#i love him but fuck him. geniunely. not literally though.

[throwawayhymn]

realised my dads just stereotypical with a side of nerd. not good, not bad, just stereotypical, focused on his shiniest newest toy. im resentful, only towards him, he couldnt even keep focused on me during my 18th, he was more entertained with texting. i dont blame his granddaughter, or even my sister, simply him. hell, ill feel bad for them if my dad ever ignores his granddaughter for a different shiny new toy, like he has with me

[makeithappenandreal]

Unpopular PJO opinions (not so unpopular tho):

Will does not have any animosity towards Percy because of Micheal or Nico. Like they were at War and he was one of the people who really understands Percy given how he was there from the moment Percy was at the camp and the mindset of War. That's just fans reaching.

Nico was pretty much well liked by the camp more than Percy was when he first came to the camp at tlt lol. It was his own dark thoughts that made it seem like he would be outcast. Percy literally had people not touch him and bully him till after what happened with Luke.

Percy would not really be that much good friends with Leo if you think of his personality in PJO and HOO. Leo has a very classic dark humour, kinda gets a bit biting and even rude sometimes while Percy has dark sarcasm and no patience to people and would very well have the potential to flush Leo's head down a toilet if his patience ran.

Will is actually canonically a lot like personality like Percy. The way they love people is very similar. The way they act is also similar. Nico does have one type. Will and Nico are much better than Percy of course though.

Of course Annabeth acted crazy to Rachel while being jealous of Percy but honestly considering their past, she was so Real for that and I support her.

Annabeth was more of a sibling to Thalia.

Thalia loved Luke and joined the hunters partly because of the anger she had for Luke. She is giving beautiful bi vibes tho, so she at some point probably geniunely went fuck Luke, this is better.

Hera actually likes Percy a lot. Like he is so loyal and a good hero. Because of the conditions she acts Percy is worst though. LoL. Also because of Annabeth.

[symphonyofsilence]

Jin Ling & his Xiao Shushu appreciation, 'cause I don't see enough of it.

Remember that Jin Ling avoided LWJ like plague 'cause he was scared of him shitless, to the point that when WWX fake called Hanguang-Jun he ran without even looking back literally seconds after WWX pulled the same trick on him with JC 'cause he didn't want to risk looking back just in case it was actually HGJ, but he stood against Hanguang-Jun AND sect leader Lan when he thought they were invading his Xiao Shushu's room? Only Jiggy's own intervention made him back down.

& IDK maybe the reason Jin Ling was there at that time was that it was the family section. But since Fairy wasn't with him, maybe he was visiting his uncle. & I find it hard to imagine, like, say, WWX visiting Jiang Fengmian or Lan Sizhui visiting Zewu-Jun or the Lan brothers visiting Lan Qiren in the middle of the night in their private chambers unless something very important has happened. I think according to the standards of their time, they must have been very close for this visit to happen.

Running to Xiao Shushu 'cause JiuJiu is angry with him & adorably hiding behind him 'cause Xiao Shushu spoils him.

Defending Xiao Shushu and having a firm belief that whatever he says is for Jin Ling's own good even in the face of his cool uncle after the rush of winning a fight against a group of his all-time bullies.

Still using the affectionate term "Xiao Shushu"even when confronting him about why would he kill his father, begging him to "say something". Give him anything to make it a little bit less painful.

Jiggy wanting to comfort Jin Ling even when he's crying because he just realized that Jiggy has killed his father.

Jin Ling looking so hurt when Jiggy says that JGS didn't let him hold Jin Ling as though he can't imagine a world in which his uncle is not allowed to hold him. Not being allowed to hold JL being a notable part of JGY's villain origin story.

Jiggy pushing Jin Ling out of danger.

Jin Ling screaming for Jiggy to run even after Jiggy took him hostage. And all the other shit.

(It's worth mentioning that in the books, Jiggy doesn't push JL out of danger and JL still screams for him to run, and he still calls him uncle instead of Sect Leader as he does in the show. It's also worth mentioning that the show made some stunning choices in the Guaniyn temple scene regardimg JGY & JL. As half of the things I'm saying about that scene here only happened in the show.)

Jiggy looking so worried as Wen Ning goes towards JL even though he himself has lost an arm and is bleeding to death. And only looking relieved when Wen Ning holds the blade.

Jin Ling being scarred for life here. Oh my poor, poor baby.

With much difficulty, he coughed up some blood. Everyone present heard a crack that was abnormally clear and brutal.

A whimper of a last breath left Jin GuangYao's throat.

Jin Ling's shoulders shivered. He shut his eyes and covered his ears, too afraid to keep watching and listening.

And my favorite scene that emotionally crushed me: Jin Ling remembering when his uncle gave him little Fairy & mourning his uncle & becoming the hero of the nation who finally told Sect Leader Yao to kindly go fuck himself. 'Cause he told him that his uncle was not worth his tears. Jin Ling thinking that they wouldn't dare to tell him such bullshits if his uncle were still alive. Baby Jin Ling feeling so comfortable around the sect leader and the Chief Cultivator that he could break things beside his feet and scream at him, and his uncle just understanding that he needs to leave him alone at that moment, his Xiao Shushu being the only one who could comfort him and make him happy at that point, his Xiao Shushu giving him his spiritual dog & one of his rare actual, geniune smiles that was so warm & kind that Jin Ling remembers to that day, this happy memory being the one that Jin Ling remembers Jiggy with after all the things he learnt in the span of two days. Him acknowledging that Jiggy's love for him was geniune and real & still choosing to continiue to love his uncle despite everything. Him learning that he can't really resent JGY, WWX or WN 'cause though they gave him reasons for that, they also gave him reasons against that. They gave him reasons to love them. And why choose hate when you can...not choose that. Him breaking a cycle of hate that few of the adults of the story did not drown in. And it must mostly be Jiang Yanli's legacy, but it also proves that Jiang Cheng & Jin Guangyao, despite their own numerous issues did something right raising such a child. He feels so secure in their love. And he's right in that feeling.

[furiyama]

I have something to say to certain people in this fandom and I've had these thoughts and feelings for a while. I won't name names for the sake of what I'm about to say. It's important that I say it, and explain it, and tell you firstly

I am absolutely disgusted, on a soul level, on a heart level, by your beloved Snarry ship and I must call you out on what you are doing to Severus (and also to Harry, though Severus has been with me since I was read the first book at 4 years old. From that age on, I knew and felt he was more, he was onto something, so he is the main focus of this)

I don't know you are, and I can't quantify and analyze each one of your lives to understand why you like Severus, but I know within my soul, you do not understand the gravity of what he gave up for Lily, the amount of self will it took, the knowledge that even if he would never make things right with Lily, he must do the right thing (which we can debate on if he actually made this emotional decision but I have a following more important point)

I have dealt with the strength of love towards a friend after the world that birthed you shatters you soul with abuse, you have no one truly supporting you in this world, you don't know what geniune love looks or feels like, but yet, you meet somebody who makes your soul glimmer, like you are actually alive and not dead inside. I have been down many schools of thought about these types of love, having them for a handful of different people I met throughout my journey. On one hand there is geniune pyschological phenomanoms when it comes to loving and connections after abuse, that some of us develop unhealthy attachment styles, some of us encounter limerance (unwanted, obsessive love for somebody else you cannot get out of), all of these schools of thoughts are valid and in appropriate medical settings and pyschology study, are useful for helping us understands how humans work and potentially helping us guide us to a patch of healing.

But what I'm going to say is different , because I experienced different, thought different.

I had to validate that love I held for those people because it made me want to continue to exist - and so what if is excerbated or partially caused by my trauma and/or mental illness. It was the most real feeling I had ever felt, those feelings eventually lead me to this moment now, where I can finally stand up and tell you how disrespectful you are to Severus and his journey by shipping him with Harry. I trusted those feelings and they lead me to the healing I needed for many years.

Severus's journey mirrored my own, I was the child with a terrible temper, getting kicked out of schools early on in childhood, group homes. But why did me and him continue to exist in a world that made it clear it didn't want us?

I found that answer out as I grew into a teenager and experienced love for my friends and my limerance objects (the object of ones affection while under limerance effects), that I wanted to keep existing so I could do good for them.

I had no idea how to do that, at this point I shipped literal Armstrongcest from full metal alchimist, my entirely way of being, and thinking, was fucked up. I hurt people left and right even though the feelings I had - and for certain people I didn't realize until I used and hurt them so much, that they weren't my emotional priority, I liked the companionship, somebody who talked about things you knew and were interested in.

Severus made friends with terrible people because they were the only ones that really gave that to him. And nobody stepped in to teach him straight or differently, he only knew the world as it was for him. I'm not condoning being a wizard racist or anything, I simply understand when you are in that much pain, as my friend says often to me 'if you aren't given appropriate love you will learn to lick it off a knife'

Something in him for Lily always stirred, and unhealthy as it was for him to have that, I truly believe it was the only geniune relationship he ever had growing up. And knowing personally still grief after 8 years of the person my heart chose simply ghosting and refusing all contact, sometimes that pain, that longing, it never goes away. You remember it because it spoke to your soul at that time in your life in a way you have never encountered since.

