#i know you have a mental divide between you and these people bc youre like 'im in a book and they actuallynlive in this world'

[bidokja]

okay i know i said yeseo is dense but manages to make it endearing. but over 130 chapters in with him still being this like...not even dense really its more like he's refusing to learn or change his biased preconceptions about cedric, now im starting to wanna strangle him a bit.

[nereidprinc3ss]

andromeda | (dybmn? bonus)

a bonus vignette from spencer's POV. we find out how he really feels about reader. takes place the day before the argument at the bar.

note: this is not part six! takes place between parts four and five.

series masterlist

18+ warnings/tags: fem!reader, semi-graphic descriptions of sexual fantasies, some angst, you're not actually present, mention of alcohol, very vague discussions of murdery stuff bc he's supposed to be working, sassy spencer makes an appearance a/n: for all my angels who said they wanted a snippet of spencer's POV! i'm sorry if i'm overdoing it with this story or clogging the spencer tags, i'm just having a lot of fun! i hope you enjoy or that this may be clears some things up for you, pls lmk your thoughts:) ily!!!

Spencer is incessantly drumming the particle board table underneath his fingers.

The polymer veneer is one of his least favorite textures—he hates the grain of it and if he were to accidentally scratch the table with his nails he knows it would make the hair on the back of his neck stand up. 

But of all the things he’s worried about, that ranks very low on the list. 

He’s got a lot of mental tabs open all the time—and the tabs, he can deal with. It’s when he starts trying to operate with multiple windows that he begins to struggle. His brain, while it is a very fine tuned sort of computer, only has one monitor. Unfortunately, no human (except for the ones who’ve had their brain hemispheres surgically split) is immune to the inevitable pitfalls of multitasking. By dividing his mental energy between you and his job, he’s really fucking up his job. But he also thinks he really fucked up with you on that phone call the other night and for being as logical as he is he can’t seem to make that feel unimportant—even though he’s disgusted with himself for it because there are literally people dying. 

Someone knocks on the open conference room door—he looks up, skimming his lips over his fist. 

“What’s up?” he says too quickly upon seeing Emily’s mildly concerned face peering in on him. 

Her mouth bridges into a sort of nonchalant frown and her brows kick up. 

“Just… checking in. Haven’t heard from you all morning.”

“Yeah, the, uh—the geo-profile. I’m still… I’m still working it out.”

It’s not like he’s ever been phenomenal with his syntax in a social sense, but Spencer is certainly aware he’s doing even worse than usual right now. 

“Okay. Uh… is there anything in particular stumping you, or…?”

“Nope. Just not enough information. But I’m—I’m going to keep trying.”

“Alright. Got your phone handy?”

It’s an odd question—of course he has his phone handy. He’s been doing this job longer than Emily has. How else would he communicate with the rest of the team? He bristles. 

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I?”

Emily shakes her head. She’s always been particularly good at reading his moods.

“You’re not under attack, Reid. I was just asking.”

Just as he’s about to say, why would you assume I’m not prepared for my job, he manages to swerve away and stifle the words with his fist. Instead he looks back down at his copy of the map and nods. In reality, he truly isn’t prepared for his job today. The reason he has his phone so close, fully charged and at top volume is because he’s worried he’ll miss a call from you. 

Emily says something else, and he hums in response, and then she’s gone. 

He shouldn’t be reading into your reticence this much. It’s not like you just sit by the phone all day, eagerly awaiting a call or text from him (like he does you). You have a life. You’re busy. And even if you are intentionally dodging his texts, he can’t entirely fault you for it. Spencer knows he’s clingy. He knows he’s overbearing. It’s part of why he panicked the other night and told you the whole humiliating story about Elle. Because he can’t ever just be cool and he felt the need to explain himself. 

But the problem was, and is, that he doesn’t know how much longer he can go without saying those three words that fucked him over all those years ago.

So he’d danced around them. Applied them to someone else to try and avoid outright professing his all-consuming love for you over the phone. However you feel, Spencer has to assume he feels more. Spencer always has to assume he feels more because he usually does and it’s gotten him into trouble before. And now he’s pretty sure he was exactly right, as often is the case, because you didn’t tell him he was mistaken and you’d clammed up and you haven’t talked to him since and he’s not supposed to be reading into it this much. 

Three victims killed and dumped within a 6 mile radius of the first victim plus one victim killed and dumped 23.8 miles away. That doesn’t make any fucking sense. Fuck this guy. 

Spencer decides the problem is that he needs more caffeine. 

Or possibly, if he were a different kind of man—copious amounts of alcohol. 

So he stows his phone in a pocket and asks the first person he sees where the coffee machine is. 

“Looks like you found it earlier,” the woman says, glancing pointedly down at his mostly empty mug. A playful smirk tugs at pinkish-brownish lips. She’s pretty, he realizes distantly. But he registers it the same way he’d take note of the model of a car, or the species of a bird, or the kind of shoes someone is wearing. It doesn’t actually interest him. It’s just part of processing his environment. “I can show you to it?”

He doesn’t have the heart or energy to explain that someone else brought him his cup earlier and he’s not flirting with her. 

“If you could just point me in the right direction…?”

She laughs, short and dry, before she’s pointing down a hall. 

“Kitchenette down there and to the left.”

“Thanks,” he mutters, already walking away without sparing her a second glance. 

She’s the kind of woman he would have paid a lot more attention to before you came along. Not that he’d ever sleep with someone on the job (not since he was 25, anyway), but if he’d met her under any other circumstances he probably would have cared more about the way her pupils dilated and her eyes had widened slightly and she’d adjusted her posture and all the other small things people do when they’re attracted to someone else. 30 year old Spencer might have slept with her. 27 year old Spencer definitely would have slept with her. Current Spencer obsessively pines for a woman who is already his girlfriend and whom he has yet to sleep with at all far too much to think about other women like that. 

But god, does he think about you like that. 

His feet carry him down the dim, carpeted hallway but really it took barely a nudge and he’s thinking about you like that. At work. As he’s pouring himself coffee. 

Spencer is confident in the fact that if anyone were to look at him right now, they’d never guess he’s running clips of you in his mind like a dirty supercut. Because he’s just pouring coffee. That’s one good thing about having all those tabs open all the time. He can toggle between them quickly. He has enough going on in the background that people look at him and all they can tell is that he’s thinking hard about lots of things. Some of them just happen to be the way you look when you’re naked on his bed, skin shining and glazed eyes sleepy, parted lips higher in color than usual and catching your breath. Some of them happen to be your hair brushing his stomach before he gathers it back for you. Some of them happen to be the way your thighs feel on either side of his face, or how you stretch around his fingers, or how you might feel when you stretch around his—

He hisses as hot coffee overflows from the mug and burns his hand. 

Maybe he’s not as calm and collected as he thought. 

But on top of all the other things he’s dealing with, having been so close to actually sleeping with you the other night is really fucking with his head. Even if he tells himself he wouldn't have done it, he knows himself better than that. He's too familiar with the effect you have on his judgement.

“Found it okay?” 

Spencer looks down, surprised to see the woman from earlier sitting at her desk and watching him as he quickly passes by on his way back to the conference room. Her legs are crossed. She’s wearing a pencil skirt and a flouncy sort of blouse which seems impractical for working in an FBI field office. Maybe she notices his eye catching on her figure and misguidedly swivels her chair to give him a better look. But all he’s noticing is that it doesn’t look like yours. Now he’s picturing the curve of your hip dripping in silk after that first night at Rossi’s. How your waist and your stomach feel when he slides his hands over you. This woman—she might as well not even be here for all he’s actually seeing her. 

“Yeah. Thanks again.”

Then he’s gone. Very briefly he acknowledges that he should feel sorry for so obviously brushing her off, but he doesn’t care even close to enough. He sets the coffee down on the table and rounds to the board where one of several maps is taped. On autopilot he draws lines between dump sites because one of the background tabs had deduced, while he was busy watching you like porn, that the distance between dump sites form the beginnings of the constellation Orion with some mathematical precision that’s too exacting to be coincidental. Orion’s Belt plus the most recent victim. Betelgeuse. 

There are ten formally named stars that make up Orion. He marks all of them, but circles the transposed coordinates of Bellatrix, Saiph, Rigel and Meissa as the next most likely dump sites. Most probably it will be Orion’s head. They’re all in wooded areas. He calls Garcia. Garcia will call Emily, wherever she is. If the unsub sticks to pattern, which they always do, they have until midnight. It’s trite, really. Predictable, like people always are. Far too quickly he drinks half the cup of scalding coffee and retraces his steps through the office to find the bathroom. 

It’s empty. The fluorescent lights hum. Spencer washes his hands with cold water and presses still wet fingers to his eyes. You’re waiting for him behind the black of his lids.

At first you would whine, and he would kiss you and you’d moan into his mouth and say his name when he opened you up as far as you would go. The air would be thick and warm with sex and vanilla perfume. Afterwards he’d take care of you and buy new sheets for his bed in your favorite color even if they didn’t match the walls and there would be nothing you’d want for that he couldn’t give to you ever again. 

But. 

That’s all contingent. 

No matter how often he fantasizes about it, no matter in how much detail, and regardless of how often those details change wildly, one thing always stays the same. 

The shape of your lips, swollen from kissing, bending around five or six vowels and only two consonants (it seems odd that there are only two consonants in I love you), sometimes before you start, sometimes in the middle or right at the peak—but always there, always moving in slow motion—and always silent.

In real life, they’d be aloud. It’s why his fantasies aren’t good enough. It’s why he can’t stop fantasizing about it. That’s the only part that really matters to him. The rest varies. 

Not because having sex with you doesn’t matter—it matters so much he almost shatters his molars whenever he starts picturing it around other people. But because Spencer can’t have sex with you until you love him. 

And he worries that you can’t love him until you have sex with him. 

The last time he thought that about a person, it didn’t turn out well.

Maybe there is some magic number. Some amount of times you need to have sex with someone before they’ll love you back. 

If there is, he knows for a fact it’s more than 32.

And he also knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he cannot have loveless sex with you thirty three times while he waits to find out. 

Not again. 

But he's going to hold out as long as he possibly can until you say it because he so badly wants you to love him back. He'll let the weight of every ignored text, every reminder that you don't feel that way about him, hang from his shoulders until he collapses. And then he'll probably try to get back up.

Recycled paper towels scratch against his skin. He dries his face and hands and throws them crumpled into the trash can. 

Outside the restroom, he pulls out his phone. For safety reasons and paranoia disguised as professionalism, you’re not his lock screen. It’s a photo of the Andromeda Galaxy. Whatever distance lies between you and Spencer, it could always be greater. No matter where you are in the world, you will always be the same 2.537 million light years away from Andromeda that he is. 

It makes Orion feel much closer. You, too. 

He sends you a text—the third message in a row. 

The distance between blue bubbles feels like light years. 

I’ll be home tomorrow. I miss you. 

[hualianisms]

saw someone saying that the difference between HC & FX's loyalty is that HC dares to say no to XL and that "stop following" never worked on HC, and i have a lot of thoughts about this.

i think there's 2 major things that make XL's relationship with HC vs with FX completely different, especially if comparing XL & HC 800 years later, vs XL & FX in book 4.

the inherent difference in social status btwn XL & FX

the circumstances surrounding how FX & XL's friendship deteriorated in book 4, vs hualian meeting 800 years later when XL is in a way better mental state

bc of these 2 factors, i personally feel like hualian's relationship vs FX & XL in book 4 are in many ways not fairly comparable.

firstly, the inherent differences in social status btwn XL & FX:

while it's true that XL & FX were close friends and XL never treated FX as just a bodyguard or servant, it's undeniable that 800 years ago, XL & FX's relationship had inherent big differences in social status. the thing is that in a historical chinese context, differences in social status make a huge difference, bc confucian societal hierarchies and roles are rigid. in fact to me as a native chinese speaker, mxtx was already pretty lax in her portrayal of the status differences btwn XL vs FX or MQ. a crown prince vs his personal retainer have huge inherent differences in status that create lines that cannot be crossed by the retainer. bc of this, in other c-novels or c-dramas, it's rare to see a crown prince and his personal retainer being best friends on an equal footing, much less a romance between them (the romance would be forbidden and face societal backlash).

bc of the inherent differences in social status, it's much harder for FX to outright defy XL when XL gives a direct order, for example if XL dismisses FX as a servant - and it's very obvious in the revised version of the novel that in the scene where XL tells FX to leave, he's also dismissing FX as a servant as he also says "i don't need you anymore". that's something that's hard for FX to just ignore. it's like if your boss fires you, you can't just say "no."

while i would argue that FX himself dares to talk back to XL (in book 2 he often scolds XL and in book 4 after xianle's fall, FX even dared to do something like give XL a punch in the scene when XL came back from getting stabbed) - it's hard for FX to insist on staying if XL just dismissed him and told him to leave. some might see it as FX being afraid to speak out, but to me it's not about fear, but about respect. FX has deep respect for XL. he scolds MQ every time MQ shows disrespect to XL and even went on a long angry outburst to MQ in book 2 about how MQ should respect XL as XL is His Highness. it's evident even 800 years later how much FX respects XL.

in contrast, HC with XL 800 years later does not have this inherent status divide of master & servant. 800 years later, hualian meet as complete equals. if they had gotten closer when HC was still a commoner child and XL was still a crown prince, the difference in social status would have been an issue too.

2. the circumstances surrounding hualian's relationship 800 years later, and XL & FX's relationship in book 4 are extremely different

when hualian meet 800 years later, they get to know each other as not just equals, but as individuals who are 800+ years old. they have had literal centuries to mature and grow as people. and, XL is in a way better mental state 800 years later. in contrast, XL & FX in their book 4 falling out were dealing with extremely tough times, barely struggling to get by each day, traumatized by the fall of xianle and losing almost everything of their old lives (with XL especially in the worst psychological state he's ever been, extremely traumatized by the events with BWX and clearly depressed). people really don't make the best decisions when they are in bad psychological states - that's when they tend to make bad choices.

