#i mean he did technically eat his family he wasn't wrong

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

Barry is the speedforce?

Yeaaaaaaaah?

It's complicated.

He created it, he generates it, he is the avatar of the speedforce, the keystone of the speedforce, he canonically can't be separated from it, he feels pain when the speedforce does, there are ancient prophecies inferring that Barry is the speedforce, ect. One can't live or exist without the other and they are intrinsically linked.

I guess it just depends how much you want to read into the prophecies? You could look at like 'Barry and the Speedforce are soul bonded' or you could look at it like 'the speedforce and Barry are the same and Barry just doesn't know that'. Personally? I go with the latter.

Also this is not to be confused with the time Bart was the speedforce. Because that also happened. All the other speedsters got sucked into the speedforce and Bart ... sucked the speedforce into himself. He became the speedforce and the speedforce became him. So technically at that time Bart was Bart Allen, the Speedforce, Barry Allen, Wally West, Max Mercury and every other speedster at the same time. Twas weird and strange and Bart did not have a fun time with it.

So yeah, usually Barry is the speedforce but it's never explicitly written out, Bart was once but hated it, and Bart&Max are probably the only two speedsters who actually know/understand that.

[grave-z-boy]

are you comfortable with writing about a transman? if so id like to see arthur morgan comforting ftm!reader, maybe calling him a "good boy" to make him happy x

Arthur Morgan x Trans!male!reader

Summary: Reader runs into an old family member and is desperately in need of comfort afterwards. (Once again making excuses to be sad and transgender)

Words: 1264

Warning: hurt/comfort, pre-transition reader is referred to as “dead” and “little girl” by reader, reader threatens his cousin, shitty family members.

A/n: shorter fic cuz I've been banging my head against the wall trying to get the rest of my writing back.

Masterlist

“You need to eat.”

You glanced up at Arthur, the fire between the two of you illuminating him in a orange glow. Your food had gone cold, and you didn’t mean to be wasteful, but today was…a lot. You shifted uncomfortably on the large rock you'd perched yourself on.

“‘M not hungry.”

You heard him sigh as you stared down at your plate.

“You gonna tell me what’s wrong or are you just gonna sit there and sulk.”

“It's nothing-”

It was something, it was definitely something. You went into town on your own, bright and early so you could be in and out of the shops and get back to camp while the sun was still up. That was the plan, pick up some spices, and oddly enough a picture frame, Arthur had asked for it but he said it wasn't for him, probably gonna be a gift of some kind, you didn't think too much about it.

While you were making sure you're satchel was still secure, you heard a familiar voice.

“D/n?” he called from across the street.

You froze, but just for a moment, you tried climbing onto your horse as fast as you could by you were stopped by a firm grip on your shoulder. Turning, you saw him, right in front of you, your cousin, your asshole of a cousin, Damian.

“Well I'll be damned, it is you!”

Taking a breath you said, “Do I know you?”

“‘Do you’- d/n stop playing around!”

His voice was loud, loud enough to garner unwanted attention from those around you.

“I don't know no d/n sir, you've got the wrong man, now you best take your hand off me before you lose it.”

He backed off, a small apologetic yet nervous smile on his face, “sorry, you just uh, look an awful lot like my little cousin.”

Finally mounting your horse, you looked down at the man. You didn't say anything, just holding his gaze in yours for a long moment before giving him a quick nod and riding off.

You rode out of town faster than you should have, gaining various shouts and complaints from the townspeople who'd nearly stepped in your way.

As you broke out into the open road, your mind swelled with thoughts.

D/n was dead, she’d been dead a long, long time and you really didn't need reminders of her life, especially not the parts she hated.

You didn't want to hate your cousin, you just did. He was an ass and so was the rest of his family, you guess that technically included you too, but you never really felt like they were your family- even when you were little. You were different, so they treated you different. You never knew what tipped them off so early. Maybe you played with the boys too much, or you were too rough with the girls. Whatever it was, they knew before you did, they considered their daughter dead before she was, and they treated you like you killed her.

You liked being dead now, you thought you wouldn't have to worry about your family anymore, they had a whole funeral for you and everything, you figured that they'd move on, that if you did run into them, they'd take you as a ghost and nothing more. Your cousin was always an asshole though, and could never quiet get with the program, that made y'all alike in some ways, but mostly it just drew a bigger rift between you and your family. Everybody loved him, but they hated you, wasn't that funny?

You skid to a stop right outside of camp, zoning back into your surroundings just in time. Hoping off your horse, petting her for a short moment before tying her to a post.

It didn't take long for Arthur to find you, having only been in camp a couple of minutes before he spotted you. Before he even reached you, he could see the grim look on your face as you sat on your cot, glaring at the ground.

Arthur sat next to you, rubbing your back with his hand for a short moment. Arthur wasn't really a touchy person, not in front of people at least, a soothing touch on the back was as close to a kiss as you'd get with this many people around.

You glanced up at him, meeting his eyes for a short moment before starting back down at the ground below.

It didn't take much for him to convince you to take a ride with him, especially when he offered to let you ride his horse with him, you appreciated it, knowing that yours would have bucked you off the moment you saddled her after you nearly ran her through camp. You almost felt bad- when you climbed on the horse behind Arthur, watching him avert his gaze from anyone who looked in your direction.

He wasn't ashamed, you knew that, he was just private, didn't like it when people paid too much attention to your relationship, or you at all for that matter.

You rode together for a long while, once you figured the road was clear enough, you wrapped your arms around Arthur and rested against his back, you felt him tense, then ask if you were okay, you nodded, he relaxed after a moment, quietly continuing down the road, he knew you weren't alright, not fully, but he figured talking could wait a couple of hours.

Now you're here, you sat on a rock while Arthur set up camp, when you mumbled an offer to help, he shot it down, reassuring you it was fine.

By the time food was cooked, the sun had set completely, the fire being the only source of light.

“- I swear I just…ran into somebody today.”

You could here the faint clink of silverware against the bowl as Arthur set it to the side.

“‘Somebody’ like who?”

You sighed.

“Like my cousin, Damien, ran into him in town today.”

You weren't fully sure you told Arthur about Damien, but when you looked up at him over the fire you could see a look of annoyance on his face, so you had to at least have mentioned him and his aggravating exploits.

“It's stupid, I just… I don't know. I thought that I would never run into them again, or maybe that they wouldn't recognize me if they did. But he called that little girl's name and it just felt like my heart had stopped.”

Starting down at the dirt, you heard Arthur push himself up off the ground, the dirt crunching beneath his boots. Then he was sitting right next to you, the stone just big enough to hold two queers at once. Meeting his eyes again, you opened your mouth to speak, but all that came out was a long, tired sigh.

“I know, “ he said, his voice so calm and soft, a tone reserved for those that deserved it, “come here, boy..”

And you did, leaning your head on his shoulder, buried in the nook of his neck, your arms just barely around him in an effort. He wrapped his arms around you far tighter, pulling you into him, feeling your shallow breaths as the day's events replayed in your mind.

“That's it, good boy,” he muttered.

A small smile formed on your face. You hummed in contentment, squeezing him a bit tighter, forcing a small chuckle out of him.

“You liked that?” you nodded, he laughed again.

“It's helping..”

“I'll keep that in mind.”

[mikuni14]

Dead Friend Forever - Ep 10

The tenth episode of the technically BL series which I rate 10/10. What a time to be alive 💖

While watching this episode I was very angry at Phee for not shutting up and then at Jin when he was yelling and being rude to my sweet little creature Tan, but I decided not to judge them (and not to theorize about other stuff) because:

the behavior of all the characters in this episode was strange, off and very sus, so who knows what they are really doing and thinking

I'm drinking an alcoholic beverage as I write this, so I'm very chill 😄

Could Phee actually tell Jin the whole truth and Jin accept it and not make it a big deal? Yes. This is, in my opinion, believable behavior from both of them. Phee is not a cute lil freak like Tan, he doesn't have as much to lose as Tan, he has something to come back to, unlike Tan, he has a home, a parent. Tan has nothing. Jin could be just tired. Tired of what happened in the past, of his guilt, of being hunted now, of not getting enough sleep, of not eating or having a moment to rest and think, of being constantly on fear-inducing hallucinogenic drugs. Phee confessing the truth because he didn't sign up for murder and Jin forgiving him quite easily are both believable. But as with White, Tee, Fluke, there was something strange, something off, in their scenes. Like their facial expressions at certain moments. Weird words. As for Phee - an ax lying coveniently there? A bottle of poisoned water that only Jin drinks? (I can't believe Phee didn't feel like drinking either, they're sweaty, it's night, it's hot, they haven't had anything to drink for a long time) Then all the marks on the trees were different, so I don't know if it was supposed to be the same tree all along? Phee left the ax outside? And it's strange that Phee knew exactly what Tan had done without even seeing it, like removing those cameras' views, or pulling the wire - how did he know it was Tan? I don't know. It was all so strange 🤔 As if… several things were happening at once, several independent revenges? Multiple agendas? Unexpected alliances? Hm. Whatever! No thinking, only vibing 🥳

SORRY, WRONG PIC LOL kinda hot tho I MEAN THIS VIBING:

Por and Top were wounded in the same place 🙂

I don't know if it's a fuck up of the people responsible for the costumes, or it's someone else, but the masked killer attacking Tee and Tan had different clothes underneath than Top.

Of course, I can't help but write how much I love Tan, how much I can't get enough of him, how Mio plays him, shows his facial expression, I'm absolutely crazy about him. Look at him sitting on a throne of lies, manipulation and the corpses of his family's enemies. Look at my son and despair 😍! I thought Por's death wasn't in the plan, and it turns out I was wrong. And you know what, I'm cool with being wrong hehe. There are so few characters like this that I clung to him like a child to its mother's skirt. He reminds me of Charn from Laws of Attraction, Kang Yo Han from The Devil Judge, or MLs from Beyond Evil, I love all of them, so Tan also has my heart and devotion.