I am absolutely... just, offended, that as somebody who has gone through this emotional journeys, who understands now the appropriate space that must be given to this person, it is beyond words of absolute recoiling of the soul to think that after all that happens, your person never returns to you

That you go and fuck their child

all the self work you've done on yourself to achieve a sense of self you now can find yourself be proud you climbed that mluntain for them

That you go and think their kid is an appropriate partner

Part of this is understanding you need to leave their circle alone (even if it was never involved their circle before), it is a level of respect you come to and understand for this person. that from afar, mayhaps now and again you can send a blessing or help in some way, but to want to change your behavior from what you did that hurt them to run (which is the level of emotional decision i want to write for severus but that's another topic)

you understand your behaviors and your way of connecting with people isn't good, and the first thing you can do to make it right within your soul is going and trying to exude the exact opposite energy

which means respectfully at the end leaving her kid the fuck alone

i could go on rants for many of the other severus ships but i don't care to. none of them are more annoying to a mosquito to me. but this one, stirs a specifc part of my soul that i need you to hear when i say

When you fucking ship him with harry, you are completely opposite of that energy, you don't want what's best for him, otherwise you'd know the grief and such goes through stages and you's eventually want him to learn how to respect his own emotions and experiences

to see you snarry shippers say dumb shit like i love his smile, i love a happy snape, i love him, i am disgusted beyond words

you don't actually fucking care at all if you want him to go down that dark ass road

i geniunely had to ask myself at a point of thinking about this, what if it was me, and i was the person who was diddling that persons child?

i said to my friend, if that ever happens, please just shoot me. end it. clearly something has gone wrong, very wrong, and it can't be fixed when you get to that level, it's all already fucked. my friend, understanding he said to me 'i definitely wouldnt want to but i hear you... it'd be painful but i know where you are coming from when you talk about severus and m(person). if it gets that bad, i know you don't want it to go on'

of course this is a hypothetical question so of course it won't happen but that parallel is the Foundation of the understanding. without my feelings for all those people that eventually coalesced into my now many year long grief over just 1 and has held steady, I wouldn't have this personal context to give you but it's important I give it to you

so you can understand now how the very ship is an anti-thesis to severus's soul and how dare you say you care about him while doing that shit

how fuckin ass dare you disrespect him and his journey like that

how dare you try to stand with him while pushing him back into a similiar kind of darkness he was born in!

fuck you and fuck your snarry.

respect severus, don't you ass fucking dare act like you understand what it's living it because you clearly fucking don't if you can't give him the basic respect of not pushing him backwards

i hope y'all learn how to swim because i'm the goddamn severus snape goddess and your ship is creepier than flying dutchman, like he's not gonna even be willing to raise your sunken ship, that's how bad it is

[kob131]

This an half attempt to answer your quiestion, but you are by no means pressured to read it as it is just too long.

Now that i actually sit and think about it a bit more, I think i shouldnt have called them trait, rather the Impact that having a fucked up parent such as morgan had on them. Im sorry that i cant exactly point it out but i will try my best.

Even gawain who is a geniunely good person, can be too persistent as it seems and im pretty sure morgan was a pro in that regard. Gawain is a good person but he can be a bit fucked up too.

agravain is the one who hates morgan's guts the most while still not being able to completley able to escape the Impact she had on him. Being raised by morgan literally messed the dude up. Seeing morgan's probable short temper in agravain wasnt that hard for me. When he hates someone, the hatred is quite deep whether you even did something wrong or not. The "i hate women" line, while being extremly memeable, does imply that morgan definitely isnt the best female parental figure someone could have.

For mordred..... Oh boy, being isolated and having morgan as the only consistent influencial figure outside of your idol who didnt even know you exist , she was really unlucky. Mordred has a short temper which seems to be the easiest to point out.

We dont Know anything about gaheris *dramatic sobbing* outside of the fact that he is probebly the tallest among the five of them.

Either gareth was too young to remember her, or her brothers and lancelot's influence washed out any possible fucked upness. I would say the Impact the orkneys had on eachother did matter even if it isnt really brought up.

No no, I love reading.

I can see how Gawain's stubborness could have come from Morgan, given that both of their actions in the end did more harm than good.

Yeah, Agravain does seem to share Morgan's vindictiveness and fury. Kind of ironic considering he hates women in part because of Morgan's actions while he perpetuates those actions.

And...it might actually be worse for Mordred. A key part of Mordred's conflict is her inability to define herself (her Bond 10 Craft Essence is literally named 'Who Am I?') and a key aspect to Morgan is that her life is split in three to her three different roles. Three different parts of herself she likely could never reconcile between them.

I've said it once and I'll say it again- Mordred is probably the one person who could fully understand her mother.

Though, it's not like Gareth's personality is entirely separate from Morgan. Agravain may have ended up with issues but Gawain ended up as a pretty upstanding if stubborn guy. And remember Gawain's the ELDEST of the Orkney so logically he was exposed to Morgan the most. For him to have grown up that well adjusted, Morgan had to have been a good mother at some point. And it's said she also acted as a good sister/motherly figure to Arturia before finding out the full truth. Gareth's personality could very well be a reflection of who Morgan was before things fell apart.

But yeah, the Orkney siblings most certainly do affect each other quite a bit. Gawain is said to be the closest with Gareth, Agravain doesn't hate Gareth like he usually would (instead having a 'complicated' relationship) and Agravain does care about both Gawain and Mordred since he called out to Gawain after he was shot with Rhongyominad and questioned the Lion King's coldness towards Mordred in the Sixth Singularity. Remember, Lancelot having a lesser part in the Fall of Camelot caused his to utterly loathe the man- by all rights he shouldn't care about Mordred. Yet he clearly does.

P.S. Yeah...I wish we knew something about Gaheris too. Best we know is that he teased Gawain about not knowing how much Gareth looked up him in Garden Of Avalon.

[camo1000le]

Give us your Oweddy thoughts!!! I love your art of them so much I want to hear your thoughts <3

Awww tysm 🥺💞 I love drawing them, to the point I'm geniunely worried

I have a lot of specific hcs about them (mostly because I'm slowly stealing them to turn them into OCs for... something) so here's a little rundown in their story! (Let's hope it's actually little!!)

AKA long post weird AU you released a beast (me infodumping)

When they're tiny:

They met when they're 12 at their new school: Owynn moved because of bullying (the kids used to make fun of him bc he was tall/redhead/has heterocromia and even cut his hair, that's why he has it very short now) and Freddy moved to a whole new country (from Spain to wherever fhs happens). Freddy is Mexican while Owynn's dad is swedish (he was not born there)

They find eachother to be very weird but share many tastes and life events, like the bullying and missing a parent (Owynn is more direct and likes to insult his mom while Freddy doesn't talk abt it- Ow didn't even knew he had an adoptive dad).

They form a music duo for the spring event, since they were such good friends maybe they could work together well! Also Freddy acts kinda weird and sometimes forgets they have rehearsals after-hours but it doesn't matter bc he says sorry and he's cute!!

There's a whole drama with Owynn's parents in the middle of that but i wont bore you with that (unless you want me to)

Anyways the event happens Owynn can't come in time so Freddy goes alone and he wins but ow feels betrayed and blah blah blah they're enemies now and he hates Freddy (a 12 years old kid with a lot of mental troubles for that age)

Bc yes Fred is there but Owynn ofc didn't know, even if he actually talked very often with him too. In fact is kinda his fault Fred makes fun of Freddy so much (He's mad he lost his only best friend 🥺)

(Guess who remembers the rehearsals and the songs and owen cursing his mom)

Middle part where we watch Owynn go insane:

Literally. They kinda hate everyone but their dad now.

Moved school again, classmate with Abby and company actually! (Tho y'know abby she's... insane) so they don't talk. Also the Nightmares used to live closer to that school so they bullied him there until Owynn broke all of Onnie's teeth.

They meet Ttrap too: he's older in my AU (while ow is 15 he would be 17), he tries to get Owynn to therapy bc it's really fucking weird/sad he only talks abt Freddy or abt how much they dislike themself so. Yeah. He succeds and Owynn gets... to move schools again, yay!!

Ow starts developing schizoprenia, doesn't get the diagnosis until very later. (Prodomal stage/negative symptoms rn)

Also kinda starts discovering himself (being gay/nonbinary, doesn't really ditch the he/him pronouns until much later). Also dyes their hair purple

I don't have recent drawings of cringy sad 15y/o owen

What would equal the 1st season of the series:

Freddy moves to the HS and says his funny discourse (qué? Que quién soy yo? 🤓) Who would've though a certain kid that hates him was there to see it and died right there.

