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attemptatjournaling · 2 years

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Coaching Journal #1

Career/ work - 4/10 - I have come so far in my career but something about it still feels so unfulfilled to me. I have been working in industry for six years and am a Principal Aerospace Engineer. I love being able to say I’m a rocket scientist. However, I definitely feel like a small fish in an ocean at work. I want to increase the level of authority and respect I’m able to command at work and I don’t want to hit the same issues I’ve had previously where I don’t feel like I’m being recognized for my hard work or getting the pay/promotions that I clearly deserve. I think I have a tendency to compare myself to quite a lot of people in this area. It’s easy for me to get big-headed about my job, and also really easy for me to feel like I’m way behind where I’m supposed to be. It’s especially easy for me to compare myself with my super smart and talented boyfriend. I’m lucky to have him to help me and teach me but we have the same level of experience and I feel like he’s so beyond me in so many ways.

Finances/ wealth - 4/10 - This is another area where I feel like I am doing a pretty good job. I think job-wise I am making really decent money and I am very good at managing it. But I see other people at my level who have way more money than me and I recognize that I’m still paying off a ton of student debt (I came out of college with 90k in debt and then continued to get my masters’ degree). I have a ton of money going into retirement accounts. But I don’t really feel like I have the amount of money I can set aside each month to save up for things I WANT to spend money on, like travel or fun stuff.

Relationships - 2/10 - I don’t think any of my recent relationships have been unhealthy, and I don’t want my score to be a reflection of my relationship with my boyfriend. The reason I scored so low in this category is because I feel like I have a ton of anxiety surrounding relationships and I think whenever I’m in relationships I let myself panic over whether I’m with the right person, whether I’m doing the right things in the relationship or not, whether I’m feeling the way I’m supposed to, etc, etc, etc. I do a pretty good job at being single and on my own and I don’t feel like I have a real fear of being alone. Yet I’ve still been in relationships most of my life. And I definitely feel like each one I come out of causes me more and more anxiety for my next one. At this point I’m just a total mess surrounding this stuff. I don’t think my boyfriend truly sees how I am about this stuff. I think he thinks I’m just a good girlfriend, but I put a lot of effort into my relationships. And then I’m worried about whether or not I’m getting the same effort back or whether I should be putting in more/less. Relationships tend to be the number one thing I talk to my therapist about.

Health/ emotional/ fitness /physical/ wellbeing - 6/10 - I think this one fluctuates a lot. I’ve never had a schedule that wasn’t tricky to deal with. I have done my absolute best for YEARS to schedule in workouts- time to cook healthy meals, time for friends, etc. I definitely struggle to balance everything but I definitely have health at the forefront of my mind often and do the best I can in my situation. Especially lately with my new job, I’ve done a really great job getting on a normal sleep schedule for basically the first time in my life. But other things like my nutrition are suffering. I always try to stick to habits. I refuse to give up on things like exercise and nutrition but I’m aware that sometimes the quicker/cheaper option is the option I need to go with just so I don’t stress out so much trying to fit in too many things into my day. I feel very physically strong. I love to lift weights. But I struggle with the fact that I don’t look like a fit person even though I consider myself to be.

Mindset/ personal growth - 7/10 - I have come so far in this category but I know there’s much more to do. I think for a lot of my life I was super negative and “realistic” about everything to an extent that was just obnoxious and honestly quite detrimental. College was a hard time for me and the second I got out and had some more time for me, I made a lot of switches that I think were really important. I started prioritizing me a lot. I meditated, I learned to cook, and I got out of my comfort zone to make friends in a new location. I felt like I made a full 180 from how I was prior to that. I definitely think I’ve done a good job of recognizing areas I can do better in, evaluating my behaviors towards loved ones and trying to break annoying habits, and just trying to be a better person while also accepting that I can’t be perfect. I still struggle a lot with many things, one of them being that I’m definitely a people-pleaser and this has been the TOUGHEST cycle to break out of. I struggle with setting boundaries and need to do better.

Home Environment - 6/10 - A few months ago I would have listed this as a 10. Living with my ex was possibly the best living situation I’ve been in except we had 8 pets and it was always dirty and I felt like being in that environment made me feel less motivated. When I finally moved into my new place I had a place I loved to call home and be at and I was so relaxed. When my roommates moved in I went back to feeling like I don’t really have a space just for me. Being at home doesn’t really feel relaxing anymore because I feel like people are always trying to talk to me or hang out with me (which isn’t a bad thing but I definitely value some peace and quiet here and there). I find myself going to hang out in coffee shops and things after work just so I have a chance to sit and work on personal projects on my own. And I really just want to be at home with my cats.

Social life - 9/10 - I moved to Phoenix by myself after college and knew no one and was always afraid to talk to anyone. But slowly I started making work friends and before I knew it I ended up with a circle of the best people I’ve ever known. Later, some of my other friends ended up moving out here too so I just feel constantly surrounded by friends and I love it. Everyone comments on how I’m such a social butterfly even though I still totally feel like an introvert lol. But I must admit I have more social plans than possibly anyone I know and I spend a lot of time planning fun events and hanging out with people. And I LOVE that about my life.

creativity - 2/10 - This is something I constantly feel like I lack. I know my imagination is somewhere in here but sometimes I just can’t seem to tap into it. I’ve always been such a science/math-oriented person. I definitely suffer from engineer-brain. I try to have some creative hobbies but I have a hard time sticking to anything. I would LOVE to continue learning to sew. I’m terrible at it but I totally feel like I could design some cute clothes. I always get fun ideas but I’m just so bad at it.

Joy - 9/10 - For someone who definitely has anxiety and depression, I do a really good job at really letting myself experience joy. I appreciate the opportunities that I have and I always prioritize fun things. I love concerts, I love socializing, I love food. I make sure to make sure I am giving myself all those things in an amount that feels satisfying. I am lucky to have a lot of laughter and love in my life.

Spirituality/ inner peace - 3/10 - I think this is another category that fluctuates. I grew up in a religious family and used to associate spirituality with religion. After a long time I realized I really didn’t want to continue my life as a religious person and I didn’t feel like I had any source of spirituality at all. Over time I started getting more into a place where I was comfortable delving into other kinds of spirituality. But I definitely think this is an area I’d really like to grow in because I love to feel connections with things, especially in nature but living in a big city and being so busy all the time, it’s definitely hard to feel connected to that side of things. Plus, I often feel like I can’t go out into nature if I’m by myself because it rarely feels safe, so a lot of times I feel like I’m missing out on the opportunity to be in nature because I don’t have anyone that I also think will want to go do those things with me. I think there’s probably a happy medium somewhere where I can find some safe spots to go to by myself to feel connected and peaceful and I think that would really benefit me a lot.

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rockandrollstorytime · 4 years

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Rock and Roll Storytime #9: The Decline and Death of Brian Jones

I’ve probably made it no secret that I have a freaky-ass memory throughout the course of this series, and this won’t be an exception. Aside from many of the exact dates, I can remember exactly how I got obsessed with Brian Jones.

It started in May 2019 while I was goofing off in art class. I was trying to write about the 27 Club, being obsessed with Kurt Cobain at the time, when I found myself captivated by a certain other blonde in the club.

I don’t know what kept me around. Maybe it was the delicate features framed by silky blond hair. Maybe it was the complicated story of his life. Maybe it was his mysterious death, and my drive to find out what really happened. Or maybe it was that shitty movie they made about him in 2005.

Whatever the reason, I stuck around. I’ll even put it this way: “Came for the morbidity stayed for the music. “

Let’s start at the beginning, shall we?

It took me about a week or two to come up with my first theory between wondering what the hell I was getting myself into and trying to decide whether I should watch Stoned. I found out very early on that Brian had developed asthma at the age of four after a bout of croup. Knowing that asthma attacks can result in death, I didn’t think it unlikely that Brian could have drowned as a result of an asthma attack. In my research, I found an article stating that chlorine mixing with organic material can trigger symptoms of asthma attacks and allergic reactions.

I knew I’d need more evidence though but given that I didn’t want to be too intrusive this early on, that would be a slow process. If there was one thing I held on to, it was my firm resolute to not fall for another murder conspiracy so soon. It didn’t end so well for me the last time.

As I was trying to piece together what exactly happened to Brian Jones, I was also beginning to find out the story of how he got to that point in the first place.

There are many reasons I have love-hate relationships with Mick Jagger and Keith Richards, and their treatment of Brian Jones is by far the biggest one.

Where the story of Brian Jones’ decline really starts is at the Ealing Club on 7 April 1962. It was here that a young Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, and Dick Taylor saw Brian “Elmo Lewis” Jones take the stage for the first time. The next month, Brian put an ad in the papers for musicians to come join a band he was starting. He quickly brought together Ian Stewart, Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, Dick Taylor, and Tony Chapman. The band, which Brian dubbed “The Rollin’ Stones,” gave their first performance on 12 July 1962, though there seems to be some confusion over who was playing drums that night. Bill Wyman replaced Dick Taylor on 7 December 1962, and Charlie Watts replaced Tony Chapman on 9 January 1963.

In the early days, Brian served as the Stones’ manager. It ended up being this very thing that led to the first cracks in this fortuitous partnership.

First thing’s first, Andrew Loog Oldham came along, and in May, he became the Stones’ manager. He only really had eyes for Mick and was one of the ones who led the subsequent whispering campaign against Brian. Not helping anything was when, on 13 October 1963, the others found out that Brian had been paying himself an extra £5 ($5.58). These were expenses he deducted because he believed that should be his pay, considering he was doing much of the work at this time. (I can sort of relate; I’ve suffered through high school group projects).

On the economics side (lord knows, that’s more Mick’s thing than mine), Bill Wyman has since stated that the Stones were making £193 ($215.38) a week. Adjusting for inflation, Brian was deducting roughly £87.26 out of £3,608.53. For the Americans in the crowd, that’s roughly $114.20 out of $4,722.66, once adjusted for inflation. Granted, across the board, that’s roughly 2.5% of the band’s total income at this point. Still, even that much might matter when you’re a bunch of starving artists.

When Paul Trynka summarized why everybody was pissed in his book, Brian Jones: The Making of the Rolling Stones, he said that for Mick, it was because he was a student at the London School of Economics. Five pounds is five pounds. Meanwhile, Keith was pissed because he, like everyone else in the band, was under the impression that they were earning equal pay in this group effort.

Pro-tip: If you start a band and feel you should be paid more because of how much of the work you’re doing, please disclose this with your band and work out an arrangement that will be beneficial to everyone. Otherwise, shit gets ugly.

Brian also didn’t help his case by insisting on staying in fancier hotels than the others (he was a bit of a neat-freak and a narcissist).

Keith later said, “He had an arrangement with (Eric) Easton, that as leader of the band he was entitled to this extra payment. Everybody freaked out. That was the beginning of the decline of Brian. We said, ‘Fuck you…’”

Meanwhile, Ian Stewart (who had been ousted from the band earlier that year) stated, “When we started playing outside London, Brian said, ‘I’m the leader of the group and I think I’ll stay at the best hotel. All the rest of you can stay in a cheaper hotel.’ Of course, the rest of the Stones just laughed at him, and that was it from then on. It was all over for him as the leader. He started to isolate himself because of this attitude.”

With one little five-pound note (and an ego trip), Brian had set in motion his entire downfall.

It might seem petty to myself and plenty of other Brian Jones fans, but lord knows, I’m not Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, or Andrew Loog Oldham. Besides, I have no idea how I’ll feel about all this in five years.

Meanwhile, I must confess that I almost did fall into that mindset of believing Brian was murdered. In June 2019, I was in Paris, on a trip across France led by my French teacher. Somewhere between trying not to lose my mind in a big city and taking awkward selfies at Jim Morrison’s grave, I, being overly chatty, started talking to one of my peers about music-related topics. I told her Brian’s entire life story as I understood it at that time, having been obsessed with him for a little over a month at that point. In my haste though, I unintentionally managed to convince her that Brian had been murdered. Despite not meaning to, I did end up entertaining the possibility, both for her and myself, for at least the rest of the night.

Besides, at the time, I was drawing blanks in trying to find hard evidence that Brian wasn’t murdered. I had one (water-logged) book saying he wasn’t, and a (shitty) movie and another book saying he was.

And then, at some point, I regained my senses, and not because of how ridiculous Brian’s death was when depicted in the movie Stoned. (For fuck’s sake, there was a shooting star in the sky at the moment of his death and he showed up as a ghost in the last five minutes). It really had everything to do with how much I regretted believing Kurt Cobain had been murdered.

I once again gathered my resolve and decided to go back on the hunt for more clues.

The second part of Brian Jones’ decline undoubtedly involves his tempestuous relationship with German-Italian actress Anita Pallenberg. The two started dating after a Rolling Stones concert in Munich on 14 September 1965 and developed a close bond, thanks in part to Brian’s ability to speak German. She gave him the confidence he needed to go against Mick and Keith and helped him become the fashion icon he is still remembered as today.

The Who’s Pete Townshend later had this to say: “We hung out a lot from about 1964 to 1966. Part of the time he was seeing Anita Pallenberg. She was a stunning creature. I mean literally stunning. It was quite hard to maintain one’s gaze. One time in Paris I remember they took some drug and were so sexually stimulated they could hardly wait for me to leave the room before starting to shag. I felt Brian was living on a higher plane of decadence than anyone I would ever meet.”

However, their relationship was also highly abusive. They would verbally and physically abuse each other. In fact, one time, Brian broke his wrist while the two were on a trip in Tangier. Though Brian said it was the result of an accident, Christopher Gibbs and Bill Wyman have both stated that it resulted from an altercation with Anita (though sources vary about whether he broke his wrist on a metal window frame or her face).

Of their relationship, Keith had this to say, “I would hear the thumping some nights, and Brian would come out with a black eye. Brian was a woman beater. But the one woman in the world you did not want to try and beat up on was Anita Pallenberg. Every time they had a fight, Brian would come out bandaged and bruised.”

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I’d go so far as to say that the one good thing that came out of their relationship was the fact that Brian composed the soundtrack for her movie Mord Und Totschlag (A Degree of Murder).

As I’ve previously written about, when Mick and Keith were charged with drug possession in February 1967, lawyers told the Glimmer Triplets (Mick, Keith, and Brian) that since they were the most visible of the Stones, they should leave the country. So, Brian and Anita left Britain, heading for Morocco. However, Brian was already in no condition to travel, and he fell ill with pneumonia in Toulouse. He ended up spending a few days there (including his 25th birthday), while Keith and Anita met up in Tangier. There, she started an affair with Keith behind Brian’s back (Keith even confirmed in his autobiography that she made the first move).

When Brian finally arrived, he could tell that there was something going on between Keith and Anita. Keith was apparently shy around girls at this stage in his life but was more confident around Anita. Meanwhile, Anita was now a bit more open around Keith. Not much is certain about what happened next. What is known is that Brian paid for the services of two prostitutes and that there was an incident between him and Anita that night. Keith said that he threw food at her and humiliated her. Bill claimed that he beat her to the point where she was scared for her life. The less said about Stoned, the better.

Regardless, whatever Brian’s actions really were, it was over between him and Anita. Keith convinced her that if they didn’t get the hell out of there, Brian might try and kill her. The next day, Mick, Keith, and Anita fled Morocco, leaving Brian stranded for the next two days.

Brian’s father later blamed his son’s downward spiral on Anita breaking his heart. Others, such as Linda Lawrence, suggest that it was Mick and Keith’s betrayal that hurt him far more than Anita’s.

In either case, he never really forgave Keith. Beyond that, his drug and alcohol consumption only worsened.

This part of the Stones’ history is… tricky. Of course, I can’t condone Brian for his behaviour, but Keith, and especially Anita weren’t entirely in the right in this situation. Ultimately, Keith and Anita stayed together until 1980 and had three children (one of whom unfortunately died in infancy). Besides, I understand Keith’s actions the most out of everyone, given that he had a noble intent in getting Anita away from Brian’s increasingly toxic behaviour. Of course, it’s also important to note that Brian and Anita were 25 and 24 respectively at the time of this incident, and beyond that, they were young and impulsive, with unfortunately predictable results, given that they both could be volatile.

