#i love this song now btw and i'll always think of you :)

[katebeckets]

you could take me to Neverland, baby. (x)

for Aster @magicandmaybe ♡ happy holidays from your secret santa!

[astrxealis]

i really want to write a song one day

[convolutedblasphemy]

I wasn't shitting you guys btw I actually made the one-sided radiostatic playlists

here is my lyrical masterpiece. both the vox version and the alastor one. done my best to make it as lyrically accurate as possible. @styrofauxm @onesidedradiostatic i hope you enjoy this (go check out the full lyrics for the songs on google if you can't listen to it but i recommend it because all of these are bangers) feat. my stupid commentary and vox's pathetic wet cat energy

Click to listen to the Vox one on YouTube

1. the hearse — matt maeson

thought this one fit so well lyrically. the "what was it like to feel in love" part i interpreted as vox asking himself that rather than alastor

❞ i am the man we both couldn't stand, i can't wash off the dirt from my hands, what was it like to feel in love? [...] i will never go backwards, i will never be free, i will never run faster; will you sink down to me? ❝

2. i'm just ken — ryan gosling

i'm not even adding lyrics to this one, everyone should have seen the barbie movie and this song at this point. this just HAD to be in there. can you feel the kenergy?

3. too many friends — placebo

less about alastor, more about vox's existential crisis

❞ my computer thinks I'm gay, i threw that piece of junk away on the champs-elysées as I was walking home. this is my last communique, down the superhighway. all that I have left to say in a single tome... ❝

4. creep — radiohead

i mean isn't this literally his theme song?

❞ when you were here before... couldn't look you in the eye. you're just like an angel. your skin makes me cry. you float like a feather in a beautiful world. i wish I was special. you're so fuckin' special. but I'm a creep, i'm a weirdo, what the hell am I doin' here? ❝

5. where evil grows — the poppy family

y'all seen the sonic movie? we need to see vox do that dance.

❞ i like the way you smile at me, i felt the heat that enveloped me and what i saw i liked to see. i never knew where evil grew. i should have steered away from you, my friend told me to keep clear of you but something drew me near to you ❝

6. one of us — ava max

i had to edit this one a bit in the video and cut out the part about the kissing because that for sure didn't happen

❞ one of us would die for love; one of us would give it up. one of us would risk it all; one of us won't even call. one of us could say goodbye, never even bat an eye... ❝

7. colorblind — amber riley

more pathetic wet cat energy brought to you by yours truly

❞ i don't think that i'll ever find that silver lining or reason to smile. you know i used to paint such vibrant dreams, now I'm colorblind, colorblind. when did my heart get so full of never mind, never mind? did you know that you stole the only thing I needed? ❝

8. arcade — duncan lawrence

more pathetic wet cat energy brought to you by yours truly

❞ a broken heart is all that's left. i'm still fixing all the cracks. lost a couple of pieces when i carried it, carried it, carried it home. i've spent all of the love I saved. we were always a losing game; small town boy in a big arcade, i got addicted to a losing game... all i know, all i know: loving you is a losing game. ❝

9. if i can't have you — skylar astin

i picked the version from zoey's extraordinary playlist on purpose because the context of this scene is that the dude who sings it hires a bunch of singers and dancers to confess in a public space as you, the viewer, sit there and cringe at him as he gets rejected. if that doesn't have vox energy, i don't know what does.

❞ i'm good at keepin' my distance (lie), i know that you're the feelin' I'm missing. you know that I hate to admit it but everything means nothin' if I can't have you. i can't write one song that's not about you, can't drink without thinkin' about you. is it too late to tell you that everything means nothing if I can't have you? ❝

10. do you want me (dead)? — all time low

when vox asks himself whether alastor wants him or wants him dead it's definitely the second option.

❞ i let it ride on a bet, i doubled down on a sinking ship; need a second to catch my breath: do you want me? or do you want me dead? oh, give it up for at least a second; i'm getting sick of your bullshit attitude and how you walk around like you shine brighter, it's killing me, so what do you say? do you want me? or do you want me dead? ❝

11. push — ryan gosling

i can't just put one musical number from the barbie movie in and not include the other one that fits equally as well.

❞ said, i don't know if I've ever been good enough. i'm a little bit rusty and I think my head is cavin' in. and I don't know if I've ever been really loved by a hand that's touched me, and I feel like something's got to give and I'm a little bit angry, well, this ain't over, no, not here, no; not while I still need you around. ❝

Ice-cold rejection & vicious mockery: Alastor's version

the contrast of this is the best part.

Click here to listen to the Alastor one on YouTube

1. little big boy — madds buckley

he doesn't go easy on him. this is 0 compassion and 100% roast.

❞ brimstone fire and eyes aglow, little big boy's making the whole world know his name. raised on pillars and shining lights, breathing smoke for the right to keep his place. never satisfied 'till they all see how big this little boy can be. well the water's rising; tide's comin' in. does little big boy know how to swim in a pond filled with fish bigger than him? ❝

2. i help you hate me — sunrise avenue

he's so helpful fr but it's not working unfortunately

❞ i broke many hearts throughout my days. yours was the hardest one to face. though, I've never been a saint, i still love you every day, just not the lover kind of way. i know you wanna see me falling out, falling out the window. i know you wanna see me crashing down, crashing with my plane. baby, i'm way too young to die but I'll help you get over me. ❝

3. no surprise — daughtry

this is one of my favorite bands, i'm glad i got to include this.

❞ it came out like a river once i let it out when i thought that i wouldn't know how. held onto it forever just pushing it down, felt so good to let go of it now. not wrapping this in ribbons, shouldn't have to give a reason why: it's no surprise i won't be here tomorrow, i can't believe that I stayed 'til today. there's nothing here in this heart left to borrow. there's nothing here in this soul left to save. don't be surprised when we hate us tomorrow. ❝

4. go screw yourself — avery

i can picture him 1:1 delivering a swing version of this when vox confesses to him

❞ i know i've been holding it in, the way i feel about you. something i've been dying to say but I don't know how you'll take it; oh please don't go; you should know these three words i've been holding back; trying to fight, i'mma let 'em out... these three words, gotta let you know, here I go: go screw yourself. i've had enough, yeah, now we're done. ❝

5. the audacity — emelyn

this one's such a bop honestly. had to cut it in the video because i can't picture alastor realistically crying over anything vox-related.

❞ think your opinions should be broadcast... even though no one's subscribing, listening or liking but by all means, keep whining. must be tough if life's so rough. you should buy a mic, start a podcast, even though, wait, nobody asked. [...] where do all these men find the audacity? no actually, i'm stunned by your stupidity. ❝

6. friends — halocene

this one had to be on here.

❞ have you got no shame? you're looking insane turning up at my door. it's two in the morning, the rain is pouring, haven't we been here before? [...] so don't go look at me with that look in your eye, you really ain't going away without a fight. you can't be reasoned with, i'm done being polite. i've told you one, two, three, four, five, six thousand times. haven't I made it obvious? haven't I made it clear? want me to spell it out for you? f-r-i-e-n-d-s ❝

7. can't catch me now — olivia rodrigo

he likes the attention def especially after his return

❞ bet you thought i'd never do it, thought it'd go over my head. i bet you figured i'd pass with the winter, be somethin' easy to forget. oh, you think i'm gone 'cause i left but i'm in the trees, i'm in the breeze, my footsteps on the ground. you'll see my face in every place but you can't catch me now. through wading grass, the months will pass, you'll feel it all around. i'm here, i'm there, i'm everywhere but you can't catch me now ❝

8. take a hint — victoria justice & elizabeth gillies

this is on every rejection playlist and it's gonna be on mine too. a bop even after all these years.

❞ ask me for my number, yeah, you put me on the spot. you think that we should hook up, but I think that we should not. you had me at "hello", then you opened up your mouth and that is when it started going south. [...] what about "no" don't you get? so go and tell your friends i'm not really interested. it's about time that you're leavin', i'm gonna count to three and open my eyes and you'll be gone ❝

9. no — madilyn bailey & megan nicole

more rejection for y'all. the world needs more mean aroaces and this playlist is my contribution.

❞ first you gonna say you ain't runnin' game, thinking i'm believing every word; call me beautiful, so original, telling me I'm not like other girls, i was in my zone before you came along, now i'm thinking maybe you should go ❝

10. oh no — marina and the diamonds

a classic.

❞ don′t do love, don't do friends; i′m only after success. don't need a relationship, i'll never soften my grip [...] i know exactly what i want and who i want to be. i know exactly why i walk and talk like a machine. i'm now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy. ❝

Reblogs are appreciated!

[nervocat]

“The stars look down on you as you wander with your cat guide. They want to tell you a story of theirs. Will you listen to them?”

# — Notes: I'M SO PROUD OF THIS FIC OMGG. This is my first time writing for him tho so. This is also based on Frank Sinatras song "Somethin' Stupid" hehe. (@dumbificat , @aventurintus , @rainswept ⛧ @ ing you three bc yeah :33). I've also GOTTA stop overthinking my fics bc I don't think the ending went well so now I feel the entire fic isn't good.. oops... THIS IS ALSO MY LONGEST FIC EVER BTW # — Word count: 1.1k # — Fandom: Honkai: star rail # — Cw: just a hint of angst but nothing rlly

—Somethin' Stupid

Aventurine walks around Golden Hour, that same smile of his on his face as he takes in the scenery of Penacony for who knows how many times.

“Aventurine!” he hears you call. He immediately stops and looks behind him, and seeing you running over to him makes his smile slightly more genuine.

“Why hello, [name],” he greets you as you come to a halt in front of him. You seemed out of breath, as if you had sought him out for something.

And he wonders why you, of all people in the universe, would search for him.

“I think I've got some free time, so I was wondering if you'd wanna hang out? We don't do it as much anymore,” you say after you catch your breath, though you still breathe heavily from running.

“It would seem so.. how about we go back to the good old days and gamble with each other?”

“Aventurine!” you say in a teasing, playful tone, elbowing him slightly. The blond laughs a bit.

“What? Does [name] not want to lose to me again?”

“Whatever,” you scoff playfully. “But fine, I suppose we could go do that if you want.”

You groan as you put your cards down on the table, hand in your hair. Aventurine — unsurprisingly — won again. While you guys didn't bet large amounts of money and you earned good amounts of it with your job, it still hurt to lose the money.

“Aaand I win,” he sets his cards down on the table, sitting casually in his chair as an arm is behind his head and a leg over his knee. “You’re definitely better than before though, might I say,” Aventurine adds with a cunning smile.

You look up at him as you lean back in your chair, huffing. “Really? I still lost though, of course.. don't think I'll ever win against you,” you answer, and Aventurine can't help but let a genuine smile sneak it's way onto his lips.

It has been a while of knowing each other, and while he has come to terms with liking you — liking being more like love — it was still an odd feeling for him.

Aventurine moves his hand to take a sip of his drink, as do you, and finds himself slipping up on his words — “I love you,” — is what he murmurs. He tenses and looks up to you, his pretty, mixed eyes meeting with yours as you hold your glass in your hand, lips touching the rim of the glass.

How could he have slipped up? How could he have spoiled this night with you? How could he have confessed like this in front of you, you whom he is infatuated with?

It's silent for a moment before you laugh, taking a sip of your drink. “Oh, Aventurine, you’re really saying that here?” he could tell from your eyes you didn't believe his accidental proclamation of love, maybe even despised it in the sense he's said it many other times in a not-so-serious way (that being when he still wasn't aware of his feelings for you).

Aventurine sighs, finally taking that drink he wanted and gulped the rest of it down. “Yes, you're right, how silly of me,” he plays it off, putting his glass down on the table. “Would you like to leave for tonight, mx. [name]? We could always do this another time.”

