#i might even end up writing something about this because ive done a good bit of research on this topic

[burst-of-iridescent]

so sorry you've been getting these anons ana :( i thought as a native i could give my two cents on the fire lady katara trope? ill admit im more of a casual zutara shipper, so i havent seen a good chunk of the fandom, but ill give it my thoughts. for me personally, i am not a fan of fire lady katara- it's not particularly to do with the trope itself, but the execution often done by the fandom. ive discussed this with other natives before, but sometimes in the fire lady trope, it is often that katara moves to the fire nation, that she wears fire nation clothes and is surrounded by fire nation culture. obviously, that isn't wrong! the sharing of culture is a beautiful thing, but there is a good majority of fics where it feels like her water tribe culture is forgotten, that she is made to move permanently to the fire nation in favour of zuko. specifically in a post war climate, where a good majority of the people in the fire nation would still hold onto imperialist and racist beliefs, the idea of katara living there permanently is uncomfortable. i moved out of my mostly native village into a nearly fully white uni, and it's scary, and so when i apply those thoughts to katara living in the fire nation, its uncomfortable. and as for the rest, it's mainly just how sometimes it feels like the fandom doesn't value her culture as much as zukos, even unconsciously- it often feels like the fandom values the perceived glamour and power of the fire nation royalty, and finds fire nation culture more understandable than anything water tribe, and so prefer to have katara in a setting that is more 'easy' for them. in hand with this, is often the fandom perception that the water tribe is less progressive than the fire nation, that they are sexist and that zuko is giving katara a better life (i will say that this is not something i have not seen often, especially recently, but it is something i have discussed w people so i thought id mention it, especially since its usually not intentional). sorry this got so long, i went on a bit of a ramble but obviously this isn't the be all end all. like you said, there are lots of people who are fine, or enjoy fire lady katara because they perceive or write it differently, and that is fine! everyone perceives media differently, just like some people will be uncomfortable with zutara, some might not be. i just thought id send this as a reason why some of us do dislike the trope, and things to keep in mind when ppl are writing it

hi anon, thank you so much for sharing this with me! i really appreciate you taking the time to write out your thoughts and offer your perspective on this.

i definitely agree that the fire lady katara trope can be executed in some exceedingly problematic ways. there are many zutara fics that i've clicked out of for the reasons that you've mentioned, especially older ones that were written around when the show aired or shortly after. i won't deny at all that there are ways people write the zutara relationship that make me profoundly uncomfortable. my problem arises when someone assumes that the trope itself is inherently racist or wrong, instead of understanding that it can be written in a variety of ways by a variety of people, who bring their own perspectives - and prejudices - to their individual portrayals.

what you said about moving from your mostly native village to a fully white university really struck a chord with me because (although it's not the same, and can never be) i can really sympathize with those feelings of alienation and sudden lack of belonging. i'm part of the desi diaspora myself, and i've grown up in a country where i've always been the minority, and had to deal with racism and ignorance, so your experience really spoke to me. i hope that doesn't come across like i'm trying to co-opt your struggle or anything like that, because that was not my intention at all. i just wanted to let you know that i can understand what a scary feeling it is, even if not exactly in the same way.

that being said, personally if i could choose between spending my life in india or growing up overseas, i would still choose to do the latter even if it meant living through the bigotry and ostracization i've experienced again. i love the life i've built here, though it's a more difficult one than what i could've led back home.

in the context of atla, i agree that katara would most likely face racism and discrimination in the fire nation, at least in the immediate years following the war. but personally i also find a very empowering narrative in seeing her confront and dismantle the prejudices within the fire nation system, just as she did with the sexism of the northern water tribe. katara wouldn't abide bigotry in any form, and i think fighting inequality is a battle that she would want to take on, and would willingly choose to take on whether she ended up with zuko or not. that's why i take issue with the insistence that her becoming queen of the fire nation inherently equates to her victimization, because it can also very much be a power fantasy, and i know many woc who do see it as such.

(of course, that is just my own perspective, and i completely understand why others see it differently and might not be comfortable with it. their feelings are just as valid and legitimate.)

ultimately, i think correctly executing the fire lady katara trope isn't just about katara herself valuing her culture, but zuko doing it as well. i love seeing explorations of the trope (and the zutara relationship in general) where zuko takes an active interest in katara's heritage, incorporates her traditions and practices into his own life and home, and involves himself in her culture just as much as she involves herself in his. zutara is a ship that has always been about equality to me, and that's something that can and should carry over to how they blend their cultures together. like you said, there is nothing wrong in katara wearing fire nation clothes, or being surrounded by fire nation culture - so long as she isn't the only one in the relationship taking an interest in her partner's heritage. thankfully, in most zutara content i've seen, she isn't.

in my own personal view of katara becoming fire lady, it happens only years after the war ends. she spends her time postwar travelling the world and kicking ass, empowering women in the north to learn waterbending, rebuilding the southern water tribe, meeting and learning from everyone she can. when she becomes fire lady, she continues to travel often - home, of course, but also to the other nations when necessary, using her skill of inspiring and motivating others, and her desire to help the less fortunate, in matters of international diplomacy. when she returns, her husband is in blue, and her children wear whalebone beads in their hair, and there are fire flakes next to stewed sea prunes on her dining table. there are hard times, but there is also love and respect, and so she changes the world as she damn well deserved to in canon.

[emoangel44]

HI RAXZ IT TOOK LONGER THAN EXPECTED AS IT'S BEEN A WEEK BUT!!! DURING ALL THAT I DIDN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT YOUR FIC/S It's just one of those pieces of fanwork that leaves so much of an impression on someone, that it just ends up sticking and changing what you initially thought of a character, because of how well done the things most would just move aside or chalk up for simple reasons. you seem to be the only person who really does get Chara like no other, and I hope it's not strange to say you write them almost as if you know them or you are them that I'm sorta afraid nothing else will live up to how you written them and asriel in ur fan fic LOL but no matter... i will prevail. I love how you were able to portray charas self hate and self harm, i love how you didn't hold back on the ugly side of it and how far and disturbing it can be especially for someone as young as chara. There's just something so realistic about it that don't see alot anywhere else. 

I also like how you made asriel be childish, childish in a way a kid can be bratty or selfish(?) in the first half, that might not be a good descriptor but my puter is lagging from the many many words I've written for this ask so I'm making do </3 the point is you really know how to write these kids. Also enjoy that the tone of each fic is starkly different from one another, asriels pov feels grounded in comparison to charas inner thoughts

HOPEFULLY this all makes a little sort of sense, I've read both of ur fics three times so I'm praying it does, amen. ANYWAYS……. Love ur brain, would love to hear any thoughts you have on utdr in general if you ever decide to share em…. godbless. perhaps i couldve worded this better in a diffrent time but oh well, we ball. i hope u have a great day emoangel44🫡 will be looking forward for ur new utdr stuff

FIORE!!! i have been waiting for this day.. thank you so much. ive had several people say that i really get chara including like, literal veteran chara fans. its very nice to hear, theyre pretty important to me as a character. which is rather funny because the only analysis ive ever actually written on them that wasnt fanfiction was an essay on how i think theyre kind of actually a little poorly written LOL. to understand someone you have to know their weakpoints i guess... even if on a meta level.

for my asriel interpretation i try to incorporate a lot of "flowey-isms" as i say. the way i see asriel is that he was always a bit of a bratty, selfish kid that struggled with low empathy. he chooses to do what he thinks is right because he knows its right and not because it provides him with positive feelings himself... i think thats even more admirable. as opposed to this is think chara is high empathy which is part of the reason they did what they did. asriel is just way more of a people person than chara and so comes off as more understanding, charas just naturally a bit off-putting no matter how hard they try not to be.

chara and asriel are quite different people so i tried to make that clear in how i write their perspectives. chara is kind of stuck in their own head and lives in a world with walls of misery and think prose. theyre very direct but also very metaphorical. its a weird combination but it gets easier to write when taking in account their canon dialogues (one day youll get a fic from me with a more light hearted tone where chara will get to make their dog puns and nerd jokes. maybe). this is also the reason i write them with a strange mix of first and second person. it just feels natural for our narrator.

asriel on the other hand is much much more of an emotional person and is much less formal in how he thinks. he has a lot more filler words and "i-think"s and "i-feel"s and such.

i figure ill write a bit on what inspired each fic.

for my chara fic, i actually started writing it while bored in class. it was inspired a narration line in one of the fights in undertale, the one i used for the summary. the main thing i wanted to play with was metaphors and metaphors upon metaphors. mainly related to charas self hatred though the lense of soil and dirt and flowers and gardens because of course.

for my asriel fic, the main thing i wanted to play with was, quite obviously, writing from asriels perspective. i had already written 2 fics from charas perpective (the 1st one isnt as good as the other two and was mostly written as a characterization and perspective test) so i figured it was time to give him a turn, especially since it we only realy got a peak and asriels personality through charas eyes and i wanted to show it off more. the other thing that the fic ended up centering on is something my friend said to me about how they felt my chara characterization was screaming to be understood under all the hurt. basically the thesis of this fic is "asriel did not fully get chara but he was also the closest anyone ever got by a long shot which counts for something".

if youd like to see my other undertale stuff, here is some poetry ive written about chara (and asriel), here is my art tag which is full of stuff with them (alternatively, just use my undertale tag if you dont want art of anything else), here are my chara and asriel playlists that i always listen to while writing, and here is that chara essay i mentioned.

speaking of my thoughts on utdr... i actually dont post the majority of them. but id absolutely love to talk about them. so if you (or anyone else) have any questions about my thoughts on utdr or want to start a discussion about it Please do. Im actually begging you. i need more engagement guys send me asks. thank you for reading this absurdly long response

[slasher-male-wife]

hi, ive been stalking ur blog recently since there is a painful lack of male readers when it comes to thomas hewitt/bubba sawyer so i am here and requesting :3

maybe some headcanons about a malewife s/o for thomas and bubba,, like he cooks with whoever is tasked with dinner n cleans and does laundry, the whole nine yards, even helping clean up messes after thomas/bubba is done with victims (maybe even helping when some victims escape)

thank you if you do end up writing this!! have a great day/night!! :D

Really about to put the malewife in my name to good use. I might write a fic based on this idea later but for now here's some head cannons.

Thomas Hewitt and Bubba Sawyer with a male wife

Warnings: Mentions of homophobia, murder and cannibalism

Thomas Hewitt

Hoyt and Monty are going to be huge assholes about you being a male wife. Constantly telling you “real men don’t do this” “real men don’t do that” whatever. They might call you a fairy or something like that but that’s as far as they go because they know who’s side Thomas is on.

Luda Mae is happy to have another helping hand with chores. They get done twice as fast and she gets down time too. It’s also nice to have a younger, stronger person helping out too.

