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emmeraude · 2 months

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when i look at you

— k. ayato.

synopsis: they say drunk thoughts are sober thoughts. ayato, intoxicated by the alcohol from the earlier party, finally takes the courage to confess that to him, you are more than a political partner. to him, this marriage is more than an arranged proposal. why can’t you see how fervently he attempts to make this marriage work? why won't you ever look his way? when did the walls of your relationship become too steep to climb up? how did you two end up taking the longer, rockier road of your relationship?

w.c: 4,866 oops

additional tags: female reader, arranged marriage, pining sort of? definitely slow burn, and drunk ayato bc i headcanon him as one who is clingy when drunk 😋

notes: its sooo so hard to format the centered ones 😭 if its not properly centered on your device im sorry to you and to ur family 😭🙏 lol. cross posted in both ao3 and tumblr. enjoy!

I loved you even in my ignorance.

I loved you when I didn’t even know.

I just love you.

“Never will I ever fall for you. Remember that. This marriage is solely for strengthening the political alliances of our families,” you remembered Ayato’s first words on the night of your consummation all too well.

Under the iron facade of a picture-perfect political marriage, you know of the things yet unseen behind the curtains. It was far from ideal, seeing how neither of you had let the walls surrounding you crumble even the slightest. The emotions you have tried to keep hidden never once slipped into the seeping fragmented cracks of your oh-so-perfect marriage.

When you were betrothed, you two were often the talk of the town—the main gossip among the nobles in Inazuma. It was a given, knowing that both of you were from prominent clans with reputable names. Ayato, the Yashiro commissioner, head of the Kamisato clan, and you, the cold-blooded lady of the Sangonomiya clan, the iron protector of Watatsumi Island. Such a perfect pair was not one to escape the tattletale mouths of those nobles that piqued their curiosity about you two.

For the many years you were betrothed to the esteemed Kamisato Ayato, a bond between the two of you was yet to be established. It was a given, of course. It was arranged, after all.

Yet, often, you couldn’t help but wonder if maybe you were both too distant. Too preoccupied at the thought of this marriage being nothing but political to engage in friendly conversations, too estranged to even feign a sense of camaraderie. You pondered because the two of you silently had a mutual understanding that this political marriage of yours would be a civil one, right? So, why does your relationship seem too far from being civil? It was as if you two were nothing but mere strangers.

Such questions were raised, but of course, you never once mustered the courage to ask your husband any of them. You were too immersed in trying to mask your emotions, thinking this might have been what your husband preferred after all—a quiet, emotionless wife who seemed to be as good as dead. And so, when he attempts to draw closer to you, you avoid it like a plague. You feel disturbed being with him, and you notice that his being around is much of a distraction to you while you are busy guarding your heart. Yet whenever you were about to succumb to your hopeless yearning, you are reminded of his words on your first night.

“Never will I fall for you. Remember that.”

So when he became a tad bit affectionate, you deliberately pushed him away—out of shock and confusion, to say the least. Only he can stir your emotions all at once, although, of course, he was never aware. He must never know, or so you think.

”Wife,” Ayato calls, opening the door and walking straight to your room, each step causing the floor to creak a little.

“You’re home,” you acknowledge his presence, although not at once did you bat an eye. He sighs at your indifference, which is nothing new over the years of your marriage. You were indifferent, dismissive, and cold. He was busy, detached, and always nowhere to be seen. Apart from the necessary appearances to represent your clan in public, you two can only be seen together at night, quietly in your bed chambers, when the day is about to end.

“Wife,” he calls you again as he heads toward the side of the bed to greet you with a kiss on the cheek. Trying to conceal both the shock and embarrassment from his sudden actions, you immediately pull away, a slight frown visible on your face.

“We have already practiced before how to act when other people are around. There’s no need to do that here, not when only the two of us are present. What are you doing?” Your brow raises upon asking the question. You place your book on your lap to face him, although you refuse to look him in the eye.

“Must I have a reason to give my wife a kiss of greeting upon my arrival?” This time, it was Ayato raising his brow as if questioning why you asked so.

“No, I just find it unbecoming of you,” you reply coldly, dismissing him entirely before you put your book on the side table.

“Then, I will do this from now on before we part and do our daily chores, if you would let me,” he replies, and you feel a tinge of hesitation present as he utters those words to you.

“Ayato, stop toying me. I will retire for the night,” you hiss, turning your back from him as you lie down on the opposite side of the bed.

“You won’t ask what prompted my sudden change of behavior?” He asks, and never once did you catch the hurt in his voice that night.

“I don’t want to know,” you murmur, covering your face with the blanket as you tuck yourself in. “Good night,” you add before heading to slumber.

Among all the nights you have spent with him, this was one of the coldest ones yet. Too solemn, too quiet to bear, too agonizing to never be able to utter the words you wanted to say to him.

ii.

Ayato hardly ever slept that night.

He kept on pondering where it all went wrong. Perhaps he was too harsh during the first years of your marriage, too busy to attend to his wife. Maybe he, too, was as cold as you were.

He remembers the words of Yae Miko days ago when he was about to head home.

“For someone as esteemed as you are, you can be quite foolish, no?” The Guuji emphasized, leaving Ayato confused about what she might be on. What is she up to?

“Your wife,” she paused, “might have been able to find a more suitable partner had you not been arranged with her.”

I am the most eligible husband candidate in Inazuma. That sly fox is mistaken. He thought.

Those words have never left his mind ever since. It must have been one of the reasons why he had a sudden change of heart. If he thinks he is the most eligible husband, he must show it. What has he been doing all these years?

Believing that the marriage was merely political, Ayato tried his best to remain as distant from you as possible—no monkey business, no attachments are allowed. He ensured that all your small talks would only be about the clan and other political opinions he wanted to hear from you. He was the first to draw the line between the two of you, yet why does he feel hurt seeing how distant you two have become for the past years? Rather than becoming closer, you seemed to have grown farther apart. The lines he drew became a full-fledged wall of boundaries as you two drifted away from each other. That was not what he wanted.

It may be too late to make amends. The damage may have scarred the relationship even before it started. Ayato recalls the first day he saw you, with his face the same as ever, a practiced smile etched on his lips, the smile never once reaching his eyes as he utters the words he never meant to say. He faced several hurdles on the day of your marriage, several assassination attempts and a never-ending interrogation from the nobles who wanted to acquire the power of the Kamisato Clan by forcing their daughters onto him even on the day of his wedding ceremony. It left such distaste in his mouth, seeing how the power-hungry nobles were ever so aggressive and disrespectful. He must have thought back then that maybe you were like them too, hence why he said those words to you with such contempt.

I will never fall for her? Celestia, such an absurd thing to say when my wife is as lovely as could be despite the exuding coldness she gives off, he thinks. Now, he is determined to make this relationship work. He promised himself that despite this being political, he would treat you well. He will give you gifts, spoil you rotten, and perhaps become good allies. However, he has been so preoccupied with work that he has forgotten his wife waiting for him at home. It’s been years, he thought. Such a douchebag I am... He hopes it’s not yet too late to woo you, and he will do everything he can to make those high walls of yours crumble to ashes completely. If he has a face fancied by many, he might ought to put it to good use, right?

However, there was one thing he overlooked. He never noticed it back then, and realization only hits him right now when he eats breakfast with you after many weeks of not eating together.

Not once did you look him in the eye.

Figuratively and literally, he supposed. Was it always this way?

“Wife,” he calls you to get your attention and see whether you’ll look at him. Unsurprisingly, you did not, which caused something in his heart to twinge. Must you be so cold?

“What?”

“Can I have an ounce of your attention?” he asks, his tableware clinking more as he anticipates your undivided attention.

“I’m listening. What is it?” Much to his dismay, you still did not look at him, too focused on the meal in front of you as you ate quietly.

“No. I want you to look at me,” he says, meaning it literally and figuratively.

“Not now, my lord, for I am still eating. Even so, I am all ears. Just what, pray tell, do you want to speak about?”

Ayato sighed defeatedly; even a frown was seen upon hearing you call him “my lord.” He shakes his head, not wanting to be as forward as he was earlier, and decides not to speak anymore, for he thinks it might cause you to push him away even further. He wipes his mouth using the table napkin before him as he finishes his meal. He looks at you once more, noticing a lingering sauce on the side of your lips. Instinctively, he leans to you and wipes them off, startling you. This prompts you to finally, finally look at him. A smirk forms on his lips upon seeing how flustered you look.

“Y-you could have just told me… I can wipe it off myself,” you stammer, a blush creeping down your cheeks. Despite your attempts to hide it, his actions obviously affected you.

“I know. I just want to do it for you,” Ayato says, triumphant at the sight of you blushing because of him. He wants to speak more, perhaps to tease you, but he chose to stay still when he heard nothing from your end.

Silence envelops the room after that. You do not know how to respond to his gestures right now. You are having a hard time deciphering what he wants. Did he purposefully do that because he was paying attention to you? Or is he perhaps touch starved? You quickly brush off these thoughts, thinking they are far from sensible. It’s merely foolish thinking. You believe that the great Kamisato Ayato is far from being like that.

Ayato sighs again, and you swear it was the fourth time he did so during your breakfast. He must have despised the idea of sharing meals with me, you thought to yourself. He continues to look at you, and even without direct eye contact, you know, you feel him staring at you as if he wants to say something.

“I just want to tell you in advance that there will be another social gathering hosted by the Hiiragi clan for all of the nobles in Inazuma,” Ayato speaks once more, trying to divert another topic in hopes of hearing your voice again.

“When will it be held?” You ask, and he rejoices upon hearing how lovely your voice sounds in his ears.

“Three months from now, I suppose,” he replies, his tone calm despite feeling slightly giddy.

Was there a reason why he said it to you so early? Does he want you to prepare meticulously for the party? What does he want? Oh, Celestia. Your husband is so hard to figure out. It makes you think that perhaps you may have known nothing about him at all, which was understandable since the two of you barely strike up any conversations that are not work-related. Still, it left a bad taste in your mouth, knowing you two were estranged from one another despite being married for years.

Ayato, on the other hand, realizes he has come to love you far more than he could ever admit. He would like to ask himself when and how the love started to bloom in his heart, yet he could never pinpoint an exact moment. Was it when he first saw how beautiful you looked on your wedding day? Or was it when he witnessed how you gracefully wield your sword, infused with the faintest touch of electro—a skill that might be unmatched even by the Shogun herself? Was it when he saw you having tea with his dear sister, Ayaka, smiling fondly at her while your pleasant laughter filled the room? He does not know. One thing he learned is that it steadily grew. Patiently, ardently, crushingly so, without him ever knowing. And when he understood it, it had grown too big to ignore. Too overwhelming to hide, so much that oftentimes it seeps into the cracks in his guarded heart whenever you two are together.

He started giving you gifts more frequently than before and started writing letters regarding what he has been up to at work. However, the letters do not get reciprocated, much to his dismay. Perhaps you were so stunned at his gradual changes that you find it hard to keep your usual composed, distant facade, seeing how much he has changed over the past few months. But he understands. He decided to give you all the time you need until you finally respond to him—both to his letters and his feelings. Ayato realized he loved you in the past oh so silently. Perhaps too silent—too hushed for you to ever have known, ever to feel. Slowly, he has learned to love more freely and vocally, even in his simple ways. He has yet to say it, sure, but he wishes his love becomes more piercing and loud for you to know, for you to feel.

iii.

