#i miss my calc class in high school SO BAD

[outer-edges]

ugh i forgot how much better writing papers makes me feel. like i always am like killing myself on the road to writing a paper, but once i actually engage with the academics my brain is like "YES!!! FINALLY!!! SOME GOOD FUCKING FOOD" and i get so giddy whenever i get on a roll. its srsly like ripping a line.

[blankingbloom]

5/26/24

Dear Angelica (aka future me),

Hey! How are you? Before I start my thousands of questions, let me first say, congratulations on graduating and finishing your senior year of high school!!! this must be a bittersweet moment for you, as I am experiencing this at the moment as a junior watching the grades above me graduate and do senior activities. Graduating is a once in a lifetime moment, not everybody gets to graduate due to unfortunate circumstances, but congratulations! Thank you so much for staying strong, the k-12 system is literally horrible lol. I just wanted to say, I (17 year old Angelica) will forever be within you. I am you, but I want you to have no regrets or wising to be me because “life was so carefree” 💀💀 naw it’s not I’m suffering rn lmfao I have 3 summer classes, a job to juggle and volunteer opportunities to catch up on and college apps 😿 whomp whomp. I so desperately want to be you right now! It may feel insufferable at the moment and you feel lots of bittersweet feelings and loneliness being unleashed from hell (prison) (kleinisd) (kleinhigh); you should know that there is a whole chapter ahead of you and you’ve achieved a milestone! When something ends, a new opportunity arises. I hope you’ll feel better soon, knowing how I feel now will probably affect you 10x deeper (you’ll understand). Highschool for me was no fun adventure; I was barely sociable, barely any friends (like a few ofc I’m not a loser), I felt like I wasn’t on track to be my genuine real self anytime soon, but you have the opportunity to change that through college. I need you to be stronger for me until we get our masters in compsci 💀. Be an academic weapon once more for us plz!! I know you want that so bad. I know our experience wasn’t the best, especially during covid and certain situations, but there is a whole life ahead of us, that is depending on our actions. I trust us to keep it up! BTW Im missing a ton of the 2023 seniors, I can’t believe that it’s real. It low key hurt seeing everyone I had classes with especially in financial math, english, photography, and a&p graduate. It’s so bittersweet it low key hurt my feelings, especially seeing everyone I grew up with who were a grade above me. I don’t want to forget them at all, I want to remember who they are! I never peaked in high school, but I’m never going to see these people again, unless it’s by a rare chance someday, I doubt they would recognize me. I guess I just grew attached. Anyways, I have some questions LOL.

1. What is our plan after graduating Highschool? What college are we going to?

2. Did we end up submitting any of our SAT/ACT scores?

3. What’s your favorite song currently?

4. Are we still dating Ben?

5. Did we make any new friends?

6. What is your college essay about?

7. What made us stronger?

8. How was senior year? Was it any easier taking AP classes? Do we understand pre-calc?

9. Do we still want to take comp sci?

10. What happened to your H‑E‑B job?

11. Did we get any stoles/cords for graduation or not?

12. What was our final Highschool GPA?

13. What’s our class schedule?

14. What do we look like now? Do I still have short hair? Do I still look gay?

15. Can we crochet with greater experience?

16. What’s your biggest worry?

17. Are you happy?

Thank you for reading this!! Respond to my questions soon. Goodbye! I will always be within you.

Sincerely, Angelica

____________________________________________________________

REPLY:

Hi Baby Angelica!

Since you're from the past, I have so so so much to catch you up on. Time flies by when you're consistently stressed out. But don't worry! I will answer your millions of questions first! Then we can actually discuss :)

1. What is our plan after graduating Highschool? What college are we going to?

A: We are doing Computer Engineering! After hours and hours of research, I wanted you to have opportunities in both the computer science and electrical engineering fields. I want you to have a lot of pathways so you can have tons of money and opportunities! We are going to UT Dallas. We got CAPPED from UT Austin and UW-Seattle was way out of our budget sadly. Maybe someday my love :(

2. Did we end up submitting any of our SAT/ACT scores?

A: Hell no, they were too low LMFAO

3. What’s your favorite song currently?

A: Talk by Beabadoobee, Antihero by Taylor Swift, any MSI song

4. Are we still dating Ben?

A: Yes <3

5. Did we make any new friends?

A: YES! We aren't friends with.. those girl(s) anymore. They were bad for you. WE HAVE MORE GENUINE AND KIND FRIENDS!! There is a whole world out there waiting for you. I love my friends.

6. What is your college essay about?

A: Bugs. In the UT Austin essays, we wrote about photography, allergies, tamagotchis, etc.

7. What made us stronger?

A: Learning to adapt, spreading love, reading people, putting ourselves in uncomfortable situations in order to grow. Being with likeminded people!

8. How was senior year? Was it any easier taking AP classes? Do we understand pre-calc?

A: PRE CAL WAS MY MOST HATED SUBJECT. It is so fricking hard I dont think I ever understood the concepts. The AP Classes had lots of work in it but you managed your time fine and it was never that serious anyways (except AP 2D art) that sucked a lot. Senior year was shit im not even gonna lie. I didn't even attend like 98% of the events LOL. Fuck no I am not going back!

9. Do we still want to take comp sci?'

A: Computer Engineering babe dont sweat it

10. What happened to your H‑E‑B job?

A: OUR LAST DAY WAS TODAYYYYYYYY

11. Did we get any stoles/cords for graduation or not?

A: One stole for NHS, one stole for DUDU CREDIT!

12. What was our final Highschool GPA?

A: 4.6/6.0 LMFAOOO

13. What’s our class schedule?

A: -1st period: Late Arrival (Used to be Photography 4)

A: -2nd: AP Art History

A: -3rd: Photojournalism/Office Aide

A: -4th: AP Psychology/Interpersonal Studies

A: -5th: AP 2D Art

A: -6th: AP Pre-Cal (idk how u survived but girl... never again)

A: -7th: Early Release

14. What do we look like now? Do I still have short hair? Do I still look gay?

A: You got the short hair back and we still look gay asf. We have new pink glasses though and they're see through! We still have bangs. Shit load of stretch marks though smh. Im like 115 pounds now.

15. Can we crochet with greater experience?

A: fuck no

16. What’s your biggest worry?

A: If my roommates will like me, I'll feel lonelier, money, If ill be smart enough for college, if my friends now will still want to hang out with me :(

17. Are you happy?

A: I could be happier but I am okay! Not stressed right now :)

[oflgtfol]

all this hate for calculus as if it isn't the best area of mathematics. insert pensive emoji

[badboyjuyeon]

me plus you

Pairing: Eric x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 4.6k

Summary: You have to tutor Eric in calculus, but you’re struggling in calculus and Eric doesn’t actually need help.

This was not happening. You rubbed your eyes again as if that was going to change the 0/100 that you received from missing your latest calculus quiz. It didn’t matter how many A’s you got in your past quizzes, a zero would definitely damage your grade. You shoved the test in your bag and made your way towards the teacher’s desk. 

“I missed yesterday’s class so I had no idea that I missed this quiz. Is there any way that I can make this up?” You asked your teacher, hoping that she might spare some pity and excuse this quiz. This was out of character for a straight-A student like yourself and you knew that she had a soft spot towards you. 

“Unfortunately, it was a unit quiz and you missed it. If you read the syllabus, it explicitly states that there are no make-up opportunities...” She began in a stern voice which eventually turned softer when she noticed the panicked look on your face. “...But knowing how you have always done well in this class, I would be willing to offer extra credit if you join the tutoring center.” 

“Consider it done!” You gave your best fake smile as you tried not to think of all the free time you were about to lose. It was your fault, after all, for sleeping in on the day you knew you would have the quiz. Maybe you turned off your alarm because you were struggling in the last few classes and scared to receive a failing grade. Maybe you closed your eyes for “five more minutes” because you didn’t know how to ask for help since you’ve never needed to before. 

As you turned to leave, you noticed Eric Sohn push his way from the back of the classroom. He avoided eye contact with the teacher as if that would make him invisible.

“Eric I would like to meet with you.” Your teacher called out to him as he had one foot out of the doorway. 

“Aww man, I was so close to escaping.” He muttered under his breath. You bit back a smile at his comment and watched him step back into the classroom. You brushed past him as you left to go sign up for the tutoring center. Eric envied you for being able to walk free, while he was going to be stuck getting yelled at. 

“Eric, you’ve been failing all of the recent quizzes. I spoke with your coach and we agreed that you can’t play on the team unless your grades improve.” She shook her head in disappointment. 

Eric could not believe what he was hearing. All his practice would have gone towards nothing. He could feel his dreams of becoming a professional baseball player slip away, all because of this one stupid class. “I promise I’ll do better on the next one, just please let me stay on the team.” 

Your teacher sighed, “You said that the last time. You still haven’t taken up my recommendation of going to the tutoring center. Another peer might be able to help you better. If your next few grades improve after tutoring, then we’ll talk.” 

Eric headed towards the library during his lunch period, which he never would have done under any other circumstance. He preferred to be outside playing basketball with his friends than being cooped up in the library. After signing his name, he sat down on an empty table and waited to be assigned to a tutor. When he tried to look for another familiar name on the tutor list, he noticed yours scribbled neatly with your perfect font-like handwriting. You’ve probably never failed a quiz in your life, let alone the past few quizzes. Eric groaned. How did he let himself slip up in this class? He had a pretty high GPA, but this class was dragging it down from its highest potential. 

He flipped through the notebook he dedicated to calculus and was met with empty pages. If only he didn’t stay up late studying for his other classes, he would have been able to pay attention during this class. But resting his eyes always seemed like a much better option. 

“Eric? Hi, I’ll be your new calc tutor.” Eric looked up to see you pull out the seat across from him. He let out a sigh of relief because you were not a complete stranger and you always got the highest grades. He would be back on the team in no time. He shot you a smile and his eyes formed crescent moons.

You returned his smile but it was only momentary, and it left as quickly as it came. “Can I tell you a secret?” You fidgeted with your fingers. 

Eric was unsure of what to make of your sudden question. He nodded his head to encourage you to continue. 

“I have no idea what’s going on in class.” You admitted to him, though this was not something you told anyone else. 

Eric let out a laugh, you had to be joking. “Don’t you need an A in this class to be a tutor?” 

“Yeah, I just always get my work done on time. My grade doesn’t reflect my understanding of the material but how well I can cheat on all of my assignments.” Upon seeing his confused face, you chose to elaborate. “I usually use photomath, that’s the only way I’ve been passing.” 

Eric’s mouth parted in shock. Why didn’t he think of using that app himself? He also couldn’t believe that you were struggling in that class. “Then I’m not crazy, she just really can’t teach. That’s why I haven’t been understanding anything.” 

“It’s not you, it’s her.” You assured him. “But can I still ‘tutor’ you because that would be the only way to make up for my last quiz?” You hoped that your desperation wasn’t too obvious. 

Eric studied your face, he never had any chance to talk to you this long. Your features were tainted with stress. He could tell that your grades mattered and that he was the only person that could help you. It wouldn’t hurt to spend a little time outside of class with you, it’s not like he had baseball practice to take away his free time. 

“Sure, I’m going to need these lessons to explain why I’m suddenly going to do amazing in this class after I start using photomath.” 

Your face lit up when you heard him accept and it was enough to ensure that he made the right choice. 

“How bad did you do on the last quiz?” Eric still couldn’t believe that you were not the nerd that he thought you were. Teachers always used your work for examples of model work and that was the only impression he had of you prior to this tutor session.

“I got a 0 because I missed class that day.” You looked away in embarrassment. The bright red 0 was still easily visible on your crumpled-up test. 

Eric placed his test marked with 65/100 next to yours. “Well I didn’t pass even though I was in class, so we can try to work on it together.”

You flipped to the chapter that the quiz was on and turned the textbook sideways so that he could also see. The library was mainly empty save for you two because the weather was nice and everyone would much rather go outside for lunch. Your table was positioned right near the window, and Eric had the perfect view of all of his friends playing baseball on the school field. He could have been there if he didn’t slack off this bad. 

No matter how many times you read the page, you still couldn’t quite get the concept down. No other class had you stuck like this one. While you were stuck rereading, Eric started attempting the first problem on his quiz. He finished in a matter of seconds and you took out photomath, a calculator app that solves literally everything, to check if it’s the same answer. 

You couldn’t hide the look of shock on your face when the answer on your screen matched the one on his paper. “Eric I didn’t know that you were a genius. You have to teach me how to do this.” 

Eric’s face also matched yours as he was also surprised at himself. He never even thought to attempt the problems before. 

“I don’t really know what I did.” He confessed but tried to walk you through his thought process. Hearing him explain the steps allowed you to think of the problem in an entirely different way and it was the only thing you needed to understand how to solve it. Your face still expressed the initial shock, but now you felt more impressed than surprised. 

Eric laughed at the irony, here he was tutoring you instead of the other way around. “I’ll have you know that just because I’m a sports guy doesn’t mean that I’m an airhead.” 

“And having A’s doesn’t exactly mean that I’m a nerd. I knew you weren’t an airhead, but sleeping during class didn’t exactly make you look the smartest.” You teased him, before asking him the real question that was plaguing your mind. “You picked it up so quickly, why did you fail the last few quizzes?” 

He switched his gaze from the paper to look straight into your eyes. “Honestly, I didn’t have any motivation to actually do the quizzes. I thought that I was screwed since I kept sleeping during class. And I have to sacrifice some classes to do better in the rest.” He answered, before moving on to the next problem. 

With him facing towards the paper, you took note of his perfect side profile. His eyebrows were furrowed as he thought about how to solve the question. Wow, his jawline was sharp and you were getting sidetracked.

Using his method, you were able to breeze through the problems. You were the type of student to follow the book, word for word, while Eric was the opposite. He was carefree and just did what he felt like, and it worked. You would’ve never thought to experiment like he did but it was exactly what you needed to do. 

“Wait I don’t get how to do these last few problems.” He interrupted you from your thoughts and you leaned closer to get a better view of the problem. You checked the steps to solve the problem from photomath and figured out how to solve it. 

While you were explaining the problem to him, Eric suddenly became aware of the short proximity between the two of you. His eyes traced your features and they subconsciously drifted towards your lips. He wondered whether they felt as soft as they looked, in a totally platonic way, of course. He shook his head to clear his thoughts. 

“That’s why you use this- Eric? Were you even listening?” You turned to face him after he stopped being responsive. Eric felt the blood rush to his cheeks. He quickly scanned the paper and pretended that he was paying attention all along. “Yeah I was listening, I understand it.” 

You spent the rest of the period working together to get through the quiz. You two were in your own world and you wouldn’t have noticed how much time went by if the library didn’t become loud, signaling the end of the period, as students transitioned between classes. The period never felt this short. 

“We are quite the team,” Eric said as you packed up your things. 

“Surprisingly, we are. Let’s meet up again at the same time next week.” You waved at him and rushed to get to your next class. 

“See you in class.” Eric watched as you left the library and looked forward to the next time he would see you.

Upon entering calculus class the next day, Eric searched for your face. He found you sitting in your usual seat near the window. Your head was down on the desk, unaware that he was approaching you. 

