#i missed so much of it while ive been away from tumblr

[somebodylovesyougcv]

hi tumblrinas, long time no see. just got out of rehab! and immediately opened ibooks at the airport to read a klaine fic i have downloaded

[roodles03]

The Art of Alastor's Expressions: An Analysis by an Profressional Cartoon Artist and Current Animation Student

This is not related to TOH but I wanted to bring this up because the art how they animate Alastor's facial expressions deeply fanisnates and heavily impresses me. And also because I'm an animation nut and I am currently in animation school and I heavily appreciate the art of animation.

In Dad Beat Dad, during the scene where Husk confronts Alastor about Mimzy, directly after when Husk says, "You've been gone a while, and it's not like anyone knows why," there is exactly THREE frames where Alastor's pupils turn into dials as he eyes away. (Being most noticable on the first)

Now I gurantee since Husk was talking, there was a good amount of viewers focusing on him as the focal point, over Alastor, despite this shot being from Alastor's POV. Meaning a lot of people probably missed Alastor even eyeing away at all on their first viewing. But this is noticable on a rewatch and if you just focus on Alastor as the focal point.

But I have never seen anyone point out that his pupils actually turn into dials here. And you definitely wouldn't even notice UNLESS you spefically paused on one of those three frames. To give you an idea of how truly fast these frames go by, typical 2D animation runs at 24 fps. These three frames only last 20 milliseconds together. And since the detail is so tiny it is nearly impossible to notice when the shot is running normally at 24 fps. Its even hard to notice if you pause on these three frames because this detail is so small.

Whoever animated this added this detail despite the fact nearly no one would notice just to truly show Alastor losing his compsure. And as one of my animation profressors said "Every detail in animation is intentional since you create everything from nothing," (Unless it is an animation error) And as someone who is currently in a hand drawn 2D animation class, yeah, you spend a while on every single frame, knowing its only gonna be shown for a few milliseconds and the overwhelming majority of people will never notice or even care to notice. But You can slip in tiny details like this that add an incredible amount of insight to the very slim margin of people who will dissect your animation looking for details, or even just looking for funny inbetween frames or animation errors and they happen to discover a cool detail you left.

Back on the topic of Alastor. People have noticed that often Alastor's eyes give away how he's truly feeling through the mask of the smile he puts on. And they're absolutely right. But ive never seen anyone talk about this moment.

And in these brief three frames he loses his compsure for just a BRIEF moment upon being reminded of his deal. In fact, look at his expression in both the key frames right before these three inbetween/extreme frames

Overwhelmingly confident after he says "Who in their right mind would cross me?"

Doubtful of Husk after he says "You've been gone a while"

Losing his compsure when Husk reminds him of his deal after he says "And it's not like anyone knows why,"

Then puts on his classic mask, with that look in his eyes completely gone, saying "They don't need to know," (about why he was gone)

It's incredible how much three frames of showing Alastor losing his compsure adds to his character and this scene.

Also, This is not the only time where Alastor has an expression where it's clear that his deal is some sort of trigger to him, either. (Outside his verse in Finale which is obvious) Just look at these frames when Zestial simply comments that he's be gone for a while and there were rumors that he fell to holy arms

(wasn't able to include the other frame of his eyes going side to side damn you tumblr)

He also clearly looks away from Zestial as well, avoiding eye contact or even facing him when Zestial questions why he's been gone, indirectly reminding Alastor of his deal.

I love these such tiny details about Alastor. Its clear he is often hiding so much behind his smile. And since I can't add more pictures (thanks tumblr), I cannot even go into the two frames where he actually does frown, or another two frames where it's up for debate if he frowns. But I feel like there's more to say here where his eyes give away everything despite his smile, even if its just for a few frames, rather then the four frames where its either up for debate if he is frowning or he is clearly frowning.

I also want to mention that accomplishing expressions like like this is incredibly hard. Drawing is hard. Animating is even harder And despite expressions being my strong point, expressions are still hard as hell.

Most and sometimes all parts of the face go into making the right expression. Eyes, eyebrows and the mouth are the main factors, but you can even use the nose for extereme negative emotions (often used for extreme anger, hysterical ugly crying, or intense disgust. Hazbin actually does this for Alastor in one shot to my memory When Carmilla says she wasn't wondering where Alastor has been for the past 7 years) And depending on the character design, you can also even use their ears (positive emotions they perk up, and negative emotions they flatten. Most commonly seen in characters with animal ears but humanoid characters with pointed human-like ears can do this too. Like the witches from The Owl House for example the use of Ears also apply to Alastor when he experiences EXTREME negative emotions... Or Susan)

But when you take away a major part of the face, mainly eyes or the mouth, making the proper expressions becomes a lot harder. But it is possible. think Let Me Explain Studios or character's with hair covering both or even one eye. But Alastor is the only case I've seen where he actually does have ALL the facial features for expressions available, (including ears which is not common!) BUT one of them is actively working against the others parts of the expression, which is the fact that he is REQUIRED to smile. That means you must always draw him smiling, in every single frame, but try and use his other features (mainly his eyes and sometimes his nose or ears) to try and hint at his true emotions. Take a moment to think how HARD that is. That is insane.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed my Ted talk about Alastor and his emotions lmao.

[mamaestapa]

IM BACK!!

hi loves!! did you miss me? cause i missed YOU

sooo, after going MIA for a lil bit and popping in every once in a while to say some random bs like i always do...i am finally back from my little break!

it felt so good to step away for a bit and focus on myself, school and my personal life. as much as i love tumblr and this community, it felt like i was putting literally all my time and energy into this app and it was v unhealthy. changing my user/theme and stepping away was the best idea for me and now i feel so refreshed and SO motivated!

ive missed writing and talking about my au's, especially digital animal. so i will be back to answering asks and writing about our favorite au's and threesomes very soon ;)

i've seen all of your messages and asks, and i appreciate all of your kind words and concern about where i've been lol. i've truly missed interacting with all of you lovelies and i'm very excited to be active again. thank you SO much for being patient with me during my break. you and your support means the world to me, i love each and every one of you🫂🤍

also, i will be fixing the rest of the digital animal masterlist links tonight, so all of my masterlist links should be updated!

i have some exciting things planned for the next couple months now that i'm finishing up the semester. i cant wait to share it all with you🤭

LOVE YOU SO MUCH BABES😚

[moonlightandmarble]

Give Me The Night-Prelude Nocturnus

I posted this on AO3 under the same name but if you're allergic to the site or just want to read on tumblr here it is. Again this is part of an ongoing AU with @costumersupportdept

Desperate to save Vessel, III, and IV from Sleep's domination, II makes one last ditch effort and summons forth Night herself. Because who better to beat a god, than another god?

Prelude:

ii smoothed out a wrinkled and torn bit of aged paper with slightly shaking hands. The writing was barely legible in the dim light of his single candle, but that’s all he could allow for. He already was risking too much as it was, and he kept looking over his shoulder, almost certain at any moment that he would be found out. That the door would be wrenched open and he would be dragged kicking and screaming across the Beach and into the cold depths to be shredded apart by tooth and tentacle.

And that was if he was lucky. If he were unlucky then the punishment would be much harsher, and much more prolonged.

“I must be absolutely mental. Nothing is going to happen…but if nothing is going to happen, why am I about to piss myself in terror?”

He shuddered, and squeezed his eyes shut of the mental images that had been etched into his mind. The ones that played out over and over again whenever he tried to sleep. Vessel screaming wordlessly in the sea while ii was screaming himself, reaching out for him but too far away to help. And then there was nothing but blood, the tide churning and stained crimson. Vessel nowhere to be found.

As horrific as the images were they were a reminder as to why he was doing this. He was starting to lose count of how many times Vessel had died and washed up on the shore days later, but more and more lately when he came back he was…changed. More of his memories were missing, and it was taking longer for him to recover. It filled ii with dread, but also anger. And the anger was winning out against the fear he had of Sleep’s potential punishment for him. At least with IV and III away only he would get the blame if he were caught. But they wouldn’t be away for long, and he didn’t have any more time to waste.

