#i kind of just need me-time a lot and these days i'm busier

[ladykailitha]

The Harrington Pattern Part 7

Hello! It's Tuesday and that means more Steve and Eddie. And it's looking like the story will end in chapter 12. It might take one more than that, but it's definitely almost done.

So what will that mean? Well, I'll start working on working on another story to bring it back up to two, but will still only work on the others on WIP Wednesday because I'm trying to get down the amount of WIPs I have running. I have far too many.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

Day two of the Fair. Will sees Steve and Steve reveals a little trick. And Steve has to be stern mom again.

@mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @redfreckledwolf @emly03 @itsall-taken

****

Steve picked up his usual set and went to the Renaissance Fair. This time they were the first to arrive and they stood there waiting for the rest of them to show up.

He had left the spirit gum with Mrs Sinclair and she was able to do an even better job then he had yesterday putting the ears back on.

The bow and quiver had been left behind today because sadly the poor bow had been a mangled, tangled mess by the time they left the fair yesterday.

Max and Robin’s cutlasses had fared better because they never left their sides, but even slung over Lucas’s shoulder, the poor aluminum just couldn’t bare the brunt of the crowds. And today was going to be even busier.

Steve looked at his watch and then back at the growing crowd waiting in line.

He tapped his foot nervously when he saw the familiar van pull into the lot. And the merry band of fellows hopped out, wearing the outfits they had yesterday. The ones that made Steve green with envy on how well they were put together.

It was like they had just walked off the set of a Hollywood movie.

He was good with a needle and thread, but whoever made their costumes should be making money off it, they were that talented.

Jeff came around to the other side of the van where Steve could see him and his ears looked great too.

“Looking good, Lawrence,” Steve whistled. “The ears are vastly improved.”

Jeff bowed dramatically. “Why thank you, my liege! I had my sister help me pick out the right color and type I needed and then I did it myself.”

Gareth snorted. “After practicing all night.”

Brian elbowed their youngest member. “It’s just like trying to get a beat right, you have to practice. Don’t give him shit for that.”

Gareth grumbled, but muttered a half-hearted apology to Jeff. The older teen just grinned at his friend.

Which after how crazy yesterday was, Steve wasn’t looking forward to a repeat if Jeff took offense to Gareth’s comment.

Eddie had been unusually quiet during this conversation, so while they milled around waiting for the remaining third of their group, Steve came up to him.

“Hey, you okay?” he asked, leaning down and forward to get a better look at the metalhead.

Eddie pursed his lips, but he nodded.

“You know, I have been dying to ask...”

Eddie smiled softly. “Who’s my tailor?”

Steve cackled. “Yeah, that. God, I would gleefully sacrifice one of the teenagers for the material alone, let alone the thread.”

“Which one?” Eddie asked, coming a little bit more out of his shell.

Steve reared back his head. “What?”

“Which one of the teenagers you would sacrifice?” Eddie asked again.

“Dustin,” Steve said without hesitation. “I figure virgin,” he counted on his fingers, “check, most annoying, check, and the one who would be the biggest... ‘value’ as it were, double check.”

Eddie laughed outright. “You don’t have to sacrifice any of them. Brian’s sister works at a big theater, the kind that do plays, as their costumer.”

Steve sighed and rubbed a bit of the black velvet between his thumb and forefinger. “You guys are so lucky.”

Eddie laughed again. “Trust me, even Bri had to pay for the privilege.”

Steve’s eyes lit up. “Oh?”

“Yup!” Eddie said, rocking back on his heels. “We had to pay for all the material and patterns ourselves, plus at least twenty-five percent of labor. These duds may be pretty, but lo they be also pricey.”

“Well, it was certainly worth it,” Steve murmured. “You guys look fantastic.”

Eddie’s cheeks colored a pretty pink. “Thanks. Um...mine is actually based on a character from a short story. Brian’s mom is Polish, but she loves sc-fi and fantasy so she gets this magazine, right?” Steve nodded. “So, anyway she’ll translate into English for Brian to read. It’s about this male witch and he has this minstrel friend named Jeskier...” he pronounced it strange, like yes-keer. “I’m probably pronouncing it wrong. But he’s so cool.”

“So you’re this minstrel guy?” Steve asked, suddenly understanding.

Eddie hummed excitedly. “Brian even went as one of the male witches. Not the main one though. But it’s still fun, you know?”

Steve smiled back. “Yeah. I never would have thought about going as a specific character before. Maybe we can plan something for next year.”

Whatever cloud leftover that was lingering over Eddie vanished in the light of Steve’s bright smile.

Eddie bumped his shoulder into Steve’s. “What’s on the docket today, pretty boy?”

Steve blushed bright red, but before he could answer, Claudia’s station wagon pulled up next to them. The four kids piled out, happily chatting and laughing. Well all but Mike.

Mike had always been a reserved kid, but as he got older, the more withdrawn he seemed to get. Will seemed to do the opposite. The kid was really coming out of his shell and into himself. And maybe that was the reason for Mike’s shrinking back.

Steve just shook his head and turned to Will. “Still no Jonathan?” he teased.

Will rolled his eyes. “He said and I quote ‘I’ll see about maybe Saturday’.”

Steve winced. He couldn’t make Jonathan come, but he could see how much Jonathan coming would mean so much to Will and it made his heart hurt just a little.

“Can’t force someone to have fun,” he said with a shrug. “It really is his loss.”

Will nodded sagely, like the mature person he was forced to become far too soon. “But! He did give me the ten dollars I needed for the staff to make up for it.”

Steve smiled. All right, maybe Steve didn’t have to stop by and give the elder Byers boy a piece of his mind.

He turned to Eddie. “Hey, you want to traverse the fields of commerce with me and Will to go get his staff?”

Eddie grinned. “Hell yeah! I didn’t get to go yesterday.”

Will grinned back. He turned to El and Mike. “You going to come with me. right?”

Mike shook his head. “El wanted to see the weavers this morning, but no one else wanted to go with her and with Steve’s dumb rule...”

“It’s not dumb,” Steve said. “Just because the Upside Down is gone, doesn’t mean there aren’t things that can hurt you.”

“We’re fifteen,” Mike protested. “I think that’s old enough to go by ourselves.”

Steve looked around at the other kids and they were all looking everywhere but at him. “May I remind you that we are literally standing on the ground where human monsters were trying to open a gate? Bad guys come in all shapes and sizes and even if you think you’re safe, is El? Or Will?”

The kids looked down at their feet and mumbled their apologies.

“I just want everyone safe and having a good time,” Steve finished. “You guys can do whatever you want, but do you know who your parents would blame if something happened to you?”

Dustin raised his head sharply. “But there are other adults here, why would they blame you?”

Steve barked out a bitter laugh. “Because I’m the fucking babysitter.” He walked off to get in line and everyone just followed behind quietly, suddenly somber.

Robin fell in step next to Steve and wrapped her arm around his shoulder. “Hey, dingus.”

Steve just ducked his head.

“It’s just a tricky age. You remember what it was like at their age,” she murmured.

“I was getting drunk every weekend, smoking, and having sex,” Steve grumbled. “I don’t want that for them.”

Robin kissed his cheek. “You’re sweet. But they’re going to have to figure it out on their own.”

Steve’s shoulders rounded. “I just want to them to have fun and we keep having knock out drag out fights before we go in and I–” he left out a deep sigh.

“You can’t be held responsible for what they do,” she said.

He snorted. “Tell that to Joyce or Claudia. Just because I’m the oldest.”

She hugged him tightly. “You’re not anymore and you know Eddie would do anything for those kids, too. Plus, this is exactly why you told them to find any adult. Let all of us help shoulder the load, too.”

Steve let out a low shuddering breath. “I’ll try. I just keep butting heads with Mike. Always Mike. And I don’t know what to do, he’s just so prickly and even outright hostile.”

“So don’t do anything,” Robin suggested.

He frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Let Eddie handle it,” she said. “He did a fine job yesterday. So let him do it again.”

Steve pressed his lips together and then nodded. “Okay.”

She kissed his cheek again and went back to talk to Eddie. Steve paid again for the tickets. Well, not all of them. Thankfully Eddie and his friends were paying their own way.

He turned to Will. “You ready to go get your staff?” He smiled broadly to hide the hurt of Mike’s rebellion.

Will smiled back. “Hell yeah!”

Eddie came bounding up to them. “I’ll meet you at the shop, there’s something I need to do really quick about tomorrow. They’ve messed up the schedule and me and Jeff have to go see someone about it.”

Steve nodded. “Yeah, just ask Jeff where the shop is, he should remember which one.”

Eddie smiled again. “You betcha, big boy.” He flounced back to Jeff and Steve watched him walk away.

When he turned back to Will, the young man was looking at him with curiosity.

“What’s up?”

Will furrowed his brows. “I’m trying to decide if you know about...” he pursed his lips trying to find a way to say what he meant without outing Steve in public. “What you feel about a certain someone?”

Steve looked back at where Eddie had melted into the crowd and then back at this all too perceptive boy. He put his arm around Will and started them walking toward the shop.

“If you’re asking what I think you’re asking,” Steve started slowly, “I’ve known I like both for awhile now. It was just easier to focus on the one. The one that was socially acceptable, you know?”

Will nodded. “I can see that. And then he came barreling into our lives and a good kind of upside down happened?”

Steve smiled fondly. “Yeah. He is so sweet. He’s everything I thought I wanted in Nancy.”

Will grinned. “You do have a type.”

He scuffed Will’s hair a bit. “Yeah, yeah.”

They walked in silence for awhile before Steve spoke up again.

“I feel I should give you a heads up before we get to the shop,” he said with a wince.

Will looked over at him in confusion.

“I may have talked the merchant in to holding it for you by giving them a ten dollar deposit to hold it.”

Will’s jaw dropped. “You can do that?”

Steve laughed. “No, not really. By I can be persuasive and he was willing to do me the favor.”

“Thanks, Steve,” Will murmured. “You’ve done so much for us, I think we take you for granted sometimes.”

Steve half shrugged. “My parents suck and while some of you have actually decent parents and older siblings, I don’t mind being the babysitter the one you guys look up to and come to for advice.”

Will smiled. “Any tips on how to tell your best friend you have a crush on them?”

Steve threw back his head and laughed. “Look, the one time I did that I was drugged up on truth serum and literally couldn’t lie. I don’t think that’s going to help you.”

“Too bad Robin bats for the other team,” he said with a smile.

Steve smiled back. “Nah, I think her telling me that is what made it easier for me to realize that having those feelings can’t make you a bad person. Not when she was so amazing.”

Will cocked his head to the side. “That’s fair.”

“Come on you,” Steve said, “let’s go get you this wizard staff.”

