#i literally only have 3 or 4 chapters left. and then editing :D

[coolguypluiplup]

have a renchanting doodle from a ll apocalypse au i haven't talked about on here yet :)

i'll post more about it once i've finished the first draft, so expect more of that soon !!!

[pancake-breakfast]

I should be sleeping, but I'm not known for my wisdom in that particular field, so on with Trigun Book Club!

Archive

Trigun Volume 1: Covers + 1-3, 3 Detailed Thoughts, 4, 4 DT, 5-6, 5-6 + DT, 6 DT, 7-8, 9-10

Trigun Volume 2: Covers + Extras, 1, 1 Supplemental Research, 2-4, 5-6, 7-8

TriMax Volume 1: Covers + 1-2, 2 DT, 3-4, 3 DT, 5-6

TriMax Volume 2: Covers + 1, 2-4

Stream-of-consciousness thoughts for TriMax Vol. 2, Chapter 5 below.

Chapter 5: Desperado

Oh, no. They're coming for Vash's friends on the sand steamer.

Wait, that's the girl from the end of the last chapter, huh? That means they can't be far from Milly and Meryl.

Nico-oniisaaaaaaan!!!

"Did your work go well?" Heh. I'll note he does not answer this question. Nicholas D. Wolfwood. The "D" is for "Deflection."

Gods, his hands. This is so much more traumatic in context.

NIGHTOW, WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING HERE, LITERALLY ON THE SAME PAGE AS THAT NIGHTMARE?!?!

NM, it's just Vash's bad driving. Or maybe he noticed WW wasn't sleeping so good and decided to unsubtly wake him up?

LOL, I have SO MANY THOUGHTS about what's going on in WW's head here, but they're all spoilers, so I'll keep them to myself.

LOLOLOLOL, WW dragging unconscious Vash into the inn and demanding two rooms is just so funny to me. Like, no wonder these people are staring at him like that. They must have SO MANY QUESTIONS.

I assume there will only be one room. And one bed. Edit: My assumption was wrong.

LOL, nothing wakes Vash up quite like the sound of someone else in need, trying to do the right thing against impossible odds.

He's so cute when he's semi-conscious.

WW, what the hell life have you been living? I'm so sorry, my guy. No wonder Vash is giving you such a headache.

I wish I could find a suitable picture to show just how much this building looks like the old Spanish missions dotting the landscape in certain parts of the Southwestern U.S., but it seems like 99.9999% of the pictures are of the buildings inside the walls... or of the ones that have been extensively renovated rather than having crumbly bits like so many of them do. (Also, it's late and so I can't be arsed to do a detailed search. Maybe this will help get my point across? IDK, I'm not writing an essay on Spanish missions right now. I already did that back in 4th grade.)

If I had a son who was recklessly hellbent on getting himself killed alongside me as I defended the town/inn/whatever, I'd tie him up and lock him away, too.

LOL, dehydrated Vash. Gods, babygirl is in baaaaad shape. He's trying, though.

I dunno, a half-dead Vash is still probably pretty competent.

Is now a good time to point out that the word "Desperado" means "The Desperate"? (Also, apparently it's not actually Spanish. We're learning things today in Trigun Book Club.)

"What was that, Vashie?" *Vash barks insistently* "You think you can come up with a plan?" *Vash barks enthusiastically* "Ok, I trust you, boy!" *Vash wags his tail.*

Some quick Spanish notes on page 134 here for those who may not hear these terms so frequently: Mi Amigo = my friend (may not actually indicate a friend; can also be used to create a mock-friendly tone in a situation where intimidation is coming into play) Jefe (pronounced "heh-fay") = slang term meaning "boss" or "leader" (can also be used sort of like "man" or "dude" in English, or in a mock-friendly tone to kinda rub in that the person being called "jefe" is not in charge of the situation) Comprende? = Do you understand?

This guy has too many teeth. And a weird way of standing. Is... is he wearing metal underwear?? What kind of weirdness do you have to go through to get this kind of anatomy? How does he close his lips??? M... maybe it's a mask of some sort??

Holland en Flambe sounds like a dessert.

Rest in peace, vodka. I'm sure someone out there misses you.

Hahahahaha, this kid. He's having to hold the whole weight of intimidation because Vash looks like a rag doll someone left out in the rain too long. Wait. Does Wolfwood know Vash is here?? Heheheheheheheh.... BF's gonna be maaaaaaad....

I love Vash's expression through this bit. He's trying, but he does NOT have the energy for this right now.

FWOOM

Listen to your father, Rob.

Ohhhhh, shit.

Ok, I LOVE LOVE LOVE this. I love the absolute chaos of the top part taking over the whole page, with this guy's shouting bearing down on Vash and the family from the top, claws sweeping in from the left with a motion so fast and deadly it leaves motion lines going all the way up the page... and then, cutting in at the bottom, in a panel that's practically pure-white serenity, the soft but definite *click* of the Punisher's machine gun opening. Beautiful.

And, of course, we turn the page into a two-page spread of Wolfwood letting 'er rip, adding a more controlled and entirely different type of chaos to the scene.

LOL, BF's mad. Just a little, though. Confusion has tempered his anger.

Ok, this, though. How the angle goes from him carelessly tapping Vash on the head with his gun (while practicing shit trigger discipline, I might add) to us looking up at Wolfwood from a perspective very close to what Vash's would be if he could lift his head. How, in the second panel, Wolfwood looks like a desperate man about to pull an executioner's trigger out of fear and confusion for the unknown before him. How, even so, he's debating if Vash is actually the monster he's heard of when there's so much evidence that, despite superhuman skills that Wolfwood has witnessed multiple times firsthand, Vash seems so kind and cares so much for people he ends up in this situation even while half-dead.

Meanwhile, Vash seems to be taking well-deserved nap....

[no-droids]

Ch 17 was so, so, so good (thank you!!) 🥺 i am still processing. ((Edit: this turned into an essay so i Am Very Sorry in advance, there is a tldr at the end though))

First of all. We get to see Din going through it the same way sweet girl was a couple chapters ago and I love it! She’s been so clear from the start that she doesn’t want to run away from him and now Din’s getting to the point where he doesn’t want to chase her anymore because he just wants her to be physically there with him again. The second night of comms while she’s camped out at the orphanage?? “I thought this was going to be alright, but I hate it.” ??????????? i am a Puddle of Emotions no one look at me 😭

And then the way he’s so unsure about whether she hasnt begun to reconsider wanting to keep up with his bounty-hunter life now that she’s finally gotten a break if being forced to outrun a mandalorian can be really even be called a break for the first time in a year?? And he can SEE all the places she’s stopped to talk to people on this planet (his comment about the number of times the blond guy turned around to talk to her in the line? 🥺.) Din knows she’s enjoying these small encounters with people, getting to interact with a new planet and learn new things as she’s making her way through each place, and since they’re only talking at night he gets to think about it literally all day long as he follows her trail and tries to figure out what her plan is. This is truly an exercise in Din thinking nonstop about sweet girl (which ofc he does already, but like, thinking critically about what she thinks/wants/does/needs and why) and I feel like that’s causing him to slowly start to second guess himself in terms of where he would put himself on sweet girl’s list of priorities. And I wonder how much of this he’s actually considering for the first time? because it’s always him who leaves and comes back when he gets jobs — this is the first time that sweet girl has left him instead of the other way around. Sweet girl has had tons of time to think about these things, whereas Din hasn’t really had to... because it’s not the one who leaves who feels the absence most, it’s the one who’s left behind (even if just temporarily).

I can just picture Din’s increasing doubts as the chase keeps going, whether he’s worth putting up with his lifestyle and whether sweet girl wouldn’t rather have a life like the people he sees in the footprints around hers? because he knows her, knows she likes soft beds and meeting people and fresh fruit and beautiful scenery, which are all things that living on the razor crest can’t always provide except for the last one bc Din Djarin IS beautiful scenery let’s be clear and just. the ANGST. I cannot. ( a n d meanwhile sweet girl is having a breakdown thinking he wants to STOP looking and LEAVE her? As if)

So when she shuts down his tentative doubts about it on the second night she’s at the orphanage and Din starts asking questions about favorite animals and flowers and things?? 🥺🥺🥺🥺 I lost it. Din is mirroring the love and care he receives from sweet girl (and learning to tap into those emotions as he does) and I am just in awe of both his character development from ch 1 to here and your ability to show that gradual shift in your writing.

Tl;dr thank you very much for this latest chapter! I will continue to be a soft emotional little puddle for the foreseeable future, or at least until I can figure out to scrape myself off the floor and function like a human being who has not just read rough day ch 17 and promptly dissolved as a direct result🌻

okay

okay first of all ma’am/sir/friend, please do not put tl;dr’s on a fucking MASTERFUL DISSECTION LIKE THAT like I genuinely hope people read every word of what you have written because you’re so spot on about everything that I was almost taken aback JEJFJJDJFJF

I would like to say, and I need to do this in list form because you have presented so many beautiful points that I’d like to address them one by one,

1.) Din Djarin is used to being alone. Full stop. Like even with sweet girl helping out with the baby and agreeing to stay on the ship while he goes and grabs quarry, he’s gone for weeks sometimes. He is used to being by himself, to fending for himself, protecting himself, patching himself up, EVERYTHING by himself. He is the most independent self-sufficient driven bounty hunter Karga has on the payroll and he’s reliable, which is why Karga would give him four pucks at a time. Giving anyone else four pucks would mean that if they happened to die during their hunts, then more than one puck would be lost and that’s money down the drain. Din doesn’t die, he always comes back with all four bodies and he’s fucking quick about it. Him telling sweet girl “I thought this was gonna be alright” is apt, because he’s been able to exist without her and do good work while he knows she’s safe on the Crest. In fact, the only time he EVER didn’t do good work is when a) she was attacked on the Crest on Corellia, or b) when he desperately wanted to get back to her as quick as possible and he pushed himself too hard and put himself in danger (aka frozen on Hoth scene). And actually c) when he stole Grogu back from the empire and had Karga and the guild on his ass about it. Those were the only times Din had trouble doing his job. The only times he stopped looking and gave up. “I thought this was going to be alright, but I hate it” means that YES ABSOLUTELY DIN DJARIN DOES NOT LIKE STAYING PUT WHILE SHE LEAVES, even though he’s okay with going out and doing his job when she stays. Even though he’s still hunting, it’s like the roles have been reversed. She’s understanding his side, and he’s understanding her side. It’s been 4 days and he hates it, so imagine weeks or months of that. Not being able to move or chase after her either, just hanging out on the crest with Grogu and waiting to see if she’ll be able to make it back. Which

2.) makes it hurt just a lil more in that wonderful delicious angsty way when he actually asks if she wants this life. On Naboo, he didn’t know where she went or where the kid was—he didn’t know if they were in danger, if she was safe. He said he’d rip the galaxy apart to find her if she ever disappeared like that again. But... she’d be safe on Sanctuary II. This is different, and just like you said, he’s had multiple days where all he did was try to think like her. Get in her head, predict her. Understand her more than he’s ever attempted to do before, in a NECESSARY capacity, like he would a bounty he’s hunting. Din Djarin is used to being alone. He’s used to being silent and that’s how connections are severed before they can even be established. His only practice at empathy was through his job, a job that he is very very good at, but it was never enough to get him to stop looking. He would never be able to empathize enough to ask if the bounty wanted him to stop looking for them. Even with the baby, he turned him in at first and then let the guilt eat him alive before going back to save him. So, if you couple that with his true connection to sweet girl, the natural empathy he has for her and the kid (him immediately following her after he accidentally snapped at her on the Crest and apologizing) and Din is now TRULY beginning to understand her on a level he’s never experienced with another person

3.) BUT!!! Even though he “needed to ask” (meaning he understood enough to know that asking the question was necessary) he started out the entire conversation by admitting he doesn’t think he could do it. Before ever telling her what specifically he doesn’t think he could do, he already knows this about himself and says it flat out. I don’t think I could. Even if you asked me to, even if you said you’d be happier if I did, even if you told me right now that it’s what you wanted, I don’t think I could ever stop looking. And a lot of the turmoil he experiences is because of that. I make you sleep on the floor. I teach you to fight when you just want to look at waterfalls. I do all these things that you’d never willingly do yourself, and I’m a bad person BECAUSE I still want you to always be here with me in spite of all that.

4.) Meanwhile sweet girl just has no fucking clue all this is happening and it seems to come out of nowhere, all she knows is that he’s been in the city when he should’ve caught up to her days ago. She’s out experiencing things and meeting new people and yet she always comes back to Din and the baby and how much they should be here with her. She tries to come up with clever ways to outthink him but she also offers to give her coordinates to him practically every single night. Her wanting to be with him so bad but trying to hold out (“ask me again tomorrow”) while Din is also wanting to be with her so bad and also trying to hold out (“find her again tomorrow”) 🥺

So yeah basically in conclusion I love them together and they’re so different but they make each other somehow both stronger and softer in so many ways and yeah u mighta heard of DD/LG u kinky fucks but lemme present to u DD/SG

[mcfiddlestan]

I wasn't technically tagged, but got it from @luninosity. :D

Rules: List all your WIP titles, all meaning even the ones that are vague or nonsensical. Tag as many people as there are WIPs (that might be a lot, so we’ll see!)

I have a lot so I'll separate them by ship, I guess (since I only really write the same ones lol)

FrostIron

- 30 Day OTP Porn Challenge: I've still got 12 days left to do. Day 19 has a... wobbly outline.

- College AU smutty one-shot for a friend: outline/prompt was given to me by said friend. Tony's an exchange student living in London, where he bumps into fresh from Norway student Loki, who needs help getting around. Tony offers to help, things lead to things. Smut.

- Fools Rush In: previously posted six completed chapters, but I hit a bad writer's block and took it down. I hope to someday finish it. it was one of the first long fics I started that was in-universe.

- Real Genius AU: semi-outlined, based on the 1985 movie with Val Kilmer. Chris Knight gives off heavy Tony Stark-vibes.

