#i know it only took me three years
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generation kill as ao3 tags
#rie posts#behold… gen kill content#i know it only took me three years#ok now welcome to rie doesn’t know how to tag for genkill so she makes a bunch of words up#hbo war#generation kill#brad colbert#doc bryan#encino man#nate fick#evan wright#bradnate#did i do it. did i tag right
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#BRUHHHHHH I NEED ANOTHER TEASER I BEG YOU RIOT#ITS BEEN THREE YEARS I CANT WAIT TO USE NEW CONTENT FOR GIFS LMAO#personal tag#dont look at me im just here to complain about content drought lmao its really not good in fostering a healthy fandom ngl#because ppl will just hyperfixate and consume media for like a month and then the fandom goes poof right after lol#i miss all the people scrutinizing media every week i miss all the essays pumping out when content arrives#these days its just.... nothing lmao i only really still have arcane in my mind because of fanfiction and a lot of fics have been inactive#ik we're getting new stuff in a few months#and ik we're not in canceled shows hell but like#i really hope that if theres season 3 we're gonna get it a bit more regularly#i really miss it when content was like weekly or every 2 weeks because ppl and the fandom are wayyyy more active during those times#binge culture and netflix sort of changed it lol#i miss it when fandoms were huge!!! i miss it when it was so CHAOTIC lmaooooooooo#I MISS WAITING FOR LONG ASS HOURS WAITING FOR CONTENT TO RELEASE EVERY WEEK!!!! I MISS IT!!!! that was like what 12 years ago LOL#I KNOW arcane is special with their 3 year drought because it takes time to make arcane#but like..... idk man i miss content lmao#iirc they took too long to make s2 bc they have no idea if s1 would be even renewed#so i hope s3 will be a bit more regular now#anyways im gonna go bye bye
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julie e os fantasmas (original julie and the phantoms) was so wild. like, what do you mean the boys were crushed to death by a truck? what do you mean julie has committed more than one crime? what do you mean the main triangle consists of a rockstar with a closet dnd player vs a my chemical romance revenge era rejected song? what do you mean the ghost love interest was a menace to society in life and public enemy number 1 in death? what do you mean he was tortured more than once? what do you mean there was a dude trying to enslave ghosts and this plotline only lasted two episodes????
#julie e os fantasmas#julie and the phantoms#julie and the phantoms og#this show shaped my entire personality#it was my childhood#i didn't realize how wild it was until i watched it as an adult#the one with the creepy teacher is particularly crazy#he actually breaks into julie's house and finds a way to physically torture GHOSTS#i love the remake but the original shaped me y'all don't understand#and i love luke but daniel is just so iconic#i wasn't lying about him being a menace#the dude broke into a hotel (by pushing the lobby guy and running) and caused chaos just to get his idol to listen to his band's music#and somehow got a hamburger out of it#and not only is he (all three of them are#but demetrius targets daniel specifically) being chased by the chief of the ghost police#he also completely throws 500 years of ghost laws out the window by causing a rebellion with just one story#“i never followed the rules when i was alive i'm not gonna follow them now that i'm dead” he took that seriously#also julie thinks cheating at school is wrong but she has no problem with breaking into places or potentially injuring thalita#her pettiness knows no boundaries lmfao#they truly are meant for each other 🤩#too bad he's dead#daniel every two episodes: i could make her worse#while he doesn't know that most of the crimes julie commits are of her own volition#i love my angsty little criminals#juliel#julie x daniel
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save me old flipnote studio MVs.......
