#i love my parents and they’ve done sm for me that i don’t have to deal with bc i moved back in to help them

[lavampira]

:c

[pxndorasdream]

Experiment 101 — Part 2

AgedUp! Neteyam x Fem!Human! Reader

Words: 5.5K

Warnings: Mention of kidnapping, mention of blood (Pls tell me if I’m missing something)

Summary: The three newcomers are interrogated by the Olo’eyktan of the Omatikaya and they make a great discovery. The youngest Sully boy made friends with the new humans in the base, but his older brother doesn’t seem very happy with their presence.

Notes: Hiii, i’m sorry this took so long, I didn’t have inspiration to write and this took me like a month to get it done, i’m so sorry. But now it’s here! I hope the fandom is not completely dead cause I still love avatar sm. keep in mind english is not my first lenguaje so it could have some mistakes

3rd Person POV / Proofread ig

Masterlist (i still don’t know how to do that, pls help💀)

“Who are they?” Norm asked the warriors that just arrived at the base, looking carefully at the three sky people he had never seen.

One of them shrugged. “Olo'eyktan told us to bring them here” He answered. “He said something about you and Max checking them and then he will question them”

“Okay, leave them there, please” The Na’vi warriors did what Norm said, laying Y/N, Cameron and Thomas on three stretchers inside of some kind of check room. “They don’t have an oxygen mask, are you sure they’re alive?”

“Positive, Olo’eyktan and his sons made sure it was that way”

“Okay, thank you” The human thanked and the warriors made their way out. “Max!” He called.

“What happened?” He answered peeking through the door.

“Jake says we have to check on these three” He informed, gaining a confused look from Max.

“And who are they?” Max asked looking carefully at the humans.

Norm shrugged. “They don’t know either, so I guess we’ll find out when Jake questions them”

“Fine, let’s get it done.”

Both scientists started to check on the three youngest ones, they had just a few scratches. But what concerned the adults was that their lungs were about to collapse. New oxygen masks were placed on them trying to keep them stable till they wake up.

“It seems they breathed Pandora’s air for a little too long, that why their lungs are collapsing” Max informed. “They need to stay in oxygen for a few more hours, in the meantime, we should do some blood test on them”

“Yeah, I’m on it”

On the other hand, Jake Sully and his sons arrived to their family hut. “What were you thinking? What if it was some kind of tramp from the sky people?”

“Dad, I’m sorry, we were just curious, no need to be so paranoid” The youngest said, immediately regretting it.

Jake raise a brow in Lo’ak’s direction. “Are you for real?”

Neteyam stepped in before the situation escalated. “I’m sorry sir, we will not be doing that ever again”

“I hope so, boy”

“Ma’ Jake, what is happening?” Neytiri’s voice was heard by the three Sully men. “What did you do this time?” She asked looking directly at Lo’ak.

“Your sons found some sky people left behind by the RDA” Jake explained. “We brought them to our base”

“What? Why? Why didn’t you kill them right away?” She asked her mate. “You know better than that”

“They are young, maybe the same age as our children”

“The sky people left them behind for some reason” She said. “They were sent to attack us!”

“Mom, if you let me, I don’t necessarily think they were ‘left behind’, I think they escaped the sky people’s base” The youngest son replied, trying to defend the three young humans, for some strange reason. Maybe they reminded him a little bit of his friend Spider.

“Why would they even want to escape the sky people? They are their own race”

Jake shrugged. “I don’t know, they are with Norm and Max right now, they’re unconscious, so they’re not a threat for now” He said. “Now, you two tell me what exactly did you heard from those humans”

Neteyam and Lo’ak shared a look, the oldest starting to tell what they’ve heard. “We already told you must of it, but they said they lived a shitty life and would probably die in a shitty way”

Lo’ak nodded. “They were kidnapped by the RDA, and they used them as lab rats, that’s all”

Jake pressed his lips. “Fine, I better get going to question them, the faster the better”

“Can we go?” Lo’ak asked. Neteyam didn’t show any emotion, but he wanted to go.

“No” Neytiri said. “There’s no way you go back there”

“Mom, we’ve been there many times, this will not change anything” Lo’ak tried to convince his mother.

“The other times you’ve been there, there weren’t some strange sky people”

“Please mom, we’re curious, they could breath Pandora’s air for much longer than usual, there must be something off, right?”

Neytiri moved her gaze from her youngest to her mate. Jake only nodded, quietly telling her that it was okay with him. “Fine, you can go” The brothers smiled. “But…” The smiled disappeared. “You will stay by your father’s side at all time, am I clear?”

“Yes mom”

“Fine, get out of here”

“Sooo, who do you think they are?” Lo’ak asked his older brother. “And what is their business here?”

Neteyam shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe their just lab rats as they said”

“Boys, keep up” They heard Jake talking to them. “We’ll get our answers once I talk to them, which will be in a few moments, so stop wondering about and walk faster!”

“Alright, alright” The youngest said.

Back in the lab, Y/N opened her eyes and stood up rapidly. The last she remembered was the RDA people being attacked by the Na’vi and then them not being able to breath along with the strongest pain she’d ever felt in her entire life.

“Hey, hey, hey, try to stay calm, we need you to stay calm” A unknown man told her. “You are safe now, but we need you to stay calm for us to explain what happened”

“Who are you? Where am I? Where are the others?” She asked switching her gaze every few seconds to every corner of the room she was in.

“My name is Norm and I’m a scientist” Y/N face started to drop. Not again, she thought to herself. Norm noticed it. “Don’t worry, we’re not with the RDA, you’re free”

“Alright, alright” She sound like she was trying to calm herself more than talking to Norm. “Where are the others?”

“The blonde guy is in the room next to us, the other one is still getting checked by other scientists” Norm explained.

“And Madison?” Y/N asked.

Norm looked at her confused. “There wasn’t a Madison with you”

“Uh? What do you mean? She’s a curly headed one, a few years older than me”

The man shrugged. “I’m sorry kid, but there were just the three of you, no one else” Y/N only nodded, trying to process the information. “What’s your name? It would really help to know the names of you three”

“Oh, yeah, I’m Y/N, the brunette guy is Thomas and the blonde one is Cameron”

“Alright then…” Norm was interrupted by some Na’vi on the door.

“Are they awake?” Jake asked. Norm stood up and walked towards the door.

“They are, let me get the others and you can start the questioning”

Jake gaze meet Y/N’s. “Okay then”

Soon enough, Cameron and Thomas enter the room, followed by Norm, Max and Jake Sully and his sons, who insisted in joining them.

“Oh god, now were going to get killed by the Na’vi people” Cameron started to talk when he saw the three tall blue figures towering them. “Why are we always at the verge of dying? That is kinda strange, don’t you think?” He asked Y/N who looked at him confused. “Anyways, it was nice to meet you guys, you really made the experience of being kidnapped a little fun”

“I don’t think being kidnapped is a funny experience” Y/N answered him, both of them totally forgetting there were witnesses to their conversation.

“Oh my god Cam, why do you have to talk so much in situations like these?” Thomas said angrily. “And you should stop answering him, you know how he gets, Y/N”

The scientists looked at them with a smile, those three young people were quite funny. Jake fought a smile from appearing, and Neteyam and Lo’ak were confused.

“We’re not going to kill you” Lo’ak finally spoke, breaking the discussion the humans were having.

“Not yet, at least” Neteyam added, gaining a look from his father.

“What are your names?” The oldest Sully asked. “I know he’s Cam” He pointed at the blonde human.

“Cameron, actually” He corrected. “But I guess you can call me Cam, I don’t care” He shrugged, making Y/N and Thomas roll their eyes.

“I’m Thomas” The brunette one said in a calm voice.

“My name’s Y/N”

“I’m Jake Sully, and I guess you already know Norm and Max” They nodded. “Okay, let’s get it done” The gazes of the three humans were now on the two younger Na’vi, Jake noticed this. “Oh yeah, these are my sons, Neteyam and Lo’ak” The two boys only nodded at them. “We’re not going to hurt you, we just want to ask you a few questions”

“We’ve heard of you” Y/N said to Jake. “Jake Sully, the one who betrayed his own race” The man made a face hearing the nickname humans gave him, but he regretted nothing. “I think what you did was brave” Y/N shrugged.

“Yeah, I would have done the same just to get away of those RDA bitches” Cameron said, gaining a laugh from Jake, Norm and Max.

“I know, they can be such dickheads, but I did it for a few more reasons” The oldest said thinking about his beautiful mate. “Anyway, let’s start, shall we?” They nodded. “How old are you?”

“21” The two boys said.

“19” Y/N answered.

“Alright, and how long have you been here?”

Cameron let a small smile out. “I don’t know, I guess just for a few hours, how long has been since we escaped the RDA?”

Y/N rolled her eyes. “Here on Pandora, not here with them, dumbass” Her gaze returned to Jake. “We’ve been here for like two and a half years, sir” She answered.

Jake noticed that neither did Cameron nor Thomas were taking the questioning seriously, so he asked if they can stay only with the girl.

“I’m sorry about them” She apologized once her friends were out of the room. “Thomas is a bit suspicious around everyone, and Cameron never takes things seriously”

“It’s okay, kid, don’t worry” Jake assured her. “But now, I need you to answer me everything I ask, ok?” She nodded. The scientists went outside too, only Norm and Max staying on the room with the Sully men and Y/N. “Now, why did the RDA kidnapped you?”

“They said it was because we had no one back on Earth, that no one would missed us or even noticed we are gone…” She started talking, feeling a wave of sadness through her body. “They were right, though, we have no one, so that’s why we are here, they never told us what we were going to do in Pandora, but we eventually found out”

“And what is that?” He asked.

“Being lab rats” She answered without hesitation. “They used us so they could test some serum, but they were never successful, every three days they came and injected some weird looking liquid, sometimes was painless, but sometimes it was so painful we eventually passed out”

Jake pursed his lips. How can some humans be such monsters, even with their own kind? “And do you know what that serum was supposed to do?”

Y/N nodded. “They told us just before your warriors attacked them” She confessed. “It’s supposed to make humans able to breathe Pandora’s air, no more oxygen masks ever again, but as I told you, the serum never worked until now, but I guess it didn’t work the way it was supposed to because we lost our breaths just a few minutes after”

“You’re correct. The serum didn’t worked well, you three arrived here with both lungs collapsed and unconscious, we work hard to stabilize you, but you’re okay for now” Norm mentioned.

“Both lungs collapsed?” Lo’ak asked. “That sounds dangerous”

“Because it is. It basically means the air escapes your lungs and fill the space between them and your chest wall, making even harder to breathe” Max explained the young Na’vi.

“So what now?” Y/N asked.

“Did you hear something else from the RDA people?” Neteyam asked, making his dad look his way.

Y/N shook her head no. “We were locked in cells for days, we only were able to exit them when they did their tests, we only talked to each other” She answered.

“So you think they will continue their tests without you?” The oldest Sully asked, looking at her with attention.

Y/N shrugged. “I mean, they still have Madison, she was with us every time a new serum was created, so I guess they’ll continue testing on her”

Jake pursed his lips. “So they’ll still have some advantage on us, if the sky people can breathe Pandora’s air, it will eliminate one of their weakest spots” It seemed that he was thinking about his next steps. “Okay, thank you very much, Y/N, now get some rest and let my friends here help you and your friends” He pointed to Max and Norm, who sent the girl a small smile.

Jake stood up and walk towards the door, Neteyam and Lo’ak following him. “It was nice to meet you” The youngest said to her just before crossing the door.

Neteyam only gave her a small nod and walked away.

“Well, that was something” She said making the two scientists laugh.

“I don’t know what you heard about Jake back in the RDA base, but he’s a good man” Norm said.

“I can tell already”

“For now, you should rest a few more days and try to get yourself better, and then we will try and figure things out, alright?” Max asked, Y/N nodded. “Alright then, see you later, Cam and Thomas will be here in just a few minutes”

“Ok”

“Dudeeee, what did they ask you?��� Cameron entered the room. “Are they going to kill us?”

Y/N nodded. “Yes, they will just wait till we get better and experiment some new things on us, and then they’ll get rid of us” She joked, Cameron face instantly deforming into a sad expression. “I’m kidding, oh my god”

“You’ve got me worried for a second”

“So, what did they actually wanted?” Thomas asked.

“They wanted to know what was our business with the RDA” She said. “They were nice, they told me we should rest for a few more days and then they will tell us what’s our destiny”

Thomas nodded. “I just wish they won’t throw us back to the RDA base, I would rather be left alone in the forest than put a foot in that base again”

“Yeah, same”

What they didn’t knew, was that the Sully men and the two scientists were listening to their conversation. “What do you think they did to them?” Max asked. “They seemed really scared to go back”

“I don’t know, but knowing the RDA system, those poor kids are traumatized for life” Jake replied, making his sons wonder what was the RDA capable of and what happened to those three humans.

A few days passed and Y/N was feeling way better, one of the Na’vis came to visit them daily.

“Sooo, what was Earth like?” The Na’vi boy asked. “My dad has always said it was a dying world, but he hasn’t been there in a while, maybe you can tell me more about it?”

Y/N gave him a small smile. “It may sound crazy, but I don’t remember very much of it. I mean, it wasn’t that long ago but it seems like everything I knew back there just erased from my memory, I barely remember my life then” She confessed. “Maybe Cam or Thomas can tell you more about it”

“More about what?” Cameron entered the room. “Oh, what’s up, Lo’ak?” He said towards the young Na’vi.

“More about Earth” Lo’ak answered. He was always curious about his dad and his human part unlike his older brother, who didn’t want to know anything about the sky people, Neteyam only closeness to the human world was learning English and being friends with Spider, and lately, coming once in a while to the lab and talk with Norm and Max.

“Oh” Cam said. “Actually, I don’t remember much of it, it’s kinda weird”

“You don’t remember either?” Y/N asked him, he denied. “It is weird”

“What is weird?” This time it was Thomas who entered the room. “Lo’ak, how have you been?”

“All good, thanks” He answered.

“Lo’ak asked us to tell him more about Earth, maybe you could elaborate more than us” Cam said to Thomas. “Maybe you remember better than us”

Thomas smile dropped. “Actually…”

Lo’ak raised an eyebrow. “You’re telling me that you don’t remember, aren’t you?” He said jokingly.

“Uhm, I do not remember much, actually” Thomas shrugged.

Lo’ak eyed up and down the three humans in front of him. “There is definitely something weird about that” He said. “How is it possible the three of you forgot almost everything that happened to you before getting kidnapped by the RDA?”

“Who forgot almost everything?” A fifth voice entered the room. It was Norm.

“It seems these three don’t remember a thing about Earth” Lo’ak spoke with a grin.

“It’s understandable. For what I know, it wasn’t a happy life you had back then, right?” The oldest one looked at them. “Maybe you suppressed some memories to protect yourselves”

Y/N nodded. “It’s not like that, Norm, at least speaking for myself, I do not remember a single thing” She said. “I mean, yeah, I know I didn’t have a perfect life and my parents weren’t the greatest, but I only know that because the RDA scientists kept saying that to me”

“What about you two?” He asked Cam and Thomas. “What do you remember?”

Cam looked at Thomas, noticing he wasn’t going to start speaking, so he did. “Same here, just the things Ardmore told us, that my mother died and I stayed with my father who wasn’t exactly father of the year”

“They told me my entire family died on a car crash and I was stuck in an orphanage” Thomas added.

“But you don’t remember anything at all?” Norm asked. “Anything besides what the RDA told you?” They shook their heads no. “Stay here, I’m going to order some tests to try and find out what they really did to you”

Norm left the room under the gazes of the three youngest humans and the Sully boy. “Aaand… we’re back again with the tests”

“Don’t worry guys, there no way Norm and Max can hurt you, trust me” Lo’ak finally spoke after being witness of the humans’ conversation. “I have to go, my dad said he wanted me home before eclipse or he will take my free time away and make me do some Olo’eyktan son shit” He stood up towering over Y/N.

“But you are the Olo’eyktan son” Y/N smiled at the Na’vi.

“Yeah, I’m aware of that, but that kind of task are always given to Neteyam, and let me tell you, they aren’t that fun, so I better run, I hope you can get your answers” He said while exiting the room. “Byeeee!”

“That guy is very chill, I wouldn’t have thought a native could be that nice” Cam said after a few minutes Lo’ak left.

“Yeah, well, that’s because Ardmore and her little soldiers always talked shit about the Na’vi” Y/N responded. “I don’t know how she can talk that bad about them but then go and make more and more avatars”

“I guess the RDA could really use the strength of the Na’vi combined with the training that human soldiers have” Thomas added.

The blonde one smiled mockingly. “Oh, and wait until their ‘final surprise’ wakes up”

“I forgot about that, they were always bragging about how the natives were done once the ‘final surprise’ woke up, what do you think it is?” Thomas asked genuinely concerned.

“I don’t think it is a ‘what’, I think it is more of a ‘who’” Y/N added. “I once heard them talking about that, but they kept saying that it was a ‘he’, so it’s a person”

“In that case, who do you think it is?”

Back on the village, Lo’ak arrived just in time. He found his older brother entering the hut as well. “What you’ve been up to, baby bro?” Neteyam asked, leaving his hunting gear on a corner.

Lo’ak shrugged. “Not much, I went to the lab”

“It seems you’re getting closer with the newcomers” The oldest said.