- Royals AU - outlined, a couple of chapters written. Kind of got the idea from the E! show The Royals. It's an ambitious fic, too. It was the first fic I brought in other characters besides the core Avengers, such as Erik Lehnsherr, Wanda and Pietro Maximoff, and tbh if I were to start working on this today, I'd throw in Sam Wilson and maybe other characters.

- The Flame: another, like FRI, that was previously published on AO3. Up to five chapters, lots of scenes written but not strung together yet. Initially looks like ThunderFrost, but it is inevitably FrostIron (no Thor and Loki were not brothers). Idk if I'll ever get back to this one tbh.

- The House Guest: the storyline is all planned out, but I've only written two chapters. It's genderbent -- Antonia Stark and fem Loki Laufeyson. I've even got edits done. I'm hoping to work on it this year.

MaLoki

- Live-action Maleficent/Thor movies crossover: I've had this one in my WIP pile for almost a decade. It was something cooked up with @vikishus around the time the first Maleficent movie came out (I think). I've just never sat down to write anything for it.

Stucky

- Musician!Bucky and Firefighter!Steve, modern day au: has a storyline, and a few pieces/scenes written. (Mixed in is some SamTasha)

- The Greatest Showman-ish AU: some idea jotted down after repeated viewings of the movie lol

- Every Piece Will Find Its Place: post-Winter Soldier prompt given to me anonymously; storyline sketched out, opening written

- 1950s Matinee Idol AU: an idea I sketched from a tumblr post I saw forever ago

ThunderFrost

- Hurricane: sequel to my one ThunderFrost fic, Lead the Way. The plot's kinda there and some bits.

WinterFrost

- The Christmas Date: my perpetual almost-done gift for a good friend. It's literally nearly done. But I can't seem to get it down.

- All I Ask: my artist!Loki and recovering vet!Bucky AU. Been working on it for about five years now. Four chapters are done, with other scenes, and a full plot sketched out.

- Nobody's Hero: a prompt sent to me anonymously that's canon divergent. Bucky and Loki meet and fall in love in the 1940s, then Bucky goes off to war and the first Cap movie ensues. Fast forward to the present day, Loki finds Winter Soldier!Bucky and fights to break through his Hydra brainwashing.

- Second Time Around: like Fools Rush In and The Flame, I removed this from AO3 when I hit a block. Three chaps and a plot 3/4 written. Bucky is more a mix of Bucky and TJ from Political Animals (cuz I started it around the time that was on the air).

- Whatever It Takes: my single Dad AU. Seven chaps completed. The whole plot done. Just gotta write it!

- Snow/Zima RP: my attempt to transform my long ago RP with my ex into a more readable fic-like story. It's not easy lol.

WinterFrostIron

- I have a random OT3 prompt waiting to be written with these three. 🤷🏽‍♀️

WinterIron

- Bodyguard AU: got a plotline and a few scenes. Hoping to work on this soon.

- Alt Prompt 12: I posted a prompt for #12 in the 100 Ways to Say ILY challenge already, but I had another idea I sketched out that was totally different. Still might make a good one-shot.

- @teadrinkingwolfgirl's angst prompt: it's a blank doc staring at me in my Google drive.

Random Ships

- Harley/Bucky: I don't remember who sent this to me. But it's basically a DC/Marvel crossover. Joker's involved with Hydra, Harley is his Asset. She bolts, the Winter Soldier is sent after her.

- Loki/? Xmas prompt: one of those random Xmas prompts that make the rounds every year. Haven't decided who to pair him with yet.

- Fantasy Rom/Com starring Chris Pine and Tom Hiddleston: Okay, so this was taken from a random article online about fantasy romcoms that would be fun. This was one. And I was like, yo, I could write that. So far all I have is the prompt lol.

I don't even know how many I just wrote, so I'll tag a few peeps and if you're reading, feel free to do it!

@teadrinkingwolfgirl, @ishipanarmada, @bouncydragon, @rennemichaels (sorry I can't think of anyone else!)

xoxo

[writing-gifts]

both sides of the viewfinder ch. 2

adult film star!bruno x afab!reader  (they are also gn)

18+ content

chapter 1 || chapter 2 || chapter 3 || chapter 4

-----

A/N:  okay so this story is actually 4 chapters long now, the 2nd chapter was way longer than i would have liked (and taking too long to edit all at once) so i split it in half 

um ig that's it, there’s a cheating scenario porn being filmed this chapter, like its literally the beginning of this chapter so warning for that 

other than that i hope you like the chapter!

-----

You hold back the laugh in your chest and try your best to keep a relaxed face. But you didn't have great control when it came to stuff like this and realized quickly in life that you probably wouldn't make it as an actor. However the director still thought it was fine to put you in as an extra with speaking parts.

He said your acting didn't need to be believable or good just that you need to say the lines. That was objectively true--it was porn--but if you cracked a smile people would definitely notice.

You were playing the oblivious person having a conversation with your "best friend". And said friend was getting railed in the shower by your boyfriend who was being played by Bruno. Why you were trying to have a serious conversation while she was showering was completely lost on you. But it didn't have to make sense.

You stare at yourself in the mirror above the sinks. The way the restroom was set up had the shower and toilet in its own separate, little room. So it wasn't completely easy to tell what your friend was really up to.

"My boyfriend's been acting strange recently," you say. You try to sound down but come off more inconvenienced.

"What do you mean?"

The door to the shower room was open so you could hear your friend well even with the water running. So of course you notice her voice wobble at the end. You can't tell if she added that intentionally or if Bruno found a particularly good spot. You ignore it though since you weren't actually supposed to notice anything just yet.

"He doesn't seem very interested in me anymore? Like he doesn't want to have sex with me. And it's kinda weird since he always wanted to before!"

"Ah--!"

“Huh?” you reply, genuinely confused. That wasn't on the script but you knew pretending you didn't hear it would be worse.

“Ahhh, maybe something has been upsetting him recently?” she suggests.

"Oh...perhaps you're right." You move to pull out your phone from your pocket. "It's been bothering me so much so maybe I'll call him right now--"

"D-Don't stop!"

You turn towards the shower room. "What? Are you good? You sound like you're exercising in there."

"Yes yES--I'm good! Just hot in here…"

That sounded so real and it has you wondering what the hell Bruno's doing.

You pause for a split second too long and almost forget to say your next line. "Uh so you...don't want me to call him?"

"No, don't call him. You should s-speak to him in person!" Your friend seemed to finally get her voice under control.

"Oh! That's definitely a better idea." You put your phone away. "I think I'll head home now actually and wait for him. Thanks for hearing me out!"

With that you exit the bathroom set and breathe a sigh of relief. Now all that was left to do was wait for filming to finish and then you could head home for the day.

You join the crew and from where you're standing you can easily watch the two actors go. It was actually kind of nice to watch.

While you stare, Bruno seems to glance in your direction. You raise a brow, wondering why he looked over here and turn around to look behind you, but there's nothing of note there.

-----

"You're not going home yet?"

You turn in your chair. Bruno stands at the door watching you with crossed arms.

"Nope. I'm finishing this up for one of the editors--they weren't feeling well--and I don't want to take it home with me."

"I see," he says. He then walks in the room and pulls up a chair next to you which catches you off guard.

"You don't have to stick around! I'm probably gonna be here up until midnight."

"That's okay. I don't want to leave you here all alone. What are you editing anyways?"

"Well I'm working on one of your porns. The one you did last week."

Bruno leans forward, getting in your space, to see the screen.

"Ah, the one with Leone! That one was really nice, but I always enjoy working with him."

"Yea the two of you have great chemistry."

Abbacchio was a grumpy bitch but somehow the two of them got along pretty well. Bruno seemed to get along with most people easily though.

The man places his elbow on the desk and rests his head in his hand.

"So did you like it?"

"Like what?" you ask.

"The film."

The look in his eye was one that was quite familiar but why it was there, you weren't completely sure.

You feel your heart skip a beat. "I mean...I did."

Bruno smiles and you immediately feel yourself getting hot.

"What did you like about it? If you don't mind me asking."

A small smile comes to your lips. "W-Well you're in it, that's one. I like when I can tell the actors are genuinely having a good time. And both you and Abbacchio are attractive. Your m-moans were pretty nice too."

"They sound better when they come naturally hm?"

"Can't disagree with that!"

You turn your attention back to the screen. As much as you'd like entertaining Bruno you still need to get this done.

"You seem less reserved in person compared to when we message on Twitter."

"Really? It's usually the opposite for people…" you say.

"I know that's why I find it interesting." The man pauses for a moment before talking again. "Remember when you said you watched some of my work?"

You nod.

"For fun?"

You raise a brow but still answer. "I like to judge the camerawork, but sometimes I do for fun.”

Even though you were kind of over porn, there were the few times that you used it to help get off. And when you did you usually found yourself seeking out media involving Bruno.

Bruno lets out a laugh. "That's good to know."

You purse your lips at his smug expression. The man is definitely trying to mess with you. Of course you didn't mind some teasing but being the only one receiving wasn't your forte. Also you didn't want to be here all night.

"I need to finish this. You can stay but you can't keep distracting me like that..."

"Of course."

You look at him warily before getting back to work. Even though Bruno didn't really seem it, he definitely had a mischievous side.

The man watches the screen (and sometimes you), keeping you company with more innocent chat while you work. It actually makes time pass by faster.

You end up finishing earlier than you expect and thank Bruno for staying with you. The man offers to drive you home but you decline and take the bus instead.

The moment you're in your bedroom, your body hits the bed--no night routine or clothes change. You'd just have to deal with it in the morning.

It barely feels like you've been asleep before you hear your alarm go off. You grab your phone and shut it off.

Sighing, you risk closing your eyes for a few more seconds. You weren't ready to go back to work but after a minute you force yourself out of bed and stretch.

You head straight to the bathroom to start your day by brushing your teeth and multi-task with your phone--checking your work email and replying to any missed messages that you didn't get to last night. Other than that your morning starts off pretty uneventful.

While you're eating breakfast you get a message on Twitter.

Bruno: Morning.

You reply with your own good morning. The message surprised you but it was a pleasant one.

Bruno: How are you feeling? Not too tired I hope.

You: i'm okay now that i've had some coffee

You: how's your day going so far?

Bruno: The usual. I'm walking over to a restaurant nearby to get something to eat.

You: ooo sounds yummy 😋

You: what ya gonna get?

Bruno: I'm not sure yet but I'll send a picture when I do.

you: noo i'll be jealous, i'm literally eating cereal right now. but also please do send it

Bruno: I can bring you a to-go box if you want.

Your spoon stops halfway to your mouth.

You: i mean it's still good cereal so you don't have to

Bruno: It's fine. I like feeding people, at least that's how one of my friends phrased it!

You: well…..okay 👉👈

You: thanks ❤

Bruno: You're welcome.

Bruno: ❤

-----

"Off day today?" you ask.

Bruno drags his fingers through his hair and sighs. Other than that, he doesn't show any frustration.

"I planned for today to be short, then I could head home but as you can see it's not really going as planned. And all these lights…." He looks at you. "I'm sorry. I'm sure you're tired too."

"No, no it's okay. It’s totally my fault! We can take a break if you want?"

The studio had been dabbling with more amateur work lately so the director had left you and Jocelyn to handle this, and Jocelyn had decided it would be fine if you were on your own for this film. You weren't sure why you agreed since you had only been here about a month at this point and didn't feel completely comfortable. But you did and it was proving to be very nerve wracking. It affected your work and dragged this out longer than necessary.

“And honestly, I should probably take one too," you add.

Bruno agrees and you grab the man's robe and place it on his shoulders. While He slips back on his briefs you turn to the small crew.

“Guys lets take a 15 minute break.”

Everyone gives their okays and most of the crew leaves the room while a few check the equipment or their phones.

You tell Bruno where you're going and head outside to get some fresh air.

You try to use the time to relax but instead end up walking back and forth, worrying about the film and Bruno. The man was still able to act the part but you stopping and going so often was definitely affecting his performance. And you really didn't want him to have to act out every motion.

You stop walking and lean against the wall of the building. While waiting for the break to end you see someone approaching from the parking lot. The editor you helped before when they weren't feeling well.

You push yourself off the walls and meet them part way with a greeting.

"Hey Eli."

"What's up ____...You good? You look kinda stressed."

"I guess I am. Sorry for asking so suddenly but could you do me a favor?"

"What type of favor?"

"I'm supposed to film this amateur video of Bruno masturbating, and I've been having a hard time for some reason. I don't want to keep Bruno trapped here all day for something like this. But I don't know if my shots are usable...Do you think you can check for me?"

They hum in thought. “____ I'm going to be honest with you. It sounds like you're overthinking this. I mean, it’s called amateur for a reason. It doesn't need to be super high quality or “perfect” shots! That's probably why they let you direct it on your own."

At that moment everything clicked.

"I didn't mean it in a bad way though!"

"No, you're right. Thanks!"

You leave before they can respond and head back to the set room. On your way there, you go find a different camera. Something smaller and less complicated that will still capture good quality shots--perfect for what you were about to do.

When everyone returns from their break you have most of the lights brought down and let the whole crew go.

"Bruno I know you do videos on your own. So we're pretty much gonna do it like that now. Except that I'm here...uh.” You laugh. “You know what I mean."

Bruno smiles at the camera in a way you could only describe as cute.

"I understand. I’m ready to go whenever you are."

You nod and give the signal.

Right away, his light smile transforms into something more alluring. He leans back on the multiple soft pillows set against the headboard and lets out a relaxed sigh.

You give Bruno a moment to prepare himself and when you see the outline of his cock already hardening through his briefs, you internally breathe a sigh of relief.

"It's been awhile since I've last done this."

He props a arm atop the pillows. "Now that it's happening, I just realized I've missed it."

You want to ask what he means but bite your lip instead. Maybe it was some type of roleplay.

He drags a hand up his thigh before stopping at the bulge between his legs, and you can't help the thought of running your own hands against those legs.

He hums. "You know, I have a hard time keeping you out of my mind at night."

Your stomach flips but you make sure to keep your breathing controlled.

His thumbs hook under the band of his briefs and you lean a bit forward without thinking, anticipating what you had seen many times before. But for the first time in a long time you feel yourself slipping from your work frame of mind. Maybe it was inappropriate but you were sure Bruno wouldn't mind.

