#i like that Dream was only vulnerable because he was out on an errand; really empasizes how big a fuck up Roger Burgess is

[hyunbunlix]

Ceasefire [hitman!Felix]

Characters: Felix, older fem!OC, Hyunjin (mentioned), Jeongin (mentioned) Rating: A/O for Adults Only Content Warnings/Tags: preexisting polyamory with HyunIn, enemies to lovers, narcotics for pain management, sex while under the influence of narcotics (m), submissive Felix, establishment of safe word, bondage (restrained hands and arms), cunt eating, unprotected penetration, consensual non-consent, raw male orgasm, crying during sex (m), thorough aftercare Word Count: 5,808 Summary: Tired of fighting, Felix follows through on his promise to lay down arms for good. It wasn't his intention to get quite this vulnerable, though... Note: This is part of a larger John Wick AU, which can be found here.

Felix spent three long days at the New York Continental Hotel in a painkiller haze. He did little more than eat, sleep, and bathe, which was fine with him. The narcotics even ensured he didn’t dream, which was great for his already heavy conscience. It had been a long time since he’d well and truly rested.

            When a knock came at his door on the third day, he hauled himself out of bed, feeling slightly disconnected from his body. The only reason he felt confident in knowing this wasn’t a dream was due to their general absence while he was medicated.

            It became a little harder to trust that, though, when he saw Blackbox in his doorway. Thus far, Hyun Jin had been playing errand boy between them; she’d never come to see Felix personally.

            “Hitting them a little hard, wouldn’t you say?” she asked, taking in his rumpled appearance as Felix shoved his blond curtain bangs back out of his face. Felix was grateful she spoke in English; he wasn’t sure how well his secondary and tertiary languages would fire right then.

            “Just taking the edge off,” he said, his voice a little rough from sleep. His thoughts were ping-ponging between English and Korean, and he was grateful Blackbox was fluent in both in case he couldn’t come up with the right word in one or the other. “Don’t worry, if I was going to get hooked on a substance it would have happened a long time ago.”

            “May I come in?” she said. He nodded, moving aside.

            “How are you feeling?” she asked, taking a seat on the sofa. Felix shrugged and chose to remain standing.

            “I’ve been worse,” he said. “I’m bored, but at least I’m not in agony anymore. I’m grateful for that.”

            He couldn’t quite bring himself to thank her directly, but the slight softening in her gaze said she took it that way.

            “Well, you’re in luck then, because I’ve come to take you away from purgatory for a bit,” she said. “If you’re feeling up for it, that is.”

            “I can barely feel a thing right now, so I can probably handle it,” he said. “Where are we going?”

            “The aquarium,” she said. He stared at her, sure he’d misheard.

            “The . . . aquarium?” he repeated.

            “Mmhmm. It’s about an hour away by train, but I think you’ll like it. I always have,” she said.

            Felix blamed the narcotics entirely for his lack of filter when he asked, “Is this a date?”

            She laughed. “Please. You haven’t earned that privilege. No, think of this like an interview.”

            “Fair enough,” Felix sighed. “Give me a minute, will you?”

            She leaned back on the hotel sofa, looking more at home in the room than he’d felt all week. “Take all the time you need.”

            As Felix went to brush his teeth, tidy his hair, and change his clothes, he wondered if the reason she had given him the narcotics in the first place was to impair his judgment and make him less dangerous. He didn’t know how to tell her that he didn’t have any fight left in him. She was a smart woman; he supposed she would simply figure it out.

There was no reason for her to take Felix to the aquarium. No reason except she was going to have to talk to him eventually, and she really wanted to go to the aquarium. 

            The facility was enormous. There was an entire outdoor section that was half garden, half wildlife sanctuary; the aquarium building itself had two floors and exhibits of ridiculous sizes and scales. 

            The first thing she hauled him to was the petting tank, where smaller sharks and rays swam in an oval-shaped pool for visitors to gently touch.

            “Two fingers,” she said, before reaching down to stroke along the back of a passing shark. After pausing to remove the rings from his right hand, one of which she recognized as hers, Felix reached into the pool as well.

            “They’re so smooth,” Felix muttered, his voice even and pleasant. It was peculiar to see him in a situation where he passed for a regular person.

            “Right? At least, they are when you follow the rules and pet from front to back,” she said, feeling pretty pleasant herself. “I remember being so surprised when I first did this as a kid.”

            Felix hummed in acknowledgment, touching a ray next. A smile turned the corners of his lips up. She cursed herself for thinking he was pretty. This man had tried to kill her twice. He didn’t get to be pretty. Then again, he had also written his surrender in his own blood, so maybe he was allowed to be a little pretty.

            After they’d gotten their fill and washed their hands, they continued through the aquarium, peering at horseshoe crabs, eels, jellies. Finally, they passed through a few exhibits that grew progressively dimmer and eventually came to the ocean realm theater.

            The ocean realm theater was exactly what it sounded like, where instead of a movie screen the tiered seating looked onto a massive pane of glass the size of one. It was just one window into the largest tank in the entire aquarium, holding over seven hundred thousand gallons of water.

            “Holy shit,” Felix muttered as they descended the steps to get closer. “How did this not terrify you when you were little?”

            She laughed quietly. “Who says it didn’t? I had at least a couple vivid nightmares about the glass breaking and drowning before a shark could even get to me.”

            “Gruesome,” he said, shifting his weight uncomfortably.

            “Are you feeling okay?” she asked him. “Do you need to sit for a while?”

            “That would be nice,” he answered, and they moved back to find a seat while she checked her phone. 

            “Looks like one of the presentations will be starting in a little bit. We can stay for that, and you can use the time to rest,” she said, glancing at him. Even in the dim lighting, she caught the peculiar look he was giving her.

            “You should want to see me suffer,” he said, averting his eyes.

            “I have seen you suffer,” she said quietly. “I didn’t enjoy it.”

            His gaze shifted back up to meet hers, and his remorse settled in her chest like a physical weight. He’d almost killed her, and she’d grievously wounded him in return. She wouldn’t apologize for it, but she hadn’t liked it, either. His eyes dipped to the floor before he turned his attention back to the tank. A hammerhead shark swam leisurely by.

            “I can see why Hyun Jin likes you,” he said softly. “He’s always been attracted to kindness, as though by being near it he might make up for what he lacks. He’s had trouble in the past differentiating between ‘nice’ and ‘kind,’ though. I think he finally got it right with you.”

            “I’m not that kind,” she deferred.

            “Maybe not,” Felix said, “but you’re fair, and that feels like the same thing in this fucked up world of ours.”

            She said nothing to that because there wasn’t anything to say. They let several minutes of silence tick past.

            Finally, Felix broke it, his voice softer still, like he wasn’t sure he wanted her to hear. “I feel like you’re going to forgive me before I deserve it.”

            She watched his side profile carefully. He gave nothing away, but he wouldn’t look at her. He sounded bone tired, his normally squared shoulders caving a little.

            “I’ll try not to,” she said. He bowed his head a little at that. Mercifully, the presenter arrived then and started talking about sharks and sea turtles.

After they finished touring the aquarium, they went back to the Continental, where she offered to treat Felix to dinner.

            “You said earlier this wasn’t a date, right?” Felix asked after they had put their orders in. “Or did I hallucinate that?”

            “As much as I want to say you hallucinated it simply to fuck with your perception of reality, I’m not feeling particularly cruel today. It’s not a date. But it has been a nice day, and I do feel a little bad about leaving you cooped up in here,” she said.

            “I think boredom is the least of the punishments you deserve to give me,” he said.

            “You’ve already given me your entire databank and a Marker representing your blood oath to me. I’m not sure there’s much more I could do to punish you short of death or mutilation,” she said.

            “Are you feeling terribly macabre today?” he asked in an even tone like they were talking about something trivial, like internet service providers.

            “Not really,” she said just as flippantly.

            “Then I live to die another day,” he said, sipping water through a straw. He knew better than to mix alcohol and narcotics. He did not know better than to push the limits of this tentative alliance.

            “There’s something else that’s been bothering me,” he said after letting the quiet linger for a minute. She looked at him, inquisitive. “The night of the extraction operation, you sucked me off. But I still haven’t returned the favor, and I actually feel really bad about it.”

            She laughed, bewildered. “You guys always have that one thing, don’t you?”

            Felix stared at her, deeply confused. “What do you mean?”

            “Like Hwang’s thing with cheaters. He literally kills people for a living, but he draws the line at infidelity. Then there’s you, who tried to kill me not once but twice, and the thing you feel bad about is being perceived as a selfish lover? It’s madness,” she said.

            “To be fair,” Felix said, sobering a little more, “I also feel bad about trying to kill you. Hence the blood oath.”

            She watched him closely, probably looking for any sign of deceit. She wouldn’t find any.

            “You know I don’t need anything of the sort from you, right? I have two perfectly functional men at home that give great head,” she said.

            “Of course I know that. I wouldn’t delude myself into thinking you need anything from me, sexual or otherwise. I just wanted you to know that should you want to even the score, I’m willing,” he said. Her gaze was steel.

            “You must realize how suspicious that sounds. The last time you tried to kill me we were literally in bed together. Why would I trust you enough to be vulnerable in front of you ever again?” she demanded.

            “Don’t trust me, then,” he said, the easiest answer in the world. ���Just cuff me or something.”

            He could have sat there and feigned nonchalance, but they both knew he’d had nothing but too much time to think about things over the last several days.

            Something in her eyes sharpened, darkened, giving away her interest as she leaned back in her seat. “I’ll think about it,” she said. She then promptly took out her phone and typed for a minute. Probably fielding opinions from Hyun Jin and I.N. Felix didn’t have a full grasp on their exact relationship dynamic, but it made sense to him that they would have full veto power, especially in a situation like this.

            Their food came, and Felix focused on that, giving her the mental time and space she deserved.

            “If we’re going to be working together for the foreseeable future,” she said eventually, changing the subject, “then we’re going to have to figure out somewhere to put you up other than here.”

            “I can talk to Hyun Jin,” Felix said. “He’s probably looking into getting a place around here so he can be closer to you while on this side of the world. Maybe he and I could be roommates again.”

            “You two used to live together?” she asked, incredulous. Felix supposed that made sense; when she’d first come into contact with them they’d already been feuding.

            “Yeah,” Felix said. “We used to do a lot of things together.”

            She hummed in acknowledgment but didn’t pry. Felix appreciated it.

When Felix unlocked the door to his suite and let Blackbox inside, he honestly couldn’t believe it was happening. He closed the door, bolted it, and watched her stride to the bed like this was her room and he was the visitor.

            “Do you even have cuffs?” she asked skeptically, perching on the bed and crossing her legs at the knee.

            “Not with me,” he said. “I packed light and that was the last thing I thought I was going to need.”

            “Oh well,” she said. “We’ll just have to make do.”

            “Do you know how to do cuffs with a belt?” he asked her. She snorted.

            “Of course I do.”

            He unbuckled his belt, crossing the room while pulling it through the loops. He handed it to her, and she looked him up and down for a moment before taking it.

            “What’s your safe word?” she asked.

            “Ryzen,” he said. She laughed out loud.

            “Are you fucking serious?”

            “Yeah,” he said, his lips pulling into a grin. “Nothing is more deeply unsexy than mentioning computer parts mid-fuck. It’s literally guaranteed to make it all stop.”

            “How often does it make people want to not fuck you in the first place?” she teased, twisting his belt in her hands, forming double-loop cuffs like she’d done it a hundred times before. She had the air of an experienced domme, and she clearly had a lot of sex, so Felix wouldn’t have been surprised if that was the case.

            “Most people don’t recognize the name. More people know about the Intel processor line, but not as many are familiar with AMD. Now, if my safe word was Pentium I’d probably get a much stronger reaction. I’m kind of surprised you knew the Ryzen series right off,” he said.

            “I know everything. It’s my job,” she said, trying to suppress her grin. “Now stop talking and get naked, you big nerd.”

            Maybe he should have felt embarrassed, stripping all the way down while she watched his every move, but this woman had already swallowed his cum once so it felt like a pointless reaction. He dropped his clothes into a pile at the foot of the bed, and when he turned his attention back to her, she was looking him over with a gaze meant to devour.

            Peculiar, since tonight was supposed to be the other way around.

            She stood up and walked a slow circle around him, surveying him from every angle. Despite his resolution, that kind of attention made his ears flush pink, luckily hidden by his shaggy blond hair. He wondered how he stacked up to Hyun Jin and I.N in her eyes.

            Coming to a stop in front of him, she held up the cuffs she’d made from his belt and he obediently slipped his wrists into the loops. She adjusted the fit, testing the band with her finger on each side to make sure it didn’t bite into his skin. 

            Even so, she still asked, “Is it too tight?”

            He shook his head. “No. It feels fine.”

            “Good,” she said, and then she started to strip. For what Felix meant to do, she really didn’t need to take off as much as she did. A minute later, the only thing that remained on her body was a black racerback bra that made her cleavage look amazing.

            “Fuck,” Felix muttered. As far as torment went, this was a damn good option.

            She settled a pillow on the floor next to the bed for his knees, and then glanced at him one more time, taking in his half-hard length in the process.

            “You get off on serving?” she asked him. 

            “I get off on my partner’s happiness,” he amended. The left corner of her mouth picked up at that.

            “Come here, Yong Bok.”

            He knelt on the pillow.

            “When was your last dose of oxy?” she asked him.

            “Hours ago, before we left for the aquarium,” he answered, gazing up at her.

            “Will you take another half for me now?”

            He nodded, not bothering to ask why. If she wanted to put him through his paces, he wouldn’t complain. She plucked the bottle off the nightstand and placed the tiny half-moon on his tongue. He swallowed it.

            “Have you ever had sex on narcotics before?” she asked next. He shook his head, unable to take his eyes off her. When he’d said he was surrendering, he’d meant it.

            “No,” he said. She chuckled.

            “I’ll make sure you have a good experience.”

            “I thought this was about you,” he murmured.

            “It’ll certainly start that way,” she said, fanning her legs open for him.

            He didn’t have to be verbally convinced. An eager throb went through his length as he leaned forward to swipe long licks up her center, acquainting himself with her taste. He made a soft sound of approval. The taste of her heat forced him to recall the taste of her tongue, which made him think of the blowjob she’d given him. His cock twitched up again, the memory of that night (before he’d ruined it) making her taste that much sweeter, his determination to please her that much more intense.

            He delved his tongue into her pussy, making her moan sweetly, alternating his efforts between her cunt and her clit, eager to make her unwind. He knew it would take time and considerable effort, but that didn’t deter or intimidate him; if anything, he relished the opportunity to grovel like this. What she’d said earlier had been true—she didn’t need him. So her consenting to be with him at all had to mean something, and he didn’t want to fuck up.

            By concentrating on the sounds she made, on the flinching of her thighs, on her fingers in his hair, he quickly learned what she liked and kept the pressure up. It would have been easier if he’d been able to use his hands, but she didn’t want this to be easy on him, and that was just as well. Having to work this hard to please made him all the more desperate to do it, to prove that he could.

            When she came, it was extremely obvious. Not only did her sounds completely change, her hips fidgeting against his mouth, but her taste shifted slightly, just enough for him to know what a good job he’d done. He curled his tongue inside her to take what he’d earned, which had the added bonus of stimulating her further, prolonging the orgasm. Finally, she started to taper and he pulled back. His face was damp with her wet, and he didn’t care. He stared up at her, waiting for direction.

            She brushed his hair out of his eyes, her gaze doing a slow sweep of him. His darkened eyes, his glistening chin, his bound wrists, and finally his aching erection. Her attention lingered there, her eyebrows rising slightly. He looked down at himself to see what had prompted that reaction, only to flush when he noticed. Not only was his tip leaking pre-cum, but it had drooled so profusely that a little puddle had formed on the pillow below him.

            “You want me that badly?” she asked him, her voice so soft, the opposite of what he’d expected. He looked up at her again.

            “Yes,” he answered honestly. What point was there in lying when the evidence was so obvious?

            “Do you think you deserve it?” she asked next.

            “No,” he answered without hesitation. A faint smile ghosted against her lips.

            “Good boy,” she said. Crossing her legs at the knee again, she took the tissue box off the nightstand and started cleaning up his face. Felix let his eyes close halfway, enjoying the tender attention.

            “How are you feeling?” she asked him.

            “Fine,” he said.

            “No pain anywhere?”

            “No pain,” he confirmed. He felt a little lightheaded, but that had nothing to do with his physical durability.

            “Would you like to keep going?”

            “Yes,” he said, opening his eyes to meet hers. “Please.”

            She stood and disposed of the tissues, then pulled the case off one of the pillows, winding it in her hands until it resembled a rope. “Lie down on the bed, Felix.”

            He did as she said, not an ounce of fight in him as she tied his bound wrists to the headboard above him. “You know how to make this all stop,” she reminded as she checked the tightness, ensuring he couldn’t escape. Felix appreciated the check-in.

            “I don’t want it to stop,” he said. She toyed with the rose gold band on his right ring finger, her first acknowledgment of him wearing the ring she’d left on his finger the night she’d knocked him out, the night he’d tried to smother her.

            “I suppose you wouldn’t,” she said, thoughtful. Then she kissed him, and Felix melted. She pressed her tongue into his mouth, no doubt tasting herself, and he moaned. He was unable to hold still, his hips twitching up, but she was positioned in such a way that he couldn’t rub his cock on any part of her, couldn’t get any friction, any relief.

            “Poor baby,” she said, drawing back. The kindness from a few minutes ago was gone; Felix was equally attracted to both halves of her. Pampering or punishment, he didn’t care so long as he had her attention. “If only you could use your cock on something.”

            “Please,” he moaned. Her attention was split between his length and his face, his cock twitching whenever she looked at it.

            “Please what?” she asked, meeting his eyes.

            “Please use me,” he said. “Please treat me like a human dildo. Please use my body to get off. It’s there and ready and begging for you, so please just take it.”

            She brushed his hair aside and kissed him again. Then she took her bra off as she straddled his hips. He sighed raggedly, his only regret that he couldn’t touch or taste her tits now that they were free.

            “I’m going to hold you to that,” she said, her cunt dangerously close to the head of his cock now. He fidgeted, but she’d accounted for it, staying just barely out of reach. He whined in frustration. “A good toy would stay hard until I’m finished . . . A good toy won’t come in the middle of my fun and ruin it . . . Do you understand?”

            “Yes,” he said. “I won’t come without permission. I’ll be good.”

            He said it confidently, but with how badly he wanted her, he wasn’t certain it was a promise he could actually keep.

            She sank down onto him bit by slick, glorious bit, and both the sight and feeling of it drew a throaty moan out of him. She showed off for him after that, drawing all the way up and sliding all the way down, giving him a flawless view of her cunt swallowing his cock. He was already feeling dizzy, whether from his arousal or the narcotics kicking in or some combination he couldn’t be sure, and he almost couldn’t believe this was actually happening.

            His expression must have said as much because she laughed softly. “I hope you’re aware of how lucky you are,” she said. He nodded, managing to rip his gaze away from the place their bodies met long enough to look her in the face.

            “I’m well aware,” he said. “I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve you.”

