#i might have an idea for a third set but we'll see

[andorerso]

rebelcaptain + celebrities au: actors

Jyn Erso, legendary scream queen and final girl. Cassian Andor, broody anti-hero and tortured male lead.

Both of them are tired of being typecasted, seeking a different role, a new experience, a way to broaden their portfolio and expand their career. Sure, a romantic comedy might not have been what either had in mind, but the script is original, the characters feel real, and the director, Chirrut Imwe, is a great friend of them both.

The only problem they have is... each other.  Although their chemistry on-screen is off the charts, they couldn’t clash more off-screen. A series of misunderstandings, hastily drawn conclusions, and sheer stubbornness make sure of that. It’s official, Jyn Erso and Cassian Andor loathe each other.

With filming and the press tour still ahead of them, things aren’t looking rosy. But they’re both professionals and they’re not going to let their stupid feud stop them from finishing this movie. The crew just best pray they don’t end up murdering each other on set.

After all, what does a scream queen and a two times Emmy winner really have in common?

[wraithlafitte]

even it up

pairing: dean winchester x f!reader

CONTENT: violence (hunting), graphic descriptions of injuries and repairing them, SMUT, unprotected piv, dean might have a pain kink (or a competency kink), praise (m!receiving), blowjob, riding, (reckless) choking, edging (m!receiving), begging, biting, overstimulation

word count: 4.7k

a/n: part 2 to bitchin'. sorry it took so long! i got busy with schoolwork, but the semester's almost up so we'll be back to our regularly scheduled programming soon. thanks for your patience!

Silence filled the rental car as you and Dean drove to the location you'd tracked the missing vampires to. You had woken up tangled together, naked, dried bodily fluids a stark reminder of how far you'd fallen. You hadn't said a word to him all morning, and even Dean was devoid of his usual quips. At least you seemed to agree: last night was a mistake, and shouldn't happen again.

You parked the car in an unmarked, cracked parking lot a few blocks away from the abandoned house. Dean was out the door before you pulled the key from the ignition, rushing to the trunk to grab his weapons. You sighed and went after him, slamming the door behind you.

You stopped to the side of the trunk. "Dean."

"What," came his gruff reply from under the trunk lid. The sparse weeds growing through the pavement were suddenly very interesting.

"We should talk-"

Dean slammed the lid of the trunk, causing you to jump, and tossed you a machete, which you caught easily despite being startled.

"Let's just get the job done," he said, his face hard and unyielding as he made eye contact with you.

You looked away quickly, avoiding his stony gaze. "Fine," you mumbled. Those weeds sure were growing. Kind of how Dean had started to grow on you... persistent, despite the unforgiving terrain.

Shaking your head, you fell into step behind Dean as he started walking down the uneven sidewalk.

Your hands were deft as you picked the lock of the back door to the old, peeling green house. All the windows were boarded up, so you had no idea what was waiting for you directly behind this door, but if there was one thing you could count on, it's that if something did charge you, Dean would chop its head off. Not necessarily because he wanted to save you, but because he liked killing monsters. And you had a feeling that he had some anger he might want to take out on something deserving.

The lock finally clicked and you pushed the door open cautiously. It opened into a dirty mudroom, scattered with shoes and coats of all sizes and styles. Your stomach turned as you realized they must have belonged to victims.

Dean noticed it too. "Let's go," he said grimly and pushed past you into the building, machete held high.

You picked up your own machete from the ground where you had set it to pick the lock and followed Dean. He was quick, peeking past corners before whipping around and advancing down the hallways, pressed flat against the wall. You were less... dramatic about your caution, choosing to let him clear the way.

Dean stopped suddenly and threw an arm back, stopping you in place. For a second, you were distracted by the way his hand pressed back against you, fingers almost curling around your shirt, touching but not quite. A breeze through a broken window sent a wave of his Old Spice scent in your direction that almost overtook you. Then you came to your senses and slapped his hand away.

You peered past him to see what it was. You had come across a bedroom, in which three vampires were snoring away unwittingly. You recognized them from the warehouse.

Dean looked back at you and nodded, creeping into the room. You each went to a side of the bed and made eye contact over the sleeping monsters in front of you.

One, Dean mouthed, raising his blade.

Two, and you followed suit.

Three, and both of you swung. The blood of two vampires splattered the white sheets, and the third leapt up immediately, fangs descending. She stood on the bed, ready to pounce on Dean, when you pulled her legs out from under her. The vamp fell to the mattress, where you unceremoniously chopped off its head.

"Nice move," Dean muttered, wiping his blade and already walking towards the door. "Let's clear the rest of the house."

You checked the remaining rooms on the ground floor, while Dean hurried upstairs. You found nothing in the dilapidated rooms except some mice and rotting wood floors.

A loud pounding and scuffling sounded on the ceiling above you, accompanied by the unmistakable sound of metal hitting the floor. You turned and ran up the stairs two at a time.

Dean was locked in hand-to-hand combat with a vamp on the landing, his machete lying some distance away. Blood trickled down his temple. The ornate bronze candlestick the vampire wielded had a matching red stain.

The vampire hooked his beefy arm around Dean's neck and slammed him face first into the wall, shattering the glass on a picture frame that hung there. You seized the opportunity of having his back to you and rushed up behind him, hacking at his neck. Only his neck was so thick and muscular that your blade barely went through a third of it.

The vamp dropped Dean on the ground and slowly turned on you, your machete still stuck in its neck. Your eyes darted to where Dean's machete had fallen, and you scrambled backwards to pick it up, almost tripping on a rug in the process, but successfully retrieving it anyway. You brandished in front of you as you got backed into a corner, your last line of defense.

It had the audacity to laugh at you. "You think that's gonna work?" he taunted, bearing down on you and shadowing you from the meager sunlight coming through a window in an adjacent room.

In your periphery, you saw Dean rising from the ground, eyes fixed on the weapon stuck in the vampire's neck. You suppressed the urge to glance at him fully as he crept up behind the monster. He took hold of the machete handle and yanked.

It was no good. The vamp whirled on him, socking him in the jaw. You saw your chance. Dean was down for the count and the vampire had its back turned again. You ran up and swung with all your might in the opposite direction. The vamp's head rolled.

Dean looked up at you from the ground where he had fallen, panting hard. “You’re welcome,” he breathed heavily.

“For what? I saved your ass,” you reminded him, holding out a hand to help him up.

“If I hadn’t distracted it, you wouldn’t have been able to get it,” he said while standing, obviously trying to repair his ego.

You rolled your eyes and dropped his hand roughly. “Oh please.” You started down the stairs to head back to the car.

“At least we got them all now,” Dean commented, stomping down the stairs behind you.

You ignored him all the way back to the car and all the way back to the hotel as he continued to try to convince you that you hadn’t done all the work.

The sun was setting by the time you got back to the hotel, all shades of red and orange that reminded you of the blood you had spilled today. It reflected off the Impala, parked in front of the side door of the hotel. And it bathed Dean in a warm golden light that bounced off his freckled skin and made him look like he was glowing.

Ew, what am I thinking, you scolded yourself. He's just sweaty. He's a gross, sweaty man who you hate and never want to be intimate with again. He doesn't look sexy at all right now.

You were brought back to earth as Dean winced heavily while hauling his bag out of your trunk to transfer it to his car. His hand went to his ribs, tenderly feeling around for cracks.

"You should come inside so I can check you out," you said without thinking.

Dean looked at you incredulously. "Yeah, I bet you'd love to check me out, but I gotta go."

You rolled your eyes, feeling a blush creep up your neck. "Not what I meant. You're obviously hurt, let me take a look. I can patch you up better than you can yourself."

He threw his bag into the trunk of the Impala and slammed it shut. "Fine. If you'll let me leave after."

You prepared your first aid kit while Dean stripped off his top layers. You could have just gotten what you needed as you went, but you were preparing yourself for seeing him shirtless again... in the same environment that you'd fucked in last night.

You turned around, heart rate picking up. You were just making yourself nervous more than anything. You'd seen him shirtless thousands of times before. It's fine, it's normal.

And there he was.

Half-naked.

Sweaty.

Groaning.

Dean sat down gingerly on the edge of the bed, trying to look down his side, where deep red bruises were already formed. They were accompanied by a gash on his chest, presumably where the vampire's claws had cut into his skin as it tossed him around.

You kneeled in front of him and began examining his ribs, making sure to be gentle as you ran your fingers over each bone. Goosebumps rose on his flesh in the path of your hands. "Well, good news, nothing's broken."

Dean gave a pained sort of grimace-smile. "Great. So I can leave." He made to get up off the bed, but you held down his thighs.

"Not so fast," you said. "Let me fix up that cut."

"It's fine, really, I can do it myself," he protested. He met your determined gaze and slumped back.

"Fine. Make it quick."

You poured some antiseptic on a gauze pad. "This is gonna sting."

"I know, sweetheart, this ain't my first rodeo," Dean griped.

You gave him an expressionless look like I-am-so-done-with-you and pressed the soaked gauze to the cut. Dean hissed through his teeth, fingers tightening into the blanket beneath him. You wiped away the blood and the grime, revealing how deep the cut was.

"I'm gonna have to close this up," you told him. "It's deeper than I thought." You begin rummaging through the first-aid kit for the suture needle you knew was around somewhere. A hunter's first-aid kit was a little more elaborate than most.

You carefully threaded the needle, tongue poking through your lips, then looked up at him. "Ready?"

Dean's expression hardened and he grabbed the t-shirt he had been wearing, wadded up one end, and shoved it in his mouth.

Your brow furrowed in concentration as you wove the needle through his delicate skin, meticulously joining the two sides. You worked as quickly and as steadily as you could, painstakingly making sure to sew him up in a way that wouldn't scar too much. Dean did his best to keep quiet, occasionally grunting in pain, his face scrunching up around the shirt in his mouth.

You reached the end of the cut and adeptly tied off the thread, snipping the loose end off. Dean spat the chunk of t-shirt out of his mouth and tossed it to the side.

You made eye contact for a moment as you covered the wound site with a bandage, then Dean shifted his eyes to the side. "Thanks," he said after a minute.

"You sure you want to go? Why don't you rest one more night before getting on the road?" you asked softly, placing your hand on his knee soothingly. His leg twitched under your hand.

"I should go...." Dean protested half-heartedly, not making any move to get up. Did he want to stay?

"Got somewhere to be, Winchester?" you teased. Testing your theory, you rubbed his thigh a couple times. His eyes fluttered half-closed and he looked at you darkly through his lashes.

"Don't," he murmured, uncharacteristically non-combative. His hand crept around your wrist, holding your hand on his leg.

You looked up at him from your place between his legs. "You say one thing, but do another," you said softly. "What do you want, Dean?"

Dean bit his lip and let go of your hand, clasping his together in his lap and dropping his gaze to them. You waited a beat, then grabbed his hands, pulling them to your chest.

"Look at me, Dean," you commanded. His eyes flew up in surprise. "Tell me what you want."

His expression changed from surprised to irritated to aroused. He grabbed you by the shoulders.

"You."

You grinned and stood up to clamber onto him, leaning down to capture his lips in a kiss, Dean's hands ghosting across your back and legs, helping you into his lap. You wrapped your arms around his neck, holding him as close as possible as you made out and rolled your hips down onto his hardening cock.

Dean groaned and broke away. "Let me fuck you," he rasped, pupils blown.

A lovely mischievous idea occurred to you. You pouted. "You'll hurt yourself. Let me take care of you." You slid off his lap onto the floor and turned away, pulling your own shirt over your head. "Get comfortable on the bed."

In the fake gold plated mirror on the wall, you saw Dean look you up and down hungrily. Then he quickly stripped the rest of his clothes off and sat against the headboard. You slowly lowered your jeans, then your panties, being as teasing as possible, knowing he was watching.

"Come here," he barked finally. You turned to face him, bra still covering your breasts.

"So demanding," you breathed, but went to him anyway. You sat down on his thighs and looped your arms around his neck again, pulling him in for a kiss, which he swerved in favor of mouthing kisses into your neck and jaw. You moaned a little as he paid attention to a sensitive vein. Your hips almost involuntarily rolled forward, meeting his lower stomach.

His hands, which had just been resting on your thighs, squeezed harshly into the supple flesh of your hips. You yelped as he dug his fingers into the bruises he had left the day before.

"You said you would take care of me," Dean said snarkily, staring pointedly at his cock between you. You smirked and wrapped your hand around its base, admiring the reddening tip. You slowly squeezed your hand up from the base to the tip, and were rewarded with a thick drop of precum leaking out and dripping down the side. Dean huffed, a dark flush spreading across his neck and chest.

You scooted down his legs until your face was level with his crotch. Making teasing eye contact with him, you slowly stuck out your tongue and licked his cock from his balls up, flicking off the tip. Dean growled, his skin and gaze fiery.

"Quit'cher teasing," he slurred, tilting his head back to knock against the headboard.

You found significant pleasure in weakening him, and although you'd have liked to keep teasing him, you wanted to make him come undone. So you took his cock into your mouth, sucking gently on the fat head, savoring the salty taste of him.

"Fuck," Dean whispered, head still back, eyes closed. You swirled your tongue around a few times, then started lowering your head, taking him further and further into your mouth. He reached for your head but you caught his hand and held it down to the bed.

You raised your head, letting his cock fall from your mouth, a string of drool still connecting the two. "Trust me," you said, raising your eyebrow.

"I don't trust you as far as I can throw you," he groaned.

"Don't make me tie you down," you warned. "I will."

"I'd like to see you try- ngh!" You squeezed the base of his cock tightly and watched as it turned red and Dean squirmed beneath you, mouth agape and panting. He truly was a beautiful, lewd sight.

"Mind your stitches," you reminded him gently. "Lie still." You loosened your hold on his cock and began sliding your hand along it languidly.

Dean visibly relaxed, eyes fluttering open. You lowered your mouth back onto his cock, taking him all the way to the back of your throat and swallowing around him. Your eyes watered and stung, but the groan he let out was worth it. You repeated the process a couple more times, then pulled off and looked up at him. He regarded you darkly and lustfully as you grabbed his hand and brought it to the side of your face, allowing him to lace his fingers through your hair and grab a handful.

A handhold.

You nodded slightly and dropped your jaw, mouth waiting above his heavy cock. Dean's mouth slowly grew into a grin.

"Want me to fuck your face, huh? Guess that's one way you can help me out." He shoved your head down onto him. You gagged as his tip hit the back of your throat. "Fucking slut, letting a guy fuck your mouth just 'cuz you feel sorry for him." He began bobbing your head up and down. His grip on your hair made your scalp tingle.

You made a little moan of protest. It turned into the most obscene gurgling, gagging sound as he continued to use you like a human fleshlight.

You gripped his wrist and tugged his hand out of your hair so you could pull off of his cock. You looked at him through narrowed eyes. "I will stop."

"Yeah, right," Dean scoffed, out of breath. "You practically threw yourself on me."

You smirked, moving up to straddle him, and pinned his hand to the headboard. "I think you'll find that, both times, it was the other way around."

Before Dean knew what was happening, you ambushed him with a handcuff snapping around his wrist, the other side looped haphazardly on the bedpost. It didn't matter that it wasn't secure. He didn't have enough leverage to lift it over the tall post and free himself.

While he snarled, distracted, you trapped his other wrist in the same way. You smiled down at him sweetly when his angry face turned to you.

"I did warn you," you said, grinding down on his lap. "But I guess I should've known better than to give you any control. It was always going to come to this, wasn't it?"

"You bitch," Dean said through gritted teeth, straining forward against his restraints.

You leaned forward and pressed your lips to his neck, his jaw, his earlobe. "Just say the word if it's too much."

You felt him relax underneath you, then he nipped at your ear. "How weak do you think I am? Do your worst," he sneered.

You rose above him, triumphant. "Oh, I will, baby." You ground your wet core against his cock, still slick with your spit. He ground his teeth more, trying not to react. You threaded your fingers through his hair and tugged gently.

And oh, how beautiful it was that he let his head loll back, giving himself into your control, eyes fluttering shut. Then he seemed to snap to his senses and he opened his eyes, muttering, "Just ride me already."

"Patience," you whispered, and began kissing him. You kissed down his neck, across his chest (avoiding the stitches), down his stomach through the soft hairs that led back down to his pretty cock, laying on his stomach and leaving droplets of precum like dew in the hairs.

You blew softly across his length as you considered the best way to make him unravel for you. He let out a low groan, quiet and strained. You smiled to yourself and lowered your mouth back onto his cock, running your tongue lightly along the thick vein that ran up its underside, tracing the life-force that pulsated beneath his skin. He huffed softly in quick succession.

"Breathe," you murmured against his dick, and licked the tip gently, slo-o-owly. Dean made a pretty noise that was halfway a grunt and halfway a breathy sigh, and your pussy fluttered between your legs.

