#i literally made small talk with the uber eats guy because i just felt so starved of even the most minuit form of human connection

[sobbing-space-trash]

Maybe if I sob for a little bit I'll be okay????

[heartmix]

Sickness - Mat Barzal

Pairing: Mathew Barzal x gn!reader

Word Count: 1k+

A/N: I am still in mourning over the haircut, but at the same time it is so funny. Also not really proofread

*Christmas Prompt - Sick*

Masterlist / Hockey Masterlist

This was not how you planned your December going. December was supposed to be filled with Christmas activities and playing in the snow. Your body however had different plans for you. That involved you stuck to your bed all day, maybe a week. The only upside was that you could watch as many Christmas movies as you wanted, it's not like you had a choice anyways.

Being sick was miserable. The runny nose, itchy throat that you had to cough every second to feel some sort of relief, the headaches being unbearable. Your current best friends were a bottle of Advil and Vicks. It got to a point where you had to wear a mask to sleep because the cold air was bothering your nose.

When Matt noticed you haven't texted him in a few days or even gone to a game during the week he knew something was up. You would text him constantly and he should have noticed on the second day when you didn't text back, but he was so wrapped up with the games he didn't bother to check.

So when he saw the Uber eats notification on his phone, from sharing accounts, of course, he knew right away you weren't feeling the best. You would never order medicine online and you'd never buy soup, your mother had a fantastic soup recipe that you perfected.

He was determined to make you feel better. He felt guilty for not noticing something sooner. He rushed out of practice faster than normal just so he can meet the Uber eats guy before he could reach your front door. His teammates gave him all weird looks, but they let it go knowing they can get something out of Anthony in a few hours.

While Matt was rushing hoping time will go slower so he can surprise you, you sat in bed hoping time would speed. You would like your medicine and soup asap to hopefully make you less miserable. After thinking it would never come you heard a knock at your door. You groaned at the thought of getting out of bed, but moaned at the thought of the best soup and medicine money could buy. Opening the door you did not expect a 6-foot hockey player to be delivering your order.

"Mat..." you gave a small smile followed by a coughing fit. You quickly shut the door to avoid coughing on him.

"It's a bit rude to shut the door on the person who has your soup." He said through the door with a playful tone making you chuckle.

"It would be rude to cough on the hockey player who is currently in season." You defended opening back up the door to a goofy smile on Mat's face.

"How kind of you. Too bad you can't get rid of me that easily." He said pushing through you to get inside your apartment.

"Mat leave. I'm sick and I will literally kill myself if you get sick and miss a game." You groaned taking a step back each time he tried to take on to you.

"You're so dramatic. You should have called me earlier. I would have brought you whatever you needed." He grumbled.

"I will lock myself in my bedroom if you don't leave." You threatened with your voice cracking. This conversation was the most you spoke all week.

"No, you won't. I got your medicine and soup." He said holding up the bag filled with your saving graces.

He was just as stubborn as you and you knew that he wouldn't leave on his own. You slowly grabbed the bag from his hands with a reassuring smile. Before he could make any move toward you, you made a beeline for your bedroom door and locked it as fast as you can.

"You're being childish!" He yelled from the door although he didn't need to. You could hear him just fine.

"You're being stupid Barzy! You have a game tomorrow. You can't afford to get sick." You tried to yell as loud as you can, which sounded like your normal talking voice.

"Two can play that game. I'm gonna sit outside your door till you open up." He said and you heard him sink down to the floor. 

He somehow became more stubborn and stupid. You thought he would up and leave in half an hour tops, but you were so wrong. It's been almost two hours and he was still here. He's been here so long that you've gotten texts from mostly everyone from the islander's locker room. Anthony probably opened his big mouth. Your soup was long gone and your medicine was working, you could barely keep your eyes open. The only thing stopping you was his voice talking about yesterday's win over the Blackhawks.

"Barzy." Your voice was soft and hoarse but he could still hear it clear as day.

"What's the matter?" His voice matches your soft tone compared to the normal voice he was just using a minute ago.

"I need water."

"Well, you need to open the door for that." He pointed out making me groan.

"If I give you a hug can you get me water and leave." You asked hopefully the offer would work.

"That's a hard bargain." He sounded like he was really contemplating the offer.

"I'm going to fall asleep on you. I'll watch your game tomorrow and even change into your jersey even though my shirt is more comfortable. Please." You begged. He could tell you were tired and was surprised you were still awake after taking your medicine.

"Okay. I got you water already. Open up."

Opening up the door he was met with your tired body and also you in a sweater and mask. It was a sight to see and he couldn't help but chuckle. He handed you the water which you threw on your bed. You turned back to him to see he had his arms open waiting for you. A promise is a promise. As much as you didn't want to embrace him, this is the best you'd felt in days.

"I'll come over after tomorrow's game. We have the next day off. You'll let me stay right." He asked which you nodded at.

"You're sleeping on the couch." You mumbled into his chest making him chuckle.

[soyouthinkucanwrite]

The money thing (part 1/2) - Daniel Ricciardo

It's always the little things, isn't it? The smallest stupidest things make almost no difference and then make all the difference in the world. They make everything special, but they also have the power to tear everything appart.

You and Daniel fight about money for the thousand time and he's had enough of it.

Warnings: super angst, but with a happy ending :)

Guys, this turned out WAY BIGGER than I expected, so I'm just gonna do a part 2, okay? Okay, thanks for understanding!

Song that inspired me: A list by HVOB

You and Daniel had been dating for a couple months now, having met through a common friend and hitting off almost instantly. You lived in Amsterdam and he, well he lived all over the world really, but his "time off" (meaning not racing) was spent between Monaco and London (for work), and Amsterdam now too, of course.

The changes were small and subtle at the beginning, like your weekends being spent traveling to meet him wherever in the world he was and consequently spending almost all your savings on plane tickets. You never complained to him (you planned on spending the money traveling anyway, so you didn't see the point), but didn't accept when he offered to buy your tickets, either. There's been some awkwardness around the subject but it usually died on its own.

*beginning of flashback*

"You’d have gotten here in time if you'd gotten the early flight like I told you" you remembered him saying that time you got in the paddock after the qualifying session had begun and couldn’t kiss him good luck.

"Baby, I told you. It was crazy expensive! Absurd even!"

"(y/n) for god's sake! What are we saving money for? I told you, you have my credit card number, I've offered to get you one, this is ridiculous, I can't believe I literally earn millions and my girlfriend wasn't there with me because the ticket was too expensive! I'll fucking fly you private if I have to!" he was almost yelling in his driver's room. You could only stare from the corner.

He took a deep breath running his hands through his hair. "Sorry. It's just... it was crap out there. I needed you" you grimaced at his words.

"Sorry. I really am..." you tried to approach him. "I'm here now?" you touched his arm. "It can't have been that bad, you're still on the top 10 and we both know what you can do from the 8th car..." you smiled at him.

*end of flashback*

He started to spend much more of his time off with you at your place, so you decided to get a place by yourself (having a roommate was great for company and splitting the rent, but having a roommate there while you guys just wanted some much-needed privacy was not working). Then there were more traveling to meet him, furniture for the new place, clothing for all the events (GPs or not), uber rides here and there... all of that without mentioning that you weren't being able to get the freelance jobs you used to get to make some extra money, so yeah, to say things were tight was an understatement. You tried to do all your shopping alone, so he wouldn't offer and you wouldn't refuse or be awkward about it, but Daniel seem to be glued to you whenever you were in the same city (not that you’re complaining).

He started to spend much more of his time off with you at your place, so you decided to get a place by yourself (having a roommate was great for company and splitting the rent, but having a roommate there while you guys just wanted some much-needed privacy was not working). Then there were more traveling to meet him, furniture for the new place, clothing for all the events (GPs or not), uber rides here and there... all of that without mentioning that you weren't being able to get the freelance jobs you used to get to make some extra money, so yeah, to say things were tight was an understatement. You tried to do all your shopping alone, so he wouldn't offer and you wouldn't refuse or be awkward about it, but Daniel seem to be glued to you whenever you were in the same city (not that you’re complaining).

The thing is, you always had trouble dealing with money. Sure, you liked to pay for your own stuff so as to not owe anything to anyone (especially boys), but it was so much deeper than that. Ever since a kid, you hated asking for money from your parents, and sometimes even the thought of buying stuff that was a bit more expensive made you sick. You couldn't explain why, you just felt guilty having so much and knowing that most people have never even seen that amount. It's not that you didn't want to spend it and save for the sake of it, you just didn't handle the idea of money very well. Needless to say, dating a millionnaire was bound to cause trouble in the relationship for you.

You were currently at his place in Monaco. It was the summer break and you had decided to spend some days just chilling at home, just the two of you - which you were glad since going out means hair, makeup, clothes, accessories, shoes... and, let's be honest, the kind of places he usually took you is not the kind of places you just throw something together last minute (the Instagram models and other driver's girlfriends looking you up and down were enough to make you think about spending money you did not have to hire a stylist or something like that). The whole situation was really stressing you out and you knew you would have to be honest with him eventually, instead of only dodging the subject and refusing most of his offers to pay. You tried to. You kind of tried. You suggested staying at home, in bed, most of the time, and he gladly agreed, but that strategy wasn't gonna work forever. You had to be honest with him. But at the same time, you knew what he was going to say and do, and the thought of him spending money on you, even if just by handling the restaurant bill, wasn't something you were much more comfortable with. Besides, it was only a matter of time before the "gold-digger" term starts to fly around in the small world that was the F1's.

You were laying on his couch, the Olympics playing on the TV but you were too busy overthinking the money thing to pay attention. Daniel was laying with his head on your lap, absently caressing your thigh and watching the TV. His phone went off and he moved to pick it up.

"Hello?" you watched as he answered the phone. "Hey mate, how's it going? Uh nothing, we're just chilling at home. Getting some rest... Yeah, I'm getting rested, you dirty-minded son of a bitch" you rolled your eyes while he laughed out loud on the line with someone. "Yeah, I know... the 19th is it? No, it's fine. Yeah, yeah. I'll be there. Alright, mate. Thanks for calling. Have a good one! Bye!" he hanged up and leaned in to peck you on the lips.

"Good news?" you asked him.

"Not really. Just wanted to kiss you" he shrugged, smiling. You smiled back and hugged him, pulling him in for another kiss. He was always so caring with you, always finding an excuse to kiss or touch you. You knew some people didn't like it, but you loved it. Physical touch was definitely one of your love languages.

"What's happening on the 19th then?" you asked him once you guys set apart from the kiss.

"Gotta be in London. Gonna run some testings and other boring race stuff..."

"Hum..." you hummed in understanding.

"You know what would make it less boring though?" he asked and you just looked at him, you already knew what he was going to ask you and it wasn't that you didn't want to spend every minute of the day with him, but you simply couldn't afford any more traveling, especially not in such short notice. "If you came with me. Huh? What do you say? A week in the Queen's land? Then we can fly together to Spa and after the race, I can go with you to Amsterdam. The next one it's the Dutch GP anyway, I'll just get there sooner" he laughed. It was crushing you, the man of your dreams was literally beaming at making plans with you, talking about spending the next few weeks glued together and you couldn't say yes.

"Dan, I have to work" you smiled sadly.

"Can't you work from distance? Or, I don't know, I mean... I know it's tiring, but you could come to London and fly home a bit early, then just meet me in Belgium?" great, his solution includes even more flying. And the thing is, you really didn't mind the flying. You always slept during the whole thing anyway, so you never got tired and the jetlag was minimal. You could work from distance, sure. Your boss wouldn't mind, as long as you got there eventually to check in on everything. But the whole logistics were just too expensive. There was no way you could afford it.

"I... sorry, I don't think I can" you said sadly and watched as his face dropped.

"That's fine, baby. I get it. I'm asking too much, all this traveling... don't worry about it" he tried to mask his emotions but you knew better. He knew you could in fact work from distance, so he was probably thinking the reason you couldn't do it was because you didn't want to.

He got up from the couch and walked into the kitchen. Meanwhile, you couldn't help but bury your face in your palms. This was so frustrating!

"You wanna go for a run or something? Maybe get something to eat?" he called from the kitchen, already moving on from the subject. You knew this whole thing was only gonna keep build up till he got tired of your excuses or you blowing up, probably the former, but you just keep going.

"Yeah, sure" you answered, getting up from the couch.

You and Daniel were both very active so going for a run, hiking, riding bikes, or whatever in the middle of the day was really routine for you. The Monaco summer weather was as beautiful as always and the sun was shining bright. You enjoyed the rest of your afternoon racing each other, kissing in the harbor, and just taking in the views, spending quality time together. Money wasn't even a thing in your bubble for a while.

"I'm getting hungry" he said on the way back home.

"Me too, and I'm super hot. I could go for a juice or something right now" you were all sweaty from the running, but you didn't care, he was too.

"You're always hot baby, I don't think juice gonna help with that" he grinned at you and you just rolled your eyes at him.

You passed by one of his favorite spots for food, nearby his place and he suggested getting some take-out, to which you agreed.

"Green juice, and a chicken wrap?" you tried to decide while the both of you waited in line.

"I'll never understand how you drink that"

"I've seen you drink that too, it's actually very refreshing"

"Because I'm forced to, I'm a high-performance athlete baby. But I'm on a break, so I'll have a coke, thank you very much" you laughed at him. He was holding your hand and tried to kiss you, wrapping his arm around you, you didn't dodge his kiss, you would never, but still laughed at the fact he wanted to kiss the sweaty mess you were right now.

"I'm gross, only you" you laughed.

"That's my baby, with no makeup she a ten" he rapped shrugging and grinning.

"Alright Lil Wayne, I know that one, don't even finish the verse" you laughed at him, making him laugh out loud, getting everyone's in the restaurant's attention.

"It's true, though"

"Sure..." You just shook your head smiling. Then you heard someone call his name.

"Hey! Daniel!" you both turned around to see Charles and Charlotte sitting in a corner, him waving at you two. You had met Charles a couple of times before but never spoke too much to him. They seemed to be leaving anyway, so they walked towards you guys, instead of towards the door.

"Hey mate, how's it going?" Daniel greeted him with a handshake. "Hey, Charlotte! You know (y/n) yet?"

"Hi! I don't think so, hi! How are you?" she greeted you smiling.

"Hi! Nice to meet you. Hi, Charles!" you said.

"Hey, (y/n). You're keeping him in line during the break? Char won't let me cheat my diet either" he laughed.

"Oh, that ship has sailed long ago! Daniel will just roll into the paddock if it's up to him" you laughed back.

"Hey! I think I've earned the right to some extra calories, we've been working out extra hard lately" Daniel said waving his eyebrows suggestively, making Charlotte giggle, Charles rolls his eyes and you go even redder than you were from the actual workout, while he just laughed out loud.

"I don't even want to know" Charles said. "Always great running into you mate" he was getting ready to say goodbye.

"Are we seeing you guys tomorrow?" Charlotte asked you.

"Tomorrow?" you asked her.

"Stefano's birthday" she said like it was obvious. Stefano Domenicali was the President and CEO of Formula 1, but you didn't know that yet - still, her tone made it seems like it was someone Daniel knew, so you just looked at him. He just rubbed his neck, looking a little embarrassed. "Oh, wait. Please tell me I didn't just said something I shouldn't" she looked at Charles.

"No, no. He invited me. Us, actually" Daniel reassured her. "I don't think we're going though, forgot to mention to you" he said looking at you.

"Uh mate, I wouldn't skip that if I were you. He didn't even invite all the drivers I heard" Charles said. "Maybe just stop by to say hello?"

"Stop by... a yacht... at the sea?" Charlotte said grinning at him. Daniel looked at you.

"You feel like going? It should be fun" he asked you.

"Sounds fancy... I mean, I don't mind if you go" you said.

"Common... I’m not going alone" he nudged you.

"I don't even have anything to wear, Dan" you told him.

"Oh! We can go shopping together!" Charlotte said and you had almost forgotten they were still there.

"Perfect!" Daniel answered for you. You could only imagine the types of stores she shopped.

"Tomorrow morning, then? Daniel can text your address to Charles for me? I'll pick you up!" she was being really nice about it.

"I thought you wanted to go today?" Charles said.

"That's when I thought I would have to go shopping with you, so I could use the extra time since you're the worst shopping partner ever!" she laughed at him.

"Burn!" Daniel laughed.

"His fashion taste is not the most reliable, let's face it" she laughed and kissed his cheek. "It's a date then (y/n)?" she looked expectantly at you. You didn't want to let her down, it was so hard to make friends with the girlfriends of other drivers, they were usually so... not nice. You could always just help her and find something to wear in your own stuff later.

"Yeah, sure! See you tomorrow, at 10?" you said simply.

"Perfect!" she beamed.

>>> end of part 1 <<<

[kindness-bliss]

New Beginnings Ch. 11

Timothy Thatcher x OC

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: none

Tim looked outside as he watched them drive off and rubbed his face and leaned against the wall and watched them all walk towards him. “I know, I know”

“Do you though ? Do you ?” Candice spat out “What in the absolute fuck were you thinking ? What happened ?”

“I just...I couldn’t handle the alcohol, it hit me all at once and then next thing I knew whats her face shoved her tongue down my throat and then...I was the one who initiated it” he admitted quietly “I was the one who took her to the bathroom to…to do that” Tim said not even being able to say the words

“What the fuck is wrong with you ?!” Oney demanded

Tim shook his head as he debated throwing himself in front of a moving car to end his never ending misery “Guys, Candice please”  “No, answer us” Johnny said sternly “Before we all take turns beating the absolute shit out of you, granted Maya clearly did a great job as we can tell by your slight limp and broken bruised nose you shit head !”  

 “Guys !” Tim exclaimed frustrated as he threw his hands down

“So you see her having a good time with us and Marcel so you decide to fuck someone in a bathroom at her own party when you claimed you were heartbroken and wanted her for yourself ? Instead of being a man and pulling her aside you do that ? To Maya, the legit most nicest and genuine person ?” Oney asks

“Oney….” “No I wanna know, I wanna know what it the absolute fuck went through your head when you decided to pull that shit ?” he repeated “This is a girl who liked you, spent 6 months sad over you while you couldn’t even answer a simple text message or call, you acted like a little bitch for 6 months moaning and complaining when you had absolutely no right to. She reached out, she called, left voicemails and sent text messages to you every fucking day for a month straight and you chose not to respond yet you get pissy because you see her enjoy herself with Marcel and all of us, you get jealous seeing her have fun. You’re bitter” he finally says “You’re nothing but a bitter child stuck inside a 38 year old man's body and you don’t deserve Maya. You don’t deserve her kindness nor her love and care because despite her being all lovey with Marcel tonight everyone here can see she wanted you, she craves you and that’s really fucking sad. But I think it’s time we don’t let that happen, it’s time we as her friends don’t let a 25 year old fall for a 38 year old bitter, disrespectful asswipe.”    Tim stood there in silence, swallowing the small amount he had left of pride. For Oney whom he had known for years to reprimand him he knew just how deep and bad shit really was.   “Yeah stay quiet buck teeth” Johnny muttered as he pushed past him with Candice and Fabian “Chipped teeth...not buck teeth” Fabian corrected quietly as he waited with them for an uber turning back when Johnny, Candice and Oney weren’t looking and giving him the finger ***** “Your place, not mine” Maya whispered meekly “I wanna be with you in your space, not mine”  “Anything you want” Marcel said softly as he noticed her holding his hand tightly in hers. This wasn’t in any way what he wanted for them, especially not for her. He felt disgusted as he drove thinking of how broken she must’ve been seeing that.    “I just wanna be with you, anywhere with you” she said quietly as she stared out her window “As long as I’m with you, I’ll be okay” He nodded as he blinked away tears, emotional at hearing her words as he pulled into his apartment building and helped her out   She let out a small shaky breath as she held his hand and walked with him towards the elevator taking off Fabian’s suit jacket as she handed it over “You can give this to him when you see him again, it was extremely kind of him”   “I will” he said softly as he pressed the button and stood with her with looming silence as the elevator took them up to his apartment   “I hate him” she said suddenly “and I’m sorry for everything that I did and said to you while being enamored with him, you didn’t deserve any of that from me”  

 “Maya, no. Don’t say that, listen things happened tonight and I really think tomorrow you two should talk I can call him over and-”

“No” she answered sternly as she shot him a look full of hurt and anger “It ends here, it dies here. He doesn’t exist to me and that’s that”   Marcel simply nodded as he didn’t push the topic any further and walked with her as he opened the door with his key and went to his bedroom to pull out a shirt and sweatpants for her and changed into his usual basketball shorts   

“Thanks” she whispered as she stripped down in the bathroom and threw them on immediately taking in his scent and feeling an immense feel of comfort

  “You didn’t eat” he said softly “let me get you some cereal at least, you still like lucky charms and almond milk ?”   Maya gave a soft grin as she nodded “Yeah...yeah I do, you still remember”

“Of course I do,” Marcel chuckled. “I remember all your likes and dislikes, what shows you love and hate, the fact that you need to sleep on the side by the wall, how you only like your eggs scrambled but never over easy. I remember it all”

 She walked over and looked up at him as he caressed his cheek with her hand “You truly never forgot, you remember and you’re always there for me”

“I always will be, no matter what” he whispered as he touched her hand “As much as I’d like to kiss you, I think you should eat and get in bed, you look exhausted as can be. You need proper rest” Maya nodded as she sat at his table and ate the bowl he served in front of her. It softened her seeing Marcel care so much about her and something about this made her see him in a different light. He wasn’t the vain wrestler who was into himself, he was the man she fell in love with 3 years ago who taught everything there was to know about love.   “What’s going through your head ?” He asked finally “You can be honest with me, I know you still like him a lot judging by how you reacted tonight”  “Marcel...it’s not like that” she explained “It was a shock, that was it. It was just purely shock but just...I don’t wanna talk about it anymore okay ? Can we just stop it please ?”    “Absolutely” he nodded as he picked up her plate “Let’s get to bed”  She nodded and followed as she laid down and scooted close towards him, going beneath his arm as she snuggled up and looked up at him caressing his cheek with her hand    “Hi” he whispered as he gave a soft grin  Maya looked in his eyes and sat up as she cradled his face and kissed him deeply “That’s what I wanted to do all night”   “I-I…wow” Marcel whispered as he licked his lips “That was just, did-did you just kiss me, is this a dream ?”   Maya chuckled as she rolled her eyes “Wow, way to ruin a moment. I’m trying to be romantic over here and do something”   “I’m just shocked is all….you like me ? As in like me more than a friend ?”   “I do” she admits “I really do, these last 6 months you’ve been there for me in so many ways and you’ve made my life so much better. It’s been hard you know ?”   “I do,” Marcel whispered, “But this isn’t exactly how I pictured things working out at all, it’s not how I wanted things to be. I wanted something nice and calm and a bit more romantic” She laughed as she shook her head “Listen life isn’t a fairytale and as much as we’d like to be it’s best just to not expect much and go with the flow. I for one can admit tomorrow I’m probably gonna be hungover and emotional just letting you know ahead   “I’ll be here with you” He pet her cheek as he watched her finally drift to sleep “I’ll always be here with you..” ****  “Well well if it isn’t my favorite student” Eli grinned as he opened the door into the room at the performance center “You’re bright and early Thatch, love when my worst promo student shows up early to class” he laughed Tim rolled his eyes and sat down “Not today alright ? Just get on with the private class so I can go home already” “Not even a death stare or shove today ? Something really must have you down” He raised a brow as he grabbed a chair and sat in front of him “Tell me”    “You haven’t heard ?,” Tim asked surprised. “It’s literally everywhere by now, seriously go check your phone or ask your girlfriend Alli. She has to know” Eli furrowed his brow, taking out his phone and putting it on speaker as he dialed “Baby, hey ! Um have you heard anything about something going down at EVE nightclub in downtown Orlando last night ?”   “Oh my god, yes ! So remember Maya ? Maya Dawson ? The girl we met during one of your commercial shoots in LA and had dinner with a few weeks ago ?” Alli asked not even giving him a chance to answer “Well she apparently had a thing with that one loner dude Tim you work with for a hot minute but nothing serious from what I’ve heard, like not instagram official or anything. All she told me was that they made out a few times but nothing too much”  Eli nodded as he listened “Oh wow, I didn’t know that. Okay go on….” “So they broke up because she didn’t tell him she was engaged prior to that really cute German dude with the blue eyes who happens to be friends with Tim. Drama ensues, she tells me over brunch he never bothered to respond to anything she sent for 6 whole months and she’s back with Marcel on “friendly terms” well she got that Maxim cover and had a big party last night which we got invited but obviously couldn’t go and well...Tim shows up, gets drunk and fucks none other than Kara Smith in the bathroom of the club ! THE Kara Smith !” Alli exclaimed loudly shaking her head disgusted  “NO ! No fucking way ! Um baby, I gotta call you back !” Eli’s eyes widened as he hung up and looked at Tim “You didn’t…. tell me she’s just somehow dramatizing shit”   “How the hell does Alli know everything ?” Tim asked “This is weird, this is why I stay away from social media, this isn’t normal”   Eli scowled “Jesus christ, you fucked Kara Smith and got away with it. That woman has had it out for Maya for the last year, all because miss bleach blonde can’t stand Maya’s more popular, she’s like 33 having it out against a 25 year old. You literally slept with her worst enemy, how drunk were you ?”   “Don’t even remind me” he rubbed his face “I literally am the most hated man in this building, I walked in and immediately it looked like I was gonna get jumped”   “And here I thought I was the whore yet I’ve been in a loving relationship for over a year” Eli chuckled “I can’t believe you man, who does that ?”   Tim shook his head “I don’t even know how to fix this, or even talk to her” “Don’t” Eli answered “Let her be, this isn’t something women get over fast or ever actually, you’re gonna have to suffer man. And quite frankly you deserve it”   He sighed and got up “I’m going home, I don’t feel like being here and quite frankly I don’t wanna hear anymore about how I fucked up”   “Since everyone hates you but me just come to my place” he offered “Alli won’t care, plus I’m done here I was just waiting for you to show up”  Sure it may have been a pity offer but Tim took it with no hesitation “Alright, I’ll drive behind you” he nodded as they both left ****   Maya stirred as she fluttered her eyes open checking her phone for the time, groaning when she saw it was only 8 am , leaning her head back against Marcel's arm as she turned her head and caressed his cheek lightly with her finger tips. She leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to his lips taking in all his features, his cheek bones, his soft skin, his chiseled jawline, his defined lips. Everything she loved about him standing out to her as she gulped and moved her hand onto his chest as she kissed him once again slightly deeper, looking into his deep blue eyes once they opened    “Maya ?” he whispered as he pet her cheek, slightly confused as she had kissed him. Confused she had initiated their physical contact rather than him like it had always been   “Hey” she whispered back “I want you….” Maya finally said “I want you now”  As soon as she said those words he leaned in and kissed her ,gently flipping them around so she was on her back as he laid above her and kissed down her neck listening to her loud moans. It had been years since they were together, years since they had last had any kind of physical contact like this.    Maya groaned as she felt his hand down her sweats at her core “t-take them off” Marcel did as told, watching her as he moved his fingers in circular motions, breathing deeply as she kissed along his jaw and removed his shirt. He took his time as he continued to kiss focusing on her breasts feeling her arch her back slightly   “I can’t, please...now” she whimpered “please”  “Are you sure ?” “Yes” she nodded “I’ve been been so sure of something before, yes” He kissed her deeply as he guided himself into her and thrusted in slowly, feeling her nails dig into his shoulder blades “Is it okay ?” “Perfect” she nodded as she hands caressed his face “So perfect, I...I had forgotten how good you feel, how this feels”  Marcel gave a soft grin as he kissed her once again and picked up the pace, holding one hip with his hand as he found a perfect rhythm not keeping his eyes off of hers  She cradled his face and planted a sloppy kiss on his lips arching her back off the mattress and into his body as far as she could feeling the need getting closer and closer  “I’m so close, so fucking close” “Fuck you feel so good” he moaned as he swallowed a deep gulp “Every part of you feels amazing, god I missed you so fucking much Maya, so much”  “Marcel...I can’t hold, I can’t” she whimpered as she felt his hot breath in the crook of her neck He pulled out slightly and pushed back in giving a few more hard thrusts as he picked up the pace and felt her walls clench against him   “Fuck….” she cried out as she came with him wrapping her arms around neck, riding out what was left of their orgasm with him  Marcel collapsed on top of her as he felt her chest rise up and down, her fingers gently playing with his hair

“You okay ?” she asked softly as she lazily kissed his forehead

“I’ve never ever been better” he lifted his chin and looked into her eyes “I haven’t felt like this in a long long time” “Neither have I” she admitted with a smile “Just like old times….”

Marcel blushed at the memories “You mean when we almost got caught by my brother at my mothers house ?”