She’ll make you some clothes if you don’t know how to make your own and will use “the good fabric” because she likes you a lot.

Thomas is head over heels for you. A handsome man who also cooks, cleans, helps around the house and loves him? He’s all for it. He’s hesitant to have you help clean up the basement but when he sees you cleaning up the carnage from someone getting bashed in the head in the living room he’s less worried.

If you’re good with getting blood stains out of clothes you’re in charge of laundry from now on. Once a week you’ll go into the basement to help clean up the mess.

There’s a learning curve when learning to cook human meat but you’ll pick it up soon enough don’t worry Y/n.

If you actually kill someone everyone is a bit surprise. They thought because of how domestic you are that you’d never kill someone. The comments from Hoyt and Monty will stop and they’ll push you to kill more people if you’re good at it.

Bubba Sawyer

Like Hoyt and Monty the twins will constantly comment on how you’re “doing a women’s job” or “being a queer” but Drayton will have them cut it out because finally someone is helping around the house.

Bubba was the one who did the more domestic jobs like cleaning and laundry so finally getting help is really nice. He’s happy to have someone help him clean.

I'm pretty sure you're just gonna have to take over for Bubba because now that you're here Drayton's gonna have Bubba work on other things in the house.

Bubba loves knowing that he's not the only feminine man out there and that he can be a man and enjoy cooking, cleaning and doing household work too.

Will defend you from his brothers if they get too mean to you. Also please defend him. I feel like Bubba gives me "He's my girlfriend!" Energy.

Drayton will love another helping hand with cooking too. He will teach you how to cook the meat properly and probably ask you to make other things like bread.

Bubba's gonna take a bit to get used to seeing you cleaning up blood and guts. I feel like eventually he'll teach you how to cut the meat but until then you're not watching him kill people.

But if/when you do kill someone they're all a bit surprised at that. They'll really see you as a Sawyer now.

[pinkhorsepro123]

So, I just recently watched the 4 episodes of Hazbin Hotel, and MAN IVE GOT SO MUCH TO SAY

Spoilers underneath the read more!

I will be critical of some things, as a writer it's kind of in my blood to be lol.

But I want to first say, it was WELL WORTH THE WAIT. I usually don't like these type of adult shows, yet I still loved watching it, and am having trouble not rewatching it already lol.

I'm going to go over my few criticisms first before I go over the, many positives. (Not all of them, I'll be here writing this all night lol

My main problem is the fact that those who watch it without knowledge of the Pilot will be quite confused. I feel like, they should've either remade it or even put it on there as the first episode.

Also, at first I found the musical bits to be embarrassing, but at the same time they're perfect. If it didn't have them, I don't think it would be Hazbin Hotel.

Katie Killjoy, her voice is not, right- I understand though if that's the only time we'll hear from her. If not though, definitely needs a new one. The only other voice I despise is Val's, it might be because I love how ParanoidDJ does him. It just, doesn't scream the pimp to me. The rest, even if at first I found it meh, as time went on I grew to love them. (Nothing against the voice actors of course! Just doesn't fit the characters)

For EP 4, my only complaint is that there should've been a content warning before it. Even just saying that there's triggering topics ahead would've sufficed. Although those who know Hazbin Hotel knew what Angel was going through, there will be a few that join without knowing that, only to stumble upon a real fucked up situation they weren't prepared for.

On the situation, I didn't know of the leak I've seen people mention, but istg if I see one more saying it was abuse being sexualized-

It was the purest form of abuse, rape, addiction and sex trafficking, uncensored forcefulness. Angel Dust is a bdsm porn actress who is owned by his pimp. Obviously he's going to have shit done to him, and a lot of it is stuff he's high as a kite while doing.

How the fuck is that sexy? It's one, a song about being fed "poison", shows just enough that you know what's happening but doesn't show more, and in the end he's having a meltdown wishing for help. If it had full sex scenes I could understand that line of thinking, but it doesn't. So yeah, I don't understand it.

Ok tangent is done-

That's pretty much all of my complaints, now for the positives!

The 1st episode finally fixed the major plot point in the pilot, being the angels themselves. It wasn't explained why the angels themselves kill sinners, and the whole just why it's considered overcrowded despite not seeming bursting at the seams (especially considering all the dead bodies around-). The story makes a lot more sense too, the background of why Lucifer and Lilith are the way they are.

Adam, is fucking hilarious. Like seriously, if you can make that kind of character funny you're doing something right. Charlie is perfect, they did a really good job at making her not too innocent. Vaggie and Charlie's relationship is amazing, the fact that they're equals and all.

Angel Dust, they did a pretty good job on showing how good his mask is, yet showing the small cracks every episode. Husker's voice, I was unsure about it at first but by the 2nd episode I loved it. Alastor, perfect. The fact he's so powerful yet still wants recognition is great in showing he is human.

The three V's time!

Vox, well disregarding personal hc's for him, he is GREAT. His personality is funny, and makes so much sense, his voice actor is great, his design mwah, what else can I say?

Velvette, I fucking LOVE HER. Her accent, new design, personality, amazing! There was so little content for her I always wondered what was going to happen. Now, I can say with confidence they did her well.

Other than his voice, Val is done really well. His act in front of Charlie is perfect, and the fact that he seems to love pushing others buttons for entertainment (as shown by Vox) makes so much sense. His narcissism and abusive nature is on point.

The Overlord meeting was really cool. The characters, the way they interact, their designs and voices, love them. Alastor just being on the side is hilarious too.

As a multi shipper, I love both RadioDust and HuskerDust(and many more, basically if the ship is healthy and cute I'll probably like it) ... So I can safely say THAT DUET WAS FUCKING AMAZING-

It's so them too, the fact Husker is horrible at comforting others but still manages to, Angel at first being suspicious, only to slowly let down his walls and join in.

Charlie at Angel's place, I never expected honestly. I didn't know how I expected it to happen, but not in the studio-

Their relationship is really pure considering everything, and it's nice to see.

I think that's, about all I have for my critiques and compliments, well as much as I can give before I explode-

There's only a few things I'm gonna be disappointed if they don't talk about in the series, the main thing is how Charlie is trying to "redeem" Angel Dust by getting him off drugs, completely incorrectly-

I hope it'll be talked about- and finally, I hope Vark is going to be a thing still, the little guy was so coot.

Even if he looks completely different I'm just fine with that. He's a shark pet! What more could you want lol

Ok My head hurts I've stared at this screen for much too long.

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk

[charturnus]

Not because she owns me, but 'cause she really knows me

Ship: Wanda Maximoff x Female Reader

a/n: It’s finally out!! 😭 In case you didn’t see, I’m currently nearing the end of my last semester, and I am SWAMPED with work, which is why fic writing had to be put on hold. I have 4 more weeks until I’m done, after which I’ll return to a regular upload schedule. I’m nervous about putting this out, because I want to be true to what it means to have a healthy d/s dynamic, whilst also keeping in mind that this is highly dramatized fiction. I hope you’ll enjoy!

Warnings: d/s dynamic (not explicitly sexual)

Wordcount: 4.8k

Summary: Chapter IV; Did you get enough of love, my little dove? AU

The one where Pepper shows off her puppy, you plan a staged kiss, and you get on your knees for Wanda.

Previous chapter

━━━━━━━━━ ✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯ ━━━━━━━━━

‘’Pepper is coming over today’’ 

She says it casually as she thumbs through a set of documents on the couch next to me. It’s the first time either of us has spoken in an hour, both of us engrossed in our own activities, Wanda busy with her work, and me, fixated by a novel. 

It’s been a month since I moved into the Maximoff residence, and I’ve seen neither hide nor hair from Pepper or anyone from the company for that matter. So, my ears perk up at this news. ‘’Has she decided it’s finally time for me to make my grand entrance?’’ 

Wanda shakes her head, smiling. ‘’It’ll be something along those lines, though I can never quite tell what schemes she’s cooking up.’’ I assumed Pepper was informing Wanda of everything to do with this whole affair. I raise my eyebrows inquisitively. ‘’She hasn’t told you what she’s planning?’’

She snorts loudly. ‘’I’m telling you, even if the CIA got hold of Pepper and let all their torture tactics loose on her, she still wouldn’t budge.’’ I pull a face. ‘’That’s a bit much, don’t you think?’’ Wanda just shrugs, taking off her glasses and setting the papers aside. ‘’You get used to it. But that’s not why I brought this up, I actually wanted to talk to you about something.’’ 

Her serious demeanour takes me somewhat by surprise, and I briefly wonder if I’ve done something to upset her. I set my book aside and turn my full attention onto Wanda. 

‘’Pepper’s going to bring someone with her today, so it’s time for us to have a long-overdue chat.’’ The grave look on her face unsettles me, and I shift restlessly on the sofa, my nails picking at the fuzz on my jumper. ‘’This is very important to me, so I’m going to need you to try to have an open mind, alright? Can you do that for me?’’ 

My brows knit together, but I nod seriously. ‘’Of course, you know you can trust me.’’ I mean it too, knowing that whatever she asked me to do, I’d try my hardest to accomplish. The sight of her reassuring smile works wonders for the tight knot of anxiety building in my stomach. 

‘’Pepper is going to bring her girl over.’’ 

I stare at her blankly, my sluggish mind trying to put the pieces together. ‘’Her girl… friend?’’ I ask uncertainly. Wanda smiles at me. ‘’Yes, Pepper’s girlfriend. But it’s important for you to know that their relationship isn’t exactly what you might be expecting. They-’’ 

My mouth hangs open rather unflatteringly, and I can’t help myself, I have to interrupt her. ‘’I’m sorry, I’m just trying to wrap my head around Pepper having time to have a girlfriend.’’ 

This draws a hearty, earnest laugh from Wanda. ‘’Oh honey, you don’t know half of it.’’

‘’No, I’m serious, I’m telling you, if you’d let her sleep in her office, she would.’’ 

She’s trying very hard to suppress her laughter, fighting the smile creeping up on her face. ‘’That’s all well and good, but I’m trying to tell a story here.’’ To her credit, she pulls off a stern look quite well. It brings me back to the office days. 

I raise my hands up defensively. ‘’Okay, alright. I’m sorry, please continue. 

***

So, Pepper has a girlfriend. Wanda tells me that her name is Kate and that she’s only four months older than me. She tells me a bunch of other things, something about Kate’s rich mother and her being an accomplished archer. But all of that falls to the wayside quite quickly when Wanda delves into the particulars of her relationship with Pepper. 

‘’She’s her what now?’’ 

I am struggling to keep myself composed. It’s not that this concept is foreign to me, far from it. I just can’t quite wrap my head around Pepper, stuck up, wound tight, prim and proper, Pepper, being into this.

‘’That’s just what Pepper calls her, she’s not treated as an actual pet.’’ Wanda says, before backtracking. ‘’Well, maybe a little bit, but that doesn’t matter right now.’’ 