Watching DFF is an amazing experience. I'm just having total, pure fun, I feel giddy, the show keeps me on the edge of my seat and on my toes. Not a second is wasted, each character is used to its full potential (even Top lol). I was recently talking to a friend about TV series and he told me that lately, every series he watches, he watches and scrolls on his phone at the same time. Well, what can I say, rel. DFF is a series that has my 100% attention 😤

[tanglebrookwrites]

New Version of the "Unnamed FNAF AU I'm Currently Writing."

This is the first part of what I wrote, it's not even finished. Meaning the first chapter, not even the first fic, or the entire fic.

This is the beginning of my personal AU.

It's also now named. No, I will not be actually naming it until I have more written. You can call it the Roots Remain AU, because that is part of the title.

Warnings for an unreliable narrator (Michael internalized that guilt and remorse for years from the Bite of '83, he thinks he killed his brother, it's only like one line though), William Afton (man needs an entire warning to himself, not just murderous intentions or something), and the use of the words bastard, damn, and fuck.

[Word Count: 859]

The smoke was thick, making it impossible to breathe. Flames licked at the underside of the door in front of him, his route to an exit burning up yet again. He stared at the fire in front of him, slowly eating away at the door. With shaking hands, he brought his fingers to the string keeping the now soot-stained bear mask on his face.

The mask itself was cute, in his opinion. Cream colored, a little fuzzy at the edges, and quaint little ears that his blackened hair conveniently fell around, so they popped through. Though, now, that same mask was covered in black, fire and smoke tainting the once bright color.

His uniform was much the same, the suit he was wearing now colored with ash and flames.

He couldn't just give up here, he had to make sure his father was dead. He had to make sure that child murdering bastard never made it out of here. He had to make sure that everyone else was safe from William Afton.

His mask came off, the string finally untying, and he took in big gulps of air into his non-existent lungs. The skin on his face, his entire body, was purpled, long having been cut off from blood flow and air. With the bear mask on, he was the manager and technical co-owner of Freddy Fazbear's Pizza Place, Mike Schmidt, but without?

He was once again that bastard's son, the boy who killed his brother, Michael Afton.

He held the mask in his hands, staring at it, trying to comprehend just where everything went wrong. He was supposed to get out, damn it! His uncle had said there was an exit for him-

His head whipped back and forth, searching for the exit, the one that was promised to him, so he could escape. The flames were licking at his decayed skin, but he couldn't feel it, he hadn't felt anything since that cursed day, the day he became what he was now. Black, hollow sclera with bright white pupils and irises in the center, watching the world move on as his body fell apart further and further.

The man's hair was starting to burn away, and honestly, he didn't know how it was still there after all those years of stress and being undead. He would have thought because he didn't have a working body anymore, everything would have started to collapse and fade away. He was only partly right. And he hated it.

Everything was on fire, and just like the last time the man was surrounded by flames, he wasn't the cause. In Fazbear's Fright: The Horror Attraction, which was just a replica of Fredbear's Family Diner, the still-exposed wiring sparked near the leaking gas pipes. They had never told him that the gas was combustible. It didn't help that his fucking father was there, trapped inside that damn Spring Bonnie suit.

Shaking his head, Michael forced himself back to the present. He slowly stood on shaky legs, and stumbled over to where he remembered his last remaining exit was. That had to be the one Henry promised, but in his stupid speech (which, really, did Henry think he knew what Michael was thinking at any time? The answer was no. Michael never wanted to stay here and die. He wanted to make sure his father was burned to ashes, and then probably pass through life as a hermit or something), he had said that there was a way out.

Was.

Did that mean his exit was no more? No, he could see it ahead, a straight shot to the outside, to freedom, to life, the emergency exit light dim with all the fire in his vision, burning his long-dead retinas. The final exit, the last one he knew of.

Then, because of course the universe had to be out to get him, the roof caved, right in front of that exit.

He collapsed where he stood, black tears starting to drip from his eyes, streaking down his blistering face, his tear ducts unable to produce water for decades at that point. Michael's mind halted. Why him? Why did it all have to happen to him?

With a rage he thought himself incapable of, he ripped his name tag off, and threw it in the flames. The cheap plastic was burning away, the name that read Mike S. soon turning to something unreadable, until the plastic was just a molten puddle on the ground.

He could hear heavy thumping behind him, but he didn't mind. He may have Remnant running through him, what was left of him, but he knew he wasn't going to survive this. Scrap Baby, the broken down clown animatronic his sister's soul resided in, came into his peripheral view, staring at him in that eerie way animatronics do.

"M-M-Mike-ey?" she said, the voice box that allowed her to speak glitching out frequently. Michael faced her, expression unbelieving.

"He said I would be able to get out," the man whispered. "He said I would be able to live." He turned back to stare at the now burning exit, hope extinguished from his chest.

[eternally-smitten]

Selfshiptember: Plant Sitting

pairing: Ignacio x Natalie

summary: While away, Natalie trusts Ignacio to take care of her venus fly trap

word count: ~1.5k

author's note: okay so the prompt said "babysitting/petsitting" but i was looking at my venus fly trap (yes i included a photo. my little baby is at the end under the cut :)) and got inspired! everyone thank Audrey II for this fic <3

Ignacio looked at the little plant in his hands curiously. Its small size made his rough, calloused hands seem huge compared. He eyed it carefully, almost as if he looked away for a moment it would drop dead in an instant. 

"Alright, I wrote down the instructions but you know you can always call me if you need any help." Natalie packed up the last of her luggage while talking to him, "Or, you can always just call me for fun! I wouldn't mind that at all."

"Are you sure about this?" He asked quietly, still cradling the venus fly trap, "I mean, I've never taken care of a plant before. I'm a car guy, you know that."

She looked over her shoulder and gave him a reassuring smile, "It'll be okay! It's really not that hard! I know I called my little Audrey II prissy but you can handle it!"

He pursed his lips and looked away from the plant for the first time since he started holding it, "What if I do it wrong? I know how much it means to you, mi amor."

"You won't! You can't mess up watering it!" Natalie thought for a moment, "Well, you technically can mess it up but I know you won't! I left the distilled water out for you and the instructions on the fridge!"

"What about feeding it? I know it, uh, eats…bugs." He muttered that last bit with a grimace on his face. 

She giggled a little at his expression, "It'll be okay. It doesn't need to be fed everyday or anything! If you're really worried about that, just leave it outside! It'll attract food all on its own like it would in the wild!"

"But its-"

"Ignacio," She pressed a sweet, gentle kiss on his lips and curled her hand around the back of his neck, "My sweet, it'll be okay. I trust you! All you need to do is make sure it's in the sun and to check its water every now and then. I won't be gone for long so I doubt you'll even have to do much, okay?"

Ignacio immediately missed her kiss as soon as she pulled away, "I'll miss you terribly and so will little Audrey here."

"Audrey II you mean." She corrected him, smirking a bit. 

"Yes, Audrey II, my mistake." He smiled back, feeling a bit more confident now, "I'll send you updates while you're away."

"Thank you," Natalie grabbed her luggage and sadly waved goodbye, "I'll be back soon, I promise you. That's the downside to moving so far away from your family, you're expected to fly over as soon as any big event happens."

"I'll be here waiting for you." He waved back, "And so will Audrey II, of course. Goodbye, corazoncito, see you when you get back."

"Love you both lots!"

Ignacio watched as his beloved girlfriend left and shut the door behind her. He stared at the door in silence for a few seconds as if he expected her to come back and say she changed her mind about going. Of course, she did leave and he was happy for her. He just missed her a lot already. His eyes looked away from their front door and back to her venus fly trap. All its little mouths were open and to him, it looked like they were all afraid of him. 

"Looks like it's just us, pequeña planta." He chuckled, very gently grazing the side of its mouth with his pointer finger.

The plant felt smooth like plastic. He was almost convinced it was fake. Then, Ignacio decided to put it back in its usual sunny spot in the windowsill and leave it be. He couldn't stop staring at it, though. It felt weird being in charge of somethings well-being even if it was just a tiny plant. At least it wasn't babysitting, he thought to himself, then he really would have no clue as to what to do. 

After what felt like forever, Natalie finally arrived at her destination. Once she got to her hotel room, she collapsed into bed and threw her shoes off. She also searched through her bag to check her phone for the first time since she left and found that she had a few unread messages from Ignacio. 

The first one read, "Accidentally got water on the plant and the mouth thing shut. Is it ok??? Pls help" And it was quickly followed up with "Oh it's normal. That happens with rain when they're wild I guess? Looked it up just now. Sorry. Audrey II is ok"

Then, he sent an awkward looking selfie of him holding the bowl the plant was in with the caption "We both miss you already. I miss you more tho…don't tell the plant I said that. They eat meat, right? I don't wanna be its lunch."

Natalie kept beaming at her phone. She always loved getting texts from Ignacio, but he was such a dry texter that it didn't happen a lot. Now that she left her prized fly trap with him, he's been filling her in on all sorts of updates. It made her extremely happy. 

She replied back, "LOL! My two loves <3 miss u too. Just got to my hotel. Call soon?"

She set her phone down for maybe five seconds before it started to buzz and light up. Natalie giggled to herself and picked it up, "Wow, that was quick."

"Just happy to hear your voice, I guess." She could hear him smiling as he spoke, "How was your trip? Good, I hope."

"Well, driving gets boring after a while. I mean, an hour or so into it you keep seeing the same desert and the same road signs." She confessed, twirling her hair with her fingers, "But, I'm here now and I'm glad I finally have a chance to speak with you."

Ignacio let out a sigh of relief when he heard that her trip was okay, "Your plant finally opened by the way. I just had to wait a few hours."

"Yeah, they're more resilient than you think! I think you're getting the hang of it, though."

"Really?" He sounded surprised, "I keep checking on it to make sure it's okay. I know how much it means to you."

"You're doing great, Nacho. I promise you." She grinned, even though he couldn't see her, "You're better at taking care of things than you think, hon."

