#i mean i know bc i calculated it but STILL its dumb

[kresnikcest]

It really is funny though whenever you think about travel times in X2 like how long is the Marksburg Bridge 😩

[chiscaralight]

Imagine a lowkey perverted reader who can not back up one shit she says and says stuff that's blatantly wrong about sex and Scara, who doesn't call her out, decides to tease her and things get physical <333 after years of knowing her dumbass. So, like, she's genuinely innocent when it comes to it because she's had basic sex ed💀💀💀

i got to this one last bc i actually had to sit and think about it lol😭literally slept on it and came back but i hope i did justice to it!

childhood best friend! scara x reader nsfw.oral f receiving. readers first time. fingering, fluff if you squint.

honestly, scaramouche blames himself. if he had called you out on the bullshit you were saying the first time, he wouldn't have to sit through this now. granted, he thought it was a joke at first, so he played into your little dumb ideology. it's been years, after all. he'd expect to understand your sense of humor. but it's getting frustrating now, because not only are you spewing total garbage, but you're saying it so confidently too? have you even had sex before? because no one with a semi-functioning brain would be saying things like this. but he starts to notice that whenever anything gets physical, you start to shy away.

so he starts to fuck with that pretty head of yours! fingers lingering on your waist when he's moving behind you, hand gripping at your thigh under the table in class. you're trying so hard to act like it doesn't phase you. but he knows you like the back of his hand! which is why he has his face up close to yours as you're both seated on his bed. he's leaning over, centimetres away while his eyes are locked on yours

"scara.."

he doesnt even respond. he just keeps staring at you and its starting to get uncomfortable.

"i lied, i'm sorry."

silence.

"do you think i'm stupid? of course you've been lying. nobody in their right senses would say the shit that you do."

"what the hell do you mean?!"

and he's reminding you of everything you said that was so blatantly wrong. you're dumbfounded. how come nobody ever told you? it's because they're even more idiotic than you are. you're seething with embarrassment when he finishes, looking everywhere except his face. his hand is still planted firmly on your side, fingers dipping inwards as his voice lowers just a bit.

"i can teach you, though."

he's still your best friend, so he'll help you where he can. it's your slow nod that has him shifting closer to you, hand pushing you back as he hovers over you.

his kiss is much softer than you expected. it's long, drawn out until you're able to match up with what he's doing. he can tell you're still scared because he pulls away to tell you to relax before going back in. his knuckle grazes over your clothed nipple and you let out a breath onto his lips. he takes the opportunity to slide his tongue over yours, and you're moving to fist his shirt in your hands.

he trails his fingers down your neck, lips following as he holds it in place. he's sucking at your skin, bruising up and down the exposed patch as he's trying to tug your shirt as far away as possible. you're whining as he pulls back, but he shushes you and takes it off. he's quickly pulling off his own as he starts to attack your chest with wet kisses, biting softly at one nipple while he tugs at the other. your face is squeezed with pleasure, soft gasps leaving your parted lips as his hand is deserting your sensitive bud to sit right above your soaked slit.

his movements are extremely calculated, eyes watching every reaction you give him as his tongue runs along your clit over and over again. his fingers are also curling inside you, but you just seem so sensitive, the way your back is arching off the bed, face red as one hand is tangled in his hair while the other poorly stifles your moans, he can feel his cock pressing hard into the bed. your sounds are getting more frantic, hips pressing down onto his face as you cum embarrassingly hard. the stupid smirk he has on his face isn't helping, but dare not say anything about it.

his lips are soft against the side of your face when he bottoms out in you. he's waiting for you, face turned in concern when your body stills entirely. the okay you give him is barely a whisper, but he hums against your skin as he starts to move. and he knows he should be focusing on you, making sure you're okay, but you feel so fucking tight around him, he's about to lose his shit. he's fighting every demon in his body now telling him to absolutely ruin you, but the second you tell him to speed up, he's pushing your legs up so he can hit into you just right. you can't even say his name properly now! you've never felt this good before. nails almost ripping at the sheets from how hard you're holding them. he's letting one of your legs hit the bed so he can slot his head right beside your lips, and those gorgeous moans of yours are making him twitch inside of you. you're wrapping an arm around his neck, crashing his lips to yours as you can feel that sensation bubbling deep in you again.

and when you come this time, it's loud and long. he never stopped rolling his hips into you, not even after he came. only until you're almost begging him to stop the overstimulation that he groans and pulls out. your vision is hazy and his body is heavy against yours, you can't help but smile. you have an actual story to tell now. and a damn good one at that.

[youremyheaven]

Frequently Asked Questions:

I get some version of these pretty much every day so I thought I'd make an FAQ:

What is my dominant planet/How do I find it?

If you knew enough about astrology and your birth chart, you would know which planet influenced you the most. Most people acutely feel a combination of at least 2-3 planetary influences most strongly. In reality, every single planet and nakshatra in our chart influences us but we probably aren't self-aware enough/knowledgeable about astrology enough to see how it impacts us. Each planet correlates to a different area of your life. Since Sun represents the soul/outer self and Moon represents the mind/emotions, its safe to say these 2 placements impact every area of life but when it comes to relationships/creativity/beauty, you channel your Venus whether you're aware of it or not and same goes for all other planets. Whenever you do something of a creative bent, you tap into your Ketu, your education is affected by your Mercury and Jupiter, so on and so forth.

If you're very new to vedic astrology or if you haven't been able to figure out your dominant planets, just let it be!! This is not a puzzle to be solved, there is no way for you or somebody else to mechanically calculate your "dominant" planet. I don't know you, I don't know what you look like, what your personality is like, so there is absolutely no way for me to tell what influence comes through most acutely.

Also, the concept of "dominance" itself is pretty much a made up one (thanks Claire Nakti) so literally, just chill out!!! Read about your placements, and learn more about astrology instead of trying to claim planets. You're influenced by your whole chart, its that simple. That's it.

2. Which website should I use?

You can use astro seek.com or the Cosmic Insights app or the Jagannatha Hora app. On astro seek, you have to adjust to "whole sign" instead of Placidus though. On the others, that's the default setting, I think.

3. Which ayanamsa should I use?

I stick to Lahiri

4. I have xyz nak/planet/house, am I doomed/ugly/forever alone/unlucky?

NO

Astrology helps us understand our strengths and weaknesses, there is no placement that comes as a death sentence of some sort. I feel like most people don't understand that your birth chart is supposed to make you self-aware of your natural inclinations, tendencies, patterns etc so that you can work with them/make necessary changes etc. Your chart is NOT set in stone. Human behaviour is far too complex to be narrowed down to a birth chart. It shows your INCLINATIONS, which means that if you're self aware, you can make necessary adjustments to work on unhealthy habits/tendencies.

Astrology is not "this is who you are, you suck",, it's a tool for self-growth.

If you have difficult placements, you need to pay more attention to them and work on those areas. Why on earth would you just accept that everything is fcked and its game over for you bc of what the stars said??? Sorry to be rude but that's dumb af?? You were not put on this earth to be miserable until the day you die, EVERYBODY has difficult placements, if you remain ignorant of it/avoid it, you will continue to live in ignorance and suffer from the same things you always have and not know why.

Astrology makes it possible for you to understand yourself and evolve.

5. I'm not Hindu, can I still worship Gods/Goddesses/chant mantras?

Every single religion is made up. God never said only brown people from the Indian subcontinent can worship me. But that said, do your research and actually be invested in it. I feel like some people approach this in a Buzzfeed-y "Which Disney Princess Am I?😍" type of way which is 🤦🏻‍♀️but religion isn't something to be sampled, if ykwim?

You don't have to attain Guru levels of religious insight/expertise either. Most practicing Hindus probably know very little about their religion and truth be told, Hinduism is soooo vast, expansive, varied and eclectic that people practice it in thousands of different ways across the country with their own unique rituals/customs, so everybody who practices the religion makes it their own, in some ways?

Build an altar if you can, dedicate a certain time of the day and space of your room/house to just prayer. By making something sacred, we feel its divinity permeate our lives. Rituals are a major part of every religion because acting with intention helps us feel like our lives have meaning.

Always chant after you've showered, sit facing east, look at a picture of your deity or visualise them and chant quietly. Most people use prayer beads but you can also just count them on your fingers. Its often said that when you chant, others should not be able to hear you. If you use prayer beads, keep them covered in a box after use. You've energetically charged them with your chanting and its not good to leave them exposed because they'll pick up on other vibrations from the surroundings. Do not chant after you've just eaten!!

Picking a deity is all about intuition. If you don't feel called to anybody, just chill out and keep studying their mythology. You can always chant 'Om'.

I used to chant Buddhist mantras like 'Om mani padme hum' and 'nam myoho renge kyo' and they're not directed to any deity so if you're worried about that, you can always chant non-deity mantras as well.

The purpose of chanting mantras is to keep your mind calm and still. Even if you repeat a certain affirmation in English several hundred times, it has the same effect.

[arkngth]

Antonio doodle/info dump since he was around last month :3

left is the most recent doodles before i knew he'd be coming back

right is the first drawings of him (coincidentally exactly a year ago from June 1st)

more uncolored doodles n sketches. i kinda draw Antonio the most, but i rarely post about him (been gatekeepmaxxing)

last drawings that i actually still kinda like.. i have much more, i just don't like how they look anymore lmao

rambling wall of text infodump below the cut cuz i am just so autistic about this character LMAO sorry i'm a yapper-

anyway, contrary to popular belief, Antonio is actually my favorite RP character. just in general. and i've never actually seen him live until the other day. unbeknownst to me, i was waiting for a whole year to be able to actually see him live, i think i was more excited about it than cc!anthony was 💀

which might contribute to my love for him bc i had to piece him together like a puzzle from everyone else's POVs and clips n stuff. so at first i didn't want him to come back bc i was afraid he'd be different from the Antonio i made up in my head... but then. i haven't sat n watched, at mostly full attention, a whole stream for 7 hours in a while LOL

when i watched cc!buddha's rdrp vods a year ago n saw Antonio, i thought to myself "oh no... Tony isn't actually my new muse is he...?". and for a while i didn't draw him bc i didn't have any ideas + i didn't really know how to draw him. but i did know that when i did learn how to draw him, it'd be over for me (i wouldn't want to draw anyone else, and i was right oops 😭)

my idea of Antonio is he's just a dumb, impulsive, silly little theatre kid that got wrapped up in being an outlaw bc of Wu n Dot after his house burned down. they woulda been moving around in old box cars wherever the trains took them. Dot dies before the events of WildRP(headcanon), and Wu to me, is the autistic kid that follows Antonio around bc he talks a lot n has charisma lolol. also, to me, Wu is not as evil as he was intended to be, he just follows in Sonny's footsteps who's calculated n violent. While Antonio chooses Cesare's path to be more diplomatic and focuses more on his reputation. Antonio can't win a fight to save his life, and i love him for it. he thinks he's scary n dangerous, but to me, he couldn't hurt a fly hehe. i mean, one of the first things he did in the crossing was host a talent show at the local theatre. i'm a big fan of pathetic men, what can i say.

speaking of, i love how pathetically in love he is with Renni. and i love how, despite how much they like each other, they never actually get together n still respect each other as friends. they are the embodiment of the saying "if you love something let it go, if it comes back its yours" but without the last part.. they are so tragic to me.

in the last 3.5 years of watching rp, i've never had any character or character dynamic make me cry. like, as much as i love how doomed n toxic Donnie/Lang is, i've teared up a bit, but they've never made me cry just thinking about them. but Antonio, n by extension, his relationship with Renni, has made me cry multiple times just thinking about them 😭 and yeah, i cried the other day when Antonio was thinking about Renni LOL

idk why he's the character that changes my brain chemistry, but uh. he is. i've literally never rambled about a character so much online, sorry for the great wall of text bc of it.. i'm usually masking so hard a lot of the time, but i've been wanting to talk about Antonio for so long with no one to yap to so, yknow.. he gets me to unmask and i also love him for that :']

[whiskyblu]

Ok the fuckboy allegations agains Jae eon are making more sense.

Ep 2 starts with Na Bi and Jae On about to kiss under a tree, then he gets a call, and has to leave.  

Enter Best Girl Bit Na trying to explain to Na Bi

“Flowers don’t bloom for just one butterfly….he’s like a flower, a symbol of seductive beauty that withers once its plucked…and you don’t know how to keep things casual.”

And now that Na Bis been warned, Best Girl Bit Na proceeds to support and enable Na Bi to have as many orgasms as possible before she gets her heart broken. 

And thats when I realized, I’m the fuckboi here. Like I’m pretty sure most of the people calling JaeOn a fuckboy would say the same about me because, while I’m not Song Kang Hot (bc really who tf is?) or as calculated about it as Jae On, that’s pretty much how I relationship. Like a neighborhood cat that wanders from house to house, no one knows who it technically belongs to, but everyone lets it in their house, feeds it, loves it, and lets it back out when its ready.  If this dynamic does not spark joy in you, I’m probably not a good fit lol

Bit Na gets demoted from best girl to fuck girl for a bullshit speech about how men and women can’t be friends. -.- 

Ok here’s where I get annoyed with jae eon, dude takes Na bi to a club, and she clearly hates it and has her ears covered and wants to leave. And he just acts cute and gently manipulates her into dancing with him and ‘having fun in spite of herself” cuz she’s so into him. Both cheesy and obnoxious. If it’s not fuck yea, it’s no my dude. In everything else as in sex.