‘’So… They do that stuff together, like, in public?’’

Wanda quirks a brow, the corner of her mouth twitching, as though she’s struggling against an upcoming smirk. ‘’That stuff?’’

Quite suddenly, my cheeks feel very warm. ‘’You know, like kinky stuff.’’

‘’Oh?’’ Wanda says, shuffling closer to me on the sofa. ‘’I didn’t think a sweet girl like you would know anything about that.’’ She’s grinning widely, and I can’t hold eye contact with her any longer. I study the dotted pattern of my socks, determined to ignore the definite heat in my face and neck. ‘’I know plenty of things.’’ I shrug, hoping it comes off as indifferent. ‘’I just want to know if they do it in public, I don’t know why else you’d have to tell me this.’’ 

Wanda on her part graciously avoids mentioning my knowledge in this area any further, and we spend a half-hour talking it all through. She patiently answers my questions to the best of her abilities. She explains in a gentle tone how these types of dynamics are important to Pepper, some of her other friends, and, most surprisingly to me, herself as well. In each other’s company, she tells me, they have agreed to allow each other to live out their dynamics in whichever way they like. 

This leads to a myriad of questions from me, most of which make Wanda chuckle. Yes, sometimes they do sexual things, but not always. No, they don’t all have orgies all the time. Yes, they make sure every party consents before anything happens. No, they won’t be doing anything sexual today. 

It’s a lot to take in. 

‘’So, I take it you have done this too.’’

She’s quiet for a while, while she contemplates my question. Her eyes follow her finger as it traces patterns into the fabric of the sofa. ‘’I had a girl too, a while ago, and we had a dynamic. Pepper knew, and Agatha and Maria.’’ 

A hollow sort of feeling settles into my stomach at the thought of Wanda with some nameless, faceless girl. Before now, I hadn’t given it much thought, but the mere idea of it makes my blood flow like white-hot fire underneath my skin.

‘’It didn’t work out?’’ I ask, hopefully. 

Wanda smiles morosely. ‘’I think she liked my money more than she ever liked me.’’

***

Five hours later, I’m sitting on the very edge of the sofa, trying to resist the urge to wipe my sweaty palms on it. I did my hair for the occasion, curling it in a pretty fashion. I even put on one of my nice dresses and picked out dangly earrings that sparkle in the light. For whose benefit this all is, I am not sure. 

I can hear the voices in the hall, getting louder by the second, and I make sure to straighten my back. I am under strict instructions from Wanda to not address Kate, just say hello to Pepper and don’t mind her partner. My protests about how rude it would be to just ignore her were repeatedly disputed by Wanda, and I was overruled.

Pepper carries a thick folder in one hand, and in the other, a purple leash. It connects to a tight collar, like a dog’s, which is fastened around the girl’s throat. Instantly, I feel myself go bright red. I force myself to look at Pepper’s face, not the leash in her hand, and certainly not the slightly shorter brunette trailing behind her. 

Pepper is immaculately put together, in a white skirt suit that compliments the deep red colour of her nails and lips. She wears a smug, satisfied look when she eyes me, waiting for a crack in my veneer, waiting for me to comment on the girl half-hidden behind her. I hold my tongue, remembering Wanda’s strict instructions to only greet Pepper. We exchange pleasantries, talking of small things, like the weather and the atrocious gas prices, as Pepper and her companion settle in. Wanda cosies up on the sofa next to me, but Pepper chooses an armchair opposite us, and the girl called Kate, sinks down onto the floor by her feet. 

I am focused so intensely on not staring at the kneeling girl, that even though I see Pepper’s mouth move, her words don’t register in my head at all. Wanda’s steady hand covers my own, and I realize for the first time that I’m shaking. Pepper repeats her question, something about how much I enjoyed having Wanda to myself for a week. It’s easy enough to thank her for this, since I really am sincerely thankful for the time she allowed us to have together. After this, though, I hand the conversation over to Wanda and the old friends happily chatter away together as their two shadows silently flank them, watching, listening. 

From the corner of my eye, I watch Kate. It’s difficult to do just from my peripheral vision, but I can tell that she’s resting her head against Pepper’s thigh, her knees tucked neatly under herself. Pepper has a hand in the girl’s hair, moving slowly, almost methodically, stroking her gently. Her eyes are closed, her breathing slow. I wonder what she’s thinking. I wonder what she’s feeling. I wonder if her knees ache. Mine would ache if I sat like that for so long. I wonder if Wanda would like it if I sat like that for her. I wonder-

A sharp prod in my side shakes me from my reverie, and I look up to see Pepper smirking at me from across the coffee table, a single eyebrow raised, waiting for my reaction, waiting for me to run from the room or to question the scene in front of me. 

I don’t. Instead, I listen politely to Pepper repeating her question.

She wants us to attend a gala together, some charity fund-raiser. According to her, it’ll be the perfect way to hard launch our ‘relationship’. 

‘’Just think about it!’’ She says, waving around the papers in her hand emphatically. ‘’The two of you, waltzing around this event together, no one knows who you are, of course-’’ She adds with a dismissive wave of her hand. ‘’So that will work in our favour, everyone will be clambering to find out who you are and why Wanda brought you.’’ 

The thought of anyone genuinely wanting to know who I am, and perhaps going to certain lengths to find that out, unsettles me greatly. But Wanda looks so happy, her eyes crinkled up in a smile as she studies the booklet on the event that Pepper gave her. So, I decide to hold my tongue. 

‘’So are we just supposed to go around telling everyone at the event that we’re dating, or…?’’ Upon seeing Pepper’s look of agitation, I trail off, letting my words die quietly in my throat. 

Wanda riffles through a few of the documents on the coffee table and pulls out a slim folder. Through the see-through transparent sleeve, I can make out some sort of drawing, or animation. It looks like a still from an animated project that is still in development. Like those terrifying images of Disney characters before their animation is fully complete. 

She pulls the sheets of paper out of the sleeve, handing them to me as Pepper pulls out her own version of this packet of papers. The paper is heavy and glossy, several large images printed out, each on their own sheet of paper. There’s a building plan, showing the skeleton of a large opera house. Locations are marked with red marker, showing the entrance, the exits, the bathrooms, locations marked with security, etc. There’s a guest list, pictures of hundreds of people printed out in neat little rows, their names, ages and occupations listed below them. 

The images that capture my attention most, are the ones right at the front of the packet. The ones that are vaguely reminiscent of half rendered animations. The pictures show several different angles of the back of a limousine, they look like pictures taken through the windscreen of the car, the camera flash lighting up the backseat of the car, where two crudely animated people are clearly kissing.

*** 

Pepper lays out her plan step by immaculate step. She has it all worked out. The colour scheme of the outfits, the delicate matching jewellery, and even our path through the building have been planned out. Pepper has made sure that we will interact with all the right people, the guests who are well known to be gossips, so that we can be sure to be the talk of the evening. 

‘’And then, after you’ve made your last round, the car will be waiting at the front entrance-’’ Wanda leans over to look at the building plan in my hands, where our path is stippled out in different coloured markers, the broken up line beginning and ending at the front entrance. 

‘’There will be paparazzi, of course, some of them are our own, but not all, so be on your guard. You should look like you don’t want to be photographed, don’t smile or pose, and definitely don’t engage them. So, when you get-’’ 

‘’Hold on.’’ I interrupt her, raising my hand to stop her mid-sentence. At her feet, Kate shifts her weight, her eyes opening, watching me with reproach. ’’What do you mean by paparazzi of our own?’’ I’m addressing Pepper, but it’s Wanda who answers.

‘’We have bonds with some photographers who we pay to stage candid shots, whenever it’s necessary, to assist with some PR work.’’ 

‘’So that’s what we’re going to do? Stage a kiss and have them take the picture?’’ 

‘’If you had just let me finish, I would have got to it.’’ Pepper points out, idly twisting the leash between her fingers, her glossy red nails shining in the light. ‘’Once you’re in the car you’re going to drive a few blocks, the car you’re in won’t have a partition, and we’ll make sure our guys are stationed at the exact right spot to get the shot they need. The driver will give you a sign, and you two can get the show rolling.’’ She wiggles her eyebrows, and I make a point of not looking at Wanda. 

‘’Come morning, you’ll be on the front page of every paper and magazine you can imagine.’’

*** 

Our guests leave after an hour and a half of more planning, many questions, and plenty of chatter between the two friends. Once, Pepper gives me a start, when she, mid-conversation, leans down to give Kate a long, languid kiss. I know I ought not to have stared, but the sight of Pepper hooking a single finger into the ring of Kate’s collar makes me freeze. She holds the girl’s face with one of her hands, nails digging into the skin of her cheek. Kate doesn’t seem to mind. Wanda’s eyes burn into the side of my head, I know I should look away. I don’t.

Once Wanda has walked the two of them out, she joins me back on the sofa. Now that we’re alone again, I feel comfortable enough to curl up on the cushions once more, my legs tucked under me. I lean against her with a heavy sigh and shut my eyes. 

‘’That was a lot, huh?’’ Wanda chuckles, and my head bounces along with her shaking shoulders.‘’God, absolutely… At least it’s all been planned out for us, so we don’t have to think it all up too.’’ Wanda lays her head down on my own and hums thoughtfully. ‘’I meant with those two putting on that show.’’ She says quietly. ‘’It looked like you were a bit nervous.’’

‘’Oh.’’ I say stupidly. I did not expect Wanda to bring it up at all. I was so sure she would just breeze past it because it’s just so normal to her. ‘’I wasn’t really nervous, it was just-’’ I hesitate, not wanting to cause offence. ‘’unexpected.’’

Wanda doesn’t respond immediately, she just hums again, acknowledging what I said, but still allowing room for the statement to breathe. ‘’What did you not expect? I did explain to you what would happen.’’ She muses. ‘’But the kiss was a bit unexpected I guess, I told Pepper off for it when I let her out.’’ 

‘’I just don’t really understand why Kate would want to do that.’’ I blurt out, making Wanda laugh. ‘’Hey, I don’t want to make out with Pepper either, but to each their own.’’ I elbow her gently in her side, unable to stop myself from smiling. ‘’You know that’s not what I meant.’’

‘’Alright, I’m sorry! What did you mean by it, then?’’

‘’It’s just- I get the whole sexual aspect of it, but why would she want to sit on the floor like that when nothing sexual is happening, does she get off on that or something?’’

Wanda considers this for a moment, and when she speaks it seems to me like she chooses every word very carefully. ‘’Some people only engage in a dynamic for sexual reasons, so it’s confined to the bedroom. But there are some people who want more than that, and they choose to live their lives like this. It’s what makes them happy, it’s how they function best as a couple. It goes way beyond sexual intimacy.’’ 

