#i like to consider myself the funniest bitch alive

[fluffypotatey]

watching Leverage: ep 8

I GOT ME GRAPE FANTA 😎 WE SPLURGING TONIGHT 😚

Pre-game show:

ok so i think i've got it figured out on who i'd be besties with from this show this is of course unrelated to the previous episode. also, let me know which of the crew i'd be besties with! i only know these guys for 7 episodes and y'all have all the 5 seasons, so 1st impressions and after some development?

nathan wouldn't trust me (obvi as i am young and inexperienced with heisting but i am a good strategist! so that should count for something) but eventually, he'd adopt me as one of his heist children

sophie would adopt me on the spot i just know it

alec and i would be besties. maybe i would feel a little intimidated by his hacking skills at first, but he'd be very welcoming and i would laugh at his jokes so yeah

i would be way too intimidated to be near eliot alone just because i feel like he has that aura of "don't talk to me"

unfortunately i don't think parker and i would start off well because i tend to be too polite and not say what i mean and she's a very blunt person

but anyway

it is really weird how they've listed the episodes because the last one being ep7 is super confusing for the continuity. if you watched the horse job before the wedding job like me, it makes no sense for alec to not know who eliot's "girl" was. however, if the wedding job was set before the horse job THAT MAKES SENSE!

SO WHY ARE THE EPISODES LISTED OUT OF ORDER???? WHY DID YOU SCREW WITH THE CONTINUITY LIKE THAT????

also it makes so much more sense that an ep3 nathan would be a little perturbed by heisting the mob and feel a little bitter about marriages because we're just getting to know him!!! it makes no sense for him to be bitter like that at ep7. not after the fucking bank shot job where we see him so soft for sophie???? ugh

this episode, we are watching *checks notes* The Mile High Job, spoilers for the episode will be followed under the cut (obvi 😗)

My Mile High Reaction (not sponsored by grape fanta)

oh dear, this ep is gonna be heavy

they blamed a child's death on her pre-existing conditions???? conditions unrelated to the side effects their fertilizers gives???? oh boy, i am getting pissed and they aren't even real but oh man i wanna hit something

oh they hiding evidence??? that would be important to the case??? corporation sir that's illegale. no that's literally illegal. anything you hold that's important to the case the other side needs to have as well. that's literally *breathes* i will...persevere :)

sophie: not speaking english the security guards: speaking english trying to understand her

to be fair! i am also that dumb

oh so both of them are just gonna hop away from the desk, okay then, keep it together my god lmao

ok i know they're trying to steal the information that the prosecuting team needs (the couple is prosecuting right? i'm assuming bc they have the burden of proof) but i'm worried bc there's a "doctrine of the poisoned apple" that basically means that any info gathered illegally cannot be used in court no matter how integral it is

i am curious to see if they bring up this little doctrine or ignore it (i'd be find with either tbh)

????

what happened with alec???? why does nathan not want them speaking about him???

shit this is a continuity thing huh

ALEC THANK GOODNESS

baby, did you...did you put a whole ass hot pocket in the microwave with no plate??? not even a paper towel??? and you grabbed it??? with your bare hands, dear lord

get a paper towel. sir, i'm embarrassed

*sighs* this was originally episode 4 wasn't it? alec and the crew not being as smooth, alec missing that they had a mission that day and fumbling to help them,

ok so i'm a little annoyed about how the episodes are listed and how janky they are continuity -wise

oh no the crew is about to be caught and this could have been avoided if the guy at the chair was more present in meeting! she says with a straight face. how ever will they get out of this one

yes, mister corporate evil man sir, please tell us everything about how you plan to tank the court case on a phone call where you're not even trying to keep quiet

i love you parker. how did she evade getting caught and exit the room before nathan and eliot? no one knows! but we all fucking love her for it!

"ok i got two for first class" nathan, sweetheart, he didn't even hesitate "ok sophie and i'll take those" yeah, yeah, ok sir, okay

ALEC BRO WITH A STRAIGHT FACE awww newlyweds

eliot....eliot, my dude, where, how???? WHEN? air marshal???? WHOMST???? WHO ARE YOU? WHAT THE FU

omfg alec i love your customer service voice. perfection lmao

awwww she loves fidget so much (that's an adorable name btw the kitty's so cute i wanna nuzzle!)

lmao eliot that flip was so extra, you just needed to stumble my dude

SOPHIE

NATHAN'S SO FLUSTERED HELP

"cuffs are his, wips mind" bro you should be so glad i wasn't drinking right bc i would have choked fr

ELIOT DEARY YOU SOUND LIKE A TEENAGER WHO GOT DRAGGED ALONG THIS TRIP "idiot," he says like sophie's his step mom and he's so embarrassed that he has now learned more info about his dad's sex life than he needed to

alec <3 i love him so much

parker i love you but you almost got punched (not your fault, you didn't know the lady was touchy about the promotion comment)

OH THEY FAKE DATING!! FAKE MARRIAGE

oooooooh nathan you in deep shit

oh man my brother would hate parker as a flight attendant

the pilot does not sound that clear on the intercom, leverage! really you hear more static than the pilot and it's way too loud and everyone just nods like they understood

mood eliot

madam, if parker said there's a system, then there's a system! do not mess with it!!! ma'am it ain't that hard to wait. if you really feel queasy, the bathroom is right behind you

ALEC MY BOY

yeah ok he could speak spanish to me all day. he sounds like a man who's so happy about his job! alec, you making me fall for your persona

lmao for a second i though the guard was going to look at the camera

"hey is there room in [the elevator that alec is making sure to take up every bit of space]" alec: idk bro you tell me

i know i say this so much but....alec i love you

"i bet you think we all look alike" I CAN'T BREATHE HELP I CAN'T I LOVE HIM

NOT THE SENSITIVITY SEMINARS

I CAN'T BREATHE

wait what are the playing on the plane? there's a movie playing. it looks western. eliot what are you watching????

yes eliot, let's just rummage through all the carry on bags. that's not suspicious

i mean.....parker's got a point. dying on a plane is pretty low. more people die in car crashes, but people feel more confident driving than flying

can't tell if that help the lady or not, but parker's delivery was hilarious either way

hands off sir that's a married woman! a fake married woman but still!

oop trouble in paradise

alec <3333333 my tall WoW geek, he's found his people

back the FUCK up nathan 🔪 leave him alone!

his little smile when he said "the meeting's starting!"

oh that better be fake alec!

oh thank goodness

lmao of course the accountant is the one who wanted ginger ale

nathan, sweetie, sweetheart, deary, pumpkin, gumdrop......you are so bad at pretending to be mad at sophie you whipped son of a bitch

OH????? THE ASSET IS THE ACCOUNTANT!!!! HAHAHAHA YOU HAVE TO SAVE HER NOW PARKER LMAO

so sorry but i was distracted (by eliot's voice) for a little bit but we good now

aww parker got her ginger ale to soothe her anxiety (didn't help but it's the thought that counts)

poor steve (derogatory)

i love cheryl. i'd die for her

oh shit he got a knife!

FUCK HIM UP ELIOT

you're gonna leave the knife in there??? with the unconscious hitman??? what if he wakes up what then?

oof you're gonna go that route? after 9/11??? ok then

good, good eliot got the knife

honestly i feel bad for that flight attendant. this must be one her worst days on the job

oh they got a countdown!

oh dear they cutting close on time

just curious: was there a content warning that was placed just before this episode aired? i know this show came out in 2008 but 9/11 was still fresh in people's minds. so to air an episode where a plane gets hijacked to crash, i feel like there was a warning placed for viewer discretion.

NOOOOO ALEC BABY HE SOUNDS SO DEFEATED :( HE THINKS HE'S GONNA LOSE THEM T^T HIS NEW FAMILY NOBODY TOUCH ME

HOW HIS VOICE CRACKS WHEN HE REALIZES HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO AND HE IS HELPLESS TO THEM NO

ohhhhh stressedstressedstressedstressedstressedstressedstress

AH OKOKOKOKOKOKOKOKOKOKOOOK

THEY GONNA LAND ON THE HIGHWAY

THEY DID IT

ok but is alec still in the boss's office? or is he back a HQ? how had no one found him? oh dear wait

ok nvm we got comedy all good

fuck off steve

aww we got soft sophie/nathan

haha she still won. love her

General thoughts

ok i have no clue why the episodes are mixed up like that because this episode feels like an ep4. it's just after the wedding job and the team isn't as solid yet. tbh this could even work before the wedding job but i wanna say no bc nathan was too up his ass in that one.

alec, my boy, you shined beautifully in this. i don't care if he wasn't the best team player! this was his episode and i loved it. i love that we got to see him geek out about video games and even about coding stuff that only he understands. i like how he is such a great people person! alec just met cheryl and yet he knows exactly how to work with her and make her believe he has worked at this place since forever. and maybe i'm hoping that he found her on WoW and they became internet besties

anyway, good episode, i enjoyed it. i laughed, almost cried, got stressed toward the end but all turned out well!

[fanby-fckry]

Distracting yourself from your problems by making a bunch of semi-unrelated shitposts is a time honored tradition.

Source: voxblr.vox #unreality cw #meta post #hellaverse #hazbin hotel #helluva boss

( 6 notes )

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

4 hr. ago

🌈 hells-disney-princess Follow

18 min. ago

🥺

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

3 min. ago

alright, alright, princess puppydog eyes. i’ll keep healing.

Source: sinstagram.vox #fr tho thanks charlie #i think i needed to hear that

( 104 notes )

🪡 niffty-lady 📠 Follow

24 min. ago

smut writing tips: sexualise guilt

Source: voxblr.vox #writeblr writing tips

( 3,510 notes )

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

1 hr. ago

You can't spell advertisements without putting semen between tits

🎀 charlies-angel Follow

1 hr. ago

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

1 hr. ago

I’m right tho

Source: voxblr.vox #cut me some slack vaggs #i’m trying to distract myself from fomo intimacy issues and crushing shame

( 6,966 notes )

📻 real-radio-demon Follow

2 hr. ago

I like the term "gallows humor" because it always makes me think of someone getting sentenced to death and thinking "I have GOT to be the funniest person at my public execution"

📻 real-radio-demon Follow

2 hr. ago

Your impending execution should be your second priority! Your first priority should ALWAYS be your commitment to the bit!

🐸 jest-fizzarolli Follow

2 hr. ago

remember, they can’t kill you if you never tell them the punch line 😎👉👉

Source: voxblr.vox #jester’s privilege

( 55,728 notes )

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

3 hr. ago

What’s the word for horny but not in a sexual way like I’m horny for Halloween but I don’t wanna fuck a pumpkin you feel

🎀 charlies-angel Follow

2 hr. ago

do u mean excited

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

2 hr. ago

That’s it the bitch, thanks Vaggs

Source: voxblr.vox #changed my mind tho #would fuck a pumpkin

( 649 notes )

🪡 niffty-lady 📠 Follow

3 hr. ago

i don’t have rizz i have one (1) big doll eye and many unsettling things to say

Source: voxblr.vox

( 1,622 notes )

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

4 hr. ago

The fact that makeup is considered to be “mature” and “sexulized” implies that being a clown or mime is the sluttiest job out there

🐸 jest-fizzarolli Follow

3 hr. ago

damn, angel, just @ me next time

Source: voxblr.vox #🤪 #jester’s privilege

( 17,379 notes )

🌈 hells-disney-princess Follow

5 hr. ago

how can people be so rude and not feel bad afterwards… When I don’t say thank you or don’t smile back I’ll think about it for 3 months straight and have flashbacks

Source: voxblr.vox #vent post #🌈 posts

( 18 notes )

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

Jul 1

if I make it outta this alive, I’m gonna tell my crush I’m in love with him.

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

Jul 1

fuck

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

Jul 3

ya know, I don’t think I’ve confessed to someone and meant it in over a decade?

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

Jul 3

haha would it be crazy if I said I forgot how?

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

Jul 5

today’s the day. i’m gonna do it.