#im going thru old flipnotes i used to watch years ago and ouggghhg so many good ones#is twenty one pilots still popular.... do people still remember the TRNDSTTER and marble soda meme.........#its like im unlocking some sort of primal part of my brain and everything is coming back to me. one of my biggest inspirations as a kid#i still remember thinking the final transmission lyrics were the coolest thing and watching =TopHat= Bee and Melissa over and over#theres a very specific feeling of longing and nostalgia looking back and watching these again years later#especially when there isnt anything genshin or mcyt and instead its either fnaf undertale eddsworld or another obscure#interest... and not even fnaf sister location its like fnaf 3 and 2. its THAT old. and a lot of oc MVs especially pokemon ocs and furries..#god but they were so creative u know. i still find it amazing ppl took this little lightbox animation on the fucking NINTENDO DS and#cranked it all the way to 11.. like if u look at the transitions and movement its so fucking fluid its insane..!! HOW DO YOU MAKE THE#CHARACTERS SPIN??? AND CHANGING CAMERA ANGLES??? and keep in mind youre doing this all with a shitty stylus#on a THREE BY TWO INCH SCREEN. you only get two layers you can go up to 29FPS and you only have 999 slides to work with#and 24FPS eats up a lot of that. absolutely insane it literally boggles my mind every time i think about it. AND SOME ARE EVEN FULL COLOR#i forgot how popular EDM was back then too...they were really good for timing beats though so you get a lot of MVs with#strobe last and marble soda. porter robinsons goodbye to a world was also popular with undertale and oc MVs. also a lot of vocaloid#someone made a flipnote abt the warner bros fnaf movie being announced EIGHT FUCKING YEARS AGO. it even used the stay calm audio from#the office.... i wonder how theyre doing now... i love you shitty grainy MV audio.. but i have mixed feelings abt the flashing colors#ppl LOVED animating the sans vs frisk fight. aishite and primadonna were also big ones they were SICK AS FUCK#lots of these inspired my old oc designs.. a lot of my characters had side bangs with one eye covered. animal ears and simple eyes too#now i kinda wanna try my hand at the marble soda meme cause i loved it as a kid lol.. i wonder if i should compare my old and new art here#UGHHHH IM SO NORMAL ABOUT NOSTALGIA. IM SO NORMAL ABT MY SCHOOL BOOK DRAWINGS WITH SHIBA BROWS#yapping#nostalgia
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i'm going home tomorrow & i'm so excited to see my family, i really missed them
#also my mom told me some time ago that i'm really brave & i shouldn't give up#but i don't feel brave i feel tired#so basically i had three different jobs this year#first one i quit because i hated it & it was too chaotic#i got fired from the second one after over a month because apparently i was too nice#now the third one i know is just temporary because it's similar to the one i quit last year#and it's only because i need money so i can't stay jobless#my situation is kinda fucked up because i live here alone so i have to pay rent#and i really don't want to go back to my parents#i know i can but i wanna stay here#i've been working so hard to move to my favourite city and i want to start studies here this year i just can't give up#so i just took the job i didn't want#and i keep looking for something i might actually like#but god i'm tired#i feel like the biggest fucking failure#i just need a normal fucking job jesus why is it so hard#i don't want to work with customers anymore i hate people#and i also want to earn a little more money because trust me it's not that easy to live fucking alone#i mostly spend my money on food cause unfortunately i have to eat#but i'm not interested in just surviving i really want to start feeling alive again#ugh#talking shit for the hell of it*
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Forget-me-not
#I am back to my bullshit#only took me what#three or four months to finish it#but after last chapter I just had to#like#nobody knows the things I'm capable of when fulled by the spite for an author#seven year nightmare#fanart#ao3#little nightmare fanart#little nightmares#little nightmares fanfic
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*scratching at the walls thinking about how no one has adapted Peter’s college arcs in a consistent and satisfying way.*