He stumbled over his words, "Thank you, mi amor." He paused, “Your words always soothe me.”

Natalie was almost grateful that he couldn’t see her in person right now with how hot her cheeks were, “You’re too sweet. Hey, with this little plant, we’re almost like parents!” She cringed as she said that last sentence. It sounded weird comparing them to actual parents or talking about parenthood with him, even as a joke.

Ignacio went quiet for a little while before saying, “I guess so. Huh, never thought about that. I mean…Until I met you, maybe.”

“R-Really?” She coughed out, “Who knew my little leafy baby could bring this sorta side out of us?”

“Yeah, who knew?” He said softly, “You sound exhausted, love. Go get some rest, okay?”

A yawn escaped her mouth as he said that. She was feeling pretty beat, “Oh, but I’ll miss you.”

“I know and I’ll miss you right back.” There was a hint of sadness in Ignacio’s voice, “Here, I’ll send you a good night picture of Audrey II over here and promise you that I will call you first thing in the morning. How does that sound?”

Natalie hesitated slightly. She wanted to talk to him forever. She could fall asleep just listening to him talk about mundane things. Her head did feel heavy and her body was begging to stretch out under the covers, though, so she knew he was right.

“Alright,” She finally agreed, “But I won’t rest until I see that picture of my two favorite things in the world together. That’s a threat.”

“Oh, I’m so frightened.” He chuckled, “Guess I better do what you say, huh? Well, let me go do that then. I’ll talk to you later.”

“See ya,” She hung up and eagerly waited to watch her phone light up with a notification from him. A few minutes passed with nothing. Natalie grew a little impatient so got ready for bed while she waited in hopes that while she was away, Ignacio would message her and she could sleep soundly. Her wish came true because when she returned after freshening up, she found a text from him. There was another picture of him holding the plant up to his face. He looked a lot less awkward now and he was warmly smiling at the camera. He included the caption “For you” with some little heart emojis next to it.

Natalie immediately saved the picture and made it her wallpaper before replying with, “Thank u!! Goodnight <3 :)”

She shut off the lamp beside her bed and sunk into the cushy mattress. She continued to fondly look at the photo he sent her until her eyelids were too heavy. Knowing her prized possession was with the world’s best plant dad made her feel at ease as she slowly drifted to sleep.

tag list: @rainy-day-ships @bobmckenzie @wanderers-wife @williameaston @danireblogs @gideongrovel @cherrypieships @hollandmarchsdork let me know if you want to be added/removed!

and of course, as promised, here is my little baby!

I raised it from just a little tiny root! It's a little hard to see, but there are five mouths and a sixth one coming in! :D

[crzyimp]

Chapter 9.

Reading this chapter another time, then and now, left me somber. It starts out joyful with our favorite monk's parents' meeting. His father, Guangrui, gained a blessing to go to the capital for examination and job; getting first in rank and personally being praised by the Tang Emperor. Spent 3 days on horseback going around the capital. Then we're introduced of Xuanzang's mother, Yin Wenjiao(referred to as just Lady Yin later on), who sees a handsome, smart, and high ranking official during his 3 day parade; throws down a embroidered ball at her future husband knocking off his black cap. Though I like to think she went: "YOU!" pointing at him from the tower and aimed for his head. Really making sure that this guy's dense and doesn't get a hint. Actually, does that mean she technically proposed to him? Anyways they get married, move to city for Guangrui job, and picked up his mother along the way. Even saved a golden carp and sending it back to its river! Guangrui mother gets sick and forced to stay at a rent house. A little bump in the road, but that's fine since the couple can retrieve her in the fall.

Then Liu Hong appears captivated by Lady Yin's beauty and rips the young couple future away by killing Guangrui and stealing his identity. Forcing Lady Yin to comply to his demands. They dump Gaungrui's body in the river where thanks to saving, not actually a carp, his body and soul is preserved until his is avenged by his murderers.

Lady Yin is miserable in her situation, wishing to eat Liu Hong body and sleep on his skin. But kept her dark thoughts to herself and didn't enact on them; as she was pregnant with our monk! But not happy news as Bastard Liu Hong will kill our future protag the second he gets the chance. Thanks to divine intervention and luck, Lady Yin manages to send the baby away. By writing a letter in her own blood and biting off one of his toes before sending him off on river; tied by her garment before found by a monk.

So our monk, nicked River Float, and then called Xuanzang once he turned eighteen and joined the monetary; he learned of his orgins and set off to right wrongs. He succeeded, reuniting his mother, who helped him get in contact with grandfather. Who later just destroyed Liu Hong in a brutal fashion. I strongly don't think Xuanzang was there to see that part as he was probably with his mother, who already tried to kill herself once saved. She does it again after they toss Liu Hong's heart and liver into the river, seeing her husband body floated up. Who comes back to life!

Happiness as Xuanzang's family all together again, his father joins the Emperor court, and he continues with his studies in the Way. Except for Lady Yin, who succeeds in taking her life. Bittersweet ending.

Now for my notes and theories. You cannot tell me that this boy wasn't bullied by his peers for being an orphan. He had nothing, no name, probably no friends, and put all his efforts into studying the scripture as a source of comfort or even proving his worth to be there. (I could ramble more on his upbringing and the similarites with him and Wukong's background, but that could be for another day)

Besides the luck and divine intervention(and Sha Wujing eating his past lives), another clue that Xuanzang might be special is when he cured his grandmother blindness by licking her eyelids.

Or the pain and guilt that despite everything he did failed to save his mother.

But that's enough rambling from me for now.

@journeythroughjourneytothewest

[bullshit-bulltrue]

☆ hawk talk 8/14/23 ☆

so i found out that my school practically treats PDA as The Big Bad Sin™️

like literally in our handbook it says it is NOT tolerated under ANY means

so like

even if i had the courage to hug my friends

i fucking can't

unless the monitors aren't paying attention but like

what if one day i'm like crying in the hallway and my bestie sees me and wants to give me a hug

but like they can't 0_0

and vice-versa

FUCK

okie. anyway.

lanie is out of town visiting family :(

BUT I STILL GOT TO EAT LUNCH WITH SOMEONE

and if you've been following along, you would know the person i ate lunch with is Delgado

✨️✨️✨️

we'll go back to that in a sec, i promise (highlight of my day)

so since it was an odd day i went to history & geo first

so we get there and we have a debate on whether school should start earlier/same time or later

and i of course backed up my reasoning with evidence unlike everyone else

they're all dumbasses

and the sleezy hoebags behind me started trying to fuck with my hair

but then i hit one of them <3

so then mr. m had us go over the fire drill and where to go in case of smth happening during his period

so we went outside and lined up where we would in case of an emergency

and then the desk buddy bitch asked for the answers to a quiz and i gave her the wrong ones <3

so then that was it for history & geo

andddd it turns out that delgado passes the math room on his way to his next period so i have to make sure i don't look like utter shit BEFORE MATH TOO

i felt bad tho bc i almost hit him 😭😭

so when i was walking towards the math room my back was turned to him so i obvi didn't know it was him when he tapped me on the shoulder

and it scared the crap outta me cus the recent school day (last friday) some dick did that to me and i hit him

and i thought it was the same guy

but it wasn't, it was delgado <3

and he just wanted to make sure we were still good for lunch and this is how the convo went:

d: *taps my shoulder* hey so lunch today, right?

me: *puts fist down after i realized it was him* yeah!

d: oh and also what do you have for first period?

me: [insert history & geo teacher's name]

d: oh cool. where you going next?

me: math with Mr. H. right here *points at door*

d: *groans* i just came back from math. that's my first fucking period 🙄

me: *laughs* ahh it's my 2nd. well, technically 3&4 but ykwim (if you need me to explain the schedules lmk)

d: Okay well i gtg

me: yeah me too, see you in like an hour or some shit *smiles and waves*

d: *smiles and waves back*

sooooo

then math

these bitches at my table

are fucking horrible

i'm trying to do a placement exam

and they keep talking

like BITCH I DID NOT MAKE IT TO AN ACCELERATED CLASS JUST FOR Y'ALL TO BE THE REASON WHY I FAILED

TAKE YOUR ASSES AND CHEAT ON THE EXAM SOMEWHERE ELSE HOES

I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR YOUR BULLSHIT

"wElL Mr H sAiD wE CaN tAlK" "We ArEnT eVeN bEiNg LoUd"

SHUT THE FUCK UP

HE SAID WE CAN TALK ABOIT MATH AND UR LITERALLY TALKING ABOUT YO UGLY ASS FACE

so that was fun.

oh and also Mr. H (the teacher) draws so we can like give him a photo and he'll draw like the outline and give it back to us to color and then hang it up in the room!! so i'm gonna ask him if he can draw Stitch or smth so i can color it and hang it in the classroom!

yk if i remember lol

oh and like towards the end of class i went to the bathroom to fix myself up a little bit™️ bc on odd days i have