“And just like that the romance is once again gone” Maya chuckled as she sat up and pulled the sheet up to cover herself 

Marcel laughed as he held her hand in his and kissed it “Now, don’t call me cheesy but….will you be my girlfriend...again ?” “After an orgasm like that ? Of course” she joked as she kissed “But honestly, yes. I would love to”

He let out a sigh of relief as he kissed her back “Things are gonna be good, I promise you that”  

 “No promises” she whispered against his lips “Let’s take it day by day, no pressures no nothing. Just us being together”. She cuddled up against his chest, listening to his heart beat as she dozed back to sleep in his hold ***** “Tim, this is my girlfriend Alli” Eli grinned as he introduced them “Baby, this is Tim”

“I’m loner dude Tim” he said as he offered his hand with a small grin, retracting it when he received a stare back

 “You’ll have to excuse her…women sticking together and that whole thing” he whispered lowly as he sat with him    “May I offer you something to drink as dinner gets closer to being ready ?” Alli asked “Water, Coffee, tea, soda...a condom” she muttered under her breath   “Alli...” Eli looked up at her “Come on, the guy knows he messed up let’s let him not feel like crap for a bit”   “I wanna hear it all, all of it. Not one detail left behind” she scowled as she set the table “Come eat” Tim sighed as he got up and sat and told them everything, everything from how to they had met to their first fight, to finding out the truth and to the previous night  

“So here I am now, hated by 95% of people at the performance center and with a brand new reputation now so yeah life’s great” Eli turned to Alli who had the same expression he had as they both looked at Tim, Alli being the first to speak as she sipped her wine and let out a deep breath “Tim, do you realize you’re in love ?”   “Yeah” he answered quietly, putting his fork down “I do, I realized it last night when I felt myself get angry when I saw her with Marcel enjoying herself. I wasn’t angry because I was jealous or felt possessive, I was angry because she wasn’t with me” Tim admits “because she wasn’t by my side enjoying herself with me and because in that moment it hit me that I majorly messed up. That I was an idiot who let 6 months go by all because I had to be right, I had the need to be in the right when I was in the wrong” “Deep shit” Eli nodded sighing “I just, I just really think you gotta let things cool down for a bit but also send her a text, do what she did to you all those months ago but in your case don’t stop. Do it till you get some kind of response back”  “Or maybe not” Alli said softly as she looked at her phone and showed Eli “Oh…” Tim looked up “what ? what happened ?”,  he looked as Alii gave Eli a nod and moved his eyes towards her phone. A soft breath escaping his lips as he stared at the image in front of him, a picture of Marcel and Maya’s hands intertwined via his IG account  marcel.barthel.wwe “Matching and hand holding with my favorite girl❤️👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨”

“Back together I see” Tim nodded “Well that’s perfectly fine, it’s their right” “I’m gonna um load the dish washer” Alli grinned as she got up quickly and left to the kitchen, Eli following shortly behind her   “Be right back man” he coughed leaving his phone behind on the table Tim looked around as he picked up the phone and unlocked it easily with Eli’s birthday, sure it was wrong as hell but curiosity had gotten the best of him. He quickly went to the instagram app and looked up Marcel’s profile, shaking his head when he saw everyone comment @candicelerae omg love birds ! I can’t handle the cuteness, double date soon please 😍 @thejohnnygargano what she said👆🏻, also u 2 make me wanna puke (in a good way) @indihartwell my other mom and dad, so cute 💕 @fabian.aichnerwwe so I take it you’re gonna take his gym pics now ? @wwestardestroyer I swear if you guys don’t get a damn room already 🤮🤮🤮 “Jerks” Tim muttered as he put the phone down and crossed his arms. Perhaps this was the end of good things for him, or maybe just this once he’d get out of his own shell and go for it. 

[psychedellic-phase]

Fifteen (part 10)

A/N: Part of this chapter is inspired by the song 2 Years by Thomston. Thank you to the lovely anon that told me this song reminded them of this fic! I highly recommend listening to it! 

word count: 3.9k 

tw: mentions of childbirth, slight season 9 spoilers, otherwise fluffy 

masterlist: “A few months later we were in Boston, on that strangulation case. It’s a pretty hard case to forget, I mean, you delivered a baby. A real human baby, that you brought earthside with your own two hands. You delivered him, and she named him after you. Baby Spencer. 

Morgan and I dragged the unsub out into the street, hearing that poor woman scream and cry as you brought her baby into the world, but you did great, and he was beautiful. Just like his namesake. When I walked back inside I saw you give her the baby, and my heart just about melted into a puddle on the floor. You and kids, it just does something to me. It feels like my heart comes out of my body and into your hands like putty. It's an odd feeling, like you’re physically poking around in my chest. In a weird way I’ll miss it. 

Then I saw JJ give you a side hug, and put her arm on your chest. She even leaned into your neck, with a soft, sweet little nuzzle. You probably didn’t notice it, but I did. I always noticed. A million little ways to say ‘I love you’ without actually saying ‘I love you’. Right?

Yet again, I said nothing. I had no logical reason to be worried. She was married. You told me daily how much you loved me, how special I was, how beautiful, how amazing, how lucky you were. It’s a shame you didn’t feel like that at the end. But I made it okay. I told myself I was just overthinking it all, like usual. I buried it all down. Again, and again, and again. 

That night we went to that bar Rossi loves and everyone was happy, talking about how you delivered a baby. 

Alex asked you, “How on earth did you know what to do?” 

You explained how you memorized all the delivery manuals when JJ was pregnant, just in case. I often wonder if you’d do half the things you do for her, if it were for someone else. Or are some things just for JJ?

I just smiled and laughed, still pushing the feelings away. It was a night to celebrate and I was determined to not be a party pooper. Instead, I went the other way. I was the life of that party. We all got on stage and sang ‘Piano man’ karaoke, and if anyone was making love to a tonic and gin that night, it was me. Many, many, tonic and gins. I stumbled into an Uber with you and ended up at home. You helped me into bed. You wiped off my makeup and undressed me, putting one of your large shirts on me, leaving a bottle of water, two advils, and a note that said “i love you, love” for me to see when I woke up. Stuff like that makes me wonder if you’d only ever do some things for me. It sounds selfish, but I hope wiping my makeup off and putting my moisturizer on for me is something reserved for us. I know there are many things I have reserved just for you, Spence. No one will ever be that kind to me again, and that’s a fact.”

Are some things just for JJ? Really? He was irritated for a passing moment, why were you mad about him caring about his best friend? Before he had even met you?

But then that anger was soon replaced with confusion. Why’d you never mention it? In all the fights you had, you never once mentioned JJ. You never once threw the feelings that were so clear to everyone in his face. Why? Why not? 

Every word made him feel like he didn’t really know you, but also made him wonder if you even knew him? Because if you did you would’ve known he did nothing for JJ, but everything for you. 

“I immediately fell asleep.

 I woke up at some point, maybe around four am, and you weren’t in the bed next to me. I remember patting the sheets, looking for you as I usually did at night. To sleep, I needed to feel you pressed up against me. I didn’t. I panicked. I looked at the note, and for half a second I thought you left. It did look a little like a goodbye note, Spence. I yelled your name a few times, and when I didn’t get a response I really started to worry. I got out of bed and stumbled around; my head was still fuzzy. I walked around the house calling your name. You still didn’t answer. I finally found you on the balcony. 

It was warm for April, and you were sitting on a chair in your pajamas, staring at the stars. 

“Talking to the moon again?” I said, and you turned to look at me. 

The moon was a waxing crescent (thank you for that) so I couldn’t see you well. If it had been full, maybe I would’ve seen your sad eyes. 

“Hey, what’re you doing up?” You whispered.

I sat in the other chair, “I woke up and you weren’t there, so I came to find you. You scared me half to death, Reid.”

 I was looking at you but you wouldn’t look at me. I needed you to look at me.

“Go back to sleep.”

“Only if you come with me.” 

I was trying to be funny, but the pit in my stomach was insane. I really felt like I was staring the end in the face. That was the first time I ever saw you like that, completely shut out from me. You were always forthcoming with me, no matter what was going on. Your voice was rough, like you were getting a cold. You cleared your throat. 

“I think I want to stay out here a while longer.”

“Okay, then I’ll stay with you.”

“Y/N...” You were warning me, I should’ve listened. 

I stood up to walk back inside and I patted your shoulder. I disappeared to get a tub of ice cream and two spoons. We both knew your stomach would hurt afterwards, but we didn’t care. The comfort that binging on ice cream when you’re sad brings is well worth a tummy ache. And even in my half drunk brain fog, I could tell you needed it.”

Spencer chuckled, remembering how you always kept two tubs in the freezer “just in case.” Whenever one of you was having one of those days, the other would grab a tub, and you’d sit in silence and eat. That was back when each other’s company was enough. He still kept one tub in his freezer, hoping in some weird way that you’d be back and the two of you could sit and eat in silence, and somehow that would make it all okay. 

“We sat in silence staring at the sky and taking turns grabbing spoonfuls of cookie dough ice cream. It was comfortable, domestic, calm. 

“So, are you going to tell me what’s bothering you?”

You shook your head, “Nothing’s bothering me.”

“You only talk to the moon when you’re upset, Spence.”

You sighed, knowing I was right. The ice cream was for bad days, but the moon was for when you needed to think. And think alone. You said staring up at the moon helped you feel grounded; it reminded you how important we are. It always reminded me of how small I am, how I am literally a speck of dust on a planet that’s a slightly bigger speck of dust that’s hurling through time and space. It reminds me of how small we all are in the grand scheme of the universe. Then you’d tell me: “Everything that makes up us is from those stars. We’re literally made of stardust.” Then I’d feel important too, because you made me important. I mattered because I was in this place at this time with you. You’d tell me about the big bang and the million miracles that led to us being here, alive in this moment. You’d say it reminded you how lucky you were that you got to exist in this world with me. I don’t know if I believe in God, Spence, but if there is one I thank him for letting me exist at the same time as you, even if it was only for a finite time.”

He had to remind himself to breathe. How could words suffocate? How could ink take his breath away? Spencer wished it was nighttime, so he could talk to the moon again, so he could feel important again, so he could feel lucky. 

“You didn’t answer.

“Was it the case?”

You just nodded slightly, as if to say ‘sort of’. 

“This is literally as good as it can go. We got the guy and you brought someone’s baby into the world. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a happier ending.”

“No.”

That’s all you said, and I let the silence fester. We both just kept eating the ice cream. After about fifteen minutes you said, “The world looks different from here.”

“From the balcony? Yeah I guess, the city looks small, tiny ant people.”

You chuckled, “No, like from where I am right now in my life. I just see the world different than I did yesterday.”

“And I’m sure we’ll look at it differently again tomorrow.” I was trying to help, but it was 4:30 in the morning and I was still slightly buzzed. No amount of ice cream or an existential crisis was going to get rid of that. 

“I held a human being in my hands as it took its first breaths today, Y/N. I was the first thing he ever saw. I literally held his life in my hands.” 

“I know. Maybe you should take up obstetrics.” Another failed attempt at a joke.

 “It just made me think.”

“About what?”

“I just, I always thought I wanted kids,” you said it doubtfully and with a shrug. You looked at me in my eyes finally, and wow did it hurt. 

“But now I’m not so sure.”

I’m pretty sure my jaw almost dropped. How did delivering a baby make you no longer want a village of kids on Christmas morning? I thought it’d have the opposite effect. I thought it’d ignite your baby fever, like it ignited mine. My heart sank, “Why?” 

“I-I don’t know.”

I tried, again, to lighten the mood, “Is it because of the actual birth part? Because I promise I can handle it. No epidurals for me.”

You half smiled, “No, no it’s not that.”“Well then what is it?” I had this dreadful feeling that you were going to tell me that it was me. That I was the reason. That you wanted kids, but you didn’t want them with me.

 “How am I supposed to pass on these genes?”

“Your super smart, tall, handsome, magnificent genius genes? C’mon Spence,” I scoffed. 

“I meant schizophrenia.”

The air went cold between us. 

“You don’t have it though.”

“Having a grandparent with the disease increases your chances of developing it by 5%.”

“Yeah, and I have bad eyesight and terrible allergies and had braces as a kid, which our kids will inherit.” 

“You don’t understand what I mean.”

I rolled my eyes, “No, Love, I don’t. But I do know that you can’t be scared of what ifs.”

You ran your hands through your hair, and just groaned. You sighed, but I kept rambling. I blame my loose lips on Rossi. He kept buying, and I kept drinking.

“And there’s so many what ifs. What if they do get schizophrenia? But what if they don’t and you didn’t have kids because you were scared?”

“It’s not just that it’s—”

“It’s what Spencer?”

“I-I didn’t have a dad! I don’t know how to be one.”

We sat in silence. I didn’t know what to say. 

“I just don’t think it’s for me anymore.”

I felt tears sting my eyes. If we weren’t on the same page, this conversation was going to end horribly. “

But if you don’t want them then—“ I stopped and shakily wiped my face. 

“Then what?” You sounded scared.

I stopped myself from saying something that I’d regret. I wanted to say ‘then I can’t do this.’ Thank god I didn’t. 

“I just, I always thought my kids would be your kids too. I don’t think I want to be a parent if you aren’t there with me.”

Your eyes were shining from the tears and the sliver of moon when they met mine, “Really?”“

Yeah, I’ve told you this a million times, love. You will be the best father because you know what it’s like to not have one. You become better than the people before you.”

You dropped the spoon into the almost empty tub, “I know, I know. I just got in my head about it all.”

“Stop thinking about years ahead, Spence. All you have to think about is right now. I know it feels like we’re running out of time, but don’t rush life.”

You smiled watery and I went to sit on your lap. You rubbed your hand against the small of my back and we watched the sun start to rise. We were done talking to the moon. I dragged you inside, the new day’s sun was coming in through the windows. 

“Do you really think you’re running out of time?” You asked me, holding me close.

 I nodded, “Yeah. I always feel like I am. I thought I’d have two kids and a golden retriever by thirty-one, but I have none of that and I’m getting close to thirty-two. Twenty-four hours just feels shorter and shorter everyday.”

“That’s because each day is a smaller and smaller fraction of our memories. Time feels quicker and quicker every day.”

There you were. There was my love. My you. 

I squeezed you, “I know. It’s just scary. I feel like I’m behind.”

“I feel like that a lot too. You know I thought I’d cure schizophrenia by twenty-five?”

I smiled, “Even you can’t do everything, love.”

“Do you want to catch up?”

“How so?”

“We could get a golden retriever.”

I laughed, “Sure, and next you’ll be saying ‘let’s have a baby.’”

You shrugged and swooped me in front of you, “Why not? Me, you, a baby, sounds pretty good.” 

You said it as a joke, but it didn’t feel like one. “

You mean that?” I looked up at you and could see that longing in your eyes. You could see it in mine too. Always so pensive, Spencer Reid. 

“I didn’t mean like right now, but we can soon. We have to get married first.”

I rolled my eyes, “Who says we need to get married first? JJ and Will didn’t get married until Henry was four. They’re perfect.”

“Henry wasn’t planned.”

“And?”

“And, I’d like to marry you before knocking you up,” you said it like a joke again, peppering me in kisses. 

“We don’t need a stupid piece of paper from the government, Love.”

“So you don’t want to marry me?” There was amusement in your voice. 

“Oh, I want to marry you. I want to marry you so hard, Spencer Reid.”

We laughed, “I want to marry you so hard too.”

You kissed my forehead, and then my lips before moving away from me. 

“So, we both know we want to marry each other and we just agreed to have a baby, like soon?” I clarified. 

“Yes. We did. So, what’s stopping us from doing it right now?” You started milling around in the book case, looking for something. “

Don’t you dare get down on one knee right now, Spencer Reid. I told you already, I am not getting engaged without my nails done.”

You smiled, “I wasn’t! I wasn’t! I was just going to put on some music.” You held up a CD, and I smiled. You came back and pulled me close, and we started to sway back and forth. I always wanted to dance in the kitchen with the love of my life. That morning I did.

After the song ended, we went up to bed finally. I remember laying down and kissing you, going to the place we usually went. Afterwards, you held me against your chest again, “Did you mean it?”

I nodded, “Every word.”

You sighed happily, “So did I.”

I looked up at you, grinning, “So does that mean puppy Reid and baby Reid are coming soon?”

You rolled your eyes, “Puppy Reid, I can handle. But baby Reid is after Mrs. Reid. Call me old fashioned, but that’s how I want to do this.”

I toyed with your hair, “I can handle that.”

While I was packing, I found the CD you were rummaging for. I put it on and danced around the kitchen again. It wasn’t the same. ‘Your Song’ by Elton John is a love song, and love songs just hurt when you’re alone. I swayed in the sunlight, imagining you were swaying with me, talking about having a baby and getting married. I miss that feeling. I miss talking to the moon. I miss ice cream. I miss dancing in the kitchen to Elton John. I miss baggy tee shirts. I miss little notes. I miss the way “How wonderful life is when you’re in the world” felt when I was in your arms. I miss late night kissing. I miss the way you feel with me. I miss us. I miss you, but I miss that you. 

You’re probably wondering what your souvenir from that night is. I thought about giving you the CD, I thought about giving you some ice cream and a spoon, I even thought about giving you the moon, but I decided on the note. “I love you, love.” 

The note was badly wrinkled and his pencil chicken scratch was faded with time. He smiled, remembering the hundreds of notes he probably left you. They always ended in “I love you” with a little doodled heart. He remembered dancing in the sunlight and looking at engagement rings and rescue dogs. He missed you, and not just the version of you from that memory. He missed the version of you from the end. He hated that you didn’t miss that him too.  

“I thought going through all of this would bring me some closure, and now that we’re halfway through I realize that was a mistake. Instead of stitching me up, this opened wounds I thought I had long since healed. This brought it all back. I hope this doesn’t do that for you. I hope it’s the period on the end of this run on sentence. I hope this is closure for you. We both need that.”

He took the letter and the note and walked to his bed, flopping on it and staring at the ceiling fan. It was soothing, in a weird way. He fell into a trance. 

His phone ringing tried to snap him out of it. He didn’t reach for it and waited until the vibrations died. They came again, and he forced himself to look at it. 

JJ. 

Great, first Derek, now JJ. He knew they were just being good friends, but it was getting tiring. He wanted to just be alone, and he especially didn’t want to hear from JJ. His relationship with her was a point of contention with you and he didn’t even know. Between what he had just read and the photo from her wedding, all the old feelings he had for her were brought back to the surface and made him feel gross. He now realized the way your face would turn sour whenever he would pick JJ up in a spin and your off remarks when he’d mention going out with her. In hindsight, you were being jealous but somewhat reasonable. Before he met you, he wondered if he was just waiting for an alternate universe where he could be with JJ. One where there was no Will and no bad Redskins date, where he could look at her without it hurting. Now he knew he’d only be waiting for an alternate universe where he could be with you. 

The phone buzzed again and he finally decided to grab it and answer. 

“Hello?”His voice was groggy and hoarse from not being used. 

“Spence? Hey, it’s me, I just wanted to see if you were okay?”

He didn’t answer, eyes still trained on the fan. 

She cleared her throat, “I just talked to Derek and...”

“What’d he say?”

“He told me about the letters, little dramatic huh?”

He could hear her roll her eyes. JJ was the sweetest person alive, but when it came to Spencer the claws could come out. 

“Yeah, I’m up to number ten,” he kept his voice steady and almost bored, not wanting to reveal anything to her. 

“Out of how many?”

“Fifteen.”

Spencer stood up and walked to the window by the chess table.

 “How are you doing?”

“Did you know every seven to ten years our cells regenerate completely?” Spencer spoke into the phone, staring out the window. It was mid afternoon by now and the snow had stopped. The cars on the road had ruined the innocent white snow, leaving dark gray slush in their wake.

“Every cell?” JJ said back, the phone making her voice crackly and hard to hear. 

“Yeah, skin cells live two to three weeks,” He swallowed thickly, “So the skin she has right now is skin I’ve never touched. Those cells don’t know who I am. My lips are already on the second cycle. They’ve never kissed her. Eventually I’ll have a body that doesn’t recognize hers and she’ll have a body that recognizes someone who isn’t me.”

JJ didn’t speak, just sighed, “You know that isn’t true.”

“It is, Jennifer,” He ran his hands through his hair, “I’m going to be stuck here and she’s going to move on and it’s killing me.” His voice cracked at the end.

 “Then don’t think of it as being stuck, think of it as a turning point. You get to choose a direction now. You’re at a crossroads, Spence, you can choose to move on.” 

She sounded earnest and he knew she was right, but he couldn’t help the feeling. It’s like he was in quicksand and no one could pull him out. 

“Thanks,” he mumbled. 

JJ sighed, “Do you want to talk about the letters?”

“No,” he said harsher than he intended, “I just want to finish this and then figure out what I’m supposed to do.”

“Well, if you need any help, you know where to find me.”

He nodded as if she could see him and whispered, “Bye.”

He hung up before she could respond. He threw the phone on the window sill and walked to the bathroom, splashing cold water over his face. He stared at his own reflection in the mirror. It looked foreign. The whites of his eyes were bloodshot, his skin looked pale, and his hair looked like he had just rolled out of bed, which he kind of had. He felt like his whole body was bruised. He toyed with his hair to get it to a tolerable place and sat back down on his bed, grabbing the tenth letter.

part 11!

taglist! (just let me know if you’d like to be added!)

@l0ve-0f-my-life @aperrywilliams @helloniallslovelies @random-ravings @ajwantsapancake @andiebeaword @boiled-onionrings @frnks-stuff @icantevenanymore1 @mellifluouswildbluebells @rottenearly @sammypotato67 @blushingwueen @peaxhyjaes @justanotherfangurlz @juniorgman187 @mbowles23-blog @blameitonthenight21​ @goldentournesol​

[puckyeahobx]

in the middle of the party b*tch get off of me

a/n: here’s some jj for you guys....this is a personal favorite of mine and very much so inspired by the one tik tok he posted where he had handcuffs O.o

summary: y/n and jj go to college together and celebrate halloween at his frat house <3 sexiness ensues

warnings: nsfw duh 

It wasn’t that you thought JJ was dumb, but it was moreso that you thought JJ was focused on other things like fixing cars, finding the best weed in a fifty mile radius, and taking care of his friends. His criminal record also didn’t necessarily lend itself to an academic lifestyle either, now that you thought about it...but JJ had never ceased to amaze you as long as you had known him, so I guess you really should not have been shocked when he showed up on your doorstep with an acceptance letter to North Carolina State. He said it had nothing to do with you thinking of going there too, but you knew better. 

High school ending had really been freaking him out even if he had tried not to show it. His friends were the one thing that had kept him grounded all of these years and he wasn’t sure what would become of him once you all went your separate ways. Luckily, though, you ended up choosing NC State. They had the best program for your major out of everywhere you applied and had offered you a decent chunk of cash. It had nothing to do with JJ going there...obviously. 

Kie was at UNC Chapel Hill, Pope at Duke, and John B was on a gap year, trying to figure out what the hell he wanted to do, which left you and JJ to your own devices your freshman year. It was a big school and you both found groups of people you liked, JJ with his frat brothers (also a huge shock to you, but the guys in his frat were actually really cool and pretty pogue-like, he wouldn't be caught dead in a kook infested frat) and fellow social services majors, you with your roommates and friends from classes, but you two always ended up spending the most time with each other anyway. It didn’t take very long into your freshman year to realize that old habits really do die hard. Whether it was walking to class together, eating in the dining hall, studying in the library, you guys were always together. Sometimes your new friends joined you guys, but more often than not when you weren’t in your dorms you were alone together. This wasn’t an issue for you, of course. Just like the rest of the world, you had been into JJ since you first met him. And lately, through all the alone time and leaning on each other, it became clear that he might maybe feel the same way.

It was the small things like how his hand rested on your back when he walked up behind you or when his arm fell on your shoulders when you sat on your shitty dorm futon together or how anytime one of his friends flirted with you in front of you his jaw clenched and he suddenly was at a loss for his usual sarcastic banter. But you were getting ahead of yourself, right? You two were each other’s rocks at this time. It was probably all platonic like it had always been. But that didn’t mean you couldn’t push the limits of friendship and have a little fun from time to time, did it? No, no it didn’t. So when Halloween came creeping around the corner, you made sure you had your fun.

JJ’s frat was obviously throwing a party in celebration of the holiday, because if there’s one thing frat guys love it’s alcohol and almost-naked girls - the true nature of Halloween. It was a costume party but that was pretty much code for “Show as much skin as possible”, so you went for the classic angel look. A white bra, a white mini skirt you found at the back of your friend’s closet, and Party City wings. It was truly innovative. You tried to make it look like you actually tried by hot gluing some rhinestones on your bra and doing your hair and makeup all ethereal and sexy, but you knew that as soon as you stepped into that disgusting, sweaty frat house you would somehow go from an 11 to a solid 7 and that was just something you were going to have to be ok with. It was always dark anyway.

You didn’t arrive at the party until a little after ten because your friend went a little too hard at the pregame and had already vomited all over her devil lingerie, so you all had to deal with that mess before tucking her into bed and escaping out the door before things could get worse. But after many texts and snaps from JJ harassing you for keeping him waiting, you were finally there and your stomach was flipping with nerves. JJ refused to reveal what he was dressed up as, saying it was a surprise, and you just couldn’t wait to see him as someone else, hoping he’d see you as someone else tonight too. Someone he wanted to be with. 

The music was heard from the front lawn as you stepped out of the uber and up the steps, waving to the pledge from your Comp 101 class, thankful that JJ had somehow weaseled out of his pledge duties for the night. Once you stepped inside you and your friends immediately scoped out your surroundings. There was a party going on in the main entrance and living room, but there was also lights and music coming from the basement, meaning JJ could literally be anywhere. Luckily, the ratio of guys to girls was positively halting so being able to single out a 6 foot man amongst a sea of girls shouldn’t be that hard.

And then, you saw him.

You almost fell over at the look of him. You could tell he had already started drinking and was a little sweaty by the sheen covering his face and the way his hair was standing up on its own, like it always did after he ran his hands through it. He was leaning against the wall, PBR in hand, assessing the crowd and laughing with the guy on his left. Your eyes travelled down from his hair and glowing skin to his neck and chest, both completely uncovered. He was in a navy button up that was incredibly tight around his biceps but only buttoned on the bottom two buttons. A gold badge was pinned over his right breast, and then it dawned on you. 

“You’re a fucking cop!” You punched his arm as you snuck up on him.

Startled and rubbing his arm, he softened when he saw who had just assaulted him. “Never thought you’d see the day, huh?”

“What happened to ACAB? Looks like someone’s all talk…”

He scoffed and threw his arm around your shoulder, walking with you towards the bar, “It’s called irony sweetheart. I thought a genius like you would understand that?”

You rolled your eyes and shook his arm off you, laughing at his remark (and trying to not focus on the “sweetheart” of it all), “So, what branch of the police force is it that allows their officers to walk around half naked?” You teased as you walked up to the bar, asking the frat brother in nothing but a cowboy hat and too short cut off jean shorts for a cup of whatever the drink was tonight. 

“Um the one with all the sexy stripper cops. They even gave me these,” You turn back around with your drink against your lips and you nearly spat it out when you saw what he was talking about. He had a pair of what looked like actual handcuffs dangling off his pointer finger, “Fully functional,” he finished with a wink.

You gulped and hoped he didn’t notice, “Very impressive, does the rest of the force know about the stash of weed in the loose floorboard in your dorm room?”

His face, and the handcuffs, fell. “You’re no fun, Y/N. It’s Halloween! You can be anything you want! And tonight, I’m the only cop that isn’t a bastard.”

You laughed at his mini outburst and put your hand on his cheek sweetly, still laughing. “You’re right I’m sorry. You make a very non-bastard cop. It suits you.”

“I always have looked good in blue.”

Lightly smacking him you rolled your eyes again and brought your hand back to your cup, looking at him as you took a big drink. He was looking directly back at you. You finished off the cup and tossed it at the overflowing trash can, “Let’s dance. I love this song.” This was a lie, you had never heard this song before in your life, but you just wanted an excuse to grab his hand and drag him on the dance floor. 

Everyone around you was dancing ass to dick, going absolutely stupid in a true intoxicated fashion, but you weren’t nearly drunk enough for that yet. So, instead, you and JJ did what you always did was just jump and scream at each other, throwing in some limb flailing every now and then. If you were really lucky, he would throw in the sprinkler every now and then. This was all fine and dandy, a couple of songs deep, until you felt your elbow accidentally collide with something rock hard, immediately followed by something wet splashing all over your back.

“Oh my gosh I’m so sorry-” you said, spinning around, mortified. You were met with the biggest man you had ever seen in your life who did not look very happy to see you looking back at him. But, considering his eyes looked glazed over, you figured that had less to do with you and more to do with the fact that he was probably off something far out of your league. 

“Fucking watch where you’re going next time,” He gruffed at you as he jerked the arm you had hit away.

You were stunned by how aggressive he was, “I’m- I’m sor-”

But before you could stutter out an apology, JJ was pushing you behind him, puffing his chest out as he faced the roided-out gentleman giving you a death glare. “What the fuck did you just say to her?”

“She spilled my drink,” The giant said as if you had just murdered his dog.

“Yeah and this is a frat house, go turn on the faucet in the sink and I’m sure Captain Morgan will come out,” spat JJ.

Sasquatch scoffed and shook his head at JJ, “Just keep a better handle on your bitch, pledge. I don’t need some slut wasting all of our alc.”

“You son of a bitch.” You saw JJ’s arm wind back, his fist clenched ready to swing.

“JJ, no!” You grabbed his arm before he could do something seriously idiotic and didn’t let go of it until you had made your way off the dance floor and into the backyard. “What the fuck were you thinking, trying to throw a punch at that guy?! He looked like he eats whole goats for breakfast!”

His hands were running through his hair and he was pacing. You could tell he was trying not to punch the siding of the house - you had seen him worked up like this countless times over your near lifelong friendship. Loyalty was both his greatest strength as well as his greatest curse. “He called you a bitch, Y/N! And a slut! In the same breath!”

Looking at him now, his hair all messed up, his shirt still unbuttoned, and face as emotional as ever, you had never been more attracted to him. You closed the gap between the two of you and grabbed his face between your hands, “Thank you for trying to protect me, but I’d much rather be a bitch and a slut if it meant you weren’t pulverized by Bigfoot.”

At the feeling of your touch, his whole demeanor changed. You saw him swallow and take a breath, “Yeah, uh, well. You know. I’ll always protect you, Y/N. That’s what I’m here for, ya know. I live to serve and protect you know,” chuckling half-heartedly as he tapped the badge on his chest. 

You tried to laugh along with him, but you were too busy staring from his lips to his eyes and focusing on the dizzying feeling of being so close to him. He made no effort to move out of your personal space and having him here, his back against the siding of the house, your hands on his strong jaw, you felt like maybe now was the time to bring up what you had been feeling these last couple of months. But before you could open your mouth to spill your guts, something in him snapped and he sprung forward at you. 

Suddenly, your hands were in his hair and his hands were on your waist and now you were the one with your back against the giant brick building, the bricks scratching deliciously against your exposed skin. You whined against his lips as he pressed against you, the sound apparently shocking him out of his trance because just as suddenly as it had started, he was pulling away, leaving you completely dazed, lips still half puckered as your eyes fluttered open. 

He was back to pacing, not daring to look at you. “God that was fucking stupid, I’m so sorry Y/N. You were just yelled at by some heavyweight douchebag and all I could do was not throw a punch and then I just had to go and kiss you like a fucking jackass,” he paused his pacing and looked at you, his face all screwed up with guilt, “I’m so fucking sorry.”

