#i love kash so much.

[otterlyart]

Kashaw & Zahra in the new trailer!!!

[deepspacedukat]

I decided to do a mash up with the Melody x Soven (who are typically on Atlantis) and Varen x Sandra (our favorite rogue criminal romulan and security officer/detective who live on a space station sorta like ds9)

So the Atlantis crew docked at the station for maintenance repairs and it’s right before Halloween. Soven was waiting for Melody to get out of a debriefing and had decided to save them a table in one of the station’s restaurants. (Soven like most people especially like all Vulcan’s is weary of the Romulan Varen on board). Varen saw Soven sitting alone and decided to entertain himself by messing with the vulcan.

“Jolan tru, Soven” Varren said as he slipped into the empty chair that was being saved for Melody

“Greetings…” Soven was suppressing a cocktail of emotions right now; the urge to jump startled at the appearance of a romulan, distrust and skepticism at the sight of the stranger sitting down, he was caught between wanting to flee and the growing anger at the audacity of this stranger taking a seat specially saved for Melody. Soven took care in grabbing the last available booth by the window knowing Melody would love to look out at the array of colors the nearby nebula provided.

“Varen.” The Romulun finished introducing himself.

“Indeed” Soven said simply glancing around to see if there was anyway to get the stranger to leave

“So getting down to business, I know you spend a lot of time around that human lady friend of yours and was wondering if you would be so kind as to indulge me in a conversation about a certain upcoming human holiday.” Varen intertwined his fingers together on the table in a ‘let’s get down to business’ fashion.

“I do not think I will.” Soven answered flatly almost in a manner of fact way.

“Ah-but is it not logical to share common knowledge with a curious stranger especially if it could help prevent a cross cultural misunderstanding during the holidays.” The Romulan was smirking now and Soven knowing he had been backed into a corner stayed silent.

“Now here is my question I believe the phrase is Trick or Yeet?” Varen stated putting an innocent smile on his face

“Yeet?” Soven was confused

“Sure” Varen snatched and threw Sovens menu.

“MMFT” Soven let out a disgruntled noise and made the mistake of letting his guard down to lean over in his chair and grab the menu. That’s when Varen struck grabbing Soven’s wallet and running.

The space station’s security officer had seen Varen saunter up to Soven’s table and decided to keep an eye on the Romulan. When Varen tried to exit the restaurant he was tackled by Sandra who took the wallet from his hands and held Varen by his ear dragged him over to the shell shocked Vulcan.

“Here is your wallet sir, it won’t happen again. RIGHT VAREN?” Sandra gave Soven his wallet and spoke to him kindly before turning back to Varen and lightly tugging on his ear forcing an apology out of him.

“I’m sorry…that Vulcans are so gullible-“

“VAREN” Sandra snapped like a disappointed mother

“Alright-ALRIGHT IM SORRY SHEESH”

“Aaaand that is five more months on your parole” Sandra shook her head before muttering something about paperwork and then took her leave dragging Varen to the security office with her.

Soven just gripped his wallet to him and had his eyes glued on the romulan criminal until he was out of sight.

“Hiya Soven whatcha lookin at?”

Soven nearly jumped out of his skin, he was so distracted he didn’t notice Melody had walked up-

(The end 😂 I hope you find this as funny as I did)

PFFF I love this! 😂😂😂 I’m cackling. Varen and Sandra are just *chef’s kiss* And Soven and Varen’s interactions are wonderful. I’m dying, this is amazing. You are brilliant, Azora!

Also “TRICK OR YEET” – I’m w h e e z i n g

[calliecopper]

Ok this isn't gonna be structured at all but I'm thinking about season 9 of Shameless and specifically about Fiona's departure from the show; A majority of the fandom takes this as a positive moment for her character and as a victory for her, finally putting herself first after years of self sacrifice. But I'm just thinking to myself: is this not exactly what Monica did?

Monica continuously left the kids on their own due to her own mental struggles, often justifying it like she does in season 1 by blaming Frank, or in season 2 by saying that the kids are better off without her. She is held accountable by the fandom for this, rightfully so, because she had a responsibility to those children, and regardless of personal circumstances, she should have been there for them. In season 2, she even acknowledges this, stating that she wants to stay in the mental hospital so she can get better and be there for the kids. This seems to be a constant struggle for her character; wanting to be with her children but struggling with her mental health, drug addiction, and her personal relationship with Frank. All that being said, despite her character being sympathetic, her actions are condemned by fandom.

However, Fiona leaving in season 9 is not seen this way at all. Now, to be fair, most of the children were adults by this point, so she wasn't leaving a minor to take care of five other minors whilst dealing with an abusive alcoholic father. However, Liam was still very much a child, and legally under her guardianship, yet she still leaves him in the care of Lip and the other kids, despite then all having lives of their own as well.

Throughout the early seasons, specifically 1-3, it is brought up continuously how Fiona taking care of the kids is going to come at the sacrifice of her own life. In season 1, she has the opportunity to leave with Jimmy to pursue her own happiness, but she turns it down in order to stay and support the children. In season 2 she reluctantly puts her trust in Monica to assist in helping with the kids in order to pursue a higher position in her work at the club, but ultimately returns to the status quo when Monica suffers from an episode. In season 3 she gains guardianship of the kids, despite the judge telling her outright it will come at the cost of her own freedom, and she will be obligated to care for these children over herself. She KNOWS that she is giving something up in these moments. She KNOWS it is a sacrifice, and she still makes the decision to move forward with shouldering that burden.

This isn't a complaint of her character, I actually find this struggle of hers to be one of the reasons I find her so compelling. She is only 21 in season 1 and is the main provider for her siblings, who at this point would be lost without her. She is only 22 when she gains guardianship. It is valid to look at her situation and realize that she is sort of backed into a corner. How could she in good faith leave her siblings to fend for themselves? How could she pursue something for herself when all she's known since she was 9 is self-sacrifice and putting others first?

However, I think it's also valid to criticize her actions after she gains guardianship. Even as soon as season 4, her shortcomings of being a guardian make themselves more known. Because, before she gained guardianship, she had no obligation to look after these kids, and her attitude, as seen when discussing Karen's pregnancy with Lip, of "I'm not their mother" held weight, because she wasn't their mother. She had every right to put her own wellbeing above others in seasons 1-3 if she wanted to. However, in seasons 4-7 especially, you can see this start to deteriorate.

Her lack of concern for Ian being missing in season 4, despite him only being 17, as well as her carelessness with having coke in the house when there's a toddler wandering around unsupervised. Her stating to Sean in season 6 that she doesn't want to be the one to raise the kids anymore, or her willingness to not support Debbie in her pregnancy despite Debbie only being 14/15 and still legally being under Fiona's care. Her wishing to no longer be top of the emergency contact list in season 7, even for Debbie and Carl who were still minors and legally under her care, and suggesting to put Kev and V above her despite them having their own children.

Her being legally guardian of these children changes the standards for how she should care for them, and I think it's compelling to watch her crack under that unexpected pressure. However, I think it's valid to find her care of the kids after gaining guardianship less than ideal. Most of the fandom seems to disagree, though.

Then, come season 9, she leaves. After suffering an extreme downsprial and struggling with alcoholism, she decides it's best for her to leave. To be honest, this would be the happy ending to her character people make it out to be if it weren't for Liam. Because all the other children are adults, she has no legal obligation to look after them. (Unless Carl was also a minor, but I forgot, I think he was 18, but the ages are so wonky on this show I can't be sure.) However, Liam is legally still her responsibility. Still, she leaves him behind and asks Lip to look after the kids, despite him just having had a baby of his own and struggling with his own personal battle with alcoholism. Debbie also has her own child at this point so she can't properly care for Liam, Ian is in prison, and Carl is too young (and too Carl) to reasonably take on the role of caretaker here. And, of course, Frank is out of the question. So, really, it was similarly unfair of her to leave that responsibility on them, as it was for Monica to leave it on her. Less so, of course, but still unfair.