HC may have seen XL at XL's lowest, but they were not friends at that point. they didn't have to live with each other, they only were around each other for an extremely short time in book 4. they didn't have a mutual, reciprocal bond. ofc i'm sure if HC was in FX's position, he would have never left. but for FX's specific position, he was living with XL, was XL's good friend and personal attendant, was actually day-to-day witnessing and being on the receiving end of XL's heavily deteriorating psychological state. XL was screaming at FX and having intense mental breakdowns due to trauma. it's important to remember that XL in book 4, especially after being stabbed 100 times, was completely different from his normal self. he was not himself at all. any friend would be alarmed to see their friend completely different all of a sudden, and questioned it.

however, FX did not know or understand what XL was going through, and when he tried to ask, XL didn't tell FX about any of it, and instead shut him out and pushed him away. FX probably wanted to help, but didn't even have a way to understand what was happening. he was helpless. and even XL's own mother didn't know how to help either. she, too, was pushed away when she tried to talk to XL.

we also have to remember that we, as the reader, know that XL only pushed FX away due to an intense fear of abandonment, but FX did not have the knowledge that the reader has. FX did not know that at all. from FX's pov, XL didn't want him around anymore. from FX's pov, even as a friend, how could he force XL to change his mind if XL didn't want FX around anymore?

bc even completely ignoring social status differences, even in terms of friendship, when friends have a messy falling out like that, where one basically tries to cut ties with the other (with an implied leave and stop staying/living with me - it's practically being kicked out), and if the other friend truly believes that they are no longer wanted around (which is what i think FX interpreted), it could in some ways be ignoring your friend's own wishes or even your friend's personal boundaries, to say "no" and insist on still following even after being told to leave. i find their fight and falling out in book 4 pretty realistic for how friend breakups happen in real life.

so to me, the circumstances were very different. when HC says no to XL, it's 800 years later, when XL is in a much healthier mental state, they don't have an inherent status difference, and XL isn't trying to drive HC away completely. XL is only doing something harmful to himself, which HC can push back against on the grounds of prioritizing XL's own well-being. it's not when XL is trying to cut ties with HC due to abandonment fears. (not saying that HC would leave in any circumstance, but that the situation FX was in would be complicated to experience in reality and not as simple as just saying no. and that FX's choice was more complicated than just blind obedience.)

in fact, FX & XL's friend breakup, although incredibly painful for both of them as well as the reader, paved the way for them to reconcile 800 years later when XL is no longer the crown prince & FX is no longer his personal retainer/bodyguard. they no longer have such a big difference in social status between them. they are both also 800 years older - i.e. had lots of time to mature and grow as people, and in a much better psychological state. they are in a much better place this time around to form a much healthier friendship with each other on a more equal ground.

[reiketsui]

For canon muses: what's the worst take, headcanon or even canon moment you saw regarding your muse? ( yea based on your post about the rancid tag )

i'm sorry gio for this hornet nest you have poked ily I'M GONNA SOUND EXTREMELY AGGRESSIVE IN THIS BUT DW I'M FINE I'M OKAY I'M JUST PASSIONATE ABOUT THIS CHARACTER IN A WAY THAT ALTERS MY MENTAL STATE

it's the WHOLE fucking umbrella of giovanni simping. and really the SIMPING, and reducing his entire personality to that and only that. maybe it's just difficult to get right or something? it is a delicate balance. like whatever if someone makes a joke about it it's funny and i love the jokes i get here about it in moderation because i know my friends and mutuals UNDERSTAND it's not all there is. and ic reactions are a different thing entirely bc the dynamic/their reputation to outsiders may present the bond between them like that.

i see it more as archer's personal lack of self-worth and his need to be flawless and perfect and his flawed sense of self-destructive loyalty, and who else he could project that onto than his boss who literally saved his life and elevated him from a dirt poor street rat into one of the most brutal, skilled and sought after criminals in the kanto-johto area. archer doesn't follow his order blindly, he may even challenge his order if he thinks there's a better/more efficient way, because there's a deep sense of trust and understanding between them.

i'm just gonna go ahead and blame pokéspe for this simp culture because what the fuck look how they massacred my boy in it. overall pokéspe used the execs to finish the d/p storyline which i'm endlessly mad and bitter about but won't get into bc it's not part of this but y'know.

and like yeah. i know. this is a pretty insignificant character in a large scale so many people just don't take it as dead serious as i do in my deranged mind space. for most people it's just funnies. i understand. good for them. but i'm still gonna be salty about it.

fanons have a funny way of reducing a character's entire personality to one line of dialogue or one personality trait and giving them nothing else. in comparison to proton (who i fucking adore and you know it it ain't about that and proton's popular fanon takes have a TON of issues too that i could yell about for hours, but this is just for an example) archer often gets the 'prissy stick in the mud uwu pathetic simp wet dog boy' treatment while proton gets the 'cool sexy badass murder man' one. there's a funny divide between the english and japanese fanons in this because japanese fanons often get it better. if i sound like a gatekeeper with this character it's because i am (i'm joking i do like different takes on him but not the 'simp and NOTHING else' stuff it makes me explode).

[magicofthepen]

The Ryans Reread: In Sea-Salt Tears

Hi hello I love Elizabeth Ryan a Normal Amount!

These ramblings are cross posted from my Liz Ryan reread thread in the October Daye Discord server.

I had discussions with a couple people about In Sea-Salt Tears in the thread, but these notes are just messages I sent—my initial reactions to the story on reread. And I reference other Liz appearances, especially Drown the Lamenting!

“We know that, while we may love the ocean, the ocean doesn’t love us.” / “We know that we, among all the fae, are temporary and flawed….” 

me @ the Luidaeg, always: You fucked up a perfectly good descendant race, is what you did. 

(to be fair, that’s just most characters @ the Luidaeg)

but it sure was a Choice to revive your descendant race via a group of people you Made Sure grew up thinking they’re lesser and not worthy and hated (by you)…..

~

“I miss her every day, and the worst of it? The worst of it is that she never existed.” 

See, this is fascinating to me because it’s not true, but it is complicated. Cousin Annie was always a mask of sorts, but so is the sea witch, and both guises enable her to do thing she can’t do when she’s being the other one. There was genuine, honest vulnerability that Liz got to see from her that very, very few people do. There was also so much withheld context. 

But I don’t think Liz ever understands to what degree the Luidaeg was honest with her—which makes sense! How is she to know what was true and what was a lie? So it falls into the category of “things that would be nice for the Luidaeg to explain, if she ever manages to stop being an asshole to Liz.”

~

“Mathias had beer. Mathias always had beer — his parents were Canadian, and they’d been letting him drink since he was fourteen, the lucky stiff. Colin had the weed.” 

I so want to know if this is actually intended to be Mathias from The Unkindest Tide and Colin from A Local Habitation. I know the wiki says that the Colins are the same, but his backstory in ALH doesn’t work with this story—but is that just a continuity issue? It’s hard to believe that there would be two Selkies with the same name at the same time, even if the Selkies overall reuse names…..

also Colin is the weed guy in both ALH and ISST. 

Mathias’s backstory also contradicts if it’s meant to be the same one, bc he’s meant to live on the same coast and be part of Roan Rathad in this one, but if I can headcanon that he was just temporarily living with another clan to see what it’s like over there, I really want him to be the same guy. It’s much more fun if these other Selkies were all part of the same teen friend group as Liz 😄

~

cw: discussion of suicide 

“Former Selkies almost never stay within sight of the sea. The ones who do always wind up drowning when the need to go back to the sea gets to be too much for them.”

oof at the high risk of suicide among Selkies that pass their skins. (I have a lot of feelings in general about mental illness in the Selkie clans and the ways that we see it be normalized or ignored.)

end warning

~ The schism between Selkies and Selkiekin is so intense, and yet there’s such a sense of collective family identity, it’s so interesting. And it really does make you feel for the clan leaders, and how they are responsible for everyone and making sure everyone’s being taken care of, but they are also Selkies and thus firmly on one side of that divide, where their Selkiekin cousins are concerned.

The whole thing of Liz not knowing if she’ll ever get a skin, despite being an only child, and presumed heir is somewhat confusing?? Although we do see a great-grandmother passing a skin to a great-grandchild in this story, skipping over her children and grandchildren, some of whom might not even be alive anymore? 

So I guess she can’t expect that one of her parents will pass their skin to her generation, because they could decide to live a lot longer—Daisy’s great-grandmother was three hundred. 

(Interesting that some folks still do wait a while, and possibly have their children outlive them.)

~

“What are you?” said Mathias bluntly. Tempe hissed for him to be quiet. He ignored her.

It really is infinitely funnier if this is the same Mathias. 😄

~ When I first read this story, it truly caught me by surprise that Liz is only sixteen when she meets Annie. 🥺

~ what Annie is pretending to be—a Selkiekin Roane changeling—is what Diva actually is. at least Liz can be reasonably confident Diva will transform (based on what Aldridge said), she won’t be denied the same way (Liz thinks) Annie was. but still interesting in the context of those seven years when Diva existed, but Liz didn’t know who Annie was yet.

~

“Someone had to stay and keep an eye on the children. The older cousins would relieve us around midnight, and then I could run.” 

again, that whole “we take care of each other” ethos, everyone is meant to pitch in with looking after the kids. and even when Liz does Not want to be on duty, she doesn’t consider ditching her family responsibilities, she’s just looking forward to being off shift.

~

“[Annie] would have nothing but this: empty kitchens and watching cousins walk into the waves when she had to stay on the shore.”

the way Liz is actually Not Wrong about this…..

(except it’s by choice)

~

“Yeah, well.” Colin frowned, keeping his arm around my shoulders. It seemed suddenly like he was smothering me, but I couldn’t figure out how to step away without insulting him. It was clear that he saw Annie as a threat. I just didn’t know why. “I’m not the one you should be apologizing too.”

Colin at the Convocation of Consequences has the dawning realization that he was in a brief teenage love triangle with the sea witch 😄

(sorry buddy you were never gonna win that one, she’s a lesbian)

~

“[Annie] didn’t judge me because of what I did or didn’t have. She never would.”

oh noooo Liz is so painfully wrong about that 😭

it’s not that she doesn’t care if Liz has a skin or not, it’s that she has the opposite judgment of what Liz is used to. and that judgment is gonna be so much worse when it hits

~ Liz and Colin are definitely hooking up, given that she intends to sleep with him that night originally. and given all the sulking, he very much has a thing for her. but given that she goes off and kisses Annie that same evening, she clearly does Not think they have that kind of relationship, they’re just friends that hook up sometimes.

so really only Colin thinks he’s in a love triangle 😄

~

dammit this beach scene still tugs at my heartstrings

(I think because, despite it not being in her pov, I can feel the Luidaeg catching feelings in spite of herself)

but oof, she is millennia old and Liz is barely eighteen

and that’s not even the most dramatic invisible power dynamic at play

it’s never brought up in relation to Liz, but I definitely remember Toby having a thought about how all the Firstborn affect their descendant races and how she thinks the Luidaeg’s effect might be making the Selkies trust her more than they should

and gonna circle back to this later but I do think there’s evidence to support the Luidaeg giving off “trust me, don’t ask too many probing questions” vibes

~

“Every day was a tug-of-war between dreaming of my own future and realizing the horror of what would have to happen for that future to be mine. A relative could choose to pass his or her skin, becoming mortal and dying in the human way, but that’s not the usual way for Selkies to be made. If it were, there wouldn’t be so many of us. We die younger and more often than almost any other race in Faerie.”

They are fully fae, but they have a way higher death rate than other fae. And this has kind of scary implications for the Roane? If the Selkies are more prone to deadly accidents because they don’t grow up as fae and are only thrust into that world later, the same is true of the new Roane. Except if they die, no one will become fae in their place.

on the other hand, maybe the fact that they’re all seers now really helps cut down on the fatal accidents

~

“Was Annie already aware that I’d been passed up again, and that I was the last of the little bonfire circle she has stumbled into eight years ago?” 

🥺🥺 at the fracturing of Liz’s friend group and how isolated it leaves her.

~

also I have to assume that Liz’s parents don’t realize Liz is having a casual flirtation with the sea witch, otherwise why did they not make sure she was picked for Tempe’s skin, thus ending that.

It really is their decision that drives her completely towards Annie 😬

~

“There was a choice there, blurred by sweet red wine and sea-salt tears. Annie didn’t reach for my hands. She was leaving me the room to make that choice on my own, and I appreciated that, because I knew, just looking at her, that she was offering me something more than sex. Sex was easy; sex was fun and cathartic and nothing even remotely like a commitment. But Annie….

Annie had been hurt before. I knew it every time I looked at her.” 

Given the timeline, what Liz says here, and how she talks about hooking up with various people as a teen in an “experimenting and figuring herself out” way in DTL, this is definitely her first serious romantic relationship. 

and also, as of present day, her last 😔

~

[EDIT: oh the sex scene is…..it’s the beginning of a relationship destined to implode, but they’re also so horny and enthusiastic it’s easy to forget that part. it’s hot! them getting handsy before they’re even in the room…..😳]

~

“We went to Disneyland, where she kissed me on the Haunted Mansion ride and we had our pictures taken with Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother.”

the Luidaeg canonically taking her girlfriend on a vacation date to Disneyland is very on brand but also. the dramatic irony of the whole sea witch thing is. yeah

~

“My mother sighed. My father cried. I loaded my things into the back of Annie’s car, and together we drove to San Francisco, where her apartment was waiting for us.”

godddd this hurts when you realize both her parents Know

Liz’s parents: …..fuck fuck we should have given her Tempe’s skin

it has to hurt so much, knowing that your daughter’s girlfriend is lying to her, knowing that she’s far more dangerous and powerful than your daughter knows, and being unable to say anything

~

“It was surprisingly spacious, taking up most of the ground floor of an old brick building near the wharf.” 

the vague horror of Liz moving into a skerry entirely controlled by her girlfriend and having no idea

I also would like to know how the Luidaeg managed the whole “people bugging her for bargains” thing during the years Liz was living with her

yeah a lot of people Stay Away because of her reputation, and most don’t know where exactly she lives, but some do!

[EDIT: someone else suggested that it’s a different apartment than the one we see in the books, and specifically a different door to the same skerry. so she still has her “sea witch” apartment elsewhere. and I’ve adopted that headcanon!]

~

“We walked hand-in-hand through the city until it was almost dawn, and then we ran back to the apartment, and fell into bed, and held each other through the sunrise.” / “I was restless, moving from job to job until I found a position as a night clerk at a store that sold skin magazines and dirty movies.”

so the implication is that Liz basically lived nocturnally while she was with Annie, although she was still human.

~

“We’d been living together for almost a year before I asked about her family.”

This this is the reason I think the Luidaeg is giving off some flavor of “trust me / don’t pry” vibes. They’ve been dating for years before this, and Liz has never thought to ask about her family? That sounds completely implausible, unless maybe Liz is subconsciously being steered away from asking questions about Certain Things. I don’t think it’s something Annie’s actively doing, it’s just a feature of being Liz’s First and the subtle influence that gives her. And it takes this long for the weirdness of not having ever asked about Annie’s family to finally overrule the vague “don’t pry” vibes.

I could see that when they’re in the “we meet up and chat and flirt and kiss at clan occasions” stage of their relationship, but they’ve been properly dating for eight years by that point, they’ve been living together for a year. That is a long time to never ask “Where are you from?” (which is the specific question Liz asks)

I can’t imagine seriously dating someone in general and not knowing anything about their family—even knowing that it’s complicated and they don’t like talking about their family would be knowing something. But Annie has to tell Liz that she’s not very comfortable talking about her family, which means even that hasn’t come up in conversation before.