“Is this seat taken?” You lifted your head to see Eric gesturing to the seat next to you. You shook your head, confused as to why he decided to sit next to you instead of the back of the classroom. 

You didn’t have to worry about saving a seat for a friend because calculus was the one class that you didn’t share with any friends. You didn’t realize it until now but none of the boys you saw Eric hang out with were in this class either. At least you two would have each other now.

“Isn’t it easier to sleep in the back of the classroom?” You questioned.

“It is, but it's easier to cheat- I mean learn next to you.” He said with a cheeky grin. 

Your teacher walked in, cutting off your small talk. 

You took out your calculus textbook and notebook while you waited for the teacher to begin. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Eric scribble something on the last page of his notebook. When the teacher turned around to write on the chalkboard, he slid his notebook over to you and tapped you. 

i forgot my textbook in my locker, can i look over on yours? 

You pushed your textbook towards him and positioned it in between you two. He mouthed a quick “thanks.” 

Your teacher began explaining the new concept and you almost forgot about Eric’s presence next to you as you copied down everything that was on the board. 

“Wait, is that a four or a nine?” You whispered, trying to decipher the messy handwriting. When you heard no response from Eric, you turned to look at him for the first time since class had started. Eric’s head was resting on the palm of his hand and his eyes were closed shut. He did not just leave you to fend for yourself. You nudged his hand and his head fell onto the desk with a loud thud. 

Your teacher briefly turned around to call out whoever was interrupting her lesson but you resumed writing and Eric pretended to read the textbook page extremely closely. After she faced the board again, Eric raised his eyebrows at you, as if to ask why you disrupted his sleep. Not wanting to draw attention again, you passed him a note.

pay attention if you want the teacher to like you, trust me it works.

easier said than done, teacher’s pet.

Eric waited for you to read his note before he stuck his tongue out at you. 

You were going to deny being the teacher’s pet when you were interrupted by Hyunjae, who sat on your other side. “Can you help me with number 1?”

“Uh sure.” You responded, despite wanting to work with Eric. You glanced back at Eric, but he began working on the new problem set by himself. 

Though Eric’s eyes were focused on the paper in front of him, his ears couldn’t help but listen to your conversation with Hyunjae.  

“You’re a lifesaver, thank you so much. Can I pay you back with bubble tea after school?” Hyunjae gave you a flirtatious smile. 

Eric’s grip on his pen tightened. He convinced himself that he was only annoyed because he didn’t know how to solve the problem.

“I would never say no to free bubble tea.” You checked to see if Eric was listening from your peripheral vision once again, but he seemed to be disinterested. You weren’t sure why you kept looking back at Eric, maybe you wanted to see if he would object. Or maybe you wanted him to object. But he made no such move to stop you. 

Hyunjae beamed. “Great, let’s meet up after class. And maybe we can study for the next test together?”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “Were you just trying to bribe me with bubble tea?”

Eric’s head was facing downwards as he tried to hide his feelings of betrayal. The nerve Hyunjae had to steal his study partner. 

“And if I was?” Hyunjae challenged.

“That was a smart way to bribe me, you might not even need to study with how smart you are.” You answered. 

Eric slammed his pen down, causing you and Hyunjae to look at him. 

“Oops, it slipped.” He blurted, feeling satisfied because he interrupted Hyunjae. 

The bell rang and you rushed to copy down the homework into your planner. 

“Do you want to work on the homework together?” Eric suggested while packing up his things. “I didn’t know how to do the third set of problems.” He added in, hoping that it would convince you to work together. 

“I don’t know, I’m in high demand these days. Everyone wants to study with me.” You flaunted. Of course you would study with him, you just wanted to make him work for it. Eric rushed to follow you out of the classroom.

“Pretty please.” He pouted and gave you puppy eyes. You snorted at his attempt of acting cute, which he didn’t even need to do since he was naturally cute. 

“Okay fine, but only if you stop doing that hideous face.” You stopped to open your locker. 

Eric leaned on the locker next to yours and crossed his arms. “No one can resist this sexy face.” 

“Yeah okay.” You replied in a sarcastic tone, though you secretly agreed with him. You took a pen out of your locker and grabbed his hand. Eric held his breath and watched to see what you would do next. You wrote your phone number on the palm of his hand. “Text me. Or facetime me, whatever works for you.” You shut your locker and headed to your next class.

Eric stared at your number on his hand and smiled to himself, his heart still racing from when you touched him. 

While you walked away, you felt proud that you were able to pull that move off. But then the color drained from your face. You never said what time. The power rested entirely on Eric and when he decided to contact you. That means that you would have to wait and possibly be camera-ready all day. 

As soon as Eric got home from school, he entered your phone number and saved your contact. He wondered whether he would seem too eager if he texted you right away. You were probably still studying with Hyunjae. Eric scoffed as he thought about how Hyunjae was there instead of him. 

You stared at the black screen on your phone. Tapping on it for the millionth time, the screen read 8:15 pm. Why didn’t you specify a time? You dived for your phone every time you saw your phone light up with a notification. 

Was he even going to facetime you? You glanced around your room in horror. You weren’t able to fix it when you rushed out of the house this morning. You could not let Eric see this mess. You got to work fixing your room while you waited for him to text you. Hearing the familiar vibration, you reached for your phone, hoping it wasn’t another spam email. 

hey, it’s eric. are you free to ft and work on the hw rn? 

Eric sent the text and threw his phone on the bed. He had spent 15 minutes debating whether his text was too casual. Hugging his pillow, he anxiously waited for you to respond. 

yea i’m free

You checked your room once again to see if anything was out of place. Then you saw your reflection in the mirror. You were so caught up in fixing your room, you forgot to fix your appearance. You quickly applied something on your lips so you wouldn’t look too bad. 

After sitting down in front of a lamp so you would have optimal lighting, you picked up his facetime call. 

“Hey.” You felt your breath hitch in your throat. His hair was still wet from the shower he took just earlier. You didn’t think it was possible for him to get any hotter. 

“So how was your date with Hyunjae.” He didn’t even try to hide the bitterness in his tone. Wow, real smooth Eric. He should’ve waited a bit longer to bring it up, but he couldn’t help it. 

You laughed at his choice of a conversation starter. “It wasn’t a date, and it was actually very fun. Maybe I need to start charging you for my services. I’ll only accept payment with bubble tea from now on.” 

“Spending quality time with me is your payment.” He replied with a smug look on his face.

You shook your head. “That is not enough, I fear.” 

Eric crossed his arms and tried to look offended. “I’ll hang up right now then.” 

“Need I remind you that you were the one that begged me to help you today?” You spoke matter-of-factly. “But if you must leave, go. I’m very busy you know.” 

“Busy studying with other guys? I thought we had something special.” He dramatically clutched his heart. 

“You wish, you are yet another one of my side hoes.” 

“Your main hoe being boba?” He raised an eyebrow.

You paused to think of a witty response. “It seems you are more interested in my love life than those calculus problems you needed help with.” 

“Those problems can wait.” He shrugged his shoulders. 

“Fine, how about this? For every problem you get correct, you can ask me a question and I’ll answer it honestly.” You proposed. 

Eric smiled widely. “I like how you think. And what happens if I get them wrong?” 

“Then I get to ask you a question.” You replied. 

“You won’t be able to ask me any questions.” His cockiness was apparent from how confidently he spoke. “The first solution is 5.” 

Checking the answer to the first problem, you confirmed that it was 5.

“Since this is about your love life, do you have a boyfriend?” He asked, desperately wanting you to say no. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know? Yes, I do have one.” You watched for Eric’s reaction. Eric’s smile dropped for a split second as he registered what you said. 

“Oh really? Who? Do I know him?” He interrogated, completely dropping his previous act. 

You felt amused watching him squirm. “That’s three other problems you have to get right.” 

To your surprise, Eric continued to get the next three problems correct.

“So who is your boyfriend?” He phrased carefully.

“Hyunjae.” You said with a straight face.

Eric’s eyes grew 10 times the size they were. “Really?”

“Nah, I’m just playing. I don’t have a boyfriend.” You finally revealed the truth. 

That definitely made Eric happier than he’d like to admit. 

“You just made me waste two questions.” He emphasized by holding up two fingers. 

“Did you even need help with those problems Eric?” 

“Yes...but I figured them all out while you were flirting with Hyunjae.” He looked away from the screen. 

“I was not flirting with Hyunjae.” You lied. You did flirt a little, but that was only because you wanted to see if Eric got jealous. 

Eric rolled his eyes, not believing you. “Sure you weren’t.” 

“You have not seen me flirt, believe me, you would know.” You told him honestly. If you were going to flirt with anyone, it would be him. 

Eric’s smile returned once again. “I look forward to seeing that.” 

You and Eric fell into a routine where you met up every week to study calculus. And then facetimed after school. And then texted at night. You would work together during class, and Eric would get annoyed every time Hyunjae tried to join. 

You and Eric were prepared for the next calculus quiz and your efforts paid off. As soon as Eric got his quiz back, his first thought was to see the look on your face when he told you his grade.

At the end of class, Eric proudly dangled his quiz in front of your face, he couldn’t contain the smile on his face. 

You saw a large A on the top of the first page and you pulled him into a hug. Before you could regret acting so spontaneously, Eric hugged you back just as tightly. This was the first time you both hugged, but it felt so comforting and you didn’t want to let go. “Wow I’m so proud of you, I can’t believe you’re scoring higher than me.” You said when you finally pulled away.

“I’m coming for your throne.” Eric winked at you.

After consistently doing well in the classwork, Eric realized that he didn’t need help anymore. The tutoring sessions eventually became an excuse to meet you. 

Eric pointed at a problem, his eyes trained on yours, “Can you explain this to me?” 

“Eric, you literally taught me how to solve this.” You giggled.

“Oh, did I? Um...well I forgot. Explain it to me again?” You could never resist Eric’s puppy-dog eyes. The more time you spent with him, the more you realized how cute he was. 

“Graph this equation.” Eric had randomly said one day while you were studying at the library. 

You stared at the equation he wrote and looked back at him with confusion. “How is this relevant to calculus?”

“Just do it.” He whined. 

You reached for your graphing calculator and entered the equation. 

Staring at the shape the equation produced, you were pleasantly surprised to see that it resembled...“A heart?” 

You looked up to see Eric grinning from ear-to-ear, clearly proud that he was able to find this equation.

“Very cute Eric. This is why you urgently needed to meet up today?” You raised an eyebrow. 

“Yeah, that and I needed to talk to you about something else. My coach told me that the improvement in my grades is enough for me to rejoin the team.” Eric started, unsure of whether he should tell you that he didn’t need tutoring anymore. 

“Oh really? That’s great news!” You kept your eyes focused on the paper. You knew that him joining the team would mean your tutoring sessions would have to come to an end soon. “I’m guessing you won’t have time to study anymore.”

Eric knew that he wanted to see you every day, but he didn’t want to pretend that he only wanted to meet you under the pretense of studying. He took a deep breath before speaking. You brought your eyes to meet his when you realized that something must have been up. Eric was never quiet for this long. 

“I was wondering if you wanted to continue meeting up outside of school hours, just us two,” Eric asked hesitantly, waiting for your response. 

Your eyes widened. Was he asking you out? It’s not a complete reach because you two have been spending a lot of time “studying.” You were afraid that you were taking his words in the wrong way. “You want to study outside?” 

“Oh...no, no studying. It would just be us meeting up outside, no calculus.” He looked at the floor. 

“Eric Sohn, are you asking me out on a date?” You asked him. 

“Only if you’re comfortable with that. I’ve liked you for a while and I didn’t really need help anymore but I still want to see you often. I understand if you don-”

You cut off his rambling with a kiss. You resisted the urge to laugh at how red his ears were when you pulled away. “I like you too. Finally you can buy me my long-deserved boba.” 

[nothere-notthere-nowhere]

Studying

Word count: 1704

Pairing: Natasha x Reader (platonic)

Warnings: panic attack, let me know if I missed any

Summary: Studying for an exam is overwhelming. Nat helps.

A/N: Hi! So, this is very much just me projecting my own thoughts and feelings onto the reader lol. There’s no real romance here, just Nat being a good friend. I also did not edit this, so I apologize for any spelling/grammar mistakes. 

It was late, you realized as you closed your textbook. You’d been studying for some stupid math final the next day and time had clearly gotten away from you.

Balancing avenger work with being a full-time student was difficult but you enjoyed it, for the most part. Thankfully, it was online schooling so you were able to complete work on your own time, but it was still difficult. Deciding to go back to school in your mid twenties had been a big step for you. 

You’d always hated school. It never came easy, despite being a science genius. You were what most people called brilliant. You thought it was just being creative. You thought in a different way than most people. Tony Stark had sought you out when you were fresh out of high school right before the invasion of New York. 

But, despite having a secure job working for the avengers in the compound, you had decided it wouldn’t be a bad thing to go back to school. Just because you were good at making supersuits and other technological advancement-esque stuff didn’t mean you were that smart.

For example, calc two was kicking your ass right now. Making new impact resistant polymer suits for the gang was a hell of a lot easier for you than whatever the fuck this textbook was trying to explain. 

“Stupid math,” you groaned, rubbing a hand over your face as you looked back down at the problem you’d already tried to solve four times. There was no way in hell you were going to pass this class. 

Fighting back tears of frustration as you crumpled up the paper, you stood from your desk. It was near three in the morning and you were exhausted. But you would not let yourself fail this exam. Your grade in the class was already less than acceptable and failing your final would definitely leave you with an F.

You walked to the kitchen quietly, not wanting to wake anyone. Coffee would surely settle you down and give you enough energy to make it until the morning. You had to figure this out.

“I told you to ask Tony or Bruce for help,” Natasha’s voice startled you.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” You asked, drying your eyes before you turned to her.

“No, don’t worry.” She had an amused look on her face. “You’re still on calc, right?”

“Yeah,” your shoulders slumped. “But I have to be able to do this on my own. I shouldn’t have to annoy them with questions about basic math all the time.”

“Calculus is not basic math.” Natasha snorts at you.

“To them it is.”

“Well, make sure you go to sleep at some point, okay?” The concern in her eyes was evident and you just nodded, grabbing the cup of coffee you’d just brewed.

You took a sip before making your way back to your room. The textbook sat right where you’d left it and the sight of it bright a fresh wave of tears. 

You were a scientist for the avengers, damn it. Why were you crying over math? But your parents words flashed through your brain, reminding you that you were just a stupid kid. 

The relationship between you and your parents had always been rocky. They had held you to unachievable standards and no matter how much effort you put into school, they were never satisfied. And they always made sure you knew that.

“You think you’ll get anywhere in life with grades like these?” your father had shouted at you many times. “You’re just lazy. Do you know how much money we pay for you to go to this school? And this is how you repay us? You’re embarrassing.”

Your hand shook as you picked up your pencil once again, trying to figure out that stupid problem. There were so many rules and steps and none of them made sense to you! 

When the answer you got still didn’t match the one in the textbook, you slammed your pencil down with a scoff.