“I mean, why not? They are around our age, and Spider is there too sometimes”

“Boys, come help me serve dinner” Neytiri’s voice was heard all over the hut. The youngest Sully boys obeyed.

A few minutes later, the Sully family was eating dinner and telling each other about their days. “What did you do today, son?” Jake asked Lo’ak.

“I went to visit Norm and the newcomers” By the face Neytiri made, they all knew she wasn’t really happy with her youngest boy going there. “I learned something quite… interesting”

“What is it!?” Tuk asked excitingly.

Lo’ak let out a small chuckle. “It not exciting, Tuk Tuk, I’m sorry to disappoint” The youngest of the family made a pout. “I have some new information about what the RDA did to them”

“What is it?” This time was Kiri asking.

“I don’t know how, and I don’t know if it’s confirmed, but it seems they erased their memories” He let about. “The three of them don’t remember a single thing about Earth, only the things the RDA people told them, it was like they forgot all about themselves except for their names”

“That’s messed up!” Kiri said.

“It is, my girl, but that is just a taste of what the RDA is capable of” Jake told her with a soothing voice. “How do you know that, Lo’ak?”

“I asked them to tell me more about Earth…” Neytiri and Neteyam gazed at him, he only shrugged. “But they couldn’t remember a single thing”

“Is Norm informed about this?” The oldest Sully asked.

Lo’ak nodded. “Yeah, he overheard the conversation and said he was going to order some tests to find what really happened to them”

“I’m sure they’re thrilled to have some more tests” Kiri said sarcastically.

“Yeah, you bet” Lo’ak added.

“Hmm, I’m going to speak with Norm about this” Jake ended the conversation. “I need to get some things from the lab and since you just came back from there, it’s Neteyam’s turn to go” Jake instructed looking at his two sons.

Neteyam didn’t want to go. He didn’t like the lab very much, he preferred staying at the village and letting his brother go with the humans and avatars, but he couldn’t do anything. It was a direct order from his father and Neteyam knew better than disobey Jake.

“What do you want me to bring, father?” He asked trying to not show his annoyance.

“Just go, Norm knows what to do” He said. “Just don’t take too long, okay?” The youngest nodded and left the hut.

Neteyam walked for what seemed to him a long time, but he managed to arrive just in time before every human decided to go to bed.

“Hey Max” He greeted the scientist.

“Oh Neteyam! I didn’t expect to see you here, it is always your brother the one who is always around” Max greeted back with a smile. “What brings you here?” He asked.

“My dad send me to get some things” The Na’vi answered.

“Alright, what things?”

Neteyam shrugged. “I don’t know, he told me to ask Norm and he would know what to do” He looked round the place to find Norm, but was unsuccessful. “Have you seen him?”

Max nodded. “Yeah, he’s at the back, last door to your left”

“Alright, thank you Max” He said goodbye and started walking the way the scientist told him.

“How much more do you need, Norm?” Neteyam heard a voice while approaching the door. “Because I feel like this is a lot” He knocked, getting a “come in” in response.

He saw Norm writing some things in a computer. “Just a little bit more, Y/N” Norm responded to the girl sitting behind him.

Neteyam’s gaze shifted to the feminine voice. He saw one of the humans he and his brother brought to the clan. The girl, to be more specific. She was laying down in a hospital bed with a strange tube attached to her arm. A red liquid was coming out of her and straight to a plastic-looking bag. It was obviously blood. “I read the average amount of blood a human can lost is 500 mililiters… that looks way more than 500 mililiters”

“A human can lose a lot more blood, that number it’s just the average amount of blood that can be drawn before starting feeling a bit dizzy” He said while rolling his eyes. “Oh Neteyam, what brings you here?” Norm asked once he saw the Na’vi.

“My dad sent me to get something” He answered. “He told me you would know”

“Oh yeah, I remember now” Norm looked around trying to find something. “It’s not here, let me go get it” The scientist started walking towards the door, the male Na’vi following him.

“Don’t leave me here, Norm! I can bleed out!” Y/N said trying to get the needle out of her arm.

“Stop it Y/N, you’re not going to bleed out…” He looked around once again. “I’m not going to take a lot of time” He told her. “Neteyam, can you do me a favor while I go get what your father asked for?” Neteyam didn’t know what to say so he just nodded. “Please stay with Y/N and keep an eye on her… if you hear a sound coming from the machine, it means she can take the needle out”

Staying with the human? I don’t think so, Neteyam thought. “I could go look for it if you tell me where it is and you could stay with her” He suggested but Norm denied.

“You will not be able to reach it, please stay with her, I won’t take long” Norm said and exited the room.

“Wait Norm!” Y/N started saying but couldn’t finish her sentence as the scientist was far enough. She eyed the Na’vi up and down a couple of times, feeling a bit uncomfortable with his presence. “Sooo… you’re Lo’ak’s brother, right?”

Neteyam only nodded, watching the red liquid coming out of her body. He mentally questioned why was the reason this human girl had to get that amount of blood drawn out of her.

Y/N looked away, feeling more uncomfortable with the lack of response from the boy.

The machine emitted a sound, meaning the treatment was done. “I think you can get the needle out” He said harshly towards her. His accent making a little difficult to understand him.

“Yeah, I know, I heard Norm” She responded with the same tone the Na’vi gave her. Y/N took the needle out and instantly pressed a cotton pad right were the sharpened object was. She got up the bed and walked towards the door, wanting to finally get out and go to her own room, but once she opened the door she lost balance, stumbling a little.

Neteyam, who was right next to the door, managed to catch her before she fell right on the floor. “Oh, hm, thanks” Y/N said looking up to connect her gaze with the Na’vi.

“It’s ok, you’re a little clumsy, I see” He mocked watching the girl exit the room, but he didn’t noticed Y/N heard him.

“I’m not clumsy, blue guy” She said a little offended. “It’s just…” She couldn’t finish her sentence when her vision went cloudy and the dizziness took over her, losing balance once again. She sat on the floor waiting for the dizziness to finally disappear while the Na’vi watched her with curiosity.

“Are you okay?” He asked, towering over the girl. He was already much taller than her when she was standing, and now that she was sitting on the floor and the Na’vi still standing, she felt like an insect.

“Do I look okay?” She asked sarcastically making Neteyam smile. “Just… give me a minute and I’ll leave”

The boy towering her shrugged. “I don’t care if you leave or not, you live here anyway”

“Here, tell your father…” Norm finally arrived with some boxes on his hands. “Why are you there?” He asked when he noticed Y/N on the floor.

“I feel so dizzy, I can’t stand up without losing balance” She said. “I told you that was too much blood, Norm”

Norm rolled his eyes. “Who’s the scientist here, kid?”

“Yeah, whatever… please help me?”

Norm looked at Neteyam. “Here you have, take these to your father and tell him we’ll have more by next week”

“Thanks Norm” Neteyam thanked the human and started walking towards the exit.

“It was nice to see you around here, Neteyam” The scientist said with a small smile. He saw the boy grow up and not being able to watch him more often now was kinda sad.

“Same here, Norm” He looked back before exiting the base. “See you later, little clumsy human” He winked at Y/N and disappeared within the forest.

“Did he just call you…” Norm began to ask but Y/N interrupted him.

“Yes he did, and you will never tell anyone he called me that, okay?” She threatened.

Norm let out a small chuckle. “Yeah, whatever you say, little clumsy human, let’s get you to your room so you can have something to eat and regain strength”

A few more days had passed and Jake Sully accompanied by his two sons were entering the lab once again.

Lo’ak went instantly in search of Spider, Cam, Thomas and Y/N, while Neteyam stayed with his father.

“Norm, Max” He greeted the scientists. Neteyam did the same by gesturing ‘I see you’.

“Jake, Neteyam, what brings you here?” Max asked.

Jake began to walk around the table the two scientists were working. “Lo’ak wanted to see Spider so I took the chance to come get more supplies” The oldest answered. “What are you doing?” He asked watching all the blood samples and scientific instruments they were using.

“We recently took some blood samples from the new kids and we found a lot of things” Max explained.

“What kind of things?” Jake asked. “They seem important”

“The technology the RDA is using to create this syndrome in which humans can breathe Pandora’s air is very advanced, we fear they’ve working on some other things”

“Like what?” Neteyam asked.

“We still don’t know, that’s why we have to keep testing it” Norm replied.

Jake saw all the things on the table. “By doing what exactly?”

“We need to keep testing with these kids, now, I know they won’t be happy with this information, but we could gain a huge advantage on the humans, Jake.”

“So now what? They are going back to being just lab rats?” Neteyam asked kinda annoyed. He listened to the whole story the three humans told, as well as Max and Norm, and they still want to keep testing shit on them?

“It sounds bad when you say it like that, but it is necessary for the sake of the clan, we can learn what the RDA are up to and prepare ourselves if something happens and also we could outsmart them, we just need the cooperation of those three kids.”

“I’ll talk to them” Jake said.

Neteyam looked at his father in awe. Was he really gonna let that happen? Even when he knew the trauma that comes with being held captive by the RDA?

On the other hand, back in the RDA base, General Ardmore was absolutely horrified. “What do you mean by ‘We lost them’?” She asked some of the scientists.

“I’m sorry ma’am, but they are probably dead by now, the girl who couldn’t run away showed us that the serum was not ready yet, they probably collapsed a few seconds after they escaped” The man explained to her.

“You better pray to God they are already rotting, because if they somehow ended in Jake Sully’s hands, we’re screwed.” Her eyes wandered around the place until they met Madison, the poor girl who could escape. “Question her, I don’t mind what methods you use, but I need to make sure those three are really dead and I’m pretty sure she has some answers.”

The soldiers grabbed Madison by her arms and guided her to a questioning room. It was quiet at first, but her screams suddenly started to become more and more loud. Let’s just pray she didn’t see anything, cause if she did, the three humans back in the Na’vi reserve are in so much danger.

Tags: @myh3artttt @heart-an0n

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Tw: Amber heard and JD ment, intense guilt issues, idk if there needs to be any other tw, call me Wolf if that’s not taken so I can also find my ask later in the tags

I have so many abusers. About 20. Nobody believes I’ve ever been abused bc my abusers always had acted like we were good to everyone’s faces and the very few times my abusers did act out in public everyone seemed to just forget or just to my luck didn’t notice!

And they always had a say first in every interaction with other people or kids at school. I just never got to talk about my abuse story except online. But never to a friend. My abusers are all on the same page with abusing me and calling me a liar. Most of those 20 still use DARVO, still call me a liar about my rape and other abuse accusations. People think I’m crazy. Nobody loves me except God. And nobody is on my side except God. I genuinely have no human interactions.

And one of my abusers got together and recorded another abuser of mine, interviewing him, giving some sort of “testimony of how I abused him” when I really didn’t and my first abuser uses it to give to other people to say he’s “spoken with other victims” which is what I did when I recorded REAL victims of my abusers…. So stupid and I hate them all for it.

One of my abusers was 3 years younger than me.

Every thinks I’m the bully and the abuser and some usable worthless human when I’ve never done half the evil shit they’ve done in their lives to so many victims. I’ve never done any of what they behave like.

My relatives don’t even know my parents and brother are abusive and rapists. My abusive relatives all stick up for my abusive immediate family and say they’re great people when they’ve tortured me and raped me as a child. So many of my abusers also used rape and everyone says that women lie about being raped nowadays bc it’s the new thing abusive crazy women like AH do. Except AH wasn’t the abuser. Anyway. My image and reputation are ruined forever and I have to cut all contact with my family someday which I can do any day bc I moved out at 22 and so I can actually live my life but it’s a scary thought bc I feel so guilt ridden for it. And I don’t want to see my mother cry even though she abused me sm growing up even sexually, my whole immediate family was sexually and emotionally abusive. I don’t know how to not feel sui-guilt over this…

Hi Wolf,

I'm so sorry about what you've been through. Please know that we believe you, and you're not alone. It can be frustrating when our abusers are surrounded by people who enable and normalize their toxic behavior, and are seemingly oblivious in exacerbating the situation. It's similarly frustrating when people don't understand the gravity of the situation or find it important enough to even remember.

It's important to remember that it's possible for abusers to be younger than their victims because age gaps are not the only way that power imbalances are created. Things like socioeconomic status, intellectual or physical disabilities, and even fame can also create an uneven power dynamic.

Unfortunately it's common for abusers to use their social reputation or status to slander and silence their victims. Pitting everyone against their victims can make it easy for those victims to feel crazy and isolated. It can be incredibly damaging to deal with DARVO, and so it's important to make sure that your mental health is being taken care of. If you can access or afford it, a mental health professional such as a therapist can help you process your trauma, your experiences with DARVO and being gaslit, and develop healthy coping mechanisms to take with you on your healing journey.

It's also unfortunately become easy for abusers to weaponize AH to discredit other female abuse survivors. It can be especially difficult to feel comfortable speaking up about your experience in such a social climate. It may help to remember that the truth doesn't need people's validation to exist. As much as you have been made to feel otherwise, you know what really happened. You know your truth.

If anyone has any comments or suggestions, feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[waybrights]

sats au

this is kinda inspired by @tr0yb0lt0n0ffici4l social media au

so basically sasha was craving thai food

anne didn’t want to cook

so logically sash contacted anne’s parents

cause what else would she do ? she wants thai food DUHH

and they…just..came ?? and started cooking ??

(with sash and marcy helping around the kitchen of course ! )

marcy : don’t forget to add seasoning lol

sasha : don’t forget to burn the kitchen down

marcy :

they also kinda neglected anne lol

it didn’t bother anne tho cause why would she care that her two lov-BEST FRIENDS

would rather hang out with her parents or that her OWN parents like to talk to her friends more

she’s not jealous !!! she’s NOT !! seriously !!

not. totally. jealous. 

i just think those two would really love anne’s parents

given their (not so very good ) relationship with their own

anyways the boonchuys ended up spending the whole day there

and later that night while they’re all chilling in the living room sash just,,,brought a guitar ?? out of no where ??? and started singing ???? to anne’s parents??? (marcy joined in too lol )

anne internally: wtf is going on,,,y’all seein-what the f- huh??

basically sasha (and marcy ) kinda dedicated a song to them

titled : boonchuy (yeah not the most creative)

with lyrics like :

i didn’t like being 13

but i’d be 13 again

if it means

i’d get to hang out

at your restaurant

each day after school

you cooked my favorite food

you knew all of my interests

you asked about me

and not all the other stuff

you hugged me so tight

i think this is what love is ?

it wasn’t a totally finished song ( more so a demo)

they ended up refining it later

even preformed it on stage !!

specifically the show her parents attended

and obviously anne knows about the song and it’s lyrics

she heard them practice it ton , for frog sake !

she however wasn’t aware of one specific lyric

they only included on their live performance

one that caught her off guard

“thanks for giving us anne ( boonchuy) “

the idea came to me a week ago and

i kinda wrote it while half asleep

if i didn’t stop myself i would’ve wrote a whole ass song LMAOSJSJSJ

anon... anon omg im a Wreck... this is such a cute hc!!!!

i 100% feel like sasha and marcy are super close to anne's parents because their parents both Suck. and writing a song for them is definitely a way for them to thank them for everything they've done!!!

and they only perform it live fully once for anne's parents... omg thats so sweet <333 i feel like it would be one of their more emotional songs, and sasha does cry when singing it (it's like one of the only times the fans have seen her cry).

anne being so confused through the whole saga, but going a long with it anyway >>>>>

(she also got choked up when sasha and marcy sung that line, like i feel like that's when she realised that even after everything, they love her sm and she loves them just as much)

[ace-no-isha]

yes we can see it, but anonymous is turned off! idk if you meant to do that or not, but i wanted to let you know just in case!

anyways, how about 3, 12, and 16 for the ask game? :)

ahh thank you sm for letting me know, love!! i went and turned on anon on my laptop :,)

for the questions!

3. a specific color that gives you the ick?

probably neon orange. it’s just embarrassing to see people dressed in this color. it’s associated with construction work in the usa so like…why would a normal person wear that? 😭 i added the color for your viewing (dis)pleasure. i don’t think i have specific colors that i see in general and dislike besides this though. i feel like most colors can be made to work in an outfit or in nature or art or whatever it is.

12. brand of haircare/bodycare/skincare that you trust 100%?

haircare: hask! i love everything by them, but their argan oil products always leave my hair smelling good, soft and shiny :>

body care: dove for soap/body wash/deodorant and vaseline for body lotion. they’ve never done me wrong. my doctor recommended dove soap to my parents when i was little and had really dry skin :,)

skincare: paula’s choice! expensive but their skincare is so nice. their overnight masks and the unscrub cleanser are my religion 😭

16. thoughts on mint chocolate chip?

i used to hate it as a kid but now it’s just okay </3 i wish i liked it. there’s a lot of foods that are polarizing like pineapple on pizza that i don’t feel very strongly about actually 😅 or i just wish i liked more like raw tomatoes. they’re so good for you but they’re just not good to me unless they’re cooked </3

[deathtodickens]

About Ages Chapter 30

It's taking longer than anticipated, obviously, as I've spent the past month or so drawing a lot. My brain doesn't move well between the two things, writing a lot and drawing a lot. Or I haven't figured out how to get it to do that in a more time-efficient manner.

I've recently gone back into writing mode and figured it's been four years... almost five. I'll post some bits and pieces.

