefining Woke-Culture as ‘(Whoa)ke Cult-Lure.’ I wrote about that subject enough to be a target of trolling then doxing by a very persistent but small group of 40+Don’t-Matter-Progressives on a stupid platform that no one really uses called SpaceHey. SpaceGhey, is what most that know the platform call it.

“Reanimation of the sequence Rewind the future to the past. To find the source of the solution; The system has to be recast.” ~BLACK SABBATH

I did more movie reviews this year than I have done in recent years. I think I will continue this trend in 2024. When I do a review I tend to write about movies that I knew nothing about going into it and being very surprised at how good it was. I will also write about movies I saw that I thought were going to be good from the trailer and/or the plot write-up and the movie being so terrible that I had to write about all the things I hated about it. In great detail, of course. I do not always review films that everyone else has seen or is popular. I go by what I want to watch, not what the mass media and YouTube reviewers say I should watch.

Movies I wrote about this year:

• Infinity Pool (2023) • You People (2023) • Knock at the Cabin (2023) • Nefarious (2023) • Choke (2008) • Oppenheimer (2023)

Movies I briefly talked about this year:

• The Elephant Man (1980) • The Thing (1982) • Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981) • Altered States (1980) • Tightrope (1984) • Communion (1989) • The Fourth Kind (2009) • The Entity (1982) • Prince of Darkness (1987) • Galaxy of Terror (1981)

Along with my thoughts on politics and political ideologies I also dove more into religion/faith using Christianity as the main example. The only reason Christianity gets mentioned the most when I talk about religion is because it tends to be the most popular or most obvious. Most of everyone has heard of the rumored, “son-of-God,” Jesus Christ. We have all heard the stories and all that. It is the easiest one to prove wrong as well, but we’ll save that for 2024 and beyond. I spent just as much time writing about Social Media, Music and technical blogs with aspects of using smart devices and using older accounts with those devices. It is sort of pain in the butt when something newer comes out and it isn’t exactly compatible with your main accounts because your main accounts are now two decades old. I have newer accounts sure, but none of them are as used as my main INTERNET accounts that have most of everything signed into them. Sometimes the process is overly complicated and I will take detailed notes as to how I came up with the solutions. I will write out the notes in the form of a blog to tell the tale or just a backup for myself if I ever have to deal with the problem again. I prepared another medical update that handles the past/present of my medical conditions in a better, more thorough, breakdown. I had to take a break from everything during the months of June and July due to being sick. A combination of getting the flu and medications having adverse effects on my body for my diabetes. We still have yet to get a real handle on controlling my blood sugars. Granted we have made some strides in the right direction but my sugars continue to be higher, even with the medications they give me. At the beginning of June is when I started receiving harassment from that contingent of hypersensitive 40+Don’t-Matter-Progressives on the SpaceGhey. After I handled that, went on vacation, came back, got sick again, did I begin writing again. I was sent an open survey by my county’s Democratic Party and they made the mistake of allowing the survey takers a textbox for every question to give people a chance to say what they want to say. I will tell you; I wish ALL multiple choice tests or surveys did this. I have always had a problem with the multiple choice approach. It lacks contextual-value. Not all questions are written with context in mind and they should. Anyway; I sent them a very detailed survey back with why I would never register to vote or vote for a Democratic Party representative in any form of Government. This sparked a little bit of a debate, as most assume if one isn’t a Democrat then by default they must be a Right-Wing-Trump Supporter, which isn’t true either. I do not support either one of them as my main way to express how I feel about politics.

Both are poor choices for social societal evolution.

I took mid-October and the first part of November writing about the Israeli/Palestinian War. I wrote about 8,791 words on the subject. I studied the history. I looked at opinions on both sides and I fact-checked most of the things that are being spewed as semantics but really are just rhetoric, where semantics is the study of real and true meanings of words and phrases and are based on credible facts. Where rhetoric only has to appear it is based on credible facts, but doesn’t actually have to include anything real, true or fact, merely that it only sounds plausible. I take the same approach when talking about ALL forms of religion. That is why religion is such a tough sell and extremely easy to dismiss when looking really hard at the science, logic and common sense on the subject. If one is Pro-Palestinian they will be very triggered by what I got to say, but if one is Pro-Israeli they will be just as disappointed in my resolve or opinion on the matter.

I finally got around to defining what “Two-Step Flow Theory for Idiots” is…

One of the last big things I talked about this year are the Ten Things That Terrified Me in Film/TV. Things I remember that freaked me out in a Movie. I am 45 now and a lot of these were seen when I was a kid. So 80s baby all the way. I really harp on “conceptual horror” over just visuals. “Conceptual Horror” would be imagining you as a child, in bed, feeling this sense that you are being watched. You cannot see anything, but you look in the darkest corners of your room to see BLACK and feeling there is something there that wants you to be terrified of its presence upon you. You get the distinct feeling this thing, this entity, wants to do bad things to you or at the very least make you do bad things to others or yourself. That to me, this uncertainty, this distinct feeling of “a harmful force upon you,” is terrifying and really the only thing that truly haunts me. That unknown feeling of dread by something you cannot quantify, but is in your space that is supposed to be yours and safe.