Months passed, and the much-awaited social gathering for the nobles to be hosted by the Hiiragi clan finally arrived. While the servants helped you prepare for the said party, you heard a knock on the door, with smiling Ayato entering. He pause for a moment before walking towards you, reveling as he looks at the beauty in front of him.

“Dear wife, you look dazzling as ever,” your husband marvels, eyeing you from head to toe with his lips a bit open.

“Enough of your bluffing, Ayato. Such a sweet liar you are,” a small chuckle escapes your lips, leaving your husband feeling delighted at the sight as he rushes over to you to take a closer look at your appearance. He gently takes your hand, leaving a light peck on your knuckles.

“Not once did I ever lie to you. You look beautiful,” Ayato looks at you, full of adoration in his eyes. Once you also looked at him, you immediately avoided staring at him for far too long, afraid his beauty might as well entrance you. For while he utters his praises of how beautiful you look, you can’t help but revel his face when you stare at him. He, too, seems as if the gods carved him carefully. Beautiful, crushingly so. He was the epitome of majestic.

The last three months went by like a hurricane. Never once did you imagine you would little by little open your heart to the man before you. For the last few months, you have seen him actively reaching out to you more than before. Still, your heart was guarded, albeit not much more than it was in the past. You see, your relationship progresses to something more than plain civility. The two of you formed a sense of kinship as you got to know more about one another.

Once the party started, you two stuck around each other for a while, then parted ways shortly thereafter to mingle with several nobles separately. It was almost past ten, and having not noticed the time, you searched for Ayato, who was nowhere to be seen. You turn and find Thoma, who is guarding you at the corner. You asked him if he knew your husband’s whereabouts, to which he responded that he was in the other room drinking with the noblemen. You thanked him and asked him to head there with him.

As you open the door, you see your husband sitting with the nobles, holding a cup. There was something different about him, though. You notice his eyes are close to squinting as you walk towards them. You greeted the noblemen shortly and focused your attention on Ayato, who looked like he drank a little alcohol upon seeing the presence of redness on his ear.

“Ayato, goodness…” you mumble to yourself. It was unlikely for him to look drunk like this.

“The wine tastes a bit sweet, so he must have drunk a lot, milady,” Thoma says, and you realize that Ayato likes sweets, which must have been why he drank a lot without knowing that the wine was strong. Ayato opens his eyes, a stern look he tries to make. This prompts you to giggle a bit, seeing how your husband never once softens his look even while being intoxicated.

The ride home was ever so silent. Ayato stares at you piercingly, and you, left not knowing what to do, avoid his gaze as always. After a few while, however, you decide to ask how he is feeling.

“Are you okay?” You ask out of concern since he seemed to be spacing out, which was so unlikely of him.

“I am. My head just feels dizzy,” he murmurs.

“That’s the consequence of drinking a lot,” you teased him, and even though you weren’t looking at him, you felt as though he was rolling his eyes. My, look at that sass, you thought.

“It’s not my fault that the wine is sweet. It almost tastes that of boba tea,” Ayato counters.

“You could have just asked for another sweet beverage similar to boba, Ayato,” you argued once more, obviously amused at his replies.

“I cannot decline the eager requests of the noblemen who surrounded me,” he sighs.

“Must you drink a lot, then?” You raise your eyebrow.

“Heavens, wife. Please stop scolding me. Never did I know I could never win an argument with you,” he sighs again, earning yet another hearty laugh from you in response to what he says. Ah, music to my ears, Ayato thought.

“Alright, alright. I’ll shut up,” you resign in defeat, although your laugh has still yet subsided.

You arrived at the estate shortly after. With the help of Thoma, you hand-in-hand carried your husband to your private chambers. You thank your retainer as he quietly exits.

You prepare a damp towel with a basin filled with water to wash your husband, then carefully undo the kumihimo and try to remove all the layers of his ever-so-thick clothing slowly. He stirs a bit, opening his eyes as he witnesses you caring for him. He sits up, helping you remove his clothes so that he can now wear his night kimono. Now that his upper body was bare and free from any clothes, you wiped his arms, then his chest, and lastly, his neck.

“I can do this on my own…” he murmurs, which seems to be grumbling in your ears.

“I doubt. Someone as pampered as you?” You snorted.

“Oh, come on. Stop attacking me when I’m in such a weak-minded state,” he scoffs, and now you clearly can no longer hide the amusement because of his actions.

You merely chuckle lightly, a sight he revels the most. Abruptly, he pulls you closer to him, head feeling a bit hazy as he takes in your scent. He wraps his arms around you, his body leaning towards yours as your back touches the headboard of your bed.

“Ayato?” You gently tap his cheeks, causing him to lean closer to your touch.

He was silent for a while, with his breath steady and slow, and when you have come to conclude that he perhaps might have fallen asleep, he speaks, making you jolt a bit in surprise.

“Why…” Ayato mumbles to his breath, his head nuzzling to your neck upon sighing with exasperation. Albeit confused, you strive to console him by patting him gently, trying to understand that he must have been far more intoxicated because of the drinks he had earlier.

“Why won’t you look at me?” He says, as if pleading with you to take even just one glance, to take a chance with him.

“Pardon?” You pause for a moment.

“Look at me,” you feel a thread of desperation laced in his voice so soft that it might have threatened your senses, altering your resolve as you try to remain composed.

“I am looking at you now, Ayato,” you answer, facing him to prove your point. However, your eyes never once gazed at his, even now. Try as you may, you can never find a solid explanation of his actions. Upon saying those words, you made an effort to sound as calm as possible, as if trying to soothe your husband, who seemed to be... sulking...?

“No, you know that’s not what I meant,” he groans, causing you to be a bit taken aback. Oh, seeing him frowning and grumbling, such a sight of him you have never witnessed your whole life. Not until now, that is. What in the world did Ayato drink for him to become this sluggish and vulnerable?

“What, then?” You pause for a while, confusion now clearly etched on your face as you look at him.

“Why must you be so cruel? If only you could see how much I devote myself to this marriage. How I’m devoted to... to you…” His voice was somewhat cracked, making it seem as if it was what keeping him up late at night for the past few days.

His words left you bewildered. You blink your eyes a couple of times, feeling your cheeks warming upon realizing what he meant. Oh. You choose to shut your mouth, because the best option you can think about right now is avoiding confrontation. To avoid talking. And you know that’s what you’re good at.

“See? You won’t even respond to me right now…” he purposefully laced his voice with sulking, knowing how it works on you all too well.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what to say, Ayato,” you admit, sighing as you think that maybe you cannot avoid things forever.

“Your normal response when someone confesses to you should either be a rejection or acceptance, or even an ounce of gratitude will do, my darling wife. Don’t you know that?” Ayato coos. Despite the hint of teasing in his voice, there was also gentleness in it, as if making sure to be patient with whatever response you may give.

“And why is my drunk husband lecturing me about this? For a drunk person, you sure are chatty, no?” You attempt to tease him, which, in return, he merely snorts. He was silent for a while afterwards, and then he spoke again.

“Because I want to know how you feel about me, too…”

You were quiet once more, again taken aback by his straightforwardness. You have known Ayato to be a no-nonsense type of person. He does not like it when people beat around the bush. Despite him being known as a cunning charmer who has the power to entice people with his mere words, he makes sure that his words never lack substance. He especially lets you know his likes and dislikes, and you thought to yourself once that his straightforwardness was what you liked the most, in contrast to you, who have learned to conceal everything even from your husband.

“Ayato, if I may be honest with you… I was ready to live as though I was dead in the first months of our marriage. It was so lonely, you know?” you say to him, which alarmed him as he faced you with a frown.

“Wife…”

“I made my walls too high because I was scared that when you see a fracture of my vulnerability, you might look away and throw me. And knowing that there are a lot of people coveting the position as your wife, I was restless, Ayato, because I know I am replaceable, and you are not,” you paused a bit, feeling something heavy blocked in your throat as you struggle to speak without breaking down. He was about to protest what you said when you stopped him and continued talking.

“A-and why do you think I was that scared? It was because I loved you too, idiot, from the start. I loved you secretly and learned to keep this feeling of mine. Do you know how terrified I am upon imagining you looking at me with disgust if ever you find it out? You uttered in our first meeting that I should never expect any love from you!” Your voice broke a bit as tears finally fell. Ayato promptly cups your face to wipe away the tears cascading down your face.

“Shh… I’m so sorry, my love. I’m so sorry. I want to make it up to you. I will make sure I can. Please let me. I love you…” Ayato murmurs as he gently rubs your back, all while hugging you. Your soft sniffles are heard across the room, and it pains him to hear those from you. He likes it when you speak; he likes to listen to your voice, which he thinks was a rarity back then. However, never did he imagine he would come to hear your cries because of him, and it broke his heart, too. He looks up, staring at your face, and kisses your tears away. He kisses your forehead, then nuzzles to your neck as the two of you finally drifted to sleep afterwards with you cradled in his arms.

As soon you feel the sun’s glaring light, you gently open your eyes. You see your husband at your side with you two facing each other, and immediately, embarrassment fills up your thoughts upon recalling how much you cried to him last night. Embarrassing! I hope he was too drunk to remember what I said last night!

Your wishes were unheard, however, as he stirs awake shortly after you do. Ayato opens his eyes, immediately searching yours the moment he does so. The first thing he did was to plant a soft kiss on your forehead, a grin plastering his lips upon seeing your red face. He shakes his head while touching your face as if reading your mind.

“If you think I have forgotten our conversations last night, you are wrong, my darling wife. I shall embed it in my mind for the rest of my life.”

“Shut up,” you roll your eyes in return, earning a heartfelt laugh from him. He will always ever be glad to see a new side of you.

“I know you love me,” he teases more, the smile on his face never once faded. He kisses your forehead first, then your cheeks, then finally, your lips. Despite being a bit starstruck, you still spoke to him to keep up with your bantering.

“Fair reminder that it was you who confessed first, dear husband. You love me, too,” you retorted, feeling snug at your comeback as you smirked at him.

“Oh, no one can deny that. I love you, and I yearn for you most ardently, my lovely wife.”

This time, you are sure the two of you will now walk the path at the same pace. No more secrets you need to conceal, no more running away despite things getting overwhelming. Lastly, no more looking down in hopes of avoiding his gaze. You know you can now erase the lines you ridiculously drew at the start of your marriage. You are now well rested, knowing the high walls you two built to protect yourselves are crumbling slowly but surely, steadily, and beautifully.

Ayato is at peace, too, knowing how you finally learned to look at him. Moreso at the fact that you looked at him now oh so lovingly. And as such, the two of you are now finally listening to the beat of your hearts both of you stubbornly tried to avoid.

istg posting in tumblr is hard 😭 this is my first time here lmaooo salute to all writers here omg. i hope all ayato stans (me) are having a feast at the surge of ayato fics here in tumblr we r blessed 🔥

#genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x you #kamisato ayato x reader #ayato x reader #kamisato ayato x you #kamisato ayato #arranged marriage au #how to tags lol

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bvidzsoo · 1 year

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An Imprisoned Nightingale

Author: bvidzsoo

Warnings: violence, a lot of manhandling, cursing, and mentions of human trafficking

Pairing: Choi San x female reader

Word count: 15,4k

Summary: Choi San was everything you needed him to be. A hunter? He’d hunt down anything for you. An assassin? You wanted someone dead, he’d do it. An inside man? That information you needed; he’d bring it to you. He was a mercenary. Ruthless, fearless, uncaring, unfeeling. All he dreamed of was money and power. Everyone who heard his name feared him, people stepped aside on a busy road for him, women never approached him out of fear of being captured and then sold by him. You loved singing, despite working as a waitress, you dreamed of performing on a stage one day. Your whole life you've worked hard, knowing that one day you'll be discovered and your life would change; you'd become a performer for the wealthy. And your life did change, but instead, you became a prisoner, soon to be sold off by nobody else than Choi San. (Reader is called Im Ara in the following oneshots.)

