#i kinda miss my band but i am also SO GLAD TO NOT BE IN THAT BAND ANYMORE but also i miss itt.........

[soosoosoup]

snowzone

[accordionlover]

the problem with making music is That Shit's Embarassing .

[earlgreytea68]

LOOK AWAY IF YOU DON'T WANT SO MUCH FOR (TOUR) DUST SPOILERS, OKAY?

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Set list:

(1) That Pink Seashell spoken word thing actually opens the show

(2) Love from the Other Side: I assumed they'd play this first, and they did, and they looked very happy with the reception that it got

(3) The Phoenix

(4) Sugar, We're Goin Down: I overheard two guys when I was leaving saying, "I only came to this show for that Sugar song, and it was the third song they played," whatever to those two guys lol

(5) Uma Thurman

(6) A Litttle Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More Touch Me

(7) Chicago Is So Two Years Ago: I know they always play this song when they play Chicago but the way the show is set up, there's this spoken intro that references a light being left on in Chicago, and then they launch into this song, and so I feel like maybe it's permanently in the set list for this tour, we'll see.

(8) Grand Theft Autumn: Patrick told the story again of how he wrote the lyrics while jogging with Pete. Here is exactly what he said, because I recorded it, hahaha: "I wrote this song out here, jogging, trying to figure out the words. This was back when I wrote a lot of the words. And Pete was jogging with me and he was like, 'Eh, maybe change this, maybe change this.' Before we knew it he was writing all the lyrics." And then Pete said, "Imagine us jogging" lolololol

(9) Calm Before the Storm

(10) This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race: They added a little Peterick-y moment in here? I don't remember them playing at each other during this song in previous performances? It was cute, it was during the instrumental part before Patrick leads the singalong, maybe I've just always missed it? They played it each other and kind of did some kind of kick thing with their legs??

(11) Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes: Honestly, always a delight to hear this song, this is one of my favorites <3

(12) Heaven, Iowa: THIS SONG LIVE, I SWEAR

(13) "The Take Over, the Breaks Over": OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS SONG AND I TOTALLY DIDN'T EXPECT THEM TO PLAY IT, I WAS SO HAPPY

(14) Headfirst Slide into Cooperstown on a Bad Bet: <3 Guess they got over being scared of playing this one lol

(15) Fake Out: I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW EXCITED I WAS THAT THEY PLAYED THIS ONE OMGGGGGGG. Also, there was some plan I wasn't aware of to, like, hold up cell phones with pink paper over the lights so the crowd lit up pink???? I have no idea who engineered that but it was CHARMING and at the end of the song Pete said, "Thanks for that, guys, that was beautiful," and the stage was on darkness so it seemed absolutely spontaneous on his part and I think they really did like the effect, so, Idk, future shows, keep doing it????

(16) Patrick did some kind of piano interlude where he played "Don't Stop Believin'"????? It was random but he was super charming, I think the rest of the band used it as a break, it was just SO GREAT. Part of his intro was: "Pete was putting together this show and he said to me, 'Hey, you should play piano.' And I was like, 'I kinda only play songs I wrote. I don't really play piano. I don't know how to play piano.' And he's like, 'Eh, you'll figure it out.'" And then Patrick sat down and played gorgeous piano ugh THANKS, PETE.

(17) Last of the Real Ones: I am glad Mania got some love.

(18) Save Rock and Roll

(19) PETE RECITED BABY ANNIHILATION WHAT. I SWEAR TO GOD. I SO DID NOT EXPECT THIS AND I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE THAT IT HAPPENED. If you're going to the show, pay attention, because I looked away and apparently there's, like, a magic trick at the end of the monologue where he disappears behind a piece of black silk?????

(20) Crazy Train cover: I...don't know what to say about this randomness hahaha but it happened??

(21) Dance Dance

(22) Hold Me Like a Grudge: I think Patrick adores singing this song, I really do.

(23) G.I.N.A.S.F.S.: I KNOW. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, EITHER.

(24) My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark (Light Em Up)

(25) Thnks fr th Mmrs

(26) Centuries

(27) Saturday <3

The show ends with a little piano version of So Much (for) Stardust played over the sound system, so pay attention for that.

The set is super Alice in Wonderland-y and I adored it, it's playful and fantastical and has all these whimsical touches and interludes and I just thought it was delightful and at one point there were bubbles, and I heard some people complaining after the concert that the fantasy thing didn't suit their style of music and really, I was surrounded by downers after the concert, I thought they were perfect hahaha. Like, ABSOLUTELY PERFECT. They looked so, so, so tangibly happy, all of them. Patrick sounded fantastic and he looked like he was having a blast, he smiled the whole time.

I have a lot of videos but they seem like they're all pretty terrible, but I'll see how I feel in the morning lol

[ooapple-greaseoo]

Thundering Drums

I don't know how to feel right now. I haven't ever been a big KISS fan because I was born in 2006 and never felt a strong connection with the band. I didn't know any songs besides "I was made for loving you" and I didn't even know any of the band members names. However, now as of March 2024 I learned more about KISS not because of the band but because of a person who was in the band. The first band members name i ever learned was Eric Carr's name. I guess much like other people they felt a connection with him. I felt that when i started watching videos of him goofing off (I wasn't even listening to any of the music he made/helped make. I was purely just watching for who he was as a person). I don't feel that type of connection with any other band members like you won't be seeing me actively reading a Gene Simmons biography because I want too. Eric Carr just seemed so human. He was such a good guy and I may not have met him but hearing stories about him...I kinda miss the guy you know? How could I miss someone I never had the chance to meet? Even as I'm sitting here crying while writing this every so often glancing at the picture of Eric Carr on the face of my own copy of "The Eric Carr Story" I feel like I need to make this post. I wrote this type of post before I read the book but it sadly got deleted. However, after reading the book in basically one day I feel compelled to rewrite it to get my own emotions and feelings out. One thing I wrote in the previous post that stood out was that I said I felt empty. I get like that sometimes when I get so vested into a person its like I lose a part of myself. So I was feeling very hollow before I read the book. But now after reading the book I feel like I gave that part of myself to Eric Carr and he sorta handed me back this piece of hope and confidence to keep going with my life to strive for better things. I think for me at least Eric Carr is the best drummer in the world not just for his skill but also for who he was as a person. He is definitely one of my role models now to strive to be remembered as someone who did something. I don't cry a lot it's not who I am but when i read the book and write this post I'm crying. It really shows how in such little of a time that I've learned of Eric Carr how much he grew on me and influenced me. I'm very glad I had the chance to learn about him through the people who loved him like his family, Carrie Stevens, and the many people who befriended him. I hope no one forgets who he was and what he's done for everyone.

Keep Rock n Rollin, Izzy

Shout out to @spacefoxy and many other fans for posting so much amazing Eric Carr content. I think it helps a lot of people in many different ways.

P.S I won't speak on my own feelings of KISS the band and who they are now and what they did while Eric Carr was sick and dying. But I hope their happy because I think at the end of the day Eric would have wanted them to be happy too.

"But this too is true: stories can save us."- Tim O'brien (The Things They Carried)

[berlinini]

some Thoughts about the 02 show (while the days of ltwt show recaps the length of essays are gone, I thought I'd share some stuff)(this of course got kinda long anyways, I am nothing but predictable!)

first of all it's so interesting to go online after a show and "consume" the show through different perspectives... I was in the pit close to the sound booth and could see a tiny Louis like tunnel vision (and not even always - I had to look at the screens a lot more than any previous shows). I had never been to such a big venue and it felt like the arenas I'd be previously - it's so hard to gage. Anyways when I saw Louis' IG post I realized how far I was and seeing pictures and videos of the venue - I truly hadn't realized the sheer number of people. Also the lights project from our POV seemed to have bombed but seeing the videos, it did create the intended effect. Also I was so far that I had to ask the gc for the color of the pants (#purple #slay) and only in the encore, when there was a camera on Louis' entire body, did I notice the shoes (unfortunately my eyes deceived me into thinking they were Nike). I missed all the little quirky faces and interactions that I now see in gifs. HOWEVER I did not miss the several times Louis teared up including during Chicago and during his speeches and I tell you my heart was bursting. I love that he talked a bit more than usual - I think he said something like "I can't put into words... well let me try" and he said everything so perfectly! The reference to his dreams and the "we" - I just listened to him and thought how much I love him. His special thanks to his band was super sweet.

setlist: HOTH safe! If I hadn't known DMD was back on the setlist I wouldn't have recognized it. No 7 :( I tolerate Angels Fly but tbh I don't understand how it's there and not like Headline or Always You or FEARLESS. High in Cali was hilarious because you could tell weed isn't legal in the UK lmao - the vibe was so different than back home. 505 still so good and now I can sing every single lyrics but in a very oh poor me, the show ruined my 5 x 505 streak this year since it's now 6. But 505 Laval you'll always be #1 in my Heart <3. We Made It is still the It Girl and Silver Tongues... I doubt a closer will ever come this close (hehe) to how fucking epic it is. Tbh I could hardly tell when the string section was playing but I'm glad I had a show with strings! Me still in LTWT mode wondering why the pyro didn't go off during Walls only to be told there hasn't been any for this tour ouuuups. The Megamix SLAYS so hard and the special effects were SO cool! I did miss the classic rainbow lights for SIBWAWC cuz the lasers didn't reflect on the crowd as nicely but the clouds and at the beginning of ATT were beautiful.

Talking about lasers I was eyeing this guy in the soundbooth that I'd never see before and was clowning about him being there for the LIVE ALBUM RECORDING. I even took notes to figure out later where he works (spare a thought for tumblr user bbrox who has to put up with my insanity). ONLY to figure out 1 hour later that the guy was the special lasers guy as made so obvious by the fact he packed up his stuff after Saturdays in a box that said "laser fx triangle C" lololol. Sometimes I think it's good to clown for nothing - be humbled!

I saw most of the crew in the soundbooth - the person I was with was trying to spot the Tomlinsons while I was looking for Oli and K and was mentally putting a check on names for the sound and lights guys - priorities! (Blaming Red Rocks for having us go down the rabbit hole of every single member of the crew)

Oh yeah the KMM lights! It was kinda spontaneous? He had a little shy smile like he was telling himself 'look at this lot' and it was soooo adorable. I'm glad I got to be a part of it <3 Which pretty much summarizes this whole show - witnessing a moment in history.

Finally - TANK TOP LOUIS WITH MY OWN 2 EYES!!!!!! And what a tank top!!! #blessed #cantspellslutwithoutlt

Everyone's been saying being a louie is for life and that just keep getting stronger and stronger everytime I get to see him perform! Can't wait for future shows!!!

[artistnamedlg]

GARAGES SONGS ASSIGNED TO FANTASY HIGH CHARACTERS (AND SOME OTHER STUFF)

For context, the garages were a band who wrote songs based off a game called blaseball, mainly rock but not confined directly too it. I am assigning some of their songs to fantasy high characters for the very small subset of people who are interested a.k.a mainly me. Most of these are based off season 1 but there is influence from the others. 👍

FIG

-Pyschoacoustics: Very loud but also kinda team based! (The bigger the garage/ the better the sound/ we’re just so glad you came around)

- Vanessa tables, the cheesiest love song ever. I can totally imagine fig singing this.