“You’re so stupid!” You said to yourself, tears leaking from your eyes. You started to erase your own writing again, when you glanced at the time, half past three. You were never going to figure this out.

It was becoming hard to read the problems through your watery eyes as you fought back the tears. You had to figure this out! But it was no use, you dropped your head onto the desk, holding in sobs. 

Your thoughts began to run with your father’s words. Embarrassing, lazy, stupid. You felt that familiar sense of self-loathing begin to rise within you and you were helpless. This wasn’t even the last unit you had to learn before your final. 

You were overwhelmed and you didn’t realize that your chest was tightening or your breath was becoming short. But when you lost feeling in your hands, and your face was tense and tingling, it was obvious.

You were having a panic attack. 

You were no stranger to these, of course. But, that didn’t make it any easier. It had been quite some time since you’d had a panic attack this severe, too, which made it that much scarier. 

You slid off your chair, pressing your back against the wall and pulling your knees up to your chest. You screwed your eyes shut, the heels of your shaking hands pressing into your eyes. If you had more control over the situation, you’d have tried to quiet your hyperventilation.

A soft touch to your hand brought you somewhat back to reality.

“Y/N,” a soft voice called. Your fingers instinctively clutched at the hand that pulled yours away from your face. 

“Y/N, you’re okay. I’m right here.” Nat’s voice was softer than you may have ever heard it before. 

“Nat, I-I,” you choked out, trying to say anything.

“No, don’t talk. It’s okay, I’ve got you.” Her free hand rested on your knee, squeezing lightly. “Can you breathe with me?”

You tried to follow her soft ‘In’ and ‘out’ over and over. Your breaths were forced, almost painful as the panic refused to let up.

“Good job, dorogoy,” You felt the redhead scoot next to you, her arm wrapping around your shaking frame. “You’re doing amazing, I’ve got you.”

She pulled you into her gently. You were starting to gain the feeling back into your hands, and your facial muscles seemed to loosen just slightly. But, you were still shaking violently as you tried to stop yourself from sobbing.

“You’re okay,” Nat soothed, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “I’m here.”

You leaned into her, balling your fist up in her shirt. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” She asked after you had nearly stopped crying. 

“I’m gonna fail,” you whimpered. You felt pathetic.

“You know,” Nat sighed, “who cares?”

“What?” Her words confuse you.

“You are smart, Y/N. You already have a job, and after working for Stark, you could get in anywhere if you decided to leave. This is one class and regardless of how you do on the final, no one will think any less of you.”

“But-”

“No,” Nat cut you off. “Your grades in some stupid college class don’t matter. I promise, even if you do fail, we’ve all seen how hard you’ve worked in each of your classes. That’s what matters. Your work ethic and your commitment to your studies is worth so much more than sacrificing your wellbeing to secure a passing grade.”

“I feel so stupid.”

“You shouldn't. It’s a tough class. You should be proud of yourself for trying, even if you don’t get the results you wanted.”

“I just wanted to prove them wrong. Even if they wouldn’t know. I wanted to prove to them I was smart.  But they were right, I’m just stupid.”

Your words hang in the air for a moment. Natasha knows you’re talking about your parents. They’d all heard about the verbal abuse you’d suffered through at the hands of the people who’d raised you.

“You are not stupid.” She tells you firmly. “You are brilliant. You’ve created a new polymer that is even better at stopping bullets than vibranium while also working as a material for clothing. Doesn’t that count for something?”

“Yeah, but…”

“This is just one subject. I sure as hell can’t do calculus! You’re good at what you’re good at. I’m good at kicking ass, Clint’s good with a bow, Wanda’s good at… well magic. You’re good at science shit.”

You were silent. You knew she had a point.

“I know that won’t make you feel better about this.” Natasha explains. “But you can’t beat yourself up for this. You need to take care of yourself. Let’s go to bed, now, and we can ask Tony or Bruce for help in the morning.”

“I need to study,” you start.

“No, you need sleep.” Natasha’s voice is firm again. “You can’t sacrifice your health or your sanity for a test. You are more important than a test.”

“Okay.” You weren’t entirely convinced but, for now, your parent’s words were fading away.

Natasha helps you up before wrapping her arms around you in a tight hug. You savor the comfort of her embrace, before realizing just how exhausted you are.

“Get in bed,” Natasha nudges you towards the bed. You lay down, eyes closing as soon as your head hits the pillow. 

Nat pulls the blanket up before turning towards the door.

“Wait,” you call, hesitantly.

“Yeah?”

“Stay?” You bite the inside of your cheek. “Please?”

“Of course, dorogoy,” Natasha smiles at you as she slides into bed next to you.

“Thank you,” you mutter, laying your head on her chest as her arms wrap around you tightly. She presses a gentle kiss to your head.

You know you’ll freak in the morning when you have to think about the final again. But Natasha was here now, and Bruce and Tony would be there in the morning. It would be okay. One failed exam, one failed class-- hell, even every class failed-- was no indication of your worth. And Nat would be there to remind you if you ever forgot. 

[thechekhov]

Would you say you’re good at math? And I don’t want to ask such a vague question so let’s say the standards for how “good” you are at math depends on your age. Or the culture around you. Dependent on the people around you, would you say you can do math well? Or at least can grasp the concepts well? Because, in my opinion, how intelligent you are is based on how quickly you understand something and not how much you know.

I would say... I find this question a bit misguided. 

First of all, I you mention that you want to find out how quickly one picks up a concept has some link to their intelligence. And you may very well find proof for this theory, sure! But since you asked me I wanna say - I’m not convinced that it is as simple as you’re making it out to be, nor am I sure how math is a good vector for this discussion.

I personally believe in the theory that intellect is

 Not a static thing - changes depending on your experience, how old you are, how tired you are, how stressed you are, etc. 

 Not measurable across several different ‘types’ - there is social intelligence, spatial intelligence, numerical intelligence, tactile intelligence, etc. 

 Not capable of being standardized enough to be useful as a tool for judging other people with. 

We’ve all heard about judging a fish by asking it to climb a tree, but I concede... 

Anyway, let’s take us back to your math question.

Am I good at math?

Well, for one thing, I appreciate that you took cultural context and age into account. So you’re judging me, presumably, against my peers who have been, again, presumably, exposed to the same amount of standardized math education. So far so good.

I was terrible at math in elementary school in Russia. I got very bad marks because my handwriting was atrocious and I didn’t get fractions. Then I went to America, and suddenly math was easy for some reason. I had, in fact, missed a year of math due to my immigration to the US, but then was put into a slightly higher-level class in Middle School. I was semi-comfortable in math in high school and often helped out others in Trig and Pre-Calc, but lost track of concepts after that and haven’t taken a single math course since.

Here’s where our yardstick of ‘how quickly you understand something’ falls away into a stretch of silly-putty. 

I have spent close to a decade without having taken a single math course. 

So - am I good at math? Right now? 

No. I’m terrible.

Was I good at math before?

Sure, at one point.

When I had a good teacher. When I enjoyed going to school. When I had a relatively peaceful home life and didn’t have other things to stress about. When I had access to other people who were good at math who could help me out. 

So the real question isn’t really about how well I pick up concepts. It’s also about my environment, about my mental capacity for picking up new information, about whether or not I had the emotional stability to focus extra energy on math vs., eh, I dunno, fending off my homophobic parents. 

(For example, I was an ok student until grade 10, when my mother began to suspect I was gay and my home life tanked and my grades tanked with it). 

So you ask - am I good at math? 

The real answer is: I have no fucking clue. 

Being ‘good’ at a subject is so subjective. You have SO many things to consider beyond just cultural context and age and available education opportunities. You also have to consider how much energy a person is willing to expand on thinking about that thing. About how much they decide to care about it. Because yeah, when I was relatively comfortably closeted, I fuckin LOVED thinkin’ about Trig. I could allot my braincells to it. But after I had other priorities in my life like ‘don’t let mom find you using the wrong pronouns’ and etc, you bet your ass my Shits-To-Give about Pre-Calc flattened to Z E R O and absolutely no one could convince me looking at some Funky Numbers was gonna be worth my time. 

The real issue with asking people these questions is that you are trying to judge a person by how good they are at something - but that’s not something that is static, nor something that you can ever see in full. The effort it takes someone to be good at something is always invisible to onlookers. Someone could be really good at a thing and expand no energy on it. Someone could also be really good at something but spend all their time practicing to be good at that thing.

And in the end, the important thing is - DOES IT MATTER? 

How ‘intelligent’ someone is doesn’t define their worth. Whether or not to interact with them. How ‘good’ a person they are. I’ve met people who were, by all definitions, Dumb because they didn’t succeed in the arbitrary education system, or because they didn’t test well, or didn’t do well under pressure when asked rapid questions. But they were incredibly caring and had a social intellect WAY beyond my own and were much more successful. 

I’ve also met plenty of ‘smart’ people who thought that the fact that they were living cushy lives and were free to binge-read wikipedia articles instead of working part-time jobs to support their family at age 15 meant that they were somehow ‘more intelligent’ than some poor, exhausted kid who was using their energy to survive instead of memorizing random formulas. 

And I get that you’re trying to level the playing field, I really do - but no matter how much you struggle to compare me to other people who are like me, or to other people still, our experience of learning math will nonetheless be different for such a variety of reasons that in the end, whatever answer you get will be absolutely pointlessly empty.  

... I realize that this also sounds very lecture-y but this is something that’s very close to my heart because SO many people think themselves ‘dumb’ for not understanding things ‘quickly enough’, for taking time to grasp something despite being dead tired, for needing someone else to explain it to them in different words... for not succeeding in a system that only really measures one thing - one VERY narrow ability - The ability to Learn Information By Listening To a Lecture And Looking At A Blackboard For 45 Minutes Every Day, 5 Days A Week While Ignoring Other Real-Life Pressures You May Or May Not Be Facing.

And some of us may be really good at that.

But please, let’s not pretend that that somehow makes us smarter.

...

In my opinion, the real measure of intellect is how much you WANT to learn new things, even when you don’t necessarily NEED to. 

It’s not about success, and it’s not about crossing the finish line first.

It’s about inquiry, and it’s about reaching for something new every time you get the chance. 

[forevfangirlwrites]

Okay so either a teacher AU, secret relationship AU, more actress Annabeth, or cheerleader Annabeth? I love all of your writing so really anything is amazing

Betting is not encouraged at Jupiter High but that doesn’t stop half the students from forming a pool.

“They hate each other,” Katie asserts, rolling her eyes at the Stolls’ nonsense.

“Or, and hear me out,” Travis holds up his hands, “they’re actually flirting with each other.”

“Who flirts by being mean? That’s ridiculous.”

Travis, looking taken aback by her outburst, rubs the back of his neck meekly. “Some people do…”

Katie rolls her eyes again and turns back to the math homework incidentally assigned by the subject of conversation.

Ms. Chase was one of the hardest teachers at the school, but damned if everyone that entered didn’t walk out with a comprehensive understanding of mathematics.

Silena Beauguard, a senior, who had hated every moment of the class the year before, now sang praises of Ms. Chase and just how easy Calc was now. The girl had even decided to get a math minor.

Katie’s not quite at that level yet, but there’s no time to dwell on it as the bell rings.  

“I’m telling ya, you should get in on this,” Connor says. “Will bet twenty that they don’t actually hate each other but aren’t flirting either.”

“What kind of bet is that?”

Connor shrugs. “Don’t know, but it’s easy money.”

Shaking her head, she looks around in search of the other Stoll. Travis is lagging behind, suspiciously quiet, which usually means he’s planning some obnoxious prank on her.

“Travis, hurry up, we’re going to be late,” she urges against her better judgement.

Surprisingly though, he complies, and they make it to history with time to spare.

Mr. Jackson is the kind of teacher that encourages dressing up for a mock historical debate. But his energy is a bit contagious and makes the topics bearable.

He’s got a wide smile on his face today as he starts writing on the board, just as the second bell rings.

“Today,” he turns to address the class. “We’re going to be covering—“

A knock on the door interrupts him and everyone turns their attention to the front of the class.

Despite not getting along, the two teachers often interact with each other. Because standing at the door is none other than Ms. Chase.

“Sorry to interrupt,” she begins in a tone that doesn’t sound like she’s that sorry. “But Ka—”

She interrupts herself as her eyes land on the green letters on the board. “Are you talking about Hamilton? The musical?”

Mr. Jackson, keeping a very neutral face, responds, “Yes. There’s a lot to be learned from it.”

“Are you sure it’s not an excuse to just listen to a musical?”

The conversation is wholly civil with no undercurrent of anything in particular, but the whole class is watching in raptured silence.

“What brings you here Ms. Chase?” Mr. Jackson asks instead of replying.

“Katie.” Ms. Chase turns to the class. “You forgot your homework on the lunch table, I saw it when I was walking by.”

She takes two steps into the classroom as Katie, ears burning red, hastens to meet her. “And given that it’s for my class, I thought I’d return it,” Ms. Chase continues.

Katie mumbles a thank you as she accepts the paper, and hurries back to her seat, not wanting more eyes on her.

“How nice of you, Ms. Chase.” Mr. Jackson says. It’s a complete sentence but it feels like there’s things left unsaid as she turns back to look at him with a raised eyebrow.

“I’ll let you get on with your class,” is all she says before stepping back out of the room. Mr. Jackson turns back to the board as Connor whispers to Travis.

“Dude, did you see? He was totally looking at her when she handed Katie her homework.”

Katie rolls her eyes. Of course, this bet business comes up again.

“But did you hear they way they were talking to each other,” Miranda whispers from behind her, evidently hearing the conversation. “They hate each other.”

Before Katie can shush all of them, Mr. Jackson turns back to the class.

“Anything I’m missing over there?”

Stifling a groan, she shakes her head.  “Actually, Mr. Jackson,” Connor speaks up, immediately overriding her answer.

“We were wondering if you’ve ever seen Hamilton?”

Thankfully, Mr. Jackson is also the kind of teacher to cut some slack, because he responds.

“Yeah, we saw it last year and it’s an incredible stage performance.”

“We?” Connor asks again, in an all too innocent voice.

Any other teacher and he would have been reprimanded but Mr. Jackson looks too caught off guard by the question to even say anything.

“Yes…me and my…girlfriend.”

She will never forget the moment that the whole class collectively lost their shit.

A silent shift, but the bulged eyes say everything, and even Mr. Jackson looks uneasy at the way they are staring at him.

“Right, so let’s get back on track. Hamilton…”

And despite her best intentions to try to pay attention to what he’s saying, the note passing between the Stolls get the better of her as the betting pool started to crumble.

-.-

“Maybe she doesn’t know he has a girlfriend and that’s why she’s flirting?”

Travis nods thoughtfully. “But then why would he flirt back?”

“Guys, lets face it, they don’t like each other.” And with that she turns back to her locker, her final words on the matter.

“Don’t know about that Katie Kat,” Travis says, still contemplating how to interpret this news. He’s not the only one, the entire class burst into conversation as soon as the bell had rang and PE next period made it all too easy to continue talking.