Oh how he hates knowing he had ruined the night with you by slipping up and saying somethin’ stupid.

“Yeah, I should probably get back to work anyways,” you say as you stand up, a smile creeping into your face. “But, I'll help you clean up before I go, Aven.” said man nods, his mood having turned sour because of his own words.

But oh how right those words felt to say to you, like they have to no one else before.

Aventurine looks at himself in the mirror the night after he hung out with you. His hat was discarded somewhere else and his glasses sat by the sink.

What was he doing? He was practicing words to say to you, to get his feelings across to you and to get you to know that they are, in fact, genuine words.

Aventurine thinks that he's ready to talk with you again, but decides to go off and do his own thing until you say you're ready to go out again.

He walks the streets of Golden Hour again, and he perks up at your voice. Aventurine turns around with his smile turned genuine. “[name]! If it isn't you, my dear friend,” the smell of his perfume wafts over you, though it's not too overpowering this time around.

His perfume smelt nice.. you wondered why it smelt like your favorite scent, but you let it be. “I have some free time again and was wondering if you just wanted to walk around Golden Hour? It's a nice night to do so” You ask him. Aventurine nods.

“Of course, this is your free time you're spending after all,” he answers. You smile at him and as you start walking, so you don't notice the red tint coating his cheeks, a lovestruck smile on his face.

You two walk for a while, just talking about memories or things going on in the other's life. You both were normally very busy individuals, so getting one-on-one time like this was something you both valued.

You and Aventurine, after walking for a bit, have made it to a more secluded part of Penacony, the start sky view not hindered much now with the lack of buildings around.

Aventurine looks over at you as you talk about how work was for you. He finds himself saying those words again after gaining his composure — “I love you, [name],” — and you can hear the sincerity in his voice and see it in his facial expression, it holding a fondness for you.

Aventurine believes he's said somethin’ stupid again, and he was about to switch off of the topic at your shocked face and no response until you say those words back to him.

“I love you too, Aven,” he looks back at you, his eyes widening. “I realized I might've been a bit.. rude, the last time you said you love me.”

You love him? You love him? Aventurine, who is renowned to be a cunning liar and to not be fully trusted?

Aventurines perfume comes back over your senses again and you wholeheartedly welcome it as you wait for his reply. “You.. love me?” he repeats to himself as he turns his body to you.

“Yes, Aventurine, I do love you,” you cup his cheeks in your hands and he melts at your touch.

Under the stars of the Penacony dreamscape, you two share your first kiss with one another, and when you pull away, Aventurine wraps his arm around you in a gentle, warm hug full of gratitude for giving him a chance with you.

★ — © nervocat 2024 || I appreciate any reblogs made, and pls don't repost or translate my works anywhere, ty — ✦

[littledigits]

Random facts that may amuse you about the river episode of hilda

To be handed a script and then be like ' ok now lead your team to do the visuals' its like ,a wild experience so I want to share some of the weird things my brain latched onto .. For the door sequence, My pitch to our location and color designers was based off of a blacklight, under water themed mini-putt course I used to love when I was a kid. Just goes to show you can really pull inspiration from anywhere haha. I dont think anyone expected me to go that buck wild with it but I'm glad everyone was on board. anyway.. I lovingly called it Eugene's ' Putt Putt cave of doom ' . I wanted the doors to look kind of flat, like stage props ! The mini putt is STILL THERE BTW . look at this video. GOSH I MISS IT SO MUCH.

Anyway - It works great too because it allowed everyone to have the cooler blacklight palettes, where you can see Eugenes -true- colors. I wanted him to be duller outside of the water on purpose. Cuz hes just a lil old timey guy. A " slightly deranged Stan Laurel " , which was what i had in my pitch notes to the design team.

Heres another silly fact but we based part of the serpent off of the sarcastic fringehead cuz..look at it . its just like -AHHHHHHHHHH. It just waves its mouth infront of other fish and it looks scary but it doesnt DO ANYTHING. ( I think, biologists can correct me)

Also just in general I was vibing with the old..creatures on a map . Like. Of course we're going to give this serpent hooves. OF COURSE THIS SEA SERPENT NEEDS HOOVES. So the designers did a few rounds based off of way older illustrations.

The choice of shadow puppets was done to give Eugene an 'old timey' flavor. I really wanted him to feel more vaudeville and tap dancey - so the shadow puppets were to give him a..more modest intro. The adventures of prince achmed was an inspiration, because how old school animation can you get ! And it really backed up the use of bold colors. I wanted to save his BIGGEST performance to the end, also shout out to @castletoons who boarded this episode AND nailed the song sequence WITHOUT EVEN HAVING THE FINAL SONG?! It fit perfectly. It was fate.

oh , and if you felt a particular beetle juicey tone to this whole episode? You're not wrong ! While it wasnt on my mind when I was first working on visual concepts, our storyboard supervisor Jeff Bittle showed me this intro from the second season of the animated show. Everything zipping at the camera on this endless void ride was the perfect chaotic energy that really helped bring in that sinister tone.

UH SO YEAH I mean I could go on about some of the thought processes behind choices and stuff and honestly I dont want to get into the weeds with opening up a pandoras box on behind the scenes of hilda or whatever. But I thought this episode was a fun example to kind of share a bit of The entire team ran with this weird chaotic energy and I appreciate them so much for it. I'll always love this strange lil episode.

[lowkeyrobin]

MCYT ; songs that they associate with you

includes tommyinnit, tubbo, freddie badlinu, ranboo, quackity

warnings ; horrible music taste. Did a few for each of them lmaooo. also let's act like dmca doesn't exist on twitch or whatever. if schlatt can play Fleetwood Mac on stream then who cares yk

masterlist

BADLINU

Kiss From A Rose ; Seal

You guys watched Batman Forever together and this song came on during credits. Life changing experience.

You had the DVD version with the music video bonus, that was being replayed for like twenty minutes

He has it on almost every playlist he has

He seems like the type of person to make a private, bad quality edit/music video of you two to it

Goosebumps ; Sorana

Dude this song perfectly reflected how he felt before you guys got together 🙏🙏

Plays this on stream when you're streaming with him for background noise.

Before you get together, he still plays it, just makes sure to not let you know that he feels that exact way about you.

Little inside joke between you two, it's kinda your song in a way

Editors love editing you guys to this song omg. They're always cute as hell too

TOMMYINNIT

FaceTime with my Mom (Tonight) ; Bo Burnham

You guys karaoke-d the shit out of this song on stream with Jack and Freddie.

It became a core memory for him. You were only friends at the time but it kinda made him realize that he wanted to be more than just your friend.

He actually FaceTimed his mom afterwards and she said hello to chat and everything

Little funny moment that he loves to think about

Someday (Remastered) ; Sugar Ray

He found this song on your older music playlist

He plays it a lot and thinks about you

Like daydreams that you're on a warm beach with all your friends and stuff

The song has like a warm, summery vibe to it so all summer he makes sure this comes up on your queue when streaming or in the car or whatever.

You guys probably dance around the living room to this song idk

TUBBO

Where The Lines Overlap ; Paramore

"No one is as lucky as us" REAL.

He cherishes you in his own special way yk?

He thinks he's so lucky to have you when you're surprised you could even pull someone, let alone him

Before you guys started dating, he saw an edit of you two to this song and he religiously watched it LMAO

You're both Paramore fans so this worked out perfectly.

Orange Show Speedway ; Lizzy McAlpine

the guitar sounds exactly how you feel to him if that makes sense

the happy nostalgia/dopamine rush kind of feel makes him all smiley and makes him think of you

he literally fell in love at a car speedway show that you two went to together for a little "first date" vlog so 🙏🙏🙏

it's just perfect idk man

RANBOO

Already Over ; Mike Shinoda

this song reminds me a lot of genloss so yk I had to include it here

but yeah, genloss vibes

reminds them a lot of yours and his genloss characters and their relationships and whatnot

when on set for s2 they listen to this on repeat bc your dynamic is so cool

although the viewers r desperately trying to kill you bc you're kind of at fault for genloss! rans trauma/predicament

they'll figure out that's not totally true tho

White Noise ; James Marriott

"I'd quite like to go home now" mother fucker you are his home :(

you're the "What's the point of having a friend when you're on your own in the end" outlook and they're the "I'll make an attempt knowing that I'll fuck it up" in a /pos outlook

you two go perfectly together

like two puzzle pieces, straight the fuck up

the cutest of dynamics

QUACKITY

Le Jardin ; La Femme

you guys watched Fresh together (10/10 btw)

this song came on halfway through and you soundsearched it and quickly dove into the la femme rabbit hole

he thought it was adorable cause you kind of understood the music but he understood completely

honestly got you into learning Spanish more

he literally only sees you listening to la femme to the point where he's a little concerned

you're just addicted to the paradigmes album you're fine

but he does play this on stream a lot just for you

editors go crazy after figuring out its always being played for you omg

Don't Want It ; Lil Nas X

holy shit this song goes hard

anyways yall always play this to get hyped up

he found an edit of you guys to this song and he thinks about it 24/7

literally the "people in my life should know I am not the old me" and the "wanted happiness, wanted forgiveness" duo

I can't explain it it's just vibes

[chinomiko]

hi! i know it must be kinga boring for you recive questions about castiel bc ppl are obsessed ober him for years but like the other person who asked you a few days ago, i follow you (and ply mcl) for like 10 years and ever since day one my fav boy has been tiel. till this day at the age of 22 he's my favorite and my comfort boy so i joke that he's not a fictional character anymore for me and that i know him personally at this point lol

with that being said, i bet you can imagine that over the years i've been elaborating his personality beyond what the game gives us but he's your boy, you created him therefore you know him and your word is canon, so i'd like to ask a few stuff!! nothing too big, dont worry but here we go.

tiel is an amazing songwriter and since he's very emotional not very good at express it (he does it a lot better now that he's an adult 🥹) i bet his lyricism is very deep and poetic so i have this headcanon that he at first wouldn't like taylor swift because obviously lol but then he payed attention to her lyrics and ends up basically being a swiftie since he likes her writing a lot. what you think about that?

and what kind of music crowstorm sings? like there are any bands that you listen and think "hey this would be in a crowstorm album!" (i have a playlist with this name btw lol). im probably wrong on this one but since this is my fav band i like to think that catfish and the bottlemen are the irl crowstorm, musically speaking

and the last one: another thing that gives me so much comfort is the lystiel friendship. not having present parents, being so closed off i know that lysander is such an important presence on tiel's life because he was basically the only close person he had (specially after the debrah fiasco); if lys didnt had taken the farm and went to college and bla bla bla do you think he would still be part of the band with castiel? im not sure if im mixing the canon with a fanfic i read a while ago (lol) but the band was more of a fun thing to lys, right? he liked writing most (i always imagined him getting into a literature degree or something like this). i also like to think that he helps tiel with lyrics at times, even if he's out of the band (in my head the canon is that they are best friends and pretty close till this day, i pretend lys never left our lives just like armin)

anyways sorry for this big ask 😭 i dont even know if you will read it all but if you do, thank you! and dont feel like you have to answer, i know its too much its just that mcl is my hyperfixation till this day like for real, i have a fanfic that i write still and i even plan on making it into a book sometime. except from the main characters (who is my oc) all the characters will be based on the game's ones :)

ilysm take care and stay hydrated!!

Hellow !

Aww thank you so much and for all your love for Castiel ^^

What a long ask, I'll try to answer in order.