I just can't help but think that this is at least similar to the ways Monica would leave. Obviously, to a less severe degree, but Fiona still backed out on an obligation she had to a child legally under her care. Although Liam was in a far better position than any of the kids were when Monica left, Liam did still struggle with the loss, as seen in season 11 when he starts sleeping on the streets, unsure of who is supposed to look after him.

I love Fiona. She's in my top 5 favorite characters on Shameless, but I find a lot of the fandom puts her on a pedestal and refuses to acknowledge her shortcomings or the way that she perpetuates the cycle of addiction and poor parenting once she becomes guardian. Her leaving in season 9 didn't feel like a girlboss win moment despite the show portraying it as such, I found it to be more her continuing the cycle set by Monica, just as throughout the season she had been continuing the cycle set by Frank with her addiction problems.

I honestly find her character to become a lot more rich and interesting when you acknowledge her flaws instead of believing she's justified in all her actions or by removing her accountability and blaming her poor actions on the way she was raised. As she says in season 4;

"It's me, Lip. Not Frank, not Monica. Not nature, not nurture. It's all me. I'm 23. Can't be about how much they screwed us up anymore."

And as Lip tells her;

"You're not perfect, Fiona. None of us are."

[thevagabondexpress]

my gaydar is usually pretty good but i cannot for the life of me decide if blake is or isn't queer somehow

[ursa-arrowbreaker]

ZAHRA AND KASH MY BELOV3SDS

[iheartmoons]

so i was thinking about mickey and ian’s different ways of expressing love. people constantly say that ian is undeserving of mickey’s love because of how much louder it is, and admittedly i prefer mickeys way of loving plot-wise, but i don’t think it’s true. i think it’s SO interesting how ian’s love is softer and quieter whereas mickeys is loud and big because… it’s quite literally the opposite of who they are. hear me out.

early seasons mickey can’t have anyone find out, needs someone who is willing to love quietly. we all remember how bad ian was at hiding his crush on mickey in season one, right? and ian ISNT a quiet person about his feelings - sure he was off his meds, but gay jesus??? mickeys wedding?? but ian IS quieter for mickey. he expresses his love through head kisses and hugs and even when he goes to mexico, ian doesnt tell anyone where he's going. because ian is used to mickey wanting things on the DL. (and yes also because he was throwing his life away and wasn’t thinking)

now lets look at ian - he makes it clear from the beginning that he needs someone who's gonna loudly express their love for him unafraid. sure, he’s able to accommodate for a while with kash and mickey because he understands that being gay isn’t easy for some people, but eventually he gets frustrated that mickey can’t own up to his feelings. now you might say that mickey is a loud person who expresses his opinions a lot, but really when it comes to love, mickey hated being loud and actually struggled to tell ian himself how he felt. but because ian needs someone who loves loudly, mickey BECOMES that.

this is only one interpretation of many, but i think the parallels are fucking cool

[ohnopeh]

don’t mind me sobbing i was just thinking about ian giving all his savings to mickey knowing he wouldn’t be there with him in mexico.

thinking of ian being asked if he really wanted to close his account + him looking at mickey knowing that he would do anything to help him.

growing up poor and struggling to make it to the end of the month but still giving it all up cause the love of his life was in need of it.

just like when they stressed about not having a job in s5 and ian going all the way to make quick bucks for them (despite ian being maniac, he still cared, deeply, intensely)

or once they got married, ian wanted mickey to understand they needed to save money for their future together, a better life. cause he thought of mickey, of them finally living the life ian dreamed so much about with mickey.

ian not wanting mickey to use the money for terry, cause it’s their money and they need it for themselves. selfless ian protesting not wanting terry to mess things up again, only to give in cause it’s for mickey.

the ian that had his ‘shit together’ didn’t care about having nothing saved if that meant mickey was covered for a while.

ian repressing his feelings for him knowing he would do anything for the man he loves. everything come crushing down once he sees him again, letting everything he had bottled up inside come out cause fuck it’s mickey he’s there who cares? he missed him, he thought of him constantly, he loved him and cried once he was finally safe in mexico.

(i picture ian hearing about mickey again from the cop + seeing him later like steve rogers after hearing bucky’s name)

he still regretted leaving him behind but he did everything he could for him at the time and all it took for ian’s walls to come crashing down was to look him in the eyes.

money is a big thing for ian. kash used to gift him things, the pedophiles did too ( ‘he buys me stuff, orders me room service’ ). saw jimmy/steve going all the way for fiona buying her things.

ian blackmailing kash so that mickey could have money in juvie was probably the first time anyone did anything like that for mickey just because they cared about him— mickey not being able to hide to fully suppress his smile as he thanks ian.

‘who cares if i ever see those shitheads again. you had my back more than they ever did’

[thirstyvampyr]

did mickey knew ian was gay before they hooked up? *cracks knuckles* alright sit down let's unpack this shit because yesterday for dinner ive had 4 snickers and im still not down from that sugar high. shutup

in 1x6 he's waiting outside kash and grab to beat up ian. why is he nervous? he beat up lip a few days ago, he beats up dudes on the regular. s1 ian isnt exactly intimidating (sorry ian). is he wary of linda because she has more balls than her husband? sure but he wouldn't be smoking and biting his nails. as a former smoker and nail biter, you don't usually do both unless you’re S T R E S S E D. he’s there alone this time. why did he call off his cousins? maybe stalking the store so much made him notice what was going on with kash *spits on the ground*. maybe he overheard when ian told mandy he was gay right outside their house in 1x3. i don't think mandy told him but she could have.

so back to 1x6. mickey cleans up (a little) and goes to the store to provoke ian. "i forgot the dip" no you didnt, you just needed an excuse to go back in because ian showed up. ian says to kash *burns sage to cleanse myself* "what, so you're just going to let him keep coming in here, and take what he wants?" uh oh actually, yes he will! oops getting sidetracked. mickey tells him "you know where i live if you have a problem". *gestures vaguely* if not gay then why everything? to me, this is textbook boy at school pulling on pigtails and running because he has a big crush. and i mean how many opportunities are there for a closeted gay kid in this neighborhood? ian is cute as a button, he's probably checked him out. "where's firecrotch?!" sir have you put much thoughts into that part of his anatomy? we know he likes redheads...

fast forward to 1x7, that scene (changed my life tbh). mickey's probably loving how fearless ian is. there's only so much grunting and physical contact he can take before he folds (ask ancient romans). he's about 16 in season 1, he's probably climbing up the walls horny and ian gave him the look™ (ian u big hoe) and yet i firmly believe he would have never made a move if he didn't know. hell no, no way! and risk having ian yell something with terry in the next room? with how terrified he is about his father?

what do you think? did he know or did he just went for it?

[lyricailove]

Does it ever hit you that because of Frank and Monica's emotional detachment, all of the Gallagher's seek out affection from romantic partners? But like to an almost obsessive degree.

Fiona's is obvious. She's hypersexual and falls in love easily. She will downplay her issues with Frank as something she's grown used to, but it's clear that it still affects her. She also does the same when it comes to Monica but I feel like her hostility towards other women comes from how she doesn't trust Monica, doesn't really trust herself, and sees those insecurities on other women. Ex: Her treatment of Mandy and distrust of her around Lip.