~

“My mother…went away. And my father couldn’t stand to be around me after that. He left me by the sea. Said ‘It’s in your hands now, Annie,’ and walked away. I haven’t seen him since.” Her breath hitched, and I realized with a start that she was crying. “I miss them so much.”  

god I love this scene.

it says so much about her complicated relationship with her parents, and thus says so much about how she is being honest with Liz when she doesn’t have to be. she could have invented a different backstory for herself, but she told the truth — because that’s such a huge part of why she pretends to be Selkiekin, she gets to show emotions and build connections she never would be able to otherwise. this conversation is so intensely personal because she is choosing for it to be, she chooses to pour out some of her messy feelings towards her parents and cry about them and let herself be held.

~

“Did she know, even then, that I was lying to her? Did I know? I like to think not.”

(this is about the “I’ll never leave you” promise.) oh Liz 🥺 you meant it at the time, it wasn’t a lie

also! thinking about it…..that was never a promise she could keep, what with her being mortal.

the best thing she could do to keep it was take the skin. and she very clearly intended to come back, she wasn’t breaking up with Annie. she just didn’t think Annie would follow through on the ultimatum.

she did go back, afterwards. she didn’t walk away.

Liz didn’t leave Annie. Annie left her.

~ okay I’m at that scene now and it’s like. this? this is meant to be the betrayal that the Luidaeg holds against her for two decades and counting?

she made the best decision she could with the information she had!

Drown the Lamenting gets into this more, but there’s the visible age gap struggle and how she assumes it would lead to a break up eventually — and the skin would fix that.

(or at least not make it worse, she doesn’t actually know it’ll age her down)

She promised to never leave Annie, and the immortality would help guarantee that.

This is what she’s wanted her whole life, this is her dream. She has no reason to think there’s anything wrong with it.

Even if it was just the last point — I genuinely believe she did nothing wrong by choosing her life’s dream, especially when “you can pick your dream or me” is a pretty shitty ultimatum to give to someone. tbh I wouldn’t blame her if she did choose to break up with Annie at that point, but she didn’t even do that! she thought Annie didn’t really mean it.

the Luidaeg chose to withhold crucial information from her, and then has been punishing her for making the wrong choice all this time.

Liz literally doesn’t understand why it’s an either/or decision, as far as she’s concerned there’s no reason for it to be?? why can’t Liz be a Selkie and they can stay together??

so yeah, she picks the choice that gives her what she wants and would make them both equally immortal, instead of the choice that requires her to deny her dream and continue to age and has no benefit other than “doesn’t make Annie jealous bc she can’t have the sea,” as far as Liz is concerned. I don’t think it was a betrayal at all.

the part that could be seen as a betrayal is her choosing to take the skin of a dead Roane, when Annie, who she thinks is part Roane, will never have the sea. but at that point it’s literally take the skin or die, so.

which is also a deal the Luidaeg put in place! she’s the reason Liz can’t choose to back out at the last moment.

~

“Damn it, Annie! That’s not fair! Have you looked in a mirror lately? I’m getting old! I’m going to keep getting old, and then I’m going to die, and I’m going to leave you alone again! I’m doing this for you!”

Annie laughed, a sound as bitter and lost as the bellow of a foghorn. “No, Liz. Don’t even try that on for size. You’re doing this for you. Because you want it. Because you feel like you were cheated somehow. Well, you weren’t cheated, Liz. I gave you everything I had it in my power to give. You weren’t cheated. I was not a second place ribbon.” 

She thinks Liz is just making excuses, but we know the age thing is clearly bothering Liz, that it’s not just an excuse. Liz is also definitely doing this because she wants it, but she has no reason to think it’s a Selkie skin or Annie, not until Annie lays down this ultimatum.

“I gave you everything I had it in my power to give.” …..except the truth

~

cw: discussion of suicide 

My mother’s mouth twisted. “Oh, sweetheart, I’m sorry. I tried to be strong, for your sake; I tried to let you go. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t sit by and watch you leave us. I’m so sorry. I was weak.”

🥺 this scene hurts more after reading Drown the Lamenting knowing she knows that passing the skin will kill her. It will kill her, and it will hurt Liz, but she is doing it anyways because she can’t watch Liz stay with the sea witch forever. and the defiance of this skin passing, choosing to risk the sea witch’s wrath by taking Liz away from her. because getting her daughter away is more important than the consequences. she already knows she won’t survive this.

end warning

~

her father being buried in the sea, and there clearly being traditions around burials is another way the Selkies are Not Like Other Fae—they’re close enough to the mortal world for the night haunts to more often leave bodies behind for them to bury, often enough that they have burial traditions. (it also reminds me of how their wakes also buck fae tradition, being more lively celebrations of life)

and given that he would have no reason to pass his skin because his daughter is already a Selkie, and since Liz’s mom died after passing her skin he probably wouldn’t want to leave Liz the same way, I doubt his death was expected the same way? It seems more likely that there was an accident of some kind, as there more often is with Selkies, and he died unexpectedly and as a Selkie.

I wonder if, post-Diva’s birth but pre-his death, the question of “is Liz still his heir?” actively came up? because Liz broke the rules and had a changeling child and is she still allowed to inherit the clan? and only the Selkies, not the Selkiekin, know the full Selkie-Roane connection and thus might understand why having a Roane changeling kid might be different. Did the question of inheritance have to be ironed out beforehand? Or was it assumed if the sea witch had a problem with that, it would be dealt with if Liz tried to take over the clan?

~

The mourners were a constant tide, terrifying my daughter—sweet Diva, only seven years old, with her father’s huge green eyes and my tendency toward stillness—and forcing me to answer questions I wasn’t yet prepared for.

huh I’d forgotten about the “tendency towards stillness” line. because we see Diva so little, but she is in constant motion when we do—running to be the first to the door, running around the house, running up to Annie and talking a mile a minute.

I realize it could be “I hadn’t thought much about this character”/Not That Deep, but I could also take it as Diva was a much quieter/shyer kid than she is as a teenager, that she used to tend towards watching the room.

~

“I was contemplating the liquor cabinet”

Liz inheriting the clan was probably what kicked off the road to where her alcoholism is now—between access to a place to hide from the rest of the clan (with a place to store alcohol already included) and having her world upended that same day.

~

The door swung open, revealing the heads of the three nearest Selkie clans: the Chase, O’Connell, and Anthony families.

We know the O’Connell and Chase clans are East Coast (and so is the Lefebvre clan)—and they’re all relatively close together and 3/5 of the North American clans. idk why there are so many Selkies in that area in particular, enough for three major clans, but I’d like to think the Anthony clan is somewhere else—it’s never said, so in fic I’ve placed them on the northwest coast of North America.

and presumably Seanan hadn’t invented the the Lefebvre clan yet, otherwise they would have been included in this bit. because they’re not any further than the Chase or O’Connell clans.

so presumably the clan leaders were around already for the multi day funeral, it’s probably something that’s expected when someone knew takes charge. (Liz also says “There’s more?” implying that they’ve all been talking to her a lot already, but they’ve been waiting for the Luidaeg to show up to do this last bit.)

[EDIT: Never mind, the coastal distribution of clans makes sense—given the Selkie clans presumably originated in Scotland, it makes sense that a majority of the modern North American Selkies would be clustered around Nova Scotia.]

~

I stood before I could think better of it, almost stumbling as I raced around the desk. “Annie! Annie, I missed you so much, I—”

it’s been eight and a half years and Annie was the one who disappeared without a trace on her, the one who failed to communicate. and her immediate reaction is still to welcome her, to want to talk and fix things.

and the Luidaeg could have done this reveal in private, but she chose to let Liz embarrass herself in front of the clan leaders—her new peers and the only people who are allowed to know who Annie is.

the Drama of this reveal ahhh

I remembered winding my fingers through that hair while she cried out, muffling her voice against my skin. I looked at that hair now and knew without touching it that it would slice my fingers, that every strand would be razor-edged and deadly.

this image ahhhh — a good memory soured, intimacy and closeness vs a warning to stay away…..I am Hurting

~

I forced myself not to look away from her. “I missed you,” I said. “I buried you,” she replied.

Liz just found out Annie lied to her for decades and the very first thing she says is still I missed you……god

“I buried you” what a cruel thing to say and then leave and it’s also not true, Annie has not moved on from Liz the way she’s acting like she has here, the things she says about Liz later on point to many emotions roiling under the surface.

~

These are the things every Selkie-child knows: that the sea does not love us, that we are finite and flawed, and that we must never, never trust the sea-witch. I know all these things to be true.

that last line oof. the lesson she learned in the end is that all the warnings were true 🥺

~

Because I made the greatest mistake of all, a mistake that may well be unique in all our world: I loved her, and she loved me. I broke her heart. I proved that we are still no better than we were. Even after all these generations, we are still betraying her.

Liz did break her heart, but the rest of what Liz says here is so much more blame than she deserves, she really has internalized that it was all her fault, even to the point of comparing taking her mother’s skin to the original murder and theft of the skin. “we are still no better than we were.” holy shit taking a skin your family was bound to on purpose to keep the magic alive is not in any way comparable to murdering the Roane to try to become immortal.

(I am thinking about “You’re going to cut yourself to ribbons already over the things you can’t undo” and I am so sad about her 😔)

~

in DTL she finally stopped dreaming of Annie and started to be well rested and now she says she always dreams of Annie and it’s what she deserves 🥺

~

“At least my daughter will be spared the choice.”

once again she talks about Diva being spared the betrayer’s bargain as the key Thing (I’m noting this bc of how the narrative of Diva as apology is only ever something other characters say, and Liz recoiled from the idea of having a kid as an apology to someone, but she did like the idea of a kid who would never need to wear a skin to have the sea).

interesting that it’s left ambiguous what exactly she’s “not sorry” about. her relationship with Annie? her choice to leave and take the skin? (I mean, probably not that—although it’s complicated actually, because if she never left Annie, Diva wouldn’t exist).

[catboii]

((just a "little" (ha) update I guess, nothing major, just a note that I'm sorry if I post alot this week with seemingly no regard for my/my muse's vast presence on the dash, or if I end up writing alot of short weird drabbles to vent.... if there's questionable stuff it'll be tagged like always <3

I understand if you need to unfollow me to keep your dash clear for other people if you're mobile etc. or if you need to blacklist my muse's url for a bit if it's overwhelming

After xmas everything may have settled and if you wanna refollow then I'd welcome you back and wouldn't ask any questions. your comfort (whatever that may classify as in the context) is my utmost priority!

normally I try not to clutter, and I try to keep general post reblogs minimal and just queue most of them. I'm just... not doing too good rn

then again it's a 50/50 that I'll be posting nothing at all, just making my muse's presence known if it wants to sorta wave at someone from the depths of my brain hell jail.

I'll still be checking in around xmas stuff bc this muse gives me v happy bubbly vibes whenever I write it and that's honestly what I need rn.

I'm sorry if your muse reblogs/replies to one of mine's posts or smth and I seemingly glance over it. I genuinely just didn't see it. I always try and respond to stuff, or if it doesn't know how to reply I at least acknowledge that my muse saw it by liking it. but I might not have the mental capacity to actually keep up w stuff

...

BASICALLY I'm either gonna be kinda quiet or rly hyperfixated on not being in my own head for the next week or so.

I'm obv stressed anyway bc I need to do xmas shopping still and it's a struggle bc online it probs won't come in time. we're going "late night shopping" on thursday though so hopefully we can get a bunch of stuff then

but mainly an old work friend of mine passed away today. He's been unwell for a few years, and I dunno if he knew what it was and was just keeping it quiet, or if they genuinely couldn't work it out. last I heard he was getting MRIs.

I had a complicated relationship w him (positive) bc he was either bipolar or had BPD like me (although he wasn't diagnosed with either, but it was obvious he at least had bipolar), and if you know anything abt BPD you know what an FP (favourite person) is, and we were sort of each other's when we were working together? I think. like I say he wasn't diagnosed, but it felt like that. we hit it off really quick and were both really comfortable with each other, and he was just the sweetest most supportive person. he was one of my FPs, which basically means my brain was cursed to be in intense friendlove with him. He would tell me that he loved me and appreciated my friendship, was always saying you need to tell people you love them, however you can, however you mean it, because you don't know if you'll ever get to tell them again

he always showed off the little things I made him and made sure everyone knew exactly where he got the silly little origami animals on his desk, or who made his juggling balls that were his favourite thing in the whole world bc I made them for him by hand, and picked the fabric out specifically for him.

One time around xmas, bc of covid, we had these big plastic screen dividers between our desks and I used posca paint pens to draw him a HUGE Robin in a scarf and santa hat (his name was Robin and people always got him little Robin themed things, he loved them) on the one by his manager desk, like a name tag, but Facilities told him he needed to clean it off and chastised him thinking he did it, and you're "not supposed to vandalise work equipment" even though they're literally washable and it was xmas. we were sticking decorations everywhere, how is it any different? but he played along but he was really mad. He didn;t wanna say it was me that did it, because he thought I might've gotten in trouble, but he also wanted to argue that I'd put alot of work into it. I hadn't put that much in, it was just for fun and I liked drawing it, and he got to see it! That was the important part. and I said so. but I cleaned it off and drew him a new Robin on a piece of paper and he kept it at his desk like a retired picket sign, and told the story to anyone who would be polite enough to listen

mostly though, he gendered me correctly (and he was in his 60s so being so passionate abt they/them pronouns was just really sweet, though he was clearly bi but still in the closet, so it was maybe a little projection, in a way, or just straight up quiet queer solidarity), and literally agressively made sure everyone else did too, when he realised I'd been just letting people at work use whatever pronouns, he got really proactive and made sure all my paperwork was marked as "them" officially (with my permission). if anyone misgenered me he would get visably annoyed or disgusted, and there were a couple people who "forgot" (every time) and he actually got angry at them about it and reported them for harassment, which might've been a little extreme, but I honestly felt so validated, and I'm tearing up thinking about it. I don't think anyone's ever fought that hard in my corner, especially after only knowing me for, at that point, less than a year.

We worked together in a couple different parts of the business for a couple years, until some stuff happened that I shouldn't say bc I need my rp blog(s) to stay far away from my professional life, but we were gonna be working together doing something else, but it wasn't his thing, it was stressful and there were other reasons, but he just lost it and walked out.

we had a little joke when we were training before he left, he had this soft toy robin that he let me borrow because I was really anxious, and I gave it a little notepad and pencil and wrote something silly on it for when he got it back each time. usually some out of context joke on what we learned that day, so we could both laugh about it. but when he left I still had it, and I messaged him saying I would get it back to him sometime, but he said to keep it to remind me of him.

