#i love my husband and his very normal sleep schedule

[ranbeloveds]

Came home this afternoon and everyone is just. Asleep. On the couch. I’m just, going to tiptoe around them, I think. I’ve never actually seen Tubbo nap, maybe this is good for him?

[neesieiumz]

catharsis || ──────── s. aizawa

day five — SOMNOPHILIA / VOICE KINK / DADDY KINK

『 synopsis 』 after a long patrol, your husband comes with an ache only you can sate, only to find you deep in sleep

『 warnings 』 — 18+. sm*t. minors do not interact. husband!aizawa. pro-hero!reader. p*orn with very little plot. that's why it's shorter than my normal fics. established relationship. she is a natural disasters hero. and he has his normal job. somnophilia. voice kink. daddy kink. he is very much in love with you. like borderline obsessed with you. and vice-versa as well. female reader. black-coded reader but anyone can read. he calls you a slut but you enjoy it. sweet aftercare. was this self indulgent? i plead the fifth, how bout that?

『 writers notes 』 honestly feel like i overdid with the daddy kink but here we are! hope you enjoy it and you won't get a new ktober fic until next week tuesday! check the masterlist!

『 word count 』 3.0k

previous fic in ktober | masterlist | next fic in ktober

The night had fallen upon your home before you had known it, the twinkling stars gazing down at you, the full moon’s brightness fully mocking your somnolence. You could no longer stay up for him, no matter how much you tried. You had waited for long before sleep was beginning to overtake your body, and you knew this was another night you’d go without being able to see your husband. 

Your husband was Eraserhead to the world, but at home, he was Shouta to you. Your Shouta. The two of you were heroes, after all, that was how the two of you met. You knew the long nights that came with the job, especially with him being a teacher as well. 

Dressed in a thin two-piece set, in a pale baby blue, you lay on your bed, covered in your warm sheets, with nothing but the sounds of your automated fan blowing cool air into your room, combatting the heated summer night outside. With school out, and your husband only getting a reduced check from his main source of income, he had no choice but to join up in nightly patrols, his main specialty when it comes to hero work. 

The two of you found each other while working patrols late at night, you being a new transfer from a faraway city on the outskirts of Japan, where natural disasters were then likely to occur. 

“Eraserhead, what kind of name is that?” Your smile was wide, contagious even. 

The two of you stood in an alleyway, with him hanging upside down from it, his eyes obscured by the bulky yellow goggles he constantly wore.

“Trust me, I was definitely not the one to make it.” His voice was deep and grave, it slightly echoed through the alley. 

“That means whoever made the name must have been pretty special huh?”

It was silent for a moment, and for a moment, you thought you hit a nerve, anxiety rising within you. 

“Yeah, I guess you can say they were.”

You gleaned up at him, seeing some semblance of a smile on his face. This caused your own smile to widen slightly, standing up straight. 

Your marriage was a private one, one with family and friends only, a short, quiet, and intimate event. The two of you only had a week off for your honeymoon, during the time of which students were out for school to not mess with his schedule. The two of you are extremely busy, with his job as a hero course teacher and of course your own as a rescue and natural disasters hero. The two of you barely had time for each other, easily taking what you could with each other. You knew what came with dating and eventually marrying another hero, especially with someone like your Shouta. 

You lay across the bed, sighing as you relaxed into the comfort of the comforters, onto the softness of the mattress. Closing your eyes, hoping to bring a new day, hopefully with your husband’s arms comfortably snug around your waist. 

— — — —

You heard a squeak first. 

Your eyes barely cracked open, still heavy with sleep, as the squeaking sound got louder and longer for a moment and then stopped altogether. You didn’t move, your heart racing and beating drums within your chest as the sound of muffled footsteps got closer and closer to your bed. You could hear ruffling, like clothes were being moved before the familiar fresh scent of mahogany and lavender, your body relaxing as you did so. You opened your eyes a little bit further, being able to see the clock on your bedside table, seeing the number 2:34 glowing from the digital clock. This was a first, you never woke up when he came home from patrols, you always found yourself being wrapped up in his arms when you woke up in the morning. You tried to find the confines of sleep, hoping to easily slip into it, knowing you’ll wake up in your husband’s arms once more. 

Creaakkk…

His footsteps got closer and closer, his scent slowly gaining intensity as something within went off, like chilling tingles crawling up your spine. You could feel his eyes staring holes into you, possibly scanning your entire form wrapped up in your blankets. A familiar tingling sensation began to erupt and spread through you. It had been months since the last time he touched you, the two of you being completely swamped with work. Suddenly, the bedframe creaked, as you felt the mattress underneath you slightly dip. He was so close to you, his knee grazing up against your back, the blanket being the only thing that kept the two of you lightly touching. Droplets of water, possibly from his shower that he took when you were still deep in sleep, dripped down onto you, feeling the cool, wet spots from your blanket. You kept yourself as still as possible, sleep still dancing in your eyes. And then, all of a sudden, he crouched down, the bed creaking along as he did.

It took all your self-control not to gasp as you felt his erection pressing up against you. Even with the blanket, you could still feel it. You held back the slight gasp out a slight moan as he pushed his hip in between your bottom. He let out a hefty groan, his head falling right beside your own, his lips right next to your ear as he did. You could feel yourself clenching around nothing, feeling yourself beginning to drip down your thighs and stain your thin shorts. All of your self-control was slipping piece by piece, your body aching and wanting for him. Your breathing became shaky, you know he could hear it, and yet he continued his actions. You could feel his lips slowly press up kisses along your cheek and jawline. His nose nestled itself in between your ear and your hairline that peeked from the night-time scarf you wore, before taking a deep breath in, taking your freshly washed scent, your body wash, as well as your nighttime hair products. 

“You smell so good,” his voice wasn't strained, as if he was holding back as well.

“I missed you so much,” he spoke again, the bed creaking again as he moved, his hands beginning to move down, thumbing along the hemline of your shorts.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been here as much, snowflake,” he mumbled in your ear, his hand now officially slipping down into your shorts. 

His fingers slipped in between your legs, two of his fingers easily spreading your lips apart, cool air hitting your clit, causing your body to tremble ever so slightly. Your mouth is slightly agape, drool slowly dripping out of your mouth onto your pillow. His fingers easily spilled into the mess in between your legs, pressing up against your clit. Carefully, he massaged circles into you, every movement slow and deliberate, as if he didn’t want to wake you. He probably didn’t wake you up. You had just gotten home from aiding a beach town devastated by a hurricane, pulling people out from rubble, and creating emergency service tents. 

“I know you just got back, but I…” he trailed off on his words as his fingers slipped further down, sliding in between your labia. 

“I can’t hold myself back, fuck.”

Your husband sounded so pretty, his voice straining every syllable as his hips ground more and more into you. By now, your shorts were a mess, and your underwear soaked with your juices. No longer able to hold yourself back, you softly pushed your hips back against his fingers, and hard-on. He most definitely felt your movements, letting out a massive groan as his dick twitched underneath his boxers. 

“Naughty girl, such a slut even in your sleep…” his chuckle echoed against your bedroom walls, as his fingers dipped in even further, one of them pressing into your hole. 

“Everytime I have to stay away from you, whether it be my job, or your own job, I can feel myself descending into madness–” his words suddenly cut off with a guttural groan, his hips suddenly giving off a sharp thrust.

“I am obsessed with you, you know that right?”

Tears dripped down your eyes, staining your pillows as his words enchanted you, sending great shocks of ecstasy through you. You could feel yourself trembling, only aching for him more and more. His own boxers were sticky with pre-cum, you could feel it oozing onto your satin shorts, slowly mixing in with your own soaked juices. His hand slowly pulled themselves away from your cunt, the sudden loss of pleasure causing your emotions to deflate before feeling that very same hand pulling at the hem of your shorts. You kept as still as possible as his large hands pulled your shorts down around your ankles, revealing your wet pussy. 

“Agh, fuck,” is all he could say as he suddenly sat up for a moment. 

You could hear shuffling in the background, most likely him taking off his boxers, hearing some kind of fabric being thrown in the air and landing on the floor. You felt his hands back on you, before feeling the tip of cock press up against your cunt, slipping and sliding in between your lips, gathering some of your juices. With a final swipe, before you knew it, you felt him press the tip at your pussy, your body trembling as he began to push it. 

“Baby, baby fuck–”

He pushed himself deeper into you, your eyes squeezed shut, your cunt throbbing around him.

“Missed you, missed you so fucking much,”

You had never heard him ramble like that, his usually deep gravelly voice seeped in desperation. His hands gripped at the meat of your thigh, holding your place as he rutted his hips into you. Your lips parted, and the entire area underneath them was drenched with sweat. Your hands tightly squeeze the comforter. The heat was overtaking you, a violent intensity grappling at you. Your thoughts that once ran wild soon became filled with one thought, Shouta. Everything about him was different, the way his voice hit your ears, each syllable easily ripping a new reaction out of you. It was only a matter of time before you lost control before he knew you were awake, feeling everything he was doing to you. 

“My wife, my pretty wife,” he groaned, his hands moving up and about.

“How could I fucking stay away from you?”

With his strength, he moved you about with ease. You no longer lay at your side, but instead, your knees dug into the mattress, your stomach lying against the bed. He pressed his hand against your back, your back arching up against him. He never pulled his cock out of you, staying snug inside you as he positioned you to where he wanted you to be. 

As soon as you were in position, he held no mercy towards you. Pounding away at you, like a man with nothing else to live for at that moment but to ravage you. Tears welled in your eyes as absolute euphoric pleasure took over you, it came as quick as lighting. With the sudden overload on your senses, your control over your actions snapped.

A moan slipped out of your lips, the sound causing him to falter for just a moment. With the wet sound of skin against skin, he leaned down once more, moving his long hair out of his face, finally allowing him to see the tears streaming down your face, your eyes slightly opened, rolled to the back of your head, mouth agape with spit dripping down.

One of Shouta’s hands stayed at your hips while the other suddenly reached down, wrapping around underneath your chin, pulling your body upwards with ease. Your hands propped you up as he pulled your head back, your eyes locking. The position allowed you to see just how frenzied your husband looked. His thick fat cock plunging mg into you, each movement only escalating him more and more.

“How long have you been awake sweetheart? Huh, liked what I was doing to you? Hmm?”

You tried to speak, but the only thing that could slip out of your mouth was pleas if you could even call it that.

“Daddy, Daddy-fuck, it’s too–fuck!” You screeched, gripping at the pillow as your eyes squeezed shut, overcome by the sudden frenzied thrusts your husband was sending your way. 

“Dirty little slut, letting me think you were asleep ? How long were you awake for?”

For a moment, you couldn’t answer him, only focused on the effervescent volcano building up within you. All of a sudden, his thrusts slowed down, causing you to whine as you looked back at his teary eyes. 

“I asked you, how long have you been awake?”

“Since the moment—ahh– you walked in! Since the moment, you walked in, please don’t stop fucking me, Daddy!”

Shouta suddenly pulled all the way out, your cunt only squeezing around the tip of his fat cock, before slamming it back into you, almost hitting and bruising your cervix. Both you and his own moans and groans echoed into the air, mixing together in a beautiful melody. His hand left your chin, your body flopping forward for a couple seconds before suddenly feeling your arms being jerked back. Your moans became scream-like as he grabbed at both of your wrists, suddenly pulling your arms back. 

“Fuck,” he cursed, hissing as he pummeled into you, “so fucking tight–huh, you like the way I fuck you, huh?”

You could barely get any words out, shaking your head vigorously, clenching around him. Every plunge into your cunt devoured you, your husband’s moans and groans had your body trembling. His growls reverberated within your ears, only causing your body to curl in pleasure. 

“I said,” he suddenly cut into your thoughts, your body jerking up even further, “you like the way I fuck you, slut”

“Yes, daddy!”

Shouta’s chuckle was deep, and his thrusts only overwhelmed you even further. You relished in the way your skin took the pain, feeling the bloom and sting tingle all over you. If you could blush, you knew the bottom of your thighs would be blooming red. Your tongue lolled out of your mouth, your eyes rolling out the back of your head. All of a sudden, Shouta dropped your arms, your body flopping, back arching into the bed as his hands gripped at the flesh at your hips and butt. His thrusts became erratic in nature, his already broken-down composure crumbling even further. You could hear his breathy words, soaking in the neediness laced within them. 

“Missed you so fucking much, my wife– my fucking wife.”

“Look so fucking pretty, so fucking senstive f’ me.”

“Missed this pretty fucking pussy, hate how much I have to leave you–fuck!”

Shouta’s body lurched, towering over your own. You could feel his sweat dripping down from his body, falling like light rain into your almost bareback, your thin night-top crumpled up at your bosom. Your hands crumpled up the blankets and sheets underneath you, the feeling of your tongue slightly grazing against the fabric. Your words soon dulled out, the only thing on your tongue was your monas and coherent words putting together the title you called him in bed. You could feel your cunt tightening up around him, like a ticking time bomb going off within you. 

“Such a sweet fucking pussy– fuck–” his body suddenly lunched, the bruising grip he had on your hip tightening. 

Your body convulsed, shaking in his hold as your mind went blank white, tears streaking out of your eyes as your climax ripped out of you, your juices spilling and ripping all over him. 

“Daddy!—”  your final words cut, your voice echoing against the white walls of your room.

With a final grunt, you felt your husband slump over, feeling his dick twitching inside of you, painting your walls white. Soon, the only thing you could hear was the sounds of your heavy breathing, both your and Shouta’s as well. You let out a whimper as you felt him pull out his cock out of you, leaving you with withdrawal. Without him letting go of your hips, your legs fully slumped onto the wet bed. With hands still around you, shrieking as he swept you up from the bed. You held onto him as your husband slowly got off the bed, turning your head to see him slip into your bedroom’s bathroom, using one hand to turn the light on. He placed you on the toilet, before walking to your sink. You couldn't help the soft smile that slowly appeared on your face as you heard the faucet turn on. 

He walked back over with a rag, slowly opening up your legs as you both felt and saw your cum mixed with his, dripping down your inner thigh. He moved the warm rag against your skin, letting out a short gasp as he grazed the rag against your sensitive cunt, cleaning up the main source of the mess. You heard your husband let out a breath of a chuckle, seeing a ghost of a smirk etched on his face. Your soft smile turned abashed as your hand reached up, smacking him slightly on his shoulder. Your brick house of a husband didn’t even flinch from your smack, continuing to clean you up. Soon you could feel nothing but the touch of water on your legs. Once finished, your husband slowly pulled your soaked shorts down the rest of the way, before tossing them into your laundry hamper. With nothing else, he carried you back to the bed. 

The two of you slipped underneath the sheets, his arm easily wrapping your waist as he pulled you close. You had no use of the pillows, using your husband’s naked chest, humming at the warmth that radiated off of his body. Before you knew it, you had laid a soft kiss against the beefy shoulder of your husband, before snuggling back into him. You both heard and felt him move, smiling as you felt a soft pressure against the top of your head, feeling the sensation of lips. With that, you drifted off to sleep, slowly hearing your own husband’s snores echo into her. 

[starsomens]

𝕂𝕖𝕒𝕥𝕠𝕟

year 1

1-3 months

Have a new baby at home was almost like having a guest in your home. Only your life revolves around them now and you’re constantly worried if they’re okay!

When you had gotten home from the hospital Keaton insisted that he was still sleepy and so stayed asleep meanwhile you and Noah were freaking a bit

“Is he supposed to sleep that much?”

“I mean his is a newborn so I guess it’s normal……is he breathing” *proceeds to put his finger under his nose “okay he is”

Keaton was more a day sleeper rather than at night….big problem. Here you were in your rocking chair trying to get him to sleep at 4:17 am. Your eyes were heavy, your arms felt like rock and you were really just ready to knock out right there. You didn’t tell Noah since he had some things to get done tomorrow

After half hour passed Noah came in rubbing his eyes and took Keaton from you

"Come on babe, it's my turn to watch him,"

"are you sure...*yawwwn* you have that meeting later today, I'll be-"

"Not gonna hear it. Get to bed now missy,"

You were so grateful to have Noah there to help you with as much as he does

Feeding, changing, bathing and night shifts were shared but he always made sure to take on a majority so you could rest more. While he did work still, he worked from home and if he had to take the whole day to help you he did.

The one thing that he did worry about was how small Keaton was. He was just so tiny in comparison to him. He held his entire body in his two hands!

He loved to do skin to skin, especially before going to sleep or while doing work at home. He knew that it was essential for bonding and just overall good for the baby. On top of that he really did enjoy just having Keaton lay on his chest and fall asleep.

When it came to breast-feeding, he was a very big help. He would help to get a good latch or he would help you with the breast pump and remind you about times and switch. Help you moisturize them to keep them from getting dry and cracked

There were nights where he would put Keaton to sleep. While he was in the rocking chair, he was just stared down at him while he stroked the soft hair on his head with his finger.

“ never really thought that I would be a dad…. Once we found out about you, it really did change everything. I swear I’m never going to leave you you need me”

He wants to give him the best life possible and the best dad that he can

3-6 months

So much development! Noah is just taken away by it! Now he's mimicking his faces, and sounds and he will spend HOURS just making faces and sounds or copying him

"babe, babe! Look he's copying me screaming face!" and he'd make his face then turn Keaton around to show you his face

He is convinced Keaton is more advanced than most kids so every time you go to the doctors he's just waiting for them to say they're perfect

the more he grows the more he looks like Noah but with your eyes. You spent 9 months carrying a copy of your husband for him to be his exact copy, but, he did take your attitude and personality

Noah swears that he gave him stank eye when he took the bottle away from feeding and said it looked exactly like you did

"Of course he is! Look at him!"

Noah Love tummy time with Keaton he was just so cute the way he smiled and giggled and tried to hold his head up. And yes He's let his head fall right on the floor and yes Noah has laughed while kissing his head better

Keaton seems to have a thing whenever Noah watches him that he just blows his diaper up almost on purpose. Noah thinks Keaton is entertained by it since he always giggles when he changes his diaper with a stank face.

yes Noah has gotten peed on

Keaton for the most part was a calm baby and seemed to like and be comfortable on schedule and would sleep and eat around the same times unless something happened

Whenever the guys are over he does hover. He hates to be called one and to admit it, but he is a helicopter parent (and it's really cute)

He 10000% takes milestone pictures every month to treasure his growth. Which by the way has cleared a wall in his studio to hand pictures of you guys on it.

Although he loves being hands on he also loves to watch you be a mom. The Keaton looked at you, how loving and soft you looked as a mom. The way your body has changed to create your baby always amazes him.

7-12 months

Keaton was now going through some changes and shifts some were better than others, including you not going to him as often when he cried. Which you hated and honestly Noah would just give in too because in his words it's

"dumb as fuck"

CRAWLING! EVERYWHERE! He underestimated how fast babies can be when they crawl But he loves to lay on the floor and let Keaton just crawl all over him or come and plop his body on his face

By now you're body has healed pretty well but still had some baby weight on you and Noah thinks you still look incredibly sexy

"but Noah look at this,"

"the body that popped out my beautiful son? Yeah I love it, now stop shit talking yourself before to bring Keaton to slobber on you"

Uses his baby as a threat against you by hold him above you and just letting his drool drip down on you (pure evil)

Speaking of drool, he's ben chewing on everything to get to his itchy gums. You noticed he started to grow teeth at around 7 1/2 month when he gave you an open mouth "kiss" you felt something rough and it was teeth! You R A N to Noah

"TEETH!"

"What?"

"TEETH!" and you just opened his mouth to show him the small stubs of teeth growing from the front gums. You were just glad you didn't catch it while you were breast feeding, welp, that means he's gonna have to bottle but you pump what you can

Now weening him was a little difficult. Even your pumped milk wasn't enough for him

"I mean, if you refused to give me your boob I'd cry too-" "Noah!"

Eventually through a lot of crying and one or two tantrums, he was moved on to bottles, now the issues was drying out your milk or whatever else was left

"If you want my hands are really big so I can just-"

"are you offering to milk me?"

"no.......maybe."

As for talking you guys have been trying to get him to say mama or dada any chance you got, but now it was a secret competition of who he would say first

Noah would basically spam him with the word Dada or Papa while you weren't around, and all lil Keaton would say was "mmmm" "buh. Buh" and blow raspberries

Now he did say his first words and it was when you had to go to a doctors appointment and he was getting fussy

"Say bye-bye to mama bud, she's gotta go"

"awh baby, I' don't want o leave you ether," you said kissing his chubby cheeks "mommy will be back soon okay?" while you hand him over to his dad he starts to whine and pout for you and said

"mama" in his sad voice as he chews at his cubby hand wanting you to stay

"HE SAID MAMA! HE SAID MAMA! Yes baby! I'm mama, that's me baby" you were ecstatic, while Noah was a bit disappointed he was still so proud to hear him say his first word, and at 8 months! You were a bit late to your appointment but hearing your baby say mama was much more important than the doctors.

but one of the biggest surprises was when he walked for the first time, and yes you both cried. It was actually at rehearsals for an upcoming show near home so you went with the guys and of course Keaton had his sound protection you were on the side of the stage holding Keaton up by his hands as you encouraged him to dance as his father sang. As he bounced up and down he was also padding his feet a lot and was just so excited for his daddy who was just out of reach

You start to move with him one foot at a time as he started to walk just a bit faster seeing how much closer he was getting to Noah, Noah turned and he saw you walking with Keaton as he held on to your fingers and crouches down with a big smile on to his knees holding out one of his arms

and just like that he let go of your fingers and stumbled his way to Noah, tripping on the last step but caught by his papa, Noah just picks him up and hides his face in his little shoulder and you know he felt emotional. An entire year went by and he didn't know how it went by so quickly, how much he had grown and how much you both had grown as parents, he comes over to you and kisses your head as Keaton just giggles as you both smoosh him in a kiss

"well, one year down."

「🍼taglist」: @badomensls @darling-millicent-aubrey @lma1986 @sanchez099 @steh-lar-uh-nuhs @flowery-mess @veronicaphoenix @malerieee @calleyx13

[poppy-in-the-woods]

My Ride or Die - Part 2

Plot: Noah is your husband. Five years ago, he killed a man that was attacking you. The judge ruled that, since he shot him several times after he already had been stabbed by you, it was no longer self-defense. He got twenty years, and that was two and a half years ago. After the conjugal visit for his birthday, you visit him, bringing food and other presents to help him keep warm on cold nights.

Pairing: Noah x Female Reader

Word Count: 2601

Rating: Mature/Explicit

Tags: fluff, bit of angst, convict!Noah, masturbation, mentions of suggestive pictures.

Author’s note: betaed by the amazing @rottingfern. Sorry for the long wait, but you know, life gets in the way of writing sometimes, and I wanted to polish this one as much as I could. Let me know how I did, and hope you enjoy.

It had been exactly a week since you last saw Noah. You definitely needed a bit more recovery before thinking about having wild sex again, the ache between your legs still dully moaning, but you two were happy to see each other nonetheless.

The room was busy with spouses and kids that came to visit other inmates. Noah sat alone as he waited for you, but he quickly rose up when he saw you approaching. You greeted him with a quick hug and a peck on the lips and sat in front of him, putting the bag you were carrying on the bench beside you.

“How are you, my love?” you asked.

“Not bad. Better than most days now that you are here,” he said.

“I brought you some presents,” you said, taking the items out of the bag. “Here’s your sandwich,” you began, pushing it to him. He unwrapped it with an excited smile and began scarfing it down. “Slow down, honey, or it’s gonna hurt your stomach,” you told him.

“Sorry,” he said, chewing slower.

“I also brought you some extra underwear and socks,” you continued, putting the paper bag on the table.

“Nice!”

“The shampoo and deodorant you like…” you listed, taking them out of the bag too and placing them beside the underwear, “and a belated birthday present!” you announced, handing him the wrapped package.

“They let you bring that without opening it first?” he asked, skeptical.

“I told them it was a present, so they did me a favor” you told him, shrugging it off like it was nothing. You knew the schedule of the guard who had a soft spot for you and you fully took advantage of that, though you’d never tell that to Noah. “They ran it through the X-ray machine, with the rest of the stuff,” you assured him.