Ok this part is dumb, too.

Nabi walks out of the club to meet Jae eon, who’s smoking outside. A girl gets to JE before Nabi does and clearly knows him, asks if he wants to come hang out with them, asks if he’s with anyone. A perfectly reasonable friendly interaction.

Nabi gets all sad and insecure, and Jae Eon…he reacts the way an insecure mono person would want him too, but it’s rude and stupid. He like. Looks at NaBi, looks kind of annoyed and nervous, and then puts an arm around NaBi and is all “i’m with her you can hang out without.” Girl suggests they can all hang out together, NaBi is like “no I can leave its fine!” -.-

Like. The appropriate way to handle that interaction is to be friendly, introduce everyone “i’m here with this person to night, we’re gonna hang out on our own. See you next time!” and everyone fucks off their separate ways. 

But no. it’s all…tense and dumb. 

Ok so I left a thing out.  Theres this butterfly theme in the show. NaBi, I think, means butterfly, or sounds like butterfly in korean. JE has a Thing for butterflies. Like a cat lady, but butterflies. And the first time NaBi and Jae Eon met, he beat her at darts, and “the winner grants the loser a wish.” His wish was to draw a butterfly on her forearm in marker. Very cute, she didn’t wash it off, blah blah. 

When he saw her again, he was like “oh its still there, it’s water based marker it should be gone by now.”

So, enter Random Club Girl, she’s got the same butterfly on her arm and its fresh. So, you know. More insecurity for NaBi

NaBi asks about the butterfly and he’s like “she did that on her own, she must’ve wanted to see how I’d react…she was a little obsessed with me and delusional.”

Squints ok yellow flag. That could be true. Or bullshit. Or “she wanted to date and I didn’t and then she wouldn’t leave me alone.” All plausible, but kinda shady. So, point in the fuckboy column.

The green flag, tho. Is that dude communicates. Addresses the situation head on, checks in. Asks here ‘hey why’d you try to ditch me?” and then proceeds to be reassuring and. You know. Normal about it. MonoNabi is unconvinced, and I am annoyed.

UGH fucking ji wan again. “Sol! Your so pretty! Even your eyebrows!” *pets eyebrows* “so what are we doing for lunch?”

Being closeted sucks. Oblivious straight girls suck, even when they are less straight than pre-gay. 

Sidebar. Deeply fucking annoying thing in both kdrama and us stuff: character has some completely insignificant owie, and the other person fusses like they’ve broken an ankle. Bitch it’s a papercut, calm down.

Anyway, like that, and PJ being overly concerned is the thing that makes her think “yeah, no, I gotta nip this in the bud”

-.- Maybe I’m just too old for tv that doesn’t have monsters in it.

*a bunch of unnecessary angst about completely normal dating behavior*

…and then it gets gross. He messages her a lot and she ignores him, and angsts, and has a sex dream about him. Which. I mean. Fair.

Then  she’s in class with him, and she has a Period disaster, so she starts acting uncomfortable and tries to escape, he goes to check on her-and notices she's trying to cover up her butt. So he just wraps a shirt around her waist.

Yeah, total fuck boy *eyeroll*

And then later when GoodFriend BitNa is trying to talk NaBi down from getting her heart broken she’s like:

“The things that make you feel special probably mean nothing to him. He’s nice to everyone without exception.”

DUDE.

He’s perfect. Why? Whis is this a problem? I’m so confused. The only ML with zero red flags and HE’S a fuckboy in a toxic situationship?

MAKE IT MAKE SENSE.

There’s another drunk college kids party, and it gets a little. People hang out at Na bis house, everyone scatters for a minute (cue some cute shit) and Na Bi seek Jae eon kissing one of the other girls

Ok, this part is gross. As soon as he sees NaBi, and tells the other girl “go back inside, I gotta make a phone call” and makes a very sincere-seeming, direct bid to be kissing NaBi instead instead…and she wipes the other girls lipstick off of him and kisses him.

Now I’ve got some fuckin feelings.

Like. He says something dumb like “oh, nbd, the girl just wanted to try kissing, I’d rather be kissing you.”  

So like. Man is either a supervillain, ho edition, and is trying to see how far he can push her, or…idek.

Like. He’s obviously trying to persuade her to become part of the rotation, which is valid. But this just seems fuckin disrespectful to both of them. 

Except if I was flirting with someone at a party, and saw him kissing someone else, it wouldn’t bother me. I mean, ok yes, I’m a human person who gets jealous but…not angry or disapproving. More like “ooh i wanna be smooching them too, get it, girl” you know? Like it wouldn’t bother me to be one of a few people making out with him in one night. 

I miiight even feel weird to watch him ditch her to come make out with me?  

Im also established enm, and very open about it so…different dynamics.

This is me being genuinely annoyed at our boy for the first time

[with-the-same-tattoos]

Horror fans horror stans I am So sorry for fooling u into following me w my few last posts I mostly draw ocs and stuff I’m just going through a coping mechanism phase... i think... ok i used to watch horror movies a lot as a kid but like... yeah

also some super personalized analysis of the boy stuff underneath the cut bc Brahms hits different from some angles. As. Movies tend to do.Angles............... But yeah also spoilers an speculations

So anyways. s probs a lil fucked up that my immediate assumption was that, 8 yo Brahms, murderer or not, made the decision to burn down a house and live the rest of his life like a rat.... like too much fore planning but they depict the parents so well as sympathetic, that somehow my brain was like.. "yeah they probably did nothing wrong :)" and its such a massive like... i grew up with one parent who has strong manipulative tendencies, and one who has some slight unknowing manipulative moves, and it's visible in my grandparents too... n realizing that made me understand just how messy brahms' sitch is. Like, the vibe I get is, he's the type of insecure, sad and mean thing that thinks he needs to manipulate people into caring about him, not realizing that a non- calculative friendship, whatever is possible. Which he learned from his parents, i assume yada yada... who, they arent bad people, but probably grew up with similiar experiences, whatever. A loop of unrealized / excused bad behaviour... etc etc... khh   I think i got so massively attached immediately bcs I see myself in Brahms in that like... i see myself as someone who has falsified everything about themself to fool people into loving them, while being a complete failiour of a person, who in truth is a gross, hairy, socially incompitent shithead. Which is, imposter syndrome for dummies, but you know.... i still like... holds brahms gently... he may be an asshole but i also very much care abt him...... i am thinkinh about him a lot rn...

So yeah Pspspspspsps come back, come out of the walls pspspspsps, I just wanna talk, I just wanna be friends......

(Yeah me suddenly getting overly exited about somerhing dumb and over-armchair-emotion analyzing stupid characters) (im a fair bit sure he was more meant as an allegory for the type of abusive person who becomes / acts dependant on their victim, and its honestly kinda problematic to stomp over that message and focus on smth completely different... not sure if this is an appropriate comfort character :( but i have yet to come across another one who reflects the traits I fear of having so perfectly. Complicated) ( but yeah the boy is actually a pretty powerful movie) ( i say as i have no idea about movies.... idk what makes them good or bad) (but it was pretty powerful to me :)) 

[waynedunlaptheorgandonor]

can i say a sort of pointless rambly thing i was thinking about that i can't put under the cut bc i'm on mobile?

jk, i'm not actually asking. ramble below, not edited for clarity. the following is completely unclear and i will not fix it:

i've been thinking about how part of the reason i'm so chill about caryl is bc growing up as a queer woc 99% of my main ships were like, never gonna fucking happen bc they literally couldn't. it was like, "omg, they gazed at each other from across the room, let's analyze the homosexual subtext of this one scene for the next fifty years, that's not necessarily hyperbole." i've watched all my ships fuck other ppl/have other love interests, and i knew that my thing was never gonna be canon, so to see like, one thing being like, "one half of my ship fucked another person several years ago while pining for the other half of my ship," i'm like...#nice, bc that can and likely will be used as a plot point to get them together later on, whereas in other situations i've been in i just kinda had to deal with it. so my impulse when i see ppl losing their shit is to be like

and to be slightly annoyed, tbh, bc the ship is still on track to be canon, and it's like, literally two white heterosexuals, they're prime candidates for juicy angsty pining that actually gets a resolution.

but!

that being said, i recognize that that attitude isn't necessarily fair. for one thing, i'm not the only queer woc (or some variation thereof) in this fandom, and some ppl's impulse might be exasperation instead, bc like, "wtf, even my mayohet ship has dumb fucking drama," and that's valid as hell, and i get it.

and also, i get that, even if you didn't grow up shipping impossible ships (or mulder/scully, bc that's a brand of bullshit all its own), this has been a suuuuper drawn out process where sometimes it feels like they're legit sprinkling crumbs to keep you hooked, just to play you again, and when you are invested in something, like /rly/ invested, especially if it's a form of escapism or hyperfixation or whatever, that can be e x h a u s t i n g. and i get that. i truly do, and while i make a lot of snide comments about the fandom being bonkers, i do get where the bulk of you are coming from (unless you're one of those ppl who hate on actors and esp actresses for just doing their jobs, and attack them on social media, in which case i am very much judging you and you need to get your life together).

i also realize that in the scheme of things i'm still a newbie. i've been here, what, twoish/threeish years, whereas some of you have been here since the beginning, so i'm not as worn out as y'all. but i also think that gives me a bit of objectivity that some of y'all have (understandably) lost.

my positivity is not meant as a sleight against those of you who are feeling negative, but is more of a semi-objective viewpoint (i say semi, bc lbr, i'm invested af in this, so i definitely have bias), and to me the threads of the storyline they're crafting seem sort of obvious.

like, let's look at it, yeah? they have one season left of this show that has been on for over a decade. they need to cater to everyone to give them a satisfying ending, while still hanging on to carylers bc of the spin-off. darylrreah seems like a very calculated move, bc it gives them both something to make abcers happy, while also creating tension and suspense and pining for carylers (i think they might underestimate just how fed up some carylers are tbh, and are banking on us to hang on for one last ride, which, honestly? if they play it right will probably work.)

if they end up doing a dumb love triangle thing, which, without seeing the episode and gauging the subtext i can't confidently say if i think they will or won't, it will ultimately end in our favor. it has to, bc leah isn't going to third wheel them on the bike in the spin-off. we can say with good authority that whatever that relationship ends up being (again, idk if they'll drag it out or not) it will be temporary. which leaves caryl open to ride off into the sunset and then bone down in every state in the united states and in puerto rico for good measure.

it's a lot of cheap drama, but i really and truly do not think it's anything to worry about, and i still really and truly trust kang to not make it out of character. ik ppl still don't agree with me on that point, and i'm not gonna argue, but to me it really does make perfect sense.

and i also predict that they are gonna play it up hardcore in the promotional shit and talking dead, but when that happens, remember it's bc it gets attention. regardless of where the story is ultimately going, relationship drama gets attention, which gets viewers, which gets amc and twd producers nice and comfy with full pockets

idk. to sum up ig i just wanted to clarify that i don't mean any harm with my relentless positivity. my history in fandom has just made this seem like nothing in comparison, bc while ppl are freaking out, i'm like, "oh damn, they're actually gonna get together by the end of this, aren't they? i didn't know that could happen!" and that makes me excited instead of upset

and you definitely don't have to listen to me. maybe i'm actually wrong. maybe i'm completely full of bullshit and am just good at making things sound confident. i got a lot of As on papers in college over books i never read, i know how to bs. but i also know how to analyze, and i while i will be the first to tell you i am not the best at a great many things, i do know that i am good at critically analyzing text while taking into account the context it was written in, and imho all signs point to canon caryl. when, i'm not entirely sure, but i see it happening. if it doesn't then they severely fucked up their storytelling, and that'd just be bad writing on their part.

(if you want proof that i'm good at reading writers'/producers' intentions, consider that i watched like, 8 seasons of supernatural before giving up, and said to myself, "i think they're gonna make destiel canon, but not until the very last second bc they are rly into catering to their fans but also have to consider their dumb fanboy audience so they can't do anything crazy overtly gay," and guess who hit the nail on the fucking head on that one)

none of this is important, but it was rattling around my mind grapes and i wanted to write it down into something vaguely coherent, and where else better to do it than here. i can word vomit and then send it into the ether and pretend i never said a thing. i love this horrible website, nothing can compare

i have no real conclusion to this, it was mostly stream of consciousness, but i hope it sort of helps y'all understand where i'm coming from, and why i am as chill as i am about things. not about y'all. y'all cause me so much anxiety i get physically sick and have to legit block tags, but with the actual show content i'm zen as hell

uh

the end ig?

it feels weird even signing off on this, but w/e

-diz

[foryouthegays]

also if anyone wants me to transcribe a clip pls send an ask :) or find something :)

good laugh times: 00:40:10, 00:44:44, 00:54:30, 00:55:47 00:58:37

sellout timer: 00:30:40, 01:26:00

other things: (00:10:00 biiiiiig stretch!!!) (00:39:55 that was the most ‘skeppy tried to troll me but i trolled him first’ scream ive heard in a while a;lskdjfadl) (01:23:00 TECHNOSNEEZE TECHNOSNEEZE)

summary:

Technoblade starts the stream and finds an infinity room (a room covered in white item frames and backed with glowstone or sea lanterns, making it look like there is just Void and no end) covering his house. he removes the grief and continues his intro. While waiting for Tommy to join his VC, he finds a Zombie villager, cures it, and reads donations.