Will stopped in his tracks. “You said it right. You never say the DnD terms right.”

Steve raised a finger up to his lips and winked. “I do it because it drives Dustin up the wall and Eddie just loves explaining it to me, so I kill two birds with one stone.”

Will laughed. “Yeah, okay.”

As they wove their way through the crowd, Will smiled to himself. Steve and Eddie both liked boys, knew they liked boys, and were still unapologetically themselves. And maybe he could be too.

But first, he was going to get that wicked staff he saw yesterday because he had two brothers looking out for him. His biological one and Steve. Someone who cared so deeply that even when he should have walked away, he stayed.

And Will always could use more people that just...stayed.

****

Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13

For those that don't know "The Witcher" was an original short story in a Polish sci-fi/magazine in 1985. I couldn't figure out if Jeskier was in the original tale, so shush if he isn't.

Tag List: @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @danili666 @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog @justforthedead89 @vecnuthy @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @dragonmama76 @scheodingers-muppet @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @thespaceantwhowrites @paintgonewrong @mogami13 @beelze-the-bubkiss @croatoan-like-its-hot @retro-vagabond @sani-86 @pansexuality-activated @y4r3luv @dauntlessdiva @vampire-eddie-brain-rot

[cerridwen007]

Wrong to want you like I do. Part 1.

Pairing: (No Breakout AU) dbf!Joel Miller and f!reader.

Word count: 1.7k (18+) MINORS DNI!

Summary: You're back in your hometown for the year to earn some cash while you work out what you wanna do with your life. The only problem is its spring; rainy season. And you don’t own a car nor do you know how to drive, so when you get caught in a big storm, you finally end up relying on your dad’s best friend to come and help.

Notes/Warnings: Smut/Fluff, swearing, Joel being a softie sweetheart for reader, oral(m receiving), mention of f masturbation, age gap (reader early 20’s/Joel 56), shy/awkward reader, no y/n.

A/N: Hoping on the dad’s best friend Joel train cause I have been eating those fics up lately, and they are so fricken good. Is this inspired by myself and the fact that I had to walk in the pouring rain to work on the other side of town and just spent the whole time daydreaming that I could have Joel come and pick me up? Maybe? So yes it’s a little self-indulgent cause I just am such a passenger princess, but I would be hella willing to learn to drive if Joel taught me hehe. I plan on making this a slow burn fic series, so let me know if y'all would want more. As always, thank you for any interactions with any of my posts. It's all very much appreciated. I'm also on A03 if you prefer reading on that platform. And my inbox is always open if you wanna chat! Enjoy bebes.

********

“Fuck.” 

It was that time of year again where basically every week there was rain and lots of it. Normally you wouldn’t mind the rain, especially if you got to stay at home all day, with a nice cup of tea, reading or watching a movie and letting it lull you to sleep when night fell. But today, where you actually had to go out and walk to work without a car, it made your life a bit difficult.

Your parents had been kind enough to drive you to and from work a lot of the time, to which you generously compensated them for. But on days like this where they were both busy with work, and you didn't really have anyone else to ask for a ride from in your small town, you stubbornly decided to just walk in the pouring rain.

Usually you didn't mind, in fact you kind of enjoyed walking the long distance to work on the other side of town but times like these where the weather was shit, it was a dreadful experience. After you finished getting ready for work, you finally walked out the door and locked up the house. 

You sighed as you began to walk down you drive way and down your street, as not only was it raining heavily it was also windy as fuck, so the old umbrella you brought with you to try and protect yourself from the rain was threatening to bust with every swoop of wind that it got caught in. At least you had some music to entertain you, you thought as an old love song played through your earphones. You half-heartedly laughed at yourself, so you didn’t cry with how fucken soaked you were going to be when you got to work, therefore uncomfortable your entire shift. 

As you turned onto a busier road, you scowled a little at the drivers going past you in your cars, and as if your sour face triggered one of them, a truck going past suddenly pulled over next to you. Swallowing harshly, unsure of how this interaction was going to go, you warily walked past the truck. 

“Need a ride sweetheart?” A deep southern voice calls out.

You turn to get a better look at the source of the voice that called to you, and your shoulders immediately ease up. It was Joel, your dad’s best friend. A grumpy yet giving man who had known you since you were a young kid. And had also secretly been the star in your wet dreams and fantasies since you were old enough to think about those things. Your stomach fluttered with butterflies as he gave you a soft smile and leaned over to open his passenger door.  You quickly got in and gave a big sigh of relief to be out of the cold and the rain. He chuckled softly and waited for you to put your seatbelt on. 

“Couldn’t catch a ride with Mom or Dad today, honey?” Joel asks, his big brown eyes melting from the inside out.

“Nah, they were both working, so they couldn't run me to work.”

Joel nods and starts up his truck again before driving off in the direction of your work. A comfortable silence falls over the two of you.

“D'ya wanna put your music on sweet girl?” Joel asks after a few minutes.

You blush and look down shyly at your lap from the nickname. Butterflies continue to brew in your stomach. 

“Uh you probably won’t like the music I was listening to.” You awkwardly laugh.

“You don’t know that and besides even if it is horrible, I won’t mind one bit cause it’s what ya like.” Joel says, offering you a kind smile.

Your cheeks start to burn, you try and fight off the curve of the smile that threatens to upturn your lips but lose. You eventually pull out your phone and plug it into Joel's soundsystem and play the last song you were listening to.

Both of your eyebrows match each other from curiosity, as a slow melody begins to fill the cabin of the truck.

“When Sunny gets blue, her eyes get grey and cloudy and then the rain begins to fall.”

You look over to Joel's profile, his warm eyes transfixed on the road before him, his lips slightly smirking, a stark contrast to the rest of his overwise, hard exterior. A beat goes by, and you remember that you're starting and should look away.

“Then the rain begins to fall, pitter patter, pitter patter.”

“Didn't pin you for an old school music kinda gal, no offense, darling.”

You softly laugh. “Yeah well I like all kinds of music to be honest, but I just thought I would try and romatisic walking in the pouring rain to work and make it less miserable.”

Joel hums at your answer, seemingly not hating the music and maybe even enjoying the slow tunes. A new song starts playing as you near your work.

“Just a song before I go, to whom it may concern.”

“Mhhmmm good song. Love me some Crosby, Stills, and Nash.”

You smile to yourself thinking how when you first heard this song it reminded you of Joel. Your smile falters when you arrive at work and realise you have to leave Joel.

“Well thank you so much for the ride. Honestly such a life saver.”

“Anytime doll. Have a good shift.”

*********

That whole shift, your mind was preoccupied with thoughts of Joel, and you kept having to catch yourself, smiling wide to yourself like a dork. Quickly biting your tongue so you wouldn't get weird looks from the grin plastered on your face. Then your mind traveled to other places as you imagined yourself ‘thanking’ Joel for the ride.

“Thank you for the ride, Joel. However can I thank you?”

“Aw you don't need to thank me sugar, just seeing your pretty face is thanks enough.”

Your hands reach over and lightly grip the middle of his thigh, rubbing back and forth. Your eyes glossing over with lust as you glance at him. 

“Are you sure? I could help you with something in return.”

You watch him closely, grinning as his Adam's apple bobs, swallowing thickly.  You peer down at his jeans and see his evident excitement growing in his jeans, you bite your lip as you boldly cup him through his denim’s. He begins panting, a growl forming in the back of his throat, both a warning and dare to keep going. 

You move so you are more parallel, facing Joel and begin to slowly unzip his jeans. You shuck his jeans halfway down his thighs. Your mouth subconsciously waters, looking at his hefty size straining through his black boxers. You finally reach out and grab him through his boxers. Joel's head falls back against his head rest, a hiss passing through his teeth. 

You smile as you take his weeping cock out from its restraints. His girthy size, uncovered elicits a small gasp from you, to which he grins crookedly at. Before you let intimidation get the best of you, you reach out and start stroking his cock, your fingers barely touching where they meet around his width, before your thumb comes to swipe along his slit, shiny with pre-come.

“Don’t tease baby.” he softly growls before repeating it in a softer tone. “ Please don’t tease me baby.”

You look up at him with your doe eyes and mock a frown. Which immediately upturns when your hand quickly fastens it’s strokes, granting a soft moan from Joel's lips. He screws his eyes closed, tightly, relishing in the feel of your soft hands gripping him tightly, milking his pleasure.

The sounds of his growls turned whimpers as you bring him closer to his high spur you on with pure determination. You lower your body till your tongue makes contact with his tip, licking around the salty dark red head. Joel’s body jolts slightly, the muscles in his thighs tensing for a moment. You smile to yourself from how sensitive Joel is as you slip his tip past your lips. 

“Fuck…” He quietly whispers.

His chest rises up and down rapidly, and he wills himself to open his eyes so he can see the beauty before him. He swears he nearly comes as he makes eye contact with you, your pretty eyes boring into his own, as you take him deeper into your mouth. His big hand comes up to cup the back of your head, resting gently on your scalp. You moan around him at the sweet, comforting gesture.

You can tell he is holding back the urge to buck his hips and fuck your face, the thought which makes your panties continue to grow wetter. But for now you're glad he is letting you take control, letting you thank him. You grip his length a big tighter and stroke what can’t fit into your mouth faster, letting your head lower till his tip touches the back of your throat. You try to fight back the tears that threaten to spill from the corners of your eyes. 

He mutters curse words softly to himself, trying to fight off his nearing orgasm, wanting to feel you hot, wet, perfect mouth around him long as possible, a feeling he could easily get used to, get addicted to. His thumb comes to brush away a stray tear that falls down your blushed cheeks. 

“Fuck…Fuck look so pretty like this darling…taking my fat cock down your throat.”

You can tell he is teetering on the edge as usually quiet Joel is replaced by the Joel who speaks filthy words endlessly into the air.

“Fuck your such a good girl, sucking my cock so damn good for me.”

“You're too good at that sweetheart, sucking the goddamn soul out of me.”

You moan around his cock at his praise, your other hand reaches down to play with his balls.

The combined stimulation is enough to send him over the edge. Joel pants, whines and moans as you work him through his high, eventually pulling away when he hisses from oversensitivity.

Your daydreams are caught short when your boss calls out to you, telling you to go down to storage and get something. You literally shake your head trying to get rid of the dirty fantasies that stain your mind. God forbid anyone could read your mind.

You try and stop thinking about Joel the rest of the shift to which you surprisingly succeed. You do end up with your hand down your pyjama shorts later that night, softly mewing out Joel's name into the quiet late night. Oh how you couldn't wait for another rainy day.

