#i made myself sad making this gifset!

[kinnbig]

KinnPorsche Gif Series | Favourite Dynamics [1/7] | The Theerapanyakul Brothers

[chloecherrysip]

"I hope you told your brother how much you loved him, because you're probably never gonna see him again."

"..."

"Was that too dark?"

"YES!"

"Sorry."

[buffyspeak]

did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen? time went on for everybody else, she won't know it.

[airenyah]

this is a gifset about looking.

you know when aye asks if he can kiss akk and akk closes his eyes in response? and then aye closes his eyes too and tells akk he’ll stop if akk’s not ok. and akk opens his eyes again when aye starts talking but the thing is!! akk is ok right in that moment!! he doesn’t really want aye to stop!! so he closes his eyes once more.

and then. just for a split moment

aye’s eyes also flutter open again

and it’s only then, only when he’s checked one last time that akk really is ok that aye moves to kiss him

[khaotunq]

😶😞

[clutchofmuses]

"Care to explain, my lady?"

ft Maron Greyjoy (@azmenka) and Abrogail Strong

(mutuals may reblog)

[yoohyeontual]

I have to go to sleep, but I’m so scared of being alone with my thoughts 😭

[noah-price]

i have a s15 emily and spencer gifset + 2 other posts queued for the next few weeks while i prepare for finals!! i’ll continue my gif series after i’m done :)

in the meantime here’s a full size spencer gif from my other post bc blue....and floofy hair.....yeah

[33max]

A Guide to The Verstappen Dachshunds 🐶

The Verstappen’s have owned dachshunds for over 30 years (according to Jos!) and as a dachshund lover myself I thought I would put together everything I know so far about the Verstappen sausages.

Spyke

Spyke is the most well known Verstappen dachshund as he was Max’s best friend for 11 years. Spyke lived with Jos and Max, until Max moved out, and then Spyke stayed with Jos.

Spyke died at the very end of 2020 and Max bid an emotional farewell to him on Instagram.

Zigi

Zigi is often confused for Spyke (as let’s be real they look the same) but Zigi is actually Sophie’s dog.

He is currently 14 years old and doing well! I think he had a sister called Zaza but I have not managed to find out very much about Zaza.

@tyrannosaurus-maxy also made me this gifset of Zigi (and Zaza?) from Max Verstappen: Whatever It Takes as Max fusses Zigi and Zaza in the video and they’re often spotted in the background.

Like here, where Zigi is watching Max play fifa.

Holly

Holly is a new addition! She lives with Sophie and Zigi. There is not currently any photos of Max with Holly and when there are you will know about it as I will likely combust.

Holly is an Isabella (this is a diluted colouring and makes me sad 😭) miniature smooth haired dachshund, which actually makes her different as up until now it appears the Verstappen’s have only owned miniature wire haired dachshunds.

Others

Jos does currently have a miniature wire haired dachshund but I am not sure of the name, however… here it is!

I believe this is Zaza? (Sophie’s dog and Zigi’s sister)

And then here are some more photos of Holly and Zigi!

(you can find all of these images on max, victoria, sophie, and jos’ instagram account and some are insta stories that I’ve saved because I’m obsessed with verstappen sausage dog lore)

THANK YOU FOR READING AND FEEL FREE TO SEND ME ANY VERSTAPPEN SAUSAGE INFO 🫡

[hotvintagepoll]

Welcome to the HOT AND VINTAGE MOVIE STARS tournament! We are now finished with the Hot & Vintage Men Tournament; The Hot & Vintage Movie Women Tournament is ongoing. Submissions for hot vintage women are now closed, but we are accepting propaganda for those already in the bracket.

Round 1 of the Hot & Vintage Women Tournament began with 540 hot women in prelims. Round 1 starts Saturday, March 2nd, with posts going up over several days. All polls—including ongoing polls, previous rounds, old tournaments, the various shadow brackets, and fun mini polls—can be found in the #hotvintagepoll tag. Every poll in the Hot & Vintage Women Tournament will be tagged with the hot woman in it if you need to search for a hot woman in particular.