Theoretically, this makes perfect sense, but I still don’t quite understand how kneeling at Pepper’s feet is something that makes Kate happy if it’s nothing sexual, and I tell Wanda so. 

‘’It’s a matter of giving up control, I think.’’ She says earnestly. ‘’She puts all of her trust in Pepper and gives up her autonomy. Think about it, Pepper tells her where to go, where to sit, and when to speak. She doesn’t have to make those decisions, she doesn’t even have to think about it. They’re a bit of an extreme example, but giving over that control makes her happy. And I think you know how much Pepper enjoys being handed control.’’

I nod slowly, mulling it all over in my head, wondering what it would be like to not have to make every minute decision for myself. ‘’Don’t you think it might be nice to let go every once in a while? Give the reins to someone else, so you can focus on emotions, as opposed to thoughts?’’

My heart stutters in my chest, picking up its pace, ever so slightly. ‘’I don’t know…’’ I hesitate. The idea of letting someone else do all the thinking for me sounds beyond freeing, but insecurity and doubt have me bound. ‘’I feel like I’d mess it up by being awkward or uncomfortable… I could only do that with someone I really trust.’’

I feel Wanda smile against my temple, her breath hot against my skin. ‘’Do you trust me?’’ 

I don’t hesitate, not for a single second. ‘’Yes.’’

‘’Would you like to try it out for yourself? Just to see what you think of it?’’ I flush, my neck and cheeks grow hot at the thought of myself kneeling at Wanda’s feet, just as I watched Kate do by Pepper’s. ‘’Wouldn’t that be… I mean- We don’t do that stuff together.’’ 

Wanda laughs, not mockingly, but sweetly, her voice gentle even in her laughter. ‘’It’s not sexual, not if we don’t want it to be. Think of it as meditation. You allow me to take over the burden of all of that thinking and worrying and all you have to do is do as I ask and sit quietly by me.’’ I nod my head before I get a chance to overthink it. What’s the harm? It’s just like Wanda said, it’s basically a meditation exercise. 

‘’I have a phone call to make.’’ She says, as she gently extracts herself from me, swinging her legs down to sit primly upright. ‘’It won’t be long, maybe 10 minutes. You can sit between my legs, however you like, you don’t have to kneel if you don’t want to.’’

I am acutely aware of a slight tremble in my hands and the pressing heat of my cheeks. If Wanda notices the redness in my face, she doesn’t mention it, and I’m grateful for that. I move awkwardly, unsure at first of what position to take. I settle for sitting down with my back towards Wanda, in between her legs and resting against the soft cushion of the sofa. I swing my legs to the side, tidily tucking them out of the way. 

‘’Are you comfortable?’’ Wanda asks, and I nod, grateful that I don’t have to look her in the eyes. A strange combination of shame and elation fills my chest, swirling around inside me, speeding up the beating of my heart and making my stomach clench in anxious anticipation. 

‘’If you want to stop at any time, for whatever reason, give me two taps on my legs, okay? Can you do that now to show me you understand?’’ I tap the flat of my palm twice against her calf, the fabric of her trousers swishing as I do so. 

‘’Good girl. When you tell me you want to stop, I’ll end the phone call immediately, alright? And don’t be scared to tap out, you’re safe with me.’’ 

I let out a long sigh, shifting the hem of my dress to cover the rapidly cooling skin of my calves. ‘’Okay, I think I’m ready.’’

***

Wanda begins her phone call, chatting away to Maria Hill, the woman who now holds my old position. For a few seconds, I listen attentively to the conversation, Wanda’s easy manner and the casual tone of voice reminding me of how well acquainted the two of them are. Then I remember that I shouldn’t be doing all this thinking, so I make an effort to clear my mind. 

I take several deep breaths in through my nose, letting the air out through my mouth. Wanda must take notice of this, because her free hand finds my hair, smoothing it back from my forehead before sliding her fingers through the strands. Slowly, methodically, she scratches her nails over my scalp. The rhythm of her swirling fingers is hypnotizing, I close my eyes and allow the repetitive movement to lull me into a deep state of calm. 

Everything else around me falls away, everything but the feel of Wanda’s fingers on my scalp and her voice somewhere in the distance. I lean against her thigh, resting the side of my face against the soft fabric of her trousers, feeling the gentle heat of her skin blooming underneath. My ear presses against her and I hear the blood thundering through my veins, like the crashing of ocean waves against the shore. Wanda’s hand steady in my hair feels like safety, like coming home after a long night out. It feels like hot chocolate during a snowstorm and being tucked into bed. 

When her phone call ends, I feel strangely sad, and partly annoyed at having to stop so soon. But Wanda doesn’t make any move to end this, whatever we might call it. The room is silent now, no longer filled with Wanda’s low raspy voice, her accent thick on certain words. She’s sitting very still, not moving a muscle, almost like she’s trying not to disturb me. 

I allow myself to adjust slowly, like waking myself up after a tiring night, gently coaxing my mind back to consciousness in the early hours of the morning. Groggily, I open my eyes, somehow surprised to find the room still permeated with daylight. I feel sleepy, my limbs heavy from relaxation. Wanda stirs for the first time, leaning down to cup my cheek. ‘’Are you okay, honey? Are you ready to get back up?’’ She asks, in a voice slightly above a whisper.

I let out a huge jawn, my jaw stretching wide, making Wanda chuckle. ‘’I’ll take that as a yes.’’ She pats the space next to her on the sofa. ‘’Now we get to the best part.’’ 

‘’Better than that?’’ I wonder out loud, as I gingerly extract myself from the floor. Once I’m out from between Wanda’s legs, she kicks off her shoes, laying back on the sofa, spreading her legs and indicating I should sit between them. ‘’Oh yes, because now I get to reward you for being so good.’’ 

Her arms wrap around my waist, guiding me to lay down with her, my head on her chest, one ear pressed down to hear the steady ‘thump, thump, thump’ of her heart. Over the course of the past month, Wanda and I haven’t shrunk from physical contact, hugs and casual cuddles are standard practice by now, but we hardly ever do anything more intimate than that, at least not during the daytime. In the late hours, it’s all different of course, under the cover of darkness and under the guise of tired delirium, we would hold one another all night, our bodies drawn to each other even in sleep. 

It’s such a rarity to be this close to her at this time of day, and I revel in it. The deep thud of her heartbeat reverberates throughout my body, I breathe in her perfume and allow my eyes to close once more. 

‘’You enjoyed that, didn’t you?’’ Wanda murmurs, her voice quiet, soft enough to not disturb the peace. ‘’You did so well, I’m very proud of you for trusting me and giving it a go.’’ I glow under her praise, it warms me from the inside out, like hot mulled wine on a blustery winter's day. I nod the best I can in this position. ‘’It was nice, I wish it would’ve lasted longer.’’ She hums thoughtfully. ‘’What did you like about it?’’

‘’Everything was so quiet, like I had nothing to worry about for a bit. And…’’ I trail off, my voice getting lost in the rapid current of thoughts, wondering what to say next, and if I ought to say anything at all. ‘’And?’’ Wanda prompts, gentle encouragement nudging me to tell the truth. ‘’And- It just felt good to do what you told me to, and it feels good for that to be acknowledged.’’ I say somewhat sheepishly, the heat returning to my face. ‘’Is that weird?’’

Her arms tighten around me, and she rubs my back with a gentle hand. ‘’It’s completely normal to feel that way, and I’m so proud of you for acknowledging those feelings, I know it isn’t easy.’’ It feels strange to be talked to in this way, for Wanda to treat my small confession as something worth being rewarded for. It’s embarrassing, but I’m still pleased, grateful for the attention in spite of it all. 

‘’I think I just feel a bit weird about liking it, because it’s what Kate was doing, and her and Pepper… You know, they do that because of their… thing.’’ Wanda chuckles gently, our bodies swaying as her shoulders shake. ‘’You don’t have to compare what we did, with what they do. They have their own reasons for that dynamic. If you enjoy it and would like to do it again, there isn’t any harm in it. Like I said, it has nothing to do with sexual intimacy.’’

I turn my face up and towards her, the angle slightly awkward. ‘’We can do this again?’’

She’s looking down at me and I can see her face now, she scrunches up her nose affectionately. ‘’We can do this whenever you’d like, little dove.’’

I rest my head back fully on her chest, her skin is hot against my own where her shirt doesn’t cover it. I look at the skin of her bare arm, curled around my body, holding me tight against her. I reach out a finger, tracing the pattern of freckles, connecting them all like a star chart. She brushes my hair away from my face and presses a soft kiss to my temple. 

My finger stops in its tracks. My skin burns where she kissed me, searing with the gentleness of it all. For half a heartbeat, I wonder what would happen if I turned my head and pressed my lips to hers. Then she leans back, resting her head against the sofa pillows, and the moment passes. My finger resumes its path across her arms. Her demeanour hasn’t changed, she lies there, relaxed, at ease. 

Underneath my ear, pressed tight against her chest, her heart is racing. 

━━━━━━━━━ ✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯ ━━━━━━━━━

Taglist:

@swirlofsnow @emeraldevan @ichala @romeo-the-cactus @lainjupi @messuhp @lissaaaa145 @princessprudy @333hhm @im-my-hope @inluvwithfictionalwomen @gay-trash-in-a-paperbag @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @imthenatynat @imnotawitch

Next chapter

[mikomikono]

hi miko! im here with a fic writing question… i was thinking about how to make smut good bc recently i feel like whenever i get to the smut part of the fic im writing i get super bored, like im just rehashing whatever ive been writing in every smut scene ive done for years. you and endles came to mind bc i always find your guys nsfw scenes really compelling, and great, and unique. while also being hot and fun (very important w smut!!) so i wanted to ask if you had any tips for keeping things exciting or fresh when you are tackling those scenes! especially because you guys have experience writing the same characters many times over and manage to be so creative and distinct with every scene ive read from you. so, i guess, penny for your thoughts, if you feel like it! (sorry for sending this only to you and asking for both your opinions, it was the simplest 😭. if u want to answer yourself only thats fine haha)

❤️

Heyyyy oh my god I never expected to become someone ppl would come to for writing advice, what an honour 💖 also, I hope you don't mind me answering publicly, bc I feel like this is something a lit of writers struggle with! I will put it under a cut tho, bc I ended up writing quite a bit oops

So. Smut. It's kinda funny you should ask me about that, bc the first proper sex scene I ever wrote was last year for Steamship Sexcapades (bc I am not counting that one feeble attempt at 19 that was so cringe that I hid it away and didn't even think about trying again for like 8 yrs) but I suppose after writing *checks The Canon word count* a lot since then means something :DD

Here's the thing: I also feel like I'm rehashing things. Constantly. There's only so many ways you can say "cock in hole ➡️ thrust" before you're gonna have to repeat some phrases. And honestly, I feel like I repeat phrases remarkably often! But in a way that's all writing! (or that's how I stop myself from getting too depressed about it lol) The readers don't notice! Usually. And as long as you don't use the exact same wording every single time.

