#i may be slightly drunk so take my words with a grain of salt

[vendettasfanfictioning]

I need more fics framing The Rupture as something necessary for destiel—it hurt like a fucking bitch, sure, and it was a low blow for Dean to hit Cas exactly where he knows Cas hurt most (in being the problem or a burden), but also. Looking at it from Dean's perspective, it really did feel like a move that old, early-seasons Cas would do; withheld information, acted on his own, took risks that could cost others.

And when it all piled up? From Jack's soulless behaviors directly killing Mary, to the deal with Belphegor in hell costing them Rowena. Again, hard agree that it was one of the most painful lines dropped in the show (especially so if you remember that this is post-Empty deal), but context guys, context.

Plus, I believe this separation wasn't only long-time coming but also a pretty important addition because what is destiel if not a pair of stubborn idiots who can't communicate. That's not to say an argument is necessary to talk (it can be, in certain situations, sure) but they've been on different pages since Cas came back in S13.

The center of their disagreement seemed to mostly lie in their belief in Jack. I can't remember a time they really sat down and smoothed things out so much as they avoided talking about what happened during the Widower arc altogether, and that's when the wound really began to fester. (It didn't help that they had to deal with so many problems all at once; the Brits, Asmodeus, Apocalypse World, Lucifer, then AU Michael...)

Here is what we know that Cas believed (from the canon narrative): Jack formed a bond with Cas, even before he was born he somehow showed Cas a possible future; paradise. It's the same power, perhaps a protection mechanism with nephilim seeing as God labeled them as Abominations, that turned Kelly as well. What we know Cas saw (from the deleted scene/script): Cas' paradise consisted of everyone he loved, his family, being safe. This included Sam, Kelly, and Dean on a beach, with more focus on Dean as he tells Cas, "thank you."

From what we could see that Cas did not, Dean had enough resentment against Jack that wasn't going to magically go away overnight. Jack hadn't formed the same bond with Dean that he did with Cas.

What happened before Jack was born: Heaven and Hell both sought out Jack for their respective goals, an innocent woman was going to die from the sheer magnitude of giving birth to a Nephilim, and Cas left by what Dean assumed was delusions and manipulations. What happened when Jack was born: Mary fell into a portal to a different universe—a rift that only opened due to the anomaly and power of Jack's existence—Kelly died, and Cas got stabbed right in front of him.

And this isn't to discredit Dean's love for Jack, when he did allow himself to love him or see him as family, but you can love someone and still resent them or feel bad about them. Moreso during extreme circumstances, however unfair or illogical it may be. Again, did they ever really talk? Maybe my memory is failing me but I'm pretty certain they didn't, or at least never in great detail, or came to an agreement about it.

Dean and Cas... just had so much dirty laundry and Rupture made sure they aired it all out. But I think we, as a society, would benefit greatly from not framing Dean as the big bad villain here or Cas as some poor innocent bean. Supernatural's theme was never about brotherhood or family, it's about how shit could have been so much easier if they just communicated.

[h0neyjaehyun]

☁︎ 𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝐎𝐟 𝐒𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐥 ☁︎

Summary // Tali finally meets dream outside of training, in the first day of school.

Characters // Tali Flores + Haechan Lee + Jeno Lee + Mark Lee + Na Jaemin + Bang Chan ( ft. Allen, Song-ho, Karma )

Era / Year // August 2014

Word Count //

⚠️ Warning ⚠️ //mention of Drunk, and Slight suggestion of bullying

"TALIA WAKE UP!" Chan yelled knocking at her door vigorously.

"IM AWAKE IM ALMOST DONE CHRISTOPHER WAIT!" She yelled putting her notebook in her bag and going through the door. Her brother went out of town for a photoshoot and Chan was left to pick her up her brother not wanting her to go on the bus alone with a bunch of creeps.

"Im here im here lets go." She said grabbing Chans arm and dragging him out the door while Chan was trying to grab his sandwich he was making for himself.

"Okay okay." He said getting in the drivers seat, and Tali got in the other side. He drove them to school.

"So how is training going?" He asked while waiting for the red light to turn green

"Its going okay so far, I've made some friends." She said, looking out the window, she's only really made guy friends and can't really relate to the shopping and gossip the girls have but has made a couple. But she has had made friends in Jyp girls because of Chan like Sana, which she was glad. But mostly guys.

"Thats good, no one is picking on you right?" Chan said sensing something off.

"No, no one." She said, which was true but not? Many girls like Jaemin and Jeno and wanted Tali to stay away since there's not doubt she is pretty, so they would make side comments but nothing much so far.

"Yeah, in that case I'm going to visit and pick you up...." Chan then looked at her straight in the eye.

"Personally." He said in a monotone voice.

"Nooooo-"

"Yessss, Butterfly, I care for you, and want you safe. And I know how you are with telling me this stuff." He said parking, she smiled at the nickname she has picked up. He turned to her and huffed.

"And you may be good at lying...but not to me." He said ruffling her hair. She sighed.

"You are to good Christopher...to good." She continued while steping out the car.

"Yeah yeah go, I have an early class, see you later." He said running off, she shook her head at him while walking to the library to grab a book and go to the roof to read.

She went to the library smiling to the people she makes eye contact with. She got to the library but not before catching a familiar guy's eye. Tali walked down the isle looking at fantasy books, when she felt a tap on her shoulder, she turned around making eye contact with a cute boy with an eye smile.

"Oh- hi Jeno." She whispered, since it is a library. He giggled now realizing he is in a library.

"Hi Talia, how are you?" He smiled at her.

"Im doing good, but uh what brings you to the library? No offense its just...you don't seem like the reader." Shs said turning slightly looking over at the books still on her goal it grab a book.

"Well, you're not wrong totally wrong, but I saw you and I haven't seen you outside of training much so I thought we could start hanging out more?" He said scratching the back of his head. Tali smiled at him.

"Of course...wait are the other guys here?" She asked realizing he is probably not alone. He nodded and grabbed her hand about to take her to them.

"Ah wait-"

"Hm?"

She grabbed a book she like, jogged to the check out section with Jeno slowly following her, chuckling.

"Okay, now we can go." She said, he nodded and walked ahead of her and she followed with her book close to her chest.

They turned a corner to see Mark, Jaemin, Haechan hanging out on the window.

"Hey guys look who I found." Jeno said getting everyone's attention. Jaemin reacted first.

"HI Taliii." He said with a big smile on his face going for a hug which she recuperated.

"Hi Jaemin... Hi guys." She giggled.

"Hi Talia." The other two smiled at her.

"Your a first year right?" Mark asked. Talia nodded.

"Ah so you are with us, Haechan said bringing his arm around Jeno."

"What class do you have?" Jaemin asked.

"Mr.Gwon" She said looking at her phone.

"Oh nice I have Mr.Gwon too." Haechan said smiling at her.

"Thats good."

"Hey Tali do you want to have lunch with us?" Jaemin asked.

"Ah sorry I-"

"TALIIII" They turned to the loud voice to see couple quite popular students which are Allen, Karma, and Hyunjin. They were surprised at the calling of her name while she winced at the sound.

"Sorry, I'm gonna eat with a couple of friends, but how about tomorrow?" She asked trying to make a compromise.

"No yeah thats fine." Mark smiled at her .

"Ah ok-"

"TALI HURRY UP.!"

"IM GOING!" She smiled apologetically and ran to the group while waving bye at the boys.

"Hyung she knows them?" Jeno asked Mark, and Mark shrugged.

"Yeah she does." A voice said coming out of no where, they turned to see Daehwi. They smiled at him and he smiled back.

"How so?" Haechan asked, he knew those 3 were popular but how do they know Talia since she seems so reserved and doesn't have that much confidence to talk to people, how would she talk to the popular students.

"You know Aruem?" He asked them, they all nodded.

"Well thats Talia." All their eyes widen.

"Wait so you are telling me, Tali is Aruem...like the girl who can charm many guys without even trying?" Haechan asked in disbelief, yeah sure Talia was pretty but he didn't think Talia was popular, or the girl the students named Aruem. Aruem is like a Korean name that the males in the school picked for her since she is pretty.

Daehwi nodded.

"But I heard rumors that she was stuck up and stuff but then the guys are like she is such a sweetheart?" Mark said confused.

"No she is a sweetheart, its just some girls are jealous." Daehwi clarified. The made :0 faces, thinking it did make sense since they do see Tali helping people so why would she be stuck up.

Time pasted and it was now lunch time, they saw Tali walk over to some of the popular students with some older guys that messed up her hair.

"Hyung?" Mark looked at Haechan and hummed.

"Do you think we will be that close to Tali?" He asked in wonder. Marked looked at Tali then him.

"I hope so." After awhile they talked amongst themselves, while with Tali she excused herself wanting to talk to the boys so they know she does want to be friends and also to show Chan she has friends. She walked over and sat next to Mark, he looked at her with a surprise look.

"What? Is there something on my face?" She asked. He shook his head no.

"I just wasnt expecting you to come over since you are quite popular." He said with a matter a fact tone. She shook her head.

"I personally don't care if I'm popular, I'm only popular because of my looks I acknowledge that but doesn't mean I dont want to hang out with my friends." She said softly putting her head on her crossed arms on the table. Everyone in that table went soft for her since her cheeks were squished like a she was a little puppy.

"We are your friends?" Jaemin asked.

"Well, I hope so." Talis said with a little fear they didn'twant to be. Thats until they smiled with glee, she felt relief wash over her.

"Looks like Aruem over here made herself some friends." She froze at the voice and groaned.

Allen came up from behind and wrapped his arm around her shoulder looking at the boys observing. He came over because he just wanted to see if the boys wanted be her friends, or just because she is pretty since many guys do and want to take advantage of her kindness.

"Hello my name is Allen very nice to meet you guys, but I have to take this beauty away and pick up our friend from middle school." He said slowly dragging taking Talia to the exit, she waved bye at them smiling apologetically as they waved bye back.

"How can you be friends with her, oppa?" Heejin asked as she walked up to the boys with her four minions friends in the hallway. Heejin was always a bully and tried to bring Tali down since she was popular for her looks. The girl was jealous, but most people in the school / grade knew Tali as a sweet person, so they took what she said like a grain of salt.

"Who?" Jeno asked raising an eyebrow at her knowing her reputation.

"Talia, the girl who sat next to Mark oppa." She said, disarmingly sweet. Mark grimaced at the act.

"What do you mean by why we are friends with her?" Haechan asked, observing her and remembering what Daewhi said about girls being jealous.

"Well she is such a bitch outside of school, especially in practice room. She is so stuck up." She said with a matter of fact tone, but with a high pitched voice. Jaemin looked at her with a grimace face getting annoyed at her nice act.

"Really?" Mark asked knowing damn well thats not true since some girls that are not jealous of her and befriended her told the guys she is really shy and sweet.

"Yes, she always made rumors about me and-" was cut off when Chan and Song-ho turned the corner raise their eyebrows at them.

"Would you like to finish that?" Chan asked.

"Oppa, its not what it looks like I would never-"

"Shut up, please you always talk bad about her but most of the students that know her know its not true, and you are just telling them because they don't come to school a lot because of training and don't know her." Song-ho glared at her. She was speechless, embarrassment filled her. She made a fist and glared at Song-ho and walked away with her minions friends.

"Sorry you had to hear that." Chan said changing up his whole demeanor walking up to them.

"Its fine we know its not true." Haechan smiled at them.

"Good, Talia is a sweet girl, she likes to talk about you guys and how she hopes to be good friends." Song-ho said with a reassuring smile.

"Really?" Jaemin asked surprised.

"Yeah, but we gotta go, see yea." Chan said quickly looking at his phone, they walked away quickly. Song-ho looked at him weird.

"Aye,whats wrong?" He said worried.

"It's Talia's dad." He said getting in his car.

"He's drunk again."

[myinnersoul1412]

Hatori Novel Smexy scene 1

I'm not good at drawing, and I'm good at writing either so I hope this could somewhat serve at a present for fellow Domestica fans on Hatori’s birthday

Please note that it's translated by Google translate + a few more translator+ some common sense or interpretation so please take it with a grain of salt. I don't know Japanese beyond the basic characters but I'm just doing it because I love them so much

Even though the translation probably sucks, please don’t bring it anywhere since I spent a ton of time on it and just want to share.

Prior to this scene, Hatori and Yoshino were on a date at to collect materials for the manuscript. The setting is on Christmas’eve. They went to a Chinese restaurant to eat together, and while the food was good, Yoshino commented that Tori’s food was still better. During the meal, Hatori had to step outside for a work phone call because a newbie author (female, 2nd year college) wanted to ask his opinion on her storyboard.

Funny note: Hatori hated taking pictures but still posed as models for Yoshino to take pics anyway. 

Some touching lines:

Speaking of the real intention, it is not without thinking that this convenient dream will be awakened by the sudden impetus. The end may come someday, but I'm still going to enjoy this happiness. Even if this comes to an end some day, now that you have enjoyed all this happiness, even if you wake up from a dream, you will never forget it.

(If I say this to Yoshino, the him from way before would have been stunned **)

He secretly smiles at his self-ridicule. Of course, he wants to be with Yoshino his whole life.

As long as he’s allowed to be by his side, he’s not going to leave.It's just that that feeling and his wish for Yoshino's happiness are a little different. In the unlikely event that Hatori’s presence could be a burden or have a negative effect, he intends to behave accordingly. It is a commandment to himself.

This smexy scenes comes after their date. Enjoy!

Because this year progress is not desperate, there are no assistants coming in and out, and Yanase should be stuck at the seinenshi’s sensei place.(T/N: magazine for young men)

 “Well then. Don't stay up late today and go to bed early. Good luck with the manuscript tomorrow”  

“…………”

For some reason, Yoshino didn't try to step out, even though Hatori tried to see him off at the branch road to his home. On the contrary, he was pinching Hatori’s coat and holding it down.

“Yoshino?”

Yoshino’s cheeks that were looking down were slightly red. It didn't look like he was drunk, but could it be the afterglow of alcohol? 

“------You know. Normally, you wouldn’t go home on a day like this?”

“?”

 He didn't understand what Yoshino was saying, and the former had a perplexed face. In response to such a dull reaction from Hatori, Yoshino stamped his feet on the ground.

 “So! You're back from a date!”

 I looked(T/N: look, but with eyes wide open) at Yoshino who raised his voice frustratingly. I couldn’t hide the surprise that Yoshino also perceived today as a date.  

 “What’s with that face! Even though you can add embarrassing scenes to a plot, what do you mean you can't do it in real life……”

 Yoshino murmured the dissatisfying words. I rubbed my eyes to see if I was having a convenient dream, but it seemed to be reality.

 “I want to confirm, that is to say ---”

 “Read the mood in times like this!”

 He held his breath against Yoshino who glared at him with a red face.  

 (This is……is it okay to accept the invitation……?)

 In retrospect, today's Yoshino was somewhat strange from the beginning. I wondered if it might even snow, but I would be troubled if he got angry.  

 “Can I stay the night?”

 “………”

 When asked straight, Yoshino dyed red to his neck and nodded a little.  

Both of them were silent on their way to Yoshino’s room. Every step I took made me feel more nervous. My body temperature gradually rose, even though the cold night breeze was brushing my cheeks.

“Ah? Where did I put the key?”