            It was a loaded statement, but a true one. He was acutely aware not only of the pleasure of her on his cock, but of the way she refused to use his torso for support, the way she was doing her best to keep her weight off him, relying wholly on her own strength. After everything he’d put her through, she was trying not to hurt him.

            He wasn’t sure how much pain she could have caused him right then anyway, blitzed as he was, but her efforts didn’t go unnoticed. It was consideration he felt he hadn’t earned yet craved all the same.

            “Will you kiss me again?” he asked impulsively. She blinked, caught off guard, but leaned over him, moving one hand from where it’d been planted onto the bed to cup the back of his neck and claim his lips with hers. He moaned at that, enveloping her lips as ardently as he could, flirting with the idea of his tongue, surprised when she let him slip it into her mouth. She kept rocking on his cock the entire time.

            When they finally broke apart there was spit connecting their lips. Felix felt dazed. She remained leaning over his body, enjoying the angle, continuing to fuck herself back onto him. She didn’t slow down, not a single stutter in her hips, just an onslaught of hard, deep strokes.

            With a distant sense of alarm, Felix realized he wasn’t going to be able to take it. Somewhere between the painkillers and the pleasure and his inability to move or get away, his mind and body both felt on the verge of shattering.

            And he liked it.

            He started to struggle.

            “You’re gonna make me come,” he protested, trying to shift his hips to lessen her pressure, but it was no use, not with his arms strung up the way they were. “You told me not to come without permission but you’re going to make me do it anyway, you’re going to force me.”

            “Don’t you fucking dare, Felix,” she warned, her eyes sharp on his face, though her voice wasn’t unkind. He trusted her to honor his safe word, but he didn’t want to use it. He liked feeling out of control, fully at the mercy of someone else.

            “I’m trying,” he moaned, squeezing his eyes shut. The sensation of her around his cock was intense, addling his already scrambled thoughts. “Fuck I’m trying but I can’t— I can’t—”

            “Figure it the fuck out, Felix,” she said, her voice a little harsher now, slipping further into her own role as Felix drowned in his. “I’m not done with you so don’t you dare come inside me.”

            Felix wasn’t aware of when he’d started to tear up, but when he opened his eyes to look at her again, they ran down his face unbidden. “Please, I can’t stop it, you have to stop,” he begged. Her expression was unmoved as she gazed down at him, no hesitation in her, forcing his cock as deeply inside her as she could. Her expression repeated what she’d said earlier: You know how to make this all stop.

            But he didn’t want it to, and she wouldn’t break the character of the scene by saying it out loud a second time.

            “Stop, I’m—”

            And that was the end of him. With tears streaming down his face, his eyes rolled back in his skull, his hips twitching up violently against her. The sounds he made were guttural, animal. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d come this hard, his orgasm tearing through his whole body, making him shake. Still she didn’t stop, riding him hard through his orgasm, driving him mad with stimulation. That’s when he heard her whine, coupled with the feeling of her cunt spasming around his cock telling him she’d found her orgasm, too.

            But Felix only barely registered any of that. He was too far gone.

She was never going to recover from seeing Felix cry. At first, she thought it was simply because he was a gorgeous crier, but as they came down from their orgasms and he didn’t calm in the slightest, she realized this had to do with a lot more than just sex.

            It had happened to her before, where an exceptionally demanding sex session had opened the floodgates for every emotion she’d been keeping inside for weeks or more, bawling her eyes out long after the high had passed. She recognized it in Felix now for what it was.

            She pulled off him, both of them dripping, trembling messes, and quickly undid his restraints. She guided his arms back down to their proper position and immediately started rubbing his shoulders and extremities to soothe any stiffness or numbness he may have sustained. Felix couldn’t take his eyes off her while she did it, but he couldn’t pull himself together, either, and that was fine.

            “It’s okay, Felix,” she murmured. “You’re all right. You’re safe. I promise you’re safe. Let it out, sweetheart.”

            The pet name pulled a different kind of sob from him, and she drew him into her arms, where he promptly buried his face in her neck and cried harder. She ran soothing hands up and down his back, noticing with her touch for the first time the scar along his spine: the old bullet wound that had first devastated him. 

            “Please don’t make me sleep alone tonight,” he pleaded.

            “I won’t,” she said without hesitation. “I would never leave you alone like this. I’m not going anywhere until you’re all right. I promised to take care of you, and I will.”

            He nodded against her neck, pressing closer to her until he was basically in her lap. She couldn’t imagine pushing him away, not right now, and she tried not to think about the potentially far-reaching implications of that.

            She let one hand play with his hair, murmuring placations to him until he started to calm down.

            “We need to clean up now,” she said gently. “Can you handle taking a shower?”

            “Not by myself,” he said. God, she hadn’t meant to fracture him so deeply.

            “Of course not, lovely. I’ll be right there to help you,” she assured. He nodded and let her escort him to the washroom, but not before she’d grabbed a couple of water bottles from the mini-fridge. He guzzled his while she got the shower going.

            Once they were comfortable in the water and steam, she gently took stock of him while she washed his body. She made sure he was clean of sex residue, of course, but looked over his scars and wounds, too. She was pleased to see his forearm healing nicely from where she’d bitten him weeks ago during their first altercation. She lifted his arm and gently kissed both sides of the closed wound.

            She didn’t apologize because she wasn’t sorry about defending herself, but she hoped it was clear that she didn’t want to cause him any more pain. He looked at her then like she was the sun after a long night, and she wished he wouldn’t.

            “Can I tell you something?” he said softly. He traded place with her, giving her time under the water, and leaned against the tiled shower wall.

            “Of course,” she said. He looked at the floor for a moment, like he wasn’t sure if he really wanted to speak at all. She reached to brush his cheek with her fingertips and he looked at her again. “You can tell me.”

            “While you were infiltrating Lee Know’s ranks . . . Before you got caught . . . I wished I had gotten to you before Hyun Jin did,” he said. “During the extraction op, while we were on watch together . . . I never should have tried to hurt you. Not just because it was wrong, but because I liked you . . . I felt twice as upset because I liked you. I liked you, and Hyun Jin replaced me with you and I.N, and I didn’t know how to handle it, so I tried to shut my brain off and just follow orders. But I’m happy you stopped me. I’m happy Hyun Jin has you. And I’m happy for whatever time I’m able to be near you both, in whatever role you need me to play. It doesn’t matter to me. I just . . . I don’t want to be alone again.”

            It was so much more than she expected, so much more than she felt equipped to handle. So instead she moved closer to him and gently kissed his forehead, his starry cheeks, his lips.

            “We’ll figure it out,” she said, because it was the only thing she knew for sure. “We’re in this together now . . . I don’t want to hurt you anymore, and I don’t think you want to hurt me, either.”

            “I don’t,” he confirmed, and he looked so earnest, so remorseful, that it almost thawed her heart. “You don’t know how relieved I am that I didn’t succeed . . . I’ve never been so happy to fail at something in my entire life.”

            She smiled, chuckling a little. “That makes two of us,” she said, as though she wasn’t joking about her life itself.

            When they got out of the shower, she helped Felix dry off, relieved that he seemed to be coming back to himself. They got dressed and she ordered food up to his suite, and they ate sitting atop the bed (minus the topmost blanket, which was basically ruined).

            “I’m feeling a lot better now,” Felix said as they finished up their meal. “You don’t have to stay with me if you don’t want to.”

            “I said I would stay, so I’ll stay,” she said. “Unless you really want me to go, that is. I’ll respect your wishes either way.”

            “I don’t want to sleep alone,” he reiterated. The way he looked at her was so vulnerable, and she got the idea she could have tried to stab him with her fork and he wouldn’t have put much effort into fighting her off.

            “Then I’ll stay.”

            After letting Jeong In and Hyun Jin know she wouldn’t be coming home that night and why (which Jeong In seemed deeply uncertain about), she quickly discovered Felix liked to cuddle. Once they were under the sheets, he wanted to be as close to her as possible. Maybe he hadn’t fully recovered, after all. Or maybe this was just the way he truly was underneath his killer’s veneer.

            “Is this okay?” he asked her. They were curled close together, face to face, with their legs tangled and Felix’s head resting on her arm. Her free hand trailed gingerly along his bare side, and he shivered a little, his eyes looking abruptly shy.

            “It’s okay,” she confirmed. “As long as it doesn’t aggravate your back.”

            “It’s fine,” he assured. “I’d tell you if it wasn’t.”

            “Wake me if you need anything,” she said. He nodded, before shifting his body a little so he could tuck his head under her chin.

            “Good night,” he said, his breath warm against her sternum, “and thank you.”

            “Don’t worry about it,” she murmured, fighting the desire to bury her nose in his hair.

[lendmyboyfriendahand]

Sandman!

[skylarsblue]

Bo Sinclair Fluff Alphabet

I posted this on Ao3 already, but since the oneshots went over so well, I figured putting it here wouldn’t hurt. I’m working on Lester’s now!

A = Attractive (What do they find attractive about the other?)

Bo’s a bit superficial at first glance, admittedly. Physically, he’ll probably notice something that’s a bit cliche. He likes boobs, a good ass, etc. Though something he likes that’s universal is thighs. When asked if he’s an ass man, a boob guy, a thigh dude? He’ll say all three. But, thighs are certainly something he appreciates. It’s where he’ll glance the most when you’re wearing shorts, form-fitting pants, a skirt, etc. In personality, Bo would appreciate a warm but stern soul. The kind of person to scold him for a habit because it hurts him. Even if he acts like it’s annoying. He’ll acknowledge that it’s because you want him to take care of himself eventually, though you might have to just say that for him to understand sooner. Bo needs a person who’s able to call him out when he’s being an asshole, but also be gentle and kind when he needs it. It’s that kind of personality that’ll bring a more healthy structure into his life. And him being positively affected will drip down to his brothers. Making Bo better makes everyone better.

B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not?)

Not right away, no. But definitely at some point! Bo’s a family man, though he’s never thought too hard about having kids of his own, it’s certainly something he’d like to have. If you can’t have kids or you really don’t think you could handle it, he wouldn’t press too hard about it. He understands if you don’t want them. They’re a big responsibility and he’s even scared himself in the fantasies he’s had. Bo’d fear he’d turn out to be like his parents. Or that, if you did have a biological kid, you’d end up with a conjoined baby. But, it doesn’t stop him from occasionally dreaming about having a sweet, nuclear family. Even if he doesn’t think he deserves it.

C = Cuddle (How do they cuddle?)

Bo will claim he’s not the cuddling type, and he is an absolute filthy liar. It just takes trust built for him to agree to cuddles. Unless he’s shitfaced drunk. Then you can snuggle him all you want, it’s fine.  He tends to prefer being the big spoon, which isn’t surprising. But, if you’ve broken through his walls before, and he’s feeling a bit emotional, he’ll like being held. It’s in these cases where Bo likes using you as a pillow. But, he’ll only do this if you two are alone. More often than not, he’ll appreciate the average spooning position or having you in his lap.

D = Dates (What are dates with them like?)

Bo doesn’t like to leave Ambrose too much. He isn’t like Vincent where he stays there constantly, but he isn’t like Lester that leaves consistently either.  Dates will typically be “stay in” dates, watching a movie together, or maybe making dinner together. But, every once and a while, he’ll take you into town. Where you go will depend on what you like to do, within reason. If you want to have a day date where you do some errands, maybe a middle-class restaurant date? He’ll be down for that. If you suggest a bar or club? He’ll be surprised, but eagerly agree. Even if it’s those dates that have him pouting afterward because someone hit on you.

E = Everything (You are my___ (e.g. my life, my world)

“Darlin’.”

It seems like just a simple pet name but it means a lot. It’s one of the few pet names he won’t use when teasing or poking fun at you because it actually means something to him. Calling you that is a small sign of vulnerability. He’ll say it soft, with fondness.

F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love?)

It’ll probably hit him a bit suddenly. Likely when watching you do something domestic, maybe when interacting with his brothers. Seeing you fit in his home, in his family, so naturally. Like you belong there. For example, if you were making lunch for him, Lester, and Vincent. Having fun banter with his brothers, even making Vincent laugh. Bo will realize you bring a new light to the house. Something he and his brothers need. It’ll lead him into thinking about all the times you’ve tried to care for him, even when he was acting like an asshole. This’ll stick in his brain for days. Bo will try to deny how he feels for weeks, but ever since noticing, he’ll now pick up on more and more he loves about you. Until eventually he has to bite the bullet and accept it.

G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?)

It kind of depends. He’s not the kind of rough where he hurts you, no. But Bo is naturally a bit calloused and harsh. He’s not your typical definition of gentle. The only time he gets “rough”, is during sex, if you partake in that. Still, sometimes he’ll get strangely soft. More often when he’s a bit buzzed or drunk. Though you can also catch him in a soft mood when he’s very tired. But, if you don’t want to upset him, don’t poke fun at him when he’s like this.

H = Hands (How do they like to hold hands?)

Bo’s not really the type to like holding hands. There’s no particular reason, it’s just not something he prefers. He’d prefer to put an arm around your waist, put his hand in your back pocket, or just hold you in general. But, in the event of you saying holding his hand makes you feel better or safer, he’ll offer you his hand more frequently. Especially if he sees you getting anxious about something. His hands are a bit calloused but he actually does a pretty good job at keeping them clean.

I = Impression (What was their first impression?)

He probably didn’t have much of one. Anyone who enters Ambrose either gets thrown into the pit or put into a wax cast. Bo might’ve noted a few unique traits about you. Maybe you were more polite than the average visitor, maybe you dressed a bit differently, etc. What got you to stay is how well your personality meshed with his. Genuinely pleasant interactions, ones where you didn’t put on a front so he’d cut you a deal on your cut fanbelt. Complimenting the town and Vincent’s art would also get you some points.

J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)

Oh yes. Usually, with his brothers, he won’t get very jealous. He might get a bit huffy if he feels you’re giving them more attention, but it’s not the kind of jealousy he gets with strangers. If a visitor flirts with you or someone shoots their shot when he finally takes you into town? He’ll get very jealous. He won’t get mad at you, assuming you’re not intentionally flirting back with someone. But, he can get pretty possessive of you. There’s probably a handful of situations where Bo’s punched someone straight in the face. He’ll be pretty clingy for a few hours afterward, and if you’re down for it, he’ll probably rail you into the mattress.

K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?)

It depends if you’re bold or not. It’ll probably be him though. A moment of high tension between you, maybe in the middle of an argument where you’re telling him to stop doing something. Such as smoking. Being stern that you care, and he’ll just smooch your face. Ideally, you’d be into it. And, if I know my readers…yes, yes y’all would be. I think we all like the admission of love/first kiss in the middle of an emotional fight troupe.

L = Love (Who says ‘I love you’ first?)

Honestly, it’s probably you. Bo struggles to admit emotions in almost every situation, so saying something so heavy as “I love you” is not likely to happen. In the case he does say it first, it would have to be a circumstance where he nearly lost you. Maybe because a visitor went rouge and nearly hurt you really badly. But, in any other case, it’d have to be you. And he isn’t likely won’t say it back for a while. It’s not that he doesn’t feel it. He just finds it easier to show it. Words are hard sometimes, you know?

M = Memory (What’s their favourite memory together?)

Bo’s not too sentimental, but he cares a lot about how well you blend with his brothers. It’s no secret between the three of them that you bring a new, special air to the ghost town. You’re the one that helps them bond with each other. For example, board game nights. Bo will insist on not participating, but he’ll watch you, Lester, & Vincent play. And whilst watching you three, he’ll take note of how well you meld with the family. Making Lester feel included and helping Vincent come out of his shell. Even if he’s not joining in on that game of Uno? He’s enjoying the moment anyway.

N = Nickel (Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?)

It’s a bit of a middle ground, but, for the most part, he does. It’s not always via buying things, but for once, this slasher is actually capable of buying you things! He’s not crazy rich but he’s got some decent funds. As long as everyone’s needs are met and there’s food in the fridge, he’s certainly willing to spend his extra money on you. Within reason. Though, if he says no to something, you still have a chance. Bo’s a softie under that tough skin and if you’re extra sweet, beg a bit, and maybe do him a favor? Yeah, you’ll probably get whatever you wanted.

O = Orange (What colour reminds them of their other half?)

I’d say there are two colors he associates you with. The first one is denim blue. Not only is denim everywhere in the south, but blue represents a few things he equates with you. Blue often represents loyalty, security, & trust. The second color Bo affiliates with you is canary yellow. Yellow is said to mean things like fun, warmth, & overall joy.

P = Pet names (What pet names do they use?)

I mentioned how the pet name “darling”, said without the G as the southern rule goes, is very important to him. Bo is also the type of guy to use sweetheart, baby, and you can not tell me he wouldn’t use sugar-cube. You know, the typical southern pet names. He might find something specific to call you if it’s related to an inside joke or maybe something related to your name. As for pet names he likes t be called, he’s not super picky. You could call him his name all the time and he wouldn’t care too much. However, one’s like dear, sweetheart, and honey/hun tend to make him feel nice and fuzzy. If you want something to use when you’re both alone and he’s being soft? Call him baby boy.

Q = Quaint (What is their favourite non-modern thing?)

Bo’s not super materialistic, nor is he drawn to modernity, but it’s not surprising that he likes cars. His favorite cars to work on are 1960s Chevy Trucks. And his utter dream car? A 1960 Mercedes convertible, in the color red of course. In general, though, Bo is just a whore for old cars. If you asked him why he’ll only shrug. “They’re cool.”

R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?)

Bo doesn’t let the weather stop him 90% of the time, but he’ll certainly try to spin a rainstorm into a reason he can take the majority of the day off. He’ll be more willing to sleep in, stay in the house, lounge around with you. Rainy days are a nice break day. And, as long as it’s not a concerningly heavy storm, he likes the sound of the water on the windows and roof. That being said, if it picks up too much, Bo will start to stress out a bit. Louisiana’s kind of known for its really bad storms.

S = Sad (How do they cheer themselves/others up?)

Drink? Yell at something? Isolate himself? Now, you might argue that those don’t help, and you’d be right! That’s where you come in. Allowing him a place to vent will be very beneficial for him. And, if it’s not too serious, being playful & joking around with him is a good method. Other times, when neither of those are working, just get him a beer and show you care for him by doting on him a little. When you’re sad and upset, Bo’s not necessarily the best at that. His first thought is to make a joke or two, try to get you laughing, lighten the air. If that doesn’t work he gets uncomfortable. When in the beginning, he’ll get you an object that’s comforting (a blanket, some tissues, a glass of water, etc.) and then leave you alone for a while. He usually needs space when he’s upset. If you tell him you want him around, he’ll be a bit awkward, but over time Bo will become more accustomed to how to comfort you. Whether that’s giving you a hug, shushing you softly, or letting you vent about it. Bo may come off calloused or blunt sometimes, but try not to let it sting you too much. He doesn’t want to upset you further, he just doesn’t always understand emotions.

T = Talking (What do they like to talk about?)

