#i miss ziam

[tommo-is-my-sun-28]

Zayn in 1D photoshoot

[ziamln]

This genre of picture where both Zayn and Louis are looking at Liam like he is the most precious thing>>>>

[yaz-the-spaz]

🥳🥳🥳

and just like that both our boys are free just in time for pride month (again lol) and new music releases 😏😏😏

don'tcha just love science lol 😂❤️💛

[louuthesunflower]

Dear lord when I get to heaven please let me bring my men 🛐

[theeliampayne]

here's some fics I've enjoyed in April! Hoping to make one of these every month from now on. If you read any of these, please leave the authors kudos and/or comments!

skinny dip (in water under the bridge) by @itsnotreal / hazzahtomlinson (880) [louis/harry]

It’s a Wednesday and nostalgia might just get the best of Louis.

I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover. by ziamscherry (921) [zayn/liam]

Liam proposes twice and Zayn finally says yes.

I'll knock on your door, it will save me from calling by @hl-obsessed / hl-obsessed (RozaDhampir) (5.7k) [zouis/larry/ziam]

Louis hears "Good Years" for the first time. Harry is there to pick up the pieces. or Zayn makes some questionable choices. Louis makes some long awaited moves. Sometimes heart broken all over again is the first step to healing and making everything right again. *** Dedicated to everyone who ever lost a friend, and still don't know why.

I Roll 'til I Change My Luck by @larry-hiatus (8.4k) [louis/harry]

Dating is hard enough when you're gay. When Louis reveals to his Tinder matches that he uses a wheelchair and has a service dog, things tend to get even more complicated. Too bad the guys on dating apps aren't as sweet and understanding as his best friend Harry...

I Want You Here With Me (Like How I Pictured It) by @enchantedlandcoffee (345) [louis/harry]

"I just- Everyone was there and- and they were all happy and in love and I just- I needed to get out of there, Lou." Harry sniffled, wrapping his coat closer to himself as he trudged down the street. "It's not fair. It's not fair that they all get to be happy and in love and have their partners with them when I can't be with you." OR The one where Harry misses Louis

[so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed]

2023 writing self evaluation

I was tagged by the lovely @neondiamond, thank you!! I was also almost tagged by @lululawrence who texted me but I was already asleep lol.

1. List of works published this year:

In order of posting, these are the 17 fics I published:

April: saw some things on the other side [61K, Larry, written for @onedirectionbigbang]

May: (now I realize that the world outside) it's bigger than me [3,5K, written for @faithinthefutureficfest]

let's get naked and explore (our inner secrets) [8K, Zouis, written for @wankersday]

June: the missing piece that makes me fit [17K, Zouiam, written for @zouisfics]

we will get another day (to begin again) [1,8K, Ziam]

July: rain makes the flowers grow [1,1K, Larry, ficlet friday]

a life that's lived without you [1,1K, Ziam, ficlet friday]

August: and there's no one to blame [1,8K, Larry, ficlet friday]

You don't have to say "I love you", to say I love you [1,5K, ficlet friday]

I'm falling again [2,2K, Larry, ficlet friday]

like a moth into a flame [5,4K, Zouis, written for @wordplayfics]

September: I'll Run (Run to You) [1,1K, Larry, written for @wordplayfics]

like a bridge over troubled water (I will lay me down) [6,4K, written for @wordplayfics]

(don't you ever) hope for something else [5,4K, Ziam, written for @wordplayfics)

you try to stop it tumbling (but on and on it goes) [2,7K, Lirry, written for @wordplayfics]

October: when love gets involved [666, Larry, written for @1dtrickortreatfest]

find a way (to send me a sign) [666, Larry, written for @1dtrickortreatfest]

December: Santa Baby (one little thing I really need) [3K, Larry, written for @parmahamlarrie for the @1dcreatorclubhouse holiday exchange]

In total, including works that I haven't published yet, I've written 129.843 words in 2023.

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

I always really struggle with my Big Bang, and this year was no different. There was a lot of math involved, and a lot of schedules to make sure that the time travel all worked and the dates were accurate. I am really proud of how it turned out though, and the art (by the wonderful @monpetithl) is absolutely stunning.

