#i like horse racing tbh like my friends and i line up and say GO and race

[i-did]

Do you know when the racism and ableism accusations against Nora started? Because back when I was active in 2016/2017 and don't think they were a thing, or were very low-key. Was it something she said or are people just basing it off the things she wrote in the books?

From what I remember, the first time I heard the blanket statement of “Nora is racist/fetishizes gay men” blanket statement was early fall 2019 (which is so ironic for the fandom to say on so many levels lmao). There wasn’t a catalyst or anything, just she went offline 2016 and no new content was coming out and the aftg fandom is such an echo chamber that… an accidental smear campaign happened.

 Before then, I would see occasional “Nora used ableist slur” which… is funny (not that ableism isn’t serious) to me people care more about that than Seth saying the f-slur. IMO this is because with Seth, it clearly shows the character thinking it and not the author who is writing about what will be an end game mlm relationship. 

But anyways! Long story short, it's the fact that she’s an ace/aro woman who wrote a mlm book, and based off of the events in canon. There is no “Nora called me/someone else a slur” it’s “Nora wrote a book where slur(s) are used” and “the Moriyama’s are Japanese.”

Below I put my own opinion on these claims and go into more detail:

CW for discussions of: racism, ableism, mlm fetishization

Fetishization: (and mentions of sexism at the end)

To one question in the EC about her inspo for aftg she jokingly responded how she wanted to write about gay athletes. On other parts of your blog you could see she was a hockey fan and an overall sports fan (anime or otherwise) but I've seen this statement taken out of context and framed as “she's one of those BOYXBOY” shippers. Considering how… well-developed both Andrew and Neil’s relationship is, and it takes them until like the 3rd book and there is a whole complex ass plot going on around, you can see how that's just. Not really true. And considering the fandom is like… 85% women (queer women but still women) and I've gotten into a discussion with someone who is a woman and called Nora a fetishizer and was ignoring my opinions as a mlm, and I really just wanted to say “well what does that make you?” it's a very ironic high horse. She didn’t write 3 all 3 books to put Neil in lingerie pwp or crop-top fem-fatal fashion show, fandom did. 

Also, I talked to an ace/aro friend about this, and she talked to me about how AFTG spoke to her very much so as an ace/aro story. Neil is demisexual, Nora didn’t know of the word at the time of reading it, but she did get an anon asking if Neil was demi after, and she said “had to look it up, and yep, but he doesn't really think about it” (paraphrased). Obviously it would have been cool if andreil were canonly written as wlw by Nora instead, (which would have increased the amount of wlw rep and demi rep) but tbh I don’t think tumblr would have cared about it nearly as much and everyone would just call Neil a cold bitch–like people do with Nora’s other published book with a main character who's a woman. Plus they're her OC’s, not mine. 

The fact is that 50% of all LGBT+ rep in literature is mlm, mostly white mlm, and not written by mlm. I’m not going to hold her to a higher standard than everyone else, she already broke a shit ton of barriers in topics she discusses that otherwise get ignored. I’m grateful to these books for existing even if it's a mlm story written by a woman. I still will prioritize reading mlm written by mlm–and vice versa with wlw– in the way I prioritize reading stories about POC written by POC. But credit where credit is due, this is a very good story, and a very good demi story. 

Ableism:

To me, AFTG is a story about ableism and how we perceive some trauma survivors more worthy than others. Neil and the foxes using ableist language shows how people actually talk. Neil thinks shitty things about Andrew, like the others do too, and thinks he's “psycho”. The story ultimately deconstructs this idea and these perceptions of people. Wymack, someone who says the r-slur (which is still not known by the general population as a slur even in 2021 much less the early 2000s when the book was beginning to be written and what the timeline is based off of) is a character who understands Andrew better than most of the others do, and gives him the most sympathy and understanding despite using words like the m-slur and r-slur. Using these words isn't good, but it is how people talk, and this character talks. Wymack is a playful “name caller” especially when he’s mad, the foxes think Andrew is “crazy” and incapable of humanity and love because of it. They call his meds “antipsychotics” as an assumption and insult in a derogatory way, when really antipsychotics are a very helpful drug for some people who need them. Even Neil thinks these things about Andrew until he learns to care about him. All the foxes are hypocritical to am extent, as people in real life tend to be. Nora herself doesn’t use these or tweet them or something, her characters do to show aspects of their personality and opinions and how they change over time.

Racism:

As for the racism, I've seen people talk about how racial minorities being antagonists is inherently bad, which I think lacks nuance but overall isn't a harmful statement or belief. However, Nora herself said she wrote in the yakuza instead of another gang or mob because she was inspired for AFTG by sports anime, (which often queer-bait for a variety of reasons). I haven’t seen a textual analysis acknowledging the racist undertones surrounding the Moriyama’s as the few characters of color who are also major antagonists, but instead just “Nora is racist”. Wymack having shitty flame tribal tattoo’s is just… a huge 90’s thing and a part of his character design. Her having a character with bad taste in tattoo trends doesn’t mean she's racist. There is the whole how Nicky is handled thing, but that's a whole thing on it’s own. The fandom… really will write Nicky being all “ai ai muy spicy, jaja imma hit on my white–not annoying like me–boyfriend in Spanish. With my booty hole out and open for him ofc.” and as a Mexican mlm I’m like … damn alright. 

I think there is merit to the fact that she writes white as the default* and unless otherwise stated a POC a character was written with the intent to be white is another valid criticism, as well as the fact that the cast is largely white, but everything Nora is accused of I've seen the fandom do worse. That goes to the debate of, is actively writing stereotypes for POC more harmful than no representation at all? And personally I prefer the lack of established race line that lets me ignore Nora’s canon intent of characters to be white and come up with my own HC’s over the fandoms depictions of “zen monk Renee with dark past” “black best friend Matt who got over drugs but is a puppy dog” “ex stripper black Dan who dates Matt” vague tokenism. I HC many of the upperclassmen as POC and do my best to actively give thought behind it and have their own arcs that also avoids the fandom colorism spectrum of “darkest characters we HC go to the back and fandom favorites are in the front and are the lightest.” 

*I however won't criticize her harsher or more than… everyone else who still largely does this in fanfiction regarding AFTG as well as literature in general. This isn't a Nora thing, it's a societal thing, and considering the books came out in like 2014 I'm not gonna hold her to a higher standard than the rest of the world. She's just someone who wrote her personal OC’s and self-published expecting no following. I don’t know her race and I’m not gonna hold her to a higher standard than everyone else just because. 

The criticisms I've seen have always been… ironic IMO, and clearly I have a lot of thoughts on it. I think most people say those things about Nora because they heard them, and it's the woke thing to say and do and don’t critically analyze their actions or anything, but just accept them. 

[rxmanticdevil]

One Shot #1 - Magicians for Sport, Trelawny’s side

Characters: Josiah Trelawny, Arthur Morgan, Charles Smith Spoilers: Through Ch. 3 Words: ~3142 Trigger warnings: Kidnapping, violence, choking Explanation for this abomination: The story mission “Magicians for Sport” from the perspective of what happened to Trelawny. Josiah is minding his own business, bounty hunters decide they want a chat. Things get better from there (just kidding, they don’t get better). This has most likely been written before but tbh I didn’t look because I wanted to write it and I’ve just done research for my degree and I don’t want to research anymore.))

Trelawny was hardly registering his actions as he placed the two small slices of bread on a plate, a small meal for the early morning. His mind was distracted, his thoughts with the gang he had grown so fond of. Those bounty hunters were quite determined to get a hold of Dutch. And Arthur. The whole gang was in danger, which wasn’t really out of the norm. But this time it felt different, those bounty hunters seemed determined in a way that put Josiah’s hair on end.

The sound of hooves on dirt caught his already heightened attention, and he glanced out his window to see familiar figures coming up the path to the small collection of caravans full of the unsavory people he had found to blend into.

Those were the bounty hunters he had spoken to by the state line. Without wasting any time he pulled the curtains closed, locking the doors as he could. His caravan only had two rectangular rooms, but two doors – two areas of vulnerability.

He held his breath, they were getting closer, there were voices: We’re looking for a guy.

Another voice. The fence who operated out of the next caravan over. He pressed his ear against his front door, straining to hear. But he couldn’t make out what was being said, there was no loyalty here and he knew what the bounty hunters wanted. He was familiar enough with people like them – he knew what they’d do to get it.

The seconds ticked by but felt like hours until he heard the sound of horses trotting away. He took a deep breath, nearly collapsing to his knees from relief.

“Thank God….” – and the fence too. It seemed he would be escaping this scenario unharmed.

He went back to his plate of food but was once more unable to focus on it, his hands trembling too violently to be useful whenever he attempted to spread the raspberry jam over the bread. His mind raced. The bounty hunters were here, in Rhodes. While Josiah didn’t know where Dutch and the others were holed up now, he did know they would be coming back this way. It was imperative that he tracked them down, any of the gang down, at least to deliver the message –stay low, for God’s sake your lives are at stake. Stay. Alert.

Advice he should have heeded himself, it seemed.

The back door was kicked open with an unparalleled violent force at the same time as the front door. The sudden actions causing Josiah’s heart to jump, near pounding out of his chest, and his body escaped to the farthest point from the most immediate intruder at his front doorway. Unfortunately, that was the edge of his bed and it was hardly any more distance at all.

“Good morning, sir,” the bounty hunter coming from the front stood in his doorway, his body filling up the door frame as he held a gun in his hand, “We just got a few questions for you, we won’t be long.”

It was one of the first times in a long time that Trelawny felt genuine fear. Trapped, his revolver by the door where the man stood– there was no way he could get it without being grabbed – or shot. He could only wait for what would happen next. A fact that the man before him seemed to savor, drinking in Trelawny’s paled face and white knuckles clinging to the edge of his bed.

The man’s face melted into a cruel grin as he neared, “You remember me, right? We spoke at the state line?” he waited a moment, taunting Josiah to respond. “You remember we were talking – about Dutch Van der Linde? My colleagues and I seem to think you left out some details.”

“You must have me confused with someone else. I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You don’t, huh?” a fist went to the framed photograph on his wall, shattering the glass as it fell to the ground. The sharp action, the threat, caused Trelawny to jump. If these men didn’t kill him soon his heart would surely do him in.

“I told you, I just got here from Oregon-” It wasn’t acting this time, how his voice pitched up, squeaking out the story he had threaded during their earlier encounter.

A hand grabbed his neck and threw him onto the ground, into the glass. His attacker wasted no time looming over him, leaning down to grab him once more by the throat, pulling Josiah up close to his face.

“Try again.”

“I don’t know anything-”

The fist came at him once. And then twice. He was seeing stars, trying to regain any sense of equilibrium before he was picked up and thrown once more, like a ragdoll, from one side of his caravan to the other. His back hit his counter, knocking the shelves down.

“I said try again.”

Trelawny felt blood coming from his wounds, and an anger building inside him. Fear dissipating for a moment – how dare these men come into his home and cause such a mess. His hand balled into a fist, and he took the moment to throw a punch.

“And I said I don’t know anything, now leave.” He swung his fist, shocking the attacker just long enough to clip the man’s cheek. But before he could follow up, he felt two arms grab him tight from behind. The other bounty hunter. But Trelawny was determined: They had made it clear that he wasn’t getting out of this unscathed whether he cooperated or not.

He brought his elbow up and swung it back in a short, sharp motion- aiming to do as much damage as possible to the gut before he used his elbow and upper arm as the pendulum to swing his fist down into a more sensitive area. The bounty hunter yelped, releasing him.

A glint in the light caught his eye, his cane! A weapon he could get! He made a move for it, pulling it up and swinging down hard with the intent to end this quickly against the man who was doubled over in pain.

Then, there was nothing.

_______

“Then the idiot went after Davey and I grabbed one of the vases and smashed it over his head,” the bounty hunter lit his cigarette and brought it to his lips, “Dropped like a rock.”

“But he didn’t say anything?”

“Not a damn thing,” the man grumbled.

Well, that all certainly explained his splitting headache. He felt the dirt on his cheek, from his face having been in it for who knew how long. But the rest of his body didn’t seem to be responding. Not wanting to alert his new… friends that he was awake, but needing to check his situation, he slowly tried to move his limbs. All he found though was his wrists bound tight together as well as his ankles. Oh, if there was ever a time he wished for the gang to show up from one of their misadventures it would be now.

“Hey, George,” a third bounty hunter spoke to the first, “Look, your friend.”

And then all eyes were on him, and he knew he couldn’t play dead any longer. The bounty hunters eyeing him from their lean-to as he struggled in vain on the ground. ‘George’ gave him a grin, a sickening grin that told Trelawny nothing good was in his future. However futile struggling was, that look made Trelawny only try to free himself faster. It was no use of course, the man stepped over him, straddling him as he pulled his head up off the ground by the throat.

“Good morning, partner,” he said, cruelty in every line on the man’s face.

“I’d brush my teeth if I were you, good sir. You might scare children like that-”

A hand came sharp across his face, “Shut up, fool. You’re in no place to talk to anyone like that.” His throat was gripped even tighter, and Josiah’s body began to panic for air. He could barely register as the man above him spoke.

“Where. Are. They? Where. Is. Dutch?”

“I don’t know any Dutch fellows.” If he wasn’t going to tell them before he certainly wasn’t going to now after they had been so rude and rough.

That wasn’t what he wanted to hear, “Dammit! I know you know!” The hand squeezed his throat tighter, and he felt himself gasping – fighting for air.

“Don’t kill him, George, or we’ll never get our answer. He just needs some more persuasion. Or maybe to be kept with us a little longer. If they find out we have him, they might send someone to get him back.”

“Think he’s worth somethin’ as bait?”

The hand relaxed on his throat and he gasped for air. Trelawny was less than soothed by that idea no matter that it bought him a few more minutes (hours? Days?) of life. He despised the thought of being bait for the Van der Linde gang. Sure, they exchanged favors of bailing each other out of sticky situations, but surely this would cross a line.

“So I can’t kill him but I can….”

Trelawny realized in that moment that he had let himself get distracted by thought, George had returned to his side. His eyes read nothing less than sadistic desire.

Whack! “Ahhh!” His legs dulled with the ache of great pain.

Whack! Pain shot through his side.

Whack! His shoulder screamed.

Each hit pulled a gasp from his lips. He caught a glimpse of the weapon – his cane. It came down on him again, and again.

“Hey, George! What’d we say? You’re going to kill him!”

“Fine by me!”

And then he saw the shine from the metal head of the cane as the shaft was swung down on him. He was out again.

_____

This time when he gained consciousness, he was sitting up. His arms tied still, his legs remained bound, and his vision blurred.

“There he is, good morning sunshine,” it was that George fellow again. Trelawny realized he didn’t have much voice left at all. His body weak, pain aching through every bone and every joint.

It was a time he could genuinely say he wished they would just kill him instead of continuing this treatment.

“Look, friend,” Davey knelt next to him, “We can let you go. Just tell us where they are. We can even give you some of the money. You know how much those guys are worth. You’d never have to work a day in your life again.”

Give him some of the money? Trelawny knew Dutch’s bounty was high. That would be no small sum but- no, how could he even entertain the idea? He might not have many morals, but he certainly had friends.

“I don’t… I don’t know… who you- you’re talking about-”

“BULLSHIT,” George was back in the scene. He kicked over Trelawny’s chair and the man fell to the hard, filthy cabin floor with a hard thud. Before he could gather his bearings once more a sharp foot made contact with his gut. The foot pulled back to go at him again.

“Whoa, George! Relax. We’ll make him talk yet. C’mon, I got an idea,” and Davey gave George a glance. A knowing glance. One that Trelawny was not happy to see them exchanging. He felt himself being yanked up by his arms, each touch hitting a point of injury sending shockwaves through his body and eliciting a cry from his lips. “Let’s get you out of here, come on boy.”

“The thing is,” George spoke as they began to pull the man out of the small cabin and down the steps, “after that shack, this will be remembered like a good time.”

“Put the man down, gentleman.” And then there was the click of two guns.

Trelawny could barely focus long enough to feel the relief wash over him in a tidal wave. That voice. Oh, that dear voice. That sweet voice. George left his side, and then Davey dropped him to the ground. It was another hard fall, but he was so filled with that joyous relief that he barely registered the pain. He wasn’t even sure if the tears in his eyes were from pain or relief – most likely both.

Feet entered his field of vision, a knife too – but any fear was dissipated when he realized it was none other than Charles. Another of Dutch’s loyal knights.

“That the lot of them?”

“I… I think so.” His hands were freed in an instant. His wrists red from chafing as he pushed himself up to a sitting position.

“So, you’re alive.” Arthur knelt by him with another knife, getting to work on the binds on his ankles.

“Allegedly.”

“Well, don’t worry. They won’t be for much longer.” Those words sparked that desire for revenge in Trelawny’s heart. Those bastards who broke into his home, kidnapped him, tortured him, and threatened his friends. He had no strength left but he had enough anger to help himself out of his own leg binding.

“Go get them, Arthur. I can handle this.”

Arthur met his eyes, and Trelawny took the second to drink in that familiar, gentle face. The man who was ruthless when necessary, but who had always been a kind – if a little sad – soul to Trelawny. Arthur seemed to be checking with Trelawny, to make sure he would sincerely be alright should he go off to stop the bounty hunters. In response, Trelawny waved his hand – urging Arthur onward. Not just for that desire of revenge either, should those bounty hunters escape they would escape with far too much information. They had to be dealt with accordingly.

In the next moment, Arthur had taken off to the fields. Gunshots rang out. Arthur and Charles will both be fine, he kept telling himself as he struggled to free his ankles. It would be easier if his hands weren’t having such trouble gripping things. Each movement made his body cry in pain, but at least… at least he was safe.

The rope around his ankles became slack after another moment of finicking. The gunshots were still echoing and Trelawny could only hope his friends were not on the receiving end.

Well, he couldn’t just wait here on the ground. In the dirt. His clothes were already filthy, his white shirt had blood stains on it, his beautiful vest simply torn to shreds. Lord only knew what his face looked like. His hair must be an utter mess. He would simply die of embarrassment should they return to him whining on the ground.

He tried to put a hand on the ground to push himself up to his feet, but his elbow buckled under his weight. Pain shot through the arm. His legs told him too we’re not standing. There was a chair on the patio of the small cabin, if he could just make it there he could take a seat like somewhat of a refined gentleman as opposed to a dirt dweller like he was now.

It took him longer than he’d like, and he had more crawled over the dirt than walked, but he found himself able to climb into the chair, letting himself finally take in a moment of peace despite the pain. Arthur is here. Charles is here. And because he had kept his mouth shut this time, he could look them in the face with dignity.

“Mr. Trelawny, where are you?”

He nearly felt the tears threaten again. That voice brought with it so much relief, he wasn’t sure he could ever explain to Arthur just how much it meant to him. Especially in that moment. And that was for no lack of intelligence on the other man’s part, Trelawny knew the man was quite prolific. Dutch and Hosea would have it no other way. “Over here, dear boy!”

“Put your feet up, why don’t you?” Arthur came into view on the hill, the words harsh and teasing but nothing that Trelawny would imagine taking offense to. And as Arthur approached, he could see his face soften and he could hear that kindness in his voice, “You okay?”

“Never finer.” Yes, this outlaw had probably just killed a small handful of other men. However, he had done it out of desire to protect his friends. And Trelawny was just glad that he was in that category. Trelawny tried to stand up, but pain brought him back into his chair.

“So, who was they?” The important question. Josiah couldn’t blame him for wanting to cut right to the chase. The man’s hand was gentle on his back, the other at his arm in quiet support.

“They were bounty hunters, ah, attached to Cole Stoudemire,” that was what they had told him at that camp long ago.

“Okay.”

“They weren’t looking for me, per se.”

“No…” Arthur quietly confirmed the unsaid part. They wanted you, Arthur. They wanted Dutch. “What you tell ‘em?”