He’s down to talk about just about anything he has knowledge of. Bo tends to ramble about his frustrations though, most of them aren’t a big deal. But he likes when you listen and agree with him. It feels nice when he can jokingly banter with you over things you mutually get annoyed by. Bo will do the same for you. If you’re ranting about something lightheartedly, he’ll certainly join in. Bo will also gladly educate you on any of his hobbies if you ask. If you care enough, he’ll allow you to follow him and watch when he does these things. Bo will be utterly elated if you want to learn more about cars. He’d love to have a helper in the garage.

U = Unencumbered (What helps them relax?)

He has unhealthy relaxation methods, such as smoking or drinking, and sometimes he just isolates himself in the garage. These things don’t really help much. Smoking is a temporary fix, drinking is likely to make him feel worse, and isolating himself often leads to him dissociating. With you around, he finds being in your company relaxing. Whether it’s talking to you, watching you, or just sitting near you. Bo will sometimes go on drives on the long dirt roads to clear his head. And, though he doesn’t really do it anymore when he was younger? Bo would pour his stress, anger, & other negative emotions into a piano. Not even needing sheet music, just the keys. If you manage to move that old piano from the attic and get it in tune again, you might be able to get him into that coping mechanism again. Or, if you can work up the money to buy a new one, he’ll secretly be completely enamored with you for a while. If you hear him playing piano late at night? Wait until he’s done and then go to comfort him if he still needs it. Then pull him back to bed.

V = Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?)

You? Obviously? Though Bo has to be a bit of a flirt with some visitors, he has absolutely no problem showing you off. And he’s never subtle about it either. He’ll do it even more if he notices that someone is eyeing you a certain way. Putting emphasis on certain words. “This ‘s my sweetheart.” “Them? Oh, they’re my partner, been together for a few years.” As to what he shows off to you? His “husband” skills, of course. Whether that’s being a handyman, remembering an important date, or doing something that makes your life easier. Watch him puff up his chest and smile proudly when you praise him for cleaning the kitchen for you. That being said, try not to inflate his ego too much, yeah? Vincent & Lester won’t hear the end of it.

W = Wedding (When, how, where do they propose?)

It’ll take Bo quite a long time. You’ll probably be together for about ten years before he finally pops the question. Don’t be fooled though, he’ll start considering it around year five, and he’ll fantasize about it way before that. But he hesitates. He doesn’t want to move too fast for you, scare you off, or god forbid marry you to then have you leave because you got sick of him. When he finally does propose, it’ll likely have him trying to be strangely romantic. He may not take you out to a fancy dinner, that’s not a Bo-style thing. He’ll take you to a little secluded spot just outside of Ambrose. A nice clearing of a field under the stars. He’ll make the air lighthearted but sweet. Bo will likely ask you how you feel about him. The sweeter you are the more his heart will melt. He’ll start easing into more questions. Do you like being an Ambrose with him? Do you consider Lester & Vincent family? And then he’ll hit you with the question suddenly. “Do ya like living here? You think Lester & Vincent are good brothers? Do you think I’m a good man for ya? …Do you think you’d be able to marry me?” And then while you’re processing what he asked, he’ll pull out the ring with a little smile. Bo won’t say it, but he’ll be terrified the whole time. Needless to say you might get some tears out of him when you say yes.

X = Xylophone (What’s their song?)

I actually wanted to do a chapter based on songs at one point. Bo’s favorite genres would probably be classic rock (new age rock is something he detests), a few country songs, and the occasional alt-punk/rock song. Though he’ll claim to hate the last one. Don’t let him fool you, he absolutely identified with My Chemical Romance when he was younger.  As for songs I associate with him, regardless if he’d like them or not? -The Family Jewels by Marina & The Diamonds -I Am Not A Robot by Marina & The Diamonds -Burning Pile by Mother Mother -Daddy Issues by The Neighborhood

Y = Yes (Do they ever think of getting married/proposing?)

For sure. Maybe not for a year or two, but his brain has certainly conjured up the idea of marrying you. Though it likely caught him off guard. I can see him waking up suddenly from a half-sleeping state, questioning why the hell his brain decided to paint you in the house-spouse light. And it absolutely wouldn’t surprise me if his subconscious put you with a kid or two. Bo craves a peaceful, nuclear family. Bo considers the dream unrealistic. Though, if you’re up for it, you’re more than welcome to prove him wrong.

Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?)

Bo’s the guy that outright refuses to get pets, only to end up being best friends with it. That’s what happened with Jonesy. Though she favors Lester, he is her owner, after all, Bo is very clearly her second favorite. When Lester first showed up with a dog? Bo complained and bitched for at least a month and a half. But watch him straight up punch someone if they insult that dog. However, if you want a reptile, you better keep it away from him. Snakes don’t outright scare him, but they definitely freak him out a little. And he just thinks lizards are weird. Get this man a dog. Bonus points if it’s a bully breed or a big intimidating one, only for it to be a cuddly sweetheart. What do you mean that’s just how you’d describe Bo? That’s not intentional at all…

[ryukatters]

Fluff Alphabet (Levi Ackerman x Reader)

A/N: Requested by an anonymous user. Writer’s block is real and I’m glad I was able to get this one out. Have fun, fellow Levi simps. 

Contents/warning: fluff, Modern AU with mentions of canon, mentions of death, something slightly suggestive 

Word Count: 2.8k

Activities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Levi enjoys simplicity and domesticity, so anything within that realm is fair game for you two. Cooking, cleaning, sharing a meal together, cuddling, and running errands are all up his alley. 

Don’t worry, he’ll still take you out on nice dates. A ceramics class, dancing, concert, or whatever he finds interesting that he’ll think you’ll enjoy. He’ll also wine and dine you afterwards <3

Beauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

Levi is an extremely emotional person, Isayama said it himself (and now I’m saying it too!). So when he falls, he falls hard with no point of return. Levi is truly, madly, deeply in love with you.  

He adores every single bit of you— body, mind, and soul.

Comfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

Will do his best to stay calm because it probably won’t help if he’s also visibly distressed

Will be very accommodating. He’ll get you everything you need— water, food, cuddles, words of affirmation. Really good on picking up on non-verbal cues so he’ll cater to you if you’re having trouble expressing what you want. He will dote on you for the remainder of the day even if you insist you’re okay. 

Dreams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

It may come as a surprise to many, but Levi is genuinely great with kids (think about how many 15 year olds he had to take care of LOL). A family is definitely in the picture for him, but only once you both are financially, mentally, and physically ready for one. He wants to raise children in the most optimal circumstances possible.

Equal - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

He’s fine with letting you take the reins and make the decisions, but he also makes sure to put in his two cents every once in a while. Being with Levi is easy. You don’t have the energy to make decisions? That’s fine, he’ll do it. He’ll make sure to choose something both of you will benefit from.

Fight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

Levi’s more quiet than usual when you two fight. He doesn’t like going to bed angry, so he’ll start doing small things to get closer to you. He’ll help you cook dinner, do the laundry, or sit next to you on the couch while you’re watching a movie, wordlessly. 

*quietly slides you cut up fruit in hopes of you forgiving him*

For bigger fights, he usually waits for it to simmer down before even attempting to talk. He doesn’t want things to blow out of proportion because you two are still mad at each other. He’d want to forgive you right away and vice versa because he can’t stand not spending time with you. 

Gratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

Levi knows he can be difficult to deal with. He has trouble with opening up to others because he doesn’t want to burden them with his baggage. He thinks it’s pointless (it’s not)

He is extremely grateful for you, especially since you’re so patient with him.

Honesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

I think Levi prefers to keep things about his childhood and past self to himself. He drops bits and pieces every now and then, and little by little you start to understand more about Levi’s motivations and why he acts the way he does.

Once you start dating him, you pick up on his little mannerisms. Even if he doesn’t say anything, his eyes tell you everything. 

Eventually, he begins to trust both you and himself more with being more vulnerable. If there happens to be anything that’s weighing down on him, he’ll want to let you know. Granted, he might sit on it for a little bit, but Levi will come around eventually. Communication (and understanding) from both parties are going to become a very important foundation to this relationship. 

Inspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

Nearly everything comes naturally to Levi— be it academics, sports, cooking, games, whatever. Have him do it once, it’s like he’s been doing it for years. His innate talent in almost every single possible facet makes it seem as though he’s got everything down to a t. 

When you came into his life and managed to build yourself a little home in his heart, he realized that loving someone and being able to be comfortable with affection did not come to him as easily. For once in his life, Levi Ackerman had to work for something. He had a goal. And that goal was to be the best partner he could be for you. It’s a work in progress, but Levi doesn’t mind. He’ll start over and over again if it means you getting the love and appreciation you deserve. 

Jealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Trust is a revolving theme in this relationship. He has faith in you and knows you would never do anything to betray his trust, especially when other people are involved. However, that doesn’t stop him from casually slipping his arm around your waist and giving a pointed glare to someone who doesn’t seem to know how to take a hint.

Kiss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Sweet, gentle.

Levi is a Respectful King™ and didn’t want to make you uncomfortable by making a move on you without your consent (even though you’ve been dying for a crumb of mouth and tongue action since forEVER)

You literally had to grab him by the collar and beg him to kiss you

Love Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

It was definitely long overdue.

He wouldn’t confess unless he knew for sure you reciprocated.

Even when he was sure you liked him back, he still didn’t want to go through with it. I think it had to do with his deep rooted fear that he wouldn’t be able to give you what you needed (which totally wasn’t true, AT ALL). It probably took lots of convincing from Hange and Erwin.

You two were hanging out at his place, watching your favorite show and eating your favorite takeout, as per usual. Levi seemed unusually quiet that day. The conversation went a little bit like this:

“Hey, Levi?”

“Hm?

“You okay? You seem...out of it.”

*Cue Levi’s internal monologue on whether this is an appropriate time to tell his very attractive friend that he’s madly in love with them* 

“I’m fine,” he gritted out.

“Are you sure?” you asked worriedly, placing your palm to his forehead. “You’re not coming down with something, are you? You feel a bit warm.”

He turned away from you suddenly, catching you off guard as he mumbled something rather incoherent. 

“What?”

More mumbling. The tips of his ears were red. Was he...was he blushing? 

“Still didn’t catch that.”

“I said I think I’m in love with you, idiot.”

Marriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

I think Levi would totally be down to get married. Though a proposal has always been in the back of his mind, it took lots of nudging from his friends for him to finally make the move.

The proposal wouldn’t be overly intricate, though it would be extremely sweet. I can see a nice picnic with a view of the city. He would propose with a gorgeous ring that combines both of your personalities.

I think Levi is a real homebody. He makes that extremely evident at the beginning of your relationship. So I honestly don’t think that marriage would change your relationship drastically other than I don’t know, filing your taxes together or some shit LMAO

Nicknames - What do they call their s/o?

Darling, honey, love, angel. Very classic, very Levi. He also likes saying your name, he thinks it’s beautiful and fits you perfectly. 

As for him, he likes love, darling, babe (secretly) and just his name. There’s just something so personal, so magnetic, so utterly intimate about you saying it that just makes him want to listen to it forever. He also likes the way you moan his name while you two are f-

On Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

He goes out of his way to make time for you. If you need him, he’ll drop whatever it is he’s doing and speed on over to you. If someone tries to make fun of Levi about how much he loves you, he’ll just shrug, as if to say “So what?” He only has a lifetime to love you, so why should he hide that fact? He’s not ashamed, and never will be. 

PDA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

I’d like to think that Levi keeps the PDA to a minimum. He doesn’t like seeing couples making out right in front of his salad so he doubts other people want to see you two snogging each other in the middle of a Wendy’s, either. That can wait until you two are alone. He is, however, comfortable with wrapping his arm around your waist or holding your hand in public. 

The two of you don’t need to say anything about your relationship. The way Levi’s eyes soften in adoration while looking at you is a dead give away. There’s just something about you that makes Levi (who’s normally so tense) relax a bit. People just know you two are together.

Quirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

Really good with directions for some reason. He doesn’t even need to have the GPS on while he’s driving to a place neither of you have ever been. He’ll read over the directions on Google Maps before starting the car then you two are off. Even if there’s an unexpected detour, he still finds a way there. I don’t know how he does it.

Had to learn how to do this because A) he refuses to let Hange drive and B) Hange sucks at navigating and the two of them nearly ended up in a lake after Hange insisted that they knew a shortcut. Also consider C) Levi is just annoyingly good at everything and picks up on things fast 

Romance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

I firmly believe that Levi is an acts of service kind of guy. He’ll pick you up your favorite food on the way home, change out the oil in your car so you don’t have to pay ridiculous prices at the dealership, or even build you some niche piece of furniture you’ve been eyeing on Pinterest for MONTHS. 

It shows just how much he pays attention to you.  Things that you don’t really think about, something mundane or say off-handedly, Levi remembers. And he’ll always make sure to show you that he retains every single piece of yourself that you’re willing to share. Almost as if you were a puzzle Levi was hellbent on completing.

Support - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

He knows that you can do anything you set your mind to, which is one of the reasons why he fell in love with you in the first place.

When times are tough, or you just can’t help but succumb to that little voice in your head, Levi will be there for you. You can let your guard down, it’s okay. He’ll be strong for the both of you.

Thrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

Levi appreciates routine. In a world that’s so busy, disorganized, and just overall confusing, he’s always tried to maintain some semblance of control over his daily life. That was until you pranced into his life. You literally rocked his world and threw everything out of orbit. He still loves you even if you did give him whiplash <3

He’s okay with trying new things as long as he has you by his side. 

Understanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

He can read you pretty well, but he likes to be an annoying little shit and make you spell everything out for him. “Communication is the foundation of a strong relationship” my ass

And yes. Extremely empathetic. Have you met Levi? Manz was out here gripping a dying soldier’s hand to comfort him when we were introduced to him. Levi knows you like the back of his hand. He’ll always try to see things from your perspective before saying anything. This helps with giving advice and/or preventing an unnecessary argument. 

Value - How important is the relationship to them? What is it worth in comparison to other things in their life?

You’re pretty damn high up there. You became a constant in Levi’s life the second he realized just how much he cared about you. He’ll do as much as possible to make sure you two can keep a strong, healthy bond. 

It’s hard for Levi to let people into his life, much less let them get so close to him. He actively tries to keep everyone at arm’s length. He has a tendency to build a wall around him as a defense mechanism because he’s afraid of losing people. So when he decides to let someone in, they’re immediately going to be held near and dear to Levi’s heart. These relationships are very important to Levi, and they’re probably where he finds the strength and courage to keep moving forward.

Wild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon

He always gets you a small gift on the day of the month y’all got together, so like a little monthsary sort of deal. Nothing too major, he doesn’t want to be like those couples that go all out every month. He feels like that defeats the purpose of anniversaries. It doesn’t occur to you why he buys you flowers or some little knick knack that you’ve been wanting on the same day of every month.

XOXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

You’re gonna have to take initiative most of the time. Not because he doesn’t like physical intimacy, but because he’s kind of shy and also does not want to make any moves without your consent. That being said, Levi’s best nights are the ones where he gets to fall asleep with you in his embrace and vice versa.

Further along in your relationship, he’ll just plop down next to you and pull you on top of him. When you try to complain, he’ll just tuck your head into his neck and mumble, “Shut up. I want to take a nap.”

Yearning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

When you go on a trip without him, Levi likes to keep himself busy. He’ll clean, work on some DIY project, hang out with Erwin and Hange, work out, whatever. The tiny voice in his head just doesn’t know how to shut up about you, whether you’ve eaten that day, what you’re up to, if you’re safe. He’ll be awaiting your random little texts throughout the day, and almost feels giddy when he sees your name pop up on FaceTime. Levi can pretend that he doesn’t miss you, scoff when you tease him about it, but he can’t hide the blush that threatens to rise up his face that confirms it.

Zeal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

Yes, absolutely. Levi is strong willed and fights for the things he believes in, and he believes in the bond that you two share. There are layers to this man, and he trusts you enough to let his guard down so you can pick him apart and build him back up again. And that is enough reason for him to keep fighting for the both of you. 

Work belongs to @ryukatters. Please do not share on Tiktok or repost without my permission. 

[zuluc]

@castedorrsgraveyard requested: Heya! I wonder, maybe you can write something for Zhongli? Maybe reader woked up very early, so she finally saw him softly sleeping with all that gorgeous hair spread all over pillow and all? Or just soft morning fluff? Thank you so much!!

pairing: zhongli x gn!reader

style & genre: written; fluff

warnings: none

notes: this is another addition to the morning fic series ☺️ i can’t believe i haven’t done the ceo of geo yet

and no this was not posted earlier than intended 😀

Whether it be from the countless errands and tasks from the day before or his natural way of sleeping, Zhongli doesn’t move an inch when you lean on his chest with your chin planted upon your hand. Your gaze wanders over his softened features and you make a move to flick his nose lightly.

There is no response to your actions, not even a little scrunch, and you sigh. However, this was a nice moment to wake up to. He tends to wake up much earlier than you do and there is never a missed opportunity to kindly drag you along a morning routine. But to see the man in such a vulnerable state opposite to his usual stiff yet kind self, it definitely is something you could get used to.

Zhongli’s chest rises and falls with each deep breath he takes and you take a few more moments to simply admire him. His eyes are shut and you can finally see how long his eyelashes are from this angle, his mouth is settled into a straight line as he breathes through his nose (you joke about how he sleeps like a board), and his hair is loose from it’s binding and spread out.

Oh, his hair.

The contrast of dark brown and gold against the white of the pillows definitely catches your eye. An archon, you know he is, is ethereal in their own right but in something as simple as this? Maybe you were too in love with him to create such a bias.

Your free hand reaches out to card through the silky strands, thankful to find them free of tangles because you’d hate to interrupt his rest with a feeling of his hair being tugged. The locks slip through your fingers like water and they lay back perfectly against the fabric. With one last look at his face you sigh and settle with your head on his chest as you go back to sleep.

Right at that moment Zhongli’s eyes slowly open. He woke to the sound of your sigh and not the other actions beforehand. It was a pleasant tune to hear as it technically is the sound of your voice. Maybe he’d compliment it like how you do for his own.

For now, he looks down and sees that you’ve slipped back into slumber, lulled into dreamland once more by the warmth of him and the sound of his heartbeat. His left arm is almost around you anyways as you had found a way beforehand to fit against him before admiring so he closes the embrace to hold you steady. He shifts you more on top of him as he sits up slowly.

Your soft snores are indicative and he looks at you fondly, a hand coming to the back of your head as he places a soft kiss to your forehead in greeting. At this you open your eyes for the second time that morning after only a few minutes in another dream. You’re surprised how easily you slipped back into a tired world and right out.

But the feeling of him really does the trick, doesn’t it?

“Good morning, dear,” the deep timbre of his voice resonates through his chest. You nuzzle closer to him, content with that feeling and comfortable against him.

“Morning,” your voice is slightly muffled and Zhongli knows that you would rather stay in bed all day if it weren’t for him. But he decides to grant you that wish today. After all, there was no work to be done for once.

He doesn’t say anymore much to your chagrin but he does pull you closer, hugging you tightly, a solid embrace. You let out a little gasp but stay still and he doesn’t do much more until you’ve relaxed. You both stay like this for a little longer until the sun peeks through your windows to rest the light near your eyes.