Techno and Tommy go to New L’manburg and fix one of Technos propaganda posters. They find Fundy and Ranboo and tell them that if Techno gets his sword back, he’ll help them fight the wither he’s going to spawn. He spawns the wither and runs around while Ranboo and Fundy try to kill it. He doesn’t get his sword back until a few minutes into the battle. Ranboo gives him both his sword and his axe after the Wither is killed by Punz and Fundy.

Fundy gets the Wither Star, and Techno decides that it’s rightfully owned by him. Tommy and Techno start torturing Fundy into giving them the Star. After Techno gets the star back, Tommy starts trying to get his disks back. Techno tells Tommy he’s going too far, and Fundy starts crying, and eventually dies.

Tommy and Techno start to move back to their house, and Tommy gets distracted with the idea of blowing up the community house. Techno convinces him otherwise, and eventually comes clean with his intentions and goals to destroy L’manburg. He asks Tommy to join him, and Tommy accepts.

They go to the wolf army and breed the dogs. While underground, they’re almost caught, but they run away before anyone can catch them.

Techno and Tommy talk about an eventual SBI meetup, make a beacon, and then end the stream.

loud startin the stream today!!!!! :D!!!!!! 10 sec in

oh hes actually loud today this is great his voice gets so nice when hes louder

00:00:30 ‘i’ve made a severe and continuous lapse in judgement” s;ladjfkald

00:00:50 diD HE MAKE AN INFINITY ROOM OR???? IS HE JUST????? WH AT???

oH MY GOD IT IS AN INFINITY ROOM AKSDFJALSDF IS THAT IN THE ACTUAL SMP OR????

aa;lskdfjasd someone mADE AN INFINITY ROOM A;LSDKFJASDF WHO????

00:03:00 i love how even minecraft g o d s cant remember fence gate/fence crafting recipes akdjhfald

00:04:45 ‘gUYS DON’T STAY IN SCHOOL!!!’ ‘n- no you should stay in school’ yeah, sure techno ‘collage dropout’ blade

00:05:17 ‘tommy, is this your credit card? let me read the numbers aloud, tommy’ -technos impression of tommys mom

zombie villager pog!

LISTEN TO HOW HE SAYS CONVENIENT AT 5:45 AHHH I LOVE HIM

00:07:35 why does,,,why does techno say disorientating instead of disorienting??? he says disorientating and i just,,,,,techno,,,,techno thats not the American way of saying it. also i didnt capitalize american bc of Being A Country i did it bc of Emphasis a;lksdfal

he stretch!!!!!! ten mins in

techno ate breakfast pog!!!! 00:10:30

13:00 a;lksdjfal

---

STOP MAKING TECHNO GOOD AT CHESS IN GAME HES SAID SEVERAL TIMES THAT HE IS NOT I AM GOING TO SCREAM more proof: 00:14:40 also he calls the chess board ‘the map’ and im akjsdfhkljasd

00:15:40 “i don’t think that dumb people become Minecraft youtubers, I think it’s that being a Minecraft youtuber makes you dumber.”

00:15:50 ‘i was a smart child, I was doing well in school--I mean I wasn’t doing my homework or anything but I was doing well on the tests,” a;lsdkfja

“it do be doing that” -technoblade 2021

WHY DOES HE JUST RANDOMLY KNOW CHESS OPENING NAMES IM SICK OF HIM WHY IS HE LIKE THIS  I HATE IT HERE AALSDKFJASF 00:17:45 its so funny he just reads wikipedia for fun and also same

‘YOURE TALKING SOUNDS’ -tommyinnit, 19:40

00:20:05 ‘tommy, tommy, you’re speaking words, but the only universal language is sounds.’

00:23:24 “we’re going to go threaten....some certain government agents...in minecraft, since I know the FBI is listenin in on my phone right now [techno gets further from his mic and some thuds can be heard] let me just toss that over there...there we go, now they can only listen through my laptop”

00:32:17 mmmm technoyell

fundy n ranboo!!!! 00:33:50

god could u imagine knowing that technos doin a plot stream nd he joins ur call w tommy and they just???? start talking abt the canonical status of ants and new york????? such is the life of ranboo nd fundy a;lksdfjals

WITHER POG WITHER POG WITHER POG WITHER POG 00:39:20

00:39:55 how does he make that sound im crying

HE LAUGH!!!!!!

a;lkdsfjasd ranboo bullying time 00:44:00

god could u imagine being a fan of the dream smp, joining and ur surrounded by all these people uve looked up too, and then they start bulling you?? such is the life of ranboo

torture time!!! 00:46:15, its to get back the star :D

00:50:45 its lowkey terrifying how techno calls torturing fundy to tears ‘the good times’ and laughs while tommy interrogates him. i love it, but also im scared of him. still an apologist. he needs his stuff back!

also like,,,,,techno telling tommy he went too far? terrifying. if techno says you went too far, thats saying something

HE LAUGH!!!!

HE LAUGH AGAIN!!!

my favorite part of techno tommy interactions is how technoll say like, a metaphor or smthin nd tommy just,,,,,,,, ‘yeAHHH BITCH’ its so funny. a good example is 00:56:00:

techno: if you want to make an omlette, you’ve gotta break a few eggs

tommy: yeaaahhhh!! break eggs and bitch!

techno: ....what?

its so funny to me ak;dfjlasjf

and like, their rambles are COMPLETELY different. techno does most of his hopping around in his head and talks about it once he’s figured out what he should do, and tommy just says things out loud without thinking its hilarious

and like, in game, techno is a LOT more calculated than people think. when tommy tries to get techno to blow up the community house, techno has to rein him back in because ‘i’m all for violence, but we need a plan.’ and ‘how would blowing up the community house get your discs back??’ he’s a lot more organized than most of his teammates nd i love it

but like,,,sometimes techno just Says things and its great.  00:57:20 ‘the only dirt we have on dream is his dirt shack, amirite? [claps] gottem. he’s homeless!! eyyyy. lmao.’

00:58:20 is good. also skyblock is canon now.

01:06:50 SBI MEETUP SBI MEETUP

also ‘i dont know about smiling, but’ a;ldkfjadls;fjasf

i love tommy nd techno just kinda vibing

01:16:30 ‘mmmm audience retention rate....mmmm ants’ aldkfja this stream is so dumb i love it

dID TECHNO USE THEY/THEM FOR ERET AT 01:20:55 OR WAS THAT A GENERAL ‘EVERYONE ELSE’ THEY

1:23:00ish TECHNOSNEEZE

A;LSDKFJAS LIKE AN HOUR AFTER GETTING HIS SWORD BACK HE REALZIES HE HAS IT BACK HES SUCH A NERD 01:24:45

he sounds V tired rn a;lsdkfjkasdf

STREAM TOMORROW TOO??? P O G

[syubub]

ENERGY CHECKUP: YOONGI (again)

Now, I know I've already done an energy check up on yoon but I wanted to see how he was doing now that he's gotten his shoulder surgery!

Disclaimer time: tarot is not to be takes as fact and is my interpretation if the cards :) entertainment purposes only~

SHIT IS STRANGE (it is Yoongi though so I'm not too shocked)

So. For starters, his energy is pretty calm and chill. He's also a bit more quiet?

I wrote a note that tomorrow is exciting... idk I wrote it down and I'm not sure if its exciting for him or for us? Maybe its just a general like, "tomorrow is a good day" type thing.

Now. 11... I wrote this down and I'm not sure why though I believe that he might be seeing 11:11 on the clock or possibly that something exciting is happening for him at 11:11 (I just checked and thats in like an hour and a half from when I'm writing this down(( update i just finished writing the whole post and it is about 11 minutes away)) idk. I make no promises but I wrote it down so there you go.

I also kept seeing plants and I'm not sure if people got him flowers or plants as a "get well" type thing or maybe he's stressing bc someone has to water his plants lol

Okay. Okay. Hear me out. Black bean noodles. It popped into my head and I was told to write it down but I'm also really hungry so take that with a grain of fucking salt. (I even pictured a nice elaborate bowl that was red as well as the take out container. Yum. Send me noodles)

MOVING ON

Here's the actual reading lol. He is bored.

Thats all. Thank you for coming.

Jk

I joke. The cards give me a kind of frazzled feeling? Its the struggle of knowing hes done something good but it comes at a cost. Yoongi works. A lot. All the goddamn time. So what now? He's having this shake up thats forcing him to deal with stuff. Him having this surgery also may have brought back some less than favorable memories/ feelings that hes being forced to deal with now. Over all though he feels like its good. The 6 of wands makes me think that he's thinking of our response when he comes back. Its like he's gonna be so much more confident in himself and his dancing and he can finally move on from the car accident? It happed so long ago but he literally carried this burden with him. Its good. The wheel of fortune and is about a change and the 8 of swords is about self imposed restriction, imprisonment and over all bad/ negative feelings. I pulled the wheel of fortune first and asked what was changing and that was the 8 of swords. This surgery is helping to free him from this restricting, painful thing that may have been reminding him of the past! YES HEALING

Now. For this section I just kinda asked "whats up?" And got, easy does it, divine life purpose l, balancing masculine and feminine energies and uplift your thoughts. He may be resting but he's got his mind working on 3,000 my dude. Its the regular "yoongi is woke af" bullshit but damn. The cards say what they say. He's preparing. I'll come back to this.

Now the 7 of cups and the 3 of swords. I asked how he felt about missing out on promoting. He's heart broken with the 3 of swords. It genuinely pains him. And with the 7 of cups he might feel like there's a lot of ways this can play out and he's considered a lot of options.

I was curious how he felt about me coming into his energy so I asked him what he thought of me. Lol. These each came out separately. We got, 2 of cups, four of wands, the empress, justice, the magician, the sun and the lovers. Ha

So. To add to the mood setting my guide said "he's a drama queen" lol yeah he is.

So so so so so. I was confused? Still am a little confused but I'm like 80.9% sure that he isn't bothered by me poking around in his energy n shit. In fact my theory is that he's using this connection to his advantage? Lol sounds dumb but my best guess is that home boy sees my energy/ what I'm doing as a way to figure out his own shit? Idk maybe he thinks I'm his energetic therapist. Maybe even a matchmaker (I mean... I have been putting a lot of energy and work into finding/ connecting with his soulmate so maybe he's letting me do all the dirty work) I really don't understand but I got no further explanation.

Oki oki oki. Now. I was drawn to 2 books. The kybalion and the prophet. I asked yoon if there was any messages that we wanted to point out through the books and I got a number for each book so I took it as page numbers. 28 for the prophet and 54 for the kybalion

Take what you will from these if it calls to you. I haven't read these since I was around 13? The sentiments for each felt important to me so I'm curious what you all might think/ feel when reading these? ( I also get the feeling that Yoongi has read the prophet idk why)

Okay. At this point I was like cool, let's wrap this up but I need to talk about his pjs? Green/grey? Plaid pj bottoms don't ask me don't ask me don't ask me I don't know but It wouldn't go away so I had write it down? Help.

I had written yoongis brother down too. Theres something about him? I'm not sure what but thats all I got lol

I was very strongly told that I needed to remember 7, that its important. Got it. Worth it down.

Oki. As I was going back to the platform blah blah blah the string turned blue too. The cord is usually white or silver but it was blue so that was a fun thing and then I was like "nice. Cool. Thanks. This was awesome, get healthy blah blah" and go to leave/ end the connection but the cord wouldn't go away.

???

What.

Then the string (idk if I said but that string shit is like on the third eye? Its connected to my forehead and his too.) Kind tightens.

I'm like, "oh shit."

Listen. Usually everything is smooth and nice and I just leave.

All is well though bc my guide is like, "stop being a little bitch" so I just let it happen.

Yoon shoves me back off the edge of the platform. Why he gotta be like that?

Now. This is strange. I had dropped down into a library.

Y'ALL

I almost shit my fucking pants. Dear god.

THE AKASHIC RECORDS MY DUDE

He started walking me around until he found a blue book. His mother fucking book.

Home boy brought me to his fucking Akashic fucking blue fucking book.

I was big mad. "YOU LITTLE FUCKER! YOUVE KNOWN ABIUT THIS SHIT?" And he was like, "duh"

I've never felt more disrespect lol

Also the way the library was presented was way way way different from how it looks to me. So thats an interesting note. Looking at his book, on the base of the spine is a number 7...

Oki. Cool. I asked if I could look and he said, "Sure, when you can find your way back."

This mother fucker threw me out of a meditative state. Have you ever woken up just before you hit the ground in one of those falling dreams? THAT WAS THE FEELING.

?? I'm not sure what the fuck just happened or if it holds actual significance.