“No metal file or spoon hidden, then,” he joked.

“No, sorry,” you replied, chuckling as he finished unwrapping the book: it was a hardback copy of High Magick (A Guide to The Spiritual Practices That Saved My Life on Death Row), by Damien Echols. “Don’t take off the plastic just yet,” you whispered. He nodded. “I am sure you will find it a very interesting reading,” you added, in a normal tone.

“Thank you, baby,” he said, taking your hands and quickly kissing your knuckles.

You smiled at him and he smiled back at you, letting go of your hands before the guard could decide that it was too much physical contact and end the visit early.

“How’s it going with that newbie? Did he bother you again?” you asked, trying to make some small talk.

“Nah. It’s all good now, he learned his place,” he replied, finishing the sandwich. He let you clean his mouth with the paper napkin.

“Good.”

“I received your letter yesterday, by the way” he told you.

“They took their sweet time reading it, didn’t they?” you fumed.

“I’m sure the warden loves your prose, and the poems. I certainly do,” he said. “I especially loved the lines that said ‘My heart is a bird/ that every night takes flight/ to you and guards your sleep’, and ‘I dream of your hands around my waist, / your breath on my neck, / your heat inside mine, / and our hearts beating in sync’”.

“I wasn’t too inspired with the rhymes in that last one,” you said, grimacing.

As much as you didn’t feel any embarrassment for the words you wrote to Noah, you didn’t want them repeated to you. Creative writing was an outlet your therapist recommended, as were the dabbles in poetry, but you didn’t fancy yourself a poet. Noah was the poet and the musician, not you.

“By the way, do you need another notebook?” you asked.

You had given him a pretty notebook when he entered prison so he could annotate whatever he wanted, and you knew he had been using it as a sort of journal and to write his lyrics and compose his music. A month before the anniversary of his first year locked up, he had requested a new one. You had bought one with more pages that time. He was on notebook number three now.

“No, I still haven’t filled the last one. I will tell you when I need a new one, but thanks for asking,” he said, smiling. “How are you, baby? How are things at work?”

“I’m fine. Before I forget, I have a new manager now, a lady in her fifties - the old one was fired because Shelly reported him to HR for attempted grooming,” you explained. Shelly was your only underage coworker, a sixteen-year-old girl who was still in high-school. “Anyway, the new one is very nice, and upon learning about you, she told me she has a son in prison.”

“In here?” he asked.

“No, he’s in another facility. He committed tax evasion and had a money laundering scheme going on. He got mixed with the wrong crowd, apparently,” you informed him. “They don’t see each other that much, but she writes him letters every week. She told the whole team that my visitation days are sacred and that if anyone needs a change of schedule, to try anyone else, because I am not available,” you finished smiling.

“I already like her,” he said, containing a laugh.

“She also said you were very handsome ‘despite all that ink’”, you told him, marking the quotations in the air. “She’s kind of old-fashioned regarding tattoos.”

“Tell her I said thank you for the compliment,” he replied. “And that I don’t take offense to her not liking my tattoos.”

“Will do!”

“I have something for you,” he said, taking a square envelope from under his ass. “I recorded it with the boys. I want you to be the first to listen to it,” he said, as you took the CD out of the envelope. You smiled, looking at the title and all the signatures.

“I feel honored, honestly,” you said, immediately putting it in your purse. “I’ll listen to it tonight, though it might take me a while to write an in-depth review.”

“Don’t worry about that, we can wait. The boys send their regards, by the way,” he said.

“Tell them I said hi back. I’m so happy you made friends here! And Nick… well, I am not happy that he is in prison too, but… at least you already had a friend the day you arrived, you know?” you said.

“I was relieved to see a familiar face the first day, I’m not gonna lie,” Noah admitted.

“By the way, I spoke with the lawyer…” you began.

“No,” he snapped, cutting you off.

“But I would just spend two years, and your sentence would be reduced -” you began.

He grabbed your wrists.

“Look at me: we already talked about this, and I won’t let you spend a single day behind bars. I fired the gun, I take the blame,” he said, holding your gaze intently.

“But…” you tried to argue. While you recognized and were grateful for his sacrifice, you didn’t want him to spend so much time behind bars. You thought you were strong enough to endure two years if that meant he got to be free earlier. Why wouldn’t he let you do that for him? You loved him just as he loved you; why shouldn’t you sacrifice in return?

“No buts,” he said, putting a finger over your lips. “I heard what the guards do to the female inmates in prison and I won’t let you go through that to shave five years off my sentence,” he said, finally releasing your hands. “End of discussion.”

 “Okay. I love you so much, Noah!” you said after a pause, on the verge of tears.

 “I love you too, baby. Now, don’t cry! You know I hate to see that here,” he said, and you knew he was right: the crying was best reserved for when no one could see, because any sign of weakness on your part could reflect badly on him. You took a deep breath and smiled at him. “That’s better. Do you have an appointment with your therapist this week?”

“Yeah, this afternoon,” you nodded. You had taken notes to talk to your therapist about his response to your proposal, whatever his response would be, though you didn’t expect him to agree, honestly.

“Good. Tell her I enjoyed the books she recommended.”

“That one is also a recommendation from her,” you said, lightly tapping the Damien Echols book. “The extra material is all my idea, though,” you whispered. He arched an eyebrow, questioningly. “You’ll see.”

Not long after, you had to end the visit. With another quick hug and light peck on the lips, you said goodbye to him. On the way back home, you put the CD in the player of your car and listened to it. The lyrics were so beautiful and his voice sounded so clear, like he was beside you, that you had to pull over to the side of the road for a couple of minutes while you let the tears finally flow.

“Ma’am, are you okay?” a voice asked. You lifted your gaze to find a police officer standing by the side of your car. You rolled down the window and stopped the music. “Are you injured?”

“No, sir, I am fine. I just got emotional and… I needed a moment.”

“I see. What was that band, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Oh! That was Bad Omens; it’s my husband’s band. They’re on Spotify, I think.”

“They sound good, I’ll give them a listen. If you are better now, I suggest you go on your way,” he said.

“Yes, sir. Thank you for your concern.”

Every lawyer you ever spoke to always told you the same thing: if you’re ever stopped by a police officer, be polite and don’t let them know you have a spouse in prison, because they will look at you differently and there’s a chance they won’t be nice to you upon learning that fact.

You continued your way and arrived home in time to prepare a meal for yourself, feed the cat and go to your therapist appointment.

Meanwhile, Noah was in his cell, unwrapping the book from its plastic. He noticed an envelope taped to the back cover. He opened it to find several pictures. Eight of them were of you, recreating some pin-up posters; hot, but nothing that could be considered pornographic. The ninth, tenth and eleventh were more risqué, something that could be classified as artistic nudes, but the twelfth…

He took the picture number 12 in his hands, looking at it closely. It was a close up of your nude chest, focusing on the tattoo over your sternum. Your nipples were not in frame, but he knew your breasts far too well, so he was able to complete that image mentally.

He carefully picked up the other photographs and put them back in the envelope. He then taped this one to the metal frame of the bunk bed above him and slid a hand in his pants. His mind was already racing, conjuring the image of you naked beside him, kissing him and touching him with light fingers.

“This one’s for you, baby” he muttered, stroking his cock.

Not shortly after he was finished, Nick leaned into the cell.

“Dude, what are you doing? We’re waiting for you in the music room!” he said.

“What?”

“Did you forget we scheduled a rehearsal for today?” Nick asked, entering the cell.

“Yeah, sorry…”

“Were you reading?” Nick asked, seeing the book next to Noah. “Is it any good?” he wanted to know, picking it up.

“Give it back!”

But it was too late: Nick had already seen the envelope and was inspecting its content.

“Oh, I see! You weren’t reading, you were jerking off in her honor” he laughed. “To be fair, I also do it in her honor sometimes,” he joked.

“Not funny, bro! Not funny.” Noah replied, snatching the book from him. “It’s my wife you’re talking about.”

“Sorry. Is something wrong between you two?” Nick asked, suddenly serious.

“No. She tried to bring up the appeal, thinks she should take part of the blame,” he said. “I told her she can forget about it, and I hope this time she listens. I understand where she comes from, but I love her far too much to let her do it.”

“And she loves you far too much not to try to convince you,” Nick pointed out.

“I guess so…”

“She does. I mean, she risked flirting with the guy at the entrance to bring you this, didn’t she?” Nick said, pointing at the book.

“What do you mean?”

“Rumor says that if you don’t want something to be too closely inspected, you compliment the guard at the entrance. Works like a charm if you’re a pretty woman, or at least that’s what my cousin said,” Nick told him. “Those pictures? They would probably be considered porn and confiscated. She’s a criminal mastermind, dude.”

“Yeah, sure,” Noah said, amused, but his laughter quickly died on his lips, as the implications of what Nick just told him sank in: you had taken too many risks for him and his pleasure, more than he was comfortable with. He sighed; his beautiful, smart and reckless wife! What was he going to do with you? “You will get out before me. Would you keep an eye on her for me?”

“Sure, dude. She’s my friend too, you know?”

Noah knew you also corresponded with Nick and talked to him on the phone. Past benders aside, you two were close enough for Nick to call you a friend. Knowing his friend, Nick was likely the one to suggest the fiery red lingerie to her as a birthday surprise, and if his suspicion was correct, Noah was very grateful to him.

“Thank you.”

“No need to thank me yet. We’re still both in this shithole, so maybe we could go to the music room now and rehearse?”

“Sure.”

That Saturday, while you were watching a movie, your phone rang. It was a collect call from jail, which you quickly accepted.

“Hey, baby!” Noah’s voice greeted you through the line.

“Hi! How are you? Is everything okay?” you asked, straightening yourself up on the couch. He didn’t seem distraught, but he was in jail after all, you could never be sure.

“Everything is as okay as it can be. I just wanted to hear your voice,” he said. “Oh, I have begun with your present. You were right, it’s a very interesting reading.”

“Did you enjoy the extras?” you asked.

“Oh, yeah! Thank you, baby.”

“By the way, I almost finished analyzing the record,” you told him. “I have the last two songs left and the conclusions, and I will have a full review, song by song.”

“You know you don’t have to do that, right?” he said.

“I know, but I like doing it, and I like to think that my reviews are useful for you guys, you know? To have a listener’s perspective,” you replied.

“Of course they are useful!” he assured you. “I just say it’s not an obligation,” he clarified.

“I know, and it doesn’t feel like it,” you swore.

“Okay. I need to go now, but I love you. Sweet dreams, baby,” he said.

“Sweet dreams, my love! I love you too,” you replied, and he hung up.

The next conjugal visit couldn’t come fast enough.

[zorosjuicymelonsx]

Finding You

A/N: Guys I'm here and I'm so sorry I'm a week late with this. I got a new job after losing mine a few months ago so things have been hectic lately with my schedule. All I can say is sometimes adulting SUCKS but I love money so 😭🤑

A lovely reader on AO3 had helped me realise there was an anomaly with the timeline of how Y/N and Zoro meet and all so I went through it and I thought I would go through this:

Y/N's flashback of Zoro sleeping in the forest in Chapter 3 was when they were 15 so its actually 7 years ago and not 4 years ago. I've edited this and amended the story you tell Zoro slightly in Chapter 5 to correct this so my apologies for not finding this sooner. I wanted to show that she had a crush on him before they officially met after he rescued her in the alley. They then turn 16, graduate school and then Zoro asks her out. They date till 18, get engaged and marry at 19. Zoro disappears a few days after this and you spend the 2, almost 2 and a half years looking for him so he's 21 and your 21.

Its sometime after Wano and Egghead doesn't exist in this "dimension" when you find him in Chapter 1 so they're just cruising right now. I wanted to match the actual One Piece ages he was before and after timeskip.

I hope this has helped clarify if anyone else was confused of the timeline but please do enjoy this chapter. Because of my new job, I'll do my very post to work and post in a timely manner. Thank you for everyones patience and support with me.

Chapter Eight Previous Next “Zoro? You okay?”

“i-I have to go, m’sorry.” 

That was the last thing he said to you a week ago in the Crows Nest. You had gone through every single possible reason for why he suddenly would switch up the way he did which left you nowhere near to a conclusive answer. You were sure you’d done absolutely nothing but at the same time doubted yourself and wondered if you had done something unconsciously. 

Since then, he'd practically been living in the Crows Nest. He never ate in the galley anymore, never came on the deck to hang around with anyone and you weren’t even sure if he was sticking with his once a week baths. Every time you tried to seek him out, you noticed the hint of stress in his face and would walk away in the opposite direction. Thankfully you weren’t the only one who noticed the swordsman's strange behaviour. 

“Marimo is really starting to piss me off, can you believe he’s making me bring his meals to him like I’m some waiter?!” Sanji spat with annoyance as he piled nourishment onto Zoro’s breakfast plate. You knew Zoro wouldn’t have asked Sanji for food, you just understood Sanjis code of ethics when it came to making sure that every member of the crew was properly fed and nourished. You appreciated him for it. 

You were one of the few who remained in the galley after breakfast, sitting with Jinbe and Usopp who were finishing off their own meals. You’d leaned forward to sit your chin on your forearms as you traced the rim of your coffee cup with your finger caught in a net of progressive overthinking of the enigma that was your husband. 

“Has he really not said anything?” Usopp asked Sanji, the cook turning to face them, the plate in his hand piled high in mostly eggs, sausages and toast. 

“Not a word. I swear the algae on his heads really taken over his brain.” Sanji cursed before leaving the galley, chewing on his unlit cigarette. 

“Isn’t this normal for Zoro? I mean he is pretty quiet.” Jinbe asked Usopp. Since Jinbe was the most recent crewmate to join Luffy and the crew before you, it was understandable he would ask. You would have agreed with Jinbe on the fact Zoro was quiet, however, you knew better than to mistake this for just his regular self. 

“When something is bothering him, he shuts down. He avoids everyone, he won’t talk, he’ll just isolate. I just can’t figure out what's bothering him.” You grumbled out before lifting your cup to take a gulp of your coffee. Setting the cup down, you realised you couldn’t hear either of them talking anymore and turned to see them both staring at you with wide eyes. 

“Has he really never done this in front of you guys?” You questioned the gaping pair with a raised brow slightly mocking their owlish stares back. Jinbe shook his head as expected whereas Usopp's gaze drifted off behind you in thought. You assumed he was revisiting his album of memories with the swordsman. 

“Well…there was the time on Thriller Bark when he shut himself away to train but it wasn’t anything like this.” Usopp answered cautiously, his mouth slightly turned down in slight distress.This caught your attention and your heart filled with anxiety. 

“What happened?” You asked, unconsciously frowning. Usopp's gaze refocused back to yours, adjusting himself uncomfortably in his seat as he seemed hesitant to retell the story. Nonetheless, he sighed before clearing his throat to speak. 

“We were on Thriller Bark where we met Brook. Brook was stuck on his old crew's ship and he couldn’t leave because his shadow being taken by the ex-warlord Gecko Moria.”

“Brook has a shadow?” You asked in surprise trying to suppress a laugh. You valued Brook as a crew member despite his panties fetish. Thankfully Nami always stepped in after he asked to put him in his place.

“I don’t even know anymore, ANYWAYS ....we managed to defeat him but another ex-warlord named Kuma came for us.We don’t know what exactly happened because Kuma knocked us out but we know Zoro got really hurt. He was unconscious for a few days after that. I think at the time we underestimated them but knowing him, he blamed himself for not being strong enough.” 

Usopp clarified, his tone laced with guilt. Your heart ached at the idea of Zoro being that severely injured to that extent. You knew he didn’t care as long as he met his goal in the end even if you did reprimand him on his mentality many times over the years you both dated. You had eventually accepted it and you didn’t want to stand in his way.

“Let's just give him space and see what happens.” You spoke assuringly to the two despite your chest hammering with the anxiety of unsurety. 

One Week Later

Two weeks had passed since you last heard Zoro's voice. The patient person you were two weeks ago was buried deep inside and now your patience was wearing thin along with your paranoia running rampant. You couldn’t take the silence anymore and neither could the rest of the crew. 

It was the afternoon and Nami had called everyone in for a crew meeting on deck, including Zoro who had unsuccessfully attempted to blend into the background. Your eyes has locked in on him from the moment you walked in and spotted green. You also saw the obvious attempt he made to avoid looking your way as he chose to focus his gaze on the wall behind Nami. 

‘Just what was so interesting about the wall you fucker?’ You thought to yourself as you leaned back in your chair in observation. 

“Right guys, I called this meeting in because I came across information that there's an island nearby rumoured to have a fuck ton of treasure. We gotta make a game plan.” Nami excitedly spoke, the berries practically beaming out of her eye sockets. Reluctantly, you took your eyes away from Zoro to focus on Nami. 

For about an hour, she went over and planned in detail how to navigate the island, showing you and the others the maps and other sources of information from a book she read detailing the treasure and its history. 

“I also decided that not all of us can go on the island so I’m picking Zoro and Y/N to stay behind on the ship.” Nami added. From the corner of your eye, you noticed Zoro stiffen before clearing his throat to speak up. 

“I’m coming with you guys, have Sanji stay on the ship with Y/N.” Zoro spoke in a low, reserved manner clearly disguising his obvious discomfort towards you. It was the first time you’d heard his voice in two weeks but hearing the words he chose only had you gritting your teeth. You took a deep breath in and decided that at that moment you couldn’t take anymore. 

He had drawn your last straw. 

“Oh Y/N-chan, I’d love to-” You cut off Sanji as you stood up from your seat, the feet of the chair roughly scraping against the floor boards as you paced your steps towards Zoro to now stand strong in front of him. You felt the intense gaze of the others on you but ignored it, the anger you felt overpowered your rationality. 

“Whats your fucking problem?” You spat out as you looked up at him. 

This caught him off surprise. You could see he was trying to shift away from you but you weren’t going to allow him to get out of this. You moved in tandem with him whenever he attempted to get away from you only to have him give up and stay glued to the wall behind him. 

“I ain’t got no problem-”

“Bullshit. You’ve been avoiding me for the past two weeks. In fact, you’ve been avoiding ALL of us.” 

“You’re being dramatic.”

“No I’m fucking not.” You somehow got even closer, your chest practically touching his as you felt his body heat against you. 

“She's really not Zoro, did something happen between you two?” Nami asked cautiously behind you.

“Did I do something?” 

He could see you were frustrated with him and he could see he was only hurting you more than he wanted to. 

‘I’m sorry….’ He thought as he looked at you, the guilt overwhelming him. 

Whilst he didn’t appreciate the questioning from you and the heavy gazes of everyone, he will admit he had isolated himself from you. It wasn’t because you did anything to him personally and it wasn’t because he started rejecting your presence on the ship; by far you'd been patient with him by letting him be. The persistent questioning he got from the others, especially the shitty cook despite being appreciative of him bringing his meals to him only to be met with silence from him only fueled his guilt. Since the discovery of his feelings for you, he felt overwhelmed. Being around you distracted him. He felt the want to be with you but at the same time, his mind shielded him from you as if he was protecting himself from you. He prided himself in being strong minded and he felt frustrated with himself over how he could possibly feel this way when he prided himself in being strong minded. He could only theorise that this mental block with you had to do with the guy who’d wiped his memory. 

‘Was his named Edward? Ethan? Whatever, it didn’t matter.’

He knew he was being a dick by staying away from you but he didn’t know what else to do. The moment he accepted his feelings for you, he’d also accepted what felt like an overwhelming burden in his stomach. He felt panic, a feeling he hadn’t felt in a long time. He left you in the Crows Nest, remembering the feeling of not being able to breathe. This was why Zoro did not do feelings; they were complicated. 

“You didn’t do anyth-”

“Then why have you been avoiding me?” You persistently questioned, the frustration brimming in your eyes. 

“I’m done with this, I’m leaving.” He felt his heart climbing up into his throat with you being so close to him.

“Oh no you don’t, you’re not getting out of this one.” 

You made an impulse decision out of anger. With your free hand, you summoned a hole behind Zoro. You pictured the very island where you spent time training yourself with your devil fruit, knowing it was quiet and you wouldn’t be disturbed. The hole behind him had formed and Zoro had realised too late he was no longer leaning against solid and fell through the smoke of clouds that enveloped him. 

You turned to the others who were gaping at you in shock. Even Luffy stayed glued to his seat with no attempt to jump through the cloud of smoke. 

“I’ll bring him back tomorrow.” You huffed out before going through the hole yourself. 

As you landed in the sand of the island, you looked up to see the hole you summoned. You then looked around to see your surroundings. The island hadn’t changed one bit; the wave of nostalgia hit as you breathed in the smell of the sand and sea, the lingering scent of greenery coming from the forest coming into the mix as well. If you looked around again, you’d be able to find the rock you carved the last date you were here before leaving to continue your search for Zoro. 

You purposefully summoned the hole on the empty side of the island, choosing to leave the small population of habitants to the other side undisturbed. They were peaceful people and had even shared a few meals with you from time to time whenever a few of them found you exhausted from exertion after training. They knew you well and that you didn’t pose a threat, choosing to peacefully coexist with them. 

Once closed, the anger still ever present in your system you looked around to spot Zoro sitting in the sand as he looked around taking his surroundings. 

“Wh-where are-?” 

“You gonna talk or what?” You aggressively asked. 

Zoro was now angry. He didn’t want to fight with you, he just wanted to piece together his feelings and rebuild his courage to be around you. He wasn’t ready to face you and being here with you only made him feel worse.  

He stood up from the sand and stomped over to stand over you, pushing the bile from his thumping heart back down his throat.

“What…the FUCK…were you thinking? Why would you do that? Do you realise without me there, you’ve put the others in danger? Take us back NOW.” 

“First of all, step the fuck back and calm down. Second of all, they’ll be fine. Third of all, were not going anywhere until we sort whatever the fucks gone up your ass and died.” You said as you matched his energy. 

“Fuck this, I’m out.” Zoro refused to admit anything. He couldn’t. He turned away from you and began walking. 

“Roronoa Zoro, come back here now.” You ordered him as you followed behind. 

“No. Piss off.” He called back as he continued stomping. 

“Zoro, stop.” You shouted, your voice almost broke as your anger now turned into hurt. 

“Leave me alone Y/N.” 

“WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?” You now cried out. You couldn’t stop the tears and the lump in your throat as you stared at his back. 

Zoro stopped at the sound of your voice breaking. He frowned at the thought of you upset, his heart ached but he couldn’t turn around. 

“I’m not doing anything to you Y/N. I just need space.” He spoke regretfully before he continued walking again and turned left heading into the forest. You stood still as you watched him walk away.

“Fuck.” You whispered to yourself, taking your palm to rub against your forehead in frustration and then using the back of your hand to wipe your tears away. You hated crying, you’d always felt so weak. No matter how much you try to control it, the tears always win. You decided to sit, digging yourself further into the sand before leaning back to let it envelop you. 

You breathed in, allowing yourself to take in the sound of the waves crashing against the damp sand. You didn’t realise how much you missed being back on land. You loved being on the Sunny, you really did but sometimes allowing yourself to be grounded for a bit always helped. 

You let your hands moved with the sand, feeling the softness of it between your fingers. You clenched the sand into your palms finding the action soothing and allowing the anger you’d felt seep into each particle.

What were you going to do with Zoro? 

————————————- ⚔️✨ ————————————

A few hours had passed and you found yourself waking up from a nap you had unconsciously taken. You noticed the sun was beginning to lower, you predicted you had a few hours left before nightfall. You sighed before getting up from the sand, swiping off the residue of sand that was left on your clothes and turned to face the direction Zoro left you from. You were grateful the island was small and you knew it  wouldn’t take you long to track down the lost swordsman. 

As you were about to start walking, you felt a presence lurking near you. You stiffened before smiling and realising there was more than one and posed no danger. 

“How long have you guys been there for?” You called out. You turned to find a small group of what you assumed were hunters gathering food. The group consisted of three men and one woman. 

“Y/N, are you okay?” One of the male hunters asked. 