Castiel being a swiftie. No sorry, I don't think he would be. If candy likes her, I'm pretty sure he would try to listen. Also he is an open minded person for sure, so I'm sure he would be curious to listen and study what all the hype is about, it could also help as some sort of far away inspiration, but I don't see him being a fan.

What kind of songs Crowstorm sings This is hard to answer because my musical knowledge is pretty limited and I'm sure I would miss on lot of potential groups or singers that would fit well. And it would require too much research time to have a real detailed and clear answer, but I still did check a bit and here is a little list of songs/groups that I think would have a fitting vibe for Crowstorm

City of the dead - Hollywood Undead The worst in me - bad omens Paranoid - I prevail Trauma Just pretend - Bad omens Ice Nine Kills - A grave mistake Catfish and the bottlemen sounds nice but I think its a bit too soft for what I imagine for Crowstorm.

What is his voice like I think something similar to this (not necessarily the song itself, just the voice. )

bonus, I think this song is so so fitting for Castiel's breakup song, I love it. Dial Tone - Catch your breath

Castiel and Lys friendship. It was'nt mentionned much in UL/LL because I didnt wish to bring too much drama by mentioning Lys when he was not there for the players, but of course Lys and Cast always kept in touch. It is very clearly mentionned in Lys' AL that they keep in touch, that Lys helps Castiel write songs and Cast also like to come to his farm to have a break and spend time together. You should play it if you havent, you'll have a good chunk of Cast and Lys friendship :) However yeah I can confirm that Lys would not like to do it serisouly and professionally, but he'll be all the way around to support and help Cast.

[letsmyy]

i have a request!!! you should write a daughter of apollo x leo valdez fic but based on espresso by sabrina carpenter (idk i feel like that song gives children of apollo vibes!) it'd be leo obsessed with the apollo girl (like him being absolutely obsessed with her, having the biggest crush on her possible, he constantly thinks about her, him being an absolute loser bf) and finally getting the courage to ask her out on a date or something like that.

“she’s like a shot of espresso…”

leo valdez x duaghter of apollo!reader

warnings: use of yn! english isn’t my first language so it might be some errors!!

thank you so much for your request, it made me so happy!! idk if what i wrote it’s exactly what you want but i hope you like it 🤕 this is my first timing writing a real fic and I think it really shows lol, but i promise I’ll try to improve in the next one, I’m so sorry if it’s that bad, and this is really short too? omg im really bad at this lol, but anyways, ly anon tell me your opinions (honestly) abt this later, kisses to uuu!! 🫶💗 (btw anon, please request other things I feel like I didn’t did you justice with this one)

words: 850

“is it that sweet? I guess so…..”

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ - ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Leo was sure he was going crazy.

He always had a pretty big amount of silly crushes on girls, but with you? It was getting way too serious. Of course, you're beautiful, incredibly kind, and too generous for your own good, and you treated him well, but that isn't enough reason to make him lose sleep; at least that's what he thought.

And he was extremely wrong. Being in your presence was the equivalent of being bathed in the sunlight, and gods, he felt like a prisoner who hadn't seen the sun in years.

He's completely obsessed with you; he just needs the courage to verbalize that, but being honest, Leo felt like a coward at the moment.

While being lost in his thoughts (the thoughts being the pretty daughter of Apollo that never leaves his mind), the boy finally falls asleep.

Leo doesn't mind waking up if that means spending the day with the people he loves, so after getting ready for the day, he searches for you.

And he found you, talking with a much younger camper, helping him. You're smiling like it's the best day of your life, and Leo could swear that you're almost glowing.

The boy makes its way to you the same moment you finish talking to the kid, now having your full attention on Hephaestus' son.

"Leo! Good morning!" Your voice to him had the same effect as listening to his favorite music, it made him happy in ways he couldn't explain, even if his life depended on it. 

"Yn! Good morning!" He mimics you, not in a bad way, just a teasing one. You roll your eyes in fake annoyance.

"Sooo, did you sleep well, Valdez?" You ask, seeming really interested in the answer, but he knows that you're like that for everything, being extremely kind.

"Not really, would be better if I dreamed about you," you laugh amusingly.

"You say that every day, y'know?"

"I know, I say because it's true. " You can't help but blush a little. You're used to Leo flirting with you, but it never gets past that, so you just learned to joke back.

"Hilarious, Valdez... fortunately, I slept very well today, and I'm more excited than normal! I think it's because it's so sunny today, that's awesome, was thinking about going to the lake later. I can't waste such a pretty day like this one painting inside my cabin..."

"Unfortunately, I'll be in the bunker today, I have lots of things to do."

"What? No! You're coming with me, you can't waste this wonderful day either!" You grab his hands, walking toward the lake.

Leo could swear he would pass out at that moment. He couldn't even think about denying your offer, he would prefer dying to doing that.

After a few seconds, you guys get to the lake.

"Look how pretty it is! You have to go swimming with me, it’s a need.”

"Look, sunshine, water and fire don't get along so well, so I might skip that one" he says, apologetic. You frown, thinking.

"We don't need to go swimming, we can just talk, i really don't care." You smile lovingly at him.

"I don't want to ruin your day! There are many people that can go with you, you'll find someone better to do that." He's so oblivious that it's getting concerning.

"I want to spend time with you, Valdez. I don't mind if it's swimming or just talking, I want to, you know..be with you."

"Oh." He's acting like a loser, he can't think straight anymore and is blushing like crazy, but who cares?

"Oh?" You tease him, smiling.

"Yeah, we can. Just talk, I'm happy with that. " His smile was so genuine that made your heart melt.

That's when you realize you're still holding his hand, and you don't want to change that. You can feel he notices too.

Something just snapped in his head, now it’s the time, now or never, right?

"Yn? Can I tell you something?" He says it in a quiet tone, and you just nod.

"When I'm around you, it's like constantly drinking a shot of espresso, it's like being bathed in sunlight, you're incredibly energetic and enthusiastic, and i just can't get enough of you, you're my sunrise and daylight....all I'm saying is, gods, I very much love you more than just friends" You're surprised, really surprised, so surprised that you can't even speak for a moment, which just makes Leo even more nervous.

"Please say something...like, anything, a no it's better than silence because it’s less-“ Before he yaps again, you interrupt him:

"I like you too." The boy almost squeals of pure excitement.

"Seriously? Oh gods, oh gods. What?" He's so happy, it's so sincere, so soft, it's amazing, you can feel your heart beating so fast, and you don't even care; seeing him like this because of you is the best feeling you ever felt.

Then you see that one look, meant just for you, it's like time has frozen, and you're both thinking the same thing. Then, like all the stars aligned, you kissed him

[squiiv]

don't forget to kiss me!

..or else you'll have to miss me!

—    pavitr prabhakar x gn!reader

*reader knows that pav is spiderman

somewhat based off of ‘glue song’ by the one and only beabadoobee!

!!NOT PROOFREAD!!

☆ …

𒁷 sfw! 

𒁷 cw// a ton of smooching, clinginess, cheesy, pav is a little cutie patootie i love him :(

♥ waking up first thing in the morning to see your boyfriend peacefully sleeping, wrapped in your arms, clinging on to you as if he’ll lose you if he even dares to let go.

♥ you attempt to sit up, only to be brought closer (you're not even sure how it was possible to be even closer than you already were) to your boyfriend..he just can't let you go!

♥ after 20 long minutes, you've decided you should definitely get out of bed now, the two of you had already laid like this together for a long while..he won't mind, right?

♥ you were wrong. when you told your lovely, charming..boyfriend..that you needed to get up, this news only upset him.

“pav…. i really need to get up now.” you sighed, still holding on tightly to his figure. his eyes were still half closed, his long eyelashes batting against his face once he blinked to look up at your face, only to be met with a frown. once the words fully registered in his head, he pouts, “but..you promised you would stay in with me today..you wouldn't want to disappoint the spiderman, would you..?” 

you laugh softly at his words, you really didn't want to leave him, but some unexpected business came up. you began running your fingers through his hair, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “i know, i know. i don't want to leave you..but i'll be back so, so soon. you won't even notice i'm gone.” he pulls you in even closer, burying his head back into your chest. “can't you just do it later..? you're so warm..i could sleep here forever if it meant i would get to stay in your arms.” 

“...really?” you sigh, not denying the words he said did sound nice. you wish you could stay here forever with him, separated from the hectic lives you both lived. “i'm serious..! if i could stay here with you forever, i would be the happiest man alive..” you blush at his words, he always makes being forward seem so..easy. “i…i'm sorry, my love. i wish i could stay, i really do.” 

“..it's fine. i'll let you leave, if you promise me something..!” you're met with a disappointed look on pav’s face, and it only makes you feel even worse for leaving him like this. “oh, don't be sad..please. i promise, i'll do anything you wish, okay?” 

you start pressing soft kisses all over his face, starting with his forehead, down to his cheeks, and finally placing one on his lips. you continue peppering his face with soft, love-filled kisses, as you cup his cheeks with your hands. once you pull away, you finally see the blush covering his full face.

“my love, my darling..there isn't a single moment of us being apart from each other where i don't think about you and when i'll see you again..you brighten up my world, you lighten my every day.” he seems taken aback at your words, eyes widening ever so slightly. he then smiles, cupping your cheek in his hand while pressing a soft, gentle kiss to your lips as well.

“i love you so, so much my dear…i'm so glad i get to start and end every single day with you in my arms..i couldn't be happier.” he smiles, genuine love in his gaze as he makes eye contact with you. “now…promise me that tomorrow, we can stay here together all day in each other's arms..please?” he pleads, earning a soft grin from you.

“of course. nothing would make me happier than to spend my day wrapped up like this with you. i promise, when i get home later i’ll be back with presents in hand for you, alright?” you chuckle, pressing one last kiss to his forehead.

“i'll be waiting for you here…my love.”

this was my first fic btw, so i hope it's somewhat decent..😭 idk if i'll start posting on here or not! this was just a little test and i've been thinking about pav non stop lol ^_^ please remember he is a MINOR so i will not be posting anything nsfw. if i do end up posting on here my works will mostly be sfw!! i hope u enjoyed :)

P.S: ik in the description i said it was based off of glue song but it kinda isn't. i started writing this with the idea of that but i ended up forgetting about it.

[tsuunara]

   " lets crash course learn twice choreography ! "

SPECIAL GUESTS : chuuya nakahara , osamu dazai , atsushi nakajima !

 ABOUT ORDER : forcing teaching bsd men twice choreography! how into it are they? do they hate it or enjoy it ?

 CONTENTS :  might be ooc !! , profanity in chuuya's part , dazai shenanigans , kunikida appears in dazai's part !! , poor atsushi is struggling to keep up :( , kyouka appears in atsushi's part !! .

 SERVER'S NOTES : stan twice!!! this was a warm up to prepare for my soon chuuya angst fic... sorry for the wait :( btw here is the playlist of all the songs for each character! i'll make a pt 2 with nikolai and fyodor . :) this was super fun to write lol

   chuuya nakahara ! The Feels

chuuya has seen you practice the choreography a couple of times . he doesn't really mind when the music blasts and just lets it slide because he loves you so much ! chuuya doesn't know much about kpop but he's heard a couple in your playlists , and hears you play the same ones over and over again ... not like he doesn't mind though . despite it not being his actual music taste, he secretly enjoys listening to it sometimes and it's his guilty pleasure . when he sees you dancing all silly , he can't help but smile in awe . he thinks it's so funny and cute seeing you put your all into it !!

" YOU HAVE STOLEN MY HEART OH YEAHH NEVER GONNA LET IT GO OH OH NO NEVER IT LET IT GO OH OH OH- "

" well uh shit... am i interrupting something here ? "

" lightning straight to my heart oh yeaAAAH WHAT THE FUCK CHUUYA- "

oh, but when you encourage him to dance with you ? who is he to say no with that stupid smile of yours ? no matter how silly it is , he WILL do it .