 Yoshino panicked in front of the room. He was just looking at the pockets in his coat and trousers, and he seemed to be forgetting the bag on his shoulder.  

 “Is it there in your bag pocket?”

 “R-right”

 The fingers that opened the zipper were trembling. Yoshino, who had no sense of control, dropped the key. The sound of bumpy metal crashed into the hallway.

 “I'll open it”

 Hatori picked up the key and opened the front door. At that moment, Yoshino felt small and seemed to be holding his breath.  

 “Thank- thank you”

 Open the door and encourage Yoshino to enter first. Yoshino’s movement walking in front of me started to feel more jerky.  

 “Um, do you want something to drink?”

 The voice which asked the question was trembling too. Even though I was just nervous, it seemed like Yoshino's tension was infectious.  

 I guessed I should have gotten used to it, since we had already done it so many times, but I didn’t want to look so dismayed in front of the person I liked.

 “No”

 “Ah, then how about a shower?

 “……Ah”

 His pink nape caused the little amount of reason remaining in me to give away. I held Yoshino’s shoulders, turned him around, and strongly kissed him.

 “Nnn……?”

 Perhaps surprised by Hatori's brute force, Yoshino’s eyes were wide open. However, immediately, the body’s tension was released and his eyelids lowered.  Eating his lips and twisting his tongue, Yoshino put his hands on Hatori's back. As the kiss deepened, the more they clung into each other.(T/N: literal translation is “the stronger the clinging force became”)

 “Nnn,n,nn……”

Embracing Yoshino's body, which was gradually melting, I became absorbed and devoured his lips. Every time I entangled my tongue, I heard a wet sound. I teased his tongue which was trying to entangle awkwardly, and enjoyed the mouth that was hotter than usual. I wanted to continue more, but when I noticed Yoshino who seemed to be suffocating, I broke the kiss with the feeling that my back hair was getting pulled.  

“……Stupid, we're still in the hallway”

Yoshino complained while being out of breath. Hatori strongly pulled Yoshino’s waist, who was glaring up at him with flushed cheeks, and whispered into his ear.  

 “It’s your fault for stirring me up(t/n: to stir up, to incite, to agitate). And you were responding, too”

 “That, that was just conditioned reflex……”

 “Is that so?”

 “What do you want to say!”

 “I didn’t say anything”

 “There's something written all over your face”  

 It was a sulking look, but there was sweetness in the gaze (T/N: not very sure about this part). Towards Yoshino who showed a sullen face due to the embarrassment, sadistic desires were aroused.

 “What is written, can you tell me carefully?”

 “Eh?-----Uwa”

 Heading to the bedroom while holding the waist, they fell into the bed entangled together.

 “Oi Tori----------”

 Fueled by Yoshino's moist eyes, he kissed him again as if he was being sucked in. He repeated the devouring kisses and ran his hands over Yoshino's clothes. While sighing and moaning into the sealed kiss, I pinned down and felt around/groped the thin body. Rolling up the inner knitwear, I touched his bare skin.

 I managed to get rid of the coat, and I was frustrated by the difficulty of movement while loosening the belt, and realized that I had not even taken off my jacket yet.

 (I really can't afford it)

 Internally, Hatori laughed bitterly at his impatience. He roughly stripped off his coat and jacket, which normally would have been dutifully hung, and pulled out his tie.  

 “Hey, slow down a bit………”

 “I can't”

 “Then try harder!”

If you answered immediately, you would get a retort from Yoshino. When I stroked around the area where Yoshino’s ribs had previously floated, Yoshino stirred under Hatori. It was still a bit thin, but it had gained a lot of flesh after all my daily efforts.

 “I'm deeply moved/very emotional that I've come to be able to grab it”

 “Oi, hey, don’t rub it……!”

 When Hatori grabbed his side, Yoshino wriggled ticklishly.  

“Then, how about here?”  

“Hya—”

He moved his hand further up, gently stroked the tip of his chest with the pad of his thumb, and then crushed it, a shrill voice escaped Yoshino's lips.The ticklish Yoshino was sensitive here too. When stimulated, it easily hardened. 

“Ah, mmm, ouch, stupid, not so hard”

 “You like it when it hurts, don't you?”  

 When you pinched it, the body jumped.

 “Ahh, n,nnn……!”

 When I knead it with some strength, it reddened like a fruit, and Yoshino rubbed his knees together as if frustrated. It looked like his nipples weren’t the only things getting hard.  

 When I forcibly split his knees and pressed my leg against his groins, I felt a hard tantalizing touch.

 “Ugh.... ah, wait, ah, ah”

 Rubbing it with your thigh made it even more tense. Hatori pushed down Yoshino's pants, which had been loosened at the waist. His underwear had changed color at some parts.

 “You're already wet”

 When I told him the fact, Yoshino turned red to his ears.  

 “W-Well, I'm not the only one... ah”

 “Maybe so”  

 “Ah……!?”

 He ran his index finger over the elastic of Yoshino’s underwear and lightly pulled it down, revealing a taut member. Hatori traced up the warped underside and scooped the moistened tip with his fingertips.

 “Ahh, ah………”

 When I wrapped my fingers around the whole cock and rubbed it gently, Yoshino let out a sweet and seductive/mellow voice. His appearance when clutching the bedsheet and enduring the pleasure was lovely.

 (How cute/How lovely)  

 He was usually sloppy, and he was quick to whine, but at the root of Yoshino's character is a stubbornness that hated to lose. Once he had made a decision, no matter what, he was not going to change it.

 “Yoshino, take that off”

 “Get ready first, you idiot...”

 While rebuking Hatori, Yoshino reached into a drawer on the sideboard. He found what he was looking for, and embarrassed to present something that could be used on him, he carelessly pressed it against my chest.  

 “Thank you”

 The bottle of lotion and the box of contraceptives that he had ready were new. I wondered what kind of expression did Yoshino buy these things with.

Resisting the urge to pursue the answer, I took the content in the palm of my hand. Making sure to squeeze it and spread it all over my fingers, I wrapped around his excitement again.  

 “Hya……ah,ah……!”

 When I made it slimy up and down, Yoshino's moan became even sweeter. After making it feel as tight as it could be, I probed behind with my wet fingers.  

 “Mmm,mm”

Yoshino sighed when I forcibly pushed my fingertips into the tightly closed place. He didn’t realize that he was tightening his limbs, but I pushed my fingers deeper and deeper.

 “Ngh,nghh……”

 Yoshino clenched his teeth as he endured the sensation of being probed inside his body.  It was not originally designed to accept foreign substances, but he slowly got used to it as lotion was added several times along the way.  Every time I pulled my finger in and out, a lewd squelching sound was heard.  

 “Ah…ah,ah……mm”

Yoshino's hands wandered around on the bed looking for something to cling to. Eventually, he grabbed a pillow and pulled it over to bury his face in it. Realizing that he didn’t want to let out his voice, I moved my fingers even more.  

 “Ah, ah, ah……!”  

 With increased fingers, I pushed hard against the inner wall and Yoshino's body jumped like a fish on land. I could tell that he was getting pleasure from the melting moans/charming moans.  

 I already knew all of Yoshino’s sensitive spots. I couldn’t afford to tease him today. Just tortured severely the spots where he would surely react.  

 “No, not only there, ahhh, ah!”  

 Yoshino wasn’t negative/contradictory about getting pleasure, but when he felt too good, he suddenly got scared.  I could understand the uneasiness of feeling like I was no longer myself. But I had no intention of toning it down.(T/N: other possible meanings: keeping it moderate/mild)

 “Aahh, no, ah, ah----!?”  

 The root of the arousal that was about to burst was tightened and the i that would have been risen was suppressed. Yoshino, who was going to be released, stared at Hatori with an agitated expression/ in turmoil.  

 “W-why……”  

 “You can hold it a bit more right?”  

 If I made him come first on a tiring day, he often fell asleep immediately after that. As expected, it would be a problem if that were to happen today.  I was already painfully tense. It wouldn’t be easy to take care of it alone.  

 “You have to take responsibility for the invitation”

 “Ahh……”  

 As I pulled out the fingers that were probing inside, a sweet, trembling voice escaped. I had feared it might still be a little tight, but my patience had already reached the limit.  

 “Are you ready?”(T/N: “Is it okay?”)

 “……Do whatever you want”(T/N: ……Suit yourself”)  

 With Yoshino's permission, I pushed open his knees. I restlessly loosened my waist and pulled my excited self out from the underwear.  I quickly put on the condom and when I fit into the prepared spot, the body temperature and pulsation were transmitted vividly.

 “Ah------”  

 I pushed the tip in with a huff. Running out of patience, I shoved in mercilessly.  Although it was still narrow/tight as he thought, but it had already learned Hatori’s shape and accepted him without refusal.  

 I secretly let out a sigh from the pleasure of being wrapped in the soft mucous membrane.

 “Nghh……why……why is it so big……ngh”  

 Yoshino glared at me resentfully with teary eyes. This might be more of a whining rather than a complaint. I was embarrassed to be complained about the body’s physiological reaction. It wasn’t something that could be controlled by reason.  

 “Of course it's because I want you. There isn’t any guy who’s not excited about holding someone he loves”  

“Idiot ......ngh”

 It was unreasonable to be spit a verbal abuse at like that even though I answered his question. In a fit of anger, I forcefully pushed it to the root, and cloudy whiteness was scattered by the momentum/impetus/force.

 “Ahh……ngh”

 He seemed to have come just by stimulation at the back because he was made to endure it earlier. The bodily fluid overflowing from the explosion was scattered across the thin abdomen.

 “I didn't say that you could come first right?”

 “B-but……”

 I wiped the overflowing bodily fluids with my fingers and treat Yoshino's arousal as if to smear it. I rubbed it hard, and it got tighter there with Hatori inside.

 “Ahh, ah, no, I’m going to come again……”

 “That won’t do. It's better if we come together right?”

 “Yeah ... but ...ngh”

 “You can't hold it for me?”

 “Meany Tori……Uh, ah, ah, nghh, ngh!”  

 What Yoshino said not to do was the same as what he said he wanted you to do. The reaction inside changed depending on the intensity of the stimulus. As I was enjoying the change, I was complained to by Yoshino, who was on the verge of tears.

“No, idiot, don't play anymore……ngh”  

 “You want me to focus more here?”

 “Ahngh!?”  

 I gave a hard shove at the place where our bodies connected.  

 “No, ahhh, ah, ah……ngh”

 I put myself into the root and shook up our connected bodies. Every time I sent my hips in, Yoshino's body jolted and trembled. I grabbed Yoshino's waist and held him up, bending his back heavily, and stirred his lotion-soaked wet insides mercilessly.

 “Ahhngh, ahh, no……ngh”  

While greedily gouging out the tangled mucous membranes, I drilled into the back again and again. When I sent my hip into the right place, Yoshino gasped as if to cry. That voice and expression further fueled Hatori. Hatori threw off his self-control and thrust up Yoshino in his lust.

 “Agh,ahh,ahhng,aah!”  

 At first, Yoshino was at my mercy, but gradually he started to move. It was unintentional, and probably unconscious. It was a pleasure that flew off all reasons, and he was trying to get more of it. Even if it was an act of instinct, it didn’t change what the expectation was.

 What Yoshino wanted, I just gave him exactly that

 (--------I’m really sly/cunning)  

 Every time I hold Yoshino like this, I felt indescribable elation and guilt.

All Yoshino must have had for Hatori, until the later revealed his hidden lust, were the feelings of comfort, friendship, and trust of a childhood friend. There might have been some sort of monopoly, but it probably wasn't that of love. I dragged Yoshino to this side, imposed my not-so-pretty desires on him, and instilled lust.

Even if Yoshino had had such experience, it was with the opposite sex and he was not in the receiving position. As a man, there must have been some confusion for him. Nevertheless, it was thanks to his generosity that he had accepted the position of being embraced on the receiving end.

He might not be aware of it himself, but Yoshino was the one who had the gut when the time came. Hatori's prudence was a mask to hide his mean, negative and cowardly self.

 “Ah! Not there, no, aghn, ah, aghn!”

 "Can't you say anything other than denial once in a while?"

 “Sh-shut up…..nghh”

 When I pointed out his lack of vocabulary, he glared at me with moist eyes. He usually had a face that didn’t seem to have anything to do with sexual things. But when he was embraced, he had such a face, so I couldn’t stand it. As I repeatedly thrust into the back, the connected part became loose. At that moment, I pulled myself out as much as I could and pushed it in.

 “Aaahhh……ngh”

With each extraction, the voice that spilled out became sweeter and sweeter. As I continued to gouge out the tightly-clung inner walls, Yoshino's face became distorted with pleasure.

 “You like it here right?”

“Yes, it feels good……nghh”  (T/N: Alternative: I like it. It feels good)

The reason why I deliberately asked the question when reason had failed was because I could hear an honest answer now.

 “Here?”  

 “Ughahh, ah,ah, ah….ngh”

 Yoshino, who was writhing and gasping, was driven even harder. When he squirmed and swayed, the thin body slid up on the bed.  

 “No, nghh, agnh, ah, ah……!”

Vigorously pulling his hips closer and thrusting even deeper. Yoshino also tangled his legs around Hatori's waist and clung to his back.  His lips came close to mine as if a pleading from Yoshino. Biting and kissing, I devoured on the impulse/urge.

 “Nn,n,n,nn……ngh”

 As I rocked my hips with our bodies close together, Yoshino's erection, which was overflowing with semen, rubbed against my abdomen. It seemed that the limit was already in sight.

When I parted my lips, there was a face right there that looked like it was about to burst into tears.

 “Tori……ngh, already, I’m coming, please……nghh”

In the blink of an eye, a single tear fell from Yoshino's eyes. I thought I'd tease him more, but I changed my mind on that expression.

“I know”

 Immediately, I increased the pace and caught up with Yoshino.  

 “Ahh, ahh, ah……ngh”  

 “-------Chiaki”

 “AH-----!?”

After an intense urging, they came almost simultaneously. Yoshino's lower abdomen quivered intermittently, overflowing with white turbidity.

 “Ah, nn……ngh”

 Then, after Hatori poured all the proof of his desire into Yoshino, he also pulled himself out. We remained silent, waiting for the heat to recede from our bodies. As I closed my eyes and surrendered to the pleasant exhaustion, Yoshino opened his mouth with rough breathing.

“……I've been meaning to tell you this for a while”

“Hm?”

“It’s foul play to call my name like that!”

Yoshino caught his breath, then paused, and grudgingly complained in Hatori's ear.

Personal notes: Hatori’s monologue is so sad omgg...the scene is like both sexy and hurt at the same time...what a writer

[hppyeo]

 jung wooyoung — romance — 2k+ words song of choice: broken — lovelytheband broken (adj) \ˈbrō-kən\: shattered, damaged; made weak. ex.: Wooyoung was broken, but so was Y/N.  (credit to owner/creator of gif) 

   Attending this frat party really wasn’t your idea. You’d much rather be at home in your pajamas cramming for your upcoming finals; an activity your friend—and dorm mate—was not having that evening, going on about how you needed to “let loose” and “have some fun”. Yet here you were, standing in the bathroom staring at yourself in the mirror since you had been abandoned by said friend twenty minutes after walking through the door. Her excuse, “They’re my drinking besties!”. It also wasn’t helping your mind that you knew your ex was here, being that this was the very fraternity he was apart of. Obviously, you knew it would be impossible to not see him, but you just weren’t ready to deal with it. Not after all that happened.