I am about 90% done with this chapter. It's the last stretch of 10 that I have to get through and that's taking some time.

If you're new to Ages, you can find it on AO3. It starts when Myka is nine years old and, in this latest chapter, Myka turns 21.

***

“I’m trying to take you away from this place so that I can be a certain way with you after three months of being away from you—"

“Be a certain way with me?”

“Have my certain way with you, actually. And you’re picking fights, long wordy fights, with your stepmother. I don’t want to sit through another lecture, Myka,” the irony, Myka thinks, as she is being lectured, “I want to steal you away from this place, undress you, and be this certain way with you. Then I want to fall asleep in your arms for twelve hours straight because I am physically exhausted, you are emotionally exhausted and, for once in our lives, I don’t have a flight to catch tomorrow.”

Myka hadn’t even thought about how much time they might not have until now. She hadn’t even thought to ask. She just assumed it wouldn’t be enough because it never is enough. There is never enough time for them to just be.

Helena has Myka backed against the inside of her bedroom door. She is stunned by Helena’s need to take control of this situation, or just pretending to be stunned. What she truly is, is tired and she doesn’t have the energy to fight for that control. She is happy to leave all of this, Helena’s certainties about ways in which she wants to be with Myka, in her very capable and long-missed hands.

For the first time, in a long time, Helena is grasping at Myka’s hips, moving searching hands around Myka’s waist. And Myka is reflecting on the way Helena’s hands move around her, holding her tight, pulling their hips closer together. The way Helena doesn’t move her hands any lower than the small of her back. The way Helena putting limitations on her own access to Myka’s ways is still giving Myka all of the control.

There is so much warmth, desire, and pleasure, even in this small touch. In Helena’s need to hold herself back for the sake of Myka’s comfort.

“Helena,” comes out a breathy exasperation between Myka’s lips. She doesn’t mean to say it this certain way, she’s just exhausted all over. And after all of that whatever it was with Jane, there is very little else that Myka wants to say.

All of the fighting and arguing puts her in a really bad place but it also puts her in exactly the place for this situation. This certain way Helena is trying to be with her. Where Myka gives up control to Helena and allows herself to be taken care of, rather than doing all of the care taking.

“I realized something in these last three months we’ve been apart,” Helena says softly. “You’re always doing all of the talking. I can never get a word in edgewise. For a girl who never used to say a word to me, it’s funny that you’re always the one talking now. Telling me why we don’t work, reminding me why we’re not together, avoiding my touch.”

“I’m not avoiding your touch,” Myka smiles, “I just prefer to be the one doing the touching.”

Helena squints at her but doesn’t respond to that. “You know what else I realized?”

Helena is close enough to kiss and Myka tries to do just that, but Helena pulls away with a smile, biting down on her lip.

“I don’t tell you enough how beautiful you are.”

Myka laughs. “You have me confused with the other, actually pretty daughter, in this family.”

“I definitely do not have you confused with your little sister, Myka,” Helena says this suddenly serious, annoyed, rolling her eyes.

Myka shakes her head and huffs out a breath of amusement.

Helena squints at her again and tilts her head and that’s beautiful, that gesture, the expression that pretends to be annoyed by anything Myka does. She is the beautiful one. There’s no reason both things cannot be true but Myka doesn’t believe herself to be beautiful. Certainly not more so than so many of the people Helena has known and loved. Not enough to even compare.

“That you think I’m joking is only further motivation to prove to you that I am, in fact, not.”

“I believe that you believe it,” Myka whispers, testing Helena’s commitment to this fantasy, “doesn’t make it true.”

Helena sighs. “You are beautiful, Myka. More and more beautiful every time I see you. Even when you’re frustrated and feeling vulnerable. Like now.”

Myka looks away.

“I know you don’t want to hear this, but I think you were right about not knowing how you’d feel, about your father’s death. You were right, more than you expected to be. You didn’t know how you’d feel then. You don’t know how it’s impacting you now. But I think it’s hitting you in a way you can’t easily see or… don’t want to.”

“Maybe you just think too much?”

“Maybe Jane was right about you hurting the people you love the most?”

Myka looks away again but says, “Why should it hit me at all? I’m not sad he’s gone.”

“Who said anything about you being sad, Myka? It could be anything. Frustrated? Lost? Untethered?” Myka laughs at that last suggestion. It could almost be true. It’s the closest, she thinks, any word has come to explaining how she feels right now even if she’s a little bit offended by the implication Warren still has that much control over her. “And how could it not impact you? He was your father.”

Myka inhales deeply.

“Why else would you treat Jane the way you did?”

“I didn’t treat her any kind of way,” Myka’s eyes are back on Helena now. Challenging. “She’s drinking and picking fights.”

“Myka. You called her an alcoholic, in so many words, over a glass of wine. You accused her of not loving your mother enough to want to be with her. You told her to break up with her. Jane? I grew up admiring the love she has for your mother, I know you saw it, too. I know that you know it’s different.”

“You’re not here, Helena, you wouldn’t know. They’ve been arguing a lot.”

Helena puffs out a small laugh, lowering her head for a moment. Causing all of those too-short bangs to fall into her face.

“Because arguing with someone means that you don’t love them,” Helena says as Myka reaches up to push Helena’s hair back behind her ear.

“That’s probably how they lost Claudia.”

“Is that what you think?” Helena asks, her gaze moving back up. Myka doesn’t acknowledge that question. “Is that part of the reason for this?” Helena asks, pointing to Myka’s forehead and setting a gentle finger over a crinkle of frustration. “Because you think they’re to blame for Claudia being away?”

“You’re not here,” Myka repeats softly, bringing her hands to Helena’s shoulders, not knowing where else to place them.

“I know,” Helena whispers, her hold on Myka’s waist tightening, pulling them closer together, “and I’m sorry for that. I will never stop being sorry for leaving you.” Their foreheads come together, the tips of their noses touch. “Can I kiss you?”

Myka doesn’t know why she asks. Why she thinks she needs to but because she does, because whatever she’s trying to do with or to Myka would swiftly translate into her winning this discussion, (and Myka’s sure this is, somehow, a race) Myka says, “No.”

Helena smiles at that answer. At the force behind its delivery.

Myka doesn’t expect Helena to step back, to completely remove her hands from Myka’s waist, or her lips from their proximity to Myka’s lips. Helena takes a whole step back and leans against the wall adjacent to Myka’s bedroom door.

“Myka, we both know that you can argue with someone you love without falling out of love with them. It sounds like Jean and Jane are just under a lot of stress. Your mother is grieving, and Jane is just trying to give her space to do that. Even if she’s a little hurt that your mother still has this connection with your father.”

Myka sighs her frustration.

“See? Frustrated. And beautiful.”

“I’d be less frustrated if you weren’t trying to make out with me while having a deeply emotional conversation about all three of my parents.”

Helena smiles and blinks ever so slowly and says, “I’m sorry,” followed by, “did you mean it?”

“Mean what?” Myka moves to lean her side against that wall, too, still facing Helena.

“No kiss?”

“In thirteen years, have I ever meant it?”

“You’ve never said it to me before.”

Myka sighs and turns so that her back is against the wall now, “You already kissed me. So why are you asking now?”

“It’s called consent, Myka.”

Myka turns to Helena with an annoyed look and tells her to shut her pretty mouth.

“I’m not trying to be funny,” Helena says, even as she is laughing. She reaches a hand down toward Myka’s leg and extends a single finger to touch, gently, the skin just below Myka’s dress. Myka can see beyond the warmth and the desire now. She can see that there is fire in Helena’s eyes. That she has been waiting, far longer than those three months since they’d last seen each other, to be here with Myka, like this. “I mean it. And I’m asking because it won’t just be a kiss.”

Myka saves her the trouble, for now.

She moves in, with her back still against the wall, closer to Helena and presses a light kiss to the other woman’s lips. It reminds her of a time in high school, when they would stand this way outside of Vanessa’s class waiting for the bell to ring. Myka had only dreamt of what this might feel like back then, to have the nerve to be in control, to kiss this very woman who stands before her, without hesitation or intimidation.

As they part in the present, more of Helena’s fingers extend to the skin of Myka’s leg, just below her dress. Reaching and curling toward black fabric. Lifting the edge of her dress up.

“So you ask for a kiss,” Myka smiles, “but you cop a feel with no warning?”

Every hint of Helena’s teasing smile is gone now. She is looking back at Myka with a burn in her eyes that Myka hasn’t seen in years.

“I’m sorry,” Helena says again, softly.

Myka doesn’t know why she keeps apologizing. Why this is a thing she suddenly does, and with such ease, now. Helena clears her throat and removes her touch from Myka’s leg and Myka instantly regrets saying anything at all. That playful mood of Helena’s has slipped entirely away. Disintegrated before her eyes.

Helena stands straight and moves herself in front of Myka.

“I don’t know how to ask you what I want to ask of you, so I’m just going to say what I think will best relay what it is that I want.” Myka waits, brow arched, as Helena leans in close to whisper, eyes closed, almost against Myka’s lips. “I’ll go slow and you tell me when you want me to stop.”

Myka grins as she plucks a perfect memory from the recesses of her mind. She tells Helena, just as softly, just as close, “Someone once told me we don’t have to be so cryptic about sex.”

“You can’t take the dress off.”

“Wait, are you just turned on because I’m wearing a dress?”

Helena says nothing but puts a few inches of space between them, bites down on her lower lip.

“For the record, I’m not judging you. It’s just new,” Myka thinks, “because I don’t ever wear a dress.”

“I won’t lie to you. And you did wear a dress at Jeannie’s wedding. But you took it off before we had reconciled entirely.”

“Wow,” Myka’s smile grows wide, thinking back to where they were just three months ago, “you were undressing me with your eyes during Jeannie’s wedding, weren’t you?”

Helena is quiet and staring again.

“I’m not a toy, Helena.” Myka teases.

“Oh, shut your beautiful mouth.”

[abbacchios-sunflower]

Welcome Aboard Part 2

The second half of my collab with @dongiovannaswife ! Thank you so much again Lena for doing this with me, I had sm fun! <3<3 ^o^

*****

“Sooo, what’s he like anyways? Your boss? Giorno you said his name was?”

 “Hmm? Oh, yeah, Giorno’s a fair guy, really smart, kinda scary to most people who meet him for the first time, but he’s one of my best friends, great guy,” Mista leaned back in his seat, arms folded, knees crossed as he looked to Marissa. “To be honest I don’t know why he needs bodyguards, his stand is probably the scariest thing I’ve ever seen.”

 “Hmm, I see,” she looked out the window as they drove on what felt to be forever. “He’s kind of mad I got involved, huh? Is he even going to like me? I’d rather not get shot in the head for walking in on mafia business, you know?”

 Bruno closed his laptop, tucking it away as they were going to be arriving soon, “Just like Mista said, he’s a very fair guy, we’ve known him for a long time now; he’s just very protective over his famiglia and doesn’t like civilians getting tied up in our business, doesn’t think it’s right. I’m sure he’ll be very welcoming when meeting you.”

 “Yeah; exactly! It’s not like it’s your fault you almost got sliced up by that dickwad we were chasing!” Narancia interjected.

 Fugo rolled his eyes, “Yes well, you didn’t have to be such a blabbermouth and tell her we were the mafia, Giorno has the biggest problem with you doing that if anything.” He looked across to Marissa as well, “he’ll probably ask questions about your stand, what your intentions are, you’ll be fine, try not to worry too much about it, all of us here got roped into the mafia at young ages and we did just fine,” the blond checked his phone.

 Well, yeah, of course it was easy to tell someone not too worry when this has been your norm for like, ten years. The newcomer folded her arms, stretching her legs out in the back seat of the car. “Alright I guess.” Maybe she was starting to regret the decision to come. When her parents had said to “branch out and meet new people'', but this probably wasn’t what they meant, oh well she was kind of stuck in the situation now, might as well see where this all goes. Worse case scenario she probably would just go back home.

 “Just be grateful you don’t have to do the lighter test to get your stand and we discontinued that kind of stuff; that was so nerve wracking, I thought I was a goner!!” Narancia rubbed his neck nervously.

 “Lighter test?”

 “It’s how things used to be done, though some of us already had our stands by the time we joined, you see,” Bruno had explained. “Mista and Abbacchio both had manifested their stands by the time I had found them, not everyone needs to pass the arrow’s test to get one. It’s a topic Giorno and his family are highly interested in actually.”

 “Oh?” Marissa looked to Abbacchio who was sitting in the front seat. In the few days she had known these five men; it was probably him that she knew least of. He was even more closed off and disgruntled than Fugo, barely speaking a word to her unless they were bickering about something.

 “Hey guys, maybe you shouldn’t be telling her everything about us, she’s still an outsider in case you forgot about that; I doubt Giorno would like you guys running your mouths more than you should, he’s already probably pissed,” the goth grumbled, looking back from the passenger’s seat.

 Bruno has a teasing smirk, leaning back, “And since when you were so interested in obeying what Giorno says? Hmm? I thought you liked being difficult with him.”

 “You’re just lucky he always trusts your judgment, Consigliere, or else he probably wouldn’t have even wanted to meet her,” Abbacchio sarcastically snapped back. Bruno had rolled his eyes.

 “You’re still just sore that I didn’t tell you about why I brought him into Passione in the first place all those years ago,” Bruno chuckled, “but that’s a story for another time, perhaps Giorno would like to tell you himself,” the leader pleasantly smiled. “Now, we’re almost there,” he regained Marissa’s attention. “I don’t care what you’ve heard from any of us, you’re going to refer to him just as Don Giovanna, okay?” she nodded stiffly. “I take it we can trust you to be respectful?”

 “Hmm? Oh yeah, of course!!” she straightened up in her seat; the anxiety was definitely setting in now. This was probably— definitely a mistake. How did she always get into weird and scary messes with people?

 *****

 The estate was huge, yeah; surely the Don of the mafia and his most trusted men stayed there. Mista was the one to open the door first and stroll on in, followed by the others. “We’re baaaaack!” He loudly announced. “Oh Trishy? Did ya miss us?!” He confidently smirked as footsteps approached.

 “I’ve been wondering when you would be back, I’m still bummed out I didn’t get to go…” a young woman with pink hair slowly came to a stop as she looked past the men, seeing the shorter woman with them. “Dio mio- when I said to bring me back a souvenir, I didn’t mean kidnap a local!” She folded her arms, narrowing her eyes at the gunslinger.

 “Relax, she just got caught up in our bullshit, she’s a stand user and Bucciarati was interested in her stand and thought Giogio would be too, said he wanted to meet her when we were on our way over!”

 “Speaking of that, I already finished the reports from this job, we burned down the warehouse, not a trace of the drugs left, same with Emiliano,” Fugo held up a small folder.

 The young woman’s face relaxed more as she exhaled, taking the file and extending a hand to the newcomer, “Trish Una, I know how it feels to get swept up into trouble by these assholes, they don’t bite though, I promise, well, maybe Abba will if you provoke him enough, but he’s a bit of a softy under the fangs,” she smirked when Abbacchio looked disgruntled by the use of the nickname and teasing in front of the other woman who was smirking back at him now.

 “Abba, huh?” she raised a dark eyebrow, smirking as well.

 “That’s just “Abbacchio” to you, brat,” he snapped back.

 Rolling her eyes, she ignored the threat and took Trish’s hand, “Marissa, but uh, you guys can just call me Mar, all my friends do, it’s easier in my opinion,” she tilted her head back and forth. “So are you, like, a stand user too?”

 “Got that right, most of us are,” Trish pulled her hand back, gesturing to follow her, “come on, they’re right this way! They’ve been expecting you!”

 “They?” Mar blinked.

 “Oh, of course, the Donna will be there too naturally, she’s a lovely lady, Giorno’s lucky to have her for sure. She’s very interested in you too; I’m sure you guys will be great friends if you’re to stay with us! Also, we better get you Italian lessons if that’s gonna happen, luckily a lot of us speak English pretty well too,” Trish stopped talking and turned to face a set of doors, knocking twice. “Don Giovanna, Bucciarati is back, Fugo already finished his reports.” She announced.

 “And is she with them?” A male voice came from behind the door.

 “Right next to me!” Trish replied.

 “Well, send her in then.”

 *****

 Trish Una turns to Mar, a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes directed on her way as she opens the door, holding it open for her. “Good luck.” She mouths right when Mar walks by her side, closing the door at her back.

 The office looks like a lawyer’s would; bookshelves around the room are filled with all kinds of books; from astrology to philosophy, biology, medicine, math. All the knowledge the human race had cultivated through centuries seemed to rest there, in a silent office where only the light of the window pooled in, illuminating it just in the right amount.

 “Please take a seat, would you like something to drink?” a feminine voice, soft and gentle, breaks the silence.

 Marissa’s head snaps towards the source of the sound.

 In the couch where the sunlight is gentler, a woman sits, a glass of liquor suspended between her fingers. Her short black dress hugs her figure in a comfortable way —and the dark purple cloak resting on her shoulders, huge and almost drowning her makes it clear the garment is not hers, both from its size and the cut.

 Her red lips curl upwards in a genuine kind smile when Marissa and her make eye contact.

Nodding her head, her curls move along her head, strangely giving her that aura of mysteriousness. “Don’t be shy.”