******

[spaceisout]

𝙨𝙚𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙩 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙡𝙙 // 𝙠𝙚𝙞𝙜𝙤 𝙩𝙖𝙠𝙖𝙢𝙞

Words: 2.100

Summary: being married young was never in either of your plans, more or less being married to a hero and a quirkless human. still, it made an interesting switch to your lives, one you might not regret.

Warning(s): angst, fluff,

A/n: I apologize for the delayed update, my week became a lot more busier than I had expected. Also taglist is available to anyone who would like to be updated. Any donations are appreciated it is a way I can help contribute to pay bills while I'm able to get a job <;3

Links: donate to the author, masterlist (coming soon), current series list

Taglist: @alligator-person @bakugosgirl01 @deathkat657 @justanerd1 @multilingual-birb @urdecentartist09

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4 ◁ II ▷ 6

"Woah what is going on?" Keigo asked bewildered.

You quickly walked passed him to your room, "I have stuff to prepare for today's school event!"

He scratched the side of his head watching as you walked from one room to the other. "Well... is everything okay? Do you need a hand?"

"I have most things done." You calmly said grabbing two bags from your room and settling it down beside the living room couch.

"Today's..." Keigo mumbled knowing today was an important day. You had mentioned it to him a few days prior to today's big date. "Oh!" He snapped his fingers together, remembering. "The sport's festival!"

"Yeah!" You exclaimed going into the kitchen and taking out some ingredients from the fridge.

"Do you need a hand?" He walked over, standing in front of the counter watching as you started to make small balls of rice in your hand.

"Um can you get me out the filling? I forgot to take it out." You answered, making a small curved spot in the rice to put in the filling.

"Sure!" Taking the container out labeled with "rice ball filling" he placed it next to you down on the marbled counter. "Can I help make some of them?"

A smile rested on your lips, nodding. "Make sure you wet your hands in the water so the rice doesn't stick to your hands."

"Got it."

"Have you made some before?" You asked grabbing a spoon and scooping some of the filling to put in the middle.

"I used to make them plain when I was a kid." He answered as he recalled his childhood being difficult for a kid his age. "We were poor... sometimes it was hard to make any money to bring home and put food on the table. My father was a criminal who stole, my mom didn't have the guts to leave him. So I had to be creative with the food we did have."

Your eyes began to water. You knew very little about his past life, he only said bits and pieces assuming it wasn't something he was comfortable talking about. You couldn't picture a child his age going through such trauma and violence. Keigo was the sweetest person you had ever met, realizing he went through something like that made your heart ache for him.

Keigo noticed you had become quiet, the half made rice ball sat on the empty plate. He placed his own down and turned to look at you, silent tears ran down your cheeks with your hands clenched tightly.

"(name)... are you―?"

You shook your head, "I―I'm fine..." Sniffling you wiped away your tears. "I'm sorry..."

"Hey, why are you crying?" He softly spoke, placing both hands on each of your cheeks and wiped the tears that escaped gently with his thumbs.

"It's just―" you sniffled trying to speak but became difficult to say anything when you kept remembering what he had told you. "You're an incredible human being... so honest and kind. Someone who doesn't hesitate to save an innocent bystander or lend a hand to someone in need. Knowing you went through something so traumatizing... it breaks my heart because you don't deserve that."

His eyes softened, pulling you into a tight embrace. Gently he caressed the back of your head, smiling with such fondness knowing you cared.

"It happened a long time ago―"

"S―still... I never pictured your past to be so harsh to you." You shut your eyes tightly trying to stop the tears. "I'm sorry I wasn't there to lend a hand o―or even be there to console you when you were just a child."

"(name)." he kissed the side of your head, "I'm okay... actually the day that Endeavor caught my father and put him away in jail was something I never expected to feel good about."

You slightly pulled away to look at him. "R―really?"

Keigo nodded holding the side of your face. "It gave me the ability to take that weight off of my chest. He wasn't a good person and knowing he was gone made me feel reassured that my mom would be safe."

"Have you seen her... at all?"

"I went to go see her after I was out of the hospital when everything happened but she wasn't there anymore."

"I'm sorry... I―I did not know..."

Smiling small he rubbed both sides of your arms comforting you, "Don't apologize, maybe for time being it's best if she's away from the city for awhile. I want her to be safe, who knows maybe in the future I'll take you to go meet her."

"I would like to meet her someday." His wings slightly opened wide hearing you. "I want to... understand where you came from and learn more about you."

There was no clear answer as to what it was about you or the way you talked that brought him comfort. A feeling he had long forgotten about since he was a kid, the longer he stayed around with you the more he was starting to see what it meant to care about someone else.

The sound of your phone ringing broke the moment apart, you pulled away to answer the call. Meanwhile, a smiling Keigo went back to making the small rice balls for your students.

"(name)! Are you almost here?" Mio asked as she started to set up the tables while holding her phone between her ear and shoulder.

"Y―yeah, I am currently finishing getting everything else that I need." You said, "How's the set up going?"

'We are currently half way, the students are doing some last minute practice for the event."

"Are the parents starting to arrive as well?" You asked.

"Um some... but there's still a lot more left for them to arrive." She explained, "Do you need any help?"

"No it's alright I should be leaving in a couple of minutes." Walking over to the counter you started to pack what was already done.

"Great! I kinda need a hand with some last minute things―" Mio looked over at two of her students playing with the water. "Rei! Chi! I told you both to place the water balloons not to throw them around." She sighed, "I have to go before these two end up soaking wet, I'll see you soon."

Chuckling you nodded, even though she couldn't see you. "Okay, good luck with those two."

"These rice balls are done." Keigo proudly smiled as they were individually wrapped tightly in seran wrap.

"Keigo, they look amazing!" You smiled at him, "Thank you for helping me out."

"Is there anything else I can help you with?" He leaned over the counter to look at you.

"Thank you for the the offer, but everything else is already handled."

He slightly pouted, "Okay."

Walking over to him you held the side of his face gently. Keigo leaned in to your touch feeling goosebumps rise on his body.

"It sucks you can't be there to meet my students." You half smiled, "They would have loved to see you."

"Trust me it would have been an honor to meet the kids who are being taught by an amazing teacher."

Leaning in, you kissed his cheek softly. "I should get going."

Keigo nodded letting you go. He ended up calling a taxi for you to take you to school along with helping you to carry your belongings and food.

Resting his forearm against the doorway, "Let me know when you arrived?"

"I will." You said and waved at him goodbye.

He waited for you until he made sure you left safely to school and quickly got ready to leave.

Upon arriving at school you thanked the driver and did your best to juggle all the things you had to bring.

"Woah." A chuckle was heard, coming from behind you. "How much stuff did you bring?"

Looking over your shoulder you saw it was Hizashi. "Care to lend a hand though?"

"Sorry," smiling he walked over and grabbed the bags off of your shoulders. "I did not expect you to bring these many things."

"I saw how hard everyone was working and wanted to make some food, or well treats for them." You explained walking beside him.

"Did your husband lend you a hand?"

"He did," you smiled walking inside the building. "I hope everyone likes the rice balls."

"You did the same filling?"

"Yup!"

"Then everything will be fine." Hizashi assured you, "All the kids are excited to begin soon."

"Hizashi!" Rapid footsteps could be heard getting louder as they approached you both. "We need your help setting up the last of the tables outside please."

He sighed, "I thought Rei was helping you Mio."

"He was called in to the principal's office, there's only one more table left to set up... I promise!" Mio clasped her hands together, begging. "Please?..."

"Alright." Placing the things down he motioned for her to lead the way, "I'll be back to help you (name)."

You waved him off, "I got this, there's no need to."

"Thank you!" Mio exclaimed, relief she quickly walked down the hallway and out to the open field.

As you were putting your things away and leading the food onto your small cart you got a message from your sister.

Himiko | 8:05 AM

I wanted to let you know that I talked with mom and dad about your situation.

"You're kidding right?..." you cursed under your breath immediately replying to her back.

You | 8:06 AM

Why did you even think that was going to be okay? They know about it, I agreed to do this.

Your phone then started to loudly ring in the empty classroom, with your sister's name flashing on the screen.

"I am not going to stand by and let you stay with him!" Himiko expressed, "This isn't the life you should be living."

"And I told you HImiko to stop questioning everything I do." You continued without even taking a moment to breathe, you were livid. "Why do you insist on resolving an issue when there isn't one?!"

"Because there is! Do you know how fucked up it is for you to have been part of the bargain in order for dad to get financial help?!"

You tried your very hardest to calm down the pulsing feeling in your head by breathing in and out deeply. "Look, Himiko this marriage isn't yours to butt into."

"What happened to my sister who wanted to pick out her special partner?" She questioned, "The one who couldn't wait to find the one and be happy with someone who actually cares about you? Are you seriously telling me that you do not care about that stuff anymore?"

"I have always dreamed of having someone special in my life but things sometimes don't go the way you want them to okay-"

"I know right now you're too new at your marriage and you do not fully understand what it means t be tied down to one person."

"Yes I do!" You retorted but of course it wasn't enough for your sister.

"No you do not, (name). The further you stay in this arranged marriage the more miserable you'll be." She ran her fingers through her hair, sighing deeply. "I've seen it first hand myself... people change and not for the better. Being in secret and locked up in a foreign place does things to you. I don't want my sister to go through that not if I can help it."

"I'm sorry you think that way... but my situation isn't the same. Keigo is the sweetest person I have met, he's attentive and caring." You said trying to open her eyes to how your marriage really was. "He always makes sure that I am okay and looks out for me. We wait up for each other when the other gets home late a-and we stay up talking about our day." A smile formed on your lips as you recalled each moment with him. "I may still not know what marriage is... but this is the best relationship I ever been in Himiko. And I am not going to let your insinuations and judgement ruin something that might evolve."

Himiko's voice faltered, "You're going to regret it, (name). And I won't hesitate to tell you I told you so."

"Maybe I will... or maybe I won't. That doesn't mean I'm going to sit back and listen to you. So you can try all you want... but I'm not going to give up on Keigo."

You ended the call before you let her get in another word. It pained you to fight with the only sibling you had in your life, but you were going to stand your ground no matter what.

Blinking away the loose tears you grabbed your full cart and made your way to where your students were waiting for you. This day was about them and you weren't about to ruin it with your problems or negative emotions.

"Miss, (last name)!" Sato exclaimed running over to you. Her little arms wrapping around your waist as he bend down to hug her with one arm as well. "It's about to start!"

"I know," you smiled. "Are you excited to have some fun?"

She confidently smiled looking up at you. "I'm ready to win."

"I can tell you won't be one to give up without a fight."

Sato nodded, "Do you need help Miss?"

"It's actually not a lot but thank you for offering to help out." You said, "You should get warmed up in the meanwhile."

"I'm waiting for Sayo and Tadashi too!" She mentioned, "Suzuki is with his parents."