   You heard rapid knocks on the bathroom door and someone muttering about how long you’ve been hogging it. You sighed before fixing your hair and straightening your dress out. Your friend had also told you to dress out of your comfort zone, or “slutty” as she so eloquently stated. You took advice with a grain of salt and decided on a simple dress; above the knee, spaghetti-strapped and in the most beautiful shade of red you’d ever seen. It complimented you well. Part of you wondered if you had picked it in hopes that your ex would spot you, fall back in love with you, and the two of you would live happily ever after. You couldn’t help but scoff at yourself and roll your eyes at your reflection in the mirror.

   Another pair of knocks sounded, ripping you from your thoughts yet again. You left the bathroom quickly, mumbling an apology to the boy who barged in once your figure cleared the door frame. You stopped in your tracks as your eyes locked with a pair of soft brown ones, glossed over and slightly red from the partying activities. Suddenly feeling embarrassed, you sent him a small smile and wandered back off into the party. You glanced back over your shoulder as you furthered yourself into the crowd, only to lose those eyes in the sea of college students.

   You checked your phone, it was now a little past midnight and you couldn’t believe how slow time was going. You hadn’t seen your friend since sometime around 11:30 and you were becoming a little upset. How could she bring you to this party only to ditch you and not even bother to check up on you? You leaned against the kitchen counter, red solo cup in hand, taking small sips of whatever alcohol you had as you busied yourself on Instagram. You figured even if you weren’t having fun, you may as well get drunk, right?

   It wasn’t long before you felt a presence beside you. You drew your eyes from your feed and looked up from your phone, recognizing those brown eyes from earlier. Your heart sped up a bit and took another sip of your drink. 

   “Not much of a partier?” His voice wasn’t what you were expecting based on his appearance. He was dressed in mostly black; his jeans had rips at the knees paired with a plain black button-up shirt—which he had left the top few undone. You weren’t sure what you were expecting, maybe a deeper, huskier voice? Or perhaps a more nasally one? You shook your head, mostly to clear your head of such stupid comments but also to answer his question.

   “No, not really,” you chuckled a bit and he smiled along. 

   “Hey, I don’t blame you. They’re not really my thing either.” He agreed, taking a sip from his cup.

   “Then why did you come?” 

   “Uh, since I live here I’m kind of forced to.”

   You were surprised by this, he held himself different than the other guys in the fraternity. Since your ex was one of the head douchebags of the frat, you ended up around a handful of the other guys quite a bit. They seemed to be the opposite of the one standing before you. They definitely would never be able to dress as well as brown eyes, that you knew for sure.

   “Jeez, I’m sorry to hear that.” This caused him to laugh out loud.

   “Why’s that?” He questioned, his laugh still lingering on his tone.

   “You have to deal with the rest of the guys here.” You looked around the room, spotting a few of the frat guys standing in the kitchen; some taking shots and the others cheering those who are on. 

   You heard brown eyes speak but your brain couldn’t make out his words as your full attention was taken away by something else.. or someone else. Your eyes locked with the man that caused you so much pain. Across the room, shooting as many shots as he could, was none other than your ex. He definitely was known for the amount of liquor he could slam down, and why wouldn’t he be showing that skill off? It wasn’t until after he slammed the shot glass down on the counter, did the typical high five and cheer with his buddies, that his eyes met yours. You felt yourself shrink, regretting coming to this party. 

   “Ah, don’t tell me, you’ve got eyes on San over there don’t you?” This question caught your attention and you were whipping your head back towards the man in front of you. 

   “No,” there was a tinge of anger in your voice that he could detect, “No, I don’t.” You downed the rest of the liquid in your cup. “Um, I’m gonna go, uh, dance?” It was obvious you were unsure of yourself, but you couldn’t focus on anything other than your ex. You threw your cup into the trashcan and moved towards the living room, unaware of the lingering eyes of your ex and the boy you left following you.

   A few more drinks and your favorite song had you completely out of your usual comfort zone. You took your friend’s advice, finally, and decided to do what she said. You let the music—and alcohol—take control of your body. You didn’t care anymore about how you were feeling before, you only cared about enjoying the music and letting loose. Suddenly, you had two hands grip onto your hips firmly and at first, you didn’t think about it until you felt a body press against your back and that voice whisper into your ear. 

   “Wow, can’t say I’ve ever seen you like this, Y/N.” His voice rang throughout your head and you stopped your movements abruptly. “Don’t let me stop you from having fun.” He continued on, his breath reeking of the liquor from earlier. You knew him though, despite his breath smelling like that of a drunken college student, you knew he wasn’t. If anything, he was a bit tipsy. He knew who you were and he knew what he was doing. He was playing the game he always played to get you back into his arms. Thankfully, the liquor in your body helped you realize this.

   You pushed his hands off of your hips and turned to face him. “San, just stop, okay?” You opened your mouth to continue but choose not to and instead headed away from him. He grabbed your hand quickly, pulling you back to him a bit. He kept his distance but held your hand firmly. 

   “Y/N, c’mon—” you yanked your hand from his and held both up in front of him. He paused, watching as you scanned his face. You weren’t sure if you were looking for maybe a real sign of regret, sadness, anything. You shook your head and dropped your hands, turning away from him and leaving the room. 

   You made your way to the back patio, the slight breeze causing you too shiver as you stepped outside. You were in awe of the lights set up outside as well as the ones floating in the pool. You were surprised at how many partiers were outside as well, dancing and swaying along to the music as it drifted out of the opened windows. You settled down into one of the patio chairs, letting yourself mold into the seat while resting your chin on your palm. You fidgeted with the bottom of your dress while you faintly listened to the conversations happening around you.

   “So, not into San, huh?” You heard the familiar voice from earlier say from behind you. You only glanced up at him, seeing his small smirk and just shook your head while a huff escaped you as he handed you a red cup. 

  “Like I said earlier, not one bit.” You then took a swing from the cup, the liquor burning your throat. The tension in your voice did not go unnoticed nor did the way your body tensed up at the mentioning of San.

   The two of you sat in silence for a few moments before he spoke again, “I’m Wooyoung, by the way.”

   “Y/N.” 

   “Well, Y/N, I can tell that your night seemed as if it was slightly upturned. Mind if I help fix that?” You smiled at his sudden urge to want to cheer you up. You simply nodded your head and he stretched out his hand. You took it with caution, unsure of what he had in mind, but before you could change your mind he was yanking you up out of your chair. 

   “You seem like you like to dance.” He shot you a smile from over his shoulder as he lead you closer towards the doors, the music gaining volume as you neared. “So why don’t we dance?” He turned and faced your suddenly and began to move along with the beat. You felt your cheeks heat up as you felt slightly embarrassed, but you didn’t know if it was because he wanted you to dance or if it was his confession of watching you dance earlier.

   You watched as he let his body flow along with the music, not caring one bit about who was watching. It took you a few seconds to gain confidence, but only because you shot back the rest of your drink and began to dance with him. You let the music take over once again and before you knew it, the two of you were dancing rather closely. You could tell he wanted to close the gap, his hand brushed past your hip several times. You figured maybe the alcohol hadn’t given him enough confidence, but it sure was giving you some. You took his wrist and guided his hand to your hip, pulling your bodies together. It was obvious your move had shocked him a bit, but it didn’t take Wooyoung long before both his hands were on your hips and the two of you got lost in the music together. 

   A sudden rush of happiness overcame you and you couldn’t help but grin ear to ear. It had been awhile since you genuinely felt happy and let yourself have a good time, but alas, it did not last long. You heard a lot of yelling, mostly drunken cheers, but didn’t pay mind to it, that was, until the guy doing the drunken yelling body slammed into both Wooyoung and yourself. He sent all three of you into the pool, causing a huge splash and drawing the attention of the other partygoers. 

   You surfaced up, pushing your hair out of your face and your dress down as it floated to the surface of the pool with you. You felt your face heart up a bit at the sight of all the college students crowded around the pool, laughing and pointing at the three of you, You looked over at the two boys, who were already in an argument, Wooyoung being the one to do most of the arguing. 

   “What the fuck dude?!” He shouted. 

   The other guy just laughed at him, “Chill, ‘young. You can’t be that scared of getting your hair wet.” Wooyoung rolled his eyes and flipped the other boy off. 

   You felt uncomfortable, embarrassed mostly. Your eyes found the ladder on the edge of the pool and poorly swam over to it. Your dress now clung to your body as you emerged from the cool water, a breeze caused goosebumps to form over your skin. You heard motion from the water behind you, signaling the two boys were climbing out from the pool as well. You searched the crowd for your roommate, unable to find her. You weren’t sure if you were happy that she may of missed the whole thing, or sad that she hadn’t come to comfort you after such an embarrassing event.

   “I’ll grab you a towel-“ Wooyoung said from behind you but was cut off quickly. 

    “Here,” You looked up and felt a sudden rush of nerves shoot through your body. San was standing before you, holding out a towel for you. You locked eyes for a moment, noticing how his were filled with.. concern? You reached out for the towel, but Wooyoung had beat you to it. 

   “Thanks..” He mumbled, taking it from San and wrapping it around your shoulders. You gave him a small smile and whispered a thank you. You glanced up at San but his eyes were glue to Wooyoung. “Can I take you to your dorm?” Wooyoung asked. You noticed how San tensed up at his offer, was he, jealous? No way.

   You shook your head, “Um, I’ll be fine, but thank you, Wooyoung. I’ll just find my roommate and head out.” You smiled at him once against and squeezed past the two boys. 

   You didn’t even bother finding your roommate, you just wanted to get out of there as fast as possible and home to the comfort of your dorm room. As you walked down the pathway, the music fading out from behind you, you felt tears start to build up in your eyes. You quickly wiped your eyes and shook your head, not wanting yourself to cry over something so stupid. 

   You were about a block away from the fraternity house when you heard footsteps quickly approaching you. “Hey!” You stopped abruptly, listening as the caught up to you. “Hey, are you okay?”

   You turned around and felt a bit of relief. You nodded your head, “Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

   “Let me walk your to your dorm, yeah? You don’t need to be walking this late all by yourself.”

   You chuckled to yourself and thought for a moment, “Yeah, okay.”

[rosaetae]

the chrysanthemum effect | 8.5

[this chapter is apart of the chrysanthemum effect]

☇ “Keeping your flowers, keeping your pain— it’s already everything you need to move on. How do you move on from things if you’re not willing to accept them?“

➣  pairing: taehyung x reader / jungkook x minji 

➣  genre: hanahaki!au, model!taehyung, weddingplanner(ish)!au  

➣  word count: 2.3k

➣  a/n: hi all! this chapter is mainly focused on jungkook’s relationship with minji being why it’s a half chapter. if you love mj x jk x annie’s storyline, then go ahead and read, but if not, i still encourage you to read their storyline lol but if ur here for kth and reader content then read the section after the last divider :) 

➣  summary: the hanahaki disease has become a stigma in this world where if you had it, you are looked down upon. her flowers were white chrysanthemums and they have been for the past two years. she was in love with someone who obviously didn’t feel the same way, and this was her way of moving on— along with the people in her life who had to conform around the hanahaki disease.

Jungkook's favorite talk with Minji had to be a topic that revolved around cheese, spoken by true crackheads at the break of dawn. Minji asked about it first, wondering why there was so much cheese in the world and why there's so many different varieties and ended up, in her tired but marveled voice, making up a scenario in which two cheeses would make a new type of cheese.

It was these type of talks he had with the girl he loved so much that he grew comfortable and content all at once.

So, to walk up to Minji knowing that he is a complete stranger in her eyes and had no recognition of who he was or those early morning talks about the most frivolous things in the world was the most painful and hardest thing he had to do. Each step he took was like treading in quick sand or stepping on glass.

The person he was most comfortable and content with was a foreign soul who has yet to know he exists.

He notices as he was walking closer to her that she was looking at blue dresses.

Just as he was about to back out out of fear with his sweaty palms and racing heartbeat, Minji raises her head and their eyes lock.

In that instant, Jungkook never wanted to leave a situation so much before. Even when he couldn't hit a note in front of a thousand people on stage, that embarrassment was beyond an understatement of how he felt in that moment, eyes locking with the one person he's never resonated so much with before.

"Hello," Jungkook finally chokes out.

Minji's eyes switch from startled demeanor to a friendly, yet alarmed smile tainting her lips. "Hi," she speaks. "Can I help you?"

Jungkook realizes he didn't really think about what he would say to her. Usually he'd wrap his arms around her shoulders and surprise her, cover her eyes with his hands and whisper in her ear, sometimes scare her to gain her light yelps.

He opens his mouth before he closes it, wheels turning.

"Wait," she begins, blinking once or twice. "Jungkook?"

The feeling Jungkook felt once he heard his name roll off her tongue made him freeze. It was familiar, but foreign at the same time.

"You're joking with me. You're Jeon Jungkook, right?" She says with a growing smile. "I love your songs."

The realization hits him too fast that the feeling of that hopeful wishing plummeted so far down. The friendly look on his face must have dropped as he saw her eyebrows knit together.

"Sorry, am I dumb or you're just a really good look-a-like?"  

"No," he feigns a smile. "You were right the first time."

Her eyes bulge, the pretty hues that twinkled with stars popping out. "Well," she says with a grin. "What do I have to offer for getting the Jeon Jungkook to approach me?"

He blinks. "We met at a party, but you were probably too drunk to remember me."

And just then, Minji immediately grows red, bringing her hands to cover her face. "No," she pouts. "What party?"

Jungkook, knowing her and her close friends, chooses the name Yuna, one of Minji's greatest friends. Minji, hearing the name, begins to her hide her mortified face of embarrassment.

"I'm sorry," she says, voice muffled behind her palms. "You would think that I would remember if I met one of the greatest singers at a party, but if it's any luck, you look familiar?" She tries, only to cause both of them to let out a laugh. "I'm sorry. You saw me at my worst if I can't even remember you."

That makes him wince internally, knowing that he saw her at much worst and he was there for her.

And not be there at her best? Because she doesn't remember him?

"It's alright. It's nice to meet you again."

And he means that with the greatest genuineness he can elicit.

The look in her eyes when she smiles warms him nostalgically. "Yeah," she nervously giggles. "You too. Sorry you had to see drunk me. I can't even remember who I meet when I'm under the influence."

Jungkook chuckles lightheartedly. "It's alright. I was just looking for tuxes and I just saw you and... thought I'd come and say hi— see how you were doing. Obviously, better than that night."

"Oh. Oh," she stutters. "I'm doing fine, yeah... just shopping for dresses."

"Not to be nosy, but can I ask for what?"

"I have a community art showcase this Friday," she smiles proudly before she lightly gasps. "You should come! The more the merrier."

"Yeah?" He asks, taken aback by the sudden invitation.

"Yeah, of course! Unless you're busy and have something else planned, I totally get it," she nods. "You're Jeon Jungkook, you probably have a lot on your plate—"

"No, I don't," Jungkook says a bit too fast. Seeing that Minji is taken aback by his quick response, Jungkook clears his throat. "I mean... I would love to go."