Lip is a classic case of a man dealing with his mommy issues by making it every woman's problem. He's hostile towards his romantic partners when they want a real commitment from him and he talks to women with so much disrespect that it's a wonder someone hasn't stomped his ass out yet. He's especially harsh towards his own sisters even though they've been the one's who have been there for him. He may hate Frank but he's noticeably giving and extremely forgiving towards men, even those he's only known for a short while. Almost like the story about the turtle was just as much about him hoping that he could fix Frank as it was about Frank crushing his hopes of a real father figure.

Ian being groomed is in no way his fault and is the fault of the creeps who pursued him. But I can't ignore the fact that Frank's abuse and neglect opened him up the further abuse he suffered at the hands of Kash and Ned. It's no coincidence that both Kash and Ned shower Ian with gifts and compliments about how impressive, smart, and mature he is.

Debbie 1. deals with comphet in the first few seasons, and 2. Feels ignored by her family so she tries to create her own family. Debbie is visibly the one most affected by Frank's issues and even when she for all intents and purposes gives up on him, it still affects her. Frank's hurtful words about her only finding love with someone "just as fucked up as she is" pushes her to put consider a dangerous situation with Heidi. She's also someone who struggles with control issues because she needs to help other people. She's a problem solver by nature. It's just that the two problems she wishes she could solve more than anything are out of her hands (Frank and Monica). She can't fix Frank's addiction, his selfishness, or his abusive tendencies. She can't fix Monica's wanderlust, her avoidance, or her aversion to long-term commitment.

Carl is so good at masking his emotions. It's easy to miss. But then you notice things like his attachment to Fiona, his absolute devotion to the girls he likes, and his need to protect. Carl is hypersexual, even though I've seen it rarely brought up in fandom, and longs for a long-term girlfriend. When he does get girlfriends he's all in from the beginning. When Carl loves someone he is all about them. He's so casual when it comes to talking about Frank and Monica, but that doesn't mean those feelings aren't there and they aren't affecting him.

Liam is still young so we don't get to see him in a relationship. He's the one Gallagher who's consistently treated like an actual kid. Probably the one who has the best chance at healthy emotional attachments. But then again, Fiona leaving most likely did a number on him and we weren't privy to what that looks like for him because the latter seasons forgot how to do long-term storytelling and emotional payoff. All we know is that he doesn't remember Monica, Frank being gone makes him an orphan and he's worried about where he's gonna live because Lip forgot that Liam was technically under Frank's care. We didn't get to see it, but I'd say Liam's first emotional crash is probably on the horizon.

[burr-ell]

A Not-Necessarily-Exhaustive List of Good Moments from C1 1-27:

"I have an intelligence of 6, I know what I'm doing"

"We're here to right wrongs, and right lefts—" "And write comment cards"

Tiberius Kraghammer

Clarota

"We'll explain later. You're on the roof of Osama bin Laden's house"

"We'll be taking your weapons, your armor, and I believe your pride"

Percy making the first trick arrows for Vex after a shopkeep was a dick to her about arrows, which is canonically when she began to fall for him

Keyleth killing that one duergar from the TLOVM flashback

"I encourage violence"

Lady Kima being freed and then pulverizing the corpse of the duergar who'd been torturing her

Matt's fucked up body horror monsters

Scanlan taking a dump on a bed for the first time

Pike's crisis of faith when she slits a duergar's throat with her mace and her holy symbol breaks

When the limited T-shirt run went live and then sold out before Marisha could finish reading the announcement

Vax getting his foot burned off in lava

Scanlan the Kingslayer

"Can I use my Luck feat for this?" "You don't have any feet left"

Kima and Keyleth's argument (it was good, haters eat my shorts)

The origin of The Cube

"I'm Vax that's Vex ->" "I'm Vex that's Vax <-"

"Screw you, I want my final words with you to be indignant and irritated!"

"He has three-quarters cover" "I ignore three-quarters cover :)" "...then fuckin' fire!"

"Some people have no sense of fucking honor!"

Travis's notes that just say "I don't trust Clarota I don't trust Clarota I don't trust Clarota"

Percy reacting to the Briarwoods being namedropped during a council meeting

Meeting Gilmore on-stream for the first time

The Belt of Dwarvenkind and Grog's obsessive attempts to grow a beard

Scanlan's blue-shit-scrying potion

Grog "Philip" Strongjaw vs Kern

Vax giving Minxie!Keyleth a belly rub

The hydra fight and the beef with the Slayer's Take

Episodes 18 and 19, in their entirety, but specifically:

Zahra and Vex's initial rivalry-turned-friendship-turned-"I have a crush on Zahra"

Lyra. She's just. so much. idk of what but she is it

"I'm wearing the pajamas with the buttflap and the buttflap is down. The buttflap is DOWN"

Scanlan introducing himself to Rimefang as Burt Reynolds and then Matt, in his scary dragon voice, calling him "Burt"

"I'm sorry, I'm a genius, I'm sorry! Oh, god I'm clever!"

Zahra killing Rimefang

Percy and Vex working together on a history check (it's important To Me)

Wil Wheaton rolling five Nat 1s. In one session

Keyleth and Vax posing as a married couple to get information

Kash insight-checking Thorbir, believing he has to be actively sabotaging them because no one could possibly be that bad at their job (he's not, he really is just that unlucky)

Wil, playing a dwarven fighter, finally rolling a nat 20...for an insight check

The magic carpet losing its enchantment in a pit of acid and Laura's scream of horror from offscreen

"Rakshasaaaaaaa!" -jazz hands-

Kashaw and Keyleth, which was thankfully reworked in TLOVM but was also hilarious

Vex exasperatedly kissing Grog, portrayed by Laura kissing a bewildered Travis

Tyriok the cartographer

Grog, the Vasselheim merchant, and the first and only time Vex started beef with a retailer

Keyleth recounting a vision she had of her own death

The Aramente trial in Pyrah and a cameo from Thordak

Travis getting a medal from a fan for losing to Kern and Matt making it canon

Grog fighting Kern again and winning

Keyleth getting arrested. For the second time in Vasselheim alone

The first appearance of the man. The myth. The Viktor

Kynan's first appearance and Vax's idea of "tough love"

Percy telling his backstory to the party and them immediately affirming their support for him ("You don't have to get involved in this" "Oh, we are SO involved" "You said you wanted 'em dead!") and Taliesin himself being moved to tears over this

Percy creating Diplomacy

Vax and Keyleth bear-sitting Trinket and braiding pink ribbons into his fur

Gilmore finding out Vax wants to see him and teleporting in from half a continent away

Vax shaving half of Grog's beard and Travis breaking a mechanical pencil with one hand

The feast, where Percy actually threatens the Briarwoods to their faces while disguised as Vax

Vax and the Briarwoods. "Gosh you guys are good-looking"

Vax nearly dying and having a vision of the two people he cares about most: Vex and Keyleth

Sylas jumping out the window and doing a perfect 3-point landing...while Delilah blows the athletics check and faceplants in the dirt

"SYLAS"

Vex scoring two crits on Delilah

Tiberius getting Feebleminded

Percy's attack on Desmond. My horrid little skrunkly <3

"YOUR SOUL IS FORFEIT! DIE! DIE!" and Keyleth skipping her turn to just stare at Percy

Vox Moochina

Keyleth taking charge to save the ember roc

Keyleth conjuring a water elemental and Taliesin gargling water to translate her commands to it

And finally, the conversation between Keyleth and Percy where he privately confesses his own worries that he's going dark and that he's afraid of himself, and she expresses her concern for him and promises to be there for him

anyway c1 good

[13as07]

Motherhood #1

(Kakashi Hatake)

[Art work is not mine! Credit to Garajiru]

Requested by: Myself

Keys:

None

[Idea inspired by Criminal Minds - Garcia and Derek; Season 8, Episode 11]

Word Count: 3,979

Warnings and/or Pre-Notes:

None

———————————————————————

My whole body aches as I walk across the grassy field of the Third Training Ground. I'll never understand why Kakashi insists on training so far away from the main parts of the village. Well... I do understand. Despite how he comes off, he is a very sentimental person.