 “Sit down.” the male voice is there again, this time, coming from the desk. Just when Marissa looks on, a blond man stands up, all six foot six of him towering and blocking the sunlight from the window. As he moves on, his features and figure become clearer: short blond hair that reaches the nape of his neck, piercing green eyes and lips in a tight line, and a strong, imposing built. Hands inside the pockets of his burgundy suit —the black shirt underneath the suit jacket glistens with something underneath, a shape unknown to most —but to him, the rumble of the arrow lets him know this is a stand user standing before him.

 “We were told about the incident.” He starts, not expecting an answer from her until he rounds the couch, coming to sit down besides his wife and circling her shoulders with one arm as the other extends forward, signaling her. “And we wanted to talk about it.”

 Mar nods, quickly walking in and sitting down at the couch before the couple.

 Their glances feel like an ice cube and a flame at the same time but even then, she still finds the courage to look at them in the eyes before centering her attention in a spot above their heads, where her voice doesn’t quiver when she speaks.

 “I was the one who asked,” she starts, quickly correcting herself as her fingers fiddle with her clothes. “I wanted to know what it was —just a part, because the rest was obvious.”

 Giorno hums, “First things first, what’s your name?”

 Marissa gulps down, feeling the man’s gaze harden when her reply doesn’t come immediately; naturally, one would expect this question to be answered right there.

 “Marissa.”

 Giorno nods, curtly: all business. “Well then, nice to meet you. She’s my wife and the Donna of the famiglia —I suppose you already know who I am, don’t you?”

 Lena nods, raising her glass shortly —making the Don tone it down. “Please make yourself at home.”

 “Thank you, Don, Donna.”

 “Now,” Giorno doesn’t let silence settle in, “There is something we need to talk about first; we have a strong policy to not get civilians involved in our… Matters. You were a special case, and before we start, you’re totally free to choose and swear silence over this. If you do, you can go home right now, and you won’t talk about this —not the police, not your family, not your lover, no one at all. Is that what you want?”

 Marissa opens her mouth to reply when Lena raises a hand up, her palm open and exposed towards her —perhaps a blind body language sign.

 “Think about it. We won’t go anywhere.”

 And this time the rest is silence.

 As Marissa’s head spins with thoughts and questions, her eyes go back and forth between the couple and the literal library around them, the sound of birds chirping outside and the water in the fountain falling. The distant sound of male laughter and the following hush to it.

For fucks sake, she had come here without a purpose. It was all a mere impulse to go out and explore, find new things, meet people perhaps.

 But the Italian mafia was a whole other level of her mom’s phrase. It was crazy.

  “Listen,” she says, making the couple’s ears peek immediately as they look back from each other’s faces —their quiet conversation forgotten immediately. “If you’re trying to embed another question about my reason to be here I’m gonna be sincere with you, I don’t know what I want from this, but I’m not your enemy. Hell, I’m just a girl from a damn boring town.”

 Giorno nods, tilting his head to the side slightly. “That does answer one question, but not the other.”

Marissa sighs, “I want to stay.”

 “Why?” Lena shoots back, leaning forward to place her glass into the coffee table. The liquor left there is now ignored.

 “I don’t know.” Marissa repeats, trying to bite back her annoyance —she had already said it.

 Lena hums, a sweet smile making its way into her lips; the situation makes it feel like a venomous one. “Mar,” she stops for a second, giving her the time to correct her in case the nickname does not match her taste. “There is always a reason for everything; you want to stay, and there must be a reason for it. Everyone here has one.” She gestures around with one hand, recalling some of their most loyal men. “Loyalty, money, a lost cause, redemption, a golden heart. Everyone has a reason; and all of them are valid. As long as the interests match, then there is no way we won’t let you in.”

 Giorno’s gaze comes back from outside, a solution on the back of his mind. “Let’s do something; we will proceed with your test,” if he noticed Mar’s stiff shoulders at the word ‘test’ he played an excellent act when he didn’t react to her reaction. “And by the time we’re done, the last question will be your reason to be here.”

 “Sounds good,” Lena speaks up. “Shall we start, then?”

 Mar hums, gulping down.

 “What are your views on law and justice? Is it true or just another circus?” Giorno leans back, chest puffed out in pride.

 Mar huffs, almost rolling her eyes. Now that she has found her physical reactions don’t seem to have an effect on them, the will to be herself comes back slowly but surely. “Money. If you have the money, then there is no way you’ll put a foot in jail; no one will be able to find out about your actions, unless you want them to.”

 “And what if you don’t have the money and you are not the culprit but you find yourself in jail?”

 “Then… Someone who doesn’t want you out there got you there with their influences.”

 “I see,” Giorno nods, eyes falling into the window once again. Thoughtful. “What would you do to escape if you found yourself in that position?”

 “Let’s be real, any person who knows about this kind of business will be killed in no time: the news and the police will say they took their own lives. But we all know the government doesn’t want to be seen as a traitor to the people they swore justice and truth to. So they will kill them and make it seem like a suicide, they will pay and eliminate anyone who dares say otherwise,” Mar looks up, almost as if looking into the white celling will give her the answers. “The only way to escape is paying, as I said before, anyone will do whatever they can to grasp a few more bucks into their hands, even if that means letting go someone important under the lie of an escape.”

 Lena nods, a small smirk tugging at her lips. “But… Most people in the government are there because some of them have been put there by us.”

 Mar nods, humming along. “And that’s why you’ll probably never find yourselves there, because those men are working for you. They owe you one, that’s it.”

 Giorno turns to Mar, smirking slightly. “That’s right. Then, next question —Will you commit murder? Whatever your impulse is from these two; orders or will, never from liking —would you do it? And who would it be?”

 Mar’s lips end up pressed together for a moment —her eyes go around the room until her sight falls outside; the sun is gone, hidden by grey clouds. Even the birds have gone silent. The only sound is the water fountain still working.

 Looking on, Mar stares into Giorno’s eyes, then into Lena’s, replying in a firm, concise tone. “Well, as far as the rich and powerful that get away with horrific crimes? Anyone who takes advantage of the weak? I don’t care about what happens to them and I’d gladly set them on fire without thinking twice if given the opportunity.”

 The couple before her don’t reply, turning to look at each other —right there, Mar can see the deep connection between them, as the simple glance into each other’s eyes proves to be enough to communicate; only a small smile from Lena and her nod, and Giorno turn to her again.

“That does actually match with our interests —you’ve got one point there.”

 Lena nods, speaking up. “Next question, Mar, and this one is my favorite; are we born good or evil? Do we turn evil, or perhaps good, as time goes by?”

 Mar nods to herself, replying shortly after —eyes going between them in a simple conversational gesture, out of nervousness or insecurity. Despite the topic, it already seems like everyone there is comfortable with each other’s presence. “As far as that whole debate, well, everyone has some kind of baggage; people are just people. You have to make the conscious decision every single day of what kind of person you want to be. People who come from bad homes either choose to rise above it and be ‘good’ or they’ll choose to use it as an excuse to hurt others because they were hurting. Regardless, yeah, at the end of the day, there’s always a choice that has to be made.” She shrugs her shoulders a little.

 Giorno nods, humming low. The sound spark’s Mar’s attention.

 But his last question is not expected.

 “Usually, we ask more, but you’ve surprised us —last question; what is your will, if you ever form part of the famiglia?”

 After a moment of hesitation, considering all the previous answers she had given, she looks back up, finally thinking she had a solid, cohesive answer to give. “To be honest I’ve been kicked around all my life, I was never taken seriously, I hated being ignored, and in turn I hate seeing others face injustice. I even considered a job in criminology at one point; my dad always thought I should have been a lawyer or went to work for some behavioral analysis unit, ya’know, FBI stuff,” she licks her bottom lip as she starts off. “But like I said earlier, it’s all corrupt at some level, the law, all the red tape and bullshit rules, that’s why I stopped trying to pursue the idea of becoming a profiler, it frustrated me to see people manipulating the system.”

 Letting a few beats go, she continued on, “That said, one might say I have a moral flexibility problem and I don’t like playing by rules that are designed to protect the corrupt, my ideals of justice aren’t really what the government is interested in. Sadly, for me, that means I’ve never really fit in anywhere, never had much of a plan after I realized I couldn’t stick with a job I had thought I wanted.” She looked down at her feet again, “That’s why, when I ran into your guys pursuing that drug dealer this week, I guess I figured it was a sign that maybe there could be a place for me, after all, it doesn’t seem like any of you had much success being on the side of government or law enforcement.”

 Folding her arms, she looked back at the Don of Passione, “I guess that’s why I want in; if you guys could find a place and purpose being here, why not me too?”

 Giorno’s eyes bore into Marissa’s, cold and empty of anything but plain green pools accentuated with yellow bits.

 The Donna leans back as a single chain enveloped in red energy emerges from her palm. It flicks, filling the room with the sound of clicking metal.

 Rising a hand up just when one of the chain’s links rests there, surrounded by a brighter tone of red, turning orange briefly just when another hand, humanoid and clearly not hers, but her stand’s, touches the object, producing a creak that echoes and bounces around the walls.

 And as soon as it came it’s gone; the sound, the stand’s arm and its glow, everything’s gone and now, in the Donna’s palm rests an insignia. She leans forward now, with Giorno’s eyes on both women as he watches the moment through proud and calm eyes.

 “Welcome, Marissa. Wear this and serve loyally for our cause, which is just.”

Giorno speaks up just when Marissa leans forward to take the insignia, “You will be assigned to an area with a Caporegime, and will work for them, understood?”

 Marissa nods, taking the insignia from Lena’s palm. “Understood, boss.” She looks down at the golden object —it’s not that heavy, but it does have a certain weight, taking in consideration it’s apparently made of pure gold; the arrow that crosses the small button has what seems to be an insect, whose form is palpable.

 “Please, wait outside; we’ll send someone to lead you into an apartment soon. And Mar?”

 Mar stands up, freezing and turning back to the Donna. “Yes, boss?”

 “I can assure you you’re part of this now, you’re not an outsider anymore.” 

 Mar nods, sighing in something she can’t say —turning around, she doesn’t fail to notice the sun back again, the birds flying out the mansion’s garden and the fountain still there, functioning as if nothing happened. Where a world keeps going, her world seems to stop; or maybe time passes slower, she couldn’t know what was it, but everything felt different the moment she closed the door at her back.

[lexicals]

EPISODE NOTES COMING AT YOU RIGHT NOW RIGHT NOW

THIS EPISODE CLEARED MY SKIN WATERED MY CROPS CURED ALL MY MENTAL ILLNESSES YOU KNOW. ALL THAT GOOD STUFF

LESBIANNSSSSSS

This first part is as usual gonna be completely out of order. Anyway

VESPA WAS SO SOFT THIS EP ;; I lover her sm I love her and buddy I love them communicating I love vespa comforting buddy who is allowing herself to be vulnerable for once

Speaking OF, aside from just the fantastic character development for buddy and the point abt her being a narcissist needing to listen to Her Own Goddamn Advice

The parallels between her and nureyev were more prominent than EVER this episode!! Jet suggesting that she leave him in command!! Her bit about her persona only ever having been a mask!! Saying that she's one of the best equipped people to spot an act in progress because she's done it herself for so long!! The obsession with being Good Enough and keeping up that flawless persona!! LIKE MOTHER LIKE SON GIVE ME THIS CONTENT

NUREYEV HATERS GET WRECKED

He had so much good shit this episode. First of all he actually sounded like capital N Nureyev, not ransom or anyone else. Second of all he was so willing to put himself in harm's way for this heist!! He's acting so much like he was when he was younger, desperate to get the job done, insisting he can do it even when it's obvious he's overreaching because he wants it so badly

SPEAKING OF JUNO GETTING HIS SHOOTING ABILITY BACK AAAAAAAAA

I'M SO PROUD OF HIM. HE SOUNDED SO HAPPY. HE SOUNDED SO EXCITED

Also vespa calling nureyev selfish and saying that she bets he's never sacrificed anything in his life?? When I say I shouted OUCH out loud jesus christ

Like okay do I think the debt subplot is gonna come to a head next episode (juno's episode)?? Absolutely. Do I think that nureyev is gonna try to make a break for it with the four items now that they've finished the heist? YUP. Do I also think he's doing it because he's scared and is trying to do as little harm as possible while trying to protect himself? YEAH.

His speech about symbols being all anyone has and just,, ooooof god. God. Someone give this poor man a hug

Also he deffo stole the knife right at the end there huh. "Lost" my ass

Juno being a fucking first rate detective once again mr steel I love you I love you you dumb whiny baby

I love buddy and vespa being so jokingly disparaging of them all T~T They're family and they give each other shit and they love each other!!

Vespa called juno by his name!! Not by steel!! Admittedly I'm p sure it was only to buddy but Still

"You're not the only one on this ship with medical secrets" vespa???? Hello????? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

Nureyev quoting buddy's line from the end of man in glass a YEAR after she said it to him and after he spent all of MiG quoting mag?? One hit KO to my heart. She's as much a parent and mentor to him as mag ever was and I need SO much more content of the two of them bonding & being mother & son

I definitely need to listen to this ep again at LEAST once. Jesus. Spent the whole thing bouncing up and down and screaming. In fact I think I have given myself a headache by overheating my brain so I will add more to this Later

Thoughts after the fact:

What vespa was saying about nureyev acting differently..... could be read as him being nervous but I can't help but think with him having been talking in his own voice all episode, what if he just wasn't putting up a persona? I don't think it would be much of a leap to think that nureyev in actuality is much quieter than the personalities he wears, but idk, just a thought

This is further to discussions that were had on the tpp adults server but uhh juno is So smart and should have been listened to earlier not just in this episode, but like going back to part one he's been pointing out buddy's questionable decisions she's made to put off this heist for almost the whole year!! Listen to juno challenge cb crew smh

I know..... that jet has been lined up as buddy's successor...... but like idk I feel like that's not a role that suits jet rly?? Yes, he's calm and steady and logical but he doesn't have buddy's strategic mind or charisma, and yes I am saying this because nureyev does and I want this to be plot relevant besides making for interesting parallels

LET NUREYEV TAKE UP THE MANTLE 2020

Second listen notes:

I just. Love buddy sm the way she speaks is so fun to listen to

“How are your children? Which is to say your car”

Nureyev is like, legit so loyal to buddy? He defends her a lot and clearly respects her immensely. Pls kabert can we have mother and son bonding

Buddy and jet’s relationship....... I cry I cry I cry

Like I literally cannot pick out my fav lines from this ep bc there’s SO many of them I’d just be quoting the whole thing

I love. Hearing buddy and vespa just talking though. Ragging juno and nureyev, being sweet with each other, laughing together..... vespa being like “one thing first - I love you :>” healed me

“If our places were switched, what would you say to me?” [CRYING CAT EMOJI]

Juno’s little “Yes, yes! Yes” just, T~T

The fact that buddy gets her advice referenced from every crew member...... jet, vespa, nureyev, and then rita..... not juno though? Idk if that’s because we just haven’t heard from juno yet or ??? idk. Weird though

Listen not to go back to this but jet does NOT sound like he wants the captain role...... and like, even on a meta level I’m not so sure he suits it but like buddy says he hates it when she says it and LET NUREYEV SUCCEED BUDDY 2020

Vespa is so excited abt the prime ;; Like SO excited, which is so sweet, but also I’m very very interested in that writing on the bottom

She’s so SOFT with buddy as well, and so calm...... I’m cry I’m cry she’s just like “okay, so you’ve got a problem, let’s fix it then”

“We’ve all had to put up with juno and ransom [acting like newlyweds] long enough” YELL. The fond family ragging of it all but also jupeter confirmed for completely insufferable

Couple of additional things:

I find.... nureyev’s little speech abt symbols and stuff rly interesting. Idk my running theory abt his debts is that his name is being used as leverage against him with the stipulation being “if you don’t pay, we’ll release your name and face to the public” meaning not only will he be in danger, but brahma as well, if we assume that the GAS has been deactivated since he left. The symbol he left behind is the only thing keeping the citizens of brahma safe - and not even that tbh, it’s only providing the illusion of safety, if this is actually the case. Idk I really wanna get my hands on the script now I think that speech says a lot abt his mental state rn

WHO ELSE ON THE CREW HAS MEDICAL SECRETS VESPA?

I don’t like the sick nureyev theory tbh but ):

[seijorhi]

asks :)

i love the post fic bundle of asks 🥺

WHO WAS THE SOULMATE???? ASDFHFHJFKFLF DID YOU MENTION IT? DID I MISS IT? The rolling coaster of emotions was too much sooo I think I might have missed it????

but if it was not mentioned, i'd like to think that it might be iwa or the other guys or gahhh, what if it was a rival????? I believe nothing would push Tooru to the extremes than learning that you're tied to his rival... 😳

Good job again, Rhi! Honestly these soulmate aus are my favorite!!! 💕

ahhh thank you so much!!! 

and no, i didn’t actually mention who the reader’s soulmate was. i was initially going to write the fic a little more in line with what the asks said and have the reader overhear oikawa talking about it on the phone with iwa, and he’d say the name of her soulmate. it could have been anyone, but me being the whore that i am wanted it to be one of the characters, and considering that oikawa was never going to let the reader just wander off back to japan, i figured that the best possible choice for her to potentially meet her ‘soulmate’ would be when oikawa took him home with her back to japan for the olympics - and with the tight hold he has over her, the only people who could potentially come into contact with her, through iwa of course, would be the olympic team.

kags and ushiwaka were too obvious - plus the reader would have likely met them at some point during her life and while the bond wouldn’t have done anything too crazy, she might have felt something (plus i think oiks would have rubbed off on her a little too much - she wouldn’t hate them like he does, but romance? nah)

which then made me think, if you take those two out of the equation - who on the team would piss oikawa off the most to know was the reader’s soulmate... 

there’s just something about that setter pride, right? 

sorry for rambling 👀

I already knew I'd love ani soulmate au you write, but it still amazed me. It was wonderful! 😭🤧 

you guys are too nice to me!! i’m glad you liked it bby!  💕

I loved your Oikawa soulmate fic! Did Iwa lie about the name on Oikawa? Or are there mismatches with soulmates and she is Oikawa's soulmate, he's just not hers?