Another important question. And one Josiah was glad he could answer with pride, “Not much. I… told them I was an intellectual come down here from Oregon…” He let Arthur steer him towards the horse, accepting his and Charles’ help to mount. He tried to grip the saddle, tried to pull himself up, but he knew he was fooling none of them: he had no energy, no strength left. “…looking for a job at the university. Course, they didn’t believe me. Seems you stirred up quite a hornet’s nest in Blackwater.”

“So I keep hearing.” Arthur backed slowly away from the horse, as though making sure that Trelawny could remain upright.

Josiah met his eyes once more, a little embarrassed by his own need to request yet even more from the gang. But it was how things had to be. “It might be best if I stay with you gentlemen for a while. Can’t go back to that caravan now.”

Not even a moment to think about it passed before Arthur nodded in agreement.

“Alright, Charles, you take Trelawny back to camp. I’ll catch up with you.”

“Okay.” And Charles moved his horse on, Trelawny following close behind. Their previous rides together had been full of Josiah’s stories, thoughts, and ideas. But this ride was different, it was quiet. Trelawny was lost in thought, energy spent with none to spare on a façade. And Charles’ silence was reassuring in its own right.

The bounty hunters had been dealt with. Josiah had been rescued. There would be time to worry about everything else, time to tell Dutch everything he had learned. Time to pay back the gang for saving his life. For now though, the hooves of the horses and the whistling of birds the only sound for miles, there was just time enough for peace.

[itsthenovelteafactor]

Superhero Gothic

Thanks to everyone who responded to my previous post (special shoutout to @jeyfeather1234 💛 ) about superheroes and gothic media! I know it’s been, like, a month, but here we go.

Here’s a bit of a look into some common gothic themes, and how they apply to Doom Patrol, The Boys, Watchmen (2019), and The Umbrella Academy. This one’s a bit long, not gonna lie, but I hope you enjoy! 

Part I: Let’s Talk About Gothic Media

There is not actually an all-encompassing definition for gothic media, or even a universally agreed-upon one. You’re probably familiar with some well-known gothic works (think Dracula, Frankenstein, Edgar Allen Poe, Stephen King) but there is a lot of debate on what exactly makes them gothic. 

There are some common themes in gothic works, though: families/characters under the control of a tyrannical paterfamilias, the crumbling of the established order/estate, long-buried secrets that have consequences in the present, and supernatural events that are stand-ins for/reflective of the emotional state/past actions of the characters. 

(Note: these aren’t all the themes of gothic works or even most of them, but for purposes here, I’d like to limit this analysis to them. I’d love to talk about other themes/ideas, though, if anyone has them. 😊)

So… superheroes (quick overview in case you haven’t watched any of them… spoiler warnings for the rest of this discussion)

Doom Patrol:

Five misfit superhumans attempt to rescue their mentor figure when he is kidnapped by an old enemy.

They are very, very bad at it.

Also features a singing horse head, a sentient nonbinary teleporting street (who is by far the best character) and the narrator is the fourth-wall breaking series villain. 

Beautifully weird but will also emotionally devastate you. Criminally underrated, tbh.

Watchmen (2019):

Story takes place after the canon of the graphic novel which is too much to summarize.

Alternate history (that should really feel more fictitious than it does) where white supremacist organization the Seventh Cavalry, masked police officers, and former superheroes in hiding all collide in Tulsa Oklahoma

Swept the Emmys this year and ABSOLUTELY DESERVED TO

The Umbrella Academy:

Washed up former child superheroes are forced to reunite when their father dies under mysterious circumstances 

Time travel, dysfunctional siblings, and a killer soundtrack

Basically a family drama with the superhero story as secondary (complimentary)

Probably the most obviously gothic of all of these it is aesthetic AF 

The Boys: 

Superheroes exist but they are corporate sellouts under the control of evil company Not-Amazon (AKA Vought)

Regular human protagonists try to hold them accountable for their actions with varying (read: usually minimal) success

Yes, it’s the one from those weird ads earlier this year

Billy Joel!! 

Part II: Niles Caulder, Ozymandias, and Other Terrible Father Figures

The Tyrannical Paterfamilias: 

Does not always mean a father figure explicitly, often relating to the notion of a patriarchal tradition, or family inheritance that plays a role in controlling the main characters. 

Sometimes, it is a father figure. 

Sometimes, it is a representative of patriarchal tradition/male head of pseudo-family unit.

So, uh, role call: 

Reginald Hargreeves (even in death) holds power over his children, and has shaped all of them into the adults they have become, and that drives the majority of the conflict. Each of the major character individually grapples with the after-effects of his abuse. Luther feels the need to be the leader and protect everyone and alienates his allies as a consequence. Diego constantly asserts himself as a hero (often to dangerous extremes) because it is the only way he was ever valued. Allison has to teach herself boundaries and responsible use of her powers after he encouraged her to abuse them for years. Klaus turns to drugs to cope with his childhood trauma. Five disobeyed his father with disastrous consequences and is constantly fighting to not become him. Vanya spent her entire childhood in the background, and never learned to assert herself in a healthy way. Thanks, Reggie.

Homelander says that The Seven are like a family. While whether or not this is accurate (it isn’t) is up for debate, he does occupy the tyrannical paterfamilias roles incredibly well. Homelander controls every member of the Seven, threatening them and their loved ones whenever they step out of line (read: do not do exactly what he wants in the exact way he wants them to do it.) He is also very closely tied with conservative/patriarchal rhetoric in-universe and at one point dates a literal Nazi. 

William Butcher less evil than most of the other characters on this list but the bar is also like, on the ground. Butcher tries to control the Boys in a similar way (Butcher and Homelander are character foils, okay? it’s actually pretty neat). He’s perfectly willing to sacrifice them in pursuit of his own goals, disregards their points of view and the well-being of their loved ones, and tries to cut loose anyone who disagrees with his methods (recall when Hughie tried to rescue his friends at the end of s1 and Butcher… punched him in the face? Yeah, that.) The difference is that the Boys can push back against his without being, you know, brutally murdered. (And also the Butcher isn’t a literal monster; I’m not anti-Butcher, okay? He’s an interesting character and the fact that he seems constantly on the verge of becoming that which he hates most is part of what makes him interesting.)

Guess what, folks? It’s hating Niles Caulder hours. He engineered accidents to turn the main characters into his test subjects, and then kept them conveniently hidden away in his large manor. Stole their autonomy and independence but paints himself as a benevolent father figure. And that’s not even including what he does to his actual daughter, Dorothy. He’s terrified of her growing up (read: becoming a young woman) and so he locks her away for almost 100 years and, when she is freed, yells at her constantly and makes her terrified of showing any signs of maturation (even though she’s 111 and clearly tired of being written off as a child).

The relationship between Ozymandias and his daughter, Lady Trieu, is integral to the final act of Watchmen. Heralded as the “smartest man in the world,” Ozymandias refused to acknowledge his daughter as his until he needed something from her. While Lady Trieu is more self-sufficient and independent than some of the applications of this trope, she goes to great lengths to prove herself, first to him, and then to herself when he rejects her.

Part III: Been a Long Time Gone (Constantinople) 

Gothic fiction is often associated with change, and particularly, the collapse of established systems of power. For example, many works like The House of the Seven Gables and The Fall of the House of Usher take place in old, crumbling manor houses. There is a reason for this! These kinds of estates are remnants of a past that is irreversibly gone, and their continued presence in decrypt forms serves as a reminder. 

Each of the four series takes place at a moment, either on a wide scale or on a personal scale (or both!), in which an established order is being questioned, and the constant reminders of that failed order are used to gothic effect.

The Umbrella Academy plays this most directly (In fact, there are TONS of parallels between the end of s1 of TUA and House of Usher that I don’t have the time to get into right now... lmk if you want that meta). We can see the Hargreeves mansion as a very literal example of this. While not worn down, the house is notably both very large and very empty. Shelves are filled with merchandise for a superhero team that disbanded over a decade prior, and portraits of a family that no longer speaks to each other. None of the family members ever seem truly comfortable or at ease in the house, and for good reason - every back corner is a reminder of their incredibly traumatic childhood. 

In The Boys, the story begins with the fridging death of the main character’s girlfriend, Robin, at the hands of a member of the Seven, a group of heroes so ingrained in the public consciousness that when they later hide out in a costume shop, literally every single costume is for one of Vought’s heroes. The Seven represent the system in power, which, at the disposal of Not-Amazon means corporate greed, shallow altruism, and the cultivation of public personas at the expense of actual humanity. 

From that moment on, the sheer presence of The Seven on everything from public billboards to breakfast cereal is a remainder for Hughie (and the audience) that this established system doesn’t work and is based on lies, which serves this effect on a personal level. In the broader scale, however, we also see that the Seven themselves are fracturing under an unsustainable business model. Even their name, “The Seven” starts to seem a bit dated when halfway through season one through the end of season two there are notably... less than seven of them. 

The main characters in Doom Patrol are all in recovery after the accidents that irreversibly changed their lives. We see through flashbacks the people that they used to be, and the difference is striking. They were each established in their own elements: Cliff a famous race-car driver, Rita a world renowned actress, Larry a hero pilot, Jane was involved in counter-cultural movements, Vic was a student and athlete. The foundations upon which their worlds were established are completely decimated by the accidents, and now they (save Vic and sometimes Jane) live mostly in isolation in Niles’ manor house, an estate that is far larger than would be necessary to comfortably house a group of their size.

And you feel the emptiness, both in the manor, and in the lives of the characters. They have barely created a shadow version of their own existence when the series starts, so fragile that a simple trip into town devolves into utter chaos. 

Angela Abar of Watchmen has also constructed a life following the terrifying act of terrorism on the White Night. It’s a bit of a double life, and we see that the balancing act is challenging for her, even before the story truly begins. The death of Judd Crawford, and the revelation about him that follows is not only traumatizing on a personal level (but it definitely is that), but also upsets her understanding of the world. People she’s come to trust are not just dishonest but truly monstrous. And the more Angela learns about what has been happening, the more her understanding of the world begins to unravel. Her memories, and the memories of those around her are cast in a much more sinister light, and the effect is genuinely chilling. 

Part IV: “I’m the Little Girl Who Threw the Brick in the Air”

In episode 3 of Watchmen, Laurie contacts Dr. Manhattan on the cosmic phone booth to tell him a joke. It’s a version of what TVTropes calls the “brick joke,” and it relies on set up taking place early on, other stuff happening, and then the response coming at an unexpected moment. 

So, yeah. Events of the past/buried secrets resurfacing with consequences in the present.

Continuing with the theme from Watchmen, the entire series is punctuated with the way the past and the present intertwine, with elements from both the original Watchmen graphic novel, and actual American history. One of the things we talked a lot about in my gothic lit class was the manner in which the overhanging specter of past atrocities casts a shadow over the present, and how many works cannot help but have gothic themes because there are so many horrifying things in the past that cannot be ignored, and provide both context and nuance for the discussions we have in the present. No series tackles these topics quite so directly (and with as much care) as Watchmen. (note: it does not always make for easy viewing, but if you’re in a place where you feel like you can engage with that kind of material, I highly recommend the show.)

In Doom Patrol, the past actions of the characters very much control the storyline (see: previous discussion of Niles Caulder), but the character whose storyline I want to talk about here is Rita (partially for plot reasons and partially because I just love Rita, okay?). We learn when we first meet Rita that in the past she was... not a great person. We know that the trauma of the accident that gave her her powers has changed her, we also know that she still holds on to the guilt and that her guilt has limited the scope of her world for years, but we don’t know what exactly it is that she’s done. 

Enter Mr. Nobody, all-powerful narrator who is not just aware of Rita’s greatest sins, but perfectly capable of manifesting reminders of them into the story. She is confronted with empty cradles, and the sound of crying children in the background of many scenes and we see how much it effects her, without a full understanding of why it does (see: The Tell-Tale Heart). Her past begins to haunt her physically, and she begins to crumble in response to it, until finally she is forced to confide in a stranger (and thus the audience). The past actions do not just inform the audience of Rita’s character - they show up to influence her behavior in the present. 

The ending of The Umbrella Academy season 1 is super evocative of the gothic genre with Vanya breaking open the soundproof chamber (wherein she was silenced for years) and rising from the basement to destroy the last remnants of the Hargreeves legacy (which would be awesome if the last remnants of the Hargreeves legacy didn’t include the rest of her family). Pretty much every mistake the siblings make over the course of the season feeds together to create the finale, but the primary cause isn’t something any of them actually did. It all ties back to Reginald Hargreeves’ complete inability to be nice to children. Any children. His own and random strangers that need help. 

In The Boys, while the extent to which people are making f-ed up choices in the present cannot be expressed enough, we see through the characters of Homelander that many of the present difficulties are a result of past mistakes. Particularly, the profit-seeking corruption within Vought. We learn in s1 through Vogelbaum that Homelander was raised in a lab by Vought as an experiment, only to be unceremoniously thrust into the spotlight and told he was a superhero (which... does not justify a single one of his actions but is still a major yikes). As the head scientist of the project, Vogelbaum is very aware that ignoring his conscious if the name of research has essentially created the biggest threat their world has ever seen. 

(Seriously y’all just stop raising your super kids in isolation) 

Part V: Put Them Together, and They’re the MF-ing Spice Girls 

Having the environment respond to characters’ emotions/mental states is pretty common in gothic works (it was a dark and stormy night = someone is probably not doing super well). One of the advantages of the genre’s tendency towards the supernatural is that, often, those elements of the stories, as well, are reflections of the main ideas of a work of fiction (see: Stephen King’s really unsubtle period metaphors).

Because all of these shows have a ton of supernatural/scifi elements by virtue of being, well, superhero shows, I thought it would be easier (and more fun!) to come up with a short list of elements, what they mean, and what cases they might apply to.

1. A Nonlinear Experience of Time

The Umbrella Academy: legitimately about time travel. Characters are attempting to fix the timeline but are unable to because they are both mentally and sometimes literally stuck in the past. 

Watchmen: In the episode This Extraordinary Being, Angela experiences firsthand the experiences of her grandfather, under the influence of a drug called Nostalgia. The episode touches on many themes, one of which being the impact of generational trauma in marginalized communities. Throughout the series, Dr. Manhatten is cursed with experiencing all time at once, and the episode A God Walks into Abar illustrates that, because of this, he is constantly facing the consequences of particular actions before, after, and while he is preforming him.

Doom Patrol: Mr. Nobody is able to physically travel to one of Jane’s flashbacks via his fourth-wall breaking powers, and gives Dr. Harrison an ultimatum for the future. 

What it implies: Events, particularly events that evoke guilt or conflict, are not as rooted in the past as one would like to think.

2. Powers/Abilities that reflect personal trauma/failings

Doom Patrol: Larry’s abilities/bond with the Negative Spirit have made it so that he is constantly covering himself with bandages/avoiding other people, which reflects his experiences having to hide his identity as a gay man in the 50/60s. Rita forced herself to walk a thin line, betraying everything in pursuit of her image; her abilities require constant effort to keep her entire body from becoming misshapen and out of control. Vic’s father with boundary issues can literally control his perception of the world through his cybernetic enhancements. Dorothy’s abilities manifest as imaginary friends because she was kept isolated for years at a time. 

The Umbrella Academy: pretty much all of the kids’ powers are representative of the interpersonal skills they were never able to develop. Luther is super-durable but also the most emotionally vulnerable of the group. Five can teleport and time travel but always seems to be too late to stop things. Diego can manipulate the trajectory of projectiles but cannot escape the path his father set out for him, not matter how much he resents it. Vanya always forced herself to stay quiet until the sound literally explodes out of her.

The Boys: Annie’s abilities allow her to control light, but she struggles (in the beginning) to bring to light the horrible things done to her behind closed doors. 

Watchmen: Not technically a power, but Looking Glass’ mirror-mask is a constant reminder of the hall of mirrors that both saved his life and traumatized him forever. 

What it implies: from a story perspective, these allow for an exploration of trauma/guilt to occur on a scale much larger than people simply talking about their problems (as if anyone on any of these shows knows how to talk about their problems...) It also means that the trauma/guilt of the characters takes on a physical form that is able to haunt them, and constantly remind them/hold them accountable for their past actions.

3. Diluted Sense of Reality:

Doom Patrol: The first season is narrated by its main villain, and throughout the season we see that the act of narration itself has an impact on the story.

Watchmen: The event that kicks off the plot of the story is hinged upon a paradox introduced by Angela near the end of the series when trying to speak to her Grandfather in the past through Dr. Manhattan.

The Umbrella Academy: The pair of episodes in season 1, The Day that Wasn’t and The Day That Was take the same point in time and explore two possible avenue for the future from there, with The Day that Wasn’t ending with the events of the entire episode being completely erased from the timeline.

What it implies: you can’t necessarily trust everything you see, even from the audience perspective, giving them a position not unlike that of the characters. The character’s uncertainty and confusion is magnified and reflected in the world that surrounds them.

Other examples: an apocalypse (The Umbrella Academy, Doom Patrol, Watchmen (of a sort)), ghosts (The Umbrella Academy - hi, Ben!), immortality/invulnerability (Watchmen, Doom Patrol, The Boys), and characters that look significantly younger than they actually are (The Boys, The Umbrella Academy, Doom Patrol). 

Part VI: Why Did You Write a Literal Essay Don’t You Have Real Schoolwork (yes... shhhhh...)

And... there you have it. I don’t really have some grand conclusion here. This is (clearly) far from a complete analysis but it is the most my finals-week brain can concoct at the moment. 

If you have other ideas, let me know! You can always add to the notes or message me – my inbox is always open!  If you got this far, thank you so much for taking the time to read this! Much love! ❤️

[nad-zeta]

Hii! How would Nobunaga, Masumi, Sasuke, and Kenshin react to an Mc or s/o who lost her right eye in a fight??

Hi, there love! Hope you are doing well <3. Here is ya HC love hope you enjoy it dear ^o^❤🔥

Content warning: Violence 🐇😱

Headcanon: MC losing an eye in fight feat; Nobunaga, Masamune, Sasuke, and Kesnsin

Nobunaga

You and Nobunaga had been working so hard lately and needed to take a bit of a break and get away from all the busy castle 

One night as the two of you were drinking sake and snuggling on the balcony of your shared room, Haguro came swooping down and landed gracefully on the ground next to the two of you  ∩(·ω·)∩

“Seems he too needs a break, perhaps we should go on a falconing trip tomorrow, just the three of us.”  

You smile an excited smile up at Nobunaga, even Haguro screeched in agreement and excitement  (/◕ヮ◕)/

The two of you were off on your adventure to your favourite falconing spot

The two of you were having the best time hunting little mice in the field with Haguro

When all of a sudden a bunch of bandits appeared from the tree line  (・.・;)

Nobunaga fought to protect both of you, he tied up the bandits and just as the two of you just started celebrating your victory over them  

（ ^_^）o自自o（^_^ ）

One of the bandits shone a light in your eye, attracting his own falcon to attack you.  (l'o'l)

Nobunaga killed the bird but not soon enough, as you had lost your eye in the attack. 

Nobu just saw red, he swiftly killed the bandit’s friends, and sent the man who called upon the bird to injure his beloved, to be locked up and tortured by Mitsuhide.  (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

Nobunaga pulled out his clean hand towel and held it over your eye, he then picked you up and placed you on the horse racing the two of you back to Azuchi

He took you straight to Ieyasu to evaluate the damage

He paced outside Ieyasus room, Hideyoshi was there trying to calm him down.  (-"-)

Even Mitsuhide came to see how you were doing informing his lord that he will torture the man so badly that he would pray for death for harming their beloved princess

Ieyasu signalled Nobu inside and left the room to give the two of you a moment

He had sewn up the hole where your eye had been, Nobunaga sat beside you and gently caressed your face  ༼☯﹏☯༽

You had never seen the man cry until today, “hey hey hey what’s with the tears, I’m the one with one less eye, you don’t see me crying, do you.”  