After teasing you for way longer than you would like, the corners of Bruno's lips quirk upward and he finally pulls down the band to reveal himself.

Bruno's cock stands erect and his brow furrows. "Look what you're doing to me..." His head lolls to the side to rest against the pillows and his breath hitches when he begins to stroke himself.

You focus on his handsome face for a moment. His blue eyes are piercing and it feels like he's looking past the camera and straight at you at you.

Your fingers twitch on the camera. You'd never wanted to touch someone so bad in your life.

-----

Bruno: Can I get your advice on something?

You: yea, what is it?

Bruno: I want to post some photos on my OnlyFans but idk which one to use on Twitter though. Can you help me decide?

You: ooo of course!

He sends 3 pictures of him wearing different elaborate lingerie. They must have been new since you're sure you'd never seen them before. Anyways, you're a millimeter away from sending a photo of a cartoon character with their jaw on the floor.

You: idk if i can decide! any of them would be enough to get me on your onlyfans...

Bruno: Thank you but you still have to pick one.

You scroll back and forth looking through them. The pictures were teasing, hinting at what was to come and they were all very sexy. But after staring for too long you finally make a choice.

You: the third one!

Bruno: Why?

You: ….it shows your tiddies the most 💁

Bruno: I thought you were going to say something about the framing or lighting...

You: LOL

You: i can look at them again?

Bruno: No it's okay. I'll use the tiddy picture.

Bruno: Thank you.

You: no problem!

You: soooo when are you posting the full set?

Bruno: Trust me, I'll let you know right beforehand. 😏

You: 😳

-----

You walk down the hallway slightly annoyed. Jocelyn just informed you that you would be covering for one of your coworkers last minute. It was inconvenient but not that big of a deal. That is until you found out that Melone was one of the actors.

When you first met him, he seemed to keep to himself for the most part. But recently he had become fixated on you. Every break in filming he’d approach you.

At first it wasn't so bad and you thought he was trying to be friendly, but it didn't take long for you to start feeling uncomfortable. Some of the questions he asked made you feel weird--it wasn't anything you weren't used to but the way he asked them... And when you tried to steer the conversation into a different direction he didn't take the hint. On top of all this, you didn't see him do this with anybody else.

You walk into the breakroom and find Bruno snacking. He greets you but quickly realizes something's up.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

The leather couch that you hate creaks when you fall back on it.

“Well I have to unexpectedly help with more camera work today. And Melone's going to be there so he's definitely going to be talking my ear off.”

You try to sound indifferent about it but Bruno says something you don't expect.

"I can talk to Jocelyn and get you out of it."

"Huh? No, no you don't need to do that. That's a silly reason to try to skip out."

"Well, how about I say it like this? I'm done for today and I would like to take you out to eat with me."

You smile. "That does sound nice..."

"Okay, it's settled then. I'll go talk to her and then we can go."

Once Bruno comes back the both of you walk to his car.

"Eating mostly oatmeal and vegetables for the last 2 days hasn't been very satisfying," he says as he opens the passenger door for you.

You get in and wait for him to walk around to get in the driver side.

"It sucks but at least you can eat whatever now. Where are we eating by the way?"

"Bertolino's--it's nearby. I'm craving pizza. Or pasta."

You feel your stomach grumble pleased with the thought.

"You could do both, kinda like macaroni pizza."

Bruno glances at you. "That sounds...unpleasant."

"Oh so you've tried it?"

"No."

"Then how do you know?"

You watch him try to wrack his brain for a rebuttal and fail.

"...It still sounds bad though," he says.

"Try it first then we can talk."

You reach out and poke the man's cheek. He immediately shoos your hand away and throws a miffed look at you.

"Hey, I'm trying to drive."

You grin but leave him alone. This was the first time you'd get to spend time with Bruno outside of work so you were a little restless and couldn't help messing with him.

"This is probably the most excited I've seen you," he says.

"Yea--just happy to be outside of work!"

"Is Melone that much of a problem?"

"No...well he can be a lot but it's not really a big issue. I'm just happy to get to spend time with you is what I meant."

Bruno's doesn't respond right away and you wonder if you said something wrong.

"If he's bothering you I can handle it," he finally says.

You let out a laugh. "Are you going to beat him up?"

"If necessary."

You stop smiling when you realize he isn't joking and conclude that he doesn't like Melone. You wonder what the man could have done to get on Bruno's bad side though since he seemed to get along with everyone.

"I feel the same by the way," Bruno says.

"Huh?"

"About getting to spend time together."

You and Bruno spend the next hour and a half sharing a pizza and talking. And the two of you learn a few things about the other that didn't involve work. Like that he wears glasses to read and that he had a dyeing "accident" with his hair recently.

Afterwards you didn't really feel like going back to work so Bruno drives you home.

You unbuckle your seatbelt. "Thanks for the meal and ride."

Bruno smiles. His mood seems better now that he's eaten. "You're welcome. We should do this again sometime."

"Yeah, I'd like that." And instead of saying goodbye and getting out of the car, you sit there expecting--expecting something.

The both of you stare at one another until Bruno leans towards you. His lips meet yours and for some reason his breath smells like mint.

Before you can worry about your own breath, Bruno's hand is on your thigh and sliding up. His tongue presses against your lips, coaxing you to part them.

The beating in your chest feels so hard and your hands clinch next to your thighs. You want to reach out for Bruno and make a mess out of him, but you feel like you're running out of breath way too quickly.

You pull away.

Bruno immediately moves his hand off your leg. "What's wrong?"

You weren't really sure yourself. You just knew something was bothering you. Or maybe that was just the food you ate trying to digest. Either way it was preventing you from fully enjoying this.

"I'm not sure but I think it's best if we stop for now."

He nods but you worry he might be a little disappointed.

"That's fine," he says.

"It's not because I'm not interested! It's just something's off. Please dont think I'm not attracted to you."

"I'm not upset ____." He smiles. "I want you to be comfortable."

"Whew, okay.."

"Do you want me to walk you to your apartment?" he asks.

"That's okay. Thanks though."

You brush a misplaced hair behind his ear and press a quick kiss to his lips. Once you pull back, you open the car door and step out.

"Stay safe," he says.

"You too. I'll message you later."

[ennui-gt]

Here it is. A Piece Of Borrower Content Written Entirely In Stream Of Consciousness:

AN: so this is incomplete and very…needs revisions to the timeline to incorporate some things I added later! It’s the original universe that Mira’s from! I edited it like Slightly to just change Ross’s name to Ross (if u see Max anywhere that’s his old one I just felt like changing it so that’s just him but different. Anyway) Everything's under the readmore tab, cheers!

The Library Fairy:

-

Basic Plot (Chrono, comic starts from human perspective abt the ‘legend of the library fairy’ ig maybe. Nothing here is permanent cept the characterization)

Part A

1- Mira is borrower currently chillin in a college library

2- She lives off of the cafe on the second floor nd reads lots and lots of stuff about everything when the upper floors close (lower floor open 24/7 but upper floors r vacant p much after 12:00 AM)

3- she starts getting increasingly curious about human stuff cos she’s literate nd books r pry neat

4- it starts one night when she spots an unattended notebook and a half eaten blueberry muffin, nd it’s 12:30 so nobody’s coming back in atm (it’s the 80s so no laptops for the plebians quite yet)

5- so she goes ‘welp’ nd takes part of the muffin, then sees the work on the page and goes ‘hmmmm this is incorrect’ so she helps our and leaves notes here n there to point the kid in the right direction and puts down some book refs for further study bcos at this point she’s been there for 2 years and she knows where most things are

6- she stays behind to see if the human comes back for it, hidden in a hidey hole near the desk

7- human comes in, sees notebook, practically melts w relief nd stuffs it in his bag

8- next day human comes back nd leaves nother notebook and a cookie, along w a hidden camera

9- Mira goes ‘o boy, this a trap, innit’

10- Mira then decides ‘eh whatever I haven’t had contact w anyone in years now so I might as well’

11- she steals the camera film nd leaves a lil scrap of paper saying ‘nice try ;)’ on it

12- student comes back, sees paper, goes ‘dammit’, then leaves note addressed to the ‘library fairy’ and another cookie, as well as more of their work for her to help with

13- bout a decade goes by and now the “Library Fairy” is an urban myth, it’s currently 2003 so she’s also wound up on the school’s unofficial Wikipedia page under ‘local cryptids’

14- most library employees know of her but they don’t go looking out of fear stemming from superstitions bout her, somehow the legend grew from ‘can’t be photographed’ to ‘a student once saw her and died that day’

15- there’s now a small shrine devoted to her where ppl bring offerings hoping to get good grades in return, sometimes they will leave papers for her to proofread nd stuff

16- new prof (named Alexei) finds online article thinks he Knows What’s Up bcos he had a borrower friend as a kid, but they left when borrower’s fam found out about them knowing each other

17- he leaves note wedged in one of her secret entrances behind outlet, asking if she can meet w him at some point

18- Mira, already In it, goes ‘Okay. Alright. This has gone on for long enough. Time to go and never return’ but ofc she’s curious as all hell and like she decides she will at least honor the guy’s request for a convo b4 she goes, but on her terms and w/o speaking face 2 face

19- they Talk in the library after hours, bcos he paid off the janitor to let him stay after hours nd most of the student employees recognize him as a prof nd leave him alone

20- they talk again for every subsequent night

21- she uhhhh finally decides to reveal herself nd prays that her hunch was right nd he won’t try to grab her or anything

22- he doesn’t but she’s nervous so she winds up gettin caught in her own climbing rope like idiot, is now dangling from ceiling in tangled mess

23- he stifles chuckle nd she says smthn sarcastic

24- he moves closer and offers to untangle her

25- she’s like ‘please’

26- so he do, but her grip on the rope slips nd he has to catch her

26- so now she’s in his hand and he just sets her down and now he’s a bumbling embarrassed mess bcos he said he wasn’t going to hold her and he just did and o dear pls forgib him

28- nd she’s like ‘dude u just saved my life it’s fine ur fine chill’

29- internally she’s going HOLY FUCK AAAAAAA but externally, her human’s already worked up enough as it is so she’s gotta b the level headed one

29.5- after a while they both kinda get used to each other more, he gets tenure, they celebrate, some more stuff happens, Aleksei got married (not to Mira, Mira hasn’t actually rly thought about being in a relationship w anyone cos she’s laser focused on gaining as much knowledge as possible)

30- eventually Alexei’s like ‘hey so I’m dean of faculty for the biotech branch now uhhhh would u like actual job teaching students? Cos, uh, you can do it remotely thru online lectures n stuff, no in person interaction, and I uh was just kinda wondering—‘

31- she’s like ‘yes. Yes!!! LET ME HELP PEOPLE OFFICIALLY KINDA’

32- so now she’s a professor, and has revealed her Secret a few times here n there to a number of the faculty, nd she has recorded her own findings in a personal journal

33- ‘humans will treat u like a human if they think ur human first. The kids call it ‘catfishing’’

34- enter Ross, an mall goth who accidentally tripped headfirst into a premed program

35- Mira’s favorite field of study is bio so naturally she’s his prof for a majority of his classes

36- being the good boy that he is, he now knows Mira’s secret. There is an Entire Chapter on him finding out and legit just continuing their conversation as if everything was normal bcos he thought that was how he was supposed to handle the situation

37- then she says ‘u can ask questions, u know’ he’s like OH THANK FUCK CAUSE I HAVE SEVEN HUNDRED OF THOSE

38- and now he kinda knows what to look for in terms of ‘do borrowers live here check yes or no’

39-in his apartment, the answer is yes and he mistakenly kinda stumbles upon the mom one night when he wakes up in the middle of the night for Snack and opts to pretend like its not happening. Unfortunately the thing she was trying 2 borrow (piece of crumb cake for Son Boy’s birthday) is the thing he wants 2 eat so he’s like “uh. ‘Scuse me, ma’am.” and he peels back the saran wrap on the other side of the plate, takes piece, nd then leaves some there for her

40-so now the woman is like ‘welp guess it time 2 Leave’

.1- she and husband Talk

.2-they decide it best 2 go

.3-theyre Packing

.4-lil bab Ellie confused

.5-hawk attacke

.6-cut to Ross

41- Ross also happens to work at a bar and he goes outside for a break

43- he finds smal child—smol smal—on the sidewalk and said child is missing an arm, nd has lost a lot of blood, so he’s uhhhhh Losing It highkey

43.5-parents r nowhere 2 b seen, but the hawk is nearby and circling. Ross gets an idea of what just happened

44- he up and leaves work, thankfully his apartment is above the shop so he jumps up the fire escape w the child and

45- he make tourniquet

46- he calls Mira nd asks her 2 come over to ASAP. he’s A Mess at this point

47- it is Very touch and go, kid needs blood, Mira is the only viable donor so she’s just gotta pray that the blood type is fine and won’t kill him

48- and then eventually they manage 2 stave infection thru antibiotics properly dosed to his size, Mira does Math and Prays basically

49- ‘bout a month in, kid wakes up

50- kid doesn’t rember much since he’s only 3

51- hes v scared of Ross at first but over time he gets used 2 the human

52- kid (elliot) starts 2 call Ross ‘dad’ after a while

53- Ross: *internal screaming but in a good way*

54- the end kinda for now

Part 2

A- New Borrowers In The Building

—three of em. paranoid dad, mom, nd daughter that’s Elliot’s age so he’s pumped

B- Elliot offers them a place 2 stay briefly

C- he knows by now bout like, how borrowers don’t typically interact w humans and Auntie Mira’s a bit of a weird case so he just doesn’t tell em bout his dad being the human

D- the kid finds out first nd doesn’t tell the parents, but they figure it out later kinda and think that it’s a ‘o god he’s being kept as a pet’ sitch so they’re >:| abt it

E- they move out and try to take Elliot w them (by force bcos they think he’s brainwashed) but he escapes and makes it to Ross, who’s like “uhhhhhh”

F- and the mom come out the hole near the counter n starts yelling at Ross, who is…kinda used to it since Mira brings in ppl who need help from time 2 time and they typically don’t react well when they’re lucid enough to understand what’s going on. He’s just not used to being questioned about his own kid

G- so they’re like “WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING WITH HIM”

H- and he’s like “r…raising him???”