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

5 hr. ago

guess what I did not do yesterday

#fuck why is this so hard? #i don’t know what’s wrong with me #fuck i need a drink

( 316 notes )

🍎 luci-goosey-666 Follow

Jul 6, 2013

Do you think Dad stays in Heaven because He too lives in fear of what He's created?

🍎 luci-goosey-666 Follow

6 hr. ago

I made this post 7 years ago after my wife left me and my life was falling apart.

These 7 years have been some of the darkest times in my life, and considering how fucking ancient I am, that’s really saying something.

I thought humanity was beyond cruel, that Sinners were nothing but awful, irredeemable monsters. My daughter and her hotel have taught me otherwise.

My life is finally looking up. I’m starting to regain a sense of clarity I haven’t had since fucking Eden. And I have her, her Fallen gf, and their rag-tag bunch of Sinners to thank for that.

So thank you, Charlie. I’ve said it in person, but I’ll say it again here. Thank you for showing me that the gift of free will was not wasted. That what I did wasn’t all bad. I love you, sweetie.

Source: Know Your Meme #wholesome

( 92,616 notes )

⬜️ voxblrverse-meta Follow

7 hr. ago

Fanby’s Fake Dash Masterpost

[robininthelabyrinth]

3. I have no idea if this time line would work, but MYX and XY get attached to each other, so when the time comes that MYX and XY need to leave Koi Tower, JGY helps them get married in secret and run away to Dongu. Anyways, a few years latter, JGY has a kid that needs to go and people in a removed location that owe him favors! Isn’t that a wonderful combination! A Jin(?) Rusong raised by Uncles Mo and Xue, or whatever they go by these days, would be very chaotic. Bonus: they start a relatively safe demonic cultivation sect, maybe with some guidance from the Nie (has NMJ never been killed by the Jin in this Au?), or more specifically, Huaisang. SL and XXC who got a happy ending decide to check out this no blood line sect (it looks slightly dubious, but surely can’t be to bad! Right?) A-Qing at least is enjoying her new friend -🟪🦋

Should Have Been Listening - ao3

“Let go of me.”

“I won’t,” Mo Xuanyu said, clutching Xue Yang’s arm. “I won’t, I won’t! You’re my only friend here!”

Xue Yang looked down at him in what he thought was mostly exasperation, but might have also been a little fondness – after all, if it’d been anyone else who’d grabbed him, he’d have stabbed them.

He still didn’t know why he didn’t stab Mo Xuanyu, too, but in all honesty, he wasn’t that interested in exploring it. He did what he wanted, and right now, he didn’t want to murder Mo Xuanyu.

Irritating as he sometimes was.

“Little brat,” he said. “I have important business to go do.”

“It’s not something that he ordered, though!”

“So what?” Xue Yang bristled. “I don’t just do what hetells me!”

“But that means he won’t cover for you, and that means you’ll get in trouble!” Mo Xuanyu argued. “How can I let you go all alone to get in trouble? You have to take me with you! What will you do without me? Who’ll keep you entertained and sneak sweets for you if not for me?”

Xue Yang’s lips twitched. Okay, maybe there was a reason he kept the brat around.

“You don’t understand,” he said. “This is something I’ve got to do – something I’ve wanted to do for a long time. I’m going to kill a lot of people and get into a lot of trouble, more trouble than ever before. I’ll probably lose my life. How can I possibly take you with me?”

Mo Xuanyu scowled up at him. It was a very weak scowl – barely more than a pout. “You think that’s going to make me not want to come with you?”

Xue Yang’s eyebrows went up. “You cry at the sight of blood!”

“I cry at a lot of things!”

Xue Yang wasn’t sure how to respond to that. It was true, Mo Xuanyu cried at a lot of things.

“Maybe if I come with you, it won’t be so bad!”

Yeeeeah, Xue Yang wasn’t going to count on that.

“Or maybe you don’t have to go…?”

“I have to go,” he explained. “If I don’t go, I can’t get revenge, and I have to have revenge.”

Mo Xuanyu blinked up at him.

“I don’t really understand, but okay,” he said, and tugged on his arm. “Let’s go together, then. I promise I won’t cry!”

-

He cried.

He cried a lot.

-

“Stop fucking crying.”

-

“Just – ugh. Listen. You’re ruining the mood.”

-

“If you can’t stop crying, go away. Now. Or I’ll stab you!”

-

“Okay, see, look, I just killed the leaders, see? Just the old men. Everyone else is just locked in their rooms. Once the sect leader comes back, I’ll kill him too, and that’ll be all. Okay? Everyone else lives. I promise. Now stop crying, okay?”

-

“I don’t want to know,” Jin Guangyao said when they got back. “I don’t want to know at all.”

“Good,” Xue Yang grumbled. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Enough people heard about the reason for what you did that opinions are mixed as to whether your actions were the Chang clan’s just rewards for their former misdeeds or if they were actually wrong,” Jin Guangyao said. He looked irritated. “But you still killed high-ranking members of a sect, and you left enough alive that they’re demanding your head on a platter. You’re going to need to run away.”

Mo Xuanyu hesitantly gestured as if he wished to speak.

“Yes, you can go with him. Now that my father is dead, no one cares where you are.”

Mo Xuanyu beamed.

“You’re just going to let us go?” Xue Yang asked suspiciously. “That seems unlike you. What’s in it for you?”

“Oh, I’m not just going to let you go. I’m going to give you money, too,” Jin Guangyao said. “And all you need to do for me is one little tiny favor –”

Pity that that was when Xue Yang stopped listening, too busy staring at Mo Xuanyu’s delighted face and counting all the way he was in for it now.

-

“I’ve always wanted to take care of a baby,” Mo Xuanyu said happily.

“Good for you,” Xue Yang said darkly as he stalked through the streets.

He would rather that Jin Guangyao had needed a body buried and a death covered up or something – and judging by the baby’s perturbed expression, it probably agreed with him. Fuck, maybe Jin Guangyao had meant for them to murder the baby once they got it far enough out of the way. It was just as plausible as Mo Xuanyu's assumption that they were supposed to take care of it.

Damnit, maybe he should have been listening.

“Listen, neither of us are equipped to handle a baby. Go find a woman to help us – someone poor and helpless who doesn’t have any other choice.”

“Okay!”

-

Xue Yang shut his eyes. “What exactly,” he said slowly, “did you think I asked you to get us a woman for, exactly?”

“To…watch the baby?” Mo Xuanyu guessed. “When we’re busy or sleeping? Anyway, what’s wrong with A-Qing, anyway? She’s nice!”

“I’m not nice,” A-Qing said. The damn brat was smirking – and for once it wasn’t his damn brat, but some blind brat with a cocky expression. “I stole your wallet and you burst into tears and it was really embarrassing.”

“He does that,” Xue Yang said wearily. At least he’d noticed the theft this time – all of his lessons in ‘how not to be a sucker and get constantly taken advantage of’ were maybe having something of an impact. Maybe. “For some reason I’m apparently into it.”

He couldn’t explain it any other way.

“…loser.”

“I will stab you,” Xue Yang threatened. “I don’t care if you’re blind.”

“Won’t someone tell me why A-Qing isn’t a perfectly good babysitter?” Mo Xuanyu demanded. He was holding the baby in his arms again – the baby liked him more than it did Xue Yang, which meant that between Mo Xuanyu and the baby, the baby had better self-preservation instincts – and he was trying his best stern scowl which was of course barely more than a pout and a so-called ‘fierce’ expression that made Xue Yang want to laugh.

Not even Mo Xuanyu’s horrific make-up skills could make thatface intimidating. Or maybe it was just that the person behind the face was just so completely unthreatening that there was no help for it?

“Well? Tell me!”

Xue Yan opened his mouth, then shrugged and shut it again.

A-Qing patted Mo Xuanyu on the shoulder. “I’m too young. No milk.”

“…milk?”

“You know. The thing babies eat?”

“…milk,” Mo Xuanyu repeated, only now he looked absolutely heartbroken at having failed the mission that Xue Yang had assigned him almost entirely just to get him out of the way while Xue Yang collected some spare cash and threatened their way onto a ride out of this piece of shit town.

“It’s fine,” Xue Yang said hastily. “We’ll just get a goat or something, I don’t know.”

“Okay, I actually only came here to laugh at you,” A-Qing said. “But now I’m legitimately worried about this baby. Don’t you two know anything? How’d you even get a baby, anyway?”

-

“Stop laughing. It’s not that funny.”

-

“Seriously. Stop laughing, or I stab you.”

“Don’t worry, A-Qing,” Mo Xuanyu said. “He doesn’t mean it! Threats are just how he expresses affection!”

“It most certainly is not.”

“That is absolutely amazing,” A-Qing said, wiping her eyes. “Best thing I’ve ever heard., if by best I mean worse-but-hilarious. I mean. If that’s what he considers affection, what must his flirting be like?”

“No one is flirting with anyone!”

-

“Are you going to leave at some point?”

“Obviously not,” A-Qing said. She’d caught the same ride as them, using Xue Yang’s cash no less – Mo Xuanyu had insisted that it was the least they could do after the whole milk misunderstanding, which was stupid, she ought to be paying them for wasting their time. Xue Yang couldn’t wait to get rid of her, although he had to admit that she’d been pretty useful in terms of putting on the ‘poor sad blind girl and her two brothers all alone in the world’ act to get them a room at the inn at prices even Xue Yang felt comfortable paying. “Are you joking? This is so much funnier than walking by myself. Anyway, I enjoy watching people crash and burn.”

“Aren’t you too young to be such a bitch?” Xue Yang hissed. “And, I don’t know, blind?”

“You know what I mean.”

“I don’t care what you –”

The sound of crying came from the other room.

It was quickly followed by a second set of crying.

Xue Yang felt the onset of a headache.

“…truce?” A-Qing suggested sweetly, as if she knew exactly how much it pissed him off and thought it was the funniest thing ever, which was…probably accurate, actually. “I’ll get the baby to stop crying if you do the same with Mo Xuanyu.”

Yeah, that was definitely a headache. The sort of headache called why do I like that brat.

Mo Xuanyu owed him so much candy for putting up with this shit.

“Fine,” Xue Yang said begrudgingly. “Truce. Temporarily. And then you leave!”

-

“So we live here now, huh?” A-Qing said, looking around the house they’d claimed. “That’s neat.”

“Why do you live with us again?” Xue Yang asked her, though by now he barely even meant it. A-Qing was clearly another one in the same mold as Mo Xuanyu: you just couldn’t say no to her…or, rather, you could, at length and top volume and with threats, only it just didn’t stick. “I definitely did not recall asking you to stay.”

Though it was nice to have someone else around that wasn’t going to get immediately ripped off by literally anyone who came their way. Mo Xuanyu’d started getting conned by the literal infant that they were taking care of – he was completely hopeless.

Also, questionably blind or not, at least A-Qing had no hesitation about beating people with her stick if they struck her the wrong way, which was a life approach Xue Yang agreed with wholeheartedly.

“She’s going to learn to cultivate!” Mo Xuanyu chirped from where he was applying his make-up. “Demonic cultivation, too! We had a whole discussion about it while you were out getting groceries!”

That made a certain amount of sense, Xue Yang supposed. You didn’t need talent to be a demonic cultivator – technically speaking, given his bloodline, Mo Xuanyu was more naturally gifted in cultivation than Xue Yang, which was just wrong on all sorts of levels – and it was certainly more effective a defense mechanism than A-Qing’s stick. If there were two of them, they could protect Mo Xuanyu and the baby more effectively, taking shifts when needed, and Mo Xuanyu, who was also going to learn demonic cultivation no matter how many times Xue Yang had to hammer it into his head, could be the last line of defense, largely since no one would ever expect him to be able to do…anything…and they’d be right, too.

So it wasn’t the craziest idea in the world, only…

“…who is she going to be learning from, exactly!?”

-

“Have you ever considered charging for your skill in teaching cultivation lessons instead of your skill in stabbing people?” A-Qing asked one day. They were lying on the ground and having the corpses they’d raised fan them to try to reduce the temperature – it was that sort of day. Also, Mo Xuanyu, who might’ve objected, wasn’t around. “You’re not actually that bad at this. Might be more profitable, and less work. Just a thought.”