He bent over the paper, squinting. He had gone over the words it felt like 1000 times already, but he wanted it to be perfect. He cleared his throat, stilled his thoughts, and in a voice barely above a whisper spoke the hymn,

“Nyx, parent goddess, source of sweet repose, from whom at first both Gods and men arose, Hear, blessed Kypris, deck’d with starry light, in sleep’s deep silence dwelling Ebon night! Dreams and soft case attend thy dusky train, pleas’d with the length’ned gloom and feaftful strain. Dissolving anxious care, the friend of Mirth, with darkling coursers riding round the earth. Goddess of phantoms and of shadowy play, whose drowsy pow’r divides the nat’ral day: By Fate’s decree you constant send the light to deepest hell, remote from mortal sight For dire Necessity which nought withstands, invests the world with adamantine bands. Be present, Goddess, to thy suppliant’s pray’r, desir’d by all, whom all alike revere, Blessed, benevolent, with friendly aid dispell the fears of Twilight’s dreadful shade.”

He sighed as he finished, before reaching out to pinch the wick of the single candle, casting the room into total darkness. What was done was done, and now he needed to wait.

The room was so quiet that the ocean tide sounded like it was a far off memory, and the sound of his own heart thudding in his chest became deafening. Still he waited.

And he waited.

And he waited a little more.

He heaved a great sigh of disappointment, “Great. Another failure, and now I’m sitting here in the dark talking to myself like an idiot. At least no one can see me making an ass of myself.” He stood up and reached blindly for a match to relight the candle, when a soft smoky voice spoke from directly behind him,

“Hello.”

His heart jolted and he nearly screamed, just managing to stop himself by clamping a hand over his own mouth as he whipped around to look behind him.

The wall behind him was dark of course, just as the rest of the room was, but somehow not as dark as the shadow that was stretching up it, moving like liquid and shaping itself into a vaguely human form, two lights like distant stars where the eyes should be. The shadow began to solidify, taking on the shape of a tall woman crowned with lyre-shaped horns, inky wings stretching out behind her before reshaping themselves into a velvety cloak. Now that she was becoming more…physical…he saw her eyes were reflective like a cats, and she yawned, revealing a mouth filled with too many teeth, sharp ones that that. He slowly lowered his hand from his mouth as he looked up at her, and it took everything in him to not turn and bolt as she took at step towards him,

“Why have I been summoned?”

He stammered, all the different versions of how he would speak to her that he had played out in his head vanishing in a puff of panic, “Ah w-well, you see my friend he u-uh, well it started when…um…”

She leaned in slightly, eyes narrowing as she sniffed at him, and he immediately froze like a prey animal.

“Something…smells familiar on you"

"S-smells… smells familiar?"

"Like someone I knew before…a very long time ago. Who is this friend of yours?"

"I just…He.. I know him as Vessel? He’s tall? Broody? He’s-he’s got a white and red mask, he was already here when I first arrived and he was sort of feral when we met and didn’t even remember how to speak but-um-”

Her head tipped, eyes still narrowed.

"He’s a brilliant singer? Emotionally tortured? Um…six eyes?”

Her head lifted and her eyes widened slightly, "A singer?”

ii swallowed but felt relieved at the slightly more positive response, “Ye-yeah. Yeah, he’s got a really beautiful voice.”

She hummed, whispering half to herself, “Perhaps a distant relative…and you summoned me because of this Vessel, why?”

"I… I…", ii presses the heels of his hands into his eyes and takes a big shuddery breath, "He's gotten himself entangled with another deity- to Sleep. Vessel, he's not-he's not doing well. Sleep's been using him as a mouthpiece but I think Vessel's… well, he's getting worn down. He's trying to do more thinking on his own, but then he feels guilty, and then there's turmoil and Sleep gets angry with him and there's…. there's a lot of blood. And Sleep has realized now that if he tortures the rest of us - there are two more of us, I sent them on an errand so I could try this - but if he tortures us then Vessel's more likely to give in to what Sleep wants because he feels bad about inflicting all of that on us but I can just see him going more and more-sort of transparent around the edges. And I-I just-I love him a lot and I want him to be okay again. I want him to…I want him to be able to live"

As the words all tumbled out of him he felt hot tears burning behind his hands, his voice coming out in a choked sob, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Everything else I’ve tried has failed and every time he comes back he remembers less and I’m not trying to cause you offense but I have no idea what I’m doing and I’m scared I’m making things worse please just-“

There was a quiet “Shhhshhhshhh”, and a warm hand on his shoulder gently squeezing. He looked up blearily, and saw that Night was looking at him with a gentle smile. Her purple irises regarded him kindly, and he could see that her skin was flecked with silver, making her look like clear sky at midnight.

“I understand well wanting to protect those you love. What you want is very noble. Of course I will help you, in whatever way I can.”

ii blinks at her, "You will? You will. Oh god," he wobbled to his knees and breathed audibly, pressing his face into his hands and rocking a little."Thank you, holy shit, thank you. I'll do whatever you need me to do, I just want to see him stop hurting all the time. Whatever sacrifice I have to make, I'm willing, anything you want to demand of me, thank you, please, just, I want him to be okay."

Night put a hand under one of his arms, helping him to his feet. She was strong, very strong, but still gentle, "It's obvious you care a lot about your loved ones, and things must be truly desperate in order for you to call upon one such as me. Here, come, let me help you sit down. Light your candle and tell me more of Sleep and eat of this…this-”, she tipped her head as she examined a plate that he had left out on the table, “-well it's some sort of food you appear to have placed as an offering but I am unsure of what it is exactly?"

ii smiled weakly, "Oh, it's um, it's a Jaffa cake. IV loves them. I wasn't sure what you would want, or need? Is there something I can…offer you now that you're here?"

Night picked up the cake, sniffing it curiously before taking a delicate bite. As ii watched expectantly she perked up, looking at him and smiling, "It's very good. No no. This is…much better than a burnt sheep. You'll have to excuse my rudeness…it's been…a very long time since anyone has called upon me. I have heard a little of the modern world but a lot is still unfamiliar to me. So I suppose I would ask that you teach me of it. Over time, of course"

Ii rubbed his hands together between his knees, “Unfortunately, time may be what we don’t have a lot of”, he fumbled with the matches before lighting his candle, “Um, so we’re part of a band and we’re about to go spend half a year performing all over the world.” He sighed, “Initially I think it might have been Vessel’s idea, because like I said, amazing singer. What better way to get Sleep’s message to people? But I think now he’s started doubting more and more and writing songs I don’t think Sleep likes…but Vess- he’s too stubborn to stop performing them, and we’re about to be dropped in the middle of normal humanity to do this and -god- I just don’t know how it’ll go if he already seems ready to just disintegrate half the time.”

She squinted as the candle was lit, but then ate another bite of the Jaffa cake, considering, "So that I understand correctly: you summoned me to defeat Sleep in order to save the one you love. But first we must go on this…tour…among regular humans. And obviously I wouldn't fit in among you so you need me to remain hidden but available for the next time Sleep attacks your Vessel? Yes?”

ii dropped his head back into his hands, "Yes? I guess? I-I don't know what I was thinking as far as a gameplan…just that I was a little desperate and I knew that the safest time to try this was when Sleep had him and I could convince III and IV to go-", he cut off and looked up in wide-eyed terror, "Fuck. FUCK!". He pushed himself to his feet and grabbed her hand in his, "He's back, he's on the beach, you have to stay here I don't know if Sleep can see you or-" he waves a hand "-feel you or anything, but I have to go get him and if Sleep knows I've done this he's going to tear him into pieces in front of me and I don't…. I can't-", his lip quivers and Night curls her lip in the direction of the Beach. She turned back to him, “There's one way for me to hide but I need your consent. He can't feel me if I'm hiding within another body."

II blinked at her for a second and then squeaked "In me?"

Night nodded, "Yes. I promise it won't hurt"

II looked towards the direction of the Beach again, clenching his fists, before looking back at her and nodding, “Do it.”