- ALBUMS: either Underground (its heavy metal) or Short circuit (psychoacoustics esque, it’s so loud!!!)

- CHARACTERS THEY WOULD LOVE? Probably Betsy Trombone or Allison Abbot. Or Jaylen HotdogFingers. Big Garages Fan probably.

ADAINE

- so mediocre, it’s about not being good enough and being told your not good enough. Yeouch.

-Sidelined, same album same reason but this one ends happier cause people do believe in them :)

- the entire Kansas City breath mints team failed the bar exam,

- won’t strike out, it’s about a frog kicking ass. For everyone who doesn’t know blaseball google chorby short right now.

- ALBUMS: either unstable (the first two songs are from it) or, while not a album, The Mike Townsend Trilogy because she would one hundred percent understand the looked down on for not being good enough vibe.

- CHARACTERS THEYD LOVE? Mike Townsend, Chorby Short, maybe Sebastion Telephone cause underperforming sibling vibes. I can see her being a big Hawaii Fridays fan or more accurately Yellowstone Magics

KRISTEN

- And I mean all gods, the first line is “I need to email god because I have some issues”. Kristen would say that, 100%.

- solar eclipse, this one’s a little bit of everyone but it feels especially Kristen because of the direct callouts to god in it. She’d very much understand this one I think.

- ALBUMS weirdly enough, no clue. She would probably like the garages kill gods cause of the title and maybe pathetic/spineless cause repressed rage.

CHARACTERS THEYD LOVE? Most of the like goofy ones I think. She’d see pitching machine (a player who is an actual honest to god pitching machine) and start cheering. She would actually maybe enjoy the monitor who is a god but is also a pushover and eventually anticapitalist. Shed like Randall Marijuana if only cause he’s called “Randy weed” She’d also be a big Fridays person but I can see her being a Hellmouth Fan.

RIZ

- operation plasma (swing and a miss) it’s a song by the spies about how they want a spy to bring them stuff, riz core.

- beautiful day, I don’t know why I can very much see riz in this, half of it cause shit canonically hits the fan even harder after beautiful day.

- the unremarkable ballad of Derrick Krueger, I can’t explain this one but I think it does have slight riz vibes of like overlooked underdog at the beginning of season 1

- Albums, be my valentine cause some of the songs are very sweet and a decent amount are not even romantic in like partner partner way or percolate or lofi hip-hop brews to kill siesta/kill gods to.

- Players he’d love? Parker McMillan, he’d love the insane complexity of trying to piece them together and like interrogating their socials. He’d be a big Houston Spies fan as well, no surprise, but he’d also be a data witch or something similar on the side, just digging round in the code.

EDIT: he would also love one of my fav players, Evelton mcblase 2, a trans mad scientist who is evil and also occasionally a eel.

GORGUG

- heart full of love mouth full of blood, it’s a little romantic but also about killing to protect your friends

- Mike Townsend is back, I can see him vibing to this, especially with the goofy “I learned how to solo!!!” Part

- hurt people, it’s about desperately not wanting to hurt those around you but being unable to.

- Albums I don’t know! Maybe encore cause some of those are very hard hitting and he’d like that I think but also maybe lofi as well cause chill out vibes. Potentially Immaterial Shores which is a bunch of like sea shanty’s.

-Characters they’d like? Jaylen hotdogfingers as well, he’d understand the tradgedy. Also Theodore Duende. Definitely Nagomi McDaniel because she’s a buff as hell mother , maybe the dad versions of Lenny Marijuana. Generally the strong ones who have hearts of gold. He’d be a Dallas steaks fan (their joke is that they’re all dads or dad adjacent, they do cookouts)

FABIEN

- Top ten Tillman Henderson moments that actually happened, dude I cannot describe it but he would love Tillman, shitheel player who does the silliest shenanigans.

- Rise, I can’t really explain it but the extreme confidence mixed with the knowledge that Jaylen actually deeply regrets her revival and fame feels very Fabian.

- Betsy trombone (+ r - s version) I can’t explain it but specifically this version has Fabian feels.

- Albums. Uhhh maybe just straight up discipline, it’s super long but he’d like it I feel. Something shorter would be Caught in the Reverb I don’t know why but I think he’d like it a bit.

-Favorite Characters? Tillman Henderson, he’d love how much of a shitheel he is. I can see him also liking Nagomi McDaniel and Jessica Telephone. I can also seeing him being part of the Jaylen resurrection efforts and just supporting her girlbossing murder spree. He’d actually care if they’re good at the game, similarly he’d be a crabs fan since they’re pretty consistently good, if not the crabs then the hades tigers cause they’re sick as hell. I can also see him really really enjoying York silk because it’s a 12 year old with a gunblade who’s unironically super strong.

BAD KIDS IN GENERAL

- Well suck forever

- A horrible Mistake we will make again and again

Gilear (special edition!!)

-on fatherhood, im adding this just cause it reminds me of him. If you didn’t know people died in blaseball! That was a key thing! While figs alive this does give that vibe with how much she gets into.

[bengiyo]

Our Syy 2 x My School President

We are thankfully back with My School President this week, and can ignore all future conversations about last week’s episodes. We have folks switching roles this week, and I am absolutely here for it. Excited to see how they do this without using lots of extras. I have missed my boys.

Since we know that Golf and Au are probably friends, I’m excited to see Au in his 609 Bedtime Story era as we enter the Multiverse of Cuteness.

I’m kinda glad the characters have at least kept their names even if their roles in the story have swapped. This will make conversation easier.

Oh my it looks like we have some swaps in the band too! Sound and Win have switched. Yo and Pat have switched. Por and Tiwson have switched.

Principal!Lookwa!!! I am so here for this.

Fourth has absolutely lethal eye game.

@telomeke added context for the 250 parents and faculty selection of the school president. I like the way the show is using this as a plot contrivance to move the story along while also getting in some political commentary.

I love that his name is Winnie the Pooh.

The band is now Lion, and they roar at each other. Their jackets have tails. I am complete.

Satang always looks partially booted up. I want to see him fight.

They eat hot pot instead of BBQ pork!

Okay, I liked the new song! I’m so glad Gemini gets to sing this time!

I continue to love Photjanee. “I’m not kind as those moms in the series.” I love her. It’s interesting how her character remains in line with authority, but is not in a place to wield it this time.

Loving the meta-commentary about how the story should be going.

Ford’s English pronunciation is actually really good.

We’re doing the daydreaming bit at the kitchen table!!

We need to talk about that lip bite.

I was hoping Gun would message them as Chinzhilla. Au knows what the people want…. NAY… WHAT WE NEED.

Fourth and Ford are an underrated duo.

Putting on his helmet, my beloved. All of the motorbike and scooter tropes work on me every time.

Yes, good. Let’s reverse the Tiwson and Por “I want to eat you” moment as well. I’m going to need Ford in a bigger role, because this boy is serving FACE.

I’m enjoying how different some of the earlier scenes are playing out with the characters switched. Everyone still feels like their original character in different circumstances.

Even the ballroom dancing scenes are different! It feels right, though, because Gun always felt less assured than Tinn. Staring at each other as they dance with others feels like something these two would do from this angle.

Not Tiwsom walking in with the tux to dance with Por!

Nooo, the Let Me Tell You instrumental is going! I don’t want to cry at work!

The Sound and Win reversal is also a lot of fun.

I am obsessed with the chinzhilla headband.

I feel like Tinn is more aware of Gun’s crush than Gun was of Tinn’s.

TiwsonPor is real!!

This was so much fun! I like how they’re reframing key moments with the characters in different positions. I like that everything doesn’t happen exactly the same way. It shows a real understanding of the charactes

[sobeksewerrat]

HYPERANALYZING/ SCREAMING ABOUT EP.3 COZ IT IS MY FAVOURITE AND I AM REWATCHING IT LET'S GOOOO

Disclaimer: this post is literally just me talking about how much I kin Milly and technically a combined liveblog

Oh look it's one of Taylor's bullies from BWBL!!

Also, what the music freak is this shitty pop song playing in the back ground man I'm-

Why is the school nurse running around like that-

Gotta love how everyone just rushes over to see Milly fight, and that Jake knows exactly who they're talking about (even though they've been friends for like 2 weeks). Really shows how much of a negative-ish reputation Milly has (relatable man)

Fuck Miss Jones man she sucks she can't even break off a fight who hired this bitch.

I really like the fight scene, Luke's animation is kinda wonky but I really miss seeing Kurie's animation!! I really miss the old GL episodes, they were just so much more well-written, and the amount of editing done by Rosy in them is really underrated like they seriously look so good considering how limited GL was.

God, seeing Milly fight for something Zoey stole is really fucking relatable. Like, my bullies always steal my books, my sketchbooks, my pencil case..etc. and I always get in trouble when I try to wrestle them for it. Like, I get yelled at and keep getting told "You're a girl you shouldn't be fighting with anybody!" and all they get for pushing me over the edge is a slap on the wrist, schools are really unfair (and then adults wonder why we don't talk to them about shit).

Dear Rosy Jake is so pathetic he literally gets thrown away by just a punch I'm-

Fuck you Luke

Zoey calling Milly an animal is um, weird, to say the least.

Um, side note, I really forgot how weird Henriam were in the first few episodes- like you could see the basis of their characters as we know them now being established but it's still so weird seeing them like this (also Henry is almost Liam's height in GL which makes me want to die)

Imma just skip over the Miss Jones scene I practically said everything I have to say but before that Drew was too much of a dick in this episode in an unlikeable way like THANK GOD he's barely in this one and seeing Lia flirting with Jake feels very wrong for some reason. Still love her GL outfit though <33

Wow Hailey I am so glad to know you care more about the competition than Milly <444/sarcasm

FUCKING HYPOCRITE- (jk I love GL era Hailey <44)

Seeing the club pressuring Milly to talk speaks to me on a weirdly personal level. Everyone wants me to talk about my feelings, but have you ever considered that I don't want to talk about them? That I am still not comfortable enough to let you in? To let you see that I am vulnerable? To actually confront the fact that I am not okay? I know the music club and the ppl ik irl genuinely mean well, but sometimes people aren't willing to talk, and you should respect that. Sometimes, just being there to keep us company and not judge us is enough, yk?

Side note: can really relate to Milly's reflex of hitting people when they get too close, I literally have to stop myself from punching my own mother whenever she grabs my arm or something I fucking hate being touched and I like the nice detail of Zander smiling when he found out who punched Jake.

Honestly, fuck Zander man. I joked about Hailey not caring about Milly's feelings, about Zander straight up doesn't care.

He is a straight up reminder of my one of my bullies and all the adults in my life. Fuck you Zander.

"Does the band mean nothing to you?"

DO MILLY'S FEELINGS MEAN NOTHING TO YOU ZANDER?!?