I put it away to keep it safe, but I'm gonna have to go and find it, because it's one of the only physical things I have left of him.

[hekateinhell]

How much does the mental endurance of the VC vampires evolve with their physical endurance? The fandom response is very mixed, sometimes they are called being "dramatic", and sometimes "traumatic". I mean, there's a clear regional and cultural divide in understanding these highly "westernized" creatures. Still, there's a difference between making poetic mistakes and being Simply Dumb. It appears that they mature backwards over time irrespective of their mortal 'turning-age' (unless it's convenient for the plot to do the opposite, e.g., Claudia).

This is such an interesting topic and one I genuinely wish Anne had delved into--it's just so ripe for exploration!

And you're right, because Anne didn't really set a baseline there, it's completely left up to our subjective interpretations. For instance, even a lot of disorders and their causes wouldn't have been officially recognized in the United States at the time Anne wrote the first trilogy; the clinical and sociological definitions of "trauma" and "traumatic" are also ever-evolving things, etc.

By mature backwards over time, do you mean that the characters regressed? That's how I'm reading it but I'm not sure if that's what you intended. Personally, I don't feel like it's true, but I suppose it depends on which character(s) we're talking about.

Louis and Armand came a long way from the people they were when Lestat first met them (Louis, guilt-ridden and suicidal; Armand, a traumatized and vengeful cemetery wench). I do think Anne definitely had a blind spot when it came to her favorites, Lestat and Marius, and that's why we don't see as much growth in them comparatively.

It's a valid and common enough criticism that Lestat didn't really do anything to "win" Louis back in the PL-trilogy (there are potential explanations for this), but I do see growth in Lestat in other ways--especially concerning his relationship with Armand. In BC, Armand literally says to Lestat's face, "[...] you have never given me your love," in the midst of a very dramatic scene, which Lestat doesn't have an answer to. But then in the next chapter Lestat tells us this, "The only thought in my mind, the only image, the only idea, was of Armand, and how Armand would feel when he too could hold Marius like this and know that Marius lived, that Marius had been restored, that all of them were safe and secure, and using my strongest power I sent the word to him. I sent the news. And I sent my love to Armand with it."

This is tremendous coming from Lestat, this is Lestat making an honest-to-God effort! In the middle of everything that's going on, he internalized what Armand said and made the conscious decision to be more transparent and intentional with his affections.

So could they all, collectively, have matured more over the course of forty years and over a dozen books? Yes, absolutely, and I'm upset we didn't see more of it. But did we get something at least? Also, yes.

[magicalgirlsirin]

@tokupidgeon challenge accepted . under the cut bc its very personal and gushy

my bipolar psychotic ass loves jirou: a thesis

i think the most important reason i resonate with jirou so much is bc the way he divides himself is sooooo bipolar in all directions. like genki!jirou is very cheerful but has low self esteem and needs to be validated a lot and canonically (!!!) has induced hallucinations of other people to prop up his mental state. my guy is so fucking frail up there but at the same time he has such a strong grasp on his own personality... it's just that he needs other people to tell him that he's worthy of attention. a sneef sneef whimper he just like me fr

loud!jirou on the other hand is meant to be a contrast by being more aggressive and cold, but honestly? his anger seems to be a result of whenever he loses his reason to be a "hero". [yes i am implying genki!jirou is the more manic coded of the two that boy has delusions the likes i know personally] but i think the reason that most ppl wouldnt read jiroujirou on the whole as bipolar is bc he actually has quite a good expression of a range of emotions?? which is soooo unfortunate bc i have never seen a guy more bipolar in my life.

this is where i get personal so enjoy the power leveling here: the specific brand of bipolar psychotic self hatred i struggled with for the LONGEST time was being very certain of who i was, but hating it so much that i wanted a different version of me to exist so i could just shove all my emotions somewhere else and be a perfect person that everyone loved. normal coping strats 101 of course.

seeing how jirou goes from trying to place himself in the highest position of the donbrothers with a self righteous attitude [saying kijino should be executed simply bc he failed in the task of not turning into a monster=bipolar splitting and categorizing people as purely good or purely evil and acting like your judgement is better than everyone elses] to trying to act like tarou because everyone likes tarou so if hes tarou too everyone will like him [classic case of if i kill my personality hard enough a new one will break through and be more likeable] to realizing his delusions arent helping him and the one person whos had his back the whole time has been the part of himself that hes been the most frustrated with [all his "unpleasant" and not well managed emotional cage] and just! he made food for himself and didnt know it bc he wished that someone else was caring about him.

but he realizes hes good enough for himself. yknow?

and the fact he can swap between dragoku and torabolt i touched on with my tags already but its like. it ties into the idea that hes accepted himself BUT that doesnt immediately clear up the issues he has. hes inviting his crazy other half back into his heart and it makes me go ue ue ue it rly just reaffirmed my own mental health journey. i love him so much you have to understand

[angelhummel]

It seems the Gleeks/klainers like you who have been there from the beginning love season 5b and the newer crowd in last five years hate it. And I think it’s what they did to Blaine’s character in that arc.

He’d been such a high achiever, leader of glee club really, getting into Nyada and engaged and they made him into this dependent wreck who lied and smothered Kurt. I don’t like what they did to his character at all.

weeell of course you know that i'm gonna disagree with that whole last part bc that's not what they did at all

they clearly showed us blaine struggling with body image issues that were exacerbated by his mental health issues. he was never a perfect person who had it all together, even when he was leading show choirs and getting good grades and getting into elite performing schools. we see these issues as early as season two. being oblivious to kurt's obvious feelings, overstepping with people like burt when he asked him to talk to kurt about sex, being unsure of himself - with his sexuality, not understanding people's intentions with him, not sure if he could even be a good boyfriend himself. He was kind of always a "wreck" and it's funny that that used to be what people hated about him and now people seem to see it as a reason to love him all the more

And like. Idk I think he had a dark point in s5 where he was handling things wrong and not communicating or coping like he should've been. I don't think he was 100% leaning on Kurt for support or smothering him. We actually get to see them doing their own things in those few episodes, like Blaine with June and Kurt with Peter Pan. They still support each other when they're off doing their own thing, but say that a success for one of them is a success for both of them bc they're partners who root for each other and know how to cheer the other one on

But even before that I mean, Blaine just went through a huge life change in graduating high school and moving from Lima to New York. That's no small feat. Everything's different, school is stressful, Kurt gets put in the damn hospital. Things are chaotic, and different, and scary. And we see all the NY characters coping with their new circumstances at different points in time. Sam, Santana, Mercedes, Rachel, Kurt - they all have different points of doubt, of feeling like they don't belong or not knowing what direction to go in. Blaine was far from the only one floundering, and it's unrealistic to expect any of them to be 100% sure of themselves and their lives at any point in time, but especially in s4-5

And I appreciate your ask and how you phrased it, with the dichotomy between original fans and newer fans. Because to me that also reads as the divide between older fans and younger fans. As in like, people who were teenagers or older who watched the show when it aired, and the teens or young adults who have just gotten into the show in the last few years*. Because those viewing experiences are bound to be different

I've had around a decade to watch and rewatch Glee, to process everything in it, and for my thoughts and opinions to morph and mature. Not to mention a decade of brain development and personal growth and life experience that would shape how I view a teen show like this. I didn't start watching Degrassi or PLL until relatively recently, and I know my thoughts on those shows now aren't the same as they would've been if I was watching them when they originally aired, either as a kid, teen, or even young adult

Obviously I'm not saying age = wisdom but when it comes to something like media analysis I do think that more life experience gives you more perspective and helps you understand things like this a little differently. I mean my blog is just shy of being 5 years old and I know there are things I said in 2018 that I don't agree with anymore. You just process things differently and you're gonna have changing opinions the older you get, that's just how it is

all this to say i think you mischaracterized blaine and did his s5b self an injustice lol. but that's just my opinion. i'd like to hear from some older/younger/newer/older fans and see if this is a common pattern

*im sure there are plenty of people who watched the show when it aired and were way too young for it, and grown adults who are still getting into it today. this statement was just a generalization and not meant to speak for everyone in the fandom

[that-punk-adam]

Sometimes I be reminded that the people in power have convinced members of the 99% that trans people are an issue by just existing. You can’t exist in the public OR the private for any reason. You can’t work a job and mind your business as a trans person bc ‘it’s an issue’, you can’t go out in public with friends to do whatever bc it’s ‘an issue’.

Have people forgotten that we are all literally the same? We work, we have families, we cry and love, we party and celebrate. It’s a cultural difference that those convinced members don’t truly understand. Just as with the cultural differences between white people and black people in America, there is a cultural difference between cis and trans people, and gay and straight people. The culture differs regionally too, which I think is cool.

I think it has to do with the scales of everything. There are a lot of trans people who are simple and just live their lives as human people who laugh and cry and love and have wants/needs/dreams. There are, though still a smaller population of trans people, who make an effort to make (their) gender/identity a prime staple of their life and have near everything revolve around it. They too laugh and cry and have hopes and dreams.Of that tiny population, it separates out to the people who are more the activist type and those who are more into it as a concept. It keeps dividing into more and more micro niche pockets of people, more and more .0000000001% of an already relatively small global population levels of niche. Numbers so small that they could probably get counted on your fingers

I really think that it’s the incessant inclusion of the internet into nearly every single aspect of daily life that’s wrecking the brains of already fragile minds. The alt right platform mentality is growing bc of the relatively innocent minds of people not knowing any better, of not knowing anything else other then what’s directly in front of them because of their life circumstances that they probably have no say in. Maybe they were told it was better for them and others around them, and that’s why they believe what they believe? Maybe it’s the sense if belonging they get because of those taught ideals, because they feel like they don’t belong in other available spaces in the real world..? Because of the heavy inclusion of online activity and spaces*, I think we’re loosing the ability to just… talk to each other. I think people don’t see other people as the same is them anymore… they are just you with a different pair of shoes and a different face, no matter how different they are.

( *- I could go on about all of that but I don’t want to make this post 50 thousand miles longer then it needs to so I’ve condensed this part.)

I’d love to live in a world one day where people as a whole understand more about other people in their own culture who are simply just a little more different then them. ‘Understanding’, in this context, put as plainly as possible, meaning “accepting that there are differences that you cannot control but that this differences aren’t going to kill or harm you in any way”, and not the more ‘universal’ use of the word that I’m hearing/understanding it to mean ‘accept 100% and are on equal levels with and are on board with ideally’. Instead of people attempting to get along and maybe talk things out so there is more understanding between cis and trans people we’re just going to keep fighting. I keep seeing the same exact things being tossed at one another and things gotta change, there really has to be a better way to talk to each other bc we’re going in circles. We are stuck in a rut and no one seems to be going anywhere besides around that corner.

You know what I’d love to do as a queer? Have a safe fair paying job with my lil squishy bf + friends (cis, straight, trans, and queer identities) and live out in a rural area away from the suburbs. We’d all love to have some goats or chickens or some other fowl. We’d love to have cats and a little cuddly socialized n trained chihuahua. If we could ever afford it, we’d have a small animal rescue. As long as you’re not harming anyone with your actions or your words, live and let live. I don’t want to live with anxiety that I’m gonna somehow end up on a hate group’s list because of a few cultural or social differences and be taken away to some strange and scary place (at the best) for who knows how long away from my family n friends because I happen to be different.

Please, for everyone’s health and safety, let’s learn to love each other again. The world is already a big and scary place that doesn’t need any more violence against one another.

[laikuh]

No pressure to answer, but how long have you been a teacher? What would you say the positives/negatives are?

i don't mind! i'm going into my fifth year teaching elementary.

positives:

kids are amazing. like. amazing. today one of my students apologized for drawing a picture that was too scary bc he drew himself as a blood-covered zombie child, and then made a scary face and was like, "i'm not a normal kid, i just wanna be a zombie when i grow up" like fuck yeah, i love you, zombie dude.

summers off are sort of overstated (i had 6 weeks vs 3 months) BUT i will take 6 guaranteed weeks off every year, plus 5 assorted other weeks throughout the school year, over an office job where getting time off is a lot more difficult

depending on what you do with the job, there can be a lot of rewarding meaning in what a teacher does. this is, to be completely blunt, depending on your skill and patience with kids that challenge you. are you willing to work with the kid who tries to kill himself and climb the fence and screams bloody murder multiple times a week? what about the kid who has to be locked out of your room after tearing it apart and bangs on the door repeatedly while you have to sit with your class and comfort them and tell them that student is having a hard time and still deserves kindness? obvi these are extreme scenarios, but i had 3 kids like this my very first year, and knowing they left my classroom every day feeling loved and seen by me does mean a lot to me. im still their favorite teacher three years later for a reason, and so getting into teaching means being ready to be responsible for children like that, and the benefit is you can genuinely make a difference and be their safe space if you have the capacity.

cons:

you will not be paid a living wage if you work for a public school. you won't. if you're responsible for your own bills, you very likely won't have enough to live comfortably. you will likely be paycheck to paycheck.

the last point above also goes here. my first year with that group was incredibly depleting. it was also a smack in the face when they went to new teachers who did not give them the care i did, and a lot of the work i put in was undone or underminded by teachers who believed them to be "bad kids" instead of victims of cptsd and mental instability.

this job will eat you alive if you let it, and you will have coworkers who think less of your ability to teach if you don't succumb to the workaholism. this was a hard lesson to learn that im still dealing with. my work day ends at 4, and i don't work from home or on the weekends. you'll hear people talk about not working outside your "contract hours" bc that's unpaid labor, and there is a divide between teachers who refuse to be exploited and the teachers who believe you're only worthy of the job if you exploit yourself. basically, people who see teaching as what you do vs. people who see it as who you are. you're more likely to burn out, and quick, if you side with the latter.

there's probably more of both, but that's what comes to mind now! thanks for asking...it's kinda nice to be given a chance to talk a little more about my job lol.

[saetoru]

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[none-gender-left-man]

It took me a lot of sitting back to figure out where I stand on this, I had to confront my own reactivity and almost fell off the wagon a bit, but after really thinking on it and confronting my own negative biases I need y'all who are throwing fits about "able bodied" ND ppl using cripple to take into consideration that ND conditions aren't somehow removed from the body. The brain is a material organ not some nebulous metaphysical entity.

I am clinically physically disabled, but even if I wasn't in the ways I am, would I not have the right to call myself a cripple when I dissociate and lose control of my body for hours or even days? That doesn't "count"? Why? Because it's isolated to the brain in origin? Even though it clearly has a material affect on the physiological body? Even though it unequivocally devastates the way I am able to interact with the world? I never heard anyone say neurological disorders "don't count bc it's from your brain". That's bc they have physiological impact, right? Why is it different when it's mental?