“I agree,” Connor adds with a smirk. “You’re pretty bad at figuring out when people like each other.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She turns angrily towards Connor, only to find him cackling. Travis remains, once again, suspiciously quiet. And once again, before she can think further on what that means, the bell rings.

Walking into math has never been so…charged before today. The entire class is buzzing when Ms. Chase claps for attention.

“Alright class, we’re going to pick up where we left off on—”

But it’s difficult for anyone to pay attention and even Ms. Chase stops in the middle of a formula to address the obvious tension.

“What’s going on with you all today?”

Suddenly the whole class is silent. Her sharp grey eyes scan the class before landing on Travis and Connor.

“Well boys, you always know what’s going on.” She waits for an answer.

“Well,” Travis starts (after a lot of nudging from Connor). “We found out that Mr. Jackson has a girlfriend.”

The surprise is evident on her face. It’s rare to see Ms. Chase look taken aback, but she composes herself quickly enough.

“Good for him, why does that matter to all of you? A teacher’s personal life is allowed to be private.”

One day Connor will stop himself from speaking without a filter. Today is, clearly, not that day.

“Have you met her?”

Ms. Chase is exactly the kind of teacher that would never let anything like this stand but by some miracle of the gods, she’s not only taken back for a second time, it’s enough for her to not actually reprimand him.

“I..uh..yes, I have, not that it should matter to you.” Her composure, however, is lost on the entire class that, for the second time in that day, collectively loses their shit.

“Quiet!” Ms. Chase is still commanding enough to get everyone to shut up though.

“What’s she like?” Some girl in the back asks.

“She’s fine, now that’s not the point of—”

A loud knock at the open door has everyone’s attention.

And of course, of all the teachers, Mr. Jackson is standing there with his arms crossed.

“She’s great actually,” he says loudly.

For the first time, Ms. Chase actually rolls her eyes at the words.

“It doesn’t matter, that should not be a topic of discussion.”

Mr. Jackson nods. “You’re right. But for the record, she’s great.”  And with that he’s walking away again.

Ms. Chase actually rubs her face, letting out a huge sigh. She mutters something that Katie can’t make out.

“Okay, that’s enough, we’re getting through this formula now.”

She doesn’t know how they get through the class.

-.-

“Maybe—”

Katie cuts him off before he can say another word.

“Connor, please do not deposit another theory, I’ve heard like fifteen today.”

“Can you blame me? This is big news!”

She can’t, honestly. Despite her best efforts, she can’t stop thinking about it either. “No, I don’t blame you. I just can’t right now. Plus, I have a theory of my own I need to test.”

She shuts her locker and turns to her right. “Travis? Can I talk to you for a second?”

School’s out and most of the students have left, she’s only staying behind for Art Club and Travis and Connor usually chill with her for a bit before driving off. It’s been a long day, but she thinks she’s figured out at least one thing from all this chaos.

Connor immediately peaces out, walking down the hall as Travis looks nervously at her.

“What’s up?”

“Is there anything you want to tell me?”

She can see a hint of red flushing is face. “I don’t—”

“I’m SO sorry to interrupt but you guys NEED to see this NOW!” Connor’s whisper yelling and beckoning them towards a classroom door.

Without even looking at her Travis immediately jogs to his brother, Katie following behind, shaking her head.

The door is only open a little bit, but it’s enough to hear what’s going on.

“I can’t let you shit talk my girlfriend!” Mr. Jackson’s voice is clearly recognizable.

“I didn’t shit talk and it was so not the time to bring that up.” Ms. Chase’s clear voice is also obvious.

“Okay maybe I shouldn’t have said that, but I can’t let anyone say something bad about MY girlfriend.”

“I didn’t even say anything bad!”

“You said fine, FINE. Are you kidding me? That’s—”

“I think I should be allowed to say whatever I want.”

Katie looks over at Travis and Connor, both of whom are staring with wide eyes at the whole exchange. There’s no way she just said that.

“No.” Mr. Jackson’s voice sounds like a pout.

Ms. Chase sighs. “You’re so stubborn.”

“I have to be to date a goddess.”

There’s a small chuckle at the words. “You’re actually ridiculous.” Ms. Chase sounds unbelievably fond.

“Yeah,” he agrees. “But you still love me so I’m not gonna change.”

They can hear the smile in her voice when she responds. “I would never change you.”

“Even when I disrupt your class?”

There’s a beat of silence. “You’re lucky I love you.”

There’s another chuckle followed by more silence and Connor nods back in the direction of the hallway. They immediately run all the way down to her locker.

“NO FREAKING WAY!” Connor is leaning against the lockers as Katie automatically starts opening hers even though there’s nothing she needs to get from there.

“You can’t tell anyone.”

Connor looks at her. “What? Are you crazy?”

“Look, they clearly want to keep it private. We shouldn’t spill.”

Connor makes a face. “I mean it, Connor.”

“Ugh! Fine!” He turns towards Travis. “If you weren’t my brother, I would have kicked you for choosing someone with morals.”

And with that, he walks towards the doors.

It’s the last bit of confirmation she needs. She turns back to Travis who’s still nervously teetering close to her.

“So? Figure out if there’s anything you want to ask me yet?”

Travis makes a face. “You’re making fun of me!”

Smiling, she steps closer to him. “No, I’m not. I’m not mean to people I like.”

The sparkle in his eyes at her words makes her heart soar and she think she gets why Ms. Chase puts up with Mr. Jackson. It’s easy when the other person makes your heart flutter like that.

A/N: Hello! Thanks for the prompts! Another person also requested a teacher AU so I combined that request with yours and added some secret relationship in there! Told from an outside perspective but I hope you liked this! 

[eyeofthedrgn]

I have finally decided on a title for this multi chapter Rowcan fic: A Heavy Battle Symphony. Inspired by two Linkin Park songs (Heavy{feat. Kiiara}, Battle Symphony) that seem to fit the bill of the overall tone of the story. Since it deals with such dark topics and mental health, it just works. I wasn't intending for this to be song inspired, but here we are.

Also, I'm bad at summaries, but here we go:

Set in a modern high school AU. Lorcan was forced to live with his Aunt Maeve and boyfriend James Perrington, both of which are abusive. Once they move to Orynth, Lorcan's life is thrown into disarray when he meets Rowan.

Trigger warnings : language, mental abuse, verbal abuse, physical abuse, violence, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, self harm, self-esteem issues, sexual abuse (only alluded to briefly in future chapters), just a lot of trauma, angst, smut - lots of lovely gay smut

Word count: just over 2k

Chapter 1 - Numb

Lorcan Salvaterre has had a pretty shitty life for only being 17. He's been to so many different schools, he doesn't remember them all. His mother died long ago, he didn't have a father, and he was then forced to live with his despicable Aunt Maeve when he was five. Lorcan didn't remember his mother anymore, all he knew was the cruelty of his aunt and her boyfriend, James Perrington.

Maeve's job required them to move every few months. Which meant his schooling was rather poor and often overlapped from school to school. He was always the loner and easily overlooked, at least until his growth spurt last year that catapulted him to be six and half feet tall.

He'd never had a friend in his life. No one would ever want to be friends with him in the first place. He always had a scowl on his face, wore black, long black hair, head down, his skin was a beautiful deep olive, his eyes dark as onyx. He was rather strange. And since his growth spurt, his hulking frame kept everyone away.

He never smiled, he rarely talked. To anyone. Not that he had much to say. He had no hobbies, no pleasures. All he was allowed to do in this meaningless life were chores, his homework, and lay in his room staring at the ceiling.

The way Lorcan had grown up was brutal. There were beatings for not finishing chores, misbehaving, or most of the time, just existing. He never got three meals a day, on the very rare occasion, he would get a small dinner, but generally, the only meal was usually lunch at school or when they were traveling. Even then, Maeve would order the smallest meal for the boy, gods forbid she had to spend more money on him than necessary or look bad in front of people.

That also meant that if he needed new clothes or something for school, he had to work extra for it. A lot of the time, he felt like a severely more abused Cinderella. His aunt made him do some of the most tedious chores in payment for his necessities.

The chores he could handle, sometimes they were even relaxing. The beatings on the other hand were less than desirable. Especially when most of the abuse wasn't even a result of Lorcan's supposed incompetency. But every beating was recorded in Lorcan's journal and accompanied by self harm.

Lorcan's mental health was far from healthy. He wished he had the courage to slice his wrists deeper, but if he failed to finish the job, he couldn't imagine how Maeve would react and what she would make Perrington do to him. So, he settled for the scars. 

His wrists and forearms were covered in scars. Every shirt he had was long sleeved to cover his coping habit. He didn't want questions or people staring, he hated being pitied. Honestly, he hated pretty much everything.

---

The new apartment Maeve had rented in Orynth was just like the rest of them. Lorcan's room was the smallest and also used for storage. Not that it mattered to Lorcan he only had a few things anyway, but it did mean that either his aunt or her boyfriend would barge in, whenever they wished, to grab something. Since Lorcan realized they were never going to stop and they always removed the lock from his door, he took to changing in the bathroom.

Lorcan was exhausted. He had spent all day moving every single box Maeve and Perrington had into the new apartment, making sure he put the boxes in the correct rooms. And setting up his room to give himself some semblance of privacy with the way he piled the storage boxes. 

A sleeping bag, a duffel bag full of worn and faded clothes in various shades of black, a few well worn books, a journal that he used to record every beating and every cut, and a fraying backpack full of school supplies were all of Lorcan's belongings. He didn't even have a real bed. Or a pillow.

Almost asleep in his sleeping bag, Maeve barges into his room and starts yelling at him.

"Lorcan! Where in the gods' forsaken apartment are my hair products!"

Lorcan had no idea why she needed them at midnight. "They're in your bathroom." Obviously.

"If they were, I wouldn't be here, you useless piece of shit!" She grabbed him by the hair and pulled him up, then shoved him into the hall. He knew better than to fight as he stumbled down the hall, he did his best to keep his face neutral, but fuck, that hurt.

Resisting the urge to rub his poor scalp, he stalked to Maeve's bathroom and opened the box labeled MAEVE'S HAIR PRODUCTS. Lorcan sighed when he was greeted with her towels.

"I already looked there, you little welp," she snarled. "Now find my shit!" She stormed out and slammed the door.

Lorcan hung his head and looked around the room. He just wanted to sleep. It wasn't his fucking fault she mislabeled her fucking boxes. Again. Finding the box labeled MAEVE'S TOWELS, he opened it and sighed with relief as he set eyes on her missing items, and set the box on the counter. He informed Maeve of his discovery before heading back to bed.

---

Five hours later, Lorcan woke up, like clockwork. He released a heavy sigh and rubbed his eyes. Hel, he was tired. Time to start an exhausting day of learning a new school and schedule.

Every morning was the same, up at five, shower, get ready for school, make breakfast that he wasn't allowed to eat. Only the adults were allowed breakfast. He'd get a knee to the gut if he attempted to snatch a strip of bacon or a link of sausage, or even a piece of toast. So, his stomach would growl until he got to eat a pathetic school lunch.

This morning would be slightly different from the rest, though. Maeve would have to take him to school and make sure he was registered. She always acted the caring aunt in public. It disgusted Lorcan. Especially when she would go the extra mile and kiss his cheek.

After Maeve left without a word to Lorcan, he stood in the main hall with his schedule and map in hand. This school was huge. Much bigger than most of the other high schools he had been to. That was to be expected, though. This was Orynth High after all, the biggest high school in the biggest city of Terrasen.

He looked over his schedule. He had no idea how he made it to senior year with all the holes in his education.

Fuck, why was pre-calc first? At least he was good at math.

He looked at the clock at the end of the hall, he still had half an hour before school actually started. Rather than wasting time, he found all of his classrooms in order, twice, and then went to the library to grab the necessary textbooks. 

By the time he left the library, the halls were filling up. Kids all around him were chattering, he was either ignored or kids looked at him with scared eyes and scurried out of his way.

He tugged his hood up and shoved his hands in his hoodie pocket and made his way to first period.

---

Since it was the start of a new semester, most teachers ignored that Lorcan was new to the school. That was fine, he didn't want the attention anyway. But in his last class of the day, creative writing, they had to split into groups for an assignment. Lorcan hated group assignments. He was partnered with the smallest teenager he had ever seen.

"I'm Elide. You're new here aren't you?"

His nod was barely perceptible.

"It's Lorcan, right?" He nodded again. "Where are you from?" Her eyes were filled with pure curiosity. 

He cleared his throat. "Originally from Doranelle, but I don't remember it. My mother died when I was five. My aunt took me in and we move a lot." He blinked and shook his head in confusion at himself for telling a complete stranger something he hadn't told anyone else before.

How did this petite young woman bewitch him to talk more than he had in weeks? Lorcan felt exposed under her gaze. It felt like she could read him like a book. It was unnerving. 

"That sounds rough. I hope you like it here and I hope we can be friends." She finished with a smile.

Lorcan just turned back to the assignment.

The class passed without much other conversation besides about the assignment they had to do together.

Finally, the bell rang signalling the end of the day.

The first day at this school was done and he was exhausted and hungry. Lorcan was so focused on packing up his supplies into his ratty backpack that he didn't realize Elide was talking to him.

"A group of us are going to the park to hang out, wanna join?" He was zipping up his backpack, not hearing a word she said. "Lorcan?"

"Huh?" He looked up, confused. She giggled. His cheeks heated just slightly.

"Do you want to hang out with my friends and I after school?"

Why would he want to do that? Lorcan did remember saying she hoped they could be friends, but he thought she was just being polite. Now, she was trying to follow through.

But there was only one answer.

"No."

---

Elide adjusted her bag on her shoulder as she walked to the park to meet her friends. She could see Lorcan walking on the other side of the street away from her. His hood was up, head down, hands in his hoodie pocket, his posture slightly hunched. She thought he could almost pass for a shadow if his black clothes weren't so faded and worn.

She remembered looking into his eyes during class and seeing deep pools of onyx, they would have been gorgeous, but instead, they were dull, and lifeless. He had been so hard to read. Elide had guessed that he didn't have a good home life and they were poor, by the state of his clothes and backpack. She had seen the scars on his wrist when he reached into his bag for an eraser. It broke her heart. Watching him walk away, she noticed how awkwardly his clothes hung off of him. He was definitely too skinny for his frame.

So lost in her thoughts, she didn't hear one of her friends come up behind and loop his arms through hers. Elide yelped and then realized it was her friend, Rowan Whitethorn. He had silver hair and pine green eyes that were always bright.

"I didn't mean to scare you! I called your name, but you were off in your own little world!"

"Sorry. I was thinking about the new kid that you will probably end up having a crush on." Rowan scoffed, Elide just laughed. 

They walked a bit in silence until Rowan made his confession.

"He is hot! He's in my gym class. Tell me everything, my precious Elide! I want to know!" Rowan was so excitable, it was infectious.

"He's in my creative writing class and we were partnered together. He said he's from Doranelle, his mother died when he was five, and his aunt took him in. And apparently, they move a lot." She also told him about the assumptions she made from her observations.

Rowan soaked up every word.