I may have an infatuation with Brian, but sometimes, something’s got to give.

Fifty-two years after that clusterfuck, I was continuing my research into the life of L. B. H. Jones as the fiftieth anniversary of his death came and went. A week or two later, I decided, despite some reservations, to get Bill Wyman’s book, Stone Alone.

Say what you will about Bill (I know at some point I’ll be commenting about the travesty that was his relationship with Mandy Smith), but I figured that if I wanted to know about the early Rolling Stones, he’d be one of my best sources. At the very least, he’s the only one who’s given Brian any sort of credit for his accomplishments instead of solely focusing on his failures like Keith tends to do. As I was flipping through random pages, I learned that Bill had written about one of Brian’s many illegitimate children. He called her “Carol,” for the sake of anonymity, and in it, he discussed the matter of her being diagnosed with temporal lobe epilepsy. She and Bill even applied some of her symptoms to things Bill observed when he was with Brian. In that one instant, what happened to Brian the night he drowned seemed to make perfect sense.

One of the things that had made putting the clues together so difficult from the very start was that Brian had punctate haemorrhages (tiny bleeds normally found in shaken baby syndrome) in his brain, which indicated that he’d been thrashing around quite a bit in his final moments.

Temporal lobe epilepsy can’t be cured, but it is manageable to a degree with medications. Brian, however, was never diagnosed, which is why we can’t be certain that he had epilepsy. There is no doubt in my mind that if Brian did have epilepsy, it would’ve gotten worse over time, given that Brian received no treatment. Carol speculated that Brian likely chalked up many of his symptoms to being hungover. Even then, he might not have realized that something was happening with his brain.

While I was typing up my theories though, I remembered that I’d found his toxicology report not long beforehand. As I read it, I found out that the drug that was in his system was likely Mandrax, which he had been prescribed in the days before he died. When I looked up Mandrax, I discovered that it was a brand name for Quaaludes. It can cause mental confusion, ataxia, seizures, and impaired decision-making, among other negative side-effects. The impaired judgment would explain why Brian decided it’d be a great idea to go swimming after he’d had sleeping pills and alcohol…

I still didn’t consider my work done, but this was the closest I’d come to having answers yet.

Speaking of Brian and drug abuse, the third key to understanding what happened to Brian, is to look at his two drug convictions.

However, I already talked about this (quite recently too), so I’ll try and keep this section brief.

As Mick and Keith were formally charged with drug possession on 10 May 1967, Brian found his home being raided by police. Although he’d been tipped off about their arrival, they still managed to find a handbag with cannabis in it, as well as methamphetamines and cocaine. It could be argued that the evidence was planted, but there is no way to prove this. In court, Brian confessed to doing cannabis but denied doing anything stronger (even though there’s pictures of him tripping on LSD early in 1967). The Stones’ new manager, Allen Klein, told him to stay away from the other Stones. However, this had the effect of further isolating Brian when he needed his bandmates the most.

On 30 October 1967, Brian was sentenced to three months in prison for cannabis possession and another nine months for allowing cannabis to be smoked in his home. He was additionally fined. After a rough night in prison, he was released the next day, awaiting appeal, though he was left shaken by that experience.

On 12 December, Brian went to appeals court, where his psychologist argued that Brian would become suicidal if he went to prison. Brian was sentenced to three years’ probation and ordered by the courts to seek professional help.

Lord knows, at this point, Brian might have been making an honest-to-God effort to get off drugs, but on 21 May 1968, police raided his house again. This time, they found cannabis hidden away in a ball of wool in the process. This usually inspires more impassioned arguments from Brian Jones fans that the evidence was planted. Brian himself said that he would swear until the day he died that he didn’t commit this second offense. Because he was still on probation at the time of this second arrest, he was facing a long jail sentence if found guilty.

On 26 September, Brian was found guilty of drug possession for the second time. However, the same judge who sentenced him to a year in prison the first time took pity on him. Instead, he fined Brian and gave him a stern warning to not show up in court again.

As you can see with the attached pictures though, the trials only helped speed up Brian’s downward spiral, and he shut down mentally.

Honestly, I think the trials are a large part of the reason Brian went downhill as fast as he did.

Meanwhile, back in the present day, it was September now, and I was starting to get into the swing of being a full-time college student. While I was procrastinating, as usual, I was messing about on Google and I happened upon Brian’s autopsy report. Fact about me: this was far from my first time reading either autopsy reports or death certificates, so I decided to give it a look. After all, I could understand quite a bit of the medical jargon, which I blame on the fact that I loved reading medical books in elementary school. Couldn’t hurt, right?

Was the report perfunctory? Yes. Were there mistakes? A few that stood out, such as Brian’s height being given as 5′9″ when he was 5′6″, and his age being listed as twenty-six as opposed to twenty-seven.

However, that report did reinforce my most recent conclusions that Brian had overdosed on sleeping pills, which was exacerbated by alcohol.

I knew now that Mandrax had once been prescribed to treat anxiety and insomnia, which Brian likely suffered from following the stress of two drug trials that both resulted in convictions. This was also a time before doctors realized the addictive properties of Quaaludes. For all I know, Brian might not have been keeping the best track of how many pills he was taking (which is also how Keith Moon died).

Going back to the long, sordid story of Brian’s collapse, the fourth major reason he found himself being kicked out of the band he founded was that he stopped contributing to the Stones’ music.

In the documentary Crossfire Hurricane, Mick stated, “You certainly didn’t know if he was going to turn up and what state he was going to be in and then, what he was going to be able to do in that state. What job could you give him? And then, one time, when we sat around, on the floor, we played, in a circle, playing “No Expectations”. And he picked the guitar and played a very pretty line on it which you can hear on the record. And that was the last thing I remember him doing that was Brian. Or, the Brian that could contribute something very pretty and sensitive and it made the record sound wonderful.”

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Some people have compared Brian to someone who wants to quit but doesn’t want a confrontation (Brian, believe it or not, wasn’t exactly keen on confrontation). Instead, he puts in the smallest effort he can, if that. In fact, Brian had wanted to leave in 1967, but Mick convinced him to stay.

Perhaps Brian’s fate might have been different if he’d gone with his gut in 1967.

Brian still contributed to much of Beggars Banquet. By 1969 though, it seems as if he’d completely given up on the band he’d founded. He stopped showing up to the studio, and if he did come, he’d be too intoxicated to play. In fact, there were points where Mick and Keith would turn off his amp, if not tell him to just go home. It got to the point where he (barely) appears on two songs on Let It Bleed: “Midnight Rambler” and “You’ve Got the Silver.”

Frequent Stones collaborator Jack Nitzsche later said “Brian came up to me, looking pretty shaky, and asked me what I thought he should do- he didn’t know where he fit[ted] in. I told him to just pick up a guitar and start playing. Then he walked over to Mick and asked, ‘What should I play?’ Mick told him, ‘You’re a member of the band, Brian, play whatever you want.’ So he played something, but Mick stopped him and said, ‘No, Brian, not that- that’s no good.’ So Brian asked him again what to play and Mick told him again to play whatever he wanted. So Brian played something else, but Mick cut him off again- ‘No, that’s no good either, Brian.’”

Marianne Faithfull, Mick’s girlfriend at the time, told a friend that Brian had sent Mick several letters over a period of several weeks while Mick was away. One that she’d opened said “Please let me come back in. I’ll play bongos, anything, but please let me come back in.”

…I need a moment to recollect myself.

Some fifty years later, I was still trying to make it through my first semester of college. I got myself a book about the 27 Club, figuring there might be something that would aid me in my research. There, I learned that, reportedly, Brian had not only been taking Mandrax, but also Piriton (hay fever medication), black bombers (which had been prescribed to him a mere ten days before he died), and Valium. That’s on top of an inhaler that would later be found to cause heart palpitations.

A couple of months later, I decided to look up the side-effects of every drug that Brian had ever taken, be it proven fact or allegation. That part of my research isn’t quite finished yet, but what I’ve found with the five medications that Brian was taking around the time of his death proved to be particularly shocking.

For the sake of brevity, I can’t list every side-effect. What I did notice is that some included side-effects of tachycardia/bradycardia, confusion, loss of coordination, impaired decision making, hyperactivity, seizures, and stomach problems. Some, like the uncoordinated behaviour, were noted by those who were there, such as Janet Lawson, who realized that Brian had taken sleeping pills that night, based on him muttering that he’d taken “sleepers”. Others could be a no-brainer, given that Brian had an enlarged heart and liver, in addition to suffering from bronchial troubles and pleurisy.

My immediate thought was, “Jesus, Brian, what the hell were you doing to yourself?”

And now for the final part of Brian’s story: the last twenty-five days of his life.

The Stones wanted to go on tour again, this being their first in two years. Due to Brian’s convictions, Stones management discovered that he probably wouldn’t be able to receive a work visa in the U.S. On 8 June 1969, Mick and Keith drove down to Cotchford Farm to tell Brian that he was fired. They brought Charlie along in case Brian decided to put up a fight. However, Brian agreed to back out gracefully, possibly knowing that he’d burned too many bridges at this point. The next day, Brian released a statement, which painted the decision to leave as being his own. He capped it off with “We had a friendly meeting and agreed that an amicable termination, temporary or permanent, was the only answer. The only solution was to go our separate ways, but we shall still remain friends. I love those fellows.”

As I’ve said though, how Brian truly felt about this turn of events will forever remain a mystery.

In the days before he died, it has been suggested by those close to him that Brian was planning on starting another band. Some believe he was going to bring in Jimi Hendrix and John Lennon. Jimi’s camp has since denied that Brian ever approached Jimi. There are also lingering questions regarding whether Brian had given up hard drugs or if he was still taking them. I doubt the latter, considering the well-documented stress of the drug trials.

The picture above was taken nine days before Brian died. Honestly, I do believe there was still some hope for Brian (I can even see it in his eyes). Whether he would’ve recovered or not and whether he’d still be alive today will forever remain up to conjecture, as that’s another possibility that followed Brian to the grave.

Wednesday, 2 July 1969 was host to hot, muggy weather that exacerbated Brian’s asthma. He spent his last day alive with at least three people: Anna Wohlin, his 22-year-old, Swedish girlfriend, Janet Lawson, a registered nurse who was dating Stones minder Tom Keylock, and Frank Thorogood, a 43-year-old builder who’d been doing work on Brian’s property at the time.

Details of Brian’s final day are sketchy, and there are some disagreements over what exactly the people involved did throughout the day. For example, there are disagreements about whether they watched television or not. Some would argue that this is clear evidence that Brian was murdered. I would posit that three of the four parties involved had been drinking. Even if everyone was sober, in a situation such as this, human memory can be extremely unreliable. For example, hundreds of witnesses were interviewed on the night Abraham Lincoln was assassinated, but no two accounts are alike. What we know had to be stitched together from witness accounts in which everyone claimed to have seen or heard something different.

What seems to be the most agreed-upon version of Brian’s death is that he decided to go swimming. Anna was reluctant and had to be persuaded to join in. Janet, the only sober person among the group, decided against swimming, most likely to keep an eye out for everyone else. Janet said in her witness report (recorded on the morning of July 3, 1969) that she strongly felt that Frank and Brian were in no condition to swim. She also recalled that Brian had great difficulty in standing on the diving board, being helped not-so-successfully by Frank. Even after that, his movements in the water seemed sluggish.

I don’t know, but if that were me, I would’ve called emergency services right there and then.

According to Janet, Anna was the first to return to the house, followed by Frank about ten minutes later. When Janet next went out to check on Brian sometime around midnight, she found him face-down in the deep end, and “immediately sensed the worst.”

She ran back to the house to get Frank and Anna, and with their help, got Brian out of the pool. She immediately began resuscitative efforts, despite knowing Brian was already dead. Anna later claimed that she felt Brian’s hand briefly grip hers. However, when paramedics arrived, they pronounced Brian dead in the early morning hours of 3 July 1969.

Brian’s official cause of death was given as drowning by immersion in fresh water, partly as a result of liver damage and the ingestion of drugs and alcohol. To be precise, 1,720 micro-gms of an “amphetamine-like substance” and the alcohol equivalent of three-and-a-half pints of beer were found in Brian’s system.

In short, it was death by misadventure.

As seems to be the case when a young celebrity dies under tragic circumstances, conspiracy theories have since risen regarding Brian’s death. The following list is taken from Paul Trynka’s book. For the sake of brevity (such as it is), some of these will be combined into one section.

1. The most predominant of these theories states that Frank Thorogood drowned Brian. Whether it was second-degree murder or manslaughter as a result of rough horseplay will usually vary between sources. Brian reportedly asked Janet to get his inhaler shortly before his death. The story then goes on to state that Frank drowned Brian and participated little in the efforts to save Brian’s life. It should be noted that Janet did state in her original testimony that she’d asked him to call emergency services.

The main reason people will give about why they believe that Brian was murdered is that Tom Keylock claimed to have heard Frank confess on his deathbed to the murder. However, Frank’s daughter, Jan Bell, has denied that such an exchange could have happened. There was never a point where Keylock had spent any time alone with her father. Furthermore, he’d only been admitted with a respiratory problem, and thus could not have known that he was on his deathbed. She also claimed that on the morning of Brian’s death, Frank saw an argument between Mick, Keith, and Brian over the name “Rolling Stones.” During the fight, Keith allegedly pulled a knife on Brian. If this did happen, it was likely earlier in the year.

In addition, Janet and Anna have since claimed that Brian was murdered. Janet later claimed that much of her original testimony was suggested to her by investigating officers and that Tom told her to hide the fact that she was his girlfriend. Anna claimed that she was spirited back to Sweden in the immediate aftermath of Brian’s death, where she allegedly miscarried Brian’s child. One of Anna’s friends later said that her belief that Brian had been murdered was a recent development. It’s also notable that neither witness came forward until after Frank died. Many of Anna’s recollections about Brian, such as him being focused on music are also contradicted by others who were close to Brian at the time.

Keith later said, “I knew Frank Thorogood, who made a ‘deathbed confession’ that he’d killed Brian Jones by drowning him in the swimming pool, where Brian’s body was found some minutes after other people had seen him alive. But I’m always wary of deathbed confessions because the only person there is the person he’s supposed to have said it to, some uncle, daughter, or whatever. ‘On his deathbed he said he killed Brian.’ Whether he did or not I don’t know. Brian had bad asthma and he was taking Quaaludes and Tuinals, which are not the best things to dive under water on. Very easy to choke on that stuff. He was heavily sedated. He had a high tolerance for drugs, I’ll give him that. But weigh that against the coroner’s report, which showed that he was suffering from pleurisy, an enlarged heart, and a diseased liver. Still, I can imagine the scenario of Brian being so obnoxious to Thorogood and the building crew he had working on Brian’s house that they were just pissing around with him. He went under and didn’t come up. But when somebody says, ‘I did Brian,’ at the very most I’d put it down to manslaughter. All right, you may have pushed him under, but you weren’t there to murder him. He pissed off the builders, whining son of a bitch. It wouldn’t have mattered if the builders were there or not, he was at that point in his life when there wasn’t any.”

(You’re telling me he can apologize for telling Mick to get a vasectomy, but not for even a fraction of the shit he’s said about Brian?)

In 2005, this version of events was turned into the appalling movie Stoned, which featured Tom Keylock as an adviser and was based on claims made by Janet Lawson and Anna Wohlin. The director, Stephen Wooley, claimed to have researched the material for this story over a period of ten years. Really, it feels less like ten years of research, and more like one week. From what I could tell, it did seem that Brian’s death was manslaughter, but honestly, it was too confusing. Frank seemed damn determined to drown Brian in that moment. The movie (quite literally) drowned on arrival.

2. In 1983, Nicholas Fitzgerald wrote Brian Jones: The Inside Story of a Rolling Stone. In it, he claimed to have been a close friend of Brian Jones (his cousin, Tara Browne, actually was a close friend of Brian’s). Not only that, but he claimed to have seen Brian’s “murder.” He claimed that he and 19-year-old Richard Cadbury (who passed away before the story came out) visited Brian at Cotchford Farm the day he died. Allegedly, Brian told Fitzgerald all about his plans to start up a supergroup with John Lennon and Jimi Hendrix, saying “Don’t say anything… it could be dangerous!”