What about the fact that even things as common as anxiety and depression DO have long term physical effects on cardiac health among droves of other things? The long term effects of anxiety that can cause hypertension independent of any other condition? Why are y'all so obsessed w this strawman idea of "the able-bodied ppl with anxiety want to steal our slurs!!!!" Why do you presume to know the qualia of their life and MindBody experience better than they do? How do you KNOW they're "able bodied"?

Why do you presume anxiety and depression (or any mental disability) has no physiological toll?

What about people with mental disabilities that prevent them from speaking not due to any neurological or physiological reason? Where is the line between the body and mind in their dysfunction? Can anyone at all clarify or quantify this??? No. You can't. Their MENTAL disability prevents them from a PHYSICAL action, independent of a clinical physiological disability, yet they are STILL physically experiencing disability.

What about eating disorders that are inherently tied to both body and mind that WILL end in fatality if untreated?

You're building strawmen again, y'all.

Other disabled people aren't your enemy and mad pride has its place, you're right about that- but mad pride does not cover everything that a mental disability causes PHYSICALLY for every subject. Mad pride works to convey a pride in your lack of "sanity", but it conveys nothing related to how that affects the body. For those whose mental disability is intrinsic to their physical health it is not even remotely fair to gatekeep this word. To tell them their health symptoms aren't "enough". This is no better than the debate that tried to claim that chronic health and autoimmune disability should be 100% separate from other disabled people in the movement. This is no better than the people who tell me I can't claim cripple because I'm not a 24/7 wheelchair user. This is useless semantics.

Compartmentalizing the movement into multiple neatly categorized folders, further pathologizing and dividing ourselves, weaponizing trauma against one another, and acting out lateral violence does nothing. We work better as a god damn unit.

To ignore that mental disability can and usually does cause physically disabling effects without the presence of a "physical disability" is sanism and ableism. It's yet another way to gaslight ND ppl into a corner and frame them as attention seeking hypochondriacs. Congrats for joining the war on ableism on the side of ableism.

It's disappointing to see some people who's takes on transandrophobia I respect completely slipping.

How can you recognize in the context of another form of oppression that policing the use of language in theory like this is useless distracting semantics- but then turn around and pull the same shit w disability activism?

I am psychotic. I am a dissociative system. I am autistic. I have hEDS, NCAH, dysautonomia, and more. I belong to both of these communities and I don't want to see us tear each other apart for fuck's sake.

Learn to address when you're being reactionary!!!! I get where y'all came from with this but it doesn't mean it's right just because I understand it and almost fell into your logic myself at first. Y'all need to do what I did, identify your reactionary impulses, and SQUASH THEM.

We thrive together. If we tear one another part, the ableist and sanist system will simply laugh at us for self sabotaging, because we'll have served their goal.

Mindlessly jumping on the next wave of "YOU ARENT [BLANK] ENOUGH" discourse is almost always the wrong fucking move.

I want you all to take into consideration how truly debilitated and incapable of functions (INCLUDING PHYSICAL AND PHYSIOLOGICAL) some ND ppl are, even without a clinical "physical disability".

Because of my mental disability I'm less able to seek help for my physical disability because my being insane means I'm a "hypochondriac" that's not worth testing or taking seriously.

You are all very eager to forget that a lot of people who are mentally disabled are less likely to be given proper clinical care for physical symptoms, are more likely to be dismissed, and are more likely to go undiagnosed in many areas of health. You're not even considering that a large portion of these people also very likely HAVE clinical disabilities that they're not aware of yet and are actively experiencing symptoms of, and that them being brought into the cripple community with welcome arms could help THOUSANDS find answers and seek better care that they're being denied bc of sanism and ableism. You're too focused on feeling threatened and undermined to realize you're throwing your own under the bus materially.

Mental disability IS physical disability because the brain is a physical part of you. The mind isn't somehow alienated from the physical body. You can be physically disabled without a clinical physiological disability. If your mental disability impacts your physical capabilities, you are physically disabled even in the absence of a clinical physiological disability. You can claim cripple if you are physically impacted by disability of any kind. Period.

- sincerely a pissed off insane cripplepunk 🙃

Bad faith gets blocked.

[cinnamonest]

Yandere Profile - Link (Legend of Zelda)

ABSOLUTELY YES. MY BOY. LOVE OF MY LIFE.

As some of you may know, today is the release date of Skyward Sword HD for Switch!! So I decided to release this one now in honor of that :3

NOTES:

I went towards the idea of a Princess!reader because that just opens the gate for sooooo much potential. I'm leaning heavily towards the ZeLink interactions in BoTW and Skyward Sword just because those games have the most interaction between the two.

Also! This is great bc it gives me the opportunity to explore an idea I've actually had a long time! I've always thought about how many opportunities there have been across the games for Link and Zelda to be kinda like "haha well seeya later" and just... bolt, run away from everything, abandon their roles and responsibilities and all that. Like, if OoT kid Link got her before Ganon did and ran, if SS Link just decided to get her on the bird and bolt before everything went down, if botw Link was just like haha what if we ran away from everything together... jk... unless...?

And final note, Link is a great pick for the very traditional yandere -- sweet and : ) but can snap into darker personas. I really liked writing this bc I tend to have more self centered yans and less of the "worships the ground you walk on" type of yans like I think Link would be, so it's a nice change.

As usual now the nsfw section is divided by a ---- line.

TWs: fem reader, heavily implied Zelda!reader, stalking, murder, very brief mentions of gore/dismemberment of rivals, manipulation, very brief suicide mention, themes of reincarnation (I’ve been told this can be triggering to some people so just in case)

TWs (nsfw section): noncon, somnophilia

--------------------------------

Severity Scale

Intelligence/Perceptiveness: 4 Brutality: 8.5 Physical capability: 8 Mental/emotional instability: 7 Restrictiveness: 6 Sexual sadism: 5 Stubbornness: 8

What are they generally like? Lucid, aware? Obsessive? How do they behave?

The primary trait of Link that any darling -- any person, really -- would notice is that he is, well, quiet. He has always been a man of few words, and really, he often doesn't know exactly what to say. On his own, at a first glance, he really does seem like a gentle, humble spirit, someone who blends into the background pretty well, who isn't particularly prideful or reckless or aggressive.

Which is why, to be honest, he might sort of evade the gaze of most people -- he doesn't stand out. You remember him as the boy that smiled at you now and then, it's a soft, gentle sort of smile, one that you feel conveys nothing but the utmost innocence and contentment with the world. You know he's pretty good at fighting, but doesn't get into fights needlessly, he's accomplished and respected, but has never been the guy everyone is talking about -- he's in the background, against the wall. Never speaking, always looking out, sometimes at the sky, sometimes carefully watching people. Sometimes you see him, gaze blank and tranquil, and wonder what he's thinking about. Whether he's the village boy in the time of Twilight, the trained and honored warrior that slept for many years, the boy that came down from the sky -- you can't help but feel at ease around him, safe, you can't help but find him endearing and pleasant.

Yet, you always seem to notice him. Other people... forget he exists, sometimes, he's so quiet. You never do, for whatever reason.

When he needs to get something across, he prefers to express himself through actions, not words. If you lived in Skyloft, or Ordon village, you might find problems mysteriously solved, work suddenly done that you don't remember doing. That fencepost outside your home that broke has been replaced overnight. A village child went missing and he comes back a few hours later with them in tow. Always humble, never demanding or expecting thanks, he tells you in his quiet voice that he's happy to help you.

And should you ever ask him for anything, he'll drop whatever he's doing to help. Anything for you, he says with a smile, which makes you feel a bit guilty when, honestly, you're not even sure you're remembering his name right.

And yet, sometimes, you feel so at ease around him it seems unnatural. He seems so easy to trust. You feel like you've known him forever. And sometimes you feel... for just a split second, less at ease. You find yourself randomly stiffening at his calm, sweet voice. You find yourself looking around when you're alone, as if you feel someone is there, and for some reason, his face flashes through your mind. Sometimes when he looks at you, you feel sort of cold. It's almost like invoking a memory you don't have, like some kind of learned instinct you can't recall a reason for. But those moments are fleeting, they come and go before you can even process them, replaced by warmth and comfort.

If you do spend time with him, if you find yourself gazing out your window when he's training, the next thing you notice besides him being quiet and sweet is that he's strong. It's almost ironic, how all the other knights or village boys are so aggressive and rowdy all the time, many of them taller or bulkier, and yet, none of them could ever dream of defeating Link. Not one can match his agility, speed, prowess. Such a pleasant, calm person, with so much skill, strength, and power, but that power is so rarely seen exerted. People marvel at his talent, they say it's as if he has the experience of lifetimes and lifetimes of battle in his blood.

And it's why you feel at ease when he's assigned the task of guarding you. His capabilities are unmatched, and yet you'd never fear any harm to you from him. Both of those traits put together make him the best candidate to protect you.

Of course, you do find yourself doing most of the talking. Sometimes you find yourself rambling to fill the silence, and you fear you're annoying him, but when you stop he raises an eyebrow and asks why you got so quiet. Did he do something wrong? He seems to worry about that a lot -- has he done something bad? Has he made you upset? Are you mad? At first you think he's worried about his position security, but after a while you realize he genuinely worries about it.

And when you do continue your ramblings, you're surprised to find he remembers your words -- every little thing you say. Things you don't even remember telling him. He asks you about that relative you mentioned one time, his eyes light up and he walks a bit to the side because look, it's your favorite flower over there, he'll get it for you. It's impressive, really, how he manages to remember such things. He must take his job very seriously.

He does enjoy giving you such things -- he loves giving you gifts. It's usually things he finds, wholesome little things -- makes a crown out of the flowers you like so much, finds something interesting here or there, while he was off-duty he saw something in the markets he thought you'd like and got it for you. You almost feel guilty, it's so constant that he's giving you things.

Sometimes you ask him about himself, you realize he knows so much about you and you so little about him. He blushes, he rubs the back of his head, he insists there's nothing interesting about him, he wouldn't waste your time like that. It takes time to get him out of his shell, but eventually, he tells you this or that, little stories from his life.

Sometimes you take long walks, you like to get out of the stuffy walls and have fun outside, he accompanies you across Hyrule. Sometimes it feels familiar, you pass places you've never been that give you a feeling of nostalgia, deja vu, a sense that you've been here before.

He’s protectiveness incarnated. Insanely so. He can spring to his feet at a moment's notice and deals with anything that comes for you before they can even get close.

It makes you feel safe, but there's something else there. It's a ferocity that is so contrasting to his normal self, different even from the times you've seen him fight as he trains. It's a glint in the eyes, an aggression in his expression, that almost makes him seem like a different person. And it lingers for a moment, once the creature is dead and his sword hand falls to his side, he turns and glances at you to his side, a hand raised to wipe the blood off his face, and for that lingering second, it's still there, his blank expression and wide eyes -- a ferocity so intense it starts to look like bloodlust, chaos, destruction. And then, it's as if you imagined it. Smiling and telling you it's gone now, you're ok. You're glad he's so truly devoted.

In fact, he's so dedicated to his job that he starts... doing it... outside of his job hours...? Well, today he was given the day off, and you were told to stay inside because you didn't have to go out. He comes knocking on your door, says not to be startled if you hear someone outside your door move or shift or anything, but he just wanted to let you know in case. He'll be right here. Keeping watch. So don't worry. You're safe.

And likewise, he was supposed to have a day off when you were supposed to enter the town. You were assigned two other guards to watch you, since it's a special trip, so you're surprised to find just Link waiting for you. He took care of it, he says, he didn't feel right leaving your safety up to someone else, he doesn't trust them. So they agreed to let him take over for today.

All of this said, he doesn't have to grow alongside you, he doesn't have to be the childhood friend, the knight who guards you. He doesn't even have to have met you. Fate works in odd ways like that. There's a sort of inexplicable instant attachment he takes to you, almost as though it's some kind of destined, divinely inspired sort of thing. He would describe it as saying you feel familiar to him.

He's also, notably, prone to a more traditional trope of what you might call humility whiplash. For the most part, he's got that overly humble, worshipping, "I don't deserve to even stand in your presence" sort of mentality. However, although it's rare and requires a lot of wearing down his mental state, if pushed far enough, he can have brief moments where he snaps into more or less the complete opposite -- entitlement, arrogance, aggression, getting mad at you for the behavior he'd normally take with a smile on his face. Thankfully, unlike some yanderes that have a whole snapping episode towards their darling, his are very very brief, usually only a matter of seconds or a single snarled sentence before he snaps back to normal, wide-eyed and apologetic and telling you I don't know what came over me. It’s... a little frightening to say the least, but you blow it off, tell yourself that hey, everyone has moments like that... Right?

How likely are they to kidnap their darling? How quickly will they do so?

For the most part, he doesn't need it, he can pretty easily cling to your side well enough to be assured of your safety, and he manages to scare off the undesirables not with a glare, but a smile that's just a little too sweet and far too persistent -- it unnerves people. You hear a lot of people say that something about that guy rubs me the wrong way. Or that he gives me goosebumps for some reason. Even the people he scares away themselves can't pinpoint exactly what it is, all they know is that, despite being reputed as kind and quiet (and maybe a little dense), somehow a lot of people agree that something about him puts people at unease, and that's all he needs. Because they stay away from him, and if he’s by your side all the time, that means they stay away from you too. Why keep you trapped when you can just be isolated?

An aware Link is a a unique scenario. One scenario that's rather... interesting to imagine is a Link that defies fate itself, a Link that decides to be selfish in one of those rare snapping moments of his. Perhaps he makes a decision when everything starts going down, when the chaos is beginning, or perhaps he has somehow managed to gain knowledge of the bigger picture at work, the reality of the nature of your existence and his.

Perhaps he begins to think it's unfair. To suffer again and again. To prove himself again and again, and not always even to reap any benefits, to work so hard and yet still -- still -- you slip out of his grasp. He longs for a life with no tribulations, no struggle, no fights to be fought. He begins to feel like it's what he wants the most. He begins to feel like maybe it's what he deserves. So many lifetimes of struggles, if the higher powers won't give him a reward, he'll take it himself.

And perhaps, for all their higher power, not even the great goddesses themselves would have ever predicted it -- humans are ultimately creatures of will. To defy fate and to run away from destiny -- it wouldn't be the first time a human has tried such a thing. Sure, Hyrule may be destroyed. The people may all die. There may be nothing left. But you know what? He's stopped caring. If you're alive and he's alive, tucked away in your little corner of the world where you've found respite, well, that's all he needs. Even if you're on the run from forces that would want to find you, even if the threat of the final third of the triforce owner looms over your head. He'll ignore it, he'll look away.