Zhongli feels you shift but he doesn’t let you move much more when he’s hoisting you up and off the bed, carrying you to the kitchen. On the way he leans down to kiss you fully and it’s a firm affirmation accompanied by another “good morning.”

What a wonderful start to the day.

[fictionplumis]

Part 1

Listen I’m dumb so here’s more of that Ren Faire AU. I will not write an actual fic because my attention span is funky but anyone else can and they can either use this or not use this but here’s how these losers get together in my head. 

So Jaskier already knows he’s got a hard on for Geralt, obviously, he knew that from day one but he didn’t realize it could get WORSE, and it does get WORSE. It’s a couple weeks into Geralt working there and he’s busy so Jaskier doesn’t get to see him that often besides, like... Around the Faire sometimes, when Geralt is checking equipment and things and running errands, so obviously he’s dressed like he belongs at the Faire, which is super attractive and fits Geralt like a dream, plus he’s always kind of sexy and covered in dust or with a smear of grease on his nose from working on something, Jaskier is so down with that. 

Meanwhile Geralt also only sees Jaskier during the Faire and he likes Jaskier, is the thing. Jaskier got him the job, and it’s actually a pretty good job, he likes having a steady income and the work keeps him busy. He doesn’t actually have to deal with people. He also gets to travel. As much he liked fixing the old lady’s sink across the hall every other month (because she was old, and a plumber would take advantage of her, and she doesn’t have a lot of money to begin with, and he’s hardly ever busy and it’s just that the piping is old and keeps coming loose so it’s not even inconvenient) she doesn’t pay him with money, she pays him with overripe papaya and Yen was right, he actually needed a real job. 

He also likes Jaskier because Jaskier is just nice. Jaskier can talk enough for twelve people, so he’s never bothered that Geralt doesn’t have much to say. And he catches on quick to Geralt’s dry humor and snickers at his awful jokes. Geralt’s gruff attitude and perpetually bad mood never seem to dull his so yeah, Jaskier is just a general joy to be around. 

Then one night he can’t sleep so he decides to go wandering around. It’s two AM, the moon is bright, the air is fresh, it’s just NICE out and then he sees Jaskier sitting off at a picnic table and is like, okay, let’s go see what the bard is up to this early in the morning. 

He gets close enough and they both just freeze. Deer in headlights when they see each other. 

Because Jaskier is sitting there in sweatpants and an oversized shirt, eating Taco Bell he had Doordash drop off fifteen minutes ago and writing in a leather journal with a god damn fountain pen that looks like a big feather. Geralt has never seen Jaskier look so human before. He looks vulnerable and young and absolutely beautiful. 

Meanwhile Geralt is wearing an undershirt and jeans that show of his arms and this scar on his shoulder that Jaskier is dying to put his mouth on, and Geralt ALSO looks very human, and real, and not like some 16th century myth of a man, but like someone Jaskier could sit next to and lean against and talk to and maybe even drag this poor man back to the showers and wash out his hair because it had that look to it like Geralt had been sweating all day and hadn’t bothered to rinse it out well. 

They both realize right then and there that they are FUCKED. 

Geralt is like “Couldn’t sleep.” And Jaskier is like, “Need to keep my pop song list updated.”

And it’s awkward until Jaskier invites Geralt to sit down under the pretense of listening to his pop song covers and Geralt obliges but admits that he’s not really a music person, so he’ll probably just say that all of them are fine. And Jaskier’s like, “Cool, I was only going to pretend to take your opinion into consideration anyway, just to be polite.” 

They might make out that night. Who knows. Maybe they just decide that they like each other’s company way more than they thought at first so they keep meeting up like that and THEN make out one night. But they definitely make out one night. 

And after Geralt might end up calling Yennefer in a slight panic because he made out with the bard and fuck, now what, does this mean we’re dating, do I take him on a date, where do you think he would like to go on a date, he makes this little noise when he likes something and it’s great, I want to kiss him more but what if he doesn’t want to kiss more, Yen help. And she laughs and hangs up on his ass. The good thing is while Geralt is gruffly awkward in a way that doesn’t come across as awkward, Jaskier can not only talk for twelve people but also has enough confidence for twelve people, and the next morning he bounds over to kiss Geralt’s cheek and tell him his hair looks like shit and needs a good condition before work.

[monikafilefan]

Love your writing so much! Can you write a New Year’s fic set in season 6 where they actually kiss? No Fowley angst if you can? Thank you

Thanks so much. This turned out longer than I hoped so I’m a little late, but I hope you enjoy. Takes place just before Tithonus.

——

10:02 PM: Mulder swallows another mouthful of Shiner Bock, letting the alcohol warm him from the inside out. He sets the beer bottle next to the other empty ones with a clink and the beat of the music vibrates along the golden table cloth beneath him. Laughter and muffled conversations of fellow agents fill the silence of isolation he’s purposely surrounded himself in.

He doesn’t want to be here. Not at this New Years Eve bureau mandated banquet, sticking out like a black sheep among the herd of Kersh-loving ass-kissers, and certainly not forced to appease the Deputy Director in the name of another successful year of wielding justice. He sure as hell doesn’t want to celebrate the loss of his life’s work to his ex-wife and Kersh’s errand boy he’s currently hiding in a dark corner from. Wielding justice…

What a crock of shit.

But Scully is here, and the loss of his near constant contact with her is something he will never celebrate acknowledgement of. Not ever. He feels their absence on the files like a missing puzzle piece, teasing him with its existence lingering just out of his reach. Yet as he stares longingly at her across the room in her black satin dress, drinking wine as red as her lips, and smiling with their peers from the bullpen, Mulder can’t help but smile in return.

10:38 PM: Scully turns his way and scans the room, her big blue eyes flickering from person to person. She’s searching for him, he thinks. He knows. He’d told her hours earlier he decided to forgo following rules forcing him to be social. And still she looks for him, hopeful, unable to accept he can truly leave her partnerless for even one night. She’s right. As he sips at another Shiner, Mulder knows the heat of the beer isn’t the only thing warming his chest tonight.

A slow song begins to play as the lights dim. His pulse quickens at the thought of asking her to dance. Of holding her petite body close to his. Of kissing her at the stroke of midnight. He stands, unable to resist the pull of her proximity a moment longer, when another man swoops into his eye-line and offers Scully his hand.

Mulder’s fists clench as an agent from the lab arrogantly claims her bare back with his meaty hand, sloppily twirling her around the dance floor. Her surprised laughter is as loud as it is fake, but she doesn’t pull away. She accepts his hand with a tight-lipped smile and promptly stares at her three inch stilettos instead of at the man attempting to woo her.

Mulder does the same while his nostrils flare with every indignant breath.

Turning away, he picks at the yellow label on the bottle until only the brown glass reflecting his scowl is showing.

10:55 PM: He hears Scully laugh again. Then again and again. He doesn’t know what she’s chuckling about or who with, but it doesn’t matter when she’s enjoying her last remaining hours of 1998. She’s having fun drinking and dancing, he tells himself. She deserves this. He wants her to be happy, always. He just refuses to watch someone else make her that way.

This time, when a high-pitched, unScully-like laughter slices through the sound of his heart thudding against his eardrums, his gut clenches along with his fists.

11:02 PM: One hour and four - no five - beers later, Mulder is ready to leave. To flee, more like it, when a thick hand slaps at his back.

“Agent Mulder,” Skinner’s voice booms over the music. “Glad to see you decided to show up.”

He scoffs, “I was summoned.”

Skinner glances at him, his heavy hand squeezing the meat of Mulder’s shoulder; hard. “You mean she asked or you wouldn’t be here,” he corrects, nodding towards Scully draining yet another glass of wine. “She wants you here, Mulder. I suggest you remember that.”

11:32 PM: Mulder does remember that. In fact, that’s all he’s been thinking about for the past half hour when he lost sight of Scully within the crowd. After dodging both Diana and Spender, three agents requesting a dance, and one persistent secretary’s offer for much more than that, Mulder halts his search for his partner and ducks into the restroom to break the seal.

He glances at his cell phone. No service. Goddammit.

The entire time he’s been looking for Scully, the sickening thought of her having left with someone else has weighed heavily in the back of his mind. He should’ve taken Frohike up on his offer of Mexican and movies and saved himself the heartache.

11:44 PM: “Yes, I do know I’m leaving before the ball drops, and no, I don’t have a date I’m waiting for,” Mulder repeats to Agent Matthews at the coat check.

“You want one?” he asks, smirking. “Because I’m outta here in ten.”

“Oh uh,” Mulder can’t help but smile. “Thanks, but I’ll have to pass.”

“I knew it. But hey, a guy can dream.” The man shrugs and hands Mulder his jacket. “Agent Scully is one lucky woman.”

“You’ve seen her?” Mulder questions, ready to interrogate the poor guy. “Did she leave?”

“Maybe,” Matthews says, chuckling at Mulder’s unabashed desperation. “But I’ve seen her walk by looking for someone special a couple times earlier, though. I guess that someone was you.”

“Yeah, thanks. Have a good night,” Mulder groans as he walks away, feeling more and more like an asshole as the minutes tick by.

11:50 PM: Mulder makes his way down the side stairwell and shuffles past the ladies room tucked away in an alcove at the end of the hall. Fireworks spark outside the window next to him and he can’t help but wonder if Scully is looking at them, too.

He sighs, takes three steps, and stumbles when a flash of red catches his eye.

“Scully?”

“Mulder, you’re here!” she praises, her cheeks flushed with wine. Her eyes flick down to his coat slung over his arm and her smile fades. “You’re leaving.”

He falters, shifting in his Wingtip Oxfords he’d worn just for her. “You know me, Scully,” he feigns nonchalance. “I’d rather pull out my hair than kiss the asses of the ‘powers that be’ more than I’m forced.”

Scully shakes her head and is quiet a moment before boldly brushing a lock of hair from his brow. “Can’t have that now, can we?”

He stifles a moan. The familiar feeling of her touch lulls him where they stand. “A full head of hair means that much to you, does it, Scully?”

“Mm…” She nods while his hand covers hers sliding gently across his scalp. “You do have great hair.”

“Melvin will be crushed.”

She laughs - this it’s time for him - and Mulder swears it’s the most beautiful sound echoing through the hall. They continue to stand in the hallway, staring at one another as her fingers dance through his hair, letting the soft melody of the muffled music fill the silence.

“So why show up then?” she finally asks, her fingers trailing over the shell of his ear, down to his cheek, hovering there. “Why come at all?”

The alcohol that flows through her veins, leaving her open and vulnerable deserves only honesty from him. “Because you’re here,” Mulder confesses.

“I am.” Her eyes hone in on his fingers twining through hers. “And you were about to leave without saying goodbye?” She arches a brow, pins him with an accusatory stare. “Or hello, for that matter?”

“I-you were enjoying yourself out there. You were…” he sighs, guilt washing over him for not being a better partner to her. For not walking out on that dance floor and showing her exactly how much he appreciates her. How much he loves her. “Scully…”

“Mulder, it’s okay. I get it, really.” She rolls her eyes, tapping his tie with a manicured nail. “Plus, Skinner told me that if you’re as smart as your IQ says you are, you’d be here to ring the new year with me.”

“Ha!” It’s Mulder’s turn to roll his eyes, imagining the AD just itching to dance with his beautiful partner. “I’ll bet he did.”

“I told him you were smarter.”

Mulder’s heart began to race at the husk in her voice. “And if I hadn’t shown up?” he wonders. “I have a feeling Skinner and every other person in that ballroom would give anything to dance with you tonight.”

“They asked to dance with me, Mulder, not date me.”

Mulder’s jaw clenches at that, his free hand dipping down to settle gently at the base of her spine.

“And besides,” she arches into him, amused and emboldened. “There’s only one person I wanted to dance with tonight.”

“Scully.” His voice catches when her sapphire eyes snap up to lock onto his, imploring him to say more. “I-you looked… you look...” The liquid courage swirling though his mind gives him the nudge he needs. He touches her face, softly tracing the slope of her jawline from her ear to her chin. She hums and he melts. "...Stunning, Scully. You look stunning.”

Her half-grin twitches higher. "Bet you say that to all the girls, Mulder."

“No,” he denies in earnest. “Only you.”

She nods slowly, unblinking, as if she’s always known. Her eyes are large and luminous in their dimly lit corner, the deep blue sea of them beckoning him into dangerous waters. Lashes fluttering under his gaze, she leans into him like a feral kitten, fierce and unyielding in her affection. And it’s a good thing, Mulder thinks as he leans in too, that he’s an excellent swimmer.

“You showed up, Mulder,” she whispers. Her tiny hands skim down to his waist and tug his body flush to hers. “Thanks.”

“Don’t thank me for that,” he begs. “Don’t thank me for anything.”

He palms her neck and she allows his hand to wander up into her hair, tangling the silky waves through his fingers. He watches her eyelids flutter half shut, her lips parting.

“And why did you come, Scully?” he blurts, curious.

“Why do you think?” she retorts, challenging him. Suddenly, Mulder knows exactly why she came. Why she’s still here, staring up at him with dark eyes and rocking against him with hardened nipples.

He forgets to breathe.

“Tell me,” he says, cradling the base of her skull and letting his forehead fall forward against hers.

“No,” she breathes while stroking the curve of his ribcage, nudging the tip of his nose with her own. “I’ll show you.”

Her eyes flutter shut and a gush of warm breath tickles his cheek. As he leans down, her cushy lips press softly to his and his heart threatens to burst from his chest.

Her mouth tastes of red wine and sugar - a tart sweet-filled sin laced with a hint of blush-colored lipstick. She tastes more satisfying than any dessert. She tastes like raw desire.

Reluctantly, he pulls his hips away from her soft belly when his rock hard want for her becomes impossible to ignore.

She whimpers with her arms now wrapped around his neck, tugging him down for more.

Mulder gulps and kisses her nose, her cheek, inhales the fruity scent of her shampoo. He breathes her in while keeping a lung full of her essence within his chest. The warmth of her baby soft skin beneath his lips makes him wonder if he’s having an out of body experience: an erotic X-File, as his soul quite possibly ascends into the unknown.

A sudden cacophony of cheers bursts through the cracks of the heavy ballroom doors. Mulder jumps while Scully clutches at his back, keeping him close. Their heavy breathing mingles with the chorus of Auld Lang Syne playing in the background as fireworks boom outside the window pane. Bursts of copper and cerulean stream across the ink-black sky and it rumbles the carpet beneath their feet, reminding him that, yes, his feet are still on solid ground.

Two hours, two minutes, and one kiss from Dana Scully are all it takes for his world to tilt on its axis.

“Wow. Wha… what was that?” he gasps dumbly.

Scully arches brow. "I would have thought that's fairly obvious," she purrs. "You asked me why I came here, so I kissed you."

"Yeah, I know that, Scully, believe me. But...” Fuck, he berates himself. Why does his conscience hate him so damn much?

“Shh, just shut up and kiss me again,” she slurs.

His eyes flutter shut. He wants this - wants her - more than his next breath, but she’s been drinking, he remembers. They both have. “Shit, I want to, badly. But I think,” he hesitates, no more than a whisper, “I should hail us a cab.”

“Mulder…”

“In case you don’t remember these last few minutes when you wake up in the morning,” Mulder explains further. “Or worse, you regret them when you do.”

“But…” Scully frowns, hiccuping as she sways within his arms. “Okay…” she sighs, rolling her forehead against his sternum and mumbles to herself, “Fine, but the cab’s on you.”

“Deal,” he chuckles, his love for her growing with each passing second. His lips brush against the crown of her head, his palms smoothing over her hair and down to the lithe bare blades of her shoulders. “I can do that.”

“Happy New Year, Mulder.”

12:10 PM: This year, Mulder thinks as he waves down a cab. This year will be different. When Scully’s pinky loops through his, he squeezes it in promise. This year, he will do better.

“Happy New Year, Scully.”

And next time, when he looks into her eyes and tells her he loves her again, Scully will finally believe.

Tagging @today-in-fic

[lausterholes]

Thank you so much for the last request! I’m so happy to have found this blog💛 is it okay if I would love to request Prosciutto, DIO and Jotaro as a Sugar daddy?

It’s more than okay! I’d love to continue this sugar daddy series!  (づ◔ ͜ʖ◔)づ(づ◔ ͜ʖ◔)づ(づ◔ ͜ʖ◔)づ(づ◔ ͜ʖ◔)づ

Warning: NOT SFW/ Age gap/ Sugar daddy-baby relationship

- Mod Lauster

▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀

Sugar daddy!Prosciutto

▀ Oh ho ho, here we go. One of the top tier sugar daddy; Prosciutto.

▀ Who’s the one that is always up for daddy kink? Him. No one can argue to me about that, no matter what.

▀ To be honest, Prosciutto always dreamed of the idea of him having a sugar baby. Due to his schedule that always full of mission and works, he doesn’t have any time for himself. Or he had, but end up finding some high-end prostitute to please himself.

▀ Even though he had fun with that, but somehow, Prosciutto feels like it’s not enough. Just a one night fun can’t satisfy him in the long term. He wants that real kind of affection- by real kind- I mean someone that he could be with when he needs, not just a random streetwalker each night.

▀ In one of the Passione’s ceremony, Prosciutto caught his eyes on someone. And that someone just happens to be you. Once his eyes sparkled with interest, Melone slips in and tell Prosciutto about you. You are an independent minor member of the gang, running an honest errand and living in such a mediocre state. 

▀ You, the girl who’s unintentionally become a gangster, is standing among the tight crowds of mafioso. You weren’t actually lost, you just waiting for your friends which nowhere to be found inside the main hall, drink in hand. You truly look like a lost lamb in his eyes.

▀ You are about to give up stay here all night; Prosciutto approached you. Taken back, the man in front of you is far more than gorgeous, you can’t help but forgot your dang name. 

▀ Someway, somehow, you end up talking with him about your life, how did you being here, how the damsel in distress you are, and almost slip of how he could be this beautiful. Prosciutto takes a risk; he invites you to the restaurant after the ceremony is over. Gladfully, you accept.

▀ It’s not so hard to twist your arm for being his sugar baby. Face it, who wouldn’t? 

▀ He is a very patient man, he wouldn’t let you get what you want easily. Teasing to no end. Not just with his black cards or stuff you want. But with things on the bed too. He loves to degrade you, making you vulnerable and begging with all your wills.

▀ He is rough, really rough. Better expect for spanking and a lot of hair-pulling while you both having sex.

▀ Will call you whore, slut, puttana, or whatever degrading names into your ears. After being humiliated both physically and mentally, he will pamper and compliment you, how good you did. He will reward you later with a bunch of money too.

▀ Show. You. Off. Everywhere. Prosciutto wouldn’t really care if someone stared at him weirdly for having such a younger girl like you in his arms. He proudly marks you as his, not only with hickies but with possessive behavior he has. He shows everyone that you’re his baby girl, his, and his only.

▀ 9.5/10

▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀

Sugar daddy!DIO

▀ Isn’t this ancient vampire already is a sugar daddy? lol. He pays his money on girls and having them down on their knees, all the time.