"Great," Minji grins. "It'd be nice to have you there! Unless you plan to ruin it then I revoke my invitation."

"Wouldn't dream of it. Pretty sure Finn Museum is already pretty strict with who comes in and out."

"Oh?" She stumbles back. "You already know where it's at?"

Blinking in realization that Minji never once stated the venue in this conversation, he curses himself, letting out a nervous chuckle. She had her eyebrows furrowed and he can feel himself growing weary. It was an event that Minji always talked about with him— he saved the date in his brain the minute she told him it was official.

Minji was checking her e-mail while Jungkook went home early to make dinner for both of them. Jungkook remembers her scream that startled him so much that he dropped the ladle to the floor. And before he could get mad about getting scared, Minji was already in tears and running over to hug him.

They approved my art, she cried. My art is going to be showcased!

Jungkook, knowing how hard she worked for herself to get where she is now, forgot about the ladle on the floor and the soup he was boiling on the stove as he hugged her tightly and told her how proud he truly was for her. And the minute he was told about the date, he never forgot about it.

"I heard that Finn Museum is holding a 50th anniversary showcase on Friday," Jungkook covered. "I just assumed you were apart of that?"

Her lips make an 'o'. "Oh, yeah! That one."

"Then I'll be sure to be there. What time?"

"8 in the evening," she answers. "Just say my name at front and they'll let you in. Or you could honestly say your name and they'll let you in."

Jungkook, hearing the laugh that elicits from your mouth, smiles. "Wouldn't want to miss it for the world."

"Good," she laughs. "Okay, well, it was nice to meet you again, Jungkook. I guess I'll see you again on Friday?"

"Friday," he nods. "See you."

He may not be with her by her side as she achieves her best, but at least— and he takes this with a grain of salt— he gets to witness her at her best.

"How was it?" You finally ask when you meet him outside of the store, finding a seat outside one of the coffee shops. There's a smile on his face that makes you feel slightly satisfied. "You also owe me this much."

Taking the receipt from your hands, he stands in front of you. "How do you know?"

Looking up from the bags you were carrying, you purse your lips together as he stares down at you, instinctively being courteous and grabbing at the bags from you as he awaits your answer.

There was a momentary pause where you couldn't really begin as to how you know because in your head, it really was complicated.

"You had to choose between Minji and Annie, huh?"

Jungkook doesn't respond. Instead, he watches you, eyes filled with little to no expression, resulting to you to continue.

"I understand now why you did what you did. For awhile, I didn't. Mainly because I met Minji first at a club throwing up blue poppies in the toilet before I met you and Annie. And then when I met you, I was planning your wedding to a girl who loves blue poppies just as much as Minji does."

He stays silent.

"Then I went dress shopping with Annie and her dad. At first it was hard for me not to think of Annie as the sole reason for Minji facing unrequited love, but her father told me that you saved her life."

"I didn't do anything," he speaks up, but you shook your head.

"Yes, you did," you nudge him. "And it must have been a hard decision. You know, having to choose."

"It wasn't me who chose," he says. "Minji. It was Minji who chose for me."

You look up at him, arching an eyebrow.

"She knew it was going to happen," Jungkook explains. "Already suffering with the fact that we had to keep everything private and be super careful and fear every single thing we do, she knew that I would eventually fall for Annie, as well."

"And you did."

"I did," he says. "I didn't mean to, but I did."

Shrugging, you purse your lips. "You can't help with who you fall in love with."

"Yeah, isn't that the truth," he scoffs, swiping a thumb against his nose. "Minji came to me and told me it was okay to leave her. Maybe I was selfish, but I told her not to leave, but she knew I couldn't have them both. I warned her— god, I warned that she would get Hanahaki, but she still did it.

"She told me that it was alright— be with who you love and make it no secret, she said.... That I could leave her because she said that Annie doesn't deserve to suffer either. And she left. She cut me off, went off grid for awhile, and I guess she went through with the surgery."

Your heart, truly and empathetically, hurt for him.

"That was the first time I met her ever since she cut me off awhile ago. You know how hard it was to see her and recognize her in an instant but in her eyes she doesn't know who the hell I am?"

Admittedly, that was what scared you about the surgery. Knowing someone who has loved you and forgetting about them? But his stance was frustration and anger that he couldn't let out to the one person he needed to say it to. Now that person has no recollection of him.

He lets out a half-hearted laugh. "When I talked to her, she invited me to her showcase. What she didn't know was that she invited me to that back before this whole thing happened."

"At least you got invited," you suggest, but he looks at you. Rolling your eyes at him, you nudge him. "Listen, she may have lost memories of you, but realize that you can start new ones. She did all of that because she loves you, you know. She wants you to be happy with someone you love and someone that loves you."

"Is that how you feel with Taehyung?"

You look at him. "If you truly love someone, you'd want them to be happy."

Jungkook lets out a sigh. "It's hard because I do love her. Annie— she's... she is someone I wouldn't trade for the world, but I'll always love Minji from the bottom of my heart."

"You always will," you reach up to pat his shoulder, an encouraging smile on your face. "And that's ok."  

"Hey," you smile at Taehyung, interlocking your arm with his when you see him standing outside your complex. At first he was taken aback by your sudden affection (even you were) but seeing that he wasn't opposed to it, you both walked to Planetarium while you clung onto his arm.

"You seem oddly happy," he notices and you laugh.

"I can't be happy that you're back?" You taunt, removing your arm from his.

"Don't do that," he says before he's taking your hand back, placing it where it was before. It makes your stomach flip. "I'm happy that I'm back, too."

"Good, you messed up my sleeping schedule just to tell me you miss me."

To that, he chuckles. "My apologies. I just wanted to express how much I missed you, but it seems like sleep is your priority."

"You were gone for like, two days."

"Two days away from you is too long," he says and truthfully, your mind is in a frenzy.

If two days from you was too long, why was he gone for two years?

"I feel like I've finally reached an understanding," you say randomly and he looks down at you with confusion before you let out a sigh. "I can see why it was complicated," you trace off, implying that he was right— sort of. "With Jungkook and Minji and Annie and all of that."

"Do you now?"

You nudge him a little, a smirk growing on his lips.

"Yeah," you narrow your eyes at him. "He had to choose between Annie and Minji," you say. "But Minji had to choose for him."

"He told you?"

"It kind of all clicked," you respond with a smile.

He lets out a light scoff, his warm breath evident against the cold and crisp air.

"I've known Minji for awhile," he says. "If there was anything I knew from her is that she would do anything for him to be happy. Even if it was to let him go when he couldn't."

"See, I think it's quite sad," you say truthfully as he nods. "Like a Shakespearian tragedy."

"How so?"

"Not everyone had a happy ending."

"I beg to differ," Taehyung says and you look up at him. "Their ending isn't just ideal."

"Do you think everyone can have a happy ending?"

He shrugs, eyes straight forward. "Depends. Do you think we have a chance at a happy ending?"

You stare straight ahead before you shrug, copying him.

"Everyone deserves one, but not everyone gets one."

[chasseurdeloup-retired]

Defying Gravity || Jane and Kaden

TIMING: Before Regan dun got shrunk LOCATION: The Carnival PARTIES: @jane-the-zombie and @chasseurdeloup SUMMARY: Jane takes Kaden on his first roller coaster

There was no reason for Kaden to step foot in this cursed carnival ever again. Not after last time. But something about Wu’s proposal was hard to resist. Maybe it was just curiosity. Or maybe he was tired of feeling like he was always missing out. It hardly mattered one way or another why he was here. Because he was fucking here. Standing at the entrance, waiting for his pre-zombie co-worker. Trying not to show how much he was shaking ever so slightly at the thought. “You sure this isn’t going to kill me, Wu? I’m not going to get a round two, you know.” It was easy enough to joke about it now. It didn’t feel like a real problem. Not yet. “Granted I guess we haven’t heard an ear piercing scream anywhere so I suppose you may be right.”

“Langley, if this rollercoaster kills you, you have full permission to haunt my sorry ass for the rest of my days,” Jane said, shoving her hands into the pockets of her jeans. Kaden was funny in the kind of french-guy-having-a-stick-up-his-ass kind of way, but she knew the both of them needed to blow off steam after having the banshee scream for them. She was, admittedly, more disturbed than she originally anticipated. She remembered staring at the bomb, watching the seconds tick away, just rooted to the spot. If Felix hadn’t interrupted her and let her know he was in the line of fire, Jane was certain she would have just stayed there. “And the next time she screams anywhere near my ears, I’m sending both of you the bill for when I get my ears checked, I swear to god.” She grinned at him. “C’mon, I still can’t believe you never rode a roller coaster before. That’s insane to me.”

“If I become a ghost I have bigger fucking problems than you, trust me.” Kaden rubbed his palms together, trying to wipe away the sweat as they made their way towards the roller coaster. The even interludes between screaming was a little eerie. Did no one else find it eerie? Maybe it was the whole dating a banshee thing but he wasn’t sure. Looking at the coaster it kind of looked like a death trap.”Yeah well too many people die in this town to guarantee that won’t happen again.” Which meant he had plenty of chances to worry himself drunk in the near future. Still, couldn’t help but roll his eyes at Wu’s comment. “Well I grew up in a different continent for one,” Kaden snipped at her. That wasn’t exactly an excuse. Not for a roller coaster. A state fair? Sure. Amusement parks and thrill rides? Not so much. “I don’t know, my parents weren’t big on this kind of stuff. Couldn’t really afford it.” Which was partially true but not the whole picture. “We just never had time.” Never made time. “And when I got older I don’t know, this never really called my name, I guess.”

“Everyone keeps telling me that, and yet my possessed stepstool is fine when it’s trapped in a cage in the middle of a salt circle with a couple cinder blocks on top of it and, you know, not trying to kill me. Almost pleasant, even,” Jane said. She was joking. She had to get rid of that damned step stool at some point. Jane snorted as Kaden immediately turned defensive, shaking her head. “Cool it Langley, I’m just giving you a hard time. I’m sure this one will give you exactly what you need, I’ve seen some stuff online about it.” Jane grabbed a spot in the relatively short line for the coaster. She looked up at it - it was pretty gnarly for a little carnival one. With loop-de-loops and a pretty significant drop and sharp turns and corners… Pretty cool, and exciting. It wasn’t necessarily as adrenaline inducing as some of the other activities she did on a daily basis, but it would do for now. “My dad used to take us when we were all younger,” Jane said, glancing at him. “Except he and my older brother didn’t like them, so I got to take my younger sister up with me alone while they went to go do the arcade or the shooting gallery games.” They moved forward in the line, and Jane grinned. Good. They were next.

“You still have that thing? Putain, get rid of it already.” Kaden couldn’t say much of anything. He still had that pixie at his place that he didn’t know what to do with. Guess he couldn’t say much. He let out a sigh. Being defensive was stupid, especially with Wu who was so easy going for the most part. Well guess she’d have to be if she found out zombies and werewolves existed and just rolled with it. He could feel his pulse picking up the closer they got to the front. Was there anyone behind them? He could tell them to go in front of them, look polite or some shit. No one? Putain. “You and your sister, huh? Guess they’re uh, they’re meant to be fun, right?” Why did he feel like he was going to jump out of his skin? He could fight a werewolf on a full moon and keep his nerves in check, but the thought of getting on that death trap scared the shit out of him. “Oh yeah, did the shooting gallery here. Won it. Got a stupid fucking prize. Mime plush. With wings. The lady running it was a piece of work.” Shit it was their turn now. He could feel himself shaking a little as they got into their seats. Front row. Of fucking course.

“I’m working on it,” Jane waved it off. She actually wasn’t working on it, and she wasn’t too concerned about it at this point. So long as she sprinkled the salt around the cage as a refresher every once in a while, French Fry was fine, if a little agitated. “I think they’re fun,” Jane said, with a shrug. “But I also jump out of planes and off cliffs for fun too, so take that with a grain of salt.” Jane grinned at Kaden as they were lead to their front row seats. Excellent. She got into the car, put the seatbelt in lightly, and let the bar lower down over their heads. She glanced over at Kaden, and for a moment, she felt a little sympathetic towards him. At least until the ride started moving and she felt her own adrenaline start pounding in her ears. “Relax,” Jane said, “It’s going to be just fine. When we go down, do no hands, it’s fun!” Jane encouraged him. Except right when they got to the top of the hill, getting ready to go down, they dropped backwards first at full speed.

“You what?!” Kaden didn’t exactly consider himself an overly cautious person. Hell, he threw himself into all kinds of near death situations. He liked a good adrenaline rush on a hunt. But those had a good reason behind them. They weren’t manufactured. And he trained for those. And if he never had to hunt again because all the supernatural problems went away tomorrow, he wouldn’t be mad about it. More importantly, they were on the ground. His knuckles went white as he gripped the bar around him. He’d put it on so tight he could feel his chest constricted a little. Which was fucking fine by him. “No hands? No-- You must be fuckig kidding me Wu, no h--” His words caught and heart pounded in his ear as they paused at the top. He winced, prepared to plunge face forward down the edge. The waiting was agony. But he was ready for-- “What the FUUUUUCKK!” His words blended into a scream as they started falling backwards. Not what he planned for, not what he planned for! Shit, was he going to break the bar if he gripped it any tighter? Hunter strength, putain. He let up a little as he felt a bit of a lull. Until they started jetting forward and full speed up the hill again. Oh fuck this was how he died. Not fighting a monster. This.

Jane’s scream mixed with Kaden’s, except it was far more joyful and full of pleasure than his fearful ones. As they jerked back up the hill at full speed, and then down the massive drop, Jane was true to her word - no hands - as they flew down. Jane had never been on a rollercoaster like this before. They jerked around a corner that seemed to be too tight to be possible, and Jane realized that this was the perfect burst of adrenaline she had needed. A yell of joy came from her when they were suddenly upside down down, and then sideways, and then doing impossible patterns on the tracks. “WOOOO!” She screamed, as they climbed yet another hill at full speed. “Come on Kaden! No hands!!!” She encouraged loudly, just as they dropped down the final mountain that would skid them to a stop.

When they barreled down the hill, Kaden went to close his eyes. No fuck that was worse. How was Jane having fun?! Was this supposed to be fun? His stomach was in his chest and he couldn’t feel his throat any more because he was fucking screaming. He saw the loop-de-loop coming before they got there. Was that even fucking there before? He was pretty sure there wasn’t any upside down fucking nonsense before they hopped o-- Putain de fucking merde they were upside fucking down. Upside. Fucking. Down. And then they were right side up again and he was pretty sure his stomach was still back on the first goddamn hill. There was more, sideways, corkscrews, more hills fucking somehow. There was one last drop. They paused at the top for some inexplicable reason. The anticipation was the worst. And she told him to put his hands up? No way in fucking hell was he going to do that. Or so he thought. Without any reasons, his hands released from his deathgrip on the restraints and went above his head. Not by fucking choice. Goddamn fae magic bullshit. Kaden screamed “FUCK YOU WUUUUUUUUUUUUU,” the whole way down. When they skidded to a stop and the bar finally lifted, Kaden had never felt so relieved. He practically scrambled to get out of the car. Solid fucking ground, thank god.