(`･ω･´)

“But fireball it’s my fault…”, you gave him a passionate kiss to shut him up ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Nothing changed for Nobunaga, he still saw you as the most beautiful woman in the world, and boy did he remind you of that every day of your life

You moved on with your life as if nothing had ever happened at all

Nobunaga would buy you the best eye patches for you and outfits to match

Nobunaga would always drop sweet little kisses on both your eyes whenever he saw you. 

He would cradle your head in his hand and then gently kiss both eyelids, he would then whisper words of love in your ear, before leaving to his next meeting

Masamune

There was trouble in paradise as the Date clan was not happy about Masamune taking a foreigners hand in marriage

The two of you were appealing to the clan in Azuchi audience hall. 

During one of the meetings a fight broke out

They had their heart set on Masamune marrying a princess of their choosing  ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ

In the middle of the argument one of the men stood up, dagger in hand intending to kill you  Σ(゜д゜;)

The man aimed for you neck but luckily for Masamune’s quick reflexes he missed your neck, although what Masa didn’t see was that the dagger had been lodged into your eye socket

Everyone held their breath, you honestly sat there paralyzed, the shock was too much for you and you passed out 

Masamune was furious   ヽ(ｏ`皿′ｏ)ﾉ

He picked you up and held you close to his chest

He didn’t want to lose you, this boi though you were dead TBH  (ಥ﹏ಥ)

He nestled his face into your neck, his eyes went wide when he heard your heartbeat  (°-°)

He ran out of the council room and took you straight back to his manor

He called for his most trusted vassal who was responsible for cutting out his own eye, he also called for Ieyasu to assist

He sat by your side holding your hand tightly, his eye stung with unshed tears of fear, anger and frustration  （>﹏<）

Nobunaga had heard what had happened and there was definitely hell to pay for whoever dare try and kill their precious princess  (╬ ಠ益ಠ)

You woke up, Masamune looked at you with fear and worry. 

Ieyasu had told you what had happened and handed you a mirror

You looked at yourself in the mirror through your one remaining eye, you then looked over at Masa’s miserable expression “Well, I guess there is just one thing I can do in a situation like this”  (ΘεΘ;)

Masamune chocked out a reply “And what would that be kitten.”

“If eye’m being honest, this eye patch makes me look soooooo Eyeconic” (◕‿◕✿)

Masamune cracked a small smile “Lass are you trying to tell eye puns.” 

 ( ͡ಥ ͜ʖ ͡ಥ)

“Eye, Captain took you long enough” ༼ つ  ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ༽つ

Masamune blinks at you and you blinked back at him, all of a sudden both of you break out into a fit of laughter (ﾉ･_-)☆

Ieyasu just rolls his eyes “Did I miss something.”  ◔_◔

“Eye’ll be damned, you truly are the best kitten in the world.”

The two of you are legit pirate couple goals ٩(•̮̮̃-̃)۶

Eye puns have now been added to the list of thing the two of you goofballs joke about  >^_^<

Sasuke

You and Sasuke was goofing around playing ninja ninja ( ๑╹o╹)✬

A new ninja had approach Sasuke in the middle of your game and asked if Sasuke could show him some moves

You looked at Sasuke and gave him a nod of approval (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)

As Sasuke showed the ninja trainee some moves, you went to sit on a nearby bench to watch the two of them

As the trainee ninja went to throw one of the throwing knives, it slipped from his fingers and shot back

Your eyes widened as you saw the throwing knife heading straight for you

It hit you in straight in the eye (ʘ‿ʘ)

Sasuke was shook, he was in a state of shock he honestly didn’t know what to do ◉_◉

Kenshin had seen the whole thing unfold and rushed to your side

He looked at his paralyzed ninja and then started barking out orders

Everything happened so fast and Sasuke had been in a daze the entire time ◉_◉

The little ninja in training was now profusely apologizing to you  (⋟﹏⋞)

After you took the pain meds that Kenshin had gotten for you, you felt pretty chilled. Kenshin ordered the best doctor to help you out 

Sasuke finally came out his daze to see you with an eye patch on ಠ‿↼

He started crying, he didn’t know what to do  (つд⊂)

“Hey, Sasuke who am I… Whooooo lives in a pineapple under the sea.” 

( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ )

Sasuke laughed cried “Only you would imitate patchy the pirate during a time like this.”  (☭ ͜ʖ ☭)

“I’ve always wanted to rock the sexy pirate look, now finally my dream has come true” (｡◕‿◕｡)

The two of you spend the rest of the day making personalized eyepatches with your favourite memes painted on them  (✿◠‿◠)  (✿◠‿◠)

Kenshin

The two of you were out together playing with the bunnies in your favourite flower field  (✿◠‿◠)

You and Kenshin were sitting together snuggling and cuddling while he made you a beautiful flower crown from the flowers that surrounded you

❀ ✿ (✿◠‿◠) ❀ ✿

The bunnies hopped onto your laps and nuzzled the two of you love birds

( ・×・) ❀ ✿ ( ・×・) ❀ ✿

All of a sudden, the bunnies seemed on edge and startled

They stomped their feet on the ground to signal danger  (⁎˃ᆺ˂)

Kenshin quickly stood up and drew his sword   '̿'\̵͇̿̿\з=( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿

The two of you were being attacked by assassins from one of Kenshin’s enemies 

Word had got around that Kenshin had taken a lover, this particular enemy of Kenshin legit hated him and wanted to make him suffer

The assassins task was to kill you right before his eyes

Kenshin managed to fight off the skilled assassin failing to see a second one hiding in the tree lines 

He shot you in the face with an arrow  (°o°)

When he saw you topple to the ground lifeless, he left to report your death

Kenshin’s blood froze, and his heart stopped  ((+_+))

He gently cradled you in his arms, tears slipping from his eyes. ༼ಢ_ಢ༽

The bunnies surrounded the two of you nuzzling you as If to say wake up

Suddenly you started to move, Kenshin quickly picked you up, holding you tight to your chest and sprinted back to the castle  (つ﹏<)･ﾟ｡

He called for all the best doctor and physician to come to your aid

He was pacing up and down, he wanted nothing more than to destroy anyone who dares lay a finger on you  デ╦-( ͡ಥʖ̯ಥ;)╯╲___XXXX

Sasuke managed to calm him down, writing to your Oda friends about what had happened

Once Kenshin was allowed back into the room, he was at your side, head resting on your chest  ๐·°(৹˃̵﹏˂̵৹)°·๐

You gently pulled your fingers through his platinum hair and teary eyes looked up into yours  (^_^;)

Thankfully the arrow didn’t move further than your eye

Kenshin couldn’t help but cry as he gently traced the fresh scar in the place of where your eye was.  つ ಥ_ಥ ༽つ

You simply smiled at him and said it was alright ｡◕‿◕｡

Kenshin forgot how strong and brave you were, that you were a true goddess of war  (つ﹏<)･ﾟ｡

It took some time to calm Kenshin down and adjust to your new one-eyed life, it definitely made things easier when your Oda friends basically wiped out the enemies that did this to you ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з= ( ▀ ͜͞ʖ▀) =ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿

Kenshin spends every day reminding you of just how beautiful you are 

In his eyes nothing changed 

He took the liberty of painting little bunnies on your eye patches

(ㅇㅅㅇ❀)  

He would literally cut down anyone who dare say one bad thing about you or make a comment about your missing eye  ｡◕‿◕｡(◕‿◕✿)

Hope you enjoyed it love ^_^ ❤❤

[lady-plantagenet]

What hasn’t already been said: The Spanish Princess 2

Episode 3: GOOD Grief! (we finally have a good episode on our hands)

To all those of you keen enough to have come back for another segment of ‘what hasn’t already been said: TSP’, as opposed to have just been scrolling when you see this - welcome back! (Scrollers you too <3)

Drawing of Thomas More’s Son AKA who Margaret Pole at this point wants to be the step baby momma of ;).

To anyone who’s seeing this for the first time: what this is a list of observations, jokes, reactions and criticism which occur to me upon a rewatch. I wait every week until Saturday to do this so that I have had my fill of scrolling through the tag and aggregating what has already been said. I tried doing a whole spoof (here where I gave up 10% in) but tbh a) I don’t know the history well enough b) it’s more time consuming than I thought and c) this series is just not as funny or as crazy as TWQ, so it’s untenable. Having said that: This is not a hatepost. I’m not hatewatching this series and nitpicking on purpose but expressing my honest views and trying to find the good in it as well as the bad.

Without further ado...

First Scenes: 

LMAO the way Wolsey suggests they break their alliance with Spain is freaking hilarious because the actor delivers the lines as if he were a high school girl making a personal attack by suggesting the prom change its theme to 70s disco to the chagrin of the peppy up-and-coming rival.

Also @ Henry VIII looking like the peppy up-and-comer’s bff and shy stan with that pencil bite and small smirk when Catherine loses her cool against Wolsey.

I’m sorry... who is Henry married to again?

Also what is Margaret Pole doing at the council meeting?? I’m not saying I don’t like it.

Margaret Pole warning against certain repetitive thinking creating madness :(((

Attempted Naked Twister:

Oh Catherine, what is with you and all the other STARZ protagonists and that weird politcky bedroom talk? Who actually finds this sexy?

‘Catherine you are unnatural’ ooof that line delivery was somehow haunting.

Was the whole ‘I can’t be rushed you are off-putting with your overpowering’ a callback to Arthur and Catherine? Apparently there’s another writer for this episode so I won’t put all subtly past them. 

Scotland:

‘Shitey men’ asdkjashd

Look I’m tired of all this ‘my children won’t be safe’ line getting repeated. Look mate, murder of royal infants and children was not exactly a common occurence, even in cases of deposition. The Princes in the Tower are an exception to this but a very infamous case for that reason. Child murder was extremely taboo. In situations like this with an infant kid, no one is going to bother murdering the babies and taking their thrones, the lords will just vie for power and make themselves de facto rulers and oust the queen. It’s not a question of safety but a question of holding power. Stop giving all women characters perma mummy brains.

Maggie being all caring:

‘Barnaby’ *scoffs* ‘Such an English name’ - OH MAN 0_0 is Catherine mocking them for trying to adapt ? Like I know it’s meant to show her envy for Lina, but it’s coming out all messed up.

Our girl Maggie’s smile screams I’m beating your ass in chess.

Anyhow this is the least histrionic we’ve seen Catherine so far.

Chaplain vs Catherine:

I’m interested how Catherine will feel at Stafford’s execution given that I have noticed this show build up to a friendship between them.

Why is everyone laughing at the whole ‘will you delight us with new schemes’ line was not that funny?

LMAO at Thomas Boleyn’s attempted brown-nosing. 

You know what? Ruairi is a decent actor. When he says ‘so you admit it? you lost the child because you tried to be a man?” the actor conveys Henry’s troubled mind, lowkey scare towards Catherine and bewilderment all in one. The way his eyes do not move but just widen emotionlessly also gives this sense that he is being manipulated (which I guess they are going for with Wolsey). Then the whole choir music in the background.. I don’t know.. I’m liking this, it’s creating a vibe of a king of haunted and increasingly paranoid Henry. I’m sure they are going for that, so good.

Ursula Pole and Mama:

Maggie Pole say ‘riches don’t keep you safe’ with tears in her eyes :’(. Please tell me how this is not her thinking on her parents and granddad Warwick and what befell them ;’(.

I find Ursula refreshing actually, don’t get those types of heroines often. But they are making her similar to a gold-digger, an exhalted marriage was first and foremost considered a thing of honour. Noblepeople wouldn’t speak in such mercenary terms regarding their marriages. 

Post Mary Defiance:

I love the ‘horse’ nickname from Brandon n’awwww

Also just realised what made TWQ so atmospheric - that wierd ‘oooo’ sound effect in the background when a character was being paranoid or worrying. They are using it during Henry’s ‘How is it that I have no sons?’ and it is just... so effective.

Catherine calling them ordinary children... she just keeps striking me as more and more classist. Like ok, I know every royal was... but still, I thought she was meant to see Lina as a friend and equal despite her race and status. To add the race element, this kind of rubs me the wrong way.

Also it is so clear by the end when Catherine states how the king is upset with her, she expects Maggie to ask her about it.. but she doesn’t lmao.

Back to Scotland until Sexy boy fencing:

I love me this soft boi. Angus <3 <3

I like how they address that some men don’t really like killing and that violence isn’t inherent in a man’s nature.

Oh man, are we supposed to look at Lina’s house and deplore the impoverished conditions? It would go for at least 3,000,000 pounds in today’s property market?

Is Catherine being particularly classist again with ‘Why u not becoming a butcher Wolsey, ey?’. 

Though I will admit the ‘but giving meat to the poor is also good’ was one of her only smart comebacks.

Just realised, Catherine’s pink dress pretty as it is, looks straight out of the 1570s... why?

Montage and After:

You guys are right, there is this weird longing between Henry and Wolsey lmao. It is actually insane.

So basically Catherine is officially depressed

OOOFF we have Stafford as regent instead of Catherine. (edit: I suppose it’s cause they go to France which they didn’t historically? Also if Stafford is at home then what is his son later doing in France, why would he be there without his father. This show didn’t think this through)

Meg Singing:

An impassionate speech is not too anachronistic. But despite the title of this post (what hasn’t been said) I will reiterate that 16th century and Medieval people’s problem wasn’t that they were ashamed of their grief and didn’t cry. In fact, crying was somewhat more socially acceptable then than it even is now! Even manly men like Arthur were written as crying in literature such as Malory’s Morte d’Arthur. Obviously you couldn’t go overboard, but in truth crying was indeed often too performative rather than hidden too much behind doors.

Pole and More UWUWU in France and after:

I LIKE THIS INTELLECTUAL FLIRTING

It’s nice to see a depiction of romantic feelings between mature and level-headed subjects.

God Mary Tudor is so beautiful in this scene jesus. and the music when she was being presented was also very beautiful.

Maggie Pole getting given ‘a modest income’ yeah... she was one of the wealthiest peers of her day.

Also Maggie’s lady cousin not lady aunt Frost!

‘shaking of the sheets’ lmaoooo

William Compton cracks the hell out of me. I love this guy. He is just so creepy and twisted yet super keen and friendly. ahaha He looks like a riot, I hope we see him more. lmao tiles.

Also this palace feels very anachronistic almost 18th century-ish.

I like the Louis and Mary sequence, it’s nice seeing him trying to make her feel less scared, but OMFG when he lay on that chair.. for one second I thought they were trying to kill him off already.

Scotland: ‘Love is an open doooooorrrrr’ + Last Scene:

I ship Meg and Douglas ahhhh this soft boi x strong woman match is everything Henry and Catherine could have been.

I wonder... why is Lina speaking in Spanish more than Catherine. hmmm Are they trying to foreshadow Lina’s eventual return home and how Catherine become a true englishwoman?

Conclusion:

7.5/10

I cannot in all fairness believe it. This was actually decent. I’ve given up on historical accuracy long ago so by this point I’m focusing more on how it stands as as drama. I mean, TWQ was also a flop when it came to grasping the complex issues of that era but why do I feel compelled to rewatch it every year? Because it had atmosphere when it came to acting, music, certain aesthetics (though the costumes let me down often). It felt adequately gothic and dark, yet bright and jewel-lish when it had to be, sometimes both at the same time. Some one-liners were also memorable etc...

So far TSP 2 did not have any of this. Everything felt way too off and anachronistic. But not even consistently anachronistic. The music was also often very meh (though I just noted the absence of the spanish stringy theme that kept playing in season 1 - I guess I understand why), the dialogue very clichéd (‘alright lads let’s throw in the words: king, crown, power, fight, battle + other buzzwords and we have ourselves Shakespeare’) and so on... but I saw a change in this episode and I couldn’t initially point out what it was.

Upon rewatch, I identified some of the improvements (noted above) but above all: The producer was different! Boy does it show. Unfortunately, I think she is only for this one episode which really sucks. Come back! There is more chemistry between the couples, less predictable interactions, pervy Compton, cinnamonroll Douglas, better music, more scenic shots (e.g Douglas and Margaret in church) e.t.c. I hope it will match the rest of the STARZ productions in getting better towards the end.

Look it’s no masterpiece. But I’ll give credit where it’s due because at least this time it didn’t leave me feeling wanting and unsatisfied (if that makes sense).

[glacecakes]

Alchemy Lullaby (6/?)

Chapter 6: Varian makes a friend! Too bad it's not human. Meanwhile, Rapunzel and Eugene have a mini crisis.

Sorry for the delay! I wanted this chapter done a few days ago but my cat is very sick atm. She has a vet appt in 7 hours, hopefully we'll get her back to normal! She's not dying just a nasty infection. tbh I'm not majorly thrilled with this chapter but whatever it's cute it's harmless. Warning Varian is feral and eats a worm

Read the rest here 

The palace gardens sprawled out, carpeting the world with green. Small feet raced across bristles of grass, pale skin contrasting the dirt that was quickly sticking to his toes. Varian giggled at the sensation, marveling in it. It was so different from the dirt lining Corona’s roads. He didn’t have to worry about dust kicked up by horses or sharp trash. 

The six months on the street left Varian more mature than his fellow kids, though Varian thought he was just born smart like that. He hopped around, happily examining everything he could, from the way the grass blades danced to a small ladybug crawling across a leaf. His eyes sparkled with a childlike wonder as he explored.

The ladybug flew around him, circling to land. Varian followed it in rapid circles. He spun around and around until he was too dizzy, and fell to the grass giggling. He seized the opportunity. Being closer to the ground meant new things to discover! He crawled along until he reached the flower bed. Small buck teeth stuck out of his grin, face flush with delight as a butterfly landed on the morning glories. But wait, what was that wiggling? Ooooh….

From atop the castle porch, his father sat with his girlfriend and family. “He’s getting more and more adventurous everyday. It’s…. Both great and terrible?” He ran a hand through slightly messy hair. His legs hadn’t ached this much since his thieving days. 

The king hummed in agreement, narrowing his eyes at where Varian played. He’d invited both of them to tea, but the smaller chair sat long abandoned. “Yes, he is certainly… spunky.”

Rapunzel snorted into her cup. Her mother elbowed her in the sides. 

“Don’t get me wrong,” Eugene continued, not noticing the women. “I adore him, I love him! But he drives me crazy sometimes. Like, the other day. He flipped out because I didn’t cut up his grapes. Grapes! I say ok, I’ll cut your grapes in half. He flips out at that too.” It had certainly been a sight, Varian screaming like he’d been stabbed, wailing on the floor while Eugene sat there and let him cry it out. 

“Children have a hard time comparing emotions and memories,” Arianna placed a soothing hand on Eugene’s shoulder. “They think the simplest upset is the worst thing that’s ever happened to them.”

Eugene gave her a blank stare. “I know the worst thing that happened to him.”

“Which one, the abandonment or the kidnapping?” Rapunzel muttered into her tea. Arianna elbowed her harder, and the princess coughed up some tea. 

“My point is,” Arianna paid no heed to her daughter slowly dying. “Varian is still very young, it’s going to get easier.”

“Eugene!”

The man in question turned to see Varian racing towards him. One hand tucked into his pocket, holding his treasure close. The other stretched out to grab his dad’s hand. “Eugene! I got you somethin’!”

The man in question placed a hand over his heart delicately. “For moi? Oh, kid, you shouldn’t have!” Varian dug his toes into the pavement with a blush. “But uh… what is it?” A flower, perhaps? If that was the case he might actually melt.

The child pulled his hand out of his pocket and placed a crumbling pile of dirt into his hand. And atop the dirt was… worms. 

So many worms. 

Like, did the kid dig up every worm he could find? 

“...Thanks….?” Eugene managed, trying not to drop the whole pile in disgust. He couldn’t break the kid’s heart like that! He trusted Eugene enough to share his interests! 