I- and Ellie steps up and he’s like “this is my dad. I decided he was my dad when I was three. He’s being a good parent”

J- and Ross is like “yeah what he said. I’m a good parent.”

K- Ross is riding that high til the end of fucking time but like back to the story at hand

L- this is when the husband comes out nd is like “lissen. wifey. ily but that is a very big human and he hasn’t grabbed us yet so let’s count our blessings and gtfo”

M- but she’s like “uh no we stay until I’m sure Elliot is Safe and fucking Sound”

N- so they stay for dinner nd stick around a little longer.

O- Val (the kid) gets closer 2 Elliot and also Ross a bit

P- Mira shows once or twice, first time she shows up they’re like “oh god it’s the crazy doctor lady this all makes sense now” (bcos Mira does check up on as many borrower families as possible in her free time so word has got around by now Of her, and the number by which to contact her in case her services r needed)

Q- After a month or so, then they decide to leave bcos they’re like “look we get that ur son is ur son and he only has one arm and in our profession that is kind of a death sentence but we can’t have our kid getting used to dealing w humans who know about our existence” so they go and leave on a kind of sour note bcos Ellie can do anything he wants to do just as well as any other borrower Thank You Very Much and Ross is ready to fite anyone who thinks otherwise

R- Elliot starts trying 2 b more independent, basically from now on he’s like ‘I can do everything my Damn Self Thanks’

S- but uh he does it to a point where he’s going out of the way to endanger himself

T- so they get into a fite about it and ross Yells and Elliot is like ‘kthxbye’

U- and the boi just. Fuckin bolts. Runs Away. Ross is a Mess, he starts smoking again (he quit cold turkey the day he took Elliot in) to curb the depression, he’s jus. Not doin good, worried that his son is dead and the last time they talked it’d ended badly

V- FREEDOM!!!1! Except Ellie doesn’t kno how to take care of himself so it’s a rough month or so and then he runs into some other borrowers livin in their own town in the wild ig, chillin, being hella independent, and he’s like “uh yes ofc I will join u, I was w my dad for a while but.........” he neither confirms nor denies that his dad’s dead but everyone kinda just assumes.

Part 3

W-anyway a year goes by and then the borrower group gets hit hard w some kind of sickness ig. Elliot gets it too he’s basically incapacitated n drifting in and out of lucidity. So. They contact the weird crazy doctor lady who hangs around humans, a.k.a. Mira, and she’s like “oh. fuck. I know this kid.” bcos she does, u kno, and she jus treats em all for their ailment and shows them how to make antibiotic poultice thing in case smthn like it happens again. Mold. Penicillin is basically what it is

X-she and Elliot hav a Chat (Mira basically yells at him a lot) once he’s fixed up and he decides he’s gonna visit his dad but he makes it very clear that he is a Grown Up (he’s not, he’s literally sixteen), and he is living on his own now

Y- he agrees to stay for a week tho since he misses his home a lot tbh and Ross is just. Over the fucking moon to know he’s ALIVE, he’s not gonna fuck up their relationship by insisting that he stay. Or like, by keeping him ofc he would never

Z- unfortunately the borrower community put two and two together and figured out his dad’s human so they have his stuff packed up when he gets back w mira, who’s ready to go the fuck off on them

End 1:

-Ellie is living at Ross’s place atm and hopeful about the future basically. He eventually will go off on his own but he’ll keep in contact w his dad and stuff

Part C.5

55- few yrs later

56- elliot is Adult now he does adult borrower stuff

57- he moves out

58- finds nice borrower gf (her name’s Tess)

59- doesn’t tell her about his dad being human but talks about his dad a LOT

60- so when she asks to meet said father he’s just like “uh. Maybe we don’t do that actually”

61- and she’s like “y tho”

62- and he’s like “bcos”

63- anyway she decides to look into it cos she knows he goes to see his dad nd keep in touch but his dad is allegedly “a recluse who lives in the big scary human’s walls to avoid other ppl”

64- which is. Not true in the slightest tbqh he’s def not an introvert he’s just a workaholic and he Is the big scary human

65- anywho they run into Val and her wife and she’s like “how’s Ross been?” And Elliot is acting Very Suspish so she, being Smart, calls it immediately and is like “oh shit u haven’t told her yet have u”

66- Tess: “told me what”

67- Val: “El’s dad is a human, bro.”

68- Tess: “I’m sorry?”

69- this results in a Big Fight and they separate for like, a month. Elliot blames Val bcos he’s being irrational and doesn’t wanna admit to the fact that lying to his girlfriend for over a year was Real Bad Actually, but over time he’s like ‘yeah it’s my fault sry for snapping at u’ cos he works thru his emotions n stuff

70- Eventually gf comes back cos she’s like “ok so. I understand why you lied to me about your dad. It was a dick move but I do get it and I still care about you a lot. I would like. To meet him.”

80- this is a lie she does not want to meet him she is doing this bcos she does not want to lose Elliot and that outweighs the fear of his dad

81- so they go to meet him but she’s just kinda. Behind the wall at first like “that’s a crazy big human this is crazy ur crazy it’s time to gO”

82- Val is also there bcos she hasn’t seen Ross in a while

83- they eventually coax her out of hiding

84- and by that I mean Val picks her up and drags her out into the open by force bcos she basically freezes up the second she catches sight of Ross and Val’s like “u didn’t come all this way for nothing, bich”

85- they have a Painfully Awkward First Meeting, Tess is trying her best but oh god he’s just too fucking. Larg. Ellie ur dad too big

86- tbh tho the ice kinda breaks after Ellie and Ross get into a fight over smthn stupid (im thinking Elliot grumbles bout Ross’s hair being unruly and he’s worried that mira’s using it like a personal storage system again and Ross is like “I’ve been keeping better track of that actually” and then like a little line of paper clips and a few hand-bound notebooks tied together w some string fall out of his fucking mane and he’s like “I can explain”

87- “dad you can’t keep letting her use your hair like a fucking NEST”

88- Tess is laughing now cos god damn this was not what she was expecting

89- that’s it the end it ends w Tess laughing at them being idiots good times r had by all

Uhhhh that’s it so far. I have More but it’s kinda jumbled rn and I need to fit stuff in places. Anyway.

[doorbloggr]

Friday 30/4/21 - A D&D Group's Designated Note-taker and Fan-artist

2020 was a year that took a lot away, but it was also a year that gave a lot of new opportunities. Thanks to the dissolving of a gaming club me and my three closest friends used to attend, we now consistently had Friday's free. One friend suggested we do weekly Dungeons and Dragons sessions as an excuse to hang out, and thus began a new chapter of my life.

Credit: me; Group shot of every D&D character I played as during 2020.

As someone new to D&D, I was happy to be a player while some of other friends DM'd (played the role of Dungeon Master, the story teller during D&D games who dictates how our world plays).

If you've followed my blog so far, you can probably tell by now I am very meticulous with documenting everything in precise detail. So even if I was only a player during our D&D games, I brought an exercise book and pens, and chronicled everything that happened.

I was later shocked to find that a player who writes down all that happens is a rarer type of player. My session notes were greatly appreciated by the DM and the players as a secondary take on events that complimented the DM's own notes.

A Volume or Two of Session Notes

One of my friends introduced me to a small crafts company called The Rook and the Raven who make materials specifically for Note Taking in D&D, and I have invest in many a booster pack to better chronicle our adventures.

My two binder notebooks of Session Notes. The bigger left book is most of the 45 sessions of our Tomb of Annihilation campaign. The note book on the right is full of all ongoing series yet to finish.

A typical Friday Night D&D session will go for 3 or 4 hours plus breaks, but a lot of that is chat and banter too. Depending on whether the session is combat or role-play heavy, my notes will range mostly between 5-8 pages per session.

In my notes I detail character interactions, puzzles, building layouts, quest requests, and combat. Combat is probably the most detailed parts of my notes, since I detail Initiative Order, what every character does per turn, how much damage they give and take, and what attacks they are using.

An excerpt from my Session Notes, a battle encounter between the Everift Party and some Kobolds

Often, if the game is moving slow enough, I will accompany my notes with little doodles of our characters interacting, attacking or just goofing off. And this led to my other main interaction with D&D and this group.

Fan-Artist for your own group

As someone who draws a lot, visualising everyone's characters and representing them in art was important to me. And after the first couple of sessions, I made Session Arts a regular thing.

Session Art for Chapter 5 of Everift, a setting and story that our DM created themselves

For most of 2020, we alternated between two campaigns, the DM of one campaign subbing in as a player in the other's and vice versa. Each series' sessions were documented by chapter numbers and titles for each chapter.

For each session, I made an art piece attempting to sum up the session as a whole, or at least one of its more memorable moments. And for our main two series, I did not miss one session art that year. When players had to make new characters, I would ask them to pitch a design to me so that I could visualise their character and depict them in my notes and in the next session art.

Mock up sketches for the party's new characters after literally everyone died the previous session

My friends did not ask me to do this; becoming the dedicated fan artist for our group was my own personal endeavour, and to be honest, it helped me grow as an artist. Drawing people in general was a weakpoint of mine, so dedicating myself to drawing essentially a poster once a week was quite the creative exercise.

Session Art for Tomb of Annihilation Chapter 7 (left) compared with Chapter 45, the series' finale (right). Yes I used Star Wars posters for inspiration in both of these.

I started Digital Art in October 2020, and I was quite proud to say the access to colours and editing greatly increased the quality of my art in general. But specifically, my D&D Art became much more refined.

Some of my more recent session arts that I am particularly proud of. All three are from different campaigns that are still ongoing.

Sometimes I feel that my own interest in our group's D&D activities is a bit too obsessive and I will often flood our groupchats with fanarts in progress and my personal spitballing on lore and character backstory stuff, but they put up with me and I'm glad. Because if I didn't develop a new obsession in 2020, i would've been a much sadder person.

[markleebee]

tag gamesヽ(^◇^*)/

— tagged by: @dropofgoldensun​ <3 (sorry it took so long, it long and I'm lazy lol)

— tagging: @rebellionburnsthemup​ @channoticedmeuwu

tag game #1: bias selfie tag

lol not happening,,

tag game #2

rules: post your lockscreen, homescreen, last song you listened to, last idol, meme, and screenshot you saved.

okay I feel like I should explain:

lockscreen/homescreen - i like my friends <3 (we were literally sitting on some random benches eating ice cream at 10pm with spoons we took from my friend's dad's house)

I'm a champagne problems bitch a fic based on this song coming soon

Jaehyun <3 also boys in converse,,

Jeno meme is pretty self explanatory

A screenshot of my chem homework,,

tag game #3

rule: it’s time to love yourself! choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want so we can spread the love and link each other’s awesome works!

Since I only have 3 works, I'll be choosing specific chapters

fireflies - part 49: i enjoyed seeing everyone's reactions :D

love again - part 7: we love a good Jeno face reveal

my first and last - part 6: the YouTube thumbnail 🤠

fireflies - part 4: I would like Renjun to run me over,,

fireflies - part 23: it's just really cute

If you couldn't tell, I really like fireflies (do you guys have any favorite chapters?)

tag game #4

rule: you’re starring in a movie with the last person you saved in your camera roll and the last song you listened to is the title. who/what is it?

I did it here!

tag game #5: day to day interests

last song i listened to: mad woman - taylor swift

currently reading: my chemistry textbook... (i also started reading a book where psycologists analyze donald trump, but i left it at home)

currently watching: i kinda just watch random youtube videos

currently craving: mangoes (specifically the big mexican ones)

currently working on: school?? but also the fireflies epilogue, walk you home (jaemin smau), a spicy jeno angst

currently playing: folklore/evermore by taylor swift

[grandmasterofwangxiancultivation]

SV ch.50

oKAY BREATH IN BREATH OUT WELCOME HOME (i was blissfully ignorant of this update cause i wasn’t home), ME, SV CH 50 IS OUT

EDIT: sqq trying to kick lbh away and lbh getting “hell no shizun” and diving in again only to back up a bit and call him “shizun” thank you mxtx, my life is complete. NEXT ON OUR SCREEN: HOW SQQ’LL REALISE HE IS IN FACT GAY FOR LBH

He didn’t raise the male protagonist into an asexual, and it wasn’t a problem of him being masochistic either. The truth was far more terrible than those options: he had raised the male protagonist into being gay aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!

AND WHAT A WONDERFUL TEACHER 

EDIT 2: SOMEONE BROKE IN. I’M GONNA GO AND SAY IT IS BEAUTIFUL BROTHER LQG

EDIT 3: i KnEw It-

EDIT 4: OKAY SHIZUN GOT INTO PROTECTIVE MODE (over lqg? yes, but fight me and say it’s not over lbh, too), HE CAN THROW A FIT AT ME AND SAY THA’TS NOT TRUE BUT

Dammit. Liu Qingge just had to come at this time. There was no way Shen Qingqiu could throw him to the completely broken down Luo Binghe who was in the middle of throwing a fit, right?

NOT TRUE? AOJDIOPAJSDIOW WHO ARE YOU TRYING TO FOOL SQQ-

EDIT 5: 

Luo Binghe himself was only wearing his inner clothes, looking like he had just gotten up from his bed. His black hair was scattered and loose, his clothes disorganized, his neckline crooked and open. His face was pale white but his lips carried a touch of bloody red. Cold light flashed in his eyes, the ghastly energy exerting immense pressure. The cutting edge of his sword was exposed and his posture was one of preparation for battle.

omg i think he is beautiful

EDIT 6: wAIT WAIT

Instead of saying it was a person, it would be better to say it was “a body”: completely lifeless, head hanging down, limbs weak, but very soft. It was wearing a thin layer of inner clothes. The collar had slipped below the shoulders, revealing half of a back as white as paper.