"I see, did yours arrive yet?"

"Yup! They promised to cheer me on and watch me from the stands!"

"I'm glad to hear that-"

"Hana! Let's go take a picture before the events starts sweetie." Her mom yelled.

Sato nodded at her direction and turned back to look at you. "I promise I'll make you proud!" She waved at you as she ran back to her parents.

You smiled back waving at her as well.

Sometimes it was crazy to see that one day your students will end up graduating soon. All hope you is that they end up continuing with their lives, happy without any worry or caring about anyone else's opinion about themselves. You wish you could shield them from harmful things, but you knew those lessons are some they need to learn as well.

A little over an hour later and the event was finally beginning. All the classes from different grades were already sorted into different groups for the events. The teachers stood on the sidelines waiting for it to start.

"Miss (Last Name) would you do us the honors and start the event?" The principle asked as she handed you the microphone.

"Of course." Taking the microphone you walked over to the small podium where one of the students stood on. Turning on the mic you then spoke, "Hello, everyone! I'm very happy to see so many parents joining us for this special fun event. I know all of our kiddos have practiced non stop to make this a memorable day. We hope you enjoy yourselves and cheer them on as loudly as you can. Now we will be listening to one of our top students, Haru Shiota."

You gave the student and encouraging smile as you handed him the microphone. "You've got this."

They nodded and took it with shaky hands. His eyes roamed the huge crowd of unknown adults and students.

"T―thank you... f―for joining us today!" Shiota stuttered, "We hope to make you p―proud!"

Everyone clapped, you ruffled his hair a bit trying to comfort him. Luckily he was able to breathe again, with a bounce in his step he got off the podium and made his way back to his group.

"The first event will be an obstacle course!" You announced, "Ready?" There was a pause, everyone eagerly waiting for you to say the final word. "Go!"

As soon as the students began to run, the parents started to scream loudly to make sure they heard them. Some of them even ran along with them to get pictures of their child running. It was honestly such a heart warming event to see.

"They're getting close aren't they?" Mio spoke as she walked over to stand by your side.

"Yeah, it's going to be such a close call." You said watching intently as one of your kids was getting closer to third place.

"Do you think your husband would like these type of events?"

"Hm... most likely yeah." A smile lifted on the corner of your lips. "His childhood was very different I'm sure he would have loved to even be part of it."

Mio smiled, "I'm glad to see he's making you happy."

You cheered on your students on as they got closer to the end of the obstacle course.

"Go, Sato!" You yelled, clapping. "You're so close!"

In a moments notice, she was able to take over second and first place in the end. The first win officially went over to your class.

"Yeah!" Mio yelled cheering her own students for winning second place.

Grabbing the mic you spoke into it again, "Congrats to Sato for grabbing first place along with the other two students, Tanaka and Yoshida for winning second and third! Everyone did such an amazing job. Please make sure to get ready for the second event."

"Ooh did you make the rice balls?!" Mio exclaimed as she saw some of the students and staff walking over to the tables filled with food.

"Actually my husband did..." You shyly spoke trying to get used to referring him as your husband.

"I need to try them then! Do you want me to bring you one?"

You shook your head, "I had one earlier, go and enjoy them!"

Mio did not waste another second and quickly headed over to the food section.

A sigh escaped your lips as you closed your eyes then opened them again. Your body started to feel tired, it was mostly mental exhaustion from earlier. Still, it sucked that the people you thought would support you the most were the ones hurting you.

"Miss (Last Name)!" The principal exclaimed, "I forgot to tell you that we have a few guests today!"

You looked at her with a puzzled look, "Guests?..."

She nodded eagerly, smiling from ear to ear. "I was able to talk to some of the heroes and they accepted our invitation―"

A sudden force of wind then grabbed everyone's attention. Hizashi tried to hold onto the tables steady in case they fell over. Mio did her best to hold on to the shade covers as well.

You lifted your arms up to cover yourself form the dust that was picked up because of the wind.

"I apologize for arriving late, I hope the fun hasn't ended yet."

Immediately you recognized that voice, your eyes widened in shock not believing who was standing a few feet away from you.

Keigo smiled at everyone, the kids were shocked seeing he was there in person. But it warmed his heart knowing that he was able to brighten up their day. His eyes scanned the crowd searching for you. A frown started to form on his face until he finally found you.

His eyes glowing brighter than before, he waved at everyone but his eyes pointed at your direction. You couldn't help but smile seeing him, a slight blush covering your cheeks.

It wasn't only him who had arrived, there was also Endeavor and Best Jeanist along with other future heroes who had accompanied them.

The principal quickly grabbed the mic, "Everyone, we have some special guests! Let me introduce you to some of the top heroes of Japan, Endeavor, Hawks, and Best Jeanist! Along with some of Japan's future heroes from U.A High!"

It was unbelievable.

Your students ran eagerly over to them, Endeavor was smiling at them while Best Jeanist crouched down to ruffle their hair.

"Wow, I did not think you'd be able to convince them to come (name)!" Mio said, watching in the same shocked smiled expression as you.

"I―I didn't..." You explained, "The principle was actually the one who made it possible."

"Well it was your suggestion," Hizashi said standing beside you, "I'm glad it worked out in the end."

Keigo smiled, waving at everyone.

"I can't believe you didn't come through the main door." Best Jeanist said.

"Well I do have wings you know, why not make an epic entrance?" He smirked.

"Because we came together? It would have been best for all of us to show up." Endeavor added.

Best Jeanist shook his head and walked over to the students that were waiting to talk to him.

The students from U.A also interacted with them, some of the teachers even asked them questions.

But the certain golden brown eyes couldn't keep himself from looking at your direction. You had to tell him with your eyes to stop looking over at you and to focus on them.

"Is Hawks, checking you out?" Mio said.

"W―what no!" You retorted quickly looking away.

"He's curious about you, damn even though you're married you are still getting hit on." She whined, "No fair!"

"Don't be jealous there's guys who check you out too Mio." Hizashi said.

"Yeah but what good does it do if none of them ask me out?!"

Unbeknownst to you, Keigo started to walk over to you three with such confidence in hopes of getting a reaction out of you. There was immediate silence as he looked at you guys. His eyes going from Hizashi to Mio and finally landing on you.

He stretched out his hand, "You must be the teacher the kids keep talking about am I right? Miss (Last Name)?"

You wanted to physically fan yourself to calm down but you knew it would be too obvious. With a calm smile, you shook his hand not being able to ignore how perfectly it molded together with his own.

"I―It is very nice to meet you, Hawks."

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

i keep repeating in my head, it's okay and it's gonna be okay. i'm seven weeks into my busy season, and one of the things i like about tutoring as a job is that it has a busy season meaning that it also has a lax season, i like having a life organized into seasons and spurts, and by january most of these kids will have taken their tests and be done with tutoring. my busy season has been busier than usual partly due to some financial catching up via other freelance work and partly due to i just kind of miscalculated my load with the summer breaks and am a little too scheduled, but my one ACT kid is taking her final text next weekend which means tuesdays will be less gnarly and i don't have to prep any more ACT science sections (the worst and most horrible of all the tests). i am not being very proactive about staying connected but i am not completely holed up in the tunnel between home and work either. i am not writing as much as i wish i were or on the project i wish i were working on but i am not writing nothing and when i finish the thing i am writing it will be the first proper draft of an original short story i have ever written, and i am actually pretty sure i will finish this draft because one thing that writing six hundred thousand words of fanfiction in the past four years has shown me is how it feels to know that you have reached the point where the story exists and you just need to keep writing it and this feels like that, although i also already have notes i am saving for draft two someday far in the future because i simply cannot cope with attempting to incorporate them now. before this year i had never completed a 6-week workout program but i have worked out five times a week every single week all these seven weeks and while life or illness or whatever may send me off course i have no real doubt anymore i'll finish the final three weeks of the one i'm doing and then go on to something else. i read a biography of lorraine hansberry for my book club and the haunting of hill house and maureen ryan's book about the toxicity of hollywood and i am reading my friend's hardcover novel that was once a 14-page word document she emailed me nine years ago. i am not sleeping at the most normal human hours but i am not waking up at noon or at eleven or even at ten nearly all days. i am eating a lot of frozen burritos and club sandwiches at local chains but i almost never order delivery anymore except for period burger. a few nights ago i was home alone and fell into a hole of such profound sadness that i howled into my pillow like a child or a wounded animal expecting to spend hours like that but to my own surprise it seemed i sort of screamed it out and after a few minutes of that i felt quite calm. today i went to a museum and next weekend i will be going to a wedding! i should probably start meditating again. it's okay maybe to simply maintain what i feel i can maintain and trust that when i have more time i will resume the project of learning to make better use of it. it is okay actually. no maybe. it's okay and it's gonna be okay.

[myo-cass]

Ok so, I've basically just wrote an entire Megica Exes fanfic in my shower, and I wanted to write down just the basics in case I go back to this someday. (By the way, this is for @mari-bon since they asked for my explanation so kindly)

Meg and Chica were like best friends during middlechool, and as they grew older they started crushing on each other, and eventually they started dating

Meg's dream was always to have a Band and when she shared that with Chica she totally supported the idea and even offered to be the first member to join, however, at the time (maybe around 8th grade) Chica didn't know how to play any instrument

Meg decided she would teach her How to play bass, since that's the only instrument she knew how to play (If anyone's wondering, she learned it all by herself. She found an old bass on the trash and restored it with Spring's help)

Both of them put out fliers around the school motivating people to join their band. Then one day during luch, two people approached them, a red haired girl with blue eyes and a boy with blue hair streaks and greeb eyes, they were Toddy and Bon, who were eachother's childhood best friends

They wanted to join the band, and soon enough they were in. A few months later Meg told the rest of the band that she befriended a shy blond girl she meu during luch, named Joy, and she wanted to join the band as well

From the begining, Meg made it clear that she wanted for the band's first show to include Chica, but after sometime, that was not possible. Chica still hadn't learned enough to be able to keep up with them

And since she didn't want to make them lose big opportunities, she said that she wouldn't mind doing the backstage things for them

She always had a kind of inferiority complex so the moment she saw all of them play toghether, she throught that they wouldn't need her on the band. And after their first show, Los Toys got a lot of job opportunities at local pizzarias and kid's birthday parties, that meant they were a lot busier, making Meg spend less time with her girlfriend

It's not like Meg didn't want to hang out with Chica, it's just that she got really carried away with the money she was receiving, after all, she was finally able to help her brother financialy

And after some time, the girls started to drift away. But only when Meg realised that, It was too late

After months of them not seeing each other, Chica called off their relationship, wich Meg was not surprised about, but insted mad

"If Chica's unhappy, why didn't she talk to me? Why would she be afraid to talk to me?" That's the only thing she could think, and she couldn't imagine why she wanted to break up

Meg was finally being helpfull to her brother, so why wasn't Chica proud of her?