✨️english class✨️

after math <3

so i put on my favorite lipstick and tamed my hair a bit more and just made sure my clothes looked alright and shit lol

i also cleaned up my boots too while i was at it <3

i love my boots so much

i want moreee

like

actually i don't want more

i NEED more

if i had the money, i would be a doc martens addict and i'd have hundreds of pairs

but alas

bitches are expensive

*sads*

okeu anywayy

i get back to class and these hoes are still talking about the girliest shit ever i literally was going to kill myself if i had to listen to anymore of it

so then we started packing up and then we left

AND THENNNN

ENGLISH CLASS TIME

so we all lined up outside the door bc the teacher wasn't in yet (Mrs. K)

and i tried to stand next to him (delgado) but this bitch got in line RIGHT before me so she was in-between us :/

but thats alr cus he sorts slowed down in line and i caught up so we walked in the room around the same time

and i was wearing a shirt with a Mexican food place and Mrs. K was like "oh my gosh that's my favorite Mexican restaurant in [insert location]!!" and i was like "yeah its pretty good. well, for white people cooking the food. the only real Mexican food you get is from Mexico, or your mamás kitchen" and delgado looked at me like he knew lol so that's when he sorta started catching on that I'm Mexican too

it's nice not to have to tell someone about my ethnicity for once and them figuring it out on their own

so yeah <3

and we had to finish these state mandated tests bc we got only like halfway done on friday

so me and delgado were writing each other notes and doodles to help keep ourselves awake and not fall asleep during that godforsaken fucking test 😭😭

so after we got done (we finished our tests around the same time lol) Mrs. K let us kinds do our own thing as long as we weren't disruptive

so i read DPS and he was playing some game on his Chromebook

and it was so funny bc he had his chromebook on mute but you can tell when he lost and stuff bc he would make a fist and be like "noooo" really quietly

idk

it was funny to me, at least

and there was someone's alarm going off and it sounded like the beep a bomb makes before it goes off

and ofc my mind immediately went to JD <3

and then me, delgado, baseball guy, and d's short bestie all looked at each other like "you hear that 👀"

and then me and delgado crossed ourselves and said "el padre, el hijo y el espíritu santo" but he said it in english lol

and like he's so sweet

so not only did he double check we were still eating lunch together in the hallway but he also asked again at the end of english class

ik it may not seem like anything to you but it means a lot to me

bc i'm always the one to make sure plans are still plans and i feel annoying for asking so many times and that i'm bothering the other person and it just feels nice to have someone else take the time to ask, yk?

so it also turns out our lockers aren't that far away from each other's so even though he's English Class Crush™️ he also qualifies as Hallway Crush™️

speaking of hallway crushes

yk Luca? his locker and also Mikey's (Michael, but we all call him Mikey) lockers are close-ish to mine

so yeah that's great/sarc

it is, in fact, not great.

BECAUSE THAT MEANS I CANNOT RISK LOOKING LIKE SHIT IN THE MORNING

i mean i make sure i always look somewhat good before i leave the house

BUT STILL

anyway

we go to lunch and his friend Alex comes along and im like ooo cool i get to meet his friend

and i sat down and saved us some seats while they went to get the food from the lunch people

so when they come and sit down i was hoping that i would sit next to delgado bc that was the whole fucking point of eating lunch with him

but Alex sits his ass right in between us

but like ig Alex is a protective friend or smth?? idk but like yeah i didn't take offense or anything bc id be the same way

we were stil able to talk tho <3

and anyway they come and sit down and the lunch for the 14th was grilled cheese

but lemme tell you

that, was in fact, not grilled cheese

it looked like two soggy pieces of bread with orange food coloring in the middle

that cheese? was NOT cheese

and i was like oh hell nah no way is Boy Bestie™️ eating whatever the fuck that government looking waste was

so i was like dude have what you want out of my lunch, there's no way you're eating that on my watch

and i was like hey Alex you can go ahead and eat my lunch too

so Alex took the dragonfruit and smth else i think

and delgado had the tortillas mi mamá packed for me

again, i wasn't hungry at all because i had thrown up earlier but i forced myself to eat something before i passed out

oh and forgot to mention

delgado fr said "AYYY MEXICAN STYLEEE" bc i had the tortillas wrapped up in tinfoil and some chorizo con papas y huevos and i was like "HELL YEAHHH"

idk if the white people understand this or not but like this was a bonding moment for us bc there aren't a whole lot of mexicans at our school

so like to see that we're apart of the same culture is really nice

oh and he was also like "my mom makes that like every morning!" and i was like "my mom made it yesterday and decided to pack me some for lunch!"

i would've given him like a fist bump or smth but i wasn't gon put my arm across Alex to get to delgado cus like

just no

so anyway sometime in the middle of lunch i was eating my food and then

poof

woosh

*shimmery sound effects*

THEY'RE GONE

I DON'T KNOW HOW OR WHEN BUT THESE BITCHES JUST VANISHED

SO THEN I WAS LIKE NO NO NO I'M GONNA HAVE TO BE ALONE FOR THE NEXT 20 MINUTES WHYYY

but i didn't wanna move and go look for them bc not only are we not allowed to i also thought maybe they just needed to go the the bathroom

so i just sat there looking like a kicked puppy with sad eyes because i'm not fucking tall enough to look for them in the crowd of gross teenagers

so i just sit there and text my friend because when i lose my friends (and this has happened since elementary) i get really aggressive bc i get overstimed so yk i texted my friend to calm myself down

anyway

lunch over

i get my shit from my locker and head to gym

we go over where we will sit for attendance

and then we go over fire drill procedures and shit

and then we spend most of our time doing jackshit

and like the last 20 minutes of class coach was like okay you can play basketball with the boys orstand around idrc bc we only have a little but till the end of the day

so i channeled my inner white girl and just watched delgado play basketball

and like he's one of the only guys who actually knows how to fuckin play 😭😭

also this one kid got hit in the back of the head and fell straight forward and on his face like a looney tunes character

comedic gold right there

and at the end of phys ed me and delgado were walking the same direction bc our lockers are near each other's and it looks like we're gonna have lunch again on Wednesday since that's the next time i have 3rd lunch <3

so yeah i hope i was midly entertaining

it's 1:36am and i gotta get up at 6:30am so goodnight and sorry for not Finnishing this earlier, i got caught up in something

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

speed reading or skipping paragraphs is a thing both me and my mom

(amazing person) (had me so late i only knew her as cool old lady) (the only reason me and my half siblings and technically not related at all but fuck that siblings got to grow up as family bc she fought tooth and nail with her exes for it) (and by fought i mean gritted her teeth and was polite to the vindictive assholes bc her exs had money and legal status and connections and an education that translated properly so they could have white color jobs while she was being a single mom below the poverty line working part time jobs still somehow making her kids feel like they lived in a magical wonderland and she was the dragon who'd eat anyone that tried hurting us)

had in common

(she died almost a year ago the first anniversary is coming up this is fine)

she grew up also poor af in her home country but her parents sent her to a RICH GIRLS PRIVATE SCHOOL bc her grades were good and this nuclear scientist Doctor Doctor -insert name here- who couldn't do the most simple everyday things (her husband was the same) and was in actual awe of my grandma (who cleaned for them) 's ability to figure out how to hang a picture straight or fix the plumbing

(grandma led her catatonic older sister across an active war zone as a teen and also told stories to my mom about mice who came out at night to read scraps of newspaper she left on the floor for them, she was legally blind and still walking a mile to the local store when i knew her, didn't care a fuck that i didn't know her language and i actually learned several family stories from her somehow)

the Doctor Doctor was convinced my mom would be stifled in a normal school, hence the Everybody Else Here Own A Pony And A Summer House Meanwhile We're Living On The Shack By The House My Dad Is Building For Someone Else situation with mom in rich girls school because of her scores

But

the thing is, my mom was kinda shit at school

(she almost failed one class bc the professor got pissed she wouldn't treat him like a god as a good student should so she refused to do anything in his class except fight with him and he DID fail her, but the other teachers and principle had her do a test and whoops turns out she'd learned his class better on her own than most of his students hehheheh fifty years later she was still gloating about it)

and this has to do with speed reading and skipping because, in one class, you were supposed to take turns reading out of a book and then later pick a topic to write a paper on

well my mom's turn would come, and bc she was like me, she wouldn't actually read the words. She'd see the shape of the sentence, scan the first letter of every line down the page, add that to the topic at hand, and kinda just FEEEL what the section was about

you'd think someone would notice she wasn't reading it right but she was So Confident and Casual about it i guess everyone just went "well i must be reading it wrong her version sounds right"

this worked for her!

until the paper came due, and she was asked to read hers in front of the class

well she hadn't written anything, turns out.

So my mom (who outside of school drifted between wearing boys clothes to scare off her friends exes or leather mini skirts with fishnet stockings and no undies depending on her mood) she picked up a BLANK piece of paper, stood up, and read out the Best, Most Well Thought Out And Insightful Paper her professor had heard all day

good, right? easy peasy pass grade. cheato completo

unfortunately the professor liked it Too much

and they asked. for a copy

So my poor mom had to admit that not only was her brilliant little paper an imaginary thing that didn't exist, she ALSO had to cop to all the OTHER times she hadn't been reading from the book, just to prove to her teacher that her paper WAS fake

(my mom had a real strong if weird sense of integrity. she'd bend the rules into a pretzel, but she hated the idea of being thought of as a Liar, when it was just for personal selfish reasons)

(lying to help someone else was another thing zero fucking hesitation there only gleeful dramatics)

now im not anywhere near my mom in coolness levels, but i also have the thing of skipping around when reading and going by shape and recreating what it might say based on other clues instead of just, seeing each word individually

a lot of the times it works!

it's also why I Can't Get A Driver's License

Reading Manuals Doesn't Work For Me And There's No School Or Instructor Place In Reach So My Can't Drive I'm Gay Credential Is Permanent! It's enforced! I've been assigned pedestrian by whatever the hell seemingly inheritable trait it is that made me and my mom find books in the library via size, color, geographic location and anything OTHER than the gods-damned TITLE!!