A/N: My God, writing this was a whole ass ride, I want to punch San personally lol. It's never explicitly said that it's human trafficking, but it's quite obvious that it's that. :// I don't go into much detail about it, so yeah...the third part of the series is up and I hope you'll enjoy it. Hongjoong's part will be up in around two to three weeks because I'm going on vacation. If you want to be added to the taglist, just comment on the post. And don't forget to let me know what you think about this part, enjoy now!

Taglist: @pingyu-in-wonderland @marievllr-abg @lelaleleb @loveforred @horanghae8 @jeonghanscarat7 @orshii @mundayoonimnida @m3tavita @silentcry329

Series Masterlist ↭ Previous Part

The sun shone down on the little cottage sitting by the end of the cobblestone street, stationed somewhere on the outskirts of the bustling city. The neighborhood was quiet, most families living in the neighboring cottages being of working class, with three to four children. I liked this part of the city, because everyone was nice and it was clean. The further you ventured inside the city, the dirtier and louder it got. It was an industrial city and the markets reeked of fish and pigs; the smells combined disgusting. If I could, I stayed away from that side of the city, content with the serenity the outskirts offered. And perhaps living here felt like I was closer to achieving my dreams. If I walked down the path leading towards the forest and hiked for an hour, I would arrive to a huge clearing adorned by a house smaller than a castle, yet bigger than a mansion. The Royal Family loved coming here during the summer, it was their little hideout. Wealthy businessmen and gorgeous rich ladies would walk the streets, all headed towards the Royal Family’s place, invited for an afternoon tea or perhaps a midnight ball. I always peaked out the window when I heard horses pulling carriages by the house, knowing very well that all I could do for now was admire from afar. I was working towards to achieving my dream, but I was still a long way from it. The false sense of richness and wealth this little cottage offered was nothing but fake. I could barely afford it, sometimes not having money for weeks lead me to cultivating my own garden, which turned out to be a lot harder to do than I had initially expected it to be. The elderly family living next door wasn’t very keen of the idea, saying it lured foxes and other kinds of animals from the forest, threatening their chickens and other pets they kept around, acting as if their animals weren’t the ones drawing in the wild life from the forest. I learned to ignore the couple’s nagging, but continued keeping an eye on them, making sure they wouldn’t attempt sabotaging my little garden.

I had opened the windows, the warm breeze carrying inside as I dusted everything off with a wet cloth. It’s been a week since I’ve had a full day to myself, and so I took advantage of it, and cleaned up my house. It was quite easy and fast as it had only three chambers and a small bathroom, however, my thoughts stole me away from reality quickly and so, this simple task turned into an unnecessarily longer one. The modest pink dress I was wearing seemed to turn into a carefully designed, soft fabric, night gown, making me look like a princess. My short hair always seemed to be pulled into intricate braids, quite impossible in real life as I could barely tie it up into a low ponytail. And the wet cloth I was holding in my hands suddenly turned into a white tissue, or sometimes a small purse, occupying my hands, saving me from feeling too awkward. My humble living room turned into a huge ballroom decorated by expensive marble and low hanging golden chandeliers, paintings from other Kingdoms brought in, captivating everyone’s attention. The living room which only I was occupying was suddenly filled with hundreds of wealthy people, laughing and conversing, enjoying each other’s company. I stood to the sidelines, observing everyone, finding myself smiling at a little girl dancing by herself. She seemed to be lost in her own world, oblivious to everyone around her as she went closer to the band of musicians, the violin catching her attention. My legs started moving and I found myself walking over, approaching her.

“Pretty instrument, isn’t it?” I asked softly, making her look at me with big eyes.

“It sounds lovely.” She said shyly, looking away when I glanced at her. I nodded my head and clasped my hands behind myself, having to agree with the little girl.

“You’re quite lovely as well, little one.” I said with a smile and the girl chuckled, twirling around, showing off her pale blue dress. It complimented her similar colored eyes well, her tan skin glowing underneath the candle lights.

“I like the shade of pink your dress has.” She complimented me back, showing how well raised she was. I thanked her quietly and a woman rushed towards us, panting lightly.

“Here you were,” She muttered as she took her daughter’s hand into hers, slightly relaxing, “Stop walking away from me, Y/N, it’s not safe for a little girl like you to be alone.”

How peculiar, her name was the same as mine. The woman finally seemed to notice me and when she looked up, and made eye contact with me, she seemed to be in awe. She smiled brightly and extended her hand.

“It’s an honor meeting you, Miss Im,” She spoke up as I shook her hand, “My name is Im Nara.”

“Lovely meeting you, Mrs. Im.” I said pleasantly, listening to the woman’s rant about her wishing to meet me sooner but she wasn’t capable of attending balls due to her daughter being too young, and her wish was to bring her child to these exquisite gatherings with herself. I felt accomplished as I listened to the woman, her praises warming my heart, allowing me to take pride in myself. I have worked hard to get on this level, to be recognized and appreciated by men and women alike, even children. Anyone who had a mildly nice voice could become a recognized singer in their little town, but I stayed persistent, hard-working, and never allowed anyone to push me down, and that’s how I became so well known in the four seas and four kingdoms. Queens and Kings requested me to sing at their balls, weddings, and sometimes even invited me over for a quiet afternoon tea, making sure I had everything I needed. I was living the lavished life I always wanted and for once in my life, I felt accomplished.

I excused myself from the woman and her child as the lovely musicians stopped playing and announced that a special performer would entertain the guests for an hour now. I smiled and after taking a sip of water, soaking my throat for a little, I walked up to the middle of the stage and bowed my head, “Welcome, everyone, I hope your evening has been lovely so far. Allow me to entertain you for the following hour, I have been Im Y/N.”

And so I allowed my voice to grab everyone’s attention as I started singing a soft tune everyone knew. The song was about a pair in love whom had to go through hardships in life before they found each other and settled for a simple life. The man was a fisherman and the woman a princess, but she gave up everything for him. Her parents were strict and never allowed her to love someone freely, so she ran away from home and accidentally bumped into the love of her life on a pirate ship. Not many lived to tell the tale of such an encounter as pirates were known to be ruthless and scary, yet somehow, the princess seemed to charm the sailor. Everyone clapped when I finished the song and I cleared my throat, continuing with the next one, my powerful voice resounding in the expanse of the vast room, bouncing back off the walls. Once my little act of entertainment was over, everyone clapped loudly and I bowed deeply, thanking them for their attention and appreciation before I walked off the stage, headed to the little bar to ask for some water to freshen up my vocal chords.

A few minutes have barely passed since I had gotten off the stage and I was already surrounded by various people, each trying to grab my attention. I chatted with the lovely ladies, complimenting their outfits or jewelry, getting invited to their get togethers in return as a performer. The single wealthy men seemed to watch me from afar before reluctantly approaching me, remaining delicate as if they were scared I would run away. Some tried to win me over with tales of their doings, or by bragging about their money, something I wasn’t interested in. The one and only question they had to answer was that if we ever fell in love and married one day, would they want me to be a pretty trophy staying at home all day long and doing nothing or would they let me to continue my singing career. If the answer was that they’d prefer I stayed at home, I would excuse myself and find company from someone else, however if they said I was allowed to continue singing, I would entertain the conversation, wondering if we were a match made in Heaven. However, nobody ever seemed to be good enough. Their personalities just pushed me away as I didn’t feel appreciated enough, and I found peace in my solace, content with being able to fend for myself and live a happy life.

The King’s second cousin seemed to find me in the crowd of people and he invited me over to their table, asking me to sit with them. It was an honor, so I couldn’t refuse. I greeted everyone politely and the women were quick to ask where my gown was from and if they sent an invite to sing at their birthday parties, if I would come. I chuckled and told them that if I was free I would gladly do so, making them squeal in excitement before they whispered to each other excitedly. I accepted the glass of champaign from the King’s second cousin and he made a silly toast, the table erupting in laughter. As I took a sip from the champaign, I felt eyes watching me. I attempted to look around the room, but the culprit was sitting right across from me. He was a very handsome man. His jet-black hair was gelled back, a few stray strands falling into his sharp, slit like eyes, their color a deep brown. His lips were plump and glistened from having licked them after taking a sip of his own champaign, the bridge of his nose tall, complimenting his manly face well. His aura was rather intimidating, yet no malice radiated off of him. Catching myself staring at him, I blushed, and quickly looked away, making the man smile. His whole demeanor seemed to change once a charming smile was on his lips, he looked rather endearing. He was wearing a General’s uniform, making it quite clear that he was part of the Royal Guard. I have never seen such good-looking man, and I found myself wishing to talk to him, bewitched. He seemed to be quiet as he observed the people around the table, only speaking when spoken to and rarely laughing or smiling. My heartrate picked up when we made eye contact again, becoming shy as he flashed me a small smile, his adorable dimples showing. The King’s second cousin tapped my hand to gain my attention and I looked at him with a smile, trying to focus on the conversation at hand rather than at the handsome General.

“Tell us, Miss Im,” The King’s cousin started, with a cheeky smile, “Still haven’t found your other half?”

I chuckled, a little embarrassed that my love life was brought up in front of the General, but played it off, “I haven’t, Sir, it seems as though the perfect match for a hopeless romantic like myself doesn’t exist.”

The people at the table laughed at my words, apparently funnier than I thought they were as I was being honest, but it seemed to gain the General’s attention. He sat up straighter in his seat and raised his glass when he caught me peaking at him, lightly tilting it in my direction. I grabbed my own glass of champagne and nodded, the two of us drinking from our glasses at the same time, “Well, dear Miss Im, I feel it became my personal mission to find you an educated and well-mannered man.”

I truly wished the King’s second cousin stopped talking, but he was tipsy and his filters disappeared, “Everyone at this table, however, is already married—”

“I am not.” All eyes fell on the General, who’s voice demanded respect, not too deep yet not high pitched either. I couldn’t help but blush and avert my eyes when his gaze became too much, and the King’s second cousin let out a satisfied sound.

“How silly of me!” He exclaimed, and stood, taking my hand in his, “Let’s introduce you to General Choi.”

Despite wanting to act coy, I couldn’t help but feel excited as the King’s cousin walked us around the table, towards the General, who stood up. I couldn’t help but find myself mesmerized by his presence, his eyes drawing me in. Who was this man? Have I finally found my other half? And as the General extended a white glowed hand to shake, loud knocking caught my attention. I glanced around to see if anyone else heard it, but nobody moved, nobody reacted. I smiled, a little tense, and went to shake the General’s hand, when the knocking turned into banging. I jumped, frightened, watching as the image around me became washed out, fading away. I panicked and tried to hold onto the General’s hand, desperately wishing for him to be real, but instead, I found myself crashing against the front door.