For a moment you considered the situation and didn’t move a muscle or say a word but then you just laughed. An eruption of manic giggles fell from your lips as you watched him go from guilt to confusion. “You’re a real fucking idiot you know that,” you managed to spit out between laughs.

“I mean, yeah, jackass, idiot...they’re one in the same I guess,” he seemed hurt by your words so you stepped closer to him again.

“No, God, shut up. You’re not a jackass. But you are an idiot. I don’t care that you kissed me,” you paused, “That’s not true. I care a lot, actually, because I loved it and I wish you wouldn’t have stopped because I was really starting to get into it after the, like, 12 longest, most torturous years of build up ever.”

He couldn’t believe the words you were saying, “Wait...so you- you like me?”

“What, you think I come to the frat parties for the mystery booze and trap music?”

Now it was his turn to laugh, his face completely breaking open in elation, “And to think I just assumed you were a party girl...turns out I’m just irresistible.”

“Oh shut up,” you sighed as you slammed your mouth against his again, pulling him down to your height. Once again his hands found their firm grip on your hips, holding on for dear life. 

And then he pulled away again.

“Stop fucking doing that. Kiss now talk later,” you tried to lean back in.

“No, uh, I just,” he cleared his throat, “I was just wondering if you wanted to take this inside maybe?”

You smiled up at him before kissing up his neck and whispering in his ear, “Whatever you want.”

He shivered and groaned, breaking away from you, grabbing your hand and leading you back inside. You weren’t sure where he was taking you because, since he was a freshman, he didn’t live at the frat house or anything so it’s not like he had a bedroom. Not that it mattered. He could take you to a damn broom closet for all you cared. But he didn’t take you to a closet or even a vacant bathroom. You maneuvered around the sweaty crowd of people until you were back at the front of the house but this time going up the staircase where all the upperclassmen lived. 

“JJ what are we doing up here…” You asked with a slight edge of concern in your voice. 

His face was full of mischief as he looked back at you, smirk plastered across his lips. “Don’t worry about it baby, I’m just trying to find us somewhere a little more comfortable.” And with a wink, he was turning the knob on a door that definitely didn’t belong to him.

As far as frat boys went, you imagined this was a relatively well kept room. There were still some pizza boxes stacked on top of the desk and clothes spilling out of the closet but, all in all, it didn’t look infested or anything. 

“JJ, who’s room is this?” You asked as you saw him lock the door behind you. 

“Bigfoot’s,” he said with that same smirk on his face, complete and total pride practically bursting his seams. 

Your mouth dropped as you looked at him incredulously. JJ was always one for pranks and revenge, but this floored you. 

“You’re gonna get yourself killed,” You said in awe as he made his way back over to you.

“Maybe, but damn. What a way to go.” 

Then he was kissing you once more, but this time he had guided you back towards the bed and you were laying underneath him, his body hot and hard against yours, making it hard to breathe. His hands ventured from your hips to your hair and back down again, making sure to give your tits a squeeze on the way back down, pushing them back behind you to guide your ass up so he could get as close to you as possible. You were back to your gasping and whining as you felt the effect you had had on him through his pants, grinding against him in desperation. 

“Fuck you’re so fucking sexy, Y/N,” he moaned against your neck, leaving the slightest of nips along your jaw between kisses. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this or how many times I’ve thought of you exactly like this.”

“You can have me anyway you want. I’m yours,” You weren’t really thinking about what you were saying before the words left your mouth, but it didn’t make them any less true. 

He growled against your neck and grabbed you again, scooting you up towards the top of the mattress. His hands found yours wrapped around his neck and took them in his hands, pushing them above your head. 

“Anyway I want, huh?” He was sitting on his heels, looking down at you with hooded eyes. All you could do was nod. “Well, I do have these handcuffs, and it’d be a shame for them to go to waste.” You moaned at the implication and watched him unhook them from his shorts and attached them to your wrists, wrapping them around a bar of the headboard. “Told you they were fully functional,” he ended with a wink.

All you could do was whimper as he bent back down to kiss your lips and then your neck, taking a pit stop at your chest to move the cups of your bra aside enough for him to give plenty of kisses there as well, until he was finally trailing his tongue down your stomach. He looked up at you as he reached the waistband of your skirt. You nodded, “Please,” not even being mentally present enough to care about how desperate you sounded. 

“So polite,” he muttered as he pulled your skirt and panties down in one fluid motion, leaving you completely bare to him. “So damn beautiful.”

Then he was on you like a starved man. JJ had always been popular amongst the ladies on the island and while you always assumed his looks and bad boy nature had been enough to seal the deal, you now know why they kept coming back. He was a fucking machine. Between the way his fingers fucked you skillfully, knowing exactly where your g-spot was on the first try, and the masterful way he used his tongue on your clit, it was no wonder he had a body count in the double digits. You felt yourself catapult towards the finish line at an embarrassing speed. All you wanted as to grab onto his hair and grind yourself against his face. You were so close when he took his mouth off you and replaced it with his thumb, his fingers keeping their pace inside of you.

“That’s right baby, scream my fucking name. Maybe he’ll hear you from downstairs. He told me to control my bitch but I’m not quite sure this was what he meant.” He crawled back up your body, one hand bracing himself beside your face and the other inching you closer and closer with every second, “You look so fucking pretty, getting fucked by my fingers, Y/N. You’re so wet for me already and I know you want to cum. So just do it baby, cum for me.” You did not need to be told twice because suddenly your legs were clamped shut, and your body was arching so far off the bed that your wrists felt like they might break against the handcuffs. He kissed your neck as you came down, whispering sweet little praises in your ear. “That was so hot.” You smiled weakly as he looked at you from above.

“Please let me touch you,” You whined as you struggled against the handcuffs, desperate to get your hands on him. 

“God, yes, be my guest,” He laughed as he went to undo your handcuffs, kissing your wrists as he pulled them away. “Sorry, I guess I didn’t think about how these might hurt.”

“It was worth it,” You smirked as you grabbed his face, pulling him down to kiss you and then immediately pushing him onto his back. 

You mimicked his style from earlier, starting with the lips and moving down the neck before making your way slowly towards the waistband of his shorts. You unzipped his shorts as his hands went to your hair, making a makeshift ponytail. You both worked together to shimmy off his bottoms until you were face to face with him.

Immediately, you took him into your hand and marveled at the size of him and the way he instantly moaned and threw his hand back as you started to pump him. Needing more of those noises, you wasted no time in licking up his length and taking him into your mouth. He helped you set a pace by guiding your head with his hand in your hair, profanities falling out of his mouth. “You take my cock so good, baby. Your pretty fucking lips...driving me fucking crazy…”

He started shallowly pumping into your mouth before pulling out just when you felt like you were starting to get good. “You’re fucking amazing princess, but unless you don’t want me to fuck you we’re gonna have to try that again some other time.”

You moved your way back up his body, this time fully straddling him. “I’m an angel, not a princess.”

Smirking yet again, he grabbed your hips and grinded you against the length of him, “Sorry, but last time I checked angels don’t spend a lot of time taking dick in their mouths.”

“Well in that case I can just head out if you want me too-”

He flipped you over again before you could finish your teasing, “You’re not going anywhere.” And then his lips were back on you and his hands were everywhere all at once, guiding your legs to take their place at the side of his waist. Before long he was lining himself up at your entrance, teasing you against your clit, before he finally plunged into you hard and fast. You were still so worked out from his previous work that you didn’t need time to adjust, instead just able to focus on the feeling of him filling you completely. Before long you had your legs stretched over his shoulders, giving him even better access inside of you, making you scream his name over and over again as you felt yourself start to clench and flutter. 

“Your pussy is so fucking amazing, Y/N. So wet and tight for me. God you take it so good,” His eyes were screwed shut as he was trying so hard to focus on making you finish before he lost it. “Such a good girl for me, sucking my dick and fucking me like that. Oh, fuck.”

He leaned back, holding your legs in front of him, and started pounding you even harder. You grabbed a hold of the sheets next to you and screamed so hard your voice cracked in your throat as you came for the second time. You barely noticed him finishing after you, too far gone in your own bliss. When your soul came back to your body he was falling onto the mattress beside you and wrapping you up in his arms, both of you still panting. 

His hands found your hair as you rested your cheek against his chest, his heartbeat hard and loud in your ears. He lent down to kiss the crown of your head and he sighed against it. “Holy shit.”

“Yeah, holy shit is right,” You laughed as you rested your chin on his chest so you could look at him, “Well that was fun.”

“I don’t think fun really begins to describe it. I’d go with life changing.”

“Life changing? Wow, I’m honored. I think we should write Bigfoot a thank you letter for making this happen.”

JJ scoffed, “Pssh that guy? No thank you. No one gets to call my girl a slut and get a damn thank you note out of it. I don’t care how good the sex is after.”

You smile slightly and your voice softens, “Your girl?”

He looks down at you with a smile mirroring yours, his one little dimple making your stomach do backflips and his fingers tracing shapes on your back, “I mean yeah, I guess beating around the bush is a lost cause at this point. Is that ok with you?”

You laid your head back on his chest, reveling in the gentle way his fingertips were barely touching you, “That’s more than ok.”

Trying not to seem overeager he cleared his throat, “Cool.”

Laughing to yourself you responded, “Yeah. Cool.”

Unable to help himself he scooped you up in his arms tighter and pulled you even closer, his head resting in your neck trying to hide his smile. Your fingers danced along his scalp and you smiled to yourself. Yeah, you could get used to this.

[spaceskam]

a little follow up to this for @skrtl ❤️️

ao3

warning: literally just talking about mental health

Michael watched Alex through the open door of the bathroom.

As mentally drained as he felt, Alex’s bed was his sanctuary and watching him get ready from the safety of it was something too lovely to apply words too. It replaced all the bad thoughts in his mind if only for a moment.

Things between them were slow moving, but he didn’t mind. Alex was still going to therapy and Michael had decided to do the next best thing with joining AA and a queer support group. He had to hide some truths, but talking about things even in a slightly altered way helped. 

Maybe he couldn’t talk about Max dying, but he could talk about the shed. Maybe he couldn’t talk about being an alien, but he could talk about being different and having to hide. He could talk about being exposed to drugs and alcohol at a young age and using them to numb his mind to the abuse, even if he couldn’t be specific by saying acetone. He hadn’t even realized how fucked up he still was over his childhood until he had to talk about it.

Alex was proud of him though. That was nice.

Alex moved towards the bed slowly, leaning heavily on his crutches with the weight of the bullshit on his mind. Today was his first day back to work because apparently even a mental break could be swept under Uncle Sam’s stripes-and-stars rug if he needed you enough. And Alex was needed.

“Show me you can handle it,” his superior had said, “And we’ll talk about a promotion.” Even Michael couldn’t deny that Major Alexander Manes had a nice ring to it.

Michael made space for Alex to fall into bed and felt a smile tug at his lips as Alex fell face forward into the pillow. His eyes dragged over Alex’s bare back and visibly saw his muscles relaxing out of sheer force of will. The dip of his back led to the hem of slightly-tattered Air Force sweats that he hadn’t even bothered to tie off beneath his leg. Cautiously, Michael reached out and tucked his hair behind his ear, revealing Alex’s eye that was peeking out from the pillow.

“Hi,” Michael said, voice hoarse for no reason. He cleared his throat and Alex shifted slightly to face him.

“Hi,” he said back, “How was your day?”

“Long.”

“Same.”

Michael ran his fingers through his hair again, trying to get his fix of feeling it because he knew he would probably be forced to get it all chopped off soon. Alex yawned, covering his mouth with the back of his hand. When his eyes watered in response, Michael wiped those not-quite tears away too.

“How was it?” Michael asked, eager to hear more. The one thing they both were having to work on was not only making sure they themselves talked, but making sure the other person talked. Sometimes it seemed like poking a bear, but it was always worth it. Communication was key or some shit.

“Well, most of it was the Colonel making me follow him around all day. He basically wants to babysit me until he’s sure I can handle it or whatever,” Alex explained. Michael furrowed his eyebrows.

“But didn’t the General say you were good to go?” Michael asked. Alex rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, but there’s talk that I only passed the psych eval because he pulled some strings. Which isn’t that much of a stretch, I get it. But I’d rather not be babysat,” he said. Michael understood that more than a little.

“Tell him to fuck off.”

Alex huffed a laugh, “Guerin, he’s my superior, I can’t do that.”

“See, this is why I could never be in the military,” Michael stated. Alex shook his head.

“There’s a lot of reasons why a lot of people couldn’t or shouldn’t join the military. I mean, the whole system is fucked so that’s why we have people that shouldn’t be there, but I’m lucky. I’m in a position where my worst situation is being babysat by some white guy who thinks he’s better than me,” Alex said, shrugging slightly, “Could be worse.”

“I guess,” Michael sighed, “I just still don’t get why they want you to stick around so bad.” Alex gave him a small smile and then tapped his temple.

“Got my dad’s secrets and the General knows that,” he said softly, “There’s a good chance if I try to get out, something bad would happen to make sure I keep my mouth shut.”

Michael’s stomach dropped and his body tensed. Alex had said the words so nonchalantly, but they didn’t feel nonchalant.

“Alex, that’s not funny.”

“It wasn’t a joke,” Alex huffed a laugh despite it not being funny, “Wouldn’t be the first guy to mysteriously go missing because they knew too much.”

Michael kept staring at him and tried to find the best way to explain how much destruction he would cause if that happened. It did, however, successfully distract him from his own personal stress of the day. Alex disappearing was the most terrifying thing in the world. Especially now when they were getting better. 

“Okay, throwing that topic away, I’m not being serious,” Alex said, but Michael could hear that it was nothing more than a comforting lie. Still, he let Alex scoot closer and tap him on the nose to lighten the mood. “Tell me about your day.”

“Um,” Michael said, trying to think about anything but the shitty situation Alex was stuck in, “I was talking to, uh, my sponsor at AA and she asked if I wanted to come to this all boy’s group home and talk.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, when I said that I didn’t really have a success story to tell, she said was like, ‘what the fuck are you talking about, you have a job and a place to live, that’s a success story’ and, I don’t know, made me feel weird,” Michael admitted. Alex smiled.

“I don’t know her, but I like her,” he said. Michael rolled his eyes, but his smile matched Alex’s.

“Yeah, she was saying it would also probably help me because those kids get what I went through specifically,” he said, “I just feel stupid for having so many different issues that need so many specific things.”

“I get that, I felt like that too,” Alex explained, “My therapist back when I was admitted said that they tend to go hand in hand, though, which is just a shitty thing that happens. Like it’s all your life and so things are going to be intertwined and so if one big bad thing happens, there’s probably something else that’s bad that fucks you up that only happened because of the bad thing that happened before. It’s a big cycle that you have to break even if you didn’t start it.”

“So basically I’m fucked.”

“No,” Alex laughed, “We just got dealt shitty hands, but we’re not alone in it. You’re not the only person that has dealt with all of these things. Statistically impossible.”

“I’m probably the only one who dealt with all of those things while also being an alien.”

“You don’t know that either,” Alex said boldly. Michael took a deep breath and nodded.

“So what I’m hearing is you think I should go talk to those kids,” Michael said. Alex nodded with that sweet little smile.

“It’d be good for you.”

“Maybe,” Michael agreed, staring at him for a few seconds longer. He was so pretty. “Positive thing. Go.”

Alex snorted and rolled his eyes, but scooted closer because he could. They were almost nose to nose. For a moment, Michael thought about kissing him. Then he quickly threw that thought in the trash because they still had a long way to go before they did something more than just sharing a bed for comfort.

“Um,” Alex hummed, his fingers reaching out and tapping a little rhythm against Michael’s hip over the blanket, “Oh, you know what, Kyle and Forrest brought me lunch. Did you know they’re, like, weirdly good friends now? Anyway, it was from that new sushi place downtown. It was pretty good, we’ll have to go there sometime.”

“Yeah, we should,” Michael agreed even though he never really had sushi before with the exception of that one time Isobel force fed him sushi and he threw it up in the parking lot of the Wild Pony. But he would eat sushi again if Alex liked it.

“Your turn, positive thing.”

“Uh,” he said, taking a deep breath, “I don’t know. Does that one lady who comes all the time because she drives for Uber and always brings me coffee coming with coffee count?”

“Did it make you happy?”

“Yeah.”

“Then of course it counts.”

“Okay, then her.”

“Was it good coffee?” Alex prodded. Michael offered a little laugh.

“Yeah, it was good,” he said. Alex hummed sweetly, leaning in just a bit to bump their noses together which gave Michael more dopamine than he could actually comprehend. “But I think my main positive thing is right now, being with you.” Alex rolled his eyes. “I’m serious.”

“You keep complimenting me and I might start thinking you like me,” Alex teased. Michael laughed softly and just smiled at this man who he really didn’t feel like he deserved. Which, in itself, was a problem. He did deserve Alex. As long as he was trying to get better and be better for him, he deserved him. Thinking he didn’t would only lead to bad things. “We need to go to sleep, I’ve gotta get up early.”

“Okay,” Michael complied, still feeling much better than he had for most of the day just being with him.

Alex moved up to kiss his forehead and Michael flicked off the lights with his telekinesis.

“Goodnight, Alex.”

“Goodnight. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Yeah,” Michael agreed, “I’ll see you in the morning.”

And, still, he pulled him close and held him until he could fall asleep.

[trashforhockeyguys]

Don’t Hold Me -4- Carter Hart

A/N: As always all previous parts are linked in my masterlist  Alrighty folks, it’s about to get going now. Hold onto your hats. It’ll be full speed ahead soon.

Your eyes peeled open. The room was too quiet. No roommate making noise, or guy trying to sneak out. The bed was too soft and big, you felt like it went on for days, compared to your tiny twin at school. That’s when you realized you weren’t in your dorm. 

You had no idea where you were. You didn’t recognize the room you were in, it wasn’t Travis’s, or even Nolan’s. You started to panic even more when you realized you weren’t in your own clothes. 

You sat up quickly, the whole room spun around you. You could hardly remember a thing about last night, much less actually leaving the party, wherever it was. Which scared you. You didn’t know where your phone was, or where you were. Or why you weren’t in your own clothes, in a strange bed. 

The panic started to set in, you needed to figure out where you were. But more importantly, how you got here. This wasn’t like you. Hell, getting black out drunk was something you did once, and you still regretted that decision and vowed never to do it again. 

You threw the covers off and started to rush out of the bedroom before you tripped over something and fell flat on your face. 

“What the fuck, Y/N?”

You flipped yourself over and scrambled away, “Carter? What the hell?”

“You stepped on me, you don’t get to be mad,” He argued, sitting up.

“How the hell did I get here? And why was I in your bed?”

“You don’t remember?”

You could feel the panic rise, surely you hadn’t done anything with Carter.  If you did anything with him you’d likely die. That was the one thing you didn’t want. 

“Relax, I picked you up because Travis called me. I brought you back here because you said you didn’t have your key. You passed out on the couch and then threw up all over yourself, so I got you to change into some fresh clothes and tucked you in, like a gentleman,” He explained.

“Why are you sleeping on the floor?”

He shrugged, “You were up and down all night, figured I’d better stay close in case you needed me to hold your hair back again.”

“You? I’m sorry, you what?”

“I held your hair back, while you threw up, multiple times. And had to force you to eat toast and drink some water.”

Your face heated up. No way did you ever want anyone to see you like that. Much less Carter. Who knows what you told him last night. You could’ve said anything and he probably wouldn’t tell you. He would just tell TK and probably laugh about whatever it was. 

You made a mistake by letting him take you, you should’ve just waited for TK to finally come for you. He would’ve come eventually. He wouldn’t have left me alone there. Ethan...oh god, your big brother. You were on the phone with him. Did he know you were okay? Did he even know what happened to you?

“Where is my phone? I need to call my brother.”

“Relax. He knows you’re fine. TK even came over to check on you last night, but you were already out of it. He offered to take you, but kinda figured it’d be best to leave you.”

“Take me? You make me sound like I’m a burden.”

He cursed and stood up. Since you were still on the floor he towered over you, making you feel like a small child. You just wished that you could disappear. You never should have left your dorm yesterday Why did you have to be so stupid? Again?

“Hey, no I didn’t mean it like that,” He replied, “It was actually nice having you here, didn’t enjoy the throwing up, but I actually got to see a little bit of that girl Travis always talks about.”

“He talks about me?”

“Yeah, him and Nolan. They always talk about how funny you are, and laid back, and how you’re kind of like one of the guys and a sister all wrapped up into one.”

He offered a hand to help you up. You reluctantly took it and followed him through the apartment. You’d never even seen his place before, but he seemed to have every curtain and blind pulled so it wasn’t overly bright. He lead you to the kitchen and pointed to a stool before going and rummaging in the fridge.

You stayed silent. You wanted to figure out just what happened last night, but you were scared to actually ask what happened. You were afraid to know. The fact that you blacked out scared you. Being out of control like that, not knowing what you’d done...that wasn’t you. 

You nearly jumped out of your own skin when he touched your shoulder a few minutes later. Without even thinking, you slid out of the bar stool and took a few steps back, needing the put distance between you two. 

“I’m sorry,” He quickly said, trying to calm you, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Just don’t… Don’t touch me.”

“Okay, back to that again. Got it,” He replied softly, “I’m not going to hurt you, Y/N.”

You hugged yourself, pulling on the sleeves of the shirt that was much too big for you. You just wanted to disappear. Become so much smaller than you were and just vanish. The way he was looking at you, it was like he saw you. The thought of it made you uncomfortable. You didn’t want to be seen. You just wanted to vanish. 

“I shouldn’t be here.” 

“Okay, I’ll get my keys and take you back. Your roommate should be back by now, it’s the afternoon.”

“No. I’d rather just walk.”

“I’m not letting you walk back to campus.” He replied, “If you don’t want to get into the car with me, that’s fine. But at least let me call TK to come get you.”

“No. I can manage just fine on my own! I don’t need anyone to babysit me!”

He groaned and turned around. He took a few steps away from where he was standing. The whole feeling in the room changed to something you couldn’t figure out. You got the feeling that he was mad at you now. 

He had no real right to be mad, he didn’t know you. This was the longest conversation you’d ever had with him, and it was because you’d likely thrown up on him the night before. You two had no obligations to one another. 

“You know, I actually liked spending time with you last night, when you weren’t calling me an asshole or throwing up.”

“Oh, so I have to be drunk for you to decide you like me?”

“No. God that’s not what I-” He rubbed his face and took a deep breath, “I don’t know what you’re so afraid of, all the time, but last night you weren’t. You were just you. Sorry that I actually enjoyed spending time with you.”

You shook your head, “You know nothing about me. Don’t act like you do.”

“And there she is again,” He laughed almost sadly, “Closed off and scared that someone might actually see you.”

You took another step back, like his words actually hit you in the chest. You hadn’t expected him to say anything like that, it almost scared you. You didn’t want this. You didn’t ask for him to question everything. You just wanted to leave, you wanted to get away. You didn’t want to be around him anymore.

“Stop acting like you know me! We aren’t friends, Carter. We just know the same people, that’s it.” 

“Wow, okay. I will go get your clothes from the dyer, and we’ll get you an uber then.”

“Perfect.”

But as he walked away, you felt like a knife was stabbing your gut. Like maybe you pushed him too far. You didn’t want anyone else, you didn’t need anyone else. But he’d taken care of you. The way he looked at you..he cared. You weren’t sure why, but he cared. 

As much as you wanted to like that, you couldn’t. The thought of someone else wanting to be a part of your life was terrifying to you. You liked having the small group that you had. Just Travis and Patty here, maybe your roommate when both of you were getting along. It was easier, safer. 

“Here, I washed them. Change or keep what you have on, I don’t care,” He dropped your clothes onto the counter, “Your phone is plugged up over there. TK will be here in five to get you.” 

“Carter, I-”

“I’m going to shower, I smell like cheap beer. Have a nice day.”

And so not even half an hour later you found yourself stomping back into your dorm, followed closely by Travis. He was trying to get you to tell him what happened. But all you wanted to do was yell at him for leaving you the way that he did. 

Your roommate was sitting at her desk, working on something for one of her classes when you threw the door open. Travis didn’t yet understand why you were angry with him, but he was about to. 

“C’mon, it’s Carter he’s harmless!”

“That’s not the point! C’mon Travis! Did you seriously think it was a good idea to leave me with someone I don’t know? Do you have any idea how scared I was when I woke up? I don’t know Carter, I don’t want to know him! And you forced us on each other!”

“It wasn’t like that! I was busy.”

“Oh yeah? With what?”

“I was just busy,” He replied. 

“You were with a girl. So you set someone I’ve talked to twice, two freaking times, pick me up when I literally couldn’t even see straight. I didn’t know where I was, or who I was. And you let him come get me, and take me back to his place. Do you understand how stupid that was?” You yelled. 

“It’s not like he was a stranger, Y/N. It’s Carter, he wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

“You’re missing the damn point Travis! You left me alone! You have no idea what could’ve happened to me but you were too busy with your whoever to care!”

“Is that what you really think? Seriously? After all these years?”

“Get out of my room.”

“Y/N-”

“Get out of my dorm Travis!”

That’s when your roommate finally got up and stepped between you. She held you behind her with one arm, while the other pushed Travis away. She’d never gotten in the middle like this before. She always just let you fight it out and deal with it on your own. 

“She said go. So I would before I call someone to make you leave,” She said calmly, “I doubt that would reflect well on the team.”

“Seriously?”

“Get out of here, she doesn’t want you here right now.”

He shook his head and took a step back, “Shut me out too, that’s okay. I’ll be here when you decide you want to talk.”

You didn’t start crying until he was gone and the door shut behind him. Twice you’d pushed too hard, and you knew it too. Travis was the best thing that ever happened to you, and you knew that. Yet you just pushed him away too. 

Before you knew what she was doing, your roommate sat you down on your bed and wrapped you up with your favorite blanket. She grabbed your little bear, that was old and ratty at this point, and put him in your arms so you could hold him. 

“It’s okay,” She told you quietly, “It’s going to be okay. I promise.”

“I went too far.”

“He’s a puppy dog, and he loves you, he’s not going to leave you behind,” She promised, “He’ll probably leave some fast food outside the door later on as a peace offering. And I’m sure that other one will talk some sense into him.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, it’s okay. I’m the one who dragged you out last night. I should’ve let you stay here.”

You shook your head and allowed her to hold onto you. For once you needed to be held. And although she wasn’t all bad, she wasn’t who you wanted to be held by. She wasn’t who you needed. But you weren’t sure if you’d ever have who you needed. Not after the way you acted. He was gone now.

[apiratewhopines]

Chapter 3 - Snow Falls

Summary: In which our heroine forges new paths

“I was just guessing at numbers and figures

Pulling the puzzles apart”

-The Scientist, Coldplay

The sunlight gently lightened the room until Emma woke with a start, her eyes frantically searching for some clue about whose bed she was in. With a groan, memories from the prior night returned and she wished she could go back to sleep.

After the doctor’s unceremonious exit, the tension broke. Liam was going to be fine and the world was right again. Graham’s shoulders relaxed, David looked like he wanted to use the opportunity to pull Mary Margaret into his arms and waltz around the room, Mary Margaret’s smile was so big that it literally brightened the gloomy light of the hospital and Killian’s jaw had unclenched. She had felt cut adrift because she thought the way his muscle twitched in his cheek was about the sexiest thing she had ever seen.

Unfortunately, a more immediate concern instantly renewed her stress. It was obvious that Liam hadn’t informed his brother of his impending arrival, much less that he was bringing company with him and Dr. Whale had pretty much told her she didn’t have to go home but she couldn’t stay there. Unless she wanted to crash in the chair in her partner’s room, she needed a place to sleep. Honestly, the chair was not really an option either since she was sure she would have to fight Killian for it.

She had decided her first priority should be to find her phone. She wasn’t normally one to be tied to an electronic device but with Henry traveling and the rest of her world off kilter, it seemed important to have a lifeline. Once she had it, she had planned to see if this town had Uber or taxi service, a hotel, and a 24 hour store since she was without wheels or any of the comforts of home and for the first time she had noticed that her clothes were bloodstained.

As it turned out, Mary Margaret took charge in a way both unexpected and jarring. Not only did the other woman have her phone, but when Emma revealed her lack of sleeping arrangements for the trip leaving Killian to awkwardly offer his extra bedroom up to her even though he wouldn’t be in residence, she had also smoothly intervened with an excuse of keeping Emma “under observation” in her guest room. Before Emma knew what was happening, she had been bundled into the other woman’s car with a promise from the deputy to drop her personal items off after they had finished processing them for evidence.

It hadn’t escaped her notice that you only needed evidence to investigate crimes, not so much for single vehicle car crashes, but she kept her questions to herself and had allowed the kindness of strangers to wash over her.

By the light of day though, she was extremely uncomfortable with the ease they all rearranged her life, albeit momentarily. Deciding the best thing to do would be to get cleaned up and go back to the hospital to check on Liam, she gingerly got out of bed. She was incredibly sore and as she moved over to the full length mirror in the corner, she lifted up her borrowed pajama top to examine the damage. The angry purple bruise covered several inches of her side and would probably last weeks. However, it was the only outward damage from the wreck other than the dark circles under her eyes from her sleepless night.

Wondering about the time, she was already reaching for her phone when it started to ring, alerting her to an incoming video call.

“Henry!” She answered, a big grin on her face and excitement in her voice.

“What’s up, Mom? Are you sleeping in?”

Her eyes scanned his face and she felt her nerves settle a little. “Yeah kid, Liam and I had an eventful night.”

“Yeah? Did you get to meet his brother? Liam told me he only has one hand, just like Captain Hook, and that he knows how to sword fight.”

The things her little boy found fascinating were a constant source of amusement for her. Although she had to admit that—in this case at least—those sorts of details would probably stick with anyone. She thought her observation of Killian the previous night had been pretty thorough but apparently she had missed some things.

For the obvious reason that ten-year-olds weren’t know for their ability to keep secrets and the likelihood of others overhearing her conversations, she had informed him of the trip nonchalantly on their last call, offering no explanation or reasons for it. And bless him, if Henry thought it was strange for her to be traveling with Liam, he didn’t question her about it. Despite the fact that she was sure Neal had some thoughts on the matter, for Henry nothing could be more natural than a road trip with a friend and Henry assumed his friends would automatically be hers.