Anyway. After cursing the fuck out of yoobi I started thinking what else 7 ment.

I was specifically told to remember 7 and it was on his book. Then It popped into my head (I want to say its because I'm smart and thought of it all by myself but I think that was my guide wanting me to keep my last brain cell safe). What is yoongis life path number?

Now I don't know shot about life path numbers but imma read up on them tonight. I used a life path calculator on Google. HIS LIFE PATH NUMBER IS 7 Y'ALL.

Maybe I'm dumb as fuck but yoobi never disappoints.

Conclusion: Yoon is fine. Hes just being a yoongi and a yoongi does.

⬆️Me after this reading⬆️

⬆️ Yoongi rn playing 12D chess⬆️

[weirdagnes]

AHSJ OKAY lemme present my new crACk ship lord: Miles/Waylon/Billy/Walrider i keep getting dumb ideas from quarantine, hElp

I have this headcanon that the Walrider still keeps Billy's consciousness/life even though he doesn't have a physical body anymore. And now Miles is basically like a living three-people man (???) Billy is still alive (but veryy emotionless and very different), and he can take form when he wants to. Billy, not entirely himself anymore, shares Miles' feelings/personality/habits. So when Miles fell in love with Waylon, he feels it too that doesn't mean that he approves of him right away lmao

The Walrider is more of an obedient being that has no sense of independence (and it expresses no desire to do so). It's taking command from Miles' emotions and subconscious desires/objectives and acts on the best course of action (probably calculates it and stuff) without considering much the host's opinion about it, rather than taking commands from Miles' thoughts. So this means: Walrider is not hostile unless its host is; Walrider will not label someone as special unless the host does.

SO combining this headcanon with camerashipping, wouldn't it be funny to see Waylon try not to freak out bc he didn't know that dating Miles also meant dating freaking Billy and the Walrider?

[awkward-child-of-satan]

Criminally in Love

An analogical fic by yours truly

Logan and Virgil are roommates and dumb idiots (I know what I said) who are obviously in love but too oblivious to realize the feeling is mutual. Now let's rob them of their earthly possessions shall we?

Virgil is non binary with two different eye colors bc why not

Potential triggers : suffocation and attempted murder. (if I missed anything don't hesitate to lmk )

Enjoy!

It had been a quiet night at first. Two friends sat on opposite ends of the couch trying not to seem contemplative. The one on the right was a tall, calculating man with black squared glasses and hair that was tinted blue as a result of lost bet.The one on the right hair that was tinted blue as result of lost bet.If one were to look close, they would see purple hair and dark eyeshadow framing mismatched eyes.Eyes the person in question hated, but the man opposite of them could get lost in if given the chance.

 

Of course, he'd never admit it out loud. If he did, the whole place would go into chaos and comfortable nights like this would be lost. This was his only neutral. The only way to maintain his relationship with his best friend. He had to keep these thoughts to himself. He had to keep himself at arms length and watch what he said. It was overall exhausting, but ultimately worth it.

 

" Hey Lo?" His thoughts were interrupted by the figure to his right. He looked up at them and found both blue and green eyes staring up at him smiling softly.

 

"Yes Virgil?"

 

"I'm gonna head on up to bed, ok?"

 

"Of course, don't let me stop you. I'll see you in the morning then?"

 

"Yea, you will."

 

And just like that, Virgil stood up, stretched, and walked upstairs to their room down the hall from Logan's.

 

Seeing that there was nothing keeping him downstairs alone he decided that the best course of action would be to go to sleep himself. Standing up, he went and shut off the lights, making his way towards the stairs. As he walked up, step by step he couldn't help but feel as though something were off in his small, shared house. Mentally checking through everything he locked and shut off, he concluded that he was just tired and paranoid. All the more reason to get to bed, he thought, making his way up the stairs again.

 

Finally arriving at the top of the stairs, he was faced with a door brandishing a purple storm cloud and lightning. Logan smiled, thinking back on the day he helped Virgil paint the door. It may have taken 3 weeks of accidental peeks of bare skin, but Virgil found the door completely worth it, and that's all that Logan cared about.

 

Finally returning to the present, he gave a small knock on the door and entered upon hearing a small voice saying 'come in'. The room was painted all black with different Halloween decorations scattered around the room. (But it's the middle of March, why do you need so many bags of spider web? Because, Logan, it's my aesthetic.) He looked over at the Nightmare Before Christmas comforter and smiled, repeating a phrase he said every night.

 

"I'm going to head to bed myself, feel free to wake me up in case of anything."

 

To which Virgil giggled and said their reply:

 

"Why, would I do that when you clearly need your beauty sleep?"

 

Both friends laughed lightly and waved goodnight, not daring to break the tension. It was always like this. Every night. Everyday. All the time. It was as though they were trapped in a time vertex and every time they came close to confessing, it would start over. They were prisoners to their own feelings and insecurities. Forever in the friend zone, never to make a move. It was almost pathetic the way they let their fears control them. But it was all they had. And it's all they needed.

 

___________________

 

It was a loud crash that awoke Logan a few hours later. He sat straight up and looked around, finding his room incredibly still. He closed his eyes and listened for anything unordinary. There was a muffled shuffling of feet coming from down the hall but Logan was unsure if it was actually Virgil or not. I'm sure there's no harm in finding out, he reasoned.

 

Crawling out of bed he noticed the bathroom window was opened and his anxiety had spiked. Virgil never opened windows in the middle of the night as it was too cold. Realization finally dawning on him, he ran to the next room, accidentally hitting something behind the door that let out a loud 'oomph'.

 

Quickly, he ran to the light switch and turned the light on, revealing two masked figures, one on the floor and the other on top of Virgil, holding a pillow over his face. Upon seeing the attempted murder, Logan ran over to the bed and pushed the black clad intruder off of Virgil and punched them square in the jaw. Attempting to keep them further away from Virgil as possible, he went over to the figure on the floor and attempted to restrain him. On the bed, Virgil let out a deep gasp, attempting to get as much air as possible. Finally catching their breath, they addressed their roommate on the floor

 

"Logan wha-"

 

"Virgil call the police, now!"

 

Scrabbling to get to the phone as soon as possible, they nearly tripped over the other intruder on the floor, hitting him on the head harder than intended. It was as though they were in a movie scene and everything around them was life or death, causing a spike in anxiety and urgency.

 

It was about another 20 minutes until the police arrived and took both intruders into custody. The two roommates on the other hand stood leaning on a police car, both giving their statements of the incident. Afterwards, both of them looked at each other, trying to figure out what to say next, the tension once again surfacing in their eyes. Surprisingly enough, it was Virgil who broke the silence.

 

"Uhm, thank you, for the uh-, well the-, um, for saving my life."

 

Logan nodded, "Are you alright?"

 

"Yeah I'm ok, although my throat does hurt. I'll be fine in the morning."

 

A new silence fell upon them. Logan, more frustrated now than before decided to be the first to speak this time.

 

"Are you going to be okay in your own room? I know you kind of had an unpleasant experience right now-"

 

"I'll be fine. I might just feel a bit uneasy after tonight, one never knows when they're about to be attacked." They said, their voice dropping low along with their head, attempting to avoid eye contact. Logan lifted their head to meet his, and looked at them in their beautiful eyes. Virgil held their breath, trying not to break the tension or the bubble,they should say, that both friends tried to maintain.

"I will always watch over you, this I swear Virgil. "

They let out a laugh that came out more like a huff, and looked down again before looking back at Logan's deep brown eyes.

"You really think I'm worth so much fuss?"

"Every bit of it, and more," he paused, hesitating before deciding to continue, "Virgil, you mean the moon to me, and I don't ever want to lose you. Every atom and molecule in my body screams out to you unlike anyone else I've ever known. At first I couldn't place the feeling since it hurt as much as it felt good, but I figured it out and," he paused again, trying to think rationally about it. But he couldn't continue to just stay friends with the smaller figure before him, so he had to say it.

"Virgil Storm, I believe that I've fallen head over heels in love with you, and I must certainly do not intend to get back up."

Both friends were silent, not knowing what to say. The bubble was finally broken and feelings were out in the open. Virgil looked down at their feet, tears forming in their eyes as they tried to figure out what was supposed to come next. Confusion and uncertainty filled their mind as they went through everything that could possibly go wrong. Yet for some reason, a voice in the back of their head told him to stop. That nothing will go wrong because they loved Logan too. The voice that said that just loving each other was enough for now, and that they could worry about everything else later because now they knew, Logan loved them too.

They looked up at Logan and saw the absolute great in his eyes after their long pause. Virgil couldn't help but feel bad but they knew that Logan understood that they needed the time to work through their feelings and come to the conclusion that they did. Thats why they work so well together, because Logan understood and Virgil took the precautions needed to understand everything that was going on. They smiled as they looked back into the dark chocolate swirls that were Logan's eyes and finally gave him the answer he was waiting for.

"Logan Crofters, I'm in love with you too, and I don't plan on doing anything to change that."

And with that, they cupped Logan's face, bringing it closer to them and put their foreheads together. The two of them stayed there for a while, closing their eyes and basking in the bliss of newfound love and cherishing the moment of just being there, and never being alone again.

 Tag List:

@periwinklepost-its

@myhorriblepropeladdiction @thefluffyotter33

[nekomasmissingmanagers]

hi, i’m here for a matchup please!! i use she/her pronouns and i am a straight asexual. i’m a scorpio sun, virgo moon, sag rising, and a libra venus! my mbti is isfp and my top love languages are physical touch and quality time. i’m somewhere between a slytherin and a ravenclaw (pottermore is weird) but i think i’m more of a slytherin tbh. i’m 5’3-5’4 ish, i might have grown or something. i have a slim ish athletic figure since i do ballet and i’m pretty active in general. i have wavy dark-brown-almost-black hair that reaches the middle of my back but im chopping it to my shoulders soon, might fuck around and dye it white or lilac too. when i’m not doing ballet or homework i’m probably experimenting with different outfits (my style is mostly black + white + earth tones and a mix of streetwear and dark and chaotic academia) or i’m sleeping. i’m a busy person so i don’t have a lot of freetime to myself but i try to make the most of what i have. i have a major rbf and it doesn’t help that i’ve been wearing more sharp winged eyeliner, but at least i feel pretty and badass (,: personality wise i’m a quiet person overall, i’m reserved and i don’t have a lot to say but my thoughts are very abundant and diverse. i trip over my words most of the time too if i don’t take the time to calculate and rehearse in my head, but i usually still trip over a word or two anyway, hence the physical touch love language. even if i am quiet that doesn’t mean that i don’t have a sense of humor! you can expect a lot of memes, sarcastic quips, roasts that are coated with love, etc., ESPECIALLY when texting or if im comfortable around whoever im with !! however i do match energies, whatever energy you give off is what ur getting back. i’m a very perceptive and intuitive person, i can read the room and read people easily so i always somehow know what to say. i’m adaptive to everything, however i do adapt to people’s personalities a lot so that has made me a social chameleon. i can fit into any group but i’ve never felt like i belonged, yknow?? still tho its made me well known among my peers. anywho when you get to know me you’ll see just how chaotic i can be, but not the super loud chaotic, more like the “how bad of an idea can it be to give me a knife??” chaotic. i’m resourceful and i do my best to be calculating, but yknow sometimes i act with my heart instead of my head. also im not like.. big on pda, just hand holding or an arm around my shoulder or a kiss on the cheek is fine for me. even then im not like, big on makeout sessions in private either (no sex at all either pls! just tryna be a happy ace), im just here for cuddles and cute domestic shit but also spontaneous 3am adventures and travelling a lot and just all that dumb kids in love thing. i love art history, history, literature, and psychology and other humanitary subjects since im good at them but i have to try significantly hard in maths and sciences (still a top student tho). i’m an absolute night owl bc of this, i’m very sleepy and can fall asleep anywhere but i can also stay awake for a while too. last tidbit i can think of is that there are days where i need to shut myself in my room and not socialize or interact while i recharge. im unfortunately hyperaware of myself and how i spend all my energy on others, so being by myself helps me keep my sanity. i guess i wouldnt mind having my boy there with me for cuddles and being together in comfortable silence + whatever music is playing, i just want him to understand that i cant change this about myself and that i need to recharge. its okay if he tries to get me out of my comfort zone but if he ignores me giving signs that its too much, i dont think we could work. just know that im very loving, even if im not the best at being verbal about it. UHHH thats all i have, thank you soso much!! sorry for it being super long ahhh

thank you so much for your request!

we match you with: yahaba shigeru

→  like you, yahaba isn’t very big on pda and will hold your hand when the two of you are out on dates together. if there’s a lot of people he’ll but his arm around you to make sure you don’t get lost in the crowd.

→ yahaba loves the duality between your quieter personality and your sense of humor. he appreciates the memes you send him, and he loves your sporadic quips especially over text.

→ aoba johsai is a team that uses physical affection as a way to tell each other that they are there so you can expect a lot of small soft touches from yahaba. they’ll usually come in the form of a head pat or giving your a slight squeeze while he’s holding it.