But it's not like Chica explained what was in her head, how she thought she was useless and annoying to all her girlfriend's new friends

The break up was a mess, Chica wouldn't explain why she wanted to break up and that only made Meg mad

At the end of the day, Meg left confused and angry at her now ex-girlfriend and Chica was not much better than her. She wasn't sure if she had done the right thing, It boa It was too late

Meg didn't know how to handle all of her emotions, so she went streight to Joy's house, looking for emotional support

They talked for hours and since Joy had only heard Meg's side of the story, she thought Chica was being ridoculous. So being the the dumb teenagers that they are, Meg started to ocassionally pick on Chica during school

And I think that's it! That's how Megica became bitter ex-girlfriends in my AU

Sorry if this was too long, but I really enjoy writing for any fandom that I'm in

(Also If anyone want's more headcanons, then hit me up)

[dream-meister-translations]

THIS HOLY NIGHT ALEX - VOICE COLLECTION

━

"I know it's short notice, but I'm honestly glad I get to spend time with you. Let's make the most of our time together."

"I'm feeling more stares than usual, but I wonder, how am I reflected in your eyes when I'm not wearing my knight's uniform?"

"An off-mission excursion is refreshing. If there is a place you're interested in going, I'll go with you."

"Oh this sword? Even when I'm on vacation, I'm prepared to respond quickly…Just in case."

"Careless? Not a chance."

"This…Was because of my weakness."

"A welcome gift."

"Did my wish…Come true?"

"About my normal life…? Unfortunately, I don't think I've done anything special to meet your expectations."

"The more time I spend with you, the more I realize why everyone loves you."

"Not as a knight. Not as a hero. But as an individual. Because of you, I am so."

"Just as Alex. I'd like to spend this warm moment with you…"

"First you're surprised, then you're laughing…You change your expression from one moment to the next. I wonder if there is a side of you that you only show me."

"The time I spend with you…It's slowly changing something inside of me…It's odd…The snow it's not so cold anymore."

"I hope this time with you will last, because these peaceful moments with you are very special to me."

"Your smile, is a smile to protect."

"It's a pure light that cares about people. Your kindness is a little too bright for me."

"Even the weaknesses I want to keep hidden are exposed when around you. You're a real pain in the ass."

"This is the kind of hesitation a hero doesn't need. But right now, just for this moment…"

"Spread your wings with integrity and dance on the blade of mercy."

"Watch your step. The frozen road is slippery. If you don't mind, I can lend you a hand."

"Is it that late already? I'm sorry to have kept you up."

"Emilio? His unwavering swordsmanship is his strength. Of all the Knights of the Sun, he's the one with the best record."

"I can always count on him. On the battlefield and in the affairs of the office. Emilio is always there for me."

"Emilio doesn't get a lot of time off. I hope he's taking this opportunity to stretch his wings."

"Emilio is an excellent subordinate who you can entrust your back to with peace of mind. But, he's usually busier than even you."

"I sincerely hope that this holiday will be a meaningful escape for Emilio."

"What I do on a snowy day, hm? Read books on military tactics, I suppose. It's quiet on snowy days, so you can focus easier."

"It's also important to take care of your physical condition in preparation for emergencies."

"Watching the snow, perhaps? I'm sorry for my uninteresting answers."

"Is that a snow rabbit someone made? It's adorable. Would you like to make one together?"

"Harriet has fast movements and accurate shots. It has helped me many times."

"I appreciate his attitude of always sticking to his beliefs. That's an important trait for a knight."

"As you know, Harriet is quite free-spirited. If you have any trouble dealing with him, let me know."

"Harriet often comes to me to talk about the wonders of true love."

"Harriet is the only person who visits my office for purposes other than work."

"Harriet is only interested in other people. Not himself. Maybe it's in his nature.. Or maybe it's just his own way to love."

"Was it hard to hear my voice? It must be because the wind is picking up."

"Why are you so close? Because my hands are cold? You're so kind. Thank you for warming them."

"Even if this is just a vacation, I promise I'll protect you. You will be safe at my side."

"You like this new look? If you wish to walk with a pretty girl, you have to dress appropriately."

"Your fingertips are a little cold. May I warm them with my hands?"

"May the world be at peace…Hmm? You're face is all tense. Perhaps you were trying to make my wish come true."

"To be strong isn't so much a wish. It is more a commitment."

"You want to know my favorite restaurant? There's a place I like to go. A good place to get a drink. If you want, I can take you sometime."

"Would you like some coffee too? It's my favorite brand. Be careful not to get burned."

"This tomato soup is excellent. I look relaxed for once? It's a little embarrassing when you point it out."

"This is the first time I've ever seen this art form. Is it called "latte art?" Mine…Has a bear on it. Yours is a rabbit. Ha, both are adorable. But isn't this a waste of a drink?"

"If you don't mind, will you look at me a little longer? I want to cherish these moments together."

"Are you interested in me without the mask? I have a particularly uninteresting face, don't I?"

"With you, any moment seems to turn into a special memory. My heart is racing…"

"Every time it snows, I'll remember your smile from today."

"The reason I feel so warm just being close to you is because you're the one next to me."

"Let's move and warm up, you say? Does that mean you want to train? Luckily I carry a sword with me-Fufu, just kidding, I wouldn't do such a stupid thing when I'm out with a girl."

"You're the only one who has ever played with my hair…Of course, I don't mind…"

"When I deal with you, I'm unexpectedly relaxed…I'm not blaming you…I'm just confused."

"You're the only person I'd ever allow this kind of contact with."

"How long has it been since I met you?"

"To be able to share my warmth and open up to someone like this…? To be honest, I'm still shocked."

"In order to repay your kindness, I promise to work even harder in the future."

"I appreciate your feelings, but I want to keep my hands free."

"I am humbled by your concern."

"You shouldn't touch me so inappropriately. Especially because you are a beautiful young woman. Some people will get the wrong idea."

━

ALEX : I wonder what everyone in Chevalier is doing right now. I hope they're spreading they're wings as much as they can. EMILIO : I'd like to show them we had a fun time on vacation too. Let's get some souvenirs when we head home.

━

ALEX : House party decorations…I'm not familiar with this kind of thing. Idio, may I ask your opinion? IDIO : Well, I don't really know, but wouldn't it be nice to have stars or something?

━

ALEX : Shall we fight side by side again? EMILIO : It's always an honor, Commander.

━

ALEX : Don't slip in the snow! IDIO : Yes, yes, I knoooow~

[lantur]

I can't believe I haven't written in almost two weeks. :// I really regret falling so behind with journaling on here. I want to get back to it, because it helps me process my thoughts. Long post underneath the read more.

notes on life,

I was thoroughly overwhelmed by my work trip two weeks ago, but I was delighted to get to see @thatisadamnfinecupofcoffee and @annespelledwithane again. Spending time with them (going out for ramen and to the prettiest tea house in the East Village, and then eating an entire buffet of desserts from two different bakeries, and staying up until 2 AM) was a mini-vacation I very much needed.

It took me a whole week to recover from being out of town for a few days. :// I truly don't bounce back from travel the way I used to a few years ago...

I've been in my new job for almost exactly one month now. The challenging transition phase is over. I'm still adjusting to being way busier than I used to be, putting a lot more mental effort in. It's tiring. Every day, I do roughly as much work as I used to do in one week at my old job, so I have to work faster and harder than I used to before. It makes the days go by super fast, which is disorienting. I feel like February just started, but actually the month started eight days ago.

I've been trying to keep on top of my personal goals despite all of that. I've been enjoying swimming and yoga. I cooked a new recipe, halal cart chicken and rice, and it turned out really good. I'm hoping to cook two more new recipes before the end of this month. I finished my audiobook of The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater, and it was so good that I kept thinking of the ending for days after I finished it. I started listening to My Best Friend's Exorcism by Grady Hendrix a few days ago as well.

I had my long-awaited psychiatrist appointment yesterday. I was nervous, but the psychiatrist was very kind and empathetic, and she is also another WOC. She has suggested starting a new medication to treat type 2 bipolar disorder. I'm nervous, but hopeful that this could help me.

I've been going through pelvic floor physical therapy as well for the past couple of weeks, which is quite a time and energy commitment - weekly appointments with the PT, and regular practice at home. It's tiring, on top of everything else going on with work, social life, home maintenance, exercise, etc., but I'm hopeful that this too will help me address longstanding issues with excessive pelvic floor tightness. I wish it could be fixed quickly, but I think it might take months to sort out.

I've been enjoying spending time with Derek playing board games, and cuddling my cat Westin and watching The Wire at night/in the evenings after work. The quiet time really helps me recover before the next work day.

I have been loving watching The Last of Us.

I had a wonderful time hanging out with my little nieces, five and almost three years old, on Saturday and playing hide and seek with them. <3

I had a dream that really hit me hard a couple of nights ago. I dreamed I got to see my brother again. We hung out, and I gave him a big hug. I was adopted, so we weren't raised together. We only saw each other once every few years, until our families became estranged. I haven't seen him in 10 years now, as we live in different countries. We're in touch occasionally over text. I wrote on here last fall that I thought I processed my grief over that separation, and found surrogate siblings in my brothers- and sisters-in-law via Derek's family. So this dream hit me hard. I wouldn't have normally done this, but I sent my brother a short text tonight, just saying I was thinking about him and I hope he and his wife are doing well. It hurts a lot. I always wonder if I'm ever going to see him again. I would love to give him and my sister-in-law a hug.

I'm looking forward to therapy on Friday. I haven't been able to have an appointment in about three weeks or so, and I'm excited to be able to process my thoughts and feelings with my therapist, and getting back to doing that on here by myself as well.

[ppangjae]

HI :D i haven’t written in a veryyyyyyyy long while ! How are you doing? Are you looking after yourself more? I always think about you :) and your wellbeing because youre the most important writer on tumblr i know and one of my favourites and i literally cannot fathom losing someone like you, someones whose writing has quite literally changed my life and shaped the way i view other authors and the time, emotion and need for meaningful appreciate to encourage these works with quality beyond words but also how i take in these fics - not even, art! I havent said this at all while ive been following you but your writing, you, your hardships gosh :( you are sososo important to me, many of us readers i can assure you that and from reader/s to writer; I - We love you a lot alex ! <3 stay happy and healthy

hi love!

aw.. thank you for being so kind and for such kind words. it has indeed been quite a while (a long while, honestly) and a lot has changed since then! i've become more busier and occupied because of all the things going on in my life hehe. and trust me, i do think about getting back to writing even if it's just a short drabble! it's just a bit difficult to actually sit down and find the time to actually start lol.

i've been keeping well and i hope you have been too!

a lot has happened for the past few months.. i've been looking after my parents, saving up money, working (currently on a job hunt), and i've also (as cheesy as it might sound) have met the love of my life LOL which is wild!

i'm so happy that my fics have changed and touched your life in some way. i reminisce the memories i have tied with this fic blog because it truly made this blog special. i miss raving over a fic idea i've dreamt about, imagining all the different scenarios a fic could have in my head, and writing it for days and nights.

again, thank you for checking up on me! and for such kind words!

be rest assured that i've been doing okay hehe and my clumsy self is definitely being taken care of hehe

take care, love! and stay safe!