(thnx mom) (had to hold the instructions for instant mac and cheese physically in front of my face the entire time it cooked) (you'd have laughed) (i laughed instead tho don't worry) (miss you <3)

[thirstyforred]

so im still thinking about Roderick and Albrecht and the whole thing in general z and I guess the main thing that puts them at each other's throats (and connects them, unfortunately) is ofc JdA. no brainer that one. but what I mean is that while for funny/torturing/even thematic to a degree reasons Rod never had sex with JdA (tho they were intimate in "weird fucking ways" that aren't exactly about sex 😌), Albrecht did fuck.

and you may ask, but thirsty, didn't you say that Albrecht is straight and doesn't believe in bisexuality as well? i did, and that's still true, and I'll say that his same-sex experiences we're just more about power (extorted on him by JdA, or power struggle against Rod), it's just way different than his experiences with women (even older ones that technically also involved some sorts of power plays)

JdA/Alvin/Jack (JdA is like a spoiler for what's coming, wrong in so many ways, Alvin is too personal, besides it's a secret for Rod but not Albrecht, Jack is fun, is playful, is a transitional lie, perfect for this purpose) approached Albrecht he was still in Ban Ard, years before the Order, before the Nilf Wars. In some tavern in the city, slightly older than young students, but not that old, interesting, but spewing nonsense. I imagine Jack would just drop the bomb of Source, time magic, maybe even a hint or two about White Frost, the Spiral, in some dark corner over shared drinks, enough to start the fire of curiosity. Sex is just a spice - imagine being young and brilliant, predisposed to look for approval for others, suddenly getting mysteries of the universe and prostate orgasm? Hooked.

but Jack actually doesn't want a Ban Ard mage, later Salamandra is likely full of those, what he needs is someone understanding theory and applying it somewhere else. Priests hate the thought, but really what's the difference between a miracle and powerful spell? And so, Albrecht's role is to join the Church. He doesn't get it at first, reasons why, why take your time with meticulously planning in the first place, so Jack has to give him hands on presentation. Albrecht has this big burn scar on his arm, shoulder and side, it happened while at Ban Ard, not at Ban Ard, and there was no more Ban Ard for him after that. Something something, sometimes devotion can be born from the least like places. Like cruelty. (But in some way it fits with evolution of Fire in the Church, the return of mage hunters)

(i have another thought about Albrecht's family, Kovir and mage hunting, but there would be tiny spoilers for my ttrpg campaign ig, so i shan't)

anyway, aside from annoying Rod with all of it (the amount of time, the sex, the scar that wasn't healed away), I feel like there's a need to sort Alvin x Hubert situation as well, like was Alvin cheating? bc the timelines are fluid for one of them, and anyway I like to think that they were together since Alvin's twenties, when he was in Rissberg. There is some sort of agreement - Alvin thinks of Hubert as his soul mate but understands and he deals with something that's no human (no matter how good he wears that suit). I can see however Hubert being annoyed and frustrated about the thing with Roderick, it's weird, it's too intimate, just fuck him and be done, or better let me just eat him... But he straight up doesn't consider Albrecht. Ig they would know each other, both involved in the Church, but Hubert has no opinions on him. (While in turn Albrecht is curious, bc he can see there's something deeply running between JdA and the good doctor (but funnily, unlike Rod, he's unaware that Rejk isn't human))

[lichdragon-fortissax]

great write up of Ranni honestly. Any thoughts on Rykard? Fascinating guy, love his wholesome family vibes while also, you know, trying to destroy the world. I'm wondering how he got into that heresy in the first place honestly

Tbh Rykard fascinates me because I feel like his long path of bloodshed wasn't his original intention, but that he ended up at it because the Golden Order was so strong that he could see no other path but the one that lead to the God-Devouring Serpent, Eiglay. Ranni gave him the Blasphemous Claw just in case that something went wrong on the Night of the Black Knives, which implies that he was in on the plan and thus knew that the requirement to end the Golden Order was to slay a god. Merging with Eiglay would have given him the power to challenge the Elden Beast if the worst came to pass, but the problem with fusing with a giant snake is, well...they need to eat a great deal of food to be satiated. Since Eiglay is specifically referred to as God-Devouring and undying, this was technically a good plan, but it seems to have lead him down the path of just straight-up eating everyone strong to grow his power, and then to eventually eat all the gods themselves. Which would be a problem, because the more he eats, the more Eiglay grows, until eventually his hunger would be so great that he would have become a virtual black hole of a being, not unlike Ungoliant from the Silmarillion (a vast devouring spider that killed the Two Trees of Valinor, which were ALSO giant luminescent trees that could be seen from everywhere. No this was likely not a coincidence).

So: we know for a fact that Ranni trusted Rykard pre-Shattering, which means that he must have hated the Golden Order enough for her to feel safe to confide in him. We also know that he fed himself to Eiglay afterwards, which makes me think that its possible it was a sort of desperate contingency plan, one that might have sprung up during the Shattering as a means of gaining a great deal of power very quickly- perhaps because Ranni went into hiding to recuperate from her soul being transferred to a doll body, perhaps because the war against Leyndell had begun. Either way though, I feel like merging with a vast inhuman god-devouring serpent did a number on his morality/ended up skewing his priorities into eating a whole bunch of strong foes so that he could face and devour the Elden Beast, which caused a break in his troop's loyalty and the movement to bear serpent-men warriors to replace the soldiers that he lost/allying with Godskin nobility.

Which is a good deal of speculation on my end considering the fact that I never finished Volcano Manor (forgot to kill the Godskin), but I believe that he essentially became the melting point (heh) for a good chunk of the blasphemers of the Lands Between simply because he seemed to be the most dangerous opponent of the Erdtree out there, and that he chose to play the waiting game of bulking Eiglay up to the point where she'd be able to deal with the Elden Beast. So: good intentions, but perhaps not the best way to go about the bloody task of slaying a god. Ranni's work in the shadows and personal sacrifices ended up being a cleaner, faster kill than anything that Rykard would have been able to manage.

Also what the fuck is up with his bdsm torture dungeon. Like. Why is it like that. Sir why. I get that you've got some...interesting tastes, but what the actual fuck

[quinloki]

Family Ties

Fem Reader x Donquixote Doflamingo

CW: Language, violence, blood, moral ambiguity, murder, sexual themes and situations 18+ only

Chapter 1 - Table of Consent -

Chapter 20: Picking Up the Pieces

Doflamingo had left shortly after. No matter what you asked he wouldn't answer what your promise had been, or what had gone wrong with the plan. Not being able to remember was on the verge of driving you batty, but you couldn't do anything about it while you were still healing.

The next three days were an exercise in exercising. Law helped you move limbs and slowly got you eating more and more food. You were frustrated, something itched inside you and you wanted to just run laps around the clinic, but your body wasn't up for it.

You had more visitors as the days went by too. You saw Doflamingo almost every day, even if it was just a brief visit. You didn't see Pops much, but you saw his "boys" a lot. Luffy, Sabo, Ace, Thatch and Marco visited as much as it seemed like they could get away with. Law was more and more irritated by them and eventually you asked Marco and Thatch to restrain them a little.

Robin, Sanji, Zoro and Kid visited you. Robin brought your favorite flowers, and Sanji brought your favorite tea. Zoro and Kid spent time telling you about all the trouble you'd gotten into when you were younger. The conversations sparked something in you, and when you prompted the next step in a story Kid hugged you so hard you think your spine cracked. It was the first thing you had remembered on your own, aside from knowing that you were missing the bracelet when you first woke.

Five days later you had remembered a decent amount of things on your own, and the tests Law ran had shown that the memory issue could've been trigged by physical and/or mental trauma. He couldn't test for things like personal stress, but while there had been brain damage it wasn't severe.

"Memory loss is a hard thing to nail down," Law admits. "Sometimes things come back in a few hours, sometimes a few days. Some people have started whole new lives after memory loss, only to have it all come back years later.

"Sorry I can't give you a definitive answer, (Y/N)-ya."

You stretch forward to try and reach your toes with your fingers. "S'aright, you've already done more for me than I could've hoped for."

"Don't say it that way, we are friends."

You smile, "We are, and I didn't mean it that way. I mean, I think I know how important I am to people after all that's been done for me. I'm looking forward to getting out of here and wandering around town. Maybe I can remember more once I start working again."

"I'm sure that decision went over well with Mr. Donquixote."

Your face goes red. "It... hasn't yet. I decided just a bit ago, so I haven't said anything to anyone else yet." You sigh and turn to Law. "Can I have my one brutal question for today?"

"Already? Sure, if you want." Law agrees. He had gotten into a habit of being brutally honest with you for one question per day. The only thing that was off-limits was The Plan. Through this you'd learned that yes, technically, you were a criminal, but you hadn't been caught. You learned that you had let yourself into his clinic repeatedly and tended to "strays" as the two of you referred to them, and that you'd met Doflamingo through that process. You learned that your mom died when you were little, and your biological father was a marine, and that he was deceased as well, but Law didn't say when he had died, and you didn't ask.

"Do you think I loved Mr. Donquixote?"

Law closes his eyes for a moment and sucks in a breath. "I'm not comfortable guessing at what was going on in your heart, (Y/N)-ya, but-." He looks over and smiles. "I do know you lost Kid $50 because you admitted you 'had it bad' for him. If I were going to put money on things, I think you did, or if you didn't, you were close.

"I'll give you a little freebie, when you're talking to him later about your decision, call him Doffy." Law's grin is practically evil. "I'm sure he'll become more malleable then."

.

.

.

.

Later on that day you had gotten dressed, and Doflamingo had arrived to pick you up. He was knelt down as you sat on the edge of the bed and was tying your shoes for you. You were almost fully healed, but he seemed to enjoy getting to pamper you when he could get away with it.

"And so, I decided I want to go back to work," you continue, having explained that you wanted to do things that would help you remember. "Walking around town will help, I'm sure, but I feel like if I could go back to my old routine then it'd really help."

"Do you intend to return to your apartment as well?"

You open your mouth to answer yes, but there was something in his tone that stops you. "I... maybe, no, I mean, yes." You couldn't stop the drop in your voice when you spoke again, "I can't really walk from your home to those jobs, I mean."

You could see him tense as you spoke, but when he looks up, he appears okay. You've quickly learned that he was in control of his emotions very well. You imagined his rage was terrifying.

"Your mind is made up then, young lady?" His face was straining neutrality, but his voice sounded defeated. Your stomach knots, and you do your best to keep looking at him. His hands were on either side of your thighs, holding onto the bed. He'd done his best to avoid looming over you while you recovered. You could often tell from his body language that he'd done his best to avoid touching you too much as well.

"As long as I'm not inadvertently giving you an answer to a promise I still don't remember, then, yes." You reach out and he lets you caress the side of his face. You could tell he closed his eyes at the touch, and you wanted to kiss him. You wanted to remember first.