→ if you’re ever struggling in math or science, yahaba is more than happy to have a study date with you. whether he’s helping you with math or you’re explaining art history or psychology concepts to him, he enjoys the more intellectual sides of your dates as most people usually acknowledge him as shallow despite him being in an advanced class.

→ when you need time to yourself, yahaba is very understanding of that and unless you say it’s alright for him to be there with you, he’ll send texts to check in to see how you’re doing. He’ll also pick up your favorite snacks for you and ask if he can swing by to give them to you.

→ if you’re up too late and yahaba catches you, he’ll either try to get you to sleep or he’ll stay up with you for late night warm drinks and talking. when he tries to get you to go to sleep, he’ll cuddle with you and doesn’t mind being the big or little spoon. if he’s staying up with you, he’ll either make tea or hot chocolate for the two of you to talk over.

→ a common date for you and yahaba is going on walks together, sharing earbuds, hand in hand, and just enjoying each other’s company. more often than not you and yahaba will be out late into the night since you both lost track of time.

admin rose’s second choice: nobuyuki kai

admin camellia’s second choice: yaku morisuke

[imtrynnawriteshit]

Kassandra x reader x Alkibiades

I have nothing to say for myself

@ the anon who requested this: you're now allowed (and in some countries even legally obligated) to punch me!!!

Also you're v good friends with Aspasia in this bc the beginning had been stuck in my head for ages lmao

Thank c:

Words: I edited this on Tumblr mobile and now I'm too lazy to check (I'll do it later though. Maybe)

Warnings: Two swear words, I think. And the usual: suggestive themes, terrible writing, too many commas, me projecting my thirst onto y'all (I'm sorry, pals :/)

Characters: Kassandra, Alkibiades, Reader, a whole lotta name throwing, Herodotos makes a friendly appearance :)

Relationships: Kassandra x reader, Alkibiades x reader, Kassandra x reader x Alkibiades

Request: Your Kassandra/Reader gave me an idea for a request so sorry if its dumb haha. Basically I was super happy you included Alkibiades because hes my FAV and I'd die for him. ANYWAY. Could you write one where the reader is at Perikles symposium, and has always had a thing for Alkibiades but was too shy to take him up on his offers, and always regretted it. But then she meets Kassandra and WHAM INSTANT CRUSH so she basically convinces the reader to... eh. Join in the fun? Heh.

Damn Aspasia and her need to arrive fashionably late. She’d promised she wouldn’t be too long this time, but you should’ve known better. And here you thought you'd done a good job convincing her.

You’d been standing around for ages, casually mingling with the guests and steering very, very clear of Sokrates, no matter how many times he tried to catch your eye. You’d have to drain the city of it's wine before you could even consider the thought of engaging him in conversation. At a party, no less. You were here to enjoy yourself, and that did not include a conversation about philosophy going nowhere.

You’d just left Euripedes and Aristophanes to tease Sophokles when you ran into an already extremely tipsy Alkibiades, who seemed thoroughly pleased to see you.

His hands immediately landed on your waist to steady himself, yours going to his shoulders to aid him. You held on to him softly (after all, he might end up stumbling again, and you were a good friend who looked out for others; or at least, that's what you told yourself), and you almost had to physically restrain yourself from running your hands through his hair. Your stomach fluttering, you prayed to every deity that you didn't end up making an absolute fool of yourself.

“I hoped I'd run into you tonight," he paused, leaning in closer, taking in your form hungrily. "And don't you look absolutely delicious."

By the gods. You tensed slightly, your hands beginning to tremble a little. Thankfully, he didn't notice, although his hands did drop to your hips.

"Join me, wouldn’t you? The night is still young, and there’s so much more we can do to make it more…interesting.”

At Aspasia's request, you'd worn the robes she'd gifted you a while back. They were flattering, very much so, and Alkibiades’ attention proved it.

Then again, he didn’t really need an excuse to proposition you.

“I-It’s nice to see you too, Alkibiades, but-“

“But you can’t, yes, so I’ve heard. Many times. Trust me (Y/N), one of these days, I’m going to see if you’re just as magnificent behind closed doors.”

You just shook your head, smiling bashfully as he turned to walk away, stumbling into a pillar. Heaving a sigh, you decided to at least try and have a proper conversation with him tonight, one that didn't involve you stumbling over your words. Baby steps, right?

You were in the middle of hyping yourself up when you noticed Herodotos standing alone by the entryway, watching the festivities. You were approaching him when he was suddenly joined by a woman, someone you didn’t know.

But by the gods did you want to.

Herodotos smiled and shook your hand when you were closer to the pair, accidentally interrupting their conversation.

“(Y/N)! It’s good to see you again."

“You too, Herodotos. I didn't mean to interrupt, I'm sorry."

He smiled, shaking his head. "You always were too polite for your own good. It's no problem at all."

Even as you addressed him, you glanced at the woman by his side. "It’s been a while. I haven’t seen you in Athens, lately.”

“I’ve taken to travelling the Greek world. This is Kassandra of Sparta”, noticing your gaze, he gestured to the woman beside him, who was watching you with an expression you couldn’t quite place, “a misthios, and the commander of the ship I'm sailing on. Kassandra, this is (Y/N) of, well, Athens."

"A pleasure to meet you, Kassandra."

"Believe me, (Y/N), the pleasure is all mine."

You could've melted right there. The sound of your name rolling off her tongue was now possibly one of your favourites. Your face must've given you away, because you swore you could see the beginnings of a smirk on her lips. That you now couldn't stop staring at. You were quickly snapped out of your daze by Herodotos excusing himself to find the host.

Kassandra was quick to continue the conversation.

"How do you know Perikles?"

Thankfully, you'd become accustomed enough to this question that you weren't too flustered, and your response was almost automatic.

"Oh, my brother is one of the proedroi, and doesn't usually attend parties, so I'm forced to come instead. Not that I'm complaining, of course, it’s how I’ve managed to become well acquainted with Perikles and Aspasia." You smiled softly at her, trying not to let your eyes drop below her face.

It didn’t work, but you also didn't regret it too much. Those arms were sinful, and you could only imagine what they could do-

You shook your head slightly, mortified at how you'd been so caught up in your daydream you'd taken to ogling her, and thought you caught a glimpse of amusement in her eyes.

Why, oh why did this only ever happen to you?

You needed to leave before you embarrassed yourself any further, but at the same time, you were reluctant to deprive yourself of her company. Which was ridiculous, considering you barely knew her.

As if you weren’t bad enough when it came to Alkibiades.

At the same time, the fact that she was from Sparta intrigued you. And you were nothing if not curious. Clearing your throat, you continued, "but I must say, I'm surprised to see a Spartan here. What brings you to Athens?”

At this, she seemed to consider you for a moment. Her gaze had become calculating, and you almost felt uncomfortable under her scrutiny. But you must've looked trustworthy to her.

Or just harmless enough to deal with in case she was wrong.

(You hoped it was the former.)

“I’m searching for a Spartan woman. My mother. Herodotos thought I might have been able to find some information here."

You frowned in thought. You weren't sure of how much information she'd find, but the least you could do was point her in the right direction. “Unfortunately, I won’t be of much help to you-"

"Now, that is unfortunate. I would have loved to repay you in any way I could." Was it just you, or were her eyes lidded?

You had a hard time trying to finish what you were saying when your treacherous mind was instead focused on the suggestive tone her voice had taken, but you managed.

"but, I think, um, Alkibiades might know something. Aspasia too, but she - she isn’t here yet.”

She let out a little chuckle. "So you were of help anyway. Thank you, (Y/N)."

She smiled then, and gently squeezed your shoulder. Your skin burned under her touch, and almost as if she knew that, she let her hand trail down your arm before pulling away to talk to the others, throwing you another inexplicable look over her shoulder.

You definitely needed more to drink.

-

You were stunned, to say the least, when she found you again in the kitchens. The pitcher of wine in your hands, a source of comfort only a moment ago, now felt heavy with...shame, was it? You couldn't tell. The rush in which you set it on the table behind you only made you it worse.

Kassandra, however, didn’t notice. Or maybe just didn’t care. She stepped closer to you, glancing around the tiny room as you involuntarily took a step back.

Your nerves must have made themselves known, because she only closed the distance between the two of you, her amusement plain on her features now.

“I don’t bite, you know.”

What on earth were you supposed to say to that?

“I-I didn’t-“

“Unless”, she continued, ignoring your, frankly, pathetic attempt at redeeming yourself, “you’d like me to.”

Fuck.

You let out a shaky laugh, hyper aware of everything around you: the table digging into your back, Kassandra only inches away from you, the tension in the air.

Gulping audibly, you cleared your throat.

“Are you - is there something I can help you with?”

“You know, I believe there is. Alkibiades asked me to find some oil for him. You seem to be well acquainted with the kitchen", her voice had a teasing lilt to it as she shot the pitcher a pointed look. You wished the gods would take pity on you and strike you where you stood. They didn't. "So I hoped you'd know.”

You did, and with a stuttered "of course", you turned to grab it. Handing it to her proved to be a little difficult, though, when she pulled you even closer (if that was possible), her hands on your waist. You were fairly certain your heart had stopped beating.

“You’re looking a little tense.”

“Oh, uh, I hadn’t noticed. I think it might be the wine-”

“Wine relaxes you, (Y/N), but it looks like it hasn’t worked at all. Here, come with me.”

And before you could protest, you were led away, one of her hands now on the small of your back. In the blink of an eye, you found yourself in front of a door, which opened to reveal Alkibiades.

A very naked Alkibiades.

You immediately averted your eyes, questioning every decision that led you to this point. Kassandra, on the other hand, seemed unaffected.

"Your oil."

Oh, you were still holding it. Still looking anywhere but at the two of them, you held it out for Alkibiades to take. And for the second time, you were left holding it as he reached for you instead.

Kassandra grinned. "You're a shy one, aren't you?

"I just...didn't expect -"

"There's a lot you wouldn't expect from me, but I always satisfy." Alkibiades' grip tightened around you. "What say we put this oil to good use and I prove it?"

You hesitated, but you knew that you wanted to. Especially with the way those two were looking at you.

"I certainly wouldn't be opposed to it." Kassandra said, wearing a salacious smile that was mirrored on Alkibiades and almost made your knees buckle.

"After all, what's a party without a little fun?"

Oh, what the hell.

"You're right." The gleeful surprise on their faces filled you with a sense of confidence. "A little fun never hurt anyone."

"Although, my fun is hardly little", Alkibiades said as they led you in. Only one coherent thought ran through your mind as the door closed behind you:

Fuck baby steps.

[mightypocketcow]

Pooh Characters as Queer Environmentalists

No seriously.  I had a very vivid dream involving all the Winnie The Pooh characters as a group of enthusiastic (and queer) environmentalists who meet once a week to talk about environment things because they’re nerds.

Starring Christopher Robin, Pooh, Tigger, Rabbit, Kanga, Roo, Gopher, Eeyore, and Piglet.

·       Christopher Robin

o   33 years old

o   Head/leader/founder of the Environmentalist Group

o   Really interested in saving the whales

o   Chill dude, but kind of an airhead

o   Everyone thinks he’s some kinda office worker

o   One day someone accidentally found out that he’s the CEO of some green-planet organization and runs this group for fun to see what kinds of ideas he can get and to see what people think of environmentalist efforts

o   He always credits people for their ideas, but people assumed that he just worked for the company, not that he ran the damned thing

o   A pansexual icon

o   Has been to every single pride event that their city has ever had

o   Rumour has it he started the pride events

o   Wilder rumour has it he threw the first stone at the Stonewall Riots

o   Even wilder rumour has it that he’s an immortal vampire who survives on the blood of homophobes

o   He won’t deny any of these rumours but has yet to confirm it

o   Has a genderqueer partner that literally nobody has met

o   Seriously, not even Pooh

·       Pooh

o   29 years old

o   Really wants to save the bees

o   Like, REALLY wants to save the bees

o   Vegetarian, but because he doesn’t like meat

o   Massive sweet tooth; dentists hate him!

o   Ace/Aro

o   Loves children, wants to adopt his own someday

o   Babysits Roo all the time

o   Kanga and him are best friends

o   He brings little sweets for Roo every meeting

o   Perhaps a little bit of a pothead but he’s not addicted

o   He just smokes a joint once in a while to chill out

o   A stereotypical “make love not war” hippie

o   Nice to everyone all the time

o   Cries when someone is mean to him

o   Gets uncomfortable when people hit on him

o   Christopher’s little brother

o   A visual artist; uses lots of colours and sells his art at galleries and markets

·       Tigger

o   27 years old

o   ADHD

o   Like SUPER ADHD

o   Gay

o   Hit on Pooh once but when Pooh got uncomfy he backed off

o   Thought maybe Pooh was uncomfortable with gays and was confused and sad

o   When he found out Pooh was Ace/Aro he totally understood

o   They’re good friends now

o   Really wants to save rainforests and trees

o   A freelance writer; his books are elementary school Magic Treehouse shit

o   Very much into fantasy shit, his non-children’s series’ lore is always the deepest mindfuck ever, how the hell did he even come up with that

o   Bestselling author tho

o   Kinda famous tbh but he doesn’t like media attention

o   He just thinks everybody should have fun all the time

o   Does he vape? Probably.  Has anyone ever actually seen him do it?  No.