After realizing they share classroom Owynn pressures Ttrap into changing them to another one, hides his freckles/dyes his hair a darker color/uses normal glasses to not be recognized. Explaining his absence from the 1st season /j

So we have time to look at Freddy. He's struggling, Fred is being annoying; they explode at the camp where Freddy bumps into Owen who tells him to fuck off and never talk to them bc they hate him and Freddy says: "who are you?" to them. :D

Fred facepalms and takes control of the body.

Owynn develops his plan to destroy Freddy's band or whatever. Also dyes his hair again.

2nd season!!

And Owynn is in full delusional mode. The whole 'boss' thing is Eak and Ttrap going along with them so they can decompress lol

He does his little introduction and dumb plans to sabotage that obviously don't work at the end but they're actually very good bc he... actually does know what he's doing (making usagi & loon have trouble/separate golden from the group/the whole Toys thing)

But eventually it doesn't matter/the spring event thing happens ; Owynn gets hit by a car and breaks their arm

The secret 3rd season // last school year

Owynn goes back to lay low, gets his schizophrenia diagnosis so therapy+meds!! Good for them!

Freddy gets the therapy+meds combo too! Fred is chilling now :]

So Freddy now attempts to talk to Owynn but they run away from him to not cause him trouble anymore. And that goes for a while until they talk it out: They'll get time to talk alone, but Freddy also wants them to meet the rest of his band so they can get friends, Owynn accepts; but isn't a fan lf the idea.

Eventually they fall in love again (fall? Ow never stopped liking him honestly) and they date. But it takes a very long time to get there but they're so very lovely <3

ALSO yes Fred and Owynn also fix their relationship, they're besties again <3

[safetycar-restart]

“There you are, little one,” you say, smiling when Charles immediately perks up when he hears your voice and dives into your arms. He nuzzles into your neck, hiding there and trying to get some comfort.

“Was so scared…” he mumbles.

AWWWWWWW NOOOOOOOOOO

this is so cute 😭 i love little puppy charles 😭

yes he would absolutely recognize your voice (or you) anywhere, anytime. even if he were wearing noise cancellation headphones he'd still somehow be able to hear your voice.

at the moment he's lost, his whole world is like this black hole. he sees nothing, feels nothing, hears nothing. until he hears your soft voice. then, his whole world is filled with colors, rainbows and unicorns, more vibrant than it has ever been. his eyes light up, literally. his mommy found him! she's there!!!

and oh, poor thing. he would be so scared. i think he might geniunely start shaking in your arms once he found you. he's so relieved you found him in the bread isle. so relieved. it's like he can't imagine a world without you in it anymore. his voice would be so shaky, whine in it noticeable. but you're here to make it right! and you will. he trusts his dom, his mommy.

(charles' dom is mommy in every universe and you cannot fight me on that. no.)

and yes, yes, yes he loves christmas 😭 thanks for reminding me to write christmas charles around the time i start to get ready for it (I LOVE IT TOOOOO) which is like right when the clock hits midnight on december 1st 😭😭😭

- 📓

Aw I love this so much!! It’s so fucking cute. And yes you’re very right you’re always Charles’s mommy. He loves being looked after and loved softly too much for you not to be mommy.

Firstly, of course he recognises your voice!! He would recognise you anywhere.

(Sidenote: I have an idea where for a video Ferrari blindfold Charles and Carlos and then make them try to guess the identity of team members based on touching them. Charles only touches your hand for about two seconds before he’s saying “mommy!!” and flinging himself into your arms with full confidence because he ALWAYS knows when it’s his mommy. Always.)

The poor thing would have been so lost when he couldn’t find you. He would have been fine if he wasn’t feeling subby, but because he thought he would get to just be at your side and have no thoughts, he wasn’t at all ready to be on his own and make his own decisions.

To make it worse, I think Charles gets really easily overstimulated when he’s feeling submissive? It’s fine when he’s clinging to you.

But when he’s on his own and he can hear all the sounds of people talking and walking around and he’s crowded and he just…. He can do it on his own he needs his mommy.

He would absolutely be shaking in your arms when you find him, cause it was just so scary to be on his own like that!! He was way to small and subby for that.

He whines when you try to move away, because he’s not at all ready to race the world anymore.

“I’ve got you,” you whisper in his ear, “you can hold my hand the entire time and I promise I won’t let go. Okay?”

He lets you move away then, because he trusts you. You said you won’t let go of his hand so he knows you won’t. His mommy always gives him what he needs.

He’s a little more sensitive than usual throughout the entire trip through the grocery store though? He tears up when you ask him what type of pasta he wants to buy because that’s too big of a decision for him.

So you just hold his hand and choose everything yourself, not even asking him anything because you know he can’t make decisions right now.

He only gets happier and comfortable when you guys get back to his apartment, when he sees you lock the door and knows it’s just him and his mommy. Then he’s happy.

[uh-e-rinnie]

rpg au notes cuz i need somewhere to drop them ahahaha

Virge's species is unknown, even to him. He has no idea wtf he is, he just knows he kinda existed one day.

That being said, he doesn't have a biological family as far as he knows, though he did grow up with a family.

He grew up in a hot place, which explains the skin showing. He sunbathes a lot, a practice he got from the family he grew with.

Logan is literally just a really fucking smart dude who got hit by a star one day and got magic.

He geniunely doesn't believe that to be the case, thinking it was just a coincidence he was hit by magic and it activated his ownt hat may have been hidden.

he still cant stop that story from going around though lmao.

he really loves his students but isnt fond of fellow professors.

Both his parents have passed already, but he visits his hometown and their graves every so often. Pat and Ro have seen the graves already, Virgil comes with them the next time.

Logan and Virge have an incidental mentor-student relationship.

Virgil loses feathers a lot, but never seems to run out of them. Logan collects them to figure out what Virge is, Patton collects them cause they are pretty. Roman collects them cause everyone else is too.

Virgil's hissing habit is developed from the family he grew up with.

They all first meet Virgil after Patton accidentally shoots his wing thinking he was a big bird beast.

Patton has apologized 50 times. Virgil tells him its nothing new.

Patton and Roman are both heirs in their own ways, Patton as next in line for Head Chief of Creare (unspecified animal)folk and Roman as king.

Though Patton is the original heir, Roman wasn't. It was originally Remus before he booked it lmao.

There is an unfinished mural next to the wall of Roman's room.

Patton literally lives in the water, he knows all the water ways and paths around creare. He's snuck into the castle through the water systems once.

Patton made Logan discover certain berries and partially regrets it.

Virgil has become a clock.

Roman, who spent a lot of his life sword fighting regularly, still cant stop hitting shit with his sword accidentally.

Patton has physically had to pick up Logan and jump out the window in an attempt to get him out of his damn office. He was smiling the whole time.

Logan has asked Patton to spit in a tube for some magical bullshit. No questions were asked.

As tradition, any unrecorded species entering creare must be brought to the castle for observance and analysis. Roman, both annoyed and amused, had spent 2 hours trying to get Virgil into a cage.

"Is the cage necessary" "Dad's orders please just lets get it over with" "Your dad's a bitch"

Giving Virgil the *slap of reality* treatment where everyone sees him like how they see fanon v just less annoying lmao. docile quite tiny dude who kinda seems shy.

and then they see him try to wrestle a boar and spitting out some of the sharpest curses one day and yup, there he is. go gremlin go.

Ill write about Janus and Remus eventually but i guess dark side angst

[saksukei]

oikawa tooru as a boyfriend

others; ushijima | tsukkishima | tanaka | kuroo

some of you all don't understand how great of a boyfriend he'll be,,,,, aND IT PAINS ME

HES A LITERAL KID IN THE RELATIONSHIP

like oh my god

he'll ruffle your hair,,,, give you piggy back rides,,, tickle wars,,,, teasing you about how you're such a simp for him,,,, he's just the type of boyfriend that WILL leave your heart pounding

to be honest,,,, he didn't expect to like anyone,,, given that half of his time is consumed by volleyball

but his pretty boy bravado goes out of the window when he meets you oh gosh

he denied his feelings for the longest because you know,, his past experiences with relationships,,,,, but then he saw your smile and he knew he was fucked™

will go around showing pictures of you and be like

“HAVE YOU SEEN THE LOVE OF MY LIFE–?”

and everyone will be like “for the fiftieth time– yes.”

he uses pet names like ‘baby’ ‘honey’ ‘sugar’ ‘bubs’

you know how most of the hq boys will lend you their jacket?? yeah,,,, if you ask oikawa HE WILL EVEN TAKE OFF HIS JERSEY AND GIVE IT TO YOU

if you ever come to his matches,,,, He smirks so damn match and the opposing team gulps because oikawa smirking is not a good sign

and if you cheer for him,,,, he'll be like “YES THATS MY BABY ARE Y'ALL JEALOUS HAHA??? SUCKS TO BE YOU THEN” and the entire team is trying to stop him before he gets kicked out

oikawa loves being in physical contact with his significant other at all times,,, so holding hands, forehead kisses, back hugs are all too common