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

I suppose by default I'm 'least proud' of some fics, since I'm more proud of others, but in general, I'm very proud of everything I published this year.

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

This is from (now I realize that the world outside) it's bigger than me

His throat feels dry and his face looks flushed, and there’s a moment where he contemplates dunking his head under the tap, but he doesn’t want to keep the fans waiting, even if he knows that his band is excellent at keeping the crowd entertained.

Or at least, they usually are. But right now, heading through the hallway back to the stage, all he can hear is silence.

Louis feels his heartbeat kick up a notch, and even though he knows that it’s ridiculous and highly implausible, there’s a brief moment where he wonders if everyone has just up and left. Maybe they’ve had enough. Maybe they only came here to see if he was willing to confirm the rumours, and now that he hasn’t, they’re leaving.

His palms are sweating, making him wipe them on his jeans, and it’s only when the band starts playing the intro to Bigger Than Me that they had come up with for the tour that Louis has the courage to step back onto the stage.

He has just opened his mouth for the first line – when somebody told me I would change – when it sinks in what he’s looking at.

Where the crowd is usually colourful, little rainbow flags showing up throughout the songs, or being held up en masse during a fan project for Only the Brave, it’s almost muted now, blacks and whites and greys.

And purple.

It is a sea of flags. A sea of ace flags.

Louis is vaguely aware that the band has started the intro for the third time. He can hear the cheers, the chants, can see the banners that are being held up by people on the balcony. We love you Louis, they read. We need you and you’ve got us.

His blood is rushing through his ears and he’s pretty sure he’s about two seconds from crying, and there is no way in hell that he’s going to be able to sing this song right now. It’s not even because it’s one of the harder songs in his set and he can feel his throat closing up. But he feels like he needs to acknowledge this. Because while he might not acknowledge it in the press, might play coy, these are his fans. These are the people that get him. The people that understand and support and love him, and they’re right. He’s got them. No matter what else, he’s got these people in his corner.

5. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

So my favourite review wasn't actually written. It was a friend of mine, at the concert in Paris, locking eyes with me during Bigger Than Me, and the two of us sharing a moment because we knew.

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

Honestly, a lot of the year. I've written on something every month, but I've had months where I barely made 5K, if that. I've also had periods where my health was just utterly shit, and periods where I was too busy (like in November, which I mostly spent hanging out with the amazing @chaotic-bells)

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

Well, it is written but not published, but something happened in my Big Bang for 2024 where I was like "really?? this is what you're going with??" and I guess you'll have to find that moment in my fic when it posts.

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

I'm honestly not sure I did, though I feel like I wrote a lot more short fics this year, so I suppose in that regard I grew by being able to write shorter things.

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

I mostly just hope to continue being able to write, continue loving writing, because for a while this year I wasn't sure if I wanted to continue being a writer in this fandom. But I got lovingly told that there was no way I wasn't doing the Big Bang next year, and then I got matched up with an amazing artist (hiii @whatagreatproblemtohave!) so that definitely helped in getting my mojo back.

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

I had wonderful guidance in the form of @londonfoginacup who told me a) you are not dropping out of the big bang and b) how about you rewrite the fic in Zayn's perspective, which has helped A LOT. I've also had an absolutely wonderful friend in @beardyboyzx who has read through a lot of my fics, has offered advice, a sounding board, and anything I could ask for. My beta, as always, is the wonderful @foullovehideout who is just the best person I could ask for. I had such a wonderful time seeing them again this year too.

And then there's the people that I've written with! Most notably, @jacaranda-bloom who is my standard writing buddy, though we've not been able to write together as often as last year, she's still helped me stay committed to my writing and I wouldn't have been able to publish as many fics if it weren't for our sprints.

Lastly, there's the beautiful people from the @1dcreatorclubhouse who have been just wonderful and a great source of joy and comfort.

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

Honestly it always does. Mostly this year in the aro/ace characters, because they are me and I am them.