You clambered back up his body, your knees framing his waist as you hovered over him. His eyes were completely clouded by lust, an eager expression taking over his face. You took hold of his cock and lined it up with your body. His breath hitched in anticipation.

You cocked your head, smiling. "What do you say?"

Dean scowled. "Fuck you, I'm not begging."

"Oh, but you already have, Dean." You stroke his cock gently where it waits between your legs. "What's one more word?"

His eyes threatened to close against his will. He gritted his teeth, opened his mouth, closed it, sighed, and spoke. "Please," he whispered.

"Good boy," you praised, sinking down onto his cock slowly. You moaned loudly as you felt him fill you up again. It almost felt better now that you were taking your time with him. Dean moaned softly, arms finally relaxing in his bonds.

Your head dipped down and you kissed him. His mouth was soft and pliant against yours, not fighting, not working to dominate, and you had the fleeting thought that you had tamed him. You didn't know how, but in this moment, he was completely submissive. And you liked it.

You raised yourself up and drew off his cock until just the head remained inside, then slid back down slowly, like you had at first. Dean leaned forward, held back somewhat by the cuffs, to suck and press kisses to your breasts. You ground down on him, pressing his cock as far in as it would go until it ached, and your chest vibrated with Dean's responding groan.

"Please move," he begged hoarsely, hips twitching underneath you.

"Since you asked nicely," you breathed. You began rolling your hips against his steadily, watching as his pleasure flickered through his rugged features. It was a stark contrast to last night, when he had been scowling and making quips the entire time as he fucked you into the mattress. This was almost... loving. Or perhaps you were simply providing him a service. You did agree to take care of him, and maybe that's what he needed.

You reached up and unclasped the handcuff on Dean's left hand, somehow trusting that he would not go anywhere. His eyes flew open and his hand was on you like it was a magnet and your hip was the opposite charge. His hand massaged into the flesh of your hip, making a dull ache arise from the bruises of the previous night.

You looked into his eyes as both your moans filled the air. They were wide and asking, and since his hand was gentle on your body, and he had been on such good behavior, you released his other hand as well.

It was like a switch flipped. His right hand darted to your waist and dug in, the hand on your hip tightening as well as he took control of your movement. You yelped and he began pushing you faster, your thighs screaming with effort as you tried to regain control.

"Dean," you gasped, clawing at his shoulders.

He grinned, slamming your hips down on him until you were forced to fall against his shoulder. "You were too slow," he gasped between heavy breaths, the wind rushing from his lungs each time your hips met his.

You managed to push yourself back up, bracing your forearm against his throat. His gasps turned ragged as you cut off his air. His thrusts slowed as you regained control of him.

"Be good," you said harshly, catching your breath and narrowing your gaze. "Only good boys get what they want." Dean scowled as he realized you were parroting his words from the night before.

"Fuck you," he spat hoarsely, voice barely audible from the pressure on his vocal cords. You cocked an eyebrow and leaned a little heavier on his throat. His cock twitched inside you.

Letting up on his throat just enough that he could breathe, you picked yourself up and began fucking yourself on his cock again, this time fully in control as his hands just clutched at your hips. You swear he went bug-eyed at the renewed friction combined with his light-headedness.

You felt pressure build in your core as you watched Dean's face, red and straining, mouth hanging open as he gasped in a desperate bid for a full breath. All that came from his mouth were raspy moans and heaves. He seemed determined not to beg still. You supposed he had been faking before. That wouldn't do.

"Tell me when you're close, baby," you purred in his ear as you began rubbing your clit, the sensation causing you to clench around him tightly. You readjusted the arm on his throat so he could speak.

"I'm close," you continued. "If I come on your cock, can you take it? Or will it be too much?" You pouted in mock pity. Dean was barely listening, eyes rolled back in his head, mouth moving in something that might have been words, if he wasn't so pussy-drunk and oxygen-deprived.

The look on his face finally pushed you over the edge, and you fell on his mouth hungrily as your pussy spasmed around him, eating up his desperate whines and moans as they fell from his lips.

You didn't stop your pace, overstimulating yourself and building another orgasm while Dean... finally broke.

"Please," he gasped hoarsely into your mouth, teeth clashing against yours as he jerked forward, drawn towards you, needing to be closer and closer and closer. "I'm so close."

You smirked down at him and slowed drastically. He was going to feel everything you were subjected to last night. He whined and buried his face in your chest, hips wiggling in an attempt to thrust into you again. "What do you say?"

"I just did," he growled, scraping his teeth over your skin.

"You didn't," you said cheerily. "You know what you need to tell me."

He let out a drawn-out groan followed by what could be considered somewhat of a sob. "Fuck."

"That's not it," you chastised.

Dean gritted his teeth and looked up at you, meeting your gaze. But he couldn't hold it. "I need to come," he whispered, eyes dropping. "Please make me come."

You resumed your last pace, touching yourself and clenching down on him as your body reacted to the feelings. Dean let out a broken moan as you leaned on his throat again. "Fuck- fuck-" he gasped against your skin, more his mouth just forming the words than speaking, hot and wet and open. His entire body tensed and he stopped breathing for just a moment-

And then he came inside you, shuddering and digging his nails into your hips so tightly you thought you might bleed. You didn't slow until you were following him, wringing every drop from his spent cock as he begged you to slow down in half-human sounds. You didn't slow until you were overstimulating yourself too, and he was straining against your arm, all but crying as his face contorted, all gritted teeth and tense muscles and red cheeks.

At last, you seated yourself fully on him and just stayed there, finally un-obstructing his airway. Dean's hands fell limply to your sides as his chest heaved, panting heavily and looking at you with a glazed expression as his cock jerked weakly inside you.

You made a quick scan of his injuries. Nothing had burst or ripped. He was catching his breath. Satisfied that he was physically okay, you smirked down at him.

"Now we're even," you told him slyly, dragging yourself off of him and laying down beside him.

"Fuck you," he croaked.

You smiled and nipped at his jaw. "Think you better just stay the night, wouldn't want you to drive like this."

Dean hesitated, then decided to take the bait. "Like what?"

"All weak and worn out," you said sympathetically. "Driving tired from a good fucking is the same as driving drunk, you know."

He let out a sharp chuckle. "I don't think that's how the saying goes."

"Really?" you asked sweetly, propping yourself on one elbow to look at him. "Could've sworn it was something like that...." You pretended to think.

"I'll stay," Dean sighed, snaking his arm around you and pulling you into his side. "If you promise we can do this again before checkout."

"I don't know," you said. "We might sleep too long. We might have to take it out to the car."

Dean shivered at the thought of fucking you in his Impala. "I guess that wouldn't be so bad."

[deadpool15]

Roommate Pt2

"Shit, my fucking head is pounding." I woke up, thankfully in my bed for the first time in a while. Looking to the side of me, I noticed the girl from last night that I couldn't remember almost felt bad. But for the first time, I kinda felt something for her, or maybe I didn't feel anything. My feelings have been a bit out of the order, to be honest. I have a habit of confusing feelings with lust. Now, the issue with kicking out a one-night stand is that I can't distinguish feelings and whatever the fuck I'm feeling. Especially with Bada and Howl, they are like older, annoying siblings who won't get off my case. I mean, I love them but it seems like they are fucking up my vibes. Like last time, they literally hastled me as I was walking out the door. I'm trying to meet the new guy.

This isn't the first time it has happened, but I guess it didn't occur to me that they were on the bitter side about my dates, but I thought that was just Badas' impression of my weirdly interest in stupid fucking people, because I mean the smaller the brain the better the sex. Then Howl came along, and it was fine for a while until he started acting like Bada as well. It was weird. "Why the fuck is Bada's man on my case like my older brother." I get out of bed realizing in the hour long I've taken to figure out my thoughts, the girl had left. "She was cute. I'll give her that. Hey, maybe I do like her." I statt walking towards my bathroom to take a shower. More time to think to myself yay. But maybe I was just overthinking everything, I mean, they must see me as a little sister. Yea, that would make sense, with me being younger than them in a foreign country, might I add.

"Yea, I know they are simply trying to protect me and probably think I should slow down with all the blind dates and stuff, but I'm not a little girl. They need to chill." As I finish washing myself, I step out the shower, wondering what Bada is cooking. I can smell food, just can't tell what it is exactly.

Meanwhile

"We have to tell her tonight, we can set up a dinner at a nice fancy restaurant and talk to her. Like slowly get it out, I mean, it shouldn't be hard, I heard America is pretty cool or just open about that stuff." Badas says as she finished making the American style breakfast that Mika loved. "I mean yea, America is more open about these kinds of situations, but we can't just tell her out like that, Bada." Howl states kind of arguing with Bada to make it be known that there was no going back after this. "Baby, look at me, I know, ok. I know this is a difficult situation but we have to do this together. This is something we have to do together, we have to get our girl baby this is our only chance." Howl smiles at Bada, pulling her close before whispering the words i love you in her eyes. They stand there in silence falling between the two, agreeing on their plan of getting their third piece of their heart.

Hours had passed since that close kept moment between the two. They arrived at the restaurant, and at first, they thought to keep the meeting causal until they realized maybe the beautiful atmosphere of a happy place with amazing food would soften the fact that the two people she has been basically living with were in love with her. "Reservation for Ms. Lee", they stopped checking their appearance for the 17th time of what it feels like tonight. They smile at the waiter while following him towards the table. "See, everything is going just fine. It's gonna be perfect. She will show up soon and we'll finally have our girlfriend. Game time, baby."

After about 10 minutes of sitting there and the waiter constantly coming over, pestering them about having to order something, they start to lose hope. "This was a bad idea," Howl says in despair. Though Bada still has a strong belief that you're going to come, she pulls herself together and tries to get Howl to believe as well. "Baby, I love you, ok. So I say this with all the love I have for you. MAN UP." In that very moment, Bada sees a glimpse of your pink and black hair coming through the door in a rush. Thanking the heavens for giving them another chance.

"I'm so sorry, guys. I got held up with Heaven." Mika states as she drops her coat on the chair and sits down on the opposite side of Bada and Howl. As soon as they both hear the name, leave your beautiful lips, their mouths fill with a hint of distaste. Praying to heaven completely forgetting that happened to be the name of your date or new fling. Bada and Howl had one thing and mind, and that was making sure you forgot that girls name entirely by the end of the night. "I'm here now though, I know it doesn't make up for the fact that I was so late, but I'm really sorry." Bada smiles as Howl seems to be wanting to just get it out already. Seeing this, she grabs his hand firmly, letting him know it will happen. "It's fine. We were just worried, but you're ok. So how about we just order now." You all look at each other, agreeing. Howl helps you with the menu, knowing of course you need no help he just likes to be close to you. Though they both know you'll need help ordering, your social anxiety playing a huge factor in that. Looking at the menu, you finally decided on a simple shrimp pasta. You could never go wrong with a classic. Howl orders a steak with mash and vegetables, and Bada follows along ordering lasagna, one of your favorites just in case.

"So, what did you guys need to talk about so urgently. Hopefully, this isn't about trying to get me to join the academy again. I don't care how much potential you think you see isn't a dancer in me, I promise." Mika says, deciding to start the conversation off with a slight joke to ease the situation. Truth be told, she didn't have the slightest idea why they both wanted to talk with her. No matter how hard she tried to ponder over the thought, it didn't make sense why they were here together. "No, I know you all camera shy and stuff, but you are a good dancer flower." Hearing Bada say that name brought her a sense of comfort, it was a name she had given her when they first met. She claims Mika sparked in the sun like a flower. Smiling at that thought, it does ease the tension, "Good, because all those people in one big room is just like a no for me." Howl sits up making eye contact with bada before deciding they should go to the restroom, getting the message they excuse themselves for a minute. Stepping inside Bada immediately breaks down her strong facade. Howl grabs her in his arms, trying to calm her down. "This is stupid she can never love me. It's so hard, baby. I'm trying to be strong for us, but she doesn't want me, I can tell. I see her with all these tall girls, and I think im like them, so why is it never me." Howl shuts up her crues with a simple kiss, breaking her away from the moment. "Your wrong baby, she will love you just like I love you, ok? You shouldn't be doing this alone. You're right. I need to man up and be their for both of you. Don't ever think for a second you're not enough ok, let's go out there and get our girl."

As they are left in the bathroom taking a moment for themselves, only terrible thoughts are crossing Mika's mind. What had she done that was so difficult to tell. She felt worse for not being able to remember it. She immediately thinks she might have crossed the line. Maybe Bada felt like she was coming onto Howl sneakily. Sure, she thought Howl was hot and mean fuck they both were and would it make her a bad person if she admits she has fantasized about them both a some point. But Bada was her best friend, and she refused to lose a meaningful friendship because she couldn't keep it in her pants. Throughout this meltdown, she is having she doesn't notice Bada and Howl come back from the restroom, nor does she notice she has started crying. Finally catching sight of them, she immediately breaks down. "I'm sorry for whatever I did, I promise I didn't mean to. Bada, you're my best friend, and I tried to hard not to make you feel any way. I even changed habits that I grew up with, like walking around with less clothes and other shit that may piss you off. Howl, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. Please don't kick me out." Hearing this, they both move towards the other side of the table, grabbing her with Howl, setting her on his lap, this of course catches her off guard, but Bada keeps her in place.

"You didn't make anyone uncomfortable flower, I promise. We aren't gonna kick you out, or I'm not." Bada says, rubbing her big cheeks to calm her down while wiping the tears. "We wanted to tell you the truth. We've been in love with you for years now, baby. At first, we thought something was wrong until we both talked it out and realized we both had feelings for you. Then, Bada told me that you had said something about poly relationships at one point, and we realized their was nothing wrong with it." Howl states, turning her around to straddle his lap, rubbing her waist as comfort. "W-wait, what? You love me. The both of you, I thought I was imposing with the constant amount of third wheeling, that's why I've been going on more dates." Mika speaks up confused. How could two of the most beautiful people inside and out love her. "Baby, we love spending time with you. If anything, we were trying to build up the courage to tell you. And now you have us." Bada says, hooking her fingers with yours and Howl. "No more dates, we are all you need." Mika smiles, looking off happy. I Thinking she was getting kicked out or just wrong for liking two people, and it worked out. Bada starts to usher both of her partners out of the restaurant to go home, says they could order in, simple wanting to spend time with each other. They faithfully agree and pile into the car, making their way home.

Stepping out of the car, going into the building, Mika notices that neither one of their new partners can keep their hands to themselves. Though Mika all of a sudden feels shy with all the affection. Howl reaches out for her hand in the elevator and pulls her to him, leaving open-mouthed kisses down her neck. While Bada turns around staring at her with a smile that could only be described as pure lust and desire. "You know, I'm starting to believe that our little flower here, knew we were listening to her fuck other people. Torturing us, weren't you?" She listens to what Bada says completely, forgetting she used to invite people over to her place after her dates. But before she could answer, the elevator stops, opening up indicating they have reached their floor. Bada walks out, going to the front door tapping the code in while Howl grabs Mika, throwing her over his shoulder. Yea, she was truly in for it tonight. Opening the door, they immediately walk into their room, Howl throws her down on the bed. Leaving them both standing in front of her. She had never realized how much taller they were than her. Towering over her, making her feel so small, and yet she doesn't feel afraid if anything, she is excited.

"Bada, right baby. You do like torturing us, don't you? Almost every single night, hearing your sweet, beautiful moans for some random shitty guy and girl you could find. You wanted our attention, didn't you, baby?" Mika nods her head as Howl pushes her down on the bed, working on kissing up her legs, reaching straight for her pussy. Staring at it like it's a prize he had finally won. "Giving this pussy up all the time, that shit ends tonight you her me little girl." It wasn't a question, no it was a demand. That he knew she would follow without a second thought. Peeling her panties down, he catches sight of the little bow on the front, motioning it to Bada how she gets on the bed smiling. "I told you she is our little flower." Bada comes behind your gathering you in her arms as Howl finally takes off your underwear. Pushing your legs up yo have you spread out more for him, with Bada holding you still. You hadn't even realized she had taken off her pants, leaving her just in her Calvin Klein thong and the blouse she chose to wear. You whine at the thought, catching both of their attention. "N-naked, please?" Hearing this, they need no further instructions. With Bada pulling off her shirt and bra, you feel her pulling down your dress, sliding it off, leaving you in nothing. Feeling her bare breasts pressed against your back leaves you moaning. Though Howl takes his time, slowly pulling down his pants and shirt, almost giving a strip tease. "Come on, we can't leave our flower waiting. We had to show her what she was missing." Bada moves her lips down to leaving love bites on you neck while playing with you breast.