o   Does he sleep? Probably.  Has anyone ever actually seen him do it?  Once.

o   Kanga caught him powernapping when she came into one of the first meetings really early, but all she did was put a blanket on him and leave to go to the convenience store or something to stay out for a bit longer so he could rest

o   He didn’t know who it was until a bit later he figures it was her since she’s always knitting and it was a very pretty knitted thing

o   That’s his momma figure now

·       Rabbit

o   25 years old

o   Vegan and very in-your-face about it

o   “Bugs are important to the ecosystem but boy do I hate them in my garden”

o   Scifi enthusiast

o   Post-apocalyptic things slightly terrify him because he believes that’s how the world is gonna go

o   A bit of a conspiracy theorist

o   Genuinely believes the government is vaguely spying on everybody

o   Did Bush do 9/11?  Who knows… but the moon landing was real, and the earth is round, don’t be dumb

o   Just identifies as queer, doesn’t like labels

o   A very organized person but when he’s very upset perfectionism scares him bc he thinks he’s not ever gonna be good enough and will mess things up on purpose

o   Has a long-distance boyfriend

o   A farmer

·       Kanga

o   38 years old

o   Divorced trans woman

o   Has a 5 year old son that she fostered as a baby and adopted when he was 4

o   Recycles aggressively

o   Calls everyone “dear”

o   Uses reusable bags and plastic containers all the time

o   Knits a lot, everybody always gets scarves or mitts or hats for Christmas

o   Usually in the design of ‘planet earth’, but also makes pride flag designs and takes requests for fave colour schemes

o   Vegetarian but not aggressive ab it like Rabbit is

o   You know what she is a bit aggressive about? Recycling

o   If you throw something that’s recyclable in the garbage in front of her...

o   Lord help you

o   Last man who did that was never seen again

o   Okay that’s a lie, he was seen two weeks later

o   But he was advocating for a save the whales organization on the side of the road and wearing all thrift store clothing

o   She traumatized him into throwing himself into the environmentalist pit headfirst

o   Thinks Gopher is just a big softie; is the only one who is super nice to him all the time (besides her son, and Pooh who is nice to literally everyone)

o   Kinda has a thing for the grumpy man but won’t admit it

o   She’s like an accountant or something, nobody knows what she does for a living but she seems to be well-off

·       Roo

o   The adopted 5 year old son

o   A little bit spoiled, but not just by Kanga, by everyone in the group

o   Loves sitting in on the meetings

o   His first sentence at 15 months was “recycle that!”

o   Loves blue because of recycle bins

o   Literally wears nothing but blue

o   Will accept things that are less than 100% blue as long as its more than 50% blue

o   Also likes things with pink on them

o   Thinks Tigger is the coolest person ever

o   Doesn’t understand all of Tigger’s books but reads them anyway

o   Except the non-children’s ones of course

o   Reads everything he can get his hands on

o   Don’t let him get his hands on anything inappropriate for a 5 year old

o   Asks a lot of questions

o   Everyone adores him

o   His mama is his favourite person on the planet but also Mr Tigger is so cool

o   He likes Mr Gopher too, he thinks Mr Gopher is great because of “how happy Mama is when he’s around”

·       Eeyore

o   23 years old

o   Has depression

o   Trans boy

o   Just really wants friends

o   Wants to help the planet

o   Is a massive pessimist that thinks the world is doomed

o   Very smart boy

o   Talks about CO2 emissions and carbon taxes

o   A university student studying some kinda chemical engineering

o   Very quiet

o   Bit of a crush on piglet tbh

o   Has a big love for superheroes without powers because he loves the idea of things being solvable through hard work mixed with passion and technology

o   Except he doesn’t believe it because his depression makes him super pessimistic

o   Also a big tech nerd

·       Gopher

o   45 years old

o   Landlord of their meeting place

o   Grumpy ass old man

o   Sometimes people are grumpy right back to him and he’s ok with that

o   Actually a soft spot for these weird hippies and joins them sometimes but says its because he wants to make sure they’re not damaging the place (they know that’s a big fat lie but won’t say anything)

o   Will fight anyone who mocks them

o   Has actually fought someone who mocked them

o   Has not told them about said fight

o   Especially adores Roo

o   Thinks Kanga is a bit of an odd woman but also thinks she’s very pretty

o   Repressed bisexual

o   He thinks nobody knows he’s bi but eventually when he kinda mentions it he realizes everyone knows

o   Specifically, Piglet and Kanga are super supportive

o   He definitely actually has a crush on Kanga, who knitted him a bisexual flag scarf once

o   He wears it all the time but will vehemently deny that it’s the same scarf when called on it

o   Big brawny weirdo

o   Was a football player in college and can definitely bench-press everyone

o   Works construction now, which is why he’s still in good shape

o   Actually a brilliant man, can architect and calculate like nobody’s business

o   Will help Piglet with his mathematics homework in exchange for Piglet teaching him more things about the LGBT+ community

o   After a while he realizes that perhaps genderfluid fits him well but Piglet is sworn to secrecy

o   Has a daughter who is institutionalized for her mental health issues that grew beyond his care

o   Piglet reminds him of his daughter and he’s very protective

o   That’s why he legit fought that asshole who mocked the “little F****t hippies”

o   He was almost arrested for assault on that one actually

o   The cop was a buddy of his and 100% believed the “defense of those who can’t defend themselves” explanation that Gopher had

o   Got off with a warning and fined for “disturbing the peace” or some mundane BS

·       Piglet

o   21 years old

o   Gay and demiboy

o   Anxiety disorders through the roof

o   OCD

o   Recycling is a compulsion

o   Reducing energy consumption too

o   He checks his lights all the time

o   He walks or bikes everywhere

o   He says it’s to reduce CO2 emissions

o   He’s just scared of vehicles

o   Has some kinda PTSD but nobody knows the source

o   He got into a massive car accident when he was little

o   Because his father was angry and speeding

o   His mother died in the accident

o   But nobody knows this!  Someday he will tell them tho

o   Today is not that day

o   Tomorrow is not that day either

o   But someday

o   Crush on Eeyore

o   Also a university student

o   Studying mathematics because it makes sense to him

o   Gopher reminds him of his grumpy old gay uncle who died when he was in high school

o   Feels like he can actually not double-check or cross-reference anything that Gopher teaches him because he trusts him a lot

o   Still will sometimes check everything if he’s having a bad day

o   Gopher doesn’t mind, he understands that Piglet has a lot of anxiety issues

o   Has an exception in his uni file to be able to take twice as long on his exams and tests and get an extra few days for assignments because he checks every single answer 3 times

o   His OCD number is 3, everything is 3, he turns his lights on and off 3 times, etc

[roominthecastle]

“Anybody can become angry, that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way, that is not within everybody’s power, that is not easy.” - Aristotle, The Art of Rhetoric

Well, look at that ancient Greek dude rolling out a pitch-perfect summary of - what I currently consider to be - Liz’s core issue on TBL. My core issue is that I cannot keep things brief, so I’ll poke this some more bc damn S5 was so much better than I expected, and it left me with an urge to try and sort this canon mess into sth I can swallow.

What’s the deal with Liz, why is her relationship with Red in such a terrible shape at the end of S5, and why is that a likely promise of better things to come?

It’s possible to look at this deterioration as a more or less continuous (organic!) process that reaches back at the very beginning; a process to which both characters have contributed their fair share over the years and now they are reaping the consequences and setting themselves up for a potentially healing collision.

I. Liz has narcissistic traits. Red is a natural born charmer with closely-guarded secrets and a pervasive guilt-complex. Putting them together is like putting mints in a bottle of coke: even on a perfect sunny day it's the kind of fun that leaves a mess.

II. Liz’s traits are amplified by Red’s behavior and Red’s behavior is warped by Tom’s presence. When Red scales things back (i.e. stops going on guilt-trips whenever others don’t feel like facing the consequences of their actions), it only makes things worse. This is the dark side of their intense "lock and key" dynamic, the deep angst pit that has been fore-fronted since S3B due to a rapid sequence of betrayals Red suffers from those closest to him. Tom triggers both empathy and repulsion in him, which in turn feeds his self-hatred and prompts him to keep enabling Liz out of guilt, creating an unsustainable bubble that finally bursts in S5.

III. The current name of the game for Liz is repression and denial, for Red it’s still obsession and rumination. At any given time Liz works off of a partial image of him, which is less about him keeping things from her and more about her purposefully ignoring parts of him in a misguided and doomed attempt to keep an illusion of safe simplicity (she does this with Tom, too). Meanwhile Red displays clear signs of compassion fatigue, which comes with its own destructive habits and distortions of reality.

IV. Sprinters are bad at running marathons. This simple truth has been a background tension factor in the Red/Liz relationship from the get-go. It’s mirrored in Red’s earlier troubles with Madeline and in Liz’s “Tom problem”. It keeps them united yet out of sync, which leads to misunderstandings, doubts, and quite a lot of friction.

more on these behind the cut:

I. Liz has narcissistic traits. Red is a natural born charmer.

Liz has a narcissistic streak and a tendency to delude herself as a messed-up coping mechanism, all of which she voices right off the bat in the pilot episode when Cooper asks her to profile herself (and to give us a brief intro to the character). These manifest chiefly as

(1) angry, aggressive outbursts (2) a sense of entitlement/egocentrism (3) blame-shifting

and she displays these traits to varying degrees throughout the show.

Now add to these the standard “Reddington Effect” that gets pointed out by other characters, articulating what Liz has been feeling since day one:

“There's no one on earth who can make a woman feel like the center of his universe more than Raymond Reddington.” (204)

“I was star-struck. It was exciting and captivating and... it consumed me. My work, my marriage.” (411)

We can also witness this "soft power” in action when Red approaches Zoe, Berlin’s daughter, to use her against her father. We can see how easily he can charm and pull people in to get what he wants. Sometimes it hilariously backfires - as it should - but that’s beside the point rn. The point is, Liz seems to receive this standard treatment, too, and she’s immediately, intensely receptive to it.

We can see both the positive (fascination-attraction) and the negative (rejection-aggression) side of this chemistry early on. She gets exposed to Red’s regular charm routine but it’s ultimately a v different experience because what those women quoted above don’t know (and what Liz still doubts) is that with her, his feelings run very, very deep. She is both the means and the end, the journey and the destination. Neither can walk this road without the other but walk it they must.

II. Liz’s traits are amplified by Red’s behavior and Red’s behavior is warped by Tom’s presence.

Thank God I have Tom, because with you, I never know what to believe. I have never lied to you. How the hell would I know?

Red’s secretive, seductive, guilt-ridden behavior feeds Liz’s narcissistic impulses.

(1) His ingrained "I will never tell you everything” ground rule regularly forms a volatile mix with her proneness to irritability and anger. There are countless examples of this (often understandable) reaction with a wide range that goes from a raised voice to actual physical aggression.

(2) It also clashes with her belief that she's automatically entitled to be told everything, regardless of the possibility that knowing might not make much difference to her but could get others killed, or the fact that she’s often careless w/ sensitive info and sometimes straight-up ignores the answer anyway.

This is an irresponsible and wasteful way of going about getting answers. Wanting to know doesn't entitle anyone to know. It's not at all surprising that Red - whose very life depends on carefully calculated discretion - is rarely fully forthcoming. Still, this is a major source of friction, esp as it seems to run counter to him telling her how special she is and treating her as such with a consistency that most well-adjusted people would fall for. A narcissistic personality like hers stands even less chance. This triggers jealousy and possessiveness very early on, and later engenders a full-blown expectation that when push comes to shove, he would always put her needs above anybody else’s, including his own. This (partially conditioned) expectation is in play e.g. when Tom re-enters her life and also when he violently leaves it again.

(3) Red is also burdened with a lot of chronic guilt which makes him an easy target for blame-shifting by those select few he loves. He often allows Liz to push blame on him for things he is not responsible for and he suffers in silence because “in his heart, he knows he must pay”. This also enables her to delude herself into thinking that he's indeed the unified source of all her problems, which makes her receptive to Mr. Kaplan’s terrible Solution to Nothing that targets him as such. Red has branded himself a “sin eater” and this gets taken full advantage of in a way that veers into emotional abuse. It paves the way for Operation Possum and its fallout that ripples across the next two seasons.

These 3 major negative “lock and key” interactions combine and reach a very unhealthy peak in S3/B. Liz’s thoughtless, pointless fake death stunt pushes Red to an edge he barely manages to pull himself back from, and it throws a wrench in the delicate cogwheels of their relationship where the degree of functionality and “healthiness” has always hinged on proportionate reciprocity (of good and bad alike). The faked death plan is - among other things - so disproportionately cruel and so exceptionally dumb and pointless, it unhinges this interplay.

It shakes Red from his grief- and guilt-induced stupor and cracks his habit of putting Liz on a pedestal. In S4 it is now Dembe who gets to be referred to as the "light in the darkness", which, given the changed circumstances, is a much better arrangement for both Liz and Red. Red would never ask anyone to carry this burden but the truth is, he needs someone like that by his side to keep him from falling to pieces. Dembe is a centered, reliable, well-adjusted person who can carry this heavy weight. Liz can't and she shouldn't, either. Now Dembe needs to be the lighthouse keeper as they navigate their stormy relationship.