(As keen as I am about the idea of John Lennon, Jimi Hendrix, and Brian Jones being in the same band, you can probably tell that I think this story is a load of bullshit.)

After Fitzgerald and his friend visited a pub, they returned to Cotchford Farm at about 11:15 PM, leaving their car some distance from the house. (Keep in mind, the coroner said that Brian died somewhere between 11:30 PM and 12:00 AM). There, he and his friend saw three men holding Brian under the water, whilst two other people stood by. Suddenly, a man, likely Keylock, jumped out of the bushes and told Fitzgerald to scram, lest he be next.

He refused to give a formal statement to the police. What I don’t think the dumb fuck was counting on was that police would investigate his ass, considering that withholding information could’ve resulted in him being charged with being an accessory to murder after the fact. The police determined that the evidence Fitzgerald gave was “bizarre, full of unverifiable claims that, he, too, had escaped murder attempts, that Cadbury might have been involved with the murderers, and that Cadbury, too, had died ‘in mysterious circumstances”. Detective Chief Superintendent J. F. Reece summarized it best when he said that Fitzgerald was a “Walter Mitty type person” and that he’d come up with the allegations to promote his book. In fact, the book itself had even more ludicrous allegations, such as how Tom Keylock had overseen the whole thing. It got to the point where Eddie Kramer called the story “silly.” John Lennon, meanwhile, believed that Brian was another victim of the drugs scene, and even dreaded him coming on the phone (another reason I don’t believe the supergroup was in the cards for Brian’s future, regardless). Also, Fitzgerald mostly relied on the testimony of those who had already passed away, such as Suki Potier, one of Brian’s girlfriends, who died in a car crash along with her husband in 1981. One of the few living witnesses Fitzgerald claimed to have run into, James Phelge, denied ever having met him.

Also, pro-tip, if you’re going to claim to have been a close friend of someone you’re claiming was murdered, don’t sell your story to the tabloid that got him busted for drug possession. Just saying.

3. In 1990, A. E. Hotchner published Blown Away: The Rolling Stones and the Death of the Sixties. In it, he claimed that Brian’s childhood friend, Dick Hattrell, and a random Cockney named "Marty” had knowledge that Brian was murdered. He claimed that Rich (sounds better to me than Dick) visited Brian shortly before he died and became worried about him. Later, he bumped into someone who claimed to have witnessed Brian’s murder. Marty claimed to have witnessed the murder, claiming that two other women were there, including Linda Lawrence (mother of one of Brian’s sons) who was spirited out of the country following Brian’s death.

In reality, she last saw Brian in 1968.

Similarly, Hattrell has since stated that the story was nonsense; he never visited Brian at Cotchford, and he never said Brian was murdered. Marty has since kept his mouth shut.

Really, it just doesn’t hold up when closely scrutinized.

4. David Gibson claimed to the Brighton Evening Argus that, while he was fitting carpets at Brian’s home, Brian and Anna were absent throughout the better part of the day. When they returned later in the evening, Brian begged Gibson not to leave. Gibson, meanwhile, believed Brian had been murdered and that Tom Keylock was responsible. Some, like Sam Cutler, claim that Gibson saw Princess Margaret at Cotchford Farm, which has led to speculation that Brian was killed to protect her reputation. Gibson never went to the police, and probably believed that he’d been subject to threats and murder attempts. However, aside from Brian’s paranoia and belief that someone was out to get him, Gibson’s story doesn’t line up with many of the other conspiracy theories.

5. Geoffrey Giuliano in his 1994 book Paint It Black claimed that a man named “Joe” said that he’d held Brian’s head under the water for shits and giggles (not something one would normally do for shits and giggles). The thing is though, Giuliano’s book largely recycled content from previous books on the subject, and beyond that, made elementary mistakes, such as claiming that Frank had fled the scene, when in reality, he was there when police officer Albert Evans arrived at about 12:10 AM. It was later found that the tape he’d sourced some of this information from was a fake, made for American radio programmes in New York.

6. Given that Tom Keylock was a bit of a dishonest/disliked character in life, it should come as no surprise that some of the theories focus on him too. In 2009, Sam Cutler claimed that after Brian’s death, Allen Klein (himself a sleazeball) hired some PI’s to investigate Brian’s death and that they’d discovered that Tom was responsible. While Tom did try to pin the blame on Frank and told Janet to conceal her relationship with him, and it is known that he apparently stole some of Brian’s belongings after he died, that does not make one a murderer. It’ll certainly make him a slimeball, but that doesn’t mean he’s a murderer. Meanwhile, in 2013, Cutler claimed confusion as to whether the Klein report even existed. I think at this point, it’s safe to call it a hoax.

In addition, while it is more likely that Tom would have been the murderer instead of Frank, he does have a rather rock-solid alibi in that he was at Olympic Studios and was the one who received the call that Brian had died. Really, any theories that try to say he masterminded a huge plot to have Brian killed and make it appear as an accident tend to raise more questions than it answers.

Let’s all make no mistake though, the police did jump to conclusions rather quickly, there are several obvious mistakes in the autopsy findings, and not to mention, police failed to control the area, which is likely how Tom was able to steal Brian’s belongings and possibly have some destroyed.

Meanwhile, I myself believe that Brian’s death was accidental. Likely, it was the result of a cocktail of prescription medications, alcohol consumption, maybe a side-effect or two resulting from that, and possibly even heart failure or liver disease. Perhaps Brian fainted (which, I honestly hope for, given how painful it is to drown), and with no one around to notice his plight, he quietly slipped away.

I know there’s no way to prove this, given that the police don’t have a good reason to dig up Brian’s bones and it’s probably far too late for a second toxicology report, but given the available evidence I’ve been able to find, I believe this is the most likely version of events.

Truly, a sad ending for a man, who didn’t even have a chance to get back on his feet before fate (and a lifetime of drug/alcohol abuse) intervened.

Whenever I read about Brian’s life story, I always find myself interested by the mistakes, intrigue, and betrayal that seemed to plague Brian’s life from the outset. There are a multitude of what-ifs that honestly make this tale haunting, such as what might’ve happened had Mick and Keith not bullied Brian so severely. There’s also what might have happened if both the Stones and the authorities had better understood the effects of drug use and had the resources and compassion to better deal with Brian’s situation. Most hauntingly, there’s the question of what might’ve happened had someone been near Brian in his final moments and had the opportunity to save him.

I think the biggest reason I keep coming back to his story is that his life as a whole was very conflicting. It honestly inspires both condemnation and sympathy/pity, even in me.

Even if Mick and Keith would rather forget that Brian was ever a part of their band, it is my honest belief that people will continue to discover Brian Jones, whether it be through the 27 Club or through some other means, and I hope that they take the time to learn his story.

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Sources/Further Reading: https://www.drugs.com/illicit/quaaludes.html https://asthma.net/living/swimming-pools-triggers/ https://www.drugs.com/sfx/ergotamine-side-effects.html https://www.drugs.com/sfx/valium-side-effects.html https://www.drugs.com/sfx/amphetamine-side-effects.html https://www.drugs.com/sfx/chlorpheniramine-side-effects.html Stone Alone by Bill Wyman Brian Jones: The Making of the Rolling Stones by Paul Trynka Brian Jones: The Untold Life and Mysterious Death of a Rock Legend by Laura Jackson https://clearcomfort.com/why-asthma-allergy-sufferers-should-avoid-chlorine-pools/ http://timeisonourside.com/chron1967.html http://timeisonourside.com/chron1969.html http://www.timeisonourside.com/chron1963.html http://www.timeisonourside.com/chron1962.html https://www.inflationtool.com/british-pound/1963-to-present-value?amount=5 https://people.com/music/anita-pallenberg-rolling-stones-keith-richards-brian-jones-love-triangle/ https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-lists/the-27-club-a-brief-history-17853/ https://ultimateclassicrock.com/brian-jones-found-dead/ https://www.denofgeek.com/us/culture/music/281978/the-rolling-stones-and-the-mystery-of-brian-jones-death https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/brian-jones-sympathy-for-the-devil-182761/ https://www.mojo4music.com/articles/15989/brian-jones-it-was-murder https://ultimateclassicrock.com/brian-jones-murdered/ https://www.udiscovermusic.com/stories/just-why-was-brian-jones-so-important-to-the-rolling-stones/ https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/obituary-brian-jones-189861/ https://www.oxfordtreatment.com/prescription-drug-abuse/tuinal/

#brian jones #the rolling stones #mick jagger #keith richards #charlie watts #bill wyman #ian stewart #this got long #but i felt i should explain all of this in one go #rock and roll #cw: death #cw: drugs #cw: domestic abuse #cw: drowning #man brian's life was a bit of a clusterfuck

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loveraids · 6 years

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advice for incoming freshmen

hey guys! here’s a list of some tips i made for incoming freshmen. i thought i’d share some advice/knowledge i’ve accumulated over the years too. everything’s under the cut. if you have any questions/concerns, feel free to message me! ☀️ (tw: long post)

1. one of the biggest fears many people have entering high school is not making friends. however, there are MANY opportunities where you can make friends! besides being friendly with who you sit with in class, try joining a sport, club, extra curricular, etc. i’m not saying making friends is the easiest thing in the world- i still struggle with it today. but don’t put yourself down if you’re not immediately friends with everyone in the school in the first week- it’ll take some time to develop. remember that everyone else is just as scared as you are, and they aren’t gonna come out of their shells until you do as well.

2. depending on your school, they may start throwing college shit at u on day one (although unlikely). no matter what, don’t stress right now!! the college process really doesn’t begin until the weeks leading up to the summer of junior year. you have time!! it’s ok to not know what you want to do. college has an “undecided” major for a reason.

3. V O L U N T E E R. i cannot stress this enough. it has soso many benefits and freshman year will most likely be the most time-free year you have. find a position at your local zoo, library, camp, hospital, etc. it’s a great resume booster and can aid you in the college application process (additionally, if you have an honors society that requires volunteer hours, you’ll need them anyways). also, you get to help people !

4. freshman year is going to teach you what real high school work is. you may struggle, and it’s ok! i was one of the “bright” kids that had their grades drop once i entered high school, and yeah, it did a lot to my self esteem. but throughout the years i picked myself up- i embraced help from my peers/teachers, i figured out what method of studying works best (pro tip: studying for math? look over the basic rules and do thousands of practice problems. science that isn’t math based? quizlet and khan academy. history? quizlet.), i learned that it’s OK to get a grade under a 90/A-. it’s going to seem tough at first, but just remember that you’re adjusting to a completely new environment and work ethic. you will get through it!! please shoot me an ask if you ever need help i’ll always answer. (edit: also do ur homework!!! it could be the difference between a B+ and an A-.)

5. imagine the crustiest person in your grade right now. now imagine them trying to hit on a kid that’s four years younger than you. gross, right? that’s exactly what a senior hitting on a freshman is like!! do not do that shit!!! there is NO reason why a senior should be trying to hook up with you when they’re 17-18 and you’re 14-15. that shit is NASTY. do NOT date seniors (even juniors are sketchy).

6. high school is where you will probably encounter alcohol/drugs/sex/etc at some point. do not be pressured!! if you don’t wanna smoke or drink then don’t do it (if you’re with the type of people who pressure, you better run). ive personally never had an experience where i was pressured, and people were usually respectful, but i can’t speak the same for everyone else. wanna get fucked up and party with your friends? be careful! i’m not promoting underage drinking but lets be honest a lot of kids do it. no sense in trying to pretend like that isn’t the real world. if you’re invited to some party by someone you KNOW has a bad rep, then don’t go!! you’ll have more opportunities.

7. if you’re worried about SATs/college admissions exams, you have a year. kids in my school are kinda crazy and were studying freshman year which made NO sense to me. end of sophomore year/beginning of junior year is usually adequate (plus- the main rule with SATs/ACTs is that you should take the test NO MORE than three times- that’s three chances!! i personally did well on my SAT, so if u have any questions feel free to ask me.

8. back to the point of pressure - if you’re going to a gifted and talented program/school, you will most likely feel academic pressure. with so many bright and smart peers, your standards will end up being much higher than the general population. i’m speaking from experience.

9. student government is usually a popularity contest. if you don’t win, don’t beat yourself up. if you do, congrats!

10. take pictures! save holiday cards! make memories!! i sincerely regret not taking photos (with me in them!!) during my freshman and sophomore years. there are a lot of great memories that i didn’t record because i was too embarrassed to get in front of a camera. i’ve learned that i’d rather cringe at a photo i look bad in in the privacy of my own phone, rather than not have a picture at all.

11. start developing good studying habits right away. what motivated me was getting cute/colorful pens, highlighters, erasers, post-its, etc., and making my notes look really pretty. i have my own personal post-it collection now. if you find ways to make studying even remotely fun/interesting, it will be extremely beneficial in the long run. i remember the summer before my junior year, i was excited to go back literally because i wanted to use my new pens.

12. this is a future piece of advice, but i would say there’s a 99% chance that you will be friends with mostly different people by senior year. you might have a core few, or a bestie, but myself and many others know that there are people who we were best friends with freshman year that don’t say hi to us in the halls senior year.

13. listen, there are gonna be some snake ass bitches. there’s no avoiding it. just don’t pay attention to them!! they get off on thinking they’re better than you. the best way to no longer deal with someone you don’t like is to just not associate with them. i’m obviously over simplifying these situations, but its usually not that deep. if it’s to the point where it’s causing you a great amount of stress, then it may be something you need to talk to a guidance counselor about.

14. please. do. not. run. and scream. in. the. halls. who do u think u are?? it’s 8 AM i don’t want to hear your screeching voice as you run into 7 people!!!!!

15. the freshmen are usually the joke of the school. you’ll hear you guys referred to as gremlins in some way, shape, or form. just deal with it, you’ll understand when you’re no longer freshmen (unless someone’s being unnecessarily mean!!).

16. make friends with your teachers!!!!!!!!! stay after class to have a little conversation with them. email them after school. bring them gifts on major holidays. IT WILL PAY OFF. letters of recommendation? done! need a teacher to sign off on something? done! minorly messed up in class? they’ll let it go bc they like you! this will also probably result in an increase in your character/participation grades.

17. make a travel pack that you keep in your bag - a few small bills, pads/tampons (for those who need), pen, pencil, bobby pins, nail file, hair elastic, gum/mints, small perfume, band-aids, charger, etc.

18. thrift books sells books for really cheap!! also, ALWAYS check other places before ordering from normal bookstores (i’m looking at u barnes & noble)- they’re most likely cheaper.

19. i’m not gonna be one of those people who is like “school is the best!! it can be great for anyone if you just try!!” bc that shit aint true. it might suck ass for some of you. just know that high school isn’t your life. some people act like your life ends after high school. we’re 14-18 years old and still have so much to learn and see. if you set up a countdown to the end of high school your first day of freshman year, so be it.

20. your teachers are people too. they’re not there for you to use and abuse. they have families, problems, LIVES. they also have 3289472 students besides yourself, and assuming they should put you above the rest will only end up in disappointment.

21. social media is not all that matters. esp in this day and age, people will definitely be using snapchat and instagram (and hey! tumblr too). but don’t think you need social media to fit in. one of the most popular girls in my school literally made her instagram just the other day. to reiterate: it’s not that deep!!

22. you’re gonna change a lot (which is ok!!). freshman year i only wore hot topic and watched supernatural & doctor who. now, i just watch cooking vids and fawn over shawn mendes. it’s ok to change!! even just though freshman year you’ll change. i know i got like. super gay

23. if you find yourself having free time (or having study hall), do your homework!!! once you get home you’ll probably get distracted/lazy. what i used to do was go to my local library after school and get all my homework done so that i wouldn’t leave my school mindset and not wanna do anything. even if you don’t get everything done, you’ll thank yourself later.

24. there’s a difference between “forming your own opinion” on someone and completely ignoring their reputation/what your friends say. i can’t tell you how many people have gotten burned by the SAME guy in my school because none of them even kept in mind the warnings they had heard about him. it’s ok to give people a chance, but remember that most people’s reputations hold some truth (but not everyone!).