Howl forgets about his underwear at the moment, leaving you to gawk at his abs. He watches you stare before diving straight in. Sucking and licking your cunt like it's his last meal. "You taste so good, baby." You push his head further in with your thighs, "f-fuck yes." Bada bites your ear while moaning. You trun your head, realizing she was fingering herself. She looks so fucking hot you can stand it. Howl pushes a finger in why his nose is positioned right on your clit, casuing you to scream out. You start to tap Bada motioning her towards you, "P-please sit on my face," and who is she to deny such a request. Positioning herself to hover over your face, she contemplates if this is the best idea, but she stops thinking when Mika pulls her thighs down, closing them around her head. Sucking on her clit her she moves Badas hips to ride her face, while Howl is jerking himself off still eating Mika out. With Mika's nose mumbling against Bada's clit everytime she moves she is so close to her high. "Fuck... baby I'm gonna cum." Bada yells out loud grabbing the headboard, as Howl feels Mika cuming in his mouth. Bada squirts all over Mika's face never had she felt such a high. Howl and Bada make eye contact, now realizing why all those girls that came into Mika's room screaming.

Howl grabs Bada kissing her while she leans in sucking on his lips, wanting a taste of everything Mika has to offer. Mika dares at them with pure love, wanting more. Bada pushes him down, getting on top of him while pushing him inside. While she is used to the stretch, she knows Mika isn't, and they will have to work her into it. So, Howl starts fingering Mika again, pushing in two fingers at a time overstimulating her. "S-shit....wait." but they pay her pleads no mind, and he grabs her thighs, pushing in another finger moving faster than before. Bada, seeing this, starts moving herself up and down. Dancing we coming into affect when they fuck. All you can hear from the room is skin against skin. "Yes...right there....fuck give it me." Bada says while slamming herself down onto Howl shaft over and over again. She feels the band in her stomach slowly start to snap, knowing she had just come before leaving her sensitivity. Howl notices this and moves his feet to stand on the bed and further slam his hips against her own, causing Bada to clench around him, holding onto his chest. "That's fuck baby. Fuck come all over me." That pushes her over the edge. Leaving her crying and coming on command.

Bada and Howl take a moment to themselves while he is still fingering Mika, even though she had come 2 more times. Howl stops while Bada gets off of him until they hear a phone ring. They ignored it for a moment until it hangs up and rings again. Howl reaches over realizing its Mikas phone, about to put it on, do not disturb. Until he sees the caller ID, "So you haven't cut ties with that heaven girl baby," Mika looks up and him wide-eyed, realizing he told her she would meet up later. Before she can speak, Howl flips her over positioning her on all fours. She feels the heavy weight of his shaft pulsing against her throbbing abused clit. He passes her the phone, and she looks at it. He wouldn't want her to answer it at a time like this, would he? But Bada grabs the phone, answering it while placing it against Mika's ear. She hears Heaven speak up, asking about where she is, wanting to answer quickly so she can end the call until Howl starts to push in. "W-wait...fuck...pleasee. Too..big." Howl stares at her perfectly arched for him. "You can take it, baby. I know you can. Good girls take it nice and well. You're my good girl right". Each word is punctured by an inch until he is fully inside.

"So full." Is all Mika can manage out, causing both Bada and Howl to smile at their precious baby. Heaven after a while goes silent on the phone, yet doesn't hang up. Bada quickly speaks up, while putting pressure on Mika's clit. "Our baby is a bit.. occupied at the moment if you couldn't tell. I would say she could call you back later, but she won't. Don't call this phone again." In the process, Howl starts hammering his hips into Mika's, holding her up feeling on the imprint in her stomach. "Would you look at that baby, I'm all the way up here. Can you feel me in your stomach, can't you? Claimed I wouldn't fit, but look at you. It's like your pussy was made to take me. Made just for us." Howls says while pressing down on your stomach. Bada moves to kiss you sucking on your tongue, leaving you just overwhelmed, never experienced anything like this. Completely cock drunk. "Gonna take good care of you flower, always."

[shankss-magnificent-ass]

Imagine the beast pirates learning you are a criminal mastermind

Kaido: *going over a cargo manifest* we will sell these in Port Chugal, prepare them for shipment.

King: Port Chugal won't buy pirate goods anymore, the world government found out they've been trading with us, so they replaced the king there.

Kaido: That's the third distribution market I've had to change in the last month. First the Bourgeois Kingdom, then Ballywood, and now Port Chugal. How are they finding my warehouses?

Queen: we don't know at the moment, but we're working on it

You: *King's assistant* I would like to point out something that all three have in common.

King: Silence.

Kaido: let em talk, I want to hear what they have to say.

You: they were all common stops on Captain Rondow's transport route, who was captured almost three months ago by the world government.

Kaido: You think the poor bastard broke under torture?

You: It appears so, and from the other reports we're getting I'm guessing they have figured out how you conduct your exportation operation. *Hands King the reports*

King: *Skims them* we spent years building this system.

You: which means building another will be faster this time. I'm guessing how they're locating our goods is by the fact that while it's labeled under a company that doesn't have any paperwork officially filed in countries we claim it's from.

Kaido: what are we supposed to do, get a business permit?

You: yes, but actually no. Now any new businesses from any nations in your territory will come under scrutiny by the world government. So I think we should find any failing, but long-established companies, and bail them out in exchange for slipping our illicit cargo into their product distribution.

King: that... might actually work, but there's no way we can guarantee their loyalty.

You: that's why you give them a small percentage of the profits and gather blackmail material. Most rich people are sick fucks will have skeletons in their closet, you just have to look for it.

Kaido: I'll entrust the task to you, and in the meantime we'll have Yamato fill in for you with King.

King: what! No! Your son is... not great at paperwork.

Kaido: Sorry bud, but I'd like to see what they can do on their own, so I'm setting them loose.

Returns from setting up the new network seven months later

Kaido: I just got the finance report for the last quarter

You: *literally just got off the boat* Sir?

King: Your network is more efficient than what we had set up.

Kaido: you're getting promoted, so you can manage it from here.

You: But I was really looking forward to working with King again.

Kaido: then you'll work under him not me.

You: I'm keeping my desk in your office.

King: For someone who ruthlessly castrated a man to get him to do what they wanted, you are very clingy and sentimental.

You: I was well within my rights to revoke that man's dick privilege, you had no idea how man people he's assaulted. I did that town a fucking favor by pickling that man's junk

Kaido: you pickled it!

You: Yes I did, how else, so you think I got an entire town to look the other way about our ships coming into the harbor?

Kaido: I never would have thought of that... You know when I met you I never would have guessed you'd be an asset to my operations. You seemed too soft and naive, too kind.

You: *shrugs* Well thank you for thinking I'm kind, but I just so happen to hate you less than the world government, and you have more money than the revolutionary army. And Lin Lin and her family freaks me out.

King: don't forget Akagami and Whitebeard won't hire you since you've worked with us.

You: *clicks your tongue* and I regret it every day.

Coming Soon

[flowerandblood]

Lead me to the light (Oneshot)

[religious • modern!Aemond x female]

[warnings: fingering, mention of masturbation, religious guilt]

[description: He and she are very religious. They are in love, happy and engaged, but it is becoming increasingly difficult for them, to bear the lack of physical intimacy that they both crave. They decide to try something new. Anon Request.]

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

_____

She met Aemond at the parish school. Once he came with his mother, who was a catechist, to help her carry a few boxes with various things. She helped her in working with children as a volunteer. They organized extracurricular activities and plein-airs in the parish hall, belonging to the nearby church.

She often saw Aemond and his mother at church on Sundays. Alicent always greeted her after they left and had a few words with her, but her son always stood a few steps away, not even looking at them, thoughtful. She noticed, that he always turned, so she couldn't see the scarred part of his face.

One day, the parish priest had the idea, to organize a small picnic for all the faithful in the large parish garden, after the mass. Alicent thought it was a great idea and they ordered the catering together. It was necessary to go for tables, chairs and disposable dishes, so they divided the duties.

“I asked Aemond to drive you to the store. Here's a list of things you need to buy." She said softly, giving her a piece of paper and a bundle of bills, to buy all these things.

She was excited to see him. He intrigued her immensely, and she wondered, if she'd be able to get him to even a brief exchange of words.

Aemond arrived on time. She waited for him on the street and ran to the car, that he parked in the parking lot. She opened the passenger door and sat in the seat, smiling at him.

"Good morning." She said cheerfully and lightly, it was beautiful, summer morning at its best.

"Hi." He said dryly and dispassionately, glancing in the mirror as he reversed the car, making sure it didn't hit anything. She pursed her lips, placing her hands on the small backpack in front of her.

She rolled over and glanced at his player with a smile, hearing, that AC/DC's "Highway to Hell" was playing. She thought it was a funny song choice, given their religious approach to life. All she could see on the playlist, were rock bands, that she knew well. She heard him twist in the seat next to her, confused.

"If you want, I'll play another playlist." He said low. She looked at him as if he had insulted her.

"You must be joking. It's a sin to switch such a piece." She said amused and laughed, turning her face towards the window.

"I was at an AC/DC concert last year." She added after a moment, thinking with satisfaction about this event, that she went to with her dad, a huge fan of the band.

They were silent for a while, as they listened to the song. She heard him clear his throat softly, as if he wanted to say something, but nothing came out of his mouth. She thought he was cute.

After a few minutes, they arrived at the store. Aemond went in with her, for there were many things to buy, and his mother had told him not to make her carry too much.

She headed for the aisle with disposable plates and cups. There were so many and with so many patterns, that she didn't know, what to choose. She showed him a pattern with flowers and a pattern with colorful, large polka dots.

"Which one do you like more?" She asked, and he looked at her, surprised.

"Does it matter? They'll be thrown away anyway." He spoke reluctantly, but stopped immediately, apparently thinking, that he might have offended her. He turned his head, pressing his lips together. She looked at the plates and sighed.

"Maybe you're right. So what, we'll take plain white? They're probably even cheaper." She said taking the third set, examining it. Aemond looked at her in surprise, expecting his remark to frustrate her. He nodded.

"Let's take the cheaper ones and buy more juices." He proposed. She thought it was a good idea and they did exactly that.

She had the impression, that her openness and lightness of conversation made him relax. She discussed freely with him the choice of what to buy and what would be better on such a hot day. They gave up the chocolate cookies, thinking, they would just melt.

Alicent told her, that she could also choose some extra items herself, if she found something interesting in the store. She decided to buy surprise eggs for the children, she knew they loved them.

They left the store with everything they needed to buy, packing the things into the trunk. They got in and headed back to the church, continuing to listen to his rock playlist, without talking to each other.

When they arrived, Aemond helped her fetch her things from the car and lay them on the tables, that were already set out in the parish garden. She rummaged in one of the bags and pulled out two chocolate surprise eggs, placing one in front of him and the other in front of her. He looked at her, surprised.

"Why are you giving me this? I thought, it was supposed to be for kids." He said low, indifferent. She looked at him, eyebrows raised in amusement.

"And we are not someone's children? Come on, you didn't collect these toys when you were little?" She asked, unwrapping her egg from the foil, breaking it into two halves with a light movement, immediately popping one piece of chocolate into her mouth.

He was about to say something, but his mother came over to them, talking to her. It turned out, that she needed help in disassembling everything and putting it in order. She apologized to Aemond and followed her, leaving him alone.

When everything was ready, they went to mass together. She invited her to sit together in one of the first pews, and she agreed. Aemond gave her a surprised look and made room for her, to sit next to him.

She tried to focus on what the priest was saying, but her mind kept returning to his scent. Some nice, fresh, intense masculine perfume, that made her head spin. His thighs were slightly parted, his feet, like hers, resting on the kneeler.

His knee was touching hers, and though she knew it was an accident, that it was just tight around them, she shivered at the thought. She couldn't help, but involuntarily pressed her leg against his a little tighter. She felt him shift uneasily in the seat, his fingers tightening on each other.

After a moment, to her surprise, it was his knee that pressed tighter against hers. She pursed her lips at the feeling. She knew, that church wasn't the best place to flirt, but she couldn't help the heat, that was welling up in her belly. She felt her cheeks flushed, a wide smile on her face.

Aemond stayed at the picnic that day and talked to her pretty much the entire time, sitting on one of the blankets, eating grapes and drinking coffee from a disposable cup. She lay down next to him, her backpack under her head. She looked up at the sky, talking to him, letting him look at her.

He opened up to her that day and even let her give him a little hug as part of his farewell. From then on, he came to help his mother more often, but she knew, he meant something else. He always sat in the classroom next to her desk with a cup of coffee in his hand.

He pretended, that he was waiting for Alicent to drive her home, but she knew, that he had only come to talk to her for fifteen minutes. It took him several months to get his true intentions out, but he was received with great enthusiasm. They have been together as a couple ever since.

Exactly after a year, he proposed to her and told her, that he did not want to wait long to get married. They decided, that they would get married next year, so that everything could be done on time. They were both happy thinking about the prospect of living together. They got along very well, also in matters of faith.

One day Aemond invited her to spend the night at his house. They had never stayed the night together before. He told her, that Helaena was away for the weekend and her room would be free, so she could take her bed. He suggested, that they watch something together and have a good time. She was thrilled and terrified at the same time.

She didn't want him to think badly of her, but he aroused so much desire in her, that she couldn't bear it. Even though, she hadn't done it before she met him, she started touching herself between her thighs, seeking fulfillment and relaxation. The tension she felt after meeting him, was unbearable.

She did not share this area of life with him, fearing, that he would lose his good opinion of her. She figured, that she'd make it to their wedding somehow.

However, spending the night together was a temptation for her, that she feared would defeat her. She was afraid of his rejection. That if she kisses him more passionately or puts her hand under his shirt, he'll look at her like she's dirty and worthless. However, she decided, that she would try to fight and not give herself out.

When she arrived at their home, Alicent immediately embraced her. The three of them had dinner - Aegon and his father were at work. Their whole family worked in the family business - Aemond once in a while because, like her, he was still studying.

Then they said goodbye, she took her things to Helaena's room and went to him. He was sitting on his bed with his laptop on his lap. He was browsing some platform, looking for some interesting movie.

She climbed onto his bed and lay down next to him, wrapping her arm around his, placing her cheek against his shoulder. He immediately kissed the top of her head, continuing to scroll down, letting out a grunt of displeasure.

"I don't see anything interesting. I don't know why I'm paying for this." He hummed low, sighing softly, leaning his head against the bed. After a few minutes, they decided together, that they would start a series, that was recommended to her by one of her friends.

They began to watch, his arm wrapped around her and pulled her to him. She automatically buried her face in his neck, inhaling his scent, closing her eyes. His hand played with the strands of her hair, curling them around his fingers and letting go.

She felt a pleasant shiver at the feeling, she loved it, when he did that. Her hand ran over his chest thoughtfully. She couldn't concentrate on what she was watching. Aemond looked at her, turning his head in her direction.

"You don't like it? We can turn on something else." He murmured, stroking her head steadily and kissing her forehead. A pleasant shiver ran through her. She thought with horror, that she wanted more. They kissed often. She decided, it was okay, if they did it now.

She looked up at him and moved closer to his face, her lips brushing his, warm and full. He hummed low in contentment, parting his mouth, returning her caress gently with a wet click.

They kissed like that for a moment, tender, innocent, his hand tracing her cheek. She heard his soft moan, as her hand tightened around the nape of his neck, her lips digging deeper, more lustfully into his.

She felt as if he froze for a moment, but she continued to caress him, feeling the throbbing between her thighs, wonderful and hot. She wondered, if he felt it too. He broke away from her suddenly and cleared his throat, looking away.

"So? Are we watching on?” He asked, refreshing the page, rewinding the episode a few minutes.

She pursed her lips and nodded. She felt her whole body stiffen, for some reason, tears of helplessness gathered in her eyes. She buried her face in his neck again, his hand still stroking her steadily.

She felt tears streaming from the corners of her eyes, straight onto his skin, her body twitching slightly, but she made no sound. Aemond felt wetness on his neck and propped himself up on one elbow to see, what was happening. When he saw her red, tear-stained face, he immediately stopped the movie, staring at her, horrified.

"What's going on?" He asked anxiously, stroking with his hand her bare shoulder. She couldn't answer him, only began to cry even more, sucking in a ragged breath.

"Hey, baby, what happened? You can tell me." He said soothingly, wiping away her tears, stroking her cheek.

She could see in his gaze, that he was terrified and surprised, she had never cried in front of him before. She shook her head, letting him know, that she couldn't tell him. He pursed his lips, seeing this.

"Really, you can tell me anything. I want to know, what's bothering you." He said calmly, her hand ran over his chest involuntarily. She couldn't look him in the eye.

"You will despise me, when I tell you." She mumbled softly, sniffling, tears flowing from her eyes again, as if the thought of telling him terrified her so much, that all she could do was sob.