“Yes, I did meet the famous Killian Jones,” she teased him, “but I can’t confirm his ability with a sword.” She blushed a little when she thought she heard a snicker from the first floor drift up to the open loft and was grateful that the innuendo would be lost on her son.

“Listen kid, I need to talk to you about something. Is your dad around?” She didn’t want to alarm him and she would feel better knowing Neal was close if the news upset him.

“Yeah, hold on a minute.” The camera moved away from his face as he ran over to wherever Neal was, the bouncy motion of the camera only making her a little sick. “Okay, he’s here.”

Neal’s smile and jaunty wave filled the camera view for a second before he took the phone from Henry and adjusted the angle so she could see them both. “Hey Emma, having a nice trip?”

“Actually, that’s what I wanted to talk about. We were in a little accident last night,” she started, keeping her attention on Henry and watching for his reaction.

“Crap, are you okay?” Neal said as Henry eyes started to cloud over.

“Yes, I’m totally fine,” she rushed to assure them, making sure she kept a big smile on her face. What she wouldn’t give to be there with Henry. For the thousandth time, she regretted her decision to spend a summer apart. “Liam is fine too, Henry. His arm is hurt but he’s going to be back to normal by the time you see him again.”

“Are you sure?” Henry looked hopeful but his voice was small. “He promised he would teach me how to play cricket.”

“Completely sure, kid,” she said. Thankfully he took the news pretty well but she wondered how he had managed to exact that promise from Liam. She knew that they had talks when Henry came to the office after school the one day a week she usually stayed late to do research or complete paperwork. There was only so much homework and video games he could tolerate before he wanted to be up and moving around. Once Liam told her he wasn’t disturbed by the interruption, she let Henry visit next door. She knew he indulged her son’s rampant curiosity but hadn’t realized Liam had taken him under his wing and might actually look forward their interactions. It made her feel a little guilty for giving the man such a hard time, all the time.

Taking her word for the matter, Henry moved on with nary another thought. He told her a little about what they had planned for their day of sightseeing and then announced he had to eat his breakfast and left the frame. Neal shouted a reminder that he was to eat cereal, not his favorite pop tarts, before turning his attention back to her. “Do we need to cut our trip short, Emma? We can come to you if you need us.”

God, she was tempted to tell him that she did need them to come back. She tamped down the selfish urge and said, “No, I really am fine. You guys deserve this time together.”

“Thank you,” he said and she knew he wasn’t only referencing their current situation. “I’ll have him call again tomorrow to check on you if you want.”

“That would be great.”

They said their goodbyes but she didn’t move for several minutes. Sitting on the bed, she tried to reroute her thoughts into some kind of plan for the day. Clothes were a must because while Mary Margaret’s things worked in a pinch, she couldn’t spend all day in them.

“Emma,” came the tentative voice of her host from below, “you have a visitor.”

Popping her head over the bannister, Emma looked down and the mop of dark hair let her know that her visitor was of the Jones variety. With a grimace, she checked out her reflection again. She looked like an overgrown child in the pajama shorts that were covered in bright red flowers and showed a little more leg than was probably appropriate, especially since they were topped off with a matching shirt that had ruffles at the sleeves. Add to that the fact that her hair had taken on a wild, rumpled look since she went to bed with it wet after a hasty shower to rinse off the worst of the night and she considered just carrying on the conversation from the loft. What she wouldn’t give for swipe of mascara and a little concealer for her eyes.

Making her way slowly down the steep steps, her foot barely touched the wooden floor of the living room when he asked, “Alright there, Swan?”

She wasn’t sure what she had been expecting but the cheerful friendliness of his voice and the crooked smile was a definite improvement over the shocked awkwardness and confusion of last night. His eyes still followed her movements with an emotion she couldn’t quite decipher. But that could be because she was shy about meeting his gaze, probably stemming from how gorgeous she found him and not wanting to make a fool of herself.

“He brought breakfast,” Mary Margaret gushed, pushing a box of pastries towards her. “I’m going to get ready while you two catch up.”

They both watched her step into the bathroom. When Emma heard the shower start, knowing that was about as much privacy as they could expect in the open floor plan space, she reached for a bear claw. “Thanks, these are my favorites.”

“Least I could do,” he responded, as much at a loss as she was apparently. He kept staring at her and it was starting to get unnerving.

“How’s Liam this morning?” Glancing over at the clock on the microwave, she amended, “Or afternoon rather.”

“He woke up for a few minutes and was his normal pleasant self,” Killian reported.

As she sat down, she imagined how grumpy her partner would have been having all his carefully laid plans ruined before they had ever been set in motion. It did explain why his brother seemed in a better mood though.

“He was concerned about your welfare, love. Gave me a quite an earful when he found out I had sent you out into the world with only Mary Margaret for protection while I kept vigil at his bedside. He’s sleeping again now so I decided it was time for us to have a little chat.”

Deciding to focus on the least troubling part of his statement, namely the implication that the only hospital volunteer in history who took work home with her wasn’t a force to be reckoned with, she said in a thoughtful tone, “I wouldn’t bet against her.”

When he didn’t pick up the thread of conversation, she reached for another pastry. It felt like he trying to wait her out, letting the silence that stretched between them drive her to reveal all her secrets.

Just when things were getting truly uncomfortable and she started to pray for Mary Margaret to finish her damn shower soon, he caved. “I apologize for last night. I’m afraid I didn’t make the best first impression and maybe I’m not doing much better today since I neglected to ask how you are feeling.”

“Well, your brother deserves some of the blame for the disaster that was our first meeting,” she conceded lightly. “If I had known we were dropping by unannounced in the dead of night, he would have gotten an earful of his own. I should have known better than to think he would have communicated like a normal human being.”

He was looking at her again with that weird far-off expression. Her skin tingled from his nearness and she tried to ignore that his body had leaned closer to hers.

Rushing to steer the conversation away from dangerous areas and wanting to put some distance between them, she jumped up. Walking over to the fridge to see if there was any milk, she called over her shoulder, “I am much better today. Looking forward to getting my stuff back and maybe finding a permanent place to stay. Unless you want to trade out the chair in Liam’s room.”

“Sorry love, brother’s prerogative.” He tensed as if he was expecting her to call on some privilege of her own. Any good will Liam had gained for his treatment of her son was lost as she fumed about his indifference to the feelings of his own brother. When she remained quiet, he added, “You’re welcome to stay at my place though. After all, if Liam brought you home, you must practically be family and you’ll end up there anyway when they release him. You are most welcome. I’m sorry I didn’t make that clear last night.”

She wondered how long they could both dance around the topic without addressing the elephant in the room. She knew he was baffled about her sudden appearance in his brother’s life and out of everyone in this town, he had the most right to ask about it. She wasn’t sure she would be able to make it through the next couple of weeks without lying to him at some point but she wasn’t going to jump in with guns blazing so she would keep circling until he questioned her directly.

“Fine.” She took her time pouring her milk and when he shook his head at her silent offer to get some for him as well, she put the carton back and took up a position across the island from him. “If you don’t mind me staying there without you, I’ll take you up on it.”

Mary Margaret joined them before any other details could be sorted and the other woman’s disappointed face at losing her house guest so soon reminded Emma of when Henry was younger and pleas for more cookies went unheeded. Emma gratefully accepted her freshly laundered jeans that the woman had somehow managed to find time to clean, waving off her apology for not being able to salvage the shirt. Instead, she found a crisp, white linen tank that she was informed was a gift to welcome her to town.

She felt like a new woman coming downstairs in clean clothes and with several hours of sleep. Swearing on her honor to meet up with her hostess for lunch that weekend and awkwardly accepting her hug goodbye, she followed Killian down to his pickup truck without another word. He held her door as she climbed into the passenger side before making his way around the front and taking his own seat.

“I await your orders, Swan. Where to first?”

“If you think Liam will be resting for awhile, can we go by the station and pick up my stuff?” Luckily, Mary Margaret had provided a toothbrush last night but it would be nice to have the rest of her things. She had to suppress a chuckle at the thought that the deputy, David if she remembered correctly, would probably begrudge her the missed opportunity of making a visit to a certain brunette’s apartment.

Even though he kept his eyes on the road, somehow he picked up on her change in mood and asked, “Something tickled your fancy?”

“What’s her story?”

“Mary Margaret?”

“Yeah. Does she always pick up strays and bring them back to her apartment? I could have robbed her blind. It’s not safe to trust people like that,” she rambled as she took in the businesses that lined Main Street.

“I wouldn’t call you a stray and you don’t strike me as a thief,” he commented.

“You don’t know me,” Emma said darkly. She had been called that and far worse too many times and his casual observation caused her to stiffen in her seat. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him stiffen a bit too but she was distracted by the sign for the pawnshop they just passed. The closed sign hung askew in the front window and all the lights were off even though it was the middle of the day.

“I’d like to know you, Swan. In case you didn’t notice—bringing breakfast, my sparkling conversation, the dashing rescue from having to stay another night in Mary Margaret’s loft, which apparently you viewed as a fate worse than death—all my little ways of trying to get to know you.”

His exasperation struck her as funny. He was more dramatic than his brother and as much as she planned to struggle against and deny her attraction to him, she thought she might end up actually liking him. He pulled off the street into a parking lot and faced her. “Furthermore, Miss Swan, you’re the one who went home with her so perhaps you should have followed your own advice. Maybe she’s a serial killer and she lures her victims in with kindness. Or maybe deep down you know there are good people in this world and it’s better to trust, to risk the occasional mistake, than to hide behind walls.”

Well. She wanted to take offense but she was too stunned at the fact that Killian Jones truly saw her. And maybe through her. How he had figured her out so fast, she wasn’t sure. She felt exposed and, even more chilling, she felt understood. It was exciting and dangerous. Eyes wide, she twisted to face him and licked the corner of her mouth nervously. His focus shifted to her lips. It was getting warm, and not only because of this unexpected turn in their discussion. It was summer and they were sitting in direct sun. That was her story and she was sticking to it.

Smirking at her own reaction more than his, she asked, “Are you finished?”

“For now,” he said softly and it sounded like a vow wrapped in a threat. He faced the front again and turned off the truck. The muscle spasm in his cheek was back and she was a little ashamed at how much she had missed it.

“Great. Consider me suitably chastised. Good to know that sanctimonious speeches are a Jones family trait,” she said with a genuine smile before kicking open the door and leaving him behind.

—

It was more of a battle to get her personal belonging than it should have been. Luckily David showed up halfway through her argument with the man on duty and signed off on the release of all but one of their bags. Killian had brooded for a few minutes but eventually followed her into the station and helped carry the bags first to the truck and then into his place when they reached it.

She hadn’t had time to think about what his home would look like but the oceanfront cottage was much nicer than she would have pictured if she had tried. It occurred to her that while she knew he had a affair about a decade ago, that he could sword fight, that he had the most expressive face she had ever encountered, and apparently could read her like a book, she really didn’t know that much about him. Like what he did for a living that allowed him to afford a place like this.

In what she thought was a sage decision, she had backed off after their run-in or she would have given into her interest and asked him. He had been subdued during the ride and as a person who liked to lick her wounds in private she knew when she met a like soul so she kept things light. Complimenting the view and the peaceful color scheme of creams and blues, she took only long enough to drop her bag in the guest room before swiftly exiting his space and walking back to the truck.

He seemed a bit more like his earlier self by the time they reached the hospital. He offered to pick up some coffee from the cafeteria for them, probably thinking she’d want some time alone with Liam.

It was with some surprise that she found that Liam already had a visitor, although it appeared he was asleep and may not be aware of it. Emma heard a sniffle and saw the woman’s shoulders shaking and immediately tried to back out of the room to give them some time. It was a sound plan until she caught her injured side on the door handle with a loud crack and couldn’t stop herself from dancing around a little bit and whispering in hissed pain, “Crap! Crap! That really hurts!”

The woman came to her feet in one fluid motion, wiping at her tears with the back of her hand and looking embarrassed. She was beyond beautiful, her long white blonde hair cascading in loose waves down her back and wearing sky blue scrubs that looked like a ball gown on her. And unlike Emma, she was able to cry without looking like a complete wreck for the rest of the day.

“I’m sorry—“ they said at the exact same moment and then they both chuckled quietly, intent on not disturbing the patient. Emma took a deep breath, trying to work the pain out from the inside. It made her want to punch something because it hurt so bad. Refusing to give into it, she continued drawing air in and out slowly.

Once the stars that had sparked around her faded, she thought it safe to try to introduce herself. “Emma Swan.”

Before the other woman could reply, she heard Killian behind her. “Elsa, I would have brought you a coffee if I had known you were here.”

He moved past her and placed a quick kiss on Elsa’s cheek and offered her his cup. So, clearly a friend of the family Emma gathered. Move along, nothing to see here. Except she was pretty sure that crying at the bedside of an unconscious man was some next level stuff. Internally, she cursed Liam and his sneaky secrets.

“Oh I’m fine, Killian, I had a little break in my day and decided to check up on my newest patient,” she explained nervously, as if she owed Emma a reason for her visit.

Trying to ease some of the woman’s tension, she smiled kindly and guessed, “Are you a doctor here?”

“Physical therapist,” Elsa explained with a grin of her own and Emma was once again struck by how beautiful the woman was as she moved to stand next to her. If the physical therapy thing didn’t work out for her, she could be a model or a queen or a goddess.

“Liam will be in good hands then,” she replied, and then wondered if she said something wrong with the way both Killian and Elsa shuffled uncomfortably. Seriously, what the hell was the story here.

“Yes. Well, I should get going,” Elsa admitted, eyes not quite meeting Emma’s stare. Her smile for Killian was more natural though. She left quickly, a less graceful person than her would have been accused of trotting out of the room.

Blowing out the breath she hadn’t realized she was holding, Emma looked over at Killian with a raised eyebrow. He was busy scratching behind his ear, a mannerism that made him look like a guilty toddler.

“I guess Liam told you about Elsa.” His gruffness showed he resented the situation his brother had put him in.

You and me both, Emma wanted to say. Considering she was reasonably certain that the ‘difficult circumstance’ Liam had mentioned during the road trip had just walked out the door as if the hounds of hell were at her feet, she didn’t think it was a lie when she said, “Of course.”

Because the fact was, calling what had evidently been a serious relationship a ‘difficult circumstance’ was probably as close as Liam would come to baring his soul anyway.

His shoulders relaxed knowing he wouldn’t be the one to break the news. Assessing her mood, he added in a disbelieving tone, “I assume by your peaceful air that you have no issues with Elsa, the love of his life, taking care of him during his convalescence?”

“Those weren’t quite the words he used when we talked,” she confessed, hating that she felt like she should be the one apologizing about this mess.

“He wouldn’t have with you, would he?” He looked chagrined, as if he suddenly realized that referring to another woman as the love of his brother’s life may have offended her.

“Not sure what you mean but to answer your question, I have no problem with Elsa doing her job.” There. Perhaps not the whole truth but she was getting better at skirting the lies. “We’re all grown-ups here, aren’t we, Jones?”

In a moment of blinding honesty, Killian said with a touch of awe, “I’m not sure what to make of you, Swan.”

“Good,” she laughed, the sound becoming a peace offering between them and allowing the rest of the afternoon to pass without any tension.

[artificialqueens]

A Vampire in Paris: Part 3 (Gigi/Crystal) - Chae

A/N: well this took ten times longer than i expected… so sorry for the wait! (was anyone waiting? idk) hopefully I can update this at LEAST once a week for now ee. anyway thank you all so much for the support on the first two chapters, i’m so glad people enjoy my wacky fashion-vampire fantasy

Summary:  Gigi has an… interesting encounter with the supermodel trio and makes some big changes with Crystal

—-

Well, this was a situation.

Gigi broke out into a slight sweat as Aquaria, Naomi, and Valentina peered right into her soul at the cafe. She smiled awkwardly as she took a sip of water, seemingly the only one who actually drank… or ate. And she was eating a salad! In Paris! What the fuck were they looking at her like that for?!

The youngest model was still tired from the previous night, trying to push down her discomfort with happy thoughts of kissing Crystal. The ginger had tried desperately to look her best for her lunch date with the supermodels, shocked that they still didn’t seem impressed. After a long bout of silence as the three older girls eyed Gigi eating, Valentina piped up across from her.

“Gigi… what’s that short for?”

The aforementioned girl swallowed a lettuce leaf. “Genevieve. Genevieve Regina Goode.”

“That sounds like a movie character,” the tan beauty laughed. “I like your name.”

“Thanks. How did you get Valentina?”

“What do you mean? That’s just my name.”

“Oh,” Gigi cringed internally.”What’s your last name?”

“Hm, it’s been so long I don’t remember,” the girl smiled dopily as Aquaria slapped her arm next to her, annoyed. Gigi raised an eyebrow and Aquaria smiled fakely.

“We don’t really use our last names, except for Naomi because hers is easy,” the blonde said through her teeth, glaring at Valentina. The latter looked, confused, between Gigi and Aquaria. From next to her, Gigi could sense Naomi giving Valentina a look as well. 

“Oh!” She finally said, her face contorting into realization. “Yeah, we don’t use them,” the latina nodded. 

Gigi looked down, feeling as if she’d stumbled onto something she shouldn’t have—which was exactly what she wanted. Maybe she should press further…

“Why haven’t you guys eaten? These salads have a lot of good vitamins and stuff. I know we’re pressured into being like a size-negative-ten but what you ordere-”

“We already ate,” Naomi interrupted. “And if you feel self-conscious, sweets, don’t. Salads are good for you.”

“And you won’t have to worry about it much longer,” Valentina added earnestly. However, her kind… sentiment (?)… was not appreciated by the other two.

“Oh my god, shut up!” Aquaria whacked her on the back of the head. “You wanna get fired or something?!”

“I’m sorry guys,” Gigi tried to stop the drama. “I didn’t mean to intrude on whatever is happening-”

“No, no no! It’s not your fault,” Naomi explained, placing a freezing cold hand on Gigi’s shoulder. “It’s just that Valentina…”

“Valentina doesn’t know what she’s talking about, doll,” Aquaria smiled.

“Guuuuys I’m sorry!” Valentina whined. “I just keep forgetting she’s not a va-”

“Member of our team!” Aquaria shouted. “She’s not a member of our team,” the Italian jerked her head to the side, leaning towards Valentina and whispering something in her ear. The brunette’s eyebrows curved upwards as she whispered frantic sorries to her friend, who appeared absolutely venomous. Naomi rolled her eyes.

“We should head out and do some shopping, no? Maybe Val will be distracted by all the shiny things,” Naomi got up, rifling through her small purse for cash. Gigi nodded, just wanting to get out of this situation as soon as she could.

Soon enough, they were browsing at a beauty store—and yes, Valentina was distracted by the sparkly eyeshadows (go figure). Gigi wandered away from her ‘friends’ to the hair section, nearly passing by the dyes before a thought popped into her head. She grabbed two boxes of color and a toner off the shelf and smiled, paying for her items before finding the rest of the group. 

“Bought stuff already?” Aquaria looked at Gigi’s bag quizzically.

“It’s not makeup or anything, just had to restock,” the redhead lied.

“Oh, nice,” the blonde turned back to the lipstick she was trying on. Gigi filled the silent air by perusing the makeup counters, trying to not look too interested.

Naomi was texting someone with a coy smile plastered on her face, causing Gigi to remember something else odd she hadn’t addressed yet. 

“Aquaria?” She asked.

“Hm?”

“How did you get my number? I never found out.”

“Right. I asked Adore.”

“Adore doesn’t have my number…”

“Adore has everyone’s number,” she snapped, clearly looking annoyed. Gigi shrunk back and bit her lip. “The bitch has her ways,” Aquaria added.

“Can’t Fame access everyone’s data n’ stuff?” Valentina said offhandedly.

“What? Fame? Like Miss Fame?”

“Valentina, I’m going to rip your head off and smash it with my stiletto,” Aquaria threatened. 

“I thought Fame was… dead?” Gigi pressed.

“She is.”

“She is.”

Both Naomi and Aquaria looked the new model dead in the eyes, not a hint of intonation in their voices. Valentina, once again, looked at them confusedly, but held her tongue. Gigi felt the same glare that Raven had pierce her soul once again, and decided that enough was enough of these creeps. She stole away into the next aisle and ordered an Uber to pick her up ASAP. She peeked over the display and told the girls she was going to the bathroom, to which they nodded in unison without leaving their tasks. On that note, Gigi slinked out of the store and as far down the street as her heeled feet would take her.

She texted Crystal as she waited for the Uber, impatiently tapping her foot on the concrete ground.

Sexy Robot🥵🤖

heyyy, wanna meet up at your place? i have a surprise 

Hot Clown🤡🔥

DUH OMG u know I can’t wait 

when are u comin?

Sexy Robot🥵🤖

I’ll be there in like 20 mins 

Hot Clown🤡🔥

I can’t wait to see u🥺🥺🥺

Sexy Robot🥵🤖

keep your panties on, boss

Hot Clown🤡🔥

Don’t ever call me boss again you whore 

Sexy Robot🥵🤖

only for u ;)

Gigi smiled as her Uber finally arrived, excited to talk to Crystal after what happened the night prior. She’d not only had a steamy makeout session with a hot designer, she’d kissed the girl she liked when they were both semi-sober-ish. Her happiness was short-lived, though, when she received a text from Aquaria on a group chat she’d been added to. She exhaled nervously as she shut the car door, telling the driver where to go.

Hottest Hoes in Paris⭐️⭐️

Aquafina

Has anyone seen Gigi?

You’ve been in the bathroom an awful long time bitch

French Vanilla Fantasy

no :(

did she leave?!

GIGI WHERE ARE YOU

Bebe Badde

aaaa sorry guys I wasn’t feeling well!

LegsLegsLegsLegs

Awe babe you should have told us

Feel well soon

French Vanilla Fantasy

i send all my love to you!! 💛💘💚💘❤️💝💚💞💓❤️💘

Aquafina

Ya feel better!

Gigi sighed, having successfully escaped the strangest outing she’d ever been on. The drive to Fatelle was shorter than she’d expected, the model barely realizing she had reached her destination before paying the driver and nearly leaping out of the car. She sped into the lobby, saying hi to Adore before bounding to the elevator. She was almost giddy at the prospect of seeing Crystal again, unfamiliar with having a crush this strong. Gigi felt like she and Crystal fit together like puzzle pieces: anything she didn’t have, the designer did, and vice versa. But they still came together in the same picture, with the same values and dreams and—gosh, they were a match made in heaven.

Gigi gripped the shopping bag as she reached Crystals floor, finding her room (Crystal had texted her where she lived a few days prior) and knocking on the door. It opened almost immediately to a grinning Crystal, dressed in cute casual clothes and fluffy ugg slippers.

“What’s the surprise?” She said right away, letting the younger girl inside.

“First of all, hi,” Gigi rolled her eyes, giving the shorter girl a quick peck on the cheek. “Second of all, you’ll see. Third of all — you will not believe the day I’ve had.”

“Dang, it’s two PM!”

“And shits wild!”

“Spill.” Crystal plopped on the couch, motioning for Gigi to join her. The ginger kicked her shoes off and made herself comfortable, propping her tired legs on the coffee table. 

“So I met up with Aquaria and Naomi and Valentina…”

“No way!”

“Yes, Aqua invited me. And it was insane.”

“How?”

“Would you believe me if I told you that I think Fatelle is the Illuminati?”

“Honestly, with some of the shit that’s been going on…”

“Right?! Okay, they literally kept saying Miss Fame might be alive?”

“She’s alive in my heart, but… it’s been a whole century.”

“And they acted like it was real! And then Valentina said that I wouldn’t have to eat soon?“

“What? Why?”

“Like I wouldn’t physically need to eat.”

“That’s fucking weird.”

“It was the strangest thing. Am I in the Twilight Zone?”

“Maybe you’re in the Twilight! Edward or Jacob?”

“Edward.”

“Good choice. Edward.”

The two shared a chuckle, Crystal’s eyes flitting to the bag Gigi had brought.

“Is that the surprise?”

Gigi smirked, getting up and pulling out a box of bleach, purple toner, and a box of natural red dye. “Don’t think I didn’t remember what you said!”

“No! Oh my gosh you’re the best!” Crystal grabbed her dye and grinned widely, eyes crinkled in a cute way. “We have to do this now.”

“Raven’s gonna be pisssssed,” Gigi remembered, not really caring anyway.

“Raven is basically Edward’s cousin, who cares?”

“Oh shit she is like Edwards’ cousin! Bitch looks all pale and dark haired and ooky and spooky.”

“My mind.”

“Your mind.”

The two made their way to the bathroom, opening their goodies and setting up to do each other’s hair. Crystal wrapped a towel around Gigi’s shoulders, knowing her process would be much more time consuming.

“Have you done hair before?” The model asked as Crystal mixed up the bleach.

“For sure, I dyed my hair back to brown so I could look professional when I came here,” she laughed. “I had neon green before, remember?”

“Right!” 

Gigi couldn’t say she wasn’t nervous when Crystal began applying the dye to the ends of her hair, but trusted the designers judgement and vision. It was her fashion show, after all. The older girl worked quickly, yet thoroughly. She was used to working with her difficult curly hair, so it was easy for her to comb through Gigi’s nearly-straight locks. Strand by strand, she painted the bleach on with her gloved hands, unaware that her work was nearly causing Gigi to fall asleep at the calming feeling of her hair being lightly tugged. She model nearly dozed off when Crystal started massaging her scalp to make sure the roots were coated. Finally, Crystal was happy with her work, snapping Gigi back into reality when she placed a shower cap over the models head.

“Sleepyhead, you’ve gotta do my hair now,” Crystal discarded her latex gloves, brushing the back of her hand against Gigi’s cheek. “In half an hour you gotta take a shower with the toner, and then when you’re done, I take a shower and then we both have new hair!”

“I have a suggestion,” Gigi yawned. “Why don’t you keep giving me a head massage and I go to bed?”

“If you want your hair to fall out, sure.”

Gigi rolled her eyes, getting up to open the red box dye. She took out the components, following directions to mix the bottles together and shake it up. Apprehensively, she started squeezing the fluid all over Crystal’s hair and running it through the coils. “Is this right?”

“Just make sure every strand is coated, but yeah!” she smiled at Gigi through the mirror, and Gigi smirked back.

“So, do we need to talk about last night at all?” the model asked as she worked.

“Do you think we need to?”

“I mean, if we’re on the same page, no.”

“Are we?”

“What’s the definition of the same page, then?”

“Um… I liked kissing you?”

“Good, then we’re definitely on the same page,” Gigi blushed. She looked in the mirror for a second and laughed. “I look like a lunch lady!”

“Shush, you look pretty no matter what.”

“Says you, Crystalline Elizabeth.”

“Says the model, Genevieve Regina!”

“Oh. Well.”

“You bitch! You’re supposed to tell me how great I am.”

“Crystal Methyd, you are perfect.”

“I know I am.”

“Who’s the bitch now, bitch?”

This went on as Gigi finished applying the color to Crystal’s hair, placing her own cap over the voluminous mass of hair. Crystal checked the time. “You should go take a shower, Gi. And make sure to leave that toner on for ten minutes!”

“Got it,” she replied as Crystal exited the luxury bathroom into the bedroom. 

“I’ll leave you out some comfy clothes, hm?”

“What, you wanna cuddle and watch movies with me later?”

“Uh… yeah.”

“Thank god. I’ll see you soon,” Gigi leaned in for another quick peck on the cheek, a new habit she’d grown quite fond of. She shut the door and turned on the tap, waiting for the water to warm up before undressing and stepping inside.

Gigi was tired, but the steam against her skin helped balance her energy once again. She removed the shower cap, eyes widening at how light her hair was. She was used to her red hair turning almost-black when wet, but it was now a dirty brown color under the water. The dry strands were a nearly-white yellow. This will take some adjusting to, she thought as she quirted a glob of toner in her hands. She worked it through her hair for a couple minutes, careful to get every last bit. The next ten minutes were spent trying to keep her head out of the shower whilst keeping her body in, which was a difficult task that often left Gigi shivering without the warmth of the water on her body, only to put her arm or leg back in.

The model stepped out of the glass shower into the bathroom that was nearly identical to her own. She wiped the fog away from the mirror and stood, as she did, scanning her body. She was healthy, but extraordinarily petite. Many her size would have bones jutting out, maybe even appearing emaciated, but not Gigi. Her figure was all smooth lines and gentle curves. She had a waist and hips, but they certainly weren’t defined. Her breasts followed the outer curves of her chest, small and close together. She was a model. She looked like a model.

Gigi grabbed a towel once she noticed the goosebumps on her arms, using it to dry off and then wrapping it around herself. She decided to use the hairdryer as well, since apart from her hair taking forever to dry on its own, she wanted to see what it looked like now. As her locks returned to their normal state, Gigi could see that Crystal did a near-perfect job. Her hair was evenly colored a light-barbie-doll blonde all around — not too yellow, not too silver. She certainly looked like a barbie doll. She felt like one.

The girl exited the bathroom into the attached bedroom, calling out to Crystal that she was done. She found a set of satin pajama shorts and a shirt, surprised that the designer owned something so fancy. She changed quickly, feeling more than comfortable in this outfit.

As Crystal took her time in the bathroom, Gigi grew… bored. She felt lonely scrolling through Instagram all by herself, so she shut off her phone and sank back into the couch. Her eyes flickered from the ceiling, to the window, to the TV, and finally, to the bedroom entryway. Gigi wasn’t really the mischievous type, but hey, when in Paris. She smirked as she got up, starting by looking through Crystal’s dresser. Nothing of importance, really: just makeup, underwear (oh hey, those were garters… she wondered what those would look like on Crystal…), stacks and stacks of jewelry. So the model opted to look through the closet, a favorite activity of hers. Crystal’s wardrobe nearly burned Gigi’s eyes out when she first opened the doors. Colors and patterns everywhere, unorganized platform shoes falling over the floor. It was so bad, it was beautiful. Gigi began with the shoes, definitely wanting to steal some of them for herself.

As she got lost in Crystal’s fashion tastes, she failed to hear the shower shutting off and Crystal entering the bedroom, the newly-ginger letting out a yelp as she realized Gigi was there. The younger girl whipped around to see Crystal attempting to cover herself up with her hands, flustered beyond belief at the fact that she was…

butt naked.