▀ Being attractive to both men and women, it’s not so hard to convince anyone he wants to swallow their pride and face the music. His charming as the brightest star upon the sky can lure any souls he wants without giving it a try. But the linger of the longing of affection inside him bothering DIO non-stop.

▀ But really? His life was colorful enough without love, there are only women that could give him his bloodline and ones that he could have fun with. Other than that? Nah, he doesn’t give a shit.

▀ Once again, DIO has wandered into the night to find someone, he doesn’t really care about their figure, their face, or their voice, he just wants to blow off some steam.

▀ Then, he just appears inside a random house, only to lure someone to be on their knees. You don’t have to take a guess; yes, that’s your house he’s been breaking in.

▀ Like the first appearance he had with Avdol, he stood there, on top of the stairways, waiting for the homeowner. It’s not a surprise when he sees your gaze wander to him in terror and yet fascinated. His words formed into a deep whisper, ringing into your ears, seductively.

▀ It takes not so long to willingly fall into his sweet nothings. But before he could go on or do something- you’ve picked up your stuff you’ve dropped before when you’ve met him. It was an expensive book you spent your days and night working to own it.

▀ Isn’t that DIO is fully interested in what you’ve been holding, but he thinks that you might really love to read, even you couldn’t afford that book. He smiles and invites you to his estate once again, not just to be with him, but for you to have a million books to read.

▀ It started off with that, there are many people out there who loves to read just like you- but because of something, he truly wants to keep you by his side for a while. And he has everything you need to provide, sounds good, isn’t it?

▀ As long as you’re still by his side, DIO will spoil you rotten. Wants new clothes? Go on. New books? Take my black card. New house to stay? You betcha. He will please you if you please him.

▀ DIO is not someone that withholds his desire. He would do anything with you. Inside the bedroom, he’s rough. Expect for bloodplay and breeding kink, you have to take his loads inside your little womanhood until the end of the day. You won’t easily have a break especially if you wore something that is too ‘seductive’, or just being near him in general.

▀ Talk to him, make him interested in you as long as you want, he will give you everything you need. Just give him your heart, body, and very soul. 

▀ 9/10

▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀

Sugar daddy!Kujo Jotaro

▀ Jotaro, oh, Jotaro.

▀ Although he didn’t care, if he committed to love someone, he would be a faithful person in a healthy relationship. A kind of one that we’ve always been dreamed of, instead of such a happy never after everyone has been falling for.

▀ But... This is different than he thought it would be. It’s not that he’s not happy about it- but he just genuinely think it’s disorderly strange.

▀ He just didn’t expect himself to have a sugar baby after all.

▀  It was started when he has finished university and wander somewhere else to take some time off. After the hell of thesis and shit he has been through, Jotaro fully thinks he will have a break this time.

▀  And somewhere, someway, somehow, Jotaro ended up in bed with a stranger- No, not really, but he didn’t acquaint with you that much. You were the girl he saved from the stand user that recognize him and tried to use you as a hostage.

▀ Once in years, Jotaro truthfully has no idea what to do. It was so blurry the night before. How did he end up in your bed????

▀ When he tried to apologize- only to gets your confession in return, you saying that you can be useful in every way that you can, you will follow him to the end of the line, revealing your ability and stuff. You weren’t pushing him too much, the guy just so intimidating and looks like he’s always annoyed by everyone’s presence anyway. 

▀ He did think about it- he had crossed the line without noticing it; if he left you with the feeling like this, the situation will be more tangled in the future. So he accepts it without a choice.

▀ The time you spent with him draw you both closer to one another. A deep conversation, sharing your interest, and maybe just a nice dinner. Quickly, this ambiguous relationship started to form its shape.Not really close to a lover, and far away from fuck buddy. He pays everything you need, tuition, renting, and many more...

▀ So this is what his old man was talking about then? Sugar baby. Jotaro sighed while inserting money in your pocket.

▀ Jotaro is a man of a few words. He doesn’t dirty talk that much, the only thing you can hear is grunting and groaning from him. More than his voice, he is a very stoic man from a very start, he loves edging you, making you yearn for more and more.

▀ Did anyone say cock warming? Yes, give this man cock warming. He loves to have you sit still on his cock while he’s working on paper, or letting you help while you’re still in this position.

▀ It’s a very high chance for you to develop into his real lover, but for now, the old man like him and a young girl like you need a long way to go.

▀ 8.5/10

▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀

[arrancarscenarios]

Any Nnoitra fluff..? Please..?🥺💛

HI, I’M SOBBING... I love this man so much.............

When you come into Nnoitra’s room to lie down with him, it’s late.

You had some things to do, work or errands that kept you away until now. It’s nearly midnight in the human world, and although you know by now that Hollows don’t need nearly as much sleep as humans, your so-called boyfriend is already passed out among the blankets on his floor. (Those things are all soaked in a mix of your scent and his, which is a weird point of pride for you.)

Any of your things are set in their usual places, and you know you need to carefully wake him up before you slip in beside him. If you do and he wakes up to find somebody suddenly next to him… well. It hasn’t boded well in the past, so you’ve learned how to avoid surprising him like that. So you peel back part of the blankets that seem like they’re on top before easing yourself under them.

Then, you reach over to put a hand on his shoulder. You need to bring him out of sleep gradually so as not to jar him. Just awake enough to let him know that you’re here, that if he wakes up with a warm body next to him, it’s you, but not awake enough that he can’t get back to sleep shortly after.

Before you get too far, a groan slips past his lips. “F’ck…” You’d noticed that you could hear his breathing as you came in; now, this close, it becomes apparent that it’s actually panting.

Despite the fact that there are no actual tears, Nnoitra is breathing as if he’s crying.

“(Name),” you manage to make out in between all his other muttering. “(Name), please… need you… I need… need you… where… c’mon… where ‘re you… (Name)…”

The way he’s saying your name, begging for you to just be with him, is — shocking. It’s something you’ve never even remotely heard from him. That’s not Nnoitra. Nnoitra is not soft or pathetic enough to say that he needs you or to call for you in the middle of the night. He must be having some awful nightmare, something that’s made him vulnerable enough that crying for you is the least humiliating option.

What could possibly be going on inside that head of his? Your poor boyfriend. You wonder, you hope, that when you wake him up from this, he won’t be embarrassed to the point that he’ll send you away tonight. No matter how much he might fight it, you know he needs to have you close. Even when he’s feeling weak. Especially when he’s feeling weak.

You move your hand up from his shoulder into his hair. It’s all tangled around him, so long you’re surprised he doesn’t get lost in it, and you slowly start to comb your fingers through the copious black strands. “Nnoitra,” you hum softly. “Hey, honey. It’s me.”

Your touch and voice seems to bring on another round of distress. What sounds like a choked-off sob leaves him, along with a desperate whimper that breaks your heart. “(Name)… fuck, fuck… please… (Name)… (Name), where you’re at…? (Name)… (Name)…”

“Nnoitra, shhh, shh. Hey, wake up, babe.” You keep your voice quiet, not wanting to startle him, but wanting him to come out of this dream that’s torturing him so badly.

It takes a moment, then suddenly his eye snaps open. He’s not really focusing, still sort of back in the dream even though he’s awake, and he immediately scrambles in an attempt to get the blankets off. “(Name)! Th’ fuck?! Where the fuck are y—?!”

Your hands quickly run through his hair again, segueing to rest on his cheeks. “Hey, hey, hey. Nnoitra. I’m here. I’m right here. Everything’s okay. It’s me.”

“The… the fuck…” You can tell his mind is still thinking about whatever was going on in his nightmare. Probably wondering what’s real and what’s not, maybe thinking that you speaking to him now is a dream. “… Dammit…”

“Shhhhh. It’s okay. Everything’s okay, hon.” You draw him closer to you, and he must still be half-asleep, because he lets you. He doesn’t return the gesture aside from vaguely leaning in, but he doesn’t actively push you away or pull back. “You were dreaming. I don’t know what was happening, but you kept saying my name.”

You’re almost certain you’ll never get him to tell you what was going on in the dream. It doesn’t really matter, not as much as the fact that he lays his head against your chest. You know why; your heartbeat. When he’s too tired to care what the hell you think of him being so ‘tame’, he practically invades your space and pushes himself right up against your heartbeat.

By this point, you understand the significance of that sound for Hollows. Even so, Nnoitra never says anything about it. He just does it. And usually if you say anything at all about it, he pushes away. That’s just how he is.

This time, when you press his head in, gently, and murmur, “Just listen to my heartbeat,” he doesn’t move. He just stays there, his eye squeezed shut, holding himself so tightly wound that he’s trembling from the effort of keeping his muscles so tense. He’s still breathing harshly, too, like he can’t relax.

Then again, you don’t think he’s ever really relaxed in the time you’ve known him. He’s not even all that calm when he’s asleep. But this is… a little different. Like he’s really disturbed just by the fact that, whatever happened in his dream, you weren’t there when he was calling for you.

“Try to slow down your breathing,” you murmur against the top of his head. Here in your arms, lying on your chest, he seems so small instead of being the intimidating force that always towers over you. He’s curling up, as if he’s trying to make himself seem smaller, which is so incredibly not Nnoitra Gilga that you think it must be some kind of Hollow instinct or something. “Everything’s okay, Nnoitra. I’m here. You’re safe.”

That appears to be the magic phrase. Suddenly he shudders like something dying, and his gaze jerks up toward you. That eye is wide, with a swirl of unidentifiable emotions making a storm inside it. You see relief. You see rage. You see despair. Disbelief. Joy. Disgust. Confusion. There are things within that one single look that you know he can’t ever express in words, and you don’t fully comprehend everything.

It looks like he wants to cry. He’s still not totally lucid, but he’s aware enough for his mind to sort of process what you said, and the reminder that you’re here and he’s safe with you makes him look like he wants to cry.

He stares at you like that for a long moment, then, hesitantly, you run your hand through his hair again. And again. And again. “You’re safe,” you repeat, in almost a whisper this time. “You’re safe because I’m here. I love you. I’m here, and you’re safe. I’m here. It’s okay. You’re okay. Take a deep breath for me. Focus on my voice and my heartbeat. I’m here now. You’re safe.”

Slowly, he actually listens to you. In the most submissive gesture you’ve ever seen from him, he lowers himself back down to rest his head on your heartbeat. It takes a moment, but eventually, his breathing becomes even, nearly matching the pace of yours.

You don’t think he’s ever going to be completely at peace. At least for this moment, though, it seems like he’s able to accept the fact that he’s safe. That everything’s okay, even if it’s only okay until the morning.

You’ve closed your eyes, continuing to pet his hair, and you think he’s fallen asleep again when out of nowhere, he sucks in a shaky breath.

“Fuck,” he mumbles with his face buried in your chest and your clothing bunched between his rail-thin fingers. “’m safe.”

[asian-hero]

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not, He Loves Me?

A/N: What’s up? Here I am, due to popular demand, with a part two to this angsty little thing I wrote. I hope you enjoy ;)

If you haven’t read the first part, I highly recommend that you do. This is a direct sequel to the events that happen in the last part

Also, perhaps I’ll write one last thing for this little fic in the future, you know, for fun

Edit: So... fifth times a charm, right? If this doesn’t show up in the tags again, I swear I’m quitting

Summary: After a long night filled with your quiet sobs and Shouto’s soft snores, you come to the conclusion that you’re a bad bitch who doesn’t need someone to love them in order to love yourself. However, when you try to distance yourself, Shouto finally reaches his answer to his on-going self doubt and love for you

Words: 3,138

It was around seven in the morning when you had woken up. As you sat up, you could feel a sharp pain rush to your head, causing you to groan. Pressing a hand to your forehead, you found yourself sighing at the slight relief you gained, though it wasn’t for long. Soon enough you could feel just how heavy your limbs were, and how difficult it was to just keep your hand up. Rubbing your face, you stood up, heading towards the kitchen, in hopes that a glass of water would help you to relieve your aching body.

As you stepped into the living room, you could hear the faint sound of snoring. Creeping slowly, you found Shouto curled up on the couch, the pillow doing almost nothing to stop the snores from emanating from the man. Squatting down, you went to run your fingers through his hair, before you froze. Remembering what he had admitted last night, your loving caress was about to turn into a sharp slap in the face if it weren’t for the fact that you were so whipped for him. Yanking your hand away as if you’d been burned, you stood back up, storming towards the kitchen, loudly opening your cabinets and grabbing a glass and filling it with water. While your plan had been to just walk away, to head back to your room, and lie to him when he inevitably woke up and asked why you were locked up in your room, something overcame you as you once again paused by the couch. Looking down at him, you weren’t sure what feeling stood out more: betrayal or anger. You felt betrayed at the fact that he wasn’t even sure if he loved you, at the fact that he thought he was using you in order to get back at his father. You also felt angry at the fact that, if that were the case, and he was just using you, then he had been leading you on for an entire year, letting you believe that he actually cared for you, that he actually loved you.

So, no one could truly blame you when you tipped your cup upside down, spilling the ice cold water onto the back of his head.

Jolting up, Shouto gasped for air as his eyes ripped open. Blinking a few times, most likely to get the water away from his eyes, he stared up at you, a look of confusion gracing his features.

“(Y/N), what—“

“Sorry, I thought your quirk would freeze it before it reached you. Though, I guess I just don’t know anything about quirks, because, well,” You pointed towards yourself, a hollow smile on your lips, “Quirkless.”

He furrowed his brows, this time moving to sit up straight. Reaching out to grab one of your hands, he frowned. “What are you talking about—“

“You know, we should really go and visit your father sometime, Sho. I bet he’ll be thrilled to hear how you completely dismantled his dreams of having a powerful grandchild.”

A flash of shock crossed his face, but it was nothing compared to the look of realization he had when you ripped your hand away from his his, curling in on yourself. He stood up, moving to hold you tight, but you were quicker. Side stepping his advances, you put on your best smile, letting out a fake gasp.

“Oh, that’s wonderful! You can move,” Pointing towards the door, your features turned from your happy go lucky persona to a deep scowl, “Now, get out.”

“(Y/N), I didn’t mean—“ He tried once more, but you wanted nothing more than for him to leave you be.

“(Y/L/N),” You started, your hand still pointed towards the door, “You don’t get to call me that anymore. Now leave, go sort out your daddy issues and leave me alone.”

You knew that you were being harsh, and to boil down his mixed feelings over his father as simple “daddy issues” was more than factually incorrect, but you couldn’t bother to care at this point. 

When he moved to gain your attention once more, you snapped your neck towards him, your eyes almost glowing with the amount of anger that you contained. “There is absolutely nothing that you can say to me that’ll fix what you did. So, instead of trying to force yourself to love me, and lead me on for God knows how long, why don’t you just leave?”

You didn’t even bother listening to what he had to say, as you shoved him out of your living room and out of your door, slamming it in his face. As you heard his footsteps slowly retreating, you couldn’t help the loud sob that ripped itself from your throat. Slamming your hands onto your mouth, you made desperate attempts to stop the vulnerable sounds from coming out of your mouth, but it didn’t work. So, as you continued to sob, you couldn’t help but crumple to the ground, suddenly too weak to hold yourself up any longer. 

You hated feeling like this, feeling as though you were broken. It reminded you too much of your younger self, when you questioned why you had to be one of the unlucky few children to be born without a quirk. When you were mercilessly taunted by others due to your quirkless state. Or when you had realized that your dream of becoming a hero, of being able to save people and put smiles on their faces, was practically crushed before your eyes. You hated that you felt weak, that you were weak. It made you even angrier at the fact that you were crying over some guy, his social status be damned.

So, you allowed yourself to wallow in self pity for a few more minutes, no longer bothering to hold back your sobs, before you forced yourself to stand. Wiping the leftover tears from your face, you took in a deep breath, and willed yourself to calm down. After all, it would do no one any good if you just sat on the floor crying. You allowed yourself to feel hurt, to feel sorrow at your first real relationship ending, but you refused to let yourself get consumed by grief. 

Smacking your cheeks lightly, you headed for your room, moving to get dressed for the day. Though, as soon as you took a step, the throbbing pain to your head had returned. All of your adrenaline had left your system, and now you were left with the mess that was your hangover. So, changing courses slightly, you headed over to your medicine cabinet, pushing things aside to find some ibuprofen.

First, you’d take care of your pounding headache. Then, you’d start your life over, without Shouto.

At least, that’s what you were trying to do.

It had only been a month since you had broken up with Shouto, and it was easily one of the worst months of your life. Not because you were desperate to get back together with him, but because somehow, you had managed to run into him everywhere you went, whether it be figuratively or literally.

If you were off running an errand, going to buy some fresh produce that you needed, you would be stopped by the crowd of thousands who gathered in the square to watch the number three hero fight along side the number one and two. As you walked through your grocery store, all you could hear about was how amazing Shouto was, and how whoever his partner was was lucky to have him. 

You wanted to throw up.

There was also another time when you were out for a jog, just wanting to clear your mind as work as piling up. As you were running by some little kids, you noticed one of them was holding their notebook tightly to their chest as the others seemed to be in awe. Jogging closer, you managed to hear bits and pieces of their conversation, with the kid squealing in delight at the fact that Pro Hero Shouto just gave them an autograph. It made you pause in your tracks, and, looking from side to side, you saw someone who looked suspiciously like your ex. He seemed to have noticed you too, as he made his way towards you.

Before he could even reach out, you were running in the opposite direction, figuring that you had enough exercise for the day.

However, one of the worst run ins you had was while you were just sitting on your couch, watching some late night talk show while eating straight out of an ice cream carton.

You were simply minding your own business, not bothering anyone, when the host introduced their next host: your goddamn ex-boyfriend.

As soon as his name was announced you nearly choked on your ice cream. While you wanted to just change the channel, maybe put on a wholesome baking show to relax to, your fingers froze when you saw him enter the set and take a seat down on the plush couch. Even though it had only been a month or so since you shoved him out of your life, he looked much different. Though, as you continued to watch, you came to the realization that he looked different because his hair was actually pushed out of his face, unlike his usual mop of bangs hiding his forehead. It bothered you how you still thought he was handsome, but you couldn’t deny it.

The entire interview was pretty standard, with the host asking him about his career as a hero, any advice he’d give aspiring heroes, how he felt about Twitter accounts that were dedicated to him. You know, all of the usual topics.

However, one question had caught your wavering attention:

“So,” The host asked, a wide grin appearing on their face as they leaned in, “How’s the love life of a pro hero?”

Shouto shifted in his seat, and it was obvious that he was uncomfortable. He did answer the question, though, and you sat up straighter, wanting to hear his answer.

“Ah, I’m sure that can’t be too interesting to hear about,” He said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Oh please! I’m sure we’d all like to hear if there’s a special someone, right?” The host egged on, gaining the cheers of the audience.

He tilted his head, almost as if weighing the outcome of whether or not he said something. Finally coming to a decision, he cleared his throat, and you could’ve sworn that you saw a blush rising to his cheeks.

“Well, there is this one person,” He started, and as the host ushered for him to go on, he continued, “She’s one of the best people that I’ve ever met. She’s kind and compassionate, and always puts the needs of others above her own,”

He laughs lightly as he says the next part, but you can tell that there’s a bit of sadness with it, “But she never lets herself become a doorstep for others. She knows when to put her foot down and when to stand her ground,”

“You seem to know a lot about that last part,” The host said, clearly attempting to get a rise out of him.