“Im Y/N! Open the door!” The scratchy voice of the landlady made me groan, head resting against the door as my perfect fantasy faded away. I wasn’t the famous singer anymore attending balls of the wealthy, getting invited to get togethers and birthday parties, meeting the love of my life. I was just a poor girl living in a cottage I could barely afford, working at an Inn which didn’t pay well, and also, I have barely cleaned anything in the house.

I sighed, and opened the front door, “Were you trying to ignore me, cheeky girl?!”

“No, Mrs. Yoon, I was just—”

“Disturbing everyone with your loud screeching.” The woman interrupted me rudely, making my jaw clench. The one screeching here was her and not me.

“Where’s my money, anyway?” My eyebrows furrowed and I quickly glanced behind me, eyes falling on the calendar I designed myself placed on the wall. The end of the month would be in two weeks, why was she asking for rent right now?

“You’re a bit early on rent, Mrs. Yoon—”

“I’m not early, you’re the one late.” I sucked in a deep breath, telling myself that it was alright if she interrupted me, “You didn’t pay last month, and haven’t paid this month either.”

“Because it’s not the end of the month, yet.” I tried to reason with the old woman, but she just scoffed and gave me a glare.

“You have until the end of the week to pay me last month’s and this month’s rent, young lady.” My stomach churned at her words, realizing I didn’t have enough money for that. And I wouldn’t have by the end of the week either, “And stop screaming.”

That was the last straw as my patience evaporated and I snapped at the old hag, eyes narrowed at her, “I’m singing, not screaming!”

The old woman just scoffed and turned on her heels, stalking off as she kept throwing glares at my way, making me grimace at her before I slammed the door shut, doom seemingly looming over my head. I can’t lose the cottage, what am I supposed to do now?!

My free day passed by quickly and I found myself almost oversleeping my shift, having to get ready in a frenzy. Usually the afternoon naps I took to be able to work all night long were short, however, after working all day in the garden beforehand left me tired and I didn’t wake up in time. I was lucky I had prepared my dress before going to sleep and all I had to do was put it on before running out the door, wishing I owned a horse as I would get to the Inn faster. It was a good twenty minutes’ walk away, on top of a hill to make my life even more torturing than it already was. The petite sandals I wore to match the dress weren’t made for running and my feet kept tangling together every second step, making me lose my cool quite quickly. I could usually control my temper, but sometimes the smallest things got to me. However, I managed to be on time and the Inn’s owner gave me a glance and a nod of approval before she told me to put on my apron and start waitering the tables. Thankfully, I managed to convince the owner to allow me to sing in the weekends, entertain the guests a little without her having to pay me for it, the tips of the people would do. At the beginning it was awkward as the people seemed to find it weird, but after getting used to it, more and more people started coming to the Inn, intrigued by the new form of fun. Sometimes drunk sailors who were passing through the city would ask me to sing them old tales, something I didn’t know even existed until now, making me become an expert at them in about just a month. Sometimes people wished for lullabies, some sad ones, and I would do as they asked despite the Inn not being a place for feeling nostalgic. My favorite ones were the catchy ones, to which everyone sang along and sometimes even danced if the atmosphere was right.

Tonight it seemed to be a busy night as all tables were occupied, somebody entering the Inn every fifteen minutes. My act of entertainment lasted less as I had to help out the other girls, but I promised to sing to the people more when I had a little free time, making them cheer loudly. Unfortunately, my singing career hasn’t taken off in the real world like in my fantasy world, I was not invited to wealthy outings. I hoped and prayed every night that it would happen sooner than later, trusting in it and allowing the Heaven’s to guide me. I couldn’t let my dream go to waste; I wouldn’t accept living a normal, regular life. Not when I was talented, not when I loved singing. I knew my worth, I knew I deserved more than working in a run-down Inn, the payment not even enough to live in a nice, small cottage.

“Hey, Y/N, bring us another jug!” I heard a regular calling out drunkenly and I sighed, running up to the bar and filling five jugs with beer. I placed them on my tray and walked up to their table, placing the jugs of beer on the table and taking the empty ones. As I was walking back to the bar to wash the used jugs, I felt someone tugging on my skirt, halting my steps. I turned around, eyebrows furrowed at who was grabbing me.

“Can you bring us more beer too?” It was a man, teeth crocked and clothes dirty, quite foul smelling. I tried to keep a straight face, having not recognized him as he wasn’t a local. I nodded wordlessly and yanked the skirt of my dress out of his grip, sighing to myself. The other girls were working hard, everyone busy with their own tables and I watched one as I filled three more jugs with beer. She was the youngest and quite pretty, but she allowed men to touch her too much. They were all over her, groping her, saying disgusting things to her. And she remained silent, she just took it, and even flirted back, making me feel sick to my stomach. No man has ever touched me, not here and not anywhere else. I wouldn’t allow a lowlife to taint me, when I knew there were good man out there too, the ones who were on my level, the ones who would treat me right. I walked with the jugs of beer back to the table of the unknown man, placing them down on the table. They looked at me and snickered at each other, but I ignored it. I was usually very nice to everyone, always smiling and soft-spoken, but I did not like their approach towards me, therefore I tried to convey the very obvious message without having to say something. However, they seemed to not catch onto it, as the same man who grabbed me before, suddenly held onto my skirt again.

“Listen, pretty lady,” He slurred, making me glare down at him, “We’re just passing through the city and decided to stop here tonight, heard there was a really good singer. And you weren’t just good, look at how beautiful you are too!”

“Thank you.” I managed to say and tried to pull my skirt out of his grip, but he was holding it rather firmly.

“Do you get paid enough?” I didn’t answer his intruding question, just tugged on the skirt again, “Well, there’s always more ways to make money, beautiful, and I could give you not just that, but a memorable night too—”

“Let go of my skirt, right now.” I snapped, my voice raising. The man looked taken aback by my demeanor, all softness and kindness having disappeared.

“That’s not how a lady should talk like—”

“I said, let go of my skirt.” I yanked rather harshly on it, finally getting it free from his grip. The man didn’t seem too happy and when I went to walk away, he grabbed my wrist, looking at me with a sneer.

“You should respect men more—” I chuckled, gripping his wrist back with my other hand, glaring at him as I cut his words off.

“A lowlife like you should respect women more—” Then I squeezed his wrist hard, making him hiss as he released my hand suddenly, “And don’t touch me.”

Well, I have angered the man now, and he stood up, trying to get all up in my face, but I pushed him hard enough to have him sit back down. He was being loud and a few people started glancing our way, “How dare a bitch like you talk to me like that?! As if you don’t sell your body—”

The slap which cut his words off resounded in the whole room, making people look at us wide eyed. The man was speechless for a few seconds, before his hands turned into fists and he jumped up, about to punch me, but a man stood in front of me, gripping the foreigner’s collar, “We don’t appreciate men who hurt women here, buddy.”

It was the regular who asked for beers before these hooligans, “My advice is you either settle down or get lost.”

The regular was a big man and despite his friendly aura and happy demeanor, he was scary whenever he got angry. You rarely saw him angry, so that’s why it was even scarier when he truly was. He was quite gentle with all the girls here and on busy nights we found him lingering around, looking out for us without a reason. Later we found out he was the owner’s nephew and felt like we were exposed to men like this foreigner, who did not know how to behave, quite frequently, so when he had nothing else to do he’d keep an eye out for us.

The owner of the Inn assessed the situation as she came out from the backroom, and quickly approached us, asking her nephew to release the foreigner, “Sir, please calm down and don’t cause a scene—”

“That bitch can’t behave!” The drunk sailor pointed at me as he screamed, making the owner’s nephew take a threatening step towards him. The sailor cowered a little bit and sat down as his comrades started telling him to stop it, realizing the man looking out for me could knock them out in a fight anytime. He was twice their sizes. The owner motioned for me to follow her and I turned at her nephew for a second, thanking him quietly, before walking towards the backroom.

“What happened out there?” She asked as she sat down in her chair, eyebrows furrowed. I sat opposite her, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

“He started touching me and implying disgusting things, so I asked him to stop and he didn’t listen…” I trailed off, looking away as the owner narrowed her eyes at me.

“Did you slap the man?” She knew me too well; I couldn’t even lie. This wouldn’t be the first incident; she has already warned me to behave. I could only hope she wouldn’t fire me; I really didn’t know what I would do next then.

“I did—”

“You should head home,” My eyes widened at the owner’s words, confused as to why, “Your shift would end in an hour either way, so it doesn’t matter much. I don’t have the money, so come back tomorrow for the payment.”

I nodded and got up from the chair, untying the apron from my waist and placing it on her desk, “I’ll see you tomorrow then, good night.” I bowed my head and she stopped me as I got to the door.

“Be careful on your way home, I heard Ateez docked down in the city a few days ago.” When I continued to look confused at my boss, her eyebrows furrowed, “Women have been disappearing, Y/N, I’m telling you to look out.”

“Oh,” I chuckled and brushed off her words, my route not taking me towards the center of the city, “Thank you for your concern, but don’t worry, I’ll be fine.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow then.” My boss muttered and I bowed my head before going outside, leaving through the back of the Inn, not wanting to see that foul foreigner again. I couldn’t guarantee that I wouldn’t have slapped him again if I did see him. Men like him disgusted me. I hated these types of so-called men. They held no value in my eyes, they worth nothing.

I checked my surroundings, my boss’ words getting a little bit to me, but I knew there was nothing to be afraid of. The crime rate in this city was low and since I lived towards the outskirts of it, it was safer than walking towards the center, where the markets were. At night it was littered with drunk men, looking for one-night stands. Perhaps if I lived there, I would have been scared walking alone at night, but here it was fine. I was humming to myself, skipping from one cobalt stone to the other, imagining that I was walking towards my carriage to head back to my little mansion. I would take a bath there, have a ravishing dinner and perhaps gaze at the stars in my rose garden before going to sleep. My butler would be already asleep, and I’d try to remain quiet as to not wake him up, but he’d still wake up, and so I’d ask him to join me in the garden, point out the constellations I was unable to see. He loved astronomy and would talk about it a lot, passing his interest onto me as well. Footsteps behind me made me snap out of my daydream and I looked behind, but nobody was there. I rolled my eyes and continued walking, figuring it was a stray animal or something. But a few minutes later I heard it again, now faster and harder, and before I could panic and take off running, I felt a body collide against mine. I would’ve screamed if it weren’t for the cloth pressed harshly against my mouth and nose, smelling foul, the smell making my throat itch as I inhaled it. I wanted to push this person away, but my muscles went numb fast and my vision started blurring, until it became blacker than the night sky.