Ok, so here's a few tips on what I, personally, think you need to make a good sex scene:

Don't be afraid of the words. Y'know, the first time I wrote "half-hard cock" I (allegedly) had to take a 10min break and texted a friend that I was not going to be able to do this. But after a while you sort of get used to it and the words that seemed embarrassing stop being that, and become just... Words. And you also shouldn't shy away from more "cringe" words! Sometimes its fun to be a little cringe!

Related, you should try to love the words. But that's just good general writing advice, I feel.

Describe the emotions. Most people feel... something towards those they are intimate with, and that should be true in erotica too. It should be especially true in erotica, I think! Even if it's a one night stand, strangers who met in the club 5mins ago, whatever... You want the characters to feel.

Don't forget the physical. This is a thing that might seem a bit... weird. Like, you're writing sex, how could it not be physical? But what I mean is that you shouldn't forget to describe how it feels to the people involved, most notably your POV character. It's very easy to get lost in describing what they're doing and completely forget to get into the actual feeling. You're not writing a sex manual! And I have read fics where half way through I realise that's what it sounds like.

It's never just about the sex. Even if you think it is, it's not. It's about the connection, the narrative, the characterisation... It's about showing something that you can only show through the kind of vulnerable intimacy that sex scenes provide. Even if it's a oneshot pwp, it still has something to say. Maybe that something is wanting to get your rocks off, but also we're talking about fanfiction... We don't read and write that just to get off. It's always about the characters.

Rehashing is fine, actually. As I said, there's only so many ways to describe certain things, and so many ways you can have sex. Except that's not really true, because the secret to keeping it fresh is mixing it up! You can change positions, you can change who's the top/bottom, you can add foreplay (you should) and then change what kind of foreplay you wanna have! You can look into kinks! You can change locations! (I know we've done that a lot) You can add or remove any number of things to make each individual encounter different! And that's the key: repetition is fine, so long as you don't use the exact same everything every time. Case in point, there is a tumblr post which I would link except I'm on mobile, that is titled sth like "list of vocal sounds for smut", which has a list of, well, sounds/verbs (moan, groan, hiss, whimper, whisper etc) and adjectives that could be paired with them (hoarse, needy, quiet, throaty, desperate, wanton etc). The point is, that the best way to keep from sounding repetitive is to mix and match the words so that even if you say "groan" five times in 5k words, it's a different kind of groan every time. The same applies to sex acts! Do you have any idea how much cock Ryunosuke has sucked during The Canon? A lot. But it doesn't feel repetitive (hopefully) because everything else around it is switched up.

And perhaps most importantly: you gotta be at least a little horny for it yourself. I get it, man, writing smut is weird. You sit in front of your computer, staring at the monitor like "hmm is it better to use the word cock or dick or member?" And like... That's not very sexy. But! But!!! At the end of the day you gotta write something that makes you excited! Otherwise what's the point? Why are you writing if it doesn't fulfill you on some level??

Anyway, that's just my thoughts on the matter. If you want more specific help with writing, you can always DM me, I don't mind~

Also, endles says she is too mentally exhausted to properly answer, but she seconds everything I said, especially the point about loving the words. Actually she really wants to say sth about that, so I'm paraphrasing her for the rest of this:

You, as a writer, should love language. You should love the neat little things that language can do and seek out new things to try every time. It's a journey of discovery! Just like sex is always a new journey, even if it's the same characters and the same sex acts, every individual time is a chance to find something new. Let yourself have fun! Write something really stupid and work from that. The way I create scenes by writing jokes, even for serious scenes, because sex at the core is kinda funny. You're standing naked (at least partially) in front of this other naked person and it makes you feel a bit funny.

Also concrete advice: pick a list of 5-10 words you want to use. They can be anything, verbs, nouns, adjectives, as long as you really, really vibe with them, because they make you happy, as long as they're not words you already use a lot. They can also all relate to the same theme if you want! And then find a way to put all those words in.

[dangerehrenn]

id love the sharing one bed trope with chris (also ive really enjoyed your writing so far, thanks for making such good stuff :))

of course!! thank you for liking my work, it means so much to me <3

sharing a bed pt2

chris:

is a sweetheart about it all

will try and sleep on the chair in the corner

or the floor

eventually you have to practically drag him into the bed with you

he assures you if you’re uncomfortable at anytime to literally kick him out of bed because he’s a heavy sleeper

which makes you giggle

“no y/n im serious if you get uncomfortable kick me out of the bed, that’ll definitely wake me up”

he’ll be a bit nervous

but he covers it up with random (fake) facts about sleeping in the same bed as someone else

“you know sleeping in the same bed with someone and not cuddling them is a crime in some counties”

obviously you know he’s joking but you go along with it

“alright come here then party boy, don’t want to break the law”

and that’s now you end up cuddling with chris

(you start as the little spoon but after a while you find yourself as the big spoon)

he probably falls asleep first

but by some miracle if he doesn’t, he’ll look at how beautiful you look when you’re relaxed

this makes him realise he wants to sleep beside you all the time from now on

steveo:

when the receptionist tells you that there’s only a king size bed left

steveos hesitant to accept the room

scared you don’t want to be that close to him

but to his surprise, and delight, you tell the receptionist it’ll be fine

he starts to arrange blankets on the floor for him and you stop him

“dude i don’t mind sleeping on the floor i’ve slept in worse places”

“steveo don’t be ridiculous the bed is huge”

you both get into bed and originally stay as far away from each other as you can

but after you guys start talking you both move closer together

until your knees are touching under the covers

him propping himself up on his arm as you talk

you probably start talking about something ridiculous like

if there’s a zombie apocalypse what would you do

“the zombies wouldn’t even be able to get near me” - steveo

you both start to drift off to sleep at around the same

and instinctively you both reach for eachother

not caring anymore, you both cuddle as you fall asleep

when he wakes up in the morning, he realises that that was the best sleep he’s ever had

bam:

when you explain that there’s only one bed

he becomes the biggest tease about the whole thing

but is secretly quite nervous

“aw you excited to share a bed with me y/n?”

you can tell he’s faking being confident about it but you don’t say anything

he gets into bed first

definitely hurrys you to follow suit

“can you hurry up and get in bed so i can sleep”

when you get into bed he just stares at the ceiling

only calming his nerves when you start to talk to him about random stuff that happened during the day

when he starts getting excited about something that happened earlier

you laugh and casually wrap your arm around him and pull yourself close to him

he looses his train of thought as he realises what you’ve done

but eventually he hugs you back

asks if you’re falling asleep as you start to doze off

waking you back up again

“bam shut up and let me sleep” you whisper at him

he giggles to himself and eventually goes to sleep after he knows you’re asleep

dave:

comes off surprisingly chill about the whole thing

(but we know he isn’t, he’s nervous as fuck)

will ask if you want him to find another room

but when you say it’s fine that’s the end of the conversation

he’ll lie down facing away from you when you’re both in bed

then gets a bit paranoid that you might think he doesn’t want to share a bed with you

this is confirmed when you whisper “do you want me to sleep on the floor”

to which he panics and turns around to look at you so quickly

“no no no, i just didn’t want to overstep, you don’t need to sleep on the floor”

you both laugh at how panicked he was

and start talking about some random things

he moves his arm so it’s around your shoulders, trying to get himself more comfortable in bed

and you end up moving your head so it’s on his chest

he’ll look down and smile at you

“you comfy?”

you just nod and smile

because fatigue has finally got to you

he rubs his thumb against your shoulder and eventually drifts asleep

[ratanarchist]

hi, i've been following you for a lil bit and started rewatching buffy (re-living my teenage years) and ive seen you talk about s6, which i absolutely agree! and i think a lot in that season has to do with how buffy's death was handled at the beginning of s2. she was killed by the master and then (being 16 and all) came back and wasn't dealing with it all that well (shocker), and tbh the main reactions from her friends was just 'to deal with it' and 'get over it'. even after Giles tries to explain to them that she might be more traumatised than she lets on. (Giles is the person who should have stepped up and said something to her but he also just let her push him away when he KNEW. HE IS THE ADULT.) ...and in the end, all of the responsibility of 'failing' to protect her friends falls on her AGAIN because she wasn't in the right mind to make a sound decision but nobody acknowledges that. it doesn't feel fair towards her. she's carrying too much on her own. ive been having feelings watching btvs from a fresh perspective and had no clue where to put this so here i am. sorry if this is weird or sudden and feel free to ignore.

hi! i've never made that connection with the start of season 2, that's actually such a good point. and it makes sense to me how differently this is handled in season 2 and 6, because the show is at very different points in the way it portrays these themes. what i like about season 6 is how it actually takes the premise of buffy coming back from the dead (and the trauma that causes) seriously. like the whole idea of buffy being pulled out of heaven by her friends and then having to pretend she's ok even though she's literally experiencing her version of hell is INSANE. i like how the season delves into the main character's trauma and how each of them are kinda fighting themselves, and how that fractures the group, and how they find their way back to each other. obviously the writing has some major issues and certain uuhm Questionable Choices were made. but yeah the whole portrayal of buffy's depression and her alienation from her friends is so well done. but also i agree she never actually got the support she really needed cause everyone was too busy with their own shit 💀 they put that girl through so much man, someone let her rest!!

[my-castles-crumbling]

hey, cas

so, i kind of wanted to rant a bit, but theres a few things in here i know could get people riled up so honestly im a little nervous sharing this. i also want to preface it by saying that i am NOT hating on any fics i name here, they are just well-known examples and fics that the fandom hold close

as a fic writer myself, i love adding my own little headcanons to characters. sometimes theyre hcs ive seen from someone else and loved, and other times ive thought of them myself. in the latter case, ill often then see that someone else thought of it too, which is really cool!

but then there comes the hcs that people see and think "oh! thats from x fic!" for example, if you bring up dyslexic remus to most marauders fans, theyre gonna talk about atyd. ive never read the fic myself, its not my taste, but ive heard a lot of things about it and it does honestly sound like a great fic so genuinely no hate towards it. but i hc remus as dyslexic and i did so before learning that atyd has dyslexic remus, and any time i consider putting that hc into one of my fics all i can think about is that people will see it and talk about atyd. maybe theyll say i was copying or stole the idea. maybe theyll compare the two and decide the way i depict it isnt as good. maybe ill end up accidentally using a similar or the same thing for remus to have aiding him, for example a spell or something one of his friends do, and ill be told im plagiarising, and i absolutely hate that.

another example is best friends brother. its such a well known fic in the fandom that anyone who writes anything similar is going to be compared to it. or crimson rivers; anyone who writes a hunger games au (even if its not even remotely similar to cr) is going to be told theyre trying to copy. i love both bfb and cr but i wish people could accept that two writers can have the same idea without copying or trying to recreate/steal it

one of my current ongoing fics has the same central trope as another big fic in the fandom (i dont want to reveal which, because i dont want to risk being de-anoned) and i went out of my way to avoid reading the big fandom fic until ive finished writing my own because im so terrified that if theres even a single vague similarity i might get called out and told im copying

i want to say im just being paranoid, but i cant. i hate that the fandom has come to the point where authors have to bring something out that absolutely noone has ever done before ever just so that they dont get told theyve taken the idea from someone else. even if they had, its perfectly normal and fine to be inspired by an idea to make it your own! obviously actual plagiarism is not okay and should be called out, but theres a difference between plagiarism and just having a similar idea or hc

going back to my original point (because this was where my frustrations with this started) i hate that dyslexic remus will always be seen as an atyd thing, when it isnt. again, no hate to the fic or the author, this isnt an attack on them at all, its just unfortunate that the fandom has kind of taken it so much as canon that anything will always be compared to it, if that makes sense?

tldr: let me have dyslexic remus without telling me im copying atyd! let me have him use magic or have his friends do little things to help him without telling me i stole it from atyd!

sorry about that cas haha, i realise its a bit long. it just really really frustrates me to no end, yknow?