" ...so uh- "

" ...crash course twice choreography . "

" ...what ? "

" you know what , chuu ? you're in perfect timing . you should really join me !! come on , i'll teach you twice choreography ! "

" huh ?? woah woAH WOAH- WAIT HOLD ON NOW- "

although he is a bit hesitant , he always gives in . and with no regrets after whatsoever !!! he's a very quick learner too with lots of flexibility !

" one , two , three , four , five , six , seven , eight ! one , two , three and four , five and six and seven , eight ! good ! just make sure to bend your knees a bit more... and then... stretch them ! "

" uhuh, okay... like this ? my god- this dance is kinda hard... how'd ya even manage this ? "

" not to worry , chuu ! just like that !! YOU DID IT !! "

"holy fucking shit . I DID IT . "

overall , 9/10 is super into it . always exaggerates his moves but at least it shows he's having fun !! bonus points for being a new little distraction he can do at work ! has definitely had a couple of his colleagues walk in on him . whoopsies !

" you have stolen my heart oh yeah... never let it go oh oh no , never gonna let it go , oh , oh , oh... "

" uh... sir ? the... documents... "

" lightning straight to my heart oh yeaa- GOD WHAT THE FUCK ?! oh . it's you . the documents ? yeah yeah , uh... go put them... over there . "

" ......sir- "

" no . if it's about that , then i don't want to hear it . "

   osamu dazai ! FANCY

dazai's favorite pastime ? learning twice choreography . and what better ? with you !! he's had his ass dragged into your little dance classes sooo many times... (not like he's complaining though !) he knows somewhat about kpop , he likes listening to it with you (and for shits and giggles . ) also loves to see you dance to the songs yourself !! always tries to copy you so much so he ends up distracting you because it's funny , causing you to mess up the entire choreography :( when he hears the music play , that's when he knows it's time to crash course learn twice choreography !

" ...'samu ! "

" yes lovely ? "

" do you know what time it is ? "

" hmm..... four-thirty . "

" stupid , not the actual time ! c'moooonnnn you knowww thissss... "

" well color me clueless . "

" 'samu.... "

" i'm kidding! hmm... oh , don't tell... it's that time , isn't it ?! "

" you're so right... IT'S TIME TO CRASH COURSE LEARN TWICE CHOREOGRAPHY ! "

a little slower learning the choreography (because mf can't take it seriously sometimes) , but once he gets the hang of it you bet fucker WILL be hitting those moves whenever has the chance .

" it seems another job well done to us for solving the mystery , bella ! oh , OH , OHH !! i feel a song coming ... LET'S HIT IT , [name] !!! ohhh yes GET IT !! "

of course being dazai, you can't have a dance lesson with a little chaos in between ! but that's what makes it even more fun !

" one, two, three and four... no 'samu, that's not how do it ! "

" hehehe. fancyyyy youuu ooh-ooh-ooh- "

" DAZAI THE TABLE-?! "

" ouchieeee.... !!! bellaaaa~ help me out hereeeee... my hips huuurrrrrt !!!! "

" oh my god... "

overrall , 9/10 very chaotic but totally fun experience ! he enjoys it far too much for his own liking . he does a few freestyle moves of his own to " jazz up " the dance takes your dance lessons to HEART . period . kunikida always scolds him at work :P

" OI DAZAI . this isn't some dance class . get back to work !! "

" whaaaat ? sorry kunikida~ i can't hear you right now over the music !! my dearest [name] just taught me how to dance ! and i feel so POWERFUL !! OHH , keep quiet now !! THIS IS MY FAVORITE PART !! "

" DAZAI- "

   atsushi nakajima ! TT

atsushi is a very interesting case when it comes to learning choreography... he tries his best though ! i feel like atsushi is very open to different kinds of music , so kpop is no different to him and enjoys listening to it ! super fascinated by how you managed to learn the dances . always slides in compliments after you finish with a little clap !! atsushi NEVER thinks about learning the choreography himself . he just likes listening to the music . but who is he to say no to you ?

" atsu !! "

" [name] !! what's the matter ? did something happen ? "

" atsushi . you know the one thing that you're missing right now ? it's that you NEED to crash course learn twice choreography with me . there's no backing out now !! "

" wha- ??? wait- HUH ???? "

poor boy is unfortunately a slow learner when it comes to dancing... but he's trying !!! his moves are a bit stiff , but just a little more practice and instructing will do !!!

" it's easy ! one , two , three , four , five , six , seven, eight ! can you try that for me ? "

" umm... one... two... three... four and five and six and seven eight... ?! did i do it ? "

" close !! there's room for improvement , though ! you're doing great though ! for your first time and the easiest twice choreography to learn ! "

" EASIEST ?!? aaahhhh... this is so hard , [name] ..... can we take a break ? "

practices whenever he can . you've seen and walked in on him practicing in front of the mirror and he's always gets soo embarrassed , but slowly he's starting to get the hang of it and you're so proud of him !!!

" one , two , three , four , five , six , seven , eight... "

" well , someone's been doing their homework ! "

" [name] ?! WHERE DID YOU COME FROM- "

overrall , 7/10 . he's proud to know he's finally learned how to perform twice choreography ! (even if the process was literal hell) obviously still struggles sometimes , but very silly and cute when he does it ! kyouka has walked in on him a few times... but she doesn't seem to mind !

" one , two , three , four...- "

" ...why are you dancing ? "

" YEAOW- oh... it's just you , kyouka... practicing this dance [name] taught me ! ah , where was i again...? one , two , three , four , five , six , seven , eight... "

" i didn't know they could dance . maybe i'll ask them about it later... "

   reblogs appreciated ! ♡

[atthebell]

do you have any recommendations/resources to learn spanish?? i've been using busuu for about 104 days now, imo opinion it's actually pretty fun and i like it but i think my main problem with it is that it goes too fast?? it's hard to explain. it's also started to feel kinda repetitive to me. i still love busuu and i'm going to continue with my course, but it'd be nice to also have something else. like, preferably not an app, maybe a textbook or a website or something :D i don't really WHERE to find resources for language learning, despite being bilingual, i never really had to look on the internet to learn the languages i speak now, i picked it up from the people around me you know?

i've also been ''using'' duolingo but tbh, i really hate it. it feels boring to me, everyday it's ''ok what sentence am i going to be forced to write for the 40th time today?'' the single 'square' has 5 lessons and a 'unit' has around 10-8 of those squares and to finish a 'unit' you have to do about 50-45 of those lessons, which is shit because a 'unit' is only going to teach about 3 sentence structures and if you're lucky maybe 5. it's so shit, those greedy fuckers basically made it unusable. i've been using for about 140 days now, every single day i take at least one lesson, and it STILL has not taught me a SINGLE spanish tense. btw, i even had an entire phase where i would finish UNITS in about an hour and a half (1 min or less for every lesson) and still not a single ''pretérito Indefinido'' actual pain 🫠🫠 one day ll delete that app, one day (i guess that's why i like busuu in the first place, it actually teaches you these tenses and even some slang while duolingo makes you write ''papá, quiero visitar a nuestra abuela'' for the 700th time this week)

i want to watch vods and stuff, but tbh, i feel way too embarrassed? like, i don't know enough spanish to really understand them and even when they say basic sentences that i understand, i still have to listen to it multiple times and slow down the clip for me to really get it. the thing with spanish is that i'll understand the meaning of the words being said but i need to take a second or so to really comprehend what they mean together you know? i don't want to have to watch the stream slowed down because that would definitely make me feel stupid 😭 maybe when i have better spanish i'll start watching vods. although i do listen to spanish songs sometimes, it's fun :D

first thing: you don't have to feel embarrassed about needing time to process things/needing to listen to things slowed down. language learning is difficult and there are a lot of obstacles for many people; this is something i do understand and want to stress that i get that it's hard. you are not a bad person or an idiot or whatever for having a hard time understanding things-- you are still learning, and besides that, sometimes hearing things isn't someone's strong suit (it absolutely did not use to be mine, but i've practiced a lot and gotten much better at it. i'm still much much better at reading text in other languages, but it is something you can always improve on). if you need to take extra time to watch things, that is not a personal fault of yours nor does it make you stupid. everyone has different skill sets, and you can always practice to get better.

second thing: my own criticisms of both busuu and duolingo, along with their strengths. duolingo first, because i've used it since like. idk like 2016? not consistently but i've used it far more over the years and i'm very familiar with various changes they've made and the esp, ptbr, and french courses. busuu ive only been using for a few months

to get it out of the way, the recent change to laying off translators and using more AI in lessons. this sucks, obviously, for a myriad of reasons. machine translation cannot match with human translation, and frankly never will be able to. there are vast amounts of nuance and cultural context necessary for translation, along with the fact that an AI led course does not actually hit on all the things someone needs, particularly on a basics/foundational level. and from an ethical standpoint, laying off a ton of human translators because you think you can replace them with inaccurate machine translation sucks and is why so many people have dropped duolingo, myself included.

duolingo also has limitations in terms of format-- it gamifies language learning, which can make it feel more accessible to people and makes people want to open it and practice every day. however, most people use duolingo to do one lesson once a day and that's it. they're not getting in practice from lessons previously completed, they're not drilling vocab or conjugations, they're not actually maintaining or even remembering what they've already learned. obviously there are people (like myself, when i still used the app) who practice far more than that and continue to drill previous lessons, but that's not the majority, and it's not incentivized by the app. the paywalling of completing certain lessons and being able to drill error words also sucks for this reason. basically duolingo is not an ideal setup for actually maintaining knowledge once you go through it the first time and also the way the courses are laid out just. does not, imo, actually make sense. they rarely actually explain what they're trying to teach you and they don't get into enough detail on most concepts. and there is no incentive to review, which is hugely important. not an ideal situation for language learning, especially on its own.

my pros for duolingo: it gets you to practice daily. this is honestly what i use busuu for at this point-- when i get a notif for it, i open it up and flick through a lesson, but i also pull out a textbook or two to look at things there and practice stuff. if whipping out duolingo every day helps you practice a language, that is, at bare minimum, something. preferably you should be studying for at least 15min if not up to an hour or more of a language a day in order to really pick things up and maintain them; you can absolutely use duolingo or busuu for that (busuu i think is far less well formatted and oftentimes the lessons are very specific vocab, at least in the later courses).

for busuu, my issues are like. it's a poorly made imitation of duolingo, aside from a few things. the community aspect is something i REALLY like-- being able to send an exercise to a native speaker and get feedback on what to work on is great, especially with how it's a short answer question that lets you form your own sentences and try out vocab in context. that's a wonderful feature, and i really think it gets at something duolingo is completely missing.

but yeah like i said in terms of the lessons, busuu has very strange ways of teaching things. firstly, it's usually super specific topics and vocab that aren't paired with anything conceptually that helps you progress. usually in a language course, it's best to pair a concept you're working on with either relevant vocab or something that can be used to talk about similar subjects/in similar ways (for instance, subjunctive with food/restaurant vocab, so that you can build sentences both with the new vocab and using the new verbal form in ways that make sense, i.e. "I'll have whatever she's having, If I were to order the pasta, I would get a salad too," "If I were richer, I would always order filet mignon" (side note subjunctive is very difficult for eng speakers so idk if these examples actually make sense 😭))

also busuu will repeatedly teach me something phrased one way or with a certain word and then mark me wrong and insist i use a completely different word/phrase. i cannot figure out why it keeps doing this it's very frustrating. and it has recently been teaching me some european portuguese which is not what the course is supposed to be so i'm just baffled by what's going on there.