"Just for a week," you say. "Give me a week to remember, and then..." you weren't sure what to say, "And then we can talk about different living arrangements-" you could feel the heat rise in your face, but you weren't sure why. You wanted to use the name Law had told you, and you forced your mouth to make the sound despite the growing need that was rising up in your stomach.

"-Doffy."

His grip on the bedding tightened so fast you heard the frame squeak. The gaze that pierces you almost stops your heart, and he holds your gaze as he stands. Having him over you, caged by his arms, was not the reaction you think Law expected. You didn't feel afraid of Donquixote, but there was a feeling of concern. It was like he was struggling to control himself, and it was your fault.

He lifts his glasses up to the top of his head, using the entire weight of his gaze. There's a passion and a desire in those eyes that is likely to simply set you on fire where you sit. His body shifts and he moves as though he means to kiss you, but his movements were slow enough for you to react. You didn't turn away, but you did put both your hands over his mouth.

"N-Not here." You break away from his gaze and shake your head. "I have nothing but a jumble of memories from this room, and... and I want to make memories outside of this place." You move your hands away. You can feel the red running down your face to your neck. "It's not 'no', it's just... o-out there, not here-WAH!"

He lifts you up into his arms like you weigh nothing and cradles you against his chest. He moves his glasses back over his eyes and you hold onto his jacket to steady yourself. You start to protest, but his voice brokers no dissent.

"I refuse to let you go, my dear. You will simply have to deal with it."

His voice was always pleasant to hear, even when he was busy, but his voice when he was demanding submission to his will was something else entirely. You bury your face in his chest, not wanting to light up the entire clinic with how bright red your face is. You manage a very tiny 'okay', and didn't give Law anything more than a thumbs up when you left.

You had only the briefest moment of sun against your skin before you're set inside the back of a limousine. Something about the smell of it, the feel of the leather, and the soft, almost unnoticeable purr of the engine, tickles at the back of your mind. Though you hadn't the chance to focus on any of these things for more than a second.

After Doflamingo seats himself next to you, his arms move you as he pleased. You find yourself straddling him, chest to chest, sitting in his lap with his arms around your waist and back. You gasp in surprise and the pleasure of being so close to him, the sound escaping you closer to the pleasure side of things. You bury your face into his shoulder, heat radiating from your cheeks and ears.

You could feel the smirk on his face as his fingers slip over your back and slide through your hair. Your body shivers at the tender and needy movements, and you try to suppress the moans escaping you.

"It's difficult to kiss you when you're like that," He muses, and you could feel his voice against your body more than you heard it through your ears. "Though, I don't dislike the noises you're making for me right now."

"Let me... let me kiss you." You manage between the involuntary sounds he was eliciting from you simply by running his fingers over your back. You had wanted to remember him first, you thought that was going to be the best thing for you to do. For both of you.

Right now, however, you wanted something different. Something deeper. You wanted a moment of control, you wanted to show the feelings you had right now, even if they could be different from whatever you had felt before. Not that you thought they would be, the way he controlled your body spoke to a level of intimacy beyond what you had assumed.

"As you wish, my dear," His hands move away and he has them hooked behind the headrests of the limo's seat.

Your face must be fire engine red, but you keep your gaze on his lips. You lick your lips lightly, tilting your head a little and closing the space between you. Your lips barely touch his, but you can't help the gasp that escapes you as a rush of pleasure hits you unexpectedly. You reach out with your hand to slide your fingers through his hair, your other hand is on his shoulder, helping you to keep your balance. You lean into the kiss a little more, but it's like you can't get air into your lungs. You suck in a breath, lips quivering against his and instead of leaning in, you lean back and meet his gaze.

He doesn't look disappointed, but there's an inquisitive glint in his eyes.

"It was a little different, wasn't it?" You murmur softly, your gaze returns to his lips and you don't notice his eyes widen.

You lick your lips lightly and swallow, before leaning forward to close the space between you. Running your lips over his so softly as to barely make contact, you reach out with your hand to slide your fingers through his hair at the nape of his neck, and then you lean in deeper with the kiss. Your eyes close as a moan rises up in your throat and shivers through your lips.

You lean back enough to break the kiss, but you don't go far, "I remember, I wanted to tease you more, but you took over. We'd just declined dessert?" Your brows furrow. "No, we were going to have it at your place... we..." Your eyes widen as more of the memory returns to you. "Oh."

You start smacking his chest as you talk, remembering more the more you said. "The day, that day, it was... what was it? It was a date, but not a date? You were - you'd made some excuse about wanting to pay me back." Your eyes light up, and you beam at him, "THE BRACELET! I made you buy me something at... at the place, the carnival? And then we, uh..." Your face is red, you're remembering, but the words aren't going to come out as easily as the memories are flooding in.

Doflamingo's expression is the softest smile you've ever seen on him, and when you finally falter for words, he embraces you. He buries his face in your shoulder, wrapping an arm around your waist, and cradling your head in his other hand. You feel his body shudder, and you wonder if he's crying.

Tears well up in your eyes and you try not to cry, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I forgot, and I'm sorry I don't remember everything yet." His embrace tightens, but he shakes his head soundlessly against your shoulder.

You could feel him breathing shakily, and you wondered if he had ever lost control of his emotions in this way before. You wondered if he even knew he could have emotions like this. You didn't think he was completely heartless, but you knew he had to be a certain level of ruthless to live the life he did. Something twists your heart, and you felt a deep sense of guilt, but you couldn't place exactly why.

"Don't," His voice is almost broken, and he was slowly evening out his breathing. "Don't apologize, my love."

My love. You gasped, the words wrenching your heart and causing tears to fall down your face. You lean your head against his, running a hand through his hair, and sinking into him. You could feel a wet warmth against your shoulder. You knew though, you knew from his actions, from his restraint, from his gaze, you already knew. But to hear those words - you couldn't write it off as simple kindness, you couldn't hold the weight of it at arm's length.

After you had both composed yourselves, you whisper into his ear, your gaze looking out the back window even though you weren't focused on anything.

"Help me remember," your arms tighten around him. "Please."

"Of course," He assures you, his fingers slipping through your hair. "I wouldn't want anything less."

You laugh, nearly on the verge of tears again. "That's a relief." You set your head on his shoulder.

"Mm? In what way, my dear?"

"If there was something you would benefit from me not remembering, I feel like you'd prefer it. Like, you'd mitigate the risks of letting me slip through your grasp." You admit. "But at the same time, I trust your words."

"You've said that of me before, do you remember?" He prompts, shifting you so you were looking into his eyes again.

"That I trust your words?" Your brow furrows, "No, you... uh... hm." You make a face, feeling conflicted.

Doflamingo chuckles, "I'm not sure how to take that, but you're not wrong. You've never said you trust my words before."

You think about it for a moment, "I have said that I trust you though, haven't you?" You see a flicker in his eyes, and you recognize the emotion, since you'd been feeling guilty yourself a lot the last week. "I said so before things went sideways."

Doflamingo lowers his eyes and nods slightly.

"I survived," you say, tilting his chin up and bringing his gaze back to yours. "I survived and I'll remember, so... so my trust wasn't misplaced. You're not a god, despite your ego, you can't protect everyone from everything and live the life you do."

"If you're trying to make me feel better, you're not exactly hitting the mark."

"I'm not exactly missing it, either," you quip. You place your forehead against his. "Sometimes you need to be reminded of your humanity, like it or not."

"(Y/N)," His voice and gaze are steady. "Let me kiss you."

You lean back, settling into his lap, and closed your eyes, tilting your face upward.

The gentle warmth of his hand sliding along your jaw causes you to nuzzle into his palm as it caresses your face. Fingers run along the line of your ear, sending small shivers down your neck, before disappearing into your hair. His large hand cradles the back of your head as his thumb from his other hand runs over your lips softly. The sensation causes you to gasp, parting your lips just as he closes the distance between you.

The first brush of your lips was swift, and hot air fills the space between you both. You feel his fingers flex in your hair, and his body tenses under you as he struggles to contain the need he'd been pushing aside for the last week. A tender kiss follows, as though he was trying not to shatter some wisp of a dream between his arms.

You lean into him a little, to reassure him you weren't made of glass – or to urge him on, or both - and the hand not tangled in your hair wraps around your waist. Hot lips push back into yours and you moan from the pleasurable pressure. The kiss breaks enough for a breath of air to enter your lungs, but he follows soon after. His kiss holds you in place more than his hands, and the passion he drives into you was enough to pull air and reason from you.

Your hands grab onto the collar of his jacket, and you pull yourself into him. There's no contest of dominance in this, you have only a need to be even closer to him than physical law allowed. Heat rushes into your face, adding to the dizzying euphoria of the long overdue kiss.

You lean back to breathe.

"Shit," you swear, gasping for air and turning your head away. You're red to your ears, and you could feel the heat in your thighs trying desperately to override the responsible parts of your mind. Your hands are pushing against his chest, and you could feel his heart trying to beat its way out of his rib cage. You couldn't wiggle out of his arms, and you didn't necessarily want to, so instead you hid your face against his shoulder.

"You're dangerous." You say, your voice breathier than you had expected. He chuckles, a mix of mischief and passion. "This is dangerous... It's dangerous but I'm not afraid." Your hands tightened their hold on the collar of his jacket again as you turn your head enough to be able to look across his chest, your head nuzzled just under his jaw.

"I don't know what to do," you murmur. "My body wants you, my head says I need to remember, and my heart says," you close your eyes and leaned into him. "that I had made up my mind before I forgot."

"I am not a mindless beast, my dear, and while I may not have boundless patience, I do have patience." He hugs you, running a hand over your hair and down your back. "I will do all that I can to help you remember. I can recount every moment if you so desire. I will have the Family find every record of your life if you want.

"Command me, my love."

[raspberryconverse]

IDK why, but for some reason I decided to read my old Blogger blog and just read the tagged posts about the boy I dated when I was 21.