“Shut up. I’m great at stabbing people.”

“Yeah, but then after a while we have to move because people get annoyed at that, and it’s getting a little annoying to have to pack up all the time.”

“We’d have to move anyway. We’re wanted criminals, remember?”

“We could be wanted criminals with a house. Besides, wouldn’t you like to be called Teacher Xue?”

“What? No. Gross.”

-

“So you see, it turns out that they were teaching demonic cultivation in a safe and organized fashion,” Xiao Xingchen explained enthusiastically. “They’d even gathered up their own little sect! And of course everyone heard what the Chang clan did, so there’s no need to worry about them going around and murdering people at random – it was a targeted revenge scheme.”

“We’re working on teaching them regular cultivation,” Song Lan agreed, nodding. “To help mitigate the negative effects of demonic cultivation…well, we started out by just teaching them.”

“It turned out that they’d been secretly teaching all of the local delinquents, too, or at least Mo-gongzi had been teaching a few and Mistress Qing was teaching a few others, and even Sect Leader Xue had a few disciples,” Xiao Xingchen said, politely omitting or possibly having not noticed the fact that Mo Xuanyu had been teaching his ‘friends’ (read: scammers trying to take advantage of him), while A-Qing and Xue Yang had each been trying to form competing gangs and/or obtain lackeys. Xue Yang didn’t mind the oversight, largely on account of the fact that A-Qing had been winning, damn her – he’d kept getting distracted by inventing new things. “And a few of them had real talent – and you know that Zichen and I have always wanted to start a sect of our own, with no bloodline ties –”

“We’re joining their sect,” Song Lan said. “We’ll be leading the orthodox side, while they lead the demonic cultivation aspect – safely, of course.”

“I guess it’s better than them being crazy,” Jiang Cheng said. He sounded dubious. “I don’t like it, but at least all the demonic cultivators can be in one spot, you know?”

He made it sound like they’d be dropping off new ones there in the future.

Like they’d opened up some sort of pet rescue and were taking in unwanted puppies or something.

“Agreed,” Nie Mingjue said. “To the extent that they aren’t causing active harm, containment seems an appropriate remedy here. Who seconds the motion?”

“I do,” Lan Xichen said, and smiled at the newly agreed-upon sect. “Welcome back to the cultivation world, Sect Leader Xue.”

-

“I don’t want to know,” Jin Guangyao said, glaring.

“Don’t worry,” Xue Yang told him. “This comes as much of a shock to me as to you.”

The glare intensified, but that was fine. Jin Guangyao’s facial expressions, however minor and generally overlooked, had been the only thing getting him through that awful, awful meeting just now where people kept trying to salute him and make him salute back and if he didn’t then he was letting down Mo Xuanyu (who would send him a sad look) and A-Qing (who would hear about it from Mo Xuanyu later and then find a way to step on his foot right when he was concentrating on something).

Not to mention their two new resident lovebirds, who looked so righteous and proper from the outside but who also may or may not have accidentally full-on actually resurrected some dead asshole cultivator more or less the first time they’d joined Xue Yang in his demonic cultivation laboratory – which would have been fine, you know, that happened in demonic cultivation though not normally to quite such a wow-is-he-actually-alive extent, except that the guy’s intermittent moments of clarity suggested that his two new sect members might have just brought back the Yiling Patriarch himself, which was going to make all of them wanted criminal again the second anyone found out about it.

Ugh.

Being called sect leader was completely not worth this shit.

Xue Yang comforted himself with the reminder that later today he was planning on publicly introducing Jin Guangyao to the Xue sect’s head junior disciple “Xue Song” and announcing loudly that the brat needed some lessons in manners, that he’d heard that that was Lianfeng-zun’s specialty, and nominating him to take care of the kid while they were visiting.

See how the fucker liked that.

“I always knew Xue-gege could do great things!” Mo Xuanyu said, clapping his hands as A-Qing rolled her (by now, Xue Yang was almost definitely sure not actually blind) eyes behind his back. “As long as I went with him!”

[simsadventures]

Better Like This: Chapter 8: What Now

Summary: After the most of your heat and Bucky’s rut subsides, Bucky feels the need to finally explain, why he didn’t want to be near you when you two met.

Warnings: swearing, mentions of sex (nothing graphic), fluff, Amber (she is a warning on her own, trust me), mentions of heartbreak, mentions of abuse (both mental and physical), angst

Word Count: 2228

A/N: Once again, thank you guys so much for reading and enjoying this story. I love you al!! This one’s a little shorter, sorry. P.S.: I hope you won’t stone me to death after this one. xx

Series Masterlist __ Masterlist

< Previous Chapter

After days of pretty much non-stop sex, you finally laid in bed, pizzas on your laps, and you were watching Netflix. You needed to relax, after the craziness, you two delved into. You couldn’t be happier to be finally mated to Bucky, but your heat was rough, and you needed him almost all the time. Not that Bucky would complain, his rut was strong enough for him to be able to keep up with you.

But the calm moments, when you could actually think and talk were really appreciated.

You were laying on Bucky’s chest, not even caring what was on the screen, as long as you could hear his steady heartbeat underneath you. But his heart started to beat a little faster and considering you were both spent, you didn’t really understand it. You looked up and saw that Bucky was deep in his thoughts.

You touched his cheek lightly and made him turn his head to you. “What are you thinking about, Bucky?” He smiled and kissed the top of your head. “Nothing goes unnoticed with you, does it? I feel like I should tell you something.”

You frowned. “If you wanna tell me that you regret that we-“

“What? No, Jesus, of course, I don’t regret it! How could you think so? I’m the luckiest bastard alive, baby.” You rebased your breath and calmed yourself.

“I don’t know, I guess I’m still worried you’re gonna wake up one day, and realise that I’m not what you wanted, that I’m just not enough, or something like that, I don’t know…”

You didn’t want to look at him, too scared you’d see your words hitting home, and him actually realising you were right. Instead, his fingers traced his mark on your neck and then slid along the column of your throat till he was holding your chin between his fingers. He pulled your head, so you were facing him, and kissed you. It was light as a feather, but still conveyed so many emotions, it actually made your eyes water.

“Y/N, I know I’ve been an ass, and I’ll forever regret it, but trust me when I say that you are the best thing that happened to me and that I’ll make sure I show you every single day for the rest of our lives. I don’t know what I’d do without you baby. I love you.”

By now, tears were streaming down your face, and you looked at Bucky through your wet eyelashes. “I love you too, James. I can’t believe we were lucky enough to find each other.”

Bucky smiled at you warmly and caught few tears with his thumb. “Don’t cry, doll. It breaks my heart, seeing you like this.”

“Even if they are happy tears, sort of?” He chuckled and put his forehead against yours. “Even if they are happy tears. I wanna see you smile and laugh and be happy, no tears needed.”

“Can’t promise you anything, Buck. I’m a cryer.” He rolled his eyes and chuckled slightly, kissing each of your eyelids to soothe the waterfall.

“You wanted to tell me something before I started freaking out. Do you still feel like it?”

Bucky could swear he fell in love with you even more at that very moment. You didn’t push him into anything, you were always patient with him, and he couldn’t believe his own luck. He knew that if pushed, he would push back, and it would all end up in a heated argument. But like this? This was perfect for him.

“I need to tell you, baby. It’s a long story, but one I think you should know. You remember my outburst when we met?”

Duh, how could you forget? But you didn’t want to be harsh, so you just nodded. “Well, I had a certain experience with an Omega, and after that, I kinda felt like every Omega was the same, you know? Like everyone’s gonna be like her.”

This was hard for you to hear. You didn’t even know what she did to him yet, and you already felt bad for him. The other thing was, and you would never admit that, that you didn’t really like him talking about his previous Omega while laying with you in his bed. But you pushed the jealous part of you somewhere deep and listened to what Bucky had to say.

“Her name is Amber. We met at a bar, a few weeks after I got transferred to the SVU. She was all smiles, beautiful, and just, I don’t know, I felt like she radiated such a good light, you know? We started going out, and for a while, I was really happy. She would always call me her Alpha and stuff, but there was this little voice in me telling me not to claim her. I don’t know what it was, but I’m sure as hell glad I listened to it.”

“Well, I’m glad you listened to it too, trust me.” You smiled up at him, and he kissed your head as a result. His arm got a little tighter, and his heart started to beat a little faster, so you knew the bad part was quickly approaching.

“She would always ask me if I didn’t want to try a threesome, and I’m not really into sharing what’s mine, so I always declined. One night, I came to her house, and she was there, but not alone. Another Omega was sitting on her couch, half-naked, just like Amber. She just smiled at me and told me that we were all gonna have a lot of fun. I didn’t want to have a part in that, so I yelled at her, and left.

Later I found out that the other Omega didn’t leave and they did have their fun. But back then, she promised she sent her away, and that she loved me and whatnot. But she changed, or rather, her true self came out. I moved into her house but still kept my apartment, call it intuition and Sam’s and Steve’s bugging.

She would kinda dictate my life, but I didn’t realise what she was doing until it was a bit too late. She would check on me at work, would cause a scene whenever I went out with the boys for a beer, so eventually, I just stopped going out to prevent a fight. She would always tell me that I didn’t care about her and that I’m the worst Alpha ever. It broke my heart every time because I went out of my way to show her I cared.

Hell… I even got myself into some pretty bad debts, just to pay for her fucking lifestyle. But it still wasn’t enough. One time, I came home after a particularly tricky case, but she just didn’t believe me. She started punching me, and I just…”

Here he stopped his monologue and took a deep breath. By now, you were sitting next to him a watching him with fear in your eyes. Was he telling you she was abusing him also physically?

“I don’t hit women, Y/N. I didn’t know how to stop her, so I just let her. She made me believe I was the bad guy and deserved all that. She would always tell me that she’s the best thing that ever happened to me and that nobody else would ever be interested in me, and I believed her. Every single word of hers made me think lower and lower of myself until there was barely anything left.

Steve and Sam noticed something was going on, but I couldn’t tell them. I couldn’t tell anyone. Even if I wanted, who would believe me that a grown-ass Alpha wasn’t able to defend himself from his little Omega.” he chuckled darkly, and your heart constricted even more. He was looking at you anymore, just staring somewhere in front of him.

“And you know what? Then I found out she was cheating on me! Told me that I’m too weak and that she hates such weak creatures. But the funniest thing was, she wasn’t cheating on me with some strong Alpha, or Beta, no, she was going behind my back to meet female Omegas? Her explanation being, that she is dominant, and that they let her be so. But that none of them is as weak as me, that I’m a disgrace.

And that’s when something snapped in me. I didn’t yell at her or put my hand on her, I didn’t have the energy to do so. I just packed my things, told her to never come close to me and left. I then told everything to Steve and Sam, and, surprisingly, they believed me and even wanted me to press charges for domestic violence, but I just wanted to have my own peace. I started doing loads of therapy, and even if I got over the things she said, I promised to myself to never trust another Omega in my life,” this time he looked at you, and the corners of his mouth turned slightly upwards, “I’m glad I didn’t keep that promise, Y/N. But yeah, now you know. Now you see that your true mate is a weak little shit, who can’t even defend himself. I’m so sorry, Omega, I-“

You didn’t let him finish. You put a hand over his mouth and finally let the tears welling up in your eyes fall. Someone hurt your perfect man. This amazing person in front of you, who treated you like a queen for the past few weeks (after the realisation that he’s been a jackass), was hurt so bad, you suddenly understood his behaviour.

“You think I would ever think of you as weak, James?”

It was probably the first time you called him by his first name, and you loved the way it rolled off your tongue. Bucky seemed to have liked it too, ‘cause his eyes lit up a little. “I mean, after what I just told you? Yeah, doll, you have every right to think of me this way, and I would totally understand if you didn’t want to be with someone like me.”