Night turns back into ebon mist, before sinking into his skin, "Now go, save your friend"

II didn’t pause to consider how weird this was, instead immediately turning and throwing the door open, sprinting for the unmoving black lump that was laying on the tideline. He dropped to his knees in the soaked sand behind Vessel and pulled his head up onto his thigh, getting his face out of the rising tide. He held him there with one arm as he started checking for major injuries with the other, talking to him, urging him back to consciousness, "You're okay, you're okay, I've got you, c'mon back. You're Home. Are you with me, Vess? You're safe now, you're not with Sleep, c'mon"

Vessel lurched as he tried to take a breath, breaking into a violent cough that led to him choking up a thick, cold, black blob. II rubbed between his shoulder blades, holding him sideways so he could get all of the black muck out of himself and into the water.

"There you go, okay, I got you, get it all out, I know it's gross”, he let Vessel convulse it out before cradling him, rocking gently as he waited for his limbs to start working again, "We'll get you back in the cave and warm when you get your legs back, III's not here and I don't want to drag you if I don't have to."

Vessel managed to croak out, “…where?”, blindly pawing at and clutching onto II, before blinking around wildly like a spooked animal.

II pet his head like he was comforting a frightened child, “You’re on the Beach, Sleep’s not here, I’ve got you, sweetheart. Get your legs working and we’ll get you back in the cave next to the fire with all the blankets I can-JESUSFUCK-”, he doubles over Vessel as something lurches in his chest, his heart feeling like it was trying to rip it’s way out of his ribcage, and for a split second he thinks to himself that Sleep has caught him and he’s about to die.

Almost as soon as it happens however, it stops, and he hears Night’s voice in his ears, "I-I’m so sorry.”

II manages a deep breath, “What was that for?!”

Night’s voice sounded shaken, and even as she tried to reassure II it made him feel all the more worried, “It’s…it’s nothing. I’m sorry. I will explain later. Let’s just, get him back into the cave. I could carry him for you?”

He shook his head, trying to not drop the barely-there Vessel back into the water, “No, no you need to stay hidden. He could come back and for all I know he may have already figured out what I did.” He shifted Vessel around as gently as he could, before getting an arm under him, “C’mon big guy, both legs, here we go,” he staggers them both to standing and starts coaxing Vessel across the sand, one dragging step at a time.

Vessel mumbled, "So cold…no sounds…"

II stroked down his back as he shuffled him forward, “I know, sweet boy, you’re back now. Let us get off the beach and I promise you tea and blankets and you can cuddle me for as long as you like, I swear.”

Night’s voice was like a little moth softly fluttering by “…how many times has this happened?”

II sighed, "I’ve…lost count. I don’t know, once every couple of months? Sleep just sort of appears, there's some sort of discussion, sometimes he leaves Vessel alone, sometimes he picks him up and takes him somewhere, sometimes he ah…. shows his displeasure more overtly? But any time Vess…. goes away….. he eventually reappears on the tideline like someone's dumped him out of the back of a cosmic panel van." II hung his head a little as he trudged Vessel through the sand, "I'm terrified that someday he…. won't, that he'll just be… gone."

"Does he ever speak to the rest of you?"

"Who, Sleep? Not in so many words. He ah…uses Vessel? Sometimes to try to keep us in line- he dropped him in the water once and made me- Shhshhh, it's okay, we're almost there" he patted Vessel's back again as he started to falter. "-he made me watch him um… bleed out in the water…. without being allowed to go help once, after he saw my first round of research, and that was…not great." He blinks hard against the scene of blood and screaming, before finally shuffling Vessel through the main opening of the cave he and the others called home. He gets him propped into a pre-made nest of pillows and blankets in front of the fire, pulling off his wet clothes and rubbing at his clammy limbs before wrapping him up again in the blankets, kissing him on the cheek. "Vess, you with me? Tea or cuddles first? III and IV should be back eventually so you can still get tea if you want to hold onto me for a while, it may just not be as fast."

"I…wish I could say I'm surprised, but…I have come across Sleep's kind before. They are…quite cruel". Her voice sounds like it's on the verge of breaking as she speaks, and she goes quiet.

Vessel lays still, panting and pale before clutching onto II’s wrist so hard that it almost hurt, "D-don't leave, please."

II kissed him on the forehead, "Oh baby, okay, no leaving. C'mere, sweet boy, you're alright, time to get warm." He adjusted himself until Vessel put his face into his neck and curled up around him, shaking and curling his fingers into his clothes. II looked up, trying to blink away the tears that were threatening to fall, "I’m here, I'm not going anywhere. Rest now, you're back, you're warm."

He sat quietly with Vessel, waiting for the shakes to subside, and as he did Night spoke up once again."I can feel how much you love him. I promise I'll do everything in my power to help you. The promise of a god isn’t lightly given. "

II closed his eyes and shuddered slightly, the tears leaking out around the edges, "Thank you. I'll do anything you want, I promise, any-any debt that needs paid, I'm willing. Whatever it takes. I don’t care."

"You owe me nothing. There is no debt. I want to help you, to help him. I…thought because I smelled someone familiar to me on you and because of the hymn that this was…some sort of trick. But I think I understand now…", II felt her shift slightly in his chest, "Do you…believe in Fate?"

II wiped at his eyes with his fingers. "I don't-I think I don't understand, Fate? I promise I wasn't trying to trick you, I might have gotten something wrong in the translation, but it wasn't intentional."

There was a long pause before Night spoke again, "A very very long time ago I had someone I loved very much as well. He was…taken from me. There was nothing but ashes and bone when I found him. It was as if my very heart was being torn to shreds. When he was taken from me-when he died-it was if a part of me…died with him".

II kissed Vessel's forehead again, softly, lingering to make sure he was sleeping soundly. "I'm sorry…I…think I understand that feeling more than I'd like to."

"He also sang, and wrote poems. I did not ever imagine I would ever hear his voice again except in my dreams. So when we were on the Beach and I heard him speak…it was as if my heart stopped. Your Vessel and my Aneirin…are the same somehow."

II felt his chest clench, only it wasn’t Night that was causing it this time, "I don't… I don't understand…he was here when I got here. He was almost feral, there was nobody else here with him and he was terrified to touch me, it took him weeks to not startle when I talked to him. He-he was so broken.”

And yet, he thought to himself, didn’t Vessel say that Sleep could change things on a whim? and often did? He had seen Vessel die and come back, over and over again. Sleep would do it for any reason, even if it was just to show that he could. Would it be all that unbelievable? It’s not like Vessel could remember where he had come from. None of them really could. At least not wholly.

Night continued, "His death was…traumatic. Horrible and painful and cruel. He had been made a sacrifice to a sun god of a pantheon that revels in blood and agony. They care not for humans except as playthings. When you first told me Sleeps name, I recognized it. He is a part of that pantheon. Although that of course, isn’t his true name."

And that was another thing Vessel had mentioned, that Sleep’s real name wasn’t pronounceable to the human tongue. That he was old, older than humanity and the mountains and maybe even older than the Earth itself.

II stroked the side of Vessel's face, sighing, "Oh Vess, what did you get yourself in the middle of? This is so much bigger than you ever let on, if you even knew, and I don't know if I can untangle all of this without making it worse."

"From what you told me, it’s very unlikely he knew. Sleep would likely have made sure he wouldn’t remember anything”, she made a soft hum, “Three thousand years…oh how I have sought you out in the stars, hoping beyond hope that somehow we would meet again. That you would be reborn. But I never, thought of this.”

II sat dumbfounded, "Three-three thousand years?! He's that old? How is that even possible?"

“You know Sleep is capable of much, you have seen that for yourself. Time doesn’t work the same way for the divine. It is not linear like it is for mortals. It’s more like…a spiral. And for Sleep and his kind, it is even stranger, there is no past, no future…only existence and occurrence.

II blinked, trying to sort through everything going on in his head, "I-I guess I'm sorry? For everything that happened to him. To you. I'm sorry I had to-had to-drag you back together like this, especially when I have to keep you hidden. I’m so sorry. I just wanted-I just was so desperate-"

Night made that gentle shushing sound again, and he could almost feel her hand on his shoulder again, "Don't apologize, you've done nothing but try to save the ones you love. I am still with you, and I will stay with you as I promised. That will not change. Your name is…II? Yes?"