You'll live a quiet little life together, a happy life without suffering, without quests and enemies, without strife, without worry. That's what he tells you when he steals you away, lifts you out of your bed one night. Says to be quiet, there's danger outside your door, he's rescuing you. You have no reason to not believe him. He waits until things go down, a castle under siege, but rather than taking you to where you're supposed to go, he climbs onto the horse and starts... riding away. It gets further and further into the distance, and you might ask why, what's going on? You have a job to do, he has a battle to be fought. But he says you're going far, far away, someplace you'll be safe.

But what about the divine beasts, the seals, the Twilight, whatever threat runs in this world in this time, what about the threat of Ganon, you ask? He says it doesn't matter anymore. You were doomed to fail, he thinks, it's either stay here and die, or run away. All that matters is you. And he'd like you to feel the same way for him. You will with enough time, don't worry.

He just wants this happy, quiet life with you that he’s been denied time and time again. It’s all he wants. If fate won’t give it to him, he’ll make it happen himself, and carve out the life he is determined to have, defying even the will of higher power.

How difficult is it to escape from them? How do they keep you restrained? How do they deal with attempted escape? 

He gets it. Really, he does. "Stop following me!" You yell. Well, he understands why you might feel that way, but this is kinda his job. He thinks you're naive. Not that he would ever, ever have a thought that you're imperfect, of course! It's because you're so perfect and pure that you're... less aware of the dangers all around.

He'll let you think you're free, perhaps. He's more than capable of being quiet, quiet is kind of his thing. Watching you from a short distance is easy. Of course, his horse might make a noise, he can't really help that, or he might misstep on a branch or something. And then you turn around and get all mad again. Now you're even more angry. Well, he can also tell your guardians/father, who will encourage you to accept it. You can't help but feel a little bad -- he's just doing his job.

Now, our aware, runaway Link, well, does he really need to keep you restrained? What would you go back to? Certain death, a land destroyed? Sometimes you mention home, and he's quick to remind you that home doesn't exist anymore. His home is where you are. Can't you feel the same way? You found peace here in this little place -- a village far far away. Travelers, you call yourselves. What's the point in going elsewhere? How would you ever survive without him? He's not very good at being subtle or skillful about the psychological manipulation, it's obvious he's trying to scare you into not leaving, but... it still works, because really, he has a point.

He doesn't want to have to use physical restraint, in any case. And for the most part, it's not needed, because one important aspect of your relation is that his job kinda revolves around you (in some incarnations), or, perhaps you live in the same little village, but either way the thing is that his presence does the job well enough -- he's always there, perhaps more so than almost any other yandere. Even when you think you've managed to get away from him for a moment, somehow his face pops up out of nowhere. How he manages to pull it off is a mystery, you swear he manages to find you so well and predict your movements it's inhuman.

But if you really, really pose a problem, a smarter and sneakier darling that somehow manages to keep slipping out of his grasp and running off (you never get away for more than about 20 minutes or so, but nonetheless), you keep trying to run off when he's sleeping (he wakes up in approximately 25 seconds if your presence is absent from the bed, but that's still enough time to run out the front door), every time he turns his head (which isn't often) you're trying to disappear... well, in that case, he can reach a point of deciding more straightforward measures are necessary. He hates to do it, really, at least when he's not yet at a snapping point. But it's for your own good. And he says so, quite apologetically.

But it's not so bad, it's not like you're being chained to a wall or anything. For one, he got leather ties so you'd be more comfortable, but more importantly, as your guardian, he figured the best thing for you to be tied to would be... himself. Think of it like friendship bracelets! It's just... got a 5-foot chain connecting them. This way you can't sneak off at night, and you won't get too far when he's distracted. It's a safety measure.

How easy are they to trick, deceive, or manipulate?

He's a learner. At first, it's easy. Honestly, he is a rather naive, gullible boy, sometimes he reminds you of a happy dog with his bright eyes. He likes to believe the best of people, give them the benefit of the doubt in all circumstances, and that goes double for you, who he believes can do no wrong.

And even when you do lie to him, it's still not wrong. You didn't do anything bad. Clearly there has simply been a misunderstanding, and you thought you had to lie. Or perhaps you simply forgot a detail or were confusing something with something else. It wasn't malicious on your end, he knows that.

He's actually significantly smarter than he lets on in practical knowledge, though. Those dungeon puzzles pay off, you know? He's got pattern recognition down. So over time he learns how to distinguish when you're lying to him or attempting to deceive him, and sees through it increasingly well.

And yet, he doesn't really... get mad over it, most of the time. Again, he's just capable of deluding himself into believing there's a reason. He believes so strongly in your goodness that he finds a way to interpret everything you do as out of benevolence. So you snuck out the window and didn't tell him you were going for a walk because you just wanted to get away from his suffocating presence for once? You were just thinking of him. You didn't want to burden him and wanted to give him a break. Well, that's thoughtful, but don't worry, he doesn't need a break. He thinks it's precious you're so considerate of him though!

You don't tell him you were talking to that person, and you lie and say no when he asks, because you don't want him to worry, and because you underestimate how dangerous others can be. He's told you a million times and you don't listen, but that's ok, it's because you're just so pure you see the best in everyone. Everything you do is good.

Because he perceives your lies, he will still work against and around it. He won't confront you on your lies, he'll just make sure to deal with the situation -- you lied about sneaking out, well, he'll just keep watch and be ready to meet you outside next time. You lied about talking to a person, well, he'll just have to make sure they stay away from you instead.

If you're trying to trick him, he just plays along until necessary. Smiles and nods. He gets the suspicion you're planning a break-out when he told you he was leaving to go get something from town... rather than saying so, he just decides, you know what? Why don't you come with him? Oh, you're feeling sick, you tell him it's ok, go without you? Well, he can't leave you alone then! Because you're clearly not and just trying to get him to leave... or, as he says, he can't just leave you alone. He'll go another day.

He's fairly manipulable when it comes to praise and affection. You can easily Pavlov him into certain behaviors or patterns with just the slightest words of praise and affection. He's not a very outwardly expressive person, tends to stay quiet, but you can tell how he feels inside when you give the slightest praise, a hug, a kiss on the cheek -- you can see that soft hint of a smile and tell that inside, he's basically melting, even if it's not obvious to most people. And, much like the lying, he’s honestly often aware of it, but he just can’t help it.

How lenient are they? What privileges can you have, and what will you be denied?

He tries to get you the things that he feels will make you happy. Your happiness is incredibly important to him, and he usually thinks about how any action he plans to take might affect you, spends a lot of time debating choices of things to do or say and try to determine how each one will affect you and choose accordingly.

As such, he goes out of his way to support the things you want to do. Have a hobby? He'll find the best materials available. Want a book or a food? He'll obtain it through some means. Even if procuring it involves a side-quest-y set of mundane tasks or scouring the world for 70 of this and 50 of that to exchange it for the item from an obscure specialist, it's all worth it.

The only thing he just doesn't give up on is the constant vigilance and insistence on being by your side more or less every waking second. And every sleeping second. And just every single moment you're alive. It's for your safety.

This is actually one of the things he can get a little nasty about when it comes to how he deals with it, because he quickly has the bright idea that if you don't get it, he'll make you understand. Of course, he can't actually risk you getting hurt, so he stages it. Allows you to sneak off, or at least think you have, and walk right into the path of those monsters he lured, or the people he hired to intimidate you. Of course, it's only natural that he shows up at the last possible second, right on time to save you. You should expect that, after all, it's his responsibility to protect you, of course fate works out perfectly like this. See, he was right, it's so dangerous, and without him you'd be dead. Hopefully you grasp that now.

What kind of rules do they have? What kind of punishment would they use?

His is mostly related to vigilance. Where are you? Who have you been talking to? Who was that person you were talking with just now? What did they say? He's not nosy. He just cares about you. It’s in the job description. You ought to understand just how much certain bad people would love to find you and hurt you. That's why he has to know.

This isn't our modern world, so there's no phones or tracking devices to speak of, just himself, which, well, might as well be a tracking device since he never seems to have difficulty finding you. Sometimes you're not sure how he does it.

He tells you that you don't have to be with him 24/7, but you will be, even if you don't realize it. He's aware enough to know that you'll feel suffocated and get mad if you're aware of his presence all the time, so he gives you your "alone" time, aka, the "follow her quietly from a 20+ foot distance" time. It all feels the same to you. Well, sometimes you feel eyes on you, but you shake the feeling off as paranoia.

So it's not so much that he sets rules and reacts when they're broken, but rather, he works his way around anything you might do so well that he doesn't need you to follow his rules, or really, you take them more as suggestions. But honestly, that's kind of worse. It's enough to drive a darling to the brink of a mental breakdown very quickly. With Link you will inevitably become paranoid, nervous, you feel like you're going insane because he manages to pop up everywhere, he always knows what you did when you did it and you have no idea how it is even conceivably possible for him to know some of the things that he knows. He confronts you very plainly and quietly, often sweetly, asking why you did this or that or telling you it's ok, you don't have to hide anything, surely there’s a good reason, and if not, he forgives you anyway. In a way, it's worse than an angry confrontation. You begin to feel like he's omnipresent, like he can read your mind, and it truly takes a mental toll and affect you worse than any normal yandere's concept of punishment.

This ultimately works out well in his favor. The more you just do what he wants, the less it feels like a violation or intrusion that he knows these things, since he was there with you, it makes sense, and you continuously get bent to his will.

How do they deal with rivals, or perceived rivals? Will they get rid of them? Will they kill them themselves, or find another way?

Ah, and thus we get to that brutality rating.

It would be unthinkable to think that any sort of scum would even dare. Even he isn't worthy of being with you, and someone else thinks they could be? So, he more or less views "rivals" as an offense. When they're threats, well, he's allowed to deal with them. When they're not, well... he has a wonderful reputation. If he says he overheard that person planning usurpation or assassination, that they realized he was listening in and wildly attacked him, everyone will believe him. Even if the death seems a little... non-immediate. And uh... frankly... overkill. How exactly... did those limbs get perfectly severed during equally armed combat? And was it... really necessary... to kinda spill entrails all over like that? He'll apologize, of course, he was just so outraged by the thought of someone hurting you or your family, you know? You notice his eye twitches a bit as he says it.

He has a lot of... bottled up frustrations, which we'll touch on in the nsfw section as well, but it tends to manifest in those two ways: sex and violence. Rather than exerting stress and anger and frustration as it comes, he lets it fester. He tries to maintain being the noble, humble, self-sacrificing person he feels he should be. That is... difficult to do for a long time. People expect a lot from him, even in timelines where he's not necessarily realized as the hero quite yet, he usually has a lot of responsibilities. But then you tack on the whole hero thing? The weight of the world is sometimes, quite literally, on his shoulders. Do you have any idea the kind of stress that comes with that knowledge? It's not pleasant. And it quickly bottles up, a very very fragile bottle set to eventually shatter in a matter of time.

On a longer sort of quest, he just kinda... leaves a trail of destruction in his wake. Enemies don't actually just poof out of existence the way they do on-screen, you know. Anyone coming across an area he's just been through is met with literal piles upon piles of corpses, sometimes monsters, but sometimes people. He takes a very scorched earth sort of policy when it comes to dealing with things.

He's able to easily get close to people, with that sweet face and puppy eyes and lithe body, people don't really feel on guard around him nor intimidated. That makes it significantly easier to infiltrate enemy hideouts, earn favors, and work his way in to be able to commit mass murder more easily. Granted, no one thinks too much of it because they *are* truly enemies, after all, they *did* need to be taken out and well, if the rulers can choose to either send a group of ten soldiers or just one guy and get the job done equally well either way, they'll go with the latter option. No one thinks anything of it, except the occasional person who laughs and says something to the effect of remind me to never get on your bad side, haha! He gives that sheepish, sweet little smile, and jokingly tells them that yeah, better not.

How easy is it to make them mad? What does their anger look like?

For you, nearly impossible. For others, at a hair trigger.

For the most part, he conceals anger well until, as aforementioned, it bottles up and bursts. The truth is he gets irritated virtually all the time by other people. People who talk to you. Look at you. Smile at you. He’s actually rather easily annoyed even when you’re not involved, but again, he’s good at hiding it until it builds.

His rage has a commonality with his calm -- it's quiet. At least, at first. When it's directed at others, his eyes narrow. It's the telltale sign that someone has ignited his rage. It burns on the inside, it starts off as a spark that builds and builds and grows larger and larger until it's a blazing fire that consumes everything in his path. It's a loss of composure, a rare moment of complete loss of self-control. From his own perspective, it feels like he's not in control of his own body, it's all a blur happening in front of him and when it's over he's looking down at his own hands, unable to process his own actions, sometimes unable to remember them.

But it's violent, merciless, unforgiving. It does not yield to begging, it does not leave anything alive unless forced to. You remember the first time you realized how unnatural it was, how shocked you were at how he did something that certainly went against the code he was sworn to follow, the very first time you felt truly afraid of Link. It was a walk in town -- someone called out to you, spitting obscenities about you and your family, your lineage, threw something at you -- he caught it in his hand and crushed it, and quickly, without a word, advanced on the offender. And, to make a long story short, you had to prevent him from beating a man to death in public in broad daylight. He was forgiven by his superiors, but even they seemed shocked. You had to pull him off, and when he jerked his head around to look at whatever was stopping him -- before his face softened as he recognized your own face -- the split second you saw the burn of hatred and fury in eyes that were normally so soft and loving, was nothing short of unsettling, you still recall the chill that ran down your spine.

And honestly? It's terrifying. And the first time, it's shocking. Sure, you knew he could fight. You've seen him fight off monsters, bokoblins and lizalfos and the like. But something is different about seeing the blood of a human being run down his sword, dripping onto the ground, to see the bodies and the blank, numb gaze on his features he always has after it's over. The absolute lack of hesitancy he has to run human enemies through before they even have a chance to explain themselves, how unbothered he seems by the carnage left in his wake. The way he turns back to you, drenched in red and smiles, tells you it's ok, you're safe now. There's no need to look so scared.

And it changes how you view him, in the long run. Less of a guardian angel, more of a guardian dog, one that defends your name when you never asked him to. Pleads to tell him not to fall on deaf ears -- you just don't understand why it has to be this way, he says, you can't comprehend the threat they posed. From the sweet boy that leaves you flowers and repairs and instead leaves a wave of destruction in his path you would not have thought possible.

Directed towards you, though, it's entirely different. He tries his best to have patience with you, no matter what. He smiles, he tries to make excuses as to why you'd say this or do that, why you'd feel a certain way, and he's rather good at deluding himself to give you the benefit of the doubt.