---

Lorcan was doing homework at the kitchen table when Maeve and Perrington came in with take out. It smelled good, Lorcan's stomach rumbled. Damn it. To his surprise, Maeve set down a small Chinese take out box right in the middle of this textbook. He blinked at it, and then up at his aunt, she looked kind for once. "Thank you." It was barely a whisper, but he knew she heard it because she nodded before walking away.

Sometimes he actually thought she loved him..

After his studies and meager dinner, Lorcan laid in his sleeping bag, using an old hoodie that didn't fit anymore as a pillow, trying to sleep. A sigh left his lips and he rolled over.

He couldn't sleep even though he was exhausted, so he pulled a well worn novel from his duffle bag. It was The Hobbit. Lorcan had read it many times. The spine was broken, pages were dog eared, some of the pages weren't even glued in anymore. But he enjoyed the adventure.

Lorcan was halfway through his book, when his window started lightening with the new day. He groaned and his stomach growled.

++++

Rowan couldn't get that new dark haired boy out of his mind. Lorcan Salvaterre. He had soaked up all the information he could from Elide about his new crush. Concentrating on his homework was so hard.

"Ugh." Rowan ran his hand through his hair and smacked his cheeks a couple of times to get himself to snap out of it. He still had homework to finish.

"Rowan, love, would you like some hot chocolate?" His mom leaned into his room. "You seem distracted today."

His mom, Barb, was the sweetest lady and the best mother one could ask for. They talked about everything. And he swore she had eyes everywhere because she always knew everything. Sometimes, Rowan hated that his mom was so observant.

"Yes, please." He got up from his desk and followed his mom to the kitchen. He enjoyed his cocoa with marshmallows. After taking a few sips, he told his mom about the new kid in school. She just smiled knowingly at him.

"Elide says he moves a lot. But I don't know exactly what 'a lot' means. Also, he's probably not into guys." He quirked his lips to the side. 

"You should probably start with actually talking to the boy."

Rowan whined, "Mom!" She just laughed and kissed the top of his head before retreating to the living room, leaving him with his thoughts and empty cup.

_____

Thanks for reading! I'll probably post the next chapter next Thursday or Friday.

[unopenablebox]

hauntingly it’s possible that the dumbest decision i made in my entire life in the long run will be that i took AB calculus instead of BC when i was a junior in high school. this was bad because i was clearly equally capable of either, but without the BC calculus credit i was missing a key credential that would have let me keep taking interesting math (i.e. beyond multivariable calc) as a freshman in college, and i didn’t have the willpower or confidence in the math teaching competence of random math grad students to give up on several hours of sleep just to get my formal freshman sequences-and-series credit. 

so instead i just............... never thought about math again after age 18, basically? this was clearly a mistake, math is both fun and interesting and would be really useful to me to have more of now. however, i think it was entirely reasonable at the time for me to not want to risk getting a really bad sequences instructor and fuck up my whole situation while still adapting to college, so i think i instead have to trace it back to not having confidence in myself at age 16 while signing up for classes. unfortunate

[peachhcs]

It Was All Yellow

Pairing : Luke Patterson x Fem!OC 

Summary : Blaire makes quick friends with Julie and Flynn during her first day at Los Feliz High School which took her by surprise. Although, that wasn’t her first surprising thing of the morning. 

Word Count : 2.7K 

My first Julie and the Phantoms Series?? My first series in general actually. (On Tumblr anyways, I’m on wattpad too!) Anyways, this is Luke with my own original character so I hope you guys enjoy it! 

Yes I know it seems like Blaire isn’t gonna end up with Luke in the beginning but it’s all character development and Ryan’s for the plot later ;)

Series Masterlist

* * *

Chapter 1 : The New Girl

Blaire hated first impressions. They made her feel awkward and it was always a case of, i promise i’m not this awkward, i just hate first impressions. just wait until you get to know me more. Although, she has been saying that to people for the past 3 years everytime she moved, so it was kind of like second nature to her and it just kind of went over her head. Blaire hates goodbyes, so she tries not to get too close to anyone anymore because then it would just be a mess of saying goodbye and omg i promise i’ll text and call every night! They never did call.

This time it was different, though. Blaire walked into Los Feliz High School on her first day and she instantly spotted two girls, one with beautiful dark-colored skin with an incredible fashion sense and a second one with curls to die for. Blaire wished her flat, sort of wavy, damaged, aburn colored-hair did what that beautiful girl’s hair did. Something inside her just set a spark off and she just had to talk to them. Something was compelling her to be their friend, so Blaire did just that against her better judgement.

“Hi..” Blaire spoke up softly once she was close enough to the two friends. Their conversation had cut short at the sound of a new voice and they turned their heads towards Blaire. A smile found it’s way onto the curly-haired girl’s lips. Her smile was soft, it brought an immense calming feeling over Blaire’s persona.

“Hey, are you new here?” The curly-haired girl’s voice was soft and Blaire didn’t know what she was expecting but it definitely wasn’t the girl just knowing she was new at the school. Most people never even payed attention to new kids, they hardly ever knew that there were new kids in the first place. Blaire couldn’t help the smile finding it’s way onto her lips.

“Um, yeah. I am, how’d you know?” Blaire chuckles a little, holding her backpack straps tighter. The girl just shrugged a little, chuckling too.

“Just a hunch. I’m Julie. That’s Flynn over there.” She motioned over to the girl with pretty box-braids and that still, incredible, fashion sense. Flynn waved with a small smile.

“I’m Blaire, by the way. I love you fashion sense.” Blaire says looking at Flynn who smiles deeply, glancing down to see what outfit she had on today.

“Thank you! I’d be damned if I didn’t win best dressed senior year.” Flynn laughs glancing between Blaire and Julie who join in on her laughter.

“They would be wrong to not vote for you. Nobody can top Flynn’s style.” Julie says glancing over at Blaire who nods in agreement. There really wasn’t anyone who could match what Flynn was pulling off. Blaire was a little jealous herself, if she was being honest.

“It’s true. It really is incredible. You’ll have to give me some tips.” Blaire says glancing down at her own clothes. Just a simple jean jacket pulled over a peach t-shirt tucked into some denim shorts.

“Girl, you already look fab, but don’t worry, I’ll hit you up with the good people.” Flynn winked and Blaire laughed and nodded. She already loved these girls and she’s barely known them for 5 minutes. She didn’t know what it was, but there was just something about them that was making her want to be apart of their friend group and know more about them. These girls held their heads high, they were confident, strongly independent, Blaire could literally feel it. She really had never met people like these girls before.

“What class do you have first? Maybe if it’s around where we are we can all walk together?” Julie suggested and Blaire quickly dug her schedule from her pocket. It was a little ripped and tattered but it was still readable.

“Umm, AP Literature with Mrs. Shall.” Blaire read aloud and she heard Flynn let out what sounded like an impressed whistle.

“So you’re like, smart smart. Okay Blaire, I see you.” Flynn coos and Blaire’s face went a little red at that. She just shrugs, to her it wasn’t really a big deal. Her dad always wanted her to take all the advanced classes to help her transcript and all that stuff to do with getting into a good college.

“Not really. I bet there’s so many other people who are smarter than me. I’m actually more into music and stuff.” Blaire admits and this was the first time she’s opened up this much about herself on the first day. Usually, it’d take her a few days to crack because she put a wall up because she hated letting people in only to leave not long after. This was different, though. Much different.

“No way, us too. Julie’s actually in a band.” Flynn says and Blaire pushes her eyebrow up at Julie who smiles shyly. Blaire looks her over once more before it finally clicks in her head.

“Wait, you’re Julie and the Phantoms?” Blaire asks in disbelief. Ever since she saw that youtube video last year of the band performing, she’s been in love. They sang and sounded like angels and Julie had such an amazing stage presence.

“Guilty.” Julie chuckles and Blaire’s eyes widen even more. She squeals a little bit quickly shuts her mouth in embarrassment. Julie and Flynn both chuckle at her little squeal.

“Sorry, that was embarrassing. You guys are amazing I’ve seen the youtube video and listened to a few of the tracks you guys have recorded. It’s all amazing. You guys sound so great together.” Blaire gushes, her inner fan girl coming out. Julie smiles warmly at her words always loving the positive feedback.

“Thank you, that means a lot. We’ve been working really hard this past year to bring good stuff to the table. We’re excited.” Julie smiles and Blaire had to stop herself from squealing again.

“That’s awesome. I’ll definitely be looking forward to it. Plus, however you do those holograms, that’s literally incredible. It looks so real, too.” Blaire gushes again not being able to contain herself.

“Julie, I think she’s a keeper. She loves the band and she’s really nice.” Flynn says glancing over at Blaire who found herself blushing again at the hospitality. She’s never been treated this nicely by people she’s met on her first day. Blaire could say they were keepers too.

Before the three could do anything else, there was a sound of a bell that Blaire assumed it meant it was time to head to first period.

“Quick, run us down your schedule, we have to have classes with you at some point or at least B lunch.” Julie speaks up quickly and Blaire nods, pulling her schedule out again to read it down to the girls.

“AP Lit, Calculus II, French III, AP Government, Music, B lunch!, AP Biology, and free period.” Blaire reads aloud and Julie and Flynn jump around in excitement that she had B lunch with them.

“Awesome! I have Calc II in second period so I’ll see you then.” Julie says with a smile and she waved before walking off down the hallway to class.

“My class is in the direction of AP Lit so I’ll be glad to walk with you.” Flynn says holding out her arm for Blaire to link with. The auburn-haired girl smiled warmly as she linked arms with her new friend and started their way in the opposite direction Julie went.

“So, Miss Blaire, tell me about yourself. I want to know everything.” Flynn starts and Blaire chuckles. She pauses to try and think of something interesting but her life wasn’t really that interesting. Well..none of what she could say anyway..

“I like dogs?” Blaire says grimacing at how bland and boring that sounded.

“Dogs are cool. What kind of music are you into and any special talents with instruments?” Flynn continues not missing a beat and Blaire smiles, liking that Flynn wanted to get to know her. It was a nice change of pace.

“Well I can play the piano 100%. I’m kind of self-taught? I just picked it up one day when I was like 8 and it went from there. I’ve been trying to learn the guitar but I’m not the greatest at it and I guess I can sort of sing?” Blaire shrugs. Singing wasn’t really her main passion, she liked it, it was just kind of something she did on the side though. Her mom always told her she should have taken it further because according to her mom, she had a really nice signing voice.

“A girl with many talents. I like it. You should definitely stop by Julie’s sometime and we can see what you got up your sleeve.” Flynn says nudging her again and Blaire chuckles with a small nod.

“Alright, yeah. Definitely. What about you miss fashionista?” Blaire asks raising her eyebrow. She wanted to know more about Flynn, too considering how she held herself and her very outgoing personality.

“I’m not so much of a singer, but I do like DJing and I can play the trumpet.” Flynn says and Blaire nods impressively. This girl really could do it all and was it all.

“Djing, I like it. It suits you.” Blaire says and Flynn smiles as they slow down to a bunch of open classrooms students were walking in to.

“Alright, see you later Blaire. Stay fresh.” Flynn says before breaking off and heading into her own classroom. Blaire chuckles with a smile before turning into her own classroom.

The girl scans the room, trying to find a good seat when someone suddenly runs into her, almost sending her flying but they were quick to catch her.

“Oh shit, my bad. Are you okay?” Blaire breaks away from whoever’s grasp she was in to meet eyes with a blue eyed, crazy brown haired boy who had a very concerned look on his face.

“Oh yeah, I’m good. Sorry.” Blaire rushes out shaking her head and the boy raises his eyebrow.

“You’re sorry? I nearly knocked you over. Are you sure you’re okay?” He asks and Blaire tilts her head a little. Maybe it was something in this school’s water but everyone she’s met so far, not mentioning it’s only been 2 people, has been extremely nice. All the people from other schools across California have been stuck up and extremely arrogant.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Save yourself the sweat, crazy hair.” Blaire felt a little bold so she went for it, adding in the little nickname. She saw him smile a little before quickly taming his wild head of hair.

“That bad, huh?” He says and Blaire nods. She spotted an open seat in the middle row so she started to make a beeline for it. Middle row seats were the best after all, not too close to the teacher, and not too far away to get caught up in whatever drugs were being passed in the back row. Blaire found her seat and the same crazy haired boy followed after her, grabbing the seat beside hers.

“This seat taken?” He asks raising his eyebrow and Blaire chuckles and shakes her head.

“Be my guest.” Blaire says and the boy smiles. She gives him an amused smile back before pulling out her notebook for the class and a pencil.

“Oh, I’m Ryan by the way.” The boy spoke up again and Blaire glances at him with a smile.

“Blaire.” She responds and the boy returns her smile. Maybe this new change wouldn’t be so bad after all..she could rebuild herself, wash away everything anyone’s ever known about her and start new. I mean, she deserved it, right?

—

Blaire caught sight of Julie as soon as she entered the classroom and the girl waved her over. Blaire quickly hurried over to her and grabbed the seat next to Julie’s desk before anyone else could take it.

“So what do you think so far? Are you liking it?” Julie pushes her questions and Blaire laughs. She shrugged because she’s only had one period and met about 3 people so she couldn’t judge it yet.

“I’ll let you know around lunch, I’ve only met like 3 people so far.” Blaire laughs and Julie pushes up her eyebrow and a smirk falls on her lips.

“3? Who’s the lucky third?” Julie teases and Blaire just shakes her head with a chuckle.

“I met him last period. It’s name Ryan.” Blaire explains and Julie was already oohing and ahhing.

“Sounds like you two had a good interaction.” Julie says poking her friend’s cheek to indicate there was a blush on them. Blaire pushes her hand away and rolls her eyes.

“I don’t even know him so let’s not take it that far.” Blaire laughs and Julie only shrugs.

“Mark my words, Blaire. I know and see everything.” Julie says with a smirk. Blaire laughs and nods just to make Julie happy. The two girls turn in their seats when the teacher comes in, indicating it was time to start class. They exchange one last smile before pulling out their notes to start class.

Blaire didn’t notice it at first, she was too focused on copying the notes down in time before the teacher switched to the next slide because he was going a little too fast. Blaire had never really been a math wiz but she wasn’t bad at it. She did good and maintained a B+ to A average so she was satisfied and her dad was pretty satisfied with her scores too. He used to be really strict and really pounded into her head that she needed to do well, but ever since her mom passed away a few years ago, he’s laid off a little which Blaire was grateful for.

It was the pink pullover that caught Blaire’s eye that made her turn her head in Julie’s direction to see what was going on. Not really sure what she expecting when she looked, but it definitely wasn’t a boy with Troy Bolton hair, black jeans, vans, a pink pullover standing in front of Julie’s desk. Blaire blinked and then blinked again to make sure what she was seeing was real. She swears the boy wasn’t in the class and she didn’t know how the teacher didn’t see him standing right in front of Julie’s desk.

Blaire glanced at the teahcer, who still didn’t notice the boy standing right there. Was she like seeing things? But she couldn’t be seeing things if Julie was looking right at this kid and scribbling things down into her notebook like she was talking to him. Julie finally glanced over at Blaire for a quick second but she didn’t miss that confused glance and the direction she was looking in. Blaire saw Julie and the kid exchange a glance before looking back at her with wide eyes.