FAQs:

“Where is [my favorite hot woman]?” It depends. Are all the Round 1 polls up yet? Have you checked all the polls in the tag? Have you done a tag search for her? If you still haven’t found her, either nobody submitted her or she did not fit the criteria of being a movie woman from 1910-1970.

“Can I still submit hot women?” No, the submission window has closed. Please do not send in women you wish had made it into the bracket. I can’t do anything with those asks and they just make me sad.

“I have additional propaganda for the hot women!” Great! Send me an ask or reblog the poll and add your propaganda to it. If you see a separate post that relates to your hot woman, like a fancam or a gifset, you can tag me in it. I don’t boost all the propaganda I see or receive, but I try to boost the best of the best.

If you’re submitting propaganda for your hot lady, I don’t accept propaganda that’s from beyond the end of this tournament’s era (ie don’t send me pics of them from before 1910 or after 1970). I also don’t accept propaganda of TV appearances unless it’s clearly a cameo where they’re playing themselves. If you have a TON of photos to submit, please send a few asks instead of one long one. I watch every video I receive so I can add trigger warnings, so please don't send long videos—I don't have time to review them.

I don’t post or boost negative propaganda about any hot woman. If you really hate that a certain hot woman is winning, send me positive propaganda for their hot opponent. If you think a hot woman shouldn’t even be included in the tournaments because of scummy things she did in her lifetime, please read my take on it here.

If I see repetitive, trolling, and/or bigoted remarks in the comments, I may block you from this bracket. If you want to point out a hot woman’s flaws or misdemeanors, that’s fine, but if I see consistent bad-faith trolling, you will be blocked.

The views expressed in the propaganda are not my own. I don’t submit my own propaganda, and I don’t change what’s submitted beyond fixing spelling mistakes. If you hate a poll bio or a pic, let me know and send me something I can use instead. Thoughtless bitching will get blocked.

"Where are the hot men?" Most of them are in the shadow realm! Toshiro Mifune was crowned the winner of the Hot & Vintage Men Tournament, and the rest were banished where the sun never shines. You can find all the round 1 matchups here (thank you @markwatnae!), or you can search the archive by tag to find out more about what happened to all the different hot men.

"Why didn't my propaganda make it into the poll post?" Either I couldn't open the link, or there was so much submitted I could only pick a few. Because this tournament is so much bigger than the Hot & Vintage Men one, I'm limiting propaganda to 5 pics per hot lady for Round 1. I know, a bummer! I have to do it this way to keep myself sane. If you have a photo you really want the world to see, follow the propaganda guidelines above.

“My FAQ isn’t on here :(” send me an ask! I love hearing from you guys—just please check these basics first.

Thank you for being here! Enjoy the tournament.

[inchidentally]

because apparently I can't stop being weird ! 🫠

(this is completely shipping goggles off btw and with the assumption that there's no point theorizing about these men's actual sexualities since a)male sports and b)required travel to countries where the penalty for homosexuality is death/imprisonment.)

I kind of love that we're all picking up on something new and indefinable with Lando and Oscar and it makes our hearts do a little squeeze without fully knowing why. I'm basically finding myself repeating everyone else's tags on landoscar gifsets. and it made me think about why and how Lando has had two main support systems in terms of friendships up til now. there's the F1 alphas/extroverts and then there are his childhood besties.

F1

so like every guy or group of guys I've seen with Carlos somehow admit he's in the alpha position and rotate around him as the leader. it's very much like Daniel even though Carlos and Daniel aren't much alike outside of that (Daniel makes noise to be the leader, Carlos just exists as a leader). for an ambivert like Lando, Carlos and Daniel are great places to be when he's getting pulled under. they're typical straight alpha types who don't believe in getting stuck in their heads or feelings (Carlos' 'mental health' ad basically being go to the gym and stay productive to not feel sad lol) and they exist in a kind of nonstop monologue. so little Lando can just bob along in the current and know that he'll laugh and forget whatever ails him. very much like what he needed Carlos for after the Mexico race when he looked so drained and ended up magically chipper again in Brazil (in reality bc of friendship and not a solid dicking down as I have tagged in a lot of places). or that private plane ride with Daniel where Lando looked twelve years old and so happy. Lando clearly needs to feel small again sometimes and these are the guys who can do that.