"He named me, I didn't really have a name I knew when I got here."“You’re no longer alone in this II. We will face what comes, together.”

He rubbed his hands over his face, suddenly exhausted, “Are-are you sure there’s nothing you want from me?”

She chuckles softly, “There’s no hurry, but I wouldn’t mind another one of those Jaffa cakes when the chance arises.”

[big-coyote]

hi!! this may be a weird thing to ask about but ive decided to make one of my longtime ocs a coyote therian (they were connected to coyotes since the beginning) and i wanted to ask if theres stuff i should avoid when talking abt them or doing character design?

ive done some research on my own looking thru tumblr blogs ran by therians mostly, but i mightve missed some stuff!

for now they show their theriantophy as either wearing a coyote looking onesie (which is the first outfit they ever had) or when wearing other clothes they have a tail keychain on their trousers, so i also wanted to ask if you know of any other things they could have to connect with their theriotype?

again im sorry if this is a weird question! <3

(1/2) Hello! Not a weird question at all, I’m actually very honored and happy you’ve asked! I have quite a number of OCs myself that are also therians or otherkin adjacent lol. Also if anyone else has any ideas they’d like to add/advice feel free to comment or reblog!

As for things you should ovoid I’d recommend straying away from the idea of therianthropy being inherently because of mental illness. While it’s totally okay for your Oc to struggle with mental health problems or other serious topics. I often see the stigma online where people assume being nonhuman or having a alterhuman identity means the person in question must have Schizophrenia, Dissociative Identity Disorder, psychosis, a delusional disorder, etc. And again while I know plenty of nonhumans who have those disorders (I have some of them) and that may effect their identities as a whole, it shouldn’t be the end all be all of their identity you know? Ovoid adding more stigma to both.

Another thing I’d stray away from is the idea of a character being a therian because of spirit animals or any mythology related to closed practices/groups. I’ve seen many indigenous people online speak about their discomfort with the word ‘spirit animal’ and how it’s been adopted into pop culture. Being alterhuman is much more then “I feel connected to this thing/this thing is just like me”, it runs much deeper then that and it is as much as a real identity as something like gender, sexuality, religion, etc. It should be taken with as much care and seriousness as those other identities because it is huge and important part to a lot of our lives.

Lastly I’d recommend avoiding making the character the butt end of the jokes. While the Oc themselves can be funny, have funny things happen to them or have funny experiences as a coyote Therian I’d ovoid making them the punching bag to other OCs. Online it’s not uncommon to see many people misunderstanding and mischaracterizing being nonhuman for a quick laugh. It be very disheartening if an OCs entire existence in a story is just “haha they think they’re a dog, that’s stupid”. Again it’s important to take any identity like being a Therian seriously instead of just being the punch line for a joke or gag.

As for the clothing I think the onesie would be incredibly cute and good to wear as well as the tail! Many therians wear tails, both real and faux fur ones, to feel connected to their identity and feel more comfortable. I’ve also known many therians who were things like jewelry with their theriotype on it, fake animal ears, t-shirts, rings, fur coats, earrings, pins/buttons, etc. Some also like collecting plushies or posters with their theriotype as well, or having stickers on their books or drawing them. Or if you’d prefer a more casual character design you could have a character who doesn’t wear any outward Therian gear and prefers to keep it low key. Both options are very valid and would be interesting to see!

But no matter what I’m sure your Oc is going to be amazing and I can’t wait to see them! Please tag me if you make any art or stories about them, or if you have any other questions feel free to ask again or DM me!

[thedisablednaturalist]

My parents found out about the present I bought myself for my birthday. I worked my max hours to afford it. I had it shipped to my bfs house so they wouldn't see it. Apparently I missed a receipt that was hidden in the box. Idk how they got it anyway cause I put the box out with the trash/recycling. My mom was being so cruel about it and how I keep buying myself "lavish" gifts (most stuff I buy for fun is like $10-$50 max). I always plan my purchases and have never missed a credit card payment. Most of my money goes towards doctors visits, medication, car maintenance and gas, accessibility items/ergonomic stuff, cat food and litter, and hygiene. Recently I stopped most of my subscriptions save for a cheap minecraft server. The bulk of my pay goes into savings which have really grown since I got my raise. I also give my parents $400 in rent each month. I'm trying to save up for a recliner to replace my bed but I don't want to use the money I've already put away.

Like ok, maybe I'm not mr.frugal. maybe i sometimes buy more expensive things because they're more convenient (like already cut vegetables/fruit or preprepared meals) but like my hands fucking hurt and sometimes I don't have the spoons to feed myself. Maybe I fall prey to impulse purchases once in a while. Im learning and I'm trying to learn how to budget bc now I have to also pay for insurance until I can get on medicaid.

My mom acts like I don't care. She sees amazon packages come for me and think theyre all toys or expensive skincare or junk when its actually body wipes for when I cant shower/so i dont come back from the field to the office all stinky. Its a trash can I can keep on my bedshelf so I dont throw trash onto the floor instead. Its knee braces because my knees fucking suck. Once in a while Ill see something on sale that ive been wanting for a while and will grab it. And the most expensive skincare I use is $20 for a jar that lasts me 3 months. I have to keep my skin clear or ill pick and have scabs and blood all over my face again. I spend money on drag because it MAKES me money. Last time I got paid $100 from the venue and $50 in tips. One time I got paid $300 from the venue (i dont remember how much in tips).

Im trying my best. Im working with 3 government agencies rn to get a job and get health coverage. Im working my ass off at my job when i probably shouldnt be working (my mom laughed when I mentioned this). I'm constantly doing things to earn me money or to make life a bit less painful. Even streaming is a desperate attempt to make a career/side gig out of something I enjoy and doesn't make me flare up. I only watch shows when im with my bf or when im doing chores or working. I rarely play video games. When I flare I lay in bed and scroll Tumblr or play a mindless dress up game where I only have to move my thumb. I cry almost everyday. I cry on the way to work. I cry holding my cat in so much pain i cant move.

The only big frivilous purchases I've made is the present and a new graphics card (I haven't replaced my old one in a decade). The present cost $230 and the graphics card cost $800. Both of these I saved for. I might buy a nice skirt once in a while but thats pretty much it. I also spread out big purchases over time when I can.

Am I spoiled? Maybe. Maybe my parents are right and I'm a lazy spoiled kid who just makes excuses. But my pain is real, constant, and severe.

I have friends who's birthday presents consist of trips to fucking italy or the bahamas. Who complain when their parents drag them on yet another international vacation. Some are amazing people who are grateful and work their asses off. And some of them are a bit entitled. My mom said most 26 year olds are living on their own with jobs and I fucking laughed. The only 26 year olds with their own apartments especially in my area either have 5 roommates in a 2 bedroom shithole, got lucky and have a high paying tech job, their parents pulled strings to get them hired, or their parents are paying partly or fully for their apartment.

And when i tried to find an apartment? She discouraged me and told me id never be able to afford one (correct) but now im suddenly able to when it suits her argument? Ive been heavily job hunting for over a year and got ONE interview who ghosted me after two interviews. I make $2k MAX. Rent in my area is $1700-2500 for a freaking studio. The $1700 one doesn't let you see the apartment and gets snapped up immediately. And these are all apartments within a 2 hour radius. All the "affordable housing" is for people 55 and older.

Like I literally have no options. I can't move until I get a job in that area. I can't leave the country cause Im disabled and also thats fucking expensive. My bf makes less than me and even combined we couldn't afford a place.

Literally, I've never been suicidal before. Ive never struggled with that due to my fear of death. But all of this? Ive recently had suicidal thoughts and its fucking scary. Thoughts that killing myself would make it easier for everyone else. That it would be easier to just end it, that life will always be a living hell and i should just give up. And thats fucking scary! I shouldn't have those thoughts! But that's how bad it is.

I try to do what my therapist told me. I try to set boundaries. But setting a boundary means not eating dinner bc I leave when my parents yell at me. I try to think positively and ignore the pain. I probably walk an average of 1-2 miles a day. I try and try and try and it hurts so much. They can't be proud of me? For even big victories? Guilting me about graduation cause I took too long. Keeping a job for more than a year (its not a REAL job cause its hourly and doesnt have benefits).