Somehow, Langley completely losing his goddamn mind was making the whole experience even more enjoyable. Laughter spilled from Jane as she heard Kaden curse her name out, the car jerking to a stop at the end of the ride. Her laughter didn’t end as the bar raised over their heads, and she climbed out of the car. “Come on, Langley, don’t tell me you didn’t have any fun!” Jane chuckled loudly, about to clap him on the back good naturedly before deciding that maybe that wasn’t the best idea. They walked back out to where the line for the next ride was starting. “How’s your stomach, I should have told you not to eat anything too heavy? Should we grab you something to settle it?” She was in good spirits, the high the adrenaline rush gave her soothing any worries and anxieties she may have had about anything in the world. She could ride that out for the next night, probably, before she went off and sought something else fun and exciting. She glanced at Kaden, grinning at him. “I can grab you a soda, or something. I think the stall over there has ginger ale.”

Kaden doubled over a moment. Was he going to hurl? Maybe? No. Okay. “I’m fine. I’m alright,” he said, pushing himself back to standing and forcing himself to walk forward like nothing was wrong. He was fine. Walking was weird. But this was fine. Even if he wasn’t sure what the fuck had just happened. Was it fun? He wasn’t sure. At all. “What the fuck was that?” was all he could manage to say as he followed her on wobbly legs. “Are they all like that?” Why did people do that? For fun? His throat was a little hoarse from all the yelling. Part of him wanted a tall pint of beer or really just any alcohol to calm is fucking nerves. The rest of him, mostly just his stomach, thought that was the worst idea on planet earth. The longer they walked, the more his mind played it over in his head, the whole ride. Looking back at the track it, uh, well it didn’t add up to what they did at all. But he was starting to wonder if what he was feeling was maybe some sort of joy? Something tangential? Maybe? That or it was just a sick curious fascination with something that made him want to jump out of his fucking skin just after he turned and vomited. And strangely enough… “Does it get better a second time?” he asked cautiously.

Once Jane was absolutely certain that Langley wasn’t going to ruin her shoes, she patted him lightly on the shoulder. “There you go, see? It wasn’t so bad, now was it?” Though, he made a good point. Something about that coaster was rather weird. “That was actually a bit more…. Intense than some of the ones I’ve been on before. I’ve really only seen those kinds at full Theme Parks, not traveling carnivals,” Jane said, curiously looking back at it. “More like Six Flags or some hardcore ride park, you know?” They walked and Jane was just about to offer to buy Kaden a drink for his suffering (or shocked enjoyment, she wasn’t quite certain yet), when he turned and asked her if it got better the second time around. Jane stared at him incredulously for a moment, before a wide grin stretched out over her face. She did clap him on the shoulder this time. “You know, it sure does. Come on, let’s get back in line!”

[niiwa-angel]

Coming Home

//This is a prequel to Late At Night, a Halbarry story I wrote and posted on both tumblr and ao3, you can find me on Tumblr under niiwa-angel or on a03 as Niiwasong for any requests. This story will contain mentions of violence, medical procedures, and mentions of underage nudity though nothing sexual, and pedos can gtfo. As well, I am not a doctor so im relly just making up procedures from what makes sense to my uneducated mind and what I saw on Grey's Anatomy. If i’m wrong just take it with a grain of salt. And don’t be scared to reblog and like. :p //

Hal collapsed on the sofa next to his boyfriend with a tired sigh, he stretched one arm around Barry’s shoulders and nestled the bowl of popcorn between them. Barry laughed and continued to scroll through netflix without sparing a glance at his partner.

“Look, this is the first movie night we’ve had in three very long months. I am not half assing our entertainment with some crappy half cooked comedy!” Barry exclaimed, drawing a theatrical moan from Hal.

“Babe, there was nothing wrong with Spaceballs! It’s a wonderful comedy, you like that movie!” he said, with a tone that suggested he had had this argument more than a few times. His partner paid him no mind, continuing his search for a perfect movie.

“Hey, we haven’t seen “Grown-ups” have we? It’s got good reviews.” the blonde exclaimed, finally looking at Hal, who just shrugged.

“Whatever babe, as long as you’re happy.” he said, pulling his lover closer into a kiss. Barry grinned against his mouth, moving one hand to the back of Hal’s head. Breaking apart, Barry quickly started the movie and dipped his hand into the popcorn bowl.

“Thanks for the snacks love.” he muttered, curling against the taller man and resting his head on his shoulder. Predictably, Hal wrapped his arm around him and squeezed his waist. Both turned from the T.V. as the intro was broken by Barry’s cell, Iris’s name and picture lit up the screen as Barry removed it from his pocket.

“You mind if I take this?” Barry asked, biting his bottom lip with an apologetic look at Hal, who just shrugged.

“Yeah dude, she’s your sister! You answer if she calls, I would never come between you and your family!” Hal said, nudging Barry up, and reclaiming the popcorn bowl. Barry laughed.

“And you’re scared of her!” He crowed, raising from the green soda and making his way towards the kitchen. Hal nodded sagely.

“Everyone in their right mind is scared of your sister. You know she threatened to cut my balls off if she ever found out I hurt you?” He joked, though he grimaced as he remembered the fiery red-head turning those intense emerald greens at him, a whispered threat if anything happened to her adopted brother. Barry chuckled.

“She did mention it. I’ll tell her you say ‘hi’. Don’t eat all the popcorn!” He smirked, hitting the answer button and stepping into the kitchen. Hal smiled and leaned back, turning the volume down on the movie and popping a piece of buttery popcorn in his mouth. He sat dead up, as Barry’s angered “What?” came from the kitchen.

Barry stormed out like a man possessed, his normally kind blue eyes were hard and he looked ready to murder. Hal could hear Iris’s muffled voice from the other end, she sounded like she was biting back tears, though he couldn’t make out what she was saying.

“Yeah we’re on our way, be there as soon as we can.” he snapped, a tone he would normally never be caught dead using with his sister, but clearly whatever had just been passed on violated any sense of normalcy they had. Hal stood as Barry turned his attention to him.

“What’s going on?” the short question carried more weight than it should have, Hal was mentally going through what could be wrong. Had Joe had an accident, was something wrong with Iris? The possibilities were horribly endless.

“Wally’s in the hospital, in critical condition. Iris said he might not make it and we need to be there to deal with the cops.” Barry was pulling on his coat while simultaneously trying to lace up his boots. Hal jumped up, slamming the remote and bowl onto the table, movie still playing in the background.

“I’ll drive, you shouldn’t be behind a wheel right now.” Hal said, racing towards the entrance and snatching the keys from Barry.

“Oh and you should be?” Barry snarled, reaching for them, only for his lover to hold them out of reach.

“I’m military, we’re trained to stay calm under stress. It would be safer if I drove and this is not a debate,” Hal’s voice dripped with authority, and Barry slightly deflated. “We will get to Wally, love. I’ll get us there as fast as I can.”

Barry nodded and the pair slipped out into the cold November air, movie still playing on the television, popcorn abandoned on the coffee table.

~~~~~~~At The Hospital~~~~~

Barry raced into the waiting room and straight into a pacing Iris, eyes wet with tears. Hal rushed in just in time to see the too hug, drawing small comfort from the other, Barry grabbed Iris’s shoulders and pushed her away, looking her directly in the eyes.

“What happened? Where’s Wally?”  He asked, bringing another round of tears from Iris. Hal gently placed an arm around both of their shoulders, guiding them to the hard plastic chairs near the wall. As soon as they were seated Iris told what she knew.

“I got a call from the police about half an hour ago. The neighbours heard Rudolf swearing and yelling and they called the police, then they called again when they heard crashing. Rudy was taken to the police station drunk, apparently they found Wally at the bottom of the basement stairs with his head bleeding really badly. He wasn’t breathing, they had to restart his heart in the basement, and twice more in the ambulance. As soon as they got here they took him to an operating room and nobody told me anything since!” She sobbed, wiping her face with her palm.

“Well that’s a good thing right?” Hal asked, receiving disgusted looked from his boyfriend and his sister. “Guys, if their operating, it means Wally’s alive, at least. It’s a start.” identical dawns of realization crossed the sibling’s faces and Hals brain marveled at how similar they were, despite not being biologically related.

“What about Mary?” Barry asked, breaking Hal’s unhelpful train of thought. Iris shook her head.

“I don’t know, I haven't seen her though and I imagine they wouldn't have called me if she were. I’m Wally’s emergency contact, they only call me if his parents are unavailable.” The redhead looked to the male pair.

“I can’t believe Rudy would do that to his own son.” She shuddered, wrapping her arms around herself.

“Wait, hold on! Are we sure Rudy is responsible for this? I mean I was never in this guy’s fan club but we’re talking what might be attempted murder.” Hal said, though his mind already knew what the answer was, kids didn’t do that kind of damage to themselves.

“From what the police told me, there were injuries that were…” She swallowed hard, like she was trying to keep the words from being said. “That had to have been done by another person, and Rudy was holding the weapon!” Her voice failed her as she trailed off into sobs yet again. Barry wrapped his arms around his sister and both of them clung to each other, the only sounds being muffled reassurances and choked sobs, Hal sat in silence, pointedly looking towards the hallway, giving the pair a sense of privacy. Iris took a deep breath, breaking away slightly, though still with her right hand grasping her brother’s forearm.

“I just can’t believe Rudy would do this! Bear, did you ever think that he would be capable of-” she broke off, green eyes taking a sudden interest in the tile floor. Hal snorted.

“Barry and I haven’t seen much of Rudy since we announced our relationship and Rudy told us in no short terms we weren’t welcome in his home. After that, he and Barry agreed on which holidays they got with the family and left it at that. That was around four years ago.” The trio collectively nodded. “Well Wally was only three then, and I never noticed any signs.” Barry muttered, trying to remember if anything in particular stood out to him but coming up with nothing.

“I think it may have started after Rudy lost his job. He started acting weird, I should have noticed something.” Iris sighed, her nephew should have been safe, and now here they were, three people who all cared deeply for a certain red haired child, sitting in an impersonal waiting room hoping to an inattentive god that their boy made it through the night.

~~~~~~~~~Hours Later~~~~~~~

Dr. Samanta strolled down the hallway from the operating theatre, most late night operations ended in crying relatives and having to call time of death, but tonight she got to tell a family that their loved one was able to live to see another day. Ducking into the waiting room, she instantly saw a trio occupying the corner of the waiting room, a red haired woman curled against a blonde man, with both of them tucked, sleeping, against a brunet who was gazing at her with a desperate look. She knew it well, it was a look many families gave her, as if silently pleading with her would change her news, like she wouldn’t keep all of them alive if she could. She knew who they were here for but she still called.

“Family of Walance West?” The blonde and red head jerked awake and the brunet straightened his back, waiting for the others to rise before standing himself. All three of them rushed to her, all with scared  expressions adjourning all of their faces.

“He suffered three broken ribs, one of which punctured his lung, a concussion, a bad sprain to his left wrist, multiple welts on his back are infected, and some mild internal bleeding. Because of the concussion, his brain started to swell but we were able to fix that. We patched his lungs up, though we do have him on oxygen for some time and in a medically induced coma, but he should make a full recovery.” She smiled as the trio started celebrate, the red head hugging her tightly, with a whispered, “Thank you for saving my nephew”

“Just doing my job. He’s still sleeping off the anesthesia and visiting hours are technically over, but if you all promise to be very quiet, you can sit with him for awhile-” she broke off as all three started on promises to be quiet and begging to see their family. She turned and gestured for them to follow her down the hall toward a small room in a corner, Wally lay in the middle of a cot that dwarfed him, making him look smaller than he was. A cobweb of wired and tubes disappeared into his gown and connected into his body, a pale turban of bandages covered his head, hiding his hair, while a tube connected to an oxygen mask rested over his mouth. The blonde put a hand over his mouth to cover a choked sound that came from his throat while he slipped closer.

“Wally?” he gasped, putting his other hand on the bed next to him, tears falling next to it, to quick for him to catch them all. The brunet crept next to him and put a comforting hand around his shoulder.

“You said he’s in a coma?” he whispered, turning those eyes on her. Dr. Samanta nodded. “A medically induced coma, just for a while. It should give his brain time to heal and for the swelling to go down, he’s young so the risk is small considering. You can talk to him, let him know you’re here.” The redhead nodded, slipping her hand into the childs. Dr. Samanta nodded, and turned, walking into the hallway, removing the surgical cap and replacing it with her Hijab.

“Doctor!” She turned to see the Brunet stalking towards her, freezing as he saw her head covering. She stood taller, bracing for a islamiphobic rant. Instead, he put his hand over his chest.

“I can not thank you enough for saving my nephew, my husband and I, and my sister in law are so grateful.” He nodded toward her head. “I was in Afghanistan, I met a lot of inspirational men and women there. If anyone gives you trouble for your faith, I will have some of my brothers in arms come talk to them.” She smiled.

“Thank you, Mr?”

“Jordan, Hal Jordan. Pleasure to meet you.”

“Wish I didn’t have to. I will keep you in mind, go take care of your boy. He’s had a rough time of it.” And with that, she turned down the hallway and disappeared around the corner. And there she finally allowed herself to truly smile.

~~~~~The Next Day~~~~~~

To say the atmosphere was tense would be an oversimplification. The police and social services had filled Iris, Barry and Hal in on what had happened and were trying to work out what came next.

“Listen, as much as we would love to place him in your care, the state requires married couples!” The social workers sighed, massaging his temples. “We can work out with a foster family to let you have visiting rights but right now none of you have the necessary requirements to house him. I agree it’s unfair, but there is nothing I can do.” With that, he stood, gathered his coat and hat, and left the room. Hal looked to Barry, who was quietly fuming in his seat.

“This is Bullshit! We know Wally, we love him, and we could care for him! But they want to put him with strangers because we aren’t married!” He hissed, blue eyes icy.

“We cannot let him disappear into the system!” Iris snarled, just the thought of strangers having unlimited access to her nephew was enough to make her sick. Hal nodded.

“He won’t be.” Getting out of his chair he pushed it away and knelt next to Barry, who startled.

“What are you doing?” He demanded, while Iris broke into a grin behind him. “Well they said we couldn’t take him because we aren’t married. We can fix that really easy.” Hal chuckled, putting his hands on Barry’s knees. The blonde smirked.

“I do believe you’re asking for my hand.” He joked.

“I am. Right now I’m just thinking a courthouse wedding, that way Wally’s safe but if you want a big ass, balls to the wall wedding, we can do that after we get settled. Hell, I’ll even wear the dress.” Barry smiled and threw his arms around his lover.

“Yes, I would love to marry you. We don’t need a huge service, we can have a small garden service in our yard, just some close friends and family. A small dinner, with cake.” He laughed, wiping his tears away happily. Hal nodded, touching their foreheads together.

‘Whatever you want love. But first, let’s make sure our boy is safe.”

~~~~~~A Week Later~~~~

Wally’s head hurt. His mind felt like he was thinking through a heavy fog, he was clumsy, his limbs never seeming to follow his thoughts.

“Useless” his father’s voice whispered in his head, causing him to stiffen up. His uncle noticed from where he was settled in the corner of the hospital room, getting up and coming towards him.

“Don’t hurt me! Please, i’ll be good! Pleasepleasepleaseplease!” He mentally pleaded as his Uncle Barry came closer, one hand slightly extended.

“Hey, you doing okay kiddo?” Barry whispered, though even that sounded too loud. The doctors had said that that was because of the concussion, he was already tired of it, the lights were too bright, the noises to loud, and he was jittery.