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

I don't think it's new, really, but a) write what you want to write and b) don't forget that writing is a muscle, it needs to be trained just like anything else. You can't expect the same ease that you felt while writing daily when you end up not having been able to write for a while. Give yourself grace, and above all, believe in yourself and the stories you want to tell. They'll be loved by so many people!

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

Definitely my Big Bang for 2024. It's a struggle and really outside of my wheelhouse, but I'm excited to see where it ends up going. I am also super intrigued by the possible 1daroacefest that @red-pandaaa was running a poll for (you can vote here) so depending on when it runs I definitely want to participate. And I'm thinking I might dabble in some F1 fic next year!

14. Tag three writers whose answers you’d like to read. ;)

I am going to tag the wonderful @beardyboyzx because I need to read their answers. And I am tagging @voulezloux and @reminiscingintherain too!

[so-idialed-9]

I've been so focused on the three in the front, I almost missed the Ziam in the back.

[neondiamond]

As the year is coming to an end very soon, I thought I’d put together a little masterpost of all of the fics, ficlets and drabbles I posted over the past year. Just like last year, the total comes down to 26 fics, which I will say I’m quite surprise by! This list is in order from most to least recent and will be under the cut because otherwise this post would get really long! ✨

🫶 All That Counts (1.2k, G, Larry, Christmas, established relationship, fluff) fic post

A soft Christmas morning in the Tomlinson-Styles household.

🍪 Cookies and Christmas Cheer (1k, G, Ziall friendship, Christmas, nurse AU) fic post

When Niall is feeling a little sad at having to work over the holidays, his fellow nurse Zayn shows him a little Christmas spirit is still possible.

🎄 Mistletoe Kiss (1.2k, G, Larry, Christmas, mutual pining, roommates AU) fic post

A little bit of mistletoe is just the thing Louis needed to let his roommate Harry know he’s got quite the crush on him.

✨ A Special Bond (1.1k, G, Narry friendship, kid fic, Christmas) fic post

Baby Lilah goes to see the Christmas lights with her Daddy Harry and her uncle Niall.

❤️‍🩹 You’re Family (2k, G, Larry, Christmas, asexual characters) fic post

Louis is a little nervous about meeting Harry’s family for the first time for Christmas. Harry’s Mum shows him he has nothing to worry about.

🏠 Not Quite Structurally Sound (1.1k, G, Ziam, Christmas, kid fic) fic post

Zayn and Liam help their two kids build a gingerbread house.

🎅🏻 An Annual Affair (1.6k, G, OT5 friendship, A/B/O, Christmas) fic post

One Direction’s annual Christmas dinner, featuring pregnant Harry and his overprotective Alpha Louis, nervous Liam and his calm and collected mate Zayn, and clueless Niall who may or may not have a death wish.

☕️ You Don’t Have to Be Lonely Tonight (2k, G, Larry, coffee shop AU, Christmas, loneliness) fic post

Louis is stuck working the Christmas day shift at the coffee shop. Harry is the sad stranger who comes in to spend the day there.

🐣 Lucky (In Love) (3.2k, G, Larry, flirting, nursery owner Harry, uncle Louis) fic post

When Louis first volunteered to drop off his nephew Lucky at nursery to help out his nervous sister, he was not expecting the owner to be the most gorgeous man in all of London. He makes sure he’ll get to see him again.

👻 I See You (666, NR, Harry, horror) fic post

An unfamiliar voice disturbs Harry during his bath.

🥰 Little Moments (429, G, Larry, mpreg Harry, donestic fluff) fic post

Louis’ birthday is a quiet affair this year, but it’s for good reason.

👨‍👨‍👧 Family Bonding (1.6k, G, Larry, adoption, kid fic, hurt/comfort) fic post

Louis forges a bond with his new daughter, June, over missing loved ones.

💞 A Sense of Stability (1.9k, G, Larry, canon compliant, domestic fluff) fic post

Harry and Louis have a very mundane and domestic routine on mornings they get to spend together. Harry loves it.