another positive for busuu, at least in contrast to duolingo, is it teaches you the vocab and phrases before quizzing you on them, which duolingo does not do. this is like a positive and also an "eh, idk" because i get why duolingo does that-- it's trying to throw you into using surrounding context to figure out what a word means, and that's a very good way to practice, but i think it doesn't necessarily achieve it well and sometimes will just spring random words on you without enough context for you to know what it's referring to without just clicking on the word anyway.

also neither app are good at teaching you verb conjugation or tenses which is really unfortunate for spanish and portuguese in particular, as they're both languages where verbs are really really key AND where understanding tenses and their names are important, particularly for native eng speakers who never got taught tense names or like. any terminology for languages in english 🙃

also here is a thing i wrote up complaining about duolingo & verbs ages ago: Duolingo does not teach you things explicitly. It expects you to pick them up in a semi-immersive style, which works okay most of the time for most people but for many people makes actually learning and understanding parts of a language very difficult. For instance, it won't teach you the exact difference in usage between ser and estar, in Spanish or Portuguese. This difference is something I spent weeks on in Spanish class in high school and continued to review the rest of my time learning Spanish in an academic setting-- it is a key element of two of the most important words in the language. Duolingo also doesn't explain stem changes or irregular verbs and their typical endings-- it simply expects you to pick these up and memorize them through sentence usage. Basically it's very obvious Duolingo was created by english speakers who were never taught key elements of their own language (this is not a dig on their personal fault; i was also never taught any of this shit about english) and don't know how to go about teaching a language, and the limited format doesn't help.

third thing, finally getting to what you actually asked: there are a lot of resources for learning spanish online! i'm not as familiar with them as i'd like, as i learned spanish in an academic setting, but i'll do my best to list some things out and anyone else can feel free to add on. i've been meaning to make a language learning advice post for literally ages and i guess this is going to become it lmao.

here is a video explaining how to make duolingo work for you along with other resources: A Linguist explains how to make duolingo actually work (tl;dr pair duolingo with conversation partners, textbook work, listening to music, watching movies, etc. etc.)

i've tagged this with my language learning tag, which has a bunch of resources including some specifically for learning spanish.

tumblr user salvador bonaparte has a drive of free textbooks you can check out here, including a ton of spanish resources. i also recommend looking around the internet/specifically linguistics tumblr to find more resources as well as looking at used bookstores/amazon/etc. for spanish textbooks to use, as that will provide a more thorough foundation along with other programs/types of learning.

i've never used babbel or any other online program like it, but spanish tends to be one of the more resource-heavy languages because it's so widely spoken, so typically spanish programs on various apps/sites are REALLY thorough (duolingo's spanish program is by far their best course, with a ton more resources than most other programs. you can go up to the equivalent of at least c2 on there i believe, versus many other languages where they don't even list the CEFR levels)

finally, the not-so-online answer: if you're in college/have a nearby community/junior college, consider taking spanish classes there! this option probably costs the most out of any others, but i genuinely think an academic setting is the a great way to learn a language for many people. if you're not one of them, that is totally fine, but an actual spanish course at a college is likely to be the most thorough way to learn the language. also many CCs/JCs offer spanish classes online, so if you can't drive or for whatever reason can't go to in-person courses, you'll likely still have options.

this is everything i can think of right now but i also want to add once again that learning a language is difficult!!! i know that, and i know that i complain a lot about monolinguals, but i am specifically complaining about people who refuse to engage respectfully with languages that are not their own and dismiss anything they don't understand as being stupid/not worth their time/culturally worthless. i am not complaining about people like you, who are trying really hard to engage with non-english content AND are trying really hard to learn another language.

i also think learning languages is one of the most incredible experiences there are and that expanding the kinds of cultural and social boundaries that you engage with is a really important facet of humanity that i wish more people would participate in. i get riled up because this is something i'm really truly passionate about, not because i think anyone is stupid or whatever for not learning. i want people to just try it and give it a chance, even if it's hard for them, and i'm glad that you are trying, anon. <333

[lust4lifemelanie]

𝑫𝒐𝒏’𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒆𝒆 𝒎𝒆? pt 1

| Matty Healy x reader

Summary: Friends to lovers, reader is kinda blind, playful flirting, slow burn, lightly based off fallingforyou. Btw this is really short but trust the process 🙏🏻

A/N: We are soo back, i’m actually so sorry for being so unactive i’ve had so much writers block. I hope y’all enjoy this one though.

Your clock read 9:30 p.m., as you were finishing last-minute homework you heard a knock on your window, making you jump slightly. You open your window and scoff when you see your best friend's face smiling like a dork.

“Really, was that really necessary?" You roll your eyes. “Yes, now can I come in? It's cold as fuck out here.” Matty practically whines, which you couldn't help but smirk at.

"Fine, but be quiet.” You open the window wider so he can crawl through. "I'm always quiet.” He scoffs as he climbs through the window.

“Since when? You never know when to shut your gob.” You tease him as you watch him climb through your window.

“Um? Yes, I do. I just prefer not to.” He stands up. “Whatever, why are you here? I thought your band had practice or something?” You look at him, slightly confused, as you sit down on your bed.

“We finished early; Hann’s mum wanted him home, fuckin pussy,” he says as he sits next to you on your bed. "Plus, I wanted to see you, I feel like we haven’t hung out in forever,” he adds on.

“So you crawled through my window at night because you missed me? Aw, Matty, have you gone soft?” You tease and pinch his cheek.

He playfully slaps your hand away and rolls his eyes. "I'm starting to regret coming here.” You smile softly. You’ve known Matty since primary school, but after he met that group of guys and started that band, you two kind of drifted away from each other. 

“Anyway, how was band practice?” As you gently look into his soft brown eyes, a crooked smile forms on his face. “It was good; we're working on a new song at the moment, so it's been a little more difficult than usual.” He scoots a little closer to you. 

“You should come to practice sometime; it's actually quite funny watching George get mad when he messes up.” He adds on, the smile remaining on his face. 

“I mean, I’d love to, but I don't want to be a bother or something.” After the sentence leaves your mouth, Matty instantly shakes his head.

“You wouldn't be a bother; Hann’s girlfriend always comes to the practices." You sigh because you know he isn't going to shut up until he gets what he wants.

“Fine Matthew, I'll go since you're so desperate to get me there.” Your sarcasm makes him roll his eyes again.

“Please, you practically jumped at the chance."  

For the next hour, you and Matty talked. Your favorite thing about hanging out with Matty was that you didn't feel uncomfortable with him. You could talk to him about anything; guys around your age were gross and annoying, but Matty wasn't; he was sweet and actually funny.

As your mid-conversation matty's eyes wander to the clock on your nightstand, his eyes go wide. "Shit, I missed curfew. My mums going to be pissed. I got to go, but I'll see you later, Bye Y/N”

You smile softly. “Bye Matty, I’ll pray that Denise doesn't kill you." He flips you off before climbing out of your window, getting on his bike, and riding away.

 The next week, Matty got his way, you were sitting on the floor of his basement with your back against the wall, watching and listening to his band rehearse.

 Something about Matty's voice singing was oddly comforting for you. He had a way with his words; you weren't the biggest fan of rock or indie, but for him, you’d be the first one at the barricade.

After the rehersal, Matty sat down next to you and asked, “So what’d you think?” He smiles softly, looking at you with his pretty brown eyes.

“I surprising liked it.” You smiled back, he couldn't help but scoff, “Suprisingly? that sounds backhanded."

“Shut up. I didn't have to give you a good rating. Be grateful that I'm nice.” You say in a teasing tone, he raises an eyebrow after hearing your sentence.

“Nice? Bitch, please; you are so far from nice.” You roll your eyes. "I'm spending my Saturday here watching your band play; I think that's pretty nice if you ask me, Matthew."

 “Actually Y/N, I'm saving you from a boring Saturday of doing homework or going out with whatever douche bag you're dating at the moment.” His cocky attitude was so annoying sometimes.

“Is this slag off Y/N hour?” You ask sarcastically. He smirks, "I'm just taking the piss, darling.” He puts his arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer to his side.

There was a little bit of silence. Matty’s friends were upstairs, getting drinks. It was just the two of you. “I missed this, Y/N.” Matty breaks the silence and looks at you.“Hm? Oh yeah, same.” You smiled softly, and he smiled back.

 The boys came back down with water bottles, tossing two to Matty and me. The boys sat on the couch in the basement and were going on about the songs, cracking a few jokes here and there.

You never really hung out with Matty’s band friends; as much as you loved Matty, you’d much rather hang out with your girlfriends than with a group of guys. "Matty how come you’ve been hiding Y/N from us?” George asks and playfully nudges Matty’s shoulder. You smirk and join in. "Yeah, Matty, how come?” Matty scoffs at the both of you.

“I haven't been hiding her from anyone; blame her; she's the one who hates meeting new people.” He says defensively, and you roll your eyes.  "Well, I didn't know that your friends were funnier than you.” You say it jokingly, causing the others to laugh.

 A dramatic fake pout forms on Matty's face. "Well, now I know the taste of betrayal." He puts a hand to his heart like the drama queen he is.

 The day went on in Matty's basement, and you got along well with the group. The sun started to set, and you thought it would be best to start heading home before it was fully nighttime.

 You told everyone goodbye and made your way back upstairs out of Matty's basement. You were almost out the door when you were stopped.

 "Wait, Y/N,” you said, turning around to see George. “Yeah?” You look at him slightly confused.

 "I'm having a party Saturday, and I thought maybe you’d want to go?” He flashes a flirty smile.

 You smile back and say, "Yeah, sure, I’d love to." George's smile widens when you agree.

 “Cool, I'll have Matt give you the details. Oh, and you can bring a friend if you want."

"Thanks; Ill see you until then.”

[shinybulbasaur]

The People I'd Like To Get To Know Better Tag Game

Starting a new thread because the old one was getting really long... I was tagged by @michinaranja and @waxscissors, thank you for tagging me! (I've also been tagged by other people for other games I know but it's been so long and I can't find them now... but know I am thanking you too <3)

Last Song/Album: renegade by styx! although I always feel like I'm "cheating" with these questions because I mostly listen to the radio and I forget what the last song was, so I have to wait until I can turn the radio on again...

Favorite color: maroon!!! I love how warm and rich dark reds are

Sweet, spicy or savory: savory! I can't really handle too much spice (plus it dulls the other flavors imo) and I'm really not big on sweets at all. never had much of a sweet tooth haha

Last TV show: it is with a heavy sigh I must admit that I am once again rewatching leverage.... i'm stressed okay! it's a comfort show! everyone go watch leverage

Last film: uh. good question... probably the high school musical trilogy back during new years, I think. I don't watch movies often

Last thing I looked up online: ....... "amino acid q" (don't tell the department professors I keep forgetting my amino acid codes, they'll fail my phd defense for sure lskdjfsljf) (it's glutamine, btw)

Relationship status: single, thank god

Current obsession: it's been almost a full year of trigun obsession at this point, I think I'm just forever stuck with them now. I say it with love but ohmygod I'll never be free, will I sdljfls

Tagging @acidmatze, @coolcatlover4, and @suddenrundown because I'm pretty sure you guys tagged me in other games that have been lost to the ages 😭 but anyone who wants to, consider yourself tagged!