“I’m fine don’t worry…you didn’t happen to see a green haired guy with three swords roaming around?” You queried. You didn’t know them personally but you assumed the few that did check in on you when you were training spread the word to the others of your existence.

“He’s sitting by the waterfall.” The female hunter softly answered. You nodded as you brought the memorised path to the area up into your mind to plan out your short walk. 

“Thank you, don’t mind us. We’ll be gone tomorrow.” You promised before you began making your way to him. A short walk through the forest and your feet found you at the beginning of a small lake. As you continued, your eyes caught the waterfall and the blue hues of water falling over into the lake. You looked around and soon enough your eyes caught on a head of green hair. You frowned at his slouched demeanor, noticing his eye was lost in the water and in thought. You took a quick breath in before continuing your walk to now stand near the swordsman. You noticed his body stiffened as you felt your presence before slouching back, his eye not breaking out of his lost gaze. 

“Zoro…I.” 

“Don’t speak.” 

Your mouth closed into a straight line, the words ‘I’m sorry’ stuck at the tip of your tongue. You felt like you stood for eternity but just a few short minutes later and you decided to find a seat on the grass near him. Your eyes followed his and soon enough you were also lost in the water with him. Apart from the sounds of the water crashing into the lake and the gentle calls from the birds in the trees, the angst between the both of you laid thick. 

As you watched the water, you were reminded of how much you missed swimming and the ability to just float. You had thankfully never fallen into the ocean since obtaining your devil fruit but the thought of sinking struck fear in you. You missed the feeling of saltwater soaking into your skin, letting your fingertips wrinkle and allowing your mind to wonder and be free. Sure you were able to shower in non-sea water but it just wasn’t the same. 

Time had passed and the sky had turned into a deep hue of orange indicating the end of daylight. The forest had begun to fill out with fireflies, adding to the ambiance and giving light to where you both sat. You knew you’d have to start a fire and look for food soon but you couldn’t find the will to do so yet. 

You had decided to scoot closer to the edge of the lake, allowing yourself to indulge in the only closeness you can have to water. 

“You ain’t plannin to jump in right?” 

Hearing his voice shook you out of thought, you shook your head to answer his question. 

Zoro had every right to be pissed at you but seeing the sadness in your face made him feel guilty for letting himself behave like a teenager for hours. This was his fault after all but admitted he let his pride get the better of him. 

“Why’re you moping?”

“I’m not moping..I’m just remembering how much I enjoyed swimming and just being in the ocean.” You confessed, pouting and allowing yourself to lean on your hand. 

“I thought you didn’t regret-” 

“I don’t regret anything. I’m allowed to feel sad.” You snapped. 

He allowed silence to fill the space between the both of you for a moment before he made an anxiety-consuming decision that would definitely change everything. 

“You wanna go in?” Zoro softly asked. 

You turned to face him, surprise evident in your face. 

“That's impossible, I’ll just feel weak and sink.” You answered. 

“Not if I’m holding you.” Zoro said. 

“I thought you were avoiding me, now you wanna hold me?” You questioned back. 

“Answer my question; you want to go in yes or no?” Zoro bit back with slight annoyance at you being argumentative. 

You bit your lip to stop yourself from going into a tangent, turning to look back at the water before nodding. 

From seeing your physical consent, Zoro stood up and began to strip. You visibly blushed and let your gaze turn away from him refusing to turn it into ogling. He brought himself into your line of vision as he walked forward and stepped into the water, waiting with his back turned to you at the edge to allow you privacy. You were able to see he was just left in his boxers. You stared for a bit before finding your brevity and beginning to strip until you were just in your underwear and bra. You walked a few steps forward until you stood just behind him but you hadn’t stepped in the water yet.

“Am I okay to pick you up?” Zoro cautiously asked, his back still facing you.

“y-Yeah you can.” 

Zoro turned around, pushing back his raging heartbeat and ignoring the growing heat in his skin before scooping you into his arms bridal style and slowly walking back into the lake until he was halfway submerged. You relished in the warmth of his skin and you hadn’t realised just how much you missed his presence. 

“If it gets too much for you, tell me and I’ll take you back.” Zoro’s voice almost broke. He was currently fighting back the blush that had threatened to consume his wholebeing as he avoided looking down at your naked body. It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen a naked woman before, heck Nami and Robin walked around the ship in practically nothing and it never once bothered him. Seeing you see this way; shy and almost vulnerable gave a completely different meaning to it. He couldn’t fathom anyone else seeing you like this and the mere idea of any man seeing you this way made his skin itch and his temper rise.  

He hadn’t even allowed himself to be consumed in the lust-filled thoughts he had of you since his recent awakening of feelings he had for you. He felt too much respect for you to subject you to his internal needs. He didn’t even know if you both even consummated the marriage before he disappeared but refused to go down the tangent of thoughts surrounding it. 

He slowly began to lower you into the water, allowing the flow of the water to cover your legs and your arms. You gasped at the sudden coolness of the water, immediately feeling the weakness of the ocean consume you. Rather than fighting the weakness, you allowed it to sit as you relished in the feeling of the cool water and Zoro’s body heat. 

“You okay?” 

“Thank you Zoro.” You quietly spoke, grateful to him. 

His concern alone was enough for you to choke on a sob. You were overwhelmed. 

“Why did you avoid me?” You weakly asked, allowing yourself to cry. 

“M’sorry.” Zoro mumbled back as he bit the inside of his cheek.

“I don’t want a sorry…I want an answer.” 

Zoro said nothing. He didn’t know how to confess his feelings to you. He couldn’t even begin to explain or know where to start with talking about what was wrong with him. Seeing you broken hurt him badly and he knew he couldn’t let this go on anymore. 

‘Show her.’ 

A small voice in his head spoke. He frowned at the intrusion of the voice. 

‘Show her how you feel.’ 

He looked down to see you looking back up at him. The yearning he felt to hold you closer, the want to be with you overtook him. 

He decided to listen to the foreign voice, putting his anxiety to one side as he leaned forward and pressed his lips to yours in a chaste kiss.

————————————- ⚔️✨ ————————————

A/N: HE DID IT!!! FINALLY HE KISSED YOU AHHHHHHH 🥳 😭💚

Taglist: @starlightanyaaa @eggrollforyou @rosellerinfrost @qalable

[7-wonders]

I had to get up way earlier than normal today and I was so so sleepy 😴 I remember from one of your older mad love asks that Michael goes to bed a lot earlier than reader, so would he normally get up earlier too? Because damn, some soft kisses on my face as a way to wake me up would be super nice, and he’d be the type to do it I think 🥺

Such a cute idea!! I do think he'd get up earlier than you. It's a habit from his childhood; Grandma very much believed in "early to bed, early to rise," and it just stuck with Michael.

//

On mornings like this, where you have obligations that were scheduled bright and early and against your will, you curse whoever decided that mornings were the preferred time to conduct any sort of business. You are not a morning person, and that's an indisputable fact. The sun rises in the East and sets in the West, Halloween is in October, and you are not a morning person.

On mornings like this, you don't even bother to set your alarm. This may seem risky, especially considering your habit of hitting 'snooze' and going back to bed so that you can blissfully sleep through the blaring of your alarm. But your secret weapon doesn't come from any phone or alarm clock; no, your secret weapon would be your husband, who is, frustratingly, an early bird. You've lost count of the amount of times you've glared at him while trying to wake up or eating breakfast with a blanket wrapped around your shoulders while he waltzes around with a smile and at full alertness.

There's one reason that Michael especially enjoys getting up early for, and it's acting as your own personal alarm clock. For some reason, he finds your grumpiness and unwillingness to leave your comfy bed endearing. You suppose you should be glad that this is the case, and you are—just not in the moment.

Today, you wake up to Michael gently calling your name and his fingers lightly brushing across your face. Instead of opening your eyes, you shut them tighter in retaliation and groan.

"It's time to wake up, baby," Michael says in your ear before moving to kiss your cheek. He follows this up with a kiss on your nose, before moving to your forehead and peppering your brow with more kisses.

"Mm, don' wanna," you mumble, turning and burying your head against Michael's shoulder instead.

"You don't have a choice, unfortunately."

"Yes I do." Finally, you open your eyes and pull back so that you can actually look at Michael, who's already dressed for the day and crouched down next to your side of the bed. "We could fake our deaths and go into the Witness Protection Program?"

Michael laughs. "That seems like a bit of an overreaction."

"I, for one, think it's a perfectly normal reaction."

"That's why I've learned not to trust anything you say until you've been conscious for at least an hour." Michael stands before grabbing your hands and pulling you up to a sitting position. "C'mon. You can't be late, you told me that last night."

You scoff. "I did, didn't I?"

Michael nods. "You did."

"Can I get another kiss for my troubles?"

"You can get all of the kisses..." Instead of kissing you on your pursed lips, he kisses just to the side of your lips. "After you brush your teeth."

That's what finally gets you up and out of bed.

[jiminrings]

478!jk’s definitely the type to have couvade syndrome (aka sympathetic pregnancy: the guy also experiences his wife’s symptoms) and y/n would be so confused 🤔🤔🤔 like huh, i thought EYE was the one carrying???

478: drabble

alternatively, jungkook’s on your team — literally :-)

[ 478 masterlist ]

Jungkook’s your personal security system with the way he insists to tag along to every bullet point you have in your work schedule.

You’re in your first trimester and although it hasn’t been as seamless as you’d like, you manage everyday. You’re not showing either, atleast not yet. The idea of when you should take your leave lingers at the back of your head but you feel that it shouldn’t be now, not when you’re still perfectly able without the bump and the fatigue on your way.

The news of your pregnancy is still under wraps with only your team and a select few people knowing as exceptions, unwilling to publicize anything this early in time.

Jungkook was already protective before yet there’s no term to just describe exactly how he’s grown even more now, a lingering proof of it being his very own chair with his name printed that the production crew had gotten made. If it were up to him, he would’ve also put his name on the call sheet with just how present he is.

“Are you gonna finish that?” he looks at Jimin pointedly, his voice hushed even if there were only a few people in the dressing room. Jungkook tilts his head to the food in front of Jimin, the latter having neglected his meal for a total of five (5) seconds because he was responding to an email.

Jimin remembers setting down his chopsticks two and a half blinks ago, but he doesn’t quite remember how badly he likes the meal with the way Jungkook looks at him inquisitively.

“Uhm, I don’t think so? You can-…” he clears his throat when Jungkook snatches the lunchbox away with a huff, eyes big and frozen. “… have it if you want.”

Without you present in the room, there’s no buffer. Jimin and Jungkook can normally tolerate each other and they even bond, actually. It’s just that there’s something in the air that your manager can’t exactly place with your husband’s attitude.

Jimin accomplishes his email and it barely even took him a minute, but he wishes it took him longer so that he had the time to forget that he doesn’t exactly have a meal to come back to now. Just as he’s about to pick up his chopsticks in reflex, Jungkook scoffs across him, his lunchbox already empty.

“Is there a reason you didn’t finish it?” 

Jimin blinks, perplexed at the whiplash. “You uhm, you asked if I was gonna finish it, Jungkook.”

He knows for a fact that he’s sleep-deprived but Jimin knows exactly what he’s seeing; the sight of Jungkook being pissy with him for no reason at all just makes him want to go look for you to hide behind you.

“I know, and you said I could have it. Why didn’t you finish your lunchbox?”

“Because you asked for it?” he answers unsurely, tugging at the collar of his shirt.

It must be the wrong answer because Jungkook’s eyes narrow even more, crossing his arms. His hair’s longer now but it barely covers up the scowl on his face. “No I didn’t. I asked if you were gonna finish it, not if I could have it,” he enunciates. “You don’t like my cooking, is that it?”

“What? No, no! I-I like your cooking!” Jimin amends, waving out his hands.

“Didn’t seem like it,” Jungkook scoffs, shrugging carelessly, “Yeah, whatever. I woke up extra early just to prepare lunchboxes for my wife’s manager and her friend, but it’s okay,” he snickers. “I don’t care, Jimin. Atleast Yoongi’s fucking that shit up. Look.”

Surely enough, Yoongi’s indeed fucking up the lunchbox that Jungkook prepared, his heavy breaths being heard from across the room because he barely gives himself the time to inhale with how good the food was.

“I care! I love the lunchbox! Thank you so much, Jungkook. Really, I do-…”

Jungkook clenches his jaw, shaking his head slowly in disbelief. Jimin can’t even catch up even if your husband’s face is set on the ground.

“Wow. And I thought you can’t be any more demeaning. God, you expect me to cook for you? Even Y/N doesn’t do this to me. You, you think that I’m just some communal husband that should cook a-and-…”

“Hi, baby.”

Both Jungkook and Jimin perk up at the sight of you, the former being placated now that he has his eyes on you, and the latter utterly relieved because he clearly needs help.

“Oh, hello,” Jungkook beams, grinning up at you. He melts immediately when you hug him from behind and it’s as if he wasn’t annoyed to hell and back with your manager just seconds ago.

Jimin’s speechless. Completely and utterly speechless at Jungkook’s change-up, his words reduced to a whisper directed at you.

“Was it — w-was it something I said?”

You discreetly put your hands over Jungkook’s ears and he doesn’t even notice, your face sympathetic because it’s clear as day that Jimin’s been put into a whiplash. “This couvade syndrome’s only gonna last until the first trimester,” you whisper. “They say it comes back on the third though. Don’t show your face to Jungkook for the meantime.”

You coax Jungkook out of his seat to tell him that your shoot’s done for the day, his head eagerly nodding in understanding.

“Jimin told me he doesn’t like my lunchboxes,” he pipes up, his eyes sly and menacing when he looks back at him briefly. “He also told me that I should go fuck myself.”

“I-..!”

You shut Jimin up with a pointed look, the both of you already knowing that nothing of the sort happened and that Jungkook’s going through it — perhaps significantly even worse than you.

You bite back a chuckle, humming which seems to indulge Jungkook immediately. “Did he now?”

[babygirlbenji]

Hottest D.I.L.F - Pierre Gasly

A/N cat finally published a fic after seven months, who cheered !! anyway this is my first pierre fic and i'm lowkey proud of it ??? sry there's not rly much 'dad!pierre' but maybe it could b a series?? if u know what i mean?? anyway let's get into it!!

It really was not very often that Pierre was home. With his hectic schedule, he was away for days, sometimes even weeks. It was very hard for you, especially when you first got together just over five years ago, but even harder now that you had an 18 month old daughter to think about. 

However, there was no doubting Pierre’s devotion to you and little Amélie. Any chance he got to take his girls to a race and show his baby off to his fellow drivers, he took it with both hands. Amélie had come to be a regular in the paddock, and all the drivers loved meeting and interacting with the little girl. 

When Pierre was home, though, it was like everything that had happened in your lives before you met had led to this exact moment. The laughs you shared, the stories you told, the love you had for both each other and the little human you created… it was like something out of a fairytale. Many happy evenings were shared on the balcony in your home near Nice, Amélie fast asleep in her cot with you and Pierre sharing a glass of wine (for him) and a soft drink (for you, as you were still breastfeeding) only a few metres away. 

One such day, during the summer F1 break, your work day had been… less than ideal. You worked at a high-end restaurant as an events co-ordinator, and your customers were infamous for being very difficult and demanding. You’d spent the first half of the day trying to persuade one client to not use one caterer (who was notorious for either poor food quality or just not turning up at all), and the other half of the day trying to persuade a colleague that a collaboration between the two of you would be highly beneficial. Much to your chagrin, neither venture had gone in your favour. 

Fumbling with the keys to your home, you unlocked the door and kicked your heels off, dumping your bag on the small dresser by the front door. You made a mental note to yourself to check your files at the weekend. 

The house was eerily quiet. Normally, when Pierre was home and looking after Amélie, your home would be vibrant with the giggles of a daughter laughing at her father doing some weird shit, or her bouncing away in her bouncer while he played F1 2022 (while stealing glances every few seconds to make sure she was okay). 

Today, though, the halls were silent. No baby giggles, no goofy dad jokes, and definitely no sounds of pixelated Formula 1 cars. 

‘Hello?’ you whispered. You made your way through the hall, before coming across the sweetest scene you had ever witnessed.

Pierre and Amélie were stretched out on the floor, on her baby mat and below her mobiles (of F1 cars, of course), both fast asleep. She was on her back, arms lazily flopped on the floor above her head, while her father was on his side; he probably fell asleep like that to make sure that she fell asleep before he did, as he hated sleeping on his side. 

You whipped your phone out and took a picture of the scene in front of you, before quietly stepping forward and gently knocking Pierre’s foot with your own. 

‘Oi.’ Another nudge with your foot, slightly harder than the last time. ‘Don’t make me mimic Daniel and yell your name obnoxiously loudly.’ The Frenchman finally stirred, looking around blearily to see who had dared wake him from his slumber. You did feel a bit bad, as the season was a few days away from getting underway again, but you wanted to spend some time with your husband before your daughter woke up from her sort-of-planned nap. 

‘Bonjour, amour,’ he mumbled as he got up to wrap his arms around you. ‘Good day?’ You shrugged, relishing his embrace. Your head instinctively rested on his chest and you let out a contented sigh. 

‘Typical rude customers, typical crusty old boss. What else is new?’ Pierre chuckled. He broke apart from the embrace slightly to cup your face with his hands. 

‘Quit. I’ll support you.’ You made a face. 

‘I’m grateful for the offer but you know I like being independent.’ 

‘Go part time at least.’ It was indeed tempting, and you had thought about reducing your hours, but that was a conversation and a decision for another day. Right now, you had a husband to catch up with and dinner to make together. You stood up on your tiptoes to give him a gentle kiss. 

‘I’ll think about it. What do you want for dinner? We’ve got some lasagne leftovers, or I can do a pasta bake with something, or we could order in, or…’ Your sentence was interrupted by your daughter stirring on her floor mat, obviously recognising her mother’s voice. ‘There’s my little star, how are you, Ammy?’ 

As Pierre watched you pick up your baby and hold her close to your chest, his heart swelled with love for his girls. He had known since the moment he met you that you were the one for him, but there were several moments that stuck out to him in which he knew that he was going to spend the rest of your lives together, and one of those moments was six months before he proposed to you, when you had just given birth to Ammy. 

‘Je t’aime, amour,’ he whispered to you. Your eyes met and you shared a sweet smile, before your attention returned to Amélie, who had started fussing. 

‘Bonjour, my little petal, how are you?’ You gently lifted her out of her bouncer and into her chest. She giggled at the attention from her mother, playing with your hair with her tiny fists. ‘Ow, ow, darling, that hurts.’ Though your words could have come across as scolding, your gentle laughs as she figured out the texture and waved your hair around negated the slight pain as she pulled the strands from your scalp. 

Pierre watched, completely transfixed by his two favourite girls. He’d always wanted kids, especially a daughter, but this was a million times better than what he had ever imagined. 

After you had had dinner on the sofa watching a new season of Below Deck, you tucked Amélie into her cot and put her little nightlight on. You said your usual goodnights to her, as you gently kissed her soft baby hair on the top of her head. She smelled of her baby lotion, of vanilla and fresh laundry. It was one of your favourite smells. 

‘Goodnight, my angel, mama and papa love you so much. Sleep tight.’ You closed the door as quietly as you could. 

‘Amour, where are you?’ Pierre’s voice chimed in from your master bedroom. 

‘Just coming, darling, I’m just down the hall,’ your voice softly echoed down the hall. Pierre was always the protective type, especially when you joined him in the paddock, but since you had Amélie, his protectiveness had grown tenfold. If you were just at home, though, it was probably just him being a clingy bastard (not that you really minded). 

You joined him in the huge four-poster bed, snuggling into his side. It was moments like this you missed the most; just you and him, alone from the world and having some time to yourselves. You loved Amélie, of course you did, but every couple needs time just for each other. 

‘Would you prefer it if I was here more?’ Pierre’s question made you sit up and look at him, bemused.

‘What do you mean, babe?’ He shrugged.

‘I’ve just… I’ve been thinking about it and maybe it’s time for me to quit F1.’ Your face must have conveyed how shocked you were at this revelation, because he ploughed on. ‘Well, Amélie’s getting older, I don’t want to miss any more than I have, and I can always do reserve driver positions for teams or be a pundit like JB. I have three driver’s championships now, I doubt I’ll be short on offers. Plus I can be the hot… hot… what do you say? About JB?’ You started giggling when you realised what he meant.

‘DILF, babe, and you’d be the hottest DILF in the paddock. But it’s not a decision you have to make right away.’ He nodded, accepting the fact that you were both tired and needed some rest. Like you said, it wasn’t a decision that needed to be made right away. All you needed to do know was bask in each other’s company, safe in the knowledge that all the two of you would ever need is each other. 

[redbullcateringfiction]

Chapter 6 -

Cantata

Arabella is the executive assistant for Mercedes Team Principal Toto Wolff. 10 years into her career, it looks like the tide is changing, and she's beginning to question her relationship with him. Is it something more, or nothing but an idea lingering in her head?

F/M, Fluff, Boss/Employee Relationship, Romance, Pining, Love, Slow Burn

Sixth chapter below the cut or click here for AO3

Click here for the previous chapter on Tumblr, and click here for a list of all chapters

(Total: 26637 words thus far)

Apologies for the long wait. Life happens, as I'm sure people know.

~redbullcateringfiction

I looked at myself in the mirror. The flight sleeping had taken its toll on me and I certainly looked more tired than I felt. I quickly threw on a light concealer. Just enough to make myself look less tired, but not enough to be wearing an obvious amount of makeup. I pulled my hair up, and then pulled it down, evaluating the two options, when suddenly there was a knock on the door. I opened it just a crack, and there stood Toto.

“Toto, cell phones exist,” I sighed, swinging the door open fully.

“I’m old school. If I can walk a short distance and get an in person conversation, I will,” Toto answered.

“Meh. Fine, what is it?” 

“Where did you want to go for dinner so I can set up a reservation?” Toto asked. 

“Oh…well there’s some amazing Arabic restaurants here. It’s rarely a food I can enjoy, so I would love it today,” I smiled.

“Excellent. I think there’s one on the pool deck.”

“On the pool deck. In this weather?” I asked.

“How do you mean? It looks a bit dim out, but nothing more than that.”

“Dust storm is coming,” I explained. “Here, come on in.”

“Oh, alright,” He nodded as I opened the door. 

“Take a look out the window,” I explained, walking towards the window with him. The floor to ceiling windows provided a perfect opportunity for me to explain. 

“There’s no wall of dust on the horizon. Not yet. But those aren’t normal thunder clouds. The sky isn’t dim because the cloud is blocking the sky, and that cloud isn’t brown because the sun is setting. That particular cloud is filled with dust,” I explained. Out on the horizon, you could see the towering, mountainous thundercloud. It was filled with desert sand, and I could only imagine the havoc it was leaving behind it. Here though, it was normal. For Arabs, the desert conditions are the only way life functions. 

“Interesting. Will it clear out by tomorrow?” Toto asked.

“No chance. It won’t clear out until at least tomorrow night,” I explained.

“Bad for the track. Bad for the cars. Worse for testing,” Toto sighed learning back.

“Don’t worry. I scheduled a meeting with Aero for tonight.”

“Then we better get dinner now and not later,” Toto said, smiling and turning around. I chuckled. 

“I guess that’s the only thing we can do until the meeting.”

“Well, then, there’s another Arabic restaurant on the 5th floor,” I answered.

“Indoors?” Toto asked, walking towards the door. He chuckled at his own joke. 

“No, no. It's completely outdoors. In fact, it's actually in the dust storm,” I smiled back.

“So sarcastic,” He mocked, holding the door for me as we walked towards the elevator. 

~

“A celebrity, Arabella?” My aunt asked, as my sister, Farah, took a bite of her hummus. She dipped a cucumber in it with a smirk on her face. She knew very well where this was going.

“I’m not really a celebrity. I mean, don’t get me wrong, we’re better off than most bands but we’re not Def Leppard or anything,” Cathal explained, smiling. I shot him a look. His huge blue eyes looked at me and got giant. I could tell he was desperately searching his brain for what he had done wrong. 