“I saw you were all having snacks, so I brought some!” Varian chirped. “See?” He grabbed one from the pile and before Eugene could scream, placed it in his mouth.

Frederick nearly gagged, while Rapunzel couldn’t hold in her laughter any longer. She laughed harder when she saw Eugene’s horror-stricken face. Her boyfriend’s eyes were bulging out of his sockets, one twitching slightly, mouth slack in pure shock and agony. 

Finally he snapped out of his trance, leaping forward to pry his mouth open. Instead of standing still and letting him, like a good boy, Varian shrieked and raced back into the gardens. The kid was fast, too. He’d mastered evasion on the streets, so Eugene was really no challenge. Especially when there were trees to climb into and bushes to hide in! Choosing the later, Varian ducked into a small brush. He covered his mouth. 

“Varian, come on! Worms aren’t for people, they’re for animals, like birds, and raccoons…!” 

Speaking of the latter, soft chittering filled Varian’s ears. He turned around and came face to face with a raccoon. 

He’d seen some before, and even joined a few in scavenging through city trash. But this one was tiny! It’s fair fur was bristled and puffed up, the creature backed up into the bush’s branches. Varian scooted forward, and it skittered in fear.

“It’s ok, I’m hiding too!” Varian whispered through a mouth of worm. Wait! Eugene said raccoons eat worms, right? He spit it out. The poor creature wiggled weakly in his palm as he held it out. One sniff, two, and then the raccoon ate the treat. Its whiskers tickled the child’s palms, and it licked the hand when there was nothing left. Varian broke into giggles. “It tickles!” Slowly, like he saw older kids play with their pets, he reached out his other hand and ran it through soft fur. The animal nuzzled into the touch.

“I’m Varian,” He grinned toothily. “I’m four and a half! You’re a baby, like me, right?” The raccoon glanced up, its beady eyes staring deep into Varian’s. 

The child opened his mouth to speak more, only for large hands to yoink him out of the bush. 

Eugene stared down disapprovingly. “Young man, we have snacks right here! Why on earth do you need to eat worms!?” 

Varian didn’t seem guilty in the slightest. “It’s like spaghetti!” 

“Wha- I- It is definitely not like spaghetti!” Eugene ran a frazzled hand through his hair. He glanced back at the table, silently motioning his eyes between Rapunzel and Varian in a clear plea for help. The princess shrugged. 

Well, he could explain to Varian why it was bad to eat worms later. One thing at a time. “Come on, Varian, let’s go get your teeth brushed.” At this Varian groaned. He’d already brushed his teeth today! Now he had to do it again? Reluctantly the small child let Eugene drag him back inside.

He glanced back at the bushes, where his furry friend poked its head out. “I’ll be back!” The child whispered.

-

Frederick stirred his tea, brow furrowing. “It gets easier, huh dear?”

The queen didn’t look up. “You’re just mad Varian didn’t draw you into his family portrait.” 

“He drew Quirin but not me-!”

-

Varian ended up spending the rest of the day indoors, much to his chagrin. Part of him assumed it was punishment for trying to eat the worm (he kept telling Eugene he didn’t eat it, but Eugene didn’t believe him for a second), but in actuality, it was because an old friend of Eugene’s stopped by. Eugene had been helping Varian brush his teeth when Rapunzel poked her head in and let him know of their guest. The second Lance laid eyes on him, he wrapped the toddler into a crushing hug. “Flynn! I can’t believe I’m an uncle! And you didn’t tell me! Imagine my shock, I’m visiting Corona and I find out you stole a child!” 

Varian squirmed, alarmed at the sudden hug from a stranger. Wait… Flynn? As in, Flynn Rider? Flynn Eugene reads about every night before bed Rider? Varian opened his mouth to ask, when he was cut off. 

“Hang on, you stole Varian?” Rapunzel’s brow furrowed. “You said you picked him up off the streets!” 

“I did!” Eugene exclaimed. “I just… picked him up right in front of his abusive mother.”

Cassandra raised an eyebrow, heavily amused. “Did she relinquish her parental rights?” 

“Well, no, but,” Eugene sputtered. 

Gripping her hair in distress, Rapunzel shrieked, “Eugene! You kidnapped Varian!” 

Eugene flinched. “She kicked him!? What was I supposed to do?”

“Get the guards!” 

The princess was near hysterical in fury. She laughed. “Ok, no one panic. We just broke the law and kidnapped a child, so technically we don’t even have full custody of him and if anyone found out Eugene would go to jail and Varian would go back to his biological parents!” She gasped for breath, before turning to her boyfriend with unblinking eyes.

Oh damn was he in major trouble. 

“Hey, kiddo,” Lance chimed in, readjusting so Varian was on his shoulders. “How about you and I go for a walk, I’ll tell you about the crazy stuff me and your dad got into!” With that, he promptly bolted out the room, Cassandra following shortly after. 

The door shut behind her, and Eugene was alone with his death staring him in the face. 

“Eugene, what on Earth were you thinking?” She moaned, running a hand through long blonde strands. She paced back and forth. “You’ve only been pardoned for 6 months and then you go and kidnap a child! In front of his mother! You’re so lucky she didn’t try to find him! Or press charges!”

“Because she abandoned him!” Eugene crossed his arms. “Blondie, I never lied. I found him on the streets, he said his mom left him. We ran into her by coincidence, and she kicked him when he tried to hug her.” His voice shook at the memory. Even now, after Varian was in his new, loving family, thinking about her made him sick. 

“I get it, I technically kidnapped him,” He looked down at the floor. “But I don’t regret it for a second. And I’m not giving back. I’d be sending him to his death… or worse.” 

There’s quiet for a moment. And then Rapunzel sighs. Her furious facade fractures. 

“I don’t want to send him back, either.” She lets out a weak laugh. “I never saw myself becoming a mother so soon. But whatever he needs… I want to be there for him.” Her eyes hardened. “And I can’t do that if he’s not officially your son. If he’s never your son, he can’t become our son someday.” Gently, she took his hands into her own.  

“I know,” Eugene whispered. He leaned down, resting his forehead on hers. “I’ll make it official, I promise.”

-

“You’re making it official!?” Eugene yelped.

The king raised a confused eyebrow. “That’s an odd way to put it, but sure. We’re holding a ball to welcome Varian to the castle.” 

Rapunzel looked like she had swallowed a whole lemon. “I don’t understand… why are we doing this?” 

“Because your father is mad Varian doesn’t like him,” Arianna piped up, not looking up from her book. The man in question’s eye twitched.

“Varian is Eugene’s son, and therefore he will be royalty when you two get married… and part of our family.” The last part was spoken harshly, more directed at his wife. Frederick paused to think. “He is legally your son, right? I know you found him on the streets, but did you ever find his parents?”

Eugene and Rapunzel shared a look. It was a silent argument, panic in both of their eyes. 

“Nope,” she said. “No parents!”

She ignored the horror on Eugene’s face. 

Frederick glanced back and forth between them, eyes critical. It was if all the air had been sucked from the room, the only sound came from the ticking of a clock.

Frederick brightened. “Well, alright!” He turned around, oblivious to the sighs of relief from both Rapunzel and Eugene. “He’ll need a bit of teaching, some basic manners, and ballroom clothes…” Rambling filled the room, ideas and plans and lessons.

“Are you sure about this?” Eugene whispered. 

“Yea!” Was all Rapunzel could muster. “We’re in this together.”

“...This is gonna go terribly.”

“Probably.”

-

The next week was one of the best and worst weeks of Varian’s life. 

Well, it probably wasn’t nearly as bad as his weeks on the street, but to a toddler, boring was just as bad as dangerous. And by god was it boring. He had to sit and listen while Cassie and Rapunzel taught him how to eat, how to dance, how to stand– 

Since he was still very young, he didn’t need to learn anything particularly tricky, it was more about manners. Saying please and thank you, bowing, that kind of stuff. But to a feral child who stole to survive, he couldn’t care less about not slurping soup and introducing himself.

“Ok Varian, let’s try this again.” Rapunzel curtsied to the child. “My name is Rapunzel de Sonne.”

Varian bowed, back straight, just like Cassie told him. “I’m Varian Fitz…. Fith…. Fitzbert.” Cassandra snickered. 

Rising back up, Rapunzel sighed fondly. “Fitzherbert. Your name is Varian Fitzherbert.”

“Fizzybee.”

“Fitzherbert.”

“Fibucket.”

“Fitzherbert.”

“Fitzfuckbert!”

She turned white as a sheet at the last one.

The highlight of his days came around lunchtime. Cassie would catch up with Eugene and Rapunzel, discuss something or other that Varian wasn’t really interested in. He’d eat his sandwich, grab his apple, and then trek into the garden where his friend was waiting. 

The first day after the worm incident, he’d brought his apple to eat for himself. But the little raccoon had stolen it right from his hand. Varian was shocked! 

“I used to steal apples too!” He told the raccoon. “But Eugene told me it wasn’t nice to steal from people. And then Uncle Lance showed up, and apparently Eugene used to steal! Like me! And that’s why he likes me so much!” The animal chittered.

“Can you keep a secret?” Grey ears flicked in Varian’s direction. “I wanna be like Eugene when I grow up.”

The raccoon blinked. It didn’t seem to understand Varian, but that was ok! He liked having a friend. And it seemed his furry friend did too! He climbed up onto Varian’s shoulder, nuzzling into black hair. Varian giggled wildly. 

“That tickles!” He squeaked, and the raccoon purred. Tiny giggles slowly faded into the ether. A small head peeked over the bushes to see Cassandra happily enacting today’s lessons. Eugene’s knees buckled at the story, and little Varian sighed.

“I keep messing up,” He whispered. “I don’t wanna make Eugene sad… but this stuff is so… stupid! And boring!” He pouted. 

The raccoon purred louder. Vibrations rung in Varian’s ear, calming him. The child smiled once more. 

“You’re really soft, and nice, and cuddly,” He cooed. Carefully, his tiny hand patted the animal on the head, and he got a lick on the cheek for his efforts. “I wish I could take you with me! Then it wouldn’t be so boring.”

After the ball, he’ll introduce his friend to Eugene. They both loved him, they were bound to get along, right? 

Right!

-

“Oh, look at you!” Lance clasped his hands together, eyes lighting up. “You look so handsome in your suit!” 

Varian squirmed, uncomfortable in the suit. It had only been a few minutes and he was starting to feel hot in the getup. Its ruffles scratched at his neck, and the coat was tight around his torso. And the shoes pinched in all the wrong places, making it hurt to walk. He felt so stiff, so unnatural! A few tears budded in his eyes as he fidgeted.

“Where’s Eugene?” He mumbled. 

“Right here. Looking good, hairstripe!” Eugene poked his nose, prompting happy kicks. “You ready to show those stuffy nobles why you’re the best?”

“Yea!” Instantly, Varian forgot what he was so upset about. Eugene was here! Eugene made all his problems go away. He eagerly toddled into the big, outstretched arms, relishing the hug. They separated, but Eugene still gripped onto his son’s hand. The throne room opened with a flourish, revealing a massive crowd. Nobles of all sizes and creeds, from all over Corona and then some. They all stared at the little family, some with polite smiles, others with thinly veiled disgust. 

Ohhh boy. Varian squeezed Eugene’s hand a little tighter. 

“You got this, kid. Just remember what Cassandra taught you,” the man whispered.

Rapunzel stood from her throne. “Lords and ladies, I present the Fitzherbert family for the first time!” She shot the two of them an encouraging grin. The hall erupted into polite applause as they stepped into the room. 

Now that their introduction was over, it was time to mingle. The King had made sure to invite a few noble families, so Varian wasn’t the only kid by a long shot. Still, he clung to Eugene’s leg like a limpet, hiding when scary faces got too close. He let Eugene do all the talking, his cute face was charming enough. Some noble ladies would lean down to his level to say hi, and of course Varian would say hi back, but it was all too much! Outside of introductions, he had no idea what to say. Eugene seemed to know what to do like it was second nature, effortlessly exuding charisma. As long as Varian behaved, Eugene would do the talking, and the nobility would be on their side in no time.

Just another reason Varian wanted to be like Eugene.

“He’s so precious!” One woman gushed, reaching down to pinch his cheek. Varian winced but didn’t complain. 

“Hello, I’m Varian Fitz...fitzbert.” He mumbled. Oh no! He still couldn’t get his own last name right! He hid his face in Eugene’s pants. The woman didn’t seem to care though, in fact, she seemed to love it. 

“So polite and quiet, too! Not like my Shelby, that’s for sure.” She motioned for a boy to come to her side. No more than 9, his frizzy red hair was slicked back into a neat ponytail. “Shelby, this is Varian, he’s the princess’s stepson.”

“Ah, not yet, we’re just dating,” Eugene flushed. “But he’s just as much her son as he is mine.” 

Shelby rolled his eyes and waved to Varian, but the little boy didn’t wave back. He looked big and mean! When Varian was on his own, a bunch of older kids used to taunt him. They’d take his food, or push him into puddles, or throw things at him! Shelby looked like a kid who’d do the same. 

“Hey,” Eugene whispered. “Why don’t you go out to the garden? I think that’s where the other kids are playing.”

Garden? Varian could go see his friend! He nodded eagerly, slipping away from Eugene, but not before giving his leg one last hug. 

He didn’t notice Shelby silently following him. 

The gardens were completely different at night. During the day, sunshine filtered through the trees, bathing everything in a whimsical glow. Varian could happily get lost in that grove for hours. But once the sun went down, everything became quieter, more peaceful. The flowers all closed their buds and the bugs went to sleep. Tonight, the only life was the children playing around in the grass. 

Varian was the youngest of them all. He shuffled on the balcony, unsure of how to get down there without being seen. 

“Hey, everyone!” Varian whipped around to see who yelled, it was Shelby! “The little tyke came to play!” 

All eyes turned to him. Varian shrunk under their gazes. He didn’t want to hang with the big kids! He just wanted his raccoon friend!

Just as before, Varian bowed. “I’m Varian Fitzberhert.” 

One of the kids laughed at his butchering. “Hey, pipsqueak. I’m Tyrone. And my mom put me in charge.”

“Did not!” A girl piped up. “You’re in charge of your siblings, not all of us!”

“We’re all related, it counts!” 

“Does not!”

“Does too!” 

“You’re all related?” Varian butt in. Heads whipped around to stare at him and he regretted it. 

Tyrone smirked. “Yea, all nobility is part of the royal family, dummy. But you’re not part of the family. You’re just some dumb, poor kid.”

Varian stomped his foot in frustration. “No I’m not! Rapunzel’s a princess, and she’s gonna be my momma someday!”

Shelby laughed from behind him. “That doesn’t count! Where’s your real mom?”

“Um...”

The kids circled around him, growing closer. Their faces all showed malice, darker and teasing. Just like the ones from the street. “Your real mom. Where is she?” Shelby repeated.

A single tear swelled in Varian’s eye. “I dunno…”

“Exactly. Not Corona. Cuz she’s some random peasant.” The boy got up in Varian’s face. “And so are you. Just a dirty street kid who the princess took pity on. Well don’t get used to it.” With that, he pushed Varian down. With a cry, he tumbled into the dirt. His hair brushed a familiar bush, leaves getting stuck in his stripe. “You’ll be back on the streets when she gets bored.”

No… they wouldn’t do that, would they?

The thought alone was scary enough. That tear fell. Then another. Varian hiccupped, sad and alone. 

The bush behind him rustled, and a familiar tongue licked the tears away from his cheek. 

His raccoon friend burst from the bush, launching itself at Shelby with a screech. The kid flailed around, crying for Tyrone and the others to help, but they scattered. The wild animal jumped off of Shelby and onto the ground, hissing. Not letting anyone dare get close to Varian. 

“What is that thing!?” Tyrone shrieked. “Get it out of here!”

Varian tilted his head. Had none of them ever seen a raccoon before? “He’s just my friend!” 

The kids didn’t seem to take that as a good thing. Instead, they all bolted up the steps of the balcony, back inside. He could even hear one of them crying for their mom. 

The toddler glanced at his friend, confused. What on Earth was that all about? The raccoon didn’t seem to care, purring and nuzzling his friend.

“I gotta admit, this party has been a pretty big success,” Cassandra muttered. She, Rapunzel, Eugene, and Lance were hanging out by one of the bannisters, taking a break from socializing. “I keep hearing everyone talk about how cute Varian is.”

“I know from experience, rich folk are willing to overlook your past if you give them something nice to look at,” Lance joked, elbowing Eugene. The man rolled his eyes but smiled. Neither of them were wrong. 

“Speaking of Varian, where did he go?” Rapunzel asked.

Eugene pointed to the patio door. “He went to play with the other kids.”

As soon as those words were spoken, the balcony doors burst open, sending a flood of kids inside. They all scrambled to their respective parents, babbling about a creature, dirt, gross, tell the king to make it go away!

“What on Earth…?” Eugene muttered. “Where’s Varian?”

He poked his head out the still open door, and gasped in horror.

Varian sat on the grass, covered head to toe in dirt, laughing and petting a raccoon. An honest to god raccoon!

“Varian!” He yelled. “The heck are you doing?” 

Varian glanced up and grinned. “Hi Eugene!” Standing up, he toddled over to his family, the raccoon following right behind. Eugene’s yelling prompted another noble to peek outside as well, and gasped.

Varian came up to the door, staring at both Eugene and the noble. He bowed perfectly. “Hi, I’m Varian Fitzherbert, and this is my friend, Ruddiger!” 

[grouchythefish]

okay, so uh, gonna admit I was expecting like, 15 people max to take that quiz and it’s now at nearly 1000. Sooo I made an faq to address some of the stuff ppl are leaving in the textbox:

Why did you make this?

I will do anything if one (1) person encourages me:

Apparently I was wrong about the untakable thing.

Are you a horse girl?

this is one of the things where the more someone denies it the more ppl think it’s true so idk what I can even say here. I’m not a girl firstly. Also I don’t even really like horses and never have? I just grew up on a horse farm so I have a lot of funny stories. I didn’t like, choose this and as I’ve said in other posts it actually makes me deeply uncomfortable when people make this assumption because it is both inaccurate and misgendering so I would really prefer you didn’t.

will this turn me into a horse girl?

I do not have that kind of power. Only you can make you a horse girl.

Where can I find those overly specific spotify playlists?

here’s my spotify profile

That tma question caught me off guard because I'm in the middle of binging it right now/thinking about starting it:

that’s no coincidence, that’s the web at work, babe

Who the fuck is One One?

It’s a tongue twister/riddle from my childhood and goes like this:

One One was a racehorse Two Two was one too For every race that One One won Two Two won one too

yes, I took those 4 lines and extrapolated an entire personality type, die mad about it. (tbh much more thought went into the descriptions of the results than the actual results, half of them are from media I haven’t even read/seen)

[personal story/ fun fact/ joke/ meaningful confession]

I obviously can’t reply to all these individually for lots of reasons but if you put something like this in the box or the tags I did read it and it made me feel warm and fuzzy, thank you for sharing, I love you.

A HORSE BIT YOUR DADS NOSE OFF??

yeah, and another horse bit my mom’s finger off. Both were successfully reattached and you can barely tell tbh. If you really want the nitty gritty you can dm me but I’m not putting it here lmao.

Inquiries about Smooth Rapidash:

The “Smooth” is there for 2 reasons:

1 - To race a horse it has to be registered and it’s name needs to be unique within that registry

2 - When breeding horses it’s traditional to keep part of the name of the horse they were bred from in their name. tbh I don’t remember all the details of how that works but one of Smooth Rapidash’s parents would have had “Smooth” in their name.

If you want proof Smooth Rapidash existed you can google “Smooth Rapidash Standardbred” and find some records he is mentioned in.

You seem very similar to your parents

An internet quiz made as a joke is a poor way to make that assessment.

I’m trans do you have any name suggestions?