Hi!

Yes, I can definitely see what you're saying. I think if something is inspired by another fic (i.e. you read CR and then you're like...oh, I wanna write a Hunger Games AU) it's good to give credit where it's due by saying "inspired by x." But in a fandom with thousands of fics, the same ideas are bound to come up even without having read other fics. If people accuse you of copying and you genuinely haven't, I would just let them yell. People are always going to have negative things to say, you know?

[cloudcountry]

i created my own ikemen wrapped for 2023. this is how i feel about the routes i played by the end of the year!!

this isnt spoiler free so tread carefully!!

IKEMEN VAMPIRE!!

im sorry jean you would have had a higher rating if i DIDN'T play your route. i'm mostly neutral towards a lot of them but i ADORE the top four. it becomes even funnier when you realize that the top four are the only ones whose routes i have completed.

i played isaac's route twice, shakespeare's route twice, vincent's route once, and arthur's route once. i started comte's route only to drop it, and i am currently on jean's route!! i did not diversify my suitors at all JAHSJASGHD

a memorable thing about each suitor i played this year:

one thing i remember about isaac is when he started to fall in love with her, the scene in the church when he tied that ribbon in her hair. i nearly choked when he called her darling, he was smiling so sweetly and holding her so close. it was such a tender scene.

( honorable mention to that certain fanart i was tagged in so many times that the op called me a true isaac lover or something along those lines. it made me really happy that so many people, even people i didn't know, knew how much i adore him. )

for will, my most memorable moment of him was when i realized i loved him after playing vincent's route. i hadn't cried that hard over a character's misfortune in a while, but will's always been good at giving me a rollercoaster of emotions.

( honorable mention to vio calling my love for will blinding, ive thought about it a lot ever since she said that C: )

my most memorable moment of vincent was when he tried so hard to make mc genuinely smile on her first few days in the mansion. he didn't want her to feel uncomfortable so he tried his absolute best to make sure she could be herself and be happy. he really is an angel.

for arthur, it is one hundred percent his apology to mc for almost biting her. i've never seen him look more like a sad puppy in my five months of playing and honestly, it was so nice to see him reflecting on his actions and actually being able to admit his feelings (since we know arthur isnt the best with that.)

( once again, honorable mention to my enemies to lovers arc with this man. he's really not as bad as he appears, he is one of the most tender hearted and sweet men in the whole game. give him a chance if your heart allows it!! )

even though i'm not done with either comte's or jean's route, comte's most memorable moment was when he called the mc strong in chapter one. it was nice too see someone acknowledge her situation and try their best to help her instead of biting her. side eye.

and on that note, i'm sorry jean but your most memorable moment is the only one that made me angry. i hate that he bit her and i hate that the writing just skipped past it like it meant nothing. im blaming this on the writing itself because i believe jean's route is a good route so far, but it would have been so much better if it had a different beginning. but if i pick one that was actually wholesome, i'd say whenn he took her to the field of lilies and said the flowers were very her.

i started playing on july 2nd, 2023!! and what a journey it has been ^^

IKEMEN PRINCE!!

my first route was yves!! i wanted to play licht's first but people talked me out if it because his route is HEAVY!! i ended up playing rio's, then licht's, then nokto's, then i played about halfway through clavis's before keith's route was released. i played keith's route twice and then hopped back over to clavis, and i'm currently finishing up his route!!

a memorable thing about each suitor i played this year:

when mc chased after yves when he was leaving for obsidian just to tell him she loved him i was SCREAMING. i remember really admiring how much strength it must have taken to go to the kingdom that abandoned you.

for rio, it was 100% the discussion he had with nokto about how he doesn't want to be with mc because he might put her in danger by being with her, but ultimately he can't help himself. that was such a good insight into his character.

licht's route was. intense. and because of that it was packed with moments that i agonized over. but overall, i think what nokto told mc about how the closer she got to licht, the more she was hurting him stuck with me the most. it really showcased the bond between the twins and sent a knife through my heart :C

i actually forgot i played nokto's route and skipped right over him, and that probably says a lot LMAO oops. honestly i thought his route's pacing was weird but the romantic ending was very cute. the most memorable moment from his route wasnt even a cute one HELP!!! when mc straight up slapped him for no reason and he was like "oh so slapping me helps you huh??" and she was like " :(( no...." and then they made out like WHAT!!!

clavis is also a very memorable person, and after spending a lot of time analyzing him i know why so many people love him now. something that really stuck with me was his philosophy on government and how the current ruler decides whats right and wrong. i think the same about people in power so it was nice to see my sentiments reflected in a prince.

oooh its time for my favorite prince!! keith also had a lot of memorable moments and ive been sitting here for like ten minutes trying to pick out the best ones.

for nice keith, i'd say the moment when he told mc he would try his best to stop saying "a guy like me" and "i'm sorry" over and over. it really touched me because i know how hard it is to break that habit and it made me really happy when he said he'd try ^^

wicked keith was such a TEASE but the most memorable moment with him was when he and mc went out to that cafe and he actually answered a lot of her questions. i know that may seem trival but it felt like a sigh of trust to me and that felt really sweet.

( honorable mention to the scene were they gave mc the earrings they picked out for her during the christmas event, i actually cried. )

i started playing on july 11th, 2023!!

IKEMEN REVOLUTION!!

my first route was kyle ash and honestly i'd say for a guy i don't like romantically his route was very memorable. he's a great first route and if anyone is a bit indecisive as to who they want to pick i'd definitely recommend him!! ANYWAYS moving on, i played harr's route next, then edgar, zero, jonah, then i tried playing ray's but he was being stinky so i started lancelot's route.

a memorable thing about each suitor i played this year:

like i said, kyle had one of the best route i've ever read. listen to vivi aka the ikerev authority people. i remember lots of bits and pieces from his route, such as his determination to keep people alive, his pig goo, mc making him soup so he wouldnt drink himself to sleep, his gentle care for her once he figured out he liked her, how he pointed out the full moon and told her she could go home and was happy when she chose to stay, how he waited until everything was over to let her know how he felt, how he DIDNT DRINK on the night he wanted to make love to her, OUOTUOROUGUOUROHGH IM TELLING YOU HIS ROUTE WAS TOP TIER. but the thing that stood out to me the most was how him and mc worked together to save amon, and furthermore, to uphold kyle's principles. it was so heartwarming when mc told him to stick to what he believed in (even if i wanted to punch amon's teeth out during that scene)

i would keep talking about kyle's route but i have to move!! on!! because harr's route was peak domesticity. the first time he took his mask off in front of mc is one of my favorite moments (i actually did a happy little dance when i saw the other half of his face ehhe) because it shows such beautiful trust in her and arghgougohugo INSANE.

the most memorable moment of edgar's route was absolutely when he was so hesitant to let alice hold his hands, but when she takes them so comments on how warm they are. it was such an emotional moment because edgar was definitely feeling very complicated but alice was still there for him. i love them together :((

( honorable mention to vio saying i was alice reincarnated when i talked about that scene were they were all calling sweets evil LMAO that made me very giddy ^^ )

( second honorable mention to edgar asking mc if she thought pickles were a wolf in sheep's clothing??? weirdo. )

i was intrigued by zero all the way back in harr's route, and i started to really like him during edgar's route when he was trying his best to protect mc, which was really sweet. absoLUTELY the most memorable moment in his route was when he was fighting against the magic tower and he emerges from the rubble with an injured arm and a smile, just to tell alice "i'm home." i was crying like a BABY. zero i love you. please marry me.

jonah's route is a classic and a fan favorite, and i can see why. he starts out being arrogant and hell (and its irritating tbh) BUT he melts so quickly under gentle love and care. anyways, the red army routes seem to have a theme of giving up your position for what you believe is right because it happened like three times okay!! and jonah became a "traitor" to the red army just to protect alice. it was him and her against cradle and i will NEVER forget that.

lancelot's first impression was really bad but after playing all the red army routes and finally, his own route, i've grown to like him a lot. what really sticks out to me about his route is when he takes mc away from the dance floor because they're being stared at and they have a heart to heart. he tells you a single white rose would suit her or smth along those lines and when i looked up the meaning and saw it meant hope and renewal i DIED.

i started playing on july 27th, 2023!!