It didn’t work, mainly because Todoroki Shouto was just so painfully honest when it came to how he felt, almost to the point where it became a bit concerning. “Yeah, you could say that I’ve made some mistakes,”

You found yourself furrowing your brow, confused at the whole mess that was appearing right on your screen. It didn’t help that you knew that asshole was talking about you, and he was saying everything you wanted him to say. 

Not wanting to hear the rest of what he had to say, you went for the remote once more, but were once again stopped by the hosts’ next question:

“Well, do you love this girl?” The host questioned, milking this subject for all it was worth, “I mean, you practically just announced your feelings for her on national television,”

You felt your heart freeze in your chest as Shouto smiled, and nodded his head. “I really do. I didn’t get to tell her that, but I love her.”

In all honesty, you wanted to chuck your remote into the screen as hard as you could, but then you knew that you’d just have to pay for a new one, and you really didn’t want to spend money on your fit of rage. So, as the program had gone to a commercial break, you slammed down your ice cream carton and picked up your phone, calling someone that you hadn’t bothered with for a while.

It took a few rings before the person on the other line answered: “Hello?”

“What the hell was that?” You hissed, not bothering with any pleasantries.

There was a brief pause, and you almost thought that he’d just walked away before he cleared his throat awkwardly, “You saw the interview?”

“No, Todoroki, I just decided to call you up to yell at you because I felt like it— of course I saw the interview!”

“It’s Shouto,”

You ignored him, continuing on with your rant. “Did you really think that announcing indirectly that you love me was going to fix anything? What was your goal with that?”

“I didn’t know where the questions were going, I just thought I should just answer them honestly,”

You scoffed, and though you couldn’t see him, you could tell that he was frowning, “Oh, so you can say that you love me in front of the nation but you couldn’t tell me if you loved me a month ago?”

“That’s different,” He argued, but you were having none of it.

“It’s not different, Todoroki! A month ago you were telling me that you weren’t even sure if you loved me, or if you were just using me to get back at your dad! For a whole year, you couldn’t figure out if you loved me or not. Now, all of a sudden you’re trying to tell me that you finally figured it out?”

The silence at the other end of the line gave you your answer. Sighing, you did your best to keep your tears at bay, but after a month of denying yourself the opportunity to feel upset, the dams were starting to open up once more.

“Do you know how hard it was for me to hear that? How, on our anniversary, you decided to let me know that you may have been with me for the wrong reasons? It fucking hurt, you know that right?”

You cringed at how weak your voice sounded, but you were thankful that you could express your feelings at all, with all of the turbulent emotions swirling in your heart. 

“(Y/N)—“ He interrupted himself, starting over, “(Y/L/N), I want you to know that I’m sorry. I know that there’s nothing I can say to change what happened. I can’t pretend that what I said that night didn’t happen, and I can’t pretend that what I say was entirely untrue. I’m sorry that it took you getting hurt and leaving that I finally realized just how important you are to me.

You aren’t someone I used to get back at my father. I didn’t seek you out to make him mad, nor did I change my plans when I found out you were quirkless. When we started getting closer, and time went on, I started getting worried that I may have been using you, because not only did it seem like that to my friends, but because I didn’t want to hurt you either.”

You allowed for his words to sink in, digesting everything that he had to say. Sniffling, you wiped away some stray tears that had fallen past your cheeks. “That’s a dumb excuse,”

“I know, but it’s the only reasoning I have,” He said, and you could’ve sworn that you heard a bit of desperation in his voice.

“That was a shit move you pulled, saying you loved me on TV,” You stated, your frown still present on your face, “I would have rather you told me that in person.”

“Would you have let me?”

When you didn’t respond, he spoke once more: “Would you let me tell you now?”

You played with the hem of your shirt, honestly wanting to be anywhere but in this conversation. “I don’t know.”

Your answer didn’t seem to deter him, as his tone changed from one of sorrow to one of hope.

“Well, would it be alright if,” He paused, unsure of how you’d respond, “If I tried to prove myself to you?”

“Prove yourself?”

He let out a noise of agreement. “Prove to you that I’m not lying when I say that I’m in love with you. I won’t force you to do anything, and if you feel uncomfortable, I’ll stop.”

After a beat of silence, he quietly added, “If you don’t want this, I’ll leave you alone, and we can go back to avoiding each other,”

You took in a deep breath, before letting out a long sigh. As much as you tried to keep your feelings stowed away, you couldn’t lie to yourself. You still loved him, and you wanted nothing more than to just accept you right away, to just start off where the two of you left off. However, the rational part of your brain was telling you to slow down, that, even if you wanted this to happen, you couldn’t just forget what he said that night. 

So, you finally reached your answer.

“Don’t expect me to go easy on you,” You warned, your heart beating wildly, “I won’t say anything if you want to try, but I’m not going to just run back to you because of this.”

You wanted to laugh at the sigh of relief that came through the other side, along with a quiet “of course.” Glancing over at your clock, you noted that it was probably time for you to actually get some sleep. Stretching a bit, you got up, getting ready to sleep away your worries for the next handful of hours before your shift.

“I’m going now, goodnight, Todoroki.”

Though you couldn’t see him, you could feel a warmth shooting through your body as he huffed out a laugh.

“Goodnight, (Y/L/N),”

Hanging up the phone, you watched as the call screen faded, and you were returned to his contact information. A small smile tugged at your lips, and as you put your phone away, cleaning up the mess that was in front of you, you couldn’t help but wish him luck. 

Though, you weren’t quite sure if he was going to need it.

[aelin-queen-of-terrasen]

Could you do a fic where Jude gets amnesia and Cardan has to take care of her? (In elfhame and none of the people known what sickness she has lol). Please make it angsty and fluffy at the same time sjsjjsjs. Thank you so much if you do this! 💗

Ofc, love! I wrote this like, five times and just before I reached the end, I'd delete it so I'm quite proud for finishing at all.

Full Masterlist

cry me a river . . .

I wake up in an unfamiliar room, far too extravagant for my taste.

I grunt, momentarily blinded by the light seeping inside the chamber from the window before someone pulls it closed. The tall, lean figure comes over to sit at my bedside, touching the back of his hand on my forehead as if he is checking for fever. His hand feels warm against my skin and I almost whine when his touch disappears. Black dots swim across my vision and I have to blink a few times before I recognise the person sitting beside me.

Cardan Greenbriar.

If he has ever looked worse before, I cannot remember it.

Tear streaks run down his painted cheeks, glitter smeared all over. His coal black eyes, swollen and red, are fixed on me. I have the strangest feeling that I have seen this sight before, even though I have no recollection of seeing him so vulnerable. It is not something so small that I'd forget.

Did he find out I killed Valerian? That would explain the tears.

Perhaps he wants to finish what his friend started. It seems unlikely that he'd know but I can't think of another reason Cardan would abduct me and risk Madoc's wrath. It has to be the reason—

"Jude? How do you feel?" he asks.

He looks at me like I'm the most precious thing in his world. It scares me more than his hatred ever could.

"Stop," I choke out, stomach sinking more in fear with each passing second. "Tell me what—how am I here? If Madoc finds out you've been hiding me here, the consequences won't be pretty." I don't have to worry about him lying, because no lie can escape his tongue. I know faeries don't need the ability of lying to deceive someone.

Cardan frowns at me. "Liliver found you wounded across the clearing. You went to run an errand, got hurt and collapsed near the palace." I know what the words mean individually, but put together in one sentence, they don't make sense to me, which puts me further out of ease.

"Liliver?" The name tugs at my memory but I can't remember it.

He looks wildly concerned now. "The Bomb, Jude. She found you," he tells me before someone knocks on the door.

The Bomb.

Liliver is probably her true name; or part of it, at least. I wonder how Cardan knows it. I remember her as a part of Dain's court of shadows. The tiny, delicate girl slips inside the room when neither of them answer. Liliver holds a steaming bowl of soup in her hand, which elicits a series of rumbles from my empty stomach. I try to remember when I last ate and the moments from the previous night come crashing down on me: the horrible coronation, Locke's behaviour, her dance with Cardan and their peculiar conversation, then finally the butchering of almost all of the Greenbriar family.

I remembered running away with Cardan, hiding him in the court of shadows and the kiss we'd shared, my blade pressed against his throat. The implication that he liked me and he hated it. Surely, my present condition couldn't have something to do with it?

No, it couldn't have.

"How are you out of the office?" I turn to Liliver, who raises an eyebrow at me. "Who let him out? He is my prisoner, and you shouldn't have decided when he leaves." They exchange confused glances with each other.

Cardan furrows his eyebrows. "Leave? Jude, love, is this some kind of test?"

Balekin and Madoc planned against Dain and he is dead and the protection he'd given me could be over now. Cardan could glamour me into believing anything he wanted to. For all I know, he already has. I shove the panic down, resolved to find out more. If he had glamoured me, I'd be doing whatever he asked with blind devotion.

I ask the first of my questions. "Does Madoc know that I'm here?"

Both of them exchange worried looks. Liliver places a hand on my shoulder and says softly, "Jude, Madoc is in exile in the mortal world. He knows you're in the palace, of course, and we informed Vivienne you hurt yourself on a mission—she's probably on her way—so he also knows you're hurt, I think." My head swims. I can't wrap my head around all the information.

I blurt out the thing that shocks me most. "Madoc was exiled?!" Maybe everyone found out about his plot against the crown—

The doors to the bedroom are thrown open and there's commotion outside. I hear a voice I recognise well and Vivienne enters the bedroom, fuming and covered in sweat. She is panting, out of breath as she comes over to my side, discreetly pushing Cardan back. I am grateful for the familiarity but I cannot help but wonder if this is some elaborate game Cardan is playing, if it's really my elder sister or a product of faerie magic.

Vivi sits by my side, looking offended. "Do you have to face up all the dangers in the world alone, Jude?" Liliver observes me with a curious look. However, it is not her gaze that unnerves me but his. It sends shivers down my spine and I pretend I do not notice it. Vivienne is still talking to me, "honestly, would it kill you to share some load with your husband, Jude?"

I blink. "My husband? What—"

"Jude," The Bomb interrupts, "what is the last thing you remember?"

I am confused and scared and unsure if I should tell her. But she is from the court of shadows and I trust Vivienne. Cardan's presence is unsettling but there is no hint of cruelty and neither of them seem disturbed by his presence. So I tell them. "It was the coronation, Balekin—he killed Eldred and Dain is dead and Cardan and I escaped together and I took him prisoner." A blush rises to my cheeks when I realise what happened next, despite all my hatred for the youngest faerie prince—no, not the youngest. I recall my conversation with Oriana, Taryn's betrayal, Locke's lies and Madoc's plan. "Oak is the next in line for the throne, he's—Dain's child." No one looks surprised at the news, not even Vivi.

Cardan says with deliberate slowness, "Jude, you mean you don't remember anything after the day? Do you remember the arrangement we made?"

"What arrangement?" I don't know what he's talking about. It puts me at a disadvantage against him.

Cardan brings his hand close to me, as if he expects me to shatter. I do not shatter but I do flinch away from his touch. He looks like he wishes I'd struck him instead, blinking rapidly. For a moment, I swear those are tears in his eyes before they disappear.

"Jude," Vivienne says, breaking the silence, "I think there's something you should know."

⊶ ⊷ ⊶ ⊷ ⊶ ⊷ ⊶ ⊷

I listen in horror and fascination and barely supressed surprise as Vivienne narrates the tale to me. Cardan sits beside her, pitching in with details she doesn't know whenever the situation demands it. I grow more and more certain that this is something strange I have dreamed up with every word my sister utters.

It makes the perfect sense—my plan against Balekin and Cardan's role in it.

I remember thinking along those lines when I went to sleep that night, the only question being how I could secure Oak's throne. To be his seneschal but have the High King of Elfhame under my command—the thought alone is enough to make me heady with power but it grows worse as Vivienne reaches the part where Cardan asks me to marry him. I can tell they both tiptoed around what happened in the Undersea, Vivienne because she does not know what happened in there but the uncertainty in Cardan's eyes leaves me with no doubt that he knows what happened there. Perhaps I told him.

It is surprising that I am able to read him so easily, and the ease with which he talks to me implies he is comfortable around me. I keep looking for some hint of cruelty and rage and anger but he is all love and adoration and concern.

Vivienne reaches the part where Cardan turns into a serpent and I'm convinced this is some prank of theirs. Even in faerie, that sounds ridiculous.

But they can't lie, so when my apparent husband says, "It was hell, Jude. I didn't talk about it but it haunted my dreams. You told me it haunted yours too."

"I did?" It doesn't sound like me. "What—how did you come back?"

He looks at me, and his eyes shine with love and sincerity. "You brought me back. Madoc offered you a golden bridle to control the serpent but you chose to end it's life, even though keeping it as your slave would have made you an unchallenged queen of faerie."

Why? The words don't leave my mouth but sensing the question, Liliver answers. "Because you loved him, Jude, you chose to free him. You chose his peace above power, not knowing if he'd come back—"

"—but then he did," I finish for her. "I slayed the serpent and he came back?"

They all nod. I am surprised to hear the details, that the Undersea came to our aid. But it was out of love for Cardan that Nicasia allied with us. They recollect the aftermath to me, Madoc's exile and some of the events after.

Vivienne leaves to fetch me some water and mortal soup for quick healing. Liliver excuses herself soon after. When I look at him, there are tears in Cardan's eyes again, flooding down his cheeks. He makes no effort to hide them now.

"Why are you crying?" I ask, my voice barely above a hoarse whisper.

He shakes his head at me. "You forgot all the good parts, Jude. Without the good parts, I'm just a monster who gave you every reason to hate me."

"I don't hate you." The truth behind those words surprises me.

Even after all I've been told, the fact that I fell in love with Cardan Greenbriar is the one that makes the most and the least sense both at once.

"I—I need to be alone." Cardan's face morphs into one of hurt, and I feel the need to soothe it: "It's just—I need time to wrap my head around this."

He nods, "Take all the time you need."

Then he lifts an unsure hand, reluctant, and wipes a tear away from my face. I hadn't realised I was crying until now. He turns to walk away, his tail curled around his calf.

I say, "I'm sorry I lost all our memories."

"It's okay. We'll make new ones," he promises in a firm tone. And for a brief moment, I see what he talked about.

I see myself in love with him, so in love that I was prepared to sacrifice ambition for a small chance to have him back. I see us living together, teasing and taunting and completely in love with each other, ruling Elfhame side by side. I feel his phantom touch on my body from the night I danced with him at the coronation ball, before everything started—before our story began.

And even when the moment passes, I realise I can love him still, all over again.

⊶ ⊷ ⊶ ⊷ ⊶ ⊷ ⊶ ⊷

I know I say it after every fic but this one was hard so even if it's bad, I'm proud of it. I tried writing from the first person pov, so what do you guys prefer? This or the usual third person limited?

tags:

@courtofjurdan // @thesirenwashere // @nightbringer // @queenofgreenbriar // @jurdanhell // @sweetlyvillainous // @clockworkgraystairs // @blog-lady-vi // @the-dark-swan //@storiesandschemes // @fangirltrash74 // @augustintodarkness // @jurdan7 //@queen-of-glass // @aesthetics-11 // @mijaldraws // @hades-flame // @sensitivehighlord // @annejulianneh111 // @b00kworm // @mysweetvillain // @doingmyrainbow // @curlyredqueen06 // @chaotic-fae-queen // @thewickedkings // @thesurielships //@df3ndyr // @clouds-and-peonies // @aelinfeyreeleven945tbln // @thefolkofthefic // @st00pid231 // @iminsanenotobsessed

[burnedbyshoto]

Toyomitsu Taishiro (Fatgum) - HC

a/n: so I realized just how indepth these things really are, so scheduling I had is a joke, but whateva! happy four months lovlies :D

SFW:

A = Affection (How affectionate are they with an s/o?)

HE IS A BIG PHAT LIVING TEDDY BEAR DO YOU UNDERSTAND??? HE IS AS AFFECTIONATE AS YOU WILL LET HIM BE!!!!!!!!

B = Breath (What could their s/o do to take their breath away?)

If you, his s/o, ever learned how to make takoyaki. You don’t even have to be an amazing chef, this small act of cooking his favorite food will make him worship the ground you stand on (as if he wasn’t already doing that!)

C = Cuddling (Do they cuddle? If they do, how and when do they cuddle?)

You know those huge fluffy stuffed animals you wanted as a kid and you’d just lay on top of their big poofy stomach and just hold on because you were living the life??? That’s cuddling with Taishiro and you can’t convince me otherwise. Also, he loves it when you do it??? It just makes him feel super amazing???

D = Dream (What do they dream of doing with their s/o?)

He would love to open a poor kitchen with you. The two of you are that couple that everyone respects because of how kind and generous you are, and this kitchen would mean so much to those in the community that needs it.

E = Effort (How much effort do they put into a relationship?)

He’s very busy as a hero, and most nights he is very tired, but he will always dedicate his free day to you. Of course, it’s surrounded with errands, but just being with you is enough. He puts as much effort into his relationship with you as he can.

F = Fear (What do they do if their s/o is scared? How do they handle it?)

He will give you his hero hoodie. The soft and warm extremely large fabric of the jacket drowns you, but also makes you feel safe. He’ll wait for you to want his physical help, but for now, take the hoodie.

G = Gifts (What type of gifts do they give their s/o? Do they want a gift in return?)

Taishiro is the boyfriend who buys the rose from the local flower shop and brings it back with him on his way home. He gives you little gifts that make you smile, not really into really big and extravagant gifts unless the occasion calls for it. He enjoys the small things because you remember them just as well. He never expects a gift back and is genuinely shocked whenever you bring something home for him.

H = Hugs (Do they hug their s/o? How often?)

He is a big hugger. He will hug you more than kiss you, not even going to lie about it, but you enjoy it. Taishiro is an amazing hugger and it makes you feel safe, soft and warm.

I = Intimacy (How romantic are they? Do they have problems with intimacy?)

He is a huge romantic and is never ever afraid to demonstrate that to you or anyone. Never misses an important date, always texts you happy anniversary! Even month 18 he will send a heartwarming message as if it was a huge one!

J = Jealous (Do they get jealous? How do they act when jealous?)

He’s a bit of a jealous man because you are amazing. Of course, this jealousy doesn’t drive him to do anything, but he knows that many men scoff at him because he is in his large form! But he never fights anyone unless provoked into a fight; instead, he just glares at them which is super scary because he’s typically such an easygoing man.

K = Kiss (Are they a good kisser? Do they like to kiss? How often do they try to kiss you?)

He is a good kisser!!! His lips are never chapped, and he loves peppering kisses all over your face!!!!!!! He loves kissing you and will kiss you as often as you want him too.

L = Love (When do they say they love you? How often do they say it? Do they prefer to say or show it?)

He says “i love you” at a year. He fells it well before, but he felt that those words hold a lot of meaning, and he wants to express these genuine feelings to you at a special moment in your relationship because you mean the world to him. Afterward, he will continue saying it every day. If he had to choose between expressing it or saying, he would always show it.