Childhood

Max F obviously has that role of truth-telling and soul-baring that honestly I could see Lando not being able to live without. the friend/soulmate you can't hide anything from. I'm absolutely projecting at this point as someone who feels verrrry simpatico with Lando's personality (as we're allowed to see it) but having that person who can love you while being honest and real with you is so SO SO needed. but! there are times when it's too much and they know that you need to just float for a while. I feel like there's that core group of guys in the Max F circle who are all to different degrees like this with Lando. they're much more his equals in power dynamic too.

Oscah??

I think this is where Oscar exists in like a third, unexplored space. he's been caught in 4K as a Lando fanboy but he's also got sleepy cat personality so you can only tell from the internet evidence and from the way his eyes track Lando every time they're in the same rough vicinity that he's still fairly starstruck.

to me it's like Oscar hasn't quite shaken the norm of watching Lando on his phone screen and he almost forgets that he's supposed to be the one interacting with Lando in the challenges etc.

now if you've watched the Prema content on YT you'll know that Oscar, while still sleepy and placid, absolutely knew how to play up for social media content. sure the pressure wasn't that high and he'd known some of those boys for years by then. but his timing was solid and he adopted a sarcastic voice-of-reason role to bounce off the other guys. but what's so endearing about the McLaren content is that Oscar has basically positioned himself as guest star in the Lando Show. it's like he's so relieved at how good Lando is at media content that he spends a lot of his role in it watching what Lando is doing. I'm serious when I say it seems like he forgets he's not watching Lando on a screen like he always used to.

I do however think it's a confident and conscious decision that he made to not even bother trying to be another Carlos or Daniel - or to try and copy paste a little of the banter he'll have seen Lando have in Quadrant videos. I really love that Oscar's said you know what I'm being me and it so happens I'm nothing like those other people in Lando's content.

but !! you know who's personality and sense of humor Oscar most resembles? Max F. dry humor, sleepy but can get riled up and fun when they're feeling it. sort of fondly exasperated with Lando a lot of the time. I loved the stream of Max watching the Most Likely To with Lando and Oscar because he sided with Oscar so many times and appreciated Oscar bringing up the birthday issue.

and I think that's where for Lando he's still pretty damn thrown by Oscar - not in a bad way, just still uncertain. Oscar doesn't fit with Lando's extroverted F1 world. Oscar's plenty friendly with the rest of the grid (and obv Logan) but he's choosing to largely go under the radar and he runs his social media very lowkey even during some of the major highs he's had his rookie season. he's there to race F1 cars and when that's over he's got a very good brain in his head and plenty of options. he doesn't have the same insecurities that a lot of the drivers admit to having. Lando can't rely on Oscar being a typical F1 driver to understand him.

to finally come around to some kind of point I think what we're seeing is Lando and Oscar tiptoeing around a friendship that would probably develop very fast and easily if it weren't for the F1 pressure and expectations. we're seeing Lando unusually flustered by how easy he gets Oscar's attention and how he seemingly can't annoy or inadvertently piss off Oscar even if he tries to wind him up in videos or if he gets lost in admiration for his own trophy while Oscar shrugs off his own P14 finish and smiles at Lando. I genuinely think that level of undemanding affection has Lando sort of squirmy in an adorable way.

and Oscar clearly went into the personal side of his relationship to Lando of just enjoying whatever he gets and not trying to be someone he isn't. rookie seasons are already so pressure packed and the drama with Alpine followed by the rough start McLaren had won't have helped. he's just trying to do his job and prove his place and honestly isn't bothering to hide that he's baffled and flustered at finding himself interacting with Lando Norris the way Carlos Sainz and Daniel Ricciardo were. it's easier to just let people see that Lando can wrap him around his finger.

when all the time, if they'd met via Max F or mutual non-F1 friends, Oscar would fold right into Lando's group like butter on toast. I think that's what we pick up on with either or both of them getting shy and crushing on each other like new best friends at school. F1 has picked them up and put a camera on them and we're watching them slowly learn if it's okay to put an arm around each other or sit very close or touch the other person's hair. because they know this is very Real FriendTM friend potential and they don't want to spook each other and their feelings could so easily be hurt if they thought the other person didn't want to be friends as much or if they'd turn their back on them in front of their other friends.