[yuukei-yikes]

Long as hell text post under the cut my guys

me when i wake up and talk every day about the same shit. heart <3 i could talk for days abt jin and the misogyny he writes with. it's everywhere of course lol but out of the female characters takane's like…. the most tragic, in my opinion, because she's the only female character to have absolutely 0 backstory. yes, there's Some stuff, such as her illness, but truly takane does not have that much angst surrounding her illness. everything about her is rather about haruka. takane's moment is yuukei yesterday, but yuukei yesterday is entirely about both haruka and takane and their relationship. yes it's takane's pov, but it's ultimately still about… haruka, and how she feels about him.

back then in the fandom, pre over the dimension specifically, there was a take going around i remember pretty well. "people write haruka and takane like there's nothing more to them than being in love with each other" like the only time we'd see haruka and takane specifically (in fan content), they'd just be there to be shippy. i TOTALLY agreed with this sentiment and i always have, especially because i've always been obsessed with them as characters and i was overanalyzing every little thing (when otd came out i was over the moon bc i got so much stuff right btw. if u even care)

HOWEVER. if u think about it. pre over the dimension, with the manga having covered yuukei yesterday already and the next time takane (and haruka) appear as themselves in the manga is A LOT later in volume 10 (by that time, otd was already out) (also i'll get to takane in 2nd manga route in a second), so what we had at the time, for haruka and takane's backstory, was manga&novel yuukei yesterday and what we got from the anime. if you consider this… truly, at first the only thing to go off really was. just their relationship. that was all there was to both of them, because haruka was described from takane's pov, and everything we got from takane was how she felt for haruka. that was IT. for everything else u had to read between the lines like i was doing bc 10 years later i'd still be here talking about it teehee

of course there are also the songs. takane's songs set in time before she's ene are yuukei yesterday and of course headphone actor, one of the Best kagepro songs dont even come AT ME anyways headphone actor as a song touches THE OTHER BIG THING we were offered about takane at the time. okay, she isn't JUST in love with haruka. the other thing about takane is… she wants to SURVIVE!!!

i've talked about this LOADS of times i know (about this entire thing actually but i just like talking about also it's my blog) takane gets opening eyes because she's so determined to live. ratio + this from novel 2 headphone actor

which brings me to. ugh. second manga route. takane….would not…. KILL HERSELF…. second manga route WHY. we finally get to see Takane again in the manga and she's just so spectacularly NOT HERSELF it's crazy. takane since her INTRODUCTION is presented as "selfish" and how her want for attention from haruka or in general gets the best of her. that's ene. THAT'S ene!!! that's also why ENE stays with shintaro!!! it is FUNDAMENTAL to her character. we were given miserably little about her and in the most simplified way to put it, those things are: takane 1. is an attention whore<3 2. doesn't want to die. so tell me. how do you manage to get these 2 very simple things so incredibly WRONG in second manga route.

where in the world would takane get mad haruka got another friend. it makes NO sense!?!? bro haruka and shintaro ARE ALSO BEST FRIENDS IN THE MAIN ROUTE, where takane ACTUALLY HAS REASONS TO ACTIVELY REALLY DISLIKE SHINTARO, and she doesn't give a fuck that they're friends, why would she randomly care so much now when she has no reason to even dislike shintaro? so basically because she doesn't have ayano she gets jealous and wants haruka all to herself?? erm ok?? let's say that's true (it's not), even if she was jealous of shintaro her desire to be by haruka's side WILL be stronger, she would NEVER just turn around and leave. absolutely NOT. one of the stupidest things takane does is want haruka to look her way so bad she doesn't realize HE'S DYING ON HER. this bitch is so insanely self centered she would never in her life walk out on haruka just for having another friend. REAL takane walks in there with that stupid basket and be like Everyone look at me NOW<3

ok. first trait: attention whore: second manga route FAILS. second trait: doesn't want to die. wonder what second manga route will do. (looks into the camera) takane kills herself in second manga route.

dude you're crazy. you literally get EVERYTHING WRONG. it pisses me off. and not only does she kill herself but she does it because haruka DIED!?!?!?!?!? OH MY GOD. i hate it it's so fucking fake it's not HER THAT'S NOT TAKANE ENOMOTO THAT'S A SHIT CHARACTER JIN AND MAHIRO SATO DECIDED TO SUDDENLY WRITE INTO THE STORY i already put it in this post but let me attach it again

dear lord. anyways i've talked about that loads of times but i needed to include it in this talk cuz. yeah. i dont even HATE the rest of second manga route i just hate how takane is written specifically but since she's everything 2 me erm. you get my thumbs down!!! anyways having acknowledged second manga route we can move on.

back to main route discussion. so takane's backstory. not super deep, especially compared to other characters. yes her backstory is basically that she's sad because her boyfriend dies. but as ene there's so much more to unpack, right?! a character who will 100% accept a HALF DEATH because she's so determined not to die, but she's also mentioned to be tirelessly looking for her body because despite everything she's got HOPE? that's SUPER interesting, i love her!! what will she- *is obsessed with shintaro* ene's obsession with shintaro again ties in with everything else, desperate for attention, finds kinship with shintaro because she (or rather, ayano) decided he's compatible with her, but most importantly, he's doing badly and she wants to help him. takane isn't a person anymore, she's alive only as a technicality, so… she spends time with shintaro! but we ignore, it's TWO YEARS. and only in one of those she is with shintaro. we tend to overlook she spends the WHOLE TIME looking for her body in that other year. of course ene talks a lot about how much she loves her power, how much she loves being ene and not having to take care of her sick body but it's a REALITY that she wants to get it back. if she really didn't want it, why would she look for it and later get back into it when she does find it? but that's in between the lines. ene's obsession with shintaro is super interesting and you KNOW i love everything we know about takane be it her obsession with shintaro or her crush on haruka. i just wish there was....more.... like everyone else gets more! like HARUKA, a damn side character, gets more!!

haruka gets so SO much, he even bonds with SETO!! he gets a really well developed friendship with shintaro, he gets a very long detailed introduction scene with ayano with funny younger mekatrio shenanigans, he gets yuukei quartet hangout moments, he gets a GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH KENJIROU (fundamental imo as he's very important both in general and haruka and takane's social circle back then) and not just all that, but super thoughtfully written feelings about his illness, views on life, wishes... and all takane's story gets is…. she's sick, but it's ok it's not deadly, HARUKA HOWEVER…. oh, HE'S the real delicate one….especially since she's in love with him ofcourse!! dont forget!! btw she's grumpy cuz of her illness. she wishes she just didn't need sleep. aaanywaaays did we mention it's not as important as haruka's illness and btw she's in love with him?

unlike haruka, takane gets no relationship with ayano, and all their interactions are talking about how in LOVE they are with haruka and shintaro. no relationship with kenjirou beyond comic relief of ugh useless ass teacher, even revealed later on she stays in the dark about kenjirou forcing them to participate in the festival ON PURPOSE and playing her like that so she would be determined and make haruka join. her dynamic to shintaro pre being ene is just pitiful, and if it wasn't for his behavior towards her shintaro would be…. erm normal?? yea he's cold to ayano but that vs the way he randomly treats takane without even knowing her. god. imagine kagepro where shintaro DIDN'T do that. he'd still be flawed and stuff like what was the need😭 like HUUHH. takane gets nothing!!!!! and if we're still on the shintaro subject, why she's the asshole for being a menace as ene? whatever. i support women's wrongs. bully him harder.

alright. later she's ene, bonds with the dan. wait!! look!! it's KANO!!! she has so much in common with him, to the point he chooses her to open up to and helps her get her body back!!! this is a GREAT character choice to pair her with and to develop a dynamic with!! uh. oh wait….. kano's just totally awful to her and then later leaves her to get her body back offscreen and on her own? (looks into the camera again)

to continue comparing haruka and takane. takane mentions grandma makes her lunch, grandpa is dead, and they're both SUPER worried about her illness. there's…. nothing about their personalities or their relationship to her. meanwhile, haruka mentions everything! he's all like my illness… when it killed my mother it was exactly when the doctors said it would. my dad is cold and a little strange and doesnt spend time at home. we have a live in helper who does chores. like that's already so much deeper!

u find out through another mention later on that takane's parents work overseas but you dont know ANYTHING else despite it being so specific. while haruka goes on about his relationship with his dad or rather lack of relationship, and there's even some stranger at home doing chores for him. and again HE GETS TO HAVE A CLOSE RELATIONSHIP WITH KENJIROU, heavily written as a father/son dynamic. man.

anyways…. this is kinda all over the place and it's something i talk about very often but teehee. wanted to do it again. i was thinking about it again because i realized i don't tend to draw haruka in a context outside being takane's boytoy. which i don't particularly care about because i know that's not all i see him as and i do see him as a deep character of his own and i like analyzing him just as much… it's just in art specifically he's just always there to be in love with her and nothing else. and i was like damn does that suck of me?? but you know what. i dont care<3 thanks for coming to my ted talk.

[kairiscorner]

since the barbie movie brainrot is getting to me, have some

ben reilly x reader headcanons (when you go to watch the barbie movie)

btw spoilers for the barbie movie under the cut !!

when you came up to him, asking him if he'd like to watch the barbie movie with you, he'd perk up a little from his 'moping pillar' and think about it, but he'd go back to facing it while telling you, "i got no time to watch some silly dolls movie, babe... i have real things to do and think about, not watch a bunch of dolls come to life."

you'd nod sarcastically and tease him about wanting to see it for ryan gosling because "blonde himbo men are your type", you'd say while side eyeing him with a sly smile as he perks up at those first three words.

"o-on second thought... i'm your blond himbo men. i'll go, but not because you asked me to."

he'd grumble a little and ask what's so good about the barbie movie, and you'd argue, "because it's barbie!" and he'd groan as he stomps his feet and trudges behind you, grumbling, "oh please, you just wanna see it for ryan gosling, i'm already right here for you, babe."

as you two are watching the first few minutes of the movie, by the time you get to the first song, HE'D BE VIBING ALONG AND SWINGING HIS HEAD TO THE MUSIC

"you're vibing" "huh? no, no, i... i'm shifting in my seat, is all" "but you're smiling and swaying to the beat" "i just have a major itch in my butt right now, okay, babe?" "sureeeee"

the minute you saw ryan gosling in the beach scene and feigned simping over him, like shielding your eyes from him as you smiled widely, or fanned yourself and muttered some words under your breath, he'd watch you and fold his arms in front of his chest and scoff.