IS THAT SQQ’S BODY MAYBE? IS IT? LQG SEEMS SO ANGRY, AND WHO ELSE WOULD LBH WANT TO SLEEP (sleep sleep, not sex, omg, i’m not into necrophilia) WITH

EDIT 7: OKAY IT HAS TO BE SHIZUN’S BODY

Shen Qingqiu was completely speechless. Two people—to be specific a living person and a dead person—who were not wearing covering clothes as they rolled down from a place similar to a bed and hugged into a ball——no matter how one looked at it, it didn’t seem like anything positive!

that’s... incredibly suspicious, but honestly i don’t think lbh would be into that, he probably just misses sqq a lot? IT’S OKAY BABY DON’T WORRY HE IS  R I G H T  T H E R E if only sqq would tAlK- 

EDIT 8:

During their rough and tumble duel, that body’s clothes loosened and slid down to the waist, and Luo Binghe’s palm directly attached to the fair flesh. Liu Qingge’s eyes turned completely bloodshot: “Brute, no matter what, he is your Shizun!”

Luo Binghe calmly said: “If it were someone else, do you think I would do this?”

OH MY GOD-

EDIT 9:

His brain was as full of holes as the surface of the moon, but he had never once imagined there would come a day where he became one of the main characters in this hardcore PLAY. The one held in Luo Binghe’s arms……was indeed dead, right? Absolutely correct, because that was his corpse, alright?!

okay, like, but think about it. you find someone sleeping with your corpse and you are right there and just- aside from the fact that you are literally looking at your corpse omg, i bet that’s be strange af. 

I love how shizun freaks out in his head while outside he is stoic and emotionless

EDIT 10: SHIZUN SENDING SPIRITUAL ENERGY TO LQG, Y E S

mxtx are you trying to make me ship these two

EDIT 11:

Even after Luo Binghe was forced to let go, his line of sight remained firmly stuck on that body, and his face showed unwillingness and helplessness. Seeing his expression, Shen Qingqiu abruptly could not bear it. Using this method to force him to let go felt a little bit like they were bullying him.

nO mY bAbY-

OKAY BUT???? THIS IS SO SAD???? CAN YOU STOP HURTING LBH PLS, HASN’T HE BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH???? 

SHIZUN CAN YOU FREAKING TELL HIM YOU ARE ALIVE THANKS A  L O T

EDIT 12: OKAY OKAY OKAY THIS IS SO STRANGE AND INDEED PROVOCATIVE BUT NOT HOW LBH SAYS IT IS 

sqq caught the corpse, he is literally holding himself in his arms, and omg this is so strange what the hell i’m loving every second of this. but sqq’s dead body is half naked and lbh is like yOu ArE tOuChInG mY sHiZuN, which- which is A BIG NOPE, since this scene is described as 

Added to how he was touching and looking at it…. It was overall an extremely unhealthy and rather provocative sight.

so i just imagine two sqq in lbh’s eyes, one dead and one alive, and think why can’t lbh suddenly understand everything and jump sqq and be happy, why are you throwing this angst at us-

He hurriedly pulled up the corpse’s clothes and sent this hot potato towards Liu Qingge: “Catch!”

in the meantime, these two children are playing volleyball with a dead body. you know, like zombie-haikyuu

EDIT 13: why did lqg feel some kind of electrical current touching sqq’s dead body, but shizun didn’t? or did i miss it?

EDIT 14:

Zheng Yang, Xiu Ya.

These two broken swords had once shared a common destiny and been shattered in countless pieces. It was unclear how they had been repaired, tied together, and placed in the Huan Hua Pavilion.

okay who asked you all to hit me like with angst-

EDIT 15:

Seeing these two swords once again, Shen Qingqiu felt an unclear taste rising in his heart and looked at Luo Binghe. His clothes had originally been untidy in the first place, and now after this wave of bombardments, his well-defined clavicle and chest were all exposed. On his chest wall, a hideous sword scar approached his heart.

Luo Binghe’s self-regeneration ability was extremely strong. Even if his limbs were cut off, he could seamlessly re-attach them, and even re-grow them without a problem. Unless he deliberately chose not to heal them, there were no wounds he couldn’t completely recover without even leaving a scar.

NO. OKAY STOP THIS ANGST RIGHT NOW. 

wait, no, maybe shizun will realise how strong lbh’s feelings are, it may work, bUT MY HEART-

(LBH YELLING THAT HE SPARED LQG’S LIFE FOR SHIZUN’S SAKE IS SO HEART WRENCHING I CAN’T DO THIS IF SQQ DOESN’T COME CLEAN WITH THE FACT THAT HE IS ALIVE PLS SHIZUN GIVE. HIM. HOPE. BACK.)

EDIT 16:

Luo Binghe originally wanted to attack, but he unexpectedly felt his heart quake—the backlash of the Xin Mo sword came out of the blue and slowed him down by a hair. Just from this missing hair, he could only look on helplessly as Liu Qingge left with Shen Qingqiu’s corpse under his arm.

*sobs* now shizun will help him by sending him his spiritual energy and fill the void caused by sqq’s dead corpse disappearing before his eyes.

right?

RIGHT?

EDIT 17:

Shen Qingqiu had been planning to take advantage of his daze to fish in troubled waters and slip away. But when he saw this situation, for some unknown reason, his heel stuck to the ground and that flash of unbearableness grew more and more intense.

OMG PLS SHIZUN.

those are your feelings telling you what the right thing to do is, LISTEN TO THEM AND Go To YoUr LbH-

EDIT 18:

The problem came with this untimely softening of his heart. He had not successfully snuck away when Luo Binghe suddenly turned his head, those two violent red eyes fixated directly on him.

sHiT sHiT *nervous energy*

*sweats heavily*

EDIT 19:

He wanted to tell him: “Don’t be this sad, Shizun is not dead.”

D O  I T  FREAKING Do It PlS sHiZuN-

I DON’T HAVE THE STRENGHT TO GO ON, I’M SO FRIGGING SCARED

EDIT 20:

The figure moved with remarkable swiftness, wrapping up Shen Qingqiu and leaving like a whirlwind.

whaT-

what happened? someone came with lqg and helped him, but who? are they the same person that just helped shizun? thank you for the help, stranger, but YOU DIDN’T REALLY HAVE TO, SHIZUN WAS GONNA CONFESS.

(no, okay, ty for saving him bUT-

also, i feel so bad for hualing, babe-)

HOW CAN THE CHAPTER END LIKE THAT

[jaywrites101]

Ye Olde Tag Game

I was tagged by @bexminx, thanks a bunch for the tag. There’s something about these games that just gets me pumped for writing.

1: What book have you read a million times and would read a million times more? And why?

Keys to the Kingdom, by Garth Nix. I grew up with the series, reading them nearly as much as Harry Potter. It’s an older series, but you should check them out.

2: Which OC of your current wip did you come up with first?

That would be The Wingman. Our foolishly optimistic hero who’s on death’s door.

3: What piece of world-building gave or is giving you the most trouble?

I suppose (for now) that would be the gang initiations. I’ve never been in a gang (thank God!) so the only bit’s I kinda-sorta know are the stuff they show you on T.V. and that has a hit-and-miss track record. And I have ZERO interest in finding someone IRL who is/was in a gang for research purposes so-o-o-o... I’m just taking my best guess at the experience and hoping it doesn’t break everyone’s suspension of disbelief.

In the past, other struggles with worldbuilding also came from things I hadn’t experienced first hand or met someone who’s dealt with that issue before.

4: What type of scene is your favorite to write? Why?

Rising action scenes. Every time. I get wrapped up in my own intensity as the stakes get higher and higher. Anywhere you think to yourself whoa, that got tense fast. I’m sitting on the other end of the process going I know, right?!? Like it’s legit so much fun for me to just keep winding things up.

5: (Stealing this one) What chapter of your main wip is your favorite? Why?

I’ve not been writing on The City in FreeFall long enough to have a favorite yet =( But, for A Treasure Made of Death, I had a lot of love for my section titled Exploration and Frustration. It was the last time I had to really be fun before all the characters had to gear up for the intense action. And a lot of fun was had. =D Drake tried so hard to find something useful in this scene only for him to not even recognize a book when he (or more accurately, when Dela) found one.

6: If your OCs were transplanted into another genre (say, fantasy to sci-fi or sci-fi to horror), what would their new occupations be?

I could very easily see The Wingman transplanted into a horror film just to be that guy that gets killed because he was the one person to try to do the sensible thing. (Sensible things never work in horror films.)

7: How well would you survive if you were dropped into the world of your main wip?

Actually, Pretty well... Even if I was literally dropped into the world of The City in FreeFall, I’m pretty confident that The Wingman will catch me before anything bad happens.

8: Which of your OCs is the scariest, or if none are scary, which is the sweetest? Why?

That depends on how we want to define scary. I have characters who don’t rate very high on the unusual or spooky meters but their absolutely terrifying in implication. Like the Casual Killer from A Simple Casual Murder.  But if we’re going for the “I met this thing in a haunted house and my soul left my body from fear alone.” We’re going to have to go with Blane Cook. Cook is a monster of a man who loves torturing people before killing them. Low key, he could star in his own horror film.

9: What would you say was the one thing that sparked the idea for your main wip?

I was watching the first season of Legends of Tomorow and I really didn’t like what they did to Kendra and Carter’s characters. Like, Hawkgirl and Hawkman have so much potential if you’re rebooting their origin story but they were the blandest characters of the season!  So I was thinking of Superheroes and how I’d create my own when I felt the urge to write the idea page for CFF. And thus The Wingman was born!

10: Describe the space you write in like you’re telling a story.

I’ll start at the table, my laptop plugged in. My cat’s try to help me write by sitting on my keyboard. My brother’s watching T.V. in the living room. The cats won’t stop biting the charger, I have to make a choice. Spray-bottle or move... I choose to move. Nowhere I sit is good today. My room? Too dark, too cluttered. The living room is too loud. In a fit of despiration, I grab a card table and a folding chair and sit outside. The heat hit’s me like a wave. Bugs cry out from the woods. Our outdoor cats rub against my ankles looking for attention. But they don’t jump on the table. My fingers fly across the keyboard. What will I write next? Even I don’t know.

A pause.

The next line occurs to me. I write it down as fast as I can before the train of thought leaves me forever. The sun is straight above me. I’m drowning in my own sweat. My concrete porch is protected by a wooden roof that wasps now claim as their home. I itch at my feet, in my socs, on my leg, and down my back. Flies, I hope. I write the next line and pray it’s not spiders. And why should it be spiders? They don’t like humans... I swat at my itches aggressively. The cat’s look at me like I’m a madman. The porch is too safe. Too close to the wall. Bugs won’t leave me alone. I move to the grass underneath the massive oak. It’s the biggest tree I’ve ever seen, probably the biggest in the state. I can’t help but admire it as I sit beneath limbs that are bigger around than I am. The chair sinks three inches into the wet grass again. I don’t have to sit here for long, just long enough to finish the scene.

I can’t do it!

The bugs are maddening. I can’t stop itching! 

What line was I on? What line is next?? I have to re-read what I wrote. No time to edit, just focus. The. Next. Line. Is... There! Back on track again. The scene is so close to finishing. Oh, what I wouldn’t do for a room that locked, or a table inside that filled with loving cats! It’s not their fault. They don’t understand why it’s so important to-

It’s finished! I’m a week behind my schedule, but my bit for today is done! I can go inside, so I do. A shower awaits! When I’m done I can get on Twitter, on Tumblr and watch more YouTube videos on the couch. I didn’t get a call today either... Summer’s already began but no one wants to hire a starving author from nowheresville when there are teens eagerly applying for jobs. I must be a madman...

I must be a madman...

I must be...

11: What is the first thing you remember reading and thinking ‘This inspires me to write’?

You know what? I’m not sure. When I started, I got that “I want to write,” moment when I turned in my assignment for our eighth-grade English assignment. We were supposed to make up a story based around a butterfly we spend a period drawing and while everyone else turned in their 1 and a half page minimum I had seven pages... and it still wasn’t finished... ^///^

One of my other teachers heard about the incident and said that I should be a writer and I just... liked the idea of it. It was like the perfect glove, a shoe that was just my size. It felt right. And I’ve wanted to write ever since.

SO, I know at least some of you might be concerned about the above story. Don’t be. It is just a story.

I did go outside to write the other day, but it wasn’t nearly that bad... mostly. There’s not really a good place to write in my house and I do move around a lot... but I wrote this as if it was happening to someone else. My thoughts are so meta-focused that it’s hard to imagine what I’d do, say, or think in any given scenario... Makes it easy to get into other character’s heads... not so much for my own.

Sorry if I scared you.

@ If you see this post. You’re tagged! No excuses! Like and reblog now. (because I can see you. =P) and make your own tag responses. (Also don’t forget to go to bexminx at the top of the page and give her a few likes as well.)

[literallyprentissstwin]

Week 11: Tuesday, July 24th to Sunday, July 29th 2018 

bonjour & welcome to this week´s reading list (which is finally up IN TIME). i only have one more week of summer break left and i´m crying bc i don´t want it to be over and i don´t wanna be in my final year of my apprenticeship aaah. 

anyway, as always, i combined a list of my favorite fics i read over the week :) i really hope you´ll enjoy them as much as i did. don´t forget to leave some love and feedback to the authors :) 

enjoy! 

aileen xx

1. Redamancy Pt. 13, Pt. 14 , Pt. 15 by @xocriminal-minds-imaginesxo

i´m in love with this multiparter, i really really am. the storylineis pretty interesting and there is so much diversity in the plot. i love to see how the relationship between Ella & Luke is building up and developing. it´s so good. could you please tag me in this story as well as in your other works? you´re a really talented writer & i basically live for all your writings :) that would be pretty cool! 

2. Undercover I Aaron Hotchner by @bettysblossoms 

awww this was so good and cute and basically made me smile a lot. i really really loved reading is. prentiss is savage, i live for her. very good, great work! 