Pain sizzles across my rib cages, a side effect from littered stitches across my skin. I'm never going to hear the end of it when Kakashi finds out.

I should wait until he's done training with his students. I know he's a personal guy and I get it, especially with our line of work, but I want to see him. The burning need for him has been clawing at my heart for the past week. That burning only grew once the stab wounds registered in my head, and somehow became even heavier as needles were being threaded through me to close my wounds. He's going to be pissy or at least off his game when I find him, but that's okay. I know he'll smooth himself out.

As if the universe wants to apologize, a mix of 'why's', groans, and 'Sensei!'s fill the meadow. I can feel a smile perk up at the sounds.

I've heard a lot about my husband's little genins; Sasuke the Uchiha boy who shows great potential if he could get over his attitude, Naruto the chakra-packed spaz-ball who dreams of being Hokage, and Sakara the kunoichi with impressive chakra control who's just a little too distracted by Sasuke.

My smile only grows as the big blob of my husband and his three little blobs fall into my sight. The yellow and orange blob - I think that one is Naruto - is bobbing up and down. What a cute little jumping bean; well jumping blob.

Despite the burning across my sides, I hurry up my pace to get to Kakashi faster.

Once I can make out the details of my dotting husband, the burning in my heart starts cooling off. God, I miss him so much when we're apart. The seemingly unreachable retirement in our future sounds so good right now.

"Calm down, guys. It's just a progress exercise," Kashi's voice rings out, paired with the soft clinking of the bells wrapped around his belt loop. Before I left he mentioned redoing the bell test with his genins to check how they've improved. I guess today is the day.

"Oh, come on Kakashi-Sensei! Do you have to? We all know I'm already the best, do you really have to double-check it?" Blondie whines as he messes with his headband. That is definitely the spaz-ball.

"Being less sucky than Sakura doesn't make you the best," the raven-haired boy mumbles, arms crossed over his chest as he glares at Naruto.

Sasuke's eyes catch me for a second before he glances at his Sensei for guidance. Said Sensei hasn't caught wind of me yet, curtsy of his back being turned towards me with his students facing the both of us.

Sakura's face sinks at her crush's words before a closed-eyes smile crosses her face. "I think it'll be fun to do the bell exercise again, Sensei!" When her eyes snap open, they catch on me too, just like the Uchiha did a second ago. Unlike the boy though, her face scrunches up as she stays focused on me. "Sensei-"

I jump forward, arms wrapping around my husband. I immediately regret it when my stitches come into rough contact with Kakashi's vest. A pain-filled whine slips out as I bury my head between his shoulder blades. "That hurt," I whine again, softly digging my fingertips into his stomach.

"Then maybe don't do that," Kash teases, his smile slipping through his words.

My head lifts before falling back down, softly headbutting his back. "Don't be mean."

A soft chuckle fills the air, spilling out from my husband. The sound fills me with warm, the good love-filled kind instead of the longing kind of heat. "My little crybaby," he mumbles, shifting in my hold so my head is against his chest instead of his back. "Why are you being such a crybaby?"

"I'm not being a crybaby," I bite back but it comes out as a pout instead of the strong 'don't fuck with me' attitude I was trying to have.

"Aww, now you're being pouty," he continues to tease as his hands slide under my shirt.

Despite his teasing tone, everything else about Kakashi is serious. His hands are soft and nimble as he rubs them over my skin, checking for new wounds from my mission. His eye repeatedly scanning me, looking for obvious wounds and any sign of real distress.

"I might have had a not-so-perfect mission," I mumble, glancing behind him at his students. They're all looking at each other in confusion, hushed whispers - and Naruto's failing attempt at being quiet - being passed between them.

     "What does that mean?" Kashi asks, his fingers light as he comes into contact with my wrappings.

     It's taken some practice, but I can see the small cracks in his calm composure. His eyebrows are ever so slightly pushed forward, jaw locked almost unnoticeably under his mask, eye slightly wider than normal, and a drop of worry hidden in his words. From an outsider, he'd look as calm as ever, but not to me. I can see the storm brewing under it.

     "I was stabbed a couple of times but it's not that big of the deal. No casualties and my squad came out less harmed than me, so over all a good mission."

     Another slip of composer; his fingers stiffing a bit as he dips them under the bandages. "I can't believe you were stabbed," he whispers, face inching closer to me so I can pick up on the soft volume.

     I feel bad about not being able to wait to see him. I know it's difficult for him to keep his composure when I'm hurt, and even more difficult when we're around people because he's worried his composure will slip.

     "I got stabbed in my vest," I mumble back, wrapping my hands slightly around his arms before I stand up a bit straighter. I use the extra height to nuzzle myself against his cheek. "It's just a couple of stitches, I'm okay."

     "Why don't they make better vests?" Kash mumbles to himself more than me, his focus on his hands as if he could see them through my shirt.

     His breath has picked up too, fingers not so light as they cling to my wrappings. My poor anxiety-filled husband is getting into his head way too much. "They're not stabproof. It's like when your watch gets wet and stops working. That's water resistant not waterproof. They need to make our vests knife-proof. They should-"

     "I... am... fine..." I breathe out, following each word with a kiss. First to his reviled eye, then to his cheek at the edge of his mask, and lastly, a light one against his masked lips.

     "I know but-"

     My hands dip further down his arms, tugging my shirt up gently so the edge of my bandages is exposed. "See? I'm fine?" I tease a bit, dipping my head behind his ear before pressing another soft kiss into him.

     When I fall back into place, Kakashi's eye is dancing over the edge of my wrap, fingers lightly dancing over my skin again. A barely visible pink pokes out from his mask. My partner might be a very composed man, but he's still a man. One that falls victim to the shaping of my waist, especially when it's empathized by a skirt or crop top; or bandages in this case.

     "It's just a couple of stitches," I repeat before dropping my hands back to my sides, my shirt following pursuit.

     "How... how, um..." Kakashi's flustered state is adorable, the pink getting deeper and his eye still locked in please even though his favorite sight is gone. "How long do you need to be taped up like this?"

     "I don't know. A couple of days maybe," I answer, letting my own eyes wander over him. I'm as pleased to look over Kashi's body as he is to look over mine; though his v-line is my favorite part.  A soft hum comes from him, his body going back to his actual calmness instead of his fake composure. "You relaxed now?" I tease, pulling away from his touch.

     "Ya, I'm relaxed now," he husks out, stepping forward in a slow attempt to chase me.

     "Sensei!" All three of his students call, pulling my husband back down to Earth.

     I think he missed me as much as I missed him. The thought makes me happy, tugging another small smirk to my face.

     "Students!" He calls, eye going wide as he looks at me. Perhaps Kakashi doesn't want me around his students because I'm too much of a distraction. Oh well, one day of distraction won't hurt. "Students," he repeats, turning away from me to face the children he's responsible for.

     "Sensei, who's the cute lady?" Naruto asks, his eyes wide as well as he looks over me.

     "Um..."

     "You can call me Mrs. Hatake!" I chirp out, sidestepping Kashi so his students can see me better.

     "She's not even that good-looking," the little emo boy says, rolling his eyes at Naruto's compliment.

     "And you're not as badass as you think you are," I respond, tone still chirpy as I smile at the Uchiha.