[thatmexisaurusrex]

who could you call a friend between your mutuals? what do you think is sam's fav colour?

Ooh 🤔 Okay, I'll answer the Sam question first: I think it's red. He uses the color a lot in his costume and Redwing - it just makes sense.

As for friends between mutuals, lemme list some.

@samothy-wilson is a joy. Bee's a wonderful person and I always love talking with them, whether it's random animal posts, comic stuff, or sambucky absurdity. And I'm getting to that sequel to the Bone Man soon, I swear 😂 💜 💜 💜

@runzu fantastic! They're kind and great to talk with. They have made a lot of my fics better with a good beta and they just brighten my day.

@elektraking is always someone I love seeing around. I love talking to her whenever I get the opportunity and her posts always brighten my day.

@obsessivelymoody is always wonderful to chat with. She's always so kind and encouraging and I love seeing her on discord. She's a magnificent writer and just a good overall person.

@yammz is someone I honestly need to get back to talking to more because I love whenever I see Amy around. She's so fun to talk to and she's made fics I've written better through her beta. I still need to get back to you about that one idea, and I swear I will, it's just my life has been way busier than I expected 😭

@hot-chocolates-world is a magnificent human being who I've probably poked enough by making a tush collection out of a whole body of pictures she collected, but her posts are always an inspiration to see and while we don't have the most interaction together, I enjoy our small moments.

@cataroo was someone who was there for me at the very beginning and one of the first people I really interacted with in the beginning, if only through comments and when I started to get on discord. She's kind and so smart and I love that she was one of my first introductions to this fandom.

@jules-of-the-crown is someone I love talking to whenever we cross paths. I love her on discord, I love her on here. She's so sweet and a magnificent writer, whether it be stony or sambucky or sambuckyquin. Plus, she, Cat, and Elektra are all fans of a particularly wonderful hockey series I enjoy, so it's nice to know that there are other people I know who love those books.

@meidui is a joy. Hands down, one of the most wonderful people to talk to, even if we don't talk much. I still have that ask of yours that I'm working on! It's coming out eventually haha Life has been a little crazy but it's on the schedule 💜 But you create fantastic Stony work and your just so sweet and thank you for being you!

@samcky is someone I usually see on here, but sometimes she's around discord too. She's a beautiful artist when it comes to gifs and the work that she's made is astounding and amazing. We don't talk much, but I love seeing her around and every post she makes is a gem.

@bisamwilson is someone I've been talking more to on both here and discord, and while we don't always interact a lot, I love talking or adding to an idea on a discord prompt together. She's a beautiful human being who is just too kind and one of these days, you, me, and T are making that very southern SamBucky fic by Frankensteining our experiences 😂

@saryasy is so fantastic to see around. We don't talk always, but I love the moments we do interact. You're such a talented writer and you're just too sweet and I like our little moments together.

@itchytoaster isn't someone I interact with too much, but I see them on discord sometimes and here, and it's always nice seeing them.

@liminalmess is always wonderful to see too! I love seeing them around whenever I do, and I promise, I'll get back to you on that one fic, my life has just been so hectic 😭 But they've been so encouraging and wonderful whenever I see them on discord and I just love seeing them.

@logicheartsoul is someone I see all the time. We interact sometimes on here and it's always a joy to do so. A-chan's such a smart, thoughtful person and they're posts are fantastic. Its nice to know that they're around in the fandom.

@wenellyb is someone I don't talk to too much, but I see them around tumblr and they always have such insightful posts and they're always kind whenever we cross paths.

There's definitely a whole lot more out there who I would consider friends, but I can't remember their tumblr names on here or I'm not sure if they have tumblrs 🤔 But I've met so many wonderful people in this fandom and idk I just wanted to gush about them 🥰

[bookwyrminspiration]

hello my lovely loveliest dearest favorite quil <333 I have finally actually returned with a slight rebrand and many tales to tell.

How are you bestie!!! I missed you So SO much and it's literally so rude that I can't send you all of the things that make me think of you. Like I swear my partner is gonna be jealous at this point because I'm literally like omg I literally need to show this to quil. It is a necessity. (If you're wondering it was a hoodie that had the classic university logo and said Silly Goose University and I decided that we needed them to match with our friendship bracelets.)

Anyway I am eyeing your new writing up very very closely and am itching to go to Ao3 and read ALL of it. (The urge is quite strong now that I have started Thinking about it, however this ask is taking long enough bc I have to take Wiggle™ breaks because holy bestie I am SO happy to talk to you once again.)

Speaking of your writing I was struck with the most incredible fantastic amazing art idea after looking at some of my old wings AU doodles. However, my drawing tablet went through the shredder (<- Puppy) I have to WAIT. To give the full idea justice but trust me bestie I'm so excited to show it to you.

Anyway I've been extra ramble-y but HI HOW ARE YOU I MISSED YOU WHAT IS GOING ON WITH YOUR LIFE.

I'd love all of your thoughts and feelings and I miss you and ily and I'm so happy like I kid you not this ask has taken. So much effort because I cannot sit still writing this to you. I have. The Dumbest Smile on my face. <3333333

(Please note that this ask is meant to be read as if I am laying on your bed kicking my feet in the air while excitedly talking, thank you 😌)

TOBI!!!! I was just thinking about you the other day!! My dad and I were watching Labyrinth for the first time in a while, and when I realized the baby's name was Toby (i'd forgotten) I just went...ah..Tobi...I hope he's doing well...

I'm doing alright! I've been very busy this semester, and we are approaching finals so it's probably only going to get busier soon. But! This has been my first semester mostly in person in a very long time! And I'm officially fully in uni rather than dual credit, so I'm somewhere else now and have met SO many people. Actually am planning to meet up with one of them tomorrow to go to a restaurant/museum for class! And to watch a few movies with two others sometime soon.

lots of reflections on that because relationships of all kinds have been. rather difficult my whole life, so we'll see what happens here! also would 100% wear some silly goose university hoodies with you <3. move aside tobi's partner I need to glue BOTH of his hands to mine. forever

Also!! If you read my fics I'll love you forever and ever and ever even more. This new titz one has been sitting for several months, but I finally pulled it back out! And I am rather nervous about it because Fitz and Tam are both particular characters, and so combining them just makes them even harder to write. and THEN! throwing in Fitz's Alvar feelings makes that EVEN MORE difficult. but! it was also an absolute delight to work on so I hope you like it :)

and holy shit wings au art!!! i trust you so much I am so excited to see it--and don't worry about however long it takes! wings au is years in the writing, i've got experience with patience. wait btw, I don't know if you're aware, but I'm attempting to post the epilogue soon! I have the rough draft and the anniversary is coming up, so I'm hoping to have it edited to post on the ending's anniversary. it's a little over a week away, but also finals are descending AND its nano, so we'll see what happens. it WILL be out by the end of the year for certain though (and during october I went through and re-edited the whole thing for grammar and details--it's ridiculous how many its it's mistakes there were because i KNEW the difference. i'd just autopilot do one or the other and not catch it in my quick edits)

I keep pausing to do little claps and stim because. tobi!!! it's so so cruel we can't lay in bed kicking our feet together, i have missed you so so so much! what has been up with YOU? how has your life been? what's up with the blog migration--if you want to talk about it. also totally cool to simply accept it and move on. i just like talking to you and it's very nice to see you again :)

[clubwnderland]

⤷⋆⋆ 𝑺𝒂𝒏 𝑼𝒑𝒅𝒂𝒕𝒆 ♡

I had been watching a lot of action movies lately and playing Street Fighter on my arcade machine so I thought... why not be one? Meet Jace! Why Jace? I don't know, I just thought the name was badass and made me look hot haha he kicks ass first and takes names later!

Wiping his brow, San lets out a sigh of relief when everything is done and Irene tells the workers to get ready. "I'll help get this stuff away," he says, helping Chan and Juyeon with leftover supplies and putting them in the storeroom for now. There's a chuckle coming from the others as he stops by to grab a drink of water and San rolls his eyes. It's honestly hard work trying to keep up with demons and werewolves who were all barely breaking a sweat while San needs to have a shower before getting ready.

It's not like he's complaining. He loves his job, he loves what he does and those that he gets to work with but... sometimes he does wish that they knew what it was like. San only wishes that Chan understood how hard it can be to carry heavy crates of drinks back and forth all night. He wishes that Juyeon understood how easy a heart can break when not treated with care. He wishes his co-workers knew how to appreciate the small things that they so easily scoff at.

It takes him a while to get ready, the detail that takes the longest for him to work out is the make-up over his face and torso, making it look like he's all grubby and been in a fight but luckily Jangmi is more than happy to help when she had finished getting ready. "Nice outfit," San says, smiling when she makes him sit down.

She gets her make-up palette open and even grabs the Halloween kit that she had bought earlier that day. "It's not an outfit! I drank a potion, I'm a bunny for the night!" Jangmi smiles brightly, bringing the brush to his skin and starts what she would call a masterpiece. San's eyes widen; he isn't surprised by the fact that she had changed her entire being but what does surprise him is that she risked some kind of mishap happening to her again. He's still haunted by what happened, being the Devil for that period of time had really given him a new appreciation for Irene and... he never ever wants to have to deal with that again.

Jangmi can play with fire like that - he's fine the way he is.

"There we go~." She taps the brush to his nose. Giggling as she does so before skipping off to go and deal with the big, scary looking God who has been watching from one of the booths, San thanks her and grabs his phone and sends Yura a message with a selfie of himself attached. 'I'll be able to finish early tonight! Come to the club for a little bit, what do you say?' He sends her some kisses and hearts, totally trying to make her giggle before he hears Irene call for everyone to get into position. Walking over to the switches, San looks around as bodies move quickly and flicks the main lights off and turns all the other lights on.

It's go time.

The night feels like its dragging on, the hours slowly ticking by while the club starts getting busier. A good turn out, as always, but San is just wanting to be out there and having fun like everyone else his age.

But this is the life he chose when he started working there.