Like what's the point? I've been fighting and fighting and most of the world wants to see me dead and gone anyway. I'm trying to work in a field that doesn't even consider people like me. If I cant work Ill just bring my boyfriend and my family down. Every step forward I manage to take I get dragged back 10.

Im so tired and ashamed and stressed and my fucking body hurts worse now because of the stress and i just dont want to wake up tomorrow.

[heartfullofleeches]

this whole school is full of mentally unstable ppl. im here to make it worse

theres this goth girl that sits in the very back of all your classes, an inkblot against the wall- she managed to change her schedule to match yours. if anybody asks, she'll say she put some of sort of love spell on you but really shes just got blackmail on the principal. she sits at the table next to yours at lunch even if its full of ppl she hates (which means anyone who isnt you), even trails behind you as you walk home despite living the complete opposite direction (and its a miracle you dont hear her- her boots are very loud !) she practically materializes from your shadow just to sit next to you at all those stupid pep rallies

shes never managed to work up the courage to speak to you, but my god is she smitten. just wants to wrap you up in her long coat and never ever ever ever let you go ! -esoterica (lowkey tumblr has been Devouring all my asks lately i'll be so sad if this one doesnt make it 😔ive known unnamed yandere goth gf for 12 seconds and i love her already)

Regina tosses the small rock in her hands a few times as you walk ahead of her. The smaller zipper on your backpack was unzipped - like you were expecting and wanted her plan to work out in the end. Coming up in a group of trash cans, she lifts her hood over head and hurls the rock as hard as she can against one of them.

As you inspect the source of the vibration, Regina runs up behind you and shoves something in your backpack before trying to speed away. She doesn't move fast enough as you feel the tug on your bag and turn to face her. She blushes as your eyes meet hers.

"Your backpack was unzipped. Pay more attention next time." She says in a monotone, slightly deeper voice in hopes you won't recognize her. She wont be able to wear her colored contacts for a while, but it's worth it if you don't know she's the one who left the gift in your bag - despite it being a secret confession of her love.

Regina scampers away before you can even thank her.

-

At home, you find a keychain in your back with a skeletal kitten holding its open dismembered tail in its mouth and the tag line, "You've got me by the tail."

You don't think much of it more than a kind gesture by a potential admirer, but it's so much more - embedded with the love she held for after all the missed opportunities to hand it over to you in the past. In the classroom, by the bleachers, outside your house at night. It was just a silly little trinket she got as a promotional prize that became a charm and symbol of her love.

The following day, Regina was more quiet than usual at the sight of that little keychain on your zipper - utterly shell-shocked and in prayer that one day she'll get over her nerves and tell you how she feels.

[zedif-y]

birthday headcanon :]

impulse and bdubs are still bound to each other. in fact, they have been since the beginning. since that fateful moment in third life, where bdubs betrayed him for a clock.

theyre not bound in a traditional soulmate way, not usually. the narrative itself has stuck them together and they cannot be pulled apart. theres this pull, this instinctive draw that keeps them as each others doom and livelihood at the same time. back and forth. the wither impulse built leading to bdubs death in last life. the soulmates in double life. etho, skizz, and tango swapping out bdubs one life game for impulse in a later one. bdubs final death and impulses hands in limited life.

and of course, the clock impulse hands over time and time again.

they physically cannot stay away from each other. narrative counterparts for as long as the games go on. they can feel the pull. they know when the other one dies.

- headc-anon

(side note, did tumblr eat my other asks? i think ive sent a couple that didnt get posted)

OH MY GOD!!! THIS IS VERY SWEET OF YOU, I APPRECIATE THE LITTLE BIRTHDAY GIFT<3

i'm going to be . thinking about this for a long while. soulmates in the sense that they will be each other's doom. soulmates in the sense that no matter how far they run nor how hard they fight it, they will tear each other apart, one way or another.

but in the same vein: the hand that breaks will also mend. the hand that kills you will also hold you gently. the lips that tear into your throat will kiss you oh so sweetly.

i miss impdubs so much </3

[ceasarslegion]

honestly i think if this site finally dies to a ceo meltdown (which might be the only thing that can kill it lmao) i think... it would be for the best to just leave this place and the communities it fostered buried

I won't go to cohost, or bluesky, or anything. Y'all can catch me on my already made social (1) (discord. Im not giving anybody my facebook account with my full name on it after the death threats ive gotten over the years here) if you want, but this site has been going downhill ever since the advent of cringe culture and ace discourse circa 2015. It feels like recent months have been hurtling towards the logical conclusion of the turbo-echo chamber this site exists in. I seriously miss the era where it was just superwholock jokes and the only drama you'd hear about was the occasional bone-stealing witch level shit that everybody would go "lmao what" about and then go back to their regularly-scheduled movie discussions. Maybe i'll go back to pinterest at most and spend the rest of my time in fandom and furry forums and AO3. It would compel me to write and draw a lot more.

And honestly, I think tumblr finally getting the plug pulled on its long-dying life support may be legitimately helpful for a lot of the users who yanked this site's culture away from that and into the echo chamber. They might like, go outside for once. I know "touch grass" is a cliche or whatever but I do think a lot of this echo chamber can be chalked up to sitting on the computer all day and never getting exposed to anybody outside of your self-imposed internet echo chamber. Go outside, get some fresh air.

Also, it won't be the end of the world. If your free time and happiness is really that contingent on any one social media site then it may be for the best to take it away from you. Learn how to entertain yourself without it. There's a whole world out there to explore. Find something else to do. Pick up new hobbies, look into events in your area. Get really into some weird niche hobby and spend all that time doing that instead of just posting on a different website if this one's finally done. Remember that 4chan guy whose life turned around after he got really into raising shrimp instead of discoursing on 4chan all day? Maybe it's time to find your shrimp raising hobby instead of just posting the same things and perpetuating the same cycles on a different site.

I'm not saying to go full amish and abandon the internet altogether but i am saying that if this website has consumed so much of you that the prospect of it imploding is this upsetting to you, maybe you need to start raising shrimp for a while. I think it would be good for you.

Idk man, I'm chilling in my chair here but if it goes, she goes. I'll find something else to do, but this site hasn't been the tumblr I stuck around for for a long time now, so it won't be the end of the world for me if it ends. I'd just grab my favourite mutuals discords and head out to get more into the furry fandom and write more fic instead. I never wanted to be exposed to this much of the everything on this site anyway, I joined for the memes and the fandom content way back in 2010 and then just never really left.

[saltyr3mix]

OK SO IVE HAD THIS IDEA FOR A WHILE! i think it was inspired by a tumblr post but here is an outline for a Oliver gets possessed by litho timeline idea!

Child. was watching tv with his parents when they started to be....not great parents. ummmm he fights back and now has two dead adults on his hands but is like Sara in the sense he doesn't quite realize what hes done. or at least is one hell of an actor to the cops.

his siblings are still around but once parents died he was to young to hold custody so he hasn't seen them since that night. they moved away.

founders trio happens the same. but instead of phone calls Oliver grows distant watching some sort of news channel. still has the same effect and follows Sara's footsteps except with tv instead of phones.

Winnie shows up. we love to see it. Lewis dies the same. only Oliver is a lot less....i don't know...mischievous with it. hes more cold, calculated vibes than Sara's quick jabs and menacing one liners. i also think hes just a tad more sympathetic to Litho/Winnie than Sara because missing siblings/kids. he knows how that feels.

other deaths go the same minus the twins. because! we replace them with uhhhh idk yet. either Celio or Norman. someone close to Sara.

Sara! then gets Damien involved. for detective reasons and also because she knows hes been Olivers crush for years and can try to talk some sense into him

it didn't work. Oliver sends Sara to the basement and she get a radio instead of Tv which i think is fun!

i think Damien ends up making the virus in this au. in fact the way i see it the radio trap was meant for him but Sara ended up falling for it so hes in here looking for her but also trying to help Oliver.

Drama romance bloodshed, the series goes on as usual. other fun facts when Litho takes over Oliver's soul gets shoved into the WTD website, this is really my theory on what happend to cannon Sara. but making it cannon in this au because its cool.