[nahimjustfeelingit-writes]

Creed Imagine: PRT TWO

“It’s either me or Bianca”

“Y/N, girl, I know you’re in the damn house your car is outside.”

That doesn’t mean anything she could have taken an uber somewhere. Y/N hated driving.

Knock knock knock

“Y/N.”

She looked back at The Shade Room post again scrolling through the paparazzi photos of Bianca in London sitting on her drummers lap tonguing him down while his hands cupped her small perky ass. Both of them were cheating motherfuckers.

“This shit is tired, Y/N,” She could hear Adonis’s body slump against the door, “I know what your thinking...just open the door and say that shit to my face.”

She opened the door alright, Adonis falling flat on his back into her apartment. He shot up off the ground abruptly groaning in pain. She just gave him a coy smile with her heart-shaped lips while resting her hands on her naked hips. She was only wearing a Nike sports bra and yoga pants. He closed the door to her Urban loft, walking past her and practically yanking his North Face puffer jacket from his body.

“What the fuck was that for?” Adonis kicked off his shoes and made his way to her open kitchen placing his phone on the kitchen island. Damn, this nigga was so comfortable like they didn’t have an argument the night before.

“Felt like you deserved it Creed,” she rolled her eyes at Adonis while walking past him to pick up her shot of espresso.

“Yeah, okay,” Adonis drummed his fingers on the counter while staring Y/N down hungrily, “So are you gonna tell me I told you so and that I’m a dumb motherfucker?”

“Why should I remind you?” She licked some espresso from her lips, “Listen, make this shit quick I have some clients coming over for some hair and I have to go into the shop today.”

His jaw tightened and he gave her that knock a nigga out look. The look that he always gave her when she was being a brat and when he was deep in that pussy.

“Well?!” She raised her voice, “I ain’t got all day, Donnie.”

“I’m sorry,” He spoke with a grunt, “I’m sorry I did you like that last night. Yeah...I already knew about B cheating...I knew for a minute but I didn’t call her out on her bullshit because I was fucking with you. Anyway, this the second time she-“

“Second?” Y/N chuckles, “So...the guy from before isn’t the drummer?”

“Nah,” Adonis rolls his eyes before picking up an apple from Y/N’s fruit basket, “THAT'S what’s fucking me up right now.”

“Wow.” Y/N shook her head slowly, “y’all need therapy.”

Adonis mugged Y/N, “Really? That’s how we’re doing this?”

“I mean,” she shrugged with a dry laugh, “Yeah. You still love her, you don’t love me since I’m only good for my pussy, you both have a daughter to care for, I’m just...”

“Just what?” He squinted angrily at her.

Y/N placed her cup in the sink, “Listen, D, let’s just be honest with ourselves, okay? We both want to fuck each other. You came here expecting me to sooth you and fuck you, possibly lick away your tears and me,” she pointed to herself while walking up to Adonis, “I just want some dick.”

Adonis opened his mouth to speak but Y/N placed a finger over his plush lips.

“Stop talking and gimmie some dick, Adonis.”

She didn’t want to hear a word he had to say. She was gonna get what the fuck she wanted. Y/N was tired of Adonis taking advantage of her. She was going to call the shots now. Bianca was the least of her problems. Fuck her honestly. Amara was such a precious baby that didn’t deserve this. Two busy parents shoved her into a baby sitter's arms. Fucking sad. She loves Adonis and Y/N knows he loves her too from that intimate evening but at this moment she felt like an ice queen. He didn’t deserve the sweet Y/N right now.

“That’s what this is, right?” She literally yanked her sports bra from her chest. Her C-cup breasts bounced free and Donnie’s eyes damn near fell out of his head. She pressed her chest into his solid one before shoving him into the kitchen island hard. Donnie grunted in pain while his hard eyes glared at her. Y/N held his gaze, her hands pulling her yoga pants off and tossing those over the counter. Adonis raised a single brow at her. No panties under those yoga pants. No wonder why that thick ass jiggled so much.

“Ima take what I want,” she got down on her knees, pulling Donnie’s sweat pants and briefs down. He was already hard and ready to be sucked.

“Damn, Y/N,” Adonis took in a sharp breath when Y/N’s warm tight lips wrapped around him snuggly. The sounds of her sucking and gagging bounced off the kitchen walls. Donnie’s lip poked out and his eyes became slits as he watched her take what she wanted. Damn, this bitch was the truth. She sucked Donnie all the way down with no hands since they were planted on the sides of the kitchen island to keep her balance.

“You’re taking that shit, Y/N, damn, girl,” Adonis reaches out to grab her hair but Y/N smacked his hand away harshly saying, “DONT touch me.”

She swallows his dick again. Adonis whispers oh my God.

“Fuck, you got my dick so wet,” Adonis pulls his black long sleeve shirt up to rest under his chin, “why you sucking on my dick like that?”

She didn’t even care to answer him. All she cared about was swallowing this big dick asshole. She popped her mouth off using one hand to jerk his sloppy dick while her mouth sucked on his tight balls. He almost buckled from that. Y/N had his ass.

“Damn, fuck, shit,” He placed his bottom lip between his teeth, “I’m cumming don’t waste my shit, bitch.”

“Gimmie my shit then, nigga,” Her lips found the swollen tip of his thick veiny dick. He pulsates in her warm wet mouth before his thick load filled her throat up. She didn’t flinch. Y/N gulped. His hands came up to squeeze the sides of the counter to control the tremors. He looks so beautiful when he cums.

“Nasty little thing.”

She licks some cum from her lips, “eat this pussy,” she takes one of her legs and plopped it right on top of the kitchen island. Y/N takes her fingers to pull her phat pussy lips apart. The brown color of her gel polish looked so pretty wet while rubbing that beautiful pussy. Adonis came down on his knees, grabbing Y/N’s thigh to keep it up so she wouldn’t move. He takes his tongue to lick all of that honey that soaked her folds. Y/N’s hand cupped the back of Donnie’s neck, pushing his face in further. His lips sucked and kissed her all over. Y/N’s toes curled and her nails painfully dragged along Donnie’s neck. He was going to be scarred from that.

“Eat this pussy,” She was growing weak and almost fell to the floor. Adonis got up from the kitchen floor, picked Y/N up, and put her on the counter. She wanted that pussy ate from the back so Y/N carefully got on her knees on the counter and arched forward placing her pussy in Donnie’s face. Adonis slapped her ass twice before his mouth was back on her pussy. Y/N’s cheek rested against the cold ceramic countertop of the kitchen island.

“Damn, you’re eating that thang, mmm,” She reaches back to grab the top of Donnie’s head, “You miss the taste of this pussy?”

“Fuck, yes,” Adonis spoke into her juicy pussy.

“I bet you do, Mr. Creed,” she said with a harsh tone, “The way you eating this pussy I know you miss this.”

Adonis slaps her cheeks again from how bratty she was being.

“Yeah, suck on that juicy clit,” Her eyelids fluttered, “slurp this pussy.”

Y/N was pumping him up like she was cheering on the sidelines at a fight. He was going harder and harder the more she talked and now she could only moan.

“Yes, yes, yes!” she froze. Adonis was drinking her dry. She clawed the countertop while her ass shook in his face from her orgasm.

“Fuck, baby,” Adonis licked his lips and wiped his chin, “Tastes just as sweet as I remembered.”

“And don’t you forget,” Y/N turned and wrapped her legs around Adonis bringing him closer to her while she sat on the kitchen island. Her lips wrapped around his bottom lip to suck the taste of her pussy off then her tongue slithered into his open mouth for more. They had a heated kissing session with moans and sucking of lips. Adonis pulls away, his lips and nose wet from how hard they were kissing, taking off his shirt. There was that rock hard body her favorite boxer had.

“C’ mere,” she whispered, “Bring that body and that dick to me.”

He came back to her and picked her up from that counter. Like a magnet that can’t be separated their lips were back on each other with desperation. Y/N could feel Adonis rub her slick folds with that thick tip of his. She moved her hips to cause some friction on her clit. Adonis has one hand wrapped in her weave while the other wrapped tightly around her slim thick body.

“You ain’t fucking me yet,” Y/N whispers in Donnie’s ear. His lips attacked her neck to distract her so she wouldn’t see it coming. And she didn’t. He plunged into her so sharp her body curled up and shook. She clawed Donnie’s back and stared into his eyes with hankering desire. His dick was so rock-hard. He really was horny for Y/N when he came knocking on her door. The heels of her tiny feet nudged his back each time he entered her wetness. Y/N’s arms came back to grasp the kitchen island. The muscles in her back shook as Adonis literally wrecked her pussy. He handled her little body with hard-hearted strokes. Like she said, they both needed to be fucked.

Ring ring ring

Adonis’s phone steadily rang as his meaty pipe ruthlessly took Y/N’s pussy. With a moan stuck in her throat, Y/N looked over at his phone noticing the B-I-A-N-C-A.

Bianca Creed.

“You’re cheating ass wife is call-calling you,” she spoke between strokes.

“Shut up,” Adonis grabbed Y/N with vigor bouncing her over his dick to teach her a lesson. Y/N’s head was being yanked back with Adonis’s hand wrapped around her bundles.

“D-Donnie,” She stuttered. He didn’t say a word but her cheeks clapping on his balls was enough of a response to how good he was fucking her.

Ring ring ring

“Fuck,” Adonis bit down on his bottom lip with a scrunch of his nose from Y/N tightening around his length. “That’s how you grabbing my dick, Baby girl?”

“Cuz you’re fucking me so good,” she pressed her sweaty cheek against his equally sweaty forehead, “God, you’re in my pussy, nigga.”

Ring ring ring

Y/N was ready to snatch his phone up and throw it down the garbage disposal.

“Would you like me to answer your phone?” Y/N spoke with distaste, “It’s pissing me o-off!”

Adonis has her entire body shaking and her eyes watering. This man was no joke. Shit felt like fireworks erupted inside of her from how hard she came. He had to grab Y/N to stop her from falling.

“FUCK DONNIE!!!!” She moaned out. He didn’t wait for her to gather herself. Adonis flipped Y/N around, arching her over the kitchen island.

“Spread them fucking cheeks.” He barked out and she could feel his spit hit her back. Y/N pulled her ass cheeks apart to show him all the cream from her cum.

“That’s all we do right? Just fucking?” He angrily slaps her ass, “And I don’t know who the fuck you talking to I’ll answer my fucking phone when I please, bitch.”

She could see her breath fogging the ceramic counter from how hard her cheek was pressed into the surface.

Just fuck this pussy,” Y/N bounced her ass against Adonis’s dick, “Put it on me.”

“I got that ass don’t worry.”

He continues his beating on Y/N’s pussy. She could feel her ass cheeks sting from how hard she clapped back on him.

Ring ring ring

After Bianca blew up Donnie’s phone for the fifth time the screen showed a series of heated angry messages from her.

DONNIE WHERE ARE YOU?!

ANSWER YOUR FUCKING PHONE ADONIS!!

I know you saw the photos... smh, can you please talk to me?!

I don’t understand the silent treatment when you’re out there doing your own dirt!

I know about her.

Y/N!

“Oh, fuck, she knows about me?!” Y/N let out a sharp moan before her face was lifted from the counter by her hair.

“Shut the fuck up, Y/N.”

She reached back to claw his abdomen. He grabs her wrist.

“Hmph, I got you feenin’ for this dick.”

“Donnie-“

“Stop talking-“

“Fuck, Adonis-“

“WHAT I JUST SAY?! Oh, you bitch, fuck!”

Adonis planted both of his hands on the counter of the island with a loud slap. His fingers curled into fists and his hips snapped forward rapidly before cumming deep in Y/N’s pussy. He never came inside of her until this very moment. She looked back at him over her shoulder with bewildered eyes. She had her mouth hanging open and a soft moan escaping while their foreheads touched. His hips moved slowly and his dick was still firm in her pussy.

“Shit,” He reached out to grab his phone. Y/N’s eyes wavered and her lip twisted up to fight a cry.

“Damn, she really blowing me up,” He actually laughed. It was an irate laugh. It was as if Y/N could feel the coldness behind it.

“Are you going to call her back?” Y/N couldn’t stop herself from asking.

“Yeah,” he placed his phone face down on the counter, “but first I gotta fuck you again.”

“God, Donnie,” Y/N felt vanquished. His cum mixed with her cum and the firmness of his dick tugging on the underside of her clit has her ready to squirt all over the kitchen floor.

“Why do you do this to me, girl?” His words were in her ear while his calloused hands stroked down her spine, “fit around my dick like this and make me cum three or four times. Fuckin’ trappin’ me.”

Adonis started demolishing Y/N’s pussy again.

@tgigoldie @soufcakmistress @chefjessypooh@chaneajoyyy@pananegra@theblulife @becincere @blaqwidow91 @fish-outta-watah@moonlight-night-sky @eyeknowmywrites  @crowngold@njadakillthiscookie@blktinkerbell@luvanxi @sheisexcellent1@chocolatedippedinhoney@brandithecrystalgem@dababydababydababydababy@soulfulbeauty19@btitannaaa@sunkissedebony97 @youngblackndgifted@harleycativy @rbhp@thee-germanpeach @thadelightfulone@bugngiz@palmstreesallday@skylahb @bakaris-shorty @nizzle-mo​ @truglori @queenflaws

[espinosaurusrexex]

Drunk

In which David gets drunk and hurts himself

warnings: cursing, mention of death, alcohol, general stupidity

a/n: for the anon who requested an imagine from my Drabble list. For some reason it took me a while to write this and I’m still not 100% satisfied with it. But anyway... enjoy!

5. Call 911 this isn’t funny!

15. Wake up! Please, please wake up!

21. Can I kiss you?

word count: 2.5k

Music was blasting through the club, bouncing off the walls back to the people on the dance floor. It was friday night and Y/N and her friends had decided to go out. Y/N was seated at the bar next to Matt and Corinna, sipping her drink and enjoying the music that was currently playing. She watched her friends dancing in the crowd having a good time and smiled to herself. The love these moments filled her with was relieving. Moments, in which none of them was supposed to fill out a certain role for someones videos. They were just here to let loose and enjoy themselves. She focused on David showing off the most ridiculous dance moves next to Zane. She was so glad he let loose for tonight. It took her an hour to convince him not to take his camera with him today. The vlogger was always extremely focused on his work, trying to catch every bit of his and his friends' lives on camera to show it to the world. He loved his job and that was the main reason why he couldn't let go of his camera so easily. The other being that going to a party was the easiest way to get funny material out of his friends. Y/N saw this as sort of a teambuilding event for their group of friends. A break from all the social media and job pressure all of them found themselves under pretty much every day. So when she finally suggested to make this night a no technology one, not even mobile phones, she was surprised by the reactions of the vlog squad. They actually liked the idea.

Y/N checked the time: 2:49 am. They had been here for almost 4 hours now. Though her friends on the dancefloor didn't seem to mind, Y/N herself felt the alcohol wearing off and the tiredness kicking in. She rested her head on Corinnas shoulder sighing loudly to catch the blonde’s attention.

‘’You alright?’’ Corinna tried looking into her friends eyes, but struggled since they were closed and nuzzled into her neck.

‘’Yeah… just tired i guess.’’, Y/N shrugged, ‘’I think I’m gonna head home soon. What about you guys?’’

Now she caught Matts attention as well. He took in the tired ladies in front of him feeling a yawn creep up in his throat. He chuckled looking back to the dance floor as he watched his friends enjoying the evening.

‘’I’m down… though I don't know if those goofs are.’’ The tall boy pointed towards Zane and Scotty twerking on a bunch of girls, who were just laughing at the scene in front of them. But who would blame them? They did look ridiculous moving to the beat of the music and failing miserably as the alcohol had probably eliminated their feeling of rhythm throughout the past two hours.

‘’But now that I see… whatever that is’’, Matt waved his hand at the crowd, ‘’you might be right.’’ he shot the girls a crooked smile before jumping off his barstool and headed towards the crazy people they all called their friends.

Corinna cleared her throat: ‘’Are you really ok? I’ve noticed you watching David the whole evening. And don’t tell me it doesn't bother you that he was dancing with this random girl the entire night.’’ She looked at the girl next to her sympathetically as she caressed her shoulder with her hands.

Corinna and Y/N had known each other long before david and the vlog squad became a thing. They grew up together, living in the same neighborhood and visiting high school together. It was an understatement to say that Corinna knew Y/N. They had practically never parted ever since they met as kids. It was just natural for them to know each other's secrets and fears, including crushes, boyfriends and all that other stuff. Which was also the reason, why the blonde was so concerned for her best friends who just happened to have a small crush on David Dobrik himself. It was nothing serious, Y/N had literally told her that she thought he was cute but she wouldn't want anything to jeopardize the amazing friendship they had. So it had soon been swapped under the carpet. But noticing as her best friend had watched the boy across the club the entire evening, corinna couldn't help but ask.

‘’I… I don't know what to feel right now, Corinna, I’m tipsy and tired and honestly just scared to do something stupid, so…. Just leave it please.’’

Y/N watched Matt talking to their friends pointing towards the exit and laughing along with the rest of them. Shortly after, David came dancing out of the crowd mimicking a rope, he pulled himself closer to the girls at the bar. He didn't stop dancing while he started talking: ‘’Why do you alrrrrready wanna leaveeeee Y/N/N?’’

He dragged a couple letters in his sentence and the girls could tell, he wasn't as sober anymore. Y/N chuckled, watching the dark haired boy bust some pretty bad moves in front of them.

‘’Because I’m tired and want to go home. It’s late anyway.’’ She tapped her wrist to emphasize her words and made her way towards the exit after seeing that the rest of the group had gotten off the dancefloor as well.

They were all walking on the sidewalk cracking their usual jokes and just enjoying their time together while debating whether they should grab something to eat before getting an uber home or just going there right away.

After a couple minutes of walking, Zane started jumping at the walls and street lights, pretending he was spiderman and annoying pretty much every member of the group. They had decided to drop by IN-N-OUT and to get there by foot, they had at least 20 more minutes to go. Y/N was just concerned that he was accidentally going to jump on the street and most certainly die. Zane creamed louder, making weird noises and trying to climb a stop sign the group had just came across. The dark haired guy fell a couple of times stumbling towards the next obstacle he could climb. He had jumped on top of a small wall next to a fountain when he screamed again.

‘’David, David come here I’m Spiderman! You're gonna be saved from me!! Here come here I wanna jump across the fountain with you!’’

David smirked drunkenly and made his way to the fountain high fiving Zane, who explained the plan to him.

‘’This is not going to end well.’’ Matt shook his head.

Y/N had to admit this was probably not the stupidest idea Zane had ever had, but knowing that David was not capable of making smart decisions himself anymore, she had concern written all over her face. Normally David was the one holding his friends back from making dangerous moves while intoxicated. Somebody else had to fulfill that role tonight. But neither was anybody sober enough nor attempting to stop those two idiots from killing themselves. Y/N couldn't do anything but watch as Zane jumped off the wall with David on his back. For a moment it looked like they could actually make it over the water but soon after that thought entered Y/N’s head, Zane slipped on the edge of the fountain. The boys fell backwards into the water, followed by a loud scream and water splashing everywhere.

‘’Shit!’’ One of the friends screamed. Y/N heard a couple ‘OMGs’ thrown her way but her surroundings were a blur the second she saw Zane burying David under his body and pushing not only him but also his head towards the cement floor of the fountain. She rushed towards her friends. Zane hat gotten up already laughing at his stunt. The rest of the group laughed as well. None of them noticed that David had yet to get up and laugh with them, but nothing happened. Y/N jumped into the water attempting to get her friend out the water but failing miserably. Matt came running to her and helped get David up and out of the fountain.

‘’Come on Dave…’’, she muttered to herself as they had finally gotten his head out of the water. Her friends were still busy hyping up Zane who stood there in full glory enjoying the applause of his friends who just complimented the guy on his stupidity.

David did not move. He was out cold. The fall must have knocked his head on the floor pretty hard, making him unconscious. Y/N couldn't believe her friends. How could they be so distracted and not see the seriousness of this situation? Anger rushed through her body as she shook davids shoulders in an attempt to bring him back to consciousness.

‘’Wake up! Please, please wake up!’’ She pulled on his shirt slapping and punching against Matt’s chest while he pulled her away from David to calm her down. That caught the attention of the others. They stopped dead in their tracks as they saw David’s unconscious body laying on the floor.

‘’Call 911 this isn't funny!’’ Y/N screamed desperately after calming down a little bit. But looking in all of her friends shocked faces made the adrenaline come rushing back through her veins again. Toddy was the first one to react, kneeling down next to his friend and looking for injuries.

‘’What are you all standing there? Do something!’’ Y/N was furious.

‘’Well we can’t…’’ Mariah trailed off, ‘’ This was a no phones event, remember?’’ The girl guiltily trained her eyes on the floor inspecting her shoes closely.

The group looked at each other. ‘’One of you dipshits must have brought their phone anyway!’’, somebody shouted, but Y/N dazed off into her panic again.

This situation couldn't have been worse. Her friend and crush was currently dying on the sidewalk and none of them were able to do anything about it.

15 minutes passed but to Y/N it felt like hours. All of this would’ve never happened if she had not suggested this stupid no phones policy. Sure, the evening had been fun for the most part BECAUSE of the lack of phones or cameras, but that didn't change the situation the group found themselves in right now. Corinna was sitting by Y/N’s side and comforted her best friend who had started crying five minutes in. She was a mess. Her hair was wet and the fear was visible in her glossy eyes. The Best friends sat there for a while hugging each other and glancing back to David every second to check if something had changed. Nothing. The desperation in everyone was balling up, making them unable to move or even say anything.

Y/N twitched, noticing a faint siren in the distance. Soon after, an ambulance came rushing down the street and stopping right by them. Everything happened extremely fast and within one minute Y/N found herself at the door of the ambulance explaining to the paramedic what had happened and why she should be able to ride with David to the hospital.

‘’Sorry, Dear. Only family members get to ride in the ambulance.’’, The gray bearded man explained to her. This was bullshit. After all she was the one who saved his ass. She tried a couple more arguments but the man wouldn't let her in.

‘’She's his girlfriend… does that count?’’ Matt came up behind her smiling at the man lightly. The paramedic raised an eyebrow and studied Y/N’s face again, looking for any sign of lying but didn't seem to find any.

‘’Alight, get in.’’ He made his way into the ambulance and motioned for her to climb in.

Y/N whispered a swift ‘thank you’ towards Matt before stepping into the Ambulance and driving off towards the hospital.

04:01 am. The clock seemed to move slower than ever and every second Y/N was seated in the waiting area, felt like an hour passing by. Her eyes were focused on the green door, David had been pushed through about 30 minutes ago. She didn't know where her friends were and she didn't know how David was doing. And the worst part, she didn’t know how long this was going to take. The adrenaline was wearing off slowly and Y/N felt herself drifting in and out of sleep every now and then. She rubbed her eyes and got a cup of coffee to keep herself from falling asleep. That was when the doors opened again and a woman in a white coat headed towards her.

‘’David Dobrik?’’, she asked nodding towards Y/N.

‘’Yes.’’

‘’Please come with me.’’ She motioned for her to follow her into the hallway David had been pushed in before and stopped in front of room number 406.

‘’Mr. Dobrik is conscious now. He has a bad concussion which is also the reason why we will have to keep him here for a couple more days. You can see him now.’’ The doctor shot her a smile before rushing through the hallway again.

Y/N’s palms were sweaty as she pushed down the door handle and moved towards the hospital bed on the left side of the room. As soon as she saw him, she broke down crying. The girl walked over to her friend falling on top of him and hugging him tightly.

‘’I thought you were dead.’’, she whispered in his ear and took in his scent, which was now mixed with alcohol and sweat.

‘’Don't ever do that again. You had me worried sick! Those were the worst minutes of my life, do you understand? Don't you ever almost die on me again.’’

‘’Hey it's alright, I’m alright.’’ he smiled warmly, stroking Y/N’s back and pulling her into a hug once again.

‘’I was worried sick.’’, she repeated.

Her eyes started to water and soon, hot tears were streaming down here face. She had never noticed how deeply she really cared for David. The thought of him not being around her anymore was tearing her heart apart to the point where her chest was hurting badly. She looked down athim, taking in his eyes, his messy hair, and his lips. His lips that were basically begging her to kiss him right now. She scolded herself for the thought that came rushing through her head, but then again, it was nice to imagine being even closer to him than now. Y/N just now realised how close their faces were from each other. A half, maybe one inch parted their faces from each other and made it even harder for her to resist the urge to press her lips against his.

‘’Can… Can I kiss you?’’ Y/N was hesitant. Looking into his eyes curiously she prayed to God, that David wouldn’t burst the bubble of love and concern she was in.

But he inched closer, stopping so close to her lips that she could basically taste them.

‘’You can.’’ David smiled and closed his eyes. He pushed her head towards his gently until their lips finally met.

[lilwenney]

looking for affection in all the wrong places (ii)

pairing: will x female!reader warning(s): alcohol, swearing, general banter, kissin’ boys, oh and stephen tries is drunk word count: 4k  a/n: part two of five, part one can be found here / things!! get!! interesting!! so we have finally began the rising action part of the story and things get a bit heated in more ways than one ;) this was one of my favorite parts of the entire story for the longest time. anyways i hope you guys enjoy x 

London, England December 2019

“I don’t know what I’m gonna wear!” 

“A dress! A skirt! Those denim shorts you bought last week-”

“It’s December, Cleo,” 

“And you were the one who bought them in December!” She called out with an eye roll. “And you know, a hoe never gets cold,” Cleo said, mimicking the video that plagued the girls’ group-chat every Friday night from October until May. 

(Y/N) groaned at the infamous quote and pulled out the first article of clothing she spotted on her wardrobe rack - a black bodysuit, bought months ago while lounging on her sofa with a hangover, but that didn’t stop her from planning her next party outfit. It came in handy during the times she had no idea what to wear, just like this night. 

Sliding on the black bodysuit and into a pair of denim jeans, she looked at herself in the mirror, spinning around, looking over her shoulder, posing, trying to catch herself from all angles to deem it worthy. 

“Have you seen my- oh, you look hot,” Cleo cut her own self off when she barged into (Y/N)’s room, welding a tube of mascara in one hand and an eyelash curler in the other. Panic written across her face as their eyes met. “Have you seen my mascara primer?” 

She nodded and pointed to the vanity across the room. “Had to borrow it. It should be with mine.” She said and Cleo slid over, searching through the makeup bags on the counter.

“Ah, found it,” Cleo said before looking back at her best friend who was posing in the mirror while tugging the shoulder-less top down to reveal more of her chest. She rolled her eyes. “If that top gets any lower for Adrian tonight-” 

“Oh shut it. I’m not wearing it for him.” 

“Who’s it for then?” 

“For myself, thank you,” she said, turning and grabbing a tube of lipstick off the small table, applying the finishing coat. “It’s my first night out since we split and I plan on looking good for no one else other than myself. So,” she paused, raising a brow, “hurry up so we can go.” 

“You can't rush mascara or perfection, love,” Cleo groaned before swiftly leaving the bedroom to her own.

The girls met in the living room fifteen minutes later, five minutes after they originally planned to leave. After sliding into heels, throwing lipstick, their own drinks, and IDs into their bags, they left their flat, whisking down to catch the Uber that had been waiting for them. They were usually good with driving to James’ flat, taking turns with drinking each week, but this Friday both girls planned to drink more than they could handle. It was supposed to be Cleo’s week to drink and (Y/N)’s turn to drive, but after a bit of heartbreak no less than 72 hours ago, Cleo gave her some slack and they split a drive across the city. How they would get home later was just up to the party gods. 

The vibrating bass of an Oliver Tree song led the girls right to the front door of James’ flat. 

The door was open, people popping in and out from the hallway, and they found themselves among those heading inside. They dodged the unfamiliar people that littered the space in the foyer, pushing inwards until they reached the center of everything and everyone in the living room - the multicolored lights revolving around the room, the drinks pouring behind them, dancing bodies filled the space between the sofas and next to the foosball table. Most house-parties didn’t truly start until 11 o’clock, but the height of these parties hit at 10 p.m. - better drinks, people not yet on the verge of blacking out, and better music. It beat going to a nightclub and standing shoulder-to-shoulder with people you didn’t know while downing an eight pound drink and dancing to yet another Rihanna remix. 

Like she was trained, her eyes instantly scanned the familiar space for Adrian, only for her mission to be cut short when James found her first, breaking away from his own girlfriend to greet them both. 

“Heyy!” She could tell he was already tipsy, borderline drunk, just like how the host of a party should be when everyone started to arrive. Laughing, she threw her arms around him and pulled him close, rocking from side-to-side before pulling apart and allowing him to hug Cleo, who stepped around from behind her. 

It was when she pulled back that she spotted him, but not because she was looking for him, but because he was looking for her. Adrian saw her come in, a light shine down onto her like she was the only person in the room, and he couldn’t help but wonder if she wore that off-the-shoulder top for him. 

Taking a step back while Cleo and James clashed in laughter and hugs, she looked at him, and her eyes followed his head as he looked down while a petite brunette leaned up to whisper in his ear. She felt her heart drop into her stomach and felt dumb for talking herself into believing he would come alone. Hell, the first time she met him at a party he had brought a date.

It was just a glance, tenths of a second, but it felt like an eternity. She needed something to distract her. Standing there, she decided that the pre-game bottle of rum wasn’t enough. She needed something a lot stronger in her system - she needed something that would make her dance, make her forget. 

When Cleo and James pulled apart, she grabbed Cleo’s hand and their eyes met through the flashing lights. “Come on, let’s go get a drink.” 

Cleo, the friend who was known to always be down for a good time, followed behind with no hesitation. She allowed (Y/N) to guide her through the bodies and straight to the table. They grabbed cups and made a concoction out of vodka and fizzy drinks, more vodka than anything else, and then downed them in just a few gulps. 

They poured another, this time to the rim, and carried the drinks to the floor while finding the rest of their friends with the intentions of working the room. Cleo spotted Becky in the hallway and nearly jumped over everyone to get to her and say hi, while leaving (Y/N) to sit on the kitchen island and talk to whoever came by. She chatted with Tobi and Josh and eventually Callum, and then Stephen stumbled (literally) around - it was Stephen who had his fair share of tequila shots, his eyes wild and laughter heightened, which made him much more ten times more fun than normal. 