they're not interacting as Typical Blokes by horseplay or teasing or being loud and they're not Just Guys Bein Dudes using humor and sarcasm to figure out the pecking order.

most of the time they're so shy or Lando's in a mood and Oscar finds it adorable and they're watching each other so closely the whole time like this and aauuuuhhggggg it's so vulnerable and sweet.

that's how it feels to me anyway and why I'm so ???!!! watching them interact. and sidenote I'm so so glad Oscar is so steady and can celebrate Lando no matter what. bc Lando admits he struggles with that in turn and after the many times it's been tested it's clearly never going to be something that breaks them before they can continue to get closer <3

[chickenstrangers]

2023 in Review: Meta Edition

tag game: link your top and/or favorite posts/metas/gifs for each month of 2023

Since I already did this post just for my gifs (here) this feels even more self-indulgent but I was tagged by the lovely @ranchthoughts @troubled-mind and @lurkingshan so I will indulge myself and reflect on my writing in 2023.

I properly got started a bit later in the year, and it is interesting to look at my busiest months because I tended to either be in a gif mood or a meta mood, and often didn't overlap the two (in the fall, I made a lot of gifs, so wrote a lot less meta).

I often feel like they go hand in hand though, and gifs (like all types of fan creations) are a form of analysis/comparison/meta commentary. Either I have a meta idea that I can only convey visually, or the process of making a gif takes so much time I start to have meta thoughts about it, and sometimes I write those down.

May

May was my first meta month and my busiest.

top: Bad Buddy, Tragedy, and Queer Futures which is basically my Bad Buddy thesis statement and I loved making a scholarly bibliography for a meta

favorite: Wen as Observer in Moonlight Chicken which had ideas I returned to throughout the year in gif form (here and here)

honorable mentions because I wrote a lot this month: Pat's Shirts: An Extended Analysis (inspired by shirt analysis scholars like @dribs-and-drabbles, because I love taking silly things seriously and I made myself genuinely sad thinking about Pat's Hawaiian shirts); Conflict and Empathy in My School President and Kieta Hatsukoi (two shows very close to my heart for very similar reasons, and I love a comparative essay)

June

top: Metatextuality in Our Skyy 2 BBxATOTS (linking my other OS2 metas here and here because they were all part of the same conversation)

favorite: Ghosts and Hauntings in Moonlight Chicken which was a more experimental writing attempt for me, and I loved the tags from @firstkhaolesbian @ranchthoughts @pondphuwin and @akkpipitphattana. Followed it with this gifset later in the year.

July

top: Photography in Aof's Series again I love to compare shows

favorite: Time and Grief in Eternal Yesterday, my ode to one of the most impactful and beautiful and heartbreaking shows I watched this year

August

top: a comment on the set design for Sand and Ray's houses in Only Friends

favorite: Intertwined Discoveries in He's Coming to Me and the supernatural and queer story lines in parallel

September

top: a comment on ephemerality and wardrobe in Only Friends

favorite: parallels between Beam/Jim and Alan/Wen and why I think the relationships need to be considered in tandem (thoughts I had while making these gifs). I'm also fond of this He's Coming to Me post that was the thought process behind these gifsets)

October and November

no writing of the meta variety because I decided to write 50k words for NaNoWriMo and ended up with (half) a book instead

December

top & favorite: another silly meta! Not Me is About Earrings with an excellent addition by @ranchthoughts

Some no pressure tags if you feel like talking about your writing/any other types of creative work you did this year (does not have to be monthly): anyone I tagged throughout this post already, @twig-tea @slayerkitty @emotionallychargedtowel @dudeyuri @shannankle @visualtaehyun @airenyah @telomeke @waitmyturtles @kattahj or anyone who sees this, consider yourself tagged!

[suffersinfandom]

gifset by seraph-novak

So there’s a critique of this scene (and Ed in season two as a whole) that I haven’t been able to shake. The post went into how the whole mermaid sequence was ruined by the rest of the season -- about how this beautiful scene was, put in the context of Ed’s behavior in the rest of season two, an ominous rebirth of a villain. The writer couldn’t see Ed as a protagonist finding the will to live; they saw a monster getting another chance to terrorize his victims.