M = Marriage (Do they want to get married? If so, what kind of ceremony?)

He wants to marry you, for sure! The ceremony would be small and intimate with only people the two of you love going!

N = Night out (What type of dates do they like to go on? How often do they like to go on them?)

You two visit a lot of restaurants together! Cooking classes!!!! Weekend trips to some taste-testing place!!!! wALKS THROUGH THE COMMUNITY?!?!?!!? They happen every week.

O = Out of the Ordinary (What’s something they don’t normally do with/for their s/o?)

He will not change his form for you. If you prefer FitGum over him, he won’t ever change himself.

P =Playful (Are they playful in a relationship? If so, how do they play around/mess with their s/o?)

He’s actually a very serious lover. Don’t let the wide grin and pleasant personality fool you. He is very very serious, that’s not to say he won’t play around with you or not joke around, but he likes being as straightforward and clear as he can be.

Q = Questions (Do they ask their s/o their opinion on things? Do they share theirs?)

He will ask for your opinion on things, he wants to hear your thoughts because he respects your input and ideas. He is also a very open and honest person; he shares his opinions even if they contradict your own.

R = Random (How spontaneous is their relationship? Do they do things on the spot or plan ahead?)

He’s not predictable but also not spontaneous. Like, you expect things from him because he’s a very routine guy, but he still manages to make every single routine something new for you.

S = Sleep (How do they sleep with their s/o?)

You can sleep on top of his belly, he loves it and he doesn’t move in his sleep so it works out! It also makes sharing the blankets easy!

T = Trust (How much do they trust their s/o?)

Taishiro trusts you completely. He never doubts what you say, and even if he thinks you’re lying he trusts you’ll come around and tell him the truth eventually.

U = Unique (What makes them unique as an s/o?)

His compliments. I know, compliments aren’t special or anything new, but there’s something so strangely different, so warming about the way he compliments you. It strikes your soul and warms you up whenever he praises you. You may not have a praise kink, but maybe you do now.

V = Vulnerable (How long until they can be vulnerable around their s/o? What are they like in this state?)

Taishiro actually really really hates being vulnerable in front of you. As a hero, he thinks that it isn’t correct for him to be breaking at the seams. But, when he has to be, it can be at any point because hero work is so fucking exhausting… he’s just… sad. The smile on his face is shakey, his appetite is gone, he’s a shell of who he is, and you both don’t like it.

W = Wild Card (Get a random domestic headcanon of the character of your choice)

Taishiro and you have a long-running game of throwing food into each other’s mouths in the most creative ways possible. The best one so far was when he threw a takoyaki from his stomach hundreds of meters into the sky and you caught it. LEGENDS ONLY!!!!

X = X-Ray (What would they do if their s/o got injured?)

He will cater to you without even blinking an eye. Taishiro will overfeed you because you need the energy to heal! He will giVE YOU HIS JACKET AND I JUST REALLY WANT TO WEAR IT OKAY

Y = Yuck (Do they have any pet peeves about their s/o? Are there any habits that might bother their s/o?)

Super picky eaters. Now now, i know there are picky eaters out there, but i’m talking about picky eaters who won’t let him try any new foods. No, he does not care if you only want chicken tenders for the rest of your life, but if you won’t let him try a new restaurant because they don’t have anything it does bug him.

Z = Zeal (Are they passionate as an s/o? Do they want or like passion?)

He is a super intimate and passionate lover!!! He will try his best with what he has to give to you, and he loves it when you return it to him on every level.

NSFW:

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

He lays there for a while, trying to capture his breath again. When he gets up, he always makes the two of you tea, and he returns with some food and whatever you need.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite feature is his legs, they’re just super strong and goddamn do you look hot as fuck when you’re sitting on his lap. His favorite body part on you is your mouth. Your pretty little mouth that can suck him off, kiss him like no one else, and whisper the most sinful things in his ear… yeah, he loves your mouth.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

His cum is… a weird taste. He has a good appetite, but he does sometimes eat questionable things, and it… is evident. But he loves watching you swallow his thin yet full load.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He has kept a pair of your candy panties that he didn’t get to finish and ate it in public one day because he was able to pass it off as a candy bracelet… you don’t know that though...

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He is actually not that experienced... unfortunately most people see his fat form and scoff at him because of that, even if he is a kind man. Having sex with these women was especially hard, and since he was busy for a long time he never let it bother him, but he was sort of a natural. He knows how to move his body.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

The standing pretzel (this one is fucking amazing btw) and loves fucking you when you’re on a swing.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He is more serious in bed, but will always be smiling. It’s passionate and meaningful to him, so he tries to avoid joking around. But if you’re into it, he doesn’t mind. 

H = Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

It’s surprising very well-groomed. Almost to the point where it’s shaved off completely. (it’s for less friction with his hero costume)

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) 

Loves to be super intimate and romantic. He is the kind of guy to hide flowers in the room and present them to you after fucking when you’re about to pass out.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He doesn’t masturbate often. When he does, it happens more typically in the shower because he thinks you can’t hear him… you can… every time

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

FOOD PLAY FOOD PLAY FOOD PLAY!!!! Hairpulling, thigh-riding, overstimulating (giving), and blindfolds

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

In his office… oh my god, he loves bending you over his desk and making you come whenever you visit for lunch or something

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

You. in. a. candy. bra. and. panties. Also, just sending him a very small thirst text/provocative picture is gonna get you some Daddygum dick.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

Anything with humiliation. Do not ask him to be FitGum for bed, he literally will ignore you for the rest of the week. There are times he comes back with his low BMI so if you want to seduce that very tired and drained hero, be his guest, but never ever ask for it.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Loves giving it more. But goddamn you just look so fucking delicious going down on him that he doesn’t mind when you beat him to oral.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Isn’t too slow isn’t too fast. It’s why sex with him is so exhausting because you’ll come twice in ten minutes but it’s such a painful yet pleasurable ten minutes.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Not into quickies unless he’s in the office, then, by all means, let’s make each other come in 3 minutes.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He is into experimenting as long as the two of you take it slow while introducing it into the bedroom. Like, don’t dial it up to 15 until you both are comfortable.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He can last a few healthy rounds but nothing more than four rounds in one night.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He owns a fair share of toys that he much would rather use on you. Like he bought you a vibrator that does it’s job fucking right.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Will never ever say he likes to tease, but he’s a natural fucking tease and just isn’t aware. He will be fucking you at such a slow pace, his words teasing promises as he makes sure you can’t fuck him any faster. He’s a goddamn tease okay.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He’s quite vocal. He thinks words are very powerful and so will make sure he praises your every damn move if he must.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Really really really fucking loves being called hero in bed. He takes so much pride in his work that hearing it being slipped from your mouth… big phat nut.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

He’s a big dick daddy. There’s no way he isn’t. Like nine inches with a considerable girth to it. Not veiny though, pinker than the rest of his body, and has a leftward curve.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

He has a good sex drive… oh yeah, he can push himself to stay up every night to fuck you if needed.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

Having sex really reenergizes him! He will definitely go finish up with last minute things afterward if you don’t fall asleep/want to cuddle.

[gallavictorious]

Do you think Mickey feels he got closure with terry?

Short answer and based on what we’ve seen so far: not really, no. Or rather: not yet.

Long (and I do mean really quite long) answer below.

Admittedly, writing on this topic now, before we’ve seen how Mickey deals with the aftermath of Terry’s death in the next episode, strikes me as a bit of a fool’s errand, because what we get on Sunday will (probably, hopefully) offer us more insight into how he feels about his dad and their relationship now. But I am fascinated with the subject, so I’m going to go ahead and indulge in rambling, though with the proviso that everything below is a tentative analysis that might well need to be revised once 11x09 has aired. As always, I’m glad of other people’s input, because I suspect I’m nowhere near done forming my opinion on this.

Before we start, I’d like to note that this post solely and specifically addresses how Mickey reacts to his dad and trauma on the show; it’s not a statement on how actual live trauma victims should or should not relate to their abusers. That really, really isn’t for me to say. Okay?

All right, then. Let’s get to it:

Following 10x12 I thought that Mickey was pretty much done with Terry; as far as he was concerned, that bridge was burned once Terry burned down The Bamboo Lotus, and even though they must have reached some sort of unspoken cold war type of truce (ie not actively trying to kill one another) Mickey seemed content to ignore his dad. No more asking for advice; no more helping out with various “jobs”; no more attempts at some semblance of a relationship, be it a cordial one or a murderous one. What we got in 11x06 didn’t really change that: seeing Terry thus weakened understandably stirred a lot of emotion in Mickey but both his choice not to kill his dad and his choice to eventually help him have arguably less to do with Terry or Mickey’s relationship to him, and more to do with what sort of person Mickey wants to be. At that point, he chooses to be a man stepping away from his father’s hateful legacy, wanting to be better than that. (And by God, Mickey dearest, you are so much better than that.) And that could have been the end of it, you know? That could have been closure of a sort – not in the sense that it in any way healed the wounds of the past, but in the sense that it signified Mickey finding a way to live with the hurt that allows him to move forward.

Now, we knew (from the episode descriptions) this wasn’t the end of their story, but I was still surprised by Mickey’s overt preoccupation with Terry in 11x08. This isn’t just someone doing the (more than) decent thing to be a decent person, this is genuine concern for Terry’s welfare – and while part of it might be tied to the ingrained idea that “family is family” and while Mickey is still very much aware of the fact that Terry is an utter piece of shit, it’s very hard not to read this as Mickey – once more, and probably without fully acknowledging it– being driven by a latent wish for his father’s approval, that need for connection. (As I’ve argued before, I think that’s why Ian’s not necessarily very enthusiastic about Mickey’s dedication, even though he thinks everyone should receive aid and even though he probably is quite taken with Mickey being so caring.)

But while I didn’t really see it coming, I do like it. I get why you’d rather have him finally and vocally and possibly violently denounce his dad; it’d be cathartic, surely, for a lot of people to see that. But to me, what we get feels truer to the complex push and pull of their fractured bond and is quite frankly more interesting to me because it is messy and complicated and unfinished. Terry is a nightmare; he’s still Mickey’s dad; the relationship between an abusive parent and a child is often highly complex, and I think the show has done a consistently good job of showing that. 11x08 is no exception. You might think Mickey should tell his dad to fuck of once and for all because Terry doesn’t deserve Mickey’s time or devotion (I mean, he really doesn’t), but I find it highly realistic that Mickey would opt for this instead now that it’s a possibility. (It’s relevant to note, I think, that Mickey only allows himself to approach Terry again when Terry is helpless and not in a position to actually harm him; Mickey’s ultimately in control here, and I think that’s very important.)

So yeah, I think Mickey is searching for something from his dad still, but I don’t think he quite gets it. Can’t get it, really.

See, I believe that Terry, to some small degree at least, regrets not having a better relationship with Mickey: that’s how I read “you’d probably have made a half-decent son”. However, his regret isn’t tied to any notions of “I wish I’d been better and given another chance I’d try to do things differently” but instead an expression of “yeah, it suck’s that you’re gay so I had to hate you”. It’s not an acceptance of responsibility or even a vague hint of being willing to change or to accept Mickey for who he is, and because of that – because Terry is not willing or able to change and because Mickey will no longer accept anything less – Mickey’s potential but unvoiced dreams of reconciliation cannot be fulfilled. (And let’s be clear: even if Terry did repent and changed and made what amends he could that doesn’t undo or make up for the damage he has done and Mickey has zero obligation to forgive him or spend even another second in his company.)

So it’s not enough – what could be? – but it is something. A grudging acknowledgment of Mickey’s good qualities, an admission that he is desirable as a son – or would be, if it weren’t for that one thing. :/ It’s recognition and rejection all wrapped into one, and I really like Mickey’s response: he makes it clear that he knows that he’s not the problem here and that he’s fully aware of what an evil bastard Terry is but that he still chooses to be there; chooses to feed Terry and find him a nurse, rather than scoop his eyeballs out or piss on him or use his mouth for a fucking ashtray.

It reminds me of a passage from the Swedish novel Beartown by Fredrik Backman: “She will hold all the power in that moment, but she will spare him. She doesn’t forgive, she doesn’t pardon, she merely spares him. He will always know it.” (2017[2016]:466, my translation.)

It’s remarkable too, I find, that Mickey doesn’t try to hide his hurt here: he allows himself to be vulnerable, to let his father see the pain he has caused. And Terry doesn’t pounce on it; he doesn’t scorn Mickey’s “weakness” or argue with his denunciation; he accepts the judgement and opens his mouth to accept the food without further protest, accepting – in that moment, at least – what Mickey chooses to give him. He concedes his loss of power and his dependance on the son he tortured and disowned. (But it’s not like he gives fully either – there’s no apology, no thanks, no actually asking for help: he just opens his mouth. It’s a lot for Terry, and I think we can acknowledge that, but it doesn’t change the fact that he is an utter and total asshole – and I’m glad that the show didn’t have him do more, because that would have felt… unlikely to me.)

It’s such a small thing, and so far less than what Mickey deserves, but probably more than he expected at this point. In time I think it will be helpful to him, to have gotten even this much, but at the time of Terry’s death I’d argue that it adds to rather than lessens Mickey’s burden. Because it’s possible that this could serve as a bookend to their relationship: not a reconciliation but as much of peace as they’ll ever know – eyes lifted to momentarily meet across the abyss in one brief instance of seeing, and being seen by, one another. But going only by what we get in 11x08 I don’t think that this is quite it, and rather than Mickey (in the moment) taking this as the final word or where they stand I think that he – in spite of everything Terry has done – can’t help but think of this exchange as an opening, the potential start of something. Not sure it’s a conscious thing, or how comfortable he is with this notion, because of course he is still very angry with and hates his dad, but consider the way he keeps looking at his phone and insisting they check back in with the nurse: that’s not the actions of someone who has laid things to rest and let it go, that’s Mickey doubling down on being a concerned son and… Yeah. As things stand, I tend to think that he was hoping against hope that maybe, possibly–

And then Terry is dead and Mickey is left with all of his conflicting emotions and nothing to do with them. It’d have been easier, probably, if it hadn’t been for that tiny, tiny softening; that small flare of hope I think Mickey might be quite angry with himself for feeling, if he admits to feeling it at all. It’d be easier if he could just hate Terry, you know?

Now, we don’t know what Mickey would have done if Terry (and that’s a big fucking if) had ever indicated any actual regret. But whether Mickey would have wanted that opportunity to rekindle a relationship with his father or if he’d have used to spit in Terry’s face and spend five hours telling him why Mickey would never forgive him and felt nothing but hatred and revulsion for him, that choice was forever and finally taken from him.

However, I don’t think this means that Mickey won’t find closure; I believe he will, and I think – hope – that we’ll get to see some of that in the next episode. Because the thing about Terry not being willing or able to change means that he would never have been able to give Mickey what he truly needed anyway (and as mentioned, even if he did change there’s no undoing his crimes). It was always going to come down to Mickey finding a way to live with the scars; finding a way to make some sort of peace with the past (which doesn’t have to include making peace with Terry at all) and to let it be the past. He doesn’t strictly speaking need Terry for that and given what an asshole Terry is, maybe it’s actually easier to manage it when he’s not around to fuck it up.

So yeah. It’s not likely to be sweet or neat or even very conclusive – these things rarely are and recovery is a process – but I think that Mickey will get some closure one way or another, and I believe that in the end he’ll be glad for the tiny moment they shared just before Terry’s death, even if it’s a complicating factor now.

(It should also be noted that Terry isn’t horrible just as an evil response to Mickey being gay; he was plenty horrible to him and the rest of his kids outside of that too. Consider Mickey listing the awful things Terry did when Mickey was just a kid; consider Mandy telling Debbie in season 5 that she learned how to cover up a bruise form living with Terry. The attempted murder(s) and corrective rape and disowning Mickey was a result of Terry’s virulent homophobia, but he was an awful father long before he knew Mickey was gay. So even without the homophobia, there’d be a hell of a lot to hate him for.)

There’s certainly more to say on this topic, and I think that we’ll have reason to return to it come Sunday - but for now, that’s most of my thoughts, I think.

[regrettablewritings]

Modern!Jaskier x Reader Ship Meme

Prompts taken from this ship meme

Which one texts like a straight white boy?: Of course it would have to be our resident white boy. It isn’t even that he necessarily means to, there’s just an embarrassing amount of overlap between the messages a straight white boy tends to text, and those of your rising star boyfriend. You’d look more into it if it weren’t for the fact that you know there’s no actual malice in it, and because it’s just so sad that it’s funny. If one were to go into the photos saved on your phone, they would’ve surely come upon an entire album of screenshots you’d taken over the years, from when Jaskier would be on tour without you to when he’d just be resting at home while you were out at work. Things like: “Wat r u up to 2nit, cutie? ;)” “I’m probably just gonna play whatever’s on my Watch Later backlog on youtube until I conk out.” “Wild!!! anyway wat would u do if i was there rn~?” Or “Do u miss me? :(” “Of course I do ya dingus!” “Ok....Can we do a quickie over videochat?” “Jas i’m at the store.” “The point still stands.” Or “Watcha thinkin bout? ;)” “About how The Great Gatsby becoming public domain means there’s nothing stopping anyone from making a drag show interpretation called The Gay Dragsby.” “Aaww w/o me? ;)” “...” “WAIT NO I THOUGT YOU’D SAY YOU WERE THINKING ABOUT ME SHIT NO.” “BUT ACTUALLY DO GO ON IM KINDA INTERESTD.” If it were anybody else, you would’ve blocked them. But this wasn’t anybody else. It was your Jaskier: Your foolhardy, constantly horny, but never-short-of-loving Jaskier. And besides, not for nothing, at least they were something you could get a laugh out of.

Which one cried during a fucking Disney movie?: Once again, Jaskier is the guilty party. It’s no secret that he’s the more emotional of the two of you -- he wore his investment in Titanic with pride, after all. But it is a secret that the particular Disney movie to make him cry was Hercules of all things! Not Bambi, not The Lion King, not even Beauty and the Beast, but goddamn Hercules! (On another note, he also cried to Coco. But that barely counts: Literally everyone and their mother has cried during Coco. The only difference here was that Jaskier could relate to being a young man so in love with music while coming from a family that discouraged the pursuit of it.) This isn’t a knock on anyone who enjoys the movie, mind you, but let’s be honest: Out of the Disney animated canon, Hercules isn’t exactly the most . . . emotionally cathartic or heart-string-plucking of the bunch. But just because it didn’t go out of its way to create a crying frenzy doesn’t mean that it’s lacking in some humanity. It is, after all, still a Disney film. The problem is, Jaskier can’t even quite express why it made him cry the night you both decided to watch it. Maybe it had something to do with a young man most people took as a joke trying to achieve greatness? And to be fair, “Go the Distance (Reprise)” and “A Star is Born” differently when you’ve done some growing . . .