#coffee bean gang#spider-man#I was almost asleep but now I’m thinking about how there isn’t one piece of media out there that checks all the boxes#of adapting Peter in college + the coffee bean gang + doesn’t downsize the group or combine characters#+ does everyone in a decent way even if it’s not strictly comic accurate#raimi trilogy is one of the only ones that heads pretty quickly into the college era and also involves more than just gwen or mj#and as much as I like the films it does not handle the three of them in a way that scratches the itch for me#I mean for one it’s only Peter Harry and MJ. I like those three arguably the most but man the dynamic isn’t the same#especially bc Tobey’s Peter is much more serious and quiet/awkward with negative charisma (affectionately but still.)#MJ is mixed w Gwen’s personality which was disappointing to me bc I like MJ’s weird and super vibrant personality#and Harry loses some of the ‘kind of a sweet guy but very VERY fucked up’ and relies too heavily on Harry becoming the goblin for revenge#I sound super critical of the Raimi versions qhwjrjwkr I DO like them I do but it feels like completely alternate interps of the characters#most focus on spider-man’s origin which I totally get but also. Peter’s most interesting arcs happen in college#that’s why everyone has to adapt them into the high school years#(which they can do bc Peter was largely friendless during that time and was still fighting some truly d-tier guys#in between the forming of the famous spidey rogue gallery)#I mean I wouldn’t even complain if they chose to do the high school years and actually DID those instead of pasting the college arcs on it#I haven’t watch the 90s show but I want to— does Harry exist in that one bc I know they took out Gwen#at the risk of sounding like That kind of tssm fan. the closest we got to that dream was that show#bc they WERE gonna follow it into Peter’s college years and you could see them setting the gang up#it still fell into the ‘everyone is a childhood friend’ thing so the characters could all be there but it’s one of the most bearable ones
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Merry Late Christmas!
(You see Nathaniel's handwriting. "What an energetic holiday morning!")
Winter is a very sluggish time for these three. They're fighting hard against whatever funky DNA is telling them to hibernate. Even harder against the urge to eat everything in the fridge and laze around.
Here's the older one for comparison!
...Needless to say I hated it. Vincent looked so cursed for me, and Sera- I don't know what I did there.
#amontag#vincenttag#Coming out of burnout strong#art improvement#Their clothes finally look like clothes. Amon's hand isn't mirrored anymore.#Nate gave Vince a sweater to use since the only shirts he owns are tacky band tees or poor ripped excuses of tank tops#Birdpeople have higher internal body temperatures than humans. Even then Sera hates the cold. Vincent's seen worse.#I never mentioned this... But Amon and the birdyfolk all have a higher level of keratin/biotin production :D especially Amon.#this is what allows him to make scales and be cool while also having rockstar hair. He lets it go wild sometimes but often cuts it.#His hair then proceeds to grow back to this length in two months.#I'm finally drawing them more consistently#I also finally know what design to go for with Sera's face. Only took me three years.#ARK_SYSTEMA#Seraphinatag
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put 712 of the worst words ever put in a google doc tonight BUT! it is 712 more words in the google doc than i had yesterday. this fic will be more than 2k, so help me god