BUT HE WILL KISS YOU IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE TEAM ON PURPOSE,,, ESPECIALLY KNOWING THAT IT WILL MAKE YOU SHY

his favorite place to kiss you though is on your wrists,,, they're so delicate compared to his,,, and his hands wrap around them so easily he can't help but kiss them

dates consist of going to volleyball matches of other teams to analyze them while wearing disguises,,,, going to the park for the swings,,, going to local cafes and maybe even having study dates but,, oikawa isn't letting you study

he even loves going to watch sunsets with you

spoils the absolute shit out of you,,, flowers, matching couple outfits,,,, you name it, he'll do it

HES SO CHEESY OH MY GOSH HE FLIRTS WAY TOO MUCH AND HE DOESNT EVEN TRY TO HIDE THAT HE'S LIKE IN LOVE WITH YOU

and yes, he will absolutely trap you between a wall and steal kisses I DONT MAKE THE RULES

one day,, oikawa will come up to you randomly and be like “can you wear your most expensive dress?”

and once you do,,, he'll be in a suit,,,

and then he'll play some song from the 1960’s and you two will dance around in the living room

and then he'll also take you out to dinner

also– PLEASE PLAY WITH HIS HAIR ITS SO FLOOFY

oikawa loves one thing,,, and it's a very intimate thing but he loves taking showers with you,,, after his tiring day, he just wants to be in your arms and he wants you to wash his hair will he washes yours,,,, he also loves it when you give him massages

and perverts, get your minds out of the gutter

I know a lot of people think oikawa won't be loyal in a relationship,,, sorry to break ya bubble lovelies but I think he'll be one of the most geniune and loyal boyfriends,,,

yes he will have a bit of trouble trusting, especially in the start of the relationship where he wouldn't share anything at all,,, but please don't ever doubt his love for you,,,

oikawa would never cheat on you, heck he'd be showing his fan girls pictures of you,,,, he'd decline their confessions like they were nothing,, because he only has his eyes one person and that's you

on bad days, he'll bury his head in your chest,, wanting nothing more than to stay in your warmth

fights happen because you want him to take care of himself and stop with the reckless attitude

he might be a tad bit mean at first,,, but once he cools down, he'll immediately apologize and maybe even start crying,,, telling you how much he loves you and that you're right– he needs to be more careful,,,

and the next day, oikawa will start texting you what he's eating, how much he slept etc omg

if you're upset,,,, he'll do anything in his power to make you happy,,, be it kisses, shopping,,, it doesn't matter

your happiness matters so much to him,,, he'd walk on a bed of nails if it'd make you smile

you'll be there with him, laughing your asses off,,, and the only thing oikawa will be thinking is “i wouldn't rather be anywhere else than here”

he feels so warm in his chest,,, more warm than he's ever felt before,, and he thinks that you'll be the death of him,,,

all in all,, he's a sweetheart,,, yes it might be tough in the start but once he's comfortable,,, you'll be second guessing whether oikawa is actually an angel or a human being

[maximusboltaqon]

ok so i know death of the inhumans is sort of. cruel. to basically EVERYONE there. but does anyone else think it specifically treated maximus like, really shitty??

hes the only member of the royal family shown dead, as triton is the only other one that dies, and triton's scenes happen off-screen. he also gets really limited screen time seeing how he "dies" in the FIRST ISSUE, and most of his scenes get immediately overshadowed and/or glossed over

(why is nobody that upset over him and triton? does karnak ever say ANYTHING about triton's death? does gorgon react at all to any deaths? why was there a joke played in the middle of their moment of silence for 15,000 deaths??)

additionally, in this first issue, where he gets,, maybe five pages before being "killed", he gets his arm shot off practically immediately.

so mark him down as also the only one who loses a limb. which leads me to my next point.

most of his scenes are grossly morbid in comparison to most of the others? gorgon does practically nothing the entire comic and only really fights anyone in the very final scenes, so obviously nothing happens to him. medusa gets stabbed but like,,, immediantly heals? karnak also gets stabbed, but he's also almost immediately better? lockjaw gets captured at the same time as maximus, but i guess they just sort of kept him locked up, because he has no wounds. crystal seems to similarly be more or less fine.

really, most of the bad shit just happens to blackagar, the guy the kree want to kill specifically, and maximus, who i guess is just kind of there for the writer to throw some more gore scenes in whenever he feels like it.

when crystal isn't controlled by vox anymore, even though she's clearly freaked out, she gets immediate comfort from lockjaw and medusa

and very quickly afterwards, she sees karnak, gorgon, and blackagar, and can easily assess that at least most of her family is safe. lockjaw has this same immediate comfort, as he awakens at the same time and same place. triton didn't have to deal with any of that at all since he was, ya know, exploded,, twice,,?

maximus gets out of vox's control, and is severely injured. he's bleeding, he's just been in a geniune fight, and he got a hammer to the face. looking at his bottom teeth and jaw, something is clearly fucked up there, to the point where im not even sure if thats bone or not. in some panels it seems significantly whiter than the top half of his face.

the first thing he would have heard is gorgon threatening to kill him! with that mask covering his face, he literally doesn't even know where he is, or who's around him. im not even sure if he realized his family were around him, or that he was coherent enough to even hear gorgon. his dialouge does not suggest he does.

when crystal approaches him, and he hears her voice, he immediately freaks the fuck out, panicking worse than i can recall maximus ever being written before

he seems geniuenly terrified for her, yelling at her to leave and run away. unlike most of the other characters, who go out quickly, most protecting someone or something, maximus doesn't get that at all.

karnak beats him to death, after maximus is surely convinced he caused crystal to either die or get teleported to a torture chamber. he doesn't get another chance to see his brother, or lockjaw, or any of the rest of his family. he dies painfully, and terrified, with no idea of what he's done or what's happened to any of the people he loves.

under the idea that somehow he survived or was cloned or whatever, he definitely would have died as a vox cyborg in that final scene, just as if not more painfully, forced to once again fight against his brother, who would have killed him there.

maximus gets severely mutilated, tortured, and then beaten to death by one of his family members. in the short few times while he's not under some sort of mind control, he's watching as lockjaw is harmed, and is unable to properly protect crystal, something he's clearly horrorfied over, to the point of trying to convince himself that what he was seeing wasn't real. if he was coherent at all after that blast, the last thing he would have seen is karnak suddenly killing him for,,, no reason, in maximus' eyes. while every other character it seems gets some sort of comfort or closure, maximus doesnt get any of that at all. he doesnt get a single scene with blackagar in the entire comic. he gets one panel with lockjaw.

it seems weirdly targeted, if you ask me. maximus wasn't even written as an antagonist in this series - he's exclusively fighting with his family, and blackagar requesting to speak with him doesn't suggest any animosity. why do all of this to the one character who's spent his entire life feeling neglected, putting him a setting where he subtextually seems happy, and then,,, torture the absolute fuck out of him, specifically?

he's barely even mourned.

[spacehorrors]

ok. mamma mia here we go again tma review once again for episodes 140-160

top episodes

E158 Panopticon - so I put this on because it evoked the most of a reaction out of me I geniunely GASPED at the reveal and it was action packed. I also listened to how hard it was to make and uh felt I should put it in top place. a satisfying episode indeed.

E154 Blood Mary - LOVED THIS EPISODE yes I know I didn't shut up about the end bit but this episode was one of my favourites like the self deception and the fact he tried to get out for his son but it killed him. not only a scary one but one that made me upset for the characters.

E150 Cul-de-sac - god. yeah. this episode was so good the horror in the mundane is so good and compelling especially coupled with the use of the place. it was a great one!

E152 A Gravedigger's Entry - WOOHOO!! this one was just chilling like some bits were geniune spine tingling I loved it the character. I also really like Cost of Living for a similar reason but I preferred the buried alive, epistolary nature of this one.

E157 Rotten Core - I love rot and disease <3 yeah it's as simple as I love rot and disease if I wrote a story revolving around any of them it'd be the corruption I just love it!!

but I have loved every single episode like so many. I've been having the best time

where on earth do I start like. man. this season has been so narratively satisfying but also like I'm tearing out my hair yknow.

general plot thoughts

I'm still a little shocked from the Elias reveal but in a good way because I did not see it cominggggg. I totally understand where it was planted and built up though but I just hated Elias so much that I didn't think about body swapping and why he changed so quickly etc. makes so much sense and I can't wait for him to die painfully.

ok ngl I also did hope that Martin would be doing what he was doing so but I didn't realise he has been playing him for that long.... I did you he was playing him but not that much I was very impressed.

so. the end of the world. now I was sort of right but I thought it was just going to be an eye ritual which would cause chaos in terms of Jon's mentality so. I was a bit off but also not. now I'm also going to lose my mind at post apocalyptic stuff because it's my JAM I'm so excited

what else. idk I'm just having a blast. some of the lines have been ending my life. fucking episode e154 and the melanie 155 one. weeps

it's all come together so nicely ......

character/relationship thoughts

MELANIE AND GEORGIE I literally have never lost in my life. I am in love with Melanie and Georgie's statement.... feeling very vindicated rn.