Wait so does that mean that oikawa has no name on his wrist, he met his soulmate but doesn't care for them, or he has our name on his wrist but it's not actually "our" name it's just somebody who shares our name? Sorry I'm way to slow on this

Love your latest story! But I’m confused if her name was on his skin or not?

i’m answering these three together because they’re all kinda similar. so the name on oikawa’s arm - his soulmate - is definitely the reader’s. it’s a mismatch. basically it was my kind of interpretation of a yandere’s obsessive love - for oikawa, she’s it, the only one he’ll ever truly love, the one person he can’t live without, but even before the reveal of her mark, he’s already very manipulative and controlling towards the reader. he isolates her from everybody else but him and his friends, makes her rely on him because he needs her, not the other way around. it’s not the worst thing in the world, but the power imbalance is huge. whereas the reader’s soulmate would be the one person who would let her shine - help her grow and love her for who she is without trying to steal her away from the world. it’s not that oikawa doesn’t love the reader, or that the reader doesn’t love him, but her soulmate is the one person who would love her the right way, if that makes sense?

NOOOOOO my heart is breaking into a million pieces and oikawa's not even my fav he doesn't even make top ten but holy FUCK this fic is for SURE in my alltime top ten. u just have a way of writing him that makes my heart ache like i still cant reread home like i read it when u first released it n i have not been able to reread it again bc i cant handle strong emotions but like...this fic is the opposite i cant STOP reading it thank u thank u thank u ily sm for gifting us this fic 🥺

bby!!! you are in fact the sweetest? i love you?? pls come collect your kisses??

home is one of my all time faves ngl, and this kinda has similar vibes i guess, but maybe in reverse - home is all about the anguish of falling for somebody who hurt you because of the things they’ve done, and always is about the pain of still loving somebody despite the fact that they’ve hurt you. anyway, thank you sm, this message honestly made my day!

Ahhhhhh! That Oikawa x blind reader! Oh my heart. Soft insecure Oikawa 😭😭😭

he’s awful in this, but dontcha just feel a little bad for the guy? (low key wanna give him a hug for treating him so meanly in this - but he does kinda deserve it too)

now that i see u on my feed, imma read ur fics again hihihihi LIEK I READ IT FOR 10x ALREADT

💕💕💕💕the sheer dedication?? ily anon

uh.. hello.. the chubby seijoh manager.. i.. love it so much is it rude to ask for more?

the full fic will be out... eventually 👀

how do miya twins from breaking point/meet the parents react to overprotective dad (or not even really that overprotective just actually a good parent lol)? I think it’s a really interesting dynamic and obstacle for yanderes because so often everyone else seems fooled or mia leaving the reader really vulnerable. Honestly I wish I could just talk to you all day about your fics beyond being HOT they are also so intriguing and you’re just an incredible story teller!!!!

first of all how dare you make me all soft and mushy?!!?! this was v sweet anon, thank you

BUT i honestly think they’d both kinda write the dad off. if they managed to bully the reader into being in a ‘relationship’ with them, osamu might try to get in his good graces, maybe offer to cook dinner or something just to smooth things over - because it is somewhat implied that even though he despises the twins, if his daughter wants them around, he’d bite his tongue for her sake. atsumu would be the ass that deliberately tries to rile him up, seeing just how far he can get away with touching you, how many sly innuendos can he slip past your dear old dad before he snaps.

but eventually, whether you gave into them or not, they’d try to push you away from your family, isolate you. for one, they don’t want anybody in your life telling you that they’re not good for you when they’re your soulmates. also because they really don’t want anyone else in your life period. why would you need anybody else when you have them?

[wthzoe]

chapter 7 pt. 2 - you can never be too happy in this life

'you can never be too happy in this life' yeah, that's still the line

series masterlist - here

previous | next

warning: character death

a/n: aaand she lives! hi, yes, i'm alive! i honestly don't remember how long i was gone but thank you sm for (still) supporting 'with a smile' even if my updating schedule is shit lmao. here's the long overdue part 2 of chapter 7! i hope it's alright 😩

tags: @crayonwriting

-

The timing couldn’t be more perfect for the two of you. Spring break rolled around a couple weeks later, giving you time to work on Kuroo moving into your apartment. Soon enough you were sharing your room with your boyfriend. The triplets were overjoyed to find out that their papa will be living under the same roof and that they get to spend more time with him.

“Papa!” The triplets yelled one peaceful afternoon; excitement evident in the tone of their voice. That could only mean one thing; Kuroo has returned home from volleyball practice. You peaked at the entrance area from the kitchen, seeing how hot and disheveled your boyfriend was. Duffel bag slung across his torso, his hair messy as usual and his lips smiling widely at his little boys.

He picked all three of them up at the same time (which gave your poor motherly heart a scare) causing the boys to burst in a fit of giggles. Kuroo chuckled along with them as he walks the short distance to the kitchen before placing them down on the table. You walk up to him to give him a kiss, standing on your tippy toes to match his height. He grabbed you by the waist the moment you came in close proximity to him.

"I'm home," he whispered.

"Welcome back," you whispered back, giving him one last peck on the lips before pulling away and moving your attention to the food on the stove.

You ate dinner with your family as usually would, nothing really going out of the ordinary until you heard your phone ring from the living room. You were about to stand up in order to retrieve the device but Kuroo offers to do it instead as he was closer to the living room.

"I'll get it." He picks it up then glances at the caller ID which showed the name 'Grandpa'. He instinctively answered it then brought it to his ear. "Hello?"

"(Y/N)— Oh, Tetsurou?"

"Yes, it's me." He began walking back to his spot on the dining table while you watch him curiously, trying to find out who he's talking to and what they're talking about. "I'm sorry, what?"

Kuroo's face went pale, probably due to the news delivered to him. He gulps before shifting his gaze to you.

"(Y/N)..."

You beg Kuroo to drive faster than he already is in hopes of arriving to the hospital quicker. She'll be alright. She's fine. It's just a minor thing, right? Thoughts flooded your mind from the moment you dropped the triplets off at Bokuto and Akaashi's shared dorm room to the present.

Kuroo grabbed your hand that you were nibbling on out of anxiety, giving it a tight squeeze of reassurance. But nothing could keep you calm, all you need was to arrive at the hospital faster and see for yourself that your grandmother would be alright.

The second the car was parked, you dashed out of it and into the hospital, frantically asking the front desk for your grandmother. You didn't even give the receptionist a chance to finish her question regarding your relation to the patient. You simply dashed to the elevator, pressing the 'up' button too many times, as if it would help the elevator arrive faster. When it did, people swore a ghost rushed by at how quick you got on.

More thoughts fill your head, making you forget that you completely left your boyfriend behind, but he understood. Unlike you, Kuroo calmly asked the receptionist for your grandmother's room and calmly waited for the elevator door to open.

On the other hand you were there catching your breath right outside your grandmother's room. You knew she wouldn't be too fond of the state you were in now so you gave your self time to breathe. After a couple minutes you finally lift your fist to knock— beep.

Oh no. It was that beep. The long one. Your heart sank to the deepest pits of Earth. That's not it, right? You were hearing wrong. She's fine. When you walk in, she'll greet you as always. She's fine. She's fine. She's—

The scene that greeted you when you opened the door sunk your heart deeper than what you thought was humanely possible. Doctors, or were they nurses? You didn't know, you couldn't think, were huddled around the bed while frantically trying to revive your grandmother.

In the corner was your grandfather, who had noticed you enter because he was trying so hard not to see his wife battle life and death. You ran to him in tears. He gave you a tight hug, his breath equally as shaky as yours, maybe even more.

The two of you stayed in that position the whole time, earnestly waiting for good news that never came. She's gone. You grandmother's gone. The person who took you in and raised you like her own was gone.

You sink into the chair beside the bed, listlessly staring at her peaceful expression. If it was even remotely possible, more tears rolled down your cheeks. Your breaths becoming even heavier, as you release sobs.

"Grandma," you called out, hoping she'll find her way back to you. Maybe she was just lost. "Granny..."

The more you call for her the more you realize that she's not coming back. You grab her cold hand with both of yours, desperately trying to heat it up as you call for her. You lean your head onto her shoulder and bawled. Her body no longer providing the comforting heat you always loved.

"I said— I said I'm going to repay you... for everything you've done for me." You choked out in between sobs. "How am I going to do that now? Please don't leave me..."

You stayed like that for hours, even after Kuroo came to comfort you. But Kuroo and your grandfather both decided that it would be best to leave you be for now.

After a while you calmed down. Your grandfather approached you and placed a hand on your shoulder.

"She... knew what was coming." He started. "Two days ago, before we came here, she told me she wanted a nice romantic evening before she goes. So we did that. She said she regrets not being able to properly say goodbye to you and the triplets before she goes."

You stare at your grandmother's lifeless body as tears began to flow once again.

"We prepared gifts for the boys for the next 15 years until they turn 18. She said it was the least she could do. She didn't let me contact you until she knew it was her last day. She said it was 'a few days too many of worrying for my baby'."

Once again you were full on sobbing into her shoulder.

"She said she has a last wish for you."

"What is it?" You lift your head, determined to fulfill your grandmother's last wish until;

"(Y/N)..." You felt your body tense at the feminine voice from behind you. You turn around only to see—

"Mom, dad. Why are you here?" Your voice was harsh as you eye them up and down.

"(Y/N), sweetie..."

"Don't you 'sweetie' me. You kicked me out remember?" Your grandfather's hand on your shoulder gave you a slight squeeze.

"(Y/N)... did you know that all this time they've been assisting you and the boys as much as they can? They regret what they did. Please talk to them at least. Your grandmother would be very happy."

You remind yourself that this was your grandmother's last wish as you hesitantly lead them out of the room. Kuroo gave you a look of concern from where he sat, knowing how tense you were. You give him a slight smile to reassure him.

"Just so you know, I have nothing to say to you." You speak up.

"I know, but please listen to us." You crossed your arms and turned to face them, not making eye contact. "I admit that what we did was wrong, that we were too harsh to you. I also admit that the first few months, we didn't care at all, but then one day your grandmother visited us and brought us a copy of your ultrasound. Your dad and I were happy for you, we regretted what we did but we knew you wouldn't even want to see us after all that."

She reached for your arm but you flinch away from her. She sighed then continued her explanation.

"We asked for updates about the four of you. We asked about what we can do to help, even if just financially. I saw how well you raised your boys, (Y/N). I don't have the rights to, but I'm proud. We... didn't plan on approaching you because the pain we caused you was too much and I didn't want you to be in pain again when you see us. But mom said it was her dying wish, and I also wanted to make things right. So, (Y/N), I'm very sorry."

You eyed your parents, checking for signs of insincerity in their words. But their expressions were nothing but sincere. You sigh and slowly approached your mother for a hug.

"Don't get me wrong, I still haven't fully forgiven you. I'm still very hurt. I just think that having things continue the way they were will only be bad for all of us." Both parents gave you a tight hug back, crying. Yoy caught a glimpse of Kuroo sitting outside your grandmother's room from over your mother's shoulder. "I have someone for you to meet."

You pull away from each other before calling for Kuroo. "Tetsu."

Your boyfriend stared at you in confusion, probably wondering why on Earth were you calling him in the middle of a touching reunion. Nonetheless, he complied to your call and approached you sheepishly.

"This is my boyfriend, Tetsurou."

"Kuroo Tetsurou, ma'am and... sir." Without further notice your mom pulled him into a tight hug.

"Thank you. Thank you very much for taking care of my (Y/N)."

Kuroo chuckled as he hugs her back, looking over to you before saying, "My pleasure."

[leatherbookmarking]

I need more on your Su Minshan wife and child oc for reasons! (I once had thoughts on a post canon lxc going a bit depressed mad and escaping to Moling Su to try and find out why jgy trusted sms so much more than him, when that broke, and I just have a lot of feelings about post canon Moling Su and need to hear yours)

SORRY @ragless for replying to this ask (checks) 70 years later! i was being myself which is a very time-consuming activity.

ANYWAY yeah post canon moling su is super interesting because they’ve got, what, nothing? aside from teleportation talismans, which. is a lot. but also everyone hates them now and their sect leader is dead! and also sort of left his disciples in the burial mounds as soon as things went a little bit pear-shaped, so like, thanks, zongzhu! i really wonder what those disciples did later, like, did they bring them along to yunmeng, were they like, ok, we’re out, bye!, something else? so yeah, this is my jam.

and lxc going there, trying to find answers? get to know those people? get to know who su minshan was and why jgy picked a traitor over er-ge? dear god i can FEEL how reading such a fic would feel like, oh, one hell of summer holidays!!! god. god. love that. if you have a post on that, i’d love to know more!!

WIFE AND CHILD OCS in which i am like mxtx here because they still don’t have names. i’ll have to name them at some point, but nothing’s coming to me. welp. anyway, i was thinking -- why not make them both salty underdogs who bond about that? or maybe not even that, maybe they’re met by a sheer accident! perhaps barely established sect leader su was passing by another small sect’s house, and they had an unmarried daughter, and they were like, okay, we can work with that? except the daughter is older than sms and actually divorced, but sms really isn’t looking for love, what he needs is a helping hand, any, even just one (1) literal hand, so like, yep, there we go.

also hm that got rather long so i am going to put a cut right there

and as much as i love a previously underappreciated and unloved character finally being someones #1, here i’m interested in a... subversion? not exactly, of that. there’s no big romance, they don’t even gradually fall in love after getting married, slowly discovering that the other one is a good, sensitive person! no, they’re primarily partners. the wife is here to get out of the parents’ house and finally have her own place, he is here to establish a sect and also have his own place. they’re both black sheeps of the society, more or less, either because her husband didn’t like her or because he was scared and wanted to live, and they’re shitty reason to look down on someone, so they end up bonding anyway. once they’re a bit more established, they even have a daughter and i already love her, because she has her father’s narrow lips and her mother’s narrow eyes, essentially becoming the most suspicious-looking child ever devised. and she’s a frog girl, because frogs are cool.

now, about their situation post canon -- did sms even think to leave a letter, saying his wife and child and disciples didn’t know about his Schemes, and thus shouldn’t be judged for what he’s done? or maybe he knew no one would care about that anyway -- you don’t need to punish or be violent towards someone to ruin them, just not paying attention is enough? who are his disciples and what do they think? there has to be a reason why they’re in moling su and not, say, somewhere else, even if that reason is ‘well, they’re locals, so’. do they abandon the sect and try to join one that’s... not even more powerful or richer, just ‘less looked down upon by everyone and their grandma’s dog’?

the daughter, who’s like 5-7, is simply missing her father. what about the wife? does she have a too-late realization that she was in love with her husband, actually? or maybe she wasn’t, but loved him in her own way, and she’s both furious at this asshole for leaving her alone with all this mess (he didn’t even survive! he didn’t even go to fucking dongying with lianfang-zun, they both died! what’s the fucking point! how can you fuck up that badly, minshan!!!) and sad because there used to be someone living with her, sharing her bed and dinner table, and now he’s gone?

and now, the teleportation talismans, the masking spell etc? and here i will allow myself a digression, because: people say he’s a bad cultivator, but like, he’s unremarkable next to hanguang-jun, and who isn’t! wwx says in the novel himself that his cultivation is high. he knows his sword forms and guqin tunes, and i will never be not in awe of the guqin trick in burial mounds went. do you even just fucking play Evil Music in front of Music Masters Clan -- LAN QIREN, BABEY!!! -- and they don’t notice a thing because they think you’re just Bad? poetic cinema. poetic cinema. also, about that: in the drama, he uses a mask instead of a masking spell, but i’m really into the concept of someone who’s been ignored, feels unnoticed and invisible next to hanguang-jun™, dabbling in cultivation methods that use exactly that. i think i’ve mentioned somewhere at some point eloped xiyao using talismans/spells/something that doesn’t cover your face or alter it in any physical way, but makes it so anyone who looks at you has absolutely no idea what you look like. the epitome of unremarkable and ‘uh, they looked... normal?’. i think that would be super neat for moling su to develop. WEAPONIZED ‘eh, nothing special’.

anyway: so moling su have all that, except is it a known fact, or do they know su minshan just happened to vanish at some point? because i think teleportation is a very neat trick that can both help and make someone’s life hell, and su-furen would probably have a problem, because: should she take care of stuff, educating the disciples and essentially serving as a sect leader/regent (even though she’s not the best, either at cultivation, talismans or general sect-leading, she was a wife and that’s a separate soup of duties to fill), or should she look for (yet another) husband, for her own security and safety of her disciples? what about her daughter, though? she knows what people are like, she can’t just trust them to treat her well.