     "Maybe let's not insult Sensei's girlfriend," Sakura pipes in, sending a glare at her heartthrob.

     "Wife," Kakashi corrects, a small smile on his face. My heart jumps a bit at the word. I don't think I'll ever get used to him calling me his wife.

     "Wife?!" They all call out, surprise on their face as they look at me.

     "Wife," Kashi repeats, tugging his glove off his left hand before grabbing at mine. He holds up our hands, showing off our matching wedding bands to his students.

     The bands are basic but cute; black with blue lightening strips through them. Gai teases that Kakashi had them made this way to mimic his Chidori as a fail-proof claim to me. I don't mind the teasing, I find it adorable that Kashi wants people to know for certain that he's my husband. What better way to do that than marking me with his personal ninjutsu?

     "You... are married to someone like that?" His kunoichi asks, face scrunched up in disbelief.

     "Is that supposed to be an insult, Sakura?" Kash asks, his face still covered in a smile as he wiggles his glove back on.

     "No, you're just so..." she makes another face, causing a laugh to brew in my chest. "And she's so pretty."

     "You're pretty too, Sakura. I like the color of your hair," I answer, sending the kid a compliment back. Her face shifts to a smile instead of the previous face of disbelief. Good, I'm making a good impression on my husband's students.

     "You know Sakura's name?!" Naruto asks, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

     I hum a yes, turning my attention to him. "I know your name too, Naruto, and I know Mr Moody over there is Sasuke."

     Naruto - somehow - beams even more with happiness, and Sasuke's face scrunches in disapproval. "How do you know our names?" The ball of chakra asks, his in-place bouncing shifting to actual bouncing.

     "Because she's a jounin, duh. Do you ever use your head Naruto?" Mr Moody asks, paired with another eye roll.

     "Actually, I'm just a chunin. I'm not as skilled as your Sensei," I correct, sending Naruto a soft smile of reassurance.

     "Like a C-level chunin or a B-level chunin?" Sasuke asks, his attention finally caught.

     "Usually B-leveled but I do take C-level missions on occasion."

     "You just got back from a mission, ya?" He asks, body language opening up some. I'm three for three in the student department. That is a solid win.

     "Yes, I did. Maybe we can talk about it over some food, hm?" I gently push, sending Kakashi a sheepish smile. I know he's going to give me what I want; he always does, but I should have asked him privately before bringing it up to his students.

     On the other hand, Kakashi is out of his groove so I'm sure his students are out of a training mindset as well. Some food would help set them back on track, maybe. Probably not, but I want to get to know his students a little more. After all, they're a big part of his life, which makes them a big part of my life.

"Really?! Can we, Sensei? Can we? Can we? Can we?" Naruto cheers, running circles around Kash as he pleads.

"Alright, alright!" He calls, stopping Naruto in his tracks. "We can take a small break and go eat at Ramen Ichiraku, but as soon as we're done eating we are doing the bell test. Y/N can't wiggle you guys out of that," Kashi answers, sending me a warning look, telling me to not even try to stop their testing again after we eat.

"Yes!" Naruto cheers, darting in the direction of the village's main road.

Sasuke rolls his eyes again but follows after his squad mate, his pace notably slower than Naruto's. Sakura follows suit, trying her best to get Sasuke to promise to sit next to her. He is having none of it though, at least not until Naruto offers to sit next to her. Then he seems a little more interested in the offer. The little Uchiha boy takes after his Sensei more than he knows.

—————————————

"That sounds so cool," Naruto yells around a mouth full of noodles. I'll have to send Iruka a passing comment about his kid's lack of table manners. Despite that, Naruto is still adorable and the cutest little fuzz-ball I've ever met.

"Didn't feel cool when I was getting stitched up," I reply a small chuckle following my words.

"If you can take the cut, you can take the stitch," Kakashi teases despite the tighter grip he has on my hand under the table. Mr. Play-It-Cool isn't as laid back as he's pretending.

     "What about you guys? You just got back from the Village hidden in the Mist, ya?" I push gently, trying to change the subject. I can almost hear the 'thank you' brewing in my husband's throat, even if he'd never voice it. The relaxed fingers tangled in mine are enough of an approval. "That must have been fun."

     "It was alright," Sasuke mumbles, chopsticks messing with his noodles. Little Moody isn't as good at playing off his emotions as his Sensei.

     "You got your second tomoe, right?" I try again, turning my focus to Sasuke. He's a closed-off one, just like Kakashi... and his brother.

     The Uchahi's eyes go a bit wide before his full attention is on me. "Um... ya, I guess."

     "You guess? I feel like that's something you would know."

     "I did, ya," he mumbles before turning his attention back to his bowl.

     "Well, that's quite the accomplishment. Your father would be proud."

     I should not have said that. Sasuke's grip on his chopsticks tightens, head snaps back up, glare directed at me, as he pushes himself to his feet. The stool he was standing on clinks to the ground, making Sakura jump. It would be a cute scene if the Uchahi didn't have murder in his eyes.

"And what do you know about my father? Nothing. Just like you know nothing about me, so stop trying to be a mother hen. I don't need you to be one, neither does Naruto or Sakura, so knock it off. And while you're at it stop pretending you know anything about the sharingan too, cause you don't."

     A soft smile sits on my face as I look over Sasuke. He reminds me so much of Kakashi, right down to the similar anger they have. The only difference is I managed to get Kashi to process his anger for the death of his loved ones.

     "Are you done?" I ask gently, ignoring the feeling of Kakashi repeatedly squeezing my hand under the table. That, and the stare he's burning into me.

     "Yes," the Uchiha hisses out, eyes squinting in anger.

     "Well, first, information on anything - sharingan included - is available at the library. Second, your Sensei has a sharingan so I know a good deal about it. Third, there's a difference between me wanting to get to know you and me wanting to mother you. Fourth, I did meet your father quite a few times before his death so I can say for certain that you were one of his pride and joys."

     "Oh," is the only answer I get back, but I don't mind since it seems my speech worked. Sasuke is still a bit on edge but his body language relaxes a bit before he picks his stool back up. I'll count that as a win. What a little spitfire.

The feeling of Kakashi's hold on my hand tightens again, pulling me out of the situation. I turn my attention to him, being met with a soft masked smile. Flowers of love blossom in my chest at the sight. God I love this man, and our little make-shift family. Maybe Sasuke is right, maybe I am accidentally trying to mother my husband's students.

—————————————

"Hatake!" A voice rings out, pulling my attention away from Gai. I've spent the day helping him train his students, aka being an example dummy for new taijutsus he wants to show his genins. It's not all bad, he promised me dinner to "ease my bruises".

"Yes?" I call back, glancing at Gai and his students before turning towards the noise.

Gai's mini-me - Lee - is beaming with joy as he races past me. "If it isn't my greatest competitor for Sakura's heart!" He yells, falling back into his defensive pose. I swear this new generation of Shinobis is just packed full of energy.

     Sasuke makes a face at Lee before turning his attention to me. "Sensei wants you," he murmurs before turning in his heels.

I shoot Gai an apologetic smile before heading off after the Uchahi. It's funny watching him trying to stay a step or two ahead of me. Given, that it doesn't last long, him falling back to a normal pace.

Most of the walk is uneventful, nothing more than silence and eye daggers being thrown at me. "I don't like you," Sasuke finally says once we get to the outer fields of the village.

"Well, I don't like you either," I shoot back, trying to keep the smile off my mouth.

Once again Sasuke makes a face, this time in surprise instead of disgust like earlier. "You can't say that to me."

"And yet, I did," I answer, letting the smirk settle on my face.

"You have an attitude problem."

"I'm copying you, so maybe you have an attitude problem."