IKEMEN SENGOKU!!

my first route for sengoku was mitsunari, then kenshin, then kennyo, then sasuke, then kanetsugu, then yoshimoto. the only routes that didn't bore me to death at the end were mitsunari's, kennyo's (i was actually shocked when the route ended, it felt like the perfect length to me), and sasuke's. i can't speak for yoshimoto though since i just started. i feel like ikesen has a tendency to reallyyyy stretch out the routes but maybe thats just me.

a memorable thing about each suitor i played this year:

mitsunari was such a good first route for me, and the most memorable part of his route was definitely when he challenged nobunaga for mc. not only was it unexpected but i was so proud of him for betting so much on his plan AHGRHGG mitsunari my beloved.

kenshin's route was crazy but EASILY the best part was when mc rode into battle with an army of her own to stop kenshin from FLATTENING the country. she kicked ASS and earned the title "goddess of war" for what she did and that was so cool of her.

i played kennyo's route because of the parallels between him and kenshin and WOW i did not regret it. his route was phenomenal but the most memorable part was when mc and him buried the bell that kennyo had kept with him to remind him of all the lives he felt he was at fault for losing. it symbolized finally letting those people have their peace, and furthermore, kennyo's inner peace. it was beautiful.

sasuke really got me when he THREW himself into battle with kenshin after kenshin lied about him and mc liking each other. sasuke's desperation to let her know that he couldn't stand her being with someone else made my heart RACE. it was so nice to see a suitor finally being on the more "selfish" side.

kanetsugu's route had the Wonderful experience of mc carrying a head!! a decapitated head!! and while i'm sure he has a lot of cute moments (one of them being when he told mc he loved her and she FREAKED OUT) I CANNOT GET OVER MC PICKING UP A DECAPITATED HEAD LIKE ITS NOTHING!!! shes a trooper.

yoshimoto's route gives you the unique (and memorable!!) experience of a warlord actually viewing you as a friend instead of an enemy!! (keep in mind this is coming from someone who has only played ONE oda forces route. im constantly on the "enemy side" oops) i thought his mindset was very refreshing after months of "oh nooo we cant see each other we're enemiesssss"

i started playing on july 27th, 2023!!

this took me so long to write oh my goodness. it was fun though!! im thinking about how all of this information is only five months worth of playing so i dont know how im going to handle TWELVE MONTHS PLUS A NEW GAME but i'll figure it out. i might leave the fandom before then idk!! who knows!! but anyways thank you if you read my thoughts i love sharing them even though i know its a lot hehehe

[delusionally-loveless-by-choice]

Hi could you do something about desire where the reader stayed a sleep while morpheus was imprisoned then desire invaded the readers dream and they fell in love similar to what happened to unity in the show I’m curious to how life with desire really was while she slept

Omg thats actually a really good like idea. Im sorry ive never written for Desire but ill try my hardest to get them down! Also im going to use they/them pronouns for reader and any pronouns for Desire because im use its gender neutral and Desire its extremely gender-ambiguous (and also its implied in a way by the man himself , creator of the Sandman) ALSO IM SORRY I TRY MY BEST TO KEEP READER VERY UP TO INTERPRETATION BUT FOR THE SAKE OF PLOT I WILL BE MAKING READER A

The days had been long recently, it was getting harder to find a reason to get up in the morning.

However that’s not exactly how it felt like today.

When you awoke it felt, different and difficult to “wake up” from your sleep. It almost felt too easy! It was almost like you missed the struggle of getting up every morning, it had become habit and to stray from something done habitually felt almost like a sin.

You brushed the weird morning feeling off and went on with your day. Getting ready to go make something of your routine.

Everything seemed wonderful. This morning had been one of the best you’d had, it felt like a dream.

The sales were high at the fragrance store you work at. The boring side of your work seemed to breeze on by, and every other moment felt fun.

The day ended, which meant you’d have to lock up. On your walk home you began to feel a chill. As if someone was watching you. Taking a look at your surroundings you caught sight of no one, but did see the last of a shining gold light. Probably nothing.

Tonight you ended the day happily, but you knew life isn’t always as dreamy as today. Tomorrow your luck would run out and you’d be back to your normalcy, probably spilling coffee or breaking a glass.

And with that last thought you closed your eyes and slept.

You awoke the same, and much to your surprise the entire week felt the same . It all went according to how you wanted it, well for the most part. Life began to feel more real, less dreamy but still very much in your favor.

Today while at work, the doors bell dinged , but it sounded more like a beautiful chime. Something to make you look up, and you did.

Your eyes were rewarded by the most beautiful being you’d ever seen. Skin bright and clear of any imperfections, lips bright red and lifted into a playful one sided lazy smirk, their eyes were golden and lit up when they made contact with you.

You were left breathless, and all you were left to try and say was the ghost of “How can I help you?”

As they stepped closer to you, their smile evened out and they let out a light chuckle.

God you just knew they would have a beautiful voice.

“Why hello, I’m looking for a perfume fragrance. However I fear what I’m looking for might be a bit too, specific.”

After gathering your wide open jaw, you response “No worry! Here at this fragrance perfume shop we actually specialize in making special orders thanks to the owner having a fascination with the alchemy of it.”

After the beautiful stranger gives their descriptions of what fragrance theyre looking for they look back at you, “Your service is greatly under appreciated,” they look at your name tag and almost pur out your name. It sends shivers to your skin, even their voice was beautiful.

“Your product is expected to be ready in two weeks, however we do require you to come back for fragrance testing.” You begin to write down a “schedule” for those testing days in between the estimated time the fragrance is supposed to be finished and ready to sell to them. You slide this note to them at the counter and look back at them. “We do this for the sake of making a perfumé that is to your exact desire.” As the word left your mouth you saw a slight shift in their eyes. It was something akin to when someone calls your name.

“I look forward to those fragrance tests, till then.” Then swiftly and confidently take their leave. There was something powerful about their presence, you absolutely loved it.

After they left you were just standing in awe from this small and quite simple interaction. It wasn’t until the door bell chimed and another customer came into just wander around the already set perfumes that you were back to the now, and it was now that you realized you never got their name! You scramble for their small application they filled for their perfume, in hopes they wrote their name. It wasnt too important but it was something that was necessary for paperwork, ypu were mostly in a hurry because something inside of you wanted to know their name.

You found the paper and at the bottom it was signed.

Des.

A nickname you assumed, but it was still beautiful as them.

AHHH IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG . I DO PLAN TO MAKE ANOTHER PART AND IT WONT BE TOO MANY OARTS MAYBE ONE OR TWO MORE SO DW. Please lemme know if you liked it or any other feedback!! <3

[shopcat]

bear with me for a sec let’s leave the inconsistent writing room aside and take it all in. kinda crazy to Me that steve in s1 is just regular douchy (at least for time period?) . he said a slur without putting his heart into it he liked a girl and lashed out and went to apologize and his friends are also douchy because hes handsome and lives in a big house and his parents are also douchy. BUT THEN in s2 steve is revealed to apparently be “king steve”?? like yeah u could say billy is exaggerating for the drama but like. s2 says steve wasnt just regular douchy he was Popular and Liked and everything. king steve. and s3 has him so completely removed from that in his striking out with girls and being friends with kids behaviour but robin is like yeah i had so much angst about you because the girl i liked liked You. and it’s like yeah he was king steve and girls liked him and he was regular douchy but also apparently what was most annoying about him to robin was the way he ate bagels in the morning. and s4 steve interacts with eddie and eddie says it blows my mind that youre an actual good dude. and he jumped him with a bottle but as a reflex and let go of him and jumped after him in a lake and wasn’t even mean to him the whole time. like robin was arguably meaner than him when he was clearly more of a target for the Jocks. and even then she wasn’t even mean to him either. like that’s crazy a little bit that he’s like a douchy dude but he just liked his girl but also actually hes The douchy dude but they dont actually ever mention anything douchy hes done that’s worse than what he did on screen. and the whole time he’s just a little bitchy as a treat. as a character trait. it’s like the writers keep adding stuff to his character season after season which yeah thats how character works in media but instead of unlayering an onion it’s like they’re adding rooms to a house. without ever entering the house btw tangent line but it’s so funny to Me a little bit that we’ve never even seen steve’s parents or heard their voices or anything like do we even know their names. like for all we know they’re both redheads and tall and wear glasses or whatever. that’s crazy. and like i may not remember everything that’s ever been said or shown on screen so all of what ive just said might be incorrect but like !!! still. this is so funny steve was Ultimate Mean Girl of high school hierarchy and he just Ate Bagels and Vandalized A Theater Then Lost A Fight that one time. what’s wrong with him !!!! i love him.

i think one time i said he was so popular bc he looks so much like a little dog with big brown eyes and everyone's just like Awwww ... Steve... and lets him get away with murder for it but the murder ends up being like throwing something at the garbage can and it doesn't make it in and so he doesn't pick it up and that's a metaphor. no it isn't.

i do think this is just a natural byproduct of them admitting they have no idea what to do with steve so they just keep adding and adding to this character they're building that's somehow seperate from the one we've actually seen ourselves and they do have this habit of trying to establish things through ... someone just SAYING it alone as if that at the end of the day amounts to anything. like how we're supposed to just be like eddie and dustin are sooo close because they Said So but we never actually SEE that and it ends up falling a little flat if you don't have this like pre-established fondness and leniency for the character which you shouldn't probably have to have... in a tv show... Show Don't Tell and all.

and honestly at this point i just find it funny that robin hated him for petty reasons and decided to tell him when they thought they were gonna die and eddie thought he was a douchebag from a distance or something after sharing one whole school year with him. i think it might be accidentally realistic to depict these silly highschool dramas of GOD you SUCKED so much because you got food everywhere and hung out with annoying people, because in highschool everything is amped up to 300 like that!! but the thing is they're not IN highschool or at least HE'S not in highschool they're not shithead teenagers anymore they should be moving on from this but it's like a stuck record atp. the gap between hs/graduating/being a teenager -> getting a job/college prospects ig and becoming a young adult and independent is one of the most difficult times of someone's LIFE and it's like they're TRYING to show this with steve but keep failing bc they're not actually going for "20 year old trying to find his place in the world" they're going for "peaked in highschool ex-popular jock boy who keeps #failing and is getting a #reality check" and it ends up coming off like. i don't know. ill formed i guess. he is being constantly punished for a past so heinous such as "was sort of mean with two significant spikes in meanness that he immediately apologised for, got comeuppance for in the form of getting his shit rocked and has spent at this point years apologising to random bystanders for" but now he's atoning for the act of just Being a teenager and will do so for the next 5 years of his life for some reason because all the complexity they give him is entirely accidental on their part and they don't know how to live up to it </3 in season 5 someone's going to come up to him and be like "you know... my daughter saw your little stunt at the movie theatre... she's traumatised now. you're fine now but you were a real DOUCHEBAG!!!" and he'll have to be like :( i'm sorry sir :(

like they're trying to show genuine grounded reactions that someone would have to hanging with someone who's not who you thought they were and realising they're actually their own complex individuals beyond their reputation whatever it may be and i see it i get it i'm clocking in to it but at this point we have had 3 entire seasons of people coming to the Stunning Realisation that he is not a massive douchebag anymore over and over again and it is ended up sort of tired. the steve harrington apology tour will never end </3. and once again i find it disappointing that the show that celebrates a certain kind of diversity of individual expression and passion that is what you are ostracised for does not mean you are condemned for and that like it's cool to be a nerd and an outcast and not fit in for whatever reason but then with steve they're just like. oh no he sucked and will be punished for it forever actually and also he's dumb and that's funny because he deserves to be made fun of Nerds can't be bullies no way!!!!