I really hate that. I’ve already typed way too much about how I don’t think that Ed is abusive or that the Kraken Era was all that bad, so of course I disagree with any take that characterizes Ed as a monster. But do you know why this post stuck with me?

It made me unreasonably sad.

There’s a danger in over-identifying with characters (and I do think that a lot of the tension in OFMD fandom comes from over-identification), but it’s so easy for me to understand what Ed’s going through in the first three episodes of season two. I’ve been there. Judging by this post, many of us have been where Ed is. 

We’ve struggled to live while we’re drowning. We’ve been trapped and hopeless and desperate for a reason to keep going -- for someone to give us hope that things can be better. 

And we’ve also hurt people in our despair. 

When I was in my Kraken Era, I was a sick college student who’d been fighting depression since middle school. I’d just escaped a “friendship” with someone who (I can admit in retrospect) abused me mentally and emotionally, and I had no other friends because that person had effectively isolated me. I was alone and I was convinced that I was a fundamentally unlovable person who had no right to exist. 

I pushed the few people I had around me away. I isolated myself from my mother as much as I could while living in her house. I cut off communication with my online acquaintances (who would later become good friends) and didn’t speak to anyone at school. For a while, I was so focused on my pain and self hatred that I barely thought about other people. It was an intensely selfish and self-centered existence, and I hurt my mom and everyone who could’ve been a friend. When you're in that desperately hopeless, depressed mindset, you don't care about hurting people because your own pain is so all-consuming. If anything, you want to hurt others so they'll give up on you in the same way you've given up on yourself.

It’s different from what Ed did, of course, because he’s not me and I wasn’t a pirate captain with the lives of a crew in my hands. The harm I could cause was severely limited by my lack of power, but I still caused it. I was still trying to isolate and cut ties and push away anyone who could’ve helped me even when I desperately wanted help. I wasn’t a good person.

Watching Ed go through a self-destructive arc that’s immediately identifiable, deeply personal, and so well done was incredible, and seeing the show support him instead of demonizing his behavior? I have no words for the way I felt during season two’s run. 

OFMD makes Ed a sympathetic character who’s worth loving even when he’s at his lowest. It gives us a lead who fucks up when he’s in the depths of his despair and it doesn’t pity him or wave away his problems or make a monster out of him. It doesn’t even have his romantic interest save him! Instead, it lets Ed save himself when he realizes that there’s still hope and love out there. 

This show reminded me that we’re not monsters even if we’ve hurt people. It told me that recovery is possible, and so is forgiveness. It asked me to keep loving Ed through his entire arc, and in doing that, it forced me to love the parts of me that I’m still working on as well.

So I know that I shouldn’t be bothered by people who see season two Ed as an irredeemable monster who gets an undeserved second shot at life, y’know? But even though I’m a decade and a half out of my own Kraken Era, I’m still in a perpetual state of recovery. There’s always a persistent doubt -- a suspicion that there’s a fundamental flaw in me that no amount of therapy will fix -- and that doubt latched onto some random person’s conviction that Ed is a monster. It says, If Ed will always be a monster, what about you?

And I know that voice is wrong because it’s always been a liar. I know that it doesn’t matter that some portion of the fanbase turned on Ed in season two because that man isn’t real and he’s not me. I know that, for people who haven’t experienced something that was reflected in Ed’s arc, it might be difficult to sympathize with him (and with real life people who blow their lives up in their despair). 

There will always be people who don’t understand or can’t empathize with that kind of desperate hopelessness, but there are also many, many people who get it… and some of those people were clearly in season two's writer’s room. Some of those people are in this fandom.

I guess what I’m getting at is this: I hope that, if you saw yourself in Ed’s early season two story, you know that you’re not a monster and you’re not a villain in someone else’s story, no matter what anyone else says. I hope you know that you’re worthy of love. 

I hope you know you’re not alone.