[Cries in this is super relatable]

"Great...she's on a rampage again"

Um...so, the girl being on the verge of a breakdown and being understandably angry at her bullies and her friends being extremely inconsiderate is considered being on a rampage? Damn, Sean, why do people even like you man.

So...you WANT to have control over her?? Idk man I am really mad at zander rn

"We can deal with whatever's bothering you, together!"

"Milly, I'm worried about you."

I already elaborated on this point but I just want to talk about how much I love Hailey in the first 4 episodes she was literally an awesome queen what happened to her 😭

God I love Redemption so fucking much it is literally the best song and musical scene in TMF /gen

Love the foreshadowing to Lia's redemption in the scene where they're bullying Milly btw, Rosy is awesome when it comes to subtlety (that is how you spell it right-?)

"🎵But you keep trying to get too close🎵"

Literally on the verge of tears this song (and whole episode tbh) hits way too close to home/gen (i feel like I have to keep clarifying how genuine I bcuz I don't think people realize how emotional this gacha series can make me)

"🎵Saved myself by turning into stone🎵"

[In tears] I swear people really underestimate how fucked up someone's psyche can be when they're all cheery and hyper. Media has made us believe that people who bottle up emotions are all cold and depressed but really the most cheerful people you knew tend to be the most depressed. The only other major examples from my fandoms that fit this category that I can think of are KEL from Omori and Kokichi form Dangan, but I feel like KEL fits this statement more that Ouma tbh

"🎵So save your judgement 'cause you just don't know🎵"

REAL. AND THE CAMERA PANNING TO ZANDER WAS JUST *chef's kiss* I SWEAR ROSY IS REALLY GOOD AT SHOWING EMOTION.

"🎵And they keep coming like moth to flame🎵"

People want a reaction. Adults keep telling you to just ignore the bullies and they'll go away, but they never will because they KNOW they're getting under your skin and they'll continue teasing you till you snap and they'll only stop when it's already too fucking late.

"🎵Redemption never came🎵"

This. This line is perfect and it is the perfect ending to the song. People are so quick to judge and tell you you need to change but they never stop to get to know the real you, they never stop to actually help you change, and you'll always be the villain in the end.

"Milly seems really important to these guys"

YA THINK?!?!

"I'm missing chunks of my hair because of her!"

Zoey please marry me 💖

"They must be talking about Milly..."

Yeah, no shit, Sherlock

"I can't believe she has a crush on that nerd!"

Me neither, Zoey, Milly is wayyyy above his league.

"You...blackmailed your friend for me?"

Also, being bullied for a crush is soo real. Like, I am aroace so I wasn't bullied for HAVING a crush, I was bullied for being a "pick me" because I just so happened to be close friends with a guy and they were all accusing us of dating (this is like a big deal here since dating is very frowned upon, especially for AFABs; so they KNEW they were gonna tank my reputation and ruin my life basically. I can't tell you the amount of teachers who would look at me weird when I talked to my guy friends)- anyways this barely has anything to do with Milly or tmf but this is my blog I do whatever

[EDIT: A WHOLE CHUNK OF THE RANT WAS DELETED?? I AM REWRITING IT NOW]

"Y'know, what? I think I might go see what Drew's up to, I've yet to tell him about how I saw you with your sugar daddy last weekend"

This was the moment I started hating Jake. I didn't like him before, but I started loathing him at that moment.

I have been cheated on before, and if my friends knew and didn't tell me I would have killed them.

"But drew wouldn't have believed him!" Well, he believed him in ep 10, didn't he? And Henriam would have been there to back him up anyways.

Another question I have regarding this is how on earth did he blackmail her?! Liek he didn't have a photo or anything.

AND WHY ISNT HE CONCERNED ABOUT ZOEY GOIGN OUT WITH AN ADULT!??!

"Aw, you two looked very cozy together"

His tone reminds me of my abuser and I don't like. It has nothing to do with the essay, but I wanted to point it out. It really got under my skin.

"Just...please don't tell Drew about what you saw"

Is ti just me or does she seem genuinely sad?? Like her conscience is tormenting her?? Idk man maybe I am just reading into this way too much but- [pulls out ancient tmf theories about Zoey being forced into this by sb and actually being in love with Drew]

"I can't believe those girls, snooping into people's diaries like that"

And you can believe Jake blackmailing Zoey?? I get you're still salty about Lia but cmon Hailey give the man some consequences

[INSERT DEAN SCENE HERE]

MR.BROOOOOOOOOOOM

GOD HER TONE IS JUST- LIKE, SHE'S UNCERTAIN ABOUT JAKE'S METHOD [PROBABLY] BUT SHE CANT BELIEVE SOMEBODY CARES ABOUT HER THAT MUCH OH MY- SOMEBODY GIVE HER A HUG PLEASE SHE NEEDS IT

I SWEAR IF I SEE SOMEBODY ELSE CALL HER CARDBOARD LIEK THE ANON DID I WILL KILL YHEM

"Um...well, when you put it like that-"

Jesus Christ this man doesn't even realize what he did.

That final interaction with Milly and Jake where they reflect on the whole thing is just- beautiful, awesome, fantastic. It's really sweet and I love seeing Milly finally being comfortable enough to talk about her feelings (even if she isn't being too specific or conveying all of her feelings)

Why does Elliot look like that.

Milly why do you like this guy.

Anyways, I love the sound effects Rosy used to add whenever people would blush, I miss it (iirc it isn't in any of the new ep)

GOD I MISSED HE INTRO/OUTRO SONG SO MUCH NOSTALGIA-

Anyways, I love this episode, this is peak TMF and it makes me angry to see how Milly was reduced to comic relief in the end.

I would write a proper conclusion but I am too fucking lazy

Bye freaks

[faegoddessog]

 Seventy Two Hours of Bliss Ch. 38/41

Chapter 38: Letters from the Ice

Chapter Warnings: Explicitly mature content, 18+ only, talk about masturbation, separation angst,

Series Masterlist 

Series Summary:

You are neighbors with Austin Butler on the Gold Coast of Australia just prior to shooting Elvis. You become just friends because he is taken. However, after he is single again, you both find out just how attracted you are to one another and things get unrelentingly hot.

SERIES WARNING: Explicitly mature content, 18+ only,  here there be lemons.

Authors Notes: I started writing this while remodeling my kitchen, so that informed the slightly quirky narrative. It starts slow, but once it heats up, it is on fire. I have tried to pull facts from RL as much as I could, but obviously there are some assumptions and flat out dreamy wishes  involved here. 

Chapter 38: Letters from the Ice

8.25.2020

Hey babe! 

So, yay email! Hopefully this will work for us. :) But the internet is SO SLOW. Even with barely anyone here it took 10 min for my email to load. I am told by the winterers that trying to upload a video is all but impossible. But a picture *can* go through. Thank the local deity that we don’t have to super old school it and use carrier penguins! Yay! Well we finally made it to McMurdo. I can’t believe it’s been a whole month since I’ve seen you, well except for the phone calls in Christchurch. It feels like the band aid is really ripped off now. I’m just trying to breathe through it. I hope you are staying busy or at least distracted. I am excited to finally be here after 5 days of delayed flights as is the rest of my group. We’ve taken to calling ourselves a flock. I have no idea why. So I’ve got a room all to myself right now, but we’ll see how many people show up for the mainbody season in October, I may or may not have a roommate. So, there I was trying to get settled and I opened my big suitcase and found the books and the dark chocolate and the candles and the little bottle of essential oil blend. Fuck it smells like you. It made me cry and smile at the same time. Thank you baby. This is a classic pic me in front of the station sign. It looks darker than it was, but we only had 4 hours of sunlight and there was a storm coming. Wow, I thought I'd been through blizzards at home. This was nothing compared to what they got here! I’d send you a photo. But it’s literally just white.

I do have a confession to make. You remember that freakin’ hot phone sex we had during my quarantine? Yeah… um.. I recorded the audio, yup, every time. I’m gonna listen to your amazing voice telling me to touch myself. I think I’ll lube up my butt plug you gave me and push it into my ass imagining it’s you. Fuck I miss you. I miss your body next to mine at night and your cock in me in the morning. I love you Aus, I miss you. All the kisses for you. ~Your Kitten

8/26/20

Kitten!!!  I’m so stoked that we still get to keep in touch. Even if only over email. That pic of you in front of the sign feels surreal. I can't even tell it's you with all the layers! The landscape looks so desolate. I’m so glad you found my gifts, that’s just stuff I don’t like to live without, kinda like you. I’m not liking living without you. Although I’m STILL finding post-it notes. You little fiend, putting them in all my clothes. Makes me smile and cry too. I did get some exciting news though. Baz, as you know, has been checking up on me since you left. I really love him, he is such a marvelous soul. Anyway he told me yesterday that we will start rehearsals next week and filming is slated to start up again in mid to late September. Thank God, I gotta have something to focus on other than this empty apartment. I’m just waiting for the rest of the crew to get back in country, then I’ll be too busy to think. Also, I’m gonna talk to your Uncle Roy this week and make sure I can still stay here. Baz says the studio will give me a stipend for the apartment and I’ll just pass that along to him. That reminds me, Kate said she had not seen anything related to us from Marissa’s channel and that she would be willing to have a meeting with her, but she won’t make any guarantees. I have a confession too, I went and developed those couple rolls of film we'd taken. It was so fucking sad that you weren’t there to play with while I waited for them to dry. Anyway, You know how I wasn’t sleeping in our bedroom yet? Well, I put the photos I took of you up all over our bedroom and it finally let me sleep in there alone, although I might’ve cried myself to sleep just a little. When I woke up hard I had those gorgeous pictures of you in that black dress to jerk off to. Fuck you are hot and fuck I miss you so much. Oh my god, just reading that you are fucking your ass with my butt plug has me hard, you are such a naughty Kitten. I might have to keep track of how naughty you are and punish you accordingly when I see you next. I wish you were here to suck this hard cock right now. I think when I finish I’ll stroke myself while looking at those closeups of you and imagine your luscious lips wrapped around me. I’d send you a pic of it, but I’m terrified it could get out somehow. I love you more, I miss you terribly, only 187 more days to go.. Roughly. ~Your Aus

9.20.20

Hello my love,  So how’s things? Are you ready? I’m so excited for you to start filming again. You got this babe! I believe in you! (forehead kisses) There were satellite issues again when I tried to call you last night. I’m so sad we keep getting hosed on our phone calls. Soon you’ll be too busy to take a call from me! We are pretty solidly in the groove of our workday, that’s 6 days a week. I’m on the day shift right now and it’s been a bunch of maintenance checks and rebuilds on buildings and answering calls for service. There is a big build that got delayed due to covid, but we will be starting on that pretty soon. The food is surprisingly good. The galley really loves their themes. Taco Tuesday, Asian Nights, Sunday Brunch. The pizza is pretty good too! It’s not a woodfired oven made by the hands of angels good, but when you want pizza, it’ll do. Made a good group of friends, though we are all weird misfits here it seems. Do you remember when people had to talk to each other instead of stare at their phones? It’s like that here, since there isn’t wifi, not that it would work right. It’s amazing how old school it feels, it’s kind of wonderful. Probably sounds like torture to you my shy, introverted darling.