ETC, ETC, I JUST. it’s so interesting!! i accidentally gave myself moling su sect feelings, lol. also, i have this cracky idea of su-furen committing Microaggressions to the chief cultivator his excellency hanguang-jun, ranging from raising her eyebrow by one mm after something he’s said to using teleportation to butt into his night hunts, deal with the thing and quietly go home, and like. who would it be. jiang cheng. jiang cheng being kinda torn between (BIG SECT LEADER SCOFF) and ‘fuck, okay, that was entertaining, do that again’.

i don’t know how comprehensible this post was, but!! thanks for the ask, i got to ramble lol;;

[howardpotts]

four: buy your pretty heart

Love on the Brain - Masterlist in links

Pairing: MobBoss!Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: You’re just a student, living her normal daily life in New York. One night changes everything, without you even knowing. Steve Rogers slowly introduces you to his world full of money, drugs and violence. But are you able to handle what he has to offer?

Chapter warning: Uhmm none, i think. 

A/N: I haven’t uploaded in a while, but I had some unplanned hiatus. It’s just that a lot has happened privately that made me lose interest in anything. I hope this chapter is any good, since it’s been written in small pieces in the last 3 months. 

Let me know what you think! Comments and reblogs are highly appreciated! 

You thought you were going to spend your entire day daydreaming about the night before, instead you were thinking over and over about what has happened.

Even when Wanda was gushing to you about that girl and how they spent the entire night dancing, kissing, talking - you had a hard time to keep your thoughts away and your focus on her.  She looked tired, just as you. Big bags under her eyes, hair was a little bit more fussy than normal. You tried to cover your tiredness with makeup, which was pretty well done in your opinion. 

You were grateful it was friday, meaning that you could focus on other stuff on the weekend. Take your mind of whatever happened today, trying to suppress it til monday; when Steve is going to take you out on dinner and, well, probably fuck you senseless after. 

“Lets go shopping after school”, Wanda stated. She had a date on sunday and she knew that you were going to meet with Steve on monday. You told her about yesterday night, but you didn’t dare to tell her what happened this morning. You didn’t want to get her in any kind of trouble.

“Wan, you’re a genius”, you admitted, smirking to her. She claps her hands in excitement, her golden bracelets sounding like bells, making her look even more enthusiastic. 

You slumbed out of your class, eyes a little foggy from all the staring to the screen in front of you. The teacher had you noting everything he said on your computer. It couldn’t get any more boring than it already was - and that on a friday afternoon.

“What kind of dress are you looking for?”, you asked Wanda, trying to shake away the boring class. She hooked her arm into yours as you walked through the busy hallways of the school. You both didn’t care to look who was walking around, you just wanted to get out of here and into the city, focussing on way more exciting things.

“I think something laced. Black, maybe? Or would that be a bit too tame?”, she asks you.

“Depends on the dress”, you respond. “A little bit of lace, a shape that makes your figure look like candy and it can serve you well.”

The fresh air gives you new energy when you step outside. It’s pretty cold outside, but for February, it’s actually quite nice. 

A call of your name has you looking around. Some guy approaches you. Brown hair, little bit ruffled. You have never seen him in your life. “Steve sent me. He wanted me to give you this.”

A big grin on Wanda’s face, and you fake one too. It isn’t that you don’t like Steve, but at this moment you were a little bit terrified of what could be in the package. You want to , thank the guy, but he’s already walking down the stairs, acting like he never spoke to you.

“Open it, open it!”, Wanda squeals enthusiastically. 

Your heart could jump out of your chest when your hand moves to open the package. 

There’s a little note on top of it, almost flying out of the box as the wind waves lightly in the box. You grab it quickly and turn it around. 

Wear this and nothing else. 

Wanda giggles, you blush. A little paper still hides what exactly is in the box but Wanda’s patience is wearing thin and she gets rid of it as quickly as you can blink.

There’s a black jacket in it. On the inside a label saying ‘BALMAIN’.. Wait, that’s designer right? That’s a pretty well known brand. Not that you expected Steve to get you some cheap stuff, but designer? Did he really put that much money into you or did he send this to every other girl, asking it back after wearing it once? Ew, no, he didn’t do that. That’s disgusting.

“BALMAIN?”, Wanda gasps. “You’ve got to be kidding me! Where the hell did you find this guy- Don’t answer that.” 

“That’s pretty expensive, right?”, you ask. Her eyes turn big as she watches you.

“Yes, that’s fucking expensive”, she calls, still impressed by the gift in your hands. “And we’re not talking hundreds here, darling. We’re talking thousands. Two, maybe three.”

“Thousand?”

“Thousand!” She throws her hands in the air to give the words even more of a drama effect. 

You don’t know what to say. Or do. It’s kind of overwhelming, to be honest. You’ve met the guy not even 24 hours ago, and he already gave you the responsibility to decide a man's fate and now he gave you a jacket worth thousands. You have to admit that it creeps you out. Alarm bells are going off, warning you to cut him out of your life and find a good man. One that will swoon your parents and will probably be better for you than he’ll ever be. 

But you’re flattered at the same time. Why would someone like him - a man with charm, looks, grace, money and a lot of female attention - invest money in someone like you? You’re not special in any way. You’re as average as can be. You’re a communications student, living in some apartment with two other roommates because you can’t afford to rent one for your own. You have some kind of barista job in the weekends, trying to earn enough to pay for your rent, food and some fun activities. 

“Maybe we should drop this first”, you suggest, looking at the box in your hands. 

As you walk, Wanda starts talking about her night. “She was amazing”, she sighs. “I walked up to her and straight up told her how beautiful she looked. Later on she told me she liked that directness, that no one ever does that to her.”

You’re so happy for Wanda. She’s been crushing on this girl for a few weeks now, but never acted on it. Apparently everyone thought that the girl was pretty intimidating.

“Wait, what was her name again?”, you ask, interrupting her story.

“Maria”, she answers quickly before picking up her story again. “Anyway, we started dancing, but I wasn’t sure if she was into women. So I kept my distance, and so did she, so I got more and more insecure. I looked over at you and saw you chatting with some guy. When I looked back, I saw her checking me out. And I’m not talking about girl-ready-to-bitch kind of checking, but the lesbian kind of checking.”

You chuckle. Her stories were always this over the place - but it was fun to listen to. She always knew how to keep you interested, waiting eagerly on how the story is going to end. 

“So that kind of felt like my que. Wow, I say a lot of ‘kind of’, don’t I? Anyway, I moved a bit closer, gave her my famous flirty eyes.”

You walk over a crosswalk and turn right after, only two streets away from your apartment.

“Did you kiss?”, you ask, not being able to wait anymore. You need to know.

“Oh honey, we didn’t just kiss. We made out, we did the dirty, we went down town, we-” 

“Yeah, okay, I get it”, you laugh. She chuckles and pushes you lightly when you fake roll your eyes. 

“Will you see her again?” Her eyes glow up after you ask that question. She nods furiously as she grabs her phone, showing you a few messages. Excitedly, you squeal lightly. 

“Thank you a thousand times for joining me last night”, she sighed as she hooked her arm in yours once again. A content feeling settles in you as you walk further. A few seconds of silence between the two of you. Cars pass by, people sometimes almost bump in to you as you walk further down the street. 

“And your night had to be pretty exciting as well, right?”, Wanda breaks the silence, wiggling her eyebrows. You nod, a little smirk on your lips. 

“God, it was good”, you sigh. You tell your story shortly but swiftly, letting details pass and not mentioning what happened the morning after. 

“And more than a one night stand?”, she asks you as you stand in front of your apartment door. You give her a quick look before focussing on letting yourself in. 

“I’m not sure”, you say. “I think we just want to booty call each other. And apparently giving me gifts.”

You let yourself in your room and drop the box on your bed. Again you open it, this time taking the jacket out. It turns out to be longer than you thought. He was quite serious about not wearing anything else. The jacket is long enough for you to cover up everything you want to hide from the public. But it also shows enough to seduce him. And he knows that.

“Can you please stay another hour?” Your manager, Sarah, looks at you with her big puppy eyes. “Pretty, pretty please?”

A little smirk is on your face as you roll your eyes. “What would you do without me?”, you say as you put on the brown apron again, after taking it off just a minute ago. 

“I would be homeless and a failure. Thank you a thousand times!”, she cheers as she grabs your shoulder to give it a little squish. You smile and walk back into the little cosy cafe. It was pretty crowded, with a little line of five people waiting outside to get a free table. 

Slowly you check your half of the cafe, the front half. Your colleague, Brent, watches over the other half and Sarah is behind the bar making the best coffee of the city. She owns the cafe and made it a big success, promoting her selfmade cookies and waffles as her original trademark. And it works. Whenever it isn’t busy, you make small talk with the customers and they always tell you that they’ve heard from someone else that they had to try one of her delicious cookies. 

A man puts his hand in the air, making a little gesture to come over. You put on your smile and walk over. “How can I help you?”

“Why don’t you start by giving your number?”, he smirks. “And a cappuccino.”

Your hand balls into a fist, nails digging into your flesh as you watch his smug face. He watches you. Not even your face, but your body. He checks you out. 

“Sorry sir, we’re not allowed to give out personal information to our customers”, Brent hops in from behind you. You turn your back to the customer and mouth a little ‘thank you’ to him. 

You walk towards Sarah and ask her for the cappuccino the guy asked for. As much as you’d like to not serve him his coffee, you still had to be customer-friendly. 

“Why don’t we switch sides ‘til the d-bag over there leaves this place?”, Brent asks when he stands beside you before focussing on Sarah. “Oh and a latte plus a chocolate chip cookie for table fifteen.”

You nod, a little smile appearing on your face. You couldn’t be happier with your colleagues and your boss, they were all so attentive and supportive to each other. There was this atmosphere that made you enjoy the work you were doing. You’ve worked at other places where the ambience was a little bit different. 

The cappuccino appears on the counter, not a second later it’s in Brents hands and he walks towards the guy. It wasn’t the first time someone asked for your number - and you wouldn’t be annoyed if he asked about it nicely. But the arrogance on his face and his eyes on your boobs did not make a good first impression. 

“And the latte, cookie’s coming right up”, Sarah sighs as she put down the latte. You give her a quick smile. She grabs a small white plate and puts a napkin on it first before grabbing the wobbly cookie. 

See, the thing about Sarah’s cookies was that it wasn’t just your ordinary round cookie. It was a bit thicker, but still moist from the inside. It was a little bit warm, the chocolate was on the edge of melting, and the sugar wasn’t as overwhelming as most are. The moment you had your first cookie, you fell in love. You actually had to watch yourself to not overeat, restraining yourself to one cookie a week. 

As you walk to table fifteen, you take a quick look at it already. Just swiftly taking in the customer to decide what kind of small talk you can make. Most of the time you could see it in a splitsecond; some were here just to work, some were here for some social acts, and with some you had to guess.

But this one had you by surprise. He made your breath stuck in your throat. How in the living hell did he end up here? Did he stalk you?

“One latte and a chocolate chip”, you say nervously. With a little shake, you put down the latte. “I didn’t expect to run into you here.”

His blue eyes meet yours, making you hot all over. You’re not sure if it’s because of the nerves, because of the things he made you feel or because of the morning you’ve witnessed at his place. 

“It’s my regular. I didn’t expect you’d work here”, he countered. You give him a little smirk as you also put down the cookie. “Did Paul give you the package?”

“Yes, he did.” You didn’t know what else to say. To say it’s beautiful? That you like it? That you’ll wear it? That’d be cheesy.

“Good. I hope to see you in it tomorrow”, he smirks as he takes a sip from his latte.

“Maybe I will, maybe I won’t”, you tease as you turn around, moving your hips a little bit more as you walk to your next customer.

Tags: (OPEN)

@mcueveryday​ @mschellehitt​ @thamuddagirl​ @buckysthot​ @what-if-i-am-weird​ @myspectacularfantasies​ @ornella0910​ @steeeeverogers​ @babygirl-htx​ @estillion14​ @my-super-musical-life​ @tranquil--heart​ @golddaggers​ @swanlakemikey​ @notyourtypicalrose​

[philomenafm]

(NATALIA DYER, DEMI GIRL) - Have you seen PHILOMENA CARMICHAEL? PHILLY is in HER/THEIR SOPHOMORE year. The WILDLIFE SCIENCE MAJOR is 20 years old & is a TAURUS. People say SHE/THEY are WHIMSICAL, PATIENT, APATHETIC and UNPREDICTABLE. Rumors say they’re a member of CALLOWAY. I heard from the gossip blog that SHE CONCEALED MURDEROUS EVIDENCE  (JAMES. 21. EST. THEY/THEM.)

ive done sm switches bt. she is the one. she is the one i love. trust me. ples. this is an old intro n im frankly. too lazy 2 read it bt. i love her a lot shes very good please like her

TW CANCER, TRAUMA, DEPERSONALIZATION / DEREALIZATION DISORDER ( ALT. DISSOCIATION ), DEATH, DECAY, MAGGOTS.

aesthetic.

wildflowers in your hair and bare feet against moss, binoculars and maps, madonna beating out of half-dead speakers in a half-dead van, whipping wind, jumping off cliffs and rolling down hills, a bandaid wrapped around each finger, cryptic bumper stickers and cryptids in the woods, facing the sun and letting the rays hit you, counting stars late into the night, dancing naked in the woods with nothing but fire to light your way, mismatched socks and lucky ribbons, hoarding a box of special treasures, shoplifting and diner-dashing, bleach against roots, pink sweaters paired with ripped fishnets and slip dresses with knock off uggs, willingly wearing crocs, glitter stickers, fungi and feeling one with them, lying down and decomposing, they’ll find us in a week. they’ll find us in a week.

basics.

full name: philomena brontë carmichael

nickname(s): philly, phil, etc.

b.o.d. - april 20th, 2000

label(s): the amaranth, the halycon, the neophyte, the wanderer, etc. etc.

height: 5′4″

hometown: woodside, ca

sexuality: demisexual

pinterest ( & her family pinterest b/c they’re my most developed family uwu)

stats

favorite song: wonderfully bizarre, bendigo fletcher / we can be defined by the things we want / i’ll be a life full of free haircuts from the one that i love / we’ll collect fallen out teeth in a candy jar / mice for the backyard peregrine falcon reservation.

background.

a middle child belonging to christopher and imogen carmichael - two stanford professors. christopher specialized in british literature whilst imogen specialized in the classics. hence the name.

the order of siblings goes as such: lysander, elektra, juno, philomena, and twins orion & valora. the deal was that everybody had a greek (or in juno’s case, roman) first name and a middle name inspired by a piece of british literature circa 1800s and under. a family of nerds, if you will.

so, clearly - right off the bat, their parents are … eccentric. they’re both in love with their respected topic, and with each other, and with their kids. the carmichael family is a happy family.

they each have their own quirks and whatnot - though philly’s always been particularly dreamy - even as a child, she’d spend hours watching clouds or caterpillars or the leaves blow in the wind rather than play with other kids. she wasn’t a shy kid - she just had her own interests.

hardship doesn’t hit the family until philomena is five and starts having splitting headaches. they’re slow at first - but as soon as she’s seeing spots and unable to walk in a straight line, doctor appointments are made.

it doesn’t take long for them to discover the tumor, though the official diagnosis of malignant ependymoma comes a month later.

it’s grade ii but slow-moving, small enough to not be as much of a threat as worried, but big enough where removal is necessary. philomena earns a scar and brings it in for show-and-tell. for two months afterwards, philly’s at radiotherapy monday through friday.

they’re lucky - philomena’s considered cancer-free by the next year. she’s babied at first - handled delicately, as if she could break if touched - but with five other children … it doesn’t last for too long.

and life continues as normal.

her personality doesn’t shift much over the next few years - she’s awfully independent for a kid, and awfully quiet - when she speaks it’s about faeries and bigfoot, about how the sky is so blue and if you listen quietly, you can hear the leaves whisper their secrets to each other. this is not odd.

she’s close to all her siblings, but she idolizes her older sister - elektra. elektra’s six years older and dyes her hair whatever colors she wants. elektra bought a knife off a seedy guy downtown. elektra threw away all of her heels and renounced god. elektra is god. her music is loud but it’s not heavy - it’s florence and the machine.

they’re opposites - elektra’s boisterous and feels loudly, philomena’s softer and feels…less. when elektra sneaks out, philomena keeps watch. they are a duo.

philomena is smart - but she’s fifteen and hates school. hates sitting inside all day. hates the same routine - day after day - it’s all the same. her parents’ routine is the same, philly feels contained and she wants to live.

elektra’s twenty-one and just bought a brand new spanking (used but not falling apart) 19-something volkswagen … van - using her entire savings account. she says she’s tired of routine, she’s leaving the next day.

naturally, philomena stows away in the back and isn’t discovered until they’re two states away and she’s got to pee. elektra nearly crashes the van in shock.

it’s an argument - philomena vs. elektra, then them vs. their parents, then their parents vs. the school, the state - it’s an ordeal. philomena switches to an online program in the end.

it hurts christopher and imogen - lysander’s not having any of their nonsense, juno’s betrayed and alone - the twins are twins. in the end, it’s alright. the carmichael family is a happy family.

philomena and elektra take their time - it’s not a road trip, it’s their new life, permanently on the road. they stop and explore often - they do odd jobs in whatever town they settle in. they dine-n-dash, they shoplift. they survive in their own way.

during particularly desperate times, they two resorted to identity theft & credit fraud - getting away with it only by ditching the cards once they’ve made it out of state.

she drops out of high school officially when she’s seventeen - they have to drive all the way back to california to deal with the wrath of their parents and to deal with paperwork, but it’s done. philomena doesn’t know what path she wants in life - but it’s not that.

it’s during this time that the episodes occur - philomena’s outside her body, philomena’s wrapped in cotton, her memories are not her own. she’s looking in the mirror and she doesn’t recognize herself. they take shelter in a city for six months, long enough for her brand spankin’ new therapist to figure out what’s wrong with her. she’s diagnosed with depersonalization / derealization disorder - they think it’s stress. philomena doesn’t get stressed. they think it’s trauma. she laughs - she never laughs.

there is trauma though, deep-rooted but somewhere inside - you just have to look for it.

you. just. have. to. look. for. it. look for it. look for it. look for it look for it look -

you were ten and she was thirteen, an off-trail hike in familiar woods in a familiar town, safe and familiar. it was your idea, to stray from the carved out paths, down creeks and up hills and round, and round again. you’re the one who spotted the scarf first, sticking up from the dirt and dancing in the wind like the beginning of reincarnation. it was not reincarnation, it was discovery. it was ruin. with curiosity drawn, you skidded down - with compliance, followed juno, followed your sister - clumsy in her steps and tumbling down quicker than you. you saw the corpse, but juno felt it. decaying flesh and maggot.

and she left juno, just like that - just five years later, when juno had finally gone to the end of her wits. philly up and left. abandoned her.

philomena and elektra leave the city after that therapy session. they do not return. she’s always been good at hiding her secrets.

three years later and her parents want philly to have a higher education - desperate for it, really - worried for her future. it’s a battle that she loses, getting her ged and applying to a local college in florida in shameful compliance.

they’re there for a year until philly gets (expectantly) expelled from the community college & the two of them are banned from the town they’d residing in up until that point. they don’t talk about it - but boy, was it one hell of a time.

they found refuge in preaker, a town that seemed to suit them well - it suited elektra’s desire to travel up and down the east coast, and it intrigued philomena enough to the point of her being content with staying. soon after, philly officially transferred to yates for her freshmen spring term & theyve been here since.