I also loved Melanie's characterisation in this bit of the season and in general I just love her so much... the "in five minutes would you call me an ambulance" just makes me want to cry god.

Daisy and Basira. So Basira...... mannn she's doing all she can like I want more info on what happened whilst Jon was in a coma because she was also. on her own a lot and Daisy was dead. AND DAISY. naur I'm so emotional about Daisy especially when it comes to her being friends with Jon and Melanie like! they are friends. amazing. Also god her relationship with the Hunt and her choices...... god. her and Basira..... I weep. they are so compelling to me. I need more I need Daisy to be ok and I need Basira to find comfort in that.

what is there to say about Elias apart from from day one I've said I didn't like that bitch and I was right he's an old victorian shithead who wanted the world to end and succeeded so. yeah. like I said that twist was so cool though but it makes so much sense. he's unfortunately very clever.

GERTRUDE. um I've never had fully formed thoughts on her before apart from intrigue but I love her she's so compelling and ruthless and I am so interested on her love you.

so. Martin and Jon. Jon and Martin. they have been causing me a lot of turmoil. if you were awake when I was listening to e154 I apologise it caused me great mental pain. umm devotion? sacrifice? the inability to have good timing leading to a surplus of tragedy? compelling. um. "I really loved you yknow" just makes me cry then followed with like... look at me etc etc is just so gah to me.

INDIVIDUALLY um Martin during the lonely was just very oh yeah I understand this. and when I didn't know for sure he was faking I was thinking well yeah grief and rejection do that to you don't they. anyway. what satisfying growth. what lovely understanding Martin has gained without losing his core. WEEPED when they were in the cottage and the cows and I was like well I'll just pass away then.

JON. so. this guy. I think he's my favourite character to be honest man I like him a lot. when the line between what your choices are is so blurry and like this fear of being controlled. walks into the ocean. him being a conduit for the fears.... makes sense?? but I thought it would be messed up by him having biases towards like the Web for example. um what else. him walking into the lonely for Martin. him walking into the buried for Daisy and it being used against him. god

also I loved Peter's statement um yeah. it was close in my top because it was so compelling but I didn't in the end.

my predictions

So they've got to kill Elias now right? so I suppose they're going to try and find a way to weaken the fears grip on the world or tip the balance.

They've also go to somehow get back to London maybe wait I'm concocting something. they've got to blow up the institute don't they? to remove the panopticon from the world. KABOOM etc etc.

assuming the fears have had an awful impact on the world but I feel like they've driven the "it's extraordinary what you can get used to" early in the series so maybe we'll see some of that.....

um does Jon still have to eat statements considering the world is now a smorgasbord of fear? interested in how that'll affect his diet

ok but powers are still vying for power though too.... hmm also can he close the door??? PANDORA'S BOX BABY PANDORA'S BOX

OK I SAID THIS LAST TIME BUT SURELY GEORGIE IS THE ONE WHO CAN SORT THIS OUT SINCE SHE DOESN'T FEEL FEAR???

I think that's it lmao ok anyway as always feel free to send me asks on this I love talking about it with people because I can't read other people's thoughts yet for fear of spoilers so!! send the asks in!

[mcmoth]

Tommy and Fundy.

/rp

Ahhh!!! Ahhh my beloveds,,,,, my scrimblo and skrunkly,,, ohgghghh my boyyss......

Seriously I cannot emphasize enough how much I would LOVE to have them interact more in lore. They're Wilbur's boys!!! Something between nephew and uncle/brothers, with so much that ties them together, and yet, they stay so separated....

There is just so much that I could get into in regards to what conflicts they could have, so I'm just gonna put them in bullet points:

Fundy holding resentment for Tommy for how he sort of 'took' his place as Wilbur's son, as his top priority. I'm still utterly haunted by how c!Wilbur first elected Tommy as president at nov 16, then Tubbo, but never Fundy. Never even thought of him. God damn it, he's not even in the fucking anthem. While Tommy is thought of as the muse of L'manberg, the one who fought for it the hardest, Fundy was just remembered as a traitor in the end.... it fucks me up so much. I would love to have Fundy be angry at Tommy for this, more subconciously I think since he's not really one to blame people like that, and that would sort of lead them to talk, and...

I would love for Fundy, through Tommy, to learn more about Wilbur. To learn what was truly happening in Pogtopia, why he left them all the way he did, how he hung out with Tommy after his revival, still.... and how he's now kinda left Tommy, too. I think Fundy would sort of imagine that Tommy had it great - that Wilbur loved Tommy more than he ever did him and trusted in him and oh, how great would it be, to be at his side, to be so valued.... only to hear Tommy talk about it all, and realize "Oh... oh, he's kind of fucked up from it all." And sort of reconsider his whole view of Wilbur, why his dad left him, and whether he would have liked to be in Tommy's shoes after all.....

(Before I scare anyone, btw, I am not a Wilbur anti, I love him very very much, this is just from their perspective)

Both of their desire for guidance. For their whole lives, they've looked for people to follow, for people to protect them. Their stories mirror each other in that way, i think... for Tommy, it was Wilbur, then Dream, then Techno, then Wilbur again, and now Phil.... and for Fundy, it was Wilbur, then Schlatt, then Quackity, and he also confided in Phil at some point like Tommy. Both of them share this energy of having daddy issues, of being so desperate for paternal figures in their lives... both of them ache so desperately for family. And so wouldn't it make sense, for them to find it through each other? They are literal family, wouldn't it be so healing for them to remember that and reconcile?

On the other hand, though, while they are prone to following others, both of them also share the want for carving a life for themselves that is their own. And while Fundy aches to have people recognise him for his achievements, to recognise him in general, Tommy mostly deals with the opposite problem of too many eyes on him, too much attention that he'd like to get away from. They share so many similarities, really - characters that used to be fairly prideful, that loved to get up to mischief, that mask their pain with humor, that are so desperate to not be alone. I think they could find a lot of solidarity in each other, and see how each of their lives suck in different ways, and, through that, sort of come to understand what they need to find that balance in life, that happiness.

Speaking of solidarity - their relationship with Schlatt/Dream. It's canon that Schlatt was an abusive asshole, and that Fundy geniunely grew to believe in him and seek his approval and even come to see him as a father figure while he felt so distant from Wilbur. All to be awaited with only scathing words and smashed bottles, when Schlatt's life came to an end. I wonder if Fundy still misses him. If he regrets ever becoming a spy. If he ever had doubts and believed in Schatt's insults, if he hates him now. There's a lot of differences between c!disk duo and Fundy and Sclatt's relationships, but there are common themes, too, and I think it would be interesting to have that be recognised. Once again, they serve as foils - Fundy's mistreatment being born in neglect, and Tommy's obsession.

Fundy is alone. He feels so painfully alone, he is such a goddamn lonely character.... which is why I think becoming friends with Tommy would be so good for him. Tommy is a people magnet, he attracts attention like moths to a flame, he's painfully social and he could help build ties for Fundy between so many other characters. That's not to say that Fundy doesn't have important and deep relationships on his own, that he couldn't find them by himself - he does, and he has. But I think, with how Tommy's also grown to be more and more of an open and genuine person with time, he could help Fundy crack his shell and step out of it a bit. I think he could help him feel actually seen.

Now, there's probably more that I could talk about, but the question remains... when, and how, would they actually come to talk? Well...

It's hard to say. In canon, they haven't shown much interest in actively interacting with each other. But if c!Tommy does move on with a plotline where he builds up a new community, sort of a new L'manburg, that could be one way for them to cross paths. Or with how Dream is out, and Las Nevadas is so panicked about it, that would naturally lend to Fundy coming to Tommy's aid. But I don't think any meaningful connection would come with that, unless the elephant in the room is brought in.... which is, obviously, Wilbur.

It pains me so much that Wilbur and Fundy haven't reconciled yet. Haven't even talked. His dad has just.... forgotten him. Still thinks of him as a traitor. I think...

I think the thing that would make Wilbur want to reach out again would be learning about exile. If he learns that he's failed one kid, in such a major way, without knowing.... maybe, hopefully, he would come to realize he had another one waiting for him, too. And with how c!crime boys healing would mean c!Wilbur healing in general, moving past his warped view of himself, maybe it would begin to strip layers of his paranoia as well, and he would begin to doubt his view of Fundy, too. Leading him to finally, finally, go talk to him. And through knowing Wilbur again, Fundy would come to grow closer to Tommy, too.