She heard him sigh heavily, pressing his forehead against her temple, his long, blond hair lightly tickling her nose.

"I will never despise you. And since I am to be your husband, I want to support you in all your worries.” He whispered softly, his lips lingeringly kissing her scalp once in a while.

She looked at him finally, turning onto her back, their faces millimeters apart. She opened her mouth several times, trying to force it out. She finally made it.

"I desire you." She said in a broken voice. She saw the pain and surprise in his gaze. He swallowed hard, his mouth pressed into a thin line, his body tensed. He didn't answer for a moment, staring at her with wide eye.

"You know… you know, that I desire you too." He whispered softly. She pursed her lips at his words.

"The frustration I feel is unbearable." She said finally, looking away, shaking her head, shielding her eyes with her hand, so he wouldn't see, that she was crying again.

She felt like an empty girl, unable to contain her simplest urges. She heard him exhale loudly, his breath shaky and loud.

"You think it's easy for me? If only I could…” He said and didn't finish, turning his head, looking to the side, his lips pressed together. “…if only I could, I would take you here and now. But we both know, we'd feel guilty afterwards." He added quickly, looking at her uncertainly.

She pursed her lips at his words. She knew, he was right. She wanted to wait until marriage. With this wonderful experience of feeling him deep inside her.

She swallowed softly and nodded her head. They were silent for a moment. She felt, like he wanted to say something, but couldn't.

“I have to relieve myself before each meeting with you. Otherwise, I wouldn't have been able to resist." He blurted out suddenly softly, his words sending a shiver down her spine. He didn't look at her, embarrassed by his words. She swallowed loudly.

"I… I touch myself too." She said embarrassed, her cheeks burning with tears and emotions.

He looked at her, a silence filled with tension between them. She could feel her muscles clenching with desire, the moisture dripping onto the fabric of her panties. She could see that he was fighting with himself, that something was in the air.

"…can I touch you there?" He asked softly, his voice trembling, unsure. Her eyes widened in shock. She nodded quickly, swallowing hard, her heart pounding like crazy. She was desperate.

"Y-yes. Yes, please, touch me there.” She whispered pleadingly, and he moaned softly at her words, his hand immediately going between her thighs, on the fabric of her panties. She suppressed a moan that escaped her lips and squeezed her eyes shut, her body arching in pleasure.

His fingers pressed lightly against her, starting to massage her through the fabric, moving up and down. A wave of heat ran through her, making her shiver all over. They both started breathing heavily.

"God, your panties are all wet." He whispered softly, delighted and thrilled by what he was doing and seeing. She nodded her head, trembling all over, sweet, soft moans escaped her lips.

Unable to contain himself, he pressed his lips against hers, more passionately and intensely than before. Each time they broke apart and clung to each other, the long, wet click of their saliva accompanied them again.

She moaned into his mouth in surprise, shivering all over, as his fingers slid the material of her panties aside and ran over her throbbing, wet, hot entrance. They both inhaled loudly at the sensation.

"You're so warm." He hummed in delight, his fingers, all sticky with her juices, traveling to her clit, teasing her timidly, seeing how her body would react to it. A sudden, startled groan of pleasure escaped her lips.

"Oh God − yes, touch me like that −" She sobbed helplessly, she felt like she had a fever, her body burning from the inside.

Unwittingly she parted her thighs a bit, allowing him access, and he moaned into her mouth feeling it, his tongue brushing over her upper lip, making them both gasp with excitement.

His fingers sped up, massaging her around her clit with slow, intense strokes, spreading her wetness all over her pussy. He could feel how hot and thirsty she was, how much she needed it, her thighs involuntarily reaching out to meet him. He was so painfully hard that he was dizzy, his cock throbbing in his pants.

He shifted his hand abruptly so that his thumb continued to massage her clit, and his fingers slid over her wet, swollen entrance again. His fingertip teased her, barely slipping in and out, feeling her fleshy walls tighten around him.

"Do you want me to put it in you, baby?" He gasped into her mouth, and she stifled a loud moan, her whole body trembling. She tightened her hand on his hair, burying her nose in his face, her body writhing under his hand.

"Y-yes − please − I need it −" She mumbled, and he closed her mouth with his in an aggressive, sticky kiss, forcing his tongue all the way down her throat.

He slid his finger inside her, stretching her swollen, throbbing muscles, feeling the heat of her body. He thought of how great a delight it would be to enter her, how tight she would clench on his large cock. He began to slip his middle finger in and out of her in a slow, intense rhythm, with the wet click of her juices.

He would never admit it, but he'd read a lot about how to please a woman. He didn't want to hurt her on their wedding night, and he'd thought of her quite often since their engagement.

He wanted to be as prepared as possible, and to be able to touch her so that she would be ready to receive him inside her. He decided that this would be a good training for them, that they would understand and learn what gave them pleasure.

He searched for her sweet spot with his finger, knew that it was somewhere on her upper wall. Suddenly, he felt something like a slight lump under his finger, and she moaned into his mouth in surprise.

He smiled under his breath, massaging this point intensely, rubbing it with a quick, confident motion that made her pant and shiver.

"Feels good, babygirl?" He hummed, a smirk on his face. He felt her walls tightening on him more and more, her hips responding greedily to his every move, seeking fulfillment. He thought it was wonderful what he could do with her body. How sensitive she was to his slightest touch.

"Yes − sweet God − it feels so, so good −" She sobbed, on the brink of despair, all hot and red, she felt hot tension rising up inside her, his thumb and finger touching her two most sensitive places at the same time, driving her crazy. She knew her fulfillment was coming, her head tilted back, her mouth parted, panting heavily.

"− A-Aemond − I'm gonna come − och, God −" She mumbled, and he pressed his lips to hers in a greedy kiss, muffling her loud, helpless moan. He didn't want his mother to hear them and come into his room right now, while his future wife was going through a wonderful, intense orgasm.

He grunted in contentment, feeling her walls tighten on him, refusing to let go, his fingers still massaging her gently, feeling, how sensitive her body was now. He pulled away from her and licked his lips. She was trembling under him, looking at him with a hazy, dreamy look, her mouth slightly parted in pleasure.

"Can I touch you now in return?"

_____

Aemond Taglist:

(bold means I couldn't tag you)

@its-actually-minicika @notnormalthings-blog @nikstrange @zenka69 @bellaisasleep @k-y-r-a-1 @g-cf2020 @melsunshine @opheliaas-stuff @chainsawsangel @iiamthehybrid @tinykryptonitewerewolf @namoreno @malfoytargaryen @qyburnsghost @aemondsdelight @persephonerinyes @fan-goddess @sweethoneyblossom1 @watercolorskyy @astral-blossoms @randomdragonfires @amirawritespoorly @apollonshootafar @padfooteyes @darylandbethfanforever9 @fudge13 @snh96 @diosademuerte

[try-set-me-on-fire]

just really needed a hug sort of hug

for the soft prompts <3

Uhhhh this is a little angsty and vibey sorry about that! Set a few years in the future in a world where the lightning strike had bigger and longer lasting impact on Buck than it did in canon. Send me soft prompts! The rest I’ve done are on a03!

Eddie is pinching the skin by his elbow, the shiny part where it's new. Well, a few months old at this point, Chimney supposes, but he still gently smacks the man's bicep as he passes him to sit at the table.

"Quit it, Diaz."

Eddie makes a face at him but he puts his hand flat on the table. He then makes another, more stressed out face, and waves the hand in the air in a vague but emphatic motion.

"I want to call Buck again."

"You were on the phone half an hour ago."

"Yep." His palm presses into the wood again. "I am aware of that."

Chim hooks his left ankle over his right knee. "You two ever get word…"

"Every test came back fine- within normal- they didn't find anything. They have no fucking idea why his blood pressure dropped like that." Eddie crosses his arms. "Between the two of us we've funded the Los Angeles ambulance budget for the fucking year and the best advice anyone had was for him to 'rest and drink plenty of fluids.'"

"Shit."

"Mhmm." Eddie's knee is bouncing anxiously, and he looks exhausted. He has looked exhausted, frankly, since a fourth story floor went out from under him in June and he gained the dubious honor of being the first member of 118 A shift to sustain third degree burns. He doesn't pinch at it again, but he's gripping the scarred bend of his arm tight enough that it might fall under Buck's strict instructions to tell him to leave it alone. "He shouldn't have been back at work yet."

"He seemed fine, Eddie."

Eddie exhales, shaky and unpleasant. "He seemed like he was getting better from the flu, and then Chris found him on the kitchen floor. He seemed better on Thursday and then-" he shakes his head, breathes in, blows the air out slowly. "I've told myself that a lot today - he was ok when I left this morning, he’s fine, he’s texting me, it’s going to be ok. But he was ok when I left those mornings too." He blows out air again, and it whistles through his clenched teeth.

Chimney thinks Eddie wouldn't appreciate it, but he thinks very hard and loud that the universe should give the Diaz family a fucking break. He extends his leg so his boot taps into Eddie's.

"He was doing so good- he felt good in a way he hasn't in a long time." Eddie makes direct eye contact for the first time this conversation. "We were talking about him working towards recertification. Coming back here. He really does love the call center and he’s good at it, but he misses being a part of the team, still. And then-" he makes an unhappy little sound. "He exhausted himself taking care of me and now this… We can both say 'healing isn't linear' until our mouths bleed but he’s almost back to where he was right after the strike and- and he's disappointed, I know he is and just- just not knowing what life is going to be like one day to the next- It's just been… a rough fucking year." Eddie's mouth turns up in a real grimace of a smile. "But we have experience with those. So… we'll just keep getting through it."

Two memories play out in Chimney's head.

First: A beach day, sometime in the first summer after Buck and Eddie were married. The jeep had arrived first, but as Chimney did what Maddie referred to as his Dad Jog to the trunk of his own car to start unloading he noticed that none of its occupants had got out yet. From the place he was standing he could see Buck, lit up golden in the afternoon glow, twisted sideways in the passenger seat and gesturing wildly as he talked, absolute glee written all over his face. Eddie in the driver's seat and Chris, unbuckled in the back, leaned their whole bodies towards him like plants seeking photosynthesis. Chim had wondered if the sun had been lonely before it had planets to orbit it, and then laughed at himself for being poetic, and anyway he wasn't sure that's the order the universe formed in. Buck would know, he'd have to ask him.

Second: Thursday, when Buck had made it through pneumonia like a champ and then gone back to his job at dispatch only to take a nap in the break room that no one could really wake him up from. It gets more ethically dubious by the year for any of the 118 to treat each other what with their tangled web of marriages and less official family ties, but Maddie had sounded panicked over the radio, and they’d been the closest first responders, and Chimney is certain that even if they weren’t nothing could have stopped them from coming for their brother, son, husband. Chimney remembers Eddie kneeling in front of the couch, the exact quiet tone of his voice as he’d said “Honey, I’m right here,” and the lethargic movement of Buck’s hand coming to weakly grip his shoulder. But the real thing, the clip that’s going to stay in his mind forever and repeat without permission, is looking up from establishing a line in the ambulance and watching how Eddie was curled down towards his partner as he tried to keep a flash of blue appearing between fluttering eyelids. Eddie was talking and Chimney doesn’t remember any of the words because he was also stroking his thumb over Buck’s brow and Chimney can’t stop thinking that he has never seen a human being touch another that gently.

Eddie’s phone buzzes and he looks at it, huffing a laugh and scrubbing a hand over his face. “He’s asking about pasta shapes. Wait- is he in the kitchen?” He frowns and hits dial, and the phone only gets out a single ring before Buck picks up.

“Hey,” his voice drifts, tinny, into the room and Chimney feels some tight little thing in his chest relax a little.

“You better not be cooking, Buck, you’re on speaker so I have back up if I need to yell at you.”

“I’m not, I’m not,” Buck laughs. “I’m exploiting child labor.”

Distantly, Christopher says “Hi, dad.”

“And you’re not helping at all?” Eddie raises his eyebrow and Chimney bets Buck can see it, miles away at their home.

“Chris is doing all the work, I swear, and we’re just gonna dump on the sauce I made, uh- Wednesday? Tuesday? Whatever, I can supervise boiling water. I didn’t even pick a pasta shape, c’mon, farfalle or fusilli?”

“Fusilli. You should be resting, Buck.”

Buck sighs, staticky over the speakers. “All I did today was move from the couch to the kitchen table, and I walked very slowly. I’m wrapped in a blanket and everything.” There’s a faint rustling sound and then Buck continues in a quieter voice. “I promised I’d tell you if something felt wrong. I’m alright, Eddie.”

Eddie bites his lips, and then takes the call off speaker and steps towards the kitchen. “You’re ok? You feel alright?” He spins his silicone wedding band around his finger as he listens. “Yeah. Yeah, before you wake up, probably.” He says “Buck” and Chimney always wondered how Eddie said that name and made it mean so much, folding in care and exasperation and adoration like he’s laminating butter between layers of dough. “Alright, I love you. I love you. Yeah. Tomorrow.”

He hangs up and as he exhales the alarm goes off overhead, because of course it does. Eddie starts towards the stairs but Chimney hurries forward and grabs him first and pulls him into the tightest hug he can. Eddie clings onto him for a moment, and they can only spare seconds for this attempt at comfort but he looks grateful when he pulls back, looks a little less tense.

"I love you, bud," Chimney says, and Eddie actually laughs at him as they head down the stairs. Chim swipes at the back of his brother in-law in-law's head as they pull on their gear and load into the engine and Eddie dodges with the practiced ease of a man with siblings. When they're in their seats and headed to the scene, though, Eddie leans forward and knocks his elbow into Chimney's knee.

"Love you, too." Eddie smiles. Three silhouettes in a car. A gentle touch. Things are going to be ok.

[neil-gaiman]

Hello, Mr. Gaiman!

My name is Kate, and I'm an elementary school librarian. I have been reading "Fortunately, the Milk" to my third grade classes over the past couple of weeks. It is an unexpected gem of a story, and it has brought much laughter and wonder to my library. We finished the book today - and oh, the groans when Dad presented the proof of his story! - and I've just launched the entire third grade on a massive collaborative storytelling project so we can talk about what goes into creating a book. They are writing their own "Further Adventures of Dad and Dr. Steg." We started researching today, to find times and places when a floaty-ball-person-carrier captained by a talking stegosaurus might cause a stir... I have kids dreaming up stories set at the International Space Station, frontier America, the bottom of the sea, the Amazon rainforest (with talking animals), and even one group planning a harrowing altercation with a wild moose in Sweden... Every twist and turn in your plot was so gloriously unexpected, that there can be no wrong answers in this part of the project! Then comes the writing, team editing, and illustrating - we have the edition illustrated by Skottie Young, and the kids adore the art - and at the end of everything, we'll be "publishing" the whole project for the school to see outside the library! The kids are so excited, and I just wanted to say thank you for that! We've had so much fun already!

What an enormously fun idea!

[stagefoureddiediaz]

How is it I've ended up in a situation where i end up writing two costume metas a week now 🤔😂😳 We are sneak peek meta'ing as there is some juicy stuff in the sneak peaks we've had!! First up,

Madney!!

Lots of check - sooooo much check going on here!! the interesting thing about having both of them in check is how they contrast each other - I think we'll see that Maddie is more confused about things than Chimney is as the episode unfolds. Maddies jacket being a variety of check hints at confusion and danger on multiple fronts - I'd be prepared to put money down on Maddie not only reckoning with the Doug of the equation, but also there being further things for her in relation to her parents and some things around Jee-Yun as well. How exactly we'll see all that play out and how much detail they'll go into over it I have no idea, but I can see 2 possibly 3 different tweed chcks on her jacket, so there are likely to be 2 or 3 things that she has to face up to.

Chimneys Check has however been lurking there below the surface all season long and that very much plays into the longer arc we've seen for him this season. I would've loved to have actually seen the joint therapy session we were supposed to get at the start of the season because I'm sure it would've played into this underlying foreshadowing of danger we have for him, but I have a theory about why we didn't end up seeing it. Chimney's check has nearly always been close to his skin - by that I mean shirts rather than jumpers or jackets - and we've seen a lot of times where it is hidden under a plain jumper or jacket. I don't want to jump the gun too much by making crazy predictions, but as well as foreshadowing his season finale injury, I think we might be seeing some foreshadowing for Chimney keeping some stuff close to his chest that we will get to see play out in season 7 - its feeling very much like this season is setting up some sort of Chimney trauma healing arc that is bigger than the smallish stuff we've been given so far - it has always felt a little off that we never really got to dig into the stuff with Chimneys father more than we did and then with the Kevin stuff we got in the last episode, it feels like the show building towards something bigger for him and the costumes are aiding this subtext.