Wally nodded, though he still wouldn’t look Barry, who looked toward the door for Hal, who was finishing up paperwork.

“We’re really looking forward to having you live with us Wally. We have your room set up, just a bed and desk right now, but all your stuff from your parents house just needs to be unpacked, and ofcourse we can paint your room whatever colour you like.” Barry told him, desperately trying to engage his nephew, Wally was distant, barely speaking and flinching whenever Barry or Hal got to close. The oxygen was still required, though the face mask was replaced by a tube under his nose feeding it into his lungs when he breathed.

“Well, that’s the paperwork done! Ready to head home you two?” Hal asked, rushing into the room, a small mountain of paper under his arm. Both adults looked to Wally, who just shrugged. Barry looked to Hal, eyes sad as he went to get Wally into the wheelchair.

“I gotta pick you up kiddo, you okay?” He asked, getting another shrug. Barry settled the oxygen tank into Wally’s lap before slipping his arm under his legs and around his shoulders, carrying him bridal style across the room and placing him into a wheelchair. Hal put the papers into Barry’s satchel before taking up the handles of the chair and pushing him out into the hallway.

“The nurses have your last dose of painkillers at their station, though Barry and I will pick up your prescription later okay squirt?” Hal asked, when he received nothing he leaned closer and whispered.

“Personally, I think they just wanted to see you one last time before you left. I mean it’s not every day you get to spend time with THE Wally West.” The got a reaction, the adults noted, as Wally ducked his head, cheeks flushed a little.

“There’s my favourite redhead!” A man in nurse scrubs exclaimed, jogging up to the trio with a dixie cup and a ketchup cup. “I got your meds here little man.” Wally nodded, accepting the outstretched items and downing the pills.

“Now those should make you feel drowsy, so no driving. Other than that, you guys are good to go.” The nurse gently clapped Wally on the shoulder and Hal pushed him towards the exit. Leaving the wheelchair with the front dsk and carrying his nephew out to their car.

Wally vaguely felt Hal clip his seatbelt into place and shut the door, he leaned his head against the window as Barry crawled into the passenger seat, turning to face him.

“Do you mind if I put on some music, Wally? I promise to keep it quiet.” Wally shrugged.

“I don’t mind, Sir.” He muttered, listening as Barry pluged his phone into the USB and Hamilton started playing from the speakers.

“You guys like musicals?” He asked, noticing how Barry lit up as he asked the question, though it was Hal who answered.

“Oh yeah, we go see local productions all the time, and we choose one Broadway musical a year. How about you?” Hal didn’t stop trying to navigate them out of the busy hospital parking lot, but he did glance at Wally in the rear view mirror, Wally just nodded.

“Yeah, but Dad never let me listen to them, he said boys weren’t meant to like them.” Barry rolled his eyes hard, knowing his adopted brothers stance on musicals and other “soft” passions, but he didn’t voice his opinions.

“Well, we don’t mind and musicals are absolutely for boys to like!” Barry said, turning as much as the seat belt would allow to look at Wally. The young red head smiled, before his face spit into a yawn.