Or, maybe, a perhaps more juicy option - is that Fundy sees Wilbur supporting Tommy, just like he always has, from his perspective - always Tommy, and never him - and it leaves him to finally break. For him to confront Tommy, since Wilbur still refuses to engage with him, for him to air his grievances and try to seek an answer for why. Why he was abandoned, why he was never answered. And thus, it prompts Tommy to emphathise with Fundy, for them to talk to each other, and together... they come to face Wilbur, and heal. As a family, at last.

So..... ya!!! This is so freaking long; as you can see, I have many thoughts about them shhshdhsh,, they are my two special boys. This dynamic would probably never come to full fruition, but... one can dream. Sigh..... </333

[justdenethorthings]

“Denethor is of another sort, proud and subtle, a man of far greater lineage and power, though he is not called a king. But he will speak most to you, and question you much, since you can tell him of his son Boromir. He loved him greatly: too much perhaps; and the more so because they were unlike.”

Even Gandalf, who can’t manage to put two words together about Gondor without one of them being a knock on any political figure in Minas Tirith who doesn’t wear a crown, recognizes that Denethor and Boromir have little in common, and that he is far more like his son Faramir, in both counsel and kind.

PJ’s Two Towers and Return of the King (and the shitty Osgiliath cut scene they schellacked into existence which is a noncanonical garbage fire equivalent to Denethor taking a huge dump on Faramir in front of the army he’s an integral part of) turn Denethor into a B-grade movie villian, completely impotent. The writers argue that if Gondor has survived the years since Aragorn abandoned his supposed kingly destiny, it’s because of Boromir’s prowess, and if Gondor has kept itself from falling into ruin, it’s because of Faramir’s compassion.

Except obviously not! ‘Cause guess what? Look what happened to Rohan! Look at the splintering of its ppl and the obstruction of its ruler by Saruman, under Sauron’s direct influence. He deflects Gandalf’s meddling - which, given their circumstances, is entirely fair. Gondor is struggling yet defensible. The world has come to its darkest point since the ring’s inception, one of his sons was murdered while fulfilling what he knew to be a prophetic dream they both hoped might bring an end to Gondor’s nightmare, and so yeah, the guy is depressed and ready to tap out *IF* the tide starts to turn against them. And so when he believes his son to be dead and the palantir portends only doom and the enemy is literally at their goddamn doorstep with no help in sight, yeah, he’s ready.

Literally the worst factually accurate things you can say about Denethor are he has given so much of his life to safeguarding what he has been charged to defend to the point he has no faith left in men (which like... uh, yeah, bitch, same) and that he has no time for wizards. Even when he argues with Faramir, it’s because a) he geniunely disagrees with proposed strategy and b) Faramir considers Gandalf a worthy influence and Denethor, with his past encounters with Mithrandir and Thoronguil, does not.

Yet somehow no movie fans seem to get pissy when Aragorn does the exact same thing to Boromir at the Council of Elrond (”actually, things are really hard for me sometimes because ol’ fatty Butterbur nicknamed me Strider, and I don’t feel like being king yet) despite the fact that Aragorn doesn’t know his asshole from the Anduin at this point because he CHOSE to just give his responsibility the middle finger for a decades long Arnorian rumspringa. THE MAN IS 88 AND STILL WON’T COMMIT - LOSE HIM!

I don’t see any hate for the dude who is supposed to be doing what Denethor is trying to do for the entirety of his character’s arc. The defense of Gondor in its kingless seiged state is Sysyphean! It’s tragic! If Denethor had had the will to act as Lord of the City and command his troops in the end, it would be classically heroic! His character is one of struggle, one of despair; at times of great wisdom and harsh and bitter. He *never* says he wishes that Faramir were dead, only that Boromir would have obeyed him and brought him the ring because Boromir was loyal over his own interests which both Faramir AND Denethor are not. I don’t agree that Denethor would have been capable of withstanding the thrawl long enough to hide the ring, but he lived with Sauron in his head for a few decades, so it remains ambiguous! His character is nuanced and rich with potential, but in the end, a dignified and bitter desperation in the face of the fucking apocalypse.

But “eghhhhh, Deneforrrr baaaaaaad” is faster, I guess

[zaritarazi]

Mixen boxer au synopsis 👀👀👀👀

MICK RORY is the owner of a boxing gym he is a widower he is a champion that lost his title in a big blowout match and he has been concussed WAY too many times this will be important later

Amaya is someone who has the chance to win real titles and she's supposed to train at mick's gym with let's say- who's good at punching? Listen the person that was supposed to train her fell in love and decided to move to boise with his new man and now mick has this potential champion and all the money and prestige that comes with it and he's like fuck it i'll train her my damn self

Anyway Amaya is so good. Better than good. Probably the best he's seen. And that makes Mick so worried because he starts really caring about her well being, he doesn't want her ending up with memory problems like he has or the chronic pain and he just sees so much potential in her that he knows she'd be the best in the world but he also feels like she should really be applying her talents elsewhere???

Also Amaya even though she's extremely tough in the ring is geniunely so kind and good and is like hey mick as an adult man, why not eat real dinner? And shes like listen if im in the neighborhood which i was i thought id get some groceries which i did and let myself into your apartment with the key under the mat (not safe!! Mick not safe) and make myself dinner and if you happen to be here you can have some and mick is like this is... my home??? But im not going to argue with you so

Amaya is not so secretly fascinated with mick's career and she starts insisting he show her old tapes of his fights so she can better study them and he's like isnt this shit all on youtube and she's like yes BUT it's better to learn this way and also. You are the only person i know with a vcr player

Sometimes if amaya stays late studying his videos he lets her sleep in his room and amaya not so subtly hints that he can stay WITH her and mick is like im staying on the couch because you know what? I am going to hell. But this just feels like double hell

Nate who is a member of the gym with his boyfriend ray and jax who is a member of the gym and is geniunely just here for the fitness and nate is in the locker room like DID YOU KNOW AMAYA STAYS OVER AT MICKS SOMETIMES BECAUSE SHE IS IN L O V E with him and mick who is in the showers trying to wash away his emotions like well. Time to die i guess. And jax who is just by the lockers like hey. I didnt say you could just start speaking to me

But yes amaya is in big big love with mick and mick is like obviously im in love with amaya but shes got her whole life ahead of her so i would just be a burden on her and honestly i could die at any minute and jax is like you are literally, fifty. You have at least 20 years left and mick is like that is WAY too long

Listen amaya wants to win The Big Fight and prove to mick that she's strong enough and mick keeps trying to find the words to tell her that he doesn't doubt anything about her but it's his Own Sordid and Dangerous Path that makes him want to protect her, not her lack of talent or skill

Nate: so just like. Tell her that

Ray: exactly! Use those same words

Mick: what words

Nate: the words you just used to describe how much you care

Mick: i've never said words in my life

Listen if amaya wants an old man boyfriend that is HER right and i will not stand in her way

[onereallygoodlambonastick]

1, 2, 7, 8, 9 and 10 please

finally some good fucking food, thanks anon;

1. What themes would you like to write about that you feel don’t get explored very often?

Generally speaking, I think the in-betweens, the casual time-skips, and the quick intermissions are the things that get glossed over the most. The “missing scenes”, if you will--the hours after a squabble between a team, the morning before the battle, the months where a child sat idle, the dreams that turned into prophecy. 

I also think the theme of re-connection is not often explored--its always “love on first sight” kind of deal, but what about the enduring kind of love, the kind that stays like an ache in your bones? the one you remember and miss? the one you long for like a phantom limb?

2. What are some common elements of stories you are tired of seeing? What would you avoid writing about? 

This varies wildly between fandoms, but probably the thing they all have in common is: mindless smut. Just straight up down and dirty fucking, with no motive or prompting or characterization. Just the author smashing two guys (usually) at the hips and being done with it. 

That’s fine; we all love to see it. It’s just so dull sometimes. 

I need some intricacy, some intimacy, some ache, some angst, some destructive lines and some ruthless gut-punches, you know? Not a guy coming for the fifth time. 

For the AFTG fandom: I’m tired of seeing people being fine with the way Sakavic treated her characters and coddling Neil & Andrew in the face of it. I don’t hate Andreil, I feel like I should say, but so much of it relies on one or the other sticking people with their knives or fists and that’s such a toxic love, a misconception of what a “good” relationship should be. Now, there are some brilliant fics I’ve read that are just gorgeous with the concept of Andreil--that was what I wished Sakavic had the ability to achieve in her series, while giving dignity to Kevin Day and the rest of the characters that were there and LIVED despite the romance. 

So, obviously, I would avoid doing any of the above I just mentioned, and pray that you will too. Just let these ppl breathe, alright?

For the AoT fandom (yeah i dabbled cuz the manga is just. depressing man): same issue---too much fucking, not enough talking and emoting. Why are there so many goddamned high school AUs? My god. I need a fic that gets down and dirty with the shit going down in the manga and take me through it so I can stand to continue. What about the grief and mourning and the betrayal of it all? Can I get me some of that? Lord, don’t go near the Levi/Eren tag. Y’all just don’t even knock it. Go to Levi/Erwin or something. Or just don’t. Don’t.