3. To Family by @ionlyreadfivebookslastweek  

YES TO DAD!REID! i´m living for these kind of stories ( @cm writers: watch & learn!). omg this was so perfect. like the building up of this storyline...really good! the ending was heartwarming! i´m in love :) 

4. Tequila by @xocriminal-minds-imaginesxo 

this was freaking hilarious. like i died bc of too much laughing. like seriously, it´s so good and funny and  i loved will & aaron in it :D i´m just, really happy this story exists! :) 

5. Article of Faith - Chapter 23 , Chapter 24 - The Writer´s Ending by @dontshootmespence 

ooooo god, i´m scared. i really love how the team is still having reid´s back eventhough they are getting suspious and maybe part of them believes matt, but they would still support him no matter what and that´s just so beautiful to see god. it hurts my heart to see emily like this at the end of chapter 23. :((( i´m just so curious to find out where this story is going :) i love it a lot! edit: can we talk about your ending here? it killed me :))))) my heart is aching but it´s sooo good! i´m kind of sad this story is coming to an end :(((

6. Dad´s Spaghetti by @dontshootmespence

rossi is literally the coolest Dad on earth. like he´s so chill, but also so caring & protective. any child could be happy to have him as their dad. (i want him as my dad). i loved this story a lot <3 

7. Means So Little by @dontshootmespence 

THIS was a 100% relatable istg. like i was exactly in that position after i cut my extremley long hair off. i hate it that people make such a big deal of it ugh. i loved reid´s reaction to it, bc he´s right. it´s just hair, it means so little. great story! 

8. We Love, We Fight by @ionlyreadfivebookslastweek 

omg this was so good. i was at the edge of my seat. i loved the team in it. very well written. the ending was everything :))) great work! 

9. capable. by @uncomfie 

woooooooah wait...what were you trying to do with this story? trying to kill me???? holy shit, this was not what i expected when i read “death” in the warnings. uuuuugh. my heart hurts so bad but it´s soooo good! well done dude <3 

10. Take His Power Away by @dontshootmespence 

ok wow, this was so good. i love matt with all my heart and it pains me to see him hurting bc he loves his family so much & would literally do anything to protect them. this was so good! i def need more family moments of him in S14 (which we will get according to daniel yey <3). this piece was so rare and beautiful :) 

11. Yeah by @ionlyreadfivebookslastweek 

so so GOOD. all the emotions were covered so well. i loved reading it a lot <3 it was perfect, well done :) 

12. This is Home by @xocriminal-minds-imaginesxo 

ooooooo god. my heart. i miss aaron hotchner a whole lot uuugh. i loved this piece and i loved their relationship :) 

13. Of All Places // Spencer Reid by @itsmeedee 

idk why but at first i was a little confused when i started reading it but then i eventually got it and it was fun to read. especially luke at the end :D great job! it´s a shortie but a goodie! :) 

14. Work It Out (Spencer) by @the-girl-under-bofurs-hat 

okay first things first: @ Anon: please don´t send the same request to different writers. this is annoying af. like it happened to me too and it´s really annoying. so plesae, stop it! thanks. 

okay back to the fic: WOW i loved it. spencer was so different in this fic at first, i was like ”damn get your shit together”. but then derek came and blow his mind (holy crap i was scared of morgan in that moment.) and we got a happy end yey. i loved JJ and Morgan in it. they were the best <3 great work! i really enjoyed reading it :) 

15. sophia. by @uncomfie 

ok this was a fic i requested and omg let me tell you you did justice to my request like omg it turned out so so so good, you master of derek morgan fics. i loved how derek & y/n protected sophia and as much as i wanted them to adopt her, i prefer the way they chose! i loved loved loved reading it! well done dude :)

16. Black Light by @illegalcerebral  

this story here is an entry to my challenge, thank you sarah for participating <3  okay, can we talk about garcia in this fic? like this is a whole new side to this woman, but it´s something i could really imagine her doing when it comes to her family. like i think the cm writers don´t give her enough credit and only show one side. but we need to believe that this side (you wrote in the story) is also there and tbh i liked it, eventhough it didn´t have quite the happy ending and she left :( but dear god, the angst was real and i loved reading it a lot! recommend 10/10! well done :) 

this was this week´s reading list. a shorter one bc i didn´t read as much as i usual do! next week´s list will be the last in my summer break. i´m not sure how busy i´ll be once my final school years starts but i´m trying to keep the lists! :) 

i hope you enjoyed reading it! leave some love to the writers & see you all next week! 

[tabaluga-audio-books]

Tabaluga and the shining Silence (Part one)

This is the translation to the second Tabaluga audio book “Tabaluga und das leuchtende Schweigen” by Peter Maffay.

I included links to the original chapters on YouTube and Spotify. Why did I do that? Because there are quite a few songs in the original and personally I prefer to listen to songs while reading the translation to them. So just click on them if you’re interested.

Sadly Tabaluga isn’t that well known outside of Germany, but hey, maybe this will get some people interested. I grew up with Tabaluga and it will always have a place in my heart.

Also: The songs have a certain feel to it in the original. I tried to capture that in the translation, hopefully it worked.

Btw, you probably noticed that I’m not a native English speaker. That means there could be a few things that sound a bit weird. If you find any mistakes, tell me please!

Here’s the Spotify link: https://open.spotify.com/album/0xmyI01Z5sfZElZDwfCzYD

This is the google docs link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1yxZvp79kKTFQ3FmRoBJZ6LZsT5wGGIO8c7RgPyGRDuA/edit?usp=sharing

I left some comments in the google document. Not a lot, but maybe you’re interested in reading them.

I’ll post it under the cut too.

Have fun!

Tabaluga and the shining silence - Part one: Overture

(The shining silence is more of a philosophical thing than the literal translation. More like “Inner peace” or “shining feeling of happiness”)

Narrator - The shining silence (1)

Curiously Tabaluga looked into the mysterious jade stone that he snatched from Tyrion, his father, when he wasn't paying attention. "We dragons," Tyrion always said "are only allowed to use this stone when we're in extreme danger. With it's help we're able to transfer ourselves to every place in the universe; but it's power is limited." At that very moment a beautiful woman appeared in front of Tabaluga's marvelling eyes. She had a little dog with her that was eating out of a bowl while wagging its tail.

Song-ish - Dr. Barkies meatballs

Dr. Barkie's meatballs... all dogs love Barkie's meatballs. Give your sweetheart Dr. Barkie's meatballs on a daily basis. All dogs love Barkie's meatballs. That's when the dog feels all your love. Dr. Barkie's meatballs...

Narrator

"Caught in the act!" roared Tyrion's voice behind him. He already wanted to start a lecture when Tabaluga asked him: "Dad, what is love?"

Tabaluga and the shining silence - Part two: Where am I from, where will I go

Song - Where am I from, where will I go

Where am I from and where will I go. Who tells me who I was and who I really am. Am I real, or am I just having a bad dream. Am I here just for fun or for what? Just as a decoration. A goldfish in a tank. Is that the meaning? Where is the meaning?

There's this thing that's called love. Has this thing been around for long? Everyone's talking about it and I... How do I get it? Do you need this thing to live? Like you need the sunshine, Is this thing at home in my brain or in my gut?

Where am I from and where will I go? Is every ending a new beginning at the same time, I'll find it out, I will find it out.

Does this has something to do with love? This word holds the answer. Where am I from, but where will I go?

There's this thing that's called love. Has this thing been around for long? Everyone's talking about it and I... How do I get it. There's this thing that's called love. Has this thing been around for long? Everyone's talking about it and I... How do I get it. Do you need this thing to live Like you need the sunshine Is this thing at home in my brain or in my gut.

Narrator

"And now enough of this nonsense," grumbled Tyrion, "your mother and I have been together for four hundred years and sometimes we still don't know what love is. Mmmm... you should rather practice flying. Your swoop is disgraceful. You have to be ashamed of a son like this." In his anger, Tyrion forgot to take back the jade stone from Tabaluga. The little dragon took the opportunity. He turned the stone in his hand and whispered:

Song-ish - Jade stone in my hand

Jade stone in my hand, Take me to a distant land.

Narrator

In this moment everything turned black. He was overwhelmed with the same feeling as before when he played with the stone: Something pulled him out of his world and into another one. Maybe this stone was more than just a toy...

A band of light started to grow out of the endless darkness, as high as the stars and as wide as the horizon, more colorful and radiant than the craziest dream could ever be: A rainbow. Tabaluga swam in a sea of music and colours and there was no hesitation from him: He needed to go up there. He could barely end his train of thoughts before he realized that he was already standing on the highest point on the rainbow, that was like a giant bridge that connected two worlds with each other. Where he came from, the rainbow touched bare rock. The other end, however, swung down into a flower forest.

"I want to take a closer look!"

Like on a giant slide, Tabaluga whizzed down and almost fell over a little girl sitting at the end of the rainbow, crying. Wherever her tears touched the ground, a new flower-tree grew. "I am the Halfchild," said the girl and cried.

Tabaluga and the shining silence - Part three: Halfchild

Song - Halfchild

You always come to the world at the wrong time. Your first word is I, not you. Your godfather is the love, that only lasts for a summer It doesn't fit you, the golden shoe.

Your parents hurt each other with words, and always affect you with it. So the feelings die, like a butterfly in the snow. Born too soon but still proud and free.

Halfchild Your mother is the sun, your father is the moon. Half sun, half moon, Halfchild and all alone, like Halfchildren are. Halfchild

Halfchild Your mother is distant and hot. Your father is close and cold. Rarely someone that loves you. And you're looking for support.

Like the gaze of your eyes, endless and wide, you're hovering between here and there. As far away from the cold as from tenderness. You're not staying here and you're not leaving.

Halfchild Your mother is the sun, your father is the moon. Half sun, half moon, Halfchild and all alone, like Halfchildren are. Halfchild

Halfchild Your mother is distant and hot. Your father is close and cold. Rarely someone that loves you. And you're looking for support.

Halfchild Your mother is the sun, your father is the moon. Half sun, half moon, Halfchild and all alone, like Halfchildren are. Halfchild

Halfchild (Your mother is distant and hot. Your father is close and cold. Rarely someone that loves you. And you're looking for support.)

Narrator

Tabaluga wondered, "Tell me, why are you so sad? You don't really have a reason for that, if you have the sun as mother and the moon as father, then that should be great, right? My parents are just dragons, and I do not cry either. "

"And don't forget, she has the rainbow as her friend," heard Tabaluga whispering next to his ear, "but even that doesn't make her happy, because she doesn't love herself; and who doesn't love themselves can't love anyone else either. Only sadness remains for those and they also won't listen to anyone. If Halfchild would listen to me..."

Tabaluga and the shining silence translation part 2 Tabaluga and the shining silence translation part 3 Tabaluga and the shining silence translation part 4 Tabaluga and the shining silence translation part 5

[nerdarchy-blog]

When Nerdarchy went to GenCon 2018 I met some of the people over at Legendary Games and got a copy of their Forest Kingdom Campaign Compendium for 5E D&D to check out. I am a huge fan of fey and forest games out in the wilderness and away from normal civilization. If you want to pick up the book on Amazon you can do so here. You can also head over to the Legendary Games site and check out this or other amazing products they offer.

5E D&D Forest Kingdom Campaign all-in-one

From the back cover

“Step into the shadowed boughs of the forest realm to find a wild world of magic, mystery, monsters, and more! From the misty boreal taiga of the cold northern reaches to the wondrous glades of enchanting fey beauty, the Forest Kingdom Campaign Compendium from Legendary Games offers a wealth of amazing expansions for your wilderness campaign using the 5th edition of the world’s most famous RPG!”

Flipping through this, I’m impressed by the amazingly high quality. Gorgeous full color artwork is found throughout. You can see some of my favorite pieces in the slideshow below. Each page has a stripe of artwork on the left and right sides of each bi-folded page. It is a hard cover book and jam packed into over 350 pages of useful stuff. The back of the book contains 6 pages of maps you can use as references for your players as well as a page of paper-craft minis, if you are willing to cut your book. But you can save your book and pick it up as a PDF as well, so you can print as many of the paper-craft and map pages as you need.

But I am sure you are excited to know what else is inside. When I saw the table of contents I knew I needed to have a copy of this book for my gaming shelf as it has material designed for both the player and the Game Master.

Chapter 1 gives fey and forest options. You get 19 new subclasses for your typical classes: bard, cleric, druid, fighter, ranger, sorcerer, and warlock. You even get 6 new warlock Eldritch Invocations. You get a couple of new feats like Fairy Blessing and True Love’s Kiss that give fun roleplaying benefits. They really encourage the roleplaying in this game, which I love. I think these would make great rewards for quests or in-game actions, though that is just my call. I use mechanical rewards as well as story rewards in my games. There is also 18 new spells fit for your game in this setting.

Chapter 2 goes into new magic items. There are 40 new magic items going from common to artifact in power. Things like survivalist arrow all the way to fractured phylactery. Though I do have to say collecting owlbear dander might be a new thing in my game after reading this.

Chapter 3 and beyond starts going into the campaign portion of what the book is about. In case players out there are using this I am going to keep my information vague but hopefully helpful in your decision as to whether or not you are looking to pick this book up, Though my recommendation is certainly to do so.

Chapter 3 is about the Faerie Forests. We start off with a nice sidebar comparing east vs. west of mythology where fey are concerned. I am glad they have taken the time to go into this, as the Asian mythology has many useful aspects where fey are concerned and to have them incorporated is just awesome. The rest of the chapter goes on to influence, impulses, effects, rumors, bargains, and lore. This chapter is enough material for repeated use in your games. There is so much packed into these 50 pages that I marvel at how they did it. The bargains section is intense and, as it should, makes me want to revisit my fey game I played recently and enter in a lot of the great material found here. Come on, who goes to the fey wild without seeing a fey willing to make a bargain with the player characters?

Chapter 4 is worth a read for any GM as it does not necessarily have to do with fey and forests although it certainly could. It is about Royal Tournaments. You get rules for jousts and a number of other games as well as what rewards might be had by winning. Roughly 35 pages that are useful for GMs who want to have a nice relaxing session of fun revelry and games but are just not sure how to do so.

Chapter 5 is Countries and Characters. Here you get a more in-depth look at the places you could use in your game. It is useful to know about the places you will travel during your game, if you want to use their setting, and here is where you get a lot of that.