Big end confrontation with the collector and stuff. we get a moment of softness from Litho seeing his brother again, and then star reveals he knows where the twins are. this is where major cannon divergence starts to happen. because that breaks Oliver out of Lithos control. even for a second. his eyes flash black to blue before Litho reeks havoc and memory stuff happens.

Wiatt ends up escaping along with Damien with their new found goal of finding Oliver's younger siblings while trying to restore everyone's memories.

Twins are either circus performers or just like genuinely living in the middle of no where with some random guy who i would connect to a character, like a sibling of one of the main cast.

Is this twin centric when it probably shouldn't be?.....yes. big reason ill never write this is because i always feel like im either dragging it to far from cannon or two close to cannon to make an au thats interesting.

Anyway feel free to ask be about it if you want. this is pretty much all i have for it but im more than happy to add more.

[whereisten]

OMG YOURE BACK IVE MISSED YOU GUYS❤️

and omg you’re writing again too?😭 what a good dayyyy. I clicked on the notification when I saw that tumblr notified be you guys were back💗 anywaysss for the prompt game:

“It hurts…” “what?” “Loving someone who doesn’t love you…”

Can i have it with yangyang please❤️😭 thank youuu, preferably friends to lovers where yangyang is oblivious the reader has a crush on him

BUT ALSO HOW ARE YOU GUYSS, IVE MISSED YOU

Thank you SO so much!!! We are doing well and hope you are too 🥺💖💖💖 I’m sorry this took so long but here we go!! I hope you like it!

Unrequited Love (a,f)

Yangyang x female reader (oneshot)

Contains: angst, fluff, a little cursing, jealousy, surprise guest 😏

Word count: 1.9k

25.”It hurts…” “what?” “Loving someone who doesn’t love you…”

-------

“I can’t believe I’m ready before you for once.” You swung your chair back to facing Yangyang’s gaming computer to finish the level he could never beat. You were both getting ready for your senior prom or what the entire world referred to as “the best night of your life.” 

You weren’t so sure about that, after all, you had no date. To make matters worse, you’d have to watch your one true love go with someone else. You didn’t think it was fair, but if it made Yangyang happy, that’s all that mattered.

Yangyang scoffed “well…you don’t have to wear much makeup, you don’t have to do anything special to look..pretty.” The last word came out in the most gentle whisper, but you still heard it.

Your thumbs stuttered in movement. You didn’t move your character in time and quickly lost a life as some other player took advantage of your shock and shot you.

You paused the game and turned to him slowly. He still buttoned his dress shirt up like he didn’t do or say anything wrong.

“W-what did you just say?”

He turned to you with a smirk as he folded his collar. “Nothing.” He shrugged.

“Wait wait wait wait…” you jumped out of the chair and walked up to him.

“You can’t just-!”

He interrupts you with a loud sigh.

“Can you fix my bow tie for me?”

He hands you the tie while your mouth is still open.

You scoff and take it in your hands.

You stepped closer to him, bowing your head slightly so you could pay closer attention to his slender neck.

You were shaking and you hoped he didn’t notice, but this was the closest you had been to the boy you secretly loved.

Your fingers simply brushed his warm skin and you felt sparks at the tips. You swallowed hard as you remembered just how good he looked in a suit.

He chuckled. “At this rate, we’ll never get to prom.”

You rolled your eyes. “Maybe if you stopped taking a peak at my cleavage and tilted your head back, this would be easier for me!”

Yangyang quickly looked up to elongate his neck but not before ushering an “ugh ew!”

You knew he was joking, but a part of you felt defeated at that. Why didn’t he feel the same way about you? Why did he have to crush on the most basic looking girl? You’ve known him since 5th grade, she’s only known him since this year. It wasn’t fair, but once again, she made him happy, that’s all that matters.

You finally stepped back and turned from him. “There..you’re all set..can we go now?”

Yangyang frowned when you turned away from him. He didn’t know why you seemed sad for the biggest night of your lives, but he wished you weren’t. You were supposed to have fun together.

“Y/n..” he said softly.

“Yeah?” You looked at him over your shoulder. 

Time moved slowly. In a perfect world, this would be the moment. He’d finally confess his love to you. He’d ditch his date or maybe you’d both ditch prom altogether and just hang out. You would spend time together and express your love for each other. He’d say “I’m sorry I didn’t realize it until now.” And finally, you’d finally-

“You ready for some fun?” He tossed the car keys to you and smiled brightly.

You forced a smile and nodded.

———

Yangyang met his date at prom and you watched from the side as they took photos. You pretended to fix your hair and makeup. You looked at your nails and even talked to random students you never even seen before tonight. You tried everything not to watch them together. Your heart was breaking. You felt so beautiful and yet, you envied the girl at the center of Yangyang’s attention.

Yangyang held her closely as they walked towards the dance floor. He turned back to you when he realized you were behind him and waved you over. However, you pretended not to see him over the crowd and went outside to the balcony area.

You looked over a beautiful garden lit by white Christmas lights and the gazebo at the center. It was perfect. You could easily feel like a princess. If only you had a Prince.

“It hurts..” a male voice echoes from the doorway.

You turned to him. “What?”

“Loving someone who doesn’t love you..” he tilts his head towards the party.

The boy is none other than your ex, Jeno.

You chuckled. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Jeno.”

He steps closer to you, standing right across from you now as you look back out at the garden.

“Come on y/n…I see the look in your eyes when you look at Yangyang..you look at him like he created the stars, the moon, and night itself..”

You look back at Jeno as he looks deeply into your eyes.

“I would’ve given anything to have you look at me that way..just once.” He continues.

“Jeno..you know I—“ you swallowed hard.

“You have a special place in your heart for me..yeah I know, I remember the break-up letter you wrote to me.” He chuckled.

“What you feel now…is what I felt every day I was with you.”

“Is that why you came out here? To make me feel worse than I already do?” Your eyes started to fill up with tears and you weren’t sure why. Jeno was so sweet. He was a great boyfriend, but your heart belonged to Yangyang, even he couldn’t keep you from loving him.

But you weren’t crying because of Jeno, were you? No, you were crying because he was right. It did hurt to love someone that didn’t love you back.

He shook his head. “No..I’m here to tell you to stop..either let him go or tell him the truth..”

“Jeno..you know I can’t do that.”

“Tell him everything, tell him how you feel and how you can’t go five minutes without your heart racing just because he’s looked at you.”

“And what will that do? It will ruin our friendship, just stop.” You grew furious at Jeno’s bizarre statements and walked by him to the door leading back into the party.

He took your hand and pulled you back. “You broke up me because you love him! It’s only fair that you let him know that!”

Your head snaps back to him. “Fair for who? For you! I will never tell Yangyang.”

“Tell me what?” Yangyang speaks out from behind you.

You swallow hard and turn back to him, tears were running down your cheeks now. You were embarrassed. This night had turned into a mess so fast, you didn’t know what to do.

“Y/n? Are you okay? Jeno? What the hell did you do?”

Jeno let you go but remained silent.

“He--he didn’t do anything Yangyang, don’t worry about it, I’m fine.”

“Fuck that, you don’t look fine.” Yangyang grows angry at the sight of you in tears with your ex just a few feet away.

“What’s wrong? Why are you crying? What did he do, y/n?”

He reaches for your cheek but you back away.

Jeno steps to you, but Yangyang quickly pushes him away. “Back off asshole!”

“Yangyang!” You step in before the situation escalates. “Im not crying because of him..I’m crying because of you.” You let out and immediately regretted it. 

“What?” Yangyang stared in disbelief.

You ran through the party and out the front door. 

Yangyang ran after you as his date ran after him.

“Y/n! Let’s talk about this..is what he said true?”

You stopped in your tracks for a moment.

He heard Jeno. You grew even more embarrassed and started to run again.

You quickly hopped in your car and started to drive home. Tears blurred your vision, but you could still see a heartbroken and confused Yangyang in your review mirror.  He called out to you, but his voice grew quieter as you drove further and further away.

———

It was the next morning when you heard a knock on your door.