“You just rest kiddo, we have about an hour drive ahead of us. We’ll wake you when we get home.” Wally nodded at his uncles words and leaned his head against the window, the cool glass pulling him into sleep.

~~~~~~At the House~~~~

Barry and Hal quietly shut their car doors and Barry went to grab Wally. Hal threw their overnight bags over his shoulder and went to go unlock the door for his lover carrying their kid, Pushing his way inside, he waited while Barry carried a sleeping Wally over to the couch in the living room.

“Hey babe, can you go draw a bath in the upstairs bathroom?” Barry asked, eyes not leaving the sleeping child on his lap.

“Are you sure he’s up for a bath right now? Kid will barely talk to us.” He pointed out with a frown. Barry just shook his head.

“I’m not really concerned about that right now, he hasn’t had a proper bathe since before the hospital, his immune system is already weak and we don’t need any of his wounds getting more infected than they already are.” He said with a finality that made arguing pointless, though Hal had to agree with him, the poor kid was filthy.

“Alright, I’ll come get you when it’s ready, kay?” he asked, pressing a kiss to Barry’s head, before darting up the stairs to the rarely used main bathroom, Hal and Barry often used the adjoining bathroom to their bedroom so the main was often only for guests, which they didn’t get a lot of. Hal turned on the water and pushed the plug into the drain, watching as the tub filled to about half before shutting off the tap and heading back downstairs to his husband.

“Baths ready.” He muttered, watching as Barry stood up. Wally was a little more awake, though from the look on his face it was iffy, the kid looked like he could pass out at any given moment. The blonde carefully took the stairs and slipped into the bathroom, setting Wally on the closed toilet, before gently removing his clothing.

“W’er you doin?” Wally mumbled, squirming a little as Barry lifted him up again before transporting him into the bath.

“Just cleaning you up love, you’re okay.” Barry comforted, trying to simultaneously keep the child upright and clean the grime off him. Hal grimaced, he had seen Wally’s injuries but somehow, when they were all displayed, they seemed worse, it didn’t help that he was drugged and clearly on the verge of panic. Barry was getting stressed as well, trying to keep the boy’s head up with one hand and clean the dirt off with the other, when it got to be apparent that it wasn’t working, Hal placed his phone and wallet on the countertop before gently pushing Barry to the side.

“What are you- Hal!” Barry yelped, watching with sheer disbelief as his husband slipped into the water, cradling Wally against his chest.

“Helping you. Now he can sit up without you having to hold him.” Ha said, plainly as though he was discussing the weather. Barry looked at him, dumbstruck for a moment, before he burst out laughing.

“god, I married an idiot!” He exclaimed, before he put some soap on a washcloth and gently started washing the dirt off Wally’s skin, careful of his bruises and cuts. Hal just pressed a gentle kiss to Wally’s head, and hummed a tune under his breath. Wally started giggling.

“Uncle Hal, you’re gonna get your clothes wet.” His voice still had the slur brought on by heavy painkillers, but he seemed a little more aware of his surroundings. At least enough to take in the hilarity of the situation.

“Oh, I think he knows squirt.” Barry sighed, shaking his head at the nonsense. “He probably thought it would be funny. Hal, did you seriously not take your socks off!” Barry demanded, causing Hal and Wally to sit up slightly to examine Hals socked feet, now soaking wet.

“Well, what do you know?” Hal asked, his face a picture of innocence, “I guess I didn’t” He smiled at Barry, who snorted and muttered something under his breath, while Wally laughed again, harder this time.

“Well I’m glad you two find this funny, but we only brought one towel in, so Hal, you have to stay in the tub till you dry.” Barry scolded, unsuccessfully hiding his smile. “Okay squirt, all done.” He slipped his hands under Wally and lifted him from the water, wrapping him in an oversized, fluffy red towel, before carrying him out of the room.

“Whoa, hey, babe! Come on please, just bring me a towel.” Hal called, sitting upright as the pair left the room. Barry looked at Wally, tilting his head.

“You hear anything squirt?” He asked, laughing when Wally shook his head. “Me neither, come on let’s get you to bed.” Hal groaned as Barry left the room.

Five minutes later, Barry strode in carrying a green towel, offering it to his grumpy partner, who was now quite soggy, Hal took it and started to dry himself off.

“I don’t know why people say you’re the merciful League member, you have a wicked side.” Hal grumbled, walking towards the master bedroom, Barry chuckled.

“Only when my husband get into a bathtub fully clothed.”

“Well, jokes on you, because I got Wally to giggle!” Hal said, pulling Barry into a hug.

“Ah, you moron, you’re all wet!” Barry squawked, pushing away from the pilot, who pulled him closer. Barry rolled his eyes as Hal changed from wet clothes into clean pajama, settling down into bed.

“You know? I think we can pull this parenting thing off.” Hal whispered, hugging Barry close. The two fell asleep with their hands entwined, the house one member up, and a little bit happier.

[cheylouwho]

South Park: The affect of Abuse and ACEs on Behavior

One thing that’s been a hot topic in the SP fandom as of late is the discussion of how the behavior (both past and present) of the child characters are affected by the experiences we’ve seen/heard about in canon. Today we’re going to talk a little about three of the most damning cases; Cartman, Tweek and Butters.

Disclaimer 1: This analysis will contain several mentions of childhood trauma such as abuse, neglect and sexual relations. Please be mindful that you have been warned.

Disclaimer 2: This is for the sake of analysis and application of knowledge that I (and those in the SP analysis discord) have. We are in no way professionals. I am only a preschool teacher so my knowledge in the field of abuse and neglect is limited to what I’ve been taught and what I have witnessed/experienced. Please take the speculation with a grain of salt… maybe even the whole shaker. Just dump it in your mouth and enjoy almost 4,000 words of fully sourced “its not that deep, fam”.

Preface: What We Know about Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)

Before we can really dive into this whole thing, we need to discuss ACEs. These are, to put it simply, traumatic events that occur during childhood that can have lasting effects on a person’s social/emotional, cognitive and even physical development well into adulthood. They’re mostly used for identifying children/people at risk and for research. It’s pretty interesting how that’s done, so I implore you to research more if you’re curious. These experiences can include:

Physical abuse

Sexual abuse

Emotional abuse

Physical neglect

Emotional neglect

Intimate partner violence

Mother treated violently

Substance misuse within household

Household mental illness

Parental separation or divorce

Incarcerated household member

(Source)

Given we’re talking about Cartman, Butters and Tweek, I think you can see why I bring this up. Taking a look at this list and the canon evidence we have in show, it’s easy to say that they’ve all experienced some of these traumas. Two more important things from the source article should also be noted for the sake of this analysis:

ACEs cluster. Almost 40% of the Kaiser sample reported two or more ACEs and 12.5% experienced four or more. Because ACEs cluster, many subsequent studies now look at the cumulative effects of ACEs rather than the individual effects of each.

ACEs have a dose-response relationship with many health problems. As researchers followed participants over time, they discovered that a person’s cumulative ACEs score has a strong, graded relationship to numerous health, social, and behavioral problems throughout their lifespan, including substance use disorders.

“Chey, what the fuck are you on about? This doesn’t make sense!” you might be saying. To truly understand how these ACEs apply to these three kids and how they affect their behavior, let’s take a look at them on a case by case basis.

Cartman’s Case

Eric Cartman is probably the most interesting child in terms of applying the ACEs checklist, as well as other knowledge about abuse and neglect affects on children. We know, from canon, that Cartman lives with his single mother. He’s a low-income family. His mother has been/may still be a sex worker. He’s is very inclined to violence and seems obsessed with sexual topics. It’s very interesting to note that towards the beginning of the series, while evidences were present, Cartman was a lot more innocent. As the show went on and some of these ACE experiences actually happened in building canon, it’s worn on him and shaped him in real time into the character we know today.

ACE 1: Sexual Abuse. It’s been strongly implied that Cartman has been sexually abused.Here is a not-so-short list of examples from the fanon wiki (source). It’s long winded and detailed, so here are a few notable points (as well as some that I’ve added myself).

Engaged in inappropriate/sexual behavior for his age, such as “touching wieners” with one of his cousins (le petit tourette), giving handjobs (Fat Butt and Pancake Head), insisting on measuring penises of his classmates (TMI), putting Butters’ penis in his mouth (Cartman Sucks)

Has been sexually abused by his mother/because of his mother (An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig)

Has been abused by several adult men ON SCREEN (The Simpsons Already Did It, Cripple Fight, Cartman Joins NAMBLA, AWESOM-O, The Return of Chef, It’s A Jersey Thing)

There’s also the strong point that Cartman has come to associate sex/love as something undesired, humiliating or painful. Again, the wiki wonderfully spells these out, but I’ll summarize. Cartman constantly treats any form of sexual or romantic relations as rape and assault. One example is in the Coon and Friends trilogy, he believes a woman having a consensual relationship with a man in the park is being “raped” and needs to be saved. Another example is his expressed sadness at the New Kid’s “dad fucked your mom” backstory in FBW. Another one that is not often touched upon in his reaction to Tweek and Craig’s fight in Tweek X Craig, in which he exclaims wholeheartedly that the two of them getting into an alteration is “sex” and seems intrigued to watch what’s going to happen. He also uses sex as a form of humiliation. I’m sure this is common knowledge at this point but his infatuation with making Kyle suck his balls in Imaginationland but also in his culmination of Butters’ photographical humiliation (AKA, sticking his penis in his mouth).

It’s not talked about on the ACEs website, but children who are sexually abused are likely to exhibit disdain (but interest) in sexual relations and acting sexually mature for their age.

ACE 2 and 3: Emotional abuse and neglect. Now, before I start this, you’re probably going to say, “BUT CHEY! Liane loves and dotes on Cartman! That’s why he’s spoiled!” Boy, do I hear you, but I’m going to explain myself. While Liane does spoil Cartman to hell and back, I’d like to argue that it’s empty. Liane may often tell Cartman she loves him, she also uses tactics such as bribery (food and other things Cartman likes), neglect (Cartman has said in canon, and she’s admitted herself, to being too busy to deal with him due to being a single parent), and also exposes him to things he should not be exposed to (sex, drugs). She treats him like a friend or a companion rather than her son (Tsst) which allows Cartman to have free reign. But free reign is not always out of love and care. I’d like to argue a lot of Cartman’s power is from lack of parenting and involvement in his life.I’m sorry if this part isn’t phrased too well; I had a hard time articulating it.

This may also be why Cartman has such a mixed relationship with his mother. He’s fed the idea that things are okay and great, that nothing is wrong, and he literally eats it up. He’s not outwardly talkative about what goes on at home, and when he is, he seems to regret it immediately. His disdain for his mom may not be purely “selfish greedy child”, but completely justified “abused child”. As phrased wonderfully by one of our server members, “that’s why he calls her a bitch and all those kinds of things yet still protecting her whenever they try to rip on Liane. Because that’s the kind of love he’s used to.”

Furthermore, consider the situation around Cartman’s birth. Liane was young, drunk and the town “slut” (their words, not mine). Cartman’s father’s identity had to be hidden and there’s no doubt that took a tole on her. I’d imagine being a young, single mother is not the path she wanted for herself. I tend to think of it as a cycle- Liane doesn’t want to deal with her child due to his behavior so she checks out of the situation, actually making Cartman’s behavior worse and so on and so on. Another possibly related scene could be in “Cartman’s Mom Is A Dirty Slut”, when she still outwardly seeks an abortion for her 8 year old son.

On a slightly unrelated note, this may also be one of the reasons for Cartman’s infatuation with Kyle. He seems to mistake the traits of abuse/neglect (anger, fighting, etc) as love due to how his mother treats him. This is why he thinks Kyle enjoys his company/likes him as a friend despite how much Kyle pushes back.

Other likely ACES: Witnessing intimate partner violence (his mother is a sex worker and he’s claimed to have been in the room during these acts), mother treated violently (FBW’s little Liane arc gives me bad vibes), substance abuse within household (I forget which episodes specifically but Liane’s done drugs), parent separation or divorce (absent father figure).

Cartman’s Conclusion:

Cartman has a grand total of SEVEN potential ACEs. The reason why I started those two additional facts at the start of this is because they are culminating (several often pop up and are related to each other) and affect behavior and relationships. Cartman’s behavior, while obnoxious and impulsive at best and downright despicable at worst, can be somewhat explained by the experiences he’s faced. Abuse, neglect and sexual assault have led him to search for forms of power and control in his life, whether that be over himself, his mother or his friends. His views of the world are shaped by what he’s seen and felt. Unlike Tweek, however, he doesn’t have much of a support system, and with the “sugarcoating” under the guise of love and care, he’s less likely to get the help he needs. His risks for childhood and subsequently adulthood are very high.

Butters’ Case

Butter’s is your stereotypical abused child in terms of his behavior and coping mechanisms. I believe that even casual show-watchers would agree that he’s in some deep shit. Unlike Cartman who is a lot more nuanced about displaying what he’s experienced, Butters is naive and innocent and resilient. He easily follows what others (CARTMAN) ask of him. He assumes a more submissive role in his life, working hard to make others happy and put them first to avoid trouble. He’s an easy target for bullying and being humiliated or used. He says things out loud without noticing their implications to what has happened to him.

Unlike Liane who covers her (probably unintentional) neglect with the guise of love, he has no such outward statements from either parent. The closest we get is “this is for your own good”, but there is no loving undertone, it’s purely corporeal.  Their abuse is right in his face; it’s physical, it’s mental, it’s terrible. Steven Stotch is the primary abuser, and while Linda has done her fair share of harm, she’s generally more passive. She even states in Grounded Vindaloop that she “lets [Steven] handle the grounding”. Steven Stotch, as of FBW, is also a victim of abuse, showing that he’s perpetrating it in a cycle (you’ll notice this theme a few times in this little essay).

It’s clear as of season 20 that the effects of constant abuse have finally worn on Butters, due to his angry outbursts and sudden shift in attitude (if you want to look at it from a character standpoint and not as lazy writing cough cough). He’s hit a breaking point in what he can take, and the more he’s been exposed to his ACEs (like Cartman’s case) the more behaviorally challenged he’s become.

Another aspect to consider is his relationship with Cartman. Both share similar ACEs, but cope with them in different ways. Cartman chooses to be a controller to earn back what he’s lost, while Butters is more suited to take a backseat and follow. This is why they, despite having a very dysfunctional friendship, stick together. It may appear that Cartman is the only one benefiting, but I believe it’s more mutualistic based on their respective coping mechanisms.

ACE 1: Physical Abuse. Butters has been shown to be physically abused time and time again by Steven. He’s been hit, talked about being hit, and the biggest piece of evidence that scares the shit out of me personally is that Steven pulled off his belt and prepared to hit Butters in front of his classmates in Grounded Vindaloop. Corporal punishment has been shown time and time again to be detrimental to children’s psyc, which aligns given how Butters acts.

ACE 2: Sexual Abuse. Butters has mentioned in The Return Of Chef that he has been sexually abused by his uncle, which does not surprise me in the slightest. Butters, unlike Cartman, goes the total opposite direction of how to cope with this sort of experience; he’s blissfully unaware of what has happened and rather than let it consume him (ex. cartman) he brushes it off as no big deal. Whether this means he is truly unaware of the connotations of what was done to him or if he’s purposely repressing it is unclear, but the evidence is there that it did happen.

ACE 3 and 4: Emotional Abuse and Neglect. This one is abundant in examples. Steven appears to play a lot of mind games with Butters, whether it’s demanding he stop having nightmares (The Death of Eric Cartman), getting in trouble for looking a certain way (How To Eat With Your Butt and The List), or simply for being bullied. They constantly ground him for things that he has no control over, simple mistakes or things that he was not even involved in. I believe that Steven, similar to Cartman, takes the helplessness from childhood abuse and hurts Butters in order to feel in control of himself.

Other Possible ACEs: Household mental illness could be argued as one of the ACEs Butters experiences, although not officially confirmed in canon. I do believe that Linda has some form of mental illness due to her behavior in Butters Own Episode. Although not listed in the article, Steven’s infidelity and the tension that causes on his and Linda’s marriage is also a potential ACE, especially given that Butters was directly exposed to that whole fiasco.  

Butters’ Conclusion:

Butters’ innocence is likely a form of coping mechanism for what he’s encountered during his life. Constant physical and mental abuse have worn on him over the years, turning him more bitter and forcing him to act out. I believe this also can be accredited to his mental break in season 19’s “Safe Space”, as this is the big start of his downward spiral. Unlike Cartman, there is no cover-up for his abuse being simply that- abuse- so being able to divorce himself and his emotions will be easier for him if he were to receive support or help in some form.

Tweek’s Case

Tweek is an interesting case because while he does have emotional abuse, neglect and and forced substance abuse (coffee and/or meth addiction), he also has canon mental illness that exists outside of how he’s treated. The abuse and neglect of his parents only amplify the effects of said illness. I’ve had a selection of anons over time talk about his potential (though not confirmed) mental state, most agreeing it’s some form of panic disorder (the Tweaks claim it’s ADD, but this is really just a load of bullshit and we all know it). He is often exploited by his parents (ex. “Having a homosexual son is good for the business” in FBW) or outright lied to for the sake of business. They often brush off his worries or ignore him completely.

ACEs 1 and 2: Emotional Abuse and Neglect (EXPLOITATION). The Tweak family are no strangers to emotional abuse and neglect. Right from Tweek’s character introduction, we know something isn’t quite right. His parents feed him excessive coffee, which is later revealed to be laced with meth (did you know that meth increases body temperature, as well as caffeine overdose raising heart rate and induces anxiety? (X) Would you look at that evidence). They also frequently blackmail him into work through the threat of “selling him into slavery”.

His defining traits are usually watered down to “spaz”, and more recently, “homosexual”, hinting that his parents really don’t pay much attention to him to know much more than that. They either ignore or hardly acknowledge his fears and worries, leaving him to cope with anxiety and personal issues completely alone. He’s clearly unhappy and potentially aware of his shitty situation- in Tweek vs Craig, he slams his head against the table repeating that he “want[s] out” and that “you never help me”. In Tweek x Craig, his parents only seem to take interest in his developing relationship due to the rest of the town and their desire to look good. If you use this as anything to go off, most of their “parenting” is feeble attempts to keep up appearances.

In SOT, it’s strongly implied that Tweek is the one to usually pick up meth deliveries from Kenny’s house. This is another form of abuse, though I’m not sure if it’s exactly emotional, that he’s forced to endure. A ten year old child should not be exposed to those sort of environments, let alone be involved in the trade of drugs.

ACE 3: Substance Abuse in the Household. Whether it’s coffee, meth or other form of drugs, there’s something going on in the Tweek home that I am certain counts for this ACE. As stated in the preface, higher numbers of ACEs contribute to higher likelihoods of substance abuse- what if the child is already unintentionally abusing substances? He’s got coffee with METH INSIDE IT. I don’t think I need to go much further. There is also the possibility that with his misdiagnosis of ADD, Tweek may be provided access to other drugs for substance abuse. Meth is actually used as a way of treating ADD (X) and could be in reach for him. There’s also Amphetamine (X) which has noted side effects of "excessive grinding of the teeth,... profuse sweating,... and tics..." which could be related to his behavior. This is all purely speculation, however.

Tweek’s Conclusion:

Tweek’s struggle with mental illness is not helped by his parents frequence abuse and neglect. He’s often blackmailed into situations he doesn’t want to be in. Similar to Cartman, his forms of abuse are often sugarcoated as love, making it a little less obvious for him to pick up on. In contrast to Butters, however, he’s much less of a follower and can throw a punch when he needs to protect himself. He’s incredibly resilient and has managed to, despite early substance addiction and neglect, hold strong and even overcome massive obstacles. Of course, these are partly due to his newfound support from...

The Effect of Solid Support: Craig, Heidi, and Liane

Creek shipper or not, there is no denying that Craig has played a massive role in Tweek’s recovery. While Tweek appears to be very naturally resilient despite the odds stacked against him, the presence of someone who will actually listen to his problems and not brush them off is a huge step in the right direction. With Craig, there is a sense of trust and understanding as well as respect. He’s treated as more than a few buzzwords or free labor or any slew of hurtful remarks. His fears are able to be acknowledged and sorted though, whether it be Craig’s logical talk-throughs or someone to pat his back and say “that sucks and it’s okay” (Put It Down). Ever since the introduction of Craig as his boyfriend, we’ve seen some interesting steps in the right direction.

S21’s main theme of relationships drew a lot of interesting parallels between Creek and Heiman, namely the difference between a healthy relationship and an unhealthy relationship. Similar to Steven Stotch, as mentioned in Butters’ case, Cartman went from abused to abuser in his relationship with Heidi. However, this was not always the case.