Most of the people here are guys. It’s like 70/30. I’m the only woman in my department, not like that’s new to me. The first day I showed up for work the foreman asked if I was in the wrong place. They tried to give me shit at first until I out-hammered them all in a nailing race. Just a dumb little competition thing. But it stopped them from fucking with me. Yeah, I know my stuff assholes! Lol! Now we are all good. Except for Joe, I do not like Joe. He just rubs me wrong and won’t let the girl thing go. We may have to have a little come-to-Jesus meeting during which I emasculate him with the claw on my purple hammer! The other women I’ve met have also been surprised by the overall disappointing behavior from some of these guys. There is a saying on the ice- “Antarctica: Full of badass women and mediocre men.” This is true. Not all the guys are that way though, some of them are nice and those are the ones that get laid. Yeah, there are a lot of hookups happening and there are free condoms, like, everywhere. No one here is as interesting or as sexy as my man though. Plus, you spoiled me with not having to use condoms. I miss your skin on mine, I miss your lips on mine, I miss your cock in my mouth. Since I don’t have a roommate yet, I think I’ll light your candle, put on the sexy music playlist we used to fuck to and add some of that EO to my wrists. I’m going to suck on my dildo. I’ll start slow just licking the tip, I’ll imagine your hand in my hair and your sky blue eyes watching every flick of my tongue. I’ll make sure my lips are good and wet before I slide it down my throat. And I’ll be fucking myself with my vibrator, the one that's curved. The only thoughts I'll have in my mind are ‘it’s your cock in my mouth, it’s your hand on my pussy, it’s you, it’s you, it’s you’. I’m gonna cum so hard, moaning around your imagined cock in my mouth, I may have to do it twice. God I miss you. Tell me more about how you jerk off to pictures of me, that is so damn hot. I’m just imagining you stroking yourself, playing with the tip a little. Damn. ~Your Slutty Kitty

 9/22/20

My bad, bad Kitty, I do not know how you do it, but are you aware of how fucking sexy you are? Even just via email you get me so riled up. How do you take the mere 26 letters of the alphabet and make them into these sexy fucking pictures in my head?! I miss my cock in your mouth too, I miss you laying out on the bed with your legs wide and my head buried between them. I don’t have anything to lick and pretend is your pussy, but I promise I will make up for it when I see you next. Oh lord I gotta go take care of this massively hard co

9/22/20

Hey love,  Sorry, I hit send without meaning to! You got me so hot I wasn’t thinking clearly. It didn’t take me long baby, I used that coconut oil from just before you left. The scent totally put me right back there with you on your knees devouring my cock. That reminds me, I need to get that dress dry-cleaned… It’s stopped smelling like you now so… I suppose it’s time. I’m ready- ish, the last 6 months made me feel like all the Elvis sunk into my bones. I’ve been working like a fiend with Baz and Polly and Irene and Erik. They have all commented on how it’s different now, more natural. My day is so full of Elvis again it’s hard to think about anything else. I’m so nervous all over again. I’m waking up at 3 again. I miss you. Not just for the sex baby, but you. You make me better. Please keep trying to call, my PA on set will have my phone when I don’t. I put one of your pics up in my trailer, btw, one of the clothed ones. I kiss my fingers and touch it every time I leave and say hello to it when I come in. People that see me do it still don't know who you are, (Baz and Tom are good secret keepers). That last article with the pics of you and I at the airport really threw them all off. I think Kate told me that the paps were searching the passenger lists for all outgoing planes to Europe that day to see if they could figure out who you were. It's fun to keep them guessing. I totally get the hooking up, happens on set too. People are people. I’m not worried about you Kitten. How’s your demon though… she doin’ ok? Getting out of hand at all… pun intended! Ok, early call in the morning. I love you so much. 160 days +/- ~ton Roi

10.11.20

My darling man,  FUCK I am still riding the high from talking to you last week! I can’t believe I caught you in your trailer too! I’m sorry I couldn’t play sexy games back with you because the phone was too public on my end. I loved you telling me how you were stroking yourself though and how you came on your stomach. I went right back to my room, to rub one out. Damn. Luckily my new roommate was at work. She asked me when she moved in why I had a pic of you and me on the wall by my desk. I told her I was in love with you. It was so funny, she sat down on the couch and started talking about you like we were in middle school. ‘ He’s so dreamy and I hear he broke up with his girlfriend and is dating a French woman!’ “was that the only time you met him?” Oh my god, it was all I could do to not laugh in her face. I’m sorry baby, I had to tell her. I hope you aren’t mad! I still don’t think she believes me, even after I showed her pictures of us (appropriately clothed of course). I appreciate you asking after that sexy bitch in my head. She is doing fine, staying on her lead. None of these people would satisfy her anyway. She’s too far gone for you. :) My daily horniness level has chilled out since I’ve not been getting fucked by you on the regular, though there are times! Oh and fun news! I’m going to be setting up a few field camps in a couple weeks, so I won’t be in touch much after halloween -ish. But I WILL be out on the literal ice. Think warm thoughts for me! At least I will get away from Joe! He is still a dick.

~your naughty Kitten (for different reasons)

10/12/20

Kitten,  Of course I’m not mad! Once you are back I want the whole world to know that you are mine and I am yours. Also, Kate set up a meeting with your cousin Marissa. I talked to her and got her info when I talked to Uncle Roy. (He still refuses to let me pay him.) Kate was impressed by her and is planning on offering her a paid internship. Love you baby, go conquer that ice! ~Aus

(Please read the following letter with a deep southern accent of yore) Twenty fifth day of October in the year of our Lord two thousand twenty My darling Austin, I pray that this electronic mail finds you healthy and hale. I have been feeling dashed about by the trials and travails of my good work here on the deep continent. We no longer are a sleepy little hamlet of a mere 200 people. Oh no! A veritable influx of learned people hath arrived, swelling our little cold town to over 800! The light has arisen indeed as we currently receive a joyful 15 hours of sunlight each blessed day. My dear roommate Tabitha seems to have accepted the love that exists between us, my dear Austin, since she overheard our delightful conversation on the telephone a scant few days ago. Indeed it seems she has spread our information to the other members of the kitchen staff as one of the good ladies asked me about it the other day as I procured my nourishment. The person in question didn’t know you, but was happy to know I was dating someone, since apparently the rumor had been circulating that I was a person uninterested, sexually that is. The very idea! My darling Austin, I shall be leaving in two days time for my quest on the ice. It will be my pleasure to erect structures providing temporary shelter from which the good men and women of science may illicit new and exciting information about this oft times perplexing world that humanity calls home. And before you query, yes, I must confess my dear Mr. Butler, I have been imbibing in the devil's drink and yes my loins still burn for you. Pray for me, dear man, that I may endure such hardships that may come and be delivered forthwith into your awaiting arms. With all my love and tenderness. Miss Kitten P.S. Sorry about drunk-as-fuck girl up there, she is just being silly. Can’t wait to fuck your brains out again! Love you -She Demon

10/26/20

Kitten,  You are so weird. I fucking love it and you. I’m so glad you are mine. Filming is so far so good. I barely have time to think, which is perfect. Also, I was eating a mango in the kitchen last night. You know how you cut the side off and score it then turn it inside out? Well, I decided just to eat it off the rind like that, instead of cut the chunks out. And all of a sudden it was like eating your dripping pussy. I am slightly ashamed to say that I dropped my pants right there and jerked off with the coconut oil. The juice was dripping down my chin and chest and onto my cock. Oh, My. God. It was the best one yet. I’ll have to do it for you (to you?) when you get back. Needless to say, a whole new world has opened up to me. I WILL be buying more mangoes. I may not be able to see one without getting aroused from here on out. I think I’ll go have the other half now…

Good luck doing bang! bang! construction things on the ice! Stay safe and warm. I’ll talk to you when you get back. Forever yours- Austin

10.27.20

Aus-  Oh, Mangoes… Damn. Now I fucking want mangoes. Freshies are like currency down here, I haven’t seen a mango though. Just so you know, that last letter was a bet between me and Tabs. We did karaoke that night and I got a little sloshed and started talking in accents. She didn’t think I would do it. Lol! I tried calling you a few min ago, but no answer. I’m leaving in an hour. I’ll email and try to call when I’m back! Oh and come to find out that Joe thought he was flirting with me the whole time, he likes me. Was about to pull my pigtails, I suspect. Boys are so weird. I confronted him and he confessed he was crushing on me pretty hard. I told him about you ( not by name) and that I wasn’t available (plus I would fucking break him). He seems to have backed off and will hopefully treat me like a person. So yay! Growth! Love you tons, Tally ho! Kitten

10/28/20

Darling,  It breaks my heart that I missed hearing your voice. I really needed it too. We filmed some gut wrenching stuff this week and I just needed you. I love you, I love you, I love you. Austin 124 +/-

 11.22.20

Sweet, sweet man, I love you too! I’m sorry you had a tough week and I wasn’t there for you. I promise after this, I will never be more than a text away from you again. I hope it’s gotten better! I’m going to try calling tonight when I get off work. Thank god I’m back though! We had a crazy, crazy time. We got caught in a freak storm at Amundsen-Scott. We were supposed to be there for like a day to get supplies and such. We ended up there for 5 days! But after that things cleared up, it was amazing. We set up 5 different camps. Everything from simple temporary polar escapes on wooden platforms to actual shelters that will have to stand up for the rest of the season if not longer. One was at a penguin rookery! They were adorable and came right up to us! Miss you love, hopefully we will talk soon! ~Kitten

11/23/20

Babe,  Those pictures with you and the penguins are unreal! I can't believe they just walked up to you. It blows my mind that anything can live down there. How are things with Joe? Did he actually change his behavior? I would say ‘do you need me to come down there?’ but I know you got this, my amazing, strong sexy beast of a woman. I hope I can pick up when you call next. Missing hearing your voice broke my heart. ~Aus 98+/- (Why is this taking so damn long! You should be in my arms.)

 12.14.20

Dear darling Austin, Thank god we got to talk last week, I was really worried about you. Digging into the pain about your mom… I just wish I was there to hold you tight, like she would’ve been. I know I didn’t know her, but from everything you’ve said, I know I would have adored her. (hugs, hugs and more hugs) I got your package yesterday! I opened it without thinking, thank god all the things in it were wrapped! Except for the mangoes… fuck baby. They are perfectly ripe right now, if a little frozen. I’m gonna go eat some mango pussy. Would you like that? watching me eat pussy….