“Someone like you? You mean someone as smart, funny, a great cop, beautiful, thoughtful, good in bed, as you? That what you mean? Because that’s what I see, baby. I could never think of you as weak. She is an abusive bitch, both mentally and physically, and it doesn’t matter that you’re an Alpha and she’s and Omega. She is manipulative and despicable and a cheating whore. I hate her with all my heart for hurting someone I love! I love you, James, you are my strong Alpha. And no-one can tell me any different, not even you!”

Bucky lunged at you and pushed you to the mattress starting kissing you all over your face. You could feel something wet on your face, and when you opened your eyes, you could see that even if he was kissing you, he was crying.

“I love you so much, and I don’t know which gods I should be worshipping for letting you in my life. But I’m still scared that you’re gonna wake up one day and realise I’m not what you want.”

You stroke his cheek and wiped away a few stray tears. “You are exactly what I want, Bucky, and we have the rest of our lifetimes for me to prove it to you. I’m in this forever, so whatever you say to me, it’s not gonna make me abandon you, you’re stuck with me, Barnes.”

He laughed, now warmth back in his face and said, “I’m one lucky bastard, baby, that’s for sure.” Your heat and rut then took over one last time, and you lost yourself in pleasure and love the other provided. You could have sworn this was your personal heaven. Just you and Bucky. Nothing could go wrong in the little bubble you two shared.

—

Bucky had to go to work the next day. And as much as he hated to leave you there alone, after all, you were two newly mated people, he knew he had to go to work to take care of some stuff. You texted him a few times, telling him what you were doing to ease his mind. The last text he got from you was that you were gonna take a nap, so Bucky didn’t think much of it when you didn’t text him till the end of his shift. He couldn’t stop thinking about you, about how you just accepted his past, and in those few days together showed him just how good his life can be when sharing it with someone. He couldn’t wait to come home to you and hold you in his arms.  

What he didn’t expect was to come home to a completely destroyed apartment with you nowhere to be found. The little things you did manage to bring to his house before your heat started, were still laying there. So was your phone.

Bucky’s heart stopped. He frantically searched for you, hoping he’d find you crouched somewhere in the closet. But you just weren’t there, and with that realisation, Bucky’s throat made the most desperate cry anyone could ever hear, the roar of a broken-hearted Alpha.

/ Next Chapter >

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[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #272

“i don’t care what you have to say - it makes no difference / it’s all because of you, we’re fuckin’ infamous.”

How many children are in your family? I have a big extended family, so uh... and what is the age cutoff for "children?" My simplest answer is three, that being my older sister's kids, but I do have a half-sister with some young-ish children, but I know none of them. Oh, and my other half-sister has kids too, but again, they're not that young, and the youngest son I've never met. What is something you and your parents used to argue over often? Money. What was your first word? "Dada." A fast food restaurant that you hate with a passion? Arby's is fucking disgusting. Give me a song that is underestimated/not well known. Probably like half of Otep's songs. "Lords of War" comes to mind first. Which one of your friends knows everything about you? Sara knows the most. Who is your favorite teacher that you have this year? N/A Have you ever solved a Rubik’s Cube? No, I don't have that kind of patience. Like I've fiddled with 'em before if they're right at my disposal and I'm just sitting and waiting or something, but I've never gotten far. Who do you think is the easiest to talk to? It depends on what I'm talking about, but probably Sara. Or Mom, idk. Do you have a favorite metal band or do you not like metal? Ozzy, of course. Metal is my favorite genre. Are you talking to anyone right now? No. What’s your favorite kind of science? Genetics. Do you walk home or take a bus? From school? Well I'm not in school anymore, but for almost the entire time I was, my mom drove me and picked me up. I only took a bus for some of Jason's junior and all of his senior year to his house afterwards. Who did you last go to the movies with? My dad, I think. If you could see anyone (dead or alive) in concert, who would you pick? I'd probably choose Metallica so long as my mom could come. She laughed/cried hysterically when she found out they were finally coming here I think two years ago, but we couldn't go. She fucking adores Metallica, maybe more than I do Ozzy. She's always said that she only needs three things in life: God, her babies, and Metallica. Who’s the cutest person you know? Define "cute." The cutest fucking thing I have EVER seen was Sara when we went to a reptile expo together; she was a kid in Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. I could not stop smiling at her, jc. "Cute" as in who I feel most fits the traditional definition, my old friend Alon. I think I'll always answer "Alon" to questions like this lmao. How about the funniest? GIRT. Oh my FUCKING god, Girt. I've had my biggest and most frequent laughs with that guy. Have you ever had acne? I sure did going through puberty. It wasn't the worst in the world, but I definitely had it. Where is your biggest scar located? I think the scar from my surgery, but I can't see it so I can't *really* tell? Look up what a pilonidal cyst is to figure out where that's at, oof. Where did your last hug take place? A hotel room. Recently, Mom, my sisters, and I saw my grandmother for probably the last time. She was with her husband and Mom's brother passing through. She's quit chemo for pancreatic cancer as now it's just become unbearable, and it's obvious she doesn't have much time left. It was... weird, seeing her in such a skin-and-bone, very frail state. We've had a rocky relationship, but I'm going to miss her regardless. What is your current desktop picture? My favorite picture of Teddy. Do you still think of that Gwen Stefani song when you spell "bananas?" HA HA yes! Do you like the way your hair naturally is, or do you change it? I love how healthy my hair is, but I'm definitely not a fan of how quickly it becomes oily. And I wish it knew how to hold some damn dye. Do you know anyone who died accidentally by doing something stupid? Not personally, but yes. How many different languages have you taken in school? First I took Latin, but I SUCKED at it, and then I took German for four semesters and loved it. If your cell phone broke, would your parents make you pay for a new one? No, considering I don't have a source of income. Are your parents still married? No. Are you in a monogamous relationship? Not currently, but I'd only go into one that's monogamous. Have you ever met your favorite band? No. Have you ever drawn on someone's face while they were sleeping? No, I'm not an asshole. Have you ever fallen down a hill? No, but I've certainly rolled down them as a kid. Would you scuba dive in shark-infested waters if you had the chance? I hate the term "shark-infested." It's where they live. But anyway, I don't think I'd swim with sharks, but maybe. What is your favorite slow song? BRO idk there's so many. Do you believe in karma? No. If there were aliens on earth, would you be afraid? It would depend on their demeanor. If your best friend died, would you be able to speak at their funeral? I'd sure as hell want to, but I'd have a hard time getting through it. Are your pets asleep? Roman is probably snoozing by the window in the living room, and Venus probably is, given she's nocturnal. Have you ever wished you were an only child? No. Have you ever hurt someone on purpose? As a kid I got in huge trouble for smacking my sister before. As an adult I haven't. What is your current favorite song? I'm pretty obsessed with NateWantsToBattle's cover of "Feel Good Inc." Is there something you do on a regular basis, that you don’t enjoy doing? Why? The person I copied this from answered "shower" and big same. Like of course I do it, but boy do I hate it. It's a chore to me and especially when I'm depressed, I'll put it off. Have you ever felt jealous of anyone else’s success? Yes. When it comes to success, I can be very envious. Never in a hateful way/wishing the person wasn't where they were at, but nevertheless, still envious. Who did you last speak to in person? Mom. Have you ever had a one-night stand? If you have, did you regret it afterwards? Never had one, don't plan to. Have you ever done something that you said you’d NEVER do? Yes. What was the last thing you asked for help with? Who did you go to for help? Uhhh... probably something from Mom, though I don't remember what. I've avoided that since she's recovering from surgery. Who was the last person to text you? Sara! If your significant other had several other sexual partners before you, how much would that bother you? Would you worry about being compared to the others? How many previous sexual partners do you think is acceptable? If they were serious relationships genuinely based on love, it wouldn't - to a degree. I have to be honest with myself and say like if my s/o had a large number of past sexual partners at our age, I'd be wary about their loyalty and dedication to one person. Idk what I'd consider "too many" exactly. For me, maybe like... six? Who was the last person of the opposite sex to send you a message on Facebook? What if you had a baby with that person? My friend Ian, and whoa buddy, we're just above acquaintances. How many people of your preferred sex have hurt you? Just one seriously. Have your friends ever talked to you about the forms of contraception they use? What form of contraception do you prefer? It's been casually mentioned, sure. I'm not sexually active so don't take any right now, but if I was, I'd be on birth control and demand condom usage because FUCK the chances of getting pregnant. If you told your parents that you were going to be a parent, how do you think they would react? I think they'd both be terrified for me. I have NO business raising a kid when I'm barely a proper adult. They'd also be confused as fuck about who the dad would be. You find out that the person you love/like is having a child with someone else. What do you say? If I found out somehow that Jason was going to be a dad, I can 100% GUARANTEE you I would faint, vomit, and have an emotional breakdown. Literally all three. I wouldn't be able to "say" anything. If I found out Sara was, I'd be pretty speechless and beyond terrified for her. When was the last time you said something and thought “Why the hell did I say that?” What exactly did you say, and who did you say it to? How did the person react? Hm. It's funny, I'm both very impulsive with what I can say if I'm upset or angry, but otherwise I seriously think twice about what's coming out of my mouth. I can't remember the last time the former happened. NO WAIT. So my chronic nightmares/terrors, right? A few days ago I woke up from one growling, "I'll break your fucking neck too, bitch," and it was to my very own mother, as she was choking me for some reason I don't remember. I was disgusted when I woke up. In these nightmares, I am SO much more aggressive than I actually am and it really scares me. It's gotten to the point that I'm genuinely scared of what I may be capable of. Who was the last person outside of family that told you they loved you? Sara. What song reminds you of your first boyfriend/girlfriend? My first real one, holy fucking shit, a lot. For where we currently stand, "Another Life" by Motionless In White haunts me. Not only is it his favorite band, but the lyrics just scream him and me. It's one of those that sometimes makes me tear up. I hate that I love that song. Outside of family, who were the last three girls you talked to? Sara, Summer, and Chelsea, I think. Outside of family, who were the last three guys you talked to? Uhhh Ian, my grandma's husband (he's not my actual grampa), and my sister's husband, probably, or nephew. Who is/was your strictest teacher in school? Mrs. P-something in 7th grade. I didn't not like her, she was just very strict. Have you ever felt so ill that you literally didn’t know what to do? Oh yeah, emotionally at least. At your part of the world, is it summer now? Yes, ew. What’s the warmest it can get over there? How about the coldest? Around 110*F; coldest, around... sub-20*F on rare days. Is there a bad habit you’re trying to break right now? I need to lay off the soda. Is it easy to find a job in your preferred field in your home town? FUCK no. Have you ever played the original Mass Effect trilogy? Nope. Have you ever made jewelry? The kiddy kinds with beads and stuff, yeah. Which app do you use the most on your phone? Umm Facebook or Dragons of Atlantis. Did you learn to play an instrument as a kid? If so, which one? In elementary school, we all learned the recorder. From middle school to my junior high school year, I played the flute. What is the best part of your most ordinary day? I don't even know anymore. If you learned that you suddenly needed an aid of some sort to do something that you normally don’t need (glasses, hearing aid, etc.) Would you comply or would you put it off until there was no choice anymore? It would definitely depend on the issue and its severity. What’s the strangest saying you’ve come across? Please tell me it's not just the South that says "it's colder than a witch's titty" lmao. Do you read any web comics? No. Which social media platform do you use the most, if any? Facebook. Which game did you play the most as a kid during recess? Does anyone remember "Four Square?" I don't even remember the rules, but my friends and I played it all the time. Are you one of those lucky people to own a walk-in closet? No, not that I need one honestly. Is there a random object you own that has a huge personal significance? I’ve told the story of my pebble from my partial hospitalization program many times. Besides that, something really random? Uhhh. There’s probably something, seeing as a lot of the things I keep mean something deep to me, but I don’t know about another truly strange one. Are you one of those people who chew two pieces of gum, not one? Usually. Do you have a wall calendar? In the kitchen. Have you ever been to Canada? No, but totally serious, I want to move there. I just realistically won’t because I don’t want to leave my family. Do you believe in superstitions? Nope. When was the last time you took a taxi somewhere? I’ve never been in a taxi. Would you ever join the army, airforce or navy? Hell no. How old is the person you last kissed? 22. What was the most embarrassing thing you've had to buy? Nothing. Have you ever mistaken a person's gender? Yes. What was the most expensive thing you've broken? I don’t know. Have you ever been in a car accident? Yes, but thankfully it wasn’t severe. Can you focus well in high-stress situations? FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK NO. Without the aid of mascara, do you have long eyelashes? Yes. I think I’ve shared before that in 9th grade, my teacher like deadass stopped her lecture just to point that out lmaoo. Is there anyone you dread going into public with? Not generally. It can sometimes happen with Dad just because he’s brutally honest and doesn’t have a filter, but it’s more like a discomfort than dread. Are you easily frightened? It depends on the situation. In most instances, yes. Do you have a favorite model? No. What's your current facebook display picture of? It’s just a headshot of me with my skull necklace and a tank top. Is there anyone whose hair you envy? Peoples’ whose actually hold color. >_> Have you ever dated someone who was extremely shy? No, I’m the shy one. Or have you dated someone who took things too fast? Yes. Do you or anyone you know have an account on Deviantart? I have one, and I know a few other people who do. Do you listen to Daughtry? Not really, except “No Surprise.” Do you get your eyebrows waxed? Not anymore. Is there a pet that you desperately want? A tarantula, preferably a Brazilian Black. I’ve gotten soooo into tarantulas, but it’s a “hell no” from Mom about having one in her house. Would you ever get your bellybutton pierced? No. My stomach isn’t “pretty” and I know it sure wouldn’t look flattering. Are you one of those people who are always pushing their limits? I wish I could say yes. Have you ever made a totally amazing snow fort? No. I didn’t have the patience for that as a kid. All we really made out of snow were snowmen and balls to throw. If you draw, what's one thing you always have trouble with? Proportions. Is there someone you know moving away any time soon? I don’t believe so. Is there a garbage can in the room you’re currently in? No. Have you ever been snorkeling? No. Who was the last person you apologized to? Mom, probably. Do you throw things when you’re frustrated? No. People who throw shit scare me. Do you prefer sharks or dolphins? Dolphins. Before meerkats, they were my favorite animal. What was the last piece of furniture you purchased? Purchased, I don’t know. A lot of what we have now is second-hand. Has anyone ever told you that you are too picky when it comes to the people you date? What about not picky enough? No one has said either. When was the last time you went to a bar? Never. What three things would you change about your life? Number one, be mentally stable. Two, my body. Three, be financially stable. Was there anything unusual or unique about your birth? There was an ice storm that Dad had to drive through lmao. What was the best conversation you’ve had recently? Man, idk. I don’t talk a lot to begin with. What is the next book you are going to read? Wings of Fire: The Dark Secret should come in the mail today!! :’) Describe the hardest decision you have ever made. I had to choose to either let Jason go or keep him in my heart until it killed me/I killed myself. I can almost 100% absolutely promise you if my life was continued how it was in 2016, I would NOOOOOOOT still be here. I think it’s pretty clear by now some scars are buried too deep to heal, seeing as he is literally faintly on my mind every day, but at least I know how to be happy without someone who didn’t believe in my strength. Why did you last see the doctor? I thought I broke my foot. Turns out I just tore a ligament, but badly. I think it’s been… one and half-two months and it’s only JUST starting to feel truly better. Day one, I couldn’t even walk. Days after, I had to have help. Then for weeks it was nothing but walking at a snail’s pace on the side of my foot. I’m so surprised it wasn’t broken. Post a recent picture of yourself. WOW what timing considering I took a picture yesterday, and I barely ever take any. I EVEN PUT MAKEUP ON!!!