In early S20, Heidi was in search of her own form of support after being abused by society, simply put. She was able to find this in Cartman, who was dealing with a similar situation at the time after being “murdered” by his friends. Her presence did arguably turn him around for awhile- he seemed much happier before his self-destructive tendencies and self-doubt came in full swing. The cycle was perpetrated- Heidi wasn’t what he needed, so he went from abused to abuser. Heidi could be argued to have turned into another Cartman because she faced a watered-down version of his interpretation of “love”, aka abuse.

Let’s consider another pivotal moment for Cartman: TSST. This one is such a telling episode. While Liane is the source of most of his issues, when she was able to step into her role as a parent and provide the structure and support Cartman needed, his entire personality turned around. It wasn’t until she began treating him like a friend or companion again that he slipped back into his old ways.

Between these two scenarios, I believe it shows that if the patience and care is taken when dealing with Cartman, there is the possibility of healing. Heidi failed because she too was equally vulnerable and not in the right headspace, ultimately harming both of them (this does not excuse how cartman treated and manipulated her, BTW). Liane failed because she fell back into her cycle instead of sticking with what she had built up.

Conclusion

In conclusion, despite sharing similar ACEs, all three children we’ve discussed have different forms of coping and managing their trauma. The abuse that Butters has faced is easier to “remove” from his life due to no emotional (love) being involved in corporal punishment; however, Tweek and Cartman’s abuse have longer lasting repercussions because they’ve accepted and adapted as “that’s just the way it is”. That’s not to say they’re beyond help; all three, if done soon like in Tweek’s case, can be used to heal.

I leave this post with a sort of “call to action”. While we are talking about purely fictional characters and situations that “aren’t that deep, fam”, there are actual children suffering from these kinds of experiences. If you are aware of them, or see the red flags, please don’t hesitate to get help or find someone who can. Nobody should be like Eric Cartman and display serious red flags but slip under the radar. Thank you very much for reading my long, LONG analysis.

Special thanks/credit to the south park analysis discord ( and @dumbthotticusplayer2) for helping brainstorm/discuss :)

[thememecrew-blog]

uhh drunk meme crew!!

I wrote this in like... November? I was bored in class and wrote this mess of a Crew Fic so I guess I may as well post this here, hehe. Take all the ship pandering here with a grain of salt. None of it is serious lol. 

They were... drunk, to say the least. They probably shouldn’t be, in all honesty, but we’ll ignore that for now.

Four senior high schoolers had gotten hold of a lot of alcohol. Where from? We... should ignore that too, really.

Currently the four of them sat in a circle on the floor of a living room playing go fish. “Ya got... an 8?” Tayla asked Simon, her words slurred a little. She had probably drunk a lot more than the others. But who’s paying attention?

Simon, who was the soberest of everyone, as he only drank a little, said “noo,” then paused, forgettng how the game worked. Milian, or M for short, screeched out “go fish, you HECC!”

M was the angry drunk. They also didn’t take alcohol very well. They had only ¾ of what Tayla had, but they were far more... erm... emotional.

Tayla groaned and drew a card. The next person’s turn was Dicen’s. He turned to Tayla and asked, “Two?”

She threw her cards down, displaying 5 twos. “How in the HECC??” M growled as Dicen took a card from Tayla’s hand and giggled, “UNO!!!”

“That's not what we’re playing!” Simon’s voice interjected, confused. Tayla jumped up abruptly shouting “EXACTLY!” She ran away into the kitchen and came out with a half empty wine bottle. She took a swig, obviously struggling to down such rich stuff. Her face was bright red, her actions sloppy- she was far, far too drunk. Once she finished, she giggled and sat down with the group again.

“Spin the bottle!” she exclaimed. This caused a wave of emotion with the friends.

M shouted, “HECC yes!!” and Simon groaned, just sober enough to realize this was gonna be bad. Dicen giggled, but stared between his three friends confused. It was as if he was looking for someone that wasn’t there. No one really noticed, though.

M excitedly grabbed the bottle, which Tayla finished drinking. “Hey, bro, what the h-” she hiccupped, “-hecc?” M spun the bottle aggressively. The group watched, mesmerized by it, waiting for it to stop.

The bottle landed on Simon. Of course. Why would it not? M’s face went bright red and the drunken scowl that was oresent there previously disappeared. Simon covered his face with his hands and muttered, “Whyyyy...”

“Kiss!” Tayla yelled, acting very much like a crazed fangirl. She looked over to Dicen for help and the two began to chant, “Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!”

“Shut up!” M cried, leaning in toward Simon, who’s arms were pulled away from his face. His face was tomato red as well, contrasting with his blue hair.

M kissed him.

A gasp was heard from Tayla, who squealed.

M pulled away and immediately hid their face. “AUGH I GONNA MURDER YOU TWO!”

“Whatttt-” Tayla laughed, backing away a little. Simon, had just been kissed, sat there confused with the kiss, took the bottle and said, “n-no more-”

“Awww-” Tayla frowned. “You’re no fun.”

Dicen piped in too. “I agree with him... No more...” he looked sad.

Tayla realized Dicen’s girlfriend, Kara, wasn’t with them. Of course, he wouldn’t want to play. Suddenly guilt filled her head. What was she doing? She had a boyfriend... It would be unloyal to kiss one of these guys. “H-How bout we call Kara?” Tayla suggested, her voice quivering a little.

Dicen perked up, pulling his phone out. M showed their face and Simon put the bottle down again. Nodding to Dicen’s phone, Tayla told him to call his girlfriend.

The phone rang. He put the phone on speaker so the group could listen. Everyone seemed to lean in a little, carefully listening for her to pick it up. “Hello?” She finally answered.

“KARA!” The group screeched at the female, excited.

“Whoa, what?” she started laughing, confused. “Tayla? M? You guys are there too?”

“Yeah!” Tayla exclaimed with a bright grin, gesticulating her arms greatly. “Simon too!”

“Why are you guys all together this late?”

M took the phone to answer. It seemed as though they were trying to ignore that the ksis had happened. “We’re doing stuff,” M answered, trying to speak as clearly as they could. This made a snicker come from Tayla, as M’s attempt was... not that great.

Once she broke, she piped in with a, “Wink!” and Kara audibly died. It almost sounded like she was crying, she was laughing too much. It was a very Kara Laugh.

“Oh my gosh-” she said through her laughs, “-are you guys drunk or something?” She said it as a joke, clearly. How oblivious of her.

“I’m not!” Simon argued in his signature Simon Whine.

M turned around to him and hit his arm. As Simon exclaimed an “Owww-”, M said, “Shut up, you’ve still been drinking, dipshit.”

“Yeah!!!” Tayla hiccupped.

There was a pause from Kara.  "Wait, are you guys actually drinking?”

Dicen, who had been silent until now, suddenly spoke. “We’re fine, okay?” He looked like he was dying from guilt.

“Okay,” Kara softly sighed. “Just don’t do anything stupid... okay?”

Dicen smiled a little at this. “Okay!” He said he loved her and then hung up.

“Aw, you guys are so cute!” Tayla giggled as she stood up. “And! I have an idea!” She began to walk away before motioning for M to follow. M did so with a groan, easily annoyed. “M, M, M-” T said, walking to her sister’s room. “Help me find a dress for Dicen!” With this M grinned, always on board to embarrass a friend.

While the other two were doing their thing, the boys were left alone. They decided to go into the kitchen to make some special drinks. “We should put like...” Simon said, looking through the drinks they had, “some rum?” He found a bottle and held it up.

Dicen shook his head and held up a bottle of whiskey instead. “That would make them throw up... use this :3" He handed him the drink and proceeded to search for ingredients to put into their concoction. “Fruity for the girls?” The fridge door swung open as Dicen asked this, looking curiously inward.

“Oh yes,” Simon seemed intrigued at the idea of being more creative with the drink. He crouched down and opened a cupboard. With a quick motion he grabbed a blender and got up, showing it to his friend.

Dicen grinned. “Perfect.”

  M and Tayla searched and searched Tayla’s sister’s room for the perfect outfit. There was plenty of things that they could use, but only some of them would sufficiently embarrass him. There was piles of clothes on the floor from their quest for the perfect dress. “So M…” Tayla started, before trailing off. There was a grumbling noise coming from outside the room, much like a blender. She dropped the dress she had been looking at and started giggling.

“What the hell?” M looked around confused. “What the fuck is that?”

Tayla started to giggle more, picking up the dress she had dropped. It was bright pink and frilly. There were luminescent pink and white sequins all over the bust of the dress, and then the skirt was a pink tutu with several layers. With a wave of the dress in the air, Tayla said, “Maybe the boys are making something special!~ Anywayyy, this is the perfect dress!”

M just shrugged at this, scoffing at the former comment. “Sure.”

With that, M and Tayla went back out into the living room to see what the boys were up to. By that time, they had finished up what they were doing in the kitchen and had been chilling out. There were two drinks sitting on the coffee table, messily prepared. They looked like they were attempting to be super fancy drinks, but you could tell the boys slapped the ingredients together.

The two boys sat on the couch with smug smiles, sipping their own drinks slowly.

“What in the hell?” M said, taking one of the drinks and looking at it. “The fuck is this?”

Simon simply cheered his glass. “Delicious.”

Tayla took the remaining drink and confirmed it was hers. Dicen nodded. She sipped it and licked her lips. Though it didn’t look that appetizing, the look on her face said that she thought it was just as delicious as Simon stated. She proceeded to down the whole drink unknowingly.

With a suppressed laugh, Dicen said, “Holy shit, man.” He knew just how much alcohol was in that glass- and holy shit there was a fuck ton of it.

M simply gave a concerned look then sipped her own drink. Carefully, they bought the glass to their lips and sipped it. “Damn that’s fucking strong.” M glanced at Dicen then at Tayla, picking up on what the drink was. “How the fuck did she do that?” They had to laugh at little at this.

Tayla put her now empty glass on the table again with a loud clink. She held out the pink dress. “Soooo?” She looked at Dicen with a drunken smirk- a hungry smile of a predator at its prey. “Dadddd~ You gonna wear iittt?”

He looked a little uncomfortable for a second before giving the dress a long look. He grinned ever so slightly- his drunken mind interested. “Maybe.”

Tayla threw the dress at him. “Put it onnn!~”

Simon snickered as he slowly sipped his drink, whispering to M to make sure she didn’t drink too much at once just in case. M nodded in understanding.

Tayla giggled as she stumbled over to the couch and found her phone. “W-waiiit,” -she got the camera open, “-Okay go!”

“Hehe, okaayyy,” he looked at the dress, not completely sure how to put it on. He unzipped the back very slowly. He lifted it over his head before realizing he had a problem. His shirt. “Waiiit hehe.” He put the dress down and proceeded to take his shirt off.

M and Simon watched as their drunken friends acted like complete idiots. Once Dicen got his shirt off he looked at his jeans curiously. Tayla’s face went bright red at this, and she stumbled to say “waitwait nonono-” she dropped her phone, camera up, and picked up the dress to hand it to him.

“Oh my god this is priceless,” M took out their own phone to start recording both drunks. Simon was cackling in the background. Tayla and Dicen had no idea how horribly awkward what they were doing was, but there they were, being absolute idiots.  

Dicen took the dress from Tayla and pulled it over his head. As he did this, Tayla tried helping him, as the dress appeared to be a little too small in the shoulders. Once it was fully on though… it appeared to fit almost perfectly. Tayla started to laugh again.

He grinned and floofed out the skirt. Then, he twirled in circle. “This dress is so niiice!” he laughed and spun around more. He put out his arms and made airplane noises as he spun around, giggling his head off. This made Tayla want to join in, so she began to spin herself, even if she didn’t have a dress on like Dicen did.

“This is fun! Hahah!”

Simon and M watched, but M was very tempted to join in as well. I mean, who wouldn’t? M stood up did the same plane thing that Dicen had done. “You shitheads are onto something, hah,” their words were aggressive but playful as they spoke.

The three were being recorded by Simon, who had been given the phone when M left to join the other two. He was, for the first time ever, the smartest person in the room. He was no longer drinking, so he would probably be a lot more chill than the others until the next morning.

“You guys are idiots haha,” he laughed, trying not the shake the phone too much. “ThaBnk yOuu!” Tayla stumbled over her words, almost tripping over her feet.

M laughed maniacally and began to spin a lot fast. This was a mistake, though, as they were still drunk and had horrible balance. So one thing and another happened, and M tripped over their feet, ramming into Tayla. This caused a domino effect in which M fell down, pushing Tayla so she lost her balance, and finally into the small boy wearing a dress; Dicen.

This chain reaction was interesting to say the least. At least it was all being recorded, right?

When M ran into T, Tayla bumped into Dicen, causing him to fall. However, in the process of falling, Tayla had grabbed him in an attempt not to fall herself. Of course, this didn’t work, as Dicen fell backwards. The duo went down, leaving T on top of Dicen.

Simon burst out laughing at this. M sat up, recovering from their fall quickly, and joined Simon in laughing. They grabbed Tayla’s phone, which was on the ground near her (as Tayla never picked it up) and began to record them as well.

“W-wha- D-Daddd??” Tayla exclaimed with a bright red face, face mere inches away from Dicen’s.

Dicen was stunned at first, his ears as red as Tayla’s face- but he then began to giggle like a madman. “Why are you on top of meee? Hehe!”

“I dunnooo,” Tayla replied, “I can get offfff.”

Dicen giggled more. “You’re not Karaaaaa!~”

“Oh shit you’re right! Fuck!!” Tayla laughed, rolling off her friend.

The two were completely unaware of how weird that was. M and Simon, though, were laughing their heads off. “Do we show them tomorrow?” Simon asked, out of breath.

M took a second to think about that, glancing at the duo in question, who were laughing drunkenly next to each other. “We could use it against them, though.” They glared at Tayla with an evil grin. “Especially that fuck.”

Once Dicen and Tayla’s laughter subsided, Dicen got up and walked over to Simon. “Why didn’t you spinnnn?”

Simon laughed. “Because.”

“Because why?”

“Because.”

“Because whyyy?”

“Because.”

“Becauuuse wh-“

“Shut the fuck up, jesus,” M snapped, helping Tayla off the floor as well. They pointed at her and glared at Dicen. “No more fucking around.” M’s mood had changed very quickly. Not that that was surprising, though.

“We were just having funn,” Tayla argued.

“Having fun being on top of eachother?”

Tayla grinned and exclaimed, “Yes!” before quickly realizing that was the wrong answer. “You pushed meee.”

“You fuck, I didn’t mean to-“ M raised their arms as if they were going to hit Tayla. “Don’t test me.”

Tayla backed off, laughing a little nervously. “O-okayyy…” With that the group was left in silence, not doing anything.

“Man I dunno what I’d do if you guys died.”

Everyone stared at Dicen, whose facial expression was blank. (Minus a soft drunken smile.)

“What in the hell?” M asked, their voice low.

Dicen grinned. “Yeah!” He held at his arms like an air hug. “You guys are great!”

Tayla nodded in agreement, but nothing else was said besides a soft “huh” from Simon.

M angerly drank the rest of the fruity drink from earlier and took quick glances at the boy she kissed earlier. Simon, who was sitting next to her, poked her shoulder.

M poked him back. He poked them again. The two ended up in a poke war, due to Simon’s simple stupidity and M’s aggressiveness. Tayla and Dicen eventually joined in as well. At one point, when poking Dicen back, Tayla screeched, “TAG UR IT” and thus the group began to run around the house playing tag while drunk.

The group fell asleep at about 2am. They woke up at about 1pm. All four of them were laying on the living room floor with no blankets and pillows, and were all cuddling together in some way.

Except for Simon, that is. He was the only one that took a pillow from the couch. He had been holding it all night. However, when he woke up, he realized that M had been laying with him. They had been spooning, kind of.

The other two were there as well. Tayla lay against M, facing away. Dicen lay there with an arm around Tayla. And jesus damn, I can’t write this goddamn fanfic without going to the Beta Ships. It’s the only realisticish but awkward ships I can use… Oh well lol.

Simon was the first to wake. He made his way out of M’s arms carefully, trying not to wake her. When he saw how the group had slept, he couldn’t help but chuckle. But, when he did, it felt like he had been punched in the stomach.

Ah.

Hangovers.

What a wonderful experience. Luckily, though, he was just stuck with a mild headache and horrible stomach ache. The others, most likely, won’t be so lucky. Simon grabbed his phone and quickly took pictures of M angerly hugging the pillow in Simon’s place, and the other two practically cuddling.

Once he finished, he looked around the room. All around was cups and glass bottles. They made a huge mess for there only having been four of them. Tayla’s hair was a tangled mess, M’s glasses looked bent in a weird direction, and Dicen never even bothered to take off the dress.

Damn, they were messy.

Simon attempted to clean up some of the mess, then he sat on the couch and played games on his phone until M woke up.

After a little bit, M woke up. They were very grumpy, still. They threw the pillow they had been holding at Simon and said, “Why’d you mooove?” Simon just shrugged, as he normally does. M groaned. “What time is it?”

“Oneish?”

“Damn.” M sat up and looked at the other two. This caused Tayla, whose back was previously against M’s, to curl up closer to Dicen. “Oh my fucking god.”

Simon held up his phone and showed M the picture he had taken. “Send me that,” M found their phone in their pocket and waited for the picture. Once it sent, they saved it and proceeded to send it to Kara. M also sent the video from the night before to her.

Once that was finished, M and Simon were left alone as they waited for their chicken nugget friends to wake up.

With a sigh, M broke the silence, “I’m sorry about last night.”

“What?”

M groaned loudly. “You’re so stupid-” They touched their lips with their fingers. Simon’s eyes lit up and he said, “Oh!”

He looked down, “It’s okay.”

“Not it’s not,” M growled, “I shouldn’t have done that.”

“No, Milian.” Simon frowned, “It’s really okay.”

M covered their face with their hands. “AuGh! You don’t get it!”

Simon scooted closer to M, putting a hand on their shoulder. He waited for M to move their hands away from their face, and when they did, he leaned forward and kissed M.

It surprised M a lot, so it wasn’t long before they pushed him away. “You fuck-“ M choked on their words as they freaked out. “D-don’t stun me like that.”

Simon’s face was red, and he shyly rubbed the back of his head. “Sorry.”

M shook their head. “I-It’s okay.” They glanced at Dicen and Tayla. “Just… let’s not tell those two.” Simon nodded in agreement. “So, breakfast?” M asked, receiving another nod from Simon. The two then walked into the kitchen to get some food.

  After about another hour, Dicen woke up at about 2:30pm. When he woke up, Tayla had her face in her chest. His arm was around her, too. He moved it away before noticing her shiver, then instantly felt bad for moving away.

Why the fuck were they sleeping together on the living room floor, anyway? He felt his head was pounding, and it felt like he was being stabbed in the stomach. He recognized the feeling as a hangover, which kind of explained their situation. Kind of.

He gave Tayla a poke to wake her up. She groaned in her sleep and nuzzled into him, not wanting to wake up, and searching for warmth. Dicen poked her again then shook her gently. “C’mon Tayla,” he said, trying to wake her.

“Mnhh, no-” she sounded upset that she was being woken up, making Dicen feel even worse.

“It’s like two, please?”

She grumbled and turned away, moving away from him. She shivered again and wrapped her arms around herself, obviously cold. Dicen frowned and sat up, looking to see if there was a blanket or anything to cover her. He found one on the couch, picked it up, and laid it on her gently.

Dicen didn’t really remember much of what had happened the night before, but he did have enough common sense to realize he wouldn’t have gotten drunk and slept with only one of his friends. So, he left the living room, in search of the other two.

He found Simon and M in the kitchen. He gave a quick hello to them. “Look who’s finally done cuddling.” M said, their voice edging on annoyed.

“I guess,” Dicen ignored their comment mostly, sitting with his friends at the table. “When did you guys get up?”

M looked at the time on their phone. “’Bout an hour ago.”

“Damn. Well, what happened last night?”

As he asked this, a blue haired female walked into the kitchen with a blanket wrapped around her and a pill bottle in her hand walked into the kitchen. “Do you guys feel horrid too?” She took two of the pills dry and held up the bottle.

Dicen nodded, so she threw the capsule at him. “Thanks,” he mumbled, smiling a little.

Tayla ran a hand through her hand, annoyed at how messy it was. “So what did happen last night?” She stood next to everyone at the table.

Simon pulled out his phone and showed the picture he had taken when he woke up to her and Dicen. “What the fuck?” Tayla asked, confused, her face even a little pink from embarrassment, “I cuddled with him?” She pointed at Dicen.

Dicen nodded his head. “We were cuddling when I woke up.”

“Well fuck?”

“We didn’t fuck,” Dicen pointed to his dress, which had previously gone unnoticed until now. Tayla glanced over it and realized it was her sister’s and she laughed, face palming. “Oh my god,” she wheezed.

M gasped loudly. This was the happiest emotion they had expressed all morning. They excitedly pulled out their own phone saying, “watch this!” they laughed maniacally. M showed Dicen and Tayla the video that ended with them on top of each other.  

“Oh my god,” Dicen laughed nervously, his ears red.

Tayla blushed as well, dying on the inside as she said, “I knew you were a bottom-” She moved away from Dicen a little as she laughed awkwardly.

M grinned more. “Kara had a fun time watching that.” M showed them her reply to the pictures and video.

Dicen grabbed the phone in shock, screeching, “wAiT WHAT” His ears went even brighter red- his face even turning red. “You showed my GIRLFRIEND”

Even Tayla laughed at this a little. Despite feeling like shit and laughing hurting, and the fact that she was the reason it was so awkward and weird, Dicen’s reaction was hilarious.

“Oh my gooooddd,” he complained and took out his phone, presumably to text Kara.

With a sigh, Tayla asked, “Please tell me you guys did something stupid or embarrassing, too.”

Simon and M took a glance at one another. “Nahh.”