👟 Run To You (2.2k, G, Larry, minor injury, fluff) fic post

Harry injures himself while out on a morning run. Louis comes to his rescue.

💟 Because I Found You (1.2k, G, Larry, asexual characters, acceptance) fic post

Louis stumbles upon a poem Harry wrote about him.

🫃 Whipped (1k, G, Larry, mpreg Harry, fluff) fic post

A lazy Saturday morning in bed with pregnant Harry and whipped Louis.

💜 Inner Crisis (5.5k, G, Larry, asexual characters, acephobia, hurt/comfort) fic post

Louis calls an LGBTQ+ crisis hotline after coming out as asexual to his friends and family doesn’t quite go as well as he’d hoped. Harry answers his call.

🔎 Chasing Feelings (20k, M, Larry, detectives AU, A/B/O) fic post

When homicide detective Louis Tomlinson first gets assigned to work with detective Harry Styles, the newest addition to the Doncaster police station, on the biggest case of his career, he’s less than enthused about it. There’s a serial killer on the loose, and Louis has no time to waste working with a newbie, despite how attracted his inner Alpha may be to Harry’s sweet scent. Along the way, he finds he may have been too quick to judge the Omega.

🩷 June (1.7k, G, Larry, established relationship, adoption, parenthood) fic post

Louis and Harry pick a paint colour for their new daughter’s room.

🌼 I Trust You (1.8k, T, Larry, A/B/O, asexual character, established relationship) fic post

As an asexual Omega, Harry deals with his heats a little differently than most. His Alpha Louis is nothing but supportive.

🪹 Nest To You (15k, T, Larry, A/B/O, nesting, fluff) fic post

Everybody knows it’s in an Omega’s nature to nest, and Harry is no different. From the very first nest he builds to comfort himself when feeling homesick to the nest he one day brings his new pups home to, his Alpha Louis is there to witness it all.

Or: Ten different nests Harry builds throughout his relationship with Louis.

🍀 A Little Cheering Up (1k, G, Narry friendship, kid fic, fluff, St. Patrick’s Day) fic post

Niall is disappointed because he can’t go home to Ireland for St. Patrick’s Day this year. Harry sets out to cheer him up with the help of Niall’s favourite tiny godchild.

❤️ Periodic (1.3k, G, Larry, OT5 friendship, girl direction) fic post

When Harry’s period has her in so much pain an hour before a show that she’s not sure if she’ll be able to perform, the other girls take matters into their own hands to help her feel better.

💍 Literally Falling For You (5.2k, E, Larry, proposal, smut) fic post

After five years of being together, Louis decides to propose to Harry on his birthday, and he needs everything to be perfect and sentimental down to every last detail. When his plans get derailed at the last minute, he decides to postpone the proposal on Valentine’s day instead. It’s just as amazing as he’d imagined.

🏆 Backstage at the Grammy’s (882, M, Larry, canon compliant, fluff) fic post

There’s someone waiting in Harry’s dressing room after his performance at the Grammy’s.

👶 Bless You! (2k, G, Larry, kid fic, parenthood) fic post

Harry and Louis’ young daughter, Ava, really enjoys when Harry says ‘bless you’ after she sneezes.

[enchantedlandcoffee]

New ask game - Describe relationships with your moots at OT5 friendships

I am terrified of this game because I know that I'm gonna miss someone out but I'll give it a shot (and I associate multiple people with multiple friendships so I do apologise)

NARRY: @babyhoneyheslt @hellolovers13 @nooradeservedbetter @justahappycloud --> all Narry friendships to me. I think that Megs and C are definitely the Harry to my Niall. Myri and Can are the Niall to my Harry.

ZOUIS: @rockstarlwt28 @wemadethishome and @louisgayvodka are Zouis friendships for me. Sarah and Hani are the Zayn to my Louis, whereas Christina is the Louis to my Zayn.

LARRY: @red-pandaaa

LIRRY: @onlythebravest @freyaforestafay @itsnotreal Julia and Forest are both the Liam to my Harry I think. They're both quite calm but we can also joke around a lot. Nikki is the Harry to my Liam though I think.