2023 was a year where I looked into AI more than I ever have. Both with using ChatGPT, and writing prompts or, “cheat codes,” for ChatGPT. I wrote a few blogs about AI and I will continue to do that. I also listened to the audiobook versions of the “Remembrance of Earth's Past” or known as (The Three-Body Trilogy) by Liu Cixin. Three-Body is a mind-bending existentially terrifying sci-fi journey that explores humanity's encounter with an alien civilization. From the deep of cosmic concepts to intricate political and philosophical threads, Three-Body is an exploration of the unknown, challenging our understanding of the Universe, reality, perspective, perception, existence itself. Very few science fiction novels actually change how I think. This series absolutely did that with its concepts of first contact, the dark forest theory, game theory, nihilism, time, relativity, relativistic time, reality possibly being an infinitely long loop, love, death, infinity, multiple-dimensional realities, macro and micro quantum reality, religion not being real and existentialism. I will do a bigger BLOG-breakdown of the series with heavy spoilers at some point in the future.

For 2024, I currently have fourteen Blogs scheduled as of right now. This doesn’t mean I will be writing only fourteen Blogs but that those are the ones I have multiple pages of notes on the subject for and want to tackle. I wrote 30 Blogs in 2023. Where only half of them were planned in advance. I do plan to continue to work on Fiction this year. I am hoping to complete something this year for sure. There has been and will be many changes to my life and how my family carries on its wayward son… I tend to say this every year that the year before was the worse year of my life. The same can go for 2023 as well but I think of it in different terms now.

On 12/22/2023, after I had just came back from one of my deep thinking sessions on my walks around the wooded area in my neighborhood, my father passed away. Dad would have been 70 on the first day of 2024. As a family, we elected not to post this on the typical social media posts on subjects like this. Being Friday evening and all, with Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and my Nephew’s Birthday a day after that we did not want to ruin anyone’s holiday. We didn’t want our friends and family to have to stop their lives for our misfortunes. The truth is my father has been extremely ill since 2004, even before that. I started noticing my Father’s health change in and around 1995-1996. During that time, and years to come, my father did very little to help himself with his health. The Doctor would instruct him to do A, B, C and my father would take that and create his own sense of D, E, F of it. Health declined every few years. Every few years the cycle would repeat itself. Every time he’d go to the ER or stay in ICU, he’d come back, a little bit less of himself and more zombie-like. 2021 my father finally hit a wall that he couldn’t just walk through and his strength and awareness around him would dwindle. The last thing to go is a person’s sense of self. Towards the end he would stop communicating like a normal person. He would talk to us sporadically but be less and less coherent and more and more incoherent. Finally, my father’s body could no longer hold out and he passed peacefully in his sleep. One minute he was resting then next he was just a vacant vessel for a human soul.

I am not exactly sure how to word all this to sound as it should. As I have said, largely my father hasn’t been around in the way we know him and all you may remember him for a very very long time. It is hard to really understand how I feel and think at this moment. I do not feel that sense of sudden loss that most tend to go through. Actually ALL my brothers feel like this about this specific situation. When I think about this now, on the last day of 2023 and the day before his birthday, is I revert to when I was a kid and we lived in Tampa, Sarasota and right when we moved to North Port, from when that all started in 1984-1991. That is really how I think of my dad now. I cannot really think about him as my father, near and after 1997. 1997-2001, I was just graduating High School, trying to figure out adulating, finishing school, working dead end jobs, then going to college and not having a single clue as to what I was supposed to do. My brothers were all in High School doing their thing. My mother was dealing with my father, who started his descent into what we ALL had to go through for the last 20 years. Guidance for me was non-existent and with friends that are no longer here in my life anymore. I picked film in college because I loved movies. I wanted to work behind a camera from the time I left High School to now. I picked that because of the love but also because it would get me away from here and having to deal with all this stuff my dad was going through and watching my friends’ transition into their current lives, both for the best and not the best of circumstances.

I never actually got out of here and my degree is/was a complete waste of time, energy, money, resources and false-hope. Granted I love what I know but wish I could at least make a living doing it over just writing about it. Now with my own mortality showing these same signs; I am the same age now that my father was in and around when he began his issues. I think about how much quality time I have to work on projects like this. Both time and the roadblocks that were there, that are no longer there, but other roadblocks still exist. I feel like 2024 will be an end of a new beginning and the beginning actually begins, now…

Reflections of the self and redemptive nature of living life and then eventually time catches up. The ultimate fate of us ALL is death, the light, the love, the life, the emptiness and despair of it ALL. "It's a far, far better thing I do than I have ever done before. A far better resting place I go to, than I have ever known." ~1859 novel by Charles Dickens, “A Tale of Two Cities” reused in the final moments of the 1982 film: “Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.” The very first record/tape/music I ever purchased was Black Sabbath’s Paranoid per the recommendation of my father. I was 11…

Rest In Peace Dad… 1/1/1954-12/22/2023

“Release your mind. Fast forward to the secrets of your code. Your life's on overload. Delete or save…” "End of the Beginning" ~BLACK SABBATH Writer(s): John Osbourne, Tony Iommi, Terrence Butler

Finis Principia (Latin for; End of the Beginning) by David-Angelo Mineo 12/30/2023 2,737 Words

[blondrichclosetwitch]

I'm looking out into the sound. I'm breathing deep. I'm turning around.