Another face, this time leaving him as the spitting image of his mother. It's always surprised me how much Sasuke looks like his mom. Will Kashi and my child look that much like me? Or take after their father? I hope they at least get their father's Shinobi skills. Though, children can't be something I think of right now. Kakashi has his hands full as is.

     Once again silence falls between the genin and I, but this time it's a comfortable silence instead of the anger brewing one from before. As we walk, Sasuke occasionally bumps into me, his nose scrunching up each time followed by a couple of side steps away from me. Despite his efforts, the little Uchahi keeps hovering back to my side and continues to bump into me. It's good to know under all the brewing, Sasuke is still a child.

     "Look!" Naruto's voice echoes across the empty field, his blob coming into view again. "Lady Hatake!" He screams, dragging out my Clan name as he races across the field, Sakura in tow but she's screaming for Sasuke instead of me.

     "Naruto!" I call back, bracing myself for impact. Despite my preparation, I still end up taking a step or two back when Naruto's body collides with mine. His limbs stab into me in a few different places, bones colliding against my own along with my stitches. I suck in the hiss of pain trying to slide out as I hold on to the small boy.

     "Naruto," Sasuke hisses out, dagger eyes back on his face. "Be careful. Hatake is still hurt, dumbie." An eye roll is paired with the end of his sentence, along with a disappointed tongue click.

     "Oh, right. Sorry Lady Hatake."

     "It's all right," I hum, straightening the boy before letting him go. "What are you guys working on?"

     "Chakra control! Which I'm doing awesome at, by the way," Sakura answers, a proud smile across her face. I can't help but smile too at how proud she is of herself. My husband does have some good genins.

     "Hello," Kakashi's voice rings out, pulling my attention away from his students, but not for long.

     "Nah-uh! You get her all to yourself all the time Sensei, wait your turn!" Naruto barks, a sorry attempt at a glare on his face. "Guess what Lady Hatake!"

     "What?" I ask, glancing down at the chakra ball before looking back at my husband. He's beaming - well beaming as much as he lets himself outside of the safety of our house.

     "I tried a new ramen last night!"

     "Oh ya?" My empty question is followed by a twenty-minute conversation about some spicy ramen Naruto tried. It's also filled with Sakura reminding him that he's stupid and Sasuke's disapproval being openly shared.

     "Okay, that's enough about your dinner, Naruto," Kashi pipes up, cutting Naruto off. "You can have her back in a minute. Go... see who can hang upside longest." He mumbles, shrugging towards the tree a couple of feet away.

     "It's totally going to be me," Naruto cheers, running off towards the tree.

     "No way I'm going to let you beat me!" Sasuke yells, dashing after his squad mate, Sakura hot on his heels.

     The thought of children crawls back into my head. I already adore Kash's students, I can only imagine how much I'd adore our children.

     "Hey, Kash-"

     "Love-"

     Silence follows our accidental overlap, before being chased away by both of us chuckling. "What were you going to say?" I ask, soaking in my husband's appearance. No matter how many times or how long I look at him, Kakashi is always the most handsome man in the world.

"I think we should go to dinner tonight," he answers, glancing at his students. As ordered, all three are hanging upside down like bats. Though, Sakura looks tired so the competition will probably end up being between the boys.

"Why's that?" I ask my attention also on the genins. My chest bubbles with joy as I watch the boys try to tug each other off the branches.

"I want to talk about having a baby."

"What?" The word is torn from my lungs as my head flips back to Kakashi.

He's stood there, arms crossed and a faint smile under his mask. "I want to have a baby." He repeats, my head spinning a bit. Maybe he's more prepared for a child than I thought.

"Kash-" I start again, but end up getting cut off for the second time today.

"Naruto is cheating!" Sakura yells, waving her hands around to try and get Kakashi's attention.

     "I'll see you tonight. Naruto! Knock it off!" My eyes trail after him as I watch his path toward his students. The idea of motherhood seemed so lovely a second ago, but now? It's terrifying.

———————————————————————

[em-harlsnow]

mickey is my favourite shameless character, by far. Easily.

However, I can still freely admit that he has many, many faults.

He’s violent to Ian is Season 3 (i am aware he was going through something, excuse it as much as you want but it’s still physical abuse).

He’s violent as a whole, even though some characters deserved it (examples: ned, kash, mr patel or whatever his name was, kenyatta)

He doesn’t understand how to show any sort of emotion, and in that he makes stupid mistakes. He denied Ian help, when he should have gotten it and Mickey was the one around to help him (again, i know mickey was in denial and that he didn’t know much about bipolar)

He’s almost addicted to self sabotage and self destructive tendencies. This is clear in season 11, when he refuses to get a job that is legal because he doesn’t think he’d be good at it and would find it boring.

At times, he’s sexist, shown by his remarks to Svetlana. That marriage js very complex, because both of them were cruel to each other, they had the pressure of a baby and Terry and the way they met was obviously horrible for both.

He can be racist, because he’s uneducated, so maybe it’s not his fault but it’s still his responsibility to fix. Therefore, it’s a fault he’s in control of.

He has zero ability to regulate his emotions, as shown by his (again) physical abuse by hitting ian in the courthouse.

He can be mean and harsh and brash.

Obviously, the reason for most of these things is his own trauma, but it doesn’t excuse it. Most of what he does as a child I do actually excuse because he was a child and couldn’t escape from his father and clearly absolutely hated himself and by extension Ian, since liking Ian is something he hates. Even so, he hurt people, he’s hurt Ian, Svetlana and so on.

I still love him, he’s still my favourite character. Personally, I think ALL shameless characters are bad people. I love this idea, because I think it perfectly shows how humanity is because every person is a bad person (in my opinion). We all do things that hurt people, we all intentionally upset other people, we all make mistakes.

I love Mickey and I love Shameless

[m4ndysk4nkovich]

mickey milkovich x nude, radiohead

i don’t think that anybody can disagree that 1x07 is the episode where we learn the most about mickey milkovich. no, i don’t mean he showed any development or anything like that, but we learned something about him that made him significant for the rest of the show. something that never leaves, something that is important to him. in 1x07, we learn that mickey milkovich is gay, and we learn that he is willing to sleep with ian gallagher (even when his father and sister are in the house).

in 1x06, mickey kind of has an interaction with ian that we later see and are like, “yeah, he’s totally gay”, but back then it wasn’t stated that mickey was gay. mickey steals shit from the kash and grab, and he tells ian, “you know where i live if you have a problem” kind of instigating that ian should come over.

but in 1x07, mickey has stolen the gun from the kash and grab, and ian goes to mickey’s house equipped with a tyre iron, ready to take it back.

the “i want the gun back, mickey” scene needs no introduction or explanation. we all know what happened. we all watched in awe as mickey stood over ian and both of their breaths evened out and they made contact and… bam! they’re getting undressed, just like that.

later on, we are no stranger to gallavich and fighting then fucking. it’s something many people know them for, the fact that they’ll literally beat the shit out of each other and then immediately get on each other. but here, it was supposed to be for shock value because shameless utilizes shock value. to those who didn’t know gallavich was going to happen, watching mickey, the thug who had literally just attempted murder on ian, undress and fuck ian was surprising. later on, we can understand why it happened, but we were supposed to be shocked.

so, here’s where nude by radiohead comes in.

terry wakes up from a nap and goes to take a piss in mickey’s room (there’s a bathroom in there, he isn’t just pissing in it, lol). in there, ian and mickey are naked under mickey’s covers. around them, we see a poster of a woman and we also see a drawing mickey made that says “fuck love”.

so when terry comes out of the bathroom and looks at them both, he doesn’t do what season 3 terry does, he simply says “put some clothes on, you two look like a couple of fags!” and it’s a comical scene because, what the fuck, terry, aren’t you a homophobic murderer? you woke up to grunts and crashes coming from mickey’s room, then when you came in he and another boy are naked in his bed… what do you think they were doing?

so when mickey does put some clothes on, he puts on a radiohead shirt.

the shirt says “you’ll go to hell for what your dirty mind is thinking” and those are the last lyrics of the radiohead song “nude”.

so for those who haven’t listened to the song, here’s my analysis of why this song is associated with mickey milkovich and how it ends up foreshadowing his entire character for the next four seasons.