LILO: @aotvfilm @harruandlou @thedevilinmybrain I think Liz is definitely the Liam to my Louis whereas Becky and Jen are the Louis to my Liam.

NOUIS: @nouies @larrysballetslippers @faithinthefuturedeluxe both Lou and Liyah are the Niall to my Louis. Jackie is the Louis to my Niall

ZARRY: @greeneyesfriedrice @alphalouis I think that Sun and Laur are both the Zayn to my Harry. They definitely give off older sibling vibes (even though Laur is younger than me) and we have a sibling kind of banter.

NIAM: @lunarheslwt is the Liam to my Niall (it does swap on occassion though) and is always hyping me up!

ZIAM: @imogenleefic @hereforh I'd say that Gabi is the Liam to my Zayn and that Imogen is the Zayn to my Liam (because I keep trying to persuade her to sleep)

ZIALL: @harrylights @losing-my-mind-in-the-mirror @tommos Rowyn, Moon and Amanda are all very chill and are the calm Zayn to my Niall.

@paranormalbabydoll fits into multiple of these though so I'll list those here XD - Narry, Lilo, and Lirry (Harry, Louis and Liam respectively)

I do apologise if I have forgotten anyone! I did not realise I knew this many people 😅

[merrybloomwrites]

Any favorite A/B/O tropes?

I have 2 A/B/O series that I’m going to be working on soon! One is alpha!niall x omega!reader (side ziam and Larry) and the other is a whole one direction pack fic where reader is the omega and the rest are alphas and betas.

Are there any elements you would want to see? I feel like I included a lot in my alpha!harry story but I’m sure I missed some. I’m hoping to keep these all fresh and different so I’d love to include some new aspects! And of course I’ll reuse some favorites (scenting? Omega drop? Can’t write a story without those!)

Feel free to comment requests/ideas here, ask a question on my page, or message me!

[maurypovichofficial2]

truly the greatest tragedy is that everyone thought larry was real but ziam was right there… remember them on 1d day? remember he only got two eyes? i miss them

WE GOT A ZIAM HOUR!!!!!!!! im still reeling

[ziamminds]

sorry not really a question just want to say I miss ziam so much and it's hard to find an active ziam acc now:((( thanks for still here

Hello👋

So happy that Ziams still alive, actually! We live without any content for months, and I still remember how active I was in 2017 and now I'm barely here but I'm still a Ziam 💪 And I miss them so so much 😫😫😫😫

Thank you ❤ Some Ziam gifs for you 💪

[ziamln]

Long ramble post. [1D]

I’m feeling nostalgic, overanalysing shit, and bored on a Thursday night with nothing to do. You can read this or skip over it, especially if you disagree, I’m not looking for drama. This will probably be messy and incoherent with 0 structure. For those of you who weren’t there during the 1D era, this may be confusing, particularly if you weren’t there during the shit storm that was 2015/16. Again, feel free to skip this, as it will be long and probably won't make sense, but this is my blog so you don’t necessarily have to agree with me. Before I go into this I feel like I need to clarify, I am proud of all 5 boys and their solo careers, I support them all wholeheartedly, and my saying I miss OT5 doesn’t mean I don’t. some things are facts stated by the boys others are merely a speculation or my own deduction from what has been implied or reading between the lines, just to put that out there. Bear in mind I am a Ziam blog, Liam and Zayn have always been my focal point, and always will be and I also have a Louis [& slight Larry] bias so, do what you will with that information. Basically feel free to skip!

It was so good to see Zayn in an interview after so long [I can't lie it's so weird hearing people commenting on his talking voice as something new and unusual], but hopefully, he’ll actually get better promo for this upcoming album, I’m super excited either way, his music is rarely short of anything but a masterpiece. But there’s a line in Zayn’s recent podcast which stuck out to me.