You pulled your pillow over your head and pretended to sleep.

After a few minutes, the door flew open.

You sighed and lifted the pillow off.

“It’s a Saturday, why are you waking me up-“ you mumbled, but stopped when you realized it wasn’t any parent coming in.

Yangyang stood at the foot of your bed with his arms crossed.

“You piss me off.” He picked up another pillow that was at the end of your bed and threw it hard at you. Your head flung back but you quickly grabbed the pillow that was behind your head and threw it at him.

“You piss ME off! What the hell do you want?” You jumped out bed and grabbed another pillow and threw it at him before he could respond.

He caught it in hands effortlessly and suddenly the two of you were paying an angry game of pillow dodgeball at 9 a.m.

“Why didn’t you answer my calls or at least text me, you asshole!!” He threw it back at you.

You stepped to the side. “Why did I ever give you a key to my house?!” You yelled and threw your high heel shoe this time.

Yangyang’s eyes widened as he dropped yo the floor to dodge it.

“Okay!! Okay! That’s enough!” He yelled.

You panted and say on the edge of your bed.

He stood up slowly before sitting beside you.

“Y/n…”

“I don’t want to talk about it Yangs.”

“Well..I do.” He said softly.

You turned to face him, your mascara was smudged and your hair was messy, you looked a mess, but Yangyang loved it nonetheless. To him, you were always beautiful.

“It’s my fault..” he sighed before continuing. “I’ve been so oblivious this entire time..because I’ve just been so focused on..”

“Yourself?” You smirked.

He chuckled. “..yeah.”

You sighed loudly and fell into the bed. “I’m sorry, I should’ve never said anything to Jeno..now I’ve made the friendship awkward.”

“What are you talking about? You’ve only made things clearer for me to be honest.”

Your brows furrowed.

“Y/n..I love you too..and not just a friendly love..I think..no, I know I love you.”

He laid down beside you.

You chuckled. “And now you’re making fun of me.”

He places a hand on your chin and turns your face towards his. He kisses you without much thought, keeping his lips on yours in hopes that you won’t pull away.

And you don’t. You close your eyes and embrace the kiss, feeling like all your worries were lifted from your shoulders. You no longer felt heartbroken.

You pulled away to breathe and blinked rapidly. “That was…”

“Amazing.”

“Weird.” You said before laughing. You both felt strange but good.

“What about your date from last night? Are you sure about this?” You displayed a look of concern that Yangyang found to be adorable.

“Oh her? She’s pretty and all..but she isn’t you.”

You smiled widely before sitting up and grabbing a pillow to throw at him. 

“If you barge into my room like that again, I’ll throw actual basketballs.”

He laughs and wraps his arms around your waist to pull you back to the bed.

——-

Thank youuu I hope you enjoyed!! I was actually gonna stop it at the scene where y/n drives away but i wanna be nice hehe

[pool-floatie]

I feel the need to share my g/t experience with erryone since its been on my mind for a while and I find it interesting how early on It showed up.

Ever since I was a little kid, probably 5-7 years old, I had little daydreams occasionally about giants taking me to their houses or a park or wherever and they would tease me and have fun with me, I was always scared of course because apparently ive always liked this fearplay bullshit, but i still found it exhillirating and fun. Of course it wasnt romantic or anything until I got older, just,,, like a really tall roller coaster, scary but exciting.

When I started reading, i found one of the borrowers books, i think my mom actually got it for me (maybe i had mentioned the daydreams??) ! I think it was The littles and The Biggs families, but yeah. I loved it and i tried to find more but they werent at my school library 😭 so Iworked with what I had, a book and a dream. (lol cringe-)

While i was in 4th- 6th grade I had kind of repressed it, I still thought about it on occasion but i started to realise that nobody else had that interest and it was just a wierd thing with me... Until I watched the BFG (cliche right 🙄) it was when the movie came out and people were talking about it! For a while it held the title of my favorite movie just so I could talk about it when people asked that particular icebreaker.

One night in like... 7th grade I had a dream that i was at church (lol cringefail imagine being religious...) and I picked up a piece of paper inviting people to come test out an experiment... Then i saw a flash And somewhere from the depths of my memories, my brain pulled out one of my old daydream scenarios.

I was in a laboratory with several other humans and we were all in a big glass box. Surrounding us were giants who took us out of the container and gave us baths, undressing us and scrubbing us down with toothbrushes so we would be clean for the examination.

I was taken away to a desk and meticulously examined from head to toe, the giant tried to probe me with questions but I was too shocked to speak.

Thats all I can remember but I was so fascinated by the dream that I started telling my family about it, now of course nobody wanted to hear me talk about my dream for 20 minutes, so my mom encouraged me to write it down.

And oh hell did I write.

My first long form writing stemmed from a dream I had, i wrote for months, of course, I was 13 do it was flaming garbage but I was so happy about it and thought it was a masterpiece.

So naturally as anyone would, I emailed it to my english teacher.

She never responded.

I wonder why.

To this day I pray that she never opened it, her emails being too cluttered with important school things that it got lost and never crossed her eyes.

But still, it was through this little writing that I began to realise my potential (lol cringe origin story-)

I still have the draft of the story, its plot and characters were a good foundation, and perhaps one day i will look it over, change a few things, get cancer and die.

During quarantine I discovered Sanders Sides, which led me down a fanfiction rabbit hole, which led me to tumblr, which led me to a creator called delimeful , not sure if they want to be tagged in this so I wont... They wrote some marvelous G/t Sanders sides fanfic and i soon realised... This is a community, it wasnt just them.. There was, so /much/ so many artists and writers that shared this niche interest, a community of people who g e t i t .

It started slow, I continued interacting with the tumblr community ( hell, the husk of my old blog might still roam this site (|||O⌓O;) )

Only ever looking for safe, wholesome g/t.

But where was the stomach-dropping exhilliration I had felt before, that rollercoaster feeling? What was missing??

I needed the fearplay, and in looking for it i stumbled into vore and that dynamic, playing with pred/prey and even more teasing. I was hesitant at first.

But lo and behold that was the gawd damn ticket. I started to write again, finding new stories and creators and tropes galore! I learned about the community, the terms and the subgenres!

Finally I gained confidence in my writing ability through a class that helped me grow my skills and practice.

And I eventually decided i could share all my hard work. All this time I had spent worrying if i should just keep it to myself, but i reminded myself of all the non beta read and unfinished work i had seen, and looking back at my own I was less afraid, people still liked it even then... So what could they say about mine ?

There ya go, thats my,, I guess life story told through the g/t Timeline.

Hopefully I was vague enough to not give away any behind the scenes, yall will never know who I am 😈😈😈

Also im not trying to bash any creators, I appreciate everyone who contributes to the community with anything they have.

[dog-in-disguise]

30 day fictionkin challenge

but I do all the rest in one day cause I forgot about them and now don't want to wait

Day 7: What was your introduction to fictionkin?

Watching Alice in wonderland [1951] as a child!

Day 8: Are you similar to your fictotype in personality? How so?

i am! I would say I am quite wacky and weird :3

Day 9: Are you similar to your fictotype in appearance? How so?

not at all lol

Day 10: Link to/tag your favorite fictionkin Tumblr.

Don't have one D:

Day 11: Have you ever met other fictionkin? In real life or online?

only ever online, sadly. better then nothing though!

Day 12: Have you ever met canonmates? In real life or online? How did it go?

never :c

Day 13: Have you ever met doubles? In real life or online? How well did you get along?

ive seen old posts from other mad hatters, I admit I don't like it. it makes me doubt my muchness

Day 14: What are shifts like?

shifts are often feeling very silly, wanting to speak in riddles, walking differently, and wanting to make art!

Day 15: How do you deal with kin-for-fun?

idk, I don't really want to talk about it. but I really don't care, as long as you're not hurting anyone I'm not too invested

Day 16: What are your thoughts on symbols, flags, etc.?

I LOVE flags. pride flags, country flags, ship flags, union flags. any flags, I love it. so I like the alterhuman flags :3 and symbols are a great way of recognising other alterhumans!