“We just got back like two days ago!” Stephen called out as they talked about his trip to New York. “I’m still fuckin’ jet lagged but there’s no better time to get smashed then, aye?” 

She shook her head and his girlfriend, Zoe, leaned into her to speak over the music. “He won’t admit it but he threw up in the bathroom of a Broadway show after betting me he could eat an entire pizza by himself in half an hour.” 

While laughing, she raised her head and looked over everyone to see yet another familiar face, not uncommon in the flat, but this was one she hadn’t seen all night.

“William!” (Y/N) called out above the music, her face brightening, mostly due to the alcohol in her system, half due to the fact that she hadn’t talked to him since yesterday. The friend group was so close they often never went over 12 hours without talking to each other, barely 72 hours without being in the same room. 

She watched him, hovering above everyone else, push past circled groups and stop straight between her knees. He was tall enough to just be a few inches shorter even while she was perched on a tall kitchen stationary. 

“I didn’t know if you were coming or not.” She said, an arm sliding over his shoulders while he placed himself between her knees. His arm slipped around her torso, innocently letting his hand rest on the band of her jeans. 

“Ah, couldn’t resist it in the end. Had to come.” 

“Because you knew I would be here.” She teased with the biggest smile, digging a finger into his dimple, drawing a cheeky smile from him before he swatted her hand away. “Seriously glad you’re here though.” 

He leaned against her for support, “yeah, I was too,”

“And then Hanna walked in.” Stephen piped up, taking another sip from his drink, and Zoe slapped him on the arm. 

(Y/N) brow scrunched as the cup of vodka fell from her lips, glancing from Stephen and then back to Will. “She’s here?” 

Will let out a deep breath, using his hand to motion to the floor, but shrugged it off a second later. “With some bloke.” 

Using the height of the stationary to her advantage, she scanned the party, over each head, every face, until she finally spotted Hanna and her date. They were standing next to the coffee table, his arm around her waist while they talked closely, sharing a drink between them among the others who were dancing. 

“Well that’s a bit fucked,” she said under the music. 

Will nodded and looked up at her, pulling her apart from the conversation with Stephen and Zoe. “I saw Adrian too,” he said and she looked down at him, noting the way his hat shifted on his head, “now that’s a bit fucked.” 

She snorted at his repeated words. “Tell me about it,” 

“So how about we,” he paused, grinning, “go get some tequila shots?” 

It was normal for Will to pretend that things didn’t bother him, that he never let things get to him. Even though this time it was obvious he wanted to avoid all talk of his ex-girlfriend, they let it slide. The question wasn’t even really a question for her. Drinking and drinking and taking shots was the only thing in her agenda that night. 

“That’s a hard bargain you drive, William..”

“Stop talking like that and come on,” he said through small laughs.

He grabbed her hand and helped her hop down off the island, leaving her cup and the couple behind as they pushed through the throngs of people back to the drink table. It was actually a dining table, but tonight it served one purpose and one purpose only - the insane abundance of alcohol brought in to be stored and mixed. While allowing him to guide her, the effects of all of her drinks were starting to hit once and for all. The music was suddenly louder, the lights became blurry, her steps were a bit lighter.

It was the time in the night when it truly felt like a party scene from a movie - everyone dancing and laughing in slow motion, drinks spilling, the music becoming overpowering and propelling them forward. It was the moments that (Y/N) cherished the most. 

In the back of the room, she shouldered her bag and watched Will pour tequila into two small shot glasses that looked like cacti. He sat the bottle down and handed her a glass, keeping the other for himself. 

“To fuck all,” he finally said and she laughed, raising her arm. 

“To fuck all,” she repeated, clinking her glass with his. 

Bringing the small glass to her lips, she turned the bottom up, allowing the rich alcohol to slide down her throat, burning all the way down to her stomach. Her face twisted at the taste and so did Will’s, both laughing at their reactions seconds later. 

“Okay,” she said sitting the glass down and wiping the corner of her mouth with her sleeve, “again,” 

“Again?” His voice was heightened, face still scrunched from the taste. 

“I need something that will get me to dance here. And no amount of beer is going to give me the courage.” 

He smiled, popping the top off the bottle again, “okay, okay, one more, and then we’ll dance, yeah?” He poured the shots, handing her the same glass. “Here’s to… dancing?” 

“To dancing until someone plays Aitch?” 

“We’ll be dead asleep on a floor way before then.” 

It was only 12:30 a.m. to be fair. But more hours of drinking like this until someone played Taste would surely have them landed in a hospital. 

“Alright, to just dancing then, you knob,” she cursed back at him and he chuckled. 

They clinked their glasses together and slammed them back with no problem. On top of the drinks already in them, it didn’t take long for the effects of the tequila to take over. In the midst of the bodies, they were on the makeshift dance floor, dancing to the beat of every song as the alcohol coursed through their veins, as their heads spun. 

James had regained control of his own speaker from Alex and played from his playlist, which at the moment was filled with nothing but The 1975. He had saved all of their songs again in preparation for the upcoming show they were all attending, and this would have been good to practice to learn their songs if everyone going to the show wasn’t already pissed out of their minds.

The bass of She’s American thumped against the walls, surely granting them a noise complaint in the future, but the party carried on. (Y/N) danced among everyone, her hips rocking to the beat while she sang loudly. On the floor between the sofas, she could feel Adrian’s eyes on her. To be fair, his eyes hadn’t left her longer for three minutes the entire night - he was watching how she laughed with her friends, how easily she downed shots, and how she danced with the people she always told him were “just friends” for months.

She was well aware Adrian was looking when she turned to Will - Will’s hands shooting out to take hers as her body teetered and they laughed while she steadied her stance. Over Will’s shoulder when he stepped in closer, she could make out Hanna standing by the patio door, her eyes trained on them while they moved freely together.

“They’re watching us.” She thought out loud when the song changed to Give Yourself A Try. Gasps and shouts of excitement filled the room before more bodies filled the space between the two sofas, pushing everyone closer together. 

Will stood back to his normal height, eyebrow raised. “You want to give them something to watch?” He asked and she nodded innocently, not clear of exactly what his intentions were until he touched her waist. 

She followed his lead, allowing him to turn her around and step behind her, hands gripping her hips, guiding her back against his lap. The heavy beat of the song replaced the lyrics in her brain, and she rocked her hips against him to the fast tempo, the lights moving rapidly across their bodies. The idea of both of their exes watching drove them to make irrational decisions, and that included allowing them to dance this closely.

Leaning back against his chest, her arm snaked around his neck. Every move was a bad decision that night, so she was going to make all of them if it meant a little bit of revenge. 

“They made us jealous,” she whispered, head tilting back against his chest. Their breath was hot, mouths close. His eyes focused down on her, and her eyes flickered between his and his lips, then back up, “so let’s make them jealous.” 

His hand raised from her hip and grabbed her face, her hand on the back of his head, and they allowed their mouths to meet in the middle. He tasted like lime and she tasted like cherry chapstick and the tequila they had downed fifteen minutes ago, their heads were swirling. 

It was a harmless kiss, it wasn’t the first time they kissed after all. Another time, almost two years ago on a trip to Barcelona, they had too many drinks and spent the entire night after the club making out on the chaise lounge of their Airbnb while everyone else was asleep. It didn’t lead to anything and it actually became a running joke between them, because whatever attraction they had to each other, was only brought out through alcohol.

This night included. 

Because (Y/N) wasn’t sure if she would have turned around and pressed herself harder against him to deepen the kiss if there wasn’t a bit of something in her system. When she began to taste the alcohol on his tongue, the threads of her own sobriety started to weave together, and she knew this was a bad idea - kissing him like this, in a fit of petty revenge on their own exes who couldn’t help but watch on, their own anger boiling inside of them. But she didn’t care, in fact, she liked it.

When she stumbled back into the coffee table and their lips broke apart, it’s less than a second later that Will grabbed her arm and pulled her to the outskirts of the room, and her back was against the wall and his lips on hers again. That’s when she realized that maybe, just maybe, he liked it too.

***

When her eyes flutter open no less than five hours after she and Cleo stumbled back into their flat, the sun was already flooding her room through her sheer curtains. She closed her eyes again, shoving her head under the white duvet in an attempt to shield herself and her hangover from the world. No amount of painkillers or blue raspberry sports drinks was enough to fight off more or less than a dozen shots and a few drinks over the span of a few hours. 

From under the layers on her bed, she could hear Cleo down the hallway in the kitchen, flipping knobs on the stove, getting out plates. Cleo had always been an early riser no matter what the last night consisted of, and frankly, it was the worst part of being flatmates with her. She was just thankful that she made it to her bedroom and wasn’t on the sofa again, waking up to the sound of cupboards slamming at the ungodly hours of 9 a.m. on a Saturday morning. 

Cleo had found her under the covers an hour later - pushing her way into the bedroom with a plate of food in one hand and a bottle of Advil in the other. She laughed at the small ball bundled under the covers that was nursing a hangover and an upset stomach. 

“Hate yourself?” 

“What’s new,” she huffed, throwing her arms out and throwing the blanket off her. She squinted at the lights again, but her eyes adjusted quickly soon after. “What time is it?” 

“Almost ten,” Cleo said with a mouth full of toast, sitting down on the edge of her friend’s bed, holding out a plate of food. “Take a piece. I know you don’t want it, but you need it.” 

She knocked a couple tablets out of the bottle and handed them to (Y/N), allowing her to take them with the sports drink leftover on her nightstand. “Why are you up early this time?” 

“Because I didn’t drink as much as you did,” she said, taking the bottle back, holding it in her hand while she watched her shovel bread into her mouth. “And I think you are still drunk.” 

“Feel like hell,” 

“Yeah you’re still drunk.” Cleo laughed. They sat in silence for a moment, listening to the traffic on the street outside their flat, to the crunching of the toast that made them laugh together a few seconds after. “So are you going to talk to me about it?” 

She raised a brow, knocking the crumbs off her hands off the side of her bed and placing the plate on the nightstand. “About what?” She asked, her mouth still full of bread. 

Cleo deadpanned, not believing the way she was playing off the events that happened just a mere few hours ago. The entire party was talking about it, or those who were stone-cold sober anyways, and on the nightstand her phone had been blowing up for at least an hour with texts and calls about it.

“Whatever happened between you and Will last night.” Cleo continued, remembering how she found them making-out against the wall in the living room. “Because I, for one, would like to know because… what the fuck, love?” 

Moments from last night flashed in the back of her mind - the burn of the tequila, the beat of the song, Will’s hands on her hips, her tongue in his mouth - and she slid down further into the bed, hands raising up to cover her face.

“No, no,” Cleo laughed, hopping up on the bed, straddling her friend’s waist. “You have to tell me. All of us are so confused because we all saw it and we have no idea what happened. One second I was banging back a shot and another second you were banging Will.” Cleo tried to pull her hands away from her face but only received a slap to her own hands and they both laughed. 

“Because I’m not sure either,” she said as Cleo dropped her hands. “It just… happened, you know?” 

“No, love, I don’t know. I don’t know how one goes from being a strong, independent single lady to making out with one of their best friends within well… an hour?” 

“It was the tequila shots, I tell you. They never did me well.” 

Cleo shook her head and rolled off the bed, her slippers hitting the carpeted floors. “Whatever, I’ll just tell everyone you did it to make Adrian jealous.” She said walking to the door. “And come eat breakfast, I didn’t bloody slave over a stove for you to not eat.” 

Her body stilled in the bed listening to Cleo’s explanation because in truth, that’s exactly what it was. A harmless kiss to make their exes jealous did turn into much more than that, but they were successful in the attempt. 

After seeing his ex-girlfriend kiss the friend she had always been closest too, Adrian and his date stormed out to the patio, and Hanna tried mimicking them, throwing herself onto her date in a desperate attempt to get Will to notice, but he was too busy with his own agenda to even give her a glance. 

When she closed her eyes, she could still feel his hands flat against her lower back, the way his mouth slid against hers. It reminded her of the trip to Barcelona, but it felt different. It felt like this time they were more than just two drunk friends making out on a whim. And now that she was (slightly) sobered up, she didn’t know exactly how to feel about it. Her already fucked up emotions were thrown in a loop of denial, repressed heartbreak, and confusion. 

When the door clicked shut, she grabbed her phone from the nightstand and pressed the button to see the screen light up with notifications - texts, phone calls, tweets, anything and everything from those trying to reach her. 

Cleo Gallagher hi hi are you awake if you are come eat also what the fuck happened last night

Jorge Why the heck is will saying you snogged him 

James + epals alright who stole the inflatable penis from the bathroom 

She also woke up to a hefty Instagram block from Hanna, which made her double-check Adrian’s Instagram too, but his private profile (that she unfollowed in a petty fit three days ago) came up like normal. She had unblocked his number last night too in fear that he would text her after the party and she wouldn’t know, but as of that hour, nothing had come from him either. 

And in an odd sense, she was okay with that. 

Tossing the phone down on the bed, her hands met her face again and she let out a deep breath. 

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

A Family of Five- Part 4: Games and Surprises

Calum and Harlowe’s marriage hasn’t always been easy, but it has always been filled with love. This is a collaborative experience with In Sorrow and In Joy. Dad!Calum. Black OC.

CW: Over the course of this series, there are mentions of pregnancy, therapy, and postpartum depression. There is also 18+ Content (Smut). 

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No one has my permission to repost my work of fiction. This includes translations as well

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Calum shouldn’t be this mesmerized by the way her skin looks. But he swears she used some kind of sparkly body oil. The glitter sparkles in the sun, her skin looks heavenly. Much more than it normally does. Brown glistening with gold flecks. He wants it coating his tongue. He shifts a little in his seat; he can already feel the strain in his pants. Calum should be concentrating on the menu in front of him. They already spent all morning in bed. She got in late last night from her reading, due to a delay. By the time she home, the last thing she wanted to do was fool around. Calum understood. Harlowe and he snuggled up in bed and she passed out pretty soon after curling into his chest. 

However, the moment she woke up, Calum couldn’t keep his hands off her. She didn’t seem to mind either. It was slow, soft, lazy sex. Calum buried his face into the crook of her neck, inhaling the faint sweet smell of her products, a mixture of something floral and coconut. He loved it. He wants to smell it again. He wants to be gentle in the beginning this time. Her moans are so sweet against his ears, but he also wants more. He wants to hear the pleasure ripping over her throat, he wants to see her eyes roll back into her head. Her wants to see her let go. Calum should’ve offered to cook. But Harlowe wanted to try this little brunch spot that just opened and he couldn’t say no to her pout. 

She’ll only be free for a couple more days. Then it’ll be back to school for her, the end of her spring break. With the release of her new book of poetry, she got invited to a book fest. So they didn’t get to spend nearly as much time together as they both anticipated. The kids are with his parents. Moving back to Australia had its perks for sure. Though, Ashton took them for part of a day. Calum received a video of Esha and Ashton competing in DDR. Ashton’s message attached to the video was I got my ass beat by a nine year old. 

Should the entire two days they have together be spent solely in the bedroom, or whatever part of the house they happen to be in? No, Calum knows that. So he shifts again and pulls his gaze to the orange menu in front of him. It’s enough contrast to the blue shirt of his she’s wearing. She stole the royal blue button up form his side of the closet and he can’t say anything. Especially not with the way she’s left a couple top buttons undone and tied it up at the bottom. Slivers of her chest and stomach poke out. He desperately wants to run his fingers over the stretch marks he knows so well already. She looks like a fucking goddess in front of him. Going on a decade of marriage should make things stale. But things have started to heat up for them. She’s off the meds with a doctor’s approval and Calum’s enjoying the way her new energy. 

Calum glances up at her once again. She’s resting her head on the flat of her knuckles, squishing the fat of her left cheek, gaze zeroed on the menu. “You’re thinking about something,” Harlowe grins before lifting her eyes. 

The moment feels like slow motion for Calum. He can see every lash as her lids lift, her dark brown eyes landing on his. “You,” he says softly, “I’m thinking about you.”

“Well I suggest you start thinking about what you want to order. Because you got three seconds before our server comes up.”

Calum’s fucked. He has no clue what’s on this fucking menu. He doesn’t care. When the server shows up, he lets her order first and then takes the same thing. “If I told them to bring me toast and one lemon, you would be so fucked.”

He exhales a laugh. “No, I wouldn’t be. You would be though.”

“I blame the fact that I had two kids. I can eat a house and home.”

“You talk about Te Koha’s appetite, but you’re the real culprit,” he grins.

She levels a finger at him. “You shush!”

“Make me,” he laughs. Harlowe doesn’t miss the teasing lilt to his voice, the small smirk that lifts half of his lips. She’s noticed him shift in his seat several times while she was debating what to order. She knows what he wants. She will not give in that easy. He’ll have to work for it. 

“What are we? 23 again?”

The smile falls again, he exhales a chuckle. He doesn’t like being reminded of that age, much. It’s nothing against her. It’s everything against him. It was him that tried to end what they had. She had just moved to California for her master’s in poetry. They had been something a step above friends with benefits and a step below a real relationship. It didn’t seem to matter much what the label was, but Calum felt himself, dying to call her about every little thing. She was the first person he wanted to talk to in the morning and the last one he wanted to hear at night. He nearly ruined all that too. Over text message. Stupid fucking text message. 

“Hey,” Harlowe says softly, reaching for his hand. 

Calum shakes his head, sniffling. He doesn’t want to talk about it. He doesn’t want to mention how stupid he was in that moment, how terrified he was of fucking it up with the best damn person for him that he did nearly fuck it up. “It’s nothing,” he whispers.

“Nothing my black ass,” she counters, tightly holding onto his fingers. “What’s up, baby?”

He’s doing it again. The same behavior that nearly lost her sixteen years ago. “I love you,” he exhales. “A whole fucking lot. Sometimes I guess it scares me what I nearly did; I’m still so sorry about that. I know I was young, and scared, and a whole bunch of other adjectives, but I was so utterly in love with you, I didn’t know how to handle it. I didn’t want to fuck it up. I still don’t want to fuck this up. I’m scared I will.”

Harlowe fights to keep the sigh from escaping her. She’s forgiven him. She knows getting Calum to open up requires more patience than she sometimes has. But God, does she wish he’d stop beating himself up over it. What words are left for her to say? “I’ve forgiven you, Calum. It’s time you forgive yourself. You’re human. You’re going to fuck up. I don’t think less of you.”

He nods. She’s right. He really ought to forgive himself. But the words to that message are burned into his retinas some nights and days. We shouldn’t do this; I shouldn’t do this. I can’t do this. You’re too good for me and I’m no good for you. I’ll ruin you. “But how? How do I forgive myself for something like that?”

“You admit it was a mistake. One mistake, amongst a lifetime of them. One you learned from. Clearly. Because we did it. We’re doing it. We’re literally married.”

Her inflection, her laugh, makes him crack a shaky smile. He looks down to the diamond ring. They made it, they are making it each and every day together. “Sorry for bringing it up. I just...sometimes I really get hit with how much of an idiot younger me was.”

“You live; you learn. Younger me was an idiot too. The girl I told off on twitter--yeah, not my most shining moment.”

Calum chuckles, head dropping a little remembering the rant she went on. “You didn’t exactly paint a pretty picture about me either.”

“Look, I was literally months pregnant with Koha and exhausted. The last thing I wanted to do was sit back and have thousands of people judging me-us- for not marrying sooner.”

“Valid. But you didn’t have to mention the one night I partied too hard and got sick, now did you?”

“Okay, but who cleaned up your vomit that night too? Off your own fucking floor? Me. Who took Duke to the vet the next day because you literally were lying under your sheets in the dark? Me.”

Calum groans. It wasn’t a shining moment for anyone. He was only going out for a few hours. He hadn’t had a drink in a while, keeping it out of the house while Harlowe was pregnant. It was a guy’s night tradition and Harlowe told him he should go out for just a little fun. So he did. He promised to have his phone on him, volume at it’s max and on vibrate incase she needed him. She was about six months pregnant, so it she wasn’t terribly far along. Just one night out with one beer, turned in a quick too many shots in succession, a woozy Uber back home and Calum promptly vomiting on the kitchen floor trying to get some water in his system. 

Harlowe heard him from the bedroom, pushed herself out of bed and wordlessly cleaned it up. Calum can’t remember much after that but as Harlowe recounts, he almost cried because she was pregnant and he was the one acting like a child. Every other word out of his mouth was sorry because he hadn’t intended for it to get like this. Harlowe couldn’t carry him like before to the bedroom, so she shushed him and got him on the sofa. He made it only to the bed later, after waking with a killer headache. 

The server returns with their food before he can defend himself. As Calum dunks a piece of french toast into the syrup, he speaks, “Still, it didn’t need to be put on social media.”

“Well, what do you want me to do, go back in time? That science hasn’t exactly been perfected yet,” she huffs. “Besides, we didn’t have to be married at that particular moment either. All the shit we had been through, we were living at our own pace. It still makes me mad to think that some people thought you had even proposed because you felt obligated to.”

 Calum takes a strawberry off his plate and holds it out to her. “Eat this. Clearly I didn’t marry you out of obligation.”

“Strawberries aren’t going to make me calmer,” Harlowe retorts. 

Pulling up from his chair, Calum stretches across the table and drops the berry into her mouth. “Just shut up and eat. Food will make you calmer, second only to my cock,” he adds the second sentence in a whisper. Just loud enough for her to here. 

It doesn’t even shock her. Instead she smiles around her chewing. “So that’s how it is?”

Calum raises an eyebrow. “That’s how it is.”

Harlowe nods. She won’t let this go. She was going to go grocery shopping tomorrow. But now, she’s going to make him suffer a trip. Two can play this game. She plays just a little bit better too. 

Brunch finished, and bill paid, Harlowe taps her fingers on the table. “We should probably get some groceries.”

“You mean tomorrow?” He trails his fingers up the skin of her forearm. He’s waiting to see that shake of her spine, hear the chatter of her teeth. 

“I mean we’re already out now.”

Calum doesn’t let up, dragging his nails over the skin of her elbow joint. He watches her carefully, but he gets nothing. Though he can see a rigid line across her shoulders. She’s tensing, so she won’t give him a reaction. “You’re playing dirty,” he spits. It’s some pretend offense, but some of it is real. How dare she?

“Let’s go while we’re out, yeah?”

He nods. “Yeah, let’s go while we’re out.”

The actual grocery shopping goes by smoothly. Calum stirs the basket while Harlowe takes charge. It’s routine, especially if they bring the kids. Both of them like to bounce around and ask about items not on the grocery list. Sometimes they cave on the small things, but it works much faster when one of the takes lead over the trip. It’s as Harlowe browses through the choices of rice that Calum seizes his opportunity. He slips a hand into the back pocket of her jeans, resting his chin on her shoulder. 

“Can I help you sir?” Harlowe grins. Calum doesn’t miss her sharp inhale before speaking. She keeps a good game face, but he knows her buttons. 

“Just enjoying the view,” he mutters, kissing her cheek. 

A giggle escapes her before she shrugs out of the embrace. She tosses a box into the basket. Calum sighs and starts behind her again. He looks over the produce, onions and bell peppers before finding ones that satisfy him. While he ties off the bag, Harlowe walks up behind him, patting his butt and giving it a squeeze. Calum jolts before looking over his shoulder to the bright grin on her face. “You’re so proud of yourself, huh?” he asks as she scurries away. 

He catches her on the wine aisle. Initially he thought she might be down the candy aisle. But when faced with the severe lack of blue shirts and his beautifully brown wife down the aisle, he knows wine is the second place to check. She’s not drinking right now, but she still likes to keep a bottle in the house for guests. He finds her holding up two different bottles. “I can’t choose. Help, please,” she whines, a pout pulling down her pouty lips. 

“How long have you been holding those bottles?”

“For a while, waiting for you to find me.”

Calum’s laughter hits the empty air of the grocery store loudly. He inhales sharply before his laugh leaves him again. “Are you serious? Put both of them in the cart you fucking goof.”

She sets the bottles down, with a sigh. “Thanks. They were getting heavy.”

Walking around the cart, Calum holds his arms out. Only his wife, only Harlowe. They embrace and Calum still vibrates with his laughter. Before releasing the hug, Calum kisses her forehead, sliding his arms down her waist, resting on the curve to her ass. He lets his hands linger there, kneading softly, fingers playing at the loops of her jeans. 

She shoves his hips. “I’m not going to cave, not here,” Harlowe mutters. She sounds a little breathless and that’s all the reaction Calum needs. 

He grabs her chin gently, silver bracelet sliding down his slender wrist. “Oh yes, you will,” he commands. Harlowe bites down her lip, fighting her throat to keep the moan down. She can swallow it, keep it at bay. The grip tightens. He needs this. He needs her to cave, because God is he seconds from caving himself, seconds from falling to his knees in the middle of this fucking grocery store to beg for her, for her body, for her sighs, for her moans, for her hands on his skin. 

She wrestles her chin away, exhaling hard. Defying him isn’t going to end well for her. Normally defying means punishments. But he hasn’t dished out any of those in a long time. Harlowe’s toying to see if he will. Calum probably won’t. Not after her spiral from Esha, he’s been extremely gentle during sex. She’s been good too with it, except for now. Now she’s tired of it. She wants to let go finally. 

The walk to the check out is silent. As they load up all the bags into the trunk, it’s silent. It’s not until both doors are closed and seat belts are on does anyone speak. Calum starts the car, before turning to Harlowe. “What was that?”

“Disobedience,” she answers, staring straight ahead. “Which means punishment.”

Calum exhales hard. “Baby, are you sure? I don’t-I don’t want you to feel rushed into anything. I’m okay with taking things slow.”

“I’m tired of slow.”

“We can’t do some of the stuff we used to. I-I can’t just yet. I’m worried.”

“I understand. I’m not asking to dive in head first. I just am tired of slow.” Harlowe watches as Calum nods, but runs his hands through his hair. He looks too hesitant for comfort. He won’t do it, she figures. “Never mind, forget I mentioned it.”

“Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa,” Calum lifts her chin. “I didn’t say I didn’t want to touch you or have sex with you. If you’re tired of slow, you’re tired of slow. You have every right to be.”

“But you said you were worried.”

“Worried, yes. Against, no. I’m cautious. It took almost a year to get back to where we are. I don’t want to push you too fast.” Undoing his seatbelt, Calum stretches over the middle console, brushing his nose over hers. “But you’re tired of slow. So we’ll ratched it up a notch.” He seals her mouth with his. She wastes no time, parting her lips for him. Harlowe is eager to gain more than just slow, and gentle. She wants something to set her skin on fire. 

Calum doesn’t slip his tongue into her mouth. Instead he pulls away. She whines, pushing forward even with the seatbelt pulling her back. He chuckles, patting her cheek. “This is what happens when you disobey.”

Even though a whine falls past her throat, Harlowe grins. This is it. This is the feeling she missed as her fingertips start to buzz. The drive home is silent between them, besides the low hum of the radio. Calum tries to keep his hands to himself, tries to punish her like she’s asking. He just can’t help himself anymore. “Unbutton your pants,” he orders at a red light. 

“What?”

“Unbutton your jeans and get them down as far as you can,” he states again before glancing over to her. 

Harlowe lifts her hips, slowly, popping the button her light denim jeans. She wiggles them down, suddenly very aware that a lot of people could be watching her in that moment. Her underwear selection for the day isn’t the most exciting, a simple pair of black cotton underwear with lace trimming. “What if people see?” she asks. 

“Then they shouldn’t be looking. No one is watching, though.” Calum looks over again. The denim is about half way down her thighs, though she’s struggling to get them down more. “That’s good. Now sit on your hands.”

“What are you doing?”

“Just do as I’m saying, baby.”

Harlowe pulls her hips again and settles down on her hands. The moment her hands are covered by her bottom, Calum slips hand over her thighs. There’s still some firmness to them, but two children have made her soft. The cellulite is harder to miss, but the ridges underneath Calum’s fingertips are enticing. He really wants to sink his teeth into her thighs. As the urge strengthens, he squeezes at her flesh. Not enough to cause pain, but hard enough to soothe the lust. She exhales next to him, shaky.

 “Scared?” Calum asks. 

“No, horny, turned on.”

Dragging his knuckles up her thigh, he brushes over her clothed sex. The thin material is soaked already. He hums at the feeling and pushes the cotton to the side. He can feel her dripping onto his hands. Calum presses the pad of his thumb to a clit. She jolts, a hiss falling from her lips. “Did I say you could move?” Calum asks. 

“Sorry,” she sighs. 

Calum removes his thumb, sliding two fingers into her. She clenches around him, but doesn’t move this time. “Good girl,” he praises, curling them up into her. Harlowe releases another shuddery breath. Calum works his fingers inside her slowly. They’re about two minutes form the house. But he’s going to milk this. Harlowe doesn’t move in her seat but her grip on the door is deadly.

All the color is starting to drain from her skin around her knuckles. She moans occasionally, but mostly tries to keep those sounds contained too. Calum turns into the driveway of the house, putting the car in park. He pulls his fingers out of her. Harlowe starts to whine, but before the sound can fully escape her, Calum’s unbuckled himself and leaning across the way. He kisses down her jaw, inserting his fingers again. 

Her breathe is ghosting over his cheek, and his exhales are blowing right over hers. “Cum for me.” Calum’s voice is strained, desperate. Almost pained, like he’s on the edge of breaking down too, watching Harlowe’s heaving increase. 

“Fuck, shit,” she cries. She’s getting there. Her pelvic muscles are tightening around him. Her hips are lifting, her curls are pressed so deep into the headrest, if she doesn’t leave an indent, he’ll be shocked. 

“You’re so close,” he coaxes, gently grazing his teeth over his skin. Right on the cusp of her orgasm, Calum considers pulling away, making her fall apart around nothing. He wants to ruin it. And that’s what he does, right on the edge of her cry, Calum pulls away from her completely. 

Harlowe swears, slamming her palms against the door handle. Her cry is mangled. When she opens her eyes, Calum can see tears on the falling down her cheeks. With his clean hand he wipes them away. “You motherfucker,” she heaves, turning into his touch. “I hate you, a tiny bit.”

“You okay?”

She laughs, “I mean on the one hand, that was on track to be the best orgasm of my life and on the other hand, you ruined it, so...you know I don’t know.”

Calum brings his coated finger to his mouth, sucking them clean. He pulls his digits from his mouth with a pop. “Clean yourself up. There’s still ice cream and sorbet to put up.” 