“Well if our cousins knew who you were without me even having to say ‘music,’ I’d say you’re a celebrity,” My aunt smiled. The room was quiet. Practically silent, in fact. I watched as my Farah’s husband, Mehdi, brought in another bowl of hummus. My sister had practically devoured the first bowl of hummus. It had been her number one pregnancy craving. At least, that’s what I found out half an hour ago.

“Auntie…he’s just humble I guess,” I smiled.

“I wouldn’t go that far. I’ve definitely got some cockiness,” Cathal chuckled. I shot him another glance. I knew something dumb was about to come out of his mouth. This time the eyes were small and just as searching. He brushed his blonde hair out of his face. It desperately needed to be cut, but he swore it looked good.

“Vanity is a sin,” My aunt answered. “That’s why you should be Muslim.”  I watched as Farah nearly spit out her food with laughter. I watched as the reasoning slapped Cathal in the face. He grinned through gritted teeth as my aunt left the room, making her excellent impression. 

“I’m…I’m gonna run to the bathroom,” Cathal told me, quickly running off. My sister looked at me, and then at her husband before they both burst out in laughter. 

“You’ve got some nerve bringing a little white boy who makes music about so many things a strict Muslim aunt hates to Marrakech,” Mehdi snarked. 

“Oh, be nice. White boys have always been her type. Since France, at least,”  Farah laughed. 

“Alright, alright. I get it,” I sighed, putting my head in my hands. 

Nour took a seat next to me. My brother. 

“You know, the whole boarding school thing isn’t very funny,” Nour said, dipping his carrot into the hummus. “Just because you were the only one to not get shipped off, Farah, doesn’t mean you’re better than us. You’re just the golden child.”

“For a reason,” Farah shrugged. There are 4 of us. Nour is the oldest, 12 years older than me. Then, he’s followed by my brother Chadi, who’s 7 years older than me. Then finally, my sister Farah, only 3 years older than me. And then, there’s me. The youngest. I had barely had a chance to know Chadi and Nour. Nour was already at boarding school by the time I was born. Chadi wouldn’t go till I was 5, but had disappeared all the same one day. Honestly, none of us even really knew where Chadi was or what he was doing. All we knew was that he wasn't dead because Nour would sometimes send pictures of Chadi he had found online or through their mutual friends. The only reason we knew where Nour was, is because he makes a point to show up at holidays completely randomly, with no rhyme or reason. Every time though, he made a point to defend me against Farah and her antics. Too bad there was no tie between us. We hadn’t even met till I was 18. He had apparently been coming home already for 2 years at that point after he graduated from University. But I hadn’t been there.

Farah stood up and left the room, taking her husband and the hummus with her. 

“That one’s a raging bitch,” Nour sighed. I watched as he cracked a beer under the table and poured it into an opaque cup.  “Do you want one?”

“God, fuck, yes,” I said handing him the cup under the table. 

“I’ll do you one better,” He said. I watched as he took out a bottle of vodka and poured a good amount into the cup. 

“That’s way more than a shot,” I whispered.

“It’s what you need,” Nour answered. He handed it back to me and I took it right back. He took the cup back and poured the beer into it. As soon as he managed to put the bottles back into his bag, Auntie walked by again.

“That better not be alcohol, Nour. It’s haram,” She ordered him.

“It's not, Auntie. It’s Barbican,” he smiled. 

“Good, good,” She nodded as she left the room.

“Cathal seems nice, Bella,” Nour smiled. I cringed at the shortening of my name. However, he barely knew me despite being my brother. I had to forgive him. 

“He is. He’s honestly a sweetheart,” I smiled. 

“I didn’t say all that. He’s nice,” Nour warned. I narrowed my eyes.

“What does that mean?” I asked.

“I personally really like storms, Bella. I like the thunder rolling in. I like the rain pouring down. I like the way the sky grows gray and watching the cars quickly turn on their fastest wipers. I really like storms. I find them nice. Nevertheless, I know that they’re chaotic. I get the sense you also find chaos nice,” Nour explained, taking a sip out of his cup. 

“I don’t,” I answered. “I like structure.”

“Really? Or do you like managing chaos?” He asked. Cathal quickly rounded the corner. 

“Hi, did I miss anything?” He asked, pulling out his chair. 

“Nothing serious,” Nour smiled at him. 

~

I looked at Toto, watching as his eyes scanned the menu. “I don’t eat Arabic food frequently,” He struggled. I couldn’t help but chuckle slightly.

“I’d recommend the chicken machboos. It’s the national dish of Bahrain,” I smiled. 

He looked up at me, his eyes finally parting from the menu for the first time since he had gotten it. “Is that what you’re eating?” He asked. I nodded. He took a deep breath and set the menu down. “Then sure, sure.”

We sat there awkwardly for just a moment. While yes, we had developed a friendship over our years of working together, it could never quite outweigh our working relationship. It made it slightly difficult to actually communicate at times like this. That is to say, moments where our working relationship was the reason why we were together, but the event itself was much more casual than one might assume. 

“How was the flight for you?” Toto asked. 

“Sleepy,” I answered. He smiled. 

“I know. You fell asleep so soon after take off. You always get cold so soon before me that I figured if I knew it was cold, you would be shivering when you woke up,” He explained. Quite a few car rides with Toto had featured me pulling on my sweater as he reached to roll down the window. He would always apologize profusely, but seeing him sitting there with sweat pouring down his brow, I would always tell him it was fine to roll the window down. He would hesitate, but I would tell him I was perfectly warm with my sweater. 

“So, that’s why you got me a blanket?” I asked. 

“I was surprised Bono hadn’t already,” He shrugged. 

“I thought it had been him when I woke up,” I answered. While Toto and I generally had very different interpretations of temperature, Bono and I were one in the same. “Was he not cold?”

“No, not really. He hadn’t noticed it,” Toto answered. “But he had on many more layers than you.”

“The same as you?”

“Yes…Is this an interrogation about a decision to get a blanket for my assistant?” Toto asked, raising his eyebrow.

“It’s conversation,” I answered, mocking his earlier shrug. 

“No, no. You’re questioning me. You can’t sass your way out of this one, Arabella,” He leaned in.

“I absolutely can, and I will,” I laughed. “I was just curious. Bono is usually cold, and you’re usually warm. It just struck me as strange that Bono didn’t think it was cold. I’m not saying you can’t get me a blanket as I’m knocked out. I’m just saying it’s weird Bono didn’t think it was cold easily an hour before you.”

“Well he was right next to the window. Maybe the sun was keeping him warm,” Toto shrugged. 

“Were you not?” I answered.

“Arabella…” He warned. “People can be cold and warm at different times.”

“Alright, alright. Dropping the curiosity.”

He leaned back as I, myself, backed off. I could see the smirk on his face.

“No, no. Now you think you won,” I argued.

“It’s not an argument, Arabella. No winners, no losers,” He laughed.

“Then why the smirk?” I responded.

“Nothing. I smirk.”

“For no reason?”

“Sometimes.”

“Liar.” 

He was saved by the bill as the waiter wandered over, bringing with him a tray of vegetables and hummus. We ordered our same dishes and he walked away. I kept my head down, looking at the vegetables I was trying to pick. Just barely within my sight, I could see Toto looking at me still smirking. I could pick my head up and catch him in the act or I could drop it. I’m quite pushy…but I dropped it. 

“Besides bullying me, what are you planning to do during testing tomorrow?” Toto asked. 

“I’m going to be in the garage with you. Too many people running around, and too much business to handle to be anywhere else,” I answered. 

“Ah right. You have your phone off mute so the engineers can harass you into passing around the messages they could easily speak over the headset?” He asked.

“Absolutely not. They’re all on notice. During race weekends, they can only text me if for some reason they can’t find someone, but only if they’ve checked absolutely everywhere. If they haven’t, call them over the headset and see if they respond. Otherwise, fine, I’ll take a look. They’ve probably got themselves on the wrong radio channel.”

“Good, good. I’m surprised they haven’t gotten around to asking you to help with the pit yet, all they ask for,” Toto answered. He brushed his hair around with his hand, trying to get an idea of what it looked like with just his hand. I went into my purse and took out a makeup mirror, and passed it to him. 

“There wouldn’t be any time even if they wanted me to. Half the time I’m running around replacing headsets, alerting people of strategy changes that they have yet to notice, and delivering small things I usually carry for myself and you to random people. I’ve lost so many hair ties over the years,” I sighed. “That won’t change. The only thing that will change is the other half of what I usually do. Find people because they don’t want to clog up the headset. But that’s why there’s other radio channels.”

“Perhaps this is my fault,” Toto began, messing with his fingers. “Maybe we shouldn’t be talking about work?”

“Honestly, it’s the only thing going on in my life,” I shrugged. “Not much else for me.”

“Certainly I’m devoted to work, but I also keep a healthy personal life,” Toto stared at me. His eyebrow raised, implying that no actual question was needed. 

“I have no children and my family is irritating. I keep to myself. Don’t worry. I enjoy life,” I explained.

“You don’t need children or family to have a personal life. Friendships exist, and they’re quite fulfilling.”

“I know. I just don’t make friends very easily.”

I wish I had just been lying to end the conversation faster, but it was true. I have Bono. I apparently have a lawyer who I didn’t have a very good date with. But I don’t have much else outside of that. Even if I wanted to be generous and call Toto a friend, I would still only have 3. And none of them are women. Don’t get wrong, men and women can be friends. Any other perspective on that is silly. Nonetheless, there is something special about friendship with women. Over the years, I had tastes of it. Just brief fleeting exchanges with drunk girls in bathrooms, or coworkers like Marie who I shared some details with. Never anything longer term or more than amicable. Friendship between women, I had noticed, was so intimate. 

I could easily recall my mother’s friends showing up in the evenings on the weekends. Sipping wine while discussing things about their relationships. I learned things about my parents’ relationship that I never would’ve known by pretending to sleep on the floor. My mother would go on, and on, and on about every little thing from the books she read to the bills she paid. Her friends would listen attentively, taking a genuine interest, and then go on about their own similar stories. I would lay there on the floor, and at some point, genuinely fall asleep to their stories. 

I had yet to maintain a friendship like that. My relationships with women have often been shallow, and frequently, that was my fault. Most of my friendships have been shallow, actually. I will ignore the request to hang out, or them asking me to lunch. I would rather read a book and never discuss it, keeping the details to myself.

“I doubt that. You’re friendly.”

“Am I?” I raised an eyebrow. 

“When you want to be,” He smiled. I laughed at the comment.

“No, no. You’re right though. It’s more the keeping of friends that I struggle with,” I explained. He nodded. 

“It's not easy,” He shrugged. I looked at his hands as he again fixed his hair, like a nervous tick. Again, I found myself lingering for too long on his appearance. His dark hair, his darker eyes, his angled smile, and…everything. I felt myself getting hot and quickly looked down at my own hands. How have I gotten here? In this situation? I couldn’t help it, but I also couldn’t ignore it. It’s one thing to know someone’s attractive, and it’s another thing to be attracted. I am attracted to my boss, but thank God I’m smart enough to not act on it. There’s some lines that can’t be crossed, and this is one of them. 

“Hot in here?” Toto asked. 

“Huh?” I nearly fainted. I wiped my forehead. 

“You’re quite red. Here.” He poured a glass of water out of the pitcher for me and I quickly emptied it. I wasn’t red from attraction, I was red from embarrassment. I wasn’t hot from the crush, but from the anxiety of being found out. 

“Yes, it’s a little hot,” I groaned. 

“And I’m cold. People can be cold and warm at different times. Strange, isn’t it?” He smirked.

“Oh my God,” I sighed, pouring another glass of water for myself. “Did you really just do that?”

“I did, yes. You can’t win every time, Arabella.”

It didn’t happen frequently, but sometimes, Toto would win our minor arguments or discussions. They were always silly conversations, but nevertheless, I didn’t like to lose even the silliest of conversations. So, whenever he managed to just barely one up me enough to collect his own win, it always felt like I had just gone all in and Toto played a royal flush.

“You’re funny,” Toto smirked while staring into my eyes. “I can see those gears turning.”

“No gears. Empty,” I said, tapping my head.

“Empty? Never,” He shook his head. He wasn’t wrong, unfortunately. It is a bit like a hamster on a wheel here. 

“If only it were sometimes,” I complained.

“Anxious?” Toto stared at me. 

“Always,” I tried to giggle it away. He didn’t seem to receive it well. Damn Austrians and Germans. They joke when they want to and look at you like you’re crazy when you do. I had a desire to explain but I simply shut my mouth and waited for the awkwardness to fizzle out. It didn’t though.

“No, no. Explain,” He waited. “Well, actually, you don’t have to. Just, if there’s anything I can do, explain what it is.”

There is nothing he can do. Nonetheless, I get the sensation that if I say that he won’t believe me. And then if I explain, he’ll feel like he forced it out of me. I don’t mind explaining right now. It feels like finally the somewhat appropriate moment to do so. But nevertheless, I don’t want to. I fiddled with my hands for a moment before opening my mouth.

“I have agoraphobia. I cope with it pretty well, mainly by having this job so I am rarely in a place for too long. If I’m in a place for too long, it starts to feel too similar to home and I have to get out,” I explained. “I just deal with it. No big deal.”

“That seems like a big deal. It literally affects every aspect of your life,” He raised his eyebrow.

“No, it really isn’t. It’s a background thought. The anxiety is too. It’s not something that is destroying my life. I just find it a bit difficult to settle down once I get going.”

“Ah,” He replied. “Does it bother you?”

“No, not really. Like I said, I’ve learned to cope. I’ve learned my methods, and I’m happy with them.”

“Then that’s all that matters,” He affirmed. “You’re happy, then I’m happy for you.”

I watched as the food got brought. It smelled of saffron and immediately gave me a comforting wash of emotions. 

“Wait a moment,” Toto interrupted my moment. “Surprise parties. Do you hate those?”

I raised my eyebrow until I realized he was concerned about the agoraphobia and surprise parties. 

“No, I quite like them actually. A well planned party is enjoyable no matter how it’s presented. So long as the room isn’t filled to the brim with people, that is,” I laughed. It quickly turned into a chortle. I couldn’t help but find his concern…cute? Adorable? Funny. It was funny. “Wait a moment-”

“No further questions.”

“A surprise party?”

“No further questions, Arabella,” He demanded. “Eat your food. Smells good. Eat it.”

“The audacity of you to think I’ll do as I’m told,” I smirked. Too far, Arabella. Too far. Was that flirty? I was trying to be snarky, but the line is thin. I watched as Toto raised his eyebrows, and then as they settled back down on his face. I felt my heart beat out of my chest as he opened his mouth to speak.

“Trust me, I do not think that,” He answered, leaning in towards me. I watched as he poured more water into my glass. “I know it, in fact.”

“Know what…exactly?”

“Up to you to figure out,” He taunted, taking the first bite of his food. The tension implored me to take the first bite of mine as well. The first bite was delicious but tainted by the sensation of confusion and worry taking me over. All these years of being an adult had just gone out the window. Suddenly, like a middle schooler, I sat trying to analyze his tone and his words. As if I had never learned English and was translating from a dictionary. No, stop. You’re thinking too much, Arabella. I could practically hear Jeffrey in my head laughing at the way I could no longer tell the difference between tension and tension. 

“It’s good,” I coughed, pointing at the food, and trying to cut the tension.

“Mmhmm,” He mumbled, pulling the metaphorical rope tighter. I stared back down at my food, and continued to pick at it as I waited for him to jump in. It was his prerogative. He didn’t, like he was relishing the feeling. 

“Alright, Toto,” I began. He shot his head up, and made eye contact with me. He might be enjoying the tension, but I am not. I will do what I know how to do best. “The meeting with Aero, it better be at 8pm considering that at 6pm you have a meeting with Lewis’s team and at 7pm you have a meeting with Bottas’s team. These are just about scheduling so they may run short, but I’ll be there to ensure you don’t commit anything silly. Regardless, I hope you didn’t double book yourself. Lewis’s team can be flexible but no later than 7. Then we would have to reschedule with Bottas’s team. And you know they can be much less flexible.”

He stared at me for a second, almost in disbelief. ‘Yes, Toto. Your refusal to end the tension means that you must now discuss work. Yes I have just done that to you,’ I thought.

“I scheduled it for 8:30 since Aero is running around till then. No worries,” He answered.

“Great, I’ll add it to the book. Do you think we can squeeze a strategy meeting between 8 and 8:30? Some of the other engineers can stay through the Aero meeting in case there’s lingering concerns,” I explained.

“Do we need another strategy meeting?” Toto questioned.

“Always,” I answered.

“Fine.”

“Good, let me send out an email,” I smiled, taking out my phone. I quickly typed up to the email, after doing a quick check to make sure that time was free for every team.

“Now that my schedule’s handled-” He began. 

“No, oh no. Never is, is it? A few more things,” I blurted, as I began to go over everything for the upcoming weekend.

~

“Oh, a Mercedes team member?” The man behind me spoke. I turned around. He looked vaguely familiar. 

“Yeah, yeah,” I answered, grabbing the coffee as it came ready. It was my own, as I’m certainly no coffee runner. I went to add cream, but paused deciding if I needed, or even wanted it. I had gotten into the habit of drinking it black, but sometimes I desperately wanted something sweet and would find myself adding spoonful after spoonful of sugar. Cream certainly meant I would be adding sugar.

“Engineer?” He asked, waiting for his own coffee to finish brewing. This little room behind the paddock was actually a space for the media, but with a coffee maker and pastries floating around, of course we had all wandered our way into here. It wasn’t particularly nice, but the desire for coffee typically overwhelmed any interest in design.

“Oh. Uh. No,” I shook my head. I closed the lid deciding against the cream.

“Then what?”

“Background things,” I shrugged. “Sorry, nothing really interesting about it.”

“Doubt it. You work for my favorite team,” He laughed.

“Sorry, no really. I don’t do anything interesting,” I smiled. “But uh…if you hang around here a little longer, you’re sure to run into someone interesting.”

“No, no! I think I have. Background things? Like what?” He asked. I sighed, before finally looking him up and down. No pass, no uniform. Did he even work here? How did he get past the gate to this area? 

“Sorry to ask. Are you a fan? You shouldn’t be back here,” I explained. I felt a hand come across my shoulder. I turned and saw one of our engineers, Percy. 

“Celebrity,” He whispered, before going to pick out a pastry. So, regardless I had to entertain him or risk him calling me or the entire team out in the media for being ‘rude’? Great. 

“No, no. I don’t work here. They let me through, though,” The vaguely-familiar-celebrity  answered. 

“Oh…alright. Well, there goes an engineer. If you want to chat with them,” I gestured towards Percy.

“I can read all about that later. I’m curious about the background stuff now. Sorry, let me introduce myself,” He said, stepping towards me. He reached out his hand. “Cathal. Uh…Lynch.”

“Oh, nice to meet you, Cathal,” I shook his hand. Off the top of my head, his name wasn’t familiar. Matching the name to the face didn’t help at all. I genuinely had no clue who this man was. As many celebrities as I run into back here, I usually recognize them. Him, though? No clue. 

“I can see the gears turning in your head. I’m uh…a singer. For a band. Not a big one though. I’m here with the band we’ve been opening for.”

“Oh? What band is that?”

“Blur. They’re performing after the race tonight. Congrats on the win by the way. Lewis’s 3rd right?” He asked.

“Yes, yes. We’re thrilled. It’s uh…it’s nice to have someone on the records.”

“Sitting pretty next to Senna is not something many can claim,” Cathal nodded. 

“Precisely.”

“Well, do tell me more about this background work you do. I’m very curious,” He said, finally grabbing his coffee.

“I’m a personal assistant. Really. Just background work, I swear,” I nodded. Maybe he would drop it?

“For a driver? That’s awesome!” He cheered. “Flying around with Lewis Hamilton and Nico Rosberg then?” I suppose I’m not getting out of this then.

“Well yes, but I’m not the driver’s personal assistant. I’m Toto Wolff’s,” I explained. 

“That’s even cooler. So you’re really right on the front lines then. You tell the driver’s what to do and keep them in line, huh?” Cathal asked. “No, wait, you must tell Toto what to do then.”

“No, no. No telling anybody what to do. I’m just an assistant. I help to manage the absurdity. Nothing more really.”

“You should get on that then. I bet it’d be awfully fun to tell that German bastard what to do,” Cathal laughed. “Oh, sorry. That’s your boss. I’m sure he’s a real nice bastard.”

“He is,” I laughed back. He’s quite funny isn’t he? And a little cute, I’m tempted to say. The blonde hair, the absolutely gorgeous and huge blue eyes, and a bit boyish in his face. Maybe I don’t really mind him having stopped me. At least he’s attractive. Afterall, I’m 24 and single. Perhaps…no…no way. He’s a celebrity and I’m really nobody. 

But as the conversation continued I started ot get the sensation that maybe he wasn’t just interested in my job. Maybe he was interested in me. The way he smiled. The way he leaned in. Eventually, as he watched as I brushed my hair behind my ears and commented on how pretty it was, I felt settled in my feelings. As he put his number in my phone, I felt a little cheerier than I could rationalize. He’s probably just looking for a one night stand for tonight after his show. Nothing more.

Tag list: @daddyslittlevillain, @littleheaven

[starlitmark]

Pairing: dad!Seonghwa x mom!reader

Genre: fluff

Rating: PG

Warnings: parenting, mentions of pregnancy

Word Count: 1k

Note: I know this was meant to be uploaded on Sunday but I got pretty sick then traveled for a whole day so we’re getting it today instead. Happy late Father’s Day!!

It was rare you actually got to sleep in with a toddler in the house. So when you wake up with the sun in your eyes and a faceful of your husband’s hair you’re pleasantly surprised. When you try to roll over to look at your phone he groans but you manage to turn enough to check the time, 8:48 am, honestly not bad considering your daughter normally is awake and ready to run around by 8am. The moment you pull too far away you feel Seonghwa’s arms wrap around your middle and tug you back to his body. He whined something unintelligible and you just giggled and cuddled back into the crook of his neck. Your fingers run through his long black locks and he makes a noise of appreciation.

“Are you ready to wake up yet?” you question softly.

He mumbles something that sounds like a ‘no’ and holds you tighter. You giggle at him and continue playing with his hair. Just as you notice him starting to fall back to sleep you hear a small knock on your door. You knew your daughter was on the other side of the door waiting for you.

“Seonghwa let me up.” you gently pat his arm.

“No, let me hold you.” he groans, voice still very riddled with sleep.

“Let me go get Eunji and then we can all cuddle together for a little bit.” you compromise.

He groans again but lets you go. He may act like he’s annoyed by the suggestion but it’s quite the opposite, he loves having your daughter stuck between you early in the morning. It’s an easy way to get family time together but also keeps the morning rather peaceful, unlike the days when he runs out the door to get to schedules on time.

The moment you open the door your eyes fall down on your small daughter. Her eyes look slightly watery immediately setting your ‘mom instincts’ off. You pick her up and hold her close to you, standing still for a moment you just hold her.

“Are you okay baby?” you question softly, rocking back and forth in your place.

She nods shortly, “Just want to cuddle with you and daddy.” she admits.

Smiling at her request you put her down and usher her towards Seonghwa (who is still not awake fully yet). You follow after, climbing back into your side of the bed. Your eyes follow Eunji’s head of hair as she finally makes it to her dad’s side of the bed. Her small hand reaches to grab onto something, anything, to help her climb onto her dad. Seonghwa jokingly pretends to be fast asleep still while Eunji tugs on his arm repeatedly. You giggle watching the interaction between them and smile brightly when you hear a surprised squeal from your daughter. Seonghwa had suddenly wrapped an arm around her and pulled her up onto the bed. Quickly wrapping his arms around her, she smiles brightly at her father, the rays of the sun gently shining on both of them.

“Did you sleep good, baby?” he smiles.

She nods at him, “I didn’t like waking up on my own though,” she pouts, “like when daddy wakes me up.”

“Yeah? What about when mommy gets you?”

“I like that too!” she enthuses.