But when it reaches an end, when he can no longer lie to himself, when you push it to a point that you truly make him mad, it's more of a snap. The times he'll lay hands on you in a truly violent way are rare, and as aforementioned, very brief. It's usually not so much of actually a blow, so much as a grab. He just can't get what he's trying to tell you through your thick head, so he stresses it, trying to make you understand as he grabs you by the upper arms, shaking you with each word, and he only stops when he sees the pain and fear in your eyes, drawing his hands back at lightning speed. He saves you from some danger very narrowly, one of the few times he lost track of you for a moment and had to frantically search before coming across you being attacked. What would I have done if something happened to you? Don't you understand that? He's so lost in the relief it takes him a moment to feel you beating on his arms in the embrace, choking and wheezing that you can't breathe, that his grip is so tight it feels like he'll snap you in half. He draws back again, and he apologizes, but it will certainly happen more than once.

So they see you as above them, beneath them, or equal to them?

Above. Like, so, so, so far above. He feels like he doesn't even deserve to look at you. Of course, neither does anyone else, so he's just, you know, stepping up to bear the burden of wrongdoing to keep people even worse than him away from you.

So it's less that you're just above him so much as you're above everyone. He's actually, perhaps surprisingly, a little bit of a pessimist about the world. The world is full of so many terrible people and so many horrible things happen that he's borne witness to. It's a "world cold and hard, (y/n) soft and warm" sort of thing. You're the one good thing, the thing that makes him happy, the ultimate source of comfort he has, and he has to prevent you from being defiled by the evil of the world, keep you innocent and sweet (even if he's just deluding himself to think you are those things in the first place).

This ties into, again, how he interprets every action you take as good and benevolent -- he has the "you can do no wrong" mentality. Even very blatantly malicious things, he'll interpret in a way that makes you somehow still come out a perfect, innocent angel. If you do harm to others, well, they simply deserved it. You did something technically wrong, but you knew no better, or you were desperate. You can't be held responsible for any of it. And if you're mean to him, well, he probably did something to make you upset.

How determined are they for you to love them? How hard will they try to make it happen? Or are they content just having you?

Sort of a duality. Yes, he's very persistent. He thinks about it all the time. Every time you yell and try to run and hurl nasty insults at him, it hurts far more than you realize. He doesn't let it show on his face or in his voice, but it really does, and it gets to him sometimes. He's hyper observant of every little thing you do, your body language, your tone, the way you look at him, and the slightest of differences can change his mood internally, although it tends to look the same outwardly.

He makes little mental notes of it -- today she didn't flinch when I touched her shoulder. Today she didn't frown when she saw me coming. Little things like that will make his entire day. Likewise, the inverse kills him inside. He aims to make every day one of the former days, where the littlest signs of acceptance or even kindness and affection give him a sort of high that makes him feel like he's floating.

He tries his best to do things that he thinks will, well, earn love. Every opportunity to do something for you, he takes it. Everything he sees he'd think you'd like, he buys (or steals, or... loots from a dead body) for you. On and on that idea goes. And although he doesn't say too much, when he does speak to you, he usually has something nice to say. He views it in a formulaic way -- ironically, think about it like those collectibles in overworlds. You get enough of this or that thing, and once you have enough, you can go talk to this or that person and donate them all and get a reward, right? He's accustomed to viewing things that way. Love should be the same way. If he just completes enough tasks and gathers enough items, eventually he'll unlock your love.

That being said, even if it doesn't happen, much to your despair, he just... doesn't. Give. Up. He doesn't quit. No matter how many times you tell him, it doesn't make a difference. You can tell him you'll never love him, and it's like it goes in one ear and out the other. He keeps trying. And he never, ever, ever stops trying. What did you expect? The boy's been fighting the same enemy over and over across lifetimes, needless to say his spirit has build up some persistence.

Bonus: Is there anything that makes them unique, in comparison to other yanderes?

Bonus: Zelda/Triforce of Wisdom Darling

And don't worry. If it all goes wrong, when he fails, those divergences in time where the hero is vanquished and evil wins out -- it's not the end. Somehow, that's the feeling he gets, holding your little lifeless body up, running hands across your cold skin. Somehow, he feels oddly calm. Like it hurts, but it's ok. Like he'll see you again. Maybe not soon, but one day. This time didn't work out. But the next one will.

And that's the feeling you'll always have. Every time you meet him and you feel like you've met before, the lingering memories when you wake from your dreams -- flying through skies and sailing on oceans, a child, an adult, a boy you've never met, or one you've known all your life, but it's always the same face, the same voice, the one right beside you in the waking world. You sometimes wonder if he has the same feelings, the same dreams, the same sense of something greater than yourselves at work, the sense of being just smaller pieces in a much bigger picture.

The sense of permanency, that each other is all there will ever be -- regardless of how it makes you feel, regardless of how that scares you, sometimes you feel like you can never be free. Sometimes, when you think of running away, those dark moments when you think of even escaping from life itself, it feels futile. It's as if you know it would never hold him away forever. As if death is insignificant. Perhaps in this lifetime, you'll become aware of why that is, or perhaps not.

With other obsessive lovers, just the idea of til death do us part is a terrifying thought. But, for Link, not even death can keep him away from you. Your suffering is already determined by the will of higher power, for the sake of a greater good. 

In truth, it’s the goddesses who made him this way intentionally -- it’s designed to ensure your safety, even at the cost of your suffering. Again, for a greater good. Sure, you may live one lifetime to the next desperately locked in the same cycle in which your freedom and will is stripped from you, but in the end, it serves a purpose. 

Nor will he change -- perhaps this one this time is a bit more spirited, more calm, more pessimistic, more optimistic... but in the end, at their core, they're the same soul, with the same will deep, deep down. The same drive to find you and protect you. The same love for you, an all-consuming love that destroys everything in its path to you and leaves ruin in its wake.

And if fate should one day keep you apart, should things change, for whatever reason, it’s unable to change him. There's another force even more powerful than fate determined to keep you together. The only thing more unavoidable, inevitable, and unescapable than fate, is Link himself.

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General perverseness: how sexual of a person are they? What’s their drive like? How touchy do they get? Do they have any reservations about sexuality?

In moments of passion, he changes a bit, unlike other more submissive yans who stay consistent in their reverence and desire to please.

You see, after a while, being as lenient and tolerant and flexible and completely devoted as he is... constantly self-sacrificing in so many ways, to you, to Hyrule, to the world... some frustrations build up. It's a big, big bottle of emotion, all tucked away and festering, getting greater and greater and eventually it has to explode somehow.

His reservations and inhibitions fall away. Perhaps a darker, more selfish side comes out. Perhaps that's why he's so rough. He knows he'll regret it later, the bruises from how hard he grips, the marks from the bites, but the hormones and the heat takes over. He'll feel bad for defiling you. He'll apologize. And he'll do it again. And again. And again.

But once the resolve crumbles, it topples. That is, he can't partially maintain it -- if it's partially gone, it falls apart completely. He lets go, so to speak. And when he lets go, you find that underneath that carefully constructed resolve and willpower that holds him back, he can be a very, very rough and possessive lover. In his normal state, he wouldn't dare think of you as a possession, or as something he's even worthy of. He would like so, so much to think that, to feel like he's allowed to -- but he doesn't. He chastises himself for even having such a desire. But in those moments, when his resolve is gone and his brain isn't thinking quite too clearly, he might even have to audacity to say "mine." Even if it's not true, not now, maybe it will be. He would like that so much. His and his alone.

And in a moment of clarity, he might even throw away the inhibition on purpose. The more selfish side, the same Link that drags you away from your destiny -- he's already forsaken his responsibilities, hasn't he? Why care anymore about the structures that no longer exist, your status and his, if there's no kingdom left? He likes that it happened, even. This way, this time, you can throw off those titles, those roles. Without your status, your title, there's nothing stopping him from making you his. And you will be his, and nothing more. It's all you need to be. So he doesn't have to care anymore about any of that, he doesn't have to stop himself from going wild. Biting into every little spare patch of skin, covering your body with marks that make him feel comforted to see.

As far as drive it's a bit of a two-sided duality. Outwardly he's not a very sexual person at all, blushes and stutters and averts his gaze at the slightest mention of suggestive topics, tries his best to be Respectful(tm) by always looking away when you're in a compromising position, or your skirt flies up, etc etc. Given how constant his vigilance is, he has a tendency to accidentally walk in on your changing or bathing, except unlike with many yanderes, it's genuinely an accident. Not that the image doesn't stick in his mind, nor does he wish he hadn't gotten to see, but he does feel guilty, and it was genuinely unintentional. He kinda freezes up, so it takes a moment for him to actually snap out of it and run out.

That being said, he quickly develops something of a masturbation addiction when he's younger, it starts as more of a stress reliever than anything, He's so sweet and always feels bad about talking about his problems and feelings, so that and, well, violence are the only ways he can get it out. Thus he learns to channel stress and nerves into sexuality, and once he has a real living body and not just his hand, that dependency on cumming to relieve it doesn't change.

How forceful are they? Do they care about your willingness?

Particularly so, yes, cares quite a bit. And it takes a while for him to feel comfortable. Even consensually, the first few times he touches you for several months, he's got trembling hands and stays quieter than ever, constantly freezes up every time you move or make a noise because he thinks he's done something wrong. He has to be coaxed into feeling more comfortable before he gets used to it, but he will build confidence over time.

As addressed before, though, if he's pushed and pushed and pushed long enough, you can get a darker side to come out. This is most likely something that would only occur post-kidnapping in a distant time, once he's far away from any possibility of consequence and destruction has set in to the world around you. He starts to get a little bitter, if you've been mean to him. It all builds up. Don't you get that he's literally saved your life? That he devoted every waking second to you? Isn't he kinda entitled to some thanks? The cycle of time never rewards him. Even the figures he helps over time rarely give him more than a verbal praise and thanks, maybe an item here or there, and then disappear. His role feels thankless. He starts to feel like he deserves something, something tangible, in return.

Surprisingly, though, he actually does not take the route of guilt-tripping or emotional manipulation or gaslighting his way into it like a lot of the sweeter yanderes when he does have that snap. His snaps/breakdowns are rather extreme in terms of how much of a polar opposite they are to his normal state, rather than just a slight bend of his normal personality. Rather than taking the route of most yanderes like himself, he just gets directly physically forceful. Still somewhat sweet, though, reminds you he loves you, he'd die for you, you're his entire world. You'd argue that doesn't really change the actions, but considering how frightening he is in that state, you're not dumb enough to vocalize that.

The guilt consumes him alive afterwards. Like, immediately afterwards. He's still panting and twitching and buried inside when it sets in. That being said, he doesn't get to stuttering and profusely apologizing, like he does over smaller offenses. It's all done and he can't take it back, so he just kinda collapses and says nothing. He's not the best with words, you know. It's an odd mixture of guilt and, honestly, a bit of satisfaction and relief. It feels like letting go of some self-imposed burden, that feeling of finally surrendering to some deep want, even if it comes with a lot of remorse, the relief of finally letting go does have a good feeling as well... and because of that, it’s another one of those barriers that, once broken, can’t be built up again.

What sort of kinks or fetishes do they have, or would they fill?

In all honesty the boy is, for the most part, a fairly gentle and vanilla lover. He doesn't really need anything special to get off -- he's easily excited and cums very very easily too. Just the prospect of getting to stick his dick in you in any capacity is enough to make him nearly burst at the thought honestly.

In general, as aforementioned, he's very very cautious and gentle to a point, but has a tendency to get actually kinda rough once he gets into it. The thing is, the roughness aspect is actually unintentional. He's one of those boys that is a little bit unaware of his own strength, doesn't process exactly how hard and fast he's going. He just gets lost in the feeling, kinda enters a dazed lusty haze where he's less aware of his actions. Doesn't realize he's literally got an iron grip pressing your head down on his dick or into the bed until you start flailing your hands because you can't breathe. Doesn't realize how hard he was gripping until he sees the bruises on your arms and hips later. That sort of deal -- poor thing is just unaware and doesn't have enough blood in his brain to think straight.

Biting

Surprisingly a really big one for him. (Remnants of a past life cycle with some lupine experiences perhaps?) In all seriousness, he could not explain exactly why if asked, it's one of those "I just like it" sort of things. It feels like yet another way to conjoin the two bodies, pulls you close. The marking aspect is also nice. Granted, he feels guilty afterwards, tries to help it heal. He has that same duality where moments ago he was this intimidating beast of a human being, rough and growly and jerking you like you were weightless, and now he's back to this bright eyed softie stuttering while he apologizes.

The guilt is mixed with a bit of enjoyment, though. It's constantly conflicting -- sure, part of him understands it's embarrassing and will help you cover up, but part of him doesn't want to, he wants people to see. Part of him looks at the marks and tells himself internally to never do that again, and part of him sees them and just wants to give you even more. It's a constant internal conflict, poor thing.

As far as a place, he likes the neck and shoulders best, simply because it's the most visible and it's the most passionate ones to create, when your bodies are tightly locked together. That being said, though, he also has a thing for biting at the insides of your thighs. It's another one of those I just like it sort of things.

Sometimes, when you're asleep, or pretending to be, you can feel him trace the bite marks with his fingers, softly running them over the circular pattern, just enough to barely ghost over your flesh.

Somnophilia

It puts him at ease. This one is particularly prevalent towards the beginning of your relationship, before you really know... how he is. He has this image of you as so pure and he couldn't bear the thought of defiling you with his horrible horrible thoughts. The guilt eats away at him for a while, but eventually he just can't hold back, but how could he ever do anything to you and risk consequence? So... the solution he comes up with is waiting until you sleep.

He tests the waters to see how heavy of a sleeper you are. Calls your name at increasing volume, lightly runs his fingers over your hair, pokes your face, whispers in your ear, runs his hands over your arms. Just to see what makes you rustle, if anything, so he knows the limits. If it turns out you're an incredibly light sleeper, well, unfortunately that means he's limited to just jerking off to your sleeping form, but that's ok. Just seeing your soft face and the cute way you breathe, the slightest way your lips open, that's enough for him.

If it turns out you're a heavier sleeper though, well, he tries to fight the temptation, but ends up going further. Slowly climbs onto your bed, careful to make the weight shift as gently as possible. Slowly pulls the covers back. Runs his hands up and down. It's a lot better when he can actually see your body as he jerks off, honestly. If he's feeling particularly risky, he might press your thighs together, feel how soft your skin is to his cock, how nice the squeezing pressure between them is.

He gets easily lost in a haze, though, so he inevitably ends up accidentally cumming on you and has to frantically find a way to lightly dab it up without waking you. He panics quite a bit, but that doesn't stop him from doing it again the very next night.

Overstimulation/Forced Orgasm

It just means he's doing a good job, really. Sure, you squeal and kick your feet back and forth and tug at his hair, but that's just because it feels good. Orgasms equate to love and feel good, right? Sure there's a little bit of pain when you go overboard, but then it just leads to feeling even better, right?