#the past six months have been so weird after posting over 200k last year (including the longest fic i've written since bandom)#i think i would have been fine continuing to post 1-3k one shots all year if i had not just had to request extended time off of school#but between that + having no idea if i have a regular schedule at the library + my nonprofit boss sending a harrowing welcome back#i'm like by god jason robertson we are going to take a couple of leisurely 7-10k+ strolls to get you a boyfriend or two this summer#well all that + being horrendously writers blocked on the other two longer projects lmfao oh my god#10k deep in one and every time i open the google doc a portal to hell opens up in my living room#0k into the other bc every time i open my outline another different portal to hell opens up in my shower#i get no rest. i get no peace. every morning i wake up and 5 more demons are- oh my god#bro my fucken train of thought just got completely derailed by spotify. i know i'm the last person in the world to know this but#3oh!3 and big freedia remixed rebecca black's friday?? and it's completely unlistenable?? girls what did you do#3oh!3 kill me bc no time traveler ever took their faces in hand and kissed them gently on the forehead and looked into their eyes#said ''please focus on coloradosunrise it will literally course-correct the trajectory of your career from frat house gimmick to#rowdy but respectable indie edm artists. you can remain true to your warped tour dirtbag origins but you HAVE to develop THAT sound''#like the chainsmokers are a joke but i feel like THAT + ANGRY EMO GIRLS + THEIR TOTAL DISREGARD FOR MARKETABILITY... could have been THEM#when the piano drops?? hello?? i had so many mental breakdowns in college listening to that song they could have defined a generation#like who else is gonna get noah cyrus and ashe and gayle and olivia rodrigo's vision. only warped tour dirtbags.#me @ myself [so lovingly]: what are you talking about. how old are you#me @ myself: talk to me abt earth 2 in which 3oh!3 remixed i got so high that i saw jesus....and it whipped ass#also. i had to google how old i was. THREE TIMES last week.#the minute i turned 32 apparently i was like i'm in my mid-30s now the rest of this decade is NOT my business until i turn 38#this post was supposed to be an uplifting reminder to myself to keep pushing forward and trying hard and to not let the rot consume me#but i think i just drove off a cliff like fully my god#i need listen to big freedia more she rules#fresno oilers.txt#another banner day in the tags with kasper moregraceful
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breaking out of art block with some art related to OC lore featuring a younger version of my OC Henry (plus a redesign for him that i've been meaning to do for a while now)
#I love him so much sorry it took you like 37 years of being alive to be able to catch a break#OC#original character#ocart#Henry#waaah i don't know how to tag oc art#this is for my project Red Like Roses which is very dear to me even though i only make anything related to it once every three months#red like roses
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THE IPOD IS WORKING
I REPEAT
THE IPOD
IS WORKING
#OKAY CONTEXT A FEW MONTHS AGO I BOUGHT AN IPOD CLASSIC‚ THE A1238 MODEL FROM 2007 TO BE EXACT#ON THE FLEA MARKET FOR THREE EUROS#THIS BAD BABY IS CAPABLE OF STORING EIGHTY GIGS OF MUSIC ON IT#TROUBLE IS‚ I WAS IN TOO MUCH SHIT TO GO LOOKING FOR A CABLE I COULD ATTEMPT TO CHARGE IT WITH#(the people at the flea market in my hometown are usually very honest about whether or not a piece of tech is working but i'll always have#my doubts until i see for myself)#TODAY I FINALLY MANAGED TO BRING MYSELF TO GO TO MY FAVORITE TECH STORE AND AFTER SOME DIGGING THEY ACTUALLY FOUND A 30-PIN CABLE#(it took them a while because the younger of the two dudes who were in the shift didn't exactly know what he was looking for. he brought a#package to the older guy and he said ''that's a samsung cable.'' in his defense‚ that cable and the actual 30-pin are incredibly similar in#shape so i don't blame him lmao‚ it was an honest mistake)#and i plugged that bad boy in tonight and NOT ONLY IS IT GIVING SIGNS OF LIFE (CHARGING)‚ IT SENT ME RIGHT TO THE MENU SCREEN AS SOON AS IT#GOT TO A CERTAIN PERCENTAGE!!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#NOW I FINALLY HAVE THE MOTIVATION TO GO THROUGH MY ENTIRE YOUTUBE DOC AND EXTRACT EVERY SINGLE SONG I'VE LISTENED TO IN THE PAST THREE YEAR#(that's as far as they date the watch history logs‚ sadly - they start deleting them after some point so everything before late 2020 is los#to time‚ but fortunately enough there is PLENTY left!)#CAN I GET A HELLLLLL YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY#logs#I AM IMMEASURABLY HAPPY ABOUT THIS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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.