25. this seems pretty obvious but like. be nice. don’t talk mad shit about people you don’t know. rumors fly FAST in high school. what’s even worse is when they’re not true. fact check your shit if you ARE gonna gossip.

26. ok last point (for now). everything is gonna be new. there’s no getting around it. you WILL feel out of place. you’ll most likely be anxious. but everything will end up ok (cheesy, i know). the first week of high school is one the scariest weeks you’ll have in high school. things need time to settle. you’ll make friends, you’ll find things you like, you’ll be happy!! enter high school with a growth mindset. it may not seem like it, but your attitude WILL impact how things turn out.

overall, you guys will be fine. good luck to all of you !! if you have any questions or need advice on a specific thing, please feel free to send me an ask!! i’m always here. love u bbies

#this is still just as long as my last one but at leats it's cleaner now #feel free to add btw!!#pls rb this lol #high school #tips #freshman #freshmen #hs #advice #incoming freshman #school #studying #studyblr #back to school #Back to school tips

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brexodus · 6 years

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The City is Strange

I think Split was the first big city I'd visited since Torino (Turin) in Italy. I just wasn't ready for it.

You see, I'd been travelling mostly by smaller roads, through smaller places and although, yeah you've got Venice and Mistra and Verona and Trieste (Trst) and Ljubljana and Rijeka (Fiume), none of them compare to Split for size and infrastructure. Verona is too venerable, Mistra you skip for Venice which is unique beyond any comparison, Ljubljana is actually quite compact (they've pedestrianised a lot since 2006), and Rijeka is beyond the nightmares of any sane cyclist. Split has the dubious distinction of all the roads going in being dual carriageway motorways. So I had to risk it and join one of these nightmarish things at the end of my descent, still bit wasted, then after find my hostel.

And of course, beyond the traffic problems and battery issues, the street of the hostel is not properly signposted, it being a weird little kind of stepped cul-de-sac running parallel with the main road to the harbour. I spent a half hour going up and down, till I saw two chaps with bulging rucksacks that screamed backpacker to me. So I stopped and spoke to them and yes, we were all looking for the same place. And eventually we found it together.

In real Slavic style, outside was a small table around which a wee group were casually drinking. The lovely friendly receptionist, Anna, checked me in and I put myself into the mindset of 'let's get unladen, get food, get sleep!' I meant business. However one of the drinking party, an attractive dark-haired woman of perhaps mid to late thirties, took it upon herself to get me to play instead. Damn, I was torn between my head and my hips. Now, people who know me know I have a surfeit of energy which comes from oversized balls (and ego), which can often lead me astray; however in this case, utter fatigue from the previous days' cycling, plus all the booze etc, made me desperate to just finish the chores before I collapsed completely. Also, with this woman becoming ever more handsy, I was more than a little embarrassed as to my state: not having washed or changed my clothes for three days I could smell myself (and it was not good).

Nope, I had to be firm but polite, I had to get shit battened down stowed away, and wash, before I could even consider food, let alone romance! And I doubt she would have been terribly 'romantic', to paraphrase Van Halen: she ain't talking about love, her love was rotten to the core [insert suitable emoticon]

Well, I said I'd be at her disposal just as soon as I'd taken care of everything. Despite it all, I was still just another silly male following the divining rod. Unpacking became a whirlwind of activity, my new friend even lending a hand. Then I went for a nice hot shower, telling her we could go for food together after, and maybe more later.

Well I came out the shower feeling fresh and clean and potent. But my new friend had just disappeared. No-one knew where she'd gone, or even if she was staying at the hostel that night. With hindsight, I think I dodged a bullet, much awkwardness, and a reason to stay any longer than necessary in Split. The whole thing left an impression on me though, I am not used to this kind of upfront 'affection' from the fairer sex, and I have to say I was quite flattered. We Brits (and the French too) are kinda repressed. Or not enough so when we drink: there seems to be no happy medium (or endings), for anybody.

Anyway, that was merely the first weird thing I experienced in Split. I decided to just dress up nice anyways and have a good meal down by the sea. Got a recommendation from helpful Anna at reception and freewheeled down to the port where the restaurant was located. Well, the unsavoury vibe I'd had in Novalja returned. The whole place was packed with every type of western tourist you can imagine, and indeed it follows that the more *ahem* coarse elements seemed to predominate, what with them being louder and more obnoxious. I saw the roads to the harbour jammed with taxis and adverts for '8 day party boats to the Islands', which is a red flag for me (and not the good socialist kind). And everywhere the clamour of clumsy drunken Brits bawling to each other and discussing cocaine and booze supplies from across the street. So crass, especially as I hadn't heard anything like it since Novalja, or seen the like, well ever. I missed the tranquility of an open road, these roads were a honking mass of unhappy metal.

I found my restaurant, and asked nicely for the outside table (to keep an eye on my bike). Well they were kind of ok about it, less than accommodating seeing as I was alone and anglophone. They then asked I move my bike under the table cos it was blocking the pavement. I obliged. And then the food came, oh man. It was slow-cooked beef cheeks in a red wine reduction with mushrooms and caramelised onion, fresh bread and salad on side. With a half-litre of red to accompany. All quite delicious.

But spoilt by the surroundings. As it got later I saw more and more party people who I just was not in the mood for. If only I could've somehow 'muted' not just their voices, but their clothes and 'theatre'. I was rather tired and fed-up, but the good food and fine wine helped. Until the bill came.

It was rather more expensive than nice Anna had led me to believe. About 38€ - they charged not just for side salad but also the freaking bread! Yes you pay for quality, and yes it was a treat, but 38€ is like three or four day's of decent living for me travelling. I'd eaten just as well for far cheaper in Pavia, Ljubljana and just north in Ražanac. Ach, I took it on the chin (or in the wallet).

Another strange thing happened before I went to bed. When I returned to the hostel, I was finally able to meet those folks sharing my dorm. Which had a lightswitch to change from normal to green lighting. Bizzare. Anyhow, under these green lights a young lady was just about in tears as she tried to wrestle open her secure locker. These lockers were just like the ones you see on American high-school shows, and come with your bed at the hostel. But this poor girl's locker had jammed, her key would turn but nothing would move or open! And she needed her wallet from inside to pay something urgent (I think was booking flights home, or train or something). So I went and kindly asked Anna to make up some tea and I brought it to the girl, while I got my tools out and started probing the lock (I wish I could make this sound less sexual, but mechanics know how hot it is to delve right into a problem). Eventually I managed to move the interior catch and open the door. Oh man I rarely get the opportunity to see such joy! Especially transmuted from such misery.

She grabbed her wallet and went to close and lock the door again, but I stayed her hand. I wanted to make sure it was functioning smoothly before we tried locking it. She passed over the key and I started fiddling with the mechanism and catch, realising quickly that it was the door itself that had been deformed. All I had to do was bend it back into shape with my spanner, and voila! After demonstrating it to her and giving back the key she gave me a crushing hug and I saw she was again close to tears. It was kinda adorable.

Well I needed a smoke to unwind after the day and night I'd had, so I started to skin up. During this time, the locker girl, another girl, and I had a very interesting conversation, about racism in different countries, and travelling and future plans, all that jazz. Now the second girl was interesting, she sounded not quite London, and not quite Alabama, was dark-skinned and holding a Canadian passport. Quite a background. So she had some fascinating insights to share (Canadians hate blacks too it seems). The locker girl was a tiny cute blonde from Finland (oh man those Finnish girls: terrifyingly clever and all too often also intimidatingly beautiful... *sigh*), and this was her first time abroad as she wasn't even 16 yet! I felt quite glad I'd been able to keep it 'professional' during our interaction, mind you that day I think it was a case of the flesh being willing but disgusting, and the mind had turned to some kind of lumpy but helpful sludge. My inner creep had been anaesthetised. Yup Split was a weird one. Was likely best I'd remained unentangled. The most (nay only) normal part was my bedtime spliff!

Even though I wanted to see the impressive historic sites of Split, I knew I did not want to stay any more time than strictly necessary among such distractions and within earshot of the rude hoi poloi. I would leave the next day. Fit-in sight-seeing as a detour before I hit that awful motorway once more.

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sparklytastemakerwitch · 3 years

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Why you need beauty makeup mirrors? Why handheld mirror and vanity mirror are important?

Let’s face it ladies, most of us don’t have access to a personal on-call makeup artist. We do the best we can to cover any imperfections and enhance our looks, it’s a daily ritual. When it comes to the choice between a lighted and an unlighted makeup mirror, there’s really no contest. Today’s LED lighting technology is so advanced, that it’s as close to true daylight as you can get without stepping outside your front door. In this article, we will discuss the importance of lighted beauty makeup mirror.

1. We Need Lights

You never know if there will be sufficient lighting when you travel. A lighted mirror will show us the imperfections we will not see otherwise. A stray hair, too much foundation or uneven eyeliner. The light on the mirror is critical to applying cover ups and foundations so you can see everything is blended perfectly and to make sure the colors are right.

2. We Need To See Every Detail

A 10x magnification mirror is also great for shaving. The magnification allows you to zoom in on the area you’re shaving, so you make sure you get every last hair. These mirrors can be especially useful if you’re used to using a mirror that’s far away, like a traditional vanity mirror. The magnification allows you to see without having to hover over a big mirror. Moreover, if you don’t wear contacts, you may not put on makeup at all because you just can’t see anything when you take off your glasses. With a magnification mirror, you can put on a face full of makeup without ever needing to put on your glasses. A 10X lighted makeup mirror will give you the perfect lighting for flawless makeup application.

3. Makeup Anywhere At Anytime

If you choose a compact mirror, you can apply your makeup anywhere and anytime. The lighting allows you to see your face clearly even if the lighting in the room is poor. Apart from lighting, you may get sweaty and oily in summer, this is when you need to refine the makeup on a car or at a cafe. With a portable and light makeup mirror, you can wear a flawless makeup everywhere. If your makeup mirror is Tri-fold, you are also able to adjust the angle and height of the mirror.

4. Not Limited To Beauty

Who said magnifying makeup mirror is only for young ladies? Magnifying mirrors and LED lights are also helpful to the elderly and those who have relatively weak eyesight. With 10X or 7X magnification, they can clearly see their faces and eyes. Very helpful and user-friendly to those in need!

We all want to look gorgerous and stunning with a perfect makeup. If that's your case too, a beauty makeup mirror is definitely what you need. You can choose a portable handheld mirror with LED lights and magnification. You can also choose a vanity mirror with 10X magnification for daily makeups. At GadgetiCloud, we have what you wish for! Check out our makeup mirrors now!

Neck Massage Benefits

I am sure we have all experienced it once, if not more. You encounter a hindrance in your normal routine, are forced to drop everything, and then painfully set your way back to your real track. Do you know what that is? Of course, neck pain! While not everyone takes it seriously, some people have experienced it. As the U.S. national institute of health statistics mentions, every 15% of Americans face neck pain.

15% of Americans are Troubled By and/or Experience Neck Pain. How Zarifa Massage Helps

Massaging routinely with Shiatsu Massagers helps with keeping your body free from pain. Aside from other pains, particularly neck pain, this massage works by focusing on the upper back and shoulders.

Additional Massage Benefits

Relief from neck pain is not the only benefit that is offered by neck massage. With regular massaging your joints stay limber, there are reduced chances of muscle pulls near you neck and shoulders. Regular massaging improves posture and flexibility, lowers heart rate and blood pressure, increases motion range, encourages relaxation, relieves stress, and leads to a healthy mindset.

What are the benefits of neck massage?

Since neck pain is a common concern that most people face, the solution to it is also rather simple. Applying some pressure on the neck and shoulder muscles reduces muscular tension and can help deal with regular stress and pain. Here are some benefits offered by a neck massage.

Muscle soreness recovery

Massaging sore parts of the body can improve the flow of oxygen and blood help reduce inflammation and soothe the pain. Additionally, this massage encourages the release of endorphins which are the natural painkillers of the body. Neck massage then helps improve muscle soreness and better the range of motion.

Read more : Why does pressing on sore muscles feel good?

Strengthens the immune system.

Regular neck massager also improves the level of lymphocytes and white blood cells that help to fight infections and illnesses. Massaging the area encourages activation of the lymphatic system that removes and filters harmful materials from the body. With harmful substances out of the body, your body remains healthy and strong.

Encourages positive moods.

Neck massage does not just benefit your body, but it also elevates your mood greatly. Studies show that massaging improves dopamine and serotonin levels greatly. So, when your body relaxes, does your nervous system. As our heart rate and breathing are lowered, massaging helps to realign your entire body. Regular massage treatments are offered by companies to improve their health, mood, and job satisfaction.

Reduces eye strain and migraines.

Being a natural alternative to medications for migraines and eye strains, massages do not have any side effects. Regular massaging can help relieve muscle spasms and improves blood circulation. With better blood circulation, pressure in the head is reduced that helps to reduce migraines. With massaging, people experienced a decrease in the headache, and pain associated with the shoulder, and the neck.

What is sonic cleansing?

Let’s start by explaining what “sonic cleansing” is. The term originally comes from the fact that the bristles on the head of the cleansing brush oscillate at a precision-tuned sonic frequency (which happens to be 127 Hz, if you’re keeping score at home). The first “sonic” skin care device was the Clarisonic brush which was created by the key inventor of the Soni-care toothbrush which used oscillating bristles to clean teeth.

The basic idea is that the rapid movement of the brush bristles gently deep cleans skin by removing makeup residue, clearing pores, and lightly exfoliating skin. In addition, some products claim that they increase the absorption of skin care ingredients.

You need to understand, however, that not all “sonic” cleansers are really sonic and that there’s not a lot of evidence that these expensive devices are much better than a simple wash cloth.

Oscillating nylon brushes

There are three basic types of sonic facial cleanser. We’ll describe each type and give a few examples.

The most common ones consist of a nylon brush that is driven by a battery operated motor. The biggest difference between these is whether the brush oscillates or rotates. There are also non-brush type cleansers. But let’s start with the oscillating brush.

This type uses a combination of moveable and stationary nylon bristles which are 10mm in length. The bristles move back and forth at a rate greater than 300 motions per second. This movement generates enough force to deep clean skin without damaging it. The true sonic cleansers are the ones that oscillate.

Clarisonic Clarisonic is the “mother of all sonic cleansers.” It’s the most expensive brand but they offer the widest range of products. They vary by speed and power and by which products and accessories they come with.

Their face cleansing collection starts with the Mia for $99, the Mia 2 for $149, the Plus for $225 and a Pro model that’s apparently only for sale to dermatologists and aestheticians. The main claim for the product line is that it “Cleanses 6x better than hands alone.”

They also have a special version designed to work with their skin brightening cream. It claims to provide “10x reduction of hyper pigmentation vs manual treatment.” But of course it’s sold with health care products and personal care products that works against hyper pigmentation so it’s not just the brush the provides the benefit. They also offer the Pedi Sonic which is designed for your feet. It has a smoothing disk like a buffing stone which is designed to work on tough calloused skin.

Lastly there’s the Opal for $185. Instead of a simple cleanser this is a “sonic infusion” device that’s designed to improve the penetration of anti-aging ingredients.

Clinique Sonic System Phillip mentioned the Clinique sonic system which, at $135, is slightly less expensive than the some of the Clarisonic line. It features an oscillating brush with a dual angled head and its claim to fame is its gentleness. See their website for a video showing it’s gentle enough to use on a flower.

Nutra Sonic Cleansing brush And, finally, if you want true oscillation at a bargain then look for the Nutra Sonic brush which retails for about $100. Now let’s look at the rotating brushes.

Rotating nylon brushes

The rotating brush also uses 10mm nylon bristles but these move in a circular motion rather than back and forth. These products tend to be much cheaper and people have raised concerns whether they work as well.

Spa Sonic As we explained the “sonic” name comes from the oscillation frequency. Of course that only applies to the oscillating brushes, not rotating brushes like this one. This is one of the pricier rotating brushes at $50 but their website claims it’s been tested and is comparable to the Clarisonic.

Proactive Deep Cleansing Brush At $30, the Proactive Deep Cleansing brush is an affordable alternative although there’s nothing particularly noteworthy about the claims it makes.