On top of pulling Liz from the pedestal, Red also begins to scale back his willingness to play buffer and absorb blame. He pushes back against the kind of behavior he partially conditioned and enabled. He refuses to give in to Mr. Kaplan’s absurd and reckless vendetta that still targets him as the “root of all evil” in Liz’s life. He refuses to keep serving as a scapegoat for Tom’s failings and Liz’s self-imposed blindness, but the most significant “slight” contributing to the big fracture in his relationship with her is his refusal to share the secret of the bag.

“That’s why you’re here. That’s… Not to help me, not to avenge Tom’s death, but to help yourself and get your precious secret back.”

It is less about the secret itself and more about Red prioritizing it above her. She is jealous again but this time it is not directed at a person but at his “precious secret” that ultimately separates him from her, and once again it masquerades as projected and misplaced anger stemming from her deeper desire for their relationship to be close and genuine.

We have been here before when the Fulcrum surfaced:

"That's why you came into my life then. And that's why you're here now. Not because of me or who I am to you, whatever connection we might have, but because of some... object. Some thing."

and after her name gets cleared in S3/B:

I thought maybe after all we've been through the past three months that you might want to take a break. It's a mythic battle, and it's not anywhere close to being over. It's your battle, not mine.

and then again with the bag of bones. “Not me but” is the underlying issue that gets to her in each of these instances and it always manifests as anger.

From her warped perspective (warped by pain, confusion, and narcissism) he is deeply hurting her and taking everything from her to keep himself safe and cozy. It is the complete betrayal of her (partially conditioned but still unreasonable) expectation that he’d always put her and her needs first. In her eyes, this is again proof that their relationship, just like the one with Tom, has been a mere tool, a manufactured illusion, which - coupled with the impostor reveal - must truly mean Red never really cared for her at all.

But her assessment is once again dead wrong because she refuses to take a careful look at all the available information in proper context - a broader context where her personal issues are not the only ones of importance and where Red not bending to her every wish, esp those that make him deeply miserable or an instant murder victim, is not a sign of lack of genuine feelings but of a healthier attitude. She is also projecting anger at her own dishonesty with herself on him, and while it worked back when Red was receptive to it bc it was conducive to his self-flagellation, this messed up coping mechanism is finally breaking down, too, due to his increasing resistance and the multiplying events that signal he was never that alleged single source of evil.

"We want the same thing."

Indeed. It's the need underpinning Liz's anger, the same one Red has already articulated, albeit indirectly: "an inextricable intimacy and a commitment." Liz uses anger to express this, Red uses fish stories and Tom.

We were both half right. Together, we were right.

Liz sees Red's commitment forever lying elsewhere: with his precious secrets. Red sees Liz's commitment tied up in her relationship with Tom even after his betrayal, even after his literal death. They’ve been longing for the other to break away and commit, but this longing still manifests indirectly and out of sync: she pulls Tom between them like a guardrail (and DG, too), so Red flees into his “work” as a defensive response, which she interprets as lack of genuine interest and withdraws further into safe denial, and we have a vicious cycle on our hands. Despite all that, she still wants him to give up his secrets and he still wants her to give up her fixation on Tom. It’s no accident Red is so captivated by her when she describes her fantasy to him. It’s v much his, too.

But they both feel betrayed right now and both cling to their respective security blankets: Red to his secrets, Liz to her anger.

III. The current name of the game for Liz is repression and denial, for Red, it’s obsession and rumination.

Liz's remark about Red during her therapy session is telling and relevant here:

"Some of what he's done is unimaginably bad. But some of what he's done for me is unimaginably good."

She has been privy to many good things Red has done for others (hell, an entire county once) but those are not factored in when she evaluates his "goodness". No, this is about her and again, it produces only a partial image. It is a good start to say to an outsider that they don’t have the full picture of who he is (or can be) and therefore their understanding is skewed. However, the same goes for Liz and she refuses to accept that her POV is limited, too, and that she is complicit in it being so. DG is a prime example: she is handed a DNA test and everything that contradicts the result is pushed aside at once. The same happened when Tom told her he was a changed man: she ignored the contradictions, so she could have the illusion of stability. Red withholds information but it’s Liz who blatantly lies to herself about many things.

But back to the quote above: so only what Red does for her is weighed on the scale of goodness. Only that defines his moral character. It is decidedly untrue but again it's a manifestation of possessiveness and something Red partially conditioned in her in moments where e.g. he says saving her helps him live w/ himself (104) or where he implies that being with her allows him to become less of a monster (209). As a result, he is reduced to something less but something confined to her, something conveniently simplified that - depending on her need - is easier to either embrace or scapegoat. When he goes along with what she wants (whether it is actually good or not), he is a welcome, positive presence. When he refuses her (no matter how justified or necessary it is), he is deemed toxic and gets rejected. But after Tom inserts himself back into their lives and after the fake death betrayal, Red seems to have less and less willingness to silently confine himself to her whims and wishes, and they finally reach a breaking point in S5.

Fans on both sides of the "why does Red care so much about Liz" fence focus heavily on love as his primary drive, and label the nature of the R/L relationship accordingly: parental and romantic respectively. What else could explain such grandiose display of unconditional love other than being related or being in love? To quote Red, "perhaps there's a third option." There is and despite it being on full display (or maybe because of it since the show has conditioned us to assume a convoluted mystery everywhere) we often overlook its importance:

With Red, guilt is the operative word. This is the governing emotion right next to love (a more recent development) to which many of his grand gestures are anchored. The pervasiveness of guilt in Red's life is pointed out several times in the show, most notably in episodes 104, 216, and 319:

“The farmer, who is no longer a farmer sees the wreckage he's left in his wake. It is now he who burns. It is he who slaughters. And he knows, in his heart he must pay.”

“The truth of it is, once you start down this road there's no logical place to stop. For the first few years, it may work. You'll draw some measure of virtue from being her invisible benefactor. But that won't last. It's all a fraud. That it's really not about her at all. That it's all about you. And you're just going through the motions to salve your own guilt. All the money, all the time and effort, all the favors in the world cannot possibly equal what you took away from her. Everything else is just a nice gesture.”

“It was a Hobson's choice. There was a woman and her child. Both were doomed. Both would die. I could either save one or lose both. I chose the child. It was the worst thing I've ever had to do in my life. Worst thing by far. I was arrogant. I presumed that there was an order to things, that there was... that if I nourished and protected and taught the child, she would be safe and happy. And she was neither. No matter what I tried to do, all I brought her was misery and violence.”

In each, the debilitating nature of guilt is given emphasis, the symptoms of which are exhibited by Red throughout the show. Chronic guilt can be an extremely powerful drive. As Red notes, "once you start down this road there's no logical place to stop". He genuinely believes he owes Liz an immeasurable debt and that nothing, not even wrecking or even giving his own life for her, could make up for it. If we look at his behavior from this perspective, the primary answer to why he is willing to go to such great lengths for her becomes obvious. He loves her, too, of course, but love is - as noted above - is a more recent, healthy development, and it still has to co-exist with deep-seated guilt that keeps it in a toxic choke hold. This combination is the main reason why he cannot deny Liz anything (see: Tom) and why he's so vulnerable to blame shifting. When someone believes they deserve to be used and punished by the one they also come to love more than anything, the danger of abuse skyrockets, too.

Guilt-driven gestures, no matter how grandiose, are ultimately selfish and fake, as Red observes. But after he finally meets her, love starts creeping into the picture, shifting their dynamic and imbuing it with something real and selfless. And Red starts pushing back a little now where Tom is concerned. This sprouting, deepening love, however, gets badly trampled on when the guilt-trips and betrayals come. Red endures them because guilt says "you deserve it", but it no longer has quite the same hold as it once did. Heartbreak is a somewhat sobering experience but until the still unknown source of his guilt is uncovered and addressed, his relationship with Liz, his love for her, cannot reach genuine fulfillment.

IV. Sprinters are bad at running marathons.

Red and Liz want the same thing (as we have established above) but she is impulsive and wants it now whereas he is wary and plans long-term.

“I can’t tell you what I’m gonna want 10 years from now. Even a year from now. I just know what I want right now.”

Liz is no fan of delayed gratification. She has wants and she wants those satisfied "right now" even if it means she has to trade a more secure, more enduring yet still unavailable future (Red) for a readily available present of poorer quality (Tom). The former requires hard work (of the sweat, blood, and tears kind), honest self-evaluation, careful planning, and lots of patience. The latter is just easy and right there, so she cuts straight to the finish line, then it all promptly comes crashing down on her.

This is what happens after her exoneration in S3B. She goes to Red but instead of some quality personal time, he acts prickly and distant, then whips out a giant map to show her how just much hard work still needs to be done before Odysseus can even consider returning home. Her response? She rejects it (and him with it) and goes straight back to Tom. He promises to give her everything she wants right there and then at a discount. She only has to bury her head in the sand regarding a couple of things and since Liz is prone to self-delusion and denial by default, she jumps at the opportunity. This is where her relationship with Red begins to go off the rails.

“Circumstances are far more complex than we ever imagined. I’m betting on the long play. The future.”

Red plays the long game when it comes to the most important things in his life, and he doesn’t shy away from torturous self-examination and self-denial to secure enduring results and a better future for those he loves. Liz’s relationship with Tom was a sprint with many corner-cutting and the inevitable letdown. They had a short present, but no future. With Red, there is a future still but Liz has to run a marathon to reach it and being a sprinter, she struggles a lot.

But she is not the only one struggling. Red is still traumatized by the loss of his family, which makes him instinctively reluctant to try to settle down again. Those who inflicted that debilitating loss still represent an active force in the world (see: the map). The longing to settle down is certainly there. It’s a dream he shares with Liz. They practically wish upon it under the stars while “Our House” is playing, but on top of his guilt and grief, the circumstances seem to be forever against him, so he doesn’t dare actively push for it like she does (he even rejects Agnes at first). He redirects his focus to the “job” to try and create a safer environment and maybe a future opportunity. This folds back to the marathon approach that Liz rejects at first but now, after Tom's demise, she must face. She vows to destroy Red but I don't think it will be a literal destruction. Deep down they still want the same thing and even though they have yet to admit it openly, they want it with each other.

Their time spent on the run in S3/A is immersed in the theme of a shared home. Liz and Red seek refuge in a theater where the stage is set as a home. This is where Liz tells Red about her fantasy and this is where Red immediately retreats behind a wall when he realizes that Liz will be pulled back into Tom's orbit.

“I’m not interested in what you want. I’m interested in what you deeply desire. I can sense that death and vengeance aren’t what drive you, Elizabeth. Or feed your soul. [What does?] A lost world, I suspect. Another life. If you can’t face your truths, I can’t be of service.”

The Djinn makes a clear distinction between “what you want” and “what you deeply desire”. It is echoed in the tension-filled dream Liz has where Red removes Tom from the picture just when he is about to spill a secret (nice piece of foreshadowing btw), then stalks up to her bed and asks her the same thing - not just what she wants but what she really wants. This image of Red stepping up as a sexual-romantic partner after her husband’s demise is shoved deep down in her subconscious. It is one she is not yet ready to face, but it is there - the option of making a home with him, an option he, too, keeps at arm’s length due to past trauma and present circumstances, and it adds even more tension to their interplay.

This exact type of unresolved tension has already popped up on this show when Madeline Pratt re-entered Red's life w/ some grievances.

"Florence was everything, our way out, a fresh start. But to you, it’s all just a job."

She feels betrayed and played for a fool because Red chose to continue living his danger-magnet criminal life, prioritizing it over her and their intended home.

"They used Pratt as bait, faked the kidnapping in order to bring Red into the Kings’ custody."

Later on, counting on his savior complex, she lands him in hot water to get even. She stages her own kidnapping and lures Red into a trap set by an enemy with a score to settle. If it sounds familiar, that’s because we see something similar play out between Liz and Red. It’s low-key in the background during S3-4 (w/ the whole home theme) and gets kicked into high-gear in the S5 finale (when Liz thinks he played her for a fool so he can continue living his criminal life):

We were out. You said the ship we were on was headed to Spain. Change of plans. Because? Because after far too much time playing defense, today’s the day we switch to offense.

They could get away and start a new life but Red refuses to quit his "mission". As mentioned above, he tells Liz they still have a lot to do and her reaction is disappointment, and when Tom offers her everything Red is not yet able (to go away and start fresh), she accepts. And this is when their downward spiral begins in earnest and all the accumulated hurt peaks in S5, in Liz's very Madeline-esque plan to fake a kidnapping and lure Red to one of his enemies for some answers and score-settling (the same business the Kings were into w/ their illicit auctions):

If you’re gonna tell him you hurt me, he’s got to believe you. You knew Reddington would come for you. He got to do what he always does: try and save me.

Indeed. And he is about to confess his greatest secret to save her life when they get interrupted and an alternate solution presents itself. He kills Sutton, takes the bag and leaves. Liz vows to destroy him after this and I think she is right. Raymond Reddington needs to die for good this time. He needs to die so the man behind that mask can finally emerge. He needs to die so Liz can finally face and understand the full picture.