Despite her burst of energy she tucks her face against Seonghwa’s neck and makes the noise she always does when she’s sleepy. Seonghwa smiles sweetly at her and starts rubbing her back in soothing motions. You get comfortable next to them and rest your head by his shoulder, hopefully avoiding disturbing your daughter in any way. It’s odd that she’s still sleepy when it’s just past 9am but you won’t fight it. Your only worry is that it might interfere with her nap time.

“I think coming to practice with me yesterday really tired her out.” Seonghwa jokes quietly.

“Probably,” you smile, “she loves going though. The more time she has with you the happier she is.”

“She loves you a lot too.” he reassures

“I know, she’s very much so a daddy’s girl though.”

“Yeah, she is.” he muses, “I really wish I was around more often, I feel bad leaving you girls home when I go on tour or something.”

“You should give us more credit. We’re strong girls.”

“I know you are.” he chuckles, placing a kiss on your head.

You reach up and start playing with his hair. Your daughter lightly snoring in his ear, he’s made it clear on many occasions though that he doesn’t mind it. It just lets him know that she’s sleeping peacefully. You both stay quiet for a while just looking at each other and enjoying the peaceful morning. The rays of the sun still beat down on him gently and you can’t help but think about how ethereal he looks like this. First thing in the morning, no makeup or hair styling done. Just smiling with your daughter happily sleeping on his chest, he looks the most beautiful in these moments in your opinion.

“Hwa,” you whisper.

“Yeah, baby?” he responds immediately.

“How do you feel about another one? I love Eunji more than life itself but still, what do you think about another baby?”

“Anything with you and I’ll be the happiest man alive or dead.” he smiles, “Do you want another one?” “Well, maybe there’s already one on the way.” you smile softly.

“Are you serious, babe?” he beams rather loudly, “Another baby? It’s happening now?” “Shh,” you giggle reminding him that Eunji is asleep on him, “Yes, I just got the positive test a few days ago.”

You calm down your now very excited and very awake husband. The rest of the morning was spent talking about your hopes and excitement for the new baby. About Eunji and how much she’s grown in the past four years. How you’re so excited to see her and your unborn baby grow each day and how beautiful it will all be. Even about how the two of you will continue to grow and learn with the help of your children.

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Networks: @8makes1teamnet​ @kwritersworld @k-vanity

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[daftbitch]

Ok so I just going to type whatever is on my mind with what I came up with for Sterling and Nekomamushi.

Nekomamushi is a silly little goose most of the time. He is very protective of Sterling and also has a possessive streak to him as well. The only time of course he isn’t his happy-go-lucky self is when he is fighting or when someone flirts with Sterling. When this happens his possessive streak rears it’s head and he basically does this.

And because he’s like 17ft tall and a giant cat monster who is intimidating AF this scares them off.

None of the minks on the island are stupid enough to flirt with her. Since mink society is very affectionate with physical touch it’s really obvious when people are flirting with one another and when it’s just normal garchu stuff.

Sterling is very affectionate and can be flirty sometimes but is standoffish to people she doesn’t really know. She basically is nice but keeps them at arms length until she gets to know you. She’s never interested in anyone that flirts with her and often gets annoyed when it happens. She states that she is married happily and walks away, but if the person flirting with her doesn’t leave her alone or grabs her it’s game over for them.

Nekomamushi loves carrying his small wife everywhere and picks her up. She insists that she can walk just fine by herself but he just ignores her and nuzzles her while purring. He literally just has her like this everywhere. They go for strolls like this and everything. He holds her with one arm and his pipe with the other.

Sterling sleeps on Nekomamushi's belly or curled up into his side. He always has a protective arm around her either way, along with his large tail wrapped around her in the colder months. Since she doesn't have a fur coat she gets cold a lot easier than the rest of the minks. He likes to nuzzle her each time they wake up together.

Her sleep schedule is quite odd. She is awake from 9 am - 1pm. She then sleeps 1-pm to 6pm She’s awake again from 6pm to 3am she then goes to sleep and wakes up at 9 am. She splits her time because of how Inuarashi and Nekomamushi rule their kingdom. She is very close with both of them and likes to spend her day with them both, but Nekomamushi is her husband she does spend quite a lot more time with him.

She basically becomes a kingbird like Wanda and Carrot. She trains with both the musketeers and the guardians but the only ones that can really keep up with her are Inuarashi and Nekomamushi since she trained with her mother and father the majority of her life.

Anyways that’s where I’m going to end this post for now. I have MANY more things but I can do those later. If you have any questions or want to know any specific please lmk. I’m once again flustered to even be posting this because I’m not use to people interested in my creations so Tysm for reading I really do appreciate it more than you know from the bottom of my heart!!! 💖💖💖 Bye for now 👋👋👋

[aria-writes-fiction]

Can I request cuddle headcanons for Saizo Shura and Niles separately with female Corrin?

Fire Emblem Conquest/Birthright: F. Corrin Cuddling Headcanons

-

A/N: Thank you so much for your request! I tried my best <3 It’s been a bit since I played Fates. Let me know if you liked it!

-

Saizo:

o  Starting out, a relationship with Saizo would actually not be that hard to get into- once he realizes his own feelings for Corrin.

o   He would spend months denying his romantic intentions to himself, but once he connects the dots, he sees no use in delaying his confession.

o   That is, unless Corrin confesses to him first. In this case, he would be so embarrassed and may ask Corrin what made his feelings so plain.

o   Saizo’s schedule usually consists of him returning home late because of his responsibilities involving surveillance and his Lord Ryoma. So, he doesn’t normally get a lot of cuddle time with Corrin unless she stays up for him (a fact which both of them dislike) but occasionally, he gets lucky.

o   His love languages are primarily acts of service and gift-giving- so he always makes sure to bring Corrin is cared for. If he happens to go somewhere interesting, he always brings her back something from wherever he goes (even if it’s just a flower).

o   He loves to surprise Corrin with his presence, if possible, just to see her face light up at his presence.

o   When returning home, Saizo may be a bit on edge for the first hour or so, as if he is settling back into his domestic husband role. This is not to say that he needs to be alone for the hour, just that his responses may be short, and he may be incredibly responsive to what’s happening around him.  

o   As for the actual cuddling, once he settles, he loves showing Corrin how safe he feels with her- even if he isn’t aware of it himself.

o   Generally, he loves to hold Corrin in his arms rather than being held himself. If Corrin insisted, he would let her, but he would feel rather silly for quite a while (he loves it- he’s just not used to being cared for).

o   He just loves to show her how important she is to him- because she truly is the light of his life.

o   His favorite positions to cuddle in are those that allow him to look at his partner because he doesn’t want to forget any detail of her lovely face

o   He’ll cuddle for as long as Corrin wants, but he can’t sleep unless he’s on his back. In the past, he’s even stayed up all night long cuddling Corrin because she fell asleep while they were cuddled up on their side.

-

Shura:

o   At the beginning of his time there, Shura was very shy. He didn’t feel as if he belonged to this group and especially didn’t feel as if he deserved the kindness of living after the sins he committed.

o   When Corrin confessed her love to him, he almost tried to talk her out of it- he was too old, too evil, too manipulative, too much emotional baggage- there was no way he would let her be corrupted by something as evil as himself.

o   Corrin was very adamant, however, to become someone that he could trust and stayed by his side. Because of this, he became attached to her and allowed himself to be her companion.

o   After a long day, Shura loves nothing more to cuddle Corrin.

o   I imagine that his love language is physical touch, more so than anything else.

o   Whether this means that he tries to sneak in a touch of hands when handing something to Corrin or enveloping Corrin in a soft, comforting hug as soon as the two are alone.

o   His favorite cuddle position is spooning. Because of his size, he always offers to be big spoon. In reality, he would have it no other way. He loves to hold her close to him, and sometimes (whether Corrin is awake or not), he brushes her hair to the side of her and plants sweet, gentle kisses to the back of her neck or her shoulder (anywhere he can reach really).

o   In these moments, he also finds it easier to admire her- whispering sweet nothings that he would get too embarrassed to say to her face.

o   Sometimes, just every once in a while, when he’s 100% sure Corrin is asleep, he practices the words he wants to say to propose to her- the ways he wants to pledge his life to caring for her and being by her side.

-

Niles:

o   A relationship with Niles is quite the handful.

o   Being with Niles means dealing with not only Niles, the mischievous soul, but also Niles, the broken and distrustful.

o   The cuddling at the beginning of their relationship was kind of rough. Niles believed that Corrin wanted the side of him that she’d been used to- the one who teases her so plainly, so he put on a show.

o   Due to this, he oversexualized himself to Corrin. His cuddles could usually be seen as an invitation rather than purely cuddling. He would usually tease her with his words and his actions, touching her and encouraging her to touch him in return.

o   It wasn’t necessarily that he didn’t want to do this, he just believed that this is what Corrin wanted- and he believed that it was all he had to offer her anyway.

o   When she began to reject his advances, he began to get incredibly confused. At that point, he no longer understood their relationship.

o   Niles has never really needed to communicate before, so he was initially very bad at it. This lack of communication led to many fights or arguments, which started the rough period of their relationship.

o   However, If Corrin is patient with him in his learning to communicate (because he will certainly TRY, he’s just not very good at getting his point across), he will slowly start to truly trust her.

o   It would take a long time for Niles to get to the point where he could talk freely to Corrin, and even longer to communicate what he wants. He always thought that if he showed her who he really was, that she would leave him for someone better, someone less broken, and a part of him, the part that feeds on his abandonment issues, kind of hoped that she did. After plenty of conversations and reassurance, that part of him slowly began to lose its power and he began to hope.

o   After he realized that Corrin wanted him, not his mask he showed to the world, he realized just how precious she was to him.

o   Niles still enjoyed teasing his dear Corrin, but it was entirely different.

o   At their home, he started to become more open- this showed through little details such as taking off his eyepatch when the two went to bed.

o   All this to say, Niles loves to entwine his limbs with Corrin’s. Whether this shows through spooning, the honeymoon cuddle, or any other position, he has to have one part of himself touching her- even if its just one leg over her body or holding hands apart from each other.

o   The problem with this, however, is that Niles is a human heater. He is usually very warm, so cuddling with him gets very hot after a while. Through hot nights, Corrin usually has to wiggle away from him but he’s quite pleasant to cuddle with in winter.

o   Unlike the other two, Niles relishes in PDA. He couldn’t care less about who was around to see him cuddle his dear Corrin (which had led to many fun scenarios)

-

[queen-of-writing-bad-things]

Henry Danger Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 5

Episode 11: Grand Theft Otto (SMUT)

*heyyyyyyyyy, guess who's bringing sexy back? and two chapters in a row no less. this smut was born from my inability to think of how else to start the chapter, a reluctance to write eight whole minutes with no (y/n) present, a trip to victoria's secret and a lot of piano music with ambient rain sounds (my secret to writing freestyle). 

word of warning, this smut does include some even more mature themes than usual that are discussed but not fully played out (not yet) and i know they're not for everyone, so just be aware of that, exploring different things for different people :)

as always my dudes: don't like the boom-boom then skip ahead until the next warning because this one uses bad words, bad ideas and a lot of the stuff grown-ups do in the real world. Have fun :) *

There was something to be said about couples who lived through the night and slept all of the day. 

They were made of tough stuff. It was almost essential, anyone who went against the body's natural clock needed a certain level of resilience just to struggle through the inconsistent sleeping patterns. That's why (y/n) sometimes liked living underground; you can sleep at any time when the sun doesn't shine. 

But not always.

She missed windows. She missed nice scenery. She missed having a front door and porch, a backyard most of all. How nice would it be if she could wake up in the morning and let the fresh air in instead of a mound of dirt and earthworms?

Maybe it was petty; after all, the Man Cave was great and she'd been promised compensation later down the line. Ray wanted his sweet girl to live in a palace but his bank account would never stretch that far, so a quiet little house in the country would have to do. One where their family would have space to grow unhindered. That was a far-off dream but he swore that the next place he had would have a great view. Maybe a mountain or the cityscape. Something that spoke a little more than stone walls.

And yet very occasionally, not too often thanks to their patchy sleep schedule, there came a day where the view in the Man Cave wasn't so bad after all.

The past two weeks had been hell. Emergencies left, right and centre, people begging down the phone line for help, which sometimes Captain Man, Miss Danger and Kid Danger could give and sometimes they couldn't. Like, when the old lady phoned up asking if they could help her play bingo, they had to grit their teeth and politely say no. But when there was an explosion at the paint factory, they had to go check it out... and discover that once household paint goes on, it doesn't come off.

Fast forward another thirteen days of many showers and a bottle of paint stripper, things had calmed down, leaving Henry a free afternoon at home and the loving couple to crash until midday. For fourteen hours, they slept, dead to the world to the point where when they finally did wake fully rested, they realised how they hadn't had any personal time.

A man couldn't live without his sweet girl and a woman couldn't live without her doofus, so as Ray pottered around the bathroom, having dragged himself from their pit of blankets muttering something about needing to shave the last two weeks off, (y/n) found herself feeling...generous. 

Of course, she was a patient woman. Hell, she'd waited ten years for her perfect man, so she knew when the right time to strike was. But goddamn, normally, she would've called herself an animal, a degenerate, because standing in front of the mirror with a new set of lingerie on, waiting for her husband-to-be so she could give him a heart attack was just not how things usually ran.

However, (y/n) had to admit, she looked hot—and it was a great confidence booster. 

White lace and silk smoothed over her boobs to push them in and upwards, creating the illusion that they were naturally sculpted to give her a perfect cleavage whilst also revealing taut, hardened nipples. Running down her waist and tummy was yet more lace, sheer and soft as it formed a corset to highlight her shape. 

She hummed softly in her throat when the underwear was pulled high over her curves, her core getting slick at the mere thought of Ray mouthing over her clit just to pull it down and have his fill. She'd chosen this set with him in mind; garters and stockings weren't her thing but seeing him lose his mind was too good to resist, so they sat mid-thigh, clipped to the corset where they'd inevitably stay since he fucked with them on, no exceptions. 

Once upon a time the girl who stared back at her would think she was mad and strip it back off along with the light coat of mascara and lipstick she'd put on, but now, she was loving it. And the best thing? Ray would lose his mind. 

No mad scramble to the bed, no way. She'd never seen a Victoria's Secret Angel jog down the runway so she delicately placed herself on the bed, thinking about how she should sit—lie—pose—how did people do this? Laying down made her feel dumb, after all, she wanted to see Ray's face. Sitting felt too formal, like she was waiting for a board meeting or something, so she went for a mix of both, which she guessed was posing. 

In the middle of the bed, she stretched out her legs, crossing them at the ankles to make them seem longer and her hips even more mouth-watering. Her chest pushed out as she leaned back with her arms behind her to stay propped up and it felt like an eternity spent waiting for the faucet to turn off and the humming to finish. 

The thong was starting to dampen and her hips rolled by themselves in response, thighs rubbing together because it had been so long since she felt his breath between her legs, his hands roaming up her back, his cock between her lips. She was desperate but patience would make everything worthwhile.

In the bathroom, Ray had spent the last half an hour in limbo. He'd started shaving, just as he'd promised since Captain Man didn't look as appealing sporting a hobo beard, despite his precious girl's insistent pleas that it made him look tough and rugged. 

More like it would make her thighs burn when he finally got a chance to settle himself between them and taste that sweet pussy of hers. God, her thighs, her tight cunt, her perfect tits, he'd missed them. 

He'd missed her in general; even though they'd still spent every waking second in each other's presence, it was hard to be romantic when you were driving to an accident, getting a fat guy out of a drive-thru window, eating on the way back, napping for half an hour, only to go out again. They'd barely had enough energy to talk, let alone fuck, and dear god, he was desperate. 

He wanted to roll her over and push into her blazing heat that morning, wake her up right and pull orgasm after orgasm out of her until he'd caught up on every one they'd missed, but he'd held back. It didn't matter if he was hard, leaking, and in need of attention; he figured that, after such an arduous few days, (y/n) needed rest, and even his gentlest pace wouldn't give her that.

Not that it would be gentle. He wanted it hard and fast and dirty, so he'd removed himself from her arms before her bleary eyes and fuzzy mind could remember that his aching cock had been pushed up against her slit all night.

One cold shower later and he was fresh-faced and smooth-cheeked, but not a satisfied man. He'd tried to take the edge off, had wrapped a hand around himself to find release but had bitten his lip to smother his frustrated groans when it just wasn't enough. He needed wide eyes, soft moans and a perfect hole to empty his balls into, so he just had to wait for his hard-on to go down under the freezing spray since he wasn't prepared to bear down on his sweet girl simply because he had the libido of a seventeen-year-old.

So, when he left the bathroom with nothing more than a towel around his waist, he certainly didn't expect the sight that awaited him. 

"Hey, sweet girl, should we make some pancakes or order Sushi Dushi? 'Cause it's lunchtime but I'm feeling like—holy shit..." Food was no longer on his mind as he entered the bedroom and took in the vision that was waiting for him on the bed. 

His sweet, sweet girl, sat on the bed like a goddess clad in lace and silk with her doe-like eyes trained on him as her lower lip was pulled between her teeth. Her breathing was shallow as he watched one hand trail from the comforter, snake between her thighs and into her panties to begin teasing her clit, all the while maintaining eye contact. 

All the blood in his body rushed south as he watched with a dry mouth and empty brain, wondering what he did to deserve an angel like her before snapping out of his trance. 

As much as he loved the sheer eroticism of it, that job was his and his alone and any of her pleasure came from his mouth, his hands or his cock, which was back to being like granite now that his eyes raked down her form. Shit, her tits looked so good, he wanted to bite, suck and squeeze them until she was writhing, begging for him to move onto her soaked pussy.

"Fuck, baby—I—fuck, is this all for me?"

"Mhmm, wanted to look pretty for you...and I'm so wet too. You took too long, Captain," she whined, intensifying the stroking of her fingers to increase the heavenly pressure on her clit, which seemed so swollen and throbbing after sitting on the bed for too long. Ray swallowed thickly at her words and stared darkly at her clothed pussy, watching until his mouth was set into a firm line. She knew his rules.

"This is pretty, little one, you look so fucking hot. But that's my pussy you're touching," he murmured, stalking towards the bed as she continued to work herself, only to drag it from her panties at a slow, teasing pace when he was within touching distance.

"'M sorry, sir, I couldn't help it. I woke up and knew I needed your cock in me...but you weren't in bed," she smirked and raised her slick fingertips to her mouth, tongue dipping out to taste them as he leaned down to loom over her, eyes never leaving hers. However, a soft gasp fell from her lips when strong fingers curled around her wrist, the sudden skin-on-skin contact feeling like fire, and he pulled it up to his mouth instead. "Where were you? Why did you leave me when I'm so needy?"

"Needed to shave, sweet girl. Although I have to admit, the idea of fucking you did cross my mind," he whispered smugly before closing his lips around her digits, moaning when his tongue caught her sweet taste as he sucked it off, much to her delight. 

(y/n) smirked as his eyes fluttered closed, aching already from the small glimpse into the pleasure he'd been denied, and she saw no problem in reaching up to his hidden length that was twitching under the towel and tracing her fingers over the leaking head. The reaction was instant, a guttural groan that vibrated against her fingers and a fire in his eyes when they finally met again. 

"I needed it, still do. It's been too long—and I've been saving this to try and seduce you," the woman breathed out as he pushed her shoulders gently down to the mattress so he could trap her against the soft cotton and explore the gorgeous number she'd donned. It had been shoved in her wardrobe for a special occasion rather than a boring, Saturday afternoon, but it would still be thoroughly enjoyed and that's what mattered, especially when his hands started twitching from not knowing where to start.

It was like he was a child struggling to contain his Christmas excitement; he wanted to leave her cunt until last, that way it would draw out the pleasure until it was painful for both of them to wait any longer. Her tits looked almost too perfect to grab roughly and he was torn between keeping them trapped in the white material or freeing them for his use. He wanted to run his tongue over them as her legs with those fucking hot suspenders closed around his waist, wanted to take her over and over again until she was ruined for any other cock.

"It's working, darlin'. I wanna fuck you so bad, wanna make you remember who you belong to—who belongs to you." A squeal left her throat when he pinched her nipple through the lace, a slap landing on the same tit, not a second later, which had her back arching into him. 

Her hand reached for the towel still tied around his waist and with one hard yank, its knot unravelled, freeing his cock so it rested on her clothed cunt with its underside rubbing against her slit. Ray hadn't expected her to be so sudden and his hand closed around her throat loosely, allowing him to tilt her head up until she had no choice but to look him in the eye for what she'd done.

He roamed down her body, biting the top of her breasts and licking to soothe the flesh when his teeth pierced it, her fingers tugging at his hair when he kneaded her tits roughly. It wasn't enough to satisfy the burning in her core, not even when he leaned down to mouth at her nipples through the lace but when she begged him to remove the barrier, thinking that it had done its job of making her look beautiful, he refused.

"Take it off, Ray. I—I need—-it's not fair that I can't feel you!"

"Fuck, no, sweet girl. You look so damn hot in this, I ain't taking it off. I'm gonna fuck you like this and you'll take it, won't you?" He growled at her whining and trailed a hand over lace and silk, over her hips, over her tummy and her mound to the soaked, sorry excuse for underwear. "You'll take anything I give you and love it because I know this little pussy just needs filling. That's what makes you run your mouth at me."

Ray had always known that he leaned more towards lace than leather, preferred innocence over sex kitten, but damn, he couldn't help but fall in love with the way she exuded both sexuality and purity. Had he not taken that innocence over and over again since that first night, he wouldn't have known that she was as dirty as he was, as shown when she pouted innocently even when he rubbed sudden, rough circles over the satin and her clit. 

The ensuing moans that fell from her lips were downright sinful, so was the wetness that aided his finger in pushing into her pussy and how she clamped down immediately, whining when he pulled it straight back out so cruelly. Her already bruised lip was tugged between her teeth again as she propped herself on her elbows to watch him slither down her body to come face-to-face with her most intimate area. His view was blocked by the thong but his eyes remained dark with his dilated pupils as he nuzzled against the soaked material, hot air blowing over her quivering thighs.

"Don't tease—don't tease...please."

"Just admiring what's mine, sweetheart," he murmured, taking his time to pull the thong tightly up her hips until the silk's stitching was snapping and popping, just so he could see how it cupped and pressed into her lips before pulling it aside to begin his assault. 

His mouth found her clit instantly, groaning when the sweetest honey taste flooded his mouth and his tongue ran through her folds to collect more. It danced around her opening before plunging in, tearing a scream from her throat as she held the thong for him in one hand, his hair in the other, allowing his hands to pin her thighs to the bed. 

She noticed how his fingers couldn't stop trailing and snapping the suspenders so they pricked at her skin, something she'd add to the long list of kinks he had when her mind was back in reality. A brief second of respite came when his tongue ceased exploring her walls to suck and slurp at her lips and then her clit harshly, only to return to fucking her not half a second later. She thought a punishment would be in line for her when her fingers left his head to rub her swollen nub furiously, chasing her orgasm as he got off on her wrecked gasps of pleasepleaseplease and hoarse moans of moremoremore. But it was actually quite the opposite.

"That's it, sweet girl. Rub this cunt, get it nice and wet and ready so I can drink you up when you cum," he growled from between her legs, stare pinning her down so she could do nothing but obey, "You want to cum, don't you?"

"Yes—yes, fuck, I wanna cum so bad!" "That's my good girl..." And so, Ray dived back in, wanting to see her wriggle and writhe under his grip so he could use the tidal wave of slick to push into her pussy with no resistance. She always came at least once before he did and the knowledge that she'd be left trembling but satiated gave him the strength to ignore how his cock and balls were begging for release. 

Honestly, he was surprised that he hadn't creamed the sheets yet like a teenager. Seeing her clad in so little lace should've made him, but he staved it off, reasoning that it would be better to cum deep in her pussy and feel her walls tighten around him than the soft nothingness of blankets. 

(y/n)'s fingers flickered harder as he increased his movements tenfold, moving his tongue in and out of her hole as he would if it were his cock, aiming for the spot that made her squirm and whine. He could feel it, her oncoming release, just from the way her walls quivered and her thighs juddered, trying to fight against the iron grip keeping them spread wide. 