Ulta Dual Action Cleansing system Similarly, there’s the Ulta version for $25

Olay Pro-X Advanced Cleansing System This one costs anywhere between $20 to $50 depending on which products you purchase with the brush.

Conair Facial Scrub Brush Our final example of rotating brushes is the Conair Facial Scrub Brush which has the dubious distinction of allowing you to rotate the brush clockwise or counterclockwise. I don’t know WHAT difference that would make – it’s not like your skin can tell the difference. You can pick this up for only $15.

Non-brush cleansers

There are also “Non-brush” cleansers. These are less common – instead of a nylon brush they channel pulsations through soft silicone filaments or some sort of non woven pad. So even though the technology is different these are probably more similar to the oscillating brushes.

Using a fan in warm weather can make even a long day at the desk or on the porch almost bearable, even with plenty of beverages on hand. However, you don't always have one available to you, or you may not have batteries.

Fortunately, a fan is a relatively easy machine to make, as it is just a motor attached to a power source with some kind of blade attached to the motor. It also helps to have some kind of stand. You can make a homemade fan out of nearly anything you may already have on hand.

For reference, a mini fan is really no more than a mini vacuum cleaner with the air directed the other way owing to the orientation of the curve of the fan blades in relation to its direction of rotation. Nevertheless, the invention of the electric fan preceded the invention of the vacuum cleaner in its more-or-less present form by a number of years. Build a set of fan blades which attaches to the armature on your motor. For example, cut a piece of cardboard so that it has symmetrical blades, or make a CD blade as outlined in the "CD Blades" section, or find a fan blade template online. Make a hole you can attach to the armature on the motor. Build a small stand out of wood or coat hanger so that you can mount the fan blade and point it toward you when in use. Mount the motor on top of the stand. Glue or tape the fan blades to the armature of the motor. Attach wires to the positive and negative terminals of the motor. Push the bare ends of the wires through the terminals on the motors, then twist the bare wires back around themselves. Attach the wires to a power source. Tape or glue them to batteries, with the positive terminal on the positive end of the battery, and vice-versa. Alternately, strip the USB wires with the male end, then cut off all except for the black and red wires. Attach the red wire to the positive terminal on the motor, the black to the negative.

CD Fan Blades

Cut eight lines into the CD at regular intervals, cutting only the shiny part, but not the clear plastic ring in the middle. Light the candle and hold the clear plastic ring over it. This will warm up the CD allowing you to bend and twist it. Bend all of the blades to about a 30-degree angle. Don't hole it over too long or it will melt completely. You may need to spin the CD over the candle a few times to successfully make the shape. Hold the CD and let it cool for a few minutes. Piece the center of the cork with a needle to create a hole for the armature. Use a needle about the same size as the motor's armature. Push the cork into the hole in the center of the CD. Glue the cork into place, and you now have a device you can attach to your motor.

What are gold facial roller?

Face rollers are tools that some people use to massage the face. They often have a smooth, cool surface and are available in a variety of materials, such as:

crystal, including jade, rose quartz, and amethyst

stainless steel (sometimes known as ice rollers)

plastic

Some of these materials are more durable than others. For example, crystal can chip or crack over time.

A person uses a face roller by holding the handle and rolling the massage head over their skin.

People claim that face rollers have a variety of benefits for the skin and a person’s overall well-being. While there is not much scientific evidence for the benefits of using face rollers, limited evidence suggests they may:

improve blood flow to the face

reduce puffiness

boost mood

temporarily tighten the skin

Here is what the research says about face rollers and their benefits.

Improved circulation

According to a small 2018 study, using a roller to massage the face can increase blood circulation in the face.

The study looked at how short- and long-term massage treatments affected circulation. After one 5 minute massage with a face roller, researchers noted increased blood flow to the immediate area. After 5 weeks of regular facial massage, they recorded increased vasodilation in response to heat.

This suggests that regular massage could improve circulation overall.

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anywhereconsulting-blog · 6 years

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How do you know if building a distributed/remote business is right for you

This post is an excerpt from my book DISTRIBUTED.

At my company, Anywhere Consulting, we have a simple walkthrough process during which we help you to evaluate your business and assess whether implementing distributed business models can bring value. It is certainly not for everyone. There are three possible outcomes of the evaluation.

IT IS A NO

It’s not right for you. Simple is that. You don’t have any processes that can be done remotely, and you won’t benefit from the new approach, even more, it would create chaos within your current setup which will cost you a massive setback. Only 10-20% of businesses fall into this category, mostly because their model is fully offline – this is what makes them successful, therefore there’s no need to change. Another explanation is that the manager’s mindset is totally incompatible with the new model.

IT IS A MMMMM YEAH

You can implement some techniques, but you can’t go fully distributed.The majority of the businesses fall into this category. Your business still needs local or regional presence, but you can split your team into offline and remote groups, based on production cycles. Mainly the core team can be local or the account management or sales, areas where the very personal touch and networking are still helpful to get new business. But anything else that is supportive or production can be treated as a distributed leg of the business. This is much more like outsourcing as we’ve said it 10 years ago, although outsourcing does not involve good integration to the core team, therefore can’t be as productive as needed. The key in this scenario is to identify those points where distributed techniques can be introduced into the business and help business managers to implement these techniques.

IT IS A 100% YES

You can go full remote. Only a handful of companies are able to do that. In this category, even the managers of the business are fully distributed around the globe, along with their team. Tech startup companies are a good example of this but I’ve seen classic advertising agencies and digital development companies to ditch the office and create a fully distributed team. At this level, everything depends on the managers of the business. If you make a full commitment to your decision, this will work. If you hesitate and don’t feel confident about the distributed model, this setup will be doomed.

Setting your goals and expectations

As every business is different, there are general screening options where it can be determined if the distributed business model can play a key role in the business transformation. Details matter but the very first question I would ask any business owner who’s interested in this topic would be about their goals. Short and long-term business goals. Let me give you an example.

Let’s say you are a digital advertising agency, based in Wichita, Kansas. You have a couple of clients, you enjoy your work and business is stable, but you want to grow. If you want to grow around the region or just open up a shop in the nearest bigger city, a distributed business can help you by first hiring people there online but managing them from your hometown. You can open a new office as soon as your team is profitable enough. This way, you can reduce risk and keep cash flow intact when moving to another city or region. Now if you have bigger plans and you are convinced that your services are cutting edge and you can stand out from the global market competition, you can go almost fully distributed. You can build up a global team online and market your services around the globe, but still, keep a core team in Wichita. In the first option, you are slightly distributed, on the second option, you are almost fully distributed. Each option needs totally different approaches and a totally different focus from the managers. This is why goals matter.

Evaluating your current setup

Apart from goals, the second most important thing is your current setup. How do you find new business currently? What’s your method? If getting new business involves a lot of personal connections, you can’t ditch the personal touch. You still need to network offline. If your services can be visualized, reproduced and sold online, you might not need anyone to stay in an office. Most businesses keep a core account management and strategic team together in a smaller office while managing a team of distributed employees around the globe.

After new business, production comes. How do you serve your current clients? If your work involves a lot of repetitive, low added value processes that can be a) automated b) outsourced to a cheaper workforce, you should totally consider distributed business to save money and allocate on more important parts of your business. If your current team has some weak links but you are struggling to find new talents and the work can be done online, you should look into the options as well. In my experience, digital production, digital marketing, coding, software development, sometimes graphic design and UX, and certain parts of sales can be fully outsourced to a distributed team. But of course, that really depends on your current setup and level of comfort to outsource.

A company I used to work for, RebelMouse, is based in New York. They offer a social media CMS solution for media companies and brands. Initially, they had a big team in NYC and an even bigger one around the globe. The office team was made up of strategists, sales and account management, and all the senior people. The distributed team included a squad of developers and production. Eventually, they ditched the office entirely and went full remote. RebelMouse was a startup company with massive investments – but they turned profitable only when they went full remote. The business is still operational, and they serve clients in the US with this fully distributed setup. The new setup allowed them to become more flexible, agile and they managed to accomplish their development sprints more efficiently.

Another company, KISSPatent, which helps startup entrepreneurs to protect their ideas with patents, was fully distributed from day one. They have a team of lawyers outsourced to handle patent filings, while the owner is based in Chicago but travels extensively. Every other member – including me, the marketing director – is part of a distributed team around the globe, while the company serves mainly EU and US clients.

How distributed structure can help you is totally up to your current goals, setup, and level of comfort to go full on with it. If you are not comfortable or confident in doing this journey, there are some tests which you can do before making a commitment.

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At Anywhere Consulting, we help entrepreneurs to launch, build and grow their remote business. We provide support and consulting services as well as educational products to overcome the challenges of remote businesses. If you are a freelancer who wants to launch a distributed business or you already have an established business but want to grow remotely, we can help you.

#distributed #business #launch

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violetsystems · 3 years

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#personal

Spending winters alone at this point is something I’m pretty good at. This is if you count how good at shoveling snow I’ve become. When I first moved to the city I was obsessed with fixed gear biking. I rode one total season in the winter and look back on it with disbelief. There is no way in hell I would put myself through that much suffering. This winter hasn’t been as brutally cold but it’s been lonely. February is my birth month. I barely celebrate the day and it’s pretty much over. The only contact these days it seems is with recruiters, my parents and here. I’ve honed a lot of positivity throughout all of this by focusing on one simple metric. What is working and what isn’t. When it comes to this city I’ve spent years past living here and travelling abroad. The trips I spent solely trying to do this thing that people called networking. Just back in September I finally paid off all I owed from those trips that bore no fruit in terms of a professional network to rely on . I played small shows. I met up with people and acquaintances I knew overseas trying to feel out what daily life would look like. This took me to Korea, China, Japan and even as far as New Zealand by myself. That last trip I made overseas was back in 2018 around the first time the two Koreas met at the DMZ. From there I switched my focused to New York. I flew one birthday during fashion week and spent the entire time exploring alone. I met up with a friend who worked at Eddie Huang’s Bauhaus and had lunch in Chinatown at a Vietnamese restaurant. I pushed my way through my awkwardness and tried to see the path forward. One of those trips found me eating ice cream outside Chinatown Ice Cream Factory alone desperately trying to find a warm meal. I ended up eating next door at a Xi’an restaurant where mysteriously a friend’s picture hung on the wall staring back at me accusingly by chance. I ordered the flatbread and went about my business just like always. This was back in 2017 at least and completely random. There were things I couldn’t avoid. Most of those were my own dumb luck wandering around in the absolute freedom of being alone. Some things I would try so hard to do. To be noticed. To be valued. To be accepted. And yet people forgot me just the same. I became so lost and alone. Wandering into a familiar face felt so twisted and cosmically significant. Like seeing the North star in an absolute moment of panic in regards to your lack of direction. I’m amazed looking back sometimes that I put myself out there so much and continue to. After all this time and all these journeys, I sit here every Saturday doing the same thing. On the surface of my life, it seems like nothing has changed. In fact, it seems like it’s gotten worse. I am far more alone than I can even describe. I’ve felt cold shoulders and colder attitudes simply forget that I exist as if they cared to begin with. And I spent these winters in a warm bed with a warmer GPU thinking about a person I care about more than I did in 2017 or even years before that. If I spent the entire winter obsessed about what wasn’t working I’d have missed what was. That’s supposed to be a joke that I technically work for myself. The value of my work is practically invisible to the naked eye for the last eight months. But when it means something it definitely means something.

When something is working generally means it brings some meaning to your life through complete confusion. Anybody with an engineer’s mindset knows that every problem has solutions. How efficient and effective those solutions are depending on the problem itself. Culture is meant to remedy problems in society by expressing unique power over establishment and systemic injustices. Injustice is a complex thing and follows the lines of power and how it flows. In America, we’re sold on this idea that we are free to be who we want to be. And we’re also run by a bunch of people who think Ayn Rand is still hot. For people in America, the solution is money. Money buys freedom. Culture is just something you post up on your corporate Facebook page during Black history month to fake like you aren’t part of the problem. It’s the rainbow flag icon you post during your lunch hour break at Chik-fil-a to show your gay friends you care. These are very inefficient ways to confront power dynamics and bridge communities together. And yet these are the metrics we pay attention to and judge each other by. Our participation in performative politics. Participation is something I wouldn’t call what I see out in the streets every day. There is something about walking the walk that shows you how many people are talking from a soapbox. And yet society seems to only validate the most obvious of sentiments when it comes down to keeping it real. We can say we’re woke all day long. I would call it spoke. Because I’m supposed to believe an entire city’s sanctimonious words when I’ve seen the absolute opposite. They’re all nice sentiments. That we are a welcoming city. I wouldn’t call it that at all. But it’s about as Gotham as you can get without being Batman for sure. There’s a lot bullshit that gets brought directly to your doorstep. And there’s a lot of fake bullshit you can simply just ignore. That is if you see what is working and what isn’t. A lot of my friends from the footwork community would always say “It is what it is.” The tone rings in my head. A certain sense of defeat to it. You travel all over the world for years trying to find your worth. And you come back to sit here writing week to week to realize. It is what it is. All that baggage is gone. All the guilt that you aren’t hardcore or special enough. All the blame you pointed at yourself for not being good or pretty enough to attract the attention you deserve. All the exhaustion worrying the wrong kind of people won’t stop leaving you alone. Travelling around the world alone and through the winter storms by myself were about one thing. Creating a safe space for myself and an environment to grow. We rely on city’s and governments with agendas that eclipse our own narrative. And when we focus on our own and what is working we see clearly what isn’t. The value of work in my situation is a total mindfuck. Imagine if you were me and realized that after all this time nothing you do matters. That everything you were trying to prove to yourself doesn’t matter to a society that is more lost than you can imagine. And however lost I can be I still can’t seem to avoid the inevitable. That I care about somebody deeply in a way that defies any expectation other than making the world right for you. Sometimes at the very expense of me. Which is why it is what is when it comes to my progress how many ever years I’ve been alive at this point.

If all we all wanted was some peace and quiet I’m ahead of the curve however bleeding edge and lonely that is. All I know how to be is consistent. I criticize myself every day. This is because nobody really openly encourages me here to do anything. It’s always intimidation and suggestion. This is how people communicate. The silver lining is that it is so ineffective that other forms of communication have grown to matter more. A click of a button from the right person means more. A click of the right content communicates something deeper. More so than a sentence full of poorly constructed words in my native tongue strung together like you know... with feeling and shit. It’s the vibe, bro. Are we all supposed to just accept that bro is even gender neutral at this point? I’m a writer by design. I’ve always been that even though it’s worth zero to the world. Comprehension is key. You don’t have communication if the other party is just listening. And sometimes what you are saying isn’t very efficiently deployed. But actual communication is a two way street. I know this because I walk the streets daily and it’s been one sided at best. Nobody here actually communicates with me. If they did they would know how much pain I am in. How much scarring this has all caused. And the real information here is that nobody cares. And that is what it is. I’m free not to think this city or it’s people really have my best interests at heart let alone this country. I’m free to let go of what isn’t working and bolster what is. I’m free to let go of the fear of missing out because nobody wants to admit I’ve seen more than enough to know. Nobody wants me to destroy the dominant narrative because they can’t deal with the chaos of not having the ultimate say. And yet I walk around like a bull in an American glass house. Crashing into things and people pointing the finger at me. I once almost had my phone stolen years ago. I was sitting drinking coffee working on a laptop with my phone on the table. A young kid passed a newspaper over the phone and mumbled something as he passed by. I caught his hand under the paper and snapped the paper back. He looked on horrified as I had caught him trying to steal the phone. He barked back at me. “it’s your fault for being a stupid ass.” Then ran away. You catch this city and these people doing horrible things to your civil rights and privacy daily. And the blame is pointed back on you like it’s your fault for being a victim. The real victims aren’t you. You spend years in a city that should know better about what you are worth only to be completely invisible and unwanted. That is obviously not working aside from the fact that it’s far cheaper than New York and planes are fun. It is what it is. I’ve spent how many winters alone. I’ve posted how many articles about cybersecurity on my company’s linkedin page. I’ve made how many footwork tracks and reached out to how many people I’ve sat across from in the flesh. And I’m still here alone. I’ve travelled to New York how many times and eaten how much Chinese flatbread. All this and I can’t escape my fate. It is what it is. I really wouldn’t want to escape it. Certainly from the vantage point of being alone, tired, exhausted, unwanted, sad and depressed I’d really like to start blaming myself for being worthless. But if being hard on yourself worked then we’d be out of the woods by now. I focus on what’s working and how to make it more efficient. I also don’t expect anything other than waking up another morning thinking what it means to be the best for myself and the people I love. I’d say here’s to another decade of winter’s alone on tumblr. But we all know we’re not really alone in here. And plus haven’t I spent enough winters alone by now? <3 Tim.