For the BNHA fandom (lol. a staple): actually, there’s quite a bit of diversity here so I geniunely can’t complain about much. The sheer magnitude of the English-speaking fandom helps on that end, I suppose. I do think there should be more fics looking at the Shit n Grit of Hero’s society tho, Stain-style. The people the heroes couldn’t save or didn’t want to, the forgotten bodies and the cooling hands, the victims that never got closure, the heroes who got maimed and multilated and couldn’t get back on their feet once the limelight left em. Those sorts of things. I think the fact we see thru the rosy-eyed worldviews of a bunch of green-eared kids deludes people to the fact that People Are Fucking Bad and Disgusting almost all the time. So exploring that, I think, is far more worthwhile. 

But I will also take injury aftermath. I’m not a monster.

For the KNY fandom: EYYY we talk about grief and suffering a lot which if you haven’t noticed, is kind of my Jam! Actually, this fandom prob hits a lot of my sweet spots: role reversals, grief/mourning aftermath, SabiGiyuu, Sabito Lives, the usual! Can’t really say much abt this. Except, there’s a lot of Demon Sex and Rape and, uh. Guys? Can we go back for a hot sec?

For the Code Geass fandom (*rubs hands in glee*): SO this is the fandom I’m most active in aside from AFTG at this precise moment. It’s pretty dead, tbh. My favorite two fics in the AO3 archive was published in 2014 and the author hasn’t written for my fav pairing (Suzaku/Lelouch) since. So. There’s that. There’s also a lot of fucking here! And gross cishet dynamics, but, uh, whatever. I think the Emperor Lelouch/Knight of Zero Suzaku has been overused and abused for rough sex and just general Angst-ing it out. I wanna see how their dynamic plays out like that for sure, but what about when they still had secrets between them a mile wide and had to tell each other half-lies and half-truths? How about them coping with the fact of their betrayals and the death of their loved ones at the hands of each other? Where’s the hardcore shit? 

Think this fandom doesn’t want to dig their fingers in too deep. Shame. 

Another thing: CC is not an immortal seductress. My god give her pizza and some fucking DEPTH. She’s a walking encyclopedia, not some mysterious slut machine! Get your stereotypes and fetishes outta here!

Final thing: TALK ABOUT THE SHIT SUZAKU HAS BEEN THROUGH! He’s not just Lelouch’s boytoy or knight! Stop that! Examine his abuse, his time with the military, his span as a pawn! Look at his motivations and his internalized disgust for himself as a Japanese that was ingrained in him by an oppressive fucking system! Why does he bow? Why is he silent? Speak for him!

7. Favorite description in your wip? (If asked more than once, respond with a new piece each time)

Suzaku watched him watch the discoloring, and Suzaku watched the stillness change into the bare bones of animosity. It was almost kind, the way Lelouch turned his face away and shifted his grip to snatch up the antiseptic.

Neither of them spoke as sharp hands dabbed at the slightly split skin and wet bruising. It stung, but only a little. Long minutes passed like this, Lelouch exchanging swabs for cloths, Suzaku sitting still and watching him work.

Neither of them mentioned the scatter of old deadened skin, puckered across Suzaku’s build like a migration of mutilated fish.

8. Favorite dialogue in your wip? (If asked more than once, respond with a new piece each time)

"You know I can't be seen with you two."

"And I just warned you to not be a coward." Lelouch's eyes gleamed. Again, the challenge was there, and like a fool only Lellouch could make of him, Suzaku took it, open-mouthed and open-palmed.

"Fine," Suzaku said, not knowing what he'd promised himself to: a dinner or a duel. Even though the last time Lelouch picked up a sword it was wooden and he was tiny and cute and clumsy. But Lelouch didn’t need blades to cut. "I'll be there. Does Nunnally still enjoy a good scone?"

"Bring the blueberry ones," Lelouch said, extending the comment like a plank between them, and leapt off the wall, into the white sun. "One for the bastardly son and one for the disowned daughter."

Suzaku followed him out into the blaze of heat, feeling the crude perch of his laughter at the base of his throat. He was so fucking dramatic. "Which one of us do you mean?"

9. What scene was the hardest to write for you and why?

From the same wip fic from above--I’m stuck on the “light” kind-of crackish scene where Suzaku is literally just exasperated with Rivalz and his porn mags. Like I just can’t write it. It’s too.....friendly. And “nice”.

10. What scene was the most fun to write for you and why?

Out of the same fic as above: probably the scene from #8. It was fun to see how coy and rough-mouthed Suzaku could get once he’s together with Lelouch. Just to see them fool around with each other whilst keeping secrets but also somehow be honest was very satisfying and interesting to write out. They are just boys, there. Just boys. In love.

[linkspooky]

Pls... your top ten nisioisin characters... i love your lists...

I LOVE TO TALK ABOUT  HOW MUCH I LOVE MY FAVES. IF YOU EVER ASK WANT TO ASK ME WHO MY FAVES ARE FOR A SERIES FEEL FREE TO SEND ME AN ASK.

My favorite thing about Niosisin’s characters is how genuinely subversive they are. Not in the sense that he’s deconstructing tropes, but rather these are characters who would never get their story told in most other books, because they are not good, or righteous. Nisioisin breathes life into them, and allows those who cannot be forgiven, those who are deviant, those who have dropped out of society to still remain human. He tells their stories the same as everybody else, because their lives are just as fun. 

1. Even if I’m hated, Even if I’m Despised - Kumagawa Misogi 

He’s only my favorite character of all time so I’ve talked about him on this blog before, but let me find something new to say. Oh Kumagawa, how do I love thee, let me count the ways. Or maybe it’s Oh Kumagawa, how do I despise thee let me count the ways. 

Kumagawa’s character is so interesting because it’s written in antithesis of everything a shonen protagonist is. For Kumagawa, his determination just makes him fail worse and worse. His desire to be involved and help people always guarantees the worst result for the people he wants to call his friends. His empathy is extremely painful for him, and is a trait that drives him insane rather than making him a kind and loving person. 

A lot of time in manga empathy is like, a magic fix-it-all bandaid that basically makes the main character a saint by being able to emotionally relate to anybody. Kumagawa is the reality of that situation. He is empathic, and by relating so much to the humans around him he shows how ugly, and messy human emotions can really be. Recovery and saving others isn’t necessarily a beautiful thing, it’s complicated and sloppy. 

Kumagawa is a character where getting stronger won’t solve any of his problems. Which is what happens in a lot of shonen manga, rather than trying to emotionally mature the main character will just learn a new fighting technique and develop that way. Instead, Kumagawa winning fights means absolutely nothing. The only thing that can free him is to grow up as a person, and the fact that Kumagawa’s arc is given equal weight to both of the main characters shows how accepting of weirdoes and broken off beat characters Nisioisin is as an author. 

What I like about him is how genuinely broken he is, but not for monstrous reasons but for entirely human ones. It’s his genuine care for others that breaks him the most. He’s a character written to be insane, but also geniunely human. Kumagawa is not able to live properly, or even act like the main character like Zenkichi and Medaka are but he’s still able to find his own way to live. 

2. I don’t feel any reality from you people - Ajimu Najimi 

“Genius who is super good at everything, but is secretly sad and lonely on the inside” is a pretty common Nisioisin trope. It tends to be pretty hit and miss with me, but it also resulted in one of my favorite characters of all time. I tend to like these types of characters more when they’re allowed to be… what’s the word… unlikable. When the story isn’t trying to go on about how cool they are.

The reason why I love Ajimu is because she is just like Kumagawa, a subversion of the character you expect her to be. The same way Kumagawa suverts Zenkichi in a way, Ajimu subverts Medaka. The same way that Medaka is all loving, Ajimu is indifferent to absolutely everything. The reason she’s able to be kind to everyone around her is because she genuinely doesn’t care about you. Her real personality when not being apathetic, is to just be downright nasty and look down on absolutely everything. 

She’s completely self absorbed because according to Ajimu she’s the only one who exists in the universe. She’s the only one she knows for sure is real. The opposite of Kumagawa, a character entirely lacking in empathy, not even thinking of herself as human in any sense of the word. Ajimu acts like she knows everything in the story like she’s reading off of the script, but that’s because she literally thinks that everything in this world is fiction and she’s literally breaking the fourth wall.

And my favorite part about Ajimu is that the story doesn’t glorify her meta fourth wall shenanigans. She’s not treated as someone who sees through everything in the end. She’s just pathetic, and suicidal, and dragging everybody else along into her trillion year long self pity party. She’s more of a human failure than someone who can’t possibly empathize with humans, and that’s why I love her. 