A gentle shudder and then it was all over, core clenching tightly and gushing for his awaiting mouth as she kept stimulating her clit through her orgasm, screaming his name until her voice was ruined. Even when the wave mellowed and started to settle, he stayed drinking what he could, licking at her sensitive lips for the last drop of honey he could find because he had been starved and he was finally ready to have his fill again.

"Too—too much, baby—" "S'been two weeks since I last tasted this pussy, darlin'. Still fucking delicious," he said against her folds, practically raking his face through them one last time, focusing on her clit to electrify the nerves there, before pulling away to kneel on the mattress. Hungry eyes raked over her dishevelled form, ravished with her cunt exposed and twitching. It was fucking beautiful, but there was one thing missing.

"As gorgeous as you look in this, sweet girl, I wanna see those tits," Ray said gruffly and no sooner than he did, she scrambled to unfasten the corset and throw it to the side, but he stopped her, "fuckin' keep it on—that's it, push it down. Can't let you take this off, you pretty little thing, might just keep you in it permanently."

"You want the whole world to see me like this? Want them to see what's yours?" (y/n) asked, her eyes innocent but her smirk teasing as she carefully freed her chest of the lingerie, pushing the straps down her shoulders so the corset bunched around her tummy. 

And then, unable to stop herself as his gaze impossibly darkened further, she reached forward for his hard length, giving it a teasing tug, licking her lips when a choked moan and stuttered thrust betrayed the control he loved to have. Thin ice.

"Dirty girl—" he snapped and brushed her hand away, although she didn't have to pout for long, "hands and knees, ass in the air for me." 

A smile broke out on her when he flipped her over with ease and she scrambled to do as he said. Arching her back, she wiggled her hips for him, unashamedly presenting her needy cunt for him just as he'd asked. She looked over her shoulder so she could see his every twitch when shown the hole he was going to fuck raw. 

"You ready for me, sweet girl? Ready for this cock that belongs to you?" Ray snarled, rubbing his dripping head from her clit to her entrance, coating himself in her slick. It was always a squeeze trying to get his fat cock in there but when he was finally balls deep, it was always worth the effort. She fit like a fucking glove, still tight as though he hadn't fucked her nearly every day since the day she said yes but it was definite that she was ruined for anyone else, almost moulded to fit him.

"Yes, so fucking ready...always," the woman whined, holding the thong to the side for dear life as he broke into her, splitting her apart inch by inch until he was at the hilt, balls pressed tightly to her clit as he gave her a moment to adjust to being so full.

"Fuck—fuck, you're always so tight, little one. Like you've never even been fucked—" he said throatily, snapping his hips into hers in small thrusts, trying to stay deep and go slow until he couldn't resist the temptation to go harder, faster, give her what she needed, "But we both know that's not true, right? We both know that you're not innocent."

It didn't even register in her mind that one hand had stopped kneading her jiggling ass until a loud crack broke through the symphony of flesh slapping flesh, grunts and quiet yelps. His hand came down hard on her right cheek and she clenched around him unintentionally, proving him right. She loved it, loved being his dirty little girl underneath her kind smiles and helpful nature, loved relinquishing her sharp mind to be his slut for hours on end. 

Her arms collapsed as he kept up the relentless pace, cock being squeezed in a vice-like grip that had his vision clouding until nothing but her and his end were in mind. A soothing hand ran down her back and pushed her head into the mattress and she knew that he wanted her to stay down and keep showing him her pussy and allow him to fuck it how he wanted.

"Show me this pussy properly, darlin'. Y'know I love this getup but fuck—gotta see it," he rambled, clawing at the thong that was so small that it made fire lick up his spine, but it was in the way. He wanted her bare and shaking after weeks of nothing, so he reluctantly pulled out of her warmth for a brief moment and teased it over her ass. Frantically, her hands came up to her sides to help him yank to about mid-thigh, just enough for him to continue freely, but damn, if the sight of her didn't do something to him.

"Fuck..." he groaned lowly as he pushed back in and began a slow, deep pace, building up to what they'd been going at before when he felt a familiar urge come over him.

It was filthy, taboo, even wrong perhaps, something they'd joked about when drunk but never discussed because it was the thing for young couples to try out or pornstars to show off. Not something he'd ever expect a girl as sweet as her to consider or allow. This was his primal urge to bury deep down and keep to himself, but fuck, when she curved her back again to push her ass up further, he couldn't restrain himself.

His hand ghosted over her asscheek as it normally would, squeezing at her supple flesh as he rocked into her, balls slapping her clit as they swayed. And as his thumb pressed into the crevice, that's when it brushed over her forbidden, puckered rim. His abs tensed as he did, imagining what it would be like to fuck her there, not that he ever would because he respected her far too much, but he still gulped. Especially when she hummed a high-pitched whine and clenched the halo of muscle. Fuck...

"S-sorry, shit—shit, god, I...sorry—" he stumbled an apology, picking up her curiosity and interrupting it as discomfort or even fear. So, naturally, he backed off, stuttering his thrusts as he jerked his hand away like it had touched fire. He hoped that in the haze of pleasure, she'd forget about the slip-up--forget about how he almost lost it when he had both holes on show in the warm light, but how could she? 

(y/n) swallowed thickly, having felt the minuscule touch and found herself...interested.

Ray had a list of kinks and preferences as long as her right leg three times over; he loved being on top but he also loved being ridden. He loved taking her anywhere, anytime. He loved using the filthiest, most vulgar dirty talk, and he adored making sure his partner felt safe.

But this—this was new and hell, he didn't need to be sorry or scared. She was up for trying anything with him once.

"No..no, s'okay, s'okay—you can touch it," she whispered and angled her hips backwards, pushing her pussy further down his length and also offering herself up. She wanted this, wanted to explore and try it out.

Ray almost fainted at her words, having anticipated silence or rejection but never acceptance and it broke the frayed thread that his self-control had been hanging onto. If the spank from earlier had been hard, this one was rough, harsh, brutal, sounding like lightning the moment his hand hit her ass because fuck; he knew she was filthy but not this filthy.

"Dirty—dirty fucking girl. Never thought you were such a filthy, cock-hungry—never thought you'd let me touch it," the hero punched out, his voice wrecked and gravelly and so damn hot. His pace increased to a soul-shattering bangbangbang, forcing the air from her lungs as he abused her slobbery cunt and more. 

He traced over her back entrance, teasing it lightly, never using any pressure so she could get used to the sensation and he kept an eye on her every movement, looking for any sign that she didn't like it, but judging by how she seemed wetter than before and how she was whimpering and suffocating his cock, she needed more, not less.

"I'll let you do anything—anything—shit, you can put a finger in there if you want—" she offered, not expecting him to take her up on that offer because this was a new idea after all, but Ray...Ray thought he'd died and gone to heaven. 

His hips slowed down and a hand cradled one side of her pelvis as the other ran up the curve of her cheek, trembling from how turned on he was. It truly was a miracle that he hadn't cum yet given how tight his balls felt but dear god, he was gonna hold off. Maybe for only five seconds or less, but he was gonna because his thumb was circling her asshole.

"Hottest girl I've seen, sweet girl, so damn sexy..." he muttered, thrust quickening to increase the pleasure as he pressed against the tight hole, breaking through the natural resistance until he was poking in, "Fuck—so tight, just like your pussy. You ever take it back here, sweetheart?"

There was a hesitant edge to his voice like he wasn't sure if he wanted to know the answer because it would mean that she'd once had a similar level of trust with someone else, but he couldn't help it. He had to know.

"N-no. Dre—some have tried but I would—wouldn't let them... I'd let you, though," she whispered as he suddenly slid all the way in, right down to the last knuckle until his thickest digit was buried deep inside of her. The impropriety of it was eating her up alive and she clenched, feeling deliciously stuffed full as his cock split her open and his thumb gave her something else to squeeze. 

Ray was certain that he was moments away from orgasm, reeling from how...dirty it felt, how...right, not just from the image of fucking a hole that would be tighter than her tiny pussy but knowing that he was the only man she'd ever let near her—and he knew most of the men she'd dated, some more than others.

"That right? You'd let me fuck—let me fuck your tight, virgi—" He choked at the idea and slammed his hips into her ass jaggedly, feeling his thumb rub against those forbidden walls and a wave of panic washed over him when he felt his end appear on the horizon, hurtling towards him. No one else had ever made him cum uncontrollably but a squeeze of her core muscles and a grinding undulation of her hips to feel him brush up against her every wall and his hand was dashing to her clit to madly circle it.

"—Shit, shit—not gonna last, darlin'—need to cum in your pussy...can you cum on my cock?"

"Fuck, yes—gonna cum with your thumb so fucking deep and this perfect cock filling me up," (y/n) whined and began rocking backwards to meet his thrusts, not caring if her skin was sore from the constant slapping or if his fingers were sliding around her slick lips and frustrating her clit from the poor stimulation.

"F-fuck—-I love you—" was the last thing he said, garbled and stuck in his throat until he came with a devastatingly hoarse cry. Her pussy strangled his length as he made sure the snug fit couldn't be any closer and her body sucked him in when cum was pumped onto her walls as deep as it could go. The feeling of warmth flooding her womb caused her walls to flutter as she went over the edge too, rambling the phrase back as her cheek smushed against the mattress, body turning limp.

What felt like hours passed. Seconds, really, but eventually, Ray cleared the fuzziness in his mind, swept away the cobwebs and blink one, two, three times so he could see properly again. His sweet girl was slumped into the comforter, her body ready to fall if it wasn't for his brushing grip on her waist, which he instantly relinquished when he realised just how hard it was.

His thumb was slowly and gently removed from her second entrance, him being mindful of the pain of resistance now that they were coming down from their highs. A whimper left her mouth, probably unintentionally when it finally slipped free, and next came his cock. The moment the tip was away, he was quick to pull the thong up her thighs, intent on keeping his precious load in there for as long as possible, although he doubted it would stay with that string barely covering her folds.

And then, at last, she was released to snuggle into the bed, ass slumping with a bouncing crash. Her doofus returned from his dominant, dark side, keeping his sweet girl warm by cautiously spooning her. It was so cosy; her back was against his heaving chest as they laid there for a while before anyone spoke and when they did, it was his baritone in her ear.

"You okay?" Ray asked, his voice gruff but full of its usual goofy friendliness as he nuzzled into her neck and lovingly squeezed her breast—nothing sexual, just him holding whatever flesh he found.

"Yeah...that was intense," (y/n) replied, her voice also sounding raspy from the excessive screaming but still, she sounded happy as well. A content sigh left her lips as her eyes slid shut and although he didn't show it, she knew that the noise made him relax. Every time they tried something new, her lover always freaked out a little afterwards, but she was fine-- fucking blissed out, but how was he to know that?

"Yeah. Yeah, it was. Are you sure it was okay? It was...good?" Ever the worrier and people say she had problems with nerves. 

"I would've told you if it wasn't, doofus. I loved it like always...just didn't know you were into butt stuff," the woman held a light tone, trying to not sound negative or anything like that because he was trying so hard to make sure she was comfortable, a trait that made her fall deeper in love with him when they first started fucking.

"Not massively but...yeah. I've only ever wanted to do it with you, no one else was ever—y'know—curious. But if that was enough for you then, that's fine, sweet girl. We can stick to lingerie and handcuffs if that's what you wa—"

"Raymond, hush," she rolled in his arms until she was on her back and he was on his side looking down over her. Her poor lip was back between her teeth as their faces stayed close, noses brushing as her hand came up to lace their fingers together because they were in this together, after all, comfort came for both parties. "The lingerie is definitely staying since nothing gets you harder—"

"Seeing you naked gets me just as hard, sweetheart." Cocky bastard. Where was the fun in that? It was true that if she came out of the bathroom, fresh from the shower without a towel, he'd be all over her like a rash with any excuse to grope her but she enjoyed dressing up and waiting for him more than a surprise pouncing. She was a patient lady and the real fun happened when the roles were reversed and he was her prey.

"Whatever, you dork. My point is that I meant what I said. I'll let you do anything and that includes fucking me there too. As long as you don't forget my pussy when you do." An irresistible offer by all accounts and Ray's smirk grew in tandem with hers as her words sunk in. His perfect girl; sweet angel and little devil rolled into one.

"Don't think I'll ever forget this pussy, sweet girl. Not ever," he whispered his reply before placing his lips delicately on hers, his hand sliding down to rest over the lace bunched across her stomach to remind her that he never lost sight of what he adored.

The moment was peaceful. Tongues explored their mouths and tastes, remapping known territory lazily as they basked in their mid-afternoon, post-sex glow...right up until a rumble across his palm reminded them that it had been a good fifteen hours since they last ate. And the protector couldn't have his future wife hungry.

"What was that you said about pancakes earlier?" (y/n) asked as he pulled back with an amused smile, her wide-eyed, innocent look returning that had his cock twitching at the thought of them staring up from between his legs as she sucked—no, they were not doing this again. Down, boy. 

"Stay here, darling. I'll go make some," he promised her, pressing a kiss to her forehead as he untangled their lips and reluctantly rolled off the bed to find wherever he tossed his jeans last night when they fell into bed exhausted. Ray only bothered to tighten the belt after yanking them up, even forgoing underwear since he'd strip out of them and into fresh laundry when he returned with a tray of enough food to feed an army. 

First, he just had to make sure she was fed first because it was his instinct to. After all, this was merely practice for when they finally owned that quiet house with nice views, windows, a front door, a porch and a backyard, although he hoped that by then, they'd only be exhausted from running around after a few children.

*welp. that was a thing. i hope the more adventurous types enjoyed that, i did tbh. it's nice to do something different but from this moment forth, WE ARE SAFE AGAIN. fear not, the light will return and maybe even Ray's interest in "stuff "👀*

~

"Mmmm, god, these are good," (y/n) moaned as she shovelled mouthful after mouthful of fluffy pancakes and toppings into her face. Technically speaking, they were Ray's famous mancakes, fresh from the pan and made tall with all manners of syrups, fruits and chocolate chips. 

She was certain that there was way too much for one person on her plate but saw it as a personal challenge to finish the lot since it had been her doofus who'd made them just for her and it's not like she could feed him. He'd eat the odd mouthful she offered him, but how could he take food out of his starving girl's mouth? That was unthinkable.

"Keep making sounds like that and I'll make sure they taste even better, sweet girl," the hero smirked as he placed his plate on the couch table and came to slide in next to her. In the time it had taken the pancakes to cook, he'd gotten properly dressed and she'd replaced her slightly wrecked, definitely crumpled ensemble with simple cotton shorts and one of his huge t-shirts, stating that crime was low that day and it was not like they had places to be other than the Man Cave, so comfy-casual it was. 

Plus, Ray was a sucker for his sweet girl in his clothes, so he was happy to let her wander around taking in the beauty that was his fiancée, happy in their home with the food he'd made her, ready for a chill day.

And she hadn't followed his command of staying in bed, far from it; after ten minutes of scrolling through her phone, answering texts, emails and checking trashy news sites, she'd grown bored of the bedroom and wandered through to the kitchen to find her doofus cooking up a storm. He pouted when she hugged him from behind, saying that he wanted to make his beautiful future wife brunch in bed, but one comment about how she felt lonely apart from him and he was sold. 

They'd danced in the refrigerator light and said good afternoon to a smug Schwoz, who looked like the cat who got the cream for some reason until he made some reference to the entire hideout shaking from the way Ray fu—he was lucky he didn't get a punch to the teeth for that. So, now, they were in the main room, set to wait until they were needed, which meant an afternoon for movies. Or so (y/n) thought. 

"Come between me and my pancakes and we will be at war, doofus," she giggled and pointed her fork in his direction with the best serious face she could muster. No one could ruin this for her, but it was impossible to glare at him for so long when he was such a dork with his floppy hair, so a smile soon cracked the seriousness.

"I surrender, baby. You can keep the pancakes if it means I get a kiss," Ray fluttered his eyelashes like the lovable idiot he was and grinned when she quickly kissed him without hesitation, leaving the taste of honey and syrup to linger on his lips. The sweetness was enough to satisfy him for a while and as Schwoz pottered around the room, calibrating and tinkering, they fell into easy conversation, talking about anything and everything just as they had always been able to.

It wasn't until they were on their last pancake each that (y/n) said something that broke the peace and caused the universe to shift in a way that she could never have predicted. After all, who cared that much about moustaches?

"Hey, you know Jasper?"

"Yes, unfortunately, I know Jasper," Ray replied through a mouthful of pancake, his tone turning dark at the mention of the boy he loved to dislike. It wasn't even dislike at this point, it was just how their relationship functioned, but nevertheless, it made her roll her eyes.

"Whatever, doofus. Anyway, apparently, according to Charlotte, he grew a moustache when he was in Idaho," the heroine told him, not thinking anything of it since it was Jasper they were talking about and males grew facial hair every day, it's not like it was a new phenomenon. So, it wasn't until the clattering of Ray's fork on his plate that she looked up and saw her lover's wide-eyed, dare she say awed expression, complete with a trembling bottom lip. Was it something she said?

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Jasper, as in the Jasper, our Jasper, grew a moustache?" Ray blinked a few times and his hand came to circle his wrist in a firm grip. It wasn't enough to hurt but it captured her attention completely and (y/n) frowned at his strangely over-the-top reaction.

"Uh, yeah... I mean, I know it's weird because he was gone less than a week and one minute, they're our babies, collecting buckets and doing stupid stuff to impress girls, and the next, they're pubescent teenagers on the verge of adulthood and they have facial hair, but—" 

In all honesty, (y/n) could feel herself tearing up a bit at the thought of the teens growing up so suddenly because it had only felt like yesterday since they were still proper children. Now, they were grown, ready for their own lives and it's not like she was stupid—it had always been on the cards that they'd move on and become independent at some point but since when did she care like a mother losing her children? Someone needed to pass her a tissue but by the time she looked up, Ray was scrambling off the couch.

The last scraps of his breakfast were left to go cold when he rushed to the holo-caller as if his life depended on it. His very confused fiancée watched with knitted eyebrows as he punched in the code for Henry's watch and impatiently waited for the kid to pick up. No, no, it was fine, she wasn't sniffling over the idea of losing three family members because of life's natural flow, everything was good. At least she could distract herself when the boy finally picked up, looking all tall, and handsome and grown up. 

"Hey, what's up, man? We've got a little bit of a situation here—" Henry answered rather quickly, not at all phased by how excitable his boss seemed. After the disastrous afternoon he'd had, he wasn't in the mood for quick chitchat but there was something about the art of growing hair on their faces that made men go nuts.

"(y/n) told me Jasper has a moustache now. Lemme see it!" The hero exclaimed excitedly, not even picking up on the boy's hurried tone. (y/n) perked at the mention of the situation, wondering what the hell it could mean and found herself wandering from the couch and over to the machine, dipping in and out of frame as Ray shuffled from one foot to the other.

"Yeah. Jasper, come here," the kid looked at his friend and upon hearing his name, Jasper stepped across Henry's bedroom and smiled at Ray's grainy little body. 

Immediately, the hero laughed and clapped his hands in amazement, thinking that for once in his life, the weirdo was actually the coolest of his employees. He was a man who needed to be clean-shaven nearly all of the time and it was always thrilling to witness the power of testosterone pumping through a boy's veins to give him body hair. Definitely thrilling.

"Aw, Captain Man, that's a sweet 'stache! Sweet girl, have you seen Jasper's moustache?! Isn't it great?"

"Are you kidding me?!" Charlotte facepalmed at her boss' reaction, sounding like she had something in her mouth but (y/n) ignored it as she analysed his facial hair and came to the conclusion that yep, that thing right there, that was a moustache. Hair. On his lip. Good stuff. The professor was in the house tonight. 

"Yeah, awesome... Sorry, doofus, I can't lie to you, it's just a moustache. What's so great about it?" 

"Thank you, (y/n/n)! At last, someone has sense!" The woman's confused face put Charlotte at ease for the first time that night. Ever since Jasper had walked through the door and interrupted her and Henry's study session, it had seemed like the entire universe loved it. Henry, Piper, the police, everyone gave it high praise for reasons unknown to her, so it was nice to find a common ally. Ray, however, was unfazed by their unity and still sat happily on the opposite side of the fence.

"Schwoz, I just saw Jasper's 'stache! It's sweet!"

"Raymond, I have ears!" (y/n) winced as her doofus bellowed unnecessarily to the genius across the room, who quickly downed tools to scurry over and see this mythical creature for himself. Henry rolled his eyes at how his boss reacted and at how he didn't hesitate in bringing his sweet girl into a side hug as a subconscious apology, but it was the suddenly very crowded holo-call that took the biscuit.

"You like?" Jasper asked, stroking his upper lip with a smarmy expression.

"Yeah! That is a very manly lip schweater!" Schwoz nodded enthusiastically, the same wonderstruck look on his face as Ray, who was near the point of drooling as if he had his lover stood in front of him wearing his favourite dress on her. Their eyes were fixated, unable to look away as the girls' eyes met through the digital divide and it was like they shared the same thought at the same time.

"Has the whole world gone crazy?"

"Apparently so, yes..." (y/n) wrinkled her nose and shrugged, not at all impressed that her romantic breakfast—lunch—dinner—had been left for something as trivial as a moustache. She was also kicking herself for not getting dressed properly earlier as now that she wasn't being chased around the kitchen by Ray and a handful of pancake batter, the chilly AC of the Man Cave was giving her the shivers. The cotton t-shirt and shorts combo had been a mistake, so had forgoing socks and the mention of sweaters was a cruel tease.

"Crazy for Jasper's 'stache! You're getting a raise, buddy."

"Yes!" For Jasper, winning his boss' approval was a dream come true and it was certain that Ray was deadly serious. But, it wasn't just impressive that he'd forgotten about their love-hate relationship so easily, the way he seemed to sense his fiancé's discomfort was straight-up uncanny. 

Without looking down, it was like he could sense her goosebumps and unashamedly wrapped himself around her in a bear hug; long arms brought warmth to her body as they crossed her chest and the heroine sighed contently at the heat from having him pressed against her. That was better but not for long.

"Look, later on, we can all give some love to Jasper's lip sweater," Henry butted in, sounding a little too serious for (y/n)'s nerves. He was one of the lads, shouldn't he have been acting like a child too? And yet, as ever, Ray didn't pick up on any tenseness, he merely made plans to worship the little patch of fuzz as he'd worshipped his sweet girl that morning because both were a thing of beauty to be revered.

"Can and will!"

"Right now, we got a problem, okay? 'Cause Piper's talking bird found out that I'm Kid Danger, so now, we're hiding it in my closet so it doesn't tell the secret to everybody in Swellview!" The boy blurted out, spilling every last bean to his boss because he'd learned on every past occasion that lying about things like this made everything worse. 

Look, it wasn't his fault, technically, it was Charlotte's. When Piper brought her class parrot home, she'd warned them that it was capable of mimicking sounds, so the girl just had to open her mouth and say the dumbest phrase in the history of dumb phrases, leaving them with a massive problem on their hands. And to think, Ray and (y/n)'s afternoon had been so pleasant.

"You got yourself into quite a pickle, my friend!" Ray chuckled, although he was more nervous than amused. Releasing a sigh, (y/n) massaged her temples and tried to take in as much comfort as she could from the idiot behind her to try and fight the migraine she knew was coming. Accidents would happen but for once, she wanted one day off without some form of disaster falling into her lap, be it professional or personal. Would that be too much to ask?

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, here's what I'm thinking," Henry said, having had time to think long and hard about their plan of action, "all right, I'm going to go to a pet store. I'm gonna find a bird that looks exactly like the one that—"

"Ehhhh, that's stupid," the large man floating above his wrist replied dryly, not even letting him finish because it was that bad. Messing about trying to find an identical bird was dumb and a waste of time, which they didn't have since Piper was already in a tizz over losing her parrot and understandably, it was only a matter of hours until her search party took it into their heads to start sniffing around Henry's room.

"Okay..."