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anywhereconsulting · 3 years

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Distributed Series - How do you know if distributed business is right for you

This article is part of the Distributed series.

At my company, Anywhere Consulting, we have a simple walkthrough process during which we help you to evaluate your business and assess whether implementing distributed business models can bring value. It is indeed not for everyone. There are three outcomes of the evaluation.

It’s not right for you. Simple is that. You don’t have any processes that are remotely, and you won’t benefit from the new approach, even more, it would create chaos within your current setup which will cost you a massive setback. Only 10-20% of businesses fall into this category, mostly because their model is entirely offline – this is what makes them successful. Therefore, there’s no need to change. Another explanation is that the manager’s mindset is incompatible with the new model.

You can implement some techniques, but you can’t go fully distributed. The majority of the businesses fall into this category. Your company still needs local or regional presence, but you can split your team into offline and remote groups, based on production cycles. The core team can be local or the account management or sales, areas where the very personal touch and networking are still helpful to get new business. However, anything else that is supportive, or production can be treated as a distributed leg of the company. It is much more like outsourcing as we’ve said it ten years ago, although outsourcing does not involve good integration to the core team, therefore can’t be as productive as needed. The key in this scenario is to identify those points where distributed techniques can be introduced into the business and help business managers to implement these techniques.

You can go full remote. Only a handful of companies can do that. In this category, even the managers of the business are fully distributed around the globe, along with their team. Tech startup companies are an excellent example of this, but I’ve seen traditional advertising agencies and digital development companies to ditch the office and create a fully distributed team. At this level, everything depends on the managers of the business. If you make a full commitment to your decision, this will work. If you hesitate and don’t feel confident about the distributed model, this setup will be doomed.

Setting your goals and expectations

As every business is different, there are general screening options where it can be determined if the distributed business model can play a vital role in the business transformation. Details matter but the very first question I would ask any business owner who’s interested in this topic would be about their goals. Let me give you an example.

Let’s say you are a digital advertising agency, based in Wichita, Kansas. You have a couple of clients, you enjoy your work and business is stable, but you want to grow. If you're going to expand around the region or open up a shop in the nearest bigger city, a distributed business can help you by first hiring people there online but managing them from your hometown. You can open a new office as soon as your team is profitable enough. This way, you can reduce risk and keep cash flow intact when moving to another city or region. If you have bigger plans and you are serious that your services are cutting edge and you can stand out from the global market competition, you can go entirely distributed. You can build up a global team online and market your services around the globe, but still, keep a core team in Wichita. In the first option, you are slightly distributed, on the second option, you are entirely distributed. Each option needs different approaches and an altogether different focus from the managers. It is why goals matter.

Evaluating your current setup

Most businesses keep a core account management and strategic team together in a smaller office while managing a team of distributed employees around the globe.

After new business, production comes. How do you serve your current clients? If your work involves a lot of repetitive, low added value processes that can be a) automated b) outsourced to a cheaper workforce, you should consider distributed business to save money and allocate on more important parts of your business. If your current team has some weak links but you are struggling to find new talents, and the work is online, you should look into the options as well. In my experience, digital production, digital marketing, coding, software development, sometimes graphic design and UX, and certain parts of sales is entirely outsourced to a distributed team. However, of course, that depends on your current setup and level of comfort to outsource.

A company I used to work for, RebelMouse, is based in New York. They offer a social media CMS solution for media companies and brands. Initially, they had a big team in NYC and an even bigger one around the globe. The office team was made up of strategists, sales and account management, and all the senior people. The distributed team included a squad of developers and production. Eventually, they ditched the office entirely and went full remote. RebelMouse was a startup company with massive investments – but they turned profitable only when they went full remote. The business is still operational, and they serve clients in the US with this fully distributed setup. The new structure allowed them to become more flexible, agile and they managed to accomplish their development sprints more efficiently.

How distributed structure can help you is entirely up to your current goals, setup, and level of comfort to go full on with it. If you are not comfortable or confident in making this journey, there are some tests which you can do before committing.

This article is part of the Distributed series.

My name is Peter Benei, founder of Anywhere Consulting. We solve problems for growing businesses with specialized marketing solutions. To read our case studies & learn more about our work, click here. Connect with me on LinkedIn or book an appointment here.

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anguianobrodan90 · 4 years

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Prayers To Save A Marriage Eye-Opening Cool Ideas

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How To Stop Wife From Divorce

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How To Save My Marriage During Separation

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#Prayers To Save A Marriage Eye-Opening Cool Ideas #How To Save My Long Distance Relationship

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unorthodoxsavvy · 7 years

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Phandom Reverse Bang Story

Summary: Dan is stuck taking his little brother to Vidcon where he doesn’t know anyone, nor any of the creators, but taking his brother’s advice to heart, he sets off to catch “Amazingphil”’s panel. By some stroke of luck, he runs into Martyn, who offers Dan a behind-the-scenes look at the YouTube sensation. What Dan doesn’t know is that the Lester brothers have their own agenda- an agenda that just might change Dan’s life.

Read it on Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/501228030-unorthodoxsavvy%27s-reverse-phandom-bang-story-2017

Artist Art coming soon (hopefully)

Link to Phandom Reverse Bang: https://phandomreversebang.tumblr.com/

Being stuck as the one who had to take his little brother to Playlist Live had it’s pros and cons for Dan.

For one thing, he was going to a convention for cheaper than he would have on his own, since his parents had paid for both their plane tickets. Another perk was that he would hopefully be able to meet some new people that were somewhat similar to him. After high school, he’d lost any “friends” he’d had, and the people at Uni just weren’t comparing. At least most people left him alone, though. That was something.

Some drawbacks, however, were the fact he still had to pay for his ticket to this thing, and bring spending money for food and in case his little brother ran out. All money he could have been spending on school supplies. Plus the fact he wasn’t even a fan of YouTube.

“You’ll like it if you just give it a try!” Harvey had told him when it had been confirmed it was Dan taking his brother out of the country.

“I don’t have time to, I have to study for a degree,” Dan said, though the words sounded like a lie.

Dan still questioned if he was doing the right thing for himself, but if it wasn’t studying for a degree, what was it?

Even the YouTuber Harvey had told Dan he might get along with had a degree or two up his sleeve.

His name was AmazingPhil- well, his “YouTuber” name. He was a few years older than Dan, and from England as well.

“Just give him a try,” Harvey had begged. Dan didn’t though. It wasn’t out of disrespect to his little brother, who only wanted to be closer to him. It was out of stubbornness for something else.

But here Dan was, in a world he didn’t understand, hoping to find something to do while Harvey waited in line for Smosh. At least that name Dan recognized. The rest were names he had only heard from his brother’s mouth.

So what to do? Dan stood against one wall of the show room, glancing at the battery on his phone, which was swiftly dropping.

Either he could cling to the last bits of life on his phone, and then be left without it, stranded, or he could change his mindset, and actually go find something to do. After all, these panels and things couldn’t be boring if so many people traveled all this way to see them, right?

Dan heard his little brother’s voice in his head once again. “Just give it a try”. He was here, he had nothing to do, so he might as well try. AmazingPhil, right? Dan glanced at the map. Oh no, Dan thought to himself. His panel was going on right now. Dan quickly weaved his way over to the show-room door, but it was closed tight. Seriously? They can’t make this a come-and-go-as-you-please thing? These people must’ve been really uptight.

A guy was stood next to the door, and Dan flushed in embarrassment.

“Trying to get in?” the man asked in a thick northern accent.

Dan nodded sheepishly.

“Are you a fan?”

Dan shrugged. “Not really, actually. My little brother just said this guy was really good, and that I would like him. I wouldn’t know, though. I didn’t have time to watch any of his videos.”

“Why not?” the man asked.

Dan flicked his eyes away and thought of his so-called reasons. That he was studying. That he needed a degree. That this was where he was meant to be. And so that was what he said.

“Huh.” The man eyed him, his expression changing-hardening?

Dan felt the weight of everything on him all at once. The weight never left, but sometimes it was heavier.

The man’s expression changed again, to something of-sympathy?

“If you’re really interested, come with me,” he said, turning, but not quick enough to hide his smirk at being able to use such a smooth line.

He started walking down the hall to the next door on the right, labeled “Staff Only”.

Dan felt his face heat and flush again and started to finger the bracelet he had on. “Staff Only”? But he wasn’t staff. And what if this man wasn’t staff? And what if someone found them? What if when they found them they kicked them both out? How was he going to get to his brother Harvey? Sure, he could tell them that he had to get his brother, but what if they thought it was just a cop-out? What if-

Dan forced himself to take a deep breath as he passed into the dark depths that laid behind the door.

“So you know this AmazingPhil guy, yeah?” he asked, keeping his voice low in the all-encompassing silence.

The man, however, gave a hearty laugh. “Know him? Well, I should hope so! I had to grow up with the twat! But for real, he’s not a bad guy. He deserves all these fans and more,” he said, sweeping his arms in a motion to gesture all the fans they were about to see.

“Oh.”

“I’m really proud of him, for putting himself out here, you know. Taking a chance. This is what he really wants to do. I don’t think he could do anything else.”

Dan felt like the man was maybe trying to hint at something, but he put it down to his overactive, anxiety-ridden imagination jumping to conclusions. He felt the cords intertwining in his bracelet carefully, and then dropped his fingers from it.

“Where are you taking me?” he finally asked.

“Someplace you might be able to get some perspective on things.”

Okay, so not over-reacting.

The man, Phil’s brother, whose name Dan didn’t even know yet, put a finger to his lips as he opened a door impossibly quiet.

The sound of a guy’s voice struck Dan immediately.

“So, yeah, that’s just how I got started. Enough of that boring stuff,” he chuckled with a shrug, as if it were nothing, and the laughter of a few hundred people came at Dan seemingly like a freight train. He gasped, forgetting the brother’s warning.

The man on stage’s eyes flicked to the side of the stage for a second, but it was almost imperceptible. Dan felt his stomach clench with anxiety.

“Instead, let’s talk about you guys. This is for all of you. This convention, this panel-everything. None of this would be possible without all you dedicated viewers. Whether you’re here ‘cause you got nothing better to do, or you’re a fan-thank you from the bottom of my heart. You all deserve warm, cuddly badgers under your bed tonight.”

Dan thought that was kind of a weird thing to wish for, but he let it slide.

The panel was going to be over soon, but from what he was seeing, Dan was enjoying it. No wonder this guy had so many followers. He was just so- unique. His personality didn’t seem to have any barriers. He was in tune with himself, and he was unapologetic about who he was. Dan couldn’t relate.

Another thing that struck Dan was how his features were startlingly contrasting, much like Snow White, with the pale skin, raven hair, and her original blue eyes. His lips weren’t as deep red as the Disney Princess’ were made out to be, but they were noticeable.

The crowd was simply eating him up. It was nothing like Dan had ever experienced. So many people at once, so many people happy, and feeling connected, at once. Only he didn’t feel connected to them.

All too soon the panel ended, with Phil announcing to the audience he’d be doing his meet-and-greet outside the hall in ten minutes. The crowd cheered and roared, and Phil got a standing ovation from his dedicated fans and viewers. It reminded Dan of his theatre days, though they had never been clapping solely for him and something he had built himself.

Phil hopped off his stool as the crowd filed out the door that Dan had been trying to get in, and made his way over everyone in the stage wing.

“Oi, Martyn!” he exclaimed as he hurried over to his brother. They shared a handshake before Phil turned to Dan.

“Who’s this?”

Dan felt himself blush yet again, and figured that it was just commonplace at this point.

“This is- geeze, I didn’t even get your name dude, sorry,” the guy, Martyn, chuckled, fixing his hat.

“Dan,” he mumbled.

“Dan? Cheers! What’s up?” Phil smiled, passing his microphone off to someone. Dan liked the way his name sounded when Phil said it.

“I, uh, just came to check you out, Imeancomewatchyourstageshow,” Dan rushed out at his seemingly-embarrassing word choices. Phil didn’t seem phased, however, or was at least good at hiding it, probably the later, Dan figured, and moved on.

“So are you a fan?”

“No, but my brother is. He said I’d like you. I’m sure he’d like to come meet you, but he’s in line for Smosh at the moment.”

“Well, if you’re really interested, come to my meet-and-greet, and we can talk more!”

Phil started to make his way past Martyn and Dan, and Dan went to follow, but Martyn grabbed ahold of his arm.

“Wait until the crowd has died down to get in line. You’ll have more time to talk to him that way. If a fan comes up to meet him, just wait for him on the side.”

Dan nodded, but refrained from asking Martyn why he was helping Dan to meet this guy so much.

Dan exited through the “Staff Only” door and back into the showroom where he could see a queue forming to the side of Phil, who was standing in front of some kind of curtain or something with little logos all over it. As he passed, he heard the girl talking to Phil introduce herself as Cami, and tell him that she had drawn some fanart for him, which she handed to Phil.

Phil met eyes with Dan, gave him a quick grin, and turned his attention back to the young girl, engrossing himself in a genuine conversation with her, before she got his signature and another hug and moved on.

*-*-*-*-*

Dan walked around for a little bit, but never strayed far from where he could keep an eye on Phil’s queue. Eventually, at the last five minute of his meet-and-greet section, there was only one fan left, so Dan made his way over to Phil.

“Hullo, Dan!” Phil smiled at him, thick northern accent sounding like his brother’s.

“Hi, uh...”

“You can just call me Phil, haha,” Phil provided, sensing what it was that Dan was stumbling over.

“Thanks, Phil.”

“So, you said you’re not a fan, but you want to be?”

“Yeah, I guess,” he mumbled, playing with his bracelet again.

“That’s really nice of you,” Phil smiled at him in a way that no one had for ages.

“Yeah, I guess,” he said, then worried that he sounded narcissistic, so said thank you again.

“So, what are you up to in life? Graduated from high school?”

“Yeah,” Dan chuckled, “I’m in Uni.”

“Ooh!” Phil exclaimed. “Studying what?”

“Uh, law,” Dan said, and Phil’s expression kind of… froze… in place.

“That’s cool,” he said, but it didn’t sound as happy. Maybe Dan was overthinking again.

“Well, I hope you got a little taste of what I do,” Phil said, awkwardly shuffling his feet with a smile that felt plastered on.

“Yeah, uh, I guess,” Dan said, immediately regretting it yet again. Can’t you just form proper sentences that don’t make you sound like an arse? He fiddled with his bracelet quicker as his heartbeat picked up.

Phil seemed to jump on his words though. “Well, if you feel like you still haven’t had the full experience, there’s going to be a YouTube party tonight! And all YouTubers are allowed to bring up to three guests.”

“Oh, okay. Cool,” Dan responded, not wanting to assume that this was Phil inviting him until Phil explicitly said so.

“So I was wondering if you wanted to be my third guest?” Phil asked hopefully.

Oh. So he was already taking a few other friends. Dan was probably going to just be sat in a corner then.

“My other two guests are Martyn and his friend,” Phil said, almost as if he was reading Dan’s mind. “Martyn practically has his own set of friends at these things.”

“That’s cool,” Dan said. He was really excited to go. Dan hadn’t been invited to a party since going to someone’s Sweet Sixteen. But he had Harvey to think about. He couldn’t leave his little brother in a hotel room.

He expressed this to Phil.

“Ah, right,” Phil agreed, crestfallen. “Well, here’s my number. Just to, uh, keep in touch, or whatever, if you want,” he said, scribbling his number on Dan’s hand like some sort of 80s romance movie. His hands were soft, Dan noticed, and it was such an out-of-place thought in his head. He tried his best to ignore it.

“T-thanks,” he said.