Day 17: Does fictionkinity connect to spirituality for you?

i not sure, it's complicated

Day 18: Does fictionkinity connect to neurodivergence for you?

for me? yes! autistic people are often seen as weird, which makes me connect more with the mad hatter, cause he is weird. also because the mad hatter has mad hatters disease, which also makes him act out of place.

Day 19: Do other people notice your similarity to a character or species?

yes! I won't say exactly why, because it would give away my dead name. but I definitely have been compared to him!

Day 20: How do you express your fictotype? Clothes, merch, cosplay, maybe even name?

arts and crafts, especially sewing. also currently sewing buttons to a brown coat, I can't wait! it already gives me shifts

Day 21: What’s something about the fictionkind community that you wish was different?

to be honest, nothing comes to mind at the moment

Day 22: What’s something about the fictionkind community that you appreciate?

same as above loo

Day 23: How do you approach consuming your source? Analytically, obsessively, casually, reluctantly, etc…

i don't really consume my media. I watch the movies every once in a while, and I do own multiple books about Alice in wonderland. but for the most part I don't, I know it pretty well as I grew up watching aiw 2010 so yeah!

Day 24: What’s the worst anti-fickin take you’ve ever seen?

literally haven't seen any I can remember

Day 25: What’s the best anti-fickin take you’ve ever seen? Respond to it.

also can't remember xd

Day 26: What are some songs that remind you of your fictotype or source?

im only gonna list one cause I have so many

Cheshire kitten (we're all mad there) but S. J. tucker

Day 27: What are some other characters/species that remind you of your fictotype?

willy wonka >:3

Day 28: Do you have a favorite piece of fanart? (Better to reblog for this day, do not repost someone’s art.)

d o n t h a v e o n e

Day 29: Do you have activities that connect you to your source? (Food, hobbies, interests, etc.)

sewing, arts an crafts, sweets, riddles,

Day 30: Talk about what it’s like to be your fictotype.

its fun all around for me. the only downsides I ever have is missing my friends from underland, [especially March hare, my love], and seeing doubles. other then that, it's great :3

[lazaruspiss]

sorry (not sorry) for abt to make ur jason sad hours longer 😔 www(.)tumblr(.)com/dizaryswrites/726489826907570176/utrh-jason-is-an-angry-son-lashing-out-at-every

ohh i have mixed feelings on this one. esp bc depictions of willis have varied from what i know of him? like, sometimes hes an irredeemable abuser and other times he's just a guy trying his best but not being able to bc of the systems in place. like i don't remember there being any implication that jasons dad was abusive in his original story (been a while since ive read it so dont quote me on that), just that he wasn't around bc yknow. in prison. my impression of him is generally "absentee father but not by choice". not that readings of him as abusive are wrong but i'm not sure i see it as such a clear cut thing.

as for henchmen. thats so. jason is such a "means to the end" kind of guy to me. like a "killing the head guy causes new problems, killing his lackeys makes him easier to control" type deal. jason is incredibly strategic in what he does which is why he can be such a pest to the people around him and why he's intimidating in the first place.

one of those posts that feel like a "well i was with you for the first half" bc the allusion to chess is spot on, jason IS a strategist, its the dad bits that threw me off. I do think it's a valid interpretation, it's just not one I find personally compelling. esp bc the idea that hes killing henchmen to kill his father over and over again feels like it takes away from the previously mentioned strategy aspect of what he does.

again, I don't doubt that there's canon stories somewhere that i've missed that have willis as an abusive husband, and I think in that context that interpretation probably makes sense. but I'm just not that familiar with those versions. I also just personally find jason's story much more compelling with the version of willis that wasn't abusive or good, just gone. missing out on almost all of jason's life, missing his wife's death, sitting in a prison cell because he was desperate to get by.

TLDR: it's not contradicting canon or anything from what i can tell, i just don't like it and i think it makes the rest of jason's character more... boring.

[daydreaming-scheming-demon]

how can people make friends so easily? how the fuck is it even possible to make a friend? or even do anything with anyone? i've heard stories of ppl who can just have casual sex with strangers and im just thinking, how the fuck is that possible? i can't even get someone to want to talk to me, the online world has been the only place where i even have a chance to hold a conversation.

i've listened to people's fucking advice on how to make friends and none of it works. they say "oh, well if u keep showing up to the same group of people or whatever eventually u're sure to make some friends" and NO, THAT DOES NOT FUCKING WORK. they just turn you into a background character. they're not interested in anything you have to say or do, they tune you out, i've seen it.

when we went bowling i was put in a lane all by myself because the lane everyone was playing on was full. i've been kept out of playing mario party because there weren't enough controllers. ive sat through an entire dnd session without doing anything besides looking at a letter because the dm forgot about me.

i shouldn't even be mad about any of that. because if im gonna be honest with myself, even if i were put in the same lane as everyone, even if i were able to join in on mario party, even if i were included more in the dnd session, i highly doubt i would've been able to make any friends anyway. because that's just the kind of person i am. it's not like i don't try to force myself to be included, ppl just seem to naturally push me away.

and just to clarify, they don't push me away in the "i don't like you" kind of way, they push me in away in the "i don't care for you" kind of way. and honestly, i think id rather they hated me. because at least then they would care about me.

i thrive much better in the online world, but even then i still feel like i'm missing a manual on how friends are supposed to be made. i see people on steam with thirty something friends, and although im aware most are likely not very close to the person, im still very much all "how the fuck did u meet all those people".

i can't even remember the last time i had physical contact. i would hug my therapist but due to reasons beyond my control ive only been able to have online sessions with her.

quite a while ago i had an online friend who i'd talk with quite a lot. she was so nice to me, always brightened me up. we'd talk for hours about each other's troubles and such. we knew each other ever since i was 15 and she was 14. she was the only thing keeping me sane through all those years. but almost a year ago now, she ghosted me. i still don't know why she did it, she never said anything. i can still see her online, she just avoids me. this ruined me. i was only left to assume the worst, that there was something wrong with me, and i didnt know what.

now i freak out over being ignored, i convince myself everyone secretly hates me. i know im probably wrong, it's not all about me. but i can't stop myself from thinking the worst. i fixate over if anyone will ghost me like she did. im trying to get over this, slowly but hopefully surely.

i have massive amounts of self hatred that feel impossible to get over. i cant think of a day where i havent told myself i hate myself, and recently ive been telling myself to kill myself more frequently. i want anyone who says "how can you expect others to love you when you can't even love yourself" to go die in a volcano. by the time i'm able to solve this self hatred problem i'd probably have already died from loneliness.

for fuck's sake, im venting on tumblr to whoever happens to see this. because i have nobody to fucking go to to express these feelings. i have nobody, so im venting to fucking tumblr. fuck.

i just wish i had someone.

[winteratdusk]

“Like we used to” has me interested! 🤔 I’m curious to know what’s going on with that title. (Also ive been away for so long im sorry omg life is trash but I’m so glad you tagged me!) I’ll probably post mine with weekend ❤️ Looking forward to yours!!!

Ahh I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long to respond to this - I’ve also been away forever! I cannot believe that October is almost over, and I’m so disappointed that I wasn’t able to get anything done for whumptober this year… I partly just wasn’t feeling the prompts this year, and I also kind of haven't been feeling Tumblr :P 

But thank you so much for the ask!! “like we used to do” is a missing scene from my Bucky-comes-home-from-the-war-in-the-40s au. I called the series "dancing like we used to do," from the Ella Fitzgerald song “I’m Making Believe,” which I was listening to a lot while writing the original fic. It felt like it invoked the separation the two would feel when Bucky was at war, and I liked the nostalgic line about imagining the way things used to be, since that's sort of what the fic is about - them trying to rebuild a version of the life they had before, despite the things that have irrevocably changed.

I reread the story a while ago and (despite hating the way it was written) realized that I skipped over most of Bucky’s first few days back, which had a lot of potential for hurt/comfort moments. Rereading the fic made me imagine those moments in detail, and I wanted to put them into writing.

At the moment I’m still trying to make myself finish this wip, mostly because I don’t like leaving things unfinished, but if I can get through that I might also return to other projects including “like we used to do.”

Thank you so much again for the ask! 😊❤️