(whenever anna brings cillian uh. he’s in here too he’s been traveling w them fr like 3ish years. i just cannot rewrite atm KDSGLSDKLGKFGHLKSL bt hes here. n hes sexy. n we love him. bro3tp)

OH. hey yeah the secret. errmm. tht’s on cillian. philly just hid the evidence. no they didnt kill someone yes they did no they did not <3 yes

personality & facts.

she’s quiet but she’s confident - her voice sounds like rustling leaves, if leaves smoked a pack of cigarettes a day.

often underestimated - philly’s petite and looks like she’d fall over if a plastic bag blew too close to her. she’s independent - for the most part. elektra is the only person philly takes orders from.

has always been considered odd - weird, strange. still talks about the trees as if they’re listening, as if they’re old friends. she’s vague and doesn’t elaborate on the things she says.

believes in pretty much any superstition you throw her way. luck is very important to her. if you ask her if the earth is flat, she’ll say probably. believes strongly in bigfoot and the lochness monster. has personally seen aliens, and loves ghosts almost more than herself.

she can be amusing - whether you ‘get’ her or not, her outlook is often bright - she talks about the negatives the same way she talks about the positives. can be seen as naive or gullible, but she’s plenty smart. even if half of her education has come directly from google.

philly doesn’t laugh. a smile, yes - often, in fact - not always reaching her ears, or bearing teeth - but these are not indicators of her happiness. philly is consistently content. she thinks many things are funny - she still will not laugh.

her voice is often monotonous - she doesn’t sound dreary, she sounds far-away. her voice carries. her emotions are often unknown to others.

is apathetic in most situations. she’s hard to bother - she’s incredibly patient and enjoys the company of most - tolerates them at the very least. it’s hard for her to express her emotions, because she feels them so little that it’s very nearly not worth it. her affection is not verbal - it’s small touches and gestures of kindness, love in her own way.

is a fan of knock-knock jokes and bad puns. she won’t crack a smile while telling you them, nor does she expect you to laugh. she just enjoys them.

she owns a motorola razr covered in puffy stickers - hasn’t ever had a smartphone. she’s a fan of emoticons. her favorite is :o)

has a lot of bruises and scratches and scars - she’s often getting herself into pickles. there are always, at the very minimum, three bandaids on each hand.

she has insomnia, so she’s awake often. is often seen wandering town - even when she shouldn’t be, even when it might be dangerous. her intuition is delayed. when she does sleep - her dreams are vivid and fantastical.

keeps a box of memories - sentimental bits and pieces she’s picked up over the last few years. there are a lot of buttons and postcards, but any teeny tiny object will do.

her style changes every week - most, if not all, of her clothes are thrifted. one week she’s baby spice and the next she’s lydia deetz. she combines pieces from different styles often - she looks like a barbie clothed by a child. she feels most comfortable like this.

will either patch-up the clothes that get too worn or reuse them in some way. sometimes donates the clothes she gets tired off - isn’t minimalistic, but she’s learned to keep only a small amount of possessions.

the only consistency is her lucky ribbon - it’s pastel yellow and silky and as thin as a shoelace. she ties it onto her outfit of the day, everyday. if she loses it, she’s lost. elektra has a matching ribbon (& so does leo fowler eyes emoji)

has no problem with minor theft - she only takes bare minimum, puts herself and elektra first and that’s how it’s always been. she tries to be good while in preaker / yates - would hate to be forced out by mobs with torches and pitchforks

currently living in calloway while elektra stays in their van, florence - sometimes philly stays there during the weekends.

they used to live in motels on the occasion, the cheapest room, and more often than not they’d both go home with strangers for a comfier bed and a hotter shower.

it was a common occurrence - she didn’t sleep with them - but somehow, she weaseled her way into their homes anyway. has come out mostly unscathed, on most occasions. this has been a practice ever since they’ve been on the road.

really, truly - has not slept with anybody, had her first and only kiss at thirteen with a frog. this doesn’t bother her. edit: her first & only kisses hv been w leo fowler. this is important

will consume anything you put in front of her - isn’t picky.

listens to whatever they’ve picked up along the way but she likes instrumentals the best. her second favorite genre is 1990′s and 2000′s top hits. they’re nostalgic for her. third favorites? florence, of course. fleetwood mac. the bird and the bee.

loves storms - will go out in the rain and will risk her life for it.

owns a pair of roller-skates and is often skating rather than walking. unless she’s on grass - then she’s walking barefoot.

has many hobbies, and gets bored of them often. her favorite hobby is welding. she’s not certified.

also, juggling.

also, accordion.

the kind of girl who’ll do any job you give her. odd jobs are her favorite jobs. babysitting is her least favorite - but she does it anyway. has lost children before. have they ever been found? not by philly.

dyes her hair blonde often and cuts her own hair - bangs included - finds it cathartic, likes the itchiness of bleach.

everything she does is often in pursuit of feeling free, alive, and meaningful.

( like her frequent visits to the woods, late at night when the moon is high and full. it’s freeing to dance around a fire, stark naked in the cold. builds immunity )

comes and goes wherever she pleases, nothing & nobody can stop her. she knows to respect nature. exudes natural trust energy <3 dont know wht tht means but

the trust expands to animals as well, she has a certain knack for getting them to like her. has too many ‘pet’ rats that reside with her, alongside a baby raccoon & a few crow pals. has a new animal companion everyday, but she doesn’t contain them or force them to stay. edit: she hs a tabby cat named pail, now. named in honor of her mother, bucket.

leaves her window in calloway wide open because of this, because her window is conveniently right besides a tree with sturdy branches. good for animal smuggling, sneaking in and out, hiding, etc. etc. world is her oyster.

though her room in calloway is ??? frankly a mess ??? already ??? usually keeps most of her possessions in her memory box but she’s also turned her room into a mini labyrinth of knick-knacks. very cozy, but very nest-like. think of howl’s room from howl’s moving castle.

wanted connections.

how did you get in here ;; someone whose room she perhaps crashed at late at night, mysteriously. she refuses to explain where she’s come from. she’s gone before you wake. they could literally not know her at all she’s just sleeping halfway under their bed like <3 thank you <3

ma’am this is a wendys ;;  someone who sees her constantly <3 doing outlandish shit <3 bc lets b real. shes weird. shes a weirdo. why do u think she wears the same hat everyday. (she doesnt wear hats often) anyways. they probably dnt even like her? just think shes very strange?

im literally going to dissect you ;;  someone who. wants to figure out philly. pick at her brain. wear her shoes. kind of in the same category of above in this general like. ur fkn weird. bt they wna figure out why <3 they wna play therapist <3 jokes on u she hates therapists

liddle thief in the night ;; someone who has caught her stealing. or dining n dashing. either/or. perhaps both. she steals a lot :/

oh like. friends n stuff ;; of any closeness. ppl she talks 2 conspiracies with, ppl she goes on late night walks with, ppl she explores with, ppl she steals with, ppl she smokes with, etc. etc. ppl who bring her out to parties cos they like her funky little ways when she gets drunk n tries to climb atop everything <3 

thts nice. anyways ;; this is fr like. literally anything unrequited. philly doesnt like <3 a lot of ppl <3 In That Way. so its basically just. ur muse thinks shes very neat n she thinks ur muse is very neat bt platonically. she doesnt do hookups or anything n if she does i tend 2 like. run purely based off of chemistry even with. most of her connections in general.

uuhh. anything ;; HLKDGKSDLKGHLKSFDSHGKFD i nvr rly hv a lot of connections up fr philly bc shes like. a very unpredictable muse n i think its usually better to just. throw her in! n see wht happens! we cn still plot obv n come up w some fun things bt fr the most part shes very organic

[epouvantes]

❛ jeon jungkook, demiboyflux, he/they ❜ was that kim moonsik? the twenty-two year old freelance photographer has been in town since birth. the witch has a reputation for being disorganized & affectionate. you know they’re around when you get flashes of ( mismatched socks, taking buzzfeed quizzes into the dead of night, dancing when no one is watching & believing in signs ). rumor has it, they are a member of the high coven. { samu, est, 25, she/they }

( OOC: TW: ANXIETY MENTION AT THE END OF THIS PARAGRAPH. hi! i’m samu, i’m 25 and i use she/they pronouns! i’m so so so so so excited for this rp and for you all to meet my babies!!!!! i wanted to make this lil ooc section just to let y’all know that i’ll be posting longer and more detailed intro-like posts for my charas eventually, but i wanted to be able to give lil summaries and connection ideas before then so!!!!! there it is!!!!! thank u sm for reading!!!!! also if i ever message you to plot, which i’d like to do with everyone if my social anxiety allows it, pls don’t feel obligated to plot with me at all!!!!! i love connecting with other writers and stuff but i’ll completely understand if you’re not up to plot with me and my charas <33 ) ← this is the same ooc paragraph in all of my first three intros, so pls feel free to skip it! <3

brief introduction.

moonsik’s parents moved from ulsan, south korea, to blackthorne about eight years before the boy was born. he grew up in blackthorne along with his two older siblings (they’re fraternal twins a couple of years older than moonsik), and had a pretty comfortable childhood! however, his mother left the family when he was only five years old, and he’s never seen or talked to her since. the reasoning behind her departure is still a mystery to moonsik, and he’s definitely still confused/sad about it, but!! i won’t delve too much into that yet!! i’ll def write about it in my longer bio/intro thingy later on, though!! 

his dad remarried, when moonsik was nine years old, to a woman who had lived in blackthorne all her life!! i’m not gonna develop the step-mother too much bc i’ll definitely send in some wanted connections soon (for her + moonsik’s dad, siblings and step-siblings! and maybe more?), but she actually has a really good relationship with moonsik!! he doesn’t see her as a mother tbh, but he really loves and respects her and!! even during his more rebellious phases in high school she was like the one (1) person in the family he always felt he could talk to!!

relationships with siblings and step-siblings are to be developed tm!! i’ll be sending in wanted connections for them soon as i said before so i might add a bit to it in there but tbh i’ll try to keep things vague so that they’re easier to fill!!

moonsik did NOT like school. like, at all. i think probably at least one of his siblings was like...... super strong academically, and it mayhaps played on moonsik’s confidence a bit to constantly see his sibling(s) get praised for their accomplishments?? and like..... his dad, siblings, step-mom and step-siblings have never put pressure on him?? he did so himself after seeing others succeed so much and wishing he could do so as well?? and don’t get me wrong; he’s skilled at plenty of things (especially visual arts)!! but having difficulties academically really did affect his self confidence :(

i said this was going to be short rip sdlfijsdlkfjsdlkfjsdklf i’M SO SORRY!!!!!

ok so!! outside of all the family stuff!! moonsik’s been exploring his gender identity for about three years now, and he finally feels like he has the right word/definition for it all!! demiboyflux is honestly a word he didn’t even know of until a couple of months ago, but as soon as he saw the definition for it (here’s a link to a simple definition!) he was so happy because it was him and it felt perfectly right??

he’s not exactly out to that many people concerning his gender identity bc as much as he loves who he is he just isn’t ever sure how to bring it up?? also, most of the time he’s fine with masculine nouns (boy, man, brother, son, boyfriend, husband, prince, etc.) AND he’s perfectly fine with both he and they as far as pronouns go, so...... he just doesn’t feel like it’s absolutely necessary for him to discuss it with EVERYONE, you know? but at the same time sometimes he kind of feels like just ranting and rambling and gushing about all of it, which is why he actually started an anonymous blog (eyes emoji tm) last month, and it’s been super helpful for him!!

he’s a freelance photographer rn, and he honestly really likes it!! however, since he’s not super well established yet (and doesn’t have an official diploma or anything like that - he quit university after two semesters), he isn’t making tons of money, and is therefore currently living with his dad and step-mother. it’s becoming a bit suffocating to him tbh?? and he’s highkey considering getting a part-time job too so that he can maybe make enough money to afford renting a lil apartment or room or something!!

super disorganized!! it’s probably one of the things he fights about the most with his family bc they kinda see his lack of organization as him being quite irresponsible (and they’re not completely wrong maybe, but still), and he’s never really done anything to change this part of him?? like, he’s always losing stuff, forgetting things behind, not remembering appointments, forgetting to send in important documents on time, never checking his voice mail and/or inbox, etc.

affectionate af!!!!! a sweetheart, tbh?? like, he’s kind of reserved so people tend to assume that he’s not the most friendly, but he’s actually rlly sweet!! he’s very openly affectionate with the people he’s close to, never hesitating to wrap himself around someone or plop down in someone’s lap or anything like that (though he is careful about who is and isn’t comfortable with that ofc! tbh in the past he didn’t take that into consideration all that much and he honestly feels really bad about it now, so he’s SUPER careful about other people’s boundaries now)!! also....... he will 110% deny it, but he LOVES attention. like he’ll wither away without attention i sdlfjslkdjfksldf

he’s bi and has known for a long time, and he’s actually been out as such since he was seventeen years old! 

( WARNING: MENTIONS OF SEXUAL ACTIVITY ) he’s had two serious-ish relationships in his life so far, but outside of those he’s actually quite enjoyed doing more casual sexual things with people he finds attractive/interesting/etc!! he actually prefers fwbs to one night stands and i can DEF see that leading to some tension in the future with some of his friends.........

HE’S SO PROUD OF BEING A WITCH!!!!!! his entire family are witches (maybe not his step-mother and step-siblings, though? it’ll depend on whether or not they get taken up as wanted connections and, in the case they do, what the people playing them prefer!), and he’s so!!!!!! passionate about it!!!!! he hates learning in school and stuff but when it comes to learning about magic, especially healing magic, he’s so eager and passionate and !!!!!! he loves it :( idk if his father and siblings are in the high coven tbh but!!!!! he is definitely quite proud to be part of it!!!! also he’s probs definitely one of the most eye-roll-y judgemental ones when it comes to what he thinks of the bloodstone coven !! he deadass doesn’t get why they would practice the kind of magic they practice and he’s???? like he wouldn’t be straight up /rude/ to them without reason but he’s def not as friendly as usual around them i think (though ofc there might be exceptions!!)

connection ideas.