Julie quickly shot her arm up and Blaire suddenly became a little worried.

“Yes, Miss Molina?” The teahcer asks, stopping his lesson. Julie glances to Blaire, a look telling her to follow her lead.

“May Blaire and I use the bathroom? Girl problems.” Julie says and Blaire raised her eyebrow wondering how Julie had that much confidence to say that in front of the whole class. She heard the class snicker a little but the teacher clapped his hands, telling them to be quiet.

“Yes, you may.” The teacher says and Julie nods a thank you. She glances at Blaire and motions for her to follow her out. Blaire quickly packs her backpack up and follows Julie out of the room without another word. The boy in the pink pullover followed after them and yet, he still hasn’t been seen or mentioned by anyone in the classroom.

Julie pulled Blaire around the corner, stopping the two of them where they were out of earshot from any other classrooms. Blaire looks between Julie and the boy very confused and very worried because Julie looked surprised, not worried, but shocked.

“You can see him? Like right here, in front of your face?” Julie asks pointing over at the boy and Blaire glances at the boy who meets her eyes and slowly nods.

“Am I not supposed to be able to see him?..” Blaire trails off slightly. She was getting lost and Julie and the boy exchange another glance.

“What am I wearing?” The boy asks glancing down at his outfit and Blaire looks it over again too.

“A pink pullover with black jeans and checkered vans.” Blaire explains what she sees and Julie’s eyes widen. Blaire was still very confused as to what was happening and why Julie was so surprised she could see this cute boy in front of her.

“She can see me! She can see me! Do you think she can see Alex and Reggie too?” The boy exclaims jumping up and down now and Blaire glances at Julie for help. The girl lets out a sigh.

“Looks like we’ve got a alot of explaining to do..”

[kisekinodrabbles]

helloo! i'd like to request something for the prompt game please :D kasamatsu + band!au + strangers to lovers + dialogue number 14 if that's okay? thanks, sam! and welcome back~

ofc!!! i tried to keep it shorter but im a bit rusty w my kasamatsu hehe hope u enjoy! wc: 2.3k

Kasamatsu admits that balancing his band and college work isn’t exactly an easy task. Between late evenings spent at gigs and all nights at the library, he is on the brink of his sanity, standing right at the tipping point. He yawns as he enters his nine am mandatory calculus class, another mistake made in his overconfidence that he would somehow be able to get his shit together.

You, on the other hand, are a closeted fan of his band, sitting three rows behind him in class. Every Tuesday and Thursday, you watch him drag his feet in and his hand lifting to his mouth in a yawn. Quickly, you duck behind your book as if Kasamatsu would ever give you the time of day. The brunette is well-known on campus with his successful group and good looks, not to mention he also dabbles a little in basketball while also maintaining a decent grade point average across all his classes. Triple threat, they call him.

When you first came into class and saw him there, shocked is an understatement. You’ve been following his band his high school from across the country. To see him in the flesh, so real and so human with his tired eyes, it almost feels like a dream. One you hope nobody would ever pinch you awake from. Thus, you made it your goal to be there before him every morning, which is a feat in itself. Kasamatsu may be grinding through the night and falling asleep in lectures, but he’ll be damned if he shows up late to class.

Throughout several weeks, you’ve seen girls come up to him left and right, shot down almost immediately by his intention to focus on the professor’s words. He lets them down easy and makes it clear that he pays thousands of dollars to study, not play IRL Tinder. This man gets sexier everyday.

You take your time packing your things when class is over, mainly because you’re too distracted watching Kasamatsu do the same. He is blind, or chooses to ignore, the whispers and shy glances thrown his way. Perhaps this is why you haven’t approached him yourself. You’re just one of his many admirers, a stroke in the massive painting of his life. Sighing, you pick up your pitiful self and make your way to the dining hall where you’re supposed to meet your friend for breakfast.

When the two of you settle on a table, you begin your weekly rambling about how beautiful Kasamatsu looks in the morning. Moriyama, being the good friend that he is, nods and listens intently.

Moriyama is an intriguing character. The two of you met because he had tried a line on you. In your perpetual state of flustered embarrassment, you had stupidly confessed to him: “Sorry, my heart belongs to Kasamatsu Yukio.”

In another twist of fate, he revealed that he had actually gone to high school with the guy and knew him pretty well.

“You know I can introduce you to him, right? No need for all this pining and drooling from three feet away.”

“It’s not the same,” you argue, “he’s practically a living legend on campus. I’m too intimidated to even breathe in the same air as him.” Your obsession has perhaps taken you too far, but if you expect to continue being his fan, the last thing you want is to scare him away.

“You’re so overdramatic,” Moriyama rolls his eyes. Coming from him, this sentence means a lot.

“What? It’s not my fault Kasamatsu’s so hot. He could bang me so hard backstage then pretend I don’t exist and I would still pay to watch his next show,” you groan, spooning yogurt into your mouth.

In that moment, several things happen. Moriyama’s eyes widen and fly behind you. Footsteps sounding at that same spot suddenly cease completely. You, realizing what possibly just happened, feel the heat flare up your cheeks.

Kasamatsu, in his sleep deprived state and probably completely delirious, had stopped in his tracks. His head whipped around to the source of the comment, finding Moriyama sitting with someone who looks distinctly familiar, but he can’t quite put his finger on it.

“Kasamatsu—”

Before Moriyama can even finish his sentence, Kasamatsu is already blurting out. “Okay, maybe I’m crazy but did I just hear you say that out loud?”

You want to crawl into your hole six feet underground and never see the light of day again. Ducking your head, you don’t even want to chance a glance up. The utter mortification is chewing away at your bones and you wish you could just evaporate into thin air.

Moriyama quickly interjects with a quick laugh, “Hear what? Also how have you been, man? I haven’t seen you in forever. Come join us for breakfast.”

Kasamatsu’s brows pucker. Maybe he really is going insane. And horny. Which is a very bad combination. Nevertheless, he slides into the empty seat next to Moriyama. He stares at you for a few seconds, squinting, before snapping his fingers. “Oh, I remember now. You’re in my calculus class.”

He knows you? “How do you know me?” you squeak, cursing your fangirl self for losing your voice. You never speak up in class, always choosing to come up to your professor for questions at the end of lecture. You’re quiet and tucked away behind him, so you never expected him to recognize you.

The smile he sends you is blinding. Even with shadows under his eyes, he still looks gorgeous. “You’re always first to arrive and last to leave. Figured you’re a hard worker in class and probably acing it.”

Your mouth dries. Kasamatsu noticed you. He actually noticed you. “Oh, um, I’m okay. I’m okay in class, I mean.”

“The question you should be asking is her name, Kasamatsu,” Moriyama scolds, smacking his back.

Kasamatsu pinks sheepishly. “Sorry, yeah. I’m Kasamatsu Yukio, by the way.”

Idiotically, you blurt out “I know” before your name. When you finally introduce yourself, you also clarify, “I’m a huge fan of Blue Devils. I mean, I’ve been following you guys since like high school. Absolutely love your music.”

The man actually reddens even further, but still he beams proudly. “Thank you! That’s crazy. Have you been to our shows?”

Almost all of them. “A couple, yeah.”

“We have one tonight in an actual venue. Are you coming?”

“Ah, it was sold out before I could get a ticket, actually.”

Kasamatsu blinks, “Oh, you’re more than welcome to come. I can get you a pass. Both of you—if Moriyama’s interested.”

“That would be amazing!” You grin, “Is there anything I can get you in return? I don’t want to just accept a gift from you for free.”

“Well, if you are good at calc, I wouldn’t mind some extra tutoring,” he suggests with a teasing grin.

Moriyama rolls his eyes, “Just ask her out instead of using tutoring as an excuse.” The two of you sputter, face colored a dark shade of red. You’ll kick his ass when you get the chance.

—

That one mistake turned out to be the greatest opportunity of your life. In addition to attending his show that night and meeting all of his bandmates, each one more good looking up close than then other, you manage to have weekly study sessions (you’re holding off on calling it dates) with Kasamatsu. The two of you take turns booking rooms at the library to cram, which mainly consists of you reexplaining concepts to the man. Although he isn’t a bad student, he’s also still struggling a bit to keep up.

“Hey” is what you hear before you feel a warm surface press against your cheek. You look up to find Kasamatsu with a steaming cup in hand. Gratefully accepting it, you catch a whiff of freshly brewed tea. You take a sip and smile. Black tea, no sugar. “Just the way I like it.”

“Noticed you never add anything to your tea,” Kasamatsu says almost proudly.

You raise the cup to him in thanks. Both of you go through your usual routine—you focusing on reviewing material for next week while Kasamatsu pores over his notes from this week, occasionally poking you to ask questions.

Honestly, a big part of you still wonders if this is all a dream. This guy you’ve been crushing on for years is sitting in the flesh right across from you. You peek at him from time to time, watching the way he frowns at his book. His blue, almost grey, eyes shine underneath the flickering lights. Even the way his lips curl unhappily is cute.

When he catches you staring, you quickly drop your gaze back to your laptop, missing the way he smiles quietly.

“Will you come to our show this weekend?” He asks as the two of you pack up.

“Ah, I have a shift at my part-time job.”

He looks surprised, “That late?”

You shrug, “Food never sleeps, I guess. It’s at the burger diner by campus.”

“Oh, are you guys open late?”

“Close at one.”

He nods, “Maybe I’ll see you there after then. The guys usually get really hungry after a gig so we can drive some business your way. I’ll make sure they tip well too.”

Your heart warms at the thought. It’s a thoughtful gesture but you’re even more thrilled at the prospect of seeing him. “Sounds good.”

True to his word, Kasamatsu brings the guys to your workplace at midnight after their show ended. They order quite a spread, practically everything on the menu. Kasamatsu goes as far as to help you carry orders to their table. You shoot him an appreciative smile.

Over the time your friendship has bloomed, Kasamatsu has been nothing but a gentleman. He walks you home to your dorm if you’re studying late into the night. He meets you in class with a muffin or a cookie from his early Starbucks runs. Surprisingly, he begins placing himself next to you each session. “This is better anyway,” he mutters. “Two birds, one stone.”

His vague words had you tilting your head in question.

“I don’t have random people coming up to me to sit with me and, well, I get to enjoy your company.” It’s a nice thought—him enjoying your company, that is. He had blushed a little when he realized what you said, but chose to direct his attention to the slides pulled up before him, missing the way you hide your smile behind your sleeve.

Now, you hear the rowdy boys chattering on as they devour their meal as if it’s their last. They speak through mouthfuls of burgers and fries, but you find the sight endearing, mainly because you’ve never seen Kasamatsu so relaxed. It’s quite refreshing really. Your attention is piqued when you hear one of them ask: “So doing it tonight huh?”

Kasamatsu retorts with a “shut the fuck up” and flings a fry his way. The way the other guy wiggles his brows suggestively has you freezing. What if he was meeting up with someone tonight? What if he was going to do the deed?

Somewhere in the distance, you hear the faint cracking of your heart. Of course, Kasamatsu is popular. It’s no surprise he’s got his nights covered as well. You sigh dejectedly, feeling the hope inside you crumble into dust. The rest of your shift goes by rather uneventfully, but you try to avoid going to their table too much, lest you hear more details about Kasamatsu’s planned tryst. The man himself steals glances your way, wondering if you’ll be checking on them anytime soon.

“Your check,” you smile as you set the bill on the table, “I got the owner to give you a discount since you guys ordered a good amount.”

All of their eyes seem to sparkle as they thank you in unison, their synchrony almost puzzling. As you move to pick up the bill and change, Kasamatsu catches your hand before you move away. “What time does your shift end?”

“Half an hour. Why?”

The other guys are already packing up their things and giving you little waves as they exit the restaurant, leaving the two of you alone. “I’ll walk you home, it’s late,” he murmurs, fingers still wrapped around your wrist.

“Oh, you don’t have to! I usually take the bus back anyway so it’s no big deal.” You want to confirm whether he had plans that night anyway. You’d hate to be in the way of that.

He shakes his head, “I insist. Also, um, are you doing anything tomorrow?”

“Catching up on studying most likely.”

“Oh,” he pauses, “if you have time tomorrow night, do you want to catch a movie with me? Maybe dinner after?”

You blink at him in surprise. Now that you’re looking at him properly, you notice that his cheeks are several shades darker than the red neon glow of the diner sign. He’s shifting on his feet and his other hand finds purchase on the strap of his bag, fidgeting with the material. “Um, like a date?”

“Y-yeah,” he stutters slightly, his throat moving as he swallows. “Sorry, I probably should’ve made that clear,” he coughs, “b-but if you don’t want it to be the we can also go as friends.” Perhaps you’ve tortured the boy long enough but you can’t help but relish in his awkward chuckle as his hand lifts to rub the back of his neck nervously.

Biting back a huge grin, you nod. “It’s a date.”

Kasamatsu’s eyes light up and a pleased grin spread across his face. “It’s a date.”

The hollering outside the building has the two of you whipping to face the window where his bandmates have their faces pressed up against the surface, laughing and smiling to congratulate and embarrass their friend. Kasamatsu flushes, “I’ll see you later to pick you up.”

You nod but he’s already out the door, leaping to kick his friends away. “You stupid idiots!”

Laughing, you watch as the group makes kissy faces at Kasamatsu all the while the man fruitlessly attempts to shut them up. He really is cute.

[gemmassong]

So uh. It’s 4:17am and I know literally no one cares but I just finished watching Bo Burnham’s new special and like, holy shit. I have some Feelings. And this is my fucking tumblr so unfortunately anyone who follows me can and will be subjected to those Feelings. Apologies in advance. I blame my high school English teacher for this, who I had for freshmen, junior, and senior year, because that cunt made as analyze and pick apart not just books but documentaries, movies, and other pieces of media to such an extreme degree I still blame her for a lot of my academic burnout and inability to really engage with my college courses because what was the fucking point. If I could write the best paper in the class and still not get a full score when my classmates with less well written shit did because I ‘wasn’t reaching my full potential or putting in as much effort as required’ why should I bother. 

Off topic. I’ll put the rest under a cut to be vaguely courteous because this is going to be a lot of semi-organized rambling that I’m putting here mostly so I can stare at it in baffled, disgusted horror at ~2pm tomorrow when I go back and reread it. And then decide not to delete it anyway because hey, I don’t delete anything because I enjoy tormenting myself years down the road.

I grew up with Bo Burnham, yeah? I knew all the lyrics to New Math when I was in middle school and you can bet your ass I understood like, four verses at the time I first started singing it. And I remember the vivid pleasure of going through high school and hating math because I suck at it (ayooo failed out of Calc senior year first semester~ (they weren’t called semesters in hs they were some quarterly thing but I don’t fucking remember the right term)) and the absolute joy realizing how one of those verses were clever was brought me. Like, every time I understood a new verse in New Math it made my entire day so much better. 

And then the summer after my first year of college I, for some fucking reason I cannot fathom now, 20 year old me thought it was a brilliant idea to decide to watch What. with my parents while we ate dinner. I had seen What. before. I knew what the contents entailed. I was apparently 100% down to watch him pretend to jack off on stage while eating taco salad in the living room with both of my parents who were so closed mouthed about sex that I got literally my entire sexual education from fanfiction. 