His whole expression changes, his smile grows more genuine when San sees Yura and her friends making their way through the crowd. All he can think about as he sees her walking towards him is that he is seriously the luckiest man in here; anyone can disagree with him but he will still say it.

He's not really needed tonight which makes him feel like he's being given a chance to get out there and do whatever he wanted. Irene had hired a few extra hands for the night so when the women arrive, he rushes over to Chan and taps his shoulder. "I'm gonna go dance with my girl," San beams, running around the bar to give Yura a hello kiss.

"She's not your girl yet," Chan calls out but he doesn't acknowledge it, waving dismissively while they head to the dance floor.

"I still have an hour," he says, speaking into Yura's ear so she can hear him over the music, "and then I'm all yours!" He grins as they dance, bodies moving as one to the beat of the music and he's loving it. His hands are on her hips, gripping her tightly to keep her close, he closes his eyes for a moment to revel in this. When was the last time they were able to do something like this? He hopes that when his shift is over that they can continue the good, fun vibes and head out to go somewhere else. Somewhere that isn't a club run by the Devil and other supernatural creatures. He has an idea, something that he wants to do since it's been a while but it needs to be a group consensus, right? He can't just...

"Do you want to stay here when you finish?" Yura asks, arms around his neck and lips tickling the shell of his ear as she speaks.

Shaking his head, he knows exactly where he wants to go once his shift is over. "A friend of mine is having a house party," he suggests, "it's not as pack as this but it'll be a nice, regular house party." San hopes that she picks up what he means by that, that they can go and do something normal. Something human.

As much as San loves working at the club, being the only human does have its obvious downsides and part of it is always feeling a little left out when it comes to... well, everything.

Yura turns away, San still holding onto her from behind, resting his chin on her shoulder, as she speaks to her friends to see if they are wanting to head over to this house party he had mentioned or stay here and possibly go club hopping. His hips are still moving with the music, the heat from the packed club has sweat sliding down the back of his neck and potentially causing his make-up to smudge but it doesn't matter, nothing really matters because the night will be spent with Yura and that's all he cares about right now.

That's what he's thinking about, how much he loves her, how much he's enjoying this time with her, before she turns flawlessly in his arms and gives him a wide smile. "It's a plan."

He feels so human. Being out, in costume, a little tipsy and singing along with whatever song is playing on the radio, he feels so human.

When they had reached the party, some of San's friends were already waiting for him to arrive and as soon as they get out of the car and rush over to say their hellos the party really got started. Everyone is dressed up, some as werewolves, some as characters from games, a few witches, vampires, the works but everyone there, as far as San knows, are human and it makes the night seem that much more special.

They got to drink, play beer pong and kiss under the strobe light while everyone cheers them on and laughs as San dips Yura low, nearly causing them to fall over by how quickly he does it. They got to sing at the top of their lungs and eat lukewarm slices of pizza that tastes like the best thing that they've ever eaten. They got to call a cab and stumble into Yura's place, hushing each other as they giggle and try to take off their shoes.

They were able to do things that San hasn't done in a while. He hasn't gone out drinking with friends because he's always so aware of everything and everyone due to work. He hasn't been able to eat terrible fast food because he's too busy trying to stay healthy and keep up with those around him. He certainly hasn't been able to spend this time with Yura in a while, something he deeply regrets but tries to make up for as he kisses her every chance that he gets.

They got to be normal. A normal couple. Something that seems like a rarity in his life these days.

"You really wanted to get out of there, didn't you?" Yura says as she wraps her arms around his neck, his hands instantly moving to her waist and holding her close.

Chuckling, San's hands slowly help her undress, removing the tight fitting costume from her body as they move towards the bedroom. "I just wanted to be normal for once." Kissing her before pulling the shirt over her head and dropping it to the ground.

They slowly help each other settle for the night, San helping Yura into her night clothes while Yura cleans off the make-up that had managed to survive the night. They wind down, talking about the night and settling into each other's embrace before soft, sleepy goodnights are whispered and Yura falls asleep. San lays there, eyes heavy with sleep as he looks at the woman in his arms for a moment and smiles softly. "I love you." He whispers before finally laying down to rest, falling asleep with her which is something he loves doing.

Man, he's so lucky to be human.

💙 @blogger-yura

[taegularities]

Hello lovely Rid 💕💕

I know I haven't dropped in for a couple of days but I saw your post about what you've had to deal with recently and I just wanted to send you my love and support. That sounds like a really scary and uncomfortable situation to go through but I hope you know that there is also so much kindness and love in the world and you are deserving of it!! I feel like that's something that we can use a reminder for when we encounter people like that, who seem to lack any of those things. You don't deserve any of the pain or sadness you go through, you deserve love and happiness and it will come to you, I'm sure of it <3

On a lighter note, I saw you saying you might be able to drop cmi 10 on the sixth? That's actually the date of my one year blog anniversary lmaooo what a coincidence. I'm sending you all the energy and motivation and hoping for a smooth writing process, Rid. Life is tough though so please don't worry too much about deadlines since I'm sure everyone is excited to read it whenever it comes out.

You also asked about unhappy endings and even though I think you might know my opinion on angst and sad things already, I just want to say again that I would read anything you wrote, Rid and I would sacrifice my very fragile heart if it means reading another one of your beautiful stories. It's funny because usually when it comes to books I don't mind sad things, in fact the heartbreaking ones are usually my favourites, but with fanfiction I think I just get too attached to the characters and it absolutely tears my heart apart when there's any angst.

Speaking of books, I've been reading more recently and I started a book yesterday where the main character's name is Rin and I'm not joking when I say that my brain read it as Rid the first couple of times. So I think that says a lot about how much you cross my mind I guess.

Sorry that I haven't dropped in much lately, for some reason 9/10 times when I open tumblr these days I feel overwhelmed at the thought of reblogging anything or talking to people 😔 And I've also been in and out of bad moods in general lately so yeah. Hoping that starting classes again, being busier and setting up some kind of routine will help me a bit.

I hope things go well for you too in this busy time Rid, both with classes and with work!! Sending you all of my love always 💞💞💞

hi my love 🤍 thank you so much. it's gotten better but it was scarring for sure.. while i know that there's still so much love and positivity in this world, i'm just so :') closed off, like my brain doesn't want to trust anyone just yet. but good things to come, hopefully hehe

and yeah, i shall definitely try! can't promise anything just yet, but i really want to drop cmi10 in a week or two :D lowkey also want it out, so i can finally get to cmi11!! yeah, i'm the same lmaoo i used to read a lot of angsty novels, but pain hits a lot harder with fics. maybe bc it's our favourite celebrity, too? but like, thank you 🥺 i hope you always go into fics carefully and take a break if you need to. i'll always be grateful you picked up any of my fics at all 🤍

don't worry about tumblr.. i absolutely know what you mean. i guess it's why i've been absent, too. don't know what exactly it is, but this site's been a lot lately :') if you ever need to talk about what's going on, i'm here. hope you feel better soon and that uni starts smoothly for you. love you 💕

[365days365movies]

Hey! hope you're doing alright, I just read your Legend (1985) movie review and noticed that you have a lot of knowedge about fantasy movies from that period, so I wanted to ask if you know a movie that I loved when I was a kid and I have been looking for it for ages.

What I remember about the movie is that the protagonist is a girl with short black hair, who lives in our world but ends in a fantasy world, where she meets a werewolf (If I'm not wrong he tries to eat her but he can't do it, don't remember why he can't), some kind of witch is after this girl, I think she had something the witch wanted (I think the werewolf was the witch's minion). Then I remember the end, where the girl returns to her world and the werewolf follows her because he is in love with her. I also remember at some point in the movie the girl eats an caramel apple and she wans't suppose to do that, don't remember why, also remember that the werewolf propose to her in the fantasy world.

That's all I remember, sorry if is so little but I hope you could help me, I loved that movie when I was a kid and I just were able to watch it when it was on TV, so I never learned the name of the movie.

Thanks for reading my ask and hope you have a great day!

Oooooh, great question! And thanks for the inquiry into my well-being! Doing good, just a little busier than I want to be these days; but I’ll be back shortly, I promise that! In truth, I'm not entirely sure which movie you're referring to, as I may need more details on it. BUT, were I to venture a guess, it sounds a little bit like the 1984 werewolf film The Company of Wolves, a British fantasy film starring Angela Lansbury (R.I.P.), Sarah Patterson, and David Warner, as well as a take on the Red Riding Hood story. There are a couple of things that make me think it could be this movie, like the phrase about "never eating windfall apples", and the fusion of our world and a fantasy world, as well as a romanticized take on the original story.

Buuuuuuuut, on the flip-side, its protagonist is a long-haired brunette, and I can't necessarily think of any witches in the story, so that's a little bit of a conflict. However, if you have any other details (live-action vs. animated, country of origin or present accents in the film, when you remember watching it in terms of time period), that might help! So, if this isn't it, I'll take some more details to try and help you out! If anybody else has any details, feel free to contribute!

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

Mid-January through mid-March is the busiest season of the year down in the Keys, busier than memorial day and mini lobster season and labor day all rolled into one. I work at a motel, and we are pretty much booked solid for that entire two month period, mostly long-term tenants (rich northern tourists who live at the motel for the winter), which to me seems like a ridiculous waste of money but they're noce enough and tip well. It's the short term stays that piss me off, the less-rich northern tourists who slip into the cracks left by the long-termers, one day here, a few days there, moving to a different room every day, hyenas nipping at the scraps. They act like we owe them the world. They didn't get exactly what they wanted, so they expect special treatment to make up for it.

"I stay here every year, can you give me a discount? I know you have the lowest prices on the entire island, but I WANT LOWER!"

"I know you only had a room with one bed, but can you kick someone out and give me one with two instead?"

"You open at 9, but I want a 6AM wakeup call. What do you mean you don't offer wakeup calls? You must be new, because I've been staying here for twenty years and I ALWAYS get wakeup calls! Oh, you've been working here for 3 years and caught me red handed in a lie? Fuck you."

"I'm best friends with the owner. I'm best friends with the mayor. I'm best friends with Captain Jack." There are hundreds of bald, beer-bellied, business-owning boat captains who call themselves Captain Jack, but none of them are affiliated with the motel, so I have no idea why people think mentioning them will get them a deal.

We have 24 rooms and a maximum of 3 maids on any given day, sometimes as few as 2, but EVERYONE expects to be allowed to check in early. The maids can only clean one room at a time! Some are done first, some are done last, that's juat the way things go. I can't make them work faster! The only time we ever tell a maid to do a specific room first is if it's a room move, in which case the tenant needs to be able to hop from one to the other. I once had a lady cancel her reservation because her room was last to be finished up. She kept calling throughout the day and showing up to the office to get a status report, no matter how many times I said I would call her when it was done. She really expected the maids to drop what they were doing and get to hers right then and there; they'll never admit it, but I know for a fact that the maids will ignore customers like that on purpose and do their room last just to fuck with them, and I don't blame them. I condone it wholeheartedly.