#had a pretty bad breakdown yesterday#can't handle this job anymore#woke up feeling tired and defeated#trying to shake it off but im dreading the phone calls so fucking badly#i know i needed this job but i shouldn't have taken it. i feel so stupid#and i feel so stupid bc i do have a decent amount of time to do whatever i want and i like MOST of my job#but i can't handle the constant yelling#i feel weak. ive tried my whole life to not be intimidated by yelling or people being mean but i just. break#and I'm gonna try to find a new job but we're down to one car so it pretty much has to be something remote#and it took me a whole year to even find this job. i applied to so many places last year and i only got three interviews and one job offer#really wondering wtf is wrong with me that I can't find a job worth doing#especially when i have friends who have similar experience to me who have gotten the first fucking job they wanted#fuck
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hmmmmmm.................vent post under tags...... feel free to give advice or dont¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#i think this is an autism related thing#but i genuinely feel like i wasnt made right for the world we live in#like something is just missing from me that ive never seen ppl talk about#and i know this is going to sound entitled and privileged and i KNOW i know i promise and im so lucky i can even be thinking about this but#it feels weird to have the privilege to be scared#this is specifically in regards to working#like having a job. like going to work#i feel like im missing an extremely important part of my brain or my BEING that is capable ot going through the motions of participating#in society. i never felt that switch of wanting to get a job in high school to make money for myself and get that experience#i feel like there's something i MISSED where everyone took a class on how to apply and go to interviews and write resumes and not be scared#like i NEED to be walked through every SINGLE step because i dont know HOW#and i see my peers and the literal entire world around me participating in this atmosphere and i dont know where to start#im fucking twenty three years old and ive only ever been an intern and an assistant#not even a full year of working#i cant drive and i probably wont ever because thats a whole other can of worms#and that means i have to rely on other people to even get to wherever it was i needed to go#i feel like a fucking child because im missing this knowledge that everyone else seems to have#ive tried i really have but none of it seems simple and its all so much and there arent steps to follow#i mean there ARE but its like 1) look up job 2) apply 3) interview 4) yay you're employed#and im talking about each micro step inbetween#what am i missing#and then theres the fucking demand avoidance that slaps me across the face whenever my mom brings it up to me like i KNOW youre being#supportive and encouraging and its not your fault my brain turns off and decides im full of shame bc i cant CONFRONT ANYTHING#jesus christ#manf i know u can see this maybe dont bring it up to mom i can do that on my own maybe#i WANT to help i just want to help at my own pace but unfortunately the world isnt built around individual paces and nothing revolves#around me. i know this#i want to help my mom i want her to never be stressed about money and to retire and never work or help me pay my student loans but i#genuinely feel like theres a switch that never turned on in my head and im being left behind and i genuinely dont know how to. like be alive
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WAIT WHERES MIM?!?! PLEASE TELL ME YOU’LL RELEASE THAT ONE AGAIN PLEASE
I need you guys to understand that the reason I took down my stuff was for my own peace of mind because they're my stories and i started feeling unsafe having them out because of how they - and I - were being treated.
absolutely nothing is wrong with mim and I love that fic and I care so much about it which is why - for my peace of mind - i want it to belong to only me rn. I know the fic was only out a month after i finished it and that really upsets me about taking it down. i want to reupload it because i know people like the fic and i love sharing my stuff but also there's that level of how much the fic matters to me and how much more devastating it makes it when people are cruel. and how much it hurts when I, as the creator of something, am treated like I don't matter at all and that my stuff can so easily be stolen or copied. like, it's an extension of me, yknow? You can't separate content and creator in such a small and intimate sphere as fandom. like, you guys all use my first name when referring to me, yknow?? there's that sense of connection. and since it's such an intimate space, having that trust be betrayed or disrespected is so much more potent than if we were in a large fandom with a lot of creators.
the fear of having MiM copied is really immense and real for me rn and i know that's potentially me being overly paranoid but considering the Amount of times this has started to happen - and how blatantly rude and nasty and entitled readers have been getting with me and other creators over the last year - it's definitely not out of the realm of possibility.
MiM wasn't written for readers, it was written for me. and i shared it because i wanted to and that was wonderful. but to have any of my stuff stepped on so much just doesn't make me feel very safe in this fandom space rn and makes it hard to let people have access to something that matters so much to me.
I'm not saying MiM has been deleted forever, I'm just saying i want some more time for it to be mine.