Personally I like these names: Ansel, Beau, Raelyn, Ashe, Kalen

but I bet you have something in the back of your mind you’re secretly hoping I’ll say. Go with that one.

This quiz is bad/stupid and I hate you/why is it all about you?

I think I made it very clear the kind of quiz this was going to be both in the description and the tumblr post. If you are feeling upset because the questions are exactly what I said they were going to be I don’t know what to tell you.

???????????

Today I learned all emojis show up as question marks on uquiz. Sorry I can’t see what you tried to send, I hope it was nice.

Tell Odin I love him:

Done

Can we be friends?

probably idk

----

feel free to shoot me an ask if u wanna know more or have comments or whatever. These are just the qs that came up multiple times. 

[javisjeanjacket]

The Phantom Menace Drunk Re-Watch

A/N: y’all asked for more reviews and I am here to serve. :) also THE HORSE IS OUT OF THE HOSPITAL CAN I GET A HELL YEAH YOU KNOW I HAD TO CELEBRATE SOMEHOW!!

I am already regretting re-watching this god awful movie but i can’t do maul dirty

there are spoilers for phantom menace in this list but like...its been out for 21 years. if you havent seen it yet what the fuck are you doing

Jesus christ this thing is 2 hours long fuck me

Starting the opening crawl off with a bunch of high brow political information was a BOLD move at best

Obi-Wan "I have a bad feeling about this." Kenobi

YESS OBI AND QUI FUCK EM UP BOIS

Okay okay wait so around 7 minutes into the movie they have a standoff with two droidekas and the droidekas are kicking their asses and so they escape and then somehow just zoom out of the frame?? like they don't walk they're just pulled by some kind of force??? 1999, man

Obi: "The negotiations were short" what a smug ass bitch i love it

"A communications interruption can only mean one thing-invasion" dude what the hell that can not be the case. have you checked the wifi router my guy

Oh fuck I forgot jar jar binks is in this movie get me another beer

also who plays jar jar?? becauseeee I just want to talk. why would you do this to us

That cheek blubbering shaking he does?? JAIL. I AM ABSOLUTELY PUTTING YOU UNDER ARREST STOP RIGHT NOW

Do you think the phantom menace was for the prequels what rise of skywalker was for the sequels in terms of disappointment in the theater

So fun fact about me I have a horrible fear of the ocean and water in general so this whole underwater sequence is literally making my skin crawl

Naboo is vaguely reminiscent of rivendell from lord of the rings I said what I said

While I do respect how much effort they put into the political side of this movie's plot I feel like it's kind of getting in the way tbh

HELL YEAH FIGHT SCENE IN THE HANGAR BAY

"hello boyos." Me trying to flirt

What makes me emo is knowing that R2 was there for literally everyone's adventures and he saw it all and he knows it all but he can't tell anyone :(

MAULLLLLL HELLO SIR ITS V NICE TO SEE YOU

Jar jar is the 8th circle of hell

How tall is Natalie Portman?? because standing next to Liam neeson she looks like she's about 3 feet 4 inches

Anakin's first words to Padme: "are you an angel?" 🥺🥺 Oh-

Watto's neck beard makes me increeeeedibly uncomfortable

Also why doesnt Jedi mind control work on toyardarians?? I have questions

Jesus christ sebulba is terrifying

OBI'S CAPE IN THE WIND SO MAJESTIC I LOVE IT

Okay so at 38:38 into the movie r2 is going into Ani's bedroom and there's a wood carving that looks exactly like Maz Kanata??? 👀👀👀

🥺🥺🥺 3PO and R2 meeting for the first time!!!

Not jar jar eating his food from his plate like a fucking dog please just kill me

Qui-Gon: "I don't know there's just something about this boy." Me about literally anythinf with a pulse and floppy brown hair

C-3PO: "You know, I find that Jar Jar creature to be a little odd." Lol SAME

What is wild to me is that ani's midichlorian count is dummy thicc but it's not talked about enough to be something I remember

MAUL HAS ENTERED THE SCENE THE MAN IS HERE EVERYONE BATTON DOWN THE HATCHES

Qui-Gon to Watto: "Patience, my blue friend." Sksksksk Qui-Gon please

Wait wait wait one of the pod racer announcers is played by one of the guys who was on Whose Line is it Anyway? I just realized! What an amazing show I miss it everyday

That animal farting in jar jar's face lol he deserves it

Also lol why is sebulba so mean to Anakin?? Anakin is like 9 years old. Sebulba is definitely full grown. grow up you fucking loser

I've reached that point in my drinking adventure that I am get very tired so fingers crossed that I don't fall asleep 🤞🏻

Watching this pod race sequence as a child is part of the reason I have so much anxiety now

"Skywalker's spinning out of control!" Lol same

Anakin ate that race tbh

Has anyone written qui gon x shmii content?? because he just put a hand on her shoulder and 👀👀 I am thönking

MAUL V QUI FIGHT SCENE LETS GOO

Listen LISTEN Anakin is like what 9 or 10 in this movie and Padme is ?? 15? 16? No dude. No giving of a necklace and saying "I care for you" absolutely not. JAIL

Palpatine is so good at emotionally manipulating people he must drive a Honda Accord and his favorite movie must be Clockwork Orange

MACE WINDU I SEE YOUUUU YEEHAW

The reveal of Padme as queen doesn't make any sense. Like why?? You could have just waited until it was absolutely necessary bro no need for a dramatic entrace

Anakin too baby to be in battle

Wait is this movie the Star Wars version of the classic man vs technology?? because I'm thinking about the gungans which are very like organic and versus the droids

Also the gungans shield didn't stop the droids from just straight up walking through so like what the fuck is the point guys

YASSSS Maul and Obi and Qui-Gon here we go!!

Seeing maul bust out the double edged lightsaber really made me tingle when I was a young lass

This maul fight is incredibly extra but what else do you expect from the Star Wars franchise

Qui-Gon meditating while waiting for the barrier to fight Maul is absolutely too much

Yay!! the evil donut blows up

IN CONCLUSION

I did fall asleep towards the end there I'm not gonna lie, but ya know, we've all seen this movie before, so.

it was just as horrible as i remembered it but like....i did enjoy falling in and out of sleep as it played in the background so that counts for something right??

[inappropriatestork]

@gingervivilou tagged me in a thing! Thanks :) do you make your bed? Not really. I kind of spread it up so the comforter covers everything, mainly so my cat won’t track dirt or litter into the sheets and/or puke on them. But I don’t actually make it properly and neatly. No one ever sees my room and you’re just going to undo it again every night.

what’s your favourite number? 8. Don’t know why.

what’s your job? I’m a paralegal for a solo lawyer, it’s completely unsuited to me and I am bad at it and I hate it and it gives me panic attacks 🙃 But it pays twice as much as retail and I simply have absolutely no idea what else to do or to study or pursue, or how to figure that out.

can you parallel park? Nope. Not unless it’s an open space with several open behind it so you can just drive in. I’ve lived in several cities that had lots of parallel parking downtown but I’ll park blocks away in a garage or something and walk to avoid it. Thought it might be easier with a backup camera on my car now - it is not. I failed my drivers test twice - the third time I got everything except parallel parking perfect, so I passed. 

a job you’ve had which would surprise people? I’ve only really done retail and my current job, tbh. Retail might kind of surprise people because I’m fairly shy, but was actually fine with customer service and even pretty good at dealing with nasty customers. But I’m shy in social small talk/idle chitchat situations - when there’s a purpose like in retail, so you know what to say, I’m fine.

do you think aliens are real? Not really in the little green men sense, but the universe is huge, it would be crazy to categorically say there isn’t any form of life anywhere else in the universe.

can you drive a manual? No. My first car was a 66 Thunderbird but it was automatic. My parents both like manuals but we haven’t actually had one in years, so there was nothing to learn on.

what’s your guilty pleasure? I dunno, I like lots of things but don’t feel particularly guilty or ashamed about them.

tattoos? I like them on other people but I get anxiety about using stickers, I could never decide on a tattoo design and commit to it for life.

favourite colour? Light blue/turquoise

things people do that drive you crazy? Loud eating, hugging/touching me without asking, repetitive loud noises (tapping, whistling, etc), interrupting me, not listening when I’m talking after I specifically get their attention (Me: Hey, so about the Smith case. My boss: Yes? Me: [longish explanation or question] My boss: ...wait, what did you say, I wasn’t listening. Me: 🤬🤬🤬)

any phobias? Don’t like spaces I can’t see (my bed is definitely against the wall), but weirdly probably my biggest thing is breaking nails? Someone talking about it will make my skin crawl and make me shudder and sometimes I just get awful visions of breaking a nail badly that make me cringe and won’t get out of my head? It’s weird.

favourite childhood sport? I guess you could say horse racing, I definitely had a Horse Girl phase and was obsessed with the Thoroughbred book series and for a few years my friend and I would watch the Triple Crown races and racing movies and such. But otherwise I was never into sports at all, grew up in a family that did not care in the slightest about sports, then got into F1 and then MotoGP in my late 20s, and hockey in my 30s and now am completely obsessed (although I still don’t really care for any of the mainstream sports like football and basketball).

do you talk to yourself? In my head all the time, but only sometimes out loud and mostly just if I’m trying to keep something straight or work through something.

what movies do you adore? Near the top of the list in no particular order: All About Eve, Walk the Line, How to Steal A Million, Mamma Mia, Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid, Dirty Dancing, Roman Holiday, Dear Frankie, Mulan, Anne of Green Gables, The Mummy, The Parent Trap (1998), The Princess Bride, The American President, Much Ado About Nothing, Tangled, You’ve Got Mail

do you like puzzles? Yes. Jigsaw and also crossword and logic puzzles (but not sudoku, never could get into those).

favourite kind of music? Lots, but especially stuff with good harmony. Classic country, folk/traditional, bluegrass, and also classic rock/oldies.

tea or coffee? Tea, preferably Lady Grey, lots of sugar

what’s the first thing you remember you wanted to be when you grew up? Weirdly, when I was little, I wanted to be a nurse because my mom is one. However I grew up to be a touch-averse, squeamish person who is deeply uncomfortable with other people’s bodies and people being in my space, and handing people money across a cash register is as close as I want to get to most people. There is not enough money in the world for me to be a nurse!

Not tagging anyone right now but feel free!

[iwannawritepls]

Le Morte d’Arthur Thoughts P1

I’m lending Les Mis to a friend so here’s the first 10 chapters of Le Morte:

Book One

Chapter One

thats a really long chapter title wowzer

Cornwall has some really good folklore 

i should mention that i kinda knows what happens in these chapeters because i read teh first 7 about two years ago 

Boo come ‘round for dinner. Bring your wife :)

He wants to have sex with another mans wife oh nonono

Igraine is a good wife. Loyal wife. Guinevere’s foil…?

What is this logic? ‘If he doesn’t come round for dinner go to war with him?’ Whattt

The castle he’s in is…terrible…(the castle was called Terrabil)

He loves her so much that he’s sick

Or…or you’re just sick because this is medieval England and you drank some bad water?

‘You’re looking for Merlin? I’m Merlin!!’

Chapter Two

Another long title. I love that.

Gat Arthur. I love old English Oml

He didn’t ask what he wanted in return before he swore to give him anything he wanted? Rookie move.

What are you a fairy-tale witch?

Casual murder

…that’s kinda…ultra-violence...

3 hours after his death man Wowzer

Get thee to a nunnery!!!

Necromancy? Like...bringing the dead back? or necromancy like just magic?

Chapter Three

Toxic man

No hun you don’t have to sleep with him because he’s your husband

X to doubt

He’ll put his own kid aside and have his wife feed Arthur leaving Kay to be ignored…this is why Edmund was all bitter in King Lear

At least he didn’t say no to handing the kid over. It could’ve been worse

Chapter Four

Good. Get sick. I hate you.

And then and then and then and then

Good get sick again.

Let him dieeeee

His ghost just yeeted out of his body

Uther is dead at lasttttttt

Chapter Five

The archbishop of Canterbury (current) looks like that once science teacher who we all know was bullied in school and tried to be hip and down with the kids, but you just end up kinda hating him.

Was the sword was sent by god? Or by Merlin? Or what? Where did the sword come from? Did it just fall out of the sky like a meteor? The sword is actually a parasitic alien life form

God damn it Kay

Did nobody tell Arthur what this alien sword is?

That’s just bad planning. No knights guarding the sword when you said 10 would at all times? Really?

Parasite sword has found its host

‘He handled the sword by the handles’ good! Don’t handle a sword by the blade that’s how you lose fingers

Tom! New line for new speaker! At least use some damn speech marks I’m so confused

Oof imagine failing. I could pull the parasite sword out of the stone you just need to put salt on it. It’ll shrivel up like a leech

Chapter Six

Did Ector never figure out this Arthur was Uthers son? He got loads of stuff from uther right around the time that he got the baby and the baby was brought in a golden cloth and Oml like surely he knew!

Nobody: Ector: You’re adopted

Make my son one of the most important and influential positions in your court is all I ask

There’s a mix of Celtic and Christian holidays here. Candlemas and Christmas which is super interesting from a studying point of view because they’re coexisting and not clashing

Chapter six the chapter where Arthur pulls the sword out the anvil twelve thousand times

Ulfus lived!!

Chapter Seven

Even the poor are bored of watching Arthur pull the sword form the anvil

I’m glad to know that the rich have been self-serving throughout history. Like bacteria they scarcely evolve over time

What reason do you have to invade Scotland Arthur? What did the Scottish ever do to you?

What did Wales ever do to you. Next thing it’s gonna be Ireland.

Chapter Eight

The king of England lives in Wales nowwww (that’s just where he lives) this isn’t the Byzantine empire Arthur! Who do you think you are? Constantine?

That’s a threat

This reminds me of that scene from brave where they’re all racing each other on the boats to be the  first ones to land

Oof man rude. We won’t accept your gifts because you don’t have a beard!

what did Ireland do to you? Also was Tom a magician because he somehow knew England had all of them under their control for a hot minute

Whether they will or nill

Chapter Nine

Lot asks a question and Merlin Yeets out. Same tho

4 took on 300…Wowzer

Oh no. Not the horse. Whoops. I am so so very sad

His bling was so bright it blinded people

Skedadled

Chapter Ten

Oh he moved back to London cool cool

Wait I thought there were only 3 kings at war with him not 6

They’re bad barons then they can’t do the one thing they’re supposed to do

What are the rules for asking Merlin what to do? Why doesn’t everyone just ask Merlin? Like Arthur just asks him whenever so what are the rules?

Wow they’re getting help from the French???????? William the conqueror would be…not pleased tbh cus Normandy and France were not good friends for a hot minute

Did they just not know that there were kings outside of England?

What the fuck why are they about to get killed????

Oh that’s why

Smote what a great word

We want you to declare war on like 6 kings ‘that sounds like a reason to partyyyy’

Archbishops of Canterbury makes his return

Wow what a great time they must have had before going to war

[shadowtongued]

DISCLAIMER; THIS HAS BEEN IN THE MAKING SINCE DEC 2017, I was just too shy to post it. Keep in mind that I'm not in any way, shape, or form trying to put my headcanons or interpretation of lore over anyone else's and this is pretty much just a general long-form run down for my roleplay blog to help people who aren't familiar with RS, so for my non-RS friends it's more of an explanation of how this 'tall ancient magic alien man' is and works. Physiology and some other cultural blurbs with the occasional emphasis on Sliske, because, well, that's what my roleplay blog is for. This is also mostly a passion project since I'm pretty fixated on this, if you read this at all, kudos to you and ily, ty for coming to my Ted Talk about this. Special thanks to people/friends who put up with me ranting abt this obscure fandom and helped me flesh out headcanons, and @theresiidentdevil  the artwork that i commissioned that i use way too much bc devil really... really did my version of snek man nice. Other imgs used are scrounged from ja.gex’s concept arts and etc. ONCE AGAIN THIS IS NOT CANON, AND JUST MY PERSONAL HYPOTHESIS, feel free to reblog but please don’t like... edit or try to give me heavy crit or come @ me with some lore bit from so-and-sos tweet that I am wrong and am a doodoo head or something. This was just a spot o’ fun and please don’t try to drag my interpretation or expunge this for laughs on the official lore discord. I’ve seen it done before and it’s not cool. individual creative interpretation is beautiful, mob bullying is not.

To kick things off, the Mahjarrat are one of a few ancient tribes that live on the ash, lava, and stone wasteland that makes up the dead planet of Freneskae. They are highly skilled in magic and intellect by nature, as well as living by a firm form of kratocracy; a government by those who are strong enough to seize power through coercive power, social persuasion, or deceptive cunning. Along with this, their survival revolves around two rituals, one of death and sacrifice, the other of life and breeding. That right there should tell you a LOT about them, socially.  

HEIGHT.

Height varies from Mahjarrat to Mahjarrat, they are always going to be towering over most species, and most humans, as lore states that they generally are 1.5x the average human height. Sans that one wild ass gene of hyper height that makes gargantuan Mahjarrat like Lucien and Zemoregal, who tower over even Azzanadra's spike pope hat. Sliske himself stands at an 8′4 height, but that's just my headcanon for this blog's sake.

SKULLS / BONES.

The Mahjarrat have thick skulls, if this wasn't pretty obvious with the additions of dual lines of bony ridges running parallel from the brow to back of the skull, and lower. Some, but not all individuals have rather, short horns as their 'first ridge' before normal ridges. They also seem to have a subtle browbone ridge above each eye. Sliske, as well as some of the canon Mahjarrat we know, have these short horns and I like to exaggerate them a bit as sharp and more obvious, because who doesn't love horns? I'd imagine there are also ridges across other parts of their bodies such as the shoulders, elbows, knees, smaller ones on the knuckles, and perhaps down the back and along the hips. Go wild. Anyways, their skulls are thick and heavy, as in if it comes down to having to head-butt someone at the sacrificial ritual as a last resort physical conflict when magic is exhausted, someone is going to be using every exploit they can to survive. Anything counts when your life is on the line. 

*above concept art is of their lich-like forms. good for seeing skull shapes.

Most also have rather large jawbones and powerful jaw muscles, and have a decent bite force to clamp down; like above, can and will use the force of their jaws if they have to with a good 1,069 psi (pounds per square inch), a little less than a hyena, meaning they can break bones with enough force. The main reasoning for this is their powerful mandible adductor muscles and the leverage needed to keep their jaw closed in their lich-like forms with the loss of skin and some atrophy, when they begin to run low on energy before every 500 years ( more on this later ), otherwise their toothy jaws would be hanging open and they'd look quite silly. It's quite rare for a Mahjarrat to bite unless as a last resort attack, out of spite when healthy ( almost as if saying 'you are weak and aren't worth the waste of magical energy' ), or for other minute reasons. Males tend to have very pronounced 'spikes' on their chins and larger skull ridges, but it's not completely unheard of a female having a 'spiked' chin and larger ridges. Sexual dimorphism isn’t too well explained or solidified by Jagex, we haven’t really seen much due to the few living Mahjarrat we see.

TEETH / CONSUMPTION.

personal interpretation of sliske’s teeth here.

Speaking of teeth, Mahjarrat have exceedingly sharp teeth for being part of a race that is not carnivorous or needing any sustenance at all. They have more teeth than humans (not really canon, just my personal interpretation, I prefer them being very Alien over ‘grey human reskin’); while almost every tooth has a sharpness to it, be it incisors or tines in the molars. Their front teeth seem to be ridged with smaller points, you probably don't want to get nipped by them, even if it's just playful or affectionate (uh, whatever they deem as affection). It's a real shame that Sliske seems to enjoy this, in the few moments he puts on a faux air of affection to scratch an itch or when deciding to use seduction as a ploy to further his manipulation or intel gathering, among other rare, convoluted feelings towards someone he's 'affectionate' with. Teeth shape and sizes can vary due to the Mahjarrat way of breeding and eugenics to create survivability through offspring on what traits work. Basic Darwinism, tbh. Following my ever favorite serpent motif for Sliske, you can expect his teeth to be pretty ophidian/snake-like. Due to my headcanon to their dark blood color, Mahjarrats may have dark or black gums. Small addition: babs do have sharp defensive baby teeth that fall out into hellish adult ones. Nice.