Chapter 6 is about some premade characters that you can use as fully fleshed out NPCs or as player characters. They have all the information there ready. I think this feature is really cool. You have full page art you can share with your players so they to take in the character they are meeting in full view.

Chapter 7 is another section that is useful for any GM. Here is a section of Monsters of the Forest. You have over 60 creatures designed as potential friend or foe depending on the type of game you are playing. There’s weak and tiny monsters all the way to incredibly large and powerful monsters. They posses a wide array of abilities and like I stated this is a section any GM can use. Because you can never have enough monsters, am I right?

Chapter 8 is an adventure.

“Cold Mountain is an adventure set in the back country of the rugged frontier lands that PCs are in the progress of exploring and perhaps even claiming as their own. It is designed for characters of 4th level who have begun to achieve some success with adventuring…”

Having all of the great information plus a fully incorporated adventure makes this book a total winner by my standards. You literally could take the 5E D&D PHB and this book and have enough stuff to run a large number of 5E D&D games.

Again if you want to pick this book up from Amazon you can do so here or if you want to check out the publisher you can do so at the Legendary Games site. There are awesome deals over on their main site including 20 PDFs for $20. These are very much worth checking out.

Thanks for reading and as always until next time, stay nerdy!

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Whether you're running a full-on forest kingdom campaign or taking a side trip to the fey realms @LegendaryGamesJ got the magic, myth, monster and more covered for your #DnD games When Nerdarchy went to GenCon 2018 I met some of the people over at Legendary Games…

[hecallsmehischild]

Mental Organization

Less a post to vent poison right now. More a post to untangle the ball of yarn and line the skeins up neatly in their compartments because right now it’s all one huge mishmash and I think it’s keeping me from what they call “executive function.”

Projects that I have a handle on but that I keep having to stop because I can’t make myself create something quality if my feelings are snarled

Illustrating a children’s story my friend wrote, called How To Be Good. I’m so happy with this. I’m no pro illustrator but my skills have grown a lot since I illustrated the other story (Purple is for Playtime). It’s so visually cheerful, it makes me happy to look at finished pages.

Hey Spacejerk. I love it so far but I’m apprehensive now. I’ve taken the device I was using to create this story and smashed it. How fast do I go now? I don’t really want to write a super long fanfiction. I don’t think I want this story to be longer than ten chapters more. But if I go too fast the audience will feel cheated.

Laughter Lines. I’m more sunk into the flow of this one, but constantly worried I’m going to screw up the device I’ve been laying dominoes for. It’s more complicated than my usual and, unlike previous fandoms where I could handwave these details, it will matter that everything is just right.

Elrohee. I just want to process things here. I want to be careful, too, because I don’t want it to get preachy. Ever. This series is not about being preachy and never was.

Wire trees. I created a larger wire tree recently and also a new kind of button tree that got me all excited. Then I started a tree with wire I didn’t like (because I was running out of colors) and I regret that. I don’t like the color combination. I’m staring at the half finished tree. I hate the waste, but I want to get back to being able to make trees. That half finished tree will stare me in the face forever if I don’t. So I’m standing up to throw it away now. No… No I’m not. The color combination isn’t hideous, just… not inspiring. If I add some really nice beads to it, it will perk up. I dont’ want to waste it.

Painting. Currently I have a half finished orange mask and a half finished wooden wiggly snake. Right now I have no inspiration to finish either, though I think maybe the orange mask might be flamey? Or sunny.

Crochet. I have two blankets in the works, one random-yarn blanket and one that has planned colors as a gift. They take up a lot of space.

Recording chapters of The Book of the Dun Cow aloud. This project is fun, though I do have to muster some will to make myself do it. Dramatic reading is kind of a joy, actually, especially with this book where I have all the voices down. I’m thinking of putting up the link to the whole playlist once the book is fully recorded.

Scrapbooking. I’m so happy. I have only a fraction of this project left to do, and then everything is nicely organized into binders.

And I get very angry and frustrated and kind of despair-y when I find I can’t move forward with these. It feels ridiculous because doing creative things HELPS me feel better, but I can’t do them when I feel bad??? What kind of Catch-22 is that???

Projects I am starting to get a handle on

Basic house cleaning. Or at least floors and bathrooms and countertops. Going to try and do a little bit every day that way it doesn’t become some weekly/monthly overwhelming chore I avoid like the plague.

House decorating. I’ve started getting into this and really liking it. I found a Texan-style wreath for the front door, placed 3 different house mats, and started tacking silk ivy around the kitchen windows. I’m actually kind of proud of myself about this.

Projects I am literally flailing through

Planning a wedding. Dear God, what am I doing? In the next two weeks I need to do the final ring purchase so that something has moved forward and finished. I also need to arrange the legal marriage so our paperwork is completed in the state of our residence and there aren’t any snarls with an out-of-state ceremony. That’s the goal for the next two weeks. Also how do you decorate??? (I ask, rhetorically. I’m looking through some stuff but I think I need to simplify my idea. Maybe instead of all four seasons, just winter/spring?)

Finding a therapist. The one I called isn’t responding. Don’t know how much leeway to give. If I haven’t heard back from her by Saturday night I’m going to try calling someone else. I need to move forward with getting approval for the surgery.

Krav Maga. I’m finally back and I’m doing well with jabs and punches, but anything that requires me to squat and rise multiple times is really hard. I’m very weak there, and while squatting my leg muscles just give out. I’ve looked up a beginner’s squatting routine that I’m going to TRY to enact because I really would love to stop humiliating myself in class. Been having panic issues before class (that stop once I’m in it, because there is NO ROOM in my being to have panic when I’m constantly moving) and would like that to stop. Prayed with my fiancée on the drive over and held his hand and that helped some.

Online Writing Course. Already panicked and frozen over a super vague writing prompt that doesn’t feel like enough explanation was provided. Afraid of being judged by peers. Afraid of critiquing peers because who am I to say this is good or bad? They are all in an Official Writing Course so they MUST know better than me, right? Even if it looks like they really don’t? Frozen.

Editing Best Served Cold. Froze again. Freaked out that I wasn’t a good enough writer to edit anything and froze. Freaking…

Patreon. This is a very on and off again thing. I don’t know how to self promote except through repetition which freaks me out. I don’t know how to save good things for “just the patrons” when I want to share it all. Don’t know if I should restructure all my tiers so there’s less tiers and less offerings? Very possible.

Etsy. Nobody really looks at the listings. I don’t blame them. I’m not a self promoter and I’m not a photographer. All my stuff looks better laid out on a table to sell but I don’t know where around here to do that so for now it just decorates the house. Maybe I should give up on Etsy again and just stick with my Facebook shop. People who use Etsy are serious about their business. This is a hobby I hope to sell a bit of and give the rest away.

Socially

Krav Maga class. I connected with at least one person who’s really sweet and nice. She’s more advanced than I am for sure but helps me feel a lot more at ease and I feel the need to apologize to her a lot less.

Small Group. My fiancée and I found a small group that’s an offshoot of the church we were trying. The church is a mega-church and we’re both still very wary of that. I felt very lost in a sea of people. But this group feels like a band of very real people, expressing doubts and pain while searching in the Bible together, eating pizza, and hanging out. Meets twice a month, plus one extra day that’s just girl’s night. I am looking forward to getting to know these people 3 Mondays a month.

D&D Shabbat night. Friday nights now we (light our brand new candles!) say the blessing, and eat a meal (now home cooked because ALL OUR KITCHEN IS FUNCTIONAL, WOOOOO), then retire to the great hall to play D&D. We are currently at 1 GM and 4 players, soon to be 5 players. We’re brand new so this will be glorious.

Health

BPV. Had a round of Benign Positional Vertigo for a few weeks. Finally cleared up. At least next time I’m suddenly dizzy out of nowhere I won’t think I’m dying.

Eating. Eating is weird lately. I’m walking this really fine line between getting obsessed with my weight and not caring. I have veered hard in the direction of aggressively “not caring” most of my life, partly because I was afraid of the eating disorders my friends suffered from. I’m doing pretty well with my eating, choosing my food carefully for one-main-meal-a-day-plus-light-snacks eating and trying to keep it all under 1400 cal. I don’t have a lot of impulse control when it comes to eating so I flat out can’t keep foods in the house “just for that one treat day” because that one treat day is TODAY no matter what I say to myself. Best I can do is limit my access to those foods (including turning down SOME opportunities to go out and eat). Impulse control gets worse with wonky emotions because I will eat ALL THE FEELS. Lately my main meal is (one can) tuna salad sandwich on onion roll, which is filling enough, then I eat plums and flavored rice cakes or salted-but-not-buttered-popcorn or pickles for the rest of the day. I picked up a few small soups which look good. Came to the realization recently that I really do need to stop thinking of this as something I do “Just until I get to goal weight.” In order to maintain the healthy weight I hope to achieve, I will still need to eat well. I don’t get to let loose just because I made it. So I have reluctantly begun adopting the idea that I need to do right by my eating habits as a permanent lifestyle change. I’d like to be around longer and in order to do so I need to take better care of myself than I have been. But I can feel obsession right on the edge of my consciousness and that’s a scary feeling. I’m trying not to fall into obsession or let it drive me off the other edge of extremes to not caring. Walking the tightrope carefully.

Sleep. Sleep is weird too. Some nights I wake up a lot, then I can get up in the morning easier. Some nights I zonk out straight through and then it’s super hard to get up in the morning. Still wish that I could not be so motion sensitive. I used to be Dusty-sleeps-like-a-rock and now I’m a light sleeper. All someone has to do is call my name and I jolt up.

Trich. Been obsessively tweezing a lot more. Gaps in every eyelid. Unhappy about this.

This Blog and Processing

I don’t always know what to do on here anymore. I post fanfiction, but the part of my life that I would normally process out loud... I can’t really do that now. It actually directly impacts someone this time. Feels like words are measured with a lot more care instead of just spilling out willy nilly and I don’t know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I know that things knot up inside some more, but does that mean I just need to find a different not-so-public outlet for these things? It hasn’t really worked well so far.

Ever since the beginning of the year I have wondered to myself if I am too public with things and I’ve been a step more self conscious about it (yeah, weird to say on this complete textual vomit, right? But it’s been building for a really long time and I need this) since the end of last year. I let some words get under my skin that I shouldn’t have, but they’re hard to shake because I don’t know how much objective truth is in them.

Dealing with unfamiliar feelings that I want no part of. Anger isn’t unfamiliar, but it’s unwelcome. Boundaries book says anger is a good alarm bell, but I just… don’t want to. I don’t know where the line for “good anger” is and I don’t know how to do anger without setting every bridge around me on fire. Hatred is unfamiliar and even more unwelcome. It feels like tasty, warm poison. I want it, badly. I want it as a defense against past, current, and future pain. I want to rear up and yell “Not this time!” when I see patterns from my past repeating and I want icicles dripping from my words. But it’s deeply wrong. This isn’t what the God I serve taught, and I know hatred will poison me to the core of who I am. I get that those ideas have been hackneyed to death with pop catchphrases and whatnot, but I mean… that doesn’t make it any less true. And it’s going to be really ugly and messy and I don’t want to deal with it when being ice queen would be a hell of a lot easier. Still, I don’t know how NOT to hate at this moment, so when I’m aware I give God permission to change this in me because I can’t/don’t know how to change it myself right now.

Sometimes I wish I had more to say on the Dear Someone tag, but I know who Someone is and I tell him in person every day and it’s the most beautiful, wonderful part of my life right now.

 I say a lot of negative stuff. Even if it’s true stuff, I tend to focus on processing negatives a lot. I want to figure out ways to process positive and good things. I think I’m afraid of sounding like I’m gloating or shoving good things in the face of people who are hurting. But. I also want to share the joyful things in my life. And be grateful for them publicly as I am privately. I want to rewire my brain so that the first thing that comes to mind is not what’s wrong, but what’s right. I don’t want to do this in a fakey way, that sort of front really bothers me, but there has to be some genuine way to express gratitude and joy on a more regular basis. Pain isn’t the only genuine thing there is.

I want to process publicly some of my Bible reading and I have done so, but every time I’m afraid I might be stepping on someone’s toes or making someone angry at me. I don’t want to start fights but I also want to share stuff. I don’t want to mislead people, but I want to explore.

I’m trying so hard to accept that I’m happy doing what I like, but when “doing what I like” gives out on me because I’m emotional I get so angry and upset and fearful and I wonder if I’m really okay with that at all. Or is it just my mental illness acting out, then? It’s hard to tell if that’s what’s clouding my thought process and dampening my will to act.

Misc

I feel bad that my To Do Today or Today’s Goals posts are not working for me as well as they were at the start. It feels like failure.

I feel grief and anger and uncertainty about my family situation, both immediate and extended. I still don’t know how to balance the fact that I’ve split off to start a new family (just me and my fiancée, not kids) and that this one is supposed to be my priority, while still loving the family I grew up in. Or what love looks like with distance. What I’ve been engaging in doesn’t look or feel like actual relationship.

I want to bake. I want to bake lots of sweets. Apple pies, I want to make applesauce and jam (not baking, I know), I want to make lembas bread and chocolate chip cookies and ALL OF THE THINGS.

My area is a freaking mess and I need to fix that by tomorrow. And also make Miso soup for 5.

Stressed about trying to keep all aforementioned balls in the air without melting down or losing track of any.

I think there’s more. But. I’m tired. And I need to go to bed. And this… I think this helps. I’ve shelved a lot of brain skeins tonight. Maybe I’ll be a little more productive tomorrow.

[echodrops]

The Promises I Made (2017-2018)

For the past eleven years, I have spent every New Year’s Eve compiling a list of fifty promises I intend to keep or fulfill over the next twelve months. The results have been truly amazing, and I have kept some promises I never thought I could. This year, for New Year’s, there will be a new set of promises for to me keep, but here are the old ones, for review!