Eddie and Chris

there are all of the things going on here in this scene!! firstly as has already been mentioned - it is the same knit hoodie that Eddie was wearing in 5x14. We'll come back to Eddie though - I want to start with Chris!

This is the first time we've ever seen Chris in a denim jacket, in fact we've never actually seen him in a jacket at all, we've only seen him in hoodies up to this point. there is something about this being the first time we see him wear one - at Shannons grave side. Denim jackets are culturally tied to westerns, cowboys and to Texas. Christopher wearing one here would appear to be a visual way of tying him to the childhood he had with his mother - backing up the conversation about making s'mores with her when he was younger.

We can't not talk about the striped hoodie Stripes according to my theory are all about change incoming - the theory hasn't yet been disproven by the wardrobe department and I get the feeling that here is no different. The idea that a change is coming in Christophers life is one that has been hovering around for a little while and the narrowing of the stripes would suggest that change is getting closer. I can't not mention the fact that the hoodie is also white and grey striped - the horizontal version of Buck shirt from the shooting. this is suggesting two things to me - one it is connecting Chris directly to the fact he nearly lost both parents - sitting at the grave of one parent while wearing something that echoes an outfit from the moment he could've lost a second parent. I also think there is something in the connection to Buck specifically in this - its directly connected to the will and that Chris has a third parent - I can't wait to see if I'm just clowning hard, or if the change the stripes Chris is wearing are foreshadowing some connetion to the will!

I do want to touch on the fact that he has short trousers on here - I'm fascinated by them as a choice because again, they're not something we've seen Chris wearing before and my brain automatically went to Buck and the short trousers he has been wearing a lot of. The ones we see Chris in here are a bit shorter than the ones Buck wears but I do think it was an interesting choice - I hope we get to see Chris moving in them so I can see exactly how short they actually are, because if they are meant to mimic Bucks then that is very much a choice by the costume department - to connect Christophers past with his present and future!

Back to Eddies greenish black hoodie. while there is very much the connection to Buck misunderstanding the assignment and the heart metaphors at play, there is another aspect to this outfit being worn again and that is his therapy session with Frank

You get some weird screenshots from this scene from me because I want you to look at Eddies arm (this is literally the only vaguely decent shot of it I can get from the sneak peek!) and notice how Eddie is very much not wearing his watch - there is no watch to be seen work or home or fancy watch!!! this is very much saying that Eddie isn't racing against time here or any of the other time metaphors that are in play - other than Eddie has time, that Eddie has moved on and is at peace with Shannon now - something also supported by the choice of flowers at the grave.

I love flower meanings (if you hadn't already figured that out) and the bouquet of roses with some goldenrods is interesting! Goldenrods represent happiness and sincerity and are also associated with new beginnings. The roses are in dark red, coral orange, pale yellow and white. Roses are all generally associated with love, but each colour represents a different aspects or types of love. they do also have some other meanings attached to them. Yellow roses are symbols of friendship and they are connected with Dia de Muertos - the day of the dead, where they are a symbol of remembrance. The white roses are a symbol of innocence and purity, but also represent new beginnings (which is why they're often seen at weddings). the red roses are romantic love and the orange ones bridge the gap between romantic love and friendship - interesting that there is the most of these ones - suggesting that Eddies feelings towards Shannon sit more in the fond friendship and remembrance zone rather than the romantic zone - its saying that Eddie has and is moving on from her - that he will always think of her with love and affection, but that those feelings have subsided into something more like friendship. This is a clear symbol of Eddie being ready to move on fro her.

Natalia

Oh there is so much going on here that I can't even begin to tell you!!!

first up - her hand is bound in a handkerchief with what appear to be blue roses.

Roses in general terms mean love - red for romantic, yellow for friendship etc. Blue roses mean unattainable love (because they do not occur naturally - only through artificial means) - so that would suggest that both love is unattainable for both Natalia and Buck in this direction but also that any feelings etc are not real - they can only be achieved through synthetic or artificial means - suggesting that any attempt at a relationship is going to be forced. Blue roses can also mean (especially the lighter shades of blue) emotions - specifically the finding of hope peace and tranquility. So with all of this in mind we end up with the concept of Buck finding what he’s looking for and that Natalia will help him get there, but that it isn't love, its the peace, tranquility and happiness that he's been seeking.

Natalia wearing a black velvet blazer is also a telling choice - here we have a connection to Bucks date not date outfit from 6x13. Not only does this jacket therefore tie into the idea of dates not actually being dates, that one of them may think that a potential date is a date, when it is in fact not one, but it also plays into the mixed feelings title from that episode as well. overall the jacket is playing into the idea of misunderstandings on some level (Buck continuing to misunderstand the assignment!)

I know you're all staring at how pretty she is, but I want you to look at that necklace!! We have seen that necklace before!!

Sorry for the jump scare, but here it is;

Now why on earth would you put Natalia in the very same necklace as Taylor Kelly unless it means something?!!! I wrote this in my 5x16 costume meta about that necklace and its meaning;

The chain she was wearing however - very interesting - well to me at least!! (you might have already read this part if you read my answer to an ask!!) So chains that look like actual chains (as this one does) are usually representative of bondage or incarceration - such as the chains of slavery or the chains worn by prisoners or the idea of chattel - the concept of possession - belonging to someone or something -such as historically when women became the property of men upon the event of their marriage (the ball and chain). non of the associations with chains are positive ones! There is also the location around her neck - its not worn loose or lower down it is literally like a chain collar around her neck - a noose like position. 

Basically all of this adds up to Taylor signalling that she is essentially making her self a chattel - staking her claim on Buck through the concept of her being the woman in possession. The thing is though that idea is outdated - Taylor herself is outdated (as in to be history soon) and there are so many quotes about breaking free from chains that bind you and that love frees you from your chains. So if Taylor is putting herself into the idea of being a chain - a noose about Bucks neck - the symbolism becomes as much about Taylors attempts to chattel herself as it is about the concept of Buck freeing himself of the chains binding him and the idea that Love will free him from those chains. Now because this is film/tv - the director will use that chain symbolism to point out the love - the audience knows Taylor is in a relationship with Buck so they will subconsciously connect that chain to him. But where Buck is located - that is where the love is and the audiences eye will be draw to that location - in placing Buck with Eddie and not having him come over to the conversation and therefore standing next to Lucy in any way - it is all done to show where the love that will set Buck free is - and that is with Eddie!!

I stand by all I said in that meta - it is all still relevant. However, the fact they’ve chosen to have Natalia wear the necklace we saw Tay Kay in in 5x16 for that very key scene (when Buck was off flirting with Eddie in the background) is less about Natalia herself trying to stake a claim on Buck and much more about what she represents as a death doula. She is a representation of death and this necklace is playing into the idea of death having a claim over Buck - of Buck feeling like death has a claim over him. It continues to play into the theme of Orpheus and Eurydice's that we saw at play through Carla in 6x11. the concept of Buck still wanting to look back rather than forward and the act of looking back pulling you back to the underworld. 

This is telling me that Buck is still drawn by death, that he is attracted to and and chateled or attached to death because he hasn’t yet dealt with any of his route trauma. 

The fact that we see the necklace on Tay Kay at the moment she has to reckon with who she thinks is the wedge in her relationship with Buck, may also be telling because reusing it here potentially has a similar theme at play - there is a third person/thing in any relationship they attempt to create - death that Natalia may end up feeling the same way as Tay Kay - not saying she’s going to be petty and weird like TK was, it is more likely she will recognise the wedge is bucks relationship with death - and it will be a catalyst to Bucks healing making progressI standby.

there is another connection that @theladyyavilee 's eagle eyes spotted - the necklace is also the same as a bracelet that Ana is wearing when Eddie comes across her in Jinx

the meanings are similar to those I've already written about - with Ana the other more subtle connection is the reason Eddie bumps into her at all is because of Izzy Chainz - stuck up on his billboard.

The fact that we have Natalia connected to both Taylor and Ana in this way is in and of itself very telling - the connections to them is telling us that things with Natalia and Buck won't work out - as if we needed any further confirmation, the wardrobe department as always have our backs and just add their weight to all the other indicators. There is also the meaning behind Natalias name - birthday - specifically in connection with Christmas day and the birth of Christ - further tying into the theory that Natalia is going to help Buck move on from his death in some way and this will very likely also have some connection with the route of Bucks trauma - Daniel and the reaso he was born and allow him to get ever closer to finding happiness - it just won't be with her

Right that is quite enough going feral over the sneak peeks - hopefully it will tide you over until the episode airs and I can write my full normal meta!!!

[daswarschonkaputt]

[surfaces from the deep with art in tow]

'tis i, the purveyor of fem!kinnporsche lookbooks, this time bearing kimchay. if you missed the kinnporsche one it's here. if you didn't, you know the drill, thoughts and refs beneath the cut.

okay let's start with kim:

i'm gonna be real with you folks: i struggled hard with fem!kim. in my head, kim much like fem!kinn is someone who uses her clothes to send messages, but where kinn is trying to communicate power and authority, kim is instead using her clothes to adopt different personas or elements of her personality. and so, i can see fem!kim wearing nearly everything, basically.

kimlor swift aka wik aka internet popstar kim

so, return customers may notice something odd about kim: i gave her different poses for each of her personas. why? i think kim is someone who embodies a lot of different personas, and i think the change is more than skin deep.

this was very much the first set i drew. the brief for these outfits in my head was something like "k-pop kim possible". also a lot of these were drawn when i still had covid lmao so i barely remember most of it.

it was very important to me that kim had a wolf cut. that fact came to me the moment i started thinking about fem!kim. so. you know. you're welcome.

runing errands (first outfit) - this one was the first outfit i drew for kim, and it was mostly summoned up from my own head. i spent a lot of time scrolling through pinterest before i started drawing. in my head, this is sort of what she wears when she's out and about as wik but not like, performing or whatever. still a very crafted image, but a little more casual than her performance gear.

performance (second outfit) - this one does have a ref! i found this image on pinterest and was like yes. this one. i thought long and hard about what i wanted wik's fashion and persona to be, because i debated going along the family friendly singer-songstress route, but in the end i figured she had to be cool and a little edgy. hence [gestures at the clothes].

award show/red carpet (third outfit) - this one's kind of fun. longtime listeners will recall that i started drawing these lookbooks bc @mortimerlatrice told me they didn't think fem!kinn would wear dresses and i had to disprove them -- so i thought it'd be fun if for kim, she only wore dresses when on mafia business. kim in a dress is a blaring warning signal that you're gonna get your shit rocked. so, kim's award show look is a pantsuit. she doesn't wear dresses at all as wik. there was definitely a reference image for this one, but i drew the entirety of this first set when i had covid, so i don't think i saved it OTL

detective wikachu aka mafia kim

another fun detail you might notice about mafia!kim -- she's always got her hair up. that was also deliberate. also holy shit this set killed me so bad. we'll get there.

running errands (detective errands) (first outfit) - this is what kim wears when she's gotta blackmail randos for info. fairly casual, all things told, but very different in vibe to her wik stuf. also the pattern on that suit is incredibly simple but it took me 45 mins to create bc i still had covid brainfog at this point. the reference for this look was celine's spring/summer 2021 rtw collection look 24.

visiting dad (to snoop) (second outfit) - another source of debate for me. what, exactly, does kim send as a message to her father when she comes back home? i played with the idea of her wearing a sort of perfectly pretty mafia princess disguise, but i don't think that's what she'd use to get on her father's good side. so, she's wearing a dress (fuck your shit up vibes for her) but it's got a strong vibe to it. so, i had to go with alexander mcqueen, which is one of my favourite designers. this one is specifically alexander mcqueen pre-fall 2022 look 17.

at a gala (mafia-flavoured) also to snoop (third outfit) - oh my god you guys will not believe how many of these i went through. i even fully drew another option before discarding it completely. (originally, i was going to go with erdem pre-fall 2023 look 8 which i drafted here but i just didn't vibe with it the more i worked on it. i guess it felt a little too princessy? so i pivoted.) this one is from another of those designers i actually really like, zuhair murad. this one's from fall 2022 couture, specifically look 38. very much love at first sight. the moment i saw it, i knew i was gonna draw it. and oh boy did drawing it make me suffer. that bead pattern on the dress? killed me. actually killed me. fucking OW. worth it though.

family portrait (fourth outfit) - after all the suffering of kim's formal look this one was comparatively a breeze. found a pic on pinterest, and whoosh i went drawing. the reference is here.

chay!kim

this set is very much what it says on the tin, the clothes kim wears around chay. let's go.

guitar tutoring (first outfit) - okay so in my head the brief for this one was "what kim thinks chay thinks wik wears on her downtime", which very much sets the tone for the entire outfit. i just think it's fun if kim twists herself out of sorts with how clever she is and then chay just bulldozes straight through that. i don't actually have a reference for this one. just drew it.

rescue chay (second outfit) - this is what kim wears to go save chay from the tawan kidnapping. i dubbed this one "when you got library study session at 9, rescue bae at 12, and cyberpunk revolution at 3". the loose inspo for this one was this dress on pinterest which i tracked to the brand ganni and then found they no longer made.

say no to drugs, chay (third outfit) - okay so i wanted this outfit to be like. a wake up call to chay. the first time chay sees kim in a skirt, and the first time chay realises that maybe kim is a little dangerous. it's alexander mcqueen (ofc it is) and actually in the time between me drawing this and posting it, someone actually wore the skirt from this look on the red carpet. it's the spring 2023 rtw collection, look 24. salma hayek wore the skirt to the 2023 brits here.

the youtuber apology video fit (fourth outfit) - the brief here was "kim forcibly bolting on hinges". the idea was to kind of soften her mafia edges but leave the cornerstones of how she dresses for that very much there. so, dress, hair up, but much more relaxed. this outfit is from tommy hilfiger's spring 2023 rtw collection, specifically look 17.

onto chay:

chay was really hard to start with, i'm going to be real. i think the sum total for my notes when i started was just one word: dungarees? as i drew more of her i started to think of her as someone who thrifts and then alters a lot of her clothes. i wanted colour and patterns, and i suffered for them. by god did i suffer.

a few lil headcanons i have about her:

i think chay probably finds it easy to be considered cute and hard to move out of that box. i think there's a part of chay that wants to be sexy the way porsche is (ESPECIALLY if this is a fem!porsche universe) but doesn't know how to go about trying to achieve that. she had to ask yok how to teach her how to apply eyeliner bc porsche doesn't know how to and doesn't care to learn.

i think the role of like, female role model/influence in chay's life is later taken up by fem!kinn, who is full of the kind of advice porsche would be horrified to hear given to her precious baby sister.

chay has short hair because when she had long hair porsche was obsessed with getting her the right shampoos and conditioners and stuff to take care of it (probs based on some internalised stuff from when porsche was at school and girls would mock her for her split ends) so chay just puts a stop to that by cutting all her hair off and it turns out she kind of likes it? so she keeps it.

casual outfits

i drew all these patterns myself. from scratch. you're welcome.

green dungarees (first outfit) - the reference image is here. this was the first look i drew and also the moment i realised how stupid i was to choose a "fun" foot pose for chay. this caused no end of suffering going forward.

orange dungarees (second outfit) - ref here. here i started to regret the pattern aspect of my chay design. also those messy canvas ankle boots killed me to draw. they were so hard.

sweater vest (third outfit) = MORE FUCKING PATTERNS. i also had a reference for this one somwhere but i was drawing this whilst playing dnd so i think it just got lost.

special outfits

school uniform (first outfit) - i did a bit of looking into school uniforms in thailand and from what i can tell they basically all look very similar. idk if the lilac shirt + navy skirt combo is standardised for girls but it was pretty much all i found when i went looking. also she has a long skirt because when she and porsche bought it for her, they bought a really big one that she could wear all through school.

one (1) smart dress (second outfit) - the idea here is that this is the one smart item of clothing that chay has, and it's the one-size-fits-all-occasions dress. it's dark so it can be worn to funerals. it's somewhere between business and formal so it can be worn to both those kinds of occasions. it was based on this dress i found on pinterest.

going to a concert with friends (third outfit) - i... just wanted to put chay in a bucket hat? yeah that's all i have. no ref. just my mind.

porsche's first paycheque present (fourth outfit) - the idea here was that after getting some money from the whole mafia thing, porsche buys this as a present for chay. maybe it's a dress chay's always looked at when they walk past it in a shop window? this is a slight tweak on this dress by alaia. the original's like £2k which i cannot picture porsche and chay spending on a dress but shhh it's fine.

post-kim

these are the outfits from after the whole kim debacle goes down. i just really wanted to draw goth chay. and really, who wouldn't?

break-up era #1 (first outfit) - at this point i was just having way too much fun. the pattern took for-fucking-ever on the skirt though, because i thought i'd just cheekily re-use the dungaree flower pattern with colour changes but oh no that didn't work at all. i had to edit it so much. the reference is here. here her hair is freshly dyed blue, and she's given herself a little heartbreak undercut. you go girl.

say no to drugs chay (second outfit) - this is what chay is wearing when kim points at that rando in the club who offers chay drugs. you see all of the goth reference images i was finding were just too clean-cut and employable, you know? so torn fishnets it was. the refence i found for this is here but i changed it up bc i couldn't see chay wearing a little nightdress to go clubbing no matter how heartbroken she was.

visiting mum (third outfit) - in this one, in my head, chay has dyed her hair back to normal, but she's still got the undercut, so she straightens her hair and pins a little of it over the short bit to try and appear a little more normal chay to her mum. very simple outfit, no refs.

family portrait (fourth outfit) - there's a part of me which delights in this implied scenario because i just think it's funny if chay and kim are posing for a family portrait with kinnporsche and chay's ready to ignore the fuck out of kim and pretend like she doesn't care about her staring but then kim is in full-hide-any-weakenesses mode because korn's there so now chay's the one staring. relationship status: it's very awkward. anyway fashion wise i wanted two things from chay's outfit: for it to be simpler than any of the theerapanyakuls' and for it to be in a lighter shade of porsche's colour (blue). the reference was this cool dress i found on pinterest.