[id-rather-be-an-outsider]

tagged by @lucypcvensie uwu thanks for putting up with my weirdo self ily <3

How tall are you? 5′2 

What color and style is your hair? lots of people say my hair’s a light brown, but hair stylists say it’s a dark blonde so I’ll trust their judgement // my hair’s curly

What color are your eyes? blue (with these little flecks of gold right around the irises, you can only see them if you look real close)

Do you wear glasses? I have glasses, don’t necessarily wear them all the time

Do you wear braces? I used to, but I developed root resorption and had to get them off early (spring of 2017) so now none of my teeth toouch except for in the very back :( makes it really hard to eat samiches (yes that’s how I like to spell sandwiches fight me)

What’s your fashion sense? so I don’t count most days as my fashion sense bc I wear athleisure ish allllllll the time out of laziness, but when I do make an effort I have two ends of things bc I’m androgynous. so on a day when I’m feeling more masculine you’re gonna see me in a sporty-type-look (spandex, just barely sagging joggers, a graphic tee, my gold chain and jordans, I usually pull my hair into a ponytail and lay my edges), but on a day when I feel more feminine you’re gonna see me in some tried-and-true type of clothes (cute shirt, leggings, heels, jewelry, makeup did, hair down and [hopefully] acting right), but on a day when I’m feeling in-between I’ll try to experiment or be “edgy” (basically mixing and matching or trying something I saw a celebrity do and thought was cute). regardless of any style I’m in, though, you’re always gonna see me with my nails done, whether that means I got acrylics on or that I painted them myself... just know. that’s how we do. and by we I mean me.

Full name? I won’t share my last name, but Eden Amaris (fun fact: amaris can be pronounced two ways!) Is my first and middle

When were you born? December 18, 1999

Where are you from and where do you live now? was born in Federal Way, WA but I consider myself to be from Tacoma, WA as I’ve spent all of my most important years there (early childhood + hs + uni). I now live in Tacoma.

What school do you go to? University of Washington

What kind of student are you? a fucking mess I’m quiet at first, but once I’m comfortable I’m rly talkative and answer so many questions that my teachers will literally stop calling on me unless if there’s no one else lmaooo, I’ve also had several classmates and teachers tell me I should be a teacher and surprise, surprise, I do want to be a teacher for some time

Do you like school? f-f-f-FUCK YEA I LIKE SCHOOL how is that even a question??? to take it down a couple notches, yes, I love school, whether it’s for sports or for learning, I’m always excited to come to school everyday wow what a frickin nerd amirite, frickin loser

Favorite subject? depends on my professor. at this point, I highkey hate all of my classes rn bc I don’t feel like I’m learning anything. that miiight also have something to do with depression and anxiety though so idk what to tell ya man

Favorite tv shows? not a super TV person, but I’m a thot for Steven Universe

Favorite movie? I love tf out of movies, my all time would have to be Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (I just pretend that WftPotA didn’t happen atm bc I hate sm of what happened in it), but in the last few days I’ve watched War Horse (I cried like a bitch lemme tell ya), Secretariat (didn’t cry like a bitch but got teary-eyed) and 42 (I did cry at certain parts but it’s kinda uplifting so ya know, wasn’t super sad) and they were all lovely so if you haven’t seen them yet, go watch them! They’re all free on Netflix

Favorite book? When I was little it was this book called Junket (that thing is older than my grandparents, good lordte), I think some of my favorites rn tho are Heartless by Marissa Meyer and Tales from the Perilous Realm by J.R.R. Tolkien

Favorite past time? a couple months ago you would’ve thought it was crying from how much I did that, but tbh it’s probably drawing, writing, reading, watching movies, listening to music, sewing, spending time/going on adventures with my friends and helping my friends with their lives. I KNOW THAT’S EVERYTHING BUT I CAN’T HELP IT REEEE my most favorite past time atm is helping my friend Charlie clean and organize his room and designing things for his business, also spending time with my favorite little niecey-poo in the WHOLE WORLD OMGOODNESS HERE IS A PICTURE OF HER BEAUTIFUL SELF I LOVE HER SM SHE IS THE SWEETEST MOST CUTEST AND FUNNIEST AND SMARTEST WITTO GIRL EVER AND I LOVE HER <3

Do you have regrets? boy oh boy, do I: taking so long to forgive my abuser (thx for destroying my childhood @ my biological father), procrastinating, not having enough self-love/worth/confidence, being complacent with so many of the friends I used to have, focusing so much on socializing in hs rather than my sports and my schoolwork, being so afraid to just be myself bc I knew most people don’t want to be friends with a weirdo, the list goes on, all I can do now is move past it though so... ohwell.

Dream job? oh SIS get ready for this: sooo I want to own my own business, known as LEAD Revitalization (L for Love, E for Equity, A for Advocacy, D for Diplomacy - these are the core values of my business), which aims to help revitalize underdeveloped and underserved ethnic communities in the US and around the world and fight against gentrification through implementing art of all mediums in or near historic locations in that community that is representative of the demographic living there (so if the area is a primarily black neighborhood, you’re gonna see art depicting black history and culture, and if the area is primarily Asian you’d see Asian history and culture). I won’t get too into it just bc that would make this post way too long, but if anyone’s interested or wants to hear more you can bml ;) like literally bc I’m passionate af about it so I will talk your head off for days on end if given the chance

Would you ever like to be married? yes

Would you like kids? yes

How many? two or three of my own (I’m hoping for a girl and a boy) just so I can have the experience of having kids, but once they’re grown and out of the house I would like to adopt more if I have the resources to. my cousin’s adopted, so like, idk. I think that if you can adopt a kid, you should, bc there’s so many of them just stuck in the foster system and that’s complete bs

Do you like shopping? yes but I usually don’t like getting myself things (unless if we’re talking groceries or something I actually need), I love to buy things for other ppl tho if I can

What countries have you visited? canada for like 3 days technically, I just went to Mt. Whistler for spring snowboarding (that shit hurted) with my aunt bc she paid for the whole thing and my passport

Scariest nightmare you have ever had? TRIGGER WARNING: DOMESTIC AND SEXUAL VIOLENCE - I had a nightmare awhile ago that this guy I used to be involved with raped me, I also used to have recurring nightmares after I stopped going to my biological father’s house for visitation where he would come searching for me trying to kill me and my older brother (he’s tried to kill me 3+ times sooo... it makes sense). so like. fun.

Any enemies? S A T A N and myself, or.... my brain, I guess. idk.

Self-doubt? you betcha

Any significant other? kinda? I’m currently fwb with my ex and still have feelings for him (oopsies), we split bc he was going through shit and needed to figure himself out, I’ve been close to him for a phat minute so I’m not really trippin about it. I also have crushes on other people, but nothing’s presented itself as something worth pursuing yet so. yakno.

Do you believe in miracles? lmao I would fuckin hope so, the very fact that I’m alive rn is a gd miracle so yea

How are you? I am so-so. If we’re just talking about today, I’m prolly fine, but if we’re talking long term, I’ve been going through it. I’m just trying to figure myself out atm, and it’s rough, but I’ll probably get there. My friends think I will, at least.

i tag: @crookedly-rainy @secretpatrolpiespy hi I don’t have any other friends on Tumblr so I tagged my friends from Amino Y E E T

[atlas-of-a-human-soul]

T&L part 3: Oh, brother

Word count:1859

Part four

I do not believe an accident of birth makes people sisters or brothers. It makes them siblings, gives them mutuality of parentage. Sisterhood and brotherhood is a condition people have to work at.

- Maya Angelou

Arya’s POV

I’m standing on the beach again. I can feel someone watching me. Turning towards the tree line, I can see something lurking in the shadows but I’m not scared. Walking in the direction of the unknown creature, curiosity pulling me to walk faster, the creature fled before I even reached the green covers of the forest and all I see is a big blur of  dark silver fur.

Instead of running in the opposite direction, I started running after it. Weaving though the trees as if I had roamed these woodlands since a young age, with branches occasionally hitting my face as I was gaining on the creature, until my damn clumsiness decided to step in and I tripped on a root and falling face first onto a dense patch of leaves which still hurt like a bitch, then rolling freely down a small hill. Touching my head blood marks stained my hands, I could see my ankle was probably bruised and the creature was nowhere to be found. Looking around, all I could see was darkness descending upon me, making me weary about how would I get out of the now foreign woods.