Did you get my package yet? It might be a bit silly. But you can open it when you get it. :) We have been digging into this new building since I got back. The guys worked on all the steel pieces and I’m lead on the framing team. It’s definitely different from what I’ve been used to doing. But I’m finding that all my skills are actually helpful because I know the pieces that come next, so I don’t let the crew fuck things up for the electricians and plumbers and drywallers that will be coming behind us in the future. I miss you baby, I know we keep saying that to each other, so much that it’s like saying something over and over again and the shape of it feels odd in your mouth all of a sudden. But even though I have made great friends here and am in a routine that pulls me from day to day, it would be perfect if you were here with me. With you on my arm, no one would try to pull my pigtails! Love you with all my heart ~Kitten

12/25/20

Baby Doll,  Merry Christmas!! Babe, I did get your package, and I didn’t open in until this morning. Why would you say it’s silly? It’s amazing. You painted this? I am going to take it in and have it framed so I can hang it up. Wow. If you ever wanted to stop doing construction, you could be a professional artist. Tom and Rita have invited a bunch of us up to their place for dinner. I’m about to go get ready but just wanted to tell you that yes, I get it. Saying it gets old, but it doesn't mean we don’t feel it still. Yeah, mom would’ve adored you right back. I fucking miss you. I fucking love you. And holy fuck yes on watching you eat pussy, mango or otherwise.

66 days +/- (can we make time move faster?) ~Your own personal elf- Austin

12.25.20

Dear Austin,  Merry Christmas!! I loved your gifts, they are perfect for here! Lip balm and sunscreen and the warmest, silliest socks. That mini humidifier is sitting on my bedside table as we speak! The running gloves for under my big ones are going to be a game changer! Now I can do fiddly bits without my fingers getting cold! Although it’s a ridiculously balmy 25 degrees Celsius out there right now. I don’t even bring my red parka out right now! Today I joined the Antarctic Polar bear club. Yup I plunged into barely above freezing water in my underwear, no not the unicorn ones, I actually had some polar bear ones I brought just for this! I was nothing if not on theme! It was fucking cold. And exhilarating! But I’m not sure I want to do it again. Luckily we went right into the sauna to warm up! Love you ever so much, give Tom and Rita my love! ~Your Xmas Kitten

1/1/21

My sweet Kitten, Thank you for the phone call, oh my god I needed it. I’m feeling so worn out, even though we kinda had this week off and I’ve been just sleeping as much as I can and going to the beach with other cast members, it’s just not the same without my best girl next to me. (that’s you, btw) I wish I had you with me last night to kiss. I did end up kissing Olivia, but it was just a new years eve peck thing, plus it’s not like we’ve not kissed on set. Is that weird for you? I’ve never asked you about it. Love you so much, it hurts. I def need a kiss on my heart. 59 days +/- ~Yours, Austin

1.3.21

Austin, When I see you, you are gonna get all the kisses on every part of you. Real talk babe: where I’d like to be there to remind you what my kisses are like and reap the benefits if you get turned on, kissing on set doesn't bug me, that’s just part of acting. Didn’t Elvis kiss like all the girls in the audience? Super-spreader much? Ha! TBH, I pecked a few people too when we counted down to midnight. How do you feel about that? Wow, that looks super passive aggressive. I’m def not meaning it that way. Just wondering cuz we’ve never talked about it and I don’t think our games with Loki or ‘the guy from Brisbane’ count as talking about it! Now actually making out with someone like not for work (that’s a crazy sentence right there!)… that we’d def have to talk about. I mean… mostly because I would want to be a part of something hot like that. FOMO!!! On a different note, I sang in Icestock last night. It’s the annual McMurdo music festival. There were comedians and skits and mini plays and bands and a chili cook off! I sang a bunch of stuff with some guys, we had to rehearse on our off time but it was super fun! I had my buddy video it. I’m gonna put it on a USB stick and send it to you, just for fun! There is some other stuff on there too, just for you, including my polar plunge! God we needed a party too. The grind was getting to us all. Yeah we have 24 hours of daylight, but I never knew I’d miss the stars so much! We are about to head into Vessel Season, that means extra people in town, mostly Kiwi and US military, to help unload the massive supply ships. From what I understand we will be pulled to help. I love you baby, soon hunny, soon I miss YOUR kisses ~Kitten

 1/8/21

My darling love, Happy Elvis’ birthday! He would've been 86. We had a huge birthday cake on set today. I don’t really care about pecks like that, plus you are too French for me to get up in arms about that. I do feel the same way you do about making out. If you are gonna make out with someone, I want to be there too. If it’s a girl, I def want to be there. That would be hot. We filmed a kissing scene today between young Elvis and younger Priscilla. It really made me miss you so much. I definitely channeled our first kiss into the work. Remember, on the couch? This might be weird to say, but no one kisses me like you do. Love and miss you, 52 days +/- ~Aus

1/25/21

Kitten,  Honey, I have a confession. We were rehearsing one of the big shows where Elvis goes into the audience and kisses all the girls. I had to talk my own demon out of taking home an extra and fucking her silly. She looked just enough like you and she was staring at me all dreamy eyed when I was on stage. Then I had to kiss all these women in the audience and I was all worked up. I’m sorry babe, know that I didn’t do anything or even talk to her. But we talked about being honest with one another and I feel better with you knowing. No I’m not asking if I can do anything with her, it was just like a perfect storm to turn me on. Honestly I’ve been too exhausted and terrified to really feel horny lately, so it kinda took me by surprise. I’m so sorry if this makes you mad. Know I love you and I’m not gonna do anything to screw up what we have. ~Austin 35 days +/- (I can wait, I swear)

1.26.21

Babe,  Love you, not mad. Will respond more when I have time! ~Your best girl

1.31.21

Ok my love,  First of all, I’m sorry this took so long to reply to. It’s been so busy here I’ve not had time. Secondly, I’m not mad. You are human, despite your intrusive thoughts to the contrary. Being attracted to people is just a part of being human. It actually feels really good that you were comfy enough to tell me how you are feeling. Thank you for trusting me. I have this ideal thought in my head that I’d want to be cool with a sorta semi-permeable relationship. Like yeah, making out with a women with you would be hot… fuck I think making out with a man with you would blow my fucking mind. (would you be down for that? Kissing a guy?) But I know I’m not cool with either of us just fucking others at will, at least not when we are this far away. How could you reclaim me, or I you, when these miles exist between us? Share someone with you? Sure, but we need to actually sit down and talk about it face to face. When I'm back and we’ve talked and you and I have had our fill of one another, if that girl is game and we get along… I’m down to try it out, baby. If you are even interested in that. There are a few cute Airmen here, but my demon seems to be slumbering. Remember, the less I get the less I want it. It could also be the fucking 10-12 hour days we’ve been putting in! Which is VERY different from fucking 10-12 hours a day.  Remember our first 72 hours? Damn that was amazing. I love you baby, now and forever, Your lover- Kitten

2/4/21

Amazing woman of my dreams,  How are you so fucking cool, do you know how hard I had to work to get my other gf’s to be cool about kissing on set, let alone talk about sharing a person. This whole thing makes me love you even more. How do I feel about kissing a guy? I think it depends on the guy. But it doesn’t squick me out or anything. Honestly right now, if it meant getting to hold you in my arms, I’d do it and more in a heartbeat. And for the record, I don’t think I could ever ‘get my fill’ of you babe. I love you so much, 25 days +/- (is that fucking real, only 25 days???) Devoted to you- Austin

2.25.21

Babe,  Oh my god! I am so done helping unload and reload ships! Give me my fucking hammer and let me pound something! So I have some shitty news. Y’know how, on the phone we were talking about my departure date being end of February and being back with you by March 1st. Well, I got my departure date, it’s not until March 10th, and I can’t move it up. They even offered me a bonus to stay overwinter, but I declined. As cool as it’s been I need to get off the ice and into your arms. So I won't be back on the Gold Coast until March 12th at the earliest. I don’t know if I have to quarantine. I have to arrange for my stuff to be shipped to Greece in that time as well. You say you have to leave for London mid March. I’m freaking out that I might miss you. I’m gonna try to call tomorrow so we can talk about it. Fuck this sucks, Love you so much ~Kitten

[petewentzisblack1312]

tbh I'm glad u showed up on my dash and I followed u because I kinda forgot how much I liked fall out boy back when I was a scenemo teenager (but I mainly listened to from under the cork tree on repeat + infinity on high) and now I see u talking about the albums that didn't cross my radar and I'm going back and actually experiencing them in full for the first time and god they truly are such an amazing and talented and fun band. I started with folie à deux and I don't think there was a single miss for me on that album :') (also glad I follow u because I've been learning a lot more about the band and about broader music culture in general. thanks for ur presence here despite the absolute clowns that show up. hope u have a peaceful and pleasant day <3 )

thank you <333 my day has been going well but i have been struck with fob related insanity however i am so so so so seepy i fear i will fall asleep before i see them.

[be-with-me-so-happily]

Summary: Y/N applies to be a styling intern for the One Direction crew during the Where We Are tour. As she gets better at her job and closer to the band and crew (especially Harry Styles), some of her dreams seem to be coming true, but so are some of her fears.

A/N: This one is a bit longer. Kinda crazy. Let me know what you think. Be aware that a lot of it has to do with Zayn leaving the band.

Warnings: Some language, intercourse, Zayn leaving

~~~~~

CHAPTER 23 -

NOW IT'S JUST TOO LATE TO TURN AROUND

March 19th, 2015

"Hey honey, got a minute?"

"Yep!"

"Are… you alone?"

"Nat, what's up?"

"Zayn went back to the UK..."

"Okay…"

"He said it's just stress… but… everyone is starting to think that he might be done."

"Done with what?"

"With the band."

"What? No."

You feel uneasy, but have a hard time believing it.

"It's just rumors from the crew, but… we haven't pulled any outfits for him for this show, so I don't know."

"Maybe he just… needs, like, a short break? He does get stressed pretty easily… and he's taken small breaks before…"

"Yeah, maybe. Feels a bit different this time.

"I'm sure it's gonna be okay. Some people just… run their mouths a bit too much."

You know she's worried. Even though their personalities were total opposites, she was closer to Zayn than any of the other guys.

"Yeah. You're probably right. I miss you, honey."

"I miss you too. Wish I was there."

"Me too. Damn it, I need to go. Love ya."

She quickly hangs up and you are left standing in the kitchen, your stomach twisting a little. You open your messages.

:you: hey z!

:you: you doing alright?

:you: i'm always here to talk

~~~~~

March 20th, 2015

It is your last day at your temp job. You have really liked the opportunity to work with the designer and experience a different environment to working with One Direction. It is definitely more of what you pictured you would be doing, while you were studying at school.

You do, however, miss the family environment that was created on tour. You also got to call the shots, for the most part, with a lot of their outfits.

But, nonetheless, this was an awesome experience and you are glad you had it. Now you have a more versatile resume as well, and that's definitely an upside.

"Hey Y/N?" Your boss, Deidra, says to get your attention as you pack up for the day. "I am beyond grateful for your help, girlie. We needed the extra hands, and I'm going to thank Amelia for recommending you."

"It was my pleasure! Thank you for the opportunity!" You reply.

"We may actually need some help again next month, if you're interested?" She offers.

"Absolutely! I'd love to!" You instantly reply.