Phil looked at the time. “Well, Meet and Greet’s officially over, so I’ll have to be going now. Hug?” Phil chuckled.

Dan shrugged, not knowing how to say “no, I’m good thanks, you’re really intimidating even though you’re really nice,” and gave Phil one of the most awkward hugs he’d ever given and received.

*-*-*-*-*

“Who’s phone number is that on your hand?” Harvey asked in between talking about everything he’s experienced that day on the ride to the hotel in an American taxi.

The taxi pulled up to the hotel and they got out.

“It’s AmazingPhil’s.”

“YOU GOT AMAZINGPHIL’S PHONE NUMBER?” Harvey practically screeched, and Dan quickly dragged him through the hotel’s revolving door to prevent any fangirls of Phil’s that might have been lurking to ambush them.

“Yeah, he invited me to the YouTube party that all the creators are having tonight.”

“You’re picking up the lingo,” Harvey joked before asking excitedly if Dan was going.

“Of course not. I have to watch you,” he said.

Harvey’s face fell for a second, and then lit up again.

“Wait! I made a friend in line for Smosh that is staying in the same hotel as us who wanted to hang out tonight! His dad offered to chaperone! So I can go hang out in their hotel room, and you can go to the party!” Harvey smiled.

“I don’t know, Harvey, I’d have to meet this guy,” Dan replied, playing with his bracelet.

“That’s fine,” Harvey said, “They left early, so they should be back already. Besides, do you know how many YouTuber signatures you could get me?”

Dan chuckled, ruffling up his little brother’s hair.

“Alright, we’ll see,” Dan said, but in his head, he was really excited that things had worked out this way.

*-*-*-*-*

“So?”

“He’s not coming,” Phil replied, flopping down on the couch Martyn and him were temporarily sharing in their hotel room.

“Oh,” Martyn replied, moving Phil’s legs and placing them on his lap as he sat down on the other end of the couch. “I’m sorry. Why not?”

“He has to watch his little brother.”

Martyn cursed himself under his breath. He should have thought of that. But Dan… Dan was the right one. He was sure of it.

“I’m sorry. Do try and enjoy yourself, though, yeah?”

Yeah, I’ll try, he thought to himself. Got to keep up appearances, after all.

Phil nodded glumly, arching his back to slide his phone, which had just gone off, from his back pocket.

There was a text from a number he didn’t recognize, but the few words he could see on the home screen read “Hey, it’s Dan.”

Phil’s heart pulled and he opened the text.

“Hey, he is coming!” Phil cheered.

“That’s awesome,” Martyn smiled, hiding his relief. “Are we going to meet him at his hotel?”

Phil hesitated.

“How’s this, I’ll go with my friends on my own since they all know how to get there, and you go meet this Dan fella?” Martyn suggested.

Phil smiled. “That’s a good idea.”

Martyn moved Phil’s legs again to stand up, and casually tossed “Don’t forget the roses and chocolate,” over his shoulder, giggling to himself.

*-*-*-*-*

Dan had agreed to meet Phil outside the hotel Harvey and him were staying in and take the taxi Phil had arrived in from there.

Dan shuffled his feet on the sidewalk outside the hotel where people passed in front of him occasionally.

He was dressed as best as he could manage with the clothes he had brought. Obviously he hadn’t brought anything too trashy, but he hadn’t expected to be going to a party, either. Especially not with people who were celebrities in their own rights. He went to reach for his bracelet, and then remembered he had taken it off.

He should have kept it on. Was it too late to go back for it?

Dan glanced at his phone, which he had charged up finally. Phil was two minutes late. But who knew when he would arrive, then?

He forced himself to calm his breathing.

A moment later, a taxi pulled up to the curb, and Phil moved over to the window in the back facing Dan and waved. A startlingly pale face framed by that dark hair of his. Anyone would agree he was simply stunning.

Dan danced in and out of the people on the sidewalk, or the pavement as he was used to calling it, and into the taxi. Phil had moved over to the seat he was sitting in before.

Dan realized Phil must’ve already told the taxi their final destination, because the taxi started pulling down the street without further instruction.

“I don’t think I could ever get used to riding on the other side of the road,” Phil joked to Dan.

“Yeah,” Dan agreed, turning back to look out the window, something he always found calming. Phil, for all his enthusiasm, did they same, and they spent the ride to the party in silence, until Dan could tell they were nearing.

“So, what’s the protocol for something like this?” Dan asked.

Phil glanced at him from the corner of his eye.

“Protocal? I don’t know. I just stand by the food usually, but you’ll end up mingling one way or another.”

Phil went back to focusing out his window, leaving Dan not at all reassured.

The taxi pulled up to the curb, and Phil paid for the fee in American money. Transferring currencies was such a pain, in Dan’s opinion, but he didn’t mention it to Phil.

He was mildly surprised when Phil looped his arm through Dan’s, but he went with it, being able to sense that the inside was noisy and crowded. His social anxiety was tingling.

“AmazingPhil, with my third guest. My first two guests should have arrived already, yeah?” Phil asked as they stepped up to the door.

The security guy smiled. “Martyn and his friend? You’re right, they did,” he agreed, checking something off on his clipboard. “You guys are good to go.”

Phil pulled Dan inside, where Dan was instantly overwhelmed.

The room blasted music, which people had to speak loudly over, or even shout to be heard. The lights were all a faint pinkish or purplish color, Dan couldn’t be quite sure. The furniture was chic and new-looking, and everything was super modern. Men and women with serving plates wandered in and out of the crowd with a natural grace Dan knew he could never attain, no matter how much he practiced. He tightened his grip on Phil’s arm and Phil placed his hand reassuringly on Dan’s arm.

“Let’s go over to the food,” he spoke loudly into Dan’s ear, something that would normally make Dan recoil, but not this time.

The food table was ever-so-slightly quieter, and Dan and Phil didn’t have to strain as much to be heard by each other.

“This probably isn’t the best setting to try to get to know someone,” Phil apologized, but Dan told him not to worry about it.

“So, about Uni, and your degree,” Phil started, and Dan felt his heart sink. He hated when people asked him about his degree, it made him feel like he had to hide, like he wasn’t good enough, like he-

“Do you like it? I mean, are you happy?”

“W-what?” Dan started, not expecting to be asked that.

Phil repeated himself, but more loudly.

“A-am I happy? Well, I don’t know. It’s something to do. It gives me a sense of purpose in life.”

Phil nodded, but didn’t press the issue any further. He couldn’t, actually, because at that moment someone came up to talk to them.

It was a woman, older than both of them, but with a genuine smile on her face and impeccable makeup and a stellar outfit.

“Philly!” she smiled, hugging him while they laughed together. “Hullo, Louis!” He smiled. The fashionista, Louis, pulled away from Phil and beamed at Dan. “And this must be the mysterious Dan!” she smiled, politely holding out her ring-clad hand for Dan to shake, which made her bangles jingle-jangle.

“Mysterious Dan?” Phil interjected with a smile, but a strained one. Both Dan and Louis could sense it, and Louis adapted accordingly.

“You didn’t think word wouldn’t have gotten out about the AmazingPhil himself picking up a kid that doesn’t even watch his videos to take under his wing, did you?”

“Take under my wing?” Phil exclaimed, his voice tight.

“Well, sure, that’s why you brought him, along, isn’t it?” she asked.

Phil’s mortified silence spoke more than actual words could have.

Louis smiled and patted his shoulder. “Not to worry, dear, we’ll help you sort this out.”

Phil nodded but didn’t say anything, instead clenching and unclenching his hands, not in an angry way, but as if he wished he had something to hold. Dan did too, if he was being honest with himself.

Together they weaved their way to a couch that had an empty end, free of party goers mingling. Louis excused herself to talk to other people, but promised she’d check in on them.

Dan huddled close to Phil, feeling extremely anxious.

“Is it true?” he asked the older boy, rubbing his wrist where his bracelet would have been.

“No. Maybe. I don’t know.”

Dan nodded, but didn’t quite understand.

“It’s true I was looking for someone, maybe to be in videos with me. A part-time partner I guess you can say. Also just a friend. But you’re in Uni. You’re busy.” Phil clenched his fists. “You’re busy with something that doesn’t even make you happy.”

It was true. Dan wasn’t happy at all. And he knew that Phil had seen right through him like no one else ever had, besides Martyn, so he didn’t bother trying to deny it anymore.

“Yeah.” he admitted. “I’m not. But what else is there to do?”

“This!” Phil exclaimed, using his hands fervently. “Look around you! People can get paid for this! People like me, and people like you.”

“People like me?” Dan scoffed, “I’m a wet towel.”

“Exactly!” Phil said, much to Dan’s surprise. “People like honest and awkward. It’s relatable. It’s constant. People can depend on it.”

Dan eyed Phil. “People can depend on other people’s anxiety?”

“Yes, because they can relate to it,” he smiled. “Dan, you can be the role model people need for following their dreams. Tell your story. Break out of your shell.”

“Are you suggesting I drop out of Uni to become a full-time internet hobo?” Dan asked, not even caring if he offended anyone anymore.

“Who said you had to drop out of Uni?” Phil asked.

“You, basically,” Dan pointed out slack-faced.

“Maybe you can switch degrees. Find something that makes you happy. I don’t know. But please, just try, for me?” Phil asked, his shiny eyes wide and innocent. Innocent? No, that wasn’t it. It was almost like… it was almost like Phil was begging Dan. He really wanted Dan to do what he did.

Dan leaned back on the red leather couch to put things in perspective. First he would need equipment, and he didn’t have a lot of money. Most people who started off didn’t, though, so that shouldn’t be too much of a problem. Second, he was going to need time to make and post videos. In theory that should be difficult, with the amount of coursework and studying that was expected of him. In reality he usually ended up playing video games alone in his room to try and relieve some of his constant stress and depression. Which did help. And making videos would be more useful than video games, he guessed.

Not to mention how happy Harvey would be. Right, he was supposed to be getting signatures for the kid. He pushed the thought out of his mind and went back to focusing on what being a YouTuber would mean for him.

It would be weird to film in his dorm where people could hear him. He’d have to find another place to film. He didn’t have any good ideas, so he moved onto something else.

He was going to need content. An intro video to start, and to dig up repressed memories to share to people on the internet.

Oh god. Sharing his fails with people on the internet?

He took a moment to ponder this, thinking about how he was already a fail in general. It probably wouldn’t be that much different honestly. But it was still scary.

And dropping out of Uni was almost as scary as being in Uni. But Phil was right. He wasn’t happy. Dan knew he had been kidding himself this whole time, but he didn’t know what else to do with his life. Admitting you have no idea what you want to do with yourself is not only scary but embarrassing, and Dan didn’t want to have to deal with that. He had felt for once he could actually get on top of things. Who makes fun of someone going to law school? But Dan really wasn’t cut out for it.

“If I drop out of Uni what then? My parents will probably kill me. I doubt they’d let me move back in, even though I still have a room at home.”

“I have a spare room in my apartment,” Phil offered. “I can pay for food for both of us and stuff for a few months while you get settled. If you want.”

Someone I met like seven hours ago is trying to convince me to drop out of Uni and move in with him, Dan thought to himself. But why?

“Maybe,” Dan said.

“Think about it, but let this influence your decision,” Phil told him, gesturing around them. “If I’m not convincing enough, talk to them.”

So that’s what Dan did. He’d been taking other people’s advice so far, and it had been working well, so the two of them went around and asked what people thought of Dan’s ideas for content and if he would be cut out to be a YouTuber.

Every single person they talked to said yes.

“See? It’s not just me!” Phil said at the end of the night.

Dan sighed. “I guess you’re right.”

“Yes, I know I am!” Phil smiled, calling them a cab from outside the building where they were waiting in the fresh night air.

Dan looked around. It suddenly hit him that their night was about to come to an end.

Phil noticed the look on Dan’s face.

“What time's your flight back tomorrow?” he asked cautiously.

“Not until four. Why?”

“Well, I was thinking maybe we could go somewhere else or something,” Phil suggested.

“Like where?” Dan asked.

“Well, we are in Orlando,” Phil smiled.

“And?”

“Have you ever heard of Downtown Disney?”

“Maybe?”

“Well, it’s a quaint little place I always liked better at night,” he smiled, and so when the taxi came, that was where he asked to go.

Pulling in revealed a world the likes of which Dan would have never imagined could’ve existed. Everything was Disney themed, even down to the lamp-post and the shapes of the bushes. It was a quaint town-like area on the waterfront, with many, many stores, and even a lego sea monster that was actually in the water.

“I’ve always wanted to ride a sea monster,” Phil mentioned casually as they walked by it. Dan wasn’t even surprised at this point. His face was alight at everything to be seen. Phil mentioned he’d visited often as a kid, and took Dan to all his favorite places. They went to a store that was filled with Disney merch and displays, and found an Christmas ornament store that had an entire room for Nightmare Before Christmas merch. Dan ended up buying a Jack Skellington sweatshirt and skeleton gloves that he mentioned reminded him of Frank Iero’s gloves, a reference he was happy Phil understood.

They went to Ghirardelli's and ordered themselves extremely fancy hot chocolates even though it was a warm summer night. The place was crowded inside, so they sat on the edge of a raised bed with a tree in the center, shoulders touching.

They went to the Lego store and built Legos together. Phil ended up making little Lego replicas of them. Dan was focused on making- well, he didn’t really know what he was making, when Phil shoved them underneath his face.

“They’re so cute! We have to get them!” he said, and Dan rolled his eyes, making sure Phil could see, but agreed, so that’s what they did.

“We should switch,” Phil suggested, “and so we’ll have something to remember each other by.”

“You think I’m going to forget about you?” Dan teased, and Phil blushed. Dan didn’t know he would take it so seriously.

“No, I just thought it would be nice to have something physical from the time we spent together,” Phil said quietly, and Dan thought the idea was appealing, so he offered his hand, in which Phil put his mini figure in, exchanging it for Dan’s. Their hands brushed again and Dan was reminded of how soft the older boy’s hands were.

“What now?” Dan asked, turning to hide his blush as they exited the store. It was almost midnight.

“Want to walk around a little more?” Phil asked. Dan shrugged. “Sure.”

Walking around, they came upon a little amphitheatre that was having a live DJ cranking up a dance party that Phil insisted they had to join. Families, teens, and awkward friends danced to the beat of a song, before they put on one that everyone knew the dance moves to, except Dan, of course, so Phil had to teach him.

“You thrust your hips out like this,” Phil said, hands on his hips, moving them around in a circle to the time of the beat.

“Is that so?” Dan joked, but realized what Phil was saying was true, and so followed along with everyone else. Watching Phil dance was amusing. He wasn’t really the most graceful person ever.

Phil noticed Dan looking, and repeated Dan’s thoughts aloud.

When the song was over, the DJ came onto his microphone. His message was not one that Dan wanted to hear.

“Now, just like your awkward senior prom, or for you youngsters, what will be your senior prom, we’re going to slow things down for a song for those of you who have been requesting it, but after that we’ll be up and running with these beats again, I promise!”

A lot of the families cleared out with a chorus of moans and groans, but some parents and teens stayed.

Dan turned to go as well, but noticed Phil wasn’t following him.

Why wasn’t Phil-

Oh.

The crushing weight of that singular word, and all its understanding fell on him like a ton of bricks, heavier that the stress of Uni had ever been.

Oh.

“I-” Phil started, looking like a deer in headlights. “W-we don’t have to. No, we probably shouldn’t. It’s late. We should call a cab. You have a flight to catch tomorrow, and I have things to do tomorrow, and it’s just silly-”

Dan started walking towards Phil and grabbed his hand to stop it from clenching and unclenching.

“It’s fine. Right? It’s fine,” he laughed shakily.

Phil laughed along with him.

Dan’s wrist itched where his bracelet should have been.

Dancing to the music, Phil went on a nerves-induced rant.

“It was stupid of me to ask something so big of you. I’m sorry. It was selfish, too. I just wanted someone to be in videos with me. I wanted a friend. And I told Martyn. I told him to keep an eye out. And he did, and I was glad to meet you. I didn’t actually expect it to work. People knew I was lonely, and I wanted a friend. Look how well Smosh does. So when Martyn said I had another guest coming, they must have assumed- well, that’s what people do. They assume. And I guess I assumed too. That you’d want to drop everything you’ve worked so hard for to chance it all on a sketchy career that involves showing yourself off, flaws and all, to everyone on the internet. Insane, right? You can’t just ask someone to do that for you. I’m stupid. You have your own life, and we should just be friends or something.”