I'm asking, "Will you come over here and do me violence?"

You slipped your fears into my head,

Hotels, jails, hospital details.

—“I'll tell you what I didn't say.”

Afraid of the house, cause they’re desperate to entertain

I'll be wearing your tattoo, yes

I'm already in circles and circles and circles again, the girls

Circles and circles, got to stop spinning

“just – you can go now, you’re already in there, whether it’s pregnant or whether it’s just infused. You don’t even have to hang around and watch me disintegrate, because you’ve already done your job. You’ve already accomplished what you wanted, which was another scalp on your belt, and you did it.”

I know you can see things that we can't see

I know there’s a way

We can make them pay

But it’s an awful sound when you hit the ground

“And I could see her face as she came, callin' out my name.”

As I pushed my foot down to the floor

I question your innocence.

So call the police

And that makes a song with murder in the title one of your songs of the day

With handjobs in the title of the other one, and here I thought I was the sexworker

“I made you my slave.”

The gravity of the situation became apparent to us all

All that money

I’m just a ghost up on your street, Waiting, when you coming home?

They took your life. They could not take your pride.

Lisa says: I’ll be your best friend for the longest while

Oh no honey,

That’s not the truth.

Well the truth is, Lisa is doing hoodoo on you for her good friend the Tarot Reader, so when you get paired with good ole lisa for the 40 days and forty nights project, she’s actually doing shit that makes your mind even more unstable

“Well now that you are next to me I just get so upset.”

butcher knife to my stomach

You make me feel there are songs to be sung, bells to be rung, and a wonderful fling to be flung. (you know, like the death bell from dirge)

Young savage girl lost (speak of the devil)

came back like a slow voice on a wave of phase

We may pick him up on channel 2

When you think about it, he’s watching every word you say.

Long digging

Gone fishing

Love drinking.

I’ll take all the blame (clearly something has happened because they just played New York New York for the first time ever , and I’ve sung that publicly throughout my youth and drunk at my brothers wedding because someone gave me a Xanax but I digress)

Shiva

The radar’s got it wrong

Think for yourself

And stop watching so much fucking television

But it’s happening, it’s dazzling, protections start to splinter

Court cases

To all y’all bitches, conversating on my life, mind your motherfucking business

I want money in large amounts, moving my tapes in major weight because every dollar counts

Everybody needs to chill

She’s not your queen anymore

I will follow you into the dark

After hearing it the second time for today, the line is “came back like a slow voice on a wave of phase”

Every night rewind the dream

Stalker

I will not live without you you you

Your friends at work will disappear and that guy you’re with, he was never there

Cause this time dad you’re wrong

I’ll prove it to you.

Boy stood there and hung his head and cry because that is no way to get along

‘Cause things are gonna change so fast

Damn if these walls could talk, they’d say “well shit be crazy, right?”

Why can’t I tell you?

Best Kept Secret (a song where a boy and girl talk about not being able to tell each other that they are the only person they want to hold)

The confidence of knowing

Descending to relieve us

I spoke up*

What more need I say when you’re running away from me

Hey there’s a letter for you downstairs, can I read it too? (Oh hey, did you read the letter I wrote her? You should so I’m not misrepresented )

Lonnie couldn’t sleep

Slipped into a cold, dark sleep

Camera watching Him

The camera wasn’t loaded yet

He really hated being that

He showered, shaved and slipped into an Ivy League jacket , and he headed for the parking lot, leaving the key behind in his room

He took off the lens cap and lit his first cigarette in two years and melted into the panic

We learn to loathe the truth as it shines

Chances are you wouldn’t even recognize the ________ I am now

“Keep it in the bottom drawer where you hide the sex tools.”

You’re spinning your wisdom in stories that change, your lies are fluorescent.

I know what you have done

I’ve got your number

Tell me where you’ve been and I’ll tell you where I’ve been

It’s just a picture of a picture, tossed and torn away

She eyes me like a Pisces when I am weak

I’ve been locked inside your heart-shaped box for weeks

Every time you smile is a fake

Every single space in your head is filled up with the things that you’ve read (“feign to deny it” as charlotte bartlett would say)

Lying on my back. I heard music.

Felt unsure & catastrophic.

It blows my mind, but it's like that.

Out in the dark

Did what he want

I'm in the backseat of the Camry, baby

Baby