[exhales] is that everything? i think that's everything. obligatory tag for @yeetlegay bc i know they like to see the fem!kinnporsche content.

big shoutout to mort (tagged earlier), @antique-forvalaka, @luckydragon10, and @dr-lemurr for art troubleshooting and cheerleading duties.

everything was drawn in clip studio paint, which i cannot recommend enough. if you want more detailed info abt that side of things, send me an ask.

[thekingofwinterblog]

So i haven't seen anyone on this site do a full on dive on what little material we do have of dreadwolf. For a title that's gonna come out next year if its not delayed, there's shockingly little that's actually out, and what there is can be divided into two.

In game images, and artwork.

For this post i wanna focus on the art.

The most famous of the art is of course this piece. Solas in both his Elf guise and True form, both reaching for the red lyrium idol Hawke and Varric found in DA2.

First things first, before we got confirmation through Urthemiel's concept art, this was the first rock solid proof that the Evanuris were the Old Gods. 7 were sealed away, 2 yet remain, just like the orbs we see here so clearly connected to the taint through the red lyrium idol.

Now a couple of things about this idol.

1. It keeps regenerating. Inquisition did not in any way tell us about this, but this idol keeps regenerating regardless of what happens to the original.

Meredith's lyrium body was hollowed out from the inside out, and the lyrium had used her internal parts to remake itself, where it was taken by certain expanded DA universe characters.

Thats how its back despite being made into a sword, then infecting meredith.

2. The way this picture frames it, this seems to be the key to Solas goal of ripping down the veil, entering the Fade in the flesh and remaking the world.

That's not really the interesting part. No the interesting part is that this isn't the first, or second or third, but fourth completely separate object Solas seems to theoretically be able to use to undo his great work.

In the most recent trailer, we see him use a seemingly completely different artifact to try to do the job, but given the fact this is likely going to be the opening introduction of the game, whatever he's trying to do with this artifact is most certainly going tk go wrong somehow, and might tie into the main character of the game's strange ability to summon magical weaponry out if nowhere.

Maybe a sorta repeat of what happened in the inquisition? His great ritual is interrupted and derailed by some random schmuck that absorbs it's power and becomes his arch enemy?

That would explain how this random thief leader guy that this game is supposed to be headed by, becomes able to defeat Solas.

Assuming this is correct, this means that after this ritual fails, his eyes will instead turn to the red lyrium idol.

Also as i said, that would bring Solas artifacts that could be used to accomplish his plans to backtrack on the veil to a total of 4.

The first was The Mask of Fen'harel, from Redemption, an artifact that was clearly meant as a possible failsafe, given it had the capacity to rip down the veil even in the hands of a mediocre mage, nevermind Solas as he is now.

The mask was destroyed in that series, before Solas even woke up, forcing him to try to rely on his second option, his orb, his Foci, which was also destroyed in Inquisition.

Thirdly there is this strange, green, wand thingy, that seems likely to fail in some way.

And fourthly there is the red lyrium idol, which was the source of all red lyrium that has since plagued the world.

And speaking of the blight...

There are two remaining old gods, and we know how Urthemiel would have looked like in his uncorrupted state through his statues.

This is another of the old gods, uncorrupted by the taint, though which of the Evanuris this is i have no idea. A true eldrich abomination.

Regardless, while Solas is the main villain, we'll be fighting at least one more Elvhen God in this game, which assuming the other one is not fought and/or killed, means there will be one more at the game's end.

One more potential blight.

Or not as we'll see below.

From what very little we have seen of the main character, they seem to have the ability to summon a magical energy weapon. If i had to guess, this seems to be a concept art piece for that.

It also seems to be set at the final area of tresspasser(wherever that is), and the fade seems to be really powerful here at this moment, given those gloating rocks.

Not too enlightening, except for the fact there are Two archdemons in the background who may, or may not be blighted.

Guess all the evanuris as waking up in this game after all.

Shockingly enough given the last two old gods will awaken in this game, we'll get one, final dig into the deep roads before they become irrelevant as a setting.

There's some concept art for what is clearly companions, but i wanted to highlight this one along with the big one im ending this speculation post on.

The three figures from the wall aren't too interesting looking(I think the foremost guy is the pc), but the guy on the far left seems to be a avaar, given his Hakkon helmet.

Apparently we're gonna get water diving in this game, either as a cutscene, or in game play.

The guy with the mustache seems to be Dorian, though it could be a new companion rather than a returning one. The lady on the left looks like isabela, but given the glowing, magical knife, i think this is concept art for the female version of the pc, before they settled on the whole summoning the weapon.

Also the fact we're finally getting sea levels, hopefully means we get to see and possibly fight the last of the important lore monsters, the Cetus.

Seriously, if this series ends without us even getting to see the gigantic, electrical sea dragons of the Northern ocean depths, i will be so mad.

The anderfels, likely Weishaupht, the only place we know for a fact that we'll visit in game, given our only glimpse of gameplay so far takes place there.

Again, this game will likely be the final time the grey wardens are relevant, so of course we're visiting the great Warden fortress, and taking a look at what the hell's going on there.

Alright, so one of the first pieces of art we ever got, and it seems to be the companions of what is likely going to be the last dragon age game.

Left to right, i think the lady on the far left is the lady with the mask from the big battle scene artwork. If so, probably an antivan crow with a mask and a rapier.

Next is a Qunari, though what class is hard to say.

Next one is definitly a rogue, though seemingly male.

Looks like the Inquisition's horse master to be honest.

Next is who I'm assuming to be dorian.

And after him, there is the most interesting part of the piece, a figure with either a thick hood, or thick white hair, holding what is very, very clearly a gun.

Which is not too surprising. Gunpowder has been on the verge of being cracked since awakening, and the Inquisitor discovered the recipe in tresspasser, so guns being invented in the meantime makes perfect sense.

No clue about the next two, but the final one is very, very clearly related to the Navarran death mages, though wheter it's a mortalatasi, or a spirit bound to a body by them is hard to say.

Regardless they all seem to be a ragtag bunch compared to Inquisitions group. Which would fit with the idea that they are supposed to be a bunch of thieves and such that'ss forced into a battle for the world.

[neversetyoufree]

in the last ep of the anime, i noticed that it cut out to the ending directly before vanitas could actually take noes hand, and i wondered if that was referencing what noe said about vanitas at the beginning.

Oh that's such a good catch! You're absolutely right anon, and I think we can take your idea even further than that.

I've talked about this in a previous post, but VnC's running refrain of Noé reaching for Vanitas's hand is really symbolic. Noé has saved Vanitas from literally falling multiple times, but their entire relationship is also one big metaphorical outstretched hand. Vanitas is "falling" down toward his inevitable doom as he self destructs via his revenge, and Noé is grasping out desperately as he tries to catch him and save him from that fate.

"That day when I didn't grab your hand" (which I assume, along with killing him, is what you mean by "what Noé said about Vanitas") might refer to a future event in which Noé will literally fail to catch Vanitas. But more importantly, it's a reference to the larger truth. By Noé's definition of salvation—in terms of preventing his death, Noé is going to fail to save Vanitas. No amount of reaching out can prevent his ultimate fall.

Within this metaphor, then, the scene on the rooftop after the amusement park can be summed up simply. It's the scene where Vanitas finally lets himself reach for Noé's offered hand.

I mean this in three ways.

The first way is the literal way. The scene ends with Vanitas reaching up to take Noé's hand and be helped to his feet. And despite the sheer frequency of Noé reaching out for or trying to catch Vanitas, this is only the second time we see Vanitas actually reach up and take Noé's hand to be helped of his own accord. The only other time is in the catacombs, right before he decides to tell Noé about Doctor Moreau for the first time.

In the catacombs, Vanitas taking Noé's hand works as a symbolic gesture of trust and an acceptance of Noé's help with the Moreau case. Noé has been forcing his help on Vanitas up until this point, staying up late by the door just to follow him out, but taking his hand is the moment that Vani starts to willingly bring him into the fold. The literal is never just literal with these guys.

The second way comes when Vanitas tells Noé that he's "given up on making him do what he wants." As I said, Noé has spent the entire manga reaching out and trying to save Vanitas from his "fall." One major facet of that is his recurring refusal to let Vanitas isolate himself. He makes a willful declaration of staying by his side when Vanitas tries to dismiss him in the bell tower, and when Vanitas tries to cut Noé out of his life by the blade of a knife, Noé comes back with "I will never set you free." Vanitas wants, or at least claims he wants, Noé to leave him the hell alone, but Noé says no every time.

"Giving up on making Noé do what he wants," then, means that Vanitas has finally let himself accept that he wants Noé by his side. There's no more pretending he doesn't want his help or his presence. No more trying to shove Noé away every time he's upset. At least in this moment (though we'll have to see if he holds himself to it), Vanitas has admitted that he wants Noé and Noé's supportiveness in his life.

Mochijun even uses a flashback panel to be sure we know exactly what Vanitas means here. It's that important.

Giving up on trying to push Noé away is one very significant way in which Vanitas has accepted the metaphorical outstretched hand. He's admitting he wants Noé, and Noé's presence means the presence of love and help. It means the end of self-isolation as a maladaptive coping technique. Of course he's going to reach up and accept Noé's literal offer to help him to his feet in the same scene that he finally tells Noé he'll stop trying to get rid of him.

The third way is, of course, when Vanitas says that he wants Noé to be the one to kill him.

Now, this is not how Noé wanted Vanitas to interpret his outstretched hand. Unlike his loved ones, Noé does not see killing and being killed as a way to show love or to save someone. His offer of salvation is meant to be an offer to save Vanitas from his self-destruction. But Vanitas does not want to be saved that way. And given that the manga begins with the statement that Noé will kill him someday, we know that Vanitas cannot be saved by Noé's definition.

However, Vanitas does not share Noé's definition of salvation. I don't know if Vanitas himself could even put words to his personal idea of salvation. But we know from multiple examples that it can sometimes include the gift of a kind death to prevent a worse life. That's the kind of salvation he offers when he returns a curse bearer's True Name despite knowing that it will kill them.

I have a lot of thoughts about the kind of salvation Vanitas could find in Noé, but for the purposes of this scene, this idea of a preferable death is a big one. Vanitas would rather die than lose his humanity, and this is an extremely vulnerable thing for him. Saying that he wants Noé to kill him is, in his own way, accepting Noé's unspoken offer of salvation. He's saying "I want you to be the one to save me in the one way that I can accept."

Vanitas cannot envision a life for himself, and thanks to the way Luna's Mark is rewriting him, it's likely that a long life as his human self would be impossible even if he weren't suicidal. But though it's still not healthy behavior, his request for death is, in his own terms, taking up the hand that Noé has extended. It's a grasp for salvation by a man that cannot admit that he wants to be saved.

And that brings me back to your original point, anon. Because Vanitas reaches up for Noé's hand, and that is incredibly important, but in both the anime and the manga, we do not get to see him take it. The meaning of this depends on what definition of salvation you analyze the scene through.

By Noé's definition, we know that Vanitas cannot and will not be saved. As he says in the beginning, Noé is going to kill him someday. There will be a day when he will fail to grab his hand, and Vanitas will finally fall to the gravity of his doom. So in that way, it makes sense that even in the most optimistic of scenes, we have to cut away before Vanitas can actually take Noé's hand. He might be letting himself reach for it now, and that's a good thing, but Noé is never actually going to be able to pull him up. To show us otherwise in a scene so full of symbolism and foreshadowing would be a lie.

However, as I keep saying, Noé's definition of salvation isn't the only one at play. As much as Vanitas's death will not be prevented, the fact remains that he is still finally letting himself reach for salvation in some form. So perhaps we can cut away as soon as he starts to reach not because he'll never be saved, but because the thing that matters in this scene is the reaching itself. Noé has become a supportive constant in Vanitas's life. He's just reaffirmed that he won't change, that he'll continue to support Vanitas from beside him.

We don't need to see Noé take Vanitas's hand once he starts reaching because that is a foregone conclusion. It's Vanitas's decision to reach that needs the emphasis of being the final shot, because that's the heart of the moment.

In the manga, Vanitas reaches up, and we cut to the sunlit sky. This whole scene, in addition to the running thread of reaching hands and salvation, has an overarching symbol in the end of the rain. Vanitas and Noé's horrible fight was in the storm, the rain patters to its end as they make up, and the sun breaks through the clouds as they reaffirm their pledges to one another and Noé re-offers Vanitas his hand. It's simple but effective pathetic fallacy.

So to that end, Vanitas reaches up to take Noé's offer to help him stand (reaches up to take some version of his promise of salvation), and we cut to the sunlit sky. Noé has brought the sunlight back as he offers his hand to Vanitas. Joy and light and hope return as Noé's love for and desire to save Vanitas are reestablished. Then Vanitas reaches toward that light, and we cut to the sunbeams to make sure you know just what he's reaching toward.

This works well for the end of a story arc! The weather symbol has been a constant throughout the whole amusement park arc, so of course the chapter that marks its end has to be capped off with an image of the clouds breaking. It's a closing note that pulls together Vanitas's reaching for salvation, the weather symbolism, and 55.5's general tone of relief.

Meanwhile, the anime switches things so that we see the sunbeams first, and then Vanitas reaching for Noé's hand is the final shot of the whole entire show. And for once, I actually really like this little change! The manga's order of images works well as a resolution for its chapter and its story arc, but the anime's version works really well as a possible end for the story overall.

The VnC anime may or may not ever get another season, so for the foreseeable future, Vanitas reaching for Noé's hand is the end of the show. This gives that shot a lot of emphasis. In fact, it kind of makes it the meaning of the whole thing.

Noé spends the whole anime reaching out and trying to offer a hand of salvation to Vanitas, and the final shot of the whole thing is Vanitas letting himself reach up to take it. We don't end on the shot of their clasping hands, but the shot of the reaching, because Vanitas's decision to accept some form of salvation is the thing the whole show has been building towards. It's the decision to reach up that makes the whole story.

So though they go about it in very slightly different ways, the manga and the anime are still both making meaning out of the simple act of Vanitas reaching. That's the core of the whole thing.

And overall, though I've framed "we cut away because Noé won't actually be able to stop his fall/grab his hand" and "we cut away because the decision to reach is the important part" as two opposing interpretations, I actually think their co-existence is key. Vnc's whole story is a conflict between Noé and Vanitas's definitions of salvation. The tension of their relationship isn't "will Noé find a way to save Vanitas from death?" (He won't). The tension is "will Noé find some other way to save Vanitas before his death?" and "will he be able to recognize that alternate salvation as salvation if/once Vanitas claims it?"

VnC is a story about a doomed man who might in some way be saved. Chapter 55.5 cuts away before we see Vanitas actually take Noé's hand because he is doomed to fall someday and not reach that hand when it matters most, but also because the thing that matters in this scene is that he decides to reach up at all. Vanitas is going to die, so any hope and optimism in his story must make peace with the doom of him. His healing from his trauma and accepting love and help happens while he is hurtling rapidly toward his ending. That's the beauty and the tension of Vanoé's relationship (and the beauty and tension of VnC as a whole).

So to answer your question anon, yes. We cut away before Vanitas reaches Noé's hand because, as we're told in the beginning, he will not ultimately reach Noé's salvation. But at the same time, the whole point of the rooftop scene is that Vanitas does want to accept some kind of salvation, and he just might manage do it. It all depends on how he can be saved.