Personally, I found this intriguing, because at least to me, I feel as though it explains quite a few things. Particularly regarding Zouiam [Zayn, Louis and Liam], I’m not saying it didn’t apply to Niall or Harry but, I feel like it provides some sort of perspective on things others have speculated on, and also some things I have speculated on. Again, this is merely a speculation on my part, you don’t have to agree [scrolling is very easy]. I will not claim to know as much as I may have known about all 5 of them as I did 8 years ago, admittedly, though I support most of the boys through listening to their music, I don’t pay much attention beyond that to anyone other than Zayn, Liam and sometimes Louis, this isn’t to say I don’t like Niall, I enjoy his music or Harry, I have always been a Ziam/ Zouiam account and have always stuck to them, and as solo artists, I prefer their music, even during their time as a band. [As I’m sure many have a preference for the other boys. I don’t see an issue with it unless it is purposefully disrespectful or hateful to others.]

I know a lot of people are stuck on the line of how after ‘5 years together they all got sick of one another’, which is understandable and perhaps almost inevitable. [Personally, as someone with a sibling I definitely understand the sentiment] I don’t see any malice or drama in it, it would naturally happen to anyone after so many years of constantly being together, with barely any breaks and performing together non-stop for almost 5 years. It would catch up to even the most patient of people, especially considering how they were literally teenagers/ young adults the whole time. Nothing he said in that interview was hateful at all.

Also not to dismiss his line about how he said "I completely selfishly wanted to be the first person to go and make my own record." with this, whilst I’m not saying it’s untrue because it could be true that that's what happened. But I can’t deny its a little confusing because of the number of times the story of his reasoning for leaving the band has been changed throughout the years, initially, it started as him citing stress and saying he wanted to be a ‘normal 22-year-old’, then it was that he said there was ‘never any room for me to experiment creatively’ made sense as it was rumoured that his writing had been snubbed on Four and it could possibly be a mixture of all the reasons combined. But my point is we have been given many different reasons, but we will probably never know the full truth, so at this point, it's anyone’s guess as to what the actual reasoning was.

Of course, there is no doubt that behind the scenes of the entire One Direction era was a complete shit show, as has been stated/ hinted at by most if not all members at this point in some way, shape or form. So we can only begin to imagine the stress and pressure they were constantly put through. There is a lot we don’t know about that time, and probably never will. Some things are perhaps even traumatic for the boys who had to go through it, all we can do is speculate and be as supportive as possible as fans. 

I mean I feel like this trauma has presented itself in different ways with each member, perhaps in ways we will never know, Zayn himself has stated that we could never understand that time as it is something only they would get. 

In terms of image and what they show; Niall is quiet, unproblematic and as far as I’m aware he seems pretty much like, other than his music and tours, he keeps to himself. Harry from my impression, is a loudly quiet person, by this I mean, he comes across as loud as though he divulges a lot, people may claim he is the one who people have the most knowledge of, which is true to an extent. But in terms of his personal life, there are limitations, understandable of course, but it seems to me we only know what we are shown and the rest is left to be read between the lines. 

Louis, I feel as though we learn more about him through his music, his private life is fairly private, other than what he talks about and what we are shown, [side note: not everything that we are shown is necessarily how it is/true, this applies to all 5 boys] Louis is also quite an interesting case, we saw him get progressively quieter as time went on, especially in comparison to how he was in 2010/11, [many fans who believe in Larry attribute this to him being pushed into the closet and having to hide his more ‘flamboyant nature’] or it could be a simple case of all the stress and difficult life events taking its toll, or even [I think it's likely] a combination of all of this. Either way, it has been disheartening to witness.

Zayn has always been the most misunderstood I think. As Zayn himself said, they were all given personas and that has stuck with them from their time in the band, even until this present day I would say, [I wish some would consider this in Liam's case but that's for another post]. If you saw Zayn from 2010/11 he wasn’t particularly ‘mysterious’ or such, in fact, he was quite boisterous and funny if my memory serves me correctly, but again If the management wanted them to have a certain persona they were going to make sure it stuck. Zayn has always kept his private life exactly that, private. Typically in the case of his relationships [I would say this applies to some of Liam's also] but the main times we would hear about Zayn's relationships is if it was to make Zayn out to be a bad guy or to benefit the woman he was dating at the time through PR or some way as such, which is quite telling in itself.