Oof.

I do see why that one person was team [him], even when I started blogging again on LiveJournal 2 years ago. He'll always be the one who got away.

Don't get me wrong, I am so fucking happy with my spouse. I honestly don't know if he hadn't left for grad school that we would have fared better. I just got to the point where we actually broke up (even though we were trying to make it work long distance) basically because his family didn't like me. I mean, they didn't dislike me, but they most certainly didn't want their son to marry me. And considering parents usually love me (my in-laws do, for sure), it was such a blow.

He actually described it as we were a good dating couple, but not a good courting couple. We're obviously not talking fundie-level courtship, but southern religious vibes for sure. His dad was a Methodist pastor (I used to say he was a WASM - white Anglo-Saxon Methodist as opposed to a WASP, though I guess Methodism is technically Protestant, but hell if this atheist knows how any of that shit works) and they were from the Atlanta suburbs, so it was a very different world from my Midwestern divorced agnostic upbringing. I mean, his sister wrote him a multi page letter expressing her disdain for us taking a nap together when I visited him at his parents' house whereas my mom let us take her bed when we visited my family one weekend. We came from very different worlds, that's for sure.

I actually forgot what kick started our relationship. We had met a month or 2 prior while volunteering at The Neo-Futurists. Oddly enough, I kinda got to know him one night after some event when he, my college best friend, my soon-to-be ex and I ended up at a table together (I've been trying to find the context, but I honestly don't remember other than it was something Neo-Futurist related) Then, a fellow volunteer called me because his car broke down and he couldn't make his volunteer shift and asked if I'd be willing to cover. So we ran into each other again. It was his first time volunteering for Too Much Light Makes The Baby Go Blind and afterwards, I made an offhand comment about being hungry and only having Easy Mac at home, so we went to IHOP.

A few weeks later was my 21st birthday. I had invited him to my birthday gathering, but he had to decline because he had to finish some stuff up at work. Then, he surprised me. After we left the bar, he suggested we get booze at the grocery store and drink at his place instead. My college best friend told me later that she was going to suggest going to another bar so she could basically pull a Stevie and leave so we could have a chance to connect.

Eventually, we need to go home, so he walked us to the el. Before I went though the turnstile, he hugged me goodbye.

And kissed me.

I think this is why I have to watch this part of "Grad Night" every night before I go to bed. It was my birthday and it wasn't supposed to end up this way. He wasn't supposed to be there. But then he was.

It will never not be magical. That moment of, "I'm feeling something here, so I'm just going to go for it."

It has literally been over a decade and a half (yes, I'm still being cryptic about exactly how old I am because this site makes me feel really fucking old sometimes) and I still get butterflies when I think of that night.

One thing that is kind of helpful when I get nostalgic is look at his Facebook and notice he did not age well. Shallow, I know, but aside from being so much heavier than I was then (it's actually pretty disgusting how disordered my eating/weight management was back then, especially when I would complain that I had gotten up to 140lbs and I'm at least 50lbs heavier than that now) and a few gray hairs (and I was dying my hair back then too so that's not really a thing), I look pretty much the same.

(obviously rounder face because I'm significantly heavier, but I don't think I've really aged that much)

And FWIW, I'm definitely happy with how my life turned out.

It's nothing like I thought it'd be, especially reading my old blog, but I don't think I'd have it any other way.

[flickonymous]

Clint's a Legal Adult Now - Wait What?

The team, minus Clint, Natasha, and Thor, was relaxing in the main room when Natasha came in with a bunch of balloons. They watched as she went back into the elevator and came back up a couple of minutes later with a cake and a banner. Eventually, Steve seemed to remember the manners that were hardwired into his being and he stood to help her. She happily moved around the room with her balloons and a big smile on her face. It wasn’t until Natasha brought out the banner with letters spelling out happy birthday did anyone begin to understand. 

    “So, how old is Merida turning then?” Tony asked loudly. 

    Natasha just rolled her eyes at the man and grabbed two shiny balloons shaped like numbers, taping them down on the coffee table. 

    Tony scoffed at her and laughed saying, “Like we’re going to believe that Romanov. There’s no way the man is eighteen, that would mean Shield got him when he was, what nine?”

    “I was eleven, actually,” Clint said, dropping down out of an air vent. 

    Bruce looked at Clint, really looked at Clint for the first time, and saw just how young the man was. He noticed how much younger he was without a bow and arrow, with no armor or suit, standing in a purple t-shirt and jeans. Bruce noticed everyone else in the room, except for Natasha, following a similar thought process.

    “Shit Katniss, you're just a kid,” Tony said, breaking everyone out of their thoughts.

    “Technically I’m an adult now,” Clint retorted with a shit-eating grin.

    Natasha gave him a reprimanding look before saying, “Happy birthday Clint!”

    The team seemed to need more time to process the information that was just dropped on them so the two assassins grabbed some cake to eat while they waited. When the pair left Tony shared a look with Steve, both were shocked by what they had learned. 

    “Well, Stevie boy I guess you're not the baby of the family anymore,” Tony announced, as Steve was still twenty-seven and it had just been generally assumed he was the youngest. 

    Steve just rolled his eyes and walked toward the two assassins, trying to get some cake before they finished it. Bruce sat seemingly lost in thought. It wasn't until Tony stood to follow the party into the kitchen that he was drawn back into the real world. 

    Bruce shook his head and said, "How do you think he ended up at Shield? Sure, Natasha was a child assassin, but she was in Russia, and Fury may be a lot of things but he wouldn't run a program that created child soldiers. He may work in a moral grey area most of the time but that is very clearly wrong."

    Tony paused for a minute before quietly saying, "I don't think we want to find the answer to that question Bruce."

    With that the two men joined their team, trying not to think about the fact that when they were fighting aliens a kid was fighting along with them.

[crownlessliestheking]

AITA for trying to get back at someone who double-crossed me?

I (ageless, existed before time, F) had a deal with a skeevy guy (also ageless, though not as much as me, M), and it went sour. I want to preface this by saying that none of what I did was technically illegal, just morally questionable if you're of a certain disposition- I most definitely wasn't what anyone had in mind when writing laws. And a girl has to eat.

Anyway, I'll back it up for context. He'd been formerly estranged from his family (also ageless) who moved across the ocean to make a nice gated community after he wrecked their first home and made his own dark abode there, which they were fine with until Children entered the equation. Not my deal, personally, but to each their own. In fairness, that lot are pretty caring (gross), so it makes sense that they'd go far for these kids, saying he'd be a bad influence. Not my business, either, but I will say that they were right.

He reunited with them after they dragged him to their place, and said that he was sorry, which they accepted and let him have free run of it. This is when he contacted me and asked if I'd help him do a job, and he promised me anything I wanted in return. I didn't take him at his word, of course, but even what I'd be able to get on my own would have been a sweet deal. His sister-in-law (selfish) has these two insane trees, that only grow there, and I wanted to get my hands on them. I'm a fiend for fruit, and syrup, you see, but there was no way for me to get in alone. I'd had my eye on the place for a while, and I knew I needed help to get in. So I agreed to be a distraction while he did his thing.

I held up my part of the deal; I was what some might call hangry, and none of his useless family managed to stop me. I marched right up to those trees and had myself a perfect fruit course. Meat and wine provided by the kids who'd thought they could stop me, it was a full charcuterie. They saw my side of it eventually. Anyway, after all that, I was bloated but still hungry- you try starving for millennia and see how you like it-, but it was time to make our escape, and for me to get my payment. The guy shows up at the rendezvous spot and we get away clean. Turns out he'd gotten what he wanted, and offered me payment from that. The usual, a bunch of gemstones, which I take for myself as a snack, and then three beautiful jewels. Three- and when I say beautiful, I mean they're the best things I've seen in my entire life. So I told him, you know what, I'll take those as payment. To be honest, I could've gone for all three, but I figured I'd start small. And he didn't want to give it to me, which is bullshit, because he said I could have anything. Anything means anything.

Anyway, he refused and I never got them. Seriously, it was close; I almost had him beat and wrapped up for later before he called his friends to ambush me and escape like a coward. Whatever, I made him pay for that at least, he cried like a baby.

I don't feel bad about it, I think I'm in the right here, but I was telling my kids this and it's all "mom, what's wrong with you, how could you do that to him" and "mom, seriously?" and "mom, where's dad, did you eat him too?", which seems unreasonable to me. So I thought I'd ask on here.

Tl;dr- this guy tried to cheat me and I attempted to eat him, AITA?

[ping-ping-ying]

Diluc with a one of a kind kid (headcanon)

Note: back at it again with the family headcanons because I'm a simp for them. GN reader and the child is a boy, and he is 5 years old cuz why not🤩✌🏾 also this picture is literally EVERYTHING credit to whoever took it. This is LONG because I just HAD to go on a tangent 😭

Diluc swears

And I means swears

That something is wrong with his kid

Not in a bad way

But in a way that's not normal

Every since the boy was born he acted different than normal babies

Babies loved singing right?

Well his kid hated it

Babies loved playing peek a boo?

His son screamed bloody murder everytime someone tried to do it with him

Babies love playing with toys?

Just so happens his son fancies his claymore and will try to play with it and eat it whenever he could

Babies love being held?

For a while, yes he did, until he became 8 months old, learned how to crawl and declared independence for himself

Babies love playing with other babies?

His kid would try to fight any baby that came in reach of him

Diluc swears everything he thought he knew about babies and children went out the window as his son grew up

When Jack learned how to walk, he realized that crawling was more fun

So he only walked when it was absolutely necessary

Diluc and you tried to help Jack walk more to help his growth and mobility but he wasn't having it

Jack was a lazy baby

For right now at least

Sometimes Diluc and you would worry that your baby wasn't alive at times because he would sleep for hours on end

But rest assured he was alive, he's just a good sleeper

Jack spoke his first word?

Surprise! It was "shit!"

Blame Uncle Kaeya for that one 🤩💪🏾

His second word? "Die."