[acourtofthought]

what are your gwynriel headcanons/expectations for their book? 💙

I think we'll see Az and Gwyn deal with the Illyrians for sure and he'll eventually make peace with them as they'll eventually come around to the idea of and respect female warriors.

I think Gwyn will call Narben from the sea as well as the manuscript / small book Cassian threw in there and the information written in it will be important for them.

I'm thinking maybe Gwyn will tie Az up with his own shadows (since his shadows seem to respond to Gwyn) for their first time together. Not only does it give Gwyn the control in a situation where the control was taken from her but it fits in with what I think SJM might find kinky.

I used to think maybe Az would be into tying people up with his shadows and maybe he did that with the "lovers" he's taken over the years since we know he doesn't like "hand to hand combat" (meaning he doesn't like anyone touching him during sex) but I wonder if he's truly the dominant type in bed when it comes to someone he cares for. His mother was a servant and that's something he's struggled with so I feel like it wouldn't fit his history to demand a female bend to his will. Dominatrix Gwyn could definitely work 😁

I think Gwyn may end up being a cousin of Eris and Lucien's and she'll want to establish a relationship with them (as she has no remaining blood family) and that will cause an uncomfortable setup for Az who thinks neither Eris or Lucien are worth much (also wouldn't it be funny if the tables were turned and Lucien then wonders if AZ is good enough for his family? 😂) . This could also create a bit of conflict between she and Az which I think will be necessary because SJM has never done friends to lovers without them hitting a few bumps along the way.

Complete headcannon but I kind of love the thought of Az (and not Gwyn like Anti's like to claim) being the one SJM spoke of in SF as having one face while secretly hiding another. That his "beautiful" outward appearance hides an actual monster of sorts that comes out around enemies and Gwyn's song will be the thing that brings him back. That she'll have no problem with the monster being let out of the cage so to speak but she can call him back to her when he's about to lose himself.

I do think Gwyn has siren powers that she will use against their enemies. To me, that has nothing to do with her luring others in sexual way and is more along the lines of Rhys and Feyre being able to control others with their daemati powers. (Feyre was able to force Ianthe to pick up a rock and smash her hand so Gwyn being able to use her song to influence others to say, walk off a cliff, is really no different).

I definitely think there's going to be some sort of showdown between Merrill and Gwyn, that maybe Merrill is a bit of a villain that Gwyn will have to bring down but even when she does, it might be too late because by that time Merrill will have reached out to any remaining Asteri on other worlds and that will set up an even bigger threat to the characters of ACOTAR (leading into a multi series battle done in a multi POV beyond the traditional romance spin-offs).

I think Gwyn will suspect their bond first. She's the first full fae SJM has ever had as a possible FMC with a POV (even Aelin was only 1/4 fae) so she probably grew up on stories of the mating bond like Rhys, Cassian, and Az did. Az is so messed up over not having gotten a bond with Mor and realizing that his two brothers got one with two sisters while Lucien (not a brother) got one with the third, that I think he's completely clueless as to what's staring him in the face.

She'll definitely meet Az's mother though I'm not sure if they'll try to convince her to come back to Velaris.

I think they will end up living in the townhouse together.

I think we will eventually see Gwyn / the Valkyries in battle riding Pegasus but before that happens I think someone needs to figure out how to bring back their food source to the island where the Prison sits and figure out the illness that has prevented them from delivering foals (maybe an Elain plot?).

And that's that. 😂 For now at least.

[uraandri]

you may have seen me clowning on some ''new'' serbian words that were ''invented'' several days ago and i've been doing it in serbian so i thought i might explain all of this in english. i just need to say that this isn't the serbian goverment or any other governing body over serbian language inventing new words, this was a competition lead by the serbian diaspora that anybody who speaks the language could participate in. more under the cut cause this is gonna be long

ok so the whole situation started when mala biblioteka, a serbian library from london, decided to hold a competition for the most beautiful new serbian word; the idea was to invent new words which would replace loan words, primarily from the english language as a way to preserve the serbian language, and also to rejuvenate it by just inventing completely new words. the rules set for this competition were: 1. the word must not be recorded in any serbian dictionary; 2. it can bear resemblance to words in other slavic languages; 3. it cannot be used to replace an already existing serbian word or any other loan word that is already widely accepted. i need you to understand, as i will show you, that most of these words, in some way, break the last criteria. i also need you to understand that they wrote ''widely accepted (adjusted)'' loan words. now, idk about other languages, but the serbian grammar clearly states that the words put in brackets can replace the words that come before the brackets in an equal manner. however, no matter what language, we can all agree that accepted and adjusted do not mean the same thing. it's also a stupid thing to write given that the word šrafciger (screw driver) is a widely accepted german loan word that wasn't adjusted to fit the serbian language like, at all. if you were to pronounce it with a german accent, it would sound very similar to the german word for screw driver. because we pretty much only changed the spelling. and that's just one example of idk, several hundread other words that do the same thing? we have loan words from like 15 other languages at least but people usually only have a problem with the english loan words that entered the lexicon in the last 70 or so years. sometimes it's for a good reason and i won't get into that here but i can assure you that most of the words in this competition were not a part of that problem. i'm gonna focus only on the third rule cause checking to see if any of these really weren't recorded in some serbian dictionary is impossible, at least for me, but we'll assume that all of these are, in fact, completely new words.

also these people got money for clowning this hard. first prize was 600 euros, second 400, and third 200 euros.

let's start with the first prize: duhoklonuće as a replacement for the word depresija (depression). now. this words breaks the third rule pretty clearly as depression is: 1. a medical term denoting an illness and 2. pretty fucking widely used and accepted. not only that but the word duhoklonuće combines the words duh (spirit) and klonuće (languishing, lack of vitality). the person who submitted it (thus the person who won 600 fucking euros) explained that this word better explaines the core of the illness itself - depression, as for them it's just a lack of vitality of the spirit. if that doesn't tell you what the state of mental health is in serbia, idk what does. it's pretty fucking bleak.

prize number 2: prohujak, form the verb prohujati (to pass or blow by), to replace the word flešbek (flash back). the logic was that flash back means a moment that has already passed but has a sudden reemergance in a person's consciousness so prohujak would be an adequate replacement. it's not because the word only denotes the passing by part of the definition, and not the reemerging part but i don't think these clowns care all that much. it doesn't brake the third requirement but like. is it worth it? no.

prize number 3: prikačica. this one pisses me off to no end because the already existing serbian word it replaces is so wide spread that you kinda have to be brain dead not to know about it. it's supposed to replace the word atačment (attachment), which is often used to denote the, well, attachment you send in an email. except, there already is an exsisting serbian word, widely used not only in the email context, and that word is prilog. when you use google translate to translate the word prilog from serbian to english, do you know which word you get? that's right, attachment. fuck's sake people. prilog means something that goes with something else. it can mean an adverb, a side dish, a contribution, whatever the fuck you want, including the attacment you attach when sending an email. dumb cunts

okay, for all other words, all equaly idiotic with some exceptions, i'll put what words they were deduced from in the brackets in english directly, otherwise we will be here all day, then what they are supposed to replace and then how they fail at that task. not all of these break the third rule but that's just because we use a fraze and not a single word to express what the new word is trying to express. sounds complicated but here:

zascenak (compound; behind the scenes) - instead of bekstejdž (back stage); you could just use the fraze iza kulisa (behind the curtains/stage); also scena (scene) is another loan word from english. great job guys

beznemož (compound; without can't) - instead of mast hev (must have); you could just say nužnost or neophodnost (necessity) or idk any other way the serbian language expresses necessity, which all depend on the context

zasutravanje (compound; for tomorrow) - instead of prokrastinacija (procrastination); again, odugovlačenje exists and is translated as procrastination, stalling, protraction

opazica (from to notice) - instead of komentar (comment); idk when opaska (remark, comment, thought) stopped existing but apparently it did. notice how simmilar they look? yeah, that's because they come from the same fucking verb

uzrenje (???? no clue) - instead of introspekcija (introspection); some people would say samoposmatranje (self observation) but introspection is different from self observation, but then you could just say unutrašnje posmatranje (internal observation). which is what we already do. these are all well established terms in serbian language, especially in serbian scientific literature

saplačnik (compund; with one who cries) - this one gets 10 points for not replacing a loan word and for trying to denote something which i don't think has it's own word or fraze; it means one who cries with you but it loses 100 points because part of the explanation is "someone willing to shoulder a portion of your sorrow". so rame za plakanje (shoulder to cry on). the whole fraze could be a loan from english but even if it was. why are you complicating it? it's already widely accepted. try calling somebody your saplačnik. just try it.

hladovinarenje (to bask in shade) - not replacing anything foreign but it does replace the already serbian word hladovati which also means to bask in the shade. most people use it to mean being lazy. why do you think it has the second meaning. could it be from the first? you tell me

samosnaći se (self manage (to get to a solution)) - instead of improvizovati (to improvize); what happened to snaći se (to manage/find a solution)? it means the same fucking thing.

umosklop (compound; mind composition) - instead of majndset (mind set); you could use stav (attitude) or even način razmišljanja (way of thinking)

neželjak (from unwanted) - instead of spam (spam); when you open your email, depending on which one you use, the spam folder could be labeled neželjena pošta (unwanted mail)

beztebnost (compound; without you) - it's supposed to mean "a state without that one person"; the author of the words is assuring us it isn't the same as missing someone (nedostajanje) as that reffers to a feeling and this word reffers to a state. i cannot think of any contexts this word would be usefull in unless you wanna start using it as you would nejebica (state of not having enough sex or not having sex at all). either way it's stupid but as far as i know it does not break any of the rules of the competition

letež (from flying) - instead of džet leg (jet lag); eh, fair enough. doesn't really convey the feeling imo but it could catch on

obesuštiniti (compound; without a purpose/point/raison d'etre) - живот и прикљученија ass word. sounds like it came from before vuk stefanović karadžić overhauled the serbian language. what it says on the tin. it works i guess? it just sounds very archaic

prikuma (compound; next to godfather) - to denote a godfather's girlfriend. she's not a kuma because they are not married so she's just kum(godfather)'s girlfriend. follows the rules but you could just say kumova devojka (godfather's girlfriend)

sebić (from self) - instead of selfi (selfie). sounds similar to jebić (little fuck). no.

zrčak - (from zrcalo? mirror?) - instead of miror selfi (mirror selfie); umm. if you were to say it outloud i would assume you were trying to say cvrčak (cricket). makes no sense. good for a tounge twister. try saying that three times fast

uticajac/uticajka (from influence) - instead of influenser (influenser). sounds way to crindge, but it follows the rules.

podatika/podatičar (from data) - instead of data science/scientist? nauka o podacima (data science) and programer podataka (data scientist) exist and are used

smućak (from to mix something together) - this is an already existing word. why is it here. you wanna replace mikšejk (milk shake), i get it. but that's not by the rules babe, you're just extending the usage of an already existing word

susramlje (compound; self shame) - instead of krindž (cringe); gnar (cringe) exists, vukajlija even recorded a definition for it 12 years ago

otkazniti (compound; out punishment) - to end a punisment. do we need a word for this? if you say it out loud i am branding you as illiterate.

sviđ/nesviđ (from like/ not like) - instead of lajk/dislajk (like/dislike); i use instagram and it's set to serbian cyrilic. do you know what it says instead of like and dislike? sviđanje (like) and nesviđanje (dislike)

večnutak (from eternity) - a moment or a person you will always remember. again, same as otkazniti, you are illiterate in my eyes

premisliti (compound; over thinking) - instead of overtinkovati (to overthink); way too similar to premišljati se (to rethink, change your mind, be unsure), phoneticaly at least. it could work. maybe

rakotvoran (compound; make cancer) - instead of kancerogen (carcinogenic); kancerogen is a scientific term and it's widely accepted. why are so many people pressed about scientific terms?

raskovničar (compound; brake something? not sure what it's supposed to be really) - to use as a name for a password breaker; dešifrant (decipherer/decoder) exists and it's widely accepted.

those are all the words. i think. i don't know how to end this rant. if you have any questions or remarks (or opazice as these idiots would put it) let me know and i will answer to the best of my abilities.

[traegorn]

I need to stop doing this to myself.

(A Rant Where Trae Has Written Too Many Books This Month)

So since most of you started following me because of Witchcraft or podcast stuff, I realize a lot of you don't know how much fiction writing I do.

Primarily what I've published are comics. The big one is UnCONventional (which ran from December of 2009 to December of 2019), but I also did a steampunk comic called The Chronicles of Crosarth (which I put on hiatus in like 2018 intending to come back to... but I haven't, and I make no guarantee that I will even though over 650 of the 800 planned pages are done). Crosarth is... fine? The art isn't great in either of these, but UnCONventional carries itself with the humor.

But that's all old stuff. You may be like "Trae, what have you been producing for the last four years," and the answer is "not a lot." I got major creative block with the pandemic. Peregrine Lake, the "Northwoods Gothic" comic I was supposed to launch in 2020 (which has some characters from UnCONventional in it) didn't materialize when I said it would. What storytelling energy I had went into Stormwood & Associates and The Meatgrinder (my two actual play podcasts), but that was it.

And then 2023 happened, and the juices started flowing again.

Peregrine Lake is moving forward -- but with me just doing the writing. My urge to draw has not returned, but my urge to write has. A friend of mine, Ethan Flanagan, is drawing it, and I've written the first year of comics. It likely won't launch any time soon (the artist I'm working with is busy as hell so we want to get a shit-ton of the comic done before we launch it -- we have like the first month and a half of the comic ready?). But yeah -- it's happening. I hoping for Spring, but we'll see.

The other thing though is that I've started writing, like, novels. I've always had like twenty ideas in my head, so I figured I'd give it a shot. I decided to start with the idea I cared the least about (in case I fucked it up): A queer urban fantasy story.

In the last month and a half I've written complete drafts of two different novels in this setting, and am halfway through another one... and have another one outlined.

I, uh, had some ideas.

If you're asking yourself "Hey Trae -- what the fuck? That's a lot" you need to know a few things that aren't obvious. At one point in college, in 72 hours, I produced over 40 pages of text between three research papers. All were for 300 level courses, and I may have disassociated while writing them because I frankly don't remember most of it. But, like, they were decent papers.

One of those papers is in Google Scholar.

Anyway, yeah. I haven't been sleeping great because I've been obsessively writing, but you might ask "Why didn't you just write one and get it ready to publish?" That's a great question. Because I wrote a book, and when I was 3/4 of the way through it I realized something very important: This book would make a great sequel to a book I haven't written. I've been writing book two in a series where I haven't written book one yet.

Well fuck.

So I finished that draft, and I went and wrote book one. Now that book? That book I'm getting ready to publish. I expect to have it out in January. Part of my editing process involves setting what I think is a completed, good, revised draft down for a couple of weeks and then returning to it with fresh eyes. We're in that waiting period right now.

But I still had a bunch of energy.

So the first thing I did was a revising draft on book two (the one I wrote first), but I finished that. And had more energy. And more stories in this setting kept popping up.

So I started a third book. And I'm halfway through the first draft of that book. But then I realized yesterday... shit, this isn't book three.

This is book four.

I need stuff to happen before we get to this story.

So now I've outlined the actual book three, and am working on literally both of these books at once (I'll take a break for Christmas and then go do a final edit on Book One).

And... I'm just like... why am I like this?

I need to stop myself for a few days and get more sleep.

[tbookblurbs]

Oathbringer - Brandon Sanderson (Stormlight Archive #3)

5/5 - such rich character development; shadesmar gets fleshed out; shakadolin!

spoilers below!!!!

Unserious bit first: I believe, deeply, in my heart, that Shallan, Kaladin, and Adolin are in a throuple. Whether Sanderson knows this or not is none of my concern.

On to a real review:

The character development of everyone in this book is absolutely outstanding from Shallan's crisis on who she is and who she wants to be to Adolin killing someone in cold blood. However, the development (/reveal) that really sets this book apart for me is Dalinar. To take someone who has so firmly been established as not only an honorable man and good father, but also someone who has actively tried to atone for his past bloodletting and turn that on its head is a masterful move on Sanderson's part. Revealing that no, Dalinar didn't atone for his sins, adds another layer for me. The first time I read this book I remember physically recoiling in shock and horror at some of the things he did in the flashbacks. Now, it makes me read his every action in WoK and WoR through a lens of suspicion and sadness. He's frustrated by his reputation, but every other monarch has a good reason to be scared of him and what he might do.

Now, reading this post-Sunlit-Man (no spoilers here), I really have to think about Dalinar's actions and his belief that his idea of unity and his drive to succeed is the correct one. Not that I think Dalinar is a despot, necessarily, but ... I could see how he could get to that path.

The other big highlight of this book for me is the increased presence in Shadesmar. Reading about how spren have their own differences and disputes, as well as the different cities and ways of moving, was a lot of fun for me. I also love that Adolin learns about Maya and how she's pictured (the scratched off eyes is just so cool).