"What you need is a bird clone," Ray suggested instead. He was a strong believer in the idea that science could solve every problem on Earth and even though he didn't understand how it worked, he employed two people who did. Well, he was in love with one of them, but she'd do it as a freebie since she couldn't resist his cute face. For the teens, though, that sounded like madness.

"What?" "Can you two clone a bird?" Ray ignored Henry, looking at Schwoz for a second before nuzzling his nose into (y/n)'s hair and ear, planting a kiss on her cheek just for the hell of it.

"Yah."

"Well, identical cellular reduplication isn't my strong point but in theory—"

"They can clone a bird," Ray confirmed to Henry, not wanting to hear one word of his sweet girl being unsure. It would be fine, he trusted her when it came to smart things and it's not like she'd be doing this alone. If anything, she'd be more like an assistant to Schwoz since biology wasn't her specialist science and whatever the outcome, he'd proud of her anyway, whether they made a monster or a bird.

"What do you need? A feather?"

"Yah."

"Anything containing genetic material, really. But a feather's good," (y/n) nodded, feeling a little uneasy at the idea of her first cloning experiment. There was the unethical side of it, the danger, the possibility of something going wrong, the pressure and the need for perfection to worry about but apart from that, this was a learning opportunity and from the very best, no less. After all, Schwoz had cloned many things over the years, including some things that were better left unspoken about.

"They need a feather," the hero instructed his sidekick, who couldn't that the team was about to do this, but what choice did he have? Face his sister's wrath and risk his identity being revealed? That was off the table, so it had to be a cloning job. He just hoped Schwoz and (y/n) knew what they were doing.

"We can get a feather."

"Great. You bring us a feather, Schwoz and (y/n) clone a new bird, that don't know nothin' from nothin', we kill the old one, swap in the new one, badda-boom, badda-bing, me, my sweet girl, Schwoz and Jasper go to the batting cages," Ray made it sound so easy...and horrible. Everything apart from the killing part was perfect; it wasn't the parrot's fault that it had heard something that shouldn't have been said in the first place, so murdering it was just cruel.

"Yes!"

"No! Raymond, we are not killing the poor bird!" The girl in his arms scolded him, trying to be firm even though she had no idea where the old parrot would go. It was kinda difficult, though, what with her flaming cheeks and everything. 

In her experience, a trip to the batting cages often meant leaving Schwoz, and now the lucky Jasper, to hit baseballs into the night whilst he dragged her off to one of the secluded, shady corners so they could make out like teenagers. It was never about the sport, it was about getting her alone in such a risqué place and pressing her into a wire until she saw stars, so the sooner they cleared this mess, the better. 

Hey, no one ever said she wasn't a teenager too.

"But sweet girl..."

"Yeah, let's not kill the old one," Henry joined her argument, not wanting to hurt Otto the class pet, but it was a big mistake cutting into the longing gaze of a man and his fiancé.

"Potahto, potato, just bring us a feather."

"It's potato, potahto," the boy corrected him, earning himself yet another glare for being pedantic. Ray was a master with words, often getting them muddled in his head, so he didn't appreciate it when he was mocked for getting one tiny detail wrong, especially from a kid who he was trying to help.

"Potahto, potato, potato, patahto, just bring us a feather, you spicy tomato!" He snapped and left it to Schwoz and (y/n) to wave goodbye to the kid as he stomped off to go and pick at his pancake leftovers. They were slightly soggy by now and chilled from the cool air, but still sweet enough to soothe his anger, or maybe it was the way he could stab his fork into them that was therapeutic, who knows? 

Either way, the real stress relief came from the angel who floated over with her learned calmness, being the only thing that could ever truly make him feel better.

"Y'know, one of these days, we're gonna have a day where nothing goes wrong..." (y/n) sighed and sat on the edge of the couch's back, hands resting on his shoulders. They began to massage away the knots that lay beneath his skin, thumbs drawing tight circles in thick muscle and Ray groaned at the pressure. His head lolled back as the pancakes were forgotten again, no doubt those remnants were destined for the incinerator now that she had his full attention and loving gaze.

"One of these days, I might just marry you and we can go live someplace where no one will bother us," he replied softly and her heart squeezed at the sudden turn from her lighthearted joke. He'd never leave Swellview behind, not until he was certain that there was someone to take his place but the notion made her smile all the same. Peace would be a change, but maybe not an unwelcome one.

"Careful, doofus. Offer to elope again and I might just take you up on it."

"We could. Doesn't have to be much, just enough to let me call you my wife," Ray whispered, hand coming up to lay on top of hers on his shoulder so he could feel her engagement ring, present on her finger like always. He knew she wanted a wedding, but god, the thought of finally having someone make it official sounded so damn good. If she was his wife in his heart, what difference did it make? He'd take her either way.

"Sounds nice, but it'll be worth the wait, Ray," (y/n) whispered, swallowing the lump that formed in her throat as she denied him what he sorely wanted. She'd marry him even if it killed her and maybe some part of her wanted to be married so badly that eloping had crossed her mind, only to be shot down. 

They'd regret it in the end, that she was sure of, and whilst she didn't have many fears for the future, regretting marrying the love of her life was one of them. She never wanted him to be sick of the sight of her, so a wedding day it was, even if they still had nothing ten months down the line. "I promise."

Ray said nothing and they went back to an easy silence as they waited for the feather delivery. He'd hold her to that promise but he knew he wouldn't have to. His girl was worth waiting for.

~An hour later~

"Come on, come on, come on, come on, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up," Henry said under his breath as the annoying drill of his PearPhone's dialling tone rang in his ear. It was safe to say that his situation had gone from bad to worse after Charlotte collected one of Otto's feathers and now, he wasn't just facing his sister's weather but the entire neighbourhood's.

He didn't understand why there was such a big fuss over one bird. Otto was just like any other parrot but there was a police presence in his house, a prayer vigil outside his door, and a man wanting to hunt down the bird with a snake, which would end badly he just knew it, and he started to panic about the mob growing on his porch. Just because they were peaceful now didn't mean they wouldn't lynch him when they found out about how he was the birdnapper, the one they'd been praying for.

So, the kid was desperate for any news from the Man Cave, where Charlotte had scurried off to with the feather once she'd been grilled by the cops and their pathetic sketch artist. Of course, in the hideout, things were progressing quite well, Schwoz and (y/n) were on the ball, cloning away, Ray was sitting on the couch staring dreamily at his sweet girl as she floated around the place and Charlotte was waiting for the moment the cake was out of the oven. So to speak.

"Hey, Henry. What's up?" She answered in a semi-chirpy tone that grated against her friend's sour mood.

"Hey, did Schwoz and (y/n) clone a new Otto yet?" Henry asked, praying that they already had a new bird ready to be substituted in. He couldn't hide in his bedroom forever; eventually, the birdman and his snake would come sniffing (do snakes sniff?), and then, they'd find their prize stashed in his closet. And that would be game over.

"Uh, hang on," Charlotte told him and looked over at her fellow smarties as they poked around with science that was beyond her education, "Are we close?"

"I think so..." "He just needs a couple more minutes," they answered. Honestly, (y/n) wasn't that good at cloning...or anything to do with biology but she saw it this way. Otto's DNA, the stuff they'd pulled from the feather, was like cake batter and all they were doing was shoving it in a very special oven, turning up the heat and waiting for the cake to rise. Any deviation from that plan would ruin the cake...or something to that metaphor.

"They say we're close." "All right, well, tell Schwoz and (y/n) to hurry up because there's a bird-sniffing snake on its way and they're gonna find Otto in my closet and they're gonna hear—" Henry panicked and opened his closet door to reveal the little red bird still sat on its perch, only this time, it didn't say it's favourite phrase, much to everyone's surprise.

"The moon landing was fake!" It said in its helium-like chirp and for a glorious moment, Henry thought their problems were over because hallelujah, it didn't say his biggest secret.

"Hey, wait a second, Otto's stopped saying that—" "Henry is Kid Danger!" Charlotte cringed as she heard the shrill squawk of the parrot, that hadn't learnt to say something new. 

"Dang it!" For a moment there, the boy had thought that Otto could be returned to Piper with no worries because if he didn't say the K-D word, then everything was fine. Or not. He just had to go and spoil it.

"Well, why can't you sneak Otto outta the house before the bird-sniffing snake even gets there?" Charlotte questioned, wondering what was stopping her friend from leaving before he got caught. In the background, she was trying to ignore how her boss was giving her friend goo-goo eyes, turning her back on him so she didn't have to see him blow a kiss only for her to sweetly catch it. If Henry thought he had it bad, she had it worse.

"Because my house is surrounded by people holding up picks of candles on their phones and donating to Piper's GoFundYourself account. I need a new bird!" He snapped in reply and angrily ended the call. His voice was so harsh that it even broke Ray out from his (y/n)-induced haze to make him frown at the racket. What could the kid possibly be worried about that it meant he had to stop staring at his fiancée's pretty face, hips....butt? 

"Henry says you gotta hurry up and clone a new Otto!" Charlotte told the genius and his assistant as she shoved her phone in her back pocket and gave them a firm stare. Ray stood up from the couch and wandered over, seeing that things were starting to get exciting but for all the glares in the world, perfection couldn't be rushed. Did she want the cake to sink if they opened the oven door too quickly? Did she want Otto to be a mutant freak?

"Okay..." Schwoz shared a chuckle with (y/n) before looking at the girl kindly...and rolling his eyes a bit at how Ray leaned over to cup the woman's cheeks for a quick smooch, "Anytime you say hurry up and clone, that's when the mistakes happen."

"But it's safe, right? Like you two've cloned stuff before?" "Well, personally, no, but Schwoz has a lot of experience...and by the way, you need to get some antiseptic on those scratches," (y/n) replied truthfully before commenting on the frankly awful injuries that Charlotte had sustained after fighting Otto for a feather. They looked particularly sore but nothing that wouldn't heal fine without a little care and attention, but it was the clone that Charlotte was bothered about, not the state of her face. It was a good thing that Schwoz had been practising for years, more than anyone was aware of.

"Schwoz?" "Yeah, I've cloned myself—" he said when the girl looked at him, spilling the secret that he promised he would never let loose because he knew that it would piss Ray off. After all, it would piss (y/n) off. Cloning people was unethical and irresponsible in her eyes and once she told her lover that, it would be bye-bye cloning machine for him, so he resolved to keep it quiet so he could have lots of little helpers about the place. "I mean...I, myself, have cloned many things that are not me!"

Looking at him suspiciously, the little man's friend's lined up to stare at him judgementally, (y/n) stepping next to Ray so she could analyse his facial features. She knew a liar when she saw one but how was she supposed to prove that with no proof? Schwoz was very careful with his clones and so, they were never caught. Not yet anyway.

"Schwoz, did you clone yourself?" Ray asked, his arm sliding around his girl's waist as he stared down at his handyman. He was the boss, so he had a right to know what was going on in his Man Cave, right? It was bad enough dealing with one Schwoz, let alone, two or three or five or ten yet he didn't know that those other Schwozs were the reason that so much stuff got done around the place.

"Ummmm, noooo...." "Yeah, see, the way you're saying ummmm, noooo, makes me think you really have cloned yourself," Charlotte told him, seeing straight through that fake innocence and folding her arms. She knew something was going on, she wasn't stupid, but perhaps all three of them were deaf and blind because as they stared down the original, low and behold, a clone Schwoz snuck through the secret door. 

He happily waddled into the main room as he snacked on an apple. Clone Schwoz had no idea what was going on with his boss and friends but Real Schwoz wasn't about to let their secret be revealed. 

"Yeah, that's what I'm thinking too. The long no makes it seem like he's lying, right?" (y/n) looked up at her doofus and then at Charlotte, both of whom agreed that Schwoz was talking out of his ass. However, they were so busy debating whether he was or not, that they didn't see the second genius slope off when urged to by his counterpart, who thanked his lucky stars that they didn't look at him or behind them.

"Oh, totally, sweet girl. The short no is always true. The long no, that means he's lying," Ray pointed out, too wrapped up in the loving gaze of his fiancée and how it made his insides feel warm and fuzzy to notice the sound of the door opening and closing again. Rather, the only thing that was capable of breaking their trance-like staring was the ding of Schwoz's Clone-u-Lator, which he assumed meant something had happened.

"Oh, good! The clone is done! Everyone can move on!" Schwoz exclaimed and rushed to open the door of the machine. Talk about saved by the bell or the ding or the machine, whatever, he was saved. For now...

"Yeah, sure..." (y/n) gave him a pointed look and tucked away a small thought about investigating his lab in her mind. He might have thought he'd gotten away with it, but she'd get him one day and everything would become clear. Y'know, the day they didn't have a mouthy parrot to deal with.

Slowly, Schwoz opened the door on his cloning device and there, sitting on the small perch, was a parrot. And not just any parrot. It had a red and brown plumage, a glossy black beak, beady eyes and every claw on its foot; the perfect clone of the bird Charlotte had left in Henry's closet after wrestling for one of its feathers. She had to give it to the genius, the likeness was uncanny and it was a weight off her shoulders as Otto Two hopped out of the chamber.

"Oh, wow!" "Ooooohhh!" "He looks exactly like Otto!" Ray exclaimed as (y/n) grinned at their handiwork, happy to admit that most of it had been Schwoz just so she could admire him more. As he sat there on Schwoz's wrist, Otto squeaked happily and she would swear that it was the same bird if she didn't know better, so switching them would be fine and Piper would never know the difference.

"Yah, that's the point, schweetheart," Schwoz replied to Ray sarcastically and the man's face fell into a grumpy frown. There was only one person who was allowed to call him that and she never used such a bitter tone. Stupid clever people and their smugness.

"Hey, it's exactly the same in every way?" Charlotte asked, wanting to make sure that there was no stray feather or distinction that would make Piper smell a rat. She loved that bird and so did the rest of her class, so there couldn't be anything wrong.

"Mmm, pretty much. It just hasn't learned to say Henry is Kid Danger," Schwoz said, pointing out the key difference that was sure to save them. But, as per the universe's unfair way, the moment he said that forbidden phrase, Otto Two learned what they'd been trying to avoid. He should've kept his mouth shut, what did he think would happen?

"Henry is Kid Danger! Henry is Kid Danger!" Otto Two squawked and the four felt their stomachs drop. As Ray, Charlotte and (y/n) glared at him, Schwoz's gaze dropped to the floor as his cheeks flamed red, embarrassed that he'd said something so stupid when they didn't have much time and now, their saviour was their new executor. Not such a genius, after all.

"Nice going, schweetheart...." Ray quipped dryly and gave his handyman and cold look as he sheepishly handed the bird over to (y/n) for her to hold. He'd have to start again, that bird was now tainted with that phrase and wouldn't unlearn it, so they'd just have to keep baking until they got it right, which would be fun and easy and stress-free.

"Well, what are we supposed to do with this one?—All right, we get it, feathers," (y/n) asked as Schwoz quickly thumbed a few buttons and slammed the door shut on the cloning device, smiling at her nervously as the parrot bobbed its head and said Henry is Kid Danger, Henry is Kid Danger a million more times. She wasn't one for birds, rabbits, yes, dogs, definitely, but not parrots, they flapped and squawked and were so damn annoying, especially the talking ones, so what were they supposed to do with the spare? 

Releasing it was one idea, but that would mean Otto Two would blab his beak all over town and every Henry in the land would be hunted down. One of these days, she'd swing for Schwoz.

"Pluck it, roast it, stick it in a pot pie!" Ray smiled at her and began sizing the creature up for his dinner, which earned him a few mortified looks from his sweet girl and friends. Parrot pot pie? They weren't even sure if that was legal and more to the point, why would he want to eat the poor thing? The wasn't even enough meat on him for a full meal and everyone knows that Ray always ordered enough for two, just in case he could share with his dearest fiancée.

"Raymond! We are not eating Otto!...Or his little Ottolets!"  "But baby—" "No buts! Someone call Henry, see what's happening with him and that snake man," (y/n) put her finger on Ray's lips to silence him before looking at Charlotte, who nodded wordlessly and began scrolling through her phone. The boy was probably getting worried since they'd said they'd be over any minute, fifteen minutes ago. It wasn't their fault that Otto Two had gone wrong, it was Schwoz's, so due to that technical hitch, they had to start again and in the hurry, they'd forgotten to broadcast that update. Oops. 

Charlotte paced impatiently as her phone tried to connect to Henry's and in the meantime, Ray pecked at the finer on his lips, moving down to her engagement ring, her palm and then, on the pulse point of her wrist. (y/n) was giving him a faux-annoyed look as she tried to juggle the bird and his advances, but that morphed into a smile when he leaned down for a proper kiss. Looking at them through his eyelashes, Schwoz scoffed and watched his invention impatiently, wishing it could go faster without ruining the process. 

"Henry! Hey, we—" the girl exclaimed when she finally got through to her friend and in her haste, she didn't give him a chance to say hello. But Henry was quick to speak first because, in the brief time since their last con-flab, shit had hit the fan at his house.

"Hey, what the holdup?! The bird-sniffing snake is here!" He asked impatiently, worry coating his every word. The man who'd brought the snake was thankfully a massive gunch and as such, was too busy showing off and hyping the crowd to get straight down to business, so nothing had happened. Yet. That snake was practically begging to be let out and Piper was getting antsy and shouty and dear god, his nerve was beginning to slip from the stress it was under.

"Yeah, we had a little problem with the first clone—" Charlotte told him nervously and tried to mask that to no success. She wasn't inspiring much confidence in the boy, but just as she started speaking, the oven went ding, indicating that Otto Three was ready to go. Maybe this time, they'd have more success. "But the new-new clone is done and we're leaving right now."

"Right, no one say the word and we'll just back away to the elevator slowly..." (y/n) said quietly, pretending to put her hand over Otto Two's ears so he couldn't hear the plan and possibly spoil it. They all nodded solemnly and Schwoz carefully opened the machine to reveal yet another perfect Otto, one that hadn't been corrupted yet.

"Wait, wait...what was the problem with the first clone?" Henry asked as the party carried on outside his front door. He couldn't help it if he was curious and neither could Charlotte help it if she wanted to be honest. A little too honest, which led to being forgetful and loose-lipped.

"Schwoz said, Henry is Kid Danger, in front of it and—" "Henry is Kid Danger! Henry is Kid Danger! Henry is Kid Danger!" she explained, thinking nothing of her mistake until it was too late. Otto Three hadn't even made it out of the box when he started chirping her exact words, which were very attractive for a copycat parrot. As with Schwoz, she suddenly felt very stupid and knew that her ears and cheeks were growing warm as her friends' eyes twitched and their faces fell. 

"Oh, come on! I literally said don't say it!" (y/n) cried in frustration and her hands raised to pull her hair as Otto Two flapped off to join his twin in their annoying symphony. Now that one was saying it, the other couldn't resist and it was certain that what should've been simple was gonna take a while.

"We'll call you back," Charlotte said to Henry with a sigh and much to the boy's reluctance and maybe fear, the call was ended. Come on, he was on the verge of being hung, drawn and quartered, what were they playing at? It's not like cloning a parrot is difficult.

~Half an hour later~

So he thought. Henry was beside himself at the house as he waited for his dumb boss and dumb friends to get to his dumb self but as the seconds ticked by, he was starting to lose hope. He had no idea what was keeping them and it was starting to look like he'd just have to be murdered by the prayer vigil because help wasn't coming from the Man Cave.

By Otto Number Five, even Ray, (y/n), Charlotte and Schwoz were losing patience. Every time a bird had come out, that which must not be said was spoken and they had to start all over again. It was annoying but manageable when it was their fault, like when the heroine said it when she thought Otto Four was still cooking but when the birds themselves started squawking it like everything was one big game, things were starting to become unbearable. 

As they waited for Otto Six, they were praying that they all stayed silent. It was quite a collection now, all five were lined up on the computer monitors, looking down on the scene as if they were waiting to say something to piss the humans off, and of course, they chose their moment when their new friend—brother—self dinged to be done.

Absolute silence. With their fingers on their lips, the group held their breath as Schwoz opened the door, wanting Otto Six to not hear anything to do with Captain Man or Kid Danger or Miss Danger, so it was easier to just say nothing, apart from the odd parrot squeak. The door inched open and there he was, as perfect as the other five, totally pristine and innocent as he was lifted out, onto Ray's hand and into a new world where nothing could go wrong and no one could teach him anything because no one was saying wor—

"Henry is Kid Danger!" Otto Two or maybe it was Four chirped as they snuck towards the elevator and with panic flashing on their faces, the four ran to the elevator, (y/n) almost pushing Ray over in their mad dash. Perhaps if they got him in there quick enough, he wouldn't hear what his predecessors were saying and it would all be okay...

"Henry is Kid Danger!" Too late. The elevator door didn't open quick enough and as Ray rapidly tapped the button, Six opened his beak and let loose the four most annoying words in the human-bird language. Above the repeated Henry this, Henry that, some several shouts and groans bordered agony as they turned on their heels to reset the cloning device for the seventh time and for the man-child of the Man Cave, it was difficult to stay calm.

"Shut up! Shut up all of you! Why?! Whhhhyyyy?!" Ray glared at the parrots and squashed the urge to launch the one that sat on his fingers at them. His sweet girl would never forgive him if he did that and besides, he had her shoulder to sob into angrily as she came to hug away the pain, mumbling something about calming down, being better than a temper tantrum and plucking, roasting and Potpie-ing them later.

~

"Hurry up, Schwoz! Henry is freaking out!!" Charlotte exclaimed as Schwoz muddled through their seventh attempt at cloning Otto. She didn't want to rush the genius or his experiment since (y/n) had told her that shit goes wrong when you try to botch science, but for once, she was rushing. 

Halfway through the baking process, she'd received an incoming flurry of texts from her friend ranging from asking where they were to ones of a more dramatic nature. Namely, that Henry thought he was gonna die or something to that effect, which meant that it was imperative that this time, they got it right and quick, but Schwoz wasn't a man to be hurried, not when said hurrying could have disastrous results.

I told you! When you hurry the cloning process, that's when you get a lot of problems!" He tried to tell her but for Ray, excuses were pathetic because Captain Man and Miss Danger had a date with returning a lost bird to a little girl and they couldn't do that if they had no bird. 

"We are out of time! Just give me something, anything that looks like a bird!"  "Yeah, Schwoz, I know it's a bad idea, but just give us a bird!" The couple hissed, feeling itchy to get moving as they were already so late and on the verge of Henry having a heart attack or never forgiving them or both. She was the semi-scientist, she knew the risks but even so, she was willing to cut a few corners if it meant they could leave sooner. After all, it couldn't be that bad, right? 

"Fine!" Not wanting to be badgered anymore, the genius shrugged his shoulders and stopped the timer early, bringing forth the ding a good five minutes early. "He's not ready yet but here's your bird!" Schwoz glared and opened the door, knowing exactly what they were gonna face but he wanted to prove to them that he didn't make this science stuff up. Bad things genuinely did happen when you ignored Schwozie.

"Oh!" "Argh!" "Sweet cheese!" As the door opened, the unsuspecting trio were expecting to see a slightly ruffled Otto Seven, maybe with a funny eye or something like that, but oh no. Dear, sweet lord, no. (y/n) jumped back into Ray's arms and they clung to each other for dear life, much like the thing in the machine was as it trembled on the little perch.

In the box, was a mutant freak; the parrot had very few feathers left, kinda like he'd been shaved, and he was hunched over with scabby skin and a funny, crazed look to him that made them feel so sorry for whatever chromosomes and genes he was missing. Otto Seven was half the Otto the other six were and (y/n) and Charlotte felt like monsters for opening the door too early, but Ray...he didn't see that big a problem.

"Eh, I can sell it," he shrugged, angling the parrot between his hands and deciding that yeah, he looked horrible but at the end of the day, that was still a bird and the beloved Captain Man could tell the people anything and they'd believe him. After all, he had done them a favour by saving what was left of him, surely a scabby Otto was better than no Otto at all. "Come on, sweet girl..."