Who put a goddamned fork in the microwave?: It only happened once, but you’d never let him live it down. You like to joke that you’d left him to his own devices for just fifteen minutes so that you could take a shower -- of which was completely true -- and that was all he needed for things to go downhill. Nobody wants to think they’d be in the wrong for trusting a 20-something year-old to not be his usually somewhat distractable self. But that particular day, said 20-something year-old decided to occupy that little spot of time to himself with TV and a plate of leftovers. And normally this would’ve been fine and dandy. But normally, Jaskier would’ve just waited for the food to heat before searching for something to watch. It shouldn’t have been too big of an issue that it went the other way around that day, but apparently it was. As much as he wanted to (which honestly wasn’t by much), Jaskier just couldn’t tear his eyes away from the images flashing on the TV. The baby blues were set on the screen the entire while -- up until he heard a faint popping. Followed by a sound he normally only heard in a cheesy sci-fi movie. The problem was, he wasn’t watching anything even remotely science-fiction-y . . . All you were doing when you exited the bathroom was going to grab your lotion. That was literally all you had any expectations for. What you hadn’t expected to come upon was your boyfriend, hollering and diving over the sofa in order to scramble into the kitchen and stop that strange, not-good-sounding sound. Suffice to say, you had to put your shower on hold; it simply had to wait for you to finish fussing, then again for you to finish laughing your ass off. And again because if you entered the shower still laughing, you’d probably slip and break your head open and then Jaskier would have to deal with another possible emergency caused by himself.

Who does the silly hands-over-the-eyes “Guess who?” thing?: You can both be guilty of it, but Jaskier without a doubt does it more. Sometimes he’ll emerge from “his cave” (aka the little nook in the apartment where he likes to mess around and write lyrics or arrangements) on a break and catch an unsuspecting you sitting on the couch or at the dinner table. Other times, it could just be when he comes back from running some errands or doing a quick interview at the local radio station. You don’t mind it much . . . Especially since you can get a rise out of him by purposefully guessing the wrong person. (“Hmmm . . . Could it be . . . my mail-order husband? Boy, that was quick. And all the way from Russia, too . . .” “Uh, no.” “The milkman, finally accepting my invitation to commence a torrid love affair?” “Okay, you know damn well -- ” “Or better yet: My hopes and dreams have manifested, oh, Waluigi, could it really and truly be you!?” “What in the absolute fuck --”)

Who puts their cold hands/feet on their partner?: Because it’s usually himself who presents as being the more mischievous of the two, and because he tends to run the warmest, it always shocks Jaskier when you decide to play dirty and put your cold limbs all over him. Is it childish? Yes. But are his reactions to the sudden feeling of icy flesh hilarious? Also yes. You love to creep up on him when he’s tuning his guitar or scribbling down lyrics, or just minding his own damn business by trying to actually turn in relatively early for once. You love even more to watch him jolt and release the most high-pitched yip a man of his build could ever even joke about making. You’ll still be laughing about it as he scowls at you, cursing your “ghoul hands” and demanding to know if he’s dating a corpse at this point. Of course, no matter how peeved he might be, you can always count on one other thing from his dramatic reactions: Him huffily grabbing your hands into his own and rubbing them warm, or him forcing a park of fuzzy socks on your feet. And just for extra measure, you can be sure that he’ll spend the rest of the night holding you close or cuddling you -- “For exchanging bodily heat purposes,” he will always reason.

Who had that embarrassing reality TV marathon?: You both are guilty of it, actually. The question should really be, who is the least shameful about it. As with most things regarding a lack of shame, it was, of course, our dear Jaskier. Being a musician with a growing following, the little attention whore just can’t miss out on an opportunity to show himself off to his awaiting public. A rising star with relatability and a taste for trash? People eat that shit up! So you’ve learned to be less surprised every time he decides to liveblog himself watching things like Love Island or any of the 90-Day Fiancee spin-offs. In fact, in more recent times, you’ve come to join in with him, adding your own corresponding Tweets and commentary. Though don’t be too shocked once he starts holding polls and letting the public decide what show the two of you should watch next.

Who laughs more during sex?: You do, completely through Jaskier’s own efforts. Jaskier’s always had a pretty lax view of sex. This didn’t change when he met you, of course, but how he specifically portrayed that laxness did undergo some metamorphosis. Before, the entertainer was much more intent on his bedroom experiences being a display of power and an ability to please. Something dramatic and to be taken seriously. He still sees the importance of satisfaction in the bedroom, mind you, but with you, he can’t help but feel more . . . comfortable. With you, it’s a little more okay if he accidentally makes a dumb noise that in no way can be salvaged as sexy. With you, it’s a little more okay if he struggles to get his or your pants off, or if he struggles with removing your bra. And with you, he’s come to find that he’s a lot more okay with sharing a giggle or being a little more loose about things. It’s fine if your fingers tickle him or if he struggles to think of something proper dirty. But it’s even more fine if you think something he says or does makes you laugh, but not in a way that discredits his efforts. When you laugh, it shows that you’re comfortable with him. Comfortable enough to be with him, and be truly vulnerable. So do forgive him if he can’t help but run his fingers up your sides in a tickling fashion, or sloppily string together an innuendo. He simply loves how golden your laughter sounds, even in the throes of passion, intermingled with sweet whimpers and pleas of his name. How the heave of your chest and rippling of your tummy bumpily sync in with the rhythm of his thrusts . . . He just wants to see your smile, your genuine mirth, and bask in it with you. Besides, it serves as excellent song inspiration for him . . .

Who is the little spoon?: It depends on the sway of the day, really. As a whole, you both take turns without much thought simply because you tend to just fall into your positions. Some days, you just happen to lay into him in a way that makes you the little spoon. Other days, he conks out next to you in a manner that most could consider would make you the big spoon (or jet pack). Neither side really fights how it plays out unless one or the other may feel small and vulnerable, or just plain tired and in need of comfort. You often find yourself playing the role of the more dominating position during those first few days after Jaskier returning home from either a quick tour, or after finishing a long week of hours upon hours in the studio, or whatever kind of press-related nonsense his management team told him he needed to do. For as much as your boyfriend loved the spotlight, the truth was he was still quite capable of burning out and needing time to himself. Or, at the very least, just time with you. Even if that means he’s asleep for most of it, with you clinging to his back as he drifts off into a much-needed sleep. He makes sure to return it tenfold when you need just the same. Sure, your occupation may not be of the same nature as his own, but that didn’t mean you were in any less need of his cuddling. In fact, with him being gone as often as he was, Jaskier couldn’t help but feel almost guilty for not always being able to provide you with the basic comforts of being a constantly present boyfriend. Hence why the moment he would see your fatigued body crossing the threshold of your apartment, he would be all over you, ushering you into a quick shower, followed by a quick and simple dinner or snack, and capped off with him cuddling about you from behind. It didn’t matter if you’d come home right in the middle of a writing frenzy, or even if he’d been in the middle of searching for a breakthrough with an arrangement -- for as vain and bullheaded as Jaskier could be, he knew he owed you at least this much. You already put up with so much of his nonsense; this was quite literally the least he could do, both for you and for himself. Besides, he who was he to fight against the feeling of you wiggling closer into his hold, to deny himself the sound of your soft breathing as you lay yourself vulnerable to him? The fact of the matter is that he simply isn’t. He couldn’t be. Maybe in the beginning when things were still so unsteady and uncertain, but never now, when things had become so . . . well, what he could only describe as being “the both of you”. The both of you, molded and entwined, never wanting to let go. Never planning on it, either.

[eurodynesass-moved]

Playin’ Doctor

SPOILERS FOR CYBERPUNK 2077

A brief look at V in the fight with Razor, before Vik takes care of her in his clinic and they… celebrate.

Female V / Viktor Vector

This fic takes place after the end of the game with my own scenario in place, but there’s no explicit mention of what goes down in the ending.

Ao3

— — — — —

Something was clearly wrong with her head if she was waking up from a dream like that.

For the entire morning, V was extremely hot and bothered. She could not believe the fabrications of her own mind would betray her the way that they did. The night before was rather calm, the usual. Nothing too bad, everything was quiet, she got to bed without issue, fell asleep normally. Then, her stupid mind decided to grace her with stupid images that kept her in a bit of a stupid tangle the entire day. Sure, he was in it, but probably only because she was thinking about her scheduled visit the next day.

But why did it have to be a dream like that.

Partway through her errands, V had to stop by at home to get changed, having gotten rather excited thinking about the dream while in a fucking diner, waiting for a client. She decided to take a cold shower in the end and simply just forget about the whole thing.

It did not work.

What was with her? She shook her head and huffed in annoyance, knowing that there was no avoiding thinking about it now. She was headed to see him, after all. V had to simply just breeze through it and get out before she could make a fool of herself. Surely that was possible.

—

It was not.

The second V pulled the gate aside, she stopped in her tracks. Viktor was walking across the room carrying a rather heavy crate. One look at his muscles and she was reminded of a very specific image of the man that hovered comfortably between her legs, muscles tense and flexed as he held onto her naked body.

No, no, nope. She couldn't do this, she could not stay. She turned, looking at the path behind her, when she heard him.

"V! You made it just in time. Come on in, have a seat," he told her, grunting as he placed the crate down somewhere out of sight.

V swallowed hard and shut the gate behind her, slowly stepping into the clinic. She heard some clanking and a thud off to her left and witnessed Viktor as he pushed past his punching bag. She still remembered the day she had once walked in on him beating it to shit. V was certain that it was going to fly off its chain and right into the wall. Much like she wished her body would at that moment.

He smiled at her, walking up to her and clapping a hand on her shoulder. "Hey, V. Good to see ya."

"Hey, Vik," she smiled, seeing his eyes and remembering that look he gave her when—

"You go sit, settle in, I'll be right back and we'll get those diagnostics started," he told her, his hand resting on her bicep a moment before he walked off.

This was going to be fucking difficult. It was Viktor. Viktor. Her friend, Vik. She had to stop. She couldn't wonder about how his muscles would bulge this way and that when he picked up yet another seemingly heavy crate. She couldn't think about how when she sat herself down in the chair, she saw Viktor walking to the other room again, her eyes lingering lower than they should. V especially couldn't think about him when she laid down in the chair, wondering what he'd look like if he were to climb on top of her and—

"Alright, let's get this started," he called, going over to his chair and giving it a good kick to move it over to her. Sitting down beside her, he brought down the screen and began to configure the software for her. "Here you go," he pulled up a wire for her to jack into her port. There was an innuendo in there somewhere—

She needed to sort her life out.

Jacking herself in, she took a deep breath and sighed, looking anywhere and everywhere else that she could. "Whoa," she heard him mumble. "So, uh, how's your day been so far?"

"Oh, you know," V waved it off. She hoped he didn't know. "Business as usual. Had to meet up with a couple clients, one went down without a hitch, the other needed a little bit of, uh... reminding. That sort of thing."

"That all of it?" he asked, tapping away at the screen in front of him and sparing a glass at her.

V nodded and shifted in her seat. "Yeah, I mean I do have a couple of stressful jobs coming up later, but nothing I can't handle."

"Huh," he took a breath. "Well, you just make sure you get back in one piece. Now, let's take a look at that chip of yours."

Viktor stood up from his seat, swinging one of the monitors to the other side right over her head, then sat back down and rolled himself around her. He moved up to where her head was and tilted it by her chin so that she would face away. "There we go," he muttered, fiddling with the screen a moment, out of sight but certainly not out of mind.

Shutting her eyes momentarily for comfort, V felt her heart beginning to race for more than just the obvious reason. She always hated this part, always expected something to have gone wrong after her last visit. She felt his fingers gently press against her skin here and there, around where the biochip was slotted, moving her hair out of the way to get a good look.

"Looks to be okay on the outside. No swelling, nothing out of the ordinary..." he then turned his focus to the screen and shifted in his seat a little.

She tried to take a deep breath to keep herself calm, and tried to think of absolutely anything other than the biochip. She thought of the silent wrestling match that played on Viktor's screen on the other side of the room. She thought of the fights that she herself had been in. She thought of Viktor punching the punching bag right there in the corner of the room.

She then couldn't help but think of the dream again, how it was just the two of them in a quiet, dark room, nothing but bare, sweaty skin and vulnerability. She remembered how he was pressed against her between her legs, his hands propped up on either side of her, how he bent down to kiss every inch of her that he could reach without ever pulling away from her. She shut her eyes and swallowed hard as she thought of his hands and where they had roamed, and was just starting to think about how much she would actually enjoy it if he—

"Whoa there," Viktor spoke quietly, turning to her just as she snapped out of her thoughts.

"What, is something wrong?" she asked, her hands now starting to shake at her sides as she grabbed onto the chair tightly.

"No, nothing's wrong with the chip, just... your heart rate spiked, and it's still going. You feelin' alright, sweetheart?" he frowned, looking at her.

No, she was not. "I, um... Yeah, I uh, I was just... I was worried that something might be wrong with the chip again."

"You been takin' those pills I gave you? Still got enough?" He asked, moving in a little closer to look at her.

"Yeah, I think I have... enough for a week. They keep the headaches away," she sighed, quite thankful for that little fact.

"Alright, I'll get you some more before then. The chip's not showin' any bad signs, it's still in good health, it's not growin' anything or breakin' apart, so you're all good. Just... try to keep that heart in check for me, alright? It'd do mine many favors," he chuckled.

V laughed at that, maybe a little nervously. "Trust me, Doc. Tryin' my best." They shared a silent moment, looking each other in the eye until Viktor looked away. There was something on his mind, she just couldn't place what it was. "Hey, Vik?" He looked at her. "Thank you for everything you've been doing."

Viktor smiled and reached over to take the jack out of her head. "No problem, V. What else am I supposed to do for my favorite client?"

"Your favorite, huh?" she chuckled, sitting up slowly.

"You don't really think I let all my clients get free diagnostics and pay for stuff whenever they want, do I?" he leaned an elbow against the arm of the chair casually, a grin playing easy on his face.

"I dunno, Viktor. You're kinda good like that," V countered, wondering just when she should maybe slow her roll.

"I'm not that good," he promised with a small wink before standing up.

It was either the dream, or her vivid imagination, but there was no way she'd be forgetting that image anytime soon.

[hadesgoddess]

Listen man those are good questions (in the ask game you reblogged) and I don’t wanna choose a few to ask (also the names of them are very long and I will not remember them. in my defense uh. I have the Memory Machine Broke disorder)

Do. Do you wanna just answer every question for Hades. go for it Rose. make a very long post. just answer every question for Hades. why not. live your dreams. have fun

SAY LESS STAR!!!! Thank youuuuuuu~~ Maybe I should change your tag to Enabling Mutual akdsjnkahsgdf jk jk @cosmicselfships

Because I could not stop for Death he kindly stopped for me: What does your F/O do to help you relax when you are overworking yourself? - I don’t overwork myself often but when I do it results in a lot of guilt and anger, mainly towards myself for not being able to keep up. It’s super hard for me to relax because I want to take care of all my chores and errands so when Hades sees me getting to that level of frustration, he goes out of his way to finish things for me. Like:

Me: I still have to finish the laundry, return those books, figure out what we’re having for dinner! Ugh! It’s just too much!

Hades: Laundry’s in the basket. 

Me: What?

Hades: And I dropped off the books this morning.

Me:.........

Hades: Sushi’s on it’s way too and I got you an order of Gyoza too.

Me:....... I fucking love you.  

Will no one tell me what she sings?: What does your F/O sound like when they sing? - Ohohohohoh well we already know this one, now don’t we! It is truly sad Hades only got 1 song in the movie, because Cheyenne Jackson? 

But let’s just pretend we don’t know shall we? Hades is loud and proud when he sings, he loves to just belt out his favorite songs, whether it’s classic rock or metal or grunge or even a bit of showtunes (that’s right babe, we all know your secret)! His voice is very smooth and steady, but he loves to hit those high notes! 

But thy eternal summer shall not fade: What about you makes your F/O fall for you even harder? What about your F/O makes you fall for them even harder? - Oh geez, I’m not sure! Maybe how I make him laugh when he’s angry or how I’m always ready with a cutting remark, maybe how I’m by his side no matter what, being my own person despite what others think? I fall harder for him when I see his soft side with Mal or you, Star, how he’s willing to be nice to Ben and support you guys after everything you went through. When I see his vulnerable side, the unusually quiet side, that doesn’t have an answer to everything, the side that just wants to be at peace but gets in its own way. Those quiet moments.

In an agony of unspoken young love I watched you: How long did it take for either you or your F/O to confess? Were either of you scared things wouldn’t go as planned? - Oh I’m always scared of how things can be messed up and that really made me nervous when it started coming to a head. It didn’t take years and years, but we danced around it and our feelings for quite a while. I’m too scared of being hurt and Hades is too scared of letting go

I came to see the damage that was done and the treasures that prevail: How do you comfort each other when you’re upset? - When I’m upset, I don’t want to talk about it, so Hades either holds me until I feel better or distracts me and when he’s upset, I sit and listen to him, I don’t interrupt or try to tell him what to do/feel, I validate his anger and his right to be upset.

You know, I’m not afraid of you at all: Is there anything about your F/O that scares other people, but you find to be charming or endearing? Or do you find it scary too, but refuse to let it scare you? - Ohhh boy, there’s lots of things about Hades people are scared of; his temper, the fire, his sharp tongue, his glare, his powers, the whole dead aspect... The list is long, he isn’t the Lord of the Underworld for nothing you guys. But half of that I’m not frightened by, like his power of the dead, his comments, or the fire. I'm pretty wary of his temper, because when people get genuinely mad, I tend to freeze up, but I’m good at defusing a situation before it gets that far. And I know that if he ever hurt me in a high tension situation, it would be an accident/he wouldn’t leave it to fester, he would work harder to fix it, just like I would if I got upset.

It was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair: When times are tough, how do you and your F/O make it through? - If times are tough, we don’t complain, we get down to business and work it through, come hell or high water. 

Is all that we see or seem but a dream within a dream?: What dreams does your F/O have? Do you see yourself helping your F/O achieve them? - After leaving the Isle, all Hades wants is to spend time with his family and have the chance to build what should have been there for years. I’m 100% supportive of helping him make amends and figure out how to build healthier relationships with his daughters. I also want to help him explore his own personal interests now that he isn’t shackled to the title of Lord of the Underworld or stuck on a spit of land under an impenetrable dome! Like music and science! 

I can no longer remain away from you: What lengths has your F/O  gone to see you? Have you ever done the same? - in almost all my fics, there’s no distance far enough that he wouldn’t go to find me or get me back. I would do the same, if I were at the threshold of the next life, I would still look back and reach for him.

And then my heart with pleasure fills and dances with the daffodils: What is dancing with your F/O like? - oh! So goofy, just pure, unadulterated ridiculousness, we can NOT be serious! No waltz’s or tangos for us, instead we’re jamming on air guitars and doing (failing) the Moonwalk! Probably the one actual dance I’d want to try with him would be Swing! It’s so high energy and looks like loads of fun!

Quoth the Raven “Nevermore”: Freebie! Tell us any headcanon about your F/O or your relationship with them. - I have 1 true aesthetic in my mind for Hades and I, and that’s being “That One Annoying Couple”, the ones that don’t care who’s around, they’re too busy rough-housing or goofing off or taking horrible selfies, just being a general nuisance! And then when someone tells us to knock it off/quiet down/get a room, we just glare at them and amp it up 1000%