I could go on about Jasnah being more loving than anyone gives her credit for, or Renarin's twisted spren, or the beginning of Kaladin's third (?) depressive arc, or about Shallan and her abilities with the Unmade. But, if I start we'll be here all day, so I'm cutting myself off here. Excellent plot development, excellent character arcs, the plots thickens!! literally. it's hard to keep up with all the moving parts at times.

P.S. Also!! I finally put together who Zahel and Azure are!! This is only my second time reading the book and I guessed Zahel once I figured out Azure. I think I need a spreadsheet for these books and where everything/one is.

[halliescomut]

Thai BL: The Fanservice Problem...

Now here's the thing... I'm not here to offer solutions, though I do have proposed ideas that I may include at the end, but more just to breakdown my thoughts on fanservice in Thai BL.

First, we'll start with a general definition of fanservice:

I think that the connection to print media originally is important when we're looking at modern BLs series and movies, as they have a base in print media. In Thailand you have niyaai waai (“Y” novels), kaatuun waai (“Y” comics), as well as the Japanese Yaoi Manga and Korean BL Manwha that are very literally the basis for numerous series, in addition to original story BL series.

In terms of the fanservice we see in relation to Thai BLs...that goes a step further, moving out of the fictional world and into the real one. The fanservice we're now talking about is actors whose characters are couples often being paired for promotional events and they are expected to on some level act similarly to their onscreen characters. This includes individual character behavior, but also having the two actors behave in a way that could be (and is intended to be) read as romantic by fans. This includes a lot of different actions, but skinship (which I'll breakdown later), general chivalrous behavior (like serving your partner first), going on 'dates' specifically with the intention of presenting those experiences on social media. The important part about fanservice in this context is that it is always done with the intention of being seen by fans. It doesn't matter if it's a publicly streamed and hosted event, or just an Instagram post, if it's made public by the actor, or their company, it's intentional and it's likely fanservice.

What is the purpose of fanservice then?

Profit, essentially. For these companies, who both produce BL, but also often represent these actors as a talent management agency, there's a profit to be increased by presenting actors in this way. Having these 'couples' become popular to fans means continued view of future series, but also means that they can set contracts to have them promote various products. You will see the actors often promoting the same products that are used in product placement in their series. A brief list off the top of my head: the Lays chips, whatever that flavored water or juice they're always drinking in Wabi Sabi shows, Epson printers (I think it's Epson), various skin-care serums, L'Oreal hair color, the menthol inhalers, the list is likely endless. In the series, product placement gives them direct funds to actually make the shows, but by having the actors promote the same products, these companies are getting a percentage of that payment also because they are also working as representation for the actor.

To make easy numbers, while Gemini's contract might have been $1000 for this post promoting this brand of Ramen, because GMMTV set-up that partnership/contract, and they represent Gemini as talent, they'll get $200 for themselves, Gemini takes home $800 minus taxes. Again, these are made up numbers and I truly hope that no one is actually getting a 20% commission, but I trust none of these companies, so I honestly wouldn't be surprised if it was higher.

But because this is genuinely how a good majority of production companies gather capital to be able to make shows, the more popular a ship is can directly equal out to how many ad partnerships they can create for them, as well as the price they can charge. In order to give an approximate view, I chose two actors from the same company, Domundi's Zeepruk and Tutor. Because of Zee's vastly higher popularity and the wide difference in follower counts I wanted to have a third actor for comparison, and so I chose PP Krit. It's not an exact match across the board, but I think gives a good view of scale. Here is the break down of their last 30 Instagram posts:

Now I'll start with some definitions of how I categorized things. Ads are things that have clearly been shot specifically to promote a product, and often have instructions in the captions on where to purchase, or specific benefits about the products. Sponsored posts are any posts where they tag a brand in the caption, but it doesn't have the detail of the Ad posts, or posts of them at a place or event where they were invited to attend by the brand for the purpose of being photographed there. Self-promotion is trailers, photos from their series, or fan events. And finally candid is any pictures that are just there for the fun, thirst traps, vacation pics, pics from behind the scenes of events, and while few of these are actual 'candid' pictures, they're not for the purpose of promoting a 'brand' in particular (outside of the fact they are all clearly intend to promote the 'brand' of the actor). The Couple+ 'whatever' is the same as listed above, but is for any posts that include the other half of their acting pair (meaning Yim, Nunew, and Billkin). The Couples Candid is only found once on a post from Tutor, and is clearly taken when they were filming their Tiktok BL short, but there's no tags for the short series, nor instructions on where to watch it, so I'm calling it a candid post. For PP Krit, there are two posts that I'm categorizing as 'Self-Sponsored' as one is for PP's own brand (Caremate) and the other is for a Car Repair shop owned by a family member. Later when I do math with this information those posts won't be included in the 'potential profit' as I can't guarantee he was paid, and if he was I doubt he charged his standard rate.

Looking at Tutor 7/30 of his latest Instagram posts are ads/sponsored and 5 of the posts are 'couple' posts, meaning they also feature Yim. For Zee 10/30 are sponsored and 5 of those are 'couple' posts also featuring Nunew. It's also relevant that the earliest post I counted of Zee is from April 8, 2023, for PP is April 6, 2023, and the earliest one from Tutor is from December 6, 2022. Given that we have about 30 posts from Zee in 2 months, I'm simply not going to scroll back to December to see what the comparison is time wise, but if the ratio remained the same 10/30 in 2 months, that would equal 30/90 over 6 months, with 15 being 'couple posts'. So you can see the difference made in terms of money brought in by more 'popular' actors. If we stick with our $ 1000 per post cost for individual posts, and double that for 'couple posts' ($ 1000/per actor) that's $ 45,000.00 total brought in and $ 9,000 kept by Domundi as commission. For Tutor, in the same 6 month span, he (and partially Yim) brought in $ 12,000, with Domundi keeping $ 2,400 as commission. That's a marked difference for Domundi. And completely ignoring the very high likelihood that Zee is probably bringing in 2 to 3 times what Tutor his because of his popularity and longer time in the industry. If we look at those same number with PP, he has 15/30 posts that are Ad/Sponsored, at $ 1000 per post that's $ 15,000 directly in PP's pocket essentially, since he has his own independent company that represents him. Which causes it's own complications, as he has many more sponsored and ad posts on his company account, many of which he also appears in with Billkin. (Sidenote: I actually find it fascinating that there's no sponsored/ad posts featuring Billkin on his personal account, in fact it's surprisingly rare for him to post Billkin on his account at all outside of stories, at least recently.) So all of this to say, you can see how having these actors promoted in pairs is more profitable for the company as far as ad promotion.

The additional benefit is we're looking at is fans being able to follow pairs through different stories. Like many fans of media, we will often find actors we enjoy, and then proceed to actively work to watch different projects they are in because we like them, find them to be incredibly talented, think they're handsome, etc. This general expectation is capitalized on by companies by having pairs act opposite each other in multiple stories. At this point for ZeeNunew and TutorYim, we've seen both in the Cutie Pie series, but both also have future work to look forward to. I've previously mentioned the BL Tiktok shorts with TutorYim, and they are going to be the leads in Middleman's Love, which is due to come out at the end of the year. ZeeNunew have a new film, After Sundown, as well as new series The Next Prince, and will be returning as Lian and Kuea in Naughty Babe as second leads. All of these future shows and series are produced by Domundi, meaning they will get a portion of profits from appearances, merchandise, etc. that goes along with those series, as well as the potential ads or product placement in the shows. There’s also a high likelihood that product placement in Naughty Babe will garner a higher price, as it’s a spin-off of an already popular show with already popular actors, where Middleman’s Love, as the first series showing Tutor and Yim as leads, would be ‘cheaper’.

Fanservice as perceived by Fans

Now this can be difficult to break down, because it all depends on the fan. Fanservice as a concept is widely understood by Thai fans. They actively recognize that it exists, and they enjoy it. Other East Asian countries also recognize that Thai BL employs fanservice, and while they accept and enjoy it, they generally do not want to see the practice taken up by BL actors in their own country. In fact, it’s generally rare for actors in BL series in Japan, Korea, Taiwan, etc., to have actors paired for multiple series, outside of appearing as the same characters over various series. The first to come to mind is the characters of Bo Xiang and Zhi Gang from HIStory 3 having in a small guest appearance in HIStory 4, played by the same actors, Wilson Liu and Zhang Han Yuan. Because they are rarely kept as an acting pair, fanservice outside of the actual scripted media is not expected and would have little benefit.

Moving away from East Asian, very particularly to Western, audiences where fanservice is something that many media consumers ONLY expect to see in the media itself, never outside of it. Speaking as a western fan myself, I was genuinely surprised at the amount of ‘bonus content’ that is the expected norm with Thai BL’s. The fan meets, sponsored events, concerts, the vlogs and excursions, the behind-the-scenes content, all of it is generally beyond what I am used to as an avid media fan. Director/or actor commentary, behind the scenes documentaries, while popular generally fell out of favor with the decrease in popularity of physical DVDs, as it was originally intended to be a selling point of purchasing DVDs instead of VHS. (But honestly, that’s a different post.)  And observing the behavior as someone with the perspective of a western fan, it is both the requisite behaviors of fanservice, as well as the difference in cultural norms, that causes confusion and blurs lines. The number one thing that is seen as surprising by western fans of East Asian media, is skinship, particularly skinship between two men.

The concept of skinship isn’t directly unfamiliar to western people but is generally something that occurs between direct family members (parent-child or siblings) or between romantic couples. In East Asian culture it’s moves beyond familial and romantic bonds to include all platonic bonds as well. You can expect to see skinship practiced between any two people who are close and feel affection for each other. So, in the context of fanservice and Thai BL acting pairs, not every occurrence of skinship (hugs, holding hands, sitting especially close, playing with hair, fingers, etc.) is fanservice, but it is a tool in the fanservice armory. Given that it is a cultural norm, and that many of these actors are at least well known to each other and friendly, it is likely an easy one to enact in the name of fanservice.

Watching these interactions through a western lens however, causes the viewer to more easily see the behavior in a romantic context. And there’s honestly a lot of factors that play into that, the biggest being ‘masculinity ideals’ where most western cultures don’t promote or encourage men to show affection outside of family (generally strictly parents or children) or romantic couples. Then you also have good ol’ homophobia, men don’t want to show too much affection towards other men for fear of being seen as gay. And this is a very broad sort of description, as the ‘norms’ for what is acceptable platonic contact will of course differ in immigrant families, or indigenous communities, or among black Americans, even just geographically. I’m just a white person speaking from their own experience and observation, though I do have the benefit of knowing, working with, and interacting with a remarkably wide variety of humans.

Why is Fanservice a ‘Problem’?

If it’s widely understood that fanservice is an extension of the acting, that it’s very often something required by contract, that it’s not an indicator of a romantic or sexual relationship, then it’s not a problem. But that’s not widely understood. And that lack of understanding or even the preference of fans to ignore that knowledge has created a problem in the Thai BL industry. We’ve watched over the last several months personal attacks on actors for ‘queerbaiting’ (which is a term intended ONLY for fictional characters), fan clubs being upset over actors going to appearances alone or without the other half of their acting pair, personal attacks on close friends of actors (very particularly female friends), and even the attacking of an employee and friend of an actor for ‘pushing the fanservice agenda’. What is intended to be cute and fun, is turning into something that is having real life negative effects, both on the actors themselves, but also people connected to these actors. It’s also spreading beyond Thai BL, with fans (mostly western fans) being upset at non-Thai actors for not engaging in fanservice.

Fanservice, by virtue of it being monetizable, also indirectly exploits the Queer community. This is something that’s recognized and often brought up by western fans, as culturally, we’ve reached a point where the expectation is that Queer media will cast Queer actors in roles. This is done specifically in an attempt to help Queer actors to get more roles in the entertainment industry in general (which is a worthy goal) but is also only considered in the context that while being an out Queer person in the West is easier/safer than in many other places around the world. Many Western nations have not only marriage equality, but anti-discrimination laws that give additional protection to Queer people. And even with these laws there are still hundreds of thousands of Queer people who don’t feel comfortable being openly out in all aspects of their lives. In many East Asian countries, legal protection against discrimination is not guaranteed, and even in those countries with anti-discrimination laws, there’s often caveats. And that’s completely setting aside societal discrimination, which would be a top concern for these actors. Taking Thailand specifically, homosexuality isn’t illegal, but there are no laws in place for marriage equality or even the recognition of same-sex relationships. While there are anti-discrimination laws in place, those rest on the ability of a Queer person to PROVE discrimination, which opens its own can of worms.

So, what I’m saying in regard to monetizing or exploiting the Queer community, is that it is understandably frustrating for actual Queer people in Thailand to see actors ‘performing’ queerness through fanservice, and being rewarded for it, while many regular citizens are living in situations where being out could be damaging to their livelihoods, cause loss of friendships or family relationships, and even put them in physical danger. Now, are some of these actors part of the Queer community? We know for certain that some are, we know for certain that some aren’t, but the vast majority we don’t have any concrete knowledge of their sexuality or Queer identity (and we are NOT entitled to it!).  But it would be understandable and reasonable, given the current political and societal landscape of many of these countries, that any actor would have to very seriously consider potential ramifications of being out. Like any Queer person anywhere, there’s a laundry list of considerations that have to be addressed. Top of the list is ‘Would I be physically safe if I came out?’ but you also have to consider possible negative effects on your career, the potential limitations if you want to move outside of BL to mainstream content. We also have VERY clear examples of societal discrimination and hatred towards openly Queer actors, both from ‘local’ fans as well as international fans. But we do very often see BL actors being openly supportive of their local Queer community, promoting proactive voting in elections, and even this past week making appearances at PRIDE events. This is in addition to potential work they are doing quietly to support the community, like donating to non-profits that work to assist or advocate for Queer people, both individually and as a whole.

So, What’s the Solution?

I have no idea. I stated in the very beginning that I’m not here to give solutions. (That’s above my pay-grade.) But I do have some ideas. Now, these are not going to be the easiest for many BL fans to hear, I’m sure. They bother me too, to be honest.

I think an excellent first step is to have companies be upfront about whether fanservice is part of actor’s contracts. We know for a fact that BOC does not contractually obligate fanservice, but any other production or management company that works in BL more than likely does, though the scale and level of expectation may vary. I don’t 100% know if this would actively work, at least initially, because the actors themselves are aware that fanservice can help to raise their popularity, which enables them to be contracted for ads, sponsored social media posts, and appearances, which is how most of these actors make the majority of their money, NOT through the pay they receive for their actual acting work. So, they may perform fanservice as it’s currently known even if it’s not contractually required, but I do at least prefer the actors being in control of the level of fanservice they take part in, if any.

A second step, or option, is to have companies not solely send actors to events in their ‘pairs,’ and not keep them in the same pair for multiple series. I think if a company took the step and intentionally mixed up their ‘pairings’, specifically those from lead roles, then we would see less direct attachment to the ‘pairs’ and more to the actors as individuals. This could help in the long term prevent the fallout we’ve recently seen from acting pairs “breaking up,” very specifically the hateful attacks we’ve seen directed at the separate parties. But I think it could also prevent the fans from ‘choosing sides’ as I’ve also been seeing frequently in online BL spaces. In other direct online discussions, I’ve likened it to having a friend couple break up, and all of the other friends in the group essentially have to pick a side. Sometimes, you knew one person before they were a couple, and you stick with them. On occasion, one of the people will have done something terrible, and even if you knew them first, you stick with the other person. But often these are people who became your friend already a couple, and neither really did anything wrong, they just grew apart…so is it right to throw one aside in favor of the other?? Or is it more reasonable and realistic to maintain friendships with both separately? In a similar fashion, when BL pairs go their separate ways, isn’t it more reasonable to continue to follow them separately, assuming you find them both to be equally talented, versus putting one aside?

As a supplement to my suggestion of not maintaining static pairings I made this lil picker wheel with the actors at GMMTV...

…to be honest I’m quite intrigued by the idea of First and Gun. Both are phenomenal actors. I can picture the vibe of a potential story, based mostly on my desire to see Gun as a homme-fatale. PICTURE IT: Gun is a sultry assassin, beautiful and deadly, First is the ever-weary federal agent on his tail…but he begins to find an interesting connection amongst Gun’s ‘victims’, they’re all users and abusers, arguably far more detrimental to society than Gun himself. As he tracks down Gun and learns more about him…he begins to fall for him. In the end…does he stay true to the commitments he made to his country, or does he breaks those promises in favor of following his heart??

Anyway...this was 3,500 words. Hopefully some of them made sense. PLEASE share your thoughts, if you have any on this subject. I'd be especially interested if you are outside of the US.