It's kind of an irrational compulsion rather than a logical goal, though. He just has an impulsive need to feel you quiver and spasm and clench, it basically gives him a chemical high hit and a wave of reassurance, makes him feel good in both the physical sense and the emotional sense. The first one sends him into this compulsive need to feel it over and over and over again, as many times as he can. It's another one of his internal conflict things -- sure, he knows it's hurting, but he just has to get one more. Just one more. But of course, every time turns into "just one more" when he's been saying that for half an hour now.

And, to be honest, it kind of gives him a pride boost to think he can make you cum against your will. How many people struggle to achieve that even when both parties are trying? It makes him feel good in an adequacy sort of way, he feels needed.

Size Kink/Distension

You know, there's a well-known thing among the male-lovers in this world when it comes to size. It's never the arrogant, loud guys, it's never the social butterflies, it's never the tall guys, it's never the beefy muscly guys. No, they're not the ones that end up somehow bestowed with absolute monster cocks. It's always the soft, lean boys who don't talk much. And they're always painfully unaware of it, too.

He's no exception. Not to the size or the complete lack of awareness. He hasn't spent a lot of time around guys his age too much, he's always been the one sent for some special task and ends up out in the wilderness by himself on journeys, or, in some lifetimes, accompanying you most of the time. He doesn't know what the average dick looks like, so he has no idea he's far above average.

This might sound like a plus, and of course in some ways it is, but also he doesn't think about the fact that the average body isn't properly equipped to handle it. You're supposed to just kinda put it in, that's how the sex works, right? Poor thing, especially if it's entirely consensual sex, he's just kinda ???? because why are you in pain? What is he doing wrong? You have to eventually explain it's literally just his body, not something he's doing.

That being said, naturally, he's a humble person, but hearing you say that does kinda... make him feel good inside. A little bit proud. He's not a person who takes a lot of pride in many things, so he likes having this one thing, and quickly notices you can visibly see it through the bulge it makes in your stomach. Especially if it's in a position where your back is pressed to his front, every little movement creates the bulge, so expect to get a lot of that.

He doesn't really bring it up much or talk about it when he's actually fucking you, it's more like, as with many things, something he's quietly aware of and silently enjoys a lot internally, even if it's not voiced.

How do they feel about pregnancy or babies? Do they want them?

Yes and no. It has to do with his overactive protection instinct. What if something happened or went wrong? He couldn't take that. He couldn't lose you.

At the same time, he likes kids, and he's very good with them, very patient. And over time, realizes that a kid would be the perfect tool of manipulation, and besides that, isn't it a beautiful thing, an ultimate manifestation of love?

So how to work around that... Ultimately, what he decides to do is have a kid... Just not by blood. There are plenty of orphans in Hyrule, wandering the streets and the wilderness, picking one up is easy. ...You wouldn't leave this poor child to suffer out there, to fend for themselves, would you? Nor would you leave him to take care of it by himself... Right?

What kind of (nsfw) punishments would they use?

Oh, it's not like he thinks of it that way. He would call it... a reminder. You put yourself in danger again? You tried to go back again? You were gone and for ten whole minutes he didn't know where you were? What could the solution to this issue be? The only thing his brain can really come up with is making sure you need him. Making sure you're content and satisfied here with him so you don't go running off.

Thus we return to the forced orgasm thing -- see, you do need him. It feels good, right? You say it hurts, and maybe it does a little, but ultimately you wouldn't be cumming if it wasn't good. No one else can ever do that. No one else knows you like this. No one else was made for you like this. You can't replace him. You need him. And he can keep going as many times as it takes until you see that, too. Even if he gets milked dry, he has a mouth and hands for a reason.

And by "until you see that," I mean until you say it. In his more... emotionally intense moments, he gets a bit insistent. He needs to hear you say it. Admit it to yourself. And to him. That you need him, that you depend on him, that you'll never leave again. And don't think your patience and tolerance can stand a chance of outlasting his -- it will keep going until you say it.

What body parts of their darling do they like the most?

He's one of those wholesome type of boys who goes with something sweet. He says maybe your hair, your face, your skin, your eyes. It's all so comforting. So familiar. Of course, not to say that he doesn't like your less wholesome mentionable parts, but he wants to be chivalric about such a question, and feels answering that way would be too disrespectful.

In his unspoken thoughts, though, he likes the hips. It's a part of you he can grab onto and hold you close with. He puts his hands there a lot and holds tight, like he feels like at any moment you could slip out of his grasp. And, I mean, it's nice to look at, can't forget that.

[redrobin-detective]

Ok, I’ve tried and tried and tried to write this fic because I see it so clearly in my mind but it’s just not going no matter what I do. But I don’t want the idea to die with me. The closest this came to being written was exile which was an attempt to bleed out some of the energy of this au.

Anyway, so it starts off vaguely similar to canon only more aggressive. There had been underlying tension between ghosts and humans for a while, the dead jealous/angry at the living for disrespecting them. The successful creation of the Fenton ghost portal (and another halfa) was considered an act of war and so the ghosts responded in kind. So basically all of S1 occurs fairly close to canon except ghost attacks are more violent and have increasingly more consequences as time passes. Also the attacks aren’t just in Amity Park with ghosts becoming a worldwide issue but Amity is a focal point. Regular people know the ghosts hate them though they don’t know why. Phantom is very much a controversial figure as he is a ghost but also clearly is fighting off the more violent ghosts. 

One day, not long after the events of Control Freaks, Amity Park wakes up to find three of their own are gone. Danny Fenton, Sam Manson and Tucker Foley are nowhere to be found. There’s a massive manhunt, the parents go on TV and beg for information but they cannot be found. Curiously enough, town hero Phantom was also missing. There’s some evidence they left of their own volition so the Mansons and Foleys eventually relent that the kids fled on their own. The Fentons are 100% certain the kids were stolen/killed by ghosts as a statement. And the fact that Phantom went missing around the same time means he was the one who killed them. Jazz knows Danny was Phantom but had no idea what was going on and knew her parents wouldn’t listen she just, kept quiet and privately tried to piece together what happened. 

Three years pass and finally it looks like the Ecto War is coming to a close. Young, naive ghosts attempted to raise Pariah Dark in a bid to win. It went disastrously but Phantom (who was periodically spotted around the world, deep in the worst battles of the war) and group of loyal allies subdued the king. By the law of ghosts, Phantom was named heir apparent and he declared that the fighting would stop. Humans and ghosts would have to negotiate and co-exist in peace. But he’s not king yet, no he needs to be crowned at the place where it began, Amity Park’s Fenton portal (”where it all began” has a double meaning of the beginning of the war but also symbolically where Phantom began as Kings assume the crown where their living life ended to show their abandonment of their first life and the commitment to their second). Amity is NOT happy to hear that their former hero is coming home.

Amity has been through the wringer, ghost attacks got pretty bad. The Fenton’s throw themselves into their work to cancel out the grief, they create a group of ghost hunters nicknamed the Reds (for their red blood, ghosts are nicknamed Greens) to control the threat. Valerie heads the young adult division and is considered one of the best, she drops out of school to devote herself to it full time. Oh also her dad is now the Mayor as most have died or didn’t want the job. There are still people who like Phantom and see him as a hero (a lot of Casper Kids) but it’s generally an unpopular opinion in town. Maddie and Jack are ready to obliterate the ghost that took their son’s life the moment he’s within city limits. It’s a powder keg ready to blow. It all comes to a head when Phantom and his entourage arrive.

First off, Phantom looks very different, much less human looking than when he left. He’s clearly aged like a normal teen but his eyes look much, much older.  His skin is dead white with a blue tinge to it from his ice core and his aura is super cold. His hair is longer and is very misty that kind of swirls around him and his has fangs and claws. When he’s deep in battle or his obsession, his sclera turn black and he looks scary af. His entourage is ghosts who have sworn loyalty to him, who he picked up along the way after battling beside them for 3 years. Fright Knight, Skulker and Frostbite are recognizable allies. They are not happy that their future King is back in Amity (secretly fearing they’ll lose him once more to his human life). J&M have a shot and are going for the kill when they see something that shocks them; Sam and Tucker are in Phantom’s entourage.

There had been whispers that Phantom interacted with humans, that humans were in his inner circle but this is something else together. And so are Sam and Tucker. Sam is Phantom’s General, she is talented and collected and half feral. She used to be a pacifist but the trials of war and understanding that peace sometimes needs to be fought for made her compromise. She’s covered in scars and an extremely talented fighter. She’s missing her right hand up to her forearm, she can form a ‘phantom limb’ (basically borrowing ectoplasm from her future ghost) to do some things with some powers. Tucker is the support, he uses human and ghost tech to organize, weaponize and generally keep things running. He’s covered in homemade tech (shields and weapons and computers) and he rarely removes. Both he and Sam have kinda forgotten how to interact with and really BE human after so long among the dead. They had attempted to conceal themselves but they had forgotten how strong parental love and recognition is. J&M want to know about Danny, the teens don’t know how to respond but assure them he’s alive. Phantom can’t bring himself to look at them.

This is where I start to lose track of things but there will be parallels of Valerie/Maddie vs Sam as female warriors on opposite sides who are willing to go behind, possibly compromising the things important to them, for victory. Tucker will be contrasted against Jack/Jazz as the one making weapons but also generally keeping the human parts of the team mentally/physically afloat. *Severe* PTSD for all three of them. They’re also unnaturally codependent on each other, get super anxious when one of the trio is out of sight and sleep in a big cuddle pile. They will fucking Kill You if you look at one of them wrong. Vlad will be involved, he had been jailed for war crimes but convinced Walker to stage a coup to overthrow Danny and take the crown before he’s actually declared King and is too powerful. Vlad is more unhinged here, more ghost than human (a hint on what could happen to Danny if he’s not careful). He is eventually defeated but he sacrifices his life for ghost power which, in the end, is what makes him able to be beaten.

 There’s lots of ideas on what it means to be live or dead and where the divide really is, is it a heartbeat or it is how you choose to use your existence. On how duty shouldn’t mean you need to give up everything. Because Jack and Maddie believe that Phantom killed their son and, in a way, they’re right. Before they left, the ghost war had gotten so bad and the rumors of Dark being resurrected were going around. Amity attacks were at an all time high, people in their school were being killed just because Danny went there. He realized he had to choose between Fenton or Phantom and he chose to protect the world. He abandoned his human identity and went off to fight in war. Tried to convince Sam and Tucker to stay but they followed him through hell and back. Because Danny spends so much time as Phantom, Fenton is severely neglected. His long hair is cool and floaty as Phantom but is unkempt and stringy, hanging in his face as Fenton. He’s wan and underweight and looks like a walking corpse. He knows his human half will give out soon if he doesn’t give it more attention but he just can’t there’s too much to do, too many people to save.

It would end with Danny being outed to the town, not the world, just the town. Jack and Maddie need to recon with the fact that their boy DID leave of his own choice but only because their failure to protect him (from both the portal and ghosts) made him feel he had to take all this responsibility on his shoulders. Danny also has to recognize that he (and Sam/Tuck) can’t do all this on their own and they can trust and rely on the people around him. Phantom is crowned King but he decides Amity will be his base. The trio eat more, sleep some, catches up on school all the while continuing their duties as King and court. The ghosts also see that Phantom’s humanity isn’t a weakness but a strength and will bring peace to the Earth/Zone so they also take some of the burdens off his shoulder. 

Basically I load up heavily with angst at the beginning and end with all the love and comfort imaginable. I just can’t fucking figure out the middle and my motivation will not let me write this shit out. But I can’t let this AU die bc it fucking keeps me up at night.

[ramshackledtrickster]

ok I just had a thought, what if Moreau met your Magnus Archives AU Leonardo?

HOLY SHIT??

I’m goin thru my mental roledex of info rn on Moreau bc I haven’t talked about him in a while but thank you so much on your very indulgent ask

Long text under the cut! Content warning for some body horror mention, experimentation, grave robbing, etc. Unhealthy horror elements.

Moreau in general is more. Far gone than Leonardo I think (he doesn’t even remember who he was in his past life, meanwhile Leonardo I imagine likes to keep reminders of something normal he could one day return to but knows he can’t)

I think Moreau would be much more antisocial though

Bar himself in wherever he’s hiding, shamefully scuttle away if he’s seen, etc. But maybe he’d be intrigued since there’s another person who was in a mildly similar circumstance? Or be reminded of Ethan winters and grow more scornful bc. Y know. Fungus. But he doesn’t want to try his chances— I think he’d be too self conscious or shamed to engage (if he’s still associating his presence with Ethan Winters, he’d be even more embarrassed and beat himself up over remembering how he failed another Miranda that other time). Hell, maybe he’d be a little jealous, since at least Leonardo could hide most of his transformation and walk around that way, but his own fish stuff is pretty hard to hide. Also, in case there’s a little certain guardian angel/devil floating around keeping Leo from harm’s way, I think he’d prefer to keep to himself.

Leonardo probably prefers to be on his own in this and not engage. He’s not a fighter, and the changes he’s gone through don’t give him any defensive skills really. There’s no cool powers, he’s just full of fungus and he’s gotta mostly concern himself with trying to keep moving. Knowing Moreau’s potential to fight back when he’s cornered and turn into a giant wailing amphibian monster that spews acid, he knows when to pick his battles— preferably none though. Bravery is not his strong suit, after all. He wouldn’t lie though, if he could, he would absolutely love to learn more about Moreau and what makes him tick biologically. Maybe he’d gain an interest in cadous, since they kinda fall under his fungus/slime mold area of expertise. He would probably love to at least have one in a jar.

So I think they’d both try to keep their distance. Maybe, just maybe, though, if they get over that initial barrier they’d somewhat find some common ground. Eat some cheese, watch old movies, exchange a few drinks and books (drinks wise Leo would be particular though— he’s still got a kinda spoiled palate when it comes to wine).

They’d kinda bond over biology and their knowledge of it, but Leonardo would probably be both morbidly curious and downright disgusted (weird conflicting feelings here) finding out Moreau does his experiments on live subjects. Leonardo is much more comfortable with exploring death and the cycle that ensues in this au, so anything working with “live” kinda icks him, and he still has that sense of sympathy for living people and things that Moreau has become much more desensitized to and disregards at this point.

so he probably keeps his distance knowing this and probably holds himself to a higher standard (but he needs a reminder he isn’t a saint either. He started down this path of serving the Corruption with a certain grave robbing for the sake of knowledge habit after all.)

Long story short: there’s a strong boundary between them. There’s some mutual curiosity and respect for science, and maybe they would hit it off better while they were both still human. But for now, it’s shaky and there’s a strong divide between them still despite parallels.

Thank you for this ask!