"Great! I'll give you a call when the time comes!" She gives you a hug. "Seriously, girl, thank you."

~~~~~

"Wow! You really killed it then!" Ryan exclaims, sitting on the kitchen stool as he finishes his dinner.

You laugh, then shrug. "I guess so."

"Not surprising. You've always been a hard worker. Even in school." He winks.

"I guess." You smile, grateful for his support. He's such a nice guy.

"Just take the compliment, punk!" He grabs your face and you give him your best 'squished-face' smile. Then he kisses your lips.

"I'm glad I brought some treats over. You like cookies a lot, right?"

"Yes. I do."

After a little bit of reminiscing, and finishing your cookies, Ryan stands up and swivels you around to face him.

"It's Friday night, can I stay over?" He asks.

"Sure!" You reply.

He leans in to kiss you. Hyped up from the confidence boost, you grab the back of his head and pull him in closer for a deeper kiss.

It doesn't take him long to stand you up and lead you to the couch. He seems to want to get right to the point.

Clothing is quickly removed from the both of you and you drop down backwards, as he plops himself down to hover over you.

You push him off you to straddle and lower yourself onto him. You're going to take some control this time.

[Okay, brain, no more ex-boyfriend bullshit]

"Fuck." You mutter, not keeping the quiet volume that he seems to use himself.

He stops your movements and you whine. "Are you okay?" He asks.

"Yes, Ry, it's good!" You reply, looking down at him to show your sincerity.

He thrusts up into you, getting deep, and you resume grinding on him.

With labored breath, you look down at him, "can you… kiss my neck?" He leans in and pushes your hair back.

[This. This is closer to what you wanted]

"I'm getting close, Y/N." He admits.

"Can… can you thrust in me." You request. As he does, you can feel your body trying to take over.

"Oh my god." You pant.

He picks up the pace, which gets you closer, and you grab his hair tightly with both hands. You put all your thought into orgasming, you just need to help push yourself over the edge. You moan.

"Fuck!... Oh my god, Har-"

[What? No!! No!!]

"Harder." You request, trying to cover up the huge mistake you just made, hoping he didn't notice.

"I'm so close." He responds.

You close your eyes tightly, trying to focus on everything else except what just happened. You bury your face in his neck.

"Go deeper." You whisper, and he abides, sending you over the edge. "Oh… my god!" You exclaim, sitting up again and throwing your head back. Your legs shake as you try to steady your breathing. He pumps up, and in, a couple more times before he groans and pulls out.

After sitting there for a few minutes, both breathing heavily as you come down, you swing your leg back over him and stand up.

[Did he hear you? Does he know what you were going to say?]

He sits there silent for a minute then looks up at you and smiles. "Even better than last time."

[Good, he didn't hear you]

You chuckle, and lean down to kiss him. "Mhmm." You give him a wink. "I'm gonna take a shower. Are you staying?"

"Yeah, if I can?" He wiggles his eyebrows, in a sarcastically sexual way.

"Oh my god." You roll your eyes. "I take the offer back," you say, joking.

"Awww…" he pouts.

"I'll see you in the room." You chuckle as you make your way to the guest bathroom.

You use the shower once again to clean your body as well as your mind.

[Why the hell were you about to say Harry's name? What the hell is wrong with you?]

You weren't actively thinking about Harry while you were straddling Ryan's lap, with his dick inside you.

[It was really good sex… better than the first time]

"Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you, Y/N?" You whisper, as you run your hands over to get the shampoo out of your hair. "This is so fucking stupid." You whisper again to yourself.

[Why the hell is this happening?]

~~~~~

March 24th, 2015

Frazzled is the only word to describe the past few days. The fact that you were enjoying sex with Ryan but started to say your ex-boyfriend's name left you… frazzled.

You aren't make any moves, any flirty gestures, or make any comments that would insinuate you wanted sex. You need to sort yourself out, because you don't want to say it again, and you definitely don't want Ryan to hear it. You like him, and you like the sex, and you need to sort this out so he doesn't get hurt.

You're going to call Natalie. You know she will freak out, maybe cuss you out a bit too, but she's your best friend and you don't know what to do.

But you'll wait til tomorrow. It's the next day for them and you're pretty sure they have a show, so tomorrow will be better.

~~~~~

March 25th, 2015

"After five incredible years Zayn Malik has decided to leave One Direction. Niall, Harry, Liam and Louis will continue as a four-piece and look forward to the forthcoming concerts of their world tour and recording their fifth album, due to be released later this year."

[Oh. My. God]

You're staring at your phone in disbelief. You know Natalie had mentioned this, but to see it officially announced was a whole other thing.

"What's wrong?" Ryan asks, breaking your wild thought processing.

"Umm… Zayn left the band." You state, still staring at your phone.

"Oh. Crazy." He casually replies.

Your eyes shoot up at him and you frown.

"What?" He asks, seemingly shocked at your upset expression.

"This is a big deal." You explain.

"Oh, sorry. I just didn't think you'd care as much, since you're not with them anymore."

You scoff. "They're still my friends. They're my family!" Tears start to well up and you can't catch them before they leave your eyes. "Shit. I don't know why I'm crying. It's just… I can't believe it."

"I'm sorry, Y/N, I didn't realize. I'm so sorry." He wraps his arms around you and leans in to give you a kiss on your temple.

"I've gotta call… someone. I've gotta call Nat!" You stand up from the couch and walk to the bedroom.

The phone only rings once before she answers.

"Y/N." You can hear the sadness in her voice.

"Oh my god Nat. What… umm… how are you doing?"

"Not doing the best today."

"I'm so sorry. Damn it, I wish I was there."

"Maybe…" She stops herself.

"What?"

"Maybe you could come?"

"What? There?"

"Yeah. I miss you. This whole thing is crazy. And… the boys, like, knew already but I know it still rattled them, ya know?"

"Oh man, I-"

"I was with Niall a little bit ago. He's sad, Y/N. They all are."

"I don't know…"

"It might be a nice distraction for them, or a pick-me-up…"

[She has always pushed you to do things for adventure, but rarely for something 'emotional'. Not like this. It means she needs it too]

"Okay… I'll, uh, look up flights. When and where is the next show?"

"Johannesburg, March 28th."

"Okay, I'll try to make it there. I love you Nat."

"I love you too, honey. Can't wait to see you."

"I just wish it wasn't for this. But I'm coming."

You hang up the phone and feel a presence at the doorway. You quickly turn around to see Ryan standing there and you quietly gasp.

"You're going over there?"

"Yeah. I need to." You respond.

"Need to? Why?" He crosses his arms, defensively.

You frown again at him. "This is a rough time for them."

"Them?"

You're starting to get agitated. "Yes, them. Natalie, Levi, and the guys. They're all my friends."

"And Harry?" He questions.

"Well… no… but he's part of the band. It's rough on all of them."

He sighs and drops his head. You can tell he's nervous about that. You want to reassure him, and maybe yourself, that nothing will happen with Harry.

"Are you worried?" You ask.

"Well, yeah. He's your ex… and, uh… yeah." He answers.

"Hey…" you walk over to him and put your hands on his shoulders. "You have nothing to worry about. I'll go for a few days, then I'll come back. I just want to be there for them. Like, collectively."

"I know." He nods, and you give him a kiss on the cheek. "You're a good person, you care about everyone."

"A few days." You remind him. He looks up at you, hesitation still in his eyes, but a small smile on his face.

"I'll help you look for flights."

You suddenly hear your phone vibrate.

:niall: tomorrow morning 7am

:niall: private jet for you

:you: niall… no…

:niall: please let me do this

:niall: we want you here

:you: okay, bud… thank you

:niall: yw superstar :)

You look up at Ryan and shrug. "Well, I don't need a flight, Niall just covered that. I'm leaving tomorrow morning."

His eyes open wider. "Oh, wow. Okay." His hand reaches behind and he runs his neck. You grab his face to look him in the eyes. "A few days Ryan. That's all."

He drops his hand and grabs your face to squish your cheeks again. "I know. I'm just sad. My pillow doesn't cuddle back like you do." He chuckles.

You can tell he's still nervous, but it's sweet that he's trying to be calm for you. You give him a gentle kiss before pulling away to start packing.

~~~~~

March 27th, 2015

It was a very long flight, especially by yourself, and especially since you still don't like to fly. To say you were nervous felt like an understatement. Thankfully, the one flight attendant that came along ended up sitting and chatting with you, since you weren't giving her much to do anyway. You actually ended up taking a good, long nap, so you weren't too exhausted as you arrived in South Africa.

The car pulls up to the hotel and your stomach is in knots. It's surreal that you are here at all, let alone to be with the band for a bit, and not being a part of the crew anymore.

You basically bolt out of the elevator to Natalie's room. You can't wait to be with your girls.

You knock on the hotel room door and it quickly swings open. Natalie squeals as she jumps on you for a hug.

"Let… me… in…" you mutter as her grip gets tighter around your neck. She lets go and you giggle.

"My girl!" Exclaims Jade, coming over for a big hug herself. She pulls back. "It seriously isn't the same without you here." She gives you another hug.

"Tell me about it." You reply.

You hear the bathroom door open and turn around to see Dana standing in the doorway, with a big smile on her face.

"Dana! What-..." You stutter, looking around at the others, jaw dropping.

"Well, hey there!" She giggles.

"What's going on? You're hanging with these crazies now?"

"Hey!" Jade laughs.

"No. Actually, Amelia recruited me once Sarah was fired and… you quit…" She explains. "So I get to bunk with these beauties!"

You smile. "That's awesome, D!"

"I know right? I'm moving on up!" She giggles again.

"I didn't even know you wanted to do this." You state.

"I didn't either, but Amelia was… kinda desperate… and she asked Jacob if any of us merch interns wanted to give it a go."

"Of course this happens when I leave…" You sigh.

She shakes her head. "Just think of it as doing me a favor." She smiles, probably trying to make you feel better about missing out on all this.

"Well, then you're welcome." You chuckle.

Natalie grabs your bags and puts them by the rest of theirs. "We get to share beds here." She says with some sarcasm.

"Slumber party!!" Jade yells.

"This will be an interesting trip." You joke. "Speaking of… are… we all going to see the boys right now?"

"It's just me and you, honey." Natalie replies.

"We know they really wanna see you, so we will hang back here." Jade says, gesturing grandly at the small hotel room.

"Okay, we will catch up later then, okay?" You give them both hugs, quickly freshen up in the bathroom, and make your way out the door.

You enter the elevator and your nerves peak. You know the boys love you, but you wonder if you're overstepping.

"Why are you fidgeting?" Natalie asks, grabbing your hands to calm you down.

"I honestly have no idea." You shrug.

"First time meeting a boy band?" She jokes.

"Yeah. Think I'll get their autographs?" You chuckle.

"Probably not. They're kinda mean, got big egos."

You reach the floor and are met by two security guards. Natalie explains that you are with her, and once it all checks out, they let you both through.

One knock is all it takes for the door to open, and Niall gives you one of the biggest smiles you've seen on his face. It's good to see, considering the mood you were expecting.

"Superstar is here!" He yells as he turns his head back to everyone that's in the room.

You're pulled inside, seeing Louis and Liam sitting on the couches, just munching on snacks and playing video games.