Due to two kids already, they keep the vehicles well stocked with tissues and wipes. Calum hands her the packet after taking one for himself. They’re baby wipes. Harlowe reaches behind Calum’s seat and unhooks the small plastic bag they leave in for trash. He is mindful to let her get her pants back up before opening his door. 

Calum grabs two bags from the trunk when Harlowe walks around and pushes on his shoulder. The smirk on his face let’s him know everything is good. “You asked for it,” Calum counters with a pause. “Don’t get mad at me, doll.”

Harlowe huffs next to him. Calum giggles, hurrying into the house with his bags. She hates that pet name. The first time he used it, she immediately ceased him from using it ever again. He only pulls it out in instances like this, just to annoy her, to rile her up. Harlowe storms after him, careful of the paper bags in her hands. “Calum Thomas Hood!” she bellows into the house. 

Pepper halts in her run to greet Harlowe. She knows that tone. “Pepper,” Harlowe coos. “I wasn’t talking to you angel. I’m sorry.” 

Harlowe drops her bags and holds out her hands. Pepper continues over, rubbing in close to Harlowe’s embrace. Sissy and Jack come trotting over too. She scratches at their heads too. Calum rounds the corner of the kitchen, prepared for her fierce gaze, but she’s too preoccupied by the dogs. He seizes this moment and brings in the last of the grocery before locking up the car and the house. 

“Don’t think I’m not still pissed about you calling me doll just because I’m playing with the dogs.”

“You know you love it,” he teases, his sing song cadence making Harlowe melt at the sound, but also grow a bit more frustrated. She hates the term, but somehow, it’s much less grating hearing it from his lips. It’s her more Southern upbringing. She is no one’s doll, no one’s play thing. She’s not plastic waiting to be structured. But for Calum she would be. For him, she would be a doll-the most perfect one too. 

“I love you babies. But Papa Bear will eat my sorbet if I don’t hide it,” Harlowe teases.

“I bought a separate pint for me, so you shush,” Calum shouts with a chuckle. 

Harlowe kisses the top of Jack’s head. “He’ll still eat some of mine.” She takes over putting away the last of the items, not even realizing Calum has disappeared until something cold touches her exposed stomach. She jumps into Calum’s chest, he snakes his arm even further around her waist. If he’s wearing rings, Harlowe swears she’s going to lose it. She glances down to see a bracelet. A new one in addition to the silver chain from earlier. Her gaze travels up from his wrist and sure enough his fingers adorn several of his favorite rings. His left hand slides up the back of her, the cold metal biting at her neck. 

“Fuck,” she whispers. The rest of her sentence dies on her lips as he brings his hand around to her throat. There’s no pressure, he’s just cupping the front of her neck, thumb ghosting over her skin. The paper towels fall from Harlowe’s slack grasp. 

“Pick those up, doll. Put them where they belong. I’m not doing anything.”

But he’s doing everything to make Harlowe turn into putty. She bends over, grabbing the  still wrapped paper towel roll from the floor, ass lined up with his crotch. Rolling up to stand, she pops onto her tiptoes to put the roll with the others on the shelf of the pantry. Her butt pops out as she leans forward, sliding it next to other waiting roll. The pantry door closes and before she can blink, Calum grabs her hips and spins her around. As he takes a step forward, she takes one back, pressing into the woodend door. 

His fingers trail across her stomach, pulling at the knot in his shirt. It falls open, her cropped camisole rests high on her waist. Calum presses his palm into her stomach, not too hard, but enough. She holds tightly to his wrist, tugging him even closer to her. “Tell me what you’re waiting on?” She asks, grabbing the back of his neck. Her lips ghost along his jaw, up to his ear. “You’re moving too slow.”

He doesn’t want to hurt her or scare her. Calum knows, however, he has to act fast. He pushes down the shirt from her shoulders, kissing across her shoulders. Once it falls into a heap at their feet, he pulls away, undoing his belt and pulling it from the loops. He pops the button on her jeans, pulling her back into him. “You won’t be saying that again,” he warns before turninf her back around. 

Harlowe braces against the pantry door. Calum unzips her jeans before pushing them down her hips. It’s not until he starts kissing the skin exposed as he undresses her that Harlowe suddenly finds her stomach filled with butterflies. Her body has changed so much since having kids. Nothing feels firm anymore to her. It scares her to think maybe she’s not as attractive as she used to be to him. 

Calum can sense something happening in her. He bites at her right cheek. “Stay with me, doll.”

“I’m jiggly though,” she sighs. Calum pushes up from his knees, standing at the back of her. His erection brushing against her. The sensation shocks her, her core clenches. Maybe she’s wrong. 

“You feel that?” he asks, pressing harder into her. 

“Yes,” she moans. He feels painfully hard against her. 

“Jiggly or not, you are my wife. You’ve blessed me with two children and three dogs. You are stunning and incredible. Besides,” he grins, running his hand over her ass. “I like the jiggle. A lot more for me to play with. But I can show you a lot better than I talk about how attracted I still am to you.”

Harlowe chuckles, turning her head to look at him. His pupils are blown, she can barely see the brown in his eyes. The beam to his grin makes ease some of her worries. “May I?” he questions, fingers trailing over the edges of her underwear. 

“Please,” she breathes. 

Calum sinks back to his knees, kissing over the back of her thighs, before pulling her completely of her jeans. Her panties are next to go before Calum settles between her legs. She pushes off the door some more. “Fuck,” he groans. “You’re so pretty, ya know? It’s a gorgeous sight you this wet for me.”

Harlowe can’t speak before his mouth is on her, sucking hard. “Ah, shit,” she shudders at the first contact, fist slamming into the pantry door. He hums at the curse. He grabs at her thighs to keep her stance wide enough for him. Her body quivers above him. Harlowe can barely get her breath. It’s taking all her core strength to stay upright as Calum laps at her. The sounds are lewd, the slurping, the swears, the moans. 

It’s a bad idea to take a hand off the wall, but Harlowe pushes up and looks down at Calum, his tongue swirling around her clit, flicking it. She grabs a fistful of his curls and tugs on them. He releases a moan, vibrating against her. Her stomach is on fire. “I-” she starts before her orgasm crashes over her. She groans, striking the door again with a closed fist. Finally, after what feels like forever, Harlowe exhales hard before gaining her breath. “Oh, fuck,” she heaves, resting her forehead into the door.

Calum teases her entrance with his fingers. Harlowe hisses above him. His palm is soft and warm against her thighs. “Shh, it’s okay,” one hand soothes her, the other still dancing around her opening. 

“I can’t. Please.”

“Okay,” he agrees pulling away from her. Sliding out from beneath her, Calum stands. Shedding his shirt and pants, he guides her upstairs. Harlowe watches the muscles of his back work beneath his smooth brown skin. Inside the bedroom before Calum and turn around, she drags her nails across his shoulders and down his back. Her lips leaves wet kisses over his skin. Calum shiver at the love bites she leaves. Snaking her arms around, she feels over his chest and stomach, fingers playing at the chains around his neck. 

“You’re moving too slow,” he teases. It’s mostly to prevent him from buckling right here. His knees are weak. With a laugh, she pushes him towards the bed. Calum climbs onto the mattress. As he settles and turns around, Harlowe’s already shed the camisole, arms now behind her back as she works to unhook the bra. “Should’ve let me do it,” he laughs, though it fades away as the cups fall away from her body. 

“Got anything else smart to say?” 

He shakes his head, watching her saunter to the edge of the bed. She crawls up his body, stopping occasionally to leave kisses on his thighs. He closes his has as his stomach tenses. Her lips and kisses are so soft, he swears he’s going to explode. His body feels like it’s buzzing. Her fingers curl into the band of his boxer briefs. He doesn’t refute the action, lifting his hips and letting her take them completely off him. 

She settles high on him, hovering right over her cock. Calum opens his eyes, watching the smirk on her face. The warmth and wetness slide right over him. “Shit,” he huffs, watching her slide up and down his length. “Don’t do this to me, doll. Please don’t.”

Harlowe stretches forward, gently taking the lobe of his ear between her teeth. “Call me doll one more time and see what happens.”

Calum runs his fingers up her back and sides. He’s silent, waiting for her to pull back in satisfaction. He knows she will if he remains quiet and then he can go in for the kill. Sure enough, she does, Harlowe tugs on his ear one last time before pulling away. That’s when he wraps his hand around her throat, squeezing. “What was that, doll?”

The hold isn’t too tight, but it stops Harlowe in her tracks. He was just going soft on her, just to give her some semblance of control to not freak her out. Calum watches her carefully, waiting for the gulp she usually does when she’s uncomfortable. But it never comes. She keeps her eyes trained on Calum. “Sorry,” she whispers. 

“Sorry what?”

“You might have to remind me. I forget.” The statement seems believable until she cracks a smile. That’s when Calum knows she’s acting out. He brings his second hand around her throat, and pulls her face down towards him. 

“I’ll remind you,” he growls. “You’re going to take my cock. Don’t breathe. Don’t think. Just bounce.”

Harlowe lifts up, lining him up to her entrance. For a brief second she considers maybe they should use a condom. Doctors have told her getting pregnant a third time isn’t impossible it’s just improbable. They’ve already agreed to try for a third child, even if the odds seem impossible. They go without condoms sometimes. It’s usually discussed beforehand. “Would you like me to put a condom on?” he asks, grip already loosening around her neck. 

Harlowe, with a rush of boldness, presses his hand back and slides down his length. “No,” she moans. “No, I don’t.”

Calum tightens the grip. “You’re still not addressing properly.”

Harlowe pulls herself up before taking him back in. She gives no verbal response, focused slowly on the bubble of heat starting. Calum watches her bouncing on his cock. It’s a sight to behold, the curls that shake with her moment, the way her breast bounce with her effort too. A moan slips over her lips, it’s tight and quiet from the pressure around her throat. Calum takes one hand away from her throat, wrapping it around her waist. He pulls her up and close to his chest, before driving his hips up into her. Harlowe braces herself above his hand, “Shit. God, don’t stop.”

“You will address me correctly, doll.” He gives a purposefully hard thrust, before slowly sliding out. 

Harlowe whines at the lost of her orgasm. “No, please, I’m sorry.”

“Then address me properly. Sorry, what?”

“I’m sorry sir,” she cries, eyes begging him. “Please don’t stop, Sir.”

“That’s more like it,” he smiles, thrusting back into her. The sound of relief that leaves her makes Calum almost cum. Harlowe sighs above him, the sound a little high in pitch. Calum removes his hand from her throat, slowing. Harlowe takes over, sliding up and down his length. With a nipple in his mouth, Calum moans. He’s missed this. He’s craved seeing her like this. A thin sheet of sweat covers her forehead, her knees pop just a little. But it doesn’t stop her, she chases down her orgasm. 

“Shit,” she groans, clenching around him. 

Calum runs his fingers over the side of her face, moans falling from her lips before he can catch them. “That’s right, just take all of it. Just bounce, baby.”

“I’m close, sir,” she warns. Calum’s own orgasm is still far down the line. He prays she can hold out for one last orgasm. 

“Cum for me, pretty girl. Let go.” 

“I want you to cum though. I need it,” she whines. 

“Don’t worry about me. I’ll get there. Give me this one. Cum around my cock, pretty girl. Please.” Pressing his thumb to her clit, he rubs it in circles. Even though Harlowe has slowed the added sensation is too much. She cries out, spasming around Calum’s cock. 

Calum holds her close, rubbing her back through the haze. “God,” he whispers. “You ought to see how beautiful you are when you cum.”

Harlowe chuckles into his skin, though it’s hot and clammy, it smells like home. “Mirror’s right over there,” she points, still nestled onto his cock. 

“Don’t give me any ideas, pretty girl.” It’s silent for a minute as Calum gently scratches at her scalp beneath the coils wrapping around his fingers. “You okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you have one more in you?”

She might, it looks slim. Her legs already feel pretty unstable. “Would I be on my hands and knees?”

“No, we can arrange it so you’re not on your hands and knees.”

“Then, yeah, I got one more in me,” she laughs, sitting up.

“Lay on your back, baby.” Harlowe compiles. Calum hovers a for a second, drinking in the sight of her. “I know what you’re thinking. No, it’s not going to be slow. So strap in.”

His first thrust is easy, an adjustment. But three strokes later, her legs are on his shoulder, the bed rocking into the wall. Harlowe hisses a little, reaching up for him. Calum meets her with a kiss, still holding her thighs spread open. His thrust become so hard that her head falls ips over the edge of the bed. But she’s in direct view of the mirror. As the blood rushes to her head, she can see Calum’s gaze stuck on her, not even the reflection of her, just him gazing down at her. She chuckles until the pleasure catches up with her again. 

“What’s so funny?” he asks breathless as his hips continue to snap into her. 

“Someone’s working hard to put a baby in me.”

Calum grins, bending over again. He kisses her, even when he’s rough she’s still finding something to giggle about. He trails his tongue down her neck, tasting the salt of her sweat and the taste of juices still left from before mixing on his tongue. His stomach clenches. He’s not going to last much longer. But he’d like to give her that third true orgasm that he promised. So he slows a little, thrusting deeper, but slower. He circles her clit, watching as her voice comes out strained with her swear. “You gonna give me another one? You said you had one more in you,” Calum taunts.

“Faster, I need your fingers faster, please.”

He kisses on the underside of her chin. “Hmm, anything for you, baby.” Calum speeds up his fingers, feeling his own orgasm approaching faster. He won’t make it after her, but he can still make sure she sees her end. Harlowe grips tightly at his bicep, holding her head up from the edge. It hurts how close she is at this point. “God, fuck, Oh God,” she pants.

“It’s-fuck- it’s okay, baby.” Calum’s orgasm crashes over him. He knows his moaning pretty loudly in her ear, but the sound leaves him abruptly. He doesn’t still, still thrusting through the high. 

“Calum, fuck,” Harlowe growls, voice thick with something like pain and pleasure. She clenches around him, his name falling from her lips again and again like a prayer. 

Post clean up, Harlowe lays on her back, legs thrown over Calum’s waist. His fingers dance over her skin. He can see a few reddish purple marks blossoming on her skin. “Do they hurt?” he asks. 

“No. They don’t ever really hurt unless I repeatedly hit that area.”

“I know. I’m just making sure.” He takes her spoon and scoops himself some of the peach mango sorbet. 

“Hey!” she reprimands. 

“I’m too lazy to get mine from downstairs. It’s too many steps.”

“It’s a flight and a half.”

“Still too many.” Harlowe finishes the last few spoonfuls, setting the bowl on the nightstand. Calum rolls his eyes. “I only wanted the one spoonful.” As they settle back on the screen, Harlowe wraps one arm around her stomach. Something feels different. A good different. 

__

Harlowe’s hands shake. She ought to take this pregnancy test. That’s the only way to know for sure. But she can’t do it. She reschedules her OBGYN appointment too. Until next week. Next week she’ll have her bearings together. Her head will be on straighter and she won’t be thinking about what the hell she and Calum are going to do with a newborn. They’ve long gotten rid of the diapers, and the cribs. Does she really have it in her to have another baby this late?

Instead of going to her OBGYN, she ends up buying tampons and more sorbet. It’s a light period, but still a period. She should’ve known that she wouldn’t have gotten pregnant again. Part of her feels like an idiot for even thinking it was a possibility. Doctor’s told her chances would be slim. So why think that she would the special case? 

Calum knocks on the bedroom door. After work, Harlowe mentioned being exhausted, so she took a nap. “Babe, dinner’s ready,” he says softly shaking her awake. Harlowe stretches after sitting up. Calum looks at his wife. She’s mentioned being tired most days. Her appetite isn’t much of a strange from normal, though the last few weeks she’s been extra sensitive about the smeell of seafood. The same thing when she was pregnant with Esha. 

“You ought to go to that appointment, babe.”

“For them to tell me I’m broken. I know that already.”

“Maybe you aren’t. But you can’t stand the smell of seafood anymore, you’re craving nuts again. You’re tired. I think you might be pregnant.” He doesn’t want to talk to loudly, doesn’t want to give himself false hope. But the thought keeps nagging him. “You’re spotting as well. I don’t think they’re full on periods.”

Harlowe nods. Her silence speaks volumes. Calum doesn’t pushes it. He takes her hand and they walk downstairs to the dining room. “How was your nap?” Te Koha asks. 

She kisses the top of his head. “Good, very good.” She settles in at the table next to Esha. She presses several kisses to her cheek.

“Mom,” Esha huffs. Calum sits across from her, watching the way she devours her dinner. Something is definitely up. Over the weekend, Calum steals a moment to call his mother. Joy warn him he has to do something even if it means dragging her to the office. On Tuesdays, Harlowe’s classes are finished early. So he knows he has to schedule it then, but he feels horrible forcing her. Joy, on the other hand, does not feel the same way. 

Her office hours through, Harlowe starts packing her backpack when a knocks rings out. The door opens and Joy pokes her head through. “Well, isn’t this a nice surprise,” Harlowe grins, walking over to embrace her mother-in-law.

“I needed some help with something and figured I’d pop by to see if you were free.”

“Yeah classes are done, but Calum was coming to pick me up,” Harlowe states. “Let me call him, he might even be in the parking lot.”

“I didn’t see his car. But I’m not sure where he parked though.”

Harlowe gathers the last of her things and pulls out her phone. Calum answers on the second ring. “Hey, I’m leaving now. I know I’m late. Got hung up in the studio.”

“Hey. Don’t worry. Your mom’s here. She needs help. I’m going to go with her.”

“Okay. Tell her I said hi.”

“Calum says hi,” Harlowe relays moving the phone. Joy grins.

“So sorry again, babe. Lost track of time. I’m so sorry.”

“Hey, it’s okay. The kids catch the bus, so it’s all good.” They hang up shortly after and the two woman start towards the parking lot. Joy watches Harlowe closely as they walk to the car. She can feel it; Harlowe’s pregnant again. She’s not sure if it scares Harlowe to have another child and that’s why she refuses to believe it. But whatever the case it is, clearly the woman knows something is up. She avoids deli meats, she doesn’t drink alcohol, has quit caffeine all together, everything she should be doing in pregnancy. She knows. But why does she not believe?

During the ride, Harlowe notes the strange route. But feels a bit rude questioning Joy. When they pull up in front of the small beige brick building, Harlowe sighs. “I should’ve figured.”

“You need to know. It’s been nearing what ten, eleven weeks at this point? You’re starting to show.”

Harlowe snaps her head over to the older woman. “Show? I’m two ounces short of being a keg. I am not showing; it’s not baby fat.”

A soft grin plays over Joy’s lips, all too similar to Calum’s. She doesn’t mean weight wise. It’s written across the glow in her skin. She is showing without even realizing.  “Then let’s find out, yeah?” The women climb out of the car and Joy takes Harlowe’s hand. “I know. You are pregnant though.”

It’s not nerve wrecking when she signs in her appointment. It’s not nerve wrecking waiting for the nurse to call her back. Harlowe doesn’t have nerve, listing the symptoms. It’s only when they break out the sheet to protect her skirt that the nerves start. Harlowe clutches Joy’s hand when they doctor slips on the gloves. She is pregnant. She knows it. She just didn’t want to be wrong. She couldn’t stand the thought that she the test would come back negative. That all those things were just her brain thinking, wanting a baby so bad, it played this trick on her. Harlowe stares up at the ceiling. She can’t bare to watch a blank screen. 

Thump-thump, thump-thump echoes around the room. Harlowe’s eyes sting with tears. That’s all she needs to hear. “Call Calum, please?” she cries to Joy. “Please. He needs to hear. Can she please call my husband?”

The doctor grins and a nurse exits the room. “Give us one moment, okay?”

Harlowe wipes her tears, staring at the monitor. The door creaks open again. She turns to the sound to see Calum. He walks far enough inside and have the door close, but the heartbeat echoing makes him stop. That’s his baby’s heartbeat. Tears slip down his cheek and Harlowe laughs. “God, we’re both a hot mess of tears.”

“You’re pregnant?” he breathes. 

She nods, the stiff paper of the bed crinkles under her movement. “I am. That’s our baby.”

Calum rushes over, burying his face into her shoulder. His tears are hot even through the cotton off her t-shirt. Inhaling deeply, Calum looks to the screen again. That’s his baby. His miracle, his next little one. The joy coursing through his veins lights his bones on fire. Though the late nights are tortuous, and changing diapers are not ideal again, after nearly seven years of not having to do it, he is fucking ecstatic. 

Harlowe has been dying for a third baby and he wanted nothing more than to give that to her. It was out of his hands, it was up to the numbers, gods, and chances. But he prayed for it, he begged to the high heavens to give this to her. She needed a good thing in her corner after her long battle. He knew she didn’t take him for granted, but there’s nothing quite like knowing something is sort of within reach and never being able to reach it. Until now. 

Calum turns his gaze, though blurry and watery, down to Harlowe. He wraps an arm around her hair and head, kissing her forehead repeatedly. “I love you,” he breathes into her skin. “And this baby.”

Harlowe holds to his bicep, pressing her face into the flesh and dense muscle. “I love you too. I’m so sorry I didn’t go sooner. I am so fucking sorry.”

“It’s okay. You were smart about your diet. You knew. And now you can believe it. It’s okay. I’m here.”

“But what if I wasn’t. What if I fucked up.”

“Then it would be a mistake. One among a lifetime of many. We would’ve handled whatever came our way, together. Right?”

“Always together.”

Back in the car, Harlowe hold the print out of the sonogram, gently rubbing her fingers over it. She was smart and Calum would always be right by her side. “So, are we good on babies?” Calum asks. 

“God, yes. No more, please.”

Calum laughs, grabbing her knee. “I have a consultation next week.”

They’ve weighed their options. Calum’s against her going in major surgery. Though Harlowe’s response is that a vasectomy is still surgery too. “What if I wasn’t pregnant?”

“Then I would’ve cancelled it, unless we were done trying.”

“Well, I’m done trying,” she laughs. 

“Should I schedule before or after the birth?”

“Before,” she whispers. Though worry flashes through her veins, she feels like waiting won’t help her. She prays nothing happens in this pregnancy, but part of her is tired. If she’s not meant to have a third child, then she’s not meant to birth a third child. There are still other options. 

“You’re worrying again. None of that. That’s our little one growing in you. It’s all going to be okay.”

She nods, though he can’t see it. It’ll all be okay.

[beanfic]

Simple Mistake - Ch.2

Pairing: Tyler Joseph x reader

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: aftermath of drinking (so throwing up lol), some good ol’ angst and i think that is it?

Author’s note: chapter 2! i hope you guys enjoy and i’m sorry for making tyler a big ol’ cheater cheater pumpkin eater.

Chapter 1 || next chapter

You barely had a chance to process what just happened before a wave of nausea hit you, and you moved as quickly as your legs could take you towards the restroom. You slammed open a stall and spewed your guts, which was mostly just alcohol, into the toilet.

“I’m so stupid,” you muttered. You sat on your knees in front of the toilet, and while you were sitting still, the ground beneath you was moving. You knew you had to stand up and go find your friends to take you home, but you weren’t sure if you were capable of having that fine of motor skills.

“You doing okay?” a voice chirped from outside of your stall. 

“Yep,” you snapped back. 

“We have to pee, get off the floor!” another voice shouted. You responded back with a groan as you lifted yourself off the floor, flushing the toilet. You opened the door and rushed out of there, forgetting about the fact that you didn’t even wash your hands. 

You pushed yourself through the busy crowd, not caring about personal space or anything. Your only goal was to reach either Josh or Y/F/N. The faster you moved, the more the floor would spin underneath you, and it was difficult for you to even walk straight.

“Y/N?” You spun around quickly at the sound of your name, but the floor that your feet were once on was quickly heading to your face. Right before you landed on the floor, you collided into arms that held you up. “I got you.”

“Josh?” You looked up at the familiar face. 

“Are you okay? What’s going on?” his words slurred together, but you still understood what he was asking. 

You shook your head, “I want to go home.” 

“Okay, let’s find Y/F/N and Tyler.”

“He’s g-gone,” you stammered. Your arm was wrapped around Josh’s shoulder as he supported you. You watched him wave Y/F/N over.

“What happened?” they asked as they moved some of your hair out of your face. 

“I’m not sure but I think it’s time to go home. I’m not sure where Tyler went. Can you call an Uber while I call him?” Josh was instantly sobering up as he knew that he needed to take care of you. 

“Yeah, c’mon Y/N, let’s go outside and get some fresh air.” They took your arm so it was wrapped around their neck, and their hand wrapped around your waist. You took slow and steady breaths, making sure you didn’t puke again or pass out. 

It was around 2 am and the street lamps were the only source of light on the empty street. The rain was slowly falling on your face, but it felt good after you were stuck inside the hot and crowded bar. 

“What happened?” they asked you. You couldn’t even lift your eyes to look at them.

“He kissed m-me.” Once you spoke those words, the tears came instantly. Y/F/N’s arms were around you quickly, rubbing small circles into your back.

“What do you mean? Tyler did?”

You nodded, “he asked me t-to, and I d-didn’t stop him. He has a girlfriend, I’m an i-idiot.” 

“You are not an idiot, you both were drunk.”

“I t-told him.” You couldn’t stop shaking your head. 

“How you feel?”

“Yes, and then he kissed me!” you shouted with anger. You weren’t sure which emotion you were supposed to feel right now, as your brain felt like a jumbled mess. 

“Y/N, shh, it’s okay. You can talk to him tomorrow.” 

“Is everything okay?” Josh finally came outside and met up with you two.

“The uber should be here in like ten minutes, did you get a hold of Tyler?”

Josh nodded, “He took an uber home and is back at the apartment. He didn’t tell me what happened though.”

“He kissed me,” you blurted out.

“What?” Josh whipped his head around to where you were standing. He noticed your swollen, red eyes and came over to give you a hug.

“I told him that I like him and he kissed me,” you repeated once again, but this time more calmly. You were sobering up quickly, most likely because you had thrown up almost all the contents inside your stomach. 

“But Jen,” Josh whispered.

“You don’t think I know that?” you shoved Josh away, tears once again forming.

“Y/N-”

“I don’t know what to do.”

“You won’t be able to do anything about it tonight,” Y/F/N spoke. “We need to just go home and we can figure stuff out tomorrow morning.”

“Okay,” you sniffled. 

The Uber finally arrived and you laid on Y/F/N’s lap in the back, while Josh took the passenger seat. 

“I don’t want to go home,” you muttered.

“Hm?” Josh turned around.

“I don’t want my Mom to see me like this and I don’t want to tell her what happened.”

“You can stay at the apartment and sleep in my bed, I can take the couch,” Josh suggested, knowing that Y/F/N didn’t have room.

“But Tyler.”

“He always sleeps in, and you can leave tomorrow morning.”

“Or you guys could talk about it tomorrow as well,” Y/F/N advised.

“I don’t ever want to face him again,” you closed your eyes tightly.

“It’s okay,” Josh reached back and rubbed your shoulder. 

Once the Uber reached the boys’ apartment, you were almost sobered up. It was around 3 am, and all you wanted to do was go to sleep. You followed Josh into his apartment, knowing that Tyler was probably asleep in his room.

“Feel free to sleep in my pajamas, they’re in that drawer,” he nodded towards his dresser. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

“Thank you, Josh. Goodnight.” 

“Night, Y/N. Sleep well.” He started to close the door but opened it back up again. “You know, Y/N, sometimes drunk actions can reveal sober thoughts,” and then he shut the door before you could ask him what he meant. 

Was he talking about Tyler’s sober thoughts? Was he saying that Tyler also shared the same feelings for you? But he was with Jen? You rubbed your temples, you really needed to get some rest before the hangover kicked in. 

Josh’s clothes were huge on you, but you didn’t care. You shuffled under the comforter and closed your eyes. The memory of Tyler’s lips kissing you replayed itself over and over. The way he smelled, the way he tasted, everything, wouldn’t leave your mind. 

You felt like you were exactly where you were supposed to be, and you so badly wish Tyler didn’t react the way he did. Did he kiss you only because him and Jen were fighting, or did he kiss you because he shared the same feelings? Was he going to be upset at you in the morning? Would this ruin your guy’s friendship? Questions swirled in your brain until slowly you drifted out of consciousness.

“Tyler,” you mumbled in your sleep. “I love you.” 

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Tylers POV 

“Shit, shit, shit” I muttered under my breath as I speed-walked out of the bar, not even looking behind me. My lips were still tingling from the kiss that I just shared with Y/N. Once I was out in the fresh air, I took my phone out and scheduled the closest uber to take me to the apartment.

I was upset at myself, not for kissing Y/N, but for doing it drunk. I didn’t understand what was going on with me. Obviously, I was drunk, but was it my true feelings coming out? I thought I had gotten over Y/N a while ago, especially when I started dating Jen. 

Jen.

Her face flashed in my brain. I should call her, but then again maybe I shouldn’t. It was just one kiss. One harmless kiss. Right?

The uber picked me up and I stayed silent the entire ride. Mostly because I was starting to feel nauseous from all the alcohol that was swirling in my stomach, but also because I knew if I spoke I would most likely end up crying. 

I thanked my driver and rushed inside the apartment. I needed to get out of this shirt and tight jeans. The shirt that Y/N said they liked. Their voice wouldn’t leave me head.

“I like you.” They said those words directly to me. Yes, they were drunk also, but what if they meant it. What if I blew it all that time ago with being oblivious. 

My stomach growled, and I remembered that I haven’t had that much to eat. It was almost one, but I decided to have some cereal. Most of the milk ended up on the counter as I drunkenly poured it into the bowl. Right before I took my first bite, my phone rang. 

“Hello?” I answered.

“Tyler? Where are you?” It was Josh.

“I’m at home,” I slurred. 

“Why did you leave without us.”

“I needed to leave.” I was being short with him, but I didn’t feel like explaining that I just kissed my best friend when I also have a girlfriend. 

“Did it have to do with Y/N?”

“Why are you asking that?” I snapped.

“They ran out of the bathroom crying, literally fell into me.”

I gulped, “I don’t know. I’m going to bed, be quiet when you get home.”

“Tyler, man.”

“I don’t want to talk about it, Josh.”

“Okay, goodnight Ty. Please be safe.”