Liam, again, people would think Liam is quite public and we know a lot about him but if you pay close attention, it's not the case at all. We don't know anything other than what we are told by the press or what we see. This is the case for all of them but as we know, from recent videos that Liam has done, there are a lot of other factors at play and a lot of distortion of stories and such that happens that we will never truly understand, we can only look out for it.  [another side note: IMO Liam is the full package he’s got the vocal range, the lyrical range, the melodies the dance moves, the fashion but he got so sabotaged and that pisses me off so much.]  Liam had always been the spokesperson for One Direction whilst in the band. Some people, particularly some groups of ‘fans’ or newer fans think that all his talking about 1D is him ‘trying too hard’ or whatever else to bash him. But the truth is, if you look closer, he never really stopped being the spokesperson for the band. He speaks on all of their solo endeavours, all of their achievements, indulges the nostalgic fans and is the one who most openly shows his support, he still holds the role of the spokesperson, just in a different manner. 

At a point you would seldom hear them talk about their One Direction days, unless you are the spokesperson... [it has become more frequent now], which is understandable as they are now Solo artists and perhaps wanting away from that image, but it is also quite curious in a way. But that is best left for another ramble. However, up until recently, I feel like the boys who have spoken the most about the band have been, in a sense, allocated to speak more on the topic than others [Personally I link this to the Politics comment, I’ll explain a little later on] But I find it interesting as to the different reactions we get from certain groups about each member when they do speak about their time in One Direction. Typically, Harry and Niall are met with positive reactions, with a few exceptions of course. Zayn sits in between, some of it gets regarded with nostalgia, other reactions are positive and hopeful and then the outright negativity too. Louis again sits in the middle. Liam however, you do of course get nostalgia and of course positive reactions from his fans and some OT5 fans. However, this is severely outweighed by the negativity he receives for it from *certain* ‘fans’ and some newer fans and just general people who like to jump on the hate bandwagon [side note: my god I miss 2013/2014 1D Twitter].

I’m not sure how many remember ‘Weed Gate’, how this was in a way at the time ‘damaging’ to the clean image they had and how much shit it was speculated to have caused behind the scenes, involving Zayn and Louis. 

Louis and Zayn take a video doing weed in a car in one of the Peru (where weed isn’t illegal) on tour, there started some articles that make it sound like Zayn was sick or addicted to drugs. I feel like this was also a big player in how things turned out, Zayn took most of the heat from this and from our end it looked like no one did a thing to help. [We don't know what happened BTS]. Particularly interesting from this headline was the reiterating of the ‘squeaky clean image’, not long after this there were articles about 1D not getting along that came out of nowhere, particularly about how Harry was really angry with them and such. Even more interestingly disgustingly, Zayn took on most of the heat from this despite Louis also being in the video. 

Not long after this, Zayn missed some promo interviews and the album release in Orlando because of 'illness’, they get asked on the Today show if it’s actually because of drugs [entirely inappropriate] Liam, [looking pissed] reiterated it was a stomach bug. it would also be poignant to point out that Zayn looked very unwell at the time [I would think this would be regarding the eating disorder he previously mentioned] but many thought and press stated it as being related to drugs. At the time he was also, as he did throughout his time in the band, until this very day in fact, received disgusting prejudice and hate based on his religion and ethnicity. 

To touch lightly on the politics comment: obviously, we won't know the full extent. But if one were to speculate on the matter; we know certain people had been trying to pinch Harry since pretty early on in the band, so it would make sense that some of the comments Zayn made about the contracts make a lot of sense, I feel like it also links well with what Louis said about Harry calling the Hiatus. 

‘Certain people didn’t want to sign contracts,’ This line is so vague, but at the same time, I feel like it could be linked to a number of things. It could have been Harry wanting to leave to go solo. If you believe in Larry and Ziam it could have been a harsher contract regarding keeping them hidden with more shit attached. It could have been regarding the music they make, ridiculous NDA’s or any number of things, the speculation could be endless. However, it further reiterates the point that we can never understand fully what was at play behind the scenes, as much as we would like. But one thing we did see was how the boys went from being seemingly happy, excited and relatively carefree to burdened, exhausted and jaded which is somewhat self-explanatory [fuck 1DHQ]. I was going to add a bit about their images regarding the politics but I believe that is best left for another post.