Mahjarrat do not need to eat or drink, as they are fueled fully by an arcane energy that they receive from rituals, and slowly deplete this over several centuries. Their power can last even longer if an individual is stingy with their power, or unaware of their power like Kharshai, who spent several centuries in a human guise hardly using any energy while unaware he was even a Mahjarrat. Despite not needing sustenance, it's not unheard of for Mahjarrat to attempt eating or drinking for whatever reason, be it pleasure or to emulate others. Hazeel's memories almost adorably describe some Mahjarrat attempting to sit and politely eat with humans to 'bond with them', despite them later having to regurgitate what they had eaten and Hazeel's repulsion at any creature eating at all. Several lore snippets include Zamorak enjoying wine and in Kindred Spirits, Sliske making the comment he may be drunk after downing the contents of a bottle. Whether or not they actually can become inebriated or have any sort of digestive system to even mildly uptake anything is debatable. For headcanon's sake, I like to think Sliske has no issue with pleasure eating and for taste, especially chocolate, fully knowing he'll have to bring it back up later. Most Mahjarrat have tongues that can be dark in color to only slightly brighter due to their dark blood color. Like horns, some end up with a slightly bifurcated tongue tip, some do not and have a single, sharp tip. Sliske is an extreme mutated case and has a very obvious black, snake-like, forked tongue. Just don’t ask him to do the thip thip because he won’t.

(WHERE’D YA GET THOSE) EYES / SENSES.

Usually, A Mahjarrat's eyes correspond to the color of the jewel embedded in their crown, but not always. They have very, keen eyes and their eyesight is exceptional to suit the darkness of Freneskae due to the constant ashfall and cloud cover. They can see short distances, but farther into heavy smoke and ash than most species, and can indeed see in the dark with excellent night vision and have a structure similar to an animal's tapetum lucidem, which is what reflects light and makes that eerie glare you see from animals in the dark. Due to spending a lot of time on Freneskae and being well adapted to that environment, it was quite a jolt for them to get accustomed to sunlight on Gielinor when brought during the Menaphite War, as they were used to heavy 'cloudy' weather due to ash blocking out what light they did get, and being used to the constant lightning strikes and the glow of volcanic rifts and lava pools. But they adapt quite well and while they still prefer muted lights, they have no problem in the sunlight after adjusting a bit. Think of when it’s a sunny summer day and you leave your dark house and how for a few minutes you have to acclimate. Sliske has the most trouble with this, seeing as he still spends quite some time in the darkness of the Shadow Realm which is hazy and muted in light. He's quite prone to straining and headaches/migraines from bright lights on Gielinor ( and Earth since a lot of my writing takes place on Modern Earth ).

Mahjarrat have fairly acute senses and sharp ears, and while most concept art shows them similar to human ears, why not lorge, sharp, and pointy ( as not to be so human )? Plus, imagine a few with larger, pointed ones that flick when irritated. That's cute, but deadly. They can hear fairly well and can hear you talking shit. Not exactly up to par with a bat or a moth, but quite up there with horses or cats. I'd imagine the rest of their senses are pretty keen despite not using taste or smell as much as a human, but most senses are still fairly above a human’s.

I'm not exactly sure how they'd fare in the aspect of touch, but it is known that they are very, very strong and can break bones with their bare hands. They have exceptional strength in their bodies and despite teleporting some ways, I'll bet most of them are decently muscular or lean under those robes due to their solidity and a bad example perhaps, but, uh, have you seen Zamorak's exposed chest? I'm sure 'godhood' didn't change that much, albeit some. Who wouldn't love a decently built Enahkra who will hand your ass to you? A babe. Sliske himself, while being one of the leanest of the Mahjarrat, probably has core strength and broad shoulders under those pauldrons. I'd like to imagine he'd also ( as some other of his kin) would be pretty flexible and train his Praetorians to be similar and absolutely strong in the event of having to resort to physical combat or maneuvering out of capture. Most of them were born on Freneskae, a planet made of plenty of solid rock/crystal cliffs and caves, they made pilgrimages pretty often to the ritual site, so some rock climbing was probably involved as they grew. Plus, image small, child Mahjarrat, not able to teleport or be proficient in magic, just out on a day with less lightning, climbing around, chucking rocks into lava for fun. I'm getting off-topic and we'll talk about babbies some other post.

SKIN / STRIPES / SCARRATIONS.

personal interpretation body/stripe of sliske here. (mildly nsfw)

 Skin colorations are usually running the gamut of dark grey, pale grey, and dull color such as a grey-green, grey yellow and more. It's also notable that Mahjarrat are shapeshifters and are known to slowly take on the appearances of the conditions they are in for extended amounts of time; Kharshai becoming more 'viking-esque' like the Fremennik people who took him in when he was unaware he was human, and also Bilrach's warped appearance from spending god knows how long in Daemonheim with larger ridges, scarring, and some more demonic-looking features. Sliske himself has a very deep, dark slate grey skin tone from the amount of time he spends in the dark of the Shadow Realm, beginning to mimic its dusk. 

Mahjarrat have thick skin, built initially to withstand the heat and abrasion of their home world’s rocky and dangerous climate and environment, but also notably protective against icy and snow-fraught climates, as they have little to no issue or complaint at heading far North of the Fremennik Providence, near the icy fortress of Ghorrock where their ritual stone lays on Gielinor ( it's also notable that Jhallan asks the adventurer to re-seal him within a fuggin’ block of ice to rest again, proving they do not mind the cold at all ). Their skin can scar if proper regeneration is not taken to heal wounds, as Mahjarrat are known for almost instantaneously healing themselves of most wounds on the battlefield to their own volition, but this is quite rarely seen on them, sans Bilrach.  For all we know, they could be quite scarred from lack of regeneration fueled by magical energy or quite severe wounds under those robes that cover most of their body, I personally headcanon that some may have some scarring on their hands and forearms due to the might of some of the spells they use. I also personally headcanon Sliske having a pretty nasty burn across his shoulder and ribs trailing to the hip on the left side from Tumeken's explosive self-sacrifice detonation that wiped out the entirety of his army and at least 3/4ths of the Mahjarrat present, sans the ones spared by Azzanadra's quick shielding. I would think that some of them also may have suffered from similar scars due to Kharshai admitting they were tired and wounded after the event.

Striping and markings can litter their forms in sparse or rather heavy. Most Mahjarrat have at least some facial striping that can be a monochrome pale grey or darker, or a bright color such as Wahisietel's bright red trailing across his ridges to his chin spikes, Enakhra's vivid pink colorations, and Khazard's orange striping. While stripes may look similar from individual to individual you are hard-pressed to find two Mahjarrat with identical markings, and we have never heard of any twins being born from their tribe in canon ( Not saying it's not possible! But that would be a lot of strain seeing as once child is hard enough for a pair to conceive ). It's unknown if the stripes are across the rest of their bodies, but I say to hell with it. Why the hell not? Let the stripes go as angular or curvy as they please across their skin. Why limit the imagination. They are aliens. For the sake of me writing Sliske; he's a very pale silvery, parallel stripy thing under those robes with handsome slate skin. Go figure, that's jus' me though. ( Whatddya mean I made a personal ref of that?? s w e a t s?? slight warning for some not safies. )

CLAWS / FEET.

personal interpretation of sliske’s rock climbin’ sharp feets here.

Mahjarrat probably do have clawed hands and feet, and they are thick and sharp, along with strong ( most likely calloused for some ) palms and heels for climbing ( possibly before they were so proficient with teleporting ) They are also prime last resort weapons if need be and constantly need filing down on Gielinor and other terrains since they aren't around the rocky outcrops of Freneskae and using them there as much, most Mahjarrat seem to opt to wear gloves anyway. Their legs and arms are also pretty sturdy for climbing despite not needing to do so as much. I’d imagine they might just have longer toe and finger bones for mild gripping abilities when it comes to climbing. I’ve also kinda headcanoned often that they probably might have wrapped parts of their feet in bindings, just to keep things like soft arches or tendon areas save when climbing or walking. Ancient hellplanet fashion, baby.

GEMS.

Just about all Mahjarrat ( and Dreams of Mah in general ) have at least one 'crystal' or 'gemstone' in their brows or crowns ( whoever in the wiki said Sliske doesn't have one is a fraud, just because we don't see it due his V tapered hood doesn't mean it's not there, as it has been shown in several concept arts that he does have two yellow-green or 'peridotite' colored diamonds, like his half-brother’s four of the same color ). When asked about it in the Children of Mah quest, Wahisietel states that even they are not sure as to why they have them but believe it to be a direct connection to Mah. It's also implied that a dead Mahjarrat's 'crystal' often records their last thoughts or actions. Most Mahjarrat have the exact same bright iris color as their stones ( the concept art with Sliske having gold eyes throws me off, but I'd imagine there could be some minor color differences ). It seems that gemstones look-alike from siblings and offspring, as Sliske and his half-brother Wahisietel have almost the same colored crystal and shape despite Wahisietel having four diamonds to Sliske's two.

 ORGANS? OR LACK THEREOF? 

personal interpretation of nasty snake man blood here.

It's truly unknown as to just how many organs Mahjarrat have and if there is any comparison to be made to humans. It can be hypothesized they do have at least a heart ( With more chambers than a humans? Or two! Who knows! ) and lungs. If they do have lungs, it could be stated that they are very strong and made to filter out the heavy ash and debris of Freneskae's poor air quality, our adventurer had enough trouble breathing on Freneskae if you didn't take face gear. They do not seem to have a digestive tract as they do not need sustenance or hydration and perhaps have a makeshift stomach that leads nowhere as if they do eat anything, they just have to regurgitate it. Onto blood, they possibly do have a circulatory system and blood, as Lucien states he didn't 'want to spill any more Mahjarrat blood'. Normal human blood would be a bit boring so I like to imagine they have thick, dark-colored blood that has some iridescent properties to it ( not glittery, but if you have ever seen what the ink in a ballpoint pen looks like when dumped out, it has a particular shine to it. ) and never seems to be just one color, like an oil slick. Probably because it's so rich in arcane properties which would also make it pretty toxic, bitter, or awfully sickly sweet. This also means that they would blush pretty dark in color and have dark-colored tongues and etc. rather than red like humans, that's.... kinda cute.  Also, if we are talking about organs and parts, a small blurb, no, female Mahjarrat do not have boobs. There's no need since they probably do not feed their young at all. So breaking canon for the sake of biology, hi, Mahjarrat probably don't have boobs or nips. Kinda doesn’t make sense. SHRUG. But they do have belly buttons, so maybe they are gestated with umbilical cords.

THE BANE OF THE JMOD’S EXISTENCE: MAHJARRAT REPRODUCTION

Y'all wanted it Jmods yell when we ask for it, here it is: my reproduction hypothesis. We have little to no real canon lore for Mahjarrat other than that they do(?) reproduce sexually, it takes a lot of energy to do so (abt 50% physical effort, 50% the pair pooling their life energy into the event, kinda dangerous), and that they are culturally fond of breeding during earthquakes ( this was just a cultural tradition and it's probably possible to breed outside of this tradition, the jokes say it’s almost Pavlovian ). They have a specific ritual for breeding, The Ritual of Enervation. The Enervation is the foil of a Ritual of Rejuvenation where one of their kind is sacrificed to provide all others with energy and return them from their lich-like states to fleshy filled out ones, the Enervation is a pilgrimage to select a mate and breed to create a new Mahjarrat between a pair. It's slightly hinted that the pair chooses their mate based upon battle prowess or cunningness ( Zemouregal Senior chose his mate based on her skills in battle ) . Much like real animals today, they want only the strongest genetics and mutations to continue on. All of them fight each other for their pick of a mate. Very rarely do the pairs have any emotional attachment, this is rare. And the ritual still isn't pretty; I'll say it, they are rough lovers. Expect biting, scratching, bruising, and more. Kinky. Let me tell you, human genitalia are boring as hell when you are describing aliens. Phallic genitalia differs a lot from individual to individual, it's a slight 'grab bag to see what part works best for future genetics'. Mahjarrat bits are pretty internal until aroused since it makes no sense for them to be external seeing as all Mahjarrat lose a lot of skin and muscle to atrophy as they age and lose energy, so they'd do better internally and tucked away. Vaginal genitalia differs heavily as well, anything goes. Barbs? Sure. Flowery looking bits? Sure. It's aliens, guys. Go wild. Same thing with sexualities and genders, other than what they want to present themselves as, we don't know shit, so go for it. I'm fairly sure Mahjarrat really don't mind gender identity and anything goes, they see power, survival, and fighting over everything else. Sliske, of course, is male presenting and yes, has his own unique bits. Uh, ridges, bifurcated tip, fan-like appendage for preventing backflow. I'd describe more but I'm already pRETTY FUCKING SHY RIGHT NOW BC I DON'T KNOW HOW TO talk much abt this. I'm a beginner alien fucker. Give me a break. UPDATE: I went there, I no longer have shame. bc I roughly drew it.

I’m not sure what the good estimate would be when it comes to how long a Mahjarrat gestates, is it longer than a human? Quicker due to magic? We just don’t know. The birth rate is exceedingly low due to the dangers and strain of Freneskae, it's not unheard of for miscarriages or mothers to pass away from lack of energy or during the fray of the constant other tribes attacking each other. Generally, it's a duty to protect a gravid mother of the sake of population, mate or not. Putting aside your disdain for your nemesis was hard but needed if you wanted to keep your tribe thriving. Fathers don't tend to stick around after the ritual other than to check in to protect their child and future genetics as insurance. Mothers rear children and if they could get along and not spat at one another, often looked after each other's children. Maternal groups were pretty common and one could leave another to watch their kids while they went off on their duties of making lightning rods, scouting, and more. 

MISC? 

Mahjarrats don't exactly have the same bonds as humans and familial life was harsh, mainly due to the stress of knowing your own blood one day might betray you and vote you off to be the sacrifice at a ritual. They are not affectionate as much as humans and care in their own backwards way about each other if they are family, but it's an arm's length approach. Sliske and Wahisietel seem to get along and still probably have their ferocious verbal quarrels and have possibly even physically scuffled a bit over things, but managed to have concern for one another, as do Mahjarrat who are as best a definition of 'friends' can be to them. Remember that they are very paranoid of one another and usually only see eye to eye if in the same political faction or having to make a deal or coerce one another to stand up for you if you are challenged at a ritual ( later on this became a huge political agenda between the two main sides; Zamorakian or Zarosian and fighting intensified at dislike for each other ). As they evolved from their creation, they just generally became more and more mistrustful of each other to point of paranoia. So affection is incredibly weird to them and the first thought that comes from it is 'what do you want and why?' and it's expected to be a deceitful notion. Hence, Sliske is incredibly good at persuading others and using deceitful action to lure people but the moment it's done to him, he'll play along but consider it warily as false notions. Sorry not sorry, that's pretty habitual to him and will stay with him, as well as his kin. You're never going to have a 'stable relationship' with any Mahjarrat. Well, not 100% at least. You can try, they might even appreciate it if they aren’t offended.

That’s about all I wanted to say and anything left out of this word spew can be covered in other posts. Like culture.... or babbies. I have a lot to say about Babjarrats but no place right now to keep up this long shit.  UPDATE: i talked abt my thoughts on babjarrats. it was the best of my life.

[pickleandthequeen]

24

Opinion on horse racing?

I am split on this issue; I do not think the act of horse racing is in and of itself unethical or cruel, but I do believe that there are too many horses being bred each year - American Pharoah alone is projected to sire 100-120 foals per year until retirement….a good 17+ years from now(1). That is about 2,040 foals by American Pharoah alone in the next 17 years. We’ll probably only remember the names of a handful of them. Most of them will not be American Pharoah’s! Let’s not pick on American Pharoah though, because I don’t have a problem breeding him; he’s successful, he’s sound. Everyone wants a piece of American Pharoah.

I’m looking for numbers in standardbred racing (I don’t have the energy to look for other breeds, I’m focusing on the racing breeds with which I have experience, which are SBs and TBs) for average number of covers/foals top money SB stallions sire a year, but the closest I’ve found was “Muscle Hill dominates sale with 52 yearlings!” which, while great for Muscle Hill, he’s GORGEOUS and I want one of his babies, especially if I could get one that also had Striking Sahbra in it too…idk if such a horse exists but I want one haha. Anyway. Great for Muscle Hill, but I’m sure he sires more than 52 a year, especially since he’s apparently in high demand based on his prices. 

In the 2016 Triple Crown, there was some statistic stated like, “out of the thousands of horses bred each year, here are best of them!” And it’s like… There are ELEVEN - TWENTY horses on that track. Now, 20 sounds like a lot…. 

I think it was 20, then 13, then 11 in the last of the TC. So….those are your odds for having a History Making TB horse. You can make money without winning the Triple Crown or the Breeders’ Cups or Hambletonian’s, sure. Within the racing world, you can be well-known without winning those things, sure. There are plenty of good breeders and trainers that preserve the soundness of their horses, and that’s great, but there are too many who don’t. 

Honestly, what gets me more than anything else is how many former racers end up in shitty situations after their track time is spent. Often, it’s not immediately after; some tracks apparently have ramifications for owners/trainers whose end up in danger immediately after “retirement” but it can be hard to prove. There have been cases where thoroughbreds(2) have been dumped in the Everglades after they’re done racing, which horrible - it also should be noted that there are QHs, Minis, and other horses that turn up in the Everglades too(3) - HORSE ABUSE IS NOT JUST A RACING ISSUE!! Horse abuse happens in, unfortunately, EVERY horse industry. 

I think reforms need to be made in the HORSE Industry, not just the Racing Industry. 

TL,DR: 

I’m not against racing and actually want to drive standardbreds in races so I’m REALLY not against it haha but I think we need to make sure the horses don’t end up in bad situations after they’re done. 