The Promises I Made (2017 edition)

1) I will get a(nother) new job. Or probably just curl up and die. Status: Kept! I got a new job and moved to Texas. 2) I will translate at least one more month’s worth of Regenkatze. Status: Broken. T_T I did a few pages, but I didn’t get far. 3) I will repot all my plants that need repotting. Finally. Status: Kept, amazingly. 4) I will buy actual freakin’ curtains that I like for my house, RAWR. Status: Broken. I bought no curtains this year. D; 5) I will continue to utilize Plant Nanny to track my water intake and keep myself from getting dehydrated. Status: Broken. I was okay at the beginning of the year, but then the usage dwindled. 6) I will complete at least one craft project that requires me to utilize a new skill, like working with a new material. Status: Broken. I didn’t do anything really crafty this year… too busy moving. 7) I will repair the mortar on the fence out front and seal the bricks on the window sills. Status: Broken—ditto the above. Moved out and wasn’t able to really keep any of these promises about my Utah house. 8) I will finish at least 26 books over the course of this year. Status: …I read a lot of fanfiction. A lot. But not too many new published books. Made it to maybe ten counting the readings I had to do for World Lit class but other than that, nothing close to 26. 9) I will trim the grape vine and call the city to see about cleaning out behind the house because the water culvert is flooding into my yard and jeopardizing my garage. Status: Actually kept! It needs to be trimmed again, but yes, I was able to trim it down and keep it from flooding. 10) I will successfully pass Horsemanship II. Status: Kept. 11) I will broaden my music tastes this year by getting into at least three new bands that I have never heard of or in genres that I don’t normally listen to. Status: Kept! I got into a few new K-pop bands and also Spellblast. 12) I will do the laundry at least once every two weeks. I swear it!! Status: Uh… Somewhat kept? At the new house in Texas I have to wear nicer clothes to work so I have to do laundry more often, but I don’t know about at least once every two weeks… 13) I will finish my new Anime Expo costume early and not wait until the last moment! Status: Broken—I didn’t cosplay at all this year. D; 14) I will remove all the rocks from in front of my house because they are hella ugly. Status: Broken; see above about moving out of Utah and no longer being able to work on the Utah house much. 15) I will go to a dentist and get Invisalign or some work done to fix my front left tooth. Status: Broken. I swapped jobs and had to wait for my benefits to restart and then by that time it wasn’t a good time to get dental work done. 16) I will have at least a once weekly “game night” with my roommates. Could be fun. Status: Broken… I think that um… we played a few times. 17) I will replace the battery in my watch, finally. Status: Kept! 18) I will pay off at least half my credit card debt. Important adult thing, yo. Status: Broken, sooooo broken. T_T It just got worse, not better. D; 19) I will learn at least 100 new words in German and document them as I go to keep them fresh in my memory. Status: Broken. I totally forgot that I even made this promise… 20) I will keep up with my new book club as long as it is possible for me to attend (I.e., if I don’t move). Status: Kept. The book club kinda fell apart pretty quick, but I kept up with it until it did. 21) I will be better about walking my dog because I have been slacking lately. Status: Broken, I’m so sorry Kinguin… It’s sooo hot in Texas. 22) I will build a new PC to replace the desktop computer that my dog destroyed. SLFSFJNDFG. Still angry. Status: Broken. Moving sapped all my money away, so I could not afford a new PC. T_T 23) I will get the scratched lenses removed from my glasses and change the prescription on the orange pair of glasses too. Status: Broken. See the above deal with the new benefits not kicking in for 90+ days.

24) Also: I will get my black glasses fixed so that they stop FALLING OFF and flying into the every nearby rock and sharp pointy object… Status: Broken. T_T

25) I will obtain at least one six-star hero in Tales of Link. Don’t look at me like that. Status: Broken—I haven’t played Tales of Link in months. @_@

26) I will design at least ten outfits and post them. (I’m still trying with this one, dammit.) Status: Broken. …I guess I should probably just give up on this one…

27) I will organize my closets, especially the hall closet which looks like a bomb went off. Status: Broken. I moved out of my Utah house which did involve cleaning out the closets, but um… the closets at the new house might be just as bad now…

28) I will actually utilize the stupid Paint Tool Sai that I paid for. At least three fully colored artworks this year. Status: Broken. I was able to draw nothingggg this year. T_T

29) I will level all my battle classes to 70 in Stormblood. Status: Surprisingly broken. I wasn’t able to play much at all after July so my time for leveling just plummeted.

30) I will reach 700 followers on tumblr. You should follow me. I’m only marginally a waste of time and space. Status: Kept! I have 861 followers right now! Thanks everyone for the follows! :D

31) I will learn to make a new (delicious) cocktail or two. Status: Broken. I drank a new delicious cocktail but I didn’t make any myself.

32) I will lose ten pounds. Status: Somewhat kept? I don’t think I made it to a full 10 pounds but I did noticeably lose some weight.

33) I will reach at least 300 species on my birding life list. Status: Kept! I’m at 306 currently, thanks to making to Texas and seeing a bunch of new birdies. 34) I will win NaNoWriMo this year. (But pretend that I didn’t, to not disrupt my blue-purple-blue-purple NaNo site pattern. XDD) Status: Broken. I didn’t even get to like 5,000 words. T_T 35) I will obtain the Astrope mount in FFXIV. Status: HA. I think I’m at like 200/1000 for mentor roulettes. Broken. 36) I will see at least one new bird species in the wild that is not native to the United States. Status: Hmmm, not sure what I was thinking about for this one, but I did not succeed.

37) I will put a storm door on the side door of my house because water is leaking in (due to lack of said screen door) and causing damage! Status: Gonna count this as somewhat kept because I did try to get a storm door installed, but they wanted to charge me $300 just to install the door and I didn’t have the money at the time. But I did fix the gap beneath the door so that it no longer leaks. 

38) I will visit Nicaragua. Status: Broken. T_T I had the chance but things were so bad at work I didn’t want to blow my vacation in case I needed it… And I did end up needing it, so things worked out.

39) I will water my plants more consistently and take better care of them—to the point where the one orchid that hasn’t bloomed in years will bloom again! Status: Uh… somewhat kept? Namely, I moved and left my plants in Utah, but they’re being taken care of by others so they’re alive at least still.

40) I will write at least four new chapters of my Voltron fic. Status: Kept!

41) I will get duct work done to bring heat to the downstairs bathroom and side bedroom. Status: Broken… But we did get a bigger heater for the downstairs so at least it was warmer down there this year.

42) I will update my calendar with important dates—holidays, birthdays, etc.—and be productive about sending cards and well-wishes. Status: Uh… broken. I forgot I made this promise too.

43) I will complete my series of posts about Yato/Hiyori. Really. Status: T_______T One day. One day. Broken. 44) I will pamper myself more—spa day at least once a month! Status: Somewhat kept? Maybe like barely kept. I was good at this for the first couple months, but then it tapered off. 45) I will visit my out-of-town friends more often and make better efforts to stay in more frequent contact. Status: I think I’ll mark this as kept. I visited more people this year, anyway, including @rachelwritesstories! 46) I will make sure the lawn stays decently mowed this year instead of being embarrassingly tall and weedy. Status: Hrm… Somewhat broken/somewhat kept? I did move, but apparently the lawn has been at least somewhat consistently mowed since I’ve been gone. 47) I will do some work on my laundry room to make it look less like a dungeon. Status: Broken. The dungeon persists. 48) I will revise TVR, especially the early chapters, and move it to AO3. Status: Broken. I got like maybe 1/3 of the way through revising the first chapter. Um… maybe in time for KH3 or something? :C

49) I will get an electric tree trimmer to make trimming my trees out front much easier. Status: Kept.

50) I will keep these promises. Status: Mostly broken. T_T

Totals Kept promises: 12 Broken promises: 31 Somewhat kept/broken promises: 7

Jesus, I thought I was glad to see the back-side of 2016… 2016 had nothing on the roller coaster of a year that 2017 was. What a literal dumpster fire. While politics and the environment went haywire around me, my job situation grew untenable again (ooh, but hilarious karma—just last month they fired the shitty boss and REHIRED my old awesome boss… Except of course by then I had already, you know, quit and moved across the country to pursue a whole new career field… Well, c’est la vie!) and I ended up packing up everything and completely changing my life once again…

In just the last two years I’ve swapped career fields twice and randomly packed up and moved to Texas of all places. I experienced the drama of prepping for a hurricane and also got to see it snow in Mexico. Life’s weird.

Looking back on these promises, I honestly don’t feel too bad that so many of them were broken this year. I really had no idea what was going to happen in 2017 when I made last year’s promises, and so a lot of the goals ended up not matching up with my reality in the end. At the end of the day though, I feel like I’m in a much better place today than I was at the end of 2016.

I don’t think 2018 is going to be easy, but I do think it is going to be better, and that’s a good feeling to have. Let’s do this! The new set of promises will be up by tomorrow.

[isadorator]

A Fic Year in Review - 2017

dear god this was the busiest year i’ve had yet. let’s see how i did fic-wise!! :D and, as always, concrit and comments are welcome ♥

January

to win the hand of pasithea

this fic was hecka fun to read, not so much to write. the first, extremely silly draft was written while on a red eye cross-continental flight, and i had to post in time for the exchange it was for. luckily hallie was really patient as i cobbled together this marichat/ladynoir fusion nonsense during the next couple of months :’)

February

volpina ladrien drabble prompts (8/9):

no clothes

manga

i managed to squeeze in a few drabbles between an increasingly stressful school workload and my own brain turning against me (more than usual)

March

nothing posted this month, thanks again to the double whammy of school and depression :/

April

volpina ladrien drabble prompts (9/9):

the love at first sight/fish tank scene from romeo+juliet

I WAS. SO HAPPY TO FINISH THIS DRABBLE SET. i actually watched the entire movie for this drabble and ended up loving both, it’s a great scene and i think i did a good job with it :D

May

mlnsfweek prompts (3/3):

walking in on

"nice rose, but get off my bed"

dry humping

foreplay

i think i started my summer internship around this time, which meant less time to write. i got a few sin prompts done tho, as you can see, and ‘walking in on’ is probably my favourite thanks to chloe getting rejected XD

June

ladrien june 2017 drabble prompts (1/2):

comme il faut

cat person

god’s gift to women

“sorry, i wasn’t paying attention because your face is so distracting”

trying to finish the other’s sentences and failing

swallow

work still took up pretty much all my time, but i couldn’t let ladrien june pass without even an attempt at it. the sentences one is my fave thanks to nathalie being nathalie, but all of them were fun :D

July

tell the survivors (the help is on the way remix)

auuuugh okay. so. i was going through a lot of shit this month, including work but mostly involving my family, and i usually let out steam by writing. this is the fic i wrote to help me process everything. it turned out pretty good AND helped a lot, ngl

August

ladrien june 2016 drabble prompts (3/6):

late for class

alya's notp

identity slip up

soft ladrien in blanket

ladrien june 2016 drabble prompts (4/6):

desperate kiss

love spell | potion

still deep in work, so i decided to take another crack at the ladrien june 2016 prompts and finished a nice chunk. elaienar pleasantly surprised me with a ladrien art, so i decided to get back at her by writing a drabble to go with it, thus it is my favourite to write for this month :’)

September

everything's better with beanie babies

i went straight from work to school, which again meant little time to write. but crispy’s bday was this month!!! so i decided to finish writing this silly fic we talked about when i visited her as a present and ahhhh just thinking about all this is making me happy ♥♥♥♥

October

ladrien june 2016 drabble prompts (5/6):

sacrifice

rumours

ultimatum

my school went on strike about halfway through the month, which left me some extra time for writing. i went more cute than the suggested seriousness of the prompts and ‘sacrifice’ is probably my fave thanks to lovey dovey lb =3=

November

ladrien june 2016 drabble prompts (6/6):

weakness

caught in the act

falling

the best friend knows

fairytale

fashion show

‘weakness’ was first drafted more than a year ago and the strike meant i finally had the time to sit down and really rework it into something i’m very proud of. it’s probably my best fic to date and the one that challenged me the most this year. i never would have been able to get it to the quality it is without the help of my friends :D ♥

then i finished off the ladrien june 2016 prompt set, which i was also very proud of, ‘caught in the act’ got a little out of hand, but all of these fills i really love and enjoy |D

December

pire noel ladrien drabble prompts (1/6):

the fluffiest gd spin you can put on adrien finding out that ladybug is marinette

during an attack, ladybug tries to get adrien to hide in a certain store/place and adrien has to explain why he’s banned from entering that place for the next 3 years

what the thief left behind

sleet

adrien asks nathalie for girl advice

age difference au

space au

newly established relationship ladrien where ladybug finds adrien’s collector edition ladybug body pillow

adrien is a weeb. lb walks in on him sobbing over an anime/manga and adrien is only half coherent enough to explain why (or stop her from accusing another person of being an akuma after him)

balcony scene

termination shock

pire noel ladrien drabble prompts (2/6):

ladybug craves kisses, adrien is busy with something

adrien moaning

texts (+all the emojis) adrien would send as himself if only he had lb’s number

“ladybug, we need to talk about this problem of yours.” (aka, ladybug accidentally pisses off another holiday guardian because of adrien)

the strike ended near end of the november, but i was so stressed from the condensed workload and my own brain that i kinda retreated into writing fic as a type of relief. i started in on the pire noel prompts which i collected last December, with a brief foray into voltron so i could deal with my many, many feelings regarding aliens, and i really love i was able to stick to 300 words when i got most of them done (only 10 left!!)

Total Year’s Output: 33,115 words!

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted?

i wrote less than predicted, since i thought it would be around the 50k+ of last year. but this was also the busiest year of my life thus far, so i’m proud of how much writing i got done :D

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January 2017?

definitely voltron fic, since i love the show but i don’t really feel the need to write for it. the canon just happened to be the one in line with my pressing need to express my love for aliens

(i literally cried in my astrobiology class over aliens adskjafhlksd)

What’s your favourite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest.

definitely ‘everything’s better with beanie babies’ because it features the agrestes being ridiculous and reminds me of crispy :’D

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the New Year?

literally every year i say this, EVERY YEAR, but i want to:

a) finish my wips while making a significant dent in my ‘to write’ list, and;

b) WRITE A MULTI-CHAPTER FIC. 2018 IS MY YEAR I’M GONNA DO IT I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD ALKDSJFHLAKSJD