The trees were much thicker in the area I found myself in, under the cloak of darkness surrounding me, wind whistling through the woods and cold air licking at my face, creeping under my clothes spreading across my skin as an icy tidal wave, teeth chattering and breath turning into vapor, quickly numbing me. I tried walking in any direction, hoping to stumble upon something familiar, but it was of no use.

Suddenly I heard a sinister laugh echoing around me bringing a different kind of chill down my spine. Spinning around trying to locate the source of the laugh my senses heightened in the darkness, my heart beating faster and adrenaline already coursing through my veins urging my body to choose the flight instead of fight response as if it knows that this foe is undefeatable.

Hearing crunching of the twigs and dead leaves on the cold hard ground I started running. I ran faster then I thought possible, my mind racing faster then my legs, lungs burning with each breath, jumping over logs while praying to God I get out of the woods alive. Looking back I could see the trees swiftly closing the path behind me almost protectively so the evil entity wouldn’t be able to catch me. As I turned to look ahead I slammed into a hard, almost concrete….wall?….no way.

 Figuring it was a tree, I groaned on the floor, but then I heard it again. That laugh. Looking up all I could see was flash of red eyes coming at me at an alarmingly high speed. As I screamed I could hear a distant, painful howl.

„Arya, wake up! Wake up! It’s just a dream sis, it’s just a dream!“

Opening my eyes I found myself in my new room, I was sweating buckets, still screaming and shaking, my ears ringing. I could feel someone shaking me, calling my name. Looking up I could see Sam inspecting me, giving me a once-over to make sure I’m okay.

„It was just a dream Arya, I’m here, you’re safe. Just breathe. Slowly inhale…now exhale. Inhale….and exhale. Good.“

After a few minutes, I finally calmed down, Emily brought up a glass of water I downed in seconds. And I gave them a puzzled look after I saw a lamp on my bed.

„Thank you Emily, and thank you Sam but I am sorry for waking you up this early and probably scaring you half to death.“

Emily laughed, „ It’s okay sweetie, plus you should have seen Sam, he thought someone got into your room and he planned on using our lamp as a weapon for the rescue. He just ripped it from the nightstand and ran like crazy almost crashing into a wall on his way here. Funniest thing I’ve ever seen him do.“

„Hey, not fair, I was sleeping. It’s a miracle I was able to grab anything at all considering I just woke up and you know I’m NOT a morning person. I guess the thought of my sister being murdered got me on my own TWO feet in mere seconds.“ He smiles with a glint in his eye.

„Hey, another thing we have in common! I am not a morning person either.“ I said with a wide grin which he returned and nodded while Emily was shaking her head trying to suppress a smile. But then, they both got serious and cast a worried look my way.

„Arya, what was the dream about? What scared you so much?“ he asked.

As I was explaining my dream to them, I saw they exchanged a few weird glances when I mentioned the big, dark silver furry creature, but when I mentioned the red eyes and a howl at the end Emily’s eyes were wide and Sam was practically shaking while gripping my sheets so tight I though he would rip them to shreds.

„Sounds scary, but like I said, it’s nothing but a dream. And I’d never let you walk around the forest alone like that anyways. I just got you and I’m not gonna let anything happen to you, remember? Big brother always comes to your rescue, at least it’s what google said. I’m going for a run, I’ll be back later. Do you need anything?“ he asked with tension in his voice.

„No, thanks. I have that interview at the Forks hospital, I should get ready, it would look bad if I was late. See you later I guess. And hey, Sam,“ i look at him with a soft smile, „you’re doing pretty well as a big brother so far.“

He left, Emily following close behind so I’d have some privacy to freshen up and get dressed.

After breakfast and a few encouraging words and instructions on how to get to the hospital from Emily I got in my car and blasted some music to ease my nerves. Although I’m more of a Fall Out Boy, Imagine Dragons, Linkin Park or Tame Impala kind of a girl, I truly enjoy all types of music.

Gotta have a song for every mood I’m in, so this time I started by blasting „Power“ by Kat Graham followed by Taylor Swift and Beyonce’s hits ending on a badass note with „Seven Nation Army“ by The White Stripes as I found parking on the lot in front of my future workplace.

Walking in I decided it would be easier to just head straight to the Information Center so I don’t spend time walking around looking for my mentor. I was painfully shy at times, so asking for info from a complete stranger was making me uneasy and shaky, but I had to do it, I couldn’t be late.

„Excuse me. I’m Darya Johnson and I am here for an interview for an opening in the trauma department. I was wondering if you could show me where to find my mentor. They didn’t really tell me his name so I’m kinda hoping you knew who it is.“

God, my voice was pitchy and annoying when  I was nervous.

The woman glanced at me, „wait just a moment“ and then she made a call, but I couldn’t really understand what she was talking.

„Your mentor will be right here in a few.“

„Thank you so much“ I politely, and a bit too enthusiastically responded.

And just as promised, a few minutes later someone cleared their voice behind me. I turned around at the sound, but was at a loss for words as my mouth fell open. The man standing before me was maybe only a few years older then me, he was young, a lot taller then me, he was blond, but not a regular blonde looking type, it was almost golden… and he was more handsome than any movie star I’d seen. He was very pale, though, and tired-looking, with circles under his eyes which was often a side effect of working as a doctor since you get minimum of sleep. His eyes were gentle and…golden? No wait….. yup golden. I’ve never seen this kind of a mutation before and it had me even more in awe. This man was like an embodiment of Apollo himself.

„Hello Darya, I’m doctor Carlisle Cullen, follow me please.“

Focus, damn it! Your mentor is so hot your brain is melting, so what?! You’re a professional, get over it! I never go for the obvious drop dead gorgeous guys anyways, not that I had a boyfriend to compare him to. Buried in my thoughts, trying to pull myself together I failed to notice he stopped walking and like a clutz that I am I ran right into a wall. No, scratch that, into Carlisle. How defined was this guy?! I mean seriously, give me a damn break!

„Sorry, I got a bit distracted.“ I mussed up an excuse while he just smiled like he knew just how mushed my brain was since the second I met him. Of course he knew, there’s no way he didn’t considering his looks.

„I said we’re right in front of my office, come in so we can start the interview which we both know is merely a formality. I just want to meet my resident.“

„Oh, you know I’m just going to be coming in few days a week? I’m going to be more like a little extra help if things get too hectic around here.“

He nods, but his soft smile never falters.

Entering his office I could tell he was an old fashioned guy since most doctors decorate and make their office look like a millionaire’s mansion. His office was simple with a big bookcase, a wooden table with neatly folded papers on the smooth surface, two chairs and a small couch in the corner of the room which was meant for naps during long nights.

He asked me a few questions about where I was born and about my achievements. We had mutual love for nature so he told me about a trip he took with his wife (bummer, of course he was already taken, he was out of my league anyways) and adoptive kids to Machu Pichu. I gushed to him about my trip to Hawaii (since it’s the only place I’ve ever traveled to with vacation in mind). After a while he told me I’d have my own pager in case of big traumas and showed me my schedule which showed I was working early shifts from 6 am to 2 pm, and told me I start next week.

With a smile I drove back to La Push, grabbed snacks and a few pizzas on my way back not knowing that when I get back I was in for a big surprise.

[takottais-oc-askblog]

Oc bullshittery pt.6

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Ashton: The devil whispered in my ear “your not strong enough to withstand the storm” I whispered back “you’re”

Flesh: [clapping] the inspiration is outstanding

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sibling relationships be like:

Flesh: can I use your charger?

Bei: I’d give you a kidney, but you aren’t borrowing my charger.

Chii: he’d give him a kidney, maybe not his, but a kidney

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Dax: at this point if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go.

Paston: [cocks gun] not in my mother fuckin’ lobby!

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Flesh: [watching their ex across the club]

Bei: [knocks back shot] what the hells’ up with you ??

Flesh: asshole who broke my heart at 12 o’clock...

Bei: [glances]

Bei: heeey listen and listen good [grabs flesh's face] thou shall not let low vibin’ sketchy ass energy penetrate thy aura!

Bei: [knocks back flesh’s untouched drink] now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a date with a certain asshole at 12 o’clock, [wobbles to flesh's ex] HEY WISEGUY, HEARD THAT YA HIT AND QUIT MY LITTLE BRO—

Flesh: oh god…

--------------------------------------------

Quinncie: [points a finger at everyone] Do you little punks wanna know why I’m so bad at parking ??! HUH ?! why I refuse to listen to your bullshit when I’m trying to focus !? well DO YA ?!! It’s because men are always constantly lying to me about what 8 fuckin inches is !

Rico: imma go out on a limb here and say that that wasn’t directed at me and somehow was a slap in Elliott’s face.

Peach: ouch.

Coccoh: well god damn!

Elliott: bAbE!?!

Paston: this is so going on my blog

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Bei: dream job; Karma Delivery Service.

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Coccoh: what’s the mead sis........ the wenches are squabbling .......

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Rico: Elliott, I cant believe I'm saying this. But we need you to do what you do best.

Elliott: What’s that?

Rico: Tear. Them. To. Shreds!

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Chii: Have you ever considered not being a dumb ass?

Dax: I’m morally, politically, and religiously opposed to any form of self criticism, so no.

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Elliott: I, for one, didn’t want to start my day with slaughter… which really goes to show how much I’ve grown.

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Dax: I promised Ashton we wouldn’t do anything illegal!

Paston: Why would you lie to your fiancee like that?!

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Coccoh: What are you doing?

Peak Lilly: It's called a hug!

Coccoh: Oh. I don't know if I like it. But continue.

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Peach: at this point I don’t even know if i’m breathing correctly..

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Dax: [drunk as fuck as a Christmas party trying to hit on Ashton]

Dax: yo who’s that shawty over there in the red button up?

Peach: that’s your fiance.

Dax: shiiiiit imma go hollar at him real quick!

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Camie brown: You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol and you treat an inside wound by drinking alcohol. It’s science!

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Bei: Of course, I name all my weapons.

Chii: Seriously? Isnt that kind of stupid?

Bei: I don’t think so. My Axe is named after the man who gave it to me, he left it to me so I can protect myself and his kids, and then he sacrificed himself to buy us escape time. I named my gun after the dead police officer I pulled it from. My dagger is named after the brave women who ended her own life so she wouldnt turn. Every weapon I have is named after someone that I failed to save, I name them to remind myself of the past, so that I can be better in the future. I failed to save them, but now they can help me save others.

--------------------------------------------

In bei's camp during the apocalypse:

Rico: So, whose the big leader around here?

Eva: [points at Bei] That one, right there.

Quinncie: Them? The person sitting in the grass over there making daisy-chain crowns for the little kids?

Peach: Yupp, that’s them.

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Quinncie: I like your coat.

Eva: Thank you, I got it 50% off.

Quinncie: I'd like it 100% off.

Eva: The store can't just give out free stuff.

Quinncie: That's not what I-

Eva: That's a terrible way to run a business, quinn.

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Dax: [sits next to bei]

Bei: you smell like drama and a headache please get away from me.

Dax: …

Dax: [pulls bei into his lap]

Bei: [flailing]

Dax: [kissing their face]

Bei: PLEASEnOOooOOoOOI’VEBEENINFECTED—!

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Rico: [standing there with coffee]

Quinncie:

Rico: 

Rico: look do you want your iced coffee or are you still being a bitch?

Elliott: and who says romance is dead?

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Dax: i’m breaking up with you

Paston: 260 million dogs in the world and you think I need you. Ha think again foolish fool~!

Dax: ....?

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Chii: [feeling down]

Bei: suck it up

Chii: and what if I broke your legs and told you to walk it off?

Bei: .....

Bei: then i would question your slightly swaying morals.

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Peach: what doesn’t kill us makes us drink stronger–

Diel: [cuts peach off]

Peach: bItCh i will FITE—

Diel: …

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Chii's first time eating human food:

Peak Lilly: Are you okay?

Chii, tangled in spaghetti: help me..

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Peach: Doesn’t look safe for a mortal.

Chii: if you sit there you belong to the fae.

Quinncie: That’s the fae’s problem.

Paston: That is such a strong, bold, confident statement and I respect you for it.