My stomach was violently ill when I finally came to it, the stench of fish unbearable as it made me gag. I moved the back of my hand against my nose, trying to repress the smell, but it wasn’t doing much. My ears seemed to be ringing and I was thrown forward, as if something crushed into us. I didn’t understand the predicament I woke up to at first, confusedly looking around, until my eyes fell on the iron bars holding me captive in a small dice shaped cage. The weight around my wrists finally caught my attention and I looked at them flabbergasted, tugging on the chain, to no avail. I was chained against the wall, having little freedom to move around in the cage. My eyebrows furrowed as I tried to remember how and when I got here, but my last memory was of walking home after my boss sent me off. And then it clicked, the foul-smelling cloth pressed against my nose and mouth, I was drugged. I was drugged and brought onto this…ship? A lump formed in my throat as I frantically looked around, assessing the situation, trying to think of something. However, my heart beat faltered when I saw the other girls around me. There were three more cages besides the one I was in and two scared looking girls in each one of them. A quiet whimper caught my attention and I looked to my right, eyes falling on a younger looking girl, who was curled up in a ball, eyes teary. Her wide eyes looked at me, fright bouncing off of her. My heart started beating faster as things started sinking in, and I found it harder to breathe. My throat was closing in on me, restricting any air from getting to my lungs. I tried to divert my attention to anything else, even find comfort in one of my fantasy scenarios, but nothing seemed to work as I felt my face going red, starting to gasp for air.

“Hey, you!” I heard someone slightly raising their voice, making my head snap in their direction. Across from us, in the cage to the right, a middle-aged woman was looking my way, eyebrows furrowed, “What’s your name?”

I licked my lips and tried to suck in a deep breath, but it wasn’t working and I felt like I was about to choke, “No-no, keep breathing, copy me.”

The middle-aged woman started taking deep breaths, counting for me, and I tried to copy her, but nothing happening for a few minutes. Then suddenly, I could feel my throat loosening up and air finally flowing into my lungs, filling them to the brim. I started coughing as I desperately breathed in more air, looking at the woman with gratefulness written all over my face, “My name is Y/N.”

“I’m Hyolin.” She introduced herself and I bowed my head slightly, noticing that she was the only one not crying besides me. Her eyes were red and she kept sniffing, but no tears left her eyes, “We’re on a pirate ship, if you’ve been wondering.”

My heart started beating faster again as I looked around, pulling on the chains of my handcuffs, but they were too strong to break. The chamber was huge and it looked like some sort of basement, filled with supplies, barrels, and a big variety of guns and other weapons. I could see a fishnet filled with a bunch of dead fish and it made my stomach sicker, forcing me to gag as I averted my eyes, falling on my cellmate. She was crying quietly and I fought my own tears from rolling down my cheeks, trying to stop my brain from processing that I was a hostage on a pirate ship.

“For how long was I out?” I whispered to the young girl and she jumped, slowly looking at me. Her body was shaking and she looked at the floor before whispering back that I was out for a whole day. It felt like a punch to my gut and I looked away biting my lower lip, realizing that if I was out for a whole day, we have sailed out onto the sea already, taking me far away from my home. My head started thumping suddenly, all of my dreams slipping right through my fingers. I would never become a famous singer, I would never live a lavished life, I will never be remembered. Instead, I would be either sold off or killed, forever lost on the sea or in some creepy man’s basement. The first tear trickled down my cheek and I quickly wiped it off, the commotion behind the heavy wooden door making my body tremble. There were multiple male voices behind the door before it slowly opened, strong light flooding inside as they walked down the stairs, stalking towards our cages. All of us tried to make ourselves look smaller as the three pirates stopped in front of our cages, looking left and right before opening the cage across from ours.

“Stand up, all of you.” The man inside the respective cage demanded, his voice harsh and frightening, so we did as told. I could only see his backside, but he had jet-black hair and his shoulders were wide and concealed by a black leather jacket. The man seemed to be inspecting all of us, murmuring to himself about our looks. Normally, I wouldn’t have allowed him to make such comments, but right now I was not in a favorable position and my body was shaking from fear. I had no idea why he was doing this and I was scared that one wrong move would get me killed. On this ship I couldn’t do much but try and survive, however, once on land, I could try and run away, asking for help and making sure these monsters were behind bars, in a real prison. The tallest of the three seemed to notice my piercing gaze and I quickly looked down when he raised his eyebrows, lips pulling into an amused smile. There was nothing amusing about this situation.

“So, what do you think?” The other guy, who was the shortest out of them all and had a white cloth wrapped around his right forearm, signaling that he was the Captain, asked in a quite bored tone.

“They aren’t the brightest so far.” The man inspecting us dared to say with a sneer, checking the other girls. My blood boiled at his words, but I bit my lip and continued glaring at the floor.

“We can’t afford making a shitty deal, San.” The Captain snapped, arms crossed in front of his chest, “Not after Yuri almost destroyed our ship and Jongho released our Siren.”

The tallest scratched his nape, pouting, “Well, it wasn’t entirely Jongho’s fault, Captain…we should probably thank the Siren he’s still alive, to be honest—”

“Whatever, Mingi,” The Captain snapped, shooting him a glare, “If we don’t get high payment on these girls I’m afraid we’ll have to return to our old ways of survival for a while.”

San, the one checking all girls, opened our cage as he snickered, “I don’t mind at all. It’s been too long since I had bloodied my sword.”

My body shivered and my cellmate started crying loudly as San touched her hair, moving it out of her face, forcing her to look him in the eyes. I wished I could’ve punched the man and held the crying girl, but I was rooted to my place, just as frightened as her. I refused to show my true feelings, however, having no intention of showing weakness to these monsters. I tensed up once I saw a pair of glistening black shoes stop in front of me, the man’s presence powerful. I lowered my head even more, for once wishing I had longer hair so that it would cover my face, restrict the men from seeing it. San tsked as he harshly grabbed my chin and raised my head by it, our eyes finding each other. Perhaps in a different scenario I would’ve been easily charmed by the man standing in front of me, his beauty unmatched. His jet-black hair fell messily on his forehead, he had clearly run his fingers through it numerous times. His sharp, slit like eyes, their color a deep brown were intense, keeping you pinned to your place, and I found myself scared to even breathe as we stared each other down. His lips were plump and glistened from having licked them just seconds ago, the bridge of his nose tall, complimenting his manly face well. He was intimidating and I fought against my will of wanting to cover away from him, refusing to show him any fear despite the very obvious tears gathered up in my eyes. Suddenly, he chuckled and smirked, eyes running all over my face, then down my body before stopping on my hair again.

“I knew you’d bring us a lot of money when I spotted you last night,” My jaw clenched as his words made the Captain and the other man, called Mingi, look my way, “You’re drop dead gorgeous, angel, pity your hair isn’t longer, you would’ve made us even more money.”

My jaw clenched and I ripped my head out of his hold, looking off to the side, head turned away from him. I couldn’t believe such malice could hide behind such a beautiful face. I hated him as he chuckled, looking me over one more time before he walked out of our cage, locking the iron door behind him, smirking at the Captain.

“We’ll be filthy rich, Hongjoong.” San said with the evilest laughter I’ve ever heard and the other two men chuckled as the three of them took off, headed for the stairs. The silence was deafening as we waited for them to be gone, and I felt the tears finally streaming down my cheeks once they were out the door, locking it behind them. My knees gave out and I fell down, holding my head in my hands as I started sobbing loudly. I felt the pitiful gazes of the other girls and it made me cry even harder. I wished I was so ugly they would just feed me to the sharks, at least I could try and swim away then, have a chance at saving myself. I couldn’t lose my perfect life like this, I just couldn’t.

We couldn’t tell whether it was day or night due to being locked down here, but when Mingi walked in with a few more lanterns and muttered that he’d bring us dinner soon, we realized it was probably around the evening. Everyone seemingly had calmed down a little bit since San examined us, the girls constantly giving me pitiful glances. I hated it, wanted to ask them to stop, but remained quiet. If they thought they were safe because San called just me beautiful, I wouldn’t want to destroy their small sense of security, because I knew how much it meant. I tried to distract myself multiple times, the rocking of the boat making me sleepy but I refused to sleep, scared that the pirates would do something to me. No matter how hard I tried to imagine that I was in a different place, finding a fitting scenario for my current reality, it never lasted for too long. The image became blurry until it disappeared altogether, making me sit on the floor with my back against the wall defeated, wondering where they were taking us. I was from the South Kingdom, living on the furthest island from the mainland. It would take around four to five days to travel between the two on a big ship, but I didn’t know how big and fast these pirates ship was, so I couldn’t judge how much it would take us to arrive. I assumed they were taking us to the Capital, but I wasn’t even sure why I was captured in the first place. Hyolin, who turned out to be the oldest amongst us girls, seemed to be the only one fully understanding the situation, but she refused to tell us. She asked us if we’ve heard about Ateez and Choi San, and remained silent after hearing our answers. I did know Ateez was a pirate crew, but I didn’t know who Choi San was…until today. I assumed he was some sort of trader, but his physique said otherwise. His muscular and well-defined body begged to differ, and the big sword secured around his hips also proved my theory to be true. He was probably something like a soldier, not a trader. I had no idea what ranks pirates had on their ships, but I imagined San to be at the front leading, fighting the enemy.

Not knowing what to do with myself anymore, I found myself quietly humming as three girls had fallen asleep, curled up on the cold floor into themselves, hugging their torsos. The young girl sharing the cage with me had calmed down hours ago, but she wouldn’t stop sniffing and rocking back and forth. She also wasn’t talking to us, so I figured I could try and distract her with a sailor song I knew. I found myself quietly singing, staring off into the distance, looking at nothing in particular as I lost myself in the story of the song. It was about a young woman who lived by the beach by herself and wished to meet her lover who got lost on the sea years ago. They would have been married already, but the mates of her lover said he got shoved into the sea by a big wave, forever lost to the water. The young woman never believed her lover was dead, her gut telling her that he’d return home to her and they’d live a happy life together. And she seemed to be right as one night someone knocked on her door, making her almost faint. It was her lover and he looked better than ever. She flung herself in his arms and they cried for hours, the man telling her everything that’s happened to him after he fell in the sea. Apparently, some mermaids saved him but kept him hostage, scared that he’d lead other sailors to their lair. After years of teaching them about humans and helping them whenever one of them was sick, they finally released the man, trusting him enough to keep the secret about their existence. The woman couldn’t care less about mermaids and finding them, her biggest treasure was sitting right in front of her, all she needed was him.

“Your voice is so beautiful.” The young girl spoke up for the first time willingly since we’ve been here, her voice high pitched and shaky. I looked at her surprised, and smiled at her softly.

“Thank you, dear.” I whispered, resting my chin on my knees, which were pulled up to my chest.

“Where did you learn to sing like that?” She asked, finally willing to converse with us. She had nothing to lose by doing so at this point.

“Nowhere,” I sighed, playing with the skirt of my dress, “My grandparents once took me to their good friends when I was little and they asked if I played any instrument. When I told them I didn’t they told me I could always try and sing, use my own voice as an instrument.”

The young girl listened closely, looking a little curious, “You’ve been singing for a long time, then. Are you famous?”

I chuckled and shook my head, “No, not even a little bit.”

A gloomy feeling seemed to loom over our heads as I sighed loudly, closing my eyes, “It was my dream…to become famous. To sing for the wealthy. To be invited to gatherings and the Royal family’s balls as a performer, but—now I’m a prisoner on a pirate ship. I’ll never become a well-known singer. All of my hard-work was in vain, I just—I wish I was rather dead, than on this ship.”

An amused deep chuckle made all the girls still awake tense. The young girl beside me hid her face again, turning into the wall, her whole body shaking again. I opened my eyes and looked up, startled to find San standing right outside my cage. When did he get here? And how did we not hear him or even notice him until now? His lips were pulled into a twisted smile, looking very amused as he unlocked the door. I watched as he took a step inside, placing a tray of food down on the floor, never breaking eye contact with me. The young girl started whimpering, irritating me to no end, but I didn’t show my feelings. I tried to remain neutral as San stared me down, challenging me with his gaze to look away, to succumb to him. But I would never do that, I refused to cover in front of a lowlife like him.