If you think the boys are free/ ever have been, I’m sorry to burst your bubble but I doubt that has ever been the case, be that within the band or as solo artists. Feel free to check out this post if you require more insight, https://www.tumblr.com/yaz-the-spaz/662781923367747584?source=share. I don't think we could ever understand, nor will we ever know the extent of what the boys were/ have been put through. Hence why they all say they have a special bond because only they understand. I feel as though villainizing any particular member is very harmful, because at the end of the day at the time they were kids doing something so amazing that hadn't really been done on that scale before. What I do find gross is the fact that some refuse to speak up about the unnecessary hate certain groups give to other members [that again is another post entirely]. At the same time, it is important to remember whilst it might seem like other members have more freedom than others, which could be the case, it doesn't mean any of them are entirely free.

I’d say back to my point, but I wasn't particularly trying to make one in this post, this was simply an info/ speculative ramble, you don't have to agree with what has been said. But if you did read through, I’d love to, respectfully, of course, hear your thoughts, and opinions on everything. I will make posts on everything I’ve said requires its own post because I feel as though there is a lot to talk about on a number of topics so they will come in due time. 

At the end of the day, as Zayn [and Liam in the past] said; “You know, we’ve done crazy things with each other and that nobody else in the world will ever understand or have them. Experiences that we've shared.”

But yeah, all in all, it was good to hear Zayn talk about his chickens and describe himself as a chill, funny and loving guy because it's so much more true to him than being painted as mysterious and I love that for him.

[yaz-the-spaz]

I have a new second favorite Zayn and here's reasons #1-∞ why...

first off, for anyone who may have missed it liam participated in Soccer Aid this week and made a new friend with an old name. enter tiktoker & youtuber zaynqf, who makes football content but was clearly fangirling over liam (much like another zayn we know lmao) 😆

...BUT things really popped off when zayn(qf) made a post including a caption with a punny joke about himself and liam (included in the screenshots below)

as they do, fans reacted and the result was...interesting 😏

and then just to make sure what was seemingly being implied by zayn(qf) was crystal clear someone else followed up and...

THEN as if to double down on his chaotic and downright egregious behavior (sir! we were not prepared!) AND add fuel to the already deliciously burning fire, he proceeded to view (and even like) posts from other ziams' stories

there may be even more of these, i'm not sure, but these are just the ones i happened to see (if people have screenshots of more of him creeping on ziam posts please do feel free to send them in so i can add them to this post lol!)

anyways, in conclusion, I have a new second favorite zayn and now you all do too. let's welcome our new surrogate captain of this beautiful ship warmly! 😜🏳️‍🌈

[jaesama]

Hey! I just finished re-reading Pride (for the hundredth time) and started cracking up bc I saw your comment on it! I miss miss miss my days of scrolling through your jaecchi account and having so much ziam fun. Thanks for the years of hard work and the laughs and smut, I hope whatever you’re doing now is what you’ve always dreamed of! <3 I hope all is well with you, you were always my favorite!

lmaoooo fuck it’s been so long i don’t even remember what i said. i def need to reread Pride tho :p and thank you so much! hope all is well with you ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed]

a life that's lived without you

[Ziam, 1.1k, T]

In all of his 116 years, Zayn has never quite felt this way about anyone. Liam is so incredibly human, in the worst and best ways. He’s fragile, even when he pretends not to be. He’s soft and kind, clumsy at times. He’s strong and full of life, full of love even when people around him give him cause to be anything but.

He’s sunshine and happiness and Zayn watches because he can’t not be drawn to him, to this boy that personifies those things that he has been missing out on for over a century.

Written for ficlet friday for the 1D Creator Clubhouse for the prompt “It’s okay. I couldn’t sleep anyway.”