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[when Bei gets mad at Diel and says ‘Go have fun with that other guy’ like it’s a threat]

Diel: first of all ima have a blast!

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Cake: You call it death I call it shedding your meatsuit!

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Poppet: Keep a memory of me,

not as a queen,

nor a hero but as a woman.

Fallible and flawed.

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Quinncie trying to explain to his therapist the way his death should be executed, like it makes total sense:

Quinncie: -and then the police pull my lifeless body from a lake, but I’m wearing the funniest hat they’ve ever seen, and they can’t stop laughing and keep dropping me back into the water.

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Rico: Hey Bei, do you think flesh thinks in Spanish or in English?

Bei: Bold of you to assume his dumbass thinks in general.

--------------------------------------------

Rico: [wearing something nice for their date] do you like it?

Quinncie: [starts crying]

Rico: quinn stop crying you’ll ruin your makeup–

Quinncie: LET ME! YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL!

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Charlie: Pin...

Pin, in tears: That’s what chii used to call me...

Charlie: That’s because it’s your fucking name, numb-nuts!

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Camie brown: G, look! it’s the good kush!

Peak Lilly: This is the dollar store how good could it possibly be?

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Eva, about Rico's boss: He probably owes you money, huh? i'll ask him!

Rico: he's dead. he can't talk..

Eva: whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much. it just so happens that your boss here is only MOSTLY dead. there’s a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. mostly dead is slightly alive. with all dead, well, with all dead there’s usually only one thing you can do!

Rico: what's that?

Eva: go through his clothes and look for loose change.

--------------------------------------------

Pin: Speaking of folks I can do without, poppet is back.

Cake: That explains why blood was pouring from all my faucets this morning.

--------------------------------------------

Quinncie: What can I say? I'm charming and irresponsible

Paston: Uhh...Don't you mean Irresistible?

Quinncie: Nope.

--------------------------------------------

Elliott: It's odd how a woman's purse looks good on me, a man.

Peach: Exactly! Unisex!

Elliott: Maybe you need sex. I had sex a couple days ago.

Peach: No...no... Elliott. U-N-I-sex.

Elliott: well I ain't going to say no to that.

--------------------------------------------

Ashton: What are your answers for this problem?

Paston: I got 25!

Rico: I got 67.

Dax: I got George Washington… for some reason??

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Peach, to Peak Lilly: Hey, so G, I'm lesbian.

Peak Lilly, half asleep: I thought you were American.

--------------------------------------------

Flesh: I would do a lot more things if I didn't have to stand up to do said things.

--------------------------------------------

Pin: It's not "bacon", it's a pig.

Pin: It's not "veal", it's a calf.

Pin: It's not "steak", it's a cow.

Pin: It's not "meat", it's an animal.

Ashton: It's not "fruit", it's dividing cells that accumulate fructose.

Dax: It's not delivery, it's DiGiorno.

Paston: Maybe it's Maybelline.

Camie brown: THIS IS SPARTA!

--------------------------------------------

Chii: Bold words for a high school reject.

Flesh: Hey, high school DROPOUT, actually. They let me in, I let myself out.

--------------------------------------------

Chii: It’s very important that i’m both gay and powerful.

--------------------------------------------

Paston: IDK is the most mysterious acronym.

Ashton: Literally everyone knows what it means?

Paston: Then what does it mean?

Ashton: I don't know.

Paston: See? No one does!

--------------------------------------------

How Peach and Charlie fell in love:

Peach: [idly singing 'Her Sweet Kiss']

Charlie: Wait

Charlie: ...

Charlie: Wait are you in love with me?

Peach: have been for the last two decades but thanks for noticing.

--------------------------------------------

(this one also got hella long, but thank you all for patiently waiting for this one to get finished!

Tag list: @nansblockit @ask-the-amazing-greenland @slasher-beware @ticket-to-ride13 @illwaitinthisplace

If you want to be tagged just comment on this post or shoot me an ask/message, have a wonderful day!\(•↓•)/♡)

[imreszekeres]

for the anon that wanted all 100

1. Name- Ash! 2. Age- 18 3. City that you live in- fear, usually 4. What do most people not know about you?- nothing really, i compulsively release useless information about myself 5. What do most people know you for?- being fat and annoying 6. Hobbies- makeup, youtubers, sleeping, writing, drawing 7. What are your passions?- writing 8. What do you search for in a significant other?- i really Really need to be understood, and someone who is patient is nice too 7. What are you most proud of?- I hav gone to State and gotten within the top 10% in my Journalism competitions, which puts me in the top .08% of all high school students in my state. :-) im good for some things 8. When was the last time you had a significant conversation with someone you love?- every day when I talk to @pizzasteveofficial <3 all our conversations are significant 2 me 9. Have you ever collected anything? What was it?- I collect my tears in a jar and store them, then shower in them every night 10. List 10 things off of your bucket list.- I want to get married in the snow, have a daughter, get a Heartagram tattoo (at least one lol), write a successful book, and.. idk what else :0 11. What was the last thing you learned?- jesus I dont know, you learn sth new every day! hard to remember 12. How many relationships have you been in?- um.. 7 I think i feel like im forgetting one tho. I wont name them obvi but i think im forgetting one? i feel like ive been in 8 oh well 13. Turn ons- validation 14. Turn offs- being alive 15. Favorite food- frozen yogurt! I like the vanilla or white chocolate flavor with looots of toppings 16. Favorite drink- Coke 17. What is the best birthday gift you have ever received?- i dont really know! I dont remember a lot of my birthdays for trauma reasons so  18. Are you optimistic or pessimistic?- pessimistic by far lol 19. Do you sleep during class?- its happened a handful of times, I try not to bc I HATE missing work its annoying 20. What is the most expensive thing you own?- myself?? jk its my laptop 21. What is the cheapest yet most useful thing you own?- a 1 dollar ELF blending brush. yall those things are bomb please go buy some! 22. How many times a day on average do you check your phone?- that number does not exist holy shit  23. Text or call?- TEXT BLEASE I HAVE SUCH BAD HEARING 24. Opinion on long distance?- it can work! ive done it a lot of times. distance has never been whats broken a relationship for me, not directly anyway 25. What is your definition of success?- success is when you’re happy. you do not have many worries, not the kind that keep you awake at night or make your tummy sick anyway. You have people that love you and, if you died, you’d be remembered as a good bean 26. Favorite song?- right now im really diggin “Hate (I Really Dont Like You)” by the plain white Ts 27. Favorite artist?- HIM!!!!!!!!!!!! <3 28. Celebrity crush/crushes?- Ville Valo ALWAYS lmao hes my god 29. When was the last time you read for fun?- like last month 30. Favorite flower?- roses 31. What is the best gift you could receive right now?- a plane ticket to Connecticut and like 1000 dollars 32. Any guilty pleasures?- pop... music... BUT LIKE THE GOOD KIND U FEEL? I DONT LIKE STUFF FROM THE LAST 2 OR 3 YEARs...  33. What is one thing you would like to change about yourself?- my weight, and that sounds so shallow but it. is taking a toll on me. 34. What do you search for in a friend?- someone who is like me! 35. How many times have you said "I love you" in the past month?- not enough 36. Where did you last go other than your room/home?- school.. 37. Why do bad things happen to good people?- because life isnt fair 38. In your opinion, what hurts more? Being left out or being stabbed in the eye?- what the fuck being stabbed in the eye have you ever been stabbed in the fucking eye? because i havent and i can already tell you that if my friends were talking without me and then someone stabbed me in the fuCKING EYE I WOULD BE JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE PREOCCUPIED WITH BEING STABBED IN THE E Y E  39. How many green shirts do you own?- none lol 40. Do you like anime?- sure! I dont watch it rn but i dont watch anything rn, haha 41. What do you invest the most time in?- sleeping,, 42. What was the name of the last book you read?- Rebecca :3 very gud book 43. What's the difference between loving and liking someone?- when ur main squeeze gets a hair cut and u still wanna suck their dingus u love em, thats it sorry i dont make the rules 44. Where are you most productive?- i dont.. know what this is asking lol I’m most protective over my romantic partners. As much as I’d love to say im most protective over Sarah, nothing compares to how “troll guarding his treasure” i am w/my loves.......... *eyes @my crush* 45. List 3 things you enjoy doing with friends.- talking shit abt rude ppl, playing vidya gaem, and talking abt life 46. List 3 things you enjoy doing alone.- watching makeup tutorials, watching lets plays, and thinking about everything and anything 47. Do you believe world peace will ever exist?- absolutely not. theres too many people on the earth to achieve that 48. Do you have any allergies?- Not to anything specific but i get them really often seasonally. i get them pretty much every time the weather changes :( 49. When was the last time you cussed at someone?- i mean.. every day of my life so like 50. What was the last promise you made?- idek dude 51. What was your last dream about?- IT WAS SO WEIRD IT WAS ABOUT MY CRUSH’S MOM? I DREAMT THAT SHE WAS A DEMON WHO STORED HER EGGS IN LITTLE PORCELAIN JARS AND THAT MY CRUSH HAD AN EAR INFECTION AND WE WERE IN A SNOWY VILLAGE IDK DONT ASK ME its weird bc my crushs mom is so sweet... 52. If you won a trip to Hawaii and you could take 5 people with you, who would those 5 people be?- i would literally only take Sarah bc i hate everyone 53. How many countries have you visited?- ive never been outside the US 54. What is your favorite medium of art? (Music, dance, painting, etc.)- writing :-) 56. When was the last time somebody complimented you?- those nice anons i got yesterday/the other day! 56. If you switched bodies with someone, how would you recognize yourself?- what do u even mean? youd know bc youd be like THIS ISNT MY BODY 57. Do you consider yourself mature?- kind of, yes 58. How many days in your life do you think you have wasted on tumblr?- too fuckin many 59. What is your favorite quote?- “Worship Satan!” -Ville Valo (no but rly any HIM lyric is my favorite quote, theyre so beautiful,,,) 60. If you started a new religion and you had to create 3 rules or commandments for your new followers to live by, what would those 3 rules be?- dont hurt ppl unless they hurt u, dont touch ppl unless they want u to, and respect gender/sexuality 61. What is your greatest accomplishment?- going 2 state! 62. Do you believe in the death penalty?- yeah i actually think it should b used more lol, kill all rapists and p*dophiles :-) 63. What are your goals for life?- i just wanna b happy, man 64. What do you think your soulmate is doing right now?- being a fucking idiot, probably 65. If you could live anywhere, where would you live? The place can be in an imaginary, fantasy, or the real world.- CALIFORNIA LMAO IM SUCH A SUCKER FOR CALIFORNIA AND I NEVER EVEN BEEN THERE 66. What were you like in 2013?- awful but also really sweet... then again i wasnt TECHNICALLY the host so lol  67. Do you have a job?- no :( i cant drive 68. Tell us a story about your childhood best friend.- she was an abusive bitch who took out her parents hating her on me the end 69. If you could change one thing about society, what would it be?- i would make discrimination a way more serious crime than it is taken for rn. ppl who discriminate should b put in jail 70. How many all-nighters have you pulled before?- just one when i had to install the sims and it took 6 years 71. Is tumblr your favorite website? If not, then what is your favorite website?- my fave website is youtube 72. What is the craziest thing you would do for a million dollars?- suck a dick, i guess 73. Does money equal happiness?- not all the time but it sure can 74. How many times have you experienced true happiness in your lifetime?- never, i dont think 75. How many times have you experienced true sadness in your lifetime?- too many times 76. What is the funniest joke you have ever been told?- you know that joke abt the blind man at the beginning of Crazy Rap? yeah thats fucking HILARIOUS  77. When was the last time you looked at the news?- this morn :0 78. If you could say one thing to the world, what would you say?- im gay 79. What is your favorite animal?- RACCOONS!!!!!!!!!!!! 80. If you could earn a million dollars by pretending to be dead for 3 years, would you do it?- i mean sure lmao nobody would b upset about it so 81. What is one thing that everyone is bad at?- being a human. 82. What time do you normally sleep? How many hours of sleep do you usually get?- i usually go to bed at 10 and get like 6 or 7 hours 83. Does age necessarily equal maturity?- not at all! 84. What is your favorite clothing store?- hot topic lol 85. In the winter- beanies or gloves?- gloves b 86. Would you rather have wings or a fish tail?- wings?? why would i want a fish tail 87. If you had the power to erase one person from the world so that nobody remembered him or her except you, would you do it?- absofuckinglutely.  88. What do you fear the most?- being like my rapist. thats a little too deep than i like to go but im being honest, thats literally my biggest fear Ever 89. How many digits of pi can you recite?- 3.14 lmfao i hate math 90. If you could travel back to one year and relive it again, which year would it be?- 2004. I would stop it before it happened. :-( 91. Describe yourself in one word.- stupid 92. Describe your last victory.- i woke up today w/o killin meself 93. What is the weirdest thing you have ever seen?- bendytoots cucumberpitch’s face 94. What is something you will never forget?- prom.. something rly nice happened 95. Would you rather forget all of the past or remember everything in vivid detail?- forget everything. please 96. Have you ever broken a bone before?- nope! 97. Is it harder to love or to hate somebody?- probably harder to love them lol 98. Coffee or tea?- coffer 99. What are some little things that you do that have changed your life in a positive way?- I dont overdose on a constant basis in a BPD-fueled rage any more so thats good 100. How many hours have you spend on tumblr today?- probably 1 or 2?