"Well, well, well…" Louis states and he drops down his controller and walks over to hug you.

"Surprised the hotel hasn't kicked you out yet Tommo!" You joke.

"There's still time, love." He winks.

Liam is next to walk over. "Hello darling, we've missed you." He pulls you back then gives you a kiss on the cheek.

"Me too bud, me too."

Niall comes up behind you after shutting the door.

"Welcome home!" He exclaims.

"I'm only here for a few days…" you respond.

"Okay, sure, sure."

~~~~~

After chatting with everyone, keeping it light-hearted, Louis has convinced you to play a video game with him.

"You're going down, Y/L/N!"

"I don't know Louis… I feel some 'whoop-his-ass' powers coursing through my veins!" Everyone laughs. You know you won't be good, but you can't resist a little trash talk with him, and it could help the mood.

He starts explaining a little bit about how to play, and you are ready to start.

The room door opens, and you can hear some chatter, but you are trying to stay focused before the game starts.

"Shush!" You blurt out, in a joking manner. "Focus… Whoop his ass… focus…" you chant, pretending you're trying to be quiet but making sure everyone close by can hear you.

"Y/N?" You hear that deep, familiar voice call out. "Wha-... What are… You're here?"

You almost drop the controller as your head snaps towards the doorway, seeing Harry's tall, slightly disheveled figure standing a few feet inside the room. His eyes are wide, as if he is looking at a ghost.

[He didn't know you were coming?]

"Hey..." You clear your throat and stand up. You're not entirely sure what to do, but you want to try and put everything aside, just for this moment.

As you walk closer, you can see his eyes darting all around you, as if he can't believe what he is seeing.

You stand right in front of him and open your arms and wrap them around for a hug. He immediately wraps his around your shoulders and you hear his breathing is shallow.

"What are you doing here, Y/N?" He whispers, not yet releasing his arms from around you.

"With what's going on… I couldn't not come…" You reply.

He pulls back and keeps his hands on your shoulders, studying your face and giving you the tiniest smile.

"I wanted to be here for all my friends." You add.

His gaze drops down, but he keeps that hint of a smile as he nods.

"That's good. Good. Thanks. It's been…" He furrows his brow, not continuing his statement.

One of your hands rubs up and down his upper arm. "I know. I'm sorry, H."

He flicks his eyes up at the sound of his old nickname, but you don't correct yourself. You don't want to make this moment awkward, because it's bigger than the both of you.

As you look into his eyes, you don't find the comfort you were once so very used to. You see a suppressed sadness. You're not sure if it's because of Zayn leaving, or you being here, or both, but there are the tiniest tears starting to form. He's cried before, of course, but this not the Harry you knew before.

"Harry…" you whisper.

He clears his throat. "It's… it's good to see you." His smile widens. He gives you a quick side hug, clears his throat again, and walks over to the couches.

As Harry grabs the game controller, Louis puts his hands up. "Oh, mate, Y/N was about to play."

Harry turns his head to you and raises an eyebrow, knowing that playing video games is not really something you do.

"No, that's okay." You shake your head.

"She's just too scared to lose." Louis jokes.

You growl. "I'm just saving you some embarrassment."

Harry chuckles. "I kind of want to see this…" and he lifts up the controller for you to grab, and you sit in the middle of the couch.

"Time to make you cry, Tommo." Everyone laughs and gathers round the couch as you start to play.

With Louis on one side of you and Harry on the other, you play the game and throw out your best insults. You are right on the cusp of winning and Harry sits forward on the couch.

"Come on… you can win this… go! Go!"

At the very last second, Louis beats you, and the room fills with disappointed groans.

"Aw, cheers mates. Thanks for the support." He rolls his eyes.

"My fans are loyal too, Tommo." You grin, causing him to stick out his tongue at you.

Some food arrives and everyone sits around on the couches and on the floor. It reminds you of the time everyone was hanging out in Ronnie Wood's hotel suite after the X-Factor performance. It feels so nice to just be around all of your friends again, joking and laughing, listening to the stories that they already have from this new tour.

You do feel a slight sadness that you aren't experiencing it all with them. But you shake it off, wanting to soak up these good moments you're having with them. You're happy that they are at least enjoying today.

You look up from your plate, and catch Harry glancing at you. He clears his throat and then looks down at his own plate. You know him well, and can spot the tiniest little frown on his face. Then you feel a small frown forming across your own face.

[He's the reason you aren't experiencing it all with them. Well, you could be, but you probably wouldn't be enjoying this moment right now…]

~~~~~

"Hey Y/N, I've gotta head back. The girls and I need to get to the venue to set up." Natalie announces, looking at her watch.

"Okay, yeah, I think I need a nap anyway." You reply.

You both get up and give hugs to the boys, and the few crew members there that you know. Harry is last, and you both struggle for a few seconds trying to figure out how to hug one another.

You end up just letting him pull you in gently, and slightly wrap your arms under his. You don't let it last more than a second or two, then head to the door. He follows behind you, and as Natalie walks out into the hallway, puts his hand on your shoulder.

"It's… it's really good to see you." Harry says, holding the door frame with one hand, as he runs the other one through his curls.

"Right. Well, I wanted to be here for all my friends." You shrug. "Seems like a crazy, weird thing that's happening so… just wanted to… bring some support."

"It means a lot to me, to us." He replies, showing a big dimpled smile on his face, which makes you giggle.

[There. There he is. The Harry you know]

"It'll be a short trip, but I hope I can help."

"It's helped me already." He says, flashing another big, dimpled smile.

"Good. But…" You clear your throat. "This doesn't change anything, Harry. I'm here for everyone in the band. For my friends on the crew. For Natalie. Not… not, like, for you."

You feel a lump forming in your throat saying that. You don't want to be harsh, especially not right now, but you definitely need to be clear with him.

His eyes drop for a second, before he looks back up, smiling and nodding. "I know. I do. I still appreciate that you're here."

[He took that well. He's moving on. Good for him]

"Well, have a good soundcheck and stuff."

"Are… are you coming to the show tomorrow?" He asks.

"Yeah."

"Okay. Good. I'll, uh… I'll see you there then, maybe." He replies, letting out a quick cough and then shoving his hands in his jean pockets.

"See you there." You state, nodding at him as you walk out of the hotel suite and back to yours.

[That went fine. You feel fine. So that stuff during sex with Ryan must mean nothing…]

~~~~~

<< HARRY'S POV >>

He walks back to his suite, feeling so happy to see you again, but so sad that it'll end so quickly, that you'll leave again, and that he'll have to return to the heartbreak of knowing he let you go.

[Why did you have to look so pretty, with your hair laying naturally the way he likes it, even after such a long flight? Why did you have to joke around and laugh so big, the way he loves so much? And… why… why did you have to… to look so happy without him?]

~~~~~

Series Masterlist || Chapter 22 || Chapter 24

Taglist: @watermelonsugacry @tw1nflamebruis3 @slut4lilyrose @pinktakeaway @hopefulwastelandcreation @tenaciousperfectionunknown @his-only-angel-1989 @queenmadi2 @runway-to-my-aid @theekyliepage @be-yourss @harryistheonlyoneforme @b-reads-things @behindmygreyeyes @michellekstyles @a-strange-familiar @yousunshineyoutempter @buckybarnessimpp @little-freak-satellite @msolbesg @sleutherclaw

[ask-artsy-oncie]

So… first of all, love your art, it’s beautiful! Second, thoughts on Trolls Band Together?

I apologize if this upsets the swathe of new trolls followers I got recently, but I'm probably not going to watch it, and if I did I probably wouldn't enjoy it.

I know it's not well known Lore (TM) of mine, anymore, but I didn't think I'd like the first Trolls movie (I was dragged to go see it opening weekend) and it very pleasantly surprised me. I got really fixated and invested in it, but pretty much all official media that came out after the movie has mostly just disappointed me. The stuff I ended up liking the most about the first movie kinda fell to the wayside. So I really don't see myself enjoying this one.

It's nice that there's been a resurgence in the fandom and people are FINALLY discovering that the first movie really wasn't that bad. Sorry I'm not really participating it and my day in the sun has long since passed. I'm still pretty attached to the characters of the original film (and how they were characterized in the original film - and basically popular fanon headcanons that were born from the original film - as opposed to subsequent media) and have original comic ideas with those archetypes in mind (I wasn't kidding when I said I was planning a fleshed-out comic based on my werewolf Branch AU, but that's on the back-burner for now) but you're really not going to see me start attaching myself to all these new characters that were largely just shoehorned in. I'm sorry if they mean a lot to you but they don't really mean anything to me.

I am pretty sad that it sometimes feels like I got in - and burnt out - way too quickly given the resurgence. There are a lot of artists that I admire and respect that are just getting into the fandom and I would have loved to gush about trolls with them back in 2016-2019, in ways I'm not willing to, now. I also lament how much my skills as an artist have changed and how pretty much all of my fanwork for this very colorful franchise never really reached the coloring game I'm capable of, now (I'd definitely be willing to take trolls commissions, of course, because at this point I am pretty curious about what I could pull off, but I don't really have much drive to try, unprompted, at the moment). I dunno there's just something about it that really fills me with sadness. Like I got a LOT of attention in the trolls fandom back in the day, but it still feels like I've somehow missed my chance and that my timing was off because I can't get myself to like its sequel movies. I wish I could enjoy them, I'm sorry I don't.

That was super rambly and probably not what you wanted to hear, but I guess that's just how my thoughts spilled forth. I'm very glad to hear that you like my art. I want to keep drawing and improving and creating. If you'll stick around for that alone, that's more than I could ask for.

[galaxiesfallfromgrace]

5 songs I have been enjoying, tagged by @xigrif

gonna combine this one with with the last music meme they tagged me in that I forgot to do which was about albums, so I'll start with sharing two albums that are very special to me:

These are respectively the soundtracks to the anime Jing: King of Bandits and its OAV Seventh Heaven. They're both by Scudelia Electro/Eiji Yoshizawa (all these years I've had both listed as Scudelia Electro, but apparently only Yoshizawa worked on Seventh Heaven without the rest of the band). Seventh Heaven is an absolute banger from start to finish and I recently realized it's probably in my top 5 fav albums ever, while Treasure is a little more hit or miss but has the anime's opening and ending tracks so I love it almost as much.

ANYWAY here're 5 songs from them for the meme:

Sha La La - The Jing anime ending theme, and one of my favorite songs of all time period. Taught me I could like more chill songs as anime op/eds and just in general. (Growing up my favorite songs were as EDM-y as possible. I still love EDM I just like other things now too.)

Everblue - Nails the tone of "wandering through a dream" that the Seventh Heaven story is about, using motifs from Guiding Light. Heartbreakingly I cannot find a good upload of Guiding Light but it'd be on here if I could. Actually I can't find ANY more good uploads of songs from Seventh Heaven and I am DEVASTATED, I was also going to put Maraschino on here but the only video I found of it had horrible audio quality and it just doesn't deserve to be heard like that. But I'm all the more glad I found this then bcs it's one of my favorites.