"i can do that, i have more abs than he does, watch," he says as he readies to take his hoodie thing off him, BUT YOU STOP HIM IMMEDIATELY BECAUSE YOU TWO ARE IN A PUBLIC THEATER

"i just wanna prove to you he's got nothing on me! you don't need a ken, you have a ben! me! i'm your ben!" he says as his voice rises a little, irritating the people around you two, and you have never been more embarrassed in your entire life 😭😭😭

"okay, okay, you have lovely abs, benny, now keep them under your hoo--" "so you like me more than ken?" "...yes, i like you more than ke--" "do you love me more than ken?" "of course!" "well, kiss me to prove it. come on, babe." you sighed, shook your head, and he keeps pestering you for kisses, but you cover his face with your hand as he puckers up and leans closer towards you :>

IN THE SCENE WHERE KEN IS ONLY HAVING A GOOD DAY WHEN BARBIE NOTICES HIM, YOU LAUGH A LITTLE BECAUSE THAT SCENE IS ALL TOO FAMILIAR TO YOUUUUU

"why's it funny?" "oh, nothing, nothing, it's just... i know that all too well." "what do you mean, you don't know any kens, do you know any kens? i'll challenge them to a flex off." "no, benny, i don't know any kens." "well good, because i'm sure if you knew any, they'd--" "hush now, the movie's getting good." "dammit, you like ryan gosling more than me." (he says that as he puts his hoodie up and pulls the drawstrings and crosses his arms over his chest LMAO)

AND IN THE SCENE WHERE KEN TRIES TO KISS BARBIE BUT DOESN'T ACTUALLY KISS HER AND PULLS AWAY SATISFIED, YOU CHUCKLE AND LOOK AT BEN, AND HE LOOKS AT YOU, "why's that funny?" "because you used to do that when you were asking me out, remember?" (he does not remember, or pretends not to) "well i always get a kiss in the end, unlike ken over here. what a crappy name, anyway." "it's close to yours." "hey! leave my name out of this, hmph... ben's the best name in the world. second to yours, of course--" "hmm?" "nothing!"

during that one scene where ken's wearing the long sleeved clothing that said something along the lines of "i'm kenough", he'd be tearing up during the context of that scene and mumbles, "i'm benough..." "that you are, benny. you are benough."

out of the two of you, ben would come out crying, but he'd mask it as his usual brooding state and claim he just had some dust in his eyes. "in a theater?" "y-yeah... the pink p... powder fr-from the p-p-popcorn ente... red my e-eyes." "benny, it's completely okay to cry... like how barbie told ken..." you'd tell him as you hold his arm and caress his bicep, AND HE LETS OUT ALL HIS PENT UP EMOTIONS AND SADNESS ON YOU FROM THE MOVIE RIGHT THEN AND THERE, GUSHING ABOUT HOW HAPPY HE WAS FOR KEN FINDING WHO HE WAS WITHOUT BARBIE AND HOW BARBIE BECAME HUMAN.......

he loved it. and bought a barbie doll that looked like you, and you bought a ken doll that looked like him to match :>

a/n: i have so much more for him in store I SWEAR

tags !! @thecoolerdor @miguelswifey04 @binibinileonara

[1moremilgram-enjoyer]

Deep Cover Partial Analysis

Updated Murder Theory, "Lucky" & Kotoko's Relationship, T2 Verdict

Hello there, members of the jury! Deep Cover, huh? There's a decent bit to talk about in this MV, more than I really want to cover in just this post. So to put down my initial thoughts somewhere, I'm writing this! An update on my old theory from HARROW, my thoughts on Kotoko's relationship with the girl with the "Lucky" hat (which I'll just call Lucky for convenience), and my verdict for Trial 2!

CW Violent murder and blood, vigilantism, child kidnapping

Me trying to figure out what's going on in this video

Updated Murder Theory

What IS Kotoko's murder?

In the aftermath of the video, there have been a few different ideas about why exactly Kotoko ended up in Milgram, what her “Milgram murder” actually is. And while there are certainly many very interesting ideas going around, and I always love seeing different interpretations of what these videos show, I feel a lot of them are overcomplicating things.

This is Kotoko's killshot from Undercover. This is the most concrete confirmation we have of why Kotoko is in Milgram. Kotoko's murder involves her kicking someone to death. And given how much focus is put on her killing the white hoodie guy, both in HARROW and in Deep Cover, I feel the simplest explanation is that Kotoko's "Milgram murder" is the murder of the white hoodie guy.

That last point is important btw. The white hoodie guy death is the only one that actually is referenced in both HARROW and Deep Cover. Every MV to date has at least included an allusion to the murder, even if really abstract like Magic and Tear Drop. If Kotoko's "Milgram murder" involves Oshii, then Deep Cover is the only MV not to reference the murder. If her "Milgram murder" involves Lucky, the HARROW is the only MV not to reference the murder. This is inconsistent with all other MVs, which would be strange. You get what I'm saying?

Plus, let’s not forget what Kotoko says in TASK.

[TASK]

Kotoko: I did kill someone

Someone, singular. Unless there’s some ambiguity that’s lost on translation, Kotoko only killed one person, and her Milgram murder is kicking someone to death. She killed the white hoodie guy by kicking him, so he’s sorta the only option as to who her Milgram murder is.

And yes, Kotoko could have lied in her MV, but she has no reason to. She also says this:

[TASK]

Kotoko: After all, Es, you can access my heart, right? Through songs and videos..

Es: That is correct.

Kotoko: Then there's no problem. People who understand will automatically do so

So Kotoko believes the videos will reveal her murder, meaning she’d likely get caught in a lie once the extraction process began. Given she’s trying to team up with Es in TASK, being seen as a liar by them is counter-productive. In other words, Kotoko shouldn’t be lying here. Unless she somehow forgot another murder, she’s only killed the white hoodie guy.

The reason it's considered an "indirect" murder (if you don't know what that means, uh, don't worry about it) is that under Japanese law, it wasn't judged as actual murder, but rather legitimate defense, as revealed in Deep Cover. Now, I fully believe Kotoko did want to kill the guy and it wasn't entirely defense, but that's the ultimate ruling. Thus, I believe an "indirect" murder in Milgram's eyes is "an act which led to someone's death, but wouldn't be judged as murder in a court of law." Which is the definition I was always working with anyways lol.

All this to say, I don't think Lucky ever died, since as far as I can tell there is no solid evidence for it. It’s a nice theory, I like reading about it, I just don’t subscribe to it.

Now, I do want to be clear. There are still inconsistencies with this being the Milgram murder. The alley in Kotoko’s prisoner card is very strange, and while there are alternatives as to what those images could represent, they’re not very strong. Indeed, the card is very weird.

Additionally, her Trial 2 Voice Trailer distorted line doesn’t fit perfectly either. The lines in that trailer are generally understood to be from before the murder, but Kotoko’s seems to be directed at Lucky, which would place it after the warehouse incident. It could be directed at a different character, but it would have to be someone we’ve never seen before.

That said, no current theory about Kotoko’s murder is perfect. At some point you have to accept some inconsistencies somewhere, and I feel like the white hoodie guy murder being the Milgram murder is the least inconsistent of the answers. Occam’s razor; the simplest explanation, the one which makes the least assumptions, is usually the most accurate.

The Article and New Details

In Deep Cover, Kotoko is seen reading an article about her murder.

I'll leave two translations: Translation 1 and Translation 2. I recommend reading both for a full picture of what the text seems to say.

Now, this article gives us a few more details than we had in HARROW. First, white hoodie guy's name is Kaneshiro Tsugumichi (or Michi for short) and his father's name is Kaneshiro Isamu. Second, we also learn that Kotoko actually faced trial for her murder, but as she vaguely implied in TASK, the case was ruled as "justifiable defense", despite later investigations going against that idea. And of course they did, Kotoko tracked this guy down and went in fully intending to kill him. The ruling is at best a technicality and at worst a complete mistake. Still enough to qualify as "indirect" murder in my eyes though.

Kotoko's testimony of justifiable defense was corroborated by Lucky, although Lucky later retracted her statement. We'll get there.

Finally, the article ends by revealing that the case had become a bit of an internet meme. People claimed there were "multiple murderers" (referring to Michi and Kotoko) and that Kotoko was a hero. Or, rather, a "female university student." Given the wording in the article, I believe it's possible Kotoko's identity was never revealed to the public, as there would be no point in hiding her name if that weren't the case. I don't know enough about Japanese law to know if this makes sense or not, but I feel it's at least a possibility.

The article doesn't add much to what we already knew, but it's nice to get some extra details.

The Shots for the Updated Theory

Given how little this murder is actually referenced in the MV, you'd think there isn't much we can learn here, but there are two moments that I feel can help build on my previous (pretty outdated) theory.

What do we learn from these shots? Well, the main thing is that Lucky was actually in the room when the murder happened. Because while it's true the lighting and Lucky's position are slightly inconsistent, the water in the dark floor combined with Kotoko's kneeling position heavily implies these two shots happen one after the other.

More importantly, though, we actually see the restraints she had in the room she was being kept in in the floor.

This would imply she didn't go there on her own, and wasn't moved by Kotoko, who would have naturally removed the restraints before moving her. That means Michi moved her from the small room to the death room. And this fixes one of the biggest issues with HARROW's depiction of the murder: the switching rooms.

(Yes the shot in Deep Cover is flipped. No I don't know why)

As you can see, the walls are slightly different. And of course, they're way more open than the room the girl was being kept in. My original explanation for why this happens was more complicated than necessary, but now we have a bit more context.

First, the difference in the warehouse walls can just be explained by assuming these are two different sections of the warehouse, or even two warehouses which are connected somehow. This is somewhat consistent with the outside appearance of the warehouse:

You see how there's two buildings that share a wall? If that wall has a door, it would be possible to go from one to the other. And if they have different walls for some reason, it's possible the wall change simply happens because they enter one and end up in the other.

And why did they move? Well, because of the discarded restraints in Deep Cover, we can assume that perhaps Michi attempted to escape from Kotoko with Lucky in tow. He could have stunned Kotoko somehow (hammer maybe?), and ran away to the death room. Here's a diagram!

Pretty simple, right?

The Time Skip Confirmation

This is also a continuation of my previous theory. If you're not aware, Kotoko sees Michi kidnapping Lucky while she's wearing her blue and yellow hoodie, but attacks with her red hoodie.

I believed this, among other things, implied there was actually a period of time between when Kotoko spots the kidnapping and when she actually steps in. And the shot of Lucky on the floor corroborates this, as she's already bruised as if she had spent a decent amount of time under Michi's grasp.

As to why Kotoko didn't step in immediately, while I originally believed she was disheartened in some way, I now think it may have more to do with trying to hide her identity as she did when she attacked Oshii. Men's sneakers, red hoodie, etc. Except this time there was a witness, and since she apparently forgot her face covering at home, she couldn’t avoid being recognized and had to go to court. Perhaps that's why she seems so distressed when Lucky hugs her? She didn't want the attention, she didn't want to be recognized, because it would mean having to deal with the law.

Anyways, what does this mean? Well, not much, really. But it’s important because it means Kotoko wasn’t prepared to see a kidnapping that day, which in my eyes throws out some theories I’ve seen around about her possibly setting up Lucky as bait for Michi. If she had done that, surely she would have already been wearing the correct outfit, wouldn’t she?

And speaking of Lucky…

On Kotoko and Lucky's Relationship

This has almost become the main point of discussion around the MV, so I feel compelled to talk about it. Here’s what we know:

-Lucky originally testified to corroborate Kotoko’s testimony in court, but later, apparently while speaking to Isamu, retracted it. We don’t know what, if anything, Kotoko told her after the murder, but we can assume Kotoko lied to her the same way she lied to everyone else; “killing Michi was the only way to stop him, it was legitimate defense.” We also don’t know why she retracted her statement, but I’ll get to it in a moment.

By the way, Isamu claims Lucky may have been threatened, but I just don’t believe him. Lucky doesn’t seem scared of Kotoko until the very end (after the retraction), and Isamu has been involved in cover-ups of his son’s crimes before, as implied in HARROW. It’s in his best interest to defend his family name if he can cast doubt on Lucky’s testimony (more on this later).

-After the retraction of the statement, Kotoko is sitting on a park bench reading an article about it when Lucky comes up to her to show her the matching hat. Kotoko distractedly pats her head, but mostly ignores her in favor of the article. We don’t know if this meeting was arranged, or if Lucky just stumbled into Kotoko randomly and wanted to show off her cool hat. I’m leaning on the latter, personally. We also don’t know if they interacted further, or if Lucky just left immediately after. There’s no way to tell.

-After the park scene (note that Lucky already has the hat on her head, unlike when she first shows it off), Lucky waits outside a book store, mimicking Kotoko’s wall lean from HARROW. Lucky sees Kotoko and walks up to her, but becomes horrified when she sees the look in Kotoko’s eyes. Kotoko is wearing her murder outfit, and looks very angry. She ignores Lucky for the most part, only giving her a spare glance as she walks past. This means the meeting was not arranged, as Kotoko clearly wasn’t in the mood for it.