“don’t get any big ideas

they’re not gonna happen”

literally this scene. mickey caves and gives ian the gun back because lets be honest, it was really just bait. ian leans in to kiss him, and mickey has a look in his eyes where you can tell he wants to, but he can’t. he built this wall up years ago and he’s already cursing himself for letting it come down. terry instructed him to get dressed, and he puts on this shirt. and he’s trying to put this carefully constructed mask back on but he’s struggling. and so, he pushes ian away, “kiss me and i’ll cut your fucking tounge out”. there’s no malice in his tone, it’s a threat, but it isn’t threatening.

“you paint yourself white

and fill up with noise

but there'll be something missing”

mickey hiding in the closet, marrying svetlana, being a father to yevgeny, trying to act like the perfect son of terry. he still has this mask on and he tries to hide who he is but alas, he can’t. he loves ian too much and when he gets married and pushes him away, he’s still gay and in love.

“now that you found it

it’s gone”

upon being married, he tells ian that they can still bang. maybe being married to a woman makes him feel a bit more secure because although he despises it and it’s crushing him, he can keep his whole “king of the southside” thing. now that he’s married and unhappy, terry’s satisfied, and that’s all that matters- well, at one point it was. so he tells ian that they can still fuck, but suddenly, ian isn’t as eager and easy as he once was, and he leaves. he’s gone.

“now that you feel it

you don't

you’ve gone off the rails”

he’s out, he’s with ian, he has ian. things are supposed to be fine- but they’re not. ian’s unstable and has been hospitalized, and mickey breaks. he gets shitfaced and cuts his cheek and cries into ian’s jacket. that wall he once built up? the chest he puffed up, the posters he hung, the tattoos he got, they all mean nothing. it’s all gone. the wall and mask are gone, he’s more fragile than he once was. ian’s broken and it’s simultaneously breaking him too.

“so don't get any big ideas

they're not gonna happen”

this line is so mickey in s5, s6, s7, and s10. ian calling him and mickey running to see ian. he has hope. but no, ian breaks up with him, mickey is arrested, and when ian visits he desperately wants ian back. he tattoos ian’s name on his chest, specifically over his heart, and he practically pleads for ian to stay. then, mickey and ian are fleeing to mexico, and for a second, he has hope again. he fantasizes about he and ian at the beach, ian’s freckled skin being sunburnt, them swimming in the ocean together. for once, he can imagine his dreams being true. but they aren’t. he and ian are getting their marriage license, but ian’s hand wavers over the dotted line and he gives mickey that look and mickey breaks (…ian’s leg. lol). he keeps getting his hopes up and everytime he scolds himself for it because he just ends up hopeless.

then finally, the moment we’ve all been waiting for,

“you'll go to hell

for what your dirty mind

is thinking”

it’s in the 1x07 scene i’m talking about. terry instructs mickey to get dressed, he does, and he puts on a shirt that says this. and in that shirt, he seems odd. the confidence we see him have in 1x03 is no longer there. he doesn’t necessarily look vulnerable, but he isn’t the mickey he pretends to be. he caves and returns the gun, which was just bait for ian to come anyway, and he refuses to make eye contact with ian, but when he does, it’s almost coy? he’s ashamed. he’s thinking of things he know would get him killed and he hates himself for it. terry will end him if he finds out, and yes, he has the posters, the reputation, the persona, the tattoos, the guns, etc. but in the end, it’s all an act, and we can see it. the way he licks his lips, the way his eyes won’t focus, his body language says so much.

[crestfallercanyon]

I think Ian would love when Mickey takes long showers.

The rest of the Gallaghers try to complain, and Ian would shut that shit down immediately. Mickey rarely does something so self-indulgent that isn't, y'know, a violent impulse. This is something that no one else gets to see, this isn't Mickey putting on a toughness show, this isn't anything but Mickey taking care of Mickey and Ian loves that for him. Wants him to have that for as long as he can.

Because here's the thing -- Ian remembers the filthy dirty boy he used to fuck in the Kash and Grab.

While Ian never judged Mickey for it (hell, who hasn't experienced a water shut off or heater shortage in Southside?) he knew that Mickey experienced it worst than most. Half the neighborhood called Mickey smelly for fuck's sake, it was well known that Mickey was not clean.

I also imagine Mickey had to fake-it-til-you-make-it in feeling okay with being that dirty. He stopped taking frequent showers or bothering with any hygiene products because he knew the Milkoviches only had so much hot water (or water in general). Terry got first dibs because if he didn't get what he wanted then his piss-poor mood would dictate how everyone's day's went.

Then, Mickey gave next priority to Mandy. Mandy's a girl, which when he was younger didn't really mean anything to him, until she came home wildly upset about being dirty, about how all the girls wouldn't stop pointing out how awful she smelled, how she got her period and the bloodstains were still in her clothes and she didn't have enough water to clean them out but she didn't have any more clean clothes, and fuck, Mickey realized girls were fucking mean when it came to shit like that, and Mickey never wanted her to deal with that ever again. After that, Mickey made sure Mandy had enough water to stay clean, to be orderly, because Mandy cared and Mandy deserved to feel good about herself.

If his brothers were home, they'd get it next, because they somehow always smelled worse than Mickey did. However, that was rarely a problem, and a lot of the time after Terry and Mandy they didn't really have much left in the tank anyway.

So Mickey learned to not care. Not care about being gross and disgusting and feeling itchy at times. To smell clothes and while it was sharp to his nose it was whatever. So something gave him a rash once, he can fucking live. Everyone seems to look at him like he's even more dangerous when he's filthy, so it comes with its own perks, right? Who cares if some nights he couldn't really sleep. He's a kid, and who fucking cares, he's probably not living that long anyway.

But as Mickey starts having more people care about him (and care more about himself in turn) things change in his head. Even when he comes back in season 7, he is nowhere near as covered in dirt as he was when he was young. And while some of this can be chalked up to not being a kid anymore, that's certainly not most of it. The self-loathing he had no longer manifests so outwardly, he's no longer living in a burn out and die young mindset, and he's got people who he gives a shit what they think about him. He wants to try to like himself the way other people (Ian) likes him. Which means being fucking clean.

So he starts to take long showers. And he realizes that, yeah, he likes the feel of having hot water on him, melting the day away. Likes having the assurance that he can have this without being covered in blood and needing to medically clean out the wound (if he'd even do it then). He likes... taking showers. Being clean. Having clean clothes. And Ian, of course, notices.

So, when Ian can hear Mickey taking a shower, and taking his fucking time and actually taking care of himself, Ian freaking loves it. Doesn't let anyone bother Mickey about the water, doesn't let anyone tell him what soaps to use or not use. It's all for his disposal.

And when Mickey's done, Ian will open the door and join Mickey in with the steamy bathroom. Before Mickey can utter a single word about it (most days he'll try to crack something self-deprecating, not quite broaching sorry but as close as he usually gets; on particularly vulnerable days he will try to genuinely apologize) Ian kisses him. Tells him he smells good. Tells him he looks good. Ian's a big fan of positive reinforcement. He's also a big fan of the smile on Mickey's face when he's feeling good about himself.