Together We Fly - from the main anime. Yeah, just as background music, even though it's like a song-ass song. This and the last three are all instant mood lifters for me.

Night Cruise - My next most favorite one from Treasure, already doesn't really hold a candle to most things on Seventh Heaven but regardless I like it.

Shout It Loud - The opening theme of the Jing anime. I used to find the opening riff kinda harsh but now I love everything about this song.

anyway gonna tag @pyritefes2 for the "pick 5 songs you've been enjoying recently" portion of this, as well as anyone else who wants to. I mean it. If you want to do this and you don't know me, do it and say it's bcs of this post and tag me and I'll listen to the songs you share.

[attempted--eloquence]

Well now that I've seen the movie I guess the only thing I can do is re-read Handle With Care and pretend it never existed in the first place ! Do I dare ask what you thought of it ?

Oh boy. I TRULY am not even sure where to start. I’ll preface this by saying I didn’t have particularly high hopes, and was kinda just expecting to enjoy the nostalgia piece of it all.

However, it felt like the movie substituted substance (character development, coherent storytelling and plot continuation, etc.) for nostalgia? Like a washed up rock band coming back together for a one-night-only reunion show and trying to cram all of their biggest hits into a 2 hour, 20 minute runtime with a bit clumsy execution.

I think the first point that bothers me is the way that the logic/rules of the world that were established in S1 and onward just…don’t exist anymore. The wolfsbane being burnt out without needing the strain of wolfsbane that poisoned Scott. Peter Hale sniffing the ground like a dog (although ngl that was funny as fuck and I’m hoping? intentional) when werewolves can literally smell chemosignals from a good distance away, let alone blood. The nogitsune being Gerard who is already a werewolf, right? But also the nogitsune is not supposed to be able to be a fox and wolf? Also, Mr. Harris acquiring the jar for the Nogitsune from Liam and Hikari in Japan (how did it get there in the first place?), neither of whom he had ever met because he was presumed dead after s3?

I’m also really…confused about the repeated decision to introduce storylines without giving integral background information (or at least, a reason to give a fuck?) Parrish and Malia. Derek Hale having a son. Hikari and Liam in Japan. Gerard becoming a nogitsune.

Especially with Hikari…she’s like the first figure we see in the movie and yet by the end of it, I have no clue at all who she is as a person. Her and Liam (and MASON. What the hell.) are like cardboard cutouts with a button that you push to spit out occasional one-liners.* And I don’t understand the introduction of a new character when they’re essentially a nothing factor and have such limited, flat interactions with the existing cast. They let Eli Hale shine and become someone we root for. I want to care about Hikari! But I feel like I wasn’t given a reason to. I don’t know if the role was written for Kira and unchanged when Arden declined and was replaced, but it seemed like it was written as if we were automatically supposed to know, understand, and root for Hikari while essentially only knowing she’s a kitsune who is Liam’s love interest? and works at a ramen house with him. All her defining traits seemed to be about what she can offer to the plot rather than who she actually is.

Maybe I placed too many expectations on the ability to develop some of these things within the runtime of the movie…but I think if there’s an inability to make all of these plot points logical, some of them could’ve gotten cut. But, I’d really like to know other thoughts/feelings on the movie, though! Also I totally could’ve missed some things in the movie that would’ve alleviated some of my frustrations with it, but I dunno.

Positives! Oh babey I am so glad Theo fucking Raeken was not in that movie. Also the copious use of the word fuck was awesome lmfao. And I thought Eli was funny! (he’s, uh, very much like a Stiles Jr. but I have no comment on that). Also Finstock is Finstock which is cool. And thank the heavens for Alan Deaton. And the scene where Allison had to burn the wolfsbane out and having her mother over her shoulder as a callback to that one scene when she has to stitch up Scott was well done, I thought.

*on the note of characterization, I think I have this same gripe with a lot of characters in the movie. Jackson is essentially there just to keep Lydia company. Malia and Parrish are a thing because…reasons? Allison is undead after 15 years and working through amnesia and she’s somehow not that affected by it? (Yeah, she’s like, murderous and disoriented at first…but after realizing she’s been dead 15 years and remembering Scott she’s kinda fine?) Mason is just another familiar face on the police force. Derek seemed so UnDerek to me. And even after trying to rationalize that fatherhood changes a person, his timid ~just a father trying to do my best to raise my delinquent child of mysterious origins that I love very much~ just didn’t…work for me. Also HIM CHOOSING TO BURN TO DEATH IN FRONT OF HIS KID OMFG.

[adultswim2021]

Metalocalypse #35: “Dethdad” | July 14, 2008 - 12:00AM | S02E15

I mostly didn’t watch Metalocalypse this season when it was new. I fell off sometime early on and just figured I’d wait for the DVD, which I bought and also didn’t watch. This show remains one that I admire a lot, and usually wind up being glad to have watched it... BUT! I am almost never specifically in the mood for it.

I became a diligent Adult Swim recorder around this time, though, so in a bid to record everything new that aired on each block, I wound up accidentally spoiling certain episodes of certain shows for myself. This is one of them. I already knew the ending to this one. SPOILERS (we spoil stuff here, folks): I saw that guy sink like a stone.

As the tribunal puts it, every time Toki touches someone’s life with love, they wind up dying in such a way as to leave Toki with a traumatic loss. This is usually undercut with a detached, absurdist gallows-humor irreverence. This one leads up to Toki confronting his father’s death by traveling to Norway as he lie on his deathbed. He meets his father, who requests that Toki take him to die peacefully in the house he was born in.

Toki must carry his father up a mountain to get to said house, and on the last step he slips. His father falls out of his arms, and slides down the mountain and into a frozen-over lake. Toki scrambles to get to him, but now he’s slid under a thick sheet of ice. We see the life leave his father’s eyes as he sinks into the blackness of the frozen Nordic lake, all while his son watches in horror. How rude!

Seeing this moment out of context (with the sound off; I usually muted my TV when editing my recordings) is a pretty different experience. I expect the show to get dark, and that’s pretty brutal. What I wasn’t prepared for is the cartoony slip sound effect when Toki drops his dad. Hilarious! Also, the gratuitous bit at the end where Murderface throws a firecracker at the side of the mountain, causing an avalanche that crushes the house they were trying to travel to (that’s the culmination of a running gag where the band terrorizes Murderface with firecrackers).

The ending is very memorable, and it’s a great moment for the show, but this episode is maybe on the weaker side? It’s tough to say; I was influenced by sorta knowing the ending so I didn’t really get to go in fresh. The scenes on the way to the climax are hit and miss. And when you really think about it, that ending is simply too weird. Why did that guy go under the ice?? What a freakin’ weirdo. Toki’s dad is a friggin’ crackhead. May he rest in peace.

MAIL BAG

Art book time! Jackson isn't a fan of this episode either. Like you said, it's overstuffed and not the cleanest episode despite it's cool moments. But he also just really hated how the Entmann character tuned out. He wrote for John Hodgman and underwrote as a result cause he figured his delivery would balance it out, but he was busy and so got Stephen Destefano instead. He thought a Kvetchy voice would be funny but it didn't really work for the character, he never came out how he wanted him to. You can kinda tell cause after Now Museum they did nothing with him for 30 episodes before literally pissing on his grave in season 5.

Thank you for this tidbit! I really should get myself a copy of that thing. I just couldn't pull trigger on it because money is perpetually tight around here and I thought it was weird that they released that thing before the show had ended properly.

In the commentary they mentioned creating that character for a friend of theirs, but wouldn't say who, and they seemed mildly bitter about the whole thing.

[animusiem]

Billboard USA Exclusion Zone Episode 19 (08/05/2023)

After three weeks hiatus, I am finally back from the break and a lot has happened recently. We got Jungkook and Latto's first #1 hit, this week we have NewJeans album bomb along with Barbie rising up more, and Speak Now Taylor's Version is out as well. That's all that really happened really, I don't know what anything that happened beside that hahaha....anyways here's the best chart on earth's debut review.

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4. "ETA" by NewJeans

I think 2023 has been a great year for Kpop, but if you tell this to like a Kpophead they'll tell you it's kinda tumultuous. Using NewJeans as an example, they have been kinda screwed by their label manager in the lead up to Get Up. This song is the prime example which some people on Twitter are calling this song a support for a far-left Basque separatist group...okay then twitter. Bottom line is that despite the success and this being a great song (even if it sounded like That That by Psy), It has been a chaotic year for Kpop

6. "K-pop" by Travis Scott ft. Bad Bunny & The Weeknd

I will get into the album review next week, but it's kinda interesting how because of Goosebumps and Sicko Mode, he's now is big enough globally that this song can chart on Global Excluding US chart. And also I couldn't forget that while he's indeed a piece of shit and has blood on his hand, at the end of the day the music has to prove itself to be good (unless if you are a Nazi or a rapist and make a song about it). With that in mind, this song is not good. Who thought that mixing funk carioca drum with eerie synth was a good idea is beyond me.

19. "Cool With You" by NewJeans

My favorite part of Kpop this year is how they're embracing the 2000's dance sound along with the club sound. That's why this song is my favorite one from the album. I just love the UK Garage sound and this one is no exceptions.

26. "ASAP" by NewJeans

I've never seen any Kpop bands ever experimented as much as this one. This is legit felt like early Bjork sound modernized and I don't take that lightly.

44. "Get Up" by NewJeans

Cool intro sis!

82. "Barbie Girl" by Aqua

You know my ass was very egg back then when I didn't have negative reaction listening to this song for the first time during elementary. And also me opening up repressive memories of me wanting to play Barbie but couldn't...anyways Barbie movie is great.

110. "Speed Drive" by Charli XCX

The fact that this song sounds like her hyperpop days with the ringtone like synth and the distorted bass charted high in here and also the US showed that we are so back baby!

128. "Nothing Compares 2 U" by Sinead O'Connor

The saddest part of her death is that I just found out that she converted to Islam. She fought a good fight and this cover of The Family song is still a classic. Innalillahi Wa Inalillahi Roji'un Shuhada' Sadaqat I hope you're finally find peace in akhirat.

129. "Love Like This" by Zayn

Anyways here's Zayn trend chasing the 2000's dance throwback and make it sound like the most uninspired thing ever, even if I do love the anti-drop.

149. "I'm Just Ken" by Ryan Gosling

My favorite part of the movie is the music choices. The fact that they changed the music on the radio from Indigo Girls to Matchbox Twenty to signified the takeover of Kens is inspired, as well as making Ryan Gosling singing what I would describe as an homage to the late Jim Steinmen, this movie is just great.

187. "Montagem - PR Funk" by S3BZS

All I can say is that if you showed this to your grandparents, they would perish.

198. "Rosa Patel" by Belanova

So if I get this correctly, this song is a pop rock song made by a Mexican band that was released in 2006 and during that time they're making Spanish version of High School Musical song...God I love this chart so much.

199. "Dial Drunk" by Noah Kahan

I kinda missed the indie folk sound of 2011-2014 as vapid and meaningless as they sound. And I'm glad he bring this back with some great guitar solo.

I highly recommend everyone to listen to these songs.