“I will, you too. Goodnight Josh.” I hung up the phone and buried my face in my hands. I felt horrible knowing that I made Y/N cry, but I panicked and did the one thing I was good at. Running away from troubles. 

I knew that I needed to sleep. I already was going to be extremely hungover in the morning, and I was going to have to talk to Jen, and Y/N most likely, and figure stuff out. I quickly finished the cereal, already sobering up from the food inside my stomach, and headed up to bed. 

I quickly fell asleep with one person on my mind. Y/N. The kiss was on replay throughout the entire night in my dreams, and I woke up with one person on my mind as well. 

“Y/N,” I mumbled as I slowly opened my eyes, the pain instantly rushing to my head. I groaned and flipped away from the bright sun that was shining in from the window. 

I reached over to grab my phone, noticing that I had five missed calls and ten tex messages from Jen. I swore under my breath and opened them up. 

Jen: Tyler?

Jen: are you home?

Jen: are you okay?

The rest of the messages were like that as well. I ran my hand through my messy bed head as I typed out a reply.

Tyler: sorry, i just woke up and my phone died last night. 

Her reply was almost instant as if she was staring at her phone waiting for me. 

Jen: don’t lie to me, Ty. that’s BS and we both know it. your phone was on.

I groaned and locked my phone. It was too early in the morning to deal with her, and my head was absolutely killing me. I decided that taking a shower was probably the best idea. I walked out of the hallway towards the bathroom that Josh and I share, and looked across at Josh’s room. I thought about seeing if he was awake so I could tell him what happened last night, but I decided against it. 

The shower was exactly what I needed to make my body feel better physically, but my brain would not stop replaying the moments of last night. Every time I thought about the kiss, my heart would flutter and my stomach would feel like there were butterflies in it. 

It didn’t take a genius to figure out that I still had feelings for Y/N, despite my best efforts of trying to get over them. The next step was to figure out what to do with these feelings. Was I supposed to break up with Jen? Was I supposed to forget about Y/N?

“Tyler?” a knock on the bathroom door broke me from my train of thought.

“What?” I shouted as I turned off the water and grabbed a towel.

“I made eggs if you want any,” Josh’s voice came from outside the door. “Also, Y/N is asleep in my bedroom.”

“What?” I shouted as I slammed open the door.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Tag list: @nonsenseverses​ @patdsinner33​ let me know if anyone else would like to be added!

[whereisten]

The Agreement

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Summary: Vampire!Sicheng needs a new toy and he just so happens to find you, a struggling college student that would literally give up a few drops of blood for some quick cash. An agreement is reached, you are told that you are strictly forbidden from falling in love. You are to only show up, give blood, get money. Seems pretty easy, right?

Pairing: Vampire!Sicheng X female reader

Genre: (emboldened words signify what this specific part has): angst, smut (nothing intense, mostly suggestive), fluff, violence (very brief)

Chapter Warnings: some cursing, alcohol mention

Word Count: 5.8K

(A/n: Frat Boy!Jaehyun returns! This is the same Jaehyun and y/n from It Only Takes One Night, you can read that one first to get a little back story, but they broke up and now he’s back, hopefully this makes sense)

——————————

Bella watches as you separate the M&M’s in your ice cream sundae by color. You frowned and pushed the red to the left and the blue to the right.

“Okay..so do you wanna talk about it?” Bella sighs.

“What happened with you and your boss?”

It’s been several weeks since you’ve seen Sicheng. That night paused your daily visits because he claimed that you’d be drawn to him and it wouldn’t be healthy.

“Nothing..” you held your head in your hand and looked at the melting ice cream. It reminded you of your heart and body, melting and without proper form. You not only missed Sicheng, you yearned for him.

Your body didn’t function properly and your mind couldn’t focus on anything for more than four seconds.

“You didn’t even say anything in Edwards’ class when he called on you today and you know participation is like fifty percent of our grade...” Bella tapped the table in the ice cream parlor, Scoups Ahoy. She was slightly annoyed at how short and off you were being.

You couldn’t explain it to her, there’s no way she’d understand. And even if she did, the first thing she’d do is go after Sicheng and scold him for doing this to you in the first place.

“It’s..nothing Bella, I promise. I—just have a lot on my mind.” You looked up and gave a small smile.

“So you’re taking a break from your job..I think that’ll be good for you..I mean, it’s good money, but you should focus on school first.” Bella gave you the motherly talk like she always did. And while on most occasions, it did help to ease your anxiety, it didn’t on this one.

But you had to pretend.

“Thank you, Bella.”

Bella nodded then started to talk about how cute the ice cream guy was and then she started to talk about a new basketball player she had a crush on.

Your mind started to drift again. You saw Sicheng’s beautiful, dopey smile, the way his mouth moved when his deep voice left his soft lips, the way his eyes creased when he laughed. You missed the feeling of his soft, cold fingers against your skin when he inserted the needle. His scent, the smell of sandalwood, just strong and prevalent enough that it filled his house. Oh, and his cute, elf-shaped ears, and—

“Hey! Over here! I’m talking to you!” Bella waved a hand in your face, you didn’t notice that you started smiling as you thought about Sicheng.

“Oh. I’m so sorry, I’m kinda tired..”

Bella crosses her arms. “You slept for most of the day”

“You have a point, but I promise I was listening!” You sat up straight.

“Oh really? What’s his name?” Bella asked.

“His name’s Sicheng and he’s super cute and nice..” you melted in your seat and put your chin in your hand. But you looked up to see Bella’s look of disappointment.

“...oh, wait, you meant the name of the uhh basketball player or the ice cream guy?” You closed your eyes and prayed that Bella would let you live just this once.

“Huh...so that’s what’s going on..you’ve fallen for your boss? Really, y/n!” Bella gasped.

You sighed. Oh no.

“No, no..I haven’t..fallen for anyone since you-know-who, it’ll stay that way for a while.”

Bella rolled her eyes. “Hmmm..sure.”

“I wanna go home, I should—study.”

But you didn’t need to study, you needed to see Sicheng. You craved him.

—————

It was the next day when you decided to see Sicheng for the first time in three weeks. You couldn’t take it anymore, you had to see him. You would’ve gone to him the night before, but you knew Bella would’ve asked too many questions, so you waited until today.

She went to her class while you decided to skip yours and take an Uber to him.

You’re nervous and fidgety as you wait for Sicheng to open the door, but when he finally does you nearly jump out of your skin.

Sicheng looks even more radiant than usual. His eyes are deep and sensual, his button down shirt reveals his chest and his dress pants hug his waist nicely. He’s such a gentleman, you forgot that sometimes he felt more comfortable dressed this way, even when inside his own home. And God, does he smell good.

why did he look so good? did he find someone to replace you already? You became jealous at the thought that Sicheng would have someone else over to feed him, but you weren’t sure why. He had to survive with or without you.

You want to hug him and hold him, to feel his hands on your body, but you can’t. You stand there stupidly.

“I—uh—Sicheng,” you took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry...but my chest is on fire..I had to see you.”

Sicheng parts his full lips and looks at you sadly. He wished you hadn’t come back, he wished to never see your beautiful face again. “I know..”

From the moment Sicheng opens the door, he can already tell from the expression on your face what you need him to do, but as much as he’d love to do it, he can’t hurt you like that. Giving in will only make the addiction worse.

“Sicheng, I need you, I’ve tried to stay away but I can’t.” You begged but he shook his head.

“Y/n...I told you we can’t. It’s not gonna get better...it’ll only get worse.” He searches your tired eyes. You look weak and dull, the bags under your eyes told him you were really having a difficult time. He wants to hold you, but he doesn’t.

He knows he can’t just leave you outside or alone. You could find someone else, someone like Ben to satisfy your craving for the feeling, and he knows that they’d gladly do it too.

He closed his eyes and sighed. “Okay..come inside.”

You smiled and happily walk in, taking your usual seat while Sicheng walks behind you.

He hooks up the machine that takes out your blood.

Your head falls back as you focus on the feeling of your warm blood leaving your veins and entering the blood bag. It feels good, not as good as Sicheng, but the feeling is enough to satisfy your longing for a bit.

“The only thing we can do is go back to our regular schedule, that way, you’ll get used to giving your blood this way alone.” Sicheng’s tone is very serious as he sits down on the couch across from you.

He can’t help but think about the other lives he’s ruined by growing too attached to them. He only hopes to help you, and not hurt you in the end.

He knows he should’ve never made direct contact with you, for you both start to feel a craving for each other.

You frown and look at the floor after Sicheng doesn’t turn on the TV like he usually does and doesn’t talk to you.

“How have you been?” You ask, trying to break the silence.

“Good.” Sicheng says through a tight mouth.

“Why don’t you play your favorite Twilight Zone episode?”

“It’s alright.” Sicheng got up from the couch and walked upstairs.

You wondered what did you do wrong. It seemed like he couldn’t stand to be around you. Did he dislike you now?

It’s during your third visit since you’ve started again that Sicheng starts to act normal.

He watched the Adams Family with you and you two laugh together.

He still gets sad when he looks at you, but he is happy to see that you are already feeling better.

“I’m doing better in class Sicheng, thank you.” You smile at him while he sits on the couch in a T-shirt and pajama pants. He looks very relaxed for once.

He doesn’t say you’re welcome because you should’ve never started doing poorly because of him in the first place.

He nods and smiles softly,making your chest go wild with butterflies when he looks your way.

Over time, the bond between you two strengthens each day you go over. You start to spend more time at his place, eating whatever he cooks and listening to his stories even after you’ve given him the lood he needs.

“How many guests do you cook for? This baked potato is the BOMB.”

Sicheng blushed. “You think so?”

“Yeah! It’s almost as good as my mom’s cooking! You have to try it one day!—oh..I’m sorry.” You paused when you realized your mistake.

Sicheng only laughed. “It’s okay, dear.”

You sighed and put your plate down. “I’m very excited for winter break, I finally get to go home and see her, I miss her..a lot you know.”

Sicheng looked to the TV and frowned. “You should tell her you love her and visit her often. Life..goes by quickly.”

“I will, and thanks to you, I can actually send her gifts and give her everything she deserves.” You grinned. You thought of how happy your mom was now that you made more money and are able to completely support yourself. She didn’t have to be so stressed all the time and you were thankful for that.

He smiled “good.”

“And to answer your question, you’re my only guest so I have to make sure I get these meals right.”

—————

Sicheng starts to get used to you asking many questions about his life.

“The vampires won the war for Americans but they’ll never teach you that at your fancy college.” Sicheng told you about World War II while watching you eat the chicken Alfredo he made. He was quite a good chef for a guy that thought all food tasted like pig lard. He always seemed to know the right amount of seasoning and salt to put into his food.

“Why didn’t you guys claim the victory? Why do you hide?” You swallowed hard and waved your fork.

Sicheng laughed at your stuffed cheeks. He thought you were so cute, especially when you innocently asked questions.

“We feel it is best to be in the shadows, for humans have a tendency to ruthlessly kill what they don’t understand and/or control. We could easily overrule you, but you’re also our main food source.”

You raised your brows, “well, you do have a point.”

The next visit, you watched Alfred Hitchcock’s movie Veritgo and laughed at the strange angles and overly dramatic turns and gasps.

“This movie was quite the game changer back in my day, and here we are, laughing at it.” Sicheng turned to you, watching your eyes focus on the screen.

He felt something in his chest as he watched you. You were innocent, kind, and beautiful, unlike any other actress he’d ever seen.

“‘Back in my day’ yeah okay, old man.” You tease him, and poke his side while you both laugh. You didn’t notice that as you had more visits, you started to get closer and closer physically to each other on the couch.

His icy body cools down your heated one. You still crave his touch and the feeling of him draining you, but it’s not even remotely as strong as it was before.

You were happy to just be with him again, and without much thought, you blurt out a question you probably shouldn’t have asked your “boss.”

“So, remember when I said I couldn’t wait to go home for the holidays?”

“Yes.” Sicheng turned to you and looked at your lips. They were so close to his, he got distracted for a moment but quickly looked up to your eyes.

“So..my mom’s...uh having this...Christmas dinner..it’ll just be the two of us, but..I” You looked to the art on the wall behind Sicheng to distract yourself, but his gaze was too strong, you had to look back at him.

You pushed yourself up on the couch more, folding your legs under your butt.

“..I was wondering if you’d like to come over..I mean since you’ll be alone, you know.. and my mom is really sweet and I told her about you..she wants to meet you..and...and you wouldn’t have to spend Christmas alone..”

Sicheng wanted to say yes, he had spent so many Christmas’ alone, he wanted to have an experience with a family for once. And he wanted to meet your mom, whom he was sure was just as adorable and kind as you were, but he knew he shouldn’t.

He frowned as he came to the realization that you saw this more than a boss and worker relationship. You saw this as something more and he did too. You two were getting too close and he felt he had to stop it.

“No, y/n, I’m sorry but I don’t think it would be appropriate.”

Sicheng looked away from your sad face and to the TV.

“We should keep our relationship professional.”

You scooted away a bit and nodded, trying to hide the pain you felt from his abrupt answer and unusually cold tone. “You’re absolutely right, I’m sorry...well..I should get going.”

Sicheng is devastated by your somber tone and almost immediately hates himself for making you upset, but it had to be done. He wanted to protect you.

As you were about to leave, Sicheng turned you to face him. He lowered his face towards yours and looked into your eyes deeply.

“When will you be back?” Sicheng asked, eyes glued to your lips.

“In January...I’ll call you.” You were distracted by his full lips just inches away from yours. You were still hurt that he said no, but being this close to him made you weak. There was something so magnetizing about him.

Your large eyes looked up to him, waiting for him to close the gap.

He nodded and forced himself to pull back and away from you.

He smiled as he watched you walk briskly to your building to avoid the sharp breeze and cold temperature he was so accustomed to.

But the ache he felt in his chest as he watched you leave worried him. Perhaps things have already gone too far.

—————

You jump into your mom’s arms when you open the door to your house. You’ve finally made it back him for Christmas, and you are beyond excited to spend time with her.

“Oh, my baby!! I’m so happy you’re home! But—look at you, are you eating well? Are you sleeping?” Your mom’s worried face move closer to yours as she pinches your cheeks.

She’s looking at every wrinkle and every pore to make sure you’re okay.

You had to admit, you did look kind of tired since you had been giving blood three days out of the week.

“Yeah, Yeah, I’m fine mom! It smells so good in here!” You hug her tightly and walk in.

The two of you talk about school and work. She starts to ask about the enormous cash flow you’ve gained, so you try not to give too much information away.

“So..this job, what kinda boss has you go to his house?” Your mom asks as she puts the green bean casserole in the oven.

You lean against the door frame and look at the apple you’re munching on. “Well..I kinda have to go into his house if I’m getting paid to clean it, mom.”

You told her that you just had to clean the house of a bachelor who had parties and guests over frequently. You had to be there three days out of the week because the place would get too messy after every party. But this was far from the truth. You hated having to lie to her, but telling her that your boss was actually a sugar daddy that needed blood and not sex wasn’t really an option.

“Oh, but honey are your sure it isn’t tiring? How do you have time to study and eat?”

She turns to start washing some dishes.

“It’s alright. I’m managing everything pretty well, actually!” You said with a full mouth. She gave you a look and you laughed before swallowing.

“Sorry..”

Then you heard a knock on your door.

“Who’s that? Do they really send Jehovah witnesses out on Christmas Day now?” You asked.

“Oh no..that must be..” your mom hesitated.

You looked at her questioningly.

“Um..sweetie, I hope you don’t mind that I invited Jaehyun over for dinner.”

“You WHAT?” You nearly bit your tongue when his name left her mouth.

Jaehyun was your ex-boyfriend, the you-know-who that you decided to never talk about. He hurt you, so you broke up with him a year ago. The pain was still fresh, but your mom didn’t know that part. You decided not to tell her why you and Jaehyun broke up so she didn’t understand the magnitude of it all.

She always loved Jaehyun and found him to be adorable and sweet. She loved it when you took him home and the three of you spent time together. She thought he was perfect for you and that you’d eventually get married some day, but she was wrong. The dimpled and irresistible boy wasn’t as sweet as he seemed.

Your mom quickly dried her hands and walked towards you. “You know, he has no one to spend it with since his father passed away in March and his mom went back home to Korea. It’ll be his first Christmas without a family and—I just couldn’t bare to leave him on his own for today.”

“Mom! You know how I feel about him! How could you invite him without asking me first?” Furious was an understatement. You knew your mom just wanted to be nice and she thought you ended things on good terms, but she was wrong. She always had a good heart and wanted to do what was right, but why did it have to be at your expense?

“Honey..I’m sorry, but it won’t be that bad..it’s only for a few hours, okay?” She brushed past you to get to the front door.

“Are you sure he’s not your ex?!”

You rolled your eyes, but she waved a hand to you before unlocking the door.

“Oh, hello!! Jaehyun, it’s so nice to see you.” Your mom hugged the grim reaper with a killer smile tightly as he stood in your door way. You watched from far away. Part of you wanted to drop kick him back outside and into the cold, the other part wanted to cry. You avoided him on campus successfully and now, here he was in your house, hugging your mom who was just too nice sometimes.

He smiled and handed your mother a large and neatly wrapped box.

“Thank you for having me, I’m..very grateful.” His smiled made your mom blush as she took the gift and placed it under the tree.

He took his coat off and placed it on a hook by door before walking towards you. He stopped before going to hug you. “Y/n..it’s nice to see you again.” he said smoothly.

You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms. “I can’t say the same, but it’s Christmas, so welcome to my house.” You gave a sarcastic smile.

He chuckled and looked down at you fondly. “Nothing about you has changed..”

“I’m not the one that needs to change, Jaehyun.”

“You’re right, but I did miss you.” Jaehyun’s eyes grew as he searched your face and stepped closer.

You waved your hand. “Don’t...you’re having dinner with us, and you’re leaving.” You whispered so your mom wouldn’t hear.

“We’re never speaking again after tonight.”

Jaehyun gave a small smile and nodded. “As you wish, princess.” Your mom cut around the corner and hurriedly walked to the kitchen. “Everything is almost ready!” “What can I help you with?” Jaehyun asked your mom, still engaging in your stare down. “Oh, nothing really, honey, I just have to mash the potatoes.” Your mom yelled out from the kitchen. “Oh great! I’ll put these strong arms to good use!” Jaehyun smirked and walked past you while rolling up his sleeves. Your mom and Jaehyun laughed and conversed in the kitchen while you sat on your couch, staring through the window. It was difficult to not think about Sicheng and how badly you missed him. You wondered what he was doing, if he was spending time with anyone else. You wanted to text him, but the old man rarely had his cell phone on him. You opened the text box to wish him a merry Christmas but remembered the look on his face when you said goodbye. He looked upset, nervous. You both knew that you were getting close and the boss-worker relationship without emotional investment that you tried to maintain was failing. All the glances, the smiles, the soft touches and unnecessary closeness of your bodies told you that there was something more. But you couldn’t break his rule. You signed an agreement, however, your heart couldn’t stop itself. You sighed. You knew you would just have to deal with the consequences of your easy heart feeling stupid things again. That’s when you notice a car pull into your drive way. You sat up on the couch and wondered who else was here for dinner, your fourth grade crush maybe? The car was nice, expensive, and as it pulled in closer you recognized the gold logo on the hood. It was a Lamborghini. Sicheng? You jumped up and threw on your jacket before heading out. He turned his car off and opened his door before stepping out. “Sicheng? What are you doing here?” Your face beaming, you never thought you’d see him. He looked amazing as usual. He wore a black suit and black turtle neck. A gold necklace hung from his long neck and shiny gold Rolex stuck out on his slim and pale wrist. His hair was parted to reveal his forehead and brought out his flawless face. He smiled when he saw you. You hugged him on impulse, wrapping you arms around his neck and tip toeing up. “I’m so happy you’re here.” Sicheng patted your back and smiled, but cleared his throat. He had to remember to keep his distance. You pulled away. “Oh—I’m sorry.” Your smile faded. He couldn’t help but smile when he looked at you, even cold-hearted vampires had a weakness for soft, beauties like you. And what was wrong with a simple hug. “It’s okay..I quite liked that, actually.” You chuckled. “How did you find me?” “I have connections, it wasn’t difficult...and I only came to uh..make sure you eat healthily.” Sicheng looked up and put his hands in his pockets. “I know some college kids let themselves go during the Holidays and I can’t drink blood with too much fat in it..” You smirked. “Riiiight. I’m sure that’s why you came.” You took his hand and led him inside. “You gotta meet my mom!” You introduce Sicheng to your mom who is more than delighted to see that he could make it. Jaehyun, on the other hand, looks at Sicheng in irritation. For once, he isn’t the main star. Jaehyun was gorgeous, he was like a model that just stepped out from a poster for a high-end designer brand, he was perfect. But Sicheng was equally as striking, he had no imperfections and had a killer smile as well. While the four of you are at dinner, Sicheng talks about what he does, of course, he makes something up to appear “normal,” but your mom is loving it. “Wow, you’re a well accomplished young gentle man.” Your mom says before handing him the bowl of salad. She’s surprised that he speaks like a jazz pioneer, but of course he does, he was born in the 1900s. She thought he was just “old school.” “And you sound so intelligent, tell me, are you sure you were born in the late 90s?” You choke on your egg nog and laugh. Oh the irony of it all. Sicheng laughs too. “Well, that is what my birth certificate says.” His eyes crinkle while you watch him and smile. Jaehyun rolls his eyes every time Sicheng speaks. He doesn’t believe anything that he says and is clearly jealous of the money he has. You smirk as you look up at him across from you, you’re happy now that Sicheng’s here and he’s annoyed by that. Sicheng pretends to enjoy the food your mom has cooked. You’re surprised and happy that he’s done that because he once described real food as tasting like fatty balls of salt, but he eats it and smiles because he doesn’t want to insult your mom. Your mom starts to talk about school with Jaehyun so you look at Sicheng as he struggles to swallow his food. “Thank you” You mouth and he winks. 

The entire dinner is filled with smiles and laughter while you blush and look at Sicheng. Whenever you speak, he tilts his head and smiles as well, loving the way your mouth moves and your cheeks rise. It’s clear to everyone that he adores you. Your mom notices how he looks at you and suspects that there’s more than a business relationship. Without considering how awkward it would make the two of you feel, she blurts out “So, how long have you been seeing each other?” “Mom!” You yell out in an attempt to drown out her question. Sicheng only laughs and shakes his head. “Your daughter and I...we have a friendship that is dear to my heart.” You don’t know what you expected him to say, but deep down, you knew that wasn’t the answer you wanted. Friendship? Was that it? She nods and apologizes “I’m sorry, it’s just you two seem so close, but that’s what my daughter needs! She needs a good friend to look out for her.” Jaehyun laughs lightly before biting a slice of ham. His laughter is cut short, however, after you kick his leg under the table. You’re cleaning up in the kitchen while Sicheng plays a tune on your old and painfully out of tune piano for your mom. She coos and gasps at how well he plays. He’s doing the best he can, but can’t take it anymore as his enhanced hearing makes it sound wretched. You laugh at him and the faces he makes. “I—should tune this before I continue, I hope you don’t mind.” He asks your mom while you watch from the small opening above the kitchen sink. Your mom happily lets him tune it while you wash the dishes Just as you smile while watching Sicheng and your mom interact, Jaehyun enters the kitchen and stands beside you. “How’s school?” He tries to start a conversation, but your not having it. “Fine.” “You still into psychology?” He put his hands in his pockets. He wants to play catch up like you two are long distance best friends that haven’t seen each other in ages. But this wasn’t the case, and you really wanted nothing to do with him. “Yes.” You look back down to the dishes and give him short answers, you really didn’t want to speak to him. “So..who’s this rich bastard?” He asks annoyingly. “He’s not a bastard, actually he’s not like you at all” you spit out to him. “Ah I see, so you’ve got a sugar daddy now, you’ve become a true college girl” Jaehyun tilts his head as he looks down on you. 

“Tell me, does he touch you as well as I did? Does he make you feel good?” he keeps asking, but you ignore him.

“Jaehyun!” You look up at him furiously. He reaches up and holds your face in one hand while caressing your cheek with his thumb. “I’ve been thinking about you and how much I miss you, your body, the sounds you make when you call my name.” He continues and touches your waist with his other hand. You push him away from you “Jaehyun, we ended things a long time ago, don’t take my mother’s kindness for an invitation to come back into our lives. I want nothing to do with you!”

You try not to say too loudly so that your mom will hear, but he persists. You’re pretty sure he’s had too much wine tonight as he slurs his words a bit.

“Oh please, I know you still like me, I’ve seen the way you look at me, I know he doesn’t make you feel good” he says as he steps closer and holds his hand out again, but out of nowhere comes Sicheng. You always forget just how fast he moves. And he forgets that not everyone knows what he is. “Shes not interested” Sicheng says while lightly pushing Jaehyun off of you. “And she’s interested in you?” Jaehyun looked at Sicheng with a disgusted look on his face. “Oh wait, she gets paid to act interested.” Jaehyun inched closer to Sicheng’s face. “You think you’re the big guy with your Lamborghini and tailored suit. But guess what, Gatsby, I didn’t have to pay her, I got it for free.” “Jaehyun!” You yelled but in a split second Sicheng grabbed him by the collar and pushed him into the wall.

Your mom rushed in when she heated the commotion.

Jaehyun was so shocked by Sicheng’s sudden movement, he looked at him with furrowed brows and a confused expression. How could someone as slim as Sicheng hold him up against a wall like this? He knew he was different.

“Jaehyun! It’s time for you to leave.” Your mom yelled. “How dare you talk about my daughter like that! Get the hell out of my house.” Neither of you knew that she heard the entire conversation, but you were somewhat glad she did because now she finally sees why you don’t talk to Jaehyun. Jaehyun looked up in disbelief and scoffed. He brushed Sicheng off and walked past you and your mother. He stopped when he passed her. “I’m sorry” he said quietly then continued walking. You heard the click of the front door and relaxed a little.

“I’m so sorry dear, I didn’t know he was such a jerk.” Your mom came up to you and held you in her arms.

You nodded “it’s okay, there was no way you could’ve known.”

You looked at Sicheng who still had tight fists. “Excuse me, I think it’s time for me to go.” He walked past you and your mother.

“Wait, Sicheng, don’t go” you turned to him with a sorrowful look on your face. You appreciated the way he defended you, but you wanted him to stay longer, you missed him and loved his presence.

“I’ll leave you two for a moment. I owe the neighbors a Christmas cake!” Your mom jumped up and hurriedly grabbed her coat and scarf.

You knew she felt the awkwardness of the moment and that the two of you needed some time alone to talk. You and Sicheng sat down on the couch together.

“I’m sorry he said those awful things, I’m sorry for coming.” he kept apologizing, and you didn’t understand why. “Sicheng, please don’t apologize, thank you for coming, he’s an asshole and I hate him, I prefer your company anyway..” you started. “Did you see his face? The asshole didn’t see it coming.” You laughed to try to break the serious mood. Sicheng smiled. “Yeah, I did move a little too fast.” Sicheng’s hair had fallen into his forehead during the whole ordeal, so you rose your hand and gently pushed it out and fixed the part. You felt his eyes on your face while your delicate fingers moved. He held your wrist to stop you. He watched your lips and you both moved closer to each other. “Sicheng..please don’t go yet.” You breathily said, eyes still on his luscious lips. “Why is your heart beating so fast?” Sicheng whispered in a low tone that made you shiver. He looked into your eyes while he held your wrist.

You leaned in closer.

Everything about him made you weak. You wanted to kiss him on your couch right then and there, could you hold back your feelings any longer?

“Sicheng..I.” He stopped you by kissing your lips. Finally.

You wanted to feel them on yours for so long.

You held your back while you held his face and deepened the kiss. His cold hands rubbed your back slowly, making the hairs on your hot skin raise. You picked yourself up and sat on his lap. He caressed your thighs while licking your bottom lip.

You panted and turned your head, enjoying the way his silky lips pushed against yours.

You wrapped your arms around his neck as his hands held your waist while you grinded down onto him. “Sicheng..” you called out his name quietly. He placed sloppy kisses on your neck, ignoring the small voice in his head that told him to stop. He only listened to your whining and focused on the feeling of your body finally on his, the way your clothed, pulsing core rubbed against his covered and aching tip. He sucked on your collar bone, holding himself back from biting into your soft skin.

The sound of your heart beat and your delicious scent drove him crazy while he sat under you.

His pants kept him restricted, but he still felt your opening growing wet as you pushed down onto him. Your moans sounded like the most exquisite music to his ears.

His hands went to the back of your dress as you started to kiss him again, but stopped and looked at you.

You breathed heavily. “Undress me..please.”

Sicheng pulled the zipper down hesitantly and you let your mouth open slightly when you felt the cold breeze hit your back.

You raised yourself and pushed down onto him again, repeating the action as your heat built up and he grew. 

You ran your hand down his rock hard chest and rested it on his bulge. He thrusted up into it while still kissing your lips fervently. You still moved back and forth on his lap while his hands gripped your ass to push you down harder. He groaned and felt a rumbling in his chest that told him to feed. His fangs grew and his eyes fluttered shut as he inched closer to your vein and dug his nails into your velvety skin. He wanted to drink from you and savor every drop. He wanted to make sweet love to you and feel your satin walls around him while listening to your heavenly moans, but he couldn’t.

He held your wrist and pulled away from you.

He batted his eyes and looked at your swollen lips, as if trying to focus on the words he was trying to say. “I-I should go.” You breathed heavily and looked at hip through wide eyes. “Why? We can go to my room if you want to.” Sicheng took you off his lap and placed you down gently beside him while fixing his pants and zipping your dress back up. “Y/n..I want to..trust me..I really do, but this isn’t good for us.” You exhaled, you knew that this wasn’t part of the agreement, but you wanted it so badly. He got up to leave, but you held his hand. “Sicheng, don’t leave..I think..I love—“ you muttered out without thinking. He quickly pulled away and clenched his jaw. “Don’t. I told you not to” Sicheng looked to the side. You silently cursed yourself. “Sicheng, I’m so sorry but-“ you continued and stood up from the couch, but he walked away from you.

“We cant do this anymore, this is over” he walked out the door and to his car, he didn’t look at you but you could tell he was upset by his somber and muted tone.

You threw your head forward and held it in your hands. “What did I just do?”