“You’re not just beautiful, you have a beautiful voice too.” He said sounding almost amazed, an excited glint in his eyes, “You’ll be worth more than I thought initially.”

His words made me gulp and my palms turn into fists, but I refrained myself from saying anything, refusing to feed his energy with mine by being weak. San smirked and slightly leaned down, tilting his head to the side as I glared at him, “And forget about dying, beautiful, because nothing harmful will happen to you as long as you’re under my watch.”

But he was the reason I was even placed in a harmful situation. It was his fault that once we’re on the mainland something horrible will happen to me, to the other women in these cages. It was his fault that I would never achieve my dreams, it being the very few reason I found living worth. I acted without thinking, without considering that the tray of food was both for myself and my cellmate, without considering how hungry she must’ve been, forgetting how hungry I was myself. I kicked the tray with my leg, food getting on the floor, glaring at San with full hatred as his eyes slightly widened, his smug expression slipping for a second. He was far away from me, but it felt like he was breathing down my neck as he stood up straight, wide shoulders pulled back, jaw clenching. His gaze made me shiver involuntarily and he was out of the cage, slamming the door shut before locking it. The young girl jumped and I remained staring at San until he was out of the room, Mingi being the one to bring the other women their dinners. I wanted nothing more but to escape this hell.

One or two days have passed since we’ve been taken prisoners on the pirate ship, but I couldn’t really pin point how much time has passed since I was kidnapped. It was continuously dark down here, where they kept us, and if it weren’t for Mingi always announcing what type of meal he was bringing for us, I wouldn’t have even known what time of the day it was. The atmosphere was quite somber as everyone was scared for their own lives, covering away whenever San entered the room. He kept coming down, sometimes laughing at us and teasing us with vile words, words I tuned out once I realized how foul of a person he was. He did this for his own enjoyment, because he liked seeing us scared and helpless. If I wasn’t on a ship, behind bars, I would’ve stood up for myself, making sure he never disrespected a woman ever again. But I couldn’t do that here, not when my scared cellmate started crying as San told us to change our clothes in front of him. She was begging him to turn around, embarrassed and humiliated when he slapped her hard, shouting at her to shut up. My body was shaking from anger and I clenched my hands into fists, trying to keep my breathing even, not wanting him to see how easily he could get a reaction from me. He smirked the whole time, entertained by the whole ordeal as the girls sniffled and whimpered while changing, covering underneath his intense gaze.

I didn’t feel better than them, I felt violated as his gaze ran over my body hungrily once I was out of my second-hand dress, the silk nightgown I was wearing the only thing concealing my private parts from unwanted eyes. I felt humiliated when he muttered that my freckle covered body was exotic and men would kill each other to get their hands on me, but I didn’t let any emotion show on my face as I held eye contact with him, chin high, as I pulled on the simple white dress he brought for us, staring him down spitefully. San seemed to be enjoying it, eyebrows raising when I threw my dress in front of his feet, making him bend down and pick it up himself, unlike the other girls who handed him their own dresses themselves. I could play innocent and fragile, and I would do just that, but not when my privacy and decency were being violated. Not when I wasn’t treated like a human being, not when I wasn’t respected. San’s lips pulled up in a wide grin, dimples forming on his cheeks, but he didn’t seem happy as he eyed the dress in front of him, shaking his head as he sucked on his cheeks. He probably didn’t expect any type of disrespect or challenge from any of us, thinking we were too scared to stand up for ourselves. But what could happen to me other than dying, while I was on this ship? Nothing, nothing that could scare me into subordination. Despite thinking that San would throw a fit and make me grab my dress and hand it to him, he didn’t, he just leaned down and picked it up, feeling the fabric of it.

“For someone who regards themselves so highly, you look rather cheap, Y/N.” I chuckled, his words triggering me enough to finally show just how irritated I was, but I remained silent. His gaze pinned me to my spot, challenging me as he waited for a retort, but nothing happened. I didn’t speak, didn’t move. He didn’t speak, he didn’t move. It was so quiet in the chamber, that I thought the other girls stopped breathing. A ruckus upstairs seemed to get San’s attention, and finally someone called out to him, telling him to go help them. Our stare down finally came to an end and San walked away with a smirk, dangling the keys to our cages in his hands mockingly. If I could, I would’ve punched him unconscious right then and there, but the chains and iron bars were in my way, so I had to settle with the power of my imagination, where San wasn’t even breathing anymore.

Dinner time had approached once again, and us, the girls, had somewhat calmed down from the whole fiasco from earlier. It took a lot of coercing and encouragement from us for my cellmate to finally stop crying and I sung her whatever songs she wanted to hear, finally lightening her mood. Somehow I got her to smile as Hyolin and I told her funny happenings from our jobs, Hyolin being a baker. The young girl, who’s name we finally found out, was Eunchae. She was barely seventeen and it broke my heart that she was here with us, her whole youth stolen from her. It’s not like I was much older than her, but at least I got to live my life a little bit up until now. She told us her mother had only her and relied on her, so Eunchae was scared what would happen to her mother now that she’s disappeared from her life. We tried reassuring her that her mother would probably figure something out, but it only made Eunchae cry again. I felt bad, so bad for her. And promised myself, that if I could somehow save myself from this nightmare, I’d take her with me. Hyolin was a strong woman, I knew I didn’t have to worry much for her and the other women with us seemed to like her more than Eunchae or I, which was probably good. If Hyolin tried to break free as well, they’d follow her no doubt.

When the heavy door opened, everyone tensed and we watched as Mingi and San walked down with trays of food, each one of them handing them out to two cages. Of course, it came as no surprise, as San chose Eunchae and I’s cage, his eyes amused as I avoided his stare, preoccupied with my nails which had gotten a bit dirty. I didn’t want to see him after what he did earlier, anger cursing through my veins just at the memory of it. But I had to be smart. I was smart despite what everyone thought about me. I survived this long after my grandparents deaths thanks to it. I could be soft and persuasive, fragile looking, in the eyes of men. I knew I played my cards a little bit wrong until now in front of San, but damage control was still doable. I could still act dainty, and blame my previous behavior on the stress I was feeling, if he asked. Once he placed the tray of food on the floor for us, he didn’t leave the cage, just looked around, before leaning against the bars with a smug look, crossing his arms in front of his chest. Today he was wearing a casual fit, a white shirt which was barely buttoned, tucked inside his leather pants. He had two swords on each side of his hips and a long, dark blue, coat kept him warm from the harsh wind up on the deck. My body ached for some sunlight and a breeze, but I knew it wasn’t possible until I was on this ship.

“Well, I come bearing good news,” My heart shouldn’t have skipped a beat at his words, knowing not to hope for anything good since it was coming from this lowlife pirate, “we’re docking down tomorrow on the mainland, isn’t that exciting?”

Nobody answered his question, my body tense as my eyebrows furrowed. What would that mean? What would happen to us?

“Isn’t that exciting?” He repeated himself, his voice hard and it made Eunchae whimper as she quickly nodded her head, afraid he’d slap her again. My blood boiled, but I ignored it, having to play coy for once again.

“One small advice,” San dragged his words out, eyes falling on me, burning a hole in the side of my head, “When you’ll be no longer with me, behave, and your lives will be easier. Men don’t like stubborn and rude women, they like them weak and respectful, especially the men I do business with.”

I wanted to tell him to go jump off the ship, become the sharks dinner, but I bit my lower lip and gulped, still refusing to look at him, knowing very well he was directing his words mainly at me. But I still didn’t fully understand why I was here, and I wanted to know. Hyolin seemed to have accepted her fate long ago, but didn’t care to share it with us, seeing that we were quite literally in the same boat.

“What—” I stuttered, hoping it would look authentic as my voice was small, “What will happen to us once—once we’ll get to the mainland?”

I stared at the floor, playing my role, hopefully, well, “A couple of things, beautiful, but the most important one is that you’ll bring me tons of money.”

I gulped, “How?”

San chuckled as if my question was the funniest ever, crouching down, lowering his head as he was trying to make eye contact with me, but I didn’t look his way, “How, you ask? By selling your body for me.”

My blood ran cold when I heard his words, and my heart started beating like crazy, ears suddenly turning red. My hands started shaking and I clenched them into fists, hoping he wouldn’t notice as San stared at me with a crazed look in his eyes. No, this couldn’t be happening. I was pure, I was untouched, I couldn’t let men just…ruin my life like that. I had full autonomy over my body, nobody could take that away from me. Not San. Not anyone else. I let out a quiet breath, trying to think of a way of saving myself, of charming San into letting me off. I would be betraying the other women here with me, but I had to try. And if I succeeded, perhaps I could help them too later on.

“You—you said I have a beautiful voice—” I wasn’t faking my stutter anymore, my thoughts were so jumbled together that I didn’t know what I wanted to say first, “I can sing for you, entertain your men for you. My body—my body is not worth more than my voice, I—I can make you richer with my talent, I—”

“Angel,” San cut me off, slightly coming closer, voice almost softening, “If I wanted to make you a famous singer, you wouldn’t be here right now. And your voice isn’t worth more than your body.”

I gulped, feeling dread settling in my stomach. This really was the worst that could have ever happened to me. I shook my head slowly, feeling the tears in my eyes, but I didn’t let them fall. I couldn’t humiliate myself even more, not in front of this monster. San seemed to have lost interest in me as he stood up straight, smoothing out his coat, looking down at me with an amused expression.

“Did you think I kidnapped you to make you a princess, Y/N? This is the real world, not some sort of fantasy land. We all have to make money in some way—”

“But you’re selling women, to make money.” My voice was harsh as I snapped, raising my head, finally looking at him. I knew my face was red from anger, my cheeks burning as I pushed myself up, standing tall, yet shorter than San, “You’re using humans to make money, to live a lavished life, while you make others miserable. While you steal our lives away, you get to live a free life—”

“Not everything is fair in life, angel.” San said with a nonchalant shrug, seemingly amused by my outburst, only fueling my anger.

“Something not being fair in life means getting fired from your job, it means losing a loved one, it means working-hard yet never quite achieving your dreams not—not getting kidnapped off the streets by someone who’s playing God!” I couldn’t help it as I screamed at him by the end of my sentence, breathing hard and wishing my glare could kill him. San didn’t seem so amused anymore, his eyes narrowing at me, “A lowlife like you shouldn’t even look in our direction, San."

San tsked, letting out a loud laugh, startling the other women as they watched me with fearful eyes, Eunchae shaking her head, begging me to stop with her eyes, “Is that how you see me? What you think of me? A lowlife?”

“Have you never been insulted by a woman before?” I raised my eyebrows mockingly, watching San stalk towards me slowly, “Did you think just because you view us as some objects we wouldn’t have a brain to think with and to feel with? Can you even sell me off if I will not behave like a doll?”

“Yes,” San nodded, chuckling, stopping right in front of me, eyes piercing mine, “I can still sell you, because there’s some men who love it when their objects have a big mouth and more than two thoughts in their skulls, makes it more exciting, you know? More satisfying to see them succumb to them. More enticing when they fight back, only to be disciplined in mere minutes—”

It took me a great deal of self-control to not step back as San invaded my personal space, stopping just inches away from me as his voice dropped to a low whisper, “It makes it so fucking hot when you finally get to fuck them dumb into the mattress, making them a mess of cries and pleas, asking you to stop but they are never in charge, even if you let them think so for a moment.”