[queenofgraveyards]

hiii grace how are you bby?

good newssss im all updated on bambi!!!!!!!!!!!!! great news ive now started ataraxia!!!!!

i love them so much like it’s just so refreshing reading about their lives and everyday drama. idk if ive been on an accidental reading loop of sad books but i feel like ive been desensitized to cute simple stories yk like nothing hits anymore unless a billion of things happen at once. and this might sound weird or exaggerated but i truly think that bambi has been helping in that aspect because it’s just sooo good and normal and simple and chill and soothing fr a breath of fresh air.

and your writing omfg i swear im a hater of 1st person pov first human second but somehow my brain excludes your stories from all that hate cause, again, youre lovely af!

i also think ive read (on a comment maybe?) that you’ve got angsty plans for them and while i cant wait for the drama and jealousy and lack of communication and sad girl hours i dont think ill be able to handle a sad ending please please please let them love and be loved by each other. they deserve themselves so much!!! i

t’s currently 2am here in rio and i just finished bambi so im not entirely done with my comments but i just couldnt go to sleep without thanking you again for sharing another story with us. you do it all for free and it’s unbelievable to me how much time, effort and thought you put in for us for funsies. im not usually an assiduous commentator (?) on wattpad but im trying i swear

thank you thank you thank youuu ily g 🫀

-🥡xxxxxxx

HIIIIIII BESTIE🩵🩵

I read ur message whilst stuck in traffic n it really made me smile so thank u 🩵 im so happy you’re all caught up with bambi AND ataraxia!! i’m shocking myself with how well i’m doing with writing n updating and not burning out soooo this will have been the kiss of death heHAW

oh i get it 100% !! sometimes u get stuck in a sad loop I’m like that with my daydreams n tv shows and reading actually so I totally get it but im glad bambi are helping 🥺 it actually blows my fuckin mind that my writing would be ANYTHING but horrific and chaotic

omg ur a 1st person hater?! Could never be me bestie 😌, but also thank you for saying that bambi is ur exception 🥺 do u know how much all your kind words mean to me?! and yeah it’ll either be a comment or something on but I have ideas for angsty unhappy times bc what is a story WITHOUT the middle dramaz and hey you know I do love the drama and ivy n bambi h are just a little bit too happy rn it’s suspicious 🤨 but I can say hand on heart ataraxia will end happy!! i have no sad ending plans for this sequel and I love them as a couple sooooo much so please don’t worry 🩵

omg 2am!! GO TO SLEEP!! it’s okay that you’re not a big commenter, a lot of people aren’t and I get it, I’m not either but I demand it from my readers bc I’m a hypocrite 🩵 even if u just comment ONCE on a chapter that’s enough for me as long as you’re enjoying it and coming back for more every time I update 😌

love you lots and lots and lots 🩵🩵🩵🩵

[sinkableruby]

What are your thoughts on each Monogatari season?

ok this will end up long... (like really fucking long holy shit lol) im gonna go from first - monster season (which is the light novels), so only read up to where youve seen. mostly only vague discussion of spoilers but still. ill put the individual parts of each season too for reference, in the order i watched and try to go over them briefly since i feel like you cant talk about the whole of the seasons without touching on the parts

first (kizu, bake, nise, neko black) - the kizu movies are so good!!!!!! i like them more and more as time goes on theyre like a fine wine. captures the vibe of a sort of proto-monogatari monogatari very well. it might just b because i watched it in this order but this is honestly my recommended order to watch the series. idk maybe you lose something from not seeing how mysterious shinobu is in bake and then getting the big reveal. bake - nice and airtight. very cool and classic vibes here, very nostalgic. cool introductions to all these cool fun characters while also giving them arcs that are resolved except nadekos but yeah. and of course this one has the very unique art direction thats super cool nise - just had a post about this so go look at that if you want my thoughts. drops a big theme that keeps getting developed which is the kinda important thing u gotta be doing during a season called the "first season" lol neko black - ehhh i think this is one of the worst ones of the anime entries. its not bad. i like the op a lot overall extremely nostalgic and very high quality, especially with kizu and nise in my mind. a bit of a bump with neko black but a very strong start in general. the first season offers much room for the themes and characters to grow but also stands well on its own. so it does its job well. (also note im not gonna be talkin about like the ost too much here just bc. i love all of it so much. its exclusively good.)

second season (neko white, kabuki, otori, oni, koi, hana) - season full of bangers lets go! neko white is the wonderful resolution to the buildup of hanekawa's character we'd been getting since the first season. very good kabuki is interesting... but definitely not the strongest entry here otorimonogatari is what originally hooked me once and for all on the series, for reasons ive explained before so i wont get into that too much here. but god do i love it to death. whew its good oni could hit much harder than it does but it doesnt. rip. still not what id call bad but eh koi is fuckin awesome. kaiki and nadeko... i'd talk more at length about certain parts i like but im writing this backwards from the later seasons to the earlier ones and i talked way too much about the later ones so im trying to conserve space here. i might talk about it more later or if someone asks me abt it hana i have talked about a bit before too but i love hana hanas great. so then all in all it's like 4 bangers. a great development of the characters we know and love and one that is so well written and just done in the best ways... i loved where this season took everyone. i think the non chronological stuff can be a hit or miss for ppl but i honestly really like it, especially on rewatches. when you think about it the order never feels pointless. even tho hana is chronologically after all the other anime arcs its still not at all something i would say you should watch after zoku lmao. the season does well as a continuation and development but not a conclusion to the series, and thus spendidly fits the role of "second" season.

final season (tsuki, owari part 1, koyomi, owari ge, zoku) - there are ups and downs to this season, but the ups far, FAR outweigh the downs. owari part one... its really good. i think shinobu mail (thats what its called right?) is like kind of slow at first, and i definitely wasnt SUPER invested in it on my first watch, but i think on a rewatch after you get past the first like episode or two it really starts to pick up and shine. that is not why i like it though ougi formula to sodachi lost is incredibly fucking good all the way through, some of the strongest entries in the series by far. i might do like a ranking of each part sometimes and those are definitely going in s tier when i do (even nisioisin said his favorite anime part was ougi formula in an interview although that might just be because he loves mysteries lol). hooooghhh those three arcs,, sodachis story is revealed and developed very wonderfully and impactfully and you kinda love her right from her return to the school where she screams at araragi. and of course, of COURSE ougi is the absolute goat in these arcs, revealing the mystery in the engaging and entertaining way she tends to while also being an incredible point of intrigue herself in her whole enigmatic shtick. and of course, if you know you know, but that doesnt make it any less enjoyable on rewatches ougi is just that entertaining of a character. not to mention her showdown with hanekawa... its so entertaining to see these two battle so passive aggressively or just plain aggressively. and the way it ends up is not surprising but it IS hilarious. and then the convo with sodachi in her apartment... heartwrenching, incredible. all of its very very good. probably some of the most fun ive had watching anime, these three arcs grab you and youre just along for the ride the whole time. i'd love to talk about it more in depth some other time probably FUCK that was just owari part one too koyomi we can go through quickly though. its just like a sorta reminder of where each character started and ended up, as well as giving a few details to set up owari ge. nothing special or bad. i love the ED tho oh fuck are you gonna make me scream about owari ge... this post is already way too long fuck... uhh basically mayoi hell + hitagi rendevous are great in and of themselves and are also wonderful buildups to ougi dark and the conclusion of the series. its so fun how it sneaks up on you that yes, ougi is the main antagonist (at least from second season - final). ougi dark................. ougi dark..... ougi dark. yeah ill save this for a different post. um, one billion out of ten? i literally think about it every day thats not a joke so i dont think i can talk about it here without running out of space (do posts have word limits?? whatever its too long already anyway) overall a very tight and absolutely wonderful conclusion to the series. in my mind this is like the "actual ending" and the light novels and other stuff that comes after is like bonus epilogue stuff (not that its not canon its just that ougi dark is too solid of an ending. its TOO good do you understand)

and now time for the light novels

off season - i think in general this season is pretty strong. i was pretty invested in how it was really taking the time to give characters other than araragi the focus, at least until musubi. but even in musubi its sort of like a "where are they now?" so we get lots of details about all the characters. although i think in musubi its a little hard to read bc we also get all these new characters that we dont necessarily care about (esp since its very much like a one-off thing), but i dont mind it that much because thats not what i like it for... the cool part is seeing the characters we love and where theyve ended up and where theyre going. like the part in (i think) mitome wolf? where hanekawa and araragi have drifted super far apart... wonderfully bittersweet. and i have a separate post about this but seeing ougi free and unable to be bothered in their new life? chefs kiss wonderful love it. so i think even though musubi breaks the format of taking a break from araragi, its still good enough to not bring down off season really. and on that note i honestly wish monster season would be more like off season. i dont really want to see stinky araragi's pov anymore! i think he should take way more of a backseat and instead make more guest appearances in other people's stories, like he did at the end of hanamonogatari. not that i dont like him (its a hate love relationship) but i think honestly hes really interesting in hana where we see kanbaru's view of him instead of his view of everyone else as usual. i love so much how the monogatari series Feels Different in different people's perspectives so i want to switch it up more!! of course he is the main character so i dont think this will happen but like. i'd much rather get kanbaru's misadventures with ougi than araragi's college misadventures. and of course i cant talk about off season without talking about nademonogatari. nademonogatari is SO FUCKING GOOD holy shit... i think i speak for a lot of people when i say nadeko is by far the strongest narrator in the series due to her arc's progression and her character development-- and even before it too, cuz otorimonogatari's narration was also really unique and engaging. it helps that she's my second fav but i think nademonogatari is generally well liked? and for very good reason. which is also why...

monster season - haven't finished these season still have to read ougi fright/flight and the next installment but yeah i feel a lil disappointed in this season because again... too much araragi. get this dirty stinky man outta my face. again i love and hate the guy but cmon let's be real... his peak was in owari ge and zoku and at the end of hana. i really dont feel the need to see more of him. of course the stories themselves are interesting and i like nisioisin's writing but i just find the stuff thats not narrated by him such a breath of fresh air... i really want to see more nadeko and kanbaru narration. i hope nisioisin, if he keeps on trucking through the series, will start putting more real focus on these two. or even like. just anyone else. give us ononoki again give us sodachi again. i want to see the other characters journeys!!!! we keep getting small little nadeko chapters like with mayoi snake and yotsugi shadow and like... those were awesome i loved those! more of that but longer please nisioisin!!! i feel like raising up kanbaru or nadeko more to the status of "mains" would be honestly really refreshing and a much better, less like.... stagnating? direction to take the series in ummmmm also nisioisin isnt writing about ougi enough ://// like... hellooo? ougi pov chapter when?? itd be the most fun thing ever nisioisin???? hello??????? hes so insistent on not writing them i swear he wants to relegate them to a side character spooky appearance every once in a while and thats cool but like im starving here dude cmon... even in the book named after them they dont get a pov chapter and only appear as a side character.... wtf........................... like thats so fucked up.................................................. especially since the parts where they acc were there were rly good :( but basically araragi stinky i want to cleanse my nose palette please PLEASE nisioisin throw him in the trash for a long while longer im begging you it'd be so much more interesting if you just let him become a side character his days in the sun should be OVER