Dan felt something pull at his gut in a way he didn’t like. His hand tightened on Phil’s hip. Just friends? After everything he had just accepted, after feeling like maybe he was onto something, after- just friends?

No.

“No.”

“No?”

“No. I’m going to do it. I’m going to drop out of Uni and move in with you.”

“W-what?”

“You’re right. I’m not happy. I’m miserable. I agreed to take my brother here hoping- praying- something would change. That I, I’d get a sign or something. Make a friend. Find out what it is that makes all these people happy to be here. To find clarity. To find a purpose. And even if YouTube doesn’t work out… well, it’s a start. Quitting and moving out is a start, and you’ve been kind enough to help me, because…”

Dan looked at his feet. He couldn’t say it. He wasn’t 100% sure, and he couldn’t say it.

“Because I like you,” Phil filled in.

“B-because you like me. And you know that I like you…”

“A lot.”

“Yeah.”

“Enough to agree to move in with me.”

“Enough to show me things from your childhood.”

“Enough to agree to slow-dance with me.”

“Enough to show me off to your friends.”

Phil’s grip on Dan’s hand tightened, and as the song ended, he dropped their hands to their side, and together they exited the small novelty town.

“When?” Dan asked, looking up from their hands where he had been staring at them in disbelief.

“When? As soon as possible. How soon can it be?”

“A week,” Dan said.

Phil gave him a joking pout.

“Five days. Four if you help.”

Phil released Dan’s hand to wrap his arms around his new partner in videos, crime, life, whatever in a hug.

“Yay!” he said excitedly. “We’re going to become super popular! I promise, things’ll work out!”

Dan giggled, something he hadn’t done in years, and hugged Phil back.

*-*-*-*-*

Five days later, Dan had a bed in Phil’s apartment, and an entire room to himself to go with it. He even ended up buying a matching duvet to Phil’s, and their rooms balanced out their personalities while keeping a common theme.

They enjoyed doing domestic necessities like shopping for groceries together, picking out clothes the other might like, and arguing about who has to do what chores when, as well as binge-watching shows together, competing in video games, and generally sharing more about each other and opening up about their past and their goals for the future.

Dan did end up becoming a rather successful YouTuber, and over time, he even passed Phil in number of subscribers, but Phil was never bitter about it. Instead, he was really happy that Dan had turned his life around for the better. In the years to come, they would make two more joint channels, a few tours, a few books, a whole lot of videos, and a lot of memories. They never confirmed nor denied their relationship, liking to keep their fans on their toes, much to the frustration of some of them. They grew together, laughed together, created together, and existed together. Of course they talked about their relationship with each other, but they decided not to really call it anything just yet.

They had all the time in the world as of now, and that was enough for them.

#phandom reverse bang #prb #dan #phil #dan and phil #daniel howell #phil lester #danisnotonfire #amazingphil #phan #phandom #phanfiction

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getoutoftheweeds-blog · 7 years

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My Responsibility – One Hunter Realizes the Importance of the Ecosystem at Home

In case you didn’t know, I like to hunt for as much of our family’s meat as possible. I don’t mean I like to hunt for the best deal, or the prime cuts. Naw, I like to “harvest” as much of our meat from the wild as I legally and practically can. I feel like that is part of my responsibility. I owe it to my family to provide the cleanest, most organic, least-fooled-around-with food I can get them. Hunting is part of how I do that. It is not something I take lightly. It changes things when you no longer rely on some faceless stranger to do the dirty work for you. As odd as it sounds, hunting has deepened my love for wild animals and wild places. I have more respect and awe for the wild today than ever before.

I think Fred Bear said it best:

“I have always tempered my killing with respect for the game pursued. I see the animal not only as a target, but as a living creature with more freedom than I will ever have. I take that life if I can, with regret as well as joy, and with the sure knowledge that nature’s way of fang and claw and starvation are a far crueler fate than I bestow.”

When I originally started writing this post, I had something stuck in my craw about commercialized/televised hunting. Maybe it is jealousy. Maybe my motives are pure. It was about commercialization feeding stereotypes and having a negative impact on hunting at large. Also, it was bugging me how that impact was distracting from what was really important. But after writing it, I realized something. It doesn’t matter. I can’t control what other people do, say or perceive. I can only take responsibility for my part.

Truth is hunting is becoming more and more popular. Truth is more folks are wondering about the source of their food and would rather eat something out of their backyard than something out of a paper bag. Truth is there are some serious conservation concerns out there that directly relate to both hunting and local farming/food sources. Focusing on anything other than my circle of influence detracts from focusing on the real point that hit home for me; the responsibility to chase locally.

I am a huge supporter of the Localvore Movement. Basically, my family tries to eat the majority of our food from local/regional farms. I’m applying this concept to my hunting as well. There is something extremely satisfying about consuming meat I personally harvested from my region. Also, I can taste some slight differences in the meat, depending on where it came from. A deer from Central Kentucky, eating mostly planted crops out in fields, tastes different from the deer in the mountains of Eastern Kentucky, who eat mostly acorns and occasionally fruit from the woods. These nuances may be subtle, but they can be tasted. Think about it this way, there is a definite difference between Kobe beef and Angus beef. I hope you have tasted that difference. How about the difference in flavor between grass-fed and grain-fed cattle? You can taste that difference as well.

I have had the opportunity to hunt in a couple different states and chase game in some beautiful places. I am thankful for those occasions. But, I feel you don’t have to travel to have a positive impact on conservation. In fact, I really believe that a hunter has a responsibility to the ecosystem they live in. That is, I believe my conservation efforts and dollars should be focused at home, before I go adventuring somewhere else. I’m not saying you shouldn’t go on that dream hunt out west, up north or overseas. Those are prospects you should chase down. But, you should be having a positive impact on the area you live in the rest of the year. This can come in many forms. Buying local, supporting local shops and venders, mentoring local youth, joining local clubs and volunteering on local public lands are a few forms of this.

As a hunter, I bring another important aspect to the table, especially in the greater urban and suburban areas in which I live and work, and that is an Alpha Predator. An Alpha Predator helps control the population of the ecosystem, which in turn, helps to keep everything in balance. Too many herbivores = not enough plants. Plants are food to a great many species. Predators prevent overconsumption, which can lead to lack, starvation and disease in an array of species. It’s the circle of life, so to speak. A lack of a predator can lead to devastation. Look at the Emerald Ash-bore Beetle. This thing has no natural predators and is devastating Ash trees in many states.

I hear Fred Bear’s words ringing in my ears.

Want some more reasons to hunt close to home? Here are a few more that come to mind:

It’s cheaper.

You spend less time getting there, which means more time hunting. (Or you can sleep in a little longer.)

Local is easier to get to, meaning it is easier to bring someone else along.

Transport/handling time is shorter from field to kitchen, which can ultimately mean better tasting meat.

· You don’t need to carry as much gear.

· You know where you are, which gives a tactical advantage.

These are just a few things that come to mind. I could go on for a while about the points I laid out above. I hope this got you to thinking a little. I certainly have had my mindset change when I started examining my responsibility to my community and how to add value to it as a hunter. It can be easy to get caught up in big bucks/bulls, big scores and dream hunts to the detriment of having an overall positive impact on the local ecosystem. Maybe you feel the same.

I leave you with the words of medieval scholar M. R. James:

“Despite our ever-changing, ever-indignant world with its growing ignorance of and indifference to the ways of the wild, I remain a predator, pitying those who revel in artificiality and synthetic success while regarding me and my kind as relics of a time and place no longer valued or understood. I stalk a real world of dark wood and tall grass stirred by a restless wind blowing across sunlit water and beneath star-strewn sky. And on those occasions when I choose to kill, to claim some small part of nature’s bounty for my own, I do so by choice, quickly with the learned efficiency of a skilled hunter. Further, in my heart and mind, I know the truth and make no apologies for my actions or my place in time.

Others around me may opt to eat only plants, nuts and fruits. Still others may employ faceless strangers to procure their meats, their leather, their feathers, and all those niceties and necessities of life. Such is their right, of course, and I wish them well. All I ask in return is no one begrudge me – and all of us who may answer the primordial stirrings within our hunter’s souls – my right to do some of these things myself.” – M.R. James

Let us know what you think.

#Hunting #Responsibility #Local #Food

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svetlanawagner-blog · 5 years

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When I started our , it was initially an outlet to share photos of our adventures on the west coast. I had closed my wedding and portrait photography business of 8 years, and we moved to LA to pursue Jacob’s budding youtube career. While Jacob kept busy with his work responsibilities, I felt like I lost a part of my identity when I stopped shooting. Out of that time of being lost, this was born.

A big thank you to Travelade for sponsoring this post. All opinions are always our own. This post may contain affiliate links, where we receive a small commission on sales of the products that are linked at no additional cost to you. Read our full disclosure for more info. Thank you for supporting the brands that make Local Adventurer possible.

Last Updated: July 30, 2019

After I decided to start more regularly, I began noticing other s that were making it a career. Seriously? People get paid to travel the world?

I’ve always loved the idea of making what you love into a business. That’s initially why I started our photography business, but felt oddly different and a lot more personal. It took me a while to change my mindset and think of the as a business too. Soon enough, I discovered a new world of opportunities and also a community of s working toward the same dream of full-time.

Content Menu

5 Easy Steps on How to Start a Blog

1. Pick a Topic to Blog About

Picking your niche is one of the most important decisions you will make. It guides you in shaping your content and your audience. You can make small changes along the way, but once you’ve grown an audience, you want to avoid making a complete 180 in the type of content you write. I started off writing about a lot of different topics, because I’m a dabbler and love trying a little bit of everything. Some topics I wrote about in the past were travel, recipes, diy projects, personal goals, and more. As you can see I was all over the place.

I know some say you should what you want, and your audience will follow you for who you are. In my experience, I only saw real growth when I started narrowing my focus on travel. If you are already a celebrity or trying to grow yourself as an online personality, that’s a different story. If you’re is more about the content, it’s beneficial to have a niche.

2. Choose a Name and Domain

Based on your niche, pick a name for your . This is very important because it’s the first thing people see. It needs to be memorable, easy to spell, and give people an idea of what your is about. You want to be specific to your niche but also careful not to pigeonhole yourself (i.e. If you name your TravelingtheSouth, what happens when you want to move to a different part of the US or world or you want to expand your content to other areas?).

way to see all your options, but then it takes you to other sites like GoDaddy, Network Solutions, etc for purchasing the .

3. Register Your Domain and Choose Web Hosting

At this point you can go one of two routes: self-hosting or a free alternative. If you’re looking to start a as a hobby, get a free . The unfortunate part of this is that the name does not look as good (i.e. yourname.wordpress.com, yourname.tumblr.com). In addition to that, you’ll have a lot more limitations on design and plugins when you don’t own the . For those reasons, I highly recommend self-hosting. Now, what does that mean?

There are two components:

The Domain is basically the URL. For example, localadventurer.com is the .

Hosting is renting space on the internet. You use a company that will store all your information on their hard-drives connected to the internet.

For your , you can purchase it at a number of sites. Here are a few that we’ve tried:

Google Domains – I like to look at my options through DOMIZE, but once I find a name I like, we now mainly use Google Domains to make purchases.

GoDaddy – This current site is still through GoDaddy, but all the newer ones have been through Google. If the price is the same, it doesn’t make much of a difference. It’s just a matter of preference. Just go with the cheaper one.

There are a lot of options for hosting as well! Here are some popular options including ones we’ve tried:

DreamHost is who we’ve used for the longest time because of their customer service, and we needed one that could handle our size. Since then, we’ve outgrown them and now use a small specialized service that costs way more but can cater better to our current needs.

BlueHost is also a really popular hosting option for a lot of s. They offer cheap plans, easy setup, and technical support.

HostGator – we previously used on for our wedding photography website.

4. Install WordPress

Although there are other alternatives, WordPress is by far one of the biggest platforms and the one that we use. Besides being huge, it’s easy to set up, free to use, and there are tons of themes and layout options. If you are using DreamHost or BlueHost as your hosting, they have easy WordPress set up wizards. Just follow their instructions, and if you have any trouble, they have great customer support. I’ve used Blogger in the past but ended up sticking with WordPress. WP FTW!

Sites like Squarespace and Wix make it really easy to put together a pretty site but is very limited in customization. Anyone we know who has used them eventually outgrows those sites and moves over to WordPress, but if you’re looking for a simple site to deal with they are great options.

5. Design the Blog

This is the fun part but can also be daunting. There are thousands upon thousands of free WordPress themes out there. As you’re starting off, just pick one where you like the general look and start familiarizing yourself with how everything works. They are limited but having fewer options will make it less confusing at the beginning.

Once you have a better idea of what you need, you can take the next step and find a paid theme. Most of the time, these will give you much more flexibility in your design and customization. Each has its own pros and cons, so be sure to do your research before purchasing anything.

If you can’t find a theme out there that meets all your needs or just want something that sets you apart from what’s already out there, hire someone to design and build you a custom . We used a paid theme that we customized for a while until we needed more from it. In our 6th year of , we finally hired someone to help build a custom site to meet our needs. If you need a referral, send us a note to [email protected].

Pinterest board to pin all the websites that inspire you. If you have a web or graphic designer, add them to your board.

A Simple Travel Blog Alternative

Starting a is easy. Keeping up with it takes a lot of work. If you’re looking for an easy way to share your travel tips, there are other options out there like Travelade.

Travelade has built a site where you can easily create travel guides for any destination in the world. You can customize your theme, create different collections, easily add items to each collection, and more. On top of that, each of the items automatically includes address info, website, rating, reviews, and photos. After creating a guide, you share it with your audience and you earn a commission for bookings through your guides.

It’s a great option if you have a following (i.e. on YouTube or Instagram) and want to just point people to a guide you created without building your own site. It’s also a great option if you’re just looking to share recommendations with friends and family.

Check out this Travelade that I made in 5 minutes. You can obviously go into way more details on your tips, but it’s amazing how quick the whole process is. Just to give you a comparison, it usually takes us at least 20 hours to do a full post.

Create your first Wanderguide here.

Favorite WordPress Plugins

Bloom (https://www.elegantthemes.com/plugins/bloom/ AFFILIAET LINK?)- our email opt in to help grow your mailing list

JQuery Pin it Button for Images – can customize your own pin it button.

Pretty Links – you can rename links to make them all look pretty and clean.

Yoast – Helps you with SEO to show up better in search engines. There is a free version which works great. We only recently started paying for the premium version so to look at multiple keywords per post, which saves time but isn’t necessary when you’re starting out.

WordPress Editorial Calendar – so you can see scheduled posts in a calendar format.

Yet Another Related Posts Plugin – It shows related posts at the bottom of your post, and you can choose what you want to feature.

Apps We Use for Social Media

Tailwind for scheduling Pinterest (Get $15 when you sign up with our link). I use the Unlimited Smart Schedule to save on time. You can manually pin, which I did for the first year, but we got to the point where the time I put in to manually pin wasn’t worth it.

Grum.co for scheduling Instagram. We do this for LocalAdventurer, but for our personal accounts, we save drafts in Instagram.

Hootsuite for scheduling twitter and facebook.

ConvertKit for mailing lists.

More Resources

How to Travel for a Living

30 Days to a Better Blog

So that’s it! This is definitely just the tip of the iceberg, but it’s a good start to get your up and running.

Last but not least, we want to tell you how much we appreciate you reading our posts, commenting, and supporting us via any affiliate links. This has been a labor of love, and none of this would have been possible without you. We wish you the best in starting your own , and let us know if you have any questions.

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“Discovery consists not of seeking new lands but in seeing with new eyes” – M. Proust

Esther + Jacob

Esther and Jacob are the founders of Local Adventurer, which is one of the top 5 travel s in the US. They believe that adventure can be found both near and far and hope to inspire others to explore locally. They explore a new city in depth every year and currently base themselves in Las Vegas.

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