Sources1. http://www.whas11.com/sports/horses/american-pharoah-nears-100-pregnant-mares-with-his-foals-since-retirement/165401330 - quote from AP’s manager2. http://offtrackthoroughbreds.com/2016/10/03/partly-blind-everglades-horse-wins-big-honor/3. http://www.spca-sofla.org/11-rescued-from-grisly-illegal-slaughter-in-east-everglades/

[lilahharlow]

( FREYA MAVOR , FEMALE, SHE/HER ) I, LILAH HARLOW am a LEGACY student and would hereby like to submit my application to Kingswood Boarding School. I am SEVENTEEN years old and will be a JUNIOR. I would describe myself as DRIVEN and RESILIENT, but also VAIN and UNRELENTING which I plan to work on during my time here. This is my request to join the ELIZABETH building as a house MEMBER and look forward to hearing back from you. 

hi lmao u thought u saw the last of me?? sike bitch!! u thought !! (none of u r bitches i love u all <3 <3 <3) anyway here’s lilah she’s a bitch and i love her

TW; ALCOHOLISM, DEATH, ABUSE KIND OF ??

born to eleanor and anthony harlow; both legacies down lines of legacies

eleanor was originally eleanor du pont, from a family of old money that found fortune through gunpowder manufacturing and whatnot

eleanor’s father has been involved in breeding and racing thoroughbred horses and establishing several racehorse venues; like many in the family

eleanor found that life boring, and sought out fame on the west coast

quickly became tv’s sweetheart due to her lovable and soft characters in several tv shows; including a then-popular sitcom

eleanor retired after becoming pregnant with her first child, but still remained in public eye due to her career and her family--would still do interviews and photo shoots to remain relevant

anthony’s father owns the law firm harlow & harlow with anthony’s older brother after anthony’s father’s father’s passing

the firm works only with significant figures in society and they’re well known for winning cases--regardless of whether they’re on the morally right side or not

anthony himself took a different path and became a renowned neurosurgeon in the US, considered an expert on the brain and spine

his younger brother is heavily involved in the FBI, though nobody is sure of his position

they had met briefly during kingswood, anthony a senior and eleanor a freshmen--it wasn’t until she moved to california that they met again many years later, anthony only in town for a medical convention

they had fallen in love fairly quickly, and it hadn’t taken long for them to marry. super cliche shit; when anthony went back across to the west coast, eleanor followed

they moved to pennsylvania due to how many members of eleanor’s family resided there

eleanor officially retired from acting when she was pregnant with rhys, their only son and eldest child. a year after that, lilah followed suit. another year, and laurel was born.

they were a typical american family, anthony was constantly at work and so eleanor took care of the children with the assistance of a few nannies

lilah was always an especially bratty child--almost entirely always impossible to please; she found fault in everything and always wanted things to go her way

her sister took after lilah and developed almost the same entire personality, though there was a sweetness to laurel and lilah simply did not possess. rhys was the tamest out of the bunch, but simply because he never gave a shit

when the children were all too much, eleanor and the nannies sort of just...left them to their own? they resided in an old victorian-esque mansion with a backyard leading into the forest; almost fairy-tale like

lilah often found herself in the forest, playing snow white on her own because rhys always refused (he enjoyed hitting things with sticks) and laurel only wanted to pick flowers and stay close to the house

when lilah was seven things took a turn for the worse

anthony had cheated on eleanor with a nurse six years prior, and the past had come back to haunt him.

it was soon revealed, after an unfortunate accident involving the other woman, that she had left behind a child whose father was listed as the one n only anthony harlow

he took the child, a girl named ramona, in. she was laurel’s age, with only a few months difference

this broke eleanor--she was heartbroken, but remained married to anthony for the sake of the children.

never treated ramona as her own, and lilah took after her mother (and her brother--who also was incredibly against the idea of having another sister); becoming relentlessly mean to the younger girl

eleanor began to drink herself away to deal with the misfortunes that had struck her, which only worsened her temper (which was...only directed towards ramona)

it was during these years that lilah went from a normal nightmare child at both school and home--to an extreme nightmare child. she took things when she wanted, stopped listening to adults, normal child-acting-out things.

around the same time that it was all happening, lilah found herself running through the woods more often--simply to get away from the drama of it all

most of the time she was always alone; nobody roamed the forest, despite several other homes having the same backyard situation as hers

‘course, one particular day, lilah found that she wasn’t alone

she ran across a boy of similar age, who had gotten his foot stuck in a rabbit hole. when asked his name, he called himself ‘fox’ and that was all. this, to a young child, was perfectly acceptable and lilah deemed herself as ‘sparrow’--unsure as to if his name was really fox, or if he was making it up

after freeing him from the hole, they soon deemed themselves best friends for life.

they played princess and knight until the sun set, then they’d part ways until the next day

these adventures became lilah’s safe haven--even as she got older, and meaner--fox was one of the few people who she showed kindness towards. part of it was because of the mystery of the boy, and part of it was because lilah was, well, lonely. 

feared at school, the kids who were her friends were only her friends because they were scared of her. or they were her sister, who didn’t really count

despite her popularity status, lilah hated school. words never formed correctly on the paper, and she struggled immensely with reading, though she tried her best to hide it

the only subject she enjoyed was art, tbh

rhys also acted out a tons and got into a bad crowd of boys; they would terrorize the younger kids and vandalize mailboxes. y’know, just little baby crooks in the making

eleanor stopped taking care of the kids, she often locked herself away in the bedroom, leaving the nannies to care for the children when needed

lilah never saw her mother, only heard her; breaking glasses or falling down in the halls late at night, or a shout towards ramona

laurel and ramona soon got closer, the more lilah pushed her family away by playing fantasy in the woods, and by the time their mother died--laurel didn’t want much to do with lilah or rhys

eleanor died when rhys was 13, lilah 12, laurel and ramona 11

her body couldn’t handle it anymore; anthony found her body, sprawled across their kingsized bed with a shattered wine glass and pearls scattered around the sheets. romantically gruesome.

the funeral was filled with distant relatives that all mourned eleanor, as if they had been crucial parts of her life--though perhaps they had been, lilah never knew much of her mother’s side of the family. there were old costars, neighbors, family friends, and a distinct closing of lilah’s throat at the stuffiness of it all. the air stank of death and roses.

she had left early, finding herself in the woods once more.

and there was fox, as he always was. it was the only time lilah had ever felt secure.

but, soon after the funeral, anthony decided to pack up and move the family out of the state. there were only bad memories in pennsylvania, so they moved to massachusetts.

lilah never got to say goodbye to fox. it is one of her few regrets

and a few months after that, rhys began attending kingswood to wreck havoc there instead

(he got into some shit, but always talked his way out of it; always a troublemaker yet somehow made his way into edward house his junior year. probably for the drugs he sells. is currently a senior)

lilah herself remained a devil in school, distracting herself through several sports and her one drawing class and avoiding her sisters.

the year after, she began to attend kingswood as well

the year after that, laurel and ramona also began attending

lilah is currently in her junior year and not much as changed.

she’s an incredibly cold girl, extremely elitist

often refuses to associate herself with those she considers ‘lesser’ than her; scholarship kids, kids from ‘lower’ houses, underclassmen, the whole ordeal

has learned how to manipulate others to get what she wants; usually includes making the other feel special and think they’re different from the others when they’re painfully...not. 

all she really has to do is bat her eyelashes

is big on sports and has joined several; has an extreme interest in anatomy and all her drawings/sketches are based on people--hopes to become a surgeon of sorts, funnily enough

still fucking hates english and history and anything else she can’t understand; dyslexia is a bitch

kind to her friends and would defend them with her life; is the kind of bitch who’ll get into petty cat fights if she overhears somebody talking shit about them

at the same time, she loves spreading rumors and gossiping about literally anybody else

it’s ... a good thing, to be her friend. she’s endlessly loyal, even if she has odd ways of showing it

she’s rude and mouthy--has no problem saying awful things; whether they’re rude, mean, or morbid. has definitely made the freshmen cry multiple times.

refuses to associate herself with her sisters and barely talks to her brother; thinks they abandoned her when family is supposed to be forever

really doesn’t trust anybody but herself; even if she does love her friends, she’s not exactly known for letting her emotions be known

literally she’s just a typical rich mean girl, like, if she doesn’t like you then she’ll just be relentlessly rude.

definitely sleeps around, though, and is unashamed of it. is overly confident in herself and her looks , and her . . . abilities

simply does not give a fuck about anything that doesn’t involve her, and will talk her way out of situations she doesn’t want to be in

has recently been in contact with her mom’s side of the family, sucking up to them and whatnot

wanted connections; yes i’m lazy please excuse me

best friend - the only person who can really break through to lilah, not that they really want to. same mindsets and same values.

other close friends - lilah made it a point her freshmen yr to befriend only the best of the best bc she knows what she wants out of life and it’s being untouchable

friends who like...think theyre friends but lilah is kind of like lol sike

ex-boyfriends - she broke their heart, they broke her heart, yadda yadda

ex-hook-ups

current hook-ups

ex-friends

enemies

her tutor lmao

roommate

her childhood friend !!! uwu

‘first love’ but lol is she capable of love

teammates

etc etc etc

[throneofglassravingsandreviews]

My new favorite pairing is Ansel of Briarcliff x Celaena Sardothien

Whether or not you perceive their interactions to be romantic, there’s no denying the chemistry between these two. 

Not to mention that Ansel later tried to bail Celaena out of Endovier, and also returned in EoS to lend aid to the new Queen of Terrasen. 

I’m just going to dump all of their cutest moments below, along with my annoying commentary:

Nearby, a young woman watched her, and she flashed Celaena a conspirator’s grin. Celaena tried not to look too interested, though the girl was one of the most stunning people she’d ever beheld.

(Hm...I see u, Celaena)

***

On anyone else, the armor might have looked flamboyant and ridiculous, but on the girl...There was a strange, boyish sort of carelessness to her.

(It’s cuz Ansel radiates lesbian energy)

***

When there was nothing but the muffled moaning of the injured assassins and the crackling of the wall of fire, Celaena dared to look at Ansel. The girl’s eyes were bright. “Well,” Ansel breathed, “wasn’t that fun?” Celaena grinned, her heart racing. “Yes.” 

***

The entire horse stealing & chase scene. Then THIS:

Breathing hard, Celaena didn’t say anything as she punched Ansel so hard in the face that the girl went flying off her horse and tumbled onto the sand.  Ansel just clutched her jaw and laughed.

(Celaena finally finds someone who is crazier and more adventurous than she is, and honestly this made me so giddy)

***

The entire scene in the desert where they are lying next to each other, looking at the stars, talking about constellations, and talking about their lost homes. That was so tender and soft and emotionally wrenching. If the same scene had occurred between a boy and a girl, everyone would think it was romantic af. 

Ansel slowly turned to look at her, her eyes lined with silver. She traced Celaena’s cheekbone, where the bruises had once been. “Where do men find it in themselves to do such monstrous things? How do they find it acceptable?”

“We’ll make them pay for it in the end,” Celaena grasped Ansel’s hand. The girl squeezed back hard. “We’ll see to it that they pay.” 

(NOW KISS)

***

Well, she’d never had a female friend - never really had any friends - and somehow, the thought of returning to Rifthold without Ansel was a tad unbearable.

(I feel ya, Celaena. I wouldn’t want to part from Ansel either...)

***

The fact that Ansel chose to send Celaena away during the invasion, to save Celaena’s life alone despite only knowing her for a month. Ansel even killed her lover Mikhail, despite knowing him for 5 years and having sex with him two nights before. 

***

THE ENTIRE FKING CONFRONTATION SCENE WHERE CELAENA STOPS ANSEL FROM KILLING THE MASTER

***

Ansel’s breathing was ragged. “You could come with me.” She brushed back a strand of Celaena’s hair. “The two of us alone could conquer the Flatlands - and with Lord Berick’s troops...” Her hand grazed Celaena’s cheek, and Celaena tried not to recoil at the touch and at the words that came out of Ansel’s mouth. “I would make you my right hand. We’d take the Flatland’s back.” 

(This is some Anakin Skywalker x Padme level “Come away with me” / “You and I can rule the galaxy” romantic shit)

***

“I didn’t want it to end this way between us. I didn’t want you to be a part of this.”

(Find me at the bottom of a ditch)

***

Celaena couldn’t stop her lips from trembling as she asked, “Was it ever real?”

Ansel opened one eye, staring at the far wall. “There were some moments when it was. The moment I sent you away, it was real.”

Celaena reigned in a sob and took a long, steadying breath. Slowly, she lifted the sword from Ansel’s neck - only a fraction of an inch. 

(”WAS IT EVER REAL”????? FUCK ME UP)

***

Celaena turned the blade and handed it hilt-first to Ansel. The girl’s eyes were damp as she took the sword. She opened her mouth, but Celaena cut her off. “Go home, Ansel.” 

***

In the silence of the fortress, the bowstring twanged like a mournful harp.

Celaena lowered her bow and watched until Ansel disappeared beyond the horizon. One arrow, that had been her promise. 

But she’d also promised Ansel that she had twenty minutes to get out of range.  

Celaena had fired after twenty-one.

***

“For what it’s worth, Celaena,” he rasped. “I believe you were the closest thing to a friend Ansel has ever allowed herself to have. And I think she sent you away because she truly cared for your.”

She hated her mouth for wobbling. “That doesn’t make it hurt any less.”

“I didn’t think it would. But I think you will leave a lasting imprint on Ansel’s heart. You spared her life, and returned her father’s sword. She will not soon forget that. And maybe when she makes her next move to reclaim her title, she will remember the assassin from the North and the kindness you showed her, and try to leave fewer bodies in her wake.” 

I don’t have any commentary for the last three, because TBH NO WORDS DO IT JUSTICE. I’m just so happy to see Ansel back in EoS. Ready for her to kick ass in KoA

[joannalannister]

Daenerys Targaryen & JFK

“...let both sides join in creating a new endeavor, not a new balance of power, but a new world of law, where the strong are just and the weak secure and the peace preserved. 

“All this will not be finished in the first one hundred days. Nor will it be finished in the first one thousand days, nor in the life of this Administration, nor even perhaps in our lifetime on this planet. But let us begin.”       --President Kennedy's Inaugural Address, January 20, 1961

“Shall we begin?”      --Daenerys Targaryen, Game of Thrones 7x01

This post was inspired by a Dany quote from the show, but imma do what I usually do with the show, which is project my book!feelings all over it. This post is not intended to be a commentary about the show**, it’s about the books.

**There is one other Dany quote from the show that I intend to comment on below, but only because I feel it ties into the above JFK quote, in terms of ASOIAF themes and Dany’s book!characterization.

I’ve been thinking about this since the summer, when I first saw show!Dany trailing her hand lovingly over the Painted Table, over the hills and valleys, the rivers and mountains, places she’d heard about her whole life. A quote from A Game of Thrones was playing over that scene in my mind:

Somewhere beyond the sunset, across the narrow sea, lay a land of green hills and flowered plains and great rushing rivers, where towers of dark stone rose amidst magnificent blue-grey mountains, and armored knights rode to battle beneath the banners of their lords. 

And when Dany went to stand at the head of that table, it was one of the only times in season 7 where I felt I caught a glimpse of things to come in the books. A pale shadow of GRRM’s Westeros, to be sure, but I could see it. 

Tiny, slender 16-year-old Daenerys, her hair shining like molten silver in the gloom of the Stone Drum. Daenerys, standing where Aegon the Conqueror had once stood, at the head of a great painted table stretching away from her into darkness, as a great Night falls over the continent. And this table! A table -- a map of Westeros -- so large that, if stood upright, it would be over five stories high. GRRM’s Westeros has such grandeur, “like in the great stories [...]. The ones that really mattered.”

(Like, I don’t think Dany would be in that special seat where Dragonstone is located on the map, I think GRRM would deliberately put her at the head of the table, beyond the Wall, foreshadowing her true destination.)

I have no idea what wondrous and highly quotable things GRRM would have Dany say and think while standing there. But that question show!Dany asked -- “Shall we begin?” -- that question captured the essence of it for me. 

And you’re all gonna think I’m lame, but my mind jumped to President John F. Kennedy’s Inaugural Address, to that similar line, “let us begin.” And no, I don’t claim the showrunners intended this parallel between Dany and JFK, and tbh I don’t care what they intended, but I feel like it’s an apt comparison when talking about GRRM’s Dany. 

(GRRM has spoken very highly of the Kennedys, saying on his livejournal: “They were men like any other, not plaster saints, and had their share of failures and mistakes. But they fought the good fight, and left the world a better place than they found it, and no more can be asked of any man.)

I see Dany as a dark horse in the race for the Iron Throne, similar to JFK’s unexpected win in 1960. More importantly, though, I see Daenerys as a reformer, as someone young and vibrant who wants to shake up the Old Guard and change the world. 

And like, I’ve said this before, but Westeros is currently without justice, without peace, without the rule of law. It’s a place where the Lannisters can enact a dwarf genocide with no one to stop them. Where no one speaks for the smallfolk, where families’ ancestral homes can be seized and sacked, where murder goes unpunished, where a Mengele-esque mad scientist runs free. 

And those are the kinds of things that Dany stands against:

“Justice . . . that's what kings are for." --Daenerys, ASOS

She values “peace, prosperity, and justice” while a lot of the people in charge of Westeros right now value vengeance. And sure, Dany obviously doesn’t always get these things right every time, and she makes mistakes, but she’s fighting to make the world a better place.

Daenerys cares about people. When most nobles in Westeros feel little or nothing for people of low birth, Dany raises the lowborn up and gives them a place at her side and on her councils. Think of Missandei, Grey Worm, her handmaids. 

Dany’s outlook is more radical imo than Arya befriending prostitutes, or Stannis raising Davos to a lordship -- which are both good and admirable acts -- because Dany goes further. Dany wants to get rid of this whole system that grinds the lowborn to dust under the indifferent heel of the mighty. Just consider how GRRM wrote Dany’s attitude toward the tokar: “It was not a garment meant for any man who had to work. The tokar was a master’s garment, a sign of wealth and power. Dany had wanted to ban [it.]” 

She wants to bring change. She wants to stop the abuse of power, and help people. 

It’s as if Westeros and Essos both have already been under a Long Night of dehumanization, one created not by the Others, but simply by other people. And when Daenerys takes that torch from her bloodrider’s hand and lights the pyre that night in AGOT, she’s lighting the world on fire. 

And it’s a good fire, my friends. It’s this kind of fire, the kind that gets passed around, and that makes your heart swell to see it:

It’s the kind of fire that rallies people to Daenerys like iron to a lodestone, and it’s what makes cynical people disparage Dany as a “Mary Sue” (whatever that is) when she gains followers. It’s the kind of fire that makes the Widow of the Waterfront dare to dream. It’s the kind of fire that gives Tyrion purpose and direction in the darkest depths of his depression. It’s a fire of hope: “...and for the first time in hundreds of years, the night came alive with the music of dragons.”

Daenerys was the first spark in the forging of a brighter world. 

Light it up, girl.

(And while we’re talking about lighting fires, just FYI, I really fuckin’ hope Dany burns Randyll Tarly in TWOW, because he is a horrible person who represents everything that is wrong with the current Westerosi system. In GRRM’s early novel, Armageddon Rag, there is literally the prototype of Randyll Tarly, who GRRM describes on the page as a “fascist pig”. Burn him, Dany. And somebody necromance Tywin so she can burn him too, because only one death wasn’t enough for that bastard.) 

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So when I heard “Shall we begin?,” Kennedy’s words echoed in my mind. “Let us begin.” Let us have “a new world of law, where the strong are just and the weak secure and the peace preserved.” 

“Why do the gods make kings and queens, if not to protect the ones who can't protect themselves?" --Daenerys, ASOS

“Peace is my desire.“ --Daenerys, ADWD

Kennedy considered “tyranny, poverty, disease, and war itself” to be the “common enemies of man” and it’s these things that Dany is fighting against. It’s this type of stuff that ASOIAF is all about imo. (It fascinates me to consider things like the pale mare in the context of this speech that GRRM grew up with.) 

But unlike Kennedy’s, Dany’s words were a question. An invitation, the way ASOIAF is an invitation: 

A Song of Ice and Fire [rubs] our faces in the reactionary brutality of its world, in the hope that we’ll see it more clearly, and fight it more fiercely, in the world we see when we look up again. [x]

I think I’ve said this before, but ASOIAF is the kind of work that requests audience participation. It doesn’t want you to remain passive. “Rage,” it commands, “rage against the dying of the light.” 

So I loved those three little words. Dany looks straight at the camera, straight at us, and she asks us, “Shall we begin?” 

“...let both sides join in creating a new endeavor, not a new balance of power, but a new world of law, where the strong are just and the weak secure and the peace preserved.”

A new endeavor. A new world of law. Not a new balance of power. 

I said up above that Dany wants to get rid of this whole system that grinds the lowborn to dust under the indifferent heel of the mighty. 

She doesn’t want simply a new balance of power. She wants a world of laws, of justice, of peace.

Did you agree with me when I said that stuff above, about book!Daenerys? 

Because Dany says something similar in the show:

“Lannister, Baratheon, Stark, Tyrell, they’re all just spokes on a wheel. This one’s on top, then that one’s on top, and on and on it spins, crushing those on the ground. I’m not going to stop the wheel. I’m going to break the wheel.”

And, like, ok, this is not my favorite show quote, and I don’t like talking about the show, but people use this quote to condemn Dany (even book!Dany) for not wanting to create a democracy or a constitutional monarchy in Westeros (and no one demands a democracy of the other (male) contenders for the Iron Throne). (I have #receipts on this fandom, just send me an ask.) 