Blame Diluc for that one 😳🤡

His vocabulary from age 1-3 years old consisted of "Shit, die, kill, burn, frostbite, honey, doll, darling, no, damn it, hell, retribution" along with other normal words of course

Kaeya was not allowed to be around Jack unsupervised until he got older 😂✋🏾

When Jack got older, specifically around the age of five is when Diluc lost all hope in trying to find out exactly what was wrong with his kid

Because that's the thing, technically there was NOTHING wrong with him

He was just..... eccentric

Truly a one of a kind kid

That happens to get in trouble no matter where he goes

He wasn't embarrassed by him or nothing, in fact he paraded his son around whenever the opportunity presented itself

It's just, he knows he's going to have to prepare himself

Because they way things were looking, he was going to be a wild child

Boys liked playing with swords and pretending to be a knight of Favonious?

Jack liked playing with slimes and collecting sea shells on the beach

Boys teased Girls because they like them?

WRONG! Jack treats women with the UPTMOST respect no matter what

That's how he was raised

Kids liked playing outside with their friends?

The slimes were his friends

So he worried for his safety CONSTANTLY

Especially when he's not around for certain periods of time

Jack is the man of the house whenever Diluc is away and Jack takes it a little bit too seriously

Of course you never complained, because that's your son and he's just being himself

Yall have maids?

You can forget it when Jack is around

This boy would do anything to help take a load off of all the women in the house

The men can suffer 👀😳

He tries his best to patrol the grounds of the house at night to protect everyone from evil creatures

You have to drag him back inside or persuade him with something he likes

Dilucs worries only increased as his son started school

He knows how cruel children can be, along with the adults as well

Given his status in society, some of the kids pick on Jack relentlessly every day

Mainly about how "weird" he acts, about how his hair is red and eyes were brown so they didn't match, and the fact that he was technically labeled as a rich kid

But does Jack care?

No

Even though Jack is different, his is still human so the constant bullying started to weigh on him

He went to good old uncle Kaeya and told him everything

B A D I D E A

"You're the son of Master Diluc, and the nephew of the famous Calvary Captain of the Nights of Favonious, and they still have a nerve to pick on you? That won't do at all Jackie boy. I have an idea...."

The next day Jack got in trouble for beating up half the (male) kids in his classroom

Which resulted in him getting suspended for a week

And being assigned to a different class

After that he was happy

But he still hated going to school everyday

Diluc had to tell him MULTIPLE times that school was necessary for growing up

It went in one ear and out the other

Jack skipped school several times to look for slimes in the wild

Mainly hydro ones, they were his favorite

Diluc would escort him back to school, where he would leave again as soon as Diluc left

Diluc questioned why his son started to hate school

Even while getting bullied he seemed to enjoy going

So what happened?

The Adventures Guild

Jack would go to the Adventures Guild often to hear stories

In that moment, it was decided he wanted to be an adventurer

He wanted to explore the world, and help people to the best of his abilities

Skipped school damn near every day to train and do extremely low grade commissions off the record to get some experience

He stole Dilucs claymore even more now because he wanted to train

He actually wanted his father to teach him, but he knew Diluc would dismiss the idea and shatter his dream

So he trained in secret with the help of his slimes

"Oh Splashy, I don't know what dad would if he knew I was training to become an adventurer. But that won't stop me!"

The creature only jumped in response

A couple of months passed by, and he considered himself a full fledged adventurer

He convinced Big Man Dan to take him outside of Monsdats borders

Big Man Dan was really laid back, so he didn't have a problem taking Jack out

But it wasn't going to be dangerous

Or so Jack thought

The commission was simple

Go to the edge of Dragonspine to retrieve a letter from a fellow adventurer and deliver it to the NOF

So how did Jack wind up lost, halfway up the mountains?

Simple, a group of treasure hoarders wanted to rob them

Back in Monsdat, Diluc had a feeling of uneasiness wash over him

His parent senses were tingling

Immediately he went to go find Jack

He wasn't at the Guild, he wasn't at school, he wasn't at home, or in any of his usual hiding spots

Thank the archons Kathryne noticed how on edge he seemed when he appeared for the second time at the guild

"Are you looking for Jack?"

"Yes Kathryne, have you seen him?"

"Yes. He accompanied Big Man Dan on a commission to the edge of Dragonspine. They should be back-"

As soon as the word Dragonspine left her lips, his took off running

Yes he ran all the way there, adrenaline helping him the entire time

Big Man Dan got injured protecting Jack, so bad that his couldn't walk

Jack was in shock, he had never seen so much blood before

Instead of being frozen in fear, he balled his hands into fists and stood I front of Big Man Dan

The treasure hoarders laughed at his attempt to look tough

But Jack wasn't attempting anything, he was determined to protect the big man no matter what

"I have no problem killing a kid, so you have one more chance to-"

"You've killed children before?" Jack looked at the tall man in shock

"Yeah what's it to you?" He responded with annoyance lacing his tone

Jack's heart began to beat at an irregular pace

The anger that manifested inside him was about to burst

"YOU MONSTER! HOW DARE YOU HURT THE INNOCENT!"

Jacks eyes changed its color, and no longer bored the color brown

The violet eyes that appeared began to glow, along with currents of lightning swarming around him

"YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR SINS, WITH YOUR LIFE!"

Without a second thought he pointed his hand out to the group and a huge bolt of lightning struck making the enemies fall off the cliff

He used this to grab the Big Man and carry him on his back

"KID I'LL SURELY CRUSH YOU! LEAVE ME-"

"Shut it old man and hold on tight!"

Diluc neared the entrance of Dragonspine and saw an avalanche occur

Yet a bolt of lightning could be seen flying through the air and landing a couple feet away from Diluc

"JACK!"

Diluc ran up to the boy, completely ignoring the older man

He hugged him so tight, so tight the boy couldn't really breath

But Diluc was terrified to let go of the boy, afraid he'd get into more trouble

"DADDY! I SAVED HIM! AND I GOT A VISION!"

"We will talk about that later, right now you have serious consequences awaiting you when we get home

The boy laughed and hugged his dad tightly

The sigh that basically sounded like a scream from dilucs mouth echoed

Please help him

Please

-ping ping

-12:18am 01/22/22

[robbyrobinson]

Thoughts On Gaiman's Problem of Susan

In the Last Battle, Peter; Edmund; and Lucy Pevensie are taken into Narnia when they alongside their parents and Diggory, etc. are all killed in a horrific train wreck that, for all intents and purposes, is blown off as no big deal. More alarming, Susan is the only one left alive on Earth because she "no longer was a friend of Narnia." That is the most we get from the siblings about what became of their sister which amounts to speaking trash about her without her being able to defend herself.

Naturally, many people had things to say for C.S. Lewis for this development. Some, like JK Rowling, Philip Pullman, and Neil Gaiman have blasted Lewis for the apparent misogyny thrown Susan's way what with her being more interested in lipstick, nylons, and invitations. But I had always defended Lewis by saying that it was a different time and if you really buy into him being a sexist, then what about the scenes where Susan and Lucy take part in the battles for Narnia? Or the White Witch is also pretty badass (albeit, Lewis does kind of have her and the Lady of the Green Kirtle as beautiful/seductive = evil) with her magic and fighting skills. 

But what I think Lewis was truly saying wasn't so much that those things were bad, but it was that Susan was too invested in trying to be an adult, or what she saw as being mature, when she was really being immature and wasting her time obsessing over things which blinded her to the truth of Narnia. And she naturally didn't go to Aslan's Country because she was still alive (though Reepicheep technically did go there without dying but I digress). Lewis had gone on record saying that he envisioned having to make a mature novel in order to wrap up Susan's arc which I could understand...even though most of the characters died in a train wreck and the apocalypse is wrought on Narnia with thousands dying and being sold into slavery followed by them summoning the satanic monster Tash into Narnia. Sadly, he died before that could come to fruition.

However, I just can't help but think had Lewis explained his vision more there wouldn't have been much backlash in regards to Susan's fate. Because how he displayed it in the novel still makes me feel uncomfortable even when I give him the benefit of a doubt. Did Lewis have problematic views? Yes, obviously those opinions would not translate over to the more progressive views of today. But I do not advocate bashing Lewis for them. For instance, Gaiman had written an official fanfiction for the Narnia series appropriately called The Problem of Susan. In it, a young journalist interviews a professor of children's literature Professor Hastings. Hastings is more or less Susan Pevensie somehow talking about the events of the Last Battle which is meta because she is describing her life. Does that then mean that, in this universe, C.S. Lewis was told the story of Narnia by Susan and wrote the books as loosely based on true stories? 

Regardless, the story forces the reader to be in Susan's shoes: she lost her entire family in a horrific accident; she is alone and financially unstable; she would have had to identify the corpses of her family. The Last Battle willfully paints the tragedy as "not bad" because it's okay they all go to Narnia in the end. It even gives off the impression that Susan was being punished for something as trivial as being interested in feminine stuff. 

But where the story goes wrong is the nightmare sequence where Aslan betrays the Pevensies by joining forces with the White Witch and...devouring Susan leaving only her head and eating Lucy...and the White Witch transforms Edmund and Peter into hideous nightmare abominations. And then...uh...Aslan eats the Witch but not in the same way that he ate the two girls. Eh...it's very difficult to talk about. Where I am getting at is that Gaiman seemed to be personally attacking Lewis by demonizing Aslan to attack his faith. Again, did Lewis have problematic beliefs or views? Sure, but that does not make it okay to then use him as a punching back for self-proclaimed SJWs. Not to mention that it adds NOTHING to the short story and amounts to "Susan probably was an action survivor because she managed to escape from an evil god." 

Overall, it is an interesting topic to discuss whether or not there was a "problem" regarding Susan's fate. Do you think it is unfair of her to be left behind on Earth with the knowledge that everyone she loved was dead, or do you think people blow the issue out of proportion? After all, Aslan said "Once a king and queen of Narnia, always a king and queen of Narnia."