My lips parted in shock and I couldn’t help but gasp at his vulgar words, taking a step back, but San reacted fast as his hand was in my hair, yanking my head back, making me yelp. I had no time to react as something sharp and cold was pressed against my neck, making me freeze as I was afraid to even breathe, “I know the type of woman you are, angel. You act fragile and sweet as long as things are going your way, but once you realize you’re at disadvantage your true self starts showing. You can’t manipulate me and you can’t make me feel bad for you, because I don’t give a shit about you, angel. All I see is a bunch of coins in return for you body when I look at you, and that’s all I need. What happens to you after you’re free from my hands, I don’t give two shits about. You can go jump off a cliff or you can live the miserable life you were going to live either way in that small, foul and good for nothing city, Y/N. I made it worse, perhaps, or I made it better. I’ll never find out.”

“You have no idea what life I was living,” I breathed out, voice shaky as the knife pressed against my Adam’s apple, “But I can promise you that I will ruin you.”

San’s gaze melted into mine, his face lowering, our noses almost touching. My heartbeat faltered for a second and I shrunk back a little bit, his dominating aura finally getting to me. I hated him, so much, and I hoped he could see it in my eyes, in my expression. He should just kill me right now, making his own life easier. I always kept my promises, and this was my promise to him. I would make sure he’d be ruined once I was sold off. Suddenly, San started laughing loudly and he pushed me away, making me fall into the iron bars as I was thrown off balance, making the others stare at the ground as his wild eyes looked around, challenging the other women to say anything. Nobody seemed to be able to do so and he left us alone, not even bothering to lock my cell door, showing just how much power he held over us. How little good my outburst did.

Our night was sleepless after my little fiasco and the other women were beyond frightened, whispering amongst each other, sometimes throwing glares my way. I couldn’t care less, I didn’t do anything wrong, I did no harm to them, I just ruined my chances of ever getting out of here unscratched. It was hilarious how my plan backfired on me, but it only showed how unlucky I have been lately. Nothing was going my way and nothing would ever go my way from now on. When the heavy door finally opened again, everyone knew it was the morning. Everyone knew we got to the mainland. Everyone knew our doom was closer than ever. It was Mingi again, with San walking after him. Mingi was holding a bunch of clothes, their color an ugly orange, and he opened all the cages, handing us the dresses as we stood ready. He was respectful enough to walk away once we had the dresses in our hands, knowing that we’d have to change now. San, just like last time, remained, watching us with a very pleased expression on his face.

“Well, ladies,” He said in a cheery voice, walking down between the cages, “We have finally arrived, I hope you enjoyed sailing with Ateez.”

I sneered at his words, but undressed myself, staring at the dress in my hands with disgust. It was heavy in my hands, and thick, the design tasteless the longer I looked at it. I couldn’t believe I was forced to dress into something so atrocious, but I just swallowed and pulled it on, instantly regretting it. It stuck to my skin and warmed me up, making my skin itchier. I haven’t washed up in days and it was only making me feel dirtier than I already was. San just smiled at me, not sincere nor happy, just mocking as his eyes ran over my body.

“What a fall from grace, angel, I suppose a dress like that wasn’t on your wish list, was it?” I scoffed and look at him as I have finished tying the front of the dress together.

“Orange is not my color, so thank you, for making me look uglier.” I bowed my head mockingly at him, his lean frame leaning against the doorway of the cage.

“I don’t mean to sadden you, but the men won’t be looking at your dress at all, angel, just at your pretty face.” Something wasn’t right about the dress though, it was sitting weirdly against my collarbones, I could feel it. I pulled on the sleeves of it, but it didn’t do much to fix the feeling, and San rolled his eyes before he walked up to me. I stepped back slightly, trying to maintain a normal distance between our bodies, but he just kept walking towards me until my back hit the wall, leaving no space for me to escape. My heart started thumping fast and I couldn’t help the sudden heat on my cheeks, so I just looked away, trying to conceal my face from him. He chuckled, but paid no mind as he raised his hand, about to touch the collar of my dress, right above my breast, but I slapped his hand away, whipping my head around to face him. San raised an eyebrow but tried to touch me again, and I just slapped his hand away again, but before I could lower my hand, he caught my wrist in his hand, holding me firmly.

“Don’t you think if I wanted to do anything to you I would’ve done it already?” He asked quietly, both eyebrows raised as he studied my face. I gulped but didn’t look away, just ripped my wrist out of his hand. He huffed and touched the collar of my dress again, not gentle at all, as he yanked on the fabric, making me gasp. Suddenly, a white collar, which I haven’t noticed was there before, came up from underneath my dress, going from my breasts up to my shoulders. I tensed when San’s finger lightly grazed against my skin, too close to my breast, but when I looked at him, he was already looking at me. I hissed and held his wrist the same way he held mine.

“You fixed the dress already,” I snapped, “No need to keep touching me.”

“I was just checking to make sure I did it right.” San answered smugly and I released his wrist, pushing him slightly back, hoping he’d get the message to disappear and leave me alone. He chuckled and batted his eye lashes at me mockingly before he turned around to walk away. I glared at the back of his head, wishing he would just disappear, never to be seen or heard of. I figured he wouldn’t be easy to take down in a fight due to his physique and sheer force he always seemed to use, but what if his attacker had the element of surprise? What if he didn’t see nor hear his attacker? What if he never even thought that person would attack him?

Without a second thought, my body flung into motion, acting on its own. I strained the chains of the handcuffs connected together and charged towards San as he was still close enough to attack from behind. I got on my tip toes and threw the chain around his neck, pulling it harshly towards me. The other girls exclaimed loudly as San gasped, his hands holding onto the chain barely, trying to pull it away from his throat, but I used all my force and power to choke him. Eunchae started crying loudly as San tried gasping for air, his body falling into mine almost as I applied even more force, panting as San was fighting back. My arms were straining and my wrists started aching from the handcuffs, but I didn’t stop pulling on the chain, determined to get the others and myself out of here before it was too late. But my initial thoughts about San turned out to be true, he was a lot stronger than he looked like, and with one harsh tug, I face planted into his wide and firm back, knowing that I messed up really bad now. The other girls suddenly went quiet and all was heard was San’s ragged breathing, his back moving up and down quickly. I shuddered and prepared myself for the repercussion of my actions, which came straight away. San turned around and his dark eyes fell on mine as he grabbed me by the hair harshly, a new glint in his eyes as he watched me enraged. My cuffed hands were behind his back now and I tried to break free, raise the chain over his head and push him away, but San didn’t allow me to do so. His flexed palm came flying towards my face and I tried to cover away, but to my surprise, he hit my Adam’s apple with such force that all air left my lungs instantly, making me fall forward, into him. Despite trying to breathe, my throat closed up and I could do nothing as I started choking in San’s arms, his hand still holding my hair harshly, looking down at me. As dark spots appeared in my vision I could swear San’s eyes softened just a bit, a sinister smirk appearing on his lips. And then everything went black.

After getting knocked unconscious I woke up to being carried by San, the hot sun beaming down on my face. I gasped as I looked around, noticing that we were off the ship, even far away from the shore. Eunchae seemed to be walked by Mingi meanwhile another woman by a man I didn’t know, leading the group. I wasn’t chained up anymore and as I looked around, assessing the situation, San gave me one warning glare and muttered that if I tried running away or creating a scene he’d slit my throat before I could scream. That scared me enough to behave as we were led towards a run-down looking house, somewhere in the town. San placed me down minutes ago and I was able to walk on my own, his firm grip around my forearm keeping me close to his body. I took in our surroundings, trying to find a way of escape once San wasn’t by my side anymore, but we were quickly shoved inside the house, walked to a backroom, loud manly voices coming through the only other door in the room. My heart was in my throat, and I found myself sweating profoundly as San finally released me, giving me a glance before he disappeared through the door. I tried to take a peak while the door was open, and my heart sank when I saw tons of men in the other room. Was this really how our life would be from now on? Sold again and again, corrupted and used? I bit my lower lip and looked around the room, trying to find an exit, but there were no windows and the only door leading outside was blocked by Mingi, who seemed very focused in guarding the door. His eyebrows were furrowed and he looked straight ahead, his hands clasped together in front of his body. He probably felt my gaze on him as he spared a glance my way, but when the other door opened, he quickly looked away. San stepped inside and dragged Hyolin away, slamming the door shut behind him. Eunchae started whimpering again as the other women gathered together, holding each other tightly. I found myself looking between the door and Mingi, begging with my eyes for him to let us go, but he wouldn’t look at me again. As Eunchae started crying, I found myself hugging her tightly, patting her head, telling her that everything would be alright. But nothing would be. She’ll be tainted, and I’ll be tainted too for life. I thought the Heavens wouldn’t do such thing to a human, but I realized my prayers were futile right now. No divine God would save me anymore. The door opened again and San took away another woman. Then another. And another. Two more went and when the door opened again, his eyes fell on Eunchae and I. I knew he’d come our way, so I pushed Eunchae behind myself and stood tall and fearless, staring him down. A smirk appeared on his lips as he stopped a few steps away from me, going to grab my cheek. I flinched and closed my eyes, but suddenly Eunchae’s wail snapped me back to reality, my eyes widening as San started pulling her after him.

“No—no—San—” But his glare instantly silenced me as he reached the door, eyes ablaze. Eunchae tried to wipe her tears away out of fear and tried to look somewhat composed, but one warning look from San made them fall again. I went to run up to them, but the other woman remaining in the room with me grabbed my wrist as San and Eunchae disappeared through the door, the young girl never to be seen again. My heart clenched and I wanted to cry out. I wanted to trash the room we were in. I wanted to rip the dress of myself and I wanted someone to punch me until my face was all bruised up, never to be called beautiful again. I hated everything about this. The tug on my wrist was harsh and I sniffed as I came face to face with the other woman, whose name was Dahyun.

“Pull it together,” She snapped, her own eyes teary, “You were the bravest out of all of us, if anyone can escape this, it’s you.”

I sniffed, a few tears falling from my eyes, “But he took Eunchae, I can’t run off like that—all of you will suffer, I can’t—”

“Stop thinking about us.” Dahyun’s voice raised but she glanced at Mingi and continued in a whisper, “We’re a lost cause, we don’t matter anymore. Save yourself while you can, Y/N, San seems to have taken a slight liking to you, use that to your advantage. You can charm anyone you want to.”

Her words gave me a little courage and I wiped my tears away, muttering a quiet ‘alright’ as the door opened and San looked inside. How did Eunchae get sold so fast? All of the other girls took around five to ten minutes, it’s been barely three. My heart clenched as I tried looking through the open door, the younger girl nowhere in sight. Dahyun seemed to have understood San as she sighed and released me, placing on a poker face as she walked towards him, brushing his hand off her forearm as she walked through the door by herself. San’s eyes met mine and his face was unreadable as he closed the door. I was next. I was the last one. After this, San would walk back to the pirate ship rich and I would walk away with a destroyed life. I had to stop this. I couldn’t just stand here and wait for my awful fate to happen.

“Do you enjoy this?” I found myself turning around, glaring at Mingi, “Watching women get sold off to some disgusting pigs?!”