And then my cat had a seizure literally right before that scene so fate helped me escape that hell for some reason, and yes, Siren was fine after a very scary night.

But like. Still. What the fuck, 20 year old me. Why did you set yourself up for the mortifying experience of watching a comedian mime jacking off while sitting next to your mother. Why. 

So anyway. Bo Burnham was peripherally a part of my life for a very long time. I’ve always really liked him. I wish he had made more vines while vine was still a thing because the ‘is there anything better than pussy’ one still cracks me tf up. 

I saw a post here at some point about how the new special made someone feel like they’d just watched his suicide note. And I didn’t take it seriously, because yeah, Make Happy got kinda serious and stressful there at the end but like? 

Maaaaan am I glad I watched Inside though, despite being vaguely concerned. I totally get where that person was coming from. It does kinda feel like that. At the same time though, I just have this feeling that Inside is going to be important. 

Here’s where I finally get to the actual fucking point of the post.

Collectively, entertainment media is desperately trying right now to figure out how the hell to handle the pandemic. Ignore it? Pretend all media now exists in a universe where the shitstorm of 2020 didn’t exist? Most of the ones that I’ve seen have gone down what I consider the absolute worst route, which is of course terrible fucking writing that kind of? addresses the pandemic and shit that went down, but like, with clunky dialogue and really bad jokes. I’m mostly talking about the Roseanne spinoff/sequel/whatever the fuck it’s considered, of which I watched half an episode of and then silently begged my fiance to let us leave his mother’s house because she was laughing at it and it was genuinely, horrifically painful. This is why I don’t watch tv anymore. 

ANYWAY. He never mentions it. Not once. There are plenty of really relevant things discussed and pointed out and I think one? mention of the actual year 2020 but beyond that. Nothing. And I feel like Inside might be one of the most genuine, visceral, real pieces of media portraying the pandemic that we, as an American society anyway, are going to come away from this all with. At least everyone in my own admittedly piss poor social circles has spent like last ~year and a half doing that social media thing where the more you post about how well you’re doing and great it all is, the more miserable and bad off you really are.

(Yes, that is how I judge my ‘friends’’ relationships on facebook. The more pictures/posts/tagged shit/social media demonstrations of how ~amazing~ and ~in love~ and ~perfect~ everything is, the worse I assume the reality is.)

But Inside strikes as very, very real. And I just feel like 20 30 40 50 years from now, when we’re talking about the 2020 pandemic and how it shaped and shifted and effected and destroyed people and society, it’s going to be a very important piece of media. Because so far, anyway, it’s the first one I’ve seen where you can actually see it all go down. The absolute fucking breakdown so many of us went through. Dealing with worsening mental problems that had previously been getting better, lost progress, ruined plans and dreams and missed opportunities and everything else. 

It’s the first one that strikes as real, I guess. As not manufactured. Not tailored to portray the ‘correct’ message. Not diminishing or exaggerating anything but just... showing. Existing within the reality of the year. And not being apologetic or ashamed about it. 

I’m glad he actually went through with putting it out into the world. That probably took a whole lot to do, and I hope good things get to him for going through with it all. For completing it and giving it to the world. It was visceral and raw to watch and my piss poor attention span that needs 20+ tabs open at all times actually sat there and watched it, in full, all the way through in one go. Without pausing to read a fic, watch something else, check facebook or tumblr, answer a roleplay, or skim through omegle to see if anyone good was online. That’s like, unheard of these days.

I just. I dunno. There’s a lot there to breakdown. A part of me wants to do it, take the time and write the analysis and the breakdowns and pick out what I think the important bits are. But I hate doing that now and I’m sure the desire will be gone come afternoon-morning, along with all these weird feelings about it. 

This has gotten long enough and it’s 4:47 now, so half an hour of word vomiting into a tumblr post is probably too much. So I guess I’ll call it quits and maybe maybe not delete this when I wake up. Night, anyone who actually suffered through reading this mess.

[jupitermelichios]

DC: The High-School AU: The Series: The Staff (the musical)

So I finally cast the school staff and teachers for my DC High School AU, which I thought some of you would have some fun with! I took the subject list from a fairly fancy looking private school, because only schools you have to pay for have their subject lists online, so I’m probably offering way more classes than your average state school, but hey, it’s my AU and I wanted to cram in as many supervillains, obscure heroes, and bad jokes as possible.

Admin & Staff

Principle - Amanda Waller

Deputy Principle & Treasurer - Noah Kuttler (the Calculator)

Nurse - Myra Mason (she was Dr Midnite’s nurse and love interest in the 40s & 50s, then got fridged, but I’m unfridging her and giving her a job with much better survival prospects)

Councillor - Ethel Peabody (she’s a psychiatrist from the Gotham TV show, and also in my headcanon, Amanda Waller’s sister)

Librarian - Stanislaus Johns (The Librarian. I considered bookworm for this job but he’s literally called the Librarian, what was I supposed to do, not use him?)

Admin Staff - Laura Conway (Superman supporting cast and occaisional vampire), Mabel Martin (Riddler’s secretary), Theresa Collins (Goldstar, also Booster Gold’s secretary)

Business

Loren Jupiter (aka Mr Jupiter the richest and therefore most thrustworthy man in the world) - Business 101, Business Law, Entrepreneurship

Wesley Dodds (Sandman) - Business Communications

Annabeth Chamberlain (Brimstone) - Marketing, Hospitality & Tourism (she doesn’t work in tourism, but I figure anyone who can waitress while also having the power to set people on fire and damn them to hell and keeps her job probably knows a whole lot about customer service)

Family & Consumer Science

Miss Tribb (Lobo’s childhood teacher who inexplicably survived the extinction of their species) - Childhood Developement, Early Childhood Education

Neil Richards (The Mad Mod) - Texiles/Sewing, Fashion

Tenzil Kem (Matter-Eater Lad) - Food & Nutrition

Finance

Noah Kuttler (The Calculator) - Personal Finance

Foreign Languages

Matron Bertinelli (Nu52 Huntress, who I’m declaring a sepperate character and the aunt of pre-52 Huntress because they’re radically different characters and I like both of them) - ASL, Italian

Chang Jie-Ru (Nu52 Yo-Yo) - Chinese, AP Chinese

Yolanda Montez (Wildcat II) - Spanish, AP Spanish

Barbara Minerva (Cheetah) - Latin

Health Sciences

Myra Mason - Emergency Medical Responder training

Charles McNider (Dr Midnite) - Anatomy & Physiology, Health Class

IT

Brian Durlin (Savant) - Computer Programming, Web Dev

Jennifer Lyn-Hayden (Jade) - Digital Art 101

Arnold Wesker (Ventriloquist) - 3D Animation, 3D Graphics (I don’t know why but the idea of Wesker as an animator just tickled me. Obviously his real passion is stop-motion, but he learnt 3D because there were more jobs)

English (the fancy private school called this ‘language arts’ which is so prentious it makes me feel slightly nauseous)

Wesley Dodds (Sandman) - English Language, AP English Language

Rac Shade (Shade the Changing Man) - English Literature, AP English Literature

Chloe Sullivan (the worst character in the Smallville TV show, a hotly contested position) - English Language, Communications 101, supervises the School Paper and the Yearbook

Shelly Gaynore (The Whip III) - Englist Literature, Creative Writing

Basil Karlo (Clayface) - Intro to Shakespeare

Nick Scratch (officially his supervillain name is just Scratch, but I refuse to consider that a code-name, looking at you Drake) - Communications 102: Public Speaking

Mathematics (which has a 100% villain make-up, which seems accurate from what I remember of high-school maths)

Noah Kuttler (The Calculator, because I think I’m funny) - Pre-Calc, Calculus, AP Calculus

Harlan Graves (The Underbroker) - Stats, Algebra 1, Algebra 2

Angelo Bend (Angle Man, becuase I know I’m funny) - Geometry, Trigonometry

PE (I realise this is probably too many PE teachers but there are a lot more caonical althetes than just about any other job in the DCU except maybe scientist)

Lawrence Crock (Sportsmaster, you knew this was coming) - Gym, Weight Training, coaches Baseball, Basketball, Tennis & Hockey

Lisa Snart (Golden Glider) - joint-coaches Cheerleading, coaches the Drill Team, Wrestling

Randy Hanrahan (Stallion) - PE, joint-coaches Cheerleading & Cross-Country, coaches Football

William Everett (Amazing Man) - PE, joint-coaches Cross-Country, coaches Track & Field

Matron Bertinelli (Huntress, sort of) - coaches Soccer & gymnastics

Performing Arts

Lisa Snart (Golden Glider) - Dance

Hartley Rathaway (Pied Piper) - Music 101, Music Theory, Composition, teaches Guitar & Percussion

Isaac Bowin (The Fiddler) - Music 101, AP Music Theory, leads Jazz Band, Orchestra, Marching Band

Siobhan Smyth (Silver Banshee) - part-time, leads the Choir and teaches singing

Basil Karlo (Clayface) - Theatre, Theatre 101

Simon Trent (Grey Ghost) - Theatre, Theatre 101, Film Studies

Ted Kord (Blue Beetle) - Theatre Tech

Mary Louise Dahl (Baby-Doll, from B:TAS) - Film Studies, Video Production

Betty Bates (Lady-at-Law, who is technically owned by DC now due to corporate buy-outs) - Debate

Science (do you have any idea how hard it is to pin down areas of specialisation for comic book scientists? TNT is on this list entirely because he’s the only actual honest-to-god professional chemist I could find)

Kirk Langstrom (ManBat) - Biology, AP Biology

Pamela Isley (Poison Ivy) - Biology, Environmental Science

Thomas “Tex” Thomas (TNT) - Chemistry

Achilles Milo (Professor Milo, again not really much of a code name) - Chemistry, AP Chemistry

Will Magnus (I refuse to even dignify it as a code-name) - Physics, Earth Sciences

Ray Palmer (The Atom) - Physics, AP Physics

Adam Strange (DC is just doing this to fuck with me, personally) - Astronomy

Social Studies & Humanities

Barbara Minerva (Cheetah) - World History

Maxie Zeus (ffs) - World History, AP World History (fun fact, Maxie was canonically just a normal history teacher before he got lightning powers, became convinced he was Zeus incarnate, and set out to become a criminal, making him my favourite DC mobster by a country mile)

Terry Long (aka one of the only characters to really deserve to get fridged) - US History, AP European History

Eobard Thawne (every code-name he has is stupid, but lets just go with Reverse-Flash as the least awful option) - US History, AP US History

Nick Scratch - US Government, AP US Government, AP Comparative Politics

Rex Tyler (Hourman) - AP Art History

Magdalene Kyle-Burton (Sister Zero, she’s a sometimes-nun and a sometimes-sister to Catwoman) - Comparative Religion

Michael Carter (Booster Gold) - Economics, AP Microeconomics, AP Macroeconomics

Jonathan Crane (Scarecrow) - Psychology (there is exactly one heroic psychiatrist in all of comics, and I’d already used Dr Fate elsewhere. Scarecrow seemed like the least bad option of the remaining pool for being around children, and he does at least have teaching experience)

Adam Strange - Sociology

Betty Bates (Lady-at-Law) - Law

Richard Occult/Rose Psychic (it’s complicated, lets just say Dr Occult and leave it at that) - part-time, Criminal Justice

Technology & Engineering

Ted Kord (Blue Beetle) - Electronics, CAD, Woodworking

John Henry Irons (Steel) - Engineering, Metalworking

Will Magnus - Robotics

Visual Arts

Linda Lee/Danvers (she’s Supergirl, but I’m making her a different character from Kara Danvers/Kent because the DCU is really short on artists and I needed someone to teach the damn class, although the only thing that really makes her distinct from other supergirls is that she fucked a horse that one time and IDK how that will translate into a personality...) - Ceramics, AP Studio Art: 3D Design, Art 101

Rex Tyler (Hourman) - Graphic Design, Drawing, AP Studio Art: Drawing

Jack Knight (Starman) - Painting, AP Studio Art: 2D Design, Art 101

Jennifer Lyn-Hayden (Jade) - Photography

So there you go - I’ll be honest I still don’t really understand how high-schools in the USA work, and I have no idea what Design studio art even is so I kind of assigned those ones at random, but now it’s done and cannot be changed.

As always this universe is open to prompts so if you want a chapter focussing on any of these characters just drop me an ask or a comment and I’ll see what I can do. Making Dr Occult & Rose Psychic a single gender-fluid person is already on my list to do, since that’s who I thought they were for a longest time when I started reading comics and I’m still kind of annoyed that isn’t canonically what’s going on.

[s-oulpunk]

kaspbrough: eddie’s late to class and his long time crush bill suddenly decides it’s a good day to spill his milkshake all over that cute angry boy in his calc class

Anon I LOVED writing this, it ended up being so soft🥺

-----

Eddie Kaspbrak is a good student.  He turns all his homework in on time, he gets straight A’s, and, most importantly, he’s not late.  Ever.  Sure, he misses a lot of school, but that’s hardly his fault.  Mama says he’s sick, and if he has to do his homework from the hospital bed, then that’s exactly what he’ll do.

But, back to the point.  Eddie’s never late.  He takes extra measure to ensure it.  Three alarms, clothes picked out the night before, bike ready to go in the garage.

Except for today.

Today he sleeps through his alarms.

Today he loses his socks halfway through getting dressed.

Today his bike has a flat tire.

So now he’s running to school, already fifteen minutes late, and barely halfway there.  He’s not supposed to be running, he knows that.  He knows if his mother ever found out, he’d be stuck in the hospital all weekend.

But he also knows he’s not supposed to be late.  Besides, it feels kind of good to run.  It’s not something he usually gets to experience.  And he’s going so fast.  He doesn’t think he’s ever gone this fast without his bike.  Scratch that, he’s never gone this fast in his life.

Mama doesn’t let him ride at a pace faster than a walk, and she’s always the slowest car on the road whenever they take a trip to the local hospital or grocery store.

But when he runs, he can feel the wind scratch against his face and the pavement disappear beneath his feet.  It’s exhilarating.

At least, it’s exhilarating until he turns the corner into the school parking lot and runs smack dab into another student.  And not just any student.

“Fff-Fuck, are you alright?”

Baseball star Bill Denbrough.

Bill Denbrough, who won the game three weeks in a row.

Bill Denbrough, who Eddie’s been in love with since the sixth grade.

Bill Denbrough, who’s staring down at him because Eddie’s currently laying flat on his back, sharp gravel digging into his back, as he wonders why his torso is suddenly freezing.

“Holy shit, I’m so ss-suh-sorry.”

Turns out, he’s freezing because Bill’s double chocolate chip milkshake is currently all over him.  Eddie frowns at the sticky mess as he sits up, his frown quickly turning into a grimace when the milkshake starts to drip down his stomach.

“I’m so sorry,” Bill continues to ramble. “I dd-duh-didn’t see you coming.  Are you oh-okay?  I’m sorry about yuh-your shirt.  Will it wash out?  Oh, fuck.”