3. There ain’t no meaning, got it? - Ii (Boku) 

Ii-chan is the narrator of Nisioisin’s first ever series, Zaregoto (Lit. Nonsense). It’s not really until the second book you get a grasp of his character, but Strangulation Romanticist does such an excellent job of setting up who he is as a person. This is another one of Nisioisin’s character types (narrator who feels ennui, and really, really doesn’t want to be a person). 

What’s great about Iichan is that he is special in a way. Just like he’s described in the books, when he’s thrown into situations everything goes a little bit crazy. He always gets dragged into mysteries, and has people die around him even though he tries to stay as uninvolved with people as possible. He’s actually a great look at what a character constantly caught up in murder mysteries like the main character of a detective novel would actually act like. He has this deep rambling narration that sways between nihilism and existentialism that makes him a really unique character to read about.

But at the same time Iichan is also kind of a normal dude. And I don’t mean in the sense that he’s an everyman, or has no personality, but he kind of just feels like one. The great twist of No Longer Human is that Yozo isn’t some inhuman monster, he’s just kind of a normal guy who drowns out his misery by taking advantage of women. Like, it’s not all that uncommon. The same thing with Iichan, as poetic as he gets he’s kind of a very petty person and most of his flaws are very mundane ones. 

It’s basically very hard to care about other people in this world. Ii-chan doesn’t want to at all, he just wants to have all of his emotional needs fulfilled by the friend he both infantilizes and puts on a pedestal. He’s just super clingy about the one relationship he has in life, because he’s afraid of losing it, but he’s also afraid of being close to her. Ii-chan is just kind of a normal person reacting badly to trauma, but he presents himself as such a mystery that most people lose sight of that (in story). He’s kind of just petty and annoying, and that’s why I love him. 

4. No Longer Human - Hitoshiki Zerozaki

Zerozaki is Iichan’s greatest character foil. Basically the best way to describe it is Zerozaki is Mersault. The flip that is switched on for everyone that prevents them from killing someone when the idea crosses their mind is turned off for Zerozaki, and so he kills. He doesn’t enjoy it, he doesn’t have a particular reason to it, he just can’t overcome his impulse to kill. If Ii-chan is restrained, then Zerozaki never restrains any of his impulses at all and lives following only those. 

Once again this is another common Nisioisin character archetype “A murder, but they’re sad and lonely.” What I like about Hitoshiki is how much of a deviant he is to that archetype. 

He wants a friend and somebody who understands him, but at the same time he hates himself so he doesn’t want anybody too close. He lives in a family of murderers and he’s somehow the rebellious child of the family. He’s constantly running away and wandering from place to place. What makes Zerozaki interesting is how self aware he is about all of this too. He rambles his thoughts and will just be like “Yeah, so anyway that’s totally fucked up (LOL).” 

 5. Is your life dramatic - Kaiki Deishuu

Kaiki is a character who I admire for his philosophy above all else. He’s another one of those “deviant” characters like Kumagawa who would just be a villain to be defeated in any other narrative, but in this one he gets fully fleshed out as a character. 

What’s interesting about Kaiki is that he chooses exactly the way he lives. He decides to be a villain. Kaiki at some point sees through most of the lies of the people around them, and for how meaningless the things that you are told have value can be. He hates holding onto ideas like those.

But that doesn’t mean that Kaiki rejects everything. He doesn’t claim to see above society, or that he’s not a part of society. Rather, Kaiki just uses that awareness to realize he can give meaning to whatever he personally finds meaningful. Because it’s all meaningless anyway, as a human being he can create his own meaning. 

So his want of money is not just simple greed, it’s what he’s decided to live for. Kaiki is an adult who willingly chose to become a conman because he finds that’s his place in society. He just doesn’t trust himself enough to be kind despite feeling the same desire to save others, so he decided to lie to them and trick them instead. 

6. “I don’t know anything, you’re the one who knows” Oshino Ougi

Ougi is just interesting conceptually. They are literally Araragi’s own shadow, running away from him and given form and consciousness of their own. While Ougi themselves works as a common Jungian shadow archetype calling characters out for what they are repressing and also revealing the bare faced truth to them, which is why they are so heavily associated with mirrors, lights, and shadows. 

My favorite part about Ougi however is not their connection to Araragi. It’s when Ougi starts to become their own character. An oddity with consciousness that begins to deviate from what they were made for, because they were allowed to live on their own.

Ougi did not become a fave of mine until Zoku because that was when they started to self reflect and realize their own strange existence separate to Araragi. The conversation scene with Araragi is one of my favorite in the whole series because it shows how Ougi is just a genuine tease, and a very clever and insightful person. That’s who they are, outside of just being an oddity that exists to criticize others and call out flaws. They’re ridiculous, and a little strange, and they enjoy screwing with other’s heads and messing around a bit too much. But Ougi Oshino is Ougi Oshino. 

It’s just an interesting concept, to have to define who you are as a person when you were created out of all of the unwanted qualities, and insecurities of another person. 

7. Why are you touching me without permission, you weed - Yasuri Nanami

Nanami is another one of those “I’m a genius and I’m good at everything but I’m secretly sad” characters, and once again what I love about her is how unlikable she’s allowed to be. None of what Nanami is capable of comes off as cool for very long. She’s basically framed and treated as a horror movie monster, always speaking in the same monotone voice. The one story that shows her true nature in chapter four is literally, paced, framed, exactly like a slasher movie with characters being hunted down and killed one by one. 

Nanami’s just this horrible wretched existence that doesn’t even want to be alive. She basically acts like frankenstein’s monster, ie, the one in the book. She’s just this corpse that is barely even alive in the first place, constantly sick and in pain, and she’s also at war with herself. The part of her that wants to die and the part of her that’s lonely and wants to find some reason to live, or some connection in life are constantly at war with each other. 

And as horrifying as Nanami is she also feels like the most human of Niosisin’s, super-genius characters. She’s riddled with weaknesses and flaws. She lashes out when he’s in pain, she felt bad when her parents told her to die. You get the sense that Nanami’s super genius isn’t what drove her insane at all, it was just how everybody around her treated her as some thing that was not human. Isolation made her this way. She was conditioned to act this way not born inhuman. There are characters that Nisioisin writes that are genuine sociopaths (as in the trope of an unfeeling person unable to feel human emotions), but Nanami is not one of them and so when she starts acting with sociopathic-traits in her personality it makes her all the more painfully human because we see how she’s been driven slowly to act this way. 

7. *Yawns* Nezumi

Juuni Taisen is one of those death game stories where every character is defined by their one gimmick and written around their concept. In the original novel each character really only gets one chapter to be fleshed out as a character. I half suspect Nisioisin wrote it as a dare to himself on how much he could accomplish with one chapter.

The interesting part about Nezumi is his concept again. He can redo anything 100 times. You think this would make him amazing at anything in life because of his time loop ability, but physically having to live through all of those time loops exhausts him to the point that he’s too tired to do anything. You would think he could get anything he wanted out of life, but there are times he can ask a girl out one hundred times and get rejected one hundred different ways. 

Nezumi is interesting because of how quietly he lives. There’s nothing he really wants out of life, and nothing he wishes for, like a rat he just scurries and survives. 

9. I am currently being accused by everyone - Kakushidate Yakusuke

The same as Iichan and Kumagawa, Yakusuke is a guy who is just cursed by constant bad luck. What I like about Yakusuke is that he’s a full fleshed out character, instead of just an unlucky every dude protagonist.

He’s a contract worker who is constantly shifting between jobs. Due to this fact he’s got like 1,000 skills that he gained on his various jobs. He’s not smart, but because he’s experienced so much of life he’s incredibly resourceful. Which is why he makes a perfect counterpart and foil to Okitegami.

Yakusuke’s everyday life is him constantly being accused and blamed, and falling from one bad situation to the next. But, he has so much experiences that it’s what draws Okitegami to him who can only ever experience one day at a time because her memories will reset at the end of the day. He’s exactly my type of man, a total failure at all walks of life.

10. This is your last chance, let me make you happy! - Kugi Kizutaka

He’s so low on the list because his story “Magical Girl Ritsuka” only has one chapter published in english, but he’s so interesting he instantly became a fave. He’s actually a concept i have been looking for for a long time, which is basically what I describe as “Reverse Junko Enoshima.” 

Basically someone as smart and manipulative as Junko Enoshima, who can make anybody into their toy, and predict things years in advance and control everything, but instead of using that power to send the world to despair, they use that power to give the world hope instead. Not out of any genuine good will or because they’re a good person, but because they’re obsessed with the idea of giving people happiness the same way Junko is with sending people to despair. 

Kugi is a lot like that. He’s a genius ten year old who sees everybody for their potential to be used, and looks down on absolutely everyone around him. He’s made contact with a magical girl, because he’s pretty clearly planning on using her to enslave the world to him, so he can force everybody to be happy. And it’s absolutely adorable. He’s just such a genuine terrible little person while at the same time wanting to make everyone happy.