#like i thought about not uploading scene 14 too especially bc she HAS been stolen verbatim before but.#at this point it just feels too late bc so many people have already read it#yeah i have a lot of conflicting feelings and im not saying i'll never repost mim but i just need some more time with her yknow????#like she matters a *lot* to me. and im allowed to be a little finicky with her#and this has been just so. immensely hurtful lately#like i spent most of the weekend crying my eyes out over this stuff because it's just so. hard. to consistently share things#and *have* consistently shared things for three years#and to actively *see* the change that's been occuring in this fandom where people just started treating content like it was consumable#and dispensable. and then started just *expecting* things from me and demanding fics or being pointblank rude and like...#i just dont have time for it yknow??#this stuff is supposed to be *fun*. i do it in my free time and share it with strangers for free bc i want to share the fun with others#and when people start disrespecting that. it makes it hard#like ive had so much more fun in the last week writing fic solely for myself and *not* sharing it than i have in. like. the last month#bc whenever i share fic publicly now. i know im going to have to deal with people potentially stealing it.#or not giving a shit about it and just asking when the next thing is coming. or going on twitter and ? talking about me publicly#where i cant even see it#like it's just been *so* many things lately. and it's hard when this is something i should only be doing to make me happy.#and it's been causing me sm stress instead.#and the fact that i took a week off tumblr and like. i got several pretty?? shitty asks?? that really undermined my feelings on everything.#and made it about themselves like#i dont know how to explain to you guys that we're all people and the whole point of fandom is to *share* with each other#not take.#so yeah i want to be able to share my stuff again and feel comfortable doing that but right now i just dont#and im gonna. get off my soapbox now ok <3#the biggest thing is that. people act so overly familiar with me by calling me jess in asks and comments and acting like they know me#and then somehow. they are also so mean and devaluing of me? i cant really make sense of it.#ok enough of me. talking about myself. and venting#pigeon#anon
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Happy New Year from the Animals!! 🐾✨️
#you know an animals album is good when the bonus interview with the animals mumbling 'happy new year' is only connie's fifth favorite track#'the animals on tour' gives me life as does the precarious pause alan takes before he says 'chicago' DON'T FORGET THE CITY ALAN#birthday boy chas chandler teehee#also i was today years old and an animals fan for nearly three and a half years when i realized ???#i think the other voice throughout is mickie most!?!??!!?#it just occured to me when i remembered he recorded the animals and others at the kingsbury recording studio#and the way he speaks is very similar to mickie's inflections.... aGGhghghGH I CAN'T BELIEVE IT TOOK ME THIS LONG TO NOTICE#anyway.... EXCITED FOR 2024!!! THE ANIMALS AND I WISH YOU ALL A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!#time to draw eric and alan and animal silliness all night....#the animals#eric burdon#hilton valentine#chas chandler#john steel#alan price#mickie most#british invasion#60s rock#classic rock#the girl can't help it
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still at the con atm but!!!! I saw like. Five of my friends!!!!!! Yippeeeeeeee!!!!!
#crow talks#I hung out w my rhythm game friend and her bf (who I did not know was her bf until she exclaimed it) for a bit#I felt like a third wheel lmao. They were probably thinking of going on a date or smth then some dumb dumb showed up (me)#I feel rlly good. Like. For my first con.#Oh I took a picture w a homura and madoka cosplayer but I didnt ask for permission to post the pic so I'm not posting it (i can redraw it)#I didnt find any d4 bandori or revstar stuff tho :( but I did find LL stuff!!#I got a few keychains I'll post later (yayyyy)#All of the nico and rin stuff were gone :C I only got umi kotori honoka nozomi and eli ones#There was maki and hanayo but I felt bad if I didnt have the other two :(#oh yeah my other three friends I didnt hang out w much but my fifth one was also cosplaying and followed my and my other other friend for a#My rhythm game friend's bf went off to hang w his friends for a bit so yeah#My rhythm game friend bought the first two keychains for me (I felt like crying--) and then my older sibling bought the others#I also played sf 6 and tekken 7 (couldnt play 8) for a bit!!! It was fun. I love kimberly and katarina <3#Might go home soon (and need to work on assessments--) so !!!!#AH WAIT there were miku figures and such!!! They had all of the sekai mikus there it was cool#I'm gonna totally come back next year!! >:D
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