“It’s fine,” Eddie grumbles, ignoring the hand Bill offers as he stumbles to his feet. “Jesus, who drinks a milkshake at eight in the morning?”

Bill flushes red. “Is there a time limit to when I can enjoy a mm-muh-milkshake?”

“Yes!” Eddie snaps. “You shouldn’t drink it at all, do you have any idea how unhealthy it is for you?”

Bill shrugs. “It’s milk.”

“It’s...It is not just milk!” Eddie yelps, gaping openly.

“Look,” Bill says, and Eddie supposes maybe he should feel a little bad for snapping at the guy, “I’m really sorry about your shirt.  If I can - Oh!  You can have my jj-juh-jacket if you want?  It’s not the same, but it’ll help cover some of the stains!”

“What - No, that’s okay,” Eddie says, but Bill’s shoving the jacket into his hands before he can even finish the sentence. “I can just wear my gym shirt.”

Bill pulls a face. “That’s gross.  It’s all ss-swuh-sweaty and stuff.”

“Well I washed it!  Do you not wash your gym clothes!”

“I’ll get it from you in calculus!” Bill says.  And Eddie can’t argue, because he’s already disappeared halfway across the parking lot.

-

Wearing Bill’s jacket is - and Eddie would never admit this - very exciting.

Bill’s relatively short, but the jacket’s still a little big on Eddie.  It’s a dark maroon color, per school colors, and has Bill’s last name in big, bold letters across the back.  Eddie can feel the stares from his peers throughout the day, can hear the whispers behind his back.  It puts him on edge, but Bill’s jacket - despite being the source of the attention - acts as a sort of force field.  As if nothing can hurt him while he has it on.

Eddie sits at the front in every single class.  Bill usually sits somewhere in the middle, somewhere he can pay attention without drawing too much attention to himself.  But today, Bill plops himself down right next to Eddie and grins at him expectantly.

“Thank you for the jacket,” Eddie says softly.

“You’re welcome,” Bill says. “Sorry I sp-spilled my milkshake on you.”

Eddie ducks his head, suddenly all-too-fascinated by the empty pages of his notebook. “Yeah, well, sorry I was a dick to you.”

Bill smiles softly. “That’s okay,” he says, which only makes Eddie feel worse.  Why is he so nice? “I would buh-be mad too.”

Cautiously, Eddie glances back up.  When he’s sure it’s safe, when all he can see is Bill’s blinding grin, he turns to face him completely.

“I can buy you another milkshake,” he offers.

If possible, Bill grins wider, “Like a dd-duh-date?”

Eddie balks. “No!  No, not - not like that.  Just - Just as an apology.  Because I - I spilled your milkshake.  Remember?”

“Oh.  I - Uh - Yeah.  Th-That’s okay, dude.  It’s, ll-luh-like, three bucks.  I can - Just - Don’t worry about it.”

Bill doesn’t talk to him for the rest of class.

-

That Friday, Bill has a baseball game.  Eddie knows because he has one every week.  Every week, Eddie tries to convince his mom to let him go.  Every week, the answer is emphatically no.

But this week is going to be different.  Eddie has to be there.  Because Bill had asked him exactly what Eddie had been dreaming he would ask for years, and what did Eddie do?  He fucked it up.  And now he has to find a way to un-fuck it up.

He waits, practically vibrating with nerves, until his mom falls asleep.  By the time she does, Eddie doesn’t even know if the game is still going.  But he has to try, he’ll be damned if he misses his chance.  So he pulls on his shoes, hops out his bedroom window, and runs.

Luckily, when he gets there, the game is not over.  At least, Eddie doesn’t think it is.  He doesn’t know anything about baseball - his mother was never big on sports - but there are still players on the field.  In fact, Bill’s currently up to bat.

Eddie lingers awkwardly by the bleachers.  Should he cheer?  Should he sit down?  He has no idea what the protocol for baseball is.

The pitcher throws the ball.  Bill swings.

No contact, strike one.

Eddie bounces on the balls of his feet as Bill gets back into position.

C’mon, Bill, he finds himself thinking. I know you can do it.

The pitcher throws the ball again.

Bill misses, strike three.

Even in the dark, Eddie can see Bill starting to get frustrated.

You can do it, Eddie thinks. Don’t give up.

The pitcher throws the ball a third, and final, time.

Bill hits it with a thunk and, before Eddie can even comprehend what’s happening, he’s racing through the bases.

His peers in the bleachers go crazy, shrieking and cheering, but Eddie’s shocked silent.  He’s heard about this moment over and over again, but seeing it is entirely different.  Simply watching him is intoxicating.  Eddie can go fast, but Bill’s faster.

Seeing Bill so in his element, Eddie can see why the school fawns over him.

Bill’s heading towards home base now, and it’s pure speed that’s going to get him there.  The ball is being passed through the players, getting scarily close to the catcher, at an alarmingly fast rate.

Eddie nearly shrieks when Bill suddenly drops to the ground, but then he’s sliding through the dirt and landing back at home base merely moments before the ball is thrown to the catcher.

Eddie can only assume they’ve won after that, because everyone starts screaming and Bill’s receiving hugs and claps on the back from his teammates.  A kid bolts past Eddie, racing straight into Bill’s arms, and Bill squeezes him tight, as if he's his lifeline.

He looks so happy, Eddie nearly turns around and goes home.  But then they make eye contact and Eddie knows there’s no turning back now.  Still, his nerves grow a little bit stronger with each step Bill takes towards him.

“Hey,” Eddie says, wincing at how shaky his voice sounds.

“Hey, Eddie,” Bill says. “I didn’t know you ww-wuh-were coming.”

“Eddie,” the kids repeats in a high pitched, nasally voice.  Eddie doesn’t have to hear much more to know the kid’s not his biggest fan at the moment.

“Georgie,” Bill hisses. “Stop th-that.” Georgie huffs. “Can wuh-we have a minute?”

Georgie stares pointedly at Eddie. “That milkshake better be for him,” he says, before disappearing back into the thick of the crowd.

“Sorry about him,” Bill says. “He just started jj-juh-junior high.  You know how it is.”

Eddie laughs, but it’s more out of nerves than anything else, because he doesn’t know how it is.  He didn’t have friends in middle school, and his mother would be damned if he became anything less than her perfect little boy because of something as silly as puberty.

“This - Uh - This is for you, actually,” Eddie says, holding the milkshake out awkwardly.

“Oh.” Bill looks so touched, Eddie kind of wants to laugh. “Thank you, yuh-you didn’t have to do that.”

Eddie shrugs. “It’s just a milkshake.”

“Still,” Bill says as he gently takes it from Eddie’s outstretched hand, “That’s sweet.”

Eddie’s thankful it’s dark, because his face is bright red. “It’s nothing really.  You - Um - you did great out there.”

Bill lights up, as if he didn’t have the whole school screaming for him. “Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Thank you!”

“I also - Um - I also wanted to ask if you, maybe, wanted to go on a date with me?”

Bill beams around the milkshake straw. “Seriously?”

Eddie nods furiously. “And - And I’m sorry, for saying no at first.  You scared me.”

Bill barks out a laugh. “I scared yy-yuh-you?”

“Yes, shut up!  Now what’s your answer!”

“Yes!” Bill grins. “Yes, I would love to!”

[inkofamethyst]

September 20, 2020

TUMBLR KEEPS RELOADING FOR ME AND IT’S REALLY ANNOYING TO SPEND HALF AN HOUR ON AN ENTRY ONLY TO HAVE THE PAGE RANDOMLY SAY IT CAN’T BE REACHED.

Quick recap then.

Depop: No sales this weekend, but lots of new followers, possibly because I’ve said in my bio that I post new masks on Mondays.  I’ll be posting new ones tomorrow and we’ll see how it goes.

School Shopping: Bought a possibly handmade gray skirt from Poshmark and some brown/plaid pants from Depop.  Doing well budget-wise.  Planning to buy black wool pants (hopefully they fit because size 2P has meant wildly different things to different brands, from 26″-28″ waists, but generally my size 4P/4 pants have been too big, so), a basic brown belt, one or two cashmere sweaters, and a button up or two.

I would like to quickly interrupt and say that I’m mildly afraid that brown will not be my color.  Like, I love the earthiness of it and everything, but I’m afraid that because I’m brown-skinned, it just won’t work on me as nicely.  That it’ll all just blend in and I’ll look bad.  I know these are silly thoughts, but I have them nonetheless.  Like I said in a previous post, it’s harder to place myself in the historybounding/dark academia aesthetic because I don’t see models who look like me.  Of course, with thrifting I’ll get to try these things out for relatively inexpensive prices, but it still worries me that I’ll be wasting money.

Chem Lab: I did, in fact, end up getting full marks on my assignment from last week.  Glad I wasn’t too cocky haha.

Next Semester: This was the long one.  So, the schedule of classes for next semester has been posted for my university, and it looks like I should be able to fit all of them into my schedule.  I’ll be taking 17 credits which is... a lot, but hopefully it won’t be too terrible?  Two bio classes, Two chem classes, anthropology and my humanities class.  ...Yeah.  Well, it looks like some might be in-person or hybrid, so I might look into leasing or subleasing an apartment for the Spring because I’m not super keen on living in the dorms during a pandemic.  It’d just be a ton easier than commuting from home, honestly, and also I miss campus.  I am excited to be able to take archaeology next semester, and hopefully I’ll be able to get into one of the sections with the professor who leads the summer archaeology study abroad to Europe because I really really really would like to do that one summer before I graduate (next summer is preferred, but we’ll have to see, won’t we).  Hopefully I’ll actually be able to get into the class because it’s a gen ed that may be favored by upperclassmen, but I’m thinking that by technically being a junior I may be able to snag my way into whichever section I want.  It’d be lovely if my dancer-friend and I were in the same class together again (we haven’t been in the same class since Junior year in high school (physics and Calc AB), so that would be super fun!) since I know she’s interested in that class as well, but I don’t know if her preferred prof would be different or if she’d even be able to get into the same one as me based on her schedule.  I’ll have to wait for the UMD schedule builder to update before I can be concrete about anything I’m taking though.  I also need to wait and see which classes will be held where because that’s something you need to consider when walking to in-person classes.  In-person vs. hybrid vs. online won’t be completely finalized until early December, so I’ll really just have to wait and see though, won’t I?

Other: I’m looking into starting a mask drive through the honor society I’ve been inducted into.  I think it’d be really cool to put that on my resume as part of leadership skills.

That was pretty much an abbreviated version of my first draft.

Today I’m thankful for the fact that it looks like my chemical analysis for my chem lab will be easy.

[late-nite-student-ramblings]

Reflection of my first year-  Highschool vs University.

So you’ve probably heard it from all of your teachers in high school, I know I did. 

“They’re not going to be this ___ in college” the blank usually being something along the lines of “on your ass/ lenient/ understanding/tolerant/etc”. So I’m here to approve/disprove some common ideas passed on and maybe ease your mind. Or make you more worried, however you want to see it. 

Keep in mind these are from a public university student’s POV so I can’t speak for everyone.  

1) “It’s going to be tougher in college” 

Well yes and no. That’s how schooling works, every year you move up the material gets harder so that you can advance in your knowledge. It’d be kind of useless if we just kept learning the same level of material year after year. However, I think what they meant to say was that it got exponentially harder in college and I don’t think this is the case, especially not for the first year. 

2) “These people earned their degrees so they’re going to demand respect and you’ll have to call them Dr./Mrs./Mr/ whatever” 

Not true, some of my best professors went by their first name. One actually would forget to respond if you called him “professor” because he always went by his first name. Being on a first-name basis is usually something the professor covers in the first class so if they tell you which to call them great! Call them that. If they don’t, maybe ask or stick with “professor” until it’s made clear. 

3) “No one’s going to hold your hand/No one’s going to remind you./They’ll just refer you to the syllabus”

Wrong, at least for the first year. The syllabus is a thing that most professors use and it would do you well to print them out and look at it from time to time so you aren’t completely lost. That being said, all of my professors did help us out in some way, some more than others. My maths profs would send out emails telling us the hw every week and, a week before finals, sent out emails every other day reminding us about the final’s time/location, English prof would remind us a week in advance and have in-class workshops before papers were due. Our criminal justice AI (Assistant Instructor) wrote up and gave us the rubric she’d be using to grade our book reviews. 

When teaching lower-level classes, professors know they’re going to be teaching mostly first-years and understand it does no good to just throw you in the fire. 

4) “You’ll have to learn to be responsible”

100%. This is very vague but it is true, not only in academics but in your personal life too. Time management is the biggest factor. College is a lot less condensed than high-school meaning more free time. Even when I took 17.5 credit hours I still had plenty of time on my hands. The challenge is how to handle that time. It’s going to be so tempting to go to forget about the assignments because it’s not due every day or the paper is due next month. Use your first year to learn about your study habits and what works best for you to learn the material. And I don’t recommend doing all your hw the day before, even if you can. While it is important to get your work done it’s also important that you aren’t falling apart at the seams from stress. Be responsible for yourself. 

5) “They won’t stand tardiness, the doors will be locked and sucks to suck”

Depends on the professor but usually not. I’ve seen people walk out of class 20 min early, I’ve been 10 min late for class a couple of times. Went to office hours got notes I missed. Most profs don’t mind as long as you aren’t disrupting the class. I’ve even seen a kid run into an exam 30 min late, poor kid overslept. I have had the occasional stickler for being on time but after a while its shown not to be worth policing students like that.

Don’t make a habit of it though. They get it, life happens, people oversleep, busses are late, and what have you. But understand that there are some things that punctuality is vital, meetings with a professor,  exams (unless you think you can do the exam in half the time, you’re paying for it), interviews, labs (you usually need all the time you can get with those).

Edit: 6) “Don’t take an 8am you’ll hate yourself”

I’ve heard this more from advice online but I’m still going to put it here anyway. 8ams aren’t that bad. When you wake up in hs for an 8am you’re also waking up to do nothing but sit and listen for the next 8 hours nonstop. This is extremely different than waking up for an hour maybe two hours worth of sitting in a lecture at a time and more later. I had somewhere to be by 8am every day of the week and it's honestly something you get used to. Any starting class time is early if your sleep schedule’s fucked. My advice? Adjust and regulate your sleep schedule. Find out how much sleep you need to be a useful, productive,  decent human being and count backward.

7) “All the classes are so big/the professors won’t know you”

True but it depends. I’ve had both large (150+) and small classes (20 ish) and it is entirely possible the professor will not know you in either situation. 

With professors knowing you, that is usually up to you. I ask a lot of questions both in and out of class. I can guarantee that if you go to office hours consistently they will eventually learn your face. I ended up going to almost every one of my calc 1 profs office hours (meaning I saw him around an hour a day 4 days a week). Emailed him a thank you at the end of the semester and he actually referenced back to a small conversation we had towards the beginning of the year. So if you want the prof to notice you, ask every question you have, even if its a clarification question. if you have too many write them down and go to office hours. 

Feel free to add your own experience or ask about a rumor you’ve heard! Happy to clarify anything in the post or just have a chat.

All the best,

-E