Red’s guilt feeds on the secrets he keeps and Liz continues to cling to her anger because these secrets are a wedge between them. The murky past and their distorted perception of it (Red's warped by guilt, Liz's scrambled by memory manipulation) hold them and their relationship hostage, so it must be disclosed and sorted for both their sakes. The second chance will not come until this happens. When it does, I think it will be the most cathartic moment in the history of this show.

This collision course is their way back home.

[artcanary]

1-50

oh my god dude 

im gonna put this under a cut bc this is a lot. this is a ride, have fun i guess

1. Your first OC ever?god. its got to be Super Kitty. when i was like … an incredibly small child I used to draw comic strips about this feline caped crusader, who was friends with everyone in the city, and the comics always involved him stopping an evil banana man from stealing money from the local bank. He was paid with donuts for his service to the city. i still remember how to draw him. 

2. Do you have a personal favourite among your OCs?i’d get arrested if I didn’t answer this with Bronze, probably… but really, they’re very important to me

3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else?man, i cant remember! i really dont think i have… P:

4. A character you rarely talk about?there’s loads of characters ive never even posted a single picture of on tumblr, i wouldnt even know where to start asdf

5. If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be? bronze is the easy answer, but… i guess that could also go to Servant or Westrin. Servant has a comic project in the works that basically stars him, sort of a series of one-shots about the things he’s experienced, i feel like that would be a good thing to take off and run with. Westrin’s just fun as hell, i love the guy.

6. Two OCs of yours that look alike despite not being related?real talk now… there’s at least five different characters that i refer to as a whole as “bronze-tangential”, who started out as, “what would bronze be like if they were in this world?” and then becoming their own thing within said world because i just get stupid attached 

its an epidemic

7. Are your OCs part of any story or stories?nearly all of them, actually. that’s the main reason i make characters, after all! too many to really go into specifics here, again P: 

8. Do you RP as any of your OCs? If you do, introduce one of your RP OCs here!not often, but i think Bronze and Westrin are the most common ones. unless playing a character in dnd, or running an npc in dnd counts… then a whole lot more hahaha

9. Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else?it depends on the circumstances. i don’t really like the idea, though. 

10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design? Westrin’s old getup is a pain to draw, and there was one other design i did that I cant find anywhere… whichever way, i dont often tend to draw super complicated things often 

a couple fakemon ive designed though… heheh those can get pretty finicky

11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a “sunshine”? hmmmmmmmm my immediate thought was Eric Silverdale from a comic i was working on a few years ago. hes a darling, i want him to be my friend irl

12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lothow could you do this to me i love each and every one of all my friends ocs GOD the first one who comes to mind is @d20-official‘s Smith, whos Bronze’s friend… everyone in that DND party actually

13. Do you have any troublemaker OCs? Rated on a scale from “harmless” to “honestly somewhat frightening”: -Baromet (charming and quite friendly but definitely a kleptomaniac),-Westrin (demigod of bards and travelers), -XEN09 (a nonsense hacker), -Conny (needlessly contrarian and dumb as HELL), -Enza Colie (long fucking story but hes a good-for-nothing), -Hemlocke (mad scientist, chaotic evil), -Iris (AI and hacker, VERY bad), -The Terminus (glitch-in-the-matrix demon, chaotic evil), -and Sydd (the Queen of the Faeries, hopefully the danger there needs no explaining :’D)

14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory Mmm… there’s a few of them, most obviously Lent (whose background I did a short comic about). Basically his entire town got eaten by ghosts and turned into zombies, he only barely survived with a sliver of his soul left. 

15. Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people?yes, i often discuss storylines and such with friends

16. Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)? Probably Bronze’s dad! I don’t talk about him much, but his name’s Devon Reed, and he was a biotech developer specialising in android design. 

I often describe him as being something of a reverse Arthur Weasley - a very fatherly scientist fascinated to the moon and back with the concept of magic. 

17. Any OC OTPs? having trouble thinking of a lot of them right now, but there’s Eric + Lent & Naiadine + Tailias from Emerald Sigil, Avken + Baromet from my space campaign world, Sydd + Wyvv from my unnamed campaign world, and I’ve been considering Westrin + Servant as an interesting dynamic in Servant’s story

18. Any OC crackships? My character Bismuth and @autistictimeknight​‘s oc Eros. Theyre so fucking in love, I love it. Its been awhile but I do still think about them sometimes.

As I recall, Eros is an empath, she can read other people’s emotions. But Bismuth is a robot, and Eros can’t read her. Because of this Eros can let go of her fear of unintentionally manipulating the emotions of her date, which would hold her back from most other relationships. 

19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)Hey, meet Bronze! I definitely do not talk about them every five minutes, why would you say that. 

Bronze was with me through two of the hardest years of my life so far, and being a DND character they grew with me, both as a fighter and as a person. They were non-binary before I started using those pronouns, they were the first character or person or anything who I fought someone about using the right pronouns for, they make a great icebreaker for if I want to see how someone reacts to non-binary pronouns … 

One funny anecdote about Bronze is that when I first made them, their “gimmick” was that they would sometimes glitch out and mess up their speech, mostly because I wanted an excuse not to engage in the roleplaying (which I was very bad at). The interesting thing is that as I got better at interacting with the group, we both grew out of needing it very quickly. 

I’m very proud of Bronze. 

20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?Westrin is a bard! His singing voice sounds like Bill Wurtz and these are his theme songs.

21. Your most artistic OCProbably Westrin again, he writes a lot of songs… and Hallux is a game designer?

22. Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how? I honestly dont know… no-one talks to me about them, haha! 

people use all manner of pronouns for bronze, though. 

23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?I’m gonna go with Enza for this one. Enza Colie was originally written entirely because I wanted an antagonist for a short starring his sister, Jane Colie. But the more I fleshed out his reasonings for acting how he did and explored his character, the more I realised he’d make an even more interesting character if allowed to have a redemption arc, too. 

I just want to state for the record that I was very reluctant to the idea, and he basically dragged his way out of the villain pit entirely of his own accord. I am dubiously proud of him, and also a bit scared. 

24. If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why?Probably either Eric (Big Man, Best Friend), Crocus (Mother figure), Reed (Father Figure), Westrin (hed just make a good friend u kno??), or Bismuth (she makes good conversation!)

25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?)probably the homestuck fan-troll Hallux, but that’s mostly because they were based on a troll-sona I made awhile ago. They’re a hope/prospit game designer who is small and full of rage and love

oh, and there’s dave! dave’s a superhero speedster, existing in a modern-day superhero version of seattle. theyre idiot, just like me,

26. Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about them against your will? this is an interesting one… i don’t think ive ever had something Bad in a design ive done called to my attention by someone, but I did create my character Servant at around the same time I was first really expanding the diversity of my casts. (since i don’t talk about him often, a little context: he’s a magic spirit creature bound to human form to serve the royal family of the land and follow their orders.) 

somehow, younger-and-more-stupid me managed to have the revelation that making this “eternal slave” character literally anything other than a white man, especially as a white author, would be Pretty Not Good. im … thats really, really not something i should pat myself on the back for, but i do consider it one of the biggest bullets dodged in my artistic career so far that i realised that not all representation is good representation so quickly, before i could make that incredibly, incurably stupid mistake. 

after that, trying to make sure my characters and their presentations don’t harm anyone pretty much has become a paranoia. i don’t seem to have stepped on any toes yet, but when it inevitably happens, please let me know - i didnt know, and i want to fix it! 

27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song? None that I can think of, actually! I don’t really do that often. 

28. Your most dangerous OC? god damn it i have no idea!!! is it the terminus? glitch in the matrix god of chaos motherfucker?is it sarle? terrifying calculating scientist with the power of the soul at her fingertips ??? is it ares??? is it athena????? is it petra?????? the gatekeeper???? 

… actually, the gatekeeper might be it, if “dangerous” just refers to “the amount of raw power it can wield”. the Gatekeeper is a titanic entity that exists in interdimensional multiverse space, and its implied to have the ability to create and destroy entire universe bubbles at will. for what cosmic purpose, no-one knows. 

at a more personal scale, though, literally all of the aforementioned characters are pretty bad to run into too. 

29. Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going?god. Mina or Tawn. Tawn is the Indiana Jonesy type and probably dumb enough, but also competent enough not to get into too much trouble there. Mina would probably drag her friends along. 

30. Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection? XEN09. No-one knows, because no-one knows xir personal identity. Xe absolutely does, though. It’s less of a secret if you know xir in person, but good luck finding out about it otherwise. 

31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really)dave just reblogs memes all the time tbh. they like to keep tabs on the ridiculous superhero news going on, and they show human jokes and cat videos to their alien gf. they dont really post or add to posts, but they talk in tags a lot. 

32. Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonist and why? i want to say tawn because i literally just realised ive been imagining their voice as sounding like luigi this entire fucking time and i never realised until this exact instant

33. Your shyest OC?probably baromet. they prefer to keep to themself in their hideout, with their collection of shiny things. they don’t really enjoy trying to communicate much, mostly because they expect to get yelled at. 

34. Do you have any twin characters?Yes! At least two sets; 

- Crocus and Sarle. (x) (x) They don’t exactly have a very well-developed relationship, but they are both quite important to the plot of my campaign world, and they are both very interesting. Crocus is a motherly figure who just exudes friendliness, while Sarle is .. very much not that, a researcher studying very gruesome things and pushing the boundaries of reality. 

- Jane and Enza Colie. I haven’t talked a whole lot about either of them here, but I’d rather leave their story to do the talking whenever I get around to it. Essentially, the both of them were intended to do the dirty work for their crime boss family, but Jane ditched to study medicine. Most of the conflict between the two of them comes out of Enza not understanding why she made the choice she did, and coming to understand how he’s been manipulated. 

35. Any sibling characters? I can’t really think of any off the top of my head, I should … I should really work on that. 

I can talk about Westrin, though. Westrin (a demigod of many things, but namely bards, travel, travelers, and people who are lost) often becomes close friends with mortals, sometimes practically adopting them. These people who consider him family, and people who have received his blessing, are able to use his surname, Brilanta, as their own if they choose. So I guess all of the Brilantas are siblings, at least in spirit. 

Oh, and XEN09 has like, seven siblings. Xe is the second-oldest, and least remarkable. 

36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else (siblings, lovers, friends etc)? I already talked about Eros and Bismuth up there a ways in question 18, but I’ll talk about another relationship here. @autistictimeknight​‘s character, Nova the Alchemist, is mentor and adopted parental figure to my character Munna. Munna … Munna isn’t a very good apprentice. She tries very hard. 

37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human That’s most of them, I’m not quite sure what to say here. Bronze is an android? Bronze again? Westrin? All the aliens ?? 

38. Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer? man. uh. westrin or jean. or perhaps valencia. 

39. Introduce any character you want ??? uhhhHHHhhHHH Lord Brillium is the reigning deity of the Cloud Kingdoms in the other campaign setting I’m working on. They represent light and the quest for knowledge, and spend most of their days in the Cathedral Observatory watching the stars. 

40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!one time bronze flew a hover-bike through the stained glass window in a cathedral blaring all star by smash mouth on their iguana

also one time bronze rickrolled a rakshasa demon and then pulled updog on it like, two minutes later

another time bronze scared off an entire army by pretending to be an automated security system 

41. Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!)ive got a whole little folder on here from all you blessed people !!!! right now ive got a drawing quinn did of one o fmy characters as my lockscreen

but i think the one i’ll really never ever get over is this piece of Jane, by @rabendraws​ / @owoltron​: 

(i bet you thought i forgot about this, dude. dude. think again.) 

42. Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods? this is kind of a weird question, m, I feel like Bismuth would find learning about the mythos utterly fascinating, as would Tawn. 

43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confesshaha. uh. i might. 

aside from the entire “bronze-tangential characters” thing i mentioned awhile back, I tend to really like designing characters with hair color lighter than their skin color. it just looks so cool man. i love drawing freckles but dont put them on enough characters. i like really curly hair, but also really long and flowy hair. i like drawing triangular body types, and pointy/prominent noses. 

44. Something you like about your OCs in generaluhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh this is a really vague question. m. m. 

45. A character you no longer use?there’s old versions of characters, but a lot of my older ones have been somehow repurposed. I guess there’s Turien, my first-ever DND character, who’s just kind of sitting dead now. Haven’t really done anything with him other than a pretty recent tangential character. 

46. Has anyone ever told you that you treat your OCs badly?Not that I can think of.

47. Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child? Im certain it’s happened, but I can’t remember any specific instances. 

48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pureSpring. spring knows nothing of th dangers of the world who is letting them into fights someon eneeds to stop this

(spring roll, hehe.) 

49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memesim not sure what this question is asking since many of my ocs actively enjoy memes including but not limited to westrin, dave, bronze, xen09, iris, and doctor archersen

50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you wanti think. i think im going to pass on this one. i gave you the good old oc talk. your damn turn, yall: 

if you have any questions about any of these guys feel free to shoot one at me!

thats all from me im tired and its one am. techskylander you absolute madman