[cyberdragoninfinity]

Sorey this is stupid but in duel links. Since Z-One is at least aware that he's stuck there/dead/however its intrpreted its been a while and I apologize do u think that simce he doesn't technically -need- it that he can just. Leave the life support machine. Walk around for a bit. Idk I feel like he deserves it

Also was anyone gonna tell me his version of the yusei go has a fucking GUN or was I supposed to find that out via a gifset from 2012 myself. Man could have started blasting. The show should have let him, I think

I don't think that's stupid at all, it's a good question! AI characters in DL do seem to have some semblance of control over how they appear in the duel world (at least especially with Bruno since he can shift between his 'civilian' form and Antinomy seemingly at will) so it stands to reason that any of them Could theoretically take on a different form... I think the one thing standing in the way of Z-one being able to 'leave' his contraption/appear in one of his younger states is the nature of how all the AI entities in DL are made of other people's memories, and if there's not enough memories to draw from a form can't manifest (as seen in Arc-V world with the ongoing effort to bring Lulu home/there not being enough people present who have memories of her.)

Since really the only people who hold memories of Z-one in anything other than his Life Support Apparatus are Antinomy and Paradox and Maybe a few of Aporia's memories, that simply just might not be enough for him to actually make the most of it and assume a more Guy Who Can Up and Walk Around form. VERY SAD THOUGH he does deserve it, at least a little. After Everything. :(

also YEAH his yusei go has a big fuckoff cannon on it and i also forgot about this fact until just now when i went to go look at it again.

AND HE ALREADY STARTED BLASTING ACTUALLY!!! HE SAVED ANTINOMY'S LIFE BY BLASTING A GRANEL RIGHT IN THE CHEST!!! IT RULES. Z-MAN DONT FUCK AROUND!!!

[lookingforcactus]

Live action Yu Yu Hakusho liveblog: ep 1

This is so much fun. Nostalgia time. 13 year old me is LIVING

Warning for like whole ep 1 spoilers and all

Yusuke and Botan look great which I already knew going in from the gifset that informed me this show exists lol, but it's delightful, bc the characters in this show aren't necessarily the easiest to translate to live action

Botan is adorable. Her hair is adorable. And I'm delighted to see that Yusuke's hair is the Correct amount of Poufy

Plot twist: Kuwabara hot. He looks great actually. Translated nonliterally compared to Yusuke but v well. The actor is selling me on it too, fun casting

Kuwabara was always hard for me to watch in the original bc he set off my vicarious embarrassment soo hard. Glad they're less committed to making him the constant source of painful comedic relief here lol

KOENMA PACIFIER REVEAL I LOVE IT

Laughed out loud for real tbh

Idk if I'm a little disappointed he's not a baby but like live action would make that ridic hard to do in a lot of ways so I don't blame them at all. He's in his adult form which makes sense. Still damn glad they kept the pacifier it is RUINING his dignity and I love it

I also don't blame them for cutting the flying oar effects. A lil sad but the initial transition to Reikai looked great so they're forgiven

Yusuke. "No thanks." I knew it was coming and the delivery still made me laugh out loud. Just dropped it in there. Yusuke I love you please see a therapist

Fight scenes are v creative and p epic

Seriously they do a really good job of making Yusuke's fighting style as a human believable, fun to watch, and effective. He rly does come off as just kind of a natural fighting genius (with practice ofc)

Sakyo in ep 1? Weird but I'm not opposed. The wavy hair is kinda freaking me out though ngl. Smoothness was just such his THING in the show it's distracting

Really liked Yusuke's mom's introduction (not that it was flattering to her as a character) but I wish they'd done more with her in the rest of the ep. Her power hug at the end is great tho

Show's slowing down a bit but it's fine I'm still having fun, the nostalgia power will get me through basically whatever

NO PUU!!!! This is tragic but I Do understand this as an adaptation choice. Reluctantly. Tragic tho.

Bug under guy's face effect EPICALLY creepy

That said I keep watching the motion of him and the other demons in this ep and thinking about Hayao Miyazaki said about the disgusting cruelty of using effects technology to make the scary scary inhuman monsters just fucking. look and move like disabled ppl

Seriously I keep seeing flashes of the appearance and movements of people I know with developmental disabilities (particularly this one guy I know with cerebral palsy but also I've worked in care work for disabled adults and just kind of a lot of people in general) and. I hate this. Especially as a person who DOES have a (nonvisible) developmental disability myself. This is such a rising trend in horror/sff/fantasy tv/movies/video games and I hate everything about it. Hayao Miyazaki was right this kind of attitude and shit really is "an insult to life itself"

Anyway fight scene cool

I love Keiko btw. Her crying and blaming herself! Her face when Yusuke comes back! Also Yusuke "I'm not gonna die just bc you talked shit" pffft jackass (affectionate)

DEMON CREW CAMEO AT THE END

Kurama looks pretty good. Goki actually looks wayyyy better than he did in the anime imho, which I did not see coming.