Quoting from the book, “Mastering the Game of Thrones” by Battis and Johnston, it gives historical background and analysis to this wheel quote:

If Martin is the god of the text, he is not a benevolent deity seeking to punish evil, reward the good, or console his faithful readers. His characters’ lives are unpredictable, violent, and often brief, and beloved figures quickly fall from happiness and security to suffer betrayal, maiming, illness, and death. In the middle ages and Renaissance, such downfalls were often subscribed to Fortuna, whose wheel pulled men up to success and tossed them down again in failure. Fortune, like Providence, is a guiding force whose motion is inevitable. Her effects, however, were unpredictable; how quickly her wheel might turn or how high or low it threw those caught on it could not be foreseen. Unlike providence, Fortune does not seek to punish ill or reward good; her only motivation is movement, her only constant change itself.

In both the books and the show, Daenerys wants to punish wrongdoers and reward good. She wants justice. Justice is not compatible with this concept of Fortune’s Wheel, hence the “breaking the wheel” line on the show. The “wheel” speech is where she literally says on the show that she doesn’t want the little people crushed by the nobility’s political machinations. (It’s reminiscent of Varys’s line, “Why is it always the innocents who suffer most, when you high lords play your game of thrones?”)

Dany doesn’t want people to live merely at the whim of a tyrannical ruler. That’s no way for people to live, always uncertain whether or not they have the royal favor of the person currently at the top of the “wheel”, like when Cersei throws Falyse to Qyburn, who experiments on Falyse and murders her. 

Or like when Cersei approves of people bringing her the heads of people with dwarfism. 

Or when the Tyrells, while clawing their way to the top, throw Sansa and Tyrion under the bus. 

These are the types of things that Dany wants to stop (“break”), because life is not a zero-sum game, no matter how much Cersei would like us all to believe that “you win or you die” is the way the world works. Absolutist views like Cersei’s, where you’re either on top of the world or crushed underneath it, leave no room for the kindness and compassion and love that GRRM advocates in every chapter. That’s why people like Cersei are wrong, and why Dany will cast her down in the books. 

The entire time, books and show, the Dany I’ve seen and read wants to change how the world works, and create something bold and revolutionary. 

“All this will not be finished in the first one hundred days. Nor will it be finished in the first one thousand days, nor in the life of this Administration, nor even perhaps in our lifetime on this planet. But let us begin.”

This was the other reason that Dany’s “Shall we begin?” jumped out at me, because I knew what came before JFK’s “let us begin” in his speech, and I knew what came after in 1963.

In all the GRRM books and stories I’ve read, he has this tendency to leave a lot of things unfinished. Not in the sense that TWOW is currently unfinished as of January 2018, but in the sense that ... the worlds he creates go on without us, and often without the characters we love. There are things left undone at the end GRRM’s stories. 

Because, like, obviously I don’t know how ASOIAF is going to end, but I strongly believe that Dany sacrifices herself to save the world. (Like a president dying while serving his country?)

“All this will not be finished [...] But let us begin.”

For example, I get the sense that we’ll never see things all neatly wrapped up in Meereen, or see slavery completely gone from Essos. But Dany set it all in motion. Let us begin. She was the spark, and it’s now up to the people of Volantis, Lys, Myr, everywhere to fan the flames and keep them alive, even after Dany is gone. 

I was saying this in another post, that there’s a Romanticism to Dany, and in a way that’s similar to the Romantic-capital-R fairy tale attached to Kennedy and the “Camelot Era”. I’m just gonna quote myself (and Steven again) cuz I liked what I said the first time:

[...] “Coming out of the tradition of chivalric romance - where the point was about the purity and intensity of longing *from afar* not its consummation, which threatened the social order and had to be punished with a tragic end - a lot of the classic romances are cases of “star-crossed” love”. Steven cites classic examples of Guinevere and Lancelot, Tritan and Isolde, and Romeo and Juliet. Dare I add Dany and Westeros? The intense longing from afar, the threats to the social order, what I suspect will be a tragic end?

[...] I believe Dany would give everything for the people of Westeros, for the people of the world, that she would forsake her heart’s desire, her lifelong goal … that she would tear out her own heart for Westeros, and not expect to get it back, if only to keep her people safe … 

[post]

“...and it has been saved, but not for me.”

And after Dany dies -- if Dany dies -- it’ll be up to other people to pick up the pieces of Westeros and rebuild. But I don’t think Reconstruction is something we’ll ever see in Westeros. Like I said, GRRM tends to let his stories go on without us. 

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Dany reminds me of the heroes in the big fantasy stories: Frodo from LOTR, or King Arthur from The Once and Future King (who Jackie Kennedy was arguably trying to build JFK’s legacy around with the “Camelot” comparison -- and I believe GRRM was a T.H. White fan? But I don’t remember where I read that), etc. Anyways. The Fantasy Hero often leaves us in the end, and it becomes time to stand or fall on our own as we turn the last page. 

But that’s what I think some of the best Fantasy stories are about: teaching us to stand. To hold. 

“I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going, because they were holding on to something. That there is some good in this world, and it's worth fighting for.“      --The Lord of the Rings movies

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wow ok that was a long post, sorry. idk man. those three words just gave me a lot of feelings. I’m sorta afraid now what TWOW’s gonna do to me because I think it’s gonna be a lot longer than just three words

im not gonna go back up to the top and read over this mind dump so i hope that made sense.

[bitchfromtheseventhhell]

Hi! This might sound a little silly, but I've been seeing a lot of gifsets about Ned's quote about Sansa and Arya being as different as the son and the moon and in them Sansa's the sun and Arya's the moon. I understand the aesthetic reason for the sorting, but I was wondering if there was a meta reason for it. I think both of their arcs could have the traditional sun and the moon parallels. Your thoughts?

I also got this anon within about 24 hours of your ask (was there a wank I was blissfully unaware of?):

Hey, I really love your thoughts on the stark sisters. This might be a silly ask, but who do you think reflects the moon better and who the sun? I know Ned’s words were more metaphoric than literal, but I always see edits with one sister being the sun and the other the moon, which always vary on which one is which. I can never decide. Do you have a preference?

Before I get into this, I… don’t really have a horse in this race tbh, largely because I think that focusing on the imagery in that line is missing the point of what Ned is saying.  He’s not necessarily saying “one of you is the sun and one of you is the moon,” he’s saying “you are as different as” so I think of it more as a poetic turn of phrase more than anything else.

But since you’re asking here are longer thoughts on the matter, the ones I do have go into symbolism as it appears for Sansa and Arya respectively.

The Quote Itself + Context

“Let me tell you something about wolves, child. When the snows fall and the white winds blow, the lone wolf dies, but the pack survives. Summer is the time for squabbles. In winter, we must protect one another, keep each other warm, share our strengths. So if you must hate, Arya, hate those who would truly do us harm. Septa Mordane is a good woman, and Sansa … Sansa is your sister. You may be as different as the sun and the moon, but the same blood flows through both your hearts. You need her, as she needs you … and I need both of you, gods help me.”

He sounded so tired that it made Arya sad. “I don’t hate Sansa,” she told him. “Not truly.” It was only half a lie. (Arya II, AGOT)

The first time that the reader ever encounters this quote about Arya and Sansa, there’s some very specific context going on.  

It occurs in Arya’s second POV chapter in the series, and it’s said by Ned to Arya.  It’s not simply a descriptor, it’s a way to try and get Arya to not be angry with her sister.

Arya is angry with her sister.  But, more importantly, Arya is upset with her sister:

“I don’t care about their stupid tourney,” Arya said. She knew Prince Joffrey would be there,and she hated Prince Joffrey.

Sansa lifted her head. “It will be a splendid event. You shan’t be wanted.”

Anger flashed across Father’s face. “Enough, Sansa. More of that and you will change mymind. I am weary unto death of this endless war you two are fighting. You are sisters. I expectyou to behave like sisters, is that understood?”

Sansa bit her lip and nodded. Arya lowered her face to stare sullenly at her plate. She could feeltears stinging her eyes. She rubbed them away angrily, determined not to cry. (Arya II, AGOT)

Ned very clearly is frustrated with the way that Sansa speaks to Arya in this moment; that doesn’t prevent Arya from wanting to cry.  As the passage continues:

No one talked to Arya. She didn’t care. She liked it that way. She would have eaten her mealsalone in her bedchamber if they let her. Sometimes they did, when Father had to dine with theking or some lord or the envoys from this place or that place. The rest of the time, they ate in hissolar, just him and her and Sansa. That was when Arya missed her brothers most. She wanted totease Bran and play with baby Rickon and have Robb smile at her. She wanted Jon to muss upher hair and call her “little sister” and finish her sentences with her. But all of them were gone.She had no one left but Sansa, and Sansa wouldn’t even talk to her unless Father made her.  (Arya II, AGOT)

Since they arrived in King’s Landing, Sansa has not spoken to Arya unless Ned makes her.  From Sansa’s perspective, the reason is, ostensibly, that she sees Arya’s actions on the Trident as being the reason that Lady is dead (in a later chapter, she screams at Arya: “They should have killed you instead of Lady!”–she places her pain at Lady’s death on Arya because it is easier than confronting the fact that Joffrey is a complete shit and Sansa–throughout the series–is someone who tells herself what the truth should be in order to make reality easier for her to bear.)

But the result of all this is a sense of ostracism.  Arya doesn’t feel comfortable around anyone, largely because no one–even Ned–understands her grief at Mycah’s death, and her sense of responsability in it.

Only that was Winterfell, a world away, and now everything was changed. This was the firsttime they had supped with the men since arriving in King’s Landing. Arya hated it. She hated thesounds of their voices now, the way they laughed, the stories they told. They’d been her friends,she’d felt safe around them, but now she knew that was a lie. They’d let the queen kill Lady, thatwas horrible enough, but then the Hound found Mycah. Jeyne Poole had told Arya that he’d cuthim up in so many pieces that they’d given him back to the butcher in a bag, and at first the poorman had thought it was a pig they’d slaughtered. And no one had raised a voice or drawn a bladeor anything, not Harwin who always talked so bold, or Alyn who was going to be a knight, orJory who was captain of the guard. Not even her father. (Arya II, AGOT)

So when Arya flees the dining room for her bedroom, and even contemplates running away she is so miserable, her father’s intercession has weight.

The weight of the passage above to me is not even necessarily about the sun and the moon and how different she and Sansa are–when Ned says “when the snows fall and the white winds blow, the lone wolf dies, but the pack survives” in the series–the only time he says them to any of his children–it is to Arya about Sansa.  He is creating in Arya the undeniable truth: that whatever she currently feels about Sansa, whatever their summertime “squabbles” are, Sansa is her pack, whether or not she likes it.  

You may be as different as the sun and the moon, but the same blood flows through both your hearts. You need her, as she needs you … and I need both of you, gods help me. 

And to drive the point home, he says that he needs them both.  

The Sun and the Moon

I feel the context is helpful, largely because of how I think that it fits into greater symbolism in text.  If you have “the sun” and “the moon” as explained here, it’s clearly supposed to evoke some imagery.  (I like the point that @quentynnymerosmartell​ made a while back about how the sun and the moon are the main symbols on Brienne’s sigil, which ties back to her vow to Catelyn.)

There’s a lot of imagery–beyond Arya and Sansa–for it to evoke.  The onset of winter means that there will be less sun in the sky period; if the long night comes again, it means there won’t be any sun at all.  Having both implies a healthy state of the world writ large because you have both light and darkness–not to mention light in darkness.

You may be as different as…

An issue that I think rarely gets talked about in all the #discourse about Arya and Sansa (when there is #discourse about both of them in one go) is that frequently things stop around the “they’re just different” without going into the hows of it.

When it comes to symbolism, parallels, characterization–there are frequent explorations of similar themes but the mechanisms are almost impossible to talk about at the same time because they fundamentally rely on each girl’s approach to the world.

For Sansa, you have a character who approaches the world through narrative.  She thinks in terms of songs and stories that she knows–both as regards the world around her and as she regards herself (“Be brave, she told herself. Be brave, like a lady in a song.”)  She is a society child.  She has been presented with a social infrastructure (Westerosi Patriarchy) and she adheres to it and thrives within it.  She doesn’t question it, but when she encounters things that don’t fit in with what she’s been taught, she will adjust narratives around her to accomodate for the ills in society by redefining societal definitions to meet her needs (“He was no true knight.”)    She has a recurring motif of birds, but what elemental motifs exist in her arc are depicted through societal structures more than they are depicted through nature itself.

Or, to use Bran’s(/Summer’s) words:

But his sister had left the wilds, to walk in the halls of man-rock where other hunters ruled, and once within those halls it was hard to find the path back out. (Bran I, ASOS)

If Sansa “left the wilds,” we have Arya (quoting from this seminal scene) who has a “wildness” in her.  She has “the wolf blood.”  She is the child who society had no place for and so had to carve her own existence out of whatever place she could find.  She fundamentally questions most societal infrastructures and what they are present for and why they are present because she is someone who–even though she holds power on a structural level as a lady and as a princess–is still rejected by society as someone who doesn’t accept the role given her based purely on her gender.

So to me, it’s not just a “sun and moon” opposition, we have going on here, it’s a “society vs wilderness” that we have going on here–and that’s not even touching on things like their respective approach to truth and lies, their coping mechanisms (which are literally! the opposite! of each other’s!) and any number of other contrasts that you have between them.

Society

Let me start this with a point that I’ll come back to: I would argue that the moon is symbolic of nature, of wild, of mystery while the sun is symbolic of society.  I look at this in terms of calendars: there are a number of lunar calendars that exist within our world: among them, there is frequently a leap month added every few years (how many years varies between cultures) in order to keep the calendar in line with the seasons.  The solar calendar exists for the sake of society (when do you harvest, when do the seasons change) while the lunar exists because the moon exists. 

I bring this up because I’m not going to be talking about the sun in any particularly meaningful way.  Maybe I’ll come out of my asoiaf reread with a completely different perspective on this, but I don’t actually think that either sister has particularly pertinent sun imagery attached to her (which I think is part of why we have this question to begin with).  It becomes, then, a question of how the moon appears in both storylines and what the moon symbolizes on a larger scale.  I don’t think the moon represents society, which means that what moon imagery exists in Sansa’s storyline fundamentally challenges her worldview, while also being interwoven with it.  It becomes then, in her case, a question of arguing–not for the sun–but rather arguing that the moon doesn’t quite fit, which I don’t think it does.

The main source of moon imagery in Sansa’s arc stems from House Arryn, whose sigil is is a falcon soaring against the moon.  

The Vale itself has a ton of moon-related infrastructure, probably for this reason:  You have the Gates of the Moon, the Moon Tower, the Moon Door, the Mountains of the Moon.  You have this house–an important one for a lot of Sansa’s identity themes, her relationship with her father and with Petyr Baelish, with her aunt and herself–that has taken the moon and used it as a a supplementary part of the house’s symbolism.  I say supplemental because I compare House Arryn’s sigil to House Martell’s: the sun is more important than the spear in House Martell’s sigil; the falcon is more important than the moon in House Arryn’s.  To me, then, the moon becomes the servant of society, an artful backdrop to the falcon, a piece of nature who has been detached from its nature in order to perform its function.

And so that means that the moon is not so much the moon in Sansa’s storyline so much as the image of the moon.  And I think that that very imagery is threatening to some extent.

You have the Moon Door, which is where Sansa almost lost her life and which, in AFFC, she’s still super stressed thinking about, and you have the Mountains of the Moon–where the Mountain Clans of the Vale have been hoping to use Lannister steel since AGOT to reclaim the Vale from the Andal society that wrested it from the control of the First Men thousands of years ago.  You even have the simple fact of the lie about Sansa’s identity while she is in the Vale, and what might befall her if her identity is revealed in the wrong way.  If you’re looking at symbolism, I see that as the moon challenging Sansa on a symbolic level, because Sansa is a character who operates within society and the moon is not symbolic of society.   

But that means that if I have to pick a “sun” and a “moon,” I don’t think it fits that Sansa is the “moon”: I think it means that she is the sun, and that as winter approaches, as the days get shorter and the nights grow longer, she–and society as Westeros knows it–is going to have to adjust to a long winter and a long night where the main source of light is the moon.

Wild

There’s a lot of meat to moon symbolism.  It is a symbol of womanhood–the lunar cycle frequently used to symbolize the menstrual–not to mention its ties to the tide and water.  But if the sun is symbolic of society and the moon is symbolic of the wild, then “Ah, Arya. You have a wildness in you, child,” lines up evenly.

And it does: there are mentions of the moon in important ways in Arya’s arc.  And, more importantly, it’s not symbols of the moon: it is the moon itself.  Which means that that moon gets to carry the weight of all its own symbolism, without being detached from it through a sigil.  

Arya takes comfort in the moon, even thinks that it is something that she can use as a way to guide her on her journey to wherever she’s going:

She carried neither candle nor taper. Syrio had told her once that darkness could be her friend, and he was right. If she had the moon and the stars to see by, that was enough. (Arya XI, ACOK)

It is associated with her burgeoning magic:

Sleep came as quick as she closed her eyes. She dreamed of wolves that night, stalking through a wet wood with the smell of rain and rot and blood thick in the air. Only they were good smells in the dream, and Arya knew she had nothing to fear. She was strong and swift and fierce, and her pack was all around her, her brothers and her sisters. They ran down a frightened horse together, tore its throat out, and feasted. And when the moon broke through the clouds, she threw back her head and howled. (Arya V, ASOS)

Except in dreams. She took a breath to quiet the howling in her heart, trying to remember more of what she’d dreamt, but most of it had gone already. There had been blood in it, though, and a full moon overhead, and a tree that watched her as she ran. (Mercy, TWOW)

It as used as a timekeeper during her training at the House of Black and White:

Cat would always find the kindly man waiting for her when she went creeping back to the temple on the knoll on the night the moon went black. (Cat of the Canals, AFFC)

When the moon was black she was no one, a servant of the Many-Faced God in a robe of black and white. (Cat of the Canals, AFFC)

On a symbolic level there, you have the simple fact that when there was no moon in the sky, Arya ceases to exist: she is “no one” and not any of her other personas, and given the simple fact of the theme of self effacement in Arya’s arc, I think its’s not wrong to say that the moon in the sky means that Arya is Arya.  And this not even touching the fact of her wolf dreams (her burgeoning magic once again) as a touchstone for her while she’s blind and keeping her from truly sinking in to being “no one.”  The moon becomes just one more part of that theme for Arya, and a part of it that roots her in her own identity.

And, lastly, it is something that is associated with–and which Arya herself associates with the Old Gods of the North:

Shoving her sword through her belt, she slipped down branch to branch until she was back on the ground. The light of the moon painted the limbs of the weirwood silvery white as she made her way toward it, but the five-pointed red leaves turned black by night. Arya stared at the face carved into its trunk. It was a terrible face, its mouth twisted, its eyes flaring and full of hate. Is that what a god looked like? Could gods be hurt, the same as people? I should pray, she thought suddenly. (Arya XI, ACOK)

Except in dreams. She took a breath to quiet the howling in her heart, trying to remember more of what she’d dreamt, but most of it had gone already. There had been blood in it, though, and a full moon overhead, and a tree that watched her as she ran. (Mercy, TWOW) (Again)

The moon isn’t challenging Arya’s worldview, it is part of almost every single piece of symbolism in her arc, and is symbolically attached to her identity, her wildness, her magic, her skills in a way that the moon is not for Sansa.  

Even innate in that moon symbolism in Arya’s arc, you have it existing in opposition to society and thriving.  

So all this is to say…even beyond the optics of it (Sansa having the brighter coloring; Arya having the darker) if forced to, I read the moon as Arya and Sansa as the sun in that comment.  I don’t think that the moon imagery in Sansa’s arc holds a candle to the moon symbolism in Arya’s arc, even if I don’t think that either has any particular emphasis on the sun in their arc.