We don’t know why Lucky was waiting in front of the book store (was she waiting for Kotoko? did she know where Kotoko would be? Or was she waiting for something/someone else and just happened to recognize Kotoko walking by?). We don’t know if they met in more occasions, or if we’re shown the full extent of their interactions after meeting in court (did Lucky start mimicking Kotoko after hanging out a lot? or did she pick up the habit almost instantly, having seen Kotoko do the wall lean after the murder/during court procedure?).

I repeat that we don’t know much because, well, that’s the main problem here. We just don’t know, and we can’t know based just on the events of Deep Cover what their deal is. The only info we definitely have is:

-Lucky likes Kotoko, even after retracting her statement, though she’s scared of her meaner side.

-Kotoko appears dismissive of Lucky, at least from what we saw.

And that’s it! The only way we can further try to infer what their relationship is like is by looking at Kotoko’s character and speculating on what she would act like around this child. Thankfully, Kotoko’s actions are very straightforwardly informed by her overly simplistic worldview.

According to Kotoko, there are essentially three types of people. The Evil People who oppress and hurt those weaker than them:

(T1) Q20: What do you think is evil?

K: Oppressing innocent weaklings.

The Hero who will protect the Weaklings by destroying the Evil People:

[Deep Cover]

Come on, rely on me, go on

I became your fangs

As the long-awaited hero I engraved the answer

Tell me why you tell me, “Stop”

Don’t you dare stop now

I want a reason for judgment execution, I want it

Give me the next target

(I hate mobile formatting I hate mobile formatting I hate-)

And the Weaklings, who need to stay out of the way.

[Trial 2 Voice Trailer]

Kotoko: From the beginning I've never asked for your understanding! My actions, one by one, are bringing earth closer to peace. Useless weaklings should just shut up and let me protect them!

Weaklings shouldn’t meddle with the actions of the Hero, because the Hero knows best. If a decision or course of action is too difficult for a Weakling, they have to sit back and let the Hero choose for them.

[YONAH]

Kotoko: Weak... You're too weak. With that fragile body of yours, you can't stop anyone. You can't protect anyone. You can't even do your justice. All imperfect.

[…]

K: You're unable to do it yourself, that's why you need me. The fangs to do your will.

This fits with Kotoko, the Hero, being so dismissive towards Lucky, a Weakling. She probably wouldn’t want someone like Lucky to mimick her, because Lucky is Weak and should just rely on Kotoko for protection. It’s what gives Kotoko’s life meaning, after all.

[Deep Cover]

I want a reason for judgment execution, I want it

Give me the next target

This is what makes me believe that Kotoko and Lucky may have never really hung out outside of what we’re shown in Deep Cover. Because simply put, there’s no reason for Kotoko to be hanging out with her after the court case. Even back then, the only thing Kotoko had to tell her was that her murder was legitimate defense, which again is just what she was telling everyone else. Kotoko most likely had no reason to believe Lucky would retract her statement, and she doesn’t seem interested in hanging out with her for any other reason.

To be clear, I do think Kotoko cares about Lucky to some extent. She did show up in the magic subconscious video, after all. Kotoko is most likely glad to see Lucky happy, at least. I’m just saying that I don’t think their relationship really extended beyond “it’s nice to bump into each other in the street occasionally.” Of course, that’s only my interpretation, it’s perfectly fine if you interpret it in some other way.

Temporary CW Grooming

No, I don’t think Kotoko groomed Lucky. Unless you count lying to her about how legitimate the defense was, which again is more of a lie Kotoko told everyone than anything Lucky specific. I can definitely see the angle, the few scenes we have are pretty damn sketchy if you look at them a certain way, but I don’t think we have to assume the worst. Again, there is no reason for Kotoko to even groom her in the first place. She wouldn’t want Lucky to follow in her footsteps; she has no reason to be worried about the testimony, at least up until the retraction; and there’s not many other reasons she would have to do it. And Kotoko is decently pragmatic, she doesn’t usually bother doing things she doesn’t need.

To be clear, I absolutely believe Kotoko would have groomed Lucky, if it had been convenient for her. She does it to Es in YONAH, the lines I already used.

[YONAH]

Kotoko: Weak... You're too weak. With that fragile body of yours, you can't stop anyone. You can't protect anyone. You can't even do your justice. All imperfect.

[…]

K: You're unable to do it yourself, that's why you need me. The fangs to do your will.

That’s grooming. That’s what’s happening there. I’m not trying to defend this or even Kotoko, she absolutely is a groomer and this is Very Horrible. This deserves discussion, but it’s not what this post is about.

However, in YONAH, Kotoko has a reason to be doing it. She needs Es to hand out the Guilty judgements she wants. That doesn’t make it better, it just makes it in line with her character. She has no reason to manipulate Lucky, and again, she’s always shown to be dismissive of her.

Again, I do see where the concern comes from, and I wouldn’t be 100% surprised if it turned out to be true. I just don’t like to jump to conclusions on this sort of thing on principle, not when we have so little context for what we’re seeing, and especially not when it’s somewhat contradictory to Kotoko’s character and the central themes of her story.

Temporary CW Over

The Withdrawal of the Statement

This is one of the weirdest details of the MV, so I feel I should address it before signing off. Here’s what we know:

-Lucky testified in court that she was saved by “a female university student” according to the article (read: saved by Kotoko), and corroborated Kotoko’s testimony. Which was likely: she was being kidnapped (true), Kotoko caught the kidnapper red-handed (basically true, Lucky was tied up and on the floor with Michi beside her), Kotoko and Michi got into a fight over it (true), and Kotoko had to kill Michi to stop him (debatable, but Lucky likely believed it true).

-After the trial, Kaneshiro Isamu, the CEO of a big newspaper company, launches a private investigation that concludes Kotoko used excessive force.

-After that, it’s mentioned Isamu claims that Lucky retracted her statement.

-Isamu also claims some other stuff, trying to muddy up whether or not his son really was a kidnapper or not, but being The Guy That Covered Up a Bunch of Child Murders, I’m not inclined to believe him.

When I lay it all out like this, it seems like there’s a pretty simple explanation for what happened here. There is only one part of Lucky’s statement that could have needed retracting, the “legitimate defense” part, and that’s exactly what Isamu’s investigation contradicted. Given it’s Isamu, a newspaper company CEO of all things, the one who reveals the withdrawal, it’s assumed Lucky retracted it in his presence or in the presence of someone working for him. Meaning they could have told Lucky there was evidence of excessive force.

With that in mind, I believe it’s possible Lucky was told Kotoko may have used excessive force, and decided just in case to go back on the whole “legitimate defense” thing. Which of course Isamu spins into “she retracted the entire statement” because that’s what’s most convenient for him, who is likely trying to protect the family name from accusations of kidnapping.

I feel this is the most straightforward answer as to what could have happened. It’s consistent with Lucky still wanting to hang out with Kotoko and getting matching hats, it fits with her being scared of Kotoko later as she fully realizes Isamu and his people may have had a point, it fits Isamu’s known behavior, and it fits the context of the article.

It could even vaguely fit Lucky’s design choices. You know how her outfit looks like a prisoner’s outfit? Well, she sure is trapped in a weird situation between the kidnapping, Kotoko lying, Isamu trying to get her to retract the statement… I don’t know if this makes sense or not but I’m saying it anyways!

Is it the only possibility? Hell no. We have way too little context about the withdrawal to say anything definitive, so I’m perfectly open to hearing different reasons for why it could have happened. At the moment, though, I believe this to be one of the more solid possibilities.

This idea could also indicate who Kotoko wants to kill at the end, given she is wearing her murder outfit and all. She could take this as Isamu and his people manipulating a “weakling”, and we know she doesn’t take kindly to that kind of thing. That’s complete speculation, though, so don’t take it very seriously. I still think she only killed one person anyways, because of the whole “killed someone (singular)” thing.

Verdict

With all of it laid out, what am I voting her this Trial?

To what I imagine is no one’s surprise, Guilty.

I know this post has been kinder to her than a lot of other posts going around, but that doesn’t mean I’m ignoring the awful things Kotoko has done, and would continue to do if Forgiven this Trial. Already, she is stuck in a cycle of violence where the only way she can find fulfillment is by attacking those she considers worthy of punishment, a problem she’s had since Trial 1. While I don’t think regret is necessary for forgiveness (I’m the “Local Amane Momose Apologist” for a reason), it is important for forgiveness that I can believe they won’t continue to do the same bad thing in the future, which is not the case with Kotoko. At least from what we know, it seems she would absolutely kill someone else if fully Forgiven.

And that’s without the very obvious meta aspect. There are quite a few prisoners who could be in real danger if she’s Forgiven. The most obvious ones being Muu and Haruka (even if Haruka does have other stuff to worry about too), but Amane and Mikoto could also be targets because Kotoko didn’t manage to get to them in Trial 1. Oh, and Es. She would probably try manipulating them further if she sees them as an ally, which is what a Forgiven verdict would cause.

Mind you, an Unforgiven verdict isn’t perfect, either. She will certainly become antagonistic towards Es if she’s Unforgiven, so I doubt she’d actually listen to the verdict. She’ll likely close herself off and become isolated, which is the worst thing that can happen to someone with a mindset like hers.

Hell, it’s not even perfect for prison safety purposes. A restrained Kotoko is still probably stronger than a restrained Muu, a restrained Haruka and even an unrestrained Amane. Just, hopefully not strong enough to cause serious damage.

More pressingly, though, Kotoko herself is a massive target, given she’s antagonized basically the entire prison. Fuuta has a vendetta and a strong sense of justice, and while I’d hope he’s learnt the lesson that he shouldn’t take justice into his own hands, Amane’s religion (which is clearly starting to influence him) also places a lot of value on punishing those who go against destiny, so. Then there’s the fact Kotoko’s clearly shown herself as a threat to Mikoto, and while violence landed them into the Milgram mess in the first place, John might decide Kotoko’s dangerous enough to warrant becoming a “savior” again.

And God forbid she does get hurt and Shidou doesn’t have enough time or resources to treat all the injured people around. Because Mr “someone’s value cannot be the same as another” Kirisaki is not going to help Kotoko at anyone else’s expense.

But ultimately, we have to pick the lesser of two evils. From a meta sense, I’m more worried about what Kotoko could do to Muu/Amane than what Fuuta/John/whoever else could do to Kotoko. More importantly, from a mindset sense, I’m more worried about enabling and encouraging her current behavior (which at this point would be practically irreversible, given there’s only one Trial left) than antagonizing her and causing her to isolate. Both are bad, but one of them has a chance of getting the personification of the death penalty (death penalty without trial, no less) to change her ways.

See, what I’m hoping is that (depending of what happens from this point on) we can try to make amends and Forgive on Trial 3, with the hope she understands we believe she’s in the wrong, but that we won’t abandon her and she deserves a chance to better herself. That compassion could be enough for her to start working towards improvement… maybe.

I’m definitely being way too optimistic, but when we’re working with The Worst System in History, all that’s left is to try our best and hope things turn out alright, even when we lack good tools to try and make that happen.

I sincerely hope she can break the toxic mindset she’s stuck in and gets to a place where I can vote her Forgiven in Trial 3, but as of right now, a Trial 2 Forgiven is just not on the table for me. Sorry Kotoko, I do feel kinda bad for you still, Milgram’s punishment for the Unforgiven is awful :(

Conclusion

That’s it for now! I’ll maybe make some other posts discussing other stuff in this MV, since there’s surprisingly quite a bit in it, but for now I’ve said what I needed to say. Take care!