[dustsparrow]

Oh! Your blog is alive! Welcome back! Answer all the odd number questions?

Well hey! I didn’t realize how long it had been since I posted here haha. I’m alive and doing well. Most of my energy toward this site goes to reblogging stuff to my side blog @stufftoshowcrow (I guess this is sort of a plug but by no means do you all have to check it out)

And I’ll get to the questions later today! I’m out with a friend for the day but I didn’t wanna leave you hanging. Thanks for asking!

Time for those answers! (under the read more)

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most? Dancing’s Not a Crime by Panic! at the Disco, Irony of Dying on Your Birthday by Senses Fail, Instant Crush by Daft Punk, Somewhere in the Between by Streetlight Manifesto, Your Love by The Outfield, and Shut Up and Dance by WALK THE MOON (these are just recent ones on my mind)

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. The closest book was my sketchbook and it’s got a drawing of Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles on it that I think I referenced from somewhere. I may post a picture later if there’s any interest.

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say? “Ok I should be home in about an hour” from my dad

7: What’s your strangest talent? I’m pretty good at chugging alcohol but stuff like hard sodas or rum and coke. And that usually only happens when I’m already a little drunk and want to maintain it.

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you? Technically (said by my bf). He said it was never finished so I never heard it

11: Do you have any strange phobias? I’m slightly afraid of escalators and elevators. Elevators is because I hate when they rock and I’m afraid they’ll fall and escalators is because when I was a kid, there was an escalator at the local book store that seemed pretty steep and I felt like I’d fall off when I was young and it sort of continued on into adulthood. It’s not as bad now but it’ll pop up sometimes.

13: What’s your religion? I was raised Catholic, went to a Methodist church from middle school to high school, and now I’d consider myself Agnostic. I was never officially Methodist so yeah, I’m not really religious.

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? It’s a bit of both. Being an artist, I like to dabble in a lot of different art forms and one of those being photography. I love photography and I’ve even gotten into making my own videos. So I know my way around a camera and I’m used to being behind the camera but I like when I get the chance to be in front of the camera. It may be a little vain but I really like photos of myself and seeing myself at different angles.

17: What was the last lie you told? Oh shit, I can’t really remember. I know the funniest lie I’ve told recently is I convinced a coworker of mine that one of our other coworkers is my brother because we look sort of alike.

19: What does your URL mean? I went with Novakid-Outlaw because I really enjoy the game Starbound and the Novakids are my favorite race. They’re sort of like cowboys so that’s where the outlaw part is from. It used to be “Novakid-Bandit” but I figured Outlaw sounded better.

21: Who is your celebrity crush? Brendon Urie

23: How do you vent your anger? A lot of it is spent yelling at terrible drivers in my car. Some of it is directed at my coworkers who don’t do their job and I’m already done with the day. I try to use some of it on artwork, I know one time I smashed a TV for a friend doing a photography project. That was a lot of fun.

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Video chat because I like seeing the other person’s face. But talking on the phone is also nice if I want to talk to that person (so like talking to my BF verses my dad. My dad is weird to talk to sometimes).

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love? I hate the sound of nails scratching one of those holographic cards that has that terrible texture. I love the sounds of cats purring (and my boyfriend’s voice).

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Ghosts are iffy but for sure Aliens. Space is too big for us to be the only living organisms.

31: Smell the air. What do you smell? I’m in my room so nothing. I’m too used to the smell.

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast? East Coast since I live nearby and the most I’ve done on the West Coast was go to Vegas and it was stupid hot.

35: To you, what is the meaning of life? Doing what I love with the ones I love.

37: Do you believe in luck? I guess because I’m the luckiest girl to be dating the best guy in my life. He’d disagree but I do love him a whole lot and he’s made my life a lot better.

39: What time is it? I got this ask around noon and I’m getting around to answering it at 11:12 PM (as I’m typing this answer)

41: What was the last book you read? I guess Scott Pilgrim. I haven’t read a book in a while. It’s sorta sad

43: Do you have any nicknames? Many

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? In recent years, I burned my arm at work and it hurt like a bitch. I still have a scar. In middle school, I broke both of my wrists (not at the same time but only a month had passed when my first wrist healed and I broke the other).

47: Do you have any obsessions right now? Okami

49: Ever had a rumor spread about you? Not really cause I’m not that interesting that people talk about me.

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? If it’s a big enough wrong. I’m still upset at my ex but that’s justified.

53: Do you save money or spend it? I spend it. I need to work on saving money.

55: Love or lust? Love

57: How many relationships have you had? 3

59: Where were you yesterday? Work and home

61: Are you wearing socks right now? Nope

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? Jokes and slight teasing

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr. Aight, that’s too much work, nope

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM? Playing Okami

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off? Yes

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? Save the dog. I can find another job. I’d feel terrible leaving the dog behind.

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love. (I have both but) Love

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? 7815

77: How can I win your heart? No chance because someone already has my heart

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? Giving my current boyfriend a third date those 2 years ago.

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone? She died doing what she loved most. (*boyfriend’s/husband’s name here*)

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. Love. How cliche

85: What’s the last song you listened to? Your Love by The Outfield

87: What is your current desktop picture? Bulbasaurs

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on? If my mom ever asked if I’ve lied to her recently because she made me promise her once that I’d never lie to her again.

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? Shape-shifting

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? My first instinct is to say my last relationship but I know it sort of helped to shape me. So I guess I would say I’d avoid dating the last guy but I wouldn’t avoid him entirely.

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? Germany

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car? Yes. When I was a kid, my mom took me to pick up my brother and his friend and she brought mini cupcakes along. I ate a bunch of the chocolate ones and I threw up on my brother’s friend when they got in the car.

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say? Let’s be real, I have no clue.

Finishing this up at 11:39 PM and I’m super grateful to anyone who’s read all of these! I hope these are entertaining to read and I hope everyone has a wonderful day/night!

[feedthefirewithin]

Diary

I'm going to start using this blog as a diary for awhile. I need to keep practicing on my typing and, theres no where else to type it. I love being a parent, a mommy. of course there are always hardships raising a child. well, I think the only one ive had so far with my child is trying to get the poor thing to let her poop out. Shes so afraid to poop bc she thinks it will hurt, but of course holding it only makes it worse, shes so young and doesn't understand, I mean we’ve tried everything we can. Her diet is super strict just so we can keep it soft, even if some has to sit in her poor little body. It will almost be a year in a month or so since shes starting holding it. Her first blow out left her a scar, so I know it was pretty bad, I will never forget that day. She was literally rolling on the floor just crying in pain, we filled a bulb of water and flushed her out. Even an actual suppository to make it extra soft but none of that made it soft, just came out in a huge ball. My mother had to put her knees to her chest just to push it out. I cried of course, my daughter was in so much pain. I myself deal with issues like that sometimes so I know how it feels. Apparently when I was my daughters age I used to do the same thing, really sucks I probably gave it to her but I do know a lot of toddlers go through poop withholding. I just wish she wasn't one of them. No mother wants their baby in pain. I continue to do the best I can for my child. she is the most important part of my being I cant imagine not having her. I recently bought her some “poop books” I read them to her on the potty, we just spent a whole hour on there reading, she peed for the first time on the toilet that way pretty exciting! I was trying to make her really excited about that but I knew she was extremely uncomfortable. she was holding her poop the whole time she sat there and her tummy is so full and hard from all the poop and all the food from dinner. I know one night isn't gonna change it but maybe doing every single night will make serious progress. god I really hope so. I don't want her to be so scared, I need her to like using it and becoming potty trained. that's only one part of my day that is, work was so long and so irritating today. My shifts are 9 hours long each and I stand on my feet, I don't take breaks so I can get every minute of my money and considering my position I don't have to take one. I'm a food preparer for Panera Bread. My General Manager Julie would not stop asking me to do things, and these things weren't even my job, I wasn't able to start my work until three hours into my shift. which is 5am to 2 pm. got there at 440 this morning and just couldn't believe how much time went by and how far she had me behind. it was reDICKulous. I love my job. I love being in the back and I love my coworkers but she wasn't always my GM. I had a GM named Stefon he was cool as fuck. A tight ass like her but shes 50 times worse I swear. I mean, shes just a straight bible thumping bitch. I understand company reasons but she likes to change things all bc its “her store” and it just picks at her when she sees it. the funniest part is here plans always fall through they just fail so hard, a few months ago we started doing PM preppers and of course I took some of those shift, I mean hey getting more sleep is always awesome. but 4 till close was a drag, id finish my work in 3 hours and either fuck around or have to help with a million different jobs. good thing was is Julie never really closed so I didn't have to see her. Now I open my four days in a row. Ugh. its cool though, I like my mornings. I miss my babies at home though. my daughter and my Babe.

ah, Babe. he is a wonderful man. Growing up into a young woman you think you know what a real man is and take so much shit from a guy all bc you think that's normal and okay, but my Babe? he is the kindest and most respectful man I have ever been with. After one year of being with him I am still as happy as the day I fell in love with him and I really hope that continues. I remember that day so clearly, it was our first date. it was a very sudden one, I had just gotten off of work and he asked me if I wanted to go to a museum and I'm like “hell yea ive never been to one”, right? lmao ive never gone to one sadly but anyways, well on the car ride there he puts on this band ive never heard and the music was just so perfect for the mood. Honestly for a black guy hes very very different from any I ever grew up around and became friends with, he was so white lol. like you know how white people cant dance and whatever, like that. but yeah he so goofy and I'm so goofy and in that moment I'm just staring at him feel the warmest feeling in my chest, my eyes got warm with it. I felt so happy and alive, I couldn't understand what I was feeling but I didn't care, it was fucking amazing. when he finally looked at me I gave him such a sincere smile, and he gave me one back, I knew he knew I was feeling him. Funny thing is, is that.. only reason we started in the first place was bc he was looking for some goods and I had that info, and well he came over and I helped and the night her left I texted him and just started holding a conversation, of course he found it weird af my little white ass, but he went with it, I threw him a dirty text and he responded, sent some pics and he says “girl I don't want that, ill just come get it” lmao like WHAAAAAAT, I have never had no one say that to me lol. it was shocking and surprising but exciting lol, well that night we ended up doing stuff and whoa is he hung, I just remember seeing it in the backlight from the tv and I'm like omg, breathe kasey, you bout to take the biggest dick of your life lmao. and holy damn did I, my poor little kitty. she okay though, she got used to it. But yeah, now we’re here, planning our life and about to conceive our first child together this year. I'm super excited, lol. I love babies so much, I have constant baby fever. but I'm a good mommy so, it doesn't matter. I thin this Is enough typing for tonight.