February is a weird month because we are exceptionally busy, yet there's almost nothing to do. Every single room is full every single day, so there are lots of room moves and phone calls and packages to be delivered, but then by chance everything will line up on a random Thursday and we'll get a full day of dead silence, nobody checking in, nobody checking out. The phone will ring off the hook no matter what, but 9 times out of 10 it's a straggler asking for a date we don't have, so I can turn them away and pretend to care when they ask "now what am I supposed to do?!?" But that remaining 1 time, they'll be super flexible, I mean annoyingly flexible, they will take any and everything we have no matter how spread out.

"I'm sorry, we're booked up that weekend."

"Okay, what about Monday?"

"We're booked up Monday too."

"Tuesday."

"We're booked up that whole week."

"What about next week? What do you have available from now until April? I'll take it."

I hate that kind of person because they've never had to work a day in their lives. They're in a comforfable, insulated, rich-beyond-your-wildest-dreams fantasy world where they can decide to go on vacation whenever they want, on a whim. Me, if I want to go somewhere I have to plan months in advance, and if the date I'm looking for is booked, then I'm shit out of luck. I can't just drop everything at a moment's notice and decide "I wanna go on vacation sometime in the next month, doesn't matter when." They don't have to worry about their job, they don't need to take a lost paycheck into account, things just work out for them because they can throw infinite money at the problem.

They also expect us to control the weather. Literally. They will call us a week or a month in advance and ask what the weather is supposed to look like when they get there. My dude, major news networks can't even predict what TOMORROW is gonna look like with 100% accuracy, and you want me to tell you if it's gonna rain on St Patrick's Day?!? It's one thing to ask that question during hurricane season when we can tell them a storm has formed in the Atlantic and may be heading our way, but even then the cone changes every single day, so we don't know if there will be a storm watch or storm watning more than a few days in advance.

What do you want from me? I just work here. Your vacation is not a priority to me. You clog our streets and throw your trash into our waters, and you expect me to welcome you with open arms? These people say that they're helping the community by putting money into the economy, but TRICKLE DOWN DOESN'T DO SHIT! You spend money at a big chain store, that money stays in the chain store. You spend thousands of dollars at the motel, it stays in my boss's pockets, I don't see an extra dime; if you tip the maids, good for you, but they don't live here so if anything you're helping whatever neighborhood in Miami they live in. Tourists are killing the Keys! Literally every single business that catered to locals has shut down and become a tourist kitsch shop! We don't have a walmart or a target, so if we need anything we can't get at Publix, we have to go on a day trip to the mainland. We had a Dollar Tree, really useful, but now it's a Sandal Factory, literally a quarter mile up the road from ANOTHER Sandal Factory (the nutsack who owns them says one is for northbound traffic, the other for southbound).

Do you know how many seafood restaurants and boat marts we have down here? They pop up like Spirit Halloweens every time something closes, and then they close too because the market is saturated with an unsustainable number of restaurants and boat marts. They're not like Dunkin or Starbucks where there's enough clientele to sustain one on every street corner in the country, they're all competing for business and sucking the nutrients out of the soil, Tragedy of the Commons. Everyone wants to get in on the lucrative tourist industry, but then everyone fails and the locals suffer because we have to travel 2 hours to buy a new pair of shoes or a microwave. We live in hell! It's like living in fucking Disney World, and I mean that literally, like actually living inside the park itself. Sure, there's food and water and roofs over your head to keep out the rain, but it's still just an amusement park, not a neighborhood, so there's nothing else to do and nowhere else to go! Want to see a movie? Sorry, you have to leave the park. Do you need new plates and cutlery? Sorry, you gotta leave the park. Do you want to do anything that isn't designed to drain money from rich tourists? Sorry, you gotta leave the park. But you live there, so you have to keep coming back every night like you're on a leash.

[thetragicallynerdy]

So I made it back to the gym for the first time in 4 (ish) years today! Hooray! For context, I used to powerlift pretty seriously, but got a bad concussion/brain injury 4-ish years ago and had to stop. While I still have a brain injury, I'm at a point where going back to the gym and trying to start lifting again (very lightly and slowly) feels okay.

I'm going to be doing a sort of journal on here, entirely for my own tracking/benefit, because I'm too lazy to journal things just for myself but will happily yeet it into the world. If you don't want to see this stuff and follow me, block #lifting . There's gonna be some technical stuff in here, feel free to ask questions as well if you want lol.

Some notes after today:

I'm doing stronglifts 5x5 - basically a very simple program of back squats/bench press/barbell rows on day 1, and bench press/deadlifts/overhead press on day 2. 5 sets of 5 reps for each lift, some stretching pre/post, and home.

I got in and out with stretching in just under an hour, which was the goal! I wanted to be able to stay an hour, and I did, which is rad.

Sensory wise the gym is a bit of a nightmare, but wearing a ballcap for light and noise canceling earbuds helped, as did going during the day when it's less busy. It's definitely busier during the day than it was pre-covid, possibly due to ppl working at home and being able to duck out. But I didn't have to wait for a rack/bench at all which was great.

I lifted really light - just the bar for all three lifts (45lbs for the uninitiated). I still came home with a pressure headache, which is definitely from doing actual lifting. It wasn't bad enough to not go, and has subsided to something really managable with rest and food, but something to watch for. I think I need to watch my breathing more too, especially on squats, because it's still instinctual to try and do the valsalva maneuver while doing a lift - which puts a ton of pressure on my head and is very unhelpful. Gotta breathe through the lift! I came home with some neck pain too, which I suspect is from rows.

Squats - definitely the worst on my head. (And by that I mean not 'mental game' but 'headache/brain injury wise'.) I did squats first, and next time I'll save them for last because I am 90% sure that's where most of the pressure headache came from. Moved well, though, much better than air squats at home do which is hilarious. I did low bar, which I think will be necessary for avoiding neck pain.

Bench - felt great. Bench is my weakest lift traditionally, but it was by far the easiest on my head - potentially due to the combo of stability from lying down during, and having a stable place to sit after, as well as less full body movement (which leads to less fatigue, etc). Might have to try sitting on the ground between squats instead of on the rack to see if that helps.

Barbell rows - eh. They were fine. Harder on my neck and lower back. A bit more of a struggle form-wise.

Weight wise - I think it's going to be a bit of a mental game to not push myself to lift more. Physically I can lift a lot more weight than my head can handle, as heavier lifts lead to more pressure on the head. Squats today felt super easy in terms of actually moving the weight, and so did bench. But having a disability means being really careful moving forward and adding weight to my lifts. Which sucks, and is something I'm probably going to be navigating feelings around for a while - I want to be able to do so much more than I can. Complicated grief even while returning to a beloved activity, etc etc.

There's also the aspect of "last time I was here I could lift several hundred pounds, and now I'm back down to the naked bar", which kind of feels shitty (even though I know why, and am super proud I'm back at the gym at all). I'm also aware of an aspect of it that's connected to like, being read as a woman at the gym, and expectations that women lift less. Which is weird, but an aspect of it.

Anyway - all told, it went good, about as well as I'd expected if not as easy as I'd hoped. I'm curious to see how deadlifts etc go when I go back (either later this week, or early next week - the goal is 1-2 times per week). I think that honestly even if it ends up that I can just do bench and some other upper body/seated stuff (there's a lot of machines, even if I prefer free weights), that would be better than the nothing I've been doing. I'm really glad I made it back, even though it feels like it's going to be a long slog to get anywhere close to where I used to be (which might not even happen). Anyway. Yay lifting! Yay being a gym bro again!

[tiikerikani]

Four walls

Because there's only... um... myself and Coworker who (still) have office-based work contracts, the company decided to move us into a smaller rental office space in February. We unpacked and worked there for a couple of weeks, until I got a large task which required me to check audio transcripts. I decided to do this from home so I didn't have to spend all day with headphones on. This took a few weeks, after which I went back in for 2 days before it simply became intolerable to sit in there and I've moved my stuff back home again on a semi-permanent basis.

There's 2 main reasons for this:

1. The room is too small for 2 people.

By "too small for 2 people" I don't necessarily mean like Finnish people personal space requirements.

Consider this exhibit of an actual prison cell at Vankila (the prison museum in Hämeenlinna, appropriately named The Prison). It was occupied by one inmate. 

I lived my freshman year in a bedroom about this size, ok a bit wider but about this deep. More window and less security, though. Literally, because the door to my room was kind of broken so it'd lock, but you could open it with a firm shove.

The office space we have now does not feel much bigger than this. I want to say it's at most 8 sqm (86 sqft) but, as I haven't been in there for a few months, this is an estimate based on comparing my memory of it to the length of my bed (2 m). It's probably 2/5 the size of the old room, which had at most 4 people working in it and felt comfortable with 4 people working in it. (For example, there was enough room to put a small armchair in, though we never managed to make this happen. Or to stretch out on the floor without being underneath your desk.)

The new space is the kind of space you can imagine being rented by a sole trader who might get visits from clients (and it certainly seems that way from the windows I've peeped into), not for 2 full-time workers doing things that don't require collaboration or even interaction with each other. 

It's hard to articulate exactly what not having enough personal space feels like, but this is what not having enough personal space feels like.

2. My workload fluctuates unpredictably between long spells of idleness and shorter spurts of I need this done stat!!.

(Yes I'm being paid for this.)

Thus I have a lot of time that can be much better spent on chores or, really, anything else as long as I'm keeping an ear open for the inbox ping. If I spend that time at the office, anxious and restless (because not enough personal space), it's sand through my fingers.

Being in that room might be more tolerable if this were an alternative timeline where any of my hobbies were super portable, for example, knitting. In this timeline though, my fidgeting/stress outlets include working on my miniatures, piano, and dancing and singing along to #theplaylistismymantra, none of which are feasible in that space. (I have a portable painting kit but only one set of paints, and it's a bit of a walk to the nearest sink to clean things in. Boss is remote so it's not like anybody is policing me.)

My table at home has been reclaimed by my painting and modelling stuff, so my work is on the side and thus the ergonomics suck even more than during lockdown when I was busier and thus work was at the centre of the table.

But I will not be convinced to give up the office desk entirely; sometimes I do want to use an extra screen instead of peering at the laptop. Or even just to get a nice big lunch from the cafeteria. I think Coworker needs the office space more than I do, because he lives with other people and I'd understand wanting a place to work without being disturbed by them.