CHILDHOOD BEST FRIENDS: probably around 2 to 4 of those?? i’m picturing this lil group to have been thick as thieves since they were little kids (although maybe one or more of them joined their lil friend group later on in their childhood and/or teenage years?), and i just really want a group of super close friends who know each other better than the backs of their own hands and who may tease each other mercilessly but who still love and adore each other (no matter whether or not they actually say those words aloud dlffkjsdkjfsdlkjfsdlkf)!! age-wise i was thinking they could all be between 21 and 25 years old?? ( 00 / 02-04 )

EXES: as mentioned earlier, moonsik has been in two romantic relationships in the past that were somewhat serious? one of them was probably a high school relationship that last for like 14 months and ended just because they did not click well together AT ALL but had gotten into a relationship bc high school and stuff, you know?? (i think that ex would have probs identified as a cis woman back then - whether they still do or not is up to you - since they probs started dating before moonsik came out as bi?) and i feel like mayhaps recently they’ve gotten in touch again and actually click quite well as friends nowadays, although there are zero (0) romantic feelings between them anymore (just saying, but..... mlm/wlw solidarity is rad tm!! it’s not a necessity ofc but!! yes!!) NOW THE OTHER EX!!!!!!! i feel like this one would have been a bit more recent?? and probably with a man or masc presenting person?? since it’d be more recent, and the relationship would have been quite important to moonsik, i’d like not to add too much to it here and instead work it out with whoever may end up being interested in that connection? ( 00 / 02 )

EMPLOYER(S): people who’ve hired moonsik for his photography skills!!!! maybe also a future/eventual employer for when he ends up finally looking for a part-time job?? mayhaps they could be friends of some of moonsik’s family members?? oooooh what about someone who knew his mother?? (although ig that’ll be easier to work out when i 100% decide why she left dslfjksdkjfsdkljf) ( 00 / ?? )

FRIEND AND/OR ENEMY WITH BENEFITS: ( WARNING: MENTIONS OF SEXUAL ACTS ) i’m thinking that moonsik probably doesn’t hook up with too many people at the same time unless he knows for sure that the other person doesn’t mind it? so the number for this connection will change depending on that!! also i reaaaaaaally love BOTH the idea of friends with benefits AND enemies with benefits since they can both bring in v interesting storylines!! also i’m not totally opposed to having moonsik hook up with his most recent ex (bc i love angst), but it’s definitely not a necessity! ( 00 / 01 )

DEALER: ( WARNING: DRUGS TW ) he did quite a few hard drugs in hs, which was 100% part of one of his rebellious phases, and although he doesn’t do anything too strong anymore, he does rlly like weed (prefers edibles to smoking tho bc no matter how often he does it he always coughs and it’s embarrassing!!!!!), and i’d love a connection with his dealer?? preferably one that’s kind of humorous?? ( 00 / 01 )

[kazumahashimoto]

cheer danshi gender and sexuality master list. i went over the genders in my trans kazu analysis but :) well. so i will just make a whole post. some of these will be expanded upon and some won't🤷‍♀️

kazu - gay trans guy. undoubtedly the gayest character in cheer danshi. i don't think he neccesarily knew he was TRANS when his parents were still alive but i think he definitely made it a point to not want to be in dresses and such and his parents were more than happy to allow that. kazu loves his mom so so much and he named himself after her once he was ready to pick a new name :) i imagine him and haru writing a list of names and circling things and crossing them out and what not. i also just adore the idea of kazu being trans and the captain of an all men's cheer club. it would be so liberating and scary at the same time. it gives even more reason fur him wanting haru to join so bad. him being trans and his relationship with saku also makes me very happy :) saku seeing another trans guy on the cheer squad (the CAPTAIN even) and especially being a FLIER..... i mean we saw how happy he was. i can (AND DID LOL) do a wholeeeee analysis on trans kazu though so i'll leave it at that.

saku - gay trans guy. GENUINELY gay not even coded. i don't care. like saku has THE MOST EXPLICIT CRUSH on kazu. he is not coded. the only thing they could have done to make it more obvious is just have him fucking say i'm gay. he's gay. genuinely canon gay character in cheer danshi. explictly. he's also absolutely trans coded. the amount of times someone has asked "are you sure you aren't a girl" is unbearable. in the manga we see him like actually getting harassed over it not just shitty gen being an asshole fur Funsies. HOWEVER it's not all bad!!! saku likes wearing cute things and even though he's a little insecure sometimes he never let's that stop him from doing what he loves!! and of course at the end of the show we get his line about how he was worried about how "little and girlish" he was until he met kazu. i relate to saku a lot especially with not being passing so yeah little trans boy.

sho - gay nb. i imagine his gender IS that he's gay yknow. very much he loves men and also not having a gender. his clothes are hideous. i think it's very very very funny to say he's gay coded just because of his clothes and even if that's not what coding means this is MY show. i decide which characters are canonically gay. and shou is the second gayest.

hisashi - gay trans guy. the final gay of the four gay men. he had his little "i don't talk to girls" moment and he has an enemies to lovers with takeru. kinda gay. takeru is shown walking hisashi's dog in one of the box set covers soooooo i assume things are going well. i'm saying he's trans not only because i want takeru to be the token cis between him hisashi and saku but ALSO because i want saku to have another trans person that he's close to and NOT madly in love with.

haru - bi and cis. i think haru being cis is 1 funny and 2 reallyyyy adds to kazu's mental illness. i don't think kazu would idolize him being CIS but i DO think he'd idolize things like his voice getting deeper and having a flat chest. i felt like that a LOT when i was friends with cis boys but i never wanted to BE cis so i imagine kazu going through that as well. when him and kazu were in judo together he made it clear to his parents that kazu was gonna be on the boys team with him and him and haruko made sure no one gave him any problems. also he's bi because protag of course he's bi.

wataru - bi and cis. sometimes he says gay things and he gets flustered over girls.

ton - bi and cis. very nice :) his gf chihiro is so sweet and nice and they have matching phone cases which is so cute!!!! they are just so cute with each other i love them sm....

gen - cishet. rot

ichiro - cishet. rot

takeru - bi and cis. token cis as a said and his little enemies to lovers with hisashi.

chen - gay and cis. him and saku talk about cute boys together and they go to the mall. little fruity friends call that twink alliance.

kin - bi trans guy. i want him to be trans really really badly especially because of his friendship with saku in the manga but also because idk he's just very tall and intimidating and i want him to be trans. ALSO dou and natsuki look up to him SO much and i imagine they've known each other since FUREVER and i want kin to have that support. also kin has a big crush on coach takegi and it very much gives woman picking up man vibes like i don't think she's interested but he is very respectful and i think big intimidating man just wants to be cared fur.....

dou - bi trans guy. he looks up to kin SO much and kin being trans as well just makes him so much happy and they support each other a lot :)

natsuki - bi and cis. i want the little cis boy to look up to the big trans man. also natsuki and dou are dating. also the three of them are a little bi trio

takumi - gay and cis. something about him man. gay.

takuya - bi and cis. something about him man. bi. i think him and kin probably make out at LEAST once a week. "oh we've just been job hunting together" EVERYDAY? so often you're missing practice? smells fruity to me.

haruko - bi and cis. and gnc. she had the line "sometimes i wish i had just been born a boy so things would be easier" because she was frustrated that haru didn't need to work as hard as she did to be good at judo so that's partially why i hc them both as cis. i do think she's gnc though just cos that's the vibe. they never met in the anime but i think her and sakura could be cute together <3 also her and haru bi siblings.

sakura - lesbian and cis. her and sho are very much gay best friends. she was a jock femme, he was a jock twink. they are good friends :)

chihiro - bi trans girl!!!!! she is so cute and sweet and kinda clumsy and i just love her so much. her and ton are so cute. they're just so cute.

takegi - bi and cis. idk who her previous partner was but she has a son and she is a very good mom and coach 😌 milf

and yeah that's everyone i think 👍

[yojeongin]

small written portion under images ★彡

sleepless

masterlist in bio

[pt.7: so sad, so sad]

pairings: ugrapper!yoongi x coworker!reader

genre: sex shop au, sm au, crack humor, fluff, angst, and smut

a/n: listen to so far away when reading this part 😔

You could hear the chatter from the living room. It was Yuta and Namjoon agreeing to leave your apartment just so the well needed intimacy with Yoongi could take place without the worry of having to muffle your cries (and hopefully his).

It hadn’t always been like this. Your parents never really asked much from you before attending university. It wasn’t until you became friends with third year, Mani Choi that their expectation begun to actually form and their want of perfection coming from you to exist.

You couldn’t blame Mani herself, she’d always show discomfort when your parents tried comparing you to her or simply tried to defend you with the repetitive excuse of: “Everyone in their own have different ambitions and I’m glad ours are nowhere near similar.” Of course it would only be swept under the rug as they praised her dreams and plans in life.

It’s rather useless to even try and compare Mani to you. Mani’s dreams consist of helping children in need of education, to travel and give the aide they deserved— and as much as you adored her dedication and kindness, you just couldn’t bear being compared to that. It was too perfect, she was too perfect whilst you— well, there’s nothing to say.

You didn’t have any dreams and it isn’t worth trying to remember the ones you used to have as they’ve been long dead and thrown into a pile of oblivion. As hard as you tried, nothing in life was worth it. Everything you did was for the purpose of surviving and living the monotone life you’ve carried for ever since you can remember.

Perhaps that’s why you cling to Yoongi. Seeing him always come in tired and hungry, prominent bags under his eyes, and most of all— works hard to create what he loves: music.

Being with him wasn’t anything regular. There was always the thrill of the unexpected. Despite your relationship within the confines of work and the public eye— Yoongi and you were closer than believed so.

When you can’t sleep, he’s on the other line lulling you to sleep. If he needs inspiration or help with lyrics, he’s at your apartment with whatever street food he can find at such hours. When it’s clear that he isn’t taking care of himself or his body, you’d always make sure to be where he’s at no matter what time or location.

You were there for him and he was there for you.

The mere thought of having him being distant due to the ‘what if’ of Mani only caused a heavy weight to collapse against your chest. The lump in your throat not daring to leave as you held back whatever tears you had.

“Bimbo, open the door. Please…” his voice was soft and tired, raspy at that. It was obvious he hadn’t slept much. “Give me a second.” You’d speak as loud as you could (a mere whisper.)

Standing up from the cold tile floor, hitting your elbow on accident against the counter. Not daring to look at the mirror, you unlocked the door opening a bit just to his tired pale face.

He didn’t smile at you nor did you. The comfort of knowing it was just the two of you was fine within the silence of the apartment. All the lights excluding the bedroom lights and restroom where off. Yoongi sighed looking at you moments away from releasing all you had. “Come on.” His voice was groggy and his arm stretched to hold your shoulder.

His touch was soft as always. Comforting. That’s how it felt when you were with Yoongi. Peace and comfort was the only thing that filled your tired persona. In all honesty being with Yoongi felt like the greatest thing one could experience. The definition of happiness in which you wished to live your whole life.

It’s more than just that, but the rest can’t be explained. It has to only be experienced.

“Your shorts are in the last drawer.” Yoongi had sat you down on the bed as the two of you went inside. Looking to where you pointed at, he only nodded walking towards the drawers. His face demonstrated surprise, yet his lips formed into a playful smirk seeing how neatly his clothes were stored in the drawer. “Stop stealing my stuff.” He’d playfully hint, a smile growing at your lips as your head hung low, hair covering your embarrassment.

“Stop attacking me. It’s not my fault you always leave them behind everywhere.” Yoongi never seemed to remember his items if they didn’t hold a important value to him. In other words he’d never leave his journal behind.

From all the times he stayed at your apartment— many of his sweaters, caps, and even shirts were left behind making Yuta tease you despite knowing nothing happened.

Yoongi loved seeing the way he made you become flustered, his heart couldn’t take it when you’d become shy from just a simply touch from him. Regardless of his obvious demonstrations of affection and interest, he felt like there was nothing he could offer you. Yoongi was fixated on the idea that his ambitions wouldn’t allow him to treat you the way you were meant to. Along that he saw himself as less compared to what you already had. It was a cold case of lady and the tramp. Whatever he could offer, you’d already have.

But most importantly you both were stubborn to admit true feelings. Something Yuta, Eunwoo, Hoseok, and Namjoon took as an advantage for teasing and indirectly push either of you to talk about it.

“Close your eyes. I’ll sleep in the restroom if you peak.” Joking was the coping mechanism you both had, anger was never something either of you liked expressing and if you did, it was only through facial expression that made others stay back, but till this day you still had to see either angry.

“Just one peak, Yoongi.” You’d tease, hands covering your eyes and back facing him. “No.” Giggling you nodded, laying on your side with both hands still on your eyes.

It was awfully silent and the ruffling of his jeans seemed to be accompanying the AC. Staying in that position you could only remember the words your mother threw at you. The pain rushing back and anger of comparison getting to you once again.

Getting lost in those thoughts you didn’t realize he was done and the feeling of arms wrap around you with the bed sinking caused for your hands to become damp with the tears you harshly contained due to how hard your palms pressed at your eyes. “Was it your mom again?” He’d whisper against your ear, his warm breath caressing your ear lobe and his voice only making you come closer to him.

Your face was pressed against his chest, the musk of sweat and cologne intoxicating your senses. He went back to the Shed, that’s why he was down. It could only mean LGP was behind his own despondence. Nonetheless you felt comfort with being this close to him. It was new, other times he’d only hold you when the conversation was done and at that, it was a simple hug, maybe sometimes you’d wake up in each other’s arms but it was only expected when loneliness got the best of you both.

“What did she say?” His volume was normal now, your breathing trying to stay calm as you recollected all that she said, but the mere memory made you tongue tied leaving the silence to speak for you. “She’s just so… so demanding!” The crack at your voice made him pull you closer to him, his grip tightening for comfort and protection. “It’s always the same thing. To be like those she wants me to be. To follow their example and be them, but I don’t want to be them… at this point I hate them.” Your voice faltered as the sentence progressed and a sob left your lips as your hands held his shirt.

The hand that wasn’t holding you, stroked your hair, cooing for relaxation. “Earlier this week she sent me a list of companies I have to work at. Choose one and settle down once in for all. Quit the shop and force myself into the corporate world—“ your hand had left his shirt alone, moving under his arm to hold him as well. It took Yoongi by surprise, but the comfort of being held by you was enough to make him forget his own problems.

“I was supposed to meet with them today and go over my top three but I didn’t even spare a glance at the list. That’s why she called, wondering why I hadn’t visited them; she has this stupid rule of not letting anyone she doesn’t know into the apartment so when she heard you guys she went hysterical. I tried convincing her it was only Yuta— at some point I couldn’t handle her nagging and made her even more angry when I said I was tired of the treatment… I think at this point she’s disowned me.” Yoongi’s chest ached horribly thinking he was the cause of your pain.

A lump formed in the back of his throat and tears threatened to fall. From the times he’d comfort you, he had never seen you cry. You handled your emotions perfectly well so seeing you so tired in front of him only caused for him to give in. “I’m so sorry… I really a—“ “It’s not your fault.” At this point your body pressed against his, your arm draped around his torso as you held him like he held you. A comforting intimate hug.

“You’d think this is bad but I could just imagine the horror if she found out of all the things she’s caused within me. Doubtful that she’d care for my state of mind and only call me ungrateful like many other times… sometimes I envy y/sister/n. She never had to go through this, but thinking about it, she voluntarily obtained the life they deem perfect.” His hand against your hair, holding you as tight as he could. Letting you go was not an option and you were thankful you had him in your life.

Sighing, Yoongi thought of your words. It wasn’t as different from what he had to go with his father. After his mother left, his father tried forcing him into the clean cut perfect life, one that didn’t include music or the pains of it.

His brother followed the same path as your sister, yet the difference was that Yoongi’s father was neither disappointed or pleased with his brother’s decision. The only importance was that he was living a comfortable and decent life unlike Yoongi.

The last news Mr. Min had heard about Yoongi was the drunken voicemail in which he just told him to fuck off and prove him that he’d accomplish his dreams.

Dreams. That seems to be the reoccurring topic.

“What happened at the shed?” Getting him out of his thoughts, Yoongi shook his head, eyes shutting. “Same old as well. That bastard buying off the crowd and making me look like fool every time I go up against him— I don’t understand his fixation on making my life hell. Maybe if he worked for what he wants then he would understand why I didn’t sell my work to him.” Your head slightly tilted upwards, admiring the features you could see.

A smile formed seeing his face but the thought of how painful it must feel to be discredited for your hard work, only caused a frown on your lips. “The way I spill my emotions into these songs can’t just be given away when you’re presented with stacks of money, y/n. Those songs are my struggles, my pain, my state of mind, my fatigue, and eventually the end of me… I haven’t dragged these weights of pain for years just to give them away.” Your arm left his torso, hand caressing his cheek as he spoke, making him melt against your touch.

“The pain of the rich always seem to amuse me. It’s valid but at some points but at others— it’s evident they’ve never heard no. Despite my lack of struggles I’d understand that something that big is not to be given away at all.” Yoongi smiled as he heard you, his thumb caressing your clothed waist. “Your pains revolve around the unknown, y/n. You don’t know what you want in life and you see it bleak, but you also don’t want the cookie cutter lifestyle that can easily be handed to you… and I appreciate that because many would easily take it— but you want the feeling of being alive and thriving on your own terms, and I love that about you.” You felt your breath hitch at his words, your hand only holding his face rather than caressing his cheek anymore.

“And your pains revolve around achieving your dreams. You, out of a few have dreams and you’re going through hell just to achieve it, even if this idiot is testing your patience but he’s not worth your time or a second thought to doubt what you’ve been working on all these years. May your trails end in full bloom.” His eyes had widened the moment you spoke but as you gradually finished, they softened, lips forming a smile as he held you even closer. “Maybe one day I’ll show you something I’m working on.”

“Really?!” You perked up at the sound of that, you couldn’t really look at him due to the way he held you, but the feeling of his lips pressing against your forehead caused for you tense against him in surprise and bliss. Within you— you hoped this meant more than what your heart could take.

“May your trials end in full bloom…”

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