"But—but—the—doofus—we—huh?" (y/n) stammered as he took the bird and her hand, guiding her towards the elevator as she failed to articulate what she wanted to say. What did she want to say? The bird? Him? Her? Piper? She honestly didn't know what was happening as Charlotte scurried behind them without hesitation. She wasn't going to miss this for the world, the big moment when Captain Man handed Miss Piper Hart half the bird she originally took home, would be a tragedy to behold. 

But not half the tragedy of Henry getting his head ripped off if they handed over nothing more than Miss Danger's wobbly apologies.

~Henry's house~

It was all going at the kid's place.

Piper was sitting on an upside-down bucket as she watched the snake guy wow the crowd by swinging his bag about, enjoying how their voices went low and high whenever the big and its dangerous contents did. He'd been doing that for ages, goaded by Henry and Jasper since they were trying to drag it out for all of its worth since Charlotte had said that they were coming at some point. He was a massive show-off, though, so it wasn't hard to make him lose track of time with a few praises and Piper's well-wishers were actually just sheep with too much time on their hands so they'd do anything as per the pack mentality.

But Piper, well, she was starting to get pissed off as the rock music played on and as she looked around at her supporters, she couldn't believe that they'd been hanging about for so long. Anything could've happened to Otto in the time they'd been doing nothing, which meant change was in order.

"Okay, okay, stop, stop!" She shouted above the noise and the cheering and music ceased, much to everyone's disappointment and Henry's slight terror. "

"What's the problem?" "The problem is that you've been showboating for ten minutes. Are you gonna let the snake out so it can find Otto or not?" Piper asked the man sternly, who looked a little ashamed at her observations. He felt a bit bad that he'd gotten so carried away and Henry shuffled on his feet as he realised that his sister's insisting meant that his time for stalling was up.

"Yes, I will let it out..." the boy held his breath as the man looked solemnly at his shoes, but all hope was lost, "...after the conga line!!!!"

"YEAH!" To his massive relief, a stroke of luck fell thanks to the man's childishness and lack of professionalism, so Henry thanked his lucky stars and got in the queue for the conga. If it meant that the snake stayed in the bag, then he'd do some dancing, no matter how red-faced and annoyed Piper was getting because he'd been on the verge of a heart attack all day. The least he could do was try to relax as he steered the madman around the porch to keep his mind off of his snake.

"No! No conga lines! Use your stupid snake to find Otto! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" The girl screamed into nothingness, her voice drowned out by the cheers from the crowd and the upbeat music to the point where her vocal cords were sore. It was tough seeing her so frustrated and on the verge of tears but Henry had to stay strong for his own sake...but not for long because here came an even bigger showboat.

"All right, people, heroes comin' through! Make a hole, make it wide! That's right, let the lady through!" Ray announced, suddenly appearing from the darkness like a vision in blue and red with (y/n) shyly leading the way since he was a firm believer in sweet ladies first. 

Now, Henry had never felt this before in his life and he doubted that he ever would again—but dear god, he'd never been happier to hear that bigheaded voice. Just like he'd never been happier to see the lovey-dovey couple still holding hands even as he was preoccupied with what he assumed was Otto in that shrouded cage. He could deal with the cockiness, he could deal with the mushiness, he was just so glad that they'd made it at long last and just before the snake guy ran out of things to show off about.

"Oh, look! It's Captain Man and Miss Danger!" "And they've got the real Otto!" Henry and Jasper exclaimed in stale tones, sounding rehearsed and stupid to boot but no one paid attention as the hero set the bird cage down on the bucket that Piper had been sitting on. No one even noticed how Charlotte snuck into the group at suspiciously the same time as the heroes, almost as if she'd been with them, had anyone bothered to think about it like that.

"Did you find Otto?" Piper asked the heroes with wide, bright eyes that were filled with hope and wonder. Oh, how it would break their superhero hearts when they showed her what had befallen the seventh copy of her beloved class pet. Still, Ray could sell it just as he'd promised because he was a very smooth, charming talker and who could resist Miss Danger's winning smile? Not him, that's for certain.

"Uh-huh, sure did, little girl... He-Here ya go!" (y/n) tried to keep her face pleasant and her voice steady but it was kinda hard what with Piper staring straight at her. Ray's hand squeezed hers tighter as his other whipped away the white sheet that had been covering Otto's grotesque new features and honestly, the reaction of the crowd could've killed her right there. Henry and Jasper were looking at the couple and Charlotte with horrified expressions as they gave the tiniest shrugs and subtlest apologetic looks, but no one was more distraught than Piper as she took him in.

He looked like a half-dead chicken.

"W-what happened to him? It looks like he's been microwaved or something," She asked, not knowing where to look, whether that be his wings that seemed to grow from his backbone or his hoarse, jingling croak.

"Oh, well, y'know...the sickos that bird-napped him did not treat him very well," Ray lied, swapping a knowing look with his sweet girl and Charlotte as the crowd cooed in sympathy. They thought that the poor thing had been hounded and mauled by some cruel psycho but the reality was that they were the ones who were sick, they'd half-baked the cake so it was crusty on the outside but gooey and gross in the middle. Oh well, a sob story always worked in the animal's favour, maybe he'd make Swellview's Got Talent if they milked it.

"But when Miss Danger and I found those people, we beat 'em up!" The hero lied further, earning himself an eye roll from his fiancée that was mimicked by Charlotte because she knew exactly what was going through the man's mind. Oooh, Miss Danger fighting, oooh, she's so hot, ooooh, the people love him. He was loving it, punching and kicking the air as if he really had taken down some bad guys, but at least the crowd bought it. 

"I mean, yeah...we really did a number on 'em! Real bad..." "Otto's back, people!" (y/n)'s lack of convincing enthusiasm was supported by Ray's talent for working a crowd and he happily gave her a side hug as Piper led the crowd in chanting the name of the brave parrot who'd been to hell and back, only to fight beak and claw to return to his mistress. Well, if they were happy then so were they, even if it was a shallow victory.

"Otto! Otto! Otto! Otto! Otto! Otto!" "Captain Man! Captain Man! Captain Man!" And being the bigheaded that he was, Ray couldn't help but slip his own name in there until the kids and various adults were shouting it instead. Piper was a bit confused and the teens thought it was massively cocky of their boss but as always, the Swellviewian crowd just followed the leader and Captain Man was good at that.

"Captain Man! Captain Man! Captain Man! Captain Man!" "There you go..." Well, at least he was happy about it.

"You're a massive ego, you know that?" (y/n) said as she looked up at him with a bemused smile, admiring how he was able to make them do whatever he said so easily. It was conceited of him but she could never do what he did, the leading, the being confident enough to step in and command the crowd to do what you wanted them to do. She was rubbish at that and would never dream of willingly stepping into the centre of attention like that, so it was awe-inspiring that he not only could but enjoyed doing it. Not that she'd ever play to his ego like that.

"You love it." "Oh, yeah, keep telling yourself that," she giggled and squeezed her eyes shut when he pressed a firm kiss to her cheek as she was pulled into his embrace even tighter. Charlotte dared to look to her right a little and pulled a face when she saw her friend squeal and laugh at how many butterfly kisses were being left on her cheeks by the man who was revelling in his two loves; the adoration of the crowd and his greatest love of all. Her.

"Told you I'd sell it," he muttered against the softness of her cheek and for once in her life, (y/n) had to pander to his ego. That was true, he'd done a good job, which even Charlotte had to hand to him, even if she was gagging at the same time. A look over his shoulder to Henry and Jasper and Ray was smirking even more because they gave him a nod and thumbs up. He was smug, right up until the point when their admiration turned into smirks of their own as they made smoochy faces and swirled their tongues in the cool night air.

It was Captain Man's turn to be embarrassed.

~The Man Cave~

After Ray was done throttling them and rubbing his knuckles against their heads, (y/n) had dragged the boys and Charlotte back to the Man Cave, saying something about wanting to get out of her uniform since today had been meant to be a day off of sorts. 

So, back in their home and with the family crowded in one place, the man of The Cave had proclaimed that for the rest of the night, up until the inevitable first emergency call of the evening, they were gonna sit around the TV, watch bad shows or movies and not move an inch. 

So, as the computer's monitors kept an eye on the shadiest parts of town, the TV played whatever was on air and they sat around it. Jasper was relaxing at the computer whilst Schwoz, Henry, Charlotte and of course, Ray and (y/n) were sat/snuggled on the couch in what should have been an idyllic scene. And for once in their lives, the happy couple were joined at the hip but not in paradise, not even when she raked her lips from his cheek to his jaw because there were several guests currently outstaying their welcome.

Those fucking parrots. All seven of them. The original Otto had been brought back to the Man Cave, lest he b left at Henry's house to be discovered, bringing that total of irritating little chatterboxes to seven and they would not shut up. It was impossible to relax fully or enjoy what was happening on the screen because nothing could be heard except for—

"Henry is Kid Danger!" "Henry is Kid Danger!" "Henry is Kid Danger!" "Henry is Kid Danger!" "Henry is Kid Danger!" It was infuriating. They were sat on top of the monitors still and Ray could swear that they were gloating at everyone's suffering, especially his, as he tried to get cosy with his sweet girl, possibly snake a hand where it shouldn't have been but it was hard to be cheeky when every little thing annoyed her to the point of pushing him away. He wasn't hurt, not like you'd expect because he got it. The headache was very real and even he found himself not in the mood as the chirps and squawks continued until it wasn't funny anymore.

Some might say it was comical that they were in that situation but by the half-hour mark of listening to nothing but "Henry is Kid Danger!", it was getting difficult to hold it together.

"The birds are too loud, I can't hear the judges!" Henry whined as he leaned in closer to the set, hoping to catch what the people on the cooking show were saying. This was one of his favourite shows, on the count that they all had cute and hilarious British voices, it would've been nice to hear one line when the judges critiqued something bad.

"Or their funny accents!" Schwoz complained too, which was a touch of the pot calling the kettle black but he had a point. The birds were so annoying, so much that Charlotte was starting to sense the tension between the miserable couple next to her.

"Jasper, will you turn up the volume?" She asked politely, getting the feeling that if her boss got any more frustrated, he'd punch the wall...or Schwoz's head. And it wasn't like (y/n) was gonna do anything; she was currently slumped against the couch table, her face smushed into her arms as she tried to block out the infernal noise and all Ray could do was sling an arm over her back and pathetically paw at her for attention that she wasn't going to give him whilst her head hurt so much.

"Good idea—" "I got a better idea. Let's turn the volume down on the birds!... Permanently," The hero growled, his patience wearing so thin that it was now nothing more than a smear and he had the self-control of a toddler anyway. He wanted to hold his sweet girl and kiss her and hear her whisper naughty things and stupid jokes in his ear but most of all, he wanted her to feel better again. To see her look and smile at him again. 

So, in his head, it made sense to sneak his laser control from his pocket and raise his arm to fire at those damned parrots. One hit and they'd be nothing more than ash on the floor and his lover would be content to snuggle with him again. After all, what kind of protector was he if he couldn't commit a little bird genocide for her comfort?

"What are you talking about, doo—oh my god, Raymond! No!" (y/n) raised her eye with bleary eyes and peered at her lover in confusion as his arm left her back and took its warmth with it. It was only when she looked along to the connecting hand and what was in that hand that her brain suddenly stopped hurting and flipped into action, quick enough to lift his arm and skewer his aim, but not quick enough to stop the firing full stop. Rather, Ray's thumb hit the button and an orange zap left the controller but it didn't hit an Otto, oh no.

"Ah!" Jasper yelped as he felt a burning sting on his lip like a bullet had grazed his mouth, and he looked up at his friends to see their shocked faces but most importantly, Ray's guilty mug as they started pointing fingers.

"Are you okay?!" "You zapped Jasper's face!"

"That was (y/n)'s fault!" "I was saving that damn parrot's life!" "Y-yeah, she's too sweet to be blamed! It was Charlotte's fault, she wanted the TV to be turned up!" When Charlotte looked at (y/n) with an accusing glare, the woman recoiled and frowned because she had merely been trying to do the right thing, not join a game of tattletales. But of course, as always, Ray valiantly jumped to her defence and practically hunched over his lover to bare his teeth at Charlotte for her outrageous suggestion.

"You shot off my moustache!" Jasper yelled at the horrified trio and whilst they weren't big fans of it in the first place, Charlotte and (y/n) felt just as bad as Ray as they saw his bald, slightly sore but definitely red upper lip. Despite having it for less than a week, the teen had grown quite attached to his lip sweater and was fuming to know that it had been lost for something so trivial, like losing a soldier because of a general's poor order.

"Noooooooo!" Henry screamed, his face contorting in pain and anguish as if he was the one in mourning. His best friend had looked so cool, cooler than anything to anyone he'd ever seen, so to see it shaved off was devastating.

"It was an accident! (y/n) hit my zapper!" Ray squeaked and fluttered his eyes innocently, which caused his sweet girl to look at him with mutiny in her eyes. Oh, why didn't he stab her in the heart whilst he was at it? One mean look from Jasper and his shaved whiskers and he was whimpering, leaving her to the dogs to be torn apart and she would be offended if she didn't know that in serious circumstances, he'd never betray her like that.

"What were you thinking?!" "I was trying to save the birds! Which, by the way, are now quiet, thanks to me!" The woman snapped at Henry and then glared at her future husband, both of whom seemed more upset than Jasper at the loss of the moustache. But she was right; since the laser had fired, the birds hadn't made a peep, probably because they were scared shitless by the hulking hero and the silence was bliss.

"Yeah! At least the birds shut up!" Charlotte told her friend, nudging his arm to get him to back off so they could enjoy the quiet and hopefully, the couple next to her would mellow out. (y/n) huffed and flopped back into the couch, ignoring her heart's desire to latch onto the bicep brushing against her arm and hug it for the rest of her life. The fuchsia shirt he was wearing made them bulge and seem extra huge, perfect for snuggling or holding onto when he dragged her off to f—or not. She was sulking, feeling moody after being sold out so his buddy wouldn't get mad over a moustache. 

"At least the birds shut up." Spoke too soon. It must've been something about her voice because the Ottos picked up on the phrase the minute she said it and this time, it was even more annoying. Not because they'd been quiet, although that did grate, but because now it felt like they were being deliberately annoying, mocking even, because they had the power to toy with the pathetic humans who were too soft to do anything against them.

"At least the birds shut up." "At least the birds shut up." "At least the birds shut up." "At least the birds shut up." 

"Ray?" (y/n) murmured darkly to her fiancé, swallowing thickly as her head began pounding again, souring her mood even further. Those little bastards with wings, she wanted to step on every one of them because they were ruining the last scrap of her day off and that just wasn't on.

"Yeah, sweet girl?" Ray acknowledged her in a tight voice, feeling a similar dull pain set in between his temples, meaning any hopes he had of laughing away the tension for his "betrayal" were dashed because neither of them was in the mood for fun.

"Let's make some parrot pot pie." She growled, not even caring about how morbid her idea was and of course, Ray was at the end of her rope just as she was. And obviously, he would do anything for her, so when he began shooting again, it was up to Charlotte to try and keep those damn birds alive again.

In the chaos, as a small girl tried to fend off a man twice her size, as an odd boy stroked his stubbled lip, as a lanky kid walked off, as a genius ducked for cover and as seven birds chirped to their heart's content, (y/n) let her forehead touch the cool table and plugged her ears with her fingers as her eyes slid shut. The world was blocked out like there was an ocean in her head, and at last, there was peace in the Man Cave.

Sort of.

[saijspellhart]

Wow things have been crazy,

Finished out my first week full time at my new job. I’m still nervous. And it’s still a bit overwhelming. But I’m learning and improving.

We had a pipe burst under our house and we were without water for nearly a whole week. Couldn’t shower, flush toilets, cook, nothing. Broke as fuck, and trying to get by without water is… very stressful. Had to buy jugs of water from the store to wash hands and ration it for other uses.

We managed to get that pipe fixed, but there is still a pipe in my shower that is busted and leaking. And honestly just a million other small home repairs that we cannot afford but need.

Got some family drama/stress happening. My eldest brother is being stupid about his diabetes and I’m worried about him.

Friend drama happening. (I don’t want to get into that. But is better now.)

On top of all that, still got my medical problems I’m always dealing with. I’m chronically and incurably sick. Got an autoimmune disease, coupled with mental health problems. Which means even my best functioning and most active days, are still the bottom of the barrel days for normal healthy people. But I’m trying so very hard.

Suffice to say, I’m dirt poor, barely scraping by, and there is a mountain of stress smothering me.

Which is why I’ve been quite absent, and not updating anything. I feel like an understuffed plushie, with seams made of cotton candy, and I’m slowly coming apart and struggling to hold my pieces together. But there’s not enough stuffing in me either so I’m lacking any structural support. So I just fall limply on the ground and come apart.

But there is good news

I made new friends at my new job. Real in person friends. The last time I had an in-person friend, who lived close by, I lost them to cancer. So this is huge for me. I’m extremely excited and happy. And I hope to spoil these new friends rotten. -tentatively have my fingers crossed that it’s good lasting friendship-

I won’t be dirt poor anymore! This new job will effectively triple my previous income. And it won’t be as physically demanding or exhausting as my previous job. I won’t risk another back injury like the one that had me bedridden for nearly a month this summer. Plus new job comes with benefits, vacation time and stuff. And the hours match my husband’s work hours better, so we aren’t struggling with opposite schedules anymore.

My husband and I’s sleep schedules finally align.

I will be able to get treatment for my illness again so my body does not continue to deteriorate! Huzzah!

We fixed the burst pipe under my house so I have running water again!

We’ll be able to afford small home repairs, and take the steps to return our house to a more liveable state. This will give me a more mentally positivity living conditions.

Eventually I’ll be able to see my therapist again. (Yay mental health love and care)

I’ll be able to afford some clothes, (it’s hard to find clothes from a thrift store when you are big and very tall.) shoes, gas for the car, car repairs, finish getting my drivers license, basically all the small things I did without because… very poor.

Just… there has been so much going on. And it’s been everything I have to hold myself together.

Thank you to everyone who has been patient with me. Thank you to everyone who has been so friendly and supportive. Thank you to everyone who helped me out when things really went to shit for me. (So many of you came through and leant a helping hand.)

I feel like I’m finally reaching a point in my life where I can put some stuffing back inside, and begin stitching myself back together with some proper thread.

Thanks, you beautiful people.

[bizzarestoriess]

Pregnancy inducing stand attacks Diavolo // Kiraboss pregnancy headcanons 

ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴍʏ ᴊᴏʙʀᴏꜱ

I'm aware that this type of concept isn't exactly a popular one, however I wrote this headcanons as a gift for a friend of mine, they are entirely SFW and I tried my best to make it as well as I could! Of course if you don't want to read this kind of thing that's okay too! Either way this is a TW: Mpreg, Kiraboss and slight breast growth also my requests are open if you want to request anything in particular!

BEFORE FINDING OUT:

-Diavolo would definitely try his best to continue on with whatever he was doing even when things got pretty bad.  -He'd always give some 'logical reasoning' as to why he was so nauseas or throwing up a lot. "Oh perhaps I ate some bad food, oh someone might have been trying to poison me' -Of course Diavolo didn't suspect anything until he started gaining weight, he wasn't the kind to overeat normally!  -But how would this even be possible? he was a man! It had to be a stand user! He would need to find them and kill them before the got out of hand or his husband found out. -Unfortunately for him, his husband HAD found out. And had known for a lot longer then Diavolo what had been going on. -Kira was a man of schedule and he knew everything and how it happened when it came to you, so he looked into his lovers symptoms after the odd food cravings and vomiting. -However, unlike Diavolo he didn't mind if they didn't find the stand user. He had never considered it but having a family was the perfect life was it not? -He could be a househusband and cook meals for the family and oh this would be so nice! -Diavolo was NOT pleased when he eventually took the test, Kira had to calm him down: "Shhh my love it's alright...I'm sure it will be okay.." 

DURING PREGNANCY:

-Diavolo wasn't going to let a baby stop him from running a mafia! What would enemy gangs think if they found out?! Yes, it was a good thing he ran things from the shadows. -Of course...meetings were fine at first, they weren't often and he could hide behind a table if he had to. But the belly began to make it harder to keep suspicion off. -There had to be SOME way to work, right? -Kira would roll his eyes as Diavolo worried about work, before giving him a back massage and kissing him gently on the neck to calm him down. "You can just work from home, send me out to meetings if you have to. We can say you are ill." -"FOR NINE MONTHS?" -"Until we can think of a better excuse." -Diavolo found it ironic how now that he was stuck inside he wanted to get OUT. Do something, anything! but his size was getting hard to hide and made it even harder to waddle about. -Peeing often was annoying enough but soon Kira pointed something else odd out to him one day during a movie night.  -"Diavolo..has your chest always been so...swollen?" -Diavolo is mortified and would try to hide under the blankets, but Kira assured him they probably wouldn't get too much bigger. -He was wrong -Diavolo had a little more moob then usual, but Kira would just tell him his body was preparing for the babies arrival.

GIVING BIRTH:

-Giving birth as a male stand user was very different to how a woman gives birth. -It was still just as painful for poor diavolo, especially since they both decided an at home birth was the safest option. -Kira was giving him cold towels and squeezing his hand to help show his support for most of the time until the delivery. -King crimson was summoned with a glow surrounding its stomach, the light expanded more and more and eventually flew down to land in the arms of Diavolo, panting and out of breath. -Diavolo had passed out from the pain and effort it had taken, so Kira ensured to put the baby in a bundle of blankets and help Diavolo get comfortable and sleep. -When he eventually woke up Kira had been staring with teary eyes at the little baby in the crib. -A beautiful baby boy -Diavolo instantly wanted to hold him, he knew he hadn't been the best dad to Trish..so he was determined to be the best dad he could to this child, starting right now.

AFTER:

-Diavolo is a very loving father, he works the moment he can but thinks about how his husband and child are all day. -He returns home as quickly as possible and ensures the baby and Kira are okay. -Kira is a stay at home house husband, he cooks and cleans, he even decided to paint a room in their shared villa for the baby when it got old enough to have its own room. -He loved to watch the baby wrap its hand around his finger, it made him chuckle.  -Diavolo just loved the idea of a fresh start, one he that he could show he could change, and one where he might even have an heir to the gang off the baby wanted to get into that career. -They both were surprised when the baby reached out and giggled at Killer queen as it looked interestedly into the crib, the baby had a stand?? -This just made things a LOT more interesting.

[winter-angst]

Not a hydra husbands question but I’m curious of your opinion on Clint x Tony!

I’ve been getting really into them<3

Oh that’s an interesting ship! I’ve never actually thought much about it but I do have some thoughts.

I can see Tony have a deep respect for Clint, especially after what happened in The Avengers, being brainwashed by Loki and killing his mentor. I imagine Clint felt very lost without Phil who, in my head, kind of helped Clint establish a “normal” life after a hitman on the run for so many years and such a turbulent childhood. And Tony, orphaned himself, might feel a sense of responsibility to step up.

Maybe they spend more time together. Drinking, talking, Clint opening up about his past and, when they’re closer, about his struggles coming back to himself after being used as a tool of destruction. It doesn’t seem like a stretch for things to sort of drift into romantic territory.

Tony’s love language is materialism so he’s quick to supply Clint with things that he feels Clint needs. Clint is hesitant at first, maybe it reminds him of Phil furnishing him with belongings when he was first recruited, and Clint feels appreciative. I’m certain there are plenty of conversations on the topic with Natasha, Clint wondering if he’s being bought off or if he’s betraying Phil if he lets Tony lift some of the guilt off his shoulders. In my head Natasha encourages it. While she knows Tony is far from perfect Clint is equally flawed and from what she’s seen they bring out the best in each other.

I can see Tony treating him to fancy dinners, trying exotic, high-class foods that Clint never had access to before. Maybe they even take a few evenings to see if they’re capable of replicating it. And Clint of course brings Tony off his high-horse and out of superiority complex with cheap beers and great slices of pizza from hole in the wall pizzerias that are only open overnight because they both lack healthy sleep schedules.

They equally admire and respect each other which i believe could lead to a good relationship with each other with plenty of support and love to go around