Ian of course wishes he could get Mickey to feel good about himself every day, but, it's a work in progress just like everything else. Mickey's got to unlearn a childhood built on the belief that he was barely worth garbage. That takes time. Ian gets it.

An easy place to start, though? Enjoying when his man takes his long hot showers.

[ladykakata]

I just saw your post about ian’s disorder and how it distorts his reality and makes him question why mickey remains in his life and you really hit the nail on the head. people rarely talk about gallavich’s relationship battles from ian’s perspective unless it’s to criticise him and I think a lot of people find it difficult to relate to his issues ig? but mood disorders go hand in hand with anxiety, identity and confidence issues. but I also think its a writing issue because so little of ian’s experiences with his illness comes from his own perspective. so it makes sense the audience tends to sympathise more with mickey because we don’t get to see ian’s personal struggle or his reasoning for certain behaviors and s10 is one of the rare examples where he got to explain his issues and the audience still couldn’t understand. sorry this is ranty lol but I’m just happy to see more meta that defends some of ian’s actions 😊

Thank you <3 It makes me sad to see so many comments practically demonise Ian, and while Ian DOES do questionable things, he's no more or less blameless than Mickey.

A comment on my post mentioned that Ian fought for Mickey just as much as Mickey fought for Ian ... in the early seasons. Remember, Mickey literally beat Ian up in frustration over the situation with Svetlana and the forced marriage. Does him attacking Ian get him off the hook for what he did? No. Does it justify it? No. It's context, not justification, which can be two entirely different things. Ian refused to let Mickey go, he loved Mickey and was visibly heartbroken at the idea his man was slipping away, even if Mickey was trying to cover up his own upset by acting aggressively. Stans might paint Ian as in the wrong again, saying he should have been supportive of Mickey going through the forced marriage and understanding it's not as 'easy' as Ian makes it sound for Mickey to just deny his father. But bearing in mind, their relationship was still very young, Ian knows Terry is a disgusting and violent man, but the sense of doom and horror is not the same unless you've grown up with it and lived it like Mickey.

Ian fought for Mickey. And Mickey fought for Ian during his bipolar struggles. Keeping score is NOT wise in relationships, so I wouldn't call this keeping score, more them trading places in who is asking the other to stay or saying they love the other during dark times.

Another point is that this was all before Ian's bipolar condition really started to manifest, so Mickey must have been even more confused that the man who was distraught over him entering a meaningless marriage was suddenly pulling away and questioning his devotion. Emotional permanence is difficult in a lot of conditions, again I am not bipolar myself but DO have pretty erratic emotional issues that mean I can go from feeling adored to feeling like the scum of the Earth everyone hates, and there's the persistent background hum of feeling unwanted that's lifelong. Ian gets a triple-hit in that he's a middle child (younger than Fiona and Lip, older than Carl, Debbie and Liam), he's inherited Monica's bipolar disorder and his chronically unstable home life tends to lead to the idea of feeling wanted by his parents and forgotten by most. I wouldn't be surprised if he felt like his mother just rejected him/abandoned him considering how often she is gone, Frank has literally attacked him unprovoked and it was only when he grew in height and gained some confidence he really started to push back, and he is neither the baby of the family nor the parent figures that Fiona and Lip were forced to be. The people he tends to form relationships with tended to lean towards lust with no real chance at a stable, happy relationship (Kash, a married man with children, and Ned, who is the same albeit Jimmy is an adult) before Caleb and Trevor, which wouldn't surprise me if he again subconsciously thought he was disposable.

I guess I'm picking up on the side effects of Ian's neurodivergence, and it pairs with a comment remarking on how people are supportive of mental health disorders until their effects affect them, then suddenly everything is unacceptable. Again, some of Ian's actions are not justified - I'm once again referring to him baiting Mickey into a physical fight by calling him slurs - but he himself explains why he did it. Mickey looked past it, and I do wonder if he's realising that yeah ... Ian, the man HE knew and who was proudly gay with very little tolerance for homophobia, suddenly turning around and calling him slurs was incredibly out of character and likely another moment of Ian's brain lashing out.

Ian did negative things to Mickey, and he should apologise. Just as Mickey has done things to Ian and should apologise. One is not better than the other. Mickey's reasons for doing things can lie with his upbringing, PTSD and circumstances, Ian's reasons can lie with bipolar disorder, his upbringing and circumstances. But they are still well-intentioned for each other, and I think they do help bring out the best in each other.

[bubblegumbarbie33]

I really want to write a Shameless AU where the day after 'Cascading Failures' Mandy wakes Mickey up and is like "Fuck this shit we're leaving" and she has a plan to move in with an Internet friend in Indiana but Mickey physically can't leave because Ian Ian Ian so Mandy takes him to the Gallagher house (where Fiona is freaking the fuck out about getting her kids back) and practically begs Fiona to take her brother in like she took Mandy in (not really because they were always fighting but also Fiona never kicked her out so.....)

Fiona's obviously like "Fuck this BS I've gotta get my kids back" and Mickey says that he'll help. Because he remembers what the system is like. Being alone. Fighting every second of every day. Being in a constant state of fight or flight. And he doesn't want that for Ian. Or any of the little Rugrats.

So he stays in the basement and keeps out of the house whenever social services stop by, and cleans and learns how to cook (pizza bagels and burnt eggs) and Fiona gets him a job (because he's not staying at her house with no money coming in, and Mickey doesn't want to work at the Kash and Grab with no Ian) and he works at the Alibi because his dad doesn't come around too often (he owes too many guys money or they owe him a boot to the face) but when Terry busts through the door Kev shoves Mickey under the bar like a little kid.

Mickey goes to the court hearing, because why wouldn't he? And Ian sees him walk in with Fiona and Mickey's looking at the ground and shuffling his feet because he knows that this is too much. That he's caring too much. But Ian doesn't say anything and just sits, glued to his side, until Fiona finally gets her kids back for good and everyone's jumping up and down and Mickey's just smiling but also a little sad because he's never known a family like this.

And then it's peaceful and domestic for a while, Mickey blends into the family. Makes friends with Kev and V. Becomes an dependable ego-check for Lip, a weird cousin/older brother for Carl and Debbie, a helping hand to Fiona, and a boyfriend to Ian. And it's some cheesy Brady Bunch shit but he lets himself love it because he's gone two decades without feeling safe.

Then, of course, Terry finds him. One of his cousins tips him off. He catches Mickey walking home from the Alibi one night, really lays into him. Mickey tries fighting back but finds himself paralyzed by that old, solid fear in the pit of his stomach. So he's just hit, again and again, in the street in front of the Gallagher house.

Until Fiona's on top of Terry with a bat, and Carl's got a blowtorch, and Lip's calling the cops because getting Terry sent to jail will make everyone's life easier, and Ian's kicking the shit out of him, and Debbie's holding a pillowcase full of bricks but she's more focused on making sure Mickey's cuts aren't deep enough to do lasting damage.

And that's enough to get Terry put away for a while. Tony makes sure of it, as due to some personal revelations he's definitely not a supporter of gay-bashing. And Mickey's lying on the couch, feeling like a sack of shit. A burden on the Gallaghers. He contemplates running down to Indiana, but Mandy has seemed happier based on her infrequent texts and social media posts, and he doesn't want to bother her. Because that's what he is. A bother.

But then Ian's sitting down next to him and turning on a movie. And slowly the rest of the family trickles in. And then it's just a normal night with leftovers and action flicks and Ian's arm wrapped around him. And Mickey falls asleep, knowing that when he wakes up the next day, it won't just be a dream.