Mingi didn’t react as he stared at the wall blankly, “Does it bring satisfaction to you seeing us in pain and despair? Are we really just some objects in your eyes?”

I was trying to make him feel any sort of emotion, but Mingi just sighed and slightly glanced at me.

“Please, I don’t deserve this—”

“I know, but it’s none of my business what happens here.” Mingi finally has had enough, his eyebrows furrowed as he looked at me with pity, “Everyone on the ship makes money in their own ways and I won’t sabotage San’s way of working.”

I gulped, trying to convince him somehow to let me go, “This is not about San, Mingi. This is about you. Your morals and what you believe in. Your dignity and respect for others—for women.”

“Shut up, please,” The tall man looked at me defeated, his hands clenched into fists, “once San decides to do something, nobody can stop him. If you think me stepping aside and letting you run away will help, will save you, trust me…it won’t. You could hide anywhere in the four seas and four kingdoms, and San would still find you. And once he does, he won’t be nice to you, he won’t try and sell you off again, Y/N. He’ll torture you until you’re barely breathing and then he’ll kill you in the slowest way possible, making you regret that you dared run away. He’s scarier than you think and he’s certainly more dangerous than you could ever imagine.”

I opened my mouth to say something, but the door opened behind me again. Mingi tensed and quickly averted his eyes back onto the wall, San raising an eyebrow at him as he walked up to me, grabbing my forearm and whirling me around. My jaw clenched and I looked to the side, ignoring San’s burning gaze on my face. I knew he wanted me to look at him, but I wouldn’t. I had enough of his disgusting face. Not wasting any more seconds, he started walking, dragging me after him as my legs refused to move on their own. I really didn’t want to go through the door and when San’s hand gripped the knob, I panicked.

“Please,” I gasped out, hands flying up and holding his cheeks, San’s eyes going wide, “Please, don’t do this to me. I can make you rich in other ways. I can—I can work for you for the rest of my life, please, don’t sell me off. I’ve—I’ve never been touched—by a man before—”

It felt humiliating admitting this to him, but this was my last chance, I had to do my best. San’s dark colored eyes stared deeply into mine, seemingly lost in them as I cupped his cheeks firmly, standing on my tip toes to try and make this more intimate. All I could do was whisper, too scared that my voice would shake if I spoke any louder, “I can sing, I have a beautiful voice. I’m sure you have connections, if you place me amongst wealthy people I can perform for them and all the money will go to you. All you have to do is give me pretty dresses and I’ll handle the rest myself, please, San.”

I really thought my words got through to him as he relaxed in my hold, one hand gently holding my hand against his cheek. He sucked in a deep breath and then his eyes hardened, making me shake my head in a plea. San slowly peeled my hands off his cheeks, tugging me closer as our noses were just inches away from each other.

“Behave.” Was all he said before the door was opened and I was walked outside, the breath knocked from my lungs as I took in the sight before me. At least fifteen men were in the room, sitting helter-skelter and watching me with curious eyes, which slowly turned lustful. I felt my body shake as San still held onto me harshly, making sure I wouldn’t run away. My legs felt numb, even if I tried to, I wouldn’t have been able to move. All of my nightmares sat right in front of me and I bit my lower as San cleared his throat.

“Im Y/N.” His voice held authority as he looked down on everyone, eyes slits, “Quite the beauty, as you can see. She’s a little bit temperamental, but she’s got a rather calm and sweet nature. And I can assure you her voice is just as beautiful as her face and body.”

My jaw clenched and I side glanced San, feeling his grip tighten around me in warning. Everyone was quiet as they watched me and when San nudged me, I understood. He wanted me to sing. But I didn’t want to sing. I felt like a bird held in a cage, only used when needed, never to be free again. Like an imprisoned nightingale. I gulped once and closed my eyes, sighing loudly. If he wanted me to sing, I would sing. The first few octaves were quiet and frail as my voice wavered, but I quickly corrected my pitch and started singing the song about a poor girl taken hostage in a fire exchange between bandits and the constables, only to die an unfortunate death when her kidnapper accidentally killed her after promising to release her once the constables stopped chasing them. The song was short and sad, it usually made people cry, even I felt like crying right now, understanding the poor girl from the song very well. Claps erupted throughout the room, but I didn’t open my eyes, I didn’t want to see who would be my buyer. San had to say nothing as the men started shouting ridiculous sums of money, each one of them trying to be the highest bidding. The room went silent when a deep voice shouted that they were offering five gold bars and a sack full of coins. I heard San gasping quietly beside me and my eyes flew open, falling on a man in his mid-thirties, a black mustache on his face. His eyes were kind and his face friendly as he smiled at me, dressed better than anyone else in the room. Why did he want me? To make me his own captive bird? Despite being the most well dressed in the room, and the kindest and purest looking, there was something in his eyes which sent chills down my body and I knew that my life wouldn’t be long next to that man.

“Sold to the man with the white hat!” San suddenly exclaimed, beaming at the man and bowing his head as he started dragging me back to the room I was held in until now. I looked at him confused, but when he opened the door, Mingi already had a white dress in his hands, waiting for me. San said nothing as he pushed me inside and then slammed the door shut behind me, leaving me with Mingi. My heart was beating like crazy when Mingi walked up to me, carefully extending his arms for me to take the dress, but my legs gave out and I fell forward. Mingi went stiff as I held onto him, suddenly crying into his chest, too short to reach any higher. It took him a few seconds before he reacted, but he started patting my back awkwardly, trying to calm me down. I was bawling by now and I realized how vulnerable Mingi was being right now, perhaps the Heaven’s offered me one last chance. A chance I instantly took. I gripped his arms firmly and kneeled him in the crotch abruptly, making him cry out. I pushed him away and raced towards the door, finding it unlocked. I flung it open and cried out in happiness, not looking back as I took off sprinting, trying to find the center of the town we were in, needing to find the constable this instant. My dress was too long and too thick, but I didn’t care as I raised them above my knees and ran around like a mad woman, getting strange looks from the people walking down the streets, my cheeks still wet from my tears. I was panting by the time I made it to the busier part of the town and I allowed myself to stop for a minute to try and catch my breath. People walked around, all busy with their own things, merchants shouting whatever they had to offer at their stalls. The sun beamed down on me and I couldn’t have felt even more blessed as I allowed myself to chuckle in pure happiness. I was free.

I looked around again, and to utmost luck, my eyes fell on a man wearing a uniform, signaling he was from the night watch. It didn’t matter what his function was as long as he was a figure of authority, someone whom I could ask for help from. The officer was looking around too, watching the people, and when his eyes stopped on me, he slightly smiled. My heart somersaulted and I took off towards him, mouth already forming to cry out for him to help me, when an all too familiar hand around my waist gripped me and turned me around. I bumped into the body, starting to struggle against him, when suddenly a sharp knife was pressed against my liver. It cut through the dress I was wearing and my breath stuttered as I looked up in San’s angry eyes. He found me. I wanted to scream. I wanted to rip myself away from him. I wanted to punch and kick him until he wasn’t breathing anymore.

“If you scream, angel, I swear on the Heavens I will kill you right here.” I whimpered when I felt the knife pressing against my skin harder, gripping San’s biceps as if that would’ve stopped him from doing anything to me. San’s eyes darted to the side and I followed his sight, a lump forming in my throat as the officer was walking towards us, eyebrows furrowed. San looked back down at me, eyebrows slightly furrowing before he leaned down and pressed his lips against mine. I started protesting, gripping his biceps even harder, hoping he’d release me from the pain, but he just pressed his lips harder against mine. I glanced at the officer with desperation written all over my face and San swiftly pulled back just enough to stare in my eyes threateningly, his lips touching mine as he hissed at me.

“If you don’t make it look like we’re a couple, I will torture you until you beg me to kill you.” I really, really wanted to cry, but as San’s lips pressed against mine again, I kissed him back. I made no effort to follow his lead or put any power in the kiss, just smacked my lips against his a few times, hoping it would be enough as I started feeling light headed from the heath and the terror San put me through. His lips were finally away from mine.

“You shouldn’t run away every time we have an argument, angel.” San spoke loudly enough for the officer to hear us as he was close enough, the knife from San’s hand magically having disappeared, “I’m always worried sick about you.”

I just stared into San’s eyes blankly, seeing the officer from the corner of my eyes walk off with a smile, shaking his head. No. I was back in the arms of my kidnapper. Why did I try so hard if it was in vain in the end? San let out a long breath, his forehead wrinkling as he scrunched up his nose, sweat glistening on his temples. He hung his head low, sucking his cheeks in as he held onto my waist with his other hand too, flushing me against his body.

“If I wouldn’t have sold you off already, I would really kill you right now, Y/N.” My jaw clenched at his words and I slightly pushed his biceps, making him look at me.

“I told you I could get you more money if you just allowed me to sing to the wealthy, San.” I tried to coerce him into finally giving in to me, “You get this large sum just once, it will go away eventually. But if you keep me around—if you let me sing—I can bring you weekly the same amount.” I was reaching, but it was worth the try. San didn’t seem to believe me either, and I could feel the resilience radiating off him, so I tried my last method. The method I hated the most, but if it would soften him enough to give in, I had to do it. I cupped his cheeks again and watched his eyes slightly widen as I closed mine, pressing my lips against his. San went stiff as our warm lips molded together, and despite me trying to move mine, his didn’t move. He wasn’t reciprocating it. He refused to fall for my last trick. And it truly was my last trick as I started pulling back defeated, eyes filling with tears, when San cupped my cheeks harshly and crashed his lips against mine. He wasn’t gentle at all, not that I expected him to be, as his lips moved hungrily against mine, devouring me. It was hard to keep up with him as I have never kissed anyone before, but I found my heart thumping loudly in my eardrums as our teeth clashed together, San dominating the kiss. His grip was crushing my cheeks and my lungs were screaming for air as my hands had fallen to his hips, gripping him, reminding myself that I couldn’t fall for his trick. My body was reacting weirdly to his actions, yearning for his lips as he pulled back, taking my lower lip in between his teeth, sucking on it. I felt my cheeks heat up at the action and I was embarrassed, slightly disgusted for making out with him, but fired up. San panted against my lips and he chuckled smugly as I refused to open my eyes, ashamed.

“This took an interesting turn of events, angel, don’t you think?” I didn’t answer him, afraid of what my voice would sound like, but when he nudged my nose with his, I wordlessly nodded, “What did you say? That you can bring me more money weekly than what that crazy rich man just offered me?”

My eyes flew open and the glint of mischief in San’s eyes brought a sense of hope into my system, truly so emotionally tired, that I believed he was genuine this time, “Yes, I can.”

San’s chuckle was high pitched and a crazy look appeared on his face as he bumped his nose against mine again, pushing my head back as he released my cheeks, “Very well, angel, very well.”

I didn’t fully understand what was happening, but I released his hips too as San’s arm went around my shoulders, pulling me into his side as he started walking, “Don’t think you’ll ever be free again, Y/N, because from today on…you’re mine.”

From getting sold off to getting owned by a pirate, neither sounded good nor like a pleasant life. I really didn’t want to cry anymore, but I still wasn’t free. No, I was just owned for life by a deranged and dangerous pirate, who would find me no matter where I went.

I was afraid not even my fantasy worlds were able to save me from the nightmare I found myself tangled up in.

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