Effects on Kurama and Hiei's fighting looks surprisingly great. They pulled off the rose whip way better than I thought they would, and did some great wirework with Hiei's speed and fighting style

That said....Hiei...oof. That hair was always gonna be a Challenge but I think their ambition here did uh. not play off rip. Hopefully it'll look better later on

[jaskierx]

little pre-warning for suicide (i'm fine though!!)

sorry if this isn't articulated very well but like. i got into ofmd only last october when season 2 was airing and i still remember it's bc i got a clip on tiktok of the "is that blackbeard?" "no, i'm blackbeard" scene which is SUCH a good fucking hook btw. and before watching it i kind of actually hated it LOL like people do with anything that's popular and Everywhere it just oversaturates sometimes. and it made me feel kind of silly to go back on my own opinion but i didn't even really dwell on that bc me getting into it also happened to coincide with a failed suicide attempt (that kind of funnily also included a gun that misfired like in-show lol). and like i was pretty understandably all over the place, but generally still in the "i want to live" moment that happens right after you nearly properly die. and the thing about suicide recovery is that you don't actually want to recover. so it was a really up and down left and right kind of situation and you're left feeling kind of like a puppet with no strings that's also been thrown into the ocean or something.

but then i liked this show that was funny and silly and i also got to see trans and gay people existing happily and normally which isn't necessarily NEW but it did feel really cool and unique to be able to go Oh and this is the moment where they would usually leave it to subtext and then they actually KISS and it's like woahhhh. i didn't know they could do that... and then as i was still processing what was happening with my own life and like mortality i got to see this character go through the exact same thing and come out on the other side of it ENTIRELY by himself and experience love and self determination and actualisation and i'm not saying it made me want to do it myself but it did feel like a really personal thing for me (hence anon also lol).

and for the few weeks it was coming out i got to sit there and think about how he was doing and it gave me another reason to not do something again. like i am so definitely not the only one who can say "this show saved my life" but honestly it literally did. like there's that thing when you're suicidal where the things that you're sticking around for are the only things you've got so they're as important as anything even if it's like... going to a concert the following week or something. or getting a burger. and i really honestly stuck around just to love this show and my cat.

it's been a few months now ofc and it still sucks and i'm not better or anything but being able to indulge in something fun for fun's sake is the biggest source of joy in my life and tbh it's not gonna go away just because there's going to be no season 3. when i'm feeling too much of particularly anything i have a handy little balm which i know everyone feels but still. a little gifset of ed always makes me feel better if i'm freaking out so it's cool i don't care if it's a bit lame. i'm a bit sad for season 3 and everyone being sad is also making me sadder but i still have a lot of love left so ah. it'll be fine :)

if anything i hope this inspires people to have a little boom in the numbers re: content now that we know there'll be no canon to possibly diverge from and we can make up our OWN season 3 ‼️ which will be fun :)

hi anon sorry i didn't reply to this yesterday i wanted to sit and think about what to say

and then i didn't really come up with anything lmao other than you're right and i love you and i love this show and it's so incredibly important to me and so groundbreaking in so many ways and has made me feel seen in a way that no other piece of media ever has. the queer rep is groundbreaking. the portrayal of ed's suicidality moved me beyond words. there are dozens of other people sharing stories about how ofmd helped them to come out or meet their partner or start transitioning or quit something that was making them unhappy. i watched s2 at a time while i was really struggling with post-covid symptoms. i've met so many incredible people through this fandom. i think about the show dozens of times a day. the show brought me so much joy and they can't take that away

they can't ever take away how special it was and how much it's changed people's lives

i'm very excited to see what the amazing fic writers in this fandom are going to give us in place